Chapter 1: Spiky Raph
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit story, a hobby, completely based on research done by a single individual. It should never be considered an educational material on neurodivergency of any kind. This story is not a substitute for responsible research and should never be considered as such.
Don't be scared by the Cover, this work is as fluffy as the tags say! It just also contains a healthy dose of angst at times <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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Spiky Raph
(8.3K words)
“Do you really think I can’t be a good leader?” Leo’s voice was a bit broken, as if it was a thought that had been circulating in his head for a long time, and was just now distressed enough to voice it.
It felt like a punch. Raph immediately shook his head, raising both hands placatingly. “That’s not it, of course not—”
“Then why? It feels like every time we go out you always have something against the way I—”
“No, no, Leo,” Raph interrupted, gently but firmly grabbing his younger brother by the shoulders. “You’re a great leader. I trust you, your strategy is better than mine ever was, and with Pops guiding you… you’ve grown a lot, and come a long way,” he sniffed, pushing down the intrusive thoughts that admission evoked, because Splinter hadn’t been in the right state of mind to help Raph when he needed…
No, this wasn’t about him. It was about his brother.
“I’m sorry Leo, I didn’t mean to come off as if I doubted your capabilities. I’ve just… I’ve spent so much time as the one responsible for everyone’s wellbeing. It’s— it’s difficult to stop worrying—”
“Hey,” Leo was the one to interrupt now, reassuringly patting his plastron a couple of times. Raph whimpered sadly, but took a deep breath to calm down. “Hey big guy, I get that. You’ve been looking after us since we were tots.”
He nodded tearfully. He was the eldest by four years, the first to develop in Draxum’s lab before their dad had finally Hot-Souped his way into rescuing them. Raph had looked after his baby brothers ever since they got to the sewers, as Splinter struggled to adapt to his new life as a rat mutant, and processed the loss of— well, everything.
The loss of humanity as skin turned into fur, and a tail grew out. As his vision blurred, enough that he had little choice but color code his newly-rescued children, at least until he could get used to having claws, and had enough funds to buy contact lenses; personalized stuff couldn’t be stolen.
The loss of the identity he had built for himself as Lou Jitsu, and with it the loss of fame, glory, and resources he had accumulated, as the celebrity was declared dead by the world. Splinter had started from zero when they settled down in the sewers… stealing food, clothes, blankets, kitchen utensils. Raph was the only one that could remember their first days in their new home, and it was—
Leo patted his plastron a couple of times to regain his attention. Raph sniffed and blinked away the tears. “Raph, we’re not tots anymore. You can trust us to take care of things. I mean, a couple of months ago we defeated the Shredder for good! What can be worse than that, eh? We’ll be fine big bro, don’t worry about it.”
Easier said than done, but Raph nodded all the same. “I’m… going to try.”
And by the Pizza Supreme in the Sky was he trying. In the mission that same night, it took everything in him to not point out all the dangers Leo’s plan encompassed.
“Uh-huh, good joke Leon. What’s the real plan?” Donnie crossed his arms and raised an unimpressed eyebrow, and Raph was so relieved someone else had spoken up he could hug him. He mentally upped Donnie to Favorite Brother #1 for today.
“You worry too much Dee. If something goes wrong just send the alert and I’ll portal us away,” Leo dismissed with a wave and a confident smile.
Raph looked at the enclosed space and unstable structure, the possibility of the whole thing collapsing all over their heads if the fight got messy as it probably would —
“Raph?” Mikey patted at his arm with a worried expression, and only then did Raph notice that containing the words had him physically trembling. “You cold?”
“Um—”
“Scoff. I can’t be the only one that thinks this is a bad idea,” Donnie leaned forward, supported by his bo staff. “Come on Raph, call him on his bullshit—”
“Language.”
“Pfft, I’m fifteen Raph, I’m not a tot,” Mikey rolled his eyes with a giggle, and Raph coughed in his fist in a flimsy attempt to cover his embarrassment.
“Sorry, old habit. Um…” he looked down at his brothers, noting Mikey’s relaxed and carefree expression, Donnie’s no-nonsense stand.
And then Leo, who was looking at him with a silently expectant expression.
Raph recalled their earlier conversation, gulped, and forced the air out of his lungs in the form of words: “I… trust Leo. If he thinks we can do this, then we probably can. Let’s just, uh, stay together, alright?”
So I can jump in if needed.
“Seriously?” Donnie said at the same time as Leo nodded with a bright grin, which alleviated Raph’s worries for a small moment.
“You heard the plan guys! Let’s stick together like pizza cheese, and kick butt!”
(X)
They had not stuck together like cheese. THEY HAD NOT STUCK TOGETHER LIKE CHEESE!
“We need to go!” Raph yelled, picking Mikey up and running away from the starting-to-collapse ceiling. It was just dust and small pebbles at the moment, but it would not remain that way for much longer.
“I’ve already pinged— there’s Leo’s portal!” Mikey pointed out, the blue circle flickering to life a bit too far away for Raph’s tastes. It was unusual— wherever Leo was, he probably couldn’t see them with the falling clouds of dust.
It had been a couple of months since the change in leadership, but Raph still had a commanding presence when he willed it to be. So, when he ordered for Mikey to get into his shell, his youngest brother hid inside without a second of hesitation, not stopping to think about the reason behind the instruction.
Raph threw his little brother across the distance like a frisbee, inwardly thanking all the weapon-throwing training when Mikey got through the portal. Now with both arms free, he could activate his ninpo and lift his arms above his head, protecting himself from the now-definitely-larger pieces of falling concrete.
The portal flickered and zipped at the ends, like a fading hologram, blinking into different colors of blue, orange, purple— huh, Raph hadn’t known Leo could play with the coloring like that. Was this his way of urging him to speed up? He didn’t need the encouragement, it wasn’t like he was a fan of having a building collapse over his head!
So he jumped into the portal just as it changed to pink.
Traveling through Leo’s portals always felt a bit odd, but the sensation was usually gone in the blink of an eye, and with the pass of time they all had gotten used to it.
But this didn’t feel anything like Leo’s portal should. Raph felt pressure on all sides, like he had been trapped in a cage that was gradually growing smaller, smaller, small enough for his ninpo to break, the encompassing protective red falling and dissolving around him like broken glass.
He curled into a ball, arms covering his head to try to save up space, but the pressure let up as soon as his ninpo disappeared.
And thus, in what was probably the longest portal-trip he had ever experienced — was he going to be dropped farther away than Tahiti? — he came out to the other side, crashing face-first onto the floor.
He groaned, pushing himself up. “Ugh, Leo your portal was acting—”
The end of a wooden rod stopped an inch away from his face.
“—funny. Uh?” Raph crossed his eyes to look at the offending weapon, before trailing up to the holder. A turtle yokai / mutant — first time seeing one outside of his brothers — that had a familiar purple mask covering his eyes.
Was this person imitating Donnie…?
“Who— how—?” the yokai muttered brokenly with a distrusting frown, as if he had too many questions flying through his head and was having a hard time settling on one. “How did you get here? What was that thing?”
…what thing?
“Donnie, what was that sound?” Someone asked from outside the… garage? The room was dark and spacious, with multiple mechanical things thrown around them, and an amalgamation of go-karts in the middle.
“We have an intruder!” the turtle called at the same time as Raph said: “Donnie? You’re— your name is Donatello?”
“…how do you—?”
“Step away from my brother,” a turtle of the same species — head shape was that of a box turtle, but the shell was more like a slider’s? — ordered with a much more menacing sword pointed at him.
Raph slowly crawled backwards, both hands raised placatingly. “Leonardo…?”
The turtle wearing blue frowned. “How do you know my name?”
“I heard intruder. Who is volunteering to get their face kicked?” A more gruffy voice called from the direction of the entrance, hidden from Raph’s view.
“And getting a pizza omelet served— hey!” A bit off, but he would recognize that voice anywhere.
“We don’t offer pizza to intruders!”
“Mikey!” Raph called with a relieved smile, hurriedly standing up to be able to see past the vehicles that obstructed his vision to the entrance.
“Huh?” the turtle with the red mask said at the same time as… not-Mikey raised his hand to wave enthusiastically.
“Wow, you’re huge, buddy! It’s the first time I see another turtle—”
“What— Mikey wait!” the red one said to deaf ears, since the smaller turtle had already hopped his way across the room, bypassing all three turtles to stand right in front of Raph.
“— although you’re kinda spiky. Like, everywhere. Why is your shell so— woah!” Mikey squeaked when Leo grabbed him by the shoulder to pull him backwards, stepping forward so he was on front. It was a protective gesture Raph was really familiar with.
“Ok, everyone stays behind me,” Leo ordered with a warning side-way glance at his brothers, one sword still pointing at Raph’s general direction. “And you, who are you? How do you know us?”
Raph looked down at the four same-species turtles that shared the name and color code of his family.
“I’m Raph,” he greeted honestly, looking pointedly at the other red-wearing turtle. “I know your names because… my brother’s are also named the same.”
"Yeah, sure," the smaller Raph scoffed incredulously, raising his sais, "and Mikey is Queen of England.”
“I’d be a great Queen—”
“Not the point Mikey!”
“Are you from some kind of alternate dimension?” Donnie stepped forward with a familiar spark of interest, ignoring the bickering pair, only to be grabbed by the shell and dragged backward by Leo.
“What part of stay behind me you don’t get?”
“Well, I’m sure the spiky version of you thinks otherwise!” Mikey yelled, jumping over his brothers and towards Raph, who instinctively moved his arms to catch him. “You think I would be a great Queen, don’t you?”
“Um… I’m sure you’d be great at anything you propose to, Mikey,” Raph settled for saying, moving the turtle to one arm so he could pat his head reassuringly. This Mikey was a bit taller than his own little brother.
“Hah! See? I’d be the best Queen!”
“Dude, the mess with Chris Bradford happened literally yesterday, did that not teach you anything about trusting strangers?!” the red-clad turtle scolded with a strangling gesture.
“He’s not a stranger, he’s literally you! Or, another version of you, I guess— ow, a very spiky version.”
“Sorry, sorry, my arms and shell are a bit, um, sharp,” Raph slowly put Mikey down, relaxing a bit when Leo lowered his sword, even if he didn’t put the weapon away yet. “My brothers used to get cut when clinging to me too, it takes a while to get used to.”
“Are you guys all pointy?” What.
“Uh, no? No, we’re different species—”
“That’s so cool! Me, me! What’s your Mikey’s species— hey! ”
“Behind. Me.” Leo glared with a pointed finger, then stepped forward to squint up at Raph, weapon still lowered, thankfully. “And you, if you’re… who you claim to be, then tell us who raised you.”
“Splinter,” he doubted Draxum counted. Besides, that was only applicable to Raph, and it had only been for the first years of infancy. “He’s a Rat Mutant.”
“Ok…” Leo begrudgingly admitted, “and about your family?”
“Well, I’m the older brother by four years— “
“You’re what,” his alternate version looked surprised.
“— and I like wrestling. Donnie is the smartest person on earth, he spends a bit too much time isolated in his lab but his inventions are awesome—”
“Yeah, that sounds right.”
“— and Mikey is a creative genius, he likes to paint and draw and New York is lucky to have such a talented artist decorating its walls — “
“Shell yeah!”
“— and Leo’s strategic mind never ceases to amaze me, and his sense of balance is unfair. He’s held onto the Pizza Box Stack Record for years now,” Raph huffed fondly, “and has won the Lair Games one too many times.”
The sword was now back on its sheath, as Leo smirked at the smaller Raphael. “Heard that Raph? He’s amazed at my leadership skills.”
“He was not talking about you,” Raphael rolled his eyes and shoved his brother away from him. Raph curiously wondered if he would be able to roughhouse with his brothers like that, if he weren’t the eldest... and so much bigger than them. Hurting his baby brothers accidentally had been a bit too easy and frequent back in his younger years. He had learned to treat them like glass, to be careful, and was a habit that never quite went away.
“If his Leo is like me, then yes he was,” Leo crossed his arms and nodded self-assuredly, still smiling.
Raph hummed uneasily. He had not said anything about leadership. Although Leo had been certainly improving, tonight’s mission just highlighted some of the things he still had to work on—
…tonight’s mission.
“Donnie,” Raph called to the only turtle that probably could provide some answers, “how did I get here?”
“Yeah, I’d like to know that too. I was mixing something I found on the military scrap yard—”
The other three turtles looked incredulously at their brother.
“ — with a piece of Krang tech I got from one of our fights — “
What’s a Krang?
“Smart idea, what could go wrong,” Raphael said sarcastically.
“ — but it reacted in a way I didn’t expect it to. I was trying to make a laser gun, but it opened some sort of gate instead, and even after I disconnected it from its source of energy the gate was self-sustained for a moment. I think it was probably powered from your side of it?” Donnie finished, looking up at Raph for his side of the story.
“I hope not…” That would mean the portal could have hurt Leo, and Raph had no way to check on his younger brother. He would have to trust the three siblings would patch each other up. “We were in a fight, but got separated into pairs. The building was starting to collapse with us still inside, so Leo opened a portal for us to escape, and I threw Mikey— my Mikey, through it. After that it… changed colors? By the time I reached it the color was pink, and Leo’s portals are usually blue.”
“Ok, so you lost me at: Leo opened a portal, ” Donnie admitted with a wait hand gesture, “what kind of tech was he using for that?”
“No, not tech. He was using his ninpo.”
They all looked up at him like he had grown a second head.
“Mystic powers? Traditional art of the Hamato Clan?” If anything they looked even more perplexed at that.
“Ninjutsu…?” Leo shrugged tentatively.
Raph shook his head. “Let me show you,” he took the sais out of his belt and clenched his fists, fully expecting the red projection to light up.
A red bolt traveled up his arms, but that was it.
“Uh,” Raph looked down at this hands, “wait, that’s not it—”
“Can you zap people?!” Mikey had little stars in his eyes, “dude, you really are the cooler version of Raph— ow!”
“Oh yeah? I don’t know his Mikey, but I think I like them better,” Raphael huffed, keeping the orange turtle in a headlock.
“Everyone likes Mikey,” Raph said distractedly, still trying to understand what was off with his ninpo. He felt… he felt the connection with his family like a tightly pulled string. Like they were just at the edge of being forever out of reach—
No, no, no, don’t go down that alley. You’re not alone. Mind Raph whispered reassuringly over his shoulder.
He took a deep breath, letting go of the remnants of tension in a slow exhale.
“Anata wa hitori ja nai,” he whispered to himself and tried again.
The red ninpo did materialize this time, covering his fists and up to his edged elbows. It was taking all his energy to just cover that much, he didn’t think he would be able to make it grow over his whole body, or have a larger, building-size projection step up like he was used to. He was hesitant to try out the clones... this was worrisome—
“Do you smell something?” Not his fear stink!
“THAT’S COOLER THAN ZAPPING PEOPLE!” Mikey escaped from his brother’s headlock with astounding ease, sliding between the other turtles to pull down at one of Raph's hands. “I can touch it! It’s real!”
“It’s— of course it’s real. So, uh, this is my ninpo… and Leo’s can open portals by slashing the air. He can also teleport to where the second sword is after he throws it— “
“He throws his weapon,” this version of Leo looked scandalized by the mere notion.
“That’s what you focus on? Seriously?” Raphael punched Leo’s shoulder as if to make him focus.
“This is weird,” Donnie had taken hostage a hold of his remaining free arm, turning it this way and that to poke at it with various instruments, some of which Raph couldn’t even name, as he tried to pierce it.
“Can you at least aim at my fingers? If that goes through it’s gonna break my wrist,” Raph asked urgently, flinching away from the purple turtle.
“What?” Donnie halted, looked at where the end of the drill was headed to, and let the machine down with a sheepish grin. “Right, sorry. So… what can pierce through this?”
Raph’s mind immediately went to Shredder. To the vivid feeling of having his arms ripped off, the sensation of claws digging into his plastron as he was pulled apart, torn in two right by the middle—
“You cold?” Mikey asked, patting his shivering arm with a worried frown. Raph felt a sense of deja vu.
“It’s— fine. It’s fine, fine, fine,” Raph said to himself, taking deep breaths again before turning towards a patiently-waiting Donnie, “my ninpo is very resistant, but I can’t keep it active for long so I just use it when needed. Not for the whole fight.”
“Hmm... so the enemy has never gotten through it?”
“Donnie!” Leo scolded in a whisper.
Raph flinched at the question, the red energy dissipating from his arms. “Just… once. Just once,” and that was more than enough.
The purple turtle seemed to finally notice the change in demeanor, because he didn’t press more than that.
“Ok, so coming back to the whole gate thing,” Leo called, which made Raph sigh in relief. A break from all the attention was welcome. “If their side was opened with… their Ninpo, and ours with Donnie’s tech, we just need to replicate that to send him back home. Right?”
“Uhm,” Donnie looked at his desk, a dark scorch mark adorning the middle of it. “I’d have to rebuild it from scratch… but what worries me is the second half of the equation. How do we know if alternate Leo is opening a portal or not?”
“I don’t know,” Raph admitted when four set of eyes settled on him. “I don’t… have a way to know that.”
“Were you guys aware of other dimensions existing?” Donnie asked. Raph shook his head negatively. “Then your Donnie won’t know where to look either. Hmmm…”
“Hey Spiky Raph,” Mikey called, “you said your Donnie is a genius inventor too, right?
“Spiky Raph?”
“Well, you’re a Raph and you’re spiky—”
“Ok, ok,” Raph accepted with a raised palm, knowing better than to discuss with the youngest, “and yeah, my Donnie is a genius.”
“Ours is too! So don’t worry, I’m sure both Donnies will figure it out,” Mikey reassured with a bright grin, pulling at his arm insistently. “More importantly, you need to meet Master Splinter if you’re staying with us, so come on!”
Donnie looked upset, but sighed the emotion away before Raph could ask. “Yeah, this is gonna take a while. Let’s introduce you two.”
How much time is a while? Raph wanted to ask, but something in Donnie’s expression stopped him. He bit his cheek to keep the question trapped, the taste of copper rolling on his mouth.
“Come on, we’ll get it sorted out,” Leo added comfortingly, probably taking pity on his visibly-troubled stance. Raph sighed through the nose and gave him a weak, but grateful smile.
“Let’s get this over with,” Raphael grumbled, already walking through the door, “just don’t come close to me. You stink.”
Raph huffed. He had been fighting, had a building almost collapse over his head, and then was terrified at the concept of being separated from his family. It was not his fault.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t true though.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take a bath right after,” Raph waved dismissively at his counterpart’s back, “and… thank you all. For helping me, I mean.”
The last sentence was more soft spoken. Mikey tugged at his wrist. “It’ll be alright Spiky Raph, you’ll get back to your family in no time! Right Donnie?”
“Uh-huh,” the purple-clad turtle turned away from them, “it’s getting late, we better hurry.”
Raph felt a sharp tug at his lungs, a pressure at his chest that grew heavy for a short moment before he forced it down. Deep breaths…
He… he was going to go back home. His family was going to be safe in that lapse of time, even without him.
He was going to see his brothers again. He was going to.
The alternative was too painful to even consider.
Notes:
Don't be scared by the Cover, this work is as fluffy as the tags say! It just also contains a healthy dose of angst at times <3 Tumblr post of the cover I posted in here with her permission but please go give love to the artist! <3
FANART
A COMIC! OF THE FIRST CHAPTER!and Colored pages of Ch1 COMIC and also Ch1, Raph's landing!Also, and without any major spoilers!
This is the 12-18 Raphs' relationship without spoilers + fluffy dumbass energy ksksksLook at this beautiful fanart with no major spoilers I love their expressions so much, little baby Raph breaks my heart everytime QuQ
Look at this wonderful fanart that perfectly pictures the sibling dynamics in this fic kskskks I love it so much, Raph with his new set of brothers.
We also have the perfect summary for the first half of this fic! kskskks I can’t with their expressions.
AN
*Slaps fic* these babies can fit so much projection. I love Raph, family tropes, and fluff and angst 🥰This fic will end within 2012 S1 period of time. I'm also taking liberties with certain things, obviously (there were some scenes where certain characters were done a disservice by the 2012 writers, April and Splinter to name a few).
Thanks for reading, see ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter Text
Unfamiliar Familiarity
(5.1K words)
There was one word Raph would never have used to describe Splinter, and that was—
“Tall,” he muttered on autopilot, before grinning sheepishly. “I mean, um, taller. Than I’m used to. Back at home, I mean…” he clicked his jaw shut, embarrassed.
Their Splinter looked more… formal? Proper? He wasn’t sure how to describe him, but the surprisingly tall rat mutant had an aura around him that was more sensei-like, if such a thing made sense. From his posture and clothing to his paused voice and general alertness; Raph was having a hard time trying to process that the Splinter in front of him was his dad’s alternate version.
“I could say the same,” Splinter looked more amused than offended, at least, giving Raph a short smile before turning towards the purple turtle. “Donatello?”
“Why do you automatically assume it was—?”
“Donatello.”
“ — me, yeah, it was me,” Donnie sighed in defeat. Leo pushed him forward, and Donnie turned to give him a short glare before facing his father again. “I swear, it was an accident.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Splinter nodded, hands clasped behind his back. He still sounded calm. Too calm. Were they not disturbing his commercial-time…?
Raph’s train of thought was interrupted by Donnie, as the tallest of the four brothers — and wasn’t that a weird thought — explained what he had been trying to do, and the gate that resulted from his invention. The way Raph had crashed face-first in his lab, was it really necessary to mention that detail, and the “welcoming” he got from the four turtles, before moving on to the superficial explanation Raph had provided about his own ninpo and Leo’s portals.
Splinter, who had been stroking his beard with calm interest, halted mid-motion, ears twitching forward.
“Ninpo, you say?”
“Yes, sensei.”
Sensei? Why call him Sensei when they’re not training?
“That’s intriguing. Spiky Raph, can you demonstrate?” the rat mutant adopted Mikey’s nickname easily enough. It was a weird contrast with his seemingly proper standing.
“Um, sure,” Raph took the sais out again, clenching his fists to summon the red energy. Just like before, it covered his hands and up to his elbows.
Splinter tilted his head in a very rat-like fashion, leaning forward with a hum. “Can you still feel sensations when this is active?”
“I can, uh, feel the pressure…? The weight of the stuff I carry is hard to pinpoint sometimes, and the sensation when I punch things is kinda numb. I know when I’m hitting the mark, but I don’t really feel how hard I’m hittin', so I keep an eye on the bad guy to check if I’m not hurting ‘em too badly. And when I block an attack with my ninpo the pain is numb too, but still there, so I know I got hit, there’s just no marks or anything on my body afterwards. Donnie— my Donnie, says it absorbs the damage for me.”
His brother had said that, along with a bunch of other stuff Raph hadn’t really wrapped his head around. Honestly, he hadn't seen the need to. He used his ninpo all the time, he lived through everything Donnie was describing, so why did he have to learn to put it into words? It wasn’t necessary.
At least, not until now.
“You’re a brawler, then?”
“I guess so? Leo— my Leo, ugh this is weird,” Raph huffed and rubbed the back of his head, “my brother said I’m the ‘tank’ of the team, whatever that means. He’s been using weird words ever since he started to play that one video game, and I don’t really get it, but his strategy is improving with it so that’s good…?”
Half of him still thought that was Pops’ way to get out of leadership-training when he wanted a break, but Donnie had said the “games of role” were a good way to practice strategy and leading, for some reason. Raph had dropped the topic soon after that, accepting the twins knew more about those complicated games than he did. He was still undisputed king at Smash Bros anyway—
A tap at the floor interrupted his musings, and only then did Raph notice the cane.
“You’re getting sidetracked,” Splinter said, and there was something in his voice that Raph couldn’t pinpoint, but made him straighten up all the same, “perhaps a demonstration would be easier…”
The rat mutant turned around, walking towards a set of sliding doors. The smaller turtles followed, so Raph dissipated his ninpo and tucked his weapons back on his belt, trailing behind them.
He could see a tree — how did one grow in the sewers? — and what appeared to be a training room, but without any gym equipment. A dojo.
Raph stood by the door, hovering indecisively.
“Come in.” It was not a question. Raph found his feet moving forward on autopilot, following Splinter’s instruction in the same steely manner he had back when he was still a toddler being trained by Draxum—
No, no, don’t think about that. Focus. Mind Raph caught him before he could take an unwilling trip down memory lane, and Raph took a deep breath to calm down.
The family looked curiously at him, but thankfully didn’t mention it.
“What are we doing here?” Raph asked tentatively, not really wanting to know.
“A match should provide a faster and more accurate explanation for what you can do,” Splinter said with a small nod.
“A match!?” Raph shook his head, waving his hands in front of him while taking a step back. “No, no, we don’t— we don’t practice our ninpo against each other, we do that separately. ”
The one time they tried Mikey had been close to accidentally burning Raph, since his red protective projection hadn’t materialized on time. After that they had agreed to practice separately or in team-ups against dummies, and this had remained unchanged even after they stopped struggling with their ninpo’s activation.
“So you think we’re weak because we don’t have those stupid magic things?” Raphael accused with a pointed sai, stepping closer to him.
“What? No, that’s not—”
“Because I can prove you wrong here and now!”
Raph glanced at Splinter for help, but he just stood there and didn’t interfere, why!?
“Um, you don’t need to prove—”
“Take a stance, come on!”
“ — anythiiiiing!” Raph squeaked, jumping away from the stabbing attempt — why was mini-Raph using the sais like daggers?! Against an unarmed opponent, he should protect his fists — and pointedly kept his own weapons tucked in his belt because he was not using his ninpo.
But he wasn’t going to let the other stab him either. Raph hopped backward, putting some distance between them, and when the smaller turtle predictably rushed forward to follow Raph got a hold of the attacking arm and twisted it, using his larger weight to pin him down. Ghostbear may be a bad guy, but his wrestling was still awesome to watch and imitate!
Had it been one of his brothers this would have been the end of it, but the red-clad turtle used his free hand to slash blindly behind him, and Raph had to move away to avoid it.
“Hey careful, that almost—” Raph evaded the next attack, and got a scratch at the arm when he instinctively punched the smaller turtle away from him.
He had panicked for a second, putting too much weight behind the move, because Raphael slammed against the tree with a pained “ouph” and stayed on a knee, taking a breath instead of immediately resuming the encounter.
“So this is how Raph dies,” Donnie looked mildly concerned.
“He died like he lived. Angry,” Leo added from the sidelines with an unimpressed look, arms crossed.
“You can do it Raph!” Mikey yelled, before turning to his brothers and saying, “I don’t think he can do it, guys.”
The commentary just served to spike Raphael’s anger more, who stood up again with a growl. Relatable, but also not helping Raph’s situation here.
He moved backwards to put more distance between them, eyes darting around the room to try to find something that could— YES!
“A ladder!”
“A ladder?” Raphael grunted, actually perplexed enough to halt for a moment.
“Sensei asked me to change the bulb,” Donnie commented unprompted at the same time as Raph grabbed the ladder and spun it around triumphantly.
“Like Lou Jitsu’s comic, Little Jacob’s Ladder! ”
“A comic— no way you’re as nerdy as Lame-o-nardo.”
“Rude!”
“Now if I had fish it would be great, like in the movie, 1 Fish, 2 Fish, Red Fish, Dead Fish!” Raph continued without pause, spinning the ladder low to try to trip the smaller turtle, who just jumped up to avoid being swept off his feet.
Raphael landed and raised his sais defensively.
“But this will do, so come on!” Raph was the one to charge forward now.
“What the shell—”
“HOT SOUUUUP!”
“WHAT THE SHELL!”
…
…
…
Perhaps he had gotten too into it.
“Ah-hah, sorry,” Raph grinned sheepishly, “I’ll let you out if you stop trying to fight me, yeah?”
At some point, the other turtle had been temporarily stuck between the steps of the ladder, the head and one arm trapped on one side of it. Raphael had gotten inside his own shell to try to free himself — Raph had felt a familiar pang of jealousy at the sight. He had always wanted to be able to hide like that — and was successful, but Raph had immediately grabbed him by the middle and slammed him upside down, so the head couldn’t get out of the shell again.
There was a muffled cry of something that was remarkably not PG-13.
“Language,” Raph and Leo scolded at the same time. They exchanged a surprised glance.
“Yame,” Splinter said at last, tapping the end of the cane once. Raph looked oddly at him.
“It means the match is over,” Mikey said in a loud whisper, approaching with a playful grin. Raph nodded at him and let the smaller turtle fall free.
Raphael immediately popped his head out, cracking his neck with a disgruntled expression.
“You got served dude,” Mikey teased with a giggle, poking at his brother’s face after each word, until Raphael finally snapped and grabbed the offending finger to twist it.
“Ow, ow, I give!”
Raph huffed through his nose and picked them up by the shell to keep them away from each other. These kids really were the same age. Watching them was like watching the disaster twins.
“Let me go, you fu—!”
“A ladder was an interesting choice of weapon,” Splinter said while giving a warning look to Raphael, who gave an angry scoff and crossed his arms, but remained silent. Raph let the two brothers down. “I must admit I have yet to train my students on adapting to their surroundings and opponents, using other weapons. For how long have you been training on this?”
“Training… you mean imitating the movies? We’ve done that since we were tots!” Raph grinned at the memory of the many marathons they had watched, one of the few activities they could do together with their dad back then. “Pops would sometimes step in to correct our posture and ensure we didn’t accidentally hurt ourselves, but other than that he just let us play.”
Long ears twitched forward in what Raph assumed was surprise, silently mouthing ‘Pops’ before the rat mutant blinked away from his reverie. “No, I was not asking about playtime. For how long have you been formally training?”
“How long…” Raph’s mind went back to Draxum’s lab, to the training he had gone through to be a good soldier. He had been five years old when his dad finally crashed the place, rescuing him and his baby bros in the process.
But no, that didn’t count. Raph refused to acknowledge it.
“Um, I’ve been training for the last eight years, I think?” he grabbed at his chin, recalling happier moments. “I was around twelve when I started going up solo more often, and dad wanted to make sure I could defend myself if I needed to. My brothers wanted in since they saw me training and thought it looked cool, so we started at the same time. They were… eight and seven, respectively.”
Splinter gave a noncommittal hum, ears lowering backwards. “How… interesting. You’re twenty years old, then?”
“Yeah.”
“That explains some things,” Splinter glanced at the still-fuming Raphael, who was still being mercilessly teased by his siblings.
Disaster quadruplets. The mere concept sent a shiver down Raph’s spine; he almost pitied this version of Splinter, who didn’t seem to have had any help whatsoever in raising four same-aged kids.
The rat mutant tapped the floor a couple of times to call for attention, and the teasing stopped. “All of you, get ready for round two.”
“Four against one?” Leo asked with a frown.
“And this is how we die,” Donnie sounded resigned as he spun around his bo staff.
“I’m not going to—” Raph started to complain, but a clawed palm interrupted him.
“Defense. You can use your ninpo for defense only,” Splinter instructed serenely, which was still a weird contrast to the exasperated yelling his dad favored during training. “That should be safe enough for an introductory spar, correct?”
“A-alright,” Raph conceded with a tentative nod, picking up the ladder to have it rest against a wall. “Then it’s a time-based match or…?”
“Yame means halt. Hajime means start,” Splinter said simply, walking away with his hands clasped behind him, back straight as a board. Raph still thought this version was entirely too proper to be an alternate of his often-falling-asleep-over-popcorn-with-the-tv-on pops.
“On the ready.”
Raph eyed the opponents surrounding him and called forward his ninpo, raising his arms to protect the lower part of his face.
“Hajime!”
Defense. Only defense. He repeated the words in his head like a mantra, focusing on parrying away the slicing and piercing weapons more than he did on blocking the nunchaku and bo staff. He could afford a hit to the shell every now and then.
They were better than his brothers in physical training, that much was certain. They had faster reactions, with a lot less stumbling. His brothers usually tripped on thin air and rolled around to barely evade his counters, but these four were actively jumping away from his strikes—
...he was going on the offensive too.
Raph grinned fiercely. This wasn’t too bad! He was starting to warm up, blocking their attacks to get a glimpse of their strength and estimate their resistance, inwardly calculating how much he had to hold back his counters to avoid hurting them—
“Dude, what happened to defense only?!” Mikey screeched when Raph caught one end of the nunchaku and swung it down so the orange turtle slammed against Leo.
“It's ok, Raph's got this!"
Someone groaned behind him. "What kind of dumbass speaks in third person—”
Raph swung around with a leg extended, but Raphael and Donnie had already moved out of reach.
“Raph’s not dumb,” he defended, and his smaller version looked like he was torn between pitying him and wanting to murder him.
“Honestly, why?!" he quickly settled on the latter.
"Uh," because his brothers had taken two years to start speaking, Splinter had only ever called him Red, and he hadn't wanted to forget his own name. His own identity. "Bad habit? Now that you mention it, it’s gonna get confusing pretty soon. How should I call you, mini-me?"
“Call me Mini-me one more time and I’ll crack your shell open with my bare hands.”
“Ok, so that’s a no-go,” Raph nodded, grabbing the end of the bo staff that tried to get him at the head—
And that apparently had a blade hidden inside. Raph was very thankful for his ninpo, otherwise that would have sliced his palm open. As it was, he could pull at the staff without pause until Donnie was at grabbing distance, and pinned him down with one glowing hand while the other threw the bo staff away.
“Shoot, I give! Don’t crush me!” What?
“Yame!” Splinter called the match over, which was a good thing because Raph had dropped his ninpo as soon as Donnie had cried.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much pressure? Too heavy? Where does it hurt?” Raph frenzied worriedly around the purple-clad turtle, hands hovering uselessly in the way Leo often described as ‘the step right before motherhenning.’
“I’m fine, it’s fine Spiky Raph,” Donnie pushed his hands away, still trying to catch his breath. “I just need some space to breathe, ok?”
“Ok, ok, just breathe,” Raph nodded agitatedly, taking a step back, “but does it hurt? Anywhere? Do you need the first aid kit—”
“Calm down,” Splinter raised a hand to pat his shoulder. It was still weird as heck to see he could reach his shoulder. “No one is hurt. Breathe.”
“Breathe, Raph’s breathing,” he panted rapidly and, ok, maybe he was more agitated than he should be. He took a deep breath, unconsciously imitating the rhythm Splinter was using, one pink clawed hand going up and down everytime he inhaled and exhaled.
“Repeat after me: Everyone is fine.”
“Everyone is… fine.”
“No one is hurt.”
“No one is hurt…” Raph finally felt the remains of tension dissipate, and suddenly he felt beyond exhausted. “Thank you, um, what should I call you…?”
“Master Splinter should do.”
“Ok. Thank you Master Splinter,” Raph nodded with gratitude, body swaying in place as he tried not to crash down. “I think, I think I’m… tired.”
“I can see that,” Splinter chuckled before turning to face his sons. “Leonardo, Donatello, help him get to the unoccupied room. Michelangelo, see if we have any pillows and blankets we can lend him.”
Mikey nodded and jogged out of the room, still as energetic as ever. Leo and Donnie hovered at his sides, slowly nudging him towards the door.
“Raphael, stay behind for a moment,” Splinter called before the red-clad turtle could escape the dojo, and the teen huffed and glared at the floor, but stayed rooted in place.
By the time Raph finally reached the empty room, he was so tired he could probably sleep off for an entire day. He was barely coherent enough to grab the pillow Mikey handed over, and drowned out the apologies at the lack of blankets as he collapsed over his plastron and closed his eyes, mildly taking note of the sound of footsteps leaving the room. He was alone now.
Raph was tired. The day had been exhausting, all the way from the emotional conversation he had with Leon in the morning, to the mess of the mission that followed, and the familiar unfamiliarity of everything in this place.
He was tired.
Beyond tired.
So why couldn’t he sleep?
Raph huffed and turned, trying to get comfortable on the hard concrete. He did this again and again, but after what felt like hours he grunted and finally gave up, blinking his eyes open to stare at the ceiling with a frustrated frown.
He wanted his teddies. Donnie's specially-made weighted blanket…
He wanted to go grab his family and have a turtle pile. To see them and hug them and have the added weight reassure him that they were fine, everyone was fine, his family was fine.
The room he was staying in was empty and barren, the walls a dull gray of unpainted concrete, and suddenly he was five again, waiting for Draxum to call for his “fighting exercise” to begin. He hated hurting things, but he had to hurt things to get food, to survive—
He shivered and curled into a ball, tail wrapping around his knees. You’re not a war machine Raph, you’re your own person now. You’re a son, a brother, a protector!
Raph nodded at Mind Raph’s words, trying to calm down, but then a drop of water fell over his head, and suddenly he was nine again, lost in the sewers for days when he tried to reach the surface on his own, and he was alone, alone, forever alone.
A deep rumbling sound echoed in the empty and lifeless room, and Raph sharply sat up because that angry growl had come from him and nope, no, he was not getting weird while in here. The last thing he needed was to have a Savage episode when he was away from his brothers. He didn't want to cause troubles to the family hosting him.
He scrubbed at his face harshly and stood up, hugging his one pillow close to his chest — the closest thing to a plushie he had here — and paddled silently outside the improvised room. He needed company… and although Mikey was the most likely to agree to an impromptu sleepover, the youngest was also the one that seemed to tease his siblings the most.
Raph knew better than to assume his situation would not be mentioned to their Raphael.
Thus, his feet brought him to the entrance of the garage.
"Donnie?" Raph called softly with a tentative knock.
" — stronger material may — huh?" True to expectations, this Donnie didn't have good sleeping habits either. The murmurs halted, along with the welding as the purple-clad turtle turned to face him without bothering to lift the welding mask. "What's up? I'm kinda busy."
"I know, sorry, I just… um” Raph tapped his fingers sheepishly, “Donnie, you— you are aware that your brother and I are different, right? That we're our own person?"
"...yes?" Donnie lifted the protective mask, red eyes looking confusedly at him. "So?"
"So you wouldn't tease your Raph for something I do or say, right?"
Donnie made a long-drawn “aaahh” of understanding, and let his tools down to wave him inside the garage. "If it worries you then no, I won't tease Raph. Come in, what do you need me to fix?"
Raph's gaze softened. Were all Donnies weightened with the responsibility of fixing things for their family?
"No fixing, just… do you mind if I stay? I'll be silent, in a corner, and won't move or take up much space," he hurried to add, listing all the things he knew bothered his own brother when the genius was working on something. "I just can't— I don't want to be alone. Please."
"Wow, I almost want to ask if you're really a Raph," Donnie snickered, but waved him closer all the same. "No problem, just don't interrupt me and we're good. You can sit on the— no, wait, I don’t think the chair will support your weight. Um…."
"Thanks Donnie, the floor is fine," Raph nodded gratefully, sitting on the floor close enough to be able to listen to the soft mutters, but not so much as to be on the way.
“Are you sure? That can’t be comfortable.”
“I’m fine, I just need the pillow,” Raph reassured, squeezing the soft material.
Donnie gave him a worried frown, but ultimately shrugged when Raph didn’t back down, and went back to working on… whatever thing was over the desk.
As the time passed Raph’s eyes got heavier, so he ended up laying down on his stomach with the pillow under his chin, tail curling around him as he listened to the sound of metal clinging against metal, and the murmurs of explanations that he wouldn’t be able to understand even if he was fully awake. Donnie was really smart, a constant no matter the dimension…
...
...
...
“What the shell, Donnie?” a whispered reprimand. Leo’s voice?
“I'm not damaging it or anything, I'm just looking at its structure!" Donnie whispered back, and Raph absently took note of the additional weight on his back.
“Did you seriously ask Spiky Raph to sleep here just so you could study him?”
“I’m not answering that question,” Donnie huffed. “Come on, you can't tell me you're not curious."
A short pause of silence.
"...are they really as pointy as they look?"
Raph's mouth twitched into a smile before he forced his face to relax again, letting the two smaller turtles poke at his shell curiously.
"Can you imagine if our Raph had this kind of shell?” Donnie sounded both, entertained and terrified by the idea.
"Pshh, he would try to pluck someone's eye out, just to see if he can."
"Even worse, he probably would be successful.”
The siblings chuckled softly, still trying to be discrete. Raph smiled to himself again, eyes still closed as the tip of his tail wagged discreetely.
“Guys!” Mikey greeted loudly from somewhere farther away, probably the lab’s entrance.
“Shhh!”
“Guys,” Mikey repeated in a loud whisper, the sound of light steps coming closer to them, “what are you doing?”
“Nothing,” Leo answered a bit too fast, just like Raph’s own Leon when he was trying to hide something. That mischievous kid…
“Studying the shell’s structure. Apparently, the nerve receptors are more exposed than the ones on our own shells—”
“Uh, in English?”
A tired sigh. “He can feel more stuff on his shell than we do. I suggest you don’t stab this one, Leo.”
“It was an accident,” Leo groaned, and Raph could practically see him roll his eyes.
“Ohhh, so that’s why he’s awake now, he can feel you over there!” Mikey said brightly, and not a second later the weight over his shell was no more.
“He’s awake?” Leo sounded almost afraid.
“ ...since when?” Donnie just sounded startled. Still, the way they complimented each other’s phrases reminded Raph of the twins; maybe they weren’t so different after all.
“I don’t mind,” Raph said, opening a single eye drowsily, “it’s fine.”
Leo laughed awkwardly. “Uh, sorry?”
“Then I can crawl up, right?” Mikey was unfazed. Raph gave the youngest and agreeing hum, and the weight of a smaller turtle returned.
“Mikey, be careful not to—”
“Ow, these are really sharp!” he must have placed his finger on his mouth, because the next words sounded weird. “It looks cool though. And like, kind of intimidating. You know what you need, Spiky Raph?”
“Hmm?”
“Stickers! Oh, oh, or paint, I think I can draw a labyrinth— one leading to pizza! The world’s greatest pizza, at the end of the Maze of Death~ Survive the spiky stuff and become a champ— woah, ” the weight over his shell was removed. Raph opened an eye to see Donnie pulling Mikey down by one arm.
“Stop poking at them, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”
“Also, do you want to die?!” Leo whispered loudly, sneaking a concerned glance at him. Did he think Mikey had offended him?
Raph moved too-stiff limbs to stand up, noticed Leo tensing, and halted midway so he was just sitting cross-legged, still blinking away the remnants of sleep.
“I wouldn’t mind,” Raph admitted to Leo, who looked more weirded out than relieved, for some reason.
“Really?! Then wait here and I—”
“Wait, there’s something else I wanted to ask you,” Raph added, instinctively grabbing the smallest turtle with one arm when Mikey predictably tried to run out of the room to grab his things. The youngest looked at him with startled curiosity, so Raph gestured with his head towards Donnie’s wall.
More specifically, the one that was adorned with a collection of family photos.
“My room feels kind of… empty. Do you think we could make some drawings to stick to the walls?”
Mikey just stared.
“Um, only if you can, of course,” Raph scratched the back of his neck and looked away from all three siblings, “I’m just asking since I’m not that good at drawing, my hands are kinda big for most of the paper, and— and I don’t want to paint the walls because this is just temporary, and you guys should be able to have that room back in the same state you lended it—”
“You want to hang up my drawings?” the orange ball of energy sounded oddly soft, so Raph looked down with a concerned frown, but by then Mikey was already grinning wide and vibrating on the spot with barely-contained excitement. “What am I saying, of course you do! Come on, you can tell me what you want and I’ll help you draw it, and—!”
“Mikey,” Leo was the one to interrupt now, a small smile in place. “Breakfast first.”
“Oh right, right. Spiky Raph, what’s your favorite? I can mix candy and pizza and—”
Candy and pizza sounded like an unholy combination that shouldn’t even be in the same sentence, let alone the same dish. Raph grimaced and looked at the two siblings for help.
“Alligator snapping turtles have some meat on their diet, so maybe a pepperoni one?” Donnie thankfully interceded. Leo just seemed to be silently laughing at his scandalized expression.
Some things never changed, no matter the dimension.
“I can do that!” Mikey nodded and scrambled out of the room with scary velocity, “I’ll call you when ready!”
And just like that, Raph was alone with the twins again — no, wait, weren’t all four of them the same age? Quadruplets…
Raph shivered, inwardly thankful that he had arrived here when they were in their teens and not still unruly children.
“Thanks for humoring him,” Leo nodded once in his direction before starting to walk out the room.
“Humoring…?”
“Since you’re awake, can I take a look at your ninpo while we wait for breakfast? I want to see if the energy is— ” the genius went on an excited rant of things Raph didn't fully understand.
The tooth gap reminded him of his little brother, who had had that exact same gap when he was eight or nine. Raph smiled, nodding here and there everytime Donnie paused in his speech to take a breath.
“— and… you’re not understanding a thing, are you?” Donnie groaned.
“Something about the source and its relation to the dimension I come from,” Raph shrugged with one shoulder, “but the actual process went over my head, sorry.”
“Huh. That’s not too bad,” Donnie smiled again, and gestured for him to walk over the still scorch-marked table. Raph dutifully called for the red energy when instructed, and let the scientist do… whatever those things were supposed to do. The tech didn’t look as advanced as he was used to, but it was still way above his area of expertise. He could break these things, not make them.
And when the pizza was finally ready and Mikey ran into the lab, inexpertly climbing up his shell until he was perched at his shoulder — all the while ignoring Donnie’s worried reprimands over newly-gained scratches — Raph chuckled to himself.
Some things never changed.
“Thank you,” Raph nudged at Mikey with his head, feeling less like a stranger, less alone.
“For making breakfast? Always happy to help, bro!”
Yeah, some things really never changed.
Notes:
The ladder fight, now in color! this scene was so much fun to write kskkss I love them bringing it to life!
As you can see, Rise!characters have different ages and background than canon. Fair warning, my writing is usually 80% interactions, 10% fluff and angst, and 10% plot. There’s not going to be a physical description of fights in a way an action-based fic may have. That said, hope you enjoyed the chapter! I certainly had fun writing it~
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter Text
Introducing Savage
(5.4K words)
Turns out, breakfast time was 3:30 pm.
“I— I overslept that much?” Raph asked, the excess of cheese sliding down from his pizza slice with an incredulous splat.
“Nah, this is early for us. We usually wake up around 4pm,” Mikey waved like that was supposed to reassure him.
Raph looked at the other two turtles, just to see if Mikey was pulling his leg, but none of the siblings looked amused or mischievous.
This family was fully nocturnal then. Raph would have to adapt to the new schedule.
“Anyways, we gotta make a list of the stuff you’ll need so we can start looking for it, like a bigger chair so you can sit down and eat with us,” Mikey nodded to himself, taking a notebook out of who-knows-where to scribble down. “Blankets, pillows… we can start tonight, right Leo?”
“Hm?” Leo was caught mid-bite, but ultimately nodded. “I guess we can postpone the patrol for today.”
“Patrol? You guys patrol regularly?” When his brothers were their age they had preferred to do their own things, so Raph had done most of the ‘patrolling’.
“Of course we do, we need to keep an eye out for the Krang,” Donnie seemed worried about it. This was the second time Raph heard that word, but he still had no idea what it meant.
“About that, what’s the Krank?”
“They’re identical robot guys with brain-like aliens in their belly!” Mikey exclaimed with wiggling fingers, as if he were storytelling a horror tale.
Raph grimaced at the mental picture. “That sounds gross. What are aliens doing in New York to begin with?”
“...you actually believe me?”
“Uh, were you kidding?” Maybe it was a local joke he wasn’t aware of? Aliens hadn’t sounded too weird considering the Hidden City existed under his NYC. “To be honest the word means nothing to me. I don’t have any… Kranks , in my world.”
“Krangs,” Donnie corrected without looking up from a shell-shaped phone. Aww, that was a cute design!
“No, I was not kidding,” Mikey grinned up at him, before standing up from the table to gesture in his direction with wildly waving arms. “You heard that guys? Spiky Raph believed me! On the first try!”
“Yeah, because he doesn’t know any better,” Leo snorted with a pointed look at Mikey before turning to face Raph. “Mikey is our resident prankster; you’ve been warned.”
“He’s not lying about the Krang though—”
“I already said I wasn’t joking!” the little guy seemed bothered, so Raph patted his back by reflex.
“— as weird as the mental image must be for you, they’re aliens of this size,” Donnie gestured with his hands, “pink and brain-shaped, that manipulate human-looking robots from the place the stomach would be. They look like… this, here.”
Donnie passed him the shell-phone, and Raph looked at the inexpressive man in suit, who looked bored beyond life and existence itself.
“Noted,” Raph nodded seriously, before smiling at the scientist. “These phones were made by you, right? I like the design: Shell-phones!”
Donnie made an awkward but pleasantly surprised noise, giving him a guarded smile. “Thanks, we call them Tphones. I should… probably make you one…”
He didn’t look too excited about the idea.
“No, no, I already have a phone,” Raph took out his mobile from the special compartment Donnie had designed in all their belts, handing it over. “ If you could just connect me to this world’s signal…?”
“Oh,” Donnie accepted the phone with a relieved smile, “yeah, that’s easy.”
“I named them Tphones!” Mikey pointed at himself with a proud grin, and Raph chuckled and patted his back again.
“Great naming skills, Mikey.”
The youngest turtle placed both hands on his hips and nodded.
“I was actually the one who—”
“Is Raphael still sleeping?” Splinter interrupted Donnie as he stepped into the kitchen, looking around the room with a neutral expression.
“Yeah,” Leo frowned, looking in the direction Raph assumed was mini-Raph’s room. “It’s kinda weird. Let me go fetch him.”
“No, you can stay Leonardo,” Splinter said with a raised palm. “I will go.”
The smaller turtles followed Splinter with their gaze as the rat mutant left the kitchen.
“Oohhh, someone is in trouble,” Mikey snickered behind his hand, before frowning confusedly. “What did he do this time, though?”
Leo shrugged. Donnie didn’t seem to be listening anymore, frowning at the screen of his Tphone. “There’s an unusual reading… I better go, I think it’s gonna blow up the lab.”
“It’s gonna what,” Raph followed a retreating Donnie with his gaze, but no one else seemed concerned.
“Don’t let it blow up, Donnie!” Mikey called simply, waving goodbye.
“That’s why I’m leaving!” Donnie gave a fed up cry, raising both arms in a frustrated gesture as he jogged towards the lab.
“Shouldn’t we go help?” Raph squeaked worriedly, already stepping forward.
“We would just crowd the lab,” Leo shook his head, extending an arm to block his path. “Besides, if he needed more hands he’d have said so.”
“Your Donnie doesn’t blow stuff in his lab, like, every other week?” Mikey snorted.
“No!?” That sounded incredibly risky! Although Dee had sound-proofed the lab at some point, so Raph supposed the genius could technically blow up things every night without any of them noticing. He should ask him, Dee was terrible at lying—
“Sounds peaceful,” Leo huffed, amused.
“Either way, let’s go to your room so we can adorn it!” Mikey scurried in the opposite direction though, gesturing for him to follow. “Help me carry the things, yeah?”
“Sure…” Raph gave one last worried glance in the lab’s direction before following the smallest turtle.
The room was a mess of scattered items, a mix of empty pizza boxes and dirty disposable cups over a crowded table, an old tv, paint, crayons, posters and a cardboard figure of a man with crossed arms that Raph assumed was some sort of celebrity.
He instantly loved it. It looked warm and lived-in, in a way his own room did not. With some luck, his temporary place would end up looking more like this— ohh.
“A hammock instead of a bed,” Raph raised a finger to pull at the fabric, watching it swing. His brothers would absolutely love this.
“It’s good for sleeping on the shell, and easier to get to the sewers than an actual mattress.”
Raph sighed dreamily. If his shell didn’t have spikes… then maybe he could have nice things like these. As it was, it took a single instance of moving too much in his sleep for Raph to turn to shreds whatever happened to be around him: pillows, blankets, the plushies. Dr. Huggenstein, one of the few teddies that had survived Shredder’s complete destruction of the old lair, had acquired some battle scars over the years as well.
“We can search for something like this tonight, when we go out,” Mikey assured, handing over a bunch of paper.
“I don’t… my spikes would destroy it Mikey,” Raph smiled sadly, “and I’m probably too heavy for this anyway. Thanks though.”
“Oh, right,” Mikey leaned to one side to look at his shell with a frown. “How do you usually sleep?”
“Donnie— my Donnie, ugh,” Raph passed his free hand over his face. “You know what, I’m gonna call my brother Dee from this point on. Dee made me a King-size squishy thingy; kinda like a water bed or memory foam, but made of stuff that’s more like non-sticky clay.”
“That sounds so cool!”
“Right!? He’s an absolute genius, I didn’t even ask for it, he just… made it.” Emotionless bad boy his spikes. Donnie was one of the most thoughtful people he knew.
“Maybe our Donnie could do something like that?”
Raph shook his head. “I don’t wanna— he’s already got a lot of things going on, the last thing he needs is having more work added to the pile.”
“But that’s the way he handles stress. He just… builds stuff, one project after the other.”
“Yeah, Dee is the same,” Raph said fondly. “When he’s too immersed in it we take turns in making him take breaks to sleep and eat.”
“You actually succeed at that?” Mikey looked surprised. “Whenever me and Leo try we get yelled at and kicked out. Raph and Master Splinter are the only ones that sometimes can snap him out of it with threats and lectures, but it doesn't always work. He gets in a mood when he spends too long without sleeping.”
Raph nodded. Dee could get pretty cranky as well. “We went through a lot of trial and error before finding what worked, which also varies depending on who is doing what. Leon somehow manages to convince him that Dee is helping him fall asleep, not the other way around. My Mikey attacks him with puppy eyes and merciless facts about carpal tunnel, sleep deprivation, caffeine after-effects, and so on until Dee gets too anxious to keep working and yields.”
Raph chuckled to himself, accepting the box of crayons and other utensils the orange turtle handed over.
“And yours?”
Raph smiled warmly. “I stand closeby to churr and chirp at him until he relaxes, and starts nodding off. Wait for a bit, then pull him in for a hug. Pats at the shell to sneakily get off the added weight, wait for the eyes to completely close, then carry him to bed and tuck him in. Only in winter though, in summer he can’t stand the covers—”
“That’s— wow,” Mikey interrupted whatever he had originally wanted to say, turning away from him to hop around the room, gathering scattered markers. “What’s a churr and chirp?”
“...you guys don’t make sounds?” Raph frowned at the notion. “Mine have always calmed down my brothers, ever since they were tots. And they communicated their feelings that way before they learned how to speak.”
Dee had his discrete hisses, Leo preferred longer and louder hoots, and Mikey used a mix of chirps and whines that varied in length and frequency.
“Nah, we don’t make turtle noises,” the smaller turtle shrugged without looking at him, “what’s that like?”
“Hmm, I guess is like human exclamations? For us, saying ‘aww’ at an adorable kitty is as natural as.”
Raph gave a short, happy churr.
Mikey turned around with a surprised jerk, the cup full of markers almost falling from his hands. “What was that?”
“A churr?”
“That’s calming?” Mikey squinted at him. “It sounds weird.”
Raph shrugged, accepting the cup of markers that was handed over. “How does it sound to you?”
“I don’t know, just… odd,” Mikey rubbed at his arm uneasily. “ I kinda wanted to hide in my shell.”
Raph frowned at that. “Threatening? It was— it was threatening?”
His whole worldview shook at the revelation. Had his baby bros silenced their cries because they thought a predator was around, and not because they found it calming? Raph had always thought they liked— he had always thought it was— had he been essentially torturing little tots, punishing them for something as natural as crying for food and attention…?
“No, no, it’s just odd to me!” Mikey waved his arms energetically in front of his face. “None of us do that, so I’m just not used to it, that’s all!”
Raph gave a half-hearted shrug, turning away to stare at a rapidly-blurring poster. “Sorry.”
“Oww, you’re not scary Spiky Raph, I’m sorry,” Mikey patted his arm while Raph sniffled. “I’m just stupid, don’t mind me.”
“You’re not stupid,” Raph snarled thorugh the tears, readily grabbing at the first excuse he had to turn anguish into protective anger. Anger was easier to deal with, easier to process, easier to manage. “You— I don’t know you very well yet, but my Mikey— my little bro, my little guy…”
He sniffed, taking a knee so he was at eye-level with the smallest turtle. “He has a level of emotional intelligence I look up to, and you— you have it too, don’t you? That’s why you notice… what people don’t say.”
Mikey surely had noticed Raph’s worry over Donnie’s could-blow-up experiment, and had asked for help with something he didn’t actually need help with, just to distract him. The little box of crayons, the cup of markers, the batch of paper; Mikey could have handled it on his own without issue.
The youngest turtle huffed a shattery laugh. “T-that doesn’t mean I’m not…”
Raph growled in warning, putting a hand over a small shoulder. “No, you are not stupid—"
The sound of rushing steps, along with the growing sense of ill-intent, made Raph instinctively raise an arm to block the side of his face, parrying away a pointed weapon.
“The fuck are you doing to Mikey?!” Raphael yelled.
“Frick, wait—”
“Stay away from him!” whether the order was aimed at Raph or Mikey was unclear. “I knew I didn’t dream it, I knew it!”
“What's that about?” Raph straightened from his kneeling position, angry at the uncalled-for attack.
“Your room is right next to mine,” Raphael snarled, standing between him and Mikey in a defensive position. “I heard your murderous growl yesterday.”
Hot, defensive anger immediately turned into numb, terrifying coldness. Raph choked on thin air, body locking up as all muscles tensed beyond use. Raphael didn’t waste the opportunity—
“Raph, wait!”
— and kicked him hard at the face, with enough force to send Raph tumbling backwards, but even with the addition of physical pain he couldn’t make his body respond.
“Dude, we weren’t fighting!”
“What’s going on here!?” the blue clad turtle yelled from the entrance.
“So I get up at night, see your room empty, and go around the lair trying to find your spiky shell before you can kill my stupid, too trusting brothers—”
“Leo, help!”
“ —and when I finally find you, what do I see? A big monster sleeping on the floor like some sort of pitiful dog. Whatever game you’re playing at— “
“Mikey, are you hurt? Why are you crying?”
“What? No! We weren’t fighting!”
“ — you might as well drop it, because I’m not falling for it.” Raphael ended at last, panting even when he hadn’t made anything too strenuous.
There was a short pause of silence. Raph couldn’t focus on anything other than Raphael, who was still posed to attack, to defend. Ready to protect his brothers from a perceived threat.
Raph almost wished the smaller, angry turtle had been there to protect his little bros back when he was churring at them. Threatening, he had always been threatening them. A monster, a beast made for war, a killing machine looming over little, defenseless tots —
Raphael slowly lowered his weapons. “Are you crying…?”
“WHY DO YOU GUYS NEVER LISTEN TO ME!” Mikey interrupted, jumping to kick at Raphael’s shell from behind until the red-clad turtle fell forward with a surprised grunt.
Mikey stood over the downed turtle and curled on himself, crying angry tears, and it was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Raph shook himself out of his stupor, stepping towards the orange turtle to offer comfort without even bothering to rub away his own tears. “Mikey? What's wrong, little guy?”
“WHAT'S WRONG!” Mikey screeched, and oh, this was the terrible, terrible mix of Dr. Feelings and Dr. Delicate Touch. The persona of Dr. More-than-slightly-disappointed-tsk-tsk-how-could-you. “WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST STAND THERE—”
“Mikey, calm down!” Leo raised an arm, and Raph moved by pure instinct to catch the thinner wrist.
“What— don’t hit him!”
“I just want to calm him down!” Leo struggled, trying to free himself.
“You can’t hit people to calm them down! Where have you ever seen—”
“Yame!” A commanding shout, followed by a hard thud as the end of the cane hit the floor two times. “All of you, stop!”
The whole room froze up, the air tense.
“Spiky Raph, let him go.”
Raph released Leo’s forearm. The blue-clad turtle immediately jerked his arm backwards with a mistrustful frown.
“Michelangelo, step down from Raphael’s shell.”
“But he was—”
“Michelangelo.”
Mikey cried silent tears, trembling with visible frustration for a short moment before he did as told. Raph opened an arm in invitation for a side-way hug, but Mikey scoffed and crossed his arms, essentially hugging himself.
“Raphael, up.”
“...”
“Raphael,” Splinter repeated, gaze hardening. Raph shivered from head to toe, looking away from the rat mutant to stare at his feet. Perhaps it was a good thing his pops wasn’t anything like this… whatever was on Splinter’s tone reminded him a bit too much of—
"I know your hearing is not compromised, so do as told," Draxum had said with a single hand motion. An instruction. A warning.
The smaller, red-clad turtle slowly stood up, not meeting anyone's gaze.
"...guys?"
“Not now Donatello," Splinter answered firmly without turning to look at the scientist, who was hovering worriedly at the entrance of the too-crowded small room. "All of you, sit down. Who is going to explain what happened?”
The turtles sat on their ankles with their knees close together, so Raph imitated them, tail curling aroung his knees.
There was a long round of silence.
"Leonardo."
"I— I don't even know, sensei. I was waiting for Space Heroes to start when I heard an angry growl, and saw Raph rushing over to Mikey's room. Raph was yelling and had his sais posed, Mikey was crying and looked kinda afraid—”
“I wasn’t afraid!”
“ — and Spiky Raph was just… there. Standing in silence. Staring like he was somewhere far away,” Leo glanced at him with a confused, mistrusting frown. Raph continued to stare at his lap. “I thought he may be close to snapping and fighting back, so...”
Raph flinched, but remained silent.
Splinter hummed in acknowledgement, slowly turning his head around to look at each of them. Raph curled on himself, hunching his shoulders in a vain attempt of appearing smaller. What he wouldn’t give to be able to hide in his own shell like his brothers could…
“Spiky Raph,” Splinter picked him, because of course he would, and Raph shivered and wondered if he would even be able to speak.
I know your hearing is not compromised, so do as told.
“I— I’m so, so sorry,” he still couldn’t look away from his lap, hands clenching uselessly over his thighs. He wanted to hold something, a pillow, a teddy, a blanket. His brothers would have approached to hug him at this point, if they were here. “I’m sorry little guy, I’m so sorry Mikey. I didn’t mean to raise my voice or— or growl at you, I was— I was…”
“Upset,” Mikey said and Raph nodded, still not looking at him. Not looking at anyone.
“I always thought— I always thought I was comforting my little bros, but maybe—” Raph whimpered, strongly closing his eyes as tears flowed freely. “M-maybe they just stopped crying because they thought I was gonna— I was gonna hurt them, and I’m so sorry, I wanna say sorry to them, but they’re not here and—”
“I’m sure the sound is not scary for them,” Mikey interrupted, and Raph could feel a small hand pat carefully at his bicep. “You said you’ve been doing it since they were tots. They probably link your churrs to warmth and safety, kinda like… kinda like they would with a parent, you know?”
Would they really?
“You said they make Dee relax enough to fall asleep.”
Raph gave a tentative nod.
“And it does the same for your other brothers, right?”
Another nod. A turtle pile wasn’t a turtle pile if he didn’t churr at his sleepy family. It was tradition.
“See? Not scary.”
“Not… scary,” Raph repeated, deflating in absolute relief. “Not scary. You’re right, thank you. I— I gave that antru— intry— intrusive. I gave that intrusive thought too much weight.”
It happened sometimes. His Mikey would scold him kindly whenever he noticed.
“They’re called intrusive thoughts, and you don’t have to interact with them. But if you do, just come to one of us and we’ll get you out of the spiral, ok? We’re here for you, Raph.”
Except they weren’t here for him.
Mikey ducked under his arm, patting at his plastron. “Is the hug still a go?”
Raph huffed a relieved laugh, immediately engulfing the smallest turtle. “Of course, little guy.”
“I surmise you two had a misunderstanding,” Splinter nodded in their direction, his voice sounding much calmer and gentler now. “Anything you want to add to that, Michelangelo?”
The youngest huffed against his shoulder. “Raph and Leo didn’t hear me when I said we weren’t fighting, and just made everything worse. They never listen to me!”
Mikey probably would have glared at his brothers if he could, but since Raph had yet to release him from the hug the little guy just tapped his forehead against Raph’s shoulder, frustrated.
Splinter sighed through the nose with a soft look, and turned towards the last, and oddly silent, turtle involved in this mess.
“Raphael?”
“...”
“Son,” Splinter tried again, more firmly this time. “Use words. We cannot understand if you do not tell us.”
“I’m not crazy,” Raphael huffed through clenched teeth, hunching his shoulders in a way Raph instinctively recognized, because he did the exact same thing when he felt the need to hide, to disappear.
It was usually followed by the impotence of knowing he couldn’t do any of those things, that he had no option but to defend himself.
And at last, the fast process of turning those difficult emotions into something more easily manageable: Anger.
“I’m not crazy!” Raphael repeated, straightening up with a defiant glare, fists clenching over his knees. “I heard the growl last night, it was like— like a beast! I could feel the killing intent all the way to my room, I couldn’t even— I couldn’t even move, I couldn’t— I couldn’t do something as simple as stand up, or grab my weapons, I was— I was just frozen and stupid —”
And if anyone had been injured he would blame himself for not warning them, for not protecting them. For being frozen in fear, when he was supposed to be the brave one. The protector.
Raph understood the words unspoken with striking clarity.
“I’m sorry,” Raph said when the smaller Raphael seemed to struggle to find the words, “I was so tired yesterday, I didn’t mention…”
Savage’s existence.
Raph hated hurting others, but he had had no choice but to do so, back in Draxum’s lab.
At some point, he had discovered it was easier to just… mentally step back from the exercises. Let his body move on autopilot to do whatever he needed to do to survive.
At some point, he stopped being able to remember the fights, his mind just blanked out for the entire episode. He wouldn’t even know something had happened if not for the new marks and injuries adorning his rapidly-growing body. The sudden wave of exhaustion and sweat and thirst.
The blood.
“I was meant to be a soldier, I was… mutated to be a fighter,” Raph admitted, dragging Mikey closer into a tighter hug, until the poor little guy was fully squeezed against his plastron. He would apologize for that later. “Before Pops rescued me I had to… fight. To survive. I— I didn’t like it. Mikey— my Mikey, said my mind came up with a defense mechanism to deal with it, so now whenever I feel alone or threatened I blank out and I— I have… we— we call it Savage episodes. ”
Raph took a deep breath to calm down before looking at the other red-clad turtle, arms relaxing around Mikey. “You’re not crazy. Yesterday when I crashed down it finally dawned on me that my brothers— that I wouldn’t be able to see them for a while, and the room was so cold and gray and bare, it— it brought up some bad memories, and before I knew it I was already growling and I realized I couldn’t be alone anymore without delving into an episode. S-so I went to Donnie’s lab to have some background noise, at least, and I’m sorry, I didn’t know someone had heard… I’m so sorry Rafa.”
The Spanish nickname rolled out of his mouth with ease. Leon used it often whenever he played a comforting role, sometimes mixing it up with Raphie and Raph-a-doodle.
Rafa stared up at him with a conflicted frown, a silent evaluation.
“Your mutation was not an accident?” Donnie asked after a short pause of silence, still hovering at the entrance of the room.
Raph snorted humorlessly and shook his head. “We were meant to be soldiers, to fight in a war against humanity. Draxum chose turtles for the combination of offense and defense, and the mutagen gave us an increased healing rate, resistance to extreme temperatures, speed... and accelerated aging, in my case.”
Which was a good thing, because otherwise he would have outlived his brothers.
It was also a terrible thing, because he had outgrown the baby phase absurdly fast, which meant he was physically able to “train” sooner. By the time he was five he still had the mentality of a kid, but was already tall enough to reach Draxum’s waist, and thus more “prepared” for stronger opponents.
He also remembered more things than he would like. Toddlers really weren’t supposed to recall so many things…
“Draxum?” Leo looked up at Splinter.
“I don’t recognize that name,” Splinter shook his head at the unasked question.
“What’s a Savage Episode, exactly?” Rafa asked seriously. It made sense for him to focus on that part, considering he had been the only one to hear the threatening growl last night.
“Raph… takes the backseat. Raph doesn't really recall what Savage did during the episode, even after snapping out of it, and it’s not something that happens frequently, but uh… Dee’s cameras did catch it once.
“He didn’t let me see, but I’ve been told Savage usually tries to isolate. He either locks himself in a room, stays at a corner growling, or searches for large bodies of water to hide, coming up every thirty minutes or so just to breathe before diving down again. The water is calming, and is the fastest and most safe way for Raph to come back. My brothers also sing to me from outside the room sometimes. It takes a while, but Savage does calm down if they’re around. He recognizes them as safe, most of the time.”
“Most of the time?” Rafa stressed with obvious alarm.
“Um, harsh sounds can startle Savage into thinking they’re attacking.” Offering videogames was not a good idea, Leon had admitted. Raph had facepalmed at the obviousness. “But he won’t lash out first, even if he looks like he might, so if you're too close just step back without turning around and you’ll be good.”
“Sounds like a horror movie,” Donnie shivered, taking a step back.
“And if Savage does attack?” Splinter’s pose was tense, long ears drawn backwards. A guarded posture.
Raph flinched, hugging Mikey closer again. "Don’t fight Savage. Whatever you do, just… don’t fight ‘im. It makes everything worse, Raph can’t come back until it’s over, and it’s dangerous for everyone involved. Savage doesn’t… care about his own wellbeing, nor others’, not for as long as they’re attacking."
Raph couldn't remember the fight itself, but Draxum had once scolded him for being willing to sacrifice an arm if it meant defeating the opponent. It was one of those rare instances where the yokai had sounded absolutely livid.
Don't you realize the severity of the damage you could have sustained!? Don't do something like that ever again! That’s an order!
“Then what are we supposed to do?” Leo was frowning worriedly, leaning closer as if waiting for a chance to drag Mikey away. Raph feigned not to notice.
"If there’s no choice please just stay still, I swear Savage is not gonna hurt you if you do.”
There was a long moment of silence as everyone processed his answer.
"Bro," Mikey was the first to speak, voice muffled against his shoulder, and Raph relaxed his arms to finally let him free.
"Ah-hah, sorry little guy."
"Bro, you need a bath," Mikey coughed and made an exaggerated gagging sound, and Raph chuckled despite himself.
“How often does that shit happen?” Rafa asked, standing up and grabbing Mikey’s arm to pull him away in a single, swift motion.
“Very rarely, yesterday was just… I’ve never been separated from my family, not like this. I was coming to terms with it,” still working on that, actually, “but it shouldn’t— it won’t happen. I’m not gonna have an episode while I'm here.”
Rafa huffed an incredulous sound, still tense.
“Well then,” Splinter said after a pause, making a hand gesture for Raph to stand up. “Go take a bath, relax. Sons, you come with me to the dojo.”
“Er, sure. Where’s the—?”
“Uh, the shower's gonna be too small for you, but you can soak in the pool that’s in the lair’s entrance!” Mikey suggested, jerking his arm free from Rafa’s hold to approach Raph. “Donnie placed filters and stuff, so it's clean. Come on, I’ll tell you where it is.”
“He can find it on his own.”
“Mikey.”
Rafa and Leo said at the same time, looking like they wanted to keep Mikey away from Raph, but the sound of the cane hitting the floor made them pause.
“That is a good idea. Show him around, Michelangelo, I do believe Spiky Raph is missing a tour,” Splinter said kindly, gesturing with his head towards the entrance. “Once you are done, leave him to relax and come to the dojo with us.”
“Master Splinter!” Leo protested, but he just received a silencing hard look.
“I can… find it on my own,” Raph said, putting a hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “Thank you though.”
“Nope, Master Splinter said to show you around, so come on!” Mikey smiled and pulled at his hand, tugging forward with a surprising amount of strength. Were all Mikey’s so deceiving? A strong, capable turtle hiding under layers of harmless cuteness and positivity.
Raph huffed a short laugh, and pointedly ignored the way Donnie practically jumped away from the room’s entrance, trying to put as much space between them as possible.
Having them know about Savage, before they could even get to know Raph, probably hadn’t caused a good first impression.
It’ll be fine, just give them time. Mind Raph reassured.
Where were you? Raph inwardly huffed. I had intrusive thoughts about my churring!
Sorry, I was giving some advice to Leon back at home.
Yeah, right.
“And this is it! Ain’t it great?” Mikey gestured towards the body of water. “This is one of the entrances we use for coming in and out of the lair, so be careful not to wander too far away, yeah?”
Raph nodded, already sitting down at the edge to slip his feet in. “Thanks Mikey.”
“No problem-o! Just relax and… don’t worry about all that stuff,” the way he went from energetic excitement to soft reassurance was really like Dr. Feelings. “ I’m sure Master Splinter will handle it. You’re a good guy, Spiky Raph, and they’ll see that too.”
“Thanks Mikey,” Raph repeated softly, nudging at the orange-clad turtle with his head. Mikey snickered and gave him an affectionate headbutt in return.
“Gotta go, but enjoy the swim!”
“Sure thing, buddy.”
Raph took a deep breath and let himself sink into it, closing his eyes once he finally reached the bottom. He would have to come up for air in half an hour, but until then, he was content to relax undisturbed.
They’ll come around. Mind Raph reassured again. Just give them some time to get to know you.
Raph nodded to himself, eyes still closed. Time, just a matter of time…
He still hoped he wouldn’t have to spend too much time in this world; but if he did, he supposed things would sort themselves out one way or the other. He’d just be himself and hope for the best.
Notes:
FANART
Look at Mikey being best bro when Raph needed it the most so sweet!!! >w< I love their expressions!AN
I was intending to write fluff in this chapter. The angst just… kicked the door open and barrelled in uninvited QwQAlso, I wrote some analysis on the TMNT 2012 circumstances if you’re interested in seeing why I write the 2012 turtles the way I do.
Welp, hope you enjoyed the read! Next chapter we’ll have a 2012 POV wohoo~
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter Text
Another Point of View
(4K words)
Splinter had been unprepared for many things when he first started his new life as a rat mutant, single-parent of four.
“ — Pops would sometimes step in to correct our posture and ensure we didn’t accidentally hurt ourselves— “
Interacting with an older, alternate version of one of his sons was just the most recent — and most bizarre, which was saying something considering what he had experienced — development.
“ — so we started at the same time. They were… eight and seven, respectively.”
Splinter gave a noncommittal hum, ears lowering backwards as the word ‘Pops’ continued to run circles in his head. He would need a long session of mediation after he turned in for the day. “How… interesting. You’re twenty years old, then?”
“Yeah.”
“That explains some things,” Splinter glanced at his second oldest, who was still discussing animatedly with his brothers, and inwardly compared the strong, impulsive, temperamental teen to his taller and more compassionate adult counterpart.
And if he was drawing comparisons, there was no doubt in his mind that Raphael was doing the same. Splinter would have to talk with him before his son went to sleep.
“All of you, get ready for round two.” Raphael couldn’t think clearly when emotions clouded his mind, it would be better to give him an outlet. Besides, winning and losing in a team exercise was different than when it happened to a single individual, so the other three would pause their teasing one way or the other.
“Hajime!” This would also serve as a demonstration of Spiky Raph’s capabilities and attitude. He had seen none of the egotistical radiance his Raphael exuded whenever he won a match, but as the bigger turtle finally started to fight back, Splinter could perceive an entertained, ferocious grin.
Spiky Raph liked to train, seemingly just as much as his own Raphael did.
And yet.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much pressure? Too heavy? Where does it hurt?”
The idea of hurting his opponents seemed to generate terrible anxiety. Was that worried frenzy directed to his turtles, specifically, or was that a general rule? Would he react the same way if he were to fight against the Krang?
The inquiry was relevant enough to deserve an answer, but first: “Repeat after me. Everyone is fine.”
“Everyone is… fine.”
“No one is hurt.”
“No one is hurt…” Spiky Raph finally let the remains of tension dissipate, deflating with visible exhaustion. “Thank you, um, what should I call you…?”
“Master Splinter should do,” because that’s how his sons called him, even if he was starting to think he liked the sound of a casual, love-laced Pops a bit better. He wondered if having his sons call him dad more often would be…
He needed to meditate.
“Ok. Thank you Master Splinter,” Spiky Raph nodded with gratitude, body swaying in place. “I think, I think I’m… tired.”
Splinter added ‘better communication skills’ and ‘capability to recognize his own limits’ to his mental list of differences, even as he instructed his sons to help their unexpected guest get ready to rest.
“Raphael, stay behind for a moment,” Splinter called before the red-clad turtle could escape the dojo. His son huffed grumpily and glared at the floor, but halted as instructed. His shoulders were still tense, still hunched forward in a guarded posture.
“...what,” the teen grunted when Splinter spent too long in silence.
“Do me a favor and go grab Spike,” he settled at last, figuring it was better safe than sorry.
“Ugh, feelings speech,” his son cringed and rolled his eyes, but dutifully went out to retrieve his pet, coming back to the dojo after ten minutes. To be fair, Splinter had estimated he would take a long detour of at least fifteen, so it wasn’t too bad.
“Alright, come sit down with me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill,” Raphael sighed, sitting cross legged in front of him, while Splinter kept his usual posture, sitting on his heels.
“Raphael, I have a question for you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Would a Japanese man behave in the same way an American would?”
His son snorted, one hand absently petting the small turtle. “Of course not.”
“Why not?”
“Isn’t it obvious? They don’t even speak the same language, and the clothing and traditions and all the other stuff is very different."
“Like the food utensils?”
“Yeah, exactly!”
“And the way of greeting, the way of mourning their loved ones, the everyday expressions and gestures?”
“Yes, all that stuff. No American calls their teacher 'sensei' either. Bunch of weirdos, if you ask me.”
Splinter snorted at that, even if the statement made the word Pops appear uninvited at the front of his mind again.
“That is a good example, yes. A second question, would you expect a ten year old to behave like you and your brothers do? To know the things you all do?”
“Uh, no?”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a kid, and we’re not. Kids are, like, way dumber— although Mikey probably could compete there,” Raphael snickered at his own joke, noticed Splinter was still staring expectantly, and sighed before focusing back on the question. “It’s just different, sensei. They’re still learning a lot of stuff that we already know, what else do you want me to tell you?”
“So it is alright for someone younger than you to not know the things you already do.”
“Uh, yeah?”
“And it is alright for them to struggle with the most complicated things, like learning how to express their emotions.”
“Yeah…?”
“Like anger?”
Raphael flinched, hands curling into fists for a long moment before taking a deep breath and letting it out again, fingers occupying themselves with his pet.
“Damn it, we’re not talking about kids.”
“No,” Splinter chuckled lightly, “I suppose we are not.”
The teen continued to look down at his pet, frowning heavily.
“He’s just… he’s just so different. The way he holds himself, the way he talks, like he doesn’t— like he never gets angry,” Raphael huffed, gently letting Spike down so he could stand up and pace the room. “Not even— not even to defend himself! Leo had one katana pointed at him, the guy could have done a lot of things, but he just… he just stood there! Like a moron!”
“I see.”
“And then Mikey gets mad at me and stupidly jumps right at the guy, and he just— he just caught Mikey and patted his head and told him he could be Queen of England? What the shell!?”
That sounded odd, but in line with Michelangelo’s usual line of thought.
“I told him he stinks, because he does, and the guy just huffed and admitted to it! Not even bothered! Not a crap given!”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I wanted to punch him in the face, to make him react, I wanted to see that he was— that we’re the same, that…”
“That he expresses anger in the same way you do.”
The teen heaved while staring at the tree, giving a single nod.
“Raphael… he is not a better version of you— no, do not interrupt,” Splinter said firmly with a raised palm. “He is not a better version of you. He is not you.”
“But he is me!”
“No Raphael, you simply share the same name. Would you be comparing yourself with one of April’s friends, if they were named the same as you?”
“That’s different and you know it!” Raphael huffed, increasing the speed of his pacing. “Not like April has any human friends, anyway.”
“Not the point, my son,” Splinter sighed, looking up at the ceiling as he often did when he needed Tang Shen to grace him with just one more droplet of patience.
Raphael just grunted noncometically, dropping down at Spike’s side to sulk. Even if the teen would never label it as such.
Splinter decided to change tactics. “I’m an inadequate father, am I not?”
“What?” Raphael jerked his head upward with a frown, which Splinter feigned not to see as he stared down at clawed hands.
“Spiky Raph refers to his Splinter as Pops. Not sensei, not Master Splinter, just… pops.”
“We call you dad too!”
“At times, yes. You know, when I was still Hamato Yoshi, still a human, I made the mistake of choosing martial arts over my own wife. Over my own family. I cannot help but wonder if I’m unknowingly making that same mistake again…”
“Of course not! We— we’re mutants, we need to know how to fight to defend ourselves! And— and it gave us discipline and stuff, so…”
“So I should not compare our guest’s circumstances with my own?”
“Yes, exactly!” Raphael exclaimed with obvious relief, glad Splinter could say what he was struggling to communicate.
Then the real message dawned on him, and he deflated with a surprised, “oh.”
“Thank you my son, you have given me something to meditate about,” Splinter said with a smile, patting the teen’s shoulder once before retreating to his room.
And now you will do the same.
(x)
Honestly, Splinter had thought that was going to be the worst of it, but this.
“We need to chain him if he’s to stay here,” Donnatello said with a worried frown, glancing at the door as if expecting Spiky Raph to barrel into the room to attack at any moment.
This managed to be worse. By a wide margin.
“You’re wrong! He’s not gonna hurt us!” Michelangelo defended, kicking his brother’s shell in a rare show of genuine anger.
“He almost crushed me during the match yesterday!”
“And he apologized! And was worried sick, in case you didn’t notice!”
“Mikey, he is a eight-foot-tall mutant that loses control when triggered, and we have no way to know if a certain word, or action, or— or anything we do is going to evolve into that. He can hurt us,” Leonardo stressed.
“Raph loses it too sometimes, and that doesn’t mean he needs to be chained!”
Raphael flinched and clenched his fists, looking away from his brothers.
“What— Raph is Raph, it’s different!”
“Spiky Raph is also a Raph! Why is it different!?”
“Enough,” Splinter ordered before the discussion escalated any further. “That is enough.”
“Master Splinter, you can’t— you can’t honestly agree with Mikey,” Leonardo insisted, gesturing at his younger brother in a way that seemed to say: “It’s Mikey!”
“I said enough, Leonardo,” Splinter frowned at the appointed eldest, “your lack of compassion is disappointing. Same as yours, Donatello.”
“Sensei, you don’t get it. He went to me, to my lab, when he was dealing with that— with an almost-Savage episode. What if he had lost it there? I’d have died before anyone even realized what was going on!”
Raphael curled slightly forward, body tense as a spring about to bolt.
“Spiky Raph went to you because he trusted you, how can you twist it like that!?” Michelangelo glared at his taller brother, but Donatello just glared back.
“Why do you keep defending him? You don’t even know him, Mikey!”
“Enough!” Splinter hit the end of his cane harshly. “Silence, all of you!”
“But Donnie's being a jerk!”
“I said enough, Michelangelo!” Splinter repeated, immediately regretting raising his voice when the youngest looked up at him at the verge of tears.
Splinter sighed deeply, wishing, not for the first time, that Tang Shen was still at his side. Raising a family by oneself was not an easy endeavor.
“I understand how you feel, Michelangelo, but yelling among yourselves is not going to solve anything. Stay silent, and listen to me.”
His youngest gave a shaky nod, same as the others… except for Raphael, who seemed lost in thought.
“Raphael.”
No reaction.
“Raphael,” Splinter repeated firmly, tapping the end of his cane in front of the teen, which made the second-oldest jolt upward.
“Eh?”
“I need all of you to listen to me,” Splinter repeated.
“I— yes. Yes, I’m listening.”
“Good,” he nodded, taking another look at the four turtles before deciding they were alert enough. “I believe I have told you the story of your making many times. Is that right?”
“Yes, sensei.”
“And I have shared some of the struggles we faced before finding refuge in the sewers.”
“Hai.”
“And you do realize that if I had been any less skilled, and any less lucky, we all would have been captured by the Krang. Is that correct?”
This time, there was no immediate chorus of agreement.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Donnatello, ever the rebel, was the first to break the oath of silence.
“Ah, but it is relevant for this, Donatello,” Splinter focused on him, “Spiky Raph said that he was raised as a soldier, before his father rescued him. He was forced to ‘fight to survive’ if I use his own words.”
The tallest of his sons frowned, confused. “Well, yeah? So what?”
“We could have been more similar in that aspect, don’t you see?” Splinter said, watching as red eyes lit up in understanding. “If I had been defeated when you were still babies, the Krang would have taken you all as prisoners.”
Splinter turned to look at Leonardo. “You are ninja, you know there is no battle that leaves its participants unscathed. Be this by physical scars…”
He glanced towards Michelangelo. “Or ones more difficult to see, inflicted in the mind, the soul. War does not differentiate between the guilty and the innocent, and he must have been quite young when it all happened. He didn’t get to choose his own circumstances, in the same way we did not choose ours.”
And finally, he turned to face Raphael.
“He did not get to choose his reactions either, nor the way his mind deals with such a difficult event. The encompassing anger against the injustice, exploding in a fight response when set under specific circumstances.”
The teen was hanging on his every word, looking less tense than he did a moment ago. Good.
“He has been very straightforward in what we can expect from an episode, and what is the best way to deal with it. This decreases the risk to us greatly, but if by any chance something were to happen, I will deal with Savage personally. You are safe with me, my sons, if you cannot trust him please trust me.”
Leonardo and Donatello exchanged a glance.
“That said, you do not have to spend time with him if you feel uneasy. I just ask— no, demand that you still show compassion and basic courtesy during his stay here. This means no chains,” he stared directly at Donatello, who had the decency to squirm remorsefully.
“And we prioritize the remodeling of the empty room so it no longer reminds him of a prison cell,” he added more gently with a nod at his youngest, who was positively beaming at him.
“Am I clear?”
“Yes, sensei,” a perfect chorus of four voices. Excellent.
“Then you are dismissed. Except you, Leonardo, I need a minute if you may.”
His oldest thinned his lips, but nodded.
Donatello and Raphael left in silence, still surmised in their own thoughts, but Michelangelo approached to hug him at the waist before parting.
“I knew you could do it, dad,” the youngest whispered while burrowing his face against his robe. “Thank you.”
“You have a kind heart, Michelangelo,” Splinter said softly, patting his head affectionately. “It is a treasure many loose with the passage of time. I’m proud to see you guard yours dutifully.”
The youngest sniffed, cleaned his tears and snot on his robes — eugh — and left the dojo with a happy twirl.
“What is it, Master Splinter?”
Right, Leonardo.
“I do recall hearing that the mission for tonight would be to gather some of our missing… adaptations for our guest’s needs.”
His oldest frowned, and gave a single nod. “That was the idea, but…”
Splinter nodded in understanding. “Yes. As I said, you do not have to interact if you do not wish to. I believe that, for this instance, Michelangelo should suffice to guide our guest to the surface so they can start collecting what is needed.”
“What? But Sensei, Mikey can’t—”
“He is more than capable of guiding Spiky Raph towards the surface.”
“No, no, I don’t mean that, not even Mikey could mess that up,” Leonardo shook his head, “I’m just— what if they stumble with the Krang or Snakeweed or with that annoying guy that mutated, Spider Bytez? Or even Chris Bradford—”
“I am sure,” Splinter interrupted, placing a hand over his son’s shoulder, “that they will be able to handle it.”
“But—”
“But if it worries you, you can also choose to accompany them. Is your decision, Leonardo, but rest assured I believe in their capabilities.”
“Accompany— but how— how am I supposed to deal with him? What does the other Leo do? How does he tell that— that giant what to do without getting screwed in the process when he inevitably argues back—”
“Why do you assume he will argue?”
“Because he's a Raph!”
Splinter sighed through the nose. Patience, these kids were going to dry him out of patience someday.
“Leonardo,” he said with a deadpan look. “Your brother is not the only Raphael in the world, the fact that they share a name does not make them the same person.”
“This is different—”
“I’m sorry, but last I checked your brother has never been imprisoned nor been forcefully separated from his family.”
Leonardo clicked his mouth shut mid-sentence.
Splinter nodded once. “You are dismissed.”
“...yes, sensei,” Leonardo sighed at last, giving him a short bow before turning around to leave the room.
Shaking his head lightly, Splinter turned around towards his own chambers, intending to remain there for the rest of the day.
Patience. He really needed to meditate to recharge some of his used reserves, so nothing short of Shredder knocking down their figurative door would make him get out—
His stomach growled in protest.
…well, food first. But after that he would not be moved.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Donnie practically dashed through the living room, pointedly not looking at the large body of water — even if it was currently devoid of sharp shells — not wanting to face Spiky Raph.
He didn’t want anything to do with him. He could tolerate his presence in their lair upon Splinter’s insistence, but even if his father had a point, the what-ifs of the previous night, what could have happened to him just because he was dumb enough to accept the added presence in the lab—
"Thanks Donnie, the floor is fine.”
…he had looked so relieved, like Donnie’s mere existence was enough to keep the monsters at bay. Quite literally, in this instance.
“Ugh,” Donnie grabbed his head, pacing in front of the desk. He needed something to do, he needed—
The phone Spiky Raph had handed him during breakfast was resting unassumingly in front of his laptop.
“Shit,” Donnie cursed, launching himself over the chair and plugging the phone in, giving it a minute to charge since it had run out of battery.
The faster he connected this to the satellite, the sooner he could leave it in Spiky Raph’s room, so the threatening giant turtle that was covered in scars and spikes wouldn’t have a reason to approach him or his lab again—
“Raph-a-doodle!” someone called…?
Huh? Oh, he had—
“That's the guilty tone. What did you do this time?”
He had accidentally clicked on a video. A recording of their lair’s security footage, given the high angle of the take.
“Whaaaat? Pshh, no, your lack of faith wounds me deeply—”
“Leo.” That was Leo!?
“But on a totally unrelated note, just so you know, I found this article about Top Five Reasons Leonardo Is Sorry. Number Three will surprise you!”
“Leo. What. Did. You. Do.”
Donnie shivered at the unspoken threat in the voice, the poorly hidden growl of anger.
“Weeeelll…” the turtle in the video seemed unfazed though. “I mean, if you think about it, I was doing you a favor—”
“Leo.”
“ — by, you know, accidentally damaging Ghost Bear’s poster ‘cause he’s a bad guy and all…?”
“LEO!”
“I mean— wait, no, I’m sorry!”
Spiky Raph had taken a hold of his brother, trapping him in his arms until the slider’s (?) shell clacked against the massive plastron, and then proceeded to—
“PPFFFT HAHAHA!”
Blow a loud raspberry at the top of his head, fingers tickling his sides and making the other squirm and kick the air wildly.
“I give, I give, I’ll buy you another one, ahahaha!”
“You better,” Spiky Raph huffed, releasing the smaller turtle. “What were you even doing in my room, Favorite Brother #3?”
“What!? Not fair, I already said I’m sorry!”
Spiky Raph crossed his arms, unimpressed. “Uh-huh.”
“Aaaand Mikey hasn't picked p the cans of paint in the hallway.”
“Wait, seriously!? MIKEY!”
The sound of a far-away squeak, which seemed more entertained than afraid.
“Mikey, don’t make me go up there!”
“You’ll never catch me aliiiiive!”
“I’M GOING UP THERE, YOUNG MAN!”
“Hey, wait, did I get upped to #2 at least?” Leo jumped to perch over his brother's shoulder, as if the spikes didn’t even exist.
“I’ll tell you after I catch— DONNIE, IS THAT—"
“Innocent chuckle, nothing to see here Raph—”
Donnie raised a hand to his mouth, snickering as the three brothers all ganged up against Spiky Raph, who, in a very un-Raph fashion, just bantered verbally most of the time. Whenever a physical interaction was involved, it was just to show Spiky Raph “trapping” Leo under an arm, occasionally tickle-attacking Mikey, and lightly pushing around Donnie's alternate version, who just stumbled a couple of steps away while saying “offended gasp” instead of just, you know, gasping offendedly.
The recording ended with a messy pile of limbs and shells as the brothers tried to “wrestle” out of what obviously ended up becoming a turtle pile, with Spiky Raph crushing all three smaller turtles under his plastron and arms respectively.
Donnie went towards the next video, still smiling.
And then another after that, and again, because pfft, they could have their own series, how did they even come up with half of these shenanigans—
“I SWEAR TO THE PIZZA SUPREME IN THE SKY!”
“Pshh, hahaha!” Donnie laughed out loud, finding the fed-up growling of Spiky Raph entertaining.
“I regret nothing!”
“Wait until I get you, we’ll see if that changes!”
“You can do it, other me!” Donnie encouraged, pumping a fist in the air. “Get away— no, not in that direction!”
“REGRET! I REGRET MANY THINGS!”
“As you should!”
“Hahaha, oh man,” Donnie laughed, tapping at the arrow to go to the next video, only to find that it had been the last one.
“Haha… ah,” he sighed amusedly, making a copy of the whole media folder so he could go through the photos and audio files at some later date before, at last, connecting the phone to the satellite as he had originally intended.
“Better give this back to him,” Donnie said to himself, excitedly going out of the room, still grinning from ear to ear.
He now wanted to ask about their lair and, more specifically, the lab of his counterpart. From the glimpses he had seen, the technology there looked phenomenal.
Also, the videos showed all three brothers jumping to perch over Spiky Raph’s shoulders and shell quite often, so he now wanted to try. For scientific reasons, of course!
Notes:
After the angst of last chapter, I owed you guys a lighter ending <3 Snitches get stitches unless you've become Fav #3, then you can throw each other under the bus to either rise up to #2 or drag them down with you xD
Lots of references to the Leatherhead episode. In that chapter they didn't know what was triggering Leatherhead (and he showed that his first instinct upon waking up was to attack) so Splinter agreed to chain him. Rise!Raph provided lots of details tho! Aaand is kind of his son in another universe, so of course it's a no-go.
So, our dear Raph now has gained over three allies, Mikey, Splinter, and Donnie! Only two more to go! Woohoo~ Next chapter I'll show 12Raph! and 12Leo! POVs~
Hope you enjoyed the reading, see ya’ around~ dEBB987.
Chapter Text
Raph-a-doodle
(4K words)
“You understand, right Spike?”
The little turtle blinked what was surely an affirmative.
“I knew you would, buddy. You’re so smart,” Raph praised softly, petting the top of the head with a finger. He stayed like that for a long while before inwardly admitting defeat and sitting down cross legged, placing Spike on his lap.
Raph couldn’t believe he was meditating again. He had meditated more tonight than he had in the past year, damn it.
“Would a Japanese man behave in the same way an American would?”
That one was straightforward enough. His taller counterpart was as different from himself as a Japanese would to an American. Different cultures and experiences and all that jazz.
“So it’s alright for someone younger than you to not know how to express their emotions. Like anger.”
Raph really wanted to believe that he was capable of that… level of moronic gentleness. Maybe just less moronic though, just standing there stupidly while someone is pointing a goddamn katana at you? That was beyond idiotic.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much pressure? Too heavy? Where does it hurt?”
Raph would have assumed Donnie was just being his usual dramatic self, he wouldn’t have worried too much about it. On the contrary, he probably would have feinted a punch, just to bother him, and Donnie would have flinched and raised his arms, as if he actually believed Raph would hit him while already down.
He wouldn’t though. His brothers knew that, right?
…right?
“You’re twenty years old then?”
“Yeah.”
Did five years of age gap really make that much of a difference?
Could Raph be more like that once he grew older?
“I can be gentle, right Spike? It’s not like I’m broken or anything.”
Spike tried to bite one of his fingers.
“You’re right, that was a dumb question,” Raph chuckled, grabbing his pet and carrying it towards the bed, so he could lay down on his plastron while Spike rested near the pillow. “I just don’t get it, that moronic kindness it’s like his default. How is any version of me like… that?”
“— so we started at the same time. They were eight and seven, respectively.”
A difference of four and five years with his siblings. Raph tried to imagine Leo and Donnie being eleven years old, and Mikey being ten, while he remained fifteen.
He would still annoy them just for the heck of it, but he probably wouldn’t roughhouse like he usually did. It was easier to hurt a kid, in every sense of the word; and they also cried for pretty much anything and Raph hated the crying, so he probably would be more careful.
And that was even without the addition of sharp spikes and ridiculously different weight and height. What was the word? Complexion.
“American and Japanese, huh?”
Spike headbutted his forehead.
“What? You can go to sleep if you want, I just need to think for a bit more. Just ignore me if it bothers you.” Spike tried to bite his nose, so Raph snorted and gently let the turtle down so it could go and hide under a chair.
Then he heard a deep, murderous growl, and his meditation reached an abrupt end as he froze up, every muscle in his body locking up against his will, even though he needed to move, move, move, please move!
A monster was free to roam on their lair and he needed to warn them, to protect them!
He didn’t know for how long he stayed like that, stupidly frozen in place, before he could finally roll off the bed, scrambling on four limbs in a mad dash to get outside just a bit faster, but.
But he hadn’t heard another growl, nor any yelling after that.
...had he dreamt it? Was he going crazy?
Sais on hand, he silently crept over the adjacent room, leaning out just enough for him to take a peek inside.
Empty.
The revelation made his pulse skyrocket to the roof as he panicked dashed throughout the lair, heartbeat loud enough to resonate in his ears.
He had checked on Mikey, who was sleeping on his hammock with an empty cardboard of pizza covering his head, cheese and pepperoni glued to his cheek — gross — and then Leo, who was sleeping on his side, facing the wall. Asleep deeply enough to be snoring lightly.
That left Donnie.
“Raph? Why are you up at this hour?” his brother whispered with a concerned frown.
Raph stared at the big and spiky shell that was moving up and down with deep breaths, obviously fast asleep. He looked like one of those dogs that rested in front of the fireplace in cartoons.
“What’s he doing here?” Raph whispered back.
“Uh…” Donnie hesitated, glancing at Spiky Raph. “Don’t judge me, but I sort of wanted to run some tests.”
“...seriously!?” Raph hissed. Couldn’t Donnie be a bit less of a Mad Scientist? Where did he store his self-preservation instincts and why didn’t he have more?!
“It’s not like it’ll hurt him, they’re just some diagnoses I can run with our med equipment! It’ll be just like a general checkup—”
“I’m leaving,” Raph huffed, rolling his eyes and stepping out of the lab.
Maybe… maybe he had dreamt that…
(x)
The echo of a growl had made him bolt out of his seat, breakfast forgotten. He knew he hadn’t dreamt it, he knew it, he knew it, and shit, it was coming from Mikey’s room—
The growling mutant was on a knee, looming over his little brother who was trapped by one big hand grabbing at his shoulder, and Raph had instantly seen red. The world around him disappeared, the voices of his brothers turning into little more than background noise as he focused completely on his newly appointed opponent.
“What’s that about?” the snapper frowned heavily with a show of teeth, which highlighted the thin scars on his face, as the massive turtle straightened up to full height with tense muscles, ready to fight. There was the anger Raph had wanted to see. The proof that they weren’t too different.
He was absolutely terrified of him, of himself, of it.
But he also wanted to punch it away, like defeating this monster in battle would be akin to defeating his own anger, to make it finally disappear for good, and then Raph would stop snapping, stop hurting, stop acting impulsively.
"You gotta control your temper. Until then, we just can't trust you.”
Then Leo wouldn’t send him back to the lair like he was some sort of incompetent child throwing a tantrum just because.
So Raph snarled right back, telling the farce that he was busted, that he could drop the gentle facade, that he wasn’t fooling anyone. Raph had even gotten a good kick to the face, he had made the snapper stumble backwards!
Something Raph did or said made the anger disappear from the snapper’s face, which was kind of what he wanted, except for the fact that it was replaced by what could only be labeled as heartbreaking grief.
“Are you crying…?” Raph had asked incredulously, lowering his sais despite himself.
He was defending his brothers, his family. He was fighting against the monster, fighting against the anger.
So why did he feel like a bully?
“WHY DO YOU GUYS NEVER LISTEN TO ME!” Mikey’s voice finally reached him, angrier than he had ever heard it, and suddenly he was going down, scraping his plastron against hard concrete.
“Mikey? What’s wrong little guy?” And just like that, the gentle tone was back?
Just like that, his counterpart had snapped out of it. Without fighting, without hurting, without insulting, without—
“Yame!” Splinter called above the voices of everyone else, and silence reigned. Or at least, Raph supposed it did. His ears were still buzzing, his mind trying to overcome the static as it got stuck on an endless loop of his conversation with Splinter last night.
“Raphael, he is not a better version of you.”
Bullshit. A goddamn lie, his counterpart had controlled himself perfectly, he had been in control all the time, he hadn’t lost it like Raph did, not even when attacked, when provoked! It took a lot less for Raph to get mad enough to lose it!
But—
“Raphael. Use words, we cannot understand if you do not tell us.”
But he had heard the growling, goddammit!
“I’m not crazy!” He hadn’t imagined that, he refused to believe he was frozen for who-knows-how-long due to something his mind had fucking made up! There was no way—
“I’m sorry,” his counterpart had interrupted him, looking directly at him with a kind of understanding and compassion that Raph wasn’t used to seeing in anyone other than, occasionally, Splinter.
“...I’m so sorry, Rafa.”
Raph didn’t even mind the nickname. He was still mulling about… Savage episodes…
Which sounded like a worse version of losing control. His counterpart was better at the everyday stuff, but a hella lot more dangerous in the off cases when he was triggered hard enough to lose it.
“How often does that shit happen?” Raph had immediately snatched Mikey away from him, needing the reassurance that his little brother was ok, that neither Raph had hurt him during the mess.
“Not often…” and something in the dark gaze was begging him to understand, to believe the reassurance, but Raph knew exactly how much he could hurt his loved ones when anger clouded his vision, and even if he tried to compensate for that in his own way later on…
He didn’t trust himself with it.
He wasn’t going to trust an alternate version of himself either.
(x)
It was rare to see Mikey so angry about something, but defending his counterpart seemed to be his self-appointed duty.
“Raph loses it too sometimes, and that doesn’t mean he needs to be chained!”
Raph flinched at the mental image, turning away from his brothers. He didn’t… it’s not like he trusted the snapper to not hurt anyone in a fit of anger, but imagining him chained to a post like he was some sort of wild animal made him feel sick.
The moron probably would allow it. He would be willingly chained, and Raph sort of wanted to punch him for it. Punch Donnie too, for suggesting it.
“What— Raph is Raph, it’s different!”
“Spiky Raph is also a Raph! Why is it different?!”
Why, indeed? Had the situation been reversed, if he were in a world not his own, with a family similar but not quite… would an alternate version of his brothers deem Raph too volatile to be trusted and lock him up? Deem him too much of a hassle to even try to deal with him?
“Sensei, you don’t get it. He went to me, to my lab, when he was dealing with that— with an almost-Savage episode. What if he had lost it there? I’d have died before anyone even realized what was going on!”
Raph flinched, because that meant the answer was yes, they wouldn’t even bother to try. Shit, he wanted to hide in his shell and stay there for the rest of eternity, but he wasn’t a tot anymore, he couldn’t just hide and hope it would pass—
“Raphael,” Splinter called, tapping the end of the cane at the space in front of him, and Raph jolted with surprise.
“Eh?”
“I need all of you to listen to me.”
“I— yes. Yes, I’m listening.”
And he was honestly glad he was listening.
“He did not get to choose his own circumstances, in the same way we did not choose ours,” Splinter said before turning to face him. “He did not get to choose his reactions either, nor the way his mind deals with such a difficult event. The encompassing anger against the injustice, exploding in a fight response when set under specific circumstances.”
Raph couldn’t help it, he honestly, honestly couldn’t. He tried to be better, he wanted to be better, but it was so hard sometimes.
He just needed a bit of help, sometimes.
Spiky Raph was the same. He may be better with the everyday stuff, but he had admitted to needing help with Savage, right? Said his brothers sang to him, said he needed somewhere to hide to calm down, so he was…
He was kinda like a scared cat when triggered. Raph was good with animals, he could help.
He wanted help with the everyday stuff also.
“That said, you do not have to spend time with him if you feel uneasy. I just ask— no, demand that you still show compassion and basic courtesy during his stay here. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sensei,” basic courtesy was a good start, he could do that.
Raph wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He would have liked to have someone help him too, if the situation were reversed.
“Then you are dismissed.”
(x)
(x)
(x)
Leo watched the water like a hawk.
Like a very, very bored hawk.
He would rather be watching Space Heroes, or training, or playing in the arcade machines. He would rather do literally anything else but watch the still-unmoving waters, but he didn’t have any option on the matter. He was the leader, the wellbeing of his brothers was his responsibility, so he needed to catch Spiky Raph next time he resurfaced to… have a serious talk with him.
To threaten the turtle mammoth into behaving.
Half of him still thought he was going to get killed for it, but Master Splinter was in the lair as well, so if anything it was better to have this conversation here and now than push it for later when they were out in the surface, where his screams would fall on deaf ears—
“Leo?”
“EAK!” Leo fell from the couch with a startled — not squeak, he did not squeak! — manly scream. Yes, that’s what happened.
“Sorry, you looked worried and weren’t blinking, so…” Spiky Raph said tentatively, standing right at the edge of the 'pool', dripping wet. “Uhm, do you have any towels? I forgot to ask for some before getting in, sorry for the mess.”
This tall version of Raph apologized a lot, Leo noticed.
“You don’t have to use a towel, just pat off the excess before moving and it should be good. It’s not like the sewers are not already wet anyway.”
Spiky Raph gave a light nod, passing his hands over his arms and shaking his feet and tail to get rid of the excess of water.
He had… followed the instruction very calmly, without the addition of smartass comments, or shaking purposely close to Leo to get him wet, or grabbing him by the shell to drop him on the water.
Alright, he could do this. Hopefully without dying in the process.
“I— there’s something we need to clear up,” Leo took a deep breath to calm the nerves, hopping up the couch in an effort to be more at eye-level as he straightened to full height. “You are going to listen to me.”
Spiky Raph blinked and gave a very slow nod.
“If I tell you to do something, you— you do it without question,” Leo placed his hands on his hips to lessen the hand-shaking. Spiky Raph was just staring, he wasn’t even doing anything, get it together! “The surface is a dangerous place, and you won’t risk my brothers’ safety by deviating from the plans I make.”
Spiky Raph was now approaching, and Leo was sooo going to die here, dammit.
“I’m the leader, and as such, I’ll— I’ll do what’s best for the team, so don’t— don’t step out of line!”
“Leo.”
“I will leave you behind if you put my brothers at risk—”
“Leo.”
“— so don’t t-try me, because—”
“Leo, I trust your judgment,” Spiky Raph said in a soft voice that had no business belonging to a Raph, of all people. The tall turtle was standing a foot away from him, arms mildly raised as if preparing to catch Leo if he stumbled off the couch again. “I don't know anything about this city, the Krang, or the people you defend or fight against. I dunno how you guys fight or how you support each other. Whatever role you assign to me, I'll follow it without question.”
It was Leo’s turn to just stand and stare, because—
“So don’t worry about this. I— I know it’s hard to believe after… after hearing of Savage, but the last thing I want is to hurt anyone.”
— because what the hell.
“And if you need to leave me behind to ensure your and your brothers’ safety, then do so without remorse. I’ll find a way to escape and come back here on my own, Raph’s got it.”
Swearing was fine so long it didn’t leave his head, right? Because what the flying hell.
“Yeeaaah, we’re not leaving you behind Spiky Raph, Leo is just trying to appear though,” Mikey said while shaking like a wet dog to get rid of water and what, when did he even get there!?
“It’s fine if you guys need to.”
“And I said no,” Mikey glared warningly at Spiky Raph, before turning to give Leo a devilish grin. “That was so cute though!”
“What,” Leo didn’t squeak.
“I’m the leader, so do as told!” Mikey imitated badly, placing both hands on his hips in an heroic pose before bending forward with an amused pffttt.
“I am the leader! And I wasn’t cute, don’t— don’t call me that!”
“Don’t be mean, Mikey,” Spiky Raph actually scolded(?) as he interceded in Leo's favor(!?)
“But it was cute!”
“Would you like it if he teased you for trying hard at something?” Mikey pouted and crossed his arms, turning to face away from them. “He’s being brave, he didn’t know what to expect. It must've been difficult, so cut him some slack.”
“...it was just funny.”
“You can think that, just don’t say it until after I’m gone, otherwise you put him in a difficult position. I’m a… I’m still a stranger to him.”
“You’re Spiky Raph, which makes you a Raph, which makes you our bro!” Mikey declared with a scolding tone and what the shell was this conversation, what was even life anymore. This was all so weird, it couldn’t get—
“Raph-a-doodle, hahaha!” Donnie exclaimed teasingly while grinning ear to ear, in high spirits even after Spiky Raph almost could-have-murdered-him last night, and apparently things could get a lot weirder, because instead of getting angry Spiky Raph just snorted.
“Where did you hear that?”
“I watched the videos on your phone,” Donnie admitted without an ounce of shame or self-preservation. “Your family is, haha, you guys are so funny.”
“You watched— Donnie!” Spiky Raph growled, which made Leo tense up and reach for the handle of his katana, prepared to jump between them at a second’s notice.
“What?” Donnie replied with a carefree tilt of the head, still smiling in good humor as if he wasn't in grabbing distance of an angry, could-turn-murderous mammoth.
“You can’t go through others’ personal things without asking, it’s rude!”
“...but you lent me the phone?” Donnie offered it, as if it were an olive branch.
“To get this world’s signal, that doesn’t count as permission to go through my things!” Spiky Raph insisted, practically snatching the device back. “You need to ask, Donnie. Ask.”
“Why is everybody screaming?” Raph stepped into the living room with guarded steps, hands hovering preventively over his sais, ready to grab them in the blink of an eye. At last, one thing that remained unchanged.
“Spiky Raph got angry because I watched the videos on his phone,” Donnie answered matter-of-factly, barely sparing Raph’s incredulous “you what,” a glance before focusing on the snapper again, “but the first one was an accident…”
“Oh, you watched all of them, didn’t you,'' Spiky Raph groaned, passing a hand over his face. “Donnie, how would you feel it if someone went through the stuff on your Tphone?”
“Who would do that? There’s no way they can crack my protective code—”
“That doesn’t— agghh,” Spiky Raph made a frustrated gesture, huffing a harsh exhale. “Ok, new plan. Let me watch the videos on your phone and we’re even.”
“What!? No!”
“See? Nobody likes it when others go check their stuff! You should’ve asked, Donnie. Please, please just ask next time!”
“Don’t worry Donnie, I’ll demonstrate,” Mikey said with a mocking bow, grinning with superiority before escalating up the massive shell to perch at one shoulder. “Hey Spiky Raph, can I watch the Raph-a-doodle video?”
“Raph-a-doodle. Raph-a-doodle?!” Raph exclaimed accusingly to his counterpart, letting his hands move away from his weapons in favor of making a strangling gesture.
“That’s not how they usually call me,” Spiky Raph said, looking at Raph with a ‘please free me of my misery’ expression when Mikey accidentally elbowed his cheek in a clumsy effort of avoiding the spikes of the shoulder.
“Woops, sorry, but I can watch it, right?”
“...yes Mikey, yes you can,” Spiky Raph exhaled at last.
"To be honest, the one of the lair games was a lot funnier than that one—"
"You're on thin ice, Donnie," Spiky Raph warned with a half-hearted glare. "I have yet to hear an apology."
"It was an accident!"
"Donnie."
"But… yeah, sorry for going through the other videos without asking, I guess."
"Much, much better."
“...does that mean I should delete the backups?”
“You copied— DONNIE!” and even though Spiky Raph kept growling, the sound honestly… didn’t seem as threatening anymore.
Leo allowed himself a small smile.
“Um, can I watch too?” he asked tentatively, leaving the katana sheathed.
“Yeah, sure, why not. Might as well put it in the projector at this point,” Spiky Raph huffed with an underlying tone of annoyed fondness.
Leo turned to smirk at his Raph. “Wanna come, Raph-a-doodle?”
“You’re fucking dead.”
“Language,” Spiky Raph called distractedly, even as Mikey raised his arms to exclaim: “you can outrun him Leo, I have faith in you!”
“Thanks Mikey!” Leo laughed as he jumped over the couch to get away from an angry Raph.
“Hey Donnie, I bet you a slice of pizza Leo doesn’t make it out alive.”
“I take back my thanks, Mikey!” Leo glared right before he was tackled down.
“Damn, I didn’t even get to bet,” Donnie snorted from behind the TV. “Gimme the phone Spiky Raph, I think I can connect it.”
“You still need to delete the backup you made, Donnie,” Spiky Raph warned as he handed it over, before sitting on the floor in front of the TV, fully obstructing the view for everyone else.
“Can’t you, like, lay down or something?” Mikey asked while kicking at the space between the spikes of the shell.
“Nah-uh, don’t think I can!”
“Dude, come on!” Mikey was now trying to push him down. He might as well be pushing a wall, for all the success he had. “Guys, help me take him down!”
“Gladly!” Raph grinned sharply, letting Leo free to join Mikey’s quest over the living room. He jumped to kick Spiky Raph at the upper side of the shell, or tried to, at least, considering the mammoth just leaned forward to evade it with an amused snort.
“Come on, just lay down!” Donnie joined the fray, as he and Mikey pulled at one arm, while Raph pushed at the snapper's side, having switched tactics from “get him on his belly” to “get him to lay sideways.”
“I don’t know, you have yet to say you’ll delete the backup.”
“I will, I will, so moooove!” Donnie grunted with effort.
Leo chuckled, slowly standing up — damn Raph, twisting his arm at the end hadn’t been necessary. His shoulder was sore now — to go help his brothers as well.
Life couldn’t get weirder than this anyway.
Notes:
Considering I'm getting rid of all romantic subplots, I needed to teach 2012!Donnie a basic concept of privacy and consent in another way xD
And thus, not all is resolved but they’re finally ok-enough to venture outside~ it’s gonna be fun! Please note this fic is focused on interactions for good reason, don’t expect much from the fighting scenes ksksks you've been warned.
Hope you’ve enjoyed the read! See ya’ around~ dEBB987.
Chapter Text
Quarrels
(6.5K words)
Leo had had his doubts, considering Spiky Raph’s complexion — why was he so ridiculously huge, what kind of ninja was that big, he looked more like a wrestler than anything else — but so far, the snapper had been able to keep up with their level of speed and stealth. For someone that started quite late on formal training he was a decent ninja, most of the time.
“Aww— ouph! AH!”
Other times he would see a kitty and get distracted enough to crash face-first into a wall, which seemed to damage the building more than it did him. The guy could really pack a punch, Leo had conflicted feelings about the reminder.
“Spiky Raph, we’re ninja, remember? We’re fast and, most importantly, silent— AAHHH!”
Leo had run out of rooftop and fell, crashing through the roof of a greenhouse. He tambled over boxes, which barrelled down noisily in a domino effect, so he scrambled on fours and jumped to get out via an open window, but failed at regaining his footing so his shell clacked noisily all the way down the ladder of the nearby building as he rolled down the steps.
At last, he collapsed shell-first on an alley. A car alarm went off somewhere nearby.
“That wasn’t very silent,” Raph said unhelpfully, landing on top of a large dumpster, and Leo’s vision was still unfocused but he could hear the grin, damn him.
A massive shadow fell over Leo as someone large loomed over him, and it had every muscle in his body tensing up to max level. He instinctively lashed out with his katana, rolling away to get back on his feet in a swift motion.
Spiky Raph blocked the attack with his arm, barely flinching at the new injury as he stepped back, palms raised in the multiversal gesture of calm down, I come in peace. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya’. You ok, Leo?”
Oh, he had… he had been offering a hand to help him up. Crap.
“Fine, I’m fine, uh… sorry about that.”
Spiky Raph gave a half-shrug, not looking at him. “Hey, I get it. I’ll… get up with Mikey and Donnie. See you up there.”
The snapper jumped from one wall to the other, propelling himself up until he reached the rooftop to reunite with the others.
His brother hopped down the dumpster and kicked him at the shin. “What was that for? Dude was just trying to help your sorry shell.”
“I was surprised!” Leo hissed, jumping on one foot to rub at the spot. Damn it, Raph.
“Well, get it together! What kind of fearless leader jumps at shadows, huh?” Raph scoffed, already moving up to meet with their brothers.
“It was an accident!” he said to deaf ears, sighing in frustration.
Watching the videos of their alternates had been honestly fun, even Master Splinter had chuckled at some of them. Leo didn’t know when his father had joined them in the living room, but at some point he had found the rat mutant standing behind the fully-occupied sofa.
The snapper hadn’t shared all of the videos, but the few they did get to see showed that their alternates had a lot of chaotic energy— Leo would sooner jump off a cliff than accept being left alone with his alternate version — and that Spiky Raph was… kind of a cool brother, actually.
They were now taking turns to beg Master Splinter to let them do something like the Lair Games some day, but that was a work in progress and not the point right now.
It wasn’t like Leo thought Spiky Raph was a bad guy, he just wasn’t used to having someone so large around. Whenever the snapper wasn’t in plain sight, if his presence was just edging at the corner of Leo’s vision, then his mind linked his presence to an enemy sooner than it did to an ally, without any active input from his side.
He sheathed his katana and sighed to himself, mentally preparing for his brothers to scold him as soon as he got back to the rooftop, but in the end Mikey had just shook his head in silent reprimand, while Donnie gave a pitying, but understanding gaze.
“Superficial gash, already healing,” the scientist reported before Leo could even ask. “Your healing factor is really good, by the way. I think it’ll disappear in a minute or two!”
The snapper chuckled. “Yeah, back at home we all do. It’s saved our shells sometimes.”
“Do you know what’s the limit for—”
“We can talk about this once we get back. The night won’t last forever, and we still have a lot of things to pick up,” Leo interrupted before Donnie could start the usual barricade of questions. They would be here all night if left up to him.
Most of the group nodded in agreement, so Leo led them forward.
They managed to grab some pillows from a bedroom with an open window, found a lamp Donnie assured he could repair into working conditions, grabbed a large fabric that had been hung to dry and that could serve as a blanket. Spiky Raph had disappeared in a show of surprising stealth to rob chew toys from a pet store — shut it, chewing on things is relaxing! — and they found an abandoned beanbag they could somewhat salvage once Donnie got it a new filling.
Spiky Raph was carrying the large beanbag in his arms, along with the pillows, while Mikey had the chew toys and blanket, and Donnie the lamp and some stuffed teddies he had insisted he had to take, for some reason. Leo surmised they would be used for one experiment or another.
They really needed to get their hands on a car or something, this would be a lot easier if they could just drive back home. As it was, they had no option but to run all the way back while carrying the items.
He noticed Mikey falling behind to ask the snapper about his version of New York, which in turn made Donnie and Raph slow down to eavesdrop on them, so Leo had little choice but to stop and glare at the full group.
“Mikey, no distractions!”
“What? We were still moving, you're the one that stopped!”
“We don’t have time for this! The sun is almost up, so no talking until we get back home. That goes for everyone.”
“Joy sucker.”
“Sorry for the trouble, thanks for helpin' me out.”
Both Raphs said at the same time, different as night and day, and Leo sighed and glared at his brother, refusing to look in the snapper’s direction. How could someone so much taller and older than him pull off the kicked-puppy expression so well?
“Uh, guys? It’s not Krang, but that man is probably up to no good,” Donnie mentioned at the edge of the rooftop, gesturing below with his head.
There was someone walking up and down the alley, visibly frustrated. It wouldn’t be very off putting if not for the fact that he was wearing some sort of homemade armor. It seemed quite heavy too, judging by the man’s difficulty of moving with it and the metallic sound it made with every step he took.
“I say we beat him up quickly and then move on,” Raph said with a foot already at the edge of the rooftop, weapons in hand.
“Well I’m the leader, so it’s my decision and I say —”
The heavy armor made coordination difficult, as shown when the man ended up accidentally breaking a window with his elbow and setting off a security alarm.
“— I say we need to leave before the police comes here. Let 's go!”
“We’re leaving a bad guy in armor to the police?” Mikey seemed more surprised than worried.
“Meh, his equipment seemed to be malfunctioning anyway. I’m sure they can handle it,” Donnie said simply. “Besides, we already have our hands full.”
“At least it’s not Krang,” Raph shrugged, landing at the larger entrance — we’ll have wheeled transportation someday, I’m working on it! — they had been forced to use to get to the surface, since Spiky Raph’s frame was too large to fit the circular ones spread out among most streets and alleys in the city, and they couldn’t exactly swim without damaging the stuff they were carrying.
“Hey, can you get that in without dropping anything?”
“Raph’s got it!”
Raph groaned. "Stop talking in third person, it's weird!"
"Sorry Rafa," the snapper chuckled, carefully manhandling the waverly pile of cushions to get it inside, and Leo sighed.
The trip back home was going to be slow and strenuous if they didn’t help with the load, so even if the snapper wasn’t asking for it: “Give me the pillows.”
(x)
(x)
(x)
“Here you go, Spiky Raph,” Donnie whispered as he transferred the goods, once Leo and Rafa had left.
“You're almost forgiven, Donnie,” Raph discretely squealed, grabbing the assortment of plushies and rubbing his face against them. If he didn’t fear the sound would scare them, he would happily churr.
“I grabbed the ones that resembled Dr. Huggenstain the most.”
“Not something you should know about,” Raph halted the motion to glare accusingly, “but I appreciate it.”
Raph smiled, placing the plushies over the beanbag. He could use the large cushion at night so his chin and plastron would be better supported, which hopefully would prevent any accidental tears to the fabric. His spikes were really troublesome for things like sleeping…
“Are these enough?”
“Not by my standards,” Raph huffed a laugh, extending one arm to pull Donnie closer so he could nuzzle the top of his head, in the same way he would to his brothers, “but I’ll go grab more next time. Thanks for showing me where the store is.”
Donnie gave an awkward laugh while pushing at this side, looking torn between liking and disliking the gesture. Raph made a mental note to ask next time.
“You know, I think after watching your videos Leo wouldn’t tease Raph for the stuff you want and do. Different Raphs, different tastes,” Mikey said without looking at them, balancing on a single foot as he extended both arms to stick another drawing to the wall, far to the left of where the ladder was placed.
Raph released the scientist so he could move and catch Mikey before he fell, lifting the smaller turtle over his head until he could sit in the space between shell and neck. “Ya’ think? Leo did tease him with the Raph-a-doodle nickname. Those two banter a lot.”
“Ugh, they’re always going at each other, you’re not wrong there,” Donnie crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, silently exasperated.
“But it should be ok for your drawings and plushies. Once they stop being so stiff around you they’ll probably try to tease you about them!”
“Hah! I wanna see them try,” Raph smirked challengingly, which made the youngest chuckle.
“After we’re done here, can you come back to the lab?” Donnie asked as he grabbed a handful of drawings and impatiently stuck them to random spaces on the wall. “If I’m to build a portal to get you back home I need a better understanding of how your ninpo works, since it’s directly connected to your reality.”
Mikey gasped. “Hey, you’re messing up the order!”
“It’s ok so long the walls are not empty anymore,” Raph said placatingly, because whatever Donnie needed to get him back home, he would give without hesitation. “Thanks for the help, you two.”
“Drawing together was fun!”
“Sneaking the teddies past my brothers was a good challenge,” Donnie shrugged, giving a self-satisfied grin as the last drawing was placed. “Come on.”
Raph trailed behind Donnie, who squinted warningly at the turtle still riding on his shoulders. “You don’t need to come too, Mikey.”
“It’s comfortable here though! Besides, the red glow looks cool, I like watching it.”
Donnie gave a reluctant groan. “Ok, but don’t touch anything.”
(x)
“Ohh, what’s that button for?”
