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Levi was leaning against the wall in the kitchens, boiling water for his nightly pot of tea. His squad - the 104th Cadet Corps Veterans of The Battle to Retake the Wall, sans Eren Jaeger - were all seated around the common table. Levi had walked in on the middle of their conversation and was pointedly ignoring them until he heard something strange.
"Eren doesn't even masturbate."
"Jean!" Mikasa chided, her feet were in his lap. Levi had suspected that was going to happen soon.
"How can you know that?" Connie asked.
"Look, If he does, then he's better at hiding it than anyone else in the corps." Jean nodded pointedly. "Better than any of you."
Connie and Armin both blushed.
Armin, as per usual, came to Eren's defense. "He's just focused on other things."
Jean shrugged. "I'm just saying."
"That's weird." Connie said, frowning.
Sasha nodded. "I'm gonna go with Connie on this one. That is weird."
"He's not weird, he's just focused." Armin said again, with even less conviction.
Jean rolled his eyes. "Look, we all grew up a lot these last few years. We had to. After Shiganshina, rebuilding the corps... There was a lot of work to do and there were and are so many unknowns about the future. We're all focussed, Armin. We have to be. But everyone at this table knows how to work off some of that tension, whether with others or alone, and Eren doesn't. Never has. That's why he's so insufferably angry all the time."
There was an awkward pause.
Levi realized he'd oversteeped his tea. He removed the teabags from the pot and pulled a cup from the cabinet, setting it on his tray. He needed to get out of there before they noticed him hovering.
"So your whole theory on how to help Eren is what, exactly? Getting him laid?" Connie asked.
Ah, Levi thought. So that's what this conversation was really about. Eren's increased isolation from his friends. His growing despondence. His swiftly darkening moods. He'd overheard and even participated in this conversation many times before, but it had never taken this particular turn.
Mikasa pulled her feet from Jean's lap. Jean crossed his arms. "It's not my job to come up with a solution, I'm just proposing what the problem might be."
They were silent until Sasha spoke up.
"Captain? What do you think?"
Of course they would look to Levi to come up with a solution. They all turned their heads in his direction from their seats at the common table. Even sitting down, they were all so fucking tall now.
Levi sighed. "I think I came in here to make a cup of tea and now know more about my squad's masturbatory habits than I ever wanted to."
He picked up his tray and walked out.
But the conversation stuck in his mind for the next few days. First as a curiosity, then as a concern. He observed Eren during training; watched as he pummeled trees, sliced dummy titans, shot targets at the firing range. No one wanted to do hand-to-hand combat training with Eren anymore, and not just because he’d grown taller and packed on some serious muscle building the railroad. Connie said he was scary when he fought, Jean said he was a psycho. Levi had offered a few times, but Eren always came up with an excuse not to. Probably the respect he still had for Levi. He still treated Levi as a role model, a teacher. In fact, Levi was probably the only person Eren treated with a modicum of respect these days.
The squad had looked to Levi for a solution.
He summoned Eren to his office.
It was after supper. Levi was at his desk finishing some paperwork when Eren arrived.
"Sir, you wanted to see me?" Eren ducked into the room. His eyes were dull. Lifeless. His hair was too long. And he was too damn tall.
"Have a seat." Levi gestured to the chair opposite the desk and poured them both a cup of tea. Eren took his, but looked at Levi through slightly narrowed eyes.
"Eren, I called you here to discuss something... rather personal."
Eren met his eyes but Levi only detected a slight hint of curiosity.
Levi continued, "It has occurred to me that I may be the closest thing you have to a mentor. The closest thing you might have to someone with whom you may be able to discuss uncomfortable personal matters with. Someone who is not a peer, I mean. I take no pleasure in this, in fact I think it’s pretty shitty. But all the better options are dead, so here we are.”
Eren blinked. His confusion was apparent on his face. The suspicion was still there though, behind those lifeless eyes. He also looked a little constipated, but Levi was used to seeing that look on his face recently.
"I'm going to ask you a very personal question." Levi said.
"Okay..." Eren said, taking a sip of his tea.
Levi took a breath and forced himself to meet Eren's eyes.
"Do you ever masturbate?" He asked.
Eren choked. Actually choked on his tea and had to cover his mouth and cough. But his eyes had finally lost that dull, lifeless tone.
"Excuse me?" His face went red. His long, disheveled hair fell into his eyes.
Pleased by this reaction, Levi went on. "You have a lot of aggression while training. Too much aggression, pent up aggression. It could become a liability if you don’t find other means of channeling it... If I'm wrong, just say so, but I'm starting to think that you haven't learned how to express your sexual energy in a healthy way. Am I wrong, Eren?"
Eren’s face was burning red. His mouth hung open. He held his teacup up, but he seemed to be completely frozen in place.
