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Anakin had stripped down to his undertunic, his pregnant belly pressing firmly against the thin fabric, as he diligently focused on unscrewing some part of the speeder than Obi Wan couldn’t have identified if his life depended on it.
Obi Wan wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea of his pregnant partner working hard to repair two broken speeders in the blistering Tatooine heat but when he raised his concerns, he’d been met with a quite honestly frightening look and a harsh, ‘I am not an invalid, Master’ so he had settled for monitoring the situation from the top of the steps leading into the hut.
The speeders were kind of a gift from Owen and Beru. Not really having anywhere else to go, and with Anakin unable to stomach staying on Coruscant after the Council’s decision (his voice had taken on a particularly ugly quality every time he said that word), he had flown them both to Tatooine.
Owen and Beru had been understandably taken aback but pointed them in the direction of an abandoned hut and gestured at some speeders stored in their garage which Anakin had taken a liking to.
Owen had told him that the speeders hadn’t worked for years but if Anakin was willing to have two pieces of junk crowding up his home, then be his guest and take them off his hands. Anakin had been visibly unmoved, but Obi Wan felt his delight and gratitude through the Force.
Now he was crouching in the shade afforded to them by the wall of their hut, tinkering with the engine. The ship that had brought them here was shining in the twin suns just behind where Anakin was working.
‘Where did you get the money to purchase the ship?’ Obi Wan asked. It was a questioning he’d been rolling around in his brain since Anakin had bought it. He felt it would be wise to have Coruscant long behind them before he raised it.
‘Huh?’ Anakin asked, even though Obi Wan knew he had heard what he said. He was hoping that Obi Wan would take this as a sign that he didn’t want to talk about it and not push the matter. Unfortunately, he wasn’t going to have any such luck.
‘The money, Anakin,’ Obi Wan repeated more firmly. ‘Where did it come from?’
Anakin gave a grunt of triumph as the speeder roared to life. He gave Obi Wan a very self-satisfied smile, letting the engine run for a few seconds before turning it off.
‘I told you I could do it,’ he said, looking very comfortable with the rudimentary tools in his hands. Obi Wan opened his mouth and Anakin cut him off. ‘And before you ask again, I’ve saved it up over the past several years so you don’t need to worry. I didn’t steal it.’
‘I wasn’t suggesting that you did,’ Obi Wan said, feeling slightly more agitated than he had before. He shifted where he sat, feeling chilled despite the scorching desert air. ‘I was just wondering how you managed to save it.’
Anakin had shifted his attention to the other speeder.
‘Pod racing,’ he said casually, as if he wasn’t just admitting to breaking the Jedi Code by having money. ‘A few repair jobs, not unlike these ones, actually.’ He gestured vaguely at the speeders. ‘Saving any allowances I was given from missions that might require bribery or purchases of goods and services.’
Obi Wan felt a little dizzy at the thought of Anakin so brazenly possessing money. Of being so unconcerned about the many, many ways he had acquired it. It turned out that attachment wasn’t the only aspect of the Jedi Code Anakin had shown little regard for.
‘Anakin,’ he said, his despair written into those three syllables. ‘Those allowances belong to the Jedi Temple. You are supposed to return any excess at the end of the mission.’
Anakin stared at him. His gaze was half empty, half full of challenge.
‘I also think you’ll find that you’re not supposed to have relations with your former Padawan,’ he said, with just a little heat but enough to make the hairs on the back of Obi Wan’s neck rise. ‘But you’ll find that I’m carrying your child nonetheless.’
Obi Wan felt a blush colouring his cheeks.
Of course, Anakin was right. If he’d been a better person – a better Jedi – he would have turned Anakin down the first time he came into his bed, and then again, every time after that. He would have been more vigilant, more aware that Anakin’s violent vomiting after a little overindulgence at a Celebratory Banquet could interfere with his daily contraceptive pill and had the foresight to use a condom or abstain entirely in the days that followed.