“Mikey, no!” Donnie scolded, raising an arm to block the path to the button, but since Mikey was still perched over Raph’s shoulders he was too high up to press it, even if his extended arm meant he had obviously tried.
“Huh, that’s a lot better. Spiky Raph, can you hold Mikey everytime we get into my lab?”
Uhm. “Why do you want me to?”
Donnie huffed, annoyed. “Mikey is always touching my experiments—”
“It’s not always!”
“ — and has destroyed, messed up, and put himself on danger a thousand times—”
“I do not!”
“ — not to mention the hours of work that go to waste! Do you know how hard it is to replace these things, how rare it is to find materials that are still usable in the dumpster!? And you keep doing it, stop denying it Mikey!” Donnie glared at the smallest turtle.
Raph raised a hand before they could continue yelling at each other. “Ok, ok, I hear ya’ Donnie.”
“But I’m not—”
“Little guy, you did try to push the button just now,” Raph said gently.
Mikey puffed his cheeks and sulked. “Well, he shouldn’t make them so pretty!”
“So it’s my fault now!?” Donatello looked more like Murdertello at the moment, rarely a good thing. “This is why— ”
“You can’t blame pretty things for being pretty,” Raph quickly shifted the focus away from Donnie and back to the button, “and I don’t blame you for wanting to press it, it looks very pusheable.”
“Right?!”
“But we don’t know what it does, it could be dangerous, and Donnie spends a long time working on things just like you would on a detailed drawing. Not too great if someone accidentally crumbled those, right? So we need to find a way to manage the impulse to play with his stuff, ok?”
“...yeah,” Mikey sighed at last.
“Yeah? Yeah!? I’ve been telling you that for years! How come you hear Spiky Raph but not me!?”
“He doesn’t yell at me, for starters!”
“Ok, we need a bit of a break here,” Raph said placatingly, one hand resting over Mikey’s shell to ensure he didn’t jump off, and the other patting at Donnie’s shoulder in what he hoped came across as understanding. “Donnie, can you perhaps help us find a fidget toy for Mikey?”
“What’s a fidget toy gonna do?” Donnie huffed, still glaring at his brother. “He never—”
“Keep his hands busy,” Raph gave the shoulder a squeeze, encouraging the genius to focus back on him. “It would make him less-likely to impulsively grab things when he enters the lab, ‘cause he already has something in them. I mean, at least that’s what helped my bros back at home.”
It had been an issue back when his brothers were younger, but they had outgrown that phase quite fast, if Raph recalled well. To give credit where due, his Dee had been a lot more patient and understanding about the situation.
Then again, Dee also had easier access to resources, so most of the time he could replace whatever his brothers accidentally broke down without much of a fuss. This Donnie struggled a lot more to get his hands on the raw materials, not to mention the time invested in his inventions was longer due to the adaptations, since he had to substitute the “ideal” for what was “on-hand” often… Raph could understand why it would be more frustrating for this genius.
Donnie shifted his glare from Mikey to Raph. “Yeah, but your brothers are not at Mikey-level of—”
“Donnie,” Raph interrupted with a hard look. He was starting to get an idea of where Mikey’s “I’m stupid” comment was coming from.
“What?” the scientist crossed his arms defiantly.
Raph sighed, letting his hand fall from Donnie’s shoulder. “Ok, time off. Let’s chat again later, alright?”
His Dee also needed some time to cool down when he was in a mood. Raph turned around to leave the lab.
“You’re a jerk!”
“Mikey no,” Raph pulled the youngest down so the brothers couldn’t continue to stare (probably defiantly) at each other, cradling him against his chest instead. “We all need to cool down, let’s talk later.”
“If I’m such a jerk then stop asking me for stuff! I'm not making anything for you ever again!”
“You’re such a—” Raph pushed Mikey’s face against his plastron to muffle the rest of that sentence. He could feel the vibrations of the protesting screech.
“We’re taking a break, a time off!” Raph repeated as he rushed to leave the lab. “Let’s not get under anyone’s shell today, okay? Okay!”
“You’re not welcome in my lab Mikey! Ever!”
“Talk with ya’ later Donnie!” Raph replied eve more loudly, letting the metallic door slide close behind him as he finally released the youngest turtle—
“Owk!” who immediately kicked him under the chin, and he accidentally bit his own tongue hard. The rush of blood rolled over in his mouth, so he let Mikey jump off his arms in favor of raising his hands to cover his snout.
“You’re a jerk too! I had things to say, but you didn’t even let me speak! No one ever listens to me!”
Raph wanted to answer, but right now opening his mouth would end in nothing but a river of blood, and that would be hard to clean up. So, he had little option left but to watch as Mikey ran off to his room.
“Uh, what’s going on?” Leo turned the TV off, frowning inquisitively at Raph.
He made a wait hand gesture, walking over to the large body of water to finally spit it out—
“Dude, what the shell!” Rafa’s yell was a mix of concern and disgust, as he stepped away mid-game to hover at his right. “What even happened!?”
“Augh, that’s a lot of blood,” Leo looked quite pale, “really, really a lot.”
“It was an accss— ” Raph coughed unintelligibly, going on fours at the edge of the pool so he could submerge his head into the pinkish water, to be able to rinse off the rest of it. He sucked in and spit out water a few times, until he felt the sting of pain dissipate. If there was one thing Raph could thank the mutagen for, it was the increased healing rate it had gifted him and his brothers.
Pulling out of the water, he shook his head a couple of times. “I bit my tongue, but there’s no swelling. Raph’s good.”
“You call that good? Mikey, come back here!”
“It was just an accident, it’s cool,” Raph told his counterpart, attempting to pat him on the head and receiving a reflexive slap for his efforts. This family really wasn’t used to physical gestures of comfort.
“So what? Accident or not that was a lot of blood, and he doesn’t even know—”
“I’ll talk with him about it, just not right now. Little guy was upset, better give him a few minutes to cool down.” Mikey wasn’t one to hold a grudge, or at least, not if he was like his Mikey. Donnie on the other hand, if he was anything like his Dee… the scientist would probably need a handful of hours before they could try to approach the subject again.
“What were you fighting about?” Leo quirked an eyebrow, arms crossed. Oh wow, was that how Raph looked like when he was in mother hen mode? It was rare to be on the receiving end of that expression, the last time… it had been for the whole Frankenfoot mess, probably.
“Well?” Leo was now tapping a foot impatiently. Wow.
“I’m sure they’ll solve it once they’ve calmed down a bit,” Raph shook his head. It wasn’t his place to snitch on a siblings’ quarrel, not to anyone but Splinter anyhow, “but if it looks like it’ll escalate I’ll get some help, yeah?”
Leo frowned reproachfully. “That doesn’t answer my question. As the leader—”
“Oh no, I’ll stop you right there,” Raph huffed a laugh. “Leader privileges are only applicable for training and missions. Outside of that? You’re their brother and just their brother.”
Separating the team stuff from family matters was important. That said, it was funny just how much this Leo resembled his younger brother. The slider had tried to do that to him last month too! Raph had laughed at Leon’s face before clarifying that he was still the eldest, thank you very much, so if he asked him to pick up his dirty laundry he better do it or else.
“Well, I’m the eldest—”
“By what, five minutes?” Raph stared with a deadpan look, which made Rafa snort an entertained, “he’s got you there, Leo.”
“Shut up Raph! And by how much it doesn’t matter, it’s still my responsibility!”
“What? No, who told you that?” Raph tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but Leo stepped backwards and out of reach when he tried. They really were no good with physical gestures, okay. “It’s not your responsibility Leo, you guys are all the same age. Let them handle it, and if they can’t get it solved or it starts interfering with missions and the like, then just get Splinter to step in. That's all, really.”
“Oh please,” Leo scoffed with a glare, “like you don’t do the same with your brothers. Pot meet kettle?”
“I’m the eldest by four and five years,” Raph reminded him, “it’s different.”
“It really is not.”
“Holy— ok, alright, you can ask your Splinter once his meditation time is up. If he agrees with you then I promise I’ll tell ya’ the details. Deal?”
Leo shook his head in the same manner a disappointed parent would and left without another word and wow, this was Raph’s first time on the receiving end of that gesture. It was surreal.
“Ignore him, he has a stick up his—”
“NOPE! No, language, don’t say those things!” Raph hissed hurriedly, and judging by Rafa’s entertained smirk that was exactly the reaction he was looking for.
“Why? What’s wrong with telling the truth? He does have a—”
“Anyway!” Raph clapped loudly, “thanks for your concern Rafa, but I’ll take it from here.”
The smirk slowly turned into a frown as his smaller counterpart glanced in the direction of Mikey’s room.
“You sure you’re good?” Rafa asked, still not looking at him.
“Yeah, I’m tough as nails. Same as you, right?” Raph offered a fist bump, and Rafa snorted but did accept the gesture.
“Damn right.”
“Raph’s got this. Lemme go check on Mikey.”
“For the love of—” he could see the facepalm even without turning around, ”stop speaking in third person!”
“Sorry Rafa!” Raph laughed, waving at him without turning around.
His counterpart was a nice guy, he would like to spend more time together at some point. When they first came back to the lair Rafa had asked for a one-on-one spar, but immediately desisted with an annoyed “forget it,” when one of his brothers tried to tag along.
Raph surmised the spar was an excuse to be able to talk without an audience, so he inwardly bowed to ask for one in a chance. Right now, he needed to speak with Mikey.
“Hey, you good in there Mikey?” Raph asked once he was close enough to the room, but still couldn’t see inside. It was the least he could do considering there was no door to knock on. These kids really need some curtains or something, how else would they get a semblance of privacy?
“Shoo,” Mikey sniffed quietly.
“Ok, I’ll try again a bit later. Is… is giving up my portion of pizza a good bribe?”
A small chuckle, followed by a shaky, deep sigh. “Yeah… fine, you can come in.”
“Thanks little guy,” Raph stepped forward at last, gesturing in a silent question. Mikey scooted over to give him some space to sit down beside him, so Raph picked up an empty pizza box and did exactly that.
“...sorry for kicking you.”
Raph nodded. “Sorry for making you feel like what you have to say it’s not important. I thought it would be better for you guys to calm down before talking, but I shouldn’t have forced it like that.”
His brothers usually stopped once Raph picked them up to physically separate them. It had been a long, long time since any of them had attempted to continue fighting even with him there. He was out of practice and had reacted poorly.
Mikey looked at him like he had grown a second head. “You’re actually admitting to that?”
“Uhm, yeah? I was wrong,” Raph frowned. What else was he supposed to do?
“...please adopt me,” Mikey joked, which made Raph snort and lift an arm in silent offer. Mikey smiled and scooted over for a sideway hug. At last, a turtle that welcomed physical gestures of comfort.
Raph patted his arm reassuringly. “You guys are all the same age, it’s normal for you to butt heads more often. Heaven knows my Dee and Leon do, they’re The disaster twins.”
Mikey hummed, shifting on his seat restlessly as he tried and failed to get comfortable. Raph looked around, but at the lack of fidget toys he had to improvise. He ended up grabbing one of the empty cups and dropped inside a screw he found on the floor, twirling it a couple of times before handing it over.
Mikey grabbed the cup mechanically and repeated the motion, feet still moving restlessly. “You’re, like, a really good bro. Do fidget toys truly… help with the impulses?”
“Not all the time. It’s not a magical solution or anything, it’s just… an option, you know? We go through lots of trial and error to find the stuff that helps.”
Mikey looked sadly at his cup. “So all versions of me are like this.”
“You don’t think you’re the only one, do you? I’m Mr. Anger Issues, in case you haven’t noticed.” Mikey snorted at that. “Dee was— ugh, Dee was such a case, discovering the sensory issues was a pain in the shell. Back then I didn’t get why he would cry when I picked him up in a certain way, or for bath time, and why some foods were a no-go just by the consistency. He was crying and whining all the time and it was an absolute nightmare! And don’t get me started on Leon, his insomnia gave me insomnia—”
Mikey chuckled, in a slightly better mood. “Spiky Raph?”
“Hmm?”
“Thanks bro,” Mikey gave his plastron a friendly headbutt, “you’re really cool, you know that?”
“Aww, thanks little guy,” Raph nuzzled the top of his head out of habit, and Mikey snickered and pushed his snout away.
“Why do you do that?” Mikey huffed playfully, “you did the same thing to Donnie earlier, it kinda tickles.”
“I know, that’s why I do it to my bros,” Raph admitted with a smirk. “Gotta make use of my height, right?”
“Ohhh, so you are secretly a jerk.”
“Big bro privileges, I don’t make the rules,” Raph grinned mischievously, trapping the smaller turtle with one arm so he could nuzzle at the top of his head again.
“Hey! No longer cool, you’re a menace!” Mikey squeaked between laughs.
“Never claimed I wasn’t!”
(x)
Ok, so Mikey seemed to think that sending Raph first was the best course of action, which was a nice way to say he was being sacrificed to bear the worst of Donnie’s grumpy bluntness. Raph went through the same thing back at home, so he was kind of used to this already.
“Donnie?” Raph knocked at the metallic door, “can I come in?”
“Get lost.” Ok, so he was still kind of pissed but not so much as to still be yelling at everything that moved. He could work with that.
“Ok, I'll try again once I'm done explaining to Mikey that the Sun is a planet—”
“The sun is what,” Raph could hear the offense in that sentence. He was barely able to erase his smile as the garage door pulled up. “A star! The sun is a star, what are you teaching him!?”
“How do you know it’s a star? The size's more like a planet,” Raph tilted his head, giving the best confused frown he could.
“No, no, no, that’s wrong on so many levels,” Donnie sighed, gesturing for him to follow. “The sun is a star because it produces energy by the fusion reaction of Helium turning into Hydrogen. You don’t see Earth doing that, do you? Not a planet, the sun is not a planet.”
Raph agreed with a serious nod. “That makes sense. What about the moon though, is that a star or a planet?”
“Neither, actually. There’s a size requirement for an astronomical body to be labeled as—”
Raph let the scientist rant an explanation, making a couple of questions here and there to show he was listening. Then he pointed at the anatomical posters Donnie had of both, human and turtle, and asked to know more about how their mutation worked in that aspect, which made the familiar spark of interest light up to replace the previous you’re-such-a-dum-dum annoyance.
Now in a much better mood, they talked about Donnie’s medical discoveries for a long while. The topic was really interesting, Raph wished he could visualize what he was being told, wished that he could memorize more things. But as the time continued to pass and bedtime fast approached, he had little choice but to interrupt.
“You're so smart Donnie,” Raph praised honestly, “I can’t believe you’ve discovered all of that on your own, it must've been hard.”
Donnie grinned proudly. “Yeah, but it was entertaining too, so I loved every second of it.”
“That’s cool,” Raph nodded, scratching at the back of his neck sheepishly. “It was nice talking to you, but it's getting kinda late. Before I leave though… about happened earlier.”
Donnie's good humor evaporated, mouth thinning as he turned away from Raph’s expecting gaze. He frowned at the wall for a long, long moment, before finally whispering: “You took his side.”
“...what?”
“You took his side!” Donnie accused again, glaring at him. “You took him out of the lab and left me talking alone! You didn’t— you left with him instead of staying, we would have advanced a lot more if you had stayed , why would you even do that? Don’t you want to go home!?”
That was… unexpected.
Raph nodded slowly, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to find the right words.
“I'm… sorry I came across that way. I just wanted to separate you two, so you would stop yelling at each other, and since we were in your lab I figured we should be the ones to leave…”
“Mikey had to leave, not you. Why did you even step out?”
“I thought that was what you needed. My Dee is— my brother needs to be alone to cool down. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed you were the same… um.”
Donnie deflated with a long sigh. “Look, I just… I work, ok? That’s my thing, that’s what I do when I’m stressed, that’s how I manage it. And I really, really wanted to take another look at your ninpo, that was the plan for today.”
“And you don’t like it when plans change…?” Raph asked, because that was like his Dee, but it may not be true for this Donnie.
“I hate it,” Donnie scoffed, one palm pressing at his forehead as he avoided eye contact. “I have everything prepared beforehand, you know? I decide on which project I’m gonna focus on and I prepare the lab for it. When you left it ruined all of that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not fair. I had to rearrange everything last minute to focus on the Patrol Buggy, which I don’t know how to modify to include you, considering your complexion won’t even fit —”
“Uhm, I’m sorry?”
“— and while I was working on that my head was stuck on fidget toys! Why do I need to make fidget toys for Mikey? Why do I have to make all the stuff my brothers need? I have this whole list of stuff they want me to do, do they even care that I have to investigate how to make those things!? I wasn't born knowing everything! Just because I'm smart doesn't mean— ”
Oh, he had really opened the dam here. Raph let him rant, the poor genius certainly looked like he needed it.
“— and it’s not fair!” Donnie panted at last, grabbing at his head as if that would make the stampede of thoughts stop.
“You’re right Donnie,” Raph nodded in agreement, squashing down the impulse to pull him into a hug to rub comforting circles at the shell. He should ask first. “It’s not fair. There’s a difference between you doing them a favor and having everything be your responsibility. They shouldn’t expect you to do all of this, or to magically know how to do it either. And I’m— I’m sorry I asked you to make a fidget toy. We can search for those outside no problem, which is what your brothers should do for most of the things on that list, from what you told me.”
Donnie stared at him unblinking, so Raph hunched his shoulders and looked away, gesturing with his head towards the door.
“Uh, I think this is something you should mention to your Splinter. It sounds like… like things have been this way for a long time, so you’ll probably need his help to change things for good. You also need to say no when they ask for stuff, though. They’ll get mad at first, but they should understand after a while.”
Donnie stared some more, like Raph was some sort of puzzle he wasn’t sure how to solve. The scientist looked so genuinely lost, Raph gave a step forward on autopilot before catching himself.
“And I don’t mean to be pushy, but my big-bro senses keep tingling and I’d really like to give you a hug,” Raph pointedly didn’t move from his position. “If that’s ok with you, of course.”
“...you really said all that. Wow,” Donnie said at last, cautiously approaching, “you’re kinda weird.”
“...okay?”
“No, I mean that as a compliment. You’re a good weird.”
“Okay,” some things never changed, he supposed. Dee also struggled to express what he meant to sometimes.
Donnie hovered at his side, opening his arms indecisively. “Can you not hug too tightly though? Makes me feel trapped.”
“Yeah, sure,” Raph smiled and circled him in a very loose embrace. “You okay with shell rubs?”
“I guess…?”
Raph tried not to apply too much pressure, tried not to be too overwhelming and was ultimately successful, since Donnie sighed and slowly deflated against his plastron.
“Ok, shell rubs are definitely ok.”
He chuckled. “Noted.”
“...I almost pity my alternate version now. A softshell is too sensitive, no?”
“Not my place to say, buddy,” Raph said softly, picking the scientist up when he started to become too jelly-wiggly. “That’s a touchy topic for my bro, I’d rather not talk about it.”
Donnie yawned at his ear, carefully resting his cheek above his shoulder. Damn his spikes. “I wanted to try climbing up your shell too…”
“You can try another day Don, I’m not going anywhere,” Raph reassured, looking around in search of a bed or similar. “Where do you usually sleep?”
“On my arms, over the desk.”
“...my bad, where’s your bed?” Dee took things too literally as well, some times.
“Uh, why do you,” another yawn, “wanna know?”
“I’m giving you a big-bro lift, no fees attached,” Raph said simply, still giving comforting rubs to the shell.
“Hmm, ok, fair. It’s over there,” Donnie gestured lazily.
It was well hidden, Donnie probably had the most privacy out of all brothers. Bending down to fit through the entrance, Raph found another hammock. He tried not to stare too enviously at it.
“Here you go buddy. Sleep tight!”
“Uh-huh,” Donnie waved him away, eyes already closed as he curled into a fetal position, the lower portion of the face hiding in the shell. “G’night.”
Raph chuckled and left, carefully closing the garage door behind him as silently as possible. Walking across the living room, he found Mikey fast asleep on the couch — he had probably waited for a bit too long in hopes of talking with Donnie, how cute — and Raph mildly considered starting to charge a lift-fee as he picked the youngest up and took him to his unmade bed. Hmm, covers or no covers? Raph didn’t know, so he tucked him in just in case.
“Sleep tight little guy,” Raph patted the shell softly and exited the room, yawning into his palm. He was really tired.
“Spiky Raph?” Leo called as he crossed the living room to reach his own chambers. “You’re still up.”
“Yeah, but not for long,” Raph chuckled, blinking sleepily at him. “You?”
“Yeah, same… I just spoke with Master Splinter.”
Whatever the conversation was about, he seemed to still be reeling from it. He would probably stay awake for a long time, reflecting.
“Good luck buddy,” Raph waved dismissively, dragging his feet towards his room, “good night.”
“You don’t have to tell me, by the way.”
“...hm?” Raph halted against his wishes, squinting down at Leo. “What?”
“The details. You said you would tell me if Master Splinter agreed, but… you don’t have to tell me.”
Ahhhh.
Ah.
“That’s cool,” Raph smiled sincerely, “very cool.”
“Yeah…”
“...I’m gonna end up sleeping here if I don’t go, but my door is open tomorrow if you wanna chat. Eldest to eldest,” Raph patted his own chest, giving a big yawn at the end. He could feel his jaw snap right in the middle of it, awesome.
“Ouch, that sounded like a gunshot.”
“Eh, it's normal for me. Night, Leo.”
“Yeah, good night.”
Leo turned to leave in the opposite direction, and Raph slowly padded away, stumbling against the wall a couple of times. Where was the entrance to his room…?
“Watching you is just sad sometimes,” a familiar voice complained, but the smaller hands pulled at his wrist and guided Raph towards his room, so he wasn’t complaining.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, grabbing blindly at the beanbag to collapse over it, teddies included. “Night, Rafa.”
A soft sigh. “Same.”
All things considered, this had been a good day.
Notes:
FANART
Look at Rafa leading sleepy Raph it's so cute, I love it ahhhh QuQ *Incoherent squealing*AN
Baxter Stockman will be back at some point xD but for now the guy's in prison. He’s such a pitiful character, honest. The good guys treat him shitty, the bad guys are worse, and he’s just stuck in the middle of it all trying to survive while plotting murderous revenge. His motives are so basic tho, like, if you’re so good with tech just get a new job dude, stop the needless resentment.Anyway, this chapter was so much fun to write. MaleWife Rise!Raph, meet Motherhen 2012!Leo. You may now exchange tips on how to best suffer as the responsible/eldest brother of your respective trio of dumbasses <3
In this house we ignore canon Splinter less-than-stellar advice. Here he’s just a single-parent of four that doesn't focus on them individually as much as they need him to, and some things slip through his fingers. Someone has to pick up what he doesn’t, and that’s (usually) Leo. In specific areas the other three also pick up the burden, like Donnie as provider, Mikey for comfort/play/light things up, and Raph for protection.
Mikey’s tendency to push buttons at random in the series made me kin Donnie’s frustration, so I wanted to have the poor kid try to search for alternatives to the impulses. And then there’s Donnie’s whole situation I ranted about in my Tumblr post, so yeah. Character growth, I choose you! Let’s fix these things!
Anyway, thanks for reading! See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter Text
Team Leader
(9K words)
Raph had definitely overslept. By the time he finally padded outside his room the siblings were already bickering about something.
“What’s wrong with it? It’s a good recipe!” Mikey complained to his brothers. “Hey, Spiky Raph, try this.”
Raph, still half-asleep, grabbed the offered blender and swallowed half of the contents in a single gulp.
And by the Pizza Supreme in the Sky, it took everything in him not to throw up. He gagged and closed his eyes strongly, dropping the blender so he could cover his snout as a chorus of disgusted ‘eeeuuughhh’ exclamations ran out.
“Hey, don’t drop it!” Mikey admonished.
“Gross, I can’t believe you actually swallowed that,” Rafa seemed both pitying and unwillingly fascinated.
“I wanna throw up, eugh,” Donnie turned away, looking greener than usual.
“Do you know what you just drank?” Leo shivered, disgusted.
“I— I don’t want to know,” Raph was trying to keep the contents in his stomach, and the knowledge wasn’t going to help with that.
“It was vanilla ice cream, soy sauce, cheese, grape jelly and raw eggs with—”
“Mikey,” Raph grabbed the youngest by the shell to lift him like one would a cat, so he could stare him in the eye without having to bend down, because if he bent he was definitely going to throw up.
“Uh, yes?”
“Mikey, bro, pal, my little guy,” Raph said sweetly, a single eye twitching. He tried to smile but it probably looked more murderous than intended.
“...why do I feel like I’m in trouble?”
“Where, exactly,” Raph continued as if he hadn’t heard, “did you learn how to cook?”
“Learn? Ehm, trial and error…?” the turtle shrugged and that. That explained so many things.
“Ok, alright, and the reason Mikey cooks and not any of you is…?”
The other three siblings exchanged a glance.
“Leo broke the toaster trying to heat up pizza last time,” Rafa threw his brother under the bus.
“Last time Raph stabbed some oranges with his sais to try to make orange juice.” Not like Leo didn’t do the same.
“We’re not any better,” Donnie deadpanned uncaringly with a shrug.
Ok. Ok, Raph had this, he just had to count to ten, calm down—
“I’m the only one that doesn’t break anything in the kitchen, so I’m the family cooker!”
To twenty. Count to twenty—
“Cooking is an art, and in art everything goes! So pizza and ice cream can totally rock it—”
To a hundred, count to a— dang it!
“All of you, come with me to the kitchen!” Raph snapped with his ‘stop eating the poison’ voice, which made the turtles either straighten or reflexively jump off the couch. “Leave all weapons here. Ima teach you how to make toast and some scrambled eggs—”
“I’m not sure we—”
“We’ll improvise something with whatever is on the fridge!” Raph growled, glaring at the ceiling so he wouldn’t overfocus on a single turtle accidentally. “Just come with me, dang it!”
(x)
Ok, so they were bad. And he meant that in the it-hurts-to-watch-them bad. His little brother had cooked better when he was seven.
“Not bad,” Raph lied softly to Donnie, fully immersed in his eldest role, “but the eggshells don’t go into the pan. Try to take them out with the spoon, ok? Careful with the oil, position the pan like this so it doesn’t jump on you.”
“Mikey, you’re really creative and that’s something I admire most of the time,” Raph said sweetly, slowly prying the raw meat from smaller hands, “but if you try to mix uncooked meat with pizza again, I’m gonna have a stroke. Please limit yourself to the original recipe for now. Don’t try new things unsupervised.”
“I’m watching you, Leo,” Raph growled warningly without turning around. “Put the sword down.”
“It’s a katana—”
“Put it down. No weapons in the kitchen! ” What was he even trying to do!?
“Hah! In your face!”
“Rafa, the toaster will give you the bread back even if you don’t stare it to death— are those. Sais. What did I say about weapons in the kitchen!?”
“Hey, they’re gonna be hot once they pop out!” Rafa had zero regrets, and Raph was starting to reach zero patience. “I’m not burning—”
“The toast is not gonna burn your fingers, I’ll let you lord it over me if I’m wrong, but please put those down. No weapons in the kitchen!”
“How do I know when the eggs are ready?” Donnie asked somewhere behind him, and judging by the smell they were ready waaaay too long ago.
Raph tried not to scream.
(x)
“Something smells good,” Splinter praised as he stepped into the kitchen, half an hour after Raph had given up and decided to “teach by showing,” which meant he had gathered all four turtles in his arms, dropped them unceremoniously at his side, and explained out loud what he was doing as he prepared breakfast himself; using his tail to pull them closer whenever they stopped paying attention or tried to sneakily leave the kitchen.
Raph felt bad for throwing away food though, so he served himself their burnt attempt-at-cooking and left what he had cooked for the rest of the family.
“Spiky Raph cooks!” Mikey exclaimed brightly with a full mouth, so bits of half-munched food flew across the table, gross.
“Don’t speak with your mouth full,” Leo scolded before Raph could.
“I see, so not all hope is lost,” Splinter nodded at him with solemn amusement, and Raph wanted to simultaneously cry about his newly unlocked fear — any of these four unsupervised in the kitchen — and grab the rat mutant by the shoulders and shake him until he admitted why he hadn’t taught any of his sons how to cook.
“Master Splinter,” Raph squinted at the man as he sat down with them, “why?”
“Hmph, you think I did not try?” Splinter scoffed, quirking an unimpressed eyebrow. “You should have seen how they started.”
“Hey, it wasn’t that bad!” Mikey pointed at his father with a fork.
“Michelangelo, when you tried to serve cereal with milk the whole room almost burned down.”
“...ok, so maybe we were a little worse before.”
Raph’s face hit the table with a groan, fingers twitching as he ached for something to squeeze. Ugh.
“Mikey, Donnie,” he picked the less-hopeless teens, “I’m teaching you how to cook.”
“What, why me? Mikey can do it!”
“You can’t depend on a single person, Mikey could need bed rest at some point,” Raph gave the scientist a warning squint, “and you owe me.”
Donnie deflated and whined to the ceiling. “I already said sorry.”
“And I forgive you, I promise this is the last thing I’ll ask for.” The scientist reluctantly nodded, so he turned to face the youngest. “Mikey?”
“Good for me,” Mikey didn’t protest. “Why are you eating the burnt stuff, by the way? You were the one to cook these, and they’re good! We have more in the fridge too, if you wanna.”
“I don’t… like to waste food,” Raph shrugged while looking down at his plate. Draxum had fed him once per day, so it wasn’t like he could be picky about the taste, consistency, or how badly cooked the meal was, even though Raph hated that he loved the taste of undercooked meat.
“Your family had problems with food reserves?” Splinter asked, one ear tilted in his direction as a show of interest.
“Um,” Raph didn’t want to mention Draxum, “we were completely dependent on what pops brought back home, so…”
Splinter nodded in sympathy. “We did survive on worms and algae for years.” They what. “Going out meant being actively hunted, so there was a risk of me not coming back… not to mention I was leaving the tots to their own devices much too often, and the risk of them hurting themselves in my absence was quite high.”
“There’s nothing wrong with worms and algae,” Rafa reassured, even if he sounded grumpy and wasn’t looking at anyone as he said it. What a nice kid.
“Yeah, it was ok,” Leo wasn’t too far behind, he even managed to give a short smile to his father.
“That must have been difficult,” Raph nodded with renewed respect at this version of Splinter, “at least my pops could leave the tots to me. I was five, so old enough to take care of my things and look out for my brothers. I could smash the fruits with water to feed them, bathe them, play time, then tuck them in…”
He expected something akin to wishful envy from the rat mutant, but what he got was something more akin to pity and, oddly enough, suspicion.
“How long did it take… for your Splinter to get food?”
What a weird question.
“Two or three days, tops,” Raph shrugged, “but when he came back, it was with enough food to last for two weeks or so. He’d be tired after being out for so long…” so pops would lock himself up for another couple of days.
But after that he would come out to check on them. Play a little, usually from a distance. Cook some food, only slightly better than what Raph could do by himself. He wouldn’t tuck them in or bath them or feed them, but Raph could do that no problem. He was the big bro, the one that was biggest, so his pops could always rely on him.
Raph got tired sometimes, but asking for help was…
“Stupid claws get in the way of everything,” pops had admitted once, squinting hatefully at his hands. “Stupid mutation, stupid blurry vision, stupid everything!”
The tail had lashed out and destroyed a nearby chair, and Raph had flinched and inwardly settled on trying not to bother him too much, not if he could help it.
“...so he needed some alone time, but he could stay with us in the sewers for a good while,” he finished after a pause, “at least until we ran out of food again. Then it was rinse and repeat.”
“I need to go out, I’ll be away for a few days. You need to be a good, big boy, and take care of the tots until I come back, ok? Thank you, Red.”
His pops could be kind, soft and silly once he felt better. He just had bad days… and most of them happened when he was first mutated, too early for his brothers to recall, but not for him.
Pops was always too late to shield Raph from things, but right on time for his brothers.
But Raph didn’t mind, Raph got it. Adapting to the changes had been difficult for the legendary warrior Lou Jitsu, enough to warrant another name entirely. The rat mutant had picked Splinter as his new identity once he finally accepted that there was no going back and…
A clawed hand patted his forearm, snapping him out of his thoughts. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Ah… same. Surviving on algae and worms probably wasn’t easy.”
“I’m not talking about the food.” Huh? But what else was there to lament? “If you ever wish to meditate with me, I will welcome you.”
“Uhm, ok?” Raph frowned, confused, but Splinter simply nodded at him solemnly. If anything, the air felt a bit too solemn. There was something he was missing, something left unsaid; what was it?
Raph returned his gaze to his plate and hurried to empty it in big mouthfuls, stressed.
“Sooo,” Mikey drawled, puppy eyes activated in full force, “can we skate here, Master Splinter? Just like in the Lair Games!”
Splinter huffed through the nose, flatenning his ears against his skull to give a deadpan stare to the youngest. “For the last time, no. I shouldn't even have to say it; you cannot skate in the sewers.”
Raph relaxed at the change of topic, swallowing the rest of the food. “Where else are they supposed to do it?” he asked curiously to their Splinter. “From what Leo has said the surface here is more dangerous than my own. Where will they have fun, if not in their home, their safe place?”
Splinter squinted at Raph in what he mildly interpreted as a betrayed look — did he say something wrong? — before sighing and shaking his head in defeat.
“…I will think about it.”
“Heck yeah, Spiky Raph for president!” Mikey punched the air triumphally.
“Too soon, Mikey,” Donnie warned in a loud whisper, before turning to face his father with a too innocent look. “I could build up the ramps, make them as safe as possible.”
Splinter quirked an eyebrow. “I’m still thinking about it, Donatello.”
“We could replenish the first aid kit before starting, so we’re prepared to take care of small scratches and the like,” Leo added animatedly.
“Leonardo.”
“Leo could also take the breakable stuff out of the room before we skate, to avoid accidents,” Rafa pointed a thumb at his brother.
“Hey, why do I have to do it!?”
“Thank you for the meal, Spiky Raph,” Splinter smiled thinly, and Raph squirmed on his seat and nodded. “Sons. I’m thinking about it.”
“But when will you be done thinking?” Donnie asked impatiently.
“I’m also thinking about a new training regimen for you four,” Splinter warned, which made all of the teens flinch or make disgruntled faces. Was training a punishment for them, like it had been for Raph before pops rescued him?
“…take your time, Master Splinter,” Leo nodded much more quietly.
“I will, thank you Leonardo,” Splinter nodded once before leaving the room with his hands clasped behind his waist, back straight. Proper, always too proper… keeping that front up at all times must be tiring. His pops had at least watched marathons with them, talking about the movies, laughing, eating popcorn, playing hero or villain… but this man’s version of the TV was meditation, from what little Raph had seen, and that was still too formal to count as family time.
Did this version of Splinter ever get squished on the sofa with his sons surrounding him? What did they do to spend time together?
“Dude!” Mikey slapped his bicep excitedly, making Raph turn to face the table again, “that was so rad!”
Raph choked on thin air. “R-rad?”
Mikey raised a confused eyebrow, but was still smiling. “You know, short for radical?”
“Oh,” Raph sighed and returned the smile, “that makes more sense.”
“What did you think it meant?” Donnie asked curiously.
“Um… don’t laugh,” Raph scratched the back of his head, smiling nostalgically at the middle of the table. “When they were little my brothers sometimes called me dad, but— but Raph is Raph, so of course I corrected them! And they somehow ended up using the word "Rad" in their toddler years. Specially if they were scared, or worried, or sad…”
The air turned too solemn again.
“Or they wanted to make me growl at them!” Raph added with a chuckle. “We had a game around it. They would run all around me squeaking “Rad! Rad!” and I’d fake groan and run in circles to trap them, shaking them like a paint can in the air until they corrected it to Raph.” Except for Donnie, whom he would just encircle loosely with his arms because anything else ended up in loud wailing, but that wasn’t relevant.
“That sounds fun!” Mikey’s plate was empty now, and before Raph noticed the youngest was already out of the seat and crawling up his shell, patting heartily at his shoulder once he was positioned. “Me! Me! Shake me!”
Raph snorted and nudged him with his head.
“You know, even with the new meaning Mikey’s previous statement still rings true,” Donnie smirked, entertained, but Raph couldn’t remember what exactly the youngest had said, so he just shrugged his unoccupied shoulder.
“If you say so?”
“Ok, if everyone is done with breakfast,” Leo rose from his seat, already picking up his and Mikey’s abandoned plate, “then let’s have a strategy meeting. We need to patrol today, refocus on finding Krang.”
That sounded odd. For Raph, patrol meant stopping any bad guys they stumbled on, and missions were the ones where the team was in lookout with a specific objective in mind. As for the Krang…
“Leo, why are you looking for the Krang?” Why were they so involved with robot aliens?
“Because the bastards kidnapped April’s dad,” Donnie was the one to answer with a heavy frown, “we need to rescue—”
“April?” Raph gasped, “you guys have an April— wait, her dad!? Why would the Krang take him—”
“We don’t know!”
Raph had intended to wash the dishes, but in light of this new revelation he wordlessly passed his plate to Leo and trailed behind Donnie, who was going through the explanation of what had happened not long before Raph landed in this world.
(x)
Raph was going to punch as many Krang as he could get his hands on.
“So we get in, investigate what they’re keeping in that warehouse and see if we can find any labels with the location of their headquarters—”
“Leo,” Raph interrupted, frowning at the map of NY City that was extended on Donnie’s desk, “what if we trap one of the Krang to make them speak? About where they’re keeping April’s dad, or why they kidnapped him in the first place—”
Leo scoffed and crossed his arms. “They call for reinforcements too fast, and we can’t exactly take one of those things back here. What if they can communicate with each other even without their tech? We would be risking them finding our home.”
Raph nodded. “We could drag them to a third location for questioning, then? Maybe—”
“No, if we end up being ambushed—”
“No, no, I wasn’t talking about an open space. If we could find something like a warehouse—”
“Oh, you mean the ones that have security cameras? Those?” Leo said sarcastically, “Do you want the whole world to see us!?”
“What? No!” Why was Leo so difficult!? It was one thing to reject ideas, but there was no need to get defensive about brainstorming. “We would need to prepare it beforehand or, or maybe find an abandoned—”
“Ok, that’s enough,” Leo tapped the map impatiently, “Spiky Raph, you need to follow my plans. I’m the leader, and you admitted yesterday that you didn’t know a thing about how this world works, so stop being such a— such a Raph, and listen to me!”
It was said like… that was meant to be offensive.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Rafa glared, shoving his brother harshly.
“What do you think?” Leo snapped and shoved him right back. “You can’t follow a single order without nitpicking or whining or—”
“I don’t whine, and it’s not my fault your plans are plain STUPID sometimes!”
“My plans are not stupid! You guys just don’t follow them properly—”
Raph sighed tiredly. “Time off, let’s take a break,” he instructed, as it was starting to become custom, and picked both brothers by the shell to keep them apart.
“Don’t treat me like a child!” Leo protested, trashing in the air in a vain effort of getting free.
“I’m not a baby, Raph!” Mikey’s voice echoed in his mind.
“I’d watch your sorry shell if I were you,” Rafa pointed a warning finger at his brother. “You owe me now!”
“For what? I was just saying the truth! You’re always—”
“By the Pizza Supreme in the Sky, stop!” Raph growled loudly, surpassing the younger voices, “Leo, apologize.”
“See! I told you!”
“Me? ME!? Why should I—”
“Being ‘a Raph’ is NOT an insult, and I don’t want to hear anything along those lines ever again,” Raph snarled, lifting his arm so he could give a hurt look at this team’s ‘leader’.
Leo froze mid-trashing, looking frightened, so Raph sighed and relaxed his expression, letting the hurt and sadness leak through more directly.
“There’s nothing wrong with me being me, or Rafa being Rafa, or you being you,” Raph said more softly, “so please. Not again. If you want to call me stubborn or uncooperative that’s ok, but don’t try to use my own identity as an insult. I’m a Raph, in the same way you’re a Leo, and there’s nothing wrong with either of those things. Can we agree on that, at least?”
Leo thinned his lips and looked away, silently brooding.
“For fuck’s sake, Leo—”
“Language,” Raph said on autopilot.
“—just say sorry!” Rafa crossed his arms, still glaring at his brother.
“So you can rub it on my face?” Leo glared right back and oh, alright, that explained why getting an apology out of him was so stupidly difficult.
Raph let his counterpart down so he could use both arms to grab the blue-clad turtle by the armpits, slowly getting on a knee so Leo could stand on his own two feet again, even if Raph kept the torso trapped in his palms.
“Leo, it’s ok to make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes; that’s how we learn, that’s how we get to be better people. There’s nothing to mock,” Raph gave a warning glance to the other three turtles in the room, “about something as natural as apologizing when due.”
Leo’s head, which had been partially getting into his shell in a clearly embarrassed gesture, got out and back to normal at that, even if he was still avoiding Raph’s gaze.
“…I’m sorry.”
“Good start,” Raph praised with a tired smile, releasing the torso to pat his upper arm encouragingly, “might want to repeat that to Rafa, yes?”
Leo sighed, but did force himself to face his brother to repeat a much more reluctant: “Sorry… Raph.”
Rafa, who had been standing tensely with his arms crossed, huffed through the nose and nodded once, turning his face away from them to frown at the lab’s entrance. “Yeah, ok.”
“Thank you both,” Raph sighed sincerely, because if Rafa had mocked Leo (as it was probably custom among the siblings) the bickering would have started all over again and he didn’t have the energy to put up with that right now. “Ok, so… for tonight’s patrol we’re following your plan.”
Leo seemed surprised at that, turning his head up to blink at him. “You’re not fighting me anymore?”
Sweet heavens. “Leo, I wasn’t fighting you. I don’t mean to undermine your strategy, or be contradicting just because,” Raph clarified softly, because it was obvious this kid was just starting to get used to the Leader role, which explained why he was so reluctant to bounce ideas with his team.
The reluctance to appear as anything other than the competent, all-knowing leader figure he wanted to be.
“You don’t?” the teen seemed dubious.
“No,” Raph was starting to get tired, but he stayed on a knee because being at their level was important for these conversations, “I was just trying to give new ideas, so we could see what works and what doesn’t, and plan for something either for tonight or for later down the road. Being the leader doesn’t… mean you have to know everything, or get everything right on the first go. It’s ok to listen to your team, to bounce ideas with them so they’ll catch stuff that you don’t, and the original plans can improve.”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because any semblance of understanding disappeared as Leo crossed his arms defensively.
“My plans are not stupid—”
Dang it. “I’m not saying they are—”
“— and what would you know about leading, anyway? Stop talking like you know everything, you don’t!”
“Stop acting like you’re our dad, Raph! You’re not!!”
Raph clenched his jaws shut, jerking his hand away from Leo’s shoulder as if burned.
“…I need a time off,” Raph admitted in a whisper, chest heaving up and down in quick, silent breaths, calm down, calm down, calm down.
He quickly stood up, walking with long strides towards the lab’s exit without meeting anyone’s gaze.
“Spiky Raph?”
“No Mikey,” Raph denied softly, still not facing anyone. “Please, just… leave me alone for a bit.”
“You’re an idiot, Leo,” he could vaguely hear Rafa admonish angrily behind his back, “he said he went to the surface at twelve. Who was going to lead that, his eight-year-old brother? Huh?”
“I’m not an idiot!” Leo sounded embarrassed though.
“Guys, I think you’re missing the point—”
“Shut up Donnie,” Leo snapped defensively, “just— let’s just take a break.”
“Wow, finally a good idea!” Rafa said sarcastically, which was the last thing Raph heard before he took a dive at the lair’s pool, effectively drowning out the bickering voices.
At last, all semblance of sound completely ceased to exist once he swam to the bottom, tail curling around him as he laid on his plastron. Ugh, Raph hadn’t broken down so many heated quarrels since… since when? Dee and Leon had a phase where they couldn’t stand each other somewhere around thirteen, before becoming inseparable a few months later, probably after a heart to heart where one or both parties exploded.
Hmm… regardless, he was out of practice, or perhaps he had gotten too used to his brothers being able to solve things on their own without him meddling at every bump on the road. Interfering when the air was charged so heavily was… tiresome, much more so with Leo and Rafa than it was with Mikey and Donnie, for some reason.
“My plans are not stupid!”
“Do you really think I can’t be a good leader?”
He shook his head. No, no, Raph had never thought that; he had never meant to imply anything of the sort. Leon was learning, his younger brother was…
“Spiky Raph, you need to follow my plans.”
“Then why? It feels like every time we go out you always have something against the way I—”
Raph covered his face with his hands and shivered. He wanted to see his younger brother, he wanted to see Leon and hug him and reassure him that he was doing a good job. Leon was just… still learning, but that was fine, it was a process, these things took time and that was okay…
“Don’t treat me like I’m a child!” At that moment he hadn’t been holding Leo but Mikey, his Mikey, who was tired of being treated as the baby brother Raph would always see him as.
“So you can rub it on my face?” Leo had sounded so defensive. Even worse, Raph had understood the sentiment immediately.
His brothers were always more forgiving on each other’s mistakes than they were of Raph’s, since he was supposed to be the eldest, the responsible one, the one that knew better…
Frankenfoot’s whole mess came to the front of his mind, and he shook his head harshly to disperse the bittersweet memory.
“Stop acting like you’re our dad, Raph! You’re not!!”
The words had hurt so, so much. Raph didn’t fault Leon, he had been eight at the time, he didn’t understand, he couldn’t see the whole picture. But even after so many years had passed, Raph could still hear the words as clear as he did back when he was twelve.
Ok, so Leo triggers you a bit, we can keep that in mind, yeah? Mind Raph whispered soothingly. We’ll handle it better next time. For now it’s ok to take a break, you need your space too.
They were still bickering when he left them though. He hadn’t solved anything in the end…
Hey, hey, none of that. Be kind to yourself! Rome wasn’t built in a single day, give ‘em time! And you’re a good big bro, Mikey said so yesterday, remember?
Yeah. Yeah, that had been nice…
Closing his eyes, Raph settled on not rising to the surface until his time limit was up.
(x)
Taking a break was what Raph had needed.
“Follow the plan,” Leo frowned defensively at the whole group, standing tense at the edge of the rooftop.
“I would if it weren’t stupid,” was the immediate response from his counterpart and shit, taking a break had not helped them solve the issue in the slightest. “We found this one too easily, it’s an obvious trap.”
“From what April has shown us, the Krang have been spotted on video in all their robot glory a few times. It’s not like they’re very clever or discrete, and this is our perfect chance to learn more so stick. To. The. Plan.”
A short pause of tense silence stretched over them.
“Raph’s got it, I’ll follow your lead!” he flexed an arm, hoping to break the group’s tension and reassure Leo at the same time. Being a good leader took time, the kid was obviously trying hard and Raph could sympathize with him.
Leo stared at him, surprised, before turning to give Rafa a victorious smirk.
“Don’t let that get to your head,” Rafa rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, and maybe his attempt at lightening things up just made it worse. Great. This was the reason his Mikey was usually the one to break the team’s tension whenever something happened…
The smirk turned into a frown as Leo shook his head like a fed-up parent. “Just— just stick to the plan.”
(x)
The plan… not to be rude or anything, but the plan went to shit within the first minute.
Which was fine, honestly, plans rarely followed small details. That was the reason Raph had always focused more on the general target of the mission than he had on how it was accomplished—
“And the medal for the worst leader goes to— !” Rafa yelled from one side of the room as he was forced to take cover behind a column.
Raph grabbed a robot by the ankle and threw it against the ones attacking him, to give the angry teen an opening to move out of there.
“Who says I'm the worst leader!?” Leo replied from the opposite side, and Raph’s heart ached as he heard genuine hurt in his voice.
“If you had bothered to listen, we wouldn’t be stuck in this mess! An empty warehouse—” Rafa pierced a robot’s head with his sais, “—filled with nothing but Krang, because IT’S A TRAP!”
“Booyakasha!” Mikey took down three robots in a great show of physical dexterity, covering for Leo's blindspot.
“Less talking, more fighting!” Donnie added as he tripped a robot with his bo staff, kicking it in Raph’s direction. He nodded wordlessly and punched it to pieces.
“The present is the right time for Krang to perform the test of the energy cannon, the one Krang wanted to test,” one robot said to another and what, cannon!?
“Don’t abandon your position!” Leo ordered as all four siblings landed in a semi-circle close to Raph, but that was a goddamn cannon, what the heck was he even thinking—
“Power Smash Jutsu!” Raph let the red energy cover his arms as he abandoned the formation, jumping above allies and enemies alike as he punched from above the big machine they had been wheeling out of a pair of sliding doors.
The crash of bending metal welcomed his ears, and he felt victorious for the one second it took for it to start cackling with electricity, buzzing like a set-off beehive and shit, the thing was going to explode, wasn’t it?
He barely had enough time to raise his free hand to cover his face when the thing blew up. It was a false alarm though, the thing exploded in a manner similar to a busted old TV, so Raph didn’t feel anything. Ok, that could have been worse, phew.
“The turtle that Krang doesn’t have historical data of, is a problem for Krang, just like the other already-known turtles.” These things spoke so weirdly. Not like Raph was one to criticize, he hadn’t learned how to speak well until after he turned… seven, probably? Quite late, if he used his little brothers for comparison.
“What part of stay in position you didn’t get?” Leo scolded as he slashed to pieces the talking couple of robots, the brain-like aliens sliding away with an angry screech.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Raph scoffed incredulously as he grabbed a robot by the head and slammed it against another three. “It was a cannon, if they actually shoot that at us—"
“We would have… stopped it somehow,” the excuse was probably weak to his own ears, because Leo didn’t insist after that. Ok, so he was still working on admitting to mistakes, that was understandable. Raph could let it drop.
The fight continued until, at last, all the robots were taken down and the slimy aliens slid away with a mix of angry screeches and hisses.
“Ok,” Leo sighed, tired. “Let’s go back—"
“Why so soon?” Rafa glared at his brother, palms on his knees as he panted. “Your plan was to check the boxes— oh, wait, there aren’t any! This was a trap! AS I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE!”
Donnie grabbed Mikey by the shoulders and pulled him back, out of the way of the other two. Leo and Rafa were now close enough to yell at each other's faces, and Raph automatically stepped closer to interfere—
…then he remembered how well that went last time and hesitated, so he ended up hovering worriedly at the sidelines, tail tapping the ground uneasily.
“I’d be more willing to listen if you didn’t question my orders all the time!”
“Stop giving terrible orders and I won't have to question them!”
“You think being leader is easy?” Leo hissed, angry enough to get tearful, which made Raph flinch and finally step forward to separate them.
“We— we need a break—"
“You know what?” Leo harshly slapped Raph’s hand away, taking a couple of steps back. “Since you think you can do it so much better than me; go ahead! You lead now!”
“Finally a good idea!” Rafa yelled with a heavy scowl, stepping forward and into Raph’s awaiting palm, allowing himself to be stopped. Ok, so he was kind of aware…
“Rafa,” Raph whispered sadly.
His counterpart froze up and stopped trying to advance, even if he was still glaring and heaving. At least the teen didn’t step away, if they were anything alike the poor kid would need physical contact to calm down.
“Ok Raph, the team is yours. I'm out of here,” Leo scoffed with a rough shake of the head, words still leaking of hurt as he jumped out of a nearby window.
A long pause of silence stretched over them.
“…I can't believe he actually left,” Mikey whispered.
“Don't worry Mikey, Leo just… needs a bit of space,” Donnie reassured softly, giving a couple of pats at his shell.
“Rafa—"
“Whatever,” Rafa huffed, finally stepping away from Raph as he walked to the exit with long strides, his back to the group. “Come on, the mission won't complete itself. What's the best way to find something actually useful, Donnie?”
“Um. I need to think…”
“Then think fast!” Rafa snapped, finally turning around, “time won’t stop just because—“
“Rafa,” Raph interrupted firmly, stepping in front of Donnie with a raised palm. “Wait, please. We need a break, let’s go back and—”
The screech of a beast resonated somewhere close by, and all difficult emotions were replaced with surprised confusion as Rafa, and everyone in the warehouse, turned towards the source of the sound.
“What was that?” Raph whispered, stepping closer to his counterpart.
“Snakeweed?” Mikey tilted his head, incredulous. “But didn’t he burn to death back then…?”
Wait, they actually tried to kill their opponents!?
“He regenerated the arm Leo cut off in a matter of seconds,” Donnie muttered softly to himself, and Raph choked at the casual admission of dismemberment. “If the core managed to survive, then maybe he…”
“He’s begging to get his face kicked again,” Rafa huffed, sais already on hand. “Let’s get to it before any people are harmed.”
“Wait, s-so you guys actually go for the kill…?”
The teens exchanged a glance.
“I mean, it’s either them or us most of the time,” Donnie made a so-so gesture.
“Leaving them off to escape would just endanger the citizens,” Rafa said with a hard stare, “we stop them however we can.”
Raph relaxed his shoulders and nodded. He could understand that; the Mad Dogs had left plenty of villains to their own devices often enough, like Repo Mantis with his murderous cat, and Ghostbear frozen in the middle of the park. It wasn’t like they ever went with killing intention, but they weren’t going to risk themselves or those they loved just to ensure the enemy’s safety either.
….
…
Speaking of Repo Mantis, this guy looked like a cross of mantis and carnivorous plants… kind of like the mutant’s cat, now that he thought of it. The plant mutant was enormous, with a pair of pincers that seemed to serve as the main arms, and multiple thin tendrils moving wildly all around.
“HELP!” the poor delivery man yelled, caught in one of the pincers.
The mutant hissed. “Shut up, Fertilizer!”
“Hey, not the pizza man!” Mikey yelled indignantly, instantly giving away their position, “you’re not getting away Snakeweed!”
They all jumped off the rooftop as a series of tendrils slapped the area.
“Fertilizer is not even that hard to get, why are you using people?” Donnie frowned in a familiar “how dumb can you be?” manner, raising his bo staff (like a bat?) to try to get a hit on the head, and getting swapped away by a pincer in the process.
Rafa had gotten a similar treatment the second he landed, a bit too close to the mutant's feet, and both brothers rolled on the ground to swiftly regain their footing in a smooth movement, regrouping with Raph and Mikey.
“How are we going to rescue the pizza man?” Mikey said as he moved out of the way of a green whip.
“I’m more worried about us at the moment,” Donnie huffed, “Leo’s katana works best against this one, but he’s not here."
“We don’t need Leo,” Rafa scoffed as he took a stance, “we can do this ourselves. Just aim to the head!”
“Roger that,” Raph nodded and jumped off, assuming Rafa knew of the villains’ weakness from a previous confrontation. “Power Smash Jutsu!”
Several things happened at once.
Numerous vines wrapped painfully around his calves — they had thorns, which were carving deeply into muscle, shit — and pulled him downward, which technically meant the villain’s head was out of reach.
Raph reacted to that by pushing the projection away, so the red fist was now floating in front of his arm instead of coating it***, and punched the guy directly in the face, even if it wasn’t as hard as he would have liked it to be.
Snakeweed stumbled backwards with an angry hiss, and from his peripheral he could see Mikey and Rafa rescuing the delivery man as Raph slammed shell-first against concrete.
The motion left him dizzy, vision blurring out and darkening at the edges— wait, this wasn’t normal.
“Ugk,” he tried to move his arms, to get up, to do anything, but he could barely make his fingers twitch. Definitely not normal. What…
“Oh no,” Donnie’s voice muttered worriedly from… somewhere close by. Raph couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, his whole body was shivering uncontrollably and he could feel his temperature raising. “Guys, I think the thorns are toxic! Don’t let them impale you!”
“What do you mean toxic!?” Rafa’s voice echoed from somewhere far away. “Nothing happened last time we— ouph!”
“They’ve never stabbed us like this, we just had superficial scratches last time. Besides, Spiky Raph has enhanced healing, his body naturally processes things at a faster rate and that includes toxins—”
“A SUMMARY, DONNIE!”
“QUICK HEALING ALSO MEANS QUICK POISONING!” was the last thing Raph heard before the buzzing in his ears drowned the rest of the noises.
Shit, he was a sitting duck now. Would they even be able to move him so he wasn’t in the way? If Leon were here, he would have opened a portal to get him out… and if Leo were here, he would know to focus on his brothers’ safety. Raph could take a hit, he would be fine even if left alone.
Hopefully someone would make the right call, he wished internally before finally losing consciousness.
(x)
(x)
(x)
“Raph, we’re losing!” Mikey yelled, worried.
“YOU THINK!” Raph exclaimed as he rolled to soften the landing, having been slapped away from the plant mutant. Again.
“Think of something, think! Leo said you were leader— ack!” Mikey was too slow to evade the pincer, so he slammed shell-first against a wall. Raph worried for a second, but Mikey bounced back and closer to him quickly enough.
He let out a relieved sigh. Mikey was fine, the problem was the big guy. “Donnie, get him out of here!”
“Have you seen his size!? We need at least three to drag him!” Donnie yelled, bo staff rolling like crazy as he stood in front of the downed snapper, trying his best to fend off the whip-like tendrils that sometimes headed in their direction.
Raph charged forward again, because he needed to protect them, distract the enemy, give a window of opportunity for Leo to—
Shit, shit, fuck. Leo wasn’t—
“Ougk!” Raph failed the landing roll, body scrapping harshly against concrete.
“Raph!” Mikey called, sounding absolutely terrified, “Raph, what do I do, how can I help!?”
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!
“Go with Donnie, get out of here!” Raph yelled, forcing himself to stand up again, “I’ll distract it!”
“We’re not leaving you behind!” Mikey immediately rejected, dashing closer to him instead, but what else could they do, for fuck’s sake—
“Mikey don’t—”
“BOOYAKASHA!”
“MIKEY!” Raph was now the one that sounded absolutely terrified, because a whip had sent Mikey crashing headfirst against the wall, and he wasn’t moving, his little brother wasn’t moving.
Raph scrambled on fours, evading the attacks as he slid to a halt beside Mikey. No, no, no, wake up, wake up—
“Raph, I need a hand over here!” Donnie yelled from somewhere behind and shit, shit, shit!
“Mikey is down!”
“Two down!? Then what do we do!”
“I— I don’t know!” Please Mikey, please Leo, please anyone, please. He wanted to hug his brothers close and magically teleport them out of here.
“Raph!” Donnie called and shit, he forced the fantasy aside, forced himself to look away from his unresponsive little brother.
“The cables!”
The cables?
Raph looked up and indeed, there was an electric post with a multitude of cables tangled up, right at the perfect height to, at least, immobilize the plant mutant temporarily.
“Got it!” Raph exclaimed, dragging Mikey so he was hidden between the dumpsters, as out of harm’s way as he could be at the moment.
“LIKE A—”
Big guy woke up? Raph turned right on time to see a glowing red fist punching Snakeweed’s throat very, very hard. Hard enough for the plant to explode in a rain of green pieces coated by pink liquid.
“— Boss…!” his counterpart panted heavily as he fell on his knees, still sweating bullets.
“Ohhh, so you process the toxins out of your system in a matter of minutes too, that’s why your body reacted so strongly, so quickly.”
“No use… for sick soldiers,” the snapper panted at the ground, visibly shivering. “Just… a minute. Will pass.”
“Ok, let me know if it doesn’t,” Donnie nodded, jogging around him to get closer to the dumpster. “Raph, how’s Mikey?”
“He— he’s not waking up,” Raph dragged his brother closer, until his head could rest on his lap. “Donnie, please.”
“On it, Raph,” Donnie said without looking at him, a hand checking Mikey’s forehead, then his pulse, then his pupils. “He’s out of it, but at first glance seems well. I’ll give him a complete check-up once we’re back just in case, but he should be fine.”
Raph deflated in relief, letting the back of his head fall against the wall. “Ok.”
“Let me look at you.”
“Yeah, ok,” Raph was too tired to fend off Donnie, so he let his brother grab his wrists, turn them around this way and that, let him poke in random places— actually, he was pretty sure he was poked at more times than strictly necessary.
He closed an eye when a finger got too close; little shit was messing with him at this point. Raph gave a warning glance at his brother.
“Wow, you’re really out of it if you’re still not stopping me,” Donnie snickered as he poked at his cheek, the bastard.
Raph grabbed the offending finger to twist it, and Donnie hurried to squeak: “ok, ok, you’re back, I give!”
“Mikey?” the snapper called tentatively, slowly approaching. He looked tired, but otherwise fine. “What happened?”
“Got a hit to the head so he's unconscious; the preliminary diagnosis is looking good though,” Donnie reassured, “help us carry him back home?”
The snapper nodded, getting on a knee so he could carefully cradle Mikey agasint his chest, who looked ridiculously small in his hold. Raph and Donnie would have had to put a limp arm behind their shoulders, work together to get Mikey back to the lair, but his counterpart could carry his little brother in a single massive arm—
And suddenly Raph had no more visual input, because the other arm had circled his shoulders and was now pushing his head against plastron.
“You did good, Rafa. I’m proud of you.”
…what.
“We rescued that poor guy, defeated the plant mutant, and saved the day.”
What.
“You had no way of knowing this was going to happen, and you did the best you could with what you had,” the arm squeezed him closer, voice growing softer. “Everything will be ok, everyone will be fine.”
Shit, why did he want to cry—
“So let’s get back home so Donnie can take another look at Mikey, okay?”
In the end Raph couldn’t do anything but nod, forehead still pressed against the plastron as his arms shivered at his sides.
What's the matter Raph; gonna cry? Leo's voice taunted in his head.
He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, body trembling as he contained the tears. He didn’t want to start crying, he wasn’t a crybaby, his brothers would never let him live it down if he—
“Sorry for overstepping, but I’m gonna carry you back home too,” the snapper’s voice was louder and firmer now. “Don’t argue with me, or else.”
Raph froze up, eyes opening wide. The angry growl was deep and threatening, a clear warning.
It was a front, a charade, a fake. Raph knew it because he did the same when he wanted to appear tough in front of his brothers, even when he was inwardly crying.
Specially when he was inwardly crying.
Raph grunted and deflated against the snapper, pressing his face closer to the plastron so he could hide his relieved smile from Donnie. He didn’t have to be strong now, he didn’t have to keep up appearances anymore.
“Smart choice,” the big guy snapped, keeping up the charade as the arm moved to support him under the knees, carefully picking him up. “Donnie, we’re leaving.”
“Um, I know Raph can be kinda— uh, kinda hard to like and everything, but please don’t speak to him like that,” Donnie’s voice was quivering yet firm, and Raph felt a rush of warmth for his brother.
“I won’t if he lets himself be taken care of,” his counterpart huffed self-righteously. “He’s got bruises all over, and— and I know I’m probably exaggerating but I really would rather he avoid any unnecessary effort until he can rest properly.”
“Oh right,” Donnie sounded relieved, “you’re a Rad.”
The snapper snorted and gave a playful growl. “Careful there, Dee. Although you've got some scratches too... if you wanna a ride, you can crawl up my shell?”
“I’m not particularly injured,” Donnie’s voice was moving though, “but since you’re offering…”
Raph curled so his expression would be hidden away from his brother, who was now perched above a shoulder while looking absurdly proud of himself.
“Wow, not a scratch?”
“Not a scratch!” Donnie snickered with glee, “I studied the position of the spikes and calculated the optimal path to reach the shoulder, and it was a success! On the first try, woohoo!”
A soft chuckle. “That’s awesome Donnie.”
“I know!”
“You are awesome, Donnie.”
“…I know?”
“You noticed the cables and thought about electrocuting the mutant to defeat it, right? That was a very smart observation to make while in the heat of it!” the big guy sounded proud. “I’d probably have stuck to punching in different places until I finally got a weak spot, that’s how bad I am at battle strategy.”
Raph… would have done the same thing, probably. If he hadn’t panicked, that is.
“Oh.”
“You should give yourself a pat on the back,” the snapper continued, and Raph risked a glance upward to see him nudge Donnie with his head. “I would, but my arms are kinda full at the moment.”
“Oh,” Donnie repeated like a broken record, apparently too perplexed to function.
“Hmm… pizza…” Mikey mumbled drowsily, and Raph’s whole body sagged in utter relief as he smiled at his little brother, who was grossly drooling in his sleep, like always, so he was fine.
“That’s Mikey for you,” Donnie chuckled.
The snapper hummed in agreement, and they moved under the moonlight in peaceful silence.
“I hope Leo got back home safely,” his counterpart sighed after a while, “poor kid looked like he needed some space.”
All semblance of peace left as anger spiked up. Poor kid? Poor kid!? After how shitty Leo had acted all day! Leo had been shitty enough to make the snapper leave the room without another word and the guy wasn’t even a bit resentful about it— ?
Wait.
Kid.
Raph’s mind conjured the image of one of those cartoons Mikey liked to watch when they were younger. One of a big dog laying on a carpet, relaxed even with multiple puppies tugging at long ears and small paws batting at the wagging tail.
Huh.
The snapper would never snap (heh) at them, no matter what they did or said. Raph was as certain of it as he was that the sky was blue.
On one hand, that was a good thing. Even if they managed to push at the big guy’s buttons, cornered him into a fit of anger, it wouldn’t get bad enough to evolve into a physical confrontation or a yelling match, it wouldn’t actually hurt anyone.
On the other hand, he and his brothers could easily cause a lot of one-sided damage, accidental as it may be, as Mikey’s tantrum and Leo’s stupidly good reflexes demonstrated yesterday. As Leo’s shitty attitude proved today, because he was stupid—
“Guys,” his counterpart said once they were closer to the lair.
“Huh?” Raph snapped out of his musings, lifting his head up just in time to see Donnie yawn a “yeah?”
“Being Team Leader is kinda hard. I can see Leo still has many things to learn but… lend him a hand, would ya’?”
“Sure,” Donnie sighed, eyes closing again.
“I’ll smack him whenever he’s being stupid,” Raph nodded seriously, which made his counterpart snort and roll his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, just… be kinder when something goes wrong. Things can go downhill pretty fast sometimes,” he was looking at Mikey as he said it, and Raph felt a weight drop in his stomach as he was reminded of the what-ifs of today’s battle.
“...yeah,” Raph admitted at last.
“Rafa, hey,” the snapper called while lifting the arm carrying him, so Raph cursed in surprise and glared up. “Everybody makes mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow to be better people, yeah?”
…damn softie. Big, spiky, and full of moronic gentleness.
“Yeah, alright,” Raph agreed more softly.
The snapper grinned down at him, the thin scars on his face highlighted by the movement. The guy had gone through some shit already. He had old scars all over, even though he was supposed to be able to heal quickly, and the stuff he mentioned when explaining the savage episodes sounded shaddy as fuck.
“Thanks Rafa, ya’r nice.”
Raph snorted, now that was a first. His counterpart was the nice one. Too nice, actually, Raph still couldn't understand how the guy kept that up even when his brothers were being shitty to him. Mainly Leo, the damn douche…
He crossed his arms and looked away, frowning at the wall.
Whatever, if the guy wasn’t going to defend himself from his brothers’ overall stupidity then Raph would. He had always been the one to protect his family from stuff anyway, adding another turtle to the list didn’t change anything.
Notes:
FANART
Look at Raph he's so DONE with these teens I laughed so hard! and look at Raph carrying the teens back home and Leo's opening scene next chapter they're so cute I love it <3 and this beautiful fanart of Raph carrying the 12!brothers while the ghosts of Rise!brothers trail behind him *sobs* it's so sweet~ One Brother for Two Lives indeed...I also received a beautiful x-mas gift in the form of DOODLES! I love them so much, they're so cute!
I honestly appreciate the fanart so much, it's such an honor when a fic gets one, I'm dying of happiness, this is my epitaph QuQ
AN
Raph is no stranger to seeing his family hurt after a gone-wrong mission, and thus says the words he would have liked to hear to Rafa :' )***He did this in Manny Unhappy Returns, his glowing arms are a bit sideways as he tickles Shredder into submission. Rise glosses over it so it doesn’t happen often or ever again, but it’s possible, so I’m writing it xD
The 12 boys should be able to cook without accidentally poisoning themselves, so now they’re learning lmao. Also, Rise!Splinter’s TV addiction is equivalent to the 12! Obsession with training and meditation, and we’re soooo gonna address that in the future~
A few more hints for Raph’s past, left like crumbs as they will be for most of the fic. I also wanted to show the headache that is having to settle your little sibling’s quarrels all the goddamn time, and some of Leo’s struggles as he starts his Leader position.
Anyway, thanks for reading! See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter Text
Shield
(6.5K words)
“Gentlemen, I have a bold and daring plan! There’s no time for hesitation, my orders must be carried out without question!”
Leo had mimicked his hero perfectly as he stood in front of the TV, rehearsing the captain’s line word by word with one hand on his hip, the other pointing wisely to the ceiling. He loved Space Heroes, and the captain was the best character of them all! Leo really wanted to be like him.
That was the reason he had volunteered when Splinter asked who wanted to lead the team, once they were finally old enough to be allowed onto the surface. Leo had felt proud satisfaction at being selected leader, with little to no hesitation from sensei’s side.
Now though, he could admit to himself that he had been very, very ignorant of what the title actually represented; of the weight of the burden he was appointing to himself. How difficult it truly was to be responsible for making the plans, make tough decisions in a matter of seconds to try to keep everyone safe, lead a team through thick and thin, especially a team that didn’t want to be led. Donnie and Mikey did whatever they wanted on occasions and drove him crazy, but Raph was the worst of them all. Raph always managed to find faults, something to comment on, something to criticize, and his words hurt in a way that almost made him wish his brother would just physically fight him instead.
“Leonardo,” Splinter called, and Leo hurriedly scrubbed his face with the back of his arm, sniffing. “Son, what happened?”
“Nothing,” Leo curled forward in front of the TV, hugging his knees closer to his chest.
Splinter sighed from somewhere behind him. He must have grabbed the remote, because the screen turned black a second later. “Leonardo, as far as I’m aware, one does not cry over nothing. What happened? Where are your brothers?”
Leo frowned, hiding the lower part of his face between his arms as he mumbled. “I have no idea.”
“...what do you mean, you have no idea?”
“Raph thinks he can lead the team better than me, so I let him,” Leo scoffed, feeling his eyes burn at the corners again. A hand patted his shoulder a couple of times, a gesture he recognized as a request to look up, so he reluctantly did.
“Leonardo, what happened?” Splinter looked saddened and slightly disappointed, which was the combination Leo hated the most. The tears came unbidden to his eyes again, and he hated that even more; he wasn’t a crybaby, his brothers would call him softie and make fun of him if they were to see.
But his father’s eyes held no mocking. There was concern, disappointment, but also an openness to listen, to try to understand his point of view and that was all Leo needed to vent up everything that had accumulated over his short journey as this team’s leader.
The way those three still did whatever they wanted sometimes, even with a direct order not to. Like Donnie sneaking alone to the military junkyard to grab spare parts, even after Leo had told him not to since it was too dangerous. How Mikey just refused to listen to him, at all, and had to be told the plan at least five times before he had even a semblance of what they were going to do.
The way Raph would always complain and nitpick at everything he said, at how he said it, complain at too many explanations or not enough of them, point a finger at all the little things that had gone wrong in their patrol or their mission. The way he called his plans stupid, even though they weren’t, because Leo put a lot of effort into thinking, he tried to prepare the best he could! His plans weren’t stupid, Raph was stupid! Raph was such a Raph —
Don’t try to use my own identity as an insult.
And Spiky Raph was…
“I see that there are some things I need to address with you and your brothers, all together,” Splinter nodded at last, “but Leonardo, discussions… misunderstandings should be handled here, not on the surface. They must be handled in a safe space, always. Next time, no matter what is said, make sure you all return together.”
“They’ll be fine," Leo huffed, closing his eyes and curling into a ball again. "Spiky Raph was with them, and he’s... he’s better than me at everything…”
Splinter sighed tiredly. “Leonardo, what does that mean?”
“You already know what I mean,” Leo complained just as softly, but still answered the question.
Spiky Raph was a better leader, a better older brother, more patient. He made time for everyone, listened without judging, tried to get his point across without insulting or snapping at them, but still refused to take any bullshit, and he was just… overall better.
Even if Raph messed things up, his counterpart would just pick up the slack, Leo was sure of it. Heck, Raph could probably fuck things up sideways and he would just get an understanding nod and a pat on the back for trying. Because everyone was better than Leo, everyone could be congratulated for just making the effort but not him, he needed to be perfect, because every failure was unacceptable and pointed back at him repeatedly, because his brothers never let them go, and—
Everybody makes mistakes; that’s how we learn, that’s how we get to be better people.
Being the leader doesn’t… mean you have to know everything, or get everything right on the first go.
“That’s what he said?” Splinter seemed surprised.
“Yeah.”
“And he left the lab when he started to feel unwell with the conversation.”
“Yeah…”
“He didn’t lose his temper?”
“No, he just… he just left.”
“I see,” his father nodded, one hand pulling at his beard, the other patting his back comfortingly. “Leonardo, please come get me at the dojo once your brothers arrive—” Splinter paused then, ears perking up as he picked on something Leo still couldn’t hear. “Hmm. It seems that will not be necessary.”
Splinter stood up and faced the entrance, so Leo cleaned his face with his palms the best he could, trying to erase the telltale of his crying before his brothers could—
“What happened?” Splinter sounded concerned, already stepping away from him so Leo turned to see—
Turned to see all his brothers covered in bruises, injured badly enough to be unable to walk back home since Spiky Raph was carrying all of them; and Leo knew Raph would rather die, and Donnie wasn’t a fan of prolonged unnecessary contact, and Mikey wasn’t even moving, he wasn’t awake, why, why, why—
“Guys!?” Leo gasped, jumping over the coach to rush at them.
“We had an encounter with… snakewad?” Spiky Raph frowned.
“Snakeweed,” Raph corrected, blinking with grumpy tiredness at them. “Can’t we talk about this tomorrow? Donnie needs to check on Mikey.”
“Why? What happened to Mikey?” Leo turned to face his unconscious little brother, cataloging the few injuries he could see, but—
“Leonardo,” Splinter called, meaningfully placing a hand on his shoulder so Leo clicked his mouth shut. “Donatello, what happened?”
“Uh, ok, so a preliminary report…” Donnie gestured for Spiky Raph to bring them to the lab, so the snapper moved while his brother spoke. “Ok, so Mikey was knocked out. He was slammed head first against a wall—”
Mikey had been— but how, how did that even happen!?
“ — but he’s been mumbling about pizza for a while so I think it’s nothing serious. I’ll check for swelling or neck-strain just in case. Raph failed a landing roll when Snakeweed slapped him away for the hundredth time, so he looks like that. Nothing’s broken, we just gotta disinfect the ones that are bleeding, same as mine. A few whips bypassed my bo staff, but I’m good.”
Splinter nodded once, stepping away from them to go near the monitors that would show Mikey’s results. Leo was still inwardly reeling, still wondering if… if his brothers would have been injured like this if he had— if he had just stayed, if he hadn’t let Raph’s words hurt him to the point of wanting to run away.
The snapper let Raph down, so he had both arms free to carefully place Mikey over a table, and Donnie stepped down the spiky shell to turn on the right machine.
Stepped away from the spiky shell that had no bruises. Stepped away from the snapper that looked perfectly fine; like he hadn’t fought at all.
“Why—” Leo glared at the taller turtle, “why didn’t you protect them!?”
You were supposed to be stronger than me, better than me. I trusted you to take care of them, to keep them safe!
Spiky Raph flinched, expression twisting with utter misery as he looked at Leo. “I intended to, but I was— I was nothing but deadweight, I couldn’t—”
“You weren’t deadweight, don’t be an idiot!” Raph punched his counterpart on the arm, frowning at him in clear warning, “you were poisoned; we didn’t even know the vines were toxic, and you punched the guy stupid at the end, you finished the battle!”
“...Snakeweed is toxic?” Leo asked incredulously to his brother.
Making Raph focus on him was a mistake.
“And you don’t get to point fingers at anyone Leo, you left!” Raph yelled, shoving an accusing finger at his chest. “You weren’t there to do crap! You didn’t see— you didn’t see Mikey, he was terrified, Donnie was fending Snakeweed all alone and the big guy was down; we couldn’t move him, we couldn’t escape—”
Why wouldn’t his brothers get to safety? Leo wondered for half a second before glancing up at Spiky Raph, at the snapper of considerable size and weight. No way in shell his brothers would have been able to move him without working the three together, an impossibility since that left no one to fend off the enemy, because Leo left them behind.
But why— why risk family over a guest?
“What do you mean you couldn’t escape? If he was down you should have left him behind!” Leo interrupted firmly, gesturing at the snapper without looking away from emerald eyes. “We could have rescued him later—”
“THE FUCK YOU MEAN LEAVE HIM BEHIND!”
“Yame!” Splinter’s order was too late to stop the punch rapidly coming closer to his face.
But a bigger palm was just on time to catch it.
“Rafa,” the snapper called softly, tugging at the trapped fist in a clear indication for his brother to step closer to him. Leo was surprised to see Raph actually follow without complaint, even if he was still heaving angrily, he seemed oddly… calmer, just by the proximity. “Hey, come here buddy. Leo is right—”
“THE SHELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Nevermind, Raph was even more furious now.
“All of you, stop!” Splinter had come closer to them, physically separating them as he gave all three of them a stern, warning look. “Do not make me repeat myself!”
Spiky Raph shivered at that, taking a step back as if genuinely… scared. Of Splinter. What?
“They both are idiots!” Raph complained to their father, gesturing at the snapper and Leo.
“We will talk about this once everyone has calmed down, and all injuries have been treated,” Splinter ordered firmly, ears lowering as he gave a warning look at his brother. “Until then, I will not tolerate another word. Am I clear, Raphael?”
The snapper was suddenly no longer behind Raph, but by the lab’s door.
“Raph’s not injured, good night everyone,” Spiky Raph said hurriedly without looking at them, leaving the room with long strides. Wow, that was ninja-fast.
Splinter frowned confusedly at his retreating form, a sentiment shared by everyone else in the room.
“Don’t think we’re done here!” except for Raph, because it was mandatory for him to get mad at everything and everyone all the goddamn time. Of course.
“Raphael—”
“I’m fine! Spiky Idiot is the one that obviously has SOMETHING WRONG ON THE HEAD, SO I’M DRAGGING HIM BACK TO DONNIE’S!”
“Raphael!” Splinter repeated, but his brother had already marched out of the lab. The rat mutant sighed, “that stubborn child will turn my fur gray.”
“Mikey is fine, no internal swelling,” Donnie stated neutrally, distracting himself with data as he usually did. “I also checked his mouth, he didn’t bite himself anywhere, and the neck doesn’t have any signs of strain. I think he hid his head inside his shell when he was slammed, or tried to, so it’s all superficial. Just let him rest and he’ll be good.”
Splinter nodded gratefully at his brother. “Very well, thank you Donatello.”
“Should I go get the Raphs?” Leo offered, even though he really would rather not.
“No, give your brother some time to calm down,” Splinter sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder again. “Leonardo, I know it will be hard, but try to sleep. We will talk about this tomorrow. Donatello, if neither of the Raphs comes back to you in the next thirty minutes grab the first aid kit and tend to them wherever they happen to be. If any of them get stubborn, call for me.”
Donnie nodded once, still typing Mikey’s results on his computer. “Sure.”
“Leonardo, help your brother with his injuries.”
“Eh? But I don’t need—”
“I will, sensei,” Leo interrupted his brother with a warning look, which made Donnie groan to the ceiling before nodding in defeat.
“Thank you. I will bring Michelangelo to his room,” Splinter said as he picked his little brother up, Mikey’s face hiding in the crook of his neck by pure instinct. “Good night, my sons. I expect everyone to be in the dojo early tomorrow.”
“Yes, sensei.”
(x)
(x)
(x)
“ — SOMETHING WRONG ON THE HEAD, SO I’M DRAGGING HIM BACK TO DONNIE’S!”
Well, at least Rafa had given him a fair warning.
Raph glanced longingly at the lair’s water pool, mildly considering taking a dive to avoid his smaller and angrier counterpart, to avoid Splinter, to avoid Draxum’s ghost, to avoid the memories of failed missions, before deciding against it and rushing back to his room. Rafa sounded angry enough to try to dive right after him, and that probably wouldn’t help with the whole preventing-an-infection thing.
“There you are!” the teen snarled from his room’s entrance barely a moment after Raph got in, and he took a step back by pure reflex, raising his palms in a calming motion.
“Um, hey Rafa—”
“Don’t hey-Rafa me, what kind of bullshit was that!?”
Language, Raph thought, but was very aware that saying so right now wasn’t a good idea. “Um, I mean— please know that it’s… it’s not like I don’t care about my own wellbeing, if that’s what you’re thinking—”
“Bright guess, dumbass!”
“ — I just agree with Leo in the sense that you guys shouldn’t risk yourselves for me. Raph heals faster—”
“Stop talking in third person!”
“ — and is the team’s shield, I can take a hit, I take damage like a boss!” Raph grinned self-assuredly, puffing up his chest and patting heartily at his own plastron.
Far from being reassured or amused, Rafa just squinted incredulously at him, as if wondering just how much stupidness could fit in a single turtle.
“You,” the teen grunted at last, “are too idiotic for words, and you know what? I can work without them. Take a stance.”
“...what?”
“Fight me!” Rafa crouched as he spread his feet apart, raising his fists in a daring gesture, even if the sais were still tucked away. “I’ll knock the idiot out of your head!”
Raph looked him dead in the eye, searching. His smaller counterpart wasn’t angry enough to have lost sight of things, but he was bothered enough to find words lacking, and that was… that was something Raph could understand, actually.
Physical exercise had always been a relief for him, training either alone or with his brothers was something he honestly enjoyed, and fighting against an opponent he couldn’t harm had been the peak of his training regimen, the peak of expression as he could finally lay to rest the worst of anger and frustration, finally found an outlet to release the worst of his inner demons.
Raph missed Frankenfoot; he missed his buddy with all his heart.
But here, in this odd world, at least he could be someone else's Frankenfoot.
“Do your worst,” Raph nodded at last, using his serious ‘listen to me’ leader voice as he pulled out his weapons, the protecting red encasing his arms once more. “If you wanna see a shield, I’ll show you a shield.”
“You. Fucking. Moron,” Rafa growled, taking out his own sais and stepping closer but not enough to be within striking distance, still hesitant to actually go through with his word. Fine, if he wasn’t moving first….
Raph feinted a punch, just to get the spar started, and the teen scoffed and finally took the offensive. The piercing weapons clashed against his red energy in a harmless dance as Raph imitated a boxer’s footwork, keeping his arms up to block most of the attacks, dodging and jumping as he played defense to let his counterpart express the worst of it.
It was a good thing they were in Raph’s room, since he only had the beanbag, plushies and one lamp, most of the space was free for them to move around. They remained silent for a short while as Raph waited for the telltale signs of tiredness, which didn’t take long considering the teen had fought against the plant mutant not too long ago.
“I’m sorry I worried you Rafa,” Raph said at last, parrying away a half-hearted attack.
“Who’s worried!” Rafa hissed, and the sound of metal clashing against a smooth surface sliced through the air as they collided again.
“You are. You just turned worry into anger,” Raph said seriously, ducking low when the other turtle jumped to try to get a kick to the head. “I know because I do the same thing. Anger is easier to deal with…”
His sparring partner halted, eyes open wide as saucers as he stared incredulously at him, panting heavily.
“Anger is EASIER!?” Rafa was absolutely fuming now. Huh, was the kid not aware of that? Of course anger was easier. “You really have something wrong in the head, you imbecile!”
Raph blocked another stabbing attempt. “Why?”
“Anger is NOT easy! I hate being angry, I hate that it comes from fucking nowhere, I hate that it has nowhere to go!” the attacks were growing wilder, erratic, more careless and unpredictable. “I hate it, I fucking hate it!”
Poor kid was reaching his breaking point.
“It’s ok to be angry Red, it’s ok to let it out,” his pops had reassured kindly after witnessing a Savage episode for the first time, slowly stepping closer to him. “I’m not afraid of you Red, you’re the kindest little kiddo I know.”
Raph had sobbed, letting the stuffed cotton fall from his jaws, releasing the fabric so he could hug himself and curl into a tiny, tiny ball. As tiny as someone with his size could get.
“I’m not afraid, and I’m not mad at you. You were just scared Red, it’s ok to be scared.”
“P-papa…”
“Wanna hug, buddy?”
Raph closed his eyes strongly and nodded, but didn’t move a single muscle. His pops was the one to close the distance, sitting at his side to hold him tightly.
“It’s ok Red, I’m here. I’ll always be here to protect you and the little tots, alright? You don’t have to fight, not anymore.”
Raph had been lucky to find someone as caring and understanding as his pops was. Someone that could offer the comfort no one else had ever provided, someone that could say the words that he had desperately needed to hear.
“I HATE BEING LIKE THIS! I HATE MYSELF!”
Had Rafa never received that comfort?
The kid was crying angry tears now and Raph decided enough was enough, so he grabbed the teen’s wrists when he tried to attack again, his ninpo protecting him from the weapon’s sharpness as he pulled Rafa closer to him, trapping him in a very tight hug.
“Rafa, it’s ok to be angry. Getting angry doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you a monster,” Raph whispered, mildly noticing the sound of falling metal as the sais clanked against the floor. “There’s nothing wrong with you. I’m not afraid of you; I’m not mad at you. You’re a nice kid, Rafa…”
Smaller hands were punching softly against his plastron, even as the teen pushed his head closer to his chest and cried silent tears, body shaking as he tried to hide from the world. Conflicted feelings, okay, so Rafa needed physical comfort but not only did he not know how to ask for it, but he ended up instinctively… fighting it. Just for show, a charade, even when there was no one else with them at the moment, no one to judge him for seeking comfort.
Was he ashamed of wanting a hug? Recriminating himself for crying? Being vulnerable was difficult, Raph could understand that, but for it to reach this level was… very saddening.
Yesterday Raph had tried to pat his head, and Rafa had reflexively slapped his hand away. He had thought the kid was not used to receiving physical gestures of comfort, but watching him interact with his brother today finally made him realize that the teen’s reaction to most things was to get defensive.
“So you think we’re weak because we don’t have those stupid magic things?”
“I’m not crazy!”
“What is that supposed to mean!?”
Was Rafa used to being dismissed just because he expressed things in an emotional way? Or maybe he didn’t ask for a hug because he couldn’t get one without being mocked for it…? The mere thought made Raph’s heart ache, enough to squeeze the teen even more strongly.
Brothers teased each other, that was just how it was, but there were some times where jokes went a bit too far, when teasing accidentally turned into something more damaging than anyone ever realized in the moment.
Raph could admit he was a bit overprotective — “ an absolute MOTHER HEN!” Leon’s voice whined in his mind — because he wished someone had protected him when he needed it, so Raph had always tried to do that for others. He usually tried to intervene when his brothers started to get too mean between them, or a joke was repeated one too many times, but…
“I was all set for kicking Donnie out.”
“Great job team! Aaaand Donnie, I guess.”
“If mystic powers can do everything I can, but better, then why do you guys even need me!?”
But some things still slipped through his shield. There must be things slipping through their Splinter’s shield as well, which had resulted in this...
“You're not alone, I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’m in your corner Rafa, I have yar back,” Raph whispered soothingly, rubbing up and down the shell in a firm, anchoring motion. “I’m… I’m the same, so I understand. I get it. And I’m here, my door is always open for you, yeah? Whenever you wanna chat or— or if you don’t! If you wanna move, get off some of the restless energy, we can just train together in silence. Or we can do both at the same time too, for me talking is easier when I’m moving, it’s kinda relaxing in a sense—”
“Can we do that right now?” the words were barely above a whisper.
“...train and talk at the same time?” Quiet sniffing, followed by a slow, silent nod against his plastron. “Yeah, sure buddy. Come on, why don’t we go through some katas, eh?”
(x)
(x)
(x)
In his defense, Leo had tried to stay away from them.
He had treated Donnie’s bruises and gotten out of the lab. He had managed to ignore the angry shouting, managed to tune out the words for long enough for him to dash through the living room and jump to his bed, far away from the sound, because Splinter had said it wasn’t his responsibility to solve every quarrel, that it was ok to let his brothers do it on their own, that it was ok to ask for his help when things went too far, or went too long without resolution.
Splinter had instructed him to let the Raphs alone, so Leo shouldn’t be intruding, but he just… he just couldn’t help but worry.
Leo knew his brothers would never truly harm each other, not on purpose anyway, but Raph was… when Raph exploded he did so very, very strongly, and sometimes what was supposed to be a harmless shove ended with someone on the floor, with new scratches adorning their plastron.
And this was a disagreement between Raphs. What if the snapper was the same as his brother? Spiky Raph was so much larger, even if it was accidental he could still cause a lot of harm, and with how angry his brother had been there was no way in hell it wouldn’t end in a confrontation, so Leo just— he just had to make sure they weren’t going to accidentally kill each other or something!
“Look, I’m no good with this kind of stuff, so I’m gonna be very blunt,” Spiky Raph’s voice trailed out of the room.
“Fucking finally—”
“Language.”
“ —Splinter always speaks in riddles and wants me to meditate, and I’m tired of it,” Raph groaned…? Wait, so they weren’t fighting?
Leo risked a peek at the room, and discovered the both of them were… doing katas. Huh.
Spiky Raph huffed a laugh. “Pops can be purposely obtuse too. Anyway, so… the root of the matter is that emotions suck.”
“Yeah.”
“And handling them sucks even more.”
“Agree on that.”
“And that’s why it’s easier to hide the real thing with anger. It’s easier for me to be angry than to admit… admit I’m afraid, for example. Savage is always so, so afraid. He lashes out at anything that attacks because he fears we will die if he doesn’t. He’s just trying to ensure we survive, honestly...”
“Fight response.”
“Yeah, exactly! If something’s scary, the first thing we do is punch it!”
Both Raphs chuckled at that, and Leo really, really should leave since it was obvious they had it under control, but he had never… he had never seen his brother so at ease after snapping in a fit of anger. Raph usually would turn away without a word and hide in his room after exploding...
“I also used to get angry whenever I wanted something but didn't know how to ask for it. I remember yelling at Pops and Mikey when I was a kid, being unnecessarily mean when what I truly wanted was to ask for Teddies like he had gifted to my little bro.”
Raph groaned and kicked the air a couple of times, obviously mad at something. Always so, so mad. “Paint was supposed to be my thing, to help me calm down and express the difficult stuff, but Mikey kept stealing it and Splinter told me I should share. I didn’t mind at first, but he was— he was so much better than me and kept saying that to my face, didn’t let me do my thing without criticizing the hell out of it, so— so I dropped it completely.”
“How old were you?”
A half-hearted shrug as his brother looked at a wall. “I don’t know. Eleven?”
“Maybe we can try that again, I’m sure Mikey will understand not to do that now.”
Raph seemed offended by the mere idea. “I’m not going to—”
“I’ve always wanted to try painting; maybe you can teach me?”
“...yeah, fine.”
Wow, that was smooth. Raph had always been difficult to get along with, but the snapper made it look easy.
“Thanks Rafa. Let’s see, what else… hmm, I also get angry when something is unfair, even though it’s not anyone’s fault…”
That sounded kind of specific.
“It’s not— it’s not like anyone appointed me leader, you know? I just took the role because I’m the eldest and needed to protect my brothers, and I was more familiar with the city so I had to guide them when they got up to explore, ensure they didn’t go to dangerous places, and the role sort of… stuck. No one ever taught me how to be a leader, I just read stuff on the internet and tried it out hoping for the best, and then out of nowhere Pops just— just appoints Leo as leader? And starts to actually help him with that?”
Leo’s breath hitched. Spiky Raph was moving faster through the katas, and his brother had silently stepped away to give him a wider space.
“And I know it’s not Leo’s fault, he didn’t ask for it, didn’t want the responsibility. It’s not Pops’ fault that he wasn’t in the right state of mind to help me when I needed help, I know he’s trying to lift some weight off my shoulders by having Leo take the lead on the missions. My brother was always better at strategies too!”
The air seemed to woosh loudly as the snapper punched the air, probably with more strength than necessary. Some of the drawings stuck to the walls fell over, and Raph wordlessly started to collect them at the sidelines, even if he still kept an eye on his older counterpart.
“But even though I know all of that, I’m still so, so angry . Was I not worth the effort back then? Was I not worth changing for? Why is my Pops so different from the one my brothers get to have? Why is his help always too late for me but not for them!?”
Red lightning traveled up over scarred arms as the bigger turtle slammed his fists together, probably in an effort to avoid destroying the room’s floor and walls.
“And the thing is… I know it’s not about me,” the snapper heaved, frowning at the floor. “It’s not like Pops purposely acted that way to mess up with me, he was just dealing with a lot of stuff back then and he really couldn’t… he did the best he could. He would have done the same if it had been anyone else in my place.”
The fit of anger ended as suddenly as it had started, as Spiky Raph deflated and hypothetical fumes scattered away, leaving only hurt sadness in its way.
“I just… I just wish I wasn’t the eldest, sometimes.”
Leo wanted to cry. He wanted to run back to his room and cry into his pillow, because he knew his brothers resented his assigned position, that they resented the one on one sessions he got to have with Master Splinter, because individual attention was something their father rarely gave. He trained them, taught them, corrected them, and loved them as a group, but individually it wasn’t… it wasn’t usual, not really. They could go to him, to ask for advice, but anything other than that was just not…
In a sense, Leo’s father was different from the one they had.
And yet, Leo was also the eldest. He had always been the most responsible out of them, the one looking out for them, cleaning after them, comforting them when they were sad, scolding them when they were being too unruly. He had to, because Splinter could not be with them all the time, his father got tired too, he needed breaks, so when the rat mutant was off meditating or solo-training, Leo just… covered for that absence.
That was the reason why Splinter had assigned him as the older brother. It’s not like he knew the ages of the pet turtles he acquired in the shop, things like their ages had been picked based on their personality, and Leo had always stepped up where his father couldn’t, so he had naturally been appointed eldest.
And then he had been appointed leader, as if being the eldest wasn’t difficult enough on its own. Leo and Spiky Raph were the same, and that wasn’t— that wasn’t something he had wanted to know, it wasn’t something he had wanted to see or acknowledge, because… because he had wanted to believe that it was a Leo thing, as if knowing the other versions of him went through the same experiences would lessen the burden, make him feel less alone…
“I’m… uh, sorry for unloading with you, Rafa.”
“It’s fine.”
"So, uh… when that happens you can punch a dummy or something. It's ok to be mad and let it out, so long you try not to hurt anyone in the process. That’s not… that’s not something I’d ever say to my pops, or my brothers, for example… getting rid of the burden doesn’t mean you need to pass it on to someone else, so… um, yeah.”
“I have a punching bag you can use,” Raph offered, jerking his head towards the entrance and Leo hurriedly stepped back and out of view, because shit, shit, had his brother seen him…?
Leo hurriedly got into ninja mode, hiding in one of the many crevices of the ceiling.
“Oh no, no, I can't use the dummy, I'd— I would probably break it..."
"You know what? You deserve to tear it to pieces." If Raph had noticed Leo’s eavesdropping he didn’t let it show, as his brother simply walked out while pulling at the snapper’s arm, basically manhandling his taller counterpart outside the room.
"I’m not sure I should—"
"It needed a replacement anyways." They were in front of the punching bag now, close to the arcade games.
"But I don’t want to—"
"Do it, do it, do it, I won't shut up until you do, do it, do it, do it—"
Spiky Raph huffed a teary laugh at his brother’s antics, bending down to crush Raph with a tight, one-armed hug that his brother did nothing to escape from.
Then he turned around and punched the sandbag into oblivion, getting it off its hinges after a single hit and effectively rendering it useless as the fabric was torn and dirt spilled all over the place.
“Shell yeah, that’s more like it, big guy!” Raph smirked and punched the air triumphantly, which made the snapper make an odd, rumbling sound.
“What was that?” Raph laughed… a happy laugh. No mocking, no teasing, just pleasantly curious. Was that really his brother?
“Err, sorry I slipped. I usually churr when I’m happy but, uh, but Mikey said it was kinda scary so I’ve been trying not to… you know.”
“Well, Mikey is stupid—”
“Don’t call him that.”
“— because that’s pretty much a cat’s purr, just more, more dinosaur-like,” Raph stated with a frown, trying to find the right words. “I mean, more like… I don’t know! But it’s not scary, that’s for sure, so don’t be an idiot.”
“Thanks Rafa,” the snapper didn’t seem to mind the insult, on the contrary, he seemed touched. “You know, I was kinda surprised when Mikey told me you guys don’t make sounds. Back home we all do.”
“It’s a good thing we don’t,” Raph scoffed with an eye roll, “I’ve heard Spike chirp and it’s adorable coming from him, but if it were one of us we would probably just…”
“Tease each other?”
“...yeah.”
Spiky Raph gave his brother a sad smile. “You know, I think—”
“Ok, so I tried to give you guys more time to talk and everything, but it’s been an hour and I want to start working on the panic buttons.” Donnie interrupted, walking out of the lab that had kept its door open. He had probably been reminded of what Splinter asked him to do after he heard the Raphs get closer to the punching bag. “Raph, I’m treating your injuries so come with me.”
“What? I’m fine!”
“Panic buttons?” the snapper asked with interest, picking up a fuming Raph in the same way one may an angry chihuahua as he trailed behind Donnie, who seemed unsurprised by the manhandling.
“After the events of today, I’ve decided we need a way to ask for help. To alert Master Splinter and each other that we need support, in case we’re ever separated.” Oh, he should have... Leo should have thought of that…
“Not bad,” Raph muttered, no longer trashing. His fight for freedom had been surprisingly short-lived, he seemed content to hang like a boneless cat in his counterpart’s hold.
Spiky Raph nodded. “My Dee made something similar for us too, it’s in my belt clip. I could lend it to you, maybe the design helps?”
“As inspiration perhaps, I doubt I’ll have the materials your brother does to make exact replicas. I just… I just build stuff out of junk and Krang parts, really,” Donnie shrugged while staring at the floor.
“You’re awesome Donnie,” the snapper said sincerely.
His brother snickered a pleased sound, but still didn’t turn to look at the turtles following behind him. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Spiky Raph.”
“I don’t need it to, I just want you to know,” the snapper said firmly. “Adapting to what you have on hand must be really difficult, you work real hard on these things to make them work and that’s pretty awesome.”
“...unrelated, but I’m also working on a collapsible rolling platform. We’ll be able to move you if you’re ever unconscious again, so… we’re not leaving you behind. Ever. And you shouldn’t expect us to, so don’t.”
Donnie was still avoiding looking at them. Spiky Raph looked like he wanted to cry, and Leo tried not to squirm guiltily in place, because that’s something he should have thought of as well. He should provide solutions as the leader, not… not propose they leave one of their own behind at the first sign of trouble.
“Heard that big guy? I told you, you were being stupid,” Raph slapped his counterpart’s arm for emphasis.
“...maybe I was,” the snapper snickered, hugging Raph closer to nuzzle the top of his head. “Thank you guys.”
“Psshh, that tickles, fuck off—”
“Language.”
“Right!?” Donnie finally turned around, “I didn’t even know that was a ticklish spot, what the shell!”
Spiky Raph laughed, letting Raph down so they all could walk into the lab. Leo waited for a few minutes, just to be safe, before silently hopping down from his hiding spot and darting back to his room.
This was going to be a long, sleepless night.
Notes:
Rafa is the self-appointed Rise!Raph-defender that gets into fights with anyone and everyone, and that includes the snapper himself LMAO. They fight, they hug, they’re besties now n.n
As always, thanks for reading! And for the folks filling my inbox with comment alerts: I love you all (platonically) and send you the best vibes! *hugs* you brighten my day like you have no idea, I’m just giddy doing happy floppy hands every time I get a comment. Bless you all!
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 9: Family Picture
Notes:
Someone made fanart of Rafa leading sleepy Raph at the end of Ch 6 and I'm dying QwQ receiving fanart is the greatest honor any fic can have and I love it with all my heart *Squeals*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Family Picture
(7.5K words)
Leading a team could get easily overwhelming. There were many things his turtles had yet to learn and Splinter could admit, and had admitted it outloud to his sons, that he had mistakenly focused solely on individual training, when he should have assigned time for team training as well as they grew up.
But the past could not be changed, and now his turtles had no option left but to learn more on how to function as a team with every passing visit to the surface, which wasn’t an easy process. Splinter had thought the best way to teach them was with time, to let them gain more experience, make mistakes and learn from them, with Splinter supporting as needed along the way.
He should have known better. Leonardo, the appointed leader, was a perfectionist at heart and took things more personally than he should.
Seeing his son break down in front of the TV — seeking solitude and the comfort of his favorite show sooner than he thought of relying on his father — made him realize that approach was yet another mistake.
Being the leader doesn’t… mean you have to know everything, or get everything right on the first go.
One he needed to rectify as soon as possible, because since Splinter had not noticed on time it seemed Spiky Raph, out of all people, was the one picking up the burden when he shouldn’t need to.
Thus, Splinter's call for his sons to meet him at the dojo this morning.
“Mikey! Dude, don’t scare me like that!” Raphael dashed to hug-tackle the youngest as soon as he saw his brothers reunited in the room. He seemed to be in a remarkably good mood.
“Raph, I can’t breathe!” Michelangelo snickered, trying to escape from the added weight without much success.
“I told you he would be ok,” Donatello yawned into his palm as he sat down at their side, looking tired. Had he slept at all last night?
“Make space, guys,” was Leonardo’s only warning before he collapsed on top of Raphael, who cursed and half-pushed him so he was crushing Michelangelo more than him. His eldest also looked like he barely had any rest, had those two partnered up for something last night?
“Oh, turtle pile? Ok,” Donatello smiled sleepily before slowly moving to lean on top of Leonardo, who was already more asleep than awake, eyes half-closed with a relaxed smile in place.
“Why am I always the one crushed?” Michelangelo complained with a strained voice, the added weight probably didn’t help with things like talking and breathing.
“Mikey, next time I tell you to run, you run,” Raphael warned out of nowhere, lightly pushing his brother’s head down in a mix of loving head-pat and reprimanding swat.
“Yeah, no. Who in their right mind would even think about leaving a brother behind?”
The warm, soft moment shattered to pieces at that.
Donatello hurriedly rolled away, just in time for Raphael to harshly shove his older brother away from the pile. Leonardo slid on his side, no longer relaxed nor sleepy, but instead of looking angry at the treatment he just curled in a fetal position, face contorting with guilt .
“Tell that to our fearless leader here,” Raphael scoffed, glaring at his brother.
“Stop, all of you,” Splinter tapped the floor with his cane before the matter escalated. “Sit down in a row, we need to speak.”
His teens silently moved to do that, with Raphael and Leonardo sitting at opposite ends, as far away from each other as they could afford to be without disobeying. Those two…
“My sons, I understand the mission last night did not unfold as we would have liked it to—”
“Sensei,” Leonardo surprised him by interrupting with a tentative hand gesture, “can I say something first?”
Splinter blinked at his oldest in surprise, but nodded.
“Guys, I’m— I’m sorry for leaving the team— for leaving you behind, yesterday. I was overwhelmed and— and needed some space and time alone, but I should have done that once we all were back home. Once we were safe,” Leonardo echoed what Splinter had told him yesterday, “the idea of something happening did cross my mind, but I didn’t— I just thought that Spiky Raph could cover for my absence since he’s… you know, better than me at everything…”
“He’s twenty.”
“Eh?”
“Big guy is twenty,” Raphael repeated more firmly. “You wouldn’t compare a ten-year-old with us, right?”
And the echo of his conversation with Raphael entered the picture. Splinter had thought he had implied as much to his eldest the night prior, had he been too indirect? He had been sure the message had gotten across, but apparently that was yet another mistake from his side.
Oh, Leonardo… had he stayed up all night because his fears were not put to rest?
“...oh,” his eldest nodded once, pleasantly surprised. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“You’re an idiot, Leo.”
“Yeah,” the teen snickered self-deprecatingly, “yeah I am. I still need to apologize to Spiky Raph for the whole… uh, thing yesterday, and for— for saying that it was ok to leave him behind if something bad happens, because it’s not ok. We’re not— we’re not leaving any turtle behind, ever. No matter what happens, we all come back home.”
The tone had changed to one firm and inspiring for the last sentence, just the way a leader should sound.
“Now that’s more like a fearless leader,” Raphael grinned.
“Damn right, Leo!” Michelangelo passed his arm across his brother’s shoulder to heartily shake him. “That sounded so cool, too!”
“Apology accepted,” Donatello was overall softer, patting his brother’s knee reassuringly, “for the record, I get why it was overwhelming. After what happened in the lab yesterday, we should… we should have skipped patrol altogether, honest. At least until we could resolve all of that… stuff. Right, Raph?”
Donnatello nudged his brother lightly with his elbow, which made Raphael take a deep breath in before letting out a tentative: “I’m, uh, sorry. Too. For… for being so harsh on you. Things can go downhill pretty fast sometimes, and trying to keep everyone safe when so many things are happening at the same time it’s— it’s insane, I don’t know how you do it! Yesterday I— it was horrible, I just… I get why you snap at us now. And why plans don’t work for shit sometimes, it’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault, and I’m… I’m sorry.”
Leonardo snickered a teary laugh. “What, so you don’t wanna be leader Raph?”
“Fuck, no!”
“Hahaha!”
That was such an improvement from how things usually went. Splinter had tried to have them talk things out before, but it usually ended with them pointing fingers at each other as they accused and complained for one thing or the other, and on the rare instances where one party managed to accept their part of the responsibility and apologize for it, the other would usually counter it with mocking and ruin it.
“What did you say? Can’t hear you, speak louder!”
“Aww, what a softie.”
“See? Was it really that hard, hmm?”
This was a much better resolution. His sons really were growing, weren’t they?
“Guys, we all know I’d be the best leader,” Michelangelo gestured to himself with self-assured radiance, which made Leonardo snort and push his brother until he landed on top of a surprised Donatello.
“We wouldn’t get anything done, ever,” Raphael was now leaning against his taller brother, one arm curling behind his shoulders.
“It would be fun though,” Donatello grinned, patting the youngest reassuringly. “If we could just play instead of… everything else, I’d totally vote for you.”
“I would not,” Leonardo admitted, still smiling as he carefully half-crushed the two brothers closest to him, “sorry Mikey, but you can’t even listen to the plans I make, I doubt you’d be able to come up with any on your own.”
“It’s not— it’s not like I don’t want to listen! I just… I just get distracted…”
“For like, a thousand times in a row.”
“I try to listen, I really do, I just— I just can’t!”
“Yeah, right, because processing words is such a hard thing to do—”
“N-no, I’m not joking— please, I’m being serious!” his youngest was visibly starting to become distressed, so Splinter tapped his cane again.
“Sons, sit down properly,” he waited until the teens were on seiza once more before turning to his youngest. “Care to elaborate on that, Michelangelo?”
“Uh-um, I don’t know… I don’t know how to explain it,” his youngest admitted, fidgeting with his belt strap, “I just— I just can’t focus sometimes, even when I try really hard. I try to stop looking around, try to keep my thoughts from skipping from one topic to another, and I try— I try to stop myself from moving too much, or touching stuff just ‘cause it looks interesting, but sometimes by the time I’ve realized I’ve already… I’ve already pushed a button or grabbed the thing I wasn't supposed to, so I end up messing everything up...”
Donatello patted his little brother on the back. “It’s not a proper fidget toy, but I found some rubber bands. Maybe you can keep them on your wrists like a bracelet, snap and play with them until we find something else?”
“Wait, what’s a fidget toy?” Leonardo leaned forward to look at his taller brother.
“From what I’ve found, it’s a small object that can be squeezed, pulled, or moved around while in your hold. It's supposed to help improve concentration, release stress, regulate anxiety and overall just.. help someone relax. I kinda wanted to try one too, maybe I can stop biting my nails every time I get restless—”
“Dang, please, that’s gross.”
“Last time you made yourself bleed.”
“Where do we find any?”
The discussion turned around again, and Splinter smiled proudly at just how quickly his sons kept growing. It was a relief, watching them sort things out by themselves… the lifespan of a turtle was a lot longer than he suspected his own would be, so they would have to do this without his interference at some point in the future.
Everything was going on well until Leonardo asked: “Can’t you just make some fidget toys, Donnie?”
Donatello groaned and covered his face with a palm. “Why do I always have to do everything? I wasn’t born knowing stuff!"
He slammed his palm on the floor in a frustrated gesture. "Just because I’m smart doesn’t mean I can do whatever you guys want! Do you have any idea of just how much time it takes me to research? How many times I need to disassemble and reassemble something to understand how it works and start to replicate it? Just for me to spend even more time adapting to the materials we do have here, because I obviously can’t use the same as the original source, and it’s so—so tiring! I want to work on my projects, not yours!”
A short pause of baffled silence stretched over them.
“Sorry, I wasn’t— I had never thought of that…” Leonardo was the first to speak.
Michelangelo was now crying. “Dee, I’m so sorry Dee, I never meant to break your stuff, I just grabbed it without realizing and…”
Donatello exhaled the remants of his frustration, and pulled the youngest into a hug. “I’m sorry for yelling at you that day. When Spiky Raph said his brothers went through the same thing I started to wonder and… I’m still— I’m still researching, but from what I’ve found I think that your mind is just wired a bit differently from most people, and impulsiveness is sort of part of it. You can’t help it, in the same way I can’t help some… other things like prolonged eye contact and stuff. It’s not bad, we just— we just gotta find something that works for us.”
“I’d offer my punching bag, but that’s off the table for now,” Raphael said, scooting closer to his brothers. “Wanna spar?”
“...what, why would we want to spar?”
“Because it helps?” Raphael frowned, confused.
Leonardo mimicked that expression. “Why would that help?”
“Is that your version of fidget toys?” Michelangelo asked before the second eldest could grow defensive, as he was prone to do.
“I have no idea what those are,” Raphael shrugged, “so no clue. Maybe?”
Splinter sat down in front of them, since it seemed they didn’t need him to be sensei at the moment, he could afford to be a father. “It’s my first time hearing the term as well. I assume Spiky Raph was the one to mention these Fidget Toys?”
For how long had Spiky Raph been parenting advising his sons on these matters?
I was five, so old enough to take care of my things and look out for my brothers.
That poor child… old habits died hard, didn’t they?
“Oh, yeah, he told us about it when… uh, when Mikey and I were fighting the other day.”
“So that’s what you were fighting about!” Leonardo seemed happy to know. “Mikey broke something again!”
“No I didn’t!”
“But it was a close call. Still… sorry about yelling, Mikey.”
“Sorry about stealing your stuff and… asking for so many things Dee, that’s not fair on you.”
“Is sparring really equivalent to a fidget toy?” Raphael wondered out loud, obviously surmised in his own musings.
“We should ask Spiky Raph, maybe he knows,” Donatello shrugged, “but I think that’s more of a you-thing, Raph.”
“Really? But training is fun, you can’t tell me you don’t like it! There’s nothing better than winning a match—”
“Yeah, no, you and Leo win most of the time,” Donatello whined to the ceiling, “and then lord it over us and it’s exhausting.”
“Yeah, you two are poor winners,” Michelangelo complained.
Raphael clicked his mouth shut and huffed, looking away. “I’m just happy when I win, you guys are just salty you're not as good. You gotta train more.”
“One must accept both, victory and defeat with humility, Raphael,” Splinter reminded for what was probably the hundredth time. “The way in which you communicate your intent is, often, more important than the message itself. If you select the wrong words and attitude it will not reach your intended audience in the way you wish it would.”
“...what.”
“The way you say it matters, Raph,” Leonardo summarized with a deadpan look.
“But what is that supposed to mean?”
Splinter sighed and looked at the ceiling, willing Tang Shen to grace him with patience once more. He wasn’t talking in another language, was he? Why did his turtles struggle with his teachings sometimes?
“Raphael, do you recall the incident of the damaged arcade game?”
The teen immediately crossed his arms, defensive. “It was an accident! The ball was stuck and when I hit it to get it off the whole machine fell down sideways, and I did say sorry, I wasn’t—”
“You apologized for it,” with difficulty, but he had managed.
“Yeah!”
“And what happened next?”
“What did you say?” Leonardo had immediately taunted. “Can’t hear you, speak louder!”
Raphael glared at his older brother, who squirmed in place as the message finally dawned on him as well.
“...I teased him for it.”
“Which did not help matters in the slightest,” Splinter said with a quirked eyebrow. “Everyone makes mistakes, and we need to be able to apologize for them. That will not happen if you all continue to taunt each other on each individual instance.”
“Sorry, Raph.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And that goes for you as well, Raphael. Your brothers will not have much incentive to enjoy training in the same way you do if you react to victory as you have done in the past.” His son knew exactly what he was talking about, because he hunched his shoulders forward and nodded.
“...yeah.”
“Alright, are we clear on all of this?”
“Yes, sensei.”
“Good. Now, before we leave for breakfast, there are some things that must be addressed. First, no plan ever survives contact with the enemy; it is how you react to the unexpected that will determine whether you succeed or not. You must work together and support each other for all phases of a mission. The planning, execution, adaptation, and safe retreat.”
“Yes, sensei.”
“That means listening to your team’s comments, Leonardo.”
“Yes…”
“And expressing those comments in a less confrontational manner, Raphael. No insulting.”
“Yeah.”
“And finding a way to pay attention during both; planning phase and the execution, Michelangelo.”
“I’m gonna try…”
“And coming to me if a matter is not resolved in a way everyone can agree with. Donatello, I understand you need materials for your inventions, but sneaking out on your own to the military junkyard was very dangerous. You will not act in such a manner again, do you hear me?”
“Sorry sensei, I won’t…”
“Very well. Anything else you want to address with me now?”
His turtles exchanged glances with each other, but ultimately shook their heads. Splinter nodded once and leant forward to stand up, before a thought crossed his mind.
“...come here, my sons,” he sat down on his heels again, opening his arms in welcome.
His turtles seemed baffled for a short moment, frozen in place as they processed the offer. Was he really that unapproachable?
Michelangelo was the first one to hug-tackle him, quickly followed by the rest of his siblings. Splinter sighed the thought away, filing it for a meditation session so he could enjoy the present. With a happy chuckle, he rested his cheek on the top of their heads.
“Please remember my door is always open for you, my sons. If you need advice, I will always do my best to guide you.”
“Thanks sensei.” No, he hadn’t been aiming for sensei. What did he have to do to hear a ‘dad’?
“Leonardo, Donatello, you should go to bed right after eating. You look tired, my sons.”
“Yeah… it was a rough night.”
“I’m not sleepy, I wanna look at Spiky Raph’s ninpo— oh, and I still need to test the collapsible rolling platform to see if it can support his weight. Hmm, and practice pushing him over it, to see if it works as intended. Raph, Mikey, can you go to the lab after eating so we can try to push him on it—”
“Your projects will still be there after you wake up, Donatello.”
“But I’m not sleepy, I’m fine!”
“Dude, how many hours did you get last night?”
“I don’t need sleep, I need more hours in a day, that’s what I need—” Oh, his tallest was already at that phase, no good.
A tentative knock against the dojo’s door called for attention.
“Uhm, guys? I just wanted to let you know breakfast’s ready, whenever you wanna eat. I already ate my portion, so I’ll be swimming for a bit—”
“No, no, wait!” Donatello escaped from the embrace, dashing towards the door to abruptly slide it open, which made the snapper squeak in surprise, “don’t leave, you need to get to the lab, come on let’s go!”
Spiky Raph stepped into the dojo with hovering palms, forcing Donatello to halt and take a step back. “Donnie… did you sleep yesterday?”
“Why is everybody asking that? I’m fine. I don’t need rest, I need to advance with these things, I still have many works in progress that—”
“Ok, ok, I hear ya’ Donnie,” the snapper nodded, picking up the turtle like one may a toddler and placing him against his shoulder.
“What? No, put me down, I can walk—”
“I’m just giving you a ride back to the lab, pinky promise,” one hand was rubbing circles at the shell as he turned to face them, swaying in place in a lullying motion while silently mouthing the word “sleep” , which made Splinter smile nostalgically. He had used to do the same with his tots, when he still could carry them around with ease, of course.
In a sense, he could admit he was a bit envious of his counterpart. Having someone like Spiky Raph around was quite appreciated, his sons were growing fond of the snapper — relying a bit too much on him for one too many things, but hopefully that would change after their conversation today — and Splinter just wished they could return the favor and help the young adult more. Spiky Raph looked obviously troubled at times…
“But I don’t— I don’t need a ride—”
“It’s alright Dee, Raph’s here, I hear ya’. Why don’t you tell me what you wanna do today, yeah?”
“Eh? Uh, I need to test the rolling—” a big yawn, “the rolling… thingy.”
The snapper nodded, already turning to step out of the dojo. “I like the rolling thingy.”
“And the other stuff too.”
“Important stuff?”
“Yeah…”
“Sounds important, let’s get back to your lab then.”
“Mm-hmm,” his son’s cheek was now pressed against a shoulder as the snapper walked out of the room. “Important… stuff.”
“Sounds important.”
“Yeah…”
They were talking in circles now, it was adorable and Splinter felt the urge to preserve the memory somehow. A photo. A video. Now that he thought of it, a long time had passed since they last took a family photo…
“Dad?”
“Yes, Michelangelo?”
“Can we have a family sleepover? It’s been a while since we all slept together.”
He smiled down at his youngest. “Of course. Another photo-session is also long overdue, if I am to be honest. We should renew our album.”
A tired groan as Raphael headbutted his shoulder. “Can we limit it to, like, ten photos or something? Last time we spent the whole day posing and it was horrible.”
“Don’t be rude Raph, it’s only once a year so suck it up,” Leonardo huffed.
Did Splinter really only do this once a year? He should take photos more often, his sons were certainly growing much too fast lately…
“Hey, it’s not like I can’t bear it, I’m just asking for it to not take all day!”
“We could take a couple of photos per day, that should be more feasible,” Splinter admitted.
“I’m getting hungry,” Michelangelo complained, puffing his cheeks endearingly. Splinter chuckled and squeezed his sons closer one last time, before letting go.
“Then we go grab breakfast. Spiky Raph mentioned it was already served, we don’t want it to get too cold.”
“...big guy is also getting into the family photos, right?”
“That goes without saying!” Michelangelo laughed, bumping shoulders with his brother, “we should invite April too while we’re at it.”
“For the last time, we can’t take a photo with April. If that’s filtered out she could get in trouble!” Leonardo interjected for what was probably the fifth time, trailing behind his brothers.
Splinter chuckled to himself, watching them leave with a warm feeling bubbling in his chest. They had certainly grown a lot in a short span of time; and although he would have liked to take credit for it, he was well aware that their growth spurt was not solely due to his teachings.
He could inwardly admit that, although he felt sorry for Spiky Raph’s forced separation from his family, he was honestly thankful they were lucky enough to be able to foster the young adult.
Splinter would have five sons for as long as the snapper needed to stay with them. He should speak with the older turtle soon, just to reassure him of that fact... hmm, maybe he could ask him to stay behind after a group training session. Since they were expected to patrol together for the duration of the snapper's stay here, they should become more familiar with each other's fighting style.
Spiky Raph also liked to train, so he would probably be more relaxed and willing to open up about what bothered him after exercising. It was a good idea.
(x)
Raph had wanted to swim, but Donnie had kidnapped him via sleepy grumpiness, because the scientist complained with intelligible murmurs everytime Raph tried to put him down to rest and it was so dang cute. Thus, he ended up walking aimlessly up and down the lab with the smaller turtle fast asleep on his shoulder.
It brought up bittersweet memories. His brothers usually clinged to him like this whenever they were rattled enough by something, when they needed help to catch on some sleep, and while Raph loved being able to provide that comfort, loved to give them a safe place where to rest their fears and worries, this also reminded him that he wasn’t… there for them right now.
How was his family faring without him? Were they safe, staying out of trouble? Leo tended to jump head-first into risky situations if he thought that could solve things just a bit faster; hopefully he wasn’t overdoing it with the portals… Raph could picture his brother opening up one after the other and yet again, trying to find him with nothing but stubborn luck at his disposal.
And Mikey— was Mikey sleeping well? His little brother was gifted with emotional-awareness, in a way no one else in his family was, but he did struggle sometimes with intrusive thoughts in the dark of the night, usually related to his neurodivergency and all the challenges it brought, but since they had partnered together right before this happened… hmm. No, no, his big guy probably understood none of this was his fault in any way. Although he was going to be a total cuddlebug once Raph came back, as he tended to be when something went wrong on a mission…
And Donnie— sweet heavens, Donnie. Raph really hoped someone was bugging him to take breaks, at least to cover the basic selfcare of sleeping and eating, otherwise things would get nasty very fast. His poor brother tended to adopt a “if you want it done right you should do it yourself,” mindset for some of these complex situations... he was going to pressure himself into an early grave if no one stopped him.
Raph started to churr by pure instinct, wishing the sound could somehow travel through dimensions and reach his workaholic brother. The turtle in his hold hummed contentedly in response, which made Raph chuckle sadly and rub circles at the shell once more. At least he could put this version of Donnie to sleep...
The teen in his hold was relaxed and content, which was to be expected given his morning. Raph was happy for him; and perhaps a bit envious, even. It was a good thing these teens could finally spend some quality time with their father. When Raph entered the dojo he had seen the rat mutant hugging all of his sons close to him; it had been a very nice picture...
…was his pops there to support his brothers? Or had Raph’s absence triggered another… episode…
No, no, his pops hadn’t had a serious episode in years. Raph should have more faith on him, he should—
“Spiky Raph?” Leo called tentatively from the lab's entrance, so he paused his lullying pacing. “Uh, why are you still carrying him? He’s already asleep.”
“Err, he grumbles everytime I try to put him down so…”
“Pshh, you’re really a Rad, aren’t you?” the words, the teasing tone, it was all the same as his Leon’s.
Raph smiled nostalgically at the teen, the picture of his brother overlapping with this dimension’s Leo for a short second. “Yeah, I kind of am.”
Leon usually called him Rad teasingly, a way to let him know he was being too overprotective, too much of a mother hen. A half-hearted plea for Raph to back down and let him do what he wanted to do, which was usually not a good idea. It rarely worked.
Mikey mostly called him Rad when asking for something Raph most definitely shouldn’t agree to, but it was hard to go against the power of The Youngest, particularly when paired with the pleading puppy look. Raph tended to lose the battle more often than not, and regretted it not long after.
Donnie usually called him Rad when he was feeling down. A one-word way to ask for help, for comfort, for company, which worked splendidly to communicate difficult feelings without having to be verbal about it. Raph didn’t need to know the why’s, he didn’t need explanations his brother may not be willing or capable of providing. If Dee called him then he went, simple as that.
“Honest, you can let him down, he is not gonna wake up.”
“I know, I just… I don’t mind,” Raph shrugged his unoccupied shoulder, “what’cha need, Leo?”
“...right,” the teen looked at one side, obviously troubled about something. “Uh, can I come in?”
Wow, how polite. As similar as this Leo was to his brother sometimes, there were other instances where it was the complete opposite and it made him inwardly backlash.
“Sure thing buddy,” Raph carefully sat down on the floor, accommodating the sleeping turtle so he could rest across his lap in a half-baked princess carry. “Wanna sit down with me?”
Leo took in a deep breath, exhaling just as slowly. Bracing himself for something, hmm.
“Yeah, thanks. I just…” the sentence remained incomplete as Leo approached, one hand rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably. “I just… wanted to say sorry.”
Hmm. “What for?”
