Work Text:
Based off/Inspiration from Rhapsodditty (on Twitter) Vigilante Sheriff AU!
Being a hero, whether a legal or not, is not an easy job. It's a dangerous job, villains themselves were dangerous.
Sheriff knew that better than anyone.
Unlike Stratos or Sanctuary, or even someone like Hotguy or Glimmer, his power didn't help in fighting the evildoers. Don't get him wrong, being able to talk to animals (especially his cat, that's the best!!!) was nice, but being able to talk to talk to animals didn't help when a villain was trying to burn, drown, stab, or whatever else they wanted to do to kill him.
However, that didn't mean anything! He was a hero and he would do anything to save people!
Even put his life on the line.
It was night and he had found a large warehouse, housing a gang who had kidnapped two young woman. He jumped in from the glass window, landing on someone's back. The gang screamed and went to grab him. Five against one, this won't be too hard! Sheriff thought, smirking. He punched and kicked the two who made it to him first. The third person tried to stab him, but Sheriff grabbed his arm and crushed his wrist, forcing the man to turn around and pushed him against the fourth man. The fifth man threw a few quick punches that Sheriff dodged. When there was finally a good opening, he blocked the next punch and kicked the person in the stomach before running over to the women who were tied to the chairs.
"You okay?"
"Sheriff!" One of the women sobbed, "Oh, thank you, thank you!"
The dirty blonde took out a knife from his belt and went to cut the rope.
"SHERIFF, LOOK OUT!"
He turned around and his eyes widened as he was stabbed in the side. He groaned at the pain, grabbing the man's wrist in one hand before slamming is elbow into his arm. There was a large crack and the man screamed. Sheriff kicked the man back and took out his lasso as two of the men tried to run over. He was quick to dodge them and wrapped all five of the men in the lasso, disarming them. He took their knives and guns away before freeing the woman.
"Sheriff!" One of the women exclaimed, "Are you okay?!"
"I'm fine." He reassured them with a smile, "This wound is nothing thanks to my power!" The women seemed to believe him, "Now go, run. There's no one around, but there is a payphone nearby."
"T-Thank you!" They cried, running away.
Sheriff took out a deputy sticker and put it on one of the men's foreheads. He then took out his grappling hook and quickly threw it up, leaving through the roof. Once on top of the roof, he groaned, holding his side. He looked down, seeing blood seeping through and staining his white shirt.
"S-Shit..." He groaned, quickly running and jumping to the next roof.
He kept running for a few minutes before the pain in his body took over. He fell to his knees, sobbing as he held his side, the knife still stuck inside him.
"F-Fuck..." Sheriff jumped off the roof, the closed trash dumpster easing his fall. He opened the lid and took out the knife, throwing it inside, "F-Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
He stumbled forward, leaning against the wall, holding his side. The blood stained his white shirt and hands, sobbing a bit.
"D-Dammit..." He couldn't help but curse, everything just hurt.
He groaned, stumbling forward. He closed his eyes and fell to his knees, sobbing, tears falling down his cheeks, Fuck, there is no way I'm going to make it home...
"Are you okay?"
Sheriff looked up and saw a stray dog, "...N-No, I..." He groaned, "F-Fuck, I'm g-gonna die..."
The dog stepped forward, "That's a lot of blood..."
"...C-Can you do something for me?"
"Can you understand me?"
"Yes, I c-can..." Sheriff removed his hat, mask, scarf, jacket, and grabbling hook, "N-Norman and F-Flick... T-Two cats, th-they're mine... B-Both are white... T-They wait for me on t-the windowsill, b-bring this to them..."
"What about you?! I-I can't just leave you!"
"I-I know roughly wh-where I am... A-A friend l-lives nearby... P-Please, j-just bring that to t-them and t-tell them I love t-them and I-I'm okay... You can st-stay in my h-house, I'll give you t-treats and food w-when I come back..."
The stray dog was hesitant but nodded. He took all of Sheriff's items and listened to the directions and description of the dirty blonde's house. When the dirty blonde finished, the dog ran away, following everything he said. The man then pulled himself up, holding his side as he stumbled forward.
