Chapter Text
mikeywave: somebody needs to explain this plan to me
frack: its quite straightforward
mikeywave: is it????
we've got gerard dressed as a priest
tre with a plastic bottle of holy water
patrick with a backpack full of chains
tyler and josh didnt even show up
nobody thought to bring a vehicle
and brendon is on a horse
gerarg: frank likes my priest outfit
frack: i do
patreezy: billie said we need restraints.. i brought restraints
lil ray ray: ... where did u get half a dozen chains from
patreezy: i am not taking questions at this time
clancy: nobody told us the plan was happening today
mikeywave: we've been discussing this for over a week ???
clancy: i didnt know it was happening TODAY today
peezy: fym "TODAY today" theres no other today its just today
the torchbearer: keep ur panties on pete we're on our way
peezy: no
my panties are OFF
this is unacceptable
piano man: let it be known that tre was supposed to get us a van to put STD in
the finger fucker: silence
i was fetching the holy water
patreezy: yeah actually i have a question.. why did they let u just walk in and take holy water
the finger fucker: i have a very unique set of skills
plus i ticked priest off of my fucketlist
lil ray ray: do NOT ELABORATE WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW
piano man: boooooo
the finger fucker: i'll DM u the deets dw
adieHD: me next
the prophet: why is nobody asking why brendon is on a horse?????
bike: more importantly where did he get a horse from
bred: borrowed it
mikeywave: im sorry do u plan on riding all the way to nebraska on horseback
bred: i also didnt know we were doing the plan today
dr pepper himself: and yet... here u are
bred: hey i thought this was just standard mischief and mayhem
i might just ride my horse around im not feelin the plan tbh
mikeywave: that makes 2 of us
wtf is anybody even doing to get STD
piano man: relax.. gerard and frank are handling that part
gerarg: i think im supposed to knock on the door and tell him i just saw someone stealing his truck
but i cant do that until patrick steals the truck
lil ray ray: jfc why is PATRICK of all people stealing the truck
no offence patrick
i just have 0 faith in u
patreezy: i dont wanna be doing it
they assigned this job to me
bike: by "they" he means ryan and dallon who for some reason decided they're in charge
dr pepper himself: EVERYBODY WAS ARGUING OVER THEIR JOBS SO WE PICKED NAMES OUT OF A CONDOM
DONT BLAME US
lil ray ray: u picked names out of a what
the prophet: well none of us had a hat
patreezy: cant frank steal the truck and i can be gerards partner
gerarg: WAIT
what should my backstory be
mikeywave: no no
we dont need backstories
all u have to do is knock on the door and say u saw someone take his truck to get him out of the house
gerarg: i am dressed as a PRIEST mikey
surely he'll have questions
piano man: he'll most likely be too wasted to even notice
actually come to think of it
he'll be passed out by this time
u can just walk in and tie him up
frack: wow i sure wish u mentioned that before patrick drove his truck into a family of 4
clancy: whaT
frack: lol jk
he DID drive into a fire hydrant tho
now he's running away
patreezy: im fleeing the scene of the crime
that was scary
gerarg: i think i'll introduce myself as father ignatius
bike: ... why
gerarg: idk. sounds holy
piano man: again
he likely will not even be conscious
frack: we're heading in
wish us luck fellas (and adie)
adieHD: i can be a fella too :/
frack: roger that
wish us like fellas including adie
adieHD: JUST SAY FELLAS
frack: fellas
adieHD: good enough
the finger fucker: i have secured us a van
im rlly putting my mouth to work today
the prophet: jesus christ tre
the finger fucker: i mean im doing a lot of talking and persuading
get ur mind out of the butter ryan :/
*gutter
- the torchbearer renamed the group get ur mind out of the butter
the torchbearer: sorry i dont feel like im doing much rn
bred: i cant believe u can just ride horses around the street and nobody says anything
isnt the world a crazy place
peezy: ur gonna trample someone in a minute
bred: get out of the way then bitch
frack: ABORT
ABORT MISSION
STD WAS NOT PASSED OUT BILLIE U BITCH ASS LIAR
HE'S CHASING US
HE THINKS WE WERE TRYING TO ROB HIM
gerarg: AND HE DID ASK ABOUT MY OUTFIT AND I DIDNT HAVE AN ANSWER PREPARED
I LOOKED LIKE A FOOL
frack: TAHT IS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW
WE'RE LEADING HIM UP THE STREET TRE WHERE TF ARE U WITH TEH VAN
the finger fucker: IM COMING
WE NEED PATRICK WITH TYE CHAINS
dr pepper himself: someone tell brendon to get out of the street with that fucking horse
bred: the horse does what she wants dallon
i feel so free
patreezy: I LEFT MY BACKPACK IN STDS TRUCK WHOOPS
mikeywave: oh my FUCKNG GOD I KNEW THIS SHIT WOULDNT WORK
RAY HELP US
lil ray ray: WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO FIX THINGS
DO IT URSELF FOR ONCE
adieHD: I SEE TRE
HE'S COMING
the prophet: why the fuck is he honking he's drawing SO MUCH attention to us rn
clancy: like the horse and the priest running down the street wasnt doing that already...
the finger fucker: OK IM GONNA SWING THE VAN AROUND AND U GUYS HAVE TO GET STD IN THE BACK AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
THE BREAKS ON THIS THING DONT RLLY WORK LOL
bred: STOP HONKING UR SCARING MY HOTSE
adieHD: oh my fycking god
holy shti
wtf happened
mikeywave: i think STD just got kicked in the head by the horse
piano man: LMAO
GET HIS ASS BRENDON
bike: no u fuckin moron this isnt funny
he's deadass NOT MOVING
the prophet: the prophecy...
i need to leave i cant do this again
peezy: OH YEA ALL OF U START RUNNING AWAY THIS DEFINITELY DOESNT LOOK SUSPICIOUS
the finger fucker: i cant stop this van at all im gonna do a lap i'll be back
dr pepper himself: i think we should all get the fuck away from here actually
the torchbearer: good call
bred: I DIDNT MEAN TO DO THAT
HE RAN BEHIND THE HORSE AND TRE KEPT HONKING AND IT SCARED THE HORSE AND SHE KICKED HIM
WTF
IS HE DEAD
lil ray ray: ur all useless without me arent u
frank u may have to make another call to ur mafia buddies
frack: i have them on speed dial these days
mikeywave: i dont think speed dial exists anymore
frack: wow ur so smart
u know what i fucking mean
Shut up
lil ray ray: pls dont tell me u left him laying dead in the street
piano man: we're not idiots
we put him in his crashed truck
patreezy: THE CRASHED TRUCK THAT MY BACKPACK IS IN???
peezy: GO GET IT WTF
patreezy: I AM NOT WALKING BACK TOTHE SCENE OF A MURDER PETE
bred: no nO NO NO
IT WASNT MURDER
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
the prophet: THATS WHAT U ALWAYS SAY
bred: TEH PREVIOUS STD MURDER WASNT EVEN REAL STOP IT
I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING
THE HORSE KICKED HIM
ITS NOT LIEK I KCIKED HIM
IM LOWKEY FREAKING OUT A BIT WTF DO WE DO
WAIT HE MOVED
HE@S NOT DEAD
HOL>Y SHIT HE'S NOT DEAD
I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE HAVING A HEART ATTACK RN
HOW DID COMAVERSE ME HANDLE MURDER SO WELL
bike: is that worse
i feel like thats worse
dr pepper himself: HOW IS THAT WORSE
bike: HE COULD GO AFTER BRENDON FOR REVENGE
gerarg: SO LETS GO GET HIM POSSESSED
the finger fucker: plan still on?
piano man: PLAN STILL ON
LETS DO THIS
the prophet: the prophecy... i can feel it
we might have cheated it this time but it WILL happen
i can feel it deep in my soul
piano man: we will uninvite ur ass from this kidnapping if u dont stfu about that goddamn prophecy