"How is this- how do you...?"
"Like I said, I'm the closest thing you have to a mentor. So tell me." Levi sipped his tea casually.
"Is this a joke?" Eren asked.
"Do I sound like I'm joking?"
Eren paused. "A come-on, then?"
Levi glared. "Now you're joking."
Eren laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just... I don't know how to talk about this. I’m not sure I want to."
"That's fine, I anticipated this would be uncomfortable for you to talk about. Why don't we start with my earlier question, yes or no: do you masturbate?"
“Do we have to talk about this?” Eren pleaded.
“No, but I don’t see why we can’t. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Eren blinked. “Yes.”
“So just tell me. Do you masturbate?”
Eren looked down. "I... No."
"Why not?"
Eren looked pained. "I.. it doesn't work." He gestured vaguely to his lap.
Levi considered for a moment, then opted for being direct. "Your dick won't get hard?"
Eren's face found new shades of red never before seen. Levi could see the sweat on his brow. He was concerned for the safety of the teacup with how tightly Eren was gripping it.
"Not... not really." Eren said. His eyes were jumping around, probably looking for an exit out of this conversation.
Levi paused, then continued in an even tone. He was here to solve, after all.
"Have you ever had an erection?"
Eren looked scandalized. "Yes! It's not... like that."
"So tell me what it's like." Levi said simply.
Eren sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's like... I have all these memories in my head, other people's memories, and I see them so clearly, but when I try to..."
More gestures.
"Touch yourself?" Levi supplied.
"Yeah, when I try to...touch myself, even though it feels good, I can't seem to... conjure up an image... a sexy image." He looked up at Levi and the desperation in his eyes was apparent. Levi kind of liked the way Eren said the word ‘sexy’, despite it being a horrible, juvenile word he never used himself. He'd analyze that later.
"Ok, so tell me about a time when you've gotten an erection. A real one."
Eren paused for a long time. Apparently this question required a lot of consideration. He looked around the room, anywhere but at Levi. "Uhh...the showers?"
Levi had expected this answer. The common showers were the place of many first erections among cadets.
"The girls?"
Eren didn't answer. Of course, Levi had suspected.
"Ah," Levi said. "Boys then"
Eren physically deflated. His shoulders slumped. He set his tea down and began to blink rapidly, staring at the floor.
Levi was quick to correct his reaction. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Eren. While not very common, or commonly known at least, there are plenty of survey corps members who prefer the same sex. Some of our best people, in fact. Myself included."
Eren looked up at him, his eyes finally regaining some life into them.
Levi went on. "So you get an erection when you see men naked, but you can't conjure up a suitable fantasy when you masturbate."
Eren nodded slowly. It seemed he either couldn’t believe this conversation was taking place at all, or couldn’t believe his Captain was discussing it with him so matter-of-factly.
"Have you tried going to a brothel?"
Eren grimaced. "That... doesn't sound very appealing."
"Not clean enough?" Levi made a face of his own.
Eren smiled a little. He looked up at Levi through his too-long hair. "Not...romantic enough?"
Of all the things he expected Eren to say, it wasn't that. His surprise must have shown on his face.
"Is that stupid?" He asked.
Levi quickly recovered. "No, of course not. Just not what I expected."
There was a silence as Levi considered his next words.
"Boys your age don't usually need romance to get off, but I get it." Levi even thought it was a little cute.
"You do?"
"Of course. What I've observed in my life, growing up in the underground and with so many soldiers in the corps, is that sex is different for everyone. People need different things to have a pleasurable experience. Some people need gentleness, tenderness. Some people need some aggression, an element of danger. Some like it fast and dirty, some like it drawn out, meticulous. Some people like a power dynamic like BDSM or other types of roleplay. Some people even like wearing a collar and being treated like a puppy. It really takes all kinds."
Eren's eyes were wide. "Really? people act like they're...dogs?"
"Yes, but it’s not what you think. It’s very emotional, very intimate. Giving someone permission to receive all the attention, praising them...” Levi added a little syrup to his tone and looked Eren directly in the eyes. “Telling them what a good boy they are."
Eren crossed his legs. Levi noticed.
"Do you do that sort of thing?" Eren asked, emboldened and if Levi could guess, a little aroused.
Levi expected this. It was only fair. He held no shame for his experiences, but that didn’t really make them his subordinate’s business.
"I did all sorts of things when I was younger. Things are different now though."
Eren opened and closed his mouth, unsure.
“I opened this discussion, Eren. If you have questions, just ask.”
Eren swallowed. His large adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.
"I've... suspected, but was never sure. Were you and Commander Erwin...involved?" He winced as he said it, as if he thought that it was unfair, perhaps even cruel, to ask.
