Chapter Text
under the influence.
chapter 1 : petrichor and mint chocolate
Killua presented as father wanted.
Killua went into his rut immediately after as mother wanted.
“Illu?”
And here Illumi is, at Hisoka’s penthouse, as nobody wanted.
The door had swung open revealing a very shirtless Hisoka. It was an impatient greeting until he realized that it was Illumi.
“What’s wrong?”
It was late. His legs were getting weak and his head hurt. He had been traveling for a long time and he was exhausted. There were a lot of things Illumi could complain about but he chose not to. It made no difference.
“I need to stay here.” He also thought about pushing past the magician but he was raised with decorum. So, he waited until he was invited in.
“What… Is a hotel not–” Hisoka stopped rubbing his eyes when he took a deep breath. “Oh. I see.”
Illumi glared at the door until the silence irritated him. Hisoka was never quiet when Illumi wanted him to be and especially not when Illumi asked him to be. Hisoka specifically loved to moan and groan when Illumi put a finger to his lips during a mission. Hisoka would even suck on said finger.
He was just a very inconvenient man.
For example, right now; the magician went from looking exceptionally tired to overly confident, sporting a horrific-looking grin before opening the large heavy silver door. He walked backward and motioned for Illumi to enter.
The door was not even close to the size of the one at the Zoldyck estate but it was made of metal and at least 10 feet. Illumi hesitated for a moment before side-eyeing Hisoka.
He wasn’t scared and that’s what scared him.
Hisoka leaned on the door as Illumi took small steps past his entryway. He felt Hisoka’s stare on his ass.
Rolling his eyes, Illumi surveyed the space to see if anything had changed since the last time he stayed over.
Usually, Milluki booked a hotel in an expensive district in the city for him when he did missions but truthfully Illumi liked to stay in the magician's penthouse. It was a nice apartment. Illumi supposed that after years of complaining about the arena and the size of Hisoka’s shoebox ones, the magician had decided to cave and actually buy a flat. It was not like he was actively hunting Chrollo anymore.
It was a large open space with floor-to-ceiling windows because Hisoka loved a view. He also liked to fuck people against said windows while watching herds of pedestrians scramble around on the ground level like ants unknowing that if they had good eyesight and looked up–they would see somebody’s son getting their back blown out… or whatever the hell he told Illumi when they were with the realtor.
The furniture was modern and expensive but decorated with ridiculously colored pillows and throws. The floor was dark, the walls were a deep gray, and the paintings were vulgar and colorful. Illumi also knew that the one in the guest room was done in blood by Hisoka himself.
Illumi actually remembered very well that they had been on a mission together to take out an elite crime lord in the city. The mistress had been an art dealer and Hisoka thought it was a poetic ending for her to become art itself since she decided to visit her lover while he was being gutted.
The penthouse was very him; moody, playful, and erotic. It smelled like him too. And Hisoka had the most obnoxious alpha scent Illumi’d ever smelled. His true scent was not nearly as strong as the odors he suppressed it with, however, it was still ridiculous; grass after rain, the beach or rather sand, and a slight hint of processed sugar on the rare moment he felt anything other than murderous, horny, and unhinged.
Illumi supposed that it wasn’t that it was necessarily obnoxious, per se, but those smells were just not what one would expect the magician to truly smell like, let alone a penthouse in the middle of a metropolis. He was supposed to smell like cake or cough syrup and something metallic but Hisoka just smelled refreshing and slightly sweet.
Illumi had known the smell well from their childhood–before he and Hisoka knew what suppressants were, whether they were scent, rut, or heat. Or rather before Hisoka started stealing suppressants and plotting on becoming a worse version of himself.
“It’s been years, Illu…” Hisoka came up behind him.
Illumi almost leaned into the palms gently pressing on his hips. “Are you finally going to let me take care of you through your heat agai–”
“No. I just need a place to stay. You need to leave,” Illumi abruptly turned around.
