Chapter Text
And now you’re mine
Yeah, all you did was smile
‘Cause I’m a mastermind
~
“I thought Beatrice was the hopeless romantic of the two of you,” Lilith groaned as she dragged a cart of flowers out of the elevator.
“Come on. We have to hurry. We have, at most, ten minutes before she realizes I’m not in bed with her,” Ava mumbled as she grabbed the cooler from Mary’s arms and walked down the hall.
The night shift guard nodded at Ava as she walked past, and Ava was grateful that she didn’t need to think of a way to play this off as something she was doing for a friend. There was absolutely no platonic explanation for the two dozen bouquets rolling down the hall.
This was the big plan Ava had been working on. They returned to the hotel, and Ava fucked Beatrice so hard that she passed out from exhaustion. Ava was secretly proud of herself that it was easier than she expected it to be.
Then, when Beatrice was softly snoring, Ava slipped out of bed to text Lilith and Mary to bring up the supplies for the big surprise she had planned. Ava pressed a pillow into Beatrice’s arms to take her place and buy them a few extra minutes. The confused mumble that left the actress’s lips almost made Ava call it all off.
Instead, Ava forced herself to ignore that adorable pout and quickly threw on a tank top and shorts to meet their friends at the elevator. She couldn’t risk security coming to knock on their door, so Ava had to be there to warn the guard that people were coming up.
If they were going to spend one last perfect day in this hotel, Ava would ensure they did it right. That meant she would cover the room in flowers and have anything they could need for one memorable day.
So, Lilith was carting up dozens of bouquets, and Mary was carrying a bag full of supplies they had secretly been hiding in their rooms while Ava had been texting them directions for days.
“It is too early to be proposing, Silva!” Lilith called down after her.
Ava stopped in her tracks and turned around to shush Lilith. “I am not proposing!” Ava insisted in a hushed tone. “And if you wake her up from yelling in the hallway, I will be pissed.”
“Are you sure going in and out of the room a bunch of times won’t wake her up?” Mary questioned.
“Well, you’re going to stop the door from opening and closing while I bring everything in, and I’ll finish setting up after you two have left.” Ava set the cooler in her arms before the door as her voice got quieter.
“It would be faster with another—”
“No one goes into that room except me,” Ava cut Mary off.
Lilith scoffed an amused laugh. “She’s naked, isn’t she?”
Beatrice was naked, but Lilith did not need to know that. It also wasn’t why Ava was adamant about keeping everyone else out of the room. Beatrice had just stopped startling awake a few weeks ago, and Ava wasn’t about to risk that by having someone unexpected in there if they did accidentally wake the actress.
“Please, let’s do this quickly because she gets sad when she wakes up and I’m not there.”
Lilith rolled her eyes. “God, you guys are the worst.”
Ava didn’t have time to argue that Lilith supported this because she was literally helping Ava pull off the surprise, so she chose to ignore Lilith’s comment. “Where’s the lavender bouquet?” Ava asked as she searched the cart for the most important carnations in the sea of dark red flowers.
“Here,” Mary opened up the box in her hands. “I figured they were important, so I kept them separate just in case.”
If they weren’t both taken and if Mary wasn’t practically her older sister, Ava would have kissed her. Instead, she fished the bouquet from the box and pulled the key card from her pocket. “Alright, are we ready?”
Lilith crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. “What is the point of all this if you aren’t proposing?”
“Romance, Lil,” Ava sighed. “Now, silence from both of you until this door is closed again, got it?”
Mary placed a placating hand on Lilith’s shoulder. “We’ll be good.”
With a quick nod, Ava took a deep breath and unlocked the door. She opened it slowly and as little as she could to slip in and out quietly. Luckily, their room was still silent as Mary took the handle from Ava and held the door open.
Ava tip-toed into the room, bouquet in hand, and peeked around the wall to confirm her girlfriend was still asleep. The soft, warm glow from the hallway's light revealed a softly breathing Beatrice, still prominently pouting and one hand reaching across the bed. Ava had to act fast.
She placed the single bouquet of lavender carnations on the dresser in the same place Beatrice had put the flowers from Ava last week. Then, Ava quickly plucked one petal and kneeled to tuck it in the side pocket of her suitcase— the same bag that held every letter Beatrice had ever given her.