This actually surprised Levi. He expected an invasive question but in an entirely different way. Still, he’d answer in the most honest way he could.
“Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. We knew each other a long time. Our camaraderie was stronger than our sexual attraction, but yes, we had occasion to keep each other company.”
Eren sat forward in his seat, his eyes wide. Levi thought he’d been pretty reserved and tactful with his answer, but Eren was staring at him like he’d just told him Erwin liked to call Levi his little kitten sometimes, which was true.
Eren licked his lips. “So...you weren’t in love?”
Levi smirked. “You really are a romantic, aren’t you?”
Eren blushed and averted his eyes again. Levi got up from his seat and went to his bookcase. He answered Eren as he scanned the shelves.
“No, we weren’t in love. Neither of us thought love had any real power in this world. Our hearts were full of death.”
He found the book he was looking for and went to stand in front of Eren, leaning back against his desk with the book in his hands and flipping through it briefly. “But that was before we killed all the titans on the island, before we learned about the rest of the world.”
He handed the book to Eren. “Your heart doesn’t need to be full of death.”
Eren held his eyes for a few moments. That dullness returned for a moment, like Eren was far away, and Levi knew wherever he was, that place was full of death too. Then he blinked, saw Levi clearly again, and looked down at the book.
“What’s this?” Eren asked, turning it over.
“A book.” Levi said. “You know how to read, don’t you?” He teased.
Eren glared at him.
Levi continued. “Give it a go. It might help you conjure up a...’sexy image’.”
Eren looked at the book, turning it over in his hands, then up at his Captain. Levi realized it was probably the first time he’d ever given a subordinate a gift, let alone one so explicit.
Eren blushed but remembered his manners. “Thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome.” Levi made his way back to the other side of his desk. “Read the book. Good luck. Now get to bed.”
Eren stood, tucked the book under his arm and with a nod and a sir, he left.
Alone again, Levi stood and went to his bookcase once more. He scanned the shelves for another book of the same genre. The one he’d given Eren had been a gift from Erwin, as so many of his books were, and it must’ve been talking about Erwin and the good ol’ days that made him think of it. He’d given Eren his favorite, but there were others here worth reading. Stories of men falling in love and finding ways to express that love. Wall priests and farmhands, kings and servants, soldiers and their subordinates. He tried not to dwell on the fact that it was this last one he ended up taking to his chambers with him, it was just a very old, and very enticing story.
XX
Four days after his discussion with Eren, a recruit came up to Levi with his hands over his face, blood pouring out of his nose. Levi could hardly make out what he was saying through the gurgling, but the gist of it was that Jaeger was a psycho who tried to kill him. Reuter was new to the Survey Corps, but had previously served in the Military Police, and was built like a tank. Eren had sprouted like a tree and filled out quite a bit in the last few years, but he had nothing on this gigantic man who was now covered in his own blood. Levi told the soldier to get himself cleaned up and have a medic treat his broken nose.
Irritated, and maybe a little proud, Levi strode across the training grounds to the cluster of trees that constituted their hand-to-hand training area. Padding had been roped to the trees for practicing technique and strength training. When he got there, thankful for the cooling effect from the trees after working with cadets all day in the sun, he found Eren furiously pounding his fists against a padded tree, grunting with each hit.
Levi leaned against a tree a few feet away and watched for a moment. Eren’s technique had improved greatly over the years, but it was clear to Levi why the other soldiers didn’t want to train with him. Eren’s fists shook the tree, the thuds reverberating throughout the little forest. He didn’t relent - right, left, right, left - on and on with incredible speed. Levi understood, of course. When Eren was in his titan form, there was absolutely no reason for him to be pulling his punches. Every hit was meant to weaken until he could go in for the kill. Other soldiers couldn’t comprehend the burden of having to perfect killing with your bare hands.
When Eren stopped for a moment to breathe, Levi approached.
“Reuter’s saying you tried to kill him.” Levi said.
Eren turned and laughed. “Reuter’s slow.”
Eren faced Levi, his chest heaving. Once again, Levi found himself thinking about how much Eren had grown. His muscles were big - going on bulky - and for some reason seeing him standing there shirtless and sweaty made him look even taller. Eren retrieved a towel hanging on a nearby tree and wiped his face down.
Panting, Eren asked, “Are you here to tell me off for hitting him?”
“Tch. He should learn how to duck.”
Eren smiled, and for a moment Levi saw the boy again. The eager boy who sought approval from his Captain. The boy whose eyes lit up when he saw his friends. But that boy was deep within this handsome young man Eren had now become.
“How’s the book?” Levi asked.
Eren blushed, even with his face already red from exertion. He turned away, not meeting Levi’s eye. He took a swig of his canteen.