“For everything. For… for being a jerk yesterday. I didn’t— I shouldn’t have gotten so defensive, you were just proposing ideas, new points of view I hadn’t considered, but I still— I was just so used to fighting off Raph that I ended up doing the same with you and that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry I reacted like that, I’ll be better in the future.”
Raph smiled and nodded in understanding, lifting his free hand to pat the teen at the shoulder. “I get it, don’t worry about it.”
“No, no, that’s not all,” Leo hurriedly raised a palm, not meeting his gaze. Guilty? “I also need to— to apologize for what happened when you guys came back, I shouldn't have accused you for anything, I was angry at myself for leaving and took it out on you. And as the leader I should look for solutions, not… not propose we leave one of our own behind at the first sign of trouble...”
Raph’s expression softened even more. “Leo, you —”
“No, listen to me,” Leo straightened to his full height, all shame and guilt melting away as it was replaced with firm assuredness. “Spiky Raph, I was wrong, and you were wrong too. Leaving you behind is not ok and is not an option. No matter the situation at hand, we’ll find a way to solve things and make sure we all come back home safe and sound. It’s not a suggestion, it’s an order, and you will do everything in your power to follow this order. Am I clear?”
Raph huffed a touched laugh, but still recognized the quote, so he raised a hand to his forehead in a military salute. “Sir, yes sir. I shall follow your directive—”
“Not because the orders of the Captain are absolute, but because I trust your judgment,” they both quoted at the same time.
Leo grinned and jumped in place giddily. “You’re a Space Heroes fan too!?”
“What, Space Heroes?” Raph laughed. “No, that’s a quote for Jupiter Jim!”
“What’s Jupiter Jim?”
“What’s Space Heroes?”
They both asked at the same time, which made Raph bark a laugh. “Maybe they’re parallels, like… there’s different versions of ourselves, there’s different versions of the show too?”
Leo nodded heartily, gesturing for Raph to follow as he started to walk towards the exit. “Come on, the show is not aired at this hour, but I can show you the comics. You can tell me how similar or different mine is compared to yours!”
Oh, Leo was an absolute fanboy, just like his brother was for Jupiter Jim. Raph churred happily at the childish excitement in the air, cradling close a still-sleeping Donnie as he stood up to trail behind Leo.
Some things truly never changed.
(x)
“Wake him up, otherwise his sleeping schedule will get even more messed up than it already is,” Leo said at last, carefully packing away his collection of comics.
“Besides, we’re gonna take a family photo. He needs to be awake for that,” Mikey agreed, stepping into the room to poke at his brother’s cheek, who just frowned and turned to hide against Raph’s plastron. Aww.
“Big guy, stop coddling him, he’s not a baby,” Rafa added while gesturing at his sleeping brother.
“He just wants to rest, though…” Raph cooed.
“Hey Donnie, April is coming here today!” Mikey yelled right above Donnie’s head. “We should introduce her and Spiky Raph!”
“Or have him jump from around the corner so she gets scared enough to scream,” Rafa suggested mischievously, using Mikey’s shoulder as an armrest. Raph squinted at his counterpart in warning, but his entertained smile probably gave him away.
“Don’t jump scare April,” Leo warned him with a pointed look.
“Yeah, no. I don’t want to get a bat to the face,” Raph snorted, because that’s what his April would do if he ever tried.
“Your April has a bat?” Mikey said at the same time as Donnie stretched, yawning a tired: “April’s coming?”
“Yeah Dee, she’s on her way.”
“We’re also taking a family photo today, so go wash your face Don,” Leo instructed kindly, one hand on Donnie’s back as he guided him towards the bathroom. “Freshen up a bit, come on— dude, you need to open your eyes to walk— or not, ok, I’ll help you get there.”
Leo passed a limp arm behind his shoulders, and Raph watched them go with a soft smile in place. The way they supported each other was so precious.
“Hey Spiky Raph, how’s your April like?” Mikey asked curiously, patting his arm to call for attention.
“Oh, wanna hear about her?” Raph grinned at the two remaining brothers, stepping outside the room while nudging them towards the living room. “I can show you some photos too.”
“You actually have photos? We haven’t taken one of everyone together; Leo’s paranoid ass—”
“Language.”
“— is worried that it’s gonna somehow filtrate out to the public, and then everyone is doomed,” Rafa rolled his eyes.
“Hmm… well, your surface is more dangerous than mine, so maybe?” Raph shrugged cluelessly. “To be honest my New York doesn’t bat an eye at most weird things, so we’re not too careful about that.” Heck, they had even gone to April’s school several times.
“Meh, it doesn’t matter anymore because Splinter agreed to include her for this one. We’re getting a photo now!”
Raph nodded and sat down cross-legged on the floor, with Mikey crawling on his lap while Rafa, surprisingly, tried to perch at his shoulder for the first time.
“Damn, these are rough,” Rafa complained as he held a scratched arm. “Can’t you file them down or something?”
“I’d rather die,” Raph shivered at the phantom sensation of nails scratching at a chalkboard, except it was the spikes on his shell instead, ugh, “if it’s too uncomfortable you can sit down with Mikey?”
“I’d rather die,” Rafa repeated mockingly, slowly shifting in place until he finally got comfortable. “Ok, I’m good now. Where are the photos?”
Raph snorted at the impatience, but dutifully went to the Family album he had on his phone, telling a few anecdotes here and there of their snow day, the Lair games, Alberto’s pizza party, the concert he and his brothers had given to a crowd of Alberto robots…
“April is just outside!” Donnie dashed behind them to get to the lair’s entrance, and Raph chuckled at the childish excitement, pausing on his latest story. His Dee also loved to monopolize April when given the chance, they understood and supported each other in a special way.
It made sense for them to be just as close in this world too, Donnie had mentioned he and April had been online friends for months before the Krang mess happened.
“Hey…?” the human teen greeted with a hesitant smile when Donnie impatiently pushed her closer to the group.
So this was April. She sure looked different from his own; not only in the physical aspect, but in the overall… standing? Presence? The April he knew was strong, self-assured, and energetic, but this person seemed a lot more laidback and nervous.
Then again, maybe it was because she didn’t know Raph yet. He shouldn’t expect her to act the same as usual around strangers, specially around someone that looked like he did—
“This is Spiky Raph, he sort of dropped from a gate I accidentally made,” Donnie said, gesturing at him like he was presenting an invention he was particularly proud of, which made Mikey snicker and Rafa mutter an unimpressed “seriously?” at his ear.
Yeah, had it been anyone else it would be kind of offensive, but since this was just Donnie being Donnie, Raph nodded and played along.
“As you can see, he’s an alligator snapping turtle, easily identifiable by the shape of the shell and larger size—”
Raph dutifully turned at the waist to give April a glimpse of the spikes, accidentally bumping Mikey’s head in the process, woops, which made Rafa snort a “served!” at his little brother.
“His plastron is more durable, it doesn’t get scratched even when sliding against rough surfaces—” Donnie tapped at it a couple of times with his knuckles, so Raph straightened up and nodded with pride.
Rafa snorted above his shoulder and stretched an arm to push down Mikey’s head, just because.
“The nerve receptors on his shell are more exposed, and although this doesn’t take away from its resistance and defensive capability, he does feel more things than we do—”
Mikey was now crawling up Raph’s front to try to get to Rafa, who was simply leaning from one shoulder to the other with a challenging smirk, so he tried to have a hand hovering nearby in case any of them slipped and fell, just in case.
April was looking at him with a “how do you even?” kind of expression. Raph tried to convey “years of practice being a climbing tree for my brothers.”
She nodded, as if Raph had spoken out loud instead of simply thinking the answer.
“As is befitting of his species, Spiky Raph can hold his breath for extended periods of time, and needs more protein than we do. He also needs a larger intake of calories, which translates into us getting him lots and lots of rice and—”
“Donnie,” April was visibly trying not to laugh.
“Yes?”
“Maybe you should let him introduce himself?”
Donnie made the sound of a record scratching and laughed awkwardly. “Um, sorry Spiky Raph.”
“No prob, buddy,” Raph patted his back reassuringly. “It was a very accurate description.”
“Right!? I have the records and observations of the general studies I did—” he did what? When!? “ —but it’s incomplete since you were sleeping.” Oh, that’s why.
“Wait, you actually went ahead with that the first night?” Rafa pushed Raph’s head down to lean forward and glare at his brother. “Dude!”
Donnie’s dubious morality didn’t change in other universes. Very, very noted.
“Donnie,” Raph growled a warning, and the scientist seemed to finally accept that he had done something wrong.
“Uh… I should… probably have asked permission for that…?”
“Yes, definitely yes. And?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Good job.”
“But I still want to run some tests on the pressure you can exert with your jaws, snapping turtles are called that for good reason—”
Raph leant forward and pulled Donnie towards him until the smaller turtle was (lightly) trapped against his plastron, since Mikey had given up escalating the front and had walked around him to join Rafa over his shell.
The scientist gave a small squeak of protest, but Raph ignored him. “My name is Raphael, but to make things less confusing for obvious reasons, I go by Spiky Raph. Mikey chose the nickname.”
“Hey, stop trying to push me off!” Mikey complained and tried to shove Rafa away, elbowing the top of Raph’s head in the process, so he dutifully lowered his chin.
“Then stop kicking me, you nitwit!”
“Yeah, I figured as much,” April grinned, obviously entertained. They probably made quite the picture. “Nice to meet you, Spiky Raph. I’m April O'neil.”
Raph nodded and loosened his hold around Donnie, but the scientist just stayed there sulking against his plastron. Alright.
“Um, Donnie told me how you guys met face to face for the first time, and… I’m sorry that happened to you and your father. You were just out for groceries, it was a normal day that suddenly took a turn for the worse. I’ll help rescue him in any way I can, you can count on me too,” because by virtue of being an April she was immediately classified as their surrogate sister in his head.
April’s face changed from amusement to worried anguish. “Yeah… thank you. I appreciate it.”
“We just need to find another warehouse, we’ll check the box’s labels and get a better semblance on where they’re located,” Donnie straightened up with a boost of energy, escaping from Raph’s lap to give April a reassuring shoulder pat. “We’re gonna get them soon enough.”
“Yeah, sure,” April smiled, seemingly appreciative of the gesture, “I’ve been trying to keep an eye out for suspicious activity too, I think I found another one of their storage buildings but haven’t checked it out yet. I can show you the place on your map?”
Donnie nodded heartily, gesturing for her to follow. “Yeah sure, and you can take a look around, just don’t get too close to the building. Call us if it gets dangerous—”
The voices disappeared as they walked into the lab. Someone elbowed him at the back of the head immediately after, and Raph finally had enough of the two teens bickering over his shell, so he slowly started to lean backwards.
“Hey, don’t crush me!” Mikey yelled when he finally noticed the movement, rolling away when the shell started to get too close to the floor. Probably not a fun experience with his spikes in the picture.
Rafa, who had immediately hopped up to the couch when Raph first started moving, just smirked at his brother. “That’s what you get for being so annoying.”
“You started it!” Mikey grabbed a pillow and chucked it at Rafa, who parried it to the side, which made the cushion hit Raph at the temple and— ok, that was it.
“You have ten seconds,” Raph growled in warning. Mikey squeaked and tackled Rafa down so they both rolled off the sofa.
“Raph, protect me!”
“You have my arms locked to my sides, idiot!” Rafa squirmed half-heartedly. “I can’t even move with you on top, so get off!”
“Aaaand ten,” Raph smirked, picking up the one-sided hugging pair to, carefully, shake them like a used paint can. Mikey squealed in obvious delight, legs kicking the air excitedly, but Rafa seemed to get dizzy fairly quickly so it was a short-lived punishment.
Raph had thought this family was less chaotic than his own, but…
“Ohhh, Raph’s dead,” Mikey pushed Rafa’s head down to rest on the smaller shoulder, patting him with a patronizing “there, there .”
“Guh,” Rafa complained, looking five seconds away from recovering and getting back at his little brother.
“Guys, come on to the dojo, we’re taking the photo!” Leo called at the same time as Mikey squealed and ran away with an annoyed Rafa persecuting.
Yeah. They were just as chaotic as Raph was used to.
“Leo help! Raph’s gonna— ACK!”
“Got you, you pipsqueak!”
“Wait Raph, his arm is in a weird position—”
“Who’s dying this time?” Donnie asked as he rejoined the group with April in tow.
“Aw, poor Mikey,” she said fondly, “what did he do?”
“I did nothing—”
“Little liar!”
“ — there’s no EVIDENCE, RAPH! Wait, no, I give, I give— eeaaak!”
Raph couldn't help but laugh at their antics, tail wagging lightly. He loved them dearly. He loved this chaotic family that had welcomed him with open arms.
“Everyone come to the dojo, please,” Splinter called, the familiar cane tapping at the floor twice.
“Want me to take the photo?” Raph offered, stepping closer to pick up the still-bickering duo to separate them.
“Don’t be stupid, you’re gonna be in the photo with us,” Rafa glared up as if daring him to fight it, which made Raph halt for a second.
“I am…?”
“Of course!” Mikey agreed, twisting in his hold in a great show of flexibility to koala-hug his arm. Always a little cuddlebug, no matter the dimension. “You’re part of it, so come on!”
He was so touched he felt like crying. This beautiful, warm, chaotic family that welcomed Raph like he was one of his own—
His own…
“Come on Spiky Raph, we better hurry before Splinter yells again.”
His brothers…
Raph sighed with a bittersweet smile, gently letting the two smaller turtles down once they finally stepped into the dojo, where an old camera in a tripod awaited. He let Rafa manhandle him into position and absentmindedly hugged the teen close once ready, who seemed content to lean against his side, crossing his arms and grinning ferociously at the camera.
Someone patted his hand, so Raph looked down to see the youngest making a gesture. He nodded and flexed his arm up so Mikey could sit on his bicep and be "the tallest brother" in the picture, much to Donnie’s amusement.
Raph tried to smile as the camera flashed, but his mind was still divagating.
How… how was his family faring without him?
Notes:
Oh, so many open ends tying together in this chapter! Our 12!boys are growing… *sniffs proudly* and Splinter finally realized that Raph is parenting his sons just like he’s used to doing in his home dimension. Our Splinter-Raph talk will be coming someday soon~
At last, we have 12!April too, finally!! In this fic there are NO romance subplots, April and Donnie are besties. He turns up the neurodivergency when he’s with a genuine friend, so he continues to be awkwardly nerdy but not to the point he was shown in the series~
Have you ever had a cat bring their kittens to you as if to show off? That’s Donnie during the whole April-Raph presentation ksksks.
Writing Raph’s experience as the turtle-equivalent of a climbing tree for his bros was my fav part of this chapter n.n I love the fluffy dumbassery! It’s a pity that next chapter is what it is… *cries in author* Rise!Brothers, here we go.
Anyways, thanks for reading! A special hug for those that take the time to leave a comment, you guys always brighten my day <3 I feel appreciated! *sends virtual hug*
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 10: Rise
Notes:
This is not a songfic, but... "What If I Forget Your Face - Kimiko Glenn"
What if I take far too long
and the danger comes to claim you?
What if I'm too late
To save you from your fate?
And you are lost forever 'cause of me?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Rise
(4.7K words)
“Sweet Galileo, I told you this was a bad idea!” Donnie exclaimed as he hopped out of the portal, rubbing at his injured arm.
“It all went as planned, actually," Leo winked and grinned, framing his chin with a finger gun pose.
"Oh, I’m sorry, you planned for the whole structure to collapse over us?” Donnie said sweetly. “That makes it so much better— SAID NO ONE, EVER! You didn't bother to mention it, why!?"
"I mean, not that soon into the battle and not when we weren't together but hey, that’s why Mystic powers exist, right?" Leo shrugged, carefree. "The thing collapses, I portal us out and no one gets hurt."
Donnie stared at his self-proclaimed twin, one eyebrow twitching as he slowly pointed towards his arm.
“Relax Dee, it’s just a scratch, it'll heal fast enough. Honest, no one got hurt.”
“Tell that to Raph,” Donnie deadpanned with a defeated groan. It was a superficial gash, it would heal quickly, but Raph was definitely going to mother-hen him once they got back and there was a new project he had wanted to focus on once they returned.
Leo winced with fake sympathy, and Donnie would have hit the smug off of that grin, but Mikey came out of the portal like a spinning projectile and beat him to it. Right at the face, served him right!
Donnie would have laughed at Leo’s pained groan, but the portal closed prematurely as soon as he fell.
“Leon wait, Raph hasn’t—”
There was a far away booming sound, strong enough to reach their current location as a rush of air. Donnie turned around right on time to witness as the structure they had been fighting in was finally too damaged to retain its structural integrity, so it collapsed on itself in a cloud of rising dust.
Shit. Alright, Raph would probably grow larger and get out of there any second now.
“Donnie? Leo is not answering,” Mikey seemed to think the same, because he seemed more worried about their recently-appointed leader than he did for the snapper’s absence. “Did I hit him too hard?”
“Well, you were traveling at considerable speed and got him right at the head, so he’s probably still reeling from it,” Donnie raised his arm to check his twin’s vitals on the pad.
And choked on thin air when he saw Raph’s were gone.
“Mikey,” Donnie turned away so his expression didn’t betray him, carefully controlling the tremor in his voice, “in which part of the building were you and Raph fighting?”
The subcutaneous tracker wasn’t working either. Malfunctioning, both things were malfunctioning.
“At the left side, I think? We were kinda close to the storage area. Is Raph—”
“Stuck?” Donnie interrupted emotionlessly, already activating the air jet of his battle shell. “Probably. I’ll take a look, you stay with Leo.”
He didn’t wait for long enough to hear an answer, immediately kicking off on his jet propulsors.
His devices were malfunctioning, there was no way something as simple as falling concrete would get to Raph. His ninpo was a perfect shield, the projection would have absorbed most of the damage. He could grow and get out of the debris at any given moment so why, why, why, wasn’t he doing that already!?
“Raph!” Donnie called as he flew over the area Mikey had indicated. “Raph!?”
Had he gotten hit on the head before he could activate it? If he had fallen unconscious before the structure collapsed, if he had taken the brunt of the falling debris without his ninpo there to protect him, then he was actually… actually…
“Raphael, this is not funny!” Donnie cried in a mix of panic and dread, frantically checking at the pad of his arm again, hoping that the proximity would make the vitals appear again, that it would make the tracker work. It was just an interrupted signal, he just needed to be closer, so why weren’t they working now that he was closer?
Why was Raph not coming out of the collapsed structure in a bright show of red, yelling “like a boss!” with both arms raised to the sky and a silly grin. Unstoppable. Untouchable. A shining beacon of protective resistance, a glowing red shield that never allowed for any harm to reach Raph, nor anyone else, not for as long as his brother could breathe.
Could he still breathe?
“RAPH!” Donnie was positively panicking now, his own heartbeat was ringing too loud in his ears as he flew around, goggles in place to search for the mystic core all siblings gained when they first activated their Hamato Ninpo.
Because the tracker wasn’t working, the device monitoring Raph’s vitals wasn’t working. Why did his tech choose this time to malfunction? Because it was a malfunction, it had to be, there was no way…
He couldn’t find any trace of the red core, so Raph must have gotten out, somehow. Either that or he was— he was buried too deep for his goggles to detect it…
Or the core didn't shine anymore because he was dead.
“Rad?” Donnie’s voice was barely above a whisper now. “Rad...?”
Breathe, breathe! If his big brother was trapped somewhere here… then Donnie just needed to get him out. He could fix it, he could fix this. He just had to follow the procedure for Structural Collapse Rescue Operations.
Okay. Avoid a secondary collapse. List the hazards for risk of explosion and fire, check the broken gas and water lines, check the energized electrical lines. Assess on-scene capabilities and determine the need for additional resources.
“Angelo, grab Leo and get here, I need help locating Raph,” Donnie instructed through the communicator, pushing down the concern and all other emotions that were not useful for the task at hand. He would deal with those later.
“Leo is not waking up, I already slapped him a bit and he’s not— Dee, he’s not waking up!”
Donnie frowned and checked his pad again.
“His readings are fine, what are you seeing?”
“No blood or anything, but he’s not reacting, not a sound, not a twitch! Dee, Dee can you come back to check on him? I don’t— I don’t know what to do Dee, I don’t…”
Donnie looked at the precarious mountain of debris, determined there was nothing he could do in the short-term to help Raph, and inwardly hoped that his older brother was alive and just unconscious. That he could wait just for a bit longer.
He used the pad to call for Shelldon, who would bring the medical kit, and summon the Turtle Tank so the large vehicle would be at the ready to transport Raph once they got him out of there, since Leo’s portals were apparently out of the picture. His twin really couldn’t have chosen another time to get a concussion, could he?
“I’m coming. Shelldon is on his way with the medical kit.”
A relieved sigh. “Ok.”
It would be fine, Donnie could fix this, he could fix anything.
(x)
Leo hadn’t woken up for days.
He was physically fine, which was the reason why they all had gone into a frenzy. When it came to on-site medical knowledge Donnie could provide emergency maintenance to the hardware, but not the software, so Mikey had called dad, who had suggested the Yokai Hospital of Hidden City.
The diagnosis was that the red eared slider had somehow managed to exhaust all his reserves of mystical energy. There was nothing they could do to help him replenish it faster, so they had no option left but to upkeep the hardware for as long as needed, until the software was back online and Leo naturally rebooted and woke up.
His twin was doing fine. It had taken him a few days to wake up, but he was fine.
Raph, on the other hand.
The X-ray visor was unable to find the skeleton of any large turtle buried in the debris, Donnie’s working force of metallic limbs had left no stone unturned and still found nothing; so the only reasonable explanation for his disappearance was that Raph had managed to get into the portal. Leo had just closed the exit before he could come out, so he was stuck… somewhere else…
Donnie shivered as his mind recalled the space monster that had almost swallowed the Turtle Tank, back when Baxter Stockboy had tried to turn NY citizens against the “Mutant Menace: Winky Face” a.k.a. him and his dum-dum brothers.
Had he been sent to that place? Was Raph dead now?
If anything he was no longer on their planet; because Donnie’s intelligence network would have found him by now if that were the case. Unless he was dead, no pulse to pick up on, no vitals, no ninpo, no nothing.
He must be somewhere else. Which was fixable, Donnie just needed to find a way to track him down and get him back home. He just… needed to fix this…
Unless Raph was dead. Not even Donnie could fix that.
The connection all brothers shared through the ninpo provided little reassurance. Raph’s protective red blinked in and out of existence at odd intervals, and the appearances were much too short, much too weak. Donnie could picture his brother’s life flickering like a dying flame along with it. Wherever he was, he was probably fighting just to stay alive…
Donnie shivered, crouching over the keyboard in a way that made his shell ache, and typed to run the virtual simulator one more time. Portals weren't a Leo-thing, the Footclan had them, Big Mama had them, everyone and their mother's had them, and he would find a way to do so as well.
Tech and Mystic bullshit could converge, as his ninpo was proof of, he just… he just needed to understand more before he could… he just needed to find the right book in the Mystic Library, get more data, and then…
“Donnie?” Mikey’s voice called softly from the lab’s entrance.
“Not now Mikey.”
“I… I brought you food, a sandwich. I know you haven’t—”
“Not hungry,” Donnie interrupted coldly. “I’m busy, so unless someone else is dying, I need to be alone. Leave me alone.”
“R-Raph is not…” Mikey quivered, “he isn’t— he’s just a bit lost… he just…”
Donnie had no answer to that, so he remained silent. The simulation came back with another negative, what was he missing? What variance was he not taking into account? He needed the simulator to come up with a better probability of success, so he could form more hypotheses and start running tests, to bring the experiment from theoretical to practical. He could make Betas with his ninpo to speed up the process, so he didn't waste time and materials on the ones destined to fail, and then make physical Betas with actual material once he mentally fixed most of the failures of the early designs. He could play with the variables infintely until he finally found the answer, until he could find Raph and bring him back home and—
“Y-you know, Carpal Tunnel is an easily preventable—”
“I'd get Carpal Tunnel a thousand times over if it meant having Raph back,” Donnie interrupted the lecture, not even bothering to pause his work. “Back alive, if he still is… if he still is alive…”
Mikey choked a sob, and left the room in a hurry of soft steps. Donnie was so shaken that he barely noticed.
Some time passed. A minute, an hour, a couple of days, it was all irrelevant to him. Failure, failure, all his ideas were ending up in failure, and he couldn’t afford that, Raph was counting on him, Raph needed him to fix this, Donnie had to fix this, he was the fixing guy, he was the genius, he couldn’t fail—
“Donnie—”
“NO!” he jolted and pushed a nearby button, making the lab’s door fall close with frightening velocity.
“Donnie!” April’s voice called again, concern replaced with indignant fury, “you better open the door or so help me!”
“No, please, just leave!” He yelled back, pressing his palms against leaking eyes, “please, I need this, I need to work, I need to save Rad, please April, please just leave me to work!”
If April stepped into the lab it was over, Donnie would find himself taking an unwilling break, but if he did that then who was going to save his big brother? What if they arrived one second too late because he had rested? He couldn’t rest, not until Rad was back home, not until he was safe…
“Donnie… please open the door.”
No, no, no!
Donnie grabbed his noise-canceling headphones and put them on, cleaning his face with his hands until his vision stopped being blurry, and he could make out the letters on the screen again.
Some time passed. Enough for him to grow tired of the headphones pressing against his skull, and enough for April to have left him alone, apparently. There was no sound, no begging, no banging against the metal door…
Donnie removed the headphones and put them aside, but remained with the heavy door closed. He couldn’t afford interruptions and this was the best way to ensure that.
The pass of time was inconsequential for him. Thinking was getting harder, new ideas were slipping through his fingers in a very frustrating manner. He had been able to come up with one after the other when he first started working on this, so why couldn’t he keep it up now? He had water, he had coffee, what else could his body need?
“Dee, my dearest, younger twin.” Fuck Leo, he always found ways to sneak into the lab even with its door closed, he always did, even before portals started being an option. “I'm uh… having some trouble with my beauty sleep—”
Donnie tuned out the words, unwilling to get riled up into stepping out of his lab.
Leo must have noticed he was talking to deaf ears, because he sighed and said in a softer tone. “Besides, it's been a while since we last saw a science documentary together...?”
Scoff.
“Come on Dee, work with me here. I haven't—” a tired sigh. “I haven't slept in three days. I'm kinda dying here…”
“Then perish quietly, I'm trying to work.”
“One: rude,” Donnie could hear the finger gun aimed at his back, even without any pew-pew sounds uttered. “Two: you have been working for waaaay too long without breaks buddy, and I— look, I get it.”
Leon’s voice grew softer, and Donnie inwardly scoffed again. Get it, yeah right. What would he know? His brain obviously had suffered some sort of damage in his early years, because no one could be this dumb— and, wasn’t that the problem?
Wasn’t that what had taken Raph away to begin with?
The plan had been stupid from the start, Donnie had known, and Raph had known as well, anyone half-blind could have seen the concern written all over his face before he had forced out a shaky agreement. Leo had seen it and ignored it, and he should be grateful Donnie was still present enough to not say that to his face, even though Leo most definitely deserved it, something in the back of his head still insisted Donnie shouldn't.
“Dee, I miss Raph too, but you know he wouldn't want—”
“No!” Donnie stood up abruptly, slamming his palms over the metallic desk as the chair rolled away from him. “I don't know what he would or would not want, because he's not here to say it!”
Donnie turned around in a harsh movement that made his waist hurt, glaring at his self-proclaimed twin with a low, angered hiss.
“Are you fixing that? Because if you're not fixing it then I’m fixing it, and for that I need to work, and for that you need to leave! If you care about Raph’s life at all, then LEAVE!”
Leo had been stupid and Donnie now had to clean up after him, fix up what he had broken, just as he always did, except this time the life of their brother was hanging in the balance and Donnie wasn’t— he wasn’t sure he could fix it, but he had to fix it, he had to try, he needed everyone to shut up and leave so he could try!
Leo was, for once, speechless. He nodded once before quietly turning around to open the gigantic metal door, leaving the lab without another word. If Donnie were more aware he would feel guilty, but as it was he just huffed a “finally,” and grabbed the back of his chair to sit down. To get back to work.
“...Purple?” Goddammit, Leo left the door open.
“Dad, if the projector broke down just grab my card and buy a new one. I'm too busy to fix it.”
“It is my cellphone, actually. The thing is not playing the video—”
“No!” Donnie snapped at the screen burning his eyes before forcing himself to speak normally again. “No, Dad, I have no time for—”
“It is one of when you were tots. Please Purple, Donatello. I do not want to lose it, I… I wanted to see my little Red…”
Donnie’s breath hitched at that, his body slowly deflating in defeat. He uncurled his fingers — he hadn’t even noticed he had formed fists — and wordlessly extended a hand to receive the phone, dry gaze lost on his keyboard.
Phone in hand, he took a look at the screen, but it wasn't even broken.
“Dad, I know you're old, but this is too much even for you. All you have to do is literally click the play button,” Donnie groaned, using a finger to demonstrate because apparently, his family was too dumb to even manage that much—
"Sleep tight little tots," a younger Raph cooed in the video, accompanied by the sound of a familiar deep rumble.
"Uhh," Donnie’s head bobbled almost immediately before he jerked back up, trying to stay awake. He wanted to pause it, but the phone was no longer in his hands— when did the rat take it back?
"Stop… the…"
Chuuuuurrrrr.
Donnie didn't wake up, not even when he fell forward and over his dad's expecting arms, who was struggling to lift him not due to lack of strength, but due to the height difference.
"Alright. Blue?"
“I’ve got him,” Leo sighed, kneeling in front of the chair so Splinter could position Donnie to piggy-ride on the slider’s back.
The leader stood up with a huff, and silently walked outside of the room along with Splinter, who stepped ahead just enough to lift the unmade covers to tuck in the softshell.
“Rawph?” Donnie frowned and immediately twisted to kick away the blankets, making a distressed hiss while extending an arm, fingers curling in a blind grabbing motion.
Splinter played the video again, and the trashing stopped as the familiar churring turned into background noise.
“Shelldon, can you play this for the next 48 hrs?” Leo instructed the flying drone.
“Of course, bro.”
“Raph?” another tentative call as Donnie sniffed and shivered, curling on one side to make a grabbing motion towards the source of the sound. When his hand met air again he started to pat the empty space beside him with his eyes still closed, blindly searching for someone that wasn't there. “Rad…?”
Leo sighed sadly, exchanging a meaningful glance with Splinter before trotting out of the room, coming back with the largest plushie Raph owned.
"Rad?"
Donnie hugged it close, burrowing his snout deep against it. Leo waited for the final verdict for a handful of seconds before, at last, his twin made a happy hissy noise, body relaxing as he finally succumbed to deep sleep.
“Thanks dad,” Leo sighed, placing his hands at his lower back to rub at his shell. Dee was heavy, but Leo was still recharging on portal-juice so there was no option but to walk places for now.
“Mm-hmm,” Splinter grabbed Leo’s hand when he tried to walk away.
“Dad?”
“Blue, you were not lying when you said you have not slept in three days,” Splinter said, staring up directly at his tired, tired eyes.
It was not a question, so Leo didn’t answer.
“I am struggling to sleep too,” Splinter admitted with a sigh. “Let us go downstairs to watch a movie.”
Leo relaxed at that, shoulders sagging as he yawned and gave an agreeing nod. “Popcorn?”
“Tea, actually.”
“Yeah… that’s probably a better idea.”
They prepared two cups of tea and turned on the projector, watching without watching as Jupiter Jim saved a planet.
“Blue.”
“Hmm—”
“This is not your fault.”
“ — mmpfftt!” A breeze of tea got out of his lips as Leo jerked and coughed. “Wha— whaaaat? I don’t— it’s not that, pfft, no! I know I couldn’t… I couldn’t have…”
Leo’s grin trembled as his dad just stared at him with a soft, compassionate gaze.
"Blue…"
“It was… it was my plan, my decision to— to take the risk, and I didn’t tell them the building could collapse even though I contemplated that possibility, and I thought I’d get everyone out if/when that happened, but I couldn’t get him out of there, I— I couldn’t… I couldn’t save him, I didn’t…”
“Raphael is not dead.”
“How can you be so sure!?” Leo snapped. “How— how do you know I didn’t send him to fucking space and he asphyxiated because there’s not enough oxygen, nor signal to call for help— or, or if one of the boulders got him at the head, and he got internal swelling and died because it went untreated, because I sent him to who-knows-where! What if my portal sent him to the bottom of some planet’s ocean and he drowned, or—”
“Leonardo!” Splinter interrupted his frenzied rant, crawling up the couch to grab his face and make him focus on the smaller mutant. “Look at me—”
“I TOLD YOU!” Leo screamed, pushing his father away to stand up, panting and crying as he paced back and forth because: “I told you I CAN’T. LEAD! I never wanted to be the leader!"
He sucked at it, he sucked at everything, he hated it when he couldn't do things perfectly on the first go, he hated that everytime Raph corrected him on something he felt insignificant, he hated the fact that he felt hurt and reacted poorly whenever others attempted to help as well, he hated the fact that he had been a stupid enough to share what he felt with his big brother, because that caused all of this. Raph hadn’t disagreed with his stupid plan because Leo had been a total crybaby about whether he was a good leader or not, and it was—
It was all his fault.
"Raph was— Raph was so much better than me, he always kept all of us safe, and— and it worked when I was just helping him with the strategy in the background, everything was A-okay when I wasn’t— when Rad was calling the shots, and I was just…”
“Blue,” Splinter called sadly, “Blue, we have talked about this…”
Leo collapsed on his knees, still crying brokenly because… because they had talked about this.
The had talked about this a week after the change was first implemented, because Leo had been doing everything in his power to royally fuck up every patrol and mission, to be as cocky and infuriating as he could possibly be. He made sure to press everyone's buttons while being as careless and irresponsible as he dared to be, without putting any of his brothers in true danger.
He had been dead set on showing Raph, showing Splinter, showing everyone that he couldn’t and shouldn’t be leader, expecting the role to be taken far, far away from him, he had wished for it to be returned to Raph where it rightfully belonged.
Splinter had pulled him aside one night, after all four of them had yelled at each other in the kitchen, after Mikey left in disappointed tears, after Donnie had gone full non-verbal and started throwing things in his direction, after Raph had growled and punched a crater in the wall in a rare peak of frustrated anger.
“You can’t keep doing this, Leo!” Raph had growled while glaring at Leo’s feet, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. “You’ll get us killed! I’m begging you, please, you need to understand this is NOT. A. GAME!”
Splinter had interfered at that point. His father had dragged him aside, forced him to sit down, and told him what Leo had already known, but had refused to acknowledge.
That just because someone carried it well, didn't mean the burden wasn't heavy.
That Raph was absolutely burned down.
“He has been balancing both, the eldest and leader roles for many years,” Splinter had said, “he' has been carrying the responsibility on both sides of the coin, inside and outside of home. Blue, please understand… Red is very, very tired, and I fear he will break down if this continues. You have seen it too Blue, you have seen what happened after Shredder— after Karai…”
After Karai died to save Raph’s life. The protector being protected, to the point of a family member losing their life in exchange of his own. Losing gram-gram had been a hard hit for everyone, but for Raph… it had absolutely wrecked him.
Of course Leo had seen the signs of Raph’s exhaustion, he just hadn’t wanted to admit to that reality. It had been… it had been easier to get mad at his big brother for leaving the lair without telling anyone, easier to scold him like Raph had scolded all of them many times across the years, for making everyone worry, for not letting anyone know of his whereabouts, for… for not communicating what he felt to his family, for taking refuge with Cassey and Frankenfoot…
Because the lair, their home couldn’t be that safe refuge anymore, all due to Leo’s stupidity, it was his fault. Raph deserved a better brother than him, he was always the one that ended up hurting Raph the most, out of everyone Leo was always the one that...
“Blue? Leonardo, look at me please,” Splinter called, but Leo couldn’t stop sobbing, so he just let his hands drop away from his face, and when his dad got closer with open arms he threw himself at him, taking refuge in his shoulder.
“Leonardo, do you blame Orange for hitting you? Do you think he distracted you…?”
“...what? No!” Leo yelled, pulling back to glare at his father. “Of course not, that was an accident—”
“Nobody intended for it to happen.”
Duh. “That’s what an accident means.”
“Good, now repeat it.”
“Repeat…? Oh, you sneaky rat,” Leo huffed a strangled laugh, jerking away from the hold to frown tearfully at the movie still playing on the projector.
“It was not your fault, Blue. The way I see it, the only ones to blame here are whoever portal-jacked your gate. Señor Hueso said so too, right? His ex-pirate brother confirmed that a second gate was purposely linked with your own.”
“...yeah,” Leo’s gaze darkened. “Piel is the expert in portal-jacking, but not even him could determine who did it. I beat up all the pirates Hueso said could be behind it, but none of them knew anything about Raph. I’m still looking around, and Piel is keeping an ear on the ground for me, but…”
“It is a work in progress.”
“...mm-hmm.”
“Same as Purple's work with his tech. Same as Orange's and April’s investigation into the mystic arts in the Hidden City.”
“Yeah…”
“Blue,” Splinter sighed, placing a clawed hand on his shoulder. “Red would not like seeing you like this.”
“I— I know, but…”
“Come here son. We can listen to the video together, yes?”
“It’s not the same,” Leo huffed with a sad smile, raising a palm to clean the tears that escaped from tired eyelids.
“I know it is not… but honestly, can you imagine his face once we tell him the video helped us sleep at night?”
Raph would make his happy-as-puppy face, sniff dramatically with a wobbly but self-satisfied grin, and then smother everyone into a group hug that, if left up to him, would last for days on end; all the while treating them to the one-in-a-kind churring sound. Leo could almost hear the reassurance already: “Pshh, why rely on a video when you have the original right here? Let’s have a turtle pile!”
Leo gave a short hoot, his version of chuckling at the mental picture, inwardly deciding to let his big bro cuddle for as long as he wanted, once he came back.
Because Raph was coming back.
He… he had to.
Notes:
FANART
Look at this beautiful fanart of Donnie sleeping with Raph's plushie followed up by Heartbreaking Pt2 be prepared to cry poor Donnie missing his Rad *dies crying*
AN
My poor boys, why must you suffer so!? QuQ Ahhhh Donnie and Raph are my favs, and thus, they’re the ones that must suffer the most but my poor teens, I wanna hug all of them so bad…
We have many parallels here~ exact same ending as ch1 <3 Donnie is the fixing guy no matter the dimension, and both Leos are very insecure at the start of their Leader role, both feeling less adequate as they compare themselves with the “better” style of Raph (which is not, he's just more experienced). Poor everyone. At least Splinter didn’t fall into the spiral and is helping his sons out~
I love you guys so much, it’s been a while since I last wrote a fic that had such a positive response in such a short span of time. Thank you for giving this fic a chance! <3
Thanks for reading, I will always treasure your comments, I know those take time and energy that are hard to have on some days! (and some I receive at the unholy hours of dawn, don’t pull a Donnie on me, SLEEP! /hj you guys better be in a different time zone or smth xD)
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 11: Left Behind
Notes:
I've been blessed with more FANART AHHHH look at Raph carrying the three brothers back home and a sad Leo watching TV they're so cute I love it <3 I honestly appreciate the fanart so much, it's such an honor when my fic gets one, I've died of happiness, I'm writting this from the beyond QuQ
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Abandoned
(5K words)
I left him behind, I left Raph behind, I left my big brother behind—
Mikey choked another sob, hiding in his shell with his eyes strongly closed and tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn’t sleep, everything just kept crumbling down after that mission, he hated nighttime, he hated how the intrusive thoughts were harder to control during this time than they were during the day.
Because Mikey knew it wasn’t his fault, nor Leos’. It had been an accident, just a series of coincidences acting up at the same time, no one could have known what was going to happen. It had all just… played out that way in the end.
Raph had agreed to follow Leo’s plan, even when he was obviously troubled by it. Mikey had guessed the sudden lack of discussion was related to their talk earlier that day, since they both had rejoined the group looking tired but a bit more relaxed, a bit better. Probably leadership stuff.
So Raph had agreed to it, with the condition of having everyone stay together. A way to keep everyone in check, to soothe his worries, because his big brother was tediously overprotective like that.
They all had agreed, and thus the mission started; except, they were unable to actually do so and ended up breaking down into pairs… and then—
“Mikey, get in!”
It had been an order, exclaimed in the same firm tone Raph had always used in previous missions. It was the voice that had always carried them all to safety, through thick and thin, no matter what.
Mikey had hidden inside his shell without thinking twice about it, but if he had— if he had stopped for just a second, if he had realized what his big brother was going to do… would he have acted differently?
No, he answered his own question. No, it wouldn’t have changed anything.
Mikey would have still willingly left his big brother behind, he still would have decided to abandon Raph, leaving his big brother to fend off a collapsing building all on his own. Mikey would have trusted him to get out of the mess by his own skills, and that wasn’t— if Mikey had stayed he wouldn’t have hit Leo in the head, the portal wouldn’t have closed a second too soon, and then things would be different, because his big brother wouldn’t be dead lost, unreachable.
He sobbed again, getting out of his shell — he didn’t deserve the refuge, didn’t deserve the calming darkness — so he could curl on his side and hug a pillow close.
“I’m sorry, Raph,” Mikey muttered brokenly against the soft material. “I’m so sorry, I should have stayed…”
He didn’t know how he could have helped against a collapsing building, but he should have stayed. If he had then… then Raph wouldn’t be stranded alone somewhere far away. His big brother hated being alone, especially under these circumstances! With no means of communication to reassure each other, with no way to make face calls, with no preparations or notice of it… Raph was probably having a very hard time, wherever he was.
“I miss you, Raph,” Mikey sniffed, hugging the pillow closer to him. “I want my big brother…”
Because for as much as Raph got under his shell with his constant nagging and babying, Mikey knew that was just Raph being Raph, at the end of the day he was just trying to keep all of them safe, and he now wished his brother had acted as his paranoid self instead of meekly agreeing to Leo's plan that day.
He rubbed his face tiredly. Mikey knew that he should get up, that he needed company to calm down, but his body still refused to move a single inch because his “I can’t sleep” brother was missing, because Raph’s room was empty.
He should… he should go to Leo for a sleepover… the lab’s door was probably still closed so Donnie wasn’t an option… and if neither were available then he could go to Splinter, he supposed.
When Mikey was little he had always thought “I want my big brothers,” more often than he ever did “I want my dad,” whenever he was terrified, worried, sad, lonely, inconsolable.
For him, Splinter was more like… the funny uncle. He was great to pass the time, to occasionally play together, train together, and technically Mikey could go to him when he had nightmares and receive comfort, but any child would go with their parents first thing, if they were available, and that role was… well.
Now that he was older he realized the implications of it and it wasn’t… it wasn’t fair for anyone, but Mikey’s refuge would always be with his brothers more than it was with Splinter. That was how he had grown up, and no amount of logic could change it.
“Please Raph, please,” Mikey sniffed, linking his fingers together as he closed his eyes and focused on his ninpo. He could feel his own energy, he could sense Leo’s recovering flame and Donnie’s swirling purple…
And not a single trace of Raph’s shielding red.
Please, please, please, Mikey prayed internally, trying to search farther away, trying to find the protective red, the one that was always there, always a refuge for anyone that needed it, an unmovable mountain of comfort and safety, but there was nothing...
He curled even more, frowning with his eyes still strongly closed. He searched, and searched, and searched— he had felt Raph’s ninpo before, they all had, it just— it just didn’t last for long, but it was there, Raph. Was. Alive! Donnie was wrong, Raph was fine, his big brother was fine, he had to be fine.
Mikey didn’t know for how long he stayed like that, inwardly searching among the vast space of nothingness, but by the time he opened his eyes again he was spiritually exhausted.
And yet, his mind still refused to shut up and let him sleep.
With a defeated sigh, he forced himself to stand up. He needed help, he needed company… and yeah, probably Leo was on the same boat. He should go have a sleepover with his brother, rest a little, and then maybe they could team up to make Donnie take a break. Mikey couldn’t make him eat anything last time he visited… he should pick a different safe food and try again—
He found himself standing in the middle of the kitchen. Uh, what was he going to do? Oh right, Leo. Sleep.
“Ugh, I hate when this happens,” Mikey scrubbed his face tiredly, “ok, Leo, sleep. No distractions.”
Mikey nodded to himself and forced his legs to move through hallways and tunnels, until he finally got to Leo’s room, which was… empty. Dang it, had his brother gone out alone again? He had been spending a lot of time lurking at the Hidden City’s ports lately, pretty much interrogating all of the folks that were most immersed in the criminal art of portal-jacking, because whoever linked their own portal with Leo's must have done so intentionally. It was virtually impossible to mess with a third-party's portal by accident…
Not like he was any more successful in finding a way to locate Raph than Mikey and April had been. Opposite sides of the city, same result.
Mikey sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes with the flat of his palms. He loved magic, he loved the mystic arts, he was naturally more in tune with it than his brothers, so he learned and adapted to it much faster than them; but even he had to admit that trying to pinpoint the source of portal-jacking was a huge pain in the shell.
He and April had paid multiple visits to the Makers of Brutality, the yokai mob organization whose leader had a soft spot for the best-waiter-in-town Mikey, in hopes of them knowing of any mystical artifact or ritual that could help, but they had gotten no-nothing. There was no way to track the ins and outs of the portals after these closed, which was why the Portal Owners were supposed to protect them preventively, not reactively. According to Lady Beverly, it was pretty much impossible to determine the source of portal-jacking if you didn’t catch it on the act.
Mikey considered that a clue on its own. All he had to do was wait to catch it on the act.
He would wait for Raph’s ninpo to blink back into existence, and then focus inwardly at their shared link and catch the protective red before it could leave. Maybe if he pulled at it the ninpo wouldn’t poof out of existence again, and then they all (mainly Donnie) could work together to track down where the source was coming from. Where Raph was.
He nodded to himself, bouncing on the— wait, why was he bouncing on Leo’s bed? He had come here for a sleepover with his brother, but he wasn't… right, right, sleep. Mikey needed some company to sleep.
Okay, since Leo wasn’t in the lair and Donnie was probably still locked up in his lab, and April had left so she could reassure his parents that this was just a small break from college, she would go back soon and no, her grades were not gonna suffer for it, and Raph wasn’t— his big brother wasn’t home, nor would he be for quite a bit if things continued this way…
Mikey chirped a miserable, calling sound; the one that usually would make Raph dash to crush him in a hug as fast as physically possible.
This time, there was no sound of rushing steps, and no presence engulfing him in comfort.
“You’re coming back, right?” Mikey whispered, rubbing his hands over his biceps in a self-hug, “you wouldn’t leave us behind, right Rad?”
No, Raph wouldn’t leave them to their own devices, not if he had any say in the matter. Unlike Mikey, who had abandoned his big brother without an ounce of hesitation—
“Orange?”
Mikey squeaked and immediately jumped up, because that was what he had always done when startled, ever since his tot years. All of them did, actually. They would either jump over Raph’s shell, hug his head, an arm, or a leg. They would find a way to hide behind him, but Raph wasn’t— he wasn’t here, so Mikey jumped at nothing but thin air.
He landed easily enough, pushing down the lump in his throat to give his dad a bright smile. “Hey, dad. Why are you up so late at night?”
“That is my line, Orange,” Splinter raised an eyebrow, “I was making a round to check everyone was sleeping and found you missing from your room. Why are you here?”
“Uh, there was— uh, something I wanted to ask Leo,” Mikey lied with a small chuckle, “but I think he’s out again, so…”
Splinter gave him a scrutinizing look. Mikey pointedly didn’t sweat bullets while under it.
“No, not this time,” his dad said at last, choosing to let the matter drop as he scratched his cheek and looked elsewhere, “Blue is sleeping on the sofa in front of the projector. I cannot… stay with him throughout the night, however. If you do not mind keeping him company; he has spent one too many days without proper rest, so you could support each other for this night. That is what you intended, right? Is the reason you are in his room?”
Oh dang, Mikey must have been too transparent tonight if his dad had seen right through it so easily. He shouldn’t be worrying his family with something like this, Mikey was the one that helped them out with the whole sorting-emotions stuff, not the other way around. They struggled with these things, and he didn’t, so he should be able to handle his own feelings on his own…
“Heh, ok dad, leave it to me!” Mikey nodded heartily with a military salute, winking playfully at his father. “Honest though, I was just gonna conspire with Leo for the whole, uh… Donnie-situation. You know how Dee gets!”
“Ah, yes… do not fret. Purple was put to rest earlier today.”
“Eh? Really!?” Mikey gasped dramatically, launching himself at his dad to heartily shake him by the shoulders, “how did you do that!? You must tell me the secret! The answer for life, the universe, the beyond—!”
“Orange,” Splinter laughed at his antics, and Mikey felt victorious at the tired but genuine sentiment. This was what he was good at, this was something he could do without problem. Mikey could always find a way to lighten the mood, to make his family laugh, to make them happy.
“Seriously, HOW!?”
“Orange, I am growing dizzy,” Splinter laughed, pushing him back with a half-hearted swat, “and you can nag Blue for the details tomorrow, it was his plan to begin with.”
Mikey had already figured as much, it wasn’t like Splinter knew any of them well enough to succeed at something as intimate as helping them fall asleep, not on his own accord—
Oh, wow, that was unexpectedly harsh. What the shell, brain? He really must be tired.
Outwardly Mikey just grinned, slamming a fist against his palm with dramatic resolution. “I will make Leo spill the hot soup tomorrow, mark my words!”
His dad cackled a genuine laugh at that, throwing his head back and covering his eyes with a palm. References to Lou Jitsu never failed to brighten his mood, if albeit temporarily.
“Oh, and I thought Purple was the funny one,” his dad admitted at last, still chuckling to himself, “very well Orange, you go do that. I left a futon near the couch, you can hold Blue’s hand as he rests.”
“Sure will do!” Mikey nodded with a grin, stepping closer to squeeze his father in a tight hug. “Good night, dad.”
“Sweet dreams, Michelangelo,” Splinter sighed softly over his shoulder. Full name, huh? Maybe his dad needed a session with Dr. Feelings sometime soon. He could probably squeeze one in tomorrow...
But tonight was tonight, and tomorrow was tomorrow, so in the end Mikey feigned not to notice as he waved goodbye and dashed away, running across hallways as he moved towards the TV room.
It was a projector, so Donnie insisted it should be called Projector room, but that was much too long and TV room still made enough sense. Hm, he wondered how they had managed to put Dee to sleep. His brother was always difficult to handle whenever he got too deep into the spiral, and since this one was triggered by unparalleled worry it was even worse than usual.
Mikey had made sandwiches, something easy to eat, without mayonnaise and all the other stuff Donnie hated. It was one of his safe foods… but that hadn't been enough, so Mikey should try with puddin tomorrow, maybe something sweet would be easier for Dee to accept. It wasn’t the healthiest option, but it was better than surviving on nothing but water and coffee, so—
He was in the kitchen again. No, where was he going? Um… right, TV room, Leo, sleep. Jeez, Mikey really needed to sleep, his mind was all jumbly-fuzzy tonight, he was usually not this bad…
Anyways, Leo. TV room. No distractions, let’s goooo!
(x)
(x)
(x)
“ — everything was A-okay when I wasn’t— when Rad was calling the shots, and I was just…”
“You wouldn’t leave us behind, right Rad?”
“Raph?” another tentative call as Purple sniffed and shivered, curling on one side to make a grabbing motion in Shelldon’s direction, then patting the empty space beside him in a blind search. “Rad…?”
The “Rad” nickname was a running, internal joke among his sons.
It was also a testament of just how badly Splinter had failed them all. He was convinced that the only reason they called him "dad" at all was because Red had insisted on the title when they were little, because he certainly hadn’t deserved it back then. Splinter was nothing but a pathetic rat man that always gave too little too late where it concerned his poor turtles.
Oh, how he had claimed as a teenager that he would be better than his grandpa had been. That he would be better than the Hamato clan as a whole, because he would never make it a child’s duty to spend their entire lives training and preparing “just in case” the Shredder ever returned. He would not steal their childhood in the same way his own had been stolen, and he would never sacrifice the life of a Hamato — like the life of his own mother had been — in the name of renewing the “seal” of a demon Splinter hadn’t even believed to be real.
His Grandpa must have been the last one to willingly take his own life to renew the seal. He was much older than his mother had been though, so it had bought them just a few more years of peace.
After that, since Splinter didn’t do the same, in the end the seal had been too weakened to remain in place. Karai had been essentially kicked out of Shredder’s containment space, and she had done the reasonable thing and tracked the Hamato family down with nothing but her ninpo to guide her.
She had found them in NYC sewers, and, all things considered, had adapted remarkably fast to the whole "my family is composed of a rat and four turtles" situation.
Then Shredder had found them not long after that, and had ripped apart everything they held dear. Karai’s life, the complete destruction of the whole lair, their safe place, their home. Splinter had stayed behind, to buy more time for his sons to escape, only for that same action to become their undoing later on as he was both: used as bait for his turtles to come to his rescue; and tied down like an animal in the middle of a ritual circle, having his spiritual essence almost fully stolen by the possessed armor.
Even when he tried, he still failed.
He had failed them all spectacularly, time and again, and Red as the eldest was often the one to take the brunt of his shortcomings… his poor Red had cried so, so much after the Shredder was defeated.
I was at a loss, I didn't know what to do, if April hadn't— if gram-gram hadn't… I would have failed you, you would have died, Shredder would have become invincible and I'm so sorry pops—
“Ugh” he passed a hand over his face, exhausted. He had spent all the days Blue was in a coma sitting at his side, to watch over him, yes, but also to have an excuse to remain immobile while still being somewhat useful, because when April told him the full detail of what had happened in their latest mission…
Fuck, April was the one to tell him. April, who had been two states away in college, had been informed about the details of the gone-wrong mission sooner than Splinter had been. All he had known before that was that Blue had gotten a hit to the head and was not waking up, so he had suggested the Yokai Hospital, and then Orange had said “got it!” and hung up on him, and after that no one had cared to share nothing, zero, nada. Splinter had tried contacting everyone and got no reply until he called April—
Double fuck, April wouldn’t have told him if he hadn’t called.
“I am pathetic,” Splinter whispered in his palm, ears lowered as tears pooled at the corners of his eyes, “My own kids… they think I cannot be trusted with something like caring for my own family?”
Even worse, even now, under these circumstances, his family didn’t expect him to do anything to help.
Purple was working himself into exhaustion with his tech, Orange and April were always coming in and out of the Hidden City, speaking with people, searching for clues, for alternative options, and Blue had joined them as soon as he woke up and was told the news.
“And Raph’s not here mother-henning at my comatose side? Ohhh-ho-ho, I am SO going to use this next time he asks me to do chores!
“…Raph is gone? What— what do you mean Raph is gone!?”
The news of a missing brother.
The news of a missing father figure, because in spite of Splinter’s efforts in the last decade to be better, that didn’t change the fact that he had done nothing but the bare minimum for the first five years they had been living together, which caused a drift of different proportions with all of his sons.
Blue was the one closest to him. The slider had always come to him whenever “Rad was being unfair” as a request for Splinter to either sort things out among the turtles or as distraction, asking for Splinter to play with him, or with all of them together. Lighten the mood.
Blue had always been the most intrepid, energetic, and the absolute worst at measuring the risk his games entailed, so he had clashed often with Red’s fierce protectiveness over the youngest and the more-sensitive softshell. The disagreements had been frequent, and Splinter had been content to play and intercede whenever Blue called for him.
And when Red told all his brothers that Splinter used to be Lou Jitsu, the already-existing admiration just skyrocketed to the roof into something more akin to idealization. For a short while, at least, but Splinter suspected it never fully disappeared.
In the end, Blue was the one that followed in his footsteps the most.
Red was the second closest to him. He always seemed to look up to him with warm gratitude, and a level of understanding that Splinter most definitely hadn’t deserved in those early years. Red easily accepted that Splinter was far from perfect, but he was somehow still happy that his “pops” was better than the shitty man the poor snapper had lived with for his first five years, and fuck, the bar was literally on the floor, and yet Splinter had been barely better, he was— Red had deserved better.
They all had deserved better.
They all still deserved better.
Splinter couldn’t look at Red without being reminded of all of his past mistakes, so he tried to compensate for that by accepting anything and everything his eldest requested, which wasn’t much, nor very frequent. It was usually things like hugs, marathon night, pizza night, please hug my head and pet me until I fall asleep; can we please spend a day outside together, just the two of us… Red never asked for anything ludicrous and Splinter both loved him and resented him for it. Red deserved the world, but was content with nothing but the sewers because that’s where his family was at.
Splinter would always be sorry, and always be grateful, when it came to his eldest.
Orange was the third closest to him. Always bright, happy, playful, creative, and always more cunning than his brothers gave him credit for. An expert prankster, Splinter loved the fiery spirit of his youngest, and the competitiveness he evoked on Blue was amusing beyond words.
And although Orange never really approached Splinter for help in his not-so-great days, the smallest did come to him for tips on training, or help in the kitchen, or to prepare a surprise party for one of his older brothers. Most of the time Orange didn’t even need the help, but Splinter still grabbed the offered excuse to get up from the sofa and feel somewhat useful, because the offer somehow always reached him on the days he was feeling like breathing trash.
Michelangelo always had a sharp eye for the hows and whys someone did anything, and in the latest years managed to become a master manipulator when it came to forcing the victim into addressing the roots of their issues. All the matters concerning the mind, emotions, feelings and— well, Psychology in general, was a special interest of his, and everyone in the family was attacked with the brunt force of said knowledge when they least expected it.
At least Orange used his power for good, he supposed… it had been a while since he was last locked up with Dr. Feelings, and Splinter hoped that would remain unchanged. He had refused to say a peep to his son back then, and that silence was something that he would continue to keep, because a dad shouldn’t be onloading that sort of weight on his kids.
He should go to see a therapist in the Hidden City, but that was neither here nor there.
And at last, there was Purple. Splinter had failed all of his sons in different ways, but the softshell was easily the second turtle he had failed the most, right after Red. Splinter hadn’t even noticed the kid needed glasses until Blue pointed it out to him one day. Splinter hadn’t known that certain foods were unacceptable and that forcing Purple to eat would inevitably end up in a meltdown that Splinter had thought, back then, was nothing but a tantrum; which resulted in a harsh scolding for the already-miserable softshell.
He hadn’t been able to understand what the hisses meant, because Splinter wasn’t his primary caretaker, and had thus often ignored the non-verbal requests/pleading for him to do or stop doing something. It wasn’t until he tried to give Purple a bath — Orange had spilled paint all over his back by accident — that things changed.
After the first hard scrub the softshell had screeched a wail, the loudest cry Splinter had ever witnessed from the usually too-quiet turtle.
Not two seconds later Red had slammed the door open, dashing towards the tub. He had bitten Splinter's arm as if the brush he held were a weapon, and he had been hurting his little brother with it.
Which was accurate, as he would later learn, because Splinter had been unknowingly hurting the softshell.
Splinter had held the bleeding arm close to his chest, hurt and confused beyond words, and watched in stupefied silence as Red chirped and churred soothingly at a crying Purple, then filled the tub with water so his younger brother could hide from his attacker, from Splinter, soak in it to calm down. There were no words exchanged between them during the whole sequence, just a deep understanding that didn’t seem to require any.
“No shell-scrubbing, it hurts Donnie!” Red had admonished even as he offered the first aid kit to him, “but, um, sorry for biting you. I didn’t— I just wanted you to stop, but I shouldn’t have— I shouldn't— I’m sorry pops…”
Splinter had bandaged his arm and hugged his crying eldest, waiting for the snapper to calm down so he could ask to know what, exactly, was so different about Purple.
Red had explained to him all the things Splinter should have known already, everything he would have known if he had just bothered to be a real parent.
But he hadn’t been a real parent, and thus hadn’t known any of those things, and looking back at his interactions with Purple after being made aware of it all… it just highlighted everything he had done wrong.
And that he would have kept doing wrong, if he hadn’t asked.
That had been his wake up call. Splinter had tried to be better after that happened, tried to be more present, pay more attention to all of his son's little quirks and individual needs, tried to become a real parent, but Purple was never one to forget, nor forgive so easily.
As time passed Splinter had managed to earn something akin to trust from his most brilliant son, had managed to at least reassure him that Splinter would never hurt him to that extent ever again, that he would try and keep trying — no matter how utterly frustrating it could be, how maddening it could get. Splinter forgot the sandwich went without mayonnaise once. ONCE. And suddenly nothing he cooked was safe to eat!? — to understand what made Purple unique, but even after all his efforts…
Purple was never one to request anything from him — except Uranium, because Red kept saying no — and seemed content to just lurk in the background with his brothers in the family nights, squeezing Splinter's shoulder in passing but never sitting too close to him.
Purple had the habit of giving dramatic presentations about his most complex inventions, essentially showing off the ones he felt the proudest about, like their turtle tank, but those displays never included Splinter. Most of the time he would just get to see it after the fact, and the softshell would grin and ‘infodump’ about it, but never care for whatever opinion Splinter may have on it, other than the “Great job” compliments, at least. Those did seem to brighten him a bit.
“I know, right!? Everyone was rightfully impressed! My genius is hard to surpass but I DID manage to outshine myself with this one~”
Splinter was rarely if ever included among the “everyone” in that sentence.
"I am pathetic," he repeated to himself, taking deep breaths to control the heartbroken tremors.
He had no doubt that his sons loved him, but there was a drift he found himself unable to close. Nothing Splinter tried could make the parent role be transferred from Red to him, who seemed to fulfill the role from the very beginning and up to this day with astounding ease, and now…
Now no one seemed bothered with the idea of Splinter staying in the lair, uselessly sitting on the sofa to watch TV, while they all worked themselves into a frenzy to try to find a way to reach Red, wherever his poor son may be stranded at, and bring him back home.
The notion hurt very, very much. The feeling was akin to having someone grab directly at his heart, clawing and twisting the vital organ as they tried to pierce it beyond use.
No one expected anything from him.
But… but Splinter didn’t need them to.
He would forever owe his sons for many, many things, and this one was not going to become part of that long list.
It had taken him a few days, but he had finally found something worth exchanging. Splinter could and would help out his family. He was going to confront the person that had hurt him the most, that had kept him prisoner for years, because said person was the one most likely to harbor the knowledge that his family needed. That Red needed.
Splinter was going to pay a visit to Big Mama.
And if that didn't work out… if the object in his pocket wasn't enough to make her help...
...then he would go to the Yokai prison and pay a visit to the one that had hurt Red the most, but whose expertise on the mystic arts could not be denied:
Draxum.
Notes:
On the re-watch I noticed that for as much as canon Rise!Donnie seeks parent-aged approval, he never goes to show-off his inventions to Splinter. Almost like he has inwardly given up on it…
Poor Rise!Splinter, after he was mutated he suddenly had no identity, no fame, no money, no glory, no home, and 4 new (very unplanned for) babies to look after, one traumatized, and all neurodivergent with special needs. A very drastic change! He is much too aware of his own faults, and tries hard to be better, but alas… he’s too hard on himself and doesn't recognize the things that he does well QwQ letting his kids be kids was better than what other TMNT versions could get, he really didn’t pass on his generational trauma!
And well, some things are not so easy to fix, and the more he fails the harder it becomes to keep trying, particularly for someone that, like Leo, has always been talented, doing most things with bragging rights on the first attempt~ Ah, the Leos always end up taking after their Splinter, do they not?
Mikey chooses not to burden anyone else with the things he can’t solve on his own. Because while Leo is the one to use humor as a coping mechanism, Mikey is not too far behind, showing only his positive/playful side to his family and keeping the other side of the coin to himself. It's no wonder he gets along so well with Leo xD
Also, I just found this compilation of Clinging to big Bro in scary moments and loved it!
As always, thanks for reading! ;) The longer a fic becomes the less likely new people tap on it (understandable, reading something of this length takes time & energy/mood to process such a long story) so I’m grateful for those of you that I’ve seen in previous chapters and continue to bless me with your comments on later updates. ILY! <3 and if you’re a new reader and have reached this chapter, you’re quite brave! Thanks for giving this fic a chance~
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 12: Draxum
Notes:
This is a Flashback chapter. Everything that happens here is already hinted at in the rest of the story. If uncomfortable, you can:
- See this beautiful animatic based on this chapter <3 QuQ or THIS beautiful animatic AHHH
- Skip the chapter.
- Start reading at this point: “START HERE” to avoid the TW segments.
- Read the summary in the Author’s note at the bottom.
There is NO FLUFF in this chapter, you’re not missing anything wholesome, believe me. You can safely skip and enjoy the rest of the story <3
Trigger Warning: Child Abuse, withholding of food, imprisonment, off-screen violence and mentions of murder.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draxum
(4K words)
The Great Baron Draxum was an alchemist mutant warrior, a master of the mystic arts, and was well and fully aware that the scientific method demanded a process of trial and error. For an idea to become an hypothesis, from which then he would need to experiment upon until the result obtained was what he required.
He had created many mutations that were fast and strong; excellent creatures that were not smart enough to deploy war strategy by themselves, but that could follow basic commands without issue. They made for excellent soldiers, but their lack of intelligence meant they would require instructions while on the field, and for as skilled as he was, Draxum was still just a single individual.
It would be virtually impossible for him to command all troops personally. Thus, he had little option but to accept the fact that he would require assistance. Intelligent, loyal assistance — more reliable than any hired henchmen could be — a group of individuals that he could shape to be what he needed them to be: commanders that could lead the tropes on the war to come.
Thus, the creation of Subject One. Whatever happened to this one, he would learn from it and improve the formula for the specimens that followed.
Besides, Huginn and Muninn had only been able to get enough DNA samples for a single mutation. Lou Jitsu was the champion of the Battle Nexus and thus, heavily guarded by Big Mama. The gargoyles had gone to the arena in hopes of collecting a blood sample, but true to his undisputed title, the human warrior rarely bled from injury, no matter the strength of the opponent or against how many he was made to fight.
It had taken a while, but in the end the gargoyles had finally gotten one sample. The little creatures refused to disclose their methods, but in this instance Draxum cared not for the process, only the result.
And the result.
“Da?”
The result was absurdly adorable peculiar.
He had chosen an alligator snapping turtle, figuring that even if he messed up the first subject the resulting soldier would still be somewhat useful by virtue of its size alone.
“Da!”
“Draxum, the name is Draxum, not Da,” he repeated for what was probably the hundredth time as he knelt down. “But I do acknowledge your trial, even if it ends with error still.”
Draxum usually made an effort to maintain an intimidating image. Things like tenderness or physical displays of affection were not useful for that, but here, in this solitary cell, he allowed himself to enter without his helmet and dark teal bodysuit to—
“Daaaa!” green fingers made a grabbing motion.
“Patience is a virtue.”
To pick up the rapidly-growing creature that was already the size of his forearm, and was starting to attempt to speak. Draxum carefully handled it so the spikes would not scratch at his unprotected skin and cloth, as he cradled the little turtle close to his chest.
Because, as his current situation could attest, it was apparent that he couldn’t name, take care of, and watch develop an infant without becoming attached to it.
He had no need for unwillingly-formed attachments to his mutated soldiers, so he had made a mental note to delegate the fulfillment of basic living needs to his attendants for the next test subjects. Subject One though…
“Da!”
He would personally supervise its development. Just to see what else could be improved in the mutagen formula, no more.
“Dawwwr!” the toothless creature mumbled, nibbling at his hand with little bird-like chirps. Draxum stared at it, somewhat mesmerized by the sight until the action resulted in dripping drool falling on previously-clean robes.
“Draxum, not Dawr,” he corrected, snapping out of the trance with a disgusted sneer, “and that is highly unhygienic, do you have any semblance of the amount of bacteria that is present in saliva? I strongly suggest you stop before I force you to.”
When Subject One just grabbed his wrist and continued to babble incoherently around his hand, Draxum huffed through his nose and curled one clawed finger to inflict injury on the roof of its mouth.
The creature wailed and trashed in his hold, coughing up spit and blood, but it was effective in making it release his hand.
“I provide only one warning. That is a lesson you would do well to remember.”
It continued to cry and move wildly in his arms, and at this rate getting scratched by the spikes was highly probable, so Draxum dropped it. Subject One fell on its shell, and cried even louder.
“Silence is also a virtue,” Draxum tried to say over the wails, but judging by the intensity of the sound it was unlikely his words were reaching the target. He sighed, using his one clean hand to run his fingers through his hair, and reluctantly knelt down to pat the creature’s head comfortingly.
“Silence, I said silence,” he repeated softly along with the pats, and the creature finally stopped crying and looked up tearfully at him. It had also stopped bleeding from its mouth already, the accelerated healing was working properly, as Draxum knew it would. Honestly, crying over an injury that wouldn’t even last two minutes was overly dramatic.
“Da?”
“Draxum. The word you are searching for is Draxum.”
Subject One sniffed and struggled to sit up, making a grabbing motion in his direction once he succeeded.
“Do not move too much while on my hold, or I will drop you again.”
(x)
It was growing at a very fast pace.
“AGHHH!”
Perhaps a bit too fast, even. The mind didn’t seem to develop at the same rate the body did, which resulted in unpaired speech patterns, and the lack of skill to formulate strategies for battle that differed from a straightforward: smash it. The turtle also seemed to struggle to maintain its increased healing factor as it continued its growth spurt, and the injuries that had previously healed in nothing but minutes were now taking considerably longer, leaving a testament of scars over green scales.
Draxum would have to remove the accelerated growth from the formula before mutating the other Subjects.
“Halt,” he ordered after Subject One fell again, rolling on the dirt like a ball that was aiming to collect as many bruises and scratches as it possibly could. Those would probably result in the addition of new skin marks.
They were so unnecessary.
“I don’t understand the reason for your struggle,” Draxum said honestly. “I provided all the information needed at the beginning of the exercise, you already know how to defeat your opponent.”
Subject One curled into a ball, as three-fingered hands rubbed at the blood coming from its nose in a vain attempt of making it stop, all the while silently crying, the tremors of sobs were visible even from such a distance. It was a pathetic sight, and his commanders were not made to be pathetic.
“Cease your behavior and stand up, or I will withhold the meal of today.”
Subject One would have more than one meal available per day if it stopped the illogical tantrums that preceded attending to the fighting exercises, but since that had yet to happen, Draxum had little choice but to get creative in his coercive methods, and so far this was the only one that didn’t require any effort from his part and was still effective.
Or was usually effective, at least. Right now his creation was still sobbing in a fetal position on the floor. Did it even hear his instruction?
“Crying will not solve your current dilemma. There is no use for it, and I did not make you to be useless. Stand. Up.”
The turtle just curled on itself even tighter, shivering. Hmmm, how curious, did it want to hide inside its shell?
“Your kind cannot retreat into their shell,” Draxum clarified the obvious, but now that he thought about the matter, it would be useful if the next subject could hide inside, so they would fit in smaller places, infiltrate more easily. He made a mental note of it.
“P-pwease…” there was… something in its voice that called for his compliance.
Draxum sighed, and made a hand gesture to call off the exercise. Attachment to his soldiers was an inconvenience he really could do without.
“You will not be coddled in a real fight. If you are to command, you need to understand basic battle strategy, at least.”
Subject One sniffed and shakily stood up, giving a slow nod with blood still trailing down its snout. Draxum should increase the healing factor for the next subjects as well, just in case this unexpected deficiency was not linked to the accelerated growth of the serum’s formula.
In the meantime, though…
“...come here so I can tend to your injuries.” Technically he could delegate such tasks to his paper minions — the magic granting them ‘life’ lasted only for a few hours, but it was the cheapest resource Draxum had at his disposal that still got things done in the way he needed — but there was something about seeing the turtle standing alone bleeding and miserable that made him want to be directly involved in treating the inflicted damage.
“There, there… shush now…”
And if he let Subject One sit on his lap while he did so, and gave comforting rubs at the spiky shell as the turtle nuzzled and sniffed against his shoulder, no one had to know.
(x)
Subject One improved with the passage of time.
At some point he actually started to win against his opponents, even if he resorted to messy tactics like crushing the opponent’s windpipe or snapping a limb off with nothing but his powerful jaw, victory was victory, and it made Draxum feel something akin to pride. If the instances weren’t so far and in between it would be a great achievement—
A loud, intolerably high-pitched wail resounded from the battlefield below, and Draxum grimaced at the sound and snapped: “Subject One, stop that at once!”
His creation really could improve his reaction to victory as well, because currently right after winning a match, once the opponent stopped twitching and breathing, the turtle would cry at the top of his lungs. Crying, so much crying, what was the point in useless crying?
“Do not make me repeat myself!” Draxum scolded and summoned a single purple vine from underneath the turtle, wrapping it tightly around his snout to forcefully silence the cries. His creation thrashed and tried to pry it off, so he gestured for the vine to move until the whole body was fully immobilized.
After a handful of minutes the turtle sagged in defeat, and peace reigned once more. He made a dismissive hand gesture so his vines retreated back into the ground, and pressed a button to open the cage of the next opponent, inwardly hoping that the pattern of previous days would not be repeated again for this second match.
He was, sadly, mistaken.
In the battle that followed Subject One performed remarkably poorly. The turtle wouldn’t even move from the starting line, and would just stand still and let his opponent beat him without any reaction whatsoever, not to defend or counter, and much less to evade.
Draxum had no option left but to call off the match, just like he had done in previous instances.
“You did well during the first round, so why did you freeze on this fight?” Draxum repeated the question he had been asking since this strange pattern started, cupping the turtle’s cheek to gently turn his head to one side, as he cleaned and disinfected the bleeding injuries.
But no matter how many times he asked, he was only ever met with a vacant stare and silence.
This trend lasted for several months, until finally, Subject One started to win every single fight. The ferociousness of the isolated events became the norm, as the turtle perfected the combination of attack and defense he needed to—
“HALT!” Accelerated healing or not, a lost limb would not regrow.
(x) — START HERE — (x)
“Don't you realize the severity of the damage you could have sustained!?” Draxum exclaimed while grabbing his creation by the shoulders, uncaring of the spikes digging into his palms. “Don't do something like that ever again! That’s an order!”
Subject One seemed confused, but nodded shakily. “S-sorry…?”
“You should be! You cannot act without thinking of the consequences!” Draxum yelled, even though there was no need to since he was quite close to his intended audience, but he cared not whether it was logical or not. All he cared for—
All he… cared for.
“I care,” Draxum whispered in a heavy exhale, looking at confused dark eyes, the fading marks of still-healing lacerations, the single snaggle tooth poking at a lower lip.
“Uh… um?”
“I care,” he repeated to himself with an air of defeat.
He hadn’t realized it was to this extent, but the idea of his creation suffering long-sustaining damage, one the little turtle wouldn’t be able to heal from, was… unacceptable.
“You…” Draxum sighed at last, placing a single hand at the top of the snapper’s head, ignoring the reflexive flinch. “You are going to stay at my side.”
There was no happiness nor horror at the revelation. Subject One just tilted his head, confused.
“Why?”
“Because I order it so,” Draxum rubbed the top of his head, in what he now accepted was an affectionate gesture. “Just… follow me.”
(x)
“They are what?” Subject One inquired in one of Draxum’s supervising rounds, poking at the glass separating them from the holding cell of Subject Two and Three.
“Soldiers,” Draxum answered simply, “or at least one day, they will be. For now, they are still at the stage of developing basic motor functions.”
“...babies?”
“Correct,” Draxum patted the top of his head, inwardly pleased at the lack of flinching. Encouraged, he pulled the little snapper’s head closer to his hip, rubbing his cheek affectionately with one thumb. “Subject Two and Three are infants with a single year of life.”
“Together?” his creation commented without looking away from the smaller mutations, otherwise not reacting to the gesture.
“They are temporarily sharing space, yes. That will be rectified once the remodeling is over, do you recall that?”
Subject One nodded, eyes still focused on the other turtle specimens as he pressed his face against the glass. “Yes. New, big, spooky.”
“That is not the name of the machinery,” Draxum sighed, nudging his creation forward with a hand at the shoulder, “and we need to continue, so start walking.”
The snapper nodded and followed the instruction without issue. Subject One may not be very smart in terms of battle strategy, and the speech pattern was just now slightly improving — Draxum had bought one of those books that helped adults teach vocabulary to their descendants. So far it had proved quite useful, they were practicing everyday before bedtime — but if there was one thing he was good at, it was following orders.
Subject One would make for a good second in command, once he grew older and could learn more on what he lacked. Once he shed the childish behaviors he still insisted on clinging on, like the reluctance to kill his opponents.
The potential was there. At his current rate the turtle would grow to be a strong, heavy fighter, and with the suspension of the fighting exercises and the increased frequency of daily meals the healing factor had improved marginally — as an accident revealed — which was a very welcome development. This way, even as a close-range fighter, his life would never be truly at risk.
Draxum would not have it any other way. He was already thinking about keeping some of the strongest creatures as bodyguards, just to ensure Subject One’s overall safety once they were ready to start the war…
“Draxum?”
“Yes?”
“Other… baby turtles?”
“Subject Four is the last one, I will experiment with other creatures once the donor is brought here. I have requested the two Gargoyles to help me in this quest.”
The snapper gasped, pulling at Draxum’s robe excitedly and forcing him to halt. “Can see Four too?”
It was rare for the small one to be excited about something, and watching him made Draxum feel sort of warm, so he yielded quickly.
“Subject Four is only a few weeks old, it does nothing but squeak,” he warned, but that only served to increase the childish excitement present in abnormally lively eyes — they were usually so dark and dull.
Draxum couldn’t understand what was so intriguing about seeing small creatures that were still too underdeveloped to perform basic living functions by themselves, but if it made Subject One happy then he saw no harm in it, so he chuckled to himself and guided his creation to a different hallway.
(x)
“Lou Jitsu, your dexterity and skill as a warrior is legendary.”
“My days of fighting are over; I will not harm another creature ever again,” Lou Jitsu stated firmly with crossed arms, before leaning to one side with a confused frown. “Is that a kid?”
“Hi,” Subject One greeted, peeking timidly from behind him. Draxum patted his head absentmindedly.
“I do not require you to fight, Lou Jitsu. I only require your genetically-gifted essence.”
“One: that sounds gross. Two: how old are you, kiddo?”
“...Five, Mister.”
“Mister? Aww, that’s adorable,” the warrior extended an arm through the gaps of his containment cell and gestured for Subject One to approach him.
The snapper turned to him for further instruction, so Draxum nodded once. “In spite of his remarkable fighting skill, this warrior has retired by his own volition. You may engage with your DNA donor—”
“I’m his what.”
“ — while I oversee the preparation of the next subjects.”
(x)
He had left for only ten minutes. Twelve, at most.
The warrior was already out of his containment cell by the time he returned.
“I know I said I would never fight again, but you,” Lou Jitsu curled his upper lip with disgust. “You have earned it.”
Draxum ignored the blatant threat, because— because the absence of the turtle was immediately noticeable.
“Where is Subject One?” he asked frantically, turning around in hopes of spotting the spiky shell, only for his gaze to be blocked by the sole of a shoe.
“Where is Subject One!?” he repeated with a snarl, summoning forward the purple vines to confront the human, even as the ones not engaged in combat lifted machines and cages, trying to find his creation. The snapping turtle hadn’t gone through any fighting exercises in the last couple of months, there was no way his small creation could have won against the champion of Battle Nexus—
“Babies!” the familiar voice exclaimed, and Draxum turned around to see the five-year-old snapper carrying Subject Two, Three, and Four in his arms.
“Subject One!” Draxum called in relief before a hit connected to the back of his head, and the world blurred as he fell from considerable height.
“...sub…one,” the edges of his vision were starting to darken. He could hear the sound of something exploding in the background.
“Ouch, you little shit! Damn rat!”
“Mister?”
“Uh, don’t repeat thaaaaa— what the— m-my hands!?”
“Mister!”
“Shit, shit, that green thing— run! Let's just run!”
“Sss… One…”
“Don’t worry Boss, we’ll get you out of here!”
(x)
His mutations had escaped. His lab had been destroyed, and with it decades of work; as the machinery, notes, raw materials, everything burned to the ground.
And yet, all he cared for was to—
“Find Subject One!” He threw one of the pieces of debris at the gargoyle’s direction, heaving in frustration. “How can you steal Lou Jitsu right from under Big Mama’s greedy claws, but continue to fail on finding my creation!?”
Huginn and Muninn exchanged a worried glance. “Boss… he’s not in the Hidden City.”
“He cannot be up with the humans, ” Draxum spat the last word with hatred. “They are the subjects of the prophecy, they fear what they don’t understand, they would kill him!”
They would… kill him.
The humans would definitely kill Subject One. His creation, his… his…
His.
“I will not wait.”
“Boss?”
“No, I cannot wait. If I do, those pathetic, furless creatures that compose the human race will murder Subject One,” Draxum said through gritted teeth, one fist curling strongly enough for his claws to dig into his palm, drawing blood.
“But… but everything in the lab was destroyed.”
“The Great Baron Draxum is an alchemist mutant warrior,” he straightened to his full height, “and I shall demonstrate just how skilled a warrior I can be.”
Notes:
Did you seriously believe that the author that made you wait for 9 chapters before showing Rise!Pov would give you the encounter with Present!Draxum next? LMAO you’ve been bamboozled by yours truly <3 I have zero (0) regrets.
These holidays I've been BLESSED with this beautiful fanart of Donnie sleeping with Raph's plushie followed up by Heartbreaking Pt2 because she has NO MERCY be prepared to cry and received a beautiful x-mas gift in the form of DOODLES! I love them so much, they're so cute!
Turns out, Lou Jitsu had just started keeping rats as pets, and their bites made him bleed a lot :D Samples 1 to 4 were collected in this manner lol.
So, this is the background story for our poor Raph. Come cry with me.
SUMMARY: Draxum is realistic and understands that he can’t lead troops alone, thus, settling on creating our turtle boys, to be soldiers/commanders. He only has one sample of blood from Lou Jitsu though, and he wants to note down everything that can be improved in the mutagen formula, so he creates Raph, aka: “Subject One,” and takes his time analyzing “its” development.
He gets attached to the toddler against his will, so he becomes a contradicting figure: “I hurt you, but I tend to your injuries as well. Fight and grow stronger, but don’t suffer significant injury, don’t make me worry.” After five years and a close-call where Raph almost loses an arm (mentioned in ch3) Draxum accepts that he cares for Raph and stops the exercises, keeping him at his side 24/7 instead. By this point the other 3 turtles are already mutated, but Draxum learned his lesson and purposely stays away from the tots to avoid becoming attached to them as well.
Draxum’s “love” is not healthy by any means. It’s possessive and narcissistic, in the sense that he still only cares for the idea of Raph that he created in his head, his “potential” and doesn’t see, accept, nor love the parts of the toddler he doesn’t agree with. Crying? Reluctance to kill? Pure nonsense, he will outgrow such a silly phase!
AN: In my head I sort of compare it to the Arcane Netflix show, Silco’s love towards Jinx. If you don’t mind spoilers, this tiktok explains it quite well.
In the end his undoing is the Goyle’s success in kidnapping Lou Jitsu, and leaving Raph alone with the human warrior while he went out to fetch the next batch of “commanders” to be mutated. By the time he comes back Raph is nowhere to be seen, Lou Jitsu is free and kicks his distracted butt all the way through Sunday, because Draxum was too preoccupied searching for his snapper.
Raph returns to the room with his brothers in his arms, and escapes with Lou Jitsu from the about-to-explode lab, not before having the human getting bit by his pet rat, with some mutagen falling over him, same as canon <3
Draxum is dragged away by the Goyles. He decides to throw his careful planning through the metaphorical window in favor of searching for “Subject One”, once recovered then he can focus on his plan for human genocide. What happens after this is up in the air at this point of the story~ END OF SUMMARY.
As always, thank you for reading and suffering along with me <3 a bit angstier than I wanted to be for the holiday season, but alas, that’s what ended up happening.
Happy new year! I hope your 2023 is full of great fics and fandoms (and IRL stuff too, lmao)
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 13: Fragmented
Notes:
I’d highly suggest you listen to “The Crane Wives — the Moon Will Sing” and “Three Days Grace — I am the Weapon” at least once before, during, or after reading this chapter.
This is the only “songfic” chapter I’m writing, pinky promise! And you can skip the italics if you wanna ignore the songs, the chapter makes sense without them <3 Enjoy the read~
Also, FANART! FROM CHAPTER 3! Look at Mikey being best bro when Raph needed it the most so sweet!!! >w< I love their expressions!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Fragmented
(4.5K words)
Tell me once again
I could have been anyone, anyone else,
Before you made the choice for me
Raph had thought growing up in a barren cell was normal. He had thought that everyone grew up with the instinct to kill, to fight, to hurt others, to be the perfect soldier. Raph had thought he was the weird one for not wanting to do it, for being too stupid to think of a battle strategy for himself, for feeling bad for the poor creatures that cried and wailed and squirmed under his palms. That bled under his fists and in his mouth when he trapped them between his teeth…
My feet knew the path
We walked in the dark, in the dark
I never gave a single thought to where it might lead
Raph had been convinced that he was the problem, that he was broken, that it was his fault, that whatever was wrong with him was the reason Draxum was so harsh, that if Raph improved then the yokai would be kind, because the man had proved he was capable of it. That kindness was just... scattered. Crumbs of what Raph would have, if only he could step up and meet expectations...
Raph had wanted to make him proud, he had been convinced that he could make the yokai love him as much as Raph had loved the man, if only he could find a way to be a better soldier… find a way to be able to do what Draxum wanted him to do.
He had been genuinely relieved when Savage first came, when he started to take the lead on the fighting exercises. Raph had thought Savage was what he should have been from the start, if he weren’t such a defective failure.
The moon will sing a song for me
I loved you like the sun
Bore the shadows that you made
With no light of my own
Raph had been willing to sacrifice everything that made him be him. He had been willing to let Savage drive more often, if that was what made Draxum happy, if that was what it took to stop the tears, to make the pain stop, to make the blood stop, to make everything stop.
Raph knew better now, though.
And now he was so, so angry. Raph hated Savage, and Draxum, and everything that was born in that barren place; because if Raph hadn’t been trained by Draxum to be a soldier, then Savage wouldn’t exist, and he wouldn’t have lost control, and he wouldn’t have hurt his pops!
His pops probably hated him now, he would kick Raph out, he wouldn’t let Raph see or play or take care of his brothers again. He would be alone, alone, forever alone, and he didn’t want to be alone, he never wanted to be alone, not again, never again, he didn’t want to go back to his cell!
He didn’t love Draxum anymore, he hated the yokai, he was terrified of him. Raph loved his brothers, he loved his pops, he loved his new family, he hadn’t meant to hurt his papa, he didn’t want to be mean, he didn’t want to be a monster, he didn’t want to!
Why couldn’t he escape the memories, even after escaping the lab itself? Why couldn’t he just get rid of Draxum and the exercises and the hurt and the blood? He didn’t need Savage anymore! He was fine now! His pops was kind and silly and understanding! His brothers were little gremlins that drove him mad sometimes but that Raph would do anything to protect.
My heart knew the weight
Ten years worth of dust, and neglect
We made our peace with weariness, and let it be
Raph was broken, he had always been, but his brothers were not, and he would do anything and everything to keep them happy and carefree.
They didn’t have the memories he had, they never would have to go through what he had gone through, which was exactly what Raph had wanted for them; because a single glimpse at them was enough for Raph to understand they were just like him.
And when Draxum called them “soldiers” instead of babies, he had known exactly what awaited in their future.
The fighting exercises, the blood, the pain, the hurt, the barren cells and one-time daily meals. The solitude. The feeling of not being enough, never enough… wondering why, why? In the middle of the night, but never receiving a response from the darkness.
His brothers were the reason Raph had decided to leave behind everything he had ever known.
I shine only with the light you gave me
I shine only with the light you gave me
His brothers were his new purpose, the reason Raph had been born at all; because Raph was not going to be a soldier, he wasn't going back to the lab, and thus needed another way to justify his existence.
His brothers were that reason, he was sure! Raph was here, in this world, for them. Raph was here to be their big brother, to protect them and care for them and play with them and feed them and bathe them and cuddle together.
He was here to care and nurture, not to hurt and destroy.
They were the reason Raph was not alone anymore. They were the reason he had braved through his fears and talked with the human warrior that day, once Draxum had left the room.
“Ow kiddo, these marks… what happened to you?” Lou Jitsu had asked once Raph stepped closer to his cage, human fingers hovering over the longer set of scars of his arm.
For two months Raph had been ordered to stay by Draxum's side, so he had seen the recordings of Battle Nexus along with the yokai, who liked to watch them in his crystal ball from time to time.
Raph had seen the human warrior fight and win. He had seen the exhaustion and reluctance grow more and more in his expression with every passing encounter. Raph had seen Lou jitsu, the one and only, the famous warrior Draxum had so admired, and felt a bit better about his own reluctance to fight and kill his opponents. He had felt a bit less alone, a bit less like a failure.
“Fight to live," Raph had answered softly after a long pause of silence, heart beating in his throat with fear and nervousness as he tried not to cry. Crying wouldn't solve anything, it never did. “Like you.”
Lou Jitsu had stared at him with sad, pitying eyes, expression twisting with something Raph couldn't name as the man's fingertips gently traced the marks.
"You're just a kid," the human warrior had looked like he was in the verge of crying too, which was weird, Draxum had said crying was a bad thing, he had said crying was not something the strong did.
Lou Jitsu was the strongest human warrior alive, and yet, he still shed a few tears for Raph, sobbing silently before his heartbroken expression was overcome with indignant fury.
“Not anymore,” the fighter had hissed murderously as he broke off the bars of his containment cell. “You are coming with me.”
It had been an order, a certainty, with the underlying of a threat that was, for once, not directed at Raph. He had stared at the human warrior and felt a strong ache of wanting.
He had wanted to believe the words, wanted for that to be real. He didn’t know what had made Draxum drop the exercises, or give him more food, or read to him and explain stuff to him everyday. Raph didn’t understand why Draxum would suddenly pat the top of his head or squeeze his cheeks or pull his head closer to his hip, didn’t get why they were sharing space to sleep at night, or why the yokai would brush Raph’s spiky shell, but even if the gestures were nice they evoked nothing but a horrible mix of warmth and fear in Raph.
He was afraid. Afraid that everything would crumble when he least expected it, that he would say or do the wrong thing one day — Raph had quickly learnt that flinching at his touch was no good, the man's expression twisted into an ugly something whenever Raph did, so he had learnt to be hyperaware of the yokai's gestures so Raph could see them come, so he wouldn't be surprised and wouldn't flinch — because the moment he made a mistake, the moment he slipped, then Draxum would remember that Raph was broken, and then Draxum would be disappointed and dump Raph back in his cell, and he would have to continue fighting and killing.
Raph had wanted to leave.
Raph had wanted to save the baby turtles, to keep them from going through everything he had gone through. In the end that’s what had made Raph nod at Lou Jitsu, with a firm: "other baby turtles," and leave the room to go fetch them.
The babies he had gathered in his arms — small, so small to fit in his arms. The youngest was so small he could fit in Raph’s hand — were the reason he had managed to ignore Draxum’s unconscious form, no matter how much his heart ached to go back to drag him to safety, in favor of escaping from the lab that was falling apart all around them.
His brothers were the reason he was free and better and safe now.
Raph just… he just wished he could be more like them. That he could throw the food he didn’t want like Donnie, that he could cry at the top of his lungs when he was sad like Mikey, that he could play rough without fear of hurting someone like Leo.
Raph wanted to be normal like them.
Raph wanted to not be broken anymore.
Youth is broken
Half of it was stolen
By a world I can't unsee
But Raph was broken at his core. He couldn’t waste food, who knew when he would be able to eat again? He couldn’t cry too loudly, Draxum hated the sound, it made everything so much worse than it already was, he needed to be silent, to keep quiet. No cries, no complaints, just do as told.
Do as told, Subject One.
Raph growled angrily at the voice that echoed in his head, launching himself towards the pillow nearby. His hands grabbed and ripped at it in a mess of cotton and fabric, even as his teeth snapped close around a corner to tear at that as well.
Youth is broken
Half of it was stolen
Look what you've done to me
It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, everything was because of him, it was Draxum’s fault, Raph wasn’t a soldier, he wasn’t a warrior, he wasn’t a killer, he wasn’t a monster!
He didn’t want to be a monster.
But Savage was one.
He hated Savage, he hated him, he hated everything associated with him, that wasn’t him, it wasn't Raph!
Your concept of love
And your hunger for war
Tell me which one should I die for
Raph hated the stuff that was happening outside. He hated the way Draxum kept screaming for him in a mix of order and plea. Raph wasn’t Subject One anymore! He had already escaped, the whole place blew up, the yokai needed to start all over, so why couldn’t he just leave Raph be? Why was he wasting time, trying to get him to go back?
Why did pops have to keep going out to get them food and supplies? How did Draxum manage to find the rat mutant every time he ventured out? His pops had to fend off Draxum, take long detours to keep the yokai away from their hideout, even when he couldn’t see very well, and the tail got in the way, and the claws scratched at his own fur just as often as he did his opponent…
And in the instances when he was followed back home pops would scream their one-word code, alert Raph of Draxum's proximity, and then Raph would gather his brothers in his arms and run and hide in the place his papa had shown him, churring and doing his best to keep his tots calm and silent until it passed, until everything was over.
At some point his pops would come back, bruised but okay, and they all would have to move and find another hideout, which meant they would have to abandon the stuff pops had gathered. The rat mutant would have to go out even more once they settled again, start to build up a new safeplace in an endless cycle, and why?
Why? Why couldn’t Raph just… just stay with his family hidden and safe and sound? Away from Draxum, away from the screams of the humans as purple vines destroyed the street, away from the danger and the hurt and the—
“Red?”
Raph growled in warning. Don’t come near me, I’ll hurt you, Savage will hurt you, I can’t control it, I’m so sorry.
His pops stepped slowly into the room, empty palms raised and hovering in front of him. He was close, but not close enough to be in striking distance, and Raph hated that he noted that fact. He hated how his mind found ways to link everyone’s action as vulnerable or threatening, how his head insisted on thinking of every interaction as a potential fight.
“It’s ok to be angry Red, it’s ok to let it out.”
Raph sniffed, crying a torrent of silent tears and biting harder into the material. It wasn’t ok, Raph was broken, his mind was fragmented, and Savage— Savage was a monster.
“I’m not afraid of you Red,” his pops said with firm certainty, as if he could hear his line of thought. “You are the kindest little kiddo I know…”
Raph sobbed, letting the stuffed cotton fall from his jaws, releasing the squishy fabric so he could hug himself and curl into a tiny, tiny, ball. As tiny as he could get…because how? How could he be anything but a monster? After hurting his pops the way he had? If the rat mutant hadn’t reacted as fast as he did then Savage would have busted his knee, and then… then Savage would have…
“I’m not afraid, and I’m not mad at you. You were just scared Red, it’s ok to be scared.”
“P-papa…” Do you still want to be my papa? Even after that?
The rat mutant opened his arms welcomingly. “Wanna hug, buddy?”
Raph closed his eyes strongly and nodded, but didn’t move a muscle, he couldn’t. In the end his pops was the one to close the distance, sitting at his side to pull him closer, to hold him tightly.
“It’s ok Red, I’m here. I will always be here to protect you and the little tots, alright?”
Raph sniffed and nodded, rubbing his face against his dad’s chest. Warm, fluffy, safe.*
“You don’t have to fight, not anymore.”
Raph nodded, desperately rubbing his face against the fur. He didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want to hurt, he didn’t want to kill, he didn’t want to be Savage, not again, never again.
“It’s ok Red, it’s ok… I’m the big one, so I will protect you and your brothers, alright?”
Pops was the big one, so he protected Raph...
“Y-yeah…”
And Raph was the big brother, the one that was biggest, so he protected the tots. Because the big ones protected.
“Good, good…" his pops whispered, carefully using the back of his hand to clumsily clean Raph's tears. Last time the warrior had tried to cup his cheek and wipe them away with his thumb, but the long claws had scratched Raph's face right below the eye. "Are you better now, Red?”
He let out a shaky whimper. “Uhm, yes…”
“Ok. We are running out of food so I need to go out, I will be away for a few days. You need to be a good, big boy, and feed and take care of the babies until I come back, ok?”
Raph sniffed and nodded heartily. He could do that, he could do it, he was their big bro, the one that was biggest, and he was good. He was good, so pops didn't need to kick him out. Raph was good, Raph wasn’t Savage, Raph wasn’t Subject One, so he was good.
“I left the things where you can reach them, just remember to be extra careful when smashing Orange’s food, that one needs to be more liquid. Add more water.”
“Raph’s got it,” because he was Raph, not Savage and not Subject One. He would always, always be Raph.
“Good boy. Come on, you know we cannot leave the tots alone for too long.”
(x)
Draxum had been trapped a few days after that conversation. According to his pops, Draxum had been causing too much of a ruckus in human land, and the head council — the ones that ruled over the yokai race — had sent their own troops to catch and imprison Draxum for his crimes before he could do more damage, in an effort to prevent a war from breaking out between the yokai and the humans.
Draxum had been imprisoned in an anti-mystic cell***, the area of the Yokai prison that had the most security, and Raph had finally felt safe. He had finally felt more at peace, knowing he wouldn’t have to face the alchemist ever, ever again.
I was the target
I was the mission
You have the power
The ammunition
“Subject One, you have grown magnificently.”
Or so he had thought, so he had thought, but the Foot Clan had apparently broken him out of his prison cell, and gifted the mystic armor Raph’s family had been trying to keep apart without much success, effectively making an already dangerous yokai even stronger.
“Who are you calling Subject One?” Mikey questioned somewhere at his side. Not like Raph could focus on his little brother, he couldn’t do anything but silently hyperventilate, chest heaving as he stood frozen in dread and fear, fists clenched over his tonfas hard enough to break them, if they had been common weapons instead of mystical ones, that is.
“Come closer, let me see you properly.”
Raph made a sound similar to that of a strangled cat, arms shivering as he took a step back. He was five again, he was five and small and defenseless and no please, no please, don’t take me back there, don’t make me fight, don’t hurt me.
“Raph?” Mikey sounded scared.
Mikey was scared, his baby brother was in danger, and Raph was the big brother, the one that was biggest, and he needed to move, to protect! But he was so, so afraid. His body was locked up, muscles tense and unresponsive, Raph didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to move, didn’t want to do this.
Raph didn’t want to be here.
It’s ok, let Savage handle it. Mind Raph whispered reassuringly, pulling a too-small Raph into a comfy hug**. One that engulfed him completely, one that could protect him from everything. He’ll keep Mikey safe, don’t worry.
The fight that ensued wasn’t one Raph could recall.
‘Cause I am a product
Of how I was brought up
The cycle spins out of control
Or at least, not anything out of short flashes of scattered scenes. He could mildly remember the purple vines. The shine of metal. The familiar pain of scratches and stabbing, a sensation already linked to Draxum’s existence, and thus irrelevant for the bigger picture.
The echo of a voice saying: “Do not worry Subject One, this will not kill you.”
Pain, dripping blood, and Mikey's terrified expression.
He had pinned down Mikey at some point, covering him protectively with his own body to let his shell take the hit. He remembered it because at that time Mikey had called for him, begging him to snap out of it, because—
"Raph, come back, you're gonna die, you need to use your ninpo to protect yourself, please, please, please!"
Because his baby brother was crying and punching against his plastron.
Because Raph was bleeding over him.
Something had stabbed his shoulder — a frontal attack, considering his shell was not pierced — so his left arm was more dead weight than anything useful at the moment, and the only reason he wasn’t crushing the box turtle under his weight was due to the right arm. His forehead was dripping as well, he could feel a deep gash a little above the eye. Way, way too close to the eye…
“YOU MONSTER!”
“Pops…?” Raph panted a whisper, falling on one side to cradle Mikey close to him with his functional arm once the weight of the attack was removed from his shell. Raph hurried to stand up, forced his shaky legs to jump away from the sound of battle, away from the sound of metal clashing against metal, the sound of the ground being ripped apart as new purple roots extended across the area.
“Don’t touch my sons!” Splinter’s voice was absolutely livid as he stood in front of them, fending off the vines coming after him and his baby brother. “Don’t touch my family!”
“I hit the panic button,” Mikey said against his chest, shivering against his torso. It was probably a great effort for him to remain out instead of hiding inside his shell as he usually did when terrified. “D-did you know they reply back? I heard— heard Donnie’s voice say: Thank you for pressing the panic button, your panic is important to us.”
Mikey let out a whisper of a laugh, giving him a shaky smile even as his eyes teared up and he sniffed. “Who… who does that…?”
“Donnie does that,” Raph panted just as softly, letting Mikey down not because he wanted to, but because his arm was trembling too much under the effort. The injury in his left shoulder pulsated with hurt, he couldn’t move very well, so Raph had little else to do but look at the battle unfolding in front of him while trying to control the tremors, trying to control his breathing, to control the rising fumes of boiling panic and dread.
Donnie wasn’t talking, he just had his Murdertello expression on full force, and judging by the coordinated-incoordination of the attacks of the twins, he wasn’t the only one trying to deliver a lethal hit to the yokai in armor.
“Red, get out of here,” Splinter said once the battle gave him a window of opportunity to step closer to them, one clawed hand pulling at Mikey's arm to help him stand up, “we will cover—”
“Oh, do the children wish to play?” Draxum’s voice echoed as he evaded Leo’s attempt of cutting the yokai in half with a well-aimed portal chop, purple vines smacking the twins away with horrifying ease.
The voice made Raph’s tremors come back in full force. He couldn’t move, but he needed to move, but he couldn’t fight against Draxum, he was terrified of him, but he had to, his family was in danger and he had to.
Raph doesn’t want to be here, Raph doesn’t want to do this, he chanted in his head, trembling and crying and trying to stop shaking in fear, right hand pressing at the wound on his shoulder to stop the bleeding, stop, stop, stop, just make it all stop!
Raph doesn’t need to be here. Mind Raph reassured, trying to hug him back into the confines of his mind. Back into the comfy safety, back into the protective hold.
Savage will get us killed. Raph denied, digging his feet in so he wouldn't be dragged away.
Savage understands that. Don’t worry, let the other one take charge. Mind Raph reassured, and Raph had no idea who he was talking about—
“Come here, Subject One. It is not too late yet.”
— but as the voice addressed him directly the pure, raw fear overcame his mind, and he closed his eyes and dashed to hug-tackle Mind Raph, hiding in the embrace** and letting whoever wanted to drive the wheel lead the body’s actions.
Now I'm the message
This is a lesson
Here in the present
I am the weapon
Pure, blissed blankness was the only thing that remained in his memories of the event. He had no idea of what happened when Raph was not Raph, but by the time Mind Raph kindly nudged him forward to be at the front again…
“APRIL O’NEIL!” April screeched, accompanied with the sound of her bat colliding with a hard object.
What… what happened?
“What’s going on?” Draxum’s weak voice was barely audible, as a pulsating mass of something squeezed the yokai like a deformed, monstrous beating heart. “I feel weak… my… power… be drained…”
They had defeated Draxum?
“Raph, eyes on me big bro,” Leo said in his medic voice, as a smaller hand grabbed his jaw and firmly moved his head so he was facing the slider. “Focus on me. I’m just gonna check your shoulder, to make sure it’s ok, ok? We need to make sure the bone is where it should be before the wound closes up so it doesn't heal wrong, alright?”
“Leo?” Raph asked stupidly as his mind tried to come back to the present.
“Yap, that’s my name, don’t waste it,” Leo sassed absentmindedly, “Donnie, I need some light here—”
“No, no, wait!” Raph hurriedly got up as he recalled the situation they had been in, pushing Leo off with one arm and trapping a hissing Donnie with the other one, “how are you guys? Was anyone injured—”
Leo had some gashes, which were rapidly closing off, same as Donnie. Ok, his Disaster Twins were ok, and Mikey— Mikey had dried blood on his face and plastron but that was mostly Raph’s, his baby brother was still standing and ok, he looked ok, April was standing weirdly, her ankle was swelling, he needed to go check on his sister—
“Raphael, sit down and let your injuries be treated,” Splinter hissed at him, tail wrapping around his ankles and pulling until Raph fell on his butt, even as his pops’ gaze never deviated away from the heart-like thing trapping Draxum. “I don’t know how— I cannot believe you managed to move like that with a pierced shoulder, but stop straining your injury!”
Move? Move how? What was he talking about, what had he done?
“Raph, lay down or I’ll have Donnie’s metallic arms trap you,” Leo warned with a glare, so Raph lifted a palm in defeat and let the twins check at his shoulder, mind still inwardly reeling. What did he miss? Who had gotten out, if not Savage? He hadn’t even known there was another– OUCH!
Raph growled and snarled at his lap as Leo pushed his, apparently dislocated, shoulder back into position, tail slamming harshly against the soil.
“Ok, it’s coming on well, just don’t move it anymore,” Leo sighed at last, patting Raph’s good shoulder a couple of times in a comforting gesture, before swatting him at the back of the head with a reprimanding, “why the fuck did you not use your tonfas from the start!? Mystic weapons exist to protect you from these things!”
Raph deflated at the worried tone, frowning at his lap. “Uh, um…”
“Sons. Sons, we need to leave!” Splinter yelled right as the… thing… that had wrapped around Draxum spit him out like trash, and the yokai slid across the dirt, eyes closed and body lax, looking remarkably thinner, weaker, fully spent. Was he dead or just unconscious? Did the answer really matter anything to Raph?
“We need to LEAVE!” his pops repeated, pushing Mikey back and behind him. Purple lightning was traveling over the scattered pieces of the discarded metal armor as it pieced itself back together, this time without needing a host.
“The Shredder lives!” a foot clan soldier exclaimed right before the newly-formed clawed hand grabbed them by the calf and slammed them hard against the dirt. The possessed armor sent the whole Foot Clan, his own allies, flying away with a single, terrifying arm movement.
The demon was lashing out at anything and everything that moved or breathed in its general vicinity, causing one woosh of air after the other. Strong, much too strong, way above their level—
And it was now dashing towards Raph’s family.
No one had been able to move out of the way, there was simply no time to react to it. Shredder was too fast, too strong, and they all were lucky that the demon vanished out of existence right before an arm could go straight through Leo, April, and Splinter.
And thus, Draxum’s existence was pushed to the back of Raph’s mind, as a new enemy, a new nightmare, took priority.
Heck, for the months that followed Raph hadn’t even thought of Draxum, not since Big Mama “sealed” — lies, lies! — the animalistic Shredder away, and his pops told Raph that he had dropped what remained of the yokai back at prison, where he belonged.
Raph had nodded at the news, filed the information away in his head as a semblance of peace returned. He had been unperturbed by Draxum’s ghost ever since…
…at least, until the taller version of Splinter started to remind him of things he would rather forget.
Notes:
FANART
See this beautiful animatic of Raph's past <3 QuQI'm on tears!! It's so perfect!! I really like this song for Raph’s past and the codependency he developed with his family~ having your brothers be “the reason you exist” is not exactly healthy Raph, you need to become your own person :’) he’s been learning this as he grew up so it’s currently not as bad as when he was first rescued, and will continue to improve as the story moves on~
AN
Ah, if I had shown the not-yet-named alter fight against Draxum, I'd have used "Shinedown - My Name" As a personality tho, he's more a "Ashes Remain - End Of Me" <3 and Savage's is totally "Three Days Grace-Animal I Have Become" kskks.Splinter heard those 5 words of toddler!Raph and immediately understood the kid had gone through either Splinter's childhood "Hamato training" trauma or "imprisoned by Big Mama and made to fight" trauma, or both, and thus went from 0 to 100 in his decision to kick Draxum's behind and get the kid out of there asap. In a sense, both Splinter and Raph have been hurt in a horrible way by someone they once loved dearly...
***The police have these little balls for anti-mystic bs, as shown in Hidden City's Most Wanted when it undoes the Cloaking Brooch disguising Draxum as a teddy bear. Their existence is glossed over but THERE, so I’m writing it!
**This is how I imagine Raph looks like everytime he hides with Mind Raph
*I hc this is the reason Raph likes plushies so much. His dad is a rat, things warm and fluffy = safe, and he needed something to latch on to when that comforting presence started to withdraw (depressed ratdad + 3 little brothers that require more attention = not a lot of hugs/comfort for traumatized Raph QuQ)
A bit of parallels to Rafa's POV when he first heard Savage growl~ and why Raph is so understanding of the need to protect, but the fear paralyzing the protector… the guilt if anything bad were to happen… ouph QuQ
For those curious, you can check this Tumblr post to see what happened in the inbetween of Raph’s toddler years and his encounter with Draxum, at least in the head of this silly author~
Also, for better visual, Raph's five when he escaped and by that time he was already tall, around Draxum's hip height. So I imagine he and his brothers look like this beautiful fanart that reeks of Eldest Daughter Syndrome~ I can picture Raph at 10, the twins at 6 and Mikey at 5 here. I imagine him physically bigger than he is in canon and you're very much encouraged to do the same kskkss F!Leo was huge too, these boys never stop growing xD Accelerated growth + 20 y.o.? Very big baby.
Anyway, sorry for such a number of angsty chapters. Let’s go back to our 12!universe fluff with angst, shall we? Our 12!Splinter-Raph convo is awaiting! ;)
See ya’ around~ dEBB987.
Chapter 14: Ghosts of Memories
Notes:
Look at this Beautiful FANART WITH SNIPPETS AHHH I just love their expressions so much, look at them! The Raphs bonding scene it's my absolute fav, and the baby Raph at the corner just breaks my heart QuQ it's so well done!
I also received this wonderful fanart that FITS THIS CHAPTER SO WELL just look at the ghosts of Rise!brothers... dear artist, the timing was suspiciously good for the release of this chapter. Do you have access to my Drive files? Be honest. If you surrender now, there shan't be any consequences *innocent smile*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ghosts of Memories
(10K words)
Raph wanted to cry.
He was trying, he really was trying to keep up smiling throughout the photos, to answer whenever someone talked to him as they ate, to look interested as Leo patted the seat beside him to watch Space Heroes together. Raph tried to pay attention to the show, trying his hardest to stop the ghosts… the memories of his brothers that kept overlapping with these teens.
They were their own person, Raph was just drawing comparisons in his head, noting similarities and differences and it hurt so much — Raph would give anything to see his brothers again. He missed his family, he wanted to grab them for a turtle pile so, so badly — and it wasn’t fair for these teens, it wasn’t their fault, they were only being themselves…
“Now, most of the fandom says that this TV show has the less accurate version of the captain, but if you compare this chapter with the 12th volume of the comics—”
“ — obviously Jupiter Jim is not a jerk but a hero! The circumstances in that specific movie were just too difficult to overcome without becoming a bit lawfully gray, so everyone but me is wrooong. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!” the memory of Leon overlapped in the middle of Leo’s rant.
Raph let out a shaky laugh as he hugged this, confused but accepting, version of Leo close to his chest to nuzzle the top of his head.
“Uh, that means you agree, right?”
“Yeah, of course…”
“You’re just playing along, aren’t you?” Leo scoffed softly, “wow, so this is what Mikey feels like… having an older brother sure is weird.”
Raph wasn’t sure he was meant to hear that last part but he did, so he pulled Leo even closer and rested his chin on the top of his head with a short, pleased churr, the tip of his tail wagging slightly.
“Err, love you too? But I can’t watch the show like this, soooo move a bit— wait, no, no, no, don’t crush me— ougk! Raph! RAPH HELP!”
Rafa stopped pressing buttons on the arcade game to throw them a quick glance, but ultimately shrugged. “Eh, you’ll live.”
“Traitor! You horrible brother—”
“— I should have shipped you to Las Vegas when I had the chance!” Leon’s voice overlapped as the memory of his brother pointed an accusing finger at Dee. Ah, the Cain instinct of the disaster twins, always a dramatic hassle. The number of times he had found one of them stuck in the trashcan when they were little, as if they really thought that would make Raph take out the trapped tot along with the rest of the trash. Pfft, his silly little brothers...
“April, help!”
“Spiky Raph?” April approached, not lifting a finger to rescue a crushed-against-the-sofa Leo, looking down at them with a half entertained, half worried smile. She had been giving him mildly concerned glances every so often the whole day.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, so I don’t mean to make assumptions or anything, but if you’re not feeling well you can… step away for a bit. You know that, right?”
“You don’t have to keep up the ‘strong big brother’ act with me. You know that, right Raph?” his sister had whispered with a pleading look one night, one hand squeezing his forearm, and Raph had broken down and sobbed against her shoulder as the weight of everything became too much to handle.
Raph gave a small, miserable chirp.
Leo groaned and resigned to his fate, no longer trying to escape as he stared at the ceiling. "So this is my life now; reduced to being a pillow."
April chuckled at that, even as her gaze continued to look right through him.
“You know that, right?” she repeated softly when he didn't answer.
She was a nice kid. But this April was not his sister, she was just a teen, and it would be unfair to onload the weight on her, no matter how much Raph needed a listening ear at the moment.
“I’m fine, April. Thanks…”
She sighed. “I gotta go, but you really should rest—”
“Spiky Raph, hey!” Mikey winked at April and patted her arm, in an obvious ‘leave it to me’ sort of way. Raph was the eldest, he would recognize the tactic anywhere. “I want to try out a new painting technique, can I practice on your shell?”
The youngest had a bucket filled with paint bottles already swinging in his arm; certain Raph would agree to it.
“Which color do you want, Raph— ohh, I like orange, we can match!” the memory of a younger Mikey resonated in his head, one of a little child that had wanted to cover the multitude of scars that ran across his skin; to give Raph “cute marks” like the ones all three of them had.
Raph remembered to have wished for the paint to make the scars of his mind disappear too.
He gave a shaky smile and nodded in silence, hurriedly freeing Leo — air, sweet, sweet air! — so he could lay down on his plastron on the floor, arms crossed under his chin so he could partially hide his nostalgic, miserable expression in the space between.
He wanted to hug his baby brother so badly— no, not a baby anymore. His big man, already grown up, already a teen. In the blink of an eye the box turtle that used to fit in his palm was no longer so small…
Letting this version of Mikey paint over his shell would have given him a short reprieve if the youngest didn’t insist on getting Raph to talk during the process, but the smaller turtle was adamant to draw the things Raph requested to the best of his ability. Do you want a sun, flowers, rainbows? I can draw your teddy bears too, if you like!
It was… a nice gesture, Mikey was really trying to cheer him up. Probably would have worked too, if only the timing were better.
Raph decided he would dash to his room as soon as the drawings were complete. The pool wasn’t an option anymore, not with fresh paint on his shell, he needed to give it more time to dry up so he didn’t mess up Mikey’s efforts.
“Aaaand done! Look, look, do you like it?” Mikey took photos with his Tphone and excitedly shoved the screen at Raph’s face as soon as he sat up.
“Thanks Mikey,” Raph forced himself to speak with a small smile. “I love it. Let me go to my room so it can dry without—”
“Wait, wait!” Donnie called and shit, no, please. He needed to rest!
“Donnie, I’m not—”
“Just a moment, honest!” Donnie hurriedly added, looking… somewhat embarrassed. Dang it, was this important…?
Raph took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling slowly. Breathing, just keep breathing, calm down, it’s fine…
“I hear ya’, Don.”
“Ok, so… uh,” Donnie cleared his throat and straightened up, looking at the air beside Raph’s head. “Ok, I just wanted to clarify that I’m— I’m not a baby, so don’t do that again—”
“ — I’m already sixteen Raph, I don’t need you to mandate bedtime. So take your incessant churring and step out of my lab, please and thank you,” a memory of his Dee finished, making an embarrassed shooing motion in Raph’s direction without looking at him, as per usual.
His Dee… his brother repeated that same phrase and gesture every time they had an impromptu, somewhat cuddly depending on the day, sleepover.
Raph nodded with a tired but knowing smile, giving his standard: “Got it, I won’t do it again,” lie to this version of Donnie, right before giving a short, teasing churr, just to bother his brother—
Except this wasn’t his brother, not exactly, and instead of being annoyed this version of Donnie just lit up with the familiar spark of scientific curiosity. The smaller turtle stepped closer and asked him to bend down and repeat the sound, because he wanted to know if it came from the chest or the throat, and that was an inquiry his Dee, his younger brother had had too when they were little…
“Guys, sensei wants one last photo so come over!”
Rafa groaned from his place in the arcade games, as the music of Game Over played out. “What happened to only two photos per day!? And it’s been ‘the last photo’ at least three times already!”
“You know how sensei gets once we start,” Donnie answered absentmindedly, tapping at Raph’s plastron in the area he had indicated. “Oh, it even vibrates slightly. So the sound is part of your breathing as the air gets in and out of your lungs? That’s fascinating! Do you grow tired of it? Or is it as easy as breathing—”
“We’re taking a photo, Donnie!” Leo reminded him, physically pushing his brother in the direction of the dojo. “You can ask things later. Come on you too Spiky Raph, sensei is waiting for us.”
Shit, no, Splinter was the last person Raph wanted to interact with, not today, not right now. The memory of his little brothers hurt because Raph loved them and missed them, it was a nostalgic heartache, but the memory Splinter evoked was… it was…
“I’m already,” exhausted, “already in the previous photos…so…”
“Oh no, if I have to get through them then you do too,” Rafa huffed, linking his arm around his own and pulling him forward. “I don’t like them either, but the sooner we go the sooner it’s over with.”
That’s not the issue, Raph wanted to say, but he knew that would only make Rafa question his real reason and that wasn’t something he wanted to share, not now, not ever. They were just kids, they weren’t— they shouldn’t have to shoulder any of this…
Ok, deep breaths, Raph’s got this, Raph could do it—
“Sons, I am taking the photo now, and you better not be doing any weird faces this time. You are already fifteen. You need to start to—”
“ — behave in a manner befitting of your purpose.”
Stop, please, just make it stop, Raph begged internally as Draxum’s stern voice overlapped with the one of Splinter again, this time in a situation he couldn’t walk away from, not without a torrent of questions being fired his way, no without providing explanations he didn’t want to give.
He shivered and pulled Rafa closer to him, pressing the teen against his side in their sideway hug. His smaller counterpart cursed in surprise, waited for a second, and then turned up to frown at him. Eh?
“What, no ‘language’ this time?” Rafa asked with a quirked eyebrow. Ah, Raph hadn’t… he didn’t even notice...
“...um. Language,” Raph muttered softly, which made the teen narrow his eyes.
“What’s wrong—”
“Timer is on, so smile to the camera. No faces!” Splinter warned again as he moved into position behind the teens, right at Raph’s side. “Do not make me repeat myself. ”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Raph’s body froze up, tense beyond use. He didn’t know what kind of expression he was making, but it wasn’t a smile, it wasn’t what he had been ordered to do, he was going to be punished for it—
“Big guy, hey!” Shit, shit, he had poor Rafa in a chokehold now. He immediately let go of the teen—
“Are you feeling unwell?” Draxum— no, Splinter, asked, extending a clawed hand towards his shoulder—
Raph stepped back and out of reach, hurriedly turning away to leave. “Raph’s good, just tired, good night everyone.”
He really needed the alone time to calm down, to make the ghosts stop, because they all had pulled at him this way or that during the day but now it was— it was night. He could go to his room to sleep in blessed solitude—
“Dude, where are you going?” Mikey trotted after him and hugged his arm, and shit, it took every ounce of Raph’s effort to not jerk away from the touch, to not shove him away harshly. No, no, not the baby, Mikey was the baby brother, Raph couldn’t be careless… he would never hurt any of his little brothers—
Were they his little brothers?
He missed his little brothers so much…
“Spiky Raph?”
“Oh,” right, he needed to answer. “I was going to… my room?”
“Nah-uh, not tonight! We’re having a sleepover!” Mikey grinned brightly at him, giving small, excited jumps in place. “Master Splinter even agreed to join us, do you know how rare that is? Today is special!”
Oh. Oh, fuck, why— why today, why tonight? As much as Raph adored the turtle piles, as much as he loved to rest surrounded by the people he loved, he just— he just couldn’t stop thinking about his family, and Draxum, right now and it was too much, too much—
“...you ok?” Mikey asked when Raph remained silent for a second too long.
“Raph’s fine,” he reassured on autopilot, patting Mikey’s shell by pure reflex. “Raph just needs…”
Alone time. He needed a break, he needed to rest, to step away from the ghost of memories. He needed—
“Big guy—”
“RAFA!” He needed Rafa, the only person that didn’t evoke anyone’s ghost! “Rafa! Rafa, can we be neighbors!?”
If tonight he couldn’t have his alone time, his own space, then he could take refuge with the only person that didn’t evoke memories of anyone but those of a younger Raph, which was something he was ok with.
“...uh, yeah?” his smaller counterpart frowned worriedly at him. “It’s not a big deal, chill out. But that’s not what I was gonna say—”
“Awesome, yes, thank you,” Raph said rapidly, stepping away from Mikey to engulf Rafa in a thankful hug, “I’ll get my beanbag and stuff, I’ll be right back—”
“Hmphmft!” Rafa complained against his shoulder before tilting his chin up. “No, wait—”
“Raph, I need a hand over here!” Leo called for his brother as he tried to drag the sofa out of the way, so Raph let his smaller counterpart down.
Rafa looked between them and groaned in frustration.
“We’re not done here,” he warned with a pointed finger before stepping towards his brother.
Raph looked away without answering, dashing to his room as he feigned not to hear Mikey’s calling shout. Ok, destroying a couple of chew toys should help him get rid of the worst of restless energy, at least enough so he could sleep. He just— he just needed to sleep, to rest, and then the ghosts would leave and tomorrow would be better. Yes!
Uh… I think you should excuse yourself tonight. Mind Raph warned. The day was a bit hard—
No, no, I don’t want to ruin their special sleepover! Mikey was excited about it. Raph’s fine, Raph can do this. He defended in his head as he tore apart one of the plastic dog bones he had taken. He was fine, great, peachy!
CRUNK!
The fact that he needed to tear apart plastic with his teeth to be able to tolerate the idea of coming out of his room didn’t mean he couldn’t do it. Raph could definitely do it. He just needed to take out the pieces of the broken thing that were impaling the inside of his mouth, wait for the bleeding to stop, and get out. No fuss.
He took out the remnants of the chew toy, put them in his room’s corner to be disposed of later — they had a bit of blood on them, better do that when he could hide it from others. He could volunteer to take out the trash tomorrow — and turned around to exit the room.
Then halted, tail flipping uneasily as he turned around and marched inside again. Okay, maybe another toy…
Two, three, four; he went through five chew toys before deeming enough was enough, and that was mostly because he only had a few more remaining. He didn’t want to run out of options so soon, he should have grabbed more… he would grab more next time.
His mouth tasted of nothing but copper now. It was kind of sickening, he really missed the chew toy his Dee had made specially for him, designed so it wouldn’t break so easily, from a material that wouldn’t hurt him even if, one day, the toy ended up breaking under the pressure.
He ran his tongue around and took out the small pieces he had missed that were still making the roof of his mouth bleed, then he checked again. Okay, clear, he could do this.
By the time he returned they all were getting ready to sleep. Splinter was laying in the middle, having brought a futon to rest upon. Leo and Mikey were at their father’s sides, sorting out an amalgamation of pillows and blankets. Donnie was at the edge of the group beside Mikey, and Rafa at the opposite edge beside Leo.
Raph managed to nod at the group and give a subdued: “Good night,” before striding towards Rafa’s end and collapsing chest-first over the beanbag, head turned to face away from all of them.