But he hadn’t, and he didn’t, and the result of that was now growing in Anakin’s belly.
‘You’re being too hard on yourself,’ Anakin said, unexpectedly and not making eye contact. ‘It takes two to make a baby and I wasn’t careful either.’
Obi Wan stroked his beard with his fingers. ‘Yes, but all the same Anakin –’
‘All the same, nothing,’ Anakin said firmly. ‘We both made choices and I don’t regret a single one of them.’
‘Really?’ Obi Wan sighed. ‘Anakin, you’re twenty years old and you had your whole career ahead of you. How can you say –’
‘I want a baby,’ Anakin interrupted. His expression seemed to shimmer in the heat. ‘And I’m glad that we’re having one. Do you not feel the same way?’
‘No, I do. Of course, I do,’ Obi Wan said desperately. ‘But can you honestly say that you don’t regret getting expelled from the Jedi Order?’
Anakin shrugged. ‘We’d never had been able to have children if we’d stayed.’
Obi Wan couldn’t help but notice that that wasn’t exactly a no. Anakin had just lost his whole future, everything he’d worked towards, and as his Master, as his partner, Obi Wan couldn’t help but feel responsible for this.
Anakin leaned over to get a look at the other side of the speeder, letting out a soft gasp when his belly hit the edge of the shiny metal, preventing him from doing so. Anakin pressed his hand to his new roundness and shifted around the speeder, glaring at Obi Wan as if daring him to comment on what had just happened.
Valuing his life, Obi Wan stayed silent.
‘You know it’s not your fault, Master,’ Anakin said dully, after a few minutes of peace. He wiped sweat off his forehead with the back of his flesh hand. He seemed abruptly exhausted. ‘The Council wanted to get rid of me anyway.’
Anakin was prone to fits of paranoia but even Obi Wan had to admit that this statement wasn’t entirely unfounded. The Council had been concerned about accepting Anakin to begin with and there had been enough incidents over the years that hadn’t exactly eased these concerns.
Master Windu didn’t trust Anakin. He’d said those words to Obi Wan’s face. And while Obi Wan didn’t feel the same way, he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t understand where the Council’s fear was coming from. He loved Anakin, loved him with all of his heart to the point that he would kill or die for him if it came for it, but still…He felt it. Something dark and venomous sliding through his veins, occasionally leeching out in his words, his presence in the Force, or in the sudden spark in his eyes that filled Obi Wan with a thrill of fear.
He wasn’t sure if Anakin was aware of this presence inside of him. Obi Wan hoped he was not, felt it would be better for everyone if Anakin remained ignorant. But then he remembered the look in Anakin’s eyes when Master Windu pronounced him expelled from the Jedi Order and the way he’d pulled the Force all around him as he’d stood in the middle of the room, glaring down everyone in it. There was a very tense moment, during which everyone, including Obi Wan, felt that with that amount of power, Anakin could very easily have shattered every window, sent every living soul plummeting to their deaths, ground the very Temple itself to dust if he so chose.
Anakin had cocked his head, his lips twitching slightly up at the corners as he felt their fear. And then, it all stopped. The Force returned to normal, the dark storm clouds Obi Wan could have sworn were billowing outside became a bright, blue, sunny day, and Anakin dropped his lightsaber on the floor with a clang and walked out of the Council Chambers without a backwards glance.
It would have been better if he’d stormed out, Obi Wan thought. There was something about his cool, controlled strut that made an uneasy feeling settle in his gut.
‘If you think you feel uneasy in your gut, Master,’ Anakin said bluntly, ‘try being morning sick for thirteen weeks straight.’
Ah. So Anakin was monitoring his thoughts through the bond. That was good to know. Obi Wan wasn’t quite sure what to make of the fact that he hadn’t been able to detect him doing it.
‘You’ve been distracted, Master,’ Anakin said, fiddling with some lever in the speeder’s engine. ‘No need to have an existential crisis over it.’
The speeder came to life and Anakin switched the engine off before brushing past Obi Wan as he walked into the hut.
By the time Obi Wan followed him, he was deeply asleep on one side of their bed.
*
Anakin was not in their hut when Obi Wan awoke the next morning. It only took a quick glance out the window to notice that one of the speeders had gone. Obi Wan found that he was entirely unsurprised by this and was merely grateful that the ship was still here.
When he’d announced that he too would be leaving the Order, he hadn’t for a second considered that maybe this decision would not be a welcome one for Anakin. And yet, in the past few days, he’d been forced to consider that maybe it was. Anakin hadn’t displayed any sort of emotion when he turned to see Obi Wan following him out of the Temple and had seemed faintly surprised when he declared that he would go anywhere Anakin was going.
‘Well,’ he’d said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. ‘I mean, if you’re sure…?’
Of course, Obi Wan was sure. How could Anakin think any differently when surely he knew that he was Obi Wan’s life? And that was without even considering the fact that they were having a child together.
If Obi Wan had thought that Anakin’s strange, distant behaviour may end once they’d come up with a plan for their immediate future, he’d been dead wrong.
Anakin had wordlessly led him to a place on the lower levels of Coruscant and proceeded to shock him with his ability to move with ease through the grime and debauchery and quite frankly, borderline criminal activity, whereas Obi Wan felt a little shaky just by being here. It was almost like –
Almost like I belong here? Anakin suggested grimly through their bond.
Almost like you’ve been here before, Obi Wan replied drily.
Anakin merely chuckled.
After bartering on a ship before reaching a price he found acceptable – dear Force, where had he learned to do that because it wasn’t from Obi Wan – Anakin got them through the atmosphere and into hyperspace.
Obi Wan was just wondering if he’d ever intended to speak again when Anakin had spun around in his seat, with one hand pressed against his belly.
‘Oh,’ he said, colour draining from his face. ‘Oh kriff.’
He’d stumbled to the fresher and actually thrown up for the first time during his pregnancy. Up until now, it had just been queasiness that was manageable, although uncomfortable, during the day but really flared up at night. Obi Wan had spent many nights on the fresher floor where Anakin took refuge just in case, rubbing Anakin’s back and making soothing noises while Anakin clutched his belly, breathing shallowly and swallowing thickly until the sun came up.
‘It seems the baby doesn’t like to fly,’ Obi Wan said, trying for a joke when Anakin emerged, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and still looking a little unwell.
‘Mmm, he or she gets that from you,’ he’d said, his voice hollow and exhausted.
They’d spent the rest of the journey in silence.
Everything about this situation, about Anakin, felt wrong. Normally when he was upset, Anakin raged and cried and screamed and demanded and wailed until it was all out of his system. Or, maybe just until Obi Wan liked to pretend that it was out of his system. He was beginning to suspect that Anakin didn’t so much as let things go as put them on a backburner, fueling some sort of rage inside his heart.
Obi Wan didn’t know what to make of his quiet anger that had simmered just below the surface since he’d left the Council room but it worried him greatly. Nevertheless, he was determined to start today off in a better manner.
That was, if Anakin ever returned. There wasn’t a whole lot to do in their hut and the view out the window of blustery sand dunes wasn’t exactly fascinating. Obi Wan prowled the hut restlessly until the twin suns were high in the sky and he heard the sound of Anakin’s speeder returning.
On his first sight of Anakin, Obi Wan was thankful that he at least had the sense to wear a long, loose-fitting cloak that concealed his pregnancy. While he may have been doing a disservice to Anakin’s home planet as there were probably many people on Tatooine were perfectly friendly, he couldn’t deny that the whole place had an air of danger about it that Coruscant did not. Anakin didn’t have a lightsaber anymore, and while he still had the Force to protect him, Obi Wan didn’t like the idea of him being out there appearing to be vulnerable.