“...Can we..not?” He asked.
“What?” Levi asked. “I’m just wondering if I should expect more recruits with broken noses, despite the fact that I gave you the means to work this shit off in another way.”
Eren looked at him pleadingly.
“What?” Levi asked again.
“Fuck, I can’t believe you want to talk about this again...” Eren sounded exasperated. “Look, it’s just not that easy for me, okay?” He threw his canteen on the ground near a tree.
Levi raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t like the book? I chose a romantic one.”
“That’s not - it’s not -” Eren couldn’t seem to find his words, which seemed to frustrate him further. He turned and punched the tree again.
“Alright,” Levi said, reaching up to unbuckle his ODM straps.
“What - What are you doing?” Eren asked.
“You want to fight?” Levi asked, the harness and blades dropping to the ground. “Fight me.”
“Come on, Captain - “
“No excuses, Eren. You want to beat up on somebody? Try to break my nose. I dare you.” He squared up.
“Captain, I don’t want to fight y-”
Levi sucker-punched Eren square in the nose. Eren reeled back and when he righted himself, Levi saw a trail of blood coming from his nostril.
“I’m already winning, Jaeger.” Levi chided.
Eren’s eyes flashed and he squared up against Levi. Levi knew he’d done the right thing in getting Eren angry, now he could let out some of that aggression on somebody who could take it.
Eren lunged at Levi but Levi easily dodged it, kicking out Eren’s shins and knocking him down. He was on his feet in an instant and swinging at Levi again. The look in his eyes told Levi that if he let Eren get worked up enough, eventually he would land a hit.
With every missed punch, every time Levi maneuvered out of his way, Eren got more frustrated and aggressive. His grunts turned to growls and after a particularly close shave on Levi’s part, Eren roared like he did in his titan. The aggression was a double-edged sword. It gave him speed, strength and even sharpened his instincts, but it made him too emotional, which is why Levi could dodge Eren’s moves even if he could land less and less of his own. This is why Levi wanted Eren to work out some of this aggression in another way, if he could expend that emotional aggression off the field, it wouldn’t be getting in his way like it is now.
Levi managed to get Eren in a hold, pulling his arm behind his back and kicking out his knees. He pushed him to the ground and put pressure on the arm.
“Had enough?” Levi asked.
“You wish.” Eren gritted out.
Then he did a move Levi never saw coming, because no one other than Eren Jaeger would’ve been crazy enough to do it. He actually leaned into the pressure on his arm and using Levi’s alarm at feeling Eren’s bone breaking as a distraction, he tossed Levi over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Levi hit the ground hard, still concerned for Eren’s injury when Eren jumped on top of him and pinned his arms above his head. His strong thighs caged Levi’s legs, their size difference had never been more apparent.
They were both sweating and panting. Eren’s pulled-back hair was falling all over the place, framing his grinning face. Levi struggled against his hold, but Eren had him pinned good. Eren’s eyes were wild and dancing.
“Still want me to break your nose?” Eren asked, reveling in his victory.
“That was a dirty trick, breaking your arm like that.” Levi tried to lift his hips, but Eren’s strong legs kept him in place.
Eren smirked. “It’s already healed.”
“Creepy titan bastard.”
They stayed there, catching their breath amidst their banter. It made Levi nostalgic, thinking about how long they’ve known each other now, how long they’ve fought side by side. Gone was the boy who followed Levi devotedly, but here was someone better. Someone who could best him in a fight, someone strong and sturdy and dependable. Someone whose hair was too long, sure, but it had a certain charm to it. Someone whose eyes shone bright with intelligence and gave Levi hope. Someone whose lips were parted and wet and -
Levi realized that he’d been staring at Eren’s lips, their bodies pressed together, hot and sweaty. Eren was bare-chested, but Levi couldn’t see it because Eren’s face was so close to his. Levi looked into his eyes and saw that they were lidded and clouded and possibly staring at Levi’s mouth. Then he felt it, unmistakably - a hard, hot line pressing into his navel.
His surprise must have shown in the widening of his eyes, because Eren was off him in an instant and turning away. Levi sat up and stood slowly, not wanting to scare Eren off in any way. Eren was frantically pulling his shirt over his head, collecting his things.
“Eren -”
Eren cut him off. “I’m sorry, Captain, I’ve got to go. Thanks for the lesson.”
“Eren, wait -” But he was already gone, jogging across the field towards headquarters.
Levi ran a hand down his face, wondering what the fuck just happened.
XX
Levi sat in his office. It was late, well after curfew, but he’d summoned Eren anyway. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep until he resolved this issue, whatever it was, and he didn’t like to dwell on things. Their relationship was too important to the cause to let an awkward moment cause a rift. Maybe he’d been wrong to give Eren an explicit book, maybe he’d crossed a line. Maybe Eren thought he’d crossed a line. In any event, they needed to put this issue to bed and move on.