“Big guy—”
“Tomorrow. Please,” Raph whispered back without turning to face the teen, fingers squeezing at the beanbag strongly enough for the fabric to be at the verge of tearing.
His counterpart sighed heavily, but mercifully let the topic drop. “No later than tomorrow.”
“Thanks Rafa.”
It’s ok, it’s ok, Raph told himself as he burrowed his face into the beanbag, hiding in the only way he could since getting inside his shell wasn’t an option.
It’s ok. Everything would be better by the time morning came.
(x)
(x)
(x)
“Here’s Donnie, reporting the news. Master Splinter escaped from the nighttime insanity at the first hours of dawn, as expected, understandably running away from Leo’s terrible snoring—”
“I don’t snore, you have no proof!”
“ — which I will record next time, as per his request, and Mikey’s horrible need to move in his sleep like a fish out of water that’s learning kung fu—"
"So I know kung fu now?"
"No Mikey. Anyways, in the end Mikey kept me and Leo up all night by taking turns at kicking and smacking our plastrons, shell, and face, like every ten minutes or so. Our brother is therefore sentenced to be the base of each future turtle pile for the foreseeable decade. Mikey, got anything in your defense?”
“Eh, I’m always the one crushed anyways.”
“Mikey is hereby guilty as charged, sentence issued. Then we have Raph—”
“Not a fucking word Donnie.”
“ — who has stopped being a teenage mutant ninja turtle, and has transformed overnight into a teddy bear. Say hi, Teddy Bear!”
“Don’t record me; I’ll make you eat your own bo staff!” Raph hissed quietly.
“Said the very violent Teddy Bear, but alas, that doesn’t seem to bother Spiky Raph in the slightest, who is the only one of us that has yet to wake up. The snapping turtle has forsaken the beanbag in favor of trapping Raph with one arm— ”
Chirp. Chirp.
“ — and keeps making sounds that resemble more a gruffy bird than a turtle, all while hiding his face against Raph’s shell, probably in an attempt to hide away from the artificial light of the lair and continue sleeping.”
“It’s not bird-like, that’s how turtles sound. Spike does the same thing.”
“The Teddy Bear also seems to be knowledgeable on the turtle ways. Utterly fascinating.”
“Fuck you, Donnie—” the flash of a camera made Raph silently snarl. “Leo, I swear I’ll kill you!”
“Worth it,” Leo snickered as he took another photo. “Wait until I show this to April, pfft—”
“You’re dead. They’ll never find your body.”
“I had a good life, hahaha!”
“Uh, guys? I think Spiky Raph is having a bad drea— EAK!”
“Mikey has discovered that approaching a sleeping Spiky Raph automatically turns any nearby turtle into a teddy bear. His sacrifice was needed for the sake of discovery, and shall be remembered and honored. We will miss you, Teddy Bear #2.”
“After I take a photo, pfftt.”
“After Leo pictures it for posterity.”
“Dude, my face,” Raph hissed, pushing at Mikey’s shell so he could rub at his nose.
“Sorry Raph— but guys, seriously, I think Spiky Raph is having a nightmare—”
Chiiiiiiirp. The sound was discrete but remarkably more high-pitched, a mix of a cry and a whine as the snapper curled on himself, bringing both trapped turtles closer to him while visibly shaking, tail slapping against the floor uneasily.
Donnie finally stopped recording. “Shoot, that looks bad—”
“Big guy? Hey, wake up, everything’s ok,” Raph wiggled so he could turn to face the snapper, even while still trapped in his hold. “Hey, hey, it’s cool, all’s good.”
Chirp. Chirp.
“Shit, he’s crying in his sleep— Leo, what do we do? I can’t protect him from a freaking nightmare—”
“Uh, ok, so we need to wake him up very gently…” Leo instructed, crouching down so he could kindly shake a shoulder.
“Aww, why are you crying? Stop crying, come on…” Mikey said softly, giving little pats at the snapper’s wrist. “Shhh, shhhh, it’s ok, it’s ok…”
“Hey, it’s fine big guy, everything’s fine…”
Donnie came back with a plushie on hand, pushing the soft item closer to the face of the sleeping turtle. “I brought him a teddy bear, maybe the texture—”
Set off like a bear trap, jaws opened and snapped close around the stuffed toy.
“ — shoot!” Donnie jerked his arm away, falling on his butt with a shaky exhale.
“Err, so a chew toy would have been better for that,” Leo whispered, checking on Donnie to see his hand — not bitten, thankfully — and pulling his brother up again. Donnie exhaled heavily in a mix of relief and concern, and left the room without another word.
At least having something in his mouth seemed to calm the big turtle. The tremors were dying down, and the frown wasn’t as marked as before. He was still breathing a bit agitatedly, but it was slowly starting to regulate.
The hold finally grew lax as the snapper relaxed again, so Mikey slowly crawled away. Raph stayed though, giving short pats at the plastron while softly murmuring: “You’re good, you’re good, it’s okay…”
“Maybe we can wake him up with the smell of food,” Mikey proposed, already walking towards the kitchen.
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best…” Leo agreed as he hovered nearby, reluctant to approach again.
"Ok, attempt two,” Donnie said as he walked back into the room. “Leo, take this."
"What— the broom?"
"Shell rubs are nice, but his shell is, uh, not smooth enough for that, so brushing may work better. Try it out, in the meantime I'll go download something on my Tphone."
"Get me mine too," Raph requested in a whisper. The snapper had curled more on himself — with the teddy bear still trapped in his mouth — and was now the little spoon, with their brother hugging his head to his chestplate."I don't mind staying, but it's kinda boring."
"Sure, just gimme a minute."
“Donnie wait, how am I supposed to brush—”
“Be careful, don’t press the broom too heavily on it,” Donnie instructed as he stepped into the lab. “Remember his shell is more sensitive than ours!”
(x)
(x)
(x)
Splinter sighed as he stared at the results of their photo session. Most of them had been good, he had already selected the ones he wanted Donatello to print for their family album, but the last one… he couldn’t help but stare at the last photo.
Stare at the snapper’s haunted expression, who looked terrified beyond life.
He sighed, turning off the camera without deleting the picture. He recalled the way the larger turtle had stepped away from him, essentially fleeing from the room. How he had kept silent after that, being physically present while hiding away from everyone at the same time.
Splinter had known speaking with the young adult was important, he had intended to do so soon, but this only cemented that it needed to happen today. That poor child obviously needed help, someone to speak with, and although the reaction of the day prior had hurt, Splinter could understand why Spiky Raph would be reluctant to confide in him. Reluctant to accept comfort from him.
After all, his counterpart didn’t sound… like a particularly good father, to put it kindly.
Anger boiled in his chest everytime he remembered that conversation. A five-year-old, a toddler, fully in charge of looking out for his baby brothers. All four of them left to their own devices for days on end, only for his counterpart to “need some alone time” upon his return? Like he hadn’t abandoned his tots, his sons, his babies, for long enough already? If Splinter ever met his counterpart he would—
He exhaled harshly. No, no, that wasn’t the point. What mattered was that the snapper obviously was stressed about something, he needed a shoulder to rely on, and Splinter would prove to the poor child that he was better than his counterpart, that even if his father was a failure, unreliable, he could always, always come to him and receive the support he needed.
With that settled, he put the camera away and grabbed his cane, finally stepping out of the dojo. He had tried to remain in the “sleepover” with his sons for as long as he could tolerate, but he had needed silence and a calm environment to meditate, and that was just impossible with Leonardo’s loud snores, Michelangelo’s overall restlessness, and Donatello muttering in his sleep.
He would apologize for not staying the whole night if they asked. Perhaps he should prepare breakfast to compensate and— huh.
This was not what he was expecting to see.
Michelangelo was in the kitchen making pepperoni pizza — not the healthiest breakfast option, but once he started he could not be deterred — Leonardo was carefully brushing the spiky shell of the snapper with a broom, and Raphael, out of all of his sons, was essentially… cuddling… with his still-sleeping counterpart, one arm wrapped around his head, the other extended to receive the phone Donatello was offering.
“Thanks Donnie.”
“No problem. Ok, so… don’t judge me; I did keep my word and deleted the copy of the media folder… uh… except for the audio files, because I thought it was just music, I wasn't expecting to find anything too personal in there—”
“Donnie!” Leonardo and Raphael scolded in a loud whisper, at the same time.
“I know, I know! But listen, I found a recording of Mikey— his Mikey, singing. So. Uh. Maybe it helps?"
He tapped at his phone’s screen, and the voice of someone that sounded similar to Michelangelo, but not quite, resounded in the room.
Hey, hey, it's okay
Everybody feels kinda weird some days
Hey, hey, it’s okay
Everybody feels kinda weird…
Spiky Raph whimpered and curled even closer to Raphael, giving a soft, bird-like chirp right before starting to hyperventilate around a— was that a stuffed toy?
“Nope, getting worse, shut it up!” Raphael hissed, abandoning his phone in favor of using both arms to hug the trembling snapper.
“What is happening?” Splinter spoke at last, silently stepping closer to the group.
“He’s having a nightmare,” Leonardo explained, sighing in relief at Splinter’s presence as he stopped brushing the shell. “We’ve been trying to calm him down but he’s still…crying…”
“...this is not a bad dream,” Splinter noted, because the tremors, the crying, the way he kept hiding in Raphael’s plastron and biting hard at the damaged teddy bear… hands curling into fists, then relaxing, then tensing up again at odd intervals…
“It’s obviously one! Just look at— ” Donatello started to say, but Splinter raised a palm to stop him.
No. No, this was… this was a memory, a night terror that resulted from experiencing a terrible event, not a common dream. Splinter could recognize it as one because he had them as well. After losing Tang Shen and his little baby daughter, his Miwa, to the fire that burned everything he had ever had, everything he had ever loved. After he was betrayed by someone he had considered a brother, someone he had loved and trusted, someone he would have died for… after Oroku Saki took the title of Shredder...
He had revived that night again and again in his mind, dreaming the memory and drowning in grief, guilt, and fury for so, so long. Thankfully he had still been human when that happened, and thus, had been able to get professional help to learn how to control them better. That was the reason he needed to meditate before going to sleep, having healthy bedtime rituals allowed him to calm body, mind, and soul, and thus the likelihood of suffering from PTSD nightmares decreased significantly.
Poor child, he must have been in a severe state of anxiety and stress when he fell asleep the prior night…
“Do not wake him up, it’s dangerous for him and for you. We must let it pass—”
“Let it pass!? Look at him, he’s miserable!” Raphael protested quietly, hugging the snapper’s head even more tightly as he glared up at him.
Splinter’s expression softened, even if his voice remained firm. “Raphael… I know having to watch a loved one experience a night terror is not easy. I understand you want to wake him up and save him from whatever it is that he is seeing, but this is not… a normal bad dream. You need to allow him to work through the episode. Waking him up now would be jarring, disorienting, he could reflexively lash out… and he would have the imagery at the front of his mind for a long time once awake, instead of putting it to rest.”
He knew it from his own experience. No, it was better to give it time, so the memory would settle again at the back of the mind where it belonged.
Raphael huffed and rested his chin at the top of the young adult’s head. “I’m still not going anywhere, you can’t make me.”
Splinter smiled and crouched down, putting a reassuring hand over his son’s shoulder. “You can keep him company, just don’t wake him up, and step away if he begins to have involuntary body movement. Otherwise he may accidentally hurt you.”
Raphael stared at him searchingly, exhaling away the remnants of tension once he was satisfied with Splinter’s sincerity. “Yeah, I’ll be careful.”
“Sensei, is there nothing we can do?” Leonardo asked again, looking between both Raphaels. Sad for the snapper’s apparent suffering, worried for his brother’s willing exposure to danger.
“I’m afraid we cannot. For how long has he been like this?”
“Um… a few minutes,” Donatello answered, checking something on his phone. “I guess I’ll… I’ll work on something in the lab while we wait…”
“I believe a training session would help him relax, once he wakes up,” Splinter commented, glancing at the two unoccupied turtles. “Help me clean the dojo, if you may?”
Leonardo and Donatello nodded, reluctantly stepping away. Splinter inwardly sighed and sat down on the sofa nearby, deciding to stay close just in case the episode escalated, so he could step in to protect Raphael if it resulted in an involuntary attack.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Raph felt small.
He was exhausted. He hadn’t been able to sleep very well, his mind kept going back to his family, then to Draxum, in a senseless sequence of scenes. Flashes of the lair followed by those of the lab, the arena of the exercises mixed up with Donnie’s garage, the stern voice of the Yokai interlaced with that of the taller Splinter, and the clawed hand patting the top of his head was affectionate and threatening at the same time.
He was small, small, so very small. He felt vulnerable, weak, just like a little kid…
He clenched his teeth harder over the soft material, gulping down air as he tried to get his mind to focus on something else. Warm, he was warm… so even if he felt small, he didn’t feel alone, not really.
It was like his family was with him.
Except his family wasn’t with him, that was impossible. Raph was lost in another world… he wanted to see them…
He huffed through his nose and tried not to sob. His big brother senses kept tingling and there was nothing he could do about it, because Raph couldn’t go see his little brothers, he couldn’t hug them close, but he was hugging someone close?
His arm curled around a smaller shell, yes, he was hugging someone close. He could feel a chestplate pressing against his forehead, one oddly flat. A baby tot? No, wasn’t the size too big to be a tot?
“Tot?” he tried to say as he blinked his eyes open, but found his mouth was dry and full of cotton. There was fabric trapped between pointy teeth, what— why was he—
“Big guy?”
“Uh,” the sound was muffled, so he slowly lifted the arm resting over Rafa and brought his hand to his face, so he could take the remnants of the… plushie… out of his mouth. “Ugh.”
“Are you awake now?”
His mouth was horribly dry, so he just hummed positively, still trying to blink away the remnants of sleep.
“You’re a zombie. Sensei, what do I do now? How do I help?”
“A glass of water may be welcome, a mouthful of cotton must not be pleasant.”
“Okay. Are you okay with me leaving, Big guy? I’ll be right back.”
Raph gulped air — ugh, his throat was too dry — and nodded a raspy “thanks Rafa,” slowly pushing himself up to sit up as well.
He scrubbed his face with his palms. Shit, what a terrible night, he felt even more tired than when he went to sleep yesterday, and that was saying something.
“Spiky Raph,” Splinter called softly. Raph feigned not to hear, turning away from the rat mutant in favor of chucking down the offered glass of water, and receiving a… slice of pizza from Mikey?
“For me?”
“Yap! How are you feeling, are you okay?”
“Yeah… but I should— we should eat together at the table. Right?” Why was Mikey bringing him a plate?
“Can you stand up?”
“Do you really want to walk?” Both questions were fired at the same time. Huh?
“Yes?” Raph tilted his head at the two teens, confused. “Why— what happened? Why… um, why are you…?”
“You had a night terror,” Splinter answered softly, a clawed hand descending to rest over his head.
Just like Draxum’s had used to.
Raph flinched and dropped the empty, disposable cup so he could slap the hand away, snarling a warning growl as he dragged himself backwards. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me—
Wait, did he just— shit, this was their Splinter, this wasn’t— he wasn’t…!
“S-sorry, I just… I’m just… uh. Um…” he trailed off stupidly, trying to not tear up as he looked down at his lap. What was he supposed to say now? How could he justify any of this? They had been kind enough to let him stay, welcomed him into their home and into their family, and Raph couldn’t do anything in return, he was just causing trouble—
“No, that was on me, I should have asked,” Splinter said kindly, gaze soft with understanding. Were all Splinters always so kind and understanding? Raph was lucky this version resembled his pops in that aspect.
“Come on Spiky Raph, let’s go eat together, yeah?” Mikey asked softly.
“Yeah. Yeah…” Raph nodded, accepting Rafa’s offered hand to pull him up. The smaller turtle couldn’t help much with that, but the gesture was nice. “Let’s go eat. Where’s— uh, where’s Don and Leo?”
“They are helping me clean the dojo. Once we have eaten, we can have a—”
“ — fighting exercise. Do not disappoint me this time, Subject One.
Raph trembled from head to toe. Shit, shit, shit! “I’m not— I’m, uh, I mean… I’m not sure I should… go. There. With you guys. Um.”
“You don’t have to,” Mikey reassured immediately, but Splinter just hummed, one hand stroking his beard.
“If you are afraid of accidentally hurting someone, I could volunteer as a sparring partner.”
Fuck no, no, no! “I really don’t— I can’t— I just—”
“Spiky Raph,” Splinter said more firmly, tapping the end of his cane once. Scolding, to an extent, Raph couldn't help but hunch his shoulders and lower his head, the closest thing to hiding he could afford to do. “Bottling things up will not help you at all, you need an outlet.”
“It’s not…” that. It’s not that! He knew he needed to speak with someone, but this wasn’t…
“Eat,” it was no longer a question, but an order. “Then you will meet me at the dojo. Is that right?”
Raph nodded by reflex, trying not to shiver.
He moved through the motions mechanically. Grab a slice, bite, munch, swallow. Answer when addressed, either with a head movement, a gesture, a hum, or one-word responses — yes, no, ok, cool, yeah, sure, right — even if he never took his gaze away from his plate.
He had eaten as slowly as he could without it being too suspicious. He had tried to postpone it for as long as he possibly could, but in the end his body still ended up stepping towards the dojo without conscious input, knowing that taking too long would just make it worse.
“ —obviously wrong. He’s terrified of something, he’s been trembling all morning and is not responding to shit anyone says or does. I don’t think—”
“Thank you Raphael,” Splinter interrupted firmly as soon as Raph mechanically slid the dojo’s door open. “I understand your concern, and will take it into consideration, but this should help resolve the worst of it, I’m sure.”
Rafa took a single glance at him, then turned back to the rat mutant with a defiant glare. “Sensei, you are not listening! Something’s wrong, he’s not—!”
“He can speak for himself, Raphael,” Splinter interrupted again, the hint of a warning leaking into his tone. “Spiky Raph, are you okay with this?”
“Are you ready for the next exercise?”
Oh no, oh no, no, no. That was a trick question, there was only one correct answer, anything else would result in pain, in hurt and hunger.
“Yes,” he answered automatically, because it was better to just get it over with, just let it be over, please, just let it end.
“That’s a FUCKING. LIE! Just look at him—!”
“Yame! Having an outlet is important Raphael!” Splinter snapped sternly. “He will feel better after the exercise— ”
“ — you will be a better soldier. Do not worry, failure is part of the learning path—”
Failure, failure, Raph was going to fail, fail, fail.
He couldn’t do this, he would mess up and then Splinter would kick Raph out, but without them— without Donnie, he wouldn’t— he would never go back home, and he would never see his family again, and Raph would be alone, alone, forever alone—
“AND I’M TELLING YOU THAT’S BULLSHIT!”
“RAPHAEL!” the towering figure raised the cane*, and whatever thin thread was keeping Raph at the front snapped.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Splinter knew, better than anyone, how important it was to be able to feel your opponent’s intent. To be able to read the displacement of air, their breathing, the small shift in their posture, the twitch of an arm, hand, leg, foot. The body betrayed what the next movement would be, more often than not.
Due to his many years of experience and his expertise in martial arts, he was able to immediately react to the sudden, unbidden burst of killing intent that flooded the room, switching the direction of his cane at the last second so he could block the punch that had been aiming at his face.
One that would have broken his neck.
“LEAVE TOT ALONE!” the snapper growled with a heavy snarl, putting more weight behind the blow and pushing until Splinter’s feet slid backward. “ME! FIGHT ME!”
“Get out of here, Raphael!” Splinter ordered as he hopped back, encouraging — Savage? This must be Savage. The inner eyelids had closed, but the blank stare still denoted murderous anger. What had triggered this? — the bigger turtle into stepping deeper into the room, away from the entrance, away from his sons.
But his temperamental teen was not moving. His son just stood there, heaving and not moving an inch as he stared at their altercation.
“Raphael!”
“ME! LOOK ME!” Savage demanded as he stepped between him and Raphael, so Splinter couldn’t see his son anymore, and a big, three-fingered hand grabbed the Fang Tian ji that was hanging with the other halberds in the wall and threw it in his direction.
Savage was a messy fighter. He threw everything that was within grabbing distance — except his own sais, ironically enough — pulled at the carpets with his feet to try to make Splinter trip, dashed forward — always forward. No pauses, no stepbacks, no hesitation — swinging his arms and kicking wildly, jaws snapping at thin air and tail flailing as he tried to get at him by whatever means necessary.
It was apparent that his fighting strategy consisted of overwhelming the opponent with a multitude of direct, frontal attacks, not giving the opposition any chance to think or counter, forcing them to just dodge, block, and redirect the blows until—
Crack! Another crater was added to the floor as the punch missed Splinter, and Savage growled and resumed the attack without an ounce of care for his bleeding knuckles.
“What the shell!?” that was Leonardo’s voice, and the multitude of approaching steps indicated he would not be alone for long.
Splinter dodged, unable to focus for too long on his sons. Savage was just waiting for a window of opportunity, knowing that so long as he could land a direct hit, if he could corner his opponent, make them trip, tired them out, made them pause for a second too long; then the match would be over.
Permanently over.
It was a sound strategy, one that most likely worked well against the vast majority, given the snapper’s frightening combination of speed, strength, and size.
But Splinter was a martial artist, belonging to one of the oldest and most skilled ninja clans of the world. Splinter was a Hamato, he had been training in ninjutsu since he could walk, he had been skilled enough to intend to succeed his father as the leader of the clan, and thus, when a sharp elbow tried to impale his collarbone he saw his chance and ducked low, tripping the larger turtle with a swing of his leg. With the momentum of the attack it was easy to throw Savage against the wall, using his opponent’s heavier weight against him.
The snapper slammed against the surface hard enough to crack it, the few weapons that remained hanging on the wall shaking with the force of the blow.
“Stop fighting!” Michelangelo confirmed he was present in the room. “He said the episode won’t stop if—”
Savage growled a murderous sound, barely affected by his encounter with the wall, and stood up once more. Splinter couldn’t stop fighting, he knew he would die if he dared. Thus, he inwardly tried to determine how much damage he would have to inflict, if he needed to knock out the young adult but wanted to avoid causing any long-lasting injuries—
“Hey, help me!” Raphael snapped out of his trance, at last, “I’m— uh, I’m scared, so come help me!”
And that.
That, surprisingly, made Savage halt his next attack. He stood still, panting heavily with short, threatening growls leaking out every now and then, as he tilted his head so he still had Splinter in his field of vision, but could also see the group of petrified teens that were standing near the dojo’s entrance.
“I’m a tot or whatever, so come help me!”
“Tot?” Savage huffed gruffily, carefully stepping to the side so he was still facing Splinter, but could now stand…
… between him and the teens. Savage didn’t seem to mind the vulnerable position, showing his back to the smaller turtles without concern while growling warningly at him.
Savage was protecting his sons from Splinter. Savage considered him a threat to his own family.
The notion hurt like a stab to the heart, but Savage wasn't someone he could reason with, and thus, Splinter slowly raised both palms in surrender and stepped farther away. Savage stopped growling and took a step back himself, closer to the teens even if he still refused to look away from Splinter.
“Tot?”
“Yeah, uh, and I’m scared and shit, so gimme a hug or something—”
“That’s the worst impression of a tot I’ve ever heard.”
“Shut the fuck up Leo, I’m trying, ok!?”
Savage huffed what sounded like a laugh, or a sneeze, even if he still refused to turn around and continued to overfocus on Splinter.
“Oh, he snorted!” Michelangelo smiled and shoved Donatello away. Just because.
“What— hey, what was that for!?”
“I didn’t want your ugly face standing too close to me. What’cha gonna do about it, huh?”
Raphael seemed to get the idea, because he turned to Leonardo and gave the ghost of a smirk. “Space Heroes is the dumbest show on the planet.”
“Oh you didn’t,” Leonardo scoffed with a quick wink. “You don’t have any taste—”
“What’s wrong with my face? Spoiler alert, there’s nothing wrong with my face!” Donatello defended with dramatic, exaggerated arm gestures, and Savage huffed another chuckle, half-turning around to look at the bickering teens and finally facing away from Splinter’s immobile form.
“Captain Ryan is nothing but a power-hungry jerk—”
“You take that back!”
“It’s ok Donnie, come here, maybe I can fix your cheeks or something—”
“Eugh, no, when was the last time you washed your hands? Don’t touch my face, get away from me!”
“I'm not touching you!”
“You're touching me!”
“Not touching, it's free air Donnie—”
“Pffft, hahaha,” the snapper laughed at last, all tension fully dissipating as he did, “disaster… quadruplets…”
“Big guy?”
A slow blink. “Yeah, Rafa?”
“Oh thank fuck—”
“Language.”
“ — you scared the shit out of me!”
“Language— ugh, why do I bother,” Spiky Raph huffed lightheartedly, trapping Raphael in a headlock to nuggie the top of his head. “At this stage it’s too late to make you a good, loved-by-grannies citizen.”
“Hey, stop that!” Raphael squirmed with a strained laugh, trying to escape without success.
“What about me?”
“They would adore you, Mikey,” the snapper reassured warmly.
“And me?”
“Yeah! You too Leo, you could play lots of board games together!”
“And me too.”
It wasn’t a question, but: “They totally would Don, you always have interesting fun facts.”
“Hey, how come I’m the only one unlikeable here!?”
“Oh no, not the only one, I think I’d scare them!” Spiky Raph admitted with a laugh, finally releasing the teen. “It’s ok Rafa, we can sulk together in a corner—”
“That’s your plan? Because that’s fucking pathethic—”
“Language!”
The atmosphere was astoundingly light, considering how charged with bloodlust it had been just a minute prior.
Splinter gave a tentative step forward. “May I move now?”
Spiky Raph turned to look at him, smile quickly vanishing as he finally took note of the state of the room. The scattered weapons, the punch-sized craters on the floor, the misplaced rugs and the cracked wall.
“Oh no,” every hint of warmth and good humor had disappeared without trace, replaced with pure horror, one hand hovering in front of his mouth. “What— what did he do? Oh no, no, no, is everyone alright—”
“He didn’t hurt anyone, it’s okay!” Michelangelo patted his arm when the snapper started to hyperventilate.
“Yeah, we can always repair the room, don’t panic,” Donatello added while avoiding everyone’s gaze.
“I think Savage was focused on Master Splinter? He ignored us, he was just growling at him—”
“No, he wasn’t ignoring us,” Raphael corrected his older brother, “Savage was… protecting us. From him.”
And that fact hurt so much to hear. Especially when Spiky Raph didn’t seem surprised by it, and Raphael was just glaring at the floor as he admitted it outloud with controlled acceptance.
“Wait, what?” Leonardo glanced at his brother, then at Splinter with clear disbelief. “No. No, no way, that doesn’t make any sense, why would he—”
“That’s, uh, that’s ‘cause… um, I need to— there’s something I need to tell you,” Spiky Raph took in a deep breath, turning to look at Splinter with visible effort. “I’m just— I just can’t— I don’t know how, I don’t know how. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”
The snapper was crying in earnest now. Raphael pulled his hand downwards, encouraged him sit down, but even when pliant Spiky Raph didn’t seem to even register the teens crowding around him, eyes frantically roaming around the room as if physically searching for the right words.
“My presence is… something you subconsciously consider threatening,” Splinter shared his worst suspicion out loud, absolutely heartbroken when the young adult sobbed and nodded, closing his eyes strongly.
He was going to punch his counterpart, if he ever met the man.
“I don’t mean to be scared of you, I know you’re not— I know you’re not him, you’re not him, but sometimes when you speak— when you scold, when you order something, all I can think of is— everything. The pain, the— the hunger, and I’m so sorry, so sorry—”
He was going to send his counterpart to the hospital, once he could face the man.
“I’ve tried— but I can’t, nothing works,” the snapper said rapidly, hiding his face in his palms as he choked another sob, “and I don’t understand, I never could, why pat my head? Why let me sit on his lap, why hug me, why read to me at night? Why would he bother treating my injuries if he was just going to make me bleed all over again —”
Kill him. Splinter was going to kill his counterpart, once he could hunt down the rat.
Michelangelo was covering his mouth with both palms, silencing his cries. Leonardo and Donatello looked absolutely horrified, hovering nearby at a loss of words, shivering, and Raphael—
Raphael was furious, gritting his teeth hard enough Splinter could hear the sound, fists clenched at his sides as his whole body trembled in an effort to not lash out, to not move, to not fight against an enemy that wasn’t even present. His son had silent tears of pure rage rolling down his cheeks, and Splinter immediately understood he was not alone in his self-appointed quest.
And that fact saddened him beyond words.
“Why? I was just a kid, why did I do to deserve—”
“Nothing,” Splinter interrupted icily, because this— this was too hard to listen to, his sons shouldn’t even be present for this, they shouldn’t be witnessing the emotional breakdown of one of their brothers; but Splinter knew telling them to leave wasn’t an option, not when they had already heard this much. The least he could do was mitigate the damage, censor the details for now. He would speak more with Spiky Raph later. “You did nothing wrong, you did not deserve any of that.”
The snapper sobbed hard in response, curling on himself until his head was close to his knees. “Then why? Why?”
“Spiky Raph…”
“Michelangelo, let me handle this,” Splinter interrupted firmly as he stepped closer to the crying turtle, mildly noting Leonardo pushing back two of his younger brothers. Raphael remained where he was, too emotionally compromised to be touched, not without reflexively lashing out.
Splinter knelt down in front of him, keeping himself from hugging the crying turtle. The event of the morning had taught him not to reach out without clear permission to do so. “My poor child, you did nothing wrong. It is not your fault that life sent you that… that excuse of a man to be your father —”
He spat the last word with venom, because associating the title with someone that had caused so much hurt to his own son left a bad taste in his mouth.
The snapper abruptly choked in his tears, lifting his head up with a quick: “what?”
Splinter was too angry to notice the subtle shift in tone, how that single word sounded less heartbroken and more incredulous.
“And I know it will be hard, but I can promise you I am nothing like him. We may share a name, but that is the limit of our resemblance.”
“...what?” the young adult seemed shocked beyond words as he stared at him, and Splinter’s heart sank at the reaction. Was his reassurance that difficult to believe? Did the turtle seriously think he was just like the man that had hurt him so much?
“I mean what I say,” Splinter said firmly, ears lowering backward as he silently begged this poor child to believe in his words. “I am not like him. Your Splinter may be neglectful, abusive—”
And that was as far as he got before he was punched in the face. Splinter was caught off guard, so even when he moved to dodge by pure muscle memory, he was still much too close to completely avoid the hit. The bandaged knuckles got him hard enough to bruise, hard enough to push him back, to the point of losing his balance.
He regained his footing with a practiced roll, muscle memory helping him stand up again at a safer distance, even when he was inwardly still shocked and reeling.
“How dare you,” the snapper snarled as he stood up as well, trembling with quiet fury, “don’t bring my pops into this! He RESCUED. ME! He’s the reason I’m not there anymore, he's the reason I’m not a soldier, not a monster! He’s the reason my brothers could grow up without the blood and the pain!”
Oh.
Oh.
It seemed… Splinter had drawn the wrong conclusion. The snapper had been talking about the stage of his life where he had to fight to survive, when he was a soldier made for war, not about his father.
But Splinter had thought… wasn’t that an organization, a group of individuals like the Krang were? He had thought Draxum was just one of many, that it was the only name the snapper remembered. It couldn't be the work of a single individual, no one would think they could wage war by themselves, it was illogical, impossible.
And the snapper had mentioned things like head pats, sitting on someone’s lap so they could read to him at night. Who could that be, if not his father?
“My pops is the reason we had a home, the reason we survived! He’s not like Draxum—”
“I did not—”
“YOU ARE!” the turtle roared louder when Splinter tried to speak, and the accusation hurt much, much more than the punch did. “You are the one that issues orders just like him! I hate your voice, I hate your presence, I hate being around you, I hate listening to you, all you ever do is bring up memories of Draxum and I’m tired of it—!”
And that was as far as the snapper got before Raphael shouted: “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” and kicked him behind the knee.
The young adult stumbled, but didn’t fall down, and turned towards the smaller turtle with an angry growl.
Raphael snarled right back. “SHUT IT ALREADY! YOU DON’T MEAN ANY OF THAT, YOU’RE JUST TAKING IT OUT ON HIM!”
His son was angry, he was still fiercely crying as he punched his counterpart in the arm.
Not with the intent to hurt, but as a wake up call. Just like Splinter did to him at times, a firm touch with his cane to bring him back to his senses, or let him know he had crossed a line. A quick reprimand for Raphael to step back and stop his teenage defiance against Splinter’s instructions or lessons.
“And you know that. You know that, so stop it already,” Raphael huffed more softly, chest heaving and tears still rolling down his cheeks.
His older counterpart sobbed and nodded at him, crying with renewed vigor as he collapsed on his knees. “I’m tired. I’m tired of it, I’m tired of everything. I just want to rest, why can’t I just rest?”
Raphael sobbed brokenly, stepping forward to hug the snapper, bringing his head to his shoulder. “Then rest, you idiot.”
“Raph doesn’t want to be here, Raph doesn’t want…” his counterpart confessed between hiccups, one arm curling behind the teen’s back to return the hug. “Raph doesn’t want to be here…”
One last hiccup, one last shaky breath.
And suddenly the trembling stopped. The arm fell away from the teen's back as the young adult took a couple of slow, deep breaths, and when he lifted his head from Raphael’s shoulder he looked shockingly calm, almost… cold.
“...Big guy?” Raphael asked tentatively, looking searchingly at the snapper’s face.
Dark eyes seemed to be evaluating him back. There was a short pause of silence where they just stared at each other.
“If that’s how you want to call me, I will respond to it,” his counterpart nodded at last, voice sounding deeper and devoid of emotion as he turned away from the teen, evaluating his surroundings with an impassive, calculating stare.
His gaze roamed over the other three teens, who were just standing frozen in confused silence. The turtle glanced at the open door of the dojo, noted the damage the floor and walls had sustained during their altercation, the weapons that were spread out around the room, tossed carelessly by Savage, and the few that remained in their rightful place along the walls.
Then his gaze focused on Splinter, who was standing still after being punched away from the group.
The snapper tilted his head and stood up without looking away from him. “You adorn an unpleasant bruise. Whatever happened to cause it?”
He didn’t sound worried, it sounded more like… an indirect way to ask: “What did you do to earn that bruise?”
Splinter was still considered a threat? And Spiky Raph didn’t recall anything? Why? Unless...
“...you do not remember, because you are a different person,” Splinter didn’t ask, and the snapper didn’t answer, just narrowed his eyes at him and gave a single step forward, pushing Raphael behind him in the same gesture.
“State your identity.” It was an order underlined with a silent threat, as large feet shifted ever so slightly into a defensive posture that could turn offensive in the same time it took one to blink.
Whoever this was, their training could not be mocked.
“Splinter. I am Splinter, Hamato Yoshi,” he answered with raised palms, trying to avoid another altercation with… whoever this person was. “I am not Draxum, and I mean no harm to you, nor any of the teens standing behind you. They are my sons, my family.”
He emphasized the last two words, voice wavering ever so slightly as he silently begged them to believe their veracity.
The snapper hummed and, after a long pause of silent study, nodded once in his direction, stance shifting back to one that was merely tense, alert.
“Dude, what the fuck—”
“Stay here,” the bigger turtle ordered without looking at Raphael, simply pushing the teen’s shell until he stumbled towards his brothers. “Stay with the tall Splinter in this room, I will secure the place.”
“...secure the place?” Donatello spoke up at last, “what do you mean?”
“This room reeks of Savage’s fear,” the snapper said as he narrowed his gaze at the dojo’s open door, and although Savage had not bothered taking out his own sais, this one did with assured familiarity, a red bolt of electricity cackling up his arms as he clenched his fists around the weapons. “There must be danger, somewhere close by. I will ensure your safety, but for that you need to stay.”
“Spiky Raph?” Michelangelo called tentatively, sounding much too young as he finally rubbed away the telltale of tears.
“Who… me?” the snapper glanced at the youngest, “my apologies Fourth, that name is not accurate.”
“Why are you acting so weird?” Leonardo asked with concern, stepping forward, “why—”
“Stay. Here.” The snapper said firmly with a pointed stare, the back of his arm immediately tapping the teen’s chest to make him step back. “For your own safety, Third.”
Leonardo frowned confusedly at him, even as he let Raphael pull him back by the arm. “Why?”
The snapper hummed but didn't answer the question, simply turning to face Splinter again. “You, tall Splinter. You are the adult here and the one I will hold accountable. If any of them get out of this room, if any of them are injured during my absence, you will answer to me.”
The last phrase was dripping with threat of violence, a warning show of red lightning traveling up scarred arms, accompanied with a glimpse of teeth.
This person, whoever he was, genuinely would follow up with his word.
This person, whoever he was, genuinely thought there was some sort of enemy lurking in their lair, their home. One dangerous enough to warrant such a heavy warning.
“I will protect them with my life,” Splinter said sincerely as he squared his shoulders, deciding to play along for now. “You can go out to secure the perimeter, my only request… is for you to share your name.”
This person, whoever he was, could not be Spiky Raph, nor Savage.
“ I can answer to Big guy, if that is what is familiar,” the snapper replied with a quick glance at Raphael, turning around to finally step out of the dojo, “but if not comfortable with it, you may also call me Subject One.”
Notes:
FANART
AHH Rafa hugging Raph’s head throughout his night terror QuQ Raphs’ bonding my beloved!! and look at Savage protecting Rafa and at the brothers trying to help during the night terror
and look at this cute picture of Raph's system All four identities together, such a beautiful contrast... look at Raph, I wanna pinch his cheeks~And then, of course, Raph with his tiny 12!brothers who grow gradually smaller in each passing pic ksksks
And everything about this kills me and gives me life at the same time Raph with his two murderous protectors!!
And then this collection of Snippets featuring Subject One, Child Raph with his little tots (so small, so hamburger shaped, I wanna ñom ñom at them!) and a heartbreaking scene of him bleeding QuQ my poor baby ahhhhh!
And look at Savage protecting Rafa
AN
Oh man, this was a long chapter. The bed placement showcases the 12!teens’ emotional closeness with Splinter and the parallels between their roles~Poor 12!Splinter knows next to nothing about his counterpart. All Raph’s ever shared was Ch2 that he is taller, and that Rise!Splinter let them watch and imitate movies (which 12! considered playtime). “Formal training” didn’t sound too bad, since Raph said it was born out of fear of them not being able to handle things on the surface, something he could relate to, but that’s it. Next mention of him is on Ch 7, and he basically assumed that Splinter provided food and nothing else.
*Here’s some Character Analysis on 12!Splinter if you want to read more on my interpretation of him, and why this scene (*) is written this way.
As for why the teens aren't more worried when seeing Savage vs Splinter? At this point of time (S1) Splinter is invincible in their eyes. They haven't succeeded on landing a hit on him, and sensei is sensei, when has he ever lost? *Cries in Requiem*
As always, thanks for reading & the appreciation you so kindly give this story <3 this level of interaction (kudos, comments, Tumblr notes, Fanarts, etc.) it's a first for me and means a lot! Love U all <3 See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 15: Subject One
Notes:
I've been BLESSED WITH FANART! SO MANY THIS WEEK AHHH *dies, happily*
Look at this cute picture of Raph's system All four identities together, such a beautiful contrast... look at Raph, I wanna pinch his cheeks~
And this beautiful fanart that perfectly pictures the sibling dynamics in this fic kskskks I love it so much, Raph with his new set of brothers. He fits right in! <3
And look at, Raph with his tiny 12!brothers who grow gradually smaller in each passing pic ksksks love it so much... and the contrast with the last picture at the end, gives me goosebumps everytime!! Savage, my murderous protector... what is dripping from your teeth, saliva or blood?
And then this collection of Snippets featuring Subject One, Child Raph with his little tots (so small, so hamburger shaped, I wanna ñom ñom at them!) and a heartbreaking scene of him bleeding QuQ my poor baby ahhhhh!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Subject One
(10K words)
Since they were temporarily confined to the room, they had begun picking up the scattered weapons to return them back to their place, and rolling up the rugs so they could uncover the hidden damage to the floor’s tiles. At some point later, once they could leave the dojo without dooming Splinter, they would go grab a broom to sweep away the broken pieces of wood and concrete.
“Donnie, do you think you could—”
“Repair the damage, yeah, I know Leo. I’m already thinking on how to best do it; I might as well place reinforcements while I’m at it…”
“Uh, Raph,” Mikey called tentatively as he placed a rolled-up rug against the wall, “how did— uh, what made Savage… come out? I know Spiky Raph was feeling kinda down yesterday, and this morning was kinda worse, but…”
Donnie paused his self-muttering to look at him. Leo froze up nearby the tree, as they both mulled over a question that had not even been directed at them. Mikey was used to the lack of privacy, but it still bothered him just how nosy everyone could be.
Raph huffed, glancing at Splinter’s closed door — their father had said he needed a moment to meditate and center himself, and would be back in a few minutes — before standing up with a halberd in his hold. “I tried telling sensei that training today was a bad idea. Not like he ever listens to me.”
“Raph, you know sensei doesn’t mean—”
“I’m well aware of what you think, Leo,” Raph scoffed with an angry look that just barely managed to disguise the hurt. “I know I was a fucking idiot, too. I should have sent you to tell him, sensei only ever listens to you.”
Donnie looked away from them, knowing what was coming.
“That’s not true and you know it!” Leo defended, stepping closer to Raph to enforce his own perspective as the absolute truth, which was bound to put their brother on the defensive, and then it would end up escalating into a fight, as always.
Mikey was so, so tired of their old dance.
“Not now Leo,” Raph warned with a tired hiss. His eyes were still reddish and puffy, with some tear marks on his face since he still couldn’t be bothered to rub them off. It was a testament to just how drained their brother was.
Mikey rubbed absentmindedly at his own cheek, knowing he probably had some tear marks too. He had to agree with Raph on this one, their morning had been emotionally exhausting as it was, they didn’t need to add the usual “who’s Splinter favorite” discussion on top of it.
He stole a glance at their father’s room, who was hiding from the whole situation behind his meditation, while he and his brothers tried to repair some of the damage to the dojo.
Hiding from it all while he and his brothers tried to repair their strained family bonds.
“What… what made Spiky Raph overflow?” he asked before Leo and Raph could dive into a heated discussion or worse still, a fist fight.
Raph sighed with visible exhaustion, moving his head to the sides to crack up his much-too-tense neck and shoulders. “Fear. You saw how he reacted to Splinter when he woke up today, and what he said about… his voice and all that shit. I think watching us yell at each other was the last straw.”
That… didn’t really fit though. The snapper had said Savage didn’t attack first, that it would be fine so long they left him alone, and Splinter knew that too, he wouldn’t have made the first move. There was something else at play—
“Of course you yelled at Splinter,” Leo shook his head with disappointment, “would it kill you to talk to him like a civil person, for once?”
Raph’s breath hitched, lip curling upward in a silent snarl. He was on the verge of snapping, and that was literally the last thing they needed—
“I wonder why he didn’t mention anything sooner,” Donnie asked neutrally as he passed a rug to Leo, physically stepping between the two of them. “Sensei maybe could have done something to help if he had known about… you know.”
“Speaking about that stuff is not easy,” Mikey answered before Leo could give an opinion, because his big brother probably would end up saying something that would accidentally set Raph off. That was his specialty.
“He could have tried—”
“Like we didn’t judge the fuck out of Savage when he first told us about him,” Raph interrupted Leo with a warning glare.
“That— that was different!” Leo scoffed defensively, “back then we didn’t know—”
“And we don’t know about this either,” Mikey hurriedly passed another rug to Donnie, who didn’t take it, so the large tube was just… there. Between them.
Leo gave him a betrayed look. Mikey shrugged and gave him an innocent smile.
His older brother took a deep breath and finally snatched the rug, turning away from them. “Whatever the case, we can’t change the past. At least we can do something about it now that we know, so it doesn’t happen again.”
“And no one was hurt,” Donnie nodded, looking up at the tree’s branches. “I just don’t understand why… why did it end up like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if Savage doesn’t attack first, and Splinter knew that, how did they end up fighting anyway?” Oh, so Donnie had noticed that too.
Leo frowned pensively, glancing at their father’s closed door — their dad must be deeply concentrated in his meditation, if he wasn't reacting to their voices — before shaking his head. “Sensei wouldn’t attack first.”
Raph turned to walk away from them without a word.
“Hey Raph—”
“Shut up Leo.”
“ — who attacked first? What set them off?” their brother didn’t let up, and Mikey had a horrible, sinking feeling about it. “You were the only one of us here when it—”
Raph punched the wall, half turning to glare at Leo as he hissed an incensed: “I said shut up, I don’t wanna talk about it. Why don’t you ask Splinter, since you two get along so well?”
“Uh, guys?” Mikey called to no avail.
“Stop saying that! And don’t try to change the topic, Raph,” Leo narrowed his eyes, “why do you always do this? I can’t help if I don’t know what happened, you just need to answer a simple—”
Frick, too late to avoid a fight now. Donnie grabbed him by the shoulders to pull him back; and Mikey leant against his taller brother, grateful for the grain of peace in the seawaves of never-ending conflict.
Splinter’s door slid open at the same time as Raph finally snapped and tried to hit Leo.
“You always do this Leo!”
“Yame!” Splinter yelled sternly, striding towards them with long steps. “Stop, you two!”
Raph turned to glare at him. “You don’t even know what happen—”
“I said stop, Raphael!” Splinter ordered with a no-nonsense voice, before sighing off the worst of tension and continuing with a softer: “Please. Not now. I understand we have many things to discuss, but this is not the right time.”
That was exactly what Raph had tried to tell Leo, just with other words, and they all knew it. Leo looked away from them, face pinched with regret as he rubbed his arm sheepishly. Raph seemed even angrier at being scolded when he was ‘in the right’ this time and gritted his teeth, crossing his arms defensively.
“Please, Raphael—”
“You never listen, I don’t know why I keep trying,” his brother scoffed as he glared at the floor, looking like he was on the verge of tears again. Mikey felt the urge to break the tension somehow, to do or say something silly, make them focus on him, but he was— he was tired too. He was tired too, so he just leaned more against Donnie’s side.
Sensei lowered his ears back, expression hurt. “Raphael…”
His brother just turned around, walking away from the group.
Mikey sniffed and turned to headbutt Donnie’s shoulder. He wanted to comfort Raph, and his father, and Leo. He wanted to put glue all over them and piece them together, as if that would fix everything.
But forcing together puzzle pieces that just… couldn't fit together… would just damage them more in the long run. It would just form a fake picture of a completed puzzle, of a loving family , one that would come apart as soon as the glue wore off and the pieces popped out of the place they had been forced into—
“Raph, wait!” Leo called, stepping forward as if to catch up before hesitating. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Wait Leonardo,” Splinter made a gesture that made his older brother immediately halt, one ear twitching.
The door of the dojo opened a short moment after.
“All clear,” Spiky Raph— no, Subject One said as he stepped into the room with a confused frown, holding Spike in one hand. “I couldn’t find… anything.”
The snapper hovered close to them, dark gaze now focused on Raph. “Hey, are you alright?”
“Fucking peachy,” Raph grumbled as he plopped at the corner, glaring at the wall and hugging his knees up to his chin.
Splinter sighed, sounding as tired as everyone looked. “If the perimeter is clear, can the children step out now?”
Subject One didn’t answer verbally, nor did he bother looking in his direction. The older turtle just made a ‘wait’ motion and walked deeper into the room, until he was kneeling in front of Raph.
“I found this little one wandering. Can I entrust their safety to you?”
Raph glanced up with a tired frown, eyes widening slightly at seeing his pet.
”Spike,” he whispered with obvious relief, immediately reaching forward to take him.
“Thank you. I’m sure you will perform well in your assigned duty, First,” Subject One nodded with the ghost of a smile, before raising up again. “To answer your previous inquiry: no, don’t step out.”
Splinter frowned. “Under which reasoning?”
“If nothing is wrong, then nothing is okay,” Subject One said with a heavy frown, “otherwise I would not be here.”
“But you have already—”
“I know,” the snapper stepped closer to him with a heavy, weary sigh. “Clearly, there is something I have missed. Enlighten me, tall Splinter.”
It was not a question, but an order.
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Subject One quirked an unimpressed eyebrow, a gesture and tone sensei would have scolded them for. “Tell me what happened prior to my awakening, based on that I will understand my purpose.”
Splinter exhaled heavily, obviously trying to let the disrespect slide. “Once the kids leave, we may speak.”
Subject One hummed, turning his head down to look at them. “Kids, if you wish to leave, you can. Otherwise you can stay.”
“That is not their decision—”
“It is, actually,” Subject One countered firmly, “if they are here with me then they are not endangered, and I can breathe with ease.”
Splinter raised a hand to massage his temple, probably nursing a headache. “You have already secured the perimeter, there is no reason to—”
“Fine, since you cannot understand the obvious I will be more upfront,” Subject One scoffed derisively. “They were here when I woke up, in this room covered with Savage’s trademark signs, and they deserve to have a say on the matter. They can stay and hear an answer if they need one to be at peace, or leave if they are fine without knowing, but it is their choice.”
Splinter’s grip on his cane grew harder, eyes narrowed warningly. The snapper didn’t back down and met the hard stare right on, unblinking, tail flicking as he took a stance.
The tension was unbearable, Mikey almost wanted to leave just to escape from it, but his need to know, to understand, was higher. So he stood rooted in place, because contrary to what his brothers believed Mikey actually wanted to be involved in hard topics like this one, he didn’t need their babying, he could handle this stuff just like they could!
“I wanna stay, sensei,” Donnie was the first to speak up, always the boldest when it came to defying Splinter, although Raph usually wasn’t far behind—
“Same here.” Yap, there he was. His brother had Spike in his hands as he slowly approached the group once more.
“I wanna listen too,” Mikey added, fingers playing with the rub bands Donnie had given him. The little sound as it slapped against his wrist helped keep his mind grounded. “It’s ok sensei, we’re not tots anymore.”
He smiled up at his dad, trying to ease his worries, but Splinter looked saddened by it all.
“I’m…” Leo hesitated between the need to know, to control, everything that affected their family and the desire to please their father. “I guess I should stay to keep an eye on you guys.”
Raph gave their brother a look of contempt at the phrasing, stepping aside so he could use Mikey as a muffler between them. Oh joy.
“Then it’s settled,” Subject One said firmly before Splinter could interject. “Let us start with the beginning, shall we? I can take an educated guess at who you are, but why is my family not present?”
“Oh, I can answer that,” Donnie perked up, because explaining things he knew about was one of his favorite things, “I brought you here accidentally, I was trying to make a laser gun but it ended up upgrading itself into a portal gun instead. You are the only one that landed here though.”
Subject One hummed and gave a slow nod. “Then your expertise relies on technology in this world too. And you are working with us to get us back?”
“Yeah.”
A respectful nod. “Alright, thank you Second.”
“Why do you call us by number?” Mikey asked next, honestly curious and desperate to try to lighten things up, if only just a bit. An easy question with an easy answer, hopefully.
“I call my little brothers the same way,” Subject One shrugged one shoulder, “I’m One. They are Two, Three, and Four, it is quite simple.”
Oh, Subjects Two, Three and Four! Right, they had been…. mutated on purpose, kinda like lab rats, except they were turtles. Ones made for war.
Mikey remembered everything Spiky Raph had hinted at in his breakdown and shivered at the implications of it all.
“You are One,” Splinter latched at that answer immediately, “can you tell us more about you?”
“There is not much to say. I’m a retired soldier, an ex-commander. I tackle everything Raph and Savage can’t; which brings me back to this,” he gestured around them. The dojo looked a bit better after Mikey and his brothers worked on it, but it still had its wall and floor visibly damaged. “I now understand why Raph is here, but what brought out Savage?”
Splinter sighed heavily, looking like he had aged five years in the last hour. “From what he could share before you… appeared. There are certain aspects of my person that… remind him of someone called Draxum.”
“Ah,” the snapper closed his eyes and nodded once. “I understand now, so that is my purpose.”
“Which is…?”
Subject One opened his eyes once more, slowly sitting down on the floor with an expression of careful neutrality.
“You, sensei , need to know about Draxum so you can be more careful in your mannerisms, so you stop unknowingly imitating him. It is unusual for me to be called to confront a conversation instead of an enemy, but I understand why Raph’s bleeding heart could not take it. He doesn’t remember all of it either… it is natural for it to fall on me.”
“You remember?” Mikey asked sadly as he sat down beside him, because that sounded…
“Everything. I know the story behind each line and mark,” Subject One nodded, gesturing at the scars of his arm. “I know of the ones that healed as well. That makes me the best fit for this conversation.”
Yes, it sounded like he protected Spiky Raph from the worst of it, and the things he did remember seemed pretty horrible already. Just how deep did the scars run?
“Then, as you say, enlighten me,” Splinter sighed tiredly, sitting in seiza in front of the snapper. “What is it that I’m doing wrong?”
“I have not interacted with you for long enough to answer that,” Subject One snorted humorlessly, “all I can do is tell you about Draxum. You will have to identify the similarities on your own.”
Splinter rubbed the space between his eyes back and forth; tired, saddened, frustrated. Their father was not prepared for everything this day had put him through, and it showed. “My sons… this is not a conversation you should stay for.”
“I can adjust the details to be fit for younger ears,” the snapper added with an understanding nod, “I was not lying when I said their presence is calming. I don’t have to worry about their safety if they remain in my field of vision.”
Huh, so he was controlling with good intentions, just like Leo. Mikey mildly wondered if all older brothers were like that.
Splinter made a tired, ‘go on’ gesture.
“Alright then… I suppose a physical description is the easy start. Draxum is a goat yokai, you have the same eye color, overall height, and claws. I think the similarities end there.”
“I don’t understand, I never could, why pat my head?”
So that was the reason Spiky Raph reacted like that when Splinter tried to pat his head this morning.
His father seemed to get it too, because his fingers twitched as he glanced down at his hands, slowly moving them to interlace his fingers together, to control newborn tremors.
“I see,” the words were soft but steady, “and my voice?”
“Quite different since you have an accent. I think it could sound quite like him in the authoritative tone… and the way you express yourself, the wording, perhaps. To give you an idea, he sounded something like this.”
The snapper closed his eyes and cleared his throat, shoulders squaring up as he straightened in his seat.
“You will not be coddled in a real fight, stand up. Are you ready for the next exercise?”
Mikey tensed up, hands grasping at his belt to twist the material. Threatening, cold, he sounded so cold—
The snapper suddenly leant forward with a silent snarl, glaring somewhere past Splinter’s shoulder. “Stop that at once! Do not make me repeat myself!”
The shift in attitude Subject One took as he imitated Draxum was frightening. It sent a shiver down his spine, so Mikey hid his head partially in his shell. Donnie had raised both hands to cover his ears, shoulders tense, and Raph had cursed and reflexively kicked the snapper’s knee while cradling Spike close to his chest. Leo’s hand was gripping the handle of his katana, frozen in position as if he had just barely caught himself before lashing out.
Splinter flinched, fingers twitching but still interlaced, and ears flat against his skull.
“...sorry if that was sudden, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Subject One said more softly, “that is just… some of the more harmless examples. Do you need a moment to collect yourselves?”
Raph exhaled deeply, cradling Spike closer and wordlessly shaking his head, deep in thought. Leo and Donnie let their hands slowly fall to their lap once more, and Mikey got out of his shell completely.
“Um, we’re good,” Mikey answered when no one else did.
“Tap the floor if you need a break at any point,” Subject One ordered calmly, evaluating them for a short moment before focusing back on Splinter. “Can you repeat these phrases in a similar tone? If I listen to them in your voice—”
“No,” his father whispered with a heartbroken shake, “no, that is not necessary.”
“...strict speech pattern is a similarity then,” Subject One sighed. “Raph also cannot stand formal training, if you must know, so don’t force him into it.”
“I did not… I asked if he was alright with…”
Subject One made a grimace. “Yes, well, Draxum was not someone we could say “no” to. He will follow the instructions most of the time, no matter how much it hurts, so don’t put him in that position.”
“I knew he was lying,” Raph muttered to himself, frowning heavily at the floor as he pet Spike. “I fucking knew it.”
Splinter’s ear twitched in Raph’s direction, and he lowered his head with honest remorse, but said nothing to address it.
“...with this in mind, I ask again. What caused that bruise?” Subject One pressed in a neutral tone. “Based on that I may be able to advise you.”
Splinter sighed— he was doing that a lot today — lifting one hand to his bruised cheek. “No, this was… when he talked about it, I thought he was speaking about my counterpart, not Draxum. I said something I should not have.”
“You were comparing Draxum with my Splinter,” the snapper blinked slowly, as if processing the words and inwardly questioning sensei’s intelligence. “Why?”
“He mentioned… hugs and head pats. Someone reading to him at night—”
“Right, right,” Subject One quickly interrupted, expression somewhat pained as he lifted a single palm, “I get it.”
“How was Draxum, exactly? He sounds kinda like a dad in that aspect, even when he obviously wasn’t.” Only Donnie could be able to ask something so insensitive so directly, and with no hesitation. Mikey flinched and gave a reprimanding look to his brother, who didn’t even seem to notice the change in atmosphere.
The snapper let out a shaky breath, smiling ruefully at the floor with a fist clenched tightly. “Wow, you really are you, Second. Different yet so similar…”
“Uh,” Donnie squirmed in his seat, finally noticing something was not quite right, “what does that mean?”
“Nothing of importance,” the snapper reassured, fist slowly relaxing as he took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, avoiding everyone’s gaze. “Draxum… did some things that were… hard to understand for us, back then.”
He took another deep breath, bringing one knee close to his chest and resting his arm over it, tail curling around his ankle. “ I think we were both, his child and his soldier, two opposing truths standing in conflict. So he would explain battle strategy to me, make us fight to the point of— make us fight to survive ,” he censured with a silent snarl, “but also treated our injuries and… cleaned our tears… afterwards. We used to love him, with the kind of ignorance only a child that knows nothing else can have.”
Splinter closed his eyes and lowered his head, expression pained. “I’m sorry you had to go through something like that...”
The snapper thinned his lips and nodded once. “Yes, well. We escaped at the first opportunity. If you don’t want your children to do the same, don't make the same mistake, sensei .”
Splinter choked on thin air, abruptly standing up. “What does that mean?”
Mikey had never seen his father so agitated, with irregular breathing and scared gaze, ears lowered and teeth slightly bared. He looked more afraid in this moment than he had been when confronting Savage.
Subject One was unfazed, expression of careful neutrality still firmly in place.
“There is a delicate balance between son and student. When the time comes for you to pick a side, make sure it is the right one,” the snapper said solemnly, knowing eyes staring intently at Splinter.
Oh.
Oh…
Mikey wanted to cry. He could feel tears pooling in his eyes again, because sensei— sensei was sensei most of the time, Mikey was the only one that called him dad more often, but his brothers usually defaulted to that title because…
“You can’t say— you don’t know a fuck about our family!” Leo stepped in front of Splinter with incensed fury, fists curled at his sides.
“I didn’t claim to,” the snapper nodded with a softer gaze at his brother, “this is just a word of warning, from my own experience.”
“Well, you can save it because we don’t need it!” Leo yelled, somehow angrier when faced with the mask of careful neutrality Subject One presented. “Sensei is our dad, our father, and he’s done the best he could! He loves us and cares for us, and—”
“Sensei is your father,” the snapper repeated, “or is your father your sensei?”
“I didn’t—” Leo stuttered, “that’s not what I meant! Don’t twist my words to fit whatever— whatever idea you have in your head! Because it’s not—”
“Leonardo,” Splinter whispered, one hand resting on his shoulder and squeezing, “thank you my son, but that is… that is something I needed to hear.”
“What!? No! He’s wrong!” Leo insisted, now at the verge of crying too. Mikey quietly sobbed at the heartbreak in the air, tears now freely rolling down his cheeks. Was everybody going to cry today? When would the tears stop? “He’s wrong and we know it! We—”
Leo finally turned to face them, to face his brothers.
Raph was hugging Spike close to his chest, looking pained at his own feet. Donnie’s gaze was vacant as he opened and closed his palms, rocking slightly in place while staring at something far, far away.
Leo turned to him with a pleading look. Mikey sobbed and turned his head down, because he knew. He had known for quite some time. He just… he just didn’t know if things could be fixed, didn’t know how to bring it up without making it sound like an attack. He had known Leo would get defensive, and Splinter wouldn’t bother to listen to him fully, he would interrupt, say something wise, and pat Mikey on the head like he was some sort of toddler that needed to be coddled and protected, instead of a person that could have important things to say. Someone he should listen to.
“— sensei only ever listens to you.”
Mikey couldn’t help but agree with Raph on that.
“Y-you…” Leo sounded heartbroken, which made Mikey sob harder, hands rubbing up and down his arms in a self-hug as he rocked back and forth, just like Donnie.
“It’s alright Leonardo,” Splinter sniffed, eyes tearful as he gave his brother a sad smile. “It was time I talked with all of you about this.”
“But you—”
“Please,” their father begged, “listen to me.”
Leo choked and sniffed, trembling in place even as he gave a single nod.
“May I have a moment with them?”
“Hmm,” Subject One nodded, looking away from the group. “I’m hungry. I will prepare something for us all.”
The snapper swiftly stood up, patting the air above Raph’s head in passing as he left, and closed the door behind him.
Splinter knelt, sitting on seiza in front of them, and gestured for Leo to sit down again. They were now in a circle all around him, instead of the usual line they presented whenever they spoke with him in the dojo.
This was more casual. A father talking with his sons, instead of a teacher instructing his students.
“My sons…” Splinter started softly, trailing off into silence as he struggled to find the words. He paused for a long moment, closing his eyes and interlacing his fingers again as he centered himself once more.
“My sons,” he tried again once ready, “ I believe you have been my… students first, sons second for quite some time, and I’m sorry.”
The admission was soft and heartbroken.
It felt like a punch in the gut for Mikey, the only one of them that had still held on that silver thread of hope, that had still called him dad more often. His brothers had given up unconsciously as the years passed by, but Mikey had refused to, he had refused to.
He was an idiot.
He curled on himself, rocking back and forth once more as he tried to hyperventilate as discreetly as possible.
Splinter shook his head in a very rat-like fashion, as if he could feel Mikey’s tears falling atop his head and was trying to shake them off his fur.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner. I’m sorry I let it come up to this, and I’m sorry to ask this of you, but I must... so please, with sincerity, without filter. I will do my best to listen, I promise I will take your words into consideration. Please tell me what I’m doing… tell me what you would like me to do or stop doing, tell me what you have noticed.”
“Take it into consideration, ” Raph repeated with a derisive scoff, “yeah right. Like when I tried to prevent this whole mess this morning? Isn’t that your code for: you’re wrong no matter what you say, so shut up already—”
“Raph!”
“No, Leonardo. I requested sincerity,” Splinter sighed heavily, but straightened up in his position as if preparing himself to receive the blows. “You are right, Raphael. I was saying that to appease you, when I had already made up my mind. I’m sorry I did not listen to you, I’m sorry it came up to this.”
Raph didn’t answer, he just choked up a sob and pulled his knees up, resting both arms on top of them so he could hide in the space inbetween, but could still see them.
Poor Raph looked like he wanted to hide and disappear. Better take the focus off him.
“I know— I know I’m not the best student,” Mikey whispered, snap, snap, snapping at his rubber bands like crazy, ignoring the growing sting, ignoring his blurry vision as tears crawled up his eyes, “I try, but I know I’m not what you expect, not what you want, and I— I feel like no matter how much I try to proof myself nothing I do or say ever— ever changes that idea.”
His voice grew more high pitched as he sobbed out the words. “Everyone treats me like I can’t do anything right, like I can’t know things, like I can’t be competent. It hurts so much to be dismissed, to be put aside as an idiot when I try so hard…!”
Words failed him at that point, as he hugged himself and rocked harder in place, tears now freely falling.
“Oh, Michelangelo…” Splinter sniffed as well but didn’t move, not knowing him well enough to notice the way Mikey craved a comforting touch.
In the end Donnie was the one to hug him, as they both rocked in place together.
“I feel like the maintenance guy more than a family member sometimes,” Donnie admitted in a soft, strangled voice, like speaking up was taking a huge amount of effort. “Like I’m only valued for the things I know, the things I can make, the things I can fix. That’s why… that’s why I was so reluctant to deny your requests, whenever you wanted something. I didn’t want you to stop loving me, stop talking to me, because that’s pretty much the only reason you guys talk to me outside of training or missions and— and I know my rants bore you out, that you couldn’t care less about my personal projects or the things I like and— and I know I mess up sometimes because I can’t read the fucking room or take a hint, and that’s why you snap at me, and I know I’m not the best fighter, I rely more on my head that I do on my bo staff and that makes me a failure of a student— ”
“Donatello—”
“And you know nothing about me, sensei!” Donnie cried angrily on top of Mikey’s head, which in turn made him sob harder. “You know nothing , because you never spend any time with me. Not us, ME! You always treat us like a group that’s glued at the hip, you don’t know me as a person, you don’t— you don’t know anyone! You don’t know what I like, what I’m doing, what’s important to me. Do you know anything about Mikey or Raph? Do you care about what happens to us on the daily? The amount of times I thought I was gonna die because my inventions suddenly turn too volatile, but nobody even worries anymore when they hear them go off! Do you even care!?”
And that was as far as he got before Raph tackled the both of them down, purposely crushing Mikey more than he did Donnie as he hugged them, all while grossly sobbing himself.
“Of course I do, of course I care, that’s why I snap at you so many times, I’m so fucking scared you’ll get yourself killed for something stupid like falling asleep while welding or some shit. You suck at taking care of yourself Donnie, you really, really suck.”
“We love you for being you Don,” Leo added with a sob of his own, “we love you, always have, always will. You’re more than your tech and inventions and fix-ups, you are you, and I— I didn’t even realize— I don’t know when we grew so far apart, when we stopped… talking to each other, playing with each other… like we used to…”
“And you’re not an idiot Mikey, even when you are sometimes,” Raph added with a hiccup, leaning closer to headbutt his shoulder…? Wait, no, eugh!
Mikey choked a laugh and smacked Raph’s face when he tried to clean his snot against his shoulder. Gross! “What— what does that mean? And stop that, ewww!”
“I mean you’re not an idiot Mikey, you just act like one,” Raph answered, voice muffled against his now very gross palm. Yuck! “You’re annoying as hell, you freaking pipsqueak, but I love you anyway. Sorry if I made you feel stupid, I’d trust you with my shell anytime.”
“I’m sorry too Mikey, I know you can be very capable, it’s just that… you get distracted so easily, so often, and I can’t help but worry that’s gonna happen in the middle of a fight and then you’ll be hurt…” Leo whispered, the only one aside from Splinter that had not moved from his seiza position as he trembled in place.
“Fights have lots of things happening at the same time, that’s enough for me to focus,” Mikey admitted softly, cleaning his hand on Raph’s plastron, which made him huff an amused eugk.
“...what does that mean?”
“It means he’s not understimulated,” Donnie sighed at the ceiling, patting Raph’s arm absentmindedly, “so he focuses better when in the middle of chaos, basically.”
“I’m a child of chaos,” Mikey sniffed with a wobbly smile.
“He’s a child of chaos,” Donnie confirmed with a solemn nod and dry tone that made Leo snort and sniff.
“Yeah, somehow that doesn’t come up as a surprise.”
Splinter gave them a sad smile, still unmoved from his seiza position. “Thank you for your sincerity… Leonardo, could you please?”
“Please what?” Leo feigned not to understand, looking away from everyone.
“Be honest. Please, my son, otherwise I fear I will not understand, and I really… would like to be able to become a better man from this learning experience. Please, Leonardo, be sincere.”
Leo thinned his lips, shivering.
“I have nothing to say,” Leo said softly, “I don’t… I don’t know what to say…”
Splinter exhaled deeply. “I understand… please reach out to me once you find the right words.”
“Yeah…”
“Raphael?”
“I’m dry,” Raph admitted with a huff, moving to let Donnie free so he could fully crush Mikey instead. He was always the base of the turtle piles, ouph . “I feel like I could hibernate at this point. I’m so fucking exhausted, all I want right now is to be alone and sleep.”
“That is understandable my son, today has been quite taxing. Then, addressing what’s been mentioned so far…”
Splinter finally rose up from his sitting position, and Raph cursed softly and rolled off him, so they all could sit up again.
The man knelt down, arms pulling Mikey and Donnie in a tight hug that made his brother immediately squirm uncomfortably. Splinter really didn’t know… a thing about his sons…
“I cannot stress enough, how sorry I am,” Splinter whispered at the top of their heads, “but I also know saying sorry a thousand times will not change anything. Michelangelo, please know you have never disappointed me, never , and I don’t see you as incapable in any way. You have more raw talent than anyone else I’ve ever seen, you adapt to your surroundings so easily, and your energy is unrivaled. You become unpredictable for the enemy, and I have no doubt that any opponent you encounter would be very, very wrong in underestimating you.
“You are incredibly smart and creative as well, and I assure you that reflects in every aspect of your life. You are intelligent, my son, and I’m very, very proud of you. I will make sure to say as much more often.”
This should make him happy, this is what he had wanted to hear, was it not?
I believe you have been my students first, sons second for quite some time.
So why was he still so… so sad and disappointed…
“As for you, Donatello—”
“Please let me go already,” Donnie said in a shaky voice, pushing hard against Splinter’s chest. “I hate— please no.”
Splinter flinched and released them from the hug as if burned. “I’m sorry Donatello, I understand if you do not—”
“No, no, is not that, I just— hugs are not, uh… I’m not a fan of physical contact, sometimes. Just ask before… hugging and all.”
“Of course, of course,” their father nodded immediately, “I apologize, Donatello. And your brothers have already said this, but I really need to tell you: Your worth is not measured based on your productivity, nor your usefulness. You are worth the world to me, Donatello, simply for the fact that you are my son, and I am your father, and I’m— I should have dedicated time to you, to all of you, to get to know you better as individuals, instead of focusing solely on group activities.
“When you were younger it was… I could not afford to focus for too long on one of you, because the others would find a way to hurt themselves or make trouble… my little troublemakers, my little tots… I did not realize turning everything into a group activity had become a bad habit, that you were already grown up enough for me to be able to spend time with each of you individually…”
Donnie thinned his lips and looked away, not commenting.
“My sons,” Splinter took in a shaky breath, straightening up before lowering his head all the way down until his forehead touched the floor. The deepest and most sincere apologetic gesture a Japanese man could give. “I am sorry. I will learn from this, I will become better, please know that my door is always open for you… if there were things left unsaid today, please talk to me about it later on, once you find the words that elude you at this moment…”
“...yeah,” Leo whispered tentatively.
“Uh-huh,” Raph sniffed, leaning forward to pick up Spike again.
“Ok,” Donnie shrugged while looking up at the ceiling.
“Thank you dad,” Mikey whispered at last, using the back of his arm to clean up his face and ignoring just how much it hurt to say the last word out loud. They were only three letters, it shouldn’t be hard… Jeez, he must be really exhausted if he was struggling with something so simple.
Also, totally not because he wanted to escape from the room as fast as mutantly possible, it was just that the smell of cooked meat was mouthwatering, so they should end it here.
“Can we go out to eat now? I’m starving,” he tried to sound as lighthearted as he could afford to.
Splinter rose up from his position and gave him a weak smile. “Yes, of course. I was thinking the same…”
For a short moment, nobody moved.
Donnie was the first to rise up, quickly followed by Raph and Mikey. Leo was up next, offering a hand to help up Splinter.
At last, they stepped out of the dojo, just in time to see as the snapper finished serving the meal on individual plates.
“Spiky Raph?” Mikey asked tentatively.
“Not quite yet,” he said simply, turning off the stove. “Raph was a bit… tired. I don’t know when he will be back.”
“That’s okay, I just wanted to know,” Mikey reassured, patting the snapper’s arm.
Subject One looked down at him, blinked, and turned around without reacting to the comforting gesture. “Eat before it gets too cold.”
“I’ll eat in my room,” Raph sighed, putting Spike on his shoulder to grab the plate and a glass of juice.
“Yeah, same. I’ll eat at the lab,” Donnie was already walking towards it with the food and drink on hand. “Goodbye everyone.”
“Enjoy your meal!” Mikey waved at their retreat, trying to inject as much energy and positivity as he could afford, but it wasn’t much. He felt like he had failed them for that, he usually had these things available to share in spades, why couldn’t he remain bright for his brothers when they needed it the most?
“I don’t know how long I will remain as myself,” Subject One said abruptly, looking directly at Splinter, who had just sat down at the table. “So before I go, I just wanted to say… you should never attack Savage. He won’t hurt you first, so next time just leave him alone.”
“I was not the one to initiate our confrontation,” Splinter confirmed what Mikey had already suspected—
“Excuse me.” The relaxed atmosphere immediately turned tense as the snapper let the pot of rice down, stance shifting as he glared at Splinter. “Are you saying Savage attacked you first?”
“That… is correct,” Splinter admitted tentatively, also shifting purposely in his seat.
“What were you doing,” Subject One demanded, “what prompted the attack?”
“I don’t know,” Splinter said sincerely, frowning with exhaustion, confusion, and defensiveness. “I was just having a disagreement with Raphael. We were yelling—”
“Yelling is not enough to earn that reaction,” Subject One snarled silently, lowering both hands to hover over his sais. A silent threat. “Savage is not careless, he knows how much damage he can cause, he knows the consequences of initiating a fight. So what. Did. You. Do.”
Leo stepped closer to their sensei, one hand on the handle of his katana.
Splinter raised up from his seat, posture defensive as he pushed Leo back. “I did not—”
“What did you do!? An action! You did something!” Subject One accused with a show of teeth, tail slamming against the floor once. “Speak up!”
“I did nothing that could—!” Splinter started to say before his breath hitched, ears snapping forward and eyes growing wider at whatever revelation he just had.
“You did, you did and you know it ,” the snapper growled in a low voice. “What was it?”
“I was…” Splinter admitted in a shaky breath, “I was going to tap Raphael at the arm with the cane. To make him center himself—”
“So you attacked him—”
“No, of course not, I would never ,” Splinter hissed with a snarl of his own, “I just— it is just a gesture, a way to make him snap out of it so he listens—”
“So you hit your sons more than you hug them,” Subject One scoffed derisively, and Splinter choked and flinched like he had been physically struck. “Of course, who needs comfort and understanding when you can just enforce your authority? It is so much easier to just make them shut up and listen, and for what purpose? Blind obedience ? Is that what you want? No wonder Raph and Savage compared you to Draxum—”
“Stop—!”
“With the comparisons, I know Third, I know!” the snapper growled at Leo, heaving as he tried to recover the composure, “I know he’s not Draxum. But…”
The snapper exhaled heavily, forcing his shoulders to relax once more. “All I’m saying is that he’s not going to earn any award for parent of the year.”
Leo snarled, in a way Mikey had rarely seen before. “You know nothing —”
“About your family, yes, I can admit to that,” Subject One interrupted, taking up his plate of undercooked meat and placing it atop of the pot of rice, the other hand grabbing a large water bottle. “I will leave now. Enjoy the meal, little brothers.”
He nodded at Mikey and Leo, before narrowing his gaze at Splinter. “And you, with all due respect, I sure hope you improve after today, sensei.”
Splinter plopped down on his seat, all energy drained out of him as he raised one hand to cover his eyes.
“I will,” he admitted in a whisper, “I will…”
“You would be wise to, because I provide only one warning,” Subject One huffed darkly under his breath as he passed by, moving with long strides away from the kitchen.
The atmosphere was so tense it could be cut with a knife.
“Before I forget,” the snapper added once he was about to enter their room, “don’t give Raph any trouble for what I have said and done. He will not remember any of this, so don’t take it out on him. If anything he is gonna need lots of snugglin’ and cuddlin’ which… sounds kind of familiar? Huggin and Munnin? Yes, those were their names… hmm, I wonder…”
He was obviously surmised in his own thoughts as he finally stepped into his room, out of sight.
Mikey considered staying at the table to eat together for one and half seconds, but after everything he was too tired to keep up a cheery facade, and the atmosphere with Splinter and Leo was suffocating.
He didn't want to be alone though, and Donnie and Raph needed that solitude, so...
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” he offered in the most bubbly voice he could afford, trailing behind the snapper before any of them could respond.
“Hey, can I come in?” Mikey asked once he was close enough to the room, but still couldn’t see inside. Spiky Raph had done that when Mikey was crying that day, even after he kicked him, so he wanted to imitate that considerate gesture. His family wasn’t very good at respecting boundaries and privacy… they could get very pushy and Mikey didn’t like it, so he wanted to be better.
“...you want to eat with me?” he sounded surprised.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind?”
“Not at all Fourth, my little brothers are always welcome at my side,” Subject One nodded at him in welcome as Mikey stepped into the room. “I’m just surprised you are not… angered on your Splinter’s behalf, like Third is.”
Yeah, fair concern.
I believe you have been my students first, sons second for quite some time.
Maybe if Mikey weren't so disillusioned by him he would be more peeved.
“I think…” Mikey admitted softly as he sat down beside the larger turtle, “I think these conversations hurt, but we can grow from them, so…”
The snapper hummed in agreement, snout buried into the pot as he practically inhaled all the rice. Fast, practical, and loud. Kinda gross.
“You are very wise, Fourth.”
“Thanks, uh, Subject One,” Mikey gave him a weak smile, “the name feels kinda weird to say, to be honest.”
It was a heavy name. Everything it implied, all the memories of pain and abuse it carried, even when Mikey didn’t even know a fraction of it. He felt uncomfortable saying it out loud.
“I’m fine with Big guy too,” the snapper admitted with a shrug, tugging at the semi-raw meat with his teeth until it tore apart. He was a very messy eater, “and I also answer to Pizza Puffs, as much as I dislike to be used to that nickname.”
“Pizza Puffs?” Mikey snickered despite himself, “why that name?”
“That is how Raph calls me, for one,” the snapper huffed with a humorous smile, “same as Two, Three and Four, because they blame me for whispering at Raph’s shoulder that day.”
Mikey smiled, grabbing his meal with his bare hands and biting down at his steak, since table manners didn’t seem all that important anyway. This was kind of fun. “What happened?”
“My silly little brothers have no sense of self-preservation,” Pizza Puffs snorted with a fond grin, “that day Raph had confiscated a big bag of poisoned pizza puffs in his patrol…”
The tale sounded like something Mikey would enjoy watching in a cartoon. Mikey laughed as the snapper gestured and badly mimicked the secondary effects of the mystic poison, complaining in a soft voice about how dependent they were on Raph, how they expected him to always dive down and fix their mess, and how, for the first time, Raph had ended up refusing to.
“You should have seen their reaction to that, it was like Raph had proclaimed he was going to apply as a Foot recruit,” Pizza Puffs said with clear amusement, laughing a sharp sound.
The meal was very enjoyable, and as the story finally ended Mikey felt like he understood a lot more about Spiky Raph and the role he played with his family in that mystic-attuned world, just from that single instance alone. He mildly wondered if Leo saw the similarities he shared with the snapper…
“For what it's worth,” Pizza Puffs sighed after a long pause of comfortable silence, “I’m sorry I was so blunt and direct with your tall Splinter. I’m usually not at the front for too long, so I needed to make sure I could say everything I had to, with the time I do have before Raph feels ready to come back again.”
He stared at his empty dishes with a concerned frown, so Mikey patted his arm reassuringly.
“We needed to… have that talk, honestly. So thank you for saying what we couldn’t— what we didn’t know how to say… how to fix…”
He still didn’t know how they were gonna fix it. How could they fix years of bad habits and miscommunication, years of emotional distance, even when they had been stuck together in close quarters for all their life…
I believe you have been my students first, sons second for quite some time.
How was he supposed to forgive him and trust in him again? After that— that bullshit!
What kind of person looked at little toddlers and thought yes, students to pass on my ninja legacy! These don't look like sons at all! Let's not think of them as family, they're students! Just students...
Mikey sobbed quietly, hand falling away from the snapper’s arm so he could hug himself, rocking back and forth again. He was heartbroken, and disappointed and angry. The mere thought of it all was overwhelming.
Pizza Puffs looked at him with sad eyes. “I’m not… very good at comforting, I was never taught how to, but if you tell me what to do— tell me how to help, Fourth, how do I help you?”
Mikey choked and cried harder at that, because couldn’t his dad have said that before? Couldn’t Splinter have admitted he didn’t know how to do things and asked? Why was that so hard for him, why had it taken him so long? Was he really gonna change, was he even capable of it?
“Hug, hug,” Mikey pleaded, and big arms immediately dived down to engulf him in comfort, as he was scooped into the snapper’s lap, one big hand pressing his head against plastron as the big turtle rocked back and forth, imitating what Mikey had just done.
“Like this okay?”
He nodded with absolute relief, the pressure was anchoring, and the movement soothing, it was the perfect combination.
A concerned sigh. “Tell me if that changes… I'm not good at this...”
Mikey sniffed and curled against the chestplate. “Thanks Rad…”
The snapper didn’t answer for a long moment, simply rocking in place. “It’s okay Fourth.”
Mikey didn’t know for how long they stayed like that, swaying back and forth. At some point he had ended up falling asleep, too emotionally exhausted to avoid being lulled by the rhythmic movement, but judging by the natural light that was still visible from outside the room and how tired he still felt when he woke up, his nap hadn’t been a long one.
“Spiky Raph?” He called tentatively, rubbing his eyes. Ouch, they kinda burned…
“Not yet,” Pizza Puffs sighed heavily, “I don’t know why… I thought this would convince him to come back to the front, hugging and comforting his little brothers is what he does best, but he is still clinging to Mind Raph like a little kid…”
“Mind Raph?”
“He never fronts, you will not meet him,” the snapper said evenly, “he is just there to comfort Raph and tell us when we are needed. He comes to get either me or Savage if the situation calls for it.”
“Oh,” Mikey whispered, rubbing his cheek against the plastron. For a turtle, the snapper was surprisingly warm. “How many are there… you know?”
“It is only the four of us,” Pizza Puffs said simply. He seemed to be able to talk freely about it, so Mikey carefully settled on his next question.
“How does your family— uh, I mean, do your brothers know about… all of you?”
“About us? Yes. Raph is okay most of the time so Savage and I don’t… we don’t really come out that often, but we are so different they know when Raph is not Raph. They are the ones that came up with the Pizza Puffs nickname for me, actually. The little dipshits.”
Mikey laughed hard at that, because Spiky Raph probably would be scandalized at the prospect of swearing, least of all in front of him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, absolute gremlins, the lot of them. They once asked if I would let them record me cussing, you know? So they could tease Raph later.”
Mikey gasped dramatically, hiding his shit-eating grin behind his palm. “And you said yes? Tell me you said yes!”
The snapper smirked with dark amusement. “Of fucking course I did, serves him right for calling me Pizza Puffs Guy with a straight face.”
Mikey laughed at that, wiggling to get more cozy in the warm hold. He wasn’t a baby, but this was kinda nice.
“What happened next?”
“I don’t recall, I was not fronting. I just know Raph was very disappointed in me, hah!”
“Pffft, yeah, I can imagine,” he chuckled, amusement turning into confused curiosity. “How much do you know?” About when Raph fronts, I mean, since you didn’t— uh, you didn’t recall anything of this… world…”
Mikey squirmed in place, wondering if he was asking too many questions, but Pizza Puffs just hummed and put him down kindly, so they were sitting side to side again. He tried not to pout, he immediately missed the warmth.
“Little scenes here and there, it is difficult to explain. I just… know what I know, and don’t know what I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Sorry, I'm aware that doesn’t clarify things.”
“It’s okay, I was just curious,” Mikey patted his arm, scooting closer to him. “Are you all the same age?”
“That is… more of a guess for us. I know Savage is stuck somewhere around four and five, and I feel more like… maybe around thirty-five or forty? Raph is twenty, same as our physical body. Mind Raph is ageless.”
Huh. “How can you be older than your body?”
“I just am,” the snapper shrugged, grabbing the pile of dirty dishes and standing up, “it feels right for me to be.”
Mikey stood up as well, trailing behind him with his own plate and glass. The kitchen was thankfully empty, so they could leave the things in the sink without any fuss—
“I’m getting restless… I will check the perimeter again,” Pizza Puffs said serenely, walking towards the lair’s entrance.
“I’ll come by!”
“Sure, just remain close to me.”
(x)
“You covered all this distance in the morning!?” Mikey whined incredulously as he dragged his tired feet forward.
“Of course.”
Wow, no wonder the snapper had taken his time to return to the dojo, turns out he had taken a detour deep into the sewers!
“I’m surprised you didn’t get lost,” Mikey sighed, “or like, needed more time to get back.”
“I was running for this part of it, I was more focused on covering ground than on checking little details,” the snapper shrugged. “I didn’t want to take too long, leaving tots alone with just a single adult supervising…”
“Tots? What, say what?” Mikey looked at him incredulously, “we’re not tots!”
The snapper raised an eyebrow at him, gesturing at his… chestplate? “Right, repeat that once this actually develops.”
Mikey choked on thin air. “How old do you think we are!?”
Pizza Puffs blinked. “Not older than eleven, surely.”
Mikey spluttered, affronted. “We’re fifteen! You can’t judge our age just because we don’t have your weird turtle man boobs, that’s not fair!”
“PFFFT HAHAHAHHAHA!” the snapper cackled loudly, hard enough he had to bend down at half, one arm supporting his weight against the wall as he wheezed and fought for air, tears of mirth at the corner of his eyes and the tip of his tail tap-tapping the floor in erratic movements.
He stood there for a long moment, laughing his lungs out and sounding kinda like a dying seal until he ended up coughing. “Haha, ah… Raph hadn’t laughed that hard in a while!”
Raph?
“Spiky Raph?” He asked hopefully.
A slow blink, and a dying chuckle. “Yeah, Mikey?”
“Spiky Raph!” he squealed, jumping up to hug him so he was hanging from his neck like the turtle version of a living necklace. “You’re back!”
“Yeah,” Spiky Raph churred and nuzzled his shoulder, picking him up — thank frick, because he was damn tired! — to cradle him against his plastron. “I feel much better now.”
“I’m happy to hear ya’ bro!” Mikey snickered, headbutting him fondly, which made him churr even louder. Woah, his chest sort of vibrated along with the sound, he was a cat!
“I’m happy to be back,” Spiky Raph admitted, rubbing his cheek against Mikey’s head to live up to his new title of being the biggest and spikiest cat in existence. “What did I miss?”
Thaaaat was a very loaded question. Okay, how to summarize this day?
Hey, so we shattered the frail glass thing that was holding us together as a family but that was necessary for things to change for the better, even if I’m now worried I will never be able to call Splinter “dad” without heartache ever again—
Yeah, no, better tune it down. Like, a lot.
“Nothing much, Pizza Puffs just uh, just checked there was no danger, and, uhm, told Splinter how not to be… Draxum, basically.” He had also chewed him out a few times, made his dad confront many things that ended up in a family crying session, and sort of shared some of how their system worked with Mikey, but that was best left for later.
“Oh, that’s good,” Spiky Raph said simply, “I’m surprised he went by Pizza Puffs though, he usually, uh, he usually presents himself under another name.”
“Yeah, he did that, but I like Pizza Puffs more.”
“Me too buddy, me too,” Spiky Raph admitted, looking around the sewers with a slightly worried expression. “So… where are we?”
“Oh, we were on a secret mission! Checking the perimeter for dangeeeeer,” Mikey said dramatically with wiggling fingers, which made the snapper snicker and nuzzle at him again. Yap, he was the spikiest and most reptilian cat in existence.
“Rad, noooo,” Mikey snickered, pushing his face away. "I'm not a tot haha!"
Spiky Raph froze for a second, and Mikey worried he had said something wrong, but in the end he just snorted and nipped playfully at his palm (eugh!) before straightening up.
“Welp, I’m glad I have ya’ with me little guy, otherwise I’d be very lost,” the snapper admitted with a chuckle, looking around the sewer, “how do we get back?”
Mikey got comfortable and pointed in the right direction, letting the big turtle carry him back home.
It was a nice way to conclude a very shitty day, at least.
Notes:
FANART
This amazing collection of fanart with little Spike, Mikey fluffiness and Turtle Man Boobs TM. *Wheeze* And Mikey’s breakdown, my poor baby so sad, so heartbreaking QuQAlso look at the Cursing Subject One quite at odds with Splinter in the kitchen, and last but not least: COO at babies, Rafa, and a judgy Puffs AKA Turtle Man Boobs where?
Author Note
Sweetness, another long chapter! I can’t believe this fic has so many words already ksksks I wonder how many it will have by the time it ends.I finally write a 12!Mikey POV, and is heartbreaking as heck. My poor baby, why must you be so chaotically self-aware QuQ the disappointment… exploring the way he sees their family dynamics… ouph.
Oh, poor everyone. This fam had a cold bucket of water thrown over their head. I’m sorry existential crises are needed for personal development QuQ.
So, I’ve been researching and trying to write a character with DID/osdd-1a as best I could, but all systems are so unique and complex. I think in a more realistic setting Raph’s trauma would have evolved into many more alters, but from a writing perspective I can’t afford to introduce new characters like this all the time, the fic would never end, and thus, he is to remain with only 4 identities for this story (because this is just a story, not an educational novel on neurodivergency of any kind. Please investigate more if you truly wish to improve your knowledge on something).
Thank you so much for reading and interacting 🥰
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 16: Love Chains
Notes:
ANIMATIC!!! FOR THIS FIC!!! I’VE BEEN BLESSED, AHHHH *Far away sounds of incoherent sobbing*I owe OceanicJessie my heart and soul at this point, I cried so much while seeing it, go check out her beautiful animatic for Raph’s childhood, and take a peek at her channel for other ROTTMNT videos, she’s very talented!! QwQ
FANART
This amazing collection of fanart with little Spike, Mikey fluffiness and Turtle Man Boobs TM *Wheeze* followed by and the Swimming SequelLMAO loved it! And ksksks look at Raph he's so DONE with these teens I laughed so hard, the struggle is real, so much chaos xD
And everything about this kills me and gives me life at the same time Raph with his two murderous protectors!!
And Mikey’s breakdown, my poor baby so sad, so heartbreaking QuQ he deserves all the hugs!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Love Chains
(7.7K words)
Mikey had fallen asleep sometime after Raph started walking them back home, gone out like a light as soon as they got to the subway turnstiles that led into the turtles’ home. This was the path they had previously used to go to the surface that day, so Raph knew his way back home from here, at least.
He walked with nothing but his soothing churrs for company for a short while, but the closest he got to the lair, the more he thought he may have missed something important. Mikey had been less energetic and cheery than usual, even if he had still talked a million words per minute, he had been more… subdued. The smile hadn't quite reached his eyes at times.
Stepping into the lair just cemented that impression. Empty, much too silent. There was no one in front of the TV, nor the arcade games or the kitchen, and with the better light he could see Mikey’s closed eyes were kind of puffy, like he had been crying a lot earlier in the day.
What happened when Raph was not Raph?
With no one around to ask, he just went to the youngest’s room and tucked him in — he really should start charging a lift fee. A slice of pizza per ride, heh — mildly wondering if they had one of those cold things that helped with the swelling… the cooling eye mask thingies, like the ones Leon used for his ‘beauty sleep’. He should check the kitchen’s fridge so he could offer it to Mikey once he woke up, after that he could go ask someone about what he had missed—
Or vice versa, apparently, because he stumbled on Leo in the kitchen.
The teen reflexively dropped his half-eaten pizza slice and stepped back and away, glaring daggers at him for some reason… with very irritated, very red eyes, which immediately made Raph’s big bro senses raise the loudest alarm available in his mind.
Leo had been crying too, why, what happened, what made him sad?
Raph instinctually stepped closer to him, hands hovering worriedly: “Leo? What’s wrong buddy?”
“Leo...?” he asked as if surprised to hear his own name, frowning confusedly at him for a long moment. “Oh, you’re… you’re Spiky Raph again.”
And just like that the glare was gone, replaced with a tired, tired gaze as he deflated, all tension leaving his body. Had something happened that made him dislike Pizza Puffs?
“Yeah, Raph is Raph,” he said softly, kneeling so he could look at him properly. Ouph, why did Leo look so defeated… Raph was dying to know what had happened, he would do anything to know.
But right now it was not about him, it was about his younger brother. “Oh, buddy… silent alone, silent with company, talk about it, or a distraction?”
Leo blinked and sniffed, frowning confusedly. “What?”
“About what made you sad,” Raph explained, carefully cupping his face so he could pass his thumb under the eye, in the way his pops had usually done to him once he got used to the claws. The gesture he had mimicked with his little brothers all his life. “Do you wanna talk about it, a distraction, be left alone, or be with someone but in silence?”
Keep things simple, Raph was good at keeping things simple.
“I—” Leo choked a sob, eyes growing tearful. He trembled and leaned against his palm for a short moment, before taking a deep shaky breath and stepping back. “Alone, I just— just leave me alone for a bit… just a bit and then… um, silent company?”
“Sure thing little bro,” Raph whispered softly, “you ok with a hug before you go? Just to keep Raph’s tingly big bro senses at bay.”
Raph had learned early on that it was better to offer comfort in a way that let them know Raph wanted it and needed it too, just as much as they did.
His Leon— his little brother struggled so much to ask for important things for himself… Leon didn’t want to bother them with that, which was ironic considering he loved to annoy them on the daily with other silly things. Waking Raph up at ungodly hours of dawn so he could scream at his ear for matching PJ unicorn onesies? Not a problem. Waking him up at a reasonable hour to ask for a turtle pile to keep the nightmares at bay? Nah, let’s go without sleeping for a week, that’s a much better alternative.
Raph didn’t get the reasoning, but he didn’t need to get it to be able to work around it.
Leo huffed a broken chuckle, nodding once. “Yeah, I guess I can… help you with that.”
Raph didn’t need to be told twice. He immediately reached forward, trapping the teen in his arms in a strong hold that also hid him from view. Leon hated it when others saw him vulnerable, even his own brothers. His Leon usually felt better if he could break down under the covers, hidden but with company, or if he could—
Leo choked another sob as soon as he was engulfed away from prying eyes, clinging desperately to him like he was at the edge of a rift, just about to fall.
“Silent company…?” he cried in a strangled high-pitched voice, a second away from emotionally collapsing, so Raph nodded and hurriedly carried him to his room. Leo would need a familiar, comforting place.
Raph managed to grab the bed’s cover without dropping the now-fully-crying teen, so he sat down at the edge of it and hid Leo from view — his own included — with the blanket. Raph couldn’t see him now, but for as long as he could feel the tremors and listen to the broken sobs, he would stay in this position. He would be a statue, a living weighted blanket, a churring sound played on repeat, he would be whatever his little brother needed to feel better. Instances like this one were thankfully rare, but he hated seeing him suffer like this—
No. No that was Leon, that was… focus Raph, focus. This was Leo, similar yet different, he shouldn’t assume they were the same, shouldn’t assume they needed the same things.
“Is this ok?”
He received a headbutt against his shoulder, another hiccup, a stronger hold around his neck. Ok, that was probably a yes…?
He gave a tentative churr, soothing… more discreet than his happy ones, meant to be heard only for those that needed to refuge within a hug. Just like with Mind Raph, really, Mind Raph was a great role model for these things.
It seemed to be ok, since Leo’s arms retreated from the hug so they could be hidden by the covers too, and he could feel the teen curl against his plastron, forehead resting at the spot of his chest that vibrated along with the sound. Yeah, alright, that probably meant the churr was ok. Now, to be still or to move?
He swayed in place a bit. He felt Leo tense up in his hold and immediately stopped it. No movement, Raph’s got it.
He sighed and stared at the Space Heroes posters for a long, long time. At some point the tremors stopped, as well as the sobs. Leo was still too tense to be sleeping though, and he had yet to move the blanket aside, so the calm darkness was still something he needed. He was still trying to calm down fully, still trying to—
“What are you?” The words were so soft Raph almost missed them.
“Hmm?”
“When you’re not the older brother, and not the best student. What are you?”
…oh.
Shit, ok, existential crisis, fuck Raph hated these, what was he supposed to say, when he didn’t even know what had triggered this to begin with?
“Raph is Raph,” he settled for saying, “Raph is… the eldest son, the big brother and, uh, a good student too? But Raph is more than just that. Raph is also his own person… just like you are your own person, Leo.”
Because in the end, this was not about him, but about his little brother. Raph tightened his hold a bit, one hand patting the blanket-covered shell while he rested his chin on top of the hidden head.
“Leo… you’re more than the responsibilities you carry.”
Leo choked a soul-shattering gasp, hands forming fists against his plastron. Raph had felt the same way when pops pulled him aside and told him these same words, back when he explained why he was appointing Leon as leader.
“You’re more than what you can do for others. You’re more than what you can offer to others, you’re more than your achievements.” Raph repeated the speech he knew by heart, by memory, word by word. He had spent so many nights mulling on what pops had said, over and over. “You’re more than your great skills in ninjutsu and much, much more than just a good student, a good older brother, or a good leader.”
Leo was sobbing again, Raph could feel the tears and snot — gross — against his plastron, but the sound was soft, his little brother was still listening attentively.
“You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, and that…. that includes you. It includes that little voice in your head, Leo. It’s ok to be you, you don’t have to be perfect. My Mikey said those are called intrusive thoughts, and that I shouldn’t be giving them much weight…”
“No, no, you don’t understand,” Leo sobbed quietly, curling even more, “I've been a horrible brother. I never— I never asked them, I didn’t try to understand the— their feelings and the like, I just tried to— to make them listen to me. To make them shut up and listen to me, because what if something happens, if I can't keep things under control then it's unpredictable and dangerous and my fault if anyone gets hurt—”
“No, no, Leo,” Raph interrupted softly but firmly, nuzzling the top of his head and sliding the blanket a little in the process. Leo was just a teen, just a teen, why was a kid worrying about this?
Raph knew the answer to that though. It just hurt, seeing the burden of the eldest on someone else, someone he loved dearly.
“Leo, you have no way, no way, to know what’s going to happen, all you can do— you just do the best you can with what you have in that moment, and I know you already do that. It doesn’t matter if you can’t give your 100% everyday, just do the best with what you have that day. If that's 10% then that’s good enough, you know why?
“Because you will always be good enough, no matter what,” Raph said firmly with a quiet sniff of his own, “through thick and thin, through success and failure, you are always good and deserving and lovable—”
Leo punched his plastron weakly, broken sobs now much louder as his whole body trembled. Raph paused his answer and went back to just churring, holding him firmly in place for as long as he needed.
After a long moment the broken sobs turned into quiet sniffing once more, as Leo hiccuped. “I’m still… a horrible brother.”
“Leo, it’s not your responsibility to figure out everything everyone is going through at all times. You guys are all the same age, don’t put that on yar shoulders, that’s a luggage the… the big ones should carry.”
Their Splinter should be doing that, he should be the one doing what he could to understand and help the teens, so why was he not—
He inwardly sighed, purposely cutting off that train of thought. Better not think too deeply about that. Right here, right now, Leo was the important one. Raph could think of the implications later.
“And hey, it’s never too late to speak with your brothers, ya’ know? If there’s something you guys have to talk about and fix up then you can still do that. Everything will be ok, everyone will be fine, I can help if you need me to, yeah? You can always lean on Raph for support, always. You’re not alone.”
Leo shivered and heaved, much too fast at first, before sniffing and taking slower, deeper breaths. It took some time for him to calm down again, so Raph just stayed churring, otherwise silent.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, who am I supposed to be,” Leo interrupted the silence, whispering a broken admission. “I've always been what others needed, what others wanted, I just—”
Leo straightened up, removing the blanket so he could gesture at the Space Heroes posters on the wall. “I just have this, this is my thing , but other than that… other than that I don't know. I don’t know who I am, when I’m not the older brother, the best student, the… son that meets… all expectations…”
Oh, this Leo was… a bit too similar to himself. The realization was like a punch to the guts, it was heartbreaking to watch.
“I struggled with that too,” Raph admitted softly without looking at him, focusing instead on the posters. “Still struggle with it, sometimes. Who is Raph when he’s not the eldest and the leader? I wanted to know that too. For a long time everything I did, everything I was, most of my time and energy was always dedicated to my family. I just had my wrestling and love for training for myself, but everything else was… shared.”
Raph could see Leo sniffing and nodding from his peripheral vision. “What did you do, then?”
“In my case, I was lucky enough to meet a friend that I didn’t need to share, so Raph could spend time with someone that didn’t necessarily involve the family. Her name is Cassey,” he chuckled lightly, “she’s insane, but quite nice once you get to know her. I love the way I can just… be Raph with her. She doesn’t expect me to be responsible, or get us out of whatever mess we get into, and doesn’t stare at me when I cuss! I can drop F-bombs and she doesn’t bat an eye! HAHA! Raph has no expectations placed on him, so Raph’s just there as an equal, not the responsible one. I still keep us in line for certain things, because she’s as unhinged as Dee sometimes, but she’s nice, it's fun.”
“A friend that doesn’t involve the family… that’s gonna be hard to find.”
Raph nodded in understanding. “Before we became friends, I also had Frankenfoot just for me. He’s a good listener, we would spar and I could vent about the things I couldn’t tell my fam, and he would just continue fighting and listening until I had said everything I needed to. And then we could sit together and hug for a while, no beef, no fuss. It was very nice.”
Leo snorted, lifting a palm to rub the tears off his cheeks. “That sounds more like a Raph thing.”
“Raph is a Raph,” he admitted with a shrug, “and you’re a Leo. I know going out in this world is… more dangerous, but my Leon met some online friends in the Jupiter Jim forums, perhaps you could start there? You’re very observant, you noticed the similarities between the comics and TV show! You could write about it and see if you meet other Space Heroes fans?”
Leo chuckled softly, plopping against his arm as he went boneless in his hold, beyond exhausted. “Yeah, I guess I could try there.”
“Just so you know, finding who you are is… very difficult. Takes lots of time, lots of trial and error, and sometimes it’s easy to fall back on old habits. Don’t be too hard on yourself when that happens,” Raph said softly, cradling him close with one arm, “it’s normal, it’s part of learning.”
“I’m not… you don’t expect me to be perfect?” Sweet pizza supreme, why was that even a question?
“Nah, nobody is,” Raph nuzzled his forehead while making clicking noises, which made Leo snicker, “it’ll be ok, we’re fam, we’ll catch each other when we stumble down the road, and that includes you. We’ll catch ya’ no worries.”
Leo relaxed and nodded once, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. “And I’ll catch you guys too.”
“Not you necessarily though, we catch each other. It’s not your sole responsibility to help, Leo. We all help each other, that’s our strength as a family and as a team.”
“...oh.”
“Yeah.”
There was a short pause of silence as the words sank in.
“I can’t… I still want to cry, but I ran out of tears. I didn’t know you could run out of tears.”
“Emotions suck,” Raph nodded in agreement.
“And handling them sucks even more,” Leo added with a deep sigh.
“Yeah, you get it, you get Raph!” he smiled softly, cradling him in a princess carry with one arm as he stood up, “see? You do get your brothers, you just gotta talk with ‘em, that’s all.”
Leo snorted a half disbelieving, half relieved sound, head rolling to hide partially against his shoulder, “you make it sound so simple.”
“That’s Raph’s way,” he nodded, churring soothingly as he swayed in place, “things are simple most of the time, our mind just runs ahead of us sometimes. No need to worry about step twenty when you’re still on the first, ya’ know?”
Leo hummed in agreement, blinking sleepily.
“Yeah, that’s…” a big yawn as he closed his eyes fully, “a simple…Rad thing…”
…he was so out of it he mispronounced his name a bit. Raph got it though, the teen was exhausted.
It didn’t take long for Leo to fully fall asleep in his hold. Carefully, Raph let him down on his bed, picking up the discarded blanket with his tail to pull it over him, tucking in the corners under the mattress. The firmer he was tucked in, the better, this way he would be “held” even if Raph wasn’t here to actually do that. A weighted blanket… Raph should make a list of things these teens needed and pass it over to Splinter, so he could search for them and provide—
Raph shouldn’t be making that list. He shouldn’t— he shouldn’t have to make it, this was not his responsibility. Why did Splinter not notice these things? Why were his sons not going to him to ask for these things? And dang it all, what exactly happened when Pizza Puffs took the wheel, had he driven them right to the bottom of a freaking pit!?
He huffed under his breath, going to the pool to wash his face and, admittedly kinda gross, plastron. So many tears and snot…
…why was Leo so heartbroken? Why was Mikey’s usually bright smile so dull?
What happened?
He went to search for Rafa to ask, trusting him to be truthful and blunt without sparing any details, but his counterpart was hiding under a ton of covers in his bed, either deeply asleep or not in a mood to talk, considering his proximity was met with nothing but silence. Ok, make that two weighted blankets then. And curtains, doors, something that could give these teens more privacy, Raph couldn’t understand how they had gone so long without it. Maybe the next time they got outside they could search for something… once they were ok enough to venture out again.
Dang it, what happened?
He knocked at the lab’s door tentatively. “Uh, Donnie? Raph is Raph again, but everyone is… um… can I— can you tell me what I missed…maybe…?”
A long moment of silence. Raph sighed and turned around, preparing to leave. What happened, what had Pizza Puffs done? Why was everyone so tired and sad and in no mood to talk—
He had taken a single step forward when he heard a soft spoken: “Spiky Raph?”
Oh, he got an answer! “Yeah, Raph is Raph.”
“Come in,” Donnie answered in a soft voice, the garage’s door already rolling up, “under the light.”
Under the light?
Raph stepped inside, staring at the medical light hanging from the ceiling when Donnie gestured to it. It was above the table he had left Mikey on after their encounter with Snakeweed.
“Uh… why do you want me to—”
“Please,” Donnie muttered instead of answering, voice still much too soft. It was the same tone his Dee would have used to say “Rad” and thus he clicked his mouth shut and sat down cross-legged on the floor, right under the light.
“Open.” Donnie gestured at his mouth? What?
“Uh…why?”
“Open,” Donnie repeated, face twisting with frustration and concern as he made a harsh gesture towards—
Towards the broken chew toys that still had some blood on them, resting over a working table instead of hidden away in Raph’s room. Crap.
Raph gulped and opened his mouth, letting Donnie see the lack of injury for himself. He healed quickly, he healed like a boss, his little brother shouldn’t have to worry about him.
Donnie sighed with obvious relief, deflating against his shoulder as soon as he concluded there was nothing to tend to.
Raph carefully encircled his shoulders with an arm, lightly resting it there. “I’m sorry Donnie, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just got, uh, careless with them. They usually help me relax, but I was kinda uh, way too stressed that time, and I accidentally cut myself a bit, but Raph’s fine, Raph heals quickly.”
Donnie pressed his forehead more firmly against his shoulder, silent. Raph let him be, because his Dee was the same, Dee also needed… a silent anchor, sometimes. Raph would be a statue, a living weighted blanket, a churring sound played on repeat, he would be whatever his little brother needed…
Ouph, first Leo now Donnie. Bad Raph, bad. He shouldn't assume, he should ask—
“I’ll get you something else,” Donnie whispered at last, sighing heavily. “I’ll get you something that doesn’t… hurt.”
“Thanks Donnie,” Raph said sincerely, keeping an eye on the smaller turtle to see when he wanted to be let go. His Dee was usually very non-verbal on that kind of signal, he didn’t want to miss it. “If you have time and the materials I appreciate it, but if not it’s ok, Raph will be more careful next time, don’t worry about it.”
Donnie hummed, slowly straightening away from his shoulder. Raph let his arm fall immediately, patting the space beside him in silent invitation. Donnie nodded and sat at his side.
They remained silent for a long moment, just existing in the same space.
“You look tired, Don,” Raph was the first to break the silence, once he judged enough time had passed.
“Yeah, I’m uh… this was a day,” Donnie sighed, blinking tiredly at the wall, “a very long day.”
“What happened? Raph doesn’t remember…” much of anything. A glimpse of Spike, a pot of rice, holding Mikey in his arms. It was too little, he didn’t remember enough, that was the thing he hated and loved the most about switching.
Donnie hummed, blinked. After a long pause of silence, his voice answered in monotone: “So a summary report, ok. Subject One went out to secure the perimeter, because he thought an enemy had triggered Savage. When he found nothing he came back and asked questions. Splinter tried to kick us out, but One said we could stay, so we stayed.”
Why had Pizza Puff’s order been followed instead of Splinter’s? That didn’t sound like something their Splinter would allow.
“One wanted to know what triggered Savage, so Splinter told him that… that he reminded you too much of Draxum.”
Raph flinched at that, even though he already knew Splinter knew. Ugh, Raph had been so unfair with their father when admitting… that. He shouldn't have yelled, he shouldn't have said so many hurtful things, he didn't hate him, he was just... too similar sometimes.
“One told us about that person, so Splinter would stop acting like him without realizing, you know?”
Raph nodded wordlessly. Yeah… so far that matched with what Mikey had said…
Donnie leaned against his side, still staring at the wall. “He imitated Draxum’s voice, it was kinda scary.”
Raph grimaced. “What— what did he say?”
“Nothing bad. They were phrases Master Splinter says too, and that somehow… makes it even more scary, I guess. The words themselves weren’t anything of note, but the presence was…”
“...threatening?”
“Yeah, sorta,” Donnie shrugged half-heartedly.
Damn Pizza Puffs, he should be damn relieved Raph couldn’t physically punch him!
“I’m so sorry, Donnie. Is that why everyone is so…”
“It’s ok, it was just like, a second. And that’s not what— uh," Donnie rubbed his own forearms uneasily, pressing a bit more against Raph's side, "that’s not what triggered the other thing.”
Crap, no, no, what— what other thing?
“What happened?” Raph forced himself to ask, even when a large part of him really would rather not know.
“He compared Splinter and Draxum, I guess. Told him not to make the same mistake, and to… pick the right side… when he had to choose between treating us as sons or students.”
Oh.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck!
“No wonder Leo glared at me,” Raph huffed against his palm, trying to imagine how that accusation would have been received. “That was so out of place, I’m so sorry Don, he shouldn’t have said that, he had no right to say that, he doesn’t know you guys or your Splinter—”
“Sensei admitted we were students first, sons second.”
Raph choked at that, chest heaving as he turned to stare at the smaller turtle, who was still emotionlessly looking at the wall. Oh Donnie… Dee… always hiding the worst of his turmoil behind a mask of unaffected neutrality.
He chirped sadly and shifted to carefully pull the teen closer in a one-armed sideway hug, a loose one, easy to get away from.
Donnie lowered his head and hiccuped a soft sob.
“He said he was sorry, said he was gonna be better. Asked us about— about how he could be better, but what does that change? That doesn’t change a thing.” Donnie hissed, scooting closer so he could press more firmly against his side, lowering his head as he glared at his feet.
Donnie had always been one for quiet fury, and Raph had, inwardly, always considered it a lot more deep and expressive than his own explosive outbursts had ever been.
“That doesn’t change anything,” Donnie repeated with a quiet snarl, trembling in place. “How can he say I’m more than my inventions and knowledge when that’s the only reason he speaks to me outside of the dojo? He doesn’t know anything about me, and he just made excuses when I told him he doesn’t know anyone but Leo. It's not surprising, it shouldn't be surprising. I know he still. Won’t. Do it. He doesn’t know how to. He just advises. He just gives me advice when he thinks I need it, but I don’t need it, I don’t need him!”
Raph grimaced, but didn’t interrupt. Donnie was hurt, angry, it was better for him to let everything out, so he could think with a clearer head later down the road—
“I haven’t needed him in years, I can make the stuff I want, everything we want, I can provide everything he doesn’t! I’m the one that knows how to treat my brothers when they’re sick, I’m the one that gives them what they need, what makes them happy! I was the one to repair the arcade games, and the TV, and Mikey’s music player, and— and— and I do my own things, I’ve always have…”
The teen trembled in place, a single tear falling. “I don’t need him, I don’t need someone that doesn’t bother to— to try to understand me.”
Raph’s breath hitched at that, because his Dee, his brother had said something similar when talking about his pops back when they were younger…
“You— you noticed I didn’t like the pressure, you noticed and immediately changed, and you’ve been here for days. DAYS! He’s had years and he couldn’t be bothered to learn shit about me!”
"You were ten Raph! TEN! You were a child and still doing a far better job than the grown-up adult that was supposed to be my father!"
Raph shivered and gave another sad chirp as the memory of his Dee flared up to the front of his mind. No, please, no. Why… why did his little brothers always end up comparing pops with…
“You don't press me for answers when I'm not well, you don't act like I'm a burden just for being how I am, you don’t give empty promises, you just— you just stay and listen because you actually bother to try. You admit your mistakes and say sorry when you misunderstand and you reach out first; you came to me, to my lab, after that discussion with Mikey, and you listened. You asked stuff and kept at it until you got it.
“Splinter never reaches out first, he just says ‘my door is open for you’ like that means anything, why the shell would I go to him? I don’t need him, I don’t care for his wise image, I don’t care for his advice, he can continue to hide in his room in the dojo for all I care, that’s what he’s always done anyway!”
Donnie sobbed, pulling up his legs so he could press his forehead against his knees. Raph let his arm fall from behind his shoulders and started to rub circles at his back, trying to not cry himself comfort.
“He’s ok as a sensei, but not as a dad. Not to me…”
This was incredibly hard to listen to. The similarities with his Dee were… too many…
“Shell, you’ve been here just a fraction of the time and you’re already a better Rad than he’ll ever—”
“Donnie,” Raph had to interrupt, because he couldn’t— he could never stomach the comparisons, his pops tried so hard… he was just not in a good place to be the best version of himself back then, and if this Splinter was anything like his pops then— then he could and would try to improve, if given the opportunity.
It would be painfully slow and inconsistent at first — horribly, horribly inconsistent — but he would try.
"Sensei admitted we were students first, sons second.”
It was completely up to the teens to give him that second chance though. Raph had accepted that his Dee wasn’t… very willing in that aspect… and just inwardly wished history would not repeat itself here.
“What?” the teen sniffed, tensing up.
“I’m so sorry Donnie,” Raph whispered sadly, it was better to keep things simple, and better to let the teen rest now. His head would be clearer after he slept. “Are you ok with me picking you up? No offense but you look exhausted and… I know sleep doesn’t come easily sometimes, and I know you’re not a baby, but if I can help I’d like to.”
“Proving my point,” Donnie huffed heartbrokenly, uncurling from his fetal position and looking up at him with irritated eyes. “I don’t wanna sleep yet, my head is… buzzy.”
Raph nodded once. “Do you wanna keep… talking about it, a distraction, be left alone, or—”
“Distraction,” Donnie immediately decided, taking in a deep, shaky breath and rubbing his eyes with his wrist. “Stay here, I’ll bring the equipment so I can take another look at your ninpo. I know nothing about it, which means my brain will have to completely focus on it, it’s perfect.”
Raph smiled sadly, but stayed in place. “If that’s what helps, then sure.”
Donnie nodded wordlessly, stepping up so he could roam around the lab, collecting tools and materials over an overbed table, and pushed it closer once he was done. Raph called his ninpo to his not-dominant hand when prompted, letting the teen study the energy and murmur theories to himself.
Raph knew from experience that it was better to remain silent while Donnie worked, so he distracted himself with his phone, finger hovering over his gallery, over the family album for a long, long moment before deciding to tap at a game app instead. Less heartache… he didn’t need more heartache at the moment—
“Huh, it changed. Is that normal?”
“Hmm?” Raph turned away from the screen to look at—
At the orange chains sliding like baby snakes all around the projection of his arm.
“...Mikey?” Raph whispered, putting his phone aside so he could trace the running chains with his fingers. They were still warm to the touch, carrying a ghost of the fire they could command, even if they dissolved in his grasp when he tried to grab one. Fragile instead of sturdy, much too thin... they couldn't be wider than a pencil.
“This is your Mikey’s ninpo?”
“Yeah,” Raph answered distractedly, still tracing the chains. He tried to focus inwardly on his ninpo, following that thin, tightly pulled string that connected him to his family. The silver thread felt… warmer, somehow. Orange, if such a thing made sense. It felt like a question, or a plea. Maybe both.
“This is fascinating,” Donnie whispered as one of his tools drew some sort of chart of readings. “It got stronger. The moment the chains appeared the reading got stronger! Do you feel anything different?”
Raph watched the chains move and slither over his projection like little snakes. “Not… exactly. I just wanna— I just wanna keep it up for as long as I can now.”
Which wasn’t much, there was a good reason he didn’t immediately initiate a fight with his ninpo active, he usually couldn’t keep it up for long periods of time. But whatever this meant, he felt like he should try.
So Raph kept it up, even after he started to feel drained. Going past his limit was like trying to do a push up with the weight of a city resting over his back. He could force himself to do it, but with each passing moment he started to feel the strain crawl over his body, breathing became more difficult, and he felt overall... no good.
Donnie was immersed in his own studies, taking notes and self-muttering with the familiar spark of scientific curiosity lighting up his expression, until he gasped.
“Oh wow, oh wow! Ok, ok, I think I have an idea now. Alright, you can let it go.”
Raph huffed, because the orange chains— they still felt like a question and plea, and he didn’t want to see them disappear, he didn’t want to… to what? Answer incorrectly? Let Mikey down?
“Ugh,” shit, shit, but he really needed to let go, so he remorsefully did, and he could feel— he could feel the chains tighten for that one second right before dissipating. Raph felt like apologizing, why did he want to apologize?
“You’re not looking very well,” Donnie passed a hand in front of his eyes, “hey, can you hear me? Hello?”
“Uh,” Raph muttered, shaking his head and shivering. Ok, yeah, this was the reason it was better not to overdo it. “Um, yeah, yeah, just a sec, gimme a second.”
“What happened?”
“Raph usually can’t, uh, can’t keep it up for so long, but… I didn’t want to see the chains disappear, so…”
“Oh,” Donnie blinked, squirming uneasily, “I didn’t notice, sorry, I was… too focused on my observations. Um, do you need to lie down? How do I help?”
“Yeah, lying down sounds good, I’ll go back to my room to sleep, it's kinda late." Raph passed a hand over his face, ignoring the flaring discomfort that accompanied the movement. His arm was heavy as lead, twitching fingers reminding him of the unfair strain they were under. At least it was just his not-dominant arm.
Donnie turned to watch the clock, giving a soft “huh” upon seeing the ungodly hour. “Ok. Can you go back on your own, or…?”
“Raph’s got it,” he reassured with a dismissive hand gesture, standing up from his position. “Don’t go to sleep too late, Donnie.”
“Sleep, yeah, sure, after the breakthrough and ideas I just got, surely I will be sleeping very soon,” Donnie snorted, much too awake and energetic. “Goodnight though, you should sleep.”
Raph growled half-heartedly in warning, but the teen just muttered a quick “yeah, yeah” at him and started to push him towards the exit. He was too tired for this, dang it.
“Please at least try to sleep—”
“See ya’ tomorrow!” Donnie said in his mad scientist tone, much too energetic as he slammed the lab’s door close. Ugh.
Raph yawned until he heard his jaw snap, and made a mental note to check on him tomorrow. For now, all he could do was drag his tired feet back towards his—
His occupied room.
“Rafa?”
His smaller counterpart stopped pacing at that, exhaling a deep, relieved sigh. “Welcome back, dude.”
“Ah, yeah, Raph is Raph again,” he gave a tentative smile, “what, uh…”
“Where were you?” Rafa asked as he stepped closer, grabbing his hand — ouch, it made his whole arm flare up in little needles - to pull him inside.
He ignored the pain. “Uh, Raph came back with Mikey, apparently we were looking around the sewers? Little guy fell asleep on the way back, so I tucked him in, and I stumbled on Leo in the kitchen right after. I spent some time with him—”
“Has anyone told you what happened yet?”
“ — and then— oh, uh, yeah… Donnie just did,” Raph grimaced. That conversation was going to haunt him for a long time, and he wasn’t even there for it—
…if it was haunting Raph, then Rafa probably wasn’t doing better.
“Raph doesn’t wanna be alone right now. Can we, uh, have a turtle pile?” Asking for help was difficult, but if it was about helping someone else then it became a lot easier. Rafa was probably the same.
“Yeah,” Rafa sighed with utter relief, letting go once they were close to his beanbag. “Yeah, that sounds good. There was a freaking cockroach in my room anyway.”
“Gross,” Raph huffed as he slowly laid down, resting his chin on the beanbag before lifting his good arm for Rafa to crawl under.
“Uh-huh, tell me about it,” Rafa groaned as he got comfortable, also laying chest-first as he crossed his arms and rested his cheek on them, “I hate the damn things, I just can't sleep if I saw it and didn't kill it.”
“Yeah, same. Waking up to find it on the bed or something is kinda gross.”
“I hate feeling it running over me,” Rafa shivered, scooting closer to him, “and I know asking for a sleepover just for a damn insect is stupid—”
“Nothing that brings you peace could ever be stupid,” Raph interrupted firmly, moving so he was half-crushing the smaller shell under his weight. Getting one of those weighted blankets really was a priority. “So long it doesn’t hurt you or others, you’re good. Besides, we don't really control our fears, it’s ok to reach out to others.”
Rafa huffed under his breath at the added weight, tension leaking out like a slowly-deflating air mattress.
They stayed in comfortable silence for a short moment.
“Are you afraid of… something that makes others tease you?” That was a very specific question, Raph guessed it was phrased that way so Draxum couldn’t be an answer.
“Bunnies,” Raph admitted with a full body shiver, tail moving uneasily as he shifted, “I don’t know why, but seeing one makes me wanna run. If it gets too close I reflexively punch it away, but it feels wrong to touch it, even when it's just a plushie and not the real thing…”
Rafa hummed and nodded. “Then I’ll handle the bunnies, and you do the insects. Deal?”
“Deal,” Raph chuckled softly, pushing himself up with his free, strained arm so he could lean down to nuzzle Rafa's temple without crushing him.
“You’re a damn cat,” Rafa complained softly, so Raph snorted and half-crushed him again, starting to churr just to drive the point home. If he weren’t a turtle, he would have been more than happy to be a cat mutant.
They stayed in comfortable silence for a long while. Raph was starting to fall asleep when Rafa added an annoyed: “You’re an idiot too, by the way.”
Now that was uncalled for.
“Raph’s not.”
“You very much are. Next time things get overwhelming and you need your space, just fucking say so,” Rafa scoffed a reprimand, “speak up, be rude, you can apologize later if you want, but don’t ignore your own needs just ‘cause you’re trying to please everyone else.”
Now that was actually called for. Ugh.
“...yeah, I should’ve done that.”
“There needs to be a limit to that moronic gentleness of yours,” Rafa huffed, squirming under Raph’s arm as he turned on his side, now facing away from him. “There’s only so much I can do to protect you.”
Raph’s breath hitched at that, tears crawling up his eyes as he huffed a shaky, touched laugh. He moved so he was laying sideways as well, dooming the beanbag to be pierced and sort of crushing his bad arm but dang it, he wanted to hug. “Thanks for calling me out on that, I needed to hear it. We will protect you too, Rafa.”
“...yeah, that seems to be the norm for all versions of you,” Rafa admitted softly, hugging his forearm, fingers tracing the scars distractedly, “we’re always the protectors, huh?”
“Yeah,” Raph nodded, churring a self-soothing sound, because the mention of his alters reminded him of… everything that had happened in the dojo. “Rafa, about today… about everything.”