‘I’ve got a job,’ Anakin said, placing some groceries on what Obi Wan supposed was going to be their kitchen counter. ‘Nothing fancy, just working for a mechanic in town, fixing up speeders, maybe building a few when he sees how good I am. It pays above average wages so we’re going to have a pretty good life, you know, for Tatooine standards.’
He offered Obi Wan a hopeful smile that Obi Wan couldn’t quite manage to return. He couldn’t help but feel there was a huge baby-shaped hole in this plan.
‘Did you tell him that you’re pregnant?’
Anakin’s hand stilled on a strange-looking fruit that Obi Wan didn’t recognize.
‘No,’ he said. ‘But that won’t matter. He could obviously tell I’m an Omega from my scent and if you’re an Omega on Tatooine, trust me, you’re almost always pregnant whether you want to be or not.’
‘What does that mean?’
Anakin let out a humourless laugh before taking a bite of the fruit. Juice dripped down his chin.
‘Well, there’s no birth control for a start.’ He chewed his mouthful of fruit thoughtfully. ‘I mean, unless you count pulling out or avoiding being intimate during heats, which I don’t. That’s something we’ll have to think about once our little one gets here.’
He rubbed his belly and the tenderness of the gesture gave Obi Wan some hope that this new, distant version of Anakin may not be permanent. That maybe once he’d got over his shock and sense of betrayal, he’d go back to how he’d been before.
Then he smiled and it was the most beautiful thing Obi Wan had ever seen. ‘Unless… I don’t know, Master. How many children would you like to have?’
‘Let’s just get this first one out before we worry about the rest,’ Obi Wan said drily. ‘Why else?’
‘Hm?’
‘You said “for a start”. Why else are Omegas always pregnant?’
Anakin sighed.
‘Alphas run the government and the legal system.’ He snorted. ‘If you can even call it that. So if one were to, say, take advantage of an Omega, I think you’ll find everyone looks the other way.’
Dear Force, what kind of place had they come to?
‘It’s a good thing though,’ Anakin added, possibly because Obi Wan looked like he might be sick. ‘Let’s face it, I won’t be able to hide the baby much longer and I know for a fact that this guy won’t have any problem with me working while pregnant so I’ll be able to keep earning an income until I give birth. And then afterwards, you can look after the baby when I go back.’
Anakin was right about not being able to hide his pregnancy. Obi Wan had read that most first-time parents didn’t show until their sixteenth or seventeenth week of pregnancy and yet Anakin’s body had started changing almost as soon as the test had come back positive. He was only seven weeks along when the growth inside him became obvious when he was naked or in just a light tunic and his belly had taken on a round, pregnant swell around his tenth week. While he was able to camouflage it under the layers of his Jedi robes, he really had been living on borrowed time with the Jedi Council, even if…Even if the incident hadn’t happened.
‘Maybe I could go somewhere,’ Anakin had said, only about a week ago, lying on his back in bed and tracing his fingers up and down the bump of his belly. His nausea had let up enough to enable him to eat a proper meal and he seemed more settled and steadier than he had in a long time. ‘When I start to show –’
‘I hate to be the one to tell you this but “when you start to show”, happened about five weeks ago,’ Obi Wan said gently. Anakin slapped him lightly across his upper arm and Obi Wan chuckled softly. ‘Dear one, we both know it to be true.’
And you look beautiful, he thought reverently.
Anakin glowed in the Force. Thank you.
‘Maybe I could go to Naboo,’ Anakin mused. ‘Or Tatooine. Just until the baby’s born. The Jedi don’t ever need to know, we could come up with an excuse –’
‘Even if that would work, even if I could stand to be apart from you for that long – which I can’t – what are you planning to do once the baby’s arrived?’ Obi Wan asked.
There were a few moments of silence, during which Anakin merely rubbed his belly fondly.
‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead,’ he admitted after a while, in true Anakin fashion.
‘I mean…’ Obi Wan sighed. ‘Unless you wanted to have the baby adopted?’
‘I don’t,’ Anakin said immediately. Then he looked uncertain. ‘Do you?’
‘Of course not,’ Obi Wan said. He placed his hand over Anakin’s and felt his contentment at the gesture through the Force. ‘I merely mentioned it as it would be the only way your plan could work. We cannot hide a child for eighteen years, Anakin.’
In the end, all the planning in the world wouldn’t have made any difference. Obi Wan had been considering if maybe there would be some way to explain the situation to the Council when Anakin had woken up to some light bleeding coming from between his legs.
To say he’d been panicked and distraught would have been an understatement. He’d lain down with his head on Obi Wan’s lap, shaking as if he was freezing to death and tears dripping continuously down his cheeks.
‘There must be something wrong,’ he’d murmured. ‘I – there shouldn’t be blood, should there? Not when I’m pregnant.’
No, Obi Wan thought grimly. No, there shouldn’t be.
‘Dear one, we have to go to the Halls of Healing,’ he said, when the bleeding hadn’t eased after five minutes.
‘No, we can’t,’ Anakin said, sitting up abruptly and swiping his fingers under his eyes to catch the fresh wave of tears. ‘We can’t, because if we tell the Healers, then they’ll have to tell the Council and then…and then…’
He trailed off because they both knew what the likely outcome of that would be.
‘It might be too late anyway,’ Anakin said bitterly. ‘And then we’ll have given ourselves away for no reason at all.’
‘Is that what you think?’ Obi Wan asked, a sadness like he’d never known settling over his chest. ‘That it’s too late. That it’s…?’
He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say dead.
Anakin took a few shuddering breaths before shaking his head. ‘I don’t know!’ he said angrily. ‘I-I’m too upset to feel anything through the Force.’
Then he threw himself back down into Obi Wan’s lap and sobbed as if his life was over.
‘Anakin,’ Obi Wan tried. ‘Anakin…’
When Anakin didn’t respond, he gently brushed his curls out of his face and ran his fingers through them until Anakin calmed down enough that Obi Wan felt like he might be able to process information again.
‘Dear one, I’m going to look for our child now. Is that okay?’
He waited until Anakin had nodded and rolled onto his back to make their baby easier to access.
Knowing what he might be about to feel could very well break his heart, Obi Wan pressed his hand against Anakin’s skin and reached out. It was always difficult to sense their child, given that Anakin glowed like an absolute supernova. Not for the first time, Obi Wan wondered if their child must feel like they were constantly surrounded by the light of a thousand burning suns.
He searched and searched and then, ever so small and wrapped up inside Anakin’s own Force signature, was the pulse of their child.
He or she was still alive. For now, at least. A quick glance at Anakin’s quivering thighs told him that he was still bleeding.
‘It’s okay,’ Obi Wan said. ‘He or she’s hanging in there. We need to get help though. Now.’
He stood up, hastily looking for a robe to wrap around Anakin as they made the journey to the Halls of Healing.
‘Are you sure?’ Anakin asked, although Obi Wan could tell that he wanted to go. ‘What about…What if…’
Obi Wan settled a cloak around Anakin’s shoulders and rubbed his upper arms in a vague attempt to warm him up.
‘Damn the consequences,’ he said, and he was pleased to see that almost got Anakin to smile.
Healer Che had done a scan and confirmed that both Anakin and the child were in perfect health. A little bleeding, while frightening, was nothing to worry about in this case.
And then, doing what she believed to be right, she had informed the Council about Anakin’s condition the following morning.
Obi Wan bore her no ill will; she was doing her duty. Something he on many occasions had clearly failed to do.
Now, standing in the meagre kitchen, Anakin’s plan to work as a mechanic sounded horrendous. Obi Wan had seen what needed to be done to repair ships and speeders. It was hard, manual labour and here, he’d have to do it in the stifling heat. Anakin had already confessed to feeling uncomfortable, complaining that his hips felt stretched and sore and that he constantly felt full and bloated. That was only going to get worse as the baby grew and the last thing he needed was to be working, did he say up until he gave birth?
‘What if it becomes too much?’ he asked. ‘What then?’
Anakin rolled his eyes.
‘It won’t become too much. But,’ he amended quickly. ‘If in the unlikely event that it does, I could probably get some translation work. Getting official documents translated from Huttese to Basic or the other way around is always in high demand. But you don’t need to worry. I know on Coruscant you have things called Omega Leave, but trust me, if I were to give birth in the junkyard behind the mechanic’s shop, I’d hardly be the first. Omegas always work right up until their time; the lucky ones go into labour at night and deliver at home. The others…’ He broke off with a shrug.
This was utterly ridiculous. Just this morning, Obi Wan had been planning to tell Anakin that he was going to look for work. Out of the two of them, he was clearly the one in the best position to have a job and –
‘“Clearly the one in the best position to have a job”,’ Anakin repeated scathingly, because apparently, once again, he was eavesdropping on Obi Wan’s thoughts. ‘Do I need to remind you that we are on my home planet, in the place I grew up, and that out of the two of us, I am the only one who can fix things or even speak the language here?’
‘Anakin,’ Obi Wan said, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. ‘It was not my intention to start a fight with you.’
‘Good,’ Anakin snapped. ‘I’m pregnant so I guess I might spontaneously collapse or something if you did.’
And with that he stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door.
*
To Obi Wan’s intense relief, they fell into a sort of rhythm over the next few weeks. Anakin’s nausea had finally subsided so Obi Wan was able to make sure that he ate a proper breakfast before heading out to his job in town. Obi Wan spent the hours fixing up their hut or helping Owen and Beru with their moisture farm. Despite the fact that they barely knew Anakin – had only met him once before he and Obi Wan came to live here – they were excited at the prospect of becoming an uncle and aunt and Obi Wan was grateful that their child would have other adults in his or her life.
Anakin came home late each night, tired and covered in grease, but always a little exhilarated, full of stories about what he’d managed to accomplish during the day.
True to his word, his employer apparently had no issue with Anakin being pregnant. There was no hiding his belly now, especially now in the light tunics he now wore to withstand the blistering heat. Sometimes, Obi Wan found himself feeling grateful that Anakin was able to be so open like this. If they were still Jedi everything would need to be hidden and somehow, he felt that may have taken away some of the joy.
‘Look, Master,’ Anakin said, one afternoon when he arrived home. Obi Wan emerged from the bedroom to find Anakin placing a stack of baby blankets down on the bench. ‘A customer was so happy with the way I fixed her speeder that she gave me all of these for when the baby comes.’
‘That was very kind,’ Obi Wan said, reaching out to feel the impossibly soft fabric between his fingers.
‘She also told me that my belly is about the size of her daughter’s when she gave birth.’ Anakin pulled a slight face. ‘So, she was a little surprised to hear that I’m not even halfway yet, but I think she meant well by that comment.’
‘Of course she did,’ Obi Wan said, taking Anakin’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. ‘Everyone who looks at you can see how healthy you and the baby are.’
It was true. Obi Wan finally understood what people meant when they said that pregnant people glowed. And despite the fact that neither of them could afford conditioner anymore, Anakin’s curls were more luscious than ever.
Anakin squeezed his hand.
‘I’m sorry I snapped at you,’ he said a little grudgingly, but still, he got credit for apologizing. ‘A few weeks ago when we spoke about me having a job. I was just…’
‘Hormonal?’ Obi Wan suggested, teasing him a little. ‘Emotional? Fifteen weeks pregnant?’
Anakin rolled his eyes, but he ruined the effect slightly by smiling. ‘Just for that, I take back my apology.’
Obi Wan brushed his hair back from his face.
‘Anakin,’ he said, gearing up to ask the question that had haunted him since the Council meeting. ‘Why didn’t you tell the Council that I’m the father of your baby?’
He felt like he’d remember moments from that meeting for the rest of his life.
‘A serious betrayal, this is,’ Yoda had said solemnly.
Anakin had bowed his head. Obi Wan had hated how alone he looked, standing there in the middle of the room while every Master around the edge silently judged him. He looked young too. Very young.
‘A question of course, must be raised about the child’s paternity,’ Mace Windu had said, regarding Anakin with every sign of dislike.
Anakin shook his head. He appeared to tremble a little and Master Windu had leaned forward, his expression softening a little.
‘Skywalker,’ he said, not unkindly. ‘Forgive me for getting into your personal matters, but you did not get into this situation by yourself. If it were that you were coerced, or if something happened on a mission, or if an older Jedi has perhaps enticed you, this could very well have an impact on the Council’s decision.’
Anakin shook his head quickly. ‘No, it was nothing like that, Masters.’
They’d probed further but each time Anakin had shaken his head and refused to give any details about his baby’s father or the circumstances surrounding its conception.
‘Because they would have expelled you, Master,’ Anakin said now, shock written all over his face. ‘Of course, I didn’t tell them!’
‘It would have been no less than I deserved,’ Obi Wan said. ‘You didn’t need to shoulder all of the blame yourself.’
‘I wanted to give you the choice,’ Anakin said. ‘If I’d told them, they would have expelled you too and then you would have had to come with me. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want you to one day wake up and resent me for ruining your life. So I said nothing so that you wouldn’t have to leave if you didn’t want to. Although…’ Anakin offered him a small smile. ‘I did rather hope that you would.’
Obi Wan returned the smile, feeling like some kind of bond in his head was slowly knitting back together.
*
They were just leaving Anakin’s workplace when it happened.
Anakin was seventeen weeks along and Obi Wan had decided that he felt more comfortable if he drove him to and from work. He sensed that Anakin suspected his true motivations, but Obi Wan always came up with an excuse about needing something in town, and a little uncharacteristically, Anakin hadn’t pressed the point.
Obi Wan was getting onto the speeder behind Anakin when something behind them backfired like a blaster shot, making several people in the vicinity scream.
‘Oh,’ Anakin gasped, pressing his hand to the lower left side of his belly. He breathed in and out sharply, his eyes very wide.
‘Are you all right?’ Obi Wan asked, ready to spring into action to do – he didn’t quite know what, but anything that Anakin needed.
‘Yeah.’ Anakin smiled. ‘Yeah, I’m great. I-I think that noise must have startled the baby. I felt it kicking for the first time.’
Obi Wan felt his throat grow very tight. ‘May I…’ He gestured towards Anakin’s belly.
‘Yeah, of course.’ Anakin took his hand and pressed it against his skin. He frowned. ‘Oh, I think it’s gone all shy. Come on sweetheart, your daddy wants to feel you too.’
He rubbed Obi Wan’s hand up and down and then he felt it. A firm kick, right in the centre of his palm. A wave of love like he’d never known seemed to wash through his veins like an ocean.
He’d always felt protective and privileged when he rode with his arms around Anakin’s pregnant belly, but never more so than he had that day. Their child had kicked all the way home as if to reassure them that he or she was all right.
Anakin was very quiet. As he parked the speeder and led Anakin into their hut, he couldn’t help but notice how tired he looked. Like he could sleep for days and maybe that wouldn’t be enough.
‘How are you?’ Obi Wan asked.
‘Fine,’ Anakin said, sounding a little distracted. ‘I mean, it feels a little weird, being kicked from the inside, but I’ll get used to it.’
He sank heavily onto the couch and rested his cheek on the palm of his hand. He had dark circles under his eyes and Obi Wan could sense his exhaustion through the Force.
Feeling a little like he might be taking his life in his hands, he raised the topic he’d been desperate to discuss since Anakin had told him he’d be working as a mechanic.
He could only hope it went better than he feared it might. Maybe now that Anakin had felt the baby move, the whole situation would feel more real to him. Although, given that Anakin had spent weeks feeling on the verge of being sick, not to mention that his taut, lithe abs had swollen into a firm bump that made it hard for him to bend down or roll over by himself, maybe it had always felt very real to him.
‘Anakin,’ Obi Wan said. ‘While I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, I’m the one who should be going to work every day. You should be at home, resting, growing our baby, while I take care of you. While I take care of everything.’
Anakin shook his head. ‘You’re wrong.’
‘I’m wrong?’ Obi Wan said, feeling absolutely stunned. ‘Anakin, do you have any idea how much energy it takes to create an entirely new person?’
Anakin brushed his hand down the curve of his belly. ‘I think I’m starting to. But still, you don’t owe me anything.’
‘Anakin –’
‘Master,’ Anakin said, sitting up straighter and looking desperate for Obi Wan to understand. ‘Don’t you get it? You came with me. You gave up your friends, your life, everything you have ever known so that I wouldn’t be alone. I don’t forget it, and I don’t take it for granted, not for one second. You’ve done enough for me. Please, just let me do this, let me take care of us. At least until you get used to how things are here.’
Obi Wan looked into Anakin’s soft blue eyes and felt more at ease than he had in weeks.
Because there it was. The reason why Obi Wan never needed to worry about whatever darkness the Council may have perceived in Anakin. Because whatever they saw, whatever might be within him, it would never override the fact that at his heart he was a good, caring, loyal person.
‘Okay,’ Obi Wan said softly. ‘But if you ever change your mind.’
‘I’ll let you know.’
Anakin shifted so that he was standing between Obi Wan’s legs and head was roughly level with his growing belly. Obi Wan opened up Anakin’s tunic and pressed his hands against the warm swell. There, he could sense a tiny, developing Force signature, distinct from Anakin’s but then not exactly unlike Anakin’s either.
‘Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?’ Anakin asked.
Obi Wan thought he knew but he didn’t want to sway Anakin either way.
‘You tell me what you think first.’
Anakin hummed and played absent-mindedly with Obi Wan’s hair. ‘I think she’s a girl.’
‘Hmm,’ Obi Wan said, rubbing small circles into Anakin’s skin with his thumb. ‘I was thinking that he’s a boy.’
Anakin pressed his fingers under Obi Wan’s chin and tilted his head up so they could make eye contact. Surprise was written all over his face.
‘Really? Huh, I wonder who’ll be right…’ He pulled a face and pressed his flesh hand against his lower back. Obi Wan’s heart clenched. It didn’t bode well that Anakin was already experiencing significant discomfort as a result of his pregnancy. He had a long way to go and the baby wasn’t exactly going to get smaller.
‘It’ll be you, my love,’ Obi Wan said. ‘You are far stronger in the Force than I.’
Their child was already strong too. The thought made Obi Wan vaguely afraid until he reminded himself that Anakin had grown up here utterly undetected and unhassled until the Jedi had come knocking. Surely, the same would be true for their child.
‘Mmm,’ Anakin hummed thoughtfully. ‘Whatever it is, I can’t believe he or she is so big already. I thought I’d at least have a few more months before I felt so uncomfortable.’ He gave Obi Wan a rueful smile. ‘And before I lost my figure.’
‘You haven’t lost anything,’ Obi Wan said firmly, and meaning it too. ‘You have never been more beautiful to me than when you’re carrying our child.’
‘Oh Force, we’re going to end up having ten, aren’t we Master?’ Anakin said, with mock-distress. Obi Wan could feel through the Force that maybe Anakin wouldn’t mind that so much at all.
‘You’re young,’ Obi Wan said, with a shrug. ‘It’s not like we don’t have time for that many. If that’s what you want.’
Anakin’s expression took on a bit of a dreamy quality before he smirked.
‘I’m going to wait and see how painful labour is before I make any commitments,’ he said. ‘But seriously, I am so glad that you’re here.’
‘Always my love.’ Obi Wan took both of Anakin’s hands in his. ‘Always.’