Eren showed up late. He knocked and entered and Levi could see that he was freshly showered, hair still damp, and wearing his off-duty clothes. Levi had also showered and was wearing slacks and a white shirt. Their lack of uniforms comforted Levi. Out of uniform, they could talk as friends - because they were friends - without the burden of their positions taking priority.
“Eren, come in.” Levi said. He gestured to the chair opposite his desk.
Eren sat down. “Captain.”
Eren put his hands on the arms of the chair. It seemed a very rigid way to sit in Levi’s opinion. He poured them some tea.
“Eren, first off I want to assure you that your physical reaction today was completely normal, there is of course an age-old relationship between sex and violence, so I don’t want you to feel as if there was anything abnormal about that.”
Eren narrowed his eyes. Levi didn’t know what to make of that. But Eren didn’t speak, so Levi continued.
“I also want to apologize if I crossed a line by giving you that book. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable, or jeopardize our professional relationship. I just thought that, at this point, we’ve known each other a long time and could be open about these things, but I never meant -”
Eren cut him off, raising a hand to silence him. Levi shocked himself by allowing it.
“Captain, don’t apologize. I should apologize - when you saw me today, I was frustrated and confused, and there were some things I was trying to work through. Some decisions I needed to make.”
Levi considered what Eren had said, not that it was particularly coherent or clear. He was being downright cryptic. “Are you angry with me for giving you that book?”
A little smile appeared on Eren’s face. “No, I’m not angry with you. But the book wasn’t helpful. In fact, it made things worse.”
Levi frowned. “How so?”
Eren looked Levi dead in the eye. “I don’t want to read about those things, Captain, I want to do them.” The hesitation and reservation he’d seen in Eren’s face the last time they sat in this office seemed to have dissipated into the ether. Eren looked calm.
“You can, Eren. You just have to put yourself out there, find a like-minded partner.” Levi found it was easy to encourage Eren, but Eren’s face fell into a dull mask as Levi spoke. He looked upset. A deep crease formed in his brow, and then he put his face in his hands. His shoulders were shaking. Was he crying? Levi made his way around the desk and stood in front of Eren. He put a hand on his shoulder.
“Eren..” He said softly.
Eren looked up, but he wasn’t crying - he was laughing. He had a slightly mad look on his face, shaking his head and huffing as he looked up at his Captain.
“Are you deliberately this dense?” He asked, his grin stretching wide and savage.
“Excuse me?” Levi spat back. He’d never had a subordinate speak to him that way.
Eren stood up, towering over Levi. Levi took a step back and found himself caged against his desk. His hands sought the edge of it for support as he gazed up into Eren’s feral eyes. Suddenly the room felt too small, crowded and hot. Levi felt as though he’d missed some critical information, a change had occurred but he hadn’t seen it happen.
“I asked if you’re being deliberately dense. I really can’t tell. Do you really not get it?” Eren asked, moving closer.
“Get what, Jaeger? Stop talking in riddles and just come out with it already.” Levi barked at him. He felt small, exposed somehow. He didn’t know when the tables had turned between them. He felt as if the little pup he’d raised had grown into a wolf overnight.
Eren smiled and slowly planted his hands on the desk around Levi. His arms were so long that even in this position, their faces were still inches apart. Levi instinctively moved back, trying to put some space between them. But every retreat was met with Eren’s advance. He filled the space around Levi. He smelled of soap and sweat - the sweat Levi had smelled earlier on the training grounds. Different from how he’d smelled as a boy, now it was deep and musky, earthen. Levi breathed in and met Eren’s wild eyes.
Only a whisper away from Levi’s face, Eren told him, “I don’t want your books, Levi. I don’t want your condescending advice. I don’t jerk off because I want the real thing. I want you, Levi, and I want all of you.”
Levi sucked in a breath. Eren’s voice sent a shiver down his spine. He rarely let anyone dominate him because it took a rare specimen to be up to the task. He thought Erwin would be the only person with the presence and confidence to do it. Everyone else was scared of him. But here was Eren - all six feet of him - practically bending Levi over his own desk with only his words. This wasn’t the boy who Levi had beaten bloody in that courtroom all those years ago, this was someone else.
“Well, Levi?” Eren slid a hand up Levi’s arm to his neck, tilting his head up to look into Eren’s eyes. His thumb pressed into the hollow of Levi’s cheek forcefully. “Got anything to say?”
Levi could feel the heat radiating off of Eren’s body, could feel the barely constrained power in his grip. His own body was tightly wound, anticipating a strike. Levi looked into Eren’s eyes and saw a predator with its meal in its grasp. He had to hold back a moan when Eren ran his hot, huge hand up Levi’s arm. He realized with some shock that he was fully hard, he’d not even noticed it happening.