He laughed weakly, "H-Heh, l-let's j-just hope he's not b-busy..."
***
"Come back here you little rascal!"
Joel laughed, leaning against the doorframe of the laundry room, "Sausage, you're not going to catch Hermes!"
The other brunette grabbed the boy and picked him up, "That's what you think~!"
The boy screamed, "Dad, help!"
"I can't, sorry!" Joel teased, turning, "Your clothes are done drying!"
"DAD, SAVE ME!" "HE CAN'T SAVE YOU FROM MY KISSES!"
Joel laughed as he heard his boyfriend start putting exaggerated kisses all over Hermes face, the boy screaming playfully. Joel chuckled and took the clothes out of the dryer, placing them on the couch. He sat down and watched Hermes manage to slip out of Sausage's grip. He ran and jumped on the couch, "hiding" behind Joel as Sausage stood in front of them.
"Dad! Fly!" Hermes hugged his neck, "Take off! You gotta save me from Sanctuary!"
"Kid, not even I can beat Sanctuary!" Joel snickered, "Better find someone else!"
Hermes snickered, "I'll go get Sheriff, he'll save me!"
"THAT'S IT!" Joel yelled playfully, grabbing the blonde and hugging him, "Sausage, tickle attack!"
"NO, NO, PAPA, NO-"
"Sorry, champ, you should have behaved!" Sausage teased and began tickling him, Hermes screaming and laughing, begging for mercy.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Sweetcheeks, could you get the door?" Sausage asked as he stopped tickling Hermes, picking him up, "I'm gonna get him ready for bed!"
"Noooooo!" Hermes whined.
"Behave, mister!" Joel teased before standing up and walking to the front door. He opened the front door and said, "Who is- WHAT THE-?!" The brunette screamed, grabbing the other before he could fall forward, "JIMMY!"
"U-Uggg, Joel..." The dirty blonde groaned, smiling weakly, "H-Hi there, b-buddy..."
"S-SHIT! SAUSAGE!" Joel helped the other inside, laying a blanket on the couch before putting Jimmy down on it, "H-Holy shit, what happened?!"
"B-Bar fight..." Jimmy groaned, "Y-You should s-see the o-other g-guy..."
Sausage walked out and screamed, "JIMMY!" He put Hermes down, "HERMES, GET JIMMY WATER AND WET A TOWEL FOR ME!"
The boy nodded, doing as he was told. He gave Joel the glass of water and ran to get a towel as Sausage came back. Joel pulled up Jimmy's shirt and his boyfriend poured some alcohol antiseptic on the wound. The dirty blonde screamed at the pain.
"I don't have time to numb you!" Sausage exclaimed, tears coming to his eyes.
Jimmy watched as Hermes came back. He grabbed the towel and put it in his mouth, before grabbing Joel's hand, nodding at Sausage.
"Don't scream at me when it hurts!" Sausage hissed, getting the stiches ready.
"I-Is he gonna be okay?" Hermes whispered to Joel.
Joel flinched as Jimmy squeezed his hand, the dirty blonde closing his eyes and biting into the rag. He smiled at the young boy, "He'll be okay."
Jimmy groaned, clenching Joel's hand and the couch as Sausage stitched the wound. When he finished, he poured more of the alcohol on it before taking the rag from his mouth, gently patting the wound, getting rid of the blood.
The brunette wrapped his wound and sighed, "There, finished..."
Jimmy went to sit up.
"No, sit down." Sausage pushed him down, "Lay down, you shouldn't move!"
"Norman a-and Flick-"
Joel rolled his eyes, "Idiot! I'll fly you to your house tomorrow, get some rest!"
The dirty blonde murmured something before he closed his eyes, falling asleep easily.
Sausage sighed in relief, "He's okay..." He cupped his hands together, "Por favor, déjalo estar bien, Santa Perla."
Joel gently nudged Hermes, "Come on, bud, let's go to bed."
"But-"
"Jim will be okay, I promise. Come on."
Hermes nodded, letting Joel pick him up and take him to the bedroom.
Even at such a young age, he knew his dads were more trying to convince themselves than him.