When Ava returned to the door, she found that Lilith had already passed two red bouquets through the door for Ava to grab. As much as that woman loved to tease them, she was always incredibly helpful. Ava took the flowers and quickly placed them on the nearest flat surface.
Over the next few minutes, they worked with perfect efficiency. Lilith placed flowers just inside the door, and Ava moved them to the nearest surface in the room. And when Ava ran out of places to put bouquets and she was worried she over-ordered, she came back to the door to find the cooler waiting for her.
Ava placed it aside and slipped back out the door. Mary closed it quietly behind her. “That’s everything?” Ava asked, slightly breathless. She might have been working hard to ensure she made no extra noise.
“Yeah, just a hundred flowers and some random frozen treats in the name of romance ,” Lilith teased.
“You’re enjoying that we are on a time crunch so that I won’t argue back, huh?” Ava asked as she stepped into Mary’s space to hug her friend. Mary seemed confused at first but relaxed quickly and gave Ava a kind squeeze. “Thank you so much. I love you guys.”
“Anytime, kid. It’s literally my job,” Mary chuckled as Ava let her go.
Lilith held up a hand when Ava turned to face her. “I don’t do hugs.”
“You do tonight,” Ava laughed as she stepped into Lilith’s space. The woman didn’t exactly hug her back, but she gave Ava a semi-friendly pat on the back. It was more affection than Ava thought she would ever get from Lilith.
“We won’t bother you tomorrow but don’t do anything stupid. We leave at the crack of dawn on Sunday,” Mary instructed as she gathered the empty box and placed it back onto the luggage cart, now devoid of flowers.
Ava sighed and stepped toward the door again. “I know. We won’t be late. I promise. Give Shannon and Camila our best, please.”
“Goodnight, Ava,” Lilith sighed. Ava could see just the faintest hint of care in Lilith’s eyes. It was practically an open declaration of affection given the woman who said it.
“Goodnight, I love you both so much. Seriously, I am so thankful for you,” Ava insisted.
“We love you too, kid,” Mary pressed her lips into a soft smile as she patted Ava’s shoulder. “Go get some rest.”
They both turned and walked down the hall toward the elevator. Ava let them get a few paces away before she gestured to the security guard that they were done for the night. She nodded at Ava in understanding, so Ava ducked back inside the room.
She closed the door as quietly as possible and was back in the pitch-black room. It was still silent lest for the sounds of Beatrice breathing. Ava quickly stripped out of the random clothes she had thrown on, double-checked the placement of the lavender flowers, and moved the cooler out of the way of the bathroom in case one of them got up in the middle of the night.
The plan had worked, and it was midnight when Ava finally crawled back into bed. She gently pulled the pillow from Bea’s arms and traded places.
“Ava?” Beatrice mumbled. She wasn’t awake, Ava could tell.
“Shh, I’m right here,” Ava comforted as she wrapped her arms around Beatrice’s waist and relaxed into the warmth of her favorite person.
Beatrice sleepily adjusted her hold on Ava until one hand lazily came up to hold her boob. Ava didn’t miss the smug smile on her girlfriend’s face as they both blissfully drifted off.
~
Ava wasn’t sure what woke her, but when she peeked one eye open to check the time, it was still the middle of the night. The tip of Ava’s nose was cold, so she dragged her blankets up to cover her face. She almost drifted back to sleep before Ava noticed something odd.
There was no one touching her. Ava had never woken up in this bed without the feeling of Beatrice touching her in some way. It wasn’t always a tight hold— though it often was. Sometimes, it was just a hand in hers or a leg pressed against Ava’s. But right now, there was nothing.
Eyes closed, Ava rolled over to face Beatrice’s side of the bed and reached out for her. Ava’s hand was immediately met with more nothing. Beatrice wasn’t there, and, even more alarming, the mattress was cold to the touch. Her girlfriend had been gone for a while.
Ava shot up. “Bea?” The panic was evident in her voice.
“I’m right here,” a hand found Ava’s leg through the blankets. “You’re safe. It’s okay.”