They were close. Close enough for Illumi to smell Hisoka’s body wash and color protection shampoo.
“This is my house, Illumi…” Hisoka dropped his hands and deadpanned.
They were close enough to kiss.
Illumi blinked once. “And I asked you if I may stay here. Is that a yes or a no? And I need you to give me an answer quickly so I can attempt to make accommodations.”
He pulled out his phone as Hisoka took a few steps back from him. The magician started making his way toward the kitchen.
Illumi made sure his hands did not shake as anxiety began to build in his stomach. His tolerance had been slipping for several days now. He was less cold, calculating, and apathetic, and far more sentimental than he should be. He had already been feeling out of his mind and all he wanted was comfort. Now he was surrounded by Hisoka’s familiar fake bubblegum scent and the hints of fresh rainwater. There was no nest, no warmth, and it felt awful having his parents kick him and his other siblings out, with no word or concern, especially no concern for himself during this time.
His mother knew their heats were dreadful. Of course, Illumi understood that Killua was the next alpha. This was the most important moment of their lives but his second gender still felt very discontented and abandoned.
Panic started creeping down his spine and he loathed it.
He was not weak and he felt exceptionally weak at the moment.
Illumi had been so certain Hisoka would let him use his place for a few days because he could easily fuck off to ruin someone’s life, come back, and it would be like Illumi had never been there.
“Why here?” Hisoka frowned while standing barefoot in his open kitchen.
“I am told that I do not have a strong scent, really I have no scent at all, but–”
“You smell like chocolate and mint,” Hisoka stated plainly and it was Illumi’s turn to frown. He did?
Grandfather would not lie about this...
Illumi dismissed Hisoka and continued, “But it is different when I go through my heat. If I go to a hotel… I do not want to risk anyone finding out that scent, me having a moment of weakness and trying to find someone to fuck me, or someone finding me and raping me, Hisoka.”
“And you won't let me help you?”
“No.”
“And why not?”
“No, Hisoka!” Illumi snapped.
“If I say no, then what is your alternative, Lu?”
Something caught in Illumi's throat. Hisoka hadn’t called him Lu since he was 17.
Illumi couldn’t tell if the magician was playing or not and that unsettled him.
“Call Milluki and hope he is nearby so he can watch whatever area I choose to nest, or fight you–”
Hisoka moaned.
“–And commandeer your home, or call Chrollo.”
All horniness and humor on Hisoka’s face vanished.
“And why exactly would you call Chrollo?” His voice was sickly sweet.
Illumi almost winced, “Hisoka, I literally do not have time for this.”
“Answer two questions for me and be honest or I’m leaving you to Yorknew–” the magician paused before he took a seat on one of the stools at the island that resided between his kitchen and living area. “Or to Chrollo and whatever disease you will catch while he raws you on the asbestos-filled tiles in whatever new abandoned warehouse he is occupying.”
Illumi frowned again.
Hisoka was upset. His bloodlust wasn’t showing because contrary to popular belief, it was not something that always happened when one is upset. Especially not Hisoka’s.
Hisoka’s anger appeared in the way his tongue curled around words and how bitter they tasted when they were spat at you.
Nevertheless, Illumi swallowed it, “What are they first?”
“Let's start with the question whose answer I care less about; Milluki does not leave the estate. What could possibly be so important that you and the rest of your siblings were kicked off that mountain during what will probably be the worst heat of your life?”
Illumi looked away. Of course Hisoka would know this.
“Two, why Chrollo?”
Illumi rolled his eyes out of Hisoka’s view.
Hisoka was an only child with natural talent beyond comprehension. He thought everything in the world could be his and his alone. Illumi had to learn to share. Hisoka did not. He either had everything or nothing at all. Everything was always extreme with him. With them.
“Killua presented,” Illumi turned back around only to see a very confused magician.
“So? You knew he was an alpha.”