“It was hell on earth.”
“Yeah, I know. Raph wants to help you with that too, so if you wanna… talk about it, or be distracted, or just leave it alone for now…”
Rafa didn’t immediately answer, he just hugged his forearm closer to his chest, exhaling deeply. So much time passed in silence, Raph had been half-convinced Rafa was already asleep when he heard the teen whisper the words.
“I know Splinter doesn’t like me as much as the others. I’m too much trouble, too angry, too disobedient. I don’t keep quiet about what bothers me and say as much to his face, most of the time scream it, and even then—" Rafa huffed a heartbroken whimper, "even then he doesn’t listen.”
Raph tried not to sob, this wasn’t about him. He just hugged the smaller turtle closer to his chest, churring soothingly. Let it out, it was best to just let it out...
“I’m not afraid of disagreeing with his bullshit. Why would I be? What’s he gonna do, stop loving me? He doesn’t love me anyway, if he did he wouldn’t treat me like he does. Hit me? The randori fucking sucks, but not as much as the pressure on my chest when I don’t speak up, so I still do, even if it falls on deaf ears, I still say it.”
The teen choked a sob then, trembling as he curled on himself. “I hate it. I hate the way he ignores everyone but Leo, I hate how the only times he speaks alone to me is when he’s trying to teach me something, or when he’s trying to make me calm down, because no way in shell am I allowed to feel angry about something, that’s immediately the wrong answer, the wrong feeling. No matter what caused it if I’m angry then I’m wrong, so shut it! Silence, I said stop, Raphael!”
Silence is a virtue.
Raph shivered and pulled him closer, churring louder in an effort to not cry himself, even as Rafa fully broke down and turned in his hold, so he could hide against his plastron instead of facing away.
“And then you got here. You said that it was ok to be angry, that it didn’t make me a bad person, or a monster, that— that there’s nothing wrong with me, and you’re not mad at me, and—”
Raph hiccuped and curled around the crying teen, sobbing just as brokenly. Raph moved until the the smaller head was tucked under his chin, so Rafa was hidden from view, away from the world, away from everything that hurt. Raph wanted to hold him and never let go, wanted to protect him from everything, from the hurtful words, the blows, the misconceptions.
Rafa would always be safe with him, always safe with them, with any of them. Savage and Pizza Puffs would protect him too, protect the tots, protect the small ones, because they were the big ones, the big brother, the one that was biggest, and the big ones protected.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing wrong with being angry, it’s okay to feel your feelings, they’re there to— to tell you when something’s happening,” Raph sobbed, rubbing his cheek against the top of the smaller, trembling head. “Feelings are not good or bad, they just are, they just are, and it’s ok. They exist, they shouldn’t be ignored, they exist to help you, we will always help you, Rafa is ok with us… protected…”
Smaller hands were punching softly against his plastron, even as the teen pushed his head closer to his chest and cried silent tears, body shaking as he tried to hide from the world.
“How the shell,” Rafa laughed brokenly, “how the shell are you so good at this? A goddamn Rad, in every sense of the word, fucking shit, what— what would have happened if you didn’t— if you hadn’t ended up here? For how long I’d have gone thinking I’m broken—”
“Not broken, not broken,” Raph whispered urgently.
“ — and what will happen once you leave? Splinter only admitted to it, half-assed as it was, because you pushed him to it, your presence triggered it, and he’ll go back to his bullshit as soon as you’re gone, I’m damn sure of it—”
“Not broken, not broken,” Raph repeated as he trembled around the teen, crying freely.
“ — and I can’t take it, I can’t take it. It fucking hurts, everytime I think he’s gonna change, gonna listen to me, gonna try to get why I feel that way, and he doesn’t, he never does. Everything is always my fault, I'm always wrong!”
“Raph listens, Raph’s here, we protect you, we protect…”
“Can I go with you?” Rafa sobbed, trembling in place, “can we stay together? Nobody gets it but you and I’m tired of it, so tired…”
Raph nodded without thinking, still crying. “Yes, together, Raph will protect you guys, it’s ok, it’s ok. We’ll find a way, Donnie’s brilliant, we’ll find a way, Raph can’t just leave, Raph’s the big brother, the one that is biggest, and the big ones protect. You’re safe with us, always.”
Rafa shivered a shaky exhale, breathing slowly regulating as the worse of the tension finally dissipated, and he could huff an utterly exhausted: “Yeah. Yeah, Donnie can do it… maybe it works like a door or something…”
“You can always stay over with Raph,” he nodded with a hiccup, taking deep, shaky breaths as he tried to calm down as well.
“Yeah, same...”
"I'll stomp all the insects."
A soft snort. "Leave the bunnies to me."
"Raph's got it..."
"Yeah, I've got it," Rafa repeated more sleepily. "I've got it, it's fine."
Raph was still too shook to fully calm down, much less go to sleep. He took deep breaths, churred self-soothingly, slapped the floor with his tail to release some of the tension, focused inwardly on his ninpo, his connection with his family. It was no longer orange or warm, but it was still there, still a thin silver thread of hope.
His family… his brothers… he had seven little brothers now.
Raph sighed at that nice thought, heavy eyelids finally shutting close as he relaxed at the prospect of them all meeting, imagining them living together, playing together… they would get along so well… they all would be happy and cozy and safe… so many turtle piles…
So warm, so orange. Mikey’s hugs were so nice, always so loving and welcoming, and that reflected in his ninpo too. The glowing chains were always warm to Raph’s touch, everytime they wrapped around his protective projection when they teamed up together…
…what had made them wrap up around his arm this time though?
Notes:
FANART
Big Brothers Protect the brothers crowding for protection behind their eldest QuQ and this scene of of Raph with Mikey’s chains wrapped I really hope the author will have them reunite soon!! QwQWe also have this scene with Raph and Donnie busted Raph, busted! And the Raph’s sleepover after the emotional day by the same artist <3
Compilation of The 12Bros getting existencial crises Ch 15-16 and the heartwarming /heartbreaking moments of Raph with the 12!Brothers in Ch 16 QuQ and his huge alters! <3 This same artist also shared two turtle piles, one with each set of brothers
This heartbreaking phrase from last chapter, a luggage the big ones should carry my heart TuT this same artist also drew a WIP for Ch16 in Discord~
And the “Students first, sons second” phrase during Raph — Donnie convo in Ch 16 QuQ
And this heartbreaking compilation of scenes of Ch 16, all the crying teens!! QuQ
Author Note
So many breakdowns, so many hearts broken! Lots of raw emotion this chapter ksksks~ everyone is so exhausted, my poor babys QuQIf you want to come cry with me, I welcome you to check this Perfect Angst post for our 2012 family it fits perfectly with this chapter and the previous one, it’s been stuck in my head ever since I started writing this chapter <3
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 17: Everyone has a Secret
Notes:
FANART
Big Brothers Protect the brothers crowding for protection behind their eldest QuQ
Rafa hugging Raph’s head throughout his night terror in Ch 14 QuQ Raphs’ bonding my beloved!!
The heartwarming /heartbreaking moments of Raph with the 12!Brothers in Ch 16 QuQ and his huge alters! <3 This same artist also shared two turtle piles, one with each set of brothers
This heartbreaking phrase from last chapter, a luggage the big ones should carry my heart TuT this same artist also drew a WIP for Ch16 in Discord~
We also have fluffy dumbass energy with a Reality check for 12-Rise brothers bonding, and the 12!Splinter fighting Rise!Splinter and the Mecha Brothers & Death to all Doorframes and Leo Cactus yes you read it right, and this Shredder surprise kskskkss I’m rolling on the floor laughing!!
And look at Savage protecting Rafa in Ch14, and Rafa riding on Raph’s shoulders with a very smug smirk ksksk this same artist also shared another piece (why u so tall) in Discord!
And the ladder fight from Ch 2! ksksks such a good scene, now in color!
And the “Students first, sons second” phrase during Raph — Donnie convo in Ch 16 QuQ
Discord Fanart: LemurSquad: 1) that sign won’t stop me ‘cause I can’t read meme 2) A guide of how to wear your Mikeys and 3) Raph’s Plushie Brother Pile. Discord Chloecat7 1)Savage protecting Rafa! Discord Smartfella: 1)Human ver. of Man Boobs lmao Discord Kracc the Raphs meditating. Discord SquareBrain: Donnie trying to drill through Raph's ninpo, and the Bro that's a Raph sequel <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Everyone has a Secret
(9.4K words)
The Mind Meld was a thing they had discovered by accident, and that Leo and Raph had done exactly once. Only one time, honestly, because even though it allowed for instant silent communication and it was kinda cool and useful for coordinating in a fight, it was also sort of like opening the bathroom’s door without knocking and discovering it was occupied. It was embarrassing for both parties, and sometimes you saw things you really didn’t want to see and were sort of traumatized as a result.
Leo could speak from experience, because Raph had ended up teasing him about his kiss-practice sessions with the mirror and no matter how many times Leo tried to divert it, he had never lived it down.
Oh, and he had also seen a very, very small Raph — three, maybe four years old — whose body was covered in a mix of new and old bruises, staring impassively at the corpse of something curled at his feet. Free trauma, yay!
…free trauma. Yay.
Leo shivered at the memory, eyes still closed as he curled against the sofa’s backrest, because even though it wasn’t his own, it felt like it was. He could vividly remember the exhaustion, the buzzing numbness, the sadness, the pity, the pain and the hunger, as if they were his own.
He wondered, not for the first time, just what had happened to Raph. What the shell had he gone through, exactly?
Raph’s skin had always been covered with scars of different lengths and shapes, a combination of slashes and odd marks caused by blunt-force trauma. Ever since they were tots that was just the way it was, so at first, they hadn’t thought much about it.
Then slowly, as they grew older, the questions would start to pop up.
“I no have them. Why?” Leo had asked once while hanging upside-down from Raph’s shoulder, patting the scarred arm with all the care of an hyperactive four-year-old.
“You’re not as clumsy as Raph,” his brother had said simply before lifting him up in the air, making rum-rum noises as he used Leo as a rocket and claimed he was Jupiter Jim’s ship, and they had a mission to go tickle Mikey. It was enough for a toddler to giggle and drop the topic.
“Mine heal very fast, they don’t leave no marks. So, why you have so many?” Donnie had asked once, with all the blunt bossiness of a four-year-old.
“Raph… was the first to try the mutagen. The formula changed after that, so y’all heal faster than I do.”
“But why you have so many? ” Donnie pressed with a heavy frown, one foot stomping the floor, “scars appear after an ouchie! Why you with so many ouchies!?”
“Raph… was more dumb-dumb back then,” their brother had shrugged, staring at the dishes he was washing instead of at them, “it’s ok Dee, they’re old ouchies. They don’t hurt anymore, see?”
Raph had tapped his own forearms heartily, flexing up a soapy arm as he grinned at them. “No hurtie! I’m fine.”
Donnie had squinted up accusingly. “What kind of dumb-dumb?”
“A very dumb, dumb-dumb,” Raph gave a serious nod, “but hey, accidents happen. Like the one when you were messin’ with the toaster to see how it worked and it caught fire, ya’ know?”
Donnie groaned at the reminder, rubbing the wrist he had gotten a nasty burn at, before staring at Raph’s arms again. “These were accident?”
“Maybe,” Raph shrugged again, “I was very little, can’t remember.”
All the questions Donnie fired after that met the same “can’t remember,” answer and thus, the twins decided that their brother had been in some sort of accident that caused a lot of ouchies and left it at that.
At least until the first time Raph refused to leave his room, even though it was breakfast time and they were hungry. Knocking at the door had got them a growl so deep and threatening it made them cry, which in turn made the growl grow even louder, which had made them cry double -even louder.
After a long time of cries and wails, Splinter had dragged his feet around a corner, ears twitching irritably. He had immediately run up the remaining distance once he saw them.
“Shh, ok, calm down, ok, I will check on Red. It is fine. You little ones go… uh, go to the kitchen, yeah? Grab something to eat.”
“But there’s nothing to eat!” Leo cried, hungry, scared, worried and sad all at the same time.
“Oh. Right, uh, I will be there in a minute, you go… help me put on the table or something.”
Splinter had pushed them — Donnie had hissed at the sensation of claws pressing against his softshell — until they reluctantly went away to the kitchen, leaving Splinter to deal with the still-growling door.
Dad had taken much longer than “a minute” to go to the kitchen, and by the time he got there he was wearing different clothes — long sleeves instead of short — looking pale and exhausted and with no Raph in sight.
“Breakfast… right? We have some, uh…” Splinter trailed off as he opened and closed empty cabinets, sniffing and throwing out the things that had gotten bad in the fridge, and at last, settled on: “leftover rice. Yeah, we can eat this.”
“We’ve been eating that all week!” Leo whined.
“Why Raph so agry?” Mikey sobbed while on Leo’s lap, hugging his neck as he nuzzled against his shoulder, tummy growling with hunger.
That was a good question. “Dad? Why was Raph so growly-meanie?”
“Red did not want to be mean, he just… grew up with a not-nice person, and sometimes thinking about it makes him sad and angry,” Splinter sighed without looking at them, starting to heat up the rice. “He is not mad at you, ok? He just needed to cry, he will be out in a bit— ”
“You mean the lab person? When you rescued us?” Donnie pressed with interested eyes, just then realizing that if Raph “couldn’t remember” things then they could ask Splinter, since he also seemed to know.
“Yeah, the lab person was not nice, that is why I took you four with me.”
“Do you know why Raph had so many injuries?” Dee asked, gesturing at his arm.
“Uh,” Splinter lowered his ears and coughed into his fist, “the, uh, the lab… blew up when we were running away, so yeah. Ehem . Either way—”
“But they’re not burn marks—”
“Anyway!” Splinter repeated with a loud clap that made Donnie flinch and raise his arms mid-way, as if to cover his ears, “the important thing is, whenever Red gets ‘growly-meanie’ just come get me, alright? Do not get close to him, he bites, and then he is very sorry and cries, and we do not want to make Red sad.”
“How we help?” Mikey sniffed, slowly uncurling in Leo’s hold.
“Yeah, how do we help then?”
“You help by calling me,” Splinter said simply, patting Leo’s head warmly, “you help by staying away.”
“But huuuuuugies!” Mikey screeched in a high-pitched voice that just made Donnie hunch his shoulders even more, now rocking in place.
“No Orange, no hugging. Red loves the hugs, but not when he is growlie-meanie. He needs to NOT be growlie-meanie first, and then he can get the hugs. First no-growlie, then hugs. Ok?”
Mikey had pouted and cried out a disagreeing tantrum, and breakfast was forgotten in favor of calming him down, so what little rice remained got burnt. Leo ended up sharing a look with Dee as they both inwardly settled on going hungry, because the thing tasted horrible and there was nothing else.
“I will go out for food,” Splinter had exhaled at last, once Mikey was calm again, “stay together, and do not bother Red. Wait for him to leave the room on his own.”
They were bribed with the promise of cookies if able to comply, so they did. In the end, Dee had entertained himself with one of his boring books, Mikey was making paper crowns of different colors and sizes, for some reason, so Leo got to draw a family portrait for a bit, got bored, started to run all over the place with imaginary cars and ships, but without hopping over chairs, tables and sofas, because Rad always scolded him whenever he did.
Several hours passed like this. In the end, Raph hadn’t gone with them until the afternoon rolled by, and he hovered by the door instead of coming inside, looking tired and sad.
“Uh…uhm, hi guys.”
“Rad is Peach!” Mikey proclaimed in welcome as he ran towards him, offering a pink paper crown, “and lab man is Bowsar, and we go HEE-YAH! at him, so you’re churry-happy with no ouchies! Forevah!”
Go Mikey!
“Yeah! And I’ll be Jupiter Jim so I’m gonna rescue you!” Leo grinned and struck a heroic pose, hands on his hips.
“I can be Lou Jitsu,” Dee nodded while staring at Raph’s arms with an analytical frown.
“Me Yoshi! Bleh!” Mikey squeaked, both palms squishing his own cheeks while sticking his tongue out. It was a funny face, Leo snickered at it.
Raph gave them a teary, shaky chuckle, trapping Mikey in a strong hug and refusing to let go, so Mikey had to play Yoshi-plushie instead. He was ok with it though, considering Raph cried a little everytime Leo and Donnie defeated the Bowser Lab man and rescued him.
Their childhood was adorned with instances like these. In the end, no matter how many times they asked, how they phrased it, or how old they were becoming, the answers from both Raph and Splinter were always vague and contradicting, at best.
The pattern continued like this until, one day, Leo and Dee agreed that enough was enough, and the whole world knew that if they agreed on something the other party didn’t stand a chance.
“Raph, you’re not leaving this room until we’ve talked about this,” Leo poked his chest with a finger and all the self-assuredness of a thirteen-year-old.
“Watch. Me.” Raph had growled, managing to look imposing for all of three and half seconds before Mikey chirped his ‘I’m miserable uwu’ calling sound, and Raph melted down into teddy bear territory and engulfed him in a tight hug, churring soothingly.
“You were sayin’?”
“...that’s not fair,” Raph pouted, but kept rubbing his cheek over Mikey’s head. “I can…uh, still leave and kidnap Mikey for a bit—”
“Rad,” Dee had whispered, one hand resting at his arm and squeezing, “please.”
Whatever remained of Raph’s resolve crumbled like cascading pieces of domino, just as planned.
“This isn’t fair,” Raph huffed a strangled whisper, even as he dutifully sat down when Donnie guided him to the sofa, “this isn’t… the past is gone, it’s not your burden to carry, can’t we just leave it at that?”
“Raph, we’re not tots anymore,” Leo reminded him for what was probably the millionth time, hopping up his shoulder so he could rest his arm on his brother’s head. It was difficult for Leo to open up if others were looking at him, maybe Raph was like that too. “You couldn’t tell us back then, we were too little, I get it. But, hear me out, buuuuut! We sorta need to know, so we don’t trigger any buried bombs, you catch me? Let’s not repeat the pish-push-flush incident of last week, yeah?”
Because something they said or did had made Raph suddenly delve into a Savage episode. He had run away from the lair with scary velocity, got himself lost in the sewers, and kept running away everytime they approached, scared out of his mind for a reason none of them could understand. In the end Dee had needed to use the tranquilizer to catch him and get him back home.
Raph flinched at the reminder. “Ugh…”
“You always help us Raph,” Mikey’s voice was muffled considering his current captivity, but it was still understandable. “We wanna help you too. You don’t need to talk about the details if you don’t wanna, but we need to know the important stuff.”
Raph exhaled deeply. “I’m… you have a point, but I just— I don’t know where to start, uhm…”
“You could start with a name,” Dee hissed darkly, “just for our awareness and not because they would suffer a very accidental, slow and painful demise— ouch! What? I said they wouldn’t!”
Leo rolled his eyes with a long-suffering groan and kicked him again. Damn Donnie and his terrible lying skills.
“Thank you guys,” Raph chuckled softly as he finally stopped suffocating Mikey — who dramatically jumped off his lap to take a deep breath, as he marveled at the wonders of oxygen and working lungs with exaggerated panting — opening his arms in silent invitation for the twins to get their turn into the death trap bear-hug as well.
Leo exchanged a glance with his twin, who just whispered a “defeated sigh,” as he removed his battle shell and went to sit down by Raph’s left side.
Leo shrugged and plopped down at the right, the arm immediately wrapping around his shoulders and pulling his head close in an affectionate headlock that also sorta made breathing difficult. At least it was a warm death trap, there were worse ways to die.
“Thank you guys,” Raph repeated softly, hugging Donnie like a normal person with one arm, and choking Leo with all the delicacy of an elephant’s stampede with the other one. Ouph! “I guess I can just, uh, give you the gist of it? Just don’t press me for details… if you ask a question and I shake my head, then it’s a no and you gotta ask something else, yeah?”
“Sure thing Raphie!” Mikey nodded enthusiastically, scooting closer to pat his knee.
“Uh-huh!” Leo squeaked, slapping Raph’s arm until it relaxed and he could breathe properly again. “Sweet air— I mean, yeah, that’s cool. You just gotta stop lying to us, Mr. Clumsy Accidents.”
“Eh-heh,” Raph squirmed guiltily, “yeah, Raph’s got it, but… Donnie?”
“Huh?”
“Can you swear—”
“Fuck.”
“ — that— Language! Donnie no!” Raph spluttered indignantly, grabbing Dee by the face and pushing him away in reprimand.
“You literally said—”
“I meant PROMISE!” Raph facepalmed.
“Oh. Well, you could’ve said that, Raph,” Dee huffed with a raised eyebrow, and Raph groaned while Mikey giggled.
“Donnie, please PROMISE that you won’t be pressing for answers I can't give. Promise.”
“...oh, I uh, I’ll try.”
Raph huffed “these kids,” under his breath, shaking his head remorsefully.
“Love you too, Raph,” Leo patted his hand patronizingly.
Raph gave him an unwarranted stink-eye before sighing the last of his apprehension away. “Alright, so… Raph doesn’t remember everything, but overall I was, uh, trained. To be a soldier. You know we were mutated with that in mind, and that’s why we are how we are, so… yeah.”
Raph had remained silent after that.
“And?”
“And that’s it.”
The three of them groaned and gave a chorus of their own version of “Raph, come on!”
“What? There’s nothing else to say!”
“Raph, you suck at this—” Leo groaned before he was rudely interrupted.
“Ok, question time, I go first,” Donnie decided unilaterally. “Scars. How you’ve got them?”
Raph self-consciously passed a hand over his arm, looking at the ceiling as if begging for help. "Oh. Uh, um... fighting exercises."
"Against?"
"Fight against, uh… animalistic thingies?” a shrug as his eyes continued to roam all over the room. “And paper soldiers, I guess."
Paper soldiers! "Ooohhh, that's why you reacted like that the first time we encountered the Foot clan!"
Raph hummed in confirmation.
"Focus Leo," Donnie hissed, impatiently snapping his fingers, "Raph, frequency of the fights?"
"Uh, it depended on whether or not I could… continue. Fighting."
"Daily?"
"Uh-huh."
Donnie blinked slowly, giving a controlled exhale. "Your healing is ok now, so what's the real reason your injuries left scars? Changes to the mutagen formula isn’t the right answer."
"Ah. Eh. Uh.” Raph squirmed uncomfortably, tail moving up and down in an attempt to release the nervous energy. “It improved when, uh, when I started to eat and sleep more."
What.
"...Raph."
"Hmm."
"How many times were you fed per day?"
Raph shook his head at that, refusing to answer.
"What happened to the Lab man?" Mikey asked before Dee could press for answers. "Did he die when the lab exploded?"
"...no."
"A name," Dee hissed with murderous twitches, and Raph shook his head even harder.
"Where is Lab man nowadays?" Leo asked much more subtly.
Raph shook his head again, damn him.
“But we need to know! What if we’re targeted or something?” Mikey tried with his best “I’m the cute one, so yield and tell me!” face.
“He wouldn’t reach out to you first,” Raph’s answer was soft but firm, body shivering from head to toe. “I’d know… first.”
What the frack was that supposed to mean!? Lab man was alive but somewhere away? Imprisoned? Comatose? Cursed with a restriction order? What!?
"Raphie, bro, look at me,” Leo stood up, poking Raph’s cheek until he turned to face him fully, “listen closely, I give you my word,” he gestured at his heart with his hand, giving his most sincere look, “I have nothing nefarious in mind— "
"I do."
"— so you can tell — dang it, Donnie!" Leo glared at his twin.
“What? You were thinking about it!”
“Thinking it and saying it are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!”
“Raph,” Mikey’s quiet voice cut through their bickering like a knife through butter, “what triggered the pish-push-flush incident?”
“Ah-hah,” Raph squirmed uncomfortably, “I uh, I wasn’t expecting to see the, uh, to see Ms. Cuddles in our prank war.”
Ms. Cuddles was the trigger? Seriously? Leo knew Raph hated her, whenever she appeared on TV when they were little Raph would snatch the remote and change the channel, raising his arm so it was out of reach from Mikey’s complaining grabby hands.
“Nope, big bro privileges, my pick!”
Raph usually squeaked and ran tails whenever she appeared in dad’s projector too. It was kinda funny, like Donnie’s irrational hatred of beach balls.
“We’ve done worse in our prank wars,” Donnie frowned confusedly as well, “last time you tried to get cake the fridge launched you across the room and you crashed at the wall and got stuck there.”
“Oh yeah, dad wasn’t very happy about the Raph-shaped crater haha!”
“I think I left a shell impression on the roof too,” Leo recalled with a nostalgic grin, “ah, those were the days.”
“Yeah, I’m good with those things,” Raph admitted with a light chuckle, “the Mad Dogs are tough, a bit of an explosion here and there doesn’t harm anybody.”
“Except dad’s walls, pfft,” Mikey snickered.
“So what’s up with Ms. Cuddles then?” Leo asked as he swayed lightly in his seat. “I know you don’t like her, but…. to have Savage come out for that?”
“It’s not Ms. Cuddles, it’s… uh, rabbits, in general,” Raph shivered at the mere mention, grasping his own forearms strongly. “Raph doesn’t know why. When I see one I just wanna run away, if it’s too close it’s— it’s horrible, touching it feels wrong but I still need it to be away, so I punch it, but that room had too many to punch and they were too close to me!”
He was starting to hyperventilate, nails digging at his own skin.
“...Raph,” Mikey crawled up his shoulder, patting his head, “what emotion do they bring? Disgust?”
Raph stayed silent for a long moment, hesitating.
Leo resigned himself to his fate and offered a hug, so big arms engulfed him half a second later. Ugh, the things he did for his brothers—
“Fear,” Raph whispered at the top of his head, hugging him more tightly. “Like I will die if it’s too close to me, too close.”
Fight against… animalistic thingies?
Oh.
Well frack, they screwed up badly.
“Rafa, why didn’t you tell us?” Leo asked with what little air he still had in his lungs.
“It’s a stupid fear,” Raph shrugged with his unoccupied shoulder, churring self-soothingly, “and I know it comes from— from whatever happened back then, and I didn’t wanna talk about it, so.”
“That was my idea, I’m sorry Raph,” Leo admitted with a heavy exhale, patting his brother’s arm in a silent ask for freedom. Or oxygen, he would settle for oxygen actually.
“You didn’t know, I didn’t tell you,” Raph’s hug squeezed him tighter for a second before growing lax, and Leo wheezed and grabbed Mikey by the ankle to drag him down.
“Wait no— EAK!”
“Your turn to be smothered Mike.”
Raph chuckled at that, rubbing Mikey’s head with one hand while grabbing Leo’s shell with the other, reeling him into a one-armed hug before he could fully escape, tight enough to trap him without cutting off his precious supply of oxygen.
He was making the face.
"Raph no, I'm— pfff hahaha."
His older brother nuzzled his forehead while making clicking noises, because at some point around eight years old Leo had told him he was too old for forehead kisses, and his Rad had essentially just smirked and found a way to comply without complying.
His giggle made his twin hiss an entertained snicker. Not fair, damn Donnie for being untouchable on these things—
“I’m sorry Savage was so startled he reacted like that, must’ve been quite the scare.”
The conversation continued as they slowly pried off details of Raph’s “childhood” — if it could be called that — but no matter how hard they tried, some things still remained either unanswered or awfully glossed over. What determined victory or defeat in the exercises? A shake of the head. What happened the day dad rescued all of them? The ceiling must be pretty interesting, with the way Raph stared so intently at it.
What other animals he fought against, aside from mutated bunnies? No clue, blocked memories.
Blocked for a very good damn reason, as the Mind meld could attest. Leo had somehow ended with that one particular memory of a little toddler hurt, with an unmoving something laying on the floor. The feeling of exhaustion, buzzing numbness, sadness, pity, pain and hunger.
“Hey, hey, don’t mull over that, the past is long gone!”
And his own version of Mind Raph, yay.
“If you’re still in my head,” Leo said slowly, finally admitting defeat and blinking his eyes open, “then that means Raph’s fine, right?”
“Dunno, I only know what you know and you don’t know that,” Mind Raph admitted with an apologetic shrug. “But we’re a tough guy, you DO know that. I’m sure he’s alive!”
Leo sighed. Alive and fine were different things, but if his brother was alive then they could help him recover from whatever… whatever he was going through at this moment. It was still better than the alternative.
“You speakin’ with Mind Raph?” Mikey asked from his place on the futon, and Leo hummed and rolled off the sofa so he could crush him, shell to shell. His little brother ouphed at the added weight, but didn’t protest.
“Yeah, guy comes and goes at random,” Leo admitted as he crossed his arms behind his head, looking at the ceiling, “I’m surprised he can still do that, considering. Everything.”
“Ya’ mean I come and go like a Boss!” Mind Raph defended, which made him snort.
“It’s a signal Raph’s doing fine, surely!” Mikey commented brightly, “Mind Raph wouldn’t let him alone otherwise.”
Not sure that’s how it worked, but. “I wanna believe that too.”
“He’ll be fine,” Mikey sighed. When Leo didn’t answer his younger brother continued a tentative, “so… dad said you guys put Dee to sleep yesterday?”
“Oh yeah, it was,” heartbreaking , to see him call for Raph like that, “it was easy-peasy, perfect planning on my part, as always~ you know, Leo’s trademark!”
Mikey snickered, rhythmically pit-pating the futon with his hands. “How did you get him to sleep? I couldn’t even make him eat and it was THE sandwich!”
“Oh right, we should make him eat,” Leo winced, for how long had his twin gone without food this time? Ugh, Dee really wouldn’t survive if he was ever left alone for too long, “and eh, it was easy, he just needed to hear the family’s lullaby.”
“Ohhh Raph’s churr?”
“The one and only,” Leo, the greatest being of mercy and kindness, decided to finally roll off Mikey, getting up with a graceful pirouette that— ouph!
“Pffft, face first!”
“Nope, I nailed it, you have no proof!” Leo huffed as he scrambled to get up, on his two feet this time. “Come on Mike, let’s make something safe for Donnie’s boring taste buds.”
“Flavorless juice, good thinking!” Mikey raised up in his arms and impulsed himself up, doing the same pirouette but with a flawless landing. Pshh, and they said Leo was the showoff. “Better start off easy with the liquid to solid transition, otherwise he’s gonna get sick.”
“Yap, go get started on the drink. I’ll go fetch Dee,” it was afternoon already, he should be at the edge of waking up, and it was better if they could intercept him before he tried to get his overworked shell locked up in the lab again.
“Sure thing Second Place!”
“Don’t start Mikey,” Leo scoffed playfully with a warning squint that made his little brother chuckle. They stayed there bickering for a short while, before Mikey went towards the kitchen with a laugh, and Leo rolled his eyes and jogged away to Dee’s room.
Ok, the Tedd-rustic alarm Leo had placed over his brother’s door last night — before sneaking into the lab to put Dee to sleep — was still there. So, the softshell hadn’t left the room yet. Good.
Leo dismantled it quickly, placed the not-suspicious-at-all buckets lined at the wall, and finally entered with silent steps. Putting Donnie to sleep was a process, and waking him up without getting bitten was one too—
“Why? Why?”
Unless he was already awake of course. It would be better if he weren't softly sobbing and hiccuping against Raph’s teddy bear though, both arms squeezing it strongly. Ouph.
“...Donnie?”
“Why is Rad not here?” Dee sobbed, hiding his face against the plushie, “he was here last night, he was— he was holding my hand, and…”
Frack. Frack , did Dee have visual hallucinations due to sleep deprivation…? As an insomniac Leo could attest reaching that stage wasn’t fun. Even worse if he imagined their absent brother…
“Shelldon, turn off the lights,” Leo instructed, the less stimuli Dee had to process, the better.
“Sure thing, bro.”
“Hey Dee,” Leo said softly, squatting close to his brother’s bed but not enough to be at grabbing distance.
“Why? Why?”
“Dee, hey, come on, listen to me bro, listen to my enchanting, sweet, mesmerizing voice,” Leo laid the compliments thick as he dramatically gestured to himself, trying to make his twin scoff, roll his eyes, throw him a pillow, anything.
But Donnie didn’t do any of those things. His brother was still sobbing, still rubbing his face against Peach the Pink Teddy Bear.
“Dee? Can you listen to me?” Was he still having auditory hallucinations? Sleeping should have made them go away… the visual was already lost, since he was mourning Raph’s absence, but—
“Where is Rad?”
“Donnie, what can you hear? Tell me what you’re listening, yeah?”
Dee heaved and sniffed, tired puffy eyes blinking open to squint at him. “...Leo?”
“Yeah. Are you listening to anything else, other than my voice?”
“It’s— it’s fading away,” Donnie sniffed again, burrowing his face in the bear’s chest again. “The churr is fading away, why is Raph fading away…?”
Oohhhh well double frack.
“Shelldon, when Dee woke up he told you to ‘shut up’?”
“Yap.”
“And your slow-mo protocol took over.”
“Donnie doesn’t like it when sound abruptly cuts off so I made the recording—”
“ — slowly fade away, yeah, thought so.” His twin wasn’t going to move from there anytime soon, not without the right support item. “Keep an eye on him Shelly, I’ll be right back.”
“Sure can do!”
Leo passed his palms over his face, barely suppressing a worried groan.
Ok, so Dee wasn’t going anywhere without a Raph-belonging to keep him grounded, which was ok, easy fix. He just needed to go to Raph’s room and grab the sleeveless white hoodie so Dee could happily swim in it without melting in the summer weather.
Wearing the comfort item should help Donnie move around, instead of being stuck to bed with a giant teddy, which was exactly what he needed, because if he remained bed-bound for much too long he would feel guilty for not “being productive” or “not helping” and then he’d refuse to sleep for even longer. It was an endless cycle if not stopped on time, and a pain in the shell.
“Raph, I respect your privacy and all but I need to raid your drawer,” Leo spoke to himself, one hand already grasping the pulling knob, “so for the love of Houdini, please don’t have anything too weird or personal in here.”
He closed one eye and opened the drawer like he was removing a band-aid. Thankfully, there was nothing but clothes inside the drawer. Phew. Ok, so the white hoodie hopefully would be here so he could just grab it and— and…
Leo’s fingers carefully closed against the familiar red fabric, slowly pulling it out.
Raph’s red mask.
Seeing it made Leo choke on thin air, for some reason. He stayed still while squatting, staring unblinkingly at the cloth.
“Operation ‘Let’s hope Raph comes back alive’ begins!”
“Would you stop calling it that,” Raph had groaned on the intercom.
“Oh, oh, I call dibs on the plushies!” Mikey snickered.
“I’ll get the weighted blanket,” Donnie added immediately after.
“Hey, I wanted that one!” Leo didn’t pout.
“You can have my masks Leo,” Raph had snorted, “Dee and I can tell ya’ masks are better than bandanas anyway—”
“Oh yes, infinitely superior,” he could hear Donnie smirk.
“Hey!” he and Mikey had complained at the same time.
It was just a dumb joke during the mission to get dad a new robe. It was just a dumb testament-joke, like when they gathered to play Zombie Apocalypse and Alien Invasion scenarios, trying to give arguments on why everyone else would perish in a dumb(er) way. The one with the best argument was the one to “survive” the doom and get the stuff of the downed brothers, usually represented with a slice of pizza.
It was a joke.
“Operation ‘Let’s hope Raph comes back alive’ begins!”
It was just a silly joke.
“You can have my masks, Leo.”
He swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying not to cry as he carefully tied the mask around his wrist. If he had his katanas he would have tied it to their handle, but his wrist worked for now. The mask would be a reminder of his failure, his loss, his mourning, his missing brother.
Not like he would ever forget, but having the red mask tied where he could see it was… it was what he wanted, like a piece of Raph was still accompanying him.
“Am I painted, or what?”
“Metaphorically speaking, Mind Raph,” Leo huffed with the ghost of a smile.
"...honest tho, do you really need that? It makes you sad."
Yeah. Yeah, he would keep this.
And hey, the white hoodie was in this drawer too, awesome! The less he had to snoop around this room, the better. Picking up the cloth, he folded it over his arm and jogged back to Donnie’s room. Damn his limited juice for portals, he wouldn’t have had to leave his twin alone for too long if he could just pop over there like usual.
By the time he re-entered the room, Donnie was already sitting up in bed, with the ridiculously huge bear still trapped in his hold.
“Heya Dee!”
Donnie nodded at him, a bit more aware. Not fully there, but better.
“Look at what I found little brother~”
“I’m older,” Donnie hissed lightly, still not looking at Leo but somewhere a bit to the side. He reacted to the bait though, awesome!
“Dee, Donnie, Donald, my dearest, younger twin—”
“I’m second eldest,” Donnie huffed again, blinking repeatedly as he frowned at him. He was looking at him, wohoo!
“This is for you, but! Buuuuut only if you admit I’m the older twi— ouch!!”
Donnie’s palm slapped his face as he abandoned the teddy, hurriedly snatching the white hoodie and putting it over his head.
“Wait, no, you gotta admit I’m the second oldest!”
“In your dreams Nardo,” Donnie said with the ghost of a victorious smirk, giving a little satisfied hissy-noise as he took one deep breath after the other. “White hoodie is the best hoodie though, good pick.”
“With how hot summer is, anything with sleeves would’ve turned you into a green gross puddle,” Leo bleh-ed, before giving a smirk of his own. “Not like you aren’t already green and gross— ouph! Hey, not my face, I’m too handsome to get hit in the face!”
“It’s a pillow Drama queen, you’ll survive.”
“Said the theater kid—ouph! NOT THE FACE!”
“Get your face outta my way then!” Dee snickered, swinging Raph’s bear like a weapon as he slammed it against Leo’s more handsome features. The betrayal! The dishonor! The pain of yet another victim to the Cain instincts of a feral softshell—
“Leon, you’re saying that outloud.”
— that could simply not accept that red sliders were infinitely superior in every shape and form—
“Die beach,” Donnie hissed, muffling Leo’s words via plushie-suffocation. What a way to die! Kinda pathetic though, Leo couldn’t let others know this was the way he had perished.
He pushed the plushie aside. “Wait, Dee, Donnie, you need to promise me—”
“Stop talking Leo.”
“ — that you’ll say I died in a valiant, heroic, impossible feat and not because Peach the Teddy Bear essentially decided to hug my head to death—”
Donnie raised an eyebrow. “May I remind you that you’re an aquatic species and thus can hold your breath for extended periods of time?”
“ — because that’s kinda— oh, right.”
Donnie snorted and patted his forehead patronizingly. “What a waste of space, such a big head filled with nothing but air.”
“Oh please, like your forehead is not big enough to be a dashboard—”
“BREAKFAST’S READY!” Dr. Delicate Touch screeched, probably because Mikey’s voice went unheard one too many times. “GET HERE OR I’LL DRAG YOU MYSELF!”
Leo exchanged a glance with his twin.
“Truce?”
“Truce.”
Dr. Delicate Touch wasn’t one they should mess with.
“Mikey!” Leo greeted brightly as they stepped into the kitchen. “My favorite little brother—”
“He’s your only little brother.”
“—because I definitely have two to pick from, not only one,” Leo finished undeterred, passing his arm behind the shoulders of the irate cooker, “have I told you how much I love you?”
“I said breakfast was ready five times!”
“Have I told you how much I enjoy breathing and being alive? It’s a great experience, I could even rate it in Google reviews. Five stars, 10/10 I’d recommend having a beating heart—”
“Leo. Sit down and eat,” Mikey said much too sweetly.
“—and NOT gettin’ beaten up by your siblings, also a great experience, so I will take my seat now.”
“Finally a smart plan,” Donnie snorted under his breath, sipping at his boring flavorless juice with a teasing smirk.
Leo spluttered with offense. “Excuse you, all my plans are—”
Magnificent, great, flawless, whatever word he had been about to say died a quick death in the middle of a hand gesture, as his eyes locked on the red fabric tied to his wrist.
The reminder of the failure of his last plan, his last mission. The price he still refused to pay.
“...Leo?”
“Huh?” he blinked out of his reverie, “what, you want some of my scrambled eggs? It’s much better than your flavorless thing, your taste buds must be dead or something—”
A groan as Dee rolled up his eyes. “Leo—”
Whatever Donnie had been about to say also died a quick death, as the red pulse of Raph’s ninpo flared to life weakly, trembling like a leaf in a storm within their family core.
“Raph,” Donnie whispered, or maybe it was Leo, or Mikey; maybe all three of them.
“Shelldon, bring me my katanas!” Leo screamed at the same time as Donnie stepped up, chair falling down behind him as the purple hologram assembled and disassembled different machines at a frightening pace.
“Too small, not gonna fit, need space for the energy generator—”
“Don’t go Raph, don’t go,” Mikey whispered as he clasped both hands together as if in prayer, orange bolts of electricity traveling around his hands and up his arms.
Shelldon arrived shortly after. “Here you go, bro!”
Finally!
Leo jumped to grab them mid-air, immediately slashing at the space-continuity. Think of red, think of Raph, frack no, that’s a world of lava—
Close it. Open another one. Raph’s ninpo was still there, he could feel it, focus on that, follow the orange chains, follow the thread, crap that’s— that’s just some random spot on the vastness of space…
Close it. Ignore the blurry vision. He didn’t have enough portal juice for these things yet but damn it if he wasn’t going to die trying!
Open. Close. Open. Close. Open—
One, two, three, four, he got up to ten tries before the blue lightning tickled off without any new gate generating and Leo collapsed on his knees, body shivering uncontrollably.
“Stupid lack of portal juice,” he panted under his breath, raising his head with difficulty to look at his brothers. Donnie’s projection had changed shape so many times it looked like a completely different machine than it had at the beginning, pieces of it still disintegrating and shifting as he murmured urgently to himself.
“I’ve got you Raph, I’ve got you,” Mikey sniffed quietly, hands still strongly clasped together.
Leo could still feel the orange chains wrapped around Raph’s ninpo, which didn’t stabilize the weak red energy at all. On the contrary, it just made the orange chains rattle and shiver, as if it was struggling to hold onto Raph’s shield at all.
“I dunno know how you’re doing that, but don’t stop Mike,” Leo praised, shakily standing up so he could lean heavily against Mikey, to feel like he was actually contributing something instead of being nothing but a pathetic waste of space. His two little brothers were trying their best, and here Leo stood, useless.
“I can— I’m trying, but I can feel him… slip away slowly…”
“Just a bit more, just a bit more,” Donnie hissed desperately, “I’m just missing the key, I just need the key—”
“I can’t— the red is slipping by, the shield is leaving, Raph no, please—”
Raph’s shielding red blinked out of existence once more.
The top half of the purple projection immediately buzzed away, as Donnie cursed a word so colorful it would probably have made Raph choke up a lung if he were here. Leo laughed at the mental image, even as he felt tears roll down his face.
“On Raph’s honor: language.”
“I was so. DAMN. CLOSE!” Donnie snarled with evident frustration, the purple projection fully dissolving away, “this is it, this is what I was missing, this is why the simulator wasn’t working, I’m missing the link tying origin to destination, I was missing this thread. I need that thread, I need Raph’s ninpo to be active, I need—”
“Mikey’s chains?”
“Mikey’s chains!” Donnie nodded, finally turning around to look at them. “Angelo, how did you do that?”
“It’s uh, it’s a feeling, I can’t— there’s no step by step manual,” Mikey shivered, hands slowly parting ways.
They were trembling a little.
“Mikey?” If Leo had more energy he would hold the shaky hands with his own. “Are your hands ok?”
“Yeah, yeah, just tingly. Tired, like when I spend too long drawing and the like.”
“...using your own words,” Donnie sighed, “Carpal Tunnel is an easily preventable—”
“I know Donnie, I know, I’ll do my exercises,” Mikey snickered, already opening and closing his palms in little stars. “It’s fine for now though, just tingly and tired, really.”
“Let me know if you need me to look at them,” Leo nodded. With their healing factor they would have to really push themselves beyond limits for an extended period of time for their body to be affected significantly, but it was better to not ignore it altogether.
Mikey nodded, bringing both shaky hands closer to his heart.
“Raph’s alive,” Donnie’s relieved whisper broke the silence.
“Raph’s alive,” Mikey repeated with a happy “knew it” sigh.
“Raph’s alive,” Leo nodded, stretching up so he could claim sleepy tiredness instead of whoops-outta-portal-juice-again idiocy, “we should tell dad.”
Mikey started to nod in agreement, but frowned midway. “Now that you mention it, I’ve not seen him since last night.”
Donnie shrugged a shoulder with a careless “same,” already busy building another machine with his ninpo.
Leo frowned, trying to recall. Splinter had stayed with him until he fell asleep, but wasn’t there when he woke up. Mikey was the one over the futon so…
Huh.
Where’s dad?
(x)
(x)
(x)
“Why hello there, my Snuggle Muffin Beefcake~ ”
Curses.
“Do not call me that,” Splinter grumbled under his breath, hopping down from the ceiling’s tiles since he had already been found out.
At least this place was much smaller than the Nexus Hotel had been, finding Big Mama hadn’t been too hard.
“Aww, am I not your Sassy Sugar Badger anymore?” The devil in disguise pouted cutely, standing up from her mahogany desk, one finger tracing the edge of it. “You didn’t have any trouble with it when you and the blue one came to see me last time.”
Anger rose in him like a tide, and he trembled in place for a short second before forcefully stomping on it. He didn’t want to think about the dumb, flirtatious front he had had to put up for Blue’s sake, so his son wouldn’t know just what kind of hell he had dragged his father into.
Shut your trap, you cursed Jorōgumo, he wanted to say, but he needed her help, just like he had needed it back when the Shredder’s cursed armor first appeared.
For his family, he had swallowed his pride and dignity back then. He hoped it wouldn’t be necessary this time, but it was not a high hope.
“Not anymore,” Splinter forced himself to say, straightening up to his not-very-impressive height.
“Woopsie-daisy!” she brought a hand to her mouth, mockingly scandalized. “Is that really the tone you should be using when addressing the one that can help you?”
Splinter gritted his teeth at the reminder, the fur of his arms standing on end.
“It’s not that difficult to say. Unless my Huggypoo suddenly doesn’t need a favor anymore, hmm?” Her sly smile was now much more prominent.
He shuddered a shaky exhale, as discreetly as he could. This was for his son, this was for his family, and Splinter would do anything for his family.
“Hello… my Sassy Sugar Badger.”
“Oh-la-la, much better,” she giggled sweetly with a little clap, “now that wasn’t so hard, right? Not for the favor you’re here for, hmm?”
Splinter glared hatefully at her. “What would you know about that?”
She had the gall to laugh . “Oh don’t look at me like that, I’m getting goosebumps~. A bit hard not to notice, when the turtleyboos do nothing to conceal their search in the Hidden City… in my territory.”
Her gaze seemed sharper as she lowered her chin, staring at him from over the rim of her glasses. “A portal-jacking took away one of your treasures, and you want him back. Isn’t that right?”
Damn her. Damn her, because: “Yes.”
“See? Now we’re talking! You want something and I can give it to you. For the right price, that is—”
“What witchcraft do you have,” Splinter interrupted, “that can help me find Red?”
“Oh my, oh my! My little sweetiepie, do you not trust Big Mama anymore?”
He clenched his jaw and glared.
“Oh, such a pity. Whatever did I do to deserve this ungentlemanly treatment?” She lamented, one hand at her forehead as she leaned back in theatrical dismay.
He almost choked on his rage, quivering in place as she giggled.
“People like me can't afford to be perceived as weak or soft,” Big Mama had cried on his chest, as she confessed her Yokai nature, her status in the Hidden City. “Please, fight in Battle Nexus, show everyone you are not someone to be messed with…”
He had kissed her head. “I will.”
“Really?” she had sniffed, batting her pretty eyelashes at him. “It doesn’t bother you?”
“What? No, of course not! I think it could be fun, even! It has been a long time since I could last fight with my full skillset, there is only so much I can do that won’t hurt my fellow actors on the movie stages!”
“Oh Lou, you make me so happy,” she had pecked his cheek, “and I know you’re very strong, but I’d never forgive myself if an accident happened in the arena. Please, take this protective talisman, it will keep you safe.”
He had had fun, at first.
He had had fun in Battle Nexus, had a lovely partner to come back home to, the warmth of a home and the thrill of interviewing his life more deeply into the Hidden City mystic-ness. For a short while, everything had been perfect.
Until the day he decided he would stop fighting, that is.
That ‘protective’ talisman had kept him trapped, bound to the building and thus to the blood and pain of the arena. His warm home had turned into a prison cell, his once-love twisted all around him as he was fully caught in the spider’s web, never to escape until those two little Goyles found a way to remove the cursed locket.
“Don’t,” Splinter heaved a hiss, both a warning and a plea.
“...you have no sense of humor,” Big Mama tsk-tsked like a disappointed mother, “very well, since you insist on unwarranted rudeness. I have in my possession this little trinket, a silly little key, you see?”
She tapped the pink diamond resting on her desk, and the hologram of a small, dark gray cylindrical object with abstract, embossed patterns blinked into existence. It looked old, with a fractured and blemished surface, it was the kind of object Splinter would’ve expected to see advertised as a "super cursed object” in the artifacts exhibit of a museum.
“A key for what?”
“A key for travel ,” Big Mama smiled sweetly, “space-travel, particularly the interdimensional kind, requires an immense source of energy, and that’s what this cute trifle here does.”
Splinter frowned at its image. “It won’t help me locate Red.”
“Not on its own, sweetness no,” Big Mama shook her head with a little sigh, one delicate hand cupping her cheek, “you need to combine it with the right ritual. The key is the source of energy to travel, to keep the door open for long enough for you to cross, so to speak. Runes will be needed for directing it to where you need to go, otherwise… who knows? You may end up breaching Dimension X, and we don’t want that, do we my Smooshie-poo?”
All thoughts halted. For a short second, it was as if his very heart has stopped beating as well, as cold, frightening realization traveled on his veins.
“The Krang,” Splinter bristled, taking a step back, “you have the key to their prison. Such a dangerous thing—”
“Oh no, don’t be silly-nilly, it’s in my best interest to keep such a trouble-bubble alien race away from the planet I reside on!” she snickered with a wave of her hand, “I want them to return as much as you do, believe me.”
Splinter huffed under his breath. “Have you used the key before? How are you so sure it does as you speak?”
“Hmm~ now that’s where it gets tricky. This source of energy powers the gate, but once it closes… whoever crossed the path cannot return without a bit of help, you see? This works like an arrow, you point it in the direction you want it to go, so it forms a gate from A to B. But once you’re in B, you need help to point it back to A, otherwise you could end in any other letter of the alphabet! Sadly, I’ve found no way to return my henchmen back to this dimension once they cross elsewhere, and there’s no use in finding treasure when the loot cannot make it back to my vault.”
Figures that would be the reason she would risk accidentally freeing the Krang. Endless treasure-hunting for her never-too-full vault. “It is useless then.”
“Not exactly, no. I’ve never had something so valuable depend on making this work,” her smile turned into a smirk. “But you do, don’t you?”
Splinter’s brow furrowed with unparalleled concern as he stared at the hologram. Yes. Yes, he would find a way, even if it was a path with no-return, he would find a way to reach Red so his eldest was not forced to be alone, stuck with Savage in front… what sort of life would that be?
One ruled with loneliness and fear. Like his own had been, stuck on that cell for years on end. Like Red’s had been, stuck with that man for five years.
No. No, he would die before he allowed that to happen to his son, not again, never again.
Besides, it’s not like any of his sons really needed him, they would be fine after some time, even if he couldn’t make it back home. Red needed him more than they did.
Splinter sighed in both defeat and resolution. “What do you want in exchange, Big Mama?”
She hummed, thumb sliding against her fingers with greedy interest. “Well… what are you willing to offer? How much does the red one mean to you?”
Damn witch.
He squared his shoulders, inwardly praying for his offer to be deemed enough. “I can give you this back.”
“Hmm?” Big Mama blinked in surprise, as the talisman that kept him imprisoned for years swang from side to side in his grasp. “Oh.”
Please let this work, please be enough—
Big Mama laughed in a reedy, mocking ring. “Oh dear… you clung to that useless thing for this long?”
Shit!
“It is not useless . You know what this does, better than anyone!” he snarled, claws digging into the unassuming object.
She had kept one of the best warriors trapped for years with this thing , all because he had been stupid enough to willingly accept it. To willingly wear it.
“But deary, deary, deary,” she tsked, the tip-tap of her high heels clacking as she drew closer, “why would I need anything like it, when I already have the whole city eating from the palm of my hand? Why would I need bounding magic, when a little wink and a good deal are enough for people to chain themselves to me?”
She threw him a kiss.
Splinter could feel tears of shame and anger crawl at the corner of his eyes. He had fallen for it, he had fallen for that trick, he had fallen for her.
He held strongly onto it, bringing the cursed object back to his chest. “What do you want, if not this? I have nothing of value to offer—”
“Ah, that’s where you are wrong,” Big Mama smiled slyly, a calculating spark entering her gaze, “you see, a cooing pretty birdie told me you’re from the Hamato clan.”
He tensed up at that piece of trivia, thinning his lips. “And?”
A light chuckle. “There’s a tiny-shiny piece of jewelry that’s said to have been with this family for generations. A silly little thing, I’m sure you won’t miss it.”
A snapping of fingers, a different image projected on the hologram. It now showed a crystal shaped like the tip of an arrow, welled out in the middle of the diamond-shaped head. On the opposite side of where it connected to the necklace it had a small hollowed-out circle.
“The Aeon Crystal?”
It was indeed a little thing. His grandpa had once mentioned this was a small crystal fragment of the “Aeons' Soul Star,” rumored to “contain the power of life itself.” It came with a heavy yellow warning sign to not wear it under any circumstances.
It was a powerful thing, for something so deceivingly ordinary.
“What do you want that for?”
“What does that matter? This is my price for the key,” Big Mama snapped her fingers again and the image dissolved. “You can take it or leave it, and we both know what your answer will be, hmm?”
He moved his tail uneasily, frustration, desperation, worry, shame— a mix of emotions swirled in his gut and twisted his innards from the inside out, as he tried to think of anything else, anything else that he could do.
This was not something he should just hand over—
“So what’s your answer? Do we have a deal?” she batted her eyelashes and tilted her head slightly to the side, her index finger resting against her cheek.
— but for Red, for the chance to help his son, he would.
“Very well, Big Mama,” he nodded slowly. “We have a deal.”
All traces of cute sweetness were swallowed by her satisfied growing smirk.
“Most excellent .”
(x)
(x)
(x)
Their conversation after their verbal agreement was short, a quick sorting of pesky details such as date and form of transfer. She was quite happy with the result, and quite happy this endless interaction was finally brought to an end.
Her assistant materialized at her side as soon as their expected guest left, right on time to catch her before she fully collapsed.
“That cursed demon,” she panted under her breath, leaning heavily against her assistant, who half-dragged, supported her until she could reach her cozy corner of web-made safety.
The Shredder had served her well as the Shadow Fiend, the undisputable champion of Battle Nexus, for several months. A being with immeasurable strength and skill, but an intelligence that just barely surpassed that of an animal. He had been bound to her beck and call, and he had fulfilled and exceeded any and all expectations.
At least until the day the Shredder suddenly gained self-awareness.
“You dare try to bind the Shredder with this!”
It had been the only warning she had had, before the collar around his neck broke apart, and a rush of energy flooded their surroundings in unending waves of bloodlust and cursed magic.
He had effortlessly destroyed her Hotel — and with it hundreds of guests and staff — her symbol of power and authority, and one of her main sources of income.
And that had not been the worst of the damage.
Her assistant gestured for her arms, the liquid that numbed pain and increased natural healing swirling in its vial.
Because the Shredder had also ripped apart her main set of arms, and two of her four legs.
She still had two thin arms and legs to her disposal, so her humanoid appearance was not affected by the loss of limbs, but that didn’t make the pain and overall wrong sensation of ghost limbs fade away.
Big Mama let her human form fall, barely managing to contain a sob as she moved both lumps forward to be treated.
She had been searching high and low for a way to recover what she had lost, but the Shredder was the result of the Krang’s cursed armor, and the damage he inflicted was just as cursed as his existence was.
So far the only thing that had worked, if albeit temporarily, had been Houdini’s escape journals. The spells it contained were supposed to “bend reality” but in the end it was nothing but a limited, temporary effect. She needed something more powerful, more long-lasting.
The Aeons' Soul Star was foretold to hold the power of life itself. She was certain the necklace would be powerful enough to counter the Shredder’s curse, enough to allow for her body to not only heal but regrow the missing limbs.
Legend also warned of the aftereffects, but she knew it would not influence her as much. She had an iron grip over her emotions, over her feelings. She could genuinely love someone and still discard them if it served her interests. She was above everything that could make her weak or vulnerable.
Wearing that necklace would be of no consequence to her.
Notes:
A COVER! FOR THIS FIC!! AHHHHH!!! Look at Atlas Raph carrying all seven brothers the details here kill me, I’m sobbing my eyes out!! QuQ Everything about this is ominous the more you stare at it, so many hidden little details, my heart <3 She also drew fanart from Ch2 in Discord!
ALSO MUSIC! FOR CH 14 This song Ghost of Memories, I can perfectly visualize it with their explanation and is so, so GOOD! Listen to it, you won’t regret it <3 this is my fav when I write~
TEB now also has a Spotify list
Chapter FANART
Check out the beautiful art of this fluffy and funny scene of Leo with Raph & the disaster twins from last chapter as well as scary rabbits and the sad flashback of little Raph QuQThis hilarious scene with the tiktok sound, can you swear FUCK! I love Donnie’s expression, he’s a little devil lmao
And Big Mama’s scene with Splinter, it’s so heartbreaking QuQ
And this scene of Big Mama striking the deal why is she so pretty, it’s unfair/pos
AUTHOR NOTE:
What do you mean Raph didn’t have a tail? He totally did, I didn’t spend the weekend adding Raph's tail across all +90K words. Never, never too late for coolness!
- 12!Splinter: Huh, Savage doesn’t seem affected by slamming against the wall.
- Raph: An explosion here and there never hurts anybody. LMAO Rise!Prank wars are something else
Rewatching Rise, it seems Leon is the one Raph roughhouses with the most ksksksk
New publishing schedule: Fridays. Can be weekly, biweekly, triweekly, but at least once by month and always a Friday! <3
Thanks for reading!! See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 18: Hamato Yoshi
Notes:
FANART
Check out the beautiful art of all TEB brothers (Spinoff “A Different Eldest Brother”) ALL TOGETHER TEB Donnie 1 TEB Donnie 2 TEB Leo
This same artist also drew this fluffy and funny scene of Leo with Raph & the disaster twins from last chapter as well as scary rabbits and the sad flashback of little Raph QuQ and also this hilarious Rise Slayder, now with more sparkles~ LMAO
We also have the perfect summary for the first half of this fic! kskskks I can’t with their expressions
This hilarious scene of last chapter with the tiktok sound, can you swear FUCK! I love Donnie’s expression, he’s a little devil lmao
And Big Mama’s scene with Splinter, it’s so heartbreaking QuQ
And this scene of Big Mama striking the deal why is she so pretty, it’s unfair/pos
And this scene of Ch 16 of Raph with Mikey’s chains wrapped I really hope the author will have them reunite soon!! >w<
And this Big Bro Raph tired of their BS lmao he’s so done
And this heartbreaking compilation of scenes of Ch 16, all the crying teens!! QuQ
As well as many more Discord fanart that I could not link here! >w<
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hamato Yoshi
(8.4K words)
Going up to the surface was difficult, sometimes. Watching the city and its people move on with their daily life was an unavoidable reminder of everything he missed, of everything he had lost along with his humanity. He usually tried to avoid going up as much as possible, but…
“Splinter?” April said with clear disbelief, rubbing her eyes sleepily before opening her window to let him in. Her red hair was up in a messy bun, he had probably interrupted her slumber. “Uh, why are you here, what if someone sees you…?”
But he was desperate enough to require assistance. He hated having to rely on a teen, out of all people, but she was the only one he knew he could request a favor from.
“I understand the risks, but I require your help in a matter that simply cannot wait,” Splinter said softly, stepping inside before he could double-guess himself. “I need books.”
“Uh,” April squinted at him, looking like she had half a mind to grab the nearest stick to poke at his ribs experimentally. “Books. Books are… urgent.”
“I need their knowledge to improve my own,” Splinter nodded, ignoring the rude disbelieving tone with ease, “and I cannot step into a library when I look like… this.”
He could sneak into one, but it would take some time to identify the right section, let alone which book to steal, grab from the multitude available, and he would rather not break too many cameras, not with the Shredder in the city actively looking for his family. It would be safer and simpler if someone more human could get the books in a more legal setting.
“Right, that whole situation,” April made an overall gesture to his whole being, yawning in her palm, “so… books. Ok, what kind of books?”
“Anything you can find about…” Splinter trailed off, clearing his throat as he looked away, “about parenting. Teens.”
“Oh,” April’s mouth twitched, like she wanted to smile but was trying not to. She patted her own cheeks softly, gaze now much more alert. “Ok, uhm… there are a lot of different focuses depending on what you need, so what are you searching for, exactly?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, shaking his head as a way to release some of the accumulated tension and frustration. Just like a rat, he was nothing but a rat mutant at the end of the day. “I just need something to understand their behavior, how they see things, how to… develop closer bonds.”
April gave him an expectant look. Splinter didn’t know what else to say, so he remained silent, unmoving.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need more than that,” April sighed after a long pause, tapping at something in her phone before sitting on the desk’s rolling chair, arms crossed, “so, what happened?”
“...why do you assume something happened?”
“Books on parenting are not an urgent everyday thing,” April raised an eyebrow, “and I can pick a better book if you tell me at least the gist of what happened, sooo.”
She made a hand gesture, raising both eyebrows as she silently encouraged him to answer.
He thinned his lips and remained silent. He didn’t want need to talk about it, he just needed help with getting the right books—
“You can tell me, it’s ok,” she repeated more softly, uncrossing her arms.
“April,” Splinter sighed heavily, shaking his head, “I only need your help because I cannot… be seen like this, I can’t step into a library—”
“My dad is a psychologist, I may find a book you can use somewhere in his things so you don’t have to wait for me to go to the library,” April interrupted, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her lap, “but I need to know what I’m searching for, right?”
The idea of not having to wait for another day was incredibly appealing. He had wasted so much time already, if he could transfer some of the weight resting on his shoulders to books carried in his flannel bag… that would be such a relief. A step in the right direction, physical reassurance that he would learn, that things would improve.
He just had to tell her what happened, but… where did things go wrong? When? Why?
“I don’t know,” Splinter admitted through gritted teeth, hurt and frustrated despite everything, “I just know that what I have been doing is not working.”
Not enough, it wasn’t enough, he wasn’t enough, and he couldn’t understand why.
“Ok…” April trailed off, rubbing the back of her head as she looked away, “and what you’ve been doing?”
“Nothing unusual,” Splinter huffed under his breath, confused beyond life, “I’m doing better than my father did, I do not understand why that is not enough.”
His father hadn’t allowed for distractions, no deviations from the teachings of the Hamato clan. Splinter was different, he let them have their TV and video games and magazines, he understood teens these days were a bit different from how things used to be back in his youth—
“Better how?”
“Just better. In everything.” Splinter was sure of that.
His father had never offered any advice on ‘irrelevant’ matters, which meant everything unrelated to leadership or a ninja skill set was belittled and ignored. His father had taught him responsibility, that the weight of the burden didn’t matter because someone still had to carry it, someone still had to lead the Hamato clan, and that was going to be Yoshi’s duty, it was always meant to be.
Anything aside from that just wasn’t important enough. He had never received a word of advice when he started dating Tang Shen, his father had assisted silently to their small wedding ceremony, standing on the sidelines like a shadow, but had not congratulated the newly wed, nor talked with anyone else, put off by the people Tang Shen had invited.
His father had never liked to be perceived by the common citizens of japan, since they didn’t understand the traditions of a ninja clan such as theirs, thinking their methods too barbaric for modern times. The leader of the Hamato clan had been touched by battle one too many times to remain unscathed, and thus had trouble when interacting with those free of such burdens. Splinter had known that.
He should have known better than to invite him to the wedding and hope he would at least speak with him and Shen.
He should have known better than to hope that the man would be happy, or would act any differently than he had in the past decades, when their precious Miwa was born. Back then, Yoshi had perked up like a child when he had seen his father willingly step into his home for the first time since his marriage, once Shen and Miwa were discharged from the hospital. His father had come to see their newborn on her first day in their home!
Except, he had been disappointed to see the baby was a girl.
Tang Shen had been seething at his words, angered to a point Splinter had rarely seen before, so the visit was a short one, and the memory of his father’s first and last visit forever soured.
No. No, Splinter was better than his father, definitely. The leader of the Hamato clan had never offered any support on the things that truly mattered to him. He had never helped him resolve things with… with…
“You are brothers. Act like it.”
…with Saki. He just would tell them to stop fighting, but never do more than stop the physical encounters and told them to solve it, which was as helpful to their situation as pushing them to the edge of the building and ordering them to fly.
"Yoshi, Saki, please, you are brothers!"
"No, we were never blood."
"SHEN NO!!"
The screams, the smoke, the cry of an infant, the fire that consumed everything he had loved.
He shook his head harshly, like a rat, just like a rat, to focus back on the matter at hand.
He had refused to allow history to repeat itself. Splinter had decided to be better, so he tried to advise his sons on all matters, no matter if they were related to their skill set or not.
He tried to make Donatello sleep and eat, his son was incredibly intelligent but he could become much too immersed in his own head. He tried to advise Raphael on how to better manage his temper, having learned from Saki just how badly that could turn if left unattended. Splinter tried to support Leonardo on everything his son approached him for, everything his own father had turned Yoshi away for, and he had tried to teach Michelangelo how to cook before it proved to be a fruitless endeavor—
“Splinter?” April called softly.
“...oh,” he muttered, blinking out of his reverie and trying not to wonder if Miwa would sound anything like her, had she lived to grow into her teens. “My apologies April, my mind is divagating. I tried to meditate before coming here, but that has proven to be quite… difficult.”
Meditating was his way to compartmentalize things. The good, the bad, the nice, the ugly. It was something he needed, like one needed to breathe and eat. It kept his mind calm, his nights dreamless, his demons — his once brother, his clan, the loss of his wife and daughter, the loss of his home, his identity, his humanity, everything he once had, — buried.
“You couldn’t meditate as much as you’re used to?”
“No, not today.”
“Oh, sorry to hear that,” April glanced at her phone's screen before focusing back on him. “How long did you meditate today?”
“How long… perhaps just a few hours…?” he trailed tentatively, trying to remember.
He had meditated first thing after waking up, before looking at the photos of their family session once more. Then he had stepped out of the dojo, right on time to witness the snapper’s night terror and his son’s attempts at helping. Shortly after breakfast the… discussion with Raphael, and the “Savage episode” had happened, since Splinter was perceived as a threat to his own sons, his own family, and that, that mere concept was absurd.
It was absurd, and incredibly hurtful—
"He’s not like Draxum, YOU ARE! I hate being around you, I hate listening to you!"
— much more so when mixed with what happened right after. The words had stabbed him repeatedly right at the heart, more damaging than any physical weapon could ever hope to be.
All of it had thrown him off a loop. He had needed to step back from it, step back from everything, so he had enclosed himself in his room as soon as Subject One left the dojo. He had submerged his mind deeply into his meditation, trying to regain a grain of his usual composure, at least just enough to be able to face the new person— the “One” Spiky Raph had neglected to mention — because it didn’t matter that the weight was heavy, it didn’t matter how emotionally distressed he was feeling, it was still his responsibility to handle it.
And then—
Sensei is your father, or is your father your sensei?
—then another set of emotional blows to his already stumbling figure. He was supposed to be better than his father, he had tried to. He had tried so hard…
Isn’t that your code for: you’re wrong no matter what you say, so shut up already—
I know I’m not what you expect, not what you want. No matter how much I try to prove myself, nothing I do or say is ever enough…
You don’t know what I like, what I’m doing, what’s important to me—
Do you really think that One is right? That you— that we don’t— that our family is…
He had tried so, so hard. He couldn’t understand how.
“So you hit your sons more than you hug them.”
How had Splinter ended up becoming just like his father?
Leonardo hadn’t even finished his sentence. A single look had been enough for his son to understand the answer, and Splinter hadn’t been able to stomach it. He had left the food untouched, left his eldest quietly sobbing in the kitchen as he fled back to the dojo, purposely ignoring the damage the floor and walls had sustained in favor of the familiar comfort of his personal chambers, the only room free of memories and accusations.
He had needed to meditate, he couldn’t react properly if he was so emotionally impacted, he had needed to clear his head. Meditating was his shield…
Do you care about what happens to us on the daily?
But when did the shield become a wall? The thing that had protected him, the one that had helped him continue with his life and move on from losing everything he had once loved and cherished to unyielding fire, at the hands of his once brother, the one thing that helped him carry the unbearable weight of responsibility. He was responsible not just for his own, rat-mutated life, but for that of the four little tots he abruptly had in his care.
His sons, his children, his family, his new life, his new everything.
Do you care about what happens to us on the daily?
When had his meditation ended up isolating him? When did it start? How had it reached this point?
“Oh Splinter…”
What was he supposed to do now?
“I am lost, so very lost,” Splinter admitted in a shaky breath, staring at April’s shoes. “I tried. I tried to be better than my own father was to me, I thought I was, but somehow… somehow…”
“...you ended up acting just like him?”
Splinter couldn’t form the words, so he just nodded, ears flat against his skull as he covered his face with one arm, hoodie still up to try to hide his weakness, his failure, he had failed them all so, so irreparably. It was no wonder they never called him “dad”, when he had acted more like their sensei than their father.
He was nothing but a pathetic rat mutant that was much too distant, that approached his sons much too late. His little tots, when did they stop being his little tots? When had his foolish mind started to link them more to students under the wing of the Hamato clan? Oh, Tang Shen would be so disappointed in him… the one thing she had warned him about, the one thing she didn’t wish for little Miwa…
“You know what, I don’t need to know what happened. I have the books just for you,” April said softly, leaving her phone face-down in the desk as she stood up. “Wait here, I’ll go get’em.”
He was grateful for the privacy as he covered his face and continued to cry discreetly, unable to stop the tremors as he hiccuped, unable to keep the tears from rolling down his face.
Splinter couldn’t stop crying, no matter how hard he wanted to.
“Crying… how emotional." How pathetic. "My father would be so… dissapointed…”
He could already feel the weight of the cane on his arms and back. He could hear his father’s voice, his words: a leader is not supposed to be emotional. A leader should always have a clear head, always think rationally, don’t let the sentiment win over… to feel was to be weak, and weakness would undoubtedly lead to an early demise in the midst of battle.
Wasn’t that the reason he had lost his wife and baby daughter? Because Splinter had cared too much for his once-brother to fight properly. He hadn’t reacted on time, and in the end… in the end Tang Shen had stepped between them, received a fatal blow in his stead, and in the midst of fire his little baby, his Miwa had also…
Splinter whimpered one last time before cleaning his tears with his sleeve, forcing himself to take deep breaths, deep breaths… it doesn’t matter that the weight is heavy, all that mattered was that he carried it. He couldn’t let the memories and misery drown him, he had a role to fulfill.
To lead the clan, to be a father, to be a sensei, to protect and care for his turtles, his students, his family.
He sat on seiza on the floor, fingertips joining so he could…
…meditate…
No, no, wasn’t that what… what had contributed to all of this? But he was so dependent on it, he needed to meditate like he needed to eat. How was he supposed to—
A knock on the door interrupted his scrambled thoughts.
Splinter corrected his posture, sitting on perfect seiza and pushing back the heartbreak and emotional agony, as much as he could afford to before speaking.
“You may enter,” his voice was steady, a firm command. His father would have deemed it sufficient.
The door opened with a creak, and April peeked right over the edge with a searching frown before fully stepping into the room.
“Hey… ok, so, uh, these should be a good start,” April said with a tentative smile, offering three books of similar width — between two or three hundred pages — for him to see.
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively.
Differently Wired: A Parent’s Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle.
The titles spoke for themselves. The third volume in particular looked quite… interesting, indeed.
He passed his fingers over the well-worn spine of the books, appreciating their significant use before carefully putting them in his flannel bag. He could breathe more at ease already, relieved now that the knowledge he lacked, the knowledge he desperately needed, was already within grasp. He could read and finish one book per day, if he so tried...
“Thank you April.” Splinter forced himself to stand up, no matter how much every ounce of his body was begging him to sit down, close his eyes and meditate. “These are well-cared for, your father must be a very wise man.”
“You’ll be able to say that to him directly, one day,” April smiled shakily, looking wistfully at the window. “Reading through these and… actually putting it to practice it’s gonna take some time though, so I guess you could start with something more simple.”
April was incredibly wise, for one so young.
Splinter tilted his head, in a way he hated to admit was a bit too much like a rat. “Such as?”
“I mean, make it simple like, I don’t know… ask yourself what you would’ve liked your parents to do with you. What did you see in other families that made you go: Dang, I wish mine did that too, or something like that.”
…she was still very much a teen though.
“Dang, I wish mine did that too,” Splinter repeated with a soft, entertained chuckle, “but nothing comes to mind, not really. Everyone in the Hamato compound followed my father’s directive, there were not many deviations to witness.”
“Oh,” April grimaced, “well, uh… what about TV families or something like that?”
Splinter shook his head softly. He hadn’t been allowed to lose time with such distractions. The only concept of family different from his own upbringing was the one coming from Tang Shen’s anecdotes, but the way she spoke about her family sounded more like a nice fairytale than anything real, just like the small glimpses of scenes he had seen here and there across his adult life.
Sure, the citizens taking a stroll at the park looked like a nice family, but anyone could behave when they stepped under society’s judging eye. Whatever happened inside closed doors was the thing that mattered to him, and he had little doubt it was similar to his own treatment. How different could other families be?
Ladies and gentleman, I’m reporting on-live from the first event of the Lair Games this year: Handstand Hill-Bomb!
…and then there was that family. So similar, yet different from his own. Splinter had silently choked the first and only time he had seen the snapper’s father on video. A fellow rat mutant, one so strikingly… different, not only physically, but also on the general aura he radiated. It had only been a glimpse, his voice narrating was heard in the background of the video but the camera had not focused on him ever again as the events continued.
His counterpart’s voice sounded relaxed, entertained, playful. Splinter had wondered if the Hamato clan just hadn't existed for that Splinter, who didn’t seem to adhere to their clan’s culture, or have the same restraints when expressing certain things in an... unusual manner.
Then he had heard the snapper talk about his childhood, and he had assumed that the shorter rat mutant was fully absent and irresponsible, and/or had a duality of warmth and cold treatment, handed to his sons in different doses to accompany with his negligence.
Splinter had thought himself better, but.
“Don’t bring my pops into this!”
In the end, whatever the reality happened to be, it was apparent the snapper didn’t resent his “pops” for whatever treatment he and his brothers received. It was more than Splinter could say about what he interpreted from his own Raphael.
And the winner is— ugh, Blue. Whiskers, I shouldn’t have placed bets on Red!
His shorter counterpart also called his sons by color instead of by name though. Splinter knew the importance of a name, he was better than the other rat mutant on that aspect, at least. Not like it was a competition—
“Movies? Theaters? Come on, there has to be something you saw that made you wish things were different—”
“Perhaps,” Splinter interrupted absentmindedly, one hand squeezing April’s shoulder in appreciation. “Thank you April, you have given me much to think about, and the resources I was seeking for my journey on self-growth.”
April hummed in displeasure at the interruption, giving him a knowing look before sighing the rest of her sentence away.
“Yeah, no problem. I hope they help y’all,” she nodded at last, opening her window once more. “Just don’t scribble on them, dad would kill me!”
“I would not dare to damage something so valuable,” Splinter agreed, already stepping out. “Thank you April.”
He stepped into the shadows with familiar ease, silently treading over rooftops and dark alleys as he took a long detour on his way back home.
His eyes paused carefully around every corner, using his pocket mirror to check before diving in, ears twitching alertly under his hood. With the Shredder in town, with the Foot clan residing in the city, he couldn’t afford to be too careless. They didn’t know how he looked right now and that played to his advantage, but after the situation with Michelangelo and that actor he had tried to befriend, his once-brother had gained intel on both, his sons, and the fact that they hid somewhere in the sewers.
He checked his surroundings once, twice, thrice, before finally stepping into the sewers, silently striding on the familiar path back home.
After some time threading through the abandoned rail, he finally reached his home, immediately lamenting how… devoid of life it looked like. The part of him that remained rational told him it was due to the late hour, that everyone was just in their room sleeping. The part of him that had been emotionally torn apart told him this level of absence and silence was his fault.
Splinter halted at the steps that led into their living room, hesitating. Was it too soon to check on his sons…? He hoped not as he carefully treaded towards Donatello's workshop. Just for his peace of mind, just a glimpse, he just wanted to see his family sleeping soundly…
He paused outside the closed lab door, ear twitching as he tried to determine if Donatello was still working on something at this hour, but it was surprisingly quiet. Hmm, had his son improved the sound-proof quality of his lab without Splinter noticing? He hoped that wasn’t the case, and that the teen was just sleeping.
With a concerned hum, he made a mental note to check on Donatello early tomorrow, and walked the remainder of the way to Michelangelo’s room—
Empty. The colorful, patched quilt laid forgotten over an assortment of empty pizza boxes and paint materials, adding new stains to the old fabric. Such a messy room… Splinter sighed as he stepped inside, picking up the cheese-and-paint stained blanket and folding it over his arm. He would wash it and leave it drying overnight, so his youngest could use it tomorrow; right now he was probably sleeping with one of his brothers.
With a soft chuckle, he went to the adjacent room, expecting to find Michelangelo cuddling with Leonardo as they both slept soundly—
But the room of his eldest was also empty. The blanket was half-tucked under the mattress — infinitely more orderly than Michelangelo’s would ever hope to be — with just the opposite side lifted; like Leonardo had just stepped out for a short time and intended to get back and resume sleep soon enough.
Splinter hummed pensively, slowly paddling towards Raphael’s room. It was a bit more unusual, but he supposed his sons did turn to the second-eldest sometimes for a “turtle-pile” sleepover—
Empty.
Splinter dropped Michelangelo’s dirty quilt, heartbeat suddenly beating faster against his ribcage. He could barely register the unusual disharay of pillows and blankets discarded on the floor, and a dark, round insect flying across the room, before he turned around and went towards the snapper’s room, a cold weight dropping in his stomach.
Donatello’s lab had never once held a sleepover, and the other three rooms were empty. They had to be in the snapper’s room, otherwise— otherwise it would mean that they were not in the lair, and that just wasn’t right, it was too risky. His whole family had had a rough day, engaging in combat when the mind was so distressed was a terrible idea, they would get hurt, what if the Shredder or the Foot clan found them—
“— so I understood what happened after that, and I’m sorry Raph, I’m sorry I pressed for answers, I’m so sorry for everything,” Leonardo’s quiet whimper reached him, so Splinter halted right outside of view. He couldn’t see inside, but the words were clear for his sensitive ears.
“I know,” Raphael whispered, sniffing quietly.
“I didn’t— I didn’t wanna believe that One was right…” Splinter could relate to Leonardo’s admission all too well. He lowered his head with a horrible mix of remorse and exhaustion, hands tightening around the strap of the flannel bag.
“Yeah, me neither,” Michelangelo agreed with a soft sob, “please hug, hug?”
“I’m— I’m sorry I tried to hit you Leo, back there,” Raphael added hurriedly in a shaky whisper. “It was too much, I— I wanted to be alone, I’d have left the room to calm down if the soldier dude hadn’t ordered us to stay—”
“I’m sorry he said what he said,” the snapper’s voice carried over, dragging the words with heavy tiredness. Spiky Raph once more, apparently. “He shouldn’t have—”
“He didn’t know what was going on, don’t be too harsh on him,” Michelangelo’s voice interrupted more kindly. “And… uh, are you sure you guys wanna keep talking about this? I just wanted a turtle pile, I didn’t mean to wake everyone enough to… to talk about this…”
“I was already awake, and the first drafts are something I can do anywhere, so don’t worry Mikey,” Donatello answered, sounding much too awake and unaffected.
The sharp contrast between his emotionless tone and the sad laments of his brothers was… hard to process. His tallest son had sounded so bothered back in the dojo, but right now it was like he was above it all. Splinter didn’t understand him.
“Donnie, can you even write in this darkness? You’re probably straining your eyes—”
“I’m using my phone to light it a bit, that’s why I’m under the blanket,” Donatello interrupted Leonardo, and Splinter finally was curious enough to take out his pocket mirror once more, using it to take a peek inside the room.
The snapper was resting in the semi-fowler's position, with the torso raised around 30 degrees, spikes piercing the beanbag quite deeply. If he moved too much it would tear the fabric beyond repair, undoubtedly. The teens were close to him; Raphael curled in a side-hug under one arm, Michelangelo laying down plastron-to-plastron, and Leonardo half-hugging, half-crushing the youngest as he stood from the other side. There was also a blanket-hidden turtle, Donatello, seated in the space where the snapper’s long tail curled towards extended legs.
“Everyone else was asleep when I woke up though… I just— I just didn’t wanna be alone, I wanted to have a turtle pile…” his youngest muttered sadly.
“It’s ok Mikey,” Leonardo reassured softly, leaning down to headbutt his brother’s shell.
“Yeah, let’s just get up late tomorrow,” Raphael shrugged, already shifting to face away from his brothers, hugging the snapper’s arm like one may a pillow.
“I’m glad you’re here,” the bigger turtle added tiredly, closing his eyes at the same time an odd, rumbling sound echoed discreetly, “this feels more like a turtle pile than yesterday’s… sleepover…”
“...yeah. Sorry I didn’t notice you didn’t wanna stay with us, I was— I was excited because da… because he said he would join, and—”
Had Michelangelo just hesitated when calling him dad?
“And he didn’t even stay the full night,” Raphael huffed, frowning with his eyes still closed, and Splinter flinched at the reminder. He regretted leaving their previous sleepover, if he could turn back on time he would force himself to stay, even if that meant a sleepless night with no meditation.
The sleepover… it felt like it had happened weeks ago, even though it had been just little more than a day. So many things had happened in a single day, everything went from bad to worse in such a short span of time. He wanted to step back from the memories, step back from the whole situation. He needed to meditate—
…meditate.
He was starting to see the pattern.
“Yeah,” the youngest sobbed, and Leonardo shifted so he could silently pull his younger brother into a tight hug.
“It’s not your fault Mikey,” the snapper moved his free arm until it curled around both hugging teens, “I was the one that didn’t say anything.”
“Cause you’re stupid.”
“Yeah, but we’ve already talked about that Rafa,” the snapper huffed a light reprimand as he slowly sat up, beanbag stuck to his shell as he shifted. “And I know you can sleep like that but my tail is gonna be killin’ me later, so let me get comfortable and then you can— uh, where did the beanbag go?”
“It’s stuck to your spikes,” Michelangelo giggled softly, sniffing.
“Aw shell, there goes my pillow.”
“I’ll bring mine over,” Leonardo offered, and that was Splinter’s cue to move out of sight. He ended up instinctually hiding in one of the many crevices of the ceiling, and oh, maybe he shouldn’t be here at all… what was the aim of witnessing this exchange…?
“Get the ones in my room, I have more!”
“Will do Raph!” Leonardo agreed as he walked towards the adjacent room, giving Michelangelo’s dirty quilt a curious look before kicking it aside. At least he hadn’t questioned why the fabric was there.
“MAKE SURE THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ON THEM!” Ah, Raphael’s strong distaste for insects, that would explain the mountain of carelessly tossed blankets, his second-eldest was usually tidier than that.
“I’ll kill it if I see it!” Leonardo laughed, stepping into his brother’s room before shrieking: “WAIT NO, IT FLIES!”
“THROW SOMETHING AT IT!”
“BUT IT’S ON YOUR BED NOW, IT’S GONNA STAIN IT!”
“THEN SCARE IT OFF FIRST, DON’T CRUSH IT THERE, THAT’S GROSS!”
“Stop yelling, you’ll wake up everyone!” the snapper’s voice groaned loudly, still tired but now much more alert.
“Everyone is already awake though,” Donatello said matter-of-factly.
“I mean, we are, but maybe Splinter is still sleeping or something,” Spiky Raph reminded.
“Oh, right,” Donatello said like… like he had genuinely forgotten Splinter existed. He felt a pang in his chest at being excluded from the ‘everyone’ in that sentence, he really needed… to fix things up with Donatello, to fix his relationship with all of them—
“Eugh, why do they have to fly, can’t they just be gross on the ground?” Leonardo complained as he left Raphael’s room with a significant amount of blankets and pillows in his hold.
“I wanna speak with whoever designed those things and demand a refund,” Raphael sounded disgusted.
“You should press charges,” the snapper snorted with a small chuckle.
“Sue them for psychological damage,” Michelangelo agreed with joking seriousness.
“Did you know they can leave chemical trails in their feces? Other cockroaches follow the trail in search of food and water, which allows them to find each other and ultimately create a swarm—”
“DONNIE!” Raphael’s screech was comically high-pitched, and Splinter couldn’t help but silently snicker at the lighthearted exchange. Such a warm atmosphere…
He silently stepped down from the ceiling, but hesitated on whether to stay or leave. He would not be welcomed if he tried to join them… he would just mess up the playful ambiance right now. He needed to meditate think carefully about how he could start to approach his sons, to prove that everything would be better—
“Eeeuuuugh, Donnie, why,” Michelangelo bleh-ed, and Splinter could imagine him sticking out his tongue.
“Uhh, let’s not talk about that anymore. Rafa come here, I’ll help you clean yar room tomorrow, yeah?”
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“Ok, so let me shake them off just to check—” Leonardo started to say before shrieking another: “IT FLIES!”
“Dude, why didn’t you check outside!?”
“I TOLD YOU TO CHECK FIRST!”
Splinter could hear heavy steps as the snapper moved. “Raph’s got it!”
The sound of a C R U N C H, that was not… accompanied by the sound of stomping feet nor clapping hands.
“Did you just.”
“Eugh, I’m gonna throw up.”
“What? They’re crunchy—”
“WHY WOULD YOU EAT IT!?”
“Don’t look at me like that, I turned around so you wouldn’t see!”
“You still ate it! Of course I’m gonna JUDGE YOU FOR IT!”
“Then judge me in silence!”
“What happened to the whole ‘no yelling’ thing?” Donatello wondered with latent amusement.
“He started it!” Both Raphaels exclaimed at the same time. Splinter could picture them pointing fingers at each other, and he covered his mouth and tried not to laugh at just how ridiculous the whole situation was.
“Ok, so there’s no more snacks clinging to these,” Leonardo’s voice was obviously teasing, accompanied by the sound of a blanket flapping in the air.
“I hate y’all."
“Love you too, Raph!” Michelangelo snickered.
“Ok, it’s— pff haha, it’s kinda late,” the snapper said lightheartedly, “so let me get comfy first and then you can pick a— Mikey!”
“I pick the beanbag!”
“Let me lay down first, you’re gonna spill the filling—”
“I used shredded cotton instead of filler foam beads so it wouldn’t spill so easily, accounting for this very scenario.”
“Oh, thanks Donnie, that was very thoughtful of you.”
“You’re awesome Donnie!” Michelangelo agreed delightedly.
“No way in shell you expect me to ignore the whole “let’s EAT a fucking cockroach— ”
“Language.”
“ — that’s obviously a good idea, bullcrap!”
“I mean, it sort of pales against the things Mikey makes sometimes.”
“Hey, don’t judge my cooking art!”
“He ate. A. Cockroach!”
“Dude, do you wanna know what other things I’ve eaten?” A short pause of silence. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Let it rest, Rafa.”
“Actually, I do wanna know,” Donnatello sounded intrigued, “like, what’s the sturdiest thing you’ve eaten without getting sick? How strong your stomach acid is—”
“Guys, it’s so late it’s not even funny, we’re all gonna die tomorrow.”
“Leo’s right, we should sleep.”
“...I still wanna know.”
“I’mma tell you tomorrow Don, tomorrow. Ok, so Mikey is ouph , already hitting my face—”
“Sorry, the beanbag moved forward when you laid down.”
“Which is why I told ya to wait until I was comfy—”
“I can sleep here.”
“ — so you — oh, yeah, sure Rafa. I’mma trap you in my sleep though, you ok with that?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok then, get cozy. Leo?”
“Uh, what are the odds of me dying if I sleep here?”
“I’m not gonna crush you, I usually don’t move when we turtle pile—”
“This works for me.”
“ — so you can — huh, good for you Donnie. You can move away if it becomes too much.”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, so everyone’s ready?”
“Yeah, let me just hand over the blankets and we’re good.”
Splinter ended up waiting for the voices to die down, until the sound of snores and the deep motor-like rumble were the only thing resounding in the room, along with Donatello’s soft mutterings of calculations and mechanic functions.
He carefully leaned forward, peeking into the room once more.
Spiky Raph curled at the center of the pile, laying down his plastron with one pillow over his forearm, where he rested his chin. The shell-impaled beanbag served as a mattress for Michelangelo to sleep upon, as the youngest stretched in his sleep and extended an arm, accidentally slapping the top of the snapper’s head. The older turtle continued rumbling, sleeping unperturbed.
Raphael was under an arm, facing away from his brothers with an assortment of large pillows serving to cushion his body from the hard concrete. He looked oddly comfortable under the added weight of the large arm, all things considered.
Leonardo was cuddled in the space where the tail curled towards the snapper’s leg, one pillow protecting him from the rough edges of the scaled skin, a large blanket covering the rest of his body as he snored. The teen looked… incredibly small by virtue of comparison, somehow even younger than he was. More like a child than a teen.
Donatello was resting his back against the snapper’s knee, in the space between his two older brothers, muttering softly to himself as he scribbled in his notebook. He seemed unbothered by the lack of proper illumination of the room.
Splinter’s chest fluttered with longing. He wanted to be part of that peaceful, lighthearted picture.
He had been, just the prior night. He had been part of their family sleepover, and he had willingly left them in favor of meditation .
He patted the bag carrying the books, to reassure himself that he would be able to be part of that again, one day. For now, he should start reading, so he could prepare for the day ahead.
He had many things to do.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Raph’s whole body felt heavy, like he was suddenly more lead than turtle. Getting his fingers to twitch seemed like too much effort to be worth it. Was this how his pops felt, on his bad days?
Raph had promised himself that he would never get to that stage. He couldn’t, who would look after his brothers if he was ever too tired to rise from bed? He couldn’t afford to have a day-in, didn’t have that luxury…
It shouldn’t be his responsibility. It shouldn’t be. He should be able to rest and have a lazy day every once in a while. He could take a day off with his family sometimes, back home…
But in this alternate dimension, he couldn’t. He was the big brother and there were many things going on, so it was his responsibility for now. He should… move. He should move, sometime soon. His tail moved up and down.
He wasn’t the one to move it though.
Actually, now that he paid attention, he could feel smaller hands on his shell and arms too.
“Ok, so this is not working. Raph, go to that side and try to roll him this way—”
“We’re gonna need two to push him Leo, so get your shell here and help me.”
“If we roll him that would put him shell-down though,” Mikey commented.
Raph could feel little hands and arms trying to push and pull him this way and that. What were they even trying to do?
“Yeah, not very stable for moving him. We need to keep him plastron-down so he doesn’t fall off the rolling platform.”
Oh, that’s what they were doing.
“The Spiky-bro rolley,” Mikey dubbed with a tone of finality.
“The Spiky-bro rolley,” Donnie immediately corrected. “Ok, so come to this side and try to lift him up, just enough so I can slide this under him—”
Raph pushed himself up to help them, blinking his eyes open. “Like this?”
“...yeah, but you’re not supposed to help,” Donnie scoffed.
“We’re practicing for when you’re down Spiky Raph,” Mikey added, pushing his shoulder down until he laid on the floor again.
“Yeah, just stay there and don’t move, we’ll figure it out,” Leo said, patting his shell distractedly. Huh, they must have removed the impaled beanbag at some point.
“Uh, but I’m too heavy?”
“Don’t look down on us,” Rafa warned gruffly, “we’ll make it work.”
“Yeah! Just stay there, you can go back to sleep if you wanna!”
Raph hummed and stayed still, trying not to giggle when two pairs of smaller hands grabbed his side to lift him a bit.
“Dude stop moving your tail, you’re unconscious, remember?”
“It kinda tickles,” Raph snickered under his breath, but tried to stay still as they let him down over the metallic platform. It was a small platform though, just barely covering his stomach.
“Ok, so now I can extend it all the way.”
“Uh, did you consider the Turtle Man Boobs?”
“The what—”
“Ouph!” Raph yelped when the platform under his belly grew larger, hitting his chest and jaw so he was forced to look upward, as well as bumping against his knees and feet.
“Oww, tssss!” Donnie grimaced. “Ok, so that wasn’t the best idea…”
“Turtle Man Boobs!?” Leo squeaked in a strangled voice like he was trying real hard not to laugh. Rafa didn’t even bother, he was laughing and wheezing on fours, hitting the floor with one fist repeatedly.
“Ouch, oww, my turtle man boobs,” Raph sniffed, trembling with the effort it took not to laugh, “and chin, and knees, and feet… Donnie, if your idea is to wake me up via pain, please don’t—”
“Yeah, my bad, sorry,” Donnie admitted, patting his head apologetically but with an entertained smile, “I’ll extend it first next time, and then we move you.”
“Mikey why, why are you like this,” Leo was now chuckling while leaning against the wall, one hand on his belly.
“It’s not my fault, Pizza Puffs started it!” Mikey defended with puffed cheeks. “He said we looked like eleven-year-olds because our plastron is flat!”
“Who the shell is Pizza Puffs—” Rafa started to say.
“So we were shamed for being flat-chested? Rude.”
“Donnie!” Leo wheezed in a high-pitched voice, collapsing on his back as he laughed, rolling back and forth on his shell.
Raph snorted and covered his face, tail wagging happily from one side to the next.
“Wait, so Pizza Puffs is the soldier dude?”
“Retired,” Raph clarified under his breath, still snickering, because that piece was important.
“Yeah, Pizza Puffs said I could call him that!”
“Only you Mikey, only you,” Donnie snorted, patting his brother’s back.
“Why Pizza Puffs?” Rafa sat down with a grin, grabbing Leo’s ankle and spinning him around just to bother him.
“Raaaaph!”
“Why not Pizza Puffs?” Oh, Mikey was acting like he had named him. What a nice kid, Raph didn’t feel like telling that particular story right now so he was beyond relieved.
“Ugh, I’ll never understand how your mind works Mikey.”
The teens bickered about Mikey’s nicknaming skills around him, because Mikey…
Mikey’s ninpo…
Raph opened and closed his palms, noting his bad arm was feeling normal now. He wondered how his Mikey had managed to reach out to him… were his brothers getting closer to finding him, somehow?
He smiled to himself at the mere notion, rolling out of the Spiky-bro rolley — pfft — while he marveled at how he could feel his family just a tad bit closer now. Like the thread of the spiderweb had turned into that of thick hair, it was still too weak compared to how it should be, but it was a small improvement all the same.
His stomach growled, reminding him that his last snack was crunchy, small, and several hours ago. Actually, considering the hour, he was surprised all teens were still gathered in his room, instead of in the kitchen getting something to eat.
“Ain’t you guys hungry?”
The lighthearted banter immediately died down. Rafa and Mikey exchanged a glance, Leo hummed and looked away from him, and Donnie was suddenly too busy folding the rolley back into portable size.
“We, uh… we don’t know how… uh, you know,” Mikey answered after a long pause, with a careful shrug and a grimace for smile.
…right, that whole situation.
He exhaled heavily through his nose, tail flicking uneasily as he turned to look outside the room, thinking about the only family member that was not in his room right now.
Their Splinter seemed like… a good person. A dad that, unlike his own, had never taken a five-year-break from parenting; someone that had kept trying from the very beginning and up to this day.
"Sensei admitted we were students first, sons second.”
That was something his pops never did though.
Raph felt a growl crawling up from his chest and decidedly pushed it back down, because that was unfair. He didn’t know anything about this Splinter. He didn’t know about his past, about why he was the way he was, he had no room to judge, it wasn’t his place.
But the lack of knowledge made it that much harder to be understanding and forgiving, very differently of how he could be with his own pops—
…oh. Was this how Dee felt? Raph had to admit that, without knowledge on where it came from, the actions of his pops could come across as… uhm....
“Your Splinter may be neglectful, abusive—”
But it wasn’t his fault! Pops used to be Lou Jitsu, a Hollywood celebrity turned into unwilling Battle Nexus Champion, then Draxum’s prisoner, then the whole mutation thing… it wasn’t his fault, a lot of terrible things just happened to him one after the other without any breaks!
“I’m not afraid, and I’m not mad at you. You were just scared Red, it’s ok to be scared.”
It was ok to have bad days, ok to struggle to find the best way to handle… handle everything that had happened to him. His pops didn’t have anyone else to rely on, no one to carry the weight of the past, his mind was wired differently than Raph’s own, he never spoke about that stuff with any of them, and he didn’t have any other friends either—
“Spiky Raph?”
He scrubbed his face with his palms. Ugh, he wasn’t getting anywhere.
“I don’t know your Splinter,” Raph admitted softly, frowning worriedly at the room’s entrance, “I don’t know what to… expect.”
“Me neither, and we’ve lived together for fifteen years,” Rafa huffed softly without any real bite, crossing his arms.
“I think… I think we can trust him to try,” Leo said tentatively, rubbing his arm and leaning away from Rafa’s narrowing eyes. “I just uh, don’t know how that’s gonna happen, so yeah.”
“He uh, probably won’t be very good at first,” Mikey winced, “he’s gotta learn and stuff, from somewhere, somehow… maybe he’ll be willing to learn how to use a phone so he can use the internet…?”
“I don’t care,” Donnie shrugged, finally picking up the fully-folded rolley, and Raph tried not to flinch at how sincere that sounded. “And we can’t stay here forever, so let’s just go get it over with.”
“Donnie…” Leo’s voice was heartbroken.
“Or you guys can, I guess. I still have stuff to do in the lab—”
“Donnie,” Mikey extended an arm, but his brother stepped away, out of reach.
“ — and April wants to talk with me about something, so don’t wait for me to have breakfast. I’ll grab something later.”
“Donnie—” Raph’s plea died midway as the turtle turned around and left with long strides, not meeting anyone’s gaze.
A smaller hand patted his arm, and he looked down to give the youngest a worried hum.
“I’ll bring him a plate later,” Mikey reassured with a sad smile. “Let’s go make breakfast?”
Raph sighed and nodded. Truthfully he didn’t want to face their Splinter, on purpose or not the man reminded him a bit too much of Draxum, quite often, and the whole “students first, sons second” thing was hard to forgive, given just how many tears Raph had to face last night.
He wanted to smack him with a frying pan.
He wanted to apologize for saying so many hurtful things, for everything that happened with him and Savage and Puffs.
He wanted to see Splinter apologize to his sons, wanted to see him try to be better.
He also wanted to know more about his past, about what made this Splinter act this way. If he was anything like his pops, then… then even if it couldn’t justify things, it could at least give a reason why. It was something, as small as it may be. A first step to at least try to cross the bridge and mend the strained bonds.
“Yeah, let’s go make breakfast,” Raph agreed at last, standing up and forcing himself to walk towards the room’s entrance.
Nobody followed.
“...hey, wanna ride on my shoulders? Maybe you can learn to cook better that way,” he offered, turning back around to step towards the unmoving teens.
“You know what, sure why not,” Rafa agreed with an attempt at a smirk, already hopping up his back, “might as well try to stab the toaster from above—”
“Rafa,” he growled playfully, and his counterpart just snorted and sat on the space between shell and neck.
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t actually stab anything,” Leo snickered, looking contemplative at how exactly he should climb up. Now that Raph thought of it, this was the first time Leo would be getting a big-bro lift— when he wasn’t crying his soul out, that is.
Raph picked him by the shell, mostly because he looked like he would never move otherwise, and flung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Ouph, hey!"
"Yar welcome."
"Come on Leo, just move to the shell," Rafa instructed, voice gloating as he crossed his arms and rested them over Raph's head.
"I was going to, I just needed more time!" Leo defended, already shifting so he could properly use the spikes of his shell to keep himself up, just like his brothers usually did.
Mikey snickered, dancing with light feet towards the room's entrance. "You were gonna teach me new recipes!"
“You mean edible recipes,” Rafa snorted.
“Hey!”
"Yeah, let’s cook something for these bozos—"
“Hey!” Both brothers piggy-riding complained at the same time, and Raph snorted.
Yeah, they would be fine. Whatever the day ahead made them face, at least they would be facing it together.
Notes:
Check out the “Inspired by” works below!! There’s now this collection for TEB Extended Universe / AU / Spinoffs both Lemurz and Alicat (Li) are incredibly talented writers and I’m OBSESSED with their stories!!!/pos >w<
CHAPTER FANART
Fluffy fluff with all the Turtle piles of last chapter the 12!brothers look so small and cute! <3 you really should follow this Tumblr artist, just saying~ ;P aaaand the churring turtle pile! Ch 18 fluffAUTHOR NOTE
Lmao I think I took some inspiration from Naruto when writing Splinter's backstory here ksksks woops. I just couldn't understand why the whole clan would rebel against the Hamatos so quickly (S3E20) just because Shredder told his tragic backstory (?). I think they just were fed up with serving under Splinter's father, who refused anything modern and had much too-high expectations for discipline and perfection, etc. etc. so the Hamato clan chose to follow Oroku Saki, convert into the Foot clan, in hopes that things would be better. They just changed one dictator for another, basically QuQ I also hc this is the main reason most of the skilled ones end up deflecting/ escaping/ executed for treason and eventually Shredder starts to use the common folk “recruited” in Bradford’s popular dojos (and later on robots, but yeah).Also, disclaimer that the books that April gives to Splinter are IRL books (200-300pg each) but I’ve not read them, they’re NOT a recommendation, they just had obvious titles so I selected them so the readers could understand what Splinter would be educating himself on. I’m wishing the best of luck for our learning resident ratdad… kinda wish he could bounce ideas with R!Splinter now, they both are trying so hard, they could support each other <3
I like the duality of Raph’s “I should’ve left the Sleepover” vs Splinter’s “I should’ve stayed” regret. It’s a perfect mirror of where they’re standing at the moment, whether they like it or not.I still can’t believe Ch 14 — 18 are happening within 36hrs like jfc no wonder everyone is so tired. It’s ok, things will slowly get better from here on out, wohoo~
Thanks for reading! And all the hugs and cuddles to you if you take the time to interact with this story (comments, kudos, fanart, discord, Tumblr, inspired writting, etc.) It’s such a pleasure to be able to meet so many content creators, and listen to so many interpretations, ideas, questions, opinions, it’s just!!! Good Soup!! Thank you all! >w<See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 19: Blurring
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Note: Inaccurate method of broken tile removal.
Blurring
(10K words)
Turns out, they didn’t have to prepare anything in the kitchen, breakfast was already done.
“ — and I said I don’t want it, drop it already,” Donnie groaned as he pushed the offered plate aside, “go lock yourself up or something, that’s what you’re good at.”
Oww, Donnie!
Splinter flinched like he had been physically struck, ears pressed to his skull as he took the plate back to his chest, almost in a cradling gesture.
Raph had half a mind to silently step back into his room, to act like they hadn't just witnessed that, but before he could tactfully retreat Mikey skipped forward.
“You made breakfast! What did you do, something tasty?” Oddly enough Mikey abruptly stopped moving as if just catching himself, so he ended up standing awkwardly right in the middle of both groups.
Splinter turned to face the smallest turtle, which gave Donnie the opportunity to march away and slam close the lab’s door. Oh boy.
The rat mutant grimaced at the sound for a short second, before straightening up to full height and clearing his throat.
“Michelangelo,” Splinter whispered, obviously relieved at the olive branch as the worst of tension diffused. It seemed all Mikeys shared that superpower. “Yes, I prepared… sandwiches. Would you be so inclined as to eat together this fine morning?”
“I’m uh, yeah! Yeah,” Mikey covered up his hesitation and gave a small smile, stealing a quick glance at them, “but, uh…”
Raph tried not to squirm uneasily under the pleading "don't leave me alone" gaze, but his tail stumping on the ground probably gave him away regardless.
“I… guess I could,” Leo agreed tentatively, much too still over his shoulder. Raph couldn’t turn to see his expression, but he could picture a wince for a smile all too well.
“Drop me off in my room,” Rafa denied with a soft, disbelieving scoff, grabbing the tails of his red mask and tugging urgently. Had the situation not been what it was, Raph may have playfully neighed like a horse, but—
“Raphael…?”
“Don’t.”
— but things were like they were, so.
“Um, Leo and I will catch up with you in a bit,” Raph compromised with a smile that probably looked more like a grimace. “It was a long night, I’mma drop Rafa in his room so he can rest a bit more.”
Nobody was fooled by the excuse, but nobody questioned it either, and that was all Raph needed to turn around and stride away with long steps.
“I’ll help you put the table,” Mikey chirped with feigned cheer. Raph could hear the rat mutant sigh and shuffle along, but refused to turn around to confirm it. He didn’t want to see… to see what? Mikey’s pained fake smile? Splinter’s hurt gaze? The echo of Donnie’s anger and Rafa’s defensive denial, not ready to get their hopes up quite yet…?
Rafa slumped over his head as soon as he stepped into the room, deflating like a balloon as the false bravado completely leaked out. “You said— you said you were gonna help me clean my room.”
It sounded like an accusation, but Raph could hear it like the plea it truly was. Truthfully he wanted to stay… but he also couldn’t let the other two brothers alone, not when they all felt so uncertain about what they could expect from their Splinter, not when Mikey looked like that...
He wished he could tap into his ninpo to make clones, so he could be in two different places at the same time, but for now he had no option left but to pick, and he still needed to speak with Splinter himself.
“Yeah, lemme take a quick peek now, and we’ll clean it more in-depth later,” Raph tried to meet in the middle, already bending down to pick up the bed, which was the most likely hiding spot. He stomped upon the single cockroach that tried to scurry away, ignoring the way Rafa tensed and cursed under his breath.
“Uh, how much weight can you lift?” Leo whispered as Raph put the bed down again, repeating the process with the small table that had an old stereo on it.
“Err, I dunno, it’s been a while since I last checked,” Raph answered absentmindedly, carefully moving the drum set to check. No scurrying snacks, so all clear. “Ok, that’s probably it.”
“Nevermind, let me just grab my knitting kit,” Rafa jumped off with a bothered, dejected scowl. Raph better fix that. “I’ll patch up the beanbag and stay there for a while.”
He grabbed the teen by the shell and reeled him into a one-armed hug, nuzzling the top of his head with an apologetic chirp, mildly wondering why… why was Raph’s room more comforting than Rafa’s own. Was it the lack of hiding spots for insects? Or did he just want something to do to keep his mind distracted?
Rafa grumbled a complaint under his breath, but ultimately relaxed and patted his arm in a “yeah, yeah” gesture, which meant his apology did get through the initial wave of angry disappointment, at least.
“That would be nice, thanks Rafa,” Raph whispered softly as he let his counterpart go.
“You still knit?” Leo sounded surprised as he leaned forward on his shoulder, “I thought you dropped it after Donnie tried to tell you how the proper technique should be—”
“I kept at it, I just stopped showing it off to you guys,” Rafa admitted with a tired scowl, “can’t have a damn hobby without getting corrected for not being perfect. Like I don’t get enough of that from Splinter already.”
Leo winced and lowered his face closer to his shell, partially hiding away from his brother. Raph raised an arm to pat him comfortingly.
“Thanks for helping me patch up my pillow, Rafa” Raph said to break the odd silence, already turning around to leave, “we’ll bring you something to eat after… uhm, you know. You could, uh, you could eat with Donnie, right?”
“I guess,” Rafa sighed, picking up an old shoe box that was tucked at the corner, hidden among some old CDs and headphones. “I’m not hungry anyway.”
“We’ll definitely get you something to eat then,” Leo nodded decidedly, and Rafa gave his brother a quick, genuine smile before walking out of the room with Raph trailing close behind.
Not like he was escorting him or anything, he just wanted to keep an eye on— he just wanted to make sure they all were ok-ish , after all the things that happened.
He halted for a second as his counterpart stepped into Raph’s room, walking in a straight line towards the pierced beanbag. Nodding to himself, he left with long strides to the kitchen, feeling Leo shift on his back in preparation to hop down—
Shoot, he should have hurried up for Mikey.
Splinter was sitting at the “head” of the rectangular thing they used as a makeshift table, right in front of the fridge. Mikey was giving them pleading looks as they approached, seated at the far end just in front of the sink, as far away as he could be while still sharing space with his father.
Leo spared a quick glance at the rat mutant and took a seat right in front of Mikey at the far end, so Raph had little option but to take the space that was right at Splinter’s side, acting as an 8ft buffer between the man and the teens. Great, just great.
He grabbed the sturdy box thing Donnie had given him as stand-in for a chair and sat down.
For an uncomfortably long moment nobody spoke or moved. They all were just… there. Sitting together. In silence.
Splinter cleared his throat. “How… how did you three sleep?”
Raph could feel the weight of two stares land on him. Why were the kids looking at him, why was he expected to answer first, dammit.
“Uh, fine,” Raph shrugged one shoulder with feigned nonchalance, looking at his plate as if trying to determine the best way to eat a sandwich. Like it was any more complicated than just grabbing it and biting down.
Smooth Raph, smooth. Damn it all.
“Yeah, good!” Mikey chirped with false enthusiasm and a full mouth, small pieces of munched bread flying across the table. Neither he nor Leo mentioned it.
“Uh-huh, yeah, good…” Leo squirmed uneasily in his seat, glancing at the rat mutant before focusing entirely on his food. “Good.”
“I see.”
A long pause of silence as they all just… sat there. Physically together. Contemplating sandwiches instead of eating them.
It was, in one word, awkward as hell.
Raph didn’t know which would be worse, being the first to finish or the last to do so, so he settled on giving his sandwich a small bite, tugging at a corner. He was immediately disappointed when his teeth pierced through it cleanly. Undercooked meat would be better to tug at… it would withstand a bit more before tearing apart—
“I think,” Splinter said softly as he methodically cut the sandwich in smaller, bite-sized pieces, “we could… do something together.”
An uncomfortably long period of silence followed that sentence, as they all just… chewed. At the same time. For one minute too long. Ugh, Raph wanted to bolt away from here—
“Like what?” Leo was the first to take pity on Splinter, acting like the silence was just an afterthought of them taking their time munching. Nobody bought it, but nobody mentioned it either, and that was enough for them to turn a blind eye to it.
“Like… the Lair Games?”
Raph and Mikey perked up at that. Leo just blinked at his father, perplexed.
“You would? The games looked kinda— uh, messy. In the video, I mean.”
“They looked quite entertaining as well,” Splinter said with a careful hum, “they require a large space too however. I was thinking we could use a different section of the sewers to set everything up, and then work together to clean up once they have concluded.”
Mikey grinned, his smile looking genuine for the first time since they left Raph’s room this morning.
“I— uh… yeah, that could work,” Leo admitted with a slow nod.
“That’s gonna take more than a day though,” Mikey added excitedly, shifting in his seat from one side to the other in a way that made the chair’s legs scrap against the floor. “There’s the Break the cement block without weapons event, the Throw the pizza shuriken, the Handstand skating mountain, the Gross slurb pipe stuff, Rolling chair spinning race, Who can fit more marshmallows in their mouth, the Talent show, the Balancing tower on the snouts, Shell bowling, and the Golf pipes! Ten events baby!”
The emotion was contagious, the tip of his tail wagged a bit as he grinned down at Mikey. “We could replace the most complicated with some of the ones my family had in previous years, like the Sit on the balloon without popping it thingy, Balance the chopsticks with your tongue, the paper boat race, the first to catch pops wins—”
“What is that last one?”
“ — the — eh? Oh, uh, it’s like ‘catching the chicken’ but with pops, so we are blindfolded in a closed room and try to get him. We gotta hold him for at least five seconds to win. It was voted-out last year ‘cause my brothers complained it wasn’t fair.”
All Raph had to do was wait for his faster, more agile brothers to catch his pops, and then he would dive in, grab the fluffy furry rat mutant and snatch him away from the smaller could-be-winner, then trapping pops in a tight hug for the required time while his younger brothers cursed and tried to tickle Raph in a vain attempt of making him drop the prisoner.
Part of him still thought that this event game was just an excuse for pops to try to get more hugs from Donnie, but that was neither here nor there.
“That sounds interesting,” Splinter admitted with a small smile, stroking his beard pensively. “We could replace the skating hill—”
“Noooo, that’s the best of them all!” Mikey immediately whined.
“It’s also the most complicated to set up Mikey,” Leo snorted with a fond smile.
“Not necessarily, I mean, we could just find something in the sewers… maybe? Right?”
“Mikey, what part of the sewers would be—”
The brothers exchanged ideas back and forth, now in much better humor. Raph relaxed in his seat and wolfed down the remnants of his sandwich in a single big bite—
“Spiky Raph.”
— and promptly choked on it when Splinter called.
He hit his own chest with a fist, coughing up harshly. “Y-yeah?”
“If you are done, there is something I would like to… inquire about.”
Damn it, Raph was done.
The two brothers paused their animated discussion to look at him, a mix of curiosity and nervous expectation. Raph recognized that gaze as the one his own brothers did sometimes, when they were watching out for Raph’s next action to imitate him, to learn from him.
He was setting an example here. Why!?
“Not—” not right now, he wanted to say, but looking at Splinter also meant looking at his bruised cheek, something that was so blatantly Raph’s own doing. Ouph, he still wanted to apologize for that, he wanted to apologize for how hurtful his words had been, for losing himself... quite literally.
Besides, if he was setting an example then he couldn’t refuse, because his little brothers may end up doing that too and Raph didn’t want that for them, they deserved better than a broken family. If this Splinter was like Raph’s own then he would learn; he would try to improve, if given the opportunity.
Splinter deserved the benefit of the doubt, Raph could give him at least that much.
So he clicked his mouth shut and swallowed his words, nodding in agreement instead. “Yeah, I— uh, alright.”
Splinter gave him a grateful smile, standing up from the table and making a head motion for Raph to follow as he stepped away. Raph nodded but stayed behind, grabbing both empty plates to leave them at the sink.
“Spiky Raph?” Mikey asked without asking, so he rubbed the top of his head reassuringly.
“Lots of things happened yesterday, I wanna talk with him too,” Raph settled for a half-truth as he smiled down at them. "I'll be back soon."
Mikey hummed pensively. Leo just nodded with the whisper of a "thanks."
Raph walked out of the kitchen, feeling phantom shivers crawl all over his skin the closer he got to the dojo. His tail hit the floor with a flurry of uneasy thud, thud, thud, almost at the same rate as his speeding heart. So many things had happened in that room, the memories the place evoked were not… pleasant.
The door was left ajar invitingly, so Raph mindfully curled his tail around his ankle to control the nervous tic, took in a deep breath and stepped inside, with an inner mantra of just do it, you can do it Raph, just do it—
The room was still visibly damaged. The floor had small craters all around, the wall was cracked up, the hinges where the weapons used to hang on were pried off the walls so the halberds were just leaning against it now… Savage really had done a number to this place.
Savage had tried to get rid of the threat, seriously harm Splinter. They all were so lucky that the man was as skilled as he was, that the attempts had been unsuccessful, because if Splinter had hesitated for a second too long, if he had been any slower or any less experienced, then…
“You may come closer,” Splinter invited softly, looking up at the growing tree instead of at him. His posture straight, with both hands clasped behind his back, proper, much too formal, so similar to Draxum.
Raph didn't want to look at him, didn't want to keep noting the similarities, he needed an excuse to look away. Besides, if Raph didn’t force himself to do this now it would just get harder later, so he walked with long strides towards the rat mutant and bent at the waist.
“...what is this?”
Raph swallowed and focused on clawed bare feet.
“I’m sorry about, uh, about the things I said. I was tired and upset and I ended up being too harsh and c-cruel and I’m sorry. You didn’t know you were triggering me, ‘cause I didn’t tell you anything, and blowing up like that was not the best way to— to come clean about it, so… yeah.”
He exhaled deeply, forcing his shoulders to relax as he straightened up and met Splinter’s surprised gaze.
“I don’t hate you, you’re not… him, you’re not Draxum, and I’m sorry I said you were, I’m sorry Savage treated you like you were dangerous like him, I’m sorry about… uh, whatever Puffs did? I don’t know what exactly he said or did, but knowing him it probably had the tact of a bulldozer, so yeah.”
Splinter hummed at that, gaze soft and sad, but also loving and understanding, just like his pops’ had been back when Raph had first delved into a Savage episode.
“I’m not afraid, and I’m not mad at you. You were just scared Red, it’s ok to be scared.”
Splinter motioned for him to come closer. Raph hesitated for just one second before complying, tentatively stepping forward.
“May I?” Splinter asked softly, raising up both palms to… cradle his face?
Raph blinked in surprise and gave a slow nod, bending down so this Splinter could fully cup his cheeks, in the same way… in the same way his pops usually did.
“I must apologize as well. I have been unknowingly bringing up painful memories of the man that treated you as both, soldier and son.” Raph gulped at the certainty of the sentence. Shit, what did Puffs say, just how much had he shared? “Because I was doing that same thing with my own family.”
Splinter took in a shattery breath. “Both students and sons…”
Raph winced at the reminder, lip curling up in an instinctive snarl before he could control it. Splinter’s hands fell, ears pressed against his skull as he took slow, deep breaths, eyes looking a bit… tearful, even if no actual tears fell.
“Open and honest communication can open up channels of healing and foster resilience amidst family adversity,” Splinter recited slowly, like he had carefully memorized it from a book. “So if you would care to share, I would like to ask some things about your family, about my… counterpart.”
So Splinter just wanted to talk about his pops? That's not something he would have expected.
Raph gave a tentative nod. Splinter nodded back, but continued to stand still, rooted in place, gaze unfocused and unblinking and very much not saying anything.
He was obviously lost in thought. Raph looked around uneasily, grimacing at the damage to the floor and walls, the reminder of everything that had happened. Uh, perhaps they could talk while working?
“Do you have something I can use to repair the floor?”
Splinter’s gaze abruptly refocused on the here and now. “Repair it?”
“Yeah, I was the one to break it, so I should be the one to repair it,” Raph said simply, focusing on the floor craters instead of looking at him. “You know, natural consequences instead of punishments and all that.”
Splinter’s ears twitched with interest as the man turned to look at the damaged floor as well. “I see. Under that logic… since it was our confrontation I will help fix it. We can start by removing what remains of the broken tiles.”
“Yeah, that’s a good start,” Raph gave a small smile, as they both got on to work.
They placed one of Splinter’s old robes over the area they would start with, so they could kneel and try to crack up the remnants of the tile without damaging the neighboring ones.
They worked together in comfortable silence for a short moment.
“Can you elaborate?”
Crack! As the tile broke apart under a surprised fist. “Eh?”
“About the ‘natural consequences’ instead of punishments. I assume this is an instruction my counterpart mandated?”
“Oh, uh.” That was an odd way to say it, but. “Yeah? Pops said that we all would get to face the consequences of our own actions, instead of getting’ grounded, ‘cause he was tired of having Leon coming up to him complaining everytime I grounded him, heh.”
Splinter sighed through his nose. “You should not have been the one issuing punishments…”
“Uhm,” Raph halted, but Splinter just hummed and shook his head, as if to dismiss the thought.
“No, that is not the point of my question. Can you provide an example?”
Raph was grateful the topic was dismissed. “An example of natural consequences? Eh, well, we first had that conversation when I tried to ground Leo for breaking the TV remote, ‘cause he was using it as an imaginary sword to play with even after I told him not to. So instead of me taking away Lou Jitsu marathon privileges, pops said the natural consequence was for him to help get a new remote instead.”
An interested hum, as Splinter removed the old robe and started to handpick the bigger tile pieces. “How so?”
“Buying a new one. Leon was a kiddo with no money, so Splinter made a list of chores and gave it a monetary value. He had him do chores until he could ‘repay’ the cost of the remote he broke.”
“That sounds quite ingenious,” Splinter admitted, putting the pieces over the old cloth, “and it worked?”
“For a while, yeah. Donnie could repair almost anything on his own, so we started to hide away the broken stuff and got Dee to try to fix it first before pops noticed.” Raph smiled nostalgically. “Dee started to capitalize on that by asking favors in exchange, it was a nightmare! I’ve got discounts so it’s cool, but Leo was always overcharged.”
He chuckled under his breath at the memories. Most of the time Leo would rather go to pops than do whatever Dee was asking for, but Raph and Mikey actually could avoid Splinter most of the time, so Leo got mad at the unfairness and started to learn a bit about the basics of mechanics and programming, so he could repair stuff on his own and avoid Splinter’s punishments just as often.
His studying-out-of-spite paid off in the end, considering Leon had gained enough skill to not only avoid Splinter’s meddling, but also be able to mess with Donnie’s tech sometimes, like back when Shelldon was programmed to favor Dee over everyone else.
Sure Leon was no expert, so Shelldon had sort of tried to kill Donnie in the end, but most of the time the consequences weren’t that dire, and it was kind of fun.
“Children… of course you would find a way around it,” Splinter hummed with a hint of amusement.
“Yeah,” Raph snickered, “but the ‘consequences instead of punishment’ reasoning remained. If you break down something, you gotta repair it. If you dirty up the place, then you clean it up. If you lost something, you gotta replace it. That sort of stuff.”
The core of it was a good reasoning, that much was certain.
“The consequence of lying?” Splinter tilted his head curiously.
Ouph, that was a hard one. “Err, depends on what it was about, but overall I guess it diminishes trust, so more questioning and less freedom to do things on my own later on?”
At least that’s what Raph had faced after the Frankenfoot mess.
“How interesting… and the consequence of raising your voice?”
“Raising— you mean screaming?”
“Yes.”
“Err, nothing?” Raph shrugged. “Pops just tells us to tone it down if we’re interrupting his commercials—”
“No, I mean yelling at your Splinter.”
The rat mutant had halted on his work, giving him his undivided attention. Raph tried not to squirm under the expectant gaze.
“Uh…” he blinked, dumbfounded, “that doesn’t happen often? Not with anything serious anyway. We can complain about pops monopolizing the projector but that’s nothing new, so we just whine and leave when he throws popcorn at us.”
Raph shrugged again. Splinter silently mouthed ‘throwing popcorn’ with an incredulous frown.
“That cannot be it. Have you never had a serious talk with him?”
If anything, they had had one too many.
“We’re not ready for any of this, we’re too young to be dealing with this crap! We could have died there pops, we could have DIED and it would have been my fault as the leader!” Raph had growled and cried as he paced in the room—
“It would be my fault, Red.”
He had turned around so sharply he had almost strained his neck. “What?”
“It would be my fault Raphael, not yours. If anything happens to any of you, it is on my shoulders for not being there to protect you.”
Ugh, that talk had been so terribly heavy. It had helped Raph remember that he could ask for help from pops though, that he didn’t have to shoulder everything alone just because he was the eldest, which had helped him a lot in the long run, not only for mission-related stuff but also the mundane things like the House Chores chart.
“If it’s anything serious and we’re yelling… then we either put things on hold, leave it for another day so we all can cool down and try again later, or…”
He took in a deep breath, meeting Splinter’s gaze firmly, a mix of silent pleading and angry disappointment in his stare.
