Chapter Text
Rex scrolled through his datapad absentmindedly, letting the blue tinged light burn into his eyes and probably cause some kind of long term damage. All of the important documents he’d needed to overview, sign or, most often, send up to someone with more authority had been handled within a couple of hours of the small naval battle that the 501st legion, with the help of the 212th attack battalion, had been engaged in.
The only reason Rex was even bothering to continue working, rather than taking a well-earned nap, was that he, General Skywalker and Commander Tano were waiting for General Kenobi and Commander Cody to turn up to the battle debriefing and he wanted to look like he was doing something.
Not that he thought it would bother either of his commanding officers if he wasn’t working; they certainly weren’t. Ahsoka had her reports datapad propped up in front of her but was clearly scrolling through her smaller, personal pad rather than looking at it and Anakin wasn’t even trying to hide the fact he wasn’t working, instead spending his time mutilating a mouse droid.
Eventually, the doors to the briefing room slid open to announce the heads of the 7th Sky Corps. Rex lowered his datapad to turn to them, Ahsoka fumbled her pad to make it look like she hadn’t been mindless scrolling the holonet and Anakin reluctantly put down his newly constructed super-rodent-bot.
Obi-Wan and Cody were completely oblivious to all of this as they were completely absorbed in their conversation. And a rather heated conversation at that, Rex noted with slight surprise. Cody and Obi-Wan rarely argued over, well anything. They always seemed to be perfectly in sink with each other.
“General,” Cody was saying. “What would you say to a Vode if he decided to charge into battle in nothing but his blacks?”
Ah, Rex thought, that explains it. Cody had been trying to wrestle armour onto his Jetii for the entirety of the war, so far unsuccessfully.
“What, you mean a non-force sensitive man who can’t detect blaster shots he can’t see till they hit him?” Obi-Wan shot back. “Well maybe then I’d bloody well tell him to put some armour on but, if you haven’t noticed, I am force sensitive and can sense blaster shots I can’t see!”
Cody make a frustrated sound that indicated he’d already heard this reasoning a hundred times before. “Don’t give me that force-sensitive osik, we both know that just because you can sense shots doesn’t mean you can always avoid them!”
Obi-Wan opened his mouth like he was about to say something but before he could the General was cut of by a laugh from Anakin. “Uh oh, mum and dad are fighting.”
Cody turned to glare sharply at him, hands clutching the edge of the holotable in the centre of the room and body leaning over it. “What did you say to me Skywalker?”
At his brother’s outraged expression and active show of uncharacteristic insubordination, Rex burst out laughing. Properly laughing, in a way he probably hadn’t since he first heard the Kid call Anakin Skyguy.
His laughter was contagious and quickly spread to Commander Tano who stared giggling at the whole situation, then to General Skywalker and who snorted at Cody’s growing annoyance and finally to General Kenobi who chuckled softly.
At his Jetii’s laughter Cody turned a disappointed look to him. “Really sir?”
Obi-Wan composed himself by taking breath and straightening his posture. “Anakin,” he scolded. “That is entirely inappropriate language for a military environment.”
General Skywalker scoffed. “Sorry dad.”
Ahsoka giggled again and Rex let out another huff of a laugh, not quite able to get enough breath in for a full one, before a thought struck him. “Wait does that make Cody the mum?”
“Oh yeah,” Commander Tano spoke up. “I feel like he’d be the dad.”
Cody rolled his eyes like he couldn’t believe they were having this conversation and Obi-Wan smiled softly at him in a way that Rex would bet the General thought was subtle.
“No, no you see,” Anakin started explaining. “Obi-Wan gives off feminine dad energy and Cody gives off masculine mum energy.”
“Feminine dad energy?” Obi-Wan asked with a smirk at the same time Cody gave an unimpressed “Masculine mum energy?”
“Oh yeah I see that.” Rex looked at his brother, who stared right back at him with an his same unimpressed expression, and nodded. “Like a masculine sports coach mum.”
“Yes! Exactly!” Anakin exclaimed.
“So we’re like the children.” Ahsoka said with a gesture at herself, her master and Rex.
Cody sighed. “Rex is my brother… so he’d be like your uncle.”
Obi-Wan laughed again like he was overjoyed Cody was participating in this nonsense and that pulled his Commander into a laugh as well. The three 501stians laughed too before Anakin turned to Rex. “Hello, Uncle Rex!”
Ahsoka mimicked him with a grin. “Hey Uncle Rex!”
Rex pulled his expression into one of seriousness. “Hello my niblings.”
With that everyone burst into another round of laughs at the ridiculous sounding term before Obi-Wan took a breath that seemed to settle the whole room.
“Well, as much as I’d like to spend the hour playing house with you all, we do have a debrief to get to.” He said as he stepped closer to the holotable.
Anakin and Ahsoka seemed to calm themselves at this, recognising that the time for messing around was over but Cody just tilted his head in confusion. “Playing house? Never heard that one before.”
“Oh,” Obi-Wan turned to him. “It’s a game I used to play with my crèchemates that involved assigning roles to each other like mother, father or uncle and then pretending we were a family.”
Rex glanced at Anakin and Ahsoka who seemed to see nothing wrong with that sentence, then glanced to Cody, who met his gaze with just as mush concern. He cleared his throat. “That sounds really sad, sir. Uh, no offence.”
“None taken Captain. In retrospect it does sound like quite a sad game.” The General said thoughtfully, raising a hand to his face in a way Rex often thought was just an excuse to feel the texture of his beard. The Captain knew if he had a beard he’d want to feel it all the time.
“Let’s play house a little longer.” Cody snapped Obi-Wan out of his thoughts and drew the attention of the others in the room. “General, as your hypothetical wife, I want you to know that I worry about your safety when your only protection in battle is loose material and a cloak that you just throw off anyway. It would reassure me if you wore some form of armour.”
Obi-Wan smiled softly at him and Rex thought he heard the Kid mutter something along the lines of “This is so gay I wish I was recording.”
“Cody, as your hypothetical husband, I don’t want you to worry about me so,” he paused as if considering his next words before sighing in defeat. “I will endeavour to make adjustments to my wardrobe.”
“That’s it?!” Cody gaped at him. “That’s what cracked the great negotiator? A whole year of trying to get you to wear armour and all I had to say was ‘as your wife’?”
Obi-Wan blushed, barely visible above his beard and Cody laughed. “Oh I am so remembering that the next time your refuse medical treatment or sleep or some other essential activity for general functionality of a person.”
“General functionality of person?” Rex asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m tired alright?” Cody snapped. “Let’s just get this meeting over with.”
The debrief was, much like the battle had been, very brief and Obi-Wan dismissed the 501stians within the hour, keeping Cody behind to discuss the ‘strictly confidential’ informative who’d given them the knowledge that won the day.
As they walked together to the canteen Anakin nudged Ahsoka with his shoulder. “Hey. You know you said you wanted a recording of that display of gayism?”
“Gayism isn’t a word but yes, go on.”
“Well…” Anakin said before letting out a short, loud whistle. Almost instantly the General’s super-rodent-bot wizzed around the corner.
“Ha!” The Commander laughed before picking up the formally-a-mouse-droid. “I’m going to send this to everyone.”
“As your General and Master I can’t allow that.” Ahsoka’s face fell. “But as older brother I’m legally obligated to encourage any and all pranks/annoyances to dad.
The kid laughed and Rex smiled at her. “As you Uncle I should advise against that, but as your Captain I have no say in your actions.”
Ahsoka’s grin turned down-right evil. “The entire GAR and Temple will know within the hour.”
Rex smiled wider. “We have no doubt.”