That was true. Illumi suspected he was the alpha from just seeing his little tufted white hair when he was a baby. There was no way he would not be the heir. And then Illumi knew as soon as Killua defied one of Milluki’s orders, called him a bitch, and resumed to get Milluki in trouble.
“Of course, I knew. But father and mother…” Illumi trailed off. His parents were quite simple; everyone needed to be tested. “They are…” But somehow Illumi could not explain how they just didn’t know Killua was an alpha like he did.
For someone who should be spiritless, Illumi knew Killua’s spirit immediately.
“Alright… So he’s an alpha…” Hisoka probed. And although Illumi did not need to elucidate, he did. In retrospect, he suspected he had a lot to get off his chest.
“He went into a natural rut. And ruts for Zoldyck alphas are not easy.” Zoldycks are supposed to be the epitome of control. Illumi supposed that is why they are so uncontrolled during that time. Even Hisoka… in his youth was more controlled than Silva is now. And it was not a testament to their power level, because there were very few others in the world better than Zoldycks. It was just… Hisoka, although, he wanted himself perceived as the opposite, is controlled. He is a controlled chaos that handles his ruts well to Illumi’s standard. But then again, Illumi was the only person to survive one of Hisoka’s ruts.
Nevertheless, in any story Hisoka told about his ruts, it was very clear, Hisoka governed how absolutely insane he was. It was rare that any Zoldyck alpha even remembered their ruts.
“There are many things we as a family can bear, but our alpha’s ruts are both precious and absolutely horrifying and intense. According to Grandfather, the first one is roughest.” Depending on the Zoldyck, the current household’s alpha will choose whether an omega will be taken. Illumi never got to hear the decision, but if he had to guess, mother would want to accommodate Kill, and Father will want to test his endurance before they send a heat-ridden omega to his brother.
But… Ilumi knows Killua. His brother will not accept it. “My mother thinks this to be a special moment but me, father, and grandfather know it will be especially turbulent given his mood.”
Killua will probably kill any omega they offer him.
“Mood?” Hisoka tips his head, his hand now coming to rest on his chin. “What happened?”
Killua is special.
“Illu?”
Illumi should have known he’d fail to do what needed to be done for Killua. But… Killua was special. Illumi could not break his spirit. His spirit is what will make him the strongest Zoldyck alpha. But his spirit could also cause great destruction to the Zoldyck family.
“I think Gon presented as an alpha…” Illumi slowly moved closer as if it was a secret and his parents would hear.
“Hm,” Hisoka straightened up, intrigued.
Something about Hisoka thinking about someone other than him right now mystified him.
Of course, Hisoka would be curious about the family business to some extent but Illumi knew that Hisoka was just as, if not more, curious at the fact that Illumi was openly sharing secrets. He had been watching Illumi tell these stories as if Illumi hung the moon and it was the attention that his omega craved; that distraction from the feeling of abandonment his family had created.
And now he was interested in that Gon boy who seemed to never change out of that little green two-piece outfit. He wanted that child dead for not only stealing Killua away from him but for diverting Hisoka away as well.
“Is that surprising?” Illumi almost snapped, but instead, the words came out blank.
“No actually,” Hisoka sighed mournfully. “I don't know if disappointing is the word but part of me wished he could have been an omega to break.”
Illumi’s face fell. His insides felt shredded and he was dejected.
Titling his head, Hisoka hummed for Illumi to continue and it was if the magician’s alpha commanded him to respond.
“I’m assuming that is why Killua came home,” Illumi clipped.
Hisoka took the ends of a thick strand of Illumi’s hair and twirled it around his fingers.
Unfortunately, the omega in him got happy enough for him to add, “I also think Gon entered his rut with some omega too.”
“Ahh, trouble in paradise.”
Illumi smacked Hisoka’s hand away and the clown chuckled.
“Hisoka, do not start.” It was a warning. Illumi did not want to think about what the magician never seemed to let go of.
“Loving another Alpha is not for the faint-hearted.”