Because despite it all, Raph remembered all too well what had made the thread keeping Raph fronting snap, the reason he had stepped back and Savage had to take the wheel.
Splinter had tried to hit Rafa, for some reason he couldn’t even begin to phantom, and it was very hard not to resent him, snarl and growl at him for that.
“Or pops stays silent and lets us— he lets me scream.” This Splinter should let Rafa scream if he was already at his boiling point, which shouldn’t happen as often as it seemed to happen here.
Why was Rafa on the verge of boiling all the time? That wasn’t normal, that shouldn’t be normal!
“He lets me pace in front of him, lets me growl at the wall and bite the pillows. Pops lets me do whatever I need to do to express my feelings, because where the shell am I supposed to unwind if not in my own home? So long as I don't hurt others or myself, either with words or physically, then I’m good!”
And Rafa should be treated the same way, so why was his experience so different from Raph’s own? The anger issues weren’t going to disappear if the root cause wasn’t treated, if the teen kept boiling things inside instead of expressing them at the moment so he could do so without exploding.
And even if it reached that point, if Rafa exploded like Raph sometimes exploded—
“Pops stays through my storm of hard feelings! He stays and lets me unwind the worst of it and then— and once I’m calmer he… he opens his arms and gives me a hug, pats my head and shoulders and tells me I’m gonna be ok. He reminds me that he’s there for me, that he’s gonna try to help, that he’s sorry he didn’t notice sooner,” Raph sniffed and shivered, all anger evaporating away as it was replaced with deep sorrow.
He missed his pops, now more than ever. “He says that Raph’s not alone, never alone, that my family loves me and c-cares for me and that… that it doesn’t matter what happens they’ll always be there to have my back, just like I’ve got theirs…”
He blinked away the tears. Where was his family? Where were his siblings, his pops, were they doing ok without Raph? Were they safe? Were they missing him as much as he missed them?
“We support each other,” Raph shuddered, raising his hands to messily rub away the tears. “I miss my family, I miss my pops, we’re always there for each other but— but they’re not here for me, and I’m not there for them…and...”
He was here. He was here, stuck dealing with all of this, sheltering teens from the one that should be protecting them.
“And you?” Raph growled through the blurry vision, voice dripping with disappointment. “What— what do you do?”
Other than hitting them, training them. Students first, sons second.
Just like he had been a soldier first, son second.
“I did… commit many mistakes. I am now aware of that, which is why… I wanted to hear more about how your Splinter handled things.” Splinter moved closer, tentatively raising one hand to reach him. “May I?”
Raph wanted to be angry, but it was hard to keep buffing when this tall Splinter imitated his pops' pleading expression so accurately. Even the same gestures, as the man offered… a hug…
Raph took deep breaths and carefully leaned forward, letting the taller Splinter guide his head until it rested on a shoulder.
“Thank you for the insight, I have been trying different tactics to correct— to help Raphael handle his temper without success. I can now improve on that,” Splinter sighed shakily, “and I am aware I am not… your pops, but I do care about my family, and that includes you, for as long as you stay with us.”
Raph whimpered, torn between pulling away and leaning closer. How could this man be so similar to Draxum and his pops at the same time? Kind, loving and understanding, but also distant, formal, strict and punishing . The parallels hurt so, so much.
“You are so different from him,” Raph admitted in a whisper, deciding to lean more into the hug, one arm carefully returning Splinter’s embrace.
“Then focus on the similarities,” the rat mutant instructed softly, clawed hand tentatively resting on the back of his head, “what… what would you say are our similarities? Between your Splinter and I.”
Raph still thought this man resembled Draxum more than he did his pops, but saying that would be… incredibly cruel and inconsiderate on his part.
“I’m— uh, I don’t know you well enough to answer that,” Raph settled for a half-truth.
Splinter winced at his answer, so Raph squeezed him closer and hurried to add: “But uh, but I can tell you’re kind, you have a loving heart, you try to— to understand… you try to understand before reacting to some things, but that’s all I can tell, so uh, so I don’t know…”
A short pause of silence, followed by a deep, exhausted sigh. “I see.”
Raph pulled back enough to look at Splinter once more, lifting one hand to rest on the clothed shoulder. “I don’t— I don’t really get you, I don’t… know you. So, uh, can you tell me more about you? Who were you before, uh, this whole situation.”
In spite of everything, Splinter gave a soft, amused huff. “You’re gesturing to my whole being.”
“I mean before the mutation,” Raph shrugged sheepishly, “before adopting four mutant turtles and, uh, training them to be ninja. What’s the story of Hamato Yoshi?”
Splinter hummed, turning to look at a shelf on the wall. Raph hadn’t noticed it before. It had an assortment of trinkets and candles on the sides, and a single photo frame at the very center.
A shrine. They had something similar for Gram-gram back at home…
“The story of Hamato Yoshi, eh?” Splinter went to retrieve the photo frame, offering it to him.
Raph took it carefully, frowning confusedly at the picture of a small family. “Who are they?”
“My wife and daughter.”
“You married and—” Raph choked before clearing his throat. Shoot, was that rude? Yeah, it probably was, ugh. “I mean, uhm… you look happy and uh, she seems kind…”
“She was very kind, yes.” Past tense. Of course, Raph would have already met her otherwise…
He thinned his mouth, almost afraid to ask, but: “What happened to them?”
Splinter’s gaze sharpened. “The Shredder happened.”
Distant memories of an animalistic screech assaulted his mind. The feeling of having his arms ripped off, the sensation of claws digging into his plastron as he was pulled apart, ripped in two right by the middle—
“Oh, child…”
“Sorry, sorry,” Raph shivered, trying to control the hyperventilation. You need to take slow breaths, slow breaths, a deep voice reminded as Shredder’s memory blurred out, pushed out and away, and Raph sent a mental thanks to Puffs, even if he was surprised to hear him instead of Mind Raph.
“My Shredder was no good,” Raph justified — you don’t need to justify shit — tail flipping out as an outlet for the nervous energy. “Is— is yours also possessed by a demonic armor?”
Rodent ears flipped upward in attention as Splinter frowned with concern. “A possessed armor? No, of course not, although… him not acting on his own volition would have been less hurtful.”
How— how could a possessed armor be the better alternative!?
You fucking asshole.
“Don’t say that!” Raph admonished both Splinter and Puffs, shaking his head as if that would make the deeper voice fade out. “You didn’t see— you didn’t see that trapped soul. In my universe Oroku Saki was— he was sort of related to us? I mean, he used to be Gram-gram’s dad, who was possessed by the cursed armor and sort of… ended up killing his own family 500 years ago…”
And as someone who lost control of his own actions, lost sight of his own memories, that never failed to send a shiver down his spine.
We are not killing anyone that doesn’t deserve it, don’t be stupid.
Savage could... accidentally.
Whatever fool scares us to that extent has it coming.
Raph huffed and settled on ignoring the voice — I am literally here just to help you! — lifting a palm to rub their his face tiredly.
“I’m sorry, I did not mean to come across as insensitive,” Splinter sighed, shoulders sagging slightly, “I can respect your family history, I do not intend to undermine the stories you have been told.”
Stories?
Oh, this Splinter thought they had just heard of it , not lived to witness, Karai’s death, the Shredder’s cursed return.
They decided not to correct that assumption. “How is he like? Your Shredder.”
“The Shredder here is our enemy, even if I once considered him family, he is responsible for…” Splinter trailed off with a grieving snarl, before taking a deep breath. “For killing those he once cherished. He decided to exterminate the Hamato clan, by his own free will.”
Oh… so that’s what he had meant.
A true enemy then. How does this Shredder look like?
“No, sorry I overreacted… uhm, what— what happened?” Raph asked instead, ignoring the more-prone-to-violence voice as he lamented Mind Raph’s absence. I resent that.
“I suppose, all stories should start by the beginning,” Splinter looked forlornly at the framed photo, finger pads carefully caressing the protective glass.
“I was born in Japan, into a peacekeeping ninja clan called Hamato. I was the heir, meant to succeed my father as the Clan Head once he passed away. My life was dedicated fully to his teachings—”
So he was your sensei first, father second.
“So he was your sensei first, father second,” Raph repeated on autopilot, inwardly cursing at Puffs’ influence on their bluntness.
Splinter grimaced, but ultimately nodded. “I suppose he was. He instructed me in ninjutsu alongside my… alongside Oroku Saki, the only remaining survivor of the Foot clan that was adopted by my father. Saki, he… he used to be my brother.”
“Oroku Saki? But isn’t he the—”
“Yes. He would later be known as The Shredder.” Splinter looked pained, and Raph instinctually moved closer to rest his hand on his shoulder, the closest thing to comfort his pops allowed for.
Whenever Raph tried to hug him for comfort, his pops would abruptly clear his throat and cut off the moment, immediately escaping, leaving the room.
“I do not want to say anything I could regret, but I am grateful for the sentiment, Red.”
His pops was complicated.
This taller Splinter was frowning, evaluating the comforting gesture and ultimately deeming it too much, as he firmly pushed the arm away from him.
“I am fine, you do not have to— I do not need to talk about this, we can stop if—”
“No, no, sorry!” You have nothing to apologize for Raph. “I still wanna know, I won’t— I’m gonna stay over here, yeah? Please continue.”
This rat has emotional illiteracy; that is hardly our fault.
What does that word even mean!?
Splinter hummed, shaking his head in a very rodent-like manner before deciding to continue.
“Before he became the Shredder, Oroku Saki used to be— we used to be… pinned as rivals by my father, I suppose. As students under his tutelage we were always taunting and trying to best each other, not just in combat. I believe that may also have led to us becoming rivals for… Tang Shen’s love as well. She made her decision, of course… but Saki never let go, not even after my baby Miwa was born.
“One night, he came to our home armed with razor sharp steel claws,” Splinter closed his eyes, lowering his chin in grief, and it was very, very hard to not reach out to offer comfort. “During our confrontation, my home caught on fire. I was— I had a chance to deliver a fatal blow, but I— he was my brother, he was my family at some point, I did not want to believe that he was… that he was truly trying to kill me.”
They gulped, hands curling into fists and body tense in an effort to control his too-expressive tail, because if Splinter noticed they were so affected by the revelation then the story would stop.
Raph wanted to cry. The mere mental image of brothers willingly trying to kill each other was too horrible a concept, he was so troubled by it he was starting to feel physically nauseous. If Raph had been in his place, he wouldn’t have attacked either.
Puffs had cold ice running in his veins instead of blood. He wanted to face Shredder, just like he had Draxum. Fights are do or die, and he would do, so nobody they cared for had to die.
“I hesitated and he took advantage of that opening. I was going to die there… but Shen— she— she jumped between us. She took the fatal blow in my stead.” Splinter’s ears were pressed against his skull as he spoke, looking pained for a short moment before he controlled his expression once more.
They shivered at the memory of gram-gram dying, rescuing them from under the Shredder’s grasp, pushing them away to safety. As safe as they could be while in the middle of a battlefield, at least, as she faced an opponent so much stronger than them.
“The house collapsed over us, there was fire everywhere, I do not know how I survived, by all means I should have perished under the burning debris, just like my baby daughter— just like my Miwa did…”
Splinter sobbed discreetly, a single tear escaping from closed eyelids.
They carefully moved closer to the grieving man, one hand tentatively resting on his forearm, not saying anything.
“How pathetic,” Splinter huffed under his breath, staring at the wall behind them. “Why is a grown man breaking down in front of a mere child?”
“I am not a child,” they reassured, the statement of a fact, “I know you don’t see it that way, but I’m already an adult. There is no need for shelter.”
“First April, now you,” Splinter sighed and sniffed, controlling the overflowing emotion absurdly fast. “My father would be disappointed—”
“Do you wanna be like your dad?”
Splinter finally turned to look at them once more. “No.”
“Then don’t think about what he would say,” they said softly but firmly, “that’s what pops used to tell us, whenever we— when I would… um.”
He was… Raph? Yeah. Yeah, he was Raph.
Splinter hummed and placed a clawed hand on top of their own; concern replacing the previous anguish as realization struck.
“Did you ever,” Splinter asked sadly, “think about what Draxum would… say?”
“When uh, when I was little, yeah. It was hard not to… think. About how he would have reacted, if he would have been proud or disappointed, or happy or angry… but uh… you know, I slowly started to think more about pops and the like. I’m fine now.”
Splinter took a sharp intake of air, eyes growing a bit larger. “A replacement.”
“...what?”
“A replacement would work nicely, yes. Now that I’m conscious of it, I think… I can ask myself, what would Shen say or do? Instead of wondering what my father would say or do.”
Ooohh!
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea; she was— uh, she was kind, right?”
“She was the most loving and kindhearted person I have ever had the pleasure to meet,” Splinter smiled lovingly at the framed photo, shifting as a sign for Raph to move back and give him space again. “She would know what to do, she would… be able to soothe the wounds present in the bonds of this family. Thank you, this talk has been most informative.”
“It has?” This tall Splinter had asked very little about pops, in the end they had talked more about his own past.
“Absolutely, now I can read the books and note down what resonates best with Shen’s memory. What would she say, think, do; when faced with the circumstances I am now facing?”
Uh, okay? “Books?”
“April’s books, I am very much in her debt,” Splinter admitted with a dismissive hand gesture, looking sort of… happy. Excited, maybe? It was hard to tell, when everything he said and did was so tuned down and controlled.
“I know we did not get to repair much today, but I believe the dojo’s usage could benefit from a break at this point of time." Splinter reassured. "Do not concern yourself with this, I will repair what remains.”
Raph looked around, because… they had hardly done anything.
“But I didn’t help any.”
“You have, believe me when I say your mere presence has been enough help,” Splinter reassured kindly. “I will study the books now, please tell Leonardo that I will speak with him and his brothers soon.”
Why focus on Leo only?
“Uh, you mean I should tell all of them, right?”
Splinter paused and tilted his head. “Is that not what I said?”
“You said to tell Leo to tell the others, but that’s kinda, uh, redundant. Right?”
“Correct, yes,” Splinter said thoughtfully, “yes, you are right. Please relay the message to all of them, I will know how to approach this better once I am done reading, I am sure of it.”
He did sound sure of it.
Raph didn’t think it would be that easy, mostly because his own pops never stopped struggling on certain things, some days more than others… and old habits die hard…
The rat is trying, he will need that kind of foolish optimism to start the journey.
Harsh.
“Will do,” Raph nodded at last, waving goodbye. Splinter gave him a single nod and turned around, sliding his door close as soon as he stepped into his room.
Okay. So that happened. Turns out, this tall Splinter also had a very — shitty — not-good past, and that’s why he did what he did in the way he did it.
He was incredibly — similar to Draxum — different from pops, yet oddly not so much.
They huffed, and Raph rubbed his face once more. Ugh, today was one of those rare days… this didn’t happen often, but the emotional turmoil of this whole situation was starting to take its toll. “They” were a plural, and “he” was a singular and right now they were both. Sometimes it was just blurry.
I am here to help, let me help.
I know Puffs, I know.
They sighed, finally stepping out of the still-damaged dojo and sliding the door close behind them. Alright, where were their little brothers?
The kitchen was empty, but as they walked closer to the living room they could hear four distant voices coming from the lab.
“ — so we need at least this much space to build the skating ramp—”
“How did it go?” Third asked impatiently as soon as they got close to the lab’s entrance, practically running up to them, “what did he say?”
Second huffed at the interruption. “Probably not much, calm down Leo. Splinter just got the books yesterday, it’s only been one night.”
“Not like that guarantees anything anyway,” Rafa shrugged, reaching out to trap Mikey in a chokehold.
“It’s a good first step though!” Mikey gave his brothers a thumbs up, seemingly unbothered by the uncomfortable position Rafa had locked him in. “So tell us the details, come on, give us something Spiky Raph!”
Spiky Raph… yeah. Yeah, he was Raph, he could be Raph.
“How do you know Splinter’s reading books?” he settled for saying as he stepped deeper into the lab, with Leo right at his heels, much too expectant.
“April told me, so I told them,” Donnie deadpanned simply, rolling up the blueprints of what appeared to be a crude skating ramp, “so what did Splinter want?”
“Hmm, he just… wanted to know more about how my pops handles some things. A reference, I guess. I told him we use the reasoning of natural consequence instead of punishments—”
Raph tried to retell as many things as he could remember. The talk about the not-punishments, and examples of how his pops handled Raph’s own anger issues, because they deserved to know there were better ways to help, and that being at the verge of snapping all the time wasn't normal.
The way Rafa looked at him with visible longing was heartbreaking to see. The three smaller turtles had remained close to him for the entirety of that part, something his counterpart silently appreciated.
And at last, the change of mindset at the end of their conversation, shifting the focus from Splinter’s father to Tang Shen.
He had skipped the whole personal story though, unsure of just how much they knew about the tragedy. It wasn’t his place to tell.
“So Splinter’s dad was also more sensei than dad, go figure,” Donnie snorted humorlessly, having caught on the hidden layer regardless.
“Huh, that… that makes sense,” Mikey hummed thoughtfully. “Splinter must have learned from somewhere, both the good and the bad.”
“So he’s just imitating his dad without realizing?” Leo asked his brothers, visibly confused. “Can someone really do that without noticing?”
“Said Splinter Jr.” Rafa rolled his eyes, but still placed an arm around Leo's shoulders, leaning on him.
“Wait, what? Am I really—”
“Yes,” a chorus of three voices immediately interrupted.
“Not as bad though,” Donnie added as an afterthought.
“Yeah, could be worse,” Mikey rubbed Leo’s shell reassuringly, who seemed to be reconsidering his whole life in a matter of seconds.
“You’ve been getting better these days,” Rafa made a so-so gesture, pulling Leo into a headlock and nogging his head. “I’ll kick you from Monday through Sunday if you start to go down that path.”
“Oww, Raph!” Leo scolded with a relieved smile, doing nothing to try to escape, and Raph relaxed at how well they were taking all of this. Maybe today they could truly relax—
“Anyway, tonight is mission night,” Donnie said.
— instead of — what.
“What.”
Donnie took out the map of New York City, which now had a new red mark on it.
“April’s suspicion was spot-on, so we’ve got a new warehouse to investigate. Which reminds me, take these panic buttons, I’ll tell you how to—”
Well— fuck — buggers.
(x)
Having an outlet for the pent up frustration was amazing, and feeling Four’s chains wrapped around his glowing arms was the icing of the cake. Connected, he was connected, the sensation was liberating both spiritually and psycologically. They could feel his brother's proximity, the warmth and love, and it powered up his red projection in small amounts, enough for him to be able to make the limbs grow larger, even if his ninpo continued to just coat his arms only.
“Disperse, don’t let them surround you!” Leo ordered as he ran across the room, avoiding the lasers the robots— the aliens? The Krang were shooting at them. “Failure is not an option!”
“Technically, failure is an option,” Second corrected as he ran on the other side along with Rafa.
“Wanna hear another option? Slapping you!” Pfft, that was probably Rafa’s way of saying he didn’t appreciate Donnie’s bluntness in the middle of a fight. Second seemed unbothered, rolling away from his brother to yell at Fourth.
“At your right!”
“Your right or my right!?”
Subject One punched one of the robots, which went flying and crashed into the one that had been aiming at the smallest turtle.
“Your right! Be aware of your surroundings!” he scolded harshly.
“Sorry, sorry! Don’t growl at me!”
They huffed, but since the immediate danger had passed the sense of urgency diminished to a bearable level. They had been enjoying the battle a bit too much, he should refocus, they had brothers to protect.
Donnie jumped across the room while spinning his bo staff, which… was a good defensive move, of course. If he were being attacked, which he was not.
What was the point of that? A waste of time and energy.
The genius landed, using his bo staff to hit a robot at the head. Very ineffectively. Ok, so Donnie could use a good game of Catching the Bandana to practice going against sturdier opponents. Having the bo staff made of something sturdier than wood would help more.
“Are you kidding me!? I hate this thing!” Donnie frowned at his weapon. The robot-alien was now pointing a gun at him — move! — but thankfully Rafa knocked it down with a well-aimed kick.
“Fuck you Krangbot!”
“RAFA!”
“Ok, fine, un-fuck you then!”
“That’s not how it works!!”
Rafa said something that Raph didn’t really hear, because when he tore a robot apart one of the pink, brain-shaped aliens screeched and jumped right at his face.
What the shell, they were so slimy, GROSS!
Remove the visual impairment, we are in the midst of battle!
“Oh, come on!” Second exclaimed, from somewhere.
“HMPH!” Raph grabbed at the thing and tugged it away from their face, throwing it against a wall for good measure. “Gross, weugh!”
“Donnie, your weapon just exploded!” Mikey teased and indeed, it seemed that in that short glimpse of time one of the lasers had reached Donnie’s bo staff, and it was now burnt at one end. A sturdier material is a must.
“How am I supposed to fight advanced alien technology with a piece of wood!?” Donnie groaned, throwing away the remnants of his weapon and replacing it with one of the Krang’s discarded guns.
“Ohh Leo, Don’s got a gun!” Mikey screamed, much too entertained.
“What, who gave Donnie a gun!?”
“Shit, take cover!” Rafa immediately warned.
“Donnie, don’t go wild with the ammo—” Leo started to say, only to be interrupted by the gleeful cry of:
“This is much more EFFECTIVE!”
Raph, who was already used to Dee's dubiously gray morality — "the funds for my research? Innocent whistle, don't worry about it Raph" — didn't bat an eye at the scene.
His Dee was a "Honestly? I'm doing Earth a favor by removing you from its soil," kind of murdery, Rafa was a "look at me wrong, see what happens," kind of murdery, and this Donnie was a “this is the most efficient way to handle this,” kind of murdery.
Raph considered it passable, since his friend Cassey was an “I revel in chaos, I don't even need an excuse, I'll kill you just for the heck of it,” kind of murdery. With that precedent, this wasn’t too bad.
The sound of explosions and mad-scientist sounds of joy resonated all around him.
Yeah, this was actually kind of calm, in comparison.
It is indeed much more effective.
The fight continued until, at last, all the robots were taken down and all the slimy aliens slid away with a mix of angry screeches and hisses. Except for the one Raph had thrown against a wall, that one was (dead?) unconscious.
How does it taste like? They weren’t going to eat that thing.
"Don't eat that thing!" Rafa screeched, throwing a robot arm that bounced harmlessly off his glowing forearm.
"I wasn't going to!" Raph huffed a laugh and let his ninpo dissipate, the orange chains squeezing around his projection as if in protest, a last attempt at latching on him, before dissolving. He felt a bit colder with them gone, but there was a time limit they had to abide by if they wanted to avoid the worst of strain.
“You sure we can’t ask them where April’s dad is?” Raph used two fingers to pick it up by one of the… tentacle thingies. Kinda gross. “This one is knocked out, I think?”
“Ewww, don’t touch it,” Mikey gagged.
“I don’t think they can speak without their armor,” Donnie sighed, still somewhat grumpy about how the battle had turned out for his wood bo staff, now that the adrenaline of shooting lasers had worn off, “and you guys stabbed and crashed all of them beyond—”
“Dude, you’re the one that shot them senseless.”
"Hmm," Donnie made a pensive pose, ignoring Rafa's remark. "Actually, you know what? Help me take some of these robot carcasses back to my lab."
“Donnie, no. The last time you grabbed Krang tech you…uh, well.” Leo gestured at Raph's presence in a self-explanatory way.
“On contraire, that’s exactly the reason why I gotta get more Krang tech. Think about it, we would get better raw materials, which means better weapons and better tools to develop what we need to connect both worlds.”
They immediately perked up. Krang technology could help them get back home?
“Did you say better weapons?” Leo squinted suspiciously.
“Sounds legit,” Rafa didn’t seem convinced but he was already walking towards one of the fallen robots, probably just to contradict Leo.
“Raph, leave that thing!” Yeah, no surprise there.
“Why? Donnie asked us to help him so I’m being a good brother,” Rafa smirked at Leo, already dragging the robot carcass by a leg.
“He doesn’t decide that, that’s my call. I’m the leader, so—”
“Relax Leo, I’m not mixing it up with military grade tech this time,” Donnie grinned in his mad-scientist way, already excited at whatever idea was on his head. “Hey Spiky Raph, you can carry more than one, right? Just leave the Krang there and help us with the robots.”
Raph nodded and let the pink alien slip through his fingers, so it landed at the floor with a wet splat. Still gross.
“No, Spiky Raph, don’t move a muscle!” Leo warned with a pointed finger before turning towards Donnie again. “One, we’re not taking more alien tech back with us—”
“But I can use it in our favor!”
“— and two, we still need to check these boxes. If we can find an address for their headquarters then we’ll be a step closer to finding April’s dad.”
“Ohhh, we could steal the boxes,” Donnie had zero craps to give about Leo’s orders, and Raph tried not to laugh at the face their ‘leader’ was making. Ah yes, the first few months were always the hardest. “Ok everyone, help me open them up! We don’t have a vehicle yet, so we need to focus only on the best materials!”
“Donnie! Donnie we can’t— aaand there they go,” Leo deflated mid-sentence as his three younger brothers jumped over the boxes and used their own means to force open the lids.
“There they go, indeed,” Raph chuckled at Leo’s side.
“You know what, I’m gonna go talk to the wall, I think that’s more effective at this point,” Leo scoffed in frustrated defeat, turning around as if intending to go bump his head against said wall. Raph snorted and finally let his inner amusement slip away, sobering his expression as he dragged the retreating teen by the shell.
“Hey, come on, don’t be too harsh on ya’. You’ve been leading just for… a few weeks tops, right?”
Leo huffed and half-heartedly tried to pry Raph’s fingers off his shell. “Yeah. What’s your point?”
“Try to see it from their perspective,” Raph gestured at the other three teens with his head, “you passed from brother and equal to… uh, to Team Leader overnight. That takes some time to get used to.”
Leo deflated against his side, practically pouting at the floor. “I guess.”
“It also… takes a while on your side of the coin. To get used to being a leader, I mean,” Raph added softly, releasing the shell but still not looking at Leo directly. “It’s not like you’re born wired for it. You just gotta… learn along the way. Listen to the team, trust each other, rely on each other. Communicate.”
Communication was what Leon struggled with the most.
“…yeah,” Leo sighed, slowly headbutting his arm. “I guess.”
“You guys are all the same age, so having them see you as someone to follow, someone they should listen to, it’s gonna… be hard. My Dee gave Leon a run for his money the first few weeks.” Although that was probably out of solidarity for Raph’s stripped title, but that was neither here nor there.
“…for how long were you the leader?”
“All the way up ‘til two months ago,” Raph shrugged, “when pops appointed Leon.”
“Oh,” Leo blinked, looking at his feet with a pensive frown, “and you’re ok with that?”
“It’s a… change. All changes need some time to get used to, but Raph’s good,” mostly. It was just Leon’s bad habit of not communicating the plan’s details that drove him nuts, since that tended to either jeopardize the whole mission or put them at unnecessary risk. If Raph hadn’t been there to protect his family that one time, they may have—
“Really?” Leo seemed dubious.
“You don’t have to believe me, but I am,” Raph smiled reassuringly at the teen, “and I’m sure your brothers will too. Just give them some time, they’re just—"
“Ohhh Donnie, I think this one explodes! It’s all shiny and boomy-looking!”
“Don’t touch it Mikey!” Rafa warned from afar.
“Let me see that,” Donnie hopped from one box to the other with obvious giddiness.
“They’re just a bit dumb,” Raph snorted fondly.
“They are so, so dumb,” Leo groaned, hiding his face in his palms. “Why are they so careless , ugh.”
“They’re just having fun when they can,” Raph shrugged, chuckling when Rafa pushed Donnie into a large box, who fell in with a startled squeak. “They’re kids.”
“We’re not, actually,” Leo frowned up at him and woops, right, this older brother was the same age as them. “We shouldn’t— we should take things more seriously.”
“You already do where it counts, buddy. You’re doing what you can to help your April, right?” Raph patted the teen’s shoulder reassuringly. “Come on, I’ll help you look for labels. Let’s see where this stuff was supposed to go, yeah?”
Leo perked up at that, giving him a grateful smile before nodding resolutely. “Yes, ok. You take the right side, I’ll go left.”
“Sure thing, team leader,” Raph winked, pulling Leo into a one-armed hug to give him a quick, reassuring squeeze before they parted ways. “Team work jutsu, activate!”
“Yeah, team work,” Leo huffed and shook his head in annoyed fondness while looking at his brothers, who were still pretty much ignoring him.
(x)
Apparently, labeling boxes with the shipping address was for puny beings that actually had to follow legal transportation protocols to get stuff moved. The Krangs relied on their own personnel, using their own vehicles, and thus, they had found no headquarters’ address anywhere.
“Look at this! Look at this!” Donnie positively squealed as he showed a disassembled robot part. Wow, he sure worked fast. “Do you know what this is!?”
Raph finally put down the heavy box he had been tasked to bring back, and huffed a tired: “um… no?”
“Me neither, HAHA!” Mad-scientist mode was active and running, very, very noted. “I can’t wait to dismantle it! Just look at the quality of the material, the things I can make with these, the possibilities! Look at this part, if I grab this component and—”
Raph wasn't as smart as Donnie. Never had been, and never would be, but even when he couldn't understand half of the words the scientist used to explain his latest brainstorm of ideas, there was one thing he had always understood: his brother’s body language.
When his Dee makes floppy hands while explaining, that was Raph's cue to drop anything and everything in favor of going closer to ask dumb questions and praise him to the sun and back.
So when this Donnie started to get up on his tiptoes, then back on his heel, then up on his toes again in a little repetitive dance, Raph considered it his cue to do the same.
"DONIE THAT'S GREAT!"
The little jumps tuned up in speed as the smaller turtle squealed giddily and nodded. "I know!"
"YOU ABSOLUTE GENIUS!"
“YEAH, HAHA!” Donnie squealed in a high pitched voice, running around the lab and reorganizing stuff at random — or at least that’s how it looked like to Raph. Don probably had an inner catalog.
“Need help with anything Donnie?” Leo asked as a peace offering, considering Donnie couldn’t be deterred the best way to keep an eye on things so nothing blew up was to help out.
“Yeah, come on, come on, help me get the things out, I’ll tell you where to place them and then we can get started—”
The excitement was contagious, so Raph grinned from ear to ear and helped empty the stolen box of techno-thingies, passing stuff to the teens, which were separating them in different piles as per Donnie's instructions.
“What’s this?” Mikey asked every now and then, not like Donnie seemed to mind.
“That’s an ignition coil, and don’t hold it like that, you’re gonna break the output terminal.”
Mikey looked like he was exactly where he started in terms of understanding, but he did hold it differently.
“Huh,” Rafa said with interest, turning one of the objects around. “Donnie, what does this symbol stand for?”
“Symbol, what symbol?” Donnie hurried up, still running high on energy, even though he had probably not slept any in their last sleepover. What was the word, manic episode? His Mikey had said something about that at some point. “Huh, that’s weird.”
Raph loomed over them to see. “It looks like a flower, but made with hexagons only.”
Now that Rafa had pointed at it, he coud see most of the things in the box had it in one place or another.
“Doesn’t it seem kind of familiar?” Leo squinted at it.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it somewhere before…” Mikey trailed off with a hum.
A short pause of silence as the teens tried to recall.
“No clue.”
“Nothing’s coming to mind, nope.”
“Whatever it is, probably isn’t important.”
“Look at the quality of the material though, there’s no sign of rust—”
Raph shrugged and kept passing the things to the teens, to empty the box. It probably wasn’t relevant.
Notes:
Check out TEB AU collection, our talented Lemurz has added one new story for the iconic rise of 12!Slayder! kskskks it’s so well done!!
FANART
Fluffy fluff with all the Turtle piles of last chapter the 12!brothers look so small and cute! >w< you really should follow this Tumblr artist, just saying~
In theory not TEB but is related so I’m dropping here ksksk below is the fanart of Alicat’s A Different Eldest Brother Spinoff <3 you should really take a look at it!
Fluffy TEB Raph — DEB Dadnardo interaction
BABIES! Lethal bio-weapons, but BABIES
Master Post Compilation (or close to it) textAUTHOR NOTE
Donnie’s got a gun because Therma shared a Tumblr post with 03 Don and it was too funny not to include it somewhere ksksksAlso, you should *cough* join the Ghost cult for the Peepaw Tumblr contest *cough* check out Tumblr maybe ;)
Also, a reader was kind enough to inform me that the proper term for this chapter is not "blurring" but: "co-conscious" or "co-fronting" so please keep this in mind when investigating responsibly! *points at the Fic disclaimer* Thank you <3
Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it when someone takes the time to interact with this story in any way, I send y'all lots of hugs~
See ya’ around~ dEBB87
Chapter 20: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Chapter Text
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
(6K words)
Days passed by.
Donnie wasn’t the best with the whole “keep tabs of time” thing, but he could confidently say it had been days. He’s had some long talks with April both over the phone and when she dropped by to visit.
He talked about the Krang jackpot they hit, the things he had been working on, how Leo was thinking of following Spiky Raph’s suggestion of going to an abandoned warehouse to question the Krang directly and finally get a straightforward answer to where her dad was being kept at.
April in turn would talk about Splinter.
“I tried. I tried to be better than my own father was to me, I thought I was, but somehow… somehow…”
“...you ended up acting just like him?”
She had shared the audio of the conversation she had recorded on her phone when sensei first went to see her, and based on that she would talk about theories and what-ifs of his childhood and what he grew up considering normal.
“Crying… how emotional. My father would be so… disappointed…”
Her hypotheses were probably oddly accurate, scarily on point. April was good at these things, he knew. He had evidence . She could read him like an open book even though he didn’t express emotions and intent as clearly as his brothers could.
Sometimes his voice was too dry, his face too stiff, his words too unfiltered and blunt. Somehow, April still managed to get the true intent under all of those social blunders, and answered to what he was trying to say more than she did to his actual words.
“Like, can you imagine if you had to take care of someone and the only example of parenting you had was Splin—”
“There’s also this symbol that’s engraved in all the Krang stuff,” Donnie interrupted, tired of talking about Splinter’s probably-very-crappy childhood and how yes, they would have probably ended up replicating the experience if they ever had someone younger depending on them.
He appreciated the data, but it was enough for today.
“Oh, what symbol?” April didn’t comment on the abrupt change of topic, giving him an understanding pat on the shell, the part of him that was less sensitive and thus could be safely touched more often than not.
He mildly wondered how a softshell would manage before dismissing the thought. He would rather not think too much about his counterpart.
“This one,” Donnie showed her a photo he had taken of the ‘flower made of hexagons’. After tampering with the contents of the stolen box most of them were turned into different things, for different projects, and thus the engraved symbol wasn’t visible anymore.
“Huh, that looks kinda familiar.”
“Yeah, we just don’t know where it’s from.” And although Donnie could investigate, he was already working on so many other things.
The combination of the Patrol Buggy with the Shell Raiser, the prototype for a possible interdimensional gate, the adjustments to the Spiky-bro rolley, the skate hill assembly for the Lair Games, improving the trackers to the panic buttons, checking on the city cameras at Leo’s request to find the safest place to interrogate a Krang, giving maintenance to the arcade games that were starting to glitch and Mikey’s music player, making Leo’s IP address untraceable so he could start to join online groups of Space Heroes more safely.
In comparison the symbol’s meaning was useless. The answer to a question that probably didn’t even matter, but they were just curious about, was low priority.
“Let me see if I can find anything,” April nodded at the indirect request, taking out her cell phone. Donnie handed over his own, so she could send herself the picture.
“Thanks April,” he remembered to voice out loud after a short pause.
“Thank you , Donnie,” April smiled, handing the phone back, “you’re always doing your best to help out everyone.”
He snorted and gave her an appreciative, soft shoulder-shove. He could use some appreciation from his brothers on that , for sure. Honestly, they were so used to him doing all these things that they took him for granted more often than not.
But Donnie still loved them, and giving them things was still his go-to method to let them know, so whether he felt loved , appreciated or not wasn’t relevant.
“I like to help,” Donnie admitted sincerely, facing away from April’s too-aware gaze. “Anyways, thanks for dropping by for a visit, I like seeing you in person.”
He genuinely did like to see her in person, he had more data to work with than he did over the phone, and it was nice to spend time with someone that understood . He liked her visits.
“Me too, Donnie. Before I leave though… uhm, have you thought about— you know?”
Even if she tried to encourage him to interact with Splinter more often than not.
“I’m too busy to withstand his learning period, ” Donnie huffed, making air quote marks with his fingers. “I’ll talk with him once all my projects are over.”
And he was never done with his projects. Everytime one concluded a new idea would pop up and take up the vacant space. Exploring ideas was fun. Dismantling old trash, stuff to get materials to create something new was exhilarating , a reminder that he was useful, could help himself and his family with his inventions, that he had earned a place in his family.
That he was worthy of love, even if he rarely felt loved.
“Donnie—”
“You’re gonna be late April,” Donnie reminded with a quick smile, gesturing at the door as he turned his back on her. “I’ll be fine, stop worrying about it.”
He hadn’t needed Splinter in years. A few days without interaction wasn’t the end of the world.
April sighed. “I’ll drop by again soon, yeah?”
I’ll keep trying, was the underlying end of that message, both promise and threat.
“I’ll be here,” Donnie agreed all the same, figuring it was a small price to pay if it meant seeing his best friend.
“...Donnie?”
“Hm?” He grabbed his welding face shield.
“You don't have to be productive to be worthy of love.”
He froze mid-motion.
“You know that, right?”
“...uh-huh.”
“You’re great Donnie.”
“You too,” he answered on autopilot with a touched smile, still not looking at her. The words were warm and comforting, like a careful hug or a turtle pile in winter. It was hard to describe, but it was pleasing.
Donnie heard her retreating steps and the lab’s door close, and he let his mind wander even as he continued to work.
Words were his favorite form of appreciation, he decided.
He could tolerate Mikey’s overwhelming need for physical contact, and they got along a lot better now that they had figured out the whole “you can come into the lab but don’t mess up my things,” problem.
In the end Donnie had assigned him a desk, and Mikey started to draw in there while Donnie worked on his projects. It had taken away the novelty of his lab, and the incidents just stopped happening. Mikey also had his rubber bracelets and handmade rings to play with now, and the bluetooth communicators were adjusted so he could have music playing softly on one side. He now could focus a lot better thanks to the combination of all of those factors, most of the time.
Mikey could help with some simple tasks of his projects too , giving occasional bouts of “this is so cool,” when admiring his inventions. Donnie had never felt more loved.
Leo was a lot less Splinter-ish now too. He was catching himself more, whenever he was meddling where it wasn’t called for, when he was being too controlling and overprotective, when he gave orders in the lair that were not related to missions or his leader position. He was starting to make some time for his own hobbies now, and had almost shyly asked for help so he could safely join the Space Heroes online forums.
Donnie was happy for him, but.
“I knew I could count with you, Donnie,” Leo had smiled, patting his head like he was some sort of small child and that had made Donnie recoil with a frown.
Leo had apologized, but Donnie had just rolled his chair away from him and asked him to leave the lab. Sometimes, Leo was very good at accidentally making him feel inferior. Leo was the leader and the older brother, he was the one they went to for help, sure, but his brothers came just as often to Donnie. They were equals, they should be equals.
Ugh.
The mannerism and the way Leo said things sometimes weren’t very great. Donnie still felt like their love depended on the fulfillment of the tasks he was handed over, that Donnie’s sense of worth was tied to how productive and useful he could be.
And then there was Raph.
“Dude, that’s awesome!” Raph surprisingly said when Donnie showed off the new vehicle project, sometime after April had left. “Have I ever told you how great you are?”
Donnie had turned around to give his brother a dumbfounded stare. Did he hear that right?
“No?”
“Well, I’m saying it now,” Raph grinned sharply, giving a light punch to his shell. “You’re badass, this thing is awesome, we can totally steal all the Krang stuff you want with this shit, and the Big Guy can even ride in with us.”
“Yeah Donnie, this is so cool!” Mikey said next and woah , ok, so two out of three brothers had been, at some point, kidnapped and replaced with verbally-appreciative doppelgangers.
Donnie smiled, mildly wondering if there was a way to make the change permanent.
“Yeah,” he snickered, leaning sideways to lightly bump Raph with his shoulder. “It needs some major adjustments, but I will get it in working condition one of these days.”
There was just no way to fit someone as big as the snapper with the go-kart's original design, so he had dismantled the Patrol Buggy and instead started to work using an abandoned subway car as the main vehicle. He was looking into placing the individual go-karts in their own compartments so they all could go separate ways from the Shellraiser if needed.
Or at least, that was the gist of it. It was a work in progress.
“At this point the issue is that something of this size requires a larger energy input than the one I have available from the previous—”
“I’m not that bored Donnie,” Raph snorted and moved away. He probably meant to be playful, given the crooked smirk and quick glance to the ceiling, but Donnie still felt a pang of hurt at getting interrupted.
Right, no one cared for what he had to say, for what he liked , for his rants, he had been stupid for forgetting that.
“The races we could have, so many transit fines!” Mikey giggled to himself, probably not even noticing the interrupted start of his explanations. “Ohhh, wait, wait, Raph we could paint it, we totally could—”
“No shit, you always get insufferable when it doesn’t go exactly as you’re imagining it—”
“I’ll let it pass this time!” Mikey defended, as they both opened the door to step out of the lab.
“And I say you’re full of bullshit.”
“Language,” Spiky Raph scolded lightly, sparing a glance to his retreating brothers before stepping into the room, carrying a tray of food in one hand. “Hey Donnie, I brought you something.”
“I’m not really hungry.” He was usually too immersed in his projects for him to notice when his stomach was empty anyway. But it was ok, if his vision started to get blurry and walking turned difficult then that was his cue to go get something.
“You don’t have to eat everything right now,” Spiky Raph said simply, giving him the bigger plate — ohh tuna sandwich, ok he could eat something right now. This tasted better fresh — before turning around to leave small portions of food in random places of the lab.
Bottles of water, fruits, nuts, candy, granola bars, dried meat, and overall an assortment of things that would not taste bad even if they stayed exposed and uneaten for long periods of time. That was… thoughtful.
“You didn’t have to,” he shifted in place uneasily, feeling oddly… in debt. Like he had to give out something to compensate for the gesture, otherwise— otherwise what? Would it be lorded over him? Used to ask for something else he didn’t want to give?
“You should get out of the lab more Donnie, we miss ya’ out there,” Spiky Raph said softly, giving him a slow blink like he was interacting with a cat instead of a teenage mutant ninja turtle, but the snapper was always like this so it wasn’t surprising.
“I’ve got many things to do,” Donnie shrugged, “I want to have the car up and running soon, but the issue is that something of this size requires a larger energy input than the one I have available from the previous—”
He grimaced and interrupted his own rant, taking a final bite to finish the tuna sandwich instead. Stupid, nobody cared for his stupid rants on topics they had no interest in—
“So like a larger battery?”
Huh?
“I mean, that’s a simple way to put it, yeah?”
Spiky Raph looked at the car and tilted his head. “Weren’t the shiny things in the box kinda like batteries?”
Donnie blinked up, perplexed for a second time in the same day. Why did the snapper remember that? Sure Donnie had ranted about the loot they had taken from the Krang, about the materials and overall functions and the overwhelming amount of possibilities for their use, but he hadn’t expected anyone to actually listen, much less remember a part of it.
“Uh, they uh, they do generate energy, yeah. It’s more about how to control the output so it doesn’t overwhelm the circuits, because that would result in an abrupt release of heat, light, and sound energy.”
“So it would go boom.”
“It goes boom, yeah,” Donnie snickered and swayed in place, feeling warm and oddly giddy. It was rare for someone other than April to indulge him, his hands were itching to start working on something— ohhh he could go on a rant of his most interesting project at the moment!
“Besides, the Krang cells of energy are compact and light, much better to use on this beauty!” Donnie skipped to the opposite side of the lab, gesturing at the working table. “Look at this, the current model is too small for most of the generators I could find in the dumpster, making it bigger would complicate the overall function, but the smaller it is, the less space I have to work with, so the Krang batteries are best used here.”
The snapper loomed over his shoulder. “Yeah, that’s pretty small.”
“It is! It needs to be, because—”
Donnie went on a monologue, thoughts scattered across materials, theories, designs, and functions, exactly the same way as he himself scattered, moving from one end of the lab to the other, gathering materials and tools as he continued to talk, talk, talk.
Surprisingly, Spiky Raph stayed to listen and asked questions. Sure they were sometimes pretty dumb questions, but he was genuinely trying to follow, genuinely listening and trying to understand.
“You're so talented Donnie,” the snapper said at last from his cross-legged seat on the floor, the tip of the tail wagging lightly as he smiled up at him. “I think a huge part of it went over my head, but it sounds pretty cool!”
It gave him a rush of warmth and dopamine unlike anything else could. Donnie giggled in a way his brothers would have made fun of, unable to keep still as he shifted in place, feet moving up and down and up and down, because: “This is a pretty interesting challenge, yes! The first time was an accident, but now that I need to recreate the same effect with just half of the equation available? I need to put in more effort!”
Spiky Raph suddenly stilled. “Oh, this is— this is for the portal?”
“Yeah!” Had he not mentioned that before?
“Oh,” the snapper’s smile grew wobbly, eyes shining with something Donnie couldn’t name. “So the Krang tech really is helping you out?”
“It is! Same as when we make time to study ninpo, it all contributes,” Donnie nodded, still feeling warm and energetic. He stepped closer to pat the snapper’s head, remembering he was like Mikey in terms of comfort and physical needs of affection. “So thanks.”
The bigger turtle gave out a deep rumble, tail wagging happily as he tilted his head upward and nuzzled at his wrist. Pfft, a giant cat— or a bear, bears could rumble too, yeah, a bear purr was probably more accurate, kinda like a motor—
“Thank you Donnie.” The words were soft but laced with the kind of genuine, touched gratitude he just didn’t receive often from anyone other than April. Donnie squeaked a startled laugh and stepped closer to hug the snapper’s head.
His family was used to Donnie’s inventions and gifts, they were used to him offering to do things for them. They said thanks, yes, but it was an afterthought, like they were more focused on the gift itself and Donnie just happened to be standing closeby in the background.
They didn’t know the amount of time and effort that went into them, so it was understandable, but still somewhat disappointing. This kind of interaction was so rare, it was appreciated.
“I really appreciate you,” Donnie decided to share that fact, snickering when the rumble grew louder. Big bear goes purr, Mikey would say, and that just made him feel all the more lighthearted.
“Thank you so much for everything Donnie,” his Rad— no, what? — Spiky Raph had replied softly, and he had chuckled one last time and stepped back, shooing him out so he could ignore the label that came from nowhere , continue working without interruptions.
(x)
Donnie usually felt joy and pride whenever he finished the Beta-version of something. He usually would be dying to try it out as soon as possible, to be able to see what needed further improvements, to bring it out of its Beta phase and into working conditions, to succeed at something he had set for himself.
But as Donnie looked down at the device; small, easy to overlook, almost deceivingly so for the function it was supposed to accomplish…
This… was the first time the completion of a beta-version brought nothing but grief.
Interdimensional travel was awfully unexplored, for obvious reasons. He didn’t know if— he wasn’t very hopeful on being able to… keep both worlds connected, the way he had originally thought he could.
Which meant that once he was successful, then that was the end of it. There was a painfully high probability that none of them would be able to see Spiky Raph again.
No more bear purrs as background noise for the turtle piles. No more cooking sessions. No more lulling gestures and ‘Big bro lifts’ moving him away from the desk and to his hammock. No more attentive ears, and the thud, thud, of the tip of the tail hitting the floor rhythmically would forever be lost to the void of the portal gun he held in his hands.
The big turtle had become part of the family during his stay here. The idea of him leaving was…
He didn’t want to do it.
But not doing it wasn’t an option either. It wasn’t like the snapper could stay with them indefinitely, Donnie knew that. There was another version of them waiting for his return in his home dimension, he had…
He had his real family waiting for him.
The thought filled his chest with something acidic. He didn’t know how to label the sentiment but he didn't like it, and thus, he scoffed at the Beta invention in his hands and put it away. Out of sight, out of mind, he wasn’t going to continue working on that today. Not today.
Except that had been the plan for today. He had known it was close to completion, he had known he would be able to start Beta testing phase… and now, even when he tried to work on other things, his mind kept coming back to his paused project, mind insistent that he should be working on that, he should be, no matter how much he didn’t want to.
Donnie grabbed his head and groaned, pacing up and down his lab. He should, he should , but he didn’t want to say goodbye, he didn’t want to lose part of his family, he didn’t want to go back to how things were before.
In the end, his feet brought him outside his lab without any conscious input from his part, right towards the source of his dilemma.
“Donnie?” the snapper paused his weight-lifting, concern clear in his features. “What happened? Why are you crying?”
Crying?
Donnie sniffed, passing his fingertips under his eyes. Indeed, they were wet.
His eyes were starting to burn, vision growing blurry every so often as he shivered. He tried to speak, but there was a knot on his throat preventing any words from coming out so he couldn't, he wanted to but he couldn’t.
“Oh Donnie… it’s ok, come here,” Spiky Raph said softly, bending down to pull him into a loose embrace.
Too loose, Donnie needed— he wanted to know that he was still here, still with them, still real. He wanted a firmer hug, so he trembled and leaned forward, sniffing brokenly as he pressed his forehead against the other’s plastron, hands grabbing the edge of the spiky shell as he tried to return the hug, trying to pull closer.
Big arms tentatively grew a bit tighter, but it was still too loose, so Donnie groaned and headbutted the plastron, frustrated at his incapability to express himself properly. Stupid. The way words eluded him was absolutely stupid. Dumb, dumb, dumb!
“Firmer?”
Donnie nodded quickly.
The arm finally encircled his shoulders and pressed him into a tighter hug, one hand rubbing comforting circles at his shell, which made Donnie sigh and slowly, finally , start to relax a little.
Contrary to what his brothers believed, Donnie was aware of his own faults. He knew he could snap and be more insensitive than usual when he was tired but still refused to sleep. He knew his family was just trying to help him get some rest when they interrupted his projects… but he hated changing plans, hated the uncertainty, hated not being in control when he was in his lab, his safe space.
Spiky Raph had a calming presence. Donnie still couldn’t understand how he managed to worm his way into his carefully organized schedule, but he found he didn’t mind too much the change of plans in favor of sleeping or taking a break to eat. When he was around it was easier for Donnie to feel sleepy, relaxed, warm, understood…
Spiky Raph was really a Rad.
Donnie sobbed with renewed vigor. He didn’t want to lose his big brother, but he knew it was unavoidable, he just—
“It’s ok Don, it’s ok. Raph’s here, Raph’s got it…”
But he wasn’t going to be here forever, he wasn’t— he was going to go back to his dimension, he had to leave, and Donnie couldn't keep the worlds connected—
“Deep breaths… listen, like this….”
The chest Donnie was hiding in moved as the snapper took a deep breath, and he found himself shakily imitating the rhythm. In and out, in and out…
“Are you ok?” Rad asked softly, and Donnie wanted to answer but he couldn’t speak yet, so he simply gestured at himself, whispering a strangled: “Dumb.”
“You’re not dumb, Donnie,” Rad frowned, even if his voice was still soft. “Why’d you say that? What happened?”
He gestured to his throat with a choked whine, frustrated.
“Dee can’t talk when he’s distressed either,” Rad reassured, carefully cradling his face with one palm to clean the tears with his thumb. “Mikey said that it's called going nonverbal. It happens Donnie, that doesn’t make you dumb, your head is just too overwhelmed to talk right now and it’s ok to give it a break. Give it time.”
Donnie sniffed, making a mental note to research “being non-verbal” once he stopped feeling like shit. For now, he just sobbed and closed his eyes, stepping closer to hide against the larger plastron again. He needed a break from visual input, it was… it was too much…
“It’s ok to give yourself a break Donnie,” Rad insisted, tightening the hug once more. “And there’s more ways of communicating than just with words. You came to see me when you started having too many feelings, yeah? And you let me know you wanted a hug! See, that’s not dumb, that’s very smart! You are very smart Donnie, you recognized what you needed and—”
Donnie could feel a wobbly smile growing as the rant of praise continued. He gave a shattery snicker, slowly pulling away, just enough to be able to speak clearly, even if he was still unable to withstand eye contact. Staring at unmoving plastron was easier.
“...Rad?”
If the snapper was surprised by the nickname he didn’t let it show in his voice, simply answering with reassuring softness. “Yes, Donnie?”
“I— I don’t… I was supposed to work on the… on the portal today. It was supposed to be today. But I can’t— I couldn’t…” words were still difficult to come by.
The snapper stopped breathing for a second.
“Did it… did your invention go wrong? Did it blow up?” He sounded terrified by the idea.
Donnie shook his head negatively.
“Ok.” The snapper deflated with relief. “Then… you wanted a break?”
Donnie choked a sob and nodded.
“Oh Donnie,” Rad sighed sadly, rubbing circles at his shell once more. “You don’t have to ever, ever feel guilty for wanting a break. We’re not robots, we all need to rest. It’s ok to rest...”
The issue was that he wanted a forever-break from that project. It wasn’t out of need of sleep or substance, it wasn’t about taking care of what he needed as a living organism to survive, he just— he just didn’t want to work on it anymore.
“Are you mad at me?” he whispered brokenly, and Donnie knew he was being a very shitty brother, he knew this was low even for him, and the last thing he deserved was to hear—
“Of course not, Don,” Rad sounded at the verge of tears too. “ I’d never be mad at you for this, please trust me on that. Please take care of yourself too.”
Donnie didn’t deserve the words, the kindness, the comforting hug; but he still soaked it all up like a greedy sponge.
“Rad?”
“It’s ok buddy…” the snapper didn’t seem to have heard him.
“Rad?”
“...yes?”
“O-other than because you miss… because of nostalgia. Why?”
“...I don’t understand. Sorry buddy, I’m kinda dum-dum at the moment. What are you asking?”
Why the hurry to go back?
Which was a very stupid question, the logical part of him knew. But he still wanted to hear it, for some reason.
“I’m struggling. With that project…” That was one way to put it, he wasn’t lying, if the snapper interpreted it inaccurately it wasn’t Donnie’s fault. “And I— I just wanted to know. What do you… wanna do?”
“Once I go back?”
If you go back, Donnie corrected in his head, but outwardly he just nodded.
“I’d hug them all to death first thing,” Rad chuckled softly, sniffing.
Donnie risked a glance upwards, but the snapper seemed lost in thought, looking dreamily at something far away as he stared at a wall.
“I’d ask for us to sleep in a turtle pile for the whole year. I’d… I’d pull Leo aside because he always keeps the front up with others, but I want him to know none of this was his fault, and… and I’d put my head on pops’ lap so he can hold and pet me… but mostly I just— I’d just sleep at peace, knowing everyone is ok. Because right now I’m not— I can’t—"
Rad made a distressed noise, tail slamming the floor once as he curled in himself.
“Raph’s not there to protect them, who’s gonna protect them if something goes wrong? Raph can take a hit, Raph can take on the big and strong opponents so they don’t have to, Raph can shield them from harm, Raph is the Red Angel of Preventing Harm!”
The words rushed out in a worried frenzy, chest now heaving agitatedly. Donnie patted his plastron, in both an attempt at comfort and to call for attention, since Rad was now crying freely.
“Raph just wants them to be safe and happy, I just— I just want to see Dee smile and do his excited flappy hands, and go out with Mikey to help him paint a wall, and….”
“Rad, it’s ok Rad,” Donnie whispered, knocking at his plastron until the taller turtle hiccupped and finally turned to look down at him.
Donnie opened his arms in invitation for another hug. The snapper surprised him by letting his arms fall as he collapsed on his knees, shoving his head at Donnie’s chest as he cried with renewed vigor.
Donnie hesitatingly wrapped his arms around his head. For someone so tall and strong, he looked very small, almost… fragile, like this.
“Sorry Don, so sorry…” Rad sniffed, “didn’t mean to onload on you…”
“It’s ok.”
“Raph’s thankful for your help, Raph knows it’s hard, Raph gets it…” The snapper whispered, still hiccuping, and Donnie squirmed guiltily, uncomfortably.
Because even after hearing all of that, his mind still conjured the perfect path he could take. A way of offering comfort, a way for all parties to be happy, even if he didn’t even know if it was a correct assumption or not.
Rad was crying and he wanted to bring comfort, in the end that was what mattered the most. Thus, he ignored the part of him that was whispering a hurried, no, no, no, and took in a breath to speak.
“Rad, this is— this is just a theory, but… but I think there’s a possibility that… that the portal that brought you here was a temporal wormhole in the time-space continuum, not just space.”
Around a 0.25% probability, but it existed, he wasn’t lying.
The snapper sniffed and shivered, slowly pulling away to give him a confused look.
Donnie was going to get cold feet if he met his eye, so he turned to face the wall instead. “It means that… that if that hypothesis is correct, then you’d go back to the time it was when you left. Like, just a short amount of time would pass in your dimension, even if for us it was… longer…”
Much, much longer.
Rad gasped softly. “Then my brothers would be— my family would be—”
“Under that hypothesis, they would be right as you left them—“
“SAFE!” the snapper exclaimed abruptly, laughing tears of joy as he grabbed Donnie and pulled him into a tight hug, cheek rubbing at the top of his head in a way that was ticklish and made him squirm and squeak a startled giggle. “THEY WOULD BE SAFE!”
“Y-yeah.”
“They wouldn’t be sad or miss Raph either, because it would be just a short time for them!” Rad churred happily, chest vibrating along with the sound in a way that never ceased to be fascinating. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you Donnie, you absolute genius!” The snapper snickered happily, squeezing him half to death.
“Uh-uhm…”
“Oh, sorry,” he laughed, words still lighthearted and dosed with relief as Rad finally let him down. “Too much? Sorry Don, haha, I just— I’m just so relieved. I really can’t thank you enough!”
“Um…” There was something twisting in his gut uncomfortably, but he still nodded.
“Don’t grow humble on me, where’s my happy genius?” Rad snickered, grabbing his shoulders with a hearty squeeze. “Donnie, you are and will always be the brightest turtle on this Earth!”
“Um,” this would usually make him feel warm and happy, but…
“And we all are very grateful that you’ll give us a head start once you start to take over the world!” Rad grinned playfully, the rhythmic thud, thud, of the wagging tail framing the sentence.
Donnie snorted at that, an amused grin slowly growing in spite of the rest of conflicted feelings. “I’m not taking over the world…”
“Who’s taking over the world?” Mikey’s voice reached him, and Donnie turned just in time to see his brother step in with Raph’s old stereo in his hold, leaving it on the floor nearby the entrance.
“Donnie is!” Rad laughed, gesturing at him.
“I’m not taking over the world,” Donnie repeated.
“But if you did you would totally give us a head start, right?” Mikey joined into the joke, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pressing his cheek to his face.
Donnie chuckled and nodded, for once not minding the contact too much. “I guess, yeah.”
“See? It’s the thought that counts,” Rad winked, which made him harrumph another amused snort.
“You are silly.”
“Who, me? A dum-dum?” the snapper gasped dramatically. That’s not what Donnie had said, but it seemed to be an internal joke aimed at him, oddly enough. “Can’t deny it! But you love us dum-dums all the same, right?”
“Yeah,” Donnie said sincerely. If anything, the problem was that he loved too much—
“Enough to spare us in the world domination plan?”
“...maybe,” Donnie smirked with a hum, making a thinking pose. “What are the benefits of your service if spared?”
“I give the best hugs!” Rad laughed, immediately demonstrating his claim with one warm embrace as he trapped them both. “No one can out-hug me, I’m the master!”
Donnie deflated and nodded, convinced. “I can confirm the veracity of that fact.”
Planet Earth was more ocean than land, the sun was a combusting star, and Rad gave the best hugs in the history of ever.
“Hey, my hugs are very good too!” Mikey said, mockingly offended, and Rad huffed a laugh and released them from the hug, taking a step back and kneeling with his arms wide open.
“Is that so? Then prove it, little guy!” The voice was playful, coated with warmth. Inviting, always, always welcoming.
Always safe, always like home.
“CannonBall Tackle!” Mikey screeched a war cry as he ran the short distance to Koala-cling to one of the snapper’s sides, like he was trying to become a turtle-shaped sticker.
“Pfft, good try, but can you do this?” Rad smirked in a joking challenge, picking Mikey up to lift him in one palm, like his brother was a toy airplane that the snapper was playing with.
Mikey squealed in absolute delight, but still complained. “This is not even a hug anymore!”
“Fine, have it your way then!”
Mikey was now squeezed to death against the plastron, right before the snapper spun around in a quick movement that made Donnie dizzy just by looking at it*. His little brother seemed to love it though, if the enchanted laughing was anything to go by.
“Donie, heeeeeelp!”
“I told ya’ no one out-hugs the master!” Rad growled playfully, tail wagging wildly. “Admit defeat and I’ll let you go!”
“NEVER!”
“WRONG PICK!”
Donnie smiled at the scene, reassured that Rad could be happy here too, the snapper had a family with them as well. He could go back to his origin dimension at some later date no problem, for now he could just… stay here, stay home.
Don’t postpone it for too long, the part of Donnie that was a better person pleaded. Not for too long.
Donnie nodded to himself as he turned and walked out of the room, making a mental note to resume the project in a few weeks. Having it be as ready as it could be without testing was… the least he could do, he supposed. He still didn’t want to try it out, didn’t want to perfect it, didn’t want it to work.
He could make it not work. The snapper wouldn’t ever know it was an intentional fluke, he would just assume Donnie was trying and failing.
That would work.
That would make him a horrible brother.
He grabbed his head in distress, guilt still churning acidly in his torso. He wanted to throw up, all of the sudden. He should— he should work on the portal…
But if he did that right now he would end up not-so-accidentally sabotaging it, he knew himself too well to at least admit that much.
He should calm down first, work on accepting… the loss… (mourning, the word was mourning ) before working on it again, so he wouldn’t self-sabotage. Yes, that’s what a good brother would do, that’s what he should do.
Conscience temporarily soothed, he covered the device with a protective case, placed a mark on the calendar, and moved on to work on something else.
He was just postponing it for a few weeks, what was the worst thing that could happen?
Notes:
Check out TEB AU collection, we have two new stories from JaySong54 Raph with TATOOS and this a journey of the 12 bros getting clothes! kskskks it’s so well done!! Look at the FANART!!!
FANART OF THIS CHAPTER All the Raph-hugs fluff!
AUTHOR NOTE
*This was inspired by the free “Bumper Bros” ROTTMNT game on the Nickelodeon website, the way Raph spins is hilarious!
You know shit is about to hit the fan when a chapter ends with “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Ahhhh I’ve had most of this chapter as a draft ever since… idk, ch 7 or 8 maybe. The waiting times have just made it angstier QuQ Donnie noooo!
It’s ok, it’s just a temporary setback, Don’s better than that, he would come around and do the right thing eventually… if he had that time to reflect, that is. Perhaps under the hands of a more merciful author.
Since the important healing bits have been explored in-depth, I will now begin playing with time-skips, as you may have noticed (Rad did get a weight lift sometime offscreen!) Who knows what’s going on in those time skips, away from our eyes? Have fun with that HAHA!
Don’t forget to vote for this fic in the TMNT AU Competition dunno how far we may go, but it’s fun!
As always, thanks for reading! A special hug for those that take the time to interact with this story in any way you so choose (kudos, AO3 comments, Tumblr, Discord, fanart, snippets) you guys always brighten my day <3 I feel appreciated! *sends virtual hug*
Also special thanks for Alicat54 help with Beta reading this chapter, I usually spend a long time re-reading the same thing over and over!
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
Chapter 21: Shredder
Notes:
FANART
The 12Bros getting existencial crises Ch 15-16
and Ch 18 fluff and Ch 20 Raph-hugs fluff! and
TMNT AU POLL FANART TEB POLL propaganda Pt.1 Tall Boi // Pt.2 My legacy is Turtle Man Boobs WHEEZE // Pt.3 Raph with all seven little brothers! // Pt.4 Raph with all seven tiny bros, with *shenanigans* // Pt.4.5 TEB Leos with bats // Pt.4.5 Poll 12-Rise fam piling on Raph lmao // Pt. 5 Polls shenanigans with Redline AU // Pt.6 Polls shenanigans with Sewer Punks AU (ONE) (TWO) (Three) //
Pt.7 Polls shenanigans with Snapdragon AU // Pt.8 Polls shenanigans with Lab Rats Sons AU // Pt.9 Polls shenanigans with Two Arms Left AU // Pt.10 Polls shenanigans massive x-over // P11. Poll shenanigans massive x-over Therapy edition
TEB AU based on the pizza puffs episode
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Shredder
(6K words)
The mission for tonight was to check out in person the abandoned warehouse Donnie had found for Krang-questioning. Splinter had offered to accompany them, but things were still a bit…
Well, some days were better than others, and today the kids had wanted a break from the awkwardness, the tension, the ups and downs as the rat mutant tried new things with varying results.
In the end Splinter had, essentially, assigned two days for group activities, one day of the week for him to spend “individual quality time” with each of the four teens — Raph had told him he would rather not have one day for him, happier to be involved on group activities instead — and one for Splinter to meditate and be by himself.
From what the teens had mentioned, the first individual “session” was basically spent quite awkwardly with them answering questions like students may during a written test, choosing the option that most resonated with them.
“They were all sappy weird shit. Like, he would read out loud a couple of options and I’d have to pick,” Rafa was complaining to his brothers, skating while handstanding as a way to practice for the oncoming Lair Games, “ I feel loved when a special person is touching me or Acts of service make me feel loved? Come on, what does ‘Act of Service’ even mean!?”
At least Splinter was trying. Today was supposed to be Group day, but the teens were kind of done with the previous attempts from the week, and wanted some alone time for themselves to exchange anecdotes.
“It’s when someone does something to help you ooooout,” Mikey said, doing an artistic pirouette in the air with his skateboard. “Usually without you asking! Weheeee!”
“Like what? And dude, stop spinning, I’m getting dizzy just by looking at you.”
“Nah, that’s probably ‘cause you’re standing upside down,” Leo teased, playfully shoving Rafa to the side, which made the teen lose his balance and jump to skate on his feet once more.
“Like helping with chores, maybe? Like when we cleaned your room,” Raph tried to give an example as he sped up between them, so he could hover closer to Mikey.
“I was there for the cleaning though, it’s not like you did everything,” Rafa said, trying to get back at Leo by kicking him off balance.
“That’s mixing it up with quality time!” Mikey jumped and rolled with an excited squeal, obviously enjoying himself.
“Wow Mikey, you know a lot about this,” Leo said with evident surprise.
“Couldn’t Splinter have explained the concepts before popping the quiz?” Rafa groaned to the night sky as they all jumped from one building to the next. “I probably answered half of those things wrong because I didn’t even understand the question!”
“And that’s why I’m skipping the learning curve,” Donnie huffed under his breath at the back of the group, eyes fixed on the map his Tphone was showing. “We need to turn to the right on the next one.”
“A learning curve is needed Donniee— eeaak!” Mikey squeaked when he leaned too much to one side.
“Mikey!” Leo shouted with concern, but Raph had been worried something like that would happen, and thus was close enough to catch the teen before he fell off completely, tail flipping for balance as he slid to a halt.
“Woah, thanks!” Mikey laughed while koala-hugging his arm, still in good spirits.
“No problem, little guy.”
“Ok, it should be straight ahead now,” Donnie motioned with his head as he slid to a halt as well. “Just a few more blocks, then to the right again—”
“Guys, guys, look!” Mikey gasped, pushing himself up until he could sit on Raph’s shoulders. “It’s a glowing hand! It looks so pretty!”
“We’re on a mission Mikey, remember,” Leo pleaded for what was probably the fifth time tonight.
“But that store is new! I’d remember a big, pretty hand lighting up the window—”
“Mikey, that’s one of the things you gushed about the night we first got up to the surface,” Rafa rolled his eyes.
“Raph, stop distracting him—"
"But it's literally the first thing he saw!"
Leo facepalmed. “Guys, we’re not in a residential street but we still need to be quiet. Come on, consider it practice for ninja stealth!”
“I’m telling you it’s new!” Mikey insisted.
“It’s been there since day one!”
“Guys!” Leo whispered more urgently, looking three seconds away from smacking his brothers.
Raph snorted under his breath, raising both arms to grab Mikey and let him down. “You guys wanna race?”
“Huh?” Mikey looked up at him, argument forgotten.
Raph smiled playfully. “The first one to arrive at the warehouse gets an additional pizza slice.”
“Shell yeah! I’m gonna kick everyone’s butts!” Mikey declared.
“In your dreams,” Rafa smirked and shoved him playfully, “y’all are gonna be eating my dust.”
Donnie perked up and immediately darted ahead of everyone without a word of warning.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” Mikey gasped affronted, strapping the skate to his shell to run after him.
“Get the cheater!” Rafa yelled a war-cry as he ran after them.
“Good luck catching up!” Donnie taunted with a far-away laugh, completely unrepentant. He was much more lively after his heart-to-heart with Leo earlier that week.
“That… that actually worked,” Leo groaned fondly, half amused, half frustrated.
“I can’t stand formal orders and training, as you’ve probably noticed,” Raph smiled sadly at him, “but I can play just fine. And they can too, yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll do that next time,” Leo snorted, strapping the skateboard to his shell before jumping at Raph’s back. “Come on, let’s catch up.”
“Noted Captain,” Raph winked playfully and moved forward, because any and all references to Space Heroes always made his brother giddy.
“Pfff, dude,” Leo snickered under his breath, grinning from ear to ear. “Lame.”
“Excuse you? You have no room to talk Mr. I use boring letters like ‘A team’ and ‘B team’ for quick breakups. That’s so LAME!” Raph teased as he jumped across rooftops, quickly catching up with the rest of the teens.
“I don’t like being B team!” Mikey immediately whined.
“Yeah, that sucks,” Donnie agreed in a deadpan voice.
“Then propose something better,” Rafa huffed simply, now running at the head.
“Listen, listen, Mikey and I? Sunset duo,” Raph shared proudly, “Donnie and I are Brains & Brawn, and Leo and I were Purple, mostly because Donnie hated it ‘cause that’s his color and Leo wanted to bother him, but technically red and blue do make purple, so we used it for like, a week. In the end we changed it for— ”
“Ohhh, what’s the name for Donnie and I?” Mikey asked, jumping at the part of his shell that Leo was not occupying. Raph leaned sideways to accommodate the added weight.
“PB&J for the peanut butter jelly meme!”
“Isn’t jelly red?” Leo asked, making his little brother gasp.
“The strawberry one is, but there’s other kinds of jelly!”
“Hmmm, we could be Sun and Science,” Donnie muttered simply, making a hand signal for the group to stop.
“Ohhh yes, yes, that’s much better than B team!”
“Sun? Donnie that’s so cheesy,” Rafa teased, lightly punching his brother’s shell.
Donnie quirked an eyebrow, confused. “Why? It’s just a fact. Mikey has enough charm to mimic the sun’s gravitational pull, he’s bright and warm and can befriend pretty much anyone—”
“DUDE!” Mikey cried and jumped off Raph’s shoulder to hug-tackle the ever lights out of Donnie. “I thought it was just because it’s orange, why are you so sweet—”
Donnie may have crashed painfully if Raph hadn’t moved his tail to somewhat cushion the fall, but ouph that was close.
“Too squeezy, make it less squeezy Mikey—”
“Wow, it’s even cheesier than I first thought,” Rafa laughed teasingly, grabbing one of Mikey’s legs and dragging him away from Donnie. “Ok, now I’m curious, how would you name us—”
“Blunt and Sharp.”
“Hey, why does mine suck!? Give me something like Mikey’s!”
“Not all of us can be The Sun ✨, Raph~”
Rafa squinted. “Did you just sparkle at me? And don’t start, Mikey—”
The banter continued as they moved forward once more, energetic but discrete as Leo reminded them that they were getting close to the warehouse they were meant to investigate.
The first impression Raph got from the place was that the building was in bad shape.
Not in the ‘it could collapse in any minute’ kind of way, but in the ‘there’s probably at least three nests of rats here’ sort of way. It was so dusty they all were sneezing every few minutes — the brats teased him for having a “kitty sneeze” so Raph growled playfully in their direction — and there was an assortment of trash, rags, odd stains of oil and paint, not to mention the overall rust and spiderwebs.
It wasn’t the most welcoming place.
It was perfect.
For tonight, they were just here to help Donnie place cameras, both inside the warehouse and outside to evaluate the surroundings, just so they could be certain the place would remain empty by the time they brought a Krang here for questioning.
The teens followed Leo’s instructions and separated to cover different areas more quickly. This kind of delicate work was not Raph’s specialty by any means, so he remained close to the door, to ‘stand guard’.
Watching the empty street was incredibly boring though. There were no pizza pigeons to gush over — what kind of NYC didn’t have pizza and pigeons? Somehow that was weirder than the lack of colors and multitude of people — so he ended up focusing on his little brothers more than anything else.
“That's amazing Mikey!” he whistled when the youngest easily reached the highest spot on the ceiling after a series of incredibly acrobatic jumps.
Mikey grinned at him and dabbed. Raph snorted, even as the memory of Leon overlapped with the exact same pose.
“Pfft, not bad, but watch this!” Rafa smirked like a cat about to pounce, calculating something in his head before going up to his assigned section of the warehouse. He didn’t use the pirouettes that Mikey preferred, opting instead to prompt himself up by taking advantage of the assortment of abandoned objects in his area, moving quick and precise just like— ohhh, parkour! Raph loved parkour too!
Rafa skid to a stop and looked down at him. Raph could feel his tail wag lightly as they exchanged grins.
“King of the mountain!” They both said at the same time, flexing their arms upward triumphantly. This was really fun!
“Oh, is this a competition then? My turn,” Donnie spun his new metallic bo staff around — which wasn’t necessary by any means, he was just showing off, or stimming — and Raph inwardly snorted at the thought of all Donnies being dramatic theater kids.
The scientist dashed forward, closely followed by a laughing Leo. Those two had been acting a bit odd around each other for some time, but a few nights ago they had finally talked out some things, and were now growing a much closer bond. Some things never changed, Raph supposed. His disaster twins had passed through something similar as well.
The teens seemed to be having fun as they showed off their overall skill and “ninjacity”, skirting around the warehouse’s ceiling and very much moving all over the place using an assortment of showy tactics, the cameras’ installation somewhat forgotten.
Raph was content to watch and shout excitedly along with them for the most part, but…
“Oh, I know! Look at this, look at this—” Mikey started.
“No, no, at this!” Leo laughed, carefully pushing Mikey to take the same spot.
“Hey!”
“I can definitely jump from here. Dude, look—”
An assortment of four different “look here, look at me!” called for Raph’s attention, and he turned between the multiple teens indecisively. He couldn’t keep tabs on all four of them at the same time, he needed another adult here. Was this how pops felt whenever Raph and his brothers competed for his attention—?
Wait. Pops?
Raph shook his head. Why was he comparing himself with his pops…
Better not think too deeply about it.
He was four years older than his brothers, but even with that age gap, even though he had somewhat understood that his little bros needed more attention than him, that it was natural for pops to put their needs first, it had been… difficult , to say the least.
He had often felt jealous of the tots. One time, when he was still a stupid kid, he had felt so left out of the family time that he had tried to leave their hideout in a stupid tantrum. He had gotten himself lost in the process, and his pops had ended up meeting Savage for the very first time—
“You’re not looking!” Mikey’s voice scolded, and Raph blinked out of his reverie, looking up at the teens once more.
He tried to imagine their circumstances. Four same-aged kids, all with different needs and all having grown up constantly competing, trying to one-up each other for many things. For training, for playing...
...and for attention from a single parent figure.
Raph didn’t have all the details, but he now knew that their tall Splinter was someone that also had also been dealing with his own process of mourning, for his wife and daughter, mourning the loss of humanity… he was someone that had not focused too much on those individual needs.
It was no wonder they all competed for attention to this degree, but they were already spending individual time with Splinter… so why were they… acting like this around him?
What role was he inadvertently taking?
“It’s been fun guys!” Raph shook his head and waved them off, already turning around to look outside once more. “Hurry up so we can get to the outside-ones and leave, I’m getting hungry.”
“Oh right, who gets the extra pizza slice in the end?”
“I was the one to arrive first—”
Raph stepped out of the building, tail curling anxiously around his ankle.
No, it was better if he didn’t think too deeply about it.
(x)
They had barely been able to wrap up the camera-installation mission, when they received a ping on the panic button from both, April and Splinter.
They had rushed back to the lair as fast as they could, and were now reunited in Donnie’s lab.
“So you just followed them into the building!?" Donnie scolded with obvious concern. “April!”
"I mean, the Krang was literally waltzing down the street without disguise, all robot-blue in full display!” April justified. “Of course I had to follow it—"
"To find which building they were getting into, not to follow them inside! You could have died, April—”
“I was careful, they didn't notice me,” April reassured, even if she did look mildly guilty. “It was kinda scary though… I'll wait outside and call you guys next time, don’t worry.”
Donnie nodded energetically in silent “please.”
“Glad that was cleared up,” Leo sighed. “What did you find, April?”
“I overheard two of them talking. They're trying to perfect the mutagen formula, so they will test it at mass scale. They’re gonna put a mutagen bomb in the Wastewater Treatment System…”
Rafa scowled worriedly. “If that goes off it’s gonna spread throughout the whole city, the sewers, the ocean—”
“They'll turn New York and closeby area into a disaster zone,” Leo finished, horrified.
Raph inwardly shivered. The oozesquitos had been a pain in the shell, but they had been unintelligent, and thus ended up infecting more animals than they did people, which could be easily relocated to the Hidden City. If Big Mama had had the mutagen… if she had been able to set it off at such a scale… it would have been much more damaging to the citizens.
“The amount of people infected…” Raph muttered under his breath.
“We would be able to make friends,” Mikey said without filter, hiding his head inside his shell when everyone turned to look incredulously at him. “Sorry, didn’t mean it.”
Raph patted his shell comfortingly. These kids didn't have anything like the Hidden City, they had no place where they could have a semblance of a normal life, where they could walk around among other mutants and yokai without worrying about how they looked.
We could take them with us. What does this world have to offer them?
Raph hummed, inwardly agreeing with Puffs. He hadn’t talked with any of them about that yet though, he didn’t want to pressure Donnie too much. The last time he had asked about how the portal-thingy was going the scientist had frozen and completely shut down…
The ninpo studies have stopped.
What did that have to do with anything? Maybe they weren’t needed anymore, Raph inwardly shrugged. Maybe Donnie was still sad about disproving his theory of time running differently among dimensions.
The scientist had mentioned that to Raph, just one day after first sharing his theory, eyes glued to the floor and shuffling in place in obvious distress and shame.
"I don't think it's true, and I'm sorry, I know that's not comforting for you... I shouldn't have said that at all..."
Raph had reassured him that it was ok. Donnie must have noticed it wasn't true, because he had paddled closer and patted his arm comforingly. He had said he would keep working on the portal-thingy, and that he would have good news soon.
Raph believed in him, and had told him as much.
Second needs to hurry up.
Raph knew that, but he couldn't help with this, and the process couldn't be rushed. That day had been a rough one... after getting the news, he had been so disheartened that he had gone for a swim in the lair's pool, mind reeling about all the worst case scenarios—
There is a fish smell.
...no, there wasn't. Puffs could be so weird sometimes; and the fact that he was still so close to the front was... weird.
Raph was concerned about Mind Raph’s absence.
Something was wrong, something had happened, and their system was now incomplete. What was worse, it was missing their Gatekeeper, and Raph now had to tolerate Puffs as the stand-in, even though he was terrible at it— Rude — and kept giving unnecessary commentary — Well fuck you too — that Mind Raph would not.
“Ok, so we intercept the mutagen cargo and get rid of it,” Leo was the first to settle in a course of action.
Donnie shook his head. “Destroying the cargo is no guarantee it won’t go off. We have no way of knowing if they have more, and at this time they may be already arming the bomb.”
There was a short pause of silence as they processed the information.
“Then what do we do?” Mikey was the first to break the silence.
“Disarm it,” Leo said with an air of finality, nodding at Donnie.
“I don’t— I don’t know if I can decipher alien tech that fast—” Donnie stuttered when his brothers all stared at him expectantly.
“But we have to, Donnie,” Leo said worriedly. “We don’t—”
“We’ll find a way to stop them,” Raph interrupted, giving a reassuring smile to the teens. “We’re in it together, we’ll make it work.”
“How?” Leo scoffed, frowning confusedly at him. “We can’t just waltz in with a general objective in mind, we need a plan!”
Walking into situations with nothing but the objective had been exactly Raph’s way of leading the team, which mostly worked out. His brothers had known what they were and weren’t capable of, and adapted accordingly to whatever situation they found themselves in.
“We don’t know shit about—”
“Rafa.”
“— how many Krang we’ll be facing or if the bomb is completed or not, so I say we get going,” Rafa gestured at the exit with a thumb.
“But we still need a plan!” Leo looked at his brother, concern and fear barely disguised in his expression.
“We do not have the time, nor the intel to formulate something more elaborated,” Splinter spoke at last, finally stepping forward so he could place a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “I will go with you, we will stop this threat together.”
Raph glanced at the overall group. Mikey seemed to be waiting for Splinter to at least look at them too instead of focusing only on Leo—
And after a short pause with holded breath, their father did.
“A bomb is a delicate craft, if we cannot disarm it then we may need to focus on removing the mutagen,” Splinter instructed, walking among them to pat Mikey’s head — who absolutely beamed under the gesture — and Rafa’s shoulder, who seemed to begrudgingly relax at the prospect of their sensei helping them out for this mission.
“A mechanical explosion would present a lesser risk to the population,” Donnie nodded at Splinter. “We can do that if everything else fails.”
“We will work together,” Splinter smiled down and offered a clawed hand. Donnie looked confusedly at it, but in the end he did take it, even if it was to give an odd formal handshake like they were making some sort of verbal business.
Well, at least they were in speaking terms now, even if Donnie still refused the individual sessions.
April groaned and facepalmed somewhere at his side, for some reason. Raph patted her back by reflex.
When the rat mutant turned towards him Raph nodded wordlessly. Splinter was coming with them for a dangerous, unknown mission, instead of leaving them to their own devices. That was an improvement.
"There's another thing," April mentioned with a heavy sigh, taking out her cellphone. "Remember the symbol you sent me, Donnie? I've finally found where it comes from."
She showed them the picture of a building.
"T.C.R.I." Rafa read out loud.
"The Techno Cosmic Research Institute!" Donnie gasped. "So they're related to the Krang? That... that would explain some things..."
"Ok, let's review that more in-depth once the bomb has been dealt with," Leo nodded, focusing the attention of the group back to the matter at hand.
“We really need a vehicle,” Donnie groaned, glancing tellingly at the dismantled motor resting within the lab. “Guys, the Shellraiser isn’t finished so… we don’t have much of an option but to use the individual go karts to move or we’ll be late.”
"Weren't those still in the works though?" Mikey asked.
“Not exactly. Come with me,” Donnie gestured with his head, before halting mid-step to look guiltily at him. “Um, Spiky Raph, you won’t…”
“Fit.”
“Yeah,” the scientist deflated, rubbing one arm uneasily, “sorry, I was looking into fixing that but…”
“Raph’s got it.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Just tell me where the Treatment Plant is and I’ll take off on my own right now. We may arrive around the same time.”
If he hurried, they probably would be just a few minutes off from each other!
(x)
Damn it all, Raph was lost.
He looked at his panic button indecisively. If he pressed it the GPS signal would go out and they would deviate from the mission to come pick his dumb spiky shell up, but what if they didn’t make it in time to stop the bomb? What if they were already there, in the middle of battle and the signal just made them worry, or distracted them and someone got hurt?
This wasn’t an emergency, Raph was just lost. This NYC was too different from his own, aside from the Statue of Liberty and Central Park, it was practically a different city entirely!
He should have asked for their phone numbers. Stupid, stupid, what was the use of getting signal for his phone if he was still unable to call or text anyone in this world!? He was so fucking dumb. Dumb-dumb-dumb—
Raph growled at himself under his breath. If this were his New York he would be able to drop by and ask for directions, but the people here wouldn’t—
“Turtle!” Someone called from below?
Huh?
Wait, he had seen that man before. He was… yeah, he was the celebrity cardboard Mikey had in his room. Perhaps their version of Lou Jitsu? In any case, the guy didn’t seem neither surprised nor scared of seeing a mutant turtle, and that was all he needed to know.
Don’t go to him, search for higher ground. It will grant us better visibility—
“Hey!” Raph cut off that thought while giving a friendly wave, hopping down the rooftop to land right close to the man’s side. “Can you tell me where’s the Treatment Plant?”
He is a human! Puffs growled in his head, pushing as he tried to force his way to the wheel.
That knows of mutant turtles! Raph growled back, standing firm right at the front. He could handle this, he didn’t need anyone else to do things for him, particularly when Puffs’ hatred, mistrust of humans was coming off so strongly.
Puffs meant well, Raph knew he just wanted to protect them, but… he was also the one that remembered, and thus the one that carried most of Draxum’s influence, whether he liked it or not.
Sometimes it was better to not look too deeply into it, just ignore him.
“You’re not—” the man looked startled, taking a step back with a mix of shock and fear, “you’re not one of them.”
“Uhm, yeah,” Raph smiled sheepishly, hunching his shoulders and bending his knees to make himself look smaller, to appear less threatening. “Sorry to bother ya’, but I really need to get to the Treatment Plant. Can you tell me where it is?”
The man frowned distrustfully, taking a fighting stance. Martial artist confirmed! Maybe this really was their Lou Jitsu—
“Why?”
“Um.” Did this person know about the whole Krang situation? Or was he more an acquaintance than a friend to the teens? Shoot, how much to tell? “I need to catch up with the guys there. They’re in danger and I need to help them! I swear I’m not a bad guy, so please…”
“The guys? You mean the turtles?”
Raph nodded his head so quickly he made himself dizzy, and the man finally smiled and tapped something on his phone.
“You could have said so sooner. Follow me big turtle, I’ll show you the way.”
(x)
(x)
(x)
Karai had been disillusioned with her father for years now.
Ever since she got the new haircut, as ridiculous as that sounded. The day she had escaped from their main headquarters and dealt with her bodyguards to be able to go to the hair salon.
When her long, straight black hair was cut into a minibob, with the base of her neck shaved and tinted blond, she had been expecting some yelling, yeah. Both for leaving alone without notice and for her new appearance, considering how her father always went on a tangent about just how much she resembled her mom.
She had been both: right and mistaken.
The Shredder had been furious, he had yelled at her, yes, but he had also demanded a duel, and for the first time ever the blows were accompanied with the sharp claw gauntlets, even though she was fighting unarmed, and the attacks—
She held her arm absentmindedly.
The attacks had not spared her previously unmarred skin.
She let her fingers trace the scars adorning her arm. They weren’t visible right now, what with her skintight black fabric and armor covering the affected areas, but she had done it so often in the solitude of her prison cell, room that she could still trace them accurately above it all.
Her skin had gained scars that day, which seemed to infuriate Shredder even more; even though he was the goddamn cause. She had been locked up like any other prisoner for a whole week because the stupid Shredder just couldn’t stand looking at her new appearance.
Looking at her and seeing just how not-her-mother she had become.
Karai had had a whole week of solitude to deal with the betrayal, the tears, the pain, the shock; and come to an ugly, but truthful conclusion.
That a large part of the ‘love’ that had protected her depended on her resemblance to her mother. Because her father— no, the Shredder, had loved her mother.
He had loved her more than he ever did Karai.
The way he treated her had changed drastically. Ever since then, the Shredder would disregard Karai most of the time, ignoring her suggestions, ideas, and concerns. He had even gone as far as to threaten her life once, if she didn’t shut up and do as he said, essentially.
She was just another soldier now, wasn’t she?
Even worse, she had refused to accept that fact. At first, and for a shamefully long amount of time, she had tried to regain what she had lost. She had tried to earn back that lost love, respect that her father, the Shredder had once given her, but no matter how efficient she was on her missions and how many things she did right, how well she followed instructions or how she stopped her teasing and lighthearted attitude when she was with him… no matter how many times she tried…
In the end, she was punished much too often for incredibly stupid, petty reasons, because “it can go back to how it was, just stop this foolish behavior and grow back your hair.”
Her room was confiscated stupidly frequently, to the point it stopped being a safe place. She had ended up willingly migrating to the prison cell that Shredder had used to lock her up instead.
Karai kept the new haircut. She gave it maintenance in the solitude of her chosen cell-like chambers, often with a kunai because even the most basic amenities were also stripped off along with her room until she “came back to her senses,” and “stopped this stupid teenage rebellion,” to be “more like her mother.”
She used her weapons to cut it off, keep it short. She kept the style, and kept the prison cell, so she would never, never forget that her father— that the Shredder’s love was conditioned to her stupid appearance.
So she would never forget that he loved her mother more than he ever did Karai.
The scars were also a good reminder of that, of course, but she had no control over those. Her hair on the other hand, she could style it up however she so wished.
She inwardly scoffed at it all, even as she remained carefully silent in her current concealed position.
She was going to escape from this place, one day.
One day, she would find a way to run away, she would find a place where she could keep herself safe and hidden. She would find a way to deal with both the Shredder and the huge syndicate of organized crime he commanded.
She couldn’t have a normal life, but maybe she could focus on the protecting side of it instead of the mercenary kill-for-hire one. Maybe she could be a bodyguard or something. Maybe she could live with Shinigami—
“Karai!” Shredder called a command. She immediately jumped off the ceiling and took a knee, keeping her gaze fixated on the floor.
She would be punished if she looked up or was disrespectful. Ever since the haircut, she was no longer allowed to be casual with the armored man.
“At your command,” she recited emotionlessly.
“Bradford is certain the Hamato clan will reunite at the Treatment Plant tonight. Gear up, we will part immediately.”
“Hai,” she bowed her head lower, waited for three seconds, then marched away without risking eye contact.
She didn’t love the Shredder anymore. She could barely tolerate the trashcan of a man, but…
But she hated the one that had killed her mother even more.
If Tang Shen hadn’t died when she was just a baby, maybe Karai wouldn’t have had to live through so many things, maybe she would have had a normal life instead of making a living of fighting and killing. Who knows, maybe her father would still be her father, instead of just the Shredder.
It was all the killer’s fault. He had to die, preferably by her own hand. Only then would she be able to close the cycle, and only then would her life start to get better.
For that, Hamato Yoshi had to die.
(x)
(x)
(x)
The snapper had yet to arrive, which was understandable given he was running on foot unlike them. But Splinter was not overly worried, the mission was going well so far.
Defeating the Krang sentinels had been easy, thankfully there had not been too many of them. Stepping closer to the machine though—
“Oh-oh.”
“No, please, don’t oh-oh!” Leonardo exclaimed, panicking as the countdown of the machine got closer to ten minutes.
“I— I didn’t expect it to have such a complex design—”
“It’s alien tech, they’re not gonna give you a manual on how to disarm it—”
“Of course not!” Donatello snapped back. “But this is—”
Raphael shoved Leonardo aside. “I sure hope you guys don’t spend the next ten minutes yelling!”
“Donatello,” Splinter interceded at last, a bit disappointed at seeing them run in circles. “Think carefully. What other options are there, if disarming it is not safe?”
His tallest son groaned a waverly “uh-uhm,” as he took a closer look at the mix of colorful cables and blinking lights.
“It’s too large for it to be drained of mutagen as we had first thought…” Leonardo muttered with a pensive pose.
“It’s too large to function like the smaller bombs do too!” Donatello exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “We probably can remove its power source! I’ve worked with enough Krang power cells to identify them—”
“Donnie! The pink shiny and boomy-looking thing is here!” Michelangelo waved over from the opposite side of the machine.
“There’s gotta be more than one for something this size. Guys, help me locate them!” Donatello instructed right before jumping up to meet with the youngest.
“On it,” Raphael nodded, exchanging a glance with his oldest before splitting up in different directions.
Yes, this was more like it. Their teamwork was not perfect, but it was marginally improving all the same—
…was disarming a bomb the moment for team training on these matters?
No, probably not. Tang Shen would have been disappointed in him, he needed to be better than this.
“Pink, shiny, and boom-looking,” Splinter repeated the description to himself, already hopping up the top of the machine to help them out—
Something whistled in the air, the sound of something small and sharp headed in his direction. Splinter dived out of its path, eyes widening for a fraction of a second as he glanced at the symbol embedded into the fallen shuriken.
All around them, a big group of Foot clan ninja surrounded the area.
That was not the problem.
“Your skills are impressive, ratman.” The silhouette of an armored man voiced out loud, the mocking praise horribly, horribly familiar as he jumped down to land at Splinter’s level. “But that will not save you."
“Is that—”
“The Shredder?” Leonardo whispered to his brothers from somewhere above.
“There is undoubtedly a fascinating story about how my nemesis came to teach ninjutsu to four mutant turtles,” the man admitted lightly as he approached, the glint of metal reflecting warningly from his razorsharp steel gauntlets.
The same weapons he had used to kill Tang Shen that night.
The revelation was like a douse of cold water. Splinter could feel a horrendous mix of dread, sorrow, and cold fury settle in his chest as he flattened his ears and silently snarled at the one responsible for his greatest nightmare; the one responsible for his greatest sorrow.
The one life he regretted not taking when he had the chance to.
This man had already stripped him from his family once. This man was responsible for killing Tang Shen, Miwa, his father, and his clan. He had burned down his home and everything he had ever loved, everything that had once mattered to him.
“Perhaps I will let one of you live for questioning,” the Shredder taunted, face twisting with the shadow of a smirk as he looked at his sons.
Every single hair of his fur bristled; Splinter would not let history repeat itself, he would sooner die than allow this monster to even breathe the same air as his family.
“You will not touch my children!” He snarled a firm promise, both warning and threat, as he dashed forward.
This was the one life Splinter would take without guilt.
Notes:
I'm changing posting day to Saturdays. SATURDAYS.
Welp, I promised fluff if TEB passed the first round of the Tumblr tmntaucompetition and we did soooo here ya' go folks! Enjoy Savage having a chance at making happier memories <3 I'll add more one-shots and snippets here as time passes by! TEB One Shot(s)
AUTHOR NOTE:
I really like how the last sentence came out. Because, honestly, the Hamato clan was a “benevolent” ninja clan but in modern times they probably still were very much Mercenaries. I believe Splinter may have tried to instruct his kids on the “killing is bad” path, but Splinter may not have received that same courtesy from his father… who knows? He escaped to NYC at 35 y.o. so that’s plenty of time to learn the “family business”, eh? Specially if he was meant to succeed his father as the Clan Head.Anyway, the written piece for Karai was heavily inspired by this Tumblr post and this one this too go take a peek if you find it of interest! <3 I really like the parallels between Karai’s conditions and the Raph-Draxum relationship. Not all kinds of “love” are good…
Ahhhh this chapter was very plot-heavy, and IRL got crazy hence the long waiting times, thanks for your patience~ I hope the read was worth the wait! I send you lots of hugs and good vibes n.n
Also last but not least, a big THANK YOU! To my Beta readers: Chloe and Li They've helped me quite a bit with this chapter, and I appreciate it very much!
Thanks for reading & interacting with this fic in the form of kudos, comments, Tumblr, Discord, Fanart, Writing, Animatics, Songs- this fic has grown so much and I'm so happy I could explode. Please know that I'm smiling and stimming happily everytime I get to interact with you, dear readers! <3
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 22: Retired
Notes:
FANART
A COMIC! OF THE FIRST CHAPTER! and TEB CH22 Prediction! and AU POLLS FANART TEB x Mystic Forest and TEB x Ghost in the Shell and
Extended Family Flower! No fights RIP
Snapdragon Muffin! and Muffin and TEB Hokey
Massive x-over PHOTO and CHEESE
SailorMoon Saga LMAO KARAI 1 and KARAI 2 and THE FIRST and R!SHREDDER and SLAYDER BROS and R!SPLINTER
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Retired
(7K words)
Quick reminder: First = Rafa // Second = Donnie // Third = Leo // Fourth = Mikey. Rise Counterparts in the same order but One, Two, Three, Four. TW: On-screen minor character death. Not detailed.
The panic button flared to life.
The small, discrete ring it gave was in a frequency that could not be easily heard by humans, but Raph heard it clearly like a sharp whistle and a deep vibration, both contrasting at once.
He immediately skid to a halt atop of a rooftop, ignoring the angered call “we’ll be late! ” of the human guiding him to take out his phone and look at the alert.
Leo had used the panic button. The GPS was showing him at… not the opposite direction, exactly, but they were off by a wide margin all the same.
Too wide a margin to be a simple mistake.
I told you not to trust him. Puffs growled as Raph’s breathing grew erratic, fear and dread coiling in his stomach as his mind ran through all the worst scenarios. What was the emergency? What if the bomb had gone off? What happened to mutants that were exposed to even more mutagen? Had they found an opponent Splinter couldn’t take? Had Splinter separated from the group for whatever reason? Had Leo? Were they alright, what if one of them was injured, bleeding to death, or worse—
If Raph hadn’t trusted, if he had done what Puffs said, if he were there already his little brothers would not be in danger—
“You’ve just noticed, haven’t you?” the human that had been leading him astray mocked.
Unrepentant, uncaring, the man sounded like he was having fun at seeing him in distress, and whatever thin thread was keeping him in front grew thinner, because Raph couldn’t do this, he was too stupid, too brash, and his brothers needed someone that actually knew better than he did—
Their baby brothers were in danger, and they were the big brother, the one that was biggest, and he needed to move, to protect, they needed to run to their side, find them, reach them on time—
Our brothers don’t need Raph right now.
He was five again, he was five and small and stupid and defenseless. The shift was usually kinder than this, with Mind Raph pulling a too-small Raph into a comforting embrace…
But right now there was no one to whisper reassurances at him, no one to make him feel accompanied and safe and protected—
Fights are do or die. And I will do; so nobody we care for has to die.
Right now he only had the threatening promise of a pissed Puffs, and the overwhelming mix of fear and anger that Savage projected at the mental picture of bleeding tots, so Raph curled on himself and shivered, hiding away as he took refuge within his own mind.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Know your enemy, take note of their strengths and weaknesses. Analyze the situation and determine the best course of action.
The fighting exercises might have been against mutated animals, but the end goal had always been to wage war against humanity, so the lessons on strategy always had focused on that race.
Humans could survive without limbs, and could recover from some internal damage, he remembered those teachings very well. Humans were either fragile enough to succumb to ridiculously weak diseases, or strong enough to have a car run them over and still survive to tell the tale.
Humans had individuality , what worked against one may not affect another, so it was easier to target the weaknesses they all shared as a race.
SLAM!
The head was one such point.
“No… no! You can’t do that, you can never, never do that!” The memory of Four’s desperate voice resonated in his mind, a reminder.
It was fine, he reassured to the memory. Subject One was not going for the kill, but a concussion would keep this fake guide down. He tried to measure it so it would be temporary impairment instead of permanent , although even in the latter scenario the loss didn’t matter much to him.
He was a retired soldier. Retired . But if a soldier was what his family needed, then a soldier would be the one to come to their aid.
And truly, under other circumstances Subject One may have trapped the fake guide, tied him to a post so he could come back after the crisis was dealt with, to obtain more intel — who did he work for, how did he know of his brothers, why bother leading them astray? — but right now the priority was to ensure his brothers’ survival, and every second wasted on the human’s capture would tilt the odds against his family’s safety.
He looked at the glowing red dot on the map, secured the panic button in the right belt compartment, and took off.
His complexion was big and heavy. He could either move fast or move discreetly, but not both at the same time, not for such a long distance. Still, he did what he could and ran on four limbs, so he would at least remain closer to the rooftops and be less noticeable from down below.
He didn’t go directly to the point the GPS depicted though. He was not designed nor trained to be stupid .
Once within the perimeter — the big machine with green glowing liquid swirling inside was a very obvious giveaway. These creatures cared not for discretion — he switched directions and headed to the structure that offered the highest viewpoint in the area.
Jumping headfirst into battle was undoubtedly suicidal, and he would be of no use to anyone dead.
He was not made to be useless .
He grabbed the two ninja stationed in the rooftop he needed to occupy, to silence them, to ensure his position would not be compromised, no intel leaked to the enemy. They are not dead—
“You are a retired soldier now, and you will adapt to society or SO HELP ME— !!”
— Four was very adamant about One upkeeping that detail.
The memory of the first time he interacted with his brothers — outside of a battlefield, that is — resurfaced in his mind. He pushed it down, the middle of a crisis was not the time nor place to think too deeply about such things.
He took a second to evaluate the situation from up above.
The downed robotic corpses were spread all around the bomb, but they were not many; not any significant number by any means. There had not been many Krang stationed to guard the bomb… was this a lure, a trap? A distraction from another event taking place at the same time?
Whatever the case, the Krang was not the current enemy, so he pushed that thought to the back of his mind. Right now the ninja — Footclan, if the similarities between worlds held true — was the issue.
The cannon fodder was treated and disposed of as such. They swarmed in a large number, but there were many already dead or knocked out — the latter was most likely — as First and Fourth jumped and danced in the midst of battle all around the big machine, while Second pulled something from it that made the glow dim out completely.
The bomb was fully deactivated. This version of his brothers were dealing with the low-skilled enemy, and he trusted them to be able to succeed without his interference.
He could not see Third, who was the one to request help.
He could not see their Sensei, who was supposed to protect his little brothers.
He narrowed his eyes and closed his inner eyelids, if the enemy dared to touch one of the few lives that mattered…
No. Not on his watch.
The GPS depicted Third to be close to this location. They must be down below, hidden among the shadows and smaller structures surrounding the tanks of water treatment.
He called forward the shielding red that represented his mystical energy, and directed it to pool behind his eyes to mentally search for Third.
He had done this back at the dojo when he first woke up in this world, looking at the walls and doors in search of anything mystical hiding in plain sight. This was a necessary, basic skill for any child yokai, One couldn’t understand why Raph and his brothers were unable to. Draxum’s instructions had been easy to follow.
One had found no mystics hidden anywhere in the destroyed dojo, but curiously enough, Third was the one with the largest unharnessed amount of… something that resembled mystic energy, even if it was not it.
It was enough of an identifier, and enough to trace the owner’s current position since he was already this close.
He moved on four limbs, to at least make his silhouette harder to spot from a distance and down below, hiding behind cooling systems, smaller water tanks, power boxes, and whatever was available in his path as he drew closer to the owner of the faint green energy.
The trace led him closer to the docks, he could hear the waves of the ocean rocking softly against the human-made structure, the smell of salt water mixing up with that of the water treatment system, and feel the humidity in the breeze caressing his face tellingly.
“But that was fifteen years ago! You took everything that I love, everything! And still you hunt me down!?”
The Sensei’s voice reached him, and Subject One stalked closer, as discreetly as he could afford to be, to evaluate the situation.
“You are the one that took everything from me—”
“You are DELUSIONAL! And I will end this! I will end you!”
The short glance of him witnessing the exchange of blows was enough to tell him both parties were skilled professionals of the highest degree.
They were expert martial artists, fighters, survivors, killers . All at the same time.
They were soldiers.
One of them was a familiar rat mutant, his whole being was unprotected . His opponent was human, armored.
“One night, he came to our home armed with razor sharp steel claws...”
Subject One focused on the gauntlets the human was using as his main weapon, nostrils flaring irritably even as he remained outwardly impassive.
So this was this world’s Shredder . His upper arms, thighs, and groin area were unprotected. One eye scarred and unseeing, a large blind spot. A weakness to exploit.
His little brother wasn’t too far away from them, obviously trying to keep his own opponent — human, a young ninja — away from the other two fighters. Subject One surmised the Sensei had purposely led the Shredder away from the small turtles to keep them safe, but the female ninja tried to team up with the Shredder, so Third had followed them to keep her out of the way.
Third’s opponent had short dark hair, a large portion dyed blond. Quick on her feet, flexible, she wore a distinctive black and silver-armored ninja outfit. Joints, thighs, groin, hips, neck and head were unprotected.
“You took Shen from me!”
“She was never yours, you insane bastard—!”
The sound of pressurized gas being released, barely audible over the crashing waves.
“You didn’t just say that!” she screeched with latent fury, kicking Third away as his little brother covered his eyes and coughed harshly, curling in a pained ball with the shell facing the other battle contestants. Lachrymator gas, shit. “You fucking KILLED HER!”
“What lies have you spread to your henchmen!?”
The way she was rushing to the other two contestants was too straightforward, too brash. Emotionally compromised. A weakness to exploit.
Subject One could see the green energy already twirling in response inside Third’s body, moving to contain the damage to eyesight, respiratory and gastrointestinal systems.
Third may be down for the fight, but his life was not at risk, and One will keep it that way. So long his brother remained unmoving, he would not be preyed upon.
Subject One called forth his ninpo, energy dancing on the surface of his scaled skin, just right at the verge of activation. Red bright energy was not exactly discrete, so he would call upon it at the last second.
Muscles tensing like a spring about to bolt, he curled his rear legs and shifted his shoulders, slowing his breathing as he waited for his window of opportunity.
A single hit. All he needed was one successful hit to tilt the confrontation in his favor. Raph and Savage understood that as well, but they tended to rush fist-first into their confrontations, which made them much too predictable and easy to evade.
No, he would wait.
For as long as Third was not compromised, he could wait.
Their Sensei redirected the Shredder’s attack with his cane, so the sharp metal claws of the gauntlet were now directed against the younger human, who barely managed to twist at the last moment so it would graze her torso’s metal protector instead of her unprotected hip. She gave a winded “ ouph!” as she was pushed back.
The two soldiers were familiar with each other's movements, that much was quickly apparent. They strike and dodge like they have done so a thousand times, like they know what the opponent’s next movement is going to be, and not even the occasional interference of the shorter human could throw them off sync.
The sensei’s whole being was awfully unprotected, but he also was the one switching arms as needed throughout the confrontation.
In the next second, the rat mutant used a rope dart to cut a deep gash on her thigh, even as he continued to evade the Shredder’s strikes in the dance of a skilled martial artist, looping the rope to one of her ankles and pulling until she slammed harshly against the wall of a nearby human-made structure.
He was forced to drop the rope to block the Shredder’s next attack, but for now the younger human was not in condition to move too much, momentarily limited to thrown projectiles. Shuriken. Easy to evade and deviate for the most part.
“You are fueled by nothing but your hatred,” the sensei snarled in a low voice as they reached an impasse, closer to the ocean’s crashing waves. “Even if you were to defeat me, you would be left with nothing .”
The Shredder gave a low chuckle at that. “That is where you are wrong. You took something from me that night, Yoshi, so I took something from you as well.”
Subject One couldn’t see the Shredder’s face from his waiting position, but it was apparent something else was implied.
“No, it can't be,” the rat’s ears flattened against his skull, eyes open wide with surprise and horror as he glanced at the injured woman.
“Miwa…?”
“Exactly.”
The Shredder immediately capitalized on that, twisting to kick the rat mutant in a direct hit the other didn’t even attempt to block.
Subject One tensed further, internally cursing as he leapt forward on four limbs.
Not to help the sensei, but because the injured enemy ninja was crawling closer to his defenseless little brother.
He growled to make his presence known, to turn her attention away from Third, with the added bonus of also distracting the Shredder from the temporary vulnerability of the Sensei.
“Fucking shit—” the female ninja lifted her weapon of choice, a wakizashi, as if intending to use his own speed and weight to impale him. Did she think him a mindless beast?
“No, Savage wait— Gaagh!” Whatever the sensei intended to say was interrupted by a scream of pain.
This injured ninja must not be very important for the Shredder, if he chose to attack the compromised rat mutant instead of protecting her.
He reached her in nothing but seconds, body turning so he could slam into her shell-first, while also serving to twist to face the Shredder in the same movement, tail flipping to change directions more swiftly.
The sound of metal scratching against his spikes was drowned by the winded cry of pain and telling sound of cracked ribs as she was pushed away and fell. This time fully unresponsive.
Probably not dead, cracked ribs were not broken ribs, they would not pierce her organs—
“Miwa!” The rat mutant cried out, extending an arm as if to reach her despite the distance. He seemed more concerned for her than he was of his profusely bleeding shoulder.
Emotionally compromised, and thus stupid .
One charged forward with all four limbs. With the plastron facing the ground, the easiest target for the enemy would be his head.
“Stop beast! Or I will kill—”
“Shut the fuck up, Saki!” As if finally registering the Shredder’s presence looming over him, this Tall Splinter finally snapped out of whatever had shocked him, surprise and horror turning into hot fury as he snarled and twisted until he was standing in his uninjured arm, using the full weight of his body to kick the Shredder away with both legs.
The armored man was forcefully pushed back, shifting in place as he prepared to receive the rat’s next attack and counter it.
An attack that wouldn’t come, as the Sensei turned around to rush to the side of—
Not his fallen son, but that of the fallen enemy?
“Do not hold back against him,” the rat mutant hissed a murderous order as they crossed paths in opposite directions, adrenaline and raw anger drowning out the concern and bleeding pain.
That was an order Subject One could certainly follow.
“You are RETIRED!”
He pushed the memory of Four to the back of his mind once more. This was an order he was choosing to follow.
The Shredder’s stance shifted. He would jump sideways, try to avoid the tackle and get a blow to the back of his head.
And thus, at the last possible second, once he was finally close enough…
Bright red covered his vision as he materialized his shielding mystic energy to protect his head, neck, and chest, as he finally assumed a more “human” style and moved with only his two rear legs.
He may not have enough energy to cover his whole body, but he had enough to cover two limbs.
He didn’t necessarily have to direct the limited energy to his arms, however.
Shredder was much too close to react on time. Subject One’s larger size and weight was enough to intercept him when he tried to leap out of the way,
He could punch his face in, make the skull cave within itself.
“No… no!”
But the memory of Four crying was enough to make him change his mind.
He didn’t want these tot-shaped brothers to look at him like Four had back then. The way his brother’s face had twisted with dawning realization the longer he got to know Subject One, with a horrible mix of anguish, sadness, despair.
And a trace of fear .
He opened his palm at the last second, tearing the helmet off his head instead of killing him, causing damage. The Shredder stumbled backwards, tried to put some distance between them, tried to counter and found himself puzzled at the ineffectiveness of landing a hit over his mystic red ninpo.
It was all useless when Subject One was already this close to him, already with his shield active.
He successfully tackled the Shredder off his feet, trapping the human against his torso — he failed to secure one armored arm. Unimportant in the large scale of things — as he ran, ran, and kept running, the sound of metal dragging against concrete resonating victoriously from underneath him.
He could feel the sharp claws of the free gauntlet dig into a patch of unprotected skin. Not too deeply, the Shredder didn’t have enough range of movement for such an attack. The pain and the sensation of blood dripping over his scales was easy to ignore.
“Release me, beast!” The trapped man kicked, trying to make him trip, but Subject One had been expecting that and reacted accordingly, tail flipping as he effortlessly kept up his balance, not slowing down in the slightest.
“Thank you,” Subject One chuckled darkly, “for thinking of me as nothing but a simple beast.”
The best strategy was to end the fight in a single move.
Strategy was the most important thing. Strategy would help him best opponents that were more skilled, stronger, faster than him. Strategy would increase his chance of surviving in the battlefield, and thus increase his chance at protecting the lives that mattered the most to him.
Just one hit, all someone of his complexion and skill needed was just one successful hit, to turn the tide in his favor.
And speaking of tides.
He took in a deep breath, right as he leapt along with his opponent right into the ocean waves.
The struggle of the trapped human increased in rhythm, and yet, at the same time, it immediately turned more sluggish and heavier. Wearing armor had many advantages, but remaining lightweight while submerged in water was not one of them.
Using his large tail to impulse himself underwater, he dived deeper into the ocean, releasing his ninpo so his vision was not red-tinted.
He could now rely on a single arm to keep the Shredder trapped, which meant he could finally grab the free arm that had made him bleed and twist it in the wrong direction until the limb popped out of its socket, a muffled grunt of pain and a weak attempt at a headbutt the only indication of pain the man made.
He was still trying to save his breath, still hopeful to escape and survive.
How naive.
Another lash of his tail, and deeper into the ocean they went to. He much preferred to swim in freshwater than in saltwater, but it was just that, a preference. This level of water present above him would not negatively impact his internal osmotic pressure.
Orientation wasn’t an issue either. He could still tell which way was up and down, even with the almost nonexistent amount of shattered light poorly attempting to illuminate through murky water. The floating specks were almost calming.
Bubbles of precious air escaped from the trapped enemy, as the squirming and kicking was replaced with weak twitches of involuntary spasming muscle.
Humans could not survive without air for too long, that was just another common characteristic of their species. Another weakness to exploit in the midst of war.
“You are RETIRED!”
Not like he intended to use that knowledge too often, of course.
And thus, Subject One simply swam and waited for the encounter to be over, for the threat to be gone. He swam deeper and deeper, almost carefree, and finally allowed for the memory haunting him to replay in his mind.
The first time Subject One had properly faced his brothers was one he would never forget. The array of questions…
Who are you?
He had been an active soldier. He had mentioned as much to them.
What do you like? What do you dislike?
He liked his family. He disliked humanity.
The three of them had exchanged looks at that. Four had put on some glasses, reintroduced himself as Dr. Feelings as he instructed One to sit down on the sofa.
Three’s gaze had sharpened even if his posture remained deceivingly casual, even as he repositioned himself in the perfect place to be able to interfere if he approached them.
Two hid behind a squarish, purple device with a screen, expression unreadable as he took note of everything he answered. Subject One was probably being recorded.
What would you do under these circumstances? Four had asked, detailing an hypothetical scenario with an enemy.
This was familiar territory. Draxum had used to dive into similar exercises during his attempts at teaching Raph to formulate battle strategy. It had been completely one-sided, considering Raph never spoke or bothered to memorize a word, but Subject One remembered those monologues very, very clearly.
How to kill the enemy? The true answer is that there is no answer, Subject One. Not without intel, that must always be your first step.
He had answered Four’s question with questions of his own. Do they have reason to expect an attack? What is available in the surroundings? What species are they? What are they wearing, which weapons do they have? Are they a new enemy or an old one? If old, are they familiar with One’s strengths or weaknesses? Are there any potential allies or enemies in the vicinity? How close or far away is the enemy from his position?
The more detailed the scenario got, the more detailed his answer could become in his mind. He could picture it clearly now.
“I would kill,” One said once he finally had a sufficient amount of intel.
He detailed them exactly how he would do it, given the intel they had just discussed.
Three swallowed and shivered, gaze alert and unblinking. He had unstrapped his weapon and was now “playing” with the handle, the illusion of casualness long gone.
Two was frozen in place, not even pretending to take notes anymore. Coiled on himself, tense, he looked like he wanted to disappear.
Four was silently crying. He remembered the way his face twisted with dawning realization the longer Subject One spoke, with a horrible mix of anguish, sadness, despair.
And a trace of fear.
“No… no!” Four begged with a tearful sob, “you can’t do that, you can never, never do that!”
Was the idea of him pinning the enemy down and crushing their skull with his jaws truly so terrible? Why? It was efficient, it ensured their demise, it ensured the safety of his allies.
“Why?”
“You’re not a soldier, not anymore!” Four had cried, throwing one of the sofa’s pillows at him. The gesture made Three properly grab the handle of his Odachi, positioning himself defensively between the two of them.
Subject One hadn’t moved from his position though. The pillow just bounced harmlessly against the arm he had instinctively raised to deviate the projectile.
“Why not? I was made for battle, I was made for war. I am a soldier—”
“You are RETIRED!” Four had screeched, pushing Three aside to be able to look directly at One once more, index finger pointing daringly at him. “You are a retired soldier now, and you will adapt to society or SO HELP ME—!”
The tirade that followed would have been amusing, coming from such a little pipsqueak, if the air hadn’t tasted like salty tears, if the fear in their postures and expressions weren’t so poorly hidden.
His little brothers were his everything, they had no reason to fear, but something he had said caused that reaction.
He didn’t like that reaction.
“So repeat after me! I AM RETIRED!”
“...I am. A retired soldier.”
He was good at adapting, adapting ensured survival, and adapting would make his brothers happy.
“Good, because reconditioning starts now!”
He had been trained to deploy in a war against humanity. He had been trained to fight with the enemy’s death as his main directive. There was no use for prisoners when the war’s objective was to extinguish a whole race.
But Draxum didn’t hold power over him now. Not again, never again. The one thing that mattered now was not earning Draxum’s love, approval, but that of his family.
So he listened to Four, and accepted the nickname his brothers chose for him — even though it was the stupidest name they could have selected — and repeated to himself that he was a retired soldier until he believed the words.
He adapted and changed until Three felt safe enough to elbow his torso and make bad jokes at his expense, hugging his head sideways and pinching his cheek patronizingly like One was a child — or a very, very patient dog — instead of an 8ft mutant raised to be a war machine.
He adapted and changed until Two could grin mischievously and manhandle him with confidence, pulling at his arm and tugging lightly until One turned around and embraced the air around him. Two would hide and snicker triumphantly in the space near to his plastron as he used One’s shell as a shield from Three’s wrath.
“Hand over the fugitive, Puffs!”
“You know he won’t, Leoo-ser!”
He adapted and changed until Four stopped presenting himself as Dr. Delicate Touch or Dr. More Than Slightly Disappointed Tsk Tsk How Could You, and was just… Four. Happy, cheerful, teaching him how to cook his food so he didn’t have to eat everything raw, telling him that he could pause and enjoy the flavor instead of thinking of it as fuel for his body to remain in shape.
Telling him that he could have his own preferences. His own likes and dislikes.
What do you like? What do you dislike?
He liked his family, he liked to tug at raw meat until it ripped apart between his teeth, and he liked the sound of laughter around him. He liked the fact that he could be perceived as something other than a threat, a soldier, a killer.
He disliked how difficult it was to change. How Draxum’s teachings were still the first thing to come to his mind, how lashing out was still his first instinct whenever he was startled, an instinct that he consciously needed to keep regulating in order to not hurt his pranking gremlins, who thought that sneaking up on a seasoned soldier was the brightest idea to ever illuminate their little empty heads.
He disliked how his first instinct was still to recoil and look down on humanity as a whole. Exposure to April had taught him to tolerate a human’s presence, to be able to push that bothersome fact — her race, something that she had no control over — to the back of his mind instead of being hypervigilant of every little twitch and sound she made every time she visited their lair. She taught him that there were some humans out there that were kind, understanding, and could hold a brain cell for long periods of time, quite unlike his airheaded bale.
Exposure to Cassandra had taught him that some humans were mentally compromised and incredibly amusing. That bloodthirst for violence could be redirected to more favorable endeavors, such as World Domination, something she fully intended to see through as “Grandma CJ" by selling brownies.
And she estimated she could succeed in just ten years.
Subject One had been quite entertained when they exchanged ideas and discussed the subjugation of the human race together.
And then there was Splinter, who once used to be human, who was now a rat mutant.
Splinter was the one he owed everything to, the catalyst of change, the reason his bale was safe and happy, the reason Subject One met the few humans that he could actually grow to care for.
Splinter, the small round rodent that laughed loud enough to hide the scars of his mind and soul, that would not hesitate to squeeze his own heart hard enough to bleed if it meant the ones of his sons would not need to.
Splinter, the one person he trusted enough to follow blindly, whose orders would be respected no matter what.
“For as long as there is a Hamato, there is hope!”
The one Subject One had left to die, as the rat mutant decided to stay and face the Shredder, to buy time so his bale could escape unharmed…
His family was his everything, and his family liked to remind him that he wasn’t an active soldier anymore.
So yes, he was a retired soldier now. Retired.
No more bubbles of precious air were escaping from underneath him.
He was still retired. He was just making an exception for this Shredder, so these tot-shaped brothers would not have to lose their Splinter, in the same way Subject One had been sure he was going to lose his own.
His enemy was fully unconscious, lungs filled with more water than air, and thus didn’t require any help to keep sinking down, down, down into the ocean.
His family is safe from the Shredder now.
Time to turn back and see how the others were doing. The sensei better be taking care of Third instead of spending his time fussing over an injured enemy. He trusted his other three brothers to hold their ground against the remnants of the foot soldiers.
Swimming fast towards the surface, he let his head cautiously peek out of the water first.
There was no sign of a fight, no more battles.
Subject One opened his inner eyelids, and carefully crawled out of the water, shaking the excess off his dripping limbs before advancing.
The rat mutant was cradling the unconscious enemy close to his chest, carrying most of her weight in his uninjured arm, even as he stood close to a coughing Third.
Shouldn’t that position be reversed?
He flared his nostrils, but otherwise did not denote his displeasure as he walked closer to them.
“— do not rub your eyes, Leonardo. Breathe slowly, can you sit up?” Upon closer inspection, One could see the sensei had torn off part of his robe to use as a hand-made bandage for his injured shoulder. The robe was also helping him support the human’s weight.
“It burns,” Third rasped with a nasal, dry voice, lifting his palms to rub his eyes before halting mid-way and coughing miserably.
Subject One made his steps purposely loud, heavy, tail tapping the floor as he approached.
“...who are you?” the sensei asked warily at the same time as Third turned his head in his direction, eyes so irritated they were barely open.
“S-Spiky Raph?”
“You will require cold water, Third,” he answered to his little brother, ignoring the sensei that seemed to care more about the wellbeing of their enemy than he did about his own son. “Stay still, you should not move when visually impaired.”
Cold water should help alleviate the itch and burn of the after-effects. Second probably would have a more accurate idea of what to do afterwards.
“Subject One,” the sensei mentioned out loud as he was correctly identified.
One ignored him, crouching down to carefully pick up his brother, holding him in a single arm. Third stiffened right as One finished moving him. Was his hold wrong? Too uncomfortable?
“Puffs.” Ah, so that was it.
“Correct,” he nodded simply. “I don’t resent you, if that is your concern.”
“You don’t?” Third whispered incredulously, before delving into another coughing fit.
“You require water…”
“Where is the Shredder?” The sensei asked once he stood up to his full height once more. “When… do you recall when Savage went away and you appeared? Do you know what happened to him?”
Savage, huh?
“Let us see how the others are doing,” he said instead of answering, giving a pointed, distasteful glare at the unconscious human, which made the rat mutant bare his teeth warningly and shift in place, shielding her from his view.
One hadn’t even caused her life-threatening damage, what was triggering this protective behavior?
He huffed in the sensei’s direction, lip curling upward for a second before turning away. Checking on his brothers had more priority than whatever this meant.
He ignored the warning, rodent cackling of frontal teeth coming from behind him, and moved forward to reach the water tanks where the bomb had been positioned.
“We can’t leave the bomb unattended Mikey. We removed the power cells so it’s not at risk of blowing up at the moment, but that just means the Krang can easily come and still activate it.”
“But they may need help with— ouph!” Fourth bounced against his arm as One extended it and brought him back from the edge of the structure.
“The battle has ended, our family is safe,” he reported to his brothers, using his tail and free arm to crowd them further away from the edge, closer to the disarmed bomb. At first glance, they didn’t seem to adorn any worrying injury, nothing aside from small bruises and scratches from the scuffle.
“What, then where’s everyone? What’s with the Shredder?” First asked.
“Leo, what happened, your face is all puffy and teary!” Fourth exclaimed worriedly.
“Tear gas. Sucks.” Third sniffed and coughed, trying to rub his eyes once more and being stopped half-way by a wise Second.
“Don’t do that, you'll hurt yourself.”
