How We Met Again

by Gazara12

Summary:

In an alternative timeline where Uesugi declined the tutoring job, his past connection to the quintuplets is enough to slowly pull him into the midst of their lives. A Fuu/Yots fic... probably.

Notes:

Hey everyone! This is my first hand at making a QQ fanfic, so hopefully nobody is too out of character. I thought it would be interesting to see how the relationships between Fuutarou and the quintuplets would develop without the ties of the tutoring bringing them together. Hopefully you enjoy!

Chapter 1: Why We Don't Play Sports

Chapter 1:

Why We Don't Play Sports

"No."

I heard a sigh from the other end of the phone, and then my little sister said, "Alright, I guess we're really going to have to sell your kidney."

"No, wait, Raiha--"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Well, we'll just need to find some other way to make money."

With that, the line went dead as my little sister hung up on me. I scowled, and shoved the phone into my pocket. After about a second, I was able to jiggle the lock loose on the bathroom stall within which I had been hiding, and quickly left the room.

Of course I'm not going to take the job.

I was too busy with my own studying. Also, teaching some rich girl who had probably never properly studied a day in her life? Not a chance.

Nakano Itsuki. Like hell.

As I stalked my way back to the classroom, my stomach gurgled, and a brief pang of hunger ran through my gut. As expected, I hadn't had enough to eat for lunch. A twinge of regret hit me, and I wondered if maybe I'd made a huge mistake.

The class was buzzing as I entered and sat down at my desk.

"I hear there's going to be a transfer student!"

"Wow, really? I hope they're a girl!"

I closed my eyes and lowered my head onto the desk. The relative coolness of the wood was refreshing, and distracted me from the growls of my stomach. I'd been able to get my usual cheap meal, but my studying during lunch had been ruined by an annoying redhead with tacky hair clips. Normally, I had my food a lot more slowly, to really let it expand my stomach, but she'd pissed me off, and I had it too quickly.

I wasn't very nice to her either though... maybe telling her she was going to get fat was a step too far...?

The door to the classroom slid open, and I heard the teacher walk in. Wearily, I lifted my head to look at the front of the room.

"Er, we have a new student joining our class today. Please come in and introduce yourself."

Into the room walked a red-headed girl with two star-shaped pins in her hair. She gave a slight bow, and then said, "Hello everybody, my name is Nakano Itsuki. A pleasure to meet you all."

Ah. I know her. ...Whoops.

The class began murmuring, and I thought I could hear some of the boys near the back of the room making some comments. Animals. If they had time for things like that, they could spend it studying. As the redhead began to make her way to her allotted seat, she walked by my desk. For a brief moment, we made eye contact, and I opened my mouth to say... well, something. An apology, maybe? To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure myself. Instead, I closed my mouth again and just nodded to her. The girl pointedly turned away from me with an auditory "harumph".

Wait, people actually... do that?

As Nakano Itsuki sat down at her desk, I put my head back into my arms. This was the girl I'd been asked to tutor? I definitely avoided a bullet with that one -- imagine trying to tutor someone who clearly hated your guts. Yikes.

As the teacher began to write on the board, I forced myself awake, and began to take notes. After all, one doesn't become the top student in the class by dozing during lectures. At the end of the school day, a small crowd formed around the new girl, but I immediately packed my bags and left. After all, I still had several hours of studying that I could do at the school library.

The next day, at lunch, I resolved to spend it as peacefully as possible, reviewing the English vocabulary that would be on the next test. After I got my barbecue meal (minus the barbecue), I began to hunt for a table in the cafeteria. Solely by chance, I happened to make eye contact with Nakano Itsuki as I walked by her table.

"Sorry," she said with a smirk on her face, "this table is taken."

Around her were four other girls -- all with similar hair. One had a bob cut and a sweater wrapped around her waist, one had long hair and bows in her hair, one had headphones wrapped around her neck, and the final one had a giant green bow on her head.

"Yeah, right. Ok." I muttered, and kept walking.

"Oh? You're leaving?" the girl with the sweater said, standing up and trotting over to me. "Why don't you eat with us?"

"She... literally just said that the table is taken. I'm going to go find my own table," I said back, looking her dead in the eyes. In the corner of my eye, I noticed the girl with the headphones laugh quietly, and then carefully re-arrange her face to be deadpan.

"Aw, come oooon. Don't you want to eat surrounded by gorgeous, gorgeous girls? I know you don't have a girlfriend -- have a little snack with us, wouldn't you?"

"Who says I don't have a girlfriend?!" I retorted, a little louder than I intended.

...Maybe a lot louder.

The girl with the sweater gave me a knowing look -- whatever that meant -- and then said, "right, right. I'm sure you do."

"Uh... huh..."

"Which is why you're after Itsuki-chan, right? Come on, no need to be shy!"

This woman is a pain in the ass.

"Come on," she said, clearly smirking at me. "I'll call her over. Get a good mood going. You know what I mean?"

As she turned to walk back to the table, I grabbed her wrist.

"I handle my own relationships. Mind your own business."

She looked surprised for a second, then laughed and smacked my back.

"Wow, manly, manly! Very manly."

Then, she leaned in close to my ear, and whispered, "Well, if you have any trouble, come talk to big sis Ichika. I can get you sorted."

She laughed, and then walked away. Looking back at the table, they seemed to have mostly gone back to their conversations. However, the one with the bow... was looking at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

Whatever. Complete weirdos.

I returned to my table, and ate my food while flipping through my flashcards. About ten minutes later, something seemed to be permeating the edges of my consciousness.

"Uesugi-san. Uesugi-san. Uesugi-san!"

With a start, I looked up, and found the redhead with the giant green bow right in my face, our lips mere centimetres apart. I reeled back, shocked.

"Wait, what? Who are you?"

Laughing, the girl smiled at me. "Hey, you finally looked at me."

I just stared at her dumbfounded. For a moment, I felt almost... mesmerized. Then, I shook myself out of it.

"More importantly, how on earth do you know my name?"

The girl grinned. "It's. A. Secret."

"Why. Is. It. A. Secret?" I replied in equal measure. Are we middle-schoolers?

With a flourish, the girl produced two tests.

"Tell me, good sir! Which of these two tests is yours? The one with the perfect 100% score? Or the one with the perfect 0%?"

I could only stare at her in disbelief. I then looked at my pile of notes, and shuffled through it looking for the most recent midterm we'd received, which I'd put there for reviewing later. As expected, it wasn't there.

I must have dropped it during the conversation with the crazy sweater lady.

"The 100% one," I replied. "Please give it back. I need it to review."

"Hohoho! An honest boy, aren't we, Uesugi-san! Indeed! I'll give you your test back! And also the other one, as a treat!"

"...I don't want it. Who the hell even manages to get a 0% on these tests?"

The girl smiled sweetly. "It's mine. I was hoping to pawn it off on you."

"Eh?! What the hell?"

I looked down at the test. In the section where you were supposed to write your name -- your full name -- the girl had simply written one word. Yotsuba.

"But wow! I've never seen anyone get 100% before. Are you some kind of genius, Uesugi-san? Do you have the mystery brain juice?"

"...Mystery brain juice?"

"Yeah, you know! The secret serum to make you a genius! Man, when I first saw you I thought you were a gloomy loner, but now I know you're a genius gloomy loner!"

"...Do you talk to everybody you've just met like that?"

I picked up my stuff and started to head out, but the strange girl stood up and followed me.

"Hey, so you're a genius right-- hey, slow down!"

I power walked away from her. No time to chat with weirdos.

"Man, you walk fast!"

No good. She's speedy as heck.

"Listen, Uesugi-san, I--"

It was time for gym, so I popped into the changing room to change. However, Yotsuba stood at the door staring at me. It was a... really intense stare.

"Listen, you. How long are you going to keep following me?"

"Until you thank me."

"Huh?"

"You didn't thank me for picking up your test for you. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when people are nice to you, Uesugi-san? Thank them."

Looking her dead in the eye, I handed her test back to her, 0% and all.

"Here you go."

"Hmmmm? What's this?"

"Your test. I just happened to find it on the ground. We're even now."

She blinked, and then smiled widely.

"Why, thank you!"

This girl is going to be the death of me.

"Err, by the way... I'm... trying to change here..." I stammered out.

"Eh? Oh! Right! Whoops, silly me!" she said, and began to leave.

"Oh, one more thing."

She turned back around, clutching the test to her chest.

"You're... pretty close with Nakano Itsuki, right? Would you mind... telling her I apologize?"

Yotsuba put her hand to her chin for a second, thinking about it.

"Nah."

"Wait, why not?!"

She then stuck her hand out towards me in a dramatic pose, pointing it at me like a finger gun. One eye closed like she was looking down the sights, she said, "What was it you said to Ichika? Something like 'I handle my own relationships', right? You can handle it -- go apologize to her yourself, buster!"

I sighed, and she laughed, and left.

We finished getting changed for gym class. Today, the boys were playing basketball, while the girls were playing volleyball. I, being essentially devoid of athletic ability, was sentenced to be a substitute -- which was fine by me. More time to review Japanese history.

As I sat near the netting separating the two sides of the gym, reading through my notes, I heard the smack of a hand on a volleyball, and then suddenly my head was flying forward as the ball made contact with the back of my skull at full speed through the netting. My flashcards, being on a little ring, simply skittered across the floor. However, as for me, I was seeing stars.

"Ah, geez! Uesugi-san, are you alright?"

I turned to see one of my female classmates -- I didn't remember her name -- approaching me through the netting.

"I'm ok, just... a bit sore."

"Ok, I'm glad."

She then turned to look at the redhead next to her, who looked mortified.

"Don't worry about it, Nakano-san. No harm, no foul. I'm sure your next receive will go where you want it to go!"

No harm, no foul?! My head feels like a watermelon on a hot summer's day!

The rest of the gym class seemed to go by in a blur. At the end, as we were cleaning up, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey, Uesugi?"

I turned around, and standing before me was an obstinate-looking star-spangled red-head.

"Listen, I'm sorry about hitting you with a volleyball. It was an accident."

I just stared.

"Ok, I said it! I'm sorry! Goodbye!"

With a huff, Itsuki began to storm off, but I held up a hand. "Please, wait a moment, Nakano-san."

She turned around, her face bunched up in a scowl. "What?!"

"I'm really sorry about yesterday. I was in a... not comfortable place, and I took it out on you. I said some things I shouldn't have."

By which I mean I was really, really hungry.

Itsuki's scowl remained, but it seemed to lessen slightly. "Noted. I'll take it under consideration."

Under consideration?! This girl...! I was genuinely apologizing!

I shot daggers into the back of her head as she walked away. Then, with a "harumph" of my own, I turned and slunk back to the changing room with the other boys to get back into my uniform. As I got dressed, I rubbed the back of my head gingerly. I could feel some slight swelling where the volleyball had struck me.

"How does that even happen?" I muttered to myself. "Volleyballs are supposed to be soft. How hard did she hit that thing?"

One of the guys changing next to me glanced over at me rubbing my head, and then said, "Hey, Uesugi. You've got a bit of a welt where the new girl hit you. How about you swing by the nurse's office?"

"That's... probably a good idea."

"Want me to come with you?"

I don't even know your name. Why do you care?

I smiled mirthlessly. "You just want to skip class, huh?"

"Damn dude, how'd you know?!"

"I'm psychic."

I packed my things into my gym bag, and then left the room. My classmate was probably right -- it would be inconvenient if I left this untreated. A literal swollen head would just get in the way of my studying, since it would be hard to focus with a constant pain in my skull. A little ice would probably do the trick.

As I exited into the hallway from the boy's change room, I heard the voice of Nakano Itsuki talking from the girl's change room. She must have been near the door.

"I'm a bit worried about the new school. I was supposed to have a tutor come and help me, but my father said that he wasn't able to teach us, so we're scrambling to find someone new."

A slight twinge of guilt ran through my heart, but it was soon extinguished by the significantly stronger twinge of pain from my skull. I hefted my bag onto my shoulder, and made my way away from the gym and up to where the nurse's office was located. I knocked on the door, and was soon treated by the nurse. I was given a pack of ice to hold against my head, and the nurse began evaluating me for a concussion, shining a small flashlight into each of my eyes.

In the midst of my pupils contracting and dilating, the door to the nurse's office swung open and in walked two girls. One of them was some black-haired girl I'd never seen before in my life. The other...

"Excuse me ma'am? Hishigawa-san here burned herself while we were in our cooking class, so the teacher asked me to help her come here. Hopefully you can treat... eh? Uesugi-san? Why are you here?"

The other girl was a redhead with a giant bow. Her name was... Yotsuba, wasn't it?

"Some vindictive person decided to use my head as target practice," I said, pressing the ice pack harder to my head. It felt nice. "You may know her."

"Huh?! Nino decided to use your head as target practice?!"

"...Who's Nino?"

The nurse moved away from me to deal with the girl with the burn, and I turned to properly face Yotsuba.

"Nevermind," she said. "Why did Itsuki hit you?"

"I'm pretty sure it was an accident. She tried to receive a volleyball and misdirected it. I think whoever spiked it hit the thing pretty hard."

"That sounds more like Itsuki. I can't imagine her purposely hitting you with a volleyball. Or anyone with anything, to be honest."

Yotsuba seemed pensive for a moment, and then suddenly a light seemed to ignite in her eyes, and she pointed at me dramatically.

"Ah, that reminds me! Uesugi-san! Did you end up apologizing to her like you said you would?"

"Yes. She said she would take it under consideration."

Yotsuba sighed. "That's our Itsuki. She's not going to forgive you that easily. What did you even do to upset her like that?"

"I... may have been angry at her and said some unkind things about her potential future waistline."

She grimaced. "Yeah, she's gonna hate you for the rest of your life. And you probably deserve it, Uesugi-san."

"That's why I apologized!"

"And once more! Twice more! Thrice into the breach you must go, dear Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba proclaimed. "Until the red demon is vanquished! You must never give up!"

I smiled despite myself. "Should you really be referring to your own friend as a red demon?"

"Hmm? I mean, I guess you could refer to her as my friend. She's not really a demon though. She's just grumpy when she's hungry."

I guess we're the same on that front. Wait a second. "I guess you could refer to her as my friend"? That's... weirdly non-committal.

From the other chair, the nurse finished bandaging the burn.

"You're free to go dear. Luckily, it wasn't too bad -- you shouldn't scar. Please be more careful with hot frying pans though! They can be quite dangerous!"

The girl nodded, and then stood up.

"Thanks for bringing me, Nakano-san. We should probably head back to class now."

Wait... "Nakano-san"?

"I'll head right back, Hishigawa-san. You go on ahead. I want to make sure Uesugi-san gets back alright."

The girl nodded, and then left the room. I furrowed my brow as I got up and left the nurse's office with Yotsuba. As we walked down the hall, I turned to her.

"Nakano-san? So your full name is Nakano Yotsuba?"

"Yeeees?"

"So you and Nakano Itsuki are... what, sisters?"

"You could say that."

"What does that even mean?!"

"You could say that," Yotsuba repeated with a mischievous look in her eye. "Wasn't it obvious?"

"Of course it wasn't! You didn't write your last name on that test!"

Then a thought struck me out of the blue.

"Then the crazy sweater lady..."

"Crazy sweater lady? ...Oh, you mean Ichika?"

"Is she your cousin or something?"

"Nope, she's also my sister."

Something just wasn't clicking for me. We made our way down to the next level in silence, though Yotsuba had an extremely amused look on her face. Then as we reached the door of my classroom, I turned to her one last time before opening it.

"Then the other two... are also your sisters?"

She gave me a big grin.

"Bingo!"

My world was spinning. How many sisters did this girl have? Was it going to go on forever? Was it figurative? Was she in some weird cult where they called each other sister?

Then, suddenly, it clicked.

"Hang on a second. This is... hard to process. You're... what's the word...."

Quintuplets. They were quintuplets.

Chapter 2: Third Time's The Charm

Chapter 2:

Third Time's The Charm

"Yep, that's right! Quints!"

I stared back at Yotsuba in a daze. Then, I shook my head slightly.

"Alright. You're quintuplets. Can you do something for me, quickly?"

"Hmm?"

"Furrow your brows like you're really angry."

"Like this?"

Yotsuba furrowed her eyebrows and turned the corners of her lips downwards. With her expression like that, her resemblance to a certain ill-tempered volleyball demon was unmistakeable. They had the exact same face, even if their hair was of differing lengths.

"Wow, it's actually true. You're seriously sisters."

"Of course it's true, Uesugi-san! Did you think I was lying to you?!"

"No, no. I just wanted to make sure." I turned and put my hand on the door to the classroom. "Well, I should get back to class."

I then paused for a moment, remembering something.

"Thanks, by the way. For walking me back."

That'll keep her from stalking me for the rest of the day.

Yotsuba beamed at me.

"You're welcome!"

I slid the door open, the other hand still holding the ice pack to my head. As I stepped into the back of the classroom, my classmates turned to look at me. In particular, I saw Nakano Itsuki turn to look at me from her spot in the back row - and then past me, to where Yotsuba was still standing in the hall. Her eyes narrowed, and I saw her mouth something. I wasn't sure, but I thought it was the word "Why?".

Ignoring her, I walked to my spot two rows in front and one to the right of her, facing from the front of the room. The teacher nodded to me. "I'm glad to see you've recovered enough to rejoin us, Uesugi-kun. I was just talking about the use of the Pythagorean theorem in the derivation of the main trigonometric identity..."

As the teacher kept talking, I found it hard to concentrate. Despite the ice pack, my head was throbbing quite a bit. Luckily, I'd already reviewed everything in this module, so I knew what the teacher was talking about - but a model student must always be paying attention. Every opportunity for reinforcement was vital.

Before I knew it the period was over, and I lowered my head against the desk, letting my eyes rest a bit. I needed to be able to focus. I needed to be able to focus. I-

"Uesugi."

I looked up to find Nakano Itsuki standing next to my desk.

"It's my fault that you had to miss the start of the class. I'll share my notes with you this one time."

I perked up a bit. "Huh, really? That's nice of you, thank you!"

She handed me her open notebook, and I pulled out a pencil to copy it over... and then looked up at her with a blank stare on my face.

"Nakano-san... this... is literally all wrong."

Her eyes widened and her face immediately turned a bright red.

"W-What?! You jerk! My notes are fine! There's absolutely nothing wrong with them at all!"

"No, look here. You've got sine and cosine reversed on this graph - cosine is the x-axis, and sine is the y-axis. Also, while you used Pythagoras's theorem, you input one, cosine, and sine into the wrong parts of the equation, and so the equation you got out isn't valid... which is a bit impressive, actually, since the equation would have still been right if you had just continued on correctly after the first mistake."

Her face as red as a roasted tomato, Itsuki snatched her notes back.

"Nevermind! This is what I get for trying to be nice!"

As she pulled the notes away, one of the pages sliced into my finger, drawing blood. I gave a yelp as a small bead of ruby red blood welled up on my pointer finger. Itsuki turned back around, saw the blood, and immediately a queasy look came over her face.

"S...Sorry, Uesugi. I'm... gonna go back to my seat now."

She then sat back down at her seat, with a look that was really hard to read on her face. Not that most looks were easy for me to read, per se, but some were harder than others. I got up, and walked to the front of the class, where the teacher was in the midst of packing up his things.

"Sensei, have you got a bandage? I got a paper cut."

The teacher rummaged through his bag, and pulled out an adhesive bandage to give to me. I left the room briefly to go to the washroom, wash my hand off, and then put the bandage on. When I returned to the room, Itsuki was pointedly not looking at me.

Ugh. Every single thing I do seems to piss this girl off. And every single thing she does is pissing me off. I don't think we'll ever see eye-to-eye.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted. Nevertheless, I forced myself to make my way to the school library to study. After all, there were only so many precious hours in the day, and our cramped apartment wasn't exactly prime studying real estate.

As I settled down to work, I got an email from my sister, Raiha.

"Curry for dinner, huh?" I pondered aloud. "That's the sibling bond for you. My favourite food after a rough, rough day."

I dove into my studying. making sure I understood every concept from the class thoroughly. In particular, I spent about ten minutes figuring out what I had probably missed in the mathematics class based on my prior knowledge of the course material, and the notes I'd previously seen from Nakano Itsuki. Suddenly, I heard the door to the library open and close, and voices filtered into my sweet siloed studying space.

"...But as much as I hate to admit it, he was right. My understanding of it is not enough. I'll get better though - with my own hard work. Not with the tutor, and certainly not with his help!"

"My, my, Itsuki-chan. You're certainly fired up about this. Could it be that you..."

"Ahhh, no! Definitely not! Why would you even say that?!"

My heart sank as laughter rang out through the library. It was Itsuki and what sounded like the sweater monster. Following suit to my heart, I lowered my head down to the table, my eyes within centimetres of the pages below me. Let me study in peace, please. Don't notice me.

Their voices seemed to move over towards the reference section.

"Alas, true. Perhaps it's too early for our sweet Itsuki-chan to experience love. What a shame!"

"Hey! I'll have you know I had lunch with a boy yesterday!"

Hearing this, my entire face went deadpan. That is barely, barely, technically true. Don't make it out to be what it's not.

"Ohhh? Do tell, do tell!"

"You were mean, so I'm not going to," I heard Itsuki puff. "Besides, he's a jerk. Ah, there's the book I was after."

There was the sound of papers being shuffled around, and then a laugh from the sweater monster... Ichika, I think her name was?

"Trigonometry for dummies? That's what you wanted?"

"Don't laugh! I was so embarrassed today, I wanted to die. I do not want to let something like that happen again."

"Right, right. ...Ah, geez, I need to get to my job. Let's go, Itsuki-chan."

And with that, the duo walked out of the shelves and directly into the study area where I had parked myself with my books and notes. Immediately, Itsuki stopped dead in her tracks, a completely blank look crossing her face. Ichika walked into her back, making her stumble forward a bit.

"Eh? Itsuki, what are you-"

Itsuki's eyes made direct contact with mine, and her blank stare, if possible, became even more blank, like a dead fish engaged in a staring competition. Then...

"Did you hear?"

"Um..."

"I said, did you hear?"

Sweating bullets, I glanced away. "Hear what? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Slowly, red filled Itsuki's face. "This is the third time I've embarrassed myself in front of you today. Please don't ever talk to me again."

With that, she immediately ran out of the room, her yellow reference book clutched to her chest. From the aisle walked Ichika, amusement glittering in her eyes. The sweater monster walked over to my table and sat down, her head tilted to the side and resting on one hand.

"Wow, you really did a number on Itsuki-chan. I don't think I've ever seen her blush that hard. What on earth did you do?"

I glared at her. "I didn't do anything. All the things that happened today were self-inflicted wounds - or rather, she inflicted them on me. Literally, I had to go to the nurse's office today because of her."

"Hmmm, so I heard - where you had our little Yotsuba nurse you back to health, eh?" Ichika gave me a wink. "For a nerd, you sure are a player!"

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Sure."

Ichika's eyes softened a little. "I'm sure Itsuki feels terrible about the fact she hurt you. Especially since it was by accident. That girl just has a lot of trouble being honest."

I looked her dead in the eyes. "Mind your own business. I thought I told you already - my relationships are my own business."

"Hmmm? So cold. But what about your relationship with me, Fuutarou-kun?"

"Wait, what? I-"

Ichika leaned back and laughed. "I'm kidding. You're an interesting one, though. I'm looking forward to seeing where your relationship with my sisters goes."

She then glanced at her phone, stood up, and started heading towards the door. "I'm going to be late to my job. See you later, Fuutarou-kun!"

With that the door to the library opened and closed again, and the room was finally silent. I took a deep breath, and then turned back to my studies. Right, the geometric interpretation of the arctangent function...

The next day, during the morning periods, I could feel a gaze on the back of my neck, burning a hole through my spine. Whenever I turned to look, I would see Nakano Itsuki look away from me pointedly. By the time lunchtime rolled around, I was decidedly irritated with the whole situation, and so as soon as the teacher let out the class, I grabbed my bag and immediately exited the classroom.

After getting my lunch I sat down at a table in the corner of the cafeteria, my bag in my lap, ready to pull out my notes and study.

"Uesugi-san? Is it alright if I eat with you?"

I looked up from my bag to find Yotsuba standing over the table with her tray of food. It certainly had more than mine, but significantly less than her sister's had had the previous day. My initial reaction was to refuse, but... something stopped me.

"Sure, do what you like. I'm planning to study though."

"That's fine, that's fine!"

With that, Yotsuba sat down at my table, and I had a lunch companion.

"How's your head, Uesugi-san? I remember getting hit in the face with a ball during gym class back at our old school - man that hurt!"

I rubbed the back of my head. The swelling had mostly gone down, but it was still tender.

"Mostly fine. I'll live... probably."

"Eh? Probably? You gotta be more confident in your vitality, Uesugi-san!"

"I'll definitely live."

"Good!" Yotsuba beamed. "By the way, I got a real grilling from Itsuki after school yesterday. She wanted to know why I was hanging out with you after you got back from the nurse's office. She seemed really bothered about it!"

"Hmm. Was that before or after she told me to never talk to her again?"

"Itsuki didn't mention that to me, but... probably after? It was at home. Unless you snuck into her room last night after we talked. Uesugi-san, you dog!"

"Obviously I didn't do that," I sighed.

Yotsuba laughed. "I'm just kidding. She did seem pretty upset though. Hopefully she makes up with you at some point."

"That girl seems to be in a state of perpetual anger at me. I don't plan to apologize every single time she does something to upset herself. She embarrassed herself."

Yotsuba sighed a very deep sigh. "Yeah, that's fair. I still hope you two make up at some point."

I gave a non-committal shrug, and began eating my food. Yotsuba began digging into hers as well, but with the conversation temporarily halted by the consumption of sustenance, I was suddenly able to hear the whispers of the surrounding tables. Uesugi is sitting with a girl again? Why is she sitting with that loser? Ugh, gross.

I picked out one of the offenders as being a group of girls at a table about two over from me. I made direct eye contact with the one that I was pretty sure made the comment, and arranged my face into the closest approximate to a death glare that I could manage - which was pretty good, if I were to say so myself. The girl in question let out a yeep, and then turned back towards her group.

"Jerks," I muttered to myself.

"Hmm?" Yostuba said, her mouth full of karaage.

"Nothing," I said. "Just some imbeciles at some of the other tables who like to run their mouths too much."

Yotsuba swallowed. "Ah, gotcha. But Uesugi-san, you don't let them bother you right? "

"I'm a human, I have feelings. Of course it's going to get to me sometimes."

"Cheer up! I think you're interesting to talk to! So that's one imbecile's opinion to help start to counter their opinions!"

Despite myself, I smiled slightly.

"Thanks. You definitely are an idiot though - I've never seen anyone get a zero on a test before."

Yotsuba laughed sheepishly. "Well, I am what I am."

"Did you not study?"

"Well, somewhat. Maybe. A bit. Not at all, no."

I sighed. "Well, that would do it. If it's not multiple choice, you have no chance if you don't study - and if it is multiple choice, you'll just average somewhere in the 20s, which is a failing grade."

My lunch companion sighed. "You're right..."

Then, she perked up. "Will you study with me, Uesugi-san?"

Again, my initial reaction was to refuse her, just as I had her sister the day before last. But once again, something inside me just... refused to refuse. What's going on with me?

"Sure, that's fine. They say teaching is the best way to learn. Just make sure it doesn't interfere with my own studying, ok?"

This is a terrible idea.

"Yes, of course!"

Yotsuba seemed oddly cheery as she finished her food. I finished up my (limited) lunch as well, and packed up my things.

"Shall we meet after school then?" I ventured.

"Huh? Oh, sure! I haven't joined any clubs yet, so I'm free. Where would you recommend, my good sir?"

I mentally raised an eyebrow. "The library is my usual spot. Let's meet there about fifteen minutes after classes end for the day?"

Yotsuba gave a salute. "Roger that, Uesugi-sensei! Ah, I should let my sisters know I can't walk home with them today."

I'm going to regret this so much.

The afternoon passed by with relatively little incident, save for Itsuki continuing to glare at the back of my head. If anything, it almost felt like her ice-cold death stare was stronger than before. As the day drew to a close, I picked up my bag, and set forth for the library. While I claimed one of the tables near the back and splayed out my stuff, I heard the door open and close. Then, a big green bow popped around one of the bookshelves.

"There you are, Uesugi-san!"

Yotsuba sat down across from me, and pulled a notebook, a small novel, and a worksheet out of her bag.

"I'm going to be working on Japanese language arts. How about you?"

I glanced across my spread-out workspace like a king surveying his kingdom. "I think it'll be world history today."

"Oooh, fancy!"

I opened my notebook and got to studying. However, every five or ten minutes, Yotsuba would interrupt me with some question about Japanese grammar and literature. Her reading responses and her analyses of the assigned text weren't bad, per se - but severely unpolished.

A gem in the rough?

After about thirty minutes of this, I sighed, put aside my world history textbook (I wasn't particularly interested in the downfall of the Seleucid empire, to be frank), and drew closer my language arts book.

"Switching back and forth like this is going to ruin my work flow. I'll switch to language arts as well."

"Ah... sorry, Uesugi-san..."

Her bow wilted as she said this, and I felt a pang of regret.

"No, no, it's not your fault. It just doesn't make much sense for us to study together and not study the same thing."

Yotsuba perked up at that.

"Ah, ok. Sure!"

She then leaned over the table to look at my notebook.

"What's your class reading, Uesugi-san?"

I held the book up so that she could see the cover.

"Juhyou no Kisu?"

"It's a modern re-imagination of the Yuki-onna legend. It's very beautiful, but it goes a little overboard with the imagery at times. Nevertheless, I'm quite enjoying it, insofar as I can enjoy an assigned reading for school."

"Ah, I see! So it's a love story!"

I froze a little bit.

"Yes, it is."

"Hmm, I see, I see! So, what sort of questions did you need to answer?"

"The usual sort - how did the character feel? What was intended by the imagery invoked in the scene? Those types of questions."

Yotsuba cupped her chin in her hand like she was some sort of detective.

"And tell me, Uesugi-san, what were your answers to those questions?"

I suddenly felt a spark of discomfort.

"...Hang on. You weren't assigned the same reading, were you?"

Yotsuba laughed. "That would be cheating! I wouldn't do that." She flexed her bicep and put her hand on it. "Gotta achieve results with my own power, right?"

I sighed. I was suspicious over nothing. That was pretty rude of me, I guess.

"Sorry about that, Naka- hmmm."

"Hmmm?"

"Since Nakano Itsuki's in my class, it would be confusing to call you Nakano-san. I'm just going to call you Yotsuba."

Her face reddened slightly.

"Oh, ok."

There was a pause, and then Yotsuba seemed to decide to just plow on ahead.

"Anyways, Uesugi-san - my class was assigned a modern re-imagining of Urashima Tarou. So far, I don't like it very much, though I haven't read the whole thing. The fact he left his mother and father behind to go to the palace of the dragon king really bothers me. I haven't finished it yet, but of course I know the fairy tale. Something about leaving your family behind and trying to strike out on your own, only to turn around and find that they're not there anymore... it really makes me uncomfortable. I hope they changed the ending in this version..."

"I see. Did you express that discomfort in your answers?"

Yotsuba looked down at her written responses. "Now that you mention it... nope! Guess I didn't think of it! Hehehe..."

I sighed. "Write that down then, you idiot. That's gold for a literary response."

The two of us continued working together for about another hour or so, taking occasional short breaks to discuss what we were reading. After about an hour and a half of total study time, I got a text from Raiha telling me that dinner would be around six o'clock. I stretched, and then began packing up.

"Alright, we should probably call it there for today. I need to head home for dinner."

"Ah, wow, the time sure passed quickly! I haven't studied that long in a really long time."

"Yeah, that's the problem, Yotsuba."

"Well, I'll be in your care! Thanks for helping me study. Let's meet up again tomorrow!"

"That's fine," I said, zipping up my bag. "I come here every day to study. Though come to think of it, I probably need to pick up a job soon."

We left the library together and made our way to the footlockers by the front door. After we both changed our shoes, Yotsuba and I parted ways to head home. As I walked through the streets, I felt a strange smile on my face, which I'm sure looked horrendously creepy.

That was... surprisingly fun.

Notes:

"Juhyou no Kisu" = 樹氷のキス = Hoarfrost Kiss. Not a real book, as far as I know.

Chapter 3: Not All Things Last Forever

Chapter 3:

Not All Things Last Forever

Over the course of the following week, Yotsuba and I met up after school each day to study. The thing that struck me the most was how bad she was at most of her subjects, apart from language arts. Math especially -- her abilities were just dismal.

"You'd never actually learned what a variable was before now, had you?" I sighed.

"Nope! One day, I was just happily doing multiplication and division, and then boooooom! Suddenly there were English letters everywhere!"

"Ok, then let's start from the beginning I guess..."

I wasn't really tutoring her, per se. I probably spent about fifteen percent of the time she was there answering questions. Another ten percent or so was just... talking. The remaining seventy-five percent was productive studying, more or less.

The right balance.

I twirled my pencil in my hand, staring down at the question in front of me -- a somewhat tricky geometry problem.

There's no way things would be this easy if I had taken the job with the volleyball demon. She probably would have spent the whole time fighting me, and biting my head off.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me as Yotsuba cheered happily at having been able to solve a linear equation.

That tutoring job... it was offering five times the going rate, right?

I glanced over at the gleeful redhead.

...and there are five of them. Quintuplets.

Dawning horror.

I would have had to tutor all five of them. Probably all at once.

Living hell on earth.

I had definitely dodged a bullet there, even more-so than I had already believed.

"Hey, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said, confused. "Th-this question has two sets of equations for two variables. How do I solve it?!"

I sighed, and leaned over the table to teach Yotsuba about the magical world of variable substitution.

The next day, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up with a start. The apartment was still mostly dark save for the weak pre-dawn light filtering in through the window, and I could hear my dad snoring on the futon next to me. Raiha was splayed out on her own futon, her blanket no longer covering her. Clearly, she had rolled about in her sleep.

Despite the lack of light, I felt strangely wired. I sat up, and heaved Raiha's blanket over top of her, so that it covered her up properly. My brotherly duties complete I rose to my feet, and in the little light I had to work with I attempted to find clothes to get dressed. As I checked my phone, I saw that it was 5:03 am, a fact which explained the minute-by-minute strengthening of the sunlight coming under the window curtain.

I looked around the small apartment, and a sudden urge took me.

I want to go for a walk.

Finding a scrap of paper, I wrote a quick note explaining myself to Raiha, and stuck it to the fridge with a magnet. I then stepped outside, breathing in the crisp early-morning air.

At 5:07am, the streets were largely devoid of traffic, though some early commuters were beginning to take to the roads. I walked along the sidewalk near my house, and revelled in how calm and quiet it was. It was also a little chilly -- as expected of early September. Luckily, I'd checked the weather before leaving the apartment, and had brought a coat.

I walked for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably closer to twenty minutes. In my wanderings, I eventually stumbled across a small park which I had never been to before despite its relative proximity to my home. Naturally, it was empty, but I sat on the swing and pushed myself back and forth for a bit. The traffic on the street nearby had slowly but steadily increased since I had left -- perhaps a car every two or three minutes.

5:28 am. The world is still empty. Hmm, so this is what it's like.

I leaned back on the swing, supporting my upper body by holding onto the chains. The grey autumn sky, lit in a faint way like the light was afraid of the chill, was covered in clouds. A hrrum filled the air, as a motorcycle zoomed past in the distance. As it faded away, the whir of the motor descending with distance, the silence returned.

I swung like that for a while, enjoying the unusual experience. It was oddly relaxing, the rhythmic swaying. Forward. Back. Forward. Back. Eventually, I began to scrape my feet along the small stones below the swing, allaying my momentum. As I finally slowed to a halt, I pulled on the chains and forced myself to sit back up.

This was an enjoyable sort of loneliness. The kind that comes from knowing that you've found a space for yourself hidden in the wider world. This was different from the kind at school.

I got off the swing, and walked to the railing at the edge of the park. It had been built into the side of a hill, and looked out onto the houses below. A few of them showed signs of life -- a man was putting up laundry on a line outside one of them. One of the others had a woman leaving the front door with a pair of small dogs on leashes, perhaps for an early-morning walk.

Right. Time to head home.

The walk home was very different from the way out. The traffic on the road had picked up to a moderate pace as rush hour began. Commuters on their way to work -- or perhaps night workers on their way home. Each one was living their own lives, but each was awake and on the road. A hint of sadness prickled in my chest as it sunk in that the loneliness I'd found for myself was something that could only exist for a short while.

"What's the English word for it?" I mumbled to myself as I made my way back to our front door. "I learned it a few days ago..."

As I unlocked the door and stepped back inside, my dad was still loudly snoring, but Raiha was awake and already making breakfast.

"Oh, welcome back, Onii-chan. It's pretty unusual for you to get up so early! I'm making breakfast with some eggs and rice. Can you wake Dad up? I tried, but he keeps falling back asleep..."

"Yep, I'll wake him up. Just give me a second, I wanted to check something."

"Hmm? What's that?"

"Something in my notes..."

As I rummaged through my school things, looking for the keyring of English words that I used for review, Raiha made a face.

"It's too early in the morning for that, Onii-chan! No studying until after breakfast!"

"It's not for studying, I wanted to remember something."

"No study-bugging until after food!"

I sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll wake up Dad then."

"Good. Ahhhh, the onions are going to burn!"

As Raiha desperately took the onions out of the pan, I squatted next to my father, and shook him. At first, I got no response (save perhaps the snoring getting louder, which was suspicious in its own right), but as I persistently shook him, eventually he opened one eye with an annoyed look on his face.

"Listen here, kid, I'm trying to get some shut-eye! Let an old man sleep!"

"Get up, Dad. Raiha's making breakfast, and we need to move the futons to put the table out."

"Eh? Ugh, fine, fine. I'll deal with it if it's for food. What we having for breakfast?"

"Eggs!" called Raiha happily from the kitchen. "And also definitely-not-burned onions!"

"Those go together, yeah?" yawned my dad. "I don't want a steamin' hot pile of burned vegetables first thing in the morning. Our debt ain't bad enough to resort to eating that."

Raiha laughed. "I'm a better cook than that! Onii-chan just distracted me while I was cooking them and they got a lil' crispy!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll take the blame," I sighed. "Dad, help me move the futons."

The two of us rolled up the futons, stored them in the closet, and pulled out the table. A few minutes later, Raiha served scrambled eggs and rice with sautéed onions mixed in. There was miso soup on the side as well, which was delicious. As expected of my little sister. The scrambled eggs had some sort of sauce on them as well, which was sinking into the rice and giving it a great flavour.

"Ephemeral!" I yelled in English, suddenly slamming my hand down hard on the table.

Both my dad and my sister jumped about a mile high as I did this, and my dad had a sudden coughing fit as he swallowed rice down the wrong way. Raiha rushed over to help him with a glass of water, and eventually he recovered.

"E-fe-me-ra-ru?" Raiha said. "What are you talking about, Onii-chan? Why did you yell that?"

"Ah, sorry. I just finally remembered the word I wanted to look up when I was rooting through my stuff earlier -- you know, when you banished me to waking up Dad."

"Kid, you're gonna kill me," my dad said weakly.

"Sorry!"

After finishing breakfast, my dad took Raiha to her elementary school, and I left for my own journey to school. As I arrived, students pouring onto the school grounds, the cool autumn breeze reminded me of my early-morning jaunt.

Today's going to be a good day.

"Uesugi-san, good morning!"

I turned around to see Yotsuba waving, and the other four quintuplets getting out of a big black car. Itsuki looked pointedly away from me, while the sweater monster gave me a weirdly knowing smile. Yotsuba ran up to me, a little bit too close.

"Hey, did something good happen to you today, Uesugi-san? You've got a smile on your face."

"...A smile? What are you talking about, Yotsuba?"

"Normally, you've either got a kinda creepy smile on your face when you're thinking about studying, or you look kinda gloomy, but this is the first time I've seen such a nice smile on your face. I'm glad something good happened!"

"Nothing really happened." Wait, I have a creepy smile normally?

"Huh? Is that so. Well, anyways, I gotta go, but I'll see ya later!"

With that, Yotsuba ran back to her sisters, who started walking towards the school together. I made my way (separately) to the main doors, where I changed at my foot locker. There was a small mirror in my locker, since it was higher to the ground, and so I looked at my face.

Huh. I am smiling. That is unusual.

The first half of the day went by without much of note. Itsuki had mostly stopped drilling holes into the back of my skull with her eyes over the last week, though I occasionally turned around to find her staring at me. Apart from that, classes were the usual -- since I had already covered the material for myself, class time was just review time.

At lunch, I sat down at my usual table in the corner of the cafeteria, with my usual lunch, and my usual study notes. As I was about halfway through my ringed flashcards, I heard the chair across from me scrape back, and somebody sit down.

"Hey, Yotsuba, good timing--"

I looked up as I was speaking, and then stopped.

It wasn't Yotsuba.

The quintuplet across from me had two small bows in her waist-length hair, but it was the expression on her face that clearly set her apart from Yotsuba. The look of sheer disdain was simply one that I couldn't imagine ever crossing the face of my new study companion.

"...Can I help you?"

The girl leaned forward with her arms forming a steeple on the table from where her elbows rested, their intersection supporting her chin. She stared directly at me without saying a word. This uncomfortable situation lasted for about a minute, and then I coughed.

"Like, I said, can I help y--"

"Uesugi Fuutarou... was it?"

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I can't help but notice how close you've been getting with my sister."

I rolled my eyes. "You're going to need to be more specific than that."

I saw the corner of the redhead's eye twitch.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You and Yotsuba have been having little dates in the library every school day for the past week. She's been skipping out on walking home with us."

"Ah, I see," I said, looking back down at my notes. "They're called study sessions. They're quite normal for students, you know."

"Hey! Don't ignore me!"

I looked back up at the quintuplet across from me. "Look, I don't even know your name. Will you just tell me what you want?"

"I wanted to see what kind of guy had seduced our dear Yotsuba. Geez, you're as much of a jerk as Itsuki said you are -- I thought she was exaggerating. I don't know what she sees in you."

What the hell has the volleyball demon been saying about me?

"I see. Just a reminder, you're the one who came and confronted me. I don't really need to sit here and be judged by you."

"I'm never going to give Yotsuba to a gloomy loner jerk like you!"

The quint across the table raised her voice when she said this, and the tables around us suddenly turned to look at her. A deep crimson red crossed her face, and she sank down in the chair a little bit.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my hand. "What exactly do you mean by 'give' in this context?"

She leaned forward across the table. "Huh? Isn't it obvious? Love! You obviously like her, don't try and hide it."

I gave her an absolutely withering look, filled with as much disdain as I could muster -- hopefully, it at least managed to match what I was feeling.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Love is the furthest removed thing possible from academics. Lovesick high schoolers who ignore their studies will just peak in their teens -- I have absolutely no interest in the subject."

The interloper seemed taken aback.

"I... uh... good! Good!! Then you'll leave Yotsuba alone!"

I looked at her like she was an idiot.

"I just said I have no interest in Yotsuba in that way. I'm only interested in studying with her -- but that means I am interested in studying with her. I'm not going to stop just because her sister, who didn't even bother to introduce herself, tries to stop me."

There was a pause. Then...

"...Nakano Nino."

"What?"

"My name is Nakano Nino. There, I introduced myself. Ugh, you're such a jerk! Why does she even like studying with you? It sounds like such a drag."

I looked back down at my notes as she stood back up.

"Thanks for your valuable opinion, Nino. I'll keep it in mind the next time I feel like questioning my entire self-worth."

"I don't remember giving you permission to call me by my first name."

"I don't remember asking for it. There are five of you -- I'm not calling you all 'Nakano-san'."

With a huff, Nino stormed away. Once she was gone, I sighed, and put my head down on the desk.

Well, that went well. These sisters are a royal pain in the ass. I hope this doesn't end with all of them hating my guts.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a bit of a blur, but my euphoria from the morning was entirely gone. In addition to that sense of loss, Itsuki's once-subsided bone-drilling gaze had returned full force, and had evolved into a bone-drilling glare. Clearly, Nino had reported back to her sisters about our little conversation, and Itsuki was not pleased.

"Well, that's her problem," I muttered to myself.

At the end of the day, I made my way to the library, and sat down to begin studying. A small ball of anxiety had built up in my chest during the day as our study session had approached, a strange feeling that I wasn't sure I understood. What, exactly, was I nervous about?

Ah. I get it. I'm worried Yotsuba is going to be mad at me for what I said to her sister. Or maybe she won't even show up.

The ball of anxiety got a little bit bigger.

Maybe she decided that I'm too much of a jerk to her sisters for her to study with me? I mean I can't really blame her for that. I can be a bit... blunt. If someone was a jerk to Raiha, I'd probably be angry at them too. Ugh, this is stressful -- why do I even care?

I glared down at my notes.

I was fine studying by myself a week ago. I'll be fine studying by myself from now on as well. It's no big deal.

Suddenly, the door to the library slid open and shut, and then Yotsuba walked out from the bookshelves and over to the desk.

"Afternoon, Uesugi-saaaaan! Sorry I couldn't join you for lunch, Nino said she wanted to talk to you and insisted that I go have lunch with everyone else. Man, after eating lunch with you for a week, I kinda forgot how much Itsuki orders!"

She came.

"It's all good," I said, the ball of anxiety slowly unravelling in my chest as the redhead laughed. Yotsuba settled down into the chair across from me, and pulled out a science textbook.

She doesn't seem mad. If anything, she seems... happier than usual?

"Hey, Uesugi-san, I'm having a bit of trouble understanding Newton's third law. It seems to make sense at first glance, but then I got to thinking about it some more after we learned about Coulomb's law, and now it doesn't make sense anymore!"

What a weird girl.

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, sure. What seems to be the issue?"

We continued on in our usual fashion for about twenty-five minutes, which was about as long as I was able to last before the remnants of the ball of anxiety compelled me to act.

"By the way, Yotsuba?"

"Ahhhhh, one second Uesugi-san. I'm so close to solving this problem. Ugh, why does physics have to use maaaath? Stupid Coulomb's law..."

I waited for about a minute, and then she raised her fist in triumph, pencil tightly enclosed therein.

"HAHA! Victory! Alright, what's up, Uesugi-san?"

"I was just wondering... did Nino tell you what we talked about during lunch?"

"Yep!" Yotsuba grinned. "What was it she said? 'Love is the furthest removed thing possible from academics'?"

"Huh, so she did tell you."

"C'mon, Uesugi-san! Love is important too! You're in the springtime of your youth -- you need to enjoy it! Studying is important, but so is romance!"

With this, Yotsuba splayed herself forward on the table, stretching her arms out to their full extent. She sighed with pleasure as she extended her joints.

"Right. I think I'll pass, thanks," I said dryly. "My future depends on grades, not love."

Yotsuba sighed. "Oh well. Do what you want. I want to fall in love some day, though."

She looked up at me. "Oh, that reminds me. She also said that you were pretty mean to her, so you should probably apologize at some point, Uesugi-san. She was pretty upset about it -- though I think she and Itsuki bonded a bit over talking about how much of a jerk you are, which was a little weird, to be honest."

"Ah, great. A growing coalition of Nakano sisters out for my blood. Hooray."

Yotsuba laughed. "Have no fear, Uesugi-san! I'll stand by your side, I'll be your knight in shining armour! They won't get one litre while I'm around!"

"That's... a really low bar to clear. There are only about five litres of blood in the whole human body..."

"Hahaha! Whoops, unintentional quint joke!"

As Yotsuba chortled at her own humour, I felt most of the remnants of the ball of anxiety slip away. She's not mad. It's fine. It's fine . Stop worrying.

I found myself smiling slightly at the cheerful girl in front of me. I took my reference book, and gently bonked her on the head with it.

"Come on, 'knight in shining armour', you still have at least ten more electrostatics questions to do."

"Awww, Uesugi-san. Fine."

Yotsuba huffed, but she was still smiling. We got back to work, and the rest of the time sped by in a flash. By the time I got an email from Raiha about dinner, it was already getting close to six o'clock. My study partner let out a yawn, and stretched in her seat.

"Man, this took a lot out of me! I feel like I'm already getting better though. Thanks for letting me study with you, Uesugi-san."

Something about the way she said that seemed... unusual somehow. Like she was smiling a little bit too much compared to just improving at her studies.

"Hey, Yotsuba, did something good happen to you today or something? You've got a smile plastered all over your face."

"Nah, nothing really happened. Well, there was one thing that happened that made me happy."

"Is that so? What was it?"

Yotsuba just grinned at me.

"Hmm, I wonder...?"

I sighed. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

She playfully stuck her tongue out at me, and then we both packed up our things. As we made our way to the foot lockers, I wanted to ask her if she thought I was a jerk as well, like Itsuki and Nino, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to ask, those last shreds of anxiety weaving together to sew my mouth shut. Energy seemed to just well forth from her at a constant rate, and talking to her seemed to require no work at all. I couldn't bring myself to break the mood.

As we set out on our separate ways -- I leaving directly, and Yotsuba waiting for a taxi -- the sun was setting in the distance, giving the street around me a reddish tinge. The roads were quiet, the rush hour home from work having ended about an hour prior. Only the occasional car whizzed by as I walked down the sidewalk. In a sense, the silence of the morning had returned... but it had a different flavour to it, somehow. It lacked the same sense of other-worldliness.

I glanced back the way I came. Yotsuba's taxi had come and gone, and where the girl had been standing in the far distance was only the school entrance.

...Ephemeral, was it?

 

 

 

 

Chapter 4: Operation Twintail

Chapter 4:

Operation Twintail

A few days later, I was running late for school (at least by my standards), having stayed up studying far too late into the night. The sunlight, which has been so comforting during my secret jaunt to the park earlier in the week, seemed harsh and unforgiving as it beat down on me from above. Its overwhelming presence, by which I meant existence, led to my simply craving somewhere dark to sleep. My head was pounding, and I almost felt like I was experiencing some type of sensory overload.

Is this what a hangover is like? I'm never going to drink.

I pulled up to my footlocker, and swung it open to change my footwear. Even that seemed to require an amount of energy that was approaching the limits of what I could provide. As I was putting my outdoor shoes away however, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and spun around to see Ichika standing behind me with her hand raised.

Ugh, it's the sweater monster. This is the last thing I need right now.

"Why do I feel like you just thought something really rude about me?" she asked me, her smile never wavering.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Can I help you, Ichika?"

"Hey, you remembered my name! Good, good. Yeah, I need to talk with you."

I made a 'go on' gesture.

"Not here. Also, I want Yotsuba involved too. Can I join you in the library after school today? I promise to not get in the way of the... academics."

This is going to be a pain.

I sighed. "Fine. We usually meet about fifteen minutes after classes let out."

"Gotcha. I'll be there, Fuutarou-kun."

She gave me a wink, and then sauntered away, her hands clasped behind her back as she walked. I watched her go, and then shook my head, trying to clear away the cobwebs induced by my lack of sleep.

Something must be up.

When I entered my classroom, I glanced at the chalkboard, and my heart sank. The people on cleaning duty today were...

Me and the volleyball demon. Great. I'm sure this will go fantastically well.

As I began to walk to my desk, I could hear my classmates whispering amongst themselves. I distinctly heard the phrases 'poor Nakano-san' and 'gloomy loner'. I was also pretty sure I heard somebody say something significantly less complimentary about me, the details of which I was thankful to be able to only partially hear.

I tried to block them out -- there wasn't much else I could do. This had been the norm for the last year and change, ever since I'd arrived at this high school. For some reason, my classmates had collectively decided that because I prioritized studying over inane socialization, I was someone to be despised, or at the very least begrudgingly ignored. Normally, I would simply ignore their words as the asinine blathering of the ignorant masses... but my sleep deprivation had weakened my normally iron-tight emotional control. Their words managed to slide through the narrow chinks in my armour, and stung significantly more than I would care to admit.

I sat down at my desk and pulled out my schedule. First period was math, and then we had physical education after that. I glanced up to see Itsuki enter the room, have essentially the same reaction I did at the chalkboard notice, and then mopily make her way to her desk. As she sat down, I was watching her, and so for the first time in a week, we made actual eye contact.

I gave her a nod, and then turned back to the front of the room. As I was turning, I saw her scowl in response.

Great. Even more negativity.

I sighed, and slouched down on my desk.

I need a nap.

Unfortunately, sleep was impossible: I wasn't the sort of student who could allow myself to snooze through a lecture. Drearily, I recorded more notes on the topic of the day -- we were still on trigonometric identities? -- and idly wondered what Ichika intended to talk to us about.

Before I knew it, the class had been let out, and we all made our way to the changing rooms for our physical education class. As I got dressed, I absent-mindedly rubbed the spot on the back of my head where Itsuki had bombarded me with a volleyball the week prior. It had pretty much entirely healed within a few days, but the indignity remained.

Maybe I just shouldn't sit next to the net this time, since her aim is that terrible...

Today, we were playing badminton, which meant that the boys and girls were playing singles together. The entire gymnasium had been lined up with nets, and each of us was handed a racquet and a birdie. The class was essentially set into one round-robin tournament, first to eleven points in each game being crowned the winner. The nets formed two lines, and so after each game, the player on the inside would rotate to the next court, after recording their win (or loss) with the teacher.

I didn't really hold much hope, not being the athletic type at all. However...

Her aim is so bad... maybe I can take a point off Itsuki, at least?

We started playing, and as expected, I got absolutely demolished. Within about five minutes, sweat was pouring down my face, and I had yet to take a point off any of my opponents, let alone win a game. With one of the girls in the class, I at least managed to have a few rallies that lasted at least a minute, but she always ended up winning them. By the time I was halfway around the circle, I was feeling deeply ambivalent about the whole ordeal -- I was doomed to failure anyways.

Then I arrived at Itsuki's court.

The redhead across from me seemed to be in about the same state I was in; maybe slightly better off, but not by much. Her face was flushed a deep red from the physical exertion, and she was still panting from the last bought.

"Uesugi."

Huh, she acknowledged me at least.

"Hey, Nakano-san. How goes the tournament for you? I'm getting absolutely battered," I said, my apathy regarding the whole thing making itself known in my voice.

"I've got one win so far, but everything else has been pretty bad."

She then stretched, and then held her racquet up towards me.

"I'm about to get my second though."

Given I was on the verge of sleep before we started this damn tournament, that's probably true.

I yawned, stifling it with my hand. "Bring it on, then."

For some reason, this seemed to inflame Itsuki, because she hit the birdie quite hard for her first serve. Unfortunately for her, she hit it pretty high in the air from her side serve, giving me ample time to manoeuvre to receive it. My return hit sent the birdie back over the net -- barely. As it dropped towards the hardwood floor, my opponent lunged forward, and just managed to hit the birdie back up into the air. As it rose, however, I rushed forward and slammed my racket down at the thing, intending to spike it into the floor on Itsuki's side of the net.

I intended to do that.

But I missed.

The birdie went up past my racket, up into the air, and then turned back around. It fell back towards the earth, and bonked me square on the head.

Then, it just... balanced there.

"Wha--"

Itsuki stared up at me, and then snorted.

"What the heck is that?!"

Without moving, I glanced upwards. Obviously, I couldn't see the birdie, but I could feel that it was balanced on its rounded tip on my head. I could feel my cheeks heat up slightly.

This is physically so unlikely. Balancing on the tip isn't a stable equilibrium point. How does that even happen!?

I sighed. "I have no clue what just happened, but it kinda hurt."

I then leaned forward, letting the birdie fall down and hit the floor -- I didn't trust myself to rally the thing from on top of my own head, plus it had been a contact foul anyways.

I picked the birdie up, and tossed it over the net.

"Your point, Nakano-san."

We continued in that fashion for another four rallies, each with Itsuki getting a point off of me, before I finally brought the score to 5-1. It was, in my opinion, a beautiful sequence -- I shot the birdie just over the net, Itsuki returned it, and I sent it right back to the far-left corner. She barely failed to make it in time.

Both of us were pouring sweat at this point though, and I was honestly feeling a bit faint. I took a deep breath, and then squared my shoulders.

Come on. I can't let the volleyball demon clobber me. I need to at least make some kind of a comeback here.

I swung my racket at the birdie for my serve and it sailed over the net: right into the racquet of Itsuki, who was in the front-inside corner of her square. She immediately diverted it towards the line on my side, and I needed to lunge to return it. I hit it too high, making it easy for Itsuki to position herself to strike.

However, I saw her squint, and then miss the swing.

5-2.

She tossed the birdie back over the net to me, clearly frustrated at the miss. "The light from the ceiling got in my eyes."

"I see."

She pouted. "It did!"

"I believe you."

She glared at me, and then huffily returned to her square. I got the sense that she didn't believe me.

I subsequently slowly managed to drag the score back to near-level terms, though she was able to get a few more points off me. It was 8-7 for her, and the person on the court to my left was already patiently waiting to come on -- but I wasn't about to give up.

I repeated the same procedure of arcing the birdie so that it was lost in the lights. Itsuki squinted at it, but then her eyes widened, and she slammed her racquet into it full-force. Unfortunately for her, she sacrificed some accuracy for that power, and so instead of slamming into the court, it slammed into my face.

I got knocked off balance, and fell to the court, the birdie flying in a beautiful recoiling arc in the air while surrounded by glittering sweat blasted off of my nose. As I reeled back and fell, all that crossed my mind was...

What a beautiful arc.

Then, after that,

Ah... she hit me again.

Then I hit the floor, and a second later, the birdie hit the ground too. Thud, clunk.

"O-Oh no! Uesugi-san, I'm sorry!"

I absent-mindedly stared up at the ceiling. Huh. The honourific is back.

I sat up, and gingerly felt my nose. There didn't seem to be any blood or anything like that -- it just stung a bit.

"I'm fine. Going for the contact foul, huh? Very underhanded of you, Nakano-san."

"That was not on purp-- wait, huh? Uh, I mean... yes! Yes, that is what I intended to do! You were foolish to challenge me, Uesugi!"

Aaaaand there it goes again. Also, why does she sound like a chuuni...?

I sighed, and got to my feet. After brushing myself off -- not that there was dust on the floor, the gym was practically spotless -- I picked up the birdie and approached the net to toss it over. As I got to the net, Itsuki whispered,

"Sorry..."

"It's fine. Just please refrain from giving me more sports injuries."

I tossed the birdie over, and Itsuki caught it out of the air. She had a somewhat upset look on her face that I couldn't quite read, but she made her way to her box, and waited for me to return to mine.

As the birdie went back and forth over the net, I was surprised at myself. While normally I was loathe to participate in sports at all, against Itsuki it was somehow... enjoyable. The friendly competition, exerting myself... I was having a significantly better time than I had expected.

She's fun to play against.

In the midst of my introspection, or perhaps because of it, I missed the birdie entirely, and it slammed into the court.

9-7.

As much fun as I may have been having, the game was rapidly leaving my reach.

The next rally went on for about a minute, before I finally managed to fake Itsuki out, reflecting her volley across the court and landing the birdie slightly within the white lines demarcating the in-bounds region.

9-8.

My next serve was beautifully executed, in my opinion, landing in the far corner of her box. She didn't stand a chance of making it there.

9-9.

My follow-up serve hit the top of the net, flipped over, and landed barely outside of the box. As she went to pick up the birdie, Itsuki smirked. Through my own folly, she had pushed me to the brink.

10-9.

Itsuki's serve was extremely well executed, but I barely managed to make it. The subsequent rally went on for well over a minute, before the redhead finally put the game away with a spike into the bottom-left corner of my side of the court, over a yard away from my outstretched racquet.

Final score. 11-9 Nakano.

As the birdie skittered away, I fell back onto the floor, and then laid down on my back, breathing heavily. I hadn't sweat this intensely in years. Looking over to the other side of the net, I could see that Itsuki was in a similar state -- staring up at the ceiling and looking like she was going to vomit from the sheer exertion.

The guy who was waiting to play her after me came and stood over me.

"So, uh... Uesugi-san... you gonna... move?"

"Give me a second, I'm dying here."

"...Right."

I forced myself up into a sitting position, and put my head between legs -- I'd read somewhere that this was a good recovery position after physical exertion. Then, my muscles screaming in protest, I stood up and staggered over to the net. Itsuki was still on the ground, her face looking quite pale. I ducked under the net, and then leaned over her. Her eyes focused on me, and I smirked down at her.

"Are you going to survive there, Nakano-san? Should I call an ambulance?"

"J-Jerk," she said, still breathing heavily.

I snorted, and then coughed into my elbow as my lungs complained. I then extended my hand. "Want help up?"

A moment of, I presume, conflict flickered across Itsuki's face, and then she grasped my extended hand, and I helped haul her to her feet. She seemed a little unsteady, so I held on for an extra second, and then let go.

"Good game, Nakano-san. I guess you got that win after all." I sighed. "I'm still winless. Oh well, such is the life of a wayward academic."

"I may not... be Yotsuba," she said, taking deep breaths between words, "but I'm more than enough... to handle you."

I mentally winced. Ouch. Fair, but ouch.

At that moment, the teacher blew their whistle, and called the period to an end. The guy who had been waiting to play started muttering obscenities to himself as he left with no game against the transfer student. The teacher announced that the tournament would continue in the next class, with the arrangements changed so that everyone got a chance to face everybody.

A bit unsteady on her feet, Itsuki made her way to the changing room, and I followed suit (to the men's. Not hers. Obviously.) after reporting my loss to the teacher, who gave me a somewhat disapproving look after taking a glance at my record. I took a quick shower, as I was absolutely drenched in sweat, and then changed back into my clothes.

It's a good thing physical education doesn't affect my grades.

The next two periods were a complete blur -- I had been absolutely shattered before destroying any and all remaining energy reserves in the match against Itsuki. While I was sure I didn't sleep, not a single word said in those classes remained in my active memory -- though my notes were, naturally perfect. The only thing I was vaguely aware of was the fact that Itsuki had begun drilling holes in the back of my skull again with her eyes. If I had to venture a guess, however, it seemed that it was less of a glare now. It seemed more... curious. The hostility was gone, or at the very least significantly reduced.

Somehow, that gave me a strange sense of hope. In between the softening of her gaze, and the fun we'd -- or at least, I'd -- had with our badminton game, there was some small part of me that wondered if there was an opportunity arising. A chance to overwrite our terrible start, and possibly achieve something at least approximating reconciliation.

I'd had... opportunities to make friends before, but I'd rapidly reached the point of always rejecting those opportunities. I'd learned quite quickly that those so-called friends -- acquaintances, really -- would soon grow frustrated with my predilection for studying, and lash out. The first few years after I'd begun to study in earnest, I'd had one or two people I occasionally spent time with -- but when those relationships fell apart, they had not been clean breaks.

Since then, I had been entirely alone.

Some small part of me, however, was slowly beginning to consider the possibility that there might be a path forward beyond Itsuki hating my guts. Perhaps she could turn out to be different from my previous acquaintances.

After all, her sister seems to be. That gives me hope.

When lunchtime finally arrived, I gingerly packed my books away, wincing as my muscles ached. My bag thrown back over my shoulder, I was beginning to leave the classroom when my eyes glanced over at the names written on the chalkboard.

I need to let Yotsuba and Ichika know that I'll be late for the study session this afternoon.

I absent-mindedly pulled my phone out of my pocket, and looked at my contacts.

Raiha and my dad. That was it.

Ugh, this is inconvenient. I'll need to go and actually track them down.

I made my way to the cafeteria, ordered my usual lunch, and then went and sat down at my usual table in the corner. I kept a studious eye out, and eventually I saw Ichika, Itsuki, Nino, and the fifth quintuplet that I hadn't met yet -- the headphones girl -- walk in with their food, and sit down together. I left my tray on my table and began heading over towards theirs, but then I saw Yotsuba enter as well. She spotted me, and walked over.

"Hey Uesugi! Hope you don't mind, but I'm planning to go sit with my sisters today. I've been kinda missing having lunch with them."

"Hmm? That's totally fine, you aren't obligated to sit with me or anything."

Then, an idea struck me. Let's kill two birds with one stone.

"Hey, Yotsuba, did Ichika talk to you about a meeting later today?"

Yotsuba nodded.

"Yep, she did. Something about a strategy meeting? She said that she wanted to meet after school during our study session."

...Strategy meeting? What does the sweater monster have planned?

"Ok, then that makes this easier. I'm going to be a bit later than usual, I have clean-up duty for the classroom today with your sister. Would you mind letting Ichika know, since you're having lunch with her?"

"Sure, but with my sister...? Oh right, Itsuki's in your class. Why so vague, Uesugi-san?"

I frowned. "I met her first, so I call her Nakano-san, but it feels weird calling her that around you."

Yotsuba laughed. "Then just call her Itsuki. You insisted on calling Nino by her name, what's the difference?"

"It just feels weird, given our current... antipathy."

"Antipathy? I don't really get it, but I guess call her whatever feels right to you. Anyways, I gotta go, Uesugi-san. I'll see you after school!"

With that, Yotsuba went to join her sisters, and I turned around and went back to my table. Luckily, nobody had stolen my miso soup, which I was sure was the hottest commodity in the school. After all, it only cost 200 yen. An irreplaceable deal!

I spent the lunch break studying, but I felt strangely like I was being watched the whole time. However, whenever I looked up, the tables around me weren't staring at me at all. Finally, as I finished my food and prepared to head back to class, I cast my gaze further afield. With that, I found the culprit. The girl with the headphones was blatantly staring at me from across the cafeteria, insofar as she could actually see me.

Is this staring thing genetic?!

I made direct eye-contact with her, but she unabashedly kept staring at me. I gave her a nod, and then stood up to leave. She seemed to almost absent-mindedly break the eye contact at that point to say something to Nino, who looked to be very passionately complaining about something. From Nino's reaction to the comment, it seemed like the headphone girl had told her to settle down. Looking slightly to the left of the bickering pair, I saw that Yotsuba had a fairly upset look on her face. Itsuki looked quite passionate as well, and was nodding repeatedly. I couldn't see Ichika's face.

Hopefully that discussion has nothing to do with me. I want to go home and sleep.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur, but my exhaustion was palpable at this point. At times, I even caught myself beginning to doze off. As the second-last period ended, I was pinching myself just to stay awake. With great regret, I decided that I needed to commit the ultimate cardinal sin -- spending money on food and drink outside of lunch hours.

They should probably make that the eighth deadly sin. In which case, call me a sinner, I guess.

I got up, and quickly left the classroom to go to the location of my saviour in these trying times. I made my way up a flight of stairs, and then there they were: a pair of vending machines, serving lightly caffeinated beverages for relatively low prices. Yet, nevertheless, relatively low prices were not, in and of themselves, low prices. I sighed. Sacrifices had to be made.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

As I put in the 350 yen to buy a caffeinated tea, I heard voices passing by on the floor below me, a small snippet of conversation filtering up the stairs.

"...Nino seems super adamant about it. This really could be a problem if we don't nip it in the bud soon. You know how impressionable Itsuki can be sometimes -- she just keeps going back and forth."

The sweater monster.

"You seem pretty invested in this, Ichika. Why are you going so far?"

A voice I don't recognize.

"Can't I just want my little sister to be happy? After all..."

The voices faded away, and I realized I had unconsciously pressed myself up against the vending machines. I pulled myself away from them, sighed, and then popped my drink open. As the cool tea entered my mouth, I could already feel my mind clearing, at least to an extent.

Ah yes, the sweet, sweet power of placebo.

As I lowered the can, a frown crossed my face. Now that I was thinking back on it, Itsuki's staring into the back of my head had felt a lot more glare-like than stare-like since lunch. The relative warmness that had entered into it after our badminton match seemed to have been extinguished, perhaps wiped out by whatever discussion had occurred at the quintuplets' table.

Somehow... it stung.

Relative warmness is, in and of itself, not warmness. Just like low prices. Don't mistake things, Uesugi Fuutarou. You've made this exact error before. Shape up.

I pressed my head against the cool glass of the vending machine, and sighed.

This is a royal pain in my ass. I don't want to have to deal with this.

I threw back my head and drank the entire rest of the tea in one sitting.

That was a 275 yen tea at best. I threw my soul away for this?!

I threw the can in the bin, and returned to the classroom for the final period, which was Japanese history. For the first time that day, I really was able to pay close attention as my teacher talked about various Sengoku era warlords. I kept my notes handy, but my reinvigorated ability to follow the lesson came with an unfortunate side-effect -- I was now keenly aware of the hostility radiating from Nakano Itsuki.

Ugh. If I hadn't overheard that conversation, I wouldn't even be thinking about this. Maybe you're imagining things. Maybe this whole situation is just in your head. It wouldn't be the first time you've misread a social situation. Let's not assume the worst.

I didn't believe my own reassurances, and silently mourned the possibility of a change in my circumstances that I had briefly envisioned that morning. My brooding was soon interrupted, however, by the ringing of the bell, signalling the end of the school day. As my classmates packed up their bags and broke out into individual conversations, I packed my bag as well, but remained seated. Finally, as they filtered out, the room was left empty save for myself and Nakano Itsuki.

I stood up, walked to the front of the room, and dropped my bag next to the podium.

"How would you like to divide up the cleaning duties, Nakano-san?"

Itsuki was still at the back of the room, and was pointedly not making eye contact with me.

Seriously?

"Nakano-san?"

She stood up.

"I don't care how we divide things."

"Excuse me...?"

"I said I don't care. Let's just get this over with."

"Alright, then..." I said, frowning. She seemed to be radiating even more hostility than usual. It was beginning to irritate me.

"The sooner we finish, the sooner I can get out of here, so that I don't have to see your face any longer than I have to," she spat.

I froze.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the fact that I'd foolishly allowed myself to entertain the possibility of reconciliation. Maybe it was the fact that I still had Ichika's overheard words echoing around in my head. Maybe it was even left-over anxiety from my encounter with Nino a few days prior.

Regardless, her words hurt. A lot.

The last moribund wisps of my hope of the morning were brutally extinguished. In their place was a slowly-growing rage.

Ok, you know what? I've put up with enough of this crap.

"Fine." I growled. "You know what? I'll take out the trash to the incinerator at the back, and then sort the recycling in the halls. You can do the desks and the chalkboards. If we do that, you can stay here, and I'll be out in the hallway. That way, you don't have to see my damn face for a damn second longer than you have to!"

I spat the last bit out with more venom than I'd intended, but perhaps with as much as I felt. With everything that had happened today, and over the last week -- and hell, over the last five years, something in me snapped.

Itsuki physically recoiled at my words, but I wasn't sure why -- how the hell did she think I would respond to that?

Not that I particularly cared what she thought.

I've had enough.

I walked over to the garbage bin in the room, pulled the bag out and tied it up. I then started for the door, pointedly not looking at her.

"Uesugi-san..."

"I don't care. Have the room to yourself," I growled, and pointedly closed the door behind me, leaving her in the empty classroom with wide eyes, her hand outstretched. Leaving -- fleeing, really -- I made my way out of the school to the incinerator out back, and as I did so, I could feel the anger and frustration coursing through me.

I don't think anything I ever did deserved that.

When I reached the incinerator, I tossed the heavy clear plastic bag into the bin. Something about just violently throwing the trash seemed to give a very slight sense of catharsis, like taking out frustrations on a punching bag.

I don't think I did anything to deserve any of this.

I stood in front of the incinerator for a few moments, and then looked around. There was a bench nearby, near a grouping of trees. I lowered myself onto the wooden slats, and took some deep breaths, attempting to calm myself back down, to try and centre myself, and recover my usual iron-tight emotional control. I looked up at the sky, listened to the birds chirping, felt the cool September wind on my face...

Calm down. Calm. Caaaaaaaalm. Who cares what she says? The only things that matter in life are getting the top score I can, and my family. The opinion of some girl I've barely spoken to doesn't matter. People have been saying crap like this to you for years. Besides, think about the good things that happened today! You almost won a sport! You got to try that fancy 350-yen tea! Talk about splurging , Uesugi Fuutarou! Wow!!

Yeah, as expected, it wasn't working. Also, even I knew that calling a 350 yen tea "fancy" unironically was pathetic.

Besides, that was exactly the problem -- people had been saying this crap to me for years, though never quite that directly. The fact that I put on a façade of imperturbability didn't take away from the fact that it was precisely that -- a façade. To hear the same vitriol I'd been hearing whispered by everyone else around me for years hurled directly at me from the mouth of a girl I'd essentially only just met: it felt like I was stuck in a vicious cycle, one from which I could never escape.

There was a deep, despairing sense of hopelessness that came along with that.

Not feeling better in the slightest, I returned inside the building, and navigated my way back to the classroom. As I emptied the recycling bins that were in the hall into a single bag, I heard the sound of erasers being smacked together inside the room, presumably near the window. I also thought I heard a sniffling sound from inside, but I wasn't sure.

I didn't look.

The recycling depot was on the other end of the school, which gave me a long walk to kill time. Once I finally got there, I meticulously sorted everything, making sure that every single piece of recyclable trash was in the correct bin. Finally, satisfied that the job was done, I slowly made my way back to the classroom, hoping against hope that I had spent enough time meandering to ensure that Itsuki wouldn't still be there when I got back.

As I walked, I could feel the anger starting to dissipate as I continued to take deep breaths, forcing my heart rate to lower. As it slowly diffused away, the vacuum that remained was just a deep sense of emptiness.

I almost felt... numb.

When I returned, I couldn't hear any movement inside. I opened the door, and Itsuki was gone. The chairs were on top of the desks, and the chalkboard was clean.

Well, mostly clean. There was one small word written in the bottom-right corner of the chalkboard.

Sorry.

"Yeah, that's not going to cut it," I muttered to myself, a brief spark of irritation flaring up before flickering out again.

Finally alone in the room, I picked up my school-bag that I had deposited next to the podium, went back to my seat, and returned the chair to the floor. I slowly sank into it, and stared out the window at the birds flitting from tree, to tree, to tree. My bag slowly lowered to the floor, and I watched the branches sway outside, and the sounds of stragglers heading home.

The anger was fully gone now, and all that remained was this deep, suffocating sense of hopelessness. A sense that I was doomed to repeat this process over and over and over again for the rest of my life. I just felt completely and utterly numb -- and the emotional vulnerability caused by the sleep deprivation wasn't helping.

Then, suddenly, it felt like something cracked inside of me. Five years worth of isolation, five years of rejection, it all fought against the iron control of my will, and like steel girders rusted through, that will creaked and groaned, and then buckled, and then gave way against the insurmountable force pressing against it.

The vacuum, which moments before had contained only numbness, seemed to suddenly fill with emotion, and I felt the pressure build up, like a river that had been dammed, and had finally found free passage. Though just a small hole, the explosive power behind its containment provided an unstoppable current.

"Why does this always happen?" I murmured.

And then slowly, against my will, violently, the dam burst, flooding the plains below.

Fifteen minutes later, I opened the door to the library and made my way inside. I could hear Yotsuba's laughter and the smooth voice of the sweater monster inside. For a moment, part of me hesitated... and then I stepped out of the bookshelves and into the study area.

"Oh, Uesugi-san, there you are! I was just telling Ichika about this amazi... Eh?! Uesugi-san? Are you ok? Your eyes are all red and puffy."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, my voice slightly cracking. "Just got some dust from the chalkboard in them. Don't worry about it."

Neither of them looked like they bought it.

"Sorry, guys. I think I need to go home today. My apologies for making you wait like this, Ichika. You too, Yotsuba."

I then turned around, and started leaving the library as quickly as I could. However, I didn't quite make it.

I heard the scrape of a chair, and then I suddenly felt a firm grip on my wrist, stopping me from leaving.

"Uesugi-san."

I turned around, and saw that Yotsuba had come and grabbed me. She was staring up at me with a visibly distraught look on her face, her bow wilted over like spoiled onions.

"Don't go. There's obviously something wrong. I know we haven't known each other that long, but... please talk to me. I want to hear it."

I stared at her for a long while -- it felt like hours, but was probably only a few seconds. Then, numbly, I nodded. Yotsuba led me back to the table, and I sat down between her and Ichika, as opposed to across the table from them. Something in the back of my brain noted that I should be embarrassed to be in such close physical proximity to them... but I was honestly too exhausted to care.

Wait, did I ever care about that?

"So, Fuutarou-kun," Ichika said from her seat, "How about you tell us what happened?"

For once, she seemed sincere. I took a deep breath, and then leaned back in the seat, my head bent back and staring at the ceiling. Above us, the fluorescent lights burned themselves into my eyes, but I wasn't really looking at them at all.

I'm not really sure how to explain this. I don't really want to admit that I haven't had any friends in almost half a decade. I'm... not sure I have much choice though.

Then I sighed, and began talking.

"When Nakano-san and... uh, sorry. When Itsuki and I first met -- I guess about ten days ago now? -- we got off to a rough start. She was... insensitive, and you know how I am as well. I said some pretty rude things to her. The next day, I apologized after she whacked me in the head with a volleyball, but she didn't really accept it. I got the sense she wanted to patch things up, though. I missed part of the class because of being in the infirmary, and she offered to share her notes with me. They were kind of useless though, to be honest. Completely wrong."

At this, Ichika snorted, then put her hand over her mouth. I rolled my head to the side to look up at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, sorry. Please continue."

"Anyways, I pointed out that I couldn't use them, and she got upset again -- which, looking back, was probably a bit tactless of me. I think it was meant as some kind of peace offering."

I rolled my head back to stare up at the lights above me. "Then she embarrassed herself in front of me in the library that day while you were here, Ichika, and I think that really put the nail in the coffin for her. Since then, she's been just constantly staring at the back of my head in class, glaring at me whenever I make eye contact with her, and just pointedly avoiding me.

"Then, I get confronted by Nino a few days ago, and I find out Itsuki's been badmouthing me behind my back. Fine, whatever, I get it -- Nino's her sister, she's allowed to express her feelings to her. However, since that day, I've been getting intermittent glares at my back all the time. Then, finally, today I thought things got better..."

I held my hand up straight, admiring the way the light seemed to almost shine through parts of my fingers, illuminating them in red.

Stop getting distracted by physics, Fuutarou.

"We had a gym class today, and Itsuki and I had an amazing match of badminton with each other. I... had a lot of fun. I thought she did too. I really started to feel some hope that... maybe we could make amends. I... wanted that."

Ichika and Yotsuba were both silent, waiting for me to continue -- but it took me a few seconds to feel like I could really get the words out.

"I've been mostly alone for the last few years: at least since starting high school, but before that as well. That doesn't normally bother me -- or at least, I try not to let it -- because it's something I chose for myself. There's always some hope of that changing, of course... but I have things I can't compromise on, and our classmates are... not exactly the most intelligent, to put it mildly. Having that hope though... that's dangerous. You get burned."

There was another silence, and I glanced at both of their faces. Ichika's face was impossible to read, as usual. Yotsuba's was pretty simple to read though -- she was just listening. I was somewhat relieved to not see pity on her face.

"Anyways, after you guys had lunch together, she seemed really upset. Her desk was just a source of pure malice. I didn't really understand what changed -- though to be honest, I didn't really even notice the difference until near the end of the day.

"Anyways, I was on cleaning duty with her today... and that hope I had got completely snuffed out, once and for all. I asked her how she wanted to divvy up the cleaning duties, and she announced that she didn't care how we divided things up, she just wanted to get it done as quickly as possible so that she didn't, and I quote, 'have to see my face anymore'. I think that was just the straw that broke the camel's back -- I got really, really angry, and essentially stormed out of the place to do the garbage and the recycling."

There was a pause, and then Ichika prompted, "...and?"

"Then, a while later... I came here," I finished lamely.

I sat up, and stared at the narrow sets of windows that ran along the top of the wall of the library to let in natural light. I hadn't really vocalized the extent to which Itsuki's words had hurt -- to be frank, I wasn't totally sure I understood it myself yet. On the surface, I'd certainly had significantly worse things said about me before now. The effect it'd had frightened me -- some part of me was scared of feeling that sense of hopelessness that had briefly consumed me again. I didn't like the places that seemed to lead; murky caves whose depths I most sincerely did not wish to explore.

It must be the accumulation, not the triggering event, I decided . That's the only thing that makes sense. Like a convergent perturbative series, where each little contribution leads to a whole which is by no means tiny.

Somehow, I wasn't satisfied with that answer. Nevertheless, after having verbalized things... I felt significantly better.

After my words, there was silence for a few moments, and then finally Ichika let out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry, Fuutarou-kun. I think this may have been partially my fault."

I turned to look at her in shock. "Wait... what? How?"

Ichika shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. "Since your... shall we say, confrontation with Nino a few days ago, if you get brought up she get really annoyed. Not in the genuinely upset kind of way, but in the funny, "this really grinds my gears" kind of way. You know? So Yotsuba mentioned to me that you were going to be late for our meeting, and that set Nino off a little bit, and I... kind of decided to wind her up a bit more, because I thought it would be funny."

Yotsuba frowned on the other side of me. "That's a really bad habit of yours, Ichika."

She shrugged helplessly. "In my defence, it was hilarious."

That's a terrible defence. Also, as I thought, it was about me.

"...and?" I ventured. "How does this translate to Itsuki biting my head off?"

Ichika sighed, and leaned forward onto her crossed arms on the table.

"Nino's not really mad at you: if anything, I think she kind of liked the fact that you were sassing her, though she'll never admit it. More importantly though -- and this is going to sound bad, now that I think about it -- she just doesn't really care about her relationship with you. Itsuki, on the other hand, I think has a lot more complicated feelings, and so when Nino starts ranting about how much a jerk you are, I think it affects her a lot; it reminds her of the times you were a jerk, and it sways her in that direction. You said there was a big shift after lunch -- that's probably why. And that makes it my fault, for winding Nino up."

I pondered it for a moment. "Yeah, come to think of it, I guess it does."

Ichika winced, then smiled resignedly. "Here I thought you would try and comfort me, and tell me I didn't do anything wrong."

I stared at her blankly. "What about my personality ever made you think I would do something like that?"

From behind me, I heard Yotsuba snort, and then start cackling. Ignoring her, I continued.

"You did do something wrong. I guess I could have lied and said you didn't -- there are, after all, times when honesty isn't the best course of action... but I don't think this is one of them. If you know that your actions had consequences and hurt other people, you probably won't do them again."

Then I sighed, and lowered my head to the table.

"Not that I have any room to criticize you, though. This whole thing has been riddled with my missteps."

Ugh, human relationships are hard.

Then a thought occurred to me, and I turned my head to look at Yotsuba, who gave a little start as we made eye contact.

"That reminds me, Yotsuba. You looked really upset during lunch. Are you ok? What was that about?"

"H-Huh? Me? Why would you ask about that? You're the one we're trying to comfort right now, Uesugi-san!"

I raised an eyebrow at her, and then she placed her hand on her heart.

"I'm afraid I can't answer you, Uesugi-san! You see, I plead the fifth!"

I rolled my eyes. "You can't plead the fifth, Yotsuba, you're Japanese."

A look of genuine shock crossed over her face. "Wait, I can't? Does that mean I've gotta squeal?"

I sat up and shook my head. Despite myself, a small smile slipped out onto my face.

"Idiot. You listened to me, I can listen to you."

Yotsuba grinned widely. "Hey, I got you to smile. That's a win in my books!"

Then her face dropped into a blank stare. "I'll never talk, officer. You'll have to kill me first!"

I sighed, and gently bonked her on the head. "You fool."

She laughed, and then leaned back in her chair to make eye-contact with Ichika on the other side of me. "You proud of me, Ichika? Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Not-Sad' is a success!"

"What kind of operation name is that?" Ichika asked. "Though it does look like it worked, so I'll give you some credit for that, Yotsuba. Good job."

As the two chattered on, I noted that Yotsuba had avoided actually answering my question. I decided to let it go -- if she didn't want to tell me, presumably there was a good reason for it. I didn't particularly feel like pushing the matter, anyways. After everything that had happened today, I was just absolutely emotionally exhausted. All I really wanted to do was go home and curl up in my futon.

"By the way, Ichika," I said, interrupting their discussion. "You called us here for a reason, correct?"

"Ah, right," Ichika said. "Actually, I called you here, but it was Yotsuba's idea originally. We've been talking about this for the last couple of days, and I figured it was time to take action, so I decided to call a strategy meeting."

I turned to look at Yotsuba. She looked a little... embarrassed?

"Hey, the strategy meeting was all you! Uh... well, basically, Uesugi-san... I just thought that it would be great if you and my sisters got along more. I want them to see how great you are, and for you to see how great they are! It... makes me sad that it seems like you guys fight a lot. I thought resolving the conflicts might be a little difficult by myself though, so I asked Ichika for help."

I silently turned back to Ichika, and raised an eyebrow.

"So, anyways, that's why I called you here," Ichika said. "The timing was just an unfortunate accident. Yotsuba wanted you to get along with Itsuki and Nino, and I want my sister to be happy, so I'll help with this dilemma."

Then she winked at me. "Besides, you're an... interesting guy. I'm happy to help."

"Uh huh..."

I have absolutely no idea how to take that.

I turned back to Yotsuba. "So, what do you want me to do? Most of the time, Itsuki's picking a fight with me, not the other way around, and Nino's issue with me is that I spend time with you. What's your resolution?"

Yotsuba laughed nervously. "I hadn't fully figured that part out yet. That's why this is a strategy meeting! Strategy! You don't have a strategy meeting when you've already figured out the strategy, that would be a strategy notice!"

She then coughed. "A-hem! Anyways, I hereby declare Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Friends-With-Itsuki-And-Nino' in motion. Hear ye, hear ye!"

I stared blankly at her. Somehow this went from me getting along with them to us being friends...

"Operation 'Make-Me-Friends-With-Itsuki-And-Nino'? That's the second laziest operation name I've heard all day."

Yotsuba tilted her head. "What was the laziest? Also, please don't change the name of the operation like that! You've gotta say the full thing!"

"Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Not-Sad' was, somehow, even lazier."

Yotsuba pouted. "I spent a lot of time thinking up that name!"

...what were the rejected candidates, then?!

Ichika then piped up. "The name doesn't really matter, the strategy is what matters. There's a secret to dealing with Itsuki and Nino... well, really to dealing with all of us, actually. I'll tell you if you're a good boy, Fuutarou-kun."

I turned to look at her, intrigued.

"Really? Excellent, that would be a huge help!"

Ichika seemed a bit caught off guard by my sudden burst of straight-forward enthusiasm, but then her smile returned. Having captured my attention, Ichika lazily stretched her arm up into the air, pulling on it with her other arm. She sighed with pleasure, and then turned back to me, taking her time to speak.

"We're not just quintuplets, after all. We're individual people too. So, the approach you have to take for each of us is different. With Nino, you have to be as strong as she is -- good job on that, by the way. She'll come around on her own, I'm not really worried about her, except for the knock-on effect on Itsuki. With Itsuki herself though... you need to be gentle and kind. If you embarrass her or hurt her, she'll hide away her pain, and cry in secret. She's sensitive in that regard, but she's too proud and stubborn to ever acknowledge it to your face. If you think a little bit more about what you say to her, and honestly apologize... I think things are salvageable. It may take a while, though."

She lowered her arm, and made direct eye-contact with me.

"I think she probably wanted to be your friend, and then felt like she was rejected. That probably stung a bit, but if it'd been just that, she'd have gotten over it. It wasn't though; then, she embarrassed herself in front of you, and then you rejected her help in front of the class, and then you overheard her admitting weakness to me, and that probably just added insult to injury. Things have just been ambiguous since then -- it's no wonder they're only getting worse.

"You have to be gentle, Fuutarou-kun. Gentle."

Then she winked at me. "Oh, and you should be gentle with me too."

I ignored the remark at the end, and thought back on my previous encounters with Itsuki. She... wanted to be my friend, huh? Could have fooled me. But maybe... maybe she has as much trouble with people as I do? Maybe that was her bumbling attempt to connect to me. And I... certainly was not gentle.

I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as I realized Ichika was still talking.

"Right, so that's Itsuki, Nino, and me. For Miku... well, it's not really relevant, come to think of it, but I guess I'll tell you: there just needs to be some connection there. As long as she finds you interesting, she'll talk to you. She's pretty hard to read though, that girl, so I'm not sure how you would do that. As for Yotsuba--"

"Shiiii! Shiii! Don't give my secrets away, Ichika!" interrupted a panicked Yotsuba. "Uesugi-san is doing just fine on his own!"

The older sister laughed. "Fine, fine. Suit yourself, keep your secrets. Anyways, back to Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Friends-Wi... look, Yotsuba, I'm sorry, the name is way too much of a mouthful."

Yotsuba pouted again. "I liked it... you guys are just Naming-Things philistines."

If that's something I can be a philistine at, then I'm happy to be a philistine.

"How about 'Operation Twintail'?" Ichika said. "I know they don't have twintails, but both of them have double hair accessories they wear -- plus it adds a little bit of misdirection to the name. Very cloak-and-dagger."

I nodded. "I like it."

"B-but... Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Friends-With-Itsuki-And-Nino'... ugh, fine. I guess I'll live with it," Yotsuba said.

Then, she pointed a finger at me mock-accusingly.

"You'd better live up to the name 'Operation Twintail' though, mister! I wanna see every effort from you!"

I sighed. "I'll do my best."

"Good!"

"Alright, so," Ichika said. "Now down to brass tacks."

She leaned over the table so she could see both of us easily.

"Here's how we're gonna do this thing." 

Notes:

This chapter has been pretty heavily edited several months after originally posting it, adding about 1500 words compared to the original version. None of the core plot points have been altered, but I added a lot more context for the events, making the reasons for Fuutarou's breakdown a lot more transparent. The previous version made it seem as though it was just Itsuki that caused it -- but my intention was always for it to have been a "straw that broke the camel's back" sort of situation, rather than him just reacting to her. I think (I hope?) it's more clear now.

Chapter 5: It's Rude to Eavesdrop

Chapter 5:

It's Rude to Eavesdrop

After the strategy meeting had ended, Ichika excused herself, claiming that social studies made her sleepy. The rest of the afternoon was just myself and Yotsuba learning about Sengoku-era warlords. After Ichika left, I also briefly excused myself to go wash my face and clear my head after the conversation. When I got back, Yotsuba had her books out, but seemed to be having trouble focusing.

"You know," she said absently a few minute later, flipping a page. "I think I had a video game about these guys at some point. Maybe I gave it to Miku...?"

"While that's certainly an... interesting way to learn history, it doesn't replace studying from a textbook," I responded. "What was the plot of the game?"

Yotsuba scrunched up her face. "Something about taking over areas and expanding territory? I don't really play many video games anymore, but I think it was some kind of game where you moved units on each turn and then they fought each other. Actually, now that I think about it, that's not a plot, that's a game mechanic. I don't remember, sorry! I also don't remember what it was called..."

I shrugged. "That's fine. I only know video games that came out over five years ago anyways. I haven't played any that came out since then. Actually... I don't think I've played any since then at all, even the older ones. They just don't interest me that much -- if I'm playing games, I could be studying."

I then returned to reading my textbook, using the eraser-tipped end of my pencil as a marker for my spot on the page. It allowed me to process the text more efficiently, a technique I'd picked up from a reference book on studying methods a few years ago.

Yotsuba was quiet for a minute, and then asked, "Did something happen five years ago that made you stop playing video games?"

"Yes."

"...Can I ask what it was?"

"No," I responded absent-mindedly, flipping the page. "I don't really want to talk about it, sorry."

I read the textbook for a few more minutes, and then realized Yotsuba was being strangely silent. I glanced up, and saw that she had her nose buried deep in her own book -- but from what I could see of her face, she was displaying a... confusing expression. Her eyes seemed a bit wider than usual, almost like she had a... panicked look on her face?

Reading expressions is hard. Make easier-to-read faces!

"Uh, are you ok there Yotsuba?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh? O-Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it Uesugi-san! I was just a bit lost in thought."

As Yotsuba laughed it off, I felt a slight sense that something was awry, but I dismissed it. I don't think I know her well enough yet to be able to read things like that. It's probably in my head.

"Ah! This part kind of confuses me..."

The rest of the afternoon proceeded as usual, and by the end I was certain I had just been imagining things. Yotsuba was just her usual, cheery self. Any hint of panic or worry was gone from her face.

I was probably just projecting because of the conversation we had with Ichika. Don't overthink things, Fuutarou -- you'll just get yourself into trouble that way.

We finished up for the day, and then went our separate ways after leaving the school. The journey home passed in a blur -- I was on autopilot the whole way, not processing a single thing around me. When I finally got home, Raiha was in the middle of cooking dinner, so I put my school things away and began setting the table. Once I'd finished, Raiha served up a nice stirfry, Chinese style, for all three of us. As I ate, I thought about the strategy for Operation Twintail that we had decided upon for the next few days.

Back off for a while, and then get her alone to talk. That's an... interesting strategy, Ichika. Makes me feel creepy, though.

I put some more food in my mouth, savouring the umami flavours.

If I just ignore her, though... won't I put her off even more? She strikes me as the type of person who would take a cold shoulder really harshly. Should I just trust what Ichika says? She does know her sister a lot better than I do...

I sighed.

Mind you, it's important to handle your own relationships -- as I told the sweater monster repeatedly. So I should definitely take this into my own hands.

I tapped my chopsticks against my bowl.

Come to think of it, she's put some serious thought into how to help me with this. Even if it was at Yotsuba's behest, I should probably stop thinking of her as something as rude as "sweater monster". More like "sweater vixen" or something. Or maybe I should just stop calling her names in my head. Her name is Ichika, not "sweater monster", so--

"Onii-chan!"

I started, accidentally dropping my chopsticks on the table.

"Eh? Raiha, you scared me! What's wrong?"

She dramatically pointed her chopsticks at me.

"That's what's wrong! Dinner time is family time! You should eat your food and talk to your family, not hide in your own head and think about stuff! You've had a look on your face all meal long like your brain was on another planet! What's going on with you?!"

My dad nodded sagely. "She's right, Fuutarou. You look like you're having an existential crisis. Lighten up when you're eating food!"

I frowned. "I'm not having an existential crisis, I just had an extremely unpleasant day at school, and it led to there being a lot on my mind. I'm just weighing my options and trying to decide my best course of action."

"No decision-making while you eat! You can do that after. I'm sorry you had a bad day, but right now, you need to spend time with us!"

Raiha gestured wildly with her chopsticks as she said this, and a bit of rice was flung off and landed directly on my forehead, where it promptly stuck. I pulled it off, sighed, and popped it in my mouth.

"Fine, fine, I get it. Please stop flinging rice at me."

"Oniiiii-chan, that was an accident!"

"I get it. Stop accidentally flinging rice at me."

Raiha frowned. "How do you stop doing accidental things?"

Yeah, that's what I'd like to know too, Raiha! How am I supposed to be gentle when I don't even realize I'm pissing Itsuki off until later?

"You're doing it again! Stop inner monologuing at the dinner table!"

"Raiha, where did you learn the word monologue?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I made eye-contact with my dad, and he just shrugged.

"Eh? It's what villains do in anime, right? They go on a long speech about their plans and then while they're talking, the heroes ruin their plans. That's a monologue, right?"

"I mean... you're not wrong, that is a monologue... wait, were you calling me a villain?"

"Ack! No, that's not what I meant, Onii-chan! Well, I mean, you do have some villainous tendencies like sometimes having a creepy smile or the way you say love is for the deluded or--"

"Ok, stop! Stop! I don't want to hear anymore." I said. "Man, hearing your own little sister call you a villain is a little much..."

"No, I said that's not what I meant!!"

Despite myself, I found myself laughing, and it almost felt like the afternoon's typhoon of emotions were forgotten, like floodwaters that had finally begun to recede. After dinner, I got some more studying done, but in light of my mental state throughout the day due to lack of sleep, I called it a night relatively early, and in fact ended up passing out even before Raiha.

The next day when I arrived at school, I coincidentally arrived at the same time as the quintuplets. They pulled up in a black car of foreign make. For a moment, I could feel myself nerding out over it, but I thankfully recognized the thing from when I'd seen them in the morning at the beginning of the week. Otherwise, I definitely would have tried to get a closer look.

They get driven to school in a big foreign car, huh? They're rich rich.

As they all got out, Yotsuba saw me and ran over.

"Morning, Uesugi-san! How are you feeling today?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine. I think I was a bit sleep deprived yesterday, but now I'm in full control of my faculties. Shouldn't be any problems."

"Eh? That's a good thing... I think?"

I looked at her coolly. "Indubitably."

Yotsuba perked up when I said that. "Oh, indeed, good sir! 'Twas but a mishap that your path may have briefly strayed from the righteous way of studying, but no longer! No longer. My good fellow, good day to you indeed, and may the winds of fortune be ever in your favour!"

Then she started snickering.

I rolled my eyes. "Idiot. I'm just focused on making sure the operation gets pulled off properly. This whole situation is a massive pain in the ass I don't need, so I want to make sure it gets resolved as quickly as possible so I can get back to studying in peace."

"Indubitably, my good sir, indubitably!"

Against my will, a smile cracked on my face.

"Oh, shut up. Will I see you at lunch, or are you eating with your sisters?"

"I figured I'd have lunch with them for a few more days; especially to make sure things are going alright with the operation. I'll still join you after school though!"

"What's this about an operation?"

We both turned around to see Nino looking at us suspiciously.

"Ehh? Ehh?! I-It's nothing, Nino! I have no idea what you're talking about!" Yotsuba spluttered.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Wow, you're a terrible liar, Yotsuba. That's a useful data point to store away for later."

I then turned to look at Nino. "It's rude to eavesdrop, you know."

Her face reddened a little. "It's not my fault -- you two are acting all lovey-dovey in front of the gate and standing in my way! It makes me a little sick, you know."

Yotsuba's eyes widened and a slight blush crept across her face, but I just rolled my eyes. "You already know my feelings on that -- you're just trying to get a rise out of me, right? I regret to inform you that you'll have better luck trying other methods."

Nino gritted her teeth with a tch.

Nail on the head, huh?

"Anyways, I'm coming through here. Yotsuba, are you coming? Or are you gonna walk with him?"

"I'm coming! See you later, Uesugi-san!"

Yotsuba trotted off after her sister, and Itsuki and the rd-haired headphone girl (Miku, was it?) followed suit. Itsuki paused for a moment as she passed me, but I purposely didn't make eye-contact with her, and after a second, she left after her sisters.

"She's going to be a bit of a tough cookie to handle, but she feels badly about what happened -- I can tell."

I glanced to my side to see Ichika standing next to me, looking after her sisters with a slightly sad look on her face.

"Is that the power of the eldest sister? Or is that just because she's easy to read?"

Ichika turned back to look at me, and a smile appeared on her face as she did so.

"I can't go and reveal my secrets to you like that, can I Fuutarou-kun? Otherwise, you wouldn't need me, now would you?"

"...Do I need you?"

Ichika winced, but I immediately followed up.

"I don't need your help -- I can handle my own relationships. However, that doesn't mean I don't want it. I appreciate the help you've given me, even if it was for Yotsuba's sake and not mine."

Ichika's wince turned into a smile. "Wow, unfair, Fuutarou-kun."

I turned to her, a confused look on my face. "Unfair?"

"That was a deep cut followed by sudden gratification. Geez, I'm getting emotional whiplash here. Just what sort of play do you think I'm in to?!"

"Wha-- play?!"

Ichika laughed, winked at me, and then took off after her sisters, leaving me standing there momentarily dumbfounded.

"That girl loves teasing people, doesn't she," I eventually muttered to myself, and then made my own way into the school.

I changed my footwear, and then walked up to the classroom. When I got there, Itsuki was sitting at her desk talking with one of our female classmates, who's name I, for the life of me, could not remember. She didn't seem to notice my entry, so I just quietly made my way to my desk, and then pulled out my schedule.

Hmm... We have science first, huh?

I pulled out the requisite materials, and was continuing to get set up when I heard my name faintly from somewhere in the room. Almost involuntarily, I perked up. Then I realized the direction it had come from, and I feigned indifference. Itsuki had mentioned me while in discussion with the classmate, and I'd merely picked up on that.

I'm sure she's just trash-talking me.

Nevertheless, my curiosity got the better of me, and I strained my ears to try and pick out her words from amidst the hustle and bustle in the room before class started, while still facing forward so as not to be caught.

"No, sorry -- we've never really talked, so I don't know anything about what he would like. Why do you need to apologize to that gloomy loner, anyways?"

"Ah, well, I just did something uncalled for, so I thought I'd apologize. Nevermind, thanks anyways Komichi-san. I'll think of something else."

"Alright, suit yourself... Ah, looks like he's here now, so you may want to not talk about this at the moment. Sorry I couldn't be of more help, Nakano-san."

"All good. I'll lend you my notes from yesterday at lunch, ok? It looks like the class is about to start."

"You're a lifesaver, Nakano-san!"

As their conversation ended, I felt a stab of guilt at eavesdropping, especially after having told off Nino for doing the same thing -- but in some small part of me, there was also a little bit of pleasure in knowing that Itsuki wasn't completely nonchalant about this either.

If I need to be running myself dogged over how to make this work, it seems only fair that she have at least a little discomfort on her end too.

I thought I felt her gaze turn onto me, but in accordance with the plan, I didn't turn around to check. Instead, I leaned back in my chair, and mentally began to review what would be covered in the lesson that day, at least according to my prior reading of the textbook.

The first half of the schoolday went by quite quickly after that, and before I knew it, it was lunchtime. I packed up my bags, and glanced over to see that Itsuki was again in conversation with the girl from before, this time showing her notes. I grimaced to myself.

Hopefully they're not completely wrong this time!

Given what our classmate had said about me, I didn't particularly feel like saving her if they were, so I just left. At lunch, I sat alone and studied in my usual spot. However, I could see the quintuplets from where I was, regardless of whether I wanted to or not. They seemed to be having a somewhat more subdued conversation this time, presumably because Ichika had decided to not purposely wind Nino up. From what I could see (not that I was looking too closely), they seemed to be mostly talking to Itsuki, who seemed distraught. Once again, I couldn't see Ichika's face, since she had her back turned to me.

The girl with the headphones caught my gaze, and I hurriedly returned to my notes.

Oh god, the staring is infectious, isn't it? Itsuki's gotten me. This is a serious medical condition!

I chuckled to myself at that, and then cursed as I got the English word "orthogonal" wrong in my review. I got a few more words into my flashcards, when I felt a presence looming over me. I glanced up to see Yotsuba standing in front of the table.

"Hey, Yotsuba. What's up?"

"Uesugi-san," she said, "I had... drumroll please... an idea!"

"Wow, very impressive," I said drily. "What's the idea?"

"Today's Friday, so during the weekend Operation Twintail is kind of necessarily on hold."

I blinked, not really seeing the point. "...Yes?"

"I'm worried, though, that if we take the pressure off Itsuki for two days, she'll decide to just accept the situation as-is. We gotta make it so she wants to accept your apology!"

"That... seems like a reasonable point... I guess?"

"So!"

"...So?"

Yotsuba slammed her hands down on the table.

"Do you want to come study at our place sometime on the weekend? It'll kill two birds with one stone! We can do some extra studying and it'll make Operation Twintail a success!"

Why does it feel like there's some kind of ulterior motive here?

"I don't see a problem with that. All I need to do--"

I suddenly remembered what had happened this morning, and looked around to make sure that Nino wasn't within eavesdropping range. Luckily, the four other quints were all still at their table.

"All I need to do is just ignore Itsuki while I'm there, right? That's not hard."

Yotsuba frowned. "I don't really like the whole 'ignoring Itsuki' thing. Wouldn't it be easier to just tell her you want to make up, and be honest with her? She might be proud, but if you're persistent you'll get through to her."

She's probably right.

I sighed. "I'm going to go with Ichika's idea for now, but I might change my mind at some point. Ultimately, this is between Itsuki and myself -- I don't need to be beholden to the plan. For the moment, however, it seems as though it's the best approach."

I paused for a moment to think, then said. "All right, let's do it. How does Saturday work for you?"

"That works! Great, sounds good! I'll get some snacks and then we can really get into it!"

She started to walk away, but then stopped, and turned back around.

"Oh, if you're coming over, I should probably be able to communicate with you. Do you want to share contact info?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure. That seems reasonable."

I pulled out my phone, and we exchanged contact information. Yotsuba then made her way back to her sisters, a noticeable skip in her step. I watched her go, and then looked down at my phone.

My dad. Raiha. And now... Nakano Yotsuba.

Despite myself, a small smile crept onto my face. Then I put the phone away, and continued drilling English words.

Then my phone buzzed inside my pocket.

Curious, I pulled it out and looked at the screen. I didn't have a touchscreen phone, since they were far too expensive. Instead, I still remained in the age of physical buttons with which to dial. However, I was still able to send texts and emails -- and on my screen blinked the notification that I had an email.

I opened it up.

"From: [email protected]

Subject: Testing!

Testing! Testing! Calling all Uesugi-sans to see if their phones work!"

I sighed, and then typed a response.

"Yes, it works."

A few moments later, I got another buzz.

"From: [email protected]

Subject: re: re: Testing!

Shi shi shi. Your email address is 'GeniusFutarou'? You are a genius, and you are Fuutarou, so I guess that makes sense! Somebody's a little cocky though!"

I grimaced, and put my phone away without responding. I looked across the room to see Yotsuba grinning at me.

Yeah, I'm not dignifying that with an answer. I worked hard to deserve that email address.

Feeling a slight sense of satisfaction at her acknowledging my genius, I went back to my studying. Then, a minute later, my phone buzzed. Annoyed, I pulled it out and checked it.

"From: [email protected]

Subject: Don't ignore me! :(

<Email Body Blank>"

I rolled my eyes, and then responded, "You wanted to sit with your sisters today -- don't ignore them to text me."

I sent the message, and then watched her look at her phone, look back up at me a little guiltily, and nod. I nodded back, and then put my phone away, and got back to studying.

During the rest of the afternoon, I got the occasional email from Yotsuba, who seemed to be relishing the fact that she could regularly badger me. Despite the fact that the buzzing was throwing off my workflow, I had to admit that it was a bit nice to have the constant communication.

<Uesugi-san! What sort of snacks should I get for tomorrow?>

<Don't email in class. We can figure it out this afternoon.>

<Roger!>

<I said don't email in class...>

<But Uesugi-san, you're emailing in class as well!>

<...Touché.>

 

After classes let out, I quickly left the classroom and made my way to the library. Itsuki had been stealing glances at me all afternoon, but they were all stares and no glares. I felt her gaze on my back as I left the room. I hadn't made eye-contact with her once throughout the whole day -- which, given I wasn't totally sure I was over my feelings from the previous day, made my life a lot easier.

Yotsuba and I met in the library, and she immediately delved into the arcane subject of snack selection.

"I've got to let you know, Yotsuba, I'm happy either way. I've got a poor man's palette, so I have no clue what's good and what's bad."

"Ehehehe! Then leave the selection to me! I'll make sure we get only the most premium of study snacks."

"Right. Sounds good, I leave it in your capable hands."

Yotsuba beamed at this.

"By the way, did you tell your sisters I was going to be coming? I don't want them to think I'm stalking you or something by showing up unannounced."

"That's... a weirdly specific fear, Uesugi-san. Don't worry, I told them at lunch. Nino wasn't too happy, but she'll get over it."

"Did Itsuki say anything about it?"

"She seemed oddly alright with it. She just said something about retreating to her room."

That... doesn't sound like she's alright with it, but whatever you say.

"Oh, Ichika won't be there by the way. She said she has work tomorrow afternoon, but to tell you 'good luck, and do your best'."

"That's nice of her. I'll have to take those words to heart."

"Ho-ho! Uesugi-san can be sincere sometimes too! 'Tis a sight to warm my eyes!"

I rolled my eyes. "What does that even mean? Is my sincerity setting your eyes on fire?"

Yotsuba clutched at her face in mock-agony. "Ahhh, Uesugi-san! My eyes! They buuuuurn! How could you incinerate them like that?!"

Dead-panning, I said, "Don't worry, we'll get you a new pair off of Amazon for 1300 yen."

Yotsuba peeked through her hands, horrified.

"Eh? EH?! You can get eyes off of Amazon? Wait, my eyes are only worth 1300 yen?!"

We stared at each other for a few moments, and then finally I cracked, and we both started snickering.

"Ok, enough fooling around; let's get to studying."

We spent the remainder of the afternoon studying English. It had already gotten quite late when my phone suddenly buzzed. Confused, I looked at Yotsuba, but she didn't have her phone out. I pulled it out, and saw that it was my usual text from Raiha telling me to come home.

Oh, right. My phone buzzes for reasons besides Yotsuba digitally poking me.

I put my phone away, and after alerting Yotsuba, we both packed up and left. I reached home about twenty minutes later, and Raiha had made a vegetable curry.

"I'm looking forward to the weekend!" she exclaimed, as we ate together. "The next episode of my favourite anime comes out tomorrow, and there was a huuuuge cliffhanger! I need to know if Pretty Sailor Magical Girl gets out of this ok!"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," I said. "This show has been going on for twenty-five years, they're not going to kill off the flagship character."

Raiha pouted at me. "Don't ruin the suspense, Onii-chan!"

"Sorry, sorry."

I took a big bite of my curry, and then swallowed. "I'm actually going to be out of the house for a good portion of the day tomorrow, so if they kill off the character, let me know ok? I'll comfort you when I get back."

My dad raised his glass of water to his mouth. "Going to study at the library?"

"No, I'm going to study at a friend's house."

My dad did a spit-take, and then started coughing.

"Dad! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he wheezed. "You're going to a friend's house?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, maybe more like an acquaintance? We've been studying together after school for the last couple of weeks, and we decided to study together over the weekend."

"I... see." My dad said carefully. "So, you found another person who studies as much as you, huh? I guess... birds of a feather?"

"Actually, she's terrible at studying, but it's still fun to help her with things, so--"

"They're a girl? Onii-chan is going to a girl's house tomorrow?!" Raiha yelled.

"I... guess so? It's not like we're going to be alone there."

I turned back to my dad, and was shocked to see that he had mild tears in his eyes.

"My son... he's grown up so much. He's finally acknowledging the power of love!"

"No, I'm not. I just want to study. Please don't make this out to be anything it isn't."

Raiha climbed over and hugged my arm. "I'm so proud of you for finding a girl who'll spend her weekend with you, Onii-chan! Go get her!"

"This is making me distinctly uncomfortable. Can we change the subject please?"

With some persuading, I finally managed to get my dad and sister to drop the topic of my friend who was a girl, and dinner ended uneventfully after that. I spent the next few hours studying, interrupted occasionally only by the buzzing of emails from Yotsuba informing me of the various things she was prepping for the next day. She also sent me a message with her address, and how to get there.

As I got ready to go to bed, I finally got one last email from her.

<I'm excited for tomorrow!>

I looked at my phone for a long moment, contemplating. Then, with a slight smile on my face, I typed my response.

<Me too.>

 

Chapter 6: The Place Where The Magic Happens

Notes:

I've gone back and edited the first five chapters to provide some quality-of-life improvements (fixing typos, small inconsistencies, etc).

Originally, this chapter and chapter 7 were one chapter, but it was getting way too long, so I split them into two. As such, the next chapter should be out quite quickly!

Chapter 6:

The Place Where The Magic Happens

I woke up bright and early on Saturday morning, feeling oddly excited for the coming day. While I viewed most weekend recreational activities with disdain, studying with a friend was hardly something that could be classified in that malignant category.

A friend... or an acquaintance? I'm not totally sure what the right term is for what Yotsuba and I have. Things are even more fraught when I consider my relationship with her sisters. Humans are complicated...

My school things packed in my bag, I left after a very small breakfast. The route to Yotsuba's place was straightforward, but a bit of an arduous journey by foot. I caught a bus, and noted with mild interest that the direct route took me right by the park to which I'd wandered earlier in the week. The bus was fairly crowded even at this time in the morning, so I huddled up with my bag in my lap, and reviewed English vocabulary from my flashcards.

"Ordinal... ordinal... that sounds like cardinal. I wonder if there's any relationship between the words?"

Before I knew it, I was at the appropriate bus stop, and I hastily pushed the button to signal that I wanted to get off. I stepped down from the bus via the back door, and looked around me for the address Yotsuba had given me.

"Where is it... where is it... ah! Ah... it's... the tall one."

I stared up at the giant building in front of me, with a sign saying "Pentagon" on it.

"I forgot... they're rich rich."

I sighed, and then made my way to the front door. Looking down at the instructions Yotsuba had e-mailed me, I tentatively walked over to the device to the right of the door - I thought it was maybe an intercom system? - and input the apartment number I had been sent.

There was a moment of anxiety that riddled me as the intercom made a dialing sound, and then a familiar voice picked up and said, "Hello?"

"Uh, hi. This is Uesugi..."

"Ah, Uesugi-san! Wow, you're super prompt! I'll ring you in. Just take the elevator up to the thirtieth floor, and come on in."

The line went dead, and with a bzzzt, the large glass door slowly swung open. I hurriedly made my way inside, and was flabbergasted by the grandeur of the lobby. The floor was marble, there were nice light fixtures on the walls, and the ceiling had a distinct lack of water damage. I rushed into the elevator - I was overwhelmed.

The elevator didn't help.

The lobby had been fancy enough, but even the floor of the elevator was marble. As I pressed the button for the thirtieth floor and began to rise, my discomfort was palpable. It also didn't help that the elevator was slow. For a solid minute, I stood in place as the metal box rose. An intrusive thought about the cable supporting me snapping pushed itself into my head, and it was only with great difficulty that I forced it out.

Ding.

The door opened, and I stepped out to find myself in a carpeted hallway. Wandering the halls, I eventually reached a door which had "Nakano" emblazoned on it in what I could only presume was solid gold - not that my untrained pauper eyes could tell the difference.

I slowly opened the door, and was greeted to the sight of a cavernous apartment. The far left wall was entirely made of glass, with a terrace overlooking the city. The right-hand wall was made up of a large kitchen, and the central area had a lounge-like arrangement of couches and a coffee table. Behind those were a table, presumably for meals, and a bookshelf. At the far end of the room appeared to be stairs leading up to a second floor, though I couldn't see what was at the top from my vantage point.

What drew my attention, however, was the green-bowed redhead sitting on one of the couches and waving at me.

"Hey, Uesugi-san! Welcome, welcome! Come on in!"

I took my shoes and coat off, and made my way into the room, exerting every ounce of self-control I had to stop myself from ogling the apartment. As I sat down on the other couch, an errant thought crossed my mind.

I'm pretty sure that balcony is larger than our entire apartment...

Yotsuba looked me up and down, and tut-tut'd, a sound I'd never heard her make before.

"You're wearing our school uniform on the weekend, Uesugi-san? The weekends are for casual clothes! Gotta let loose and-"

Suddenly, she paused, and a pensive look came over her face.

"Actually, I just imagined you in a t-shirt and jeans, and something felt really off about it. Nevermind, Uesugi-san, forget I said anything. The school uniform suits you."

"Uh... thanks? I think?"

Yotsuba was wearing a huge blue sweatshirt with "428" written on it, and jean shorts. Despite the fact I'd only ever seen her in school uniform, the look felt like it suited my mental image of her.

"Oh! I guess I should give you a tour of the place. But first!"

Yotsuba stood up, and then spread her arms dramatically.

"Behold! The snacks!"

For the first time, I noticed that the coffee table had numerous bowls and plates on it, though with room on it purposely carved out for studying. There were various crackers and chocolates, as well as vegetables and dips, some of which I didn't even recognize. All-in-all, it looked like all the brain food one could possible hope for.

"Well done, Private Yotsuba. Full marks on snack acquisition," I said, nodding my head. I can give her a compliment on this, at least. She really did go all out, just like she said she would.

"Eh? Private Yotsuba? Why am I so low-ranked? I thought after a display like this I'd at least be Corporal Yotsuba!"

I shook my head.

"Alas, in order to be promoted to corporal, you'll need to pass a written exam, not just make a superior snack spread."

Yotsuba sighed. "Ugh, I'll never be a corporal then. My dreams are dead in the dirt! Curse you, military bureaucracy!"

I took one of the pretzels, and dipped it in a savoury-looking beige spread. I took a bite, and then raised an eyebrow.

"This is delicious... what is it?"

"That's a pretzel."

"No, the dip."

"Ohhhh. It's called hummus, it's a Middle Eastern spread. Our dad went on a trip to Jordan for a medical conference and brought some back for us. I really liked it, so I've been getting it ever since. Turns out you can just pick it up at the supermarket!"

I nodded thoughtfully, then dipped another pretzel in a different dip, this one green. "...and this one?"

"That's guacamole. It's basically smashed up avocados."

I sat back on the couch, mildly dazed. "My eyes have been opened to a wide world of snacking that I didn't even think was possible."

These are some real rich people dips, huh?

Yotsuba had an extremely smug expression on her face.

"Indeed! I am the master of spreads and snacks. I told you to leave it to me! Hehehe..."

Then she walked out from amongst the couches, and beckoned for me to follow.

"It's time for Yotsuba's patented super special house tour! Attendance is obligatory, no refunds are available. Please, no photography."

I snorted, and then got up to follow her.

"This is the kitchen, which is, as they say, where the magic happens! Though by "the magic" they mean dinner, and by "happens", they mean Nino cooks it. Over here is our bathroom, should you require the facilities. The balcony is over this way... whoa, it's pretty windy today! Maybe don't go out there until it calms down a little bit."

The bathroom is also bigger than our apartment...

"Oh, and the last step on the tour - the stairs!"

Yotsuba led me to the bottom of the stairs, which went up to a second floor that essentially just comprised a landing running along the length of the interior wall. There were five doors along the second floor; one immediately to the left of the steps, and then the remaining four along the wall.

"I'm not gonna actually take you up there, because that's where our bedrooms are, but our rooms are numbered! Ichika is in the room right next to the stairs, and then it's Nino, Miku, me, and finally Itsuki."

"That seems... methodical," I said, not really knowing how to respond to that.

"Indeed it is, my good sir, indeed it is! We can't go up there right now though, because Nino, Miku, and Itsuki are all hiding out in their rooms, and two out of those three don't particularly want to see you."

Yotsuba sighed, and then mournfully looked up at the doors.

"Hopefully they come around. I think it would be so much fun to just hang out and study, all of us together."

I shrugged, slightly uncomfortable. "Well, maybe one day. That is the point of Operation Twintail after all."

Assuming, of course, that Itsuki and Nino don't kill me first. If Itsuki had a knife, though, I'd be more worried about the person next to me...

"Anyways, that's my incredible tour! Please, hold your applause!"

I politely applauded anyways.

"Argh, Uesugi-san, what did I just say? You're gonna make me blush! Alas, this poor woman wasn't cut out for show biz - I can't handle the fame! Anyways, shall we get to studying?"

"Yes," I said gratefully. Anything to distract me from the fact that two rich girls who hate me are lurking on the second floor waiting to strike. This is way more stressful than I thought it would be.

The two of us settled down in prepared spots amongst the snack spread, and began to get to work. I was on the couch facing the huge television that was fastened to the wall to the right of the front door, and Yotsuba was on the floor opposite me. Since we had the whole day to study, we started with Yotsuba's strongest subject, Japanese language arts. Both of us had progressed further into our respective assigned readings, and needed to complete analyses of the plots as they stood.

While my analysis was, obviously, perfect, it was somewhat fun to bounce ideas off of Yotsuba, and see what she thought. Though her answers were unpolished, there was occasionally a small emotional insight that I hadn't considered. Her grammar, however, was simply not on the same level as mine - her kanji knowledge was also, frankly, abysmal.

I was starting to feel a little smug in my superiority when I suddenly heard the sound of a door opening from the second floor, and I felt my blood run cold. All thoughts of superior kanji knowledge left my head.

Oh no. They're coming. The moment of truth has arrived.

There were footsteps down the stairs behind me, coming around the back of the couches, and...

...into the kitchen?

"Morning, Miku!" chirped Yotsuba. "Glad to see you're finally awake!"

Awake? Ah, they're probably all still asleep then, not hiding. Which means... they'll probably still come down soon.

I felt vaguely like a man awaiting his execution.

Miku stifled a large yawn, and then said, "...'Finally' awake? Yotsuba, it's nine in the morning on a weekend. It's still pretty early. The thing that's weird is that you guys made plans to start studying at eight a.m. on a Saturday."

I guess we did start somewhat early... maybe we should keep the volume down.

Yotsuba turned to me in shock.

"Wait, are we the weird ones, Uesugi-san?!"

I gave her a cool look. "You're definitely a weird one."

"Ah! Betrayal! Betrayal! Shame upon you, Uesugi-san! Shame for a thousand years!"

I chuckled, and Yotsuba broke into a grin.

"Hey, Miku, do you want to join us?" she asked.

"Not to study, no, but I'm definitely taking some of those snacks."

The headphone-less girl sat down on the second couch that faced the window, and helped herself to some of the crackers. She was wearing blue pyjamas, making it clear that she had just woken up. Her hair was a bit of a mess, but she didn't seem to particularly care.

"So," she said quietly, after finishing up her snack. "You're the Uesugi Fuutarou I've heard so much about, huh?"

"Yes, that's me. Nice to actually meet you."

"Likewise."

She seems nice.

As we got back to studying, Miku sat there silently munching on the snacks (which were technically her breakfast), and watching us work and occasionally chat. About twenty minutes late, a timer on Yotsuba's phone went off, and she stretched.

"Alright, Japanese time is uuuuuup!"

"What did we have planned next again?" I mused. "Was it social studies?"

"I think so," Yotsuba groaned, stretching her back muscles. "Man, you don't realize how bad your posture is until you study for a few hours. I need to work on that! Don't wanna get stiff!"

Miku stole a few more chips and dipped them in the hummus. She then stared at me as I pulled out my textbook, munching on her snacks.

"You know," she said, licking the spread off her fingers after she'd finished, "you're not really like how Nino or Itsuki said you were at all."

I sighed. "I don't know what those two have been saying about me, but they've got a really bad impression of me. Itsuki's is mostly my own fault, but Nino's just... sort of happened?"

I turned to Yotsuba, pondering.

"What does Nino say about me, anyways?"

Yotsuba grimaced. "You... probably don't wanna know, Uesugi-san."

I winced. "That bad, huh?"

"I haven't heard you make a single evil laugh since you got here," Miku commented. "Also, you haven't said a single rude thing to me. You did to Yotsuba, I guess, but that felt more like a joke than you actually being mean."

I swung back to Miku.

"I- wait, hang on. I don't do evil laughs."

Then I turned back to Yotsuba.

"I don't... do I?"

Yotsuba frowned. "Not that I've heard... Oh, wait, there was one time! Remember when I was super stuck on those electrostatics questions?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I made you a short worksheet for them on the fly. I had fun with that."

"You did let out something resembling a demonic giggle while you were making those questions. Man, those were hard!"

My face fell. "Oh... uh... hmm..."

Miku laughed quietly. "Demonic giggle? What the heck is that?"

Yotsuba pointed at me. "Go on, Uesugi-san! Let out a demonic giggle!"

"How the hell am I supposed to do that intentionally when I didn't even know that was something I did until now?!"

"Good point! Also, excellent use of a pun, Uesugi-san! Nine out of ten, almost perfect!"

"That was unintentional - and also, a nine out of ten doesn't make me happy."

Yotsuba muttered something about perfectionists, and then took a chocolate from a bowl, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth.

"Anyways, let's get back to work," I said.

Miku pouted. "I didn't get to hear a demonic giggle..."

"I mean, I'm definitely not going to do it if I'm aware of it. I don't even know what 'demonic giggle' means, Yotsuba!"

Yotsuba winked at her sister, and then stage-whispered, "If he does it again, I'm gonna sneakily record it and send it to you, Miku. It was very demonic."

"Please don't do that."

We kept studying, and I noticed something new compared to when we'd been studying Japanese grammar. Miku seemed like she had an almost smug look on her face as we discussed Sengoku warlords. She also seemed to be actually paying attention. When we finally got to Tokugawa Ieyasu, Miku stood up, and said, "In honour of the subject, I'm going to go make some tea. Does anyone want any?"

I glanced up. "Green, or black?"

She smirked at me. "Green, obviously."

"I'll have some then, thanks."

"I'm fine, thanks!" Yotsuba called. "That stuff's too bitter for me."

Miku shrugged, and went to the kitchen to make the tea. She returned a few minutes later with two cups of tea in yunomi. She set mine down before me, and then returned to her couch to sip on the green tea. I drank mine as I worked.

This is bitter. I almost feel like adding sugar to this would be blasphemous though.

A few minutes later, Yotsuba suddenly dramatically stood up, making me start.

"Eh? Yotsuba, what's wrong?"

"Tooooooilet!" she announced, and then left the coffee table to run to the larger-than-our-apartment bathroom.

The door closed, leaving just Miku and me alone in the living room. I put my pencil down, took another sip of my tea, and then leaned back on the couch.

What was it Ichika said about Miku? Find something that interests her...

I pondered for a moment.

She looked awfully smug when we started talking about warlords... and I recognize that look. I can feel it written all over my own face whenever we have class. That's the look of someone who already knows the thing being studied. That's my face.

"Is it alright if I call you Miku?" I ventured. "Calling you all 'Nakano-san' is a bit bothersome."

Miku nodded, and then said, "Only if I can call you Fuutarou."

I shrugged. "That doesn't bother me, so go right ahead."

"Ok, Fuutarou." She said it almost like she was trying out the taste of the word in her mouth.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"You looked like you knew a lot about what we were studying. Are you particularly interested in Sengoku warlords?"

Miku froze, her cup in her hand suddenly not moving. Her eyes widened, and a panicked look crossed her face, a reaction that caught me completely by surprise. Then she said, quietly, "...What makes you think that?"

I tilted my head slightly in thought. "You were making the same expression I make when I already know what's being taught in class. There's just something about already knowing what's being taught to you during a lecture... I really like that feeling."

Miku glanced away. "Well, you're wrong."

"Ah, is that so? Sorry, then. I shouldn't have assumed."

She glanced back at me, and then raised her yunomi to her lips and took a sip.

The bathroom door flung open, and Yotsuba marched back to the couches.

"I have returned!"

I clapped. "Truly a gruelingly long journey from here to the bathroom. Commendable, Private Yotsuba, commendable."

Yotsuba pouted. "I want a promotion!"

"Pass the midterms first."

"Unfair! That's too high of a hurdle!"

"Fine, don't get a zero on the midterms."

"Unfair! That's too high of a hurdle!"

"Seriously...?"

Suddenly, a door slammed open on the second floor, and a redhead leaned over the railing, glaring down at us.

"Can you guys please keep it down? I'm trying to sleep!"

Oh crap, she's awake! Wait, which one is that?

Yotsuba grinned sheepishly up at her sister. "Ah, sorry Nino. We'll lower the volume."

"Good!"

Then, she was gone.

We returned to our studying, and Miku returned to her tea, now studiously avoiding eye contact with me.

...I think I may have just blown my relationship with another Nakano sister. Fantastic. Exactly what the doctor ordered. This is what I get for being nosy. Mind your own business, Fuutarou.

I sighed miserably.

Well, there's nothing I can do about it now. Guess we'll need to expand Operation Twintail.

About thirty minutes later, a door on the second floor opened and shut again, and then Nino came down the stairs. Unlike Miku, she was actually dressed, instead of remaining in her pyjamas. With her bows now firmly in place, I was able to recognize her at first glance.

They really are identical, huh? I'm really glad Yotsuba wears that garish ribbon all the time, it makes it easy to pick her out.

"Eh? Nino, I thought you were trying to sleep?" Yotsuba asked, worriedly. "Were we still too loud?"

"No, I just couldn't fall back asleep," Nino huffed. "The damage was already done. I'm going to make breakfast. Do you guys want some?"

"Yes please," Miku said. "I've had enough pretzels already for the day."

"Pretzels...?"

Nino looked over at the coffee table, and then sighed.

"You're having that much junk food this early in the morning? Seriously, Yotsuba?"

"Hey! This is my fantastic spread! I worked super hard on it!"

"Right. Did you have any actual food yet, or was it just fantastic spread?"

"...Just fantastic spread."

"I'm going to make food. You're going to eat it."

Yotsuba pouted. "Fine."

I reached over the table and patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, there's still loads of time to eat your fantastic spread. We have all day."

Nino eyed me up. "I guess I'll make some for you too, Mr. Nerd. I'm not going to abandon Yotsuba's guest, no matter how I feel about them."

I bowed my head. "My deepest appreciations."

Nino raised an eyebrow at me. "I can't tell if you're making fun of me, or if you're just weird."

"Weird," Yotsuba said, grinning. "Definitely weird."

I shot her a look. "You've been holding that in for the last hour and a half, waiting to get revenge, haven't you?"

"Guilty as charged, Uesugi-san!"

Nino scowled at me, but didn't say anything else, and just walked over to the kitchen. A few minutes later, the sound of oil on a hot skillet filled the apartment, and the aromatic smell of onion and garlic permeated the room.

"Ahh, that smells amazing," Yotsuba said, a blissful look on her face.

"Of course it does," Nino said from the kitchen with a slight smirk. "I'm the one cooking it."

Then, she put a lid over the skillet, and walked over to the couches.

"Yotsuba, can you go up and see if Ichika and Itsuki want any?"

"Oh, Ichika isn't here, she left super early this morning," Yotsuba said, getting up. "She said that her work wanted her for the full day."

Nino frowned. "What even is that part-time job of hers? Imagine wanting a high-schooler that early in the morning on a weekend..."

Yotsuba shrugged. "Beats me. We should ask her about it sometime."

She then made her way up the stairs, and Nino returned to the kitchen. A few minutes later, Yotsuba came back down, a sad look on her face.

"She doesn't want any."

Nino stared at her in shock. "Wait, Itsuki doesn't want breakfast? Are you sure that's her in there?"

"Yeah. She says that she doesn't want to see Uesugi-san, and so she's going to stay in her room."

Well, she was right about one of them hiding...

Nino rolled her eyes. "He's a jerk, but he's not worth missing breakfast over. Fine, we'll just send a plate up to her."

I'm right here, you know! I can hear what you're saying!

I managed to keep my mouth shut (a truly herculean feat), and just went back to my studying. A few minutes later, Nino carried four plates over to the table near the stairs, and called us over. I put my textbooks down, and meekly went to eat the food made by the girl who hated me.

For food made by someone who hated my guts, it was phenomenal. It was cooking like this that made me realize that, for all of her talents, Raiha was still just a grade-schooler. This was cooking. As I ate the beautifully crafted omelet that Nino had made, I could tell that I was only appreciating a small fraction of its worth.

Curse my poor-man's palette! Curse it!

Yotsuba carried a fifth plate up the stairs to Itsuki's door, and when she came down again, the plate was gone, so I could only assume that the recluse had accepted the offering. The sisters chatted away with one another, but I silently stared up at the small bit of Itsuki's door that I could see from my spot.

I don't think I've ever had someone hate me so much that they tried to forgo food before. That's gotta be a first. A new low for Uesugi Fuutarou.

After we finished breakfast, I bowed my head to Nino. "Thanks for the food. It was delicious."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I don't need the dramatic gratitude," she said, and then cleared the plates away, and began washing them. I turned to Yotsuba and shrugged helplessly, my sincerity rejected. She shrugged back, and then we returned to the couches to study.

"Should we finish up with social studies?" I asked Yotsuba. She shook her head.

"Nah, I've completely lost my train of thought with it. Let's just move on, and come back to it later."

I nodded. "Alright, sounds good. What was the next subject on the list?"

Yotsuba grimaced. "My one true enemy."

"Ah. Math."

Yotsuba sat on the floor again, and took out her math textbook. She stared at it, and then just seemed to melt, ending up hunched over the book.

"Beeeeh. I don't like math."

"Do your best, Private Yotsuba. You can't let such trifles stop you."

In the kitchen, Nino rolled her eyes, but I ignored her. This girl seems to be deriving great pleasure from mocking every single thing I do, or taking offense at it. I'm not sure I believe that she'll come around on her own.

Yotsuba perked up at my encouragement, and saluted.

"Aye, you're right! Such hardships can't stop me - I've got a promotion to earn!"

She then gave me a wink and a cheeky grin, holding up her hand with her thumb and middle finger forming a circle. "Gotta win that sweet, sweet promotion cash."

I gave her a blank stare. "Wait, you're getting paid? Huh. Our accountant has a lot to answer for."

"Waaah! Slavery! This is slavery! I demand a fair wage!"

We both laughed, and then got back to work. As we did so, Miku abandoned us to go back up to her room, and returned about ten minutes later fully dressed, her signature headphones draped around her neck. She plopped down on the couch in her previous spot, and pulled out her phone, presumably to listen to music. I idly noticed that she'd left as soon as we decided to move on from Sengoku warlords.

Maybe my guess wasn't as far off as she led me to believe. I'm not an idiot though, I'm not going to press the point. Don't want to dig myself into any deeper of a hole.

The next hour and forty-five minutes was spent alternating between solving problems myself, and diligently attempting to teach Yotsuba the bare basics of trigonometry - in particular, Pythagoras' theorem, which wasn't even really trigonometry. As much as I wanted to jump ahead to covering the current class topic, trigonometric identities, there was no way she was going to get to that point any time soon.

What has she been doing up until now...?

After she finished cleaning the dishes, Nino went over to the bookshelf, and pulled what appeared to be fashion magazines off the lowest shelf. She then sat at the table, and poured over them, really appearing to drink in every detail of every page.

I can't tell if she's genuinely that fascinated by fashion, or if she's just trying to distract herself from the irritation of my existence.

I felt a brief twinge of annoyance at that thought, but Yotsuba's complaining about Pythagoras distracted me from it.

At about the forty-five minute mark of the math section, the sound of a door opening emanated from the second floor, and I glanced up to see Itsuki coming down the stairs. She studiously avoided making eye-contact with me, and went into the washroom. A few minutes later, she emerged, and returned to her room without saying a single word.

"Yikes, cold." Yotsuba whispered to me, leaning in and shivering. "Good luck with that, Uesugi-san."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "This was your idea, you know."

"I'm just trying to be supportive!"

"Well, thanks. I'm going to need it."

She grinned, and lightly slapped a hand on my shoulder. "I've gotcha, pal!"

Around the time that the alarm was set to go off to finish the math section, Nino seemed to get bored with the magazines, and eventually she wandered back into the kitchen.

"I'm making lunch," she announced to no one in particular.

"Eh? We just ate!" Yotsuba complained. "Also, I'm filled up on fantastic spread."

"That was two hours ago, it's lunch time. Also, I'm bored."

I raised my hand. "I'll have some, please."

Yotsuba looked at me in shock. "Betrayal! Tell me, was my fantastic spread not good enough for you, Uesugi-san?"

I shook my head. "It's not like that. I'm just hungry for food, and not snacks."

Nino stared down at me, a vaguely scornful expression on her face.

"I'm not cooking for just you. Hey, Miku! Do you want lunch?"

Miku didn't respond, her headphones over her ears. She seemed to be rocking back and forth to a sort of rhythmic beat. Nino frowned, and then walked over to her, and pulled her headphones off.

"Hey! Nino, give those back!"

She scowled down at her younger sister. "I was trying to talk to you, Miku."

"Give them back!"

Nino dropped the headphones in Miku's lap. "I asked if you wanted lunch. I'm bored, I want to cook."

Miku pouted, and put the headphones back around her neck.

"What are you gonna make?"

"I dunno yet. I'll decide once I know who's eating."

"I guess I'll have some. Not too much though."

Nino nodded, and then walked up the stairs, presumably to talk to Itsuki. When she came back down, she was scowling.

"She's not coming down for lunch either. She still wants a plate though. That meat-bun monster is being real disrespectful!"

I felt a pang of guilt. While I certainly wanted to make it so Itsuki didn't hate my guts, if only for Yotsuba's sake, I also didn't particularly like the idea of being a source of intra-familial strife, which my presence was clearly causing. As Nino grumpily made her way into the kitchen, I silently continued with my math studies, hoping that the endless cotangents and cosecants would distract me from my sin.

"Hey, Uesugi-san. I think I've figured out Pythagoras' theorem. I don't really know why it works though..."

A distraction. Excellent. Thank you, Private Yotsuba!

I walked around the table to sit next to her.

"Here's this nice proof I found in a reference book. Let's use the example of a triangle with side lengths of three, four, and five. If you're squaring something, that's basically the same as thinking about a square with a side length equal to that number - that's why it's called squaring. So if we think about squares with a side length of three, four, and five, we can draw them like this."

I drew squares with nine, sixteen, and twenty-five smaller squares inside respectively.

"Now, suppose you take the smallest block, and add all of its interior blocks to the middle block - how many blocks do you get?"

"Uhh... Oh! You get twenty-five!"

"Which is the same as five squared, right?"

"Right!"

"So that's why it works. It basically says that if you attach a square to each part of a right-angle triangle, and you add the two smallest squares together, you get the biggest square. That's the whole theorem."

"Wow, Uesugi-san! That's a genius for you!"

From the kitchen, Nino muttered, "Friggin' nerd."

Wow. Ichika wasn't kidding about the effects of emotional whiplash yesterday. I have no idea how to feel right now.

About fifteen minutes later, Nino finished making lunch, and we went to eat again. Yotsuba wasn't hungry, but came and sat at the table anyways - as I ate the cheese and ham sandwich that Nino had made for myself and Miku, she pouted and stared at me.

"What is it?" I asked her after swallowing a bite.

"I feel like my fantastic spread isn't getting the love and appreciation it deserves," she complained.

"Yotsuba, my culinary world has already been blown open by those dips today. Don't feel bad about it. Besides, snacks aren't lunch, they're snacks. They're the backdrop to the entire day."

Yotsuba huffed, but seemed to brighten up after that.

As we finished up, I was about to go back to studying, but then I felt a soft tug on my shirt. I turned around to see that Miku had pulled me back.

"Miku?"

"Fuutarou, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh... sure. What's up?"

"Not here. Can you come out onto the balcony?"

I glanced back at Yotsuba, and she gave me a thumbs up, before settling back into her seat on the floor.

"I'm gonna eat all the tortilla chips while you're gone, so you two go on ahead - all the more for me!"

Hey! I barely had any yet!

Grumbling to myself, I followed Miku out onto the balcony. She closed the door behind us, and then walked over to the railing, and stared out into the distance. I followed her, and was shocked by the blast of wind that swept over me.

It's friggin' cold. Yotsuba wasn't kidding about waiting to come out here. What the hell could she possibly want to talk about?

Miku turned back around, and seemed to be looking past me into the apartment. I turned around as well, and saw that Nino was doing dishes, and Yotsuba was munching on snacks.

Is she... checking that they're not within earshot?

"I need to apologize to you, Fuutarou."

...Eh?

"I panicked, and lied to you this morning. I'm really sorry."

I turned back around to face her.

"That's... fine? Wait, are you talking about the thing with the warlords?"

Glumly, Miku nodded. "You just asked me out of the blue like that, and I panicked. I didn't want Yotsuba to hear, and I wasn't sure if my other sisters were awake, so I just decided to lie about it. But it's been eating at me ever since then, and I just needed to get it off my chest."

"Wait, so you do like Sengoku warlords. Why do you want to hide that from your sisters?"

Miku glanced to the side. "They talk about love and hot guys all the time, and I like bald middle-aged men from four-hundred years ago. Isn't that weird? It's embarrassing."

I... somehow can't envision Yotsuba talking about hot guys.

I shrugged. "You're talking to a guy who's passion in life is studying. I don't think being interested in history is a particularly embarrassing hobby. It's ok to be proud of what you like."

Miku smiled slightly as I said this, then shook her head.

"Regardless, please don't tell my sisters."

I sighed. "If that's what you want, I'll keep my mouth shut, but I don't really understand."

"Thank you."

"You could have joined us when we were studying about them though, you know? I'm sure you know a lot more than the bare-bones coverage that's in the course material."

She stared at me with sad eyes. "I couldn't do that. Yotsuba would have found out."

I shrugged. "Fair enough, I guess. Anyways, thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me."

Miku seemed a bit taken aback by that, but then just nodded.

"Shall we go back inside?" I ventured. "It's freezing out here."

She nodded again, and we both made our way back inside the apartment. Miku and I sat back down on the couches, and Yotsuba looked back and forth between us from the floor, her mouth full of tortilla chips.

"So," she said, swallowing the chips. "What was that about?"

"It's. A. Secret." I retorted, smirking slightly.

"Hey, that was my line! You scoundrel!" Yotsuba pouted.

"It's not your line, Yotsuba, that's in like every slice-of-life anime," Miku said, putting her headphones back on.

"Meanie," Yotsuba said back, her pout deepening.

"Anyways, I think that's probably enough math for today. Next on the docket was science, right?"

"Yep. I think we were doing biology?"

Yotsuba and I continued our hard work, though our pace was frequently broken by snack breaks. I felt somewhat obligated to partake more than I normally would, given the level of effort Yotsuba had clearly put into the spread. By the time the alarm on her phone next went off an hour and a half later, our snack supplies were starting to run seriously low. It also didn't help that Miku was also partaking of the spread.

Speaking of Nino, she had briefly returned to her room after making lunch, and had returned to the table with nail polish. As we studied, she painted her nails an alternating pink and blue pattern, and as they dried, she watched videos on her phone. Around the time the alarm went off, she was in the middle of painting small butterfly designs on the dried nails, and jumped slightly as the phone rang.

"Argh, Yotsuba! I screwed up because of that! It's so loud!"

"Ah, sorry Nino. My bad! I had it turned up because I thought I'd be too distracted to notice it otherwise!"

She sighed. "It's fine, I can fix it. It's not your fault."

Nino then returned to doing art on her nails, her focus entirely too preoccupied to notice anything else - which was good, because any time that she was spending preoccupied was time that she wasn't spending mocking me.

"Final subject is English," I said, pulling out my textbook. On the other couch, I saw Miku look up, see my book, and scooch further away from the table - or at least as far as she could, given that involved her backing up straight into the couch.

I guess... she really doesn't like English?

About ten minutes into our studying, Yotsuba glanced at the clock on the wall.

"Hey, Uesugi-san, it's around mid-afternoon now, but we've still got all of our English to do, and also we need to finish off the social studies section. Do you want to stay for dinner?"

At the table, I saw Nino stiffen, and then turn to look at Yotsuba with an annoyed look on her face.

"I'm making dinner for this jerk as well as everyone else?"

"I can cook instead if you want, Nino!"

"...Nevermind, I'll do it," Nino grumbled, turning back around.

Yotsuba smiled sheepishly. "I guess my cooking isn't too great..."

"Still better than mine," Miku said glumly.

"Is that so?" I said, not really paying attention. "I'm sure your cooking is fine."

I then glanced up at Yotsuba. "Sure, I'll stay. Let me just text Raiha and let her know I won't be home for dinner."

"Who's Raiha?" Miku asked.

"His kid sister," Yotsuba answered as I pulled out my phone and began composing my email. "I bet she's pretty cute!"

"She's adorable," I replied absent-mindedly as I wrote. "Cutest elementary schooler in the world."

"Ahhh, I wanna meet her," Yotsuba said wistfully, stretching out her arms on the table. "I bet we'd get along great."

"Also, she's a smart cookie. She does all the budgeting and cooking in the house."

"Eh?!" Yotsuba said, shocked. "That's one clever grade schooler!"

"Right?"

I fired off my email, and then put my phone away.

"Alright," I said, cracking my fingers. "Let's power through this."

I wasn't entirely sure that I was just talking about studying.

Chapter 7: Coldness and Cutlery and Catharsis

Chapter 7:

Coldness and Cutlery and Catharsis

We finally ran out of snacks.

About an hour into the English section, the last pretzel was consumed. With the fantastic spread gone, Miku lost interest. She got up from the couch, brushed herself off of crumbs, and returned to her room. Yotsuba and I powered through the rest of the English vocabulary, but with the snacks thoroughly depleted, I could see Yotsuba visibly starting to falter.

I guess the only thing that was enabling her to study this long was the prospect of snacks, and the frequent breaks for meals, huh? Maybe this sort of intense studying is too much for her.

"You holding up ok, Yotsuba?"

"I'm... I'm alright... my head is just starting to hurt a bit. We've been at this for a long time now..."

"Just a bit more, and then we're through. Do you want to stop for a bit to take some pain medication? I'm here until after dinner anyways, so there's not a rush."

"Sure," she said gratefully, getting up. "That's a good idea, I'll be right back Uesugi-san."

She left the couches, and then suddenly it was just myself and Nino in the room. She had finished doing her nails, and was now just letting them air-dry. Our backs were turned to one another, so I just awkwardly found somewhere to stare in the apartment. She had earbuds in, and seemed to be watching some type of tutorial video. With the temporary moment of solitude, I finally allowed myself to ogle the room.

This place is huge. I wonder how much the rent is each month? Probably more than our entire apartment is worth to buy. Or maybe this is the sort of apartment that you have to buy outright...

I looked up at the giant television that was mounted on the wall in front of me.

I think that TV might be larger than the exterior wall of our apartment. That's absolutely nuts .

My eyes wandered around the room, drinking in the details. I'd never been to a place like this before in my entire life. Eventually, my eyes made it to the table, and I glanced at the back of Nino's head.

I wonder if she'll really be easier to bring around than Itsuki. It's true that she hasn't been avoiding me all day, but... she's made her dislike of me abundantly clear. It seems pretty deep-seated, too. That said, she has made food for me twice. And it's been good food each time. Not a single drop of poison as far as I could tell, so she can't hate me too much... right?

Then my brow furrowed.

Wait, if she poisoned me, would I even realize it until later?

I pondered that thought for a moment, then shook my head.

What am I even thinking? Yotsuba's sister isn't going to poison me, especially for a reason as silly as this.

I glanced back at her head again.

Probably.

Suddenly, I heard a clicking sound from the front door, and I turned back around to face the entrance just in time to see a very tired-looking Ichika walk into the apartment. She was wearing high-waisted jeans and a knitted sweater-shirt, with aviator glasses on her forehead. From her outfit, it was clear she'd been somewhere fancy -- from my unfortunately not-insignificant experience, it didn't look like the sort of thing you wore to a retail job.

"Hey, I'm home! Oh, hi, Fuutarou-kun. I didn't know you were going to be staying so late. Lucky me!"

She took off her shoes, walked in, and then looked around. "Where's Yotsuba? Also, hi Nino. Glad to see you're hanging out with our guest."

Nino turned around, took out her earbuds, and then grimaced. "I'm not hanging out with him, we just happen to be in the same room. Also, welcome back. Also, what the heck kind of job do you have that they wanted you so early in the morning?"

Ichika laughed, and then blatantly ignored the question. "So, where is Yotsuba, Fuutarou-kun?"

"We've been studying for quite a long time now, so she developed a bit of a headache. She's just getting some pain medication, and she should be back soo-- ah, there she is."

Yotsuba trotted back into the room, and waved to Ichika.

"Ah! Welcome back! I hope you had a good day at work!"

Ichika glanced to the side. "It was... alright."

That doesn't sound promising at all.

Yotsuba bought the line, though, and plopped down on the floor across from me.

"It's too bad you weren't able to have the fantastic spread, though, Ichika! I worked super hard on it! Alas, it's all gone."

"Actually, I stole some before I left for work. It was delicious."

"What?!" Yotsuba cried. "Betrayal from you too! Today's been nothing but betrayal from both of you!"

Ichika and I glanced at each other, and she raised an eyebrow.

"She's joking."

Yotsuba fake-glared at me.

"...Mostly."

Ichika laughed. "Hey, wasn't me getting to try some what you wanted anyways, Yotsuba-chan? You should be happy!"

Yotsuba pondered this for a moment. "I... guess that's true."

Ichika walked over to the coffee table and leaned over Yotsuba's shoulder, looking at our textbooks. "So, whatcha studying?"

"English, for the next... twenty minutes or so? Then back to social studies for another half hour, and then we're done for the day."

"Geez, that's a lot of studying. You're really putting Yotsuba-chan through the ringer, Fuutarou-kun."

"Am I?" I said, furrowing my brow. "This is normal for me though. If anything, this was a pretty relaxed day for me."

"As expected of a genius," Yotsuba sighed. "I don't think I could do this every day. My brain is at its limits. Actually, I think I surpassed my limits a while ago."

Then, she flexed her bicep and grabbed it.

"Gotta push through my limits, though! That's where true growth is! Plus U ltra!"

"...What?"

"Uh, nevermind. Anyways, let's grind through this last bit."

Ichika went and made herself a tea while we finished up our English studies. As we wrapped up our investigation of transitive and intransitive verbs, Ichika settled into Miku's former spot on the couch with a steaming mug and a look of absolute bliss on her face.

"Man, it's nice to be able to just sit and relax. I'm exhausted."

At that moment, Nino got up from where she'd been sitting at the table, and walked into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna start making dinner now. How much longer are you guys gonna be?"

As she spoke, the alarm on Yotsuba's phone went off. She silenced it, and I answered Nino.

"Uh, about thirty more minutes. Are you good for that long, Yotsuba?"

She grimaced. "Probably. Maybe? "

Then she paused. " Hmmm... Actually, I gotta have faith in my vitality! Carry on, Uesugi-san! Carry on! We'll make it to the end!"

"You don't need to be stubborn. If you need to stop a bit early, we can stop a bit early. It's fine. We did plenty today."

"No! I want to be able to say with a proud face that I was able to keep up with you! So I want to push through!"

I sighed. "Alright, suit yourself. Let's go back to Sengoku warlords."

Almost as if I'd summoned her, I heard a door open on the second floor, and then Miku came back down the stairs.

Is that girl psychic? Scary!

"Are we having dinner soon, Nino?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm just starting on it now. Can you go tell Itsuki that if she doesn't come down for dinner this time, I'm not making her any? This is getting ridiculous."

Miku hesitated. "Are you sure you want me to deliver that message?"

"Yes. I'm starting to get pissed off with her."

Ichika turned to me with a confused look on her face as Miku trudged right back up the stairs. "What's that all about?"

"Itsuki doesn't want to be around me, so she refused to come downstairs for breakfast or lunch. We've only seen her once today, when she needed to use the toilet. Apart from that, she's been holed up there all day."

Ichika grimaced. "Yikes. Cold."

"That's what I said!" Yotsuba exclaimed.

Miku came back downstairs, and shook her head. "She says that she'll just go without dinner then."

I can't believe she hates me this much.

"Ugh, this is stupid!" Nino exclaimed. "I'm going to go yell at her."

And the way she and I have been fighting... it's causing them to fight too.

I glanced across the table, and saw Yotsuba staring up at Itsuki's door. The look on her face was easy to read... and made my chest ache to look at.

She was miserable.

Ugh. This is going to suck.

"Hang on, Nino," I said, and she stopped at the bottom of the stairs, glaring at me over the use of her first name. "Look, this is clearly my fault. I don't want you to fight because I'm staying over for dinner. I'll just eat out on the balcony. That way, she can come down and eat with you guys, and there's no need to go yell at her."

This is gonna suck, but... it's worth it if I can somehow make that look leave Yotsuba's face.

"That's also stupid," Nino scoffed. "It's freezing out there. I dislike you as much as she does, but she needs to get over herself."

Wow, that's blatant. Also... wait, Nino doesn't want me to freeze to death?

"Nino's right, Uesugi-san! It's way too cold out there."

I shrugged, looking down at Yotsuba. "I'd rather you were able to have dinner with her without her feeling like she's being forced. It doesn't bother me, I've got a coat. I'll be fine."

Whenever the power goes out at our place, it can get way colder than out there anyways. If I have my coat, I'll be fine.

Nino hesitated. There was a hard-to-read look on her face, which was annoying, because I generally found her expressions the easiest to read out of the quints after Yotsuba. Then, she nodded.

"Fine. Have it your way. I'll go tell her. I'm not responsible for any frostbite though. I wash my hands of this."

"Wait, Nino..." Yotsuba said, half-heartedly.

Nino went up the stairs, and Miku came to sit on the couch next to Ichika.

"You know," she said, fiddling with her headphones, "you really didn't need to do that. Itsuki's just being stubborn. She would have come down once she got hungry."

"Be that as it may," I replied, looking down at my notebook, "I'm an outsider here. I don't want to get between you. My presence at that table isn't something worth fighting about."

It's worth it.

There was silence after I said that, most likely because the three of them agreed to at least some degree, but didn't want to say it. Then, Yotsuba groaned.

"I'm sorry, Uesugi-san, I don't think I can keep going. My brain is just fried."

I nodded. "That's fine. Let's call it a day there then."

I closed my books, and packed up my bag. Breathing a sigh of relief, Yotsuba packed hers up too, and ran up to her room with the bag to put it away, passing Nino on her way back down.

"So, what did she say?" Ichika prompted, and Nino scowled.

"She said that's fine. I told her she was being selfish though, and she said, and I quote, ' Be that as it may, I must stick to my guns on this particular matter '. Ugh, honestly."

Wait. Wait, this might be an opportunity.

"I do have a request, which I hope she'll agree to," I said.

"Why didn't you say that before I ran up and down the stairs, you jerk?!"

"Sorry, sorry," I replied , making a 'calm down' motion with my hands.

"What's the request?"

Maybe I can turn this around to my advantage.

"I'd really appreciate it if she would come out to talk to me on the balcony after she's done eating. I need to speak with her."

Nino sighed . "I really doubt she'll accept that, but whatever. I'll go talk to her."

She trudged back up the stairs, and I could hear the distant sound of her talking with Itsuki. Then Nino came back down with a surprised look on her face.

"She said yes. "

I glanced over at Ichika, and she gave me a nod of support . I then turned back to Nino, a plan already forming in my mind.

" Sounds good . I'll be waiting. "

Nino scowled.

"If she's going to just talk to you right afterwards anyways, isn't this whole thing pointless? I don't understand either of you."

No. No, you don't.

After Yotsuba came back down from her room and I brought her up to speed on the situation, we cleared the fantastic spread's associated detritus off the table. Yotsuba loaded the bowls and plates into a strange device I'd never seen before, which she called a "dishwasher". She then pressed a button, and it began making strange rumbling sounds.

Why didn't Nino use that thing to wash the dishes? She did them all by hand...

When she came back, Miku went and got a pack of cards from the bookshelf, and the four of us played card games while Nino grumpily prepared dinner. After winning several hands due to my excellent control of my facial muscles and also my generally fantastic poker face, the game basically came down to a head-to-head between Ichika and myself, Yotsuba and Miku both getting eliminated early on in each round.

I would frequently out-smart her with clever ploys, but unlike with the other two, it was impossible to get any kind of read on what she was thinking. Also, her eyes constantly seemed like they were staring directly into my soul, which was a little disconcerting when I was trying to make my face as neutral as possible.

After about twenty minutes, the whole apartment was filled with the aromatic scent of cooking meat. I leaned back and sighed.

"That smells delicious..."

Nino merely hmph'd in acknowledgement, and continued her work. Since I'd decided I would eat dinner out on the balcony, she had been restraining the snark that normally seemed to flow freely from her mouth, mostly just choosing to ignore me.

I suppose this is her version of being nice to me. How considerate of her.

I rolled my eyes, and returned to the game. I'd gotten the upper hand on Ichika in the previous round, and was looking to defend my reign as king. After valiantly defending my stronghold and fighting off her assaults one more time...

"Food's ready."

We all got up, and Miku packed away the cards, sulking at her repeated annihilation. I walked over to the door, threw on my coat, and carried my shoes over to the balcony entrance.

"Your plate is over there," Nino said, pointing at a plate loaded with food as well as cutlery that was on the corner of the table nearest to the balcony. "Girls, you set the table."

I'm not used to using a knife and fork. This will be an... interesting experience.

I picked the plate up as the other three brought theirs over to the table, and as I did so, I noticed that there was slightly more food on my plate than theirs. I looked up from my meal at Nino in shock, but she had already sat down and was looking at her phone. Shaking my head, I stepped out onto the balcony as Yotsuba and Miku put down cutlery, and Ichika went upstairs to collect the volleyball demon.

The blast of cold wind that awaited me on the balcony was certainly less intense than it had been when I was outside with Miku, but that decrease in windspeed was partially counteracted by the fact that the air temperature had dropped. It was still only September, but the nights were already starting to get cold. As I started walking towards the railing, I glanced back to see Yotsuba giving me a mournful look through the glass as she placed a jug of water on the table. She mouthed something to me, which I thought might have been "I'm sorry," but I just shrugged to her.

This was my idea. I'm the one who'll need to bear with it.

And at least that look is gone from her face.

I stood at the railing and stared out. With the sun having set, the view of the city was pristine. Lights shone like little pinpricks down below, a sea of beauty in the darkness of the night. It felt like I was a sailor in a crow's nest, watching the stars reflect off of a winedark sea. The vista almost took my breath away.

Almost.

I shivered.

Turning my attention to my food, I suddenly paused.

Nino gave me a knife and fork... and the food looks delicious... but how am I supposed to eat with a knife and fork while also holding the plate while I stand...?

As if answering my silent call, the door to the balcony swung open, and Nino strode out with a folding chair and a small card table. Without saying a word, she opened the chair and set it down. She then put the table on its side, and opened the thing by herself.

"Ah... Thank you."

She flipped the table upright, tucked the chair in, and then left without even acknowledging me.

That was both very nice of her, and very annoying. That girl confuses the hell out of me.

I set my plate down on the card table, and sat on the folding chair. I picked up my knife and fork, and cut into the hamburg steak that was on my plate. The juices flowed out of it, and I carefully lifted a morsel of the food to my mouth.

This is the best dinner I've had in forever... and in the worst environment.

I sighed, and morosely leaned back to stare out into the distance. The moon was partially covered by clouds, but it was visible just over the horizon. A small shiver ran down my spine, and I was grateful for the meagre warmth provided by my worn jacket. My hands were being kept warm only by the heat rising off of my dinner. It wasn't much warmth. As I pierced the cooked vegetables that lined the side of the plate, my hands trembled slightly.

Turning to glance through the window, I could see all five quintuplets gathered around the table eating together. At the same moment I looked in, Yotsuba turned to look out and, making eye-contact, mouthed "Are you ok?" to me. I gave her a thumbs up, and she smiled half-heartedly at me. Then, I turned back to my dinner.

This is fine.

Before I knew it, the food was done, and I leaned back in the chair, grateful to be able to shove my hands in my pockets. The sound of talking from inside was heavily subdued by the thick glass, so I wasn't able to hear anything except the faint mumble of far away voices. It felt... a little lonely.

In lieu of conversation, I got up, and turned to look back out over the railing. The cars driving by on the streets below were just little mobile stars, their path through the depths of the night letting white yield to red as they changed from oncoming to retreating.

Wandering stars. I guess that would make them planets, huh?

Mesmerized by the lights moving below me, I lost track of time, and was suddenly startled by the sound of the door opening and closing. I turned around to see Itsuki on the balcony with a thick coat on, and wearing fuzzy mittens.

"Hi, Nakano-san," I said, turning back to look over the railing.

"You wanted to talk with me?" She said stiffly, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Do you mind coming over here? It's kind of hard to talk to you over the entire length of the balcony."

Awkwardly, Itsuki made her way over to me, until she was standing next to me.

"Well?"

Moment of truth.

"I wanted to talk about what happened on Thursday."

"...I see."

I glanced over at Itsuki to see that she was looking away from me, her eyes trained intently on the distant moon. However, the thing that stood out to me was that it almost seemed like there were tears in the corners of her eyes.

How peculiar.

I turned back to stare out into the darkness.

"Let's play a game, Nakano-san."

"A game?"

"Yep. A game."

"...What sort of game did you have in mind?"

"Let's take turns. On each turn, you say something that the other has done that hurt you. The other person can't say anything about it until the end. You can start."

"Why on earth would I want to play a game like that?"

I stared up at the moon. "On a beautiful night like tonight, don't you think it's better to just clear the air?"

Itsuki was quiet for a long time, so long in fact that I briefly thought she had left, though I didn't turn to check. The cold night air made me shiver inside my coat, but I wasn't entirely sure if it was truly the cold, or if it was nervous anticipation.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after a--

"It upset me when you eavesdropped on my and Ichika's conversation about you."

Starting with the easy ones, huh?

I bowed my head, still not looking at her. "I'm sorry."

"I thought you couldn't say anything about it until the end?"

"Ah, right. Sorry."

We were both silent for a moment, and then Itsuki said, "It's your turn."

I turned away from the moon to look directly at her. She was facing me now.

"Right. It upset me when you physically injured me with the volleyball and the birdie. And the paper cut."

Itsuki paled at the memory of the blood from the paper cut, but then just nodded. I could see a guilty look on her face, but she proceeded anyways.

"It upset me that you were mean to Nino. My sisters are important to me."

I opened my mouth indignantly, but then remembered that I wasn't allowed to say anything, and closed it again. I nodded stiffly, then said,

"When we first met, it upset me that you basically forced yourself into my space, and then criticized my studying, which is basically all I had while I was at school."

Itsuki glowered at me, and I realized I had definitely raised the ante. Then, her face starting to turn red, she yelled, "When we first met, you told me I was going to get fat! I'm quite sensitive about that!"

I recoiled at her shout, and then bowed my head, the shame of that moment making my face a bit red. I felt quite badly about that, which was why I had apologized for it the next day. After a long silence, Itsuki raised an eyebrow, her face still flushed.

"Are you finished? Is that everything you have to say?"

"No."

Silence.

"I'm thinking about how to word this."

There was another moment of silence, and then I spoke quietly.

"During our first meeting, you flaunted your wealth in front of me in a way that, while you couldn't have known it, really upset me."

Itsuki frowned. "I don't understand that one."

"No comments until the end. I can explain then."

"Fine," she glowered. "My turn."

She placed her mittened hand on the railing, and I could see that she was squeezing the metal through the fabric. "I was really hurt and embarrassed when I reached out to share my notes with you, and you criticized them in front of the whole class."

Her hand was shaking.

"I know I am not a genius, but I was trying to be nice, and you publicly humiliated me!"

I winced. I hadn't realized she'd taken that particular rejection so badly.

Maybe her wounds that day were less self-inflicted than I thought they were.

"My turn then. Every single day, I can feel your eyes on the back of my head, glaring at me. Non-stop. The constant hostility has been really upsetting me."

Itsuki's eyes widened, and she blanched. "Y... you noticed that?"

"No comments."

"Ugh. Right."

There was a moment of silence, and it seemed like the counterstrike had temporarily deflated her rage. The moment stretched into a minute, and then Itsuki said, half-heartedly, "I didn't like that you've been so blatantly ignoring me since Thursday. It... really bothered me, for some reason."

I guess it had its intended effect. Thanks, Ichika.

I decided to follow up on the momentary reprieve I'd won.

"I didn't like that you bad-mouthed me behind my back to your sisters. I can understand why you did it, but it still upset me."

Itsuki blanched again. "Wh-- H...how did you know about that? Did Yotsuba tell you?!"

"No, Nino told me when she confronted me. The others just confirmed it."

Itsuki seemed to almost wilt.

"Oh. I... I see."

We were silent for a long moment, the cold air around us suddenly oppressive. Finally, Itsuki spoke up.

"It upset me that you made fun of me when we finished the badminton game. Not much, but... a bit."

I frowned, trying to remember what I'd said. Is she talking about the ambulance comment...?

"It's your turn, Uesugi."

"Alright. This is the last thing I can think of."

She waited. It wasn't quite cold enough for the moisture in our breath to be visible, but for a moment, it almost seemed like the pensiveness was making every breath she took visible and countable. Like each breath was anxiety.

I made her wait.

Then...

"What you said to me on Thursday... it really, really hurt. I've been made fun of a lot in my life, especially ever since I became like... this. I've heard whispers and comments and jeers. I've never had it spat into my face like that before. That directly. Like I was some bug that you wanted to get away from as quickly as possible. Like I was disgusting."

My soul bared, I looked away from her, staring back up at the moon. The silence stretched out between us, a vast chasm that I wasn't sure that I could ever cross. It was unlike the silence at the beginning, where the other person's absence would be indistinguishable from the background of nothingness. This silence had weight, and tension, and a thickness to it that was indelibly marked by the girl next to me.

"...I was really hurt when you completely rejected me, and then started studying with Yotsuba two days later."

The silence ripped like foam, uneven and chaotic and unpredictable. I whipped around to look back at Itsuki in shock, and saw tears silently rolling down her face.

"I kept asking myself, was it something wrong with me? What did I lack that she had? We're quintuplets -- everything is supposed to be the same. It made me feel so... inferior, and small. I hated that feeling. It hurt."

I said nothing, just looking at her face. She maintained eye-contact with me for a long time, her lower lip trembling, before finally looking away.

"That is all that I have."

The silence returned, but it wasn't the same. It felt... overpowering now, like speaking would cause something to break, and yet that not speaking would also cause something to break. Tears continued to silently fall down Itsuki's face. I raised my hand, then lowered it again, unable to find the words. A minute passed. Two. Then, finally, my thoughts began to submit themselves to ordering, and I found my voice again.

"I had no idea. The thought that those things would hurt you so badly... none of it occurred to me."

I lowered my head, shame coursing within me. "I'm so, so sorry."

There was silence again, once more of a different breed than what came before it. A pregnant silence, but not oppressive. A silence like there was an opportunity for something to grow, rather than to shatter.

"...I forgive you."

I looked back up at her, relief flooding through me.

"And I'm also sorry," she continued. "I didn't realize... I would hurt you so badly. I'm sorry for the other things, but especially for Thursday. I was riled up by what Nino said at lunch, and I think I just wanted to express my hurt in a way that, in my head, sounded impactful. I don't think I really thought at all about what that impact would be."

Itsuki wiped away her tears, her eyes puffy and swollen.

It's amazing how much it helps to get a sincere apology. ...Catharsis. That was the word, right? I feel so much better.

"I forgive you too."

Itsuki smiled, and then looked like a thought crossed her mind.

"Can you explain, now? What you meant by 'flaunting my wealth'? I didn't understand that one."

I turned away from her to stare back out over the darkness of the city. Somehow, that made it easier to say it.

"I'm going to tell you something that I haven't told anyone at school. That includes Yotsuba, by the way. Can you keep it a secret? I... don't want people to know, at least unless I choose to tell them."

"...Yes. I can do that."

I sighed, and took a minute to compose myself. Then, I spoke.

"When I was six years old, my mom died. I was devastated, of course. My sister was too little to remember her, but I do. I loved her so much -- she was my world. When she died, I was lost... both mentally, but also physically. When she departed us, she left more than just memories behind."

I stared up at the moon as it slowly rose into the sky, leaving the horizon far behind.

"She had a huge loan she'd taken out... and we were left with the debt. We very quickly fell into poverty. We lost our home. We had to sell most of the nice things we had. My dad took on every job he could find, just so we could make ends meet, and every decision we made from that point on, money had to be the predominant factor. We're pretty much destitute, and have been for over ten years."

I glanced back at Itsuki, and then further back at the whole space we were occupying.

"This balcony is about twice the size of my family's apartment."

Itsuki looked around, and her eyes widened.

"So when we first met, I had the barbecue bowl with no barbecue. The whole thing is 200 yen. That's all I can afford to have for lunch, every day. And then, you showed up with over 1000 yen worth of food on your plate as I was starving, and asked me if my 200 yen's worth was going to be enough. My pride wouldn't allow me to be honest."

I stared past Itsuki, thinking about all of the delicious food I'd been able to have over the course of the day. In particular, the quantity.

"No. No, it wasn't enough. But it was all I could afford."

I turned back to her, and shrugged. "So, that's what I meant by it. Like I said, there's absolutely no way you could have known it would have that effect on me. I'm sure you were just trying to be kind."

"I... had no idea, you're right. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Nakano-san. I don't blame you for that, even if it did upset me."

There was another silence, and then I decided to take the final plunge.

"So, with the air cleared... do you think we can move on past this?"

Itsuki looked me up and down, and then sighed.

"On one condition."

"Yes?"

"I need you to explain something to me."

"What is it?"

She looked at me with steel in her eyes.

"I need to know. Why did you say yes to Yotsuba just two days after rejecting me like that?"

I leaned back from the railing, and furrowed my brow to ponder it. I hadn't thought too deeply about it at the time, but looking back now, it did seem like a very odd decision. I pored over the other interactions I'd had with the Nakano sisters in my head, and suddenly, I noticed something -- a pattern.