Illumi gritted his teeth and took one step back. He ignored what Hisoka was implying about the magician’s own obsession with Chrollo and focused on the main issue; if Killua loved another Alpha then that meant that he would not have a Zoldyck heir. Illumi could always kill Chrollo but he could not kill Killua.
Or Gon because Killua would snap again if Gon died.
“Not everyone is abnormal like you Hisoka.”
“Special sounds less negative.” Special. Killua is special. And so is Hisoka, Illumi supposed. Both alphas, both transmuters, and both blonde. “Now answer the second question.”
Illumi felt that he would never be free.
“I have spent a heat with Chrollo before.” He said it very plainly.
“Pardon?”
And of course, Hisoka would play deaf.
“I was running a mission that took longer than necessary and he was there.”
A two-month mission turned to five, and they were both on the airship that was set to crash land on the island Milluki scheduled a private airship to pick him up at. Chrollo was not supposed to be there, just like Illumi was not supposed to feel slick dripping down his thighs.
It took 1 day for the airship to arrive, and 3 minutes combined for Chrollo to kill the captain of the new ship as well as any survivor on the previous ship so that nobody but him could potentially smell Illumi, or look at Illumi, or witness them fucking like dogs for four days straight.
“You really spent a heat with him?”
“Is that not what I said?” There was something Illumi found very satisfying in seeing Hisoka jealous. “I needed protection and Chrollo will never do anything for free, you know that.”
Illumi supposed that was half a lie. Chrollo would have killed them all and not fucked him if he’d asked. Chrollo would have just asked for a favor in a year or two and Illumi would have complied but the feeling of liquid gushing from within him and leaving a hole in his belly was just not appealing.
“Does he know what you smell like too?”
Illumi shifted. “I suppose–”
Hisoka growled.
“I don’t know… I didn’t know I had a specific scent… Just a heat scent... He did not say.” Nervous. Illumi felt nervous and the sadistic part of him felt excited.
It was rather humorous how Hisoka went from arrogant, to curious, to shy, to jealous. “Stop, Hisoka. I can taste your bloodlust.”
He groaned, “Don’t say those things to me right now.”
And he was back to aroused.
“One other question…”
Ilumi gritted his teeth.
“Why here? Why not just go back to him?” To Chrollo. Illumi thought about it. Chrollo should be in Yorknew within two days. He might be able to suppress himself until then but it was not as soothing a thought. He knew Hisoka’s penthouse. He’d even left, by accident, of course, little items like unscented shampoo, hairbrushes, and a normal dark blanket that was not any of Hisoka’s neon ones. It was not home but it was not unfamiliar.
Chrollo was Chrollo. Cold, calm, methodical, charming, nosy, ambitious Chrollo.
“I do not like to spend my heats with people.” It was a half lie. There was no way for him to hate spending his heat with another alpha. It was just that he hated the attachment. The more time you spend with someone, the harder it is to spend them alone.
“It’s safe, Hisoka.” Even his father knew that his occasional partnership with Hisoka was solid because Silva had not tried to kill the magician yet. “Nobody is going to come up here. Everyone fears you or wants to fight you… If they smell an omega, then they will assume you have one here for your rut… and Hisoka, every time you go into a rut, you kill people.”
Hisoka chuckled fondly.
That was common news to anybody who knew of him. Hisoka often liked his final orgasm to be held in a pool of blood.
“Nobody will come up here.”
Hisoka stared at Illumi for several moments before shrugging, “Fine. Let me just get a bag.”
Illumi could not help but follow him to the door, taking in his alpha scent and very discreetly hoping that he did not do laundry.
“There is food in the fridge,” the magician tossed casually over his shoulder before stuffing a blue costume into a white duffle bag and throwing on a button-up shirt that he did not fasten and a corset he did not fully tighten.
His hair was fading to blonde which told Illumi he would be dying it soon and Illumi wished he could do it like when they were teenagers.