“Where were you?” First squinted up at him, gaze calculating. “When did you arrive— wait, you’re wet. Did you swim your way here?”
“Raph got us lost, I could locate you only after Third sent the signal—”
“PUFFY PUFFS!” Fourth exclaimed brightly like he was honestly happy to see him, jumping up to sit on his shoulder and hug his head in the most annoying way possible, the little shit.
One’s eye twitched. “No.”
“Piffy, Paffy, Puffy, Puuuuffs~”***
“Please don’t sing, and don’t call me that.” He used his free arm to pry away the little hug-leech.
“You said I could call you Pizza Puffs—”
“Right revoked. For life.”
“Hey, not fair, what did I do!?”
“Hey,” First punched his torso for attention, green eyes still calculating. “What happened to Shredder, where’s sensei?”
“Is he not behind us?” Third asked confusedly, irritated eyes barely open as he turned towards his plastron, as if in hopes of developing x-ray vision to see right through One’s body.
“Your sensei is alright. He received a gash at the shoulder, he will be fine once the injury has been treated, and he stops straining it. For the moment, he is using his own robe as bandages to contain the bleeding.”
“Oh, so that’s why he couldn’t help me,” Third rasped with a small nod of understanding, and One felt a mix of pity and anger at the reality of things.
“Ok, and what about the Shredder? I’ve asked about him three times already—”
“He is no longer a concern,” he stated firmly, lowering his chin to look right at the smaller turtle. “I can assure you.”
“Can you?” the sensei’s voice asked from somewhere behind, something akin to mistrust leaking into his voice.
“Who’s that?” Second asked confusedly, pointing at the human that the rat was still holding.
Subject One simply turned his head to give him a sideway glare, tail flipping irritably. Who was he to judge his mission report? Who was he to act so distrustful when the rat was the one that had an enemy ninja in his arms, the one that kept prioritizing her wellbeing over the one of his own family?
Even now, the rat was keeping himself at a distance, away from One’s immediate range of attack.
“Whatever are you implying?” he asked slowly, the edge of a warning in his tone. He was patient with his bale, but this rat had yet to earn that luxury.
“When did the shift occur, when did Savage retreat?” the sensei asked with a deep exhale and narrowing eyes, chest heaving. Huh, was he getting feverish? “Did you see the Shredder’s state with your own eyes? Because if you’re just assuming—”
He turned to face him fully, slamming his tail against the floor once. The rat mutant tensed and fell silent.
“Perhaps I would trust you with that knowledge, if you were not so overly-caring of a foot soldier. The one that left Third temporarily incapacitated. Why is her well-being more important than that of your own son?”
There was a short pause of silence as smaller feet shuffled somewhere behind him. The rat just bared his teeth and shook his head.
“You do not understand—”
“Because you are not explaining shit,” One snarled. “You cannot demand that I trust you when you refuse to provide such a basic answer, sensei.”
He spat the last word derisively. Coming from him, for all intents and purposes, being just a sensei was an insult.
The rat mutant frowned, shook his head, swayed slightly in place. Breathing erratic, he may have lost too much blood if he was acting like this out of a simple injured shoulder. Was his enhanced regeneration so poor—
…did he have any enhanced regeneration at all?
“This person is… Miwa. My Miwa,” the sensei admitted at last.
Now that the crisis of battle had passed, One could finally stop to recall where he had heard that name before.
“By all means I should have perished under the burning debris, just like my baby daughter— just like my Miwa did…”
Ah… so that was it.
There was a mixture of gasps and a single scoff coming from behind him, but otherwise the silence went on unperturbed.
“Oh,” Second was the first one to break it. “Ok, then… we need to settle on the next steps. So, you’re obviously not ok, we need to bring Leo, sensei and— uh, Miwa? To my lab so I can treat them, but before that we have— uh, an issue with the mutagen bomb. We need to fully disarm it and deal with the mutagen, but for obvious reasons we can’t just drain that into the sewers—”
“A summary, Donnie,” First reminded, knocking on his brother’s shell a couple of times.
“Yeah, yeah, what I mean is, I was thinking using sand or similar may work to contaminate it and render it useless. If it’s not alive then it won’t mutate, probably.”
“Oh, there’s a construction site not too far away, we can totally bring some dirt and debris from there!” Fourth patted One’s arm like the limb was a drum, and pointed in the direction of the site.
“Subject One. My question.” the rat mutant sighed heavily, slowly sitting down. He was in no condition to support his own weight, let alone carry someone else.
“I did see the Shredder’s state with my own eyes, yes,” Subject One answered at last. “Second, if I recall correctly you arrived using a vehicle.”
“Yeah.”
“There are three injured for three caretakers then,” Subject One ordered simply. “Bring them to your station for treatment, I will deal with the bomb.”
“... how do you plan to do that?”
“Enlarge my arms and carry the bomb to the site construction Fourth pointed out. I will tear the machinery apart once the liquid has been sufficiently contaminated.”
Second hummed and mused it over, before giving a sharp nod.
“Ok that works… yes, let’s do that.”
“Put Leo close to me in the co-pilot seat,” First immediately instructed, gesturing with his head to follow.
Second and Fourth stayed with the bomb while One carefully distributed the patients among the available seats. The four “go-karts” could be locked up to form one single vehicle.
First was the designated driver. Third could sit up so securing him to the copilot seat was not an issue.
The rat mutant was feverish and injured, but still conscious, so he could take a seat without issue. Second would watch over his daughter, sharing space to ensure her condition would not worsen on the last available seat.
“I could stay with you,” Fourth offered once Subject One came back to switch places guarding the bomb. “Raph is driving them home, and there were only four seats to begin with, so…”
“They may still be ambushed on their way back, go with them and stay vigilant, protect them,” One refused simply. “I can deal with the bomb on my own just fine.”
Fourth looked up at him with big, surprised eyes.
“You trust me to— you think I can protect them on my own?”
Subject One blinked, unimpressed. “Of course I do, why would I assign you that duty otherwise? Go and protect them Fourth, I will rest assured knowing their safety is in good hands.”
Fourth sniffed a wobbly smile, teary-eyes blinking up at him. Why? What had he said?
“I will!” Fourth rubbed his eyes with the back of his arm, gaze and fierce grin now much firmer. “I can do it! I won’t let you down!”
“I know,” Subject One nodded once, gesturing with his head for the youngest to reunite with their brothers.
Fourth gave a military salute and ran off. Subject One chuckled despite himself. The youngests truly… both of them were so bright. Little stars full of warmth.
Now, to dispose of the bomb.
(x)
At last, the mutagen was dealt with, and the machine crushed like an empty soda can, torn into irreparable pieces.
He could now return back to the lair.
He had expected more trouble when transporting it, but this New York was incredibly different from the one he was used to. The lack of people was almost unnerving, but that fact had served him well to be able to carry the giant bomb with the tank full of glowing liquid without anyone being any the wiser.
It was unnatural.
Subject One mildly wondered if the human population of this dimension was being groomed into bypassing certain oddities without much questioning, just like the yokai’s had done to the cities they used as Hubs to go back and forth into the human side. For how long had the Krang been stationed at this world—
He was being observed.
He continued to move as if he hadn’t noticed, even as his inner eyelids closed once more, directing his energy to pool behind them.
He discreetly moved in such a way that would let him do a 360° of his surroundings, but he could not see any mystic-ness, nor pinpoint the presence of any—
“Rad?”
He tried not to react and failed, as his body instinctually halted and turned to face the source of the familiar sound.
That was Two’s voice, and he sounded incredibly distressed.
Notes:
FANART OF THIS CHAPTER! Shredder's Death in Ch 22 AHHHH THE DROWNING!! as well as TEB CH22 Predictions!
AUTHOR NOTE:
*** Imagine Resse Puffs song tune here xDAhhh this is much, much better than the first draft of this chapter. At least this Shredder got to die in a more merciful way QuQ You can see that first draft HERE but note it's M rating.
I don't have many characters left for a lenghty AN, but I want you to know the Shredder-Karai TEB arc is getting summarized! You can see the details in THIS POST You can send me asks if you're curious about scrapped concepts~
Also last but not least, A MASSIVE THANK YOU! To my Beta reader: Chloe for helping with this revised version of the chapter!!! Thanks to her I've got to realize the first draft was too dark ASDKAHJA!
Thanks for reading and interacting with this story! Kudos, comments, fanart, music, animatics, comics, writing, Tumblr asks, I appreciate it all so much! >w<
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 23: Karai
Notes:
FANART TEB XOVERS: Spot the AU massive X-over! and TEB x Snapdragon and TEB X BSS ASK SPLINTER VTUBER and TEBx2ALxIMBI Hokey polls and Lab Rats Sons x TEB
TEB X Redline Mama Shen adoption and Rad cameo and Raphs bonding and Redline Mikey bonding
TEB x GitS Carrying Nini and BRAINCELL WHO
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ch 23 Karai
(6.8K)
Donnie really had one too many things to do, with three patients to look at and himself as the single medic.
He had asked Raph to help Leo get to the shower, so he could wash off the remnants of the tear gas from his skin.
Sensei had insisted on helping carry Miwa — was this really Miwa? — to the lab to run some tests, and would not take no for an answer even though he really shouldn’t be moving with an injured shoulder, let alone be carrying someone.
Not like sensei would listen though, so Donnie didn’t have much of an option but to allow it.
There was only one space available for the scans, so they carefully left Miwa(?) over the padded surface under the machine, which doubled as the closest thing to a medical bed inside his lab.
Splinter obviously needed to lay down himself though. It would be best if he could lay down in his room or the sofa just outside. Donnie needed to get more beds for instances like this… he made a mental note, adding it to the never-ending list of pending things he still had to get for his family. It was his job to provide these things, if anything not being ready for this situation was a huge oversight…
Fixable, it was fixable. For now, first things first.
“Sensei, you really should—”
“No,” Splinter interrupted firmly with a pained grunt. “I am not going anywhere, not until I have heard her results.”
Donnie clicked his mouth shut and looked away. He didn’t know what else he had expected. Yeah, right, why would Splinter listen to what he had to say? It’s not like he was the goddamn expert in his field.
“Donatello,” Splinter called, this time more softly, and Donnie rolled his eyes but did turn to face him again. “Please. Please, I need to know, I need— I need to be here… please.”
Donnie sighed heavily and rubbed the top of his head. Yeah… ok, whatever, whatever. The mix of blood loss and pain and all this Miwa-is-alive stuff was a bad combination, of course sensei was irritable and concerned and who knows what else. He wasn’t the best at identifying and labeling emotions, be that his own or someone else’s.
Ok, so… he had to focus on Miwa’s analysis in case she had internal damage, but Splinter also needed attention. Thus, in the meantime—
“Mikey, I need you to stay with sensei and treat his shoulder, yeah?” Donnie instructed, handing over the items for his little brother to hold.
“Me?”
“Yes. Shave the area, then you use this to disinfect it, then you grab these and wrap them firmly around. It needs to be just firm, not too tight, not too loose, got it?”
“I can do it Donnie!” Mikey nodded quickly, “leave it to me!”
“Sensei, you also need to take these, just to mitigate the risk of infection since you used your robe to stop the bleeding. Something may have entered your system already—”
“Donatello,” Splinter scolded as he shifted in place, one arm over his wrapped shoulder. “Focus on Miwa!”
Goddamn— ugh.
His impatience may be understandable, but it was still a pain in the shell.
“Mikey, make him take it.” Donnie snapped, giving it to his little brother before turning towards the scanner. “And I didn’t see it, but if the gash is too wide, or too deep, it may need stitches, so let me know what it looks like.”
Mikey gulped but nodded. With that delegated, Donnie could finally focus on the unconscious patient.
He removed all weaponry, metals, and anything that could mess up with the scanner’s results, and put them in a box that he kicked out of the way when Splinter asked him to ‘ hurry up’ again. Ugh, this is why Donnie preferred to work alone.
“Uh…um, sensei—”
“Not now Michelangelo.”
“Sensei please stop moving!”
The scan could not be prompted to work faster, much to sensei’s displeasure, so Splinter had little option but to nag him with impatient inquiries as if Donnie could manipulate the time and make it run any faster.
He could feel a headache incoming the longer he stood there, waiting for the results. Ugh, how unbearable would sensei be if he reported on the scarred skin he saw during the general checkup?
No, better keep that detail to himself for now. Splinter could know about the old scars once things calmed down, it wasn’t like they were threatening to her wellbeing anyway.
At last, in what was simultaneously a short time and not fast enough at all, the results came out.
It seemed Miwa… the could-be-Miwa? How could Splinter know anyway? Whatever. It seemed his patient was thankfully in good shape, all things considered.
No damage to internal organs, the ribs were cracked but not fractured, which meant it didn’t require intrusive medical procedures to treat it, just lots of rest. There was swelling in the area and it was going to hurt like a bitch, so he needed to provide some anti-inflammatories and painkillers. He also needed to keep her torso elevated instead of fully laying down, to avoid straining the bruised ribs.
“Donnie? Sensei suddenly— he fell asleep,” Mikey shuffled from his side of the lab, weight shifting from one leg to the other.
Donnie looked away from the screen and indeed, Splinter had collapsed forward, shoulder still not bandaged even if the injury was obviously shaved and disinfected.
Feverish, he had an infection then.
Mikey squeaked a concerned “please help!” when Donnie spent a second too long in silence, with a shine of something battling in his expression. There was a sound of steps hurrying in their direction, Raph must have heard Mikey’s plea too.
Donnie walked closer to them, taking the small item out of its belt compartment and expanding it to show the Spiky-bro rolley.
“Let’s place him here and get him to his room, it’s not like I have any bed for him to use here.”
“Well shit,” Raph groaned at seeing Splinter’s state. “OK, I’ll take out the futon and stuff.”
“Where’s Leo?”
“Swimming in the pool, that was faster than the shower!”
He would have to filter out the contaminated water once he was done then. Donnie made a mental note for that.
They worked together to transport Splinter to his room inside the dojo, with Mikey coming back and forth to bring the things Donnie needed, while Raph stayed in the lab to watch over Miwa.
Concerned not for her wellbeing, but that of the rest of the family. Honestly, Donnie couldn’t blame him.
Miwa or not Miwa, she was still a foot soldier.
“Here you go!”
“Thanks Mikey. Since he used his robe as an improvised bandage he didn’t lose too much blood. His body can produce enough red blood cells to correct the anemia without the need for blood transfusions, we need to let him rest.”
“So I didn’t mess it up?” Mikey sighed with relief as Donnie stood up. Ahhh, so that’s what had been worrying him!
“Nah, you did great Mikey,” he patted his brother’s shoulder warmly, guiding him out of the room. “Right now he just needs antibiotics and… hmm. Iron is required to produce red blood cells, so sensei will probably need to take iron supplements. Anyway, I’ve connected him intravenously for today. Once he wakes up he can just take them orally for as long as the symptoms remain, or for a week, whichever comes later.”
Mikey stared at him expectantly. “So what do I do now?”
“For sensei? Nothing.” Donnie closed the door of the dojo behind him. “Regarding the other patient though… her ribs are kinda delicate at the moment, but find something to tie her ankles or the like, just in case she reacts badly once she wakes up. Help me take a look at Raph too.”
“I can do that!”
“Thanks Mikey!” Donnie nodded, finally allowing himself a short moment of reprieve.
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the wall, trying to anchor himself before continuing with his tasks. Everything depended on him… so many things depended on him.
With a deep sigh, he opened his eyes once more and sent a quick text to April, to let her know the mission was a success, and that some stuff had happened and they needed to catch up. She didn’t reply immediately, so she must be busy with something.
“Donnie! Raph is being stubborn—”
“I’m fine, let it go Mikey!”
“Your arm is more purple than green!”
Yeah, Donnie should check on his brothers now.
The clock continued to tick as the minutes passed by, and he treated what he could for Raph, Mikey and himself.
In the blink of an eye, one hour had passed.
Donnie still had no answer from April, oddly enough. With a sigh, he sent another text and left the phone over the sofa’s backrest to rub his face tiredly.
“How are you feeling Leo?” Donnie asked the brother that had requested to be left for last.
“It doesn’t burn as much now, at least,” Leo groaned from his place lying on the sofa, a wet cloth refreshing inflamed eyes.
“You already took the meds I sent over with Mikey, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Then you’ll be fine,” Donnie reassured, sitting over the sofa’s armrest so he could place a hand over his forehead, just like Leo did to him whenever Donnie got sick.
His older brother always remained at his side on those instances, a silent, comfortable presence to alleviate Donnie’s misery. He really appreciated it.
“I really appreciate you,” he remembered to say out loud.
“What brought that up?” Leo snickered softly, sighing contentedly at the added pressure.
“You always took care of me whenever I got sick. You still do. You always… do this.”
Leo hummed with a small smile on his face. “Yeah.”
There was a short pause of comfortable silence.
“Splinter never stayed for too long, but you always slept right by my side, to get help if I turned feverish while asleep or the like.”
“...yeah,” Leo repeated much more softly.
Donnie thinned his lips, frowning at the closed door of the dojo. The thought he had been musing for the past hour resurfacing.
“He didn’t help you.”
“He could only help one person,” Leo snapped immediately.
“And that person wasn’t you,” Donnie immediately snapped back.
“Donnie please, not now,” Leo sniffed, brow furrowed. He could not see his eyes with the cloth covering them, but the broken voice was enough indicator even for him.
Donnie sighed, but let it go for now.
It seemed Leo couldn’t though, because his mouth twisted down, hiccuping a discreet sob as he pressed both palms over the cold cloth on his eyes.
“Why am I not good enough…?”
“You are always enough, Leo,” Donnie stated matter-of-factly. “Splinter just… kinda sucks at these things.”
“D-don’t say that,” Leo sniffed, one palm up in the air in silent request. “He’s been trying… he’s doing better…”
Donnie grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He hoped that gesture could transmit everything he couldn’t verbally.
Leo had always been Splinter’s favorite. If even he was delegated to second place now, then what could they expect? Where would that leave Raph or Mikey?
“Puffs not gettin’ back yet?” Raph asked as he stepped out of the lab, as if summoned by Donnie’s line of thought.
Leo turned around to face the back of the couch, hiding from view even when in plain sight.
“Not yet,” Donnie immediately directed Raph’s attention to himself, standing up and away from Leo. “Mikey went out to wait for him in the alley we use for the patrol buggy.”
Raph halted and frowned at him. Confused, concerned. “Why?”
Donnie shrugged. “He said maybe Puffs doesn’t know how to come back on his own, so he wanted to press the panic button to guide him. The signal doesn’t work very well in the sewers though, so I told him to go outside for that.”
Raph looked down at the black screen of his phone and sighed. “Can’t believe we didn’t exchange contacts with the big guy.”
“Yeah,” Donnie had thought the same. It hadn't been necessary, and with so many things going on… he had been so stupid.
“Pretty fucking stupid.”
“Yeah,” Donnie admitted with a sigh, even though Raph probably didn't aim that at him. “What brought you out? I thought you were… you know. Standing guard.”
Nobody trusted the foot soldier, outside of Splinter.
“Her legs are tied, and I secured her arms to the thing. She’s not going anywhere,” Raph crossed his arms and glanced at the sofa. “I wanted to check up on everyone.”
Donnie hummed and leant forward, until he could bump his forehead at Raph’s shoulder. This was better than a wall, more comforting.
His brother could complain about Leo’s overprotectiveness all he wanted, but the reality was that Raph was the one that had always fought the monsters in his nightmares. He was the protector, the first to stand up against anything and everything that threatened them. Physically, psychologically, emotionally.
Raph had given Mikey a little pep talk after the mess with Bradford. Told him he deserved better friends…
… and he used to speak up against some of the things Splinter mandated, back when they were kids.
Raph was the one that had stood up against sensei the most across the years. When they were younger, Raph had managed to get the difficulty of the exercises lowered — back when the only one that could somewhat do those things was Leo, and Mikey cried at his own incompetence — and the frequency of the training more spaced out, when Donnie softly complained to him about how he wanted to have more time for his inventions.
Raph was often punished for speaking up and “expressing himself in such a manner,” but he was successful at changing things for the better all the same, because Splinter would still listen to him to an extent, and act accordingly.
Splinter probably would have ended up doing that either way, at some point, but it would have taken him longer to realize if Raph hadn’t been there to say it.
Many things would have been different, if Raph didn’t have the guts to go against their sensei so directly, so vocally, so repeatedly.
“I really appreciate you.”
“Cheesy,” Raph huffed softly, wrapping an arm around Donnie’s shell. “You should repeat that once Mikey gets back, he better hear it and weep.”
Donnie snorted. “Still mad you’re not the sun?”
“Damn pissed,” Raph scoffed, and Donnie laughed and finally pulled back.
“Blunt and Sharp is a good name though.”
“I’ll show you blunt and sharp if you don’t change it for something better,” Raph rolled his eyes with a half-grin, stepping away to approach Leo. “Hey fearless, how you doing over there?”
“Ughh.” Leo turned face down, hiding his head inside his shell.
“Peachy then. Awesome, I feel like sitting down—”
“Wait no, Raph— ouph!”
“Seat feels weird.”
“Get off me, I can’t breathe!”
“Seats sure are talkative these days, huh?”
“Raph!!”
“Kinda uncomfortable too.”
“‘Cause that’s my shell, get off!”
Donnie chuckled at the banter. It was nice, seeing them get on each other’s nerves and fight without really fighting.
“ — if you tell me what’s wrong, I can help!” Mikey screamed, loud even by his standards.
Mikey’s voice sounded distressed, pleading. He was trying to let them know he was back, but it was also clearly a call for help.
“Not now, Fourth.”
And the soldier’s voice was incredibly cold.
Donnie turned to face the lair’s entrance, hands fidgeting with his belt strap. Raph immediately got off the sofa, and Leo popped his head out, eyes still irritated but not nearly as much as they had been one hour ago.
In a lapse of time that was much too long but also not enough, Mikey and Puffs finally stepped into the lair.
Puffs was carrying Mikey like one may a bag of groceries. In a single hand, and keeping his little brother facing down and away from him.
“Gimme Mikey,” Raph immediately requested, stepping closer to hug their brother like a child may hug a plushie when asking their parents to buy it, pretty please.
Puffs bent down and let Mikey go, who stayed trapped in Raph’s protective hold.
“Sweet, thanks.”
“Raph, something’s wrong but Puffs won’t tell me…”
“Nothing I cannot handle,” Puffs huffed lightly. “Fourth said all injuries have been treated?”
“Yeah,” Leo was the one to answer, stepping forward to center the attention on himself. “Splinter and Mi— and Miwa are asleep, and the four of us have already treated each other, so you’re the only one that’s left. Raph said you had a gash at—”
“Already healed,” Puffs made a dismissive gesture. “Your eyes and breathing?”
“Breathing is already regulated, his eyes are still a bit irritated but Leo should be back to normal sometime in the next hour,” Donnie reported.
Puffs turned to look at him.
And stared.
Unblinking. Without saying a single word. Studying? Considering?
“...so, uh, how did it go? Was the bomb taken care of?” Donnie asked to hopefully snap him out of it, shifting uncomfortably in place. Leo had gotten closer to his side in that long pause, shoulders brushing.
“...yes,” the snapper sighed through his nose, gaze blinking back into focus. He stepped forward with long strides, bending down on one knee in front of them once he got close enough.
“Puffs, what’s going on?” Leo asked with apparent confusion, one hand in the air as if to touch the snapper’s shoulder.
Waiting for permission to approach. It was better to ask first, whenever Spiky Raph was not fronting.
“Second.” Puffs took Leo’s hand and engulfed it in his own massive palm in acknowledgement, but kept his gaze focused on Donnie. “I have a question for you, and I do not want to hear anything but a Yes or No. No explanations, no arguments beyond that.”
“...uh-huh?”
“Just a Yes or No.”
“Yeah, you already said that...”
“Second,” Puff's face was unreadable, tail unmoving, not a single muscle twitching or shifting. A statue more than a turtle.
"I get it…" Donnie nodded hesitantly.
Puffs nodded firmly. “Can you open a gate to my dimension of origin, yes or no?”
Donnie’s breath hitched despite himself.
“I’m— I’m working on—”
“Yes or no.”
Donnie had never been the best at sustaining eye contact, and the intensity of the stare just made it all the worse. He ended up staring at a spiky shoulder.
“Y-yes… eventually…”
“Within the next 48 hours?”
“The next— but that’s too soon—”
“Yes or no.”
“No!” Donnie snapped. “It's too soon, there would be not enough time to prepare for—”
“I don’t require any more details,” Puffs sighed through his nose, even as the rest of him remained impassive. “You have ten hours to inform me if that answer changes, Second.”
“Or else what?” Raph punched Puff’s arm once, having silently stalked closer to them during their exchange. “What the heck got into you all of the sudden?”
“Every action and inaction has a consequence, First,” Puffs said simply, turning to face Raph. “This is not a threat, but a simple fact.”
“You’re starting to sound like sensei,” Raph scoffed derisively. “What would be the fucking consequence then? Just say it directly!”
Puffs blinked. Tilted his head consideringly.
“Our tot-shaped brothers,” Puffs said surprisingly softly. “We would miss you, but I will accept whatever Second decides, and will implore no longer.”
“What the shell does that even mean?”
Puffs hummed, but otherwise didn't answer.
“Do you wanna leave the lair?” Mikey asked tentatively, tugging at a single finger while making his adorable baby-brother imploring face. “Why? Where do you wanna go?”
The snapper didn’t answer, he just turned his head to face Mikey and carefully pried his finger away.
“Puffs, you’re not making any sense,” Leo sighed, placing his free hand over the snapper’s knuckles, since the soldier still had the smaller hand trapped in his hold. “Whatever you’re thinking, wherever you wanna go, we can explore it together, yeah? But we need you to be clearer than this, you’re not making any sense.”
Donnie was trying to understand, even if reading between the lines was not exactly his forte. The timeframe… why ten hours? What would happen after that?
Or had something happened before he came here?
“Puffs… Puffs, what have you been doing this past hour?”
Would it really have taken him that long to dispose of the bomb?
"My mission was executed successfully. I returned when Fourth activated the panic alert."
The answer was short, precise, to the point.
And also suspiciously undetailed.
Would he have returned at all, if not for Mikey “having an emergency”?
Before Donnie could ask, there was a loud clank! of something metallic falling to the floor, coming from the lab’s direction.
From Miwa’s direction.
“Shit, the foot soldier,” Raph cursed and dashed towards the lab, but the snapper leapt forward faster, so he was the first to arrive and at the front of the whole group.
He had shifted from normal walking to one that used all four limbs, tail moving purposely so his mere standing was enough to completely block the lab’s entrance.
Both, so the Foot recruit would not get out, and so they all would not get in.
“Dude move aside—”
“Motherfucker!” a female voice interrupted.
Donnie was the tallest and the only one that could somewhat peek inside the room. The human patient was… free, definitely free. She had put her armor back on her arms and legs, but the one that protected the torso was on the floor. She had probably tried to place it back and discovered it was too painful to keep it in place.
She was breathing with difficulty as she stood in a wide stance, one arm nursing her ribs, the other tightly grasping a kunai. Her hold was firm.
“So you’re the stupid turtle,” she taunted with a smirk, more bark than bite in that state. “The one that fell for Bradford’s ploy. Thanks for the coordinates, idiot.”
The coordinates— so the snapper had been the one to tell on their location!?
“Then Bradford was his name,” the soldier answered simply. “No wonder he was an asshole.”
For the briefest of seconds, they stood still at an impasse.
Then she launched herself towards the dismantled Shellraiser — probably unaware of the lack of motor to power the vehicle — and Puffs darted forward and caught up to her in the same breath.
The kunai was easily knocked aside. Puffs grabbed her by the head, and for a horrible second Donnie was certain he was going to slam her skull against the floor.
But in the end, Puffs simply kept her at an arm’s distance, completely unfazed by her struggle.
“Shit, shit, fuck you, fuck you—”
“Don’t move,” Donnie instructed in his medic voice, “your ribs are not—”
She twisted, trying to pass a leg over the snapper’s arm, to shift the grasp he had on her head to escape it.
It may have been successful, if she hadn’t halted mid-movement with a pained cry.
Donnie moved to the opposite side of the lab to get a sedative.
“Miwa,” Leo called with a soothing voice. Donnie could see him approach from the corner of his eye. “Miwa, calm down, we’re not gonna hurt you—”
“My name is Karai,” she corrected with a snarl.
“Karai,” Puffs repeated with clear surprise—
— as he released her!? WHY!
“Wait, don’t let her move! She’s gonna—”
Her breathing was erratic. She pulled down the mask covering her nose and mouth, a vain attempt of making it easier to breathe.
Donnie could hear Leo and Mikey gasp. Raph cursed softly. Puffs tilted his head, considering.
Karai had scars running on one side of her face, deforming her cheek. Long and wide, the lines ran in perfect parallel from each other, the distance between the lines exactly the same.
It was obvious to Donnie that it had been inflicted by the same weapon the Shredder was using tonight.
“Stay… stay away from me,” she said, glare growing weaker as she continued to gasp for air.
“What… what happened to your—”
“Shut up turtle, if you wanna talk scars ask the grated cheese over there.” She made a gesture in the snapper’s direction.
“You can ask, certainly,” Puffs said almost amiably , before anyone else could react at the offense.
Karai scoffed. “What, wanna show off your hero scars?”
“Hero? I am no hero ,” he huffed almost disdainfully, but didn’t approach her. “I know better than to ask for such a tragedy.”
Puffs slowly bent down to rest over a knee once more, exactly at Karai’s eye level.
For a short moment, they just stared at each other. Unmoving.
“It is hard to forget the past, when it is written all over our body, is it not?” Puffs muttered firmly as he looked down at his own hands, slowly undoing the wrappings covering his palms and forearms. “We are made of pieces… of all those who have broken us and rebuilt us. I was shattered, only to be put together anew, again and again… like a vase rebuilt with the broken shards of different porcelain dishes.”
The wrappings fell to the floor, and the already tense ambiance high rocketed to the moon, as a multitude of previously-hidden scars was revealed.
“I am not made to be soft. I am built with nothing but shards of glass, built to make others bleed simply because they dared thread much too close to me.”
Donnie gulped. The forearms were, apparently, the body part that collected the highest amount of scars.
“My past is an armor I cannot remove, no matter how many times I am told the war is over. I was made a soldier, and a part of me will always remain as such.
“I am Subject One,” Puffs straightened to his full height once more. “I have heard different names for you. Who are you, Karai, Miwa? Or someone else entirely?”
The foot soldier narrowed her eyes, searchingly.
“...Karai,” she settled on with a slow nod. “I’m Karai.”
Her gaze was unfocused, obviously exhausted and in pain, but she still seemed lucid enough to be aware of her surroundings and the ones in it. Contemplative, to an extent.
“Don’t die on me this time, Karai. That is an order.”
In spite of it all, the foot soldier snorted.
“An order, huh?” she closed her eyes, swallowed.
Then let herself fall on her ass, no sedative needed.
“Fuck, does breathing hurt.”
“You’re in no condition to even lay down fully, let alone move like you’ve been moving,” Donnie exhaled heavily, glad for the excuse to focus on medical issues and not the weight of everything Puffs was saying. “You need to be sitting and resting.”
She was sitting now, at least. Even if it was on the floor and leaning against the Shellraiser instead of a proper bed.
“What’s my diagnosis, doc?” she still seemed to be in pain, even when mildly teasing, but overall she was much more relaxed now for some reason.
Well, it was five against one, she probably understood she stood no chance either way.
“Cracked ribs. They’re not broken, no blood vessels or inner organs pierced, and to keep it that way you really, really need lots of rest. So stop moving around, yeah?”
“Yeah, sure.” She made a dismissive hand wave in his general direction, eyes still closed. “Can’t be worse than my cell either way.”
“A lab would be an improvement, yes,” Subject One said lightly with a sharp snort, “at least if it was anything like mine. Tell me, did you have the luxury of sunlight?”
Karai let out a humorless, breathy laugh. “In the dungeons? Fat chance.”
A deep chuckle, tail moving lightly with amusement. “Likewise, my comrade. I must admit, your form looks quite pathetic resting on the floor, and I doubt you were conceived to be pathetic . Any objections to me moving you to the only available bed?”
Karai finally opened her eyes, staring unseeingly at the ceiling. Resigned.
“If you kill me, make it quick and painless.”
“I won’t kill you, but your wish has been noted.”
Another weak snort was the only answer. They seemed to communicate in a way so… odd, but natural, all the same. All sharp edges and blunt honesty, interlacing and flowing in the same direction as seamlessly as dripping rain would when falling into a river.
Puffs carefully picked her up, keeping her inclined to keep the pressure off the delicate ribs.
Mikey ran forward while the snapper carried her, climbing up the spiky shell with practiced ease, and draped himself on top of the soldier’s head.
“Not bleeding, see? I’m not bleeding Puffs,” Mikey sniffed, rubbing his cheek on the top of his head. “You may have some sharp edges, but— but I’m used to them now! I’m not hurting, see? We can be close without getting hurt, so— so don’t isolate…”
Puffs hummed in appreciation, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t pry him off either though, not even when he left the patient down and regained full use of both arms.
Karai blinked up at Mikey with a small smile.
“Why did you bring me here, anyway? Can’t believe you would play medic with all Foot soldiers, hmm?”
Mikey turned to look expectantly at Leo.
“Sensei… Splinter said you were Miwa,” Leo said tentatively, shuffling closer to the bed. “But, uh, you don’t seem to believe that…?”
“Who the heck is Miwa? Or Splinter, for that matter…” she closed her eyes again, with a slow, pained grunt, flinching when Donnie checked on her ribs again.
“Inflammation got a lot worse, you really overdid it,” he muttered with a tired sigh. “I’ll get you a stronger one… it will make you sleepy though.”
Karai nodded her consent, removing the metal plates on her arm and lifting up the sleeve so Donnie could connect her again.
“Miwa is his daughter, she was— she was supposed to have died in the fire along with Tang Shen but—”
“Tang Shen,” she snapped her eyes back open, squinting at Leo. “How do you know about her?”
“Uh, she was Splinter’s wife?”
“You mean the Shredder’s wife.”
There was a short pause of silence as they processed that ridiculous statement.
“What, no!?” Leo was the first to screech.
“Ah… so you are Karai, daughter of Oroku Saki, later renamed Hamato,” Puffs mused out loud. “I can see the similarities now.”
“I am not, and will never be, a Hamato,” Karai huffed with a pained grimace. She really shouldn’t be talking all that much either. “Hamato Yoshi killed my mother, he killed Tang Shen—”
“That’s so wrong on so many levels!” Leo snapped immediately with a defensive glare.
Karai glared at him right back. “What proof do you have?”
“Proof! It’s fucking logic!”
“Did Leo just swear?” Mikey whispered incredulously, hands absentmindedly pat-pating the top of Puff’s head like a drum.
“Stop that Fourth.”
“Wait, wait here, I’ll go grab the photos, if you want proof I’ll get you proof. Splinter is not a monster and not a killer and not a— not a bad person , damn it!”
Leo marched out of the lab, angry at… the circumstances, Donnie supposed.
“First, snap out of it.” The order was sharp, it made Donnie jump in surprise even when it wasn’t addressed at him
“...huh?” Raph, who had been holding the discarded bandages much too silently, blinked and turned to face the snapper, still not fully present.
“Those bandages hold no blood on them. We are not injured, you can let them down. Let them be discarded.”
Raph grasped them all the more strongly, fists shaking.
“Those marks— it wasn’t fair. For you. For any of you. ”
“Life is not fair, no. Do not fret First, I am not ashamed, nor self-conscious of the scars that adorn my skin—”
“Why not?” Karai asked sharply. “Aren’t they a reminder of how weak you are? So slow, so inadequate, so— so impotent , unable to avoid the injury in the first place—”
“A scar means you survived. Scars are a show of your body’s will to recover from the inflicted injury. Your will to survive.”
Karai huffed and closed her eyes again, expression pained.
Donnie got the impression that it may not be a physical pain.
“What happened to you, anyway? What exactly did you survive?” Tired eyes still managed to land in the soldier’s direction.
Puffs raised his brows in a silent, unimpressed prompt. She smirked weakly.
“Daddy put you in a blender too?” She mocked self-deprecatingly.
“He might have, if he had considered that would teach me anything,” Puffs admitted without an ounce of emotion in his voice. “I was made to be a soldier, tailored for war, for death. These scars are simply a result of his early methods of teaching.”
“... so you got those from your father?”
“From Draxum, my creator. I don’t grant him the title of father, he is not family.” Puffs gestured at her face marks with his head. “Those were made with the Shredder’s gauntlets. Your father?”
“My sperm donor, I guess,” Karai hummed tiredly. “Hasn’t been a father in quite some time…”
“Sounds like a wise distinction to make.”
“PROOF!” Leo yelled victoriously from the entrance of the lab, waving Splinter’s photo album. “You can see Tang Shen, Miwa, Splinter! Their house when they first bought it, the wedding photos—”
“What,” Karai frowned, rubbing the exhaustion off her face with one hand as the other brought the book to her lap.
She tried to sit straighter, and Puffs immediately rearranged the pillows to support her back, much to Donnie’s surprise.
“That’s impossible, Shredder said all of it burned down along with the house. Even the copy I have is just half of the photo, just her face…”
“They burned along with the house, yeah, but the parents of Tang Shen had some physical copies of the important moments, so Splinter could recover some of them before leaving Japan. These are the few he could—”
“This is not Shredder,” Karai scoffed incredulously, “this is— all of these are—”
“Hamato Yoshi!” Leo said triumphantly.
“Splinter,” Donnie said matter-of-factly.
“Shut up!” Karai hissed, passing to the next page. “That can’t be right— this is the photo… my photo, the— the one that burned… so it only had mom’s face…”
Her fingers traced the picture of the smiling man.
“She was with... Hamato Yoshi, instead of Oroku Saki?”
“I had wondered what lies you may have been told,” a new voice called from over the lab’s entrance.
“For fuck’s sake,” Donnie cursed unfiltered, rubbing his own face tiredly. Why was everyone such a difficult patient today—
Wait.
Ugh, Splinter had passed out before Donnie could give him the results of the scan, of course he had forced himself to come back to check on her the moment he regained even the slightest amount of awareness.
“Oh Miwa… what did he do to you?” Splinter lamented as he forced himself to move forward, almost falling in that same movement. He might have collapsed over the floor, if Raph and Leo hadn't rushed to support his weight from each side.
“You shouldn’t be standing, sensei,” Leo instructed worriedly.
“Or be awake, like, at all,” Raph huffed, but still stayed to serve as a living cane.
“I could not… I needed to know,” Splinter muttered softly as he finally reached the bed’s side. He smelled like sweat, blood and antiseptics, and looked like he was awake due to nothing but sheer concern and stubbornness.
“A chair,” Mikey decided, finally hopping off from the snapper’s shoulders as he ran to the opposite side of the lab.
“Miwa? Oh Miwa…”
“Don’t give me pity,” Karai scoffed, lifting her mask right up to cover the scars of her cheek, using the bed’s covers to do the same with the ones of her arm.
“Miwa,” Splinter whispered softly as his brothers helped him sit on the chair Mikey brought over. “Miwa you don’t need to hide from me—”
“Stop that! Just— just stop , this doesn’t make any sense, none of this does—!”
“Humanity as a race, is a threat that should be completely annihilated ,” Puffs interrupted coldly.
Everyone in the room froze up.
“That is what I was taught. It was a lie, and the world outside of that lie didn’t make much sense to me at first, either,” Puffs added much more softly, focusing completely on Karai. “I had to… pause to listen, gather new intel from different sources. I would suggest you take the same course of action, my comrade.”
“Do not speak to her like that,” Splinter snapped, weakly but firmly.
“Like what?”
“Like she is a soldier,” Splinter huffed with a small shake of the head. “She is not like you, Subject One, do not project your own expectations— your own experiences , on her.”
“Oh-hoh?” Puffs face twisted into a mocking smirk. “Such wise advice. Allow me to return it to you, sensei… do not project your own experiences. On any of your children .”
Splinter made an odd, angry rodent sound, like the clacking of teeth.
Puffs huffed a laugh, jaws slightly open in a show of pointy teeth, like an alligator sunbathing. Both relaxed and threatening at the same time, just because he existed in the same room as them.
“Best of luck, sensei ,” Puffs whispered much too sharply, before turning his head to face Karai once more. “And my comrade, I remain in close quarters. Scream if you need me.”
He stepped around them, to walk towards the lab’s door without another word.
“So you’re telling me to ask for help, from the one that cracked my ribs,” Karai said incredulously.
“Yes, you would be wise to,” Puffs answered simply, not pausing nor turning around. “I know your identity, and you are no longer threatening the life of my little brother. This is no longer the battlefield, so I will be your ally.”
“Allies, huh?” Karai whispered, looking down at the photo album once more.
“Do not leave Subject One unsupervised,” Splinter ordered once the snapper fully left the room, ears pressed to his skull. “Not out of sight, not for a second.”
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Raph grunted, carefully stepping away from Splinter’s side.
“Sensei, you’re not looking very… uh, fully in your senses? I think you should rest, you two can— can talk later—”
“Leonardo.”
A single word, soft but firm.
That was all sensei had to say to shut up Donnie’s older brother.
“Hey, maybe you two could rest in the same room!” Mikey chirped, an influx of energy and cheer that immediately broke off the tension. “Leo, come on, let’s get the futon and the medical stuff Donnie had placed in sensei’s room, we can bring it all here!”
Splinter’s shoulders relaxed. “That is a magnificent idea, Michelangelo.”
Karai muttered something in japanese. Whatever that meant, Splinter chuckled and responded in kind.
Leo and Mikey came back and forth to bring what was needed from Splinter’s room, and Donnie figured his height-adjustable metallic table could serve as an uncomfortable bed for Splinter, if he was so adamant about staying here, so he put the futon on top of it and helped the rat mutant lay down.
After a short while everything was set up, and both patients were resting side by side. Not fully pressed together but close enough to be in reaching distance if they extended an arm.
Splinter nodded at them in thanks, and made the same shooing motion he always did at the end of training. Donnie and his brothers made a small bow out of habit, and left the room.
Both patients had been talking in Japanese all the time, and the soft murmurs continued even as he closed the lab’s door. Not with the heavy metallic protection, but with the thinner layer that served just for privacy purposes.
Donnie couldn’t understand much more than a few stray words here and there, like “home,” and “family,” and “honor.” Leo was the one that had a better grasp on the language, even if not fluent himself, so…
“What are they talking about?”
“Splinter’s version of what happened the night of the fire, essentially,” Leo sighed and rubbed his face, looking just as tired as Donnie felt. “Mikey, can you go with the Raphs? Let me know if you guys need anything.”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah!” Mikey nodded quickly, head turning to face the direction of the snapper’s room. The angry cussing of Raph's concern was audible all the way over. “I gotta talk to him about his sense of purpose. You guys didn’t see him, Puffs was acting so weird when he first landed next to me. He was worried, ‘cause I pressed the panic button and all, but after that he seemed kinda… frustrated? Almost angry that I wasn’t actually in danger, that he wasn’t actually needed.”
"My mission was executed successfully. I returned when Fourth activated the panic alert."
Donnie’s mind came back to that moment.
“We would miss you, but I will accept whatever Second decides, and will implore no longer.”
He still wondered if the soldier would have returned at all, if not for Mikey ‘having an emergency’.
“So I’ll let him know he’s needed and loved too, with or without threats to defend us from!” Mikey said firmly. “And that there’s no need to be so harsh with— with sensei anymore, he’s actually trying to get better! He’s just way over his head with all of the things that happened tonight, that’s all.”
“Yeah,” Leo sighed in utter relief, obviously glad someone viewed things the same as he did. “Yeah, this is just… difficult for him, right now. He’s actually trying very hard to be better, and slowly getting there, with each passing day.”
“Yeah!”
Mikey and Leo fist-bumped in solidarity, before their little brother scurried away.
Leo’s expression immediately sobered up, as he gestured with his head towards the dojo, so Donnie sighed and followed behind his older brother.
They closed the door of the dojo and walked towards Splinter’s room, as far away from the others as they could get while still in the lair.
“Donnie… what Puffs said earlier.”
“Yeah.”
Leo sighed heavily, rubbing the top of his head warily.
“Do you think he knows?”
Notes:
FANART
TEB CHAPTERS: Shredder's Death in Ch 22 AHHHH THE DROWNING!! and Ch1, Raph's landing! and Colored pages of Ch1 COMIC
TEB UNIVERSE: Compilation of TEB fanart and Raph's daycare with BABY DISASTER TWINS LOOK AND COO and Babies, Rafa, and a judgy Puffs AKA Turtle Man Boobs where? and LMAO DONNIE and LOOK! READ DEB! and CHEESE Parmesan LMAO
AUTHOR NOTE:
Ok, so the double cliffhanger was just a happy accident, wasn't planned at all, nope... but dw, we will see a bit more of what the heck is up with Leo and Donnie next chapter :D have some faith in them, don't judge them too harshly! Kskssks
Puffs is such a joy to write whenever he's not trying to be too trigger happy <3 and ahhhh this arc is so hard on Splinter QuQ He had a confrontation with Saki, the discovery that his brother-turned-enemy kidnapped his daughter, the shock of her being alive, and oh no Splinter hurt her in their fight, he starts to get worried, only for it to skyrocket because oh no a 8ft snapping turtle tackled her into unconsciousness not soon after, she's no longer moving, has he lost her for real this time? Lost her before he could even know her? Before he could apologize to her? Leo is injured yes, but he's still awake, he'll be fine, with Miwa he doesn't know...!
But from an outside perspective, he's prioritizing her over his sons so RIP. It doesn't help that my first instinct is to write canon 12 Splinter instead of his healing version, oh boy are my first drafts so mean to the ratdad QuQ Thanks to: Kettlebird and Bluegras for acting as Splinter's council for this chapter! And to Chloe and Li for Beta reading!!
As always, thanks for reading & interacting with this fic in the form of kudos, comments, Tumblr, Discord, Fanart, Writing, Animatics, Songs- this fic has grown so much!!!
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 24: Half Truth
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Half Truth
(5.1K words)
“I am not my mother!” Miwa interrupted harshly.
Her glare felt sharper than a katana, and it pierced right through Splinter just as efficiently.
With some difficulty, he turned to face her more directly.
“Miwa—”
“Don’t— don’t call me that!” She cried desperately, if albeit discreetly. “Look, I know, I know this is shitty,” the last word broke as raw emotion bled into it.
“But whoever Miwa was, whoever she could have been? She died in the fire along with Tang Shen. I am not her, and I’m not my mother, and frankly I’m fucking tired of bending backwards trying to meet someone else’s expectations—”
“No, no, please do not say that,” Splinter begged, ears pressed against his skull. “I did not meant to imply— I am so sorry—”
“That’s not the point! You’re— you’re a mourning husband and father, of course you want me to be them, to be her, to regain what you lost that day. But I can’t be. I can’t—”
“Miwa please, I have been mourning your absence for fifteen years,” Splinter sobbed quietly, “please. Please, do not do this to me.”
“Exactly! You’ve been mourning for fifteen years. Let it rest. Let it go. Let the memory of what could have been drift away—”
“I did that, because I had no choice!” he interrupted firmly. “I thought you were dead! I was— I thought you were, but you are not, so please. Please do not do this to me, do not leave, do not choose to— to stay away from me…”
“I’m tired,” she huffed, lifting the arm not connected to IV to rub her eyes. “I’m tired of trying to bend and twist to make myself fit. So please, for the love of— for the love you have for Tang Shen. For the love you have for whom Miwa could have been. Just let me go.”
“I cannot—”
“I don’t want to get to know you!” She said more forcefully. He couldn’t see the lower part of her face, but he could imagine a snarl all the same. “I don’t want to stay in New York, I only came here because the Shredder dragged me here to kill Hamato Yoshi, to kill you, but—”
A short pause of silence, as Miwa gulped and turned to face him fully.
“But Hamato Yoshi has been dead for decades, hasn’t he? You’re Splinter now. You’re a rat mutant.”
He shook his head desperately. “No, no, that does not change who I am—”
“But it changes the way you live. You’re trapped here,” she gestured to the room, “you’re chained to the sewers.”
The words felt like a punch at the liver, and he shivered and curled over his futon, as if to protect himself from future blows.
That was the reason he avoided going up to the surface as much as possible. Watching the city and its people move on with their daily life was an unavoidable reminder of everything he missed, of everything he had lost along with his humanity.
He was… he was indeed, a rat. He was nothing but a rat, living in the sewers of New York City.
Was it really that surprising, that she didn’t want to stay?
“I’m so, so tired of being chained to the shadows,” Miwa sobbed a broken admission. “I just want to be normal, for once… I just— I just want to be with Shinigami.”
Splinter shook his head as a way to release some of the accumulated tension and frustration. Just like a rat , he was nothing but a rat mutant at the end of the day.
He let his head collapse over the pillow, glistening eyes staring at the daughter he had already lost once.
And that he would lose again.
He was… he was her father. He had to think of what was best for her, not for himself, and as much as it pained him to admit, a life in the sewers of New York was not the best for her.
A life hiding like the mutants had to hide, was not the best for someone that could still be incorporated into human society, someone that was still… human.
Just a human girl, if albeit one with a terribly heavy weight on her shoulders, and the marks of a past that would never disappear, no matter how much time passed. No matter how much Splinter wished she didn’t have to bear them.
“Google says I can move around and do shit as usual, I just need to take it easy for six weeks. I’m… I’m gonna board the first plane to Japan I can,” Miwa— or perhaps, Karai, shared after a while.
Splinter nodded, pushing down the heartbreak and emotional turmoil this day had caused, as he closed his eyes and let his mind meditate, to transform the tornado back into a calm breeze.
Meditating was his way to compartmentalize things. The good, the bad, the nice, the ugly. It was something he needed, like one needed to breathe and eat. It kept his mind calm, his nights dreamless, his demons — his once brother, his clan, the loss of his wife, the loss of his home, his identity, his humanity, everything he once had — buried.
And it would help him deal with Miwa’s decision now.
The most selfish part of him wished he had never gotten to know the truth, that he could have continued thinking his baby daughter had been lost to the fire, all those years ago.
A larger part of him, however, was glad this came to light. Not for himself, but for her. So she could know the truth. Know about what the Shredder had done, know about the lie that had governed her life, and so she could know that, if she ever changed her mind, Splinter would always be here to welcome her and help her, whenever she so wished.
As a father that had been turned into a rat mutant, and had been unwillingly absent for fifteen years, that was all he could offer.
“I have a cheese phone.”
“Random rat mutant fact, but ok.”
“No, my apologies,” Splinter chuckled, expertly ignoring the stab the reminder of his species caused. “What I meant to say is… you can always reach out. If you ever change your mind or— or you need help. My door will always be open for you. I will find a way to support you, even when on opposite sides of the World.”
“...so that was your way to ask to exchange contacts?”
“Yes.”
“You really could be more direct,” she huffed lightheartedly, but nodded her assent. “But it’s not weird that you’re not. Comes with the whole sensei-ness, eh?”
Splinter shivered. The emotional blows really didn’t stop falling over him like a rain of meteorites, and he could do nothing to protect himself from the falling balls of fire, nor could he outrun them.
Just face them.
“What do you mean… by sensei-ness?”
“Uh, all the turtles call you sensei,” she said, gesturing towards the lab door. “They even bowed at the end before leaving the room. I know you called them sons, but they act more like—”
“Students.”
“Yeah, exactly. So all the roundabout way of speaking makes sense, all wise and difficult to get.”
“Am I difficult to understand?”
“Eh, it comes with the culture. Overly politeness everywhere that is not the Shredder’s organization or the shady places with inebriated idiots, that’s the norm. I’d probably be more used to it if I could have gone to a normal school or something.”
Splinter hummed. He had always wondered why his turtles struggled with his teachings sometimes…
“Then… in your opinion, I would benefit from being more straightforward.”
“I think, yeah.”
“In that case. Would you tell me… about Shinigami,” Splinter asked softly. Tentatively.
“...why?”
“I just… want a memory to preserve,” he said, fishing for the most honest sentiment and line of thought he had and forcing himself to bare it open. To be vulnerable. “I would like to know you, just a little. Just to remind myself that you are choosing what is best for you, and that you will be okay.”
Miwa— or perhaps Karai, sighed softly.
“Yeah… yeah, I’ll tell you about her.”
Splinter smiled at her lovingly, closed his eyes and prepared to listen.
Perhaps he should try to be more direct, more straightforward, more vulnerable and open, with his sons as well…
(x)
(x)
(x)
Donnie and Leo had talked a few days ago.
It had been a very emotional, heart wrecking talk, which was the kind that Donnie hated the most, but it had been a very needed talk, and the onrush of emotions had just made it impossible to avoid.
Leo had talked about how hollow he felt, how everything that “made” him be Leo was composed of his role as eldest, his status as the leader of the team, as Splinter’s best student, as his favorite, as the one in control. The one responsible not only for himself but for all of his family.
How despairing it was to try to close the bridge with all of them, with his brothers, and still struggle. Sometimes successful, sometimes not; the frustration of somehow falling short sometimes.
Especially when it came to Donnie.
Donnie had been honest about how he felt too. About how he felt like he was being looked down upon, whenever certain gestures or words were involved in their interactions. The sense of inferiority, the need to be useful to be worthy of love.
The need to be productive, the need to work, to provide for those he loved, because that was all he was good at, all he was good for, all he could do.
He wasn’t warm and outgoing like Mikey, he wasn’t strong and brave like Raph, and he wasn’t observant and kind like Leo.
They had talked and cried and hugged…
And right at the end, Donnie had broken down and admitted to something that was worrying him so much, it had been affecting his already-messed up sleep schedule.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t think it’s possible— no, I’m sure it’s not gonna be possible , never will be, not with what I have on hand to work with!” Donnie had admitted with a frustrated sob. “I’ve tried sketching new designs but—”
“It’s not gonna keep both worlds connected,” Leo had whispered with a relatable sense of dread.
“It won’t. It would be an— an open and close sort of thing. It would last a few seconds. Maybe a minute, if lucky. And once closed…”
“Once closed we lose the only thing that’s keeping them connected right now.”
They lose Spiky Raph.
“Exactly.”
Leo had sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. His eyes were puffy after crying for so long. Donnie’s eyes probably looked the same.
“Ok… and your initial prototype, how long before completion?”
Leo didn’t know Donnie was already prepared to begin Beta-testing. From a technological point of view, if not an emotional one.
“Probably… kinda close already,” he whispered a half truth. “Maybe a couple more weeks to begin testing.”
“A couple of weeks… ok. Ok. I think— I think we can think of something in that time—”
“Leo,” Donnie scoffed, absolutely exhausted . “Leo, I’ve told you. I can’t do anything else—”
He had tried. He had really tried—
“No, no, listen! You said with your current tech, it’s not possible.”
“...yeah.”
“So maybe if we get another Krang batch of stuff, things could change?”
“...very unlikely. Leo, I— I hate to admit this… but their tech is so— so advanced for me. I’ve been slowly getting to learn it, but it— it won’t change. Not in just two weeks, I’m not— not that fast, I’m not that smart Leo—”
“Ahhhh-ta-ta! Shush the negative self-talk Donnie, you’re brilliant ,” Leo scolded firmly, “and hey, maybe you don’t have to discover it. No need to redesign the wheel, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“Listen,” Leo rested a hand over his shoulder, smiling with hope. “We’re already gonna kidnap a Krang to get them to spill out where they’re keeping April’s dad, right?”
“...uh-huh?”
“But we can interrogate it about other things! Donnie, if we can—”
“ — ask that thing if it knows anything about dimensional travel—”
“Yes! We could—”
“ — maybe find a solution! Leo, that's brilliant!”
“I am the team strategist for a good reason,” Leo smiled and winked playfully. “Let’s give priority to that plan.”
“Yes, yes, let me get the cameras fixed into working condition, and then we can go install them and—”
It had been the closest thing to a solution Donnie had to offer.
They had decided to keep that to themselves for now however, just so Spiky Raph wouldn’t grow careless in his impatience, because as time continued to pass they had discovered that the large turtle could be quite brash, to the point of punching things out of the way if he got frustrated enough.
Very Raph-like, but not something they could afford to be when going against the Krang. Leo had made that observation, and Donnie had agreed on that.
But right now they were not dealing with Spiky Raph, only Puffs.
"Do you think he knows?" Leo asked. "That we're kinda stuck…'
As of today, they were still unprepared for it, and now…
“Ten hours,” Donnie groaned, pressing his forehead at the wall.
…now he had a too-short time limit.
“But why was he so specific? Like, what will happen after that?” Leo mused out loud, pacing back and forth. “Is he gonna try to leave the lair or something? Where to? Why? It doesn’t make any sense—”
“Tell me about it. The way he phrased it was so odd too.”
“Ugh, yeah. Everything has a consequence? Accept whatever you decide and stop begging? Donnie, he sounds like—”
“Like he thinks I already…” Donnie sighed. “Like I’m actively keeping him here.”
Donnie wasn’t, not really. His Beta had like, just a 30% chance of success in the best case scenario. And besides, why keep working on it when speaking with the Krang may offer a better solution? He had a ton of other things to work on, the portal project could wait until they gathered more intel.
Or so he had thought.
“Yeah! But that makes no sense,” Leo shook his head reprimandingly. “He didn’t answer your question either, about what he was doing before coming back here.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think he was looking for another refuge or something? He wants to leave the lair because he doesn’t trust we’re gonna help him?”
“I mean… maybe? It’s clear he thinks I’m not— not being completely upfront…”
Was that the issue? Would this be fixed if Donnie just admitted to the prototype being ready to test?
…but what would happen if it actually worked.
That would be horrible, the door would close much too soon, and they would be forever kept apart from each other.
Donnie could sabotage it, but he didn’t want to do that either. What if his progress actually helped make a connecting portal stable, once he gathered more information and tech from the Krang?
The best option was logically to wait for more intel!
“He’s being a douche,” Leo scoffed, passing a thumb between his eyes in frustration. “A complete douche, to you and to Splinter. He was definitely mad at Mikey when he arrived too—”
“In that sense, I guess it’s a good thing that Raph was the one to go to his room. Puffs doesn’t seem to be at odds with him right now.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Leo sighed tiredly, “I just— I don’t get it. What do we do now?”
“I guess… I guess we can be honest about the secondary reason for interrogating the Krang? Like, maybe if he knows we’re still working on it…”
“He may be reassured! Yes, let’s do that,” Leo nodded with relief, patting Donnie’s shell in congrats. “He’s probably less impulsive than Spiky Raph too, so knowing about it shouldn’t make Puffs rush into things.”
Leo opened the door of the dojo, gesturing for Donnie to hurry up.
“I’m sure everything will be fine once we can talk about—”
“WOULD IT KILL YOU TO WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND!”
“Perfectly expressed, First. You should wait a goddamn second.”
“Don’t get smartass with me, you were gonna answer my question—”
“Give me a moment, First.”
The sofa had been moved and was now laying in the wrong position, resting over its back with a deep gash adorning one of the cushions. Half of it was broken beyond repair, like something very heavy had fallen over it and crushed it.
Puffs was holding something in the air, out of reach of Mikey, who was pushed back by the face when he tried to escalate the larger turtle to take it.
Mikey fell on his butt with a surprised sound, large baby blue eyes looking sad and hurt at the snapper.
“Puffs, why is this so important?”
“Hey!” Leo called, defensive on Mikey’s behalf. “What’s up with you!?”
“Stay back Fourth.” The soldier sighed through his nose but was otherwise unmoved. “There is something I need to confirm.”
“Why are you so interested in that phone?” Raph used the distraction and got as far as perching at a spiky shoulder—
Before something weird happened.
In the span of a second, Puffs flinched and closed his inner eyelids, jaw clenched strongly as if trying to keep himself from saying something. The long tail immediately moved.
And roughly smacked Raph off and away from his shell.
“Hey!” Leo repeated, running to close the distance now with Donnie hot on his heels.
Raph ‘ouphed’ the air out of his lungs but managed to make a landing roll, growling an even more angered:
“You’re just— just using it as an excuse!” Raph panted. “Talk to us, damn it!”
Puffs huffed sharply and straightened, snapping out of it in a matter of seconds.
“My apologies— I am sorry,” Puffs blinked a couple of times, pupils now visible once more, as if only just noticing that he had shoved Raph away. “I need to leave.”
Not a second later Puffs put the phone inside his mouth, what the shell, and got on fours, running out of the lair and towards the abandoned rails.
“Hey, come back here!” Leo called after him, but it was useless. “What a douche, what the shell is wrong with him!?”
“Guys, are you ok?” Donnie offered a hand to pull Mikey up.
His little brother pouted, all hurt and heartbreak disappearing within a blink. “My baby face didn’t work, it always works!”
Cute and manipulative little brother, of course he had upped the hurt to try to make Puffs react.
“Raph, are you—”
“Shit, I almost had it,” Raph interrupted Leo, punching one of the walls with frustration. “What the fuck was that!?”
Leo looked at his brothers, glanced in the direction Puffs had taken, then back to them once more.
“Raph, Mikey, what the heck even happened?” Leo asked evenly, carefully putting a hand on Raph’s shoulder and waiting until the worst of the anger deflated back into just frustration.
“Puffs is really difficult to work with,” Mikey groaned, resting both palms on his knees, “like wow. Guys, so, uh, he’s totally, definitely hiding something… but he’s not cooperating like, at all. He just said that he ate a snack before coming here…”
“Oh, and he killed the Shredder,” Raph deadpanned, glaring at the floor and pointing at the lair’s exit with a thumb.
“He what.” Leo squeaked in his high-pitched, strangled ‘this is my manly squeak, shut up!’ voice .
“Why— no, dumb question. More like, how!?” Donnie glanced at the empty lair entrance. “Or when…? Is that why he took so long to come back?”
“I think?” Mikey shrugged. “He was implying as much—”
“Emphasis on implying, because ex-soldier dude over there can’t speak directly for shit on the topic.”
That didn't match with the impression Donnie had about the soldier.
“That’s kinda weird on its own, right?”
“You bet. He’s definitely hiding something,” Raph crossed his arms, frowning thoughtfully. “Back then— when we first met him, he didn’t mind being blunt and direct with us. Shell, he just trauma-dumped with Karai in the lab today, didn’t give a crap about whether or not we also listened.”
“Ouph, tell me about it,” Leo winced. “Spiky Raph is gonna be so mortified…”
“The luxury of sunlight…” Mikey whispered sadly.
“That reminds me, I should carry some wrappings or the like, so Spiky Raph can cover his arms again once he’s back." Donnie rubbed his arm uneasily. "I think he would feel very exposed without them…”
Donnie’s way of trying to be empathetic was to run simulations in his head. He tried to link it to himself being stripped from all his inventions, exiled from his own lab.
He would be very, very uncomfortable and exposed, even if he could stay in other rooms of the lair, even when in a ‘safe place’.
“That’s very thoughtful of you, Donnie!” Mikey praised, passing a hand over his shoulders and shaking him heartily.
Donnie smiled, feeling warm. This was why Mikey was the sun!
“Science and Sun,” Donnie offered a fist bump.
“Science and Sun for the win, baby!” Mikey matched it and raised an arm triumphantly, blowing a raspberry at Raph.
“Shut up with the Sun thing, you little jerk.”
“Why were you guys fighting over a phone?” Leo brought them back to the matter at hand.
“Ok, so I was this close to getting an actual answer out of him,” Raph made a gesture, thumb and index finger almost touching. “This close. And then Donnie’s phone fucking rings—”
“Wait, that was mine!?”
“ — and of course his traumatized shell thinks that’s a security alarm instead of a freaking ringtone! He practically teleported out of the fucking room and tackled the damn couch—”
“Oh yeah, remind me to not get elbowed.” Mikey pointed at the deep gash on the fabric. “Puffs ripped it accidentally when he ‘caught’ the phone and wow, is it as sharp as it looks like.”
“ — and then he looks at the screen,” Raph glared at Mikey for the interruption, “and his whole demeanor just. Changes. Snaps close like a damn clam. Any progress made before that, burned, to the fucking trash.”
“Why my phone, what even is in there—”
“I don’t know!” Raph yelled, gesturing at the lair’s exit. “He just tapped at it, held it out of reach, and you saw the rest!”
There was a short pause of silence as they processed that.
“Donnie, he just ate your phone dude.”
“Ugh, I saw that,” Donnie held his forehead, lamenting having left it over the sofa’s backrest instead of pocketing it back on his belt. He didn’t even notice he had left it there. “I’m trying to think why— what could he even do with it? My phone is locked, the only thing you can do without needing to unlock it’s answer calls, and all of us are here already. Well everyone but April, but she’s—”
“Donnie,” Leo interrupted his outloud musings. “Did you tell April we were back home already?”
“Yeah, ‘course I did. I sent her a text.”
“And what did she say?”
“She didn’t answer it.”
Another short pause of silence.
“April? Our April?” Mikey asked incredulously. “The ‘ I’ve skipped class for less’ April O’neil ignoring your text?”
“What exactly did you tell her?”
“I mean, I didn’t say everything that happened today, not over text! I just let her know the mission was a success, and that some stuff had happened and we needed to catch up. I’ve been waiting for her to say she’s on her way to visit us but she hasn’t… she didn’t reply.”
Actually, how long had it been since he first sent that text? Two hours? Three?
“It’s weird…” Leo muttered pensively.
“No shit Sherlock,” Raph facepalmed.
“Hey, it’s like, three or four in the morning, you know she usually sleeps at this time,” Donnie scoffed defensively.
Besides, he had needed to focus on a lot of other things at the same time, he couldn't overfocus on the lack of answer—
But it was weird, now that they were talking about it.
“But today was mission night, she usually keeps the phone close in case we need help,” Mikey said with obvious concern, fidgeting with his wrist bands.
“I know, but— I don’t know, maybe something happened…”
It could be anything. Donnie had assumed her phone may have discharged. A power blackout. The phone had no signal. April sleeping too deeply and not noticing the short ‘ting’ of a text message.
It could be anything.
“It’s odd.”
It could be anything, but.
“Is April ok?”
“Let me check,” Donnie turned around, walking with long strides towards the lab. He opened the door—
“ — being ‘dealt with’ doesn’t tell me shit. What happened!?”
— and the frustrated voice of the foot soldier immediately welcomed his ears.
“I lost sight of the Shredder after that,” Splinter shook his head heavily. “Savage was running in his direction. I focused on you, to check your pulse. There was a splash of water, by the time I turned to see they both were gone.”
“Puffs said the Shredder’s dead,” Raph shared with all the delicacy of a large boulder falling over a lake.
It brought the attention to him, which meant Donnie could scurry to his computer in the background without fuss.
He ignored the disbelieving inquiries of “Dead? How do you know, what happened?” that both injured patients were firing, mildly noting Mikey’s more tactful answers and Raph’s impatient short remarks, as Donnie focused completely on April.
They always exchanged real-time GPS data on mission night. A safety measure, just so they could easily locate each other in case of emergency. He looked at her historical records, her location in the last several hours, ever since the mission started.
She had been home for a while.
Until she wasn't anymore.
Donnie raised a hand to his mouth, as eyes darted from one screen to another, then to the New York city map, calculations rushing in his mind, hypotheses bouncing inside his head as they were born and discarded within seconds.
“Donnie?” Leo’s voice was soft, tentative. A careful weight was slowly pressing on his shoulder.
“Something happened to April,” Donnie forced himself to admit outloud, feeling stupid, stupid, stupid for not questioning the lack of answer before.
He had been focusing on his patients, and his brothers, and then Puffs came back and the foot soldier had woken up, but he should have—
“Donnie!” Leo knocked on his shell. “Donnie, what happened?”
“Ok, ok, a mission report, ok,” Donnie muttered quickly, pushing down the emotional turmoil because he had lost enough time already, he had been stupid enough already, he had failed his best friend already, he had to fix it, fix it, fix it!
“She moved. From here,” he pointed at the map on the screen. “To here. In a matter of minutes.”
Leo looked confused.
“Too fast Leo!” Donnie had to elaborate, because of course he had to elaborate, nobody could see things and immediately understand the implications like he could. “Even on a car at top speed, that’s too fast to realistically move considering the city’s layout! Whatever happened— whatever moved was flying .”
“Do you think…. the Krang?”
“Yes, they must have. Maybe her dad is not collaborating with them, maybe they needed April to blackmail him— but Leo, look at this.”
He pointed at a different section of the map.
“April discovered that the symbol the Krang had placed in all their tech belonged to the T.C.R.I., and if you trace the path— that’s where they were headed. But…”
“But they stop here,” Leo pointed at the map.
“They stop there, yes. And look at the time.” Donnie pulled up the record for Leo to see. “She’s been there for a while.”
“And she is still there.”
“She’s still there.”
“Then we better hurry,” Leo nodded decisively, turning around to give their new mission to their brothers, but Donnie latched at his wrist before he could fully turn around.
“Leo. Leo, she called me, she called my phone!”
“...and Puffs answered and took it away.”
Donnie nodded quickly, relieved at being immediately understood this time. “Why? Puffs hasn’t even interacted with her. And he was keeping Mikey and Raph away from the phone, so they wouldn’t see.”
So they wouldn’t interfere.
Interfere with what? And the snapper had left the lair immediately after, had he even come back yet?
“You have ten hours to inform me if that answer changes, Second.”
Was he even planning on coming back, at all? Had Donnie taken things too literally again, was that phrase just a warning to come clean ASAP or else…
Or else, what? Puffs forever leaving the lair? Going to April? What was linking one thing to the other? None of this made any sense!
“Donnie,” Leo positioned himself in front of his line of vision, made him focus. “Donnie, Puffs took your phone. The GPS is on, right? You can—”
“Track the soldier!”
Of course he could! How stupid could he be!? Why was he struggling with such simple tasks today? He had slept like, maybe two days ago, and he had eaten nuts and the like, it wasn’t like he was running on an empty stomach, he had worked in worse conditions before.
He turned back to the computer, pulled up the history of his last-known locations. The water treatment plant, then back to the general zone where the lair was based, because the GPS didn’t work very well inside the sewers.
Then movement. Fast, fast moving towards…
“He is going to April,” Donnie concluded.
“Then we gotta catch up!” Leo decided on the spot, turning around to face the others.
Donnie thinned his mouth and went to the opposite side of the lab, away from all of them.
How many sedative darts would he need to take down someone as large as the snapper…?
Notes:
FANART: I lost a narrative war, Damn it PUFFS AHH he has no respect for his author, none at all! QuQ
TEB x GitS xover look at that smaller Raph (by Therma's standards lmao) and and Nini,the smallest big bro ever!
Look at the Babiest Baby in Different Eldest Brother! and Dannie playing for the polls! same as Dadnardo!! go read DEB!!
I loved this Spiky Raph!! with all my heart, look at him!! And the TEB x Redline xover, complete set! and the sillies out of context ksksks And look at a Burrito Puffs lol he's so mad~
AUTHOR NOTE:
Nothing makes sense, not at all! :D HEHEHE~ Welp, welcome to June! Happy Pride and happy TEB, cause we're getting a chapter per week until we reach Ch 27th~ weheeee!! So much fun awaits us for Puffs' arc, the arc of Cliffhangers~Special thanks to Chloe and Li for Beta reading!! >w< and to Therma for wilding so much about TEB, it makes the angst all the angstier, always room for worsening~
Thank you, to all the people that make this fun!! >w< Honestly thanks for reading & interacting with this fic in the form of kudos, comments, Tumblr, Discord, Fanart, Writing, Animatics, Songs- this fic has grown so much!!!
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 25: Interrogation
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Interrogation
(3.1 K words)
“Rad…?”
The voice of the softshell had made him pause, body turning to face the source of the sound.
But there had been nothing there.
Subject One had sniffed at the air, tried to send a pulse of energy with his ninpo, trying to make it resonate with that of his bale.
But he could feel nothing, see nothing, smell nothing.
“Rad?”
The voice undoubtedly belonged to his brother, however. Distressed, he was very distressed… why would the softshell be so distressed…?
He paused, even though every inch of his body was dying to rush to the source of the sound.
He stood still, and waited.
“Raph!” The voice of Three called, coming from the same direction as Two’s. “Raph, please! Please answer, please!”
Answer? They couldn’t see him then.
He didn’t have enough energy for another pulse, so he kept it pooled behind his eyes, searching for anything mystic that could be hiding life sources in plain sight. He sniffed the air again.
Still no trace of his bale’s scent. There was something else, though… unfamiliar, but not a new scent.
“Raph please, we miss you!” Four’s voice begged from the same direction, a desperate cry. “Please come back home!”
Subject One dashed, as quickly as he could move.
In a direction different from the source of the sound.
He jumped to an adjacent building, climbing higher, enough to see the trap laid out for him, oh, so temptingly perfect. Of course, give him the voices he would do anything to hear again, calling so desperately, so urgently, when he was alone, communications cut off from their tot-shaped brothers…
The new viewpoint confirmed what he had already suspected. There was no trace of his little brothers present.
Just the Krang.
Directing his ninpo to his arms, he landed on top of the squad of robots that had awaited for Subject One to walk closer to them, utterly annihilating those unfortunate enough to be in his direct landing spot—
Or he would have, if he hadn’t landed on air that was solid. It sounded and felt like metal, and his ninpo made it cave-in upon landing.
Something invisible had been flying right above the small squad, even without a trace of mystic arts in it, since he had been unable to detect it with his ninpo. Technology. He really could use his brother’s expertise here—
But neither Two nor Second were here.
Thus, without losing momentum, he fully tore its ceiling apart, like it was made of papier-maché, and the coat of invisibility fell to reveal a gray, metallic contraption. Not too large, neither too small, the size of the airship was just enough for someone of his size to move freely inside of it.
He dropped in, accompanied by the sparks of damaged circuits, and landed on fours, tail flipping to keep his balance since the large airship began to sway dangerously.
The rush of air was audible. Moving, it had started moving.
He destroyed the laser guns that appeared from inside the walls, feeling exhilarated at the warmth of the explosions and resulting smoke hiding him from view in the confined space.
“Red, I hope you are ok, wherever you may be right now.” Splinter’s voice echoed from the walls. “We will find a way to bring you back home, I promise…”
Subject One sighed through his nose as he continued to move, listening to the recording on the speakers that was, undoubtedly, really depicting his family. The lure in the background was… at least partially real.
Was there some sort of imminent threat? Did they need him to return? Was he failing them, failing his role as protector? Was anyone already injured or dead, was he too late?
“Just a little more Raph, just a bit more, pinky-winky promise,” April’s voice reassured shakily. “Eldests stick together, remember—”
“Raph, you better not be dead or I will go to the afterlife and drag your stupid shell back here to KILL YOU MYSELF!” Cassandra’s screech interrupted.
Yes, the recording was definitely real. And these things… these robots, aliens, Krang, knew something he didn't know about how his family was faring.
Torture and Interrogation was a must then.
There were not many Krang in this airship he had landed on, only three. Was he being underestimated? Or was this just phase one of a more elaborated plan? Had they really thought this metallic contraption and the squad of seven that had stood underneath would be enough for them to succeed?
Whatever the case, Subject One could certainly benefit from their idiocy.
He trashed over the control panel of one side, until the lights turned red and alarms blared off. The sudden tilt meant the machine was now flying out of control. The three aliens present were now more preoccupied trying to escape from the airship than on fighting him off.
It was easy for One to kill the alien closest to him.
The other two had little option but to focus back on him after that, to try to fend him off. They used the laser guns Second had enjoyed back then, but One was already close to them and tearing off the limbs of the humanoid robot shapes, guns included, wasn’t difficult.
Enlarging the glowing red arms — no glowing chains to accompany it. It had been some time since Four’s chains last warmed their nights — he grabbed the pink slimy things by the face to ensure they wouldn’t escape, nor perish as he jumped out the same way he had gotten in, escaping from the contraption before it crashed.
Subject One landed on top of the nearest building, making the roof crack under his weight, but thankfully it didn’t cave in completely.
Wherever he had landed, he was lucky enough for it to be devoid of life forms. He would rather not risk staying on the open for long however, so he jumped off and into the night as soon as he regained his footing, transporting his prisoners to another location.
Subject One didn’t know enough about this city to accurately determine which places were safe for interrogation. With the intel he had, he was only sure of two locations:
The sewers, the place of residence of his tot-shaped brothers, and thus not a safe option for enemy interrogation.
And the abandoned building Raph had accompanied them to earlier, where they had placed cameras. The place where they had intended to interrogate the Krang, to find the human’s father.
The choice was obvious, that place was already meant for interrogation after all. Besides, most of the cameras were placed outside the building, since the ones inside were only meant for them to ensure there was no human activity before they arrived with the prisoner to occupy the space.
The cameras were placed high into the ceiling, too far away for the feed to record what was happening below with any detailed clarity. He could remember Second complaining about that prior to the mission, with Third reassuring that it would be fine, it could track movement. That was all they needed.
The cameras’ function was to ensure there were no accidental witnesses, not to record the interrogation, and that was something One could work with.
“Try to escape, and you will regret it,” he warned, right before he tossed one of them at the corner of the abandoned building, keeping the other trapped under his arm.
The first thing it tried to do was to escape, logically. The pink thing got out of the compartment placed at the robot’s torso, and tried to scurry away with an angry screech.
Subject One grabbed it before it could move past him.
He opened his jaws and bit off some of the squirming tentacles the alien used to move outside of the robots. The thing screeched in pain.
Subject One smirked, reassured that his large form was enough to shield the action from the cameras, and thus his brothers’ view.
He mildly wondered if these tot-shaped brothers would like Huesos’ delicacies or not. Back home, Four would certainly find eating something like the Krang disgusting, but Two and Three did understand the joy of having food squirm against their teeth, even if they would rather it didn’t cry at them.
Subject One didn’t mind the cries though.
“I could eat you, piece by piece,” he purred with anticipation, “unlike the one on the airship, it would not be a quick death. Is that what you want?”
The thing closed its green eyes and made a sharp, short wail.
“Wise decision, very well.” He crouched down and placed the mangled alien back in its robot compartment, their only conduct for speaking his language, apparently. “And you? Will you try to escape? Give me a reason, please, I am quite hungry…”
The idea of eating something alive was mouthwatering. When was the last time Three had brought him some of that pizza with squirming tentacles? Oh, how One missed Huesos fine establishment right now.
Besides, Raph was not eating the amount of food their body required, if this continued their accelerated healing would become affected once more, just like when Raph was a child still surviving in Draxum’s facility.
Subject One could eat these, to compensate for the unsatisfactory amount of food and nutrients they had been getting. Mind Raph would probably be nagging him about this if he were here, but alas…
The uninjured Krang stared at him, at his pointy salivating teeth, yellow irises shaking before it strongly closed its eyes.
“Krang will stay in the place you define as here.”
Subject One hummed, neither pleased nor displeased, running his tongue over his lips in hungry want.
“If you insist… very well.” He placed his palms over the ‘chest’ of the robotic torsos, claws scratching the metal warningly.
“The recording you used to try to lure me to your position. Where does it originate from?”
“Earth Eighteen, one of the Two-Dimensional Earths.”
Such a curious answer.
“How did you obtain it?”
“The artifacts that belong to Krang can show to Kraang Prime what awaits on the other side.” Was his bale in contact with such an item? How? “To determine if it is safe for Krang to proceed with the action that comes after the first contact with the place known as a planet.”
Verbal communication was not their forte, certainly. But that last sentence implied that visiting foreign planets was a frequent activity for them.
“If you deem it safe, what do you do?”
Neither of them answered immediately.
Subject One made a hungry sound, opening his jaws again. The smell of blood of the injured one… he could eat, he only needed one of them to answer questions—
“Kraang Prime has banned Earth Eighteen of the Two-Dimensional Earths!” The tasty one said hurriedly.
He huffed through his nose. “Banned?”
“Not apt for conquering, too powerful for Krang, not enough resources. The ones known as Titans lost during the first attempt at invasion. This Three-Dimensional Earth Twelve, that you define as planet— easier, not danger, many good resources.”
Subject One gave an amused snort at that. The first attempt at conquest of his home dimension failed, huh? Were these pathetic creatures truly related to the ones Draxum had mentioned in Yokai history? The Crying Titan… the source of Empyrean.
Empyrean was what had given origin to the first Yokai to ever inhabit Earth. It was the source of their mystic powers and the main power source of the Hidden Cities, the one under New York having the largest unharnessed flow.
“Your recording is not of Earth Eighteen, but of a very specific set of individuals within it.”
Showing their friends and family.
“They must be in contact with the artifact that belongs to Krang, it allows Kraang Prime to see the other side and do the action you define as record,” the wounded one quivered.
“You, the turtle that Krang doesn’t have historical data of, is a problem for Krang, just like the other already-known turtles, but you are from a banned dimension,” the other one added. “Krang intended to lure you into what you know as a cage, to make the portal work—”
“The portal?”
“To return you back to Earth Eighteen. The turtles from the banned dimension— they attempt to breach what you define as our shields, try to land on this Earth Twelve. Krang has enough turtle problems, no need more.”
His bale was trying to breach their shields. That would explain why Four’s chains had stopped appearing, and why his ninpo was still limited to just his arms, even though the connection linking him to his family felt much stronger, like they were closer.
“Kraang Prime ordered to return you back to Earth Eighteen.”
…huh, so they wanted to help him go back home. How awfully convenient.
Too much to be true.
“Of course, so you want me to ‘make the portal work’ to return me to my dimension of origin, no more no less,” Subject One summarized sharply, leaning forward so he was placing more of his weight over their damaged robot-structures.
He snarled with a low, menacing growl. “Do you believe I am stupid?”
“No, no—”
“What is in it for you? Why not drop me anywhere else once the portal functions, if the objective is to get me out of the picture for the conquest of this planet.”
If he knew which part of the robot thing allowed for speech, he may have crushed the chest area as a warning. But since he didn’t know, he simply gave a hungry, impatient growl and brought the injured one closer to his face.
“Krang— Krang cannot fight the mystic without the Titans, the ones lost to the place you define as prison dimension! Earth Eighteen of the Two-Dimensional Earths is banned! Krang is safe if Earth Eighteen is away. Krang craves ignorance from those that inhabit that place known as a planet. For Krang’s survival is best.”
Was his dimension of origin truly that fear inducing? Was his airheaded bale truly regarded as a real danger to their race and objectives? Such an interesting thought.
“That does not answer my question.”
“Mystics leave trace, trackable, the turtles of Earth Eighteen could pierce what you define as shields, compromise T.C.R.I. even if Krang disposes of you elsewhere. Krang must keep the banned Earth away from this dimension! Krang has invested too many resources already!”
“So you are sending me back to keep them from landing here.”
“Free of error!”
Still too good to be true, and One had no proof they would not send him to die in any other section of the vast space as soon as a portal opened.
The recording of his family was real though. They may have… somehow come into contact with one of their ‘Krang artifacts’ and were trying to connect to this world to rescue him. At least that much was most likely true.
So One could have a potential path to go back home with the Krang. It was an option worth exploring. He could find a way to test the portal before going into it himself, see if it was safe, if it was truly leading to his dimension of origin.
In any case, this may be faster than waiting for Second to stop postponing it.
Raph may be too blinded by love to see the trend for what it meant — no more Ninpo studies, no more rants about how the project was doing, nor mentions of it anytime, anywhere. The guilt that had struck Second’s face the one and last time Raph had asked for progress — but One knew better.
For whatever reason, Second was not working on it anymore. Lack of materials, lack of knowledge, lack of intentions of ever returning them back home, whatever the issue happened to be…
Second was not asking for help to solve it. At least that much was a fact.
One could give him the opportunity to change that, just this once, Second’s last chance. The one and only chance he would receive, because One provided only a single warning.
He could ask, and leave if the answer was unsatisfactory. The sooner the better, who knew how much time One had left, before Raph came back? Without Mind Raph present to comfort him it would not be a fast return, but Raph would ultimately find a way to come back to the front eventually.
Subject One may have twelve hours at most, if the trend of past occasions still held true here. He couldn’t grant too much time to Second. Eight hours… maybe ten at best…
But after that, he would need to take action. Explore the solution these Krang offered. He was certain he could annihilate them and escape if he needed to, if something deviated from his final objective.
How to kill the enemy? The true answer is that there is no answer, Subject One. Not without intel, that must always be your first step.
But first, intel.
“You said you intended for me to ‘make the portal work’ once I was captured. What exactly does that entail?”
“Your mystic is forming what you define as a link, connecting dimensions faster. Keep it stable for what you know as travel.”
“Krang also needs April O’neil,” the uninjured one added. “Needs for portal.”
Now that was unexpected. Sounded illogical too.
“The scrawny human? Why the fuck would—”
The sound of a sharp whistle, accompanied by a deep vibration interrupted him.
The panic button, shit.
He released his hold over the injured Krang, taking out his panic button to see who—
Fourth. The map showed he was close to the lair.
Shit, shit, had there been any complications? Were the weapons of the Footclan poisoned, had they been followed back to the lair? Was Fourth unable to accomplish the mission role he was assigned? For what reason was he calling One for, what was the situation?
The panic buttons were just a fancy GPS locator, and didn’t allow for communication or the exchange of messages. One had no way to gain intel until he went there personally.
Fuck, this was exactly the same design flaw that Two had done on the first prototype back home, where all purple-wearing turtles stupid geniuses!?
He sighed through his nose and reeled in the frustration that pooled inside his chest at his interrupted interrogation.
He picked up the Krang that still had all limbs and brought it close to his face. “Where is the portal structure located?”
“T.C.R.I.” The thing answered immediately, green eyes overly-focused on pointy teeth.
“You,” he growled slowly, “will give Kraang Prime a message.”
“Yes! Yes!”
“I will go on my own terms to your headquarters. Have the portal ready by the time I arrive.”
“Time estimate—”
“Whenever I so please,” One snapped, because he would have to work without a proper strategy and still find a way to succeed, as always.
Fuck Raph for having him wake up in terrible circumstances with little knowledge of who was who or why they were fighting to begin with. Subject One was rarely if ever allowed to properly plan and strategize before being thrown to the literal line of fire.
Fuck Mind Raph for not being here, Subject One really could use some of the knowledge the gatekeeper stored. Mind Raph was usually the one to share information with him, whenever he needed… when it was required…
He dropped the Krang that still possessed all limbs, that would act as messenger, and roughly pried out of its compartment the one that smelled of blood. A single survivor was enough to relay a message.
Raph liked to chew on things, whenever he was stressed.
C R U N C H , as teeth sunk into pink flesh. The thing didn’t have time to scream for long.
Subject One preferred to eat.
“...April O’neil?” the remaining Krang quivered.
“Yes,” he confirmed, wiping the blood off with one of the rags that was discarded nearby. “She will be there with me.”
Notes:
Fanart:
LOOK AT PUFFS RUNNING ever since Ch 22 that guy just keeps moving this way, I love him even when he insists on hunting (and eating his snack On-screen :'v ) and also this fanart for the scene of last chapter, Puffs's last scene with the 12 bros! it's so funny!! >w< and also, there's a new story on TEB AU collection, go check the fanart for the AU Blue rutines bittersweet ending where Raph is just... forever gone.TEB x-overs: TEB x GitS Puffs with Nini akka the Tail Jail aksjdaasd you can also see Ame's (GitS author) comments about this x-over fun concepts in this ask and this other ask
Author Note:
After much deliberation, I’ve decided to divide this chapter into two short ones. This is the shortest chapter so far!! The first to have barely 3K words. Ain’t that neat? :D The next one probably will be a short read too, with just 2K words~ funny fun times!
Special thanks to Chloe and Li for Beta reading!! >w< and to Therma for being her unhinged self, so much fun XD
Thank you for taking the time to interact with this story, for staying and reaching this chapter!! Thank you for the kudos, comments, Tumblr, Discord, Fanart, Writing, Animatics, Songs and whatever else is born from the brainriot this story causes hahaha! I'm glad I can be not-normal about this fic with y'all >w<
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 26: April
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
April
(2.2K words)
Lore in the Author Note, please read.
The sudden spike of pure, unaltered fear had caught Subject One off guard. His body had reacted without his input, and by the time he came back to his senses he had already pushed First off his back.
Fuck, a big part of him still wanted to roar in warning, wanted to rush to the nearest body of water to hide like a weak, pathetic, vulnerable child.
Damn it Savage, why had his presence pushed to the front so suddenly and strongly? Sure a small creature abruptly leaping at his shoulder — close, too close to the neck — meant danger, but that hadn’t been the case for years!
And why the fuck did he place the phone in his mouth—
I don’t know what’s going on, I panicked!
Oh, of course Raph would pick this time to influence his actions, and talk again. Of course.
He removed the phone from his mouth, because that was a stupid space of storage for a piece of technology that should not come in contact with fluids, as anyone with half a brain cell would know.
“Let me handle it,” Subject One ordered.
Puffs, I— what happened? They’re ok so that’s ok, but… but uh, I don’t remember… we were swimming? It was dark, kinda nice… but there was someone under us—
“Let me handle it,” One repeated more forcefully, pushing the memory of Shredder down, down, down, until that also drowned—
WHERE ARE OUR BANDAGES!
Nice distraction.
“I removed them.”
Why would you do that!? Cover them up!
“You missed the ‘slut’ at the end there.”
Raph made an undignified harrumph in the back of his mind, like he was having a loud heart attack, and Subject One snorted. Savage’s sharp strike of fear subsided. Riling Raph up was the easiest way for everyone to calm down, he supposed.
Mind Raph was all hugs and there, there’s, but One was not gonna coddle anyone.
You are horrible, you know I don’t like—
Oh please.
He unmuted the call he had answered to shut Raph up. They had more important things to focus on than the scars that would never disappear, no matter how strongly Raph wanted to ignore their existence.
“Please, please, does this thing even work,” the human sobbed, voice quiet. She was still hiding, good.
Hiding? Hiding from whom, what happened!?
“I can hear you now,” One answered out loud, ignoring Raph’s pressing inquiry and the sudden, foreign spark of concern and confusion.
“Who… Spiky Raph?”
She sounds so scared, is she alright? Can we help? Where is she?
“I am going to help you,” Subject One tried to mimic Raph’s tone, one of his best attempts at reassurance, if he was honest. “Breathe.”
“The Krang, they— I couldn’t call anyone, my phone wouldn’t work, and I— I didn’t—”
“We are here with you, you are no longer alone. Breathe,” Subject One instructed, as he continued to move towards the surface.
“I think I killed— the construction crane just moved , I screamed and then it fell, it fell over the spaceship and I—”
“Are there any Krang in the vicinity?”
“I don’t know, I don’t wanna see, I don’t want things to float again.”
Float? Why float?
Insufficient data Raph.
“Do not hang up on me. I will go, where are you?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, I just ran away, I just— just… can Donnie check—”
“Donnie,” Subject One parroted the nickname. It felt weird to address them as anything but their real name, but it was necessary. “Cannot come, he is… something happened on our side as well.”
Wait, what? What happened!? Or are you lying—
“He is the medic, keeping things under control. Nothing major, everyone will be fine,” Subject One reassured before Raph could continue to nag him for answers. “I picked up his phone, I can go to your location.”
“Ok, ok, unlock it. Code is 0-3-8-7, go to my chat. We always exchange GPS locations on mission night, you can find me. My phone is cracked and the screen doesn’t— it was difficult to even call , but…”
“I can see you,” Subject One smirked in triumph. “Eight minutes—”
Please stay safe until then, April!
“ —stay safe until then. Please.” One parroted softly instead of his original order for her to ‘survive, or else.’ He needed her alive, uncaptured.
…need her? Puffs, why do you—
“Don’t hang up,” she pleaded, fear leaking clearly into her voice. “If they come back— I can’t take it off, if things float again—”
Puffs, what happened!?
“Stay with me,” One ordered as he took a sharp turn, grateful for the excuse to ignore Raph’s inquiries. “Breathe in. Hold four seconds. Then out. Slowly. What weapons do you have at your disposal? What do you see around you?”
Subject One moved underground for as long as he could manage, where he could speak freely, gather intel from the human about what happened to her, while having an excuse for Raph to stay mostly ignored, silent.
Once the rails and sewers weren’t enough, he punched an exit to the surface and rushed out, moving fast among closed stores and dirty alleys, jumping towards the rooftops at the first opportunity.
He ran at top speed, phone ‘on speaker’ and secured in his belt, and let himself be guided by the large construction crane that was visible into the distance.
He reached his destination within the allotted time, and paused in surprise.
It was no wonder she had been reluctant to describe her surroundings. The smell of blood and death coated the air, he knew what to expect even before he glanced at the street below him.
A massacre of pink skin, purple blood, and destroyed pieces of technology.
I wanna throw up, ugh.
One pushed down Raph’s burst of nausea. This human was something to watch out for, certainly.
Stop thinking like that, she’s not an enemy! We’re not gonna fight her or anything.
He landed on the alley she was hiding in, ignoring Raph’s voice.
“I am here,” One said, looking at the large trash container without opening the lid, long tail pushing away the corpse of an alien that had been torn in half. Their innards were quite fascinating.
“I don’t wanna see, I don’t want things to float again,” she repeated softly, as if ashamed of the scenery that proved just how hard she had to fight for her own survival.
Savage would understand. He probably would like her.
We all do, she’s April! And she’s obviously not feeling well, reassure her, come on!
Subject One ignored the push that encouraged a switch, because he still had things he needed to do, damn it. But if Raph wanted to come out to reassure her, then that’s what he needed to do to appease him.
Subject One tried to make the reassuring burr sound Raph always used.
He failed horrendously, so he cleared his throat and fished for a solution, which is what he should have done from the start, Raph.
Let me handle it then!
Not yet. Raph didn’t know what One knew, and time was of essence.
“I can… carry you. Close your eyes and hold your breath, until I have taken us out of here.”
There was a long pause of silence on her side.
“Who are you?” Although phrased like a question, One got the impression that saying ‘Raph’ was not an option.
She knew? How peculiar. She hadn’t given any indication of knowing when he was running, but now that he was standing almost in front of her… the sudden certainty…
“I am Subject One,” he said sincerely.
He was a retired soldier. Retired. He existed to harness the knowledge Raph couldn’t afford to have. He was made for battle. He was made to handle everything that was too difficult, too scary, too much for Raph to handle.
He was made to protect their system, and to protect their family and loved ones.
He was here to speak with this version of April O’neil, and for that they needed to be in a safe place first.
“I am here for you. Allow me,” he said as softly as he could manage.
Maybe if you stopped sounding like you’re issuing orders—
“PLEASE, allow me,” he rectified with an eye roll to shut Raph up. The intent was exactly the same, why did it matter? If others couldn’t understand, it was not his fault—
If others don’t get your intent, it’s completely your fault!
Not his fault if they’re all stupid beyond—
The teen gave a weak laugh, as the lid slowly opened from the inside.
“You’re kinda like Donnie,” the humanoid greeted with a nasal voice, eyes closed tight and free hand covering her nose.
She was also wearing a metallic contraption on her head. Some sort of helmet with a purple-pink liquid flowing by the forehead. It seemed to be the same substance that was flowing over the bracelets covering both of her forearms.
Those must be the ones she was unable to remove. The machinery that ‘made things float’.
“Take me outta here, please,” she tentatively reached out to him.
See? Please and thank you; manners! So easy to communicate with manners—
“Thank you,” One huffed to shut Raph up. “For allowing this. We are leaving.”
“It’s ok, you don’t have to say it if you don’t wanna,” the humanoid smiled weakly. “I get it.”
She really ‘got it’ very clearly. One was quite impressed with the discovery.
He hummed noncommittally and carefully picked her up, carrying her just like he had an incapacitated Third earlier tonight—
Incapacitated!?
“Is everyone ok?” the teen muttered worriedly.
“There was no one at risk of death when I left,” One said matter-of-factly, jumping up and towards the rooftops once more.
That’s not reassuring at all.
“That’s not very reassuring,” the humanoid repeated Raph’s complaint. “How is everyone doing? Who was Donnie checking on?”
“None of our brothers had any life-threatening injury. The only one incapacitated was Third, he was subjected to lachrymator gas.”
“Third?”
One recalled the appearance of his little brother — so little in his hold, all of them looked so young — with the irritated unseeing eyes, before recalling how better he had looked when Third greeted One upon his return, small, small hand completely hidden in his own.
You remembered to get to their level! Raph praised honestly. You’re improving so much Puffs~
That goddamn baby voice of his, fuck Raph, fuck you.
Raph chuckled mockingly, and One inwardly rolled his eyes. Yes, yes, he had taken a knee in front of their brothers. He had wanted to study their micro-reactions closely, see things with his own eyes. Come to his own conclusions.
“Third is Leo, right?” the teen in his arms asked, even though she already knew the answer. How intriguing.
“Correct. You can open your eyes and breathe normally once more, we have traveled a sufficient distance now.”
He halted on the next rooftop, at the side of one of those big machines that humans used for heating, cooling and ‘air conditioning’ enclosed spaces.
“This is an HVAC system,” the humanoid latched at the distraction, gesturing to the machine.”Dad always complained about ours in winter. The building is kinda old and sometimes it doesn't work very well—”
“Do you like your father?”
She immediately turned to face him. Good reaction time, fast reflexes.
“Of course I love him! He’s my dad, my family— ”
“Good. We could rescue him. Right here, right now.”
We can? Raph piped up with clear disbelief. How?
Because the Krang’s objective was her, not her father. Subject One was certain that the male human was just a casualty, he just happened to be there. A 'nice to have' more than a 'must have'.
Just like their own brothers had happened to be there, back when Draxum had worn the dark armor. Raph had been Draxum’s objective that day, the 'must have' and not them. Their little brothers could have left without fighting, if Raph had stayed back and played along.
All she had to do right now was play along. Her father could be freed of his imprisonment. It would be a simple exchange.
“I could take his place?”
TERRIBLE IDEA, NOPE!
“They can believe as much, but in reality you will stay with me. I will protect you until they bring your father out of containment. Then the three of us escape.”
What the fuck Puffs! This is not like you, you never rush into things without proper planning—
Subject One had a semblance of a plan. Raph just didn’t know it because he hadn’t been close to the front, hadn’t been aware during the time One had gathered intel.
He was certain his plan would work out.
Why are you in such a hurry!? Everyone is tired and recovering, aren’t they? Why would you act without them as back up?
Prisoners don't need to be kept alive, or even in good conditions. The affected party just needed to believe the prisoners were alive. Her father could die any day now, and still be used as a bargaining chip to get to her. The more they waited, the lower his probability of survival would be.
That doesn’t explain—
One would do the same for his brothers. Exchange places in a heartbeat, no hesitation. He would go back willingly to Draxum’s lab, even without a plan of escape, if it meant his little brothers would be freed.
Raph fell silent mid-phrase. Savage gave a scared whimper in the back of his mind, and One huffed and pushed back both lingering presences.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Keeping them back was starting to get more difficult, without Mind Raph here to serve as gatekeeper and control the influence they all could exert over the one fronting.
Mind Raph was usually the one to open and close doors, the one to communicate among them and determine who was better fronting and when. He managed the influx of new information, the new memories they could form when they weren’t fronting…
“Can you really do it?” the humanoid had walked closer to them, hands grabbing at his forearm. “Can you really have all of us escape?”
Certain. He was absolutely certain his plan would work.
Even more so now that he had witnessed her potential.
The teen gulped and shuddered, rubbing her hands over her arms as if to warm herself. Control the shivers.
The alien massacre may be an unpleasant memory for her, but it was still reality. In the worst case scenario, they could simply unite forces and fight together to escape. If the Krang refused to remove the machinery then Second may be able to, technology was his expertise after all.
He had faced worse odds. They could do it.
“We can do it, we can do it,” she repeated, as if to convince herself. “What’s your plan, Subject One?”
He gave a pleased hum at hearing his real name be uttered — without a hint of hesitation, pity, wariness, or mistrust — and bent down on one knee in front of her.
Being at their level was important, indeed.
“Listen carefully."
Notes:
Fanart: Look at this TEB and DEB fanart withChibi Eldests so CUTEEE and KASAJHDJA also fanart from the previous chapter with
Puffs eating Krang TW for blood~ QuQ It's so good I'm dying, it kills me aksjda and last but not least, this chaotic turtle pile!Author Note: HEHEHE~
And yeap, April’s is wearing the support items Dr Rockwell does in the original series! Their powers are quite similar, and I don’t recall him having to deal with headaches and the like~
This is not explicitly told in the story (or in the series, I think) but Krang Prime is also supposed to have some sort of psychic power? Since that’s how the Utroms were enslaved, turned into copies of Krang’s mind. I’d imagine Prime is very invested in finding ways to improve its own powers. They need April’s DNA to perfect the mutagen in the series, so she doesn’t need to be alive necessarily, but Krang Prime wanted to test out these things before killing her just in case it had 🔅secondary effects~
That backfired spectacularly, hence the request the captured Krang gave to Puffs in the previous chapter! 😀 Hopefully it makes sense xD
I can't believe June passed by so fast, next Saturday is the last chapter of what I had ready-to-publish, I hope you enjoyed the weekly postings while they lasted ;) I'm SO EXCITED FOR THAT TOO!! CH 27 is one of my favorites so far!! *Happy stimming*
Special thanks to Chloe and Therma for Beta reading!! AND FOR WILDING WITH ME!!! AHAHAHA! Next chapter is gonna beeeeee. So much FUN! <3
Thanks for reading, and see ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 27: Big Brother
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Big Brother
(5.2 K words)
TWs: Description of imprisonment. On-screen loss of eye. Implied child abuse.
For how long had he been in this cell?
Not for too long, not really. He had spent a single year here, before Big Mama took him out of prison, provided all the resources he needed to start over the mass production of the mutagen, which had taken him around… twelve years.
Twelve years of working, of feigning he didn’t know of Big Mama’s true plans. The Battle Nexus she commanded… of course, he should have known better than to think she really would understand the risk the prophecy posed for all yokai, that she would care about the fate of her own race.
It was an acceptable price. What was twelve years, for someone that had already lived through centuries? It wasn’t long. In fact, it was an affordable investment. He had succeeded in releasing the oozesquitoes into the human realm, before the spider could use them for her selfish gain. He had succeeded in taking one step closer to the eradication of humanity, one step closer to saving the Yokai race, and for such a noble goal, twelve years was not a high cost.
“You’re lucky the Hidden City still needs you, or you would be dead already.”
But the damage the spider had befallen upon his being was not such a feeble matter.
“You will now learn what happens, to those that dare betray Big Mama.”
The arachnid claws that had been digging into his cheeks had finally released his face. He had renewed his efforts to escape and tugged at his bindings, but the silk of the spider’s web was much too strong for him to obtain freedom. He was trapped in this place, where his connection to the mystic was cut-off, his body too weak under these circumstances where the access to food, water, and sleep had been completely denied for several days in a row.
He had been powerless to escape from the Oni yokai that stepped closer to him. Powerless to stop the pointed weapon that had slowly, slowly dug deep into his eye socket, that had pulled out his eye.
He had screamed ; screamed until his throat was grabbed into a chokehold, and the access to air became yet another lost luxury, just like he had lost everything else.
“Silence is a virtue~” Big Mama had sing-songed mockingly, red eyes curving upward like malicious moon crescents. “Don’t you agree, Draxy?”
Draxum had yelled that phrase very frequently across the years, the goons she appointed to his work station were always much too impertinent and noisy, always driving him mad.
The hand crushing his air pipe gave one last warning squeeze, before he was released. Draxum coughed and panted for air, too exhausted to fully process the pulsing agony that was coming from the lost eye. The throbbing on his head, the sound of his own blood dripping and staining with dark colors the previously white floor.
“Take him back to prison, where he belongs.”
The Oni yokai had thrown him back to the prison cell, with the same care a child yokai may bestow upon a worn rag doll. If Draxum didn’t belong to such an ancient and noble race, the tardy treatment of his injury would have been his undoing.
But he survived. He had suffered, but he survived for long enough for the guards to notice his predicament and provide healthcare and treat his injury. He was finally granted the luxury of food and water. He rested and recovered.
He had survived in his prison cell for another year, forced to greet the occasional government visitor every other month. It was much more frequent than it had been when he had been trapped, working with Big Mama.
The Head Council sent government officials to ask stupid questions about simple things like ‘how are the cloak runes interlaced in this section of the dome? A human almost snuck in again.’
Draxum would provide a very definite, very permanent solution to their human problem if only they just let him.
They wouldn’t consider his solution however, no matter how many times he brought it up, or how many arguments he provided. The stubborn imbeciles. But Draxum’s objective was still to guarantee the survival of yokai, and thus, he answered to all their petty questions to the best of his ability.
“The eye-patch suits you,” the government official had smirked with amusement. “I guess your stay with Big Mama was long overdue either way. The Head Council was starting to grow suspicious.”
The Head Council…
Those vermin . They had recognized his skill and knowledge centuries ago; they had assigned the Great Baron Draxum with the task to design the Hidden City, when this one first started to expand, to accommodate for the great influx of yokai that were fleeing underground to escape from the humans persecuting them.
It was thanks to him, and him alone, that the yokai were as well-hidden from humankind as they were right now. It was thanks to him that their race had been able to enjoy a peaceful life for centuries . What would they do, without his knowledge on ancient runes? Humanity had burned that knowledge just like they burned many yokai!
“Let me out of here,” Draxum had ordered for the thousandth time, claws scratching at the wall in sharp frustration. “Free me from these confines, and I will overlook your misdoings. If not for me, then for the yokai! Humanity must be—”
“Humanity this, humanity that, you’re still stuck in the old ages, aren’t you?” the official had rolled their multiple eyes with a mix of pity and mocking incredulity, as they turned around to leave.
Draxum had scoffed and leaned his weight against the wall in frustrated defeat.
All he wanted to do was continue his purpose, continue to protect his race, bring back the freedom— the world they had lost to human kind. What was wrong with that? Why couldn’t they see the noble goal he was pursuing? Why did everyone insist on standing in his way instead of helping him as they should!?
“Help others?” the little snapper had asked one time, right after Draxum finished patching up the latest batch of needless injuries.
“Correct. Everything I am doing, everything you are training for, is to help the yokai race. They are too blind to see the threat that walks free right above our heads, but I am not. I have not grown comfortable in the years of peace!”
Subject One had nodded wordlessly, and Draxum had patted his head warmly. His growing soldier had understood their noble purpose. At last, someone that would help him in his endeavor.
Or would have helped him, if the rat hadn’t taken him away.
The rat, the rat, the rat! Draxum had never regretted anything he had done, not once, not for a minute. He had a noble purpose, a goal to achieve true peace, true freedom, but the rat— bringing Lou Jitsu to his lab that day.
That was one thing he regretted.
Draxum had fought, he had tried to recover the stolen subjects time and again, he had called for Subject One to come back, but to no avail. Lou Jitsu was a skilled warrior, and ultimately a despising human .
Lies, lies, lies, whatever lies he told to his soldier, the tallest turtle had not responded to Draxum’s orders back then. On the contrary, on the few instances where Draxum had caught sight of his missing subjects, it was only to witness as the snapper ran away from him, with the smaller turtles in his hold.
Thirteen years. It had been thirteen years now, since his lab first exploded. Since Subject One was taken away, along with the other three smaller subjects. Draxum idly wondered… what was the turtle’s reality like? How big had he grown, how skilled, had he continued training? What did Lou Jitsu want his subject for? What purpose did he serve now, away from Draxum’s guidance?
Thirteen years without access to his mystic energy. The loss of his lab, his notes, his experiments, his commander, and the most recent loss of his eye.
It wasn’t too long a time, there was still hope, it was still worth it. In a sense, those years invested on the mass production of the mosquitoes were also to keep Subject One safe, however indirectly. Draxum could not have a direct impact on the conditions of his survival, but that didn’t matter.
For as long as the snapper breathed then there was hope of a reunion.
“Baron Draxum,” the new visitor’s voice had been raspy, very unlike the one from the government official he was used to speaking with.
He was startled, still unused to his blind spot even after a year, but he didn’t flinch or let it show in his body language. He had simply turned his head to see the unknown visitor.
Visitors, plural. Two men with fire enlightening the top of their heads. What race did they belong to?
“That is indeed, my identity.”
“We have a proposal for you,” the larger man said. They had the print of the sole of a foot in their faces. What kind of clan mark was that?
In the end it didn’t matter, Draxum didn’t have many options but to listen, trapped as he was.
And oh, how sweet their proposal was.
The Kuroi Yōroi. He had heard of it in old legends, his older brother had liked to tell him stories about how their new teapot was in reality the helmet of the powerful demonic armor. Draxum had been much too young, he couldn’t remember the details very clearly… but his brother had been excited. There had been light in his eyes, very different from the tired stare that had haunted the last years of his life.
“I hate humans,” the venom coating his brother's voice had been very different from the curious boosts of energy that had so characterized him, before the war started. “ I wished they all would drop dead. Leave us alone.”
Draxum's family had been one of the few ones that clung to their birthright to remain on the surface, that did not cower when faced with humanity's fear of their differences. They had managed to succeed, for a time.
In that lapse of time, they had learned to keep to themselves, to trust no one, and most importantly: that only the strong survived.
“To all things housed in her silence… nature offers a violence.”
'Blood upon the snow' had been his father’s most-frequent chanting.*
“The trees deny themselves nothing that makes them grow. No rainfall, no sunshine… no blood upon the snow.”
“Father is correct,” his brother would sigh, shoulders growing lax as the rain poured over them. “Father is… correct. We need to be stronger, Drax. We will not be able to fend off the Hamato clan if this continues as it has.”
Draxum had feared, respected his father with all of his being. The lessons were harsh, the training was unforgiving, but at the end of the day that was the reason he was strong enough to survive war.
His brother had always carried the worst, heaviest lessons. His older brother had always been the one to guide Draxum on how, where, and when to hide from their father.
Rhistel had always said he would keep their father's attention focused elsewhere, somehow.
“You wait for me,” his older brother had always ordered, a larger hand pressing his head. “I will come get you once he is calmer.”
Sometimes it was a matter of hours. Sometimes it was days—
“Well? What do you say?”
— and one day he never returned.
Draxum sighed and closed his eyes. Tears were unproductive. His brother had been too weak to survive, that was how things were, that was Father’s lesson. In the end, they both had been… too weak to survive.
“Humanity as a race, is a threat that must be completely annihilated,” he repeated the lesson that his family had taught, all those centuries ago. He needed to act, for the safety of the yokai race, for the fading memory of his family—
“I love you Drax.” A show of fang as his brother smiled and ruffled his hair. “My brilliant little brother.”
— for Rhistel, the brother that would never pat his head again.
“Uh, yeah? I mean! Yeah! Of course!” The larger man nodded quickly. “You’ll be able to do that, to do anything. The dark armor will give you the power to!”
Draxum nodded once and stood up, straightening to his full height.
“We have a deal then.”
(x)
The Kuroi Yōroi had temporarily restored the eye he had lost. For as long as he wore the armor, he was at full health, powerful, invincible.
He had found his missing subjects.
They left him no choice but to fight against them.
“Do not worry Subject One, this will not kill you.”
His vines had pierced a shoulder, careful to not damage the main arteries, but Subject One seemed to still be stuck in that mindless beast state that had governed during the fighting exercises.
He tried another tactic.
“The yokai have a right to this world too!” His brother had deserved to. “What is so wrong about wanting to be able to walk under the sun once more, without the need of disguise? The freedom to roam Earth without the constant need of a cloaking brooch!”
He directed his next attack towards the box turtle.
Subject One tackled the smaller specimen before it landed, as purple vines pressed down on his shell.
“One last chance, Subject One. If you join me, I can teach you how to maximize your potential.” Only the strong survived, that was the simplest rule, couldn’t he see that was all Draxum wanted for him? “Be all that you can be! What is your answer!?”
“YOU MONSTER!”
Something small and strong had barrelled at his side in a hideously familiar manner.
“Lou Jitsu,” he snarled immediately. The rat, the rat, the rat!
The cause, the reason, the catalyst of everything that had gone wrong in his plan.
And he was not alone. The red eared slider and the softshell were also present.
Their fighting progress was impressive in all their amateur glory. The red eared slider was fast, flexible, and stumbled on thin air in a thousand and one wasted movements, wasted time, wasted effort.
Such a waste of space.
The portals were interesting, but much too small, much too predictable, as the runes that preceded their opening became visible to his enhanced eyesight. He could tell where they would appear, know where they would lead, and thus evade and use them against his opponents.
The spiny softshell was not even using his birthright, not accessing his mystic power. Technology, disgusting, human technology , how could any creation of his rely more on human knowledge than in the yokai’s runes and mystic arts!? Such a disgrace to their ancestors, to all that preceded, to all that walked the Earth before him.
“Oh, do the children wish to play?” He smirked as he trapped both turtles in his vines, rejoiced at the telling crack of a dislocated wrist as the slider cried and dropped his weapon.
Another swarm of purple vines had erupted from underneath their feet. The rat came back, managed to free the slider. Draxum strengthened the ones keeping the softshell trapped in turn.
“Donnie!” the human girl cried in…. concern? For a yokai, a mutant?
“Focus on me Draxum!” the rat snarled as he charged forward. “Focus on me and leave my sons alone!”
His sons?
“You two are mine, and I will be the one to decide when you die,” his father had snarled after they were forced to retreat for the first time. “Survive until I say otherwise.”
Draxum was the one that created them, they were his , all of them, he had the right to decide what their fate would be, and nobody else.
“What gives you the right to claim them as anything of yours?” he snarled back. “They all are mine! I was the one to create them!”
He pushed his enemies back, even if he lost the softshell in the process.
The softshell was bleeding now, but it didn’t matter. Injuries of that degree would heal fast enough, his formula would ensure it. They had been engineered for survival, engineered to represent the greatness of the yokai race, why couldn’t they understand!?
“Why should the yokai fear and bend to humanity’s will, when they are the weaker race— humans are the ones that should bend and beg for mercy!”
Had his brother begged for mercy, before his life was taken? Had he pleaded, told them his little brother was still waiting for him to come back?
Did he even have enough time to plead before his life was stolen?
He growled at the mere notion. “The Great Baron Draxum provides only a single warning. Join me, or perish.”
They all remained silent, as the slider cradled his injured arm, standing still behind the snarling rat, and the human girl passed a green arm behind her shoulders to support the still-reeling softshell.
He glanced at the two that had yet to rejoin the battle. The box turtle was tugging at the larger arm of the unresponsive snapper.
He offered a welcoming hand to the subject he had grown attached to, the one that understood his noble goal.
“Come here, Subject One. Join me. It is not too late yet.”
And much to his surprise, Subject One approached him, indeed.
He didn’t reek of fear, like he had when Draxum first spoke to him, before their reunion turned into a battlefield.
“You called for me,” the snapper spoke for the first time, as his vines blocked the projected fist that was acting in place of the limp, injured arm. “So here I am.”
What was that supposed to mean?
“Desist at once, Subject One. This is an order!” Draxum snarled, as he defended while trying to not provoke long-lasting damage.
“Don’t waste your breath,” his creation snarled. “You will not—”
“ — lay a single finger on my little brother.” The echo of his brother’s memory overlapped. “You will have to go through me first!”
Draxum’s breath hitched, as he pushed the biggest turtle away from him.
The red projection grew longer, larger, losing solidity as it bypassed the vines defending him, only to regain it as the glowing fist collided against his armored arm with full strength. He was forced to step back—
“APRIL O’NEIL!”
The sensation of something hard hitting the back of his helmet.
The metal cracked .
And suddenly the power that was flowing from the armor and into his body turned in the opposite direction. Draining, something was draining him, and he was back trapped in the web of that cursed spider, trapped by humans as he cowered and awaited for his older brother to rescue him, trapped and powerless , too weak to survive, too weak to make any difference, too weak, too defective. A runt without horns, without skill to use the family’s telekinetic ability for anything more taxing than crushing a plastic disposable cup—
“I love you Drax.” A show of fang as his brother smiled and ruffled his hair. “My brilliant little brother.”
His skill laid in the use of mystical runes and creations, but what use Draxum could serve, when he was too weak to defend himself once he was stripped from them? What was Draxum’s purpose, if he was too weak to protect himself without armor, too weak to protect his family, too weak to save his older brother?
He had failed his older brother. Draxum had always been able to heal him, to fix him up with his runes… he had created new ones when the ones depicted in his books stopped being enough.
“Thank you Drax, I know I can always count on you!”
But no amount of runes had been able to bring him back.
And no amount of runes could help him escape from his predicament now.
“What’s going on?” Draxum’s weak voice was barely audible, as the pulsating mass continued to squeeze his life force— his mystic energy, his everything, from him. “I feel weak… my… power… be drained…”
He had always been useless without his armor, without his mystic power, without his runes….
“My brilliant little brother.” Warm red irises looking down at him. “We will always have each other, I can promise you that.”
“S-sorry,” he whispered as the darkness consumed the edges of his vision, and the world turned blurry. “Sorry I failed you… Rhistel…”
Draxum had done nothing wrong, and did not truly regret anything, except for two things:
The day he had brought Lou Jitsu to this lab…
“I love you Drax.”
…and the day he failed to reach his older brother on time to save him.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Raph’s ninpo continued to blink back into existence a lot more often now. Purposeful, Raph was looking for them just as desperately as they were looking for him. They all needed that reassurance, the proof that their connection was still present, still real, still alive.
But for the last month, Mikey’s chains had been unable to reach Raph’s shield.
They could still feel Raph’s ninpo come to life, stronger, more stable, like he was closer to them. But everytime Mikey’s chains reached to engulf their big brother in warmth and reassurance, they bounced off.
Something was actively interfering. Instead of chains wrapping tightly around a rock, they were just… projectiles shooted in the same general direction, which lasted for a short moment before they were forcefully deviated elsewhere.
Mikey had cried a long wail when the attempt to reach Raph’s ninpo failed for the first time. It had scared them all so much, the utter fear and despair was so contagious… they had been lucky April was still in the lair back then, she and Cassey had been the only ones to somewhat keep their heads.
Mikey had been crying and rocking in place, with Leon holding him tightly, vacant gaze fixated on the wall. Donnie had frozen in place, all thoughts screeching to a halt as he curled his fists and trembled. His family knew better than to touch him in that state, so at least he hadn’t bitten anyone this time.
Dad had collapsed on his knees, eyes as unseeing as Leon’s as he stared at the floor.
It had been a shock, a terrible one, but even with their connection partially severed, it wasn’t a complete loss. Donnie could still work with it.
Mikey’s attempts at reaching out to Raph’s energy always pointed in the same direction. The dimension didn’t stay there for longer than a glimpse, the time it took for the chains to bounce off and after that it left no record, no trace of it, like it didn’t exist at all.
But they had glimpses, and that had been enough for Donnie to “point the arrow” at the general area it needed to. To get closer, in a sense.
Pinpointing the exact place Raph had landed at was impossible though.
“Raph? Raph are you there, can you hear us?” Leo asked for what had to be the thousandth time.
“Raph, please! Please answer, please!”
“Raph please, we miss you!” Mikey had cried. “Please come back home!”
They all had gathered for Donnie’s first attempt with the portal, they all had been so sure he would be successful, they all had been counting on him, needed him to fix this, Donnie had to fix this, he was the fixing guy, he was the genius, he couldn’t fail—
Except he kept. Failing .
Failure, after failure, after failure, after fail—
“Donnie!” Leo called, sparkly blue interlacing with frustrated purple as Leon’s energy… presence? Spiritual energy? Whatever the fuck this was, helped calm down the worst of it.
“We’re close, we’re so close, I’m sure of it,” Mikey piped up, twitchy hands weakly wrapping around Donnie’s wrist. The golden lines of new cracks extended away from Mikey’s scales and onto Donnie’s own, which then passed over to Leo’s arm like a mystical parasite before they all disappeared.
Having the three of them in physical contact annulated the after effects of Mikey’s strained ninpo almost completely. Having only two of them wasn’t enough, as the scars adorning Leon’s and Mikey’s arms could attest. The both of them were still undergoing daily physical therapy to recover the mobility from the elbows down.
They were engineered to withstand and quickly heal from most external damage, but each attempt Mikey made burned from the inside out. The injuries caused by their own ninpo energy were not something they could easily bounce back from.
“We’re close,” Leon repeated firmly, “but we’ve been ‘close’ for weeks now, and still can’t see anything, not like we do with the other places…”
“Something is actively interfering,” Donnie sighed away the worst of the emotion. Frustration, exhaustion, worry, anger, impotence. Probably a mix of all, who knew? Not him.
“It’s ok Raph, we’ll reach you very, very soon,” Mikey reassured at the glowing pink circle right before it dissipated, just like he always did on every failed attempt.
“We couldn’t see anything this time either,” Donnie scoffed, but didn’t pull away from his brothers yet, even if being sandwiched in the middle was far from his favorite thing.
“Yeah… whatever is blocking us is doing a pretty good job at it,” Leon groaned, finally letting go of Donnie’s shoulder in favor of turning around, to look at the ‘Dimensional Chart’ they used to keep track of all the dimensions they had managed to peek into.
Turtles, all so different, all the same. They had recorded their existence with photos and pinned them on the board.
Who would have thought that having ninja mutant turtles living in the sewers of New York was such a common thing? Audio was never an option, but they had at least gotten visuals. It was more than what they had managed to get from whatever dimension Raph was currently stranded at.
“Ok, so what else is a common factor, other than, you know, turtles? I mean, there’s a turtle with blue bandana in every dimension we’ve peeked into, even if they’re obviously not as handsome and cool as I am—”
“Get to the point, Leo,” Donnie muttered absentmindedly as he laid his shell over a skateboard and rolled under the machine. The amount of raw energy that cylinder emanated always fried up some of the circuits, Donnie had fixed them so many times across their attempts, he could do it with his eyes closed now.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m getting there Dee. What I mean is, what if it’s not just us? Like, what if they also have a Big Mama, or the Foot clan, or that kid Baxter? Someone that could be keeping their dimension hidden from everyone outside, us included.”
Donnie hummed with interest. He could somewhat picture it. Big Mama would somehow have an artifact, or someone working for her, to use the mystics to hide their dimension away. The Foot clan would possess ancient writings, of the time where humans and yokai lived in harmony over the surface, and use a combination of both mystic science and human science to hide. Baxter, although not as good as Donnie was with tech, could probably reach a similar effect if he dedicated his life to it. Maybe even succeed by the time he was an actual adult.
“Someone like Draxum?” Mikey whispered cautiously.
Donnie froze up in his place below the machinery.
Draxum was… a genius on the mystic, wasn’t he? The Hidden City depended on him to renovate and patch up their security holes. Big Mama had said as much, and the official that stopped Donnie last time just confirmed it—
“...frick, I hope not. Raph wouldn’t be… ok with that.”
“Raph wouldn’t be Raph,” Mikey corrected. “Puffs or maybe Savage, depending on the circumstances. Especially considering Mind Raph is still with you.”
“I mean, we don’t know if that’s how it works across dimensions. Maybe each of us has a copy now?”
Donnie tuned the conversation out, hands moving mechanically, purple ninpo transforming into the tools he needed to fix things up even as his mind divagated.
Big Mama had had the artifact, the perfect item they had needed as a power source for interdimensional travel. Cassey had brought them an old scroll the Foot clan had in their possession; it had helped Donnie figure out how to ‘point the arrow’ in a direction close to where Raph was.