Kindness for kindness, hostility for hostility.

"There's a pretty straightforward answer, to be honest with you."

Itsuki simply waited.

"When we first met, we fought almost immediately, at least to an extent, and then you asked me. It was easier for me to say no, because I already had a bad impression of you. With Yotsuba, however, the first thing that happened was that we had a neutral interaction; I just thought she was weird -- and then she helped me out after my injury. That left a pretty strong positive impression on me."

I nodded. That sounded correct. "Also, you asked me to tutor you. Yotsuba didn't -- she just asked to join me in my studies. That, I think, was the other difference, even if I did end up teaching her to some extent. It was, 'can I join you', rather than 'can I take your time'."

Itsuki nodded silently.

"Does that answer the question?"

"I... maybe? I have some thinking to do about it."

I locked eyes with her, and then said, slowly, "So... are we good?"

She maintained eye-contact, and I could see conflict cross her face. Then, her face cleared, and she nodded.

"We're good."

I extended my hand, and she took it. We shook hands, and then I said,

"I'm glad. I'd really prefer to get along with you, Nakano-san."

"Itsuki."

"Excuse me?"

"Call me Itsuki. You call all of my other sisters by their first names, even Miku, who you only met today. If we're going to be frie... if we're going to get along, I want you to call me Itsuki."

For the first time since I had come out onto the balcony, I could feel the barest traces of a smile on my lips.

"Alright, Itsuki it is then."

"Sounds good, Uesugi."

"Wait, how is that fair?" I complained. "You're Itsuki, and I'm still Uesugi?"

"H-huh? Oh, that's... that's a good point. But... I don't think I feel comfortable calling you F-Fuutarou yet. I'm going to stick with Uesugi for now."

Then she frowned.

"Hmmm, that feels... a little too impersonal though. I guess I'll go with Uesugi-kun."

I sighed. "You know what? Go with whatever you're the most comfortable with."

"Very well! Uesugi-kun it is!"

I pushed myself away from the railing, and started to walk back towards the balcony entrance, but then a thought stopped me.

"Oh, Itsuki, one more thing."

"Yes?"

"I'm probably going to screw up again in the future, and you probably will too. We're both human, and I, at least, am... not good at communication. If I do hurt you again, please... just tell me what I did. I'll apologize. I just sometimes... don't realize I've hurt people."

Itsuki gave me a long look. Then...

"I'll do my best."

She walked over to me, and we stepped out of the cold together, and back into the warmth of the Nakano apartment.

 

Chapter 8: After The Cold, There's Warmth

Chapter 8:

After The Cold, There's Warmth

As Itsuki and I stepped inside, Ichika and Miku were on the couches on their phones, and Yotsuba was perched on a chair at the table watching us come in, her ribbon trembling. Nino was nowhere to be seen -- I could only presume that, with dinner finished, she had decided to wash her hands of the entire affair.

As soon as I stepped into the warmth of the apartment, leaving the frigid balcony behind me, I was hit by a sudden wave of fatigue. I wasn't sure if it was emotional or physical, but regardless, I was ready to go home.

"Is... Is everything alright?" Yotsuba asked timidly as she looked back and forth between us, her bow shaking nervously.

That thing really does have a life of its own, huh?

I nodded.

"Everything's fine. I really need to go home though -- I'm absolutely exhausted."

"Oh! Oh, uh, right! I... I guess that makes sense," Yotsuba said, and I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you alright? You're stuttering like crazy."

Yotsuba pouted. "I am not stuttering! I've got perfect control over-- hey, wait! I was asking about you!"

I snorted, and then took off my shoes and picked them up to carry them to the door. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and then frowned.

"I've got to head down now. If I remember the schedule correctly, my bus comes in seven minutes, and the next one isn't for another thirty after that. I don't want to miss it, so I'd better hurry."

I turned back towards the balcony door.

"I'll see you on Monday, Itsuki. Take care."

She nodded. "You too, Uesugi-kun."

I turned back around to see Yotsuba, Ichika, and Miku all staring at us in shock. Ignoring their confusion in the name of haste, I walked through the apartment to the front door, and slipped my shoes back on to leave.

"Wait, Uesugi-san!"

I turned back around to look at Yotsuba, who had her hand stretched out.

"Yeah?"

"...I'll walk you to the bus stop."

"Huh? Oh, sure. Thanks."

Yotsuba got up from the table, hurried over to the door, and grabbed her coat and her shoes. As she was getting ready, I turned back to the apartment, where Miku and Ichika still had looks of disbelief on their faces.

"I guess I'll see you both around. It was nice meeting you, Miku."

"Uh... likewise," she said, distractedly watching Itsuki go up the stairs.

"Could one of you tell Nino I said goodbye?"

Ichika turned to look at me. "Sure, I'll tell her. It might be fun to see her reaction. See you, Fuutarou-kun."

Yotsuba pulled on my sleeve, and I turned to see that she was ready. Then, we were out in the hall, the door swinging shut behind us, and waiting for the elevator. The entire time we stood there, Yotsuba didn't say a word. After what felt like an eternity, the metal door opened, and we stepped in. Somehow, the marble floor didn't feel nearly as intimidating this time.

Maybe after being in that apartment all day, I've become desensitized to it?

I pushed the button for the ground floor, and the elevator began to descend. We stood there in silence for a few more moments, and then Yotsuba said, uncharacteristically quietly, "So... what happened out there?"

I shrugged. "We cleared the air."

"I could faintly hear yelling. No words though. Itsuki looked pretty angry though. So did you."

"We cleared the air very passionately."

Yotsuba shivered. "When you say it like that, it sounds more like a lovers' quarrel."

I snorted. "Yeah, right. I have zero interest in things like that."

"Oh. Right..."

We were both silent again, and after a few more moments, I snuck a look at Yotsuba's face.

Another hard-to-read look. I don't really understand what's going on with her right now.

"You know," I ventured, "I thought you'd be a bit happier that we ended up reconciling. That was the whole point of Operation Twintail, right?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? I am happy, Uesugi-san!"

"I... see."

You don't look or sound happy.

We rode the elevator in silence for a few more moments. Then, suddenly, Yotsuba reached up and smacked her own face hard with both hands, surprising me. I started, and stepped back.

"Huh? Yotsuba, what the hell are you doing?!"

She looked at me with visible red marks on her cheeks, and then grinned. It struck me as a bit forced, but at this point I wasn't going to complain -- I was too busy being confused.

"Nothing! I was just lost in thought, which is a bad idea for an idiot like me ! I h ad to snap myself out of it with the only method I know of . "

"...you mean overwhelming violence?"

With a ding , the elevator door opened, and she stepped out into the lobby , spinning on the spot to face me as she did so .

"Exactly!"

I shrugged , and followed her . "You know what? Whatever floats your boat. Uh... how do we open the se doors from the inside?"

Yotsuba leaned against one of them, pressing on a metal bar. "You just push. They're only locked from the outside."

Wait, you can do that?!

The door opened, and we stepped out into the cool night air from which I had only just recently escaped. Together, we walked away from the Pentagon, and to my bus stop a few dozen metres down the street. A strangely pensive look had returned to Yotsuba's face.

"You know, Yotsuba," I said as we walked. "I had a lot of fun today."

"Huh? Oh, good! I wanted to make sure you had a great time! I'm really sorry I wasn't able to make it all the way to the end. I guess I didn't plan for my sisters to eat the snacks too. I'll need to get more next time."

Well, it's nice to get confirmation that there will be a "next time".

I waved away her concerns. "Don't worry about it. You basically went from not studying at all, to studying one hour a day, to studying for like nine hours straight, all in a two week span. It's not surprising you gave out."

"But I really wanted to be able to stand on the same field as you..."

"That makes me happy, but you shouldn't do the unreasonable, you know? Think of it like running a marathon. If you try to do a full forty-two kilometre marathon after only two weeks of training, you're going to injure yourself, right?"

Yotsuba nodded glumly. "I guess you're right..."

Then, she frowned. "Wait, how did you know I ran track in middle school?"

"Eh?! I had no clue! That was a coincidence!"

She got close to my face, squinting at my eyes as though trying to suss out my inner thoughts. "Suspicious. Veeeeeery suspicious, Uesugi-san."

"I'm innocent! I swear!"

Suddenly, the bus rounded the corner, and she was briefly illuminated by its headlamps. Her face bathed in light mere centimetres from mine, I could suddenly see every detail. Her orange hair seemed, for a moment, like fire as its strands were illuminated in a deep white glow. Her pale skin reflected the light almost as if it were laced with diamond dust. Her deep blue irises shimmered like the summer sea, and I saw her pupils contract to block out the light. I felt my breath catch in my throat -- and then, a split second later, her brain caught up to her eyes, and she shielded her face with her arm, and the moment was gone.

Ephemeral.

"Ah, geez, that's bright!"

I turned to the oncoming bus, winced at the sudden increase in luminosity, and raised my hand to wave the driver down.

"I'll see you on Monday, Yotsuba. Do you want to have lunch together?"

She smiled at me, still partially covering her eyes with her arm.

"Yeah... yeah, that would be nice. I'll look forward to it, Uesugi-san."

The bus pulled up to the stop, and I stepped on-board. Yotsuba waved to me, and I waved back, before finding a seat on the surprisingly full public transit vehicle. Then, she was gone, and I started on the long journey home. A few minutes later, my phone buzzed, and I pulled it out to see an email from Yotsuba.

<Veeeeeeeeery suspicious.>

I snorted, emailed back "False accusations!", and then put my phone away. The ride home was uneventful, but when I finally got there, I unwittingly walked into a trap. While I attempted to be stealthy, it was no use -- as soon as I walked in the door, Raiha pounced.

"Onii-chan! Welcome home!"

"I'm back. How was your show? Did the main character die?"

"She got out of it at the last second by being teleported by a new character who was only just introduced in this episode and whose powers were extremely convenient and not at all contrived, but that's not important right now! You went to a girl's house! I wanna know everything!"

I sighed. "Let me at least put my stuff down, Raiha."

"Fiiiine."

I put my bags down in the corner, and sat down at the table. I then looked around the apartment I shared with my family, and a frown settled on my face.

Has it... always been so small?

"Where's Dad?"

"He said he had to pick up an evening shift at the warehouse, so he came home for dinner, and then left again. He won't be home until one, so he said to just go to bed and not stay up for him."

"Ah. Ok, gotcha."

A slight sense of guilt materialized at the back of my mind. While I'd been having fun at Yotsuba's apartment, my dad had been hard at work paying off our debt.

Maybe... I should have taken that tutoring job after all .

"Ok! Now! Tell me EVERYTHING!"

"That's... a lot to tell."

"Did you hug?"

"What? No, that's not why I--"

"Did you smooch?"

"No! I told you--"

"Did you stare into each other's eeeeeeeeyes?"

"Like I just said--"

Suddenly, the image of Yotsuba illuminated mere centimetres from my face, her eyes and mine interlocked, forced itself into my mind. I scowled.

"Stop asking me so many questions, Raiha!"

"Huh? Wait... HUH? You didn't say no to that last one! YOU DIDN'T SAY NO, ONII-CHAN!"

Raiha spent the rest of the evening badgering me with questions about the day, and eventually she got all of the details out of me, including my... discussion with Itsuki on the balcony. She flopped onto the floor, and stared at the ceiling.

"Wow. Onii-chan's love life is complicated."

"What are you talking about? I don't have a love life. This is all purely platonic, and I'd quite like it to stay that way."

Raiha just stared at me. Then, her eyes narrowed.

"Staaaaaaare."

"What? I don't want to have a love life. Also, don't literally say 'stare' when you're staring at people."

"Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare."

I sighed. With Raiha continuing to pester me about my fictional, unwanted love prospects, I brushed my teeth, and then went to lie down in my futon. Eventually, she gave up.

...Eventually.

I laid under the covers, the lights off, and stared at the ceiling immersed in darkness, listening to my little sister breathe rhythmically. Badgering me with questions had tuckered her out. The shadows seemed to swirl as the small amount of moonlight coming through the window made patterns, like the ebb and flow of the sea.

I couldn't sleep.

Something was bothering me.

There was something off about Yotsuba after I came back into the apartment. She was... distant. Did I do something wrong? Did I upset her?

I frowned.

Yotsuba seems like the type to just tell me if I pissed her off. I don't think it can be that.

I grunted, and rolled over.

...Would she tell me though?

With that thought, I sat up and grabbed my phone, the sudden light completely ruining any semblance of night vision I had developed since going to bed. "There's only one way to find out," I muttered to myself, and started composing an email to her.

<Hey. Are you awake? I have a question for you.>

I waited... and waited. Twenty minutes went by without a response. I sighed anxiously, and decided that there was no point in waiting any longer. I put my phone down, and closed my eyes to try and sleep. The darkness of the small apartment, and the sound of my little sister's breathing... these were things that comforted me.

Bzzzt.

My eyes snapped open. Scrambling, I pulled my phone up to see that I had a response from Yotsuba.

<I was about to go to bed. What's up?>

I paused, wondering how to even put into words what was going through my head. Haltingly, I typed out a response.

<You seemed... unhappy on the way to the bus. Did I do something to upset you?>

The response was almost immediate.

<No.>

Staring down at the curt response, I could feel a sudden ball of anxiety rear up in my stomach. Then, my phone buzzed again.

<You didn't do anything wrong .>

The ball of anxiety began to slowly unravel again . I breathed a sigh of relief to myself, but then paused. The way she had worded the message... it almost seemed like someone had done something wrong, and it just wasn't me that had done it .

< Did someone else do something to upset you?>

<...Sort of?>

I frowned. That was vague. What possible reason could she have for not saying anything if one of her sisters had upset her? Then, suddenly, my phone buzzed one more time, and the words displayed on the small screen seemed to reach out to me from the void.

<Can I call?>

I looked around the small apartment, and at Raiha's sleeping form. I made a calculation, and then nodded to myself. I got up, threw my jacket back on over my pyjamas, put on socks and shoes, and quietly stepped outside. I then emailed back.

<Sure.>

I walked down the steps to the street after locking the door, and stared down at my phone patiently. A minute later, my ringtone started playing -- the default tone that had come with the device. The name "Nakano Yotsuba" flashed on the screen, and I picked up.

"Hi, Uesugi-san."

"Hey," I said, staring at nowhere in particular. "What's up? Why'd you want to call?"

Yotsuba was silent on the other end of the line, and I anxiously shifted my weight from one foot to the other. I stared up at the street lamps, their white glow blocking out any possible view of the stars.

"I just... wanted to explain myself."

"Oh. Sure, go ahead."

Yotsuba was silent again. I waited.

"I... don't want to say everything. But... you having to go out on the balcony like that in the cold, all on your own... just because of what I wanted... it brought back some bad memories. It made me feel like I was hurting you with my wishes. I didn't like that. I was feeling guilty."

"...Oh. I see."

Yotsuba was silent on the other end of the line, and after waiting a few moments for her to continue, the silence began to stretch.

"Listen, Yotsuba... going out to the balcony on my own was my idea. I didn't do it because you wanted me to get along with Itsuki -- though making up with her was an additional benefit."

"Then why did you do it?"

" I thought I said at the time -- I didn't want you five to fight because of m y presence . It felt wrong, and Nino was on the verge of going ballistic on Itsuki. "

"But that fighting only happened because I wanted you to come, so we could keep the pressure up!"

"And?"

"That makes the fighting my fault, Uesugi-san!"

"Nope. The fighting was Itsuki's and my fault, not yours. If she hadn't been so stubborn, Nino wouldn't have gotten so riled up. If I hadn't been such an ass to her in the first place, she wouldn't have had any reason to be so stubborn. And besides..."

I trailed off, staring up at the starless black sky.

"Uesugi-san?"

"I had a lot more fun than I thought I would today . I don't regret coming over at all. The positives of the day completely outweigh any negatives from being out in the cold in my mind . Don't worry about it."

"...Are you sure?"

"This is the first time I've studied at a --"

What exactly are we?

"--at a--"

You know what? Screw it.

"--at a friend's house in... actually, I think ever? I had a lot of fun, even with Itsuki and Nino trying to give me heart attacks in their own respective ways. Don't blame yourself for what happened. In my mind, it was absolutely worth it."

There was an extremely long silence from Yotsuba's end of the line, and I started to wince to myself.

Did I overstep by calling myself her friend? We've only known each other for two weeks -- isn't it a bit soon for that sort of thing? Doesn't friendship take more time than that? What should I--

"Maybe you're right," Yotsuba said quietly. "Maybe I don't need to blame myself."

"Of course I'm right. You don't."

I heard a deep breath on the other end of the call, and then a sigh.

"Ok. I'm going to try my best to believe that. Thanks for checking in on me, Uesugi-san. I appreciate it."

I smiled. "Of course. I'm just glad you're not mad at me."

"No, of course not."

"Alright, I'll let you go then. Have a good night, Yotsuba."

Suddenly, I heard a small snicker from her end of the line, and then she said, "Yep. You too, friendo!"

"Hey! You little-- "

Yotsuba cackled on the other end, and then the line went dead. I glared at my phone for a moment, then put it in my pocket and started to walk back to the apartment. As I reached the door, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out to see an email from Yotsuba.

<Thanks. It was fun having a friend over for me too.>

I stared down at the phone, and then a small smile slid across my lips. The ball of anxiety in my stomach was gone, and somehow... I felt a little bit lighter. I re-entered the small apartment filled with warmth and comfort and family, and lay back down in my futon. Just one thought turned itself over and over in my head.

I have a friend.

The rest of the weekend passed quickly. The next day, I spent almost every moment studying, even with Raiha (and my dad, once she filled him in) trying to juice every single detail they could out of me about my time at the Nakano's apartment -- and my conversation with Yotsuba afterwards. Raiha was outraged that she had been asleep during my call. By the time Monday morning rolled around, they seemed to be mostly satisfied with the information they'd gotten.

"So, Onii-chan," Raiha said as we ate breakfast before school. "Are you going to see your friend at school today?"

I paused, my chopsticks hovering in front of my mouth. My eyes narrowed, and I looked at my little sister suspiciously.

"...Yes? Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

Yotsuba's words from Saturday evening rose to the surface in my mind. Suspicious. Veeeeery suspicious.

"Uh huh. Ok. I'm going to choose to believe you for now, Raiha. You definitely wouldn't lie to your Onii-chan, right? Especially not about something like this."

Raiha nervously glanced to the side. "W-What? Of course I'm telling the truth, Onii-chan!"

Well, that's the most suspicious thing yet!

"Uh huh. You know, you're very conniving for an eleven-year old sometimes."

Raiha ignored my comment. "A-Anyways! I have a question for you!"

I ate the food that had been so unjustly stranded between my bowl and my face by Raiha's question. " Go for it ."

"What's her favourite colour?"

I paused. "Probably green, since that's the colour of her bow that she's always wearing."

"Ok! Thanks!"

You know what? I'm going to just let her keep her secrets. I'm sure I'll find out eventually anyways.

I finished up breakfast, thanked Raiha for it, and then I left for school. The cold front that had moved through over the weekend was persisting, and I shivered in my jacket as I made my commute. My hands were shoved deep into my pockets, and by the time I reached the school gates, I was very grateful for the fact that the school was heated.

It's going to be winter before we know it .

I pulled open my footlocker, and changed my shoes. As I stood back up, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. My bangs were messily falling into my eyes, and I took a moment to sweep them to the side, and make my hair at least mostly neat. The cowlick at the top, however, I could never do anything about, no matter how much I tried. I sighed, gave up, and then closed my locker.

Putting my bag back onto my shoulder, I made my way to the classroom. I stepped into the room to find it mostly empty -- only a few of my classmates had arrived, and two out of the three were playing video games together at the back of the room. The third seemed to be having a small nap before the start of class, her hair falling into her face.

I don't know any of their names. Maybe I should make at least a modicum of effort to remember them...?

I paused, then brushed aside the ridiculous thought. My desk beckoned. I sat down, and pulled out my schedule. We, thankfully, did not have physical education today, which meant my odds of being injured by Itsuki were dramatically lowered. Though, my estimation of the volleyball demon's aim had improved somewhat after our badminton match; apart from a bullseye on my nose, her shots had been fairly accurate.

Maybe I'm the problem here. Maybe I just make projectiles home in on me...

I took a moment to consider that I possibly had supernatural magnetic abilities, except I attracted sports equipment, and not objects with macroscopic magnetic dipoles.

Maybe I was bit by a radioactive baseball in my sleep...?

I laughed quietly to myself, and then put away my schedule. First up was math, and so I pulled out my textbook on the subject. Then, as I stared down at yet more trigonometric identities, a thought idly crossed my mind.

Itsuki isn't my... well, enemy is too strong for what she was, but she's hopefully not going to be constantly butting heads with me anymore. I should probably refrain from referring to her as a "volleyball demon" in my head.

I frowned. Where did that name even come from? I don't normally think of people as demons. It just popped into my mind fully formed one day.

My train of thought was interrupted by the door opening and a group of four students coming in together. After their entrance, the room became significantly noisier, and I decided to just stare out the window. A few minutes later, the door opened once again, and I glanced over to see Itsuki enter the room, her bag over her shoulder. As she walked over to her spot, I raised my hand to say hello. She gave me a curt nod, and then sat at her desk.

That was cold. I thought we were over this?

I inquisitively looked at her as she sat down, and noted that her face was a bit red. She also seemed to be fumbling her things a bit as she pulled them out. I frowned, and looked away. Analyzing the situation as I watched the birds flutter about from crimson-red tree to crimson-red tree, a thought suddenly occurred to me.

Ah. Maybe she's nervous, and embarrassed? That would check out with what I know of her personality so far. Going from glaring at me constantly to being extremely friendly seems like it would be a hard switch for her...

I glanced around the classroom.

...She probably also associates this room with being mad at me. I guess I just need to override that somehow.

I sighed. "I'm not good at this," I muttered to myself, lowering my head into my arms on my desk.

A few minutes later, a huge flood of students entered the room, and then finally the teacher entered, and class began. Throughout the morning periods, I was pretty sure Itsuki wasn't staring at me -- if anything, it was only intermittent glances. The hairs on the back of my neck breathed a prayer of thanks, which was impressive, as they lacked respiratory organs.

At lunch, I quickly made my way to the cafeteria, and was surprised to find that Yotsuba was already there. She waved me over to our usual table, and I gratefully put my tray down.

"Hey, Uesugi-san! Good morning! Or, should I say, good afternoon?"

I frowned, pulled out my phone, and then raised an eyebrow.

"It's exactly noon, actually."

"Ah! Well then! Good noon to you, my dear fellow!"

I snorted, and sat down. "A good noon to you as well."

"So," she said, leaning forward. "How have things been with Itsuki? After what happened Saturday, I hope things are better!"

I shrugged helplessly. "She's not radiating hostility anymore, but she's still being very distant. I think she's uncomfortable and nervous about being more friendly with me."

Yotsuba stroked her chin as though she had a long, luxurious beard. "Is that so, Uesugi-san? That is a dilemma, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

"Then there is only one thing you can do, my good sir!"

I raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of my miso. "That would be... what?"

Yotsuba dramatically slammed her hand down on the table, being careful to only lightly impact the surface, as I was still sipping on my soup.

"You must go on the offensive!"

I took another soup, then lowered my soup.

"You're really gunning for that promotion, huh?"

"Huh? Promotion? What are you-- oh, right! Ha, please! If I couldn't do at least this much, I wouldn't be worthy of the eventual title of Corporal!"

I looked down at my rice, and pondered.

On the offensive... huh?

"Hey, Yotsuba?"

"Wazzup?" She said, having stuffed some karaage in her mouth.

"...I think I'm going to invite her to join us for lunch."

Yotsuba suddenly choked on the karaage, and started violently coughing. I hurriedly handed her a cup of water, which luckily she had grabbed with her food, and she gratefully drank it. Blearily, she looked up at me.

"...Eh? You're going to invite her to join us for lunch?!"

"If you're ok with it, that is. I feel like, if we have a positive interaction at school, that'll help shatter the ice."

Yotsuba leaned back in her chair, and stared at me for a long moment. The look that crossed her face could only be described with one word -- conflicted. Then, she stared down at her food for a moment.

Then, she sighed.

"You know what? That seems like a good idea. Are you... are you sure you don't want it to be just the two of you, though?"

I frowned.

"I made plans to have lunch with you. I'm not going to ditch you like that."

"Eh? But I could just go have lunch with my other sisters..."

"No. I want to have lunch with you. Getting Itsuki to come join us is simply a strategic addendum to that."

"Strategic adden-- you know what? I'm not going to ask what that means."

"An 'addendum' is a thing that is additionally added to something else, usually at the end."

"I said I wasn't gonna ask! ...Actually, I guess I didn't ask. Fair play, Uesugi-san."

Yotsuba took another bite of her karaage. Once she'd swallowed it, she nodded, and said. "It's fine with me. Go get 'em, tiger."

"I... don't know how I feel about that phrasing, but I'll be right back. We'll probably need a bigger table, though."

"I'll keep an eye out!"

As I got up to go find Itsuki and started walking away, I glanced back and saw Yotsuba's expression change slightly. It seemed almost... happier? Like something had unexpectedly brought her joy. I had a feeling that I hadn't been meant to see that face.

I walked over to the table that the other four quints usually occupied to find it empty -- but I turned to the cafeteria entrance just in time to see the other four walk in with trays. They made their way over to the table where I was standing, and then Miku spotted me.

"Oh, hi Fuutarou! What are you doing at our table? I thought you were having lunch with Yotsuba?"

Ichika raised a hand in greeting, but Nino just glared at me, and walked past me to put her tray down at the corner of the table furthest away from me.

Wow, petty .

"I was actually wondering if I could borrow Itsuki for a moment?"

Itsuki , who was at the back of the group , raised her eyebrow at my wording, but then turned to look at the others. Ichika and Miku nodded, while Nino simply shrugged, and said, "Do what you want."

She put her tray down, a nd then stepped away from the table for a moment.

"What can I help you with, Uesugi-kun?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to join Yotsuba and me for lunch?"

Itsuki raised both eyebrows in surprise. "Yotsuba's alright with that?"

"So she says." Why would you think that she wouldn't be...?

Itsuki pondered. She glanced over at her sisters, who had all taken their spots around the table, and then over to where Yotsuba was sitting at the other end of the cafeteria. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and then she shook her head.

Ah, is that a no?

"I'll take you up on that, but I'm not going to make a habit of it. I like having lunch with my sisters."

Ah, the shake must have been at something else.

"That's fine -- how you spend your lunch is up to you."

Itsuki walked back to the table and picked up her tray. She said a few words to the others, and I saw Miku pout, and Nino slam her hand into her own forehead in annoyance. Ichika simply looked at me, gave her trademark half-smile, and then nodded. Itsuki returned to me, tray in hand and rolling her eyes.

"Honestly, Nino is so dramatic. Well, shall we?"

I snorted. "She is, indeed, dramatic."

I led the way back to the table.

"Hey, Yotsuba, I'm back. Did you find a bigger table!"

"Aye aye, I did! It's over there!"

"Great," I said, picking up my tray. "Let's go over there."

We moved, and Itsuki sat down next to Yotsuba across the table from me. As we began to eat, I saw Itsuki occasionally take furtive looks at my meal, and I suddenly realized she was thinking back to our first meeting -- and the secret I'd revealed to her.

I wasn't sure exactly what to say to that, so I decided to just continue eating without acknowledging it.

At first, it was a little difficult to engage Itsuki in conversation. However, Yotsuba was as lively as ever, and her chatting eventually acted as a social lubricant, keeping the conversation flowing, and making my life a lot easier.

I'm really glad she's here. This would be so much harder otherwise.

"Hey, Uesugi-san! Do you have any photos of Raiha-chan? I wanna know what she looks like!" Yotsuba pled.

"My phone is quite old, so the camera isn't great. I do have a few though. Here, let me check."

I whipped out my phone, and began scrolling through my photos.

"Ah, here we go. This was taken at a festival back in June. We don't have anything fancy like kimono or yukata, but Dad took us to see the fireworks. It was a lot of fun."

I turned the phone around to show them the photo. My dad had snagged my phone without my noticing, and had taken the picture secretly. Raiha was sitting on my shoulders, a huge grin on her face as the fireworks illuminated the two of us. I had a contented smile on my face, and if you looked closely, you could see the reflection of the faraway blast in my eyes. It was one of my favourite photos of us.

"Ahhhh, she's so cute!! I want to meet her even more now!" Yotsuba exclaimed.

"She... she is very cute," Itsuki said, staring at the photo with a strange look on her face.

"Eh? Hang on! Uesugi-san, you're wearing the school uniform here! Don't you ever wear anything else?"

"...Of course I do," I said, glancing away from them.

"Ah! That's it! Itsuki, that's the face of a liar!"

Itsuki's eyes narrowed. "That is quite the suspicious reaction, Uesugi-kun."

"Look, the school uniform is pretty nice, and it's comfortable. I enjoy wearing it."

"Hey, Itsuki! Do you think Uesugi-san is one of those people? You know, those people who wear clothes even in the bath? I bet he does that even with the school uniform!"

Itsuki's face reddened. "D-Do you mean a..."

I scowled at Yotsuba. "I'm not a never-nude, Yotsuba. I just like the uniform. Stop judging me."

"Hmmmm... I'm going to choose to believe you for now, Uesugi-san. You're treading on thin ice though!"

I frowned. "How would you even ever verify that in a socially acceptable manner? It's an unfalsifiable accusation. It's bad science."

"Huh? That's easy! You just go to a lo--"

Then, Yotsuba's face went red, and she suddenly stopped talking.

I raised an eyebrow at her in mild surprise at her comment, and then sighed, shaking my head.

"Don't say things like that if you're going to embarrass yourself, please. Let's change the subject."

"Yes. Let's. Please." Itsuki said gratefully. I glanced over at her, and saw that her face was a deep crimson red.

The conversation returned to tamer territory, and I eventually finished my meal. Yotsuba finished hers as well, but Itsuki, having had more to begin with, still had some left. She glanced at my empty bowl, and then down at hers. A frown crossed her face, and then, stuttering slightly, she said,

"U-Uesugi-kun. Would... would you like to have some of my karaage?"

Yotsuba stared at her in abject shock. I, however, recognized it for the olive branch that it was.

"Sure, thanks! I've always wanted to try the cafeteria karaage."

Itsuki took a few pieces out of her bowl with her chopsticks, and laid them on my tray. I popped them in my mouth as Yotsuba looked back and forth between us in confusion.

"Wow, that's delicious," I said. "It's almost as good as the karaage we had at that festival."

"Uesugi-san, if you wanted to try some, you could have just asked me! I've been eating karaage every single time we got lunch together!"

"Is that so? I'm sorry, Yotsuba, I'll ask next time."

"There's no point now that you've already tried it!"

I glanced over at Itsuki, and we both chuckled while Yotsuba pouted. Then, a bell rang, indicating that there were five minutes left until the resumption of classes.

"Ah, shoot. We should head back to class."

Yotsuba's pout vanished as she scrambled to gather up her bag.

"Uesugi-san! I'll see you at the library, right?"

"Of course."

" 'Kay. See you later! See you tonight, Itsuki!"

Yotsuba sprinted off, leaving just Itsuki and I behind as we packed up our bags. We left the cafeteria together and walked to our classroom. As we approached it, Itsuki glanced over at me.

"Hey, Uesugi-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for inviting me for lunch. I had a lot of fun eating with you two -- even if things did become a bit... crass at one point."

I nodded. "I'm glad. Shall we?"

She nodded back, and we both entered the classroom. There were some mild murmurings from our classmates as we walked into the room together, but the teacher entered immediately behind us, quickly quelling the whispers. We took our spots, and as I pulled my books out, I could feel Itsuki's gaze on the back of my head again...

But the hostility was entirely gone.

Mission success.

Chapter 9: Ice Cream Fixes Everything, Right?

Notes:

It's officially been a month since I first published this story! Wow, things have moved quickly! We're already at chapter 9. I can't promise I'll keep up this rate of publication (I'm a full time graduate student, after all), but I'm having a lot of fun writing this story. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 9:

Ice Cream Fixes Everything, Right?

The next two weeks passed without incident. Yotsuba and I continued to meet after school every day to study in the library, and Itsuki and I continued to have an amicable relationship in our classroom -- if anything, since we'd had lunch together, I almost felt like she was a completely different person. She was much more friendly, to the point where I overheard at least one group of girls in the class spreading a rumour that we were madly in love and sneaking off to make out in abandoned classrooms.

Idiots.

The rumours didn't bother me, since I frankly just didn't care about what my classmates thought of me. From what I could tell, Itsuki either wasn't aware of them, or she didn't particularly care either. Our continued mutual apathy would, based on my experience, be enough to quell the majority of the rumours within a few weeks -- and so, like most useless things, I quickly put them out of my mind.

O n Friday afternoon, I was in the library with Yotsuba when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw that it was an email from my dad , which was somewhat unusual . I used the opportunity to check the time, and then winced when I saw how late it had already gotten. Putting it away, I turned to Yotsuba.

"Hey, I've gotta head home. Apparently my dad has some exciting news for me."

"Ooh, exciting news, eh? Wonder what that could be. If you're the secret heir to a billionaire who's left you his entire fortune, I demand at least one ice cream!"

I glowered at her. "Says the rich girl. I should be asking you for an ice cream."

"Huh? Uesugi-san, is that your way of saying you want me to buy you an ice cream?"

"I mean, I wouldn't say no to one, but that's not the point."

"If you want ice cream, you should just straightforwardly ask!"

I shook my head. "You know what? Nevermind. I've gotta head home."

Yotsuba laughed. "Alright, see you on Monday!"

I left the school and made my way home quickly. Given it was "exciting" news, I wasn't anxious per se, but there was a certain amount of nerves involved. With my dad, "exciting news" was something good around ninety-nine percent of the time. However, lingering in the shadows was that one percent of the time where it was his way of trying to spin something absolutely devastating. I sincerely hoped it wasn't the latter.

When I stepped into the apartment, my dad was grinning ear-to-ear, immediately confirming that we were in "ninety-nine percent" land, and not "one percent" land. Internally, I heaved a sigh of relief.

"I've got some really great news for you, kid! Come on in, let's have dinner, and I'll tell you both!"

I put my school bag away, and sat down at the table, where Raiha served curry that she'd made. It was pretty spicy, but not overwhelmingly so -- she'd done a good job of balancing the spice and the flavour.

"So, what's the news, Dad?"

My father's grin, if possible, got even wider. "Your old Dad got a promotion at work!"

I dropped my chopsticks in shock.

"Wait, really? That's amazing! What's the promotion?"

"Way to go, Dad!" Raiha yelled, curry on her face.

"So, you know how I told you a few months ago about that manager who got fired for... inappropriate acts in the break room?"

"Ah... yes," I said, glancing aside. My dad had described the event in only vague terms because of Raiha's presence, but from what I'd gathered, a manager had brought his girlfriend into the work break room after hours and had gotten... frisky with her. He had apparently forgotten that there was a surveillance camera in the corner of the room. His termination had increased the workload of everybody left behind, something my father had complained about incessantly since then.

"Anyways, after he left, the big boss decided to hire a new manager to come in and take over the work load -- it's a lot of effort to manage a warehouse of our size, you know. They spent the last couple of months looking, but even though Nagoya is a pretty big city, they couldn't find anybody who fit the bill. This morning, I got called in, and was told that they'd decided to promote internally, and that I'd been chosen! It comes with a pretty serious pay raise -- I'm talkin' something like double the hourly rate!"

My eyed boggled. "Holy cra-- uh, I mean, that's amazing, Dad! Our debt will be paid off in no time!"

"I... think you're underestimating how much we owe, kid. Regardless, it's good money. That's not the only good news though, either!"

"There's more?!" Raiha exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah. There was a promotion bonus involved."

"...How much are we talking?" I said, cautiously.

"Two hundred thousand yen."

I rocked back from the table in shock. "That... that's a lot of money."

"Yep! Obviously, I'm going to put some of that towards our debt, but I figured -- it's money we didn't budget for, so I think it's alright to spend it on some luxuries, you know?"

"I... see." I said, not seeing at all.

"Anyways, I'm going to put some of it aside to buy presents for you two at Christmas, but that still leaves quite a bit. So I had a thought."

...Uh oh. I don't like that look in his eye.

"I'm going to give you five-thousand yen of this, and I want you to take that friend of yours on a date to the festival that they're holding tomorrow at that park nearby."

I looked at my dad for a moment. Then, I processed what he'd said.

"Eh? Eh?! You want me to take that money and do what with it now?!"

My dad pulled out his wallet, and smacked it with his hand.

"I want you to take some of the money, and go have fun with your friend at the festival."

I placed my face in my hand.

"Dad, I can't take the money you worked hard to earn and spend it frivolously like that! It would be completely irresponsible of me! Think how many reference books we could get for Raiha, or we could put that into her university fund! Or we could use that as leverage to re-finance our debt! I can't take that money and just use it for fun!"

"First of all, Fuutarou, you can't re-finance debt with five-thousand yen as leverage. That's not how that works."

"I meant the whole two-hundred thousand..."

"But secondly, it's not frivolous," my dad said, ignoring me. "This is the first time you've talked about having a friend in over five years... actually, a lot longer than that. I think it's important that you spend time with that friend. It's important to not waste your youth."

"But--"

"Also, even two-hundred thousand yen by itself isn't nearly enough to try and get a line of credit for the amount our debt is worth. So don't worry about it."

"But--"

My dad sighed. "Look, if you feel badly about it, take Raiha with you. Then it's an enrichment experience for her too, and she can meet your friend like she wanted to."

"...Eh? Raiha wanted to meet Yotsuba?"

I turned to look at Raiha, who looked furious at our dad.

"Dad! You said you wouldn't say anything about that to Onii-chan!"

"Eh? Did I? Shoot, sorry kid. My bad."

Raiha pouted. Then, she turned to me.

"I do really want to go to the festival though, Onii-chan! Let's go together and watch the fireworks!"

I sighed. Then, I raised my hands in surrender.

"Fine. You win. I'll send Yotsuba an e-mail and see if she's free after dinner."

My dad grinned and went for a high-five from Raiha, but she pouted again and turned away from him, leaving him hanging. He sighed, and dropped his hand back down, and shrugged. Raiha didn't hold grudges for very long, so it was a temporary thing, but being rejected by your daughter was probably something that stung.

He brought that on himself, but... ouch. Poor guy.

I finished my dinner and thanked Raiha for the meal. I then pulled out my phone, and sent an e-mail to Yotsuba.

<Hey Yotsuba, Raiha and I are going to the fireworks festival this Saturday. Would you like to join us?>

A few minutes later, my phone buzzed in response.

<Thanks for the invite, Uesugi-san! I'm already going with my sisters though... maybe they'd be ok with you joining us? Should I ask?>

<If that's ok with you.>

<Ok, I'll ask! I definitely want to meet Raiha!>

<Ok, let me know.>

About fifteen minutes later, my phone buzzed again with her response, distracting me from my post-dinner study session.

< Miku, Itsuki, and Ichika are fine with it, but Nino says "hell no" , and she's the one who organized everything . Sorry Uesugi-san :( >

< Ah. It's alright. Nevermind then.>

I sighed. I guess that's that then.

"Hey, Raiha -- bad news. Yotsuba said she's already going to the festival with her sisters, and the one who hates me vetoed us coming along."

"Ehhh?! I thought you made up with her though?" Raiha said, distressed.

"No, that was the other one."

"Two of her sisters hated you?! I thought it was just the one! What the heck did you do, Onii-chan?!"

With all of their badgering over the last two weeks, I have absolutely no grasp on what I've told them and what I haven't .

"I had the audacity to be friends with Yotsuba, and Nino didn't like that," I said, shrugging.

Raiha wilted. "Oh... That's too bad... I was really looking forward to the fireworks..."

"What are you talking about, Raiha? Just because Yotsuba isn't coming doesn't mean we can't go."

She popped back up. "Wait, really?!"

"Yeah. We just can't spend the five-thousand yen, so we'll walk around and look at everything, and then watch the fireworks. How does that sound?"

"That sounds awesome, Onii-chan! I'm so excited!"

Raiha started happily bouncing around the room (and not doing her homework). I smiled at her, and then glanced at my dad, who was reading a book in the corner. He looked up at me and gave me a thumbs up, before going back to his book.

I guess I have something to look forward to on the weekend after all. Raiha and I always have a great ti--

Bzzt.

I looked down at my phone to see an email from Yotsuba.

<Do you want to do something on Sunday instead? I really want to meet Raiha!>

I perked up, and then sighed. "I'm going to be there too," I muttered to myself.

"Huh? Did you say something, Onii-chan?"

"Yeah, I just got a follow-up email from Yotsuba. She wants to go do something on Sunday instead, since she wants to meet you."

"She wants to meet me? O...Ok!"

I thought she wanted to meet Yotsuba? I guess she's getting nervous.

"Ok, I'll let her know," I said, and began to compose an email.

<Sure, sounds great. Anything in particular in mind?>

<Does Raiha have anything in particular she wants to do?>

I felt a stab of irritation. "Raiha, she wants to know if there's anything in particular you'd like to do."

"Hmmm... I think I wanna go see a movie!"

"Yeah? What movie is that?"

"The Five Piece Movie! It just came out in theatres, and I really wanna see it!"

"Raiha... you watch way too much anime. I don't think Yotsuba will want to watch that, and I definitely don't want to watch that."

"Pleeeeeease, Onii-chan!"

A brief war was fought in my heart, and the doting big brother side won after a quick, yet brutal bout of mortal combat. I sighed, defeated.

"Fine. I'll ask her. Don't be too upset if she says no, though."

I pulled my phone back up, and emailed Yotsuba.

<Raiha says she wants to go see the new Five Piece movie. It's fine to say no to that -- I don't want to, but she's making me agree under duress. I have a knife pressed to my throat. Send help. Ahhh!!>

<Sure! Sounds like fun! Also, I gotta teach you some Jiu Jitsu so you can escape from this deadly situation!>

I stared down at my phone in shock. Then, creaking like a rusty door, I turned to Raiha.

"She... said... yes?"

"Yay! I'm so excited, Onii-chan!"

"So, uh... this is the anime involving those pirates with magic, right..?"

"What? No, Onii-chan, that's One Piece! Come on, they have absolutely nothing to do with one another!"

"...Oh."

Those names are way too similar.

After that, Yotsuba and I e-mailed back and forth to settle on a time. We decided to meet outside the nearest mall at eleven am on Sunday, in order to catch the eleven-thirty viewing of the Five Piece movie. My Dad gave his seal of approval for the date (and the utilization of the five-thousand yen on Sunday) and I decided, exhausted, to call it a night.

The next evening, Raiha and I went to the festival. We rode the bus together to the park, and I was shocked at the massive crowds that had formed. It was to be expected though, I supposed -- it was probably the final fireworks festival of the year, given it was almost October. The thick crowds made me slightly uncomfortable though, since it would be very easy to lose Raiha.

"Hey, Raiha, do you want to ride on my shoulders like you did at the festival in June?" I said, looking down at her. "I'm a bit worried about losing you in this crowd."

"Huh? But Onii-chan, you were standing still for that. Aren't I too heavy for you to walk around with? You're kind of a wimp, after all."

"That... is true. Let's just hold hands then."

"Ok!"

Raiha held my hand, and we walked around the festival admiring the lights and the various stalls. We walked past a stall that involved scooping fish with a paper scooper, and I could viscerally feel the absence of any money in my pocket, save for the coins for the bus home. Raiha looked at it for a moment sadly, and then we continued on.

As we were passing a stall selling yakitori, I felt a buzz in my pocket. Using my free hand, I pulled out my phone to see that I'd received an email from my dad.

<Look in your wallet.>

I stared down at my phone.

"Are you friggin' kidding me?"

Annoyed, I put the phone away, and then pulled out my wallet. We had used the coins for bussing here, so I hadn't even considered opening the pocket for bills. I opened the damn thing -- and lo' and behold, there was a thousand-yen bill in there that I had no memory of having obtained. Scowling, I emailed a response.

<Why.>

<My kids are going to a festival in the evening. It's my duty as a father to make sure you can at least enjoy some of the festival food.>

<Why did you sneak it into my wallet, though?>

<Would you have taken it without arguing if I just gave it to you?>

<Touché, Dad. Touché.>

I put my phone away and sighed.

"What's wrong, Onii-chan?"

"I keep telling Dad not to waste money, and then he just throws it around the second he has any."

"I know, right? I'm the one who does the household finances, remember? It's pretty annoying!"

We looked at each other, and then both laughed.

"Well, he gave us a thousand yen, so... do you want to go and try to catch some fish?"

Raiha's eyes lit up. "Really?! Yes!"

I took her hand again, and we turned around to return the fish.

As we were walking there, I was looking at the stalls we were passing, and the whole world seemed to slow down for a moment. The gap in between two tents, where I could see the next path over... as we passed it, I saw Yotsuba's face going the other way, her hair rippling around her face as she laughed. Then, she was gone.

Oh, right. She was coming with her sisters.

We got to the fish-catching stall, and Raiha made a valiant effort to gently scoop the fish out -- alas, her efforts were in vain, and after spending five hundred of the thousand yen, she gave up. I was secretly grateful for her failure, as taking care of a fish would have required us to buy a fish tank, which would be expensive. I knew all about the poor health consequences of putting fish into too-small tanks. I wouldn't subject a festival fish to such a fate.

"Ughhhhh, I'm so frustrated!" Raiha complained as we walked. "Let's get some okonomiyaki to make us feel better!"

"Sounds good," I smiled. "I could use a snack to distract me from the pure pain and misery of witnessing the dastardliness of the fish."

Raiha looked up at me, her eyes narrowed.

"Are you making fun of me, Onii-chan?"

"Yep. But I love you anyways, despite your fishy failures. Let's get some snacks."

Raiha puffed out her cheeks. "I love you too, Onii-chan, but you're a jerk!"

I laughed, and then we walked to the okonomiyaki stand. As we ate our savoury pancakes -- only two-hundred and fifty yen each! -- I checked my phone for the time.

"It's almost time for the fireworks to start. Shall we go look for a good spot?"

"Oi fnk dsa gddea."

"Swallow your food first, Raiha."

Raiha swallowed, and then said, "I think that's a good idea. I wanna get a great view!"

We walked together to the designated spot for viewing the fireworks, which had already swollen with people. I gripped my little sister's hand tightly, and we managed to manoeuvre our way to the edge of the plaza, where there were benches. I climbed onto the bench so I could see over the crowds of people -- but it wasn't quite enough for Raiha to be able to see.

She's pretty small for her age, huh?

I knelt down on the bench, and helped her onto my shoulders, just as we'd done at the festival earlier in the summer. Then, I stood up, Raiha towering over the congregated crowds.

"Wow, Onii-chan! I can see the whole crowd! Haha, that guy over there has a toupee!"

"Raiha, that's rude to point out, some people have autoimmune disord--"

I was interrupted by a loud blast, and I looked up at the sky to see a blossom of fire in the air as the first firework exploded in a red burst. It was followed up by a blue circle that for a moment resembled a character from a famous video game. The explosions carried on, each firework more impressive than the last. Raiha was laughing and screaming in delight, but after the seventh or eighth firework, I found myself scanning the crowd around me, almost unconsciously. My eyes wandered to the empty spot on the bench next to me.

"Onii-chan, did you see that last one? It looked like a poop emoji! Haha!"

I snapped back to attention, and then frowned. "What's an emoji?"

"I'll tell you later. Wow, that one was a rabbit! Cuuuuute!"

I forced my attention back up to the fireworks. They really were impressive this year -- a city's final goodbye to summer, the promise of a dutiful preparation for the oncoming autumn and winter. Whoever had planned the thing had really gone all out. Yet, somehow... my heart wasn't in it. Before long, the fireworks came to an end, and the crowd began to disperse.

"I'm just going to wait until the crowd clears up a bit more, and then I'll let you down, alright Raiha? Doing it when it's still crowded would be a bit unsafe."

"Sure thing. Ahhhh, that was awesome!"

As Raiha chattered behind my head, my eyes were drawn to the crowd again, looking over every person there...

Searching.

Stop that, you idiot.

As a gap opened up in front of the bench, I took the opportunity to carefully step down. I then knelt to the ground, and Raiha slid off my shoulders.

"Good job holding out for so long, Onii-chan!"

I shrugged. "I can do this much for you, at least."

The crowd continued to disperse, and so with Raiha in tow, we slowly diffused our way out of the plaza and back towards our bus stop. We eventually caught the bus to our home, and as we rode the gently rocking public transit vehicle, Raiha slowly fell asleep on my shoulder. I smiled gently down at her, and let her rest.

I almost felt guilty when we got to our stop and I had to wake her up. Blearily, she followed me from the bus stop to the apartment. I let us in, and found the apartment empty, with a note from my dad saying he would be back at around one in the morning again -- he had taken a few extra shifts before his promotion to manager kicked into effect.

The table had already been put away, and our futons were out, so Raiha and I brushed our teeth, and then she collapsed into her futon. Within a matter of seconds, she was asleep. I, however, lay under my covers staring at the ceiling for almost an hour before finally falling into a fitful sleep.

Something about that festival... felt deeply unsatisfying.

The next day, I slept in slightly later than I intended to, but still awoke with plenty of time to spare before we needed to leave to meet Yotsuba. Raiha was still snoring, so I decided to make breakfast instead of her. After all, while Raiha did most of the cooking in the house, that was mostly because she wanted to -- not because I was incapable. I could make a perfectly serviceable meal, at least to my palette, if I needed to.

Nothing on par with Nino though .

Maybe the sizzling of the frying pan was louder than I had thought, because as I was halfway through making food, Raiha woke up with a giant yawn and a stretch.

"Good morning, Onii-chan. What'cha cookin'?"

"Omelette. Nothing fancy. I was up before you, so I decided to make breakfast."

"Ooh, exciting. I'm looking forward to it!"

"Would you mind waking up Dad? I'll be done in a few minutes."

"Sure!"

As I flipped my omelette, Raiha roused my dad, who stared up at me in shock.

"Eh? Fuutarou, you're cooking breakfast?"

"Why are you acting surprised?"

"It's just... it is surprising, that's all! I don't remember the last time you cooked."

"It's been... a long time," I said.

A few minutes later, the futons were put away and the table was out, and I was serving three beautiful omelettes. Raiha and my dad tore into their with abandon, but I ate mine more slowly. It had turned out as well as I'd hoped it would -- the soft, fluffy egg giving way to the melted cheese inside.

Yup. Still got it.

After we finished eating , Raiha and I both got ready, and my dad very dramatically handed me five thousand-yen bills. I rolled my eyes, and shoved them in my wallet. Then, Raiha and I left for the mall. As we rode the bus there, I emailed Yotsuba that we were on our way. When we finally got off, I led Raiha to a small clock tower located in the centre of a fountain. We sat on the concrete ring that served as the lip of the fountain, and I glanced up at the intricate analogue clock above our heads.

10:55. We're a little bit early. Oh well.

Raiha kicked her legs back and forth against the concrete, and as I looked down at her, I could tell she was nervous. I pulled out my flashcards, and started drilling on English vocabulary to pass the time until Yotsuba arrived.

"Hey! Onii-chan, no studying!"

"Why not? There's not much else to do while we wait, is there?"

"I... I guess not..."

Raiha seemed dejected. I felt a little bad, so I stowed the cards.

At 11:03, I saw a green bow in the distance. It rapidly increased in size, approaching at a high speed through the crowd. When it got close enough, I could finally see the redhead underneath who was power-walking towards us in a mild panic.

"U...Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba panted as she pulled to a halt in front of us. "I'm sorry I'm late!"

I stood up, and stretched. "Don't worry, we just got here."

"Eh? Uesugi-san, isn't that the classic date line that means you've been here for an hour already? Did I keep you waiting that long?!"

I smirked. "No, we literally only got here eight minutes ago."

"So precise! Were you keeping track to see how late I'd be?!"

"Absolutely not. I would never do such a thing."

Yotsuba stared up at me with narrowed eyes, suspicion written across her face. I suddenly felt a hand on the back of my shirt, and I glanced down over my shoulder to see that Raiha was hiding behind me.

I guess she was scared after all .

"Oh, by the way, Yotsuba. This is my little sister, Raiha. Raiha, come out and say hello!"

Raiha nervously stepped out from behind me.

"H...Hi... Nakano-san..."

Yotsuba's face lit up like she had just won the lottery.

"Just Yotsuba is fine! It's nice to meet you, Raiha-chan! You're just as cute as Uesugi-san said you were!"

"...Onii-chan said I was cute?"

"Yep! He showed us a picture of you too, from a fireworks festival! "

She looked up at me. "I guess Onii-chan has a nice side to him too sometimes."

"...What do you mean by sometimes , Raiha?" I said, staring coldly down at her.

"...You can be a bit of a jerk sometimes too, Onii-chan."

"Right?" Yotsuba laughed. "He told my sister she was going to get fat when he first met her!"

"He really said that?" Raiha said, looking away from me towards Yotsuba.

"Yeah! It took drastic measures for her to forgive him, I gotta say!"

"Is that the thing with the balcony?"

Yotsuba grinned cheekily.

"Aha! You know the deep lore, my petite friend!"

Raiha seemed to relax at Yotsuba's cheery demeanour, but I had a scowl across my face. I don't know how I feel about them bonding over making fun of me. I'm glad they're getting along, but...

Yotsuba seemed to notice my displeasure, because she changed the topic. "So, should we go get our tickets?"

"Yeah!" Raiha said, excitedly reminded of the ostensible purpose of our trip today. "I'm really excited for this movie!"

"Are you a big fan of Five Piece, Raiha-chan?" Yotsuba asked as we started walking towards the theatre.

"Yeah! It's probably my second favourite anime after Pretty Sailor Magical Girl."

"Ooh, you also watch Pretty Sailor Magical Girl? I make a point of watching that every Saturday morning! I also really like Five Piece -- the romance that's been blooming between Makato and Kusumi over the last arc is really beautiful."

"Right?!" Raiha said. "They're perfect for each other -- just the right amount of chemistry and playfulness! I love watching them."

As the two chattered on about anime that I hadn't watched, I felt a distinct sense of being excluded. I could obviously see that the feeling was an immature one though -- the whole point of today was just to make my Dad happy, and to let Raiha and Yotsuba have a good time. As we walked through the door of the movie theatre, I mentally reviewed the English words that Raiha had forbidden me from actively reviewing by the fountain. In the absence of real flashcards, mental ones would have to do the trick.

I paid for all three tickets over Yotsuba's protests, letting her know that it wasn't my money, it was my dad's. Something about that seemed to resonate with her, because she stopped protesting -- though she insisted on buying popcorn for us all. With snacks firmly in hand, we made our way into the theatre. The room was dark with the pre-movie ads playing. Raiha sat down in between Yotsuba and me, and the two of them excitedly talked about the events leading up to the movie. I tried to follow their conversation... but a lot of it seemed incomprehensible to me.

Are they even speaking Japanese?

My gaze absent-mindedly wandered about the room. The demographics of the people in the room were fascinating. It seemed that the main audience for this anime were teenage girls, women in their mid-to-late forties, and men in their twenties.

I... don't think that actually gives me any new information about the anime though.

Suddenly, the ads ended, and we were plunged into darkness. Then, dramatic music swelled, and we were treated to some beautiful animation of an ocean vista... and then characters who I didn't recognize were on screen. From what I could gather, the anime was a reverse-harem magical girl anime with time travel, and also laser swords. One of the members of the harem w as very clearly out in front, though.

Apart from that, the plot was absolutely incomprehensible. By the forty-five minute mark , I could tell that some theme or conflict that had probably been built up in the anime itself was being resolved -- mostly by Raiha and Yotsuba's very energetic reactions. When the main couple finally kissed on the battlefield, the whole audience erupted into cheers. I had to admit that the art and animation was very well done, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I simply wasn't getting the same emotional appeal as everyone else.

This... feels like back when I wouldn't study before a test. I don't like it.

As the credits rolled after an hour and a half , I glanced to my right to see that Raiha was in tears, and Yotsuba was comforting her.

"I just can't believe it's over!" she bawled, with Yotsuba rubbing her back, her eyes misty as well.

"What a beautiful resolution to their arc," the redhead sighed. "I'm so moved!"

This was a complete waste of time. I could have been studying instead -- we have midterms in two-and-a-half weeks.

The lights came up, and the audience began to filter out. We left, with Yotsuba and Raiha both debriefing about the movie. I trailed behind them, mentally reviewing English words in my head again. As we emerged into the main hall of the movie theatre, Yotsuba turned to face us.

"Do you guys want to go walk around the mall for a bit?"

"Sure!" Raiha exclaimed.

"That sounds fine," I said, devoid of enthusiasm.

Yotsuba caught my eye, and I saw a strange look cross her face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"Come on then!" she said, leading the way. "Onwards! To adventure!"

"Adventure!" Raiha echoed happily, following her.

"Adventure..." I said half-heartedly, before following after them.

I'm being way too gloomy. This is just going to drag them both down. Come on, Fuutarou, snap out of it. You're acting like a child.

I quickened my pace to catch up to the two of them. We exited the movie theatre, and entered the adjoining mall. The place was rather lavish -- the ceiling was a chic modern style, a series of interlocking white arches with intricate patterns. Interspersed amongst the arches were banners with various advertisements on them -- one for perfume, another for a clothing brand. The place was strangely cavernous, with the sounds of the congregating crowds echoing around the place.

"Wow, this is cool!" Raiha said. "I've never been to this mall before!"

"Eh, really?" Yotsuba said, confused. "Isn't this the biggest mall in town, though?"

"We... don't really go to shopping malls too often," I said, glancing aside. "That said, the architecture is fascinating."

"I see," said Yotsuba. "Well then, let me show you around!"

We dutifully followed Yotsuba about as she showed us the various shops. Raiha was delighted by them, especially when Yotsuba took her into a clothing shop and they tried all sorts of outfits on together. I dutifully stood there and gave my opinions on the various outfits -- and some of them were quite cute, while others were quite stylish. Overall, though, I spent the majority of the time on my own while the two of them changed or were picking out clothes. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't really see an obvious way to participate, short of picking out clothes for myself -- and the shop wasn't a unisex store.

Not my cup of tea, personally, I thought to myself as I eyed a long flowing black dress.

At about two , the desire to eat outweighed the desire to wear cute clothes . Yotsuba bought an outfit for herself, and one for Raiha, which she excitedly accepted. With the clothes folded into two very fancy looking bags, we finally made our way over to the food court for some lunch. The place was sprawling, with myriad tables and restaurants. I eyed my wallet -- there was still enough in there for me to get lunch for the three of us.

"Does anywhere in particular look good to you, Uesugi-san?" Yotsuba asked.

"Hmm... Ah, there's the place that does sandwiches. Maybe there? Does that sound good to you, Raiha?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, let's do that then, if that's good with you, Yotsuba."

"Yep!" she said. "Let's go!"

We made our way over to the line, and ordered our sandwiches, which were custom made on the spot. As we waited to pay, Raiha seemed to be getting antsy.

"I'm gonna go find us a table!" she said, and ran off.

"Wait, Raiha! It's crowded in here, come baaaaand she's gone."

Yotsuba laughed. "She's got a lot of spunk, huh?"

"Yeah," I muttered darkly. "She does."

For the first time that day, Yotsuba and I were alone. There was a silence between us that was almost... awkward. Then,

"I'm sorry, Uesugi-san."

I glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Why are you apologizing?"

Her ribbon was drooping as she looked up at me.

"I can tell that you're really not having a good time. I feel bad about it -- I wanted you to have fun too!"

I briefly debated denying it, but I didn't particularly see a point. It's better to just be honest with an idiot like her.

"It's true that I'm not, but that's fine. I wanted Raiha to have a good time, and it seems like she's having a blast. That's what's important to me."

"But--"

"Next!"

I turned to face the cashier. "Hi, yeah. Those are ours."

"Do you want a cookie or a drink with those?"

I turned back to Yotsuba. "Do you want a cookie or a drink?"

"...No."

I turned back to the guy. "Nope, we're fine, thanks."

"Alright, that'll be 2800 yen."

Geez, that's pricey! I thought fast food was supposed to be cheap?

"Uesugi-san, I can pay for my own..."

I waved her concerns away, frowning. "Absolutely not. You bought Raiha that outfit, the least I can do is cover your lunch. Don't worry about it."

I handed the cashier the cash, which was the majority of the remainder of the money my Dad had given me. He handed me back my (limited) change, and then we took the sandwiches and began the hunt for Raiha. Luckily, she wasn't too far away -- it also helped that she was waving frantically at us.

The sandwich was pretty good, all things considered. Yotsuba was quiet at first when we got back to the table, but Raiha's enthusiasm bled over to her, and eventually they were back to their incomprehensible conversation. I just ate my food, and mentally finished my reviews.

Artisanal... artisanal... ugh, what was the Japanese word for that again?

Eventually, Yotsuba and Raiha finished their meals as well, and Raiha demanded that we continue exploring the mall. Yotsuba gave me a worried look, but I just nodded.

I'm not going to ruin her day.

As we were putting our trays away, a thought crossed my mind.

"Oh, by the way, I thought I saw you at the fireworks festival. How did it go?" I asked.

Yotsuba made a face. "Terrible!"

"Huh? Why? I thought the fireworks were pretty good this year." Not that I was really paying too much attention to them.

"Not because of that," Yotsuba said. "Ichika ditched us for work and missed the fireworks at the last minute, and because of that Nino was angry the whole time. She still won't tell us what she's doing that was so important. Nino even rented out the roof of a hotel for us to watch them from!"

Ah. That explains it.

"That's too bad," I said sympathetically as we start ed to walk back to Raiha. "There's always next year though, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so..." she sighed.

"Yotsuba! " Raiha cried. " Let's go check out that store over there!"

"Oh! U -Uh , sure!"

Yotsuba got dragged away by Raiha. I sighed, and then followed.

Through the rest of the afternoon , Yotsuba and Raiha tried on some more clothes, and I continued to zone out. Yotsuba seemed deeply troubled, giving me furtive glances. I noticed she was asking for my opinion more, and trying to get me more involved, which I appreciated -- but there was simply a hard upper limit on the amount I could participate, given the situation. I wasn't about to drag them to the stores that interested me -- if I took us to a bookstore, for example, Raiha would inevitably be bored, even if she put on a brave face , and I didn't want that . I also didn't want to ditch them to wander off on my own.

Before I knew it, it was 5:00, and Yotsuba's phone went off. She picked up, had a short conversation, and then sighed.

"That was Nino. She wants me to come home now, so that I'm there by the time dinner is ready. I've got to head out soon."

"Awww, ok," Raiha pouted. "I had a lot of fun today, Yotsuba-nee!"

"Ahhh, did you heard that, Uesugi-san! ? I'm Yotsuba-nee! I've always wanted to be called that!"

"Didn't Itsuki ever call you that?" I asked.

"...You're joking, right?"

"Does this look like the face of a man who makes jokes?" I said, purposely deadpanning as much as I could.

"No," giggled Raiha. "Onii-chan is jokeless."

"Hey, I've heard Uesugi-san make some pretty good jokes ! " Yotsuba said, defending me.

"Those were accidents," Raiha said. " Coincidences , in fact."

"Rude," I growled, bonking her lightly on the head.

"Hey! Don't bonk my head, Onii-chan!"

"We should probably go too then. Thanks for coming, Yotsuba."

"...Yeah," Yotsuba said, looking at me with that upset look in her eyes again.

I said don't worry about it. Raiha had a good time, that's what I care about.

Raiha and I started to make our way to our bus stop, when...

"Hang on a second!"

I turned back around to see Yotsuba with her hand stretched out, her bow wilted.

"...What is it?"

"Would you be willing to wait... just five minutes?"

I looked down at Raiha, who nodded.

"Yeah, that should be fine. We're not in a rush. What's up?"

"Just... wait right there. I'll be right back."

Yotsuba dashed off, and Raiha and I looked at each other in confusion. We waited by the doorway, the crowds flowing past us. Yotsuba was nowhere to be seen. Finally, five minutes later, the redhead came dashing back to us.

"Welcome back," I said with a raised eyebrow. "What was that about?"

"I have something for you, Uesugi-san."

Yotsuba handed me a small paper bowl with a plastic spoon. Inside of it were two scoops of chocolate ice cream, the sort with chocolate shavings in them. I looked down at the gift in confusion, and then looked back up at her.

"Since you didn't end up having a secret billionaire uncle leave you his fortune, I guess the ice cream duty remains on my shoulders! Shi shi shi."

Then, she pulled closer to me, and whispered in my ear, "I'm really sorry about today. I didn't mean to make you feel left out. That was my bad."

"I told you, Raiha was happy, so--"

"Your goal might have been to make Raiha happy, but my goal was to make sure you had fun, and I completely failed at that. So this is my apology."

I was suddenly hit bit a wave of emotion. I looked down at my feet and took a second to regain my composure.

"I... Thank you. I... really appreciate it."

Yotsuba pulled back, and grinned at me.

"Congrats, Onii-chan!" Raiha smiled, not having heard any of the conversation. "You got chocolate from a girl, and it isn't even Valentine's day!"

I rolled my eyes at her as I began to eat my ice cream.

"We should probably go now, though. I'll see you tomorrow, Yotsuba," I said after having swallowed the ice cream that was in my mouth.

"Bye, Yotsuba-nee! I had a lot of fun!"

"It was great meeting you, Raiha! See you, Uesugi-san!"

Yotsuba waved goodbye as we left the mall, and we caught the bus home. Raiha and I sat at the back, and as the scenery rolled by outside, I slowly ate my ice cream and zoned out. The crisp autumn colours outside reflected the fact that it was finally October, and the chocolate flavour felt strangely... nostalgic.

Maybe today wasn't a complete write-off after all.

"Hey, Onii-chan, can I have some of your ice cream?"

"No."

Notes:

-nee is a casual ending meaning "big sister". Raiha calls Itsuki a variant of this in the manga.

Chapter 10: Wait, Midterms Are A Thing?!

Chapter 10:
Wait, Midterms Are A Thing?!

On Monday, I found myself awake at the crack of dawn. Cursing my premature consciousness, I rose and began preparing for the day. My movement inadvertently woke up Raiha, who decided that if she was awake, our dad had to be awake, and if our dad was awake, that meant it was time for breakfast.

After eating, I decided to just leave early instead of spending the extra half-hour or so studying at home. I got to school well before the usual time, the grounds quiet as I walked through the front gate. The footlocker area was devoid of any other students, and so I pulled my shoes off and changed my footwear in the eerie silence of a place normally full of the noises of daily life. I took a moment to fix my hair in the mirror, and idly noticed that it was starting to get a little longer than I would typically like.

Time to go to the Raiha salon, I suppose...

Closing the footlocker again, I glanced around the empty room, pondering what exactly I should do in the time I had until classes started. I decided to just go study at my desk. I made my way through the sparsely populated (but not deserted) hallways until I reached my classroom. Sliding the door open, I was surprised to see that the room wasn't empty -- a star-spangled redhead was idly staring out the window.

"Huh, you're here early. Good morning, Itsuki."

She started, and whipped around. "E-Eh?! Oh, Uesugi-kun, it's you. Good morning. You gave me a bit of a shock there."

"Is that so?" I said, walking to my desk. "Sorry about that. I didn't think there was going to be anyone else here yet this early."

"Surprise!" Itsuki said drily.

"Why are you here this early, out of curiosity?"

"I... don't want to say. It's a bit embarrassing."

"That's fine, you don't have to tell me. Suit yourself."

I sat down at my desk, and pulled out my schedule for the day. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Itsuki lower her head to her desk, and stare down at something -- presumably, her head was so low in order to prevent me from seeing what she had hidden there. Her face seemed scrunched up, like she was trying to read something.

"You wouldn't happen to be studying, now would you?" I idly said, twirling a pencil between my fingers.

"W-What? Why would you think that? I definitely didn't come here early to find some time to study alone so that my sisters wouldn't find out!"

"That's... way more specific than anything I said. Come on, Itsuki, you're not fooling me."

"Urgh... How did you know?"

It doesn't exactly take a genius to figure that out... and I am a genius, thank you very much.

"Call it intuition. What's with the sudden urge to study? Worried about midterms? I approve."

"Well, I'm very glad you approve," Itsuki said sarcastically, dropping all attempts to hide the textbook hidden beneath her arms. "It's not about that though. Well, maybe a little bit -- I don't want to fail, after all."

"Something else bothering you?"

"Why do you care, Uesugi-kun? You don't seem like the type to normally stick your nose in other people's business."

Actually, that's a great point. Why do I care?

I furrowed my brow in thought, and glanced away from Itsuki to look out the window. Contemplating, I watched the birds flitting around the trees, and the grey October sky filled with clouds. The answer seemed to be right on the tip of my tongue...

Oh. So that's why.

That's unexpected.

I glanced back to her.

"Isn't wanting to help a friend in trouble a normal thing?"

Itsuki raised an eyebrow. "Are we friends?"

"I don't know. Are we?"

The silence suddenly got awkward. I just looked at her, and eventually, she sighed.

"Fine, if you insist."

"Huh? Why are you making it sound like you're doing me a favour?!"

"I am doing you a favour! I'm a great person to have as a friend!"

"Ah, is that so?! I'm looking forward to the benefits package then!"

We glared at each other for a moment, and then Itsuki burst out laughing. After a moment, I started chuckling along with her.

"This is stupid, huh?"

"Yep," I replied with a slight smile. "Pretty dumb, all things considered. Who fights over whether or not they're friends?"

"Right? Anyways, I guess I'll tell you what's bothering me, since you want to know that badly."

I ignored her jab and leaned on the desk behind me, using my right hand to support my chin in a slightly exaggerated "I'm listening, and also I'm very wise" pose.

"So," Itsuki began, "Last night, our dad surprised us by swinging by the apartment after dinner. He had something important he had to tell us."

Last night? So right after Yotsuba got home from the mall, I guess.

"He told us that, after looking for about a month, he'd finally found a tutor for us. Which is... good. None of us are particularly... academically inclined."

"By which you mean you're dumb?" I said. Itsuki scowled at me.

"You don't have to say it like that!"

"Sorry, sorry. Please continue."

"Anyways, at first we were all fine with it, more or less. Yotsuba was a little ticked off. However, then our father revealed that the tutor in question is in our grade! Can you believe that?!"

"Wow, shocking," I said.

"...Why do you sound not shocked at all?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Ugh, fine. Anyways, apparently the tutor is the second overall student in our grade, which Nino took offence at: 'aren't we worth at least the number-one student in the grade?', that sort of thing. I'm pretty sure she's going to give the tutor absolute hell about that when we have our first session this afternoon."

"You know," I said, frowning, "she definitely would not have been fine with number one in the grade."

Itsuki gave me an odd look. "Anyways, apparently he tried to get the number-one student in the grade, but he declined, so we're stuck with number two. I don't know why our father didn't just get a professional tutor, but Nino does have a point -- if we're going to have someone from our grade, why should we settle for second best?"

"Well," I said, stretching in my chair, "sometimes the person in second place brings an extra passion and fire to learning that first place doesn't have."

"I... guess that makes sense?"

"Not that I'd know anything about that. You said the first session was this afternoon?"

"Yeah."

"So... how does this relate to you getting to school early to study?"

Itsuki frowned. "I want to improve my grades with my own abilities and hard work. Not with the help of some guy who's paid to help me. If I studied like this at home, though, I'm a bit scared Ichika and Nino would make fun of me for being too keen."

"I can respect that. There's nothing wrong with getting some help though. At least, that's what I think. I didn't get to where I am entirely on my own brains and hard work. Just mostly my brains and hard work."

"Riiight."

"Anyways," I said, leaning back in the chair. "Forget about Ichika and Nino. This number two person probably put a lot of work to get into their position. There's almost certainly a lot you can learn from them, if you give it a chance."

"But I want to do it with my own pow--"

"Trust me, Itsuki," I said darkly. "A tutor alone isn't going to do anything to save you unless you put in the work yourself. A tutor can only teach those who are willing to learn."

"Eh? What's with the tone shift? Also, why do you sound like you're speaking from experience?"

"In general, if you're an idiot, you just have to work twice as hard so that you're not an idiot anymore."

"Stop calling me an idiot!" Itsuki pouted.

"I'm not, I'm talking about my past self -- but also, you are an idiot. If you study a lot though, maybe you won't be anymore."

"Regardless, it still would have been better to get the number-one student..."

"I'm sure they had their reason to decline."

Suddenly, the classroom door slammed open, and a swarm of people entered our classroom.

Tch. Noisy.

"Good mooooorning! Huh? Nakano-san and Uesugi were in here together?! Oh my god, I bet they were making out! Wait until Hayachin hears about this!"

I rolled my eyes as Itsuki's face turned a bright red.

"We're sitting like three desks away from each other, you blithering morons," I said to the five girls who had entered ("five", upon further inspection, was an insufficient number to constitute a swarm.)

The girl who made the initial comment turned to her friend.

"Hey, Yumachi, what does 'blithering' mean?"

"It means he's insulting us, you dummy. How did you even get into this high school?"

"Ohhhh... hey, rude!"

"I...It's more rude to make up rumours about people!" Itsuki said, attempting to come to my defence.

"Eh? Oh, sorry Nakano-san. Of course you'd be upset we were shipping you with a gloomy loner like Uesugi! My bad!"

Itsuki's eyes widened. "That's not what I mea--"

"Oh, hey, girls!" one of the others said, interrupting her. "Let's get some drinks before class! We're, like, never here early enough to get some!"

"Good idea, Mucchin! Wow, the power of sleepovers is amazing -- I don't think I've ever been to school this early!"

Chattering, the throng of girls exited the room again, leaving Itsuki and I alone together. She slowly turned back to me, eyes widened.

"Is... is that normal for you?"

I shrugged, turning away and leaning back in my chair. "Nah, that was pretty tame. They even apologized, which is rare."

"Yeah, to me. Not to you!"

I shrugged again. "Such is life. I've elected to be completely apathetic to their collective existence, and they mostly leave me alone. It's not like I get bullied."

"Yeah, but--"

"Itsuki," I said, glancing back at her. "It's fine. I'm used to it."

"It's not fine! How are you ok with that?!"

"I've been putting up with it for five years. Admittedly, the last year and change has been a bit rough, but I just ignore it."

Itsuki just shook her head. "Those girls are awful."

"I honestly don't even think it's malicious. My feelings just aren't really something that's part of the calculation. Usually I just get ignored."

"That's worse, though! You see how that's worse, right?!"

"Not... really?"

Itsuki buried her head in her hands. "Nevermind."

"Uh... ok."

Baffled, I turned back to the front of the class. There were a few minutes of silence while Itsuki grumbled into her arms, and then the girls returned. They noisily set up camp in a corner of the room, and then more students began to filter in. Eventually, the teacher arrived, and class began. Throughout the lesson, a familiar gaze was trained on the back of my neck. I just sighed.

Staring at the back of my neck isn't going to magically make me get along with our classmates, Itsuki! If it were that easy, I would have done it already!

Then I paused.

Ha. Actually, no I wouldn't. Screw those guys.

I twirled my pencil between my fingers as the teacher expounded upon the connection between trigonometric identities and physical modelling.

I have absolutely zero desire to get along with those Neanderthals. Actually... that's probably rude to Neanderthals. We don't actually have any idea of their level of intelligence. Maybe they were quite intelligent? There are signs of interbreeding between humans and them, after all, so--

"Uesugi-kun, could you come solve this problem on the board?"

I snapped out of my reverie, and stood up.

"Yes, Sensei."

I took a moment to scan the board to understand the problem, since I had (uncharacteristically) been somewhat distracted. It was a simple problem -- to use the trigonometric identities we'd learned in class in the analysis of the motion of a simple harmonic oscillator. Picking up a piece of chalk, I quickly solved the problem, and then began walking back to my seat.

"Ah, well done, Uesugi-kun! As expected of the number one student!"

I paused.

Ah. Shit.

I looked at Itsuki, who's eyes widened. I took a seat at my desk, pretending she hadn't just understood the implications of what the teacher had said.

I'm going to get an earful later.

The glares I could feel from my classmates were palpable, but I ignored them in favour of simply returning to my textbook. I could feel one more glare on the back of my neck, but this one was obviously different from the others. I could almost just feel the words radiating off of Itsuki:

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL MEEEEEEEE?

I scowled as I swiftly caught up on the notes I'd missed while zoning out. After that, the rest of the class went by quickly. When lunchtime came, I got up and hurriedly left the classroom before I could be interrogated.

I believe this is what people refer to as "running away".

As I walked out of the classroom, Itsuki glared at me, and then began furiously typing on her phone. I blanched, and stepped out of the door. Putting the sense of impending doom out of my mind, I made my way to the cafeteria to get my lunch. Or perhaps, with Itsuki out for my blood, it was my last supper. Last lunch. Whatever.

I stepped into the cafeteria, and suddenly a siren went off, wailing through the room and grabbing everyone's attention. I slowly, fearfully, turned to my right to face the source of the racket. Standing there was a mysterious figure wearing a giant pair of pitch-black aviator sunglasses. To her chest was pinned a plastic constable's badge. Over top her head was held a phone, from which the siren was blaring. On the screen was a video of red police lights, flashing like a strobe light.

"Uesugi-saaaan! I'm here to detain you, on suspicion of perjury!"

"I... I'll come quietly," I said meekly. But my lunch!

"Good!" Yotsuba said, grinning and twirling a pair of plastic handcuffs on her finger. "I wouldn't want to have had to use these!"

Where the hell did she even get those?!

Yotsuba led me out of the cafeteria, and down the hall to an empty classroom. Inside, I was seated at a desk, and then Yotsuba popped back out again after telling me to stay put. I was alone for a few minutes so, naturally, I pulled out my flashcards and began drilling English vocabulary. After I had just got past prejudicial, the door was flung open, and Constable Yotsuba walked in, followed by...

What the hell is this?

Itsuki was dressed up in the exact same garb -- including the aviators and the plastic constable's badge.

"Alright, Uesugi-san, fess up to your crimes!" Yotsuba cried, slamming a metrestick that she must have grabbed from somewhere onto my desk.

"My crimes? I... I see. I ate a pudding that Raiha had been saving. I'm so sorry!"

"You monster! How could you do that to Raiha?!"

"I know!" I cried. "It was the penultimate sin!"

"I don't know what that means, but indeed it is!"

"Uh, Yotsuba," Itsuki interjected. "That... isn't what we're interrogating him about."

"You didn't tell me what we're interrogating him about, so I'm gonna press him for everything until he squeals!" Yotsuba said, letting out a devilish laugh.

"Wow, she's really getting into character," I said to Itsuki.

"Maybe a little bit too much," she sighed, taking off the aviators. "Take it down a notch, Yotsuba."

"S-Sorry... Wait, no! We gotta press him for the goods!"

I raised my hands. "I'm innocent, chief! I swear!"

"Yeah, yeah, save it for the judge, buster!"

I turned to look at Itsuki. "Who's the judge?"

"I... have no idea."

As Yotsuba threateningly smacked the metrestick against her hand, Itsuki grabbed another chair and sat across the desk from me. She leaned forward, her elbows on the table and her hands forming a steeple in front of her face -- the quintessential "I'm not mad, I'm just asking questions" pose.

"Uesugi-kun, please give me a straight answer. Why didn't you tell me when I brought it up earlier?"

"I have no idea what you're talking abo--"

"Don't play dumb, please."

I sighed. "Look, I just didn't think it was relevant information. My decision wasn't even personal -- I didn't know who you were at the time. I was just focused on other priorities, and also the offer came at a bad time. I wasn't thinking straight, and I was also pissed off."

"Ok, but why didn't you tell me when I brought it up?"

"I figured you would get upset, so I just kept it to myself."

Yotsuba looked back and forth between us, her face unreadable because of the aviators -- but her bow, with its independent animation, gave her confusion away. "What are you guys talking about?"

Itsuki turned to look at her. "We're talking about the fact that Uesugi-kun is the number one student in the grade."

"Eh? I could have told you that. Why are we interrogating him over that?"

"Wait, you knew?" Itsuki said, bafflement written across her face. "How?"

"You saw his test score too, didn't you? He got 100%. There was no way he wasn't at the top of the class."

"Urgh... I guess that makes sense."

"Also, the scores from the final last semester were still up for a few weeks after we arrived, and Uesugi-san was at the top. I saw it after one of our study sessions."

"I... never noticed that."

"So, again, why are we interrogating him over this?" Yotsuba asked, raising her aviators to her forehead to reveal the confusion in her eyes.

"Because of what him being number one means!"

"I... don't get it," Yotsuba said, tilting her head to the side.

"It means the one our father first offered the tutoring job to was him! He turned it down!"

"Oooh!" Yotsuba said, nodding. "I see. Well, that sucks. I bet you would have been a great tutor, Uesugi-san!"

"Thanks, but I don't have time to tutor five idiots at once. My own grades would suffer. That's why I turned it down."

Yotsuba turned to Itsuki. "Actually, come to think of it, maybe that's a good thing after all. Imagine how Nino would react if he became our tutor."

Itsuki's face went pale at the thought.

"I did say she wouldn't have liked it," I said, snickering. "I just didn't say why."

"You...!"

Itsuki growled at me, and then she sighed and put her head in her hands. "You know what? Nevermind. This was pointless."

"I agree," I said. "I'm starving. Can we get lunch now?"

At that exact moment, Itsuki's stomach grumbled, and her face went red.

"Uh... maybe that's a good idea," she said, sheepishly. "You should have still told me, though!"

"Sorry, sorry." I said, raising my hands in an apologetic manner.

I stood up, and Itsuki followed suit, a slightly dejected look on her face.

"By the way," I said to Yotsuba, "Where'd you get all the cop gear?"

"Borrowed it from the drama club!" Yotsuba grinned. "It was super short notice too, I ran over there as soon as I got Itsuki's text!"

Wait... Itsuki sent that text as I was leaving the classroom. That was a matter of minutes... how freaking fast is this girl?!

Briefly dazzled, I followed the two out of the room, and back to the cafeteria. We got our food, and then walked over to the quintuplets' usual table. Ichika, Nino, and Miku were all there already.

"Hey," Ichika said, waving us down. "What happened? We got here, but you two were nowhere to be found. Also... what's with the police outfits?"

"It was..." Yotsuba paused dramatically, "an INTERROGATION!"

"I... see," Ichika responded carefully.

"Help," I said. "I'm deeply traumatized."

"What did you two do to poor Fuutarou-kun, hmm?"

"Interrogated him!" Yotsuba said happily.

"You're being dramatic, Uesugi-kun." Itsuki sighed. "All we did was drag you to an empty classroom and..."

She trailed off as she realized how that sounded. Nino glared at me, while Miku started giggling.

"Phrasing, Itsuki," she said, one hand on her headphones. "You wouldn't want us to get the wrong idea about you two."

"Please, as if." Itsuki said, rolling her eyes. "These two were the ones flirting the whole time."

I just rolled my eyes in turn, while Yotsuba protested, her cheeks slightly red. "Hey! We were not! That was a serious interrogation, you jerk!"

"Yeah... I'm gonna go now," I said drily. "You know my feelings on that subject. Enjoy your lunch, girls."

With that, I began to stride away, but Yotsuba caught my wrist.

"Hey, I gotta tell you something before you go!"

"Yes...?"

Yotsuba sighed, an annoyed look suddenly crossing her face. "I'm not going to be able to join you in the library after school on Mondays and Thursdays anymore. My dad's insisting that I go to tutoring sessions with some guy he hired. I told him I'd probably learn more by just studying with you, but he said I had to."

"That's fine. Make sure not to give Second Place-san too hard of a time, ok?"

"That's... a really mean nickname, coming from you, but got it!"

Yotsuba let go of my wrist, and I made my way to my usual table in the corner of the cafeteria. A few of the groups near me began laughing quietly as I sat down, and I thought I heard at least one siren sound effect play, but I just ignored them. I pulled out my flashcards, and continued where I'd left off.

With the first half of the lunch period having been consumed in a perjury investigation, I had precious little time to have my lunch. I was forced to scarf my meal down, instead of enjoying it at my usual leisurely rate. I sighed to myself, staring down at the empty bowls in front of me.

Looks like it's gonna be a bad afternoon.

I put my tray away, and trudged back to the classroom. The second half of the day was a bit of a blur -- by the back end, my stomach's growling was distracting me from the lecture. At one point, it gurgled particularly loudly, to the point where a few people around me noticed and stared at me.

I sighed and lowered my head to my desk.

The lecture on the usage of ATP in cells just flowed over me like a summer's tide, water being pulled up onto the beach by the gentle tug of the moon. With my head down, the darkness made it a little bit easier to block out my stomach, and just listen to the teacher speak. I tried to process as much as I could, relegating the task of creating notes to my study session after the class.

"Uesugi-kun, are you awake?"

I raised my head, wincing slightly at the sudden influx of light, to see the teacher staring at me.

"Yes, Sensei. You were just saying that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell via its production of ATP."

"Ah. I see. Good. Are you alright though?"

"I'm fine. I appreciate the concern Sensei. I'm just a bit tired."

"I see. Carry on then."

The teacher returned to his lecture, and I returned to my temporary sanctum. As I lowered my head, the back of my neck prickled as Itsuki engaged in her favourite hobby -- staring at me. I couldn't tell what she was thinking though, since the back of my head was woefully devoid of eyes, and also I lacked mind-reading abilities.

Those would be really useful sometimes.

As the bell rang to let out class for the day, I blearily raised my head, and then packed my bag. I nodded at Itsuki, and then left the room to head to the library for my study session. As I made my way through the halls, the hunger gnawed at me, making my stomach growl loudly. Cursing that I hadn't grabbed food before being interrogated, I slid the door to the library open, and settled down at my usual seat.

The grey natural light coming through the small windows near the top of the wall was almost completely drowned out by the fluorescent lights that, with their long bars, made up every other tile in the ceiling. The mixture of the two, in their ninety-ten concentration, gave the library a strangely empty feel, more-so than just the absence of people.

I don't like it.

I pulled open my mathematics reference book, and flipped far past the trigonometric identities upon which we seemed to have stalled -- a mere introductory section of this university textbook. Instead, I jumped to ordinary differential equations, a subject far more advanced than what we had been doing in class. Twirling my pencil in my fingers, I set myself to work on the problems listed at the back of the section.

Time passed slowly as I worked my way through the (relatively) simple problems. Suddenly, I came across a fairly amusing problem -- one in which the solution spelled out 'pizza' in English, with the Greek letter 'pi' instead of the 'pi' in pizza. A joke by the author, no doubt. A silly one, but nevertheless worthy of at least a chuckle.

"Hey Yotsuba, look at this--"

I looked up at the empty chair across from me. Then, I frowned.

Oh. Right. Idiot.

I sighed, and returned to my work.

Midterms are in just under two and a half weeks. I need to work harder.

I frowned down at the page in front of me, and then continued on to the next question. It was strangely difficult to concentrate, like something was stealing my attention away, pulling it away from the problems by force. It wasn't just my growling stomach, either. I took a moment to lean back from the page and stretch.

I looked around the library, the only sound the ticking of an analog clock somewhere behind the shelves. Unconsciously, my mind wandered back to the walk I'd taken a month before to the park on the hill -- to the grey silence that had defined the early morning with no one there, where I'd found a different, comforting kind of loneliness.

This... This is the wrong kind of loneliness. This is the kind of loneliness that sticks to your bones and sinks deep in, like a damp wind off the sea. I don't like this kind. There's no comfort in it.

Feeling mildly disturbed, I shook my head, throwing such thoughts away. Useless. I don't have time for this sort of thing.

I returned to the problem set, and began making slow by steady progress. Within about ten minutes, my pencil lowered, having finished the last of the set.

One set down. Now just four more to go...

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the library door opening and then shutting. Someone was invading my sanctum. I tensed up, not sure what to expect.

What I certainly didn't expect was for Itsuki to walk into the room.

I frowned at her. "Itsuki? What are you doing here? I thought you had your tutoring session this afternoon."

"I do," she said, walking over to the table. "It starts in about half an hour. I have just enough time to get home beforehand. I'm going to go, but I wanted to bring you this."

She extended her hand, and placed something down in a free space amongst my textbooks. I looked down at it to see that it was a chocolate bar. I looked back up at her, confused.

"Why...?"

She shrugged. "It was my fault you had to eat your lunch so quickly. I know that you normally try to eat it slowly, so that it fills you up more. I figured I should try and make up for it. I'm sorry."

I looked back down at the chocolate bar, astonished. She definitely heard my stomach.

"That's... really nice of you. Thank you."

Itsuki seemed a bit taken aback by my sincerity, but then she shook her head.

"Well, I did promise you that I was a good person to have as a friend. I can't exactly let a friend study while hungry, right?"

"I... huh. I guess that is a pretty decent benefits package. Well played, Itsuki. Well played."

She smirked, then turned around. "Anyways, good luck with your studying, Uesugi-kun. I need to go to my tutoring session now. If he's terrible at his job, I'm blaming you!"

"That... doesn't seem fair, but I will gratefully waive my right to complain in exchange for this chocolate bar."

Itsuki laughed, and then she left. The library was empty again, but the silence from before had been shattered. I looked down at the chocolate bar, and then slowly opened it. I lifted a piece up to inspect it in the light -- it looked like it had pieces of nuts in it. Looking back down at the torn package, I pulled the foil back to read the front.

"A chocolate bar with hazelnut and almond, huh? I've never had something like this before," I murmured to myself. I broke off a square, and put it in my mouth, letting it dissolve on my tongue.

It's pretty good. As expected of a foodie, I guess.

I slowly ate the rest of the bar, making sure to savour every last bite. Once the final bit was gone, I laid back in the chair, and looked around me The library was exactly the same as before... but somehow, with my blood sugar no longer cratering, the emptiness felt less bleak. I smiled down at the wrapper.

"It's good to have a friend."

Then I got up, and tossed the empty wrapper in the garbage before returning to my seat. I leaned back in my chair one more time, and closed my eyes. The sound of the ticking clock, the faint noise of the trees rustling outside the window, my own breath. It still wasn't comforting, but somehow it seemed less... permeating. I glanced back down at the problem set I had just finished, and then circled the pizza problem in my notes.

"I'll just tell her about it tomorrow."

I glanced back up at the bookcase behind which Itsuki had vanished.

I hope the tutoring goes well.

"If it doesn't, Itsuki's gonna kill me," I muttered out loud.

Chapter 11: Wait, You're Not Ready For Midterms?!

Chapter 11:

Wait, You're Not Ready For Midterms?!

That evening, I was getting ready for bed after having had my bath, when my phone started buzzing madly. It was like it had gone wild, vibrating repeatedly against the floor as though possessed by a demon. Raiha stared at it from her futon in shock, and I fearfully reached towards the shaking monstrosity.

What the hell is going on?

I picked up the vibrating phone, and looked at the screen. I had seventeen new emails. One of them was from Yotsuba, from right after I had got into the bath. The other sixteen were from an address I didn't recognize. I opened Yotsuba's first.

<That didn't go how I'd hoped.>

I stared down at the message, confused. Then, trembling, I returned to the main page to see that another two emails had arrived from the other address. I scrolled down to the first one, and opened it.

"InsiderMay..." I said quietly to myself, frowning. "Who the hell is that?"

The first message just had one word.

<YOU>

I exited back out, and then read them all, more arriving by the second. Eventually, I had a full phrase.

<YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL FOR A BAR OF CHOCOLATE, UESUGI-KUN. AS PER OUR DEAL, I MUST HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW MUCH OF A WASTE OF TIME THIS TUTOR WAS.>

I read the full thing, and then shook my head.

"Are you kidding me?" I muttered to myself. "You blew up my phone for this?"

"Onii-chan? What... what is it?" Raiha whimpered.

"Itsuki being an idiot. One moment," I said, typing my response.

<Hey, Itsuki. Can you send that all as one email next time? You blew up my phone, and scared Raiha.>

I sent it off, and about thirty second, I got Itsuki's response.

<No.>

I scowled down at my phone, and then turned it off to avoid any more explosions. I put it away in my bag, and then turned off the lights and laid down in my futon.

"Apparently, their tutoring went quite badly," I said. "I'll probably get the details tomorrow. Itsuki decided to take out her frustration by blowing up my phone."

"Oh. I see. Are you going to tutor them instead, Onii-chan?"

"Me? Hell no. Not a chance."

"Oh... ok. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Raiha."

I stared at the ceiling, the dancing patterns of the shadows calming me down. Within a few minutes, I could feel myself drifting away... and before I knew it, I was awake and it was morning. I sat up with a groan, and stared around me. Both Raiha and my dad were awake -- Raiha was cooking breakfast, while my dad was reading a newspaper. Where he'd gotten it from, I had no clue.

"Oh, hey. You're awake, kid. Mornin'."

"Good morning, Onii-chan!"

I rubbed my eyes. "Good morning. What're you cooking?"

"Toast and eggs."

I eyed her up. "You're making toast... in a frying pan?"

"Yeah! I wanted to see if it would work! It does!"

"...Alright."

"What's with the skepticism, Onii-chan?! Try one!"

Skeptically, I picked a piece of toast up off the plate she handed me. I spread some butter on it, and had a bite. It was shockingly good.

"I apologize, Raiha. This is great."

"Right?!"

I glanced down at the phone that was laying on the floor near my bag. As I munched on toast, I realized that I had never responded to Yotsuba's text the night before.

Ah well. I'll get the full story from her today.

After eating the meal that Raiha had made, she and my dad departed for her elementary school, and I departed for my own school. As I was approaching the front gates, I was not remotely surprised to see a black car of foreign make rolling up. It pulled to a halt, and the door opened to allow five girls to get out.

"Morning!" I said, surprised at my own cheerfulness.

Ichika turned and gave me a small wave before walking into the school grounds. Miku gave me a nod before following suit. I watched the two of them go, and then suddenly realized that I hadn't yet received my customary glare from Nino. I turned to look at her to see that she had a completely absent-minded look on her face -- like she hadn't even processed that I was present. The look on her face could only be described as anxiety. She walked away without even acknowledging my greeting.

"That was weird," I said to myself quietly.

"Good morning, Uesugi-kun..."

I turned back to see Yotsuba and Itsuki both looking absolutely drained. I eyed them up and down, and then winced.

"The tutoring session was that bad, huh?"

"Y...yeah," Yotsuba said, her characteristic cheerfulness markedly absent. We began to slowly move towards the school as we talked.

"So... what happened?" I said.

"The tutor arrived, and it basically just went downhill from there," Itsuki sighed. "His name is Takeda Yuusuke. First of all, Miku, Ichika, and Nino all refused to join us at first -- Ichika said studying makes her sleepy, Miku refused on principle apparently, and Nino just said she refused to learn from number two. So the first hour or so was just Yotsuba and me. That... did not go well."

"That guy's so stuck up!" Yotsuba said, genuine annoyance in her voice. "The first thing he did was give us a small quiz to test our level, which was fine, but then he spent like ten minutes chewing us out for our level of preparedness. He said we wouldn't even pass the entrance exams!"

I frowned. "How is that even possible? Didn't you pass the entrance exams to transfer here?"

Yotsuba and Itsuki were both silent for a moment, and my jaw dropped.

"You didn't pass the entrance exams?"

"C... Correction," Itsuki said, not making eye contact with me. "We didn't take the entrance exams. We might have passed if we tried!"

'Hehe... Our dad is apparently friends with the principal," Yotsuba said, embarrassed.

I sighed as we approached the school doors. "I forgot how rich you lot are. Ok, so what happened after that?"

"So, I took up arms in our defence after that," Itsuki said, "and told him that his job was to teach us, so that we could pass the entrance exam if need be. He seemed a bit stunned at that, and then reminded us that his job wasn't to make it so that we could pass the entrance exam, it was to make sure we passed the midterm, which was significantly harder. He then started on a monologue about how he was the number two student in the grade, and so if there was anyone who could get us to pass, it was him."

"Conceited prick," muttered Yotsuba, her face dark.

I glanced over at her. I didn't think I'd ever seen her looking this pissed off.

"You're just saying that because of what happened later," Itsuki said, frowning. "I haven't even reached that part yet."

"Oh boy," I breathed in. "It gets worse, huh?"

"Yep," growled Yotsuba.

"Anyways," Itsuki said, "it was bad timing for him to give that speech, because Nino happened to have left her room to grab one of her magazines off the bookshelf downstairs, and she heard his little monologue."

I snorted. "Oh no."

"Yeah, she... did not take kindly to that. She started verbally laying into the poor guy, telling him that he thought way too highly of himself for just being number two, and that he only had the job because number one had declined it. Bear in mind, I actually hadn't yet had a chance to tell her the identity of number one in the grade. He didn't like that, and so he told her that he would soon unseat the number one student, who was his 'eternal rival', or something like that. He said it really dramatically, too."

"I bet he's a chuuni!" Yotsuba said, a little bit of her energy coming back.

"So," Itsuki said, blatantly ignoring Yotsuba's remark, "Nino said that she refused to learn from anyone except number one. At that point, somebody pointed out that she wouldn't learn from number one either."

"What?! It's true!" Yotsuba complained.

"Nino asked her what she meant, and Yotsuba spilled the beans that you were the number-one student. Nino got very angry at that, and started complaining that if number one and number two were useless, there was no point in learning from any of them. That set off the tutor, and they just spent the next twenty minutes yelling at each other, and absolutely nothing got done. Eventually, Takeda-san said that if Nino was so high-and-mighty that she could only learn from the top student in the grade, she should take the placement test he'd devised, and see how well she did. Ah, hang on -- let's break and keep talking in a couple of minutes."

We'd reached the footlockers, and so we each respectively went and quickly changed out footwear before reconvening.

"So, she did -- and she absolutely bombed it," Itsuki said. "She did worse than both of us, and he just let her have it after that, saying that she was in absolutely no position to be picky about who tutored her. So they kept arguing again, and eventually I had to remind him that Yotsuba and I were there too, and still wanted tutoring."

"This sounds like a nightmare," I sighed.

"Right?!" Yotsuba said, the pissed-off look having returned to her face. "It was a complete waste of time -- I usually get more done in a couple hours at the library with you than I did in like four hours with this guy!"

"You weren't there for the full four hours, Yotsuba," Itsuki frowned. "Anyways, after that, we got back to studying, with Nino basically being held hostage against her will and forced to study. Eventually, the tutor got extremely frustrated, and asked how the hell we'd been wasting the last six weeks. I told him that there was a learning curve coming to this school compared to our old one, and Yotsuba said she'd been studying every school day with a friend for the last month and a half, and she wasn't wasting time."

I frowned. "I bet he took that well."

Itsuki snorted. "Yeah. Sure. He asked what pedigree this 'friend' had, and Yotsuba dropped that the friend in question was the number-one student in the school -- which wasn't a very mature thing for you to do, Yotsuba."

"He was being a jerk! He had it coming!"

"I agree, but it was still immature."

"Probably, but it was worth it to see his face." Yotsuba said. Then, her face scrunched up in anger at the memory. "After that, he just lost it. He went on a whole rant about how you had only won your position temporarily, and that it would soon return to where it rightfully belongs -- that a 'peasant' like you, his words, not mine, could never hold that kind of position long term, and that you were just keeping the seat warm for him. He said that, because of that, the tutoring we got from him was `far superior to anything Uesugi-kun could possibly provide'. That smug bastard!"

"Yotsuba quit the tutoring session after that," Itsuki said disapprovingly, "leaving just me and Nino behind."

I stared at Yotsuba as we started to make our way towards Itsuki's and my classroom. She looked up at me defiantly, before suddenly looking a bit embarrassed, and glancing away.

"I... just didn't like how he was insulting you," she muttered. "Ah, I should head to my classroom. See you at lunch, Uesugi-san! Bye Itsuki!"

She dashed off, and I got a distinct impression of a rabbit running away for its life as her ribboned head bobbed into the distance. I smiled slightly, and then glanced back at Itsuki, who just shook her head disapprovingly.

"It's been a long time since I've seen Yotsuba that angry," Itsuki said. "She put up with it for about two and a half hours, but eventually she just snapped. After she left, I suggested that we call it a night -- but he declined, saying he had been contracted for a certain number of hours, and so he would go for a certain number of hours. So, Nino and I were subjected to another hour and a half or so of him attempting to teach us. It was awful."

"Geez," I said, shaking my head as I opened the classroom door. "If I'd known it would be that bad, I never would have accepted the chocolate bar. It was delicious, but it's not worth the liability for that."

Itsuki smiled. "I'm still holding you responsible. You're going to need to make up for it somehow."

I shrugged. "Alas. 'Tis the fate of a man who hath been damned for his sins."

She rolled her eyes as we walked over to our desks. "How dramatic of you, Uesugi-kun."

The room already had a number of people in it, and a few whispers started as we walked in together, but we both just ignored them. I saw the same group of girls as the day before whispering to each other as they glanced at us, but I just raised an eyebrow at them, and they shut up quickly. I sat down at my desk just as the teacher walked in.

The rest of the morning passed relatively quickly. At lunch, I ate with Yotsuba, and I studiously avoided bringing up the topic of the disastrous tutoring session the evening prior. My lunch partner, it seemed, was only too willing to oblige, and so the entire lunch break went by without any further elaboration on the topic. Instead, we just talked as usual. Yotsuba didn't seem upset anymore. If anything, she seemed to have over-corrected from her previous depressed state -- she was... almost hyper. It was mildly disconcerting.

"Hey, hey, Uesugi-san! Check this out! I made a tower out of karaage!"

I stared down at her plate where, indeed, there was a tower of balanced karaage about five pieces tall.

"Wait, wha-- how? No, hang on. I have a more important question. Why?"

Yotsuba laughed. "It's like exploring the stars, Uesugi-san! I must explore because it is there! I must build so that they will come! I must stack karaage!"

"That physically just shouldn't be happening. You don't have a toothpick through there, do you?"

"Huh? A... A toothpick? Of course not, Uesugi-san!"

I narrowed my eyes. "You know, I was joking, but now I'm suspicious."

Yotsuba looked away and attempted to whistle, but instead made a sort of fwwwwt sound with her lips. I stared at her, and then cracked up chuckling.

"What the heck?! Do you not know how to whistle?"

"Hey! I never learned! It's harder than it looks!"

"I'll teach you. You've gotta do a better job than that."

"Huh? Wait, really? Ok, I'll do my best!"

"Ok," I said, putting down my chopsticks. "The first thing you need to do is round your lips, like this."

"Like this?" Yotsuba said, pursing her lips like she was going in for a smooch.

"No, not like that, that's way too much. Like... like you're trying to play a clarinet."

"I've never tried to play a clarinet though..."

"Me neither, but try it anyways."

Yotsuba attempted to make a face like she was wrapping her lips around the mouthpiece of a woodwind instrument, but given her lack of experience, her face just looked a little silly.

"Ow, that kind of hurts my mouth..."

"You've got to develop your embouchure."

"My what?"

"Your ability to train those muscles to hold that position. Try it again, and blow air out."

Yotsuba tried again, and a piercing note came out, a high C. Her eyes lit up, and she started blowing harder.

"Uesugi-san, Uesugi-san! I whistled!"

"Good! Now, try moving your tongue around while you do it, and adjusting the speed you blow at, so that you can make different notes."

Yotsuba tried, and was able to make a few other notes, though it was still a bit rough. She seemed pretty happy though, as she made different noises.

"Shi shi shi, I bet I can probably whistle better than you now, Uesugi-saaaan!" She said, grinning at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"I sincerely doubt that."

"Let's hear it then!"

I leaned back in my chair, smirking. Unbeknownst to Yotsuba, this was something I was actually quite good at. I closed my eyes and begin to whistle the theme to Star Trek: The Next Generation, a show that I had watched with my dad many years prior. I included the various trills, and was entirely on-pitch the entire time. When I finally opened my eyes again, Yotsuba was staring at me.

"Well?" I said. "Still think you can whistle better than me?"

"No," she sighed. "I bow to your superior skill, Sensei."

I grinned. "Ah, the words I love to hear most in the world. Please, give me more compliments."

"Your whistling is amazing, Sensei!"

"More!"

"It was truly spectacular, Sensei!"

"Yes! Lay it on me!"

"Fantastic, incredible, sensational!"

Yotsuba and I both started laughing, and Yotsuba accidentally bumped the table. As she did so, her whole karaage tower fell, and landed on the tray -- and stayed together instead of falling apart. I stared down at it, then looked up at her with a knowing smirk on my face.

"No toothpicks, huh?"

Yotsuba immediately grabbed it, shoved the whole thing in her mouth, and then turned away from me. There was the sound of something wet being moved, and then she turned back to me, her mouth full of karaage. I noticed her surreptitiously hide something in her bag as she did so. Then, she chewed, and swallowed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Uesugi-san!"

"Liar," I said, laughing.

"Hurtful! Disgraceful! Shameful!" Yotsuba cried.

"Yes! Lay it on me!"

We both laughed again, and then the bell rang to return to classes.

"Ah, boo," Yotsuba said. "I guess I need to go. Are we still good for the library this afternoon?"

I smiled. "Yes, of course."

"Great! See you then."

Yotsuba departed, and I stayed behind a few more minutes to finish up my food. I glanced over at the table where the rest of the quintuplets usually ate. To my surprise, Nino was still there by herself. She was sitting facing me, and I could see that she was just staring down at her food with a dark expression on her face. Not angry, just... dark. I watched as she moved it around with her chopsticks, but didn't seem to move it up to her mouth at all.

I'm surprised the others left her alone...

I got up to dispose of my tray, carrying it to the rack where staff members would eventually take it to be washed. I started walking back towards the doors, and as I did so I glanced back over at the quints' table. Nino was hunched over her food. I debated going to talk to her, but... I figured that I was the last person whose presence she would appreciate. Also, her issues were none of my business. So, I decided to just leave.

I got back to the classroom a few minutes before the bell rang. Most of my classmates were already at their desks, the room full of the chatter of bored teenagers. I set my bags down on my seat, and then went over to Itsuki's desk, where she was reading over her notes.

"Hey, Itsuki," I said, "I have a quick question for you."

At the mention of her name, Itsuki jumped almost a foot in the air, and then turned to look back up at me.

"Geez, Uesugi-kun, you scared the heck out of me! Let me know you're there first!"

"I... did."

"...Oh," she said, her face going red. "Uh... what can I do for you?"

"I was just curious. Is Nino ok? She looked really distraught as I was leaving the cafeteria."

Itsuki sighed. "I'm not really sure. She won't talk about it. Clearly, the tutoring session last night really upset her, but she doesn't want to open up about it. Maybe she just doesn't want to expose her weakness... but it's ok to expose it to us, you know? We're sisters."

I frowned. "That's surprising. Hopefully you can sort it out."

Itsuki smirked. "Maybe you should go talk to her about it? That'll piss her off, and then she'll be distracted."

"Yeah, no. I'm not a masochist."

"You know, for someone who claims to not care about love or relationships, you seem awfully interested in our feelings."

"What can I say? I'm a caring guy."

Itsuki snorted and rolled her eyes, and I took the opportunity to return to my desk. The class soon began, but the thought of the depression on Nino's face kept percolating through my mind. I wondered how, if at all, I could attempt to rectify the problem -- but nothing I could think of seemed reasonable, save for putting myself in the firing line, which I was somewhat averse to do without good cause.

By the end of the day, I was no closer to having any ideas than I had been before. I just decided to give up. As I was getting ready to leave, I took a small detour to Itsuki's desk.

"Hey, before I go--"

Itsuki jumped about a foot out of her chair again.

"Seriously?!"

"I wasn't paying attention! You scared me!"

"Ok, that one was, perhaps, just slightly, my bad. Anyways, I was wondering if you could pass on a message to Nino? I figure I'm less likely to get my head bitten off if you deliver it."

"So that I can get my head bitten off?"

"Precisely!"

"Thanks, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki said drily. "That's true friendship right there."

I just smirked. "Obviously."

"So, what's the message?"

"She shouldn't let that jerk get her down. He's not number one for a reason."

Itsuki looked up at me in surprise. "Weren't you the one singing his praises just yesterday? All that about how the number-two student has 'more fire for learning', or something of that sort? Where did that go?"

I glanced away from her. "Let's just say I'm not very impressed with his pedagogy."

"Is that your way of saying that you don't like him because he upset Yotsuba?"

I whipped back around and stared down at her in shock. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Itsuki looked back up at me innocently. "Nothing."

I scowled. "Well, whatever. Hold onto your pre-conceived notions. Just please pass on the message."

"Fine, I will. You owe me one, though. She's going to kill me."

"No, she won't." I said. "...Probably."

"Yeah, really reassuring, Uesugi-kun!" Itsuki yelled after me as I walked away from the desk. I chuckled to myself as I grabbed my bag and left the room. Hopefully the comment would distract Nino enough that she'd stop looking so depressed. It really didn't suit her.

As I walked through the halls, I pondered. Obviously, the guy's pedagogy is garbage, but is that really all it is? Maybe I'm just mad that he insulted my intelligence. That's typically not a front where people insult me...

I reached the library door, and opened it to find a few students having a fairly loud conversation right by the checkout desk. They seemed to be arguing about who had a reservation for some particular fantasy novel. I frowned, and walked past them into the lines of shelves, walking towards the tables where I usually studied with Yotsuba.

I peeked around the last bookcase to see that said ribboned girl had already arrived. Due to the loud argument by the door, she hadn't heard me come in. She was sitting in her usual spot with her textbooks spread out, a pencil twirling in her fingers as she attempted to solve an exercise. Her face was resting on one hand, and her green ribbon seemed to be slightly wilted, thought whether that was due to the unyielding effect of gravity, or a reflection of her emotional state, I wasn't sure.

Then I saw her face, which resolved the issue.

Her face seemed almost like a mirror image of the face I'd seen Nino making in the cafeteria... yet it was also different. Nino's face had seemed like it was a mixture of depression and anxiety. Yotsuba's was a much more explosive mixture -- her face was like if the hopelessness had been doped with rage, the inserted impurities enabling the conduction of emotion on her face. I noticed that her knuckles were white as she held the pencil.

These issues are my business .

I noisily stepped around the corner, and Yotsuba's head snapped up, the look on her face instantly vanishing.

"Oh, Uesugi-san! Hey!"

"Hi," I said, putting my bag down in my usual spot. I sat, and began to pull out my textbooks. Then, after I splayed them out, I just looked at her. Yotsuba went back to her exercise, but I continued to stare at her. Eventually, she looked up, registered my gaze, and then immediately glanced downwards again.

"...What is it?" she said quietly.

"Did something else happen?"

"I don't know what you mean," she said, not looking up. "Something else?"

"Apart from the tutoring session last night."

"...Oh."

I stared at her silently , but her eyes didn't rise to meet mine. The silence extended, and I could feel the thickness of it -- but perhaps that was just in my head. Perhaps I was imagining things, and there was nothing else that had happened. Maybe I was just projecting.

"Yeah. Something did happen."

I need to stop second-guessing myself.

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know. Maybe? It's just..."

Yotsuba leaned back in her chair, and stared at some fixed point above my head. For a brief moment, I was tempted to look up and see if there was something there.

"So... turns out Takeda-san is in my class. I never noticed before. During the morning periods he left me alone. I think he didn't notice I was there, maybe. After lunch, though, he basically took every opportunity he could to remind me I needed to work harder, and telling me I probably needed extra study sessions with him, and that if I continued just hanging out with you, I would fail the midterm. It just brought back all the feelings from last night, the anger. It made me feel really... small. And hopeless."

Yotsuba took a deep breath. "I know I need help. I know I can't do this alone. I... know that I'm an idiot. But I don't need the help of someone who insults my friend, and someone who thinks he's that much better than me. I don't need it. I can't need it."

Yotsuba looked away, and wiped her eyes briefly. She then turned back to me and did her best to grin, which somehow looked ghoulish with the anger and hurt that was so evident on her face.

"Anyways, you don't need to hear me complain about this. Sorry, Uesugi-san. Let's get back to studying."

I stared at her in disbelief. Then, I grabbed one of my paperback reference books, and gently bonked her on the head.

"Huh? Why...?"

"Idiot." I said forcefully.

"Yeah, that's what I said..."

"No, that's not why you're an idiot." I said. "I'm not talking about your test scores."

"Huh? Then...."

"Yotsuba," I said, my eyes narrowing. "Pop quiz time. Are we friends?"

"...Yes?"

Bonk.

"Not confident enough."

"Y-Yes!"

"Then why the hell would you think I wouldn't want to hear about something that's clearly upsetting you this much? You're furious, and on the verge of tears. Do you really think I wouldn't care about that, and want to just get back to studying? Is that actually how you see me?"

"No..." Yotsuba mumbled. "Sorry. It's just... it's embarrassing."

"So then be embarrassed. Don't hide how you're feeling though, not from your friends. It'll just get repressed and repressed and repressed, until it bursts out when you can't control it... and by the time that happens, it's too late."

"Wow," Yotsuba said, sniffing. "Very wise, Uesugi-san."

I smiled. "Naturally. I'm a genius after all."

Yotsuba snorted. Then, she stared down at her textbooks.

"Do you think I can pass the midterm, Uesugi-san?"

"I... don't really know. I haven't actually tried to assess how strong or weak you are in each area, since I'm not tutoring you. Do you want me to try?"

"I... would appreciate that. Thank you."

"Alright. Give me forty minutes to come up with a practice test for you."

"That's a lot! Are you ok giving up that much study time?"

I smiled. "It's fine. Coming up with practice problems is actually a form of studying in and of itself. If you can come up with complicated problems and then solve them, that shows that you have a good grasp of the source material."

I pulled out some paper, and I began trying to come up with questions that would gauge her abilities. As I started working, my mind drifted back to what Itsuki had said in the morning -- that none of the quintuplets had even taken the entrance exam. I thought back to the difficulty of the exam I had taken a year prior, and decided to start at that difficulty level, and then slowly ramp up the difficulty until it reached midterm level.

Wherever she starts getting things seriously wrong is about where her level is.

Flicking through my textbooks, I started getting some ideas for some of the trickier questions to put near the end of the test. In particular, I wanted to see how good her quantitative understanding of various concepts were -- it was all well and good to be able to explain something, but you also needed to be able to put your nose to the grindstone and compute things. I smiled to myself as I wrote down one of the more beguiling questions I'd thought up.

There was a noise, and I glanced up from my work to see that Yotsuba had her phone out, and was filming me.

"...What do you think you're doing?" I growled at her.

"I promised Miku I would send her footage of your demonic giggle! It finally came out!" she laughed. I glared at the phone , but I smiled on the inside to see her cheering up . Then, I got back to work. Eventually, my masterpiece was complete. I neatly shuffled the five pages of handwritten questions into a neat pile, and then stood up, and ceremonially delivered them to Yotsuba, bowing as I handed them over. She stood up, and bowed as she received them.

"Alright, time to get to work!" she said.

"No. Vetoed." I said.

"Eh?! Why not?"

I pointed at the test. "You're not going to be able to finish that before we need to go home. Better to spend the time that we're studying actually reviewing stuff, when I can help answer any questions you have. You can do the test tonight or tomorrow, and then I'll mark it for you."

Also, I think you're still not in the right head space to take this test right now.

Yotsuba sighed. "Yeah... you're probably right."

She lowered her head to her hands, and stared into nothingness. "This whole thing just has me down. I really don't want to go to the next tutoring session on Thursday."

I shrugged. "Then don't."

"I can't do that! My dad's paying the tutor money, the least I can do is show up!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Didn't Nino, Miku, and Ichika all skip?"

Yotsuba glanced to the side. "That's... their choice..."

"That is their choice. You can make yours. You don't have to go."

Wait. Why am I encouraging her to play hooky? Even if it's playing hooky from studying in order to study... wait, now I'm confused.

Yotsuba sighed. "I should probably at least give the guy a second chance. If it goes as badly as the first one though, I'll definitely consider quitting."

I nodded. "Seems more than fair. I probably would have already quit"

Yotsuba glanced up at me. "Yeah, but you don't need tutoring."

I looked away from her. "That hasn't always been the case. I had some tutoring myself. That was... a long time ago, though. Before I knew how to study on my own."

The ribbon-head raised an eyebrow. "Really? You had tutoring?"

I scowled as I turned back to her. "I don't know whether to take your surprise as a compliment or not. Yeah, I used to be a terrible student. Now I'm not though. Mostly through my own hard work. A little bit because of the tutor though."

"I want to know more about whoever was able to tutor the genius Uesugi-san!"

I frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk about that. It brings back some unfortunate memories. I just mentioned it because I wanted you to know that there's nothing shameful in needing a bit of help. The shamefulness only comes if you use that help as a crutch, and avoid putting in the work yourself."

"Ah... ok."

Yotsuba seemed to retreat a little, and I felt a little badly.

I don't want to talk about her, though.

"Uesugi-san..."

I looked down at the redhead, who had her face buried in her arms.

"...will you help me study? If I have to rely on someone else, I don't want it to be him."

Despite myself, I smiled. I gently placed a hand on her head, and tousled her hair a bit.

"Sure. You've got it."

Yotsuba's ribbon twitched, and I thought I could see her ears turn a distinct shade of pink. Slightly embarrassed, I removed my hand and sat back in my chair. Yotsuba took a deep breath as if to steady herself, and then looked back up at me, and then her face broke into a grin.

"Alright. I'm gonna kick ass, and show Takeda-san that I don't need him!"

"Good. Let's get back to studying. If you want my help, though, I'm going to put you through hell."

Yotsuba gulped nervously. "Th...Through hell?"

"Yep. You're gonna be dreaming of trigonometric functions."

"Wait, I don't even know what a trigonometric function is yet, Uesug-"

I smacked my hand on the table.

"Get to it, Private Yotsuba! You've got a promotion to earn!"

Yotsuba was speechless for a moment. Then, her eyes widened as she processed what I'd said, and a massive grin crossed her face.

"Sir, yes sir!"

Chapter 12: Wait, You Don't Want To Talk About Midterms?!

Chapter 12:

Wait, You Don't Want To Talk About Midterms?!

The next day, after school, Yotsuba came to me with her finished test. I had explicitly instructed her to leave any questions blank if she'd tried them for at least five minutes without having even a clue where to start. That way, I could properly assess exactly where the line was between things she got wrong, and things she had never even learned to begin with.

As my ribboned friend handed the sheets of paper back to me, I noticed with some amusement that she'd written her name in the top-right corner, despite there being no blank line there for her to fill in. I glanced up at her, an eyebrow raised.

"I'm glad to know this is your custom-made test, and not somebody else's custom made test."

Yotsuba grinned. "Gotta make sure you don't think I'm someone else!"

I rolled my eyes, and pulled out a thick red felt pen. I grinned demoniacally, and uncapped it with a loud pop.

"Good. You, and no others, can feel the pain of Uesugi Fuutarou's red pen of death!"

Yotsuba recoiled in mock horror. "Oh no! Uesugi-san's got a red pen! That's twice as powerful as the blue pen!"

"...and half as powerful as a fountain pen," I smirked. "Alright, shush. I'm gonna mark. Get your butt to studying."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

As Yotsuba dutifully studied, I in turn worked through her test. I went question by question, making sure to carefully think about possible ways in which my questions could have been misinterpreted, rather than not understood, and also being sure to give credit for partial work. I'd decided to mark fairly harshly, but not completely unforgivingly.

I lowered my pen, and stared down at the test.

It was... bad.

I put the cap back on my pen.

...but better than Second Place-san was making it out to be.

Yotsuba wasn't ready for the midterms -- she would almost certainly fail every subject except maybe Japanese language arts.

However... based on where her answers to the questions started becoming incorrect, and then dying out entirely, she would almost certainly have been able to pass the entrance exam.

I frowned down at the paper, deep in thought. The bar for passing exams at this school was absurdly low compared to many others -- a measly thirty-percent constituted a passing grade. Unfortunately, this low bar was a result of the fact that our tests were notoriously difficult. I, of course, had no issues, but getting Yotsuba up to speed in time would be difficult.

But... maybe...

I flipped the pages, and stared at each one individually. The gap between what she knew, and the amount she needed to theoretically stand a chance of passing that low bar...

She could theoretically close that gap in two weeks. It would be brutal, but it's possible.

"That bad, huh?"

I looked up to see Yotsuba glumly looking down at the test. I sighed, and closed it back up again.

"I'm not going to lie, Yotsuba, it's pretty bad."

I could see her shoulders slump, and her ribbon droop.

"...but it's better than it could have been."

She looked up in shock.

"Wait, really?!"

"Yeah. I specifically put markers in here for the level of the entrance exam. The difficulty of the test starts at that level, and goes up to the level for the midterms. Here, let me show you -- see how you got up until question fifteen on at least every single page? I put a little cross on each one to mark the spot that was the end of the entrance exam section, usually around question ten. You would probably do quite well on the entrance exam."

"I see, I see!" Yotsuba said, perking up. "Excellent!"

"...Unfortunately, you aren't taking the entrance exam. That's an exam for middle schoolers."

"Oh. Right," she said, wilting again.

"However... ok, look. Here's the last question you got right on each subject. In language arts, you're already at the point where you could probably barely pass the midterm. However, the others are an issue. In particular, math is a problem. You would probably struggle to pass last year's mathematics midterm."

"Oh. Right," she said, looking deeply dejected.

"...but it's doable."

Yotsuba looked up at me as thought not quite daring to believe what she was hearing.

"...Are you sure?"

"You'll have to work your ass off though. I'm not joking. To even reach the point where you can barely scrape by on this midterm, you'll need to spend most of the next two weeks studying. I don't mean a couple hours every day -- I mean something like eight to ten hours every day. Do you think that's something you can do?"

Yotsuba looked at me fearfully.

"E-Eight to ten hours?!"

"I told you, you'll be dreaming of trigonometric functions."

Yotsuba looked like she was going to pass out. Then, she took a steadying breath.

"I... think I can do it. Maybe. If I have help."

I smiled. "Well, that's what I'm there for. To be a hardass, and whip you into shape."

"Won't that take away from your studying though?"

I frowned. "Yotsuba, I already study between four to six hours every school day, and then I make up for it on the weekends by working for more than twelve hours each day. This is fine -- it's just my usual study time."

"Uesugi-san, have I ever told you that you're crazy?"

"Not that I can recall...?"

"You're crazy."

I smiled. "Thank you. So... what are you going to do? Do you still want my help?"

Yotsuba sat quietly for a moment, as though contemplating how much she really needed to pass this midterm. Then, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and looked me dead in the eye.

"I'll be in your care then."

"Right," I said drily. "You have two weeks until midterms start. I'm going to be an absolute hardass until then. Are you ok with that?"

"Do what you've gotta do, Uesugi-san! I-I'm sturdy, I can take it!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Phrasing. Anyways, if we're going to do this, I may as well give you one last evening of freedom. Starting tomorrow, though, you'll be entering the hell that is the Uesugi Fuutarou make-a-genius bootcamp."

Yotsuba gulped. "Gotcha."

We can either do the studying at your place, or at a library. Your call."

"Eh? Why can't we do it at your place? I want to see Raiha-chan!"

I glanced aside. Part of me didn't want Yotsuba to see our tiny, ramshackle apartment, despite how much it meant to me. I knew that she wouldn't see it that way... but part of me was just embarrassed at the blatant difference between her home, and mine.

There was all of that... but there was a far more practical concern.

"My family apartment is far too small for effective group study. Also, more importantly, if Raiha's there, you'll want to play with her instead of studying. I'm vetoing it."

Yotsuba pouted. "Geez, Uesugi-san. You really are being a hardass."

"Indeed. You were warned."

Yotsuba sighed. "Well, if it's not a night when Takeda-san is tutoring us, our place should probably be fine, assuming my sisters are fine with it. I guess tomorrow..."

She trailed off, and a look of horror crossed her face.

"Eh? Eh?! Uesugi-san, what am I gonna do?!"

I frowned. "Calm down. What are you talking about?"

"I need to be studying eight to ten hours a day, right? Takeda-san's tutoring is gonna eat up four hours two days a week! I'm worried that he'll eat up too much of my time, and I won't be able to pass."

Part of me found the irony amusing -- she was worried that attending tutoring for the midterm would take away from her time with which she could prepare for the midterm. It was preposterous. And yet...

And yet... she has a point.

"So then don't go," I shrugged. "Study with me instead."

"I can't do that," she said, pained. "My dad is paying him money. Also... I don't want to abandon Itsuki... I feel bad enough having already done that once."

I sighed. "Alright, fine. Then make sure you're getting everything you can from him. Take what's useful. Discard that which isn't."

"Roger!"

Then, I scowled. "Also, make sure to keep him on track. If he goes on a long rant again, remind him that he's being paid for four hours of tutoring, not four hours of grandstanding."

"That sounds like a mean thing to say."

"Get Itsuki to say it instead. Or Nino. She'll have no problem with it."

"That's mean in a different way..."

I laughed. "Unfortunately, you don't have time to be gentle with Second Place-san. Even if you don't waste time, and you study your heart out every single day, you still might fail the midterms."

Yotsuba looked a bit uncomfortable. "I don't like being mean though..."

"Then don't. You have a problem in front of you -- you need to resolve it. But you should do it in the way that feels the most correct to you. My approach is my approach, and your approach is the Yotsuba approach. You should follow the Yotsuba approach."

She paused, and then nodded. "That seems like a good idea. Ok, so you'll come over to study on Friday?"

"Sure."

"...and Saturday? And Sunday?"

" I can do that , if that's what you want. "

"...Ok."

I looked at Yotsuba's face, and I noticed that there seemed to be a half-hidden smile lurking on her face, barely visible as she looked down at her textbooks. For a moment, I wondered if there might be some ulterior motivation to getting me to come over that frequently -- but this was Yotsuba. There was no chance of that.

"Alright, well, we should probably get back to work. I'll make a study plan for you tonight."

Yotsuba looked up from her textbook with what seeme d like a shy smile on her face.

"Yes, T utor-san."

I scowled. "Please don't call me that. I turned down the tutoring job for a reason."

Yotsuba laughed. "Right, right. Sorry."

We spent the remainder of our time after school studying math. Yotsuba was still struggling mightily with it, but at least she had a solid grasp on what a variable was now. Eventually, I got an email from Raiha telling me it was time to come home for dinner. I loaded up my bags, and got ready to leave.

"You should relax this evening," I said, waiting for her to finish packing. "The next two weeks will be rough, so try to take it easy -- I don't want you to burn out too quickly."

Yotsuba nodded. "Makes sense. I'll also make sure to procure a steady supply of snacks ! "

I chuckled. "Yeah, gotta ensure that the fantastic spread keeps the Yotsuba fed."

"Exactly!"

We parted ways at the front gate. The journey home passed in a blur as I thought about exactly what Yotsuba would need to cover in order to stand even a fighting chance of passing the midterm. When I walked in the door, I was greeted by the sight of Raiha splayed out on the floor next to the table, face-down on the tatami mats.

"Eh? Raiha? Are you alright?" I said, putting down my bags.

"Dad said I had to study, and so he made dinner," Raiha said into the flooring. "But I don't wannaaaaaaaaa."

"Wait... Dad made dinner?" I said. "Should I get the bottle of Ohta's Isan?"

"Hey kid," my dad scowled. "I ain't makin' anything spicy. Simmer down with the antacids."

"Should I call the hospital? Preemptively, of course."

"Oh, shut up and sit down. Food's ready, ye ingrate."

I chuckled, and then walked over to Raiha.

"You need to sit up now, Raiha. It's dinner time."

"Don't wannaaaa," she whined into the floor.

"If you lie on the floor, you become part of the floor. You don't want me to sit on you, do you?"

Grumbling, Raiha sat up and scooted over to the table. My dad brought over curry and rice, and we began to eat. While it wasn't as good as Raiha's cooking, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I didn't need to go to the hospital.

Which was good, because we didn't have the money for an ambulance anyways.

After the meal, I pulled out my textbooks and began studying -- which reminded me that I possibly wasn't going to be present for dinner for a number of days in the coming two weeks. I sighed, and opened my math textbook.

Guess I should start making that study guide...

"Hey Dad, I just remembered," I said, staring down at my textbooks. "I'm possibly not going to be home for dinner much over the next two weeks."

"Eh?" he said, looking up from his book. "Why's that?"

"I'm putting Yotsuba through a study bootcamp. If I don't, she's at serious risk of failing the midterms. That's probably going to mean I need to be at her place quite a bit, though."

My dad looked at me, and then burst into uproarious laughter. I looked up at my father, and frowned.

"What? What are you laughing?"

"Kid gets a friend, and he's immediately spending all his time at her place. Make sure you don't spend the night, you sly dog!"

I narrowed my eyes. "What exactly are you trying to insinuate here?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just use pro--"

" Alright , that's enough from you in front of Raiha," I growled.

"Eh? Ah, shoot. Uh, nevermind."

Raiha looked back and forth between us, her face innocent and pure.

"What are you talking about?"

"Dad'll explain it when you're in middle school," I said, throwing him under the bus.

"I... don't really get it, but I think it sounds romantic!" Raiha said .

I scowled at Raiha. "Absolutely not."

I then subconsciously ran my hand through my bangs, twisting and turning the strands of them as I looked back down at my textbook.

I have no time for such frivolities. As always, my concentration is absolute -- I must focus solely on the midterms. Romance is a complete waste of time and emotional resources.

I finished making the study guide for Yotsuba after a few more hours, and then went to bed. The next day at lunch, a surprising confluence of events occurred. Firstly, Yotsuba was asked to help with a mid-day basketball practice, a development that caught me completely off-guard. I'd had no idea she was such an accomplished athlete -- though the tidbit about her running track in middle school ought to have been a tip-off.

Additionally, Itsuki was asked to help the teacher with printouts, requiring her to be late to lunch, a prospect that horrified her. As she was (metaphorically) dragged away by the teacher, I could see the desperation in her eyes -- Help me, Uesugi-kun! You're my only hope!

Alas, I was no Jedi, and also I had no authority to stop the teacher. With sombre eyes, I watched her walk away like a lamb unto the slaughter.

Fare thee well, Itsuki. I hardly knew ye.

When I reached the cafeteria, I saw Nino sitting at the quints' usual table entirely by herself. To my surprise, the anxiety-ridden face she had been making two days prior hadn't abated. If anything, with her being entirely alone, it almost seemed to have gotten worse.

Ah, right. They have tutoring today. She'll have to deal with Second Place-san again.

I started walking to my seat, but there was a nagging feeling in my chest. I glanced back at her. I glanced back at my table. I wavered. Then, I made a decision. I took my tray, and I decided to walk directly into the firing line, hoping against hope to be able to minimize the damage from the hail of bullets that would surely come my way.

Yeah... this is going to suck .

"Hey, can I sit here?"

Nino looked up from her food with a dead look in her eyes.

"No."

"Cool, thanks," I said, sitting down. She glared at me, and a little bit of her usual fire flared up.

"I don't want your company, Failed Tutor-san. How about you buzz off?"

I put my hands together in thanks for my meal, and then glanced up at her.

"Can't fail at something I've never tried."

Her scowl deepened. "Whatever. What do you want?"

" You seemed upset, so I decided to come annoy you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Do you normally go around pissing people off?"

"Not if I can help it, but I suppose I don't particularly go out of my way to not piss people off either ."

I took a sip of my miso soup, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Nino seemed to get a little flushed at the sustained eye contact, and glanced away.

"Oh, I see. So it's just a natural gift then. You do it subconsciously."

"That felt like an insult, so I'm going to just ignore it."

Nino scowled at me. "Believe me, I could insult you a lot worse than that, if I wanted to. There's just so much fodder to choose from."

"You know," I said, sighing. "I believe you. You seem quite adept at insulting people."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"I know, but I don't want compliments from you, so thank you. Jerk."

I scowled.

"I'm distinctly aware of my flaws, Nino. My classmates work very hard to make sure of that. Regardless, I didn't come here to talk about my failings, though I'm sure you'd love to expound on them. No, I came here to talk about what's going on with you."

Nino looked at me with a dead expression. "I can't express how little I want to talk to you about my problems."

"Right, right," I said, taking a helping of rice. "Mind you, there are benefits to talking about your problems to someone you don't like."

Nino raised an eyebrow.

"After all, you can scream and yell all you want at me, since my feelings aren't something you need to take into consideration -- if anything, it's a bonus!"

Nino frowned. "Is that actually how you see me?"

"I'm not really sure what to think, to be honest. I get very mixed signals from you. One second you're treating me like the scum of the earth, the next second you're setting a table out for me on the balcony and giving me extra servings of food. It's very confusing, you know."

Nino scowled again. "I have complicated feelings. Sue me. Can we not talk about this?"

"Sure. I'm much less interested in hearing your thoughts about me, and much more interested in hearing your thoughts about Second Place-san."

Nino gritted her teeth. "Can we not talk about that either, please?!"

"If that's really what you want, then I can back off. I know you're not opening up to your sisters though. I know Itsuki's worried about you, even though she isn't saying it. You need to talk about this to someone -- you look absolutely miserable."

"Wait, Itsuki's worried about me?"

I frowned. "That's what I just said, didn't I?"

Nino was quiet for a moment, like she was thinking about something. Then, she shook her head.

"There are about fifteen people I can think of who I would rather open up to before you. No thank you."

"Wait, I'm sixteenth on the list? Heck yeah, I'm way higher than I thought I was."

She glared at me, the ribbons in her hair seeming to imitate the movement of her eyes.

"You just dropped down to nineteenth."

"Ah. Crap. Is this what they call self-sabotage?"

Nino rolled her eyes, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile on her face at that. Then, she shook her head.

"I'm not talking to you about this."

I sighed. "Alright. I did promise you I'd back off, so I will. Please talk to somebody about this though."

Nino just stiffly nodded as I stood back up, picking up my tray. I walked away from the table in retreat, having accomplished exactly none of what I'd set out to do. Scowling, I sat down at my usual table, alone, and pulled out my flash cards. I began flipping through them attempting to review English vocabulary.

Innocence. Despicable. Ambiguous. Artificial. Cognate. Cogent. Pestici--

"Heya, Fuutarou-kun."

I looked up from my pesticide card to see Ichika leaning over the table, a smile on her face.

"Hi."

"Can I sit for a little bit?"

"Uh... sure, that's fine."

Ichika pulled out the other chair, and sat. She smirked at me in that way she did, that seemed like she was reading my mind. It made me a little uncomfortable.

"So... I overheard that little exchange you and Nino had just now."

I frowned. "Wait, what? How? Where were you?"

Ichika gestured at the quintuplets' table, and I looked over to see that Miku was now sitting there with Nino. I turned back to her, still confused.

"I arrived with Miku halfway through that conversation, but you two seemed so absorbed in what you were saying that we didn't want to interrupt. You didn't notice us when you stormed off, either."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I did not storm off. There was no anger involved -- she asked me to back off, and so I backed off. What I've basically gathered about Nino is that, if I want to get anywhere, I need to push -- but I'm not going to push too hard. That can just have a counter-productive effect."

Ichika smiled. "Ah, you have learned well, young one. I'm glad you've internalized big sis Ichika's advice."

I scoffed. "Yeah, sure. Wasn't one of your grand predictions that Nino didn't need any additional work, and would come around on her own?"

Ichika glanced away. "I... may have gotten that one wrong. I thought it was just that she didn't like you spending so much time with Yotsuba, and that she would come around once Itsuki did. I figured it was just that she liked being able to complain about you with Itsuki. Instead, you've gotten all hunky-dory with Itsuki, and Nino's still giving you the cold shoulder."

"...Hunky-dory? We're just friends."

"Oh really? I see. I seeeeeee."

There was a moment's uncomfortable silence. Then...

"Am I your friend too, Fuutarou-kun?"

Well, that came out of nowhere .

I eyed her up and down. "Do you want to be my friend?"

She gave me that smile again, like I was a toy for her to play with.

"As yet, undecided."

I shrugged. "That's your answer then -- as yet, undecided."

"Fair enough," Ichika smirked. "Anyways, I realized that Operation Twintail isn't actually completed until Nino decides she doesn't hate your guts, so I figured I ought to come over and have a little chat. Fulfill my sisterly duties."

"Yotsuba seems to have forgotten about Operation Twintail ever since I started getting along with Itsuki, so you don't really have to do that."

Ichika frowned. "You may be right, but I hate loose ends. Also, I'm bored."

"Bored, huh? Have you considered... studying?"

"Silly Fuutarou-kun. I'm not going to have a nap at school."

"That's... not what I sai--"

"Anyways!" she said, standing up. "Big Sis will come up with a new strategy. Don't worry, things will work out. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a grumpy Nino to tease."

I helplessly watched as she left to return to her table. I saw that Itsuki had arrived, and the four of them began eating lunch together, with Nino looking extremely irritable. Ichika turned back to look at me, and winked. I scowled at her, and then returned to my flashcards.

Irritating. Malignant. Petulant. Needling. Wait, why are all of my flashcards annoying me?

I put the flashcards away, and grumpily finished my lunch.

After school had finished for the day, I handed off the study guide to Yotsuba, and then bid farewell to Itsuki and her as they morosely prepared to go home to face their second tutoring session with Takeda. I then made my way to the library, and settled down at my usual table to begin my studies. I had been in the middle of learning about the endocrine system, and so I resumed there. After about an hour, I got an email from Yotsuba.

<Well, it's about to start. I'm gonna tell him to stay on subject, and get as much out of these four hours as I can!>

<Good. Kick some ass.>

<Haaaaaaiya! Ass kick!>

I snorted, and then put my phone away to continue my work. I carried on studying the various glands in the body and which hormones they produced, and before I knew it, the evening was rapidly upon me. I received a buzz in my pocket informing me that it was time to come home for dinner, and so I packed up my things and left the library.

On my way down to the footlockers, I walked past a classroom with the door slightly open, and the lights on. I idly glanced through the door, and then pulled up short. For a moment, my brain just didn't process what I was seeing.

Inside, scrolling on her phone, was Nino.

Before even having a chance to think about it, I opened the door and stepped inside.

"Nino? What are you doing still here?"

Nino looked up, and then scowled.

"Oh great. Now I have to deal with you, too."

I bristled, but then forced myself to calm down.

"With me 'too'? Did something happen?"

"Wouldn't you love to know, busybody-san."

I frowned. "You can do better than that -- that was a pretty weak insult. Regardless, why are you hiding in a classroom at like six-thirty in the evening? Wasn't your tutoring session supposed to start an hour ago?"

Nino turned away from me with a "humph," crossing her arms.

"Wow," I said, unimpressed. "How remarkably mature."

"Shut up! I just don't want to go home!"

"Why not? Isn't your room better than an empty classroom?"

Nino glared at me for a long moment. "I don't need to tell you!"

"You don't need to, but you've got to admit, choosing this place over your swanky apartment is a pretty weird choice."

"Did you just seriously use the word swanky?"

"...Yes?"

"God, you're lame."

I rolled my eyes.

"You're avoiding the question, Nino."

"Screw off. I just don't want to be in the same apartment as him again!"

"'Him'...? Oh, do you mean Second Place-san?"

"Yes, him. He's a massive asshole, and I don't want to be put through that again!"

I frowned. "Well, we definitely agree on that front. I can't say I'm too fond of the guy myself."

"If even you think he's an asshole, then he's definitely an asshole!"

I glared at Nino. "Seriously? I'm not that bad."

"Shut up. You're a massive jerk."

"Actually, I think I'm a pretty average jerk. Regardless, why would you hide out here instead of in your room?"

Nino slammed her hands on the desk in frustration. "He won't leave me alone! That's why!"

I was confused, and I was pretty sure that it showed on my face.

Is Second Place-san stalking her...?

Then, it clicked. Nino and Yotsuba must be in the same class.

Which means that she's in the same class as...

I put my head in my hands and heaved a deep sigh.

"Has he been giving you grief at school too?"

Nino gritted her teeth.

"That smug bastard won't shut up, and he won't leave me alone. Ever since the first session, he's been using every chance he can get to remind me that I need to study hard, and will only succeed under his 'tutelage', and that I friggin' bombed his stupid little test."

"So, what, he's been harassing you?"

"He keeps saying I'm the dumbest of the sisters, and that he's not going to let me escape. I'm not the dumbest! I just don't give a damn about studying!"

"Wait, who is the dumbe-- you know what, nevermind, not the point."

Nino ignored me.

"He won't leave me alone! It's been every period for the last three days! I'm sick of it! I never want to see his stupid face again. I never want to have him near me again. It's bad enough that I feel like a friggin' moron for bombing the test, but he keeps reminding me of it! He keeps finding those buttons and pressing them! Every day! My confidence is shot, I feel like a failure, and it's ALL HIS FREAKING FAULT!"

By the end, Nino was screaming. I silently listened as she slammed her fist on the table in pure frustration.

"I'm not going to go to his lectures! I'm not going to study because he wants me to study! I'm not going to do what he wants, and I'm not going to let him try and make me. I won't let him!"

Nino almost seemed like she wasn't even aware of my presence anymore.

"That bastard is so full of himself. He's high on his own supply, thinking he's the best in the world. He's NOT the best in the world. He's not even the best in our grade. Where does he get off calling me and my sisters idiots? Where does he get off sticking his nose into our lives, just because Daddy is paying him a bit? He doesn't belong! He's an intruder! He... doesn't belong..."

Nino panted, caught her breath, and then put her head in her hands.

"Ugh, this is so stupid. What am I doing? I could have done anything else instead of this. I could have gone shopping with my friends or seen a movie, instead of just hiding here and having to be listened to by you. This is the worst."

I just didn't say anything. Eventually, Nino looked up from her hands and glared at me.

"Say something, damn it."

I paused for an extra moment to consider my words. Then, I said softly,

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Whether you try to pass the midterm or not is up to you. Obviously, I think you should study, but what I think doesn't matter any more than his opinion. Having someone to push you to succeed isn't a bad thing... but it needs to be someone you trust. Ultimately, a tutor can only do so much for you -- and a bad tutor can actively harm you."

Nino scowled, but didn't say anything.

"If Second Place-san is giving you this much grief, then tell him to screw off. He'll figure out pretty quickly that his methods aren't working. Especially since you're not even home for him to lecture right now. If he doesn't figure out pretty quickly that he needs to change tactics, then he's an even bigger idiot than I'd pegged him for."

I paused, considering my words.

"I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't let him shake you. He's not the best in the world, nor even in our grade. If a jerk like me can beat him, then he has no right to be making you feel small."

Nino seemed to mull my words over for a moment.

"I... guess that's pretty good advice, coming from you."

I frowned. "You're completely incapable of saying anything nice to me without adding some sarcasm to it, aren't you?"

"It's a medical condition."

"Sure it is."

Nino got up, and put her phone in her bag.

"I think I'm going to go home. If he comes to my room to tell me to study, I'll just tell him to screw off, and that there's absolutely no chance of me joining any of his sessions going forward unless he leaves me alone at school. Not that I'm gonna go even if he does leave me alone."

"Good. The telling him to screw off, I mean."

She walked past me out the door, and then paused in the hallway.

"I'm only going to say this once, Uesugi."

"...Yes?"

"...Thanks."

My eyes widened in surprise at the brief expression of sincerity. Nino glared at me.

"I still hate you though."

"You just had to ruin it, huh."

Nino snorted with what seemed like genuine laughter. Then, she walked quickly down the hall, and she was gone, and I was left behind in the empty classroom to ponder what the hell had just happened.

Chapter 13: The Calm Before The Storm

Notes:

A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter! I've gotten quite busy with work (I'm a full time grad student), and also travelled to visit family. That combined with a serious case of writers' block made this chapter take forever to write. Chapters may be a bit more sparse for a while, but hopefully I'll be able to get back to a more frequent schedule in due course. If there's a bit of a gap between chapters, have no fear! I'm not going to drop this fic.

Chapter 13:

The Calm Before The Storm

As I walked out of the classroom about three minutes later, I was still reeling from the fact that Nino had finally opened up about her problems -- and that the tutor had managed to induce such a strong effect on her. I pulled out my phone, and sent an e-mail to Yotsuba.

<Nino is on her way home. She's probably going to chew out Second Place-san. Please try and defuse it and just get them separated. You can't afford to lose studying time.>

A few minutes later, as I was changing my footwear, I felt my phone buzz in response, and I looked at the e-mail to see that Yotsuba had just sent me a small stylized image of a smiley face saluting. I frowned at it.

Is this that thing Raiha called an... emoji?

Then my phone buzzed again.

< I don't have time to really talk right now because of the session, I went to the washroom to use my phone just for a minute -- but w hy were you and Nino together??>

<Ran into her on my way home from studying. She was pretty upset. >

< Hmmm. Veeeeeeeery suspicious. You sure it wasn't a secret lover's getaway? >

<She hates my guts, remember? Also, yuck , romance. >

<Hatred is just the other side of love, Uesugi-saaaaan!>

<I can't use these 'emoji' things on my phone, but imagine I'm rolling my eyes at you.>

<Shock!>

I laughed, and put my phone away. Glancing back into the classroom, I shook my head.

I guess screaming at me helped more than I thought it would...?

At that thought, I frowned.

I don't particularly want to become her punching bag, though, so let's not make a habit of that. I don't actually like being screamed at.

I readjusted my bag on my shoulder, and left the room. The walk down to the footlockers was a bit of a blur -- I was lost in a world inside my head, ruminating on my encounter with Nino. When I finally reached the lockers, I saw a flash of red hair leaving the building, and then the room was empty. I slowly changed to go home, my mind still lost in thought.

When I got back to my family apartment, I enjoyed a lovely dinner that my sister had made, and then got to work. My dad was working a night shift at the warehouse, and so it was just the two of us. I pulled out an old binder that I had, and removed all of the pages. I then painstakingly put together packages of material for Yotsuba to study. It was a lot of work both physically and mentally, but after about four hours of diligent effort, I eventually had a semblance of a guidebook for Yotsuba to work through.

"This should last her at least until I can make another," I muttered to myself, my hand mildly cramping.

Raiha popped down opposite me, a popsicle in her mouth.

"Whatcha doing, Onii-chan?"

"I told you that I'm helping Yotsuba study this week and next, right? I'm making some study material for her."

"Ooh, taking your tutoring duties seriously, huh?"

I scowled at her. "Please don't call it that. I'm not a tutor, nor do I want to be. I'm only doing this in my spare time, and I'm not letting it interfere with my own studies."

"Oh, ok. I won't then."

Raiha sat in silence as I continued to work, and then suddenly squealed as some of her popsicle fell out of her mouth on her overalls. She stood up in a hurry and rushed over to the sink, dropping the broken bit in so as to let it melt down the drain, and then rubbed water on her clothes to spot-clean the mild popsicle stain. I continued to work, ignoring the commotion, and she eventually came back to the table, a sad look on her face as she held her deteriorated treat.

"Why are you doing so much work to tuto-- uh, to help Yotsuba-nee-chan?"

"Because she needs it," I said darkly, thinking about the amount of work awaiting me.

"Do you liiiiike her?"

"Raiha, how many times do we need to have this conversation?"

"You didn't say no, Onii-chan!"

"Obviously the answer is no! I don't have the time nor the inclination for love. You know this, Raiha, why are you giving me a hard time?"

"Onii-chan is in looooove!"

At that moment, I finished making the last page of the booklet, and slammed the binder shut a little harder than I intended, startling Raiha.

"Drop it please."

"O-ok..."

I immediately felt guilty, and sighed. "Sorry Raiha, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just a bit tired."

"It's ok..."

"Do you want me to grab you a new popsicle?"

Raiha perked up. "Sure!"

I popped the freezer open to see that we only had one left. I grabbed it and brought it over to Raiha as an apology, which she happily accepted. Feeling spiritually cleansed, I went for my bath. When I got out, Raiha had already fallen asleep. I swiftly followed suit, my hand mildly aching.

The next day at school, Itsuki seemed absolutely exhausted as she collapsed into her chair in the classroom. I wanted to ask her how the tutoring session had gone, but I wasn't afforded the chance -- as soon as she lifted her head up from flopping, the teacher walked into the room. I made eye contact with her, and she just grimaced.

Well that's not a good sign .

Throughout the first half of the day, whenever I happened to glance back towards the back of the class, Itsuki seemed like she was in a daze. Her eyes seemed half-open, and her note-taking seemed erratic. It almost looked like she was sleep-deprived... and maybe she was?

When classes finally ended for lunch, I got up, and walked over to her desk, where she was slowly packing up her things.

"Hey Itsuki, do you want to walk to the cafeteria together? I have questions."

She looked up at me, blinked a couple of times, and then nodded.

"Sure, just give me a moment."

I stood there awkwardly for about thirty seconds as she finished packing up her bags, a few of the people around us whispering . Finally, she was finished, and we began walking towards the cafeteria.

" How did the second session go?" I ventured.

"Well, on a purely academic level, it was better than the first one..."

" I... see."

We walked in silence for a moment, and then Itsuki sighed.

"Not by much though."

"Ah. That's not good."

"No," she murmured, "It's not. When he arrived, he seemed pretty upset that Nino wasn't there, but it was just Yotsuba and me. Yotsuba was very determined to make the session work -- something about 'kicking ass', which seemed a bit uncharacteristic of her. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

I glanced away. "Not a thing."

"Hmm," Itsuki said, squinting at me intently. "That doesn't sound believable at all."

"You know, I hear that from Yotsuba a lot."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, she'll squint at me exactly like you're doing right now, and go ' veeeeery suspicious'."

"I... see."

"Anyways," I said, shifting uncomfortably under Itsuki's gaze. "What happened?"

"Oh, right," she said as we turned a corner. "The tutor arrived and after a little bit of complaining about the 'lack of work ethic' from the other, we got started. It was pretty good at first, because any time he started getting off track, Yotsuba would ask him a question about the material and distract him."

"Huh," I muttered to myself, "That's a much less confrontational solution than what I came up with."

Itsuki gave me a strange look, and then continued. " Anyways, then Yotsuba went to the washroom, and when she came back she seemed a bit upset about something . She threw herself into studying -- I don't think I've ever seen her that quiet in her life. Maybe the only other time was when she got stung on the lip by a wasp, and it hurt for her to talk. That's an exaggeration, but t he tutor seemed pretty happy , regardless ."

I snorted. "Well, I'm glad Second Place-san found something to make him happy."

We made our way into the cafeteria, and started walking to get food.

"A few hours after the session started, Nino got home , and immediately went up to her room. The tutor followed her up, and tried to convince her to join us, but she slammed the door in his face. He then pounded on her door, telling her she needed to come out and study, or she would fail."

"Uh oh," I muttered.

Itsuki nodded. "Indeed. The door opened again, and Nino went full... uh, how do I put this?"

"Nino?" I suggested.

"Yeah, that."

I shook my head. Whoops. Did I do that?

"Anyways, then -- oh, one second. Hi, could I have..."

I zoned out as Itsuki ordered her lunch. A wisp of a thought was percolating in my head, an irritant that I couldn't quite filter out. It scratched at the edges of my mind, begging to be let in like a vampire in the night. And yet... I didn't quite know what it was. I frowned, trying to identify what the hell was bothering me.

It was something Itsuki said... think, what was it?

"...and you?"

I snapped out of my daze.

"Oh. Uh, right. Yeah, could I get the barbecue meal minus the barbecue?"

The cafeteria server gave me a pitying look, and then typed in the order. I turned to see Itsuki studiously not looking at me.

"What? It's a great deal!"

"Uh... right."

I scowled at her. "You just don't appreciate the power of savings."

Itsuki looked uncomfortable at that statement, perhaps reminded of her own wealth relative to my situation. I felt a little bit guilty, but brushed it aside.

"Anyways, continue your tale, oh tale-spinner."

Itsuki rolled her eyes. "Right. Anyways, Nino came out and decided to be Nino, but extra. She told him to screw off, and that he had no right to bother her. When he reminded her that he was being paid by our father to tutor all of us, she asked him if he was being paid for school hours too. He seemed a bit stumped at that, and she told him that he needed to leave her, and I quote, 'the hell alone at school'. He stammered out some kind of response, and she told him that if he talked to her at school again, she would make a point to get him fired."

I breathed in shallowly. "Wow, she really went the whole nine yards."

"Yeah. Actually, the word she used wasn't 'talked', it was 'harassed'. She started yelling that he had been demeaning her, and making her feel like an idiot, and if he kept it up she'd make his life hell. He seemed fairly intimidated, and left her alone after that."

I shrugged. "Well, she definitely made her point. Maybe if he leaves her alone at school, she'll start studying at home."

"Well... maybe." Itsuki said doubtfully. "Oh, our food is here."

We both respectively grabbed our trays off the counter where they'd been placed, and then began to walk towards the seating area.

"So, did anything else happen?"

Itsuki shook her head. "Not much. We went seriously over time, though, I don't think we finished until around eleven. The tutor was in a foul mood the rest of the evening, which just made life really miserable for Yotsuba and me. He'd go off on tangents way more often, and the occasional monologue -- and Yotsuba's technique of distracting him stopped working too. By the end, she was pretty annoyed, but there's not much we could do."

"Yeah," I said, "she was worried that would happen. Hopefully she still got a decent amount done."

Itsuki shrugged. "No clue. Anyways, I'll see you later, Uesugi-kun."

I started as I realized that we had reached the table which she normally shared with her sisters. Ichika, Miku, and Nino were already there.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. See you later, Itsuki."

I left and went over to my own usual table, but to my chagrin, it had already been taken. I frowned, and looked around... but I couldn't see any empty tables. With a mild sinking sensation in my chest, I realized that unless I located a table soon, I'd be relegated to loading my food up into my arms and eating in a hallway or stairwell.

I'd prefer to not resort to that if at all possible .

Finally, I spotted an empty table in the opposite corner of the room. I made my way there, and placed my tray down gently, careful not to spill any of the precious soup. I glanced back at the quints' table, and noted that Yotsuba still wasn't there. I frowned, the rogue thought at the periphery of my brain nagging at me.

Shut up, brain. You have studying to do .

I slowly began to eat my food, pulling out my flashcards. The formulas that governed celestial mechanics seemed to all blend together before me as the cards flitted by. I cursed to myself as I got the same card wrong a number of times -- for some reason the Tsiolkovsky equation just wasn't sticking in my head despite its simplicity. I threw my cards down on the table in annoyance, and took a sip of my soup.

Something was bothering me.

What the hell was it?

Where's Yotsuba?

I glanced back at the quints' table. The familiar green bow wasn't there. I frowned down at my flashcards, and began to gather them back up.

Am I just worried about her? That's moronic. If that's all the issue is, I can easily resolve it.

I pulled out my phone and sent her a quick email asking if she was alright, since she wasn't in the cafeteria. I put the phone down, and frowned down at it, puzzled.

I don't feel any better.

The phone buzzed, and I picked it up to see Yotsuba's response email.

<Got kidnapped by some dastardly teachers who wanted me to help photocopy handouts. Were you worried about me, Uesugi-san? Shi shi shi, have no fear -- it takes more than that to take me out!>

I rolled my eyes, but I smiled despite myself. I put my phone down, and picked the cards back up, and started attempting to work through them again. The weird distraction that was buzzing in my head hadn't dispersed in the slightest, but through sheer willpower I suppressed it and forced myself to study. It was difficult, and my retention felt distinctly sub par -- but imperfect recall was better than no recall.

That was a bust. What the hell is my problem?

I glanced over at the quints' table again about ten minutes later, and saw the familiar green bow was now present, waving back and forth as Yotsuba animatedly talked to her sisters. I finished my bowl of rice, and then suddenly the bell rang for us to return to class. Annoyed at my own distraction, I drank the rest of my soup, and packed up my bag.

The rest of the day went fairly quickly, and I soon found myself in the library waiting for Yotsuba. I pulled out the binder I had prepared the night before, and quickly perused its contents, reacquainting myself with the material I'd prepared. My eyes skimmed over the lines, and I nodded to myself subconsciously.

This should be enough for now.

I was interrupted in my refresher by a certain ribboned redhead popping around the corner. Yotsuba sat down across from me, and immediately flopped down, sprawling across the surface of the table like some sort of beached fish.

"Uh... you alright there, Yotsuba?"

In response, she just let out a groan.

"I don't speak groan, but if I had to guess based on my limited translation knowledge, that would be a 'no'?"

Yotsuba, face still plonked directly into the table, raised a thumbs up.

"Does that mean I'm right, or that you are in fact alright?"

Yotsuba raised up her pointer finger, presumably to indicate that it was the first option.

"Ah. Gotcha."

Yotsuba lifted her head off the table to look up at me, crooking her neck to sit her chin on the wooden surface.

"Uesugi-san, studying is haaaaard."

I just raised an eyebrow at her. "You sound like Raiha."

Yotsuba pouted at me. "That's not a bad thing, Raiha's adorable."

"That is, indeed, true."

Yotsuba reached her arms out to their full extension in front of her, her hands arched back towards her head. For a moment, she almost looked like a cat, stretching in a sunbeam.

"So, did you manage to get anything out of the session with the tutor?" I ventured.

A frown crossed her face. "Well... I definitely got some stuff out of it. At least before Nino came home. I was able to keep him mostly on track by asking questions to redirect him, and so I got through at least some of the stuff on the list you gave me..."

Then she sighed. "But after Nino came back, he was just impossible. I think her yelling really shook him, because he was terrible after that. Nino seemed pretty upset too, though I think she got a lot of satisfaction out of venting at him."

"Yeah, she has a penchant for yelling at people," I said drily. Yotsuba just looked at me confusedly.

"That's... true, I guess? Sometimes. Nino doesn't really yell that much at home. Anyways, I think what I'm trying to say is that it wasn't a complete waste of time. I took lots of notes, see!"

Yotsuba pulled back to sit up in her chair, and reached down to lift up her bag. From its depths she retrieved an orange binder, which she carefully placed on the table. As she opened it, I noticed amusedly that there was a sticker on the front which seemed to be a chibi-esque drawing of her bow.

"Look, look! I even colour-coded the notes by subject!"

I looked down at the set of pages that Yotsuba had thrust in front of me. The handwriting was about as sloppy as I'd come to expect from her, but reading over the notes (as best I could), I could see that she'd covered a not-insignificant range of topics during the tutoring session. As I flipped through the pages, my left eyebrow slowly started to rise of its own accord.

Second Place-san... isn't doing a good job teaching them, but his choice of subject material to cover isn't bad. He's definitely at least putting some thought into it.

"Eh? Eh?! Uesugi-san, why is your eyebrow rising like that? Is it that bad?!"

I started, and then looked up at her anxious face.

"No, no, it's fine. I was just thinking about the subject material itself."

Yotsuba breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness. I thought I'd majorly screwed up!"

I shook my head. "No, but don't think you're off the hook. You still need to make up for time lost to that buffoon."

Yotsuba's shoulders sagged. "Y... You're right..."

I reached across the table and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's ok. You've got this. We just need to get to work."

I felt her square her shoulders, and then she nodded at me, a look of determination replacing the anxiety temporarily. I let go of her shoulder a moment later when I realized that my hand had remained in place longer than I'd intended. As I withdrew, I noticed a faint redness in Yotsuba's face, which I processed, and then immediately put out of my mind.

It's just a shoulder, after all.

"Oh, by the way," I said, pulling my bag into my lap and taking out my own textbooks. "Were you still wanting me to come by to help you study tonight and over the weekend?"

"Yep!" she said, pumping her fist and grabbing her bicep. "We're gonna kick some ass!"

"Your sisters are alright with it, right?"

"Yeah. Even Nino limited things to just grumbling. Actually, it was kind of odd -- normally she would have thrown a fit about it..."

Yotsuba's eyes narrowed, and she leaned over to table until she was mere centimetres away from my face.

"Staaaaaaaare."

I shifted uncomfortably. "What?"

"Veeeeeeery suspicious," she said at point-blank range. "Are you sure you and her weren't off on a secret lovers' tryst when you were with her yesterday?"

I glanced to the side, my hand unconsciously rising to the fringe of hair that dangled down across my forehead. "Given she spent the majority of the time yelling at me, I'm pretty damn sure."

Yotsuba leaned back. "Ah, a lovers' quarrel then!"

I scowled at her. "It was a lovers' nothing. You sound like Raiha again, by the way. She was really pushing about it last night."

Yotsuba frowned. "Why was she yelling at you, anyways? I mean, apart from the usual."

"Why do you make it sound like her yelling at me is a daily part of my life?"

The girl across from me just snickered. I rolled my eyes at her, not particularly liking what she was implying.

"I asked her to?"

Now that answer caught her by surprise. Yotsuba's eyes widened, and she leaned forward, the confusion in her mind written like letters in a book across her face.

"You... asked her to?"

I nodded.

"Uesugi-san..."

I waited.

"...are you an 'M'?"

I planted my face in my hands.

What the hell kind of question is that?!

"No," I said through my fingers. At least I don't think so. "She just seemed really upset, so I tried talking to her about it, and eventually I decided that the only way I, someone who she clearly doesn't like, could help her was if I just let her scream at me. I don't have any plans to do it again."

"I see, I see. So you helped her relieve some stress!"

"I guess so? It was more so she could vent her frustrations over Second Place-san."

"Is that so? You were helping her vent her frustrations, huh?"

"Yes, that is what I believe I said...?"

"I seeeee, so you were just being a nice guy, huh?"

I raised my head. "Yeah, I said that alre--"

Yotsuba had a giant smirk on her face.

My eyes narrowed.

"Hang on, are you just messing with me?"

Yotsuba laughed and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Well, congrats, you got me," I scowled. "Let's get to work."

"Ah, sure."

We both began to get to work, Yotsuba working off the study guide I had previously given her. The library grew silent, save for the occasional sound of pencils grinding against paper, the flip of pages, and the rubbing of erasers against graphite to drive away my (occasional) and Yotsuba's (frequent) mistakes. I was so focused on my work that I almost missed it when Yotsuba quietly spoke.

"You're not actually interested in Nino like that... right?"

I looked up to see that she was intently focused on her math worksheet, and for a moment, I thought I had just imagined what she said. I looked back down at my page.

"Obviously not. I told you, I have no interest in romance. Especially not with someone who hates my guts."

There was a moment of silence...

"...Ok."

Yotsuba's reply was again so quiet that I almost missed it. I frowned to myself. There was something here that wasn't clicking for me... but I wasn't sure what it was. Frustratedly, I realized that whatever it was, it was related to the nagging worry that had been plaguing me since my conversation with Itsuki in the morning.

I'll either figure it out, or it wasn't worth figuring out in the first place.

Yotsuba peeked up from her notes, and I noticed a faint tinge of red in her face again -- but it wasn't like she was blushing some deep crimson or anything of the sort. I came to the conclusion that she had just embarrassed herself with the love talk, and had decided to back out of the subject, which was completely fine in my books.

"Uesugi-san, what's that binder? It has my name on it."

I snapped out of my thoughts, and looked down at the binder I'd put on the table before she even arrived. In the midst of our discussions, I had completely forgotten about it.

"Oh, right. I was going to mention it, but somebody distracted me."

Yotsuba squirmed under my gaze.

"Who... who could that be, I wonder?" she said, glancing away from me.

"Indeed, I wonder," I said drily. "Anyways, I put together this guide book for you to study off of, in addition to the material you already have from our classes. I figured, the more practice questions and study material you have, the more likely the information is to stick. The key to recall is repetition and association. I can't do the second one for you, but I can help with the first by providing you with the raw materials you need."

I picked up the binder, and handed it over to Yotsuba. She took the thing, and it immediately sagged in her hands.

"It's heavier than I thought!" she said with surprise.

"I would think so, it has over a hundred pages in it," I said. "Regardless, I hope you're able to work through it this weekend. I can make a second one while you do so. We'll get you as far along as we can."

Yotsuba nodded wordlessly, and then flipped open the binder. She started leafing through the pages, looking over them. I watched her face go from mild anxiety to extreme anxiety, and then suddenly her eyes widened, and she looked up at me.

"Hang on... Uesugi-san..."

"Yes?"

"These pages..."

"...Yes?"

She frowned. "They're all hand-written."

"...Yes."

"Over a hundred of them."

"...Yes?"

"Did... did you do all of these by hand? All one-hundred of them?"

"It's actually one-hundred and sixteen, but yes, I did. I put it together last night."

Yotsuba looked down at the page again, and I could almost see the gears turning in her head. Then, she looked back up at me.

"...Thank you."

I smiled. "You're welcome. Make sure you work through all of it."

Yotsuba nodded wordlessly, and then flipped to page one. I also continued with my own work, my pencil scratching against the paper. We continued studying in this fashion for the next hour or so, Yotsuba occasionally pausing to ask me questions. After about an hour, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that I'd received an e-mail from Raiha.

"Hey, Yotsuba."

"Hmm?"

"Raiha says that my dad wants me to come home before heading over to your place. Shall we take a break now, and I'll head over to your place for about seven? I'll just have dinner at my place."

"Oh, ok. Sure. Sounds good."

We both put our textbooks away, and packed up our bags. Yotsuba attempted to put the binder in hers, but then realized it wouldn't fit, and simply stowed it under her arm. We walked down to the footlockers together, and I was moderately surprised to see that there were still students milling around.

I guess this is a bit earlier than we usually leave.

After we'd both changed our footwear, we walked to the front gate together. Yotsuba pulled out her phone to call a cab to go home.

"Ok, so you'll be at my place at about seven?"

"Yep."

"Ok, sounds good! Ah, Uesugi-san, please give me your hand for a moment."

Confused, I extended my hand out. Instead of taking it, Yotsuba put her own hand on top of it.

"Alright. Our mission -- reconvene at nineteen-hundred hours! Our goal -- to study lots of stuff! Our motto -- kick ass!"

"Uhhhhh..."

" Right !" Yotsuba yelled. "Three, two, one -- DISPERSE!"

She immediately moved her hand under mine, and then threw it up over her head, causing my hand to shoot up as well. Then she laughed, and ran over to the spot where she normally waited for her taxi. I watched her go, and despite myself, I could feel a smile sneaking its way across my face. I shook my head, and turned to start my journey home. As I walked, I laughed quietly to myself .

"Idiot."

Chapter 14: The Storm on the Horizon

Chapter 14:

The Storm on the Horizon

After parting ways with Yotsuba, I made my way home as quickly as I could. When I finally arrived, my dad was sitting at the table drinking a cup of tea. Raiha was sitting across from him, cross-legged on the floor. As soon as I walked into the main room, I could immediately tell that my little sister was anxious. My dad, on the other hand, seemed even more relaxed than usual.

"Hey, kid. Come sit down."

Apprehensively, I walked over to the table, and sat down next to Raiha.

"Dad, what's going on...?"

My dad wordlessly took a long sip of his tea. Raiha leaned over to me, and whispered in my ear.

"He's been doing that every time I ask him that for the last hour."

"Wow. Obnoxious," I muttered back to her. "This is either really bad, or it's--"

"Now then," my father said, interrupting me. "Hear ye, hear ye! I've gathered you both here today for a family announcement."

I narrowed my eyes at his tone.

It's definitely a good thing. He's being way too friggin' dramatic for it to be a bad thing.

"You know how I got that promotion?"

"...Yes, I do recall that happening," I said drily.

"Well," my dad said, rubbing his finger under his nose like he was some anime character who was supremely pleased with himself, "corporate have decided they want me to have a lil' more training, so they're paying to send me to a one-week workshop on management and leadership!"

"Go dad!" Raiha cheered.

I blinked. "That's great, but why did that warrant a fami--"

"Anyways," my dad said, punctuating each syllable, "the issue is that the workshop isn't in Nagoya. It's in Tokyo."

A pause.

"I see."

"For a week."

"...Ah."

I was starting to see the issue. Raiha, on the other hand, didn't.

"That sounds like a fun trip! Make sure to bring some souvenirs!"

My dad locked eyes with me. "You get it, right?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I do. Don't worry, I can handle it. When do they want you to go?"

"This coming Wednesday."

I blinked, and then my eyes widened.

Oh shit.

I slammed my hands down on the table, a sudden burst of anger coursing through me. "Are you serious?! That's such short notice!"

My dad shrugged. "There's not much I can do, y'know kid? Sometimes, things happen on short notice. Opportunities comes first to the prepared, and those who are willing to take the initiative. I need to take this opportunity by the horns."

"It's for a week right? So you wouldn't be back until the first day of midterms!"

