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Barney was a handsome man..
Handsome wasn’t right, no. More so, majestic, angelic, some beauty sent from God himself, and Gordon couldn’t help but stare at him as he slept, the sun shining through the window, lighting his face up just perfectly.
He watched the rise and fall of his chest, listened to his quiet snoring, taking in every detail of his face from his prickly stubble that never seems to grow to his soft laugh lines. He noticed things a lot of people probably wouldn’t if they only took a few glances at him, like how his eyebrows weren’t symmetrical, and how sometimes he would get these long eyebrow hairs that would make Gordon so annoyed he’d stop him during whatever they were doing to rip it right out. Ouch.
Sometimes Barney would talk loud. It was something he was used to doing, as he had a big family growing up and it was always loud there, is what he had told Gordon. Gordon did not like loud. He was sensitive to loud noises and loud volume. He had to tell Barney when he was getting loud. Sometimes Barney would mess with him by speaking in such a soft whisper, and Gordon would mess with him back saying he should speak in that tone all the time.
He loved Barney. He loved his soft, rounded face, his tanned skin, scarred but smooth, his hair, always washed but greasy.
He loved his body, thought that was something Barney had never quite liked about himself. Gordon made sure he knew he had a beautiful body, made sure he knew that his body was not “unhealthy” or that he was “overweight”, and that he was cared for, he was healthy, people shouldn’t even be as skinny as he was.
He loved Barney, all the things that made him, well, Barney.
And he loved that Barney made sure he knew he loved him back. Home cooked meals modified for Gordon’s picky taste, small gestures of love from sticky notes or gum wrappers folded into hearts or animals; something he told Gordon he learned to do when he was bored while working one day, clothing that he knew Gordon wanted but didn’t think he needed, which he didn’t, but Barney loved seeing his face light up when he’d hand it to him.
Loving wasn’t something Gordon was so used to, but Barney showed him how to, and though his own ways of loving weren’t as public and direct like Barney’s were, they were enough for Barney to know he loved him.
Gordon takes one last long, loving stare at his face before laying his head down on his chest. He listens to his steady heartbeat, feeling how his chest moves up and down. He is alive, they both are. This is all real.
He lets his eyes close, lets the comfort of Barney’s warmth and the sound of his heart lull him to sleep, knowing he will wake up and Barney will still be with him.