Did they need Draxum’s expertise on the mystics to overcome whatever thing was keeping them out? Was that what they needed to succeed?
Donnie didn’t need Baxter, he knew technology, that was his only strength — he was too weak to defend himself, once he was stripped from it. The Shredder had just confirmed that fact — that was the reason Donnie existed to begin with.
If Raph was ‘the big brother, the one that was biggest’ and thus existed to take care of them — to offer the warm, emotional comfort, to lead and guide them away from danger, to provide food and substance on their early years where Splinter couldn’t do it, to take the hits in battle that were too heavy for the rest of them to withstand without breaking something — then Donnie’s reason to be was to fix everything, to put his tech to good use, to make life in the sewers comfortable, to shield them from everything he possibly could.
Donnie was the tech expert, that was his purpose. It didn’t matter if he was too weak to protect himself without armor, he would always find a way to shield his family, ensure their survival — with the security system of the lair, the support items, the escape pods, the trackers, — and he would find a way to save his older brother.
Except nothing he tried was working. He had failed his older brother. Donnie had always been able to fix it, fix it, fix it— he was the genius, he created new tech, new hardware, new software, when the ones in existence stopped being enough.
He could innovate, he could make Betas with his ninpo to speed up the process, so he didn't waste time and materials on the ones destined to fail. He could play with the variables infinitely until he finally found the answer, except this time there was no answer, and no amount of tech was bringing Raph back home.
No amount of tech was fixing it.
But Draxum was the expert on the mystic, he knew things nobody else did…
“I understand you child, believe me I do,” the yokai that had stopped him from ‘paying a visit’ to the imprisoned goat had huffed. “I’d also vote for a death penalty considering all the shit he’s done. But the city needs him alive for a while longer. The Head Council has been noting down all the solutions he’s provided across the years, but even then… the records are nowhere near done. It’s not all of it.”
Donnie had hissed at their incompetence. If it were him, if he had an ounce of talent to understand that mystic nonsense, he would have torn apart the city’s shield to build it anew a long, long time ago. If they didn’t have the original architectural plans then all they needed to do was disassemble and reassemble it, that way they would understand how it worked and could start to replicate it. It was logical!
“Earth to Donnie! Helloooooo~ Is anyone in there?”
Donnie rolled his eyes, and pushed himself out from underneath the machine.
Paying a visit to Draxum perhaps would help.
Notes:
FANART:
Look at Raph and Puffs fighting WHEEZE they're such a disaster, annoying each other is their love language xD and this x-over TEB x GitS x Snapdragon Magma doodles!! The Clifford agenda, my beloved >w< and this one is so funny, Don't worry he doesn't bite Raph says while Dee is very much on Feral Cat Mode in his arms WHEEZE and AHHHH the angst jumpscare!!! TnT Baby Raph in the training fields he's so hurt! QnQ Sobs, collapses, dies, he's in the process of getting his scarsAUTHOR NOTE:
*** The song in this section is “Blood upon the snow” by Bear McCreary y Hozier. It fits the backstory of TEB’s Draxum quite well~ And no, just because he has a sob backstory doesn't mean Draxum will be redeemed xD he's very much unwilling to recognize his mistakes and change for the better.
But OHHH do tell me, do you see? The parallels! THE PARALLELS AHAHA!
Generational trauma my be-loathed! This time present in someone unwilling to change or admit he did anything wrong ever~ the similarities with 12!Splinter ksksks and ohhh the parallels with Draxum and 12!Shredder, both having their family line extinguished by the Hamato clan~ :D
Rhistel, my goat big brother, he tried so hard to shield Draxum from the worst of it and ultimately… well. The parallels with Raph! Big bros protect, indeed~ and last but not least, the parallels with Draxum and Dee, both relying on something outside of them (tech and mystics) to feel less “weak” and to be “useful for their family”. Both love and try to save their eldest brother…
I could rant about this all day, and as a matter of fact I DID RANT AHAHA! Thank you Chloe and Therma and Li for wilding with me, talking about Draxum's backstory is so much fun!!
This is the last chapter I had on the "ready to publish" pile, so we're officially back on the "Saturday, whenever is ready," schedule ;) I'll try to aim for at least a chapter per month~
Thank you for reading up to this point, and thank you for your time if you interact with this fic in any shape or form!! I really love, love, love all of it >w<
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 28: Prison Break
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Prison Break
(4.8K words)
Leo? Uhm, I know it’s hard buddy, but can you wish I was gone—
“Mind Raph, I can’t.” Leo sat up in his bed, he was not getting any sleep tonight anyway. “I’m— you’re the only semblance of him that I have right now and I miss him—”
I wouldn’t be gone forever! I just have an odd feeling and want to check on something, that’s all. Come on, give me a hand?
Leo sighed, rubbing his tired eyes as if that could ease the headache. He hadn’t slept very well this past week, maybe a couple of hours per day, if at all. He missed wearing his pajamas, but buttons were difficult considering the nerve damage he was still recovering from.
Come on, pretty please?
Another deep sigh. “I wish you were gone...”
That has no energy at all. Come on Leo, you can do it! Remember sometime Raph made you mad? An instance where you wished you were truly alone—
Leo huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “They’re all my fault, you know? He snaps because I act stupid—”
No, no, no, don’t turn this into another self-deprecating session, we’ve talked about this!
Yeah, they had talked about this, much to Leo’s dismay. Mind Raph was kind, cheerful and comforting, but he was also a pushy, much-to-knowing overseer that somehow found the master key to open all the doors Leo usually kept tightly closed.
A silent presence observing everything he did, said, and thought; all the time.
Sorry you feel that way, I don’t mean to snoop around… or make you uncomfy. I just— it’s my role to know things. I know everything, I need to know everything. I coordinate others too, but you don’t have anyone else in your headspace… so I’m taking a full dive in my comforting and healing role! Ain’t ya’ lucky?
“Now I really wish you were gone,” Leo groaned and rubbed his face, because he couldn’t even complain in his head about Mind Raph without said entity hearing him.
He felt both guilty and annoyed. Privacy was a concept! Mind Raph’s visits were usually short, just to pull him out of a bad place or advice on something he was struggling with, but now that he was stuck in his headspace it was… oddly comforting but also very much like having a giant eye right above his shoulder, observing and judging—
Leo felt like he was being hugged, the encompassing warmth of being completely hidden away by giant arms, and he unwillingly relaxed his shoulders.
Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to invade your privacy, I really wasn’t supposed to stay here for so long. I try to not bring up the skeletons hiding in your closets, but I can’t help but comment whenever you start to think so badly about yourself! So no more self-deprecating thoughts, and we’re good. Yeah? Sounds right?
Leo couldn’t help it, changing mentality was not an easy nor fast process. Did that make him stupid? Probably yes—
Of course not, you’re trying your best!
“Ugh, dammit,” Leo groaned, finally standing up from bed. If he stayed alone with his thoughts he would have Mind Raph ranting about self-love and self-esteem and who knows what else for the whole night.
No thanks. It was an ungodly hour, which meant everyone but Donnie would be fast asleep, which meant it was annoy-Dee time, his favorite time of any day.
So he got out of bed, intent on visiting the lab to see what was up with his twin.
He accidentally knocked over his lamp in the process. He looked mournfully at the fallen item, knowing it would be hard to pick up considering his damaged nerves.
The mystic cracks adorning his hands and forearms weren’t as painful as they had been when Leo first got them, but they still messed up with his ability to do stuff like using cooking utensils, writing, lifting stuff, grabbing stuff. Mikey, in particular, was having a hard time not being able to draw or cook, since those were usually his go-to for relaxing.
Leo hated asking for help, so the lamp could remain on the floor for however long it was necessary. Right now some tea would be nice. Maybe… yeah, maybe Donnie could put a straw on his tea so he could drink without having to—
“Donnie?”
His thought process was interrupted when he saw Donnie tip-toeing in the hallway that led to the exit, which happened to be close to Leo’s room. His twin halted midstep and slowly turned to face him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Oh, hey Leo,” Donnie said with an attempt at a grin, leaning his whole weight on his tech-bo. “I am here for reasons that you would definitely consider an acceptable response for my not-suspicious behavior.”
Leo inwardly facepalmed at the same time as Donnie whispered “nailed it,” under his breath.
Outwardly though, he smirked and got closer.
“Oh, I’m sure,” Leo nodded like that made perfect sense, even as he put on the belt with the katana holder he had left on the sofa. His fingers twitched involuntarily as he did so, wrist and forearm trembling. “I’mma come by.”
“Excuse you?”
“For your acceptable, not-suspicious behavior,” Leo made a gesture and raised both eyebrows, smiling wider. “I’m coming with you.”
Donnie frowned at him, obviously annoyed.
Leo batted his eyelashes and gave the most patronizing chirp he could give. “Unless your perfectly innocent behavior is actually not?”
“Ugh,” Donnie rubbed his eyes tiredly.
Leo snorted and took the opportunity to try for a one-armed hug, but his twin rudely smacked him off with the bo staff with a short hiss.
“Why don’t you love meeee,” Leo loudly whined, placing the back of his hand on his forehead for emphasis, which earned him another smack and a shhh!
“Shush the drama, I’m thinking!”
“About your evil plans?”
“About my evil— no! Leo, you shouldn’t— you still need to…” Donnie started, going from frustrated to concerned as he gestured at him. “Your hands.”
Leo crossed his arms. “I’m good enough to grab the handle of my katana.”
“And not enough to actually move it.”
“It’s called to ‘strike,’ you uncultured swine—”
“Whatever, you can’t fight shit! So no, you can’t—”
“Slander! I can open up portals, I can still swing the katana if I do it carefully. And my ninpo juice is doing great! Oh, you insult me so—”
“Leo.”
“ — I am so offended I could CRY. SO LOUD—”
“Shhh!” Dee hissed, pointing a finger to Leo’s nose threateningly.
Leo gave him an innocent smile. “Come on Dee, you don’t wanna walk all the way over to wherever you’re going, do you?”
Dee rolled his eyes and groaned the desired result: “Ok, fine, you can come with. Just don’t overdo it! Leave the fighting to me.”
“I’ll behave!” Leo winked and grinned,crossing his arms behind his head in a confident pose that also served to hide the tremors of his recovering fingers. “In fact, I’m in my behaviest behavior to have ever behaved—”
“Why are you like this?”
Leo raised an eyebrow and gave his twin a look. “Said the one that has an innocent, not-evil plan that still involves fighting.”
“If the bastard cooperates then no fighting is needed,” Donnie stated like that told him anything. “Can you open up a portal to the Hidden City? Close to Witch Town.”
Leo nodded and slowly took the katana out of its sheath.
His hand spasmed involuntarily, and the weapon fell to the floor.
“See!? You can’t—”
“No, no, I’m fine, just— just bandage me up! This two fingers are okay-ish, the thumb is the one that’s kinda not—”
“Can’t you be reasonable for once in your life—”
“If you don’t take me with you I’m telling dad and Mikey.”
Donnie groaned and cursed colorfully, hissing up a storm as he angrily took out the kinesthetic bandages from Leo’s medical pouch.
Leo offered his arms to his twin. Donnie snarled and sighed worriedly, but did wrap up his palms and wrists, so he would have a firmer grip. It was a bit painful, like ants were trying to walk inside his veins and found they barely had any space to continue moving forward.
Leo couldn’t stay for too long with the bandages on, but they did serve their purpose supporting his movements. The second try at grabbing the katana’s handle was successful.
So Leo proceeded to do what he did best, which was to open a blue portal and annoy his way into getting answers once they landed at Witch Town.
(x)
He got answers. He didn’t like the answers.
Turns out, Witch Town was close to the Police Station of the Hidden City, which in turn was close to the Prison, which held a certain person Donnie needed to visit.
This probably wasn’t a good idea.
Please no, please return, Draxum— Draxum will not help. Please don’t go in there alone!
Yeah, not exactly the first option Leo would come up with either. The goat yokai would not help them willingly even in the odd chance he did know something, so this was going to be messy, one way or another.
But if Donnie, out of all people, was the one turning to mystics in his search for solutions, then they probably didn’t have many options left to explore. And Raph still needed them, every day that passed was just another day lost, they had no way to know how he was doing…
No, no, no, please—
“It’s ok Mind Raph, we can handle it,” Leo reassured with the magic words, because the only way to shut Mind Raph up was by saying he could ‘handle’ things. He mildly wondered if that was Raph’s way to ask to remain fronting… or to be left alone…?
“What did he say?” Donnie asked softly, tapping at his wrist as he played with something on the screen.
“That this is a dumb idea,” Leo shrugged.
Donnie snorted through his nose, amused even if his face remained neutral. “Yeah, that sounds like him. Ok Leo, remember, you can’t—”
“Teleport or portal while inside the prison, yeah, I know.”
Leo couldn’t teleport them directly to the bastard's cell, which meant there was no easy way in and out of the building. A semblance of competency from the people in charge of overseeing the prison, at least compared to some of the stupidity they had seen in other areas of the Hidden City.
Donnie nodded and started to sign instead of talking, so Leo got into Mission mode and fell silent at his side.
Cloaking brooches didn’t work here, so they did the next best thing and stepped inside with a ‘Witch Internship’ pass, which must have been hell to obtain given everyone in Witch Town hated Donnie’s guts.
“You sure this works?”
“It does.”
They used the passes to open the first set of doors. Donnie knew his way inside, which just confirmed what Leo had already suspected: his twin had been here before.
"Is there enough goat left alive for us to speak with?" Leo asked only half jokingly, because if his brother had already paid a ‘visit’ to the ‘lab man’ before…
"Never got to him," Dee admitted with a bothered hiss, the beginning of a snarl interrupted by the fact that they were still trying to not call up for attention. "The design of the yokai city is stupid."
Leo gave his twin a look. "And that stopped you, how?"
"The yokai city is stupid enough to collapse on itself if I blast the fucking goat to pieces," Donnie clarified through gritted teeth. "If he dies, the hidden city will inevitably stop being hidden at some point."
Leo raised an eyebrow in a silent "and you care?" prompt. Donnie rolled his eyes and hissed humorlessly.
"Don't get me wrong, he's only safe for as long as he remains in prison. A single hoof steps out of this building and he's free game, city be damned."
So only if he's a direct threat to the family. Leo hummed in agreement, and passed an arm around his brother's shoulders.
"Look at you, such a nice and reasonable guy—'"
They bumped face-first into a guard. It was bound to happen at some point, they were getting deeper into the building.
"Fuck, please don't freeze my house again," the guard muttered quickly as soon as she saw Donnie, sliding her claws at a specific section of the wall and letting them enter without asking a damn thing.
"I take it back," Leo smirked teasingly at his twin once the door closed behind them. "Look at you, such a not-nice, unreasonable—"
"Shut up Leo."
“Dee, you know I love you and all—”
“Cheers.”
“— but sometimes I wonder if you somehow turned evil without anyone realizing—”
“Haha, he said sarcastically,” Donnie rolled his eyes. “I was raised better than that, and you know it.”
Not by Splinter, went unsaid. It was a topic they didn’t see eye-to-eye on, and the middle of a prison break wasn’t exactly the best place to talk about messed-up family roles, so Leo just shrugged and let it drop.
“Who is here so late?” A deep, threatening voice echoed from the darkness around them, as if coming off from the very stone walls. “One more step and you will be arrested for trespassing— oh, it’s you again kid.”
The voice went from threatening to exhausted in the span of a single second, as a tall, lean yokai with multiple eyes greeted them, body materializing from the shadows of the ceiling.
They looked young, remarkably so, considering they were already in a position that granted access to the deeper levels.
“Kid, we’ve talked about this before.”
“I’m not gonna—” Donnie made an offended face, before signing: “I need to talk with him about something.”
“Consultant, eh?” The eyes on the left side of the head were staring at Leo, even as the right side remained focused on Donnie. “What for?”
“Personal matters,” Donnie signed with a serious expression.
The guard hummed. The eyes on Leo’s side blinked sideways. Oh, this yokai was aquatic maybe? No, the extremities and skin didn’t seem suited for water… and the head was kinda owlish, even if the body didn’t have a single feather.
“Just this once kid, since it’s you who’s asking,” the guard said softly, and Leo wondered just how the heck they knew each other. “But be aware. Nothing goes in or out of that area without someone to open the door from my side. My shift ends in twenty minutes, so you won’t have any longer than that.”
Donnie nodded once, signing a quick “thank you,” followed by a sign that Leo didn’t recognize, so he assumed it was the guard’s name. A mix of ‘friend’ and ‘shadow’.
Leo smiled charmingly. “Thanks buddy-bud, what’s your name? Pronouns too, pretty please.”
“You’re brothers, eh?” the guard huffed, apparently amused as they turned their back on them to draw something on the wall with a small, round object. “I see what you meant now, Ottello. Mine are annoying little shits too.”
An older brother then! Relatable, no better way to gain allies than by being relatable.
“Well, my little shit here is fantastic,” Leo patted the battle shell heartily.
Donnie immediately swatted his arm away. “For the last time, I’m the older— whatever . Whatever. We’re not doing this here.”
“Tread carefully. He’s weak, affected by his last escape attempt, but you know… mind’s still as sharp as always.”
“We’re counting on it,” Leo reassured confidently when Donnie remained silent.
The guard hummed once more, and continued to draw a complex, glowing set of symbols on the previously smooth surface. Designed to take time to draw, the door would not open quickly during an emergency, risking the prisoner and whoever was inside visiting staying trapped if something happened to the building.
Or if something happened to the yokai opening the door from this side of the wall.
“How many tries did it take you to learn this?”
Because wow, guard–yokai was still drawing, Mikey would be fascinated. Leo tried to remember the design for the future, in case they needed it, but he didn’t have the eye for art-details like the box turtle did, and the symbols had a lot of twists and tweaks, like roots growing and interlacing over each other in specific spots, at a specific time.
“Complex and time-consuming, I know. Ironically, Draxum himself was the one to design this prison. This level was for the ‘lowest of the low’ is what the manual says. I bet he never thought he would be the one trapped here one day, otherwise he would have made an escape route or something.”
The guard chuckled, and Leo saved that piece of trivia in his head. Draxum knew the layout of the prison building then, no wonder he had escaped so easily after this first and last roadblock was lifted, if the layout had remained unchanged for... centuries?
“Soooo, you haven’t changed anything in all these years?” Leo asked somewhat incredulously.
“I know it’s stupid, but it doesn’t depend on me, kid. So no, every lock and key remains the same as Draxum originally designed it.”
So even after the foot clan proved how weak this cage was, nothing changed. Leo shouldn’t have expected any better from the Hidden City, but he was still very disappointed.
“Go figure,” Leo mumbled at the same time as Donnie hissed angrily.
Donnie’s philosophy of ‘if he steps out he’s free game,’ made a lot of sense now. It was stupidly likely for that to happen at some point in the future.
At least the Shredder’s cursed armor had absorbed Draxum’s lifesource and mystical-ness and all that, so he would be easy to deal with if it came to a confrontation, hopefully.
You were drained out of mystical energy too, Leo. Mind Raph whispered urgently. And you’ve recovered well.
I’m awesome like that, Leo winked internally, even as he made a mental note to not underestimate the ‘evil lab man’ that had so haunted Raph’s childhood.
At last, after what felt like a small eternity, the drawing was completed and a piece of the wall ‘dissolved’ so they could step in.
“The one at bottom left,” the guard instructed right before the wall ‘reappeared’ once more. Long opening time, short closing time. They really would be screwed during an emergency.
Donnie took out his bo staff, the technological glow of a charging machine encompassing his weapon and battle shell as he stepped forward, leading the way. Leo forced his trembling fingers to wrap around the handle of his katana.
The corridor was long. Whether there were other cells hidden here or not was unclear, since there was only one door available for them to enter. Right at bottom left, as the guard had mentioned.
"Friend of yours?" Leo whispered.
Donnie signed a hurried "Not now," and kept moving forward. Yeah, fair enough.
Walking in complete silence, muscles tense and ready to lash out, they finally stopped in front of the closed door. They couldn’t see inside.
“Ready?” Leo signed at the same time as Dee opened the door without an ounce of hesitation.
The bars shone a strong silver, as if they were brand new and not centuries old. The goat yokai was leaning against one of the walls, ear twitching in their direction as the door opened fully.
His head turned to face them, a single sharp, red eye traveling up and down as he took them in.
“Comfy?” Leo chirped when his twin remained silent, bo staff shaking slightly as Dee took deep breaths through clenched teeth, obviously trying to contain the rage seeing Draxum caused. If looks could kill, the goat would have combusted on the spot.
Leo was better at hiding it. His tone and pose remained relaxed, even as his smile grew into something that looked more like a show of teeth.
“Failure,” Draxum snarled at Leo with a mocking nod, “and Disgrace. My perfect formula, my perfect work, wasted on the likes of you—”
Dee hissed, bo staff charging the canon as he pointed the barrel at the goat’s face.
“Here to claim the remaining eye?” Draxum quirked an eyebrow, unimpressed, unmoved by Donnie’s threatening gesture. “You would have to—”
Donnie lowered the barrel and shot at a leg.
“—open the door first, you buffoon,” the yokai finished unperturbed, resting his chin on a fist. The bars had glowed a pure white, absorbing the laser beam seamlessly.
Dee snarled silently, chest heaving. Leo stepped in front of his twin, purposely in between them.
“Last I checked we were not the ones locked up behind bars,” Leo grinned sharply. If he could twirl around the katana he would, but as it was he barely managed to tip the weapon down without dropping the handle. “Come on, don’t you get bored there, huh?”
Draxum was no longer looking at them, gaze focused on Leo’s hand.
On his arms, to be more exact. The bandages covered his palms and wrists, but the golden lines extending towards his elbow like tree branches were still visible.
“You are even more useless and stupid than I first thought,” Draxum said with a disgusted expression. “Destroying yourself from the inside out, and doing so repeatedly. For how long do you intend to spit on my hard work?”
Leo leaned forward, still smiling. “Ah-la-la~ believe me, if I could spit on you directly I would, but that’s not why we’re here. You hate us, we hate you, so let’s keep this chat short, yeah?”
“Engineered to survive, and they still manage to find ways to self-destruct,” Draxum muttered under his breath, fingers pulling at his goatee pensively. He didn’t seem to have registered Leo’s answer at all. “First degree, still fixable. Full recovery estimated to take two days, if the proper procedure is followed.”
The voice was devoid of emotion, like he was so focused on the condition itself that he had lost sight of who, exactly, he was giving his diagnosis to.
“...what’s the proper procedure?” Donnie whispered, noticeably forcing himself to speak instead of sign. He put his goggles on, another layer to distance himself from Draxum.
“It is a simple ritual,” the goat answered without looking at them, single eye still studying the golden marks on Leo’s arms. He traced the floor with his finger, as if he were drawing something inside a circle. “Quite simple. Three meters should suffice.”
The prisoner repeated the movement, and Leo could hear the goggles zooming into the gesture, recording. Thank pizza, because no one but Mikey would be able to replicate that with any sense of accuracy. With the video Mikey could probably draft it, so they could look it up in the mystic library to ensure it wasn’t anything dangerous before trying it out.
Lab man was the supposed expert on the stuff, after all.
“...so what, this is fixable with runes?” Leo quirked an eyebrow.
“All magic originates from runes, something you would know already if you had had a proper instructor,” Draxum snarled, blinking out of his hyper-focused reverie to glare at Leo, then at Donnie. “If you learned about your birthright instead of fooling around with human inventions.”
He seemed to hate technology, almost to the same degree Dee had hated the mystics, once upon a time.
Leo pointedly didn’t dwell on that comparison. “Wanna correct that?”
“Teach us then,” Donnie hissed at the same time, the end of the bo staff slamming against the floor harshly.
An ear twitched, but other than that Draxum remained unfazed.
“Why would I teach a failure and disgrace, something as ancient and noble as the mystic arts?”
“Nah, not about this,” Leo dismissed, pointing at his twitching hands with his nose. “We need—”
“I could not care less for your needs,” Draxum scoffed as he stood up with scary velocity, towering over them even from his place in the prison cell, as he got as close to the bars as it was physically possible. “If you want me to teach, bring me someone worthy of said knowledge.
“Bring here Subject One.”
Leo had known that was coming, but he was still unable to keep himself from reacting. The aloof charade dropped as his shoulders tensed up, and the smile transformed into a disdainful snarl.
Standing in front of him was the reason Raph had so many scars, both physical and mental. Leo would give anything to be able to ensure the bastard never saw his big brother again, to ensure this scum could never speak about Raph, or Puffs, ever again.
Tell him Raph is missing, Mind Raph said softly.
What? Leo replied incredulously, but couldn’t dwell on his head roommate for long.
Donnie jabbed the bo staff hard against the bars, bolts of bright electricity running over the metal as his attack was intercepted. The shadows that fell over them made both Draxum and Dee look absolutely murderous.
Leo called for his twin, who reluctantly pulled back from the attack.
“This is useless,” Dee signed with one hand, still hissing up a storm as he glared at a wall.
Leo gulped and exhaled the worst of the tension away, forcing himself to meet the bastard’s gaze.
“He is… missing. That’s why we’re here—”
“Leo!?”
“ — we need to find him.”
Donnie shoved him away reprimandingly, a gesture Raph often did whenever he was annoyed at them. “Are you out of your mind!?” his twin signed quickly.
The plan had been to ask about interdimensional travel, and ways to localize stuff and people in said dimensions. Admitting Raph was missing was never part of it.
But they needed to give the bastard a reason to cooperate, otherwise this all was for nothing.
“Subject One, missing?” Draxum repeated, expression shifting into something that almost looked like concern. “Why, what happened?”
Disappointment seemed to overshadow any semblance of care, however, like Draxum was faulting Raph for getting lost.
But it wasn’t Raph’s fault, it was Leo’s. He had messed up, he had fucked up everything, he always fucked up everything, his family would be better off without him, if he wasn’t—
I love you, Leo, Mind Raph interrupted his inner rant. It’s ok, everything will be ok. I’m here for you, lean on me, we’ll fix it together.
“Interdimensional travel,” Dee forced the words out with a wary sigh. “The dimension he landed in is locked up. How do we access it?”
Draxum stared at his twin, then at Leo, then at the marks adorning his arms. Leo could almost see the moment everything clicked together.
“You have the means to open the portal, that is how you know it is blocked. The marks— attempts at a connection, at localizing Subject One. You failed, unable to trespass the shield,” Draxum summarized with scary accuracy. “Numerous attempts, all failures.”
Dee thinned his lips, and Leo could practically see the word ‘failure’ being drilled into his brother’s head in self-inflicted agony.
He knew, because Leo’s mind tried to do the same, but Mind Raph batted it away like one would a fly, muttering soft reassurance and loving words. Warm, always warm, always more understanding than Leo deserved.
Just like the real Raph.
“If you ever want to see him again,” which he would not, Leo would kill him first, if the goat ever tried. “Then tell us how to bring him back.”
Draxum remained silent for a long, long moment, looking contemplative at Leo.
“Forget it,” Donnie hissed as he turned around, “I’ll find a solution, I’ll save my big brother, one way or another.”
Draxum’s breath hitched at that, single eye growing wider for a second, more… vulnerable? Huh?
“Donnie,” Leo called softly before his twin could leave the room, even as he kept his gaze focused on Draxum’s face. “We’ll reach him on time.”
The prisoner shivered, exhaling sharply, if albeit discreetly. Leo wouldn’t have caught it if he wasn’t already looking for it.
“We will save our big bro,” Leo pressed, both victorious and incredibly confused upon seeing the way in which the goat’s face twisted with something like grief and regret. Short lived, nothing but a twitch, but the pain was real and bare for all to see.
Or well, for Leo to see, considering Donnie was still focused on the door that led outside this cell, and Draxum seemed to be looking at something far, far away as he stared unblinkingly at the floor.
This bastard had… lost someone. At least that much was apparent. The lab man was still mourning, it must have happened either recently or… to someone that was very, very close to him.
The goat yokai scoffed as he snapped out of his reverie, pacing angrily inside his cell.
“Describe the shield,” the older man ordered, glaring at the floor as he moved inside like a caged animal.
Donnie turned at that, frowning disbelievingly.
Leo surmised knowing the details behind Draxum’s cooperation could wait for another day — or never, preferably never — and described the shield as best he could.
Notes:
FANART: Look look look at my tragic Goat Family designed by Therma, bless her heart <3 she's the reason why Draxum's backstory is so detailed in my head aksjda
TEB x-overs: DEB babies in PJs All Eldest Brothers fam portrait and Nini leading Raph
AUTHOR NOTE:
Ahhh this chapter has been in my drafts for so long! But alas it was missing the ending and IRL got crazy, so a bit delayed~ but here ya' go. I'm halfway through Ch 29, and then the 30th is practically ready. I'm quite excited for the 30th and 31st, it's gonna be so emotional! <3 so much fun! I may publish one on TEB's aniversary, Oct 26th, I can't believe it's taken me a year to finish this first part of the story akajsda!Thanks for reading! n.n
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 29: Of Rituals and Portals
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Of Rituals and Portals
(7.4K words)
“You did what ,” Splinter spluttered, coughing out his tea, along with absolutely all of the air present in his lungs, heartbeat rising to an unhealthy rhythm.
“Me? I kept Donnie out of trouble, that’s what— wait, not la chancla! ” Blue squeaked in a rush, ducking to avoid a pink sandal to the face.
The shoe bounced back from the wall and hit him at the back of the head in a boomerang motion, the kind only a frustrated parent with ninja training could perform.
“What kind of witchery—” Blue complained. Splinter glared, tail whipping closer to his ankles in warning. “No, no, nevermind, this is me, shutting up, riiiiight now.”
His son made a ‘lips zipped’ motion, or at least something close to it considering the bandages of his hands had been removed, and coordination became difficult once more. Splinter sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.
The softshell was moving restlessly. “Draxum is a piece of shit, but he’s—”
“Purple,” Splinter called.
“ — still knowledgeable on subjects that are not found anywhere else, and we need to hurry, it’s been much too long already, we need to get Raph back, so if you’re expecting me to apologize—”
“I would have gone with you.”
“— you might as well— huh?” Purple finally stopped pacing, turning around to give him a perplexed look.
“I would have gone with you,” Splinter repeated firmly, before sighing his heartache out. “Purple, you are… you are the one that knows best when it comes to these… inventions, the technology. If you believe that our current efforts are not enough to solve things, I would have trusted your word.”
Splinter had considered visiting Draxum as well, but he had thought they still had other options, that it wasn’t absolutely necessary, not yet.
Yet another mistake on his part, apparently.
His most brilliant son blinked at him. Surprised. Silent. He just… stared.
“I would have liked to accompany you. Please, I— next time… if there is a next time. Please let me go with you, please let me know what your plan is.”
Please involve me, rely on me, trust me.
Splinter wanted to say so many things, but in the end, he settled for a simpler: “I love you all, so much. I would never forgive myself if something happened and I was not there to help you, so please… not again. Not for something so risky.”
Their daily missions and games were fine, he knew his boys were strong and capable, they didn’t need him , but for things like this, he really needed to be in the know. For the wellbeing of his old heart, and to ensure theirs.
Purple swallowed loudly and nodded once.
Orange, who had stayed hovering by the sidelines in silence, stepped closer and chirped at him, hugging Splinter’s head as if apologizing in a way Purple could not. The hands of his youngest were still hurting, still twitching and spasming at random intervals, so the pressure came more from the upper section of the arms, which meant their heads were smashed together.
“We love you too, dad,” Orange reassured softly, nuzzling at his cheek in the way he had always done, ever since his tot years. Splinter moved his whiskers, which made his son giggle, ticklish.
That too, remained unchanged ever since his tot years.
“Speaking of trust and sharing plans,” Blue added, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “We still don’t know what you agreed to pay to Big Mama, dad.”
His son gave him a sharp look. Splinter made a dismissive hand motion.
“To bring treasure from the other dimension, once we cross to the other side,” Splinter lied easily. “And I will be taking back a treasure all right. My little red has been stranded alone for long enough.”
The air turned solemn as Splinter redirected them back on the matter at hand.
“My sons, could that— that goat demon provide anything useful?”
Blue gestured with his head at Purple, who handed over his phone to him, and signed: “Possible healing ritual for my dumb brothers’ hands injury. Possible lead to a way to trespass the shield. You won’t like it.”
Splinter hummed, eyes squinting at the screen. Rat vision had never been the best vision, when he had first been mutated his human body had struggled to adapt, and the world had become a blurry of colors. He had found a solution to this problem in the form of contact lenses.
But lately, no matter how many times he changed his graduation the blurriness never faded completely. He didn’t want to make his sons worry, didn’t want to add to the burden they all were facing with a missing son, a missing father figure, brother. Once Red was back home, then he would say something.
Besides, he still could distinguish the scene placed on loop in Purple’s phone, he was not so helpless yet. The screen showed a familiar hand ‘drawing’ at the floor of the prison cell.
Orange pushed his cheek against Splinter’s, humming with interest as he watched the motion on the small screen. His youngest studied the video for nothing but a few seconds, before nodding and walking over to Purple’s desk, unstable fingers grasping the pen to replicate the symbol on paper.
Fingers spasmed, and the pen rolled over the desk. His youngest gave a long sigh and reached for it with his mouth.
“It should look something like this,” Orange muttered around the pen, having decided that this was better for drawing than his trembling hands.
Blue stood up in a single jump, tried to take out his phone, and sent the device falling to the floor in the process.
“Dang it, ugh. Donnie, can you?”
Purple nodded, still silent, and took out his phone to take a photo of the drawing. Splinter stepped closer to Blue to rub comforting circles on the shell. Not being able to use his hands must be incredibly frustrating, in the same way not being able to see clearly was for Splinter.
“We’re still banned from the Mystic Library, but April or Cass should be able to ask,” Blue explained outloud, probably just for Splinter’s sake, giving him a small smile.
“We will trust them with the investigation then,” Splinter nodded, taking in a deep breath as he braced himself for something he probably would hate listening to with all his being: “What did Draxum say about rescuing Red?”
(x)
Splinter would strangle that goat demon, one day.
Purple had recorded their visit. He did not show everything, no matter how much Splinter and Orange insisted, so they had only seen the end of the video, after the goat yokai started to pace inside his cell, asking for the barrier to be described in detail.
Except, verbally describing the barrier was apparently not enough, and when Purple showed him the pink portal in a video recording; Draxum’s face had twisted into a disdainful scowl.
“Disgusting, human technology cannot even attempt to capture the magical radiance the mystic arts possess in their core,” Draxum had raised his chin with an air of superiority. “I will need to see this barrier in person.”
“You're not leaving this place,” Purple had shut down immediately, the underline of an angry hiss coating the words.
“Then you will not reach him on time, “ Draxum had stated with steel certainty. “You will fail to save him.”
The words made Splinter’s fur stand on end, because the yokai— Draxum couldn’t know, he couldn’t be as sure as he sounded, he had no way to know if Red— if his eldest would be…
But the voice was so painfully genuine, certain, the kind of confidence one may find when listening to a war general. That single phrase still evoked all the different ways in which things could go wrong, or that may have gone wrong already. Red was not equipped for solitude, he could not stand it, he would—
He would not be Red.
Splinter could picture the small child the snapper had once been, picture the kid shivering and snarling at him from his place pressed against the room’s corner, scared out of his mind, scared so much he couldn’t even move, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t do anything other than growl and cry and whimper.
Splinter’s hands twitched longingly. He wanted to hold his Red, he wanted to step closer to Savvy and hug his head, reassure them that everything would be fine, that papa was there to take care of things, in a way he had failed to do during their childhood.
With some luck… with some luck, Savvy would not be the one fronting. Chief would keep them alive, he would keep them from starving… and protect them, keep them out of trouble, hopefully.
The rest of the recorded conversation didn’t bring anything new to light. In the end, Draxum had accepted to help them, but would do so only if he came here in person.
Was it really necessary? He didn’t want to believe they had run out of options, but he also knew that his sons— that they would never have approached this particular yokai if they had thought there were other options left.
“Not to our home,” Splinter decided, tail moving agitatedly behind him.
“Sweet Pizza, no,” Blue scoffed, elbows resting on Splinter’s shoulders as his son let his chin fall on the top of his head. “I was thinking, like, maybe we could use one of Donnie’s old places.”
Splinter hummed, ears pulled backwards. Purple had, at some point in his younger years, used some warehouses — for storage only, he had assured, avoiding all questions on how and why and when that even happened — which were closed down after some of his betas were stolen by the Purple Dragons, and his brilliant son decided that the lair was better in terms of security.
“I’ll find one,” Purple signed with a single nod, not yet ready to talk. “We can easily move the machine with one of your portals.”
Blue nodded, digging his chin further into his head in the process. Ouch.
“We need a way to keep him contained,” Splinter muttered uneasily, closing his eyes, deep in thought.
…and because he needed a break from the blurriness. Having his eyes open for too long during the day was starting to give him headaches, as he tried to force his fading gaze to work properly. Deciphering Purple’s signing was straining.
But that didn’t matter right now. Bringing Draxum anywhere close to his family… the idea of physical constraints did not sit well with Splinter. It brought too many memories of spiderwebs and a damp, dark cell; but considering the danger the yokai posed, there was no alternative.
“No access to the mystics, and no range of movement. I guess we’ll need to let him talk. Maybe the use of his not-dominant hand,” Blue thought out loud, twitchy hands falling across Splinter’s collarbone as his son hugged him absentmindedly.
Splinter relaxed and forced his eyes open once more.
“What about transportation and stuff? Do we need to break him out of prison?” Orange bounced in place, too restless to keep still, but too injured to multitask as he usually would.
“We can keep his ‘visit’ underwraps if we make it short,” Purple signed, and Splinter really, really wished he would get back to being verbal soon. “I know someone that can help with that.”
The time passed by as they drafted up the beginning of a plan.
By the time the girls came back with their findings about the ritual Orange drew, it was already late into the evening; almost night, and Splinter had a terrible headache.
“It seems legit,” April pointed at the old, withered page, the symbol picture undoubtedly the same that Orange had drawn, even if the lines were obviously less shaky.
“It is legit,” Cassandra rolled her eyes and passed the hockey stick behind her shoulder. “I double checked in my circle, Curls here just didn’t get the memo.”
The men that had led the Foot Clan had perished under Shredder’s unforgiving claws, but some of the older members were as knowledgeable as they had been when it came to old scrolls, myths and legends. They were lucky Cassandra still had good relations with them, even after abandoning the Foot clan.
“I’ve told you, the library doesn’t allow the wifi to pass through!” April defended.
“You should have checked the mirror I gave you!” Cass insisted, bumping April’s side with her hip.
“I—” April started with a raised finger before deflating dramatically. “I forgot it at Uni…”
Truthfully they all had communication mirrors linked, like the mystical version of a family group chat, but with the wonder of phones the mystical objects were rarely, if ever, used. It was no wonder April had forgotten to grab it, when they were just needed to speak with Sr. Huesos or other yokai in the Hidden city.
“I’ll get it for you once I get my hands back,” Blue winked easily, making a hip movement of his own to try to bump Cassey, who immediately kicked him away from her.
“Don’t even THINK about it,” she warned, always one to roughhouse at every given opportunity, and always one to use very loud exclamations.
“Ugghh, how can Raph stand you is beyond me,” Blue groaned to the ceiling, not even attempting to stand up again.
“Cass, can you draw this for us? I would, you know I would, but… my hands,” Orange gestured with a sad chirp, moving his arms with difficulty.
Cassandra was the one, out of all of them, that was most knowledgeable on how to draw rituals. She was closely followed by Orange and Red, who seemed to have a natural talent for it, but neither of his sons could do it right now, for obvious reasons.
“Yeah, yeah, just get me the chalk.”
“On it!” Sheldon quipped enthusiastically, already flying out of the room.
(x)
(x)
(x)
The healing ritual was a success.
“Shell yeah!” Mikey wo-hooed loudly, jumping up to hang from the ceiling on his arms, balancing back and forth before he let go and spinned gracefully in the air.
“Hands! Sweet, sweeeeeet hand coordination, never leave me again,” Leo kissed his own palms with a loud ‘muah!’ smooch.
“Mikey knows better than to attempt to reach out to other dimensions without both of us present,” Donnie smiled, relaxing as he saw his two brothers move easily, back to normal, at last. “So your hand coordination should remain unaffected in the foreseeable future.”
“I didn’t mean that literally, but thanks Dee,” Leo winked, ducked under Donnie’s lighthearted swat, and hugged him. Donnie allowed it for a whole five seconds before nipping at one arm.
“Ow— hey!”
“Back to normal!! I can finally cook and draw again!!” Mikey squealed, hug-tackling both of his brothers. “I’m so happy I could explode!”
“Don’t blow up in my vicinity, Angelo,” Donnie deadpanned at the same time as Leo snorted and said: “Go explode over there then!”
Mikey laughed, squeezed them closer, and then finally released them.
April stepped closer to the group, carefully grabbing Leo’s arm — the one closest to her — and letting out a relieved chuckle. The golden lines had finally stopped glowing, so they just looked like nothing more than faded-out tattoos.
Leo grabbed his katana with the free arm, twisted it around playfully, and opened a blue portal.
“Let’s go grab your mirror,” he gestured invitingly, with an ‘after you’ motion, and April snorted and shoved him into the portal, laughing at Leo’s undignified gasp.
“We’ll be right back!” she waved with a bright grin.
“I won’t be here by then!” Cassandra replied back before anyone else could, already grabbing her backpack and flinging it behind her shoulder. “Ping me once you’ve grabbed it, Curls!”
“Will do!”
“Thanks for the help Cass!” Mikey exclaimed, cupping his hands around his mouth simply because he could.
The ex-foot soldier waved dismissively and left without another word. She got along ok-ish with all of them, but Raph and April were the only ones that she considered close friends. They fell more into the “my friend’s siblings,” category.
“Orange, can I?” Splinter walked closer to Mikey, one hand stretched.
Mikey nodded and offered his arms, letting Splinter inspect the fading marks of his skin, clawed fingers tracing the lines carefully. The rat mutant was looking much too solemn, carrying the heavy air of regret.
His dad had been having a…. bad day, when it happened. Mikey and Leo had been alone and… they hadn’t known. Nobody had. This wasn’t his dad’s fault.
So Mikey did what he did best, and grabbed him by the torso to lift him up, spinning them around wildly. His dad let out a startled, loud laugh.
“Orange!” Splinter scolded playfully.
“I’m so fine, I can give lifting hugs!” Mikey reassured with a laugh of his own, chirping happily. “Look dad, look!”
“I don’t need to look, I can feel it!” Splinter laughed in delight, keeping his eyes closed, probably due to the rush of air.
Mikey let him down, still in high spirits, and went to hug Donnie once more, who accepted the gesture with a fond chuckle, mechanical arms coming out of his shell to pat his head.
It was a nice way to end a difficult day.
(x)
(x)
(x)
A whole week passed by.
It was longer than Draxum had expected from them, considering how desperate, how concerned and terrified they had been when they came to him seeking answers. Solutions only his most brilliant mind could offer.
The door that led to his cell opened silently, but his ear still twitched. He was always hypervigilant of the door’s movements, usually with a mix of expectation and dread as he wondered who the next visitor would be. Someone from the government, someone from the mafia, that blasted spider yokai?
There was no question on who was coming this time though. He calmly turned his head, looking away from his book to see—
“You,” he snarled, snapping the book close.
“Me,” the rat nodded with a frown, eyes firmly closed. He was flanked by the half-owl yokai, the guard that was assigned most often to this level, and a female humanoid that was wearing some sort of white mask to protect her face.
“So you’re the asshole,” she spat, letting the metal stick she carried tap at the floor consideringly.
“Human scum,” he greeted neutrally, to see if she corrected him on his race assumption.
“Rot in hell,” she lifted the middle finger. What did that gesture even mean?
“Baron Draxum,” the guard stated neutrally, voice echoing from the darkness coating his prison cell as the member of the Shadow Clan stepped closer to his cell, multiple eyes focused on his every move, every drawn breath, every beat of his heart.
Draxum was not being underestimated. He straightened his posture, always more willing to respect those that followed basic etiquette, those that addressed him using his earned title.
“Correct.” He looked up at the taller yokai, who had stepped close to his cell. He didn’t miss the way the shadow of the taller figure shifted, slowly joining Draxum’s own.
“You are being released to perform consultant work in an undisclosed, external location. The rules remain the same as in previous instances, except for the addition of body constraints,” the guard explained emotionlessly, eyes unblinking. “The consequences of breaching the rules remain the same. This work is expected to be fully resolved in a single visit. Any comments?”
“Will there be any official supervising?” Or was this another ‘off the record’ request, like the one the blasted spider yokai had used?
“I will remain in close proximity. You would be wise to collaborate.” The half-owl tilted their head in a bird-like manner, the silent ‘or else’ hanging in the air.
Draxum had faced worse things, had been on the receiving end of more intimidating individuals, like his own father , and thus remained stoic.
He was not impressed. And if he was going to have to interact with Lou Jitsu, with the despicable ex-human that had ruined it all…
“Open my cell and give me ten minutes alone with the rat. ”
The once-champion of the Battle Nexus opened a single eye, staring at him. Was that a mocking gesture, micking Draxum’s partial loss of sight?
“Want any lemonade with that order?” the female scoffed sarcastically, stepping closer to his cell as she raised her stick to attack, but was stopped in her tracks by a single dark wing.
Multiple eyes narrowed in warning, all of them still focused on Draxum. “You are in no position to demand anything.”
“You cannot force me to do anything,” Draxum reminded, lifting his chin in defiance. “If you require my collaboration, you will accept my conditions.”
Silence met his request, as both parties refused to back down.
“Five minutes,” Lou Jitsu said, stepping on the guard’s other side. “Whatever you want with me, you will make it quick, goat demon.”
“I am no demon,” he corrected with a scoff, crossing his wrists behind his lower back as he squared his shoulders. “I am Baron Draxum, a noble alchemist yokai warrior, a master of the mystic arts, and the one you need to make up for your deficiencies. You have nothing to claim for yourself but failures.”
The rat flinched, nothing but a twitch, nothing but a second, but still present, visible, a weakness to exploit.
“If you want to bring Subject One back alive, if you want to see him again, you will bend to my command—”
“You piece of shit!”
“Enough,” the guard extended both wings, one effectively hiding the blasted rat from his gaze, the other one twisting unnaturally to cover the enraged female’s form and neutralize a second attack attempt. “Baron Draxum. I had thought you better than this.”
“Hoh?” Draxum smirked roughly. “Disappointed, are we?”
The upper pair of eyes closed, almost gently, even as the others remained unblinking. “The Baron that is described in the history books is one that is graceful in his brilliance. Admirable, someone worth listening to. Who is this person, mocking a father that searches for his son?”
“His son? Nothing could be farther from the truth!” Draxum scoffed, bringing his arms to the front to hit the bars angrily. “He belongs to me, they all belong to me, I made them, my subjects are—”
The bars dissolved and the skeletal, dark hands took a hold of his wrists. In a span of a single second, the mystic-oppressive cuffs had been placed, runes glowing brightly before they were absorbed by his skin. He would not be able to use his mystics for the next twenty-four hours.
He tried to move his body, step forward, raise an arm, but all he managed was to tremble in place. He could feel his heart racing as he panicked, because he couldn’t move, he couldn't control his own body, the shadow of his captor must have merged completely with his own already—
“Caught,” the guard muttered lightly, one set of eyes curving in an entertained manner. The hands wrapped around his wrists gave him a small squeeze.
It wasn’t malicious. Draxum’s mind conjured a flash of a memory, of a crooked smile and vertical scars. Was this how Rhistel had looked like, when he teased? Back when he still had the humor to tease, before the Hamato clan started to hunt them down, before the war took a turn for the worse…
“Well,” the guard continued when Draxum remained silent. “I am quite honored to have surprised the great Baron Draxum. Please don’t cause any trouble. Now, Miss—”
“I’ll give you a tip if you let me whack him in the FACE!” the female exclaimed as she struggled against the shadows, somehow managing to twist enough to raise the stick above her head triumphantly.
The guard snorted. “Sorry, not on my shift.”
Which was truthful, Draxum knew the other two guards would have allowed it. The half-owl had been the only one to care about Draxum’s mutilated eye, the one that had provided medical attention instead of feigning ignorance.
“Mister,” the guard called to the rat, “we need to follow protocol, I need you two to walk in front of me. Please don’t cause any trouble.”
“Thank you,” the blasted rat nodded, making a sign with his hands. He gestured in an unusual manner, as if he had three fingers instead of five. It wasn’t a sign language Draxum recognized.
“Don’t mention it,” the guard’s voice betrayed his youthfulness as he winced. “Seriously don’t. Not to anyone, in the history of ever.”
“Don’t mention it to Father.” A playful wink, a hair ruffle. Had Rhistel ever sounded so young? He had lost all trace of humor by the time he died, Draxum couldn’t recall if his brother had… but it sounded fitting.
The guard hooted, and Draxum snapped out of his reverie. The feather-less head had twisted 180 degrees, as the young guard advanced forward while facing backwards at him.
“Please follow me Great Baron,” the tone was back to emotionless, as the professional mask was put in place once more.
The female answered before he could. “You mean ‘piece of crap’, right?”
“Cassandra—”
“Oh, come on Splinter. You can’t really—”
Splinter?
Draxum looked at the small rodent once more. Small, thin, a sharp piece of wood embedded on his side. The rat brought nothing but pain and misery.
“You are pathetic,” Draxum snarled at the man, relishing at the small flinch his words caused.
A splinter was also a fragment, broken off from a larger whole. The rodent in front of him was nothing but a broken fragment of the person that had once been labeled the strongest human, the greatest warrior, the champion of the Battle Nexus.
Yes, ‘Splinter’ was a fitting name.
(x)
“Ignorant failures, you really need everything spelled out for you—”
“Wow, you really don’t know how to speak without demeaning someone,” the red slider rolled his eyes, but the grip he had on the katana’s handle was firm. “Mike, he may need a reminder.”
Draxum huffed and looked at the box turtle challengingly. The smallest of the group had wrapped chains around his torso and impaled Draxum head-first against concrete after his initial greeting, demanding respect and a courtesy they had done nothing to earn.
“As many as he needs,” the box turtle grinned sadistically and made a motion, as if he were pushing up invisible sleeves on his arms.
“No more physical violence,” the guard requested with a tired sigh.
The spiny softshell made a gesture with his hands, using that sign language Draxum was not familiar with. The half-owl laughed, entertained, but still shook his head and stepped closer to Draxum.
“Coming back to what we gotta do,” the human that had delivered the final blow when he had adorned the dark armor, April O’neil, gestured to the giant machine while stepping closer to the softshell.
“Unless you’re not as smart as the rumors say,” the other rude human added, walking until she was positioned on the side that was closer to Draxum, but in the opposite direction of the guard. She was looking for the smallest opportunity, a chance to attack without the guard’s interference.
“Filth like you cannot—”
“Baron Draxum, I plead for you to consider a faster resolution, I like this development as much as you do,” the half-owl interrupted, one pair of eyes glancing upward.
Draxum looked up as well, glaring at the rat that was standing on the bars of the ceiling, silently observing his every move, his every word. If his body from the neck down weren’t strapped to a wheeled contraption, Draxum would—
“Baron Draxum,” the guard repeated, placing a hand on his shoulder, in what was probably the only kind gesture Draxum had experienced in the last two years.
The gesture previous to that had been the medical treatment of his injured eye, and he could attribute both kind actions to this same yokai.
“Fine, I will tell you why you are wasting my time, and I will not repeat myself, so pay attention.”
He described the ritual needed, a combination of runes he had never needed to use before, but that his most brilliant mind could easily conjure. A logical answer. It was a simple conclusion, contrarresting the symbols of the portal-barrier with the runes of their polar opposite.
But in the end, he did have to repeat himself, because the turtles here kept messing up the timing by precious few seconds, and were off in their drawing by a marginally huge distance. They were obviously not used to the complex rituals, it seemed their experience was limited to the simple ones, the ones were size and symbol accuracy was all that mattered.
“You’re messing with us, the design looks exactly as you described!” the box turtle exclaimed after yet another failure, gesturing at all his previous attempts. They looked the same for the ignorant eye, indeed.
“It’s not the design that’s wrong, it’s the timing,” the guard answered before Draxum could, a pair of eyes focused on his trapped form, another looking at the shortest turtle. “The second line needs to cross the first at exactly five seconds after the first was drawn. Then the third at eight seconds, the fourth at ten seconds…”
The box turtle groaned. “Why would you limit artistic liberty with time-math!?”
“You’re also off in the size of the thing,” the violent female finally stepped away from Draxum’s vicinity, gesturing at the incorrect drawing with her metallic stick. “It needs to be twenty feet long, at least.”
“This is twenty feet!”
“It’s nineteen with eighty, maybe—”
“Even more artistic limitations!” the box turtle complained.
“Can’t you come here and help, buddy?” the red slider gestured welcomingly at the half-owl. “I’ll keep an eye on the asshole here—”
“No,” the guard denied firmly. “I am here to ensure neither party is harmed.”
“So you don’t trust me!? Jail! Jail for the bad friend—!”
The softshell smacked the other’s head, gesturing with his hands. The more Draxum witnessed it in use, the more similarities he could distinguish to the official yokai sign language. He could understand the words ‘idiot’, ‘murder’ and ‘later’.
“Not on my shift, Otello,” the guard chuckled tiredly.
“STOP WHINING!” the violent human smacked the box turtle with the flat of her palm in a rough back-pat. “Look, let’s try it together this time, come on.”
Standing on opposite sides of the circle, both creatures coordinated almost flawlessly. The size was accurate.
The timing was still off by a single second on the last line.
“You gotta be shitting me,” the human who had labeled herself as ‘April O’neil’ rubbed her face tiredly. “A second? A single second, and the whole thing is useless!?”
“Sorry, I know these are a pain in the tail,” the guard nodded just as tiredly. “You’re also running out of time, by the way. The symbols on the barrier are gonna— aaaand there they go. Ugh.”
A chorus of tired groans echoed from the space around him, and Draxum inwardly relished at their incompetence.
The barrier’s symbols shifted at random every half an hour. The ritual they had been practicing was now useless, as the symbol’s polar opposites had changed, and Draxum mentally designed the new one in nothing but mere seconds.
Everyone but the rat stepped closer to him, to see the new design of the ritual circle.
“Complexity level? Size?” the guard asked, taking the tap off the marker and placing it close to Draxum’s face.
“Fifth level, and smaller. Five feet.” The complexity was one level more than the previous combination had required. They would be here all day at this rate.
The guard sighed as Draxum took the marker with his teeth, drawing the new ritual circle at the wall once he was wheeled close to it. His design would not work on this small of a scale, but he kept the timing intact for those that cared to notice.
“Five, Ten, Three, Eight, Twelve—” the guard read the timings out loud as the lines crossed over each other.
“I can open a portal to dump him in the prison,” the red slider pointed with his thumb at Draxum. “We have thirty minutes before we need a new design. You trust the other guards, right? So you could come back here and help us draw this crap instead of babysitting.”
“Not… not all guards can be trusted, when it comes to the basic rights of this particular prisoner,” the half-owl admitted slowly. “Sorry, this is my place, my job, and I can’t— this is all I can do for you.”
“I’m gonna make a ritual-drawing machine,” the spiny softshell muttered quietly. “This is utter bullshit.”
“That would take time though,” the human bit the nail of his thumb, frustrated. “But for this kind of precision, I guess we do need one…”
“We can do this,” the rat spoke for the first time since they had entered this enclosed space, finally jumping off the bars on the ceiling. “Let’s try one more time. Purple will draw with you.”
“Huh?”
“Me?”
The red slider and softshell muttered at the same time.
“I know you don’t consider this your specialty, but you have a sharp gaze and good pulse, Purple,” the rat opened a single eye to drive the seriousness of his message. “You can help them with this, I know you can.”
The more Draxum studied the rat, the more he noticed the mutant remained with both eyes closed for long periods of time. Compromised vision, both eyes affected. What a fascinating weakness.
“This is not… the best time to learn, dad,” the red slider spoke, glancing worriedly at the softshell. “Maybe Dee can focus on the machine drafts instead?”
Some of the tension accumulating on the other’s shoulders dissipated. So that was a burden the softshell hadn’t wanted? Interesting.
“You could also release me,” Draxum reminded, gaze focused back on the rat warrior, the one that would yield first, if he ever was successful. “We would have finished this in the first five minutes if you had let me use my arms.”
The rat gave him a considering look.
“Noct, is that….” the rat started to say, before a three-fingered hand pushed his head downward.
“No, no, no, that’s NOT an option!” the red slider interrupted, letting go of the rat’s head to cross his arms, forming an ‘X’ shape.
“Admittedly,” the guard, apparently called 'Noct', muttered almost apologetically. “The Baron’s movements are usually not restrained like this when he performs consultant work. And for a Fifth level ritual…. err. It may be worth considering?”
“There’s no way—”
“Children!” the old rat interrupted the box turtle. “Everyone with me, now!”
A chorus of disagreement followed, as they all spoke over each other. So disobedient, what kind of soldier was unable to follow simple orders? If they had been under Draxum’s guidance, they would certainly be better than this pathetic mess.
After a short moment of discussion they followed the rat to the room adjacent to this one, which left Draxum alone with Noct, the half-owl.
“Tired?” Draxum asked amiably.
“You have no idea,” the guard scoffed, professional mask falling away as he groaned like only the young could. “And you’re not making things easy for me, Great Baron. Can’t you just… be silently wise and help them? I can promise to hear you out once we’re back. Whatever is on your mind, I’ll listen to you so long you don’t say anything to them anymore.”
“My words are always worth listening to.”
The lower set of eyes gave him a slow blink.
“And I’ll listen to you. Just don’t— don’t share your verbal wisdom with them anymore,” Noct pleaded after that pause, one finger tapping at their pointed beak impatiently. “We’ve been here for so long already…”
“If they were not so—”
“Useless and untrained, yeah, yeah… I know, I know.”
The runes are crooked, I know, I know, Rhistel had whined once, Draxum could mildly remember the weight of his older brother playfully leaning against his smaller form. I’m not as good as you, not at this…
Noct groaned to the ceiling, and Draxum chuckled. He rather liked this guard. He reminded him of Rhistel, quite a bit…
(x)
(x)
(x)
They really had been left with no choice but to free Draxum from the restraints.
Splinter hated that fact as much as they did, if not more, but time was running out, and Noct was already doing them a favor as is, the last thing he wanted was to give them any trouble.
“The goat's access to the mystic is nullified for the day,” Cassandra growled, slicing a broom to pieces with nothing but her bare hands. Venting her frustration in the same way Red would. “We’re gonna need someone to power it up.”
“You can leave that to me,” Splinter nodded firmly. He may not be as in tune with their ninpo as his sons were, but he was still the one that had the largest amount of energy, on a level similar to Red’s. His ninpo was an all-or-nothing deal, the giant green spear would either demolish a huge portion of the city or not appear at all. It was the reason why Splinter couldn’t practice his ninpo.
Orange looked worriedly at him. “Dad, I don’t think that’s—”
“No, he— he’s right,” Blue sighed, looking conflicted, like he didn’t want to agree, even though he understood. “Dee, you gotta— the machine blows up a bit after every attempt, if we’re successful…”
“Remain close to fix it immediately with my ninpo.”
“Exactly, so you stay at Mikey’s right side, close to it.” Blue nodded. “Mikey, you’re the one that connects to Raph’s ninpo more easily, once the barrier is lifted—”
“Throw the chains before the barrier can even try to come back up!” Orange nodded with a fierce grin.
“Yeap! Dee and I will be close to you, the mystic cracks— nobody needs another round of those,” Blue laughed humorlessly. “Dad— you can hang back, power up the thing.”
“Not alone he doesn't,” April scolded, making a gesture for the ex-foot soldier to step closer to them again.
“Yeah, I’ll stand close by too. With some luck I’ll be able to actually punch off a couple of goat teeth,” she lifted her hockey stick with a menacing grin. “That guard’s gotta slip at some point.”
The comment lightened the mood, as they took a short moment to discuss and settle their respective positions before going back to the two yokai.
The restraints came off.
The goat’s movements were not his own, as the hoofs mimicked the clawed steps of the owl with perfect accuracy. They both knelt down at the same time. The ritual circle was now required to be smaller, so thankfully they didn’t need to move from their kneeling position, and the guard simply released their hold from the prisoner’s body, from the waist up only.
Splinter and those meant to power up the portal positioned themselves at the opposite side, as far away from Draxum’s reach as they could afford to be. Surprisingly enough the goat remained silent, so focused on his task that the rest of the world seemed to have disappeared from his perception.
Splinter could feel the moment the ritual was completed, because it immediately started to zap at his mystic energy. Human hands rested upon his shoulders, as the weight of Splinter’s load was distributed with April and Cassandra.
Not evenly, of course. It was still Splinter’s duty as the adult to shoulder the worst of it, but at least this way he would not be left completely drained.
Orange stepped close to the glowing pink portal, the chains of his ninpo already coating his arms as he pushed at the pink shield with all his might. The spots where his digits touched the pink energy were leaving golden imprints.
Purple and Blue were supporting the youngest’s shell, glowing marks growing across their arms and disappearing upon their shoulders as the strain was evenly distributed among the three of them.
The pink portal started to crackle with bolts of electricity — purple, orange, blue — the colors came up and about seemingly at random.
The moment the barrier went down was obvious, as the pink portal turned into a rich, golden color. A bright gold, the kind that characterized Orange’s ninpo, the same that had been shining in the marks that had injured their arms.
“I can feel Raph, he’s right at the other side!” Orange laughed with glee, chains extending behind him to wrap around a concrete column, the other end wrapping around his own waist. “I’ll go get him, pull at the chain if I don’t come back soon!”
Orange and Red were physically the strongest. If someone was able to carry Red, in whatever condition he might be in, that was his youngest.
“Careful out there, Mike!” Blue nodded in agreement, as both twins grasped at the glowing chain tightly.
Orange jumped into the portal.
One minute passed, then two, then five.
Pulling at the chain did nothing.
“Guys,” April muttered worriedly, starting to pant tiredly. Splinter was also starting to feel ill.
“I’ll project a rocket and take us all back,” Purple said firmly, strapping his bo staff to his shell so he could hold the chain with both hands, and carefully stepped into the portal.
“Hurry up, Dee,” Blue instructed simply, still trying to pull at Orange’s chain. It didn’t even rattle.
One minute passed. Then two.
“Shit,” Blue cursed, looking worriedly at the glowing portal, the chains, then back at Splinter, whose fur was now all gross with sweat.
He didn’t grunt in pain, nor pant with exhaustion, he knew better than to showcase just how draining this was—
“GO ALREADY!” Cassandra screamed, kicking Splinter like a soccer player might a ball, which caught him so off guard he actually screamed before colliding head-first against Blue’s plastron.
To his credit, his son didn’t fall, he just stumbled backward. Splinter groaned and looked behind him and back to the ritual—
Both humans were now powering up the symbols, with visible difficulty.
Blue looked torn, concerned. “But April—”
“I’m a Hamato too, I can do this!” She exclaimed defiantly. “Go bring my dumb brothers back, quickly!”
“You stay with April, I’ll teleport us back here,” Blue ordered at Splinter, as he strapped both katanas to their holders and stepped into the portal—
With Splinter right beside him, because the idea of losing all of his sons to whatever the heck was happening on the other side was unbearable.
Splinter grabbed Blue by the forearm. “No, you stay with April, I will—”
“Dad, no, you can’t even teleport—”
“The Hamato clan.” Draxum spoke for the first time since kneeling down. “You— YOU!”
Splinter couldn’t focus on the goat yokai, or the way his voice dripped with killing intent. He couldn’t focus on the tired humans, the way Cassandra hurriedly grabbed April by the armpits and got her away from Draxum’s reach. He couldn’t focus on the cursing guard, whose shadows were starting to consume the room in its entirety, one clawed foot remaining inside the ritual circle to power it up.
No, Splinter turned away from it all without truly registering any of it. He needed to cross this portal, he would not be left out again, he would not remain in the lair sitting around uselessly while his sons risked their lives in a place where he couldn’t follow, where their wellbeing would be unknown.
And thus, discussing and pushing at each other as they might have been, father and son crossed the golden portal at the same time.
Notes:
FANART: From last chapter, the purple murdery genuises <3 and for TEB Oneshot,
Splinter and Puffs fluff!!And fanart for Ch 14, Savage and Splinter's fight! and this cute
Raph crying 'cause a cute baby exists nearby LMAOAUTHOR NOTE:
Oh, oh, I so love to write my precious potato-couch ratdad <3 his interactions with the family are everything to me QuQCassandra represents me, seriously, the NEED to smack Draxum’s face with a hockey stick! Who knows, maybe after Splinter stepped away she finally got her chance to hit Draxum. Until otherwise proven, you’re free to imagine whatever ksksks
Splinter’s nickname for Puffs is ‘Chief’, if you wanna know the story behind that, you can read Ch 3 of the TEB One-shot series HERE
And the guard's name is Noctŭīnus, shortened to "Noct" because that's difficult to pronounce (and write lmao). Special thanks to Chloe for the name suggestion! And to Therma, Li & Ame, 'cause wilding about this chapter was pretty fun HAHA!
Thank you for reading up to this point, and thank you for your time if you interact with this fic in any shape or form!! I really love, love, love all of it >w<
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 30: Plural
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Plural
(3.9K words)
Subject One is running.
He is running and roaring, as sharp, pure fear travels through his body. He is starting to hyperventilate, heart beating fast against his ribcage, senses growing sharper as he goes deeper into a survival, hypervigilant state.
No, Savage, fuck off, I can’t—
Savage whines and roars in protest when One tries to push him back, and fuck he needs Mind Raph, they are a mess, this is a mess, where the heck is Raph!?
Raph! Raph, can you calm down Savage!?
He can’t hear Raph, but he does hear a toddler crying somewhere in the back of his head. Shit, shit, Raph age-regressed, and Mind Raph is not there to comfort, and One doesn’t know how to, he doesn’t know how to calm them down, shit, shit—
The female redhead clings to the edge of their shell even harder, as the machinery around them continues to float, flying like large projectiles thrown in random directions.
“Who are you!?” She screams, panicking as something blows up nearby.
They roar and charge forward blindly. They are afraid, so afraid, out of control, there is no one in control.
Who are they? Who? Subject One tries to link the present battlefield to previous experiences, trying to reassure himself and Savage by thinking of times when he was in control, when everything turned out just fine, when his strategy worked—
Anata wa Hitori Ja Nai.
Karai is dead. Karai is dead and Savage pushes forward all the emotions One had pushed away at the time of her passing. Distress, sorrow, fear, rage, self-hate, guilt, love, sadness, grief; they all crash onto him like a tsunami, overwhelming One’s senses and drowning out all thoughts, as battle strategy is replaced by a useless chant of: our fault, our fault.
This is too much, too much, but they have no one to turn to for help now. Subject One and Savage are the ones called to deal with shit, and right now they are both and none at the same time.
Subject One can’t think clearly with Savage so close, feeling so many things so strongly, and Savage can’t calm down without a comforting presence shielding him from the reality of things, not without Mind Raph here to filter out what their body is experiencing—
Something large and rock-like hit them.
They raise their arms instinctively, so it damages the limbs instead of their face, but the object is too large. The sharp edges dig into their arms, hits them at their torso, sends them flying until they’re crashing shell-first against a wall, even if it doesn’t feel like a wall, but something else.
Sharper, the impact is concentrated in a single spot as they bounce back, falling hard on their plastron as if the wall had attacked them too.
The humanoid screams somewhere nearby, floating for a second before she falls back on their shell, and the rush of pain coming from their back— is it broken? It feels like a shell-fracture, it burns — and the sensation of the sting of a stabbing wound makes One push away Savage as the urgency of the situation escalates even further.
“Subject One!?”
They aren’t fit to protect themselves right now, much less protect someone else. He shouldn’t have brought her here, this was a mistake. He had thought her stronger, but she is just a child, just a scared child, why did he drag a child to the battlefield!?
“Escape! We can’t!” It hurts to admit it, but they can’t— or he can’t? Damn it, damn it, who is he… who is he?
Thin arms hug their head, a foreign presence pushing soothing waves forward, and the worst of emotions dull down somewhat. It makes Savage step back, it makes One be able to front for a bit, slightly more in control.
“Keep doing that,” One says, an order and a plea at the same time, as his mind finally clears up, as he’s finally able to process his surroundings, process the situation at hand.
He doesn’t remember how he got here. He doesn’t remember how they got into this mess.
His arms are bleeding, healing slowed down because Raph hasn’t been eating properly, but One doesn’t have the time to recriminate or lament anything right now, so he catalogs it as just another fact, another thing he needs to work with.
The pain of his limbs is nothing compared to the burn that comes from his cracked shell, so he grits his teeth and forces his arms to move, to rearrange the humanoid so she’s resting her weight on the undamaged side of his spikes. The sting came from the bottom of his shell, close to the tail. Did she even notice the injury? Probably not. Hopefully it was as small as that supposition implied.
The Krang are shooting their technological weapons, a mix of lasers and some sort of glowing web-like trap that reminds him too much of the spider yokai. The enemy’s objective is either to kill, injure them, or catch them.
The platform at the center of the room, with three big canon-shaped things pointing to the middle of it, has a portal open. It’s shaped like a triangle, glowing pink, Subject One can’t see what’s on the other side. The air around the portal machine glows with a purple dome everytime a stray laser ray hits it, so it takes no damage.
A force shield is protecting it, the same energy that is covering the walls and windows. Is that energy the reason he had a broken shell? In any case, it is the reason the wall remained undamaged, at least. One won’t be able to break through it easily, no discernable escape route.
There is a creature made of rock with fissures that glow red, standing nearby the protected portal. It’s a single giant, a sturdy, strong enemy. It reminds him of the huge creatures made of vines and earth that Draxum could create and command.
The golem doesn’t have enough space to move around freely and is missing one arm, as lava flows out of it instead of blood. A recent injury. High pain resistance or unable to feel at all, because One is certain this golem was the one that just hit them. Hard enough to get his shell fractured upon impact— or was that due to coming in contact with the force shield covering the wall?
The area stings like a stab wound, sharp, it must have pierced somewhere in between the scutes. He doesn’t feel hot blood ticking downward, however. The wall, the energy coating it, were they stabbed with the equivalent of a knife made of pure energy? Had the wound been cauterized the instant it was made? Whatever the case, if it's not killing him then it can be ignored for now, there's one thing that is more revelant.
He can't feel his connection to his family.
They can’t access their ninpo any longer, the red energy is trapped, somehow, somewhere inside. Subject One focuses on it, tries to pry open the cage, but he can’t get it out easily. What happened, why is it caged!?
When he ponders on it Savage pushes forward a memory in response, of the huge machine hanging on the ceiling, firing at them? Things turning blurry, the distant roar of fear and rage as Savage ran on pure instinct, away from it.
Fuck, Savage fronted. When, why!? Stupid child, stupid mess!
Savage whines at the back of his mind, and One inwardly growls at him and shoves him harshly backwards. Savage whimpers, the little alter whimpers, because he is just a scared child. Nothing but a scared child, in the same way Raph is nothing but a scared child right now and fuck, Mind Raph is not here, he doesn't have any other adult here to help.
One sent a rushed, inner apology and tried to send a brief message: that this was his battlefield, that Savage wasn’t needed at the front, that he could trust One to handle it. He didn’t need his desperate , rash influence, too many instincts and not enough strategy. Too desperate,too afraid.
Waves of fear and guilt crash forward — scared at the situation, scared of Draxum, scared of Subject One? He tried not to show that last thought, had he failed? — only to be pushed back by the foreign soothing presence emanating from the humanoid.
He huffs through his nose harshly, as emotions crash upon his psyche with the same frequency in which a coast is hit with ocean waves. It makes it hard to concentrate, Subject One can’t afford fear, he can’t afford feelings and emotions and distractions, he can’t afford to acknowledge the pain of his arms and the burning agony that concentrates in a small part of his shell, he needs to drag them out of the mess.
He needs to survive. The most important thing is survival. He will apologize to Savage later.
“Tell me what is important,” One orders to his humanoid ally, as he deals with the nearest Krang and grabs their weapon to use as his own, taking cover behind one of the largest machines in this place, so reminiscent to how Draxum's lab once looked like.
He needs to know what happened here, he needs intel. He needs to take them out of here, he refuses to let this humanoid child die because of his bad decisions.
“My dad’s not in this facility,” April says, pressing her cheek on the back of his head, arms moving to hug his neck as One attacks with his newly acquired weapon. “There’s too many voices, but I could get that much. They didn’t like it, when you refused to hand me over, when you— EEAKK!”
One leapt forward as the creature made of rock tried to stomp on them. The machine that had served as shield was crushed like a soda can, floor cracking under the weight — the floor didn’t have a force shield — and the Krang screeched and immediately complained to the creature for damaging their facilities.
One could use that. If he couldn’t deal with this enemy directly, then he would use it as a weapon against the Krang. If he could use that golem to open a door, crack the floor, or remove the energy field that was protecting the walls… protecting the portal…
“How did it lose that arm?” The flow of lava-blood has already stopped, so he adds ‘quick regeneration’ to his list of observations of the giant enemy.
“You tore it apart with the red energy,” April says hurriedly, hiding her face in the space between neck and shoulder. “B-before you stopped being you.”
Damn it Savage, damn it. He couldn’t remember— they had been a they, probably. Not one or the other, had it been the two of them only… the three of them? What made Raph age-regress? Fuck Mind Raph for not being here, damn him, Subject One had never had to deal with their system during a crisis before. They had a caretaker and gatekeeper for a damn reason! One couldn’t comfort, he tried but he couldn’t do it, he never learned how to—
The golem is moving slowly, obviously trying to be more careful of the remaining machines. The aliens flying in metallic contraptions are bothersome but easy to take down; a single shot is enough to send them crashing to the ground.
One discards the gun he was using — out of energy already — and grabs a larger one to keep firing. The shots he carefully ‘missed’ are absorbed by the energy field of the walls. This weapon isn’t strong enough to make an opening, it’s not enough to escape from the room.
“What does that portal do?” He needs to retreat, he needs medical attention, he needs to ensure they survive another day. Was a portal still one of his options…?
“They were trying to get you to pass through it, but you refused—”
Refused… yes, yes, he could somewhat remember that. He had wanted to pass the projection of his head first, ensure the portal was safe and taking him where he needed to go. He had planned to take this version of April O’neil with him if he needed to, trusting Two to be able to return her later…
But something had happened. His memory is blurry, why is it blurry?
“What happened then?” He is panting now, not due to lack of stamina but as a way to deal with the waves of pain emanating from his shell with every step he takes. He can’t stop moving, he is an easy target if he stops.
Too many enemies, long-ranged attacks, he has no ninpo to shield them. The aliens are careful with their attacks whenever he hides behind their machinery, since they don't want to damage them. The huge golem tries to trap him in a huge palm everytime he stops to rest behind a machine however, so the breaks are short lived.
If he damages the machines… would the room blow up? Would the shields go down? They would either die or escape, too risky without his ninpo to shield them, what other options are there—
“They screeched and started to attack the moment your uh, your ninpo appeared. They are… very scared of it. Of you. Their screech… triggered a bad memory, I think? You weren’t you, not really, not after that.”
He had heard their screech before. It is alien, very unlike anything in their past, why would that trigger them?
“Bring the turtle to the place you call portal! Retrieve April O’neil!” The image of a large Krang head orders. It flickers on and off at odd intervals, the huge screen is already damaged.
That must be Kraang Prime, because none of the other aliens hesitate to follow its order. The huge machine placed at the center of the room hums loudly as it charges, the three huge canon-like structures lightning up with purple energy, as the existing portal… expands into a bigger door, triangle shape shifting to one more oval.
The giant golem attacks the space beside One, obviously trying to make him run in the direction of the glowing pink gate.
They are trying to get him to the portal instead of killing him? Why? And his cracked shell… they don’t care for the state in which he is sent through it, just that he passes through.
He can’t use that portal then. Are the Krang intending to send him to their alien dimension of origin…? He would be stuck in a new prison cell, this time without the decorations of drawings to adorn the wall. A new dimension to escape from, starting from scratch, and the child riding on his back may not live to tell the tale, she would die, she would die because One brought her here.
No, unacceptable, making the floor collapse is his best option. He just needs to get them away from here, and then—
April screamed as Subject One fell.
Fuck, fuck, one of the web-like glowing things got his legs. He stumbles, abandoning his stolen weapon so he can use both hands to push himself forward, injured arms complaining under the weight while he kicks the glowing contraption away from his rear legs, managing to keep moving, moving, moving, he can’t afford to stop!
“Can you lift that huge creature?” he pants as soon as he recovers his momentum, running on fours and away from the golem.
He immediately regrets it. Moving on fours is putting pressure on the shell fracture, pain flaring up anew as the original crack expands into a larger area.
He grits his teeth and stops breathing, to avoid crying out in pain.
"Put your fists up and fight them back, don't show weakness when they attack! Only the strongest survive !"
Subject One is strong enough to survive, he is going to survive, they are going to survive—
But shit, fuck, he needs to run on two legs, he is going to worsen the injury of his shell if he uses four limbs.
”If we make the floor—” A growl as he kills a small Krang that got much too close to them, standing like a bipedal once more.
He pants, trying to ignore the pulsing wound as he grabs the discarded gun, but it was smaller than his last one, harder to use. “Make the floor collapse—”
“I can’t— I can’t make things float, I’m trying to keep the— uh, the crying and roaring voice away from you. It’s very mad, very scared… it— it cries so much? Oh, oh crap, One is that a child!?”
Damn it Savage, damn it, this really isn’t the best place to have a breakdown. April isn’t Mind Raph, she doesn’t know how to comfort him, and One can’t do it either.
They need to get out of here. If April can’t use telekinesis, if collapsing the floor isn’t an option, then perhaps the ceiling would work?
“Hold tight,” One warns, running as he shoots laser beams towards the ceiling.
But it’s also protected by the force shield. Fucking— fine , only the floor is an option then.
He will have to make the golem fall without help. Based on the shape of their body… the center of gravity… yes. He can propel himself up with the low hanging cables, tackle the giant, make it lose its balance.
“Hold on tight,” he repeats as he turns directions, this time running towards the giant enemy.
“We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die!” April screams as she accidentally slips down his shell at the sudden change in direction, hands clinging to his spikes, feet scrambling for purchase.
She kicks hard at the injured area, and One can acutely feel as the weakened scutes are crushed under her weight.
Pain shot through his shell, flaring up with an intensity that made his vision blind over with pain. He can’t help but growl and whimper as the acute, sharp feeling travels all across the area, hot fluid flowing down as it bleeds freely.
"Only the weak cry, so you will not."
He stops breathing, because that is the only way to stop himself from crying out in pain. His limbs twitch and spasm as he forces them to keep moving, he needs to keep moving—
Another glowing fishnet trap flies towards them, and One can’t evade it, he can’t dodge. His body doesn’t respond like he wants it to, and April screams as they both fall, trapped under it.
He can’t move anymore.
His body can’t move, but he needs to move. A clone… he needs a clone, his ninpo, they can still escape, still survive. If a clone can carry them away, keep them moving, crash the floor to escape—
He pants and growls as he focuses on his caged ninpo, forcefully pries it open. A red spark travels over his scales, muscles spasming with effort as he tenses up and tries to free it. He is close—
The machine hanging from the ceiling screeches.
It’s an inhuman screech, a high-pitched wail, the echo of it makes every single cell in his body tremble in fear as his ninpo is stripped away from him once more, gone before he could even recover it.
He has stopped breathing once more, he is too afraid to even breathe.
Subject One can’t afford fear, he can’t afford feelings and emotions and distractions, not right now, not during the battlefield.
He needs to survive. The most important thing is survival.
He shoves the raw fear onto Savage, who roars and whimpers and cries at the back of his mind, as the influx of emotion hits him fully. One sent an inner apology, usually Mind Raph is the one to deal with One’s strikes of strong emotion, the one to help him regulate, but the gatekeeper and caretaker isn’t here, and he doesn’t have many options, Raph is too far away and One can’t deal with fear right now, he doesn’t have the time, he needs to try again—
April is crying and hiding in the crook of his neck, like he had accidentally shoved the fear onto her too, and the soothing wall that was keeping Savage under control dissipated.
They roar an empty threat, unable to move, unable to escape. They are afraid, so afraid, out of control, there is no one in control, everything hurts, why are they always hurting? They are so tired of hurting.
Who are they? Who?
Are they going to survive? Alone, alone, forever alone, they are going to die alone, they are going to die, no brothers, no dad, where is their family? They have failed their family, their tots, their gram-gram, they all are gonna die, who will protect them? No more red shield, no more.
They are growling and crying at the same time. Too weak to survive, too weak to protect, too weak to go back home, back to their family.
He is sorry, he is so sorry, he doesn’t know who he is but he’s sorry. He did something wrong, he is sure, he can’t remember what he did but he knows it was wrong.
A child is crying on top of them, crying very hard, very afraid, so they try to twist, try to grab her and hide her underneath them. They are going to die, but they will die first, maybe the child will be able to escape once they die.
Maybe they can’t escape, but the child can. New objective acquired.
Their inner eyelids close as they grow still, hugging the crying child close to their plastron with ouchie-ouch arms, rear legs tensing in preparation to volt. The portal, no option but to use it, no other escape route. Too ouchie, too tired to move much. No red shield.
“Portal. Run,” they whisper softly, and the child nods, still sobbing quietly as she tries to calm down.
They open their jaws in preparation to bite the nearest enemy. They will tear the aliens to pieces, as many of them as they need to, anyone that stands in the way. The pink aliens must know, because they don’t get too close, they wave a hand and call for the rock-big-giant to come instead, the pium-pium pointing at them.
They can survive the pium-piums, but the child won’t. They will have to cover her retreat, for as long as they can, even if their shell is on fire, burning—
The portal in the middle glows, like it’s being overcharged from the inside out, as sparks of purple, blue, and orange zip-zap-zip out of it. The pink-enemy-aliens screech with fear as they scramble like ants. Their cries are very different from the one that took their red-safe-shield away, so they are not scared.
They hold the child closer to them, body still tense as they evaluate this new development. The shell is so ouchie. The arms too, but the shell is more ouchie than the arms, but they should concentrate on the matter at hand, concentrate Savage, work with me.
Savage trusts that voice. The adult is scary and kind and rough and sharp and soft and he means well.
I want to live. Savage pleads often, everytime he needs to front, and when things get scary, too scary, too much and too difficult, One takes his hand and squeezes reassuringly, and then Mind Raph guides him back.
One means well. He fights for them, so he trusts him. They are a them, they are very similar even when they are opposites.
Savage exists to feel nothing but fear. One exists to never be afraid. Savage remembers all the feelings, while One remembers all else. One was older than their body, and Savage much, much younger. Two sides of the same coin, Mind Raph would say.
The rock-big-giant tries to destroy the machine the pink-enemy-aliens are urgently pointing at.
Their effort is fruitless in the end, as the source of light breaches the portal, and the pink light turns into brilliant gold.
Notes:
FANART
TEB x-overs: The Rise!fam with GhostTEB fanart: Raph carrying the 12 fam! I love how in-character they are aksdjajkds and Clifford Raph and sleepy Dee! Brains and Brawn my beloved! <3 and God, this could be a poster, look at the System representation + smol kid Raph QuQ I love it so much!!!
AUTHOR NOTE:
Did you notice anything different in the writing of this chapter? Hmm? No? This is a try at present tense vs the past tense I tend to use! It feels quite different… I think I like it, although it’s quite harder for me to write 😂 so I won't use it in any other chapter. Experimenting with it was fun though~
I had originally drafted up an ending where the 12 fam was the one to come to the rescue, instead of the rise fam crossing. You can read the scrapped draft in this this Tumblr post if you so wish <3 and the reason why it was deleted.
Ahhhh Savvy my baby, he’s stuck in the most painful part of their lives, please see this Tumblr post about the burden of “not-remembering”. Contrary to popular belief, forgetting the bad is not…. the best path when it comes to healing.
Welp, hope you’ve enjoyed getting your heartstrings pulled! On Oct 26th we have the last chapter of TEB Part One! WOHOOO!
See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 31: Family Reunion
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Family Reunion
(4.9K words)
The first thing they noticed was their ninpo breaking free from its cage, as the red energy growed larger, back to normal, their connection— their family, their family, their FAMILY! CLOSEBY!
My brothers!? Raph was suddenly close to the front, no longer holding the trapped, previously-small red energy with his child-sized palms. He had been afraid of it dissipating completely, guarding it fiercely in his hands, but now that it was free and flowing he came back as an adult, hope and incredulity prominent in his presence.
Of course you come back now, One scoffed without any real bite, welcoming him into the squished space at the front of their awareness. Always back after the worst has been dealt with, aren’t you?
Their limbs moved, a bit easier now that their ninpo had returned, red energy coating their scales as their whole body grew, just enough for the glowing fishnet to break under the pressure. Their real body didn’t let go of the human child, even as the giant projection moved differently.
“Who…?” April muttered quietly. “Who are you?”
Who were they? Everyone. No one. A bit of all and none.
The machine hanging from the ceiling hummed in preparation to screech, but since One now knew about its existence he was already moving to attack it, the red projection of their arm enlarging until it was crushed within their giant palm.
One did a quick check, but there was no other machine that looked even remotely similar to that one. Then his new objective is—
The portal, his brothers are going to come from the portal! Raph will finally see them again—
Not scary anymore? Still ouchie, but not scary. Home. Going back home—
They were a mess, this was a mess, too many at the front, they all had a semblance of control and yet none at all. Their head hurts, the familiar migraine that usually accompanied them on their bad days, and they knew they couldn’t stay like this, but Mind Raph… without Mind Raph, it was too difficult.
I can do this, I can, Raph urged them to let go of the wheel, and One scoffed while Savage did the equivalent of growling and clawing deeper into the front of their awareness.
I want to see them too, One spoke for the both of them, refusing to move.
Protectors and Trauma Holders were only ever wanted in dire situations, weren’t they? Raph wanted nothing to do with them otherwise; but those were their brothers too, they had a right to see them too.
Raph was not having it however, and that desire, that strong conviction to push them aside, manifested as it had only once in the past.
A strong push, as Raph did the equivalent of grabbing them by the shell and throwing them out of their headspace via ninpo clones.
It was a dangerous ordeal, mental conditions mixed up with mystics rarely if ever were predictable. They weren’t meant to be separated like this, they risked leaving pieces of themselves behind whenever they were pushed out in this manner, but whether Raph cared or not was unclear. He may not even know the risks, he was dumb and impulsive like that.
Savage glowed red for a second as his body materialized, before regaining their usual color, physically indistinguishable from the original body. One could feel his own new body doing the same.
The little alter went on fours and roared a war cry, growing and growing until he became larger than the golem that had so injured them. The child charged towards the giant rock creature, tackling it before it could crush the portal generator.
One was relieved at the respite from the pain, only their original body could perceive the damage, so even though they all sported the same injuries, his movement was unpaired.
Subject One did what he did best, which was to fight anything that tried to close down the golden portal — any Krang that frantically tried to get close to the machines — or attempted to hurt their original self. Raph couldn’t manifest his red shield, that was the price to pay for investing their energy in clones.
Raph couldn’t move either, their body was too injured, too exhausted to do anything but stand in place with April standing close to his hip. The humanoid child was no longer crying, at least.
The golden portal flickered in the middle of the room, like water that had been perturbed by a falling pebble.
At last, a turtle passed through.
The first to step into the midst of the battlefield was Four.
“MIKEY!” Raph squealed with a tearful laugh, opening his arms wide in welcome.
“RAPH!” Four squealed and jumped, agile and fast as he crossed the battlefield like he was not even registering the firing blasts and screeching aliens, the sounds of the golem being torn apart as Savage grabbed its limbs and pulled, the mystic-made body completely unfazed by the flowing rivers of lava.
Subject One hummed pleasantly as he grew his arms larger, covering in protective red the path between the portal and Raph, large fingers carefully supporting the injured shell so Raph could remain standing without as much difficulty.
Their original body couldn’t use the red shield, but the clones sometimes still could. It all depended on how many of them were out there, how dispersed their ninpo energy was.
Raph was now holding Four in one arm, smiling and crying. Four chirped happily and glowed a bright gold light, revealing the chains wrapped around his waist and connecting him to the open portal.
Two was the next one to cross, just a few seconds after Four and Raph reunited. He did so slowly, hands gripping tight at the chains as he carefully stepped into this dimension.
The moment both feet were on the ground, the instant the softshell took note of the crying turtles, he took off like a rocket in the direction of his brothers.
Quite literally, the battle shell grew rockets, as the softshell tackled Raph into a tight hug. Subject One was relieved to be supporting Raph’s shell, because that would have aggravated the injury otherwise.
As it was, Raph just ‘ouphed’ and laughed loudly, falling on his knees so he could hug them closer without having to support their weight, tail curling around April as she stood closeby. The tip wagged happily, moving the tail from the base was probably painful.
April looked happy and relieved, crying and smiling just like they all did. Emotions were contagious, much more so for a mind reader.
Surprisingly, Three and Splinter crossed exactly at the same time, a few seconds after Two came through. They were pushing at each other, saying something about how April shouldn’t be left alone, that one of them needed to go back and stay.
The discussion was short-lived as Raph churred in calling, and Three tossed a katana and teleported right over. Splinter ran and reached them in the blink of an eye.
All their little brothers were finally in Raph’s arms, as he hugged them close and rubbed his chin and cheek over their heads, churring up a storm. Splinter was sitting on a broad shoulder, rubbing the top of Raph’s head and muttering soft things.
Subject One felt warm. They were complete, or as close to complete as they could be without their April in the picture. There was a tiny thread still connecting their ninpo to the portal, as Raph’s sister remained on the opposite side.
Subject One could see Savage start to dissipate in a show of red pixels. The child was wagging his tail happily, the arm of the destroyed golem held in his mouth like a puppy with a new bone toy. He looked proud of himself, and One made a mental note to not only apologize to him, but also praise him to an extent.
Savage needed a scolding too, but Mind Raph was better at handling that. One was too much like Draxum, too harsh, he ruined it most of the time…
His protective projection fell as his body started to dissipate without his input, without his control. He was not in control, Raph was, and right now their original body was demanding for the clones to fuse back.
One didn’t have a chance to speak with his brothers, but seeing them safe and happy was enough for now.
Maybe, by the time he regained awareness once more, he would be able to see them all together in the warmth of the home he had missed so much.
(x)
(x)
(x)
Wow, this place sure is a mess! What the heck did you guys even do here!?
Raph cried and laughed even more vigorously. He had missed Mind Raph so, so much!
He mildly took note of the fact that Mind Raph was calling back Savage and Puffs, probably to start putting things back together in their proper order within their psyche. A small part of Raph wondered if that was a good idea, considering those two were occupied with important things, but a much larger part of him remained joyful as he hugged his family closer to him. He was missing April and Cassey but he would see them soon enough too, his brothers were with him, and they all were ok, and his pops was ok, so April and Cassey surely were ok too.
His family smelt weird, they were missing the strong scent of a snapping turtle, and it was odd and wrong on a fundamental level, so he rubbed his face against their heads and shoulders, whatever happened to be closer.
They were his family, he always hugged them and carried them around, and instinctively he knew that his scent should be on them so the enemy would know to stay away from them, and so his bale would know they were always loved and protected.
Home, always at home, no matter the place, so long they all were together.
“The ‘Raph loves you’ stink!” Mikey exclaimed with a teary laugh, nuzzling back at Raph’s cheek with happy chirps.
“Raphie, bro, lovely to see you, don’t get lost ever again. There’s only so much I can do to keep Donnie contained, you know the only reason he hasn’t gone rogue and taken over the world is ‘cause you’d be tsk-tsking disappointedly at him,” Leo babbled, laughing weakly while hanging from Raph’s neck in the most uncomfortable way possible. “Without you the world is doo-doo-doomed! ”
Raph snorted. He wanted to bend down to shove his brother playfully, but the pain resonating from the lower part of his shell was still pulsing in a way that was getting harder and harder to ignore.
“Sarcastic laugh, very funny, Nardo,” Donnie sighed with annoyed, fond relief, pressing his ridiculously cold snout against Raph’s shoulder. His nose had always felt cold, ever since his tots years.
Still, the familiar gesture made Raph churr happily. There was nothing worse than waking up via nose-icicle, they all complained about it in the turtle piles, and Raph had missed those, he had missed his brothers, his pops, his family, his everything—
The sound of readying guns resonated from around them, and Donnie hissed an impatient “fuck off”, a single hand gesturing at the aliens around them.
A purple dome enclosed them protectively.
The purple projection of his ninpo also recreated a terrifying large part of the country’s most destructive weaponry.
“Oh Red, my little Red,” his pops sobbed a laugh, hugging Raph’s head tightly.
Raph turned to rub his face against the clothed chest, shoulders relaxing and churr growing even louder. No matter how old or how big he got, a hug from his pops always made him feel a bit smaller, and a bit safer. This time was no exception.
Besides, if he didn’t look then he wouldn’t have to acknowledge the screeching aliens, the sound of lasers and canons and who knows what else being fired all around them. The innocent and not-suspicious-at-all booming sound of explosions. He had missed his brothers so much he could turn a blind eye to a few murdery sounds; what’s a bit of war crime? as Dee liked to say.
“Deeeeeee,” Leo groaned, headbutting Raph’s chest exasperatedly. “Did you seriously just destroy the portal that led back home, you moron.”
Raph turned slightly to peek at the very, very destroyed space that not two seconds ago used to be a lab. Mikey wheezed an entertained laugh, crawling up to drop like an old rug across Raph’s shoulders.
The portal was pulverized, but that was a problem for future Raph. Present Raph just wanted his family close.
“...I can make another portal,” Dee muttered under his breath, in the tone that denoted he was sorry but was not going to say that outloud, blinking up at the ceiling somewhat unseeingly.
Actually, Donnie looked exhausted, more than Raph had ever seen before.
“Donnie, have you slept at all lately?” Raph asked worriedly, even though he already knew the answer.
Donnie was the one to groan this time, pointing a thumb in Leo’s direction even as he curled on himself, cheek pressed against Raph’s plastron, at the place where the churr was louder.
“He was in a coma for days.”
Raph spluttered, losing track of whatever worried reprimand he had been about to give, turning to face Leo incredulously. His brother’s smile was frozen in the ‘oh shit,’ expression, which meant it was true, what the shell!?
“Leo, you—”
“Mikey fried his own arms with his ninpo!”
“He WHAT.”
“You snitch!” Mikey gasped offendedly and blew a raspberry at Leo.
“Mikey, what does that mea—”
“Red, is that— your shell is bleeding!” pops exclaimed, hurriedly hopping off his shoulder.
“Raph’s what!?”
Relieved joy quickly turned into a sea of rushed questions and concerns, as they all spoke over each other at the same time. Thanks to a lifetime of practice, they still managed to understand each other perfectly.
Unfairly, Raph lost the discussion.
“Look, I’m no longer in coma, Mikey’s arms are fine now, you’re still bleeding. So lay down and let me look at it,” Leo instructed with his medic, no-nonsense attitude, so Raph grumpily laid down to let his brother examine the injury.
Pops guided Raph’s chin to his lap, humming a calming tune while patting his head comfortingly. It immediately made the pain a lot more bearable.
“What the heck even happened?” Donnie hissed at Leo’s side, always the second-in-command when it came to treating injuries. The sound of metallic arms extending meant that, whatever they needed to do, Donnie didn’t want to touch it.
“I don’t… remember much,” Raph admitted softly.
“I do,” April— this world’s April, spoke for the first time. Her eyes were red and puffy and she seemed tired and she was still wearing that weird helmet and bracelets and—
And Puffs had lied to her, hadn’t he?
I did no such thing.
Puffs rushing to do things had put them all in danger, they had almost died, April could have died.
The older alter didn’t reply to that, but Savage answered with a defensive growl. Before Raph could say anything else though, Mind Raph pipped in with a soft: Everybody calm down, now is not the time. Let me catch up on what I’ve missed and then we talk about things, yes?
Pain brought Raph back to the real world before he could even respond. He gritted his teeth, trying not to squirm or lash out at his brothers with his tail, as the crushed scutes were carefully examined.
“Who are you?” Mikey asked curiously at the redhead, smaller hands still holding Raph’s own firmly, like one may when visiting a hospitalized loved one.
April rubbed her arm sheepishly. “April O’neil. The one from here, I mean— you guys have your own April, right? It’s kinda nice, to know we always meet, always get to be friends…”
“Family!” Mikey corrected cheerfully. “We’re always family.”
“Pff, a redhead? But you’re our age, so I guess that’s more fun than those other dimensions. Did you know there are some where you’re a looooot older than us?” Leo muttered distractedly, he always preferred to do multiple things at once, kinda like Mikey. “Like, how boring would that be? Can you imagine us not visiting you at school? Blah!”
April chuckled softly. “Have you gone to many other dimensions?”
“Not a single visit, we only saw them in passing when searching for Raph. I have a board with pictures, I’ll show you sometime,” Donnie answered absentmindedly. “What are you wearing?”
April slowly touched the helmet, at the silver plate covering her temple. “I— I don’t know, but I can’t take them off…”
“I’ll take a look once we’re done here,” Donnie reassured softly.
Pops patted the space beside him invitingly, and April gave a small, grateful nod and slowly sat down.
“Speaking about being done, do you know what caused this injury?” Leo asked, right before adding: “Mike, come here and keep the tail down, will ya? Raph, this is gonna be uncomfy, try to stay still.”
Raph buried his face against pops’ robes, his whole body tense in preparation. He hated the anticipation of pain, the whole system hated it.
“I didn’t notice when— I mean, I knew Subject One was in pain after hitting the wall, but I was so busy keeping the kid away from him. He was crying so loudly, so scared… I didn’t know it was a big injury until their mind went blank with pain, and we fell down…”
There was a long pause of silence as they processed that statement.
“This resulted from hitting a wall?” Donnie muttered incredulously.
“Mind Raph can’t be in two places at once, can he?” Leo sounded guilty for some reason.
“A mind reader April, how cool,” Mikey chuckled weakly. “You were helping them, right? Thanks for taking care of them, of all of them. I’m sure Puffs and Savvy appreciate it.”
I do too, she did marvelously! Mind Raph added cheerfully. Look, we have a little corner that is not on fire!
Raph imagined the 'This is fine' dog meme and snorted.
“Mind Raph does too,” Raph shared with an amused, small smile. “He sends you his thanks.”
“Yeah, I heard him,” April grimaced a smile. “I hear… everything. The helmet is— this is giving me a headache…”
“I’ve got this Dee,” Leo dismissed his twin. “You can take a look at her helmet and stuff.”
“We don’t have inert fiberglass mesh on hand to treat the crushed scutes,” Donnie said at exactly the same time. “We should—”
“What part of I’ve got it—”
The twins bickered as they brainstormed solutions, and Raph groaned in pain as his injury was poked at further. April joined Splinter’s hand at the top of his head, and something about her touch, her presence, made it all more bearable.
“Ok, ok, so whatever pierced through cauterized it… so no internal damage, hopefully, but we do need to give you a deeper check up in case I’m wrong. The more superficial crush— that must hurt like hell, but I’ve got nothing to wrap it with, so— so hang in there, yeah? Can you cover it with your ninpo, just while we get the stuff?”
Raph tried to focus his shield on that specific area, but his mind was too mushy for delicate tasks. It would be easier for him to turn into a building-sized red giant than to cover such a small area of his shell, so carefully.
Sorry, I’m still trying to sort things out here. Sweet Pizza, the mess… Uhm, hey One, can you be a dear and help Raph with our ninpo while I clean this room? Make it cover our injury.
Puffs huffed a firm: Leave it to me.
Thank you. And April, please stop poking around in our conversations, it’s not polite.
Raph let out a relieved sigh as the injury was covered with the red energy, requiring no input from his side, and April apologized sheepishly and removed her hand from their head.
“Awesome! So, no running on fours, no bending down, and no hip-wiggly cha-cha-cha dancing,” Leon instructed with a grin, pulling at Raph’s mask tails as if to ‘help him up’, the absolute jerk.
Raph grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him towards him, trapping a Very Offended ™ Leo under an arm. His brother laughed, playfully nipping at his bicep.
“This place is not safe,” Pops muttered seriously, which made Raph let Leo free so he could, carefully, sit up again. Leo and Mikey helped him stand up, but Raph shooed them once he was on his own two feet.
He could stand without issue. Moving around was easier, now that he had his ninpo for support.
“We need a refuge,” Leo nodded at Splinter.
“We need a turtle pile!” Mikey whined. Raph made an inviting gesture, and his little brother carefully hopped up and got into hat-mode on Raph’s head.
“We need medical equipment. Where is the lair of the other ‘us’?” Donnie asked April, blinking tiredly as he wordlessly stepped towards Raph, knocking at his plastron three times in quick succession. A familiar, silent request.
Raph rumbled with a soft churr, the one he normally used as a lullaby, opening his arms to cradle his sleepy brother close to his chest. Dee must be really exhausted beyond life, if he felt the need to sleep even under these circumstances.
“In the sewers,” April exchanged a glance with Raph. “We can lead the way back, the guys must be pretty worried.”
“Dad, are you ok?” Leo crouched down in front of pops, both hands grasping robbed shoulders.
“Hmm… tired,” Pops admitted weakly. “The ritual was— a bit tiring.”
“Ritual?” Raph asked, about everything and nothing, all mixed up in a single word.
“We have a lot of catching up to do,” Mikey patted Raph’s head absentmindedly. “We can talk after a nap, I really, really, need a turtle pile. Don’t you?”
Sweet Pizza, Raph sure needed one too. And pops was tired, and Dee was already snoring softly in his arms, and Mikey wasn’t even in the mood to walk, given his hat imitation, and Leo’s eye bags had even more eye bags in them, darker than Raph had ever witnessed before.
They all were a mess, and this had been a horribly long day already. The questions could wait, and maybe Donnie— this world’s Donnie, could take over the treatment of Raph’s shell. Ah, but April needed help too, her helmet and wrists…
“I can go after you,” April reassured kindly.
Still not polite to eavesdrop, Mind Raph scolded lightly.
She cannot help it, you imbecile, Puffs snapped back. You can tell her to fuck off once the device has been removed, but not a second before that.
Raph frowned confusedly. It was odd; to have Puffs mentally defend a… human , or well, someone that was not Cassey, in any case.
Interesting, Mind Raph chirped cheerfully. I’ll do your room next, if you don’t mind.
I am unable to keep you out in any case. Why bother asking permission?
Mind Raph hummed. I mean, it’s the polite thing to do, right?
You are ridiculous. You would enter regardless of my answer, so whether you ask or not is irrelevant.
Don’t put it like that One, you know I can’t help it either. It’s part of my role—
“Heh, I now see why you didn’t struggle to get along with the guys,” April chuckled tiredly, giving Raph a weak smile. “You’re always surrounded by banter, one way or another, aren’t you?”
“You can hear their system?” Leo asked curiously, arms carrying their dad like a teen would a plushie. Pops looked uncomfortable in the hold.
Raph passed Dee to a single arm, repositioning him so the legs wouldn’t hang too much, and extended the new free arm towards his brother. Splinter moved towards his arm wordlessly, letting out a relieved sigh as he shifted to get more comfy.
“Sorta, yeah. It’s a bit, uh, messy, but they’re kinda funny too,” April placed a hand on the helmet again with a grimace, headache becoming more noticeable. “I can’t control it though…”
“So kinda like a Mind Meld,” Leo winced with sympathy.
Raph grinned and made a teasing kissing sound, because the memory of Leo practicing with the mirror would always be funny to him, and his brother kicked him at the shin embarrassedly.
“Drop it!”
Raph laughed. “Never!”
The sound of a single knock came from the large doors that led further into the building, and the damaged metal fell, like a cardboard that had been knocked over by a single pebble, except much more loudly.
The one that knocked had been Leo— this world’s Leo.
“What the shell even happened here?” Wide blue eyes examined the destroyed lab with an air of incredulity.
“Huh, no wonder they started to flee instead of keep fighting us,” Rafa whistled. “They got their ass handed over to them here.”
“April are you ok!?” This world’s Donnie asked, rushing in a beeline towards her without registering anything else.
“Oh, oh, your family!” this world’s Mikey had a megawatt smile as he rushed over with an entirely different focus. “You guys are finally back together, I’m so happy for you!”
“Mikey… what happened to your cheek?” Raph asked worriedly. Now that he watched the new arrivals closely, they all had an assortment of bruises and scratches.
Mikey tapped at the purple bruise absentmindedly. “Eh, I landed weird so I got hit. We were fighting with the Krang on the first floor. At first we wanted to get to the ceiling from the outside, but it had this weird electric zap field all over the walls and windows. Donnie couldn’t deactivate it remotely, so we got in through the main doors.”
“The Krang turned tails a few minutes ago. It was weird, they were dead set on fighting us before that, but… I guess it’s ‘cause of what happened here, right?” Leo, this world’s Leo—
Ugh, this was going to get tiring very quickly.
“Leon, this is Leo,” Raph decided on the spot. “Angelo, this is Mikey. Dee is sleeping, but the one treating April is Donnie, and the small one over there—”
“Hey, why am I the only one pointed out as ‘small’!?”
“— is Rafa.”
“Mikey is shorter than me!” Rafa complained, gesturing at his brother.
“We’re always on the short side,” Angelo laughed lightly from the top of Raph’s head. “A small Raph though? Now that’s something!”
Donnie didn’t seem to notice the round of presentations, he had his tools out and was already removing the bracelets from April’s wrists. Mikey and Angelo were poking fun at Rafa’s cute shortness together, and the Leos—
The Leos were staring at each other silently.
Leon had crossed his arms, eyes narrowed consideringly. Leo had crossed his arms too, defensively.
“Ok, I have a question, and you better give the right answer,” Leon warned uncharacteristically seriously, which made the Mikeys teasing die out as everyone focused on the pair.
Leo nodded once with a determined frown of his own.
“Ok, so…” Leon stepped forward, somewhat towering over his counterpart to ask his single, of most importance, question:
“What do you hate the most about New Jersey?”
Angelo giggled, and pops snorted discreetly at Raph’s plastron without opening his eyes.
Raph groaned. “Don’t answer that—”
“What’s wrong with New Jersey?” Leo asked confusedly, which of course, made Leon gasp his most dramatically offended wail.
“Please don’t—” Raph started to say.
“NO WAY THIS IS ME!” Leon screeched, arms waving wildly as he gestured at his counterpart.
“What’s wrong with New Jersey!?”
“AND HE HAS THE GALL TO REPEAT IT!”
Raph was torn between groaning and laughing, which, he felt, was going to be a common occurrence now that everyone was together.
In the end he settled for laughing. This was ridiculous, they were ridiculous, but they were ridiculous together.
He wouldn’t have it any other way.
Notes:
ANIMATIC
ANIMATIC DRAFT! LOOK AHHHH! the song choice and the fluidness and everything is just ASDFJHAHDA LOVE IT!FANART
dancing Splints! Followed by a Vulture-insectoid Noct wiggle, wiggle~ AND Raph with a smol flower QuQ he looks so at peace here, he deserved a reprieve after everything that's happened in canon~ AND Brains and Brawns stupidity AKA they're teaming up for the Lair Games, no braincells, only chaos xDAUTHOR NOTE:
And thus, we reach the end of TEB part 1 “the Family Reunion” and enter on the second: “Finding Home.” The rise fam is, after all, temporarily stranded in the wrong dimension! HAHA!Oh, oh, so many things to cover! Finally, the Rise-12 fam interactions…. so much healing left to show. The Splinter’s mending relationship with their sons, Raph re-learning to consider his own needs too, instead of forgetting himself in his quest to aid his family. Raph and system healing, for them to grow and be more accepting and loving with each other… the fact that Puffs ‘dealt’ with Shredder in a very permanent manner. The Lair Games. Donnie postponing the portal project, the apology. Rise!April and Cassey, who were left behind in the rise dimension with a very murdery Draxum for company. The Krang and how the 12 version relates to the Rise version. Big Mama and what happened once she received her ‘payment’, what happens after she gets notice that they finally made the Krang’s interdimensional key work properly.
All in all, so much fun awaits! No promises on when the Part 2 will start, but I will post it as part of this series, so feel free to “subscribe” to it so the site sends you an alert via email. I will also post it in Tumblr, I guess, so you can follow me https://www.tumblr.com/blog/debb987 or follow the tag of #the eldest brother tmnt
Anyways, it’s been quite the journey! This fic has ended in a year, exactly a year. As always, thank you, thank you, thank YOU! YOU, READER! YES! For sticking with me in this long journey! For taking the time to leave me a comment, kudo, gift me fanart, animatics, snippets of writing, music- I'm so in love with your creativity, so happy this story inspired you or stayed with you even if just a little bit.
Thank you for everything! See ya' around~ dEBB987
Chapter 32: TEB: Part 2
Summary:
Does Raph know about Angelo’s and Leon’s arm-marks?
&
What’s the “risk” of the alters dividing into clones?
Chapter Text
TEB: Part 2 - Prompt Writing
Guys (gn) I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m, sadly, no longer as insane as I used to be (uwu). I wrote TEB in a high dopamine rush of deep neurodivergent hyperfixation 😂 I still love writing TEB, I love my characters and the world I’ve created, I just don’t think I’ll be able to pull off another 200K fic monstrosity that goes as in-detail as this first part did lmao. Thus! Writing prompts!
I’ve got the “first impressions” arc ready so the first few chapters are done, after that it will be Prompt story-writing c: TEB Part 2 will consist of things you guys are interested in seeing (and I feel like writing!) or, you know, the open items from the first part. You can submit the prompts as Asks in Tumblr (@debb987) 😘if you do it in the comment section of AO3 I may forget them lmao, Tumblr is easier for me to organize stuff.
Example of writing through prompts below:
Will Raph know what caused Angelo’s and Leon’s arm-marks?What’s the “risk” of the alters dividing into ninpo-clones?- Does R!Leon know that Draxum was trying to break free? Does he think R!April may be in danger?
- What happened with Big Mama after receiving the “item” from Splinter?
- How do X character interact with Y character? Do they get along?
Here's an example of a Written Prompt covering the two striken prompts of the list above n.n
Prompt: Does Raph know about Angelo’s and Leon’s arm-marks?
Prompt: What’s the “risk” of the alters dividing into clones?
Example of Prompt Writing
(2.3K Words)
“What happened?” Raph asked, not for the first time, nuzzling at the odd marks on Angelo’s arms that twisted and grew like roots of an old tree. All the way from the tip of his fingers to small shoulders, the swirling lines crossed over each other at random intervals. Leon had similar markings as well, although his were less curly, looking more like dry, cracked paint.
His questions about what happened in his absence were always met with just a general gist of things — we focused on a way to find you, then a way to reach you! — and whenever he tried to delve into the specifics he was mercilessly redirected to other topics. Raph hadn’t been able to insist much about it, with his mind scrambled as it had been these past few days, since Mind Raph had been busy catching up on everything he had missed.
But today it was oddly quiet. Not a peep from Mind Raph, Puffs, or Savage, as if they all had gone behind the scenes and past a sound-proof curtain, leaving Raph alone, truly alone, at the front.
It felt odd, like something was missing. But it was also advantageous, the way his mind cleared for real for the first time in days.
Raph was carrying Leon and Angelo, trying to prepare for the oncoming Lair Games. Angelo was in his arms, while Leon was riding behind Raph’s head since “Mike had hogged up that spot for long enough already.” His brothers had playfully bantered for a while before settling in their current spots.
Raph had figured this would be as close to private space as he could get, at least in the short term, and thus asked the question that had been nagging him for days now.
“What happened?” Raph repeated when he didn’t receive an answer, this time raising his free arm to pat Leon’s thinner wrist, which he could feel resting over his head.
“These were…” Angelo rubbed at the marks of his arms, a sad but overall unrepentant smile growing slowly.
“These?” Leon shoved his forearm right at Raph’s eyes, which made him kugh! in surprise.
He could feel Leon shifting in place, moving past his shoulder until his annoying brother was sitting on Raph’s now-extended arm. The slider leaned backwards so Raph could see him gesture with grandeur at his own forearm.
Theatrical, definitely hiding something.
“These are like tattoos now! The design is cool, right? Pretty great? Anyone would be jealous of them? Look, listen— look and listen,” Leon stressed when Raph opened his mouth to interrupt, a single finger raised in both warning and request. “I can come up with a different story every time someone asks in the Hidden City! Last time I talked with Huesos I told him this one was from when I fended off a shark—”
Raph huffed with frustration, shaking the arm Leon was sitting on until his brother fell with an undignified “hey!”. Once his brother was standing on his own two feet Raph rested a hand on a thinner shoulder, staring firmly down at him.
“I’m not asking for made-up stories. I wanna know what really happened,” Raph glanced down and stared at the marks heavily, because they looked like…
“Leon, these… these are scars, aren’t they?” Raph guessed in a soft whisper.
They looked like the ones adorning his own arms, the scars hidden away by bandages. When compared to his own, the ones on his little brothers looked newer. They were, definitely, the result of a very extensive injury.
Raph had been so, so afraid. Afraid that something bad would happen while he was away, when he couldn’t protect his bale. He had been terrified at the notion of something terrible happening to his family, at the concept of failing them again, that someone would die again, that he wouldn’t be back on time to protect—
“I’m telling you they’re kinda cool,” Leon insisted, feet shifting slightly in place.
“These are because of me, Raph,” Angelo answered softly, making a gesture for Leon to drop the act. The slider pouted slightly but did remain silent, stepping closer to preventively pat Raph’s shell comfortingly. This couldn’t be good news. “It’s something we discovered about my own ninpo.”
“Your ninpo… hurt you?” Raph asked softly.
“We didn’t know it could, that’s the thing about discovering new stuff, right? Kinda like— ehm, well, not sure if that’s changed here or not, but before you… got here,” before you got lost, sounded more fitting in Raph’s head, even if Angelo obviously tried to approach that topic delicately. “You were also kinda new to the whole clone-thing, right?”
“Yeah,” Raph nodded slightly. “I still don’t— don’t know how it really works.”
“You had clones up and about when we arrived here, though?” Leon asked with interest, still patting his shell. The pre-comfort meant Raph wasn’t going to like their answer at all, it wasn’t reassuring.
“I don’t know how— it just happened, and I can’t recall… why. It felt odd, like something was wrong.”
Like he was not really himself. Like he was incomplete, missing pieces of himself that were very important for his own integrity. Like Raph had smashed their system as if it were a porcelain plate against the floor, and the clones were all the biggest shards, and they had fallen somewhere out of reach and Raph would never be able to glue them back together into a usable plate.
If Mind Raph hadn’t arrived when he did… called the clones back where Raph couldn’t, he wasn’t sure what he would have done to be whole again. Maybe he wouldn’t be whole again?
“You didn’t feel like that when we fought the Shredder,” Leon’s voice had gained that edge he used when he was digging at something out of concern. A mix of his medical voice and his confident spokesman pose.
“It was different,” Raph admitted. “The clones I made when we fought the Shredder were weak, dispelled at a single blow. I wasn’t trying to make them strong, cause the Shredder was a lot stronger and faster than us… the clones were just distractions, and all of us— we all were in each of them?”
Did that make sense?
“System-wise?” Angelo helped, and Raph sighed in relief at being understood.
“Yeah. We all— the whole system, we were in each clone, when we fought the Shredder. With the Krang it was… different.”
He was left alone, stranded, out of place. He had been missing pieces from a puzzle that would not show a complete image ever again.
The risks of dividing our consciousness are too many. Puffs’ cold, no-nonsense voice had said that once, and this time Raph inwardly admitted there may be an ounce of truth in that warning.
“We can try it again, this time together,” Angelo offered, patting Raph’s plastron softly. “So we can help if something goes wrong.”
“Yeah, being together makes the risk lower,” Leon agreed pointedly, which made Angelo nod and rub at his own arm tellingly.
The gesture brought Raph back to his original inquiry, and he huffed an annoyed growl.
“Wait, stop distracting Raph!” He chided, letting Angelo down so he could take a knee in front of them both. He was being serious about this! “Your arms. What park of Mike’s ninpo caused this!?”
“Oh yeah,” Leon snapped his fingers as if just remembering, even though it was obvious he had been kinda hoping Raph would fully forget about his original question.
“I could feel your ninpo,” Angelo smiled up at him warmly, and the spike of frustration dulled down. “Even from so far away, apart by whole dimensions, I could still feel your shield Raph. It blinked in and out of existence, but it was there.”
Raph looked at his unoccupied arm, the memory of warm, hopeful nights resurfacing. The orange glow of slithering chains that had stayed with him until he fell asleep. “Your chains…?”
“Yeah. I tried to wrap them around your shield every time I could feel the red come up.”
“But it stopped after a while,” Raph said sadly. “I could— I could see your chains Angie, wrapped over my ninpo’s shield on my arms… they were tiny, like cute little snakes. They were warm and comforting.”
“Can snakes ever qualify as cute and warm?” Leon muttered lightly.
“It brought us comfort too,” Angelo chirped softly, in higher spirits. “It helped Dee a ton so it brought us some hope too, ‘cause previous to that it was like searching for you in the darkness with nothing but a light torch. With the chains making a path, it was like turning on the light that led to the door! Your door!”
Angelo looked at the verge of tears, like he was reliving that shake-grounding relief all over again, and Raph churred and brought him close to his chest, so he could rest his chin over the youngest’s head.
“You found Raph,” he reminded, transmitting the feeling that everything was fine, it was alright now. They were together again.
“Yeah,” Angelo chirped an acute sound, relief somehow mixed with deep sorrow. “It was— the day I couldn’t connect with you anymore was so, so scary—”
“Something pink suddenly popped up,” Leon took over the story as Angelo delved into incoherent, discreet sobs, and Raph sat down to cradle him comfortingly, extending an arm towards the slider too.
“Pink…?” Raph prompted confusedly.
“Apparently the Krang of this place. It was like a brick wall between our worlds, Dee’s portal machine couldn’t get past it, even after he managed to lock the destination. So we found the right door, but couldn’t open it.”
“But I could,” Angelo admitted softly, patting at his chest in silent request for Raph to stop hugging so strongly. “Your ninpo didn’t feel as strongly anymore, but the red appeared like a dying candle, and I— I tried to reach it. I was focused on reaching it. My ninpo charged up like it never had before, and I felt the need to extend my arms so I did.”
“There was an outline of a golden circle sparking in front of him,” Leon added, making a circular motion with his arm. “It was working, I could feel it. But the more power Mike poured out…”
“The more the lines grew,” Angelo admitted sadly. “It felt like frayed nerves, kinda. But I was so close to opening it, I didn’t wanna stop there.”
“Dee was sleeping for the first time this century,” Leon rolled his eyes with concerned but fond exasperation. “So I didn’t wanna wake him up. I turned on the machine, so we could use that power instead of Angelo’s. The lines were growing past the elbows though, so I grabbed him too. Something— I guess instinct told me that would help.”
“It helped with the strain, yeah,” Angelo admitted, making a gesture so he could hug Leon for comfort too. A hug within a hug, like a Matryoshka’s doll, was Angelo’s favorite way of comfort. Raph churred louder at the familiarity. “But after a bit the lines started to grow on Leon too.”
“In the end it was too much and we had to drop it,” Leon shrugged, like it wasn’t important. “But the lines didn’t disappear.”
“Kinda like frayed nerves, yeah. Moving our fingers was kinda rough for a while,” Angelo admitted, opening and closing his palms as if marveling at his own capacity to do so.
Something in Raph shivered at the implications. “How bad it was—”
“But we found something that could help us in the Mystic Library!” Leon interrupted Raph’s question with a cheerful chirp. “Cassandra helped draw the healing ritual, considering Angelo couldn’t, and it worked perfectly!”
Leon escaped from the youngest’s grasp, giving Raph a mischievous look right before hopping on a shoulder, returning to his original place right behind Raph’s head. “Look at this! Marvel at my Three Star Hurricane!”
He felt the familiar, harmless but incredibly annoying slap of wet — eugh! — palms over his cheeks and the top of his head, and Raph complained a disgusted “LEO!” as he growled and grabbed one of the offending arms to flip his brother off him.
The slider laughed, unrepentant, fingers wiggling, arms wailing as he landed on his feet effortlessly. A demonstration of just how well he had recovered.
“Oh yeah, nothing hurts anymore!” Angelo reassured, demonstrating his arm’s mobility in a less-annoying way by hugging Raph’s arm strongly. “We’re ok now Raph.”
It didn’t change the fact that this had happened because of him, because they had tried to find him so desperately. If he hadn’t gotten lost in the first place—
We wouldn’t have met our other little brothers? Mind Raph interrupted with what felt like a quirked eyebrow, and Raph’s concern at the unnatural silence in his mind dulled upon hearing the familiar voice. There’s no point in regretting something we had no control over. We did the best we could with what we had. Isn’t that enough?
Raph let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, shoulders relaxing minutely. The injuries on his brother’s arms had healed fully, leaving only scars in their wake. A permanent reminder of old pain and hurt, just like the one adorning Raph’s own arms.
He used said arms to pull both, his least and his most annoying brother, into a hug.
“Sorry you got hurt,” Raph said softly, trying not to cry. This was all he could do. He hadn’t been there to help them avoid it, hadn’t been there for their recovery… he was just here now, witnessing the aftermath of their efforts.
“It’s not a big deal. We love ya’ Raph-a-la-la,” Leon let Raph squeeze him hard, for once not complaining about the lack of personal space and oxygen. Raph really couldn’t ask for a kinder brother.
“We can have sleepovers to paint over them?” Angelo suggested, the familiar spark of chaotic creativity entering his gaze. “Customizable tattoos!”
It was not the first time his little brother offered that, considering he had liked to paint over Raph’s scars when he was little. The tradition had been lost after Raph grew uncomfortable with it, after he finally gave his brothers the general gist of what had happened with Draxum. After Angelo finally got to know what had caused them for real.
Raph hadn’t been able to stomach the idea of little Mikey painting art in his arms, looking at him with that understanding, sad look that was much too old for his real age.
“Yeah, we can make a game of who comes up with the best designs, huh? Spoiler alert, it’s gonna be me,” Leon closed his eyes and gestured at himself like he was royalty, which made Raph snort.
He glanced at his bandaged arms. Raph didn’t like looking at his scars. He didn’t like it when others saw them either, because something always changed in their gaze, in their expression, in the way they treated him afterward, and Raph didn’t like dealing with it, he would rather not think about it.
“Yeah… I guess we can,” Raph admitted hesitatingly.
But looking at Angelo’s beaming face, the tearful nostalgic laugh as memories of the times they had spent together in their childhood resurfaced; Raph couldn’t bring himself to regret it.
AN: There may be some prompts that last for several chapters, others that can be covered in a single one. I’ll try to keep a semblance of continuity as things get through (so if X and Y character left off in a sour note in the last published chapter, they won’t be buddy-buddy in the next prompt without justification) and leverage the chapter’s notes if something needs extra clarification.
Oh, and also, the first chapter of TEB: Part 2 is now published. Click next work in the series! 😉
See ya’ around~ dEBB987
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DannyFowltheRanger on Chapter 1 Mon 19 Dec 2022 01:25AM UTC
Last Edited Mon 19 Dec 2022 01:26AM UTC
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