“Call me if you need anything, my dear sweet Illu,” he sang on his way to the front door.
There was a pit in Illumi’s stomach. The omega in him wanted Hisoka to fight him to stay, but the Zoldyck in him told him to lock the doors and prep himself.
*
When Illumi was younger, he used to question if he was an omega or a Zoldyck first. Which part of him was strongest… the one that silently killed people for the prestige of his family or the one that preens under a firm touch? No matter how much he tried to fight it. He still felt the warm slick pooling in his lower belly ready to spill out from him.
So, presently, the omega side of him was winning. Illumi understood that clearly as he made his way into Hisoka’s bathroom–which smelled like Hisoka and strawberries. The floor was only slightly damp from when Hisoka, most likely, took a shower before going to bed.
Illumi could not help looking around and gathering up all of Hisoka’s used items and carrying them to Hisoka's bed. Not the sofa or Illumi’s tatami mat in the guest room that Hisoka used as storage. And he did that absentmindedly for a while–taking random stuff he found comforting and throwing it in a pile that he could not wait to bury himself in.
That was how his heat started; with him feeling a stupid dull ache that he ignored, getting emotional at the fact that only Kalluto messaged him, and the fact that Hisoka, an alpha, who knows he’s going through a heat, has not. He was even getting upset at the fact that his mother still had not attempted to call him. Plus, the annoying nesting habit… He moved Hisoka’s pink pillows around and rolled his neon blanket up to form a barrier that would enclose his space like he was a helpless baby that needed protection from the edge of the bed. And Illumi had a strict no-eating rule in his nest. He didn’t want crumbs everywhere or for it to smell less like Hisoka and him.
He did cook for the first two days while on shaky legs. He also may have to pay for some pans that he broke. But now he did not have to worry about the stickiness growing between his legs that would make it uncomfortable for him to do anything besides stick a finger or two inside himself or shower.
On the third day, Illumi woke up hot. Hot everywhere. So hot he got dizzy. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t move anything besides his three fingers which were fucking in and out of his loose asshole. His face was deep into Hisoka’s pillow, he was whimpering, ass high as hell, and with 44% of his hand shoved into it.
The thing was that Illumi liked being stretched, he loved the pull, and he loved the feeling of two fingers while he clenched and unclenched. And most importantly he loved the pain and being taken care of after when he couldn’t walk. But there was not enough stretch and not enough pain. His hand was wet, his legs were wet, and his hole was gaping as he tried to hit the spot he knew would bring him the most pleasure. But his body only tripled in pain while his cock continued to stiffen at any friction that came from either the sheets or his undergarments.
By the fourth day, Illumi could sink four fingers into himself with ease. And by the fifth day, that wasn’t even enough. And because it was not enough, he felt empty and hurt.
He broke his phone so he couldn’t call anybody and reminded himself that if he left, he would be raped and that he could get pregnant and that the lover has not been approved by mother, father, nor grandfather, and that the baby would not be a good Zoldyck and that it would ruin his family. And family was all Illumi could think about; being stuffed with an alpha knot, being given a pup, and living a good life–making sure that he always had his morning dosage of poison right for his family, brushing his child's hair, and teaching him how to make a claw with his hands on the weekend. It all seemed lovely and then Illumi orgasmed.
The problem was that Illumi had been having excellent fantasies looping in his head. He had none of the movies from Hisoka’s erotic collection playing–just many thoughts… And they were all about Hisoka. The family he would be given by Hisoka. He thought about being choked, choking Hisoka, gaging on Hisoka’s cock, being tied up, being pet, being praised, being positioned with his ass so high into the air that his spine would feel like it would break with each thrust.
It was seven days in and Illumi was still rock-hard. Every touch to his erection hurt. His fingers were not enough, his hand was not enough, and Hisoka's ridiculous collection of dildos was not enough. And he felt like he was dying. He had no phone. And nobody cared. He was an omega. Who cared about them really?