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It had taken a lot of time, and a lot of finagling. Frankly, when he’d originally set out to do this, Lloyd hadn’t been sure it was even possible.
It was one thing to put a soul into a mechanical body, but to somehow create a new human body and transfer a soul from a doll into said body? That was bordering on impossible.
It had been a century, though, or close enough to it. These dolls were not made to last this long, and Lloyd was painfully aware of that fact. His voice box had only continued to degrade over the years, regardless of the repairs he’d done. Now, it was almost impossible to hear him speaking over the sound of static.
His limbs, too, had the unfortunate habit of falling off. The joints were old and worn, his body creaking with every step he tried to take. Han Mi had even gone so far as to suggest a wheelchair. Lloyd might not be able to glare effectively in this body, but something about the way he’d turned his head and looked at her had shut her up immediately.
No, no. Even with all of that in mind, the main motivator was not the longevity of this body, or even the issues it's age regularly caused. The main motivation behind this was simply the desire to feel.
When these bodies were created, they were not made with touch and intimacy in mind. He couldn’t feel Raven’s hands whenever he stroked his cheek, or touched his arm. He couldn’t feel it when they cuddled, could see how awkward and solid his body was whenever Raven tried to lay his head on his chest, the sound of clockwork ticking below his ear.
Lloyd couldn’t feel it when Raven kissed him. He couldn’t even reciprocate, and every time Raven pulled away, Lloyd could see just a glimpse of sadness before it was quickly shuttered away. The topic had somehow been deemed off limits without even one discussion.
He wanted to feel Raven’s touch, and to touch him in return. He wanted to hug him, and feel his arms around him. It was the one thing that had kept him going all this time, though he’d known from the start it was more wishful thinking than anything else. He’d have been a fool to think otherwise.
They’d reunited, though. They were working on things, and in his time away…Lloyd had made some connections.
In the end, it took the help of two witches, a Voodoopunk, an amount of whiskey that would make even Raven blush, and what Raven and Michael had always lovingly referred to as ‘a heroic dose', but it was done.
The body that Lloyd Allen found himself in now was flesh, beating heart and all. The sensation was almost overwhelming now; he was all too aware of the feeling of the fabric on his skin, the sounds and sights and smells of the city around him. He had been able to see and hear before, of course, but it was different, in a way that was almost impossible to describe. They’d been…dulled, almost. Deadened. Seeing and hearing things so clearly now, combined with everything else? It was enough to send anyone into sensory overload.
Lloyd would be fine, though. He just had to make it home. Raven didn’t even know what he’d done; Han knew, though that was mostly because he needed help getting there and back home. (He knew in advance that he likely wouldn't be in any shape to get there himself.) Besides, it would be good practice for her; she needed to hone her skills in crossing narratives.
It didn’t take long. He spent most of the trip back home just focused on walking, Han Mi’s arm wrapped around him for guidance in case he needed to close his eyes (which he did quite often). Soon, though, they were approaching the carnival, weaving through performers and visitors alike until they arrived at the tent that he and Raven called home. It only looked like a tent, of course; inside it was more like an apartment.
“There you two are,” Raven called out. He turned the corner, papers in his hands, only to freeze right where he stood; whatever he was going to say next didn’t matter at all, not when Lloyd was standing there looking for all the world as if nothing had changed.
His eyes were wide, and unblinking, and Lloyd didn’t care. He couldn’t wait for Han, choosing instead to push away from her and make his way towards Raven. It wasn’t until he stumbled that Raven moved forward, catching Lloyd in his arms, and Lloyd could have burst into tears at the feeling.
He’d been so numb for so long that every touch felt like fire on his skin, and it was perfect. It had been decades since they’d gotten to touch like this; the last time had to have been after their fight, and while it was a fun memory, it was tainted. Lloyd had lied to Raven, he’d promised to come back, and while the circumstances were completely out of his own control, he had broken that promise.
Not now, though. This was the reunion they should have had. Now, in Raven’s arms, it felt like he had never left.
It was everything he had dreamed of, everything he had hoped for, everything he had missed. He’d spent decades dreaming of this moment, waiting for it, working towards it, and now…now, all he could do was grip Raven’s shirt tightly in his hands, his face pressed against his neck as he tried to choke back his tears.
“I’ve got you,” Raven soothed, stroking his hand over Lloyd’s hair. “I’m right here. It's okay.” Lloyd could hear the way his voice was choked up, though, and when he pulled back, there were tears brimming in Raven’s eyes.
“Oh, Ravey Davey…” he breathed, bringing his hands up to cup his cheeks in his hands, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. As bad as things had been, it was sometimes hard for Lloyd to remember that Raven was hurting too, that he missed all of this just as badly as he did. “I’m not going anywhere ever again, don’t you worry.” Raven laughed weakly, pressing his face into Lloyd’s hand and seeming to melt into the touch.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again,” he joked, and Lloyd could only grin. It was completely unrealistic, of course, but after having spent decades apart, both of them believing the other had moved on…well, there was little in this universe or any of the others that could get them to separate now.
“Seeing as you seem to have everything handled, I’ll go ahead and leave you two to…whatever unholy acts you’re probably going to commit,” Han said, and Lloyd flushed at the sudden reminder that they weren't alone.
“Thank you for your help, Han, I-”
She cut him off with a wave of her hand, already heading for the exit.
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” she called over her shoulder, and then she was gone, leaving the two men alone in their embrace.
Lloyd didn’t even have time to ask what Raven wanted to do before he was scooped unceremoniously into his arms.
“Oh!” he laughed, his head coming down to rest on Raven’s shoulder. “Really now, Raven, this isn’t necessary.” He didn’t fight him, though, or even attempt to get himself away. If anything, he settled into the other man's arms, relishing the feeling of being held so closely.
“Come on, Lilac, let me pamper you a little,” Raven crooned, grinning.
“Alright, alright,” Lloyd sighed, as if Raven was asking some grand task of him. “Just this once.”
Their bedroom wasn't far at all, and Raven was gentle as he set Lloyd down on the bed. It hadn’t quite occurred to him just how exhausted he was until he was laying down. The second his head touched the pillow, though, it felt as though he could barely keep his eyes open. He could feel Raven’s hand carding through his hair before the bed dipped beside him, and he was being pulled to rest against Raven’s chest, his heartbeat loud in his ear. Exhaustion overtook him, and for the first time in actual decades, Lloyd Allen fell asleep to the sound of his lover, humming beneath him.