"Yes."

I leaned back, and rubbed my temples, my anger still bubbling below the surface. "This is terrible timing."

"I know. I'm sorry, kid."

Raiha was looking back and forth between the two of us, confusion written all over her face.

"What are you talking about? Why would Dad going to Tokyo for a week be a problem if the company is paying for it?"

My dad reached over and tousled her hair, which just made her scowl at him.

"It's not a problem, kiddo. Problem is way too strong of a word. This just throws a wrench in Fuutarou's plans for the next week and a half, which is something I feel pretty badly about."

Raiha blinked, pulling her head out from under my dad's hand to stare at him directly. "I don't get it. Did you two have plans?"

The two of us shared a look, and then I sighed, my frustration temporarily receding at the innocent look on Raiha's face. "You remember how I was planning to spend pretty much every day between now and midterms studying with Yotsuba at her and her sisters' apartment?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"If Dad's in Tokyo, I can't do that."

Raiha frowned. "Why not?"

I glanced at my dad.

Help, I indicated silently.

My wordless plea seemed to have been received, because my dad took up the explanation from there.

"Raiha, you're an eleven year old girl. You're very responsible for your age, but you're still too young to be left basically alone for a week. After all, I still take you to and from school every day, because it's too far for you to walk, and I'm not comfortable having you take the bus alone yet. Also, the only reason I'm ok with taking all these late shifts at work is because I know Fuutarou will be here to keep an eye on you -- you're only on your own for a few hours at most."

Raiha seemed absolutely shocked at this assessment.

"I... I'm the problem?"

"Like I said, problem is too strong of a word, kiddo. It's just a reality of life as a parent... and as an older brother. There are certain things you can't do because there are people who depend on you."

Raiha looked back and forth between him and me, her lower lip trembling slightly. Then, she sighed. "I guess... I feel really bad though! I didn't want to get in the way of Onii-chan's date."

I frowned. "It wasn't a date to begin with."

Then I turned to my dad, my anger still bubbling below the surface. "This puts me in a real bind, Dad. I can't drop my plans with Yotsuba. If I abandon her here, she'll fail. To be honest, I'm not convinced she won't fail even if I give it my all -- but I don't want to just consign her to her fate."

My dad frowned. "I mean, when you put it like that..."

Then he shook his head. "Look, if you make sure that Raiha isn't left alone for crazy long periods of time, I'm fine with you continuing with your plans. But you can't be leaving her alone for four or five hours straight every evening. If you can find a way around that barrier, then everything's fine. Regardless, though, you need to be there for your sister."

My anger slowly receded at the olive branch that my father was offering me. I slowly leaned back, and noted that Raiha was looking at me with a worried expression on her face.

"I guess there is one solution," I mused.

"What's that?"

"I could take Raiha with me to the Nakanos' apartment, and--"

"Vetoed."

I widened my eyes in surprise at the speed with which my Dad shot down the idea. Raiha frowned as well.

"But Dad, I'd get to hang out with Yotsuba-nee-chan, and I'd make sure to not be in the way! I feel bad that I'm going to ruin Onii-chan's plans..."

My dad shook his head. "First of all, it was me, not you. Don't blame yourself. I need to be clear though -- that's not a good solution."

"...Why not?" I asked, furrowing my brow, my annoyance temporarily replaced by confusion.

"Look, kid," my dad said. "I'm gonna be blunt about this. You're brilliant at academics and problem solving, but social skills have never been your strongest quality. Even before you became a studying addict, you didn't have good social awareness. So I'm going to lay it out for you."

I was moderately offended to hear it stated so plainly, but a small part of my brain was whispering at me: He's right, you know.

Annoyed, I contented myself with just sending a scathing glare.

"Ok, fine," I grumbled. "Explain it to me."

My dad sighed. "You can't ask acquaintances to watch your kid sister for tens of hours over the course of a week for you. Hell, I'm not even sure I would be comfortable with doing that with a close friend."

I frowned. "What, do you not trust them?"

"It's not about trust, kid! It's rude! It's really, really rude! It's a massive imposition!"

That pulled me up in my tracks. My relationship with Yotsuba was such that I never really thought about politeness or rudeness... but an image of Nino scowling at me flared in my head, and I realized that, no matter how cute Raiha was, having her present in the house for dozens of hours over the course of a week would be the sort of thing that would upset Nino... and possibly her other sisters too.

Actually, as much as she likes her... that might not go over well with Yotsuba either. It's one thing to have a friend over a ton... it's another thing to have the friend's little sister knocking around for hours on end.

I growled and put my head in my hands. "Ok, I'll need to think of a solution. I can't just abandon her, but I've also got to make sure Raiha is taken care of."

"Please don't talk about me like I'm not here," Raiha suddenly said quietly.

I looked up, and saw that she had a deep frown on her face. A sudden pang of guilt ran through my chest.

"Sorry, Raiha," I said, frowning. "My bad."

"It's ok. I just... I want to be part of the solution. I'm sorry for not being older."

I leaned over and gave Raiha a hug with one arm. Her eyes widened at the uncharacteristically straightforward display of affection.

"You're not allowed to apologize for that, or anything involving this. It's my responsibility as your brother. You haven't done a single thing wrong."

Raiha looked up at me, a small smile returning to her face, and then I smirked.

"Well, recently, anyways."

"Onii-chan!"

"Anyways," my dad said, getting up, a hint of a laugh on his lips, "in apology, I'll cook dinner tonight. You kids sit tight. You have almost a week to figure out what to do -- you don't have to decide tonight."

He started to walk over to the kitchen -- but paused when he noticed that Raiha and I were both looking at him in apprehension.

"Dad," Raiha said delicately, "...don't you remember what happened last time you tried to cook dinner?"

"I think the ceiling still has the smoke stains," I said much less gently, glancing up at the spot over the stove. "Yep, they're definitely still there."

"Oof, you wound me, kids," he said, frowning. "That was me experimenting with flambé. I promise not to set anything on fire this time."

He turned, and went into the kitchen. Hesitantly, Raiha and I sat back on the floor in our respective spots at the table as my dad made dinner. About twenty minutes later, a passable-looking stir-fry was placed before us. The vegetables seemed... fine?

As I tentatively pulled the food upward to put it in my mouth, Raiha suddenly started coughing, and then doubled over, her forehead flat on the floor.

"Eh? Raiha, are you alright?!"

My sister looked up at me, tears streaming down her face.

"S...spicy..."

I turned back to my meal. Now that I noticed it, there was some sort of sauce that seemed to be coating the food. Apprehensively, I slowly lifted a bit to my mouth and, mustering my courage, I put the food in my mouth. At first, it seemed fine -- just a little salty perhaps...

Within fifteen seconds, I was in the exact same position as Raiha.

"Huh? You guys are being dramatic! Come on, I didn't make it that spicy!"

"D-Dad..." I coughed out, "W-What is this stuff?"

"Oh," he said, pondering. "I got my first paycheque after my pay raise, so I went shopping today, and decided to splurge a bit on spices! I made a sauce out of it. I believe this one is called..."

He turned around and went into the kitchen, and read the package.

"Ka-i-e-nu. Not sure what it is, but I figured I'd give it a try!"

"Please let me see that," I said weakly. He handed me the hefty package of spice, and I groaned as I looked at the label.

"Dad, that says cayenne. How much did you use?!"

My dad stared at me blankly. "Three scoops with the biggest measuring cup? I didn't think about it too much. One for each of us!"

I got up and stumbled my way over to the kitchen, my mouth on fire. I pulled out the largest measuring cup we had, and looked down at it.

250 ml (1 cup).

I immediately opened the fridge, clumsily poured myself a large glass of milk, and chugged the whole thing within about two seconds. Then, I did it again.

"Hey!" my dad complained. "That's a waste of milk!"

I poured a third glass, walked shakily over to where my sister was now curled up in the fetal position, and rolled her over onto her back. I slowly helped her drink the milk from the cup, and her face seemed to relax a little bit. Raiha opened her eyes and weakly gazed up at me.

"O...nii-chan... avenge... me..."

Then, her head lolled to the side, and she moved no more. I slowly lowered her to the floor, tears rolling down my face as I was faced with the horrid fate that had befallen my sister.

"Don't worry, Raiha. I'll make sure to bury you somewhere nice," I said quietly. "Your death will not have been in vain."

"Oh, come on! It isn't THAT bad!" my dad complained.

"YES IT IS!", we both yelled in unison, Raiha propping herself up on one elbow to make her feelings heard.

My dad scowled. "I'll show you both."

Grumpily, he leaned over to his own bowl, and shovelled a huge load of the stuff into his mouth. He chewed, he swallowed, and then he stared at us both smugly.

Then, he was also on the floor, tears streaming down his face.

In the face of the devastation wrought by the dish, we ended up deciding to put the food in a community compost bin. After she'd sufficiently recovered, Raiha took over cooking duties, and my father was exiled into the night to deliver the ruined food. Normally, I would have insisted on us finishing it anyways so as not to waste money, but my dad declared that it wasn't safe -- in his words, "an unprecedented evil."

I glanced at a clock, and grimaced when I saw that it was already 6:30. I pulled out my phone, and sent an e-mail to Yotsuba.

<Hey, my dad kept me longer than I wanted. May be there closer to 7:30. Sorry.>

A few minutes later, my phone buzzed in response.

<All good. Is everything alright?>

I pondered for a moment, glanced at Raiha, and then typed back:

<Unsure at present. Will evaluate and update.>

<Beep Boop. Re-ceived. Yotsuba Model 428 will lodge this information in her memory banks, and pro-ceed accordingly. Beep Boop!>

I snorted. Come on, it wasn't that robotic of a thing to say, was it?

My dad took a surprisingly long time to get back -- by the time he did, Raiha had already finished dinner version two. He seemed shifty, his eyes not quite making contact with mine. As he sat, I watched him, my eyes narrowed. Raiha placed the food in front of us, and I slowly lifted it to my mouth.

She had made another stir-fry, but this one seemed much more devoid of desire to destroy my sinuses. I glanced over at her. "This is delicious, Raiha."

"Thanks! Guess how much cayenne I put in!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Zero?"

"Actually, I used a tiny amount, just a pinch of it. Betcha couldn't tell!"

"No, I couldn't" I marvelled. "This doesn't taste like the foodstuff of Beelzebub at all!"

"Hey," growled my dad, "I know it was spicy, but please don't imply I made a deal with the devil."

"You didn't?"

"No, the lady at the store who gave me the fifteen-percent off coupon was very nice. Not demonic at all."

I snorted. "Great, Dad's making deals with she-devils now."

"Hey, that's rude kid."

I shrugged. "Anyways, I really need to go. I originally promised Yotsuba I'd be there for seven o'clock, and I'm going to be late for the revised time I gave her. Thanks for the food, Raiha."

I got up and washed my bowl out, and then grabbed my bag, threw on my jacket, and made for the door.

"Ah, hold on there a second, kid."

I turned back to look at my dad, my eyebrow raised.

"Take this with you."

My dad got up, and grabbed something from by the door into the main room. He walked over, and handed me a small shopping bag from a nearby supermarket. I looked down at it, then looked back up at him quizzically.

"Dad, this... had better not be what I think it is."

"Huh?" he said, furrowing his brow. "What would you -- oh, hah! Yeah, I would do that, wouldn't I? No, it's not..."

He leaned in a bit closer, so Raiha couldn't hear.

"No, it's not protection. You're seventeen, you're old enough to get that stuff yourself. Nah, I figured if you're going to be spending so much time over there, you can at the very least give them a present. You said that one of the girls... what was her name? Nina?"

"Nino."

"Right, her. You said she likes to cook, right? I went to the supermarket and grabbed an assortment of spices. I also grabbed some coffee syrups. Not sure what else would be good, but it's always polite to bring a gift if you're invited somewhere, y'know?"

I stared down at the bag, now dumbfounded in a different way. I then looked up at him, and silently nodded.

Despite the way he is... my dad can be pretty thoughtful, huh?

"Alright, well, I've said my piece. You know you need to find a solution for this situation, but hopefully that makes it a bit easier. Have a good time!"

"Thanks," I said, a font of affection welling up for my father.

"Also, if you do need protection, I put a lil' something in your wallet!"

"God damn it, dad!" I yelled, and closed the door. I could hear him laughing his head off inside as I marched away, my face warm in the cool October air. I checked my wallet as I waited for the bus, and sure enough, there was a present waiting for me inside. Scowling, I closed the thing and shut my eyes.

Why does absolutely nobody in my life believe me about this romance thing?!

Then I frowned.

I guess you technically don't need romance to engage in the biological act...

I shook my head.

Stupid. The distraction from studying involved is equivalent. Forget about it.

The bus arrived, and before long I was standing at the base of the Pentagon, staring up at its looming mass. I checked the time on my phone, and saw with relief that I still had a few minutes to spare before I was late. Well, I was already late, but if I was late for my revised time, that would have made me extra late.

I walked over to the panel, and tentatively put in the number for the Nakanos' apartment. There were a few moments of ringing, and then a familiar voice rang out from the speakers.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh no, is this the classic 'hey, it's me' scam?"

I scowled, even though I knew she couldn't see my face.

"Who tries that at a house? Also, the 'hey, it's me' scam doesn't work that well if you can't see the person."

"Not sure that one's true, but it is what it is. I'll choose to trust you this time. I'll ring you in, Fuutarou-kun. It'll just be our secret, ok?"

There was a buzz, and then the door opened, but I just stared at the intercom system as it went dead.

"Fuutarou-kun?" I said out loud.

I stepped inside, and walked over to the marble-floored elevator, my eyes unfocused as my thoughts turned inwards, trying to analyze and piece together this new development. Absently, I pushed the button for the thirtieth floor, and the metal box began to rise.

Either Yotsuba has suddenly decided to change how she calls me, or that wasn't Yotsuba. The voice sounded almost exactly the same though.

I frowned.

Was that Ichika trying to confuse me? She's the only one who calls me 'Fuutarou-kun'. But on the other hand, how would she even have known it was me before I spoke? I guess she knew I was coming... Ugh, I'm so confused.

I could feel a dull pain growing behind my eyes, but I was pretty sure that was just because of the evening's antics, and not due to any mental stress. Finally, the elevator dinged, and I was let out onto the thirtieth floor. For the second time, I found the door with the Nakanos' name on it in golden letters, and opened it wide.

"Ah! Uesugi-san, you're here!"

Definitely Ichika then.

Yotsuba bounded over to me, a grin on her face.

"Look, look! I've got a fantastic spread almost as great as last time!"

I looked over at the coffee table to see that, indeed, Yotsuba had managed to deck out the whole thing with dips and chips. It was slightly less elaborate than the previous time, but no less heartfelt.

"Wow, that's... certainly opulent."

"Heh heh, indeed! I am the queen of the spread, and of the dip!" Yotsuba said, a triumphant smirk plastered across her face. "Come in, come in!"

I took off my shoes, and looked around the apartment. Nino was doing dishes, and paused to give me a death-glare... though it felt a bit more perfunctory than before. Or perhaps that was my imagination. Sitting on the couches next to the coffee table was Ichika, holding a mug filled with some kind of beverage. She had a giant knitted sweater on, and looked supremely comfortable. As I made eye contact, she gave me a lazy half-smile. I didn't see Itsuki or Miku anywhere in the apartment.

"Eh, Uesugi-san, what are you holding?"

I started, and looked down at my hand.

"Oh, right -- my dad wanted me to send our regards to all of you."

I handed it with both hands to Yotsuba with a slight bow. She seemed surprised, but after a moment shrugged and took it. I stepped into the room, and we both sat down at the coffee table. Yotsuba opened the bag, and pulled out the items that my dad had bought.

"Oooh, I want dibs on the coffee syrups," Ichika said, leaning over to look. "I bet Itsuki will like these too."

"One of them is 'birthday cake' flavoured," Yotsuba said, staring down at it. "How does a birthday cake taste different from a regular cake?"

"Festivity?" I suggested, and she snorted. Then, she raised her hand before her dramatically, like she was giving a Shakespearean soliloquy.

"Gathered scientists, we are excited to announce the newest results in gastronomy! In addition to the five commonly known tastes, we at the Nagoya Institute of Tasting Stuff have discovered a sixth taste! On top of sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and umami, the human experience will be enriched by one more!"

Then she winked, and snapped dramatically to make finger guns.

"Bein' hella happy!"

I chuckled despite myself. Then, a hand reached over Yotsuba's shoulder, and plucked the assorted spices out of the bag.

"Let me have a look at this."

We all turned around to see Nino inspecting the box of spices. I saw one of her eyebrows slowly rise as she read the list, and then she nodded.

"Well, Uesugi, it looks like at least someone in your family understands cooking. I'll make good use of these. I might even let you have one small bite."

Smirking, she took the box and opened it in the kitchen. Inside were about twenty different small containers of spices. Nino set herself to organizing them and was soon busy reading about how the different spices combined to create different flavour combinations. After a few minutes, she started humming to herself with a surprisingly innocent smile on her face.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that my dad was a bigger idiot than I was when it came to making food.

He probably just asked the sales person for advice.

I glanced back over at the two girls near me on the couch, and then shook my head.

"By the way, Yotsuba, I've got to say, I never realized before now how identical your voices are. When Ichika answered the buzzer, I totally thought it was you until she said my name."

Yotsuba laughed. "You've been my friend for over a month now, and you didn't notice that we all have the same voice and look the same? You know, you're a genius, but you can be kinda a dunce sometimes, Uesugi-san!"

I shrugged. "Fair enough. You just all have such different... I guess the best way to say it is tone, that I usually don't have trouble telling you apart when I can see your faces, and you're wearing your accessories. Over the intercom though..."

Ichika smiled deviously. "Sounds like we need to subject this young man to a quintuplets game, and put him in his place."

I frowned. "I don't know what that is, but I don't like the sound of 'put him in his place'."

Yotsuba shook her head. "That does sound like it would be really fun, but Uesugi-san and I need to get to studying. We've already lost a lot of time!"

Ichika pouted in that distinctly Ichika way. "Ah, fine. That's boring. Studying puts me to sleep, so I'm going to go..."

Then she paused.

"Wait, if I go for a nap, and studying puts me to sleep, aren't I just sleeping either way?"

"...Yes?"

"Hmm," she said. "In that case, I'd rather sleep without the lecture. See ya, Fuutarou-kun."

With that, she rose to her feet, finished off her drink, and seemed to almost glide over to the sink, where she washed out her cup, put it away, and then ascended the stairs. I watched her go with a scowl on my face.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, what's wrong?" Yotsuba asked.

"I wasn't planning on lecturing her anyways," I muttered quietly. "I'm here to help you."

Yotsuba smiled. "Ah, well, what can you do. Wanna get started?"

"Yeah, sure..."

Yotsuba and I shifted so that we were across the table from each other, her sitting on the floor on a pillow. I'd asked if she wanted the couch, but she declined almost immediately. We pulled out our notebooks, and Yotsuba pulled out the binder I'd given her earlier in the day. We diligently began to work, only occasionally interrupted by stray comments by Nino, who was completely enamoured with the spice kit, though she was doing her best (and failing) to hide it.

"Ah, Uesugi-san! I have a question about this bit!"

I leaned over the table to look down at her page upside-down.

"This word problem -- I think I understand what it's trying to ask, but I don't get at all how to set up the equations for it! It says, 'You want to paint a house, which consists of a rectangle with a width of seven metres and a length of ten metres, and a triangle sitting on top of it. The triangle has a base of ten metres, and a height of five metres. What surface area do you need to paint?'"

I leaned back, and bit my lip, trying to think how best to explain it.

"Alright... let me ask you a couple of questions. I think you can probably figure out the answer on your own if I do."

"O-Ok! Roger!" Yotsuba said, saluting.

Seeing that, I leaned forward again. Suddenly...

"Private Yotsuba!" I barked

"Y-Yes!"

"What is the formula for the area of a rectangle?"

"The area of a rectangle is given by its length times its width! Sir!"

"Correct. You get a tortilla chip."

Yotsuba happily grabbed a tortilla chip, and started to put it in her mouth.

"Haaaaaalt!"

Yotsuba froze.

"Eh? What's wrong?!"

"Private Yotsuba!"

Yotsuba immediately straightened her shoulders.

"Y-Yes sir?!"

"What's the area of a triangle?"

"...Eh?!"

"You're about to eat a triangle. In order to eat the triangle, you must understand the triangle. And in order to understand the triangle, you must know the formula for the area of a triangle."

"Oh. That... makes sense? I think? Uhh... Oh! It's the base of the triangle, times the height of the triangle!"

"Close, but not quite."

Yotsuba scrunched up her face.

"Divided... by two?"

"Yes. So, you know the area of a rectangle, given its side lengths, and you know the area of a triangle, given its base and height. How can you find the area of a triangle on top of a rectangle, like this problem is asking for?"

"It's... oh! I see, it's just the area of the rectangle, plus the area of the triangle. So that makes it... ah! It's ninety-five metres squared!"

"Correct," I said, leaning back on the couch.

"Thanks, Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba said. Then she grinned, her eye-brows furrowing to give her a mischievous look. "Shi shi shi, I'm gonna earn that promotion in no time. You're gonna be dealing with a Corporal Yotsuba soon! I'm gonna go on the biggest power trip!"

"You're still a million years too early for that."

We both laughed at that. In the kitchen, I was pretty sure I heard Nino dramatically gag, but I just ignored her.

After about an hour of studying like this, I heard the sound of a door opening, and a star-spangled quintuplet came down the stairs. As Itsuki walked over to the washroom, she glanced over, and saw that we were studying at the coffee table. We made eye contact, she nodded to me, and then went inside.

When she came back out a few minutes later, she came over and stood next to the table.

"Is... is it alright if I join you for a bit?" She asked tentatively. I glanced over at Yotsuba, and was surprised to see a slightly apprehensive look on her face. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yotsuba is the one who's being helped with studying right now, so I'm going to say it's up to her."

My ribboned friend seemed to think about it for a second, and then her eyes narrowed. "It's fine... as long as you're actually studying, and aren't just after my fantastic spread!"

Itsuki shiftily glanced to the side. "N...no, I just want to study! My intentions are totally pure. I definitely didn't want to get in on some of these dips..."

I raised an eyebrow.

Fascinating.

Itsuki temporarily retreated upstairs, and returned with her textbooks about a minute later. We shifted the fantastic spread (version two) to make room for her, and then continued to study. Perhaps out of respect for the fact that I had come primarily to help Yotsuba, Itsuki refrained from asking me too many questions -- though I had the sense that she badly wanted to. There was something about the way she seemed to be on edge that suggested that she was dying to get help from somebody not named Second Place-san.

I respect her desire to do things on her own... but it's ok to ask for help as well occasionally.

A few hours later, Yotsuba leaned back and stretched. "Geez, studying is tiring! How do you do this for so many hours a day, Uesugi-san?"

"Sheer willpower," I responded absent-mindedly, flipping a page in my textbook. My hand was beginning to ache, but I ignored it.

"Why do you study so much anyways, Uesugi-kun?" Itsuki asked.

"Reasons," I replied, putting a salted cracker in my mouth.

"What are those reasons?" Itsuki asked again.

I swallowed the cracker, and then said "A complex array of psychological motivations stemming from events in my past."

"I asked what those reasons are, not what the definition of a reason is, Uesugi-kun!"

"I said what I said," I smirked, popping another snack in my mouth. "Yotsuba, you really out-did yourself this time, huh? These are great."

"Thanks!"

Then, Yotsuba frowned. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Did you ever 'evaluate and update' if everything was alright earlier?"

Itsuki looked at her like she had two heads.

"Beep boop. Your query has not been completed. Beep boop." I said with a completely straight face. Itsuki looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and then shook her head.

"You're both so weird."

"Yes." I said. "But you knew that already."

I then turned back to Yotsuba. "Yeah, I was delayed because my dad wanted to talk to me. He's apparently going to Tokyo for a week starting on Wednesday, so I need to be home to watch Raiha. Unless we find some kind of solution, I'm not going to be able to study with you after school starting on Wednesday."

Yotsuba looked thunderstruck. "Wait... but..."

"So," I said emphatically, "we're going to find some kind of solution. I'm not going to abandon you, don't worry."

Yotsuba let out a huge sigh of relief. "Oh, phew! I had a mild heart attack there."

"Do you have any ideas for what we can do?"

Yotsuba pondered. "We could maybe have Raiha just hang out here while we study...?"

At the exact same time that I said "My dad vetoed that", Nino said "Hell no" from the kitchen. Yotsuba frowned at her sister.

"You don't even know Raiha! She's so cute!"

"Yeah, but I don't want some kid I don't know messing around here for like four hours at a time every day for an entire week. I don't need two Uesugis running all over the place."

"I'm pretty sure I'm sitting," I said mildly. "Anyways, that solution is, unfortunately, out."

"Hmm..." Yotsuba said. "Well then, I guess there's only one solution after all."

"What's that?"

"I guess we'll just have to study at your place! Then you can keep an eye on Raiha and we can get the studying done!"

A completely irrational bolt of panic went through me, and I found myself unconsciously seeking the eye of Itsuki, the only one in the room who knew of my circumstances. She met my eye, and I saw her glance at the balcony... and at how small it was. I thought back to my words to her a month before, when I had compared the size of our apartment to their balcony, and had found it lacking. She met my eye again, shrugged, and I sighed internally.

There's no helping it, huh?

"I... guess that's fine. I'm going to warn you now, though. It's small."

I wasn't sure why I didn't want to tell her about our situation. Maybe it was because Nino was listening, and I somehow felt that she would comment. Maybe it was because somewhere deep inside my heart an irrational, base part of me was ashamed, even though there was nothing to be ashamed of.

Maybe part of me was just scared that it would change how Yotsuba saw me.

"Ok! So then, I guess starting on Wednesday, we'll switch locations and get our study on at the Uesugi household!" Yotsuba declared.

"Yep, I guess so." I said, feeling strangely deflated. Then, I glanced up at the clock.

"Come on. We've got another two hours of studying to go."

Yotsuba was the one to deflate this time.

"M...Maybe a small break?" she said.

I glanced at her binder. I glanced at the clock. Then I sighed.

"Fine. A short break. I'm going to make sure you make up for the lost time though."

As Yotsuba leaned back and started chatting with Itsuki, I glanced down at the binder again... and for the first time, I emotionally felt the monumental height of the wall that we were trying to overcome. My words to my father came, unprompted, back into my head.

I'm not convinced she won't fail even if I give it my all.

Chapter 15: The Storm Strikes

Chapter 15:

The Storm Strikes

The next day was Saturday, and I arrived at the Nakanos' apartment fairly early -- though not as early as the time a month prior. I was buzzed in by Yotsuba, and soon found myself set up on the coffee table with her sitting cross-legged across from me. As we got to work, I noted that the fantastic spread was smaller than it had been the day before -- perhaps Yotsuba hadn't had the energy needed to develop a more opulent rendition, given how late we'd studied the night before.

As we plowed ahead with both social studies and English, I could see the forced concentration on Yotsuba's face. It had been a mere ten hours since we had previously parted ways, and I doubted she was fully recovered from the last session. Hell, my hand was still mildly sore, and I was used to this level of studying -- though now that I thought back on it, my soreness was probably due to making an entire binder worth of material in one night.

As Yotsuba studied, I worked on developing a second binder of material for her. The contents of the first covered approximately up until the end of the second term of our first year, and so I had been hopeful that she would be able to finish that first binder by Monday or Tuesday evening. However, with the pace she was making...

"Hey, Uesugi-san, can you explain this bit?"

"Ah. Yeah, sure..."

Yotsuba pulled a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear as she listened to my explanation, her eyes on me and nodding occasionally. As she nodded, her bow bounced over top her head as though it, too, were acknowledging my words. Somehow, that gave me a strange sense of satisfaction.

We're off to a slow start.

As Yotsuba flipped to the next page of the binder, she let out a yelp, and immediately stuck her finger in her mouth. She stood up, and pulled it out to look at it.

"Paper cut?"

"Yep. Ow..."

Yotsuba left the table and went into the bathroom, presumably to apply a bandage and some antibiotic cream. I was left there alone at the table, and I took the opportunity to continue working on the second binder for Yotsuba. It was a nice review for me -- the material I usually studied was of a significantly higher level.

...Geez, why is my back so stiff?

Maybe my posture needed some work. I'd spent so much time hunched over on the couch the previous night and this morning that my back was beginning to get sore. I put down my pencil, gently closed the binder, and leaned back on the couch. I arched my spine and stretched my hands far above my head to their full extension; the relief it brought the muscles in my back and upper arms was enough to make me sigh with pleasure. I closed my eyes, basking in the sweet sensation.

I felt the couch compress slightly as someone sat down next to me, and so I opened my eyes again and glanced over.

"That looked like a nice stretch."

The girl with headphones next to me put down her cup of tea, and joined me in stretching. I wasn't entirely sure if she was showing camaraderie, or if she was just mocking me -- but I decided to assume it was the former. It was just easier that way -- plus, her face seemed completely innocent.

"Morning, Miku," I said, rolling my arms and then leaning forward again. "Yeah, it was -- I needed that. My posture is... how do I put this? Hot garbage."

She leaned forward, picked her tea back up, and took a slow sip. I opened the binder for Yotsuba back up, and began writing again. There was an awkward silence as neither of us said anything, a silence marred only by the sound of my pencil scratching on paper.

Miku took another sip of her tea.

I flipped back to the outline I'd pasted to the inside of the front cover of the binder, and frowned.

Ah, shoot. I've lost track of what I was supposed to be working on in this section. Curse past me and his ambiguous wording!

"What are you two studying, Fuutarou?" Miku asked me quietly.

"Hell if I know," I growled, frustratedly flipping back to the section I was working on. "I've completely messed up compared to my outline I wrote. I'm going to need to restructure the binder so that I don't waste like ten pages of work."

"It's probably not a good thing if the tutor doesn't know what he and the student are studying, you know."

I sighed. "Right? Oh well, it's not a fatal error, we can handle it. I'm just annoyed at myself. I don't normally make sloppy mistakes like this."

Then I sharply looked up at her. "Also, I'm not a tutor -- we're studying together, I'm just helping her study."

Miku nodded. "Oh. I see."

She quietly sipped her tea. We both sat there for a few moments. Then...

"So... what's the difference between that and being a tutor?"

I frowned. "Well, for one thing, there's no financial transaction involved."

"Friends tutor each other all the time, though. There's usually no money involved."

"Well, I..." I paused, and stared down at the binder , my pencil coming to a halt . "...huh. Maybe you're right."

T here was a moment of almost smug silence from Miku. She sipped her tea again .

Then I scowled, and resumed writing. "I just don't like the term, though, at least applied to myself."

Miku frowned. "That's a bit of a weird hang-up, Fuutarou."

"It's not a hang-up. It's just... you know what, nevermind. I need to finish re-organizing this."

Miku leaned forward. "Now I'm curious. I want to know why you don't like being called a tutor."

I stared down at the page in front of me. Unbidden, the barest hints of images began to form in the forefronts of my memory. Immediately, violently, I mentally swatted them away.

No. Shush. Silence. Shut thy piehole. I'm busy right now, brain.

"I most humbly petition that this subject be consigned to the realm of the past, and forbidden entry unto the present, lest it taint the here and now with its murky presence. Indeed, my lady, I most passionately request that thou acquiesce to my behest."

"So, does that mean you don't want to talk about it?" Miku said, an odd smile growing on her face, perhaps at my usage of archaic Japanese.

"It means that I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't want to talk about what?"

I looked up to see that Yotsuba had returned, and was hovering over the table, a vaguely worried look on her face. Miku smiled.

"Fuutarou's... hang ups."

"Eh?" Yotsuba said, and for some reason her face got a bit red. "W-What sort of hang ups?"

I shot Miku a look. "Phrasing."

The middle child took a long sip of her tea, letting the question hang in the air.

"Terminology," she finally said, a half-smile on her face.

Yotsuba's face scrunched up in confusion. "Terminology ? Uesugi-san, what is she talking about?"

" A body of terms used in a field, typically a technical one."

" I 'm pretty sure she know s what the word 'terminology' means, Fuutarou ." Miku said patiently .

I glanced away. " As I said, I don't want to talk about this. Let's get back to studying."

" Ah... alright," Yotsuba said, confusion still evident in both her face and her bow. She sat back down cross-legged at the table, and flipped her books back open. I looked down at her finger to see that it was firmly bandaged, and then glanced back up at her face to see that there was still a faint pink tinge to it.

...what the heck was she imagining about my so-called hang-ups?

A few more mental images attempted to find entry into my mind, but were held at bay by the firm iron walls of my willpower. Miku took another sip of her tea, and then sighed. I glanced over at her, and to my surprise saw that the half-smile was gone -- if anything, she seemed a bit sad. We made eye contact, and then she glanced away. A moment passed, and then...

"Sorry, Fuutarou. I didn't mean to pressure you into talking about something uncomfortable. My bad."

I was caught off-guard by her sudden apology, but I managed to nod my head.

"It's fine, I'm not that upset -- it's just not something I feel comfortable talking about."

Miku nodded, and went to sip her tea -- but then found to her dismay that the cup was empty. Despairingly, she got up, and went to go make herself more, and Yotsuba and I fully resumed our studying. Our progress was decent, but still left something to be desired. I occasionally checked the schedule I'd written out for the two weeks, and did some mental math. If we added another half-hour at the end of today, we might be able to make up for missed time... maybe.

Our study session continued over the next several hours, with Yotsuba occasionally asking me questions, and Miku sitting next to me on the couch drinking tea and watching videos on her phone, her headphones for once on her ears instead of around her neck. At some point, Ichika emerged from her room, made herself a quick bite to eat after saying hello, and then hurriedly departed the apartment. Supposedly, her job wanted her in for something urgent. Itsuki also came down a while later, but she departed almost immediately as well for an undisclosed location. To our collective shock, she declined any food before she left.

"Suspicious," Yotsuba muttered. "Veeeery suspicious."

"Yeah," I said, staring at the door as it closed behind her. "That is weird."

Eventually, Nino came downstairs. She looked exhausted, as though she'd stayed up far too late. When Miku asked her what she'd been doing, she admitted to experimenting with the spices she'd received from my dad until the early hours of the morning. Apparently, there were a few "interesting flavour profiles" that she'd discovered that she wanted to use in her cooking for the day -- though when she said 'cooking for the day', I glanced up at the clock which already read eleven-thirty in the morning.

Nino, thankfully, didn't notice my time check. She instead excitedly popped into the kitchen to experiment -- and then stopped dead in her tracks.

"Ugh, did Ichika cook something here?"

"Uh, I think she made herself breakfast before she went to work." I said.

Nino sighed. "Great, now the kitchen looks like her room. Guess lunch is gonna have to wait."

Nino busied herself with tidying the kitchen, and about fifteen minutes later, she seemed satisfied. I was also satisfied, but for a different reason -- I'd managed to finish rectifying the error I'd made with the ordering of the notes in the binder. It was now beginning to resemble the document I'd envisioned, ramping up in difficulty so as to serve as a runway to the material for the actual midterm.

"Hey," Nino called over. "I'm gonna start making lunch. Do you want some?"

"Oh, awesome," Yotsuba said, leaning back. "I'm just about ready for a break. I want some, Nino!"

"Me too," Miku said quietly.

Nino's gaze shifted to me, and she raised an eyebrow.

Huh, it's not an immediate dismissal, I mused. That's new. Alas...

"I'm fine, thank you. I brought my own."

From my bag, I pulled a small bento that I had prepared (with some contributions from Raiha) the evening before. I had intended to just come without, as I'd known Nino would cook -- but my father had insisted I bring my own food. Personally, I thought it was a bit odd to bring a bento to someone else's house, but it was such an insignificant thing as to be not worth the energy required to fight him on it. As such, a bento I had brought.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, you have a bento? What's in there?"

I shrugged. "I'll show you when I eat it. I'm not entirely sure -- part of it was made by Raiha. She refused to let me see that part, she indicated that it was, and I quote, a 'surprise'."

"Raiha-chan made that? I have to try some!" Yotsuba exclaimed. I raised my eyebrow.

"Excuse you, I made the majority of it, so I made it."

"Ah, I see. I want to taste the part Raiha-chan made though!"

Ouch.

I glanced back over at the kitchen to see that Nino had a completely unreadable expression on her face. She turned back into the kitchen, and made a quick lunch. While she cooked, we finished studying. We were on the social studies section, and were briefly discussing Sengoku warlords again, as the material we were currently covering was pre-requisite to the subject. I could see that Miku was doing her best to pretend to not be focusing on our conversation -- but in reality, it was very easy to tell we had her rapt attention. As Yotsuba got all sorts of names and dates wrong, I could practically feel Miku squirming in her seat.

Actually, she's right next to me, so that probably is her squirming in her seat.

I was saved from the wiggling of the girl next to me by Nino's announcement that lunch was ready. We put the books away, and moved over to sit at the kitchen table. Nino brought out food on plates for her two sisters, some type of sandwich with all sorts of meats and cheeses in the middle. It looked amazing.

Damn you, dad!

I sadly opened up by my own bento--

--and immediately slammed it shut again.

I could feel my face reddening against my will, and I put my head in my hands.

Raiha, why?! What the hell were you thinking?!

"Eh? Uesugi-san, what's wrong?"

I lifted my head out of my hands. "I think," I said through gritted teeth, my left eye twitching, "my sister and I are going to need to have a niiiiice long chat."

I'm gonna kill her.

"Huh? Did Raiha-chan put something weird in there?" Yotsuba asked. "Did she cover everything in pickled radishes? Is it uncooked squid? Man, that would be strange!"

"She definitely put something weird in there," I said, refusing to make eye-contact with her.

"Is that so? I wanna see, Uesugi-san! Open up!" Yotsuba said, cheerfully reaching for the bento. In a hurry, I pulled it away and clutched it to my chest. I certainly wouldn't go so far as to describe the feeling in my chest as panic; but rather... it was a very strong desire for Yotsuba to not see what my idiot sister had drawn on my rice.

Very strong.

"Not a chance. You're not getting within ten feet of this thing until I undo what my sister hath wrought."

Then I looked at where I was, where Yotsuba was positioned -- that is to say, sitting right next to me -- and re-appraised my statement.

"Scratch that. I'm not letting you within... uh, one and a half feet of my bento until then."

"Curses," she said, shaking her head. "You foiled my plan of staying exactly one and a quarter feet away! How dastardly, Uesugi-san!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, sure."

She playfully snatched at the bento again, and I held it at arm's reach over the table, angled away from her. Despite my mortal peril, I found myself with a faint smile beginning to cross my lips as she playfully snatched at it.

"Cut the flirting," Nino scowled, "I'm trying to eat here -- my sandwich doesn't need to see this."

"This isn't flirting, this is self-preservation," I scowled back at her. "Also, your sandwich doesn't have eyes. I need to go get rid of this."

I stood up, but immediately felt the bento wrenched out of my hands. I looked down to see it was gone, and then I looked at Yotsuba. She didn't have it either. I scanned the table until I realized that it was none other than Nino herself that had reached across and grabbed the bento.

"Give me that. God, it can't be that bad -- you're being dramatic."

She flipped the lid open.

Ah, shit.

As she stared into the bento, a strange look crossed Nino's face. I'd never seen an expression like that on her face before -- it almost looked like she was trying to contain peals of laughter. I could see her sides shaking, and her lips trembling as she tried desperately to hold it in. She took a deep breath, and managed to close the lid again with only the slightest of gusts of air escaping her lips.

"So, Uesugi... your sister is quite the artist, isn't she?" Nino said, her lips twitching again with mirth.

"Uh... you... could say that? I guess?" I said, wondering how much the fare across the River Styx was these days.

"Interesting," she commented, her tone about as nonchalant as possible given the situation.

"Hey, Nino, I wanna see Raiha-chan's art!" Yotsuba complained, reaching for the bento. Nino pulled it away from her, looked at me, and raised an eyebrow slightly. Then it seemed like another wave of almost-giggles hit her, and her hand tightened on the bento, her knuckles turning white.

"I'm-- I'm gonna cover for you, Uesugi. You owe me one."

Nino reached across the table, and grabbed my chopsticks. She then held them together to form a (slightly) thicker implement, and began vigorously stirring my rice -- thereby destroying the image that Raiha had created on the top out of basil leafs and ketchup. A barely-contained smirk lingering on her face, she handed it back to me.

"Noooo, Raiha-chan's art!" Yotsuba cried in despair.

"Uh... thanks, Nino," I said awkwardly.

"You're welcome," she said, a sadistic glint in her eyes, "but, you know, you're going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that I saw that."

"...There's no chance you would perhaps consider forgetting, right?"

"Absolutely none."

"...Drats."

Yotsuba pouted next to me. "Aww, I wanted to see, Uesugi-san! I bet it was interesting art!"

Nino turned her head away from all of us and put her hand in front of her mouth, and I could tell that she was on the verge of losing it.

"You... could say that," I said awkwardly.

"Tell me what it was!"

The image of what Raiha had drawn flashed unbidden before my eyes. A drawing of a girl made out of ketchup, with a giant heart around her. The girl's intended identity would have been completely indiscernible -- had it not been for the basil leaves serving as her bow. At the bottom, in huge letters, Raiha had written in English, 'LOVE'.

I can never, ever tell her.

"I'm going to take this secret to the grave," I said solemnly.

We finally got back to eating after I managed to quell the ribboned girl's protests , and as we ate Yotsuba eyed the wreckage of my bento.

"Hey, Uesugi-san, why don't you bring bentos to school? Since you can make them and all."

I sighed. "Believe me, I would if I could. I'm not sure if you noticed this particular rule in the student handbook, but we're not allowed to bring our own lunches. Do you really think I'd be spending money at the cafeteria otherwise?"

"Wait, is that really true?!"

Nino frowned across the table from me. "Yeah, it sucks. I'd been wanting to make myself home-made lunches, but we're not allowed. It's basically just a money grab."

"Ugh, that's the worst," Yotsuba complained. "Who thought that one up?"

I shrugged. " I think there was a complaint about allergies . Our school is a bit odd. What else is new?"

"I... guess that's true."

After we had finished our lunches, we got back to work. Over the course of the afternoon, I noticed that, contrary to our previous sessions, Yotsuba's energy levels seemed to have (temporarily, at least) decoupled from the level of fantastic spread remaining on the table. Her speed also seemed to have ticked up a bit, though still not nearly enough to completely make up for our slow start.

By the end of the day, we'd nearly covered all of the things I'd hoped to reach during the study session, so I was happy. In particular, as I'd hoped, I only needed to extend the session by about half an hour to make up for lost time. As I left for home at around seven o'clock, I could see that Yotsuba was exhausted, but proud of herself.

When I reached our apartment, I was supremely ready to give Raiha a telling off, but I walked in the door to find her asleep on top of her homework. She had the peaceful look of an angel on her face -- and it almost seemed a shame to wake her. I decided to let her sleep. My dad was, again, taking a late shift, and so it was just the two of us. After rummaging in the fridge, I found a small container of food left over from dinner, and I heated it up over the stove. About an hour later, I gently woke Raiha. When she asked me how my day was, I recounted it to her -- but left out the bit regarding Nino destroying her art.

No need to upset her.

Nevertheless, when she asked to help with my bento for the next day, I gently declined.

Sunday morning, I returned to the Nakanos' apartment bright and early once more. This time, when I arrived, Itsuki was sitting at the table with Yotsuba, helping her set up the fantastic spread -- but Yotsuba seemed absolutely exhausted. Given the exhaustion was probably my fault, I felt a bit guilty; but we'd ended significantly earlier than I would have had it just been me studying alone. It had, after all, been nearly fourteen hours since I'd left. More than enough time to recover.

I set up my books at the table, and Yotsuba sat cross-legged across from me, her textbooks and the dips intermingling, the line between spread and spread blurring. She seemed... significantly more tired than I would have expected. I wasn't sure if the long studying the day before had simply taken a greater toll on her than I'd thought, or if something else was going on. I shook my head, and opened the binder I was preparing to start the day's work.

The rest of the morning could only be described with one word -- gruelling. Yotsuba was unfocused due to her fatigue, and it took twice as long as usual for her to grasp the concepts that she was covering. It also didn't help that her tiredness led her to forget things that she had already learned. It felt like a huge backslide, one that made me immensely nervous. All we could really do was keep pressing forward, and hope for the best.

It doesn't feel like a good strategy. If the foundations are weak, the edifice built afterwards will easily crumble.

The time gains we'd made via Yotsuba's speed and the slightly extended session the previous day were wiped out almost immediately. By eleven o'clock, we were a solid two hours behind schedule, and I could tell that it was only going to get worse. I snapped my binder shut, and sat back. The loud noise startled Yotsuba, who was hunched over her notes, and she reeled back, her eyes wide.

"Eh? Uesugi-san...?"

"You," I said, pointing at her, "are going to take a break now."

"Eh?! I can keep going though..."

I shook my head. "You're unfocused and tired. We're taking an hour's break. Use the time how you like -- if you want to take a nap, take a nap. If you want to just relax and eat some of the snacks, do that. We'll be taking a separate break for lunch, so don't bother with that now."

"But... but the schedule..."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'd rather you rest and be in a mental state to tackle the afternoon's work than get an extra hour of exhausted studying in that you may not even remember tomorrow. Relax."

"But--"

"Itsuki, back me up here."

I turned to look at the youngest quintuplet, who was sitting on the couch at the end of the table. She froze, a tortilla chip sticking out of her mouth, and she stared at me for a moment like a deer caught in headlights. Then, she nodded her head. With a loud crack, she bit through the tortilla chip, and chewed and swallowed the bit that had been in her mouth.

"Uesugi-kun is right, Yotsuba. You're completely out of it. Take a break."

Yotsuba sighed. "I... guess you're right."

Itsuki put the rest of the tortilla chip back in her mouth. Yotsuba flopped on the floor, staring at the ceiling. There was a moment's silence, broken only by the sound of Itsuki chewing.

"By the way," I said, glancing at Itsuki, "did you think I wouldn't notice that you were sitting there eating Yotsuba's snacks?"

Itsuki froze again, and then her face reddened with embarrassment. "H-Hey, I'm studying too!"

"Is that so?"

"I am! Look, I have my textbooks and everything!"

I smirked. "I know. I'm just giving you a hard time."

Itsuki scowled. "You're an ass sometimes, Uesugi-kun."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Only sometimes?"

Itsuki muttered something into her tortilla chip, and got back to studying. I was pretty sure it wasn't complimentary, but I couldn't actually make out what she had said. Yotsuba sat back up, and looked around the apartment like she was lost.

"I... don't know what to do during my break." She said mournfully.

"Maybe go rest for a bit?" I said. "Why are you so tired, anyways? We didn't finish that late last night."

"Uhh... I... don't want to say?"

I blinked. "Oh. Alright. You don't have to, if you don't want to."

I wonder what I'll need to do to get her to tell me...

There was a moment's awkward silence, and then Yotsuba blurted out, "I tried to keep studying after you left."

Well t hat was easy.

"I see. How late did you stay up studying?"

Yotsuba bowed her head. "T-Two in the morning."

"Wow. Well, that certainly explains why you're so tired. So... how far did you get?"

Yotsuba's head dropped even further. "...Not far at all."

I furrowed my brow. Even with her distinct lack of studying acumen, that was almost eight hours of studying after I'd left. That was almost a complete school day worth of studying.

How did she manage to not make any progress?

"I... see. What was the problem?"

Yotsuba, her head bowed, squared her shoulders. "Well, without you there to answer my questions, I started going down a lot of rabbit-holes to try and figure out the answers, but then I just got more confused. Also, since you weren't there to keep me on track, I got distracted a lot. Have you ever seen a hydraulic press video before?"

"A what?"

"A hydraulic press video! It's just a video of stuff getting squished by a hydraulic press. There's something weirdly satisfying about it, y'know? Anyways, I was doing some of the science notes and I didn't really understand how pressure worked, so I googled some stuff about pressure and surface area and then I found a video of a guy squishing stuff in a hydraulic press and then I got super distracted..."

"By a video of some guy squishing stuff really hard."

"...Yeah."

"For eight hours."

"No! I got distracted by other stuff too. That was only like... four hours."

I sighed. "I can't leave you alone, can I?"

Yotsuba's head, if possible, drooped even further. "I'm sorry, Uesugi-san."

"You don't need to apologize to me for what you do in your own time. It's just... you can't study if you don't take care of yourself. You need to be well-rested so that your brain can process and store new information."

"...Right."

I pointed up to the rooms on the second floor of the apartment. "I strongly recommend that you go have a nap."

Yotsuba seemed to have a conflicted look cross her face, like she wanted to refuse, or like she wanted to claim she didn't need it. Then, silently, she nodded, and got up. She brushed some chip crumbs off her lap, and then trudged up the stairs. I couldn't quite see her from my position down on the couches, but I heard a door open, and then close. I leaned back on the couch, sighed, and rubbed my temples.

"You've got it rough, huh, Uesugi-kun?" Itsuki said sympathetically.

"It could be worse," I said, closing my eyes. A slight headache was beginning to develop behind my eyes.

"True. You could be having to deal with all five of us at once," Itsuki said. I opened one eye to see a hint of a smirk on her face.

"Now that sounds like a headache. I'll leave the rest of you to Second Place-san."

Itsuki nodded, and then a slightly worried look crossed her face. "I hope the session tomorrow goes better than the previous ones."

I shrugged. "He'll realize eventually that what he's doing isn't working, and will take action to rectify it. You don't reach number two overall by being an idiot. It's a matter of when, not if."

"I hope you're right," she said, the concerned tone not leaving her voice.

Itsuki and I sat there chatting and lightly studying for the next hour or so -- at some point, Nino came downstairs and started reading a magazine at the kitchen table. Eventually, I glanced up at the clock on their wall, and noted that it was time to resume. Given Yotsuba hadn't come back down, I could only assume that she had, in fact, fallen asleep -- as intended, of course.

When I mentioned this to Itsuki, an almost mischievous look crossed her face, which seemed distinctly out of place on her normally serious face.

"Well then, Uesugi-kun -- you should go and get her."

I frowned. "Me? Why? I don't even know which room is hers."

Itsuki waved her hand dismissively. "They're numerically ordered from the landing. You'll figure it out, Genius-kun."

"Numerically ordered...?"

I got up, and made my way over to the stairs. I ascended, and for the first time stepped foot on the second floor. Carefully, I made my way over to the second door from the end, and knocked on the door. There was no response, so I waited about thirty seconds, and then knocked again, louder.

No response. She's out like a light.

"Yotsuba?" I called, knocking even louder this time. "It's time to get up and keep going."

From the depths of the room, I heard a groan, and shifting inside. Then, about twenty seconds later, a very groggy looking Yotsuba opened the door. Her shirt was dishevelled and hanging low over one shoulder, and she'd apparently forgotten to take her bow off before sleeping, because it looked as messy as she did. For some reason, my vision was briefly drawn to her exposed collar-bone, but then my brain kicked in, and I looked back up at her face.

"Time to keep going."

"Oh, 'kay. Give me a sec, and I'll be back down."

Yotsuba retreated back through the door, and as she did so, I got a brief glance into the room behind her. One thing immediately struck me -- how clean it was. The whole place was in absolutely perfect order from what I could see, with not a single object out of place. There were also at least three plants in my field of view -- before the door swung shut, that is.

I want to go in there some day.

The thought surprised me, and I shook my head to clear it away.

You have no business in there.

The door swung back open a couple minutes later, and a significantly less dishevelled Yotsuba came out of the room.

"Ready to get back to work?"

Yotsuba yawned, covering her mouth. "Yeah, I guess. I really needed that nap. I should probably also have some water too, I'm pretty groggy."

"Does water help with grogginess?"

Yotsuba shrugged. "Dunno. It helps me, though."

The two of us walked back down the stairs together. For some reason, Itsuki had a smirk plastered all over her face. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she just looked away innocently.

What the hell is that about? Was that her idea of revenge for my comment earlier? Not much of a revenge.

We got back to studying, and I could already see the benefits of the unplanned break. After drinking some water and stretching a bit, Yotsuba was a lot sharper than she had been beforehand. We accelerated to a slightly faster pace than the one I had set out in the original schedule, a pace somet hing akin to the speed of the evening before. While we certainly wouldn't make up for all of the lost time, we c ould p ossibly at least make up for the hour-long break.

"Lunch time," Nino called an hour later . "Can someone go get Ichika and Miku? I'm gonna start cooking."

"I'll do it," Itsuki said, getting up from the couch. "I think that the less Uesugi-kun sees of Ichika's room, the better."

To my surprise, both Yotsuba and Nino blanched.

"Good point," Nino said. Yotsuba nodded in agreement.

Eh? What kind of hellscape does she have going on up there...?

As Itsuki walked up the stairs, Nino turned to me. "So, am I including you, or did you bring another bento?"

"I brought another bento."

Nino shrugged her shoulders , a slight scowl crossing her face . "Keep that up, and I'm going to start to think you don't like my cooking."

She turned away to get to making lunch, but I just sat there dumbfounded.

Wait, doesn't that mean she wants me to eat her food, and she doesn't resent cooking for me as well as her sisters? I'm so confused. This is the queen of mixed signals we're talking about though, so should I even be surprised about this?

My jaw must have dropped, because Yotsuba started sniggering. I turned sharply to look at her, and she grinned at me.

"Shi shi shi. That's a very interesting look on your face, Uesugi-san!"

I frowned. "I have no idea what look is on my face, I don't have eyes outside my body."

"Like this!"

Yotsuba furrowed her brow and stared off into the middle-distance. Her jaw dropped slightly open, and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"I definitely do not look like that."

"You do, you do! Tell him, Nino!"

"I'm busy cooking, leave me out of this please," Nino growled from the kitchen.

"Boo," Yotsuba said, pouting. "You seriously did look like that though, Uesugi-san."

"Let's get back to work," I said, shaking my head. "We have a lot of time to catch up on."

A few minutes later, both Miku and a very-sleepy looking Ichika came downstairs. Itsuki followed down after them -- and for some reason, her face was beet red. I raised an eyebrow at her inquisitively, but she just shook her head at me. The message was loud and clear:

You don't want to know .

As Miku and Ichika sat down at the kitchen table, Ichika yawned. Then, she put her head down on the table, and closed her eyes.

"Ichika, it's past noon! You need to get up!"

She opened her eyes again, and stared blear ily up at the disapproving Itsuki.

"You're so strict, Itsuki. Let me just sleep until lunch is ready..."

"I'm not letting you sleep at the kitchen table with Uesugi-kun here! You'll..."

She trailed off, and her face got red again, and then she leaned down to whisper in Ichika's ear. Ichika's eyes opened again, and she sat up straight, stretched, and then sighed.

"Alright, alright, fine, you're right. Wouldn't want to give him too much of an eyeful , now would we? "

I turned to Yotsuba, and frowned. "What the hell are they talking about?"

Yotsuba glanced left and right like she really didn't want to answer the question. "Uh... uh... Sorry Uesugi-san! I'm not gonna tell you!"

I blinked. Yotsuba's ears were bright red.

There's clearly some very important context here that I'm missing.

I stared Yotsuba down, waiting for her to crack under my gaze, but this time she stayed surprisingly resilient, though she refused to make eye-contact with me. I leaned across the table a bit closer to her, and she leaned back, her face getting a bit redder.

Fascinating.

"Lunch is ready."

"Tch."

She was saved by the Nino.

We both got up and moved over to the kitchen table. Itsuki sat down, and Nino brought over five plates with the girls' lunch -- and for the very first time, all six of us were eating a meal together.

It was, for lack of a better word, raucous.

The five of them were, throughout the meal, bantering and squabbling and arguing and laughing. It was practically too much for me to handle -- I almost felt like I was experiencing some kind of sensory overload. In the midst of all that, I gently opened my bento, and was relieved to see that it remained as I had made it: devoid of art from my sister.

Nino smirked at me from across the table as she saw me tenderly place the lid on the table.

"Safe this time?"

"Thankfully."

The rest of the afternoon was mostly uneventful. The steady pace we had been working at began to lag at around four o'clock, and eventually started resembling the morning session before Yotsuba had slept. I could see the exhaustion slowly creeping back into her face. Part of me felt bad for making her continue to study -- but if she wanted to stand a fighting chance of passing the midterms, she didn't have a choice.

By the time six o'clock rolled around, the fantastic spread was long gone, and getting Yotsuba to focus was like pulling teeth. I sighed, and shook my head.

"Alright, let's call it for the day there."

Yotsuba blearily looked up at me.

"Ok... sounds good."

"Yotsuba, no more studying for the day. Make sure you go to bed early so that you're rested for your session with Second Place-san tomorrow."

Yotsuba mutely nodded. I looked over at Itsuki, who was sitting on the couch reading a book. She had stopped studying after lunch, and seemed deeply engrossed in the novel.

"Itsuki, please let me know if she keeps studying after I leave."

The star-spangled girl looked up at me, and raised an eyebrow.

"You want me to rat my sister out to you?"

"Yes."

"You want me to become some kind of snitch?!"

"Yes."

She looked back down at her book. "Alright."

"Traitor," Yotsuba said weakly. Itsuki stuck her tongue out at her, a gesture which was so un-Itsuki like as to make me laugh. I packed up my bags, and after bidding goodbye to the girls, went home. I reached our apartment just in time to actually eat dinner with Raiha, who had made a delicious stir fry. Then, I spent the rest of the evening working on the second binder for Yotsuba. By around eleven o'clock, I was starting to get tired, and so I put the work away, and went to bed.

As I lay in my futon staring up at the dark ceiling, I could slowly feel my consciousness slip away, but it was a long time before I actually fell asleep -- a dull pain was throbbing in the palm of my hand the whole time.

The next day, I happened to run into the quintuplets as they were getting out of their car. Yotsuba seemed fully recovered -- she was at full strength and full energy, greeting me enthusiastically as she exited the vehicle. I glanced at Itsuki inquiringly as she got out, and she shook her head: Yotsuba had rested after all.

The school day was a bit of a blur, but the dull pain in my hand wasn't going away. I registered blandly that it was probably a consequence of the fact that I had been writing for almost sixteen hours straight the previous day -- a stretch even by my standards. Nevertheless, I simply continued writing my notes as normal.

A little bit of hand pain wasn't an impediment to studying.

Following the end of the day's classes, I found myself alone in the library as Yotsuba went for her mandated tutoring session. After having spent the last two days intensely studying with Yotsuba, there was something almost... disconcerting about being alone again. The silence in the library was broken only by the sound of my pencil scratching on paper, or the occasional flip of a page.

I hope the session goes well .

At one point, I paused to roll my shoulders and loosen the tension in my shoulder blades, and then I leaned forward to inspect the binder in front of me. Compared to a few days before, it was significantly more full. The Yotsuba-bound binder had been designed to hold approximately the same amount of content as the previous one. I intended for it to cover all of the material up until the beginning of our second year, back in April. Of course, the handwriting in some of the later bits was somewhat shoddy due to my hand aching -- but it was certainly legible.

"What else do we need?" I mused out loud. "The current pace isn't enough. We'll need to push harder on the off days..."

The ticking of a clock somewhere in the room permeated the atmosphere, and as I put my pencil down, it became the only sound. As I stopped writing, I became aware of other small sounds. My own breath. The sound of footsteps in the hallway. The creak of the table as I leaned on it. The faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights above me. It suddenly felt like an overwhelming tide.

Maybe I'm the one not getting enough sleep.

I shook my head. I picked up my pencil. I got back to writing. After all, I needed to finish the binder. I needed to keep on schedule. I needed to work as hard as I could. I needed to support her, to not abandon her.

I was needed, at least in one small way.

So, I needed to work.

I continued writing for an indeterminate amount of time. Before I knew it, my phone buzzed, and Raiha was telling me to come home. I stared down at the papers in front of me, and then checked the time on my phone in surprise. Indeed, it was time for dinner. I had gotten a large amount done -- but I remembered almost none of it. It was like the last two hours hadn't even existed.

Moderately disconcerted at my own capacity for operating on autopilot, I packed up my bags, and I left the library. I briefly stopped to change my footwear, and then I went home.

That evening, I finally finished the second binder. It was rough, but I was happy with it. With the material for Yotsuba done, I pulled out my own study material, and got to reading. Time seemed to blur by on its own again, and before I knew it, Raiha was pulling on the collar of my shirt and insisting I take my bath and go to bed.

It was past midnight already. Sleep did not come easily.

Far too early the next morning, I woke up to light streaming through the window, Raiha making breakfast, and my dad reading a newspaper. I felt sluggish, as though I hadn't gotten enough sleep -- which I hadn't. Regardless of my fatigue , I got up and helped my dad put the futons away, and brought out the table. After a quick breakfast, my dad took Raiha to school, and I left on my own.

The journey there wasn't particularly long, and yet I felt myself zoning out the entire time . Before I knew it, I had arrived, and was standing in front of my footlocker changing my footwear. I looked around to see if there was any sign of the quintuplets, but they seemed to not yet have arrived. Closing my locker, I re - adjusted my bag on my shoulder, and trekked to the classroom.

When I entered the room, there were a surprising number of people already present -- but Itsuki wasn't one of them, as expected. I'd wanted to ask her about the tutoring session, but it would have to wait.

I also probably shouldn't keep pestering her about it. It could give the wrong impression, after all. I can just ask Yotsuba after school today.

I went and sat at my desk, and checked my schedule for the day. I began getting my relevant notebooks prepared, and had just finished when Itsuki entered the room. She was followed shortly thereafter by the teacher. There was no opportunity to talk with her, as he almost immediately launched into our first lecture of the day. Before that, however, he began by admonishing us to study for midterms, as they were just over a week away -- a deadline of which I was already painfully aware.

The rest of the morning was the same sort of blurry haze. Lunch eventually arrived, and I made my way to the cafeteria. On the way, however, I pulled up short next to a vending machine, and made a snap decision. The situation was bad enough -- I was going to commit a cardinal sin.

What was it I called it? The penultimate sin? My, I've gotten rather sinful, haven't I?

Chuckling to myself, I pulled out some coins, and spent money on something other than lunch -- specifically, a milk coffee. As I walked away from the vending machine, I pulled the tab, and took a long swig. I didn't normally like the taste of coffee -- but desperate times called for desperate measures. It... wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I finished the thing as I entered the cafeteria, and put the empty can in a bin before going to get my food. As I waited, I could feel the coffee hitting my bloodstream -- my senses seemed to all perk up, and the sluggishness that had been plaguing me since I woke up temporarily retreated.

Wow, coffee is magical. No wonder people call it brain juice! Actually, wow, that's... a really lame name for it, now that I think about it.

I received my food from the cafeteria worker, and made my way over to my usual table, which was thankfully unoccupied this time. After setting my tray down, I took my seat, and pulled out my flashcards, as usual. I started flipping through them, and was pleasantly surprised to find that my recall rate was about par for the course -- it hadn't particularly suffered from my poor sleep the night before.

As I finished my last flashcard of the set, I detected some movement in my peripheral vision, and I looked up. I had half-expected it to be Yotsuba, but standing in front of me instead was a blond boy wearing the school uniform -- but instead of the usual blazer, he had a waistcoat and tie over top of the uniform shirt. My first impression of him was that of some sort of ritzy aristocrat.

The second impression was that I didn't like him.

"Uesugi Fuutarou," the boy stated. It wasn't a question.

"That is I," I responded, keeping my face entirely neutral. "Can I help you with something?"

The boy sat down across from me without asking, and he placed his hands firmly down on the table, almost as though stabilizing himself. His green eyes made piercing contact with mine, like he was trying to stare me down.

"You and I," he said, "need to have ourselves a little chat."

Chapter 16: The Midst of the Storm

Notes:

This chapter took a bit to write, as I kept re-working the various parts of it to make sure they worked how I wanted them to. The next chapter is going to probably take around the same amount of time as this one, as I'm going to be travelling for the next two months -- I'll write when I can, but we'll see how much spare time I have.

Also, this chapter earns the fic's T rating. So... just a heads up for that.

Chapter 16:

The Midst of the Storm

You and I need to have ourselves a little chat.

The blond boy sitting across the table from me seemed strung tight, like a spring compressed too far, and all of its energy converted to potential -- a tiger waiting to leap forth at me. His hands were firmly pressed into the table as though stabilizing himself, and his eyes blazed with a quiet rage that I didn't quite understand. His jaw was firmly set, the corners of his mouth set downwards into a stiff frown, and I could practically taste the hostility radiating off of him. I eyed the ticking time bomb before me, and then elected to vocalize the main thought that was crossing through my mind in that moment.

"Sorry, who are you?"

The boy seemed stunned by that response, as if he hadn't expected it. He lifted his hands off the table and crossed them over his chest as though protecting himself from some kind of assault -- an inherently defensive posture. Closed off, he leaned back in the chair, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You seriously have no clue who I am?"

"Nope. Enlighten me," I said, dismissively looking back down at my flash cards.

He sniffed disdainfully.

"I see, so even the great Uesugi Fuutarou has things he doesn't know."

I looked back up at him, my face completely blank. It was painfully obvious that the boy was (clumsily) trying to rile me up.

But... why?

"Never seen you before in my life. Am I supposed to know who you are?"

The boy quivered, the spring he resembled seeming to tighten even further. Then, he gritted his teeth, and almost hissed as he spoke.

"My name is Takeda Yuusuke. I'm the man who stands in second place in our year, and the one who will surpass you, my rival. I will show the world that I won't be a perpetual footnote to some commoner."

I looked at him blankly.

Commoner...?

Then, the tone and the words seemed to click into place in my head, and the penny dropped.

"Oh! You're Second Place-san."

I thought I saw a vein twitch in his face. It was an interesting effect, and I idly noted that I didn't think I'd ever seen that happen in a real person before.

"Excuse me...? What did you just call me?!"

I looked back down at my flashcards. "You know, the Kazoku was abolished in 1947. Japan doesn't have an aristocracy anymore. So you're just as much of a commoner as I am."

Then I looked back up at him.

"So, you know... unless you're over seventy years old, we have the exact same commoner status. With that in mind, that's a bit of an odd thing to call someone."

I paused, and then added,

"If you are over seventy years old, then first of all let me register my astonishment... and compliment you on how well you've aged."

"What? That's obviously not what I meant," scowled the blond boy. "I meant--"

"Oh, were you referring to the way some rich people are referred to as 'elites', or as the 'new aristocracy'? That's quite the silly basis to refer to someone else as a commoner. After all, those titles are just metaphors. They aren't meant to be taken literally."

"Listen here, you--"

I squinted at him.

"Yes?"

"You're not one of the elites who will rule this country. You're just some nobody with no money and no connections. That makes you a commoner."

I raised an eyebrow. "I see, so you do take the metaphor literally. That's a bit disappointing."

I saw the vein twitch on Second Place-san's head again, and he ground his teeth in anger. I wasn't quite sure why he was so furious.

I don't remember doing anything to him...

The boy across from me had an ugly look on his face. He leaned forward, and brought his face closer to mine, as though trying to intimidate me. It didn't work -- the effect was all too lacklustre, as though the boy was making some pale imitation of what he thought an intimidating affect ought to be.

"Listen here, Uesugi Fuutarou. You may have taken the top spot for now, but you're just keeping it warm for me. I don't know what manner of trickery you're using to keep that first place spot out of my rightful hands, but I won't allow a peasant like you to remain in your unearned position."

I raised an eyebrow, and said nothing. Second Place-san leaned back in his seat, gritting his teeth.

"Mark my words, on the next exam I will relegate you back to the nameless masses."

Around us, I could hear some whispering -- the other students were beginning to notice that there was a dispute going on.

"Sure, sure," I said, taking a sip of my miso soup. "I welcome the attempt. Those are certainly big words, though, from someone who hasn't yet beaten me once."

The boy shrugged, a dismissive grin on his face. It didn't suit him. "Hardly. I've been merely preoccupied with my other myriad extracurricular activities that are... expected of a man of my status. Perhaps a plebeian such as yourself doesn't know this, but there is more to being an elite than simply good grades."

Then he made a fist. "However, I have suffered this humiliation long enough. I will take back what is mine. I will reclaim the glory that I had lost, tarnishing my family name, through failing to capture first place for this long. Victory will be mine! A nobody like you can't stand in the way of my radiant destiny!"

I rolled my eyes. This fool is starting to annoy me.

"What are you, some kind of chuunibyou? This is the sort of monologue worthy of a middle school drama club."

"Excuse me?!"

I put down my flashcards, and gazed at the boy across from me. He was truly exactly as Itsuki and Yotsuba had described him: pompous, arrogant, and prone to cringe-worthy monologues. To my own surprise, my irritation with him was rising -- I wanted him to leave. I leaned forward until my face was only a few centimetres in front of his.

"Cut the shit," I hissed coldly from my new-found position. "Tell me what you actually came here for."

The boy recoiled from my sudden proximity, but then gathered himself and leaned forward again, not breaking eye contact once he re-established it. I could hear some whispers around us from the other students, but I ignored it, my eyes focused entirely on the cretin in front of me.

"Alright, I'll tell you what I want."

He took a deep breath as though steeling himself.

"I want you to stop tutoring Nakano Yotsuba."

"No," I said immediately. "Also, go to hell."

Then I paused a moment, processing what he'd actually said.

"Also, I'm not tutoring her."

The boy's look of fury was momentarily replaced by a look of pure bafflement.

"You're... not tutoring her?"

"No."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "She seemed pretty insistent that you were teaching her the content for the midterm. At great lengths, I might add."

"I am doing that."

"But you're not tutoring her."

"Correct."

The boy frowned. "Are you attempting to bamboozle me?"

"I am not."

"Well, I want you to stop your... whatever it is you're doing with her," he said, waving his hand dismissively.

"No. Go to hell."

"You know," he said drily, "I was under the impression you were intelligent, for all your flaws. It would seem I was mistaken. You don't know such a basic verb as 'to tutor'?"

I shook my head. "That's not what I meant. Regardless, I'm not going to stop teaching Yotsuba. You can give up on that demand as of right now -- feel free to go back to... whatever it is you do with them twice a week."

I pulled back to sit normally in my chair, and picked my flashcards back up from where I'd put them down. I began flipping through them, ignoring the still half-standing boy in front of me. Then, suddenly, a thought occurred to me, and I lowered the cards again.

"Hang on, why do you even care if I'm teaching Yotsuba? Much to my chagrin, she's continued to go to your bi-weekly tutoring session. How does it affect you at all?"

"Thanks to your... teaching, shall we call it," the boy sneered, "the girl feels a constant need to needle and prod and ask unnecessary questions. It's quite clearly an active piece of insubordination to distract and derail the sessions."

Wait, what? That makes no sense.

"That reminds me of my other complaint -- your influence is additionally making the others harder to educate as well. Nakano Itsuki has been more and more difficult to work with as the weeks go by, and don't even get me started on the other three ne'er-do-wells. I know that Nakano Nino's outburst was caused by you. I don't know what your goal is in making my life harder, but I would kindly ask you to cease and desist."

There was a moment of silence. I eyed the boy up and down in disbelief as he glared daggers at me.

He's delusional.

"Alternatively," I said, taking a sip of water, my annoyance replaced by a sudden wry sense of amusement, "my influence is minimal, and those girls are simply exercising their own free agency."

"Nonsense," the blond tutor said. "I can see your grimy fingerprints all over them."

Grimy...?

"Interesting theory," I said, shaking my head and calmly returning to my flash cards, a trace of a smile on my face. "So then, you think Nino got so angry at you because I told her to be angry? Do you think Itsuki is getting frustrated with you because of my influence? Do you also think the other two are avoiding your sessions because of me?"

"Yes! Obviously yes! I know you spoke to Nakano Nino before her outburst, she said as much! I've heard her bemoan how their tutor isn't the almighty first-place student! I'm not an idiot, Uesugi Fuutarou -- I have eyes and ears. I see your handiwork in all of this!"

I raised an eyebrow, flipping to the next flashcard. "Interesting, very interesting. In that same vein, you think I've been convincing Yotsuba to waste her own precious time before the midterms prodding you with, in your eyes, useless and insubordinate questions?"

"Yes, absolutely! I've seen her test scores -- there's no way a moron like her could come up with those sort of questions on her own, they're clearly plante--"

I quickly stood up, reached across the table, and seized the self-styled aristocrat by the front of his perfectly-maintained school uniform with both hands, the material creasing in my clenched fists. As I dropped them, my flashcards skittered across the table, the loop bouncing on the laminate surface and ringing loudly out as it did so. Pulling his vest with all my might, I yanked him forward until we were eye to eye. The look of sudden surprise and terror on his face elicited no new emotion in me at all -- because whatever feeling it may have evoked was so overwhelmingly dwarfed by the sudden anger that was already present as to be rendered irrelevant and undetectable.

"Don't call her a moron."

I pushed him roughly back into his chair, his tie ruffled and his vest suddenly off-kilter. The chair rattled against the floor as he heavily landed back in his seat, and the boy looked at me with widened eyes, and I looked back at him, bile rising in my throat. A small crowd had begun to form, and I could hear the murmurs around us rising, worried tones permeating the lot. I thought I heard a familiar voice among them. I didn't care.

"Here's a counterpoint to your genius theory, asshole." I hissed. "Perhaps I had a hand in all of this -- maybe I'm orchestrating some grand scheme to undercut you and ruin your employment in the Nakano household. Maybe I'm some villain whose goal is to keep you down in the dirt in all things while I take the glory for myself."

The blond boy was wordlessly staring at me, wide-eyed.

"Or perhaps -- just perhaps! -- there's another explanation. Another model that fits the data!" I said, venom dripping in my voice. "Perhaps your pedagogy is just absolute dog-shit! Perhaps Miku and Ichika don't join your sessions because you've made no effort to actually relate to them, and they don't trust you to teach them. Perhaps your failings are caused by you, and not by other people. Who knows? Obviously not me, I'm just a goddamn commoner. That was it, wasn't it? One of the huddling masses, unworthy of being in your exalted presence."

Silence.

Excellent. Shut the hell up and listen.

"Perhaps," I continued, "Nino refuses to join your lessons because you belittled her, mocked her for her failures in front of her sisters, and then started harassing her at school as well -- all to the point where she was forced into hiding in a classroom just to get away from you. Perhaps you made her feel small, and inferior, and like her worth as a person was contained in its entirety in a number on a page, a number which you wrote down. Nothing could be further from the truth -- I guarantee you, she possesses skills far outside the ones you were testing her for, skills which would render you speechless. Perhaps, if you ever stop treating her like garbage, she'll show you her talent."

I was silent for a moment, and then I smirked.

"At this point, though, probably not."

I sat back down, and leaned on the table with both arms, supporting my chin as I stared at the so-called tutor in front of me.

"As for Itsuki, this is just a thought -- but perhaps her impatience with you stems from your own inefficacy as a tutor. Perhaps it originates from your weavings and meanderings into the realms of irrelevancy and tangent, from you subjecting her relentlessly to the stream of consciousness that reportedly completely takes the place of real lesson-structures in your sessions. The monologues, the self-satisfaction, the arrogance, the condescension: those would without doubt cause her to be angry and frustrated -- ah, but what do I know? I've certainly never pissed off Nakano Itsuki."

I paused.

"Ah, that was a joke, by the way -- but I'm sure you've pissed her off far more than I ever have. You know, by being an arrogant prick."

Silence.

"Of course," I said, gesturing sardonically, "there's a very, very easy way for you to get Itsuki back on your side. Know what it is?"

The boy looked at me, stone-faced.

"What, the great Second Place-san doesn't know the trick? That's too bad. I'll tell you."

I leaned forward, not giving my interlocutor a chance to respond.

"Just stop sucking at your job," I whispered.

Then I leaned back, and spoke at a normal volume again. "Just be better! Wow, how simple. If I thought of it, I'm sure the genius Tutor-san could have thought of it himself. Alas, it appears that an over-inflated ego and a completely baseless sense of pride prevented him from realizing the obvious fact in front of him -- that he's just failing at his job, and he's grasping at straws, looking desperately for someone, anyone else to condemn for his own failures."

I paused.

"As for Yotsuba..."

I gripped the sides of the table, and I noticed for the first time that my hands were shaking. Distantly, in an almost detached manner, I noted that it was a bit peculiar that my body was reacting in that way. I straightened up, my hands still gripping the sides of the table tightly, my knuckles white.

"Get her name out of your goddamn mouth."

The whispers around us were fever-pitched, but it almost seemed like white noise, static on a receiver in the background that served only to obfuscate from the target of my entire focus -- the boy shrinking in the seat across from me.

"Yotsuba has poured her heart and soul into studying. She's toiled, laboured, sweat, and literally bled to prepare for this midterm. She's been putting in hours upon hours upon hours of work, studying and reviewing and preparing and testing -- and you dare belittle that? You dare deride the effort she's been putting in to reach this level, a level where she can ask those sorts of questions, as inconsequential, and just dismiss them out of hand as planted questions? That she isn't smart enough to come up with them herself? That she's so far below you that her being inquisitive, and curious, and persistent is inconceivable?"

I shook my head in disgust. "You don't deserve to teach someone like her. You don't deserve to call yourself her tutor. I can't believe this. I seriously can't believe this. I knew that you were self-centred, but I had no clue that her tutor was such a goddamn incurious, unimaginative swine. Her progress is beyond your conception of her, so therefore it must just secretly be me sabotaging you? It's impossible that she has a life outside of your one-sided perception of our supposed rivalry?"

My head was starting to hurt. I suddenly just wanted to be anywhere except here. The rage had slowly evaporated, and all that was left was a sense of revulsion.

"You're pathetic, Second Place-san. Frankly, with the level of intellectual inadequacy you've shown here, you're damn lucky to even be in second place. I think this conversation is over."

I picked up my tray of half-eaten food, and began to stand up.

"Wait."

I looked down at the boy, who still had a bit of a shell-shocked look on his face.

"If I beat you on the midterms..."

Please tell me he's not about to say what I think he's about to say.

I was suddenly distinctly aware of the small crowd that had gathered around us. There was nothing like a fight to grab the attention of bored high-schoolers, even if it had been (mostly) verbal. I glanced around at them, not really seeing them at all.

Philistines.

"If I beat you on the midterms, you have to stop tutoring her."

He said it.

I turned back to look at him, a look of pure disdain on my face.

"Let me get this straight."

He stared up at me, a strangely defiant look in his eyes.

"You want me to agree that if you beat me on the midterms..."

Nod.

"...something you have repeatedly failed to do over the course of four terms so far..."

Nod.

"...I'll leave Yotsuba entirely to you, and stop teaching her."

"Yes."

I put my tray down and put my head in my hands. My headache was getting stronger.

"Are you an idiot?"

For some reason, the boy seemed to have not expected that response.

"First of all, there's the practical matter that you're, at least in principle, tutoring five people in addition to studying for the midterm yourself, while I'm preparing study material for only one person besides myself. That alone gives you a massive handicap."

Silence.

"Besides that, however, you've never managed to beat me once. I've not slowed down the amount of studying I've been doing, because I study with Yotsuba. I'm not just answering questions the whole time, I'm doing my own studying too. So I don't even really have any kind of handicap."

Silence.

"However, there's one more, frankly far more important matter."

I leaned down until I was right in front of the so-called tutor.

"I'm not staking the education of a person I care about on a stupid bet with a piece of shit like you."

I picked up my food, grabbed my flashcards off the table where they were still laying, and pushed my way through the small crowd around us. The students parted in front of me. I looked around for somewhere else to eat, but no luck -- there were, unfortunately, no other tables available in the cafeteria. I glanced over at the table occupied by the quintuplets, and was somewhat relieved to see that they appeared to have not noticed the confrontation. There were only four of them there, however. Yotsuba was missing.

I could still hear voices behind me, and I thought I heard my name being said, but I just assumed it was the usual mocking that my schoolmates put me through, and so I simply ignored it.

Putting the girls out of my mind, I took my food out of the cafeteria, and made my way to the roof.

Or at least, I tried. But the door was locked.

Disappointed, I leaned my back against the wall of the narrow landing that led outside, and slowly slid down to the floor, my half-eaten lunch on a tray next to me. I leaned my head back until it gently impacted the cool surface behind me, and stared at the far side of the landing. It was a completely uninteresting beige colour.

Now that I wasn't yelling, I was cognizant of a loud pounding sound in my ears. It took me a moment of puzzlement before I could work out what it was.

Ah, I see. It's my heartbeat.

I quickly took my pulse, and wasn't remotely surprised to find that it was elevated. The pounding in my chest coupled with the throbbing in my temples and my shallow quick breaths, were all signs of a fight or flight reflex. Or, as it had been in my case, fight and then flight. I closed my eyes, and tried to breathe deeply, encouraging my heart rate to subside.

Eventually, it receded to a level only slightly above normal, and I allowed myself to open my eyes again and start eating the rest of my food. As I ate, the adrenaline left my system, and I felt suddenly exhausted. I briefly considered my options -- but there weren't any that would allow me to rest for any prolonged period of time, short of doing the unconscionable and skipping class.

At times like this, I really wish that was something I could allow myself to do. I'm exhausted.

I was about halfway done eating the remainder of my lunch when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I pulled out my phone to see that I had received three messages from Yotsuba. To my slight surprise, I realized that two of them had been sent about fifteen and ten minutes prior respectively. I must have missed the buzzing during my argument with Second Place-san, and my search for a refuge to eat.

<Uesugi-saaaaaaaan, let's have lunch!>

Ah. Whoops.

<Uesugi-san, I lost track of you when you left the table. Where did you go? Are you alright?>

...Wait, what?

I furrowed my brow. I wasn't sure I understood what she meant by losing track of me.

Does that mean she was in the cafeteria during the fight...? Did she hear what I said?

The last email was from mere moments ago.

<Uesugi-san, please respond... I'm worried...>

I felt a slight pang of guilt in my chest, and I quickly typed a respond.

<Sorry, I didn't feel my phone buzz for the first two messages. I'm in the stairwell up to the roof.>

I put my phone down, but it immediately buzzed.

<Coming.>

I stared down at the message, and for some reason, my chest felt like it was tightening a little bit. I checked my heart rate again, and sure enough it had spiked once more. The sensation was almost like I was feeling anxiety -- but that didn't make any sense. There was no particular reason to feel anxious about seeing Yotsuba.

"You're an idiot, Fuutarou," I mumbled to myself, putting a spoonful of soup in my mouth.

I was almost done my food when I heard footsteps crashing up the stairs, and suddenly Yotsuba was panting on the other side of the landing.

"Uesugi-san! I finally found you!"

I sighed. "I e-mailed you where I was. It's not like one of those scenes in media where someone is hiding in a corner next to a vending machine and their friends find them after searching the whole school for hours."

"Au contraire, Uesugi-san! I did search all over the school -- until I got your message, that is! I ran all over the place. Though, as it happens, I was about to search here next -- how convenient!"

The pang of guilt stabbed in my chest again.

"...Oh. Sorry..."

I took her in, and noticed that she was surprisingly drenched in sweat -- she must have seriously run all over the school looking for me. She was also panting, which added more evidence as to her physical exertion -- I knew her level of fitness wasn't something to take lightly. That she was in this state... the feeling of guilt in my chest was more than a stab this time.

Yotsuba walked over, and slid down on the wall next to me.

"It's fine! There are more important things than running. Jeez, I'm tired though."

She fanned herself dramatically, and her face was pink from exertion. Then she looked over at me, and for the first time I noticed the look in her eyes. It was an unusual mixture -- concern and worry, and also a little bit of fear, though I didn't think it was of me, per se. Maybe fear wasn't the right word. She seemed almost... apprehensive.

"Uesugi-san... are you alright?"

I looked up at the ceiling, avoiding her gaze. "It depends what you mean by 'alright'. Am I physically alright? I'm fine, although I'm suffering from a bit of adrenaline withdrawal, so I'm tired, and my head hurts. I could probably do with a nap. Am I emotionally alright? Well, that's a bit more complicated. On the whole, I'd say probably yes. Angry, mostly."

There was a moment of silence. I sighed, and put my food down.

"I don't like it," I said quietly. "Being angry, that is. I prefer to be in more control of my emotions."

Yotsuba nodded silently, and I stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm a bit embarrassed to be honest. Losing my temper like that in public is a bit much, even for me. I don't know why he was trying to provoke me, but I guess it ended up working after all. I just completely lost it."

"It's ok, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said quietly. "Everyone gets angry sometimes. The important thing isn't to never get angry, it's to not hurt other people with your anger when it does happen."

"I suppose you're right," I sighed. "Though Second Place-san is, for all his flaws, a person. One who was probably hurt by my anger -- despite thoroughly deserving it."

"Mhmm."

"Maybe I should apologize to him."

Yotsuba didn't say anything.

"But I won't," I said, a wry smile on my face.

We both chuckled, and then sat there in companionable silence for a moment. I looked over at her, and mulled over my thoughts for a moment before speaking.

"...So."

"Hmm?"

"I have a question for you," I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Y-Yes?" she said, suddenly sounding nervous.

"Tell me up front -- how much did you hear?"

"Uh... Uh... No...thing?" she said, breaking out into a nervous sweat and hurriedly glancing from side to side.

I just raised an eyebrow.

"W-What are you doing that for, Uesugi-san?" she stammered nervously.

"Yotsuba, you're probably the single worst liar I've ever met in my life."

She hung her head. "Yeah, I know..."

"So? How much?"

"Um," she said, staring ahead, "I think I got there sometime around when you told him to cut the shit and tell you why he was there?"

I blanched. "Oh my god, you were there for practically the whole thing."

"I... guess that's true."

"Why didn't you say anything? I didn't even notice you were there."

"Well, at first I just felt bad interrupting your conversation, before it turned into... you know, that. Then, when it started getting a bit heated, there was a crowd forming and I was kind of being pushed to the back, but once he started yelling all that stuff at you, I wanted to say something -- but then you were both talking so quickly that I didn't feel like there was anywhere I could jump in! Then things just escalated, and you grabbed him, and I... I just couldn't move. I tried calling your name a couple times, but I don't think you heard me."

Yotsuba hung her head. "I'm sorry, Uesugi-san. I should have stepped in before it got to that point. Maybe I could have stopped it getting so heated."

I looked over at her with mild surprise. "You don't need to apologize, Yotsuba. You didn't do anything wrong. That jerk was picking a fight with me, not you. While I appreciate the sentiment, I don't need you to wage my wars for me. I'm perfectly capable of holding my own."

The ribboned girl half-heartedly laughed. "That's definitely true. I don't think I've ever seen you that angry."

I rubbed my forearm awkwardly. "I don't think I've been that angry in a long time. That was a lot worse than when I got pissed off at Itsuki a while ago. I just... he pressed a lot of the wrong buttons."

"I could see that. You really went off on him."

There was a moment of silence, and then suddenly Yotsuba snickered, a hand moving up in front of her mouth.

"I've gotta say though, 'waging your wars' is right! Man, you had some good lines, Uesugi-san!"

"Oh no. I don't like where this is going."

"Shi shi shi, 'get her name out of your goddamn mouth!', was it? Hehe, very gallant!"

I pulled my knees up to my chest and lowered my head to them.

"Ugh."

"'You don't deserve to call yourself her tutor.' Very well said, Uesugi-san!"

"Stooop."

Yotsuba's grin got even wider. "Ooh, what was the last one? 'I'm not staking the education of a person I care about on a stupid bet with a piece of shit like you,' right?"

I buried my face a bit deeper in my knees. "This is embarrassing."

Yotsuba's laughter echoed around the landing, and while my ears were burning red, inside of me the tight feeling in my chest seemed to relax. There was something reassuring about her gentle ribbing. I lifted my head, and shook it to clear the cobwebs.

"I just can't believe your tutor is such a jerk," I said. "I can't imagine what consecutive uninterrupted hours with him are like."

"Yeah... it's not great." Yotsuba said, and we both fell into silence for a moment.

Then, she lowered her shoulder, and gently bumped it into mine. Something about the gesture, and the soft contact, felt strangely intimate.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"...Thanks. For standing up for me, I mean. Especially when you didn't know I was there. It meant a lot to me."

I smiled. "Of course."

We made and held eye contact, and there was a strange feeling in my chest again... but it was different than the constriction that I had felt earlier. Her eyes were a beautiful blue colour, and I felt as though I were being lost in them. The feeling in my chest -- it was almost like an impulse, or an intrusive thought, like there was something in me that was urging me to--

Ding dong. Ding dong.

The bell interrupted my thoughts, and whatever impulse had come over me was swiftly vanquished, forced back into the iron cage in which I was usually able to keep my non-academic desires contained with a will of steel. It rattled the bars and demanded egress, but I prodded it away with a large stick.

In light of the sudden escape, for good measure, I mentally added another padlock.

What the hell was that?

"Ah, shoot, it's already time to head back to class," Yotsuba said, and got back up from the floor. She seemed unaffected.

"I need to go return the tray and the dishware," I said, joining her in being vertical. "I guess I'll see you after school at your place?"

"Yep, sounds good," Yotsuba said, trotting down the stairs. "See you tonight, Uesugi-san!"

Then, she was gone, and I was alone again in the landing at the top of the stairs. As I stood at the top of the step, waiting to put my foot down, there was a sudden moment of trepidation. Some small part of me, some weak part, wanted to stay. To not go back down into the world. To stay in this quiet sanctuary, where I hadn't just certainly made an enemy of my friends' tutor, and where I could just be alone with my thoughts.

Unfortunately, that wasn't something I could allow myself to do.

I took a step, and returned to the school below.

Chapter 17: The Eye of the Storm

Notes:

A couple of notes: first of all, I've gone back and re-worked Chapter 4. It's the only chapter of the fic I've really been unhappy with, and I finally decided to go and fix it. I've expanded the context of Fuutarou's breakdown, making the reasoning more apparent. I did not change any core plot elements though -- nothing that comes after the chapter is affected or changed. I think it's much improved - hopefully you do too!

Anyways, this chapter is mostly fluff, so enjoy!

Chapter 17

The Eye of the Storm

When I returned to my classroom, the whole room went dead silent as I entered. All of the various cliques were staring at me from the various parts of the room, each with their own varying intents. It felt vaguely like how I imagined a zoo animal must feel. I raised an eyebrow at them, attempting to give my best impression of an extremely unimpressed teacher, and after a few moments the quintessential hubbub of a classroom prior to class resumed in full force. I could definitely hear my name frequently muttered as I made my way to my desk, a fact which irritated me to no small degree.

As I sat down in my chair, I happened to catch out of the corner of my eye that Itsuki was staring at me. I turned to look at her, and she mouthed, 'explain?' to me. I mouthed back 'later', and she pouted in return. Our silent conversation was interrupted by the entrance of the teacher, and the resumption of lessons.

In the second half of the day, we had physical education, and so we all went to get changed. On the way to the gymnasium, however, Itsuki caught hold of me (metaphorically), and a walking interrogation began.

"So," she said, trotting beside me to keep up with my quick pace. "What happened?"

"I simply got into a bit of a verbal spat with an ill-mannered whelp," I said, attempting to suppress the memory. Now that I had calmed down, I was a little embarrassed by it, though I still stood by everything I had said.

"Uesugi-kun, what the heck does that even mean?"

I sighed, pulling up short. Itsuki kept walking for a moment, and then cut back to stand next to me. "Your tutor is not a very nice person."

"I know that already. I meant the details as to what you were arguing about."

"...Oh. So you already knew that I was arguing with Second Place-san."

"Uesugi-kun, at this point, probably fifty percent of the school is aware of it," Itsuki said. "By tomorrow, it will certainly be ninety percent. The thing that is unclear to me is the details, and also why."

"I... see."

"What happened?"

"Well," I began, "I was just having lunch on my own, minding my own business and studying, when your tutor decided to come sit at my table. He then proceeded to be somewhat of an ass, and very obviously try to pick a fight. I wasn't having any of it, but eventually he succeeded in his goal of pissing me off... and things escalated from there."

I resumed walking, and a moment later Itsuki accelerated to keep at my side.

She sighed. "I don't know what he was thinking."

"Bold of you," I said, a slight smirk on my face, "to assume that he was doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Thinking."

Itsuki laughed. Then, as we approached the changing rooms, she slowed down, presumably to diverge from my path and go to the girls' locker room.

"By the way, Uesugi-kun," she said as she began to depart, "You should probably be aware -- you know how our classmates have this dumb idea that we are going out?"

"Indeed -- unfortunately I've been frequently acquainted with their stupidity, much to my chagrin."

"Anyways," Itsuki said, "they have decided amongst themselves that the reason for your fight was a quarrel between love rivals, and that you were fighting over me. I thought you ought to be aware in case some of them ask asinine questions."

"Don't worry, all of their questions are asinine. I'm used to it," I said.

"Good."

"Also, have no fear -- we weren't fighting over you," I said.

"I know that , but--"

"We were fighting over Yotsuba ," I said.

Itsuki stopped dead in her tracks. She looked thunderstruck.

"Wait... what?!"

"Indeed, 'twas a rivals' quarrel."

"Since when were you and -- What?!"

I looked her dead in the eye, and I managed to hold a deadpan look for about a five seconds, and then I started sniggering. Itsuki's look of pure bewilderment lasted for about two seconds longer: then it turned to annoyance as she realized I was messing with her, and she shook her head.

"You're an ass, Uesugi-kun."

" Ah, well," I said , shrugging . " I am what I am."

Then, as I walked into the changing room, I said over my shoulder, "You did come up though. Just not in that context."

"Don't just drop that as you leave!" Itsuki yelled after me as I closed the door, and I chuckled to myself.

It's the small things in life.

I changed clothes as quickly as I could, so as not to give my classmates a chance to pose any of the aforementioned asinine questions. After I had put on my gym uniform, I made my way into the gymnasium to find a small scattering of go-getters already present. One of them was Itsuki, who had an extremely grumpy look on her face; I decided to take pity on her, and atone for my sins by going over and actually explaining what had happened.

"That idiot!" she exclaimed after I finished describing the fight, perhaps louder than she had intended. "I don't know what he was thinking! I can't believe he thought the fact we were getting annoyed with him was some conspiracy on your part -- he's just a terrible tutor!"

"Indeed."

"Also, thank you for defending all of us. I really appreciate it, and I'm sure the others will too when they find out about it."

"Yotsuba already knows," I said, shrugging. "Apparently she was eavesdropping on the fight."

"Really? That doesn't seem very Yotsuba-like..."

"She panicked."

"Ah. Nevermind. That does sound like her."

"Right?"

Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by the loud blast of a whistle.

"Alright kids," the substitute physical education teacher yelled, whistle somehow staying between his teeth as he spoke. "Today, we're gonna make you run!"

There were collective groans.

"How far are we gonna have to run?" one kid asked, raising his hand.

"Until I say stop."

"When will you stay stop?"

"When yer spittin' up puke, blood, and yer guts. Any other questions? No? Alright, get to it, kiddos!"

I looked at Itsuki. She looked back at me. We both grimaced, and then rose to our feet.

Non-athletic people, unite! You have nothing to lose but your electrolytes.

The next hour was hell. By the end, both Itsuki and I were on the verge of collapse, though Itsuki was slightly the better for wear than I was. In that moment, I vowed that I would improve my cardiovascular health so as to avoid a similar suffering the next time our teacher took a turn for the sadistic.

Of course, I knew I was lying.

Obviously.

There were a few students who genuinely seemed on the verge of vomiting when we returned to the change room, and so I gave them a wide berth. I returned to my school uniform rather quickly, and made my way back to the classroom.

Idiots avoided. Success.

The remainder of the day passed quite quickly, and before I knew it, I was sitting on the couch in the Nakano apartment surrounded by various dips and chips, and studying with Yotsuba.

Or rather, I was trying to study with Yotsuba.

"Hey, Fuutarou-kun," Ichika said, reclining on the couch that was perpendicular to the one I was seated on. "I heard you got into a fight today. Care to share the juicy details?"

"Well, I--"

"I heard you got into a fistfight behind the shed near the school pool." Miku said quietly, sitting next to me. "Is that true, Fuutarou?"

"What?! Of course not! I--"

"I heard," Nino said from the kitchen, smirking, "that it was a lovers' quarrel. Ah, young love."

I rolled my eyes at her. "You just made that one up."

"Tch."

I turned back to Miku. "No, I didn't get into a fistfight with anyone. There may have been some mild scrapping--"

"That's basically a fistfight!" Ichika laughed.

"--but it simply amounted to the grabbing of a shirt. Nothing more than that," I finished firmly.

"Boo," Ichika whined. "That's less fun."

"Can we stop talking about this? Yotsuba and I need to study."

"That's even less fun, Fuutarou," Ichika said. "I wanted to hear that you got into a fistfight behind a Denny's. I wanted to hear about how you kicked their butts!"

"How violent of you," I said unenthusiastically.

"What, can't a girl want a little spice?" Ichika said, her trademark sly smile gracing her face.

"Alas," I said flatly, "you'll need to seek spice from another source. Like the habaneros that Nino will probably sneak into your food later."

"Hey! I wouldn't do that!" Nino protested. I simply looked at her, and after a moment she looked away.

"...to her."

"Excuse me?"

"I wouldn't do that to her. You're fair game though, Uesugi."

"Remind me not to eat or drink anything else you offer me," I said drily. Nino turned away and muttered something under her breath.

"Um... Uesugi-san, do you mind if we get back to work?"

"Sorry Yotsuba," I said, turning back around to face my study partner. "My bad."

"It's fine, I just wanna get as much done as possible."

Yotsuba looked back down, and I noted that she had a look of sheer concentration on her face, to the point where she seemed almost... distant. Like part of her mind was somewhere else, mulling over what she was studying and tuning out the rest of the world. I flipped my binder back to the schedule at the beginning, and frowned.

We're quite far behind. I'm really starting to get worried. Second Place-san sapped way more of her progress than I was expecting... not to mention the distraction from her sisters.

"Ah, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said, looking up from her work. "We're switching locations starting tomorrow, right?"

The question snapped me out of my reverie, and I nodded.

"Yeah, my dad leaves tomorrow morning. So we'll start meeting at my place after that."

"I'm excited to see it!" Yotsuba exclaimed, a smile on her face.

"Uh... right," I said, feeling uncomfortable. "Just... be warned. It's much smaller than your apartment."

"That's fine," Yotsuba said, looking back down at her notes. "That just makes it more cozy."

Somehow, I can't shake this feeling of anxiety.

We spent the rest of the evening studying, and making at least decent progress. We were starting to close the gap caused by the session with Second Place-san, but I could tell already that we weren't going to stand a chance of making it, especially with another two sessions with him on the following Thursday and Monday. Our only hope was that Yotsuba would be able to pass the exams without having fully caught up on the material -- we would have to shotgun over certain preliminary topics, and hope for the best.

That comes later though. For now, we need to give her as solid a foundation as we can.

When I got home that evening, my dad was in the middle of packing a small suitcase which I hadn't even known we owned. I got to work helping, and we soon had the suitcase packed and compressed enough to squeeze shut. We then put away the table, pulled out the futons, and went to bed -- we had a very early start the next day.

Within minutes, both my father and Raiha were fast asleep. I, on the other hand, found myself laying in bed, a ball of anxiety welling up in my chest. Scenarios kept running through my head, ludicrous scenarios with minuscule odds of occurring -- and yet I couldn't stop the tide of my mind bringing the thoughts crashing ashore. Images of Yotsuba with a vaguely disgusted look on her face. Images of a brief look of pity, followed by polite disinterest. Images of her politely offering to go study in the library instead, because isn't it a little cramped in here?

I knew that all of those were unlikely -- but somehow, the fact that the odds weren't zero was enough to bring my heart rate up, and gift unto sleep legs with which dodge and weave, all in service of its plot to cleverly elude me. Distractedly, I noted from a detached part of my mind that whenever I got these feelings, this... ball of anxiety, Yotsuba had always surprised me with her warmth and her grace. The fact that I was incapable of extrapolating from the available data and assuming that everything would be fine seemed, to the rational part of my brain, a clear intellectual failing.

Alas, my limbic system didn't remotely give a damn.

I huddled down deeper within my futon, the tightness somehow relieving some of the tension in my chest. There was something comforting about hiding in a dark space, as though one were hidden in turn from the world and its ills.

It's going to be fine. You're being overly dramatic.

Idly, I wondered when I'd begun to become so anxious. Certainly it had been present before I met Yotsuba, but I had noticed it more ever since then. There were changes which had begun to take place in my day-to-day life that I quite liked, but this was definitely not one of them. It wasn't that she evoked stress in me -- it was more that I was ill-accustomed to having to care about what someone thought of me. I didn't know to what extent it was rational to worry, which things could be elided over, and which errors were a step too far.

It was as though I had begun stretching a muscle that I'd not used in five years. It was no wonder that it was cramping.

At some point in my angst I must have fallen asleep, because I was suddenly being shaken by Raiha, and it was time to get up and get ready for the day. It was quite early, perhaps half past five in the morning. We all ate breakfast, and then we left the apartment to take my father to the train station.

When we arrived , my father began getting emotional.

" I'm a bit worried. This is the longest I've been gone since..."

There was a moment of silence, as we all filled in the blank in our heads.

Since my mother died.

"...in a while," he finished lamely, and I suddenly found myself chuckling despite myself.

"Relax," I said. "We'll be fine. It's only a week -- and besides, Raiha's the one who does all the cooking anyways. With you out of the house, the water will be safe."

"The water?" My dad asked, confused.

"Will be safe. From being burned."

My father rolled his eyes, and then gave both Raiha and me hugs. With an almost tearful goodbye, he walked through the turnstile. He turned back at least twice more, both times with Raiha and me raising our hands to wave to him.

Then, he was gone, and Raiha and I were standing there alone.

"Well," I said, "shall we head home? We have a bit of time before we need to get you to school."

Raiha nodded silently, a bit of a sad look on her face. We began walking back to the bus, but I was mildly concerned by the dejected expression on my little sister's face. Suddenly, I was struck by a strong fraternal urge, and looked around us.

We're near a station... there should be something open this early...

"Hey, Raiha?"

"Hmm?"

"Dad left us a bit of money to, and I quote, 'treat ourselves'. Do you want to go to that coffee shop over there? I hear they do really tasty chocolate drinks with no caffeine in them."

"Eh? You want to... Eh?! Who are you, and what did you do with my big brother?" Raiha cried in shock.

"What?!"

"The Onii-chan I know would never want to spend money on sugary drinks!"

"You just seemed sad, so I--"

Raiha squinted her eyes and protruded her lips like she was attempting to scan the inside of my brain and read all of my innermost thoughts. On most people it would have looked quite ludicrous, but on her it was just vaguely adorable.

"Fine, I've perhaps -- perhaps! -- occasionally been spending an extra one or two hundred yen to buy drinks during the day in between classes," I sighed. "It's my greatest shame."

Raiha blinked. "If that's your biggest shame, Onii-chan, then you're doing pretty well."

"Look, do you want the frosty liquid sugar or not?" I scowled.

"I want the frosty liquid sugar," Raiha said, and as we walked towards the café, I noticed there was a slight spring in her step that hadn't been there before. Despite myself, a small smile crossed my face. We walked in through the sliding automatic door, and made our way up to the counter where a bored barista was standing. They put on a cheery face as soon as we got close and I ordered a small 'frappuccino' (whatever the hell that was) for myself and another for Raiha. She wanted one that had a strawberry flavour, while I ordered a caramel-flavoured one. We sat at a nearby table while we waited for our order to be completed, and I noticed Raiha was kicking her legs back in forth in subdued excitement.

I suppose this is a rare treat for both of us. Not that we'll be making a habit of it.

Suddenly, I heard my name called, and I popped out of my chair to grab the two cold drinks. I slid the paper wrappers off the two straws I was handed, and slid each into their respective 'frappuccino'. I then walked back over to Raiha, who at this point was practically bouncing in her seat. I bowed deeply and dramatically handed over the drink, and she happily took it. We started walking out of the café, and Raiha took her first sip.

"This is amazing! It's so sweet, and delicious, and--"

"Scrumptious?" I said, smiling slightly.

"I don't know what that means, but sure!"

We started walking towards the bus, both enjoying our treat. Mine was a bit too sweet for my liking, but Raiha seemed a lot happier, so I was hardly going to complain about such simple things as it having too much sugar. It was a small price to pay.

Well, they were fairly expensive, so I guess it's not such a small price to pay -- but c'est la vie.

Suddenly, Raiha doubled over in apparent pain.

"Ahhhhhh my head hurts! What the heck?!"

"That would be what's colloquially known as 'brain-freeze'," I said sympathetically. "You should probably drink that a bit slower."

Raiha looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

"Onii-chan, it hurts."

"Try pressing your thumb against the roof of your mouth, it should help a little bit. The brain freeze is caused by the membrane in the roof of your mouth contracting from the cold. Warming it up again helps a little bit."

Raiha shoved her thumb in her mouth and pressed it against the roof of her mouth, and after a little while, it seemed to work. We began walking once she'd recovered to the point of being willing to move again. Her eyes still tearful, she looked back down at her treat with slight fear in her eyes.

"Onii-chan, my drink bit me. I'm kinda scared to drink it again."

"Take it slowly," I said as we arrived at the bus stop. "It's October, so it's not going to melt immediately -- so take your time."

Raiha nodded wordlessly, and slowly, quietly sipped on her drink. We eventually got on the bus and made our way home; and by the time we stepped off, she was happily re-engaged with the strawberry drink. The skip was back in her step, and I felt a sense of relief at having successfully fulfilled my fraternal duties.

We had about another hour to relax and finish our drinks, and then I walked with Raiha to her elementary school. The whole way, she was talking my ear off about the latest episode of her anime that she had been watching. I couldn't quite follow the details, but I did my best to at least appear to be paying close attention. After dropping her off, I caught the bus to head to my own school.

As Itsuki had predicted, most of the school seemed to know about my argument with Second Place-san -- but outside of my class, most people seemed to not particularly care. It was just a bit of an oddity to them, one to laugh about with their friends, and then forget. Frankly, I wasn't too upset about that. The fewer people who were gossiping about me, the better.

Throughout the day, however, the anxiety I had felt the night before continued to gnaw at my belly, rearing its ugly head whenever I dared to think about what was coming that evening. When I sat down for lunch with Yotsuba, it had gotten so bad that I felt driven to vocalize it. Yotsuba just seemed bemused, however.

"I don't really get it," she said, taking a big bite of her tonkatsu. "Issnobgdulafferall."

"Chew, then talk," I said, sighing to myself.

She swallowed, then shook her head. "It's not a big deal to me that your apartment is small."

"I guess I just have a hang-up about it," I sighed. "This is just me being dumb, sorry."

Yotsuba smiled. "No, if it's something you're worried about, I want to try and understand."

"Well... let me put it this way. See that table next to us?"

"...Yeah?"

"Ok, now see the table two over that way?"

"Yes."

"Alright, now, finally, see the tables across the aisle?"

"Yes...?" Yotsuba said, a hint of confusion entering her voice.

"That's how big our apartment is. All of it."

Yotsuba looked around at the tables again, and seemed to be pondering something. Then she turned back to me, and shrugged.

"Seems pretty cozy, then."

"I mean," I said, suddenly not sure how to proceed, "it's just... a pretty drastic departure from the kind of size you're used to."

"Actually," Yotsuba said, playing around with her food idly, "that's only a bit smaller than the apartment we used to live in. So it really doesn't bother me."

"...Eh?"

That was news to me. Yotsuba looked up at me, a confused expression on her face.

"What?"

"You lived in an apartment that small?"

"Yeah," Yotsuba said, tilting her head. "It was a few years ago though."

"But... you're rich rich. How on earth...?"

A mischievous look suddenly crossed Yotsuba's face. "Shi shi shi. You want to know all about my dark and tragic past, Uesugi-san?"

"You have a dark and tragic past?" I asked, suddenly marginally skeptical.

"Oh, indeed, Uesugi-san! It's practically right out of a Greek tragedy. A murky tale for the ages!"

"Is that so?" I asked, deciding to play along. "Pray tell, Yotsuba, what is your angsty backstory?"

"Well," she said, winking and putting her hand near her mouth in a reasonable affectation of a shady used-car salesman, "I'll cut ya' a deal, kid."

I sighed. "I don't like the sound of this. What's the deal?"

"I'll tell ya' all about my tragic backstory... iiiiiif you stop worrying about the size of the apartment."

I frowned. "It's not like I'm worrying about it intentionally, Yotsuba. That's not how anxiety works."

Yotsuba frowned back in turn. "Well, shoot. I was hoping that would work. Back to the ol' drawing board."

Something about the look of genuine disappointment on her face made me crack up -- and despite myself, the ball of anxiety in my chest seemed to loosen a bit. Yotsuba grinned, as if she knew the effect her face had elicited... and perhaps she did. Perhaps it had been intentional.

After school ended that day, Yotsuba elected to come straight to my place instead of going home to her own for dinner. We walked together from the school to the nearest bus stop, since there was a task we needed to complete before we could return to Raiha's and my 'cozy' apartment -- and that was to retrieve the aforementioned younger sister.

We idly chatted on the bus, Yotsuba as constant a stream of enthusiasm and cheer as usual. Any anxiety that was still in my chest was being actively suppressed by her energy, and I found myself chuckling at her jokes almost against my will. By the time we arrived at Raiha's elementary school, I had almost forgotten the oncoming introduction of Yotsuba to my home.

When we walked in the gate, Raiha ran out the front door, and hugged Yotsuba.

"Yotsuba-nee-chan! I'm so happy to see you!" she squealed.

"Ah, Raiha-chan, I'm so happy to see you too!" Yotsuba squealed in return, returning the hug twice-over. "You're so cute, I was so excited to see you again!"

I watched this... perhaps the best term for it was ritual, with a vague sense of amusement. It was, of course, an objectively good thing that my friend was getting along with my little sister -- but I couldn't help but find funny the way they both expressed those feelings in such an over-the-top way.

"Are you ready to go, Raiha?" I asked my sister, who was still wrapped around Yotsuba.

"Mhmm!" she replied, her face buried in Yotsuba's stomach.

The three of us began walking together, Raiha in between us chatting up a storm. There was something... easy about the way we just strolled, Raiha holding hands with both of us and skipping along the sidewalk. At one point, Yotsuba glanced up from her intense conversation with my sister, and grinned.

"Hey, Uesugi-san, the way we're all walking... doesn't it look like we're Raiha-chan's parents?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Not in the slightest."

She stuck her tongue out at me playfully. "This is nice though, we should do it more often."

"Which part? Walking home, or picking up Raiha?"

Yotsuba pondered this for a second.

"...Both? Both. Both is good."

I snorted, but then nodded my head. "I'd be fine with that."

Yotsuba gave me a small smile, and then was suddenly pulled back into her conversation by Raiha, who was intent on talking about their mutual interest in anime. I just listened, feeling vaguely content. As we walked, the cool October wind blew past us, sending the leaves on the ground flowing about in small eddies, tiny invisible vortices making them dance and sway in the air before gently settling back to earth.

Eventually, we reached our apartment, and it was only as I unlocked the door, Yotsuba and Raiha waiting behind me, that I suddenly remembered that I had been anxious about her coming over. It was far too late to worry, however, as I opened the door, and stepped into our small entryway. Taking off my shoes, I stepped into the kitchen, and then into the main room.

"Ah, see? I was right, it's cozy!"

Yotsuba's voice behind me took the anxiety that had momentarily flared up, slapped it in the face, told it had been very naughty, and then banished it into the murky depths of the ether from whence it had sprung. The sense of relief that coursed through my veins, despite rationally knowing that her words were coming, were enough to make me laugh.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, did I say something funny?" Yotsuba said, taking off her shoes and stepping into the main room.

"No, sorry. Don't worry about it. Feel free to sit -- do you want some tea?"

"Sure, thanks!"

I put my school-bag down in the usual corner, and went to go put the kettle on. Raiha flopped down on the tatami mats that made up our floor next to the table, and patted the floor next to her. Yotsuba put her bag down, and sat next to Raiha.

"Don't worry, Yotsuba-nee-chan," Raiha said. "Onii-chan isn't like our dad -- he won't burn the water."

Yotsuba furrowed her brow in confusion. "Wait, how can you burn water?"

"That's an excellent question," I said from the kitchen. "One to which I would dearly like to know the answer."

"He's magically terrible at cooking," Raiha said solemnly, with all indication that she was being entirely serious. "I think he was cursed by a god in a past life."

I got to work preparing our cups, but part of me was somehow in disbelief.

She's... actually in our apartment. This is weird . I'm having trouble processing it.

The fact that I was experiencing cognitive dissonance was, in and of itself, causing me cognitive dissonance.

Luckily, if one's name is not Uesugi Isanari, one does not require particular focus to brew tea, and so my mind being a thousand miles away (and also approximately three metres behind my back) had no quantitative effect on the quality of the drinks I was making. Within a few minutes, the tea had finished brewing, and I brought the cups over.

I handed Raiha and Yotsuba steaming hot mugs of tea, and then placed my own down. Yotsuba stared down at her mug for a moment and then looked back up at me.

"Uesugi-san..."

"Yes?"

"I'm touched."

Confused, I looked down at her mug. "What? What are you talking about?"

Yotsuba lifted it up to show me the mug. "I'm so glad you think I'm the world's number-one dad! I'm honoured."

Sure enough, the side of the mug read "World's #1 Dad", a present Raiha and I had gotten for our father about seven years prior for his birthday using our scant pocket change. I'd grabbed it without thinking, since it was one of the very few we owned.

"I promise you," Yotsuba continued, putting her hand over her heart. "I may have received this award now, but I'm not going to stay stagnant -- I'm going to continue to grow, and become a truly amazing father one day!"

Beside her, Raiha started cackling. I rolled my eyes, but despite my best efforts, a grin crept onto my face.

"So, are you planning to do trials for the Best-Dad Olympics?" Raiha asked. "I'll cheer you on with everything I've got!"

"Steady there, Raiha," I said, shaking my head. "She needs to do well in the prefectural Best-Dad heats first."

Yotsuba clenched her hand in a fist in front of herself, staring down at it intently.

"Uesugi-san... Raiha-chan... I'll do my best!"

Then she took a sip of her tea, and sighed contentedly.

"Ah, tea worthy of the world's best dad," she said. "Amazing."

We sat, drank our tea, and chatted for about fifteen more minutes, and then Raiha got up.

"Yotsuba-nee-chan, what do you want for dinner?"

Yotsuba smiled up at her. "I'm happy with whatever you make, Raiha-chan!"

"You should make curry," I said. "Definitely curry. Yotsuba will love it."

Raiha frowned at me. "You're just saying that because you want curry, Onii-chan."

"Correct. Your point?"

"Do you like curry, Uesugi-san?" Yotsuba asked, turning to me.

I nodded. "Especially hers. Raiha makes really good curry -- it's probably my favourite thing to eat."

Yotsuba nodded several times, almost as if pondering something to herself. Then she turned back to my sister.

"I want to have curry then, if that's ok with you!"

"Leave it to me!"

Raiha trotted into the kitchen, and I looked over at Yotsuba.

"As for you and I... we should probably get to studying."

A sombre look crossed Yotsuba's face, as though she had forgotten the main reason she'd come. "Yeah... you're right."

Raiha busied herself with making dinner, while we grabbed our school bags, pulled out our textbooks, and began to get to work. We started with math, which was still by far Yotsuba's weakest area. She'd come quite far from not even knowing what a variable was... but it was just that. Comparatively quite far. In absolute terms, she was barely off the start line.

All I can do is give her as much support as I can.

"Hey, Uesugi-san?"

"Hmm?"

"What's a 'cardioid'?"

I paused my work on the Frobenius method for solving ordinary differential equations, and looked up at her in confusion.

"You shouldn't be at cardioids yet -- I don't even think they're on the midterms. Where is that coming from?"

"Well, I looked ahead to the section on geometry, and on the list of shapes, they listed a 'cardioid', but there's no picture or anything."

"They listed a cardioid...? The author was just having fun then, that's pretty esoteric."

"What is it though?" Yotsuba said, furrowing her brow.

I paused for a second, thinking how best to proceed. Then, I looked down at my empty tea mug.

"Ok, here, take this."

I handed her the mug, and she looked down at it for a moment. Then she looked back up at me, and smiled. Somehow, it reminded me of when I'd returned her own test to her.

"Thank you for the gift! I'll cherish it, Uesugi-san!"

I bonked her gently on the head.

"Idiot. Look into it, and slowly move it around. What do you see?"

"Tea dregs...?"

"Anything else?"

She stared into the cup, and then her eyes lit up.

"Oh! The light is making patterns at the bottom!"

"Yep. The shape in there is sometimes a cardioid."

"That's cool!" Yotsuba said, moving the mug around and staring at it in fascination.

"Yeah. You can write the equation for it using trigonometric functions and plane polar coordinates, but you're not even close to being there yet."

Yotsuba put the mug down. "I don't really have a good idea of the shape though. Can you draw it?"

"Sure."

I grabbed some paper, drew a coordinate-axis, sketched a basic cardioid, and handed it back over to her -- and then realized my error when I saw the look on Yotsuba's face.

"Shi shi shi. What's this? Handing me something like this... Uesugi-san, you sly dog! How sneaky!"

I face-palmed, and reached to pull the paper back, but Yotsuba kept it out of my reach, sticking her tongue out playfully.

"Have no fear, Uesugi-san! I'll make sure to memorize this shape! Then, when I reach trigonometry, I'll have a big step ahead!"

"I cannot stress how much you don't need this thing for the midterms," I said, my voice strained. "On multiple levels."

"What did Onii-chan give you?" Raiha called from the kitchen over the sound of sizzling oil, presumably cooking some kind of side-dish.

Yotsuba quickly stood up, pulling the paper further out of my reach, and hustled over to Raiha's side. There was a quick moment of whispering, and then Raiha turned to look at me.

"Onii-chan, I thought you were studying -- why are you passing Yotsuba-nee-chan notes with hearts on them?"

"It's a cardioid, it's a geometrically useful shape, and that was not my intention," I said, feeling surprisingly flustered. "Truly."

Raiha gave me a doubtful look, which I thought was deeply unfair given my repeatedly professed position on such subjects, but Yotsuba just laughed. She came back to the table, put the paper down, and returned to studying. After a moment of quiet indignation, I returned to Ferdinand Frobenius and his method.

About twenty minutes later, Raiha finished cooking, and we hurriedly cleared away our notes in order to ingest sustenance. My sister placed the curry in front of each of us, and then poured rice into bowls from our small rice-cooker. I took a bite of mine, and was immediately in heaven, the umami flavour seeping into my mouth.

Nino may be the better cook by far... but this is still my favourite food.

"Raiha-chan, this is so good!" Yotsuba exclaimed, shoving a spoonful in her mouth. After swallowing, she stared down at it in wonder. "I think this is even better than Nino's curry!"

"Don't let her hear you say that," I said, shaking my head. "She'll blow a gasket."

"Oh, good point," Yotsuba said. Then, she lowered her head, and whispered, "I think this is even better than Nino's curry!"

"Why are you whispering?" Raiha whispered.

"There are Ninos in the walls," I whispered as well. "She's always listening."

There was a moment of silence, and then Yotsuba and I both started laughing. Raiha, who had no idea what a 'Nino' was, looked back and forth between us, shrugged in confusion, and then dug into her curry.

After dinner, I washed the dishes while Yotsuba and Raiha sat and talked about anime. Their conversation was almost entirely unintelligible to me, and so I tuned it out, focusing on finishing the job of cleaning the dishware as quickly as possible. As I put the last bowl to drain, Raiha flopped on the floor, and I suddenly remembered something important that had completely slipped my mind.

"Raiha?"

She froze. "...Yes?"

"Do you have homework?"

"...Maybe?"

"What do you mean, maybe?"

"...I said what I said."

I turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow. She made eye-contact, maintained it for a moment, and then almost seemed to crumple.

"Ok, fine, I do. I'll go get it..."

Raiha trudged over to get her stuff, and then flopped back on the floor next to the table.

"I don't wanna study," she moaned. "Don't wanna."

"Dad's not here, so I need to make you do it."

"You're the one who makes me do it anyways!" Raiha complained.

"Yeah, but I doubly need to make you do it now."

Raiha let out a wordless groan, and just flopped around on the floor. Sometimes, she seemed mature for her age... other times, it was extremely apparent what her true age was.

"Raiha-chan, why don't you study with us?" Yotsuba said, smiling gently at her and patting the spot next to her. "We can do it together."

Raiha perked up at that, and sat back up to sit next to Yotsuba. I frowned at the disparate effects our words had induced, but then shrugged to myself.

It makes sense that she'd react differently to someone else, versus her older brother. Such is life.

I returned to my spot, and got back into the groove of things. Raiha's presence definitely slowed things down, in particular because whenever she had a question about something, she asked Yotsuba about it instead of me, bombarding her with questions about math, social studies, and kanji. At first, I wanted to step in and tell her to stop distracting Yotsuba -- but all of the questions were met with equally keen answers, and I decided that it wasn't worth it.

If they both want to focus on that, I guess I shouldn't complain. Maybe it'll help spark some connections for Yotsuba. After all, the best way to learn something is to teach it.

At one point, Yotsuba frowned at her work, and looked up at me.

"Uesugi-san... can I get some help with this? I'm done with coupled systems of linear equations, and now I'm getting to something called 'quadratic polynomials'?"

"Sure, what's the question?"

"Uh... what are they?"

"The answer is 42!" Raiha chimed in, beaming.

"Thanks, Raiha," I said drily. "Very helpful."

"Doing my best!" she said, giving a little salute.

I started giving Yotsuba a verbal description of what a quadratic polynomial was, but as expected, she got confused fairly quickly. There was a difficulty increase when going from an exponent of one to an exponent of two; rather like the graph of a quadratic versus a linear function, now that I thought about it.

"I think I need to see a picture," she said, shaking her head. "I don't think the symbols are going to work right away."

"Alright," I said, frowning. "Let me just think for a moment about the best way to present this."

Then, I pulled out a piece of paper.

"Ok, come over here, I'll show you how quadratics work."

Yotsuba scooched around the table and sat next to me. As I drew a coordinate axis on the paper, and drew a simple parabola, I was quickly consumed by my explanation. I glanced back up at her periodically to make sure that she was following -- and it seemed that with the graphical representation, she was grasping the concept a bit more easily. In order to confirm, though, I had her repeat the concepts back to me in her own words, and draw graphs herself.

We continued talking like that, drawing parabolas, writing their corresponding quadratic polynomials, and looking at how transformations changed the parabolas, for almost an hour. By the end, I was fairly confident that Yotsuba could sketch a parabola from a quadratic function, and transform it at ease. I decided that teaching how to actually solve a quadratic function was something that would need to wait for another day. There were other subjects we needed to worry about.

It was only as I made the conscious choice to not move on to the roots of quadratics that I noticed just how close she was.

Yotsuba was practically pressed up against my shoulder -- only the barest of gaps separated us, perhaps a centimetre at most. She was leaning over to see the papers I'd been drawing on, and so her head was also extremely close, overlapping with my shoulder vertically. If she lowered her head, it would have been resting on my shoulder, though the vertical gap was a bit larger than the horizontal one.

She'd been in this position, more or less, for about an hour, moving back as needed when I turned to talk to her -- but I hadn't even noticed how close she'd been. It had just felt completely natural. I frowned, staring back down at the paper.

Aren't I supposed to feel embarrassed about this or something?

Then I mentally shrugged. I'd never particularly been one to get nervous about such trivial things.

I shouldn't read into it too much. This is normal.

As I over-analyzed, Raiha suddenly let out a large yawn, covering her mouth as she did so. I check the time on my phone, and was shocked to see that it was already past nine.

"Ah, Yotsuba," I said, turning to face her just as she withdrew her head -- which was lucky, because there would have been a chance of a collision. "What time did you need to head home?"

She frowned, looking at her phone. "I guess I can call a taxi whenever I need to, though I probably shouldn't stay much later. Besides, Raiha-chan looks like she needs to go to bed."

"Nooo, I can stay up," Raiha said blearily. "It's fine, you can stay Yotsuba-nee-chaaaa--"

Her words were interrupted by another large yawn.

"You," I said firmly, "need to go have your bath, and then get ready for bed. You're falling asleep over there, and you had a very early start today to begin with."

"...'kay," Raiha said sleepily. She got up, and made her way over to our small bathroom. I turned back to Yotsuba, and she smiled at me.

"Sleepy Raiha is adorable," she said happily.

"This is true," I said, smiling back. "Shall we pack up?"

Yotsuba nodded, and we both packed our textbooks away, though I left my notes on the table -- I wanted to finish working on my understanding of the Frobenius method after Yotsuba had gone home . Then, she pulled out her phone, and called a taxi. When she was done making the call, she went to go put her shoes on.

"I'll wait with you," I said, getting up to join her. The two of us stepped out the door, and down the steps to the street. The October night air was cold, but the wind was weak, and so it was at least comfortable.

"Thanks for having me over, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said. "I had a great time. Raiha's cooking was delicious!"

"Of course," I said, smiling slightly. "It may not have been quite as productive as being at your place or the library, but I'm glad you had fun -- and thanks for doing this. It makes watching Raiha a lot easier."

"It's no trouble! She's a great kid, it's fun to hang out with her!"

"Yeah, she is," I said. "She really likes you -- I'm really glad. It would be awkward if my sister hated your guts."

"Yeah," Yotsuba said, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder what that would be like. Sounds terrible."

It took me a moment to connect the dots, and then I snorted.

"Hey, come on, I don't think any of your sisters really hate my guts anymore."

Yotsuba's eyebrow remained lifted.

"Nino doesn't hate my guts, she only hates my liver."

"Your liver?"

"Yeah. You know, because it filters out whatever she sneaks into my food to poison me."

"Ah, I see," Yotsuba said. "That makes sense. Her nemesis lurks within your very body, Uesugi-san! Beware, or she'll rip it out one day to seize her foe and strike it down!"

"Are you trying to say Nino is going to do surgery on me? Or that she's just going to stab me?"

"Aye," Yotsuba said sagely, not answering the question. "Don't make her angry , lad die ."

"Too late."

"Alas! Yer' doomed!"

"Unfortunately," I said, shaking my head and a more serious tone returning to my voice, "the things that I think will make her upset, and the things that do make her upset, seem to be only partially overlapping sets."

"Ah, well, that's just how it is sometimes. You'll figure her out, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said with a shrug.

"I appreciate your faith in me," I said drily.

" I have tons of faith in you," Yotsuba said simply.

Her words resonated with me in a way that I wasn't expecting. To my surprise, I realized that I was touched.

"Thank you. That... actually means a lot. "

Having said that, t here was a feeling lurking in the back of my mind. Some sense that there was a second meaning to what she was saying -- but I couldn't piece together what it was. It was like I was trying to put together a puzzle, and all I had were a few of the centre pieces.

It's nothing. I suck at psychoanalysis. Leave it alone.

A light shone around the corner, and then a taxi was pulling up in front of us.

"Same time, same place tomorrow?" Yotsuba said as she pulled open the door.

"Don't you have your session with Second Place-san tomorrow?" I said, frowning.

"Oh... right," she said, a look of disappointment on her face. "Well then... I guess the day after?"

"Sure," I said. "Sounds good."

"Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, sleep well."

Then the door closed, the car left, and I was alone in the cool night. I looked around me for a moment, shivered, and then made my way back to the door. When I went back inside, Raiha was still in the bath, and so as I took off my shoes and stepped back inside, the main room was empty. In the absence of other people... despite its small size, the place felt cavernous.

I walked back over to the table, and sat down to get a little more work done. Then, I looked over the other papers on the table, and frowned. Yotsuba seemed to have accidentally forgotten the notes on parabolas. I moved those pieces of paper over into a pile, so that I could give them to her the next day. As I surveyed the rest of the scattered notes, my frown deepened. She'd forgotten the useful notes, but had apparently packed up the completely useless sketch on optics and plane-polar coordinates.

She had taken the cardioid with her.

"Huh. Silly of her," I muttered.

Shrugging, I returned to studying.

Chapter 18: The Storm Resumes

Chapter 18
The Storm Resumes

The next day was Thursday, and I was in a funk. After arriving at school, I had looked for Yotsuba before class in order to give her the notes she'd forgotten, but I hadn't been able to find her. As it got dangerously close to the start of the day's lectures, I finally whipped out my phone, and sent her an e-mail.

The last thing we need is her losing her study materials...

<Hey, where are you? I have some notes for you that you left behind>

There was no response for a few minutes, and I began to eye the clock nervously. There were about four minutes left before class when I finally got a response.

<Sorry! Running late today. Wanna have lunch together? I'll get them from you then.>

I looked down at my phone, looked back up at the clock, and then sighed.

So she's not even here yet. Ugh, I should have just messaged first . Stupid of me.

Mildly irritated, I made my way to my classroom, and sat down at my desk mere seconds before the teacher entered. Leaning back in my chair, I happened to glance behind me, and was surprised to see Itsuki already in her seat. From the look of things, she had been there for quite a while as well; she was well set-up. I frowned -- it was unusual for Yotsuba to be late without her sisters being late as well.

Then, the likely cause hit me, and I sighed in mild frustration. Pulling my phone out under the desk, I finally responded to Yotsuba's message.

<Sure, sounds good. But... you stayed up studying after we finished, and then overslept, didn't you?>

There was a delay in the response. Then...

<Busted :(>

<I know I'm the last one you want to hear this from, but pace yourself. It doesn't help you if you miss class and lose out on learning new material which which will be on the exam.>

<I know...>

I stared down at my phone for a moment, concerned, and then snapped it shut to look back up as the teacher began the lesson. I dutifully took notes, but my thoughts were wandering. Part of my mind was still wrapped up in the Frobenius method, but another part was attempting to plot out the trajectory on which we would need to take Yotsuba's studying in order for her to have a fighting chance on the midterms, given there was officially less than a week left..

No matter how I cut it, her sessions with Second Place-san were an insurmountable barrier.

If she had been able to maintain a reasonable pace through them, then maybe... but no. With the inevitable conflagration that would be the session that evening and the following one on Monday, even my most hopeful estimate for the amount she could cover -- let alone retain -- was woefully short of the mark. Those two days were invaluable. She couldn't do without them.

Eventually, lunchtime rolled around, and I made my way to the cafeteria with Itsuki. While we chatted on the way there, I was finding it difficult to focus on a word she was saying. Luckily, she was mostly talking about the upcoming midterm, and so I was able to get by with nodding and making vaguely affirmative-sounding noises.

Once we received our food, we parted ways, and I located my usual table. To my surprise, Yotsuba was already there, a bowl of karaage in front of her.

"Uesugi-saaaaaan! Over here, over here!"

Rolling my eyes, I sat down in the seat across from her.

"This is where we always sit, I know where you are."

"Ah, but Uesugi-san, you were having trouble finding me this morning! So, I thought I'd help by making it nice and simple!"

"That's... fair, I guess? Anyways, I have something for you."

I pulled out the pile of papers from the night before, which I had collated in a folder, and handed them to her.

"This is the actually useful stuff for the midterm. Please don't forget it -- you need to be focusing entirely on what's going to be tested right now if you want to stand a shred of a chance."

Yotsuba took the folder, glanced through it, and then nodded. She pulled her bag off the floor, put the folder away, and then leaned forward in her chair. There was suddenly a serious look on her face.

"Uesugi-san... I have an important question for you."

"Yes?"

Yotsuba seemed to hesitate for a moment, almost as if she didn't want to hear the answer.

"Please be honest with me... do you think I'm going to make it?"

I paused... and then sighed.

"With, or without Second Place-san's continued interference?"

"With, I guess?"

"No," I said bluntly. "You're screwed."

There was an ugly moment of silence as Yotsuba digested what I'd said. Then, she let out a soft laugh. Somehow, it was pain-filled.

"You don't hold back, do you, Uesugi-san?"

I shook my head sadly. "I'm sorry -- I just don't want to lie to you. If you go to these two sessions, you're probably going to fail. Even without them, of course, you still might; just like I said when we started studying for this midterm, I can't guarantee you'll make it, even with all this effort. I can say with confidence, though, that if you do go, you will fail, unless Second Place-san decided to overhaul his entire pedagogy in the last two days."

There was another moment of silence, and then Yotsuba took in a deep, quivering breath, and slowly released it.

"I... don't think he has," she said, her voice quiet.

"That seems like a reasonable assumption," I said, using every ounce of my willpower to not look away from her. She was clearly upset. Somehow, it was... hard for me to face that head-on.

Yotsuba glanced up at me, and it almost seemed like she had a question in her eyes -- though what the question was, I didn't know. We locked eyes, and she looked over my face. Perhaps she found her answer, because a half-smile flitted across her face, though I could tell that it had the same sad quality as her earlier laugh.

"...Ok." Yotsuba said. She took a deep breath, let it out, and then leaned back in her chair. Whether it was the calm herself, or to steel herself, I wasn't sure.

"Uesugi-san... is it alright if I come over tonight as well?"

It took me a moment to process the implications of what she'd said, and then a small smile crossed my face.

"Sure, sounds good."

Yotsuba hunched up on the table, her jaw clenched. I could tell she was deeply uncomfortable with the decision she had just made; part of me felt bad for her, but another part of me found it difficult to fathom why it had been such a hard decision in the first place.

There's something about this I'm not understanding... but if she wants to tell me, she'll tell me. Maybe she really does have a tragic backstory.

"I guess I should let Itsuki know," she said. "Since I'm abandoning her to Second Pl-- uh, to Takeda-san again."

"Heh. My nickname is influencing you," I said, chuckling.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Don't deny it! I caught you red-handed, madam!"

Yotsuba finally laughed, and I felt the tension in my chest immediately release.

"You'll never catch me, copper! You ain't got no proof!" she declared, putting on an accent.

"Ah, the joke's on you -- I've got it all in my memory banks."

Yotsuba lifted the metal chopsticks she'd been using to eat her karaage.

"That's not an obstacle, Uesugi-san -- I just have to lobotomize you!"

"No! Anything but that! My brain is a national treasure!"

At this point we were both laughing. Yotsuba wiped a tear from her eye, and then stood up, her karaage only half-finished.

"I'll be right back -- I just want to break the bad news to Itsuki."

"She's gonna be pretty upset," I said, putting some rice in my mouth.

"I know," Yotsuba said, a bit of her prior moroseness returning to her face.

She left, walking over to the table where her sisters were sitting. I watched as she tapped Itsuki on the shoulder, who had a big helping of food in her mouth. After a moment's conversation, I saw Itsuki blanch, throw her hands dramatically up into the air, and then lower her head to the table in despair.

Part of me found that deeply concerning.

The other part found it extremely funny. What the heck was that reaction?!

Yotsuba came back over, a strange look on her face. We spent the rest of the lunch break just relaxing and talking, but I got the sense that her thoughts were still elsewhere. We decided to meet at the footlockers a few minutes after the day ended, and then when the bell rang, we parted ways.

I ran into Itsuki on the way back to the classroom, catching up to her as she mopily walked down the hallway.

"Hey, Itsuki. Everything alright?"

She looked over at me, and sighed deeply.

"Ah. Uesugi-kun. I've been sentenced to death."

I raised an eyebrow. "Wow, Yotsuba not going to the session is that big of a deal to you, huh?"

"Yes! You haven't had a tutoring session with him -- it's unbearable alone! I think I'll surely die!"

"You're being dramatic -- I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I know I'm being dramatic! I'm also right!"

That made me snort, and Itsuki eyed me up, a hint of a smile on her face.

"Does my pain amuse you, Uesugi-kun? Does it?!"

"Yes," I said, trying to contain myself. "Immensely."

"Asshole," she said, shaking her head, the smile growing slightly. "This is your fault, you know."

"Which part? Taking Yotsuba away, or riling up Second Place-san?"

Itsuki stopped short in her tracks, her eyes widening.

"Oh no. I forgot about that."

"Good luck," I said, starting to feel genuinely a bit guilty. "I mean it."

We reached the classroom, and Itsuki bit her lip. "This is going to be terrible. I'm holding you responsible, Uesugi-kun."

"What else is new? Just do your best."

"I suppose so..."

Upon returning to our seats, I was struck by a thought -- while Yotsuba had been working nearly non-stop to try and get caught up to speed, Itsuki was the only other sister who had begun genuinely studying. I glanced back at her, and saw that she had her notes open for the class; but also had a textbook open next to it for a completely unrelated class, a textbook which she appeared to be hastily reading to cram in a few more minutes of studying before the beginning of the lecture.

She's also doing her best... she deserves a tutor who will help her with that.

Part of me felt guilty that I couldn't be that tutor for her -- but it was out of the question.

I'm no tutor -- and besides, I have my hands entirely full with one Nakano. I don't think I can handle two.

Nevertheless, as our classes continued, I turned the problem over in my head. I couldn't really seem to figure out a solution, however; the only thing that seemed remotely plausible was to try and find whoever Third Place-san was, and attempt to convince them to tutor Itsuki. I could see her father, who had presumably hired Second Place-san in the first place, getting involved at that point though. I didn't particularly want to interact with him -- it seemed like a complication that I didn't desire nor need.

By the time the day ended, I had reached no resolution to the quandary, and it was swiftly driven from my mind once I met up with Yotsuba. She seemed to have mostly gotten over her feelings of guilt, or at least had temporarily suppressed them, and as we rode the bus to pick up my sister, she was smiling as we talked.

Raiha had a similar reaction as the first time we'd come, launching herself at Yotsuba and wrapping around her. We then walked home, Raiha talking our ears off the entire time. Once we'd arrived, Yotsuba and Raiha continued to talk anime, and I made tea.

The evening proceeded smoothly in a very similar fashion to the first -- though I refrained from drawing any more cardioids. We used the time where Yotsuba would have been with Second Place-san to catch up to the schedule, putting ourselves almost back on track with the schedule I'd devised before realizing how derailing he would be.

I suppose that means that after the session on Monday, we may even be slightly ahead of schedule. That would be nice.

After Yotsuba had caught a cab home, Raiha and I sat at the table: I finishing my studies, and Raiha reading a book.

"You really like Yotsuba-nee-chan, huh, Onii-chan?" Raiha commented, flipping the page.

"Mhmm," I said, focusing on writing down the definition of a "regular singularity" for ordinary differential equations. Then, I looked sharply up at my sister.

"As a friend,"

"Oh. Ok," Raiha said, flipping another page. For some reason, I had the feeling she'd been somehow trying to catch me out -- as though asking me out of the blue while I was distracted would make me confess my non-existent undying love.

Whatever. I don't need to prove myself.

The next day, I arrived at the gate just as the Nakano's big black car pulled up. The sisters all piled out, and I was not at all surprised to see that Itsuki looked exhausted. Yotsuba, on the other hand, had an extremely guilty look on her face.

As they started walking into the school, I pulled up next to Itsuki.

"Alright, tell me what happened."

She jumped, quite literally, nearly two feet in the air -- which was quite impressive for an unathletic person from a standstill.

"Uesugi-kun! You scared the heck out of me!"

"Sorry, sorry. So, what happened?"

Itsuki frowned. "He was very angry that Yotsuba wasn't there, and so he started the session by ranting about you. I wasn't having any of it though, and told him off -- that he wasn't being paid to rant about his personal grievances, but to tutor. We then got into an argument, but to be honest... I think it may have been somewhat productive."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Oh? Do continue."

"I told him that he wasn't treating me like a person -- if he was, he wouldn't have thought I was just being manipulated by you. I could have easily told him why he was upsetting me, but he just assumed there was some outside force immediately, and that he hadn't done anything wrong. I actually yelled at him quite loudly, to the point that Nino got upset with us."

"Uh oh."

"Yes, it was a bit unfortunate, because then they started going at it too. Honestly, this whole thing has been exhausting. I think I gave him something to consider though, because he seemed quite troubled by what I'd said. Perhaps, after thinking about it some more, he'll come around. I can only hope so."

"Forgive me if I'm a bit less optimistic," I said drily.

"Yeah, well, the other option he might arrive at is that I'm just an idiot, and my opinion isn't worth listening to," Itsuki shrugged, her voice cracking slightly, betraying her true feelings. "Who knows?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Itsuki!" Yotsuba interjected, the guilt written clear as day on her face. "I would have tried to calm things down!"

"It's fine," she sighed. "You need to do what's right for you. I just hope father doesn't find out that four-fifths of us have been skipping."

Yotsuba blanched. "Oh. Uh... yeah, that would be bad."

I frowned. "Is your dad that scary?"

"He mostly... just really likes to get his way." Yotsuba said tactfully.

That's not helping my concern here.

"He's not a bad person though -- he saves people's lives!"

"Our father is a surgeon," Itsuki added. "A fairly prestigious one."

"Ah. I... see," I said. "I suppose that's why he's never home?"

Itsuki and Yotsuba both just nodded. We reached the lockers, and parted ways to change our footwear. Afterwards, Yotsuba left for her classroom, and I rejoined Itsuki to walk to ours.

"I think Takeda-san needs to watch himself, regardless," Itsuki said as we got approached the room, frowning. "If he isn't getting results, our father is liable to fire him... and he certainly isn't getting results."

"In all fairness, Miku and Ichika aren't exactly making it easy for him either," I said drily, sliding open the classroom door. "Not to mention Nino being Nino."

We sat down at our desks, and class started shortly thereafter. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime, and I was seated in the cafeteria quizzing Yotsuba as we ate.

"What's the name for the long side of a right-angle triangle?"

"Hippopotamus!"

"No. Hypotenuse.

"Ugh, I knew that one!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Sure you did. What's the the area of a circle?"

"Uh... Two pi r?"

"Wrong, it's pi r-squared."

Yotsuba buried her head in her arms. "Ugh, math is going to murder me."

"Yep," I said, with a slight laugh. "Don't feel too bad though. All of your answers are only slightly off. Which means at least something is sticking."

"I... guess that's true."

As she picked up some of her food to eat it, suddenly the hairs on the back of my neck rose of their own accord. It was uncomfortably reminiscent of back when Itsuki would glare at me all the time. I looked up from my conversation with Yotsuba, and saw a blond boy marching through the cafeteria, making a beeline for our table.

"Oh crap," I said, grimacing. "Incoming."

"Whatzamazeruezugisan?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I have no idea what you just said. That's a really bad habit of yours, you know?"

As Yotsuba swallowed, the incoming torpedo struck home.

"Uesugi Fuutarou, I am here to make a protestation!"

I immediately hid my annoyance, and smiled up at Second Place-san lazily.

"Sorry... who are you again?"

Somehow, the question seemed to completely catch the boy off-guard.

"What?! You don't remember who I am?"

"Nope," I lied, looking back down at my food and taking a bite. "Would you mind? I'm in the middle of having lunch, and I'm very busy."

"Oh... uh, sorry." Second Place-san said, wilting slightly. Then, a moment later, he rallied. "Wait, no! I'm obviously not going to fall for such an obvious fib!"

"Tch."

"You stole my student away from me!"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "I did?"

"Indeed! You stole Nakano Yotsuba away from me!"

I turned to look at Yotsuba.

"Yotsuba, did I steal you away?"

For some reason, her face suddenly had a faint pink tinge, but she grinned cheekily at me.

"Nope! Well, maybe a little..."

I turned back up to Second Place-san. "See? I did no such--"

I paused, and then my head whipped back around to Yotsuba.

"Wait, what?"

She winked. "I'm just kidding. I'm a free pirate, cap'n! I roam the seven seas on my own! Arrrrr!"

I rolled my eyes, then turned back to the blond who was looming over us.

"See? I did no such thing."

"I... don't know what any of what she just said meant, but I'm protesting the fact that she didn't come to my tutoring session. This was certainly your fault!"

"Hang on, Takeda-san," Yotsuba said, her voice filled with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Almost reluctantly, Second Place-san turned to look at Yotsuba.

"Why would you assume that it was Uesugi-san's fault? I'm right here, you can just ask me why I didn't come."

"Er... uh... that is..."

Yotsuba simply looked up at him expectantly, before taking another bite of her lunch, not taking her eyes off of him.

"Uh... why didn't you come to the tutoring session, Nakano-san?"

"Oh! Thanks for asking!" Yotsuba said, smiling. "Hmmm, that would probably be because I felt that it was slowing down my studying."

"You... felt that tutoring... was slowing down your studying?"

Yotsuba pondered that for a moment, and then nodded her head. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Isn't Uesugi Fuutarou tutoring you, though?"

"As I told you last time we had this discussion," I said drily, "I am doing no such thing."

"A-ha! You do remember who I am!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Yotsuba frowned. "Whether it's tutoring or not tutoring doesn't really matter. I'm actually making progress towards my goals studying with him. I didn't really feel that I was making much progress in your sessions. I'm really sorry!"

As she said this last bit, she bowed her head deeply. It caught both myself and Second Place-san off-guard, and we both remained in awkward silence for a moment.

"Uh... I don't think you need to apologize to him, Yotsuba," I said.

"No, I do! That was pretty rude of me!"

I actually couldn't argue with that, so I just stayed silent. Second Place-san seemed to be having some kind of internal conflict. Finally, he seemed to decide on something, and frowned.

"Nakano-san, I don't think I can accept that you're choosing this... commoner over me. I hope to see you back at our session on Monday."

"Hang on, what the heck are you talking about?" I inserted. "Yotsuba is just as much of a commoner as me."

Second Place-san stared at me. "I wouldn't dare refer to Dr. Nakano's daughters as commoners. Certainly they have... other shortcomings, to put it mildly, but that isn't one of them."

Wow, their dad is a big deal, huh? ...I already don't like the guy.

"Anyways, how about you respect her decision, and then buzz off?" I said, returning to my meal. "She's already said she wasn't going to come because your pedagogy is deficient. How about you revamp that, and then come back?"

"I'm not going to give up," the blond boy growled. "I'm nothing if not persistent."

"Uh-oh, Yotsuba, looks like you've got a stalker."

"That's-- That's not what I meant!"

"Listen, Second Place-san," I said, and I saw his face darken at the moniker. "You may not know this, but 'no' means 'no'. She said she wasn't going to come. I suggest you focus your efforts on ensuring the Nakano you do still have actually passes her exams."

"You little--"

Second Place-san swallowed whatever he was going to say, and then looked back and forth between myself and Yotsuba with a hard look on his face.

"You're going to fail all of these exams," he said darkly. "Without my help, you don't stand a chance."

Then, he left.

Yotsuba seemed a bit shaken by the supposed tutor's words as he left, and met my eyes. She looked uncertain, almost as though she was looking for some kind of support, and so I gave her a slight smile.

"If you do fail, it will have been for no lack of effort -- and certainly not because you didn't go to his sessions, Yotsuba. You're working really, really hard."

A small smile crossed her face.

"Seriously. I'm proud of you. For the work you've been putting in... and also for standing up for yourself. I remember how much you said you didn't want to do that."

Yotsuba's eyes widened somewhat, and the look on her was grew to be almost... embarrassed? Then, she grinned, and leaned back in her chair. "Shi shi shi! Thanks for the support, Uesugi-san! I'm glad to know I'm doing you proud!"

Somehow, I felt like I was being mocked, but I shrugged it off.

"Regardless... you're pretty much in the final stretch now. No slacking off. If you thought I was a hardass before, wait until you see me in 'weekend before exams' mode."

"Roger!"

That evening, Yotsuba came over again after we picked up Raiha. As we reached the door, and stepped inside, I noted idly how repetition lead to comfort -- I no longer had any qualms about having Yotsuba over in our apartment, at least from the point of view of the size of the space.

I brought over tea, and we got to work. We started off with chemistry, writing down stoichiometric equations. It wasn't overly difficult by any means, but Yotsuba was getting fairly confused.

"Uesugi-san, what the heck is a mole?"

"It's a set amount of a material. You know how, if you go to a bakery, you can order a 'dozen' pastries?"

"Yeah...?"

"It's just a name for a number of things."

"Oh." Yotsuba looked down her notes again, and then looked up at me. "How many things?"

"Uh... around 6.022 times ten to the power of twenty-three. I could look up what the exact number is if you want."

Yotsuba blinked at me. "I don't know what that means."

I frowned. "Which part? Scientific notation is probably going to be on the exam... ah, crap, I don't think we covered it yet."

"So... how much is it?"

"A lot. It's approximately six with twenty-three zeros after it."

Yotsuba processed that for a moment. Then, she reeled back.

"Wait, what? That's huge!"

"Yeah, I think it was defined as the number of carbon-12 atoms in twelve grams of the stuff. Or at least, it used to be. Now it just... is."

She frowned. "What do you mean, it 'just is'?"

I frowned in turn, trying to figure out how to describe this simply. "There's this thing scientists have apparently been doing for the last few years where they've been fixing certain quantities to be exactly particular numbers, and then flipping definitions around to be in terms of those numbers. It's... kind of hard to explain."

Yotsuba just waited.

"Ok, here's an easier example. Suppose you want to measure the speed of light. We know that it's around three hundred thousand kilometres per second, because we measured it. There's a problem though -- what's a metre? How do you know what that is, precisely? It used to be defined by a stick in a lab in France... but the stick changes over time, no matter how well you preserve it, and if something happened to the stick and you had to replace it, you wouldn't know that whatever you used to replace it was exactly the same length. It's not a good way to define the metre."

Yotsuba leaned forward towards me, her eyes narrowing slightly in confusion.

"So, you want a way to define a metre without having to rely on a stick in a basement in France. You want a definition that'll be just as good anywhere in the universe. What can you do? The answer the scientists decided on was to measure the speed of light as accurately as possible... and then define it to be whatever number they found. So, the speed of light isn't approximately 299,792,458 metres per second, it's exactly that amount. Then, they use that number as the definition of the metre -- the distance light travels in one second is 299,792,458 metres, definitionally."

"And... they did that to the mole too?"

"Yep, it's defined to be exactly whatever that number is -- I don't remember the decimals after the fourth digit. It's called Avogadro's number."

"Avocado's number?" Raiha asked, looking up from her homework. "Onii-chan, you're gonna make me hungry."

I frowned at her. "It is almost dinner time."

Glancing back over at Yotsuba, I shrugged. "It's a fairly useful number in chemistry, because when you're dealing with substances on a scale we can see, that's usually around how many particles there are in the substance."

Yotsuba leaned back, and it was only then that I realized how close she'd gotten while I was explaining.

"So, if the formula says I have some number of particles... I can figure out how many moles I have by dividing by that number you said, right?"

"Yep."

"And then... I can use the molar concentration to get the volume?"

"Also correct."

Yotsuba frowned, and then got to work solving various practice problems. I watched her work for a moment, her hair dipping down as she scratched on the paper before her, a single strand hanging over her ear. With a start, I realized I was staring. I shook myself, and got back to my own work. Raiha, mumbling something about how she wished we could afford avocados, got up and started making dinner.

After we ate, we continued studying. I was quite pleased with the progress we were making. The lower bound beyond which Yotsuba stood a chance of passing the exam was within sight. We weren't there yet... but it was a real chance.

After not going to the session on Monday... we should be there by that evening, if nothing else goes wrong.

At around eight o'clock, Yotsuba went home, and Raiha went to have her bath. I finished my own work, but I also started working on a third (and final) binder for Yotsuba. This one would, I hoped, get her caught up to the midterm material. I wasn't hopeful that she could possibly master the material in this package before the exam... but if she could even get thirty percent of it under her belt, it would be enough.

The next morning, Yotsuba arrived to study at around nine-thirty in the morning, shortly after we'd finished having breakfast. The studying was gruelling -- I wrote up a series of tests for Yotsuba, and was discouraged to realize that she was retaining less than what I'd hoped. We could still make it, of course, but it would require a bit more work than I had anticipated. Math, in particular, was still the problem.

Raiha was also chattering non-stop, refusing to do her homework, and generally being rambunctious. I wasn't quite sure what had gotten into her, but I was getting annoyed.

"Raiha," I said with gritted teeth, "I need you to stop."

"Stop what, Onii-chan?"

"Energy. Please. 20% lower. I beg of you."

Raiha frowned. "I can't control that. Sorry! Request denied!"

Yotsuba smiled at me. "It's fine, Uesugi-san, it's not bothering me."

Yeah, but it's bothering me though, I fumed internally.

Perhaps it was just the combination of the various irritants, but I could tell that I was crabby. As a consequence of being aware of the issue, however, I could do my best not to allow it to affect anybody else.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head an hour later. "I need to take a break, and go for a bit of a walk. Clear my head. I think I'm just irritable today."

Yotsuba looked at me curiously. "Huh, you being the one to want to take a break is rare, Uesugi-san. Do you want company, or do you want to be alone?"

I hesitated. What... do I want?

Then, I made a snap decision.

"You're welcome to come if you want. I think I just need some fresh air."

Yotsuba grinned, and got up from the table. Raiha looked back and forth between us, and then flopped on the floor.

"Eh? You're not coming, Raiha-chan?"

"Nah, I'm going to take advantage of Onii-chan not being here to not do my homework."

I frowned. "You were doing that anyways."

"Yeah, but now I'm gonna do it even harder!"

I rolled my eyes, and then got up, and put my coat on. Then, before I knew it, Yotsuba and I were outside, and on the sidewalk.

"Well... shall we wander?" I proposed.

Yotsuba nodded, and we started to just slowly walk along the sidewalk. It was a cool October day, and yet the sky was a bright blue. The leaves had long-since turned, and the trees were beginning to shed their dress, dropping their clothes to the ground below in spinning, twirling dance. Occasionally, a gust of wind would pick up, buffeting us, and sending the leaves skittering around on the pavement, their skritch-skratch of rigid tips scraping on concrete a backdrop to the whistling of the wind.

Occasionally a car would whiz by, blowing the leaves up in similar yet unique patterns. We walked along, eventually reaching an intersection. As though by spontaneous symmetry breaking, we broke towards a particular path and wandered, no particular destination in mind. It was somehow relaxing to just be in Yotsuba's company, quietly enjoying the autumn air. Despite her usual talkativeness, we walked in relative silence.

It was a companionable silence, however.

By the time we began to loop back towards the house, my irritation had been completely wiped away. The cool breeze on my face... the small details to which I'd never thought to pay attention on the random path on which we travelled... it all served to decompress me. Eventually, I was calm again.

It helped that I wasn't alone.

Yotsuba had hardly said a word since we had left the apartment, but whenever I glanced over at her face, she seemed almost... content. Like there weren't any words that needed to be said.

Eventually, like all ephemeral things, the walk came to an end as we returned to the front door of our apartment. I opened it again, letting us both back in... to find Raiha asleep on the floor, napping. I glanced at my phone in amusement -- it was only around eleven-thirty in the morning. I turned back around to Yotsuba, and put a finger over my lips, indicating silence. She nodded, and we both silently returned to our studying.

Yotsuba moved to sit next to me, so that whenever she had questions, she could ask them quietly, so as not to disturb my napping little sister. It was an odd sensation. Whenever she wanted to whisper, she would lean over and cup the left side of her mouth so as to stop the sound going towards Raiha. It did nothing, however, to stop her breath hitting my ear, a sensation that made me shiver.

At around one in the afternoon I got up and made lunch in lieu of Raiha, letting her sleep. It wasn't fantastically made... but it also wasn't bad, either. Perfectly serviceable. After cooking, I woke Raiha up, and we ate together.

The afternoon and evening went by quickly, and eventually Yotsuba went home. I continued working on the third binder for her after she left... but it was slow going. With all the writing for the first and second binders as accumulated stress, I was finding that my hand was getting worse and worse. It had recovered slightly after I'd finished the second one, but it was acting up again, slowing my progress.

The next morning was Sunday, and Yotsuba arrived again at the same time. The morning study session went quite smoothly, and I was happy to see that her retention had improved somewhat. She still wasn't at the level where she was passing the practice tests I was setting, but there was improvement day-by-day... and it was like night-and-day compared to where she had started.

After lunch, I brewed some tea, and set down three mugs. Raiha drank hers quite quickly, but Yotsuba and I drank ours more slowly.

Well, I drank mine more slowly.

Yotsuba drank about a third of hers, and then accidentally put it down on the edge of the binder, which I had handed off to her when she arrived. When she picked said binder up a few minutes later to show me something, the cover lifted and applied a torque to the mug, tipping it over directly onto her stomach. Luckily, it had cooled to the point where it didn't injure her -- but her shirt was soaked.

"Ah, Yotsuba-nee-chan! Are you ok?"

She grimaced, looking down at her stained shirt.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ugh, that was so clumsy of me..."

"Uh... if you want," I said, awkwardly, "we have a washing machine for the building... we don't have a drier though, so we'd need to hang it to dry."

Yotsuba looked up at me, and frowned.

"I don't have another shirt, though..."

I hesitated for a moment, and then sighed.

"Wait here."

I got up and walked over to the set of drawers we had pressed up against one of the walls, and fished through them. All of my dad's clothes were gone; he'd taken every single set he owned with him to Tokyo. The majority of the things I had in there were school uniforms...

Oh. Right. There was that...

I cringed slightly, and pulled out a T-shirt. It was around the right size for me now -- but it certainly hadn't been when I'd received it. Turning back around, I handed the off-pink shirt to Yotsuba, suppressing the emotions it was dragging to the surface.

"Here, this is one of the few T-shirts I own. Go ahead and change in the washroom, I can wash your shirt for you."

Yotsuba looked down at the shirt, and then she got an... odd expression on her face, and looked back up at me.

"Are you sure?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's fine. Go for it. I haven't worn that shirt in ages, though we wash it regularly of course -- don't want it to accumulate mildew or anything."

Yotsuba looked down at the shirt again, and then got up and walked over to our small washroom. A minute or two later, she returned, her old shirt in hand. The T-shirt I'd handed her was certainly a size too large for her... but somehow, seeing her in my shirt evoked a feeling in me that I didn't quite understand.

She seemed a bit self-conscious, looking down at the clothing I'd handed her.

It made sense -- the front was fairly simple, it simply read "I Heart Kyoto" on it in bold white font, with a stylized version of a torii behind it.

"This... doesn't seem like your style, Uesugi-san."

"It's not," I said uncomfortably, shifting on the spot. "It was a gift... from a friend."

Yotsuba furrowed her brow, for some reason getting a look of confusion on her face -- maybe because she knew about my previous lack of friends. Then, she shrugged, and sat back down at the table, handing over her shirt.

"Thanks for this, Uesugi-san. I'm sorry for my klutziness!"

"It's fine," I shrugged. "Accidents happen. I'll be right back. We should do some laundry anyways. Let me just gather our stuff."

I gathered all of our clothes, and then added in Yotsuba's shirt. I wasn't sure how I felt about holding her clothes in my hand, but the indecision about my feelings in and of itself confused me -- so I decided to treat my confused emotions like her shirt, and bury them. I then took the basket out to the washing machine, added some detergent, and set it all going.

I returned to find Yotsuba hard at work, and Raiha very much not doing her homework. The rest of the day went by without incident; overall, we were still slightly behind schedule, but I was quite hopeful that we would remedy the situation following the Monday session.

An hour later, I went to take the clothes out of the washer, and hung them on the line near the window. At one point, I saw Yotsuba glance up at her drying shirt, and a faint blush cross her face... but then she looked away again.

Odd. Maybe I was imagining it.

Unfortunately, the shirt hadn't dried entirely by the time she was ready to leave.

"Just take that shirt with you. You can give it back when you come by tomorrow," I said, shrugging.

"No, Uesugi-san! This was a gift from a friend! I don't want to accidentally steal it!"

"It's fine," I said, glancing away from her. "I trust you."

"Oh. I ...Ok. If you're sure..."

Yotsuba took her still-damp shirt off the line, and eventually went home while still wearing mine.

The next day, at school, I was having lunch, and I could feel the familiar prickle of someone glaring at me. Without even looking, I could guess who it was -- and lo and behold, 'twas indeed a wayward Second Place-san, glaring from across the way.

Maybe he should spend less time glaring at me, and more time helping Itsuki.

That thought prompted a mild feeling of concern in me, and after lunch, I caught Itsuki on her way back to the classroom.

"Hey, Itsuki, I have a question for you."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Yes? What is it?"

"Is the studying for the midterm going alright for you?"

"I have Takeda-san as a tutor. How do you think it's going, Uesugi-kun?"

"I meant your individual studying. I know you've been working hard on your own."

A flush crossed Itsuki's face, almost as though she were embarrassed by her own hard work -- a concept I found baffling. She glanced away from me, and muttered something I couldn't quite make out. Then, she turned back to me.

"It has been going... alright. I'm hopeful I can pass the science exam, maybe."

"Is that so? Good luck. I mean it."

Itsuki got an odd look on her face, but nodded. We reached the classroom, and parted ways. That afternoon, Yotsuba skipped her last tutoring session pre-midterm, and came to study at our apartment. She returned the shirt as well, freshly laundered.

I was thrilled with how the session went. For some reason, Yotsuba was sharper than she had been in the previous days -- perhaps something or other had clicked. We made significant progress, and easily advanced to being ahead of the schedule. She also was making decent headway into the binder I'd made.

By the time Yotsuba went home, I was in an excellent mood.

She might just pull this off.

Tuesday morning, the day before the midterms started, I arrived at school a few minutes before the Nakanos. As I was opening my footlocker, I saw the whole cluster walk by, talking with each other. I nodded at them, and Yotsuba waved at me. The others acknowledged me in their own ways, though Nino's glare seemed a little half-hearted -- perhaps because I hadn't been to their place in a while, and her fiery rage had died down a bit. Regardless, they then dispersed, and I followed Itsuki to the classroom.

The morning classes were a blur, and soon it was lunch and I was eating with Yotsuba, who was starting to get a little nervous.

"I'm not sure I'm ready, Uesugi-san..." she said mopily, pushing her food around with her chopsticks. "There's still so much I don't know."

"That's true," I shrugged. "All you can do though is your best -- and regardless of the results, you can be proud of how hard you worked."

Yotsuba gave me a weak smile. "Yeah... that's true..."

"Besides. You have a promotion to earn, don't you?"

Yotsuba brightened at that. "That's true! I can't stay as a lowly grunt forever! Nakano Yotsuba's gotta move up in the world! I've got new levels of command to reach!"

"You've gotta climb that ladder," I agreed. "Earn that sweet imaginary promotion cash."

I took a bite of my food -- and then froze.

"Oh no. Oh no no no no."

"Eh? Uesugi-san, what's wrong?"

"He's coming again."

Yotsuba frowned, and then turned to look behind her.

"What are you talking abo--"

Then she spotted the furious blond approaching like a bullet from across the cafeteria.

"Oh. That might be a problem," she said.

"Nope. Absolutely not. I refuse to deal with this shit. Yotsuba, are you ready?"

"Huh? Wait, what? Uesugi-san, what am I supposed to be ready fo--"

"Run."

I grabbed my food, loaded it all onto my tray, and began to power walk out of the cafeteria. Yotsuba stared after me for a moment, then started laughing, and grabbed her food to follow suit. Second Place-san stared after me, adjusted his course, and picked up his pace. However, after Yotsuba caught up to me and we exited the cafeteria, I immediately turned a corner down a hall, and then started running full tilt.

I wasn't particularly fast, but I was able to run for short distances at least. Balancing my food on my tray as I did so, I quickly made a series of turns, and (hopefully) made my escape.

"Damn it, Uesugi Fuutarou! Come back here!"

Second Place-san's words echoed through the hallways after me, but I didn't care. With the number of quick turns I'd made, there was no way the wayward blond would be able to track us -- we'd escaped without getting into an irritating fight. Eventually, we stopped next to an empty classroom, I panting and Yotsuba barely out of breath.

Then, we looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

"What the heck?! Uesugi-san, I think that's the first time I've seen you sprint."

"Look, I was desperate! I'm in a good mood today, I don't need him spoiling it."

Yotsuba snickered. "Now I know your one true fear, Uesugi-san! Aha! Your weakness is mine!"

"Nah, that won't help you," I said, deadpan. "My weakness changes every week. It cycles."

"Wait, what? How does that work?!"

"I could tell you, but I would have to kill you. Let's find somewhere to eat that's Second Place-san-proof."

"Want to go up to that landing from last week?"

I smiled at her. "Sure, that sounds nice."

We made our way up to the stairwell leading to the roof -- but to my surprise, the door was unlocked this time. I cautiously stepped outside... only to find a couple having a heated verbal dispute about twenty metres away. From the sound of things, it was bad.

"Nope," I said, turning around, closing the door, and walking back towards Yotsuba. "Not touching that one with a ten-foot pole."

"Eh? What's happening out there, Uesugi-san?"

"Drama."

We settled on the landing again, and had a peaceful, relaxing, Second Place-san-free lunch. I noted idly that it had already been a week since we'd eaten here last. It was nice, sitting and eating with Yotsuba... as I had previously noted, there was something intimate about how small the landing was.

"Uesugi-san, are you nervous at all for the midterms?"

I snorted. "No, not in the slightest. I haven't gotten less than full marks on an exam in about four years."

"Wait, really?! Wow! That's our genius Uesugi-san! Don't you get worried about slipping up?"

"Not really. I over-prepare just so that I have enough margin for error so as to not let any mistakes slip through."

"I think I'd still be nervous about it," Yotsuba said, shaking her head. "I'm super scared for tomorrow!"

I bumped her shoulder with mine, a mirror image of the gesture she'd initiated a week before. "You'll be fine. Relax. Whatever happens, you can go in with confidence knowing you did your bes--"

The door to the roof slammed open, missing Yotsuba by a hair, and a boy ran down the stairs, tears streaming down his face.

"Wait, Ike-san, come back! I love you! I'm sorry for what I said! Please don't leave!"

A girl ran out through the door and down the stairs after the boy, her long hair flying behind her. The pounding of footsteps faded away, and then there was silence.

I turned to look at Yotsuba, whose eyes were wide.

"Holy crap," she said eventually. "You weren't joking."

"I guess... we needed to not touch that with a twenty-foot pole?"

"Thirty," Yotsuba said gravely.

That made me crack, and then she started laughing too.

We finished our lunch, and then returned to our respective classes. That evening, Yotsuba came to my apartment for the last time, and we did one long review session. I wrote comprehensive practice tests for each of our five subjects, and Yotsuba worked through all of them. It took about three hours for her to finish them all -- with several breaks for food, tea, and Raiha time.

When she finally handed them back to me, I got to work marking... and as I went question by question, I felt something sparking in my chest. It was just a faint hint, but it was there.

Triumph.

She had made remarkable progress over the week prior. As I stared down at the tests in front of me, which I had modelled on what I thought the midterms might look like... all of the marks were either in the mid-thirties or low forties, except for math, which was a thirty-one.

If I modelled the midterms correctly, and this wasn't just a fluke... She stands a chance. A good chance.

I looked up at her, and saw that she was practically trembling with nerves. That was fair -- I had spent the last hour marking the practice tests. It was a bit like a puppy waiting to be allowed out the door into the yard. I decided to take pity on her.

"See for yourself," I said, turning the tests back around and handing them to her. She looked at them each in turn, and her eyes slowly widened.

"Wait... what?"

"Before you celebrate too hard," I interjected, "There's a massive caveat. I'm the one who made these tests, not the teachers -- and given how notoriously difficult our exams are, if I miscalibrated them, it's far more likely that I made these tests too easy, rather than too hard."

Yotsuba nodded, attempting to suppress her glee.

"Nevertheless... well done."

A huge grin burst out onto her face, and Yotsuba had a look of pure joy on her face. It was a beautiful sight to see, and I could feel warmth bubbling up in my chest. A strong feeling of pride was swelling beneath the surface, and I couldn't stop myself from grinning.

Raiha flung her arms around her. "Congratulations, Yotsuba-nee-chan! You're gonna crush that test tomorrow!"

Yotsuba hugged her back, and then looked over at me.

"I'm going to do my best tomorrow, Uesugi-san."

I smiled. "I believe in you. Also, like I've been saying -- even if you fall short somehow... there's a world of difference between a twenty-nine, and a zero. A twenty-nine is a springboard for passing the next exam. Regardless of the results here... you're going to be set for future exams so long as you study."

Yotsuba nodded. "I will."

"Also, do not study when you get home. Getting enough sleep is more important than any late-night cramming. I'm serious."

After some final review, she departed, and I finished the last section of my own studies. Raiha and I put the table away, and laid out our futons to sleep.

"Huh, Dad gets home tomorrow evening. This week sure went by quickly," I mused.

"Yeah! He'll be happy -- not one molecule of water got burned while he was gone!"