Beatrice was sitting at the end of their bed, facing away from Ava and staring off into the darkness of the room. She had put on pajamas and had her knees pulled up against her chest.
“What’s wrong?” Ava couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in her stomach.
“Nothing’s wrong. Go back to sleep, my love.” Beatrice’s voice was distant, and, despite her hand on Ava’s ankle, she still hadn’t looked back over her shoulder at Ava.
Ava didn’t listen. Instead, she climbed out from under the blankets and crawled across the bed to sit behind Beatrice. Ava pressed her naked front to Beatrice’s clothed back and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. She lifted her chin to rest on Beatrice’s shoulder and whispered. “What are we looking at?”
It was only then that Ava remembered that she had covered every surface of this room with flowers. Ava could follow Beatrice’s gaze directly to that single lavender bouquet.
Beatrice didn’t answer. She just leaned her head against Ava’s and sighed softly, relaxing back into Ava’s hold. Ava didn’t miss the soft sniffle Beatrice tried to hide as a deep breath.
Ava could feel her girlfriend thinking, but it didn’t feel anxious or obsessive. When Ava checked Beatrice’s hands and found them to be relaxed, she decided that it was best to just be patient for a while. That sinking feeling faded with time.
After what had to be at least twenty minutes of silence, Ava’s body betrayed her, and she shivered sharply. That was what finally pulled Beatrice for her thoughts. “You’re cold,” Beatrice whispered.
“I’m okay. Don’t worry,” Ava soothed. She would take on a lot worse than a cold hotel room to be there for Beatrice when she needed someone.
“You can climb back under the blankets,” Beatrice offered.
“Are you going to join me?”
Beatrice took a deep breath and finally twisted slightly to regard Ava. “Do you want me to join you?”
“I do,” Ava replied softly. There was a past life where Ava would have felt clingy for admitting something like that. Tonight, she didn’t even think twice about it.
“Then, I will.” And that was why.
Beatrice followed Ava back under the blankets, and Ava, not-so-subtly, made sure they were lying face to face. She intertwined their fingers and placed their hands in the space on the bed between them. Bea ensured the duvet was tucked underneath Ava’s chin to keep her warm.
Ava kept her eyes on Bea the whole time, searching her face to try and understand what had happened. The entire room faded around them as her eyes adjusted to the proximity until she could only make out Beatrice’s face in the darkness.
Her eyes were red and puffy. Long tear streaks that Beatrice did not attempt to hide trailed down her cheeks. Ava decided against commenting on it. It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when Beatrice’s body finally relaxed fully into the bed, that Ava broke the silence.
“Tell me what happened,” she requested quietly.
With a sigh, Beatrice nodded and opened her mouth to speak. “I was cold, so I got up to put on some clothes, and then I saw…”
Ava hummed in acknowledgment. “It was supposed to be a surprise for the morning,” Ava explained.
“I’m sorry,” Beatrice mumbled.
“For what?”
Beatrice squeezed Ava’s hand a little tighter. “I didn’t mean to ruin your surprise.”
Ava scooched closer on the bed until she and Beatrice shared one pillow. “You didn’t ruin anything. I would like to know why it caused you to sit and stare for a while, though.”
“I was going to come back to bed soon. I’m sorry that I scared you,” Beatrice said instead of answering Ava. A single tear escaped Bea’s eye, and gravity immediately pulled it over the bridge of her nose and down onto the pillow.
“You didn’t mean to. It’s alright. I’m just not used to waking up and not feeling you.”
“I wanted to come hold you but…” Beatrice trailed off.
Ava raised their intertwined hands to press her lips to the back of Beatrice’s palm. She understood. Sometimes, you just have to sit and stare. Sometimes, you get overwhelmed with the weight of it all, and if you move an inch, it feels like it will slip out of reach. “So you sat and stared at the flowers,” Ava sighed.
“So I sat and stared at the flowers,” Beatrice agreed.
“Here, I have an idea. Will you close your eyes for me?” Ava whispered. Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows and didn’t do anything. “Do you trust me?”
“Forever and ever and always,” Beatrice sighed. Her eyes were closed a moment later.
Ava adjusted to bring the arm underneath her head up to cup Beatrice’s cheek between the pillow and her face. “No matter what, don’t open your eyes. I only want you to focus on what you feel.”