“Do it.” Levi breathed.
Eren devoured Levi, pulling him forward by the head into a bruising kiss and using his other arm to wrap around Levi’s back, pulling the small body flush against his own. Levi felt himself momentarily lifted from the ground from the impact. His own arms wound around Eren’s waist, twisting in his shirt as Eren hungrily explored Levi’s mouth with his tongue. It was wild, it was beastial, it was unlike anything Levi had ever experienced. Erwin had been powerful, but patient. Eren was not patient.
He grinded his erection against Levi, not having any trouble getting hard after all. Due to their height difference, Levi could feel it pushing against his stomach and bumping against his ribs. The sheer size of the thing made him shiver as Eren dragged it over him. Eren’s tongue probed deep into Levi’s mouth, not with experience, but Levi found himself thinking that experience was overrated compared to this feast Eren was making of him. He was like a man starved, and Levi could only try to catch his breath as Eren moved on to the next course.
He tore Levi’s shirt open, buttons flying all over the room. Levi gasped as Eren’s mouth began sucking and biting along his collarbone, down his chest, pausing to tongue a nipple and bite hard into his ribs. He’d be marked up for days. He could only pant and watch Eren’s frantic quest to have all of Levi’s skin in his mouth, his long hands dragging down Levi’s ribs, making him feel as if Eren could ring him out like a wet towel if he wanted to. Eren ran his tongue down Levi’s navel and Levi shuddered and moaned long and loud. Pleased with that reaction, Eren did it again, dragging his tongue against the fine hairs leading down below Levi’s beltline.
Eren tore at Levi’s belt and trousers, opening them just enough to shove them down and out of his way. He mouthed at Levi through his underwear. Levi shuddered and felt a spurt of pre-come soak into the fabric. Eren put his mouth over it and sucked, thirsty to drain Levi dry. Then he was done with the underwear, pulling them down and out of the way.
He took a moment to stare at Levi’s cock, straight and neat. His thumbs dug into Levi’s hips as he dragged his tongue deliberately along the underside, his clouded eyes looking up for Levi’s reaction. Levi threw his head back, his hands gripping the edge of his desk. He couldn’t believe less than a week ago Eren was blushing about masturbating in this very room and now he was lapping at Levi’s cock and making him come undone.
Eren took Levi into his mouth, sucking long and slow and releasing him each time with a pop. It was clear he lacked experience here too, but for Levi it felt absolutely incredible. Eren wasn’t putting on any tricks to please Levi, it just felt like he actually wanted Levi in his mouth. He moaned and gripped Levi’s hips tight enough to bruise, sucking on Levi like he was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
Still, he never stayed in one place too long, too impatient, too frantic. He moved back up and licked his way into Levi’s mouth again, pushing the shirt off Levi’s shoulders as he did so. He lifted one of Levi’s arms and dragged his tongue through his armpit, breathing in Levi’s scent. Levi moaned, he couldn’t think straight with Eren’s pace. He felt liquid and pliant. Eren lifted Levi onto the desk, his shirt still around his forearms and crumpled beneath him. And then Eren was gone, removing Levi’s boots and pants, all of it, while Levi helplessly keened, spread over his own desk.
Eren came back up and kissed Levi again, caging his face with his elbows. Eren looked into his eyes, dragging his still-clothed cock against Levi’s balls, nudging lower.
“Levi, I can’t wait. I have to.” He breathed. It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t an apology.
“Yes, Eren, fuck...” was all Levi could manage to get out. His arms were limited to holding onto Eren’s lower back, tied up as he was in his own shirt, but he dug his nails into the muscles he could reach. Eren’s cock was nudging against him, and he wanted to be full of Eren, full of every inch of Eren.
Eren reached down with one hand and then Levi felt Eren’s bare cock against his hole, hot and hard. Levi clenched his eyes shut. If Eren, in his inexperience, went in dry, Levi would bear it, he would bear it for the experience of being wanted so ferociously.
But Eren was smart enough not to do that. He leant up and pushed Levi’s knees forward, exposing him fully. He took in the view with lustful eyes. He spit in his hand and quickly found Levi’s hole with his fingers. He pushed one in, moaning at the sight.
Levi threw his head back and clutched at the desk below him. He held his legs in place while Eren fingered him. After a few thrusts with one finger, Eren added another. He moved them in and out, not slowly, not gently, and then added more spit and a third. Levi watched Eren’s eyes, hooded and dark as he gazed at his fingers disappearing inside Levi.
“Eren..” Levi pleaded, clutching at Eren’s arm.
The sound of Levi’s voice saying his name like that lit something deep inside of Eren. He pulled his fingers out and grabbed Levi by the hair with his filthy hand. Levi didn’t mind, he loved it. Eren lined himself up and with his mouth hovering just above Levi’s lips, he pushed in. He growled through clenched teeth as he broached Levi, pushing his length slowly but steadily into Levi’s small body.
Levi’s body was taught and tight, holding still as he tried to make room for the intrusion. It had been years since Levi had done this, and Eren was much bigger than Levi would have expected. But it felt incredible, just this side of too painful, as Eren’s cock stretched him wide and filled him completely. Eren’s eyes were clenched shut as he tried to control himself, Levi knew he wanted to pound into him, to take and devour as he pleased.
When Eren was nearly all the way in, Levi grabbed onto Eren’s ass and used his strength to pull them fully flush. They both gasped and Eren fell forward onto his elbows. He filled Levi completely. He could feel Eren’s cock throbbing inside of him, hot and hard. His own cock was straining between them, every slight movement sending currents of pleasure both inside and outside his body.
Eren pulled back slowly and opened his eyes, meeting Levi’s clouded gaze. He looked down at Levi’s small, parted mouth, wanting to breathe in all of his quick little pants. Levi stared up at him, completely taken, completely at his mercy. His charge, his Eren, all grown up and carving out a space for himself inside his Captain.
Eren began a slow rhythm, pulling almost all the way out and plunging back in again. His fever was coming back to him. With Levi’s desperate little cries as encouragement, he picked up the pace and began thrusting into Levi’s hole with impossible strength, pushing Levi further up the desk with each powerful snap of his hips. He held Levi by the shoulders to keep him in place and licked into his mouth obscenely, moaning each time his cock dragged in and out of that tight heat. He fucked like an animal, and Levi loved it.
When Eren caught the perfect angle to drag against Levi’s prostate, Levi clutched at him and cried out. Eren’s eyes flashed and he pounded into that spot relentlessly, watching in wonder as tears fell from Levi’s lashes and he cried out again and again.
“Eren, yes, please Eren!” Levi pleaded.
“Fuck, Levi, come for me, yes come for me.” Eren chanted against Levi’s mouth.
Eren pounded and the relentless pace continued until Levi went taught, ropes of cum shooting between their bodies, his sensitive cock rubbing against Eren’s abs. Eren fucked him through it, but slower, dragging it out of him with longer pulls. Eren pulled back to watch Levi’s face as he came, shaking and shuddering.
Eren leaned down and kissed Levi when it was almost over. With his cock shoved all the way inside Levi, he was completely still as he came. He barely moved, just nudged his cock deeper into that heat, gasping over Levi’s shoulder as his cock throbbed and released inside of his Captain. His shoulders shook, propped up on his elbows, keeping the bulk of his weight off of Levi’s small body as he shuddered and caught his breath.
After a few moments, Eren pulled back to look into Levi’s eyes. The fever broke, and now his eyes were glassy and clouded. Eren stared at Levi with an affection that made Levi’s heart swell, awakened from a deep slumber. No longer full of death, his heart was now filled with Eren. Being looked at by Eren, being filled by Eren, his cum stuffed deep inside of him, made him feel warm and complete. He never wanted him to pull out, he never wanted to leave this possessive embrace.
He didn’t realize he was crying until Eren spoke.
“Levi...are you alright? Was that too much, did I-”
Levi shut Eren up by clutching his back and catching his mouth, kissing him long and languid. Their bodies writhed together, Eren softening inside of Levi, his fingers carding through his hair. Levi could feel the mess dripping out of him onto his desk, but he couldn’t care. He never wanted this moment to end, and was starting to get scared about what would happen when it did.
Eventually, though, they needed to part and clean up. Eren gasped when he pulled out and watched his spend drip out of Levi. Levi, embarrassed by this, slapped his arm.
“Help me up.” He said, holding his arms out to Eren.
Eren smiled and helped Levi onto his feet. Levi groaned, and hoped Eren didn’t think he was an old man for it. Eren had already tucked himself back into his pants and stood before Levi fully clothed, while Levi, on the other hand, was half naked in a torn shirt. He shucked it off and threw it over the mess on the desk.
“I’ll clean up.” Eren offered, moving towards the desk.
Levi grabbed his wrist. “No.” He said. “I’ll take care of it tomorrow. Right now I want to wash myself and go to sleep, possibly for a hundred years.”
Eren nodded. His expression was blank, but politely expecting. His eyes danced, trying to read Levi’s impassive face.
“Come with me.” Levi said, meeting Eren’s eyes.
Eren’s smile broke out on his face like the sun parting clouds. He pulled Levi close to him and took a deep breath of his hair.
