Chapter Text
Somewhere between screaming and holding onto Arceus for dear life, Tsuna started wondering where exactly things had gone so wrong.
No—seriously.
He would like a timeline. A clear, logical sequence of events.
Preferably one that explained why he was currently thousands of feet in the air, clinging to a literal Pokémon god that was—why was it cuddling him?!
The day had started normal.
Well.
Normal for them.
Pokémon popping up out of nowhere.
Yamamoto missing every chance to catch them because he got distracted mid-throw.
Hayato loudly reciting encyclopedic knowledge no one had asked for—or could process that fast.
Hibari had, naturally, walked ahead of everyone, completely unbothered, with Fairy glued to his face like that was a perfectly acceptable life choice.
Ryohei and Chrome existed somewhere in the background, reacting less like participants and more like they had paid tickets to watch the chaos unfold.
Tsuna had just been trying to survive it.
If he had to pinpoint the exact moment things went wrong—
It was Lampo.
Poor, unfortunate Lampo.
The man had been minding his own business.
And then Tsuna’s Pokémon saw him.
Recognized him.
Realized he was a Gym Leader.
And immediately chose violence.
“I didn’t even say anything!” Lampo had yelled as Dante and the others launched themselves into battle.
Tsuna had tried to apologize.
He really had.
But somewhere in the chaos, someone made an offhand comment—
—and suddenly Pokémon were evolving mid-fight.
Even Fairy had looked ready to commit murder.
Tsuna had decided, right then and there, that he was not responsible for anything happening anymore.
Eventually—miraculously—things calmed down.
They made it to a town.
Nurse Joy existed.
Peace, briefly, returned.
Tsuna had just started to relax, sitting down and trying to breathe through the lingering sense of impending doom.
Hibari was napping nearby.
Wild Pokémon were actively avoiding the area.
Tsuna’s own Pokémon were glaring at Hibari’s like this was somehow their fault.
It was quiet.
It was calm.
It was—
The sky tore open.
Tsuna looked up just in time to see a vortex forming, wind ripping through everything.
Something massive descended.
White.
Glowing.
Familiar.
His brain did not process that part.
Because at the same time—
Something small shot out of the vortex like a bullet—
—and slammed directly into him.
“—!"
Tsuna staggered.
There was a weight on him.
Small.
Warm.
Clinging.
“… Jirachi?” he croaked.
Behind him—
Yamamoto froze, still smiling.
Hayato fainted.
Hibari blinked once.
Everyone else just… stared.
Tsuna did not get time to process that.
Because immediately after—
Arceus arrived.
And then—
Tsuna was no longer on the ground.
Now he was in the air.
Clinging.
Dear life was no longer a metaphor.
Below him, every available Pokémon was screaming.
His Pokémon.
Wild Pokémon.
Possibly the concept of Pokémon itself.
Cameras were clicking.
Of course they were.
Tsuna squeezed his eyes shut.
I’m going to die.
Arceus, meanwhile, seemed delighted.
It pulled him closer.
Why.
(Meanwhile...)
Giotto had been having a good day.
This alone should have been a warning.
His paperwork was done.
Nothing was on fire.
No one had called him in a panic—
Until now.
“Oh? You met Tsuna? That’s great! I was actually thinking about checking on him—”
A pause.
A longer pause.
“…Come literally again?”
Behind him, his Chandelure, Trixxie, made a quiet cracking sound.
Giotto pressed his fingers to his temple.
“Explain,” he said. “Slowly.”
By the time the explanation ended, Giotto had never felt more tired in his life.
(Back in the sky...)
Things had not improved.
Jirachi was clinging stubbornly to Tsuna, visibly pouting.
Arceus was… still holding him.
Hibari and the others were staring from below, apparently still processing reality.
Hayato, now conscious again, was scribbling furiously.
The only good development—
Giotto had arrived.
And he was calm.
Impressively calm.
“Arceus,” Giotto said evenly, “would you mind releasing my little brother?”
He pointed.
Tsuna waved weakly.
He was still clinging.
Multiple Pokémon had started evolving again out of sheer stress.
Some of them were actively trying to attack Arceus.
It was not working.
“…Human is comfortable,” Arceus said.
Excuse me?
Giotto’s eye twitched.
Cameras zoomed in.
Of course they did.
He inhaled slowly.
Deeply.
This is fine.
“You mean because he attracts Pokémon,” Giotto said carefully, “or—?”
“Good aura,” Arceus replied, cutting him off. “Brightest and purest I have seen. Giratina and Dialga reported anomaly.”
Giotto did not look at the vortex.
He did not acknowledge the fact that, yes, they were watching.
He did not have time for that.
Right.
Okay.
Fine.
He could fix this.
“…Jirachi,” Giotto said instead, voice tight. “What were Tsuna’s wishes?”
Jirachi perked up immediately.
Still clinging.
“Grow taller, have good friends, be less of an idiot, make people happy, and stop being live bait!”
A pause.
Giotto smiled.
It was not a comforting smile.
“…Do you have anything that smells like him?”
Jirachi immediately produced something.
Giotto did not question it.
He refused.
“Good,” Giotto said. “Let’s trade.”
Arceus sniffed.
Paused.
Then, without hesitation—
Dropped Tsuna.
“—?!”
Tsuna did not even have time to scream before Jirachi caught him.
Barely.
They crashed onto Giotto’s Charizard.
Above them, Arceus disappeared back into the vortex.
Like none of this had happened.
Tsuna lay there.
Alive.
Barely.
Staring at the sky.
…What.
And then—
Jirachi refused to let go.