"That's because he was gone," I said drily. "Regardless, I need to sleep -- I have an exam tomorrow too."

"G'night, Onii-chan!"

As I laid in my futon, the lights off and the shadows cast by the trees outside dancing on the ceiling, illuminated by passing cars, I realized that there was a feeling of anxiety in my chest. It was easy to identify though -- I wasn't nervous for my own exams. I had absolute confidence in my own abilities, and also in my recall of the material.

No, I was nervous for Yotsuba's sake.

I guess this is a side-effect of having friends, huh...?

The morning of the first midterm, I got up early, and took Raiha to school. Then, I made my way to my own high school, making sure to arrive ahead of schedule so I had time for some last minute cramming. Before I went to my classroom, however, I decided to wait by the door until Yotsuba arrived; which she did, about fifteen minutes before the start of the exams.

I pulled her aside, like a coach giving a pep talk to his star athlete.

"Did you get enough sleep?"

"Yep! I conked out as soon as I got home."

"Good. Do you have water, or some other type of hydrating drink?"

"Yeah, I've got that too! Look!"

She showed me a green metallic water-bottle with stickers of the number 428 and a four-leaf clover on it. It sloshed around as she moved it. I looked down at the water bottle, then looked back up at her.

"Alright, good. Do you want to meet at lunch and debrief over how it went?"

Yotsuba smiled at me. "Sure, that sounds nice."

I glanced up at a nearby clock. We needed to part ways soon.

"Uesugi-san, I think you might actually be more nervous than I am!"

I winced. "Yeah, that... may be true."

Yotsuba laughed, and eventually I chuckled. Then, I reached out, and grasped her by both of her shoulders, a gesture that made her let out a small squeak -- which I ignored.

"Before you go in there... I just want you to know that you did an amazing job. You worked your ass off, just like you promised you would. I know this wasn't easy for you, and that you had to sacrifice some things to get enough studying done... So..."

I trailed off, then shook my head.

"I guess what I want to say is: I'm proud of you."

Yotsuba's face turned a bit red, but a soft smile came across her face.

"I... Thanks, Uesugi-san. That means a lot."

I glanced up at the clock again, and then withdrew my hands.

"We need to go."

Yotsuba nodded, then squared her shoulders

"Wish me luck!"

"Good luck! Kick their asses!"

Yotsuba laughed, and marched away to take her exam... and as I watched her retreating back, I wondered if this was how a general felt, sending his troops out onto the battlefield, not knowing if they would return unscathed. The unknown was killing me...

But there was nothing I could do. The results were entirely out of my hands.

All that was left was to wait.

Notes:

Whoo! "How We Met Again" has officially broken 100k words. I'm currently forecasting the final overall length of the fic to sit at around 350-400k words, but we'll see where things go!

Chapter 19: In The Storm's Wake

Chapter 19

In the Storm's Wake

"Uesugi-kun."

I watched Yotsuba's retreating back, nerves and pride admixing in my chest. We had put so much effort into studying and preparation... but some part of me was still fearful that it wouldn't be enough. That our efforts would be in vain, and that everything would go down in flames.

"Uesugi-kun?"

After all, her weakest subject was in the afternoon -- I had hoped that the mathematics exam would be on the Friday, so as to give her a few extra days of prep time... but the goddess of exams was cruel, and time was most certainly up. However much Yotsuba had managed to learn from her studies, coupled with whatever she may have picked up in the classroom... it would have to be enough.

"U-E-SU-GI-KUN!"

Itsuki's voice, loud in my ear, made me jump. I spun around to find her intensely frowning at me.

"Huh? Itsuki?! What's wrong?"

"We have seven minutes until the exam starts! Let's go!"

I looked up at the clock in shock, and then clenched my jaw. She was right.

"My bad, let's hurry."

She and I took off at a brisk walking pace, the classrooms flashing by as we hurriedly navigated the halls.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, rounding a corner. "Confident?"

"I'm fine," Itsuki replied curtly. "All I can do is my best. I'm going to pass everything with my own power, without any help -- despite not really having a tutor."

"Yeah... sorry about that."

Itsuki shrugged. "I've accepted it. It is what it is."

She slid the classroom door open, and we both hurried inside, luckily having made it before the proctoring teacher. As we both settled into our desks, I turned back around to her and mouthed, ' Good luck!'

'You too,' she mouthed back.

'No need,' I returned, smirking.

She rolled her eyes at me, and then the teacher walked into the room. He immediately went to the front of each row of desks, and placed a pile of papers on each one.

"Pass 'em back, and keep 'em flipped over," he said tiredly. "No gettin' ahead of the pack."

My small packet of sheets, stapled together, arrived in front of me along with a number of others, and I separated it out before passing on the remaining packages. The teacher glanced up at the clock, then as it ticked to exactly nine, he slammed his hand on the lectern at the front of the room.

"Alright, staaaaaart!"

An hour and fifteen minutes into the allotted three, I finished the social studies exam. I then spent the next fifteen minutes reviewing for errors, but I found none -- my work, as always, was perfect. At the hour-thirty mark, I raised my hand, and I saw the teacher actually heft a large sigh.

Well, that's uncalled for, I mentally huffed.

He got up, and walked over to loom over my desk.

"Yes?" He said, his voice laced with mild annoyance.

"Sensei, I'm finished."

He gravely looked down at me, and then shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright, Uesugi. You can go."

He picked up my test, and I stood up, stretched, picked up my bag, and left. I glanced back into the room as I left to see Itsuki with her face centimetres away from her paper, eyes wide. The look on her face, from the little I could see, could only be described by one word -- panic.

Well... that doesn't look good.

I had an hour and a half until lunch, and so I decided to wander over to the library. It was, as expected, deserted, and so I settled down into my usual spot with no fear of intruders. Leaning back in the chair, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the silence; save for the ever-present ticking of a distant clock.

I liked finding these small little spots where I could be all alone -- though being there by myself, at this point, felt odd. Wrong, even.

Eventually, I got bored, and decided to pull out my flashcards to review. I briefly went over the mathematical concepts that would be tested on the afternoon's midterm -- and formulas that were worth remembering, as well as operational procedures that I'd thought would be useful. I wasn't particularly worried, but if there was one precept I'd learned to live by, it was the following: there was no such thing as too much practice.

Caught up in my cards and my review, I didn't even notice the time pass, until there was suddenly the ringing of a bell and I realized it was lunch time. Anxiety flared instantaneously, and I hurriedly put away my notes.

I need to check in.

The hallways passed me by as I walked quickly towards the cafeteria, nerves building in my chest. I pushed my way through the doorway, and looked around hastily.

I don't see her. Where is she?

The cafeteria was curiously devoid of Nakanos, and in particular the one Nakano that I wanted to see. Suppressing my anxiety, and telling myself quite reasonably that she may have just had to take a little extra time with the exam, I forced my nerves to quieten, and went over to get my lunch.

"Barbecue meal without the barbecue," I said absent-mindedly, lost in a world of my own internal thoughts. I couldn't still the sickly feeling in my chest.

"I'll have the barbecue meal with the barbecue, please!"

I swung my head to the right at the sound of the familiar voice, and saw Yotsuba standing next to me -- she had appeared as though from nowhere, summoned forth from the void. Reeling back in surprise, I stumbled a bit before righting myself.

"Geez, Yotsuba, you scared me. I didn't hear you coming."

She winked at me. "That's because I'm a ninja, Uesugi-san! I've been training long and hard to be able to perfect my ninjutsu!"

I sighed, masking the internal flood of relief that was cascading through my veins. "You've been studying the Sengoku period too much."

"Huh? Weren't you the one who said you could never have enough practice, Uesugi-san? Look, I've been practicing my moves!"

Yotsuba then proceeded to do a series of complicated "ninja moves", which looked extremely silly. I just watched her silently, and when she was done, I bowed my head, putting my hands together as though praying.

"Unfortunately, Yotsuba-sama, your moves were too fast, and I could not follow them with the naked eye. My deepest apologies."

"Hehe!" Yotsuba sniffed smugly, rubbing a finger under her nose. "That's right! My ninjutsu is unrivalled!"

"Uh... your... food is ready...?"

The two of us turned to the cafeteria worker, who looked far too tired to be dealing with our nonsense.

"Thanks," I said, taking my bowl.

"My deepest regards, my kind sir!" Yotsuba exclaimed, performing a deep bow.

I snorted, and the cafeteria worker just stared at her awkwardly. Yotsuba stayed bowed for far too long, and so I grabbed her by the ribbon.

"Come on, let's go -- I want to grill you on the exam."

"Ahhhh, Uesugi-san! Not the ribboooooooon."

We made our way to our usual table, and sat down. Then, I folded my hands into a steeple, and leaned forward.

"So?"

"I think it went pretty well!" Yotsuba said, smiling. "This is the best I've felt after an exam in... a really long time."

Immediately, the tension in my chest vanished.

"That's great to hear," I said, a smile appearing on my face entirely without my consent. "Really. Hopefully the rest of the midterms are the same."

"Yeah... but," Yotsuba said, her grin fading a little, "next up is my eternal nemesis."

"True," I said, frowning. "Well, all you can do at this point is your best, and maybe a little bit of extra cramming. Want me to quiz you?"

Yotsuba nodded solemnly, and as we ate, I asked her all sorts of conceptual questions I thought might be on the mathematics midterm. She was able to answer around half of them correctly, which gave me some hope that everything would, perhaps, be something approximately resembling "fine".

As the lunch period ended, Yotsuba packed up her things, and got ready to leave for the next exam.

"Wait! One more thing before you go," I said. She turned back curiously.

"What's the name of the trigonometric function given by the sine function divided by the cosine function?"

"Uh... Tangerine?"

I stared in disbelief. Oh my god she's screwe--

"That was a joke, Uesugi-san," she said, sticking out her tongue. "It's tangent!"

Smiling in relief, I shook my head. "You're gonna kill me here. Go get 'em."

Yotsuba saluted, and ran off. I finished loading up my bag, and then returned to my classroom. I got there just as my classmates were beginning to slowly filter in, and I sat in my spot significantly in advance of the beginning of the exam. Lazily, I stared out the window, watching the birds flit about in the grey October sky. It looked cold out there -- I was glad to be inside.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of red, and I turned around to see Itsuki had entered the room. I held a hand up to her, and she wandered over.

"How'd it go?" I asked pleasantly. I was, unfortunately, not shocked when she grimaced.

"Not... not great."

I frowned. "That's rough, I'm sorry. Hopefully the next one goes better!"

Itsuki silently nodded, and then returned to her desk. Somehow, her expression didn't exactly convey a sense of hope -- nor confidence. The teacher entered, and handed out the next set of exams. Soon enough, the time had begun, and I was permitted to flip over my paper.

The midst of an exam was my happy place.

It was like I could finally stretch my limbs all the way out, feeling the sweet burn of extending the joints to their full reach. I was in a solo duel with the pages laid out before me, individual combat in a maelstrom of personal battles being fiercely waged all around me. The challenge, the interpretation of the examiner's intent, the problem-solving...

I was in heaven.

Question after question fell to the tip of my pen, slain by my ample preparation, my skill, and my ingenuity. It was like going to a buffet, and taking a small sample of every item -- the pleasure of the first taste was never-ending, repeated over and over. There were the flavours of which I would never tire.

Yet, alas, despite my never tiring of the taste, the taste eventually tired of me. Like all good things, it ended far too soon, and I finished the three-hour mathematics exam in a mere forty-five minutes. I went over all my answers again, and again... and was convinced there were no errors. I leaned back in my chair, and sighed unhappily.

That was too quick. I wanted it to last longer. I feel... unsatisfied.

Cutting my emotional losses, I quickly handed in the test to the chagrin of the proctor, and then left. Cut loose, I wandered the halls, restless. There were another two hours until the exam ended. Two hours until I could ask Yotsuba all the pressing questions I had about her personal battle.

There was naught to do but pace.

Eventually, I returned to the library again, and resumed studying. It was all I could think to do. Time crawled at the pace of a snail, achingly ticking along at the offensively slow rate of one second every second. Every few minutes, I found myself looking at my phone, checking the time. The seconds were molasses, and I was caught in their grip.

Is it time yet?

No.

Is it time yet?

Still no.

How about now?

"Finally," I muttered to myself as the bell rang. "I need to take more time finishing exams."

Then, I paused, and shook my head.

"Actually, no, scratch that -- they need to make the exams longer."

I pulled out my phone, and shot an e-mail to Yotsuba.

<Meet in the library to debrief?>

Five minutes later, I got her response: but it was just a thumbs up.

I sat there, tapping my foot, my pent up restlessness leaking out through every single one of my pores. The passage of time seemed to continue to decrease, undergoing critical slowing as a phase transition approached. At one point, I felt the overwhelming, suffocating urge to get up and pace -- it took all my willpower not to do so.

With each passing second, I could feel my anticipation build.

Then, a certain ribboned quintuplet popped out from behind a bookshelf, and it reached its peak.

"Well?" I blurted out, unable to contain the anxiety in the meagre confines of my chest any longer.

Yotsuba seemed exhausted. As she walked over to the chair, I could have sworn I saw her stumble slightly, then right herself. She leaned on the back of the chair for a moment, then pulled it out, and collapsed into it. She shook her head, and then swallowed.

"That... was definitely harder than the practice test."

"...Oh."

My built up enthusiasm was still there, but it was suddenly as if a thin layer of hoarfrost had built up over the surface, rendering its movement brittle and liable to destruction.

"Well... well hopefully it still went alright," I said, extending a vestige of hope.

She nodded wearily. "I don't really know how to judge it, Uesugi-san. It was harder than the practice test... but I don't think I bombed the exam. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

I nodded in turn. "That makes sense."

Suddenly, I felt a buzzing in my pocket, and I whipped out my phone to see that I'd received an email from my father.

<Just boarded the train! Wow, the workshop was amazing -- but I'm ready to be home!>

I put it away again. Yotsuba looked at me curiously.

"It's just my dad. He's on his way back from Tokyo tonight."

"Oh! Right, he's coming back now," Yotsuba said brightly, perhaps attempting to wade her way through the exhaustion on the basis of pure willpower. "I guess that means no more studying at your place..."

I shrugged. "I mean, we still can, if you really want -- my dad's a bit of a character though."

Yotsuba grinned at me and leaned forward, all vestiges of her exhaustion suddenly extinguished. "Oh? Do tell, Uesugi-san!"

Simply grimacing, I shook my head. "I can't do him justice. You'd just need to meet him yourself."

For some reason, that made Yotsuba's face go a little red, but then she shook it off. "I... I guess that's fair. Can I still come along to help pick up Raiha?"

I smiled. "Yes, of course. You can also come to the station if you want to -- though of course, don't feel pressured! You just wrote two three-hour exams, it's ok if you just want to go home and sleep."

"Eh? But... Uesugi-san, didn't you also write two three-hour exams?"

I shrugged. "No, I wrote an hour-thirty exam, and then a forty-five minute exam. I spent most of the day kicking my heels in here, being bored out of my mind. Regardless, I'm a bit more used to it than you are."

She stared at me for a long moment. Then, she slowly shook her head in disbelief.

"Wow, you... really are a genius Uesugi-san."

"This is true," I said smugly. "Though also, I work really hard."

We packed up our things, and then left the school together. Yotsuba elected to go home after collecting Raiha (perhaps wanting to put off meeting my... raffish father for another day), and so it was just we two siblings that found ourselves waiting outside the train station at around 6:30pm. The last vestiges of the setting sun were already long gone behind the horizon, and Raiha briefly shivered as the autumn cold was brought swiftly home by the howling wind.

It was, to put it mildly, blustery.

None of that mattered, though, when we saw a blond figure with sunglasses on his head pulling a suitcase through the turnstile. Raiha immediately took off and gave our father a big hug -- I was a bit more demure, but no less happy to see him.

"Dad, dad! Tell us everything you did in Tokyo!" Raiha squealed.

"Gimme a second, kid! There was a lot!"

The three-way hug was broken apart by my dad's announcement that he had brought souvenirs, and that he would share them when we got home. We boarded a bus, and quickly lost ourselves in conversation on the ride back to the small apartment. Raiha was bouncing in the seat next to my dad, while I sat on a sideways seat perpendicular to the two of them, holding the suitcase in place so it wouldn't roll.

"So, kid," he said, eyeing me as the bus rolled to a halt at an intersection. "How did the studying with the girl... what was her name? Nico?"

"Yotsuba. You're thinking of Nino, maybe -- that's her sister that I... don't quite get along with."

"Right, right. How did it go?"

I shrugged helplessly. "I mean, we'll know some time next week. For now, I'm cautiously optimistic... but I don't think the math midterm today went well. So... all we can do is wait."

My dad nodded several times. Then, he turned to Raiha.

"Raiha, they didn't do anything... improper while I was gone, did they?"

"Dad! What the hell are you saying in front of Raiha?" I hissed.

"Onii-chan passed Yotsuba-nee-chan notes with hearts on them!" Raiha said, swinging her legs back and forth. "He tried to make up some excuses though."

"Oh-ho! Did he now?" my dad said, smirking over at me. "Now this I would like to hear about."

I muttered some obscenities under my breath, but then the bus pulled to a halt, and I realized that it was our stop -- my sister, unlike the two of us, had actually been paying attention, and had pushed the button.

"No time to talk, bus off-loading," I said, grabbing the suitcase and wheeling it off the bus.

"This isn't over, kid!" my dad cackled from behind me. "I'll get the juicy details from Raiha if I can't get 'em from you!"

"There are no juicy details!" I insisted, taking the suitcase up the stairs. "It was a cardioid, it's a geometric shape associated with optics and-- stop laughing, damn it!"

The rest of the evening was spent bickering with my father and sister -- but in truth, I was really glad he was home. I hadn't realized how much I was missing him until he returned from his trip. As we put away the table and set out our futons for the night, there was something about the resumption of his snoring that made me feel extremely warm.

The next day had the science exam in the morning, and English in the afternoon. Naturally, I had absolutely no trouble with either -- a feat which backfired immensely in that I spent the majority of both those days kicking dirt (metaphorically) in the library. With nothing to distract me, I worried myself sick over Yotsuba's prospects. Both times, she came out of the exam tentatively confident, but not supremely so.

"It's just really hard to judge, y'know, Uesugi-san?"

"You're asking the wrong person. I haven't had that problem in five years"

"Oh... heh. Good point."

Before we knew it, it was Friday, and it was the final day of exams. It was a half-day; there were no classes in the afternoon, due to there being only one exam that day. As I entered the classroom for the language arts exam, I saw a very distraught Itsuki rocking back and forth in her chair. There were still a few minutes left, so I wandered over to her.

"You doing alright there, Itsuki?"

"I'm.... I'm fine," she said, completely unconvincingly. "Just fine, Uesugi-kun."

"You know," I said helpfully, "where I'm from, we call that a fib. You should try and relax."

"Will that make up for my complete lack of a support structure and guidance from a qualified tutor?" Itsuki asked with feigned hope.

"No, probably not?"

"Well, then I suppose it won't help. Thanks though, Uesugi-kun."

I returned to my seat, mildly worried about Itsuki. Such thoughts were, however, quickly driven from my mind by the language-arts exam before me. Though I certainly had no doubt I would get full marks... this was the trickiest subject to do so, in my mind. Subjectivity played a much more prominent role, and so I had to make an effort to dissect the additional psychological layer that clung, like a membrane, to the test -- the teacher's intentions.

Deriving that information was certainly no small task. In these exams, the majority of my time wasn't spent analyzing texts, nor memorizing obscure kanji; no, it was spent attempting to psychoanalyze the creator of the exam so as to give exactly the sort of answer they might want.

Luckily, I was extremely good at it.

At the two-hour mark, I was done. I handed the test in to the grumpy proctor, and then departed for the library. With bated breath, I found myself pacing repeatedly. The anxiety was monotonic; it kept growing and growing and growing with time. There was something about being so close to the end; to being on the precipice... it made the wait that much more unbearable.

I found myself once again constantly checking my phone for the time. Twenty minutes left. Fifteen. Ten. Five. Three. The minutes seemed to stretch... until the bell finally rang, and I slammed my phone down.

It's finally over.

I got up, throwing my bag over my shoulder, and left for the cafeteria. I ran into Itsuki outside the doors, looking like she had been caught in a twister, thrown through the air alongside a house, and crash-landed on top of a wicked witch with fashionable footwear. In other words, dazed, lost, and confused. She was meandering towards the cafeteria, but it looked almost like she had no clue where she was going.

"Itsuki? Are... are you ok?"

She just turned to look at me, her eyes glazed over.

"Uh...." she said, zoning out. "I... huh?"

"Itsuki? Hello? Earth to Itsuki?"

"...Eh? Oh, Uesugi-kun... I... I didn't notice you there," she said, shaking her head. "I... what were you saying?"

"I asked if you were ok,"

"Oh... I see..." she said, and then shook her head. "Sorry, I'm really out of it. No, I don't think so. I'm going to have lunch and then go home."

"Ah, I see... take care then."

She nodded, and then walked away -- though it would perhaps be more accurate to say that she staggered off. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was drunk -- but it was very clearly the after-effects of the examination.

Frowning, I made my way into the cafeteria itself in Itsuki's footprints, and quickly got my food. I set up in my usual spot, and a few minutes later Yotsuba meandered over with her own lunch. She flopped into the chair, and then smooshed her face into the laminated surface of the table.

"Uesugi-san, I'm so tiiiiiired."

"Hi tired," I said, smirking. "I'm Fuutarou."

Yotsuba's ribbon twitched, and she stuck her tongue out at me.

"Come on, Uesugi-san, that was such a low-effort dad joke! I know you can do better. I believe in you!"

"Nah, my joke reserves have run dry. I am barren. Besides, that's not important right now."

"It's always important to have good jokes!"

"Debrief."

"Fine, fine."

Yotsuba stretched, and then she leaned back in her chair. Her face furrowed in thought, and she rocked slightly in the chair.

"I think... I think this one was the best one."

Relief flooded through me.

"Excellent -- I'm really, really glad to hear that. That's it. That's five out of five done now."

Yotsuba nodded. "I can't believe it's over. It feels like the last two weeks have been a fever dream -- I never knew I could study so intensely. Now that it's done... I just feel completely drained. Like I could sleep for a million years."

"You deserve to sleep for as long as you want to. You worked your ass off."

She gave me a tired smile, and then let out a yawn, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I might go home and have a nap."

"Do it," I said. "You need the recovery time."

"What about you, Uesugi-san?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine. I'm a bit tired -- but to be honest, I think most of my energy was eaten up worrying, rather than by writing the exams."

"Worrying?" Yotsuba asked, furrowing her brow.

"About you."

"...Oh," she said, her ears going a bit pink. "Right. Yes. That makes more sense."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, going home and taking a nap seems like an excellent idea. I wholeheartedly endorse it."

Yotsuba squared her shoulders, and then threw her arm up in a salute. "Aye aye, cap'n! Private Yotsuba, heading home to nap!"

We packed up our bags, and left the school. Parting ways at the gate, I slowly made my way home. The midday sun overhead, coupled with the relatively low volume of traffic, made the whole experience feel almost... ethereal. There was something non-real about going home in the middle of the day. The break from the mundane felt fictitious.

As I walked along the sidewalk next to a major road, I was suddenly struck by an overwhelming urge. Looking around, I saw a crappy hundred-yen store, and a grin crossed my face. Popping into the store, I made a purchase, and slid my ill-begotten goods into my bag.

...and by ill-begotten, I mean I bought it. With money.

How sinful.

Upon returning home, I followed through on my impulse. It took me about twenty minutes to finished my little pet project, utilizing my limited artistic abilities. I was not exactly a regular practitioner of the dark magicks known as "arts and crafts". Regardless, with that finished and out of my system, I relaxed on the floor...

...and then realized I had absolutely nothing to do. Almost every waking hour for the last two weeks, I had been thinking about either studying, or helping Yotsuba study. Now that the latter was no longer a pressing concern, I almost felt bored. The challenge had been exhilarating. Now, however, there was absolutely nothing left to do but wait.

With my back on the tatami mats, I stared at the ceiling.

"I... guess I'll study," I said blandly.

I sat back up, grabbed my bag, and got to work.

The next day was Saturday. It was about halfway through the day, as I lazed about and half-studied, that I realized that, for the first time in two weeks, I wouldn't be seeing Yotsuba at all during the day. There was something strangely discomfiting about that realization -- like there was a piece of my daily habit that was suddenly missing.

The feeling intensified over the two days that I was at home, and I was almost relieved when the weekend ended, and I was finally able to go back to school on Monday. The weekend had been extremely boring, filled with nothing but half-attempted studying -- but I hadn't even been able to do that properly. My thoughts had been filled with the upcoming exam results, and unable to really focus.

Frankly, the past couple of days had been a blur.

Well, that sucked.

As our classes began for the day, the teacher began with an announcement.

"I expect the midterm results to be out on Wednesday at the end of the day," he said, pushing his glasses up with his finger, giving him a distinctly mouse-like appearance. "The rankings will be posted on the big board, but of course the individual breakdowns won't be there -- I'll be giving you those scores during the final period on Wednesday."

The sudden presence of a hard horizon loomed large in my mind, and it was only with considerable effort that I was able to return my attention to the lecture happening in front of me. By the time lunchtime rolled around, I was a nervous wreck. It was all I could do to just keep calm.

I've never been like this before an exam result before. What the hell is wrong with me? Just calm down.

"Hey, Uesugi-kun... what's wrong?"

I jumped slightly as Itsuki's mind-reading voice came from behind me. Spinning around, I saw her standing with her arms crossed in front of her, her brow furrowed in concern.

"Ah. Itsuki. I'm... I'm not sure. I find myself overcome with worry, which is completely atypical of me. How concerning," I said.

She snorted. "Somehow, hearing you say it like that makes me less worried. Seriously, what is wrong?"

"I was being serious!" I said indignantly. "I'm just really distracted, worrying about the exam results."

"I see," she replied carefully. "So... you're... worried about your grades?"

"Oh, no." I said, dismissing the notion out of hand. "Of course not. I'm worried about Yotsuba's. We put all this work in... it's natural for me to be concerned, right?"

"I should have known," she rolled her eyes. "Yes, that does seem reasonable. Well, have fun with that."

Itsuki walked off, but I suddenly had the distinct impression that I'd offended her somehow.

"Itsuki?"

"Yes?" she said, turning her head back to look at me.

"Did I say something to upset you?"

She opened her mouth, then paused, then closed it again. She was silent for a moment, and a pensive look crossed her face.

"I was about to say no... but now that I think about it, I think I am upset. I am not totally sure why, though."

Itsuki thought about it for another moment, and then her face got a bit red.

"Actually, nevermind. I'm not upset. Please forget about it."

She turned around and began walking away, and I frowned.

What was it Yotsuba said the other day? 'That's the face of a liar'. Well, that was certainly the face of a liar.

"Itsuki?" I called again.

Turning back around, she simply raised an eyebrow at me. There was an oddly hard look on her face.

"I just wanted to remind you... we both promised to tell each other when we screwed up, and when we upset each other. Remember?"

Itsuki's face softened, and she nodded silently. Then, she turned back around and walked away.

Well, that was weird.

Pondering this development, I made my own way to the cafeteria. Getting my food, I sat at my usual table, and dug into my lunch. Eventually, I glanced over to see that the quints were at their usual table, all five of them together. Pulling out my flashcards, I began to review, munching on my food... but I felt strangely lonely.

I'm being irrational, I chided myself.

The rest of the day went quickly. As the school day ended, I found myself habitually making my way to the library. I sat at my usual table in my usual spot at my usual time, alone in the library. I puled out my textbooks, and through sheer willpower forced myself to begin to study. In maintaining the top spot in the grade, I couldn't allow myself to slack off... as much as part of me wanted to.

I glanced across the table at the empty chair.

I glanced back down at my work.

Irrational.

Suddenly, I felt a buzz in my pocket, and I hurriedly pulled my phone out of my pocket, accidentally slipping and dropping it on the table. Cursing quietly as it skittered away, I reached over, picked it up again, and flipped it open to see that I had an email from Yotsuba.

<Uesugi-san! Itsuki is bullying me into going back to the session with Takeda-san today, since exams are over. Do you wanna meet up in the library tomorrow though?>

I slowly put the phone down, and leaned back in my chair. Taking a deep breath, I felt myself calm down.

Like I said. Irrational.

Cursing my stupid, traitorous amygdala, I quickly typed a response.

<Sure, sounds good. Try not to piss him off too much.>

<Hey! That's not my fault! ...Mostly.>

<Uh huh.>

<You don't believe me! Shame, Uesugi-san! Shame for a thousand years!>

Snorting, I put my phone away. The room seemed somehow brighter now, and as I looked down at the notes in front of me, they felt somehow... less repulsive. I found it easier to slowly submerge myself down into the depths of studying, sinking down into the depths of flow.

The next day, as I was having lunch, Yotsuba flopped in the chair across from me.

"Uesugi-san! Save me!"

"What am I saving you from, exactly?" I asked, taking in a mouthful of soup.

"Takeda-san spent the whole session talking about how sure he was that I would fail everything. It was really mean! So now I'm sad. Save me from the sad!"

"Ah, I see," I said, taking another sip of my soup. Then, I reached over, and gently bonked her on the head.

"Sad, be gone!"

Yotsuba gave me a brilliant smile.

"It worked!"

I snorted. "Wow, incredible. I have magic powers."

"Very impressive Uesugi-san! Such incredible powers -- it's almost enough to make me forget about what Takeda-san said."

"Don't worry about it -- he's an idiot," I grumbled, ignoring the obvious incongruence involved in calling the second-place student in the grade an idiot. "So, if he says something, the opposite must be true."

"Eh? I don't think that's how it works..."

"Please," I said, smirking. "I'm a genius. If I say that's how it works, that must be how it works."

Yotsuba stared at me for a moment. Then, she laughed.

"That's hard logic to argue with, Uesugi-san!"

"Right? So cheer up. He's about to get the shock of his life tomorrow."

"Yeah," she said, smiling. "Maybe. I hope so."

The two of us continued to eat our lunch, luckily uninterrupted by any wayward Second Place-sans. That evening, I couldn't sleep -- the moment of truth was finally upon us. I tossed, and I turned, and eventually I worried myself to sleep. It was a broken sleep, and eventually I woke up before either Raiha or my dad, an intense feeling of grogginess permeating my body.

Today is gonna be a very long day, I mentally complained.

Contrary to my grumpy musing, however, the day seemed to flash by. Before I knew it, it was the last period of the day, and our teacher was handing out the slips of paper containing our marks.

"Uesugi Fuutarou."

I got up, strolled to the front, and took the slip from my teacher, who gave me a smile.

"Well done, Uesugi. Impressive as always."

I nodded at him, and nonchalantly flipped the slip open as I made my way back to my desk.

As expected, nothing less than perfect.

I slipped the strip of paper into my pocket, and leaned back in the chair. My mind was far away, still within the school, but not held within the confines of the classroom.

Yotsuba should be getting her score around now.

"Nakano Itsuki."

Itsuki rose, and with no small degree of trepidation made her way to the front of the room. Gulping, she took the slip from the teacher, and made her way back to her desk. I caught her eye as she walked back, and she gave me a fearful look. I gave her a thumbs up, and she smiled slightly, though it didn't quite make it to her eyes, which were portraits of anxiety. She kept going, and slowly sank into her seat.

The girl opened her slip, glanced over it slowly, then closed it again. She shut her eyes, and slowly lowered her head to her desk.

I was overcome with a wave of compassion for her, and a small sense of guilt. The one who had put her in this situation was, indirectly, me -- but I wasn't going to sacrifice my own well-being to tutor her. My hands were tied.

When the final slip was handed out, the teacher closed his binder, and nodded to us all.

"The class average was fifty-five percent -- by our school's standards that's a pass, but I expect even more out of all of you. Uesugi is dragging the class's numbers up. If I take out his score, it drops to fifty-three percent. I hope to see that number increase during the finals. Please do your best."

I sighed in annoyance. Great, now the whole class will resent me even more. Also, anyone with sufficient math grades could infer my mark from what he said; not that anyone would expect me getting anything less than a perfect one-hundred.

Shrugging, I got up from my desk, ignoring the glares coming from a portion of the class, and exited the classroom.

I pulled out my phone, and emailed Yotsuba.

<Meet in the library in ten?>

<Ok.>

I frowned down at the nearly immediate response. I couldn't read from it what her likely results would be.

Then, I had a thought, and turned back to see Itsuki still hunched over her desk. The small pang of guilt returned, and I popped back into the classroom, making my way over to her.

"Itsuki... Yotsuba and I are going to meet in the library to debrief on the midterms. Do... do you want to come?"

Itsuki looked up at me, and sniffed. Then, she squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and nodded.

"S-Sure."

I stepped back, and she got up, grabbing her bag. I emailed Yotsuba that I was bringing Itsuki, and she sent back a thumbs up. The two of us made our way to the library, arriving before Yotsuba. Settling down at the table, Itsuki pulled out her slip again, stared down at it, and seemed to almost wilt.

"I... I really thought it would go better, Uesugi-kun."

I gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry... how bad was it?"

Itsuki shook her head. "It... it's bad. I only managed to pass the science exam, and even that wasn't as high as I'd hoped. Here... have a look."

She slid the sheet over to me, and I looked down at it.

I instantly winced.

 

---

Name : Nakano Itsuki

Japanese: 18.      Math: 14.     Science: 43.     Social Studies: 10.      English: 15.

TOTAL: 100

---

 

Itsuki sighed, and slumped down on the table. "I knew you would react like that... The sad thing is, if you take thirty as being a passing grade... I think I actually did better here than my last exam. I guess I just need... just need to work harder."

Her shoulders trembled slightly.

I smiled thinly. "What you need is a real tutor. You should talk to your dad about this."

Itsuki looked conflicted, and didn't say anything. Suddenly, I heard the door to the library open, and a moment later Yotsuba walked into the room. She had a completely neutral look on her face, but I had grown quite good at reading her since we had met -- it also helped that she was a terrible liar.

I knew exactly what she was feeling.

Wordlessly, she sat at the table next to me, and then slid her slip of paper over. I looked down at it, picked it up, and slowly opened it. My hands were, I realized, shaking.

Moment of truth.

 

---

Name : Nakano Yotsuba

Japanese: 53.     Math: 27.      Science: 43.       Social Studies: 47.      English: 38.

TOTAL: 208

---

 

I looked down at the slip, my hands still trembling. Then, I looked up at Yotsuba. I raised a single eyebrow at her, without saying a single word.

She looked back at me, her face deadpan -- or at least her best attempt at deadpan. We held eye-contact for about five seconds... and then she couldn't hold it anymore, and exploded.

"AHHHHHH UESUGI-SAN I'M SO HAPPY BUT ALSO SO FRUSTRATEEEEEEEED!"

I finally allowed myself to smile.

"Congratulations. Passing four out of the five exams is something to be extremely proud of. You worked really hard, and--"

Yotsuba threw her arms around me in a hug, cutting me off. I could feel my face going red as I felt her pressing against me.

"I DID IT, I REALLY DID IT! UESUGI-SAN, THESE ARE THE BEST GRADES I'VE EVER GOTTEN! EVER! IN MY WHOLE LIFE!"

I winced as Yotsuba caused irreparable damage to my eardrum from close range, then smiled, and patted her gently on the head.

"Good job. I'm proud of you."

Yotsuba pulled back, and grinned at me, her radiant smile blinding. Then, Itsuki coughed from across the table.

"Yotsuba, I'm really proud of you... but I don't want to watch you guys flirt today. I'm not feeling up to it right now."

Immediately, Yotsuba's face went bright red, and her ribbons went completely rigid. I could also feel my face growing hot, a physical reaction which surprised me.

"Eh? Itsuki? What are you talking about?! We-We're not! I was just super excited!"

"Sure," she said, sighing. "Whatever you say, Yotsuba."

"Uh... How did it go for you, Itsuki?" Yotsuba asked, suddenly nervous.

"Take a look for yourself," she said morosely. She reached into her pocket, and then frowned.

"Wait, where did it... oh, Uesugi-kun has it."

I slid the slip of paper over to Yotsuba, who gave it a read. She then got up, and immediately ran around the table to give Itsuki a huge hug. She sighed, and accepted the hug, leaning into it.

"Oh well," she said quietly. "I did my best. I just need to work even harder next time."

"You'll do even better next time, Itsuki!" Yotsuba declared. "And... and look! You did really well in science! You've got one subject down, now you just need to get the rest up!"

Itsuki nodded, perking up slightly. "I... I guess that's true. I at least managed to pass my strongest subject."

A thought crossed my mind, and then I immediately made the tactical decision to not mention the fact that Yotsuba had managed to get exactly the same score in Itsuki's best subject as she had.

"Yeah! You did!" Yotsuba said, grinning. "We should go celebrate!"

"Celebrate?" Itsuki asked curiously.

"Yeah! Let's go get crepes!"

Itsuki definitely perked up at that.

"I... I suppose I wouldn't say no to that," she said, glancing from side to side. "You know. If pressed."

"You are being pressed," I said, amused. "I don't think you have a choice."

She sighed. "Well, I suppose that's true. Fine, let's go."

Itsuki got up and packed her things. As she did so, I surreptitiously extended my hand to Yotsuba under the table, and she gave me a quiet high five.

Operation Make-Itsuki-Not-Sad is a success.

"I would love to join you," I said as I loaded my bag and we all began to leave the library, "but I don't really have the funds for that sort of thing. You should enjoy yourselves though, and congra--"

"Nope," Yotsuba declared, wagging her finger at me. "You're coming anyways. You also don't have a choice, Uesugi-san!"

"But... but finances!"

"No buts," Yotsuba said, poking her finger directly into my nose. "You're coming. And also, I can't stress this enough, Uesugi-san -- you're not allowed to pay for yours."

"...Eh?"

"This is my treat. It's the absolute, most minimum thing I can do after all the help you gave me!"

I suddenly, unexpectedly, found myself choking up.

"I... I... ok," I finished weakly. Yotsuba gave me a smug grin, then turned on her heels and began to march out of the school, practically skipping. I looked at Itsuki, and was only mildly surprised to see that she'd cheered up considerably at the prospect of the treat. She looked at the retreating Yotsuba, looked at me, and shifted uncomfortably on the spot -- clearly trying to hide how much she wanted to dive into the magical world of crepes.

"Shall... Shall we go, Uesugi-kun?"

I sighed. "I guess I have no choice. Let's go."

We followed Yotsuba out of the school, and soon enough we found ourselves seated in a crepe store with a waitress taking our orders. I was sitting next to Yotsuba, while Itsuki was across the table. Carefully, I looked through the menu... and then realized I'd never had a crepe before in my life.

"Uh, Yotsuba... I have no idea what's good."

"Eh? Having trouble deciding, Uesugi-san? I never took you for an indecisive kind of guy!" she teased.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just inexperienced. How about you pick for me?"

"Wait, really? I can?"

I nodded silently.

"Excellent! I'm gonna... hmm... wait, I need to take this responsibility seriously! This is a very important choice!"

Yotsuba spent the next five minutes agonizing over what I should get, before finally deciding on a crepe with chocolate mint ice cream in it. Then, exceedingly proud of herself, she leaned back in the booth, and gave me a big grin.

"Shi shi shi, you're gonna love it, Uesugi-san!"

"I trust you," I said simply. "Even if it is the colour of radioactive waste."

"Hey! It's mint! It's choco-mint! It's not radioactive waste!"

"Does it taste like radioactive waste?"

"Noooooo!"

As Yotsuba launched into a passionate defense of the crepe she'd ordered for me, Itsuki just glanced back and forth between us in some confusion. I just shrugged at her, and she shrugged back.

Before long, our crepes were out, and I very reluctantly admitted that not only did it not taste like radioactive waste (or at least, what I imagined it would taste like -- I didn't have first-hand experience, after all), it was actually quite delightful. I promised myself that I would get one for Raiha at some point.

"There is one thing I'm a little bummed about though," Yotsuba sighed, about halfway through her crepe.

"Yeah?"

"I really wanted to pass all five exams... I wanted that promotion!"

"What, being a private isn't good enough for you?" I smirked.

"No, I want that sweet, sweet raise!"

"Is that so?" I said, taking a bite of my crepe. "Well, do you recall the criteria for promotion?"

"Eh? It was to pass all the midterms, right?"

I put down my spoon, and then crossed my arms into an 'X' shape in front of me.

"Bzzzzzt. Wrong."

"Wait, what? I thought--"

"It was that, but then you declared it was impossible -- so I changed it to not getting zeroes on all of your midterms. Remember?"

Yotsuba frowned for a moment... and then her eyes widened.

"Oh... oh, right! I guess... I still get my promotion! Hehehe, I get to be corporal Yotsuba now!"

"Indeed," I said gravely, "and with that promotion comes great responsibility, corporal Yotsuba."

"Eh? Responsibility?!"

"You must keep this safe," I said, and reached into my bag. I pulled out the 100-yen store ribbon I'd bought, which had originally said "Birthday Girl" on it, emblazoned in tacky print; but I'd taken a permanent marker, and had drawn over the central part of the circular ribbon, inking the whole thing in except for a few sections I'd left blank; the empty spots spelled our "Corporal Yotsuba", with the word 'birthday girl' half-peeking out from underneath.

Yotsuba looked at the badge. She looked up at me. She looked back down at the badge.

Then, she snorted.

"Oh my god, Uesugi-san, I love it."

I grinned. "Right? Here you go."

Yotsuba took the badge from me, and stuck it to her vest with the safety pin attached to the back. She then puffed out her chest, extremely proud of her ribbon denoting her promotion.

Itsuki took a bite of her crepe, and rolled her eyes.

"You guys are both massive dorks."

"What! No we're not!" Yotsuba said indignantly.

"Yes, and?" I said, at the exact same moment.

We looked at each other, and then laughed.

"Case in point," Itsuki said drily. Then, she took another bite of her crepe.

We got back to eating, and eventually, our celebratory crepes were gone. With those done, Yotsuba placed her hands firmly down on the table.

"With midterms finally done, we have to prepare, Uesugi-san! Prepare for the next big event!"

"Yeah, that's true, finals are just around the corn--"

"No! Not finals!"

"Wait... what?" I asked in bemusement. "There's... something besides finals?"

Yotsuba stood, her hands pressing on the table intensely.

"We have to prepare for the school camping trip! There's so much fun stuff that we have to do! It's going to be really intense, I want to make sure we have as much fun as humanly possible!"

I just stared at her blankly.

"The... the school camping trip?"

Yotsuba nodded. I scratched my head in confusion. Then...

"...There's a school camping trip?"

Notes:

That concludes the midterms arc! Also, we've got two milestones back to back -- it's officially been six months to the day since I published the first chapter of this fanfic. We've come a long way since then -- and yet, also not so far after all! While the publication pace may have slowed down a bit (I think I wrote the first 55k in one month...), I want to extend my thanks to everyone who has been here for the ride. Let's keep going to the one-year mark!

Thank you so much to everyone who has left a review in the last six months, whether it be on AO3, FF.N, or on Reddit. I really appreciate hearing people's feedback, and learning what works and what doesn't. I don't think I would have had the motivation to keep working on this without all of you. Thank you so much.

Chapter 20: Captured by the Junta!

Chapter 20
Captured by the Junta!

As we were finishing our crepes, and mine had been reduced to mostly a mixture of pastry and delicious radioactive sludge, there was a loud buzz, and we were suddenly surrounded by the gentle sound of precipitation, the chirping of birds, and the thrum of the rainforest. In the distance was the call of some monkey or other. Confused, I momentarily looked around me, before it finally clicked:

Itsuki's phone was ringing.

She pulled it out of her pocket, glanced at the screen, and immediately blanched. Her hands trembling slightly, she slid out of her seat in our booth, and indicated to the smartphone.

"I... I have to take this."

Quickly, Itsuki walked away, pulling the phone up to her ear to talk with the caller as she went. I glanced over at Yotsuba next to me, who had a forlorn look on her face.

"What...?"

"It's probably our dad," she said, poking at what was left of her crepe. "He's gonna find out that a bunch of us were skipping our sessions with Takeda-san..."

"Oh," I said, taking another bite out of my crepe. "Hey, maybe he'll get fired?"

"Maybe..." Yotsuba said doubtfully. "I'd feel kind of bad if that happened though, Uesugi-san."

"Eh? Why?"

"Um, well..." Yotsuba paused to think. "He's not very nice... but Miku and Ichika didn't even give him a chance. And... and he only had a few weeks. When I think about how hard I had to work over two weeks just to make any progress... it was really, really hard! I don't think I could have done it just from being forced by someone else. It really had to come from me. So... um... ah, shoot, what am I trying to say?"

"Are you trying to say that you don't think he had a real opportunity to get you all to pass, even if you'd all gone to the sessions and studied diligently?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Yotsuba said, pointing at me. "That's what I was trying to say! Good job, Uesugi-san!"

I frowned. "I suppose that's fair, as much as I don't like it. I'm worried about him holding you all back, though."

Then, a half-smile came to my face.

"Well, not you. I'm not really worried anymore on that front."

Yotsuba's face reddened slightly. "Eh? Uesugi-san? I--"

"Yotsuba?"

We both turned to see that Itsuki had returned, and was holding out her phone, a grim look on her face. Yotsuba blanched, and I slid out of the booth so that she could exit and grab the omen of incoming doom from Itsuki's hand.

"D-Dad?" she said nervously into the speaker, wandering off. Itsuki slid into the booth across from me, her face pale.

"So...?" I asked tentatively. "How'd it go?"

"How do you think?" she said, shaking her head. "He's unhappy. About the grades, of course, but more-so the skipping of tutoring sessions... though he also listened to what I had to say about Takeda-san's tutoring abilities. I think Yotsuba will get a pass, since she only skipped a couple of sessions, and also her grades were mostly fine. The others though..."

They're screwed.

She winced. "It's going to be a bloodbath when we get home. Our father is calling a family meeting tonight."

"A family meeting...?"

The concept of a formal 'family meeting' being a cudgel capable of producing this much dread was absolutely alien to me -- it took me a few moments to mull the concept over in my head before I could really process it. My own father had occasionally called such family meetings... but they were always about news he had, either good or bad. The idea of a meeting regarding their collective behaviour, formalized to the point of evoking such fear in the girl in front of me...

I seriously never want to meet this guy. Terrifying.

At that moment, Yotsuba returned, and handed Itsuki back her phone.

"Sorry, Uesugi-san," she said grimly. "We need to go now. Our dad wants us home within the next hour. He sounds really mad."

"Oh... ok," I said, my eyes widened. Part of me was worried for Yotsuba's sake, though I knew she'd probably be fine. Another part of me, a small, cowardly part, was grateful that I would be nowhere near that apartment during the coming meeting. "I guess... good luck?"

Yotsuba snorted. "Thanks, Uesugi-san."

"Look, I don't know what the right thing to say here is. Good luck? Kick ass? Fare thee well? Survive?"

"How about 'all of the above'?" Yotsuba questioned. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyways, Itsuki, Ebata-san will be here in five minutes with the car. We need to be outside."

"Eh?! Wait, I'm not done my crepe ye-- ugh, fine."

Yotsuba waved down the waitress, and asked for our bill. The waitress quickly brought it, and I briefly saw a flash of a piece of paper with at least one extra digit compared to what I'd expected. Yotsuba pulled out a flashy credit card, and tapped it against the machine. The sleek black plastic left me distinctly uncomfortable, and I had an overwhelming feeling that the credit limit on that thing was several times higher than the yearly rent for our apartment -- but I didn't really have time to ponder those feelings. As the waitress thanked us for eating in the restaurant, a familiar black car of foreign make pulled up outside.

Then, like a tropical storm sweeping across an island and then back out to sea, Itsuki and Yotsuba swirled out the front door, and then they were gone.

"Bye, Uesugi-san! See you tomorrow!"

Just like that, I was alone, my sole companion the remnants of my crepe, the emptiness of the table sudden and disconcerting.

Shrugging, I returned to the radioactive sludge.

For another twenty minutes, I stayed in the crepe shop, slowly savouring the free dessert. It wasn't often I was given the chance to be in a place like this... so I took full advantage of it. Finally, when I noticed the waitress beginning to give me side-eye, I elected to gracefully make my egress.

When I returned home, I opened the door to find that my sister was protesting loudly against the injustice of having to do homework, with my dad insisting that she sit and get it done. As soon as I walked in, my dad swung around and pointed at me dramatically.

"Fuutarou, give me some backup here! Raiha's gotta do her homework!"

"No! I don't wanna! I'm not doing my homework today!" she insisted, her arms crossed.

I just stared at her, then back at my father.

Sometimes I forget she's eleven...

"Raiha," I said, suddenly overcome with exhaustion, "you need to do your homework, or you're going to seriously regret it later."

"I don't wanna!"

"You have to."

Raiha pouted at me, but I just walked over and tousled her hair.

"Hey! Stop it, Onii-chan!"

I walked over to where my dad was sitting on the floor near the wall, and slid down next to him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?" he asked, eyeing me up.

"Thanks for not being terrifying."

"I... what? Uh... you're welcome?"

I just nodded my head wearily, and my dad shared a confused look with Raiha.

"Onii-chan, what's going on with you?"

I leaned back, pressing further against the wall. "I'll tell you... if you do your homework."

"Unfair! That's blackmail, Onii-chan! Blackmail!"

I whistled innocently, and Raiha scowled at me.

"Fine. I'll do it. It had better be worth it, though!"

"Good," I smiled.

Raiha begrudgingly did her homework, which only took her about half an hour. When she was done, I told her all about my crepe... excursion, and also the trouble the quints had found themselves in. When I had finished, Raiha flopped on the tatami mat, and stared up at the ceiling.

"Hey, dad?" she said.

"Uh... yes?"

"Thanks for not being terrifying."

"You're welcome, I guess," he said, chuckling and shaking his head. "Their dad is that scary, huh? Guess you'll be cleaning up the mess tomorrow, kid."

"Well, maybe. Yotsuba passed four out of five exams; I suspect she's probably in the least amount of trouble."

My father raised an eyebrow. "You don't have any messes to clean up from the rest of them?"

I frowned at that. Somehow, in my head, I had partitioned my experiencing of the fallout to just Yotsuba and Itsuki.

"I guess... maybe? Itsuki's probably fine since she didn't skip any sessions, and I'm not as close with the other three, so I'm probably safe."

My dad shrugged. "If you say so, kid. Messes have a tendency to be messy."

There was something deeply unsettling about the way he said that, and even later that evening when we had put the table away and retreated to our respective futons, I found myself staring at the ceiling, trying to puzzle out what exactly he had been trying to imply. Try as I might, however, I couldn't put the pieces together.

The next morning, I arrived at school after being gently patted on the arm by Raiha and being wished luck -- a gesture which bewildered me. I, after all, wasn't the one who had been forced to face the terror that was Papa Nakano. I arrived at the gate a few minutes before the quintuplets, and it was as I was changing my footwear that they came through the front door.

I glanced over at them... then I took a double-take.

Itsuki and Yotsuba seemed alright, though they appeared tired. The other three, however, were in various stages of nervous breakdown. Miku in particular looked absolutely fried, though whether that was due to the 'family meeting' the night before or something else, I wasn't totally sure. As she walked by me, her eyes seemed almost glazed, and she didn't even seem to notice me.

She always seemed a little spacey... but this is extreme.

I lingered by the lockers until they'd all dispersed, and then hurried to catch up to Itsuki as she was striding down the hall.

"Hey, Itsuki. Good morning."

"Ah, Uesugi-kun," she said, stifling a yawn. "Good morning."

"So..."

"So?"

"...Damage report?"

Itsuki snorted. "Damage report is right. Well, as you probably anticipated... he was pretty mad. The thing about our father is, when he's angry, he's quiet. He doesn't rage or yell: he's completely silent. It's terrifying."

I shivered, visualizing it -- not that I'd ever seen the man's face.

"Anyways, he told Ichika, Nino, and Miku that if they skipped a single one of Takeda-san's sessions going forward, they would be banned from going on the school camping trip, and would instead be spending that weekend volunteering to pick up trash from alongside the river with members of the community."

"Huh, I guess he's pretty serious about that punishment..."

Then, I paused, my brain finally processing her words.

"Wait, Second Place-san still has his job?!"

Itsuki shrugged. "Apparently so. He told me that he's going to give Takeda-san a serious talking to about his pedagogy and his attitude -- but that given he'd only had slightly over two weeks to operate, and three-fifths of us skipped his sessions, he said that it wasn't a fair evaluation period. That said, our father told Takeda-san that if any of us failed the finals for this semester, he would be fired."

"Sheesh," I said, shaking my head. "That's harsh. It'd probably be kinder to just fire him now."

"Hey!" Itsuki said indignantly. "We can definitely pass the finals!"

I raised an eyebrow. "With the level of tutoring that Second Place-san is providing?"

"Ah," Itsuki said, a suddenly smug look springing up on her face. "See, I said the exact same thing to my father -- and he told me that if the pedagogy didn't improve within the next couple of weeks, I should let him know... and earlier steps could be taken."

"I see, I see," I said, nodding. "Crafty. So if he's a crappy tutor, you can get him fired early."

"Exactl-- wait, when you put it like that, it makes me feel like I'm being manipulative somehow."

"No, no, not at all -- your academic success is more important than his ego."

"I... guess that's true," Itsuki said, frowning slightly. "Either way, we'll see what will happen. Miku in particular is distraught -- she was apparently really looking forward to the school trip."

"Well, she can easily still go," I said, shrugging. "She just needs to not skip the sessions."

"You say that like spending four hours straight with Takeda-san is a trivial matter," Itsuki said drily. "I assure you, it is not."

"Was skipping really worth all this, though? I get that he's insufferable... but if she wants to go on the trip, sacrifices must be made. Though, to be frank, the fact that Miku refused to go at all always surprised me a little."

"Me too. Apparently it was a 'matter of principle' for her, whatever that means."

"I... see?" I said as we stepped into our classroom. "Wait, sorry, that was a lie -- I don't see at all."

Itsuki shrugged, retreating to her desk. "You'll need to ask her about it yourself."

I frowned. "It's way easier to just hound you, though."

"Shockingly, I don't always have all the answers, Uesugi-kun!"

"Well, rats," I said, sitting down at my desk. "There go my reconnaissance plans."

The teacher entered, and the day's lessons began. At lunch, Yotsuba ate lunch with her sisters, who appeared quite distraught -- especially Miku, who was more animated than I'd ever seen her. She seemed to be bemoaning something, presumably her new-found, self-inflicted situation. I returned to my studies -- while I had some sympathy, given my past encounters with her so-called 'tutor', I wasn't masochistic enough to go over and ask directly about her hangups -- especially with Nino beginning to enter what looked like a rant of her own.

I'd promised myself I wouldn't form a habit of getting yelled at by Nino, and damn it -- that was an oath I intended to keep.

As the afternoon session began, I found my attention flitting away, turning instead to speculating as to what Miku's motivations were. As I pondered, my eyes were drawn to the wildlife outside the window. I saw what I thought was a sparrowhawk swoop down with lightning speed, and then fly away again, some small creature or other ensnared in its talons. Its receding form faded into the distance, much akin to my focus in the lecture. The culprit was a combination of factors, I presumed -- my mastery of the material we were covering, my ongoing recovery from lack of sleep as caused by the previous two weeks of work, as well as the frankly monotone speech of our teacher. The man's pitch hardly wavered from a middle A -- it was almost impressive.

Almost.

At some point, the class representatives came up to the front of the room to talk about something, but given their chatter was usually as inane as the teacher's lecture had been monotonous, I hardly registered the transfer. My hands continued to write down the words being said, but my mind was elsewhere. The weather was slowly changing as we transitioned out of October and towards November. Leaves littered the ground like little patches of fire on the asphalt, and overhead, the last straggling birds were migrating south, including, presumably, the rogue sparrowhawk. Despite that, it was surprisingly warm that day -- approaching twenty degrees centigrade, perhaps.

"Alright, with Uesugi-san having been assigned a job, I think that's all of us spoken for!"

My head snapped back around to look at the front of the room.

"Huh?"

Immediately, I focused in on the chalkboard. It appeared as though tasks had been assigned for during the school trip. Hurriedly scanning the list, I saw with growing horror that I'd been assigned to the 'Test of Courage', a task which would invariably require a considerable amount of planning.

There was no other name there -- I'd have to do the whole thing myself.

Damn that bird!

"Hang on," I protested. "Wait, wait, wait. I never agreed to this!"

"Eh? Uesugi-san, when we asked you if you were ok to do it, you grunted -- wasn't that a yes?"

"Wait, what -- did I do that?"

I turned in my seat to look at Itsuki. She nodded her confirmation. I turned back around, betrayed. I glanced down at my paper, and saw, in my own handwriting, 'I'll plan the test of courage'.

Damn my unconscious note-taking skills!

"Can't I at least have some help? Making me do the whole thing by myself is a bit much, don't you think?"

"Everybody else already has their jobs though..."

The girl class rep turned back to look at the board... then turned back around, and shrugged her shoulders.

"Sorry, Uesugi-san. Maybe you can ask someone to volunteer?"

I scowled. Like anybody in this class besides Itsuki would possibly volunteer to help me.

Glancing over the board for her name, I saw that Itsuki had been assigned to cooking duty. My scowl deepened -- there was about a snowball's chance in hell that she would give that up to help me plan and execute a test of courage.

Damn it! Great. I'm screwed.

I slumped back in my seat, defeated by the spectre of soliciting support and invariably being rejected. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, and I was thoroughly depressed by the time the day ended. Nevertheless, ideas for the test of courage were beginning to slowly flow through my head, unwillingly progressing with the blinding speed of frozen molasses.

As the bell rang, I loaded up my bags, and departed the classroom, deep in a funk. My head lost in the mechanics of planning a stupid test of courage, I rounded a corner on my way to the library to suddenly find a completely empty hallway. It took a moment for any thought to register, but then I slowly began to frown.

Huh, that's a bit odd at this time of da--

Suddenly, from around the corner at the far end of the hall swung a figure full-clad in camouflage slacks and shirt. On their face was a pair of aviator sunglasses, and swinging from their neck was a pair of dog-tags. In each of their hands was one of what appeared to be some kind of rifle; perhaps an AK-47, though I was hardly an expert on guns.

They looked for all the world like a stereotypical American commando... if commandos usually wore large green ribbons instead of helmets.

The commando swung the guns up to point directly at me, and charged down the hallway full-tilt.

"Eh, wait, what--"

She tore down the hall at a blistering speed, then threw herself into a roll, shooting right past me. I swung around to follow her, only to find her quickly rising to her feet and pressing one of the guns into my back, arresting my turn in its tracks.

"Hands over your head."

I immediately complied, raising my hands above my head.

"Alright, buster, into the classroom with you," a low voice said behind me. I could feel both guns pressing into the small of my back now. "You know what a POW is?"

"Uh... yes?" I said. The gun pressed harder against my spine.

"Well, you are one now. Get yer ass in there! Chop chop!"

I raised my hands further above my head. I walked over the door, and then frowned.

"Uh... how am I supposed to open the door without my hands?"

"Oh, shoot, didn't think of that!" my assailant said, briefly breaking character. "Um... ok, you can open it. Quickly, though!"

I rolled my eyes, lowered my hands, opened the door, raised them again, and walked in. My attacker walked in behind me, and closed the door behind her.

"Alright, sit yer ass down."

I went and sat, and then turned to see the gunner posing with her weapons.

"Best not move, or things'll get violent all up in here!"

I just raised an eyebrow.

"So... why have I been abducted?"

She sauntered over to me, pulled a chair out from a different desk, and swung it around to sit on it backwards.

"I've brought you here for one reason, and one reason only, punk."

Ah, hell. I'll play along.

"Is that so? Well, too bad. I'm never spilling my secrets, scumbag," I spat. "You'll get only two things out of me -- my name, and unit number. Uesugi Fuutarou, 1438. Go to hell."

She aimed the gun at me.

"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I don't wanna have to shoot you."

"Do it. I friggin' dare you. Do it! Go ahead and shoot me," I growled, leaning forward and pressing my forehead to the muzzle. "Make my day."

"You asked for it, kid," Yotsuba said, her ribbon waving. Then, she pulled the trigger at point blank range.

A small stream of water sprayed out, splashing down into my eyes.

"Oh-- Oh geez, sorry Uesugi-san!" she said, panicking and taking off the sunglasses. "I didn't realize these still had water in them!"

"Oh, god, my eyes!" I reeled, slightly playing it up -- though it really did sting. I didn't want to think about how long the water had been in there. "You fiend! You villain! This is a violation of the Geneva convention!"

"Eh?" Yotsuba blinked. "Uh, I mean -- muahaha! You fool, you should have talked when you had the chance! This is what a punk-ass kid like you deserves!"

Then, she handed me a handkerchief, and I gratefully wiped the dust-water out of my eyes.

"So," I said. "Why have I actually been abducted?"

"Oh, that's easy!" Yotsuba said brightly. "We're gonna plan all the fun things we're going to do during the camping trip!"

"Ah. I see."

A moment of silence.

"And... why the guns?"

"For the drama , Uesugi-san! The drama!"

I nodded. "I can appreciate that. Though, to be totally honest with you... I'm still not entirely convinced that I want to come to this thing. My class saddled me with solo responsibility of the test of courage, and I've never been to a single one of these before now. I have no idea what's involved. That said... since my classmates and I have a pretty strong mutual antipathy, I highly doubt I would enjoy spending time with them. So, I--"

"Vetoed."

"Eh?"

"Vetoed. You're definitely, positively, 100% coming!"

"Oh. Well, I guess that settles that then," I said. Then, I shook my head. "So why am I definitely, positively, 100% coming?"

"It's really important to me that you make as many fun memories as possible, Uesugi-san! I'm not letting you let this opportunity pass you by! We're going to grab this trip by the horns, and have the best time ever!"

I mulled that over for a moment. Do trips have horns?

"I suppose I... could take a bit of a break from studying to go on this trip. Begrudgingly. Since I'm literally being forced at gunpoint, after all."

"Yeah, you are!" Yotsuba cheered. "So you have to go, or I'm gonna shoot you again!"

I glanced down at my uniform. "I don't really feel like going home to change, so I suppose I have to comply."

Yotsuba grinned, and I could feel my weariness melt away like butter on a skillet.

"So," I asked, "what are we going to be doing, o' memory-making-meister?"

"Shi shi shi," Yotsuba said, rubbing her finger under her nose smugly. "I thought you'd never ask!"

She opened her bag, and whipped out a pile of papers. My eyes widened -- the pile was almost as thick as one of the binders I'd made her while we were studying for the midterms. I was certain I could see leaflets, notes on wildlife in the area... and something about a bear? A ghost bear?

When on earth did she have time to put this together? I was with her all the time before the midterms... this must have all been since then.

I shook my head at her sheer determination.

"Alright, so, on day one..."

We spent the next forty-five minutes hammering out a plan. The first day was simply arrival and set up, so we planned to meet after that was done and play cards in a common room sometime before light's out. The next day was the start of planned activities, and so we needed to plan things around the officially mandated events -- including my solo test of courage operation. Our list began to grow and grow, and soon I was beginning to worry that there wouldn't be a single moment not spent doing some activity or other.

Nevertheless... the planning itself was fun. Yotsuba's enthusiasm was highly infectious.

"Ooh, Uesugi-san, we should definitely go skiing on the last day!"

"Uh... that's the thing where you stick long wooden sticks to your feet and go down a hill at really high speeds, right?"

"Yeah!"

"I'll pass," I said, grimacing. "I've never tried to ski in my life -- I can guarantee you I'll injure myself, and probably at least three other people."

"Uesugi-san, are you saying that if we stick sticks to your legs, it'll turn into a mass casualty incident?"

"Yes," I said decisively.

"Gotcha," Yotsuba said, nodding. "Ok, I'm teaching you how to ski."

"Ok, now that that's out of the wa-- eh? Wait, I just said I'll hospitalize at least three people. Why are you--"

"That's why I'm gonna teach you, Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba said, grinning. "That way, you'll only hospitalize one person!"

"Myself?" I said drily.

"No, me! I'll take the fall for you, Uesugi-san. I've got your back! Anyways, lemme put that down on the list..."

An odd feeling swept over my chest, watching her write. I wasn't really sure what it was, but there was a part of me that was oddly resistive to the idea of skiing. The friction was unexpected... but I couldn't deny that it was there.

"Yotsuba, I'm actually really worried about this. I've never had the chance to do anything like skiing in my entire life before now."

She looked up from writing, and a concerned look crossed her face. Then, she smiled at me softly.

"There's really nothing to worry about, Uesugi-san. I'll teach you everything you need to know. You spent so much time teaching me... please, let me teach you."

I held eye-contact with her for a moment, and then finally sighed. Her blue eyes, which had the look of a begging puppy, had defeated me with ease.

When did I get to be so easy? Damn it.

"Fine, but if I cause skiers to go scattering like bowling pins, I'm holding you responsible."

"Hehe, deal!"

As Yotsuba continued to write, the sickly feeling in my chest simply wouldn't dissipate. I tried to suppress it, but... it just refused to go away. I frowned, staring down at the table, my mind silently turning inwards. What was the source of the discomfort? Why was I--

I ground my teeth in frustration as I realized the answer.

Oh god damn it. I'm still hung up on the difference in our wealth.. like there's some part of me that still secretly believes that when she really finds out how poor we are, she'll reject me. Skiing is a 'rich person thing', something we could never afford to do. This is stupid. She doesn't care: get over yourself, Uesugi Fuutarou. How many times have we had this exact same anxiety ? Get out of your head, and--

"Hmm? Uesugi-san? What's wrong?"

I glanced up to see Yotsuba paused mid-page-flip.

"Nothing, I'm just caught up in my head. Don't worry about it. What else did you want to do?"

Yotsuba looked down at the half-flipped page, then looked back up at me. Her eyes narrowed.

"Hmmm, suspicious, Uesugi-san. Very suspicious."

"What is?"

"That look in your eye! I bet I know what you're thinking!"

My eyes widened, stunned. She couldn't possibly...

"You're thinking, 'Oh, there's no way Yotsuba's a good teacher, she's going to forget to teach me something basic like how to stop, and I'll cause a mass casualty incident leading to multiple manslaughter charges!' Don't think I can't tell, mister! I see it all in your eyes!"

I was momentarily rendered speechless by just how astronomically off the mark she was.

"I... wait, what? I hadn't even considered that you would forget to teach me how to stop -- but now I'm worried about it!"

"Hmph, don't be!" Yotsuba said, smugly. "When it comes to sports, I'm a teacher extraordinaire!"

"Oh, really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "So you're not one of those naturals who explains everything via sound effects?"

"Uesugi-san, I am shocked. Appalled. I would never do-- I would never... I would..."

Yotsuba trailed off, and then her eyes glazed over as she stared into the middle distance.

"...I would totally do that, wouldn't I?" she asked numbly.

"...Well, at least you're aware of it," I nodded affirmatively. "Hey, it's alright. All that means is that you can spend some time before the trip thinking about how to explain it to an unathletic nerd like myself. Assume that every time you make a sound effect, my understanding goes down by five percent."

Yotsuba scrunched up her face. "Geez, Uesugi-san, this is going to be harder than I thought."

Something about her face made me start chuckling, and after a moment she joined me. We spent about twenty minutes more making plans, and then Yotsuba's phone buzzed. She pulled it out, and her eyes widened.

"Oh shoot, Uesugi-san, I forgot that we have a session with Takeda-san today. I need to hurry home. Luckily, this one got delayed a bit -- but I gotta run! Our camping trip plans are at stake! Bye!"

She hurriedly packed up her things, and bolted out the door. I watched her go with bemusement, and then stared down at the camping guidebook that Yotsuba had given me. Slowly, I picked the thing up, and began to leaf through it.

If I'm going to go on this trip... I should make sure I'm fully prepared.

I spent the next thirty minutes reading through and marking up the book, taking note of any solo activities I would be interested in, as well as reading up on the activities Yotsuba had indicated she wanted to do together. Before I knew it, I had received my usual email from Raiha telling me to come home. Packing up my bags and heading down to the footlockers, I realized with a start that I hadn't gotten any studying at all done that day.

"Maybe I should treat this as its own kind of studying," I murmured to myself.

On my way down, I happened to pass by the board where the midterm grades were posted. Normally, I didn't bother to check it; with my perfect scores, I always knew I was number one, so there wasn't much point in looking. As I passed by, I glanced up, and my supremacy was confirmed. My gaze twitched down a spot, and then my eyes widened slightly, before my mouth curled into a smirk.

The number two student wasn't Takeda Yuusuke.

Second Place-san was, alas, Second Place-san no more.

Hello, Fourth Place-san. Perhaps you should have spent less time harassing people, and more time studying.

As I continued walking through the hallways, I happened to pass by the classroom in which Nino had made her refuge. Glancing inside, I was relieved to see that she wasn't there. While I had no desire to get yelled at again, I also hoped that this meant that she was actually attending the session with the former Second Place-san... and making him quiver in his boots.

Maybe I'm more vindictive than I thought... I mused to myself as I changed my footwear. The guy's a jerk, but I don't think even he deserves the full wrath of Nino... or at least, no more than once. Maybe twice.

Then, I grinned to myself.

Alright, fine, I'll allow thrice.

The next day, as I entered the classroom, I was surprised to see Itsuki looking quite chipper.

"You seem happy about something," I said as I swung by her desk. "What's up?"

"Oh, good morning, Uesugi-kun," she said, smiling up at me. "We just had a great session last night, and I'm feeling pretty good about it!"

"You... had a great session?" I asked, disbelievingly. "With who, Second Place-san's ghost?"

"Pretty much," Itsuki said, smirking slightly. "He was so shocked by the results of the midterms that he barely said a word the entire time he was there. It was the most productive tutoring session we've had to date."

"That's really sad," I said, frowning. "Which part in particular was he shocked about?"

"Take your pick. The fact we all failed almost every subject... the fact that he got an official reprimand from our father... the fact that he was told that we have the power to fire him if his pedagogy doesn't improve... the fact his own grades suffered with no apparent payoff..."

"Ah, I see -- so, as expected, Nino, Ichika, and Miku didn't do very well on the midterms."

"Miku did the best of the three," Itsuki said, frowning, "but she still failed everything except social studies. The other two essentially did the same. The only one who didn't fail almost everything was Yotsuba -- but of course, you know that already."

"How did Second Place-san take that, by the way?"

"Guess," Itsuki smiled up at me.

"Uh... was he furious?"

"Bzzzt. Try again."

"Hmm. Did he accuse her of cheating?"

"Shockingly, bzzzt! Incorrect. Try one last time."

I threw my hands up in a plea for mercy. "Itsuki, I have absolutely no idea. As far as I was aware, those were his only two modi operandi. I don't know, did he honestly congratulate her, and vow to do better in the future?"

Itsuki snorted. "No, of course not. Oh, wait, right -- bzzzt! He simply refused to mention it: he just seemed to go catatonic every time it was brought up, staring into the distance as though his entire life's plan had shattered before his eyes. It was kind of pathetic, to be frank."

"Hmm," I mused. "That's interesting. Maybe there's an opportunity here."

"An opportunity?"

"If he's taking it that harshly, maybe you can strike while the iron's hot. He'd reached the position he had for a reason -- maybe, hidden under the layers of slime, there's a real tutor in there. If you chip away at the shell, maybe you'll strike gold?"

Itsuki gave me a skeptical look. "I mean, I can give it a shot... but I don't know about that, Uesugi-kun. Also, you're kind of mixing your metaphors there."

"Eh? I never mix my metaphors. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"No, you did -- you can't chip away at slime."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I repeated, walking away.

"You did! You definitely did! Argh, don't gaslight me, Uesugi-kun!"

Chuckling, I sat down at my desk. The teacher soon entered, and the lecture began. Bombarded with the dulcet tones of chalk on porcelain enamel, my eyes wandered to the top-right corner of the blackboard, where the list of jobs for the trip was sequestered in a white box. My name, alone next to the test of courage, reignited my sense of indignation, and I scowled around at my classmates, who were in various stages of attentiveness.

Well... if I'm definitely, positively, 100% going to be going on this trip... I'd better do it right.

I stretched my hands out in front of me, cracking my knuckles.

I'm going to scare the absolute hell out of these cretins. They won't know what hit 'em.

Then, I paused, as an idea finally struck me. In hindsight, it was so painfully obvious, I wasn't sure why it had taken me an entire day to think of it. I didn't have to do everything entirely alone -- there was someone I could ask for help planning the test of courage.

I'm an idiot. Of course she'll help.

Whipping out my phone under the desk, I shot an email to Yotsuba.

Time to call in the cavalry.

Notes:

Hey everyone! I've been (rightly) chastised for totally forgetting to let you all know, so I'll take this opportunity to advertise -- I have a second fic that I've started working on, titled "Four Drowned Leaves". It's an isekai that takes place during the final school festival, and it's a Fuu/Yots fic. It's much darker than "How We Met Again", and has an "M" rating on FF.N and an "E" rating on AO3. The ratings are mostly for violence and gore, though there may be some smut added as well later on. If that sort of thing strikes your fancy, feel free to check it out! If it doesn't, that's ok too!

Regardless, this fic is still my main priority, and the other will only be updating infrequently. I hope you enjoyed the chapter -- thanks for reading!

Chapter 21: Departure!

Chapter 21
Departure!

The morning of the school camping trip, I woke up long before the crack of dawn, darkness still filling the narrow confines of our apartment. The wavy dappled pattern of the trees' shadows, cast through the window by the light of the few passing cars and the fluorescent glow of the streetlamps illuminating the night outside, swayed on the ceiling as the trees gently swayed in turn in the wind.

Try as I might, sleep eluded me, and it was with a frustrated sigh that I resigned myself to the bittersweet reality of consciousness.

In lieu of laying in bed for hours in pursuit of a hopeless task, I rose from my futon, careful to be as silent as possible so as to not wake my family members. Tiptoeing my way to the suitcase my father had taken to Tokyo weeks earlier, I unzipped it and inspected the contents, checking one last time that all of my necessities had been packed.

Toiletries? Check.

Cards? Check.

The new clothes my father had dragged me along to buy, thanks to his increased paycheque?

Much to my chagrin, check.

A few days prior, my father had forced me to go buy several new sets of clothes due to his insistence that it was, in some way, improper to wear the school uniform on a school camping trip. I had no idea what the hell the issue was, and I was extremely opposed to spending money on such frivolities -- but he had fervently insisted, and I'd had no choice. Raiha had come along as our resident fashionista, and I'd found myself decked out in black jeans, a navy blue buttoned shirt, and a fashionable (according to my sister) light-brown jacket with a faux-fur hood -- my "uniform" for the first day. While my father had originally insisted on buying more than just the three sets of clothes, I'd put my foot down at that number.

I had limits to what I would allow, after all.

Having convinced myself that everything I wanted to bring was indeed in the suitcase, I lay down on the tatami mats and stared at the ceiling, my arms crossed across my chest. The dappled shadows of the trees on the ceiling were fading as the amount of light coming through the small window gently increased, the pre-dawn haze diffusing the small amount of light beginning to refract over the horizon.

Restless, and not wanting to wake up my family members, I spontaneously decided to go for a walk.

Writing a quick note and pinning it to the fridge, I got dressed, threw on my new jacket and slipped out the front door. The cool November breeze made me shiver, though thankfully the coat kept most of the wind off. With the light strengthening by the minute, I began to wander, hoping that the gentle exercise would exorcise the nerves building up in my chest over the coming three days. I hadn't been on a school trip since... since...

A car whizzed by, startling me. I looked around, and realized that I had wandered off in a completely random direction. While I had a vague idea of where I was, I had no memory of actually walking there.

"Odd," I murmured to myself.

I continued to walk, my brain entirely uninvolved with the task of determining a final destination. My legs simply operated on autopilot. Eventually, I ascended a small hill, and found myself at a small park. With a jolt, I recognized it as the one to which I had wandered months prior, on a cool morning when I had similarly found myself suffering from insomnia.

I crossed the street, and went to sit on the swings. The sun was still not quite over the horizon to the east, and the silence with which I had so heavily identified on that day permeated the park, broken only occasionally by the sound of a car driving by.

Gently, I dug my heels into the soft dirt beneath my feet, and pushed backwards as far as I could. I slowly rose, and rose, and rose, until I was standing on the very tips of my toes. There was a brief moment when my muscles screamed, aching for release, and the connection between myself and the seat was merely a formality, bound only by tension rather than gravity.

Then, I leapt, and swung forward. Using the initial drop, I straightened my back, and began to pump my legs. Building up angular momentum, eventually I was flying, swinging back and forth and using all of my effort just to keep the steel chains going. The g-forces on my head as I rocked back and forth, while certainly not extreme, cause some measure of vertigo whenever my head leaned back too far, blood rushing up my neck and into my brain. Sweat dripped down my forehead as I fought desperately against gravity and friction to keep myself going.

Then, finally, as I reached the peak of my swing and let go of the chains, the sun broke to the east.

I flew through the air, and landed on my feet in the soft dirt. The seat I was on, suddenly devoid of the mass that had been holding it at its maximum extension, fell back towards the earth, the chains forming small coils in the air. I turned back around to see it swing high up again, and then curl back in on itself once more and fall directly downwards -- before slamming into the potential barrier that was the maximum extent of the chains, and violently bounce around before coming to a standstill.

Another bead of sweat rolled down my face, and I wiped it off hastily. Leaving the swing behind, I turned back around, and walked over to the edge of the park, leaning over a railing and overlooking the town below. With the sun having risen, I could see the houses much more clearly, and the people slowly beginning to stir amongst them. The silence, once broken by the creaking of the chains and my pants of exertion, had returned in force.

Only then did it occur to me that the flavour had changed.

As I gazed out over the silent homes, the distinct taste of loneliness that had permeated the early morning silence, the one which I'd contrasted with my own isolation, was gone. Well... perhaps "gone" was too strong of a word. It was still present, but its profile had changed. The flavour had deepened, and loneliness alone was no longer the word to describe it. With its complex layers, maybe a single word just wasn't enough anymore.

Or maybe... maybe t he silence isn't what changed. Maybe I did. Maybe I still am.

What I was changing into, however, I didn't yet know. All I knew was that change had occurred, and would almost certainly continue to occur. Feeling vaguely disturbed at this revelation, I pushed away from the railing, began to make my way out of the park, and slowly began the return home.

About five minutes later, as I was waiting to cross the road at an intersection, I saw a girl in a red tracksuit run up to the other side of the crosswalk. She was jogging in place, presumably to keep up her circulation -- and then when the light changed, she looked right and left, and crossed the street at a brisk pace. She charged right past me, as I hadn't moved a muscle since I'd spotted her.

"Yotsuba?"

She turned back around, taking an earbud out of her ear, a confused look on her face -- and then reeled back in surprise.

"Eh?! Uesugi-san? I didn't recognize you! You're... you're not in the school uniform!"

"Seriously? You don't recognize me by my face?" I asked, slightly wounded.

She shook her head. "It's not that, I just wasn't expecting to see you here, especially this early in the morning!"

"Ah, well, I wasn't expecting to run into you either," I said mildly.

Come to think of it, I have no room to talk about not recognizing people by their faces...

"Why are you over near my house, by the way?" she asked, still jogging in place. "We're pretty far from your place, aren't we?"

I frowned. "Are we that near to your apartment? I just got up to go for an early-morning walk, and I only walked for about half an hour, I think. I'm pretty sure your place is further than that, right?"

Yotsuba frowned in turn, and then looked around her to get her bearings. "Huh, actually, I think I may have been the one to go further than I thought... Uesugi-san, where are we?!"

I shrugged. "I have no idea, I just wandered. I vaguely know how to get back to my place from here, but yours? No clue."

Yotsuba pulled out her phone, loaded up an app, and scrutinized it. Then, she groaned, and slapped her forehead.

"Ah, I made a wrong turn five blocks back! Shoot, that explains why I don't recognize anything. I thought I'd try a new route today..."

"What are you doing anyways?" I asked curiously. "Jogging?"

"Yeah! I go for a run every morning!" she said brightly. "I used to be on the track team, and while I haven't done it in high school, I try to keep my running form up! Just in case, you know?"

"That's commendable," I said, nodding. "This is your form of studying, huh?"

"Hehehe, that's ri-- wait, no, studying is studying, and running is running! I can do both, Uesugi-san!"

"I see, I see," I said, putting my hand on my chin. "Can you run and study at the same time?"

"Probably!"

"Very impressive, Yotsuba-sensei," I said, bowing my head deeply.

"Oh, I know! Uesugi-san, would you like to start running with me? It's really fun!"

"Thanks, but I would probably die a horrible, lactic acid-induced death," I said deadpan. "Also, running consumes glucose which I could better use for studying."

"Eh?! What kind of reasons are those?"

"To summarize: I'm very unathletic and definitely can't keep up with you, which would just inconvenience you. So I'll decline. Thanks for the offer though."

"Oh... ok," Yotsuba said, wilting slightly. I immediately felt bad, but my avoidance of running was probably best for all parties involved.

"We can always have fun in other ways," I shrugged, hoping to cheer her up. "We're leaving later this morning after all, so let's make sure to have a great time on the trip!"

My gambit worked, as Yotsuba's face immediately lit up. "Ah, that's right! I gotta go home and finish getting ready! See you later, Uesugi-san!"

With a shout, Yotsuba turned around and ran back across the street the way she'd come. She paused on the other side, and then waved at me.

"You're going to make so many great memories, Uesugi-san -- I guarantee it!"

"Sure, sure," I called, waving back. "You'd better make some too, though."

Yotsuba grinned, then ran off, leaving me to idly cross the street at my own pace. I slowly made my own way along the various roads, vaguely moseying in the direction of my family apartment. Finally, I once again began to see streets that I recognized, and from there was able to navigate my way back home. The street traffic was picking up as I made my way back, and by the time I walked in the door, rush hour had begun.

"Onii-chan, welcome back! I'm making breakfast, so go sit down!"

"Wow, I always have sublime timing," I said drily, taking off my coat and placing it over the suitcase. "How is it that I always walk in just as you're making breakfast?"

"Two times isn't always, Onii-chan."

"Hmm, good point. Two data points isn't nearly a large enough sample size," I mused. "I guess I'll just need to do this more often."

"Do as you want," Raiha shrugged. "As long as you don't wake uuuuuoh no no no the eggs are burning! Onii-chaaaaaaaaaaan!"

"Not my fault," I said quickly, sitting down next to the suitcase.

"Dang it, Onii-chan, I was working so hard on those! You distracted me!"

"Sorry, sorry," I said, making an apologetic motion with my hands. "Do you want me to wake up dad?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Raiha said, grumpily. "You made me burn stuff last time you came back from an early-morning walk too..."

"Hey," I frowned. "Two data points isn't nearly a large enough sample size. You said so too."

"Just wake up dad, please."

I shook my father awake, and before long we were all eating Raiha's food. The eggs had been salvageable, and if anything, they just had a slight smoky flavour; I certainly wasn't complaining. After I'd finished my breakfast, I checked my suitcase one last time, and then got ready to leave for school -- not that there would be any classes.

"Wait, Onii-chan!" Raiha called right before I left. "I have something for you!"

I raised an eyebrow. "What's up? I need to go soon."

"I made you a charm -- here you go!"

Raiha handed me a bracelet made from a series of different woven fabrics. There were different shades of blue mixed in, as well as a few honest-to-god charms.

"It's for your safety during the trip -- all sorts of things could happen!" Raiha said, genuine worry in her voice. "I wanted to protect you!"

A smile crossed my face, and I pulled my little sister into a deep hug, warmth spreading throughout my chest.

"Thanks, Raiha," I said softly. "That means a lot to me."

She smiled and cuddled up against me, which was adorable. When I let go, she suddenly started.

"Ahhhh, I almost forgot! I made one for Yotsuba-nee-chan as well!"

"Oh?"

Raiha pulled a second bracelet out of her bag and handed it to me. It was quite similar to the one she'd handed me, save for a few crucial differences. First of all, it was mostly green instead of blue. Secondly, the charms were all four-leaf clovers. Finally, she had put some beads on it which read "Nakano Yotsuba" in hiragana.

"Make sure you give it to her properly!" Raiha said fiercely.

"Don't worry," I smiled. "I'll make sure she gets it."

"Good!"

I then turned to my dad, who spontaneously embraced me in an extremely tight bear hug.

"Have a great time over there, kid," he said gruffly. "Make sure you make tons of great memories."

"Dad," I wheezed, "I can't breathe..."

"Oh, whoops," he said, releasing the pressure slightly. "My bad."

"Geez," I said, pulling back slightly. "You sound like Yotsuba."

"Good. She sounds like a good kid."

"She is," I half-smiled. "Anyways, I need to go, or I'll be late."

"Have fun, Onii-chan!" Raiha called one last time as I left the door, suitcase in tow. I waved, and then I closed the door behind me. The journey to school was a little slower than usual due to the suitcase, but I arrived with plenty of time to spare before the scheduled departure time. I made my way over to the large buses that were sitting outside the school gates, and took a moment to marvel at them.

I'd never gotten the chance to ride on such a thing before. As I was looking around the front and side, our teacher came out of the front door of the school, spotted me, and wandered over.

"Ah, Uesugi, you're early," he said mildly. "Would you like to put your suitcase in the bus?"

"Oh," I said, frowning. "In the bus? Don't I just take it on the bus with me?"

"No, no, think how much room that would waste!" he scoffed. "Suitcases go in the bus, not on the bus."

"I... see," I said carefully. There's so much I have yet to learn about mass transit.

"I'll get the driver to open up the hold for you."

The teacher walked off to talk to an older man who was smoking near the door, who nodded multiple times, put out the cigarette, and then walked over to me. He threw open a gullwing door on the side of the bus, and tossed in my suitcase, sliding it along the metal bottom of the cavity. He slid the door shut again, and then wandered back over to the front of the bus.

"Huh..." I said, staring at the spot where my suitcase had once been. "That's certainly convenient."

"Indeed," the teacher said smugly. "Anyways, I recommend getting on now, unless of course there was someone specific you wanted to ride with. It's a surefire way to get the best seats. I personally recommend sitting on the left-hand side of the bus; the right-hand side walking in."

"Ah, I am planning to ride with someone," I said, bowing my head. "Thank you for the advice though."

The teacher appraised me, and I suddenly felt marginally uncomfortable.

"Is that so?" he said finally. "I see, I see. Well, don't let me interfere with that!"

Then, for some reason, he laughed and wandered off, leaving me quite confused.

I hung out by the gates for about twenty minutes, and gradually more and more students arrived, loading their suitcases into the various buses. Eventually, I saw the quintuplets arrive, and Yotsuba spotted me. Bounding over, she grabbed my hands excitedly.

"Ahhh, it's here, Uesugi-san! It's finally time!"

"Yes," I said, laughing slightly as she pumped my hands up and down. "So it is. Shall we get on the bus?"

"Yeah! Oh, wait, we have to get our bags sorted."

It was only then that I noticed that each of the quints had brought along a large suitcase, with each being around twice the size of my own stowed-away bag. I raised an eyebrow slightly -- it seemed distinctly like overkill for only three days' worth of camping. As the driver helped load the suitcases into the belly of the bus, a small part of me was glad that my suitcase was already hidden from sight, so that there would be no need for comparison.

The second the suitcases were put away, Nino immediately left to go sit with some of her friends. The rest of us, however, decided to board one of the buses together, and grab some of the seats near the back, which were apparently arranged in groups of four with a small table in between; perfect for playing cards. However, given there were five of us, naturally one person would be left out -- an unforeseen obstacle.

I had, frankly, expected it to be me, but after Yotsuba and Itsuki had already sat down, Miku decisively sat in the group of seats across the aisle. I frowned, but then shrugged, and sat down next to Yotsuba in the aisle seat, with Ichika slipping into the seat across from me to round out the set.

Miku slipped on her headphones almost immediately, and started tapping away on her phone screen. I glanced over at her, and the frown on my face deepened. While Miku often seemed distant, this was anti-social even for her.

Weird.

"Hey, Uesugi-san! Did you properly read the handbook I gave you?!" Yotsuba asked, poking me in the upper arm.

"Who do you think I am?" I sniffed, turning back to face her. "Of course I did."

"Oh reeeeeally?" Yotsuba said, stroking her chin. "Well then, tell me this, good sir -- what was on page thirty-four?!"

"The dangers of leaving food outside, and why you should always put it up a tree when camping."

"Eh? Wait, really?"

"Don't ask a pop quiz question you don't know the answer to," I sighed, scratching my head. "Speaking of which, the tips in the guide were kind of pointless, weren't they? We're sleeping inside, not in tents."

"Indeed," Itsuki said from the other side of the table. "Why do we need to know the best ways to catch fish if we're making food from grocery-store purchased ingredients?"

"Now, now," Ichika said, yawning. "It's still good information to-- ahh, excuse me. It's still good information to have. What if one day you crash-land in the middle of the forest and have to survive on berries and nuts?"

"I would die," Itsuki and I both said confidently at the exact same moment. Then, we turned to look at each other.

'You would definitely die, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki scoffed. "Probably even faster than me."

"That's almost certainly true," I acknowledged. "I think we've already determined that you have a narrow athletic edge over me."

Plus you have slightly more... energy reserves than me.

I kept the second thought to myself as Itsuki got a smug look on her face.

"Yes, I do seem to recall dominating you at badminton."

My eye twitched. "Wait, what? You call a final score of eleven to nine 'domination'? That's ludicrous."

"Trivialities," Itsuki smirked. "I still won."

"Sure, but that's hardly domination! I still have my pride, damn it!"

"Just take the loss!"

"I did take the loss, but I refuse to let you say I was dominated!" I growled, irritation flaring in my chest. "I fought you practically to a standstill!"

"I'll say whatever I want to say! Besides, you--"

The bus lurched forward with a start, and then slowly began to pull away from the spot it had been parked for the last hour and a half. Yotsuba patted my arm nervously.

"Guys, come on, let's tone it down," she said, smiling somewhat uncomfortably. "We're going on a camping trip! Camping! It's gonna be fun, let's start it off on the right note."

Itsuki and I both looked at each other, looked at Yotsuba, and then back at each other.

"She's right," Itsuki said, a resigned look crossing her face. "This is a stupid thing to fight about. Besides, that badminton match was almost two months ago. Who knows who would win now?"

"True," I shrugged. "Also, we both know that you almost needed an ambulance after that bout."

"God damn it, Uesugi-kun! Why do you always do this?! I was trying to--"

I started laughing, and after a moment of silence, Itsuki rolled her eyes and shook her head -- but I could see her irritation breaking into a small smile.

"Seriously? Does winding me up really give you that much pleasure?"

"It depends -- but usually, yes," I said decisively. "Also, you started it this time, you know."

"I-- ugh, I guess that's true."

Yotsuba looked back and forth between us, the worried look not entirely gone, but she seemed more relaxed as she sensed that neither of us was actually angry anymore.

"Do... do you guys wanna play cards?" she asked, pulling out a pack from a backpack that she'd brought on board -- something I regretted not doing, my own pack of cards buried in the ravenous guts of the bus.

"Sure," I said. "You in, Itsuki?"

"I suppose. We may as well -- it's a fairly long trip."

"Ichika?" Yotsuba asked. "Do you want to join?"

"In a bit," she replied, closing her eyes. "Big sis wants to get a bit more sleep. I don't like being awake this early when I don't have to be."

"Suit yourself," I said, shrugging, and then the three of us began to play. The game was frankly a bit boring, though -- the only quint I'd ever had any trouble beating in card games up to that point was the girl sleeping across the table from me. Constantly cleaning up was no fun, despite the pleasure I occasionally derived from the frustration on Itsuki's face. Whenever I crushed Yotsuba, I just felt a bit bad.

"Ugh, Uesugi-san, you're too good!" Yotsuba complained about an hour into the bus ride.

"Maybe we should play a different game then," I said, raising my eyebrow. "Do you know any I don't? That way, you'll have home-field advantage."

"Hmm," Itsuki said thoughtfully. "Well, there is this one game I learned, I guess..."

At that moment, Ichika stretched her arms high above her head, yawned, and opened one eye.

"Good morning," she said sleepily. "That was a good nap."

"Oh, Ichika!" Yotsuba said. "You should play with us now! Uesugi-san is kicking our butts!"

"Mmm, is that so?" she asked, opening the other eye. "Well, we can't have that, can we? You have to be gentle with a woman's behind, Fuutarou-kun."

"What the hell are you saying?" I asked, my face heating up ever-so-slightly.

"Oh, nothing," she said, a half-smile dancing across her face. She stretched a second time, and then the half-smile turned into a full smile. "Deal me in. I know how to handle rambunctious boys."

Well, that's not ominous at all!

With Ichika in the game, the rounds took on a markedly different tone -- I actually lost several times, and each round was a fight for my life. Itsuki and Yotsuba tried to compete... but almost every time, the battle came down to Ichika and I.

"Man, Ichika, you really do know how to handle rambunctious boys!" Yotsuba said cheerfully.

"What part of me is particularly rambunctious?" I asked drily.

"Well, that would be your-- uh-- uh, nevermind," Yotsuba said, suddenly glancing away from me.

I narrowed my eyes as I stared at her.

Suspicious. Very suspicious.

"Ah, well, I have experience," Ichika said loftily. "After all, I got asked to dance at the bonfire!"

There was a moment of deafening silence.

"I turned him down though, of course," Ichika said, suddenly a bit nervous. "I... I hardly know the guy."

"A-hem."

We all turned to look at the seat across the aisle, where Miku had put down her phone and taken off her headphones.

"Uh--"

"You mean I turned the guy down," she said pointedly. "Thanks for putting me in that situation by the way, Ichika."

"Hey," Ichika protested, "they told me it was a class thing -- how was I supposed to know that was a lie?!"

"Wait, hang on," I said, frowning and looking back and forth between them. "I know you two are similar, but how could you possibly pull that off? Surely someone confessing to you would be able to tell the difference, especially with your accessories."

Ichika and Miku exchanged a glance, and then Ichika looked back at me with a look which could only be described as positively devilish.

"Yotsuba," she said commandingly, "we're playing a quintuplets game. Cover his eyes!"

"Eh?! What are you--"

"Roger!"

My words were cut off as Yotsuba reached and pulled me over, covering my eyes with both her hands and plunging my world into darkness. Off-balance, I could feel myself pressing against her shoulder, and both of her hands were wrapped around my face, the soft skin of her palms resting against my upper cheekbones and my brow. With all visual information suddenly cut off, I found my sense of feeling slightly focused, every part of my body hyper-aware of her touch, my shoulder pressing against hers, my arm up against her side...

Calm down, Uesugi Fuutarou. Breathe. You have no need to fall prey to the whims of biology. Sort yourself out.

Despite my internal protestations, I could feel my face heating up, and my heart beginning to pound. I tried to take slightly deeper breaths, hoping that Yotsuba wouldn't notice my attempts to bring my heart rate down. The sensory deprivation imposed by her hands both made matters easier, and also far more difficult.

"Look, I can't join unless you do me," I heard a voice slightly to my right, presumably Itsuki's. "The hair length is a problem."

"Oh, good point -- ah, we should switch seats!"

There was the sound of shuffling, and the sound, vibrating through my entire body, of Yotsuba laughing softly. Then, I supposed that Ichika must have given her some sort of non-verbal signal, because she then spontaneously let go of me, allowing me to sit upright again in my chair.

"What the hell are you all playing a--"

My words died in my throat as my eyes took in the sight before me. Where once there had been Miku, Ichika, and Itsuki in order in the seats in front of me from left to right... there were now, in the exact same spots, three carbon copies of Itsuki. I heavily leaned back in my chair, making it creak as it pushed back all thoughts of the previous brief physical encounter with Yotsuba banished entirely from my head by what I was seeing.

"What-- what the hell is-- who-- which one is which?" I finished lamely. At that, Yotsuba burst fully into guffaws of laughter.

"It's a quintuplets game, Uesugi-san! Go ahead, try and guess who is who!"

"Sorry, hang on," I said, turning to Yotsuba, who thankfully was still distinctly not-Itsuki. "I need a minute to process this."

"What is there to process, Fuutarou-kun?" one of the Itsukis said, teasingly. "Are we blowing your mind that much?"

"Yes," I said, turning back around to face them. "Look, I've never seen three people turn into one person before. I'm a little overwhelmed here!"

"I see," the exact same Itsuki said, her face suddenly looking down and away from me. "I'm sorry we're frightening you... Fuutarou..."

I sighed. Obviously none of them would be dumb enough to just use their own respective way of referring to me without any trickery thrown in -- it wouldn't be a game otherwise.

Looking over the three identical girls in front of me, I felt a sudden sense of vertigo. How did I know that any particular quintuplet I'd spoken to at any given time in the past was, in fact, the one I'd thought it was? What if, some of the times I'd been studying with Yotsuba, it'd actually been one of her sisters? What if my memories of my time with her... weren't ones she shared as well? What if--

"If you're this convincing, how am I ever supposed to know who's who?!" I complained, deciding to voice my discomfort instead of just keeping it bottled up inside. "I'm sorry that my whole world has been kind of turned upside down here. If you can imitate each other this well, how do I know in general that the quint I'm talking to at any given time... is really the quint I think it is?"

The three Itsukis suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable.

"We-- We don't do this most of the time, Uesugi-kun!" the one on the far left said, flustered. "Only for games, or when we really need to!"

"Yeah, that's right, Fuutarou," the one on the far right said, a depressed look on her face. "We only swap out when we really need to... or when it's funny."

"Usually when it's funny," Yotsuba said beside me, chuckling slightly. I frowned, my deep feeling of discomfort not remotely assuaged.

"How do I even know--"

"Trust," Yotsuba said simply, thereby cutting me off. She reached over and grabbed my shoulder gently, the pressure of her hands conducting through my shirt even if the warmth didn't. "That's all there is. We've never swapped out around you before now. That's the truth, Uesugi-san."

I turned to look her in the eyes, searching the depths of the ocean blue, searching for truth. I found myself lost in their depths for a moment, before I shook my head, dispelling my temporary malaise. I'd found my answer. If there was one thing I could believe in... well, it was a simple truth, borne out of hours upon hours of simple observation.

Yotsuba can't lie worth a damn.

"Ok," I sighed. "I believe it. You have to admit, it's a bit disconcerting though!"

"I guess we're just so used to it, we don't think about it," she shrugged. "Anyways, guess, guess!"

"Fine," I sighed, turning back towards the three Itsukis. "I'll guess. Give me a moment to think."

I stared up at the ceiling for a moment to ponder. I'd heard shuffling sounds that resembled people getting up and moving around. However, it was possible that, after having done that, they'd returned to their original seats -- so that didn't really give me any information. I could somewhat go off of the way that each had addressed me... but the middle Itsuki had used both Ichika's and Miku's way of referring to me. This heavily implied that they were faking the way they were talking to make it harder.

Putting those pieces together, a wellspring of confidence rose up within me. This was a logic puzzle, and logic puzzles all had solutions. The hints put together... it made me think it had to be...

"From left to right-- Miku, Itsuki, Ichika."

"Bzzt!" the one on the far left said. "Incorrect! We're Itsuki, Ichika, Miku."

"Wait, so you were using your real ways of addressing me?" I said, the obvious turned to the traitorous. "Why?!"

"I got flustered!" Itsuki complained. "I wasn't expecting you to suddenly get paranoid and think we'd been tricking you all along, or something like that!"

"I just figured it would throw you off," Miku shrugged, pulling off the wig to reveal her own shorter hair. "Which it did. One more point for the master of disguise."

"Now, now," Ichika said, doing the same. "Don't feel too badly, Fuutarou-kun. You only had a one in six chance of getting it right."

"Eh? One in six?" Yotsuba asked, confused. "Why is it-- oh, wait! I remember! Combinatorics!"

"If you remember something from the midterms, then we're in good shape for the final," I said drily. "I'm still pretty shaken by this whole thing, but I'm going to choose to trust that you haven't used that on me at any point. Please keep it that way."

Yotsuba got a serious look on her face at my sombre words, and nodded. I let out a deep breath, and then sighed.

"So anyways," I muttered, turning back to the remaining sisters. "Why did you turn this guy down? Do you not like him, Ichika?"

"I did it," Miku said, "and it's because... it's because I panicked, to be honest. I figured if Ichika desperately wanted to go dance with him, she could always just go apologize later and accept."

"Which I don't," Ichika said, stretching in her seat. "Maeda-kun is nice enough, but... mmm, how do I put this? I'm not really looking to date right now. I have... other things that I've got my mind on."

Her eyes lingered on me for a second in a way that made me feel strangely uncomfortable -- but I wasn't really able to vocalize the discomfort, even internally, and eventually her eyes slid away, taking my discomfort with them.

We continued playing cards for a few more hours, but at some point I noticed that the bus had essentially ceased to move. I checked my phone, and also realized that we were about an hour past when we had been due to arrive at the camping grounds.

"Is it just me," I asked, "or have we hardly moved in the last hour?"

"Yes..." Itsuki said, glancing out the window. "It seems as though there is some sort of backup... I wonder why?"

"Probably that," Yotsuba said, her face pressed up against the cool glass.

Leaning over her, I pressed my own face to the glass next to her, just in time to see something fall by the window. It was only then that I realized that the sky above us was a murky grey, and that the falling object hadn't been alone; rather, it was joined by a cohort of its fellows, each dancing and spinning and twisting in the wind as they fluttered to the ground.

"I don't think we're going to make it to the camping grounds today," I said resignedly.

It was beginning to snow.

Notes:

Alas, the weather doesn't care one whit about the fact that Fuutarou didn't accept the tutoring job!

Chapter 22: The Voice in the Hall

Chapter 22

The Voice in the Hall

 

After several more hours of waiting in traffic, all whilst moving at a pace of approximately nothing per hour, the sun was beginning to get dangerously low in the sky, and an executive decision was made to lodge in a nearby ryokan for the night. The bus diverted off of the highway at the next available opportunity (which took another thirty minutes after the decision was made), and the sun had already dropped below the horizon to the west by the time we stopped in front of the ryokan.

"Well, this sucks," Yotsuba said glumly as we waited to disembark. "We had so many fun things planned for during the first day!"

"We can still do them," I said, shifting anxiously from one foot to another. I didn't like waiting in the aisles -- something about it stoked anxiety in my chest. Perhaps a mild form of claustrophobia. "Just... here, instead of the campground."

"Oh, good idea! Uesugi-san, you're a genius!"

"Don't praise me for something that simple," I scowled. "Call me a genius because I'm a genius, not because I thought of something obvious."

"Ok! Uesugi-san, you're not a genius!"

"Hey, wait, that's not what I meant--"

Laughing, Yotsuba stepped forward as the line began to shift, and was soon off the bus. Scowling, I followed, with Itsuki, Miku, and Ichika following suit. Miku had re-applied her headphones, and was tapping away on her phone, oblivious to the world around her. After stepping down from the bus (with a sigh of relief), we milled outside as the teachers discussed various details regarding our lodging amongst themselves. As we stood, snow continued fluttering down around us in thick flurries, rendering everything further than a few metres away invisible. I could hardly see the ryokan in which we were set to stay.

We stood like that for what felt like forever, but was in practice probably closer to only a couple of minutes.

"Alright, listen up!" one of the teachers eventually called over the wind howling around us. "We've managed to negotiate a group rate, so we'll be putting six of you to a room. I've got a list of the groups here. When you hear your name, please grab your bags, and then meet in the lobby of the inn. A staff member will show you to your rooms."

Some grumbling erupted from various parts of the mass of students, but the majority were like myself -- just desperate to get things over with so we could get inside. My back was also stiff from hours on the bus, and the whistling wind was stinging my face, even if my coat was keeping the majority off my body.

Almost immediately, all of the Nakano sisters were called together, along with some girl from another class who I didn't recognize. The four near me walked off, each offering a brief goodbye. Then, I was left alone, shivering in the cold.

Come on, hurry up and call my name.

The teacher continued to go through their list, and my name continued to not be called. My anxiety and impatience continued to grow, and the crowd around me continued to thin. Eventually, there were only about fifteen of us left -- then, finally, my name was called.

"Uesugi Fuutarou. Takeda Yuusuke. Maeda Akechi. Hashiba Hikaru. Tokugawa Haru. Toyotomi Asa."

I was so grateful to be able to grab my bag and head inside the ryokan, my head and shoulders sporting a healthy dusting of snow, that I didn't even particularly care about the fact that I would be sharing a room with Second Place-san. Striding over to the open belly of the bus, I grabbed my suitcase, and hauled it into the lobby.

Shaking off the accumulated snow, I stepped into the warmth, my reddened skin stinging as it soaked in the heat of the indoors. I walked over to where Second Place-san was standing with some other boys, whom he appeared to know.

"Welcome, sirs," the staff member said to the six of us once I'd arrived, bowing deeply. "Please, follow me."

Taking the lead, they led us along a long hallway, then around a number of sharp corners, and finally to our room, number 214. After sliding the door open and letting the six of us pile in, the staff member regaled us with information about all the facilities available. There were apparently hot springs, as well as a complimentary massage service. They also informed us that there were six futons rolled up in storage areas on either side of the room.

"We look forward to your stay," they finished, bowing deeply. "Please, if you have any issues, inform a staff member immediately."

Then, they slid the door shut, leaving the six of us to mill in the room.

"Well, the baths sound kind of cool," one of the boys I didn't recognize said, scratching his cheek. "Do you guys wanna go?"

"Sure," said one of the others, locking his hands behind his head. "That sounds nice."

"Hey, do you think there's mixed baths here?" a third said, a little bit of drool coming from the corner of his mouth. "Maybe... maybe..."

"Shut the hell up, Hikaru," the first one said, smacking the guy in the back of the head. "Go perv out somewhere else."

"Hey!" he protested as the three of them left the room, their bags in disarray all over the floor. "I'm just speculating! Spe-cu-la-ting! Damn, Haru, don't you know what speculating is?"

"I'm gonna drown you, dumbass."

With the three of them gone, my focus was drawn to a boy who I didn't recognize. He was quite tall, with brown hair slicked back into what could only be described as a mullet. His face screamed 'delinquent', but something seemed... off. Like there was more to him than that.

It was his eyes.

The way they narrowed as he looked around the room suggested to me that there was more to him than the persona he was putting on. As though he were analyzing everything around him -- though whether that was for some nefarious purpose, or just a habit, I had no clue.

"Ah, once again, Uesugi Fuutarou, fate has brought us together! I see then that our clash is not complete -- the stars demand our continued struggle! Indeed, supremacy itself is on the line!"

Ah, crap, I forgot.

Grinding my teeth together, I turned to look at the blond boy who was practically radiating chuunibyou energy next to me.

"Can we not do this? Please?"

"Why, Uesugi Fuutarou, I have no idea what you mean!"

"I just... I don't have the energy for this right now. You're at an eleven right now, and I need you to turn it down to a five."

As I spoke, I held my hand level above my head, and then slowly lowered it -- indicating the energy level to which I was hoping (fruitlessly) that he would descend.

"Ah hah hah, is this the oft-rumoured languor of the common folk? Come, Uesugi Fuutarou, let us go forth like men and bathe in the steamy heat of the baths! That'll wash away your malaise!"

My eye twitched. "Are you-- are you serious? 'Languor of the common folk?' You still haven't given that up? Listen, Second Place-san... sorry, Fourth Place-san. You need to stop with the superiority complex. It's driving me up the goddamn wall."

At my nickname for him, the blond boy's face contorted into a look that was difficult to understand -- it wasn't quite fury, though there were elements of that. There was also... hurt? There was also something there that I didn't understand, some other emotion.

"Listen here, Uesugi Fuutarou! I shan't have you slandering me! I have no sorts of complexes at all!"

"It's not slander if it's true!"

"It isn't true!"

"Do some introspection, dammit!"

"Why, I'll have you know--"

"Uh," said a voice from the other end of the room, interrupting Second Place-san. "Do you two... have some kind of nerd beef or something?"

"He's my eternal rival , fated to dual one another in the sacred dance of academics for all eternity!" Second Place-san cried, striking a pose with his arms.

"I've literally never met this man before in my life," I deadpanned.

"Well, one of those two is a friggin' lie, " the boy at the other end said. He pulled a futon out of one of the storage areas, rolled it out, and then flopped onto it. "Would you two pipe down? I'm sufferin' from a broken heart here, I need you both to buzz off."

A broken heart...? Also, rude.

"I shan't 'buzz off', this is my room as well," Second Place-san said, huffing. "If you wish to mope, Maeda-san, you may do so in the baths, as is dignified and just!"

"What the hell're you talking about, blondie?" Maeda scowled. "Don't just dump on a man when he's down."

"Ha! Nonsense! True strength comes from those who face adversity head on! Steel your heart, Maeda-san, for a bright new tomorrow approaches!"

"Ah, go to hell," the delinquent sighed. "I don't need a lecture from a pompous prick like you. I'm gonna curl up in this futon and suffer."

Yeah, I... don't even want to know. This sounds like a whole debacle that I don't want to--

"Why, what happened?" I asked, my mouth deciding to turn traitor at the worst possible moment.

"The most beautiful girl in the world turned me down," Maeda muttered, shoving his face into the futon. "I just wanted a girlfriend to dance with at the bonfire."

"Oh, right," I muttered. "There was something about that in the handbook."

I hadn't been able to bring myself to care about a dance, let alone one with my classmates, so I'd spent the majority of the time reading up on the things Yotsuba and I had planned. The bonfire and dance was just an afterthought, touched upon briefly only once I'd realized Yotsuba was on setup duty. Naturally, I'd offered to help in exchange for her services with the test of courage.

Equivalent exchange, and all that.

"I just can't bring myself to give up, though... I bet that Nakano-san isn't even taken."

Suddenly, I added two and two in my head.

"Oh!" I pounded my fist on my open palm. "You're Maeda-kun! The one Mi-- uh, Ichika rejected!"

Then, I covered my mouth , horrified . Stop betraying me, you stupid organ!

Maeda scowled over at me. "Don't be so familiar with Nakano-san, pal. What, are you dating her? I don't think she'd go for a scrawny nerd like you."

I uncovered my mouth, and shrugged my shoulders at the accurate representation of my physique. "No, she probably wouldn't . That's fine with me , I'm not particularly interested. Love is the furthest remove d thing possible from academics. You're welcome to pursue it if you like -- but I have no interest."

"Bullshit," Maeda scoffed immediately. "I can tell from one look that you're the most repressed bastard I've ever met in my life, but I bet there's something in there."

"No, definitely not," I said, scowling back at him. For some reason, his comment had struck a nerve. " Unlike you, I have no intention of getting moonstruck over some girl. Besides, if you just want a girlfriend, any girl will do, won't they?"

"Nakano-san is special," Maeda glared at me. "I ain't gonna just drop her and scamper off to the nearest girl I can find if I know she'd not taken."

"That's... weirdly gallant of you, but I strongly suggest you do just that."

"Indeed!" Second Place-san piped up after an uncharacteristically long silent spell . "I agree with Uesugi Fuutarou! You should steel your heart, and move on to the other fish in the great wide sea!"

M aeda scowled at him as well.

"Listen here, you, I don't need--"

"You need only spread your wings! I know you're a catch, Maeda-san, you simply must let them know it! Simply ask a girl to be yours!"

Maeda blinked in astonishment. " Do... do you really think so?"

"Yes! Cast your net wide, Maeda-san, and your heart shall be spared!"

"I... huh... fine. I'm listenin', blondie."

I stared back and forth between Second Place-san and Maeda as they kept talking, Second Place-san striking various poses .

This has turned into some kind of weird love therapy session that I would desperately like to not be part of.

As though reading my mind, I felt a buzz in my pocket, and I pulled out my phone to see an email from Yotsuba inviting me to come play some more cards. Apparently she, Miku, and Itsuki were set up at a coffee table in a common area near their room, number 109.

" Well, it's been lovely talking with you gentlemen," I said, lying through my goddamn teeth, "but I've gotta go. Have fun with... well, whatever the hell you're doing."

Then, I pushed my suitcase into the corner of the room so as not to leave a mess, and fled for my life.

Having left the terrifying confluence of personalities in the room behind me, I wandered the halls, attempting to navigate my way to the location Yotsuba had sent me. This was, it turned out, no trivial task. The ryokan was sprawling; while it was all one story, the numbering system made no sense to me at all.

Why was our block the two-hundred block?

Why was the other one the one-hundred block, when they weren't next to each other?

Why, in my wanderings, was I now in the four-hundred block, which was apparently intermediate to the two?

Why did this ryokan in the middle of nowhere even have four-hundred rooms?!

As my confusion mounted, I found myself in a small common area with a vending machine and a few chairs around a table. Irritated, I flopped into one of the chairs, sliding down so that my neck was level with the backing, and my legs were extended out.

"This is going to take all night," I muttered, and pulled out my phone.

<Instructions unclear. Lost. Trapped. Mayday, mayday!>

A moment later, there was a buzz, and I saw that Yotsuba had laid out surprisingly clear instructions on how to reach her, starting from the front entrance. I was moderately impressed -- it was encouraging to see a practical example of the improvement in the clarity of her writing.

Muttering to myself about the sins of unintuitive interior design, I put my phone away, got up, and slowly began to attempt to make my way back to the front lobby. It would, I hoped, be a straight shot from there.

Apparently, "returning to the front desk" was far too much to ask for.

The hallways continued to bemuse and befuddle me with their twists and turns, and before long I was well and truly lost. Turning a corner, I saw a T-junction ahead of me, completely devoid of people -- and when I reached it, my heart dropped. Down the hall to the right was the exact same common area which I had just left. I recognized the table and vending machine.

I was going in circles.

This place probably isn't even that big...

Frustrated at my own failure to navigate, I continued going straight instead of turning right, hoping I would somehow find my way back to an area I recognized. I was, essentially, putting my faith in the power of a random walk.

It was about ten minutes later that I passed a turn, and heard a voice echoing down the adjacent hallway -- a voice that made my ears perk up.

That's Yotsuba's voice! I must have made it!

Then, I slowly started to frown as the voice, too quiet to have any hope of discerning any words, continued.

No... wait... there's something wrong. I... don't think that's Yotsuba.

I turned down the hall, walking slowly and carefully so as to not drown out the voice with my footsteps -- I was terrified of losing it, and consigning myself to dozens of minutes more of wandering. As I approached, my frown deepened. There was something about the voice that just didn't feel right; like the tenor was different, the notes different from Yotsuba's. As I got closer, I could start to make out a few words, though the majority was still just a quiet mumble in the background.

Who is that?

I reached another turn, and peeked around the corner. There was a different common area here, a very small one -- just a single couch, one which had certainly seen better days. The curled wooden feet were slightly chipped, and the pattern on the fabric simply screamed "1973". My attention, however, was primarily drawn not to the couch, but to the girl sitting on the couch, who was hunched over, poring over a stapled package of paper.

For some reason, Ichika was sitting completely on her own, talking to herself.

"No, Fuji-kun! I don't want to be left alone! I'm scared of the dark!"

A moment of silence. Then, she spoke again, apparently to nobody.

"But... but... I'm scared!"

Retreating slightly, I frowned. It was obvious that she was reading from some kind of script -- that, or she was hallucinating. That, however, only confused me further. The school culture festival had been months ago, not that I'd attended. There were, as far as I knew, no school plays happening any time soon either; and Yotsuba had made no mention of her sister being cast in one, anyways.

I couldn't see any possible reason she could have for sneaking off to some random abandoned hallway to read a script.

Maybe she's started doing community theatre?

Regardless, she was the first person I'd seen in nearly twenty minutes. She was, without a doubt, my ticket to getting out of this tangled web of walls.

There was nothing for it.

I rounded the corner as Ichika continued reading her lines.

"Hey," I said awkwardly, raising my hand. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Eh?!" Ichika yelped, leaping on the spot in the chair and dropping the pages, which crumpled on the floor. "Oh my god, Fuutarou-kun, you scared me!"

"Sorry, sorry," I apologized, raising my hands slightly. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's... it's fine," she said, catching her breath. "It's my fault for not paying attention."

There was a moment's awkward silence. Ichika was looking up at me, a slight red dusting surfacing on her cheeks.

"Did... did you hear?"

No use lying.

"...Yeah. Sorry."

Ichika's face went fully red, and she buried her face in her hands.

Then, unexpectedly, she laughed through her fingers. "Wow, that's embarrassing. I've done such a good job keeping things secret until now. Ugh, and it had to be a script like this, too -- it's not even a good one!"

I raised an eyebrow. "So... what, exactly, are you doing?"

Ichika didn't respond at first, simply leaning down and picking the dropped pages up off the floor. The papers rustled as she straightened out the stapled pages, tapping them against her knee to collate them properly. She put the script down next to her, and bit her lip in contemplation -- as though she wasn't sure what to do.

As though she was weighing the cost and the benefit of answering my question.

The silence stretched, as seconds turned to almost half a minute of wordless awkwardness. Finally, I shrugged, giving up.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I won't pry -- it's none of my business, after all."

Ichika looked away from me... and then, she finally spoke, an uncharacteristically quiet voice carrying her words.

"Maybe... maybe I should."

I frowned. I had no idea what that meant.

"It's been getting harder and harder to keep this a secret. I keep having to dance around this... thing, making sure the others don't know. It's exhausting."

I just waited.

"Maybe it'll be good -- good to finally get it off my chest, you know? Tell somebody about it."

"It's up to you," I said quietly, suddenly feeling like I'd, perhaps, accidentally wandered into a minefield. "I don't want to pressure you into telling me just because I happened to catch you. If you want me to just pretend I didn't see anything, I will."

Ichika was silent again, staring away from me. A shiver went up her spine, and she shook her head as though to clear it. Then, finally, she turned to face me -- and I could tell from the look in her eyes that she'd come to a decision.

"I'll tell you. You can't tell anybody though," Ichika said, her voice soft. "Promise?"

"Anybody?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "So, you don't want your sisters to know?"

"I especially don't want my sisters to know. So... no telling Yotsuba-chan."

"That's fine," I shrugged. "I can keep my mouth shut."

"No, I need you to promise."

Ichika held eye-contact with me, an uncharacteristically serious look on her face. I held her gaze for a few seconds, and then I sighed, and nodded. "Ok. I promise."

"Great!" Ichika said, her face lighting up, and her trademark smirk returning to her face. "Come sit down then, Fuutarou-kun, and I'll tell you all about my little secret. Or... should I say, our little secret?"

As she said the last few words, she winked at me, and patted the couch next to her.

"Please don't word it like that," I said, rolling my eyes as I sat down. "Well?"

Ichika was quiet again for just a moment, perhaps to gather her thoughts, perhaps to steel herself. I could tell just from her posture that she was nervous, though she was clearly trying to hide it. I also noticed, with some consternation, that her hands were trembling. She took a deep breath... and then another.

The seconds ticked on, with no words coming out of her mouth.

Ichika swallowed.

Then--

"I'm working as an actress," she blurted out.

"I... see," I said, blankly.

The silence resumed. It stretched for a few more moments, my brain not processing this new information.

Then...

"Eh? Wait, wait, hang on-- you mean professionally?!" I said, reeling.

"Well," Ichika said, a paper-thin smile crossing her face, "I'm trying, anyways. It's... not going as well as I'd hoped. So far, it's just been bit parts."

I furrowed my brow, my mind jumbled.

"Why on earth wouldn't you want your sisters to know about that?! That's amazing!"

"A lot of reasons, I guess," she said, pursing her lips and looking away from me. "The main one, though... I'm really lacking confidence right now. In my acting, I mean."

Ichika? Lacking confidence? This is a surprise to me.

"Honestly," Ichika said quietly, her voice trembling, "I've thought about giving up more than once. I promised myself... I promised that I would only tell them about it once I had something to show for it. Once I'd had some real success... so that I had something tangible to show them."

She pulled her knees up off the floor, and wrapped her arms around them. "I can't bring myself to tell them about this while I'm still empty-handed... because it makes it feel like I'm just entertaining some fantasy. Like I'm not serious about it. Like... like I'm a failure, just a silly little girl dreaming of being a movie star."

"I can understand that," I said quietly. "Like it doesn't feel like it's something you can share... until it's already done. Like there's something precious and fragile about it until that point. As though you could make one small error, and what you've managed to build up could break."

Ichika just nodded. "I can't let them know about it until I can truly believe that it's going to be real."

"You said you've only gotten bit parts? That's still pretty impressive. Isn't that something to show your sisters?"

"Not yet," Ichika said glumly, a slight pout coming across her face. I got the feeling I'd accidentally touched a sore spot.

"Why not?"

"I... I keep getting edited out."

I managed it. It took all of my willpower, all of my control over my facial muscles and my diaphragm -- but I managed not to laugh.

"I... see," I said, keeping everything deadpan. "That's unfortunate."

"You definitely just almost laughed, didn't you?"

"I... I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, glancing away from her as a single bead of sweat began to roll down my forehead.

A smirk slipped across Ichika's face. "Now, now, no need to lie to big sis -- I can tell, Fuutarou-kun."

I bowed my head deeply. "I'm very sorry."

She gently smacked me on the head with the script, and then she laughed. Somehow, hearing her laugh after how gloomy she'd been... it made me feel a bit better.

"It's fine, it's fine-- it is funny, even if it's depressing."

Then, she leaned back, staring at the ceiling.

"I got close, though. There was a big audition I had... when was it now? I don't remember. Maybe some time in late September..."

She sighed. 'It was for a pretty big part -- and I did ok, I think. But... I don't know, I guess my heart wasn't in it. There was this fireworks festival, and my sisters all went. We always go to watch the fireworks together, we always have since we were little. Nino went and rented a place for us to watch it and everything."

I frowned. This sounds familiar...

"The audition was at the same time as the fireworks, and so I ended up bailing on them to go do it. They were on my mind the whole time, though, and I guess... my performance just wasn't enough. I was short-listed for the part, but I didn't end up getting it. I was devastated."

Ah. That's why .

"I remember that," I said, leaning forward on the couch and staring at her. "I went to the mall with Yotsuba the next day, and she mentioned that you had left the festival early. Apparently Nino was pretty mad."

Ichika winced. "Yeah... she was."

Then, she smiled devilishly at me , her malaise temporarily set aside . "Though, my my, Fuutarou-kun . Here I am, spilling my guts to you -- and you bring up your dates with other women? How cruel ."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't tease me."

" Oh , but you're a prime target. How could I possibly resist the temptation?"

"I believe in you," I said drily.

I'd only meant it as a retort, but Ichika's face went a bit red, and she glanced away from me.

"...Thanks, Fuutarou-kun."

I scratched my cheek awkwardly . "I'm sure you're doing your best. It'll only be a matter of time -- if you're sneaking away to practice even during the school trip... it's clear how much this means to you. "

I chika nodded silently, turning back to me.

"It means a lot," she said, her voice quiet again . " I... I've been devoting all my time to this. Hours and hours and hours. I basically don't have weekends anymore, I'm just at work all the time. I've been working after school as well, just to try and get my break. After I didn't get that part... I just threw myself into things, trying to make up for my failure. "

There was another moment of silence, and then she shuddered.

"It's been really hard," she said, her voice cracking. "All I can do is just keep trying though... right?"

"I believe you," I said quietly. "Just keep doing your best."

Then, a thought occurred to me, and I frowned.

"Wait, hang on -- is that why you were skipping Second Place-san's sessions?"

Ichika frowned, confusion suddenly written across her face. "Who's that?"

"Uh... what was his real name? Er... oh, right. Takeda."

"Oh."

Ichika suddenly looked embarrassed, and looked away. She wiped her eye with her sweater sleeve.

"... Busted, " she laughed awkwardly , lowering her arm . "I had work every evening except Tuesdays and Fridays, which conflicted with the sessions. I asked our dad about moving them before they started, but apparently that wasn't possible -- and if I'd said it was for work, I would ' ve had to tell him what I was doing for work . I didn't want that. So ... I just skipped. "

I frowned. That explained... a lot.

"That's really unfortunate. You were able to come on the trip though -- how did that happen? Didn't your dad threaten to keep you home doing community service if you skipped any more sessions?"

"Yeah," Ichika said, getting a faraway look in her eyes. "That was a huge pain in the butt. I had to re-arrange my work schedule so that I'd be free on Mondays and Thursdays instead of Tuesday s and Friday s . It 's meant I don't have any free days. I wanted to come on this trip and have fun though, so..."

She shrugged wordlessly, and in that moment, an intense wave of sympathy came over me.

She really is pouring her heart and soul into this...

"Well, it'll be worth it when you get that big part, right?" I smiled, leaning forward. "All the hard work, that is."

"I hope so," Ichika said, smiling. "Balancing school and work is... not the easiest thing. Some days, I wonder if I should just drop out, and focus on my dream full time."

I shrugged. "If that's what you think is best... but maybe wait until you get a break before you throw away your other options, you know?"

Ichika sighed. "Somehow, Fuutarou-kun, I had a feeling you would say that."

"Why do you sound disappointed, then?!"

"I'm not, I'm not!" she said, raising her hands. "Well, maybe a little."

I shrugged. "While education is important in its own right, ultimately it's a means to gain the skills to do the things you want to do. If you know what you want to do, and you have the means to achieve it... then by all means, go for it. The problem comes when you need a fail-safe, something to turn to when you need to get back on your feet. "

Then, I frowned. "Hang on -- if you were working all the time, how did you have any time to study? I heard from Itsuki that you passed at least one of your subjects."

Ichika laughed. "Yeah... I don't know. I've always been pretty good at math, so I guess I got a little lucky with the distribution of the questions? Also, I don't know if you remember, but I hung out with you and Yotsuba while you were studying on some of my off-days. I think I probably subconsciously picked up a bit of what you guys were doing."

Then, she stretched in her spot, and lolled her head to the side to look at me.

"You know... I feel a lot better now. It feels weird that someone besides my agent knows... but... I don't know. It's a good feeling. Getting it off my chest, I mean. "

"That makes sense. It's hard to keep secrets for a long time."

"Oh really ? " she said, winking at me. " Is that so? What sort of secrets are you hoarding , then ? Come on, you can tell big sis Ichika -- I'll keep all your secrets for you."

I snorted. "I don't have any secrets. I'm an open book -- I care about studying, and my family."

"Hmm? Is that so? I'm not sure I believe that , Fuutarou-kun. Everyone has a few secrets. Come on, tell me the skeletons in your closet."

An image briefly surfaced in my mind, a flash of black hair. Nope.

"No, I don't think I will, thank you," I said politely. "I'm squeaky clean."

"Boo, that's no fun."

" Sorry for my failure to amuse," I snorted. "Alas, you'll have to just suffer."

"Oh my, Fuutarou-kun, I didn't realize you were an S. Geez, and here I thought all this time that you were an M. How extreme," Ichika said, smirking.

I put my head in my hands, groaning. Ichika looked at me for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

I shook my head, disgruntled. "This is too much. You're killing me here."

"Sorry, sorry," Ichika wheezed, wiping away a tear. "But you're just way too easy."

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in the chair. Ichika continued to laugh uproariously, and eventually got it out of her system. She finally looked up at me, and a more stern look came across her face.

"I am serious about this though, Fuutarou-kun. Please don't tell my sisters. Not until I'm ready."

I nodded. "I promised, didn't I?"

"Great!" Ichika said, popping up and turning to face me, her hands clasped behind her back. "Thank you very much, Fuutarou-kun."

"It's fine."

"Oh, since you're here anyways -- I need a male reader for the other role in the script. Any chance you'd be willing to help me out?"

I glanced down the hall. It had already been close to half an hour since I'd originally left Maeda and Second Place-san to their love talk, and fifteen since I'd sent an email to Yotsuba. I didn't particularly want to keep her, or the others, waiting any longer. But...

"Fine," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

She's doing her best all alone. The least I can do is provide a little bit of help.

"Great!" she said, sitting back down. "Here, let me show you."

She shuffled over next to me, and held the script over to be between us, her shoulder mere centimetres from mine.

"How much do you need me to try and act the part?" I asked. "I'm not much for theatre, to be honest. I'm not a good actor."

"It's more about having another person to read the lines; it allows me to just act instead of imagining pauses. So, do it however you like," she said, smiling at me.

"Gotcha," I said. "Ok, where are we starting from?"

"Here."

"Ok..."

I cleared my throat, and took a deep breath.

"Hey, Hana-chan, I heard that class 3-B is doing a haunted house! Do you... want to check it out together?"

Ichika looked up at me, and suddenly her whole face transformed. Where usually there was the vixen who loved to tease me, suddenly an innocent girl was sitting looking up at me, a mixture of fear and hope on her face.

"Fuji-kun? I... I don't like those kinds of things. But... but if you're there, Fuji-kun, I'll be brave!"

"Don't be scared, Hana-chan, I'll be there to protect you!"

I frowned, and looked over at her. "This really is schlock, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, immediately changing back into Ichika,"but I need the part."

Then, she turned back into the demure Hana-chan.

"Promise, Fuji-kun! Promise you'll hold my hand the whole time! I'm scared of the dark!"

"Tch, clingy." I muttered. "Fine, I'll hold your hand, Hana-chan!"

"Ok! Then let's go, Fuji-kun!"

There was a moment's silence.

"Scene change," Ichika said in her normal voice. Then, she let out a small shriek.

"F-F-F-Fuji-kun! I'm so scared, there are monsters everywhere! That's-- that's a zombie!"

"Relax, Hana-chan," I read, pounding my chest with one hand. "I'll protect you from all of them!"

"O-Ok, I trust you, Fuji-kun!"

Another pause. Then...

"A beautiful succubus appears and latches onto Fuji-kun," Ichika read in her normal voice. "She presses her breasts against his arm."

"G-Get off of me, you wench! I won't be swayed! I... I won't..."

Another moment's silence.

"He-llo beautiful," I said, reading the next line in disbelief. I then looked up at Ichika. "What the hell is this garba--"

There were tears rolling down Ichika's face, her eyes puffy and red, and her lips trembling. My eyes widened in shock.

"No, Fuji-kun! Don't-- don't leave me! I don't want to be left alone! I'm scared of the dark!"

I turned back to the script, and read.

"God, you're so annoying. I'm leaving... and taking this buxom babe with me!"

"But... but... I'm scared!"

"That's not my problem anymore," I laughed half-heartedly, in accordance with the direction of the script.

"Fuji-kun -- Fuji-kun! No, don't go!"

Tears rolled down Ichika's face, falling onto her lap. A small hiccup came out, and she wiped a rolling droplet away with the back of her fist. Then, she looked up at me.

"This is the worst," she whispered, the heartbreak and loneliness palpable in her voice. "I'm all alone... the boy I like left me, I'm scared of the dark, and there are monsters everywhere. I wish I'd never come here. I should never have trusted him. I wish I'd never made these choices. I hate this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it so much! I can't go back though. I... I have to stay strong. I can't lose to this fear! If I do, it'll swallow me whole."

Despite the... questionable script, the tears streaking down her face really sold the emotion, to the point where I almost felt a flurry of pity stir in my chest for the fictional girl Ichika was bringing to life.

"...swallow me whole. Why? Why did he leave? What does that girl have that I don't? I... I can't escape. I can't escape. I'm trapped forever!"

Wait, is this a horror script now?!

"And scene," Ichika suddenly said in her normal voice, wiping the tears away with her sweater and smiling. "Well? How was my acting?"

"I think," I said carefully, "that you are far too good for this absolute garbage excuse for a script."

Ichika sighed, but a half-smile lurked on her face. "That's kind of you, Fuutarou-kun, but I'll take what I can get at the moment. The more eyeballs there are on me, the more likely it is I can get my break. All I can do is my best, and hope that eventually something bigger -- and better -- comes my way."

"Yeah... you can definitely do better than this," I said, tapping the script with my hand. "You have a real talent -- the tears sold it for me. I had no idea you could cry on command."

"Well, it's not quite on command," Ichika laughed, embarrassed by my praise. "Sometimes when I'm doing a scene, though, there's this... place inside of me where I can tug, and the tears just let loose. It's not always there though: I was just lucky this time. Maybe it was because of what we were talking about before? I was feeling pretty emotional."

"Well, lucky or not, it turned a frankly shockingly schlocky script into something at least remotely palatable -- so that gets a passing grade from me, at least. Good job."

"Thanks, Fuutarou-kun," Ichika smiled at me -- a genuine smile for once, rather than her usual teasing mask. It was nice to see. "That means a lot to me."

"When your movie comes out, let me know. I'll go see it."

"Oh," Ichika said, suddenly getting a bit red. "That's a bit embarrassing, but... sure."

"Great! I'm looking forward to i--"

My phone buzzed loudly in my pocket, and I frowned.

"Ah, shoot, that reminds me, I was on my way to go play cards. Do you happen to know how to get back to the main lobby from here? I... may have gotten somewhat lost."

"Sure," Ichika chuckled. "If you go down this hall, and make two lefts and a right, you'll be back at the main lobby. This place isn't that big, after all."

"Right," I said drily. "Thanks..."

Not that big, my eye.

"Think of it as my way of thanking you for helping with the read," she winked at me. "And also... thank you for hearing me out, and for keeping my secret."

I shrugged, rising to my feet. "A promise is a promise. Would you like to come play cards?"

"Ah, no, I think I'll stay here and practice a bit longer. Thanks though. Have fun!"

"Will do," I grunted. "See you."

I started walking down the hall, attempting to construct a mental map of how to get back to the front lobby.

Two lefts, and a right...

"Fuutarou-kun?"

I turned back around to see Ichika looking at me from the couch, a pensive look on her face.

"Yes?" I asked slowly.

"Can... Can I ask you a weird question?"

"You just did -- but you're welcome to ask a second."

She frowned, ignoring the jibe. "This is going to sound insane, but... I've been wondering this for a while now. Months. It's been really bothering me. You and I... have we met somewhere before?"

"Well, you see, about two months ago, we ran into each other at the school cafeteria, and you made fun of me in front of your sisters..."

"That's not what I mean, silly." she said, shaking her head, though a small smile crossed her face. "I meant before that. Years ago, maybe."

I paused to evaluate. Years ago? I don't think I remember meeting Ichika years ago... unless...

A thought of a red-haired girl, a distant memory, flashed across my mind. That was the only redhead I could remember meeting. But... it didn't fit. Their personalities were too different.

"I think," I said carefully, "I would remember if I'd met someone who teased me as much as you do."

"Hmm," Ichika said, frowning. "I suppose that's true... I just can't shake the feeling that we've met before, though."

Then, she shrugged, and leaned back in the chair.

"Ah, well, there's nothing for it. Maybe it's just deja vu. Forget about it, Fuutarou-kun."

"Sure," I replied, feeling vaguely unsettled. "See you later."

"Bye."

I continued down the hallway as Ichika returned to her script, and turned the corner. Another left, and a right, and I indeed found myself back in the front lobby. Pulling out my phone, I saw that Yotsuba had simply sent a series of question marks. I quickly responded that I was coming, and then scrolled to the email where she'd sent the original instructions.

Following said instructions, about three minutes later I walked into a common room where Miku, Itsuki, and Yotsuba were gathered around a table, playing cards.

"Ah! Uesugi-san! You're late! Pffffft! Pfffffffffft!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that your attempt to whistle?"

"Pfffffffffffffft!"

"I taught you better than that," I said, sadly shaking my head. "I'm disappointed, Yotsuba."

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

Ignoring Yotsuba's indignant whistling attempts, I sat down at the table.

"Hi," I said to Itsuki and Miku. Itsuki raised her hand in greeting, her eyes on the cards. Miku looked at me, nodded, and then looked away without saying a word.

Wow. Cold. Did I do something?

"Uesugi-san, I emailed you ages ago!" Yotsuba complained from her chair across from me. "What the heck happened?"

"I got lost, and then I ran into Ichika. We chatted for a bit, and I lost track of time. Then, I got un-lost, and managed to make it here. The end."

A strange expression crossed Yotsuba's face for a moment -- and then it was gone, just like that. If I were to describe the expression, I would have read it as being a mixture of confusion... and worry. However, since that reading made no sense whatsoever, I just elected to decide I was wrong, and ignore it.

"So, what are you playing?" I asked, leaning back in the chair.

"Daifugou," Miku said quietly. "I'm winning."

"I'll steal your spot," I quipped confidently. "I'm coming for you."

"Oh," Miku said, frowning. "Good luck with that, Fuutarou. I'm going to destroy you."

"A-ha! 'Tis a challenge I hear!" Yotsuba proclaimed. "Let the duel commence!"

I played with the three sisters for the next several hours . As expected, I absolutely creamed Yotsuba and Itsuki; however, for some reason, Miku was simply unreasonably effective at this game. Despite the fact I usually had no trouble disposing of her, she seemed especially determined to hold her own. Eventually, however, I managed to secure my continued reign over the table.

"I yield," Miku muttered, splaying her cards out. "I'll go commit seppuku now."

"Eh?" Yotsuba said, horrified. "Isn't that a little extreme for a card game?!"

"No, she's suffered a grievous defeat," I smirked. "She must pay the price. Death is the only option."

"Fuutarou, you're a jerk," Miku pouted at me.

"Tell me about it," Itsuki sighed. "This guy, I swear! He makes fun of me every day."

"Hey," I protested, frowning. "It's not every day."

"Why are you only denying that part?!"

"Besides," I said, shrugging and ignoring the final point. "If you actually had a problem with it, you would tell me, right?"

"Ye s , " Itsuki admitted . "I would still give you hell over it first though."

I frowned. "Rude. Yotsuba, do you also think I'm a jerk?"

"Uh... uh..."

Yotsuba seemed overwhelmed by the question, her eyes rapidly flicking back and forth from the left to the right. I immediately felt guilty -- I hadn't meant to put her on the spot like that.

"You're allowed to say yes," I sighed. "I won't be offended."

"Well," she said, an apologetic tone in her voice, "I think sometimes you can be a little harsh... and blunt... b-but that doesn't make you a jerk! It's... it's part of your charm!"

Itsuki, Miku, and I all just stared at her. I could feel my face reddening.

"Oh," was all I could bring myself to say.

Itsuki muttered something under her breath, and Miku just reached over and patted Yotsuba on the knee. Her face was turning redder by the second, and I could feel my own doing the same. I decided that a tactical change of topic was in order.

"A-Anyways," I mumbled, "shall we play another round?"

"Yes," Itsuki said definitively. "Please."

We played one more round, but Yotsuba still looked like she was dying . Occasionally, when I was facing away from her, I thought I could see Miku staring at me out of the corner of my eye -- but the staring disease ran rampant with that one, so I didn't make much of it. The thing that was much more suspicious was that she attempted to hide the fact that she'd been staring when I turned back to look at her.

Eventually, I successfully protected my role at the top, and Itsuki threw in the towel.

"I a m pretty tired," she said, letting out a yawn. "Have you tried the baths yet, Uesugi-kun? They ' re amazing."

"Not yet," I said, shaking my head. "I was part of the last group in, got trapped in a delusional love conversation, then trapped in a hallway, then trapped in another conversation, then trapped in a card game -- I'm quite ready for them."

"Hey, you were not trapped in the card game!"

"I wasn't actually trapped in the others either, Itsuki, it was a joke."

"Oh."

"I'm out too, though," I said, getting to my feet. "After all, we've got a pretty busy day tomorrow, right?"

I made eye-contact with Yotsuba as I said the final bit, and after a moment, the grin returned to her face -- her embarrassment forgotten in light of the upcoming activities.

"Yeah! We've got a jam-packed weekend ahead! No lolly-gagging, Uesugi-san!"

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "I won't do even a little bit of lolly-gagging."

"Good!"

I waved goodnight, and then departed. As I left, I could feel Miku's eyes on the back of my neck.

What's going on with her, anyways? She fluctuates between being extremely social, and ice cold. I don't understand her at all.

I managed to navigate back to the front lobby, and from there to my own room. Upon entering, I found Second Place-san and Maeda still deep in their love consultation, with the other boys passed out on the floor. Terrified of the eldritch horror possessing that room, I quickly grabbed my things, and fled for the baths.

As I soaked in the water, I could feel myself relaxing, the heat allowing my muscles to diffuse their tension, and the soreness in my back to slowly dissipate. A deep sleepiness came over me, and as I stared up at the night sky, I could feel my eyes getting heavy. I couldn't allow myself to fall asleep in the hot springs, of course -- but I permitted myself a moment of deep relaxation. As I examined the darkness above me, I could feel the corners of my lips inching upwards of their own accord as Yotsuba's words returned, unbidden, to my mind.

"...Part of my charm, huh...?"

A smile broke out upon my face, and I couldn't help but laugh quietly to myself.

"That... certainly is a first."

Chapter 23: Arrival!

Chapter 23

Arrival!

 

The sun broke over the horizon in the east, the jagged mountains delaying its arrival for a few minutes longer, the sky blue long before the glowing ball of light the colour heralded. Light filtered through the window of the room, and as morning came, I was gently awoken by the sweet song of the Second Place-san.

Literally -- the boy was loudly singing to himself as he packed his bag.

Groggily, I rose in my futon, and looked around.

This isn't our apartment...

After a moment, my brain activated, and I remembered where I was -- and why a wild Second Place-san was prancing around my room . Groaning, I pulled the futon cover back over my head, buying myself a few more precious minutes of solitude and darkness. Nevertheless, the sound permeated my sanctuary; there was no escape.

It is far too early in the morning for this.

Eventually, I was faced with the stark reality that staying within my futon was not, in fact, a viable long-term option. Sighing, I emerged from my cocoon, and began drearily getting ready myself. The other boys in the room were scattered all about as though a typhoon had struck overnight; unlike fallen debris, however, the assorted lumps of human were beginning to stir.

With light streaming through, I walked over to the window of the room, pulled the curtain aside, and took a peek outside.

The view took my breath away.

The ryokan was situated near Nakatsugawa, or so I'd been able to gather from the information posted in the lobby. The previous evening, it had been too dark to make out any details from the bath -- but now, I could see the view in all its glory. The mountains were on full display, an admixture of orange and green peeking out from under the blanket of snow still remaining from the previous night's storm. The sky remained a misty grey, but in combination with the mountains, it rendered the whole view somehow all the more romantic -- clouds wisped around the peaks, thin strands of cotton decorating their ashen crowns. The trees in front of the ryokan, just outside the window, had hoarfrost coating their branches -- and yet, most of the leaves had not yet fallen, the white snow mixing with the remaining greenery to create an almost unearthly sight.

I checked my phone. It was still quite early... I probably had time for another bath.

The wayward thought cheered me enough to temporarily render Second Place-san's assault on my ears futile. It wasn't that he was a bad singer; far from it. He was just loud.

Suddenly, a pillow flew across the room at lightning speeds, and smacked Second Place-san right in the face.

"Can it, blondie," Maeda growled, sitting up from inside his futon. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Hah! Nonsense, Maeda-san!" Second Place-san retorted, the pillow falling away to the floor. "All go-getters are early risers! If you wish to win the woman of your dreams, you must rise with the sun! Push beyond your limits: shine like the morning glow of dawn!"

To my absolute astonishment, instead of doing the obvious thing and lashing out at the buffoon, Maeda's face suddenly looked... chastened.

"You're... you're right. I'm sorry, Love-Sensei."

"Love-Sensei? What the hell happened while I was gone last night?!" I found myself saying out loud in sheer incredulity.

"A-hahahahahaha! I have simply granted the boon of bountifulness unto Maeda-san here! Tell me, will you also take up the mantle, Uesugi Fuutarou?"

"I cannot think of a single thing I would like less in life," I said drily, slowly backing away.

"Nonsense! Join us, and--"

I quickly grabbed my towel and fled the room. Returning to the bath, as I stepped outside I was treated to a stunning vista to which I'd managed to grab only a hint via the bedroom window. Slipping into water, I could feel my spontaneously-accumulated stress slip away.

The cold November breeze, still cooled by the snow coating the ground, whisked over my upper body, strongly contrasted by the warm water in which I soaked. The feeling was surprisingly pleasant, though I felt the need to lower myself further in to shield my shoulders after a while. The view was almost enough that I didn't want to leave the ryokan... but we had plans for the day, and I didn't want to be a source of delay.

Regretfully getting out of the bath and wrapping myself in a towel, I paused for a moment, drinking in the sights one last time with thirsty eyes. As I stood in the entryway, I suddenly heard a voice drifting over from the other side of the partition.

It belonged to one of the quintuplets -- but as to which one, I had no clue.

I guess there's no need to rush after all... if they're only getting in now, we can't be leaving any time soon.

I lingered in the doorway a while longer, breathing in the cool fresh air. While I could hear some kind of conversation, I couldn't really make out the words -- after all, I wasn't about to go stand next to the partition just to eavesdrop. I had more class than that.

Taking a final glance over the mountains, I returned inside to get dressed. As I did so, my ears perked up at a stray word -- "Fuutarou". It narrowed the speaker down to either Miku or Ichika, but given I was devoid of further information, there wasn't really much else to be gleaned. I got dressed in the clothes my father had bought me, and glanced in a mirror as I got ready to head back to the viper's nest that was the hotel room.

It was a pair of black jeans, and an army-green t-shirt with some writing in French on it in yellow letters. I didn't read French, but I'd mentioned it to Yotsuba shortly after it had been forced upon me, and she'd used an app on her phone to figure out what it said -- naturally, she didn't speak French either.

Non, it read at the top. In the middle was a fleur-des-lis, and underneath, je ne regrette rien.

"No, I don't regret anything," I murmured, staring at the shirt. It felt almost like an aspiration , a mantra to repeat to oneself in the depths of the night.

That would be nice, wouldn't it? To be someone who regrets nothing.

Shaking myself from my reverie, I left the mirror behind, and pushed aside the blue cloth covering the entrance to the men's side of the bath. Quickly returning to the room, I found that Maeda and Second Place-san were (thankfully) both gone, though a few of the other boys, whose names I had already forgotten, remained as they packed their bags. I quickly rolled my futon up and stowed it away, then finished closing up my suitcase.

"Oh, uh... hey, you," one of the boys called awkwardly after me as I began to leave the room. "Sorry, I don't know your name."

"All good. What is it?" I asked, glancing back. I think that's the one that threatened to commit homicide last night...?

"A teacher came by while you were out, and said we're supposed to meet in the lobby. Apparently breakfast is free, but we've got to all go together."

Upon hearing the magical, mystical word of wonder ("free"), my face split into a wide grin -- one that I was sure Yotsuba would have called creepy.

"Perfect. Thanks for letting me know," I said.

"Yeah, sure..." the boy trailed off as I left the room, staring at me as I went.

After navigating to the lobby, I found the whole place swarming with teenagers. Large crowds such as these made me moderately uncomfortable, especially when I was by myself. I clutched my suitcase handle a little more tightly, the cool plastic giving me some comfort. Then, I saw a flash of red hair across the room, and my nerves immediately dissipated.

Meandering over to the other side of the lobby, I walked up behind Yotsuba, who was dramatically describing something with her arms, her excited voice rising above the babble of the crowd.

"Hey," I said. "Good morning."

"And then Sasuke-- oh, hey Uesugi-san! How'd you sleep?"

"I was terrified for my life the whole night -- but pretty well, all things considered."

"Eh? Terrified for your life?"

"There were terrifying things happening in that room," I said darkly. "Horrors beyond your imagination."

"That's... pretty chuuni of you, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said, half-laughing.

"Trust me," I muttered. "There're no delusions here. Just fear."

"Good morning, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki chimed in. "Wasn't the view beautiful from the baths? I loved it -- I wasn't expecting us to already be so high in the mountains!"

"I mean, I couldn't really see anything from the baths last night, but the view this morning was lovely. I've never been to the mountains before, so it was definitely a sight to see."

"You've never been to the mountains before, Fuutarou?" Miku asked quietly from behind Itsuki, and I realized with a start that all five of them were there.

"Ah... yeah," I said, rubbing the back of my head. "This is a first for me."

"Hmmm," Miku said, staring at my face. "I see."

Her gaze made me uncomfortable, and I looked away first. My eyes happened to land on Nino, and she immediately scowled at me.

"I don't want to eat breakfast with this loser," she growled. "If he's eating with us, I'm out."

"I don't have to eat with you, if it'll cause conflict," I said, suddenly feeling awkward. I wasn't sure if I was imagining it... but Nino seemed more hostile than usual. "Don't worry about it."

"Come on, Nino," a quiet voice said from behind me. "Let's just have breakfast. You don't need to be like that."

I turned around and, to my absolute bewilderment, saw that Miku was the one who had spoken up -- she was frowning at Nino, who seemed equally bewildered.

"Miku, why are you standing up for him?" Nino asked, confusion written across her face in giant letters. "You barely know him!"

"...That's true," she replied, still at her usual low volume. "But... Yotsuba and Itsuki do... and I had fun playing cards with him. Why can't he eat with us? It's a camping trip, and we're supposed to have fun."

"It won't be fun for me if he sits with us!"

"Why?"

"Because... because..."

Nino seemed to temporarily be at a loss for words. Her mouth opened and then closed twice... and then she shook her head.

"Fine," she grumbled. "He's taking one corner, though, and I'm taking the other."

On the one hand, I was pleasantly surprised to see how easily Nino had backed down when genuinely pressed; I hadn't expected Miku of all people to stand up for me.

On the other... I had hoped, somewhere deep inside, that the relative warmness Nino had shown me after the situation with Second Place-san would last a little bit longer -- that, perhaps, it would lead to a better relationship. Instead, things seemed right back where they were before. If anything, her attitude was marginally worse.

"So much for Operation Twintail," I muttered under my breath.

Yotsuba, being the closest to me, glanced over when I said that, and an apologetic look crossed her face -- but I waved it away. Nino's hatred of me wasn't Yotsuba's fault; I was hardly going to blame her for her sister's actions.

Finally, the doors to the dining hall opened, and we were allowed in. We all sat at a table in the corner; since it was round, Nino's objection regarding the corners was rendered moot. Instead, she contented herself with sitting a third of the circumference away from me so that she would neither have to sit next to me, nor directly across from me -- something which struck me as decidedly petty.

A teacher came by and informed us that we were in group four; there was a buffet, but we would be called up in turn so as to avoid crowding. Seated in between Yotsuba and Itsuki, Ichika was across the table from me, with Nino to her right and Miku to her left.

"Uesugi-san, what's the first thing on our schedule?" Yotsuba asked, leaning on her hand and raising her voice slightly so she could be heard above the hubbub of the dining hall.

"Uh... If I remember correctly, it was orienteering at ten o'clock."

"What even is that?" Itsuki asked, frowning.

"It's an event where you use a map and compass to find various points," I said, frowning. "I would be opposed... but you're allowed to walk, and I don't care about getting a good time."

"Eh?! Uesugi-san, we've gotta shoot for the top!" Yotsuba protested.

"Why?" I groaned. "That sounds like a huge pain. I'd rather just have fun wandering."

Yotsuba stuck her tongue out at me, and I just laughed.

"Group four!"

Simultaneously, we all scraped our chairs back, and stood up to get food. As we made our way into the line, I heard a rumbling sound next to me. Glancing over, I saw that Itsuki's face was bright red, her hands over her belly.

"I... I'm hungry!" she said, embarrassment flooding her cheeks with crimson. "Sue me!"

"I'm not judging you," I shrugged. "I'm hungry too. We didn't really have much to eat yesterday."

"That's true! Ooh, look Uesugi-kun, they have pancakes!"

We each grabbed food to put on our plate, Itsuki taking a generous helping of everything, and then returned to our table. The food was mediocre, even by the standards of my poor man's palette. Itsuki seemed rather disappointed, though she still finished every scrap on her plate. Nino was loudly complaining that she could have cooked better food at home -- which, as my tongue could now attest, was absolutely true.

It was still rude, though. The ryokan employees could probably hear her.

After breakfast was done, Nino once again departed with a call of 'I'm not sitting with this loser on the bus,' going to sit with her friends. The rest of us boarded the same bus after loading our suitcases into the hungry stomach of the beast. In doing so, the sisters unfortunately got a glimpse of my undersized baggage -- but none of them particularly seemed to care.

I need to stop worrying about these sorts of things so much. Seriously.

The bus ride to the camp grounds was mostly uneventful -- we had only been about an hour away under normal circumstances anyways when the teachers had decided to pull over. I noticed that Ichika was being a bit quieter than usual, but I chalked it up to the events of the previous night. She was most likely just tired -- she seemed perfectly friendly, after all; perhaps even more so than usual.

Miku, on the other hand, retreated entirely into her shell as soon as we got on the bus. She threw on her headphones, sat across the aisle from us, and spent the entire ride typing on her phone. At one point, I looked over, and saw that she was staring intently down at it, her brow furrowed with concentration.

Then, to my astonishment, her face split into a smile. After a few moments of practically grinning at her phone, Miku glanced up, then looked over at me, and the smile vanished immediately. She pouted, and looked directly away from me. Then, she began typing on her phone again.

I do not understand this woman.

After about an hour of duelling Ichika at cards (and sweeping Yotsuba and Itsuki aside like flies), the bus finally pulled into the camping grounds, deep in the heart of the Kiso mountains. The snow had mostly melted where we were, though the heights of the mountains were still coated in white. We disembarked from the bus, and were sorted once again into rooms.

For some godforsaken reason, they decided to go with the same groups as from the ryokan -- which explained how they'd come up with them so quickly the night before. Upon grabbing my bag and joining my group, I was immediately subjected to the rantings and ravings of Second Place-san, as well as Maeda's grumpy demeanour. The other three boys seemed tolerable, if a little... boorish at times.

I quickly came to the decision that I would spend as little time in my room as humanly possible.

After putting my bag down, I pulled out my phone and wrote an email to Yotsuba.

<Done putting my stuff away. Should I come find you?>

I sent it, but the email looked different from the usual -- the text seemed greyed out. Frowning, my eyes scanned the screen... and then I winced.

There was no cellphone reception. The email hadn't even sent.

So this is what it's like out in the boonies...

Grimacing, I shoved my phone back into my pocket, and decided that I would just find Yotsuba the good old fashioned way; i.e., I would simply look for her. Leaving my room, I wandered the hallways until I returned to the central area: a large room with a spacious first floor, and a wooden interior balcony surrounding on three sides. The inside was entirely constructed from thick wooden logs, giving the place a very rustic feel.

I spotted Yotsuba sitting in a comfy-looking armchair in one of the corners, near a fireplace with Ichika. There were just the two chairs, and therefore no chair for me -- so I just wandered over, and raised my hand in greeting. Ichika spotted me first, and raised her hand in return, a smile crossing her face. Yotsuba leaned all the way back in the chair to look up at me, and she grinned, her eyes closing.

"Welcome back, Uesugi-san! Are you ready?"

"To get lost?" I asked, circling and then sitting on the armrest of the chair next to Yotsuba, lifting one leg and settling it on my knee. "I was born ready."

"Yeah, great positivi-- wait, no! Uesugi-san, we won't get lost! We're gonna shoot for the top and win this thing!"

"In that case, I leave things in your hands, navigator Yotsuba," I said, bowing my head to her.

"Shi shi shi! Don't worry, Uesugi-san! I've got this!" she grinned again, rubbing her finger under her nose smugly.

"You seem quite confident, Yotsuba-chan," Ichika teased. "Don't forget that you have two unathletic people on your team. Even if you know where to go... big sis might still beat you there!"

"Eh... that's a good point. B-but! We'll still make it!" Yotsuba said, suddenly eyeing me up with a slightly nervous look on her face. "We definitely won't let you win, Ichika!"

"Look, I warned you," I shrugged. "The other unathletic person is Itsuki, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah," Yotsuba said. "It's teams of three, so she asked me if we could all go together last night. Oh-- wait, I should have asked if you were ok with it! I'm sorry, Uesugi-san!"

"It's fine with me -- Itsuki is more athletic than me, so any slow-down she causes us will just be a perturbation on top of whatever I cause."

"Great! Oh, it's almost ten -- we're supposed to meet outside."

I frowned. Somehow, I kept missing instructions from the teachers.

This could be a problem -- I don't want to miss any of the events we had planned due to staff incompetence.

I slipped off Yotsuba's armrest, and Yotsuba jumped to her feet. Ichika was a bit slower to rise, looking longingly back down at the comfortable looking armchair. As we left the lodge, I saw her stifle a yawn. Yotsuba bounded away as she spotted Itsuki sitting on some wooden steps across an open stone plaza, and I glanced over at Ichika.

"How late did you end up staying up to practice that script?" I asked quietly.

She smiled at me, her mouth still partially covered by her hand. "Later than I should have, probably. Silly me -- I forgot how competitive Yotsuba can be when it comes to physical activities. I had some coffee with breakfast though -- maybe I can get some at lunch too."

I frowned at the thought of coffee -- the stuff was far too bitter for me, despite its concentration-enhancing properties. Also, I had the distinct feeling that if I started drinking it, I would almost certainly develop a dependency on it.

"My, what's with the disapproving look, Fuutarou-kun?" Ichika asked, her tone turning teasing. "Are you trying to say you'd rather I was asleep? All... helpless?"

"I have no idea what you're trying to say," I growled, rolling my eyes.

"If you say so," she smirked, before sauntering away, her hands clasped behind her back over her sweater which, as ever, was wrapped around her waist.

I frowned, watching her walk away. It was just her usual teasing... but after seeing her honest side the previous night, it somehow rung false. Like it was a front she was putting up.

I suppose liars have to lie to protect themselves, I mused to myself.

"U-e-su-gi-saaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

My head snapped to the right at the call of my voice, and I saw Yotsuba hopping on the spot, waving with both arms. I snorted, and made my way down the short steps from the lodge to the plaza , crossing to meet with Yotsuba and Itsuki. As soon as I reached them, a loud whistle blasted out across the open area, and we all turned to see that our gym teacher was standing at the entrance to the lodge in a blue tracksuit and wearing a giant pair of sunglasses -- each of the lenses was about the size of his face , placed in giant foam frames . They were only staying on his face through sheer willpower and determination.

"Alright, listen up kids!" he yelled. "It's time for orienteering! Gather 'round, gather 'round! Now, during this eve-- Hey, Nakano! Take off your headphones! This event is not optional. Anyways, what was I saying...? Oh, right! Orienteering! As you've already been informed, this event takes place in groups of three, and we'll be using it as a fun group activity to get to know the campgrounds! So... get in your groups!"

Itsuki, Yotsuba and I were already together, so we just didn't move. Across the way, I could see Nino with two girls I didn't recognize, one with shoulder-length blond hair; the other's hair was long and black. Ichika and Miku were together, as well as a girl that I thought might have been the one who'd shared a room with them the previous night.

"Everyone in groups? Yes? Good. Chiezui-sensei will now come around with the first instruction sheet, as well as a compass for each group. Please don't look at the page until I say so."

A short woman with equally short brown hair who was presumably Chiezui-sensei began going from group to group, giving each a compass and a piece of paper stuffed together into a sealable plastic bag. When she arrived at us, she simply handed us the bag without saying much.

"We'll do our best, sensei!" Yotsuba said, thumping her closed fist to her chest.

"Hmm? Oh. Right. Good luck," the teacher said absent-mindedly, walking away. It was blatantly obvious that she desperately did not want to be participating -- which, on the one hand, I could empathize with, but on the other hand, struck me as being a bit of a spoilsport. After she'd finished distributing the bags, the gym teacher cleared his throat, and then resumed his bellowing.

"Right! Each of you has a location written on a piece of paper, as well as our starting location's latitude and longitude. On the back of your piece of paper, there is also a number, which is the group you're part of. Navigate to the location you're given, and there will be a sheet posted there with further instructions! Alright, that's everything, so--"

Another teacher came up behind him, and whispered in his ear.

"EH?! I forgot something? Nonsense, my explanation was perfe-- oh, wait, right. At each of the locations, there's a symbol written on the piece of paper. On the sheet you were given, there are five squares. Fill in the squares with the characters, and then navigate back here. There will be an official timer going. Let's start... NOW!"

Immediately, Yotsuba pulled open the bag, and pulled out both the paper and the compass. Tossing me the compass, she opened the paper.

"Alright team, let's rock and roll! We're group number four! Uhh... we're... uh, uh, Uesugi-san! I... don't know how to read these!"

"Pass 'em here," I sighed. She handed me the page, and I scrutinized it.

"Alright, looks like we need to head about one minute of latitude north, and about twenty-five seconds of latitude to the west."

"Eh?! How can you travel a distance, and have it be time?"

"Latitude and longitude are divided into subdivisions called minutes and seconds," Itsuki piped up, cutting across before I could answer. "As you might expect, there are sixty seconds to a minute, and sixty minutes to a degree."

I stared at Itsuki in shock, and she frowned back at me. "What? I do consider myself to be somewhat proficient at science, Uesugi-kun."

"Nothing, I was just impressed," I replied, shaking my head. "Anyways, uh... that's how it is."

"Ok, so we just need to go... one of those minute things to the north, and then... uh... just under half of one to the west, right? How far is that in real numbers?"

"That, I don't remember," I said, scratching the back of my head.

"A minute is about 1.8 kilometres, a second is about 32 metres," Itsuki said, grabbing the compass out of my hand. "So... that means we need to go... um..."

"We need to go 1.8 kilometres to the north, and around eight hundred metres to the west," I confirmed. "Though where we go from here..."

"Ah! Uesugi-san, turn over the paper!"

I flipped the paper over, and blinked. On the back was what appeared to be a detailed topographical map of the area.

"Well, that's helpful," I said, blinking. "Ah, the lodge is marked here... and apparently there are some cliffs to the east. Seems dangerous. We're supposed to go north-by-northwest... that would put us... here."

I pointed to a particular spot on the map, which was labelled "playground". Yotsuba let out a cheer, and then the three of us began to walk (well, speed-walk, really) towards the spot listed on the map. Yotsuba kept jogging ahead, and then coming back to us -- it was obvious that she was desperate to go faster.

"Come on, guys," she whined, pouting slightly. "We'll never get first place if we don't hurry!"

Putting aside the fact that her pouting face, which I saw only rarely, was adorable, I had to shake my head.

"If we go too fast, Itsuki and I won't be able to finish the circuit," I pointed out. "This is the fastest thing in the long run."

"I... I guess that's true..." Yotsuba said mopily, and she dropped back to join us again.

"Cheer up," I said, patting her on the shoulder. "We've got science-expert Itsuki with us, we'll be fine."

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me, Uesugi-kun?" Itsuki muttered from behind us.

"Huh?" I said, glancing back, my hand still on Yotsuba's shoulder. "Itsuki, I'm shocked -- I would never do such a thing."

"See, now I am certain that you're making fun of me."

"My, such cynicism from one so young!"

"We're the same age!"

"That simply exacerbates the problem," I fired back smugly. Turning back to face the way I was walking, I saw that Yotsuba's ears were slightly red. Frowning, I withdrew my hand from her shoulder, and looked back down at the map.

"There should be a bridge to our left..."

Looking up again, I saw that there was, indeed, a footbridge to our left -- a rickety affair, essentially just a sequence of planks held in place by thick ropes. The bridge ran over a small creek, only about ankle-deep. The bridge was wide enough for one person at a time, and so we crossed single-file.

The three of us had at this point entered the woods, following a dirt trail with shrubbery on either side marking the path. Occasionally, a branch would have a small orange flag tied to it to mark the way; but mostly, the trail was clear. We walked alongside the creek, its happy babbling providing a gentle backdrop to the hike. The trees all about us were mostly oak, as well as a few beeches. There were occasional patches of snow remaining in the shady parts of the woods, but for the most part it was shaping up to be a pleasant day -- the sunlight filtering through the still-present foliage left dappled patterns on the ground which shifted as the tree branches swayed in the gentle wind.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Itsuki said from the back. "It's so calm."

"I agree," I said, looking up at the trees towering over us. "I feel... strangely at peace."

Suddenly, I felt my foot strike a tree root which had slithered its way onto the path; it wasn't raised enough to catch my foot entirely, but it was enough to make me stumble. Given I'd been looking up at the canopy above, I'd not been paying attention to where my feet were going. As my face plummeted towards the ground, a single, strangely detached thought went through my mind.

Well. That was idiotic of me.

I closed my eyes in the face of the coming impact, my hands coming up to catch myself at a glacial pace -- but they weren't needed. I felt an arm slide across my chest, allaying my motion and preventing my impact with the forest floor. As I came to a stop, I felt five fingers splayed out across my chest, maximizing the surface area of contact.

"Uesugi-san! Are you ok?!"

I opened a single eye to see that my face was about two feet away from the ground; Yotsuba had heard me as I'd begun to fall, swung around, and had managed to catch me in the nick of time. She was at an awkward angle, though -- she'd essentially only managed to get one arm under me, using her upper-body strength to keep me in place. She was holding my entire body weight with the one hand, her arm running past my shoulder.

The fact she was capable of supporting me with one arm, despite the fact it was at a clearly uncomfortable angle... for the first time, it really dawned on me just how physically strong Yotsuba was.

She finished turning, and put her other hand under my shoulder, stabilizing me and using the opportunity to adjust her hand slightly. As she gently lowered me, I put my hands down to the ground, and then pulled up my legs so that I was hunched over; I was then able to stand on my own, Yotsuba's hands hesitated a moment before retreating from my chest, the pressure of her touch leaving behind a faint sensation of loss.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, inspecting my dirt-covered hands with mild disdain. "Thanks for the save. Those were some good reflexes."

"Shi shi shi! What can I say, I'm speedy!" Yotsuba said, winking at me. Then, she turned forward again, and pointed dramatically.

"Anyways, forward maaaaarch!"

It took us about thirty minutes in total to reach the end of the trail; when we did, the woods finally opened up into a large clearing with a children's playground in the middle. On the far side was a small parking lot, presumably for families with small children who didn't want to hike for half an hour through the woods just for their kids to play. There were a few cars parked there, as well as some children running around on the play structure. In the nearby sandpit, there was a large bendy plastic pole embedded in the ground, with a large flag attached to the end; it was a square shape, split along the diagonal. Half of it was white, the other half was orange. Standing next to the pole was one of our teachers, who was on his phone.

"Sensei! Hello!" Yotsuba called, dashing away from us at high speed to reach the teacher. I glanced at Itsuki, and we both sighed, before breaking into a light jog to catch up with her. When we finally caught up, Yotsuba excitedly showed us the sheet of paper that was pinned to the pole. Under group four, it had a different point of latitude and longitude listed. At the bottom of the page, in giant font, was a five-pointed star.

"Sensei, do we need to get our page stamped or anything?" I asked, holding out our original page.

"Nah, just draw the symbol in one of the boxes," he said, smiling. "Here, I've got a bajillion pens."

That's... not a real number, Sensei.

Itsuki took the pen, grabbed the page from me, and filled in the star. She then handed it back to me, and I turned the map over, noting the longitude and latitude of our current location on the map.

"Let's see... from here we need to go..."

The rest of the orienteering took about two and half more hours. Our next stop had been a set of grills powered by firewood rather than gas, each separated by low brick walls. It was apparently the spot where we would be making curry later in the afternoon. The teacher there had shown us a page pinned to a notice board next to the same orange-and-white flag, along with a warning to only light fires in the grills themselves; all other open fires were prohibited. The symbol was a fire emoji -- I'd learned enough at this point from Raiha and Yotsuba to recognize an 'emoji' when I saw it.

The next first of the next two stops was an old warehouse at the top of a small hill, where the flag was planted outside the front door along with the paper. The second of the two was a strange stone structure in the middle of the woods, which had the flag planted at the top, and a teacher swinging her feet from on high while munching on dried squid. When she had offered some to us, I respectfully declined.

Itsuki took the offer with zero hesitation. She was starting to get quite famished.

Those two stops respectively had a rectangle and a silhouette of the rock formation as their shapes. After writing them down, I had noticed (after getting down from the rock) that our final destination was on the far eastern side of the campground -- which was about as far away from where we were as it was possible to get.

It took us quite a while to get there -- but it was worth it. As we emerged from the woods on the eastern side, we found ourselves on actual wooden steps, with a metal railing in place to keep hikers firmly on the west side of the cliff face that abruptly began a mere three metres out from the woods. After ascending a shallow slope paved in wood, we stepped onto a relatively small, flat platform, and saw the valley at the bottom of the cliffs spread out before us.