Beatrice nodded and pressed her face further into Ava’s hand. There was something about the pure and unabashed show of trust from Bea that made Ava fall in love for the millionth time. What had Ava ever done to get the chance to hold this perfect heart in her hands?
Ava tentatively pulled her fingers from Beatrice’s and moved to hold her wrist. Carefully, Ava placed Beatrice’s palm flat against her chest and pressed Bea’s hand firmly against her heart. “Can you feel my heartbeat?” Ava asked quietly. She hoped they were close enough that Beatrice could also feel her breath.
“Mhm,” Beatrice confirmed as she fluttered her fingers against Ava’s chest. Her palm was warm against Ava’s skin, and Ava felt her heartbeat slow.
“How does it make you feel?” This was the point Ava was trying to make. She didn’t want Beatrice to focus on her senses. Those memories would always fade. Ava wanted Beatrice to focus on her emotions.
“Grateful,” Beatrice answered without hesitation. It was Ava’s turn to cry.
As if she had some sixth sense, Beatrice’s eyes snapped open the moment a tear escaped Ava’s eye. “Sweetheart?” Beatrice whispered as her warm breath danced across Ava’s face.
“I’m okay. I promise,” Ava replied quickly. “It’s just… I told you not to open your eyes.”
“I didn’t promise I wouldn’t. Tell me what made you cry,” Beatrice requested.
Ava leaned forward and pressed her lips as gently as she could to the apple of Beatrice’s cheek. The freckled skin was still salty and damp. “I can’t believe you’re real,” Ava mumbled as she pulled back to look Beatrice in her eyes.
“I’m very real,” Beatrice insisted. “I promise.” And Beatrice never breaks her promises to Ava. That was something Ava knew for sure.
“Bea,” Ava sighed. “Truthfully, we are going to forget some of this someday. We will not remember the color of the curtains or the shape of the lampshades forever. But we will remember how this made us feel.”
When Beatrice scrunched her eyebrows, Ava continued. “I will remember struggling to believe you’re real because I can’t figure out how I got so lucky to call you mine. I will remember how I fell in love with you a million times a day. This room— being in this room with you — made me feel safe and beautiful and capable. That’s what matters. Those memories.”
Beatrice’s hand left Ava’s heart to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Okay.”
The fact that Beatrice didn’t argue was enough for Ava. “Are you feeling better?”
Without a word, Beatrice shifted toward Ava and tilted her head down to rest her ear over Ava’s heart. Ava tucked her chin on the top of Beatrice’s head and let the warmth of her girlfriend's body finally thaw the last of the cold air from her skin. “I’m with you.”
She said it as if it was an answer to Ava’s question. Maybe it was an answer in its own way.
“We will always remember how this room made us feel. And the things we do forget are only gone to make room for new memories,” Ava whispered. She wasn’t just talking to Beatrice.
“So many new memories to make,” Beatrice breathed against Ava’s chest.
Running her fingers through the length of Bea’s hair, Ava buried her face into her girlfriend’s scalp and mumbled. “Go to sleep, baby. I love you.”
“Love…” Beatrice trailed off. She was already asleep.
Ava couldn’t help but trace her hand down to rest on the center of Beatrice’s back. She felt for the actress’s gently slowing heartbeat.
That was when Ava felt it too. Gratitude.
~
The first thing Ava saw when she woke the next morning was Beatrice’s face, still asleep and only a few inches from Ava on the pillow they were sharing. The morning light framed her like an angel, and all the oxygen left Ava’s body at the sight.
If it wouldn’t wake her, Ava would have kissed every single golden freckle on Beatrice’s face. Instead, she waited, content to watch this perfect woman breathe softly while feeling Beatrice’s hand in hers. Ava didn’t let go.
There was nothing to think about. There was nothing to consider. Ava just let herself stare unabashedly at the woman she loved.
An unknown amount of time later, Beatrice stirred with a heavy sigh and a gentle smile. That was when Ava finally allowed herself to kiss along her girlfriend’s cheekbones gently. They both devolved into giggling messes when Beatrice scrunched up under Ava’s affections.