“Alright, alright.” Levi said, pushing Eren away. “I’ve got hot water in my quarters. Let’s go.”
Levi put his pants back on, and draped his Survey Corps cloak over his shoulders. It was late, and the halls would likely be deserted, but he didn’t feel like it would be prudent to be walking around shirtless with Eren in tow. They made their way quietly to Levi’s quarters on the next floor. Levi quickly set a fire in his stove to heat the water. In the glow of the firelight, he dragged a wet, soapy cloth over Eren’s body, who sat patiently in a chair. Eren’s breath hitched as Levi cleaned his stomach and his cock, avidly watching Levi’s face. Levi was too exhausted to get hard again, but he found it very erotic to be washing Eren this way. Erotic and intimate. He even let Eren clean his hole, straddling his lap in the chair. It was enjoyable, but when Eren’s fingers started wandering, Levi had to put a stop to it.
“We shouldn’t get worked up.” He whispered into Eren’s ear. “Or we’ll have to clean up all over again.”
“I don’t see the problem.” Eren said, but removed his fingers all the same.
Once clean and dry, Levi pulled the covers back and invited Eren into his bed. Eren followed like a man in a dream, sliding in beside Levi. Eren was so hot and Levi curled up on top of him, reveling in his warmth. Skin to skin. He didn’t know how they got here, but he had no regrets.
“Was that really your first time?” Levi asked in the dark.
“I would have thought that was obvious.” Eren said, stroking his fingers through Levi’s hair. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I was just acting on instinct.”
“You have good instincts.” Levi said with a smirk.
Eren chuckled, holding Levi tight. “I also lied when I said that book wasn’t helpful. It really was. Tonight would have been a disaster without that book.”
“How so?”
Eren took a breath. “I meant it when I said I thought my dick didn’t work. I thought I was supposed to like girls, that I should be thinking about them when I tried to jerk off. I tried that for years, honestly. It wasn’t until reading that book that I even understood how men could have sex with each other”
Levi propped his head on Eren’s chest, to let him know he was listening even though it was too dark to see him. Eren continued, “But I lied when I said that I got hard in the showers. I just couldn’t tell you that the only times I’ve ever had an erection were around you... watching you move, watching you fight. I thought it was, I dunno, some kind of reaction to violence or something, like you were saying before. But I’ve experienced a lot of violence, and I only get hard for you.”
Levi was touched, but he also felt a little guilty. “Eren, I... I never knew you felt this way about me. I always thought you just wanted to be comrades.”
“I did, that’s the thing.” Eren laughed, a little brokenly. “I had all these fantasies about us destroying all the titans and traveling the world together - as comrades.”
He took a shaky breath. “I thought if you knew that I had... I dunno, dirty thoughts about you then you wouldn’t want to do those things with me. So I pushed them down, separated them.”
“But you thought Erwin and I had been in love?”
“That was later. So much later. When I started to realize I couldn’t be the only man in the world attracted to another man, I thought of you two. How close you were. I was jealous, honestly. And I felt like I’d royally fucked up any chance of being with you after Shiganshina. It was some sick fucking irony - I’d finally accepted that maybe you liked men, but you would never want me because I’d convinced you to kill your lover.”
Levi scoffed. “That’s quite an epic tale you’ve concocted. Too bad it took you so long to consult one of the characters in it.”
“I know, I know. It was stupid. I’ve just struggled with it, that’s all. Shiganshina.” He heard Eren run his hand over his face.
“I know I’ve told you this before, Eren. Giving Armin that injection was my choice, and my choice alone.”
“You say that, but-”
Levi grabbed Eren’s chin, finding the shine in his eyes in the dark. “ Erwin entrusted that choice to me. I trusted him more than anyone in this world, and he trusted me with that choice. I’ve never regretted it, Eren. Armin was the right choice for our new future. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Levi let go of Eren’s chin and kissed him. He tangled their tongues together and moved his hands through Eren’s long hair. When they parted, they were both a little breathless.
“Levi, why did this happen? I mean, I’ve been wondering for days - why did you call me to your office to ask if I jerked off, of all things?” Eren laughed.
Levi chuckled and burrowed into Eren’s warmth. “Your friends were gossiping about you in the kitchens. Jean thought the reason you were so angry all the time was because you never jerk off.”
Eren started. “What? That’s - how dare he. What would he know about it anyway?”
“He seemed to know a lot about it. Don’t ask me how.” Levi said. His voice was muffled, he was starting to drift off.
“They were really all in the kitchens talking about me?” Eren asked quietly.
Levi gave him a little smack on the ribs. “Of course they were. You’ve been moody as fuck lately.”
Eren huffed out a little breath. “I think that’s about to change.”
Levi smiled against Eren’s skin.