After the sudden drop, the valley floor continued to slope away, trees and mossy boulders littering the descent as thickly as hair. On the other side, the mountains sharply rose again, displaying far grander cliffs and far greener grass. In the far distance, the tallest of the mountains soared far above the mere peasantry that were the providers of our present view, their snowy caps granting them the appearance of ashen crowns.

Nevertheless, the centrepiece of the scenery wasn't the faraway mountains -- it was instead the source of a dull roar that had begun to permeate our consciousnesses as we approached through the woods. It was the source of the white clouds flung into the air at such lowly heights as to be accessible to humanity by foot. It was the source of the river flowing off to the south through the valley.

The furious descent of water from stony sky to green earth.

Waterfall.

As I watched the water crash down, throwing spray into the air in a fine mist, I was overwhelmed by the majesty of the sight. Having never been to the mountains before -- I'd read about waterfalls before, of course, but there was just something different about seeing thousands of cubic metres of water crashing to the ground before your very eyes. It was... humbling.

I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around to see one of our teachers standing there holding a flag. The paper was attached to one of the guard rails; the symbol, appropriately, was a water droplet. The coordinates given were for the original plaza from whence we had originally departed -- and so, with not-inconsiderable regret, we left the viewing platform and plunged back into the woods.

When we finally returned to the lodge, there were already a good number of groups milling around, to Yotsuba's dismay. When we approached the gym teacher and handed him our sheet, he looked it over, gave a nod, and wrote down our names.

"Wh... what place did we come in, sensei?" Yotsuba asked, a barely-held note of hope infiltrating her voice.

"Hmm? Oh, twenty-third," he said dismissively, swiping his finger along some kind of tablet.

"How many groups were there in total?" I asked, wincing slightly.

"Twenty-nine."

I bowed my head deeply towards Yotsuba. "I'm really sorry, Yotsuba. We're really slow."

I half-expected Itsuki to make some kind of remark about not being considered on my level-- but she just bowed her head as well. Yotsuba looked bewildered, looking back and forth between us.

"Eh? G-Guys? What are you doing?!"

"Apologizing...?" I said, frowning slightly from my bowed position.

Yotsuba began shaking her head repeatedly.

"Raise your heads, please! You don't need to apologize! We... we had a lot of fun, didn't we?!"

I looked up at her, and then I could feel myself grinning, an expression which even after all this time felt a bit foreign on my face -- but an expression which accurately expressed the elation I was feeling after seeing the waterfall.

"Yeah, we did. Did you see that thing? It was amazing!"

"Right?" Yotsuba said, a huge smile breaking out onto her face. "I don't think I've ever seen such a big waterfall before!"

As we spoke, the last stragglers made their way back into the plaza, and the gym teacher received their sheets. Then, with all groups accounted for, he cupped his hands around his mouth, and his booming voice radiated outwards to envelop all the groups milling about.

"Good job, everyone made it back safe and sound, and with all five of the marks! Now then, it's time for the next super special mandated activity."

"Lunch?" Itsuki whispered hopefully.

"Lunch!"

"Yes!" she said, pumping her fist. "Let's go, guys! I'm starving!"

"I'm pretty peckish myself," I admitted. "Let's go eat."

Lunch was outside on a grassy field on the other side of the lodge. Long wooden tables had been set up with benches on either side. As we arrived, a line was already forming at a set of tables to the left with various stations set up; each station had a teacher standing behind it serving food. As we got in line, I suddenly remembered something, and frowned at Itsuki.

"Hey, Itsuki... weren't you on food prep duty? Do you need to be doing anything right now?"

She shook her head distractedly, her focus primarily on the sustenance that was slowly making its way closer and closer to us as we moved closer and closer to it.

"Since the schedule was thrown off, the teachers took care of lunch so we could fully participate in the orienteering. Dinner is curry, but we need to prep the tables and stuff. Oh, tomorrow we need to cook though."

I nodded, processing the new information. Then, a small smirk crossed my face.

"Hey, Itsuki?"

"Hmm?"

"I think you're drooling."

"What?!" she yelped, her hand slapping over her mouth in horror. Then, her eyes narrowed, and she glared at me.

"No, I'm not! Uesugi-kun, you asshole!"

I laughed, and Itsuki huffed and turned away from me. Yotsuba looked back and forth between us, clearly unsure if we were genuinely fighting or not -- so I just smiled at her, and after a moment she hesitatingly smiled back.

"Grub time, grub time! Get yer grub, it's grub time!"

Turning back around to face the teachers, I was struck by the sight of the gym teacher wearing a hot pink apron with a giant red heart in the middle, and text emblazoned above and below which read "Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club" in katakana. As we grabbed our plates, he loaded salad and spiced potatoes onto each, and then pointed to some salad dressing that was on the table as well.

"Help yerselves -- there's plenty!"

The next few stops featured teachers in much milder aprons, and more options: several meat dishes, rice, and also some fish. Since it was all free, I took as much as I wanted at each station. Eventually, after our plates were full, we left the food stops, and went to look for a spot at one of the tables.

"Oh! I think I see Ichika and Miku!" Yotsuba said excitedly, trotting off. We hurried after her, and found ourselves seated with Ichika, Miku, and the girl they had partnered with. As expected, Nino was nowhere to be found.

Her hatred of me really has only intensified, I thought glumly.

"Hey, Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba asked. "What do we have planned for after lunch?"

"Um," I said, putting down my fork, "There's free time after lunch, so we had a hike scheduled... but we kind of did a hike already."

"We can go again!" Yotsuba said, her eyes gleaming. I hesitated a moment, then sighed.

" ... Fine."

"Yay!" Yotsuba cheered, grinning. "More sights to see!"

" I'm going to pass on that," Itsuki said, looking up from her plate. "I think after all the walking we already did, I'm going to go lie down for a little bit and rest. I'm pretty tired."

"Suit yourself," I shrugged. Truth be told, I was also fairly tired -- but something in me di dn't want to disappoint Yotsuba.

A s I spoke, the hairs on the back of my neck prickled, and I recognized the familiar sensation of A-Nakano-Is-Staring-At-Me. Glancing around, I saw that Miku once again had her eyes firmly trained on me -- and then , she looked away as soon as I made eye contact. In the brief moment before she realized I'd spotted her, I was able to get a good look at her face.

Her expression was gloomy.

Perhaps that shouldn't have been a surprise; Miku, after all, often looked gloomy. Nevertheless, I couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted to join us -- but after another moment's thought, that struck me as ludicrous. Though I wasn't terribly close with Miku, I knew enough to be perfectly aware of her aversion to exercise. The idea that she'd want to go on a second hike was just silly.

It must be something else.

A fter we'd finish ed our lunches and bid farewell to Yotsuba's sisters (and the other girl, whose name I still didn't know) , we set out on the trails, just the two of us. There were still a set of paths that we'd yet to explore, and when we 'd been planning our schedule back home, I'd foolishly wanted to use the break after lunch to scout locations for the test of courage.

S o, explore we did.

Surrounded by the shady brush and the foliage overhead, we made our way through trail after trail after trail. Occasionally, we would come across points where the trees broke, yielding fantastic vistas. Eventually, we'd covered most of the path s that were in the woods near the lodge; however, there were also trails which were longer still, weaving and twisting their way up to the heights of the mountains.

Yotsuba had pled with me to hike just one , but I declined.

Mostly out of time constraints.

Definitely not because my hamstrings already felt like they were about to storm the Bastille and start learning the subtle art of guillotining for business and pleasure.

Instead, we returned to the lookout where the waterfall connected sky and stone, and stood together shoulder to shoulder at the edge. The narrow wooden boards and the metal railing separated us from the steep drop below, their sturdiness the only thing keeping us elevated. As the water crashed to the earth, throwing up its spray, I felt Yotsuba lean against me. I could feel the pressure of her shoulder against mine, luring in all of my attention. Compared to her, the waterfall was nothing.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it?"

I glanced down at her face, her eyes which were fully transfixed on the distant raging landmark, and her head which was tilted slightly, not quite making contact with my shoulder, yet only centimetres away. My view was partially obstructed by her bow, which playfully waved in the gentle breeze that was the sole remnant of the air thrown out of the way of the churning water. Yotsuba seemed... at peace.

I looked back ahead at the waterfall, and released a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"Yes... yes it is."

We stayed like that for a long time, her shoulder pressed against mine as we watched nature raging. I didn't want it to end -- but unfortunately, time has a horrid tendency o f marching steadily onward, and eventually , we needed to make our way back to the lodge for the second mandatory activity of the day, making curry.

U pon our return, we were separated into pre-determined groups. To my abject horror, I was put with Maeda, Second Place-san, and three girls I didn't know. As we started making plans for how to make the curry, I heard the ringing sound of an axe striking wood, and looked over to see Yotsuba swinging an axe in the distance, chopping logs . The pile of firewood next to her was just getting larger and larger and larger...

She looks like she's having fun.

"Uesugi Fuutarou, do you not agree? Indeed, when making a curry, precise timing is of the utmost importance!"

"Huh?" I said, turning back.

"Curses! Were you not paying attention?"

"I was not," I confirmed.

"Alas," Second Place-san sighed. "I shall have to resume from the beginning."

"Please don't."

"Ahahahaha! Nonsense! Now, when making curry, the first step is to put in..."

I tuned out Second Place-san's rambling and instead looked around at our setup. Maeda had stalked away and was crouched next to our curry station -- what exactly he was doing there, I wasn't sure. Glancing back, I saw that Second Place-san was still going. To my surprise, the girls seemed enraptured by his soliloquy. It was hard to admit, but perhaps it was due to the fact that, despite my feelings about him, Second Place-san had a fairly fair face.

If only his personality would follow suit...

Walking away from the explanation, I crouched down next to Maeda.

"Need any help?"

He glanced up at me, then back down at the base of the grill. There were a few twigs there, but not really enough to start a proper cooking fire.

"Yeah," he said roughly. "Go get some firewood. We ain't starting shit with this."

"Roger," I replied, standing up and making a beeline towards Yotsuba. At this point, her pile of firewood was starting to get absurd. As I approached, her axe slammed deep into a stump, splitting another log in half.

"Hey," I said, raising my hand. "Mind if I take some wood off your hands?"

"Eh? Oh, Uesugi-san! Go ahead -- I'm chopping it for everyone, after all."

"Much obliged," I said, giving a small salute. Then, I picked up a few chopped logs, and brought them back over under my arms.

Geez, these things are kind of heavy.

Returning to Maeda, I dropped the firewood next to him, and then sorted them into a pile. He glanced over at my ill-begotten gains, and then wordlessly grabbed one, and shoved it under the grill . He then took the rest and built them up in the shape of a tipi, before inserting the smaller branches and leaves that had already been present in the grill into the gap, building another smaller tipi underneath.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Buildin g the fire," Maeda growled.

"Yeah, but... why the tents?"

He seemed caught by surprise by my question, glancing up at me.

"Don't you nerd types know everythin g ?"

I shook my head. "Nobody knows everything. Besides, I've never been camping before."

"Huuuuuuuh," Maeda pondered, turning back to the logs. "Learn somethin g new every day."

There was a moment's silence, then he poked at the small leaves and twigs he'd put in the centre of the construction.

"That's the tinder. It'll go up hella easy, but it'll also burn hella fast. So, you just want to use it as a starter. It's not good for keepin g your fire goin g ."

I just nodded. I'd heard the term before, though I'd never really bothered to investigate what it really involved.

"The next layer is the kindlin g . It's a bit thicker, and will last a bit longer than the tinder -- but not as long as we need. So, I put the thinner kindling on the inside, so that it would catch from the tinder first. Then, it gets thicker and thicker, until we get to the big logs."

As he spoke, Maeda got more and more enthusiastic with his explanation.

"These big logs are the ones that'll actually do the cooking. They're the fuel logs. Hella hard to burn, but once you really get 'em goin', they'll go for ages -- and they burn hot, so if we need more, we can just add more once they fall down."

I nodded. I hadn't expected such a font of knowledge from the delinquent-looking boy, but I was pleasantly surprised.

"So..." I ventured. "The idea is to light the tinder in the middle so that you have a better chance to get the kindling going, which will last longer, and burn up through the pile until you finally have a strong enough flame to cook?"

"Pretty much," Maeda said, a crooked grin on his face. "Hey, wanna light this shit up ?"

"Uh... sure."

Maeda reached up, and grabbed a long lighter off the top of the metal grill , and handed it to me. I looked down and saw that it had a switch for safety. Flicking it off, I extended the elongated tip until it was deep in the tinder... and then I pulled the trigger.

There was a clicking noise, and a spark, and then there was a flame dancing at the end of the lighter. For a moment, it just flickered in place, illuminating the interior of the wooden tipi... and then the tinder lit, and I withdrew the lighter to see that the flames had begun to spread, dancing along the small twigs and leaves, devouring them in its ravenous waltz.

"Nice," Maeda grinned. "Now we wait, and hope."

The fire began to spread further, and before long the tinder was close to being consumed. We both waited with bated breath -- and then the kindling began to burn, and Maeda's manic grin got even bigger.

"Aw yeah, things are going smooth," he laughed. "Now, let's see..."

The fire spread along the kindling more slowly, but the flames almost felt like they had more weight to them; their movement was purposeful as they worked inwards as well as along the branches. Soon, the intermediate tipi was engulfed. I glanced over to see that Maeda was watching the whole construction with bated breath.

"Now we wait," he growled. "We'll wait and see if the fuel logs'll catch."

Just as he said that, one of the large pieces of firewood that Yotsuba had chopped began to smoulder, and then the bark caught fire with a crackling sound. The flames began to spread, rampaging across the exterior of the fuel log like they were preparing to conquer the steppes of Asia. Then, as the inferno grew larger and larger, the interior tipi finally collapsed, and the fuel logs dropped with it.

There was a brief moment when it looked like the weight of the larger logs had smothered the fire -- but then the one log that had caught continued to smoke, and the bark re-ignited. I whooped as the fire began to grow again, the fuel logs well and truly beginning to burn -- an unexpected reaction, even from my own perspective. Turning to me, Maeda grinned and raised his fist. While I'd never executed this particular gesture before, I recognized it, and knew what response was expected from me. I raised my own first, and bumped it against his with a grin on my face.

"Aw yeah, my man. We set that shit ablaze," Maeda laughed, the manic look back in his eye. "Damn, I love this -- fire rules."

"It's pretty cool," I acknowledged. "Thanks for teaching me."

"Yeah, no problem," he said, turning back to stare at the fire. "I guess we'd better start making the food, huh?"

"Probably," I said, my attention snapping back to where Second Place-san and the girls had sorted the ingredients and begun prep. "Though it looks like they've got it sorted."

"Yeah..."

There was a moment of silence between us, the atmosphere getting a bit awkward now that the elation of our temporary camaraderie had passed.

"Uh... Uesugi... can I ask you a question?"

"Oh. Sure, what is it?" I asked, frowning slightly and glancing back at the boy, who remained crouched by the blazing fire.

"You... seem kinda close to Nakano-san. Are... you two... y'know."

My frown deepened. "You mean Ichika? No, we're not like that."

"So... you're saying I've got a chance?"

I sighed. "Do you want me to be honest with you?"

Maeda looked up at me with a hard look on his face. "I don't need some pretty bullshit. Tell me the truth."

"No, you don't have a chance. She explicitly told me she has no interest in dating you, or anyone else."

I could see the boy crumple before my eyes, his face sagging -- and I immediately felt immensely guilty, even though I'd done exactly what he'd asked of me. Maeda turned to look back at the fire, studiously avoiding my eye contact.

"Huh. That so?" he muttered, gazing into the flickering flames. "Well... that's that, I guess."

"Yeah..."

The silence re-emerged, and as time went on I felt increasingly awkward. Finally, I decided to say something, just to ease the awkwardness.

"Uh... you know, I'm in charge of the test of courage tonight. Maybe you could ask a girl to go with you on it? Take advantage of the suspension bridge effect, you know?"

"The what?"

"The suspension bridge effect; the technical name is the misattribution of arousal, but-- nevermind, that's not important right now. Basically, you can try getting closer with a girl by having her get scared around you. Don't know if it'll help... but it can't hurt."

Maeda looked up at me for a moment, then sniffed, and looked back at the fire.

"I guess so..." he murmured, and in that moment he sounded almost... innocent. I suddenly got the feeling that under the hard exterior was a boy who was easily injured, and that the rough shell was just that -- a shell.

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Second Place-san and the girls, who began using the fire to make the curry and rice. At first, he tried to recruit Maeda, but he waved him off.

"I'll leave that job to you, sparkles," he growled, stalking away with his hands in his pockets.

We all watched him go, and then I turned to Second Place-san.

" Sparkles? "

"Indeed!" Second Place-san said, his hands on his hips and a grin on his face. "Why, 'tis because of my sparkling disposition!"

I frowned. You can't make fun of someone who experiences no shame.

The rest of us began working on the curry and rice. As we cooked , however, I noticed that Second Place-san was actually surprisingly efficient when it came to food preparation. His chopped ingredients were nearly perfectly even, and his technique in distributing them in the pot was good enough that even I could acknowledge its quality. While I was sure Nino would have found something to criticize, my uncultured eye was duly impressed.

The only problem was that occasionally, he would pause, a faraway look coming into his eye as he stared off into the distance. It was blatantly obvious that something was bothering him, though as soon as anyone spoke to him, he would snap out of it and return to his annoyingly grandiose self . On one occasion, as he paused with a deeply troubled look on his face, I turned to follow his gaze, but I couldn't quite make out what he was looking at -- until it happened that he began to zone out while pointing in a different direction from before.

I followed his line of sight , and to my surprise saw that he was watching a certain redhead leave her group to get more firewood from Yotsuba, who was standing next to a truly alarming pile of logs. As she picked one up , the star pins waved in her hair, and Itsuki returned to her group, dissolving back into the swarm of students.

Frowning, I turned to look at Second Place-san, who shook his head, and got back to work. It made sense that he was worried. His job was on the line, and I doubted his pedagogy or connection to the five girls had improved much over the course of the previous two weeks -- though I'd gotten enough reports from Itsuki and Yotsuba to know that it wasn't quite as bad as it used to be. Nevertheless, the fact he was watching her from afar made me wonder if perhaps he was trying to cook up some hare-brained scheme to get on her good side.

It's a fool's errand, I thought morosely.

Eventually, the curry was done, and we carried it over to the long tables where we were set to have dinner. The table was already set, courtesy of Itsuki and the others on food duty. Pouring out my portion into a bowl, I inhaled deeply, and then sighed contentedly. The curry smelled fantastic -- clearly, despite his numerous faults, Second Place-san knew what he was doing with regards to food.

As we ate, I watched the aforementioned Second Place-san, and I could clearly see that he was distracted, his eyes still occasionally flashing to Itsuki. However, eventually he turned, and caught me staring. I held eye-contact, and he gave me a big, cheeky grin.

"Ahahaha! Uesugi Fuutarou, are you admiring my countenance? My goodness!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, let's go with that."

"Now now, it's no good to lie , my dear fellow !"

I buried my head in my arms, sighing. "Why are you always like this? ! "

"Hmm? Like what?"

"Nevermind. Forget it. "

As I finished my curry and pushed my bowl away, I suddenly felt two hands squeezing my shoulders from behind . They felt light, and somewhat small. Before I even heard any words, I was already pretty sure I knew who it was.

"Uesugi-saaaan! Are you ready to go prep?"

"Yep," I said, grabbing my bowl and swinging my legs out from the bench. "Let's go."

Standing, I left Second Place-san and the rest of the group, and deposited my bowl at a station for dirty dishes. Then, I turned to Yotsuba.

"Well, guess we'd better get started!"

"Shi shi shi," she snickered, holding a hand to her mouth. "We'll scare the heck out of them! They won't know what hit them!"

"Yeah," I smiled. "One of the teachers brought supplies for the test of courage with them, so we can go grab them. They're apparently in a storage room in the lodge -- or at least, that's where they told me they'd be when I asked a few days ago."

"Come on, let's go!" Yotsuba declared, and then she grabbed my hand and started dragging me away.

As she pulled me, I could feel the softness of her hand in mine, and the firmness of her grip. I stumbled off balance, and then hurried to keep up with her as she dragged me away. D espite the amount of work that loomed on the immediate horizon , I couldn't help but smile -- both at her enthusiasm, and her touch.

Maybe getting assigned this job wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Chapter 24: Of Fear and Friendship

Chapter 24
Of Fear and Friendship

 

"Uesugi-san... I don't think that's very stable."

As I clung to the branch of the large tree, straddling it between my legs and wrapping my arms around it in an attempt to maintain my fragile balance, I could see what she meant. Both with regards to the paper lantern I was trying to hang from the bough, and also my own ability to defy gravity.

"Just... one more pull," I gritted my teeth, wrapping the thick cord along the rough tree bark one more time. "It'll stay once I tie it."

"Ok... If you say so."

Yotsuba surreptitiously positioned herself next to the branch, something I noticed only as I finished layering the cord, and then tying it off. The paper lantern, unlit, dangled and rotated, the cord twisting and coiling, before slowly releasing the built up potential energy and reversing the direction of its spin.

Sighing in relief, I sat up on the bough, and wiped my brow.

"I think that's the last one, Yotsuba. It's just the signs left, right?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded, studying the list on her phone which we'd made weeks before. The brightness of the screen illuminated her entire face from below, giving it an eerie, ethereal look -- not that I could see much of her face, anyways. Having already changed into her costume for the evening, her face was wrapped in bandages, leaving only one eye and her mouth exposed, as well as a fraction of her left cheek.

Scooching my way back to the trunk of the tree, I steadied myself, and then slowly swung my leg over the bough so as to not transfer the angular momentum into my torso -- I had no desire to go flipping over in the other direction. I then took a deep breath, and lowered myself. My upper-body strength was about as terrible as the rest of my physique, but I had enough to at least support my body for the second or two it took for me to reach a hanging position below the branch, and then drop the remaining half-metre to the ground. I crouched as I landed, and then shook my head.

"Why am I the one climbing trees, again? You're much more physically adept."

"Why thank you, Uesugi-san! I'm the one who has the list, though, and if my phone locks, I would need to come down again to unlock it every single time . "

I grumbled , but unfortunately it was a sound argument -- short of her giving me the passcode to her phone, this was the best solution.

" Anyways," I said, brushing off the small bits of bark and greenery that had gotten on my shirt and pants while tree-climbing. "Let's go over the list one last time."

"Sure, sure. Here."

Yotsuba handed me her phone, and I scrolled through the list we'd made together over several sessions in the school library.

"Shrine talismans?"

"Check."

"Creepy music near the entrance?"

"A teacher is running that, so check."

"Uh... oh, shoot, did we forget the eye-lights?" I asked, scratching my head.

"No, I put those in first," Yotsuba said, a smug look barely visible on her face in the harsh light of the phone screen. We'd planned to hide LEDs in various places in the forest off to the sides of the trail, positioned to look like red eyes in the darkness. "They'll definitely get a fright from that."

"Good, good," I grinned. "Paper lanterns are ' check ' as well since we just need to light them, so ... as we thought , just the signs left."

"Do you have them?"

I scoffed. "Of course I have them. This isn't amateur hour."

"Actually, we aren't getting paid, so I think it i--"

I pulled out a giant roll of police tape, and a cardboard sign with a giant arrow pointed on it. Interrupting her by tossing the tape to her, I withdrew another roll, as well as a further two signs from the huge duffel bag which had been used to transport the materials for the test of courage to the campsite. Leaving the bag under the paper lantern, Yotsuba and I walked to the beginning of the route.

Proceeding along the path, at various points we hung the tape along the side of the path, serving both as a reminder of all the horrors of the night -- but also as an occasional shepherding along the path, preventing our classmates from wandering off into the dark.

Eventually, we reached a fork in the trail, and I hung up the first sign, which had a giant arrow on it indicating that they ought to go right. We'd prepared the sign a few days before the trip. Flicking on the small LEDs attached to the bottom, the cardboard lit up in a flood of red light.

"Well, that should do it," I nodded. "Let's keep going."

Continuing to hang up tape every twenty metres or so, we eventually made it back to the duffel bag. I hoisted it over my shoulder, and then we continued along the remainder of the course. Eventually, we reached a second fork, and I hung up another sign.

"We're almost at the scare point," Yotsuba said, giggling. "I can't wait!"

"Yeah, they won't know what hit them," I smiled at her. "Let's keep going."

Continuing, we finally reached the point we'd designated as the 'scare point' -- a sharp bend in the trail where we could leap out in costume and jump scare unsuspecting high schoolers. After a long trek through the dark woods, I was certain we would get at least a few of them.

"Let's not put any tape here," I said. "That way, they won't suspect there's anything coming."

"Eh? If we don't put any tape though, won't it look more suspicious?"

"I... hmm. Actually, yeah, you're right."

Beaming, Yotsuba hung up the tape before the bend, and we carried on. Finally, we came to the final fork -- and I hung up the last sign, indicating to go right.

"That should be it!"

"Um, Uesugi-san..."

"Yes?" I asked, glancing at her.

"Doesn't that other path lead to the cliff?"

"Oh, right. Hmm... I suppose, after we scare people, we can just tell them about the path. That way, nobody will take it by accident."

"Oh. Ok! If you're sure."

We continued along the right-hand path, but after a few seconds of walking, I frowned.

"Actually... hmm."

I've spent enough time around various idiots at this point... to know that I need to idiot-proof things.

Turning back, I stared at the sign, its eerie red illumination visible even from this distance.

"Do you think that'll be enough, Yotsuba?"

She walked back to my side, and tilted her head.

"Hmm... I can kind of imagine someone getting really scared, and not noticing the sign, or forgetting we warned them."

"You're right," I concurred, frowning.

Walking back, I strung police tape across the entrance to the left-hand trail multiple times, essentially rendering it impassable without serious effort. Stepping back to admire my handiwork, I nodded contentedly.

That should stop any rampaging idiots.

Returning to Yotsuba, I took her roll of police tape and stored it in the duffel. Then, we walked to the end of the path; and began to backtrack. As we did so, we began lighting the paper lanterns that were hung sporadically along the route. Eventually, we reached the trail head, and found a teacher waiting there.

"Give us fifteen minutes and we'll be ready, sensei!" Yotsuba called, and the teacher in question nodded.

"Sounds good. I'll start sending groups in about twenty minutes, then. Sound good?"

"Sure," I nodded. "We'll be ready."

About ten minutes later, we'd returned to our scaring spot, and I put the duffel down next to the base of a tree slightly off the trail: a position where it wouldn't be visible from the path. Then, I unzipped it, and pulled my own costume out. The getup I'd chosen required far less work than Yotsuba's to prepare, and I'd been climbing trees, so I'd delayed donning it until we were fully prepared.

Yotsuba was just standing by the bend, idly watching me -- frankly, it looked as though she were zoning out.

"Uh, Yotsuba," I muttered, glancing at her. "Can... you look away for a minute?"

"Huh? O-Oh! Sure!"

Yotsuba turned away from me, but I was pretty sure her face, or at least the little sliver of her cheek I could see, had turned a bright pink colour. Shaking my head, I quickly slipped out of my shirt and pants, and threw on pitch-black jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt. Finally, I picked up a blond wig, and affixed it to my head, carefully pushing all of my black hair underneath the rim so that it wouldn't be remotely visible.

Then, finally, I picked up a clown's mask, and tied it to my face.

"I'm ready," I hissed.

Yotsuba turned back around, and eyed my costume up and down.

"Ooh, very good, Uesugi-san -- I'm sure you'll scare the heck out of them!"

"Thanks," I replied, lowering the mask to hang around my neck. "I'm actually pretty excited for this, now that the moment has come."

"I'm glad!" she said, smiling gently at me. "It'll be a good memory after all."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"We should get into position -- they'll be here soon."

I nodded as I pulled down my mask, and we moved back towards the trail. As we crouched next to the tree and prepared to stalk our prey, Yotsuba leaned over to me, and whispered.

"By the way... that blond wig actually looks superb on you."

I could feel my cheeks heat up, and I was suddenly deeply grateful -- both for the mask, and the darkness.

"Uh... thank you."

She just grinned at me, and then suddenly her face went blank as we heard footsteps approaching the bend.

"Ready?" she whispered.

"Born ready," I shot back.

As the inaugural pair doing the test rounded the corner, shivering, Yotsuba and I simultaneously leapt onto the trail. I yelled "BAH!" at the top of my lungs, and Yotsuba let out a high-pitched screech, her hands reaching for the face of the nearest of the two boys who had just rounded the corner.

Screaming, the two ran away -- as they fled, I noticed one of them was clutched onto the arm of the other. Nodding approvingly at the success of our scare, I turned back to Yotsuba.

"Great first scare," I smiled, and she grinned back at me.

"You too! Shi shi shi, this is gonna be great."

The next few test-takers, spaced five minutes apart, were about as easily scared. After the third, however, Yotsuba frowned at me.

"Hmm... I feel like you can do a bit more with your scares, Uesugi-san. You need to put your entire ass into it, you know?"

"My... entire ass?"

Yotsuba nodded. "Yep. Your entire ass. Not just part of it -- the whole thing."

"Like... this?" I frowned, turning my back towards the trail and sticking my rear out slightly.

Yotsuba stifled a laugh. "Yes. Yes, exactly like that. That's perfect."

I rolled my eyes at her. "So, what do you actually mean by that?"

"Like, in the last one -- you just yelled "BAH", but I feel like... your motions were kind of stiff. Try to feel the scare! Let the scare flow through your veins. BE the scare, Uesugi-san."

"Be the scare..." I murmured to myself. Frowning, I closed my eyes, and contemplated.

Be the scare... be the scare... be the scare...

"There's another group coming," Yotsuba whispered, her hand on my shoulder. "Do it, Uesugi-san. Be the scare. Channel the scare. Use the scare."

I nodded, my eyes still closed.

Be the scare.

"Here they come!"

As the next two people rounded the corner, Yotsuba screeched and leapt at them -- and I did the same, my hands reaching out, my fingers claws of shadow and blood, my eyes wide behind the mask, and a deep scream came forth from my lungs, a sound I'd never known I was capable of making.

"Holy friggin' shit!" Maeda shrieked, the girl next to him clinging to his arm, tears streaming down her face -- and the two of them fled down the trail.

"Yes!" Yotsuba shouted, pumping her fist. "Yes, Uesugi-san, YES! Feel the scare in your heart! Use its power!"

I bowed my head. "You are wise in the ways of the scare, Yotsuba-sensei."

"Ehehehe," she said, rubbing her finger under her nose smugly. "Praise me more!"

"You are... scary, Yotsuba-sensei?"

"Shi shi shi... no, wait, not like that!"

Laughing, I lifted my mask. "Well, thanks for the advice. I'll definitely scare the next set as hard as we scared Maeda."

"Eh? Who's Mae-- ohhhh, wait, right, the boy Ichika... wait, huh? That was him?"

"Yeah, it's... a long story. I'll tell you after we're done, maybe."

"Hmm... ok," Yotsuba said, shrugging.

"There's another group coming."

We leapt out at them, and I once again put my entire ass into it. The two girls shrieked, and bolted down the trail, and I grinned at Yotsuba -- not that she could see it, given the mask I was wearing.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this."

As the next few groups came through, we got into a rhythm, and terrifying our classmates felt almost like a background task. Every five minutes or so, we would leap out, screaming, and a pair would shriek and run. Of course, there were a few duds -- but for the most part, it seemed like people were truly getting frightened by our elaborate setup.

Thanks to that elaborate setup, however, between scares Yotsuba and I had nothing to do.

"Hey, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said after one dud, slinking back behind the tree which we'd made our hiding spot. "We should play a game."

"A game?"

"Yeah! Hmm... what should we play, though?"

"Um... something where we can still pay attention to people coming."

"I've got it!" Yotsuba said, pounding her fist on her hand.

"Did you even hear what I said...?"

"Let's play twenty questions!"

I sighed. "Why?"

Yotsuba grinned at me, and leaned closer. "I wanna know more about you, Uesugi-san!"

I paused at that. While I felt like I knew quite a few things about Yotsuba at this point... there were definitely things I didn't know. Small things, trivial things... and also maybe important things. There was part of me, and it wasn't a small part, that wanted to know more.

"Sure," I said nonchalantly, stretching. "I'm game."

"Shi shi shi! Excellent! Oh, but to make it more interesting... how about we bring it down to ten questions, and the guesser picks the theme?"

I frowned. That severely limited my guessing ability.

"Fine. It's not like there are stakes," I shrugged. "You can guess first, if you want."

"Ok! Um... Ok, let's do... your favourite food!"

"You know that already," I said, flatly.

"Oh, right. Curry. Um... oh! Let's do... favourite song!"

I frowned. I didn't think I had a favourite song. Though, maybe... I would go with that.

"Ok, do you have it?" Yotsuba asked.

"Yeah, I suppose. Go ahead."

"Was it released in the last thirty years?"

I laughed. "No." But barely.

Yotsuba continued to ask questions, trying to narrow things down -- but by only giving herself ten questions, she'd majorly handicapped her ability to winnow down the space of possible answers. By question seven, she was quite frustrated.

"Um... um... is it even by a Japanese artist?"

"Nope."

"Uesugi-san, you listen to Western music?!"

"Is that your question?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ack! No, no, I was just curious. Um... um... shoot, I don't know Western music! This is hard... hmm... is it rock and roll?"

"Definitely not," I laughed.

"Hmmm... do you know the song by heart?"

"Yes."

It's not like it's particularly difficult -- apart from the first line, there aren't any words...

"Oh geez oh geez oh geez.... I have no idea. Why did I do this to myself?" Yotsuba moaned, gently banging her head against the tree.

"Last guess," I grinned. "This is fun."

"You're having fun watching me suffer?!"

"You did this to yourself," I shrugged. "Also... yes?"

She stuck her tongue out at me, and I laughed again.

"Um... oh! OH! I have it! Is it... that song you sang when you taught me to whistle?"

I was stunned. After a second, I recovered myself, realizing that she hadn't actually guessed.

"Which is...?"

"Uesugi-saaaaan! That's not fair!"

"You need to guess the song, not guess the vague idea of the song."

"Ughhhhh, I have no clue what it was! I'd never heard it before!"

I shook my head in sympathy. "Fine, I'll give it to you... if you can whistle a phrase of it."

Yotsuba pouted, but then closed her eyes.

"Um... how did it go...?"

Slowly, haltingly, she started to whistle the theme to Star Trek: The Next Generation -- or at least, something very, very vaguely approximating it. Nevertheless, there was something genuine in the way she pursed her lips and tried her best to make the sound come out. It was, if nothing else, a solid effort.

It still sounded more like a child blowing raspberries, though.

"I'm impressed you remembered it," I said, smiling. "Yeah, I'll give it to you -- that was it."

"What is it, anyways?"

"The opening theme for an American television show. I watched the Japanese dub of it all the time with my dad when I was little, back when we had a TV. You would really like it, I think."

"Huh... I'll need to check it out."

"Or maybe not," I smirked. "It's relatively devoid of action scenes."

"Hey! I like stuff besides action, Uesugi-san! I just also like action!"

"I know, I know. Ah, there's somebody coming."

We went silent, then leapt out as another pair rounded the corner -- a boy and a girl. The boy shrieked and latched onto the arm of the girl, who looked completely unperturbed. She gave us both a cool look, nodded, then glanced down at the trembling boy, and a half-smile crossed her face. Nudging, she shepherded him down the trail, and they were gone.

"Whoo, that was a good one!" Yotsuba grinned, wiping her brow. "Ok, your turn, Uesugi-san!"

"Uh... sure, let's go with... your favourite animal."

"Shi shi shi, you're not gonna get it," Yotsuba snickered. "Go ahead, Uesugi-san! Do your worst! I dare ya!"

"Ok, sure. First question... is it typically found in the Americas or Oceania?"

"Um... no!"

"Is it stereotypically associated with a particular biome?"

Yotsuba started to sweat.

"...Yes."

"Can you find this animal both in and out of Africa?"

"...These are very specific questions, Uesugi-san," she said, narrowing her eyes. "But... yes."

"Just guessing," I said, frowning. "Hmm... is it possible to find this animal anywhere in the eastern part of Asia?"

"Yep!"

"Just to clarify, on that last question, I meant in the wild, not in a zoo. That's a clarification, not a question."

"Still yes," Yotsuba said.

I frowned. That answer threw me thoroughly off track.

"Hmm. That's four guesses. It's not found in the Americas or Oceania. It's stereotypically associated with a particular biome. It can be found both in and out of Africa, and it can be found in the wild in eastern Asia."

"Yep."

I scratched my cheek. "You're right, this is hard. Umm... is it a breed of cat, large or small?"

"Nope."

That's five. Shoot.

"Has it been domesticated by humans?"

At that, Yotsuba frowned. "Um... well, maybe. Sort of. I'll go with yes."

"Well, that's just confusing."

"Yes. The answer is yes."

"Alright..." I pondered, scrunching my eyes shut. Domesticated. Both Africa and not. Not Oceania, nor the Americas. Not a cat. Associated with a particular biome... and found in eastern Asia?! What the hell...?

"I think I need to assume I'm missing a key piece of information here," I frowned. "Is this animal ever found in the wild in Europe?"

"I don't think so. If it is, it's probably only a few."

Seven... crap, I'm running out of guesses.

"Hmm... do people typically ride this animal?"

"Yes."

I frowned. "There are horses in the Americas, so it can't be that, but maybe it's another pack animal of some kind..."

"Is that a question?"

"Ah, no. Sorry. Let me think."

I put my head in my hands, trying to block out external stimuli while I thought. The pieces didn't really fit, and the thing about eastern Asia was really throwing me off... but...

"Ok, question nine -- has it historically been ridden by Bedouin people?"

"Yep! You've basically got it."

I looked up at her in sheer confusion.

"Is it... a camel?!"

"Wow! I'm super impressed, Uesugi-san! Yep, it's a camel!"

I shook my head. "Since when are there camels in eastern Asia?!"

"Shi shi shi! Looks like there's something I know that Uesugi-san doesn't!" Yotsuba snickered. Then, she straightened up, and put her closed fist over her chest as though reciting a pledge. "Indeed, my good fellow, indeed! While the dromedary camels that you may know and certainly love are native to North Africa and the Middle East, the Bactrian camel is resident to the Gobi desert of China and the steppes of Mongolia -- which range into eastern Asia!"

I stared at her, dumbfounded.

"And... that's your favourite animal?"

"Yep!" she grinned. "I guess I just like grumpy things."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know you do. That's why you keep me around."

Yotsuba laughed. "You're not that grumpy, Uesugi-san."

"I can be," I said, shaking my head. "You just haven't seen my full-power grump."

"No, I'm pretty sure I have," she said. "When we first met, you wanted nothing to do with me -- you were pretty grumpy! I had to chase you all over the place just to get you to thank me for returning your test."

"If I'd really wanted nothing to do with you, trust me, I would have been a lot worse," I chuckled. "Remember, I was far ruder to Itsuki."

"That... that's true," Yotsuba said, and though the faint light of the hanging paper lanterns wasn't nearly enough light to make out anything, I almost thought I could see a pale pink through the sliver of a gap over her left cheek.

Suddenly, I heard the distant sound of footsteps.

"Next round after," I muttered, crouching.

Yotsuba nodded. Tensing, we both got into position, and then leapt out from our hiding spot, screaming -- and got absolutely no reaction whatsoever from either Ichika nor Miku.

"Oh, boo," Yotsuba said, frowning and standing up again. "You two aren't scareable."

"Hmm? Oh, sorry -- ahhh! I'm very scared!" Ichika said entirely unconvincingly, her tone teasing as she raised her hands in mock fright. Miku didn't even put in the effort. She just looked me up and down, unimpressed.

"If you're going to fake it, at least put some effort in," I sighed, pulling my mask off. "I know you can do better than that, Ichika."

She gave me a sharp look -- and then suddenly grinned as the mask fully came off, dropping to my side.

"Mmm, Fuutarou-kun... did you dye your hair? It looks great -- blond really suits you."

"Uh... thanks. No, it's a wig."

"Is that so?" Ichika said, smiling. "That's too bad. You should consider it."

"I'll pass, thank you," I said, glancing away from her. "I... don't think that would be a very good idea."

"Why is that? I think it looks good."

"Reasons."

"My, how cold of you, Fuu...tarou..."

Ichika trailed off, and she just stared at me. Then, she squinted her eyes, suddenly lost in thought.

"Let's go, Ichika," Miku said, quietly speaking for the first time.

"What? Oh, uh... right," she said distractedly, still staring at me. She started to slowly walk away... but then stopped, turned around, and came back, inspecting my features at an extremely close range.

"Ichika...?" I asked, uncomfortably.

"I can't shake this feeling," she said, her brow deeply furrowed, "that we've met somewhere before."

"Yeah, you said that the other day," I said, trying to look anywhere besides her inquisitive eyes. "I thought we'd already established that it was just deja vu."

"Yeah... maybe," Ichika said slowly, doubtfully.

"Ichika, let's go," Miku called, a note of impatience entering her voice.

"Just one second!" she called back. She leaned in even closer, her eyes flitting back and forth across my face.

"You're too close. Can you please back u--"

"Cards...?" she muttered to herself, completely ignoring me. Then, she shook her head. "No, that's not possible."

"Ichika, what the hell are you talking about?" I complained.

She pulled back, and glanced sharply over at Yotsuba.

"Yotsuba-chan?"

"Y-Yes?"

I turned to look at Yotsuba, but I couldn't really see her face at all, the combination of the bandages and the darkness of the night-time forest rendering her face practically inscrutable.

"I've got a question for you," Ichika said, her voice serious.

"Ichika, come on! I'm sick of waiting in the woods!"

She sighed, and glanced over at Miku. "Nevermind, I'll ask you later."

"Um... ok," Yotsuba said, her voice broadcasting sudden nerves for all to hear.

"I will ask you, though. There's this tickle in my brain, and I have to know."

Yotsuba silently nodded. Ichika smiled, waved goodbye, and then hurried after Miku, who was waiting further down the trail, her body language screaming irritation. Then, both of them were gone into the night, leaving behind a Yotsuba whose own body language indicated only one thing: she was rattled.

"Yotsuba?" I asked, frowning. "What was that all about? Why would Ichika want to ask you a burning question after staring at my face?"

"Um... um..."

Yotsuba can't lie.

"I... don't really want to talk about it. Sorry, Uesugi-san," she said, glancing away from me. "It's between me and Ichika. At least... I think it is. I don't know exactly what she's going to ask, of course."

I blinked several times.

Ah yes, the tried and true method -- avoidance.

Silent for a moment, I stared into the darkness of the forest, mulling my thoughts.

Ichika was wondering if we'd met before, and started pressing Yotsuba on it. That... doesn't make sense. It would imply, if we had met before, that I'd met both of them, since otherwise Yotsuba wouldn't have any knowledge of it that Ichika didn't. While highly unlikely, it's possible I could have met one of them before, through some strange coincidence of fate.

But... if I met more than one, things change. It becomes a different scenario entirely; I almost certainly would have met all of them in that case.

I would definitely remember meeting quintuplets; and I don't.

Ergo...

I can't have met them before.

I eyed Yotsuba, who was staring at the ground. That was enough to settle the question for me.

There must be something else going on here, then. It clearly involves me too, somehow -- it's not just between the two of them. But... if she doesn't want to talk about it, then...

"Ok. I won't push the subject."

Yotsuba looked up at me with a weak, grateful smile on her face, and I instinctively patted her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," I added. "If you want to talk to me about it, then you can. If you don't, that's also ok."

Yotsuba nodded, and then looked away. We were silent as we returned to our spot behind the tree, the half-light making her look all the more forlorn. It was obvious that what Ichika had said -- or rather, had almost said -- had shaken her, though as to why that was, I had no idea. When the next group came through, Yotsuba and I leapt out to scare them, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it at all.

As we retreated to the tree, I leaned against it.

"Your entire ass."

Yotsuba frowned at me. "Huh?"

"You need to put your entire ass into it. That's what you said, right?"

"I..."

"Entire ass," I shook my head. "Not half-ass, or quarter-ass. Entire ass."

Yotsuba was quiet for a moment. Then, she sighed.

"You're right. Sorry, Uesugi-san."

"It's fine. You'll just worry me if you get all quiet and demure like this. It doesn't suit you."

"Is... is that so?" Yotsuba laughed, though I could tell her heart still wasn't in it at all.

We were quiet for a moment, just standing in the shadows cast by the branches intercepting the light of the hanging paper lanterns, and I suddenly found myself wishing I could see her face. I glanced over at her, and found that she was staring at me, biting her lip nervously as though she were trying to convince herself of something -- but of what, I wasn't sure.

"Uesugi-san?" she suddenly asked.

"Yeah?"

"I... I have a question for you."

"Sure," I said, furrowing my brow. "Go for it."

"Tell me... why do you study so hard?"

The question caught me completely off-guard. I'd been asked it once before, by Itsuki... but I hadn't expected it now, and from Yotsuba of all people. Looking away from her, I pondered how to answer. I didn't want to deflect... but I also still wasn't sure whether I wanted her to know.

It might be fine if it's Yotsuba... but it's a precious memory. It's something I cherish. Somehow, sharing it... it almost feels like too much.

"It's... complicated," I said delicately.

"Please tell me," she said, and there was a hard look in her eye .

I bit my lip in turn , and stared into the darkness above her. My desire to comfort her competed with my desire to keep my secret. In the end, they came to a sort of stalemate, neither truly able to gain the upper hand.

Indecision.

"I... want to give my dad and my sister a comfortable life," I said eventually. "In order to do that, I need to get a good job. In order to do that , I need to go to a great university, and in order to go to a great university, I need stellar grades."

It was true -- I hadn't told any lies. That was, ultimately, my motivation.

It just wasn't the entire truth.

Yotsuba was quiet for a long while -- a minute, maybe more. When I looked back down at her, I saw that she was looking down at my feet... and her lip was trembling. I was entirely unsure what to make of that, and I started feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

I don't understand anything that's happening here.

"Is that so?" she eventually said, looking up and smiling at me weakly. "Is that really the entire reason? It doesn't seem that complicated. "

I glanced away from her again. Then, I sighed, and shook my head.

"No. There's another reason, but... sharing it feels wrong. It's a promise that I made, a long time ago. One that I have every intention to keep -- it's very important to me. But... the details of that promise are something I've kept private for a long time. I... sorry, Yotsuba. I still want to keep that to myself, at least for a bit longer. It's precious to me."

I turned back to look at her, and cursed again the bandages that were wrapped around her face -- there had never been a moment when I wanted to be able to read her face more. Her eye s -- or at least, the eye I could see -- were wide, and I could see that she was biting her lip quite hard ; I was worried she would draw blood . There was some kind of emotion that she was fighting desperately to keep in, and with the obstruction of her face, I had no idea as to what it was.

" I... see," she eventually said, turning away from me. "...Ok."

There was pain in her voice, and it frustrated me, because I didn't know why .

Out of nowhere, my conversation with Itsuki months before drifted into my head -- memories of the icy cold balcony where we'd forged our friendship .

"If I do hurt you again, please... just tell me what I did."

Shaking my head, I focused again on the girl in front of me.

"Yotsuba?"

"...Yes?"

"What's wrong? Why are you so upset? What... what did I do?"

Yotsuba turned back to me, and let out a laugh. It was clearly forced.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Uesugi-san. I did. It was entirely me. Sorry, I-- this is my own shortcomings coming and biting me in the butt. Don't worry about it. Please."

"But--"

"This is just... my own stupidity." Yotsuba said, shaking her head. "Let's drop it, please."

"Your own stupidity? But you're clearly hurting, and I--"

"Please." she whispered, her voice quavering, and I took that as a sign that the conversation was over -- or at least, that it should be over. I had the overwhelming sense that the longer this went on, the more hurt Yotsuba would get.

What... what can I do for her? Why is she acting like this?

I felt helpless -- and I hated it.

I can't do anything to help if I don't even understand the problem.

Then, a thought struck me, and I went over to the duffel bag that was still slung at the base of the tree, squatting down next to it, my back turned to Yotsuba.

The least I can do is to try and cheer her up.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, what are you--"

"One second," I said, rummaging through the bag and finding the clothes I'd been previously wearing. "I have something for you. I totally forgot about it with everything going on."

"...Huh?"

Shoving my fingers into my previous pants' pocket, I rustled about, and then pulled out the item that had been contained within.

"Here. Give me your hand."

Confused, Yotsuba extended her right hand, but I shook my head. "The other one."

I was sure I was imagining it, given the dismal lighting and the bandages, but I thought I caught another hint of pink through the gap of the costume on her face. She held out her left hand, and I slid the bracelet which Raiha had crafted for her onto her wrist.

"H-Huh? Uesugi-san, what... what is this?"

"It's a charm," I said, smiling. "Raiha made it for you. She's a big believer in that stuff."

"I... thanks. That's really sweet of her," Yotsuba said, smiling weakly back at me.

"Yeah, see?" I said, holding up my left wrist, where my own present dangled. "Now we match."

"Is... is that so?"

"Yeah," I nodded sagely. "Yours is quite a bit nicer, though. Imagine, my own sister put more work into your charm than mine. The betrayal, I swear."

Yotsuba chuckled softly, and that time it was real; and even if it was quiet and weak, I immediately felt my heart lighten.

"I... I guess she just likes me better, Uesugi-san!" she said, wiping her eyes with the back of her fingers and smiling at me. I grinned at her.

"Right?" I sighed dramatically. "It's terrible. I'm heartbroken."

"Geez, Uesugi-san -- sometimes I wonder if you love your sister a little bit too much."

"Impossible," I said, shaking my head. "Have you met Raiha? It's not possible to love her too much."

"True, true," she nodded. "I would marry you just to have Raiha as a little sister. She's that cute."

I bonked her on the head. "Listen to what you're saying, idiot. Having Raiha as a little sister isn't worth that."

Yotsuba laughed, an honest, genuine laugh, and after a second I joined her.

Then, I pulled up short. "Hang on, come to think of it... hasn't it been a while since we had someone come by?"

"You're right," Yotsuba frowned. "That's... odd..."

Then, her eyes widened in embarrassment, and I turned to see that there was someone hiding on the other side of the tree, watching us.

"Alright, you can come out now," I said resignedly.

"Well, well, well!" a certain irritating blond boy said as he popped out from behind the tree. "It was truly gallant of you, Uesugi Fuutarou, to grant Nakano-san such a boon! Truly, you are both blessed! Ah, to be young and in lo--"

"You can leave now," I spat, grabbing him by the shoulders and steering him back onto the path. I looked over my shoulder to see that one of the boys from our room was with him -- I vaguely recognized him as the one who'd given me the heads up about breakfast that morning.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "He didn't want to interrupt."

"Just... get him out of here, please," I sighed. The boy nodded, and gently led Second Place-san away from our spot.

"No! Let me go back! I must bear witness to this passiona-- wait, wh-what are you doing? Unhand me! Unhand me this instant! I didn't consent to being princess carried!! Nooooooo--"

Then, they were gone.

I turned to look at Yotsuba.

There was a moment's pause...

Then, we both burst out laughing.

"What the hell was that?" I gasped. "He got princess carried away? Oh my god."

"Right?!" she wheezed.

After about a minute, we calmed down, and got back into position -- but we both kept occasionally breaking into fits of giggles. It was infectious: whenever I broke, Yotsuba broke, and whenever Yotsuba broke, I would break.

Eventually, we managed to suppress the laughing, and not a moment too soon, as another group rounded the corner, another group of two boys. We both leapt out at them, screaming our heads off, and the two of them bolted away, shrieking in terror. Chuckling, we high-fived, and then returned to our spots.

The silence slowly grew again as we crouched in waiting, and then I sighed.

"Yotsuba?"

"Yeah?"

"...I hope that charm keeps you protected from whatever you're scared of."

Yotsuba just turned to look at me... and then she gave me a small, sad smile, and turned to look back towards the path.

"Thanks, Uesugi-san... but it can't protect me from something that's already happened."

We were silent for a moment, and I had a distinct feeling I'd stuck my foot in it.

She wasn't kidding about having a dark, tragic past after all, was she? I should have just kept my mouth shut -- things were getting better.

Then, Yotsuba suddenly leaned over, and bumped me with her shoulder.

"Sorry."

"Huh?" I frowned, confused. "What are you apologizing for?"

"This is supposed to be fun, and I'm just being gloomy. Ichika rattled me a bit, but I'll be fine. Let's keep doing our best to scare the crap out of them!"

"Sure," I smiled, bumping her shoulder back. "If you do decide to tell me about it eventually, though... I'm here to listen."

"...Yeah. Thanks," Yotsuba murmured, a soft, almost tender smile crossing her face.

The next few pairs were easy scares -- and then we got a couple who were holding hands, and were far more interested in each other than they were either of us. When we leapt out, the girl just looked at us in disdain, and sniffed.

"Come on, Shou-kun. Let's keep going. I don't want any more... scares."

"Ah, don't worry, Akane. I'll protect you!"

The two walked off, the girl wrapped around the boy's arm, and I just stared after themselves

That was almost as bad as Ichika's script.

"Uesugi-san?" Yotsuba asked questioningly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just annoyed," I said, shaking my head. "Oh well, they can't all be winners."

"True. Let's give the next group an extra special scare!"

We crouched in place, and as we heard footsteps rounding the corner, I leapt out, my hands stretching forth like a zombie, screaming my head off. Yotsuba also leapt out, shrieking like a banshee.

"AHHHH, OH MY GOD NINO IT'S A MUMMY, I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE!"

Before us, Itsuki was clung to Nino's arm like her life depended on it, tears streaming down her face in fear. Her older sister sighed, and shook her arm, dragging Itsuki around as she tried to dislodge her.

"You're not gonna die," she scowled. "Let go of me, please."

"Noooo, don't leave me alone, Ninooooo," Itsuki whimpered, refusing to let go.

"Don't worry, Itsuki," Yotsuba said brightly, stepping past me. "It's just us!"

"H-h-huh?" she shuddered, looking up at us with teary eyes. "N...not a real mummy?"

"Itsuki," I sighed, pulling my mask off. "Mummies can't move. We're just here to scare you."

"That's so mean!" Itsuki pouted, her lip trembling.

"The event was optional, why did you even come?" I frowned.

"Ninoooooooooo."

I looked over at the named offender to see that she was just staring at me, her eyes wide.

"What?" I said, frowning.

To my absolute shock, her face turned a bright red, and she looked away from me.

"Nothing," she muttered.

"It's not nothing, you're acting weird," I frowned. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, it's... it's..."

"Spit it out."

"Ah, god, you're so damn annoying!" Nino spat. "It should be illegal, damn it!"

I looked at Yotsuba, and she shrugged.

"...Uh, what should? My being annoying?"

"Ugh, nevermind! Itsuki, we're going."

"Niiiinooo," Itsuki cried, holding on to her arm as her older sister dragged her away. "Don't leave me behiiiiiind."

"Nerds like that aren't friggin' allowed to be hot," Nino muttered as she left. "God, with the blond hair, he's exactly my type. This sucks so much."

I could only assume that she had thought we were out of earshot -- but my face immediately heated up, and I turned away, covering my mouth in embarrassment. Yotsuba looked at my face, then back at Nino-- and then started cackling.

"Well, well, well, Uesugi-san -- got the hots for Nino, huh?"

"Hardly," I muttered. "You know my feelings on love. It... It just caught me by surprise."

"She's gonna be so embarrassed when she realizes you heard her," Yotsuba teased.

"Please don't tell her. She'll be mortified."

"Ah, fine, I'll have mercy. Unless she decides to be mean to you again... then I might let her know."

"How petty of you," I muttered. Yotsuba just stuck her tongue out at me, and then laughed.

Several more groups came through, and I was relieved to see Yotsuba getting fully back into the thrall of the scare. At one point, she decided to climb the tree, and hang down from the bough to scare passers-by. I was a bit concerned, since visibility was practically non-existent, but she seemed fine. If anything, it improved her enjoyment, which was the only thing apart from her safety that I really cared about.

Eventually, we scared two girls who grabbed each other and ran away, and then I pulled out my phone.

"It's been about an hour and a half... I guess we must be close to being done, huh?"

"Yeah, with a group of two going every five minutes, we probably got almost everybody."

As if on cue, a teacher walked around the bend a few minutes later. We leapt out to scare them, but they were essentially unperturbed.

"Uesugi, Nakano," they said, nodding. "I just came to let you know that the last group went through -- so, you're done for the night. Good job."

"Thanks, sensei," Yotsuba grinned. "It was a lot of fun!"

"It was," I concurred. "We should probably start cleaning up though, right?"

"Not tonight," the teacher said, shaking their head. "It's too dark, it wouldn't be safe. Just make sure to put out the paper lanterns, they could be a fire hazard if left all night. You can clean up in the morning."

We nodded, and then the teacher left. I picked up the duffel bag, unzipped it, and threw my mask inside. Then, I closed it, and hoisted it over my shoulder. I would change back at the lodge.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

Yotsuba nodded, and we stepped onto the trail together. Walking along until we reached the end of the path, we then back-tracked, blowing out the small tea candles inside of each paper lantern one by one. Eventually, we reached the head, where Yotsuba extinguished the last one.

"I guess that's it," I mused. "Good job, Yotsuba -- and thanks again for all the help."

"No problem, I had a lot of fun," Yotsuba smiled. "Besides, you're going to help me with the campfire, right?"

"Yep. A deal is a deal, after all," I smiled in return. "We should go, though. They've probably already started moving the logs."

"Sure."

As we exited the forest, and stepped back out into the large clearing in which the lodge resided, I suddenly stopped, and turned to Yotsuba, a quizzical look crossing my face.

"Hang on," I frowned. "I just realized something. Why couldn't you have just temporarily disabled the passcode on your phone?"

"Huh?" Yotsuba asked, confused.

"When we were setting up. You made me climb those trees because I couldn't get into your phone if it locked."

"Uh..."

Yotsuba looked at me. She looked at her phone. Then, she looked back up at me, grinned sheepishly -- and then bolted.

"Damn it, Yotsuba!"

As she disappeared into the night, I could hear her laughter floating back on the wind... and despite myself, I couldn't help but shake my head and smile.

Chapter 25: Eternal Rivalry is Difficult

Notes:

Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you all know that, with us now entering September, there might be a slowdown in how often I'm publishing chapters -- I'm not yet entirely sure how busy I'll be this coming fall. At absolute maximum, I may drop back down to a schedule of a chapter every 2-3 weeks. Hopefully the dropoff is less than that.

Also, a content warning: there's a reference to domestic abuse in this chapter. I've updated the tags on AO3 to include it (FF.N doesn't have a tagging system, so nothing I can do there), but I figured I ought to add a warning to the chapter itself.

Chapter 25
Eternal Rivalry is Difficult

 

In the course of my studies, I'd stumbled across some of the grizzlier sides of history. Torture devices, waterboarding, days without sleep... there were a wide variety of ways that humans could exact pain onto others, and those arts had been perfected by the darkest elements of society over the centuries.

Nevertheless, I was fairly certain I'd discovered the pinnacle.

My muscles screaming in agony, I lifted yet another large log designated for the bonfire; or, more accurately, one end of a log. On the other, Yotsuba was looking back at me with a blank look on her face, only the barest of hints of pity detectable in her eyes.

It was enough. I felt pathetic.

"Uesugi-san... do... do you think you'll be ok?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine," I panted, not capable of even lifting one hand from the log to wipe my brow -- if I allowed my grip to loosen even slightly, the log would certainly smash to the ground, and make the acquaintance of my foot. "This is just... just a bit heavy."

"If you're sure," she said doubtfully. "Um... remember to lift with your legs, Uesugi-san!"

"Noted," I hissed painfully, and we began to carry the log down the eternally long slope leading from the warehouse to the lodge. The flag from the morning's orienteering had long since been removed, and in its place was a steady stream of students transporting logs. This was our fourth trip already, and my arms were on the verge of giving out.

"Now now, Fuutarou-kun, I know you can give it a bit more. Come on, now."

The teasing voice came from behind me, and I turned my head to see Ichika carrying her own log with another girl. She winked at me as they rapidly passed us, our slowness caused entirely by my own weakness. Frowning, I squared my shoulders, and lifted the log a bit higher.

"Let's keep going."

Yotsuba nodded approvingly, and we continued down the path. Eventually, we reached the plaza where the students assigned to campfire duty were constructing what could only be described as a pyre. The stack of logs had risen almost to my height, and I was starting to get worried as to how we would put ours on top.

"Hmm..." Yotsuba mused as we arrived, clearly having come across the same conundrum as me. "This might be tricky..."

"Let's use physics, not raw strength," I groaned, shaking my head. "I'm too tired for that."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Yotsuba frowned.

"First, I'll get as close as I can..."

Walking up to the edge of the log pile, Yotsuba holding the other end, I bent my knees slightly, and then raised the log up onto my shoulder. Wincing at the weight and the strain on my biceps, I then adjusted my hands to push it up, and up, and up, until the edge of the log rested on the top of the structure, pointing in the direction I wanted it to go.

"Do you have a firm grip?" I asked.

"Uh... huh," Yotsuba said, eyeing my manoeuvre with a healthy dose of skepticism.

Yeah... that's probably deserved.

I began walking my hands down the log towards her, providing upward force the entire time so as to never let the entire weight of the log rest on Yotsuba. As I got closer to her, the amount of force I needed to employ got less and less, a consequence of getting further and further away from the pivot point. When I finally reached her, we were able to hold the log together with relatively little effort.

"Great," I said. "Now, let's both lift and push at the same time. On the count of three..."

"Ok!" Yotsuba said brightly. Counting down from three, we both simultaneously pushed and lifted, and the log rose into the air before pivoting over the log that was acting as its fulcrum. Eventually, as the centre of gravity passed the sustaining log, we were forced to switch from pushing up and forward to pulling down and forward. Nevertheless, eventually the log was in place.

"That was way easier than before!" Yotsuba exclaimed. "Yay, physics!"

"No sense doing more work than you need to," I shrugged. "Also, ow."

"Eh? Uesugi-san, manual labour builds character! Also, muscles!"

"Are muscles and character worth how sore I am?"

Yotsuba closed her eyes, and an expression which was probably her attempt at a saintly look crossed her face.

"Ah, Uesugi-san -- the fruit of our labours are revealed only in time. Is it worth it? Is it not worth it? Who knows? It is up to the individual. However, as they say: nothing ventured, nothing gained."

"How philosophical," I said drily. "Nevertheless, I think I'll err on the side of caution, and neither venture nor gain."

"Boo, lame! Laaaaame! Take part in the adventure, Uesugi-san!"

"No thanks. After we're done hauling logs, I want a long, hot bath."

"I don't think the lodge has baths," Yotsuba pointed out as we made our way back up the hill.

"Wait, really? Ugh, that's disappointing. Fine-- I guess I'll satisfy myself with a nice, hot shower."

"That does sound nice about now..." Yotsuba mused.

As we reached the warehouse, we were greeted to a welcome sight -- a group passing us was carrying the final log. Ichika and her partner were watching the log go. As we arrived, the other girl yawned and then waved goodnight, leaving just Ichika, Yotsuba, and myself.

"Good work," I yawned in turn. "That was a lot more physical labour than I was expecting."

"Ah, well," Ichika shrugged. "It's good to get some exercise once in a while."

I looked at her in betrayal. "I'm shocked you're up for physical labour."

"Hey," she laughed. "I exercise sometimes! I just also like to sleep!"

Grumbling, I stretched, and then turned to Yotsuba.

"Shall we head back?"

"Um... actually..."

Yotsuba glanced down at her feet, and I realized that she was awkwardly grabbing her arm, as though using it as a support. She was squeezing it tightly, her knuckles whitening at the pressure. My eyes immediately narrowed.

Something was up.

"Ichika... had a question for me, remember? I... kind of wanted to discuss it with her in private. Sorry, Uesugi-san."

"Oh," I said, blinking. "Right..."

Then, I shook my head. "It's fine. I guess I'll head back first, then."

Yotsuba nodded, and Ichika looked back and forth between us, her eyes narrowed slightly -- though with concern, or suspicion, I couldn't say. I turned and began to walk away, and Ichika sighed. Then, she and Yotsuba walked into the warehouse where the logs had been stored. Glancing back, I made eye-contact with Yotsuba, who had simultaneously glanced back at me. She gave me a small, sad smile, and I didn't want to leave.

Nevertheless, I left.

As I began to walk down the hill, a war raged within me. On one side, the army bearing the flag of 'Respect Yotsuba's Privacy' lined up, full regalia on display. On the other, the motley band of brigands and thieves bearing the dubious banner of 'Eavesdropping' lurked in the forest, preparing to strike guerilla-style when the army least expected it.

The battle raged as I continued down the hill. As I reached the bottom, the well-formed army finished dispatching the bandits, and I sighed. I valued Yotsuba's trust more than knowing whatever this secret was.

Turning inward, I faced the emotions which had been screaming in my ear to return up the hill, to listen in, to know-- and forced them into the mental cage in my heart, the one in which I locked up all my other base desires. I turned the key, and clicked the padlock shut. Inside, they howled in rage, demanding satisfaction and release, insolent curiosity locked away with jealousy, lust, and desire -- and the other things I didn't need.

With one more forlorn look up towards the distant warehouse, I turned the corner on the trail, and left Yotsuba and Ichika to their private conversation.

If I listened in on something this fraught, after she explicitly told me she wanted privacy, it would be a massive violation of her trust. I can't do that.

As much as I really want to.

Crossing the plaza alone, I entered the lodge to find that most of the attendees weren't in the main lobby -- perhaps there were some other areas which had various forms of entertainment, or maybe they were in their rooms. Regardless, there were relatively few people present. The only ones I could see were Itsuki, who was curled up in an armchair by the fire, and a group of boys across the room by the other fire. Amongst them, I saw a familiar shock of blond hair which set my teeth on edge.

I made my way out of the lobby and (barely) navigated to my room, which was empty. Grabbing some toiletries and a towel from my suitcase, I went and had the hot shower I'd been craving. As the warm water cascaded over my bare back, I sighed with pleasure. My muscles would certainly ache tomorrow -- but perhaps not as badly as I'd originally feared.

Eventually, after wrapping up, I got changed, brushed my teeth, and returned to my room. Dropping off my dirty clothes, I returned to the lobby in my sleepwear -- it was, after all, getting quite late. Wandering over to Itsuki, I sat down in the other armchair, a quiet groan escaping my lips as my back muscles complained. She glanced up, glasses on her face, and I realized that she'd curled up with a book.

"Uesugi-kun," she acknowledged, looking back down at the book. "Nice pyjamas."

"Hey," I said weakly, raising a hand. "Also, thanks."

"Are you ok?" she asked, glancing back up again, a concerned look crossing her face.

"Yeah, I will be," I said, rolling my shoulders to see if it helped at all. It did not. "Just sore from helping with campfire duties. Also, I was climbing a bunch of trees for the test of courage, which I am not accustomed to doing."

"I see," Itsuki nodded. "Sounds unpleasant."

"Right?"

We both chuckled, and then I leaned back in the chair.

This thing is too comfortable. I might fall asleep in here...

"Ah, speaking of which," I said, leaning forward again and glancing at her. "Are you ok? It seemed like you really didn't have a great time with the test of courage."

Itsuki's face reddened slightly, and she muttered something.

"Sorry, I... didn't catch that."

"It was really scary," she muttered again, slightly louder this time.

I smiled. "Well, that means we did our job well. I'll be sure to let Yotsuba know. Why did you decide to do it, though, if you were that scared?"

"Nino needed a partner, and I decided to be a good sister," Itsuki murmured. "That's what I get for trying to be nice."

"Mm, true. Best to never be nice," I nodded. Itsuki rolled her eyes at me, and I laughed.

"By the way," I added, glancing at her book. "What are you reading? If you don't mind my asking, that is."

"Oh," she said, looking down at it. "It's a romance book. I'm sure you wouldn't like it, what with your aversion to love and all."

"I don't have an aversion to the concept," I muttered, my face reddening slightly. "It's just that I don't have much interest in pursuing it in my own life at the moment."

"Is that so? Uesugi-kun, are you one of those '2D girls are better than 3D girls' type of guys?"

I scowled. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

She laughed, and then flipped the book over to look at the summary on the back. As Itsuki began to explain the novel to me, I suddenly felt a prickling feeling on the back of my neck, the sensation of someone (usually a Nakano) staring at me. I kept my eyes trained on Itsuki, but internally I was dying to turn around and figure out who it was. As she finished explaining, I nodded, and began asking follow-up questions.

Then, I broke, and turned to look.

Across the room, where the gaggle of boys were gathered, the ever-popular Second Place-san reigned supreme -- but he was looking across the room at us, instead. Well, 'us' was a stretch. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he was staring at Itsuki.

I looked back at her, and a familiar flash of irritation flared up in my chest. However, I also had the strangest feeling that the look on Second Place-san's face...

There's no other word for it. It was a lonely look.

Somewhere deep inside, despite how much I really didn't want to... I could viscerally understand the concept of feeling lonely despite being surrounded by people. An intrusive thought pushed its way into my mind, something I'd been suppressing for months at this point -- the memory of that afternoon in early September when I'd finally been overwhelmed by my own loneliness, and had broken down. A spark of empathy for the boy flickered to life; still dominated and engulfed by my irritation, it nevertheless held a small place of its own.

I still sometimes feel like that. In waves. Less, now. It's all because of...

As if she had been summoned, the front door to the lodge opened, and Yotsuba walked in, Ichika a few steps behind her. Both of them had sombre looks on their faces, and I had the distinct feeling that Yotsuba's face was blotchy -- but I didn't have the chance to analyze it, perhaps intentionally on their part. Within a moment, both of them had hurried through the lobby without so much as sparing me a look, and then they were gone.

"That's unfortunate," I muttered.

"I agree!" Itsuki said, passionately. "The Duke of the North could have been such a good character -- but the reveal that he was Elizabeth's half-brother completely undercut all of the preceding character development for both of them, not to mention the romantic tension! Completely gone, all in one stroke. I was really disappointed. Luckily, the next twist recovered the series..."

I realized with a start that I'd missed some of Itsuki's explanation, and now had no clue what she was talking about.

Shit.

I spent the next ten minutes or so delicately navigating the conversation and attempting to piece together what I'd missed by zoning out -- luckily, I was fairly successful, at least on the front of avoiding Itsuki making the realization that I'd not been listening. Eventually, I heard footsteps, and glanced over to see Ichika, Miku, and Yotsuba entering the lobby. Yotsuba spotted us, and bounded over.

"Itsuki, Uesugi-saaaaan! Hellooo! Ooh, Uesugi-san, cute pyjamas!"

Taking a moment to study her face before responding, I noted that there was no trace of the blotchiness I'd suspected her of before; instead, her cheeks were just red, as though she'd smacked them several times, and washed her face repeatedly.

But there was a smile on her face, and that was all that really mattered.

"Hey," I said smoothly, leaning back in the armchair. "Thanks, they're new. Everything go well?"

Yotsuba just nodded silently, and Itsuki gave me a funny look. Ignoring it, I glanced over at Ichika and Miku. Ichika seemed to be avoiding eye contact with me, which was, to put it mildly, suspicious. Miku, on the other hand, was doing the opposite -- she was just staring directly at me. Given she hadn't been party to the conversation in the warehouse, and I doubted Yotsuba had confided in her when she'd been so averse to even talking to Ichika, I assumed it was just something else.

She's a weird one. Not that I really have room to talk.

"Ooh, wanna play some cards?" Yotsuba asked, whipping a pack out of seemingly nowhere. "There's a coffee table over there, we could play there!"

"I'm fine, thanks," Itsuki said, holding up her book. "I'm just reaching a good part."

"Oh, ok," Yotsuba pouted. She turned to look at me, and I shrugged.

"Sure, I'm always game to kick your butt."

"Hey!" she protested. "Ichika's here! I won't get beat too badly!"

Then, she glanced aside, and muttered, "...probably."

"What was that last bit?"

"Nothing! Let's go play!"

Yotsuba and I, as well as Ichika and Miku (who had both said nothing since arriving), moved about ten metres over to where a small coffee table was set up along with some smaller armchairs. As we settled around it, Yotsuba began to deal, and we all prepared for battle.

As expected, it was a slaughter. Ichika was the only one who could withstand my onslaught, and rapidly, it was just the two of us. Nevertheless, she wasn't engaging in her usual banter -- and what she was putting out was clearly only half-hearted. I narrowed my eyes, and shook my head.

"Ichika."

"Yes?" she said, looking up at me from below half-lowered eyelids.

"To quote Yotsuba, you must 'put your entire ass into it'. If you half-ass this, I'm going to win handily."

Ichika laughed softly. "Somehow, I never envisioned you of all people saying the phrase 'entire ass'."

Then, she squared her shoulders. "Fine, you want me to give it my all? I'll whip your butt."

"Goo-- wait, no, I'm going to crush you!"

"Is that so?" she said, waggling her eyebrows, and a wisp of a smile appearing on her face. "Do your worst."

The war raged on, with Ichika finally going full-force. Yotsuba and Miku were consistently swept to the side -- except for one round when, seemingly by a fluke, Yotsuba absolutely dominated. As she claimed victory, I leaned back in disbelief, stunned.

"I didn't see that one coming," I muttered to Ichika. She shrugged.

"That's how they getcha."

"Who's 'they' in this scenario?!"

She waggled her eyebrows at me again. "Who knows?"

Rolling my eyes, I sagged in my chair, and happened to glance to the side. Suddenly, my eyes narrowed. Back by the fire, I saw that Itsuki was no longer alone -- a certain blond individual had taken up residence in the other armchair. They weren't so far away as to be out of earshot, though their words were faint. Straining, I tried to focus; I most certainly didn't trust Second Place-san's intentions.

"If I may be so bold, Nakano-san, I do wish to inquire as to the contents of the book you're reading."

"Um... why?"

"Uh... shall we say, curiosity?"

Itsuki seemed dubious, but she closed her book, her finger holding her place.

"Hm... alright. It's a romance story about a girl, Elizabeth, who grows up in an orphanage, but always dreams of a life of elegance and nobility. She works hard, and wins a scholarship to a prestigious academy attended by royalty. However, she's shunned by the majority of the nobles there for being a commoner, and so her school days aren't what she expected them to be. However, there are two nobles who won't seem to leave her alone -- the mysterious Duke of the North, Claude, and the fourth prince, Ashton. It's about their relationships, and the love between them."

"Hmm, indeed," Second Place-san said, nodding. "It sounds like a beautiful story."

"Yeah, it is! I really liked-- actually, wait, hang on a second. I'm confused. From what I've heard, you were quite disdainful of those you deemed to be 'commoners', specifically Uesugi-kun. Why would you like a story like this?!"

To my absolute shock, Second Place-san sighed, and hunched over, his posture the absolute picture of regret.

"I... may have said some things in haste and anger to Uesugi Fuutarou that I didn't fully mean. I am truly a lover of romance, and such a story warms my heart immensely. While it is true that I do believe in the... superiority of elites, that does not mean that love between nobles and commoners is something I think should not flourish."

Itsuki narrowed her eyes. "That's... still not great, but I guess I'll take what I can get for now."

Second Place-san frowned. Then, he shook his head, and began to press for more details about the book.

"Uesugi-san?"

Starting, I turned back around to see Yotsuba staring at me inquisitively, mid-deal.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "Got distracted for a minute there."

"All good," she said, smiling at me. "I have to defend my crown -- it makes sense you'd be depressed at the prospect of taking me on!"

I glanced over at Ichika, who winked at me.

"Tag team?" I offered.

"Tag team," she responded affirmatively. "Let's crush her."

"Wait, what? Tha--That's not fair!" Yotsuba complained.

When she'd finished handing out the cards, Ichika and I pretty much immediately executed her. The dispatching of Miku was also swift, who looked quite glum about it. Finally, the battle was down to Ichika and I.

"It's too bad," I said, shaking my head. "After our long and winding road, I must now turn on you... partner."

"Truly tragic," Ichika murmured, shaking her head. "I'd hoped to have you by my side forever, Fuutarou-kun."

"Alas, some things were not meant to be. En garde!"

My riposte stabbed her through the heart -- and through her death, I won the friendly game of cards.

"It's good to have the crown back," I gloated, leaning back in the chair again.

"You guys cheated!" Yotsuba complained. "Two against one isn't fair!"

"Yeah, that's true," I nodded. "You could have allied with Miku once you realized what we were doing, though."

Yotsuba looked thunderstruck. "Oh my god, you're right, I could have. Why didn't I think of that?!"

"Because you were too busy gloat--"

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

All four of us turned sharply to look at the chairs by the fireplace: to where Itsuki was standing, her face a bright red. Second Place-san was sitting in his chair looking up at her, an astonished look on his face. As Itsuki towered over him, yelling, he almost seemed to shrink into the chair.

"How dare you! We aren't remotely close enough for you to make that sort of comment. I don't know who the hell you think you are, but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you being an arrogant prick -- leave me alone!"

"W-Wait, Nakano-san," Second Place-san offered weakly. "That's... that's not how I meant it."

"Go to hell," she hissed. "I hate you!" Then, grabbing her book off the armrest, she fled the room. As she went, I was certain I saw tears in her eyes.

I immediately stood to go after her, but Yotsuba had done the exact same thing moments before me. Around the table like lightning, she grabbed my arm.

"I'll go," she said softly.

"But--"

"Please," she said softly. "She won't want you to see her like this."

Nodding frustratedly, I sat back down, and Yotsuba jogged off in the direction Itsuki had ran. Gritting my teeth, I glanced over at Second Place-san, who seemed shell-shocked. On the one hand, I had a certain measure of pity for the boy, having once been in his shoes myself. Itsuki was, to put it mildly, not exactly the hardest person to upset.

On the other hand, he'd clearly just upset my friend -- badly. That trumped any understanding I had, and by no small margin. The tiny droplet of sympathy for Second Place-san I'd previously spontaneously developed was in danger of swiftly evaporating in the heat of my anger.

This prick needs to learn a lesson.

Standing again, I stormed over to Second Place-san.

"What the hell was that?" I growled.

He looked up at me in fear, but then swallowed, steeled himself, and shook his head.

"I don't have to answer to you, Uesugi Fuutarou."

Standing, he turned on his heels, and marched back over to his group of friends, who gave him comforting pats on the shoulder as he returned -- not something I particularly felt he deserved.

The bastard ran away.

Scowling, I skulked back over to Ichika and Miku in defeat, who both looked annoyed.

"Poor Itsuki-chan," Ichika sighed. "Man-handled by such an insensitive brute."

"I have to wonder how bad it actually was, though," Miku said quietly. "You know how Itsuki can be."

"I do, but think about it-- what are the odds that what Takeda-san said was actually quite insensitive?" Ichika responded, shaking her head. "Pretty high, I would think. The boy is... hmm, how do I put this?"

"An asshole?" I growled, leaning back in my chair, irritation leaking from every pore of my body.

"Yep, that," Ichika said, pointing at me. "Mind you, Fuutarou-kun, I seem to recall you saying some fairly insensitive things yourself to our dear sister when you first met."

"I know," I groaned, covering my eyes with a hand. "I've regretted it ten-fold since then. So, having been in his position myself, I have at least a small measure of sympathy for him. Not much, though. He's insufferable."

Ichika shrugged. "True. Another round?"

"Please."

We continued to play for another thirty minutes or so, and Miku actually managed to net a few wins by pitting Ichika and I against each other, and then picking off the survivor after we'd been weakened. It helped that, in the absence of Yotsuba, it didn't feel good to be constantly taking her out first, and so Ichika and I both tended to focus on attempting to disable the other.

It also helped that my irritation was distracting me, though as time went on it died down, and I was able to regain my focus.

As we finished a round, I heard footsteps, and glanced over to see Yotsuba returning. She had a sad look on her face, and instead of returning to her spot, she just sat on the armrest of my chair, and glanced down at me.

"How's she doing?" I asked, looking up.

"Not great," Yotsuba said, shaking her head. "He apparently made a comment about her food consumption and weight -- and you know how she is about that."

Ichika and I simultaneously hissed, drawing in breath. Miku simply shrugged.

How do you get from a fantasy romance novel to her waistline?!

"So... yeah, she's not super happy. She was really upset -- but I think she's more angry than sad now. She's reading her book in the room, so I decided to leave her to it."

"I see," Ichika said softly. "Well, there's not much we can do right now, I guess. I'll talk to her when we get back. Are you going to rejoin us, Yotsuba?"

"I think I'll just watch a few rounds," she said, shaking her head. "I was getting my butt kicked anyways."

"Alright, if you're sure," her sister shrugged. "I guess that means Miku has another chance."

"Eh?" Yotsuba said, frowning. "Miku, you won?!"

"Twice," she said, a quiet, smug smile on her face. "These two are big softies."

"Hey," I scowled. "Do you want us to target you?"

"No thank you, I'm fine," she said, shaking her head quickly. "Please continue to attack each other."

As we returned to playing, it was essentially even between Ichika and I. However, she had a slight edge over me, the reason for that being that I was thoroughly distracted. After rejoining us, Yotsuba had elected to sit on the armrest of my chair instead of in her own, open chair -- an imitation of my own seating arrangement that morning. I didn't mind, save for the fact that every time she excitedly moved to comment on what was happening, or turned to talk to me, Yotsuba's thigh would press against my shoulder.

It was distracting, but... not altogether unpleasant.

Alright, come on. Pull yourself together, Uesugi Fuutarou.

From deep in the cage in my heart, there was a growl.

I was still mostly able to hold my own. Nevertheless, at one point I lost quite badly, going out very early on, leaving Miku and Ichika to duke it out -- or rather, for Ichika to one-sidedly slaughter her sister. Yotsuba leaned over, and ruffled my hair, her fingers running along my scalp in a way that sent shivers down my spine.

"Too bad," she teased. "Uesugi-san, looks like you need a bit more practice."

"Hey," I scowled jokingly, "I don't want to hear that from you. You're getting a big head just because you beat me once?"

She patted me on the shoulder, her fingers leaving my hair, and I shivered again at the fading impression of her touch on my head.

"I'm cheering for you, Uesugi-san," she grinned down at me.

"Hey!" Ichika complained. "Cheer for your own sisters!"

"No," Yotsuba retorted, sticking out her tongue. "I don't think I will."

"Traitor," Miku complained. "Capital punishment. Death is the only recourse."

"Wait what?! I'm going to die if I don't cheer for you?!" Yotsuba exclaimed, a panicked tone entering her voice. "Ah, geez. Sorry, Uesugi-san, but duty calls. Go, sisters, go!"

"How fickle," I sighed. "Folding under such shallow threats? I expected better of you, Yotsuba."

"I'm sorry," she sighed in turn, dramatically gripping my shoulder. "But my choice... it is final. I can't be swayed. Deep sisterly bonds bind me now!"

"Well, that sucks," I complained, glancing up at her and running my hand through my hair, fixing the mess she'd caused. "I guess that just means I'll need to kick their butts and win you back."

Yotsuba's face reddened, and she looked over at her sisters.

"Um... um... is... is that how that works?" she asked weakly.

Ichika rolled her eyes. "Stop flirting and deal, Fuutarou-kun."

"We're not flirting," I complained -- but I grabbed the deck of cards, and dealt.

The rest of the evening passed with little incident. At some point, I wasn't sure when, Second Place-san and his cohort left, leaving us alone in the lobby. Eventually, Yotsuba let out a huge yawn, stifling it with her hand.

"Sorry, guys, I think I need to go to bed," she said sleepily. "It's been a very long day."

"Sure," I said, glancing up at her uncomfortably -- she had shifted at some point, and her hip was now pressing right against my shoulder, which, while not a displeasurable experience by any measure, was making me extremely conscious of our relative positions. "I'm about ready to call it a night as well."

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired too," Ichika yawned. "Let's call it there."

"Fine," Miku murmured, beginning to pick the cards up off the table. "I was hoping to finish on a win..."

"Maybe next time," I smiled at her, and she tentatively smiled back at me.

Yotsuba slid off the armrest, and then I too rose to my feet. Miku handed the pack of cards back to Yotsuba, and then we made our way out of the lobby, Ichika and Miku trailing behind to talk for a moment. The two of us walked through the main doors together, walking down a long hallway before reaching a flight of stairs.

"Goodnight, Uesugi-san," she smiled at me.

"Have a good sleep," I smiled back. "See you in the morning."

Grinning, Yotsuba ascended the stairs to the women's floor, while I stayed on the ground floor and made my way to my room.

Once there, I found Maeda, the other three boys, and Second Place-san all getting ready to go to shower. Having already done so, I instead began preparing for bed -- but not before shooting Second Place-san a glare which I felt he very richly deserved. On seeing it, he seemed to almost wilt, and I felt a small modicum of guilt.

Only a small amount, though.

Eventually, the other boys left to shower -- but Second Place-san hesitated as he was walking out the door. Lingering, he glanced after our departing roommates... and then back at me.

"If you have something to say for yourself," I snarled, glaring at him again, "just spit it out."

Then go.

Second Place-san opened his mouth... and then closed it again. He looked out the door again at the retreating backs of the other boys.

Then, he sighed, and closed the door, the two of us alone in the room.

There was a moment's silence between us, and his face was a diorama of conflict. Second Place-san seemed to go through several emotions sequentially, though they passed so quickly that identifying individual ones was impossible. Finally, his face settled down, and the expression therein surprised me -- because it looked like remorse.

"Would you believe me," he finally said, his voice soft, "if I told you that it was not my intention to upset Nakano-san?"

"Maybe," I replied, staring at him unblinkingly. "It wouldn't make any difference though. Intentions matter far less than outcomes."

"Is that so?" he said quietly, a hint of steel entering his voice.

There was another moment's silence.

I refused to break it -- I was perfectly happy to let him stew.

Then, unexpectedly, he shook his head, and sighed again.

"You're right, of course. I've certainly gone and put my foot in it. Nevertheless, I hope you will believe that my intentions were not nefarious."

Why does it feel like he's seeking my approval? I'm not going to give it. He can go to hell.

"I'll take it into consideration, even if I don't know that I believe it," I retorted, raising an eyebrow. "It doesn't matter, though. Like I said-- your intentions are completely irrelevant."

"I... suppose I can't ask for more than that," Second Place-san said.

"No." I muttered. "You can't."

There was another long stretch of silence, in which I simply stared at the boy, refusing to relieve the pressure. He'd done wrong. I wasn't going to let him off the hook. He held my eye-contact, shaking slightly-- and then Second Place-san's shoulders seemed to slump. He murmured something which I couldn't quite make out.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you. Speak up."

"I don't know what to do," he whispered again, loud enough that I could hear this time. "I have no idea how to approach her. I was... I was trying to make things better."

I froze, thunderstruck. This was something I hadn't expected -- an admission of helplessness, at least in one small area, from Second Place-san.

Is he... asking for advice?

Walking over to my bed, I sat down on the edge, and pondered. I had seen Second Place-san fiery. I'd seen him condescending, and rude, and frightened, and vicious. I'd seen him full of energy, and full of an irritating level of cheer.

I'd never seen him contrite.

After a moment's hesitation, he stepped away from the door, and sat on the bed that neighboured mine, facing me.

I... don't know what to do either.

"I would advise starting with an apology," I said drily, my mouth moving before my brain had fully decided on a course of action. "Face her honestly, and admit what you did wrong. It won't be enough... but it's a start."

"I--It won't be enough?"

It wasn't for me.

"No. You have a lot of ill-will built up with her," I scowled. "Not to mention her other sisters. Oh, and me. Don't forget me. If you want to get into her good books, you have a lot of work to do."

"I... I see," he said, dejected.

Are you going to step up? Or will you run away, like a coward?

"Listen," I said, beginning to build up steam. "You need to value her more. This is important. At risk of sounding cheesy, you need to cherish her."

"Cherish her...?"

"Think. Think, damn it. Who was the only one who came to every one of your sessions? Who was the only one who put up with you, and kept coming back?"

There was a moment of silence between us.

"It was Itsuki," I said emphatically, seeing that he wasn't going to answer. "Her motivation for having done it is irrelevant -- she was still there every single time. Every time! You need to work with what you're given, not what you wish you had."

"What... what I'm given..." the boy mused.

I made eye-contact with him, dragging his gaze up with my own, making damn-well sure he understood my point. "You need to treat her well. Better. Not like this."

Second Place-san hung his head, dejection radiating from every pore of his body.

"You're right," he whispered. "What the hell have I been doing?"

I was surprised by his sudden acquiescence-- but I decided to push on, striking while the iron was hot.

"If you understand that," I growled, " if you really understand that: then go apologize to her as soon as you have the chance -- though she may not accept it. You'll need to work your ass off."

"Yes," he nodded. "You are right."

"I... Good. Good!" I said, suddenly not quite sure how to proceed.

I... what the hell happened to him? I wasn't expecting him to be this... docile.

There was silence.

Ok. This didn't go how I expected. But... maybe that's ok.

The quiet extended, threatening to take over -- and then I sighed.

"Look, I have to ask you something. It's been bugging me for a while."

Second Place-san looked at me pensively, his uncharacteristic quietness continuing unabated.

"I don't get you," I said matter-of-factly.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you so desperate to beat me? Sure, winning is nice -- but it's not everything. It's certainly not something that would drive someone to lash out the way you did when we first met. I don't believe it's just about the academics, or just about your job."

Second Place-san laughed. "Uesugi Fuutarou, what on earth could you mean? We are eternal rivals, and I simply wish to--"

"Cut the crap," I said, my voice turning cold. "I'm serious."

He fell silent, his eyes growing distant, and he looked away from me. The quiet stretched, and I began to wonder if he would even answer me -- or simply choose to remain voiceless, letting the silence be his answer.

When it finally began reaching the verge of the unbearable, he spoke.

"I have to win."

I stayed silent, watching him... waiting for a proper explanation.

"As the first son of the Takeda household... there are expectations placed on me. Things which I must do... or I'll be branded a failure."

"So it's about your family name?" I said, disappointment slamming into me like a bag of bricks.

What a shallow reason . Ugh. I can't believe I was expecting something deepe--

Second Place-san shook his head. "No. It's about interpersonal connection. Frankly... I don't care much about the family name. However... it's something which matters immensely to those around me."

There was a beat, and then he added, his voice barely a whisper: "It matters immensely to my father."

I frowned. The picture, murky before, was beginning to become a bit clearer. I wasn't sure I liked where it was going.

"So... you're doing it to please your father?"

"In a sense," he said, glancing aside, his eyes distant. "Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I am doing it to avoid displeasing my father."

As he spoke, Second Place-san's hand unconsciously rose, and came to rest on his cheek. My eyes settled on his fingers, long and slender, fragile, and a realization came to me like an ugly thing slithering in the night, something sickening which, only at the very end, you realized had been there all along, lurking in the shadows.

Someone, somewhere along the line, had beat him for his failures.

Probably his father.

How often, how severely -- I had no idea. Maybe it was an omniscient threat in his life. All I could tell was that Second Place-san's behaviour hadn't been coming remotely from where I'd thought. It wasn't born out of ambition or pride-- but out of fear.

Fear of what would happen if he failed.

And I've been a consistent roadblock in his way for almost a year and a half. No wonder he was bitter. No wonder he lashed out.

Despite myself, despite all the history between us, I could feel the spark of empathy I'd felt for the boy earlier in the day resuscitate, beginning to glow brightly enough to start to confront the dark antipathy I felt for him.

Along with a sense of disgust.

If it was him... his father is a piece of shit .

I sighed and scratched my head, leaning back on the bed. The realization I'd made complicated my feelings. Before, it had been easy to just write him off as a buffoon with a superiority complex. Now, however, I was starting to get the sneaking suspicion that Second Place-san didn't actually think very highly of himself at all; and that his usual bombastic behaviour was nothing more than a façade, a mask erected to protect himself.

The thought disturbed me.

"I see," I finally responded.

"Tell me," the blond boy responded, his gazing turning hard. "An answer for an answer. Why do you hold on to first place so jealously? What drives you?"

I paused to consider. I was loath to tell him -- but I'd started the prying, and gotten more than I'd bargained for. Refusing to answer at all would be...

"I made a promise, a long time ago." I said quietly. "To... to someone who made a massive impact in my life. One that I intend to keep. I promised her I would get the best grades... and so I am."

"I see," Second Place-san said, nodding, and a hint of his usual chuunibyou energy came back to him. "A vow, if you will."

"I... guess so?"

"Ah, I see, I see. That... 'tis something I can respect! A man's vow to a woman!"

I sighed frustratedly. "Why are you always like this?"

"I jest. Regardless..."

The boy fell silent again. Then he gazed up at the ceiling, his eyes transfixed on something beyond the ceiling tiles. Then, he nodded to himself, and looked back down to lock eyes with me. "I shall take what you said into consideration. I must confront Nakano-san head on, bearing in mind the gratitude I surely owe her for coming to my sessions when no others would."

"Yes, good," I said, nodding in turn. "That sounds like a great pla--"

"Indeed," Second Place-san said, standing, pumping his fist. "I must be relentless in my pursuit!"

"No, I-- wait, what? No. No! Definitely don't be relentl--"

"My eyes are opened! Ha ha! Thank you, Uesugi Fuutarou! I shall wage an honest war to make amends!"

With that, Second Place-san dashed out of the room, a towel tossed over his shoulder, and a bag of toiletries in hand. I watched him go, and then lowered my head into my hands.

"Oh no. What hath I wrought?" I mourned quietly.

Itsuki... I'm so sorry.

After a few minutes of angst, the call of nature reared its head, and I went to go find a washroom. I got lost in my attempted return, and eventually I ran into Yotsuba doing the same thing. As we passed, she bumped her shoulder into mine, and grinned.

"My, my! Long time no see, Uesugi-san!"

"Right," I said drily.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

I stared at her blankly, my mind still full of the horror I'd unwittingly unleashed upon Itsuki, and the world.

"What?"

"Skiing! Remember, I won't let you cause any mass casualty incidents!"

Laughing, Yotsuba walked off, and I stared after her.

Slowly, I blinked.

Then, my eyes widened.

Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. I forgot. I'm going to turn every bone in my body into dust tomorrow.

Returning to my room, I slipped under my covers, and gazed at the ceiling. In my mind's eye, I saw image after image after image of myself plowing head-first into small children, breaking various limbs, and finally slamming full force into a tree, leaving a distinctly Uesugi Fuutarou-shaped indent in the bark.

I'm going to die tomorrow.

Suddenly, a different intrusive thought entered my mind -- Yotsuba's repeated touch throughout the very long day. It had dawned on me, perhaps during the card game, that we were both being more... touchy-feely compared to usual. I'd wondered if it was possibly just due to the fact we were on a trip, and therefore were both able to relax more. I wasn't quite sure when it had started -- or if she'd even been the one to initiate it. Maybe it had been me. I didn't know.

I wonder what it means. Maybe nothing. Maybe...

There was part of me that felt like it knew the answer... but it was hidden, locked somewhere in the cage in my heart, padlocked away with all my other inconsequential desires; and to open the cage, to unleash the beasts chained within for the purposes of searching through their character with a fine-toothed comb... it would be inviting disaster. If they were released...

I'm scared to open the cage.

So, in lieu of analyzing her motives, I simply returned to the cold comfort of a visualization of snow and frost and anticipation.

Chapter 26: Snowscape

Chapter 26
Snowscape

Snow.

As I blinked awake in my bed (a foreign experience in its own right), the remnants of the previous night's distraction remained at the forefront of my mind. As I'd drifted off to sleep, those worries had bled into my dreams, and my thoughts had been a frigid, pure white. While I trusted that I would be safe, that hadn't prevented my subconscious from catastrophizing.

Rising from beneath my blankets, I quickly dressed, and checked what I needed for the day. Having never skied before, I had elected to leave the preparation of the list entirely in Yotsuba's hands.

"Gloves... check," I muttered to myself, searching through my suitcase. "Balaclava... hmm, couldn't find one of those, so I guess... not check? Ok, next... ski goggles. I still don't even know what those are."

"Mmm, good morning, Uesugi Fuutarou. What a bea-u-tiful day!"

I glanced behind me to see Second Place-san peeking out from under his blanket, a cheeky grin on his face. Rolling my eyes, I muttered greetings back to him and returned to my checklist.

Ski poles? Where the hell would I have even gotten those?!

My faith in Yotsuba was plummeting by the second.

Having assured myself that I had procured every reasonable thing, I left the room. Second Place-san watched me go, then elected to bother Maeda instead.

More power to him, I guess.

After a quick breakfast courtesy of Itsuki and the other students on meal duty, I found myself lined up to board a large bus. For those who had chosen to go skiing, the buses were set to carry us up the mountain to where the ski resort was located. Of course, not every student was going -- but a large enough majority were standing in the various boarding lines that it felt as though it were everyone.

Nino was with her friends, as one might have expected -- but the other four sisters were standing in line with me. As we slowly prepared to board the buses, Yotsuba prodded my side gently through the thick, warm jacket I'd put on.

"Are you ready, Uesugi-san? This is gonna be so much fun!"

"I am ready," I nodded resolutely. "I am terrified."

"Good, goo-- wait, terrified?! That makes it sound like you don't trust me as a teacher! Geez. I bet I'm a great teacher!"

"Promise you'll teach me how to stop," I said drily.

"You're still on that? I wouldn't forget something that important!"

"Right..." I said, my voice drenched in doubt.

"You don't believe me! Rude, Uesugi-san!"

"My apologies, Yotsuba-sensei," I said, bowing my head as I stepped up onto the bus ahead of her. "I'm sure you won't forget a single thing."

"Shi shi shi! That's right, I won't!" Yotsuba grinned smugly as we ascended the steps. "It's gonna be great!"

The bus was of a different type than the one we'd taken to the campgrounds; instead of four seats facing one another with a table in the middle, it simply consisted of rows upon rows of forward-facing seats. Resigned to a lack of cards, I walked down to near the end of the bus, and slid along to sit next to the window. Yotsuba immediately plopped into the seat next to me, while Ichika and Itsuki sat in the row in front of us. Miku sat across, taking the aisle seat -- an odd decision in my view, given the window seat was empty.

As the bus began to pull away, Miku looked out the window, and an uncharacteristic grin crossed her face. She looked down at her phone, which was in her lap, and I noticed that she was almost... cradling it. As we ascended out of the valley in which the campgrounds were located, she began tapping on her phone screen. Curious, I pulled out my own phone, and saw that we had ascended enough to receive a faint cell phone signal.

Suddenly, I heard a buzzing sound -- but it wasn't from my phone. Yotsuba pulled her own device out of her pocket, and looked down at it. She frowned, and then started laughing. Turning to me, she grinned.

"Why yes, Uesugi-san! You should come find me! Good luck -- I'm a master of stealth!"

I frowned at her.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She turned her phone to show me the message she'd just received -- from none other than myself.

<Done putting my stuff away. Should I come find you?>

Groaning, I looked at my phone to see that the message I'd failed to send the previous day had finally been delivered upon our return to service range.

"Well, that's about twenty-four hours too late," I muttered.

"Come on, Uesugi-san! Try and find me!" she laughed, reaching out with both hands and covering my eyes.

"Hmm, let's see," I said drily. "I imagine you're approximately thirty centimetres to my right."

"Aw, boo, you're too good at this," she pouted -- or at least, I imagined she was pouting. Her hands were still over my eyes. I could clearly tell from her voice that she was joking, though.

"Thanks. I'm famous for having object permanence."

"Oh really?" she said, removing one of her hands but leaving the other. "What an interesting and rare skill!"

"Can you guys keep the flirting down?" Itsuki asked, turning back and looking at us through the gap in the headrests. "I'm trying to read."

"Sorry, we'll tone it do-- wait, hang on," I frowned. "We're not flirting."

"Sure," Itsuki retorted, turning back to face forward. "You just keep telling yourself that, Uesugi-kun."

Yotsuba's face immediately began to redden. As she laughed awkwardly and removed her other hand, I could see Ichika attempting to stifle her laughter through the gap in the headrests.

Rolling my eyes, I turned to look out the window.

We weren't flirting. I have no interest in such things.

The scenery going by was truly stunning, and I was soon distracted from my irritation by my awe of the mountains. As the bus weaved its way along winding roads, the orange and green forest canopies gradually gave way to a pristine white as we got higher and higher into the heights. As we rose, I could feel my ears pop. Eventually, the entire ground was covered in snow, the effects of the snowstorm two days prior still fully on display.

There was a stark beauty to grey mountains wreathed in white.

Finally, we rounded a corner, and began to descend into a shallow valley. On the far side, I could see where trees had been cleared to make runs, and small specks of black were shooting down the mountain -- presumably, the skiers. Having crossed another valley at some point, I had to look out the far window to see the beautiful sights on display; but as I did so, I found myself distracted.

Specifically, by the fact that Miku was literally bouncing in her seat with excitement.

My eyes narrowed. It was possibly the most un-Miku-like thing I'd ever seen. She was completely ignoring the scene outside the window, looking down and typing frantically on her phone. Whenever it vibrated, she'd start bouncing again, and glance out the window momentarily before returning to her phone.

Weird. Maybe I just... have a fundamental misunderstanding of her character.

Eventually, the bus pulled to a halt at the resort, and we began to unload. Eventually I found myself standing outside with Yotsuba and her sisters -- minus Nino, naturally. Miku looked as impatient as I'd ever seen her, practically hopping from one foot to another. She kept looking at her phone, and then at the teacher.

She's like a puppy pining for a walk...

The thought hit me out of nowhere, and made me chuckle. Itsuki looked at me funnily, and I turned the laugh into a cough.

We were called in groups of six based on where we were standing to go get our "lift passes", whatever those were. Eventually Itsuki, Miku, and Ichika were called separately, leaving just Yotsuba and I behind. A few minutes later, we too were sent forth, and upon reaching a service counter, I was handed a ticket about the size of my extended hand to be attached to my jacket somewhere visible. Clipping it on, I followed Yotsuba into a separate room filled with all sorts of equipment.

"Now then, Uesugi-san," she said, her voice a rhapsody in smug. "It's time for me to ascend, to become... Yotsuba-sensei! Did you bring the things I asked you to bring?"

"Obviously not," I sighed. "I brought gloves and a jacket, but I couldn't find a balaclava, goggles, nor ski poles. Where the heck was I even supposed to get those anyways?"

"From a department stor-- ah, well, nevermind. It's not that important. The poles and goggles you can rent from here, and you can use a scarf instead of a balaclava. So... it's fine!"

I frowned. "If I could get them here, why were you suggesting I buy them?"

"For repeat use," Yotsuba said blankly, a quizzical look on her face. "It's cheaper in the long run to buy than to rent every time."

"...Eh?"

"Eh?"

We both stared at each other. Then, her face started to slowly get red as she realized the implications of what she'd said.

"A-Anyways, let's go get the stuff you need, Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba said, turning on the spot and marching away, her hand held high above her head, indicating for me to follow. I stared after her for a moment.

I... guess we're going skiing together again at some point? And... not on a school trip?

The thought gave me both a warm feeling in my chest... and a vague sense of terror.

Shaking my head to clear it, I set off after her. The large building we were in was apparently called a "chalet", or a ski lodge. There was a small gift shop on the second floor, where Yotsuba bought me a scarf and ski goggles. I'd protested, naturally, but she insisted that it was her prerogative as "Yotsuba-sensei". As we walked down the stairs, I inspected my new scarf, and couldn't help but laugh. It was inscribed with the name of the ski resort... and then what appeared to be a series of different species of penguin, each going skiing or snowboarding. One was going sledding, and I found one more on the end which appeared to be taking a nap.

It was ridiculous.

And cute.

"Alright, we're here!" Yotsuba declared, turning around and putting her fists on her hips. "First things first -- take off your boots!"

"...Excuse me?"

"Boots! Off!"

Pulling off my boots at her command, I felt strangely naked standing in the public building in just my socks. Picking them up, I followed Yotsuba over to a set of footlockers, which I promptly used to store my recently departed boots. Clipping the key to the inside of my jacket pocket so as to not lose them -- I was rather fond of my boots after all, having only just purchased them -- I was then led by a wayward Yotsuba over to a counter where a rather bored-looking foreign man was scrolling on his phone.

"Excuse me!" Yotsuba called as we approached. "We'd like two pairs of ski boots, please!"

The man looked up at us, glanced at the tags on our jackets, sighed, and put the phone away.

"Certainly," he said in heavily accented Japanese. "May I have your shoe sizes?"

After providing him with the relevant information, the man went over to a large wooden rack, and began browsing. As he looked, I tried to place his accent -- I wasn't sure, but I thought he might have been Australian. When he returned, he was holding two boots that looked like they were designed for a broken ankle.

"For you, sir," he said politely, handing them to me. "I'll have yours in a moment, miss."

"Thank you!" Yotsuba said brightly. She beckoned me over to a flat wooden bench, and had me sit down.

"Now," she began, "with a ski boot, it's not going to feel the same as a regular boot at all. It's a lot tighter, so that you don't injure your ankle if you fall! So, you won't be able to move your ankle, and it'll feel pretty tight on your calf. It shouldn't hurt though, so if it's too tight, let me know!"

"Um, ok," I said, looking down at the gaping chasm that was the mouth of the boot. "So, do I... just stick it in?"

"Um... yes."

With Yotsuba knelt down in front of me, I slid my foot into the boot that she was holding steady. It was a bit of a tight fit, and for a moment, I wasn't sure I'd be able to manage; but then my calf popped through, and my foot was fully in.

"Alright!" Yotsuba cheered. "Now, do up the latches as tightly as you can, and we'll do the other one."

I leaned down, and saw that there were two latches on the boot, which served the purpose of compression. I latched them, and felt my calf immediately be immobilized. It didn't hurt, per se, but it wasn't the most comfortable of feelings either. As Yotsuba helped me put the other boot on, I grew ever more confident that within a matter of hours, my shins would be killing me.

"Miss?"

Yotsuba looked up to see the man at the counter holding up another, smaller pair of boots. Popping up from her kneeling position, she bounded over to the man and grabbed the offered footwear. Returning, she sat down next to me.

"Do you want help?" I offered, feeling a bit awkward about my relative incompetence.

Yotsuba shook her head. "Thanks, but it'll be kind of hard for you to kneel down with both of those boots on. Besides, I've done this on my own before -- I'll be fine!"

Her own ski boots went on much faster than my own, and soon enough she was standing again.

"Alright, now, let's get you a helmet, skis, and ski poles!"

I got up -- and immediately wobbled. Yotsuba hurried over to my side immediately, and grabbed my arm to support me.

"Whoa! Uesugi-san, you've got to walk with your legs straight. You can't bend your ankle, so you need to stiffen your legs, and walk like a penguin!"

"Like... a penguin?"

"Yeah! Come on, try it!"

I attempted to walk, and immediately found that it was quite difficult. I had to rely on Yotsuba at first until I found my footing, though eventually I found my rhythm. We walked over to an area where there were helmets hanging from a rotatable hat tree, and I eventually found one that fit snugly. We then walked -- or rather, waddled -- over to another counter, where another foreign man was helping two of our classmates.

When he finished, he turned to us, and grinned.

"Skis?"

Another Australian, huh?

"Yes please," I said.

"Height?"

We both told him the relevant numbers, and the man briefly disappeared before returning with skis. He put one pair aside, then turned to me.

"Boot please?"

I just stared at him.

"Oh, shoot, sorry Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said from behind me, sighing. "I forgot they need to adjust the skis. Can you take off just one of the boots?"

Scowling, I reached down, and undid the clasps on my right boot, something which required no small amount of effort. Yotsuba squatted down and held the back of the boot, and I pulled my foot out. She rose back to her feet and handed the boot to the worker, who took it over to the set of skis, and began making adjustments with a screwdriver.

"Uesugi-san, would you mind helping me get mine off next?" Yotsuba asked.

"Sure," I said, one eye still on the man adjusting my skis.

I squatted down behind her, and held the back while Yotsuba undid the clasps. She then pulled her foot out as well, leaving me with the boot in-hand. Making a distinct effort not to think about the relative placement of her body and my head -- a base, irrelevant concern which had been forcing its way into my head unbidden a frustrating amount recently -- I pulled back, and then rose to my full height, my knees groaning in protest.

"Thanks!" she said brightly, taking the boot. The employee returned with my skis, and then took Yotsuba's boot out of her hands. Hobbling back over to a bench with the skis over my shoulder, I pushed my foot back into the boot, and re-did the procedure of tightening the clasps. By the time I'd finished, Yotsuba had already been handed her skis, and had sat down next to me to do the same thing.

"Ready to hit the slopes?" she grinned as she finished.

"Nope," I said. "Let's do this."

I followed Yotsuba out a nearby double-door, and found myself on a small plain of flattened snow. There was a collection of ski poles in a bucket outside the door, and we each grabbed a pair. As I started to lower my skis to the ground, Yotsuba stopped me.

"Ah, no, no, hang on, Uesugi-san!" she warned. "If you put those on here, it's going to be really hard to get up the slope. Let's make our way over to the bunny hill first."

"Oh... ok," I replied uncertainly, unsure as to what exactly a 'bunny hill' was, nor its relationship to rabbits. Lifting my skis back up onto my shoulder, I followed Yotsuba around the edge of the lodge, and across a flat plain of snow to a small path with a sign labelled 'bunny hill' at its mouth. Walking through the snow in the ski boots posed a significantly greater challenge than the flat, linoleum floor of the chalet-- and the gentle upward slope as we trudged along the path certainly didn't help. Being unable to bend my ankles was... inconvenient, to say the lease.

It was almost ten minutes later that we finally emerged through a gap in a stretch of bright orange crash fencing, stepping out onto a relatively flat area of snow, though there was still some light curvature. Before us rose a long slope with various people skiing, snowboarding, and falling.

A lot of falling.

To the far right, I could see some sort of giant conveyor belt leading up the hill, which people were riding with their skis to reach the top.

What an odd contraption...

"The time has finally arrived!" Yotsuba exclaimed, her hands firmly on her hips. "It's time for Yotsuba-sensei to take the reins! For today, Uesugi-san, you'll be my student!"

"Yes, Yotsuba-sensei," I said, bowing my head. I put my skis down on the ground in preparation for putting them on.

"Lesson number one -- gravity!"

I blinked, pausing with my foot hovering over one of the skis. "Somehow, that's... not what I expected the first lesson to be."

"Eh? What were you expecting?"

I indicated at the skis. "How to put the damn things on."

"That's lesson number two," Yotsuba huffed. "Don't make me go out of order, please!"

"Ah. Sorry, sorry, my bad."

"Anyways, lesson one: gravity. Throughout the day, you're gonna get all caught up in skiing and figuring out how things work, so it's really easy to forget something super basic."

"Yeah?"

"Skis slide down the hill."

I paused for a moment, waiting to hear if there was more to her point.

There was not.

"What an astounding revelation," I said drily.

"Shi shi shi, I know! Earth-shattering!"

"So, are we going to move on to lesson two?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not until you've thoroughly absorbed lesson one."

"I'm pretty sure I know how gravity works, Yotsuba, so let's--"

Yotsuba waggled her eyebrows at me.

I frowned. Clearly, there was a point that she was trying to make, and that I was missing.

Looking down, I stared at the long pieces of wood I'd laid at my feet. There didn't seem to be anything particularly amiss with them. I looked back up at her with a question in my eyes, and she just waggled her eyebrows again.

I looked back down, perplexed.

Then--

"Oh wait, shit, they're aligned with the hill."

Yotsuba nodded, and I leaned down to turn the skis so that they were pointing perpendicular to the gradient of the hill, instead of parallel. As I was moving the skis, I marvelled at the fact that I'd completely missed something so basic -- and Yotsuba had caught it.

Maybe she'll be a decent teacher after all.

"Ok," I said, "lesson one has been thoroughly absorbed. Lesson two?"

"Right," she said, laying her own skis down parallel to mine. "Do you see the little lip at the front of your boots?"

"Yes."

"There's a lil' slot for them at the front of the bindings on the skis. Stick them in one at a time, and then stomp down on the pedal, hard. That'll lock the boot in place."

I did one experimentally, and felt a satisfying click sound as my ski locked. I stepped into the other, but it was harder than expected to balance on the one ski, and I began to wobble -- but then Yotsuba grabbed my arm, steadying me. Nodding gratefully to her, I slammed my other heel down.

Click.

Yotsuba quickly put her own skis on, and then began side-stepping up the hill towards the conveyor belt. After a moment, I tentatively followed her lead. At the bottom of the conveyor belt, the snow gave way to wooden planks, which were far easier to step on without sliding. Yotsuba ushered me onto the belt first, and then followed behind me.

"Ok, lesson three!" she called as we began to ascend the hill. "How to stop!"

"Oh, thank god," I murmured.

"Sorry, what was that Uesugi-san? I couldn't hear you!"

"Nevermind. So tell me, how do I stop?"

"There's the easy way, and the better way. The easy way works without needing any skill, but it won't work on steeper slopes. Which would you prefer to hear first?"

"Easy first," I decided.

"Ok! Look down at your skis."

I did as she commanded.

"Usually, when you're going down the slope, you wanna keep them as straight as possible. If you want to slow down, though, you can tilt them inwards, creating a kind of triangle shape. That'll slow you down, possibly even to a stop if the hill is shallow enough. It works by digging into the snow, so it's sometimes called snowploughing."

"That... seems simple enough," I said uncertainly. "Uh... what about the better way?"

"It's called a jump turn, and it's... kind of hard to explain. Basically, if you want to stop, you can jump and turn mid-air so that your skis go sideways, and you build up a ton of snow beneath the ski. Unless the hill is super icy, you'll stop almost immediately. It's hard to get right, though."

"Maybe we can hold off on that, then," I said nervously. "I think I would fall flat on my face if I tried that."

"Probably," Yotsuba said agreeably. "You should know, though -- you're going to fall anyways."

"Huh?"

"You're definitely going to fall at some point today. It happens to everyone when they're learning."

"...Oh."

"The important thing is to get up again. Oh, we're at the top of the hill!"

As we reached the top, I stepped off the belt onto the wooden board at the top, and quickly waddled forward to let Yotsuba off as well. Stepping forward, I found myself on a relatively flat area at the crest of the hill. There was a small slope to my right, before the true descent to the left.

"Ok, first things first -- let's try stopping!"

Yotsuba slid past me, down the shallow slope. Then, after about three seconds, she tilted her skis in, and came to a halt. Turning around, she beckoned to me. Gulping, I slid after her. As I began to pick up steam, I could feel myself panicking -- I already felt like I didn't have control over my motion. Looking down at my feet, I could see that the skis weren't really aligned, but rather were splayed outward. Forcing them inwards, I over-corrected, and my skis crossed. I felt myself lose balance, and as my boots collided, I crashed to the ground at Yotsuba's feet.

"Ow," I groaned. Yotsuba grinned down at me, and gently hauled me to my feet.

"Hmm, let's try that again. Maybe not while moving this time," she laughed. "Are you ok? Are you hurt at all?"

"Yeah, I guess," I muttered. "My pride is more bruised than anything else."

Standing, I practiced the snowplough position numerous times until I felt like I properly understood. Then, Yotsuba skied a short distance away again, and I followed suit. This time, I was able to successfully bring myself to a stop, though I did have a dangerous moment where I thought the skis would cross again.

"Good!"

The next step was going down the actual hill. Yotsuba pulled up beside me as we walked to the lip of the slope. Somehow, even though it hadn't seemed all that steep from the bottom... the edge felt like a precipice, a drop from which I would never recover if I allowed myself to fall.

Silently, I gulped again.

"We're going to go down the hill, so you can practice stopping on a real slope, ok?" Yotsuba said. "That's the first step, and then we'll practice turning."

I nodded, but I could feel mild panic rising in my gullet.

Who's damned genius idea was it to develop an activity where you strap sticks to your feet and shoot down mountains at high speeds?! This is a terrible idea, this hill is too steep, I--

Suddenly, I felt Yotsuba's hand slip into mine. Though I was wearing a glove, I could feel the pressure on my palm, and the fear began to abate.

"Don't worry, Uesugi-san!" she laughed. "I'll hold on to you so that you can't go flying away!"

"Uh... alright," I replied uncertainly.

I slowly began to slip forward, the lip of the hill looming ahead of me-- and then I was over, and I could feel myself accelerating, and the skis beneath my feet were wavering, and I could feel them wanting to cross, and I was going faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster faster faster faster faster fa--

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Yotsuba keeping pace with me.

I felt the pressure of her hand in mine again, and I remembered what I needed to do.

Looking down, I brought my skis together into the shape she had taught me, and I began to decelerate. Yotsuba let go of my hand, and performed a little hop and turn, a spray of snow coming out from beneath her as she brought herself to a standstill. Having stopped far faster than I had, she looked over and grinned at me from a few paces further up the hill.

"See? You were able to stop on your own!"

I looked down at my hand, the sensation of her touch still present, though fading. Looking back up at her, I nodded silently.

She's a good teacher after all.

"The next lesson," Yotsuba said, her face a study in smugness, "is turning."

We spent the next thirty minutes practicing turning, in addition to stopping. As we did so, we reached the bottom of the hill at least twice, and had to take the conveyor belt back up. Eventually though, I felt fairly confident in my ability to stop and turn, and I was starting to enjoy the thrill of the descent. Eventually, it got to the point where I could make it down the whole hill without slowing down, weaving my way back and forth across -- though just shooting down at top speed was fun too. As we rode our way back up to the top one last time, Yotsuba looked down at me, and a mischievous look crossed her face.

"So, Uesugi-san... you ready for the main slopes?"

"The... main slopes?"

'This is just the bunny hill," she said, shrugging. "It's shallow, so that it's easy to learn on. The real thing is a lot more fun -- and a lot steeper."

"Oh."

A pause.

"I'll be in your care."

Yotsuba laughed. "Shi shi shi! Have no fear, Yotsuba-sensei is here!"

I rolled my eyes as we reached the top of the hill and dismounted. "So, I guess let's just head down one last time, and then head over?"

"Yep! Luckily, going down is easier than walking up!"

"That is, indeed, how gravity works," I agreed mildly. Yotsuba grinned at me.

"I'm glad to see you've thoroughly absorbed lesson one! What a good student you are, Uesugi-san!"

"You saying that doesn't make me happy," I said drily.

"Boo! It should, your teacher is praising you!" she pouted, before sticking out her tongue.

"I'll earn much better praise than that!" I shot back, pushing myself over the lip of the hill, and beginning to accelerate. I used my new-found turning skills to weave back and forth across the hill, until eventually, far too soon for my liking, I was forced to come to a halt at the edge of the orange crash fencing at the bottom of the hill. Yotsuba pulled up next to me, and gave me a huge smile.

"You've improved pretty quickly, Uesugi-san! Let's hope you can keep up on the real thing, though!"

With that, she passed through the gap in the fencing, and began to ski down the trail towards the chalet. After a moment, I followed her. The shallow slope, which had so frustrated me on the way up, ensured that we didn't need to walk at any point on the way back down -- we could just glide. Eventually, we emerged from the trees near the lodge. Drifting across a long flat stretch, I eventually had to begin propelling myself forward with the ski poles, as the gradient was no longer large enough to carry us on its own.

As we slid past the chalet towards the point where the snow began to once again arc away, I suddenly heard an annoyingly familiar voice from about fifty metres behind us.

"Nakano-san! Please, I beg of you to listen to me!"

Turning, I winced as I saw Second Place-san slowly skiing down the hill towards us, trailing only a few metres behind Itsuki, who was resolutely doing her best to ignore him.

"Nakano-san! Come now -- I am simply doing my best to express my deeply felt emotions!"

"Stop following me!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I just want to ski in peace!"

"But-- But I must be resolute! Indeed, I must express the depths of my resolve!"

"Save it for another time! I'm begging you to leave me alone. Geez, I just wanted to-- oh, Uesugi-kun, Yotsuba. Hey."

I raised a hand in greeting, while Yotsuba vigorously waved. Second Place-san seemed temporarily distracted by our sudden appearance-- and, glancing back at him, Itsuki took the opportunity to push off with her ski poles, zooming off down the increasingly steep slope. Second Place-san looked back at where she'd been, and then yelped.

"By Jove, she's gone! Curses! Have no fear, Uesugi Fuutarou, I shan't let down your expectations! I shall properly express my remorse to Nakano Itsuki!"

"Wait, no, this isn't what I mea--"

With that, he too sped off down the slope, presumably to find Itsuki. Yotsuba watched him go, and then turned to look at me, bemusement on her face.

"Uesugi-san? What was that all about? What... expectations?"

I sighed. "Believe me, you really don't want to know."

"Um... ok," she said uncertainly. Pushing forward, she began to slide down the gradient, and after a moment's hesitation, I followed suit.

The hill down from the chalet was steeper than the bunny hill, and so I took it slowly, snowploughing most of the way down. Yotsuba weaved back and forth across the descent, and I followed suit, though far more slowly. At the bottom, in the depths of the valley, I could see a line of skiers and snowboarders leading up to a building -- and from that building rose chairs hanging from a line, ascending up the mountain.

That must be the thing they call a 'ski lift'.

Eventually, I pulled into the queue. Yotsuba had reached the valley floor significantly before me, but had waited off to the side until I finally arrived. Over the span of the next five minutes we inched forward, until finally we were at the head of the line.

I was close enough now to see what the contraption actually was. A cable was rising up towards the peak of the mountain, and every ten seconds or so, a bench attached to that line would swing around and pick up passengers. The whole concept seemed incredibly dangerous to me, but I imagined there were likely some safety features of which I wasn't aware.

"Ok," Yotsuba said, putting a hand on my shoulder, "we're gonna slide forward as soon as these people go, and stop where they tell us to. When the chair swings around, just sit on it as it comes. When it begins to rise up, lift your skis up off the ground. I'll take care of the rest. Sound good?"

"Seems simple enough," I nodded.

She flashed a grin at me. "Great! Don't fall."

"Huh? Is there any danger of--"

"Go go go go!"

We rushed forward to a line drawn in the snow -- and then a few seconds later the chair was swinging around, and it smashed into the back of my calves, and I sat down with a hard thump. My skis ran along the packed snow as the chair moved forward, and I only barely remembered to lift them off the ground as we began to rise into the air. Wincing, I reached down and rubbed my calf, grabbing the back of the lift with my other hand for stability. Yotsuba reached up above us, and grabbed a metal bar that was attached above our heads which I hadn't noticed. She slowly pulled it down, until we were securely held in place with it across our laps.

"Lift your skis onto the footrests," she said mildly. "It helps keep the bar in place."

I nodded, but my attention wasn't really on the bar -- partially because of the slowly fading pain in my calves, but mostly because of what I could see as I looked back over my shoulder. The view opening up behind us was stunning -- as we rose up the mountain, the valley behind us got smaller and smaller, and the full majesty of the rocky crags amongst which we were nestled came into view. I had thought the view from the ryokan the previous day had been fantastic, but this was in a class of its own. The harsh snowy mountains were devoid of all colour, a landscape of black and white. It almost felt as though some higher being had pulled all the colour out of the world, leaving behind a pristine crystallized remnant.

It was harsh, and yet it was untainted.

Awed, I turned back around to face forward. We had risen quite high above the ground, and the slope below us continued to get smaller and smaller, until the figures racing down it felt like they were just small toys. I saw a couple of children swing by, their laughter rising on the frigid air, as well as some people who I thought were probably amongst my classmates. While I certainly didn't know their names, I had at least a passing familiarity with most of their faces.

I'm really glad I'm not scared of heights.

Eventually, we approached the peak of the mountain, and I nervously glanced over at Yotsuba.

"So... how do we get off?"

"Well, there'll be a small slope at the top that you can slide down. You'll need to just push off the chair, and shoot down."

"I see," I said.

"Of course," she added, glancing over at me with a small smirk on her face, "you're going to fall. Just so you know."

"I... see?" I repeated, a note of panic entering my voice.

"Don't worry, Uesugi-san!" she said, a grin beginning to break out on her face. "I'll pick you up again."

"Why doesn't that reassure me at all?"

She shrugged. "No clue. Take your feet off the footrests, please!"

I did as she asked, and Yotsuba slowly raised the bar again. As we approached the small station at the top of the run, I lifted my skis slightly, and prepared to push off the chair. As my skis made contact, I propelled myself forward -- but I hadn't properly adjusted my weight, and the chair continued to push me forward. I shot down the small slope, and immediately lost my balance. Falling on my slide, I slid a short way-- and then suddenly came to a stop, my view entirely obstructed.

My head had gone straight into a snowbank.

After a moment of disorientation, I pulled myself out from the depths, scowled, and sat up. A small pile of snow fell off my helmet, and I shook more of it free from the newly-acquired scarf which I had wrapped around my face. Yotsuba pulled up beside me, a concerned look on her face.

"Um... I wasn't expecting that much of a wipe-out! Are you ok, Uesugi-san? That looked like it hurt!"

"Once again," I said, my teeth gritted, "nothing hurt but my pride. My pride's definitely hurt though. Would you mind helping me up?"

"Huh? Oh! Yep, sorry!"

Yotsuba reached down and hauled me to my feet. Shaking my head, I rolled my shoulders experimentally. Everything seemed fine.

"Well, that sucked. Let's go down the run," I said decisively. Yotsuba nodded approvingly, and we began to walk over to the right, where one of the "green square" slopes were located -- the easy ones intended for beginners. Yotsuba had explained the labelling system to me weeks before, and had warned me to stay away from the so-called "black diamond" slopes if I valued my life.

Given I did value my life, I would be steering well clear.

As we approached the slope, I began to appreciate just how shallow the bunny hill had been. Where that had been a gentle, rolling hill of no real magnitude, the beast before me was an entirely different thing. The slope stretched out, descending far more rapidly than those to which I had grown accustomed. I glanced nervously over at Yotsuba, who grinned reassuringly at me.

"Go on, you can do it!" she encouraged. Taking a deep breath, I pulled my ski goggles down onto my face, and slowly began to slide forward. As I picked up speed, I was grateful for the scarf wrapped around my face, because the skin that was exposed was being stung. Nevertheless, the frigid air whipping into my face made the experience, the speed, all the more viscerally real. As I picked up a head of steam and began to truly race down the mountain, my nerves melted away.

It was fun.

I didn't even realize I was whooping with glee until Yotsuba shot past me, a flash of a grin followed by her red hair fluttering by, barely contained by the cat-eared toque she was wearing on her head. I grinned back, and lost myself in weaving, accelerating, and trying my best to keep pace with her. Far too soon, the trees that lined the edge of the run opened up, and I saw the chalet spread out below us. It grew larger and larger with our approach, and eventually we were shooting by it at high speed, following the descent of the slope back towards the ski lift at the valley's base. As we made the approach, I began to slow myself down, and eventually, I came to a halt at the back of the queue. A second later, Yotsuba pulled in next to me.

"So?" she asked, her face broken out into a huge grin. "How was it?"

"Amazing," I whispered as I raised my ski goggles onto my helmet, staring back up the mountain. "I can't wait to get back up there."

"Right?" she laughed. "I knew you'd love it."

"I'm glad you're having fun, Uesugi-kun."

Yotsuba and I both looked over to see that the person in front of us in the line had turned around to look at us-- and was none other than Itsuki.

"Yeah, I'm really glad Yotsuba convinced me to come," I agreed. "I didn't think strapping sticks to your feet and throwing yourself down a mountain could be this exhilarating."

"It's quite nice," Itsuki agreed. "Somehow, I find it... calming. The view is also spectacular. It would be even more nice if I weren't being followed around by Takeda-san."

I winced. "Ah. Yeah, sorry, that might be my fault. Where is he, by the way?"

Itsuki looked at me curiously. "I managed to lose him on the slopes. I got far enough ahead of him in line that by the time he reached the top, I was already gone. He'll find me again though -- that was already the third time when I ran into you two."

Then, as we shuffled forward in line, her eyes narrowed. "So... Uesugi-kun. Care to elaborate on what you meant by this being your fault?"

Ah. Shit.

I laughed nervously. "Ah, yes, well. See, after Second Place-san pissed you off yesterday, I... may have torn a strip off of him, and told him he needed to apologize. He seems to have taken that as 'at all cost' and 'at any time'. So... my bad. Sorry."

Itsuki sniffed. "I appreciate you letting him have it. It makes me feel a bit better. He has been relentless though."

"Yeah, that checks out," I sighed, shrugging. "Nevertheless, it feels like there's been some progress."

As Itsuki approached the front of the line, she frowned at me. "Well... maybe."

"I think you should hear him out," I said decisively. "I know he's... like that, but I'm starting to come around to the idea that he means well. I think he might have some other things going on."

"What?"

"I mean, in all fairness to him, he's trying to apologize-- and you're running away every single time he tries. How is he supposed to make it up to you if you keep running away?"

Itsuki's eyes hardened. "Why are you taking his side?"

"I'm not taking a side, I'm--"

"No, you are! He's been harassing me non-stop over this whole trip, and I just want some time to myself on the mountain!"

"Look, I get that," I said, raising my hands in a placating manner. "I'm just saying, you might want to hear him out once."

Itsuki's eye twitched.

"Uesugi-kun, like I said, that boy has been harassing me non-stop since we got here. I'm serious, I've had to spend the last hour trying to shake him off, because he doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'no'! I don't get it -- why are you taking his side?! He's clearly being unreasonable. I'm just trying to enforce my boundaries!"

"I'm not asking you to spend time with him!" I said, frustration creeping into my voice. "I'm just asking you to take five minutes and listen to him! That's all!"

"And I'm saying no! If he wants to talk to me, he can do it during lunch at the chalet, or after we get back to the lodge. I don't go skiing often, and I want to enjoy it, instead of having to be harassed by him! Is that so wrong?!"

"If you listen to him, he'll definitely--"

"Next!"

"Forget it," Itsuki hissed. "I'm disappointed, Uesugi-kun. I thought you, of all people, would take my side in this. I'm leaving."

I watched her slide forward to be lifted by the chair, then looked at Yotsuba and heavily rolled my eyes. She was looking back and forth between us with a panicked look on her face, the one she often got when she wasn't sure if we were fighting. As the lift picked up Itsuki, we both slid forward, and she grimaced.

"Um... I can never tell with you two. Was... was that an actual fight, or you two messing around?"

"An actual fight," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "If you can call it that. She's being completely unreasonable, and I think she knows it. She's being stupid -- if she just... ugh, nevermind."

"Oh..." Yotsuba said quietly.

As we rose into the air and the bar came down, we rode in awkward silence. I looked up at the chair in front of us, where Itsuki was huddled, and I felt irritation spike in my chest again. She was definitely within earshot if I yelled. Nevertheless... I was finding it hard to find my voice.

It was clear I'd pissed her off, but it was equally as clear to me that I hadn't done anything wrong -- and I was pissed off as well.

Nevertheless, as we slowly ascended, I felt that anger begin to ebb away. By the time we were halfway up the mountain, I instead started feeling a gnawing feeling in my chest. I was... dissatisfied. The way that argument had ended rubbed me the wrong way.

I don't want to leave this unsettled.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at the chair dangling ahead of us. I could, just barely, make out the top of Itsuki's head.

I'm... probably going to regret this.

"Itsuki!" I called, my voice presumably reaching up to her. She didn't react.

"Itsuki!" I called again, a hint of irritation entering my voice.

Again, no reaction.

"Itsuki, I know you can hear me. This is stupid."

Itsuki turned back around to look down at me, annoyance and hurt written across her face.

"My feelings aren't stupid, Uesugi-kun!"

"No, they're not, but how you're expressing them is. Since I've got you stuck here, how about you actually listen to me? I'm not saying you have to be friends with Second Place-san. Hell, I'm not, nor do I particularly want to be. He pisses me off. I'm just saying that things will never get better if you don't even let him apologize."

"It's not that I won't let him apologize at all, it's that he's being relentless and I--"

"That's an excuse," I said bluntly.

"What?!"

"It's an excuse. You don't want to confront him because you're still upset from last night, and so you're avoiding him."

Itsuki's face darkened. "Don't try to psychoanalyze me."

"I'm not. I've just known you long enough at this point to figure this stuff out. Look, you don't have to forgive him if you don't want to. You just need to confront him head-on."

"I don't need to do anything."

"If he were just a random stranger, I'd agree," I said, shrugging.

"No, you wouldn't. You're contrary like that."

"Anyways," I said, gritting my teeth in annoyance, "you need to keep interacting with him as your tutor. The least you can do is listen to his apology, and then either accept it or reject it."

"I can do that later. You're taking--"

"Damn it, I'm not taking his side, Itsuki!" I yelled, my temper flaring. "I'm trying to help you as your friend. I'm on your side. I'm suggesting what I think will help you. I don't care about Second Place-san."

Itsuki looked away from me, back up the slope. There was a long pause where she didn't say anything. Then, finally, she looked back down at me.

"I'll think about it," she said finally.

"Fine," I sighed, leaning back in the chair and rolling my eyes.

This girl's pride is going to kill me.

"I..."

I looked back up at Itsuki, who was still looking down at me, her mouth open. I raised an eyebrow, and she looked away.

"Look, I... like you said, I'm just upset right now," she said, loudly enough for me to hear over the gap-- but barely. "I needed some space, and him trying to push in like this isn't affording me that. You saying what you did-- it hurt me, but I think it might be because... I just need to cool down. Let's... let's talk about this later. After I've had some time to think."

I stared up at her in surprise, and suddenly recalled our promise on the balcony months before -- and I realized that she was doing her best to try and honour it.

"Right," I said awkwardly. "Um... sounds good."

Itsuki glanced back down at me again, and a weak smile crossed her face. Then, she looked away again. I glanced over at Yotsuba next to me, who had spent most of the ride studiously looking down at the skiers and snowboarders shooting past beneath us.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I feel like I ruined things."

She glanced back up at me, and smiled, though it seemed a bit strained to me.

"It's fine, you don't need to apologize, and you didn't ruin anything. I just get uncomfortable when you guys fight. That's my problem."

I wasn't totally sure how to respond to that, so I just didn't. As we neared the peak, Yotsuba suddenly tugged violently on my sleeve.

"Huh?"

"Uesugi-san... isn't that Miku down there?"

I glanced down at where she was pointing -- and indeed, stopped on the side of the run was Miku. She seemed to be engaged in a very passionate conversation, her hands moving all over the place as she talked. Her interlocutor, though...

"Do you know who that is?" I asked, frowning. "I don't recognize her, though that doesn't say much."

Yotsuba shook her head. "Nope. I don't think she's from our school -- I scouted out the competition during the orienteering, and I don't remember seeing her there."

I frowned. It wasn't like Miku to randomly make friends with someone on the slopes.

"Hey," I muttered. "Look, I've been thinking this for a while -- Miku's been acting weirdly recently, right? It's not just me?"

Yotsuba frowned at me, then down at the rapidly shrinking Miku and company. Then, she looked back up at me.

"Hmm... I think you might be right. Her being that excited for the camping trip was just bizarre. I wonder what's going on with her?"

"Right?"

"We should ask her," Yotsuba said decisively.

"Eh? You want to just go up to her and ask?"

"Yeah," Yotsuba said, her brow furrowing. "Isn't that the most direct option?"

"I... guess you're right," I nodded. "Let's go talk to them, then."

As we approached the top, Itsuki shot off, and was already gone by the time we dismounted from the lift. I managed to stay on my feet, Yotsuba giving me explicit instructions on which way to go. She arced around in a wide, circular path while I cut a sharp turn to the right. Going around the top of the ski lift, we both shot down the main slope, making our way down to where we'd seen Miku and the mysterious girl.

As we approached, we both slowed down. Miku was still where we'd last seen her -- but as she saw us coming, her eyes widened in panic, and she grabbed the other girl's hand. They both began shooting down the slope away from us, building up a head of steam at the same time that we were decelerating. Frowning, I turned to look at Yotsuba, who was staring down the hill at her sister.

"Oh, it's on," she grinned. "Time to play a little game of tag!"

"On skis?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "Really?"

"Yep! After them, Uesugi-san!"

Yotsuba accelerated, and I took off after her. However, Miku and the other girl had a head-start on us, and while Yotsuba was a faster skier than either of them, I was pitifully slow -- and Yotsuba kept falling back to keep me within her line of sight. Eventually, we reached the bottom of the slope. Miku and the other girl had entered the line for the lift -- but they had already advanced far enough ahead of us by the time we arrived that we couldn't immediately interrogate them.

"Sorry," I muttered to Yotsuba as we finally reached our own spot in the queue. "I'm not fast enough."

"It's fine," she said, shaking her head. "We'll have plenty of opportunities -- like on this next run! Besides, it was still fun!"

"True..." I murmured.

Eventually, we reached the front of the line, and when we were called, I pushed forward onto the marked spot. I turned to look at Yotsuba next to me -- but she wasn't there. Confused, I looked behind me, and saw that she was still at the front of the line, looking back. A large man had picked up a child, and seemed to be fervently apologizing. I could only presume the kid had been standing on the back of her skis.

"I'll be on the next one!" Yotsuba called as the chair swung around and I sat down heavily. "We'll catch 'em!"

"Ok," I said nervously as I lowered the bar by myself for the first time.

The whole way up, I alternated between trying to figure out where, exactly, Miku was, and looking back down at Yotsuba following from below. I thought I saw a glimpse of Nakano red hair several carriages further along, but I wasn't confident. Finally, I reached the top of the lift, and slid down off the chair. Coming to a halt, I turned to watch Yotsuba slide down after me--

But, once again, Yotsuba wasn't there.

Instead, she was dangling in the chair a mere two metres from the lip of the slope, a frustrated look on her face as the chair gently swung back and forth.

The lift had stopped.

"Go after them, Uesugi-san!" she called.

I looked at her.

I looked down the slope.

Then I looked back up at her, and shook my head.

"If I went now, it would take ages for me to find you again," I called. "That, or I'd have to wait at the bottom for ages. I'll just wait here, so we can go down the slope together."

"But-- but they'll get away!"

I shrugged. "It's not like we're never going to see Miku again. She's your sister. We can just ask her later."

Yotsuba seemed stumped by that one, and eventually she just nodded her head glumly. About thirty seconds later, the lift began moving again, and she slid down to join me.

"Unlucky, huh? That the lift broke down like that."

"It didn't break down," she said, glancing at me. "They stop it on purpose if someone falls at the bottom, or at the top in a spot where they could get hit by the lift. It's for safety. You've just been lucky enough to not have it happen yet."

"Oh," I said, feeling a bit foolish. "I see."

"Anyways," she said, a grin breaking out on her face, "we've lost them, so let's not worry about that anymore. You said you wanted to go down the slope together. Let's go!"

With a laugh, she pushed off past me, and took off down the slope.

Then, after a moment where I watched her retreating back, I shook my head, and I took off after her.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur, but eventually the scheduled time for us to return to the chalet for lunch arrived. Putting our skis in a rack, we entered the chalet, and eventually made our way to the cafeteria. Looking around, I frowned.

"You know," I said, frowning, "I expected to find Itsuki here. I was hoping to talk with her."

"Uesugi-san, that's rude," Yotsuba said reproachfully.

"What? It's lunch time."

We briefly separated to get food from the various shops, and then regrouped at the checkout. Thankfully, the tickets attached to our jackets, in addition to having vouchers for ski rental, also came with a meal ticket. As such, I made sure to load my plate -- free food was good food, after all.

Eventually, we checked out, and went to find a table. As we put our food down, Yotsuba grimaced.

"I'll be right back. Toilet!"

"Ah, ok," I said, raising my hand. "I'll guard your food with my life."

"Thanks! Don't die!"

I laughed as I watched her go. Looking down at my food, I decided to hold off on eating until her return. Looking around, I saw that the cafeteria was filled with many of my classmates, as well as families visiting the resort independently. As my eyes passed over the entrance, I saw the door open, and in walked Miku. Behind her was a girl with short black hair, and a pink toque -- the girl with whom she'd been conversing on the slope. To my surprise, she and Miku were laughing together as they talked about something.

"Hey Miku," I called, raising my hand. "Who's your friend?"

Miku looked at me, her eyes widening. She looked over at her friend -- and then they both bolted as best they could in ski boots.

My jaw dropped. Did... did she just completely ignore me, and then run away?

We weren't that close -- but somehow, it felt cold, even for her. Feeling slightly hurt, I poked around at my food with my chopsticks. A few minutes later, Yotsuba returned.

"Mission accomplished!" she said, her bow standing up proudly on her head.

"Congratulations," I clapped. "By the way, I just saw Miku."

"Eh?! Did you press her?"

"I didn't get the chance," I shrugged glumly. "She was with that girl. I said hi, she gave me the cold shoulder, and then she booked it."

"Hmm," Yotsuba said, sinking into her chair. "How mysterious."

"More like how rude," I said drily.

"Eh, Miku is Miku," she shrugged. "Anyways, we'll get to the bottom of this."

"Maybe," I murmured uncertainly. With Yotsuba's return, I began to dig into my food. Suddenly, Yotsuba stood up and started waving.

"Hey! Itsuki! Over here!"

...Ah. She was here.

"Ah... Yotsuba... Uesugi-kun..." Itsuki said awkwardly as she approached. "Um..."

"Come on, sit with us," I said, pulling out the chair next to me. "Let's have a nice lunch."

"...Ok," she said, her nervousness evident in her voice. Sitting, she placed her tray down -- it was, I noticed, even more heaping than mine.

Thankfully, as we ate, Yotsuba kept up a steady stream of chatter to ease things. She told Itsuki about Miku's behaviour, which Itsuki agreed was, indeed, very suspicious. Eventually, however, the conversation died down, our previous fight lingering at the back of our minds. Finally, Itsuki sighed.

"Um... Uesugi-kun?"

"Yeah?" I said, turning in my seat to look at her.

"I... I'm sorry," she said, bowing her head.

My eyes widened in surprise. She looked up at me, and smiled weakly.

"I took some time to think about it and cool off... and I realized that, while I don't know if I agree with your assessment of what I should do about Takeda-san... I was just taking out my anger about him on you. That isn't right. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just trying to be a good friend. I shouldn't have blown up at you, or accused you of taking sides."

She bowed her head again. "I'm really sorry."

I stared down at her in shock. I had expected us to make up, but... I hadn't really expected this level of contrition from Itsuki.

"It's alright," I said, uncomfortably scratching my cheek. "I... may have come on a bit too strongly. If you don't want to listen to him apologize right now, you don't have to. You know you need to hear him out eventually, after all -- but... you're right, it doesn't have to be right now, and you do need to enforce boundaries. Also, I... I wasn't really properly listening to what you had to say."

I bowed my head slightly. "So... what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry too."

There was a protracted silence as Itsuki simply nodded, neither of us quite sure of what to say next -- but the silence was suddenly broken by Yotsuba beginning to laugh.

"What?" I frowned at her.

"Geez, you two are so awkward," she laughed. "You both said you're sorry, so let's be done with it. Itsuki, come ski with us in the afternoon!"

"Are you sure?" Itsuki asked nervously, glancing at me. "Didn't you want to spend time with Uesu--"

"It's fine!" Yotsuba said confidently, hands on her hips in her chair. "We're gonna have a great time, and make tons of memories with no regrets!"

I sighed. "If that's what you want, I'm also fine with it."

Then I smiled at Itsuki. "Just keep in mind, I only learned today. I'm slow."

Itsuki smirked. "So? What else is new?"

"Wait, what?! Hang on a second, you little--"

Itsuki started laughing, and a moment later I joined her, shaking my head. We finished our food, and rose from the table to return outside. Stepping out of the heat of the chalet, the cold felt all the cooler -- and yet, also, strangely warm. Swinging by where Yotsuba and I had left our skis, we were preparing to descend back down the valley when a soft, melodious voice drifted across the wind.

"Naaaaaaakaaaaaaanooooo-saaaaaaaaaan!"

I looked behind me to see Second Place-san trudging along the snow from the chalet far behind us, his hand outstretched. Itsuki looked back as well-- and then looked over at us.

"Run away?" she posed.

"Run away!" Yotsuba cheered.

"Fine," I sighed.

Then, we pushed off, leaving Second Place-san far, far behind.

Notes:

I based most of the ski resort on the place where I used to go skiing with my family. For some reason, all of the employees at that ski resort were always Australian...

As you may have noticed, this chapter took quite a while to come out. Unfortunately, it looks like my update schedule is going to need to be on the slower side of things for the foreseeable future. Nevertheless, I do hope to maintain a schedule of every 2-3 weeks as originally promised, though occasionally things may lean closer to the month mark. Sorry about that!

Finally: poor Takeda. Things will get better for you soon, I promise!

Chapter 27: Very Suspicious

Chapter 27
Very Suspicious

The sun was beginning to get low over the mountains as the bus navigated its way along the winding road, leaving the ski resort far behind. As we made our descent, the snow reflected the fiery red of the sky, bringing colour to a once colourless world. Eventually, the snow gave way once more to the oranges, yellows, and greens of autumn, and the last remnants of the snow were relegated to the shadowy places where it desperately clung to existence.

In the bus itself, we had mostly returned to our previous seating arrangements -- but Miku had elected to sit on another bus, possibly to avoid a grilling from Yotsuba and me. As we rounded yet another bend in the road, I was recounting the day's adventures to Ichika, who was nodding along with a half-smile on her face.

"...and then, we fled Second Place-san, and spent the rest of the afternoon on the slopes. I only fell a couple more times, but Itsuki had a magnificent wipeout -- frankly, I was impressed."

"Hey," Itsuki growled, turning to look back at me through the headrests. "I was trying to avoid that kid who cut across the slope!"

"You and the kid were both fine, though, and so it's hilarious," I shrugged. "I'm fairly certain you slid at least fifty metres."

"Actually," Itsuki said, suddenly laughing in a self-conscious way, "it was kind of funny, wasn't it?"

"I wish I could have joined you guys," Ichika sighed. "I just never ran into you! I was with Hayasaka-chan for the entire time."

"Who?" I frowned.

"Our roommate," Yotsuba said from beside me, stifling a yawn. "You know, the girl Ichika and Miku did the orienteering with."

"Oh!" I said, frowning. "Right, I remember now. She was with you at the Ryokan as well, right?"

"Yep," Yotsuba said sleepily. Then, with another yawn, she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

"It was nice, and she's a lovely girl, but it would have been more fun with everyone there," Ichika sighed. "Oh well, it is what it is."

"Well, the trip isn't done yet," I said, shrugging. "We can still do stuff after we get back to the lodge -- and there's the bonfire tonight as well."

"That's true," Ichika said, smiling back at me through the gap in the chairs. "Thanks, Fuutarou-kun."

I blinked. I wasn't quite sure what she was thanking me for, but I would nevertheless accept the praise.

Ichika turned back around to face forward, and I turned my head to look out the window. Suddenly, I felt a weight fall on my right shoulder. Glancing over, I saw that Yotsuba had slid over from her sitting position, and her head had fallen onto my shoulder.

Her red hair fell in small spools across my jacket, their swirls and eddies flowing across its surface. From this close, I could make out the individual hairs, each so thin and winding. While I couldn't feel her skin due to the polyester separating us, the pressure was enough to give me goosebumps -- literally and figuratively. Her bow was gently swaying as she breathed, the ends tracing a path through the air in front of my face that was near-mesmerizing.

I felt like my eyes had been captured, with no hope of escape.

While, to the best of my abilities, I outwardly managed to avoid changing expressions, on the inside alarm bells were ringing, the clang-clang-clang of an emergency rearing its head on the horizon. All soldiers were at their posts, anticipating their looming duty -- prepared to engage in combat to protect the fort: both from the dangers without, and the dangers within.

Deep in my chest, in the padlocked cage of many things, a dark purr rumbled. Yellow eyes and dark black fur, a heavy paw, thick and deadly. The bars rattled; not by padlocks and keys, but by staves and polearms were the beasts inside eventually quelled. My iron will, so carefully honed over many years, was shaking -- but it was not yet broken. Wrenching my eyes away from the sleeping girl on my shoulder, I glanced out the window, and tried to occupy my mind with something -- anything -- else.

Yotsuba let out a small noise, and readjusted herself slightly in her sleep.

Internally, I screamed.

Itsuki glanced back at me through the gap in the headrests, raised both her eyebrows in surprise, and then a massive smirk crossed her face.

"What?" I hissed quietly.

"Nothing," she said as she turned back around, her voice sounding all the world like she was trying desperately to contain peals of laughter. "Nothing at all."

I couldn't see the back of her head due to the obstruction of the headrest, but nevertheless I glared at it. Ichika also glanced back, chuckled, and then turned forward again. Rolling my eyes, I gently slid back into my chair and looked out the window, trying desperately not to think about the girl gently breathing in and out on my shoulder.

Alas, it did nothing for my elevated heart rate.

About forty-five minutes later, as we were beginning to make the final approach to the camping grounds, Yotsuba awoke with a sudden jolt, and sat up straight, blearily rubbing her eyes.

"Huh...?" she murmured. "Did... I fall asleep?"

"Yep," Ichika said, smiling slyly back at her. "All nice and comfy."

"Huh?" Yotsuba asked again groggily. Then, she squinted at Ichika, and turned to look at me slowly.

Then, she looked down at my shoulder, and her face slowly reddened.

"U-um, sorry, Uesugi-san," she stuttered, a mortified look on her face. "I... uh..."

"It's fine," I said, shrugging. "You clearly needed it."

"Um... but... sorry," she repeated, turning to look away from me.

I frowned. Her reaction seemed a bit over-the-top to me. Glancing down at my shoulder, I suddenly realized why -- there was a wet spot on my coat where her head had been.

Huh. I guess she's a drooler.

I didn't really care, so I just shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

Yotsuba buried her head in her hands , groaning , and I couldn't help but laugh. With that, the bus pulled to a halt at the campgrounds. As we slowly began to disembark , Yotsuba still wasn't making eye-contact with me, and as she walked down the steps as quickly as she could, I could see her ears tinged with crimson and pink through her red hair; two shades so similar, yet so distinct.

Cute.

The thought came unbidden to my mind, and I mentally swatted it away. Back in the cage, dammit!

As the final students exited the bus, the gym teacher appeared from inside the lodge. On his face were the same giant foam sunglasses he'd worn during the orienteering, each lens the size of his face. Once more, I marvelled at the sheer determination with which he was keeping them perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Alright, kids!" he roared at the top of his lungs. "You've got the rest of the time until dinner free! Everyone meet at the picnic tables at eighteen-thirty! Dinner crew, you're on duty starting at eighteen-hundred! Diiiiiiismissed!"

"Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba suddenly exclaimed, turning to me, her earlier embarrassment forgotten in an instant. "I just remembered -- I found a table tennis table in a lounge in the lodge yesterday! Play me!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Is this revenge for me whooping your butt at cards?"

"Huh? What, no, I-- wait. Actually... yes! Muahaha! You'll bow before my might, Uesugi-san!"

Cackling with glee, Yotsuba turned on her heels and started marching off towards the lodge. I turned to Itsuki and Ichika, who were both watching her go with varying levels of amusement on their faces.

"Coming?" I ventured.

"Sure," Ichika smiled lazily. "I'll probably just watch though. I'm not huge on... sports."

I briefly thought back to my own volleyball-related injuries.

...Understandable.

"In a bit," Itsuki shrugged. "I want to go grab my book from my room first."

"Suit yourself," I shrugged. "Shall we?"

With a nod, Ichika started walking after Yotsuba, who had turned back at the entrance to the lodge and was waving frantically for us to follow. After a moment, Itsuki and I followed suit. After walking through the door, Itsuki bid us a temporary farewell, and departed. Mere minutes later, we had arrived in a large lounge area in the basement; and, indeed, there were a number of tables set up for table tennis.

"Alright, Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba called, picking up a paddle from a small alcove in the table. "Get ready for a whoopin'!"

"Bold of you, Yotsuba. I'll probably get at least one point off of you," I said drily, picking up my own paddle. "What are we going to?"

"Twenty-one!"

"Great," I said, nodding. "I'm ready for my beat-down."

"Shi shi shi," Yotsuba snickered. "At least you acknowledge my dominance, Uesugi-san!"

I snorted. Looking down at the paddle, I ran my finger along the material. While I'd certainly heard of the sport before, I'd never actually tried to play. The soft surface felt almost... sticky to the touch. The wooden handle, on the other hand, was smooth and lacquered. It fit into my hand near-perfectly.

"Sure," I said absently, still staring down at the paddle. Then, I looked up at her "I just have one extremely important question before we begin, Yotsuba-sensei."

"Yes, my faithful student?" Yotsuba said smugly.

"Right... what are the rules?"

Yotsuba's jaw dropped.

After a moment of stunned silence, she shook her head. "Um... oh, geez, I wasn't expecting... o-ok! The rules of table tennis! Um..."

Off to the side where she was sat on the couches, Ichika turned away, covering her mouth -- but I could see her shoulders shaking with mirth that she was entirely failing to hide.

"Well, I appreciate the effort to not laugh in my face, at least," I said drily, looking over at her with dead eyes.

"Sorry," she said, wiping a tear from her eye as she turned back around. "I didn't mean to laugh at you, Fuutarou-kun. You really are terrible at sports though, aren't you? How do you not even know the rules to table tennis?"

"Can you get a university degree in table tennis?" I asked.

"I... don't think so?" Ichika said.

I spread my hands in a 'there's your answer' position, and Ichika started shaking again. Rolling my eyes and turning back to the table, I listened attentively to Yotsuba's explanation. It seemed simple enough, so I was fairly confident I could get at least one point off Yotsuba. It reminded me of badminton, which I was at least capable of playing.

It's basically the same thing, right? I'll be fine.

"Ready?" Yotsuba asked.

"Born ready," I said, brimming with false confidence. "When I was a zygote, I already had a table tennis paddle in my hand, practicing for this moment."

"Good! I like your confidence, young one!" Yotsuba chortled. "Now, feel my wrath!"

Yotsuba served. I swung.

The ball phased through my paddle, and onto the floor.

"Eh?" I said, frowning, looking down at the paddle.

"Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said, trying to hide her smile. "You... have to hit the ball with the flat part of the paddle."

"I... thought I did?"

"No, you just missed," she shook her head. "It can be hard to judge the ball's position sometimes."

"...Huh. No, I'm pretty sure that just defied the laws of physics and phased through my paddle."

From the side, Ichika piped up.

"Should have done some more reps in the womb, hmm, Fuutarou-kun?"

I scowled at her.

"Hey now," she said, her smirk growing bigger. "Itsuki-chan isn't here yet, so I'm on teasing-you duty."

"I wasn't aware there was a rotation," I said drily. Turning back around, I tossed the ball to Yotsuba.

"Ok, attempt two!"

A serve.

Another miss.

"Again," I said, gritting my teeth.

Itsuki walked into the room some time later to my howls of frustration. Sitting down in a chair near Ichika, she opened her book, but then looked over at me.

"How's the match going?" she asked.

"How do you think?" I shot back, my teeth not so much gritted as in a vice grip. "Again!"

"Is he getting his butt kicked?" she queried Ichika.

"Badly," she laughed. "It's 17-0 right now."

Itsuki's eyes widened. "Not a single point? Wow. Uesugi-kun, you suck."

"This is my first time ever playing!" I growled.

"I thought you practiced relentlessly in the womb as a zygote?" Ichika asked innocently.

Falling to my knees, I repeatedly banged my head (gently) against the table's edge in frustration. I'd expected to lose -- I hadn't expected to be destroyed this badly. I'd expected to pick up at least a few points off error by Yotsuba... but there hadn't been any.

Yotsuba laughed awkwardly, preparing her serve. "Sorry..."

"It's fine, it's my own incompetence," I said, shaking my head and rising back to my feet. "I want you trying your best. I swear that I'll get a point off you... eventually."

Yotsuba looked doubtful, but she served.

I swung powerfully and made contact with the ball.

It went flying straight and true -- right across the table without touching it once, and far past Yotsuba, who dodged out of the way. It smacked into the far wall, and dropped to the floor with a clatter.

"Hey, at least you hit it!" Yotsuba said as she picked up the gently rolling ball, clearly trying to be supportive.

"Thanks," I sighed, defeated. "Now I just need to hit it in the right direction..."

As Yotsuba got ready to serve again, my eyes wandered to the door behind her leading back up to the main floor. There was a person standing there... watching us. Well, standing wasn't quite right -- they were hiding behind the thick oaken door frame, their figure partially obscured by its girth.

Watching us also wasn't quite right. As I followed their gaze, I realized they were staring at Itsuki.

I sighed.

If you're going to stare at her like that, I thought, mentally shooting daggers at the cowering Second Place-san, just come over and apologize. How could you be so relentless on the slope, and then so timid now?!

Suddenly, the ball smacked harmlessly into my chest. Blinking, I looked down, and grabbed it.

"Uesugi-san...?"

Looking up, I saw Yotsuba looking at me quizzically.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "I was distracted by a certain starer."

"Starer...?"

Yotsuba turned to look at the door, and with a yelp, Second Place-san ran away.

"That was weird," she said, turning back to me. "He was so... straightforward before. Anyways, we don't have to count that serve."

"Right?" I said, shrugging. "We can count it, it was my own fault. Again."

The score quickly reached 21-0, and with that Yotsuba finished me off with a perfect game. Looking extremely pleased with herself for not messing up a single serve, Yotsuba came over and shook my hand -- a gesture that I wasn't totally sure I'd earned, but I took anyways. Even as she vigorously pumped my arm, her hand felt soft in mine.

"Let's go again!" she said.

"Fine," I sighed. "You just want to relish kicking my ass, though."

"What, I-- um... no..."

"It's fine, just admit it."

"I don't want to just kick your butt, Uesugi-san! I wanna have fun playing with you too!"

Doubtfully, I took up my position opposite her.

"If you say so."

As the serving continued, I found myself eventually able to consistently hit the ball, though returning properly was still a challenge. Even as the second round neared its end, I had yet to take a single point off the smug ribboned girl across from me.

"Shi shi shi," she snickered as she prepared to serve. "Witness my dominance, Uesugi-san!"

I was too depressed to offer a retort.

"Alright," Itsuki said, suddenly snapping her book shut and standing up. "I have to head off for dinner duty. See you all tonight!"

"Bye!" Ichika said brightly.

Yotsuba and I both waved to her as she walked around the table and out the door where Second Place-san had been hiding. She disappeared down the hall, and I turned back to the game.

"Huh-- Miku? What are you doing? ...Why were you hiding?"

Itsuki's voice came from the hallway, and I looked sharply up at Yotsuba.

"Uesugi-san...?" Yotsuba asked uncertainly.

"I'm gonna go press her," I said decisively. "This whole hiding and sneaking around and staring and being hot and cold -- it's starting to piss me off. I want answers."

Yotsuba nodded. "I'll come with you."

I was about to agree -- but something in my chest made me hesitate. Some instinct.

The last time Miku told me a secret... she didn't want any of her sisters to know. I wonder if it's related.

"No, I think it'll be easier if I just go on my own," I said, shaking my head. "I just... I have a feeling."

Yotsuba looked a bit hurt, but nodded.

"Ichika?" I said.

"Huh?"

"Catch. Your turn."

"What?!"

I tossed her the paddle and strode out the door. From behind me, I could hear Ichika complaining about not wanting to actually play, but I was soon out of earshot. At the end of the hall, Itsuki and Miku were facing each other -- but as soon as Miku saw me coming, her eyes widened, and she turned and ran.

"Wha-- Miku? Where are you going?!" Itsuki asked in bewilderment.

Charging after her, I shot past Itsuki -- or at least, that was how I saw it in my mind's eye. It was probably more of a quick lope. Luckily for me, Miku was hardly a paragon of athleticism either, and so as I chased her across the hall and up the stairs, I neither gained nor lost ground.

Reaching the top of the steps, I saw Miku's red hair rounding a corner, and I charged after her. Dashing around the bend and sliding slightly on the carpet, I could see her chugging along down the hallway. Taking off after her, it was all I could do to draw breath as I funnelled all my energy into my legs. Miku looked back over her shoulder, her hair catching slightly in her headphones: and even from this distance, I could see the flare of panic in her eyes.

Instantly, part of me felt guilty -- though as to why, I wasn't sure.

Nevertheless, I persisted.

Miku turned another corner, and as I too rounded it, I saw with horror that she was on the verge of entering a place I couldn't follow -- the women's washroom.

"Sneaky," I hissed as she raced inside.

Pulling to a halt just outside the door, I raised my hands to my mouth.

"Miku!" I called. "I just want to talk!"

A minute passed with no response. Then, just as I was beginning to get self-conscious of the fact that I was loitering outside a women's washroom, none other than Nino emerged from the bathroom. Frowning, I moved out of her way.

"Uesugi," she said coldly. "Why are you creeping outside the washroom?"

"I'm not," I scowled. "I'm waiting for Miku to come out."

Nino sniffed. "Sounds like creeping to me, pervert."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you say."

Nino strode away, and rounded the corner. I watched her go, and then turned back to the washroom.

Another minute passed, and Miku hadn't emerged.

Weird...

Suddenly, my eyes narrowed.

"Hang on a second!" I exclaimed indignantly, turning back to look the way that Nino had gone. Running to the corner, I looked around it to see, of course, an empty hallway.

She didn't disguise herself as Nino... did she?

Charging down the hallway, I exited out into the main lobby, and looked up at the balcony on the second floor. Sure enough, I saw Miku walking towards one of the hallways on the far side, a distinctly smug look on her face.

She doesn't know I figured her out. Time to be sneaky.

I immediately slipped out of the lobby and up the stairs. Hurrying to where I'd last seen her, I rounded the bend and saw her leisurely strolling, almost at the end of the hallway. Power-walking after her, I reached the end myself and saw that she was no more than a few metres away from me, her back turned away. Stepping softly up to her, I reached out and tightly grabbed her shoulder from behind.

She immediately jumped, turning her head to look at me in surprise, her mouth hanging open in fright.

"Gotcha," I said grimly. "That was a dirty trick, Miku."

Miku squeaked -- but, instead of responding, she ducked out from under my hand, and then began running again. Gritting my teeth, I once again raced after her.

Isn't she tired of this?!

She rounded the corner, but she'd lost her head start, and I maintained my separation, neither gaining nor falling behind. Charging past a teacher who called after us angrily, Miku emerged back onto the balcony and crashed into the railing. Rolling to the side, she used the momentum to clumsily push herself towards the hallway leading to the stairs. Swinging around the corner sharply without going anywhere near the railing (more out of a fear of going straight over it than any desire for efficiency), I tailed her closely.

Tap tap tap tap.

She shot down the stairs.

Thud thud thud thud.

I followed.

Racing through the centre of the lobby, Miku had fully given in to her panic at this point. Ignoring the teacher yelling down from the balcony, she charged straight across the large room with its couches and fireplaces and rural regalia, and blasted out the doors. Paying minimal heed to those things as well, I enacted my pursuit, refusing to allow her a moment's respite to try and trick me again.

Outside, the unseasonal warmth that had characterized the past few weeks was beginning to fade away, and the icy chill of the mountains was settling in with the sun far lower over the stony peaks. Darkness was already on the verge of falling. Miku, pouring sweat, took off across the stone plaza, making a beeline for the woods.

Seriously?!

Frustrated, I gave chase.

Stone soon gave way to trail and branch and shrubbery. As she clumsily leapt over roots and dodged tree branches in her headlong dash down the trail, I could tell that she was beginning to lose steam -- her lack of natural athleticism was beginning to catch up with her. Her movements were growing sloppier, and her breath, which I was close enough to hear, was ragged. She was definitely slowing.

Unfortunately, so was I.

Wheezing, my lungs on fire, it was all I could do just to keep pace with her. Every breath I took was agony, and my legs were threatening to cramp with every step. A small part of my mind, the one that had long since given into the madness of lactic acid, was ruing my decision to not start running with Yotsuba.

She only offered the morning we left, idiot. It wouldn't have made any difference yet.

Eventually, we rounded a corner, and I saw the small bridge which Itsuki, Yotsuba and I had crossed during our orienteering. As Miku stumbled across it, she lost her footing, and she fell flat on her face.

"Miku!" I called, finally catching up. Crouching next to her, it was all I could do to not topple over as well from sheet exhaustion. "Are... are you ok?"

Struggling, Miku looked up at me.

"I think so," she panted, before wincing. "Actually... I think I may have skinned my knee. I... don't think it's anything serious though."

Rolling over and sitting up, I could see that she had scraped her knee, and while it didn't look like she was bleeding, it did look like it needed to be cleaned.

"Let's head back to the lodge," I said, wiping sweat out of my eyes. "You should get that cleaned up, and it's going to be dangerously dark soon."

Miku nodded silently, and rose to her feet unsteadily.

"Can you walk?"

"I... I think so."

"...Ok," I said, suddenly unsure of what to do. Getting her treated was far more important than pressing her over some secrets.

With Miku walking slowly next to me, her shoulders hunched, I felt a bit like a dog who had frantically chased an ambulance down the street, only to suddenly surprisingly catch it. Just like the canine chaser, I was clueless as to what to actually do now that I'd caught my target. We walked in silence for several minutes -- but with our slowed pace, given our depleted energy reserves, it was clear we'd be on the trail for a while longer.

I still wanted to press her. That said, I had no idea how to actually broach the subject.

How... do you ask someone why they're being weird... without being rude?

Then, I blinked.

Wait, since when have I ever cared about being rude?

"Hey, Miku," I said suddenly, and she started.

"U-Uh...Yes?"

"You've been acting weirdly lately," I said, pointing my finger at her. "What's going on? Spill the beans."

Miku, instead of getting angry, simply looked away from me.

"What... what do you mean?"

I frowned. "You know exactly what I mean. You've been staring at me non-stop, and yet also switching between being friendly and giving me the cold shoulder, seemingly at random. I don't get it -- I thought Nino was the queen of mixed signals, but you're really starting to give her a run for her money here."

Miku opened her mouth... and then closed it again.

We walked on in silence for an entire minute more without her saying anything, and I could feel my irritation beginning to spike.

Yep. As expected, I don't have the patience for this sort of thing. Maybe I should have let Yotsuba come after all.

"It's... it's complicated," Miku muttered.

"Is it really?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"No, not really," she admitted.

I just kept my eyebrow raised .

She remained silent.

"Oh, also," I added , " t hat reminds me -- who was your friend? Your sisters were extremely curious. I'll admit to also having had my curiosity piqued. Slightly. Marginally. Just a little bit."

Miku seemed to be struggling with something internally. As we stepped over a fairly large root in the trail, she suddenly stopped, and I almost walked into her.

"I don't want to say," she pouted, turning to look back at me. "That's why I ran away."

"Why? I already know your secret. What's another one?"

Miku's eyes narrowed as she took that logic into consideration-- and then she seemed to almost wilt.

"Fine. I'll... I'll tell you."

I waited.

Nothing.

I made a ' continue on' gesture.

"I guess I need to go pretty far back," she started.

I simply nodded.

"Fuutarou... do you remember? That day, on the balcony."

Frowning, I slowly nodded again. "I remember. The day I made up with Itsuki. You told me about your love of Sengoku-era warlords."

As I named her passion aloud, Mike seemed to instinctively flinch and look around, as though hunting for eavesdroppers. After being seemingly reassuring herself that we were, in fact, in the depths of the woods, she nodded.

"Do you remember what you told me that day?"

"Uh... believe in yourself? Something along those lines?"

"Not quite," she said, smiling softly. "You told me that it was ok to be proud of what I like."

"Right, that's what it was," I said, nodding.

"I actually... really took those words to heart," Miku said quietly. "Not enough to tell my sisters... but I realized that night that I wanted someone to talk to. Someone to share my passion with. I didn't want to be ashamed of what I like."

"And... that's why you've been acting weirdly?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm getting there, Fuutarou," Miku said, pouting. "Be patient."

"Ah. Sorry."

"Anyways," she continued. "I was lying in bed that night, and I decided I needed someone to talk to. I thought about talking with you about it... but Yotsuba and you were so busy with preparing for midterms that I realized it wouldn't work. So..."

"So?"

"I decided to look for people online who like Sengoku warlords," Miku said matter-of-factly.

I frowned. "There are people on the internet who like Sengoku-era warlords?"

"There are people on the internet who like everything, Fuutarou," she said.

"I... see," I said, not seeing at all.

"Anyways, I found a community of people who like warlords, and so I started talking with them about my favourite games, who the best warlord is, who... who the most handsome is. Things like that."

Are... are any of them handsome?

I diplomatically chose to keep that thought to myself.

"Most of them were guys, which was fine... but there were a few girls there too, which surprised me. There was one of them that I started talking to every day, and playing online with her... it was a lot of fun."

Miku seemed embarrassed by this, but I was still stuck on the point that there were entire communities of people in the nebulous virtual world of the internet who liked ancient warlords.

The internet is scary.

"Anyways, I... I was talking with my friend every day, and pouring hundreds of hours into playing with her."

"Ok, and--"

"So, when Takeda gave his first session... I completely forgot about it, and was up in my room talking and gaming with my friend. By the time I realized what had happened, he'd already finished tutoring and left."

In my chest, small embers of pity for Second Place-san smouldered.

"Then," Miku said, ploughing ahead -- now that she'd begun talking, she was starting to really get into it. "When I came downstairs, Yotsuba and Itsuki were complaining about how terrible the session was, and how much of a jerk the tutor was... and I realized something."

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't tell them why I'd skipped."

I frowned. "Wait, why not?"

"If they knew I was talking to a friend and gaming instead of attending the tutoring session with them... they'd want to know about the friend, and how I met her."

"...And then they'd have learned about the warlords," I said, an inkling of comprehension beginning to dawn on me.

Miku nodded glumly. "So... so I lied."

I was silent, awkward. I wasn't sure how to respond. I wasn't even sure if she wanted me to respond.

There's more to this than I thought.

"I told Yotsuba and Itsuki that I refused to attend the session out of principle. Honestly, I just sort of panicked and came up with something on the spot. After that, though... I'd made it into some big thing. I couldn't suddenly start attending the sessions after that."

"...Ah."

I frowned, scratching my cheek. It had never made sense to me that Miku had been so opposed to tutoring by Second Place-san. Now, I knew why -- she hadn't been opposed at all.

"So, I... just didn't go. Every session, I was just holed up in my bedroom playing video games with Maggie, and--'

"Maggie?" I frowned.

"Oh," Miku said. "That's my friend's username -- Maggie, and then some numbers. I think it's after a character in a western show or something. That's not her real name, obviously."

"What is her real name?" I asked, confused. What's a username?

"Komagi Rei, but I usually just call her Maggie in my head. Actually, now that I think of it... maybe it's from her name as well? Komagi, Maggie... Hmm. I didn't think of that before now... I'll ask her later."

"Ok, let's focus," I said, feeling quite strongly that the topic of conversation had diverged. "So, you skipped out on Second Place-san's sessions to play video games with this... Maggie? Repeatedly?"

Miku pouted at my tone... but then nodded. I could tell she wasn't particularly proud of it.

"So... I heard you failed pretty badly. I guess that's direct cause and effect."

"I still passed Social Studies," Miku protested. "Barely, but..."

"You barely passed the subject that you're so obsessed with that you skipped your tutoring sessions?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

"Most of the questions weren't on Sengoku warlords," she said glumly. "My score dropped a lot... thirty-two out of a hundred."

"That checks out," I sighed, "but also, ouch. Ok, so what happened after that?"

As I asked, I began walking again, and after a moment, Miku began walking after me. The trail was littered with roots, which made walking and talking somewhat difficult -- but I didn't particularly want to linger after the sun had finished setting. We were already cutting it dangerously close.

"Just before the exam, Maggie told me she was going to be going skiing in November. A family trip, or something. I checked the dates, and realized it was a week before our own school trip -- and when I asked, I found out she was going to the same resort we were!"

"How fortuitous," I said drily. That sounds suspicious as hell.

Maybe my skepticism was visible on my face, because Miku's eyes hardened.

"She brought up the ski resort first, Fuutarou."

"I see," I said carefully.

"Anyways," Miku continued, "Maggie lives in Tokyo, so it's not like I was going to get a lot of chances to see her -- but we weren't going at the same time, so at first I thought, 'oh well, that sucks,' and forgot about it."

"Seems reasonable."

"Yeah, but then she convinced her family to change the weekend they were going skiing."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Wow, that's... that's a big commitment."

"I know," Miku nodded. "I was pretty surprised too. I've voice chatted and video called Maggie before, but getting to meet her in person was a pretty exciting idea -- and she even went so far as to change which weekend she was going."

Well, that explains how weirdly she was acting on the bus here, and on the way up to the ski resort. She must have been messaging this person the whole time. I see.

"So, we had made plans," Miku continued, oblivious to my analyzing eyes, "and I was starting to really look forward to this trip -- I was going to finally meet up with a friend that I could talk with about warlords as much as I wanted."

"I see," I nodded.

"Then, Dad threatened to cancel the trip."

I froze. "Oh. Right. The threatened community service."

"Right," Miku said glumly. "It's my own fault, I shouldn't have lied and skipped the tutoring sessions... but I panicked. So, I decided I would start attending, because I really wanted to go on this trip."

"So that's why you were so distraught about it," I said, slamming my closed fist down onto my palm. "It all makes sense now."

"Huh? You... you noticed that?" Miku asked.

"Well, you see," I said drily, "I have eyes."

"Rude," Miku pouted. "You don't need to be like that."

"Ah, sorry," I said, raising my hands. "My bad."

We rounded a corner on the trail, and I realized with a start that it was already starting to get quite dark. Pulling out my phone, I saw that it was approaching dinner time. I slightly increased my pace, my aching legs complaining about my tyranny -- but alas, not being independently sentient, they had no rights.

Miku caught up, and shook her head.

"Anyways, Takeda's sessions weren't that bad. I don't know what Yotsuba and Itsuki were being so dramatic about."

"That's because you joined after the midterms," I said, a strange feeling of defensiveness suddenly rising in my chest. "Second Place-san got humbled pretty badly. His ego got temporarily deflated."

"Maybe," Miku said doubtfully.

"Emphasis on temporarily," I said darkly. "You'll see."

Probably.

There was some small part of me that was hopeful that Second Place-san would seriously change his ways -- but I was hardly an optimist. His reverting to form was far more likely.

As we neared the head of the trail, I turned back around to look Miku dead in the eye.

"So, that explains most of your weirdness--"

"Hey, that's not a nice way of putting it," Miku frowned.

"...Fine, that explains most of the way you were acting. Not all of it though."

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't explain the way you've been acting around me ," I said pointedly. "Ever since the midterms, it feels like you've been acting hot and cold around me -- standing up to defend me from Nino, and then ignoring me completely. I don't get it."

"Oh..."

Miku looked away from me, and for the first time, I thought I saw her blush.

...Wait, what?

"It's embarrassing," she said quietly.

"...Go on," I said disbelievingly. This had better not be what I think it is.

Miku took a deep breath, and gulped. Then, she looked up at me.

"I... I..."

I raised an eyebrow in trepidation, and Miku apparently decided to just get it all out at once.

"Since the midterms ended, I thought you might have more free time! Which meant you... might be free to talk about Sengoku warlords with me! Since you're the only person I know in real life who knows. Talking with Maggie is fun, but... it's not the same. It was when I finally got to meet her today, but... I want to talk about my hobbies in person! I want someone who can sit next to me while I'm playing and talk to me about it!

"I wanted to ask about all that-- I want a real-life friend to talk to about my passions! It's... but... but it had been over a month since we had that talk on the balcony. It... it felt awkward to bring it up out of nowhere. I didn't know what to do -- I wanted to be your friend and hang out, but I also didn't know how to do that, and I... I didn't want you to think I was trying too hard. So..."

Miku paused, seeming to get caught up in her words.

"So I would sometime lose myself in it, and then sometimes I'd remember." Miku eventually finished lamely. "That's... that's it."

I was silent, suddenly embroiled in my own thoughts.

Well, at least it wasn't some kind of confession out of the blue, like I thought it was at first -- that would have been awkward in the extreme. I've barely talked to her. That said... she wants to be my friend? Can... can people become friends that easily?

Admittedly... whenever I've hung out with Miku, I've enjoyed myself. Playing cards with her is fun, and while I'm not particularly enamoured with Sengoku warlords the way she is... it could be fun to learn more about them.

Hmm...

With a start, I realized that Miku was anxiously staring at me, waiting.

"So, just to summarize," I said slowly, "you were acting like that... because you wanted to be friends, but were too awkward to directly bring it up, and weren't entirely sure of what to even do."

Miku glumly nodded, and I suppressed a laugh.

"Well then," I said, shaking my head. "I guess that's fine with me. I'm happy to be friends. So long as it doesn't get in the way of my studying, of course."

She pouted. "Why do you make it sound like it's conditional?"

I frowned. Because it is...?

"Ah, well, whatever," Miku said quietly. "I'm just happy I finally have someone else to talk to about Takeda Shingen..."

Then, a soft smile slipped onto her face, and Miku walked past me on the trail, continuing on towards the lodge.

Picking up the pace to catch up with her, a soft smile slipped unbidden onto my face in turn. Somehow, I felt like I'd been handed something precious out of the blue, and while I wasn't totally sure how to handle it, I could tell it was a fragile thing. Delicacy was needed... and care.

Am I up to the task?

"So..." I ventured as we approached the front doors of the lodge. "What should we tell the others?"

"Huh?"

"Your sisters," I elaborated. "They knew I was going after you because you were acting weirdly. What should we tell them?"

Miku paused for a second without answering, looking upwards at the arching wooden frame of the lodge above us, its rustic style almost calming, perhaps. A look, which I thought might have been fear, crossed her face for a moment, and then she took a deep breath, and looked over at me.

"As gentle as the forest, and as unshakeable as the mountains," she whispered.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Tell them," Miku said, a note of decisive steel entering her voice, "that I will explain everything to them myself. Just... not yet. Soon."

I shrugged. "Sure, sounds good. Yotsuba's going to whine about that, though."

Miku shrugged, and stepped past me. "Oh well."

Her dismissal seemed a little cold, but I decided to shrug it off. I definitely didn't fully understand the girl pushing the lodge doors open in front of me-- not yet, anyways.

Maybe, though, by being her friend... I will, one day.

We re-entered the lodge, and descended back into the basement. As we walked through the door, a small plastic ball whizzed past my head. Looking over, I saw Ichika panting, sweat pouring down her face.

"F-Fuutarou-kun!" she whimpered, an uncharacteristically desperate note in her voice. "Save me!"

"Huh?!"

Yotsuba turned to face me from where she was standing at the other end of the table. A near-maniacal look was on her face.

"Uesugi-san, you're back! It's your turn!"

I sighed, and walked back over to Ichika as Yotsuba laughed maniacally.

"Sorry for shunting that on to you," I said, taking the paddle back.

Instead of responding, Ichika just staggered over and collapsed onto a couch. Miku went and sat next to her... and as I tossed the ball to Yotsuba, she smiled at me.

"Remember, Fuutarou," she said quietly, "be as fierce as the flames."

Yotsuba looked at her curiously, then back at me, and raised an eyebrow.

Later , I mouthed to her. Glancing over at Miku, I nodded.

"Noted."

Then, I swung the paddle at Yotsuba's serve -- and finally managed to make a return.

Notes:

Some couple-dozen chapters after it happened in canon, the Miku chase is here!

As I was finishing up this chapter, I was struck by the unfortunate fabled "AO3 curse", by which I mean that I was playing soccer/football, and my ankle spontaneously decided on its own that being vertical was for suckers. It's definitely sprained.

Luckily, I don't write with my toes. This is why we don't play sports, kids.

I'll see you all in the next chapter, which I've been looking forward to for a long time!

Chapter 28: Firelight

Chapter 28
Firelight

"Uesugi-kun... that's an abomination."

I looked up in annoyance from the hamburger I had been about to bite. "Don't call my dinner an abomination, Itsuki."

With the clatter of plates and the chatter of students surrounding us, Itsuki looked distastefully at the creation in my hands. Dinner had been a hamburger bar, with the option to add as many toppings as we liked. Given I'd scarcely had any opportunities in my life to eat hamburgers, let alone experiment with them, I'd decided to have a bit of everything.

This was, however, apparently a faux pas.

"Does it... even taste good?" Yotsuba asked, a less judgemental but equally incredulous look on her face.

"I'd offer you a bite, but... I, uh, don't really know what the best way to share a hamburger is."

Yotsuba laughed, but then suddenly frowned.

"Uesugi-san... what's the reddish-white stuff on there? It's leaking on your fingers."

"Not sure," I shrugged, licking the length of my fingers. "Tastes great though."

For some reason, Yotsuba's face reddened slightly.

"It's probably some sort of spicy mayo," Itsuki sighed. "Honestly, Uesugi-kun, what didn't you put on there?"

"Tomatoes."

"Wait, what? Why wouldn't-- Uesugi-kun, that's a classic hamburger staple!"

I shrugged. "Wasn't feeling it."

Itsuki sighed again and lowered her head into her hands.

"You know," Miku said, leaning over from her seat next to Yotsuba, "you have a lot of stuff on yours too, Itsuki..."

"Hey!" she protested, lifting her head and clutching her burger protectively. "Don't compare the two of us! I actually thought about what I was putting on here! It's a carefully considered fusion of palettes and flavours, brought together to create the ultimate burger experience. I worked really hard on this!"

"Huh..." Miku said doubtfully.

"That sounds like a lot of work," I commented, taking another bite out of mine. "Good job."

"Why do I feel like you're mocking me?" Itsuki complained.

"Because I am," I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin. On the other side of Itsuki, Ichika suddenly started coughing, and turned away. Itsuki glared at me.

"You little--"

"Nakano? Nakano?! Ah, there you are-- wait, which one are you?"

We all looked up at the teacher who had stopped after approaching our table, confusion on her face.

"Which Nakano are you after, Sensei?" Itsuki asked, turning her glare away from me with some difficulty.

"Um... Nakano Yotsuba," she said uncertainly.

Yotsuba shot to her feet, and saluted.

"Nakano Yotsuba, reporting for duty!" she announced, a few crumbs still scattered around her lips. I wrenched my eyes away before I could succumb to any distraction.

"We're starting to prep the bonfire. Everyone on bonfire duty is being asked to meet at the plaza in fifteen minutes."

"Roger!" Yotsuba said. Sitting back down, she quickly finished her hamburger while the teacher walked away.

"Do you want me to come?" I ventured. "You helped with my job, after all."

"I mean, you already helped last night, Uesugi-san, so..."

I shook my head. "I don't mind."

A grin split Yotsuba's face. "Well, in that case, thank you very much!"

Turning back to my plate, I momentarily mourned that I could no longer slowly savour my creative creation -- but I had higher priorities. Eating the rest at a heightened pace, I grabbed one of my several previously procured napkins, and self-consciously wiped my mouth clean before rising from the bench table. I stowed the remaining few in my pocket -- with the number of times I'd gotten dirty over the past number of days, having a few clean napkins on hand would likely be useful.

At least it's not climbing trees.

Swinging my leg over the sawn wooden log, I grabbed my paper plate and tossed it in the large garbage bin that was a few metres away, as well as the used napkin. Bidding a temporary farewell to the remaining Nakanos who were present, we left.

As Yotsuba and I walked away from the table, I glanced over at her.

She still had crumbs at the corners of her lips. Deep in my chest, a single thick paw lazily reached through the bars... and a small, hairline fracture appeared in the cage.

As we rounded the corner of the lodge, I frowned. "Yotsuba?"

"Yeah?" she asked, turning to look at me.

"Can you stand still for a moment?"

"Uh... sure?"

I fished a napkin out of my pocket, and quickly wiped the crumbs off her face. I felt the flow of her skin under the paper, the curve of her lips. After having removed them, I quickly pulled my hand back, and turned to keep walking. From the corner of my eyes, though, I could see that Yotsuba's eyes had widened, and a dusting of pink had crossed her cheeks. I could feel the blood rushing through my own face, heating it up -- I was sure my cheeks were identical to hers.

Why the hell did I do that?! I could have just handed her the napkin!

"Um! Um... thanks," Yotsuba murmured, her ears slowly growing redder as she trotted after me.

Embarrassed by my own, seemingly irrational actions, I just nodded awkwardly and kept walking. Ahead of us was the huge bonfire we'd helped erect the previous day. Lit only by small work lanterns the teachers had sporadically placed, I saw that an area had been demarcated to the left -- though for what purpose, I wasn't sure. I turned to ask Yotsuba -- but she was already gone. Noting a nearby garbage bin, I tossed the used napkin, and then went to look for her.

I eventually tracked her down -- she was talking with a teacher, who was holding a clipboard and looking a bit frayed. As I approached, Yotsuba turned and smiled, though there was still a hint of pink around her ears.

"Uesugi-san, apparently they want help with setting up the fireworks. The teachers will be the ones to actually operate them... but for safety reasons they have to be set up in a specific way."

I nodded. "Sounds good. Lead the way."

As Yotsuba turned to walk away, I noticed a spring in her step. I nodded to myself -- it made sense. After all, I'd never set up large fireworks like these before, and Yotsuba probably hadn't either. That was certainly something to be excited about.

From deep in my chest came a whisper, a hallucination, that it was about me wiping her face with the napkin. Uneasily, I dismissed it.

That can't be it. That makes no sense.

I began walking after Yotsuba, and eventually found myself working with a small team, all of us setting up what seemed to almost be miniature cannons in a sandy part of the plaza off from the main section. The work was straightforward, but somewhat tedious. Eventually, as we were wrapping up, our classmates began to slowly filter in from the picnic tables.

"Alright," the teacher called. "Bonfire team, you're dismissed. Good job -- enjoy the party!"

There were cheers from the group around me, and then the bonfire team dispersed amongst their peers. I found myself separated from Yotsuba once again, much to my chagrin. Looking around, there was nobody nearby that I recognized. Frowning, I began attempting to navigate my way through the rapidly growing crowd of people.

Then, the bodies momentarily parted, and I saw Itsuki sitting on a log on the periphery of the plaza, about twenty metres away, reading her book. With a faint feeling of relief, I began to push towards her, and finally emerged from the throng about ten metres away. More students were arriving by the minute, a flood filling the plaza like a breached dam. Continuing my approach, I was only about five metres away when something caught my eye.

From amongst the crowd of people to my left, a certain blond was watching Itsuki with a miserable look on his face.

I looked at Itsuki.

I looked at Second Place-san.

Then, I sighed, and turned to walk over to him.

He noticed me as I arrived next to him, and a cool look crossed his face.

"Uesugi Fuutarou," he said to me curtly, before returning to watching Itsuki.

"You know," I said conversationally, "her reaction is exactly why I asked you to not be relentless."

"I need to do things my own way," Second Place-san sniffed. "Indeed, 'tis a basic matter of honour."

I rolled my eyes, but Second Place-san didn't notice, his attention entirely trained on one spot.

"I did try," I added, sighing. "I tried to convince her to just hear you out -- but she was adamant that she wanted you to wait until we were off the slopes. We actually had a fight over it."

That was enough to get Second Place-san to wrench his eyes away from the star-spangled girl across the way. "You... what?"

"Which part are you saying 'what' to?"

"You pled with her on my behalf?!" Second Place-san asked, his face seeming to warm by several degrees.

"I... don't like the implications that I would plead with Itsuki for anything," I said, shifting uncomfortably. "That said... yes?"

Second Place-san sighed. "Then I am in your debt, Uesugi Fuutarou. Please, tell me -- I may be Maeda-kun's Love-sensei, but when it comes to these sorts of platonic relations of my own... well, I must admit, I'm quite helpless. I haven't the foggiest of how to approach her."

I paused, and then sighed. Even though this was the second time, the blond boy's admission of weakness was still something that threw me off-kilter.

"Right," I muttered. "Look, the bonfire hasn't even started yet. She's just reading her book. If you're going to go apologize, now is the time."

"She... she won't ward me off again?" Second Place-san asked, a note of fear creeping into his voice.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "This is still your best opportunity, though."

Second Place-san nodded several times, though whether it was to me or to himself, I wasn't sure. He squared his shoulders, and began to march towards her.

"Ah, one more thing," I said, raising my hand. He turned back around, a confused look on his face.

"Yes?"

"I'm not saying this to insult you... but it's important."

A wary look crossed Second Place-san's face.

"When you talk to her... your chuunibyou energy is usually around an eleven. If you want her to believe you're sincere, you need to bring that number down. Just speak plainly."

A conflicted look crossed his face... and then he nodded.

"Roger. I shall-- um... I'll be back."

Nodding approvingly, I watch the blond boy go. Looking around, I realized with a sigh that I still couldn't find anyone else I knew, least of all Yotsuba. Weighing my options -- the crowd or the awkward scene that was about to unfold -- I decided to move closer to Itsuki and see how it went.

Somehow, this feels like eavesdropping, despite the fact we're in public...

A brief jolt of guilt shot through my chest, but I suppressed it. Itsuki almost certainly wouldn't care that I was listening... and this way, I could step in if things went haywire.

That was the rationale I gave myself, anyways.

I was well within earshot when Second Place-san finally reached Itsuki.

"Um..."

Itsuki didn't look up from her book.

"Nakano-san?"

Itsuki still didn't look up from her book, but her eyebrow twitched. My mouth thinned, concern beginning to mount in my gut. This doesn't look good.

Second Place-san winced. "Can we talk, please? I'm sorry for being so relentless on the slope -- that was indeed foolish of m-- uh, I mean, that was uncalled for. I would be deeply grateful if you would hear me out."

There was a moment of silence... and then Itsuki sighed, and closed the book, her finger sliding into the gap to maintain her spot.

"Fine," she said quietly, "I'll listen."

"Thank you," Second Place-san said, bowing his head. "I appreciate it."

There was another moment of silence, broken only by the chattering of the crowd.

"Well?" Itsuki prompted.

"Sorry, I'm... I'm trying to figure out how to word things," the blond boy said softly -- I had to strain my ears to hear him. "I was inform-- um, I got some advice to... simplify things. To... not talk how I normally talk. To talk plainly."

I sighed. Clearly, not being a walking beacon of chuunibyou energy was a challenge for him.

Itsuki just nodded, though I noticed that the corner of her mouth twitched upward, possibly against her will.

"Um... ok," Second Place-san said, taking a deep breath. "I'm... I'm very sorry for the thing I said last night. It was deeply insensitive and rude of me -- I don't know what I was thinking. I was trying to find things to talk to you about, and I just completely stuck my foot in it."

"Why were you trying to find things to talk to me about?" Itsuki asked, a frown crossing her face.

"Because..."

Second Place-san took a deep breath, then sighed.

"Because I want to get to know you better."

Itsuki's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. Second Place-san suddenly realized his mistake, and began waving his hands. "Ah-- Ah, not like that! Apologi-- um, I mean, I'm sorry. What I meant to say was, I want to be on better terms with you within the confines of this tutoring relationship. I've... had it very thoroughly explained to me that I've been negligent. In my treatment of you, and also of your sisters."

Itsuki closed her mouth, and nodded silently.

"So... I suppose, ultimately, I wish to turn a new leaf in this tutor-student relationship. I am aware that my tutelage was... not as effective as I may have hoped. That said... I hope that you have it in your heart to forgive me," Second Place-san said, bowing his head deeply to Itsuki. "I am truly sorry for my rude behaviour."

I was flabbergasted. I hadn't expected Second Place-san to bow his head to her -- and from her reaction, neither had Itsuki. She simply stuttered for a few moments, and then swallowed.

"I... fine. I'll accept your apology."

Second Place-san looked up, a beaming grin breaking out on his face.

"However."

The grin froze.

"You'd best be on your best behaviour," Itsuki warned. "I don't want to work with a jerk of a tutor who's going to insult me or call me stupid."

I half-expected Second Place-san to flare up at her words, as he had in the past when he'd felt I'd slandered him. Instead, to my surprise, he lowered his head again in contrition.

"Absolutely," he said softly. "I swear it o-- uh, I mean... I promise."

"Well then," Itsuki said, rising to her feet -- and to my surprise, there was a small smile on her face as she extended her hand. "I... guess we have a deal."

Second Place-san raised his head again, and beamed at her. Grabbing her hand, he shook it firmly. "Yes! Absolutely!"

"Now," Itsuki said, glancing around at the swelling crowd, "if you'll excuse me... I'm going to go put my book away before the event starts."

"O-Oh. Sure, sounds good," the blond boy said, suddenly unsure of what to do. Itsuki nodded her head to him, and then strode off. Second Place-san looked around aimlessly, before spotting me and trotting back over.

"I... think that went rather well!" he said cheerfully.

"Shockingly so," I said drily. "You strike a rather tragic figure, all bowed and contrite like that."

He just rolled his eyes. "I'm a new man, Uesugi Fuutarou. I shan't get riled up by such simple taunts."

"I see the chuunibyou is back," I simply observed.

"I-- no, it ain't!"

"Too far the other way," I laughed. Then, I reached over and patted Second Place-san on the shoulder. "I have to be honest: well done. My expectations were exceeded."

The beam returned to Second Place-san's face. "Ha-ha! Indeed, I did do rather well, didn't I!"

I scowled. "Right, you've ruined it now. I'm leaving."

I turned on my heels, and began to walk away.

"Ah, wait!"

I glanced back at Second Place-san, and he seemed suddenly uncertain.

"Yes?"

"I... Thank you. For your help, I mean."

Well. Wonders will never cease.

"You're welcome," I nodded. "Bye."

Then, I pushed into the crowd, leaving the blond boy behind.

Navigating through the morass of bodies, I kept my eyes open for anyone I knew -- but in particular, I was looking for Yotsuba. I wasn't entirely sure why, but with the growing crowd, there was a part of me that desperately wanted to find her. Some unsettled, uncertain part of me.

"Alright, everyone," a voice boomed out over a megaphone -- I thought it was probably the gym teacher. "The boys of class 2-C are going to perform a dance for us -- everyone sit and watch!"

Around me, people began to slowly lower to the stone below us... and then, I found myself surrounded by sitting people, and I could finally see. However, my new-found range granted me no boon -- I couldn't see Yotsuba anywhere. Frustrated, I succumbed to peer pressure and lowered myself to the ground, surrounded on all sides by people I didn't know. In a small part of my chest, I could feel a twisting, turning sensation, something cloying and yet acidic.

I didn't like it.

A few of the teachers cleared a path through the students, and then suddenly the work lanterns that had been positioned throughout the plaza were extinguished, throwing the stone expanse into near-total darkness -- the only light cast was from the shining windows of the lodge. Then, from in front of the door, there was a flicker, and then a roar as what appeared to be a torch flared to life. Holding it aloft was a boy I thought I vaguely recognized as being from my room in the ryokan -- the one who'd clamoured for mixed baths, maybe.

What was his name again?

I didn't remember.

He was shirtless save for some furs draped over his body. As he approached through the line cleared for him, approaching the wooden logs we'd assembled the previous day, he started chanting -- but the chant was just caveman noises.

Ooga-Booga Ooga-Booga!

There were titters of laughter from amongst the crowd, and the boy grinned, pleased with himself. As he approached the wooden construction, he took the lit torch, and slid it between the logs, letting it touch tinder pouches that had been placed at various points along the pile. As he lit them one by one, he kept chanting his nonsense -- there were, by this point, a few people who were fully laughing aloud. Eventually, the bonfire flared to life, a small flame growing into a conflagration -- one small spark by an idiot raging entirely out of control.

Something about that idea deeply irritated me.

Cackling, the boy walked amongst the seated students until he reached the demarcated area I'd noted earlier. As he stepped over the boundary, lanterns positioned around the rectangle suddenly lit up, and I realized with a start that it was meant to be a stage. Five boys were standing there in various furs, a few holding spears. As the first boy rejoined them, I recognized two others from the ryokan as well.

"This is stupid," I muttered to myself.

Nevertheless, I found it a bit difficult to look away as the boys, hooting and hollering, began to dance, music swelling from an unseen source. It was clear they'd put some thought into it -- the whole thing, even if very silly, was extremely well choreographed. Despite myself, I couldn't help being drawn in by their dance. The interplay of fur and fire and spear... it was almost mesmerizing.

Before I knew it, the display had ended to uproarious applause.

The people around me began to rise, and I too scrambled to my feet-- and I was once again enveloped in the crowd. Only... only now, there was loud music beginning to play, bright light all around, and heat from the giant conflagration.

I was ensnared.

Heat. Sound. Light. Bodies.

So many people.

It was like a phase change, a sudden collapse of order as far-flung pieces danced in unison, flaring and exploding.

The performing boys were bowing and laughing amongst themselves; yet, there seemed to be almost a tension to the atmosphere of the party. The music rose, louder and louder, and I could feel a headache coming on.

The acidic feeling in my chest began to grow, swell.

Expand.

The crowd was surrounding me. Shoulders. Elbows. Knees.

They were too close.

Bodies, and sweat, and heat.

Everywhere I looked, there was no one I knew.

Bodies, and sweat, and heat, and smoke, and noise, and pressure.

Too close.

I was surrounded, compressed, and yet I was alone.

One boy slammed into me, nearly toppling me over. A hasty apology, and then he was gone, leaving me staggered. Looking around wildly as I regained my footing, I wasn't even sure of which way the lodge was anymore -- while I wasn't short, there were enough people taller than me that I couldn't see. I was feeling trapped. Trapped. Like an animal, trapped.

I was the one caged.

The acidic seed in my chest exploded into full-on panic, gripping my mind in its poisoned embrace.

This is no place for an introvert. This is no place for me .

Bile rising in my throat, I was buffeted again as two boys, laughing, pretended to wrestle one another, and a girl jumped out of their way with an annoyed shout.

I nearly fell to my knees, my breath coming in rapid, ragged intervals.

Maintaining my balance, my head swivelled back and forth as I once again desperately searched for someone, anyone that I knew. It felt like there was a single cord hanging down from heaven into hell, lowered to me from on high. My only hope, my only hope, was to find someone I knew -- or the cord would snap like the fragile piece of string that it was.

Perhaps it already had.

Yotsuba...

I couldn't find anyone, even as I shouldered my way through the crowd. The sensory overload was getting worse. My entire world was closing in.

It was too much.

Nausea gripped my stomach, vertigo its perennial partner.

I felt like I was on the verge of shutting down. Breath, rasping, scarce entered my lungs before being expelled.

Everything was heat and pressure. The music was like nails on a chalkboard. The light was cloying and blinding, puncturing my skull like an icepick to the brain.

Gasping, I shoved my way through the crowd, desperate for freedom -- no matter how I achieved it. I was just picking a direction at random, turning my back to the hellfire which raged so close, and yet so far. Anywhere was better than here. I didn't care.

I need to get out now .

I pressed. My skin was crawling.

I can't take this anymore.

I pressed. Sweat dripped down my face.

Please. I'm begging you.

Out. Let me out. LET ME OUT!

I pressed. I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. I was drowning. I was dying. I was enveloped in hellfire, fated to burn and burn and burn and burn and--

Out out out out OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT!

Freedom.

Freedom.

The cool night air flowed over my face as I finally broke out of the crowd, finding myself on the edge of the firelight, on the edge of the plaza... on the edge of the cool autumn darkness which could hide me from the nausea and panic. Which could hide the wretched sight of me. Looking back one more time into the crowd, the throng of bodies hid all things from my view.

Gratefully, I melted into the night.

It was a few minutes later that I found myself on the crest of the nearby hill. The edge of the plaza had log steps rising up the slope, and it was on the top step that I had settled, watching the flickering bonfire from above, and the crowds of people surrounding it; swaying, swirling, dancing.

My breathing was calmed, my nausea finally receded. Taking deep breaths, I let the cool night air do the work of decompression for me.

One. Two. One. Two.

A shiver passed through my body. Whether it was from the cold or the receding adrenaline, I couldn't tell.

Groaning, I lowered my head into my hands.

"Pathetic," I hissed to myself. "Absolutely pathetic."

I raised my head and gazed out over the party. The fire, the crowd, the music, it all seemed somehow... less from up here. As though there were a filter over it, casting everything into sepia.

"Worthless. You couldn't find any of your friends, and so you freaked out and ran? Pathetic, Uesugi Fuutarou," I mumbled. Then, I slowly leaned back, lying on the grass, letting the cool breeze run across my face.

Has anything even changed?

Staring up into the night sky, more full of stars than I'd ever seen in Nagoya, I swallowed.

Have I even changed?

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and then swallowed deeply. The adrenaline was withdrawing, leaving just a deep sense of emptiness in its wake. Once again, the hopelessness that had seized me months before reared its head, threatening to take hold of me in its vaporous jaws. The dark pit, the hole in my chest -- gaseous, it laughed at my futile attempts to contain it in some pedestrian cage.

After all, emptiness can never be contained by willpower alone.

My breaths quickening, I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, the inside of my eyelids replacing the star-struck night.

Pathetic. Useless. Even when you think you have friends... you're still going to be alone.

"Shut up," I whispered. "It's not true."

Forcing myself to sit up, I wrenched open my eyes again and stared out over the party.

It's not even that densely packed.

Watching the people down below throng, dance, sway... my perch atop the hill felt all the more lonely.

Five years of being alone threatened to wash over me. Five years of repression, and five years of single-minded devotion. Such things had hardly left me untouched. The gnawing, aching pain in my chest was a testament to that.

The cage in my chest was a testament to that.

"I... don't want to be here," I breathed.

It overtook me then, wrapping me in its silken embrace, and I could feel my heart catch in my throat. Deep breaths gave way to short breaths gave way to hyperventilation, and I bit my lip hard, trying to keep everything together in one piece. Trying to keep myself together in one piece.

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Path--

Something cold pressed against my neck, and I flinched.

Then, I realized it was plastic.

Hesitatingly, with starts and stops, unsure of myself, I looked up.

"Hey," Yotsuba said, smiling gently. "I finally found you."

In disbelief, I slowly reached up and took the bottle she was offering me. Looking down at it in the flickering firelight, I saw that it was a sports drink.

"Yotsuba," I said softly, not wanting to say much for fear that the hoarseness in my voice would betray me. "Where... did you get this?"

"Shi shi shi," she snickered, settling down on the step beside me. "It's a sworn secret!"

"Sworn...?"

"I'll tell you though, Uesugi-san," she said. "You'll be my partner in crime,"

"What else is new?" I said, surreptitiously wiping my eyes.

To my relief, there was nothing there to wipe -- unlike last time, I had managed to keep the powerful floodwaters contained, the wrought iron dam of my will creaking and bending, but holding strong.

"True, true!" Yotsuba laughed. "One of the teachers gave it to me, and said not to tell anyone. She said it was for all my hard work with the bonfire and the test of courage. I guess I told you, though, so... whoops!"

I frowned, looking at the bottle. "...Am I taking your drink?"

"Nope! There were two. Your efforts were appreciated too!"

Something about the way she said that made my heart catch in my throat again -- and I bit my lip once more to keep it contained.

I hoped that, in the dim light of the fire, Yotsuba would miss it.

"Are you alright, Uesugi-san?"

She did not.

I took a deep breath. Then let it out again slowly. I looked up at the night sky above, and then closed my eyes.

"I am now," I whispered.

"Sorry, what did you say? I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing," I said louder, shaking my head. "I'm totally fine."

"Hmm... if you say so," Yotsuba said doubtfully. "If you do need anything though, let me know. I've always got your back!"

A soft smile slipped across my face. "I know."

"I gotta say though," Yotsuba groaned, leaning back on the grass. "It's hard to believe that the school trip is already almost over. It went by so fast!"

"It wasn't that fast," I chuckled softly, opening my eyes and looking over at her. "A lot happened, after all."

"True, but that's why it went by so fast, Uesugi-san!" Yotsuba pouted. "We were having fun!"

"Yeah, that's true," I murmured. "I did have fun. More than I thought I would. A lot more."

I turned back to look out over the fire, the music rising from below providing an almost ethereal background soundtrack. The crowd didn't seem nearly as intense now, with couples breaking to dance and others moving to the periphery. Yet, here in the dimly illuminated edges, I suddenly no longer felt any desire to leave; neither to flee, nor to descend the hill.

"Right?" Yotsuba grinned. "Looks like my plan to have a great trip was a success!"

"Yeah, I guess so," I said, smiling despite myself. "Does that mean I get to be un-abducted now?"

"What?! Uesugi-san, I released you almost right awa--"

I couldn't help it. The raw indignation on her face, the way she scrunched up her nose as she pouted, the animated quivering of her ribbon over her head -- I couldn't contain it anymore. I burst out laughing, peals upon peals breaking forth from my body. It was uncontrollable; it was like I had been possessed by a poltergeist of mirth.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, what's so funny?!"

"S-Sorry," I wheezed, finally wiping a tear out of my eyes for a completely new reason. "I just... your reaction. It got me."

Yotsuba took a moment-- and then she started laughing too, though less uproariously than I had.

"Well," she chuckled, "I'm glad I can make you laugh. That makes me happy."

Then, she tilted her head. "I don't know if I've seen you laugh that hard before."

"I don't think I have laughed that hard before," I said, shaking my head, spasms of laughter occasionally still rushing through my body. "Not in a long time, anyways."

Yotsuba just smiled at that. We both turned to watch the flames, flickering and blazing above the people dancing around. It was beautiful, a beacon against the night. The flame was complex, different parts burning at different temperatures. Oranges, red, whites, they all joined in a symphony of fire and smoke and heat.

This sight... despite everything, it truly is beautiful.

With a start, I realized -- the only reason we had a view like this was because I'd retreated up the hill. It was only because I'd found a spot in the darkness that the light shone so beautifully.

A sudden weight fell on my left shoulder. Looking over, I saw, to my shock, Yotsuba resting her head on my shoulder, her eyes open this time, the dancing glow of the flame reflecting in her ocean-blue eyes. The pressure was a pleasant one.

"...Still tired from skiing?" I murmured.

"...Something like that," she whispered back. "Is it not ok?"

I took a slow breath.

"It's ok."

I couldn't quite make out her face from my angle, but I thought I saw her lips curl into a small smile.

Then, we sat.

I could feel her head on my shoulder, separated only by the thin fabric of my shirt. It was almost the same position we'd assumed when she'd napped on my arm on the bus -- yet this felt completely different.

She was awake.

It was on purpose.

Against my will, I could feel my heart rate increasing, blood pumping through my body as adrenaline was dumped back into my scarcely-recovered system.

Slowly, silently, I took a deep breath to try and calm down.

Deep in the caverns of my chest, the gaseous spectre of emptiness was finally fully driven back into the cage which had previously proven so fruitless in containing it, Yotsuba's warmth forcing its frigid grasp to release on my heart. Yet the bars, coated in hoarfrost and frozen to their core, were too subject to the sudden temperature spike.

Heat shock.

Within the abyssal darkness, the yellow eyes of a different beast gleaned. Waiting. Expecting.

I stared ahead, my eyes trained on the fire. I could feel Yotsuba's breathing, her steady draw of breath, the rising and falling of her chest -- it was being transmitted directly to me through our contact. My nerves were on fire. It was all I could do to keep my focus trained ahead -- I was worried if I turned to look at her, my iron will would fail.

The music slowed, and then came to a halt. Blinking, I stared down at the campfire. The crowd seemed to have further thinned, many moving to the periphery. Then, the music began again; a transition, from a fast song to a slower tempo, a melancholy song of love perhaps -- I couldn't make out the words from this far away.

Love... was it?

I glanced sideways, without moving my head. Yotsuba's head was barely visible in my peripheral vision -- the red strands waving slightly from the air currents caused by the bonfire down below.

Love...

I bit my lip again.

I don't have any need for love. I'm not the sort of idiot who falls in love. A student shouldn't focus on such things. It's only for imbeciles who peak in high school.

I turned my head slightly, almost against my will, to bring more of her head into view.

I don't have any need for it.

I found, to my surprise, that my breath was quickening of its own accord.

At least... that's what I've been telling myself. For five years , that's what I've been telling myself.

My grip on my lip tightened.

What if it were someone I cared about? If Yotsuba ever told me she was in love... could I really bring myself to dismiss her feelings like that? As being the ravings of an imbecile? She's an idiot... but not the sort of idiot I can just ignore.

A deep breath. Another.

I don't think I could.

A frown slipped across my face, an intruder in the night.

But... if I couldn't... then...

With a start, I realized that my head was fully turned, looking down at Yotsuba. My lips were a thumb's width from her head, nothing more. My eyes locked on her, it suddenly dawned on me that, despite all my internal deliberations and my attempts to calm myself... I was, ever so slightly, shaking.

Or... was Yotsuba the one shaking?

I couldn't tell.

If I couldn't dismiss her feelings, hypothetically... if I can't categorically dismiss love as being a distraction unworthy of consideration...

My heart caught in my throat. I wasn't sure if it was fear.

What... what does that imply?

I took a deep breath.

Yotsuba shifted, and then looked up at me, her head still on my shoulder. Our faces were suddenly centimetres apart, her eyes locked with mine, her cheek pressing against me. If I just leaned forward, I would be able to--

"Uesugi-san?" she asked softly. "Is everything ok?"

I was silent for a moment, unsure of what my answer was.

If I can't dismiss love out of hand, then that opens the door to a lot of other things I can't dismiss out of hand. That leaves... questions. A lot of questions.

Yotsuba's eyes searched mine. Then, she smiled gently.

"If there is something wrong," she whispered, "you can talk to me. I'm here for you."

Her eyes glittered in the firelight. Beautiful. My heart caught in my throat again.

Deep in the cage, the shadows purred -- and with the bat of a huge paw, the iron bars, weakened by all the torment to which they'd been subjected, buckled and split.

And, for just a moment, the beast was free. My will, normally as strong as an iron vice-grip, slipped.

"Yotsuba," I breathed. Her eyes sparkled before me, enrapturing. For a moment, once again, I felt as though I couldn't breathe.

"Yes?" she whispered back.

"...Will you dance with me?"

Her eyes widened.

"Uh-- um... huh? I... huh?!"

I turned to look back over the fire. With a clang, the vice-grip returned -- the solitary moment of freedom the beast had waited for, plotted for, was over. I could already feel embarrassment beginning to flow through my veins.

"It's ok if you don't want to. Sorry, I... don't know what I was thinking. That was... that was stupid of me."

There was a moment of silence. Then, Yotsuba lifted her head off my shoulder, and stood up. I looked up at her, a sudden feeling of dread condensing in the pit of my stomach.

"Yotsuba?"

In the flickering firelight, I could see her face, as red as her hair, crimson as the setting sun over the sea.

"...Yes," she whispered.

I blinked.

"...Sorry?"

"Yes," she repeated, glancing away from me. "I... I do want to dance."

They were just words... just compression of the air between us. Just air, carried on the gentle eddies generated by the flames.

Yet, it felt like I'd been struck by lightning.

After a stunned moment, I scrambled to my feet. Yotsuba was looking away from me, her face beet-red.

I paused, a moment's hesitation.

Then, slowly, in starts and steps, we came closer together, illuminated in the flickering glow of the firelight. My hands, awkward, unsure, came to rest on her hips; my touch light, as though fearful that with the smallest amount of pressure, of force, whatever this was... would shatter. Yotsuba's arms rose, haltingly, and eventually came to rest on my shoulders, her grip almost as light as mine.

"Um," I said, shifting my weight anxiously from one foot to another, "I... don't really know what I'm doing."

She chuckled awkwardly. "Ah... yeah. Me too."

"Let's... just do our best, then."

"Sure..."

There was a moment of silence-- and then Yotsuba laughed again, softly. This time, there was mirth in it.

"I'll be in your care."

Somehow, her laughter, short-lived as it was, gave root to my footing. Where before it had felt like quicksand, shifting and uncertain, now I was on solid ground. Her arms on my shoulder pressed down slightly more heavily, and I took a half-step closer -- while we weren't touching anywhere save our arms, there were mere centimetres separating us. My hands on her hips tightened, a sliver of confidence brought forth by her unconscious reassurance.

The music swelled, and we began to sway in time with the rhythm, our own tempos synchronizing as one. Yotsuba finally turned to face me, her head tilted slightly upwards as our eyes met. Gazes locked, I stared into her eyes as we moved back and forth, her face an intricate canvas of shadow and flickering light.

They were like the sea -- a stormy blue, flashes of light crossing their surface from the far-away flames, like lightning striking the open ocean. Yet, her eyes were also a port -- safe harbour from the dangers lying beneath the surface, and above. My heart, trying to beat its way out of my chest, began to slowly, achingly, relax.

"Uesugi-san," she murmured, scarce heard amidst the sounds from below.

"...Yeah?"

"Did you know," she whispered softly, "that you have flecks of gold in your eyes?"

"I didn't," I whispered back. "I've never looked closely enough to notice."

Her cheeks were a deep red, but even in the midst of it all, she gave me a momentary cheeky grin.

"Well then," she laughed quietly, "I guess I learned something new about you. Something which even you didn't know."

"I guess so," I laughed as well. As we continued swaying, despite the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I could feel a smile hijacking my lips, taking over.

Deep in my chest, the beast roared for freedom -- to partake in what it had fought to earn. But it was held back by hastily-repaired bars, fraught and torn; but holding.

For now.

For now.

I looked down at Yotsuba's face -- her lips, her nose, her eyes, her cheeks. The contours of her jaw, the blush on her face, the way it spread to her ears, partially visible amidst the waving cascade of her hair. It was all captivating me. It was all...

Did you know? Your eyes are beautiful.

The thought caught me by surprise -- and was held within my lips only by the dying gasps of my will.

I suddenly realized that the gap between us had shrunk even further; scarcely a centimetre separated us. Yotsuba's arms were practically hooked around my neck, her bare arms against the jut of my collarbone on either side. My hands were still on her waist -- but with how close she'd gotten, my hands were tending closer to the small of her back as a matter of physics.

Or perhaps it was how close I'd gotten.

I wasn't sure anymore.

"Uesugi-san..."

I gulped. My heart, which had temporarily slowed, had long since resumed its frantic pace. There was a tension in the air, one which I'd scarcely noticed at first -- but it was palpable, coming from deep within me. Once again, a roar for freedom.

"Yes?"

Yotsuba leaned forward, and pressed her forehead into my shoulder, our height difference lending her the perfect resting spot. The sudden contact was sending shocks through my whole body -- my nerves were, once again, aflame.

I wondered if she knew the effect she was having on me. If she knew that my heart was pounding. Surely, with her head on my chest, it must have been echoing through her skull, drowning out the music.

Why?

Yotsuba was still for a moment. Then, she drew a deep breath. Silence dragged out again. Then...

"This... has been a fun trip, hasn't it?"

I kept swaying with the music... but I frowned.

It has, but... why do I have this feeling? Like... that isn't what she wanted to say?

"It has," I said softly. "I'm really happy I came."

"I'm really glad," Yotsuba whispered. "I'm so glad."

Something about the way she was saying it unsettled me -- but I couldn't see her face. It was like she was hiding it from me.

The song slowly came to an end, but we stayed in that position for a moment longer. Yotsuba's face was buried in my chest, her head moving with the slow expansion and contraction wrought by my breathing. She took a deep breath, and then slowly, achingly, pulled back -- almost like she didn't want to move, like she didn't want it to end.

She looked up at me, and there was a look in her eyes that I didn't understand.

"Thanks for the dance, Uesugi-san," she murmured.

"Thank you," I said, awkwardly -- now that the music had ended and we had pulled apart, I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.

We both awkwardly stood there for a moment, enshrouded in the admixture of darkness and flickering light, the orange glow of the flames lighting up the side of her face. Her expression... it was complicated. Deep. Like there were a dozen emotions mixing in her chest like oil, iridescent yet viscid, leaving a murky, unreadable morass to hide the truth.

The truth... is what?

I didn't know what she was thinking.

What she was feeling.

From down below, there was suddenly a sizzling sound -- and then the voices of our classmates calling out, suddenly reminding me of their pernicious existence.

"TEN."

I looked over at Yotsuba in confusion. She glanced away.

"NINE."

My eyes widened. Oh, right. The fireworks.

"EIGHT."

"Do... you want to watch the fireworks?" I asked Yotsuba softly. Silently, she nodded.

"SEVEN."

She shifted, her eyes turning to the descent below us, her shoulder centimetres from mine.

"SIX."

She leaned over, her shoulder pressing against mine. It almost felt like the irrepressible energy, which normally was exuded from her body like an unstoppable wave, had finally come up dry -- as though she were tired on a deeper level than a mere physical one.

Or she just... wanted to lean.

"FIVE."

I had no idea any more.

"FOUR."

A deep breath from Yotsuba, a quick intake -- something was going on with her, but I didn't know what. Like there was some internal conflict raging, one to which I could only gather the barest of superficial hints.

"THREE."

I didn't understand.

"TWO."

I couldn't understand. Not unless she decided to tell me.

"ONE."

Deep in my chest... I could feel it. A burning sensation.

I wanted her to tell me. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

I wanted to know what she was thinking about me.

Or if she was even thinking about me.

But what does that desire say about me? What does it say about my own desi--

"ZERO!"

I felt sudden movement, and contact. Yotsuba's fingers, thin and long and elegant, slipped along my palm, her fingernails gently scratching along the skin. They found the gap between my own, and they slid in, interlocking, unified. They curled, and closed shut.

Her hand intertwined with mine.

The sky exploded with light and colour as the fireworks shot from their cannons we had prepared, rockets aimed at the sky in regal grandeur. Reds, blues, greens, yellows... the sky was awash with the colours of celebration, a bittersweet reminder that in the morning, we would go home.

I saw it all only out of the corner of my eye.

My vision was entirely trained, shocked, on Yotsuba.

Her face was lit up with each blast, colour by colour, her eyes glistening -- distinctly not looking at me.

What... What...

It was like my brain was stalled, an infinite loop trying to process the same information over and over again. Trying to take it apart, put it back together again, and determine how it worked. Education by deconstruction. Yet, as often as I turned the puzzle over in my mind, I couldn't seem to reach a satisfying conclusion.

Or rather, any conclusion at all.

There was barely even any cogent thought, every resource taken up with simply trying to process what was happening.

What...

As the fireworks died down and the thronging masses below cheered, my eyes were simply locked onto Yotsuba. After a moment passed, she slowly released my hand, and I realized that my face was on fire. My eyes widened as my brain finally finished processing-- and came up blank. Error.

"I... wha..."

Yotsuba smiled at me; but it wasn't the same smile as before. There was something behind it -- like the smile wasn't the whole truth. Like there was sadness hidden under its surface, among a myriad of other emotions.

"We should probably go back down, Uesugi-san. It looks like the bonfire is over."

"I... wait, I--"

Yotsuba tilted her head at me.

"...Nevermind," I said, accepting defeat. "Sure, let's go down."

She smiled that same smile again and turned away, and with a pang I realized what it was. It wasn't sadness -- it was guilt.

But why?

As she began to walk down the log stairs, I watched the back of her head -- and felt my own head, in turn, spin.

For the sake of self-preservation, I decided that thinking would come later. It was all I could do to pretend to be functional.

Following her down the steps and quickly catching up, I stepped out onto the stone plaza right behind Yotsuba, whose ears were still a distinct pink colour. I was certain that, despite the sudden emotional turmoil I'd been thrown into, my face was the same.

Students were already filtering back into the lodge -- and so the crowd was diffuse enough that I immediately spotted Itsuki across the way, sitting with Ichika, Miku, and (to my surprise) Nino. The other three were talking amongst themselves, but Itsuki happened to glance over. She did a double-take, and her eyes narrowed.

Then a massive smirk crossed her face, and she raised her eyebrows at me.

I scowled in return.

Itsuki laughed, and then put a single finger to her lips. Then, she turned back to the others.

What the hell does that mean?

I was at my limit.

"Sorry, Yotsuba," I said suddenly. "I'm suddenly feeling pretty tired. I'm going to go rest for a bit -- if I'm feeling up for it and you're still up later, I might rejoin you all."

Yotsuba turned to look at me, a sudden look of worry in her eyes -- or was it fear? I wasn't sure. I wasn't even sure if I was reading her correctly at all. Maybe I was imagining everything.

"Oh... sure," she said, in what was obviously an effort to be nonchalant. "I hope you feel better."

"It's all good," I said, waving my hand as though batting away her worries. "I'm just... exhausted. I'll see you later."

"...Ok."

I, with an assumed air of calm, walked away from her and into the lodge.

The main hall was partially filled with students, and I quickly strode past them, none of their inane chatter registering in my mind. It was all meaningless. All of it.

As soon as I was out of sight in the solitude of the hallways, I found myself unconsciously breaking into a run.

Navigating to my room at breakneck speed, I scrambled with the doorknob, opened the door and, to my vast relief, found it to be empty. Swinging it shut behind me, I pressed my back against its wooden bulk, staring out into the darkness of the unlit room, drawing heavy, deep breaths.

Then, slowly, I slid down the door to the floor.

My face flushed with heat, I dropped it into my hands. My cheeks, my ears -- they burned as images of the hilltop flooded into my mind. My brain was in overdrive, trying to piece together all the small fractured pieces and form a coherent whole.

It was a doomed endeavour. I had been doomed from the start.

"What the hell was that?"

Notes:

Happy Halloween! I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for a long time, and now it's finally here! I hope you enjoyed.

The next chapter is the final chapter of the Camping Trip arc, and also of the entire first half of "How We Met Again". After that, we're on to the second half. There's still a lot yet to come!

Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed this story to date, whether it be on FF.N, AO3, Reddit, or privately on Discord. It means a lot to me to know that there are people who are interested in my fanfiction, and every review I get makes me really happy. Thank you so much!

Chapter 29: Return

Chapter 29
Return

My thoughts were a jumbled mess, a Gordian knot of anxieties and insecurities and questions.

I hadn't ended up rejoining the group -- as recurring images of the night's developments had swarmed through my brain, running roughshod over my rational mind, I'd genuinely been given over to exhaustion, and the lure of my bed had proven too great. I was unconscious long before any of the others had returned to the room; thankfully, they'd had the good sense to leave me be.

Even Second Place-san.

Driven to sleep abnormally early, I found myself waking up alongside the sun -- the dull bluish-grey of dawn filtering in via the window opposite the door, diffusing through the thin fabric that covered its surface. Rising, I quietly moved over to the light source, slipping the curtain gently aside to gaze up at the peaks far above.

In the early morning serenity, something inside me longed for the outdoors. Maybe clarity would come if I escaped the wooden walls that surrounded me.

Quietly getting dressed, I exited the bedroom, and within minutes was breathing in the cool mountain air outside the lodge. The sun wasn't yet visible over the rising spires of stone, but its hidden presence was evident, light reflecting around the rocky summits and flowing down into the still-shaded valley below. Within minutes, it would surely show its face. Birds were chirping in the distant treeline, and I thought I could see a few flitting from branch to branch, scarce visible in the dull glow of early dawn.

There was a chill in the air.

Shivering, I pulled my coat tighter and began to walk. I didn't quite have a destination in mind; I just wanted my feet to take me somewhere. Anywhere I could think was fine.

Evidently, my feet were craving nature, and I was soon in the woods, following a very particular trail which was at this point almost well-worn. Stepping over roots, leaves crunching underfoot, traversing the small wooden bridge over the creek -- these were things to which I'd very quickly adjusted, things which I'd catalogued and filed away as being quintessential parts of the mountain experience.

To my mild surprise, I realized that I would miss them once I returned to the city.

Following the trail, I eventually emerged at the playground which Yotsuba, Itsuki and I had located on the very first day -- our orienteering goal. With the sun having now fully risen, the sandbox and see-saw and all the other structures present therein felt... hollow. Empty. In the stark light of the barely-birthed dawn, there was something forlorn about them, absent any people or noise.

I wondered if the answers I was seeking could possibly be found in a place such as this.

Unconsciously, I was drawn to the swings.

Settling on the cool plastic, I gripped the chains with each hand, and stepped backwards. I rose, and rose, until I was standing on the tips of my toes. Taking a moment to pause, I took a breath, dropped my body weight onto the seat-- and swung, just as I had the morning of our departure days before.

Pumping my legs forward and back to build momentum, the landscape ahead of me was unchanging -- forest and greenery obstructed my sight of the wider view, and the mountains beyond. Even at the peak of my swing, the world did not open up. There were no lights, and there were no people moving in houses far below. There were no infrequent cars, and there were no sounds of a city just beginning to awaken. There was silence -- but the loneliness here wasn't the right loneliness.

It wasn't my loneliness.

The comfort I'd found in the ephemeral stillness of that park on the hill wasn't here.

My swinging progressively slowed, round by round by round by round, until eventually I was barely moving.

Friction killed the last fleeting scraps of momentum, and I sat still, staring up at the dull blue November sky.

The sparsely scattered clouds were unmoving.

I breathed in, the cool autumn air seeping into my lungs. My grip on the chains tightened, ever so slightly. Cold metal on warm flesh. It was reassuring, somehow -- but only that. There were no answers in the steel, just as there were no answers in the small eddies and flows of the water vapour far above; my eyes, searching, tracing the edges and boundaries of their immobile forms, gained no knowledge from their stillness.

There was nothing here for me. My answers couldn't come from without.

Sighing, I stood.

This didn't help.

Shoving my hands in my coat pockets, I gave the playground one more forlorn look, and then left it behind. The return trek was as much a blur as the way out had been, my mind discarding the irrelevant trivialities of navigation and the passing of time . Emerging from the trail head , I trudged towards the front door of the lodge -- but then noticed a lone figure at the picnic tables off to the side, her red hair waving gently in a light breeze as she read a book.

As I approached, Itsuki glanced up at me.

"Oh, Uesugi-kun," she smiled warmly, closing the book about her finger. "Good morning."

"G'morning," I said, slipping onto the bench across the table from her.

"We missed you last night," she said, unconsciously glancing back at the paperback in her hands. "It's too bad -- Yotsuba seemed pretty down about it."

"I... see," I said carefully.

"To be honest, it didn't seem like it was just about you missing the last evening of the trip," she said, tapping the book gently against the picnic table in thought. "I saw you two coming down the hill together -- tell me, did something happen?"

I sighed, and lowered my chin into my arms on the table.

"...I can definitely say that something happened," I shrugged, looking up at her. "The problem is, I'm not entirely sure what it was either."

As she raised an eyebrow inquiringly, I sank my chin even deeper into my arms. Somehow, talking about the situation aloud with someone else made it feel more real; more overwhelming. "I asked her to dance last night, during the bonfire. She... she said yes, and so... we danced. It was nice."

I bit my lip. This was proving surprisingly difficult to talk about, a swirling acidic feeling in my stomach reaching up, trying to still my moving mouth. "I... think she was happy? She was joking... but then, something changed -- it's hard to articulate exactly what. She seemed... upset. Or... no, maybe that's not the right word? I don't know."

Itsuki nodded slowly, though I noticed a slight pink tinge come across her cheeks at the mention of the dance. Then, she pursed her lips.

"That's tricky. Maybe you could just ask her? Yotsuba is direct like that, after all."

I furrowed my brow, taking her words into consideration. Then, slowly, I shook my head.

"I could try that... but I can't shake this feeling that she wouldn't want to talk about it. The last time something seemed to bother her, she didn't want to answer my questions at all."

Itsuki frowned... and then shrugged. "I guess so. Yotsuba has her secrets, just like everyone else in the world. I'm pretty surprised that she would be upset after a dance with you, though."

I frowned. "Why's that?"

Itsuki just stared at me for a moment incredulously -- and then she sighed, and shook her head, a gesture which I had a vague feeling was derogatory. "You know what? Nevermind. Maybe you're just a really bad dancer."

"Probably," I muttered. "It's not like I had any idea what I was doing."

"Regardless," she said, emphasizing the word. "The only thing you can do to figure this out is talk to her. You're never going to make any progress by sitting by yourself and thinking about it. If she doesn't want to answer your questions, then that's that."

I paused to consider her words, my thoughts cast back to the swings in the woods -- and the answers they had lacked.

"You're right," I murmured, sitting up and stretching my shoulders. "You're definitely right -- I've just never been in a situation like this before, with the dance and everything. It's not obvious what I should do..."

"Just act how you always act," Itsuki shrugged. "If she wants to tell you when you ask, she will. If she doesn't, she won't."

I nodded. "That's... quite good advice, actually. Thanks, Itsuki."

"I try," she said, a half-smile coming onto her face. "I am a good friend sometimes, you know."

"More than sometimes," I said quietly, a feeling of fondness for the redhead across the table welling up inside my chest. An odd look crossed her face, but she shrugged, smiled, and went back to reading.

We sat there in silence for a while, she with her book, and I staring up at the mountains far above, pondering my best course of action. Memories of the previous night were bubbling unbidden into the forefront of my mind-- memories of Yotsuba, and her eyes, and her lips. My hands on her waist, the small of her back. The soft feeling of her hand in mine. The pressure of her head against my chest, her resting on my shoulder.

The look of guilt on her face.

I realized with a start that Itsuki was looking at me from over-top her book.

"Yes...?" I asked.

"I have to say," she said, a smirk growing on her face. "I'm shocked that you were the one to ask her to dance. How scandalous, Uesugi-kun."

I scowled. "You sound like Ichika."

"Well, that makes sense-- we are sisters, after all."

I chuckled, then stretched my arms. "I guess. I honestly surprised myself-- I have no idea what came over me."

Deep in my chest, there was a resentful growl.

I couldn't have imagined, at this time last year, that I would have asked a girl to dance. It would have been completely outside the realm of possibility. An absurdity.

At least these days, it would be...

On the other hand, five years ago... before I met her --

The quickly aborted thought left me unsettled, and I shook my head.

"Ah, well, it is what it is."

"Wow-- truly profound, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki snorted. "Anyways, in the end, all of this boils down to the fact that something happened when you danced last night. You need to either just ask her about it, or let it go. Those are the only real options, right? Dwelling on it without doing anything will get you nowhere."

"Right," I nodded amicably.

Itsuki looked me up and down, a slightly pensive look on her face. "That said... you've talked a lot about Yotsuba's feelings. Are you sure that you're completely confident in your own end of things?"

I shifted on the bench, glancing away from her. "That's... an uncomfortable question."

She blinked. "Why?"

"Because the answer is no, and that makes me uncomfortable."

Itsuki snorted, and shook her head. "That's such a you answer."

"I... don't know how to take that," I said, scratching my cheek.

"I don't know either," Itsuki said, laughing. "Anyways, it seems like you're having quite a bit of trouble -- both with your feelings, and hers. I'll try my best to help you figure it out."

"I don't remember asking--"

I paused, and quickly weighed my options. Then, I sighed.

"No, sorry, you're right. I'll gratefully accept. I need the help."

I have no idea what the hell is going on with Yotsuba... or with me. Maybe two heads will be better than one.

"Of course you will," Itsuki said smugly, closing her book again entirely. "I'm amazing at this sort of thing!"

"Uh... right," I said doubtfully.

"Hey! I am!"

"I believe you," I lied smoothly.

"You're lying! I can tell you're lying, Uesugi-kun!"

"...No, I'm not," I lied again, glancing away.

"Ugh, fine!" Itsuki growled. "I'll prove it to you by helping you sort this whole thing out!"

I bowed my head. "I'm truly grateful, Itsuki-sensei."

She rolled her eyes, and then rose from the table. "Whatever. You're lucky to have me, and you know it. I'm heading in now -- I think they need me to help set up breakfast."

I nodded, and rose to my feet along with her. As we approached the front door of the lodge, however, she turned back to look at me.

"I'm serious though, Uesugi-kun," she murmured. "I want to try and help you, at least as best I can. You're one of my closest friends, after all. I... really realized that after the fight we had on the slopes."

Caught off guard by the sudden sincerity, my eyes widened. Then, almost against my will, a grin crossed my face.

"Despite the fact that you endlessly torment me, you're one of my closest friends too," I laughed.

" Hey! I-- I-- " Itsuki spluttered , outraged . " I don't-- No! That's you ! You're the one who's always making fun o f -- geez! A ctually, you know what? Nevermind, I'm leaving ."

Huffing, she walked away -- but as she entered the lodge, she cracked, and started laughing; and a moment later, I joined her. After that brief moment of camaraderie, we parted ways, and I settled into an armchair by the fire blazing in the hearth. Leaning back into the comfortable depths, I turned Itsuki's words over in my head.

I need to just ask her. It's simple, right?

The acidic feeling in my gut had returned, demanding my silence, demanding that I keep it all in -- to turn it over and over and over in my mind until the pieces fell together. To not ask, to not receive outside help.

To not open myself up to the possibility of being rebuffed. Rejected.

You're many things, Uesugi Fuutarou -- but not a coward. Get it together, and do what you need to do.

I smacked my cheeks, as I'd seen Yotsuba do. It didn't do much to clear my head -- but it was a distraction, and that was enough.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement.

A flash of red. A spark of green, wavering barely in view.

Yotsuba was up on the balcony, far above; from what I could make out, she was crouched behind the railing, rendering her mostly invisible. As her ribbon waved gently above her supposed hiding spot spot, I glanced at it indirectly -- I couldn't tell if she was just busy doing something up there which required her to crouch, or if she was peeking down on me from up above, delusionally thinking that she was being sneaky.

The thought of it being the latter amused me.

That's deeply weird... but also adorable.

Eventually, I got bored of waiting, and looked directly up at where the bow was wavering. Unmoving, I raised a single eyebrow.

Caught you.

The ribbon gave a start of surprise, and then began to scurry to the left, towards the stairs.

Ha. She was definitely peeking.

Sheepishly, Yotsuba emerged from the stairs and walked over to me.

"G-Good morning, Uesugi-san," she said, laughing awkwardly, her voice nearly imperceptibly shaking.

At the sight of her face, flushed and laughing, I could already feel my heart picking up -- memories of the previous night flooding back in. I could feel my face heating up; yet, as those thoughts swirled, Itsuki's advice reverberated in my head.

Just act normally. If she wants to talk about it... she will.

"Morning," I said, leaning back in my chair , hoping desperately that my voice contained some approximation of normalcy -- whatever the hell that meant . "How'd you sleep?"

It must have worked, because Yotsuba visibly relaxed.

"Pretty well -- though we stayed up late! It's too bad you couldn't join us. Are you... are you feeling any better?"

The quivering tone was still there.

My own stomach was doing flips -- but I didn't want her to realize how nervous I was. How much I was desperate to just... ask. To know.

"I fell asleep pretty quickly after I got back to the room. I'm glad you guys had fun, though."

It wasn't the entire truth -- but it was enough of the truth to be plausible. To not feel like I'd lied to her. I could only hope she wouldn't notice that I hadn't actually answered her question; I didn't want to discuss my own feelings... at least, not until I'd figured out what the hell they were.

Yotsuba' shoulders seemed to relax further.

"Oh. G-Good! I'm glad!"

"Yeah," I said, stifling a yawn with my arm. "I think breakfast is soon. Food?"

Yotsuba brightened at that. "Oh-- um, sure! Food sounds great!"

Getting up, I followed her out of the lodge. As she marched ahead, however, my eyes were firmly trained on the back of her head.

I need to know what she thinks. About last night. About me. About... everything. I need to find a chance to ask her directly, to get answers.

Glancing around at the crowd of students slowly growing in the lobby by the minute, I sighed.

But... not now. When we're alone.

Quickening my pace, I caught up to her, walking at her side out the front door of the lodge, and around towards the picnic tables. The food team had almost finished setting up, and we milled about as we waited for the breakfast bar to open -- but we were far from alone. Even here, other students lingered, making open discussion of such a sensitive subject unthinkable.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Yotsuba idly shifting her weight from one foot to the other; she was furtively stealing glances at me, thinking I hadn't noticed.

I pretended I hadn't.

Eventually, breakfast was ready, and we formed a line; bowls of cereal, plates of toast, and other classic morning foods. After loading up, I was seated with Yotsuba, the others not yet having arrived. Even as we ate, she was still acting awkwardly, fidgeting and glancing at me when she thought I wasn't looking. After a while, I got tired of pretending I couldn't tell what she was doing, and so I decided to employ my most effective Yotsu-strategy -- distraction.

"So," I said, spreading butter on my toast. "What did you guys do after I went to bed?"

"Oh!" she said, caught off-guard by my question. "Um... mostly a lot of ping-pong. I forced-- um, I mean, I convinced Nino to play with me for a bit."

I frowned. I can't visualize that at all.

"She was actually pretty good," Yotsuba said, munching on her own piece of toast. "We had a lot of good rallies."

"Did you win?"

A smug look crossed her face. "Sure did!"

I flashed a grin at her. "Good. I'm proud of you."

A smattering of pink began to cross her face, but we were interrupted by the arrival of Itsuki, who flopped down onto the bench next to her sister.

"Ugh, that took forever," she complained. "Who knew there were that many kinds of cereal?!"

"Probably you," I nodded to myself, filing Yotsuba's reaction away for later. "Somehow, in my head, you have a catalogue of all the different types of cereal, and which ones taste the best."

"...Rude," Itsuki pouted."Partially true, but rude."

Snorting, I returned to my food. Yotsuba looked back and forth between us, and for a brief moment, there was a look that I didn't understand on her face; a tightening of her lips, a narrowing of the eyes. Then, it was gone, and she grinned, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined it, projecting it onto her because of my own inner turmoil.

"Itsuki, what do you think of my cereal? Did I get a good one?" she asked innocently. Itsuki looked over at her bowl, and then sighed.

"Meh."

"Wait, what?! Noooo!" Yotsuba cried, a look of distress crossing her face. "That's-- That's-- I was sure this was the best option!"

"You can do better; that one's really sweet," Itsuki shrugged dismissively. "Mind you, maybe something that sweet is the best option for you."

Yotsuba pouted, but dug into her cereal without a riposte.

Eventually, the other sisters (apart from Nino) joined us at the table, and the conversation grew more fragmented as it split between five people. Once we'd all finished eating, and breakfast drew to a close, the gym teacher called all of the students together, and roared that there would be thirty minutes provided for packing bags; once we'd finished, we were to meet with our suitcases at the front of the lodge.

Temporarily separating from Yotsuba and returning to my quarters, the six of us who shared a room began to pack. The three boys who had participated in the previous night's dance were laughing and joking amongst themselves; Second Place-san and Maeda, on the other hand, seemed to be having a very animated conversation.

"Indeed, my man! You must tell me more of this exciting development!"

"Well," Maeda said, scratching his cheek, "I dunno. I took her through the forest for the test of courage, and-- Oi! Uesugi!"

I glanced over as I zipped my suitcase shut, not particularly wanting to get dragged into the conversation. "Yeah?"

"...Thanks."

I raised an eyebrow, confused. "Why?"

"You and that Nakano girl... uh, I don't remember her name..."

"Yotsuba ? "

"Yeah, her," Maeda said. "You two scared the shit out of Matsui during the test of courage. So... thanks."

I blinked. "Um... you're welcome?"

"Yeah, I took advantage of that... what was it you called it? The 'suspension bridge' effect? I don't remember. Anyways, I asked her to the party after that, and she said yes -- and so, we danced at the bonfire. It was awesome."

I frowned. Did I say something like that?

After a moment's thought, I finally vaguely remembered discussing something along those lines with Maeda while making the curry. So much had happened since then -- the test of courage, Yotsuba's secret discussion with Ichika, skiing, the bonfire itself and the dance that had come with it, my morning consultation with Itsuki -- that it had completely slipped my mind.

"You're welcome," I shrugged. "Glad it worked out for you."

Maeda simply grinned at me, and went back to his conversation with Second Place-san; the blond boy, however, gave me an unreadable look before turning back around.

I thought it might have been a look of respect, but I was certain I was imagining it.

With my bag fully packed, I wheeled the small suitcase out of the room alone, and to the front of the lodge. Stepping out into the cool breeze that had picked up, I noted that I was among the first to arrive: and so, alone, I contented myself with sitting on top of my suitcase and simply gazing at the mountains surrounding the campgrounds. It was the last time I would be able to see sights such as these for a while... so I attempted to soak in as much of the view as I could.

Though it had only been a few days, I was already feeling nostalgic.

Eventually, there was a rumbling sound, and a small platoon of buses rounded the bend and approached the large central building. Rising off my suitcase, I glanced behind me to see that more students had begun to filter out the front doors. As the vehicles came to a stop in front of me, Yotsuba bounded up, suitcase in hand.

"Uesugi-saaaaaaaan!"

She seems more energetic now, somehow...

"Hey," I smiled, raising a hand in greeting. "Long time, no see."

Yotsuba laughed, but then looked up at the huge bus -- and her face dropped.

"I'm sad we have to go... I had a lot of fun on this trip," she said, her ribbon drooping dramatically. "I wish it would last forever."

"I had fun too-- but if it lasted forever, you'd fail your exams," I said drily.

"On the contrary, Uesugi-san!" she said, puffing up her chest and putting her hands on her hips. "If the camping trip lasted forever, there would be no more exams!"

"That sounds like a nightmare," I said, shaking my head. "Let's head back right now."

"Eh? EH?! What-- no! I want all exams to be cancelled! Forever!"

I raised an eyebrow. "How are you going to manage to pass all five subjects if there's never another exam? You'd be stuck at four out of five forever."

Yotsuba pouted at me, her cheeks big and puffy. "U-Unfair! You're right, I guess, but... unfair! Ugh... I'm definitely going to pass all five this time!"

She looked adorable-- and I couldn't help but laugh. Her pout only deepened as her sisters approached from behind, suitcases in tow. Nino was trailed by her two friends, and seemed distinctly disinterested in being anywhere near me.

What else is new?

"Well then -- when we get back, I guess it's back to studying. Let's do our best," I said, a hint of eagerness entering my voice.

After a weekend of doing without, I was excited to get back to my favourite pastime.

Eventually, the buses opened their guts, and our suitcases were loaded on-board. Climbing the stairs at the front, I was relieved to see that we were once-again on the type of bus with tables -- the cards could be pulled out, and I could enforce my supremacy on any foolish prey who dared challenge me.

Settling at a table at the back, I'd expected Yotsuba to plop into the spot next to me, as she had on every other ride. She wasn't given the opportunity, though: Miku had gotten on the bus before her -- and to my surprise, she sank into the empty seat next to me, instead of the set across the way.

Yotsuba paused at the edge of the table, an unreadable look crossing her face for a moment once again, that same tightening of the lips, that drawing of the eyes... before she gently shrugged her shoulders and slid into the seat across from me. Ichika sat down next to her, while Itsuki took one of the seats across the aisle, her book already in hand.

I glanced at the headphone-clad girl next to me, before looking across at Yotsuba.

...Hmm.

A few minutes after we'd settled into place, the bus engine roared to life... and we began to slowly ascend out of the valley.

"So," I ventured, pulling out a pack from my coat pocket. "...Cards?"

The game was swift -- and as per usual, Miku and Yotsuba were swiftly dispatched, leaving just Ichika and I to duke it out. As the mountains soared by, with their craggy peaks and snowy caps bidding us adieu, I felt my phone rumble in my pocket as soon as we re-entered cell signal range. After finally dispatching Ichika, I checked it and saw that I'd received a text from Raiha:

<I hope you had a great trip, Onii-chan! I wanna hear all about it when you get back!>

I smiled down at my phone... and then felt my face heat up as memories of the previous night once again flooded my mind. I shot her a quick response, and then put my phone away.

"Uesugi-san?"

I looked up to see Yotsuba looking at me, her eyes searching. My face was still burning -- I hoped she hadn't noticed.

"Yes?"

She paused... and then shook her head. "It's nothing. Nevermind."

Then, her own phone buzzed, and she pulled it out. As she read the contents of whatever message she'd received, her eyes narrowed, and a puzzled look crossed her face. Biting the inside of her cheek, I could see her turning something over in her mind. Eventually, she looked up at me.

"Uesugi-san?"

"Yes?" I repeated, a note of amusement entering my voice.

"Can I get your advice on something?"

The question surprised me, but I nodded. "If I can help, sure."

Yotsuba set the phone face-up on the table, and rested her elbow next to it, supporting her head as she gazed down at the screen. Her face was a picture in conflict, indecision reigning supreme across her eyes, her cheeks, and her lips.

"I just got a text from the captain of the school's running club; apparently, one of the teachers recommended that they try and recruit me."

I blinked. I hadn't expected that, though in retrospect it made perfect sense.

"Do you think I should do it?" Yotsuba asked.

I leaned back in my chair to give it some thought. A month ago, I would have categorically said that it was a terrible idea -- back when we'd first started studying for the midterms. Back when I'd been doubtful she stood a chance of passing a single test, let alone five.

That had been then. Now, though...

"Is this something you want to do?" I asked pointedly.

She paused, turning it over and over... and then she nodded.

"I used to do track in middle school... so I would love to get back into it."

I frowned; there was a feeling in my chest telling me there was something off -- that her words weren't the entire story, and that there was another motivator.

"Plus... it sounds like they really need me."

There it is.

I sighed. "Look, if it's something you really want to do, then that's one thing. On the other hand, i f you're just doing it because they want you to, and you don't want to disappoint them... that's another thing entirely."

Yotsuba pursed her lips wordlessly.

"It would be disrespectful to this team and their captain if you went in with an 'I'm just doing this to help you out' attitude, after all," I said, shaking my head. "You need to be going in with actual commitment, right? Otherwise, you're just wasting your time -- and theirs."

She frowned, looking down at her phone. There was a moment of silence where I could see that she was turning my words over. Then, looking up at me, she nodded.

"I think this is something I really want to do. I really loved track in middle school... and I want to do it again."

I nodded. "In that case, I think you should do it-- on one condition, though."

"Yeah?"

"Make sure you're still passing the finals," I said, frowning. "No slacking on studying. You don't want to throw away all the effort you put into the midterms."

Yotsuba's eyes searched mine for a moment -- and maybe she found what she was looking for, because a grin broke out on her face.

"Deal! I'll let Eba-san know that I'm in."

I simply grunted in response. Yotsuba typed a quick response, and then smiled at me.

"Don't worry, Uesugi-sensei! I'm not gonna shirk on my studying -- I'm going to blow those finals out of the water."

" Excellent ," I said, nodding. "Now, I hope you're prepared for me to blow you out of the water."

"H-Huh?" Yotsuba asked, a sudden note of panic entering her voice.

With a grin on my face, I shuffled the deck of cards, and then dealt.

A look which I thought might have been disappointment crossed her face.

Two and a half hours later, the bus pulled to a stop in front of the school, and we slowly disembarked. I was the last one off, following Yotsuba down the steps. As she grabbed her off-loaded suitcase from amidst the crowd of bags, I noticed that the large black car of foreign make which regularly brought them to school was parked near the gates. Locating my own luggage, I watched her and her sisters walk towards the imposing vehicle. Turning around and waving, Yotsuba grinned at me.

"It was a great trip!" she called. "See you tomorrow, Uesugi-san!"

I could feel a grin spreading across my face at her enthusiasm as I raised my hand and waved back; then, as they entered the car with its tinted windows, I felt my fingers curl slightly, my arm sagging.

I still need to ask her about what happened. To understand her feelings... and my own.

Biting my lip, I began walking towards the gate deep in thought, the black car pulling away and soon vanishing.

But... it'll have to wait.

"Uesugi-kun!"

I pulled up short, and turned to look behind me, the honorific paired with the boy's voice striking a discordant tone which snapped me from my brief reverie. Second Place-san had pulled up behind me, suitcase in tow, his hand raised.

"Yes?" I asked, a note of irritation entering my voice unprompted.

"Um... may I speak with you for a moment?"

My eyes narrowed... but I nodded.

"Sure, what's up?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Ah... not here. Perhaps somewhere slightly more private?"

Baffled, I nodded. He led the way around the corner of the school, walking until we reached an area entirely devoid of people. It was only there that I noticed that a slight breeze was blowing -- I pushed my hands into my coat pockets for warmth. It was less cold than in the mountains, but it was still November.

"So? What is it?" I asked, shivering slightly.

To my utter shock and bewilderment, Second Place-san bowed his head.

"I... I need your help."

There was a moment of silence that stretch ed between us, primarily caused by m y trying to process his words. Then, finally, I frowned.

"...Why?"

His bow deepened. "I've ... I've come to the realization that when it comes to tutoring, and especially tutoring th o se five... I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Blunder after blunder, sometimes without even realizing I've made a blunder -- I'm entirely out of my depth."

I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that.

"So... I'm asking for your help. Please. "

I shook my head. "I'm not a tutor. I don't know anything about tutoring -- ask someone else."

"Please! You helped Nakano Yotsuba pass most of the midterms, when I couldn't even get the majority of them to attend my sessions! I was only able to make up with Nakano Itsuki because of your guidance. If you won't help me... I don't know what I'm going to do!"

Scowling, I scratched my head. This wasn't remotely how I'd expected the rest of my afternoon to go.

"So... what exactly do you want from me?"

Second Place-san looked up at me, a hopeful expression on his face.

"Just advice. You've told me many times that my pedagogy is... is bad. I've been forced to admit that you're right. So... please. Teach me. Teach me what I should be doing to succeed."

The twitch of his face, the trembling of his lower lip... I could tell how difficult those words were for him to get out. How much effort they'd taken.

How much he'd needed to swallow his pride.

Looking over his hope-filled face, I thought back on the trip -- and how many times he'd surprised me.

And... the others' grades depend on him. Since I refused to teach them, and I have no intention of taking up the mantle if he fails... I suppose I owe them this much.

I bit my lip... and then made a decision.

"So... just to be clear," I said slowly, "all you want is advice. You don't want me to partake in the sessions, or anything like that."

"I mean, if you'd be willing --"

"No."

"Then... yes, that's all I want. I want to do right by those girls, and make up for the failures that led us to this point," he said. "It'll be a very steep upward climb, trying to get them to all pass the finals... but I need to at least give it an honest try."

Rising back to his full height, he sighed. "Though, as I said... I don't actually have any idea what I'm doing."

I looked him up and down... and then a half-smile leaked onto my face, practically against my will.

"Well... I'll see what I can do. I'm not an expert either, but... maybe I can help you with figuring out how to make sure the sessions are productive, and that they're actually learning something. Since, you know, your pedagogy sucks."

Reaching over, I clasped his shoulder. "I'm glad you're facing them head-on, though."

The boy met my eyes, and gave me a wan smile. "It's the least I can do, after everything that's happened."

He extended his hand awkwardly.

"I look forward to working with you."

I looked down at the outstretched hand. I looked back up at the blond boy in front of me. Then, I pursed my lips.

"I do have one condition."

"...Oh. Yes?"

I shook my head. "I'm only willing to help insofar as it doesn't impact my own studies, or Yotsuba's. I'm not throwing either of our grades away over this."

He nodded. "Deal. Their grades are my responsibility anyways. I wouldn't ask you to go that far."

I nodded back to him and , re leasing h is shoulder, I firmly shook his hand.

"Let's both do our best, Takeda."

After the brief shake, he laughed nervously and withdrew his hand. "Well... I suppose I'll see you tomorrow, or some other time this week. We can coordinate."

I nodded, and Takeda began to walk away... but then paused.

"Ah, actually-- if we're to coordinate, I suppose it would be easiest if we share contact information. Would that be agreeable to-- um, would that be alright with you?"

I nodded again blankly, and we then quickly exchanged e-mail addresses. Walking away, he waved back at me.

"Thank you for the help, Uesugi-kun! I shall endeavour to make it worth your while!"

"Sure," I said, awkwardly raising a hand in response. Then, he rounded the corner, and Takeda was gone.

In a mild daze, I looked down at my phone... and the list of contacts had once again grown.

Nakano Yotsuba, Nakano Itsuki... and now, Takeda Yuusuke.

Shaking my head, I stowed my phone, and walked back to the gates, suitcase in tow.

I didn't particularly expect anyone to be home -- Raiha had school, and my dad was likely at work. So, I took my time with the commute home; catching the bus when it eventually came, but not rushing to catch the earlier option; watching the scenery as it passed; slowly walking from the stop to the apartment. Leisurely climbing the stairs, step by step, dragging the suitcase behind me, I was eventually outside our door. Fishing the key out of my pocket, I swung it open, and then made my way inside.

After a weekend of being constantly surrounded by people, the apartment felt... barren.

Closing the door and locking it behind me, I took off my coat and shoes, and walked in. After rolling my suitcase into a corner, I lowered myself to the floor, and sighed. The silence was deafening, the solitude claustrophobic. It was like I was coming down from a runner's high -- not that I'd ever experienced what that was like.

I flopped over, spread-eagled on the floor next to the table. I knew precisely what the problem was.

After four days straight together, I was experiencing acute Yotsuba-withdrawal.

The thought made me laugh quietly to myself.

After it subsided, I sighed. Staring at the ceiling, the previous night's scene replayed in my mind for the thousandth time.

I want to understand. I want to understand why she grabbed my hand like that... and what she was thinking. Why she had that look on her face.

Rolling onto my side, I closed my eyes.

Deep in the cage in my chest, in the shadowy reaches where the beast lazed, a harsh purr rumbled.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I was suddenly jolted awa ke by the sound of somebody fiddling with the lock. Blearily sitting up, I looked to the kitchen, the entrance out of sight around the corner. The refrigerator was suddenly lit up with grey-blue light as the door swung open -- and a blast of chilly November air entered the room .

Then, Raiha bounded into the apartment, followed shortly thereafter by my dad.

" Ah-- Onii-chan! You're home!" she squealed, charging up to me. "Tell me everything !"

Amused, I paused, thinking back on everything that had happened.

Then, I shook my head.

"...Where do I even start?" 

Notes:

With this, we draw the third arc of "How We Met Again" to a close, and also mark the end of the entire first half of the story. Thank you very much for reading this far, and for sticking with the story for so long -- we've come a long way from Fuutarou not wanting Raiha to sell his kidneys, and getting smacked in the head by Itsuki's volleyball!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, whether it be on FF.N, AO3, Reddit, or on Discord. It was definitely my most-reviewed chapter, and it really meant a lot to me to see all of the reactions to what I'd written (and in particular, the dance and the scenes that came before it). Thank you all so much!!

Finally, an announcement. You may have noticed that this chapter took quite a while to come out compared to my usual schedule. I meant to announce this at the end of the last chapter, but frankly, I just forgot to do so: I've been participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year, a yearly challenge every November where you try to write a 50,000 word novel in one month.

In my case, I'm writing a 50,000 word fanfiction in one month. It's going to be a Fuutarou x Itsuki fic, called "A Sonata of Solitude". It'll be comprised of five chapters, each about 10,000 words. As you could imagine with writing 50,000 words in one month, there hasn't been a lot of time for editing -- so I'll be spending most of December editing the fic and cleaning it up. I plan to begin posting sometime at the end of that month, though I'm not sure of an exact date yet. I hope you'll all check it out once it's live!

Also, I'm doing the challenge alongside Miimbot, the author of "Marching Forward", who's also writing a Fuutarou x Itsuki fic. It's called "Lesson Five". Please consider checking it out once it's released! (Also, if you haven't read Marching Forward... what are you doing?! Go read it!)

Thank you so much for reading -- see you all in the next arc!

Chapter 30: You Say Run

Chapter 30
You Say Run

"I don't think I understand... you want me to... shut up and let them do it themselves?"

Sighing resignedly, I nodded my head. "Yes."

It had been two days since we'd returned from the camping trip. Two days, and this was already the third time that Takeda had come to me seeking advice, despite the fact there hadn't been a single session yet. While I could understand his anxiety to a certain extent with his job being on the line, for my part it was deeply irritating -- I was willing to help, but it was starting to take up more time and mental energy than I'd bargained for.

I had agreed to be a resource, not a safety blanket.

That said, it certainly hadn't hurt his cause that Takeda had bought me lunch.

"Look," I elaborated, swallowing a bite of the grilled cheese sandwich which I'd never remotely been able to afford before now. "The goal of the exercise is to do what, exactly?"

"Um... get them to pass the exams...?"

"Ok, and in order to pass the exams, what do they need to do? I mean in a literal sense."

Takeda seemed stumped on that for a moment, before slowly raising an eyebrow, a skeptical tone entering his voice as he answered. "...Answer questions correctly?"

"Yep. So, that's what they need to be doing -- answering lots and lots of questions. Of course, they need to know the material in order to do that, but you need to be getting them into hands-on experience as quickly as you can."

He seemed to take a moment to process what I was saying, turning it over in his head. Then, slowly, he nodded.

"I suppose... in order to train a skill, one must practice that skill. I see... hmm, very astute, Uesugi-kun!"

Takeda seemed inordinately pleased by the realization he'd had, and pulled out a small notebook, in which he quickly wrote with a pen. I'd seen the notebook a number of times over the previous two sessions -- he'd claimed it was for "tutoring notes", whatever that meant. Being associated with the word, even tangentially, was off-putting in the extreme. I just hoped he would soon reach the point where he could get the sisters to pass without my advice.

Being within ten feet of the "tutor" title gives me hives.

Thinking about it for too long brought up uncomfortable memories -- and so I took another bite of my lunch, shaking my head to dispel the irritating association like a horse's tail knocking away flies.

In the absence of the ability to change the past, brooding did no good at all.

I suddenly heard footsteps behind us, and glanced up to see Yotsuba approaching our table, a hesitant look on her face.

"Uesugi-san...?" she asked, furrowing her brow. "And... Takeda-san? Why are you two...?"

"My dearest compatriot here, Uesugi-kun, is offering me simply splendid advice on the art of teaching and pedagogy!" Takeda cried, raising his arms. "I've taken so many notes already -- our session tomorrow shall be completely different, Nakano-san; I swear it!"

Yotsuba looked at Takeda for a long moment, then turned to me and raised an eyebrow. Taking another bite of my sandwich, I shrugged.

Sorry.

After a moment of her awkwardly standing there, tray-in-hand, Takeda suddenly looked at his watch, and dramatically shook his head. "Ah, alas, where has the time gone?! I must be off. Thank you again for all of the advice, Uesugi-kun. I hope that meal was an adequate form of restitution."

With that, he grabbed his tray, and got up -- but as he did so, he not-so-surreptitiously winked at me, a gesture about which I was very conflicted. With him gone, Yotsuba sank into the chair across from me and frowned, staring after her tutor as he went.

"So, uh... what was that all about?" she asked.

"He asked me for some help with prepping for his tutoring work," I said, sighing. "He got my thoughts on teaching, and I got an interesting lesson about myself out of it in return."

"What's the lesson?" Yotsuba asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"That I'm willing to put up with a lot of crap for a free lunch," I muttered, feeling a little annoyed at myself -- I didn't like being this easy. "It's not all bad though -- it's proof that he's trying. Maybe he really will be able to get your sisters to pass."

"I hope so..."

Yotsuba seemed on edge, shifting in her seat, her fingers anxiously drumming on the table. It took me a moment before I remembered the probable cause.

"Nervous?" I asked, eating the last bite of my sandwich, and transitioning to the french fries that had, decadently, been included on the side of the meal. People get this much food regularly?

"H-Huh? Oh! Hah... yeah," Yotsuba said, laughing awkwardly. "I'm... I'm a bit scared, to be honest. I was talking to some of the girls in my class today, and apparently Eba-san has a bit of a reputation for being..."

She paused, seemingly looking for diplomatic wording. I popped another french fry in my mouth.

"...intense," she finished, an uncomfortable look on her face.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

My words seemed to catch Yotsuba by surprise -- she took a moment to consider it, weighing her options. As she looked at me, I thought I saw a brief look surface in her eye, an echo of the expression on her face around the bonfire. A sliver of guilt, a fraction of sadness; but also repressed joy. An admixture of all things, leading to an opaque morass, each constituent part indecipherable.

Or, maybe it was all in my head.

"I... you know what? That... would be nice."

Yotsuba bowed her head, a gesture which struck me as deeply funny. I flicked her ribbon up with my finger, and shook my head as she glanced up at me.

"Don't bow," I laughed . "I know you'd do the same for me -- besides, I want to support you. Relax."

Yotsuba gave me a smile, and lifted her head. "Thanks, Uesugi-san. I'll... I'll do my best!"

"You'll kick their asses," I shrugged, popping my final french fry into my mouth. "I have unwavering faith."

Yotsuba got a look on her face which looked somewhere between being touched and being... wistful. I wasn't really sure how to take it; and amid my own ongoing uncertainties regarding my emotions, not to mention hers, it simply added more fuel to the fire of my quandary.

What the heck does that look mean?

I'd not had much time to actually be alone with her since the trip, either. The day after we'd gotten back, she hadn't eaten lunch with me, spending it with her sisters; and after school, she'd had to leave before we could study together, the basketball club apparently having asked for her help. I'd understood, of course, and I hadn't been upset... but it meant I hadn't yet had an opportunity to ask her about that night.

About the dance.

About her grabbing my hand.

Shaking my head, I attempted to concentrate -- my primary focus would be on supporting Yotsuba in her track aspirations, and on the final exam. If I got the opportunity to ask her, then that was all well and good; I wasn't going to press the subject when there were other people around, though. It felt... wrong. Like it was violating something private.

Something sacred.

I didn't want other people to find out. It was enough that just the two of us knew.

And Itsuki, I guess.

At that thought, my eye was unconsciously drawn to the redhead across the room, who was in the midst of slurping up noodles. We happened to make eye-contact, and she glanced slowly between Yotsuba and me. Giving me an emphatic thumbs up, she went back to her meal, and I rolled my eyes at the side of her head.

"So," I said, turning back to Yotsuba, who was focused on her food as well. "We are still going to be studying together for finals, right?"

"Of course!" Yotsuba said, an almost hurt tone entering her voice. "I'm not going to just give up after how far we've come! That would insult all of your hard work!"

"Er... I think your hard work is the thing that would be wasted there," I said drily. "I'm just studying alongside you. I'm not a tutor."

"Oh-- right! Haha, right... my bad!"

I frowned. Somehow, I felt like I was being humoured -- but with a shrug, I decided to ignore it. It wasn't my fault if she had that misconception; I'd stated repeatedly that I wasn't a tutor, nor was I tutoring her.

That said... the idea of Yotsuba associating the word 'tutor' with me left a bad taste in my mouth. Not for the first time that day, an image rose to the surface of my mind entirely against my will, an intrusive thought. A flash of black hair. A soft laugh.

My chest squeezed slightly at the sight, though I could tell it was just an instinctive reaction; a remnant of what once had been. Deep in my chest, in the cage of many things, a resentful growl rumbled -- but for the most part, the beast was still.

The memory of her doesn't have the effect it used to.

That thought brought a half-smile to my face, something which didn't go unnoticed by Yotsuba. Tilting her head, she looked at me.

"Did something good happen, Uesugi-san? You're smiling."

"No-- well, maybe," I said, shrugging. "I might just be happy we're going to study together again."

"O-Oh!" Yotsuba said, leaning back in her chair, a slight blush crossing her face. "Well, I'm... I'm happy that you're happy!"

"Well, I'm happy that you're happy that I'm happy," I said, waggling my eyebrows at her. After a moment with both of us being frozen, she cracked, and we both started cackling. Looking at Yotsuba's laughing face, the flush crossing her skin, the redness filling up her cheeks, I could feel a strong sensation of warmth flourishing in my chest.

The beast got a bit more vocal in its cage.

Shush, you.

The bell rang soon after, and I reluctantly separated from Yotsuba to return to my classroom. Before doing so, however, we made plans to meet in the library after class before going to her track club meeting. As I approached my classroom, I heard rapid footsteps coming from behind, and I glanced back to see Itsuki hurriedly catching up to me.

"Hey," I said, turning around and walking backwards to face her.

"Uesugi-kun," she said by way of greeting, stepping up to walk next to me. "How was your... conversation with Yotsuba? Have you asked her about the dance yet?"

I frowned, turning back forward. "I'm not sure why you felt the need to pause before the word 'conversation', but-- no, not yet. It doesn't feel like the sort of thing I should ask about when we're surrounded by a bunch of people; and I haven't had an opportunity to be properly alone with her yet. Maybe on the weekend. We'll see."

Itsuki sighed. "If you let this go on too long, it's going to just get harder and harder to ask. Trust me on this -- don't let it drag out and become a 'thing'."

I pursed my lips as I took her words into consideration. "I... guess so."

"In other words," she said, opening the classroom door and glancing back at me, "get your butt in gear."

Scowling, I followed her inside. The classroom was pretty much full, the two of us being the last ones in. The usual twitters emanated from the more asinine corners of the room -- a fact which had begun to marginally irritate me.

One would think they'd have figured out there's nothing there by now. Especially with everything going on with...

I frowned. Where had I been about to take that thought?

The cage rattled.

With more force than usual, I clamped down on the emotions in the cage, forcing them back.

This is neither the time nor place to investigate what dangers lie within.

The afternoon's classes went by quickly, and as the bell went, I flung my bag onto my shoulder and hurried to the library. After a few minutes of loitering by the entrance, Yotsuba arrived, and we departed for the track outside the school. As we walked through the halls, Yotsuba was chattering my ear off -- but I could tell that it was due to nerves. Her fidgeting, her anxious glances out the window as we walked... it was blatant.

It reminded me, in a strange way, of Raiha.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that revelation. I thought I probably didn't like it.

Exiting the school, we finally arrived at the track to see four girls standing in red tracksuits; one with blonde hair, and three with black. It was obvious at first glance who the captain was -- it was something about the way the girl at the front with lightly tanned skin and a long black ponytail was carrying herself, the impatience radiating off of her. Even without looking, I could sense it: Yotsuba next to me, wilting under her iron gaze.

I could feel my eye twitch involuntarily.

"Nakano-san!" she barked. "You're late! Hurry and go change -- we're going to start warming up as soon as you get back!"

"Y-Yes!" Yotsuba yelped, and then scampered off, duffel bag in tow. Raising my eyebrow, I walked over to the nearby bleachers, and sat on the brown metal, cooled by the chill autumn air. The captain, Eba, eyed me up from afar with an unreadable look on her steely face -- and as Yotsuba vanished into the changing room, her brow furrowed, and she approached me, purpose emanating from every step of her stride.

I see what Yotsuba meant about her being intense.

"So... who are you supposed to be?" she asked, polite inquisitiveness hiding a veiled bite of steel in her words.

I looked up at her, trying to keep my face straight as irritation spiked in my chest at the unprompted aggression. "Her friend. I'm just here to watch."

"I see," Eba said, her eyes narrowing. "I should let you know that we typically don't allow observers. We've had issues with peeping toms in the past. Sorry."

I got the distinct feeling that she wasn't sorry at all -- and I suddenly found that I really didn't like this girl. There was a possessive vibe I got from her, like a dragon jealously guarding a newly found gem.

Or... is the possessive one me? Maybe I'm imagining it. Regardless, I shouldn't pick a fight with Yotsuba's new captain.

"Well, I hope you'll make an exception," I said, pulling out my flashcards, and glancing down at them. "I can assure you, I've got absolutely no desire to ogle any of you."

As much as I want to pick a fight.

I couldn't see her face, but I heard the sudden sharp intake of breath.

"E-Eba-san! I'm back!"

I glanced up at the call, and the girl turned to look at Yotsuba, her long black ponytail swishing in the breeze as she spun her head. Then, looking back over at me, she grimaced, and shrugged.

"Fine, you can stay. If you cause any kind of problems though, or distract Nakano-san, I'll have you out on your ass. Capiche?"

"Sure, sure," I muttered. "Got it."

I thought I saw her eye twitch, but then she seemed to shake herself, and turned away. Returning to the group, she seemed to share a few words with Yotsuba, who nervously nodded. Then, after a few moments, the other girls began to stretch, and Yotsuba trotted over to me.

"Uesugi-san!" she called, stopping a few metres away from me. "We're going to start running now -- wish me luck!"

I eyed up Yotsuba -- her obvious nerves, but also the determination on her face. After a moment's pause, I gave a thumbs up, and she grinned at me.

I felt a flicker of warmth in my chest.

As the track team finished their warm up and began their first run, I would occasionally glance up from my flashcards to watch them going by in their red tracksuits. They cut a striking image in the late-afternoon sun, already beginning to sink in the sky. My eyes were, as ever, drawn to Yotsuba as she easily kept pace with the more senior members of the team, even if it was just warm-up.

I could feel my chest swelling with pride, which was a tad ridiculous given I'd had absolutely nothing to do with her athletic accomplishments. Watching them jog, it felt like Yotsuba was in her environment; she just looked... right.

Suddenly, for a moment, I was struck by a pang of guilt -- had I been dragging her away from the place she belonged by getting her to study? Had I been holding her back? Had--

I smacked myself gently on the cheeks. That line of thought was stupid; I was just having a delayed reaction to Eba's possessiveness. Yotsuba had already indicated to me that she wanted to pass the final. She belonged here -- but she also belonged with me.

To study, I added hastily to myself. For the exam.

Eventually, the warm-up ended, and they began doing sprints. One member stood at the far end with a stop-watch, while another team member stood at the starting line. Then, everyone ran a hundred metres in turn, timed. I wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying, but I happened to glance up from my flashcards as Eba began her heat.

She paused, crouched at the starting line. A moment of stillness. Then, like a lightning bolt cracking down from stormy skies, she took off, racing down the causeway at top speed. Her long black hair, tied in a ponytail, shot out behind her as she ran. Even though they were nothing alike, even though it was just the hair, my thoughts inadvertently drifted back to--

My eyes snapped to Yotsuba as she took her own place.

She crouched, her eyes fixed on the finish line, every muscle in her body taut, a cord stretched with tension, ready to snap.

There was no denying it. Eba was fast.

Yet, as the whistle blew, the girl I knew was no longer; she was light, she was sound, she was fury.

She was gone.

A s quickly as it had begun , Yotsuba was at the other end of the course, a hundred metres devoured in a moment ; or at least, that was how it appeared to my untrained eye. Though I was still unable to hear their individual words, I was able to hear the whoop of excitement that Eba released, and I could see the way that the other girls of the team were looking at one another in subdued awe .

I knew nothing about track.

But, even I could tell that Yotsuba was good.

Glancing back down at my flashcards as another team member began to sprint, I suddenly frowned, the image of Yotsuba's charge flickering in my mind. I'd always known she was fast, and that she was the most athletic of all her sisters. However, seeing her run at full tilt, muscle stretching and feet pounding, hair and ribbon whipping in the wind as she streaked down the course... it really hit home to me the fact that every time I'd seen her run before now, she'd been holding back.

It hit me just how much she'd been holding back.

Something about that thought felt like it was tickling another part of my brain -- my mind trying to form a neural pathway, to connect two unrelated ideas. Yet, to my chagrin, I couldn't quite figure out what the link was.

It'll come to me eventually.

Sighing, I returned to my flashcards, reviewing English grammar. I sat there for a long time, to the point that the November sun was on the verge of vanishing, autumn shortening the days and demanding that the dark quickly sweep forth. Eventually, the team members were dismissed by Eba, and Yotsuba came trotting up to me.

She was drenched from head to toe in sweat -- but there was a huge grin on her face.

"Uesugi-san! Sorry I made you wait -- I didn't realize how long the first session would be."

Shrugging nonchalantly, I stowed my flashcards. "It's fine -- it was a nice change of scenery, and I enjoyed watching you guys run. It was interesting; I haven't really spent any time paying attention to sports before."

A faint blush came across Yotsuba's face. "Ehehe... yeah. It was fun. I thought I'd be more rusty, to be honest -- I guess my training paid off!"

"Guess so."

My eyes wandered over her -- her face reddened, mostly from the exertion, the sweat running down her brow. Her heavy breathing, breath faintly visible in the cool evening air. There was something... captivating about the way she looked.

The beast in the cage purred, and I internally shook my head. Stupid.

"Nakano-san! We're going to go change and shower now -- there'll be a team meeting afterwards, so hurry up!"

At Eba's call, Yotsuba's head jerked away from me, and she called a panicked response. Turning back to me, she grinned.

"Thanks again for coming with me, Uesugi-san. I really, really appreciate it!"

"Sure," I said, smiling at her. With that, she waved goodbye, and sped off to rejoin her teammates. I was left alone on the bleachers, watching her go... and wondering to myself why I hadn't taken the time I'd been granted to ask her to talk, both on the way to the track, and in those precious few moments we'd just had. There'd been an opportunity there, but I'd missed out.

Next time.

Packing up my things, I shot Yotsuba an email telling her I'd be heading home, and then left. On my way, my thoughts were in turmoil -- a mixture of chastizing myself for missing my opportunity, and images of her flushed face flashing through my mind, and the feeling it had evoked in my chest. By the time I walked through my front door, I was thoroughly irritated with myself on both counts.

Don't let this drag out, Fuutarou.

T he next day, as I was going for lunch, I heard footsteps quickly approaching me from behind; and before I even turned around, I knew who it was .

"U-Uesugi-kun! Please-- I require your aid!"

Groaning, I lowered my head to my hand. This would make the fourth time -- and I knew for a fact that they were set to have their first session that night. Takeda coming to me was solely a product of anxiety, not of genuine need. Part of me briefly considered taking him up on his request just to get another free lunch out of the boy; but that felt unethical, and also made me feel a bit pathetic.

So, raising my head and turning to face him, I shook my head.

"Look, Takeda... I need to remind you of something."

He looked at me with a hopeful look on his face.

"You're their tutor. Not me."

Takeda's face fell, and I immediately felt conflicted -- it had come off more harshly than I'd intended. Sighing, I tried to suppress the need to elaborate ; but it was futile.

"What I'm trying to say," I muttered after a moment, irritated with myself, "is that I'm fine with being a resource -- but there's not much more for us to talk about until after your session. Ultimately, you're the one who has to pull this off. Not me. I understand the anxiety; but there isn't anything else I can do for you until afterwards. I can't and won't do this for you. "

Takeda bit his lip, a lingering look of hurt on his face... but eventually, he nodded.

" Hmm... yes! 'Tis indeed my glorious purpo-- uh, I mean... yes, it's my job, after all. I appreciate the help you've given me to this point, Uesugi-kun. Truly."

I nodded, silently appreciating the effort Takeda had put in to suppress his inner chuunibyou . Then, clapping my hand to his shoulder, I did my best to smile at him. Somehow, it felt wrong on my face directed at him -- but I tried , at least .

"Just... do your best, while keeping in mind the things we've spoken about; you'll be fine."

Probably.

Takeda's eyes got misty, and he nodded fervently.

"I... I shall prove your faith in me justified, Uesugi-kun! Have no fear-- I shan't fail you!"

I sighed. "Be more worried about failing them, not failing me."

Nodding in agreement, Takeda departed: hopefully to finish his preparations. Watching the blond boy stride away, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease prickling in my gut. I had faith that he'd improved his attitude; but, that didn't mean he'd necessarily be a more effective teacher.

Not that I'd probably do much better.

Stepping into the cafeteria, I looked around, but couldn't spot any of the quintuplets. Shrugging to myself, I got my food, and went to go sit at my usual table.

A few minutes later Yotsuba arrived: and with a relative absence of other students around, I thought I would maybe have an opportunity to finally talk to her. To ask the questions that had been plaguing me for days. To resolve things, and--

"Yotsuba, Fuutarou... is it alright if I sit with you?"

I looked up to see Miku awkwardly standing above us with her tray. Looking past her, I realized that the quints' usual table was looking decidedly sparse; and by sparse, I meant completely empty. Glancing over at Yotsuba, she had what appeared to be a conflicted look on her face for a moment -- then, as she noticed my gaze, it vanished, and she put on a grin.

It seemed a bit strained. Nevertheless, I took that as assent, though I wasn't quite sure if it was begrudging.

"Sure, that's fine," I said, turning back to Miku. "Where are your sisters, though?"

Smiling softly, Miku put her tray down and pushed the table that was next to ours over to connect them, and then sat next to me. Biting her cheek, she stared down at her food.

"Um... Ichika apparently had something to do with a club, though she wouldn't tell me what it was... and Itsuki was asked to help a teacher, and isn't going to be here for a while..."

"I see," I said, frowning. "What about Nino?"

"Nino's here, but when I suggested coming to sit over here..."

Miku shrugged helplessly, and I raised my eyes to scan the room. Eventually, my gaze settled on the redhead across the way -- as expected, she was sitting with the two girls who had been following her around on the school trip. Thankfully, she hadn't noticed my gaze, and I returned to looking at Miku.

"I see," I muttered, a flicker of annoyance in my chest. "Well, you're welcome to sit with us."

Miku nodded, and said a quiet thank you. The three of us ate, but Yotsuba seemed more... subdued than usual. The silence felt awkward, and I felt an uncharacteristic urge to break it-- but I couldn't think of anything to say.

The seconds stretched into close to a minute, with all three of us just quietly eating our food. Searching for a topic to talk about, I realized with a start just how effortless conversation with Yotsuba normally was.

It's only when something goes missing that you notice how present it was before...

Frowning, I bit my lip. It felt like, with Miku's presence, things had suddenly ground to a halt, though through no fault of her own. It also made it impossible to talk to Yotsuba about what had happened; I didn't feel like I was close enough with Miku to divulge that sort of thing to her. Not yet, anyways.

The minutes began to pile up, and I found myself desperately trying to think of something to talk about.

Come on, Fuutarou. You can do better than this...

Luckily, Yotsuba decided to pick that moment to kick her usual gregariousness back online.

"Oh! Uesugi-san, I forgot to tell you-- Eba-san told me in the meeting about our schedule for practices."

"Uh-oh," I said, frowning. "Please tell me it's not going to interfere too much with your studying."

"Um... I... won't tell you then?"

Wincing, I lowered my head to my hands. "How bad is it?"

"She said it would be Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. It was originally going to be every second day, but I told them I couldn't make Mondays because of the sessions with Takeda-san-- and Eba-san changed the date! I was really surprised, especially since I'm so new to the team."

I could feel ice filling my veins, a creeping sense of disbelief. "So, what you're telling me is... you have a scheduled activity every single day after class now."

Yotsuba nodded -- and then, after a moment, the penny dropped, and a sudden look of horror crossed her face.

"I-- oh no! I promised that we-- oh no! Shoot, I need to... I need to get that changed! I promised we would study together for the exam!"

"It's fine," I sighed. "I get it. I guess we can study together on the weekends... or something like that."

"No, Uesugi-san, I-- I promised! I'll go talk to Eba-san and... and see what we can do! I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine," I murmured. "I don't want to cause problems with your team, especially since they already moved practice once for you."

"I... I guess so," Yotsuba said, the ribbon on her head wilting in accordance with the devastated look on her face. Miku looked back and forth between us, munching on her lunch, an inquisitive look on her face -- but she said nothing.

"Do you want to study on Saturday then?" I asked quietly.

"Yes!" Yotsuba said, perhaps a fraction of a second too quickly and loudly. Her face reddened slightly, and she coughed. "Um, I mean... yes, that would be nice. Let's do that."

Snorting, I shook my head. "Fine. I guess it's a plan. I'll see you then."

A few minutes later, Itsuki arrived, a bewildered look on her face at the emptiness of the usual quintuplets table. Yotsuba called her over, and she slid into the seat across from Miku -- though as she saw the seating arrangement, she subtly raised an eyebrow at me, and I gave a slight shrug. The interaction, as far as I could tell, went unnoticed by both Miku and Yotsuba.

Eventually, the bell rang, and we all got up from the table. As Miku and Yotsuba left, I wished both luck with their session with Takeda... but as they walked away, my eyes were trained firmly on the back of Yotsuba's head, her bow dancing as she walked. My mind unconsciously went to our study sessions in the library after school, her laughing across the table from me, our textbooks spread out... and a pang went through my heart.

Maybe we'll find time for it again at some point.

As I walked back to the classroom with Itsuki at my side, I could feel my mood slipping even lower than it already had been. The fact that the track team was meeting three times a week to practice, the two sessions with Takeda... it wasn't her fault, but it suddenly felt as though the amount of Yotsuba's life that I was participating in had, seemingly overnight, drastically reduced.

With a grimace, I realized I didn't like it.

It's just you being selfish. She has her own life to lead; there are other things for her to do besides keep you company.

"Uesugi-kun? What's wrong?"

With a start, I turned to see Itsuki looking up at me, a look of concern on my face.

"Nothing," I said, waving her concern away. "Just... yeah. Nothing."

Her eyes narrowed, indicating she didn't believe me -- but perhaps due to the time constraint of getting back to the classroom, or perhaps for some other reason, she didn't press me on the matter.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, a blur of overthinking and frustration, and eventually I found myself alone in the library. My textbooks were spread around me, my only accompaniment the ticking of the clock, and the fluorescent lights masking the dull grey of the natural sunlight through the windows high above, rapidly fading as the day's light died.

Looking at the spot where Yotsuba would have been... there was a quiet sense of loss. I knew rationally that this situation wouldn't last forever; that my feelings were an emotional reaction to an inherently temporary situation. Nevertheless, as my pencil scratched against paper, as the seconds ticked by into minutes, a creeping sense of loneliness slithered up my spine, and sunk its fangs into my heart. Shaking my head, I attempted to throw it off... but to no avail.

From the cage, there was naught but icy silence.

Looking at the clock, seconds ticking by, I could feel a deep sense of unease. Yotsuba's time after classes during the school week was being entirely taken up by Takeda, and by the track team. I knew I was overreacting -- we still had lunches, and the weekend. That said, I couldn't help but listen to the harsh voice whispering in the back of my mind. Murmuring. Chiding. Pleading.

Agonizing.

With everything that she has to do... where do I fit in?

Chapter 31: A Query in the Cold, Part One

Chapter 31
A Query in the Cold
(Part One)

When I arose the next morning, it was cold.

A sudden drop of temperature had struck overnight, plunging the night air merely a handful of degrees above freezing. The insulation in our apartment was far from perfect, and I shivered as a draft allowed the frigidity of the outside world to infiltrate our home. With a murmur, Raiha turned over in her sleep and curled further into her futon, and I glanced down at her face as I got up to begin my day.

Things are simpler when you're in elementary school.

Somehow, that thought made me laugh to myself. My own problems weren't quite the end of the world either -- even if they had felt like it the previous night. While I still wasn't happy about the situation, I had eventually decided to try and avoid catastrophizing. In the end, the ones who controlled how much time we spent together were Yotsuba and me.

Eventually, Raiha and my dad woke up, and we had a nice breakfast together. As we ate, Raiha rambled about the anime she'd been watching, a monologue I'd tried to follow despite having no idea what she was talking about. The most recent episode of 'Five Piece:Re', the sequel series to Five Piece which had begun coming out after the movie's theatrical run, had apparently ended on a dramatic cliff-hanger, something Raiha was explicating on in a suitably melodramatic fashion over her meal.

I made a mental note to ask Yotsuba about it when I saw her next. If I remember...

After finishing our food, my dad took Raiha to school, and I departed on my own after waving goodbye. November had come in full force, and I was shivering on my way, my uniform jacket drawn close against my skin in a desperate attempt to cling to my body's warmth. A ward against the cold.

Arriving at the school gate, I was grateful to hurry across the grounds and step through the front door. While the air inside of the school wasn't all that much warmer, at least the wind was kept off by the thick walls. Opening my footlocker, I changed my footwear, my sock-bound feet having all their warmth leached away by the cool floor.

As I closed the locker, the sound of the school door opening again rang out across the room, and I glanced over to see the Nakano quintuplets entering the school.

Yotsuba was the first to notice me, and waved as she came up to me, a gesture I returned with a smile. The rest greeted me in their own ways, save Nino, who distinctly turned her nose up with a hmph. As she walked by, I narrowed my eyes at her, a gesture she no-doubt saw -- but, to my surprise, she simply turned and walked away instead of prolonging the confrontation.

Shaking my head, I turned to Yotsuba, who had a frustrated look on her face. There was a strange anxiety to the way she was standing, shifting her weight from foot to foot with her eyes locked onto me.

Is... something wrong?

"Morning. Are we still good for tomorrow?" I asked, an acidic, coiling feeling slithering in my gut -- a feeling I'd come to recognize quite well as anxiety.

Oh no. It's contagious.

Yotsuba hesitated... and then nodded, a frustrated look on her face.

"I should be, I think. I tried asking Eba-san about adjusting the schedule, and she mentioned something about Saturdays in passing, but she hasn't gotten back to me about it -- so I'm going to assume I'm free. I'm hopeful that we can move the Tuesday session to Sundays moving forward, so that I have Tuesdays free after school..."

She trailed off, an awkward look on her face -- but a sense of warmth passed through my chest at her words, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm just glad you're trying. Thank you."

My reaction seemed to surprise Yotsuba, but after a moment's hesitation, she tentatively returned the smile.

"I'm still really sorry for overbooking like this, Uesugi-san. I just... I wasn't thinking, and--"

"It's fine," I said, shrugging. "As long as you don't ditch me entirely. That would suck."

"I wouldn't do that!" Yotsuba protested loudly. A few students around the room looked over at us, but I didn't particularly care.

"Then we're fine," I smiled.

Yotsuba's face lit up at my words, and my own mood lifted in response to her smile.

"Ok, sounds good! Thanks-- um, I mean... yeah. Thanks. A-Anyways, I have to go -- but I'll see you at lunch, Uesugi-san!"

I raised a hand in farewell, and Yotsuba bounded away, her step considerably lighter than it had been when she'd arrived. Watching her go, I could still feel a stupid smile on my face. As I shook my head, I picked up my bag and threw it over my shoulder -- then, smacking my cheeks a few times, I turned to leave just as Itsuki walked over, a wry look on her face.

"How goes 'Operation-Just-Talk-To-Her?', hmm?" she asked drily.

"You're as bad at naming operations as Yotsuba is," I shot back.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind," I sighed, shrugging. "Let's head to class."

I set off walking, and after a few moments Itsuki followed behind me. We were both silent as we travelled through the halls, the only sound the pair of discordant footfalls and the chatter of other students that we passed.

As we continued, though, I began to develop the distinct feeling that there was something I was forgetting -- and then, as we rounded a bend, I stopped dead in my tracks as it hit me. Itsuki rounded the corner and walked face-first into my back, making me stumble forward.

"Eh? Uesugi-kun, what's wrong?" she asked, a look of confusion crossing her face as she reached up and gingerly grabbed her nose..

"Sorry," I said, turning to face her and awkwardly rubbing my head in embarrassment. "I just remembered -- the tutoring session. How was it?"

After a moment's pause, Itsuki scowled in disbelief. "Seriously? You made me crash into you just for-- ugh. You know what? Nevermind. Um..."

As she paused to think, she was silent for a few seconds. Then, the scowl lessened, and she shrugged. "It was... well, I can't lie. Compared to before, it was pretty good. Not perfect by any means, or even great, but... good."

Furrowing my brow, I nodded slowly. "I see. Could you give me more details?"

"Sure-- but let's keep walking," she replied, the scowl returning. "I don't want to be late because somebody decided to smack my nose with his spinal column."

Rolling my eyes, I continued walking, and after a moment Itsuki set off after me, picking up the pace to walk at my side. As we continued down the hall, I could see her face contort in concentration, as though trying to determine the optimal way to present the information churning in her head. We walked past a group of girls from our class who giggled as we passed, though they stopped when I shot a glare at them. Itsuki didn't seem to notice.

"Well, first of all, he very clearly had a game plan this time, so that was nice. Practice tests, question sheets, the lot."

Turning back to her, my eyes widened in pleasant surprise. He actually listened to me.

"He was also a lot more... hmm, I'm not sure how to put this...."

I waited while Itsuki thought, her brow contorted in concentration. I noticed that she was chewing on her lip as she did so, and wondered absently if it was a habit of hers that I'd never spotted before. Eventually, her face straightened out and she nodded to herself.

"Patient-- I think that's the best way to put it. He was quiet a lot, but not in the same way as he was before."

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as we rounded another corner and approached our classroom.

Itsuki shrugged in response.

"Before, when he was silent, it was because he was at a loss for words, or because he wasn't paying attention to us. Now, though, it feels more like he was silent because he wanted us to try and reach the answers ourselves -- like he was waiting to see how we did before jumping in. I don't really know how to explain it. Sorry."

"No, no-- that's fine," I murmured as we reached the door to the classroom, making a mental note to compliment Takeda next time I saw him. "So, I guess that just leaves the most important question."

Itsuki arched an eyebrow in confusion.

"Was it effective?"

She pursed her lips, her cheeks swelling slightly as she thought. For a moment, it vaguely gave her the appearance of a chipmunk, an observation which I found silently amusing.

"...I think so. Maybe. I guess we'll see," she eventually said.

"Hmm. Well, that's good enough for now, I guess," I shrugged, sliding the door to the classroom open. "I'll consider my anxiety about this slightly appeased."

"Oh? Were you worried about us, Uesugi-kun?" Itsuki teased. "How sweet of you."

"Yeah, I was-- because you're all idiots," I scowled at her as we walked into the half-full classroom. "I'm worried you're all going to flunk out and get sent back to elementary school."

"E-Elementary school?! Uesugi-kun, you-- mean! That's so mean!"

"Don't forget your little yellow hat," I grinned at her as I flopped into my chair. Itsuki pouted at me, but I could tell from her face she wasn't that upset. As she returned to her seat with a huff, I heard whispers from the other students, but I just rolled my eyes and ignored them.

What else is new?

Classes passed quickly, and I soon found myself sitting at my usual table in the cafeteria, with Yotsuba settled into the seat across from me. I was testing her with exam questions as we ate, and it was clear to me that there'd been some regression since the midterms. As my thoughts drifted to her commitments to the track team, I could feel a wiggling sense of anxiety in my chest.

I don't see how she's going to have enough time to study...

The feeling that we were leaving even a modicum of Yotsuba's fate in Takeda's hands made me uncomfortable, despite his recent change of attitude -- residual discomfort from our butting heads during the midterms. I was forced to wonder what, if anything, I could do to rectify the situation, to give her a better chance of succeeding. To give her--

"Uesugi-san?"

I realized I'd been zoning out, my food halfway between my bowl and my mouth, flashcards limply held in the other hand. Lowering my chopsticks, I took in the worried look on Yotsuba's face, and shook my head.

"Sorry, my bad. Let's keep going."

It's too early to be giving up, idiot.

"Oh, wait-- actually, I had a question for you. Raiha's been talking to me non-stop about this anime series..."

I was determined to do everything I could to help -- and I got my chance the next day when I went over to the Nakano apartment to study. Slightly past noon, I stepped off the bus, and stared up at the towering apartment building that served as the quints' home. It had been a few weeks since I'd come by... and the intimidation factor had returned now that I wasn't as time-pressed.

Muttering and shaking my head, I walked up the street and approached the front door. Pushing the relevant buttons for the intercom system, something with which I was well-versed at this point, there was a ringing sound, and then Yotsuba's voice came out.

"Hello?"

"It's me," I said, shivering slightly.

"Uesugi-san? Come on up!"

There was a buzz, and then the line went dead. The door swung open, and I gratefully entered the heated lobby. Stepping into the marble-floored elevator, I sighed, my new coat dropping loosely over my shoulders. For some reason that I couldn't quite place, I was nervous, which was absolutely ludicrous.

How many times have I been here at this point? There's nothing to be nervous about.

Eventually, the elevator pulled to a stop, and the door slid open. Stepping out into the hallway and turning to the familiar door, I reached out for the handle-- and then found that I was hesitating.

Why? You're just here to study.

Chastising myself, I turned the handle, and stepped inside.

"Uesugi-saaaaaaan! Hi, hello, come in!"

Hanging up my coat, I glanced into the main room to see Yotsuba furiously waving at me from the couch -- and in front of her was an assortment of chips and dips, though I noticed that it was a smaller collection than the previous times I'd been here. Nevertheless, the spread was, indeed, still fantastic.

"Hey," I said, flopping onto the couch next to her, my bag landing in my lap. "Looks like you went all out on the snacks again. Looks good."

"Ehehe," Yotsuba laughed sheepishly, her hand rubbing the back of her head. "I wasn't able to do as much as before; Eba-san really went hard on us on Friday, and so I ended up oversleeping today."

My eyes narrowed at that. "I see. Hopefully she's also giving you sufficient recovery time -- you need to still pass your exams."

"Don't worry, I'm going to give it my all!" Yotsuba said, throwing a salute. "I'll make you proud, Uesugi-san!"

"Right..." I said, suddenly feeling a bit flustered. "Well then, shall we begin?"

Clearing room on the table for our textbooks, we began studying. Beginning with Yotsuba's worst subject, mathematics, I was disheartened to see further evidence of backsliding in the weeks since the midterms. While she wasn't anywhere near regressing to the level she'd been at before we'd begun studying together, I'd hoped her results would serve as more of a springboard.

"No, you need to complete the square. We've been over this, remember? It was on the midterm. You got this right on the midterm!"

Yotsuba seemed embarrassed as I complained -- but also strangely happy, something I didn't quite understand. Each time she made a simple mistake that she ought to have known, I had to struggle to control my frustration; yet, the more my emotions seemed to boil over, the more delighted she seemed, even if it was clearly tinged with shame on her end as well.

I have no idea what goes through her head sometimes.

As we continued working on math problems, I heard soft footsteps, and glanced over my shoulder to see Ichika descending the stairs. With a loose shirt that draped off one shoulder, her outfit was giving her a very sloppy look that paired well with the mild bedhead announcing to the world that she'd only just woken up.

I glanced over at the clock. We'd already been studying for almost an hour. It's past one o'clock...

"Hey, Fuutarou-kun," she murmured as she walked over and leaned on the back of the couch between us, stifling a yawn. "Good morning."

"Good afternoon," I replied with an eye-roll, looking up at her. "You don't have work today?"

Ichika froze for a second, and then relaxed. I briefly wondered if she'd momentarily forgotten that I knew about her career choice, but since the lazy smile she gave me hid any other emotions she may have been feeling, I had no way of knowing.

"No, no," she said, shrugging. "There was no work to do today, so I have the day off."

"Well, that's nice," I said, glancing back at my textbook. "Though, I can imagine you'd prefer to have more work to do."

Ichika lightly laughed as she pushed off the couch and walked into the kitchen. "Yeah, well... maybe."

"Good luck."

Looking up, I saw Yotsuba glancing back and forth between us -- but the look on her face wasn't the conflicted one I'd occasionally seen surface in recent weeks, the unreadable morass of emotion that sometimes stuck to her face like sludge. Instead, the look was easy to read.

Surprise, with a dose of suspicion.

"Uesugi-san," she asked, narrowing her eyes after a moment. "Would you happen to know what Ichika's job is?"

Ah... whoops.

"Uh... I plead the fifth," I said, looking back down at my textbook.

"You can't plead the fifth, you're Japanese!" she exclaimed.

"Tch, my own retort turned back against me months later," I muttered, shaking my head. Then, without elaborating, I turned the page of my textbook.

"Hey, Uesugi-san! Answer the question!" Yotsuba complained, leaning over and staring at me, her nose mere centimetres away from my cheek. I could feel my face beginning to heat up, my cheeks and ears almost certainly flaring up red, and I turned my head to glance over at Ichika in the kitchen -- but as I did so, my nose swung past Yotsuba's, almost hitting hers, our eyes facing one another for a fraction of a moment before I looked past her.

Yotsuba recoiled a centimetre in shock before resuming her attack, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

I could see Ichika turned away, her shoulders trembling. It was blatantly obvious she was trying not to laugh.

Is this what I get for trying to keep your secret?!

"How about you stop pressing me for answers," I said carefully, leaning back to open up some distance between us, "and you ask your sister who is losing her mind over there."

"Huh?" Yotsuba asked, pulling back -- a reprieve -- and furrowing her brow. "What do you mean...?"

She turned to look at Ichika -- and then the suspicion on her face grew, if possible, all the more severe.

"Ichika, what's so funny?"

"S-Sorry," she said, turning back to face us and wiping an eye. "But just... Fuutarou-kun, your panicked face is hilarious."

"Panic?" Yotsuba asked, confused, looking back at me.

I scowled at Ichika, and if anything, her teary grin deepened as we made eye contact. Then, shaking her head, she turned her gaze onto Yotsuba, who glanced back at her, and a more serious look crossed her face.

"Yeah, he does -- he found out by accident while we were on the camping trip. I've been keeping it a secret because... nevermind. I'm going to tell you all at some point. You know... eventually. Once I feel ready."

At her sister's words, Yotsuba fell silent. After a moment of looking at Ichika, she glanced over at me, and the look in her eye caught me by surprise. There was still suspicion, of course, but there was also something else distorting what I was getting from her, a thin layer of emotion stretched thin atop the expression on her face. I wasn't quite sure what it was-- a curling of the corner of her lips, a drawing of her eyes, the way the light caught on her blue irises.

At first, I'd thought it was jealousy.

Then, a moment later, I recognized it as guilt, and a moment after that I realized the cause.

Ah, right. She has a secret of her own with Ichika.

I'd promised not to pry, back in the darkness of the woods. When Ichika had begun asking Yotsuba questions about my supposed past connections.

To Ichika.

To her.

So, I didn't pry.

I kept my mouth shut. I didn't say anything else, instead turning back to my textbook, avoiding Yotsuba's eyes.

But... the itch was there. Beneath the surface, wanting to know the truth.

I want to know what she knows.

After a moment, Yotsuba joined me, and we continued studying silently. I glanced over at her; her eyes were wide, staring down at the textbook.

Well, that's certainly an expression.

Ichika watched us for a few seconds, and then turned back around in the kitchen. There was a rumbling sound, and I glanced over to see that she was messing around with some sort of device on the counter. Eventually, she came over to join us with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. Curling up on the couch perpendicular to ours, she watched us pore over our textbooks, a vaguely amused look still playing out across her face as she sipped her drink.

After a few minutes had passed, I heard another set of doors open from up above, and Miku and Itsuki both came down the stairs. Miku quietly walked over and greeted me, but her sister seemed to be in far more of a rush. Giving me a brief hello, Itsuki was across the room in a flash -- as soon as she'd spoken, she was at the door throwing on her coat.

"Huh? Itsuki, where are you going?" Yotsuba called over, her brow furrowed as she turned to look at her sister.

"Ah--" Itsuki froze, her hand on the door handle. "I... have an... appointment? I am going to the library. To study."

My eyes immediately narrowed. That was a weird way of wording it...

"Bye!" she called, and then immediately fled through the door.

As the door closed with a click, I glanced over at Yotsuba, who was still staring at the entryway.

"Suspicious?" I asked.

"Very suspicious," she said, glancing over at me. "Very, very suspicious."

"On a scale of one to ten, how suspicious would you say it is, Corporal Yotsuba?"

Yotsuba perked up, and fully turned to look at me with a cheeky smile. "Oh, indeed, my good sir -- why, 'tis impossible to measure! Her levels of suspicion do be off the charts, m'thinks!"

"Hmm, so above a six?"

"I think six is smaller than infinity, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba laughed. "Maybe. Probably."

I snorted, then glanced over at the door. "Yeah, let's press her on it later."

"Ooh, an interrogation!" Yotsuba grinned. "I love interrogations! I'll go visit the drama club again for props!"

Laughing, we turned back to our studying. Miku had wandered over to the kitchen, and was searching for something in the fridge. She eventually returned with a green soda can in her hand, some sort of matcha-based drink. Hovering by the edge of the couch, she looked down at the two of us with a hesitant look on her face.

"Fuutarou... Yotsuba... is it ok if I join you?" she murmured, her hand gripping the can. I noticed absently that her hands were shaking slightly.

"Sure, feel free to sit -- it's your house, after all," I said, indicating at the free spot next to me.

"That's not what I mean," she said, shaking her head, the headphones wrapped around her neck twisting with her as she moved. "Can I... can I study with you?"

I paused, and turned to glance at Yotsuba, who was looking up at Miku. The look was back on her face again -- the confusing admixture of emotions that seemed to cloud her face more and more often, especially when her sisters were involved. Then, maybe she noticed my gaze, because the look cleared up; though whether her feelings were resolved, or if she had just tried to hide them, I didn't know.

"Sure," Yotsuba said brightly. "If you're ok with it that is, Uesugi-san!"

I eyed her carefully, looking for... something. Some sort of hint as to her true feelings on the matter. Yet, there was nothing to see, no crack in the mask, and so I gave up. Turning back to look up at Miku, I nodded -- but then frowned.

"Just so you know," I said, shifting slightly on the couch to make more room for her, "we're doing math at the moment."

Not social studies.

"Oh... ok," Miku said, a note of disappointment entering her voice. "I'll go get my stuff. Um... thanks."

As Miku walked back up the stairs, I glanced back over at Yotsuba -- but she was pointedly looking down at her textbook again, and I decided to just drop it.

Upon Miku's return a few minutes later, we began to study in earnest. It was nice -- but having four different people involved (as Ichika had begun occasionally piping up with comments and questions) made me feel a bit claustrophobic. I made a point of answering fewer questions, choosing instead to focus on my own studies, something which went unnoticed by Ichika and Miku... but I could feel the prickle of Yotsuba's gaze as I studied differential equations. She could tell I was getting uncomfortable.

Unconsciously, I shivered.

It also didn't help matters that Miku kept somehow guiding the topic to Sengoku warlords, despite the subject being math. I was almost impressed by the subtle ways that she found to derail whatever we were talking about onto the subject of social studies -- but as I guided the session back onto the topic of mathematics yet another time, I could feel myself beginning to get irritated.

Calm down. I'm sure she's not even doing it on purpose.

Sighing, I closed my textbook, and leaned back to rub my temple. Looking up at the clock, I could see that it was getting to be quite late in the afternoon; Yotsuba and I'd been at it for close to five hours. As if on cue, there was a clicking sound, and the front door opened to allow Itsuki back in.

"Welcome back!" Yotsuba called from her spot on the couch. "How'd your session go?"

Itsuki scowled at her sister before shaking her head. "It was fine, but please don't word it like that. It freaks me out."

Ignoring Yotsuba's confused look, she hung up her coat, took off her shoes, and then stepped into the apartment. Surveying the room, she strode over to the table, grabbed a chair, and dragged it over to the coffee table where we were all sitting.

"Ichika, you're actually studying?" Itsuki asked, an eyebrow raised.

Laughing awkwardly, Ichika scratched her cheek. "Well... maybe a little. I'm mostly just listening. You know I like math."

Giving her a look, Itsuki turned around to look at me-- but as she opened her mouth to speak, there was once again the sound of a door opening from up above, and the final sister emerged from her room. Leaning over the balcony, Nino stared down at our motley group, and her eyes narrowed as they met mine.

"Oh," she said, a hint of irritation in her voice. "You're here."

I sardonically waved up at her, and she rolled her eyes back at me. Then, descending the stairs, she entered the kitchen and began hunting for something-- but then she paused, and looked over at me.

"No bento today, huh?" she asked with a sudden note of smugness.

I looked down at my bag-- and then froze.

"Ah, shoot, I knew I forgot something."

Groaning, I put my head in my hands. Yotsuba reached over and patted my shoulder, and I sighed.

"Well," Nino said, a sudden note of uncertainty entering her voice, "I guess I wouldn't be entirely against cooking a bit extra for you. Since you don't have any food, after all. Maybe."

I looked up sharply in surprise and glanced over at Nino -- and saw that she was looking away from me, staring away to the side. I thought I saw her biting her lip, and I wondered if it was because she was conflicted... or if it was something else.

Well, having me around for dinner must be a pain in the ass for her.

"I appreciate it," I said, bowing my head. She looked over at me, let out a hmph, and then turned away again.

I... don't know how to take that.

After a moment of staring after her, I turned back to the table and got back to work.

I could feel Yotsuba shifting on the couch next to me.

About five minutes later, there was a buzzing sound that vibrated the entire table, and Yotsuba picked up her phone. Her eyes scanned over the text quickly, and then I saw her hand suddenly tighten on the device, her knuckles whitening. Gingerly putting the phone down, she took a deep breath, and then sighed -- and I got the distinct impression that she was trying to calm herself down.

Then, she turned to face me.

"Uesugi-san," she said quietly.

"Yeah...?" I asked, leaning back on the couch, putting down my notes.

"That was Eba-san."

I could feel my blood run cold. I was sure my eye involuntarily twitched, since Yotsuba's face grew more strained at my reaction.

"...What does she want?" I eventually said.

"She wants us to have a team run."

"When?"

"In two hours. At seven."

I just stared.

The moment stretched out between us, both making unblinking eye contact. I wondered, in that moment, if we were both thinking the same thing. I didn't know -- not for the first time, I found myself wishing I could read minds. Wishing I could do more than just make feeble attempts to read emotion from her face.

"Is she insane?" I asked quietly.

Yotsuba just shrugged helplessly.

Another moment of silence, our eyes locked.

"Are you going to go?"

"No!" Yotsuba said quickly, looking down at the phone. "N-No, I'm not going to-- it wouldn't be right. I can't do that. Not when you came over and... no."

Yet, her words rang hollow. I could see the conflict on her face.

"...Ok," I said quietly, turning back to my textbook. There was a pang in my chest... but I tried my best to suppress it.

I could feel eyes on the both of us -- the others staring, each with their own private thoughts. Four onlookers, each with their own perspective, each inaccessible to me. Fundamentally unknowable. Somehow, that thought made me uncomfortable. Like I was being peered at through a magnifying glass, a specimen for observation. I shivered, my pencil scratching across paper in an attempt to distract.

Twenty minutes went by -- and the entire time, I could see Yotsuba growing more and more distracted. Her eyes, flickering away from the page to her phone. Her efficiency, dropping like a stone. Her hand, occasionally moving involuntarily towards the device of its own accord before returning to her studies.

I could tell she wasn't making progress at all.

Eventually, sighing, I leaned back on the couch, and rubbed my eyes. I could feel the beginning of a headache coming.

"Ok, break time," I muttered. Yotsuba dropped her pencil, and Miku let out a huge yawn.

I looked up to see that Itsuki was staring at me from across the table. Silently, she raised an eyebrow at me, and I just shrugged.

I don't know what you want from me.

There was a sudden urge in my chest to go home. To stop getting in Yotsuba's way -- so that she could drop everything and just go to her track practice.

To not be a burden.

It took everything to wrestle it down; to recognize it as my own insecurities rearing their head. It was, ultimately, her choice.

Her choice, huh?

Yotsuba was looking down at her phone again.

Her hand was trembling.

Her choice...

"Your time is important," I murmured, leaning over to near her ear. "She doesn't have a monopoly on it."

A shiver seemed to go up Yotsuba's spine as I spoke, and a pink tinge danced across her face-- but silently, she nodded. Typing something quickly on the phone, she heavily put it down on the table, the case clattering on the lacquered wood.

"You're right," she breathed, staring down at the device. "You're completely right."

Leaning back on the couch, she laid her head back horizontally, and put her hands over her eyes. She let out a deep sigh, her shoulders visibly slumping.

There was a moment of silence, where I simply watched her. The twitch of her lips, uncertainty and indecision written across them despite her protestations.

It's her choice... and I shouldn't stop her. She needs to make this decision herself.

"That said," I said, biting my lip, "if you want to go... I can't stop you."

Yotsuba sat bolt upright, and looked at me in surprise. I couldn't see my own face, but I had a sense that it was a mirror of hers -- of indecision, and discomfort, and a tinge of vulnerability. I was watching her, as she was watching me. Waiting to see what she would decide.

"I... I can't do that," Yotsuba muttered, looking away from me.

I bit my cheek looking at the back of her head -- at her hair, falling in curtains about her head. At the ribbon drooped above her, a visualization of her inner conflict. The slight tremor running through her body, betraying the conflict raging inside.

She said she can't go. Not that she doesn't want to.

"If you want to go, go," I said, a bit more forcefully. "You're not getting much done while you agonize over this."

Yotsuba turned to look back at me, her brow furrowed.

"Are you sure? I would feel like... like I wasted your time, and--"

"Yotsuba," I said, gritting my teeth. "Look at the clock."

She looked over at the clock hanging on the wall above the television.

"Yes...?"

"We've been studying for over five and a half hours. I'm not going to be mad if you decide to go. Just... make sure it's a decision you're comfortable with. Don't do this for Eba."

She was silent.

"You will be losing studying time by going, but that's a decision you need to actually make. Stop taking me into account -- it's up to you."

Yotsuba turned back to look at me, and I could see her resolve wavering. It was apparent in her eyes, in the way she looked at me. The way that the sea-blue changed in the lighting, a subtle shift in emotion. Clear skies becoming stormy seas.

"...Ok."

Yotsuba picked up her phone and fired off a quick text, and then stood up.

"Sorry, Uesugi-san," she murmured, shaking her head. "I think I'm going to go after all."

"That's fine," I said, looking away from her. "Have fun."

Despite saying that, I could feel a stone in the pit of my stomach, a weight churning in its depths.

What am I doing?

Glancing over at Itsuki, there was a hard-to-read look on her face... but I thought she might have been angry. Frowning at her, I raised an eyebrow-- and she rolled her eyes at me before looking away. My frown deepening, I looked down at my textbooks.

Did I make the wrong decision?

Yotsuba quickly cleaned up her textbooks and notes, and carried them up to her room. She returned a few minutes later with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry again, Uesugi-san," she said, a pained look on her face. "I'll think of a way to make it up to you!"

"Don't worry about it," I said, shaking my head. The weight in my stomach grew heavier. "Just have a good time."

"Right. Well... bye!"

Then, she was gone.

There was a silence in the apartment. None of the other girls present were looking at me.

Sighing, I leaned back on the couch and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I... guess I should probably go, huh?"

"You can still stay for dinner if you want. It's fine."

I looked over and, to my surprise, identified the speaker as Nino. She wasn't quite looking at me -- but the look on her face was somewhere between embarrassment and pity.

I didn't like that look on her face.

"Besides," Miku said quietly from my right. "We haven't finished covering the Ounin war yet."

Pursing my lips, I looked over at Itsuki, who shrugged. Sighing, I glanced back over at Nino, who was watching me from the kitchen, and nodded.

"Um... thanks for having me."

Nino shrugged wordlessly, and looked away. I turned back to my textbooks, and tried to throw myself into studying. A few minutes later, Ichika got up and returned to her room, leaving me behind with just Itsuki and Miku -- but without Yotsuba there, I found that my heart wasn't in it, and eventually we gave up and just switched to playing cards.

Dinner was awkward, but we made the most of it. At the very least, I was grateful to not be expelled to the frigid balcony again. I couldn't help but notice that Nino had, once again, given me a slightly larger portion than anyone else -- I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I wasn't sure I liked her doing things for me out of pity.

Once we'd finished eating, I prepared to head down and catch the bus. Pausing in the entranceway, I turned to look at Nino, who was leaning on the kitchen counter scrolling on her phone.

"Hey, Nino?" I called. She looked over at me silently, a neutral look on her face as she raised a single eyebrow.

"Uh... thanks for the meal. I seriously appreciate it."

Both her eyebrows raised, evidence of her surprise. Then, she shrugged.

"Whatever. It's no big deal to cook an extra portion anyways."

Having said her bit, she turned away from me -- but I could have sworn that, as she turned, a smile slipped over her lips.

"Don't bother bringing a bento next time," she said, moving over to the dishwasher. "I don't want such low-quality food in the house."

Frowning, I bit back a retort, and turned back to putting my shoes on. I wasn't sure if she was insulting my (and by extension, Raiha's) cooking, or trying to tell me in a roundabout way that she would feed me any time I came.

...Maybe both? Bloody queen of mixed signals...

As I rose, sighing, I sensed movement to my right. Glancing over, I saw Itsuki walking over, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders.

"I'll come down to the lobby with you," she said quietly. I just nodded warily in response, and threw on my jacket. Then, we both exited the apartment.

As we stepped into the elevator and the door closed, she turned to look at me.

"So," she said quietly. "You know what I'm going to say, right?"

"Probably something about me wasting my opportunity here," I muttered, not looking at her.

"Bingo. What were you thinking? You had an obvious opportunity to talk to her about the dance, and everything you're worried about. Why? Why did you tell her to go?!"

I stared silently at the elevator wall as we slowly descended. I wasn't entirely sure of the answer to that myself. It had just felt like the unselfish thing to do... but now I was wondering what my own motivations had actually been.

Am I running away?

"Maybe part of me doesn't want to talk to her about it," I sighed, not looking at her. "Like... if I press the subject when she doesn't want to talk about it, things will change. They'll break. I can't shake the feeling that she won't tell me, even if I ask... and so, why even ask? Besides... I don't want to be the one holding her back from her track aspirations."

Itsuki snorted. "That's nonsense. You won't actually know that she won't tell you if you don't ask. Also, that captain of hers is being completely unreasonable, only letting her know this late."

I was silent.

Finally, Itsuki sighed. "Look, I get it. It's a lot easier to say 'just talk about it' from the outside. But... you can't keep dancing around the subject. I've seen the way you've been looking at her since that night. You think you're being subtle, but you're not. It's like you're on edge all the time, trying to figure her out from a distance. You need to get this settled. So, when you get another opportunity... take it."

The elevator door slid open, and we stepped out into the lobby.

"You're right," I muttered. "It is easier to say it from the outside. But... ok, look. Next time I'm alone with her, I will. I don't know if you've noticed, though, but the opportunities for that have gotten pretty slim."

Itsuki frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We're not alone at lunch, there are people everywhere. Mondays and Thursdays she has Takeda, and every other day of the school week, she has track. This was my chance. I can't do anything about it until next weekend."

"You still have tomorrow," Itsuki said quietly.

I stopped, my hand on the bar for the door. Turning back towards Itsuki, I frowned.

"That's... hmm. Actually, that's true. I do still have tomorrow. I'll ask her."

Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I typed out an e-mail to Yotsuba as Itsuki stood there watching me.

<Hey, I have something I wanted to talk to you about. Are you free tomorrow?>

Firing the email off, I stared down at it.

"I probably won't get a response for a while, though, I'm sure they're probably about to start their run," I said, shaking my head. "I'll keep you updated on if--"

My phone buzzed.

<Sorry, Uesugi-san, I have another track practice tomorrow. Eba-san announced it once we got here. I'm pretty annoyed about it.>

Flipping the phone around, I showed Itsuki, who lowered her head into her hands.

"What the hell is she thinking?" Itsuki groaned. "I know she wants-- ugh, never mind. Maybe you're right about having to wait. I'm going to give that girl a piece of my mind when she gets home."

"Don't," I muttered. "This is what she chose. She needs to live her own life, and she isn't responsible for my anxieties. I doubt she even realizes."

Itsuki frowned at me. "Well... maybe. You're being remarkably understanding about this. Apart from anything else, I would have thought you'd be more worried about the amount of study time she's missing."

"I am worried," I said, shaking my head and resting my hand on the bar to open the door. "I can't make these decisions for her, though. She needs to decide on her own priorities, and if I'm not-- I mean, if studying for the exam isn't a priority for her... I can't force it. I can't force her to do anything."

"Uesugi-kun..." Itsuki said softly, a note of worry entering her voice.

"Anyways, I've got to go," I said, pushing the bar and stepping out onto the street. "I'll see you on Monday, Itsuki. Thanks for walking me down."

Silently, she nodded -- and then I was striding down the street to the bus stop.

Alone.

Standing in the dark of a November night, the wind picking up, I looked up at the inky black sky. The stars were, for the most part, blotted out by the clouds that draped the heavens, visible only by the cast light of thousands upon thousands of street lamps. Shivering, I pulled my jacket in closer, waiting for the arrival of the bus to carry me home.

Anything to keep out the cold.

"You're not being understanding," I whispered to myself, my breath visible in the air in front of me, illuminated in its turbulent currents by the light from above. "You're just scared of her answer."

Coward.

Sunday came, and I didn't ask Yotsuba any questions. I didn't ask her about the night we had danced, and the way her eyes had looked as they reflected the twirling and swaying flame. The feel of her head on my chest, her soft fingers sliding through mine, interlocking and holding tight, promising in silent whispers to never let go. The sadness and guilt on her face, the finality of her voice.

On Sunday, I didn't ask her about any of those things.

Instead, the memories ran like wildfire through my mind, rough-shod, and I found that all my efforts to study were meaningless. I was consumed with thoughts of her.

So, I ate ice cream with Raiha instead.

It was chocolate mint.

Raiha won some sort of prize which meant she got another free ice cream. She promised to share with me when she got it.

On Monday, I once again didn't get a chance to talk with Yotsuba -- she was having lunch with her sisters, and I was left watching from afar.

Snap out of it. You're catastrophizing again.

I was so pre-occupied with my own thoughts, watching her from my usual spot, that I didn't notice there was someone standing over my table until there was a sudden clearing of the throat. Jerking back, I looked up to see Takeda standing with his tray, a single eyebrow raised.

"Might I join you, Uesugi-kun?" he asked, a smile resting lazily on his face.

"Ah... sure," I said, shaking my head and turning back to my tray of food. "Go ahead."

Takeda slipped into the seat opposite me, an assortment of goods on his tray. As I watched him, he picked up a bowl, and handed it to me.

"...What's this?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Tribute, my dear Uesugi-kun," he said, winking at me. "After all, I cannot ask your aid without providing recompense, no?"

I frowned. "If you word it like that, it makes me feel like I'm bullying you out of lunch."

"Hah! Hardly! 'Tis simply an exchange of goods. You give me knowledge. I give you karaage. Seems fair, does it not?"

"I... can't really argue against that logic," I murmured, pulling the bowl closer to me. "Thanks."

The karaage was delicious, and far more filling than the watery rice I had been eating. Glancing over, I saw that Takeda had begun digging into his own meal. Part of me wondered, quietly, if he'd picked up on my financial situation -- he had been the one to suggest lunch as compensation for my guidance in the first place.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"So," I said, munching on a piece of karaage. "Tell me about the session."

"It went rather well, if I do say so myself," Takeda beamed. "I did as you instructed -- I let them work on the problems, helping when I felt they'd given it an honest attempt, and exhausted their options. It seemed that Nakano Itsuki-san in particular was quite receptive to that method. Nakano Nino-san and Nakano Ichika-san were more resistive, but I think that probably would have been the case no matter what I tried."

"Probably," I frowned. "You didn't win any friends with your previous approach. Especially with Nino."

"Quite," Takeda said simply. "Ah well, I must simply work harder. I think I'll follow the advice you gave me at the bonfire -- to simply try to speak plainly with them. Perhaps then they will show their hearts to me."

"Uh... right."

I tensed up at the mention of the bonfire, and glanced back over at Yotsuba.

To my surprise, our eyes met-- and after a moment's hesitation, she gave me a wave. Tentatively, I waved back, and she gave me her signature wide, cheeky grin. As she went back to the discussion she was having with Ichika, I could feel warmth filling my chest, like embers suddenly given fresh life by the bellows of a forge.

I suddenly felt a lot better.

Have I always been this easy?

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," I said, turning back to Takeda. "Ultimately, your job is to get them to pass the exam. In order for that to happen, you need to face them honestly. So... good job on that. Sounds like you've got Itsuki on board at least."

"Yes, and Nakano Miku-san has also been moderately receptive as well. So, I'm hopeful we can make sufficient progress. That said, finals approach quickly. We'll have to work quite hard to make it there in time."

"Yeah," I said drily, my eyes wandering back over to Yotsuba, who was now gesturing wildly about something. "I'm very aware of that fact."

I need to work harder.

On my way back to the classroom after lunch, I shot Yotsuba an email.

<Lunch tomorrow?>

Her response was almost immediate.

<Of course! Also, do you want to study again this Saturday? I'm really sorry I bailed on you last time!>

I could feel a grin splitting my face.

<Of course.>

Putting my phone back into my pocket, I was humming as I walked into the classroom, still smiling like an idiot.

A day later, the source of my smile was sitting across the table from me, her head in her hands.

"What's the fundamental trigonometric identity?"

"Um... Sine squared plus cosine squared equals one?"

We were studying, once again, for the finals

"Correct. What's the Sine law?"

"Um... um... shoot, I don't remember!"

As always, mathematics was kicking her butt. Sighing, I gave her the answer and then jumped to the next flashcard. I could see that her food was going completely uneaten in her concentration, and eventually I shook my head and stowed the flashcards.

"Hey, wait-- I can keep going!" Yotsuba protested weakly.

"No," I replied firmly. "Knowing when to stop and take a break is an important skill. Driving yourself onward relentlessly is counterproductive -- burning out does nobody any favours. Nor does skipping meals."

A pout crossed Yotsuba's face, but eventually she acquiesced. As we dug into our respective lunches, I eyed her up. There was a weariness to the way she was carrying herself, to the way her shoulders sloped as she ate her food. I wondered if I was imagining it.

"Hey, Yotsuba," I said, putting down my bowl.

"Mmm?" she replied, looking up from her soup.

"Is it alright if I come watch your track practice again?"

Yotsuba finished sipping, and swallowed. Then, she tilted her head in thought.

"I mean, I don't see why not... assuming Eba-san is ok with it, of course. Won't you be bored, though?"

"No," I shrugged. "It's interesting, and makes for a nice change of pace."

Part of me wanted to add that I just wanted to spend more time with her -- that with her track meets and her sessions with Takeda, I'd been feeling like I wasn't spending nearly enough time in her company. That I missed her. Yet, that felt like a ludicrous thing to say when she was sitting right in front of me, and the words caught in my throat.

And so, they went unspoken.

"Well, in that case, I don't see why not!" she said, smiling at me.

And so, it came to pass that I found myself walking towards the track with Yotsuba at my side at the end of the day. On the way, Yotsuba had popped into a washroom to change quickly into her tracksuit, leaving me waiting patiently outside. As we approached the bleachers that ringed the long oval, I could see Eba standing with a hand on her thrust-out hip, an aura of irritation surrounding her.

I couldn't help but wonder how much of that was because she'd spotted me.

"Nakano-san," she said by way of greeting. "You're late again."

"Eh? I am?!" Yotsuba asked, jumping slightly at the aggressive opening, before bowing her head. "I'm deeply sorry, Eba-san!"

Eba's eyes of iron flitted away from Yotsuba onto me, and a distinct look of distaste crossed her face. Yet, I refused to look away, unblinkingly maintaining contact. I could feel her stony visage reflected in my own, as unyielding as forged steel.

I don't like her. At all.

Yet, even forged steel is not invulnerable, and eventually I blinked.

A slight smirk snuck across Eba's face, and my disregard for her deepened.

"So. You're here again," she said quietly, eyes narrowed.

"Yes," I replied. "Is that a problem?"

Eba paused for a moment, seeming to taste the words in her mouth before saying them. It was obvious what she was doing by dragging things out, by enforcing unyielding eye contact on me. I could see Yotsuba looking back and forth between us out of the corner of my eye, a worried expression on her face.

I wondered if she'd realized how blatantly Eba was trying to assert her dominance.

"Well, as a matter of fact, yes," Eba eventually purred. "It is."

The atmosphere of the track grew icy, as cold as the frozen steel in her eyes as she sized me up. I bit my lip, trying to silently gauge how far I could push things.

I shouldn't pick a fight with Yotsuba's captain.

My eye twitched.

I really shouldn't pick a fight with Yotsuba's captain.

"And what would that be?" I said as smoothly as I could, doing my best to not break eye contact. If anything, the smirk on her face widened.

"I've decided you're a distraction," Eba said, shaking her head. "You're going to cause problems for Nakano-san if you stay -- and so I'm exerting my authority as captain."

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Yotsuba to my right, and desperately wanted to look. Instead, however, I tilted my head slightly at Eba.

"Elaborate," I said, my voice unwavering.

The captain suddenly seemed a bit off-kilter, perhaps not expecting the response. She took a moment to recompose herself, and then her eyes narrowed.

"When you were here for the practice last week," Eba said softly, a hint of venom entering her voice, "I caught her glancing over at you instead of focusing multiple times. I can't have our star athlete distracted so regularly. So, I'm sorry, but-- you have to leave."

"Eba-san!" Yotsuba exclaimed indignantly, but Eba ignored her.

"I see," I said, finally breaking eye contact to glance over at Yotsuba. Her face was beet-red, clearly in equal parts from embarrassment and from indignation. Yet, as I looked at her, I could feel the expression on my face soften.

I can't hold her back.

"Well," I said softly, looking back at Eba. "If that's the case... I suppose I have to go."

"Uesugi-san, you don't have to--!"

"Yes, he does," Eba said, some of the bite gone from her words as she glanced over at Yotsuba. "I need you in peak form for this track meet -- and that means having you in peak form during practice."

"But--"

"Yotsuba," I said, shaking my head. "It's fine. I'll just see you later, ok?"

At my words, Yotsuba seemed to wilt slightly, her ribbon drooping... but then, after a moment, she rallied, and nodded sombrely. Turning back to Eba, I could feel my irritation rising again; but, I made an effort to suppress it. There was no point in fighting with her.

"Just don't make her over-do it," I spat, more venom in my voice than I'd intended. "I'm not having her fail the exams just because you decided that running was more important than school. You don't get to decide that -- only she does."

Ah-- I said too much. ...So much for suppressing it, I guess.

Before Eba could reply, I turned on my heels and started walking back to the school. Glancing back, I could see Yotsuba looking after me with a sad look on her face -- and I felt a pang of guilt. I raised my hand in farewell, and she returned the gesture before trotting after a furious-looking Eba.

Wandering back into the school, I felt... listless. As the adrenaline of my interaction with Eba wore off, there was a feeling of loss that flowed over me. I almost certainly wouldn't be able to attend any practices in the future now, which meant that her practices were time that was definitively closed off to me. I hadn't necessarily been welcomed the first time, but...

Did I make a misstep somewhere?

As the image of Eba's face reared in my mind, I shook my head.

No.

No, I hadn't.

What had happened was a product of Eba's possessiveness over her new star runner. Nothing more, and nothing less.

At least, that was what I told myself.

Wandering the halls, I thought back on what had happened since returning from the camping trip, and cursed my own inability to act. My own words, whispered to myself in the depths of the night came back to me... and I squared my shoulders. I could feel my wrought-iron willpower beginning to reassert itself. Refusing to let me run away any more.

I'm a lot of things... but I'm not a coward.

"On Saturday," I murmured. "I'll get my answers then."

Eventually, my wandering feet found their way to the library. Stopping in front, I adjusted my bag on my shoulder, and hesitated. I wasn't really in the mood to study -- yet my will, honed over years of forcing myself, refused to let me slack off due to something as pedestrian as loneliness.

One didn't reach the top of the year by giving up whenever there was adversity.

Gently sliding the door open, I walked over to my usual spot, determined to throw myself into my studies... only to find that it was already taken.

In shock, I slipped back behind the bookshelves, and peeked out.

Sitting shoulder-to-shoulder at the table, speaking quietly in the empty library, were Itsuki and Takeda.

Notes:

Happy New Years! Thank you to everyone who has read my fic in 2023, and I hope you'll stick with me in 2024! It's kind of crazy to think that, at this time last year, I was only just playing around with the basic premise of How We Met Again, with the first chapter not even having been written yet. Yet, here we are together, over 200k words later. It's amazing how time flies.

This chapter and the next were originally one, very long chapter -- but it was reaching the point of just being too much, despite how much I felt like it was thematically connected. When all was said and done, the chapter would have been well over 14k words. While that would have been fine for my other fic, that's not what I want for this story. As such, I decided to split them up. The next chapter will be posted in a week, give or take -- the second half requires a little more editing than the first.

Chapter 32: A Query in the Cold, Part Two

Chapter 32
A Query in the Cold
(Part Two)

"Ah, no, see-- the Ounin war is widely agreed to be the beginning of the Sengoku period, that's why it's included in the curriculum. Yet, it's not an umbrella term -- it is but one war within the Sengoku period. The two are hardly synonymous."

"Oh... hmm, right."

I shrunk further back behind the bookshelf where I had instinctively stepped to hide myself. My eyes narrowed as I peeked at the two of them sitting together, heads leaned in as they spoke. As Takeda continued explaining the beginnings of the Sengoku period to Itsuki, who was nodding along to his explanation, my head slowly tilted in confusion -- she looked tense, her shoulders hunched up as though shielding herself.

What the hell is this ?

Whatever it was, I wouldn't find out by hiding. Shaking my head, I stepped out from behind the bookshelf and approached the duo.

"Yo."

Both jumped at my greeting, and turned to look at me. Itsuki's face flushed, while Takeda simply beamed at me.

"Ah, Uesugi-kun! Why, you surprised me! Pray tell, what brings you here?"

"This is my usual studying spot," I said, my eyes lingering on Itsuki as I spoke. I hoped she could read the psychic message I was trying to burn into her with my eyes. It was simple enough, after all, readily understandable from my face.

Why didn't you tell me?!

Maybe Itsuki understood, because she looked away from me and whistled softly. I could tell she was embarrassed. Rolling my eyes, I re-adjusted my bag on my shoulder.

"Do you mind if I join you?" I asked carefully, glancing back and forth between Takeda's eager face and the back of Itsuki's head, the red hair tumbling down over her shoulders doing an adequate job of hiding her face from me.

"If Nakano-san has no objections," Takeda nodded. Itsuki was silent for a moment, before quietly muttering her assent. As I sat across the table from them, I could feel a smirk creeping its way onto my face.

Don't make fun of her. Don't make fun of her. Don't make fun of he--

"So, Itsuki... what's this about?" I asked, trying desperately to restrain the full-on grin that was threatening to break out over my face.

I could see her start at my question.

"W-Why, Uesugi-kun, I have no idea what you're talking about," Itsuki said, turning to look at me with a pained look on her face. "Is it that weird that I'm getting help from my tutor?"

"Yes," I said honestly. "Extremely yes."

Itsuki blanched, and then lowered her head into trembling hands.

"I-- ok, fine, fair enough," she eventually sighed. "I'll tell you."

I waited. Itsuki raised her head, and then looked away from me, her face strained.

"Uh... After the session on Thursday, I mentioned to Takeda-san that my individual studying wasn't going very well, and... he offered to help me outside of our tutoring sessions."

"I see, I see," I said, stroking my chin. "So is that why you were being so shifty on Saturday? Because you were going on a tryst with--"

"Don't," Itsuki said flatly, turning back to glare at me. "Of all people... you don't get to make that kind of joke, Uesugi-kun."

"Wait, what? Why not?!"

"Mr. 'Love-is-stupid-and-for-people-who-peaked-in-high-school', who's currently completely consumed in his own drama, doesn't get to make dumb jokes about a completely innocent meeting between a girl and her tutor!"

"...Duly noted. My bad." I said as I bowed my head, suitably chastized.

Itsuki seemed to relax at my words, and I made a mental note to hold off on teasing her about the subject. It seemed like a sore point.

Takeda was glancing back and forth between us, a confused look on his face. I shook my head at him, and he shrugged at me. Itsuki didn't seem to notice the exchange.

"Anyways," I said, grabbing my bag off the floor. "Don't let me interfere. Please, continue -- I have my own studying to do anyways."

After a moment's pause, Takeda nodded, and continued his explication to Itsuki on the Sengoku period. At first, the explanation had been punctuated by her awkwardly glancing at me every few seconds -- but eventually, she had fallen back into the flow of things, and seemingly more or less forgotten I was there.

It was my first time seeing Takeda's tutoring. Every description I'd received before had been second-hand; either from one of the quintuplets, or from Takeda himself. Quietly listening as he explained things to Itsuki, I could see a few flaws in his methodology-- that said, it was definitely improved compared to what I'd heard from Itsuki in the weeks before the camping trip.

Somehow, seeing the signs of his improvement gave me heart -- a sliver of faith that at least some of Yotsuba's study time wasn't being entirely wasted.

It was obvious that Itsuki wasn't yet entirely comfortable receiving individual tutoring from Takeda -- though her body language seemed more relaxed than it had when I'd been peeking on them earlier. As I opened my own textbooks and began to study, I occasionally glanced up to see her actively engaging in the session; asking questions, trying to make things click for herself.

Answering practice questions.

Then, answering more questions.

Then, even more.

I guess he took the thing about getting them to answer questions to heart.

That thought brought a slight smile to my face.

Eventually, it grew late, the light through the small windows at the top of the library's walls beginning to fade, and the two of them decided to wrap up the tutoring session. As Takeda rose, I raised a hand, and he glanced over at me.

"Do you want some feedback?" I asked.

Takeda pursed his lips, and glanced over at Itsuki, who was rummaging through her bag. She looked up at him, looked at me, then shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't mind me," she said, before looking back down at her bag. "Besides, I might like to hear it too."

After a moment to process her words, a frown crossed Takeda's face. Eventually, though, he turned back at me, and nodded. "Please."

"Right," I said, furrowing my brow. "First off, I appreciate that you've taken seriously my advice about getting your students into hands-on practice as quickly as possible. I can already see just from watching that it's paying dividends. In particular, I liked that you let Itsuki guide the pace of the session, rather than dictating it yourself."

Takeda nodded, a pleased look crossing his face.

"That said, it feels as though you may have swung too far the other way."

The smile vanished.

"What I mean by that," I elaborated, "is that you may have taken your hands off the wheel a bit too much. While it's good that you're giving your students space to guide the session, you need to remember that you're still the tutor for a reason. The macroscopics are in your control -- overall pacing of the sessions, the syllabus... those sorts of things. You need to strike a balance, and it felt as though things have gone a bit too far in the other direction."

I could see Takeda deflating by the second, and I was struck by a pang of guilt.

"That said, over-correcting is pretty normal. Don't worry about it. You've improved in leaps and bounds, and I'm sure things will only get better from here."

"...Right," Takeda said softly, glancing away. There was a look on his face that was a bit difficult to read -- a mixture of frustration, pride, and a bit of bitterness. He didn't seem angry, though.

It's frustrating to not be perfect. I would know.

"You know, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki piped up, zipping her bag shut and standing up, "for someone who despises the idea of being a tutor, you seem to know a lot about it."

My eyes widened. "No, I-- That's not what this is, I--"

Itsuki raised an eyebrow at me, and after a few more moments of stumbling over my words, I fell silent. A quiet seeped into the room, filling the air between the three of us. Eventually, I looked away from her, my vision trained on nothing in particular.

"I had a good example to learn from," I murmured.

Itsuki was quiet for a long moment, her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. Yet, I didn't say anything else, and eventually she shook her head and left. Takeda went with her, finally leaving me alone in the library. As the door slid shut out of view, the sound echoing through the room, I hunched up in my chair, drawing my legs up close. Staring down at my textbook, I could feel my lips purse.

There was an ugly feeling in my chest. A constriction. Acidic, and unwanted.

Something in the cage, something deep within, was laughing.

Mocking.

Shaking my head, I returned to studying, my mood soured. Unabated, I drove on until eventually getting an email from Raiha telling me to come home; packing up my bags, I left the library in a foul mood, memories forced away at the steel tip of a sword.

The next day, Wednesday, I once again didn't see Yotsuba at all -- including at lunch. As I looked over at the quintuplets' table from afar, I could see that she was missing; what she was doing or where she was, though, I had no clue. Returning to my food and my flashcards, I had wordlessly stared at the empty chair across from me.

The silence amidst the miasma of chatter was deafening.

Thursday.

Thursday, there was rain.

Walking past the streak-stained windows, I had glanced out at the empty track in the distance, not yet being used -- and had wondered to myself if Eba was the sort of captain who would make her athletes train no matter the conditions. Who would send them out in the rain or snow just as readily as the sun. All for the love of running.

While I could understand intellectually, emotionally I knew it was something I couldn't grasp.

Yet another reason I don't play sports.

Entering the cafeteria and getting my food, I strode past the table of quints, greeting them quietly as I went. Yotsuba was once again absent -- but this time, it was because she was already at our table, her tray set out before her, and her head pressed down on the cool linoleum. Pausing for a second, I tilted my head as I assessed her.

Then, sliding into the seat across from her, I reached across and flicked her ribbons.

"Hmmmm..." Yotsuba murmured, her voice dreary. "...Uesugi-san?"

"Hey," I said, leaning my head on one hand and gazing at her. "Good morning."

"Mmm... wasn't asleep," she muttered, rising up slightly to look at me.

Her bleary eyes told a different story. There were the barest hints of shadows beginning to form underneath, and I silently wondered to myself how much sleep she'd been getting.

"Yeah?" I said, flicking her ribbon again. "Could have fooled me."

"Uesugi-saaaaaaan," she whined. "Stop it..."

I couldn't help but smile. Pulling my hand back, I straightened up and rolled my shoulders. Yotsuba was still splayed out on the table, looking up at me from the ensconcement she'd created with her arms, a tiny fortress in the middle of the cafeteria.

"So, how was the practice after I left?" I asked. Yotsuba sat up, and poked at her food.

"Rough," she said, shaking her head. "Eba-san was pretty angry the whole time."

"Sorry," I said, a pang of guilt in my chest.

"Not your fault. I was upset at her too."

I raised an eyebrow, and Yotsuba uncharacteristically glowered. For a moment, she looked almost exactly like Itsuki. I normally didn't think much about the fact they were all identical, not having really considered it since Miku had tricked me on the school trip. In moments like these, though, I was starkly reminded.

"She didn't need to kick you out like that," Yotsuba muttered, lowering her chin back down into her arms again. "It wasn't nice."

"It was fine," I sighed. "She's the captain, she can do what she wants."

"I guess so," Yotsuba said, pouting. "It doesn't mean I have to like it."

"True," I replied amicably. "That said... I'm happy you're upset on my behalf. Really."

Her face reddening slightly, Yotsuba managed to smile at me. Despite her obvious exhaustion, as evidenced by every ounce of her body language, her smiling at me made my chest feel lighter, regardless of my worry. I returned the gesture, and she seemed to brighten even more.

"Ehehehe. Of course I'd be upset if someone treated you like that, Uesugi-san!" she laughed sheepishly. "People need to be nice to my Uesugi-san!"

"Your Uesugi-san, huh?" I said, my cheeks and ears suddenly growing hot.

Yotsuba froze-- and her eyes widened. Rearing back, arms flailing in front of her, she began vehemently shaking her head.

"No-- No, no no no! I-- I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that people should be nice to you! That's not how I-- oh no!"

"It's fine, Yotsuba, I'm just teasing you," I said, reaching over and bonking her gently on the head, my face still warm. "Relax."

"Geez," she pouted, an excellent imitation of her younger sister. "You're being mean, Uesugi-san!"

"Sorry, sorry."

At that, we both laughed, embarrassed yet companionable laughs. Yet, even as we did, there was a voice from deep within the cage, whispering. A quiet, melodious murmur, one at odds with the raging beast that had oft attacked the bars. It was ever-changing, a phantasmagoric quality to its tone.

What if she did mean it like that?

Wrought iron and frigid steel clamped down, sealing the offending emotion, the wayward thought, deep within the depths. Another padlock, another deadbolt. Another means of desperately preventing escape.

Another means of repressing what was within the cage.

Of course she didn't.

"Uesugi-san?"

I snapped to attention.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "I wasn't listening. What did you say?"

"I said that Eba-san wanted to add another permanent training session on Sundays."

"Excuse me-- what?" I snarled. "I can't believe that girl."

"I was super, super against it," Yotsuba said, nodding. "Luckily, she seems to have backed down. I don't think she expected me to say anything about it. Maybe I wouldn't have, if I wasn't already upset from her making you leave."

"Good," I scowled. "Keep standing up for yourself. Honestly, the nerve of her..."

"What I'm really hoping for," Yotsuba said, smiling, "is to take the Tuesday session, and move it to Sunday. That way, we can study together on Tuesdays again!"

I stopped short. I was pouring too much energy into being irritated with Eba.

Acknowledge the effort in front of you, Fuutarou.

"Yeah, you mentioned that before," I said softly. "Thank you."

"I'm trying my best," she said, shaking her head. "I think I might be able to convince Eba-san now. That's all I can do, right? I committed to doing this, after all."

"Yep."

There was a moment of companionable silence between us, and my eyes searched hers. There were myriad emotions on Yotsuba's face -- exhaustion was one of them, a touch of frustration as well... but there was warmth, too. I couldn't help but smile.

"Well then, let's keep doing our best," I said, shaking my head. "You're going to kick ass in this track meet and pass the exams."

"Yeah!" Yotsuba said, pumping her fist. "I've got this -- have no fear, Uesugi-san! I promise, I'm still studying tons. I'm not going to give up!"

"Good. So then... do you remember the equation relating the frequency and wavelength of a wave to its speed?"

"Uhhhhh..."

As the bell rang thirty minutes later, and we began packing up, I glanced over at Yotsuba, and tilted my head. "Are you still free to study together again on Saturday? No last-minute track surprises?"

"Yes, absolutely! Let's meet at the same time as last week, ok?"

"Sure," I smiled. "Sounds good."

I loaded my bag onto my shoulder, and began walking away, but then Yotsuba stopped me.

"Uesugi-san?"

"Mmm?" I asked, glancing back at her.

"I just remembered -- you mentioned on Saturday that you had something you wanted to ask me?"

I froze for a moment, caught off-guard-- and then my brain kicked in, and I shook my head as I looked around at the myriad students surrounding us.

"We don't have time now. It can wait until another time."

"Oh... Ok then!"

Yotsuba bounded off. Leaving for my own classroom, I felt as though Itsuki's eyes were boring a hole through my skull, her judgement lending fire to her gaze... yet when I glanced back at the quint table, she wasn't even there. In fact, none of them were -- they'd all already left.

I'm delusional now, apparently.

The next day was Friday. I didn't talk to Yotsuba at all.

Lunch was a solitary affair. My eyes kept being drawn away from my notes, and my food, and my flashcards -- always to the same spot. The empty chair across from me. Takeda had eventually come to debrief with me about his session the previous evening, but he couldn't remotely fill the space that Yotsuba usually occupied.

Though, the amount of noise he made definitely could.

The day bled into early evening, and I was in the library on my own once again. Empty, the only sounds the ticking of the clock and the scratching of pencil on paper. The time when Raiha would normally call me home was fast approaching... but I was restless. As though my iron focus, so long honed and sharpened on the whetstone of study, was suddenly dulled and useless -- it was all I could do to drive myself to work for short spans of a few minutes at a time.

Eventually, cursing to myself, I was forced to give up.

Well, that was a pathetic display.

Packing my textbooks away in disgruntlement, I left the library and walked through the school hallways. The sun was already on the verge of setting, its refracted rays cutting through the sky and painting the clouds crimson. As I passed a window, I looked out on the track-- and saw that they were still there, their distinctive red tracksuits cutting a stark image against the aura of dusk.

They were doing timed dashes. I couldn't make out all the details, but I could see that the runner lined up at the starting line had long, midnight black hair tied in a ponytail flowing behind her. Coupled with her lightning speed as she took off, I could easily tell it was Eba.

A bubbling morass of irritation stirred in my chest, but I forced it down.

Why is this upsetting me so much?

The focus of my gaze shifted, my pupils accommodating to bring it in near. My own reflection in the window, visibility heightened by the dying light outside contrasted with the fluorescence in the ceiling above.

The look on my face was one I'd seen before -- but not on my own face. It was a look that I couldn't accept. It was absolutely ludicrous, almost laughably so.

Am I... jealous?

Feeling disturbed and unsure, I turned away from the echo of Yotsuba's unreadable expression, and kept walking.

On Saturday morning, the weather had once again taken a turn for the worse, temperatures dropping overnight to only a few degrees above freezing. It was as though the wind and the air were heralding the slow approach of December, and of the finals, only a handful of weeks away. When I had risen in the morning, there had been frost on the apartment window, though it had quickly dissipated with the rising of the morning sun. As the time finally came to depart for the Nakano apartment, I made sure to wear additional layers beneath my tightly-wrapped jacket.

"Good luck, Onii-chan!"

Stepping off the bus, I pressed the buzzer for the Pentagon suites, and was soon up on the thirtieth floor removing my coat and my shoes. The apartment felt empty, somehow -- Ichika had left for work long before my arrival, and Itsuki had left shortly after I settled on the couch. Miku was holed up in her room as well, and so I would have been entirely alone with Yotsuba-- were it not for Nino, who was sitting at the table reading a fashion magazine and doing her nails.

I couldn't blame her: it was her own home, after all. That said, I couldn't help finding it a bit frustrating. There was no way in hell I was letting Nino find out about the things I wanted to ask Yotsuba.

"What's the function of -ly words in English?"

Yotsuba scrunched up her face -- she was neither particularly skilled nor weak in English, but it was an area which couldn't be neglected.

"Are they... adjectives?"

"Wrong, on two fronts. One, I asked what their function is, not what category they fall into. Two, they're not adjectives."

Frowning again, Yotsuba scratched her chin.

"Um... hmm... oh! Adverbs!"

"That's still not their function, but I guess I'll accept it," I sighed. "They modify a verb, which does make them adverbs."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Just because you know the word 'adverb'," I scowled, "doesn't mean you remember what an adverb actually is."

Yotsuba pondered that for a second, before pumping her fist against her outspread palm.

"I see!"

"Do you?" I asked drily.

"Yes! Ok, I think I understand this passage now. 'He swiftly cut his way through the forest', I think it means... hmm..."

I returned to my own studies as Yotsuba, shoulder centimetres from mine, pondered over her own. There was something easy about the way we just existed together, a common sense of companionship. When we were studying together, my worries about where we stood, about her thoughts, about everything just faded away. There was only myself, her, and the mutual barrier in our way -- the exam.

I've missed this.

Cricking my neck, I stared down at the page in front of me... and felt a smile creeping across my face.

"Ugh, Uesugi, your smile is creepy. Stop it."

I looked over to see Nino was standing next to the television, an open drawer next to her, and was glowering at me.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, Nino," I scowled, turning back to my textbook. "Also, stop staring at my lips."

"Wha-- I-- no! That's not--"

Snorting, I shook my head and turned to look at Yotsuba; to my surprise, she had her hand over her mouth, and seemed to be trying not to laugh. Eventually, she broke, and started cackling.

"It wasn't that funny," I said, bemused.

"Sorry, sorry," she wheezed, wiping a tear away. "But-- you, of all people, making that kind of joke? It just hit my funny bone, y'know?"

I looked over at Nino, who looked just as confused as I felt... though I noticed with mild surprise that her cheeks were bright red. For a moment, I wondered in passing if she actually had been staring at my lips -- then I realized she had just been embarrassed.

"I'll... try to refrain in the future?" I said hesitantly, slowly raising an eyebrow.

"No, no no no," Yotsuba said, shaking her head. "It was hilarious, please keep doing it. I want it on film next time."

"Well, now I'm definitely not going to."

Rolling my eyes, I returned to my studying as Yotsuba pouted at me. Nino muttered something highly uncomplimentary under her breath and returned to whatever she'd been doing by the TV. I could somewhat empathize; she'd unwittingly been turned into the butt of a joke.

Not that I fully grasped what, exactly, Yotsuba found so funny about the situation.

I'm missing something.

I was encouraged by what I was seeing from Yotsuba. I wasn't totally sure how, but the backsliding I'd seen the week before had been stymied, and she was making progress, albeit slower than I might have liked. I considered that it may have been due to her sessions with Takeda and his improved pedagogy... but something struck me as being off about that. It wasn't enough. As I watched her work, her pencil flicking across the page in front of her, I started to pick up on small details. The slump of her shoulders. The way her ribbon gently swayed as she worked. The tension in her face, in the corner of her lips.

There was an answer there, lurking just out of grasp.

Irritated, I shook my head.

I'll figure it out soon enough.

As the sun set outside the great glass window, the front door opened, and an exhausted-looking Itsuki entered the room. Seeing me, she perked up slightly, and came to crash on the couch next to me.

"Hey," I said, nodding at her. "You look beat."

"I just... studied very hard," she groaned, her hands covering her eyes to block the light. I wondered if she had some kind of migraine. "He's also still hard to be around sometimes."

"He?" Yotsuba asked, looking over at us.

I glanced over at Itsuki, who seemed too tired to care that her secret had been exposed -- perhaps if she'd been more awake, she'd have been embarrassed. As it was, she just groaned and put her hand over her face.

"Takeda-san offered to help me with my individual studying outside his tutoring hours," she muttered, sitting up and shaking her head. "I don't know why I didn't just say something; I guess I was embarrassed that I needed the extra help. Uesugi-kun already caught me though, so..."

"A-ha! I see, I see," Yotsuba said, stroking her chin. "So is that why you were being so shifty on Saturday? Because you were going on a tryst with--"

"Not you too!" Itsuki cried, whipping to look at Yotsuba. "Uesugi-kun made the exact same joke!"

"Oh," Yotsuba said, looking over at me. There was a second's pause, and then she raised her fist and extended it to me. "Nice."

Chuckling, I returned the gesture, bumping fists with her. Our eyes met for a brief moment, holding one another through the contact. There was a light of amusement there, a flame of emotion that always brought a smile to my face. Then, the connection was broken, and I looked away.

Somewhere in the distance, I thought I heard the sound of Nino retching dramatically.

I ignored it.

Eventually, the sun long-since set, Yotsuba and I were working on Japanese language arts when Nino came over and leaned over the couch that was perpendicular to us, one elbow pressed down so she could support her head with her hand, long hair falling in rivulets about her arm and onto the couch, the ribbons tied in her hair scarcely visible.

"So," she said, looking directly at me with her piercing gaze. "Are you staying for dinner?"

I suddenly felt exposed -- as though I was under assault from her direct stare, the aggression hidden therein. Yet, mustering my courage, I squared my shoulders and returned her gaze.

"If you'll have me, then yes," I replied, bowing my head. "Thanks."

"Like I said before," Nino said, rolling her eyes as she stood back up. "It's no trouble to cook an extra portion."

This time, I definitely saw a smile cross her face as she returned to the kitchen -- and an absolutely insane thought crossed my mind.

Was she mad at me on the camping trip... because I started bringing a bento to not eat her food?

Watching her for a moment as she began to work, I shook my head.

No, not a chance. She's just always been the queen of mixed signals. I'm sure it wasn't that -- no point overthinking her.

As I turned to look back at my textbook, I caught a glance of Yotsuba's face, itself in the midst of turning away from me. A brief image of her eyes, piercing blue against the red of her hair, a window into her thoughts.

Yet, once again, the inscrutable look was there, the morass of emotion that sometimes clung to her face like oil.

Unprompted, I remembered the view of the track from the previous day -- and the reflection of my own face that had been there.

Troubled, I looked away.

Dinner was a straightforward affair. Nino had baked a lemon salmon with chives and capers. As I ate, my mouth rejoiced -- even if my poor man's palette wasn't enough to appreciate all of the subtleties contained within, it was enough to know that what I was eating was superb. Once again, I couldn't help but silently sing her cooking praises, and wonder if Raiha would one day be able to cook at such an advanced level.

"Uesugi-san? You... you look like you're tearing up! Is everything ok?!"

"I'm not, Yotsuba. This food is just that good," I groaned, putting another bite in my mouth. "I'm impressed as always, Nino."

"I'm not cooking for your approval," Nino scowled -- though I couldn't help but notice that she seemed pleased with herself as I finished the rest of my food. I got up to put my plate in the dishwasher, but she rose first and grabbed it out of my hands.

"You're still a guest," she grumbled in response to my querying look. "Sit back down."

"Oh... ok," I said, lowering myself back down into my chair. Glancing over at Yotsuba, I could see that same mixture of emotions on her face for half a moment -- and then she picked up her own plate and walked over to the dishwasher. As she went, I thought I saw her shaking her head, but I had no clue what that meant.

After dinner, we got some more studying done -- but eventually, it grew late, and I needed to go home. As I threw on my coat, Yotsuba was on the couch on her phone, and Nino was back to reading her fashion magazine, legs crossed on the other couch. Itsuki was still at the table, but as I looked at Yotsuba with her head down, my emotions and uncertainties finally returning at full force, I could feel her eyes on me.

Chastizing me.

I need to take this opportunity. I promised myself I would.

I promised I would ask her about... everything.

"Yotsuba."

Yotsuba looked up from her phone... and turned to look over her shoulder to where Itsuki had called her from the table.

"Hmm?"

"Shouldn't you walk Uesugi-kun down to the bus?"

There was a moment's pause... and then Yotsuba's eyes widened and she scrambled to her feet.

"O-Oh shoot, sorry! My bad, Uesugi-san! I've just been a bit out of it, and I-- oops!"

"It's fine," I said with an amused look on my face. "I mean, I can find my own way there at this point -- but I appreciate the company."

"Give me a moment to get my coat on!"

As Yotsuba hurried over and began putting on her shoes, I glanced over at Itsuki, who had a smug smirk plastered on her face. As she noticed my gaze, she glanced at Nino, who wasn't paying attention, and then gave me a thumbs up.

Tentatively, I returned the gesture, something which she apparently found silently hilarious.

Turning back around, I saw Yotsuba rise to her feet and grab her coat off the rack. Grinning sheepishly, she opened the door, and stepped out into the hall.

"Bye, Itsuki, Nino," I said, waving as I stepped out. "Say goodbye to Ichika and Miku for me please!"

Itsuki waved, while Nino just hmphed and turned away. Rolling my eyes, I closed the door, and followed Yotsuba to the elevator.

And then, finally, finally, we were entirely alone.

"Hey, Uesugi-san," she said as the doors slid shut and we began to descend. "Do you think I stand a chance on the final?"

I paused to think, turning the question over in my mind. Then, biting my lip, I shrugged.

"It's hard to say, to be honest. I'm not there during your sessions with Takeda, and we haven't been studying together through the week, so I can't judge that well. It seems like you're doing alright -- there was some backsliding before, but you've mostly dealt with that now from what I've gathered."

"Hmm," Yotsuba murmured, glancing down at the ground. "Looks like I've got some more work to do then, since you aren't confident about it..."

Glancing back over at her, it almost looked like she was pouting. Yet, as my eyes traced the contours of her face, I wondered if that was actually the case -- or if there was more depth to the simple expression on her face. It was impossible to tell, in the absence of the ability to probe her mind.

"Tell me about your track practices," I said softly.

Yotsuba looked up sharply, and glanced over at me. Her lips seemed to harden for a moment... and then they softened as a gentle smile slipped over her face.

"Well... hmm, where should I start?"

"Wherever you'd like," I murmured, my eyes on hers.

"Well, Eba-san is a real hard-ass!" Yotsuba complained, her hands on her hips. "At the start of every session, she gives us a lecture about dedication and perseverance and... oh, what was the word? I don't remember now. Anyways, she gives us a lecture, and then she makes us run around the track ten times as a warm-up. I actually really like that part, but..."

As Yotsuba described her track practice, going into more and more intricate detail as she grew deeper and deeper into explaining her routine, I found myself enraptured by her face.

I was listening, drinking in her words, and yet I was also drawn in by her eyes, and the fiery passion that had appeared in them. She talked with her hands, sound effects sometimes replacing descriptions, words insufficiently explaining the sensations her body felt when she ran.

This is what she was meant to do.

The thought struck me out of the blue, but it didn't come with the usual cocktail of tempestuous emotions that had accompanied the idea in recent weeks. Instead, it was a simple thing: an observation, nothing more.

I had often wondered where I stood in this new paradigm, where there was room for me in Yotsuba's life. With track and tutoring, my corner of her world had seemed to shrink and shrink.

Those questions, seeing the light in her eyes, were far from my mind now.

As the elevator door slid open, and we stepped out into the marble-clad lobby, Yotsuba was describing the exact technique she'd been taught for the relay, handing off the baton. As I leaned against the bar for the front door, she grinned sheepishly at me.

"Sorry, this is a lot of information all at once, isn't it Uesugi-san? I'm kind of babbling here..."

I shrugged, pushing the door open. "No, I'm enjoying listening to you. I like hearing you talk."

Yotsuba's cheeks were suddenly dusted in pink, and she scratched her cheek.

"I... I see..."

Stepping out into the cold, I took a deep breath. The air was frigid, a reminder of December's rapid approach, and of the time we didn't have. Of how, soon, the finals would be upon us, as well as Yotsuba's track meet. Glancing back, I saw Yotsuba pull her coat tightly around her shoulders as she followed me -- but she smiled cheekily at me.

"Shi shi shi-- you're looking a little chilly there, Uesugi-san! Do you need me to warm you up?"

I could feel my face heating up, and I looked away from her, my hand unconsciously rising to my bangs and fiddling with them.

"Um... no, I'm fine. Thanks, though."

"Hmm, ok... make sure you warm up properly when you get home, though! The nights are getting pretty cold."

Glancing back over at her, I felt my left hand twitch -- a phantom feeling of warmth, the echo of her fingers in mine, intertwined and locked. Unwillingly, a shiver went down my spine which had nothing to do with the cold.

Silently, I wondered what she would have done if I'd accepted her offer.

Shaking my head, I began walking towards the bus stop, Yotsuba trotting along behind me.

As we went, I glanced up at the sky above. It was clearing, pockets of night sky visible amidst the cloud cover. The cast light of thousands of street lamps blotted out many of the stars -- but enough remained to make out the brightest. Still, silent, countless millennia old. They had seen many pass before them.

Somehow, the thought of their constancy gave me a feeling of courage. Closing my eyes, I could hear a voice in my head, echoing as clearly as if it was being spoken aloud.

Don't drag this out, Uesugi-kun.

Every instinct I had was screaming at me to stay silent. To let things stay as they were -- to prevent this uneasy equilibrium in which we found ourselves from fracturing. To allow what had happened to just slip into the past, and move on. To silently support from the side, and to not worry about such troubling things as what she'd been feeling, or why she'd grabbed my hand, or what she thought of--

I swallowed.

A breath, visible in the cold night's air.

Then, a turn, spinning on the spot a mere pace from the bus stop, to face her. Taking in her entirety, I could feel my voice catch in my throat. Her hair, flowing in streams about her hair, dancing and twirling in gorgeous red trails. Her ribbon, hastily tied, standing above her head. The coat that hung over her shoulders, partially opened now at the front to reveal the casual clothes she'd worn as we studied. The curve of her hips, hidden in part by the thick winter's fabric that was all that separated her from the cold.

Deep in my chest, the beast roared in its cage, awoken from its short slumber.

Yet, for now at least, the bars held.

"Yotsuba."

A susurration, whispers in the depths of my mind. Conflicting voices calling to me -- both of them I recognized. One calling me forward, to action. Calling me to speak. The other demanding my resignation, my retreat. My silence.

One was Itsuki's. The other...

Yotsuba tilted her head at me, a questioning look on her face.

Moment of truth.

"I have something I need to ask you," I said.

She frowned at me. "Oh yeah, you mentioned that last week. What's up?"

"It's about the bonfire. On the camping trip."

It was night and day.

The change that passed through Yotsuba in the blink of an eye was as light and shadow, a harsh dividing line between the casual ease with which she'd been carrying herself, and the sudden tension that shot through her body. Before, she had been as a house cat lazing in a sunbeam; unbothered, relaxed. Now, she was a deer caught in headlights, her eyes wide and a slight tremor coursing through her.

She looked as though she were about to bolt.

For a moment, I wondered if I should pull back. To divert things. To return to the peaceful calm we'd just had. To the stillness of the night, under the ever-watching stars.

But, it was too late for that. It was too late to turn back.

"During the dance," I whispered, my voice quieting without my realizing it, "there were... some things that happened. Things that confused me."

Yotsuba was silent, her eyes wordlessly locked onto mine, unmoving.

"When we first started to dance, when I asked you if you wanted to... you seemed really happy. I think I can understand that. But then... things changed. The look on your face changed."

"Uesugi-san," she murmured. "Stop..."

"You seemed like you felt guilty," I said, pressing on, the volume of my voice rising slightly. "Like you were doing something wrong, or that you were upset. I didn't understand what changed."

Yotsuba started shaking her head.

"Then..." I said, my hands plunged into my coat pockets almost a ritual to calm myself -- to give my hands something to hold, to give myself something solid to grasp. "Then you suddenly grabbed my hand during the fireworks after that. Out of nowhere. I... I didn't understand why. I don't..."

"Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said more sharply. "Stop."

I looked at her, and I could see that she was shaking.

"I want to know why."

Yotsuba was looking at me, and it was clear she was fighting back tears -- but I didn't know why. Her hands were trembling, a reflection of her lower lip. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen the look on her face before; not from something I'd said or done, at any rate. I could feel my chest constricting, the slimy twin feelings of fear and anxiety slithering their way around my gut, ascending my spine towards my heart.

"I can't know things unless you tell me," I murmured finally. "So... please."

Yotsuba stood there silently, the redness in her cheeks a product of the cold as much as the emotion welling up within her eyes. The look on her face was one that had been seared into my mind weeks before -- the same desperate, guilty look that had donned her face in the dying moments of the dance, the sterile light of the streetlamp filling the absent role of the roaring, living fire.

I hated that look.

The silence stretched between us, thick and impregnable. As though no words could possibly fill the distance that had erupted between us in a matter of seconds.

Yet, eventually, it was broken.

First, by the sounds of rustling as Yotsuba began to shake her head.

Then, the almost sub-audible sound of her breathing.

Finally, her mouth moving, breaking the silence as gently as a feather falling on a still pond -- a ripple nevertheless disturbing the serene surface.

"I can't," she whispered, her voice small. "I can't answer you."

"Why?"

Yotsuba shook her head. "It would... I just... I can't. I promised that... no. I'm sorry, Uesugi-san."

I took a deep breath, a calming breath. An attempt to steady myself, to right the ship that was my emotions. To try and combat the swirling winds blowing me far, far off-course.

"Ok, you won't tell me. That's fine. If... if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," I said, looking away. "You don't have to tell me -- I won't try and force it."

There was a constricting feeling in my chest, wrapping around my heart and binding it.

I knew it. I knew it. I told Itsuki that she wouldn't tell me.

She won't let me in.

"But..." I said slowly, turning back to her, my eyes locking with hers. "I do want to know why you won't tell me. Is it... do you just not trust me enough to know? Or... is there some other reason?"

Yotsuba violently shook her head again, biting her lip. "No! No, it's not that. I-- I--"

She looked on the verge of tears -- and that fact was made all the more apparent by the sudden flare of light that illuminated her as the bus rounded the corner. The lighting reflecting off her hair, the red in her cheeks, the watery layer at the bottom of her eyes. The bunching of her fists, the slight shiver of her shoulders. Then, the reaction as she covered her face from the light.

The constricting feeling in my chest grew stronger.

"I need to go," I said softly. "I'm..."

The words caught in my throat.

Yotsuba just looked away from me, and then nodded sharply once.

The bus pulled up, and I stepped on. Glancing back, I saw Yotsuba looking after me.

"I'll see you on Monday," I said.

Another nod.

The constricting feeling in my chest grew more intense. I wandered my way to my seat, and looked out the window to see that Yotsuba was already walking back to the Pentagon, her hands shoved in her pockets. I turned to look forward, and bit my lip hard. There was a new uncomfortable feeling in my chest, and my face. An unsteady feeling. I didn't like it.

Did I make a mistake? Did I...

I shook my head. This needed to happen. I couldn't keep running away from this...

As the bus began to pull forward, I sighed and put my head in my hands.

"Great... now what do I do?"

The sensations I was feeling were on the verge of overwhelming me -- anxiety, fear, guilt. Yet, there was a piece of me that refused to settle. As streetlights swung by, as I stared out into the dark void of the night, there was a voice growing stronger and stronger in my mind that outweighed all of the other things, chastizing me. Demanding that I take another step. That I hadn't done enough.

That I couldn't let things stay like this.

You're not a coward.

When I arrived home, I had my bath, and got ready for bed, followed shortly thereafter by Raiha and my dad. Yet, as I lay in my futon, I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning, the nagging at the edge of my consciousness refusing to let me rest. Eventually, I sat up and growled in frustration.

"God damn it," I muttered, and picked up my phone.

Then, I sent an e-mail to Yotsuba.

<Are you awake?>

I put the phone down, and lowered my head into my hands, breathing softly. A minute later, there was a buzz, and I looked down to see Yotsuba's monosyllabic response.

<Yes.>

Swallowing, I bit my lip. Then I typed another email.

<Can I call?>

Closing the old flip phone and putting it heavily down on the tatami mats, I stared up at the ceiling clad in darkness. It was, as ever, occasionally illuminated by cars driving by outside, light cast by their wandering headlamps throwing the shadows of swaying tree branches in sharp relief. It was often a comforting sight, long familiar to me.

Yet, tonight, it brought me nothing. There was no comfort to be found in familiarity.

Anxiety sent my fingers drumming, waiting desperately for a response from Yotsuba.

Fifteen minutes.

Nothing.

Just as I was about to give up and go back to trying to sleep, my phone finally vibrated.

<Ok.>

For a fraction of a moment, I stared at my phone screen. Then, I moved.

Scrambling to my feet, I threw on my shoes and jacket, and rushed in my pyjamas outside onto the stairs. Hurrying down to the street, I dialled Yotsuba's number. The phone rang for a long time... and then eventually, Yotsuba picked up.

Breathing hard, I stared up at the night sky above me. At the stars, still watching me.

Then, letting out a breath, my shoulders lowered, relaxing, the tension flowing out into the darkness.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey," came the voice from the receiver, a quiet whisper -- yet in that moment, it felt like the most intimate word she'd ever said to me.

A breaching of the barrier that I'd feared had come up between us. A flood of relief poured through me.

I took a deep breath, trying to sort out my words, to bring them into some semblance of order.

"I... I just wanted to--"

"Uesugi-san..."

We both spoke at the same moment, and then both cut off. There was a moment, and then I let out a soft laugh.

"Sorry," I whispered. "You go first."

"No," she said, and I thought I heard the sound of her hair swishing as though she were shaking her head. "You go first."

I snorted quietly, and then leaned my head back, looking up at the sky. The words formulated in my mouth, turning over and over, trying to solidify. Trying to find meaning.

"I just wanted to say... I'm sorry for pushing too hard. You told me to stop, twice, and I didn't. I didn't mean to make you cry, so... I'm sorry."

There was a soft laugh from the other end, but it struck me as a sad laugh. "I was going to apologize for almost the same thing. You didn't do anything wrong, I just... I shut down. I'm sorry."

I frowned. "I made you cry, though. Why are you--"

"No. I made me cry."

Scratching my cheek, I turned around to glance back up at the stairs leading to our apartment. "I... don't think I really understand."

"I just wasn't expecting the question, and I guess... I panicked. Maybe I should have expected it, but... I don't know. I don't think I fully understand it myself."

"I... see," I said carefully.

"I guess I'm not making a lot of sense," Yotsuba laughed, though the sadness was still there. "Sorry, Uesugi-san."

"I still want to apologize, though," I said, shaking my head. "I feel like I did something wrong. So, please accept it, even if you don't think it's needed."

There was a snort from Yotsuba's end, and I got the feeling this one was more genuine. "Sure, fine, I'll begrudgingly accept your apology."

"Well, thank you very much," I chuckled, my free hand sliding into my pocket. "I'm most appreciative."

We both laughed... and then Yotsuba fell silent again. We were both quiet on the line, my thoughts as much a mess as my emotions. Then, finally, Yotsuba broke the silence.

"I'm not ready to answer your questions yet... but I will answer them eventually. I promise, Uesugi-san. It's not that I don't trust you."

There was another moment of silence as I digested her words, a moment of breath and stillness.

Eventually... I wonder when that is.

"Ok," I said softly, cradling the phone against my head. "I believe you."

"But... I probably owe you at least something."

I was quiet, suddenly finding myself holding my breath. Yotsuba breathed in... and I heard a splashing sound. Frowning, I pulled my phone away from my head and looked at it.

Is she...

"Yotsuba," I said slowly. "Sorry to distract but... did I just hear water?"

"Oh, um-- um..."

My eyes narrowed. She is, isn't she?

"You didn't take my call in the bath, did you?"

"W-What? No-- no, of course not, I--"

I suddenly heard a voice in the distance in the call -- from tone alone, I could tell it was Nino.

"Yotsuba -- hurry up and get out of the bath! I want to go next!"

There was a long moment of silence... and then I began to laugh. Yotsuba groaned, and while I couldn't see her face, I could perfectly visualize the expression it would surely be wearing. Embarrassment, shame, but also a hint of amusement. I wandered back over to the stairs, and sat down.

When did I start being able to see her face so clearly?

"Busted," I snickered.

"Damn it, Nino... fine, yes! I was about to get in when you emailed me. I was going to respond when I got out saying to call but... I got nervous. I didn't want to make you wait any longer."

"I see."

"I bet you're thinking lewd thoughts, aren't you?" Yotsuba complained.

I frowned. "Do you know me at all?"

"Beh. Fine, fair enough. Anyways... going back on topic..."

Of course, now that she'd said that, all sorts of thoughts were filling my head...

I smacked myself on the cheek. Stop it.

"Eh? Uesugi-san, what was that sound?"

"Nothing," I replied, shaking my head. "Anyways, you were saying?"

"Oh... right..."

Yotsuba swallowed, the sound transmitted through the phone. Then, she sighed.

"I... ugh, this is hard to talk about. A long time ago...I made a promise to somebody. When I was a child, I promised them that I would become somebody important. Somebody who was needed. That I would strive every day to become those things."

I frowned. Those words sounded strangely familiar.

"But... I didn't keep my promise."

Yotsuba took a deep breath.

"It was a promise that was really important to me... and I failed. I failed to become somebody important, or somebody who people need. I'm a complete failure, Uesugi-san. And... until I..."

She swallowed.

"Until I can say I've kept that promise, I don't feel like I can answer those questions. Because..."

Her words caught in her throat, and then she went silent. I was left holding the phone, staring out into the dark, pondering her words.

Pondering my own reflection contained within them.

She... also has a promise she made someone, huh?

Then, cradling the phone, I held it as close to my face as I could. I suddenly, desperately wished I could see her.

"I understand," I said softly. "Or at least, I understand that you feel that way."

"I'm glad," Yotsuba replied, her relief evident in her voice. "I--"

"I need you to know something, though," I said, unwittingly interrupting her. "It's important."

"...Yeah?" she said, a tentative note in her voice. I could hear the fear in her voice -- but it felt unknowable, somehow. Like there was something deeper to it. Some buried fear, something beneath the surface which I didn't understand.

I chewed over my words for a moment... and then I let them out in a single breath, my face reddening as I said it.

"You're already somebody who's important, and somebody who's needed. To me, anyways."

There was silence on the other end of the line, a silence stretching out so long that I would have thought that the call had ended were it not for the gentle sound of swaying water. Then, eventually, I heard a noise from Yotsuba, one I wasn't sure I recognized. It was somewhere between a squeak and something else entirely.

"Th... Thank you," she said, her voice quivering.

"Of course. It's the truth."

The silence stretched out between us again, but there was a different flavour to it now. One of uncertainty, maybe, but it didn't feel as... fearful. The acidic feeling of anxiety had long-since slithered its way out of my gut, back to whichever hole in which it hid itself.

"Uesugi-san..."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you want to call? I know you wanted to apologize, but... it could have waited until Monday, right? Or you could have just e-mailed me..."

I paused, staring out at the street and the occasional car whizzing by, briefly illuminating the world in its light.

Why did I...?

The answer was unexpected, but it was crystal clear once I actually thought about it.

Well... this is going to be embarrassing.

"Since we're being honest, I'll give you an answer, but it's going to be cheesy as hell. May I?"

Yotsuba paused, and then snorted. "Sure, cheese away! I love cheese, it goes great in all sorts of things."

She was still laughing when I spoke.

"I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice."

Yotsuba immediately went silent, the only sound once again the swishing of the water. I somehow imagined that her face was beet-red -- but I couldn't see her at all. It was just my imagination, running away from me. Showing me only that which I wanted to see.

"I... um... I wanted to hear the sound of your voice too, Uesugi-san... that's why I said yes..."

Yotsuba's voice was reduced to just a whisper.

Yet, it was enough to force a grin to split across my face.

"I'm glad," I said. Glancing up at the night sky, I shook my head. "Anyways, as much as I would love to keep talking, it's getting pretty late. I should probably go -- and you probably don't want Nino catching you on the phone with me in the bath."

"Good point," Yotsuba nodded. "I've already had one sister chew me out today, I don't need it to be two."

I frowned. "Who chewed you out?"

"Itsuki, when I got back upstairs after... but... um, nevermind. That's kind of between me and her."

I made a mental note to get an answer out of Itsuki the next time I saw her.

"Well, for the sake of avoiding a Nino tongue-lashing... goodnight, Yotsuba."

"Goodnight, Uesugi-san," she whispered into the phone. "Thank you for... well..."

I smiled. "Thank you for telling me what you're thinking, even if just a little. I can't know things unless you tell me. I'm not actually psychic."

Yotsuba laughed lightly, and then the line went dead. Looking at my phone for a long moment, I stowed it in my pocket, and ascended the stairs. Slipping in the front door, I locked it, and took off my coat and shoes as quietly as I could. Sliding into my futon, I noticed that Raiha was staring at me from inside of hers, eyes wide.

"How much of that could you hear?" I frowned at her.

Her face split into a giant toothy grin. "All of it."

Sighing, I pulled the futon cover over my head, blocking out Raiha's giggling. Even as I silently cursed the paper-thin materials from which our apartment had been constructed, I could feel a new sensation creeping into my chest, spreading from my chest radially outward until it reached the very tips of my toes.

I asked her. And... I may not have gotten all of my answers... but I got enough for now.

The feeling in my chest was an antithesis to the cold, to the fear and anxiety that had crept through me before like a beast in the night. It was the antidote to my insecurities.

It was warmth.

Notes:

Yay, it's 2024! Remember when I said in the last chapter that the two chapters combined would have been over 14k words? Try over 19k, haha. That's basically a "Four Drowned Leaves" chapter. There was a lot to fit in here -- but Fuutarou finally asked Yotsuba about what happened. While she may not have been willing to fully open up about her feelings, there's progress... and Fuutarou learned about her promise, even if he doesn't know the details (including the most crucial one -- who it was with!).

The chapter ended up being posted a few days later than I'd originally planned -- that's because I was busy editing and then posting the first chapter of my Itsuki/Fuutarou fic, A Sonata of Solitude, my entry for NaNoWriMo 2023! It has a very different tone than "How We Met Again", but I hope that you'll check it out nonetheless.

See you all next chapter (which will also be the first chapter posted after the first anniversary of "How We Met Again")!

Chapter 33: Dichotomous Choices

Chapter 33:
Dichotomous Choices

The sky was a blotted canvas of clouds, mottled shades of grey, light and dark intertwining in patchy discordance -- the sort of all-encompassing coverage that tempts rain, yet never quite comes through with its promises. A bleary picture, the final day of November. The type of day that makes one want to curl up under a blanket next to a homely hearth, well furnished with a roaring fire, and sleep for a thousand years.

Unfortunately, with the finals rapidly closing in and the first exam a mere four days away, that sort of luxury was scarcely an option.

"Uesugi-san, I don't fully understand this bit..."

Lowering my chopsticks with a small sigh, I leaned over the cafeteria table to take a look at the page that a visibly frustrated Yotsuba was showing me. The question at hand was a fusion between trigonometry and geometry -- slightly more advanced than the kind of problems we'd been tackling thus far. I'd been hoping Yotsuba would be able to successfully synthesize the disparate concepts on her own.

"First step," I said, frowning down at the page. "Label things with variables."

"Oh! Um... which things?"

"Everything."

Her brow furrowed, Yotsuba pulled the paper back and stared down at it. Then, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, she began writing down variable names on the piece of paper. As she scratched away at the page , I picked my chopsticks back up and resumed eating my lunch , my eyes trained entirely on her.

I was worried.

Her shoulders were hunched, and her usual posture had deteriorated to the point of practically slouching. There was a drawn quality to her face, the corners of her lips pulled back tightly -- as her eyes scanned over the page below her, there was a dullness to them that didn't suit her. A lack of the usual sheen that was a reflection of her enthusiasm, and her normally boundless energy.

I felt my own lips draw tight. There's something wrong.

It had been two weeks since our phone call, and our conversation in the cold. After that, we'd fallen into an uneasy new equilibrium -- there was an underlying tension, yet also a sort of quiet comfort as well. It didn't help matters that I had essentially only seen her during the lunch break; every weekday evening had been taken up by either track, or Takeda. The weekend had been our only reprieve. Consequently, as the finals began to loom on the horizon, I'd begrudgingly decided to turn my priorities to other places. To putting all of my energy into supporting her as best I could.

T here was no use dwelling on things. Ultimately, Yotsuba had set an explicit boundary. There was now finally a firm line in the sand , a marker by which I could begin to determine where we stood, even if it was only the most approximate of measure s .

I wasn't about to violate it.

After the line had gone dead and I'd returned in from the cold, I'd decided that I was willing to give her what she'd asked for. Time. And, in the time until she was ready to answer my questions... I would wait.

There was still a part of me , an impatient part, that demanded immediate answers. That demanded to know exactly what her motivations were, and what exactly she thought of me. To know the truth behind her confusing emotions, and the inexplicable look of pain that had appeared on her face in the dancing firelight .

But...

She promised she would eventually tell me. So... I'm going to choose to believe her.

That decision had felt like an itch in my throat, sitting uncomfortably, something that I wanted desperately to scratch, to clear away -- but, there was nothing I could do. Only time would relieve my discomfort.

"Ugh, Uesugi-san, it doesn't make any sense -- there are too many parts!"

I put my chopsticks down again, and leaned forward.

"Ok, well, let's try breaking it down..."

The day after I'd confronted Yotsuba, I'd cornered Itsuki on the way to the cafeteria, and interrogated her in an empty classroom. Yet, no matter how much I hounded her, I'd been unable to get much information at all -- something about "sisterly confidentiality" and it being "none of my darn business" what she had chewed Yotsuba out about.

She'd called us both idiots, though, with a look of fiery indignation in her eyes.

I still wasn't sure how I felt about that.

With her insistence on giving me absolutely nothing of value, all I'd been able to determine was something that was, frankly, obvious -- it had been about me. Anything beyond that, she'd clamped down entirely.

That said, after all the help she'd given me, it was hard to be too angry at her.

"No, this isn't going anywhere-- argh, come ooooon. Why can't this be easy?! I hate math!"

I snapped out of it, and glanced down at the page which was currently receiving the entirety of Yotsuba's wrath, her face scrunched up between her hands as she glared at the offending piece of paper.

"You forgot that the internal angle of a semi-circle is pi radians -- and so, you know what the sum of the angles is."

Yotsuba blinked, and glanced up at me. After a moment, frowning, she looked back down at the page.

Then, she let out a groan, and lowered her head to the table.

"You're right -- I totally forgot..."

After a brief moment of mourning she looked up, her chin rested on the table, and little of her usual Yotsuba energy returned as she flashed me a cheeky smile -- though the look was slightly marred by the underlying strained expression on her face.

"As expected of the genius Uesugi-san -- you spot my mistakes in just a moment!"

"Careful," I said, picking up my bowl of rice and lifting it towards my mouth. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"It's not flattery if it's a real compliment," Yotsuba said, smiling tiredly. Lifting herself back up, she began writing again with her pencil, adding the additional information I'd given her into her calculations.

I could feel my face heating up slightly. "Is that so?"

"Mhmm."

Yotsuba seemed distracted, staring back down at the page -- or perhaps it was better to just say that she was focused. I could tell that she wasn't fully paying attention to what she was saying, and I suddenly felt a bit silly for having gotten flustered. Eventually, with a sigh, I returned to my food.

A few minutes later, Yotsuba put down her pencil and stretched, her arm rising into the air as she attempted to provide some relief to her clearly-aching shoulders.

"It's done," she sighed, shaking her head. "Could you please look over the worksheet, Uesugi-san?"

Pulling the collection of practice problems over, I quickly graded it-- and to my pleasant surprise, found that around half of the questions were correct. I'd intentionally made the worksheet harder than I thought the test would be, so that when the exam came, she would be in a more advantageous position.

It had, apparently, succeeded.

"Good work," I murmured as I slid it back. "That said, you did need to ask for help on that last question -- so make sure to review it again before the final to make sure you fully understand all the moving parts involved."

Yotsuba nodded... and then stifled a yawn. I frowned at the visible sign of her exhaustion, but kept my concerns to myself.

"Oh, that reminds me," she said, suddenly shaking herself and looking me in the eye. "Do you want to study over the weekend?"

"Of course. It's a no-brainer -- obviously we need to study the weekend before the finals."

"Great! I'll prepare snacks," Yotsuba grinned, a spark of excitement entering her voice. I noted wryly that, despite everything, it seemed as though the prospect of chips and dips was still a bigger lure than learning.

"Were you thinking kind of like a study camp?" I asked, tilting my head. "A final intensive session, and all that?"

"Hmm... that's probably a good idea," she said, nodding. "How does Saturday morning sound? Then, we can go all day on Saturday and Sunday."

I gave a thumbs up, and Yotsuba's smile got even bigger -- and for a moment, my worries about her were relieved. Then, the bell rang, and she jumped almost half a foot into the air in her seat, and they instantly returned with a vengeance.

Her nerves are shot.

"Uh-- I've gotta go! See you tomorrow, Uesugi-san!"

"Sure," I said, raising my hand in farewell as she hurriedly threw her books into her bag. "Good luck with Takeda tonight."

"Roger!" she replied, pausing for a moment to throw a salute. Then, zipping her bag shut, she bounded away from the table. As she went, I couldn't help but notice that her step was a bit unsteady, a slight sway marking her stride.

Pursing my lips, I turned back to the remnants of my meal, and scarfed them down. Then, shoving my textbooks into my own bag, I threw it onto my shoulder and rose to my feet. Staring in the direction that Yotsuba had gone, I paused a moment, eyes narrowing slightly.

Then, with a slight shake of the head, I left.

Afternoon classes passed by quickly -- having already covered the material thrice-fold, I found my mind wandering to other subjects. The by-now well-trod grounds of emotional reflection was a given, but there was a new nagging feeling in my chest, a sense that there was something amiss.

Silently, I wondered if it was connected to Yotsuba's apparent exhaustion.

As the bell rang to mark the end of the day, I rose to go to the library to study -- but stepping out into the hallway, I suddenly felt the call of nature, and I changed course to make my way towards the washroom. As I was approaching the door, however, I heard a pounding of footsteps behind me, and turned to see Takeda charging down the hall.

"Uesugi-kun! Ah, thank goodness I caught you!"

Glancing anxiously towards the washroom door, and then back at Takeda, I winced slightly. "Um... yes? Can I help you?"

"I was hoping to petition your advice one more time -- 'tis the last study session I have with the students before the finals begin, and I'm simply tittering with nerves."

"Aren't you supposed to be on your way there already?" I asked, frowning.

"I... I have a bit of time," Takeda said, shaking his head anxiously. "Please, just-- look, I'm..."

I realized with a start that there was a note of panic in his voice. Taking a moment to look him over , I could see that there was a slight shaking to his shoulders, a hint of fear in his eyes. Silently, I wondered to myself how much stress he'd been putting himself under. How much the future of those five girls had begun to weigh on him , despite the airs he put on.

Tutoring someone is a serious thing.

Not for the first time, a mote of pity flared in the depths of my stomach.

Glancing back at the washroom door again, I gritted my teeth, and nodded. "I can give you ... five minutes, Takeda, but then I desperately need to be... otherwise occupied."

"Huh?" Takeda blinked obliviously at me. "What do you mea--"

He trailed off, and then his eyes widened. "Oh. Oh! Nay, Uesugi-kun, I shan't be so churlish as to-- my word, please! I'll... I'm just making a bother of myself, aren't I? Oh dear. But I need... ah, hell, I'll ask you in the washroom. Off you go, my good sir!"

I just stared at him in disbelief.

" What? I need your help, and we have a time crunch, do we not? 'Tis an elegant solution."

"I can't believe you," I muttered to myself. "Well-- whatever. Do as you like, I guess."

Walking into the washroom, Takeda began blathering my ear off about his study plan and his attempted improvements to his teaching methods. I tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but I was slightly distracted by the herculean task of trying to not think about the situation I had suddenly been put in. As I picked my spot at a urinal, and he stood slightly behind me chatting, I increasingly failed to maintain focus, my responses becoming more and more monosyllabic.

This is quite possibly the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had.

Eventually, with his supply of tutoring-related questions and ramblings run dry, Takeda left, and I could feel my shoulders slowly decompress. Closing my eyes, I groaned, and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Never again.

I was washing my hands at the sink a few minutes later, trying desperately to cleanse my memory of the awkward interaction I'd just had, when I heard voices drifting in from the hallway. I wasn't particularly paying attention -- until my ears perked up at the sound of Yotsuba's voice.

"Ah, no, I have a tutoring session tonight-- sorry, Eba-san."

"Hmm, that's too bad -- active recovery is the best form of recovery, after all."

"Is... is that so?"

It sounded as though Eba had caught Yotsuba in the hallway -- though as I stood wordlessly over the sink running water over my hands, I couldn't quite tell if they were walking by, or standing outside the door.

"Well," Yotsuba said, "I have heard that there are benefits both to active recovery and fully resting, so--"

"By the way, Nakano-san," Eba said, her voice authoritative as she cut Yotsuba off. "We're having a special training session this weekend. It'll be an intensive boot camp to prepare for the track meet. We're only two weeks out, so we need to be giving it our all. I trust you'll be attending?"

There was only silence from Yotsuba.

In the washroom, my hands had frozen, water uselessly splashing over them as my head turned to look towards the door, as though drawn by a magnetic force entirely outside my control. A myriad of emotions were streaking through my chest, each moving and passing through so quickly as to be scarcely identifiable.

Shock. Incredulity. Rage. Bafflement.

Fear.

After a long pause, Yotsuba coughed, and then let out an awkward laugh. "W-Well, Eba-san, that's... that's super last minute, isn't it? I already have plans made to study this weekend, since finals start on Monday. So--"

"I trust your plans for a weekend... rendezvous aren't more important than the track meet, are they?" Eba said, her voice ice cold.

"Um... um..."

I couldn't see her, but just from the tone in her voice, I could visualize Yotsuba physically shrinking in the face of Eba's look of steel. A rush of anger burst through me, but I wrestled it down -- unfortunately, it probably wouldn't do Yotsuba any good if I came storming out of the washroom to give Eba a piece of my mind, despite how much I wanted to.

Probably.

"I... I guess... not..." Yotsuba said, her voice barely more than a whimper.

Slowly, I closed my eyes. A soft groan came out of my mouth, a quiet hurt. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself.

"Good," Eba said pointedly. "You're our star, Nakano-san. The team needs you in the shape of your life -- you're indispensable."

"Oh... ok." Yotsuba said, her voice somehow sounding even more constrained.

"Well then-- I'll see you outside the school tomorrow afternoon at the time we would usually have our practice. Bring clothes for two nights; we'll be returning Sunday evening."

Yotsuba didn't say anything, and so I could only presume that she nodded. Then, there was the sound of footsteps; from the heavy, purpose-laden footfalls, I could only presume it was Eba marching away. There was a pregnant pause, a moment of silence... and then a deep, quavering exhalation of breath from Yotsuba.

The water had long-since stopped running over my hands. Looking down, I found to my quiet surprise that they were shaking. Whether it was from anger, or from one of the half-dozen other emotions that had flown through my chest, I had no idea. Regardless, they were trembling, completely beyond my control.

As I looked back up, I heard softer footsteps walking away-- and when I eventually exited back out into the hallway, Yotsuba was nowhere to be found.

Staring down the hallway in the direction she'd likely gone, I could feel the slithering feeling of acidic anxiety flowing freely in my stomach -- the sort of half-burning, half-gnawing sensation which I'd hoped I'd managed to put behind me after my talk with Yotsuba. Curling around my spine as a snake climbing a branch. Ascending upwards towards my heart, forked tongue flicking out as though mocking me.

I don't want her to go.

The thought caught me by surprise... but as I began walking towards the library, there was no doubt in my mind as to its veracity.

I don't want her to go.

The night was filled with anxious tossing and turning. The finals were upon us, looming large as life. There was no time left -- and Yotsuba was about to be snatched out of my hands, dragged away from me directly into the grasping claws of failure. My dreams were torrid, an indecipherable morass of emotion and visions, nothing lasting nor consistent. When I awoke in the morning, it was in a cold sweat.

Raiha had woken up before me, and as I violently jerked awake, she had jumped about a foot in the air. She'd been concerned -- but luckily, I'd eventually managed to convince her that it was just exam-related stress.

It was even, possibly, the truth. Just not for my own sake.

When I entered the school gates later that morning, I could see the black car of foreign make in the distance drawing closer. For a moment, I paused, watching its approach, hypnotized by its sleek exterior... and then I shook myself out of my reverie, and walked towards the school doors. As much as I wanted to talk to Yotsuba, I didn't particularly want to hear the comments Nino would make if I stood there gaping at their car like an idiot.

When the quintuplets walked in amongst the footlockers after a few minutes, I raised a hand in greeting -- and while a few of them returned the gesture, Yotsuba walked right by me, a dazed look on her face. Surprised, as I watched her go, I could feel the acidic feeling in the depths of my stomach once again, coiling at its base. I wasn't sure if she was just so tired that she hadn't noticed me... or if there was something more to it.

I desperately hoped it was the former.

As I walked to the classroom with Itsuki, the image of Yotsuba's face kept turning over in my mind. There were definitely shadows forming under her eyes now. It was as though she were walking through the fog of a dream, her reactions delayed, her mind elsewhere. Seeing her like that... I could feel the concern writhing in my chest.

"Uesugi-kun? Are you alright?"

Snapping out of it, I glanced over at Itsuki, whose brow was furrowed in concern.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine," I murmured, shaking my head. "Just a lot on my mind."

"I see," she replied, frowning. "Well... if you want to talk about it..."

"Thanks," I said, as we approached the classroom door. "I might take you up on that at some point."

Itsuki silently nodded as I slid the door open and we walked in. Moving to our respective desks, I could hear giggles from some of the other girls in the class... but I quickly tuned them out, turning instead to stare out the window at the reddened trees that stood in a resplendent row beyond the building.

Soon, in a mere matter of weeks, their leaves would fall, leaving the branches which they had once adorned bereft.

But for now, their colour remained. For now, they were beautiful.

Ephemeral.

Eventually, it was lunch, and I was buying my usual meal. Yet, my eyes were set to one task alone: locating Yotsuba amidst the crowd. With the sudden conundrum that had been set forth by Eba, I wanted to talk to her. To find out what she was going to do.

To find out if she was going to go.

The acidic feeling was still writhing in my belly.

I couldn't find her, and so, defeated, I walked over to our normal spot. If I couldn't go to her, maybe she would come to me.

After a few minutes, I heard footsteps, and I looked up from my food to see Yotsuba approaching. She put her tray down, and then collapsed into the chair. Leaning forward, she put her head in her arms, and let out a long, low groan.

"Hey," I said, frowning slightly. "Long day?"

"Hi," Yotsuba said from somewhere inside of her fortress made of arm. "Yes."

I reached over and gently patted her shoulder. Her head shifted, almost giving her ribbon the appearance of twitching like a cat ear. As she looked up and glanced over at my hand, there was a faint pink glow to her cheeks. Then, she looked over at me, and gave me a tired grin.

The acidic feeling in my stomach retreated at her smile, forced back by the radiance of her lips.

She must have just been that tired.

Yet, where the acidic snake had once been, indecision welled up in its place, a hesitancy that stayed my tongue -- I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask her about the conversation with Eba, and about her plans, and about how the hell she was planning to balance all of the competing demands that were pulling her life in every direction.

But, I didn't want to admit to eavesdropping, and so I waited for her to say the first word.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait long.

"Yeah, I... just got some news yesterday. So..."

I froze, then slowly withdrew my hand. Yotsuba glanced up at the spot where it had been for a moment, then looked back at me.

"I was talking with Eba yesterday, and um... she told me that there's a training camp for the track team over the weekend. Some kind of overnight thing."

Fresh irritation spilled into my veins, running hot -- and even as I had known it was coming, I could feel my eye involuntarily twitch. Slowly, deeply, I drew in breath, seeking to calm myself, to push back the frustration that was mounting within me.

"I... see."

"Yeah... it's apparently mandatory."

"Is it now?" I said, looking down at my food in hopes that Yotsuba wouldn't see the look I knew was plastered across my face.

"Mmm. But... I don't know what to do, Uesugi-san. I just... I don't know."

I glanced up again, silent. Our eyes met. There was a look on Yotsuba's face, drawn eyebrows and downturned corners of her lips. Glistening eyes, their deep blue clouded by exhaustion. There was something plaintive to her expression as I looked at her.

Wordlessly, I wondered what she saw as she gazed back at me.

Regardless of what she may or may not have gleaned from my eyes, eventually she broke contact and looked down at the table. Drawing her shoulders in tight, she shook her head.

"On the one hand," she murmured, "I want to do my absolute best on these exams -- we worked so hard, and I was so frustrated when I only passed four out of five midterms. You've also put so much work into helping me; before the midterms, and now. Takeda-san too, at least since the school trip. I know that if I spend this weekend studying a ton, it'll make a big difference..."

I waited, my eyes locked on her downturned head.

"On the other hand... I committed to the track team. I don't want to skip their events, and leave them out to dry. I made a promise to do my best, and Eba-san said... she said they need me. That I'm their... um, that I'm important to the team. So..."

Yotsuba lifted her head to look at me again -- and the plaintive look was back in her eyes.

"I don't know what to do, Uesugi-san. I..."

Slowly, I closed my eyes, Yotsuba disappearing from my vision. Taking another deep breath, I attempted to slow my pounding heart, driven out of sync by my irritation and frustration. The object of my anger wasn't present at the table. There was no use in letting it out... despite the quiet hurt that was whispering in my chest at her indecision.

"Do you want my opinion?" I asked softly, opening my eyes.

Yotsuba paused a moment, and then nodded her head.

"I don't think you should go."

There was a long moment of silence, as Yotsuba digested my words. Chewing on her lip, she turned to look away from me, staring out into the distance. Then, slowly, she shook her head.

"Isn't there some way I can do both?" she whispered. "Some way that I can make everyone happy?"

"Unless you can find a way to clone yourself, no," I said drily.

"I mean... I can go on the trip, but still study, right...?"

Looking over her face, the fatigue was obvious -- and it was somehow only then that I finally made the connection. The inexplicable improvement, beyond anything I would have expected from her sessions with Takeda. The way she'd grown more and more exhausted as the month had gone on. The blatant signs, staring me right in the eye.

It was in front of me the whole time. How the hell didn't I notice?

In being faced with a choice between studying for finals and training for the track meet, when forced to choose between those two competing desires, Yotsuba had chosen not to choose.

Yet, not sacrificing something was an impossibility.

And so, she'd chosen to sacrifice sleep instead.

She's been staying up late studying. Possibly every night.

The realization hit me like a train, a complete derailment of my previously held conceptions. Looking her over with new eyes, more signs of her exhaustion made themselves obvious. Her hunched shoulders, the pallor of her face, the shadows under her eyes, the way her hands were slightly shaking. Her shot nerves.

In the face of her dedication, I wasn't immediately sure what to do.

"...I'll do both," Yotsuba said quietly, oblivious to my sudden revelation. "I'll uphold my responsibilities to the track team... and get all my studying done..."

I closed my eyes again... and then sighed.

"I don't think this will end the way you want it to," I murmured. "What you're doing... it isn't sustainable."

Yotsuba was silent for a moment, her eyes narrowed as she stared down at the linoleum table between us. Then, shaking her head, she pulled her textbook out of her bag, and looked back up at me.

"I'm going to do my best. Let's study."

I took that as an indication the conversation was over... and so I pulled out my own flashcards, an uncomfortable feeling in my chest. It wasn't quite the acidity of before, so much as a deep-seated sense of worry. Despite my own history of sacrificing things to study, seeing someone I cared about make the same tradeoff was ... upsetting.

Yet, it felt as though criticizing that choice was hypocritical.

So, I kept my mouth shut.

Is this... how she felt?

Eventually, the bell rang, and Yotsuba left for class. I was left behind at the table, staring blankly ahead... and wondering what the hell to do . It was only when I felt a tap on my shoulder that I was roused from my trance of indecision , and I looked up over my shoulder to see Itsuki standing behind me, a concerned look on her face.

" Uesugi-kun... we need to go to class."

"Oh... right..."

Shaking my head, I packed my bag, and then got to my feet. I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment.

"Sorry," I added, rubbing the back of my head. "I just... yeah. Sorry."

Itsuki shrugged her shoulders, and started walking. "I have no idea why you're apologizing, but alright. If you're really sorry, you can always buy me a drink from the vending machine on the way back to class."

I scowled at her. "I'm not that sorry."

Itsuki laughed, and after a moment I smiled too.

The walk back to class was companionable, mostly consisting of small talk about the upcoming exam . Yet, there was a part of my mind that was distracted, focusing on the conundrum within which Yotsuba found herself. The acidic feeling in my stomach had refused to go away; and whenever I thought of how tired she looked, my chest clenched.

Pull yourself together.

When the bell marking the end of the day rang, I was still caught up in a flurry of unresolved emotion -- I wasn't even sure what I was feeling anymore.

Anger, hurt, frustration, fear.

They w ere all forming a bubbling morass in my chest, a mixture of indecipherable constituents. Yet, throughout all the oily sludge, there was a single core that underpinned everything, an emotional thread which I was sure of.

It became all the more clear as I passed a window in the hallway, and saw the track team gathered outside, assorted bags littered around them. Pressing my face against the glass, its cool touch a welcome grace, I stared out at them.

"I don't want her to go."

The words, whispered aloud in the emptiness of the hallway, hung in the air, suspended like water droplets forming a fine mist.

They whispered back to me.

The truth.

I don't want her to go.

My feet were moving.

Forward, through the hall. Scrambling. Down the stairs. Out the door, as fast as my legs could carry me-- and across the field, buildings blurring by, my focus entirely drawn in.

Drawn in by the girl with the green ribbon who was walking away from me .

I don't want her to--

"Yotsuba!"

She turned -- and four other faces turned along with her. Suddenly, panting, it was as though I were standing before a court, looming large over me. Judging me.

Some eyes were filled with curiosity.

Some eyes were filled with ice.

"Uesugi-san?" Yotsuba asked, her eyebrows drawn together. "W-what are you doing here?"

Wheezing, hands on my knees, I tried desperately to catch my breath. I took a moment, inhaling greedily to draw in one more raspy pull of air. Then, standing up, heart pounding just as much from adrenaline as from exertion, I locked eyes with Yotsuba.

"Don't go."

Yotsuba's face immediately began to redden, and I could hear some inane tittering from some of the other members of the track team.

"Uesugi-san, I--"

Yet, before she could properly respond, a voice of ice and steel and quiet, quiet rage spoke from seemingly far away.

A voice that demanded order, and silence, and compliance.

"What," Eba said softly, "do you think you're doing?"

The other girls fell silent as the black-haired captain stepped forward, putting a protective hand on Yotsuba's shoulder as she faced me. At her touch, I could feel an incandescent fury beginning to build in my chest -- but I swallowed it down. Pushing it into the depths, so deep that the emotion I still refused to acknowledge as jealousy couldn't slip its way free, and control me.

Yotsuba's eyes flitted to Eba's hand for a moment, before returning to me. She subtly shifted under her touch.

"This has nothing to do with you," I said, shaking my head, my gaze refusing to be pulled away. "I was talking to Yotsuba."

"I think it's maybe my business if you try to steal our star athlete two weeks before the track meet."

I slowly turned to look at Eba, my eyes finally locking onto hers. There was an unspoken message she was throwing my way, one that was beyond Yotsuba, who was looking back and forth between us. It was apparent in the clutch of her hand, the way she had positioned, her body intersecting the path between us, acting as a protective shield.

It was as though she were silently screaming a message at me.

Mine.

Staring at her face, I could feel the corner of my lips curl downward.

Who the hell do you think you are?

"It's not stealing," I said, the words soft and smooth, not betraying the frothing caldera within. "After all, you don't own Yotsuba. She's an independent person who's fully capable of making these decisions herself."

"That's not what I meant," Eba scoffed, condescension slipping into her voice, "and you know it. Don't play dumb."

"I'm not," I scowled. "She's not your plaything. You can't just impose your will on her, and keep pressuring her to do whatever you want at the expense of her grades and of her health. You're doing too much."

"I'm not going to take lessons on leadership from some stuck-up teacher's pet who--"

I felt my eye twitch. "Are you serious? Can't you see she's at her limit? You've gone too far, and you're going too hard on her. Do your damn job, captain."

Eba's stony cold look devolved into a picture of fury. Lifting her hand off Yotsuba's shoulder, she stepped forward and jabbed her finger at me, the tip mere centimetres away from my face.

"I don't know who you think you are," she hissed, her voice subtly trembling. "But you don't get to waltz in here and criticize all of our hard work. This track meet is really important for everyone on this team -- our admittance to university programs could hinge on the results. We're all working our asses off; you don't get to write all of that effort and dedication off."

For a moment, my eyes tried to focus on the finger in my face -- but it was too close, and eventually I gave up and locked onto her eyes, the accusatory finger turning into a mere blur in the foreground. My own rage, bottled and suppressed and pushed down with an iron grip, pressed back against me, and it was all I could do to keep it contained.

"I'm not writing off your efforts," I said, shaking my head. "I'm saying that you're sabotaging Yotsuba's. She has to pass these finals. Her own future depends on it -- or is that something that didn't even occur to you?"

"Nakano-san will be fine," Eba said, rolling her eyes. "Academically, university sports programs only care about whether you have a high enough score to not fail the grade. The main thing they care about is your athletic results -- and she's already at a disadvantage, because she hasn't been involved in track and field for all three of her years of high school. I refuse to let a potential star like her be buried in obscurity!"

I glanced over at Yotsuba. She looked pale-- I wasn't sure how much of that was because of the ongoing argument, and how much was due to her present constitution. Silently, I arched an eyebrow at her... and a look crossed her face that was hard to read. A slight tightening of her lips, maybe.

"If she goes on this trip," I said softly, shaking my head, "there's a non-zero chance she fails the finals."

"That's fine," Eba said dismissively. "She just has to pass the grade."

"Do you just not care about her academics at all?" I asked, my voice beginning to rise.

"No, I don't!" Eba replied, her volume rising to match mine. "I care about her performance on the track!"

"Well that explains it then!" I snarled. "Just because you don't care about academics doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way!"

"Shut up, nerd," she sneered, anger and condescension combining to contort her face. "We don't need to be having this conversation -- you're not a part of this decision. Nakano-san is coming with us on the trip, and that's final."

In the depths of my chest, it was like a cord snapped. The shackles attempting to hold down my rage, bottling it and repressing it, were ripped apart in the blink of an eye -- and in a second, I felt like I was looking at Eba with new eyes. Rising slightly from the slouched posture I'd unconsciously taken in the face of her verbal onslaught, I reached up, and roughly pushed her hand out of my face.

"That decision isn't up to you -- it's up to her!" I hissed. "You don't get to make it for her. Just because she agreed to join the track team doesn't mean you have the right to control her life; and frankly, you don't deserve to have any say in her life. You only care about Yotsuba the athlete -- you don't give a shit about Yotsuba the person. "

Trembling slightly, I stepped forward into the space left open by her swatted-aside arm, and jabbed my own finger into her face.

"You're lucky, you know," I growled. "You're so damned lucky that she's as patient as she is. If I was the one being put through the shit you're putting her through, I'd have quit ages ago. Your last minute planning, your spontaneous extra practices, your everything-else-be-damned attitude... if it was just for yourself, it would be fine, but you're forcing it onto everyone else around you."

Eba was shaking in front of me, her face a painting in fury. As she opened her mouth to respond, though, I jabbed my finger at her again.

"You didn't actually give her a choice about coming on this trip -- you just pressured her into it. Yotsuba should be allowed to freely decide these things for herself. Not because you decided that the rest of her life wasn't a priority!"

"Of course I gave her a choice, asshole," Eba scowled. "Don't just make stuff up! You're spouting bull--"

"I was there," I said flatly. "You didn't."

"Excuse me?" she said, a look of incredulity growing on her face. "You absolutely were not. Why are you lying?"

"You were talking outside the men's washroom on the second floor near the library. I was inside washing my hands at the time."

After a moment of confusion, Eba froze-- and then the scowl grew even deeper on her face. "So what? I didn't force her to come. She could have said no; she agreed to come on the training camp. I'm getting really sick of this shi--"

"You absolutely pressured her. She told you she had plans on the weekend, and you guilted her into coming by asking if those plans were more important than the track meet."

"I--"

"Let's ask her," I said sharply, looking past her at Yotsuba. "She's here -- she deserves to be part of this conversation, instead of just having us talk about her."

Yotsuba looked distinctly like she would rather be in any other place. As I brought the focus of the group's attention onto her, she looked like a deer in headlights -- and I was struck by a sudden pang of guilt, so intense that it snuffed out my anger. Guilt for having dragged the conflict which had long been brewing out into the open, and guilt for having forced this situation onto her.

But... in the end, she needed to decide for herself. Not based on what I wanted, and not because Eba was pressuring her.

She needed to make her own decision.

"I-- um, I..."

Yotsuba stuttered, at a loss for words. She shrank back further as Eba's gaze rounded on her, still fiery from our exchange. Then, looking past her, Yotsuba's eyes made contact with mine... and my heart ached at the look of sheer panic on her exhausted face. There was that plaintive look on her face again... but also one which seemed to be searching for something. Reassurance, maybe. Support.

"I can... I can do both," she eventually whispered, squaring her shoulders. "I can study at night, and..."

"See?" Eba said smugly, turning back to me. "She wants to come on the trip. So you can pack up and go now. Bye-bye."

Ignoring her, I kept my eyes trained on Yotsuba. She seemed to be talking to herself more than either of us, her eyes now cast downward. The words she was saying, the tone... it sounded as though she were trying to convince us.

To convince herself.

I stepped forward and walked past Eba, who let out a squawk of protest. Reaching out my hands, I gently grasped Yotsuba's shoulders -- and she looked up at me with those large blue eyes that were full of questions, and uncertainty, and fear. All of those things... and trust. She trusted me. I could feel my heart clenching in my chest, and it was all I could do to stop myself from drawing her in close.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly let it out in a sigh -- and with it was carried what was left of my rage, suddenly extinguished. Ultimately, Eba didn't matter. Getting the last word didn't matter. My feelings in this didn't matter.

Only one thing mattered.

Yotsuba.

"If this really is what you want, I won't try and stop you," I said softly to her. "I don't think it's what's right for you -- but that's only because I care about you, and I can see what this is doing to you. I want you to be happy... and so, if this is what brings you joy, I'll back off. I'll... I'll even apologize to your captain."

She looked up at me wordlessly, her breath seemingly held. The small crowd was silent -- or maybe their words had simply melted out of my consciousness in the face of the wordless emotion running between myself and Yotsuba.

"But."

Her eyes were held in mine, and I could feel the beast in the cage screaming. Screaming for release. Screaming for me to take that extra step forward. Crying. Begging. Roaring in desperation. The steel bars bent, forced outward by the immense pressure within-- but did not break. The prisoner would not be freed. Not that day.

I had higher priorities.

"I'll repeat what I asked you when you first decided to join the track team."

Yotsuba's eyes widened slightly, and I leaned forward, my face now merely a dozen centimetres away from hers.

"Is this something you want to do?"

"I need--"

"No," I said, cutting her off. "Sorry, but-- I'm not asking if it's something you feel like you need to do. I'm asking if this trip is what you want to do."

Yotsuba grew silent. Her eyes lowered, seemingly staring into my chest, her brow slowly furrowing in thought. I could see a whole flurry of emotions crossing her face, a storm of guilt and regret and anxiety and also, perhaps, a flash of hope. Regardless of what it was, when she looked back up at me, there was a glimmer in her eye that hadn't been there before, forcing its way out through the dull matte of her exhaustion.

She whispered something under her breath, a single word, too quiet for me to hear even at my close range.

So, I just waited silently.

Then, she closed her eyes, sighed, and then opened them again to look over at Eba.

"Um... Eba-san..."

"Yes?" she replied, a strained note of repressed incredulity in her voice.

I pulled my arms back off of Yotsuba's shoulders, leaving her free to face her captain. She spared me a glance with a soft smile, and turned to Eba.

Then, she bowed her head.

"I'm really sorry... but I don't think I'm going to be coming on the trip after all. I've thought about what Uesugi-san said, and while I don't agree with everything he said earlier... it's true that this trip was too last-minute for me, and I felt really pressured to come for the good of the team. I... I really want to pass these exams. I've put a load of time and work into them... and I want to do my best to succeed."

Eba seemed genuinely shocked by Yotsuba's words -- her mouth had dropped open, her eyes wide. For a moment, her jaw trembled, as though she were about to say something. Then, finally, she drew it shut... and pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes closing.

"Nakano-san," she said softly, a note of aggravation in her voice. "The track meet is in two weeks' time. Are you... leaving the team? This late?"

"No!" Yotsuba said hurriedly, shaking her head. "I'm not quitting the team -- and I'll still be there for the track meet. I promise! I said I would do my best when I joined, and I meant it. I just need to take a few days for the finals. I'll be back to practicing my heart out as soon as they're done."

"I'm still not ok with it," Eba said, shaking her head. "Missing two days of intensive practice will do a world of harm to your chances in the meet -- I can't say I support this."

"But I--"

"You heard her decision," I finally cut in, putting a protective hand on Yotsuba's shoulder and stepping forward to subtly move between the two of them. "You were pressuring her into coming on this hare-brained boot camp you dreamed up at the last minute. It's to be expected that it wouldn't fly."

"You can shut up," Eba scowled at me. "Nakano-san, I--"

"I'm sorry, Eba-san," Yotsuba said, bowing deeply. "I'm not going. I need to study."

"Listen, you can spend the evenings--"

I reached down and grabbed Yotsuba's hand -- a palm-on-palm grasp, a fundamentally different beast from the way she'd held my hand at the bonfire. It was a fundamentally utilitarian thing -- and yet, nevertheless, it sent lightning up my arm, every sense screaming at the skin-on-skin contact. Yotsuba turned to look at me in sudden surprise-- and then astonishment as I began dragging her away. Luckily, she'd still had her duffel bag over her shoulder.

"You've said your piece, Yotsuba," I said, shaking my head. "You don't want to go-- you don't have to go. We're leaving."

"Damn it, I'm not done talking! Nakano-san--"

"I'm sorry, Eba-san!" Yotsuba called as I pulled her away from the group. "I promise to still do some light training during the finals so I don't get rusty!"

"That won't be enough for--"

We were gone.

She was free.

What have I done?

I pulled Yotsuba through the front door of the school and into the footlocker area. Reaching a bench for changing footwear, I finally paused -- and sighed, sitting down. My hand failed to make the descent with me, and I looked up to realize that it was still in Yotsuba's. My face immediately heating up, I hurriedly let go.

She looked at it for a moment, and then down at me.

"Well... um..." I said, floundering about for words for a moment... before realizing I had no idea what to say to her.

We stayed there in silence for a moment, the weight of all the things I'd said to Eba in the heat of my rage filling the air between us... and then Yotsuba sat on the bench next to me, and silently rested her head on my shoulder.

"Yotsuba?! What are you--"

"Sorry," she whispered. "I'm just... really tired suddenly."

"O-oh."

"Do you mind if I just... rest for a moment?"

I swallowed. "Um... sure. That's fine."

With those words, we both fell silent again. I could feel the thumping of my heart in my chest... and I wondered if she could hear it too. Yet, as I listened to her breathing, there was a peaceful quality to it. The last time she'd rested on my shoulder, I'd been overwhelmed by emotion -- but this time, while I felt a complete awareness of the pressure of her touch, I felt calm.

We stayed that way for a long time.

Eventually, Yotsuba shifted, and let out a soft sigh. I tried to turn my head to look at her -- but found that I couldn't. She was almost up against my neck.

That's fine.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"...Thank you."

I smiled softly. "I thought I was embarrassing the hell out of you. I got really worried I'd gone too far."

"You were. But... still. Thank you. I... I think I needed it. I really didn't want to go, but... I didn't feel like I could say no. The team needs me. Eba-san needs me. I just kept telling myself that over, and over, and over... until eventually, it felt like turning them down would have been selfish of me. Like it would have been a betrayal. And I..."

I reached up and stroked Yotsuba's h air , eliciting a small squeak from her.

"Wanting to have boundaries isn't being selfish," I said quietly. "And even if it were... you could stand to be a bit more selfish."

"I don't deserve to be more selfish," Yotsuba murmured-- and I got the distinct sense that she wasn't just talking about the track team anymore . "I've already been selfish enough for a lifetime."

Silently, I stared ahead... and tried desperately not to read to o much into what she was saying.

T here was a sniffle from Yotsuba, and I wondered for a moment if she were crying. Yet, I couldn't turn my head to look, and so I merely contented myself with stroking her hair. Eventually, she sat up, and turned to look at me , my hand falling away .

As I'd suspected, her eyes looked puffy , though there were no tear stains on her cheeks . There was a look in her eyes, one that I wasn't sure I recognized -- and suddenly, I was extremely conscious of how close she was. I was drawn in, bewitched by her eyes, the nearness of her lips, so close that I could lean in and...

Yotsuba smiled at me , and I could feel a shiver run down my spine -- but the spell was broken .

...What was that?

"Well, that's enough feeling sorry for myself," she said, grinning sheepishly , her face red . "Thanks for saving me, Uesugi-san!"

"When you put it like that, it sounds way more dramatic than me just running up and being an ass to Eba," I frowned, rubbing the back of my head.

"Ah... hmm... I don't know what we're going to do about Eba-san," she frowned. "She was really mad. I'm... a bit scared, to be honest. "

I shrugged. "We'll think of something. She's future Yotsuba's problem now."

"Wow-- thank you for the gift, past Yotsuba! I'll make sure to cherish it!"

Despite myself, I laughed, and Yotsuba smiled at me again. The exhaustion was still present in her eyes, and in her face -- but the grin that lit up the room was back on her lips, and for a moment, all felt right in the world again.

"So... what should present Yotsuba do, since we've shoved all of her problems onto future Yotsuba?" she teased, gently punching my shoulder.

Getting up from the bench, I stretched my shoulders. Then, turning back around, I offered my hand to her, and helped her to her feet -- her touch light, if brief.

"That's easy," I said, a sombre look crossing my face. "We're out of time. Let's study."

Notes:

Hello everybody, hope you're doing well! I'm sorry this chapter was so late -- I had a number of things in my personal life (mostly work-related, unfortunately) come up that kept me away from writing. That combined with the time it took to get the second chapter of "A Sonata of Solitude" fully in order, and I just have been devoid of time. So, I'll do my best to get the next chapter out sooner rather than later -- but be forewarned! It may take a while. Hopefully not a month this time.

Speaking of which, it's been about a month since the last chapter, and a month is a longer amount of time than a day, and so that means we're officially past the one-year anniversary of "How We Met Again"! It's been a crazy year, but here's to more to come! I don't know yet if we'll finish before the second anniversary: but I hope you'll all be along for the ride!

Chapter 34: Insomnia

Chapter 34
Insomnia

"Wrong. Try again."

It was Saturday.

"D...Diffraction!"

"Wrong. Try again."

It was Saturday, and there were two days left until the first exam. Two days left until the culmination of Yotsuba's efforts. Two days left until we would have the final verdict on whether she had succeeded -- or succumbed to the ever-present threat of failure.

"Um... reflection?"

"Wrong. One more time."

Yet even as I sat on the couch in the Nakano apartment, my gaze locked onto Yotsuba's scrunching face, my main concern wasn't her academic prowess. In fact, in that moment, it was the furthest thing from my mind.

"Geez... uh... oh, wait. The light is bending... refraction?"

"Correct. Next card."

Instead, I was entirely preoccupied with the sheer exhaustion that was written across her face.

I'd arrived at the Pentagon early Saturday morning, and we'd gotten straight to work. A spread of snacks in front of us, gaps opened up on the coffee table -- we'd fallen into our usual pattern near effortlessly. Yet, as the hours slipped us by, absorbed seamlessly into the time-eating lope of constant activity, the small ball of worry in my stomach grew only stronger and stronger.

She needs to actually sleep .

Miku was holed up in her room, presumably spending time virtually with her friend in Tokyo, while Ichika and Itsuki had both independently left the house. While I was perfectly happy to have one-on-one study time with Yotsuba, the arrangement we found ourselves in had once again left us stuck with Nino as the only other person in the room.

Luckily, thus far, she'd managed to mostly keep her comments to herself.

"Um... Uesugi-san, I don't think I totally understand what this 'critical angle' thing is -- why is there a hard cut-off for when light has total internal reflection?"

"Look, it's in the math itself..."

As I explained Snell's law to Yotsuba, I could feel Nino's eyes occasionally glancing over at us. Or, maybe at me. It made my skin prickle slightly -- but there was nothing to be done. I had more important issues to deal with ; helping Yotsuba to study.

Though, perhaps an even higher priority was getting Yotsuba to rest.

As my eyes traced the contours of her face while I spoke, as they ran along the curve of her cheeks and the fullness of her lips, I could see the signs of her exhaustion, the strain of unrelenting effort. It seemed as though the intervening night since she'd announced her intention to focus on studying had done nothing to blunt the edge of her sleep deprivation.

If anything, the problem almost seemed worse.

"I think I see... so, it's the incident angle that allows a refraction angle of pi-over-two... that... that makes sense, I supp--"

"Yotsuba," I said quietly.

There was a moment of silence as I cut her off, Yotsuba just blinking at me. Then, tilting her head slightly, she looked at me inquisitively.

"Um... yes?"

"Don't take this the wrong way," I murmured, "but... let's stop. You need to rest."

"H-huh? Don't be silly, Uesugi-san -- I'm totally fine! I can handle at least this much!"

As she spoke, she dramatically flexed her bicep, grasping it with her hand. I silently raised an eyebrow , unconvinced . Yotsuba's eyes, trained on me, wavered... and then she looked back down at her textbook , slumping .

"Really... I'm fine," she murmured.

"I'm worried about you," I said softly. "I'm not blind. I can see that you're not recovered from what you were putting yourself through, trying to study and train at the same time. Your focus is shot, and your long-term productivity is going to deteriorate too."

"I can do this," Yotsuba said, gritting her teeth slightly. "I'm fine, Uesugi-san. I can keep going. I can't afford to take any breaks. It's... If I take too much time off, I won't make it."

"If you don't allow yourself to sleep, you also won't make it."

"You don't know that," she said, shaking her head vigorously. "I need to get as much studying in as possible. I didn't go to the track camp... and so, I owe it to Eba-san. I owe it to myself, too. I only have a set amount of time, and I need to use that time to make up for how far behind I am."

"I do know it," I said, frowning. "We had a similar situation when we were studying for the midterms -- and I was right back then. I'm right now."

"But I can't afford--"

"Yotsuba," I said, a harsh note inadvertently creeping its way into my voice. "If you keep going on this route you've chosen -- continually sacrificing your health in the name of achieving your goals -- it will eventually come back to bite you in the ass. Do you want to pass out during an exam, and fail by not finishing?"

"I--"

"Do you want to collapse on the track at the meet?"

Yotsuba seemed to falter, her jaw clenched as she looked away from me. I could tell she was wavering -- the look in her eyes, the hunch of her shoulders. I'd known her long enough to see the signs of her being on the edge.

The signs that she was on the verge of giving in.

"Don't make me bring out the big guns," I growled.

She turned to look at me, her eyes narrowed. "...What does that mean?"

I leaned back on the couch, and glanced behind me at my secret weapon. "Hey, Nino, can you help me with this?"

Yotsuba's eyes widened. "Wait, hang on-- Uesugi-san, that's playing dirty, I--"

Nino glanced up from her phone over at the kitchen table, and looked over at me. There was a complicated look on her face -- a layer of emotion that I wasn't totally sure I understood. That said, after a moment of silence, she sighed, and put her phone face-down on the table, the case clattering against the lacquered wooden surface.

Then, she rose, and walked over to the back of the couch. Glancing over at me, she flashed a brief scowl, and then looked down at Yotsuba's hunched over form. Reaching forward, she grasped each of Yotsuba's cheeks with her hands, and gently pulled her sister's head back until she was looking directly up at her.

"Yotsuba?" she said quietly.

"Y-Yesh?" Yotsuba squeaked, her cheeks squished by Nino's hands.

"Go take a nap. I really hate to admit it, but Uesugi's right. You've been overdoing it."

"No, I..."

"Yotsuba," Nino said, a hard tone entering her voice. "You're going to pass out if you keep this up. I'm worried about you -- and I know the others are too. You're doing too much. So, at least rest when you can."

"But--"

"Go."

Yotsuba's lip trembled... but then, after a moment, she swallowed, and closed her eyes. After a brief silence, Nino released her cheeks, and Yotsuba nodded, her ribbon moving limply along with her head -- tired, defeated cloth.

"...Ok," she whispered. Glancing over at me, there was a difficult to understand look in her eye. I hoped it wasn't resentment. I knew that I'd been guilty in the past of making the same bargain she had been making -- and she knew it.

Hopefully she doesn't hold this against me. I'm just...

"I'll come get you in an hour," I murmured. "Sound good?"

Yotsuba jerked her head quickly in assent, and then got up. With one final look at me, she walked over to the stairs, ascended them, and I lost sight of her -- the only further information I got was the sound of her door clicking shut a few seconds later.

The apartment was left in silence, Nino and I both staring up at the railing of the second floor.

A pause.

Then, Nino sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"This is getting ridiculous. Someone has to stop her; you're right, she's doing way too much."

I nodded, and Nino came around to the front of the couch to sit. Leaning with her arm on the back cushion, about a metre separating us, she clenched her jaw as she shook her head at me.

"So, a few nights ago," she said, "I got up at around two in the morning to go use the washroom... and as I was coming back upstairs, I saw that the light was still on in her room. I don't know what she's doing staying up so late, but I'm guessing it's studying. She's definitely not getting enough sleep."

"I knew it," I muttered, my fingers rising to rub my temples. "She's so desperate to pass these exams and succeed at the track meet, that I'm worried she's going to completely burn herself out."

"She is going to," Nino said pointedly. "So, if you don't want that to happen, you need to stop her. She might make it through the next few weeks intact... but if she keeps doing this in the long run, she's not gonna make it."

I frowned. "I agree, but why do I specifically need to be the one to get her to stop? Of course, I'm going to try; but you can clearly see the problem too. It's not like I'm the only one in her life."

"I've tried."

Nino lowered her head sideways to the back cushion, resting it on her arm. There was a complicated look on her face, an expression containing a multitude of emotions. Regret. Frustration. A touch of something else, something that I couldn't quite identify.

"I've been trying constantly to get her to slow down," Nino said, a note of bitterness in her voice as she stared down into the cushion, not looking at me. "I told her she was doing too much with the track team, and all this studying. It's obvious to all of us what it's doing to her... but she just won't listen to us."

Then, she glanced up at me, and shrugged. "But... I don't know. I think she'll listen to you instead. Maybe."

"What are you talking about?" I said drily. "She just listened to you, and not to me."

"Only because we tag-teamed her," she said, suddenly quiet. "She was about to give in anyways-- I could tell. Because you were the one asking her to stop. If it's just me, I... can't do anything about it on my own."

I furrowed my brow. This was... new. The look on Nino's face wasn't one I'd seen before. There was an introspective expression, as though she weren't quite seeing me at all; as though her eyes, trained on my face, were turned entirely inward. After a moment, perhaps she realized what she'd said, because she sat up and looked away from me. There was a moment of quiet, a sense of expectation.

Eventually, I was the one to break the silence.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked. "That it's because I'm the one asking her. You're her sister -- she should listen to you too, right?""

Nino glanced back at me, and rolled her eyes.

"Seriously? Listen, you're the one who set her on this path -- you're the one who made her do all this studying. What, do you think she's doing it because she just freakin' loves school?"

I shifted uncomfortably on the spot. "I didn't make her do anything. She was the one who wanted to study together. She's the one who set these goals in the first place. I just helped her try and reach them. It's not fair to blame me for her pushing herself too hard."

Nino sighed, and lowered her head into her palm; irritated, she waved her free hand dismissively at me.

"That's not the point I was trying to make, I-- ugh. Ok, look. You're, for all intents and purposes, her tutor--"

I bristled.

"Ok, fine, you're not her tutor, whatever. Who cares? The point is, when it comes to school stuff, she really respects you, even if what you're saying isn't what she wants to hear."

"...So?"

"So," Nino said emphatically, "we don't have that kind of relationship with her. I don't have that kind of relationship with her. I'm... I'm her sister, you know? We've always been the same. We've always been equal. We're all on the same level, I've always been her older sister... but that means I can't just tell her what to do. I'm not... I can't make her..."

She looked away from me again; but, in the moment before she turned, I could see a look of sheer frustration on her face. It was an expression I was unaccustomed to seeing on her -- I hadn't seen her with that look since I'd approached her in an abandoned classroom, trying to comfort her as she fled from Takeda's ham-handed care.

As Nino's lip trembled, I could feel my own drawing tight.

"Nino..."

She took a deep breath, and turned back to me. There was a glisten to her eyes, and I wondered for a moment if she was going to cry. The emotions on her face suddenly clicked into place as our eyes met; and I was struck by how much they resembled my own feelings.

They were identical.

She felt helpless.

"I hate this," she hissed. "I'm really worried about her, and what she's doing to herself... but I can't do anything to help her, and I have to leave things to you. Seriously, this sucks."

Well, that was uncalled for.

I sighed. Of course. Naturally, it wouldn't be a conversation with Nino without having barbs thrown at me seemingly at random.

"Well," I said drily, "despite how much you hate me, I'll do my best to live up to your expectations."

Nino froze.

A litany of emotions crossed her face -- a dozen feelings in tandem, none fully felt in their entirety, identifiable only by the whole which their parts constituted. Eventually, like colours of paint mixed together, they settled into a quietly hurt look, one which seemed to be subtly laced with regret. As I looked at her face, there was a creeping feeling that...

"I don't," Nino murmured.

A feeling that I'd fundamentally misunderstood something.

I blinked.

"Sorry?"

"I... I don't hate you," Nino muttered, looking away from me. "I just..."

Silently, I watched her. I didn't really know how to take what she was saying -- how to reconcile her words with my mental image of her; how to square the circle that was the enigma she'd long represented to me. She'd always been a puzzle -- the queen of mixed signals, hot and then cold, seemingly without an underlying cause. Yet, somehow, I felt as though the disparate pieces were on the verge of connecting.

"I just... can't bring myself to trust you," Nino finally said, pulling her stocking-clad feet up close to her on the couch, wrapping her arms around her knees to pull them in close to her chest. "You came in out of nowhere, and within like a week were all buddy-buddy with Yotsuba. Don't you think that's a bit suspicious? Then, she's suddenly all invested in studying, and she's driving herself to the edge with all of this and... I'm just really worried about her."

So... that's what it was.

My lips drawn, I looked down at the table in front of me, the half-finished remnants of Yotsuba's spread still littered across the surface, waiting for her return.

Yotsuba's lucky to have her.

"You really love her, don't you?" I said quietly.

"Uh, I mean... that's a bit..."

I raised my head, and looked over at her incredulously. She shifted uncomfortably under my gaze... and then eventually looked away.

"...Yes," Nino sighed. "Obviously, yes. She's my sister. Of course I love her -- and of course I'm worried about her. I'm still not sure if you're good for her, to be honest. Or whether we should trust you, or allow you into our home. You're not as bad as a certain other tutor, but... it's hard to trust someone whose influence is making Yotsuba behave like that."

I was silent; I didn't know what I could possibly say to that.

"Anyways--" Nino said, her voice raising slightly as she hid her embarrassment with volume, "you're the one who led Yotsuba into this situation. So... so, you get her to snap out of it!"

"I don't think your logic tracks," I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose. "But... I was going to try and do that anyways, without you telling me to do it. So..."

Nino shrugged-- but, there was a trace of a smile on her lips.

"Good."

Rising from her spot she stretched, and then began to make her way back over to the table where she'd left her phone. Then, hesitating, she paused at the end of the couch, and looked pointedly back at me. There was a look on her face as though she wanted to say something... but the words seemed to stick in her throat.

I met her eye, and whatever it was seemed to waver... and then become unstuck.

She took a deep breath.

"I'll... leave her in your hands, Uesugi. For now, anyways."

I blinked, and then nodded.

"Sure. ...Thanks."

Awkwardly, Nino nodded back, and resumed her walk towards the table.

"Also... I'm glad you don't hate me."

She paused again, and glanced back at me. The conflicted look seemed to come back across her face, as though there were more she wanted to say -- as though there were more that she was feeling in that swirling mixture that had adorned her face minutes earlier. Eventually though, she just shrugged.

"Yeah, well... whatever."

"Maybe we can be friends eventually."

She scowled. "Don't push your luck."

I laughed, to her apparent surprise. After a moment, she shook her head with a hint of amused exasperation, and returned to the table.

After a few minutes, during which the two of us had sat in silence, I grew restless. Nino's words about trust, and my influence on Yotsuba, were bouncing around in my head. Eventually, unable to sit still, I found myself slipping out onto the balcony, my coat wrapped around my shoulders, drawn close in the early December cold. The sun was high in the sky, and the panorama of Nagoya splayed out before me was one of a city in mid-day -- eternally far from the quiet dance of light and stars that had constituted my view on the nights I'd stood out in the darkness.

Leaning on the balcony, I breathed in the fresh winter air, and shivered despite the warm layers around me.

'...It's hard to trust someone whose influence is making Yotsuba behave like that.'

Mulling over Nino's words, I breathed in, closing my eyes.

Am I really doing what's best for Yotsuba?

A seed of doubt, ever-present in my stomach, barely suppressed in the wake of my encounter with Eba, began to sprout once more. I'd allowed things to get to where they were because I hadn't wanted to try and tell Yotsuba what to do. I'd wanted her to live her life how she chose -- without forcing my ideals onto her.

Yet, now, after allowing things to get this bad, I'd gone and done just that anyways.

And though it had only been a day, things still didn't seem to be improving.

In the end... am I just doing what's best for me? Just... forcing her to spend time with me instead of doing what she's...

Opening my eyes, I smacked myself in the cheeks, hands leaving a dull ache in my face in a pale imitation of Yotsuba's own technique for awakening from a reverie. Leaning back, I quietly shook my head.

No.

You're not wrong, Fuutarou. She's the one who laid out her goals. Helping her accomplish them isn't wrong. Helping her when she's being treated like a doormat isn't wrong.

And... getting her to rest isn't wrong.

I swallowed.

I just want what's best for her... but I also don't want to get in her way. I don't want to force her to do anything...

Guilt was swimming in the depths of my chest, like a swarm of sharks circling beneath the surface of the ocean, only detectable by shadows in the water, scarce noticeable from the surface; yet, nonetheless, the presence of which tinged the aura of everything else around it.

Closing my eyes, I groaned as a sudden realization hit me.

I'm still emotionally off-balance from the whole thing with Eba. That's what's causing this.

But...

There was an ugly feeling deep in my stomach, a coiling sensation that felt fundamentally different from the acidic feeling that had plagued me for weeks. That had recoiled at the sight of Yotsuba at Eba's side, that had demanded my action.

This was something new.

I wasn't totally sure what.

Subconsciously, my eyes were drawn back to the large glass window of the Nakano apartment -- and the view, partially obscured by the reflection of sunlight on the pane, of Yotsuba's door up on the second floor. Hidden away.

She was hopefully resting -- recuperating, in the brief time she had, for the final charge.

"You don't have time to be feeling sorry for yourself," I muttered, returning to the railing. Pulling in a deep breath, I clenched the steel bar, and closed my eyes. "You don't have time to be this pathetic."

Then, squaring my shoulders, I turned and re-entered the apartment.

I had a promise to keep.

It's time.

As I approached the stairs to ascend and get Yotsuba, Nino glanced over at me from the kitchen table. The complicated look was on her face again... and I could have sworn I could see the moment she decided to put whatever she was feeling aside. A smirk appeared on her face, and she leaned to the side with her cheek resting on her hand.

"Done moping?" she said haughtily. "Good. You have work to do, y'know."

I paused, halfway up the steps, and glanced down at her.

"Shouldn't you be studying too?"

Nino glanced away a little bit too quickly. "I'm fine. I don't need to do something like that."

"Is that so? So you'll definitely pass all five exams, right?"

She muttered something inaudible, which sounded suspiciously like the word "no".

"Sorry, what was that? I couldn't quite hear you," I said, the corners of my lips curling.

"I said-- ugh, whatever! God, you're annoying. Go get Yotsuba already!"

Chuckling to myself, I climbed the stairs, leaving a fuming Nino behind. As I reached the landing, I could hear her muttering all sorts of profanities to herself -- but it didn't sound like there was really any edge to them. Glancing back down at her from over the railing, I could see that she was restlessly tapping the table with her painted fingernails, the epitome of anxiousness.

I wonder how much of her abrasiveness is a front. To protect herself.

To protect her sisters.

I didn't have an answer.

As I reached Yotsuba's door, I raised my hand... and then hesitated. There was part of me, a selfish part, that wanted to let her keep resting. To grant her some measure of respite, and give her a chance to recover. To breathe. To sleep.

But, I couldn't.

She would be really upset.

Shaking my head, I rapped my knuckles on Yotsuba's door.

Knock knock knock.

There was a rustling noise from inside, a faint sound barely p ushing its way through the thick door . Quietly, I heard a groan, the sort of deep-seated subconscious emanation that betrays the depths of one's exhaustion. Biting my lip, I looked away , my chest hurting .

...I wish I didn't need to do this.

The door swung open a crack, and an extremely bedraggled Yotsuba peeked out. She looked as though a horde of wild elephants had trampled over her, and then thrown her willy-nilly about the room, her hair a living epitome of the word "bedhead".

" Uesugi-san ," she said bl earil y, swaying on the spot. " Uh... hi. I... feel weird. That was..."

I frowned , tilting my head . "Did you pick a fight with your bed?"

Yotsuba blinked at me, repeatedly. Then, she turned to look at her bed, which was out of my view from behind the mostly closed door. After a moment, she turned back to look at me -- and a bit of the light, which had so often been absent from her face, began to crawl into her eyes, her face splitting into a cheeky grin.

Ah.

That feels good to see.

"Shi shi shi-- yes, yes I did! It was a duel for the ages!"

"Did you win?" I asked, trying and failing to hide my amused smile.

Yotsuba nodded, a faux-serious expression on her face. "Absolutely. Darn thing didn't stand a chance -- I beat its booty five ways to Sunday!"

"Good. Kick its ass."

We looked at each other for a moment-- and then we both laughed. As we broke, the infectious chuckling spreading between us as a gas expand s to fill its container, I could feel a spark of warmth in my chest, a flame that spread like wildfire through my veins, radiating out from my heart.

The ugly feeling in my stomach, whatever it had been, let out a shriek in the face of Yotsuba's heat -- and disintegrated, turning into nothing but ash blown away on the wind.

Eventually, the laughter died down, and I frowned.

"Are you ready to keep going? Or... do you want to sleep a bit more?"

Yotsuba's faux-serious face morphed into a genuine one, the small tell-tale signs of her amusement melting away when faced with the reminder of the task that awaited her. After a long moment's pause, during which she looked back at her bed, she turned back to me, and silently nodded.

Forward, then. There's no more time to rest.

Not anymore.

Descending the stairs with Nino silently eyeing us up, we returned to the spots we'd cleared for ourselves at the coffee table that morning -- and threw ourselves back into our work. Social studies. Japanese literature. Math. As I read, I felt my eyes drawn back to Yotsuba; analyzing her, pondering her expressions, searching for more signs of tiredness. It was all I could do to stop myself from staring.

I'm still worried about her. An hour wasn't enough...

"Uesugi-san?"

Ideally, she'd get a lot of sleep tonight and tomorrow night, so that she's well rested for the exams -- but I somehow find the concept of her actually taking that time off difficult to believe.

"Uesugi-san!"

That said... maybe I can convince her. All I can really do is try, I supp--

"U-E-SU-GI-SA-N!"

I snapped out of my reverie to the sight of Yotsuba centimetres away from me. She took up the entirety of my vision; my everything was her face. Our eyes were locked together, her deep ocean blue temporarily holding mine in their embrace-- I could feel the warmth of her breath on my skin, could see the sudden tenderness in her look, in the light in her eyes.

The briefest of thoughts. The flash of a reflection in her eye as she moved. I was consumed.

Then, the moment broke, and I reared back.

"Eh?! Yotsuba, what's wrong?"

"Hmmm," she said, leaning away from me again. "Very suspicious -- but I guess it'll have to wait. Are you sure you're not the one who needs to go have a nap?"

I frowned-- there was something strangely infantilizing about the way she'd said that. Nevertheless, I shook my head.

"I'm fine -- just deep in thought. What can I help you with?"

"I bought a new reference book for math," Yotsuba said, frowning down at her textbook, "but I don't understand anything in here. It doesn't look like any of the stuff we've covered..."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I tilted my head slightly in thought. "That's a bit odd. Maybe it's building up to it from a different approach?"

"Hmm, maybe," Yotsuba said, frowning down at her textbook. "I just don't know what most of these things are. There are a lot of new terms here."

"I see..." I said slowly.

"Like... what the heck is a 'Virasoro Algebra'? Is it different from the algebra we've been doing in class? I was already having trouble with letters being in equations! Ugh, I... I feel so stupid..."

I frowned. "Alright, stop it. Give me that."

Yotsuba morosely handed over the book, and I gave the page she was on a quick glance over... and then froze in shock.

I didn't recognize any of the math on the page either.

What on earth...

Flipping back to the cover, and also looking at a few of the surrounding pages, it was very clearly a legitimate mathematics textbook. Yet... and yet...

"A Virasoro algebra is an algebra obeyed by generators of a two-dimensional conformal symmetry..." I read slowly. Staring at the page, I blinked slowly. It was something I hadn't experienced in a long time -- and yet also an emotion that had become achingly familiar in a completely different area of my life over the last month.

I had no idea what the hell any of this meant.

"Where the heck did you get this...?" I asked slowly, looking up from the book to stare at Yotsuba.

"Oh! Um... Dad went to Nagoya University for a conference about a week ago, and I asked him to pick me up an algebra reference book!" Yotsuba said. "This is my first time using it though."

Closing the book, I looked at the cover again.

Abstract Algebra: A Primer.

"Yotsuba," I said slowly, my frown slowly deepening.

"Y-Yes?"

"...I don't think this is an algebra textbook."

"What? But... but it says algebra on it! It--"

"It says abstract algebra," I said, shaking my head. "Not just algebra."

"...Isn't that the same thing?" she asked, almost seeming to shrink in on herself.

"I... don't know. I don't think so?"

Yotsuba seemed to get smaller by the minute.

"Oh... I... oh no. That textbook was really expensive..." she murmured, a note of guilt in her voice. "I... I feel bad, getting dad to waste his money like that..."

"Well," I shrugged, handing it back to her. "I guess you'll just need to study this... 'abstract algebra' thing in your spare time. After the exam."

"M-maybe," she said, an element of doubt creeping into her voice as she took it. "If... if I can find the time, maybe I--"

"That was a joke. Please don't start studying weird esoteric math on top of everything else."

"...O-oh. Right."

"Anyways," I said, waving my hand dismissively, "put it away. You have more pressing concerns than whatever the hell a... what was it called again? Whatever the hell a Virasoro algebra is."

Yotsuba buried her face in her hands, her face slowly turning redder and redder. I could empathize with her embarrassment -- but I wasn't sure what to say. Instead, I satisfied myself with reaching over and awkwardly patting her shoulder.

"Let's... let's just get back to work," Yotsuba eventually whispered.

"Sure," I said, the sympathy I was feeling spilling into my tone. "Let's stick to the usual reference books this time, ok?"

Head still in hands, she just groaned.

The subsequent hours ticked away, Yotsuba throwing herself further and further into her studies in part to assuage her embarrassment. Desperate to make up for the time she'd lost, and desperate to forget about her mistake.

Desperate to drive on, and on, and on.

As the sun began to set, its life shortened by the tilt of the Earth's axis and the hurtling of a ball of rock and water through the depths of space, the sky was cast into crimson red and brilliant orange, giving a faint amber lighting to Yotsuba's face as she peered down at the page below her, entirely enraptured in the task at hand as she was backlit by the giant glass windows..

She was consumed.

Strands of hair, gently falling over her face, illuminated by the sinking sun.

Beautiful.

I realized I was staring. Shaking my head, I looked back at my own work.

Idiot.

A rumble in the cage.

There was a clicking sound, and we both looked up, startled, to see the apartment door swing open. In quick succession, Ichika and Itsuki entered the room, taking off their coats and boots. They both looked exhausted; as Itsuki came over and flopped on the couch between Yotsuba and me, she let out a long groan. Ichika wandered over to sit on the other seat perpendicular to the couch, a tired yet satisfied look on her face.

"Hi," I said, looking down at the sprawled-out Itsuki.

She let out an indecipherable noise in response.

"I... take it that things didn't go well with Takeda?"

Vaguely affirmative sounds.

I looked over at Yotsuba, who shrugged. Itsuki eventually pulled herself up, and rubbed her eyes, evidencing how tired she was.

"There's just a lot, and no time, and Takeda-kun is... an enthusiastic teacher," she said delicately. "He's a lot better than he was, but there's still work to do there; and, I don't know... there's a long way to go."

"I see," I said quietly. "That's rough."

"I'm sorry your date went badly," Yotsuba said sombrely.

"W-W-- Date?!" Itsuki spluttered, jerking up straight and looking at Yotsuba. "No, I-- no! We were studying! It's not like that at-- ah, geez!"

Itsuki puffed up her cheeks in indignation -- and the outrage only grew worse as her sister began to snicker. Eventually, as Itsuki desperately attempted to convince her that she wasn't remotely interested in Takeda romantically, Yotsuba burst out into full peals of laughter.

"Well, I'm glad she's feeling better," I muttered to myself. Turning, I saw Ichika watching the proceedings with her usual quiet look of amusement. At some point, a steaming cup of tea had materialized in her hands.

"How was work?" I asked, ignoring the din behind me.

"Pretty good," she said, taking a sip. "Tiring, though. We had to take some re-shoo-- um, I mean... we had to do things over again due to a screw-up. So... that took a lot of my time. It's nice to have work though."

"I bet," I said quietly. "Are prospects improving on that front?"

"Mmm... we'll see," Ichika said, a thoughtful look on her face. "I'm hopeful, but... that thing in September was kind of my big shot, y'know?"

"I'm sure you'll get another one," I murmured. "You're working hard."

She smiled, a warmth crossing her face that so rarely allowed the mask to slip. "Thanks, Fuutarou-kun. I'll do my best."

"You'll do your best at what?" Nino asked from the kitchen, a suspicious look crossing her face. She had left the table, and was milling around the stove, making all the motions of preparing to make dinner. Ichika glanced over at her, and the honest look on her face was replaced with a lazy smile, the sort of expression that she so often wore -- the mask that hid her heart.

"Don't worry about it," she purred. "Work stuff."

"What do you do for work, anyways?" Nino frowned. "It seems--"

"Don't worry about it," Ichika repeated, cutting Nino off. Glancing back at me, she shrugged. "Anyways, that's how it is. I think I'm going to go take a quick nap in my room until dinner."

"Hey, wait-- at least tell me what you want for dinner!" Nino complained, reaching out a hand after her older sister as she ascended the stairs. Ichika gave her a wink, and I could practically see the steam blowing out of Nino's ears.

"That girl," she muttered under her breath, shaking her head. Then, looking over at me, she cocked an eyebrow. "Are you going to stay for dinner?"

"If that's ok with you," I nodded.

"Of course," she shrugged.

As she busied herself with working, my eyes followed her; and a frown slowly slipped over my face. It was strange -- despite Nino saying she didn't trust me, she seemed almost warmer somehow. As though my presence in her home was possibly more than just an inconvenience, even if it was only by the smallest of margins.

That, or it was all in my head.

"Uesugi-san?"

I glanced back over my shoulder to see Yotsuba looking at me -- and the unreadable expression that had so often crossed her face was there, for the briefest of moments. A tightening of her lips, a stiffening of her brow. Yet, in almost a blink of an eye, it was hidden away. She tilted her head, and then glanced down at the textbooks.

"Can we get back to studying?"

Maybe I imagined it?

"If you're done bullying Itsuki for going on a date, then sure," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Uesugi-kun, not you too!" Itsuki complained. "Give me a break here!"

"No," I smiled sweetly at her. Yotsuba started snickering again.

Eventually, we had dinner, Miku finally emerging from her room looking extremely satisfied, and Ichika being fetched by an extremely un satisfied Nino. As we ate, my eyes lingered on Yotsuba's face, searching for signs of exhaustion. They were still there; her short rest hadn't been nearly enough to make up for weeks of overexertion. Yet... maybe with a bit more ...

Yotsuba's eyes met mine as she caught me staring. Flustered, I looked away, my cheeks warming from within.

After dinner, we continued studying for a few more hours. Eventually though, we had to call it a night. As Yotsuba and I stood waiting at the bus stop far below the Nakano apartment, our breath visible in the cold winter air, I gently grasped her shoulder.

"Yotsuba, I have a mission for you tonight."

"Y-Yes?" she asked, her stuttering somewhere in the middle between nerves and chattering teeth. She'd forgotten her coat in the rush to follow me out as I'd hurried to catch the bus.

"Get enough sleep. The extra gain in studying at this point isn't worth the loss in cognitive ability. Do you understand?"

Yotsuba glanced away from me, a conflicted look on her face.

"I..."

"Yotsuba," I said sternly, a forceful note entering my voice.

She sighed, and pursed her lips.

"Well... maybe. But... I need to work hard, Uesugi-san. I can't... I can't just give up."

"You're not. You're resting," I said drily. "Those are two different words."

"Give up isn't a word," Yotsuba said, a cheeky smile slipping onto her face. "It's two."

I gently smacked the ribbon above her head, and she laughed.

"Smartass," I chuckled as the bus rounded the corner and approached. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Yep!" Yotsuba nodded.

Stepping onto the bus, I waved, and then I was carried away into the darkness, leaving Yotsuba to flee back inside out of the cold.

It was only when I got home that I realized she hadn't actually agreed to anything.

The next day was much the same -- I arrived at the Pentagon early in the morning, and we quickly got to work. Yotsuba had made strides over the last month, but I still wasn't entirely sure if it was going to be enough, even with all of her effort. The running club had taken a lot of her time and energy, resources that, by virtue of their absence, had put her at a disadvantage.

I t also didn't help that she'd obviously ignored the mission I'd given her the previous night -- the signs of exhaustion were even worse in the morning light, not better.

Yet, as we studied together , I was encouraged by what I saw.

We stand a chance. A good chance, even.

As the clock on the wall approached noon, there was suddenly a loud banging sound, and we both looked up towards the second floor to see a sloppily-dressed Ichika hanging over the balcony, a wild look in her eye.

"F-Fuutarou-kun! I got-- um, I mean... can I talk to you for a minute? Privately?"

I frowned.

"Uh, sure. Should... should I come up?"

"Sure!" she said, swinging back to the safe side of the balcony. "I'll be in my room."

"Make sure to put on clothes!" Yotsuba yelled up, a worried look on her face. As I glanced over at her, I could see the inscrutable look on her face once again -- and it gave me pause.

I don't have time to think about this in detail.

Shaking my head, I rose, and climbed the stairs. As I walked into Ichika's room, I froze... and then sighed.

It was a disaster zone -- clothes strewn everywhere, her desk cluttered beyond belief. Her bed was less a place of rest, and more a den, a hole in which an animal could hide, ensconced. Various undergarments were scattered about the room in broad sight, something which didn't seem to particularly bother their owner, who was seated cross-legged on the bed with an uncharacteristic look of near-giddy excitement on her face.

"So... what is it?" I asked, training my eyes on her face; the only safe place to look in the room. In accordance with Yotsuba's yelled warning, she was, thankfully , wearing a pair of shorts . The ratty t-shirt draped over her shoulders wasn't doing much work covering her up, though.

"I got a text this morning from my agent," Ichika said, oblivious to my discomfort. "I got... I got another chance! It's for a movie-- there's an audition for a huge part in a couple weeks' time, and I made the shortlist after sending in my portfolio!"

"Oh," I blinked. Then, what she'd said hit me, and I could feel my face suddenly splitting into a grin. "Well, hey -- what'd I tell you? That's amazing, Ichika. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Ichika grinned, practically radiating with joy. "You were the only one I could tell, since you're the only one who knows about... well, you know. I just... I had to get it off my chest. I have another chance !"

"Good job," I murmured. "I'm proud of you."

Ichika suddenly stopped moving as her face reddened. Laughing awkwardly, she glanced away from me self-consciously.

"Uh... thanks, Fuutarou-kun. I appreciate it."

"Make sure you do your best," I said drily. "I want all the perks of being friends with a movie star."

Ichika let out a laugh, a different sound from the carefully constructed melody I subconsciously associated with her mask. Somehow, it felt more... real. Then, she paused, and tilted her head at me.

"I... hmm," Ichika said, scrunching up her face. "Well... I guess that settles that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my frown deepening.

"Whether or not we're friends. We were undecided during the midterms, remember?"

I blinked at her in shock. "Ichika... that was months ago."

"Time is an illusion," she smiled lazily. "I already thought of you as a friend at the time anyways. I was just messing with you. I'm glad you feel the same way though, Fuutarou-kun."

As she said my name in a sing-songy tone at the end, I sighed, and lowered my head into my hand. "You... why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Hmm, I guess I'm getting predictable?" Ichika pouted. "Time to up my game."

"I'm going back downstairs," I scowled. "You can work on honing your teasing skills on someone else, at some other time."

Ichika's laughter followed me on the way to the door. As I stopped with my hand on the handle, I glanced back at her, and my scowl melted away to be replaced by a half-smile. Despite how much she teased me...

"I'm serious though. Congratulations. That's a big deal."

"Thanks," Ichika murmured, a small, genuine smile making its way onto her face. "I'm... really excited. Nervous. But, excited."

Nodding, I slipped out the door, and descended back down the stairs. Yotsuba eyed me up, a carefully neutral look on her face -- I could tell just by glancing at her that it was constructed. It was obvious, in every aspect of her look.

"So," she said casually, looking down at her textbook. "What was that about?"

"She just had some news she wanted to share with me," I said, imitating her casual pose, staring down at my own.

"I... I see."

There was a moment of silence between us, broken only by the quiet sound of the clock on the wall ticking.

Yotsuba glanced up, and looked over at me -- I could see her movement out of the corner of my eye. Training my focus on the words in front of me, the black ink simply wavered on the page, like water gently lapping at the shore; only going so far, doomed to eventually be drawn back. None of it was entering my mind. All of my attention was drawn to the half-seen sight of her eyes, trained on me.

Watching.

Inspecting.

A shiver went down my spine, and I subtly shook my head.

"That really was all it was," I said, not looking up from the textbook. "Nothing more."

"O-Oh!" Yotsuba suddenly stuttered -- and as I glanced over at her, I could see her cheeks suddenly beginning to redden at being caught. "Sorry, I... I wasn't trying to accuse you or anything! I was just..."

She trailed off, and then suddenly violently shook her head.

"Sorry, I was being dumb. Please forget about it, Uesugi-san! Let's get back to studying!"

"Sure..." I said uncertainly.

We both resumed studying -- silent, awkward. Every so often, I would catch Yotsuba stealing glances at me... and just as often, I would peek over at her, only to also meet her eye.

Slowly, easily, we settled back into routine, the tension fading into the background, nothing more than a static backdrop. A subliminal thing; after a time, I was hardly even aware of it. After that, after we slowly grew comfortable again, studying got easier, the words beginning to flow; eventually, hours had passed, consuming the day.

I was hopeful. More-so, even, than before the midterm.

"Alright, this is it. Final practice test before the final."

Reaching into my bag as the sun set, I pulled out a practice test I'd made for Yotsuba the previous night, and handed it to her. Looking down at it, she gulped, and squared her shoulders.

"I'll... I'll do my best!"

Looking at her gathering her will, I was struck by a sudden urge -- and I reached over to rest my hand on her shoulder.

"You've got this," I smiled. "You've been working your ass off for literally months at this point. I believe in you."

Yotsuba had turned to look at me as the hand came to rest on her shoulder -- and as I finished speaking, I could see her eyes suddenly brim with tears. Concerned, I pulled my hand back.

"Yotsuba--?!"

"Ah-- sorry," she said, half-laughing as she wiped her eyes, her cheeks reddening. "That just kind of caught me off-guard. I've... just been putting a lot of myself into all this, you know? So... hearing you say that... really kind of..."

After a moment's hesitation, I reached out again, and rested my hand back on her shoulder. Reaching up, she grabbed the top of my hand, and squeezed it gently for a moment.

"Thanks, Uesugi-san," she said softly. "I... I think I actually really needed to hear that."

At her touch, electricity ran up my arm -- and for that brief moment, all of my awareness was focused in on that one spot. That one spot where skin met skin, where I could feel the warm touch of her hand. With the brief pressure, I could feel my face heat up; but, I didn't want to withdraw; didn't want to move.

"Well," I said, glancing away, my free hand subconsciously rising to fiddle with my bangs. "It's the truth... so..."

As she let go of me, turning back down to look at the practice test I'd made for her, I hesitantly pulled back -- and as pencil came down onto paper, I was momentarily lost in thought as I stared at my hand.

A purring from within the cage.

Shivering, I returned to my own studying.

Eventually, with a groan, Yotsuba finished -- and, flopping back onto the couch, she seemed to almost melt into the fabric.

"Bleeeeh... done."

"Good job," I smiled, grabbing the test. "Now... to see how you did."

Pulling a red pen out of my bag, I began marking the practice test. At first, I'd been concerned -- reading over the first few questions, she'd started off with a streak of wrong answers. However, as I progressed, the situation changed; the first section had been math, and Yotsuba had simply been a bit slow to get going. By the end of the test, I was blinking in surprise.

"Um... Uesugi-san?" Yotsuba asked from her place where she'd become one with the couch. "How... how'd I do?"

"Uh... I'm trying to figure out how to say this..."

Yotsuba blanched.

"It's... it's that bad?" she asked, a note of despair entering her voice.

"Ah-- no, sorry. It's more... one of two possibilities. Either I badly miscalibrated the practice exam... or you've improved a lot. More than I thought."

Yotsuba's eyes, furrowed from her initial reaction, suddenly grew as wide as saucers; as I handed her the test, and she saw the "65%" circled on the front, her jaw dropped.

"I... what?!"

"It's a product of your hard work," I said quietly. "Well done."

Yotsuba slowly looked up, her eyes still wide. Wordlessly, she stared at me; then, after a long moment, she quietly looked back down at the test.

Silently, we sat, unmoving.

Then, shaking her head, she put the stack of papers down.

"I... need to not get carried away," she breathed. "The real thing starts tomorrow... so, I can't get carried away with this... right?"

"Right," I said.

There was another long moment of silence.

Then, Yotsuba let out a squeal of excitement, and turned to grab my arm. Shaking it, I could almost see the excited light in her eyes.

"But... but... Uesugi-san, I-- I did it! I got over 50%! I did it!"

"You did," I finally smiled. "You should be proud of yourself."

As Yotsuba bounced in her seat, I could feel a smile crossing my face. After everything that we'd been through, after the months of studying... seeing an objective measure of how far we'd come was an incredible feeling. It was like hiking up a mountain, and then turning around and seeing how far you'd climbed. A completely incomparable feeling.

That said...

"You know, I can tell you an easy way to get a free bonus one-percent boost on your score for the real test, though," I said, a teasing tone slipping into my voice.

"Hmm?" Yotsuba asked, still elated.

"Make sure to get a good, solid sleep tonight. No more studying at two in the morning, ok? You're hitting diminishing returns in terms of cramming."

Yotsuba opened her mouth... and then closed it again.

Then, she pouted.

"Uesugi-saaaaaaaaan, how did you know I was studying at two in the morning?!" Yotsuba whined.

"I'm not stupid," I said drily, suppressing the laugh that was building up in my chest. "You're not exactly subtle."

Also, a little birdie told me...

After a long moment of pouting at me, Yotsuba finally cracked, and laughed. Once it died down, she nodded. "...Fine. I'll do my best."

"That's all I can ask of you," I said, smiling at her.

Glancing out the window at the pitch-black night outside, I sighed, and rose to my feet.

"Anyways, I should probably head home," I said, stretching; I'd been stuck in that position for hours at that point. Yotsuba glanced outside as well, and then at the clock on the wall. Then, with a face that could only be described as glum, she nodded.

"I... guess so..."

As I walked over to the door to grab my coat, Yotsuba seemed conflicted about something. As I finished putting it on, she hesitated with her hand half-extended... and as I slipped on my shoes, she had a look on her face that seemed almost as though she were choking something down. As though there were some thought that had caught hold of her, and she was wrestling it into submission to stop it coming out of her mouth.

A battle with which I had far too much experience.

"Well, Yotsuba, I--"

"Uesugi-san, you should spend the night," Yotsuba said at the same time as me, losing her battle. "That way we can keep studying as late as we want!"

I froze, my hand halfway towards the door handle. My mind was suddenly blank -- it was as though, mid-operation, it had been rebooted by force. Eventually, after a long moment, I turned back towards her; and I could feel my face igniting with red heat.

"Um-- sorry, come again?"

Yotsuba's face matched mine, beet-red and growing increasingly crimson by the second. Yet, there was a look of quiet determination there -- which was reflected as she shook her head through her embarrassment.

"You should stay," she repeated, quieter this time. "For... for studying."

I just stared blankly at her.

My entire mind was concentrated on something else entirely.

Namely, containing the beast that had violently thrown itself at the bars of the cage in my chest. Iron shrieking, steel twisting, it was held together by only thin wiry strands of metal at that point. It was taking everything I had to keep it sealed. To stop the beast escaping.

To stop my impulses from taking me into unknown territory.

Precarious. Painful. I had been on the verge of giving in.

But, barely, I managed to fight the beast within back into the depths of the shadows.

For now...

"I really appreciate the offer," I finally said softly. "But... I really want to get a good night's sleep before the exam... and that's not going to happen if I sleep here."

"But I can sleep in Miku's room and then you could have--"

I shook my head. "I'm going to pass this time, Yotsuba. I'm sorry."

"Oh..."

Yotsuba seemed to visibly deflate in front of me... and a pang of guilt rang through my heart. Leaning forward, I looked around the room -- none of the other sisters seemed to be present, barring the possibility of someone secretly peeking from the second floor. Nevertheless, I kept my voice low. I didn't need to give any of them more ammo.

"That said," I murmured in her ear, "I... wouldn't say no in the future. So... um... please invite me again."

Yotsuba's face, if possible, seemed to grow even redder; as I pulled back, she just let out a quiet squeak, before nodding silently. I could feel my own face burning in turn... and so, with a hasty farewell, I exited the apartment, fleeing down to street level on my own.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I stepped out the front door, the beast's resentful growls echoing throughout. Desperately, I tried not to think about Yotsuba's proposal, even if I knew she hadn't meant anything untoward by it.

...Probably.

That said...

What on earth was she thinking?

As I stood at the bus stop, my coat wrapped tight around me, I looked up at the towering apartment building above me -- at the distant balcony, far above. It was just my imagination seeking patterns in the dark of the night, but I thought I saw a ribboned figure looking down on me from above; watching.

Shaking my head, I got on the bus as it pulled up.

As the bus gently shook driving down the street, I pulled out my phone and shot off an e-mail to Itsuki, recruiting her to make sure that Yotsuba actually slept. She eventually responded in the affirmative, the formality with which she messaged brought a rueful smile to my face; even virtually, she couldn't relax.

Sliding the phone back into my pocket, I closed my eyes, and sighed.

One more day...

Turning to press my face against the cold glass, I opened my eyes and stared out into the darkness of the night... and my mind wandered back to the day before, leaning against the railing on the balcony as Yotsuba slept. Back to when I'd realized how the encounter with Eba had quietly shaken me.

But... why?

Running over the events of the confrontation in my mind, I could feel the frown on my face growing as I watched the lights flashing by. There was a common thread there -- some underlying source of discomfort, of unhappiness.

Why am I so unsettled, even now?

Pictures flashed in my mind; Yotsuba standing a half-step behind her captain. Yotsuba walking with a duffel bag flung over her shoulder, exhausted. Burned out .

Broken.

Yotsuba leaving our study session weeks before, unannounced, to go to track solely on Eba's whim.

A long pause, pressed against the cool pane of glass... and then a slow, soft release of air, like the gentle collapse of a balloon with a small leak; deflated, losing volume by the second, flattening.

It wasn't because of Eba.

"I wanted her to be the one to decide," I whispered to myself aloud. "I wanted her to choose me on her own. By herself."

Closing my eyes, I was silent for a moment. Then, leaning back in the seat, I let out a long sigh.

"Childish."

It was.

Yet, it didn't change the truth of how I felt.

She still chose me in the end. So... I shouldn't feel like this.

It's wrong.

Stepping off the bus a few minutes later, I began the short walk back to our apartment, trying to fight back the irritation I was feeling with myself. Climbing up the stairs, I was greeted upon opening the door by an enthusiastic Raiha, and my only slightly more demure father. We had a late dinner, made by my sister, and then I got ready for bed.

As darkness settled into the room, laying in the comforting embrace of my futon, I stared up at the ceiling... and slowly, my irritation melted away as thoughts of the next day began to creep back in. Despite there being no outside stimulus, I could feel my heart beginning to race.

Fear. Nerves.

A mental image of Yotsuba's wan face, marred by exhaustion.

I'm still worried about her.

I could still feel the phantom sensation of where she'd touched my hand; where she'd gripped it, squeezing my skin as a show of connection. There was a warmth there, a heat that stretched up my arm; a feeling locked in combat with the icy claws of the anxiety that was in turn creeping its way up my spine, laughing quietly as it slithered its way around my heart. The two fought... and drew to a stalemate.

Rolling over onto my side, I stared at the small window in the apartment wall, and the occasional flashing lights of the cars driving by outside. Staring into the sporadically shattered darkness, I clenched my jaw.

The finals began tomorrow. The track meet was in a matter of weeks. No matter how worried I may have been...

There was absolutely nothing I could do. Everything was completely out of my hands.

In fact... it had never truly been in my hands to begin with.

Yotsuba's choices were Yotsuba's alone to make.

I couldn't make them for her. I couldn't live her life for her. All I could do was watch, advise, and do my best to be there for her. To support her.

To care for her.

One day more.

Notes:

This is the longest I've gone without posting a chapter for this fic... possibly since I started writing it. A mixture of work, writer's block (in terms of just getting words on the page) and doing edits for my other fic, "A Sonata of Solitude", combined into an unholy fusion of delay. I'm sorry for the long absence; I'm really going to try to not make a habit of it! That said, we're officially at the halfway point of this arc. What lies in store in the second half? I suppose you'll just have to wait and see!

Chapter 35: Lost Connections

Chapter 35
Lost Connections

Far in the north, at the ends of the world, winter days are things of light and sun and blistering, ever-pervasive cold. Moisture in the air is entirely incapable of condensing, molecules unable to even cling to one another's tender hydrogenic grasp. Frozen, they dance in mesoscopic crystals, refracting light in arcs around the sun to create breathtaking parhelia; sundogs, faithfully bounding at their master's side.

Beauty, visible only in the grasp of the extreme. A sight reserved for those on the edge, for worlds so cold that temperature scales converge.

Winter in Nagoya was not like that.

"Pencils down."

Rain gently pelted against the window, sliding down the glass panes. As the final exam finished on Wednesday morning, I shifted in my seat, attempting to fight down my irritation. I'd finished the science exam two hours prior -- yet, the invigilating teacher had, for some completely unfathomable reason, not permitted me to leave my seat, forcing me to sit and stare out the window. Stewing in my own thoughts, I'd spent nearly the whole time worried about Yotsuba.

Consuming myself with the delusion that I had a semblance of control over what was to come.

It's over, anyways.

Rising, and shaking my head at the teacher in disgust as I left, I made my way to the cafeteria for lunch. While we technically didn't have classes in the afternoon, I'd planned to stay and study in the library as a means to decompress; therefore, despite my wallet's protestations, it didn't make much sense for me to go home.

After ordering my typical inexpensive lunch, I settled into my usual spot. Uneasily, I shifted in place, cracking my chopsticks.

The library wasn't my only reason for staying. I was also hoping to get lunch with Yotsuba and debrief. I could feel the worry of the previous two hours gnawing away in the depths of my chest; a deep-seated desire to reach out to her, to get assurance, to get some kind of progress report.

Not knowing was deeply uncomfortable. It was like there was an itch that I couldn't scratch driving me mad.

The chair across the table pulled back, scraping across the floor, and I looked up hopefully-- only to see Takeda sliding into the seat across from me.

"Um... hello...?"

"Hello!" Takeda said brightly, settling down his tray.

"...Can I help you?" I asked drily, the spike of irritation I felt almost certainly leaking into my voice. It's not his fault he isn't Yotsuba.

"I just wanted to debrief about the exams," Takeda said. "As you know... I've been providing additional tutoring sessions for Nakano Itsuki, which I hope helped. The others, though..."

I opened my mouth... and then bit back the retort I'd been about to make about how there was no point in having this discussion after the exams had already happened.

I could hear the quivering in his voice, not-quite-hidden by the false lightness of his tone.

It was a façade.

Takeda was frightened.

After a long silence, I pinched the bridge of my nose, and closed my eyes.

"Right... so," I muttered, "From the sound of it, Itsuki's probably more or less ok, then? How are you feeling about the others? It doesn't seem positive."

Takeda shifted uncomfortably in the chair, poking down at his food.

"I don't know that even calling Nakano Itsuki's prospects 'ok' is correct, Uesugi-kun. Her positioning is simply the best of the four; but frankly..."

Opening my eyes, I looked across the table at him -- and I realized that there was the barest trace of shadow beginning to form under his eyes.

"I would be astounded if any of them passed all five exams," Takeda said bluntly.

An uncomfortable feeling was settling in the depths of my stomach. Despite everything, despite our tumultuous relationship, I could empathize with the deep-seated frustration and resignation in Takeda's murmured words.

At least at the end, he's been trying his best.

Yet... too little.

Too late.

Then, something he'd said made me pause.

"Wait... of the four? There are five of them."

A dismissive noise came from Takeda as he batted a hand at me. "Right, yes, but I wasn't counting Nakano Yotsuba. She's being tutored by me, it's true, but I think we both know who's done the majority of the work there. I have no concerns on that front."

Frowning, I tilted my head. "Really? None? I'm not even entirely certain she'll make it."

"Uesugi-kun," Takeda said, a note of genuine amusement creeping into his voice, "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit of a pessimist?"

"What? No, absolutely not," I scoffed. "I'm not a pessimist. I just try to temper my expectations -- I also never go too far in the other direction either. I'm a realist."

"Hmm. Well, regardless, I have no concerns about Nakano Yotsuba. I'm absolutely confident she'll be completely fine."

Fine...?

There was a ball of stone in the depths of my stomach; somehow, hearing Takeda's assurances about Yotsuba did nothing to assuage my worry. I wanted to believe it -- but every time I tried, an image of her exhausted face rose to the forefront of my mind. Of the way she'd looked in the days leading up to her walking out onto the field with Eba en route to their training camp; stretched out too thin, strained to a tearing point.

Breaking.

I certainly believed she was capable of passing the exams.

That isn't the same thing as being fine.

"Well, unfortunately," I said quietly, "things are out of your hands now. All you can do is trust that they've done their best."

"That's... that's true," Takeda sighed miserably, the mask of false levity momentarily slipping. "Well... I'll leave you be. I would imagine you managed to get to all of your own studying as well -- I've got no worries on that front either, despite how much I would certainly love to beat you without a fight."

Despite myself, I could feel a smirk cross my face. "Yeah... dream on. I wouldn't go down that easily."

"Good," he said, a smile coming back across his face. "Well, I shall see you later, dear Uesugi-kun!"

Silently, I wondered how much of his grin was real.

"Yeah, sure. See you."

Takeda rose, sliding back the chair -- and as he did so, I heard footsteps. Glancing over to my right, I saw Yotsuba approaching with her own tray in hand. She looked between Takeda and me uncertainly, but Takeda simply gave her an over-the-top bow and left.

As he walked away, I could see the unsteadiness in his step. The quiet shaking in his shoulders.

The gait of a man doomed to the gallows.

...I guess I have another person to be worried about.

"So?" I asked quietly, attempting to stifle the sympathy rising in my throat as I glanced over at Yotsuba. "How was it?"

After sliding into the previously occupied seat, she frowned as she dug into her food. "It's... kind of hard to say. It helps that math was the last exam, since I had some extra time to study... but I never really have a good idea of how I did on these sorts of things, you know?"

"That's... fair, I guess. Well, it's out of our hands now," I shrugged. That didn't help.

"Mmm. Dasz troo," Yotsuba said.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," I sighed.

Yotsuba held up a finger, finished chewing, and then swallowed. Then, with a shrug, she put her chopsticks down.

"That's true," she repeated, her voice strained. "Besides, as much as I worked really hard for these exams... I don't really have time to think about them anymore, you know?"

"...Because of track?"

Yotsuba nodded, and lowered her head to her hands.

"Well... I've gotta do what I've gotta do... don't have time to rest."

She let out a quiet sigh, and then was silent, unmoving.

My eyes traced over her red hair, tumbling in strands around her shoulders, her ribbon drooping over like a wilted flower. There was a pallor to her, a colour to her face that set me on edge. The lead-up to the exams, and the remaining runway to the track meet, had taken so much out of her... I could feel my heart clenching.

She's at her limit.

"Yotsuba..."

"Yeah?" she asked, not looking up at me.

"...Your hair is in your soup."

Rearing back, eyes wide, she grabbed hurriedly at the tips of her hair -- and then seemed to almost deflate as she found that they were, in fact, sopping wet.

"Oh no," she groaned, her face reddening. "That's really embarrassing, I--"

"Don't worry," I said, trying and failing to suppress the laugh which was attempting to force its way out of my chest. "I won't tell anyone."

Yotsuba muttered under her breath, and then excused herself to run to the washroom to wash her hair. As she left, I shook my head, and looked down at the table.

She really is tired...

Yet, despite myself, I could feel my heart rate suddenly pick up.

Whispered words, not meant for my ears.

"I didn't want you to see."

My hand unconsciously rising to my bangs, I scanned the room as a means to distract myself from the influx of thoughts nibbling at my mind. The grinding of claws against the bars of the cage in my chest; not quite enough to break through, not yet.

Enough, though, to create a shrieking, ringing sound like nails on a chalkboard in my mind.

Get a grip.

Yotsuba eventually returned, embarrassed, and we finished our lunches. I left for the library, while she went home.

I hoped it was to rest.

I knew it was to begin training.

Already.

We still had classes over the intervening weeks before winter break -- and so it was eight days later, sitting in my chair next to the window, that the teacher finished their lecture, and then moved to stand at their lectern, bringing the whole class to a standstill in anticipation.

"Alright everyone," he said, pulling a messenger bag out from the alcove in the stand's interior. "I have your marks for the final exams here. Please come up as I call your name, and I'll hand out your results."

I was summoned shortly thereafter -- "Uesugi Fuutarou" -- and rose from my seat. Coming to the front of the class, the teacher pulled out a slip of paper, and handed it to me.

"Well done as usual, Uesugi-kun," the teacher said none-too-quietly, smiling warmly at me. "Top of the grade, as always."

"Thanks, Sensei," I murmured, receiving the slip. Returning to my seat, I could feel the glares of my classmates on me -- it made my skin crawl. Yet, glancing over at Itsuki, she gave me a thumbs up; and I smiled at her.

At least not everyone in the class hates me.

A few minutes later, she was called, and Itsuki rose from her seat. Nervously walking up to the front of the class, she glanced over at me; and as I returned the affirmative gesture she'd given me, she seemed to relax slightly. If only for a moment, she smiled -- though it didn't do much to hide the anxiety in her eyes.

As Itsuki took her slip of paper from the teacher and returned to her desk, my eyes were trained on her -- she held in her hands more than just her own fate. Takeda's immediate future rode, at least in part, on her scores as well.

Slipping into her chair, she put the report down on the table. Then, drawing a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, and flipped the paper over.

I could see her eyes moving. Scanning the page, looking over the results.

Looking at her successes.

Her face scrunched up, her eyebrows drawing in. Her lips tightening, I could see the emotion crossing her face... and then she quietly slammed a fist down on the table, and lowered her head to her hands. My chest contracted, instinctively reacting emotionally to what I was seeing before my mind could catch up and process it intellectually.

Itsuki's shoulders shuddered.

Failure.

Takeda was a dead man walking.

As the final student received their exam score, and the teacher departed the room, I immediately rose from my chair and hurried over to Itsuki's desk, standing over her huddled form.

"How bad is it?" I asked quietly.

Itsuki took a moment to respond, her head still buried in her hands. Eventually, she just took the slip of paper and handed it to me without looking up.

 

---

Name : Nakano Itsuki

Japanese: 43. Math: 35. Science: 68. Social Studies: 27. English: 38.

TOTAL: 211

---

 

I stared down at the sheet for a long moment, before finally looking up at Itsuki.

"You know, this is pretty good," I said softly. "If I remember correctly, you got a hundred on the midterms -- so, this is a massive improvement. Actually, come to think of it... Yotsuba got two-hundred-and-eight on the midterms. So... you even beat her score from then. You should be proud."

Itsuki laughed, and raised her head -- but there was no humour in her laugh, and I could hear a shaking in her voice, the tell-tale sign of tears suppressed, relentlessly bound until she was alone.

Never to be shown in front of me.

Never to be shown in front of anyone.

"It's not good enough," she said blandly. "I still failed, Uesugi-kun."

I frowned, unsure of what I could say. Itsuki swallowed, and then looked back down at the page.

"I wasn't good enough."

Lowering her head further into her arms, she took a deep, shuddering breath, and then let it out again slowly. For a long moment, she was still, silent. Yet, there was a thickness to the air, a discomfort; as though she were on the verge of saying something, of shaking it off, of driving forward, of--

"Sorry, Uesugi-kun," she murmured. "I... think I need to be alone for a while."

I hesitated, my hand outstretched... and then, withdrawing it slightly hurt, I nodded.

"If you're sure. I'll see you later Itsuki."

She made a small affirmative noise, her face still hidden, and I returned to my desk. Grabbing my bag, I threw it over my shoulder, and made to leave the room. As I reached the door, though, I turned back to look at her.

"Itsuki?"

No response.

"You're worth more than just your exam grades. I just want to make sure you know that."

No response.

I left.

The halls were packed with students -- and with them came every possible combination of emotion. Glee. Sorrow. Apathy. Terror at the prospect of a winter vacation filled with remedial exams, and relief at the narrow avoidance of such a fate.

A world from which I'd spent four long, hard years divesting myself.

There was only one possible answer for me: perfection.

Yet, now... now, I wasn't just worried about myself.

Getting a perfect grade for myself wasn't enough.

It hadn't been enough for a while.

My phone buzzed as I aimlessly walked through the hallways. A message from Yotsuba -- asking to meet at the school entrance before she went to track practice.

Adrenaline.

Anticipation.

Fear.

Diverting my path, I made my way down to the footlockers, breath catching in my throat the entire way.

When I arrived, she was already there, duffel bag haphazardly slung over her shoulder.

"Well?" I asked, not standing on ceremony as I approached.

Wordlessly, she handed me a slip of paper -- but I already knew the answer just from looking at her eyes.

 

---

Name: Nakano Yotsuba

Japanese: 68. Math: 39. Science: 51. Social Studies: 56. English: 48.

TOTAL: 262

---

 

Silence.

I looked up at her.

There was fire in her eyes, and flame in her hair, a conflagration barely contained by the pale skin that was trembling before me.

Vindication.

Victory.

Victory.

The dam finally burst as exhausted, satisfied joy spread out across her face as floodwaters coursing over flatlands; unstoppable, unrelenting, enveloping all in its path. She was dazzling -- and I was blinded by her light.

All the hours upon hours of gruelling, relentless study. The weeks and months of hard work. The sacrifice, the frustration of failure, the bitter taste of her previous defeat. The ever-present spirit of determination to rise up again, despite everything.

To drive onwards. To always drive onwards.

In the glow of her ecstasy, she was beautiful.

A roar, deep in my chest.

A midnight paw, slamming against steel.

Threadbare iron, rotted away by rust and time and repeated assault, snapped.

For the second time, for only a fraction of a moment, the beast was free of the cage.

And I moved.

Stepping forward, I embraced her, and drew her tight. Enveloping Yotsuba in my arms, I hugged her; face pressed into my shoulder, ribbon twitching next to my ear. My hand, against the fabric of her shirt between her shoulder blades, pulling her in towards me.

"Yotsuba," I murmured, my lips a short way above her ear. "I just... I'm really, really proud of you."

There was a squeak from Yotsuba, slightly muffled by my vest... but then, I felt her slender arms slide around my waist, and she squeezed as she returned the hug. There was a prolonged moment of silence as she pressed against me -- and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, screaming for release, for egress.

Deep inside, the beast was waging war, fighting against the suppressive force driving it back towards the shell of the cage.

Forcing my desires back within.

But for now, freedom.

I pulled her tighter.

"It doesn't feel real."

The words, whispered, were still crystal clear to my ear. Yotsuba's face was buried in my chest, and I could feel the gentle trembling that was running through her body -- relief, exhaustion, joy, a slow deflation of the ball of stress that had been filling her for over a month; detectable only in its absence, a homogeneous background that had filled her life since we'd returned from the camping trip.

Longer, really.

"I bet," I murmured. "You've worked really hard for this."

"Mhmm."

Yotsuba eventually drew back, out of my arms -- and despite the fact she wasn't quite looking me in the eye, I could see the pink hue that had rapidly stolen its way across her face. A part of me felt empty in her absence. A part of me desperately wanted to reach out again; to pull her back into my arms, to hold her close, to never let her go.

That part of me was in the process of being forced back into the cage with polearms and spears and threats of annihilation.

"I, um," Yotsuba laughed nervously, her face filled with colour. "I'm really grateful, Uesugi-san. For all your help, I mean."

I just nodded wordlessly. There was suddenly a kind of awkwardness to the air -- as if we both weren't quite sure what to say. I was growing increasingly aware of our surroundings; of the fact we were at the front doors of the school, that we weren't alone, that there were people. They'd mostly not seen us... for now.

Deep in my chest, the beast screamed for its release. Roars, echoing out past the hastily-repaired bars.

Demanding I touch her. Demanding I pull her back to my breast, to feel the warmth of her skin against my own.

Another padlock.

Another layer of barbed wire.

Another attempt to close the hole in the steel, flimsy fixes growing weaker and weaker with each escape.

"Well," I finally said, glancing away. "You're not done yet. There's still a race for you to run..."

"R-right..."

"...and you still have to pass the next exam," I said, looking back at her. "You have to do it all again in the winter term."

Yotsuba straightened up at that, her cheeks still red -- and she nodded, a serious expression coming across her face.

"I'll do my best!"

I nodded again, and Yotsuba's eyes lingered on me for a moment... before she seemed to get a little more red, and then glanced away.

"Anyways, um... I need to run to my track meet now. Oh, heh... that's ironic. Uh... I'll see you later, Uesugi-san!"

Grabbing her duffel bag from where it had fallen to the floor, she threw it over her shoulder, and ran out the door. Watching her jog away, her ribbon shaking with each step she took, I could feel the tingle of the spots where she'd been in contact with me. The electricity of what remained of her touch.

"I'll be there however long you want me to be."

The words, half-whispered, came unbidden from my mouth. She was far beyond earshot. The words weren't even really for her; unknowable, they lingered in the air, far away from her.

A spoken truth, only for myself.

Shaking my head, I turned and walked back into the school.

Even with exams over, I couldn't allow myself to rest.

As I rounded the corner to the library, I thought I saw a flash of red hair -- a girl at the other end of the hallway. Yet, at this distance, I couldn't be sure which quintuplet it was, save Yotsuba. From the way they were hunched over, as though guarding themselves, as though they were protecting their core from the cruel outside world, I suspected it was Itsuki.

As I stared at where she'd been, my phone began to ring.

I already knew who it was before I picked up.

"It's over."

A choked up voice on the other end of the line. The raspiness of someone barely holding back tears... or having just finished spilling them.

"Takeda..."

The line went dead.

Putting my phone back in my pocket, I paused outside the library door, and closed my eyes.

It's over... isn't it?

It had been a triumph for Yotsuba. A resounding victory.

I had been telling the truth. I was proud of her. Deeply proud.

But... it's hard to be entirely happy about how things turned out.

As I'd walked through the halls, I'd been overcome with conflicting emotions, swirling within me in a competing admixture, immiscible, refusing to harmonize and become something whole. There was warmth, circling in the periphery, the outer reaches of the vortex heated by joy in Yotsuba's achievements.

Yet, the inner core was still cold.

Anxiety. Fear.

I'm worried she's going to think this is sustainable after all.

Somewhere in the mix was also concern for Takeda, and a reminder of the pain on Itsuki's face -- but somehow, those feelings were lost in the tumultuous worry about Yotsuba that was storming within my chest. The beast in the cage had long since been silenced by the typhoon's repeated battering, shrinking back to its refuge in the shadows.

I opened the library door, and stepped inside.

I don't want to think about this anymore.

And so, I didn't.

The weekend approached quickly, and I soon found myself standing in the middle of the street outside a large (by my standards) stadium in a part of Nagoya I'd never been to before. There was a sense of intimidation in its towering structure, in its flared glass, in the throngs of people moving in and out through the doors.

A sign nearby read "48th Aichi Prefecture High School Track Meet".

Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward. Into the building.

Into the crowd.

"Uesugi-kun!"

Entering a large foyer, I looked up at the call to see Itsuki standing halfway up a flight of stairs, her arm raised over her head in greeting -- and as a means to increase her visibility. Weaving my way through the throng of people, I emerged at the base of the stairs and began to climb towards her. There was an uneasiness in the way she was standing.

We hadn't spoken since the day we'd received the exam results.

"How are you holding up?" I asked quietly as we walked together away from the rumbling crowd far below.

She shrugged noncommittally. "Do you want the honest answer, or the polite answer?"

"The honest one."

"I feel like shit," she muttered -- and the cursing, so uncharacteristic for her, made me pause for a moment before resuming my pace, accelerating slightly to catch up with her.

"That... makes sense," I said, a note of sympathy creeping into my voice. "Working so hard and not quite making it is really hard."

"It isn't that," Itsuki shook her head. "Well, that too -- but that's not the main thing."

I cocked my head, unsure as to what exactly she meant.

"I just feel really, really guilty," she murmured.

"Do you mean about Takeda, and--"

"We're here," Itsuki interrupted me, not quite meeting my eye.

'Here' was a box seat high above the stadium. Stepping out into the light, I was briefly blinded... and then blinked to see that there were seven seats set up with a prime view of the field down below, ringed by a track. Itsuki walked into the room, and sank into one of the seats next to a disgruntled looking Nino. Miku and Ichika, who were seated nearby, raised their hands in greeting.

"Uesugi-saaaaaan!"

To my surprise, Yotsuba was in the box -- and as she bounded over to me, I could see the signs of her exhaustion. She'd obviously neglected sleep in favour of trying to make up the time she'd lost to studying.

Yet, there was more to it than that. I could also tell that she was a quivering bundle of nerves. Like a spring, loaded and compressed to a breaking point, potential energy about to be converted to kinetic. When released, she would be like a bullet, nigh unstoppable.

But for now, she was here.

For now, she was still.

Mostly.

"Thanks for coming, I really appreciate it," she said. "I'm super nervous! We've been working really hard, but I think we stand a pretty good chance -- Eba-san is so fast, and she's been training us really hard, and I'm really nervous about letting the team down; but I've practiced really hard Uesugi-san, so I hope it was enough, I think Eba-san was pretty upset about the whole 'taking-time-off-to-study-for-exams' thing but she..."

I just let Yotsuba ramble at me, her nerves exploding out of her mouth as she spoke. There was a quiet joy in listening to her speak, knowing the words didn't mean anything to her -- and yet, they also meant everything.

There was a silent warmth there.

"...and then I think Haru-san doesn't really like me that much, but I'm going to do my very best to become friends with her, because I remember that when I was little my soccer coach always said that being a good teammate was the most important part of teamwork, so I--"

From the seats, there was a cough.

Yotsuba's jaw immediately slammed shut.

"So..."

The voice was smooth, and deep. Like midnight-black satin, falling in sheets of rippling material, the single word was uninterrupted, sleek. It would have been nearly melodious, had it not been for the subtle undertone of frigid ice that lurked beneath the surface of the quiet syllable.

A perilous thing. One wrong step, and it would crack, plunging me into the depths below.

"You're Uesugi-kun, I suppose. It's truly a pity you rejected my offer."

In the seat, glancing back to face me, was a man with deep black hair. A pale face, drawn. His sunken eyes spoke to his intelligence, shadows underneath whispering of long nights spent working. I didn't need an introduction. I knew immediately who I was speaking to.

I also knew, viscerally, that I did not like this man.

"You must be Dr. Nakano," I said quietly, choosing my words with care. Despite my past track record, I didn't particularly want to anger Yotsuba's father. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

The icy eyes looking back at me were unmoved. They analyzed me, pulling small bits and pieces of me off like piranhas nibbling at their prey. I felt as though I were being systematically deconstructed, each part that constituted my whole being categorized, evaluated.

Judged.

"Alas, after your decision, I was forced to settle for second best," Nakano Maruo said, turning back to stare down at the track down below, and the staff preparing for the event. "Evidently, the results of that decision speak for themselves."

A flare of irritation in my chest. Swiftly suppressed.

I can't get into a fight with Yotsuba's dad. This isn't like with Eba.

Swallowing down the quiet anger I felt, both on Takeda's behalf and my own, I simply shrugged.

"Well, I'm not a tutor. I can't exactly afford to spend my time training five students to pass exams. Besides, I don't have any teaching experience. So, I'm certain any other teachers you may have hired will surely have exceeded whatever meagre results I could have produced."

"False modesty," Dr. Nakano said quietly, "is not a trait that gets one far in life, Uesugi-kun."

The ice under the surface of his words seemed, in that moment, all the colder. Yet, beneath the frigid hoarfrost, deep under the frozen layer that coated his speech, there was a hint of something else. A hint, perhaps, of wry amusement.

He knows about Yotsuba's scores.

"I appreciate you inviting me here today," I said, bowing my head as I changed the subject. "I'm truly grateful. These seats are certainly... impressive."

Dr. Nakano waved a hand dismissively, still not deigning to look at me after the initial glance. "It's nothing."

I could feel the ice, and the awkwardness, and the incompatibility of it all. The man in the seat in front of me was a high-flying surgeon. A man who saved lives as easily as he breathed. He was rich, and well-respected, and powerful.

I was the son of a poor warehouse worker, and a failed restaurateur. The only asset I had in life was studying.

Nothing more.

I don't belong here.

Dr. Nakano glanced at his watch, and looked at Yotsuba. "You should be descending soon, should you not, Yotsuba-kun?"

"Eh? Ah-- oh, you're right!" Yotsuba said, suddenly pulled out of the nervous anticipation she'd been caught in, repeatedly glancing back and forth between us. "Um... I'll see you all later!"

"Good luck, Yotsuba-chan!" Ichika said easily from her spot where she was sat cross-legged a few seats to the right of her father. "Kick their butts!"

Yotsuba threw a salute... and as she walked towards the door, I turned and hurried after her.

"I'll walk you down," I murmured.

"O-oh," Yotsuba said, her ears turning a faint pink. "Sure!"

Using her as an excuse to escape the frigid, oppressive atmosphere in the box seats, I hastily followed her down the steps I'd ascended with Itsuki.

"Good luck," I murmured to Yotsuba. "You've got this."

"Ehehe," she laughed awkwardly. "I hope so, but... I'm kinda scared."

"Don't be," I shook my head. "I've watched you train. You're unbeatable."

"Shi shi shi. Is that so?" Yotsuba grinned, turning to face me as she hopped off the final step. "Well, I guess I have to do my best now!"

I tilted my head, confused.

"I can't let you down now, can I?" she teased. "After all, if you believe in me, I have to make sure you're rewarded for your faith!"

A smile broke out across my face, and I rolled my eyes. "Don't get too ahead of yourself."

Yotsuba chortled as she began walking through the crowd, and I could feel myself grinning as I stepped after her. Despite everything, despite all the worrying I had been doing about her health and her constant overdoing of everything she tried... I loved it when we could just talk. When we could just joke around, and relax.

I wish we could do this more.

"So," I said, trying to be delicate. "Your dad is definitely... interesting."

"Ah... yeah," Yotsuba said, laughing sheepishly. "He definitely takes some getting used to. He means well, I think. He's just... uh, how do I put this?"

"Cold?" I asked.

Yotsuba shook her head. "No, that's not it. He's just... rigid, I guess. The fact he's here at all is kind of incredible. He said that his secretary made a clerical error, and didn't book any patients at all for today. It's kind of like a freak accident, you know? So... we'll see how long he can stay."

"I see," I said doubtfully.

"That said... I'm really happy he could come," Yotsuba said, a wide smile crossing her face. "We don't always see eye-to-eye, but... he's done a lot for us."

I frowned. That's a bit of a weird way to talk about your own father.

"I'm really happy you could come too, Uesugi-san," she said, her smile softening slightly. "I know sports isn't really your thing, so..."

"I thought your track practices were interesting. Besides, if you're doing something like this, I want to be there for you."

Yotsuba's cheeks flushed pink, and she laughed.

"Well... good to know!"

"Yeah," I said, pushing through the crowd into an open space as we approached the athlete's locker rooms. "I'm not going to just refuse to come when you're doing something so important to you--"

The words died in my mouth.

I stopped walking.

Across the empty space, there was a boy standing next to a pillar. He looked bored, his eyes trained down on the smartphone in his hand through the glasses that sat on his face. The mop of black hair above his head, and the loose-fitting clothes he wore under a light winter jacket...

I know him.

And... and if he was here...

My eyes rapidly scanned the crowd. Searching, like prey on alert for a predator waiting in the brush, ready to pounce.

She's probably here too.

A flash of long black hair, flowing in the air moving through the atrium.

Our eyes met.

I could feel my body freezing. Panic was setting in, fear coursing down my spine and seeping out into every vein in my body, adrenaline driving through my arteries and screaming its way into every capillary. Every nerve I had was set to react. There were only two options allowed to me. Two options my body was willing to entertain.

Fight, or flight.

Flight.

I grabbed Yotsuba's hand, my palm across hers. She let out a squeak-- and then the squeak turned into confused noises as I turned, and ran.

It was a blind escape, my eyes not focused on where I was going. All I could think of was to get away. To escape from those piercing eyes. To escape from her sight.

To escape from the memories held within her gaze.

I ran, and I ran, and I ran, Yotsuba easily keeping pace behind me after her initial confusion. Eventually, I rounded a corner, and slid down the wall out of breath. Letting go of her hand, I stared blankly at the plain surface across the narrow hallway from me, not really seeing it.

My sight was turned entirely inward.

"Uesugi-san?"

I looked up at her, my eyes not quite focused. Adrenaline was still coursing through me, along with half-a-dozen other emergency hormones pumped into my blood. I could feel my heart pounding a mile a minute; I was certain only part of it was the running.

"Uesugi-san, what was that about?" Yotsuba whispered, her eyes wide. With fear, or with confusion, I wasn't sure.

I wasn't in any state to tell.

After a long moment of silence, I closed my eyes.

"I... I saw someone I knew," I whispered.

"Oh."

A pause.

"Someone you needed to run away from?"

I nodded wordlessly, my eyes still shut.

"...Who was it?"

I opened my eyes, and looked up at Yotsuba. At the flurry of emotions that were dancing across her face, like cherry blossoms dancing in a storm. A hint of concern. A wisp of fear. A sliver of curiosity.

Beneath it all, that look.

That expression.

That unreadable expression.

An expression that, deep within my chest, I knew wasn't unreadable at all.

"...My ex."

Notes:

Well, it's a few days late for Yotsuba day (just like last year...), but here it is! A mysterious black-haired girl... who could it be?

This chapter took a lot longer than I'd have liked; I finished the final chapter of my Fuutarou/Itsuki fic "A Sonata of Solitude" at the beginning of April (the editing of which ate up a surprising amount of my time for an ostensibly complete fic!), and then almost immediately went to travel to visit family. That said, I'm hoping to squeeze out a few more chapters in the next couple of months, ideally at a higher pace. My favourite hockey team just got absolutely humiliated, so maybe I can funnel all that angst into getting chapters out a little faster!

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 36: Divergence

Chapter 36:
Divergence

The rumble of the crowd, moving past in ebbing and flowing layers. The dull roar of people, hundreds of conversations collapsed into a static noise. Cacophonous, it hummed around the corner, out of sight -- invisible, and omnipotent.

Yet, irrelevant.

It was entirely drowned out by the look on Yotsuba's face.

Myriad emotion. Like a hail of rockets, they passed quickly, each flaring in her eyes so quickly as to be nigh undetectable.

Eventually, her face settled into an equilibrium; not quite stable, but holding. The way her eyebrows were holding in tension, the downturn of the corner of her lips, the widening of her eyes... I wasn't sure what to think. A mask, it hid her true thoughts with its complexity.

"I... I see," she finally said.

There was a long pause. Neither of us spoke -- I looking up at her, and she looking down at me. Deep in my chest, I could feel a stabbing numbness, an icy cold that was beginning to seep out of the cage where the beast was as still as night. Eventually, I turned to look away, my vision focusing back on the blank wall across the narrow hallway from me.

My thoughts were elsewhere.

It had been four years since I'd seen her.

Four years since everything blew up.

I'd convinced myself I was over it. Every time I'd thought about it since first meeting Yotsuba, in those quiet moments of solitude in the library... the feelings of panic, the hurt, the guilt; it had felt like it was lessening. I'd grown, and I'd been sure that everything would be fine. That if I ever saw her, when I saw her, I wouldn't feel anything.

That I wouldn't run.

"So," Yotsuba laughed. "You... had a girlfriend, huh?"

There was something hollow to her laugh. It didn't feel right. Yet, I didn't turn to look at her. Instead, I just shrugged, slowly being swallowed up more and more by the glimmering, frozen mist in my chest.

"Yeah... I did."

There was a soft intake of breath from above me at my murmured words. A long pause... and some small part of me, the part that was still lucid and focused on the girl next to me, felt a twinge of something; fear, maybe? Anxiety. I didn't know how Yotsuba would take it.

There was a rustling sound as Yotsuba squatted down next to me, and gently punched my shoulder.

"Geez, Uesugi-san, you dog! You never told me you used to have a girlfriend."

My head snapped over in shock to see Yotsuba grinning at me-- and the small part of my mind that was still lucid roared back into control, driving the mist back into the cage. There was a level of complexity to Yotsuba's smile, meaning hidden behind meaning... but it didn't matter.

Even if it was a façade, she was smiling at me, and I could feel myself growing warm.

"Uh... sorry about that?"

"So, back on that very first day when Ichika was teasing you about not having a girlfriend... I guess she was more off the mark than we thought, huh?"

Frowning, I shook my head. "It's past tense, Yotsuba. I had a girlfriend. Not now."

"Mhmm," she said, standing up and stretching. "I see, I see. Good for you."

As I'd thought, it was off; a flat tone to her laugh, a discordance in her cheeriness. I'd known her long enough at this point. I'd spent enough time watching her face, hearing her inherent joy.

I knew when she was lying.

"I'm curious, though," Yotsuba smiled, glancing down at me. "What's she like?"

I could tell when she was wearing a mask.

She's upset... but it feels different from the other times. More... internal.

For a moment, I considered trying to brush off the question. To keep everything in the past, hidden in the same place as the secret promise that had set me on this path in the first place. To close that part of me off, and not let anyone in; even Yotsuba. A completely private memory, with everything that came with that.

Yet... looking at Yotsuba's smile, even with all the emotion behind it, there was a part of me that rebelled. That was terrified of the idea of Yotsuba not knowing. That whispered in my ear that, if I didn't tell her, she would assume... and would probably be completely wrong.

Somehow, the idea of her having the wrong idea made my chest hurt.

"Well," I said, slowly getting to my feet and brushing myself off. "About that. She's--"

A voice blared out over the loud-speakers, a smooth, calm, and professional announcement. "All athletes, please make your way to your locker rooms. Competition will begin in half an hour's time. I repeat, all athletes..."

Yotsuba and I made eye-contact, and I trailed off. There was a moment's silence between us; and I could feel myself growing more and more self-conscious under the lock of her blazing blue eyes. It felt like she was looking into my soul; searching, perhaps, for something in my depths.

"Um... I guess you need to go," I murmured awkwardly.

Yotsuba nodded wordlessly, her eyes still locked on me. She didn't move, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

She was a tableau in tension; every muscle in her face was working in tandem to try and keep up appearances, to keep the mask intact.

To hide the look that was seeping out the cracks. The look of insecurity; of uncertainty. The same look that appeared on her face sometimes when I bonded with her sisters, when she thought I wasn't looking. The look I'd spent so long pretending I couldn't read.

Jealousy.

"I promise I'll tell you about her," I said quietly. "Anything you want to know, I'll tell you."

A shift. A note of relief, quiet and subtle, flooding through her eyes.

"Uesugi-san, I--"

"When you win," I said, forcing a smile onto my face.

Yotsuba stared at me for a moment, shocked.

For a fraction of a moment, I thought I'd upset her.

Then, the cheeky grin explosively returned to her face, and I could tell that this time, it was real.

"O-ho? Interesting, interesting! I'll take you up on your offer, Uesugi-san. Have no fear, I'll race my heart out-- and make you tell me all about her!"

"Good," I said, shaking my head in wry amusement. "Kick their asses."

We stepped out of the corridor, and Yotsuba began to hurry away... but then, she stopped, and turned back to look at me. There was a fire in her eyes, one that I genuinely wasn't sure I understood.

"Uesugi-san?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a promise. Remember that," she said. Then, waving, she vanished into the crowd.

I stood there for a moment, watching her go.

Then, I turned away.

As I walked, as the comfort of Yotsuba's presence faded, I could still feel my emotions in a mess: the residual adrenaline draining from my system, leaving me exhausted. The memories, flashing through my mind; pictures of black hair, of flashing eyes. Her voice, whispering in my ear.

"Fuutarou..."

A resurgence. A flash of panic.

Quietly, I melted into the throng of people. In their voluminous embrace, there was no chance that she could find me.

The cage in my chest was ice, unmoving beast shrouded in gaseous cold that leaked past the bars that ostensibly claimed to keep the contents inside contained. Quietly, the vapour coated the steel in frost; re-enforcing them, sealing them.

A reminder of why they were built in the first place.

I don't want to see her again.

Eventually, I safely emerged from the crowd and ascended the stairs. As I approached the entrance to the box seats, however, I could hear the sound of voices.

"Father, it's unfair!"

"I've already made my position clear, Itsuki-kun. This is for your sake."

Peeking my head around the door, I saw Itsuki standing with her arms crossed, a plaintive look in her eyes. Her father was leaning back in his chair, a completely blank look on his face. Neither of them noticed my entry; as I awkwardly made my way over to a chair, and Ichika greeted me quietly, they didn't break eye-contact.

"He was trying his best! It was a tall order, and we got really close! I believe that if he were to be given one more chance, he--"

"Be that as it may," Dr. Nakano said, his voice flat and emotionless, "Takeda-kun has repeatedly failed my expectations. His job is to ensure that you pass exams. Tell me, Itsuki-kun, did any of you pass the final exam in its entirety apart from Yotsuba-kun?"

Itsuki hesitated... and then shook her head silently.

"Exactly," Dr. Nakano said -- and though his voice remained monotone, I wondered if there was perhaps a hint of exasperation underlying his words. "Takeda-kun has failed at the task that was assigned to him a second time. Why should I entrust him with my daughters' academic well-being a third time?"

"But--"

"In life, we do not get infinite chances," he said quietly. "We get only as many chances as others are willing to grant us. I have already granted Takeda-kun a second chance. Unless you can think of an excellent reason why he ought to be granted a third, this matter is settled."

"He... He's been improving!" Itsuki said, her voice trembling. "Since we got back from the school trip, he's been working very hard to improve his teaching skills, and to get better results. It's not his fault that we're too st-stupid to..."

"Itsuki-kun," Dr. Nakano said quietly, "you girls are not stupid."

"H-huh? I mean--"

"Rather," he continued on, ignoring her, "your failures are a result of two factors: a failure of effort, and a failure in your educator. I cannot easily rectify the former; the motivation for that must come from within. I can, however, influence the latter. I'll find you a better tutor -- I am not willing to sacrifice your futures to facilitate Takeda-kun's fumbling growth as a teacher."

Itsuki clenched her fists -- her face was a picture in frustration, cheeks red with emotion, her shoulders trembling.

"I don't think we need a new tutor! We just need more time-- you can't just fire him!"

"As I recall," Dr. Nakano said drily, "you were the one who insisted on the ability to instantaneously dismiss him if his pedagogical approach didn't improve, and in fact petitioned me yourself to remove him. You claimed that he wasn't a good fit, did you not? It would seem you were correct; as such, there is no need for a tantrum."

Itsuki blanched.

"Th-that's true, I did say that. But..."

Itsuki trailed off, and then squared her shoulders.

"Regardless, please hire him back, Father! He's the only reason my test grades were as good as they were."

"Then why were your sisters' scores still so low?" Dr. Nakano asked quietly.

She froze -- and from my spot on the chair next to Ichika, I could see the calculus that had suddenly been thrust onto Itsuki's plate. With a single sentence, Dr. Nakano had put her between a rock and a hard place; her only options were to admit that her sisters hadn't seriously tried to study under Takeda, throwing them under the bus, or to deflect, thereby implying that it was, in fact, Takeda's fault.

I didn't envy her.

In the face of that dilemma, Itsuki simply chose to fall silent.

After a few long, agonizing minutes, Dr. Nakano turned forward again, finally breaking eye-contact.

"It would appear this conversation is over," he said quietly. "Come, Itsuki-kun, sit. Let's watch your sister race."

A flurry of emotions crossed Itsuki's face; frustration, pain, and guilt. Especially guilt. As her eyes lingered on the back of her father's head, they eventually moved to connect with mine, the quivering of her lips a clear indication of her efforts to keep tears from spilling over the brim. As I looked at her, I could feel the quietly conflicted feelings that had subconsciously twisted in my chest following Takeda's short phone call to me after exams.

But...

Don't pick a fight with Yotsuba's dad. It'll end badly, you don't want him hating you, you--

"Dr. Nakano, I also think you should give Takeda another chance."

The words were out of my mouth, and I could feel myself cringing as he slowly turned in his seat to gaze at me. Silent, he simply looked silently, his motionless face conveying a thousand emotions far more efficiently than sound ever could.

I swallowed.

We were both wordless for a number of seconds; yet, it almost felt as though we were probing one another. The subtle movement in Dr. Nakano's eyes, the way he examined me, as though he were categorizing me.

"Uesugi-kun," he eventually said, his voice soft and low, without a trace of discernible emotion, "given your rejection of my initial offer, I'm afraid I don't quite see how my family's decisions regarding personnel are any of your business."

The cool ice in his eyes, glittering, left me shivering.

I'm no match for him. Not now, anyways.

"You're right, of course," I said, shaking my head. "It's not my business. That said, I do consider myself friends with your daughters--"

I saw Nino glare at me, and I pointedly ignored her.

"...to an extent, as well as with Takeda. I'm not going to try and convince you to change your mind. That said, as an outside observer, Takeda's pedagogy has pretty much undergone a complete phase change since he got back from the camping trip. It started before that, but... I think he's started to do some really good work. If you keep him on, I think that in time you'll have quite an effective educator."

Dr. Nakano simply raised an eyebrow at me, a solitary movement that, in its simplicity, communicated multitudes.

I didn't break eye-contact; that said, I wasn't sure of what else to say.

Eventually, he looked away, his eyes training back on the track down below.

"Noted."

Glancing at Itsuki, I mouthed 'I tried', and she shrugged helplessly before sitting down on her father's far side.

Takeda's probably done.

Settling into our seats, I felt a tap on my right shoulder, and glanced over to see Ichika smiling at me.

"Very brave of you, Fuutarou-kun," she purred. "I'm glad you think of all of us as friends, even dear Nino-chan. I'll just have to find out her thoughts about that later."

"Shut up," I muttered, my face reddening. "You knew that already. Ugh... I'm definitely not going to hear the end of that from her."

"Yeah, but it's fun hearing you say it," she laughed. "Don't worry about Nino. I'm sure she'll just be thrilled."

Rolling my eyes, I leaned forward to look down at the track.

"Do you see Yotsuba?" I asked, purposely changing the subject.

Ichika leaned forward as well, and frowned.

"Hmm... I don't think so... there are a bunch of different schools though, so it's a bit difficult to tell... I guess we'll see her when they're called to order."

"Mhmm."

Frowning, I steepled my hands. Unlike with the final exams, I had absolutely no idea how to gauge how prepared Yotsuba was. All I knew was that she was fast. Really fast.

But... the other people here are probably also really fast.

"Oh! Here they come!"

Leaning forward, I saw that the number of students on the field had multiplied -- and as the announcer spoke, their words muted by crackling static and ageing electronics, the athletes began to form into blocks, each representing a school... and a team. For each school, there was an athlete, presumably the captain, holding a sign with the school name. Scanning across, I searched for Asahiyama, and eventually found the sign slightly off to the left.

But...

"I still don't see her," I murmured to Ichika. "I wonder--"

"She's at the back!" Miku suddenly said, speaking for the first time since my return to the box seats. Glancing to my left, where she was sat, I saw her pointing towards the block. "Left side, second from the edge."

Re-focusing, I narrowed in -- and I could feel my chest tighten slightly as I finally found Yotsuba. As I watched her standing, nervously shifting her weight from one foot to another in her track uniform, the look on her face as she'd looked back at me half an hour earlier flared in my mind.

The fire in her eyes.

The mask she'd worn.

"Kick their asses," I whispered to myself.

"Hmm? Fuutarou-kun, did you say something?" Ichika asked, tilting her head at me.

"No, nothing."

Different events were being held -- most of the forty-four Olympic track and field events were being contested between the different schools. Yotsuba would be participating in a few of the short races, or so she'd told me, though I hadn't had enough knowledge to ask for any specifics. As the athletes began warming up for their races, I could feel the trepidation beginning to rise in my chest.

Moment of truth... again.

"You know," Miku mumbled from next to me, "that sign out front was pretty misleading..."

"Huh?" I asked, turning to look at her, momentarily distracted.

"I was reading the pamphlet they gave us at the door," she said quietly, holding it up. "You got one, right Fuutarou?"

I blinked, and then looked down at my empty hands.

"Uh... no?"

Miku frowned. "Maybe they ran out. You can share mine if you like."

"...Thanks. I think. Anyways, what's misleading about the sign?"

Miku shrugged. "This isn't the actual prefecture-level competition. That was months ago. Look in the pamphlet."

Frowning, I opened the proffered booklet -- and saw that there was a short blurb on the history of the meet. Scanning the page, I could feel a wellspring of irritation bubbling up in the depths of my stomach.

Eba ran her ragged... for this?

"It's a consolation meet for teams that failed to qualify for nationals?" I asked, my voice tight as I tried to fight down my anger.

Miku nodded.

"In other words..."

"It's an exhibition meet," Miku said quietly. "So, calling it the 'Aichi Prefecture High School Track Meet' is a bit misleading, right? Even if that is technically what it is."

I was silent for a moment, processing. Then, eventually, I lowered my head into my hands.

"I'm going to kill that captain. Do you think Yotsuba knows?"

After a moment's pause to think, Miku shrugged.

"Probably," she said. "She knows a lot about sports. I think she probably would have realized the team was eliminated before she even joined. Nationals were apparently in November -- I looked it up after I finished reading the pamphlet, because I was curious."

"Then why...?"

"Hmmm?" Ichika said, leaning over and resting her arm on my shoulder. "Do you really need to ask that?"

I frowned, and turned sharply to look at her, shifting slightly away under her arm. "What do you mean?"

"Even with everything," Ichika purred, "you still have a lot to learn about our Yotsuba-chan, Fuutarou-kun."

Something about the way she said that made me pause.

A lot I still have to learn...?

Unbidden, an image of that night, weeks before, came back to me. The look on Yotsuba's face as I'd pressed her about the dance about the fire. The call, in the cold of the night, where she'd explained herself -- and also not explained herself. When I'd promised to wait, in lieu of learning the truth.

An image of her face in the corridor below, as she learned about my past.

Slowly, I closed my eyes... and then sighed.

"Maybe you're right," I said quietly, looking away.

Even after all this time, there are parts of Yotsuba that I still don't understand.

"Love of sports is a beautiful thing," Ichika sighed wistfully. "Couldn't be me, though."

Frowning, I stared down at the scene far below us, where I could distantly see Yotsuba stretching.

Ichika's words weren't resonating with me.

I don't think she's doing this out of a love of sports.

I watched Eba stride over and have a quiet word with Yotsuba, a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Her other teammates were flocking about; there was a nervous air to them, a tension...

My eyes narrowed.

"Valued attendees," a static-ridden voice said over the intercom system, carrying the drone of some woman in a suit down on the field, "thank you for your attendance today. This exhibition meet, first organized to provide bridge-training for schools who were unsuccessful in their bid for prefectural nomination, has become a storied competition in its own right. These young athletes..."

As she continued on, my gaze held steady on Yotsuba.

...I need to think about this.

"...Thank you for your patience. The first event will be the boys' 100 metre."

As boys from different schools took the field, and Yotsuba retreated back to the locker room, I saw her ribbon waving in the wind... and the sense of anticipation that had been slowly growing within me grew even more acute.

"Do you know which events Yotsuba will be in?" I asked, turning to Miku.

"No," she replied quietly, staring down at the pamphlet. "They didn't print the details of who's in each race."

"How inconvenient," I muttered, turning back forward.

"Yeah, the three full-page ads for Saize really don't leave a lot of room for athlete names..."

We were both distracted then by a loud bang, and turned back to the field to see boys charging down the track. It was incredible how fast they were; putting myself in their shoes, I was certain that by the time the first sprinter shot across the finish line, I would only have been halfway down the track. The final straggler crossed only a handful of seconds later.

As the announcer read the results, I frowned. The representative for Asahiyama had been someone I didn't recognize -- and his result was dead in the centre of the pack. Completely forgettable.

Watch as it turns out he's in my class or something.

Laughing quietly to myself, I turned my attention back to the beginning of the track, where more athletes were beginning to warm up... and then I instinctively tensed up as I saw a dash of green in the crowd.

"Next, the girls' 100-metre. Athletes, please take your starting positions."

As the girls began to move into position, I once again saw the distinctive green of Yotsuba's ribbon... and as she moved to the starting line, I felt my chest tighten in anticipation.

A flash of red. A pinprick of blue.

She was looking up at the box.

It was far, far too large a distance to actually tell... but it felt like she was looking at me.

Like she was calling to me.

Watch me.

"Oh, wow," Miku breathed next to me. "Fuutarou, look -- the pamphlet says that the 100-metre dash is special."

"Is that so?" I asked, not pulling my eyes off Yotsuba's form far below, slowly lowering herself into a starting position. My heart had risen into my throat, and it was hard to focus on anything else.

"You're not looking..."

Wrenching my eyes away from the preparations happening down below, I glanced over at Miku, trying to suppress the mild irritation that had spiked in my chest. It's not her fault I'm on edge...

"Apparently, each school nominates their single fastest runner to compete in the 100-metre," Miku continued, holding up the pamphlet to the appropriate page for me to see. "It's a big honour; that sprinter will then also be the anchor during the 4x100-metre relay."

"So... she was chosen over Eba?" I asked, frowning.

"Who?"

"The captain," I said, shaking my head. "The one I have issues with."

"Oh," Miku said, blinking. "Um... I think probably the captain was the one who chose her. Probably."

Turning back to the track, where the athletes were now fully set up, my eye settled back on Yotsuba... and the quiet tension that was running through her. She was like a spring, coiled too tight, waiting to snap back. Building up and building up and building--

Bang.

The starting gun went off, and she exploded.

Like lightning, Yotsuba was off down the track, a blur of red and green.

Yet, the other sprinters were fast too; as Yotsuba pulled out ahead of the pack, at least two other girls were keeping pace with her.

It was tight. Their shoulders were aligned, muscles screaming as they fought for that extra millimetre, that extra burst of speed.

That winning stride.

The final blow.

Eventually, one of the two girls fell back half a step; and it was between Yotsuba and a girl in a black tracksuit, perfectly aligned.

Footsteps pounding on rubber, driving them onward.

There was decent separation now, the two girls isolated from the crowd behind them.

The finish line approached, a hundred metres eaten up in the blink of an eye.

Twelve metres.

Eleven.

Ten.

Two things happened at once. The girl in the black tracksuit stumbled -- and Yotsuba kicked into a higher gear. Driving onwards over the final stretch, she gained a shoulder's width of a lead. Ribbon flying in the wind, sweat blasted off her face by the air resistance she was facing, the distance to the end closed in a heartbeat.

With a full half-metre of distance between them, Yotsuba flew over the finish line.

Without even realizing it, I was standing and cheering. The girls around me were doing the same -- the box had, in a moment, erupted.

As Yotsuba slowed to a halt, a dozen metres past the finish line, she doubled over, panting. Then, a moment later, she stood up straight, and turned to look up at the box, her hair and ribbon subtly blowing in the air currents in the stadium as other sprinters finally shot over the finish line.

It was ludicrous, with how far away we were.

Yet, it felt like our eyes met.

Raising her hand, she pointed up at me.

It's a promise.

Swallowing, I nodded.

There's no way she can even see me all the way up here. But...

As her teammates swarmed the field, running over to hug her, Yotsuba kept looking up at me. Then, she was engulfed, and I couldn't even see her anymore in the midst of the celebration.

Eventually, as she walked off the track, her teammates' arms over her shoulders, the announcer began reading out the results... and as she called Yotsuba's name, our box exploded with cheers again.

Nakano Yotsuba. Asahiyama High School.

First Place.

The tension that had been held in my shoulders, in my chest, slowly filtered out, and I slid back into my seat. Breathing out, I shook my head, and pulled my phone out of my pocket. Quietly, I sent an email to Yotsuba; I knew I probably wouldn't be able to see her in person until the event was over.

<Congratulations>

There was a lot more I wanted to say... but it was hard to formulate it. Hard to put it in words, let alone in an email.

Things I wanted to say in person.

"Next, the boy's 200-metre..."

The remainder of the morning's races went by quickly, my interest greatly diminished in Yotsuba's absence. The girl's 200-metre had been marginally interesting, if only because two sprinters had competed for Asahiyama -- Eba, and one of the other girls whose name I didn't know. As the captain took off like black lightning down the track, I was forced to begrudgingly admit that, despite all her flaws, she was fast.

But Yotsuba's faster.

That said, she wasn't fast enough; as the metres piled on, Eba began to flag, and eventually crossed the finish line in second. The other girl finished in fourth; an overall respectable finish, though I could see the frustration in Eba's body language even from the distance I was at.

The morning wore on, race after race after race. The Asahiyama girl's team didn't have competitors in every event, but most of the girls competed in at least two races. That said, Yotsuba was sitting off on the sidelines; after the initial race, she'd been entirely taken up with cheering on her teammates.

Eventually, there was a break for lunch. As the athletes trudged off the field, I rose from my seat, and stretched.

"What do you think the chances are that Yotsuba can come join us?" I asked, glancing down at Miku.

"Not great," she said, shaking her head. "I think she said something about the team having lunch together."

"I see..."

Crouching down to reach into a small bag I'd brought with me, I pulled out a small bento that Raiha had packed for me.

"Shall we find somewhere to..."

I trailed off at the awkward look Ichika was giving me.

"What?" I asked, frowning as I stood back up.

"Fuutarou-kun," she said, shaking her head, "we're going to a restaurant. None of us brought packed lunches."

"...Oh."

For the first time in quite a while, I could feel my chest clench in embarrassment as I was, once again, reminded of the wealth gap between us.

I definitely can't afford to go eat at a restaurant...

"I see," I said, forcing a neutral look onto my face as my hand tightened around the bento. "Well, enjoy."

Grabbing my bag, I swung it up onto my shoulder -- but then I caught Itsuki's eye as I turned to walk around the seats and exit the box.

She was the only one in the room who was aware of my family's financial situation... and as our eyes met, it almost seemed as though she had read my thoughts.

"Father," Itsuki said, clutching the edge of her seat, "would it be alright if Uesugi-kun joins us for lunch?"

Dr. Nakano glanced over at me, his ice cold eyes taking me in. Since the discussion about Takeda, he hadn't said a word; even when Yotsuba had won, he'd been silent. Under his gaze, I could feel a shiver going down my spine.

"I, uh, don't have any money with me," I added awkwardly, shifting on the spot. "I brought a packed lunch."

Technically the truth...

"It's... it's fine, I can just..."

Dr. Nakano's eyes lingered on me, his brow ever-so-slightly furrowed, and I trailed off. There was a frigid quality to him, like anything he touched would be immediately overcome with hoarfrost. I could feel a quiet sense of panic building in the depths of my stomach; I was certain that he was going to say something, words that would cut me down. Words that would slice me to the bone, with surgical precision.

The dismissal of an elite, quiet disdain for one such as me. In his eyes, I was certain I was nothing more than an ant, irrelevant.

Dr. Nakano gazed unblinkingly at me.

Then, he simply looked away, looking back at Itsuki.

"One more person isn't a problem," he said, his voice silky smooth and quiet. "Ebata, call the restaurant and let them know we'll need to modify the reservation."

"Certainly, sir."

Whipping my head around, my eyes widened as I realized that there was an old man in a suit standing off to the side in the box, a phone already rising to his head. I hadn't noticed him at all either of the times I'd entered the room; he was entirely cloistered, invisible from the entrance.

"When...?"

"Now then, children," Dr. Nakano said, rising from his seat. "Let us depart. You may briefly meet with Yotsuba-kun before we go, should she be available. That said, we have a reservation to keep."

As he strode across the room, the old man he'd called Ebata following meekly in his wake, I was stuck by how... impersonal his words were. It was a reflection, maybe, of how Yotsuba had referred to him on the way down the stairs... like there was a gap between them.

A distance between their hearts.

It's none of my business.

Shaking my head, I followed the four sisters out of the room as they trailed their father. Falling into step beside Itsuki, I mouthed 'thank you' to her, and she shrugged.

As we descended the stairs to the main lobby, which was growing more crowded with people by the minute, we saw the Asahiyama team emerging from the locker rooms as a group... and Yotsuba among them. As she spotted me, she bounded over, a grin on her face.

"Uesugi-saaaaaaaan!"

Despite myself, a smile slipped onto my face.

"Hey," I said as she came to a screeching halt in front of me. "Well done. You were really fast."

"Ehehehe," she grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "Well, I trained hard. I was also really lucky at the end there -- the other girl stumbling was pretty good luck!"

"Well, you know what they say-- you've gotta be good to be lucky."

Then, at that moment, her sisters surged forward -- and I found myself cut off as Yotsuba got surrounded. In the excited chatter of four girls hugging a fifth, I glanced aside... and my eye accidentally caught Eba's.

She gave me a smug smirk, and it took all my energy to keep my face under control.

I really don't like her.

"Yotsuba-chan, we're going to go for lunch now," Ichika said as the collective hug broke apart. "Are you going to come with us?"

"Sorry guys," Yotsuba said, shaking her head. "I'm going to be eating with the rest of the team."

"Too bad," Ichika said, a teasing note slipping into her voice. "Fuutarou-kun is going to be coming with us-- we'll have him all to ourselves."

Yotsuba immediately stiffened up; it was subtle, but I could see her muscles tense, the slight pulling of her mouth and eyes at Ichika's words. The look, the one that had danced across her face plain as day in the corridor, returned to her face for just a moment -- and as her eyes searched for mine, as they found me, there was a question in them.

Yet, not one I understood. All I knew was that there was a question there, hidden in the depths of the blue.

Then, it was gone.

All of it.

"That's too bad," Yotsuba grinned, shaking her head. "Try not to tease him too much, ok?"

"No promises," Ichika said, a sing-songy note to her voice.

As the girls pulled back from Yotsuba, Dr. Nakano came forward, and leaned next to her ear. After murmuring something indecipherable, he pulled back, and walked away, ushering the girls after him. Yotsuba stared after him with a look of mild astonishment on her face. Then, with a shake of her head, she turned to look at me.

"Uesugi-san, I--"

"Yotsuba," Eba interjected, grabbing her shoulder, "we need to head out now if we want to have time to eat and digest before the afternoon races."

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded, and turned to follow her teammates away.

Then, turning back, she called to me.

"Uesugi-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget. You promised."

Biting my lip, I nodded silently. Seemingly satisfied, Yotsuba turned away, and trotted after her teammates.

Watching her go, I wasn't entirely sure how I felt. I hadn't liked the look on her face when Ichika had teased her... yet, strangely, there had also been something reassuring about it. I had no idea how to think about it.

"Uesugi-kun! Are you coming, or not?!"

"No use thinking about it now," I muttered, and turned to chase after an irate Itsuki.

Despite Ichika's joking threat, lunch was mostly uneventful. Having been sat across from Dr. Nakano, which was not exactly a relaxing experience, per se, he mostly ignored me, and I followed suit. Instead, I spent the majority of the time talking with Itsuki about the food we were eating, and with Miku about the pamphlet, which she'd brought along and was continuing to investigate. I wasn't quite sure why she was so interested in it, but it at least made for a good topic of conversation.

At some point during lunch, Yotsuba had replied to my email, just a simple 'thanks' with a grinning emoji afterwards. I'd suspected that her brevity was more a function of time constraints, rather than a lack of things to say, and so I'd tried not to overthink it.

After we'd finished eating, we had returned to the box seats about five minutes before the resumption of events. As we settled into our seats, and the announcer read off the first set of races of the afternoon, Miku poked my arm. Glancing down at her, she held up the pamphlet again.

"I think Yotsuba's going to be in this race," she said, pointing at one of the races down near the end of the schedule.

"Why?"

"Remember how I said the sprinter from the 100-metre dash was also the anchor for the 4x100-metre relay?"

"I do remember you saying that," I frowned. "So, is Yotsuba going to be the anchor?"

"I guess," she said, looking down at the sheet. "I didn't know there were so many rules around this sort of thing. It's a little interesting."

"Yeah, well... neither did I, to be honest. I'm not sure how much of it is rules, though..."

The races continued, and the Asahiyama girls mostly acquitted themselves well. That said, apart from Yotsuba, none of them managed to take first place in any of the races; it was all a mixture of seconds, fourths, fifths, and one embarrassing fifteenth. By the time the relay was announced, there was a sense of bored agitation that had progressively taken over the box seats.

A boredom that evaporated instantaneously as Yotsuba took to the track.

As the anchor, she moved to the three-quarter mark; the starting runner was Eba, and the middle two were girls I didn't know, though they'd been there on the day I'd confronted their captain.

As she moved nervously on the spot, Yotsuba stretched... and glanced up at the box seats.

Then, she squared her shoulders and got ready.

At the starting line, Eba crouched into position.

A moment's stillness.

Silence.

Then--

Bang.

Like an explosion of black flame, she was off, other sprinters spread around her in a curved line to account for the differences in the turning lanes. As she ran, Eba began to separate from the pack, along with two or three girls -- though, with their staggered positioning, it was hard to tell who was ahead.

As her captain approached the first hand-off, the second girl began to run; and as Eba handed the baton off to her, she bolted away.

They're in a good spot...

The second girl raced along the straight, though I could tell just by looking that she was slower than Eba had been. That said, with the gap that had been gifted to her, she was able to safely maintain positioning, more or less; it was possible, in the midst of her stretch, that she had slipped from second to third.

The issue came as she approached the bend, and the third runner. As she closed the gap, the third sprinter began to run; but the hand-off was clumsy, and slow. In a moment, they'd dropped from third to an easy fifth or sixth place.

As the third runner ran around the curved track, the situation only got worse.

She wasn't Yotsuba.

She wasn't even Eba.

By the time the girl approached Yotsuba, I could see the tears flowing down her face as she fell back into seventh.

I couldn't hear what she said as Yotsuba began to run in preparation; we were too far away. Yet, as she handed off the baton, slamming it into Yotsuba's extended hand, I could almost hear her apologizing -- though of course, it was all in my head.

It didn't matter.

Yotsuba was wind, and Yotsuba was lightning.

Blasting onto the straight-away, Yotsuba moved as fast as I'd ever seen her; legs moving in synchronized motion, pounding against the rubber, every muscle and tendon in her body screaming in unison to run. In the blink of an eye, she'd passed sixth and fifth place, recovering the ground lost by the third runner's pace. As the finish line approached, she strained, and pulled past fourth.

Seconds before the finish line, she inched ahead of third.

Closer.

Reaching.

Not close enough.

Across.

A full two seconds after second place had already finished, Yotsuba blasted across the finish line.

She slowed down, trotting to a halt. Staring up into the sky, panting, sweat dripping down her face, Yotsuba was still.

Then, she crouched down, lowering her head between her legs to recover.

As her teammates approached her, I could tell even from a distance how she was feeling.

I could tell because that feeling was an old, intimate friend.

She'd recovered them a medalling position.

It doesn't matter.

As they surrounded her, elated at her fiery comeback, she glanced up at the box again... and I could have sworn our eyes met.

A moment of piercing blue.

Then, gone, as she left the field.

A bubbling sense of unease filled my stomach; but, I wasn't entirely sure of its source. As the announcer read off the results, and Asahiyama was confirmed for a bronze medal, the girls around me cheered... but my heart wasn't in it.

I knew Yotsuba too well.

The medalling ceremony was at the end; and even as she received her gold medal for the 100-metre dash, Yotsuba's body language screamed of frustration. She quietly accepted the award, and then quickly retreated from the podium as soon as she was able.

When the time came to accept the bronze medal for the relay, Eba was the one to go up and accept it.

As we filtered down the stairs, and waited in the lobby amidst the crowd for Yotsuba to emerge, her sisters were chattering amongst themselves... but I didn't feel like I could participate in the conversation. My mind was too distracted, focused entirely on the frustration that had been radiating off Yotsuba as she crossed the finish line.

I didn't think she was the type to blame her teammates for their failures.

Which meant there was only one person she could be frustrated with.

"Oh, she's out. Yotsuba-chan! Over heeeeeere!"

Immediately, my eyes began scanning the crowd, searching. Eventually, I found Yotsuba -- with Ichika's call, she had made a beeline for us, her teammates grinning behind her.

But... her face.

I could tell just by looking at her.

I was right.

I need to do something.

Before anyone could say anything to her, I strode forward and grabbed her hand. Her eyes widened for a moment, and she looked up at me.

"Uesugi-san...?"

"Sorry, everyone," I said, turning to face both Yotsuba's sisters and her teammates. "I need to kidnap her for a few minutes. We'll be right back."

I could see the sudden look of irritation manifesting in Eba's scowl, as well as the confusion crossing the others' faces -- but Itsuki gave me a quiet thumbs up, hidden from everyone else, and I nodded to her.

Turning back to Yotsuba, I murmured, "if that's ok?"

She silently nodded, and I pulled her off into the crowd.

To escape.

Eventually, we found ourselves back in the small hallway we'd occupied that morning. Yotsuba looked up at me wordlessly, and then tilted her head.

Waiting.

"I made you a promise, didn't I?"

An excuse.

Yotsuba looked away from me.

"I didn't win, though."

There was a deep bitterness in her voice; a pain that I was all too familiar with from personal experience. It stood in stark contrast to how she'd looked at the lunch break. How she'd looked when she passed the final.

Even how she'd looked when she failed on the midterm.

"Yotsuba..."

"I didn't win," she repeated, shaking her head. "We... we came in third."

"That wasn't your fault."

"It was," she said quietly, leaning against the wall and sinking to the ground. "I should have been able to close that gap. I... I let my teammates down."

Lowering her head into her knees, she wrapped her arms around her shins, pulling them tight to her breast. Her ribbon, dangling overhead, seemed almost lifeless as it swayed over her.

Sliding down next to her, I stared at the opposite wall.

"I wasn't good enough," she breathed, her face still hidden. "They all put their faith in me... and I wasn't enough. I know I should have done it. But... I couldn't."

A whispered sob came from her -- and I felt my chest constricting. Leaning over, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and pulled her tight. After a moment's hesitation, Yotsuba leaned into me... and I could feel her shaking.

This isn't a fair burden she's putting on herself.

I held her wordlessly as the quiet sobs racked her body; they were almost inaudible, the sort of half-cries of someone who won't quite let themselves release the pressure building up inside, but who also can't keep it contained anymore. The near-silent tears... I just held her through them.

All I could do was be there as best I could.

Eventually, she grew quiet, and pushed further into my side. Her breathing was soft, and I was suddenly aware of her touch against me; yet, the cage in my chest was silent. I wasn't focused on the electricity coursing through my side, through where her head was leaning on my shoulder. My mind was focused on things far and away from that.

"Yotsuba," I said softly, my hand tight on her shoulder. "It isn't your fault. You can't carry a team on your back."

"But--"

"If Eba came up to you after this, and told you that the loss was her fault, what would you say?"

Sniffing, Yotsuba lifted her head to look up at me, her eyes red. There was a moment's silence as she stared at me, blinking. Then, frowning, she shook her head.

"I would tell her that she was being silly. She managed to start us off really strongly, it definitely wasn't her fault."

"What about if that second girl said it? Would you blame her?"

Yotsuba shook her head again. "If Marin-san said that, I'd also say it wasn't her fault. She kept pace pretty well, especially since Kurobara put their captain in the second leg. The hand-off was also something that happens, we didn't lose that much time from it."

"Ok, what about the third girl?"

Yotsuba vehemently shook her head. "Sakaguchi-san definitely wasn't to blame; the hand-off delayed her start, and Kitagawa put their fastest sprinter in the third leg instead of the fourth. It was only natural she'd lose a spot or two; it's not her fault."

"What about the fourth girl?"

Yotsuba frowned. "All her fault. She should have done better."

We both let out a small laugh at that. Then, looking down at her tear-streaked face, mere centimetres away from mine, I just gave her a squeeze.

"That's not true, and you know it," I said quietly. "The team rises together and falls together. Your teammates depend on you, and you depend on them, right?"

"I... I guess," Yotsuba said quietly, her voice raspy.

"Then it's not your fault. It's not helpful to assign blame, right? You don't need to feel like you let your teammates down."

"But... but, Uesugi-san," she said, and her voice finally cracked, "if I can't help them win, what's even the point of me being there? What's the point, if I can't even do what they need me to do?"

At her words, she broke again, lowering her head back into my shoulder; and I held her tightly as the second wave of sobs racked through her body. Her hand clutched at my back, and I could feel my chest constricting in pain.

Her words, whispered into a phone in the depths of a cold night, echoed back to me in my mind.

I promised them that I would become somebody important. Somebody who was needed.

I didn't like seeing her like this. I couldn't do anything except feel helpless.

Eventually, though, as I held her tight and she cried into my shoulder, she eventually calmed. Pulling back and sniffing, she looked up at me.

"Sorry, Uesugi-san," she said, her eyes even redder than they had been. "I, um... I'll get you a tissue or something for your shoulder."

I waved her off with my free hand. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I don't really care about my shirt, I'm more concerned about you."

"I'm fine," Yotsuba said, her voice strained. "Really, I am."

I raised an extremely skeptical eyebrow at her.

"...Ok, I will be fine," she said, looking away from me. "I'm just... I'm not right now. But I will be. So... you don't need to worry, Uesugi-san."

Somehow, after everything that had just happened, her words stung. It was as though, after the connection that had been there as she cried into my shoulder, after she had opened up about her insecurities, she was backing out again, retreating behind a mask.

Biting my lip, I just nodded, and looked away as well.

There was an awkward silence between us, neither quite knowing how to proceed. My arm was still around Yotsuba's shoulder... but where before it had felt comfortable, and easy, suddenly it felt unsettled; as though leaving it there wasn't quite right, but removing it also wasn't quite right. It was a strange, interstitial zone.

Ambiguous.

Then, after a moment, Yotsuba coughed.

"Um," she said, glancing back over at me as she rubbed at her eyes to remove the last remnants of the tears, "you... you were going to tell me about your ex, remember?"

"Uh... right."

Awkwardly, I finally removed my arm from around her shoulders, a move that prompted a small, subtle movement from her; a look crossed her face for a fraction of a moment, but I couldn't tell if it was disappointment or relief. It was too fast for me to discern.

"I... don't really know where to start," I said awkwardly, scratching my head. "Let me think..."

Yotsuba waited silently while I stared at the wall across the narrow hallway, my mind churning. Reconstructing facts about her appearance, her personality, the time we'd spent together. The time we'd spent apart. The good. The bad.

Her flowing, black hair.

"Her name," I said softly, "is Takebayashi."

Yotsuba stayed silent, looking up at me.

"We were in elementary school together," I said quietly. "I was young, and a bit of a delinquent, and also a bit of an idiot. Takebayashi was in my class, and was always a top student. Something I couldn't be... and so, I looked up to her a lot."

Glancing over at Yotsuba, I was a bit surprised to see how un-surprised she looked at learning I'd been a delinquent.

"Go on," she said simply.

"I had a bit of a crush on her, but it wasn't anything major. The sort of stupid crush that kids have. I would show off for her, and she would tell me to shape up. That sort of thing. At least, that's how it started."

Shifting my shoulders, I sighed. Talking about her was dredging up memories that I'd been trying desperately to bury for years.

"In the summer of our last year of elementary school, we went on a school trip. While I was there, I had... I don't really know how to put this."

Pulling my legs in tight, I focused in on the wall across from me. It was blank. Plain. Easy to lose yourself in.

"A 'life-changing experience'. I guess that's probably the best way to put it. I... met someone, who changed my life. Someone who completely turned my outlook on its head."

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Yotsuba, but I ignored it; my unseeing eyes were locked forward, my thoughts and my vision turned entirely inward.

To her.

My jaw tightened.

"I decided on that trip that I was going to devote myself to studying. I wanted to improve myself... and become somebody who could make a lot of money, and support my family. I wanted that with everything I had."

A pause. The words were hard to get out.

"I wanted to be somebody who was needed."

Leaning back, my head gently knocked against the wall behind me, and I closed my eyes. Somehow, the ensuing darkness made it... easier.

"You might not believe this," I said softly, "but I was a terrible student. I don't know, maybe I've told you this before. I couldn't study to save my life; and I didn't have any interest in it before the trip. So, when I got back, I tried to throw myself into it... and failed."

There was a quick laugh from Yotsuba, though I didn't open my eyes to look at her. Yet, she didn't say anything, something that I quietly appreciated.

This is hard enough as it is...

Taking a breath, I squared my shoulders. "That's where Takebayashi... that's where she came in. I went to her, and asked her to help me. Begged her, really. I was completely lost, and she was my guiding light. She was the best example I had of what I wanted to be."

Yotsuba was silent, the only sound the softness of her breathing next to me.

"I... admired her. A lot," I murmured. "Eventually, she agreed to tutor me. I was ecstatic; I'd tried and tried on my own, and it went nowhere. I needed the help. It took a long time, but she was eventually able to whip me into shape, more or less, by the time New Year's came around six months later.

"I was spending nearly every week-night at her place, or in the library, or studying at my family's apartment. Always with her. Sometimes, her friend would join us; you saw him earlier, the black-haired boy leaning on the column when I ran away. Sanada."

"I don't think I actually saw him," Yotsuba said. "I didn't really get to see anything before you dragged me away."

"A-Ah," I said, opening my eyes and glancing at her. "My bad."

"It's fine," she said dismissively. She wasn't quite looking at me. "Keep going."

"Right. Sanada," I said, turning back to look at the wall across from me. "Anyways, he would join us sometimes... but a lot of the time, it was just the two of us. Originally, I was convinced I didn't have a shot with her. She and Sanada were childhood friends, and it was obvious at a glance how close they were. But..."

Trailing off, I shifted uncomfortably. We were starting to get into the point that I hadn't spoken about in years.

To anybody.

"I was wrong," I whispered. "On New Year's Eve, we went to a shrine together, and then stayed up to watch the sunrise. I balled up my courage, and... I asked her out."

There was dead silence from Yotsuba.

"She said yes."

Swallowing, I closed my eyes again.

"There were only about three months left before we moved on to middle school. We knew that. We were also young; we didn't really know what it meant to date. So, it mostly consisted of us doing what we'd already been doing. Spending time together, hanging out. Going for dates, if you could call them that."

"If you could call them that...?" Yotsuba asked, a questioning tone in her voice.

"We had no idea what we were doing," I shrugged, opening my eyes. "It was mostly just walking around the mall holding hands. That sort of thing."

"...Oh."

"But... I was happy," I murmured. "I was really happy. I was in love, and I was getting to spend loads of time with the girl I admired. So... everything was perfect in my eyes. I was dating my tutor, sure, but I didn't care about that."

God, this is hard.

"Before we knew it, the school year had ended... and we weren't going to the same middle school. Takebayashi was going to go to a really good school on a scholarship, a prestigious one that my family could never afford, and my grades still weren't good enough to warrant any kind of consideration. I didn't want her to go, but I also wasn't selfish enough to try and hold her back from that. We promised we would try to still make it work... and we did. For a while."

Pulling my legs tighter, I looked up at the ceiling. I was studiously avoiding Yotsuba's face.

"As time went on, though... things got rockier. I... I was alone at my new school, and I was obsessed with studying. It was hard to make new friends. I tried, at least at first. But... it kept blowing up in my face. I would think I'd made a friend... and then, when I needed to prioritize studying over hanging out, they would abandon me. Sometimes, it was amicable; we would just slowly stop talking. I would talk to them, and they would get this awkward look on their face... and eventually, I learned to stop."

"Sometimes?" Yotsuba asked quietly.

"Sometimes. Sometimes, it... wasn't. Sometimes, they would end the friendship... or, whatever it was, loudly, and publicly. With name-calling, and anger, and... there were people who I'd thought were kind, and friendly. I learned pretty quickly that I was terrible at reading people."

She shifted next to me, her shoulder pressing against mine... and somehow, the touch made it a bit easier.

"...and Takebayashi?" she murmured.

"We would still meet up, and go for dates... but I had to work twice as hard to succeed, once I wasn't being tutored by her every day. More and more of my life was eaten up by studying... and I had less and less time to go out with her. It was once I didn't have her as a support anymore that I realized just how much of my success had really just been her. Not me."

All of it, really.

"I realized... I couldn't be dependent on her. As my tutor, she'd taken all the responsibility for my success onto herself... and I'd come to rely on her. So, I threw myself entirely into studying, so that I could become the sort of person I wanted to be... and it backfired on me."

I could feel it -- I was trembling. Memories had been flooding back for a while; images of her black hair, of the warmth in her eyes. The fire, and rage, that had been there in the end.

The pain of our final conversation.

"It's kind of funny, looking back... our first kiss was only a couple of weeks before the end. Maybe it was her way of trying to get me to stop, to make time for her... I don't know. Eventually, it fell apart. Small arguments, born from miscommunication and distance... that grew with time."

Yotsuba's shoulder against mine grew tighter. I could only guess what she was thinking; it was obvious she could feel that I was trembling.

"In the end," I whispered, "the last fight was awful. It hurt, a lot. She... said a lot of things. Painful things..."

"Uesugi-san..."

"True things, too." I said, my voice shaking. "About the choices I'd made, and about my priorities... and about love. It was messy. I... I made her cry."

Yotsuba was silent.

"Then... it was done. I was gone from her life, and I'd done it to myself. Looking back, it wasn't entirely my fault... but a lot of it was."

Most of it.

My hands slid down to clutch around my lower shins. Somehow, pulling my legs in towards my body made me feel... smaller. As though, by reducing my size, I could evade the sight of the memories and emotions that were raging in my head. That were making my chest feel as though it were on fire, melting in the heat.

"I'd never been in that much emotional pain before," I murmured. "I just... shut down. I threw myself even more into studying, so that I could escape the guilt, and the hurt. Through my own stupidity, my first love had ended in flames."

Yotsuba's hand, light and cold, slipped forward and gently touched the back of mine. A quiet show of support. Yet, I still wasn't looking at her.

"So... eventually, I began to rationalize it," I said, my voice cracking. "I brooded, and I chewed over the decision... and I told myself that I'd made a mistake -- not in studying, but in wasting my time with love in the first place. I convinced myself that love was moronic, and going out with Takebayashi had been the last remnant of the idiot I'd been before. That those who chose to love were fools, who would never amount to anything. That I would never again let myself be one of them."

Her hand on mine tightened, squeezing.

"I suppressed my emotions... because they hurt too much," I breathed. "I tried my best to lock away anything that didn't serve my purposes... and told myself it was for the best. That if I poured my everything into studying, and ignored everything else, I could become what I'd truly wanted."

Finally turning to look at Yotsuba, I could feel myself still shaking... but I steadied myself, and met her eye.

"I could become somebody who was needed. I could support my family, and to hell with anything I may have lost along the way."

Yotsuba's blue eyes were shadowed in the hallway, the austere fluorescent lights partially blocked by her ribbon and her hair hanging over her face. Yet, as she gazed at me, there was a look there that I truly didn't understand. It was too complex; too deep an array of emotion, of conflicting feeling and pain and hope and loss, and a thousand other things that I couldn't identify.

We stayed like that, wordless, for an innumerable amount of time. Seconds. Years. Eventually, though, Yotsuba's hand moved along mine, and interlaced her fingers with my own; and as our eyes held one another, there was a strange, unspoken feeling there.

"Uesugi-san..."

We were only a couple dozen centimetres apart. Her eyes were entrancing me, and after all I'd said, I wasn't sure I was thinking straight. I--

"...are you still in love with her?"

I looked away from her.

"...I don't know."

A sharp intake of breath from Yotsuba. I could feel the muscles in her hand tighten, subtly conveying the emotions she was feeling, whatever those were.

"...I don't think so," I continued, closing my eyes. "The pain is still there, buried. I locked up a lot of things... but I could never get rid of that. The fear, too; of seeing the same look in her eyes that I saw that night. I gave up on making new friends after what happened with her. So... it's hard to know what I feel. That said..."

Yotsuba was silent.

"I don't think so," I repeated, my voice growing more confident. "She's going to always be a part of me... but I think what's left now isn't love. It's... something a lot less than that. I... don't really know what it is."

She shifted, and let go of my hand. I glanced back at her to see that she was staring off at the other wall, her arms now crossed across her legs.

"I... see," she said dully, not quite looking at me.

I frowned. Somehow, I got the sense I'd said something to upset her... but I wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Did I say something to hurt you?" I asked, frowning. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"No," Yotsuba said. "I just... I'm processing a lot."

"Fair enough," I murmured, turning back.

I... don't know what to say.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Yotsuba rose to her feet. Dusting herself off, she glanced down at me.

"We should probably go back," she said flatly. "They'll be upset if we take too much longer."

"Oh-- right," I said, rising uncertainly to my feet. "Uh... good call."

That was a bit abrupt...

She started to walk out... but then stopped, and turned to look back at me.

"Uesugi-san?"

"...Yes?"

"Thanks for telling me. It means a lot that you opened up to me like that."

I blinked, surprised. "Yeah, sure. I did promise, after all."

Yotsuba turned back around, and walked ahead of me out of the hallway; yet, as she turned left to walk back towards the group that was still milling around waiting for us, I caught a glance of her face.

The look that had often snuck onto her face was there in full-force... but there was more.

Hurt.

Guilt.

Wait... guilt? That doesn't make any sense.

"Yotsuba..."

"Come on, Uesugi-san, let's go," she spun around and smiled at me, with energy that didn't quite reach her eyes. "They're waiting for us."

As she trotted back over to her teammates, and they eventually departed to go celebrate, I was overcome by a sinking feeling in my stomach. An unknown sense of anxiety, my subconscious identifying a source of danger that my waking mind hadn't yet honed in on.

Somehow, as Yotsuba walked away, she seemed further away than she'd ever been.

Notes:

A storm's brewin'...

The next few chapters are going to be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I hope you'll all bear with me.

As a warning ahead of time, there are probably going to be some more disruptions to the publication schedule (insofar as I have one...) -- I'll do my best to get chapters out in a timely manner, but I'm afraid I can't make any promises.

I have a good reason, though, I promise! Namely, I'm getting married in early July. So... that's been eating up quite a bit of my time at the moment; as you might imagine haha. It also means that, as we move further into June, I'm going to have even less time to write...

I'm planning to put out chapters when I can, but I may end up delaying so that I can space certain chapters in such a way as to not have too long of a gap between them. You'll definitely see why when we get there.

Finally, a huge thank you to Miimbot for sharing some of their research on Japanese track meets with me. Their help was invaluable, and I really appreciate it!

Thanks for reading, and see you in the next chapter!

Chapter 37: Spiralling (or, A Winter Apart)

Chapter 37:
Spiralling
(or, A Winter Apart)

The sky was depressingly absent of snow.

Instead, the grey clouds that loomed overhead, dark and murky as they rumbled through the sky, threatened but one thing: rain. Even as lights were being hung in the streets, and trees were being put up with their assorted festive decorations, the ground remained devoid of white, and the pavement was darkened by downpours.

Such was winter in Nagoya.

Returning home after the last day of school before the winter break, ashen grey was omnipotent; streets seemed to streak past me in smeared shades, colour desaturated by the drained light passing through the clouds far above my head. As it was, the sun was already on the verge of setting; soon, streetlights would turn on, a desperate attempt to lighten the pressing darkness.

To hold back the night.

Bzzt.

Pulling out my phone, I sighed at the newly-arrived email from Raiha -- a reminder of her earlier request that I stop by the store on my way home.

Something about needing eggs for a "secret project"... whatever that meant.

Pressing the back button on my phone, I exited out of the email. With a click, the screen returned to my list of conversations... and my eyes fell on the email chain that sat immediately under the one with Raiha.

Yotsuba.

After the day of the race, as the hours ticked down during the final few days of school, she'd seemed... distant. We'd still spoken as we normally did. All of the words were the same... but everything seemed off. There'd been a strange timbre to her voice, an unresolved harmonic, a layer that hadn't been there before... and I hadn't been sure how to handle it.

Maybe the one that’s off is me? Maybe I’m overthinking everything.

Maybe I’m thinking about the wrong things.

As the glass doors of the grocery store slid open and I walked inside, I was lost in thought. My feet carried me to the correct aisle on their own, devoid of conscious direction from my brain. As I picked up the carton of eggs, my eyes were glazed. My focus was turned entirely inward.

Maybe I’m the one being strange.

I'd had lunch with Yotsuba earlier in the day... but that same sense of wrongness had been settled over us like a fine coating of dust. It had been as though we'd been locked in a two-step, but it had spontaneously grown discordant, each slightly out of sync with the other’s movement; each trying to compensate for the change, but the compensation serving only to drive us both further out of step.

In between her laughter, hidden in the cracks of her smile, it had been there. I was sure of it. I'd sensed that there was something under the surface. Something that--

"Will you be needing a bag, sir?"

"No."

It's just one carton.

Emerging onto the street, a light drizzle had begun to fall. Inconsequential droplets, impacting and then ignored; powerless in their scarcity.

I pulled out my phone again, water splattering across the screen, blurring the words written there.

The response she’d sent me during lunch the day of the race. A simple thank you, nothing more. We hadn’t emailed since then; radio silence, so to speak. Yet, beneath her message, growing more and more distorted by liquid pooling on the tilted glass, was text in red.

A draft.

Half-composed. Revised, scrutinized, thrice-over deleted.

I’d been mulling over it all day; but, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to send it. Not when I was feeling so uncertain, as though my feet were searching for stability on shifting sands.

This is nothing.

Why is this so difficult?

Snapping the phone shut in frustration, droplets of water spraying out the side, I slid it back into my pocket, and held the carton of eggs close to my chest to shield it from the rain. The streets seemed to blur together as I walked the rest of the way back to our apartment, my eyes not really taking in the detail of the vistas around me.

Luckily, my legs knew the way.

Eventually, I was in the door, hair sprinkled with water and glistening like grass adorned with dew; and as I handed the eggs off to my sister, I couldn’t help but smile as her glee-filled face.

A temporary swell of joy.

It didn’t last.

As Raiha busied herself in the kitchen, carefully shielding her secret project from my prying eyes with her back, I pulled my phone back out and dried it off. Then, lying on my back on the tatami mats, I stared up at the screen.

At what I’d written.

At what I’d been too uncertain to send.

<Hey Yotsuba, would you possibly like to do something together with me over the winter break?>

It was stupid. A message like this was nothing. I’d sent her dozens of emails at this point to make plans; I’d invited her to go to a fireworks festival with Raiha and me shortly after meeting her. There was absolutely no reason for me to be hesitating.

Yet…

Deep in my chest, there was uneasiness. A quiet stirring, sourced from somewhere deeper in the cage; and yet, something also not quite contained within.

Some quiet instinct holding me back. Whispering ‘danger’ in my ear. Whispering--

You’re just afraid. Everything’s fine.

Lowering the phone, I gently banged it against my forehead in frustration, the speaker at the top impacting on my skin. There was something wrong, and I couldn’t figure out what the hell it was.

“Onii-chan, um… what are you doing?”

I glanced up past the phone to see Raiha looking down at me with concern, a spatula in one hand.

“Angsting,” I said dryly. “Dramatically.”

“Oh.”

There was a moment’s pause, and then Raiha came and crouched down next to me.

“So… why’re you angsting?”

Sighing, I lowered my arms to the mat, lying spread-eagled. The flip-phone, snapped shut, slipped out of my hand and tumbled a few centimetres away before coming to a rest. Raiha glanced over at it, and pursed her lips.

“Raiha,” I said morosely, staring unmovingly up at the ceiling, “being an adult is hard.”

“Onii-chan, you’re still in high school.”

“Very hard,” I said, nodding to myself. “So, I’m afraid that I don’t have the mental bandwidth to explain it to—”

“Hmm, you’re angsting about Yotsuba-nee-chan, aren’t you?” Raiha said sagely, standing up and shaking her head.

“No, I’m not—”

“Onii-chan, you’re having girl problems!”

“What-- No! Raiha, I was joking, I—”

My sister reached down and plucked my phone off the floor. Flipping it open and ignoring my squawks of protest, she scanned the drafted email I’d written, then glanced down at me wordlessly.

Eventually, I fell quiet, and then scowled at her. “What?”

Silently, Raiha looked between me and the phone.

“Onii-chan… this message...”

Suddenly, an impish look came across her face, and a burst of worry exploded in my chest. A click, a ding… and then Raiha snapped my phone shut and put it down on my chest.

“Raiha, what the heck did you just do?!”

“Now you don’t need to angst about your love life!” she said, the impish grin turning into an angelic smile. “Relax, Onii-chan! Anyways, I’m gonna go back to working on my secret project!”

Then, she fled, giggling as I grabbed at her ankles to try and drag her down to the tatami mat. Once she’d safely escaped to the kitchen, I gingerly picked my phone up off my shirt with a sigh, and flipped it open to check the damage.

With a sinking feeling, I saw that Raiha had sent the email… and then my chest clenched in panic as I realized that she’d added a heart to the end.

Damn it, Raiha!

Suppressing flashbacks to the artistic bento she’d made me months before, I hastily typed into my phone, hoping to be able to do damage control before Yotsuba could respond to my message.

<Sorry, Raiha got my phone and messed with the end of the message. I did want to ask about-- >

Bzzt .

As I was almost finished typing the message, my stomach dropped as I got the notification for a new email. Backing out of the draft, I slowly scrolled up and scanned the message Yotsuba had sent me…

...and then slowly lowered the phone to the floor.

<Sorry, Uesugi-san. I can’t.>

I could feel an icy feeling in my chest; a subtle anxiety, creeping along my ribcage, adhered to the top of my diaphra g m, drawn into my lungs with every breath I took. Like frozen air in the depths of winter, it stung in my throat, tiny needles stabbing into me.

Cold.

I hadn’t quite been sure I believed it, but there definitely was something off with Yotsuba. Some kind of distance that had opened up between us; and it frustrated me. It was as if it were itching just under my skin, a spot that I couldn’t quite scratch. I didn’t understand, at least intellectually, what was wrong. I’d said or done something , and--

Bzzt.

The vibration of the phone against the tatami mats, dancing along the floor as a herald announces an entrant to the court, ripped my attention away from within, my eyes torn away from the bland corner of the ceiling to which they’d grown transfixed. Hurriedly grabbing at my phone and hunching over , I flipped it open again to see another email from Yotsuba.

<Ah, that was more curt than I meant it to be. Sorry! We’re going on a family vacation, so we’ll be out of town starting tomorrow evening until school starts again . I think Ebata-san said something about a tropical island…? I don’t know all the details, I’ve been too busy to look into it.>

Leaning back until I was sitting on my knees perfectly upright, I lowered the phone, and stared blankly at the wall.

Oh. Right.

I forgot.

She’s rich.

Yet, if she was leaving the next day, and gone until the start of the new semester…

A small flicker of disappointment flared in my chest; but, it was a childish thing, something I’d have scoffed at months before.

But…

No. Nevermind.

Being unable to spend Christmas or New Years with someone was a silly thing to be upset about.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” I murmured to myself numbly. “Going to a shrine with a girl on New Years… isn’t particularly auspicious for me.”

“Hmm? Did you say something, Onii-chan?”

“No,” I scowled in Raiha’s general direction. “Also, I’m still mad at you for sending that message without asking.”

“I’d say sorry, but I don’t want to lie to you, Onii-chan!”

Sighing, I looked back at the phone.

I need to respond…

As I flipped the phone back open to revise my draft, I suddenly got hit with a barrage of messages all at once.

<But… I would have loved to do stuff with you during winter break, Uesugi-san!>

<Next year, okay?>

<It’s a promise>

The ice in my lungs dispersed, and I sighed.

She’s impossible. I’m way too susceptible to this sort of thing.

Then, my eyes trailed over her emails, and lingered on a phrase; catching on it, like a thread hooked on a stray slip of metal, I couldn’t shake the quiet feeling that was beginning to spark in the depths of my chest.

Next year…

Slowly, I breathed out, and shook my head.

That’s right. We have next year. The year after that as well. Also, the year after the year after that. Also...

“It isn’t ephemeral,” I murmured to myself. “She’ll still be here.”

I wanted to believe it.

I wanted to believe that if I let go, if I stepped back, if I breathed, everything would be fine. I wanted to believe that if I let my muscles relax, if I allowed myself to release the quiet tension that lingered in every part of my body like a spring turned too tightly, if I could just trust…

It’s not that easy.

Deep in the cage, in the shadows, beyond the beast, a whisper.

A warning.

Stay on your guard.

After all, I’d thought that with her as--

Bzzt.

Another message.

Flipping the phone back open once again, I saw that I’d gotten another two messages from Yotsuba.

<Also, geez, Uesugi-san you dog! What’s with the heart, huh? Oh my oh my, I bet you send that to all the ladies, don’t you???>

<Shishishishishi>

I stared down at my phone… and then I groaned, and lowered my head into my hands.

Damn it, Raiha.

Yet, after a moment’s silence, something snapped… and I suddenly found myself bursting out laughing; peals of laughter, mirth ringing out through the entire room, overwhelming and completely unstoppable.

“Eh?!” Raiha said, running into the room and staring down at me in shock, batter-laden spatula firmly in hand. “Onii-chan, what’s wrong? Are you dying?! You sound like you’re dying!”

“Hey,” I said, trying to scowl at her through my laughter. “That’s rude, you know.”

“I’m showing genuine concern here!”

“Sure you are,” I said, attempting desperately to reel the mirth back in-- and failing. “This… this is all your fault, you know.”

“What is?”

“Yotsuba thinks that I’m-- ugh, nevermind. Go back to what you were doing.”

“Onii-chan,” Raiha said, trying not to laugh as she walked back into the kitchen, “I’m sure I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Liar.”

Raiha’s giggles echoed throughout the small apartment, and I shook my head ruefully. Opening up the email chain, I looked over my draft, deleted it, and then finally typed a response.

<All good, thanks for letting me know. It would have been nice, but if you’re going to be overseas, there’s not much we can do about it. Also, sorry about the heart. Raiha stole my phone and added it without my permission. Which means, actually, Raiha is the one sending it to all the girls. Sorry you had to find out this way.>

I looked over the message one last time, nodded quietly to myself one last time in amused satisfaction, and then sent it.

My quiet revenge… throwing Raiha under the bus.

Somehow… it was a lot easier to send that time.

There was no further communication from Yotsuba for a while, and eventually I pulled my school bag close to me, and began studying; it was moreso out of boredom than any particular need. After about an hour, Raiha finished whatever her secret project was, and came out to sit with me; I pretended not to notice the fleck of batter that was on her cheek.

Another hour or so later, my father returned home from his job at the warehouse, and we had dinner; outside, the sun had long-since set. As the bath was drawn, and Raiha began yawning, I suddenly felt… restless. I needed to move.

“Raiha, can you tell Dad that I’m going to step out for a moment?”

“’Kaaaaay...”

Slipping into the kitchen, I pulled on my shoes and coat, and stepped out the door.

Just for a few moments. I need to move, just for a few moments.

The tension I’d been feeling, the sense of not being able to relax… even with everything, it hadn’t gone away. It never really went away; it just faded into the background, the useless heat bath of stress that enveloped my entirety on a daily basis. In this moment, it had chosen to manifest itself in my legs, and as I strode down the steps, my feet demanded use.

I didn’t want to go far. Just… somewhere.

In lieu of going for a walk, I found myself pacing on the pavement outside our apartment.

Oscillatory.

Back and forth, rhythmic, like a pendulum.

Two weeks…

Both a long time, and also no time at all. It was fourteen days until we were back at school… and yet, somehow, it felt immense; like a gaping chasm of time across which I couldn’t reach Yotsuba. We were going to be separated… and the thought caused a tightness in my stomach, a feeling of a stone settling there, heavy and unwieldy.

I didn’t like it.

I really didn’t like it.

On the fifteenth lap, I felt a buzz in my pocket. Hurriedly pulling my phone out, I saw a series of messages from Yotsuba.

<Shock!>

<Don’t worry, Uesugi-san, I’ll love Raiha-chan no matter how many girls she sends hearts to!>

<Also… yeah, it is too bad. I guess we’ll just have to do lots of stuff next year!>

Quietly, I typed in a response.

<I’m glad. Have a great time on your vacation! We’ll definitely do stuff together next year as well.>

Lowering my phone back into my pocket, I stared up at the night sky. There were no stars; everything was obscured by the clouds which had taken up permanent residence across the sky. Lit from below by the street lamps, their threat of rain long-since delivered upon, they now simply seemed bleak.

Empty, and devoid of form.

Despite how much I may have wanted it. Despite how much the whispers in my chest may have wished for it. Despite how simple things would be if things were picture-perfect like in a movie…

Despite everything, there wouldn’t be snow.

Not this year.

I felt worn out.

Climbing back up the stairs, I returned to the house, and had my bath. Soon, the futons had been brought out, and I was curled up in bed, the lights off and the only sounds the breathing of the building and the rustling of tree branches.

On the verge of sleep, I stared blearily at my conversation with Yotsuba. Quietly, in a haze, I mulled over the two weeks that she would be gone from my life… and a strong pang ran through my chest, making me shudder.

I can still want it to snow… can’t I?

Half-asleep, I typed a message, sent it, and then closed my eyes, the phone falling from my loose grip and clattering to the floor.

<I’ll miss you.>

Notes:

I wanted this shorter chapter to act as a bridge between the race, and the final three chapters of the arc. There are a lot of moving parts happening in Fuu and Yotsuba’s relationship right now… and I wanted this connection to help set the stage of how he, at least, is feeling.

On a separate note -- thank you to everyone for their well-wishes about the wedding! I’m really grateful; it was an amazing day, and I’m so happy to have been able to marry the love of my life.

Also, we went to an anime store a few days after the wedding, and she encouraged me to pick up my first piece of Yotsuba merch, so that’s how you really know she’s a keeper.

See you all next chapter!

Chapter 38: On The Verge (Part I)

Chapter 38:
On The Verge
(Part I)

Rumble rumble.

Far in the distance, the sound of thunder reverberated, an omen of an epicentre that was yet to arrive. The black cover of clouds, looming large overhead, was immediate and visceral. There was no threat of rain – because the threat was already in the midst of being delivered, and torrential waters were pouring down from the heavens, slamming in fat heavy droplets against the panes of glass that were my only protection from the storm.

“Alright, we’ll wrap there for the period. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

Gathering my books, I slid them into my bag, and then stood up. With one final glance out the window at the uncharacteristic January storm, I walked out of the classroom accompanied by another far-off crack of thunder.

The two weeks of winter break had gone by both in the blink of an eye; and yet, also agonizingly slowly. I’d attempted to distract myself from the uneasy feelings consuming me by retreating to familiar ground: studying relentlessly for hours upon hours on end. It had even reached the point where Raiha had been forced to remind me to eat, an occurrence that hadn’t happened in… a while.

Yet, even with an entire education’s worth of distractions, it hadn’t worked.

As I'd poured over material, studying the details of the Frobenius method of solving ordinary differential equations, Yotsuba's face had kept re-emerging in my mind. The look on her face at the track meet as she'd walked away from me. The exhaustion which had plagued her for weeks leading up to the event, the self-destructive drive that I'd been able to do almost nothing to stop. The strange distance between us in the week that had followed.

The break had been filled with nothing but anxiety for me.

It was over now, though. It was the second day back at school; and while I hadn’t been able to really see Yotsuba the first day, given the general hustle and bustle of the new term, I was hopeful that today would be different.

<Lunch?>

Firing off the message as I walked out of the classroom, I was heartened to see an emoji of a thumbs up given as a quick response. There was a small part of me that had, irrationally, feared that something would change in the new year. That, after two weeks apart, Yotsuba would slip further and further away, and eventually… she would just disappear from my life.

Obviously, that hadn’t happened.

Obviously.

I could feel my chest clench.

Pushing open the doors to the cafeteria, I made my way over to the counter to order my food – the usual, as always. Yet, as I waited for them to prepare my lunch, my mind was wandering; and the quiet feeling of unease remained as omnipresent as ever, clinging like hoarfrost to my spine and whispering formless warnings to my heart.

On the first day, I’d barely seen Yotsuba-- but I’d seen Itsuki, by virtue of being in the same class. When I’d asked her about how the holiday had been, she’d gotten a far away look in her eye, and muttered something about deserted islands. I hadn’t been entirely certain what that meant… but after she’d returned to earth, she’d mentioned that Yotsuba had been, uncharacteristically, pretty grumpy during the entire trip.

I wasn’t sure quite what to think of that.

Maybe the lack of sleep from training and studying finally caught up to her.

I wasn’t quite at the point of allowing myself to believe it was anything else, despite Itsuki's words causing a strangely warm feeling in my chest. Yet, casting my mind back to how exhausted Yotsuba had seemed in the lead-up to the track meet, I couldn’t help but worry. As my food finally arrived, and I made my way to our usual table, I could feel my face slipping into a frown.

Speaking of the track meet... when she left the hallway... what was that reaction? She--

“Uesugi-saaaaaaaaaan!”

Yotsuba’s call across the cafeteria snapped me out of my own thoughts, and I looked up to see her standing and vigorously waving at me from our table – an action which grabbed no small portion of the attention of the surrounding student body. Feeling my cheeks heating up, I hurried over to her, and sank into the seat across the table.

“Hey,” I said, trying to ignore the fifty pairs of eyes locked firmly onto the back of my head. “Good to see you. How was the trip?”

“Ehh,” she said, a pained look crossing her face as she sat back down. “Not so great. I’m pretty glad to be home.”

“I… see,” I said, frowning. As my eyes took her in for the first time in over two weeks, I noticed with relief that the exhaustion that had been etched into every corner of her face before she’d left had, at least to an extent, abated. There was a modicum of colour in her cheeks that had been markedly absent in the lead-up to the finals and the track meet.

All I could do was hope that the change was more than just a temporary fix.

“Yeah, we’re never letting Ebata-san plan a vacation again,” Yotsuba sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t want to see another deserted island for as long as I live.”

“Itsuki said that same thing,” I frowned. “What—”

“Sorry, Uesugi-san, but it’s something I’ll take with me until the day I die,” Yotsuba said, the same far-away look coming into her eyes that her sister had sported.

I decided to drop it.

As we ate, and Yotsuba talked about basically anything other than her two weeks off, I just sat and listened, drinking everything in. There was a… comfort in being able to hear her voice again. There had been something deeply lonely about the time that we'd been apart.

Deep in my chest, in the cage, there was a low purr.

Shut up, I’m trying to listen.

"Oh! By the way," Yotsuba said, swallowing her food. "I finally managed to get the schedule for track changed. It's maybe not as pressing anymore, since, uh... Takeda-san isn't... anyways, point is, I can study on weekdays again!"

I felt a jolt; sitting up straighter, I could feel my face breaking out into a smile. "Really? That's amazing news. When was that decided?"

“We started up practice again earlier this week, so I took the opportunity to suggest it then, and the other girls were pretty on-board. My weekends will be a lot busier, but... it is what it is."

"That's a relief," I said, leaning back in my chair. "I guess we can start going to the library again."

"Yeah! It was pretty easy, all things considered. There have been a lot of changes since winter break," Yotsuba mused, poking at her food. "It’s definitely been a bit weird in the track club without Eba-san there in an official capacity, but she’s still there basically every day, so it barely feels like she’s left. Except, you know, the fact she doesn't have control over the schedule.”

“Eh?”

It took a moment for Yotsuba's words to sink in... and then I bolted upright.

“Eba… left the track team?!”

Yotsuba frowned, and tilted her head. “Yeah. She’s a third year, you know?”

“...And?”

“Third years aren’t technically allowed to participate in club activities after the winter break,” Yotsuba said, tilting her head the other way, her ribbon flopping above her head. “They’re supposed to be preparing for entrance exams.”

“Hmm. I see. That explains why she was so… frantic,” I mused, settling back into my chair.

Yotsuba shook her head. “No, she’s just like that. Anyways, like I said, she’s there so often that she basically hasn’t dropped out.”

“I see,” I said, biting my lip. There was something that quietly bothered me about Eba continuing to hang around the track team… but I had an inkling that it was just my own dislike of her on a personal level that was speaking, and so I kept quiet.

“Despite... you know, how she is, it’s nice she’s still training us,” Yotsuba said, stretching. “We’ve got another friendly in late February; it’s the last meet we have before the actual qualifiers for prefecturals begin in April. I can use all the help I can get.”

“I see,” I repeated, nodding. “I know you’ll do great; just try not to over-do it, ok?”

“I’ll be fine.”

I frowned. That was a bit curt...

My eyes tracing over Yotsuba's face, I could see the small cracks in the mask that she wore; the hints of the various emotions that often swirled underneath. I could tell that my caution had mildly annoyed her; and as my eyes met hers, I was reminded of just how resistant she'd been to any attempts to make her rest.

Too bad Nino isn't here to help.

"Right," I nodded, slightly taken aback. "I believe in you."

It was only later, as I returned to my seat in the classroom, that I realized she once again hadn’t actually agreed to anything.

Slowly, achingly, the days began to pass. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, we slipped back into our routines. Studying after class in the library. Having lunch together, talking over our plans for the midterms. Weekends at the Nakano apartment, when she didn't have practice.

It should have been easy.

It should have been comfortable.

But it wasn't.

Day by day, I watched Yotsuba as she picked up exactly where she'd left off -- with everything that entailed. She was like a whirlwind, always going; driven onward by relentless force, she was everywhere. Studying. Running. Studying. Running.

It felt like I was a spectator. There had been a phase change somewhere along the line, compared to the months before the break; and somehow, I was on the outside looking in. Despite all the time we were spending together, there was a... reticence to the way that Yotsuba was interacting with me. The same strange distance that I'd sensed in the days before we'd parted. It would be there in force whenever we first met for the day; then, over time, it would fade away as she forgot herself, and relaxed.

It would never truly go away, though. In the moments between questions, between glances, when she thought I wasn't looking, I could see the emotions leaking out onto her face; that strange look of guilt, the one that had been on her face as she left me in the hallway of the track meet. The pain that I didn't understand.

I had no idea what to make of things.

What I did know was that she was on a path of self-destruction; a path that I knew well, a path my feet had walked a hundred times. I could see the signs; the shadows, the shot nerves, the lack of colour to her skin. The sluggishness with which she moved when she wasn't on the track. The frustration with herself that occasionally boiled over when she couldn't answer a question.

It was hard to watch; and I was powerless to stop it.

Sitting across from her in the library, textbooks strewn about as though a hurricane had barreled through the room, leaving devastation in its wake, I could feel the worry rising in my gullet like acid.

I didn't know what to do, and things were worsening by the day.

She was falling apart.

Yotsuba’s rejuvenation had ended up being exactly as short-lived as I’d feared. I could see it. The exhaustion building in the corners of her eyes. The bruised darkness underpinning their blue form. The shortness of her breath, the distraction.

She wasn’t sleeping enough.

“Uesugi-san, I don’t get this. Why is there a period when the temperature of ice stops changing as you heat it?”

“Well, there’s a thing called latent heat…”

Each question she asked me; each time she had a puzzled look on her face… I tried. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted her to be able to depend on me. I wanted to help her keep walking forward.

I was doing the things that I could.

Yet, every time, there was a voice in the back of my mind whispering.

You’re going to make it worse.

There was nothing we could do, save pressing on in blind hope that the lights ahead were the end of the tunnel... and not an oncoming train.

Two weeks had passed.

“Remember, the cosine law solves for the far side of a triangle. You’ve got it reversed…”

It was mid-January, and we were in the library. The grey light of winter was spilling through the windows, and scattering across the table; the textbooks splayed out like clothes on a messy floor were illuminated in the diffuse light filtering through the clouds. Notes, jotted from passages that were scarcely understood. It was all of it quick, hasty. Surface level knowledge, ornaments gilded with paper-thin leaf that could be scraped away with a fingernail, revealing the tarnished metal underneath.

“I’m going to get it,” Yotsuba said, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth. “Ok, one more time. The cosine law…”

“The cosine law relates a side of a triangle with the other two sides, and the far angle. So, if you know two sides and the angle between them, you can get the third one.”

"Ok..."

"So, given the side-lengths 'A' and 'B' here, and this angle 'theta', what's the side length 'C'?"

Yotsuba buried her head in her hands. “I’m just… Uesugi-san, it’s not clicking.”

I could see her hand trembling, and I could feel my chest clench. Biting my lip, I nodded to myself.

With everything going on, she’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

“Breathe,” I said quietly. “Let’s take a second, and then refocus.”

Yotsuba was quiet for a long moment… and then she nodded, and took a deep breath, her eyes still closed. She held it, a pregnant silence that seemed cacophonous in the cavern that was the library space. Then, slowly, with a control that spoke to the tension within her, she let the breath back out again. Looking over at me, she nodded.

“Ok. So… cosine law. It uses the angle opposite a side. So... I can just use the cosine law formula to find the side 'C', right?"

"Yep."

"Ok... what happens if I have a different angle?”

I blinked. “You use sine law.”

Yotsuba threw her hands up in frustration, a few papers fluttering over the table. Grimacing, I leaned back in my chair, and looked up at the ceiling. It was hard -- in the last few weeks, knowledge had been like water off a duck's back for her, forbidden from permeating her mind by the hydrophobic layer that was her exhaustion.

“Maybe it’s time to take a break?” I suggested.

“No,” she said flatly, looking back down at the papers, and beginning to organize them again. “I can’t afford to take a break.”

“I think you’re pushing yourself too hard,” I said, frowning. "Clearly, this isn't sticking; you'll be more effective if you take some time to rest, and allow the information to percolate for a bit in your mind. This is a valid part of studying."

"I said no, Uesugi-san," she repeated, her voice straining.

“Come on, Yotsuba. You need to pace yourself, burning the candle at both ends will just—”

“I said NO.”

I trailed off. There was a moment of stunned silence between us.

My eyes were wide; it felt almost like I was experiencing whiplash. The sudden sharp increase in volume, the harshness of her tone, the way her voice had cracked with emotion as she yelled – it caught me completely off guard. Deep in my chest, a strange feeling seemed to emerge. Strangely fragile, yet rough at the same time.

...It's happening again.

Yotsuba closed her eyes, and pinched her nose.

“Sorry, Uesugi-san,” she said, a frustrated tone in her voice. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I know you just have my best interests at heart.”

Silently, not sure how I was feeling, I nodded.

“I just… I just need to… I need to not.”

I nodded again.

Deep in my chest, the inky black fog leaked out of the cage, its darkness creeping along with an eerie heaviness to it. Slinking up my spine and up to my ear, it whispered quiet threats, laughing softly. Menacingly. Images flashed in my mind; memories, long-since hidden away in the depths of the iron bars, carried out on the winedark current that scoffed at the ever-more permeable protections I'd thrown up around my heart. Ice-cold breath, diffusing up through my body in curling, shearing eddies and flows.

So... this is always going to happen, huh?

I could feel the panic rising in my chest, expanding like a balloon pumped full with helium. With a great effort, I swallowed it down, and closed my eyes. Biting my lip, I forced the wraith back; forced it down my spine, back over the crenelated walls, and back, with spears and polearms and broadswords, into the depths of the cage.

Alone, I forced my fears back into the darkness from whence it had come.

Then, I opened my eyes, and glanced at Yotsuba.

She isn't like them. How many times do I need to learn this lesson?

Looking over her face, the shadows under her eyes seemed all the more prominent. The slight tremble of her hands, the shaking of her shoulders. They all spoke to the emotional fragility that had finally taken hold of her; the product of exhaustion that followed like a hunter in the night, unseen until the moment it struck.

Yotsuba wasn’t broken, not yet; but she was certainly bending.

We were both silent.

Her eyes were still closed.

Then, I sighed.

“It’s fine,” I said quietly, leaning back in my seat. “You’re clearly stressed. I don't like being yelled at, but... I shouldn’t have pressed the subject. If that’s what you want, I don’t really have the right to stop you.”

“...Thanks, Uesugi-san,” Yotsuba murmured, opening her eyes, but not quite looking at me.

A slight pang in my chest.

I ignored it.

She's shaking.

“Anyways,” I said, clearing my throat. “Triangles.”

“Right... triangles.”

The rest of the afternoon proceeded at a steady pace; yet, we never quite recovered. I couldn’t shake the underlying feeling of tension, clinging to my skin like oil. There was a silence between us; like a vacuum, it was detectable in the gaps, in the negative space between our interactions. The long periods where we didn’t share a single word. Yotsuba was focused on math, and I was focused on trying not to focus.

The uncomfortable quiet persisted on and on. Minute after minute after minute after minute after--

A ring.

My phone.

Raiha.

“Let’s call it there,” I said quietly, snapping it shut. “I need to head home.”

“Huh? Oh… right.”

We packed our bags silently, the air between us thick. It was uncomfortable, as though wading through a thick molasses, the wordlessness clinging to my every movement like a spider’s web. Even as I zipped my bag shut and threw it over my shoulder, Yotsuba wasn’t quite meeting my eye. Deep in my chest, there was a quiet whispering; a gentle expansion of frost.

It was coming back, slipping silently through the bars.

The mist.

The wraith.

We walked down to the footlockers together, and changed our footwear. Then, we left the front door, and headed over to the gate.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said quietly; the first words we'd shared since the library.

“Yeah…”

There was another moment of silence. Then, with a sigh, Yotsuba glanced over at me.

“Uesugi-san?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m... I'm sorry again for snapping at you. I just…”

A brief pang in my chest. But...

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, shaking my head. “You already apologized. It’s all good. I'm not mad at you.”

Yotsuba’s forehead remained crinkled with worry… but eventually, she nodded.

“Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, a clearly forced note of cheerfulness entering her voice.

“Mhmm.”

We parted ways there, and a short while later I was home. Yet, the journey was nothing more than a blur in my mind. Trees moving past, ashen grey as they stood barren, their leaves long-since lost. Clouds overhead threatening rain, subtle variations in shade doing nothing to make them stand out from the monochromatic background they themselves formed.

Detail was at a premium, one I wasn’t willing to pay. My mind was entirely elsewhere.

She’d yelled at me.

Biting my lip as I climbed the stairs to our apartment, I paused to look out at the street.

What am I doing?

Deep inside, the icy mist, dark as night, began to spread; viscous and thick, it expanded to fill the space in which it was contained. Shaking my head, I pushed the door open and stepped inside, bringing the cold air along with me.

I can't let this happen again.

I was just in time for dinner, a curry that Raiha had picked up at the store earlier in the week. As I ate, food mindlessly rising from bowl to mouth, my eyes were glazed, staring at the far wall. The gears were turning; yet, like wheels in snow, they were going nowhere. Instead, spinning in place, all their rotation served only to drive my thoughts deeper into place.

She yelled at me...

“Onii-chan? Are you ok?”

“Mmm.”

"Dad, Onii-chan is trying to eat air with his chopsticks..."

It was night.

It was morning.

Another day.

My mind hadn’t stopped fixating. The crack of her voice, like a whip. The sudden feeling of shock.

As I stepped out the door, breath lightly visible in the crisp air in front of me, I pulled my coat tighter about my shoulders. Descending the metal steps one at a time – clang clang clang – I raised my hands to my mouth and breathed on them. Then, I looked up at the bleak winter sky above me.

“I need to stop.”

The words escaped my lips without my consent, and hung in the cold air. As I walked, they seemed to dance around my head, calling my attention, whispering to me.

You went too far. You’re selfish – you just want her all to yourself. You’re not really looking out for her, are you? You’re just jealous of the time she’s spending on track – like a child . Of course she got mad; who wouldn’t get mad when they’re being treated like that? You’re just--

“Shut up,” I hissed, batting at the air around my head, driving the invisible thoughts away. “You're wrong. Go away.”

Looking up, I saw a woman walking her dogs staring at me.

Embarrassed, I fled.

The chattering words laughed at me, returning to a gaseous state and seeping back inside me.

Back into the cage.

I need more sleep. I’m hallucinating.

When I eventually reached the school and stepped in through the front door, my thoughts were still disjointed. Yet, there was at least one thing clear to me – I’d pushed too hard. I wasn’t in a position to tell Yotsuba what to do; it was her own life.

I’m not her tutor. I can’t force her to do anything.

Feeling uneasy, I quickly changed my footwear, and hurried to my classroom.

Another week passed.

Things got worse.

I’d seen her slowly deteriorating; the bags under her eyes were getting heavier by the day. I knew Yotsuba still wasn’t getting enough sleep, both from my own observations, and from asking Itsuki directly for information. We still met for lunch, and for studying; when we’d eventually seen each other that next day, she’d acted as though nothing had happened.

Not wanting to press the issue, and frankly wanting to forget it, I’d followed suit.

On Tuesday, I had planned to go straight to the library to help Yotsuba study; however, as I was leaving the classroom, I was apprehended by a teacher. After being given a spiel about all their various obligations, they forced me to go help photocopy exams. Irritated, I’d shot Yotsuba an email letting her know I’d be late.

I’d anticipated that the job would take me fifteen minutes or so.

Yet, it was almost a full hour later that I found myself sliding open the door to the library.

Fuming, I strode over to where I usually met Yotsuba, passing the shelves that separated the entrance from the tables. There was a part of me that was worried that she’d just left, but the fear was being suppressed by my red-hot anger at the teacher.

The irritation boiling in my gut instantly evaporated when I rounded the corner and abruptly stopped.

Yotsuba was hunched over the table, her textbooks splayed out around her in a semi-circle. Beneath her arms was what appeared to be her math textbook.

Her shoulders were quietly rising and falling.

She was asleep.

Silently, I crept my way over to the table and put down my bag. With her eyes closed, it seemed as though all of the weight Yotsuba had been carrying was finally visible on her face. Usually, she tried her best to hide it; but even in her sleep, there was a frown, a sight that caused my heart to hurt.

I slid into my seat… and then I rose again.

A scene was playing out in my mind's eye; namely, the day a month prior when Nino and I had forced Yotsuba to go and sleep for an hour. As I'd gone to rouse her, I'd hesitated at the door. There had been a part of me that had wanted to let her sleep -- to break my promise, and to not wake her up when she'd asked.

She didn't explicitly ask me to wake her up this time. So...

Unbuttoning my blazer, I slipped it over her shoulders, covering her. Keeping her warm. Then, I returned to my spot, and wordlessly pulled my textbooks from my bag.

She needs to sleep. I can’t make her do anything… but I’m not going to stop her from resting when I can.

As I opened a workbook, Yotsuba let out a noise and shifted. Then, she settled down again, and I sighed. Looking up at the ceiling, I pinched my nose.

"Well, I'm keeping my promise to Nino," I muttered. "Sort of, anyways."

She's gonna be upset.

About forty-five minutes later, as I was working through my biology textbook, I heard a groan across the table from me – and as I glanced up, I saw Yotsuba blearily raise her head.

“H...huh?” she said sleepily. “Uesugi-san…? Where did you come from?”

“The door,” I said, trying to contain my amusement.

“I didn’t see you come in,” she said, swaying slightly.

“I would imagine you didn’t, no.”

Yotsuba frowned in confusion, and sat up – and as she did, my blazer slid off her shoulders. Looking down quizzically, she picked it up off the floor and stared at it… and then her face erupted in red.

“Wait, Uesugi-san,” she said, mortification seeping into her voice. “Was I… was I…?”

I didn’t say anything, and Yotsuba lowered her head into her hands, letting out a long groan that sounded closer to a whine.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?!” she cried.

“I figured that if you were tired enough to fall asleep at school, you probably needed it,” I said, turning the page. “Besides, it’s not like that’s never happened to me before. When you're working hard like that, it's an occupational hazard.”

Leaning back, hands still on her face, Yotsuba let out a sound that was close to a squeak. “Oh, god. I’m so embarrassed. I… um…”

Peeking through her fingers at me, her cheeks scarlet, she seemed to hesitate a moment before asking.

“Was I drooling?”

Frowning, I put down my pen.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, at least there’s that,” she groaned, lowering her head to the table. “Ugh; I thought I was past this. I can’t be working my hardest if I’m falling asleep all the time.”

I paused, raising an eyebrow.

I guess she knows.

“So,” she continued, suddenly bolting up, “I need to just not fall asleep!”

...Oh my god.

“Yotsuba?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re an idiot,” I said, sighing. “You can’t fight biology through sheer willpower.”

Yotsuba paused, staring at me for a moment.

Then, she laughed; but it was a sharp laugh, one that I knew well at this point as one that masked her true feelings. There was something deeply uneasy about that laugh.

“I guess that’s true… but I’m gonna try!”

“I really don’t think you…"

Whispers, from deep in the cage. A feeling of ice, seeping out.

"...Actually, nevermind.”

Deep in my chest, there was a quiet chuckle, one that reverberated through me, causing my lips to tighten.

Shut up.

Yotsuba gave me a funny look, then shrugged her shoulders.

“Anyways… time to get back to it.”

"...Right."

The shadows under her eyes as deep as the darkness in a well at dusk, Yotsuba returned to her studies. For a moment, I watched her, silent. It was subtle, but there was a tremble to her hand. Something deeply unsteady, shaking under the weight it was forced to bear. An overwhelming urge took me then, a feeling calling for me to draw her close, to try and stabilize her. To once again provide a rock in harsh seas, to be a load-bearing support.

To give her shelter to rest.

I looked down at my textbook.

In my head, the echo of her angry words a week before flared.

That's not what she wants.

My pencil scratched on paper, and I stayed in my seat.

Silent.

By the tyranny of the clock, eventually we had to leave. By the tyranny of the clock, I was alone, walking the dark streets on my way home. My breath was visible in the uncharacteristically cold late January air. Shivering, I looked upwards at the clear dark night.

What should I be doing? How do I handle this?

Rudely, the stars didn't have an answer.

Cursing them, I continued home.

The next morning, we had gym class, and I had been relegated to the benches while the majority of the other boys in the class played basketball. "A substitute," or so they called it. Glancing over, I could see that Itsuki had been similarly jailed, and so I made my way over to talk with her. Despite being in the same class, I'd been so preoccupied with Yotsuba that I'd barely spoken to her after that first day, apart from using her as a means to indirectly check on her sister's health.

"Hey. How've you been doing?" I asked, settling onto the wooden bench next to her.

"So-so," she indicated, waving her hand. "Things... aren't the easiest at home right now. Father also hasn't found a new tutor for us yet to replace Takeda-san, so... I've been mostly studying on my own."

Aren't... the easiest at home?

"That's too bad," I said quietly, frowning. "It's been over a month and a half since he was fired. Is it that hard to find a tutor?"

"For some reason," Itsuki sighed, "Father insists that they have to be a student. I have absolutely no idea why... in the meantime, we've got a substitute tutor, which is Ebata-san. He's not very strict though, and so the sessions mostly devolve into distractions."

"Hmm," I mused. "That sounds frustrating."

"Yes," she murmured. Then, glancing at me with a hopeful face, "are you sure you won't reconsider helping me with studying?"

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "My hands are full with Yotsuba."

"That's about what I expected," she groaned, leaning back. "It was worth asking."

"Sorry," I repeated, a feeling of guilt beginning to grow in my chest.

"It's fine," she sighed. "I can imagine your hands are pretty full right now. How are things going on that front, by the way?"

"About how you'd expect," I muttered. "She's still on the path to completely destroying her health."

"Nino keeps telling her the same thing," Itsuki said, shaking her head, "and I'm guessing she's probably less nice about it than you are; not that you aren't without your moments of being a jerk. They actually got into a fight about it a few days ago, which is pretty rare for them. Normally Nino and Miku are the ones bickering."

I frowned. "That's news to me."

"Yeah, well, I don't think Yotsuba would be in a hurry to tell you about--"

"Nakano-san, you're in!"

Grimacing, Itsuki stood up, and the conversation was cut short. Morosely, I got up and returned to my own side of the gymnasium, narrowly dodging a stray volleyball.

She got into a fight with Nino?

Biting my lip, I settled down onto the bench, and waited to not be called into action.

I have a lot to think about.

For a week and a half, the thoughts tumbled and turned in my mind; I desperately wanted to come up with some way of relieving the tension of the competing forces that were pulling Yotsuba apart. Yet, try as I might, I couldn't think of anything. I couldn't let up on my end; if I did, Yotsuba would be at risk of failing the upcoming midterm. Yet, I also couldn't make her let up on track... and I also, apparently, couldn't make her rest.

I was stuck.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I was sitting on a set of stone stairs along the edge of the running track. I'd made plans with Yotsuba to go study at her apartment after practice, and so I was occupying my time flipping through my flashcards, and doing my best to ignore the glares that were being hurled my way long-distance by Eba.

Since she's not in the club anymore, she technically can't kick me out...

Even as I was studying, Itsuki's words were still echoing in my head. I hadn't been able to bring myself to push Yotsuba for details -- ultimately, it wasn't any of my business if she fought with her sisters. As the sun was setting in the distance, the practice was called to a halt, and the girls hit the showers. Minutes passed, and I was beginning to shiver in the cold air when I heard footsteps, and glanced behind me to see Yotsuba approaching, her hair damp under her ribbon.

"Hey," she said, her drooping shoulders screaming of her exhaustion. "Ready to go?"

"Sure," I said, slipping my flashcards into my pocket. "I think the bus doesn't come for a while, though. We just missed it."

"Oh... I mean, I could call Ebata-san to give us a lift. After all, he is our chauffeur, and..."

She trailed off at the uncomfortable look on my face, and then sighed.

"Ok, let's wait."

Looking down, I patted the stone step. After a moment's hesitation, Yotsuba came and sat down next to me. There was a gap between us, centimetres separating our shoulders.

"How's track been going?" I asked quietly.

"Good!" Yotsuba said, perking up slightly. "I'm not quite where I want to be, and there have been some... small setbacks, but since the meet I've definitely gotten faster."

"That's impressive," I said, my eyes trained on her. "You were already really fast."

"Well, you know," she laughed awkwardly, gazing out at the track. "There are levels to these things, right? Like... when you're in middle school, maybe you think you're the fastest there is. Then, you get to high school, and you realize that actually, there's a whole world of runners out there who are faster than you... and you have to work harder to try and catch up."

I nodded wordlessly.

"So, y'know... there's always room to grow, right?"

"True," I murmured.

"It's kind of like that with studying too," Yotsuba mused. "Maybe when you're a kid, you think you know everything... until eventually you realize you know nothing. "

"Yeah," I said quietly, a flash of black hair appearing in my mind's eye... and my chest ached. "It's true. You never realize how much of an idiot you are until you learn how much you don't know,"

"Mhmm," she nodded. Settling back onto the step, she pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders. "She might be a bit of a hardass, but I'm grateful that Eba-san is still coming to track practice, and driving us on. I think without her there, we wouldn't be training nearly as hard."

I could feel my jaw tighten, and I looked away from Yotsuba, and out over the field. Deep in my stomach, the acidic feeling that I'd come to know too well was bubbling.

"Is that so?"

Either she didn't notice the strained tone that had entered my voice, or she was pretending not to.

"Yep," Yotsuba yawned. "It's a lot of work though. Finding time to study has been hard... but I do what I've gotta do! Especially with... with..."

Her yawn grew so large that it interrupted her speech. Embarrassed, she covered her mouth with both hands, and turned to look at me with red cheeks.

"Um... sorry about that."

"Uh-huh," I said flatly, raising an eyebrow. "Yotsuba, how much sleep did you get last night?"

"H-huh? Um... about four hours, I think?"

"How about the night before?"

Yotsuba frowned. "I'm not sure I like where you're going with this, Uesugi-san."

I could feel the alarm bells going off in my head... but they were shut down as quickly as they'd sprung into action. Deep in my chest, the beast was growling; but, the deep rumble it was letting out was different from how it had been in the past. Before, it had seemed as though it were desperately attempting to escape in order to achieve freedom.

Now it sounded like it wanted to attack.

To attack... what?

"I'm not trying to go anywhere with this," I said, shrugging. "I just worry about you."

"Oh," Yotsuba said, her face reddening slightly. "Um... I see."

"I'm not going to lie, though, I don't think what you're doing is sustainable."

Yotsuba tensed up, but I continued.

"I've told you that before. If you want to achieve all the things you want to achieve, you need to make sure you're allowing sleep and recuperation to be part of the equation. It's like with a phone; if you only ever allow it to charge up to fifteen percent, you're not going to be able to get that much usage out of it, right?"

"I know that!" Yotsuba snapped. "Uesugi-san, I know what I'm doing!"

I froze -- and then the alarm bells that had seemed so distant in my mind were suddenly blaring full strength.

Idiot. You said you were going to drop it.

My heart dropped in my chest.

"I know you know," I said quietly, trying to push down the panic that was suddenly rising in my stomach. "I just wanted to remind you."

Idiot!

There was an uncomfortable silence between us... and then Yotsuba sighed. "Right... that makes sense."

I looked her over; at the shadows that were deep under her eyes, the way she was half-swaying on the spot as she stared at me. The gauntness of her face, the pallor of her skin. My heart clenched with worry... and I shook my head.

"Sorry for bringing it up," I murmured. "I know you wanted me to drop it. My bad."

"I'm also sorry for snapping at you again," Yotsuba said back to me, hunching over. "I just..."

"It's fine," I replied, not quite looking at her. "Don't worry about it."

"Mm."

Don't worry about it...

Biting my lip, I frowned. There was a large part of me that was now cursing my years of isolation, because I consequently had absolutely no idea what to do. It was becoming more and more apparent to me, even more-so than it had been before the finals, that Yotsuba's path was absolutely one of self-destruction. Additionally, since the winter break, there had been something fundamentally off with her.

Maybe it's just the sleep deprivation...

Turning back to look at her, I tilted my head.

I think the right word to describe how she's been...

"Anyways," Yotsuba laughed awkwardly, "um... are you ready to go? If, you know... you still want to."

"Yeah, of course," I said, rising from the steps and grabbing my bag. "I'm not going to back out over something stupid like this."

Desperate. She's absolutely desperate.

"Let's go."

We stood and walked across the school grounds, and out the gate to the nearest bus stop. As the sun set, and we waited in the dying dusk, my eyes lingered on Yotsuba; on her red hair, and her deep blue eyes. The smallness of her frame, holding up the weight of her ambitions and her dreams.

There had been something off about her since the winter break...

No. No, since before then.

Since the track meet. Since she'd left me in that hallway, and that strange distance had opened up between us.

Absolutely single-minded desperation... and I don't know why.

Notes:

Hi. Yes, I'm alive.

So, some transparency. As some of you may know, when I’m not writing fanfic, I’m a graduate student. In addition to writer's block, for the last few months I’ve been desperately working on wrapping up research papers before applying for postdoctoral positions, which I am now in the process of doing. Any of you who are in academia will know… I don’t have a life right now. I’ve worked on this chapter in 20 word bursts at a time over the last five months; the majority of the chapter was only able to be finished in the last few weeks or so.

Unfortunately, things aren’t going to get better soon, but I promise you – there will always be more chapters coming. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just getting there slower than I or you probably want.

In the meantime, while you wait, you can check out the (NSFW) relay fic I’m part of – “Sengoku Shuffle: C.R.U.B.B.L.E.”. Some other authors who write for TQQ, like bobalon ("Everything") and Miimbot ("Marching Forward") among others, are also participants. Since I’m (mostly) not the one writing the chapters, it updates somewhat quicker. It’s a little bit spicy, a fair bit smutty, and a whole lot of crazy, but it’s a good time all around. It predominantly follows Miku, but Yotsuba is a very important character. That said, I did write chapter nine, so… go have a look. Or don't. It's up to you!

Finally, as you can tell from the title, this chapter has been split into two parts. I was really frustrated with the pacing, and I eventually decided that it worked better as two chapters. So, there will be three more chapters in this arc. Part II will release in about a week.

Chapter 39: On The Verge (Part II)

Chapter 39
On The Verge
(Part II)

As I stepped out of the Nakano apartment, the rain continued to fall, as it had for hours.

Grey clouds filled the expanse above my head, a steady drizzle collapsing from their heights and splattering on the pavement. Yet, the blanket of water vapour that enveloped the city was invisible; shadow hid the breadth of the coverage, the only illumination the thin filtered light of the moon. There was something tenuous about it; as though the slightest tremor would snuff it out, casting my world into darkness.

The thoughts of Yotsuba, and of her motivations, and of her desires, had followed me around for the rest of the evening, distracting me as we worked. With each question she'd asked, with each subject that refused to stick, I had been drawn in by her shadowed eyes... and my clenching chest.

It hadn't been the most productive session.

Breathing on my hands to warm them up as I walked towards the bus stop, I shook my head.

I feel lost.

"Uesugi!"

Head snapping back as I turned towards the large glass doors behind me, the hood drawn up on my jacket, I was startled to see Nino standing at the entrance, an inscrutable look on her face.

"Hey," I said hesitantly, returning to the shelter of the lobby. "Uh... what can I help you with?"

"It's..."

Nino seemed to struggle with her words; it seemed, somehow, as though speaking were physically difficult for her, a corporeal manifestation of the roadblocks inside of her.

"It's about Yotsuba," she finally choked out.

Silently, I waited.

"I... don't know if she told you about this," Nino said, biting her lip, "but, uh... we had a bit of a fight the other day. Well... more than a bit of a fight. We kind of ended up yelling at each other."

"I see," I said, frowning slightly.

"A lot," she added.

"...I see," I repeated. There was an awkward moment of silence between us, where I wasn't quite sure what to say. I already knew about the fight, of course, but only from Itsuki; Yotsuba hadn't said a word to me.

"Anyways," Nino said, clearing her throat. "I wanted to talk to you about what she's doing. It's not healthy, you know? I'm pretty sure she's going to end up putting herself in the hospital."

"I agree," I said. "I've said this to her as well, repeatedly."

"Yeah, well, I did ask you to try and stop her. You're not doing a great job of that, Uesugi!"

I felt my eyebrow twitch. "I'm trying my best. Every time I press the issue, she snaps at me; and since I don't particularly want that, I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this without having her blow up at me."

"Well, figure it out faster!"

"I'll get right on that, your highness," I replied drily.

"It's strange," Nino said, shaking her head and ignoring my sarcasm. "Yotsuba's never really been the type to get mad at people. Well, maybe a bit in middle school... but not for quite a while."

I frowned. Yotsuba used to snap at people in middle school? If you'd told me that a month and a half ago, I wouldn't have believed it.

"I think," Nino continued quietly, "that track club isn't good for her. That captain... what's her name? Ebi-something? She's kind of crazy. I think she's a bad influence on Yotsuba."

"You're definitely right," I nodded, "but I also don't want to discourage her from doing something she loves... and despite all of Eba's flaws, Yotsuba does really love running."

"Maybe..." Nino said, doubt in her voice. "Anyways, I wanted to pick your brain."

"What else can we do, except continue to keep watch over her, and try to stop her from going too far beyond her limits?" I asked.

"An intervention, or something," Nino shrugged. "I don't know! I've never dealt with anything like this before either, Uesugi! Don't make me do all the work here, idiot. We can't just leave her to self-destruct like this."

I felt my eye twitch again, but I just shrugged.

"I'll think about it," I said quietly. "We can maybe touch base later on, and see what we can do."

"Fine," Nino sighed. "I'll hold you to that though."

"That's fine. I'm not particularly inclined to leave Yotsuba hanging out to dry."

"Good!" Nino said, perhaps slightly louder than she'd meant. "Uh, I mean... good. I'll still be keeping an eye on you though. I still don't know how I feel about you being in her life either."

"Thanks," I muttered drily.

"But..." she said, her voice strung out as though what she was saying was painful, "I'll admit that you're better than that... Ebi, or whatever."

"Eba."

"Whatever."

"I don't think I'm happy about that," I sighed. "That's a really low bar to clear."

"You should be happy I'm complimenting you!" Nino complained. "Anyways, I'm going to go back up; it's cold down here. Make sure you think of something, Uesugi!"

"Sure," I said. "A kind of... reverse Operation Twintail."

Nino frowned. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Don't worry about it. Goodnight."

Giving me an odd look, Nino retreated to the elevators... and I exited the building, out into the drizzling rain.

How do I get Yotsuba to slow down?

Even after I returned home, and sank into our bath, the answer refused to reveal itself to me.

My preoccupation continued through the weekend, an admixture of guilt and worry that was all-consuming. The calendar had passed over into February, and the winter semester's midterms were fast approaching, as was the track team's friendly meet. When I went back to the Nakano apartment a few days later, it was obvious from every facet of her being that the strange desperation that had taken hold of Yotsuba was continuing to grow stronger by the day.

I need to do something soon.

A dangerous thought, it turned out.

Monday afternoon, as the bell rang signalling the end of classes for the day, I was apprehended by a teacher, and forced to help with printing off a practice quiz we would be taking the following morning. Irritatingly, I was beginning to notice a pattern, and there was a small part of me that was wondering if the teachers were using my status as top of the grade to illegitimately foist work onto me; after all, it didn't particularly matter if I saw the quiz in advance.

"Maybe I'm the one who's sleep deprived," I grumbled to myself as I pushed a door open with my hip. "I'm getting paranoid."

Carrying the papers down the hallway, the linoleum floor squeaking underfoot, I turned a corner-- and then flinched back as I nearly collided with Eba, who was rounding the bend at high speed.

"Hey!" she growled, recognizing me. "Watch where you're going, nerd."

"Don't run in the halls," I replied, my voice flat. "I know you don't care if you get suspended, but you'll hurt somebody else."

"Don't tell me what to do," she grumbled. "My reaction time is perfect. I wouldn't hit anyone."

I ground my teeth. There was something about seeing her face, as thoughts of Yotsuba were still perilously flying about in my head, that lit a spark in the depths of my stomach. There were innumerable elements that were stirring together, fusing into the flurry of emotions that were bubbling within me. The situation with Yotsuba had me on edge in so many ways -- and Eba was the catalyst. It may not have been entirely her fault; but it also wasn't entirely not her fault.

Yotsuba wouldn't listen to me. She wouldn't even hear talk of taking her foot off the gas.

It was a long shot, but...

Maybe, against all odds, Eba would see reason.

The warning bells were going off in my head. Instinct, screaming at me to stop, to take the more cautious road; to not step in, to not intervene. To let this chance go by.

Once again, the beast's roar silenced them.

Overwhelming.

"Actually," I said quietly, ice in my voice, "this is perfect. I need to talk to you. Come with me."

"Huh?" Eba scowled, raising an eyebrow. "Why the hell would I go anywhere with a loser like you? I need to get to practice."

Ignoring her, I began to walk towards the entrance of a nearby abandoned classroom. Then, turning back to look at her as I slid the door open, I frowned.

"Are you scared, fearless captain? Ah, sorry-- former captain."

I could see the various emotions crossing her face: rage, consternation, disgust... and also, yes, perhaps a little fear. I wasn't quite sure what she thought a bean sprout like myself could do, but the emotion was unmistakably there.

"Screw you, twig," she scowled. "I'm not afraid of anything."

Following me into the classroom, she sat on a desk and crossed her arms. If eyes could kill, I would probably have died months ago; but I would especially have been dead with the look that was being fired my way as I closed the door and put down the pile of printed quizzes.

"Alright, spill. What do you want?" she asked.

"I need you to lay the pressure off Yotsuba. I know you're not technically the track team's captain anymore... but we both know that, de facto, you still are. Anyone looking at her can see that she's obviously overdoing it, and--"

"I refuse," Eba said flatly.

"At least hear me out first!" I snapped.

"Why should I? I know what you're going to say already," she sighed, flapping one hand in the air like she was batting away a fly. "I know because I know what a spineless nerd you are. You're going to give me a whole schpiel about how she's overworking herself, and she's neglecting her studies, and that poor precious Nakano-san needs to dial it back, or else she's going to break, right?"

"That's--"

"I refuse," Eba repeated, shaking her hand. "No."

"Do you just not care if she ends up overworking and collapsing?" I hissed. "It's blatantly obvious that she's reaching her limits."

"She won't," she said breezily, flapping her hand dismissively again. "It's in the nature of sports to overcome your limits. You have to push beyond; and you won't ever know what your limits are if you don't press up against them."

"But--"

"Listen, nerd," she growled, slipping off the desk and walking up to me, her eyes uncomfortably close to mine. "Do you really think she's that weak?"

"I--"

"Do you?"

For a moment, my brain stalled, overwhelmed by the face taking up an unpleasant majority of my vision. Then, it kicked back into gear, and I frowned. "Seriously? That's cliche as hell. 'Do you really think she's that weak'-- this isn't some shounen anime. In real life, human beings have limits to what their bodies can do, and she's reaching hers. I don't want her to end up in the hospital because she passed out."

"She won't," Eba repeated. "Nakano-san is doing exactly as much as she needs to in order to achieve her dreams."

Then, she grinned maliciously. "It would probably be easier for her, though, if she didn't have some annoying mosquito knocking around dragging her off to stare at books for hours on end."

Even though I knew she was only saying things to goad me... it worked. I could feel my blood beginning to boil, hot and acidic as it ran through my veins, carrying with it the adrenaline that was telling my brain to go into a fight or flight response.

She was saying the words that I'd already been saying to myself. Words whispered in the depths of the night as I watched the shadows dancing on the ceiling, echoed in the lonely expanse of the darkness.

Somehow, when spoken aloud by someone else, they carried more weight.

My fears, made manifest.

"You're tearing her down," I said, my voice subconsciously rising. "I said this before, and I'll say it again -- you don't care about Yotsuba's health, and you don't care about her dreams, either. Yotsuba wants to succeed at track, but she also wants to become a top-tier student. She may be a lot closer to one of those dreams than the other; but if you actually cared about her, you'd be helping her try to achieve both those dreams in a healthy way."

Eba's eyes narrowed.

"Instead," I continued, fuming, "you're just driving her on relentlessly. Why? Because you don't care."

"You're an idiot," Eba said flatly, the icy rage in her voice unmistakable, yet tempered with a faint hint of smugness.

"Excuse you?!"

"Clearly, your grades aren't due to intelligence," she said, retreating to the desk and hopping back onto it. "You're too dumb for that."

"You have nothing to say in response, so now you're just insulting me?" I said in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?!"

She's freaking unbelievable! I didn't think she'd be this hard to get through to...

"Maybe dumb isn't the right word," Eba mused, ignoring me completely. "Though you are a moron. No, I think the right word is that you're naïve."

I scowled. "I'm not--"

"This is it, Uesugi," Eba said definitely, rime ice coating her tongue, hoarfrost spreading across her lips. Rising from the bench, she took her head. "This is what an athlete dreams of -- the chance to go out to fight and to die for your craft. To pay the toll."

Walking to the window, she stared out at the track down below. "We dream of paying the toll in blood, and in sweat, and in tears. This is what it means to compete."

Shaking her head, she turned back around to face me. "If she wants to fight at the highest levels, this is the bare minimum price she'll need to pay. Nakano-san knows this; she knows that the mountain is high, and the ascent is never free, no matter her talent."

Then, she raised her arm, and pointed at me -- J'accuse.

"You, though... you have no idea what it means to compete athletically. You just fundamentally don't understand. You're too much of a spineless coward to appreciate the hell that Nakano-san is putting herself through out there; all you see is the price she's paying, and you have no appreciation for the reward."

"I..."

I paused, unsure of what to say.

I... maybe...

My mind was suddenly awhirl; the emotional turmoil caused by Eba's words, coupled with the creeping self-doubt that was beginning to whisper in my ear, was causing a turbulent cacophony inside of me. I felt like I was stalling out; unsure of what to say, I froze.

There was a long moment of silence.

Then, getting up from the table, Eba shook her head in disgust, and began walking to the door.

"I think we're done here," she said icily. "You may care about Nakano-san the person, I'll give you that -- but you don't give a shit about Nakano-san the athlete."

Then, after throwing my own words from months prior back into my face, Eba was gone-- and I was left alone, shell-shocked, with only questions and a pile of printed tests in the room with me.

I... think I may have just made a mistake.

Slowly, painfully, I got up and gathered the papers. As I left the room and delivered the pile of quizzes to the staff room, a growing feeling of unease began to bubble up in my stomach. Perhaps it had been there all along; and as the alarm bells re-emerged to full strength, and the roar of the beast quieted to a mortified whimper, I could feel my chest clenching.

"Idiot," I whispered to myself, my hands clenching, knuckles growing white. "In five years, you haven't gotten any smarter."

It felt as though I'd thrown a punch at a ball tethered to the ceiling, striking hard in hopes of somehow snapping the rope by which it was suspended.

But, I'd failed, and only set it swinging.

It was only a matter of time before I was struck back.

That matter of time was a week.

In the days following my conversation with Eba, I'd seen Yotsuba's state deteriorate even further; and part of me wondered if Eba had increased the difficulty of her training sessions in response to what I'd said. Her way, maybe, of attacking me through Yotsuba.

The anger that coursed through me at that thought was also tinged with guilt; I was, even if indirectly, responsible for what was happening to her. I'd kicked a hornet's nest, and Yotsuba was paying the price. I'd been so focused on trying to lighten her burden, that I'd caused it to increase.

Idiot!

Yotsuba also seemed more... reclusive. The strange distance between us, which had sprouted since the winter break, seemed to quickly grow even larger in the intervening days.

Quietly, I tried to convince myself that it was due to her exhaustion.

I was wrong.

A week after my argument with Eba, Yotsuba and I were studying in the library. The winter midterms, once so far away, were now looming ever closer; there was only a week to go until the writ dropped.

Yotsuba was struggling. Badly.

Despite all her efforts, her grades on the practice tests I'd been giving her were slipping. She had simply failed the most recent mathematics exam I'd prepared for her a few days prior; and, it hadn't been particularly close. As she'd written the test, she'd seemed distracted, her eyes constantly flitting away from the paper, and away from me. As time had gone on, she'd also grown more and more frustrated.

That was growing to be a recurring theme.

Things came to a head as the clock began to tick closer and closer to six. As we worked through yet another math problem, as repetition after dull repetition reared its head, Yotsuba's eyes began to flicker. Her pen slipped out of her grasp, and she slowly lowered her head to the table. From her lips, a long, low groan.

"You ok?" I murmured, my eyes narrowing.

"...Yeah," she said quietly, her ribbon drooping onto the table like a withered flower. "I'm fine."

My eyes traced over her; the droop of her ribbons, the raggedness of her breathing, the slight tremor of her hands. The droop of her shoulders, which suddenly seemed so narrow and fragile; far too delicate to hold all the weight which had been thrust upon them by their owner.

I wonder if she's aware of it.

Taking a breath, I glanced down at my textbook.

Aware that she's shaking.

"Sure..." I said, the doubt evident in my voice.

There was a long, awkward silence between us; though I wasn't sure if it was awkward because of a mutual feeling of not knowing what to say, or if it was simply my insecurities projecting themselves onto the wordless void. Perhaps Yotsuba, head between her arms, was entirely content in the silence.

Maybe she was too tired to care.

"So," I said, trying to find something to say -- something to distract from the misery that was her preparations for the exams. "How are the preparations for the track meet going?"

Yotsuba sat up; despite the exhaustion that was etched into her face, her eyes were lit up at the mention of running. I could feel a strange burning feeling in my stomach; in a soft, near unnoticeable way, it ached.

...I see.

"I'm working super hard!" she said, rousing herself enough to pump her fist. "Eba-san is running us ragged, but I'm learning a lot!"

"Is that so?" I asked, glancing down at my textbook -- and hoping that my quick detour with my eyes had been enough to stop Yotsuba noticing their automatic narrowing at the mention of her captain. As my thoughts wandered back to our argument the previous week, I could feel my blood beginning to boil again, a quiet rage that was catalyzed all the further by the strong undercurrent of my guilty conscience.

Don't let her control you.

"Yeah!" she continued unabated, "I learned about this new stretch the other day; it's supposed to help with faster muscle recovery, so I've been trying it a lot. It helps a bit, because I'm so sore after practice. Honestly, Eba-san teaching it to me was such a life-saver."

Internally, I winced. Then, I looked back up at her, and forced myself to smile.

"That's great to hear," I said. "You did amazingly at the last meet, so the fact that you're improving even on that, well... that's pretty incredible."

"Hehe... thanks," Yotsuba grinned, rubbing the back of her head. "Though..."

"Though?"

Looking past me, Yotsuba got a faraway look in her eyes. For a moment, it almost felt as if she weren't seeing me at all, and her eyes were turned inwards. I wasn't sure what exactly it was, but there was a strangely sad look on her face.

"I still have a long way to go. The road to becoming the person I want to be... I'm still at the starting line, Uesugi-san. There are a lot of things, when I think back on that track meet, that I'm unsatisfied with. Unsatisfied with myself."

Ah. She's talking about the relay.

"Don't worry," I said, shaking my head. "The relay wasn't your fault -- you still had an amazing result."

Yotsuba stared at me blankly for a moment... and then a strange smile came across her face. It wasn't that it didn't reach her eyes; it was that it didn't even feel like it had the strength to fully occupy her lips. She looked at her textbook, the painful smile still on her lips.

"Yeah... the relay."

I frowned. That... was a deeply weird response.

"That said," Yotsuba said, looking back up at me, "I am pretty frustrated."

"Why?"

"Lots of things, but... my time has plateaued over the last few weeks," she said, her cheek sinking into her hand. As she spoke, the painful smile slipped away from her face, and she frowned. "I've tried all sorts of things, but I just can't seem to break through that wall. If anything, I'm falling from my peak; over the last couple of days I've slipped by about a quarter of a second."

"I... see."

"Eba-san has been working on it with me," Yotsuba mused, her eyebrows furrowing, "but nothing seems to be working. I just keep slipping."

"Hmm," I said noncommittally.

Keep your mouth shut, Fuutarou. Keep your damn mouth shut.

"It's frustrating," she repeated, sighing, "but all I can do is work harder, and keep trying to tackle the problem. The balancing act is tough, though; I feel like I'm starting to lose my grip on the material for the midterm now."

"It is true that you've been doing worse on the practice quizzes I've been writing for you," I said quietly. "You've been forgetting a lot of the things that I thought were embedded pretty well from before the break. You know, foundational stuff."

"Well, uh," Yotsuba said, suddenly getting flustered, "I just... I look at the page, and my brain goes blank! It's only recently, so I'm sure it'll be fine!"

"It's probably the sleep deprivation," I said drily. "You're working too hard, and burning the candle at both ends -- if you do that for too long, memory issues are inevitable."

Then, my eyes widened slightly.

Oh. Shit, I said it.

"It's fine. I'm fine!" Yotsuba insisted, her eyes narrowing slightly. "This is just happening because I'm not trying hard enough. To succeed, you've gotta struggle, Uesugi-san! I'm not so special that I can avoid having to work hard!"

Her tone was light, but in the months I'd known her, I'd grown accustomed to variations in her speech; I'd spent hours upon hours listening to her voice, to every treble, to every change in the texture of her words.

I could hear the bristling hidden behind her smile.

She was upset.

Warning bells rang in my head, loud and clear and decisive.

The beast suppressed them all.

It knew what it wanted.

"While that's true, there's also such a thing as overdoing it, Yotsuba. I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but--"

"You do," Yotsuba confirmed.

I felt my eye twitch. "--but, there's a limit to the amount you can skip out on sleep and rest before it kicks your ass. I should know; I tried to do the exact same thing as you five years ago. It didn't work."

"I know what I'm doing, Uesugi-san, I've said this before! I understand that rest is important, but I can't afford to be taking a ton of breaks -- I'm too far behind! I'm already failing! If I want to succeed, I have to be always working. Always!"

Her voice had suddenly started to rise, and by the end it was clear that she was desperately holding herself back from yelling.

I could feel the frustration boiling up in my chest, threatening to spill out. It was blatantly obvious to everyone else around her that Yotsuba was on a knife's edge; one wrong push would send her tumbling into the depths. The fact she couldn't see it herself was driving me crazy.

Enough is enough. I need to keep my promise.

"I don't get it," I said, forcing my own voice to stay flat and calm, trying to mask the deep-seated frustration and anxiety that were bubbling my chest, frothing and writhing. "I understand you need to work hard; I was in that same situation, especially after I started middle school and couldn't rely on Takebayashi anymore. One of the things I learned from that time, though, is that you can't sacrifice sleep long-term. If you do, you start losing all the benefits of your studying. It's not efficient, and you lose your health as well."

As I spoke, I visually saw Yotsuba flinch at the mention of my ex-girlfriend; but, the implications of her reaction didn't register in my mind. I was too focused on trying desperately to get through to her.

"You don't need to push this hard -- and it's coming back to bite you in the ass, Yotsuba. Learn from my mistakes!"

"Pacing yourself worked for you because you're not an idiot, Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said, gritting her teeth. "I'm different. I can't afford to stop. If I stop for even a moment, I'm finished."

"Wrong," I growled, shaking my head. "I told you, I was an idiot. I couldn't study worth a damn. I had to learn. It took me something like six months just to get to a reasonable level; and I wasn't able to do it by myself. I had a tutor the whole time."

"It's been six months," Yotsuba said, clenching her fist on the table -- her voice was trembling. "Six months, and... I'm losing everything, Uesugi-san! I'm slipping, and slipping, and I'm terrified that it's not going to get any better! It feels like I'm just smashing my head against the wall; and the only way forward is through."

"I'm confident you can pass," I said. "Especially if you get some rest. The baseline knowledge is there!"

"I. Can't. Afford. To!" Yotsuba said, gritting her teeth. I could see the frustration emanating from her, from every pore. Looking up at me with her shadowed eyes, umbra whispering stories of sleepless nights and anxious morns, the pain and fear and sheer desperation were etched into her face as clear as glass.

"I--"

"I'm going to fail, Uesugi-san", she said, her voice cracking; I could tell she was on the verge of tears. "I can't stop. I can't stop! If I stop, if I breathe, I'm not going to make it! I can't let that happen. Not again. Not again!"

 

She bit her lip, hard, and looked away from me, and I felt a deep, reverberating pang in my heart. The beast in the cage caterwauled.

A war cry or a lament, I couldn't tell.

The irritation I'd been feeling melted away in a moment, and a huge part of me wanted to reach out and give her a hug.

To tell her that everything would be alright.

"Listen," she said, her voice suddenly soft. "I need to keep going. For... for my own sake. So... I can't let anyone stop me. Not even you, Uesugi-san."

I felt my heart freeze.

"I'm not trying to stop you," I insisted, shaking my head, my voice rising. "I'm trying to--"

"You are. You are!" Yotsuba said, violently shaking her head as well. "You want me to take my foot off the pedal, and take it easy! If I do that, though, I'm done for!"

"I don't, I just want--"

"I know you do!" Yotsuba cried. "Eba-san told me, Uesugi-san. She told me what you asked her."

It was as though I'd been hit by a truck. Staring at her, shocked, my brain tried desperately to try and piece together what she'd just said.

"...What?"

"She told me that you asked her to lay off my training!" she said, and I could see her beginning to shake. "Why?! This means so much to me -- why would you try and hold me back, Uesugi-san?!"

I couldn't do anything but stare. My mind was both racing a mile a minute, and completely stalled out at the same time. It had occurred to me that I'd made a mistake, and it had occurred to me that Eba had increased Yotsuba's training in response to my request.

Somehow, it hadn't occurred to me that my request had been conveyed to Yotsuba... while she hadn't said a word.

"That's not what I was trying to-- I wasn't trying to hold you back. That's not what that was at all!"

"Then explain it!" Yotsuba said; and as she spoke, I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes, the frustration and desperation and weeks upon weeks upon weeks of sleep deprivation finally taking a hammer and chisel and smashing apart her mask. "You wanted her to cut back on helping me!"

Then... then the distance, over the last week...

"I just wanted you to be able to rest," I said, my voice cracking. "I was worried about you, and I was trying to figure out..."

"Uesugi-san," Yotsuba said, her voice breaking as well, "that's for me to decide. I... I need to decide what my relationship is with Eba-san, and how hard and long I train. I need to decide where my limits are."

"I... I..." I stuttered, stunned.

"I need to do it myself."

Yotsuba's definitive tone, trembling yet firm, cut through the room. It was the sort of decisiveness that I'd rarely heard from her; the depths of her exhaustion and frustration and hurt were driving her to clarity.

It just wasn't the clarity I'd hoped for.

"I..."

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. I tried to identify and pacify the emotions that were suddenly erupting in my chest, a seething cauldron that was quickly rising and threatening to overcome the laughable resistance its container provided.

Guilt. Frustration. Anger. Guilt.

Guilt.

I took another breath, and opened my eyes.

I don't want to fight with Yotsuba. Anybody else, fine.

Not with her.

"I did it because I was worried about you," I said softly, "and you don't see what you're doing to yourself. You're destroying yourself, Yotsuba. Every day, I watch you crumble a little bit more; and it hurts. I know exactly how you're feeling right now, because I was in your exact position."

Yotsuba was staring at me wordlessly. Her lip was trembling.

"I acted," I said -- and then I caught myself, because my voice was shaking too. "I acted because I don't want what happened to me to happen to you. I acted because I know that if nobody stops you, you won't stop... with all the consequences that will follow from that."

"So... what?" Yotsuba asked quietly. "Was this supposed to be an... an intervention or something, Uesugi-san?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "If I thought you were at the level for... no. I wouldn't have done it alone if I thought..."

Then, I trailed off.

There was a long moment of silence. It lingered, hanging between us like a thread... waiting to be cut.

My mind finally caught up with my actions... and finished processing.

"No, it was," I whispered. "It was an intervention -- because if I don't stop you, nobody will, and you'll end up in a hospital bed."

Then, closing my eyes, a flash of black hair crossed my mind's eye.

I shuddered.

Was this how she felt?

Is this... how I made her feel?

The silence stretched again... and then Yotsuba severed the string.

"If that's what you want," she said, beginning to shake her head, "then don't go behind my back, Uesugi-san."

"I tried!" I said, my voice rising in quiet anguish. "I tried, Yotsuba! You wouldn't listen, though, and I--"

I froze as I realized that the tears had broken their embankments, and were slowly rolling down Yotsuba's face.

It didn't look as though she'd even realized.

The look on her face was impossible to read -- and yet also painfully, horrifyingly easy.

"Don't go behind my back, Uesugi-san," she whispered. "Please."

"I..."

Yotsuba closed her eyes, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

Then, she stood, and grabbed her bag.

"...Yotsuba?" I asked questioningly. Beseechingly.

"I'm going home," she murmured, beginning to put her textbooks away.

"B-But..."

"I'm going home," she repeated, her voice breaking.

Zipping her bag shut, she rose... and then she was gone.

As she passed the bookshelf, I saw her begin to rub her eyes. What had once been a small overflow would soon become the oncoming tide -- inevitable, overwhelming.

As the sound of the library door closing echoed, I thought I could hear the sound of a soft sob underlying it.

A resounding click, as it shut.

Then, I was alone.

Completely, and utterly, alone.

Wordlessly, I sat -- and stared blankly at the spot where, a moment ago, Yotsuba had been sitting.

Uncomprehending.

I felt numb.

The silence permeated the room, gaseous as it muffled everything. Time was still, my eyes not straying an inch from the empty chair. Within me, there was no movement; no feeling, no response. My mind, intellectually, was equally frozen. Inertia was prevailing, latching everything into place.

Minutes passed.

Hours, maybe.

Eventually, slowly, I slid back in my chair.

Deep in my chest, quietly, there was a sound from the cage.

A pained whimper.

With my eyes still wide as saucer plates, I reached into my pocket, and slowly pulled out my phone.

Loading my contacts, I hesitated for a moment... and then began to type.

An email.

<I messed up.>

Send.

<I need your help.>

Send.

<Please.>

<Itsuki.>

<I'm begging you.>

<Help me.>

I pressed send.

Then, the cage exploded.

Notes:

Oops.

Chapter 40: He Wavers

Chapter 40:
He Wavers

"Uesugi-kun, have I told you recently that you're an idiot?"

"Incessantly," I replied drily.

"Good," Itsuki said, popping a hard candy into her mouth. "Let me do it again -- you're an idiot."

We were sitting on a bench on the roof of the school, grey cloud cover overhead giving the expanse of concrete a deeply gloomy feel. A harsh wind had picked up in the last ten minutes, whistling through the metal fencing that guarded the edge from the vicious drop beyond.

Leaning back against the wiring, I closed my eyes. Unprompted, Yotsuba's face swam in front of me... and, not for the first time, I felt sick.

"That said," Itsuki sighed, "Yotsuba's an even bigger idiot. Things should never have reached this point. You both should never have let things reach this point."

" Mm."

My eyes still closed, I could feel my chest clenching... and from deep within my core, the quiet acidic snake of anxiety began to slither its way up my spine once again.

Since Yotsuba had left the library the previous day, it hadn't truly gone away. Even in the moments when I'd been distracted, it had simply slid into hiding in the shadows. The warmth of her smile wasn't there to disperse my fears ; consequently, the darkness in the corners of my body had become its refuge, deadly strands of adrenaline and cortisol whispering wordless threats to me .

I t was lunch now, and I wasn't at my usual table.

Somehow, going there felt like too much.

I'd emailed her when I got home. Apologizing. Trying, in my fumbling way, to explain myself.

Yotsuba hadn't responded.

When I'd read my emails again in the cold light of day, I'd cursed myself -- because they'd not conveyed any of what I'd really wanted to say. They ' d felt like platitudes, and meaningless defenses... and I'd felt nauseous.

"Uesugi-kun? Are you listening to me?"

"Sorry," I said, opening my eyes and focusing on Itsuki. "I just... I zoned out for a second there. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that you both needed to stop this way earlier," Itsuki said, pouting slightly at my dissociation. "Things should never have reached this point, or gotten this bad. She should never have driven herself to this state, and you should have put your foot down weeks ago -- and to her face, Uesugi-kun, not behind her back."

"I--"

"You were enabling her," Itsuki said pointedly. "I'm not saying most of the blame rests with you, or even the majority of the blame. This is probably seventy... no, eighty percent on Yotsuba. That said, you need to take responsibility for your own part in this."

I stared at her for a long moment.

Then, I sighed, closed my eyes, and nodded.

"You're right... to an extent. I don't think wanting to respect her goals and her dreams was wrong, though."

Itsuki frowned. "That... isn't really what I meant."

"I know, and I don't disagree with you. I'm just trying to figure out what the right thing to have done was. Is it really as simple as 'talk to her and put my foot down earlier'? That seems... naïve."

Itsuki shifted, and popped another candy in her mouth. "I think it is that simple. You definitely shouldn't have tried to go behind her back."

"Maybe."

Sighing, Itsuki pinched the bridge of her nose. " I do have to say, I don't think I've seen Yotsuba this upset in a long time. Even after her fight with Nino, she mostly just seemed annoyed."

"Oh," I said, a sinking feeling materializing in my stomach. "...I see."

...I really, really screwed up.

"Ah! Sorry, I'm not trying to say that to make you feel worse, I promise!"

"I believe you," I murmured. "It's fine."

Itsuki seemed suddenly unsure of herself... but after a moment, she reached out and awkwardly put a hand on my shoulder.

"Look," she sighed, "I'm not going to lie, and say you didn't do anything wrong; you did. But Yotsuba isn't going to stay mad at you forever. If you go to her, and properly apologize, I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"Well, maybe," I said doubtfully. "I don't know..."

"Well," she said, patting my shoulder, "you won't know if you don't try, right?"

"You're right."

Nodding several times, Itsuki removed her hand from my shoulder, and popped another candy in her mouth.

"Hopefully she's willing to talk to me," I said, rising from the bench and stretching. "I... I'm not great at this sort of thing."

"Most people aren't," Itsuki said drily. "Just do your best."

"I will. Thanks, Itsuki. I really appreciate your help."

Itsuki smiled up at me, her red hair fluttering about her face in the cool winter breeze flowing over the roof of the school -- there was a warmth in her smile, a sense of camaraderie. Somehow, it relaxed me.

"Anytime," she said. "Just don't half-ass it! I don't want a repeat of those texts you sent her. Give a real apology, ok?"

Groaning, I buried my head in my hand. "Don't remind me."

"Good luck."

Looking through my fingers, I could see a suddenly serious look on her face -- but the hint of a smile was still there.

A tentative smile reaching my face, I nodded.

We descended from the roof a few minutes later... and while I didn't particularly feel any better, I did feel more focused. The correct path still wasn't clear to me; all I knew was that the one I'd chosen had been wrong.

It had been wrong, and I'd hurt Yotsuba in the process.

...and myself too.

The bell rang soon after, and I returned to my class. The anxiety that coursed within me wasn't getting any better; and as I was forced to sit through lecture after lecture of material that I'd already thoroughly studied, my mind quickly turned inward, driving itself further and further into a bog of anxiety and regret.

By the time the school day ended, I was exhausted.

Exiting the classroom, I walked the hallways aimlessly. I wasn't sure what to do; there was a visceral part of me that didn't want to go to the library. Didn't want to return to the scene of our fight. Yet, in the absence of that... I felt lost.

Footfalls on linoleum. Clack. Clack. Clack.

I walked past the large windows that overlooked the courtyard, and glanced out. In the distance, I could see figures gathering at the track.

A pang in my heart.

Then, I frowned. Yotsuba wasn't there. Even from this distance, I would have been able to make out her tacky ribbon.

Descending the stairs, I almost subconsciously made my way toward the school entrance. My heart was pounding -- trying, desperately, to break out of the confines of my chest, to smash through the ribs that kept it contained.

Then, I rounded the corner into the entryway, with its array of footlockers, and froze.

She was there.

Duffel bag flung haphazardly over her shoulder, her ribbon half-wilted. Every pore of her body screaming of her exhaustion, and her devastation.

I opened my mouth.

No sound would come out.

She hadn't seen me. Yotsuba leaned against the door, pushing it open with her shoulder... and she was gone.

Again.

Itsuki's words echoed.

You won't know if you don't try, right?

Shaking my head, I stepped forward.

"Yotsuba!"

I pushed through the door after her, words finally pushing their way free. She was walking towards the track... but at my words, she turned, and my chest clenched at the clear shadows under her eyes.

"...Uesugi-san."

The way she said my name, quiet, flat... it was painful.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, trying to stop myself from visibly wincing.

She looked back towards the track. Then, back at me.

She closed her eyes for a moment.

Then, she shook her head.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I have to go."

"Then--"

"Also... I'm sorry, Uesugi-san. I don't really want to talk to you right now."

I froze... and I could feel ice beginning to spread out of the cage in my chest.

"...Oh," I said softly. "I... ok."

The hurt must have been audible in my voice, because Yotsuba's eyes seemed to immediately fill with regret... or, I may have been projecting.

"Just... not right now," she said. There was a strange tone to her voice. It was almost... pleading.

"...Ok," I repeated, biting my lip.

Not right now... means eventually, she will.

I guess.

It didn't feel any better.

"Bye, Uesugi-san."

Yotsuba looked away from me. Then, pulling her duffel bag tighter around her shoulder, she continued walking towards the track... and I was left watching her go.

Deep inside, the beast whimpered, retreating from the hoarfrost-coated bars.

Slowly, achingly, I turned away from the sight of her retreating back, and returned to the interior of the school.

I was alone.

Pulling out my phone, I emailed Itsuki. A quick, short message.

<She didn't want to talk to me.>

Walking over to my footlocker, I closed my eyes, and pressed my forehead against the cool metal. There was something comforting about it... but it was a cheap comfort. It only lasted as long as it took for my skin to warm up the surface. Pulling back, I began to open the locker, and change my footwear.

I didn't feel like studying.

I was going home.

The journey back to my family's apartment was blustery and cold; the wind from earlier in the day hadn't settled down. Grey clouds overhead loomed; yet, not dark enough to threaten rain. It was the sort of unsatisfying ambiguity which left one feeling unsteady. Everything about it felt wrong.

Therefore, in its own way, it felt right.

I passed a small playground; some children were playing there, but with the strong wind they were struggling. Soon, I imagined they would give up, and retreat to shelter.

Retreat to somewhere that would give them comfort from the wind and the cold.

Comfort...

Yotsuba's face swam in my mind's eye again, and I shook my head violently.

A few minutes later, I was home, unlocking the door with my keys. As I stepped through the door, Raiha stared at me in shock.

"Onii-chan... why the heck are you home so early?!"

"Wasn't feeling great," I muttered.

Her face morphed into one of concern. "Oh no! Do you need anything?"

"Just rest, I think," I said quietly, closing the door behind me. "...A lot of rest."

Raiha nodded multiple times. "Ok! I'll make you some soup!"

I paused, and blinked. "Sure. Uh... thanks, Raiha."

She beamed at me, and I could feel some of the ice in my chest retreat.

I have people in my life who love me.

Moving over to the table in the middle of the room, I sat, and leaned back to stare at the ceiling.

Maybe that can make things a little easier.

It didn't feel like it.

About fifteen minutes later, Raiha brought me a bowl of hot broth. Bringing it up to my lips, I blew on it... and then took a deep sip. The warmth spilled down into my core, and the frost pushed even further back. Lowering it again, I looked up at an expectant Raiha, and forced myself to smile.

"It tastes good," I murmured. "Thanks for this."

"Of course!" she smiled. "I'm happy that I can do what I can do."

"I appreciate it."

Raiha giggled, and then returned to whatever shenanigans she'd been up to in the kitchen before I'd arrived. I slowly continued to sip the soup, and closed my eyes.

...Do what I can do... was it?

My dad had apparently been out running errands after picking up Raiha from school; about an hour later, he returned home, and we had dinner. I tried to do some studying afterwards... but as before, my heart wasn't in it, and I gave up fairly shortly thereafter.

It was strange. A feeling that I didn't recognize; a lethargy taking hold of my whole body, as though every inch of me were submerged in a molasses that drew every movement to a halt. I didn't want to do anything; I didn't want to think about anything.

Like ice, a numbness freezing every part of me in place.

I wanted to dissociate.

Yet, I couldn't. Even as I tried, my eyes kept drawing surreptitiously to my phone.

To my connection to her.

Yet, whenever my hand reached for it, I forced myself to stop.

My willpower had been weakened.

But not that much.

Not yet.

If she wants some separation... I'll respect that.

My chest twinged.

I have to.

I didn't sleep well that night.

Nor the next.

Two days later, I was staring morosely down into my sparse lunch when I heard the sound of footsteps across the linoleum floor of the cafeteria. Glancing up, I was just in time to see the chair across from me pull back, and somebody sit down in it.

Yotsuba...?

"Why, you look positively gloomy my dear fellow. Chin up!"

Closing my eyes, I let out a long, strained breath. Then, I sat up, and made eye contact with Takeda, doing my best to keep my eye from twitching.

I'm seriously not in the mood to--

"Here," he said, his sparkling grin radiating across the table as he shoved a bowl my way. "I bring an offering my good sir!"

...Nevermind, he can stay.

"Thanks," I said, grabbing the bowl, "though I'm a bit confused. I thought these were in exchange for my help with the girls?"

"Consider it a final payment," Takeda sighed, suddenly looking less cheerful.

"I... see," I frowned, popping some karaage into my mouth. "Well, I guess I'll accept then."

We sat in silence for a moment, Takeda expectantly staring at me as I ate. Then, a sense of awkwardness growing in my chest, I put down the bowl and scratched my cheek.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out," I murmured. "I know you were trying your best."

"It is what it is," Takeda said, shaking his head. "Alas, 'tis the product of my own incompetence. I wasn't able to touch their hearts -- I failed at the fundamental task of a tutor. It is, unfortunately, unsurprising that I was dismissed."

"You're not upset about it?"

"Of course I am," Takeda sighed, poking at his food. "Despite my Adonis-like appearance, my dearest Uesugi-kun, I am in fact human. Grouching about it won't do me any good though, will it? I can't change what happened -- all I can do is try to learn lessons from it. Besides, it's been a few months. I can't dwell on the past forever."

Blinking, I looked down at the bowl of karaage. "That's... quite admirable, actually."

"It's also not as though I've completely given up," Takeda said quietly. "I have still occasionally helped Nakano Itsuki with her studies since my firing."

My eyes narrowed. "Have you, now?"

"Indeed," he said, either not noticing or ignoring my tone. "The opportunity to at least partially mitigate my mistakes presented itself... and given I was never doing it for the money in the first place, I decided to help. I'm still not sure if it's been useful at all, but..."

"Well, still," I said quietly, "that's very kind of you. I know she's been wanting support."

"Maybe," Takeda said, brightening slightly. "Her company is also not particularly unpleasant, you know? So, it's not a hardship."

"Oh? Is that so?" I said, an eyebrow rising.

"Mhm," Takeda murmured.

"You know," I said in a low voice, "Itsuki... she went to bat for you. She tried really hard to convince her dad not to fire you."

He seemed to pause for a moment, almost as though he were tasting my words. Then, Takeda scratched his cheek, and looked away from me.

"Is... that so?" he asked, an awkward note to his voice. "That is... good to hear."

My eyebrow continued to rise... but I found that I couldn't quite bring myself to get emotionally invested in the faint red tint to Takeda's cheeks. It was too much of an ask in my current state.

"I did as well," I said, swallowing the last karaage. "Didn't do much good, though. So... sorry."

"I am simply happy to hear that you both attempted to intercede on my behalf," he said plainly. "I could not ask for much more."

Ding dong, ding dong.

"Ah-- the bell," Takeda said, standing up. "Alas, we must part. However, as always, 'twas a pleasure to have a little chat, Uesugi-kun."

"Right," I nodded, drinking the last of my glass of water. "See you."

As Takeda picked up his tray and strolled away, I stared after him for a moment... and then, I felt my eyes being drawn almost against my will to the right. To the quintuplets' table.

To where Yotsuba wasn't.

The other four were there, grabbing their trays and getting ready to head back to class.

Yotsuba, and her green ribbon, were conspicuously absent.

A pang. A shudder.

I closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath. The hoarfrost coating the iron bars, dancing in fractal patterns as it had spread out from the depths, had been forced into a short retreat by Takeda's unexpected intervention. Yet now, it was beginning to return, as the cacophonous silence of my own mind surrounded me.

Eyes open.

Shoulders locked.

Another deep breath, and then I rose.

I won't let this overtake me.

Days passed, and Yotsuba and I remained at a distance -- and within the blink of an eye, the exams were looming large, a mere twenty-four hours away. The quiet place of iron will in my mind, my strength that I had always used to force myself to study, had been corroded, consumed by rust and wear. It had been a week since our fight, and I had barely been able to force myself to study at all.

Itsuki gave me reports on Yotsuba when she could. Tales of sleepless nights, of emotional turmoil. Erupting temper, hastily suppressed. Somehow, the fact she was handling things as badly as me, if not worse, made it all the harder. I wanted to reach out to her, to try and be her support.

Yet, I could feel myself paralyzed. I knew she hadn't wanted to talk to me -- but perhaps more importantly, I didn't know what to say.

The whole thing had been blown out of proportion, and I had no idea what to do.

So, I settled for sending her an email.

<Good luck with exams. I'm sure you'll do great.>

A message, sent in the depths of the night, as I tossed and turned in anticipation.

There was no response.

I'd expected it, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

The morning dawned sooner than it had any right. Sunlight breaking through the horizon, hurtling through the glass of the window and falling on my sleepless eyes. I could feel my body consumed by lethargy, my sight pinned to the ceiling above me. The quiet sound of Raiha's breath, of my father's soft snores filled the space... and in that momentary calm, I could feel my own breathing slowly begin to accelerate.

The day of the midterms had arrived.

Rising, I got dressed and began preparing. I could feel a sense of sluggishness clinging to me like a film, slowing my movements and hindering my processing. There was a morass of dissociation in which I found myself, an all-encompassing feeling that I couldn't quite shake; like I was watching my movements from afar.

Eventually, Raiha and my father woke up, and we had breakfast. Then, bag over my shoulder, I left for school.

I felt sick.

No response from Yotsuba. Not enough sleep. A complete breakdown in my willpower and its accompanying drive to study.

"I'm a freaking mess," I muttered to myself as I walked through the gates that led into the school.

Pausing at the doors leading to the footlockers, I glanced back at the gate. There was part of me that hoped I would see the black car pulling up, that I would be able to see her for a moment, even if it was only a glance.

I was too early.

She wasn't there.

Taking a deep breath, I turned, and entered the school.

Underprepared, unarmoured, I walked into combat.

I sat at my desk, and pulled out my flashcards in a futile attempt to compensate for the studying I'd failed to do in the previous week. Reminders. Hints. Details on mathematical formulas, and their regimes of applicability. It flowed over me as water flows past rock; permeating only micrometres at a time.

"Make sure to write your name on the exam."

It was already time.

Pencil to paper.

I felt sick again.

"That's time."

A flurry of activity, and all of it seemed to just pass me by without being processed. I couldn't remember which questions had been asked, or how I'd answered them. Everything was on autopilot. Eventually, the first day of exams ended, and I had barely been present for any of it.

She still hadn't responded.

"Cheer up, Uesugi-kun."

I was at a family restaurant -- a rarity for me. The quiet hubbub of the disparate groups at their own tables was drowned out by the slurping sound of the girl across from me as she rapidly lowered the water level of a milkshake while looking up at me.

"That's easier said than done," I muttered, picking at the plate of french fries in front of me. "I've been completely out of it all day. I can't think straight at all. This sucks."

Itsuki's face twitched, and I got the distinct sense that she was holding back from making a comment. Instead, however, she just took another deep sip of her milkshake, and then slid it to the side.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I wish I could do more to help, but..."

"It's fine, you're doing plenty," I sighed. "Besides, my friendship with Yotsuba is something I need to handle myself."

"Friendship, huh?" Itsuki said, nabbing one of my french fries. "Yeah, I guess your friendship is something that's just between the two of you."

I frowned. "Why do I feel like you mean something by that?"

"Don't worry about it. Geez, the fries here sure are delicious, aren't they?"

I stared at her for a moment, my eyebrows furrowed as Itsuki blatantly changed the subject. For a brief second, I considered pushing her on what exactly her intentions were... but frankly, I couldn't summon up the energy.

"I believe those are mine," I said drily. "Though, since you're paying, I suppose I can part with a few."

"Wow, Uesugi-kun, very generous," Itsuki smiled, grabbing another fry. "Should I even bother asking how the exams went?"

Biting my lip, I looked away from Itsuki.

"I'd prefer you didn't."

A quiet bubbling feeling in my chest. I wasn't quite sure what it was... but it seemed to almost verge on regret. She blinked at me in confusion, before shrugging and pulling a notebook from her bag. "Fair enough, I guess. I'm... also not thrilled with how it went."

"Reviewing before the next set?" I asked, glancing down at the English notes splayed out in front of her.

"Mm," Itsuki nodded non-committally, popping another fry in her mouth. "I need it."

"I see. I guess I should probably also do a bit of review. I've... not been able to study at all in the last little while."

"We can do it together, if you'd like?" Itsuki offered, glancing up at me with a hopeful look on her face. "I could use the help."

A moment of conflict in my chest -- but, in all truth, my answer was never really in doubt.

"Sorry," I murmured, shaking my head. "I'm fine to sit with you while you study, but I'm not going to actively help. That... wouldn't feel fair. To Yotsuba, I mean."

Pouting, Itsuki plopped her head down in her hands, scrunching her cheeks between her palms. "Yeah, I figured that was what you'd say. You're not going to cheat on her, after all."

I frowned. "Cheat on her...?"

"Nevermind," Itsuki sighed. "It was a bad joke. I know that's your thing with her. I'll make do."

"I could call Takeda over, if that would help?" I asked, pulling my phone from my pocket.

To my surprise, Itsuki's face flushed, her eyes widening. "N-No, you don't need to do that! Why would you even think to do that? That's definitely not necessary, Uesugi-kun! I don't want to see his face at all!"

I frowned. What a weird reaction.

"I mean, I know he's been helping you study since he was fired," I frowned. "I wasn't teasing you, I was genuinely offering."

"You... know that?" Itsuki squeaked.

"Um... yes? He told me the other day."

I had a distinct sense I was missing something here.

"...Oh."

Itsuki's face was a deep red, matching her hair -- and as she lowered her head down to her notes, her eyes frantically scanning across the pages as an avoidance technique, my frown only deepened.

Takeda, what the hell did you do?

Shaking my head, I pulled out my own notes.

As we settled into studying, each independently reviewing that which we had missed, I could feel a quiet sense of anxiety growing in my chest. My focus was shot; as my eyes darted from sentence to sentence, the words kept blurring. Whenever my eyes closed, even for a moment, I was back in the library. Back in that moment when Yotsuba had blown up at me.

It was slightly distracting.

An hour had passed, and I had gotten nowhere.

Slamming my notes shut, I lowered my head to the table and groaned.

"That's not like you, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki said, looking up from her notes.

"Is it really surprising?" I muttered. "I'm not exactly in prime condition here."

"Don't you always brag about your super willpower, or something like that?" Itsuki asked, a hint of concern in her voice. "You must really not be doing well."

"Mm."

Leaning back, I rubbed my eyes, then stared at the fluorescent lights above me.

"I just keep turning it over and over in my head," I murmured. "I know I made the wrong decision. Probably a dozen wrong decisions, which all compounded. I know, but..."

"...But you don't know what the right decision was?"

Looking back down at Itsuki, I nodded my head.

"Mm. It just feels like... I don't know. Do you remember what Ichika said on the day of Yotsuba's track meet, back in the winter?"

She frowned. "Uh... no?"

"She was joking," I said, staring down at the table in front of me, my eyes unfocused, "but she said I didn't understand Yotsuba."

Itsuki was silent.

"I think... that's true," I said softly. "I think there are a lot of things about Yotsuba that I thought I understood... but maybe I didn't."

"What do you mean?" Itsuki asked carefully.

"I don't understand what's driving her," I murmured. "I don't understand why she's so desperate to succeed at both track and her studies, in a way that she wasn't before winter break. Something changed. I don't understand why she's..."

I trailed off, my eyes lingering on the textbooks in front of me. We sat in silence for a moment. Then...

"I think I need to go home," I sighed. "This just... isn't working. I'm not going to get any more studying done. I think I'll need to just lean on my past studies, and hope it holds."

"Oh... ok," Itsuki said, a note of melancholy slipping into her tone as I began to pack my books away. "I guess that's ok."

"Sorry."

"It's fine! It's fine, you do what you need to do," she said. Gathering her notes, she began to also shove them into her bag.

"I do feel a bit bad, I don't want to force you to leave early," I frowned.

"It's fine," Itsuki repeated, shaking her head. "It would be weird for me to stay by myself, and I can study at home anyways. I-- Ah, excuse me! The bill please."

After the server brought our bill, Itsuki went to the till to pay, and then we left. After a short walk, we reached the bus stop for my ride, and I shoved my hands into my pockets.

"Don't worry," Itsuki said, her hand on my shoulder. "She'll come around eventually. You just need to talk it out. Then... you can ask her all the questions you have."

That... didn't work out so well last time.

"If she gives me a chance," I muttered. "Thanks though, Itsuki. I know you're trying to make me feel better."

"Did it work?" she asked, smiling weakly.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I still appreciate the effort, though."

"Well, I guess I'll take it. Have a safe ride home, Uesugi-kun."

"Yeah, you too."

The bus arrived nearly simultaneously with Itsuki's ride; yet, as I was about to step up through the opening door, there was a sense that compelled me to glance back at the black car of foreign make as she got in.

A flash of red through the door. Green, just for a moment.

She was there, in the back seat.

My heart caught in my throat.

Everything in me wanted to go back. To reach her. To talk to her. To touch her hand, and seek reassurance. To hear her voice, and--

I shook my head, and stepped onboard.

Notes:

I am... ALIVE!

A whole lot of things have happened in my life since I last updated. I failed to get that postdoc I was hunting for (don't worry, I have a backup position). I wrote and submitted a dissertation for my PhD, which I'm defending in a few weeks. I went on a honeymoon to Japan (woo!), and got a bunch of quint merch (and turned into a puddle in the process...).

I want to quickly take a moment to thank the people who reached out to me checking in over the last seven months, and want to re-iterate: I'm not going anywhere. It means a lot to me that so many people enjoy this fic, and want to see more!

This is another split chapter, a decision I made quite late in the writing/editing process. I decided not to go with Part I/Part II, but I think you'll be able to tell the split from the titles. This split wasn't because of length, unlike the others, but was instead a thematic choice.

Chapter 41: She Breaks

Notes:

Was going to post this sooner, but then I officially became a doctor of philosophy and also got covid, and that kinda got in the way.

I'd say enjoy, but... well, you'll see.

Chapter 41:
She Breaks

"Uesugi Fuutarou."

Surreal. Everything felt surreal.

There was a numbness spreading within me; an unfeeling that began at my fingertips, diffusing inwards towards my core. Like ice, cold and hard, it coated my palms and ate away at my skin. As I rose from my seat, it felt once again as though I were watching myself from the outside.

Footstep upon footstep.

"Well done, Uesugi-kun."

The teacher was talking to me.

"Still top of the grade, after all."

I took the proffered slip of paper without a word, nodding quietly and returning to my seat. The whispers of my classmates fell on deaf ears, as though speaking a foreign language. Sinking down to my desk, I glanced at the results, and then leaned back and closed my eyes.

Then, I pinched the bridge of my nose, and swore under my breath.

Class went on. Class let out. Yet, I remained at my desk, my eyes glued down to the slip of paper in front of me that was filled with accursed ink and fell news. I could hear the sound of my classmates rising, of my classmates leaving.

Footstep upon footstep.

"Uesugi-kun? How did it go?"

Itsuki.

"You first," I muttered, not looking up.

"Um... about the same," she murmured, holding out her own paper. "I improved a little bit from where I was at the end of the finals. Though, I don't know... it feels just as bad."

"Is that so?" I asked, taking her slip and eyeing it. "Well, at least you didn't regress."

___________________________________________________________________

Name: Nakano Itsuki

Japanese: 44. Math: 36. Science: 70. Social Studies: 28. English: 40.

TOTAL: 218

___________________________________________________________________

"I suppose so," she murmured. "I was... hoping for a lot more, though. It feels like I've still let Takeda-kun down."

"I wasn't aware you were so conscious of his expectations," I said drily.

"It's n-not like that!" Itsuki said, suddenly reddening. "I just meant that he put a lot of work into helping me, and I feel like I'm not improving enough in response!"

"I get it, Itsuki. It's ok," I said, doing my absolute best to avoid any hint of a teasing tone.

"Geez," she groaned -- clearly my efforts had been in vain. "Show me yours then!"

"Ah--"

Itsuki picked it up off the table... and then looked up at me.

"...Should I show this to Yotsuba?" she said softly.

"Please don't," I said, shaking my head. "This is my fault, not hers."

"If you're sure, Uesugi-kun. That said... it's been over a week. She's turning this into too much of a thing. I think she might need something to snap her out of it."

"Please don't," I repeated softly. "I... don't want to add to everything she has going on."

Taking the paper back from Itsuki, I looked down at its contents once again... and I felt sick.

___________________________________________________________________

Name: Uesugi Fuutarou

Japanese: 89. Math: 95. Science: 91. Social Studies: 90. English: 90.

TOTAL: 455.

___________________________________________________________________

"I have no idea," I muttered, "how the hell I'm still top of the grade with these grades."

Itsuki frowned down at the folded slip of paper... and then suddenly a growing look of horror appeared on her face.

"Um..."

I frowned at her.

"Well, you'd be able to," she grimaced, "if the person in second place in the rankings also slipped a lot."

I blinked... and then my eyes widened.

"Ah. Takeda."

"Yes, normally he'd have passed you with those marks, right?" Itsuki said, lowering her head into her hands. "Oh no, what have I done?!"

The ice grew in my chest, ever so slightly. Sliding my slip into my pocket, I stood up and patted Itsuki on the shoulder, as she had done for me the week before.

"Don't worry about it," I murmured, trying to keep my own feelings under control. "He's a big boy, he can make his own decisions. Clearly, he decided helping you was of a higher priority for him than studying. That isn't your fault."

"If... if you say so," Itsuki said, looking up at me, her face still contorted. "I need to go apologize right away, though."

"If it would make you feel better, sure," I shrugged, removing my hand. "I don't know if he'll accept it though. I highly doubt he blames you."

"Still," Itsuki said, shaking her head and throwing her bag over her shoulder. "I feel like I need to. See you later, Uesugi-kun!"

"...Sure. See you."

Then, she was gone.

I was alone.

As the classroom door slid shut, my eyes lingered on it for a moment... and then I turned to glance out the window. The weather outside, bright and sunny, felt completely at odds with my internal state. It was a gorgeous day, at least from inside the relative warmth of the school.

"Tch."

My hand in my pocket, I scrunched up the paper, and closed my eyes.

What a failure.

My worst grades in years. I could feel simmering frustration in my chest, and I bit my lip, glaring down at my desk.

I did this to myself.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, trying desperately to steady myself. There was a maelstrom of emotions in my chest, and it was leaving me on uneven footing. Frustration with myself over my numerous failings. Concern for Itsuki and Takeda.

Deeper concern for Yotsuba.

I hope this didn't cause her to fall back as well. Or... even worse...

Biting my lip again, I opened my eyes, and looked out the window at the trees illuminated by the too-bright sun.

"I don't know if she'll even tell me how she did," I murmured. "I..."

Squaring my shoulders, I vigorously shook my head, and then threw my bag over my shoulder, and exited the classroom.

My anxiety be damned-- I was going to the library.

I couldn't afford to slack any more than I had.

Stepping into the room, walking amongst the rows of books, there was a strange silence. It was almost as though the space itself were watching my return, reserving judgement as to whether to accept or reject my presence. As I emerged to the tables, I found them empty.

How fitting.

I settled down, for the first time in over a week, into the seat that had always been my own. The one in which I'd sat through hours and hours and hours with her.

Where I'd been when she'd left.

Shaking my head to clear the sudden sense of melancholy creeping up through my body, I pulled my bag out, and grabbed my textbooks. Splaying them out on the table, I leaned back, took a deep breath, and stretched my shoulder. Then, I took off my blazer, slung it over the back of the chair, and dove down into the morass that was the murky pools of academics.

It was a struggle.

The muscles of willpower I'd grown over the years, the iron will which had been my pride and joy, had atrophied to a shocking extent in the span of barely more than a week. Pushing through, mending the holes eaten away by rust and oxidation, resisting the temptations of sinking into the bottomless swamp that was the call of the fears in my chest -- it took everything I had.

I was able to hold out for a time.

Yet, eventually, I could resist no more, and I found my eyes growing heavy.

All the stress I'd been carrying, all my worries, they flooded over my shoulders like water breaking through a dam. It was irresistible, because I was exhausted. The past week and a half had been draining in ways that I hadn't even realized, subconsciously sapping me of my energy.

Returning to the scene where it had begun, it all came home to roost.

With a gentle thud, my head hit the table.

My dreams were torrid, shapeless nightmares that refused to solidify enough to be named. Even in my sleep, there was a part of me that knew they were nothing more than manifestations of my anxiety, eldritch beasts that personified my fears and yet remained beyond my ken.

It didn't matter what I knew.

The terror remained, and the terror grew.

It was everywhere, washing all over me; an oppressive feeling, like I was being smothered.

Asphyxia, some dark thing digging its claws into every part of me. Molasses encasing my body, cement poured down my throat. Spilling out of my lungs, driving deeper and deeper into me, I--

I was drowning, I was drowning, I needed air!

Gasping, nothing coming in, no salvation, I-- I--

I was--

My eyes shot open, and I involuntarily jerked.

A sound. Something nearby.

I shakily lifted my head, and saw the briefest flash of green.

...Yotsuba?

I sat up, cold sweat drenching my body... and my blazer slipped off my shoulders.

Blinking, I looked around me. The library was empty, the only sound the distant ticking of the clock.

Tick... tick... tick...

I reached down, picked my blazer up off the floor, and stared at it.

Tick... tick... tick...

Someone had draped it over me.

Eyeing the textbooks in front of me, I noticed they weren't in the same positions as when I'd last seen them; rather than splayed out in a mess, they had been organized into neat piles, sorted by subject.

Who...?

Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the chair, and held the blazer tight to my chest. The flash of green I'd seen as I'd awoken...

Was it her...?

I could feel my throat tightening. It felt like wishful thinking... but there was no denying that somebody had been here.

Who else could it possibly have been?

I didn't have any proof.

I wasn't sure I needed any.

Slowly, I released the breath that I'd been subconsciously holding. I lowered the blazer to the desk, and just... looked at it.

A quiet warmth in my chest. It wasn't enough to hold back the icy fog that had taken hold of the cage in my chest for the last two weeks... at least, not in its entirety. But, faint though the light was, it persisted.

Maybe... there's a way forward.

My thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of my phone. Pulling it out of my pocket, I grimaced at the time, and then noted the half-dozen missed calls from Raiha. Groaning, I messaged her that I was on my way home, and then began to pack my bag.

As I left the tables, as I weaved my way through aisles of books, there was a strangely bittersweet feeling in my chest. I didn't know if Yotsuba had actually been the one to care for me in my sleep, or if it was merely a projection of my desire for reconciliation that had led me to imagine the flash of green. If it was the former, then there was some hope.

If it was the latter... I wasn't sure what to think if it was the latter.

I wanted it to have been her.

Maybe that's all that matters.

"Oh, right," I muttered to myself, glancing down at my phone again and noting the date. "Her race is this weekend."

Sliding my phone into my pocket, I squared my shoulders, and walked out of the library.

As I closed the door, I thought I heard a gasp.

I decided I was imagining it.

That evening, after having my bath and preparing for bed, I was lying in my futon, staring at the dark ceiling. As the dappled pattern of light and shadow from the trees outside danced across the surface, my mind was churning.

Then, I rolled over, and grabbed my phone.

<Itsuki, you awake?>

A few minutes passed. Then...

<Yes. What can I help you with?>

I snorted. So formal.

<Yotsuba's track meet is on Saturday. Is it ok if I join you guys in the box again?>

<Are you sure you want to do that? I can ask for you if you want.>

<Yeah. I want to be there to support her.>

<Alright, then I will ask my father. Should I tell Yotsuba?>

I paused, staring down at my phone. Indecision, briefly dancing across my heart. Yet, as I hesitated with my thumbs over the numberpad, my mind slipped back to the day I'd tried to talk to her on the way to her track meet.

A deep breath.

<No. I think if she knew I was there, it would just stress her out. I'll join you guys after she goes down to the locker room.>

There was a long wait.

<Ok.>

Snapping my phone shut, I closed my eyes.

This sucks.

The next day, I was in my spot in the cafeteria... and Yotsuba still wasn't present at the table with her sisters. Once I'd confirmed her absence, I found myself staring down blankly at the gruel of watery rice in front of my face, my thoughts wandering.

The anxiety was beginning to sneak back in, the wavering light of the previous day dampened by time and exposure to the elements. As I pushed the rice around with my chopsticks, I could feel a strange pressure building in my chest.

Then, the scraping of a chair as somebody sat down across from me.

Takeda again?

I glanced up, only to be caught off-guard by a pair of piercing blue eyes staring directly at me.

"Yotsu--"

Then, I blinked.

"Oh. Hi, Miku."

"Fuutarou," she said softly. "Are you ok? You seem to be looking for something in your rice."

"Yes, my sanity," I deadpanned. "What's up?"

"Nothing, really," she said, breaking her chopsticks and pulling her lunch closer. "I just wanted to come sit with you?"

I frowned in confusion. Miku must have seen my expression, because she instantly began to pout at me.

"Why do you look like I said something weird?" she asked. "We're friends, aren't we?"

"We... are," I said slowly, nodding my head. "You just don't normally eat lunch with me, so I got a bit surprised."

"Is it really that strange? I had lunch with you and Yotsuba just the other day," she asked, continuing to pout. "I can leave if you really want, Fuutarou."

"No! No, sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That's not how I meant it at all. I'm grateful for the company."

Miku's pout was replaced with a strangely smug look, and she loaded a bite of the equally strange concoction on her plate into her mouth.

"Uh... Miku, what exactly... is that?"

"Hmm?" she asked, swallowing. "It's matcha-infused yakitori."

I blinked. "Since... when did we sell that here?"

The look on Miku's face was definitely smug now. "It's on the secret menu, Fuutarou. You have to know what to ask for."

"A... secret menu? We have something like that?"

Miku nodded very sagely at me... then, after a moment, cracked and started giggling.

"The secret menu is that I begged one of the cafeteria staff to make it for me," she laughed. "It's actually really good. Want to try some?"

Narrowing my eyes, I looked over the sickeningly-green meat on a stick.

"You know," I said hesitantly, "I think I'll just take your word for it."

"Your loss," Miku said, taking a bite. "I wonder if Itsuki would like it?"

I shrugged helplessly. As I watched Miku eat, a thought suddenly came into my head completely unprompted.

Is she... trying to make me feel better?

Despite myself, a warm feeling filled my chest. It was a strange thought, realizing that I'd developed something of a support network.

"Oh, by the way, Fuutarou," Miku said, putting down the now-empty stick, which I noted was stained green. "Did you get those questions about the hierarchy of warrior classes during the warring states period? I really enjoyed those, they were super interesting!"

"Most of them," I said drily, trying to suppress the feeling of self-directed ire that was rising in my chest at the reminder of my disastrous midterms. "I was a bit out of it that day, to be honest."

"That makes sense," Miku said quietly. "I hope you two make up soon."

Somehow, I hadn't expected Miku to just directly bring up the current... issues Yotsuba and I were having. Blinking, I nodded slowly.

"Thanks, Miku. I appreciate it."

"Of course," she nodded. "I'm your friend, and she's my sister. Why wouldn't I want you two to get along?"

I blinked again. I was still never entirely sure how to talk to her.

"I just meant I appreciate the support, actually, and--"

Ding-dong ding-dong.

The end of lunchtime.

"Hmm, I guess I've got to go," Miku murmured, picking up her empty dishes. "I'll see you later, Fuutarou. Thanks for letting me sit with you."

"...Sure," I said, remaining somewhat bewildered. As Miku walked away, I glanced down at my own food, and realized I'd barely touched it.

Shoot, I'm going to be starving during the afternoon.

Scarfing it down quickly, I loaded my bowl back onto my tray, chugged my glass of water, and then hurried back to the return counter. Then, bag over my shoulder, I hurried back to my classroom, and the remainder of the day.

The sun was setting out the glass window as I left the library hours later, my bag flung over my shoulder, each step feeling as though my feet were made of lead. It was taking monumental effort to force myself to study, even in the aftermath of the midterms -- every time I took a moment to pause and digest, and every time I took a breath and my focus slipped, my mind returned to her.

I must have manifested her, because as I approached the footlockers, I saw Yotsuba getting ready to leave, track practice having completed. As her red hair swirled around her head while she turned to the door, as her wilted green ribbon followed the flow of air, I was struck by a sickening sense of deja vu. I had seen this scene before.

I knew how it ended.

"Yo...tsuba?"

I could feel anxiety rising in my chest... but I pressed on.

She paused, a sliver of hesitation. I knew she'd heard me.

I could see her biting her lip as she partially turned back to face me. I knew her. I knew the subtleties of her face, knew the cracks in the masks she tried so hard to wear.

Not perfectly, not yet.

I knew her, and I knew the look of anguished indecision on her face. A flurry of emotions. Hesitation. Pain. Anxiety.

Guilt.

So much guilt.

The last emotion was an underlying theme, the bedrock upon which the facade was built. As our eyes finally met, as she took a breath and the admixture of emotion began to clarify within her, I could see it radiating from every pore of her.

My hand, almost on its own, half-rose to reach towards her.

I...

Her eyes, piercing blue.

"I..."

Her words, not mine.

She turned.

Then, she was gone.

I was alone.

Slowly, I leaned against a footlocker, and pressed my head against the metal. It was cool to the touch, leeching heat from my skin.

I held it there for a long moment.

Then, I gently banged my fist against it and swore under my breath.

I stayed like that for a long time, closed fist pressed side-on against the locker, my forehead in gentle contact. Yet, as the moment of frustration, of pain, passed, the gears of my mind which had been so recently embalmed in mud began to turn. Despite everything, I found myself analyzing her reaction. Trying to read it.

Trying to understand.

"Guilt..."

I turned over, and leaned the back of my head against the locker, eyes trained on the ceiling.

"This isn't just about me being an idiot," I muttered. "There's more to this."

For a long moment, I stared at the ceiling, my eyes not truly processing what was before them; my mind was turned inward. Turning over the data I had, my memories of her behaviour, of her fears, of her dreams. There was something there, something not quite clicking.

Biting my lip, I vigorously shook my head and walked over to my footlocker.

"I don't get it," I whispered to myself. "She didn't look angry. She looked..."

Sad. She looked sad.

Opening my footlocker, I changed my footwear, and then stepped outside. In the distance, by the school gates, I could see her clambering into what looked like a taxi... and then she was gone. Clenching my teeth, I took a deep breath and then began making my way home, desperately trying to banish memories of Yotsuba's pained face from my mind.

"This freaking sucks."

"What does, Onii-chan?"

I was home, and Raiha was giving me a confused look. Sighing, I flopped onto my back on the tatami mats, staring up at the ceiling that was so familiar to me.

"Everything," I said solemnly.

"Oh," Raiha said quietly. "I see."

A pause.

"That's a lot of things."

"Right?"

Groaning, I covered my eyes. I had no idea what to think anymore. My entire chest was filled with conflicting emotion, freezing cold mist, darkness flowing from the cage in turbulent flows and unstable vortices forming a front at the intersection with the quiet warmth of the library, and the blazer draped over my shoulders. There was still some light there. Yet, it was a weak light, a faint light. In the icy breeze flowing from the depths, it wavered, and flickered, and threatened to die.

I felt sick again.

"I'm going to bed," I murmured

It was far too early. Yet... I just couldn't.

I couldn't face consciousness.

As I pulled out my futon, and curled up under the blanket, I could feel the truth emerging from the typhoon within, rising above all the chaos.

"I miss her," I whispered. A quiet voice, just for myself.

The next few days at school were awful, everything a blur of anxiety, frustration, and guilt. Yotsuba and I continued to orbit one another, never quite meeting; when I did see her, it was only from a distance, and she never quite met my eye. In her absence, I found myself leaning more and more on Itsuki for support.

It wasn't the same. Not even close.

Eventually, the weekend arrived, and the day of Yotsuba's track meet.

As I got ready in the morning, I found myself subconsciously trying to fix my hair in the mirror -- two tufts of hair refused, as always, to lay flat. There was a nervousness to my hands as I futilely tried to attack it with a comb. It was only when the alarm on my phone went off, a quiet electronic chirping sound, that I finally gave up and set off.

The meet was at the same stadium as the previous time. As the bus rounded the bend, and it came into view, I could feel my chest clench with nerves.

For the briefest of moments, I considered just staying on-board.

Considered letting myself be carried onward.

If I ran, I wouldn't have to face rejection again.

I wouldn't have to see her leave.

But...

I wanted to be there for her more than I wanted to flee.

A breath.

Squared shoulders.

I disembarked.

I don't want to run away from her.

As my foot hit the pavement, my phone buzzed, and I flipped it open to see a message from Itsuki.

<She just left. Wait five minutes, and then come up.>

"Good timing," I muttered, clapping it shut and slipping the device into my pocket. Slipping off to the side, I loitered by the side of the main door to the stadium, invisible from the inside. My heart was racing, and I could feel my hands clenching into fists. My entire body was acid, the snake of anxiety holding my spine in a death grip, fangs dug deep into my bones.

It was subtle, but I was trembling.

Closing my eyes, I drew deep breaths, letting my chest expand and contract. Steady. Calm. Calm. I needed to control my emotions, rather than letting them control me.

Five minutes. It was time to go.

Another trembling breath. Then...

My eyes snapping open, I turned, and walked into the huge lobby of the stadium. After a brief check that I couldn't see Yotsuba, a simple feat given the much-diminished crowds in relation to my last visit, I hurried up the staircase to the left and made a beeline for the box seats.

I could hear the chatter of voices behind the door as I arrived.

Voices that sounded so achingly similar to hers... yet also wrong.

Completely wrong.

Last chance to run...

Shaking my head, and gritting my teeth, I opened the door.

"Uesugi-kun! Come in, come sit!"

Itsuki was there.

"Mm," I grunted quietly, closing the door behind me and moving towards the empty seat I could see directly in front of me. Settling in, I found myself between Itsuki and Ichika, gazing down upon the grass field and rubber surface below.

The last track meet felt like an eternity ago.

A shudder ran up my spine.

"How are you feeling?" Itsuki asked me quietly, her hand slipping onto my shoulder as a note of worry slipped into her voice.

"Honestly?" I murmured back to her, keeping my voice low, "Not great. I'm only here at all because I want to support Yotsuba."

"That makes sense," she sighed, squeezing my shoulder gently. "By the way... I'm not sure how, but she seemed to have an idea that you'd be here."

I felt my heart skip a beat.

"...What?"

"Yes, I don't know why," Itsuki said, shaking her head and removing her hand, "but when she was here earlier, she asked me if I thought you were coming."

"I... see," I said, my eyebrows furrowing. "Uh... what did you say?"

"I did my best to just avoid the question," she replied. "I didn't want to lie to her. She seemed extremely confident that you would be here; though, I'm not entirely sure she knew how she felt about that."

"Oh..."

"Don't worry, Uesugi-kun!" Itsuki said, suddenly panicking. "I'm sure she wants you here!"

"I hope so," I muttered glumly, staring down at the still empty field. "I really, really hope so."

"S-She seemed more happy than unhappy about it!"

"Cheer up, Fuutarou-kun," Ichika said from behind my head, her customary teasing tone absent -- something which perturbed me far deeper than I knew how to express. "I know my sister pretty well. She'll come around eventually."

I bit my lip as I glanced back at her, not saying anything. I wasn't sure what I could say at this point.

I know she will too. I know, but... when is 'eventually'?

"Take the big sis guarantee," she winked, the teasing tone thankfully re-emerging in her voice. "I know what I'm talking about!"

"I think I'll pass," I deadpanned. "That feels less like a guarantee, and more like extended warranty on a used car."

"Hey!" Ichika whined. "I'm trying to help here! Geez, Fuutarou-kun, you're relentless!"

"Of course I am. You wouldn't keep me around otherwise."

Despite my words otherwise, I was beginning to feel a bit better. There was something about the lighthearted banter that felt... normal. It wasn't enough to make me forget my anxiety, but in the face of Ichika's laughter, it felt a bit easier to face.

At least for a moment.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us this morning."

A voice, crackling over a loudspeaker.

My gaze was ripped away from Ichika, and I stared down at the track below, my eyes darting back and forth across the field. A second of respite -- now, the adrenaline levels in my blood had spiked, charging furiously through my veins. The armrest was in a chokehold, my knuckles turning white from the pressure.

She's here.

She's coming!

The student athletes began to file onto the field. They were a far smaller collection this time, only four schools attending. I vaguely remembered Yotsuba having mentioned the differing circumstances around the friendly meets, but in that moment I couldn't recall the details. The athletes were facing away from us -- and in the sea of people, I couldn't make her out.

My eyes began to dart more desperately.

"Where are you?" I breathed quietly.

"Ah! I found her!"

My head whipped around to where Nino was leaning forward, her finger pointing down into the crowd.

"Third from the left, at the very back!"

Turning back to look at the group, I could indeed see Yotsuba there. The way she was carrying herself, she'd been lost in the small sea of people around her.

She looked absolutely shattered.

My heart clenched.

"At least she can't see me," I muttered.

"What was that, Uesugi-kun?" Itsuki asked, tilting her head as she glanced at me.

"Nothing. Don't... don't worry about it."

Suspicious, she glanced away again. My eyes were locked on to Yotsuba, drinking in the sight of her. I couldn't bring myself to look away -- couldn't look away from the sight which I'd been starved of, from the warmth that was slowly beginning to fill my chest at long last.

Yet, it couldn't last long enough. Soon, the athletes were retreating, and she was gone.

I felt like I was going to choke.

"Breathe," Itsuki whispered. I nodded silently, not registering the fact she'd picked up on my state.

The races began... but she wasn't there. Not right away, anyways. My eyes were constantly scanning, looking for her.

With each pass, it felt more desperate.

When will she be here?

When...

She was there.

Warming up on the side of the track, heavily panting.

I locked onto her again as the prior race ended.

Yotsuba...

I bit my lip. The emotions swelling within me were something I didn't recognize. A strange desperation, something that felt out of my control.

She moved to the beginning of the track, and continued stretching as the previous athletes left.

What's going on with me? I... I can't look away. I...

Then, standing up from a lunge, she looked directly up at the box.

I wasn't sure what urge took me then. The whole point of the do-si-do I'd enacted with Itsuki was so that she wouldn't see me, that I could support her quietly from afar. Yet, as her sea blue eyes trained on the box, as I felt them searching for me, I felt my legs acting on their own... and I stood.

Leaning over the edge of the box, I was visible to the entire track below.

Visible to her.

Our eyes met.

They held, over the vast distance between us.

A moment. An hour. I couldn't say.

Quietly, the warmth in my chest flared.

"Racers, ready yourself."

Her gaze broke away, and I collapsed back into the chair.

I was shaking.

Yet, I could see it, even from this distance.

She was as well.

"Uesugi-kun, what were you--"

The gun went off-- and everything was suddenly as though it were in slow motion. Eight young women launching themselves off the starting block, throwing themselves headlong into a race.

It wasn't close.

Yotsuba was, within moments, well ahead of the pack.

She was lightning, and fire, and fury. In her wake, the other girls were nothing.

Movement and agility and grace, and flame.

For a moment, caught in the sunlight shining down through the open top of the stadium, she was beautiful.

I could feel my breath caught in my throat.

The finish line approached.

Ten steps.

Nine.

Eight.

Then, it all changed, and my entire world came crashing down.

With only a half-dozen paces remaining, she jolted, and Yotsuba's legs gave out from under her. With a thud that could be heard throughout the entire stadium, she crashed into the ground, her limbs limp. With her speed, she rolled a short distance... and then came to a stop a half-pace before the finish line.

For a moment, the box was silent as the remaining girls closed the gap and passed her to cross the finish line, unaware of what had happened, not given enough time to process.

Yotsuba wasn't moving.

Ice. Every ounce of warmth, devoured in a moment.

Somewhere nearby, there was screaming. I wasn't sure who.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

A frigid void was growing within my chest, mounting horror latching itself onto me. Nothing felt real; nothing outside the sight of Yotsuba crumpled on the track.

She... she...

My eyes were locked on to her still form-- until the moment I couldn't see her anymore, as paramedics swarmed the field and surrounded her.

Numbness. Everything was numb.

In the distance, the sound of a siren began to wail.

Notes:

She was warned.

Next chapter in a week, which will be the finale of this arc.