“Good morning, baby,” Ava laughed when she finally decided to have mercy on her girlfriend.
“Who needs coffee when I can get woken up like that,” Beatrice chuckled as she wiggled her nose.
“Why not both?” Ava shrugged as she settled a hand on Beatrice’s cheek.
Beatrice stretched her body and leaned her face into Ava’s hand. “I like the way you think, Ava Silva.”
God, her name never sounded more beautiful than when it fell from Beatrice’s lips.
“So, I have big plans for our day if you want to hear them,” Ava sighed. She didn’t miss the way Beatrice’s face fell ever so slightly when she remembered it was their last full day in Atlanta.
“I always want to hear what you have to say,” Beatrice mumbled as she moved to sit up. Ava followed her, and they both landed against the headboard.
In the morning light, the flowers looked even more beautiful than Ava expected. The single lavender bouquet stood out amongst the sea of red carnations. She dropped her head to Beatrice’s shoulder and intertwined their fingers.
Ava felt Beatrice quietly scanning the room to see it the way Ava had intended for her to see it. “This is so beautiful, Ava. Thank you for doing this.” Ava could hear the smile in her voice.
“I’m so glad you like it.”
“I love it,” Beatrice corrected.
Ava took a long deep breath and pressed further into Beatrice. She was still the only one naked, and Ava wished they could be skin-to-skin right now. “The truth is, there isn’t a plan. But I wanted a day to relive some of our favorite memories. So, we have all the things we might need, and we can use all or none of it, but I want to have the best day we can, even though we are both a little sad,” Ava sighed.
Beatrice was quiet for a long time while she played with Ava’s fingers in her lap. “What did you get?”
“Well, there’s popsicles and ice cream in a cooler. Bath bombs and incense for the bathroom. I already warned security that we would probably order breakfast and dinner. We can stay here, or we can sneak up to the roof. Anything you want to do,” Ava explained.
Ava felt Beatrice shift to look at her, so Ava lifted her head and made eye contact. “Anything we want to do?” Beatrice asked.
Ava nodded in affirmation.
Without a word, Beatrice lifted her shirt up and over her head. Ava couldn’t help but let her eyes drop down to Beatrice’s perfect breasts and dark nipples laid bare for her view. Her breath hitched when Beatrice lifted Ava’s chin again, and she found pupils blown wide.
“I want to show you how much I love you,” Beatrice whispered.
“Show me,” Ava mumbled as they both slipped back under the covers.
Beatrice’s mouth was against hers a moment later, and Ava didn’t even attempt to muffle the moan she released into Beatrice’s mouth. There was so much genuine passion in that kiss. Not one movement of Beatrice’s tongue was unintentional or lazy. She wasn’t overbearing or insistent. Beatrice was pouring out so much care with every touch.
Her hands roamed Ava’s naked body, warm and gentle against the skin. Ava felt her arousal growing, but it wasn’t that throbbing heat she was used to. Instead, it felt like a blossoming warmth.
Oh so gently, Beatrice’s trailed kisses across Ava’s jaw and down to her neck. It was more tongue and hot breath than lips, and Ava had never felt something so perfect.
Ava reached down to try and encourage Beatrice to take off her pants so there were no barriers between them. Beatrice seemed to understand because she wiggled her legs until she kicked off her pants without releasing her mouth from Ava’s skin.
Ava pressed her thigh between Beatrice’s legs and was immediately met with wetness. As the actress began a gentle grind against Ava’s leg, she continued her path over Ava’s collarbone and to her chest.
When a hot mouth wrapped around Ava’s nipple, she threw her head back and pressed her chest further into Beatrice’s face. Ava’s hands found Beatrice’s head as she listened to the sounds of soft sighs, skin sliding across sheets, and gentle sucking.
“Bea,” Ava moaned. She wasn’t sure how Beatrice was doing it, but she was treating Ava so, so gently while still always giving Ava enough stimulation that she didn’t feel desperate.
Fingers teased the curls between Ava’s legs as Beatrice hummed against her tits. When Beatrice finally dipped into Ava’s folds, Beatrice’s hips faltered in their grinding. It only made Ava more turned on.
Two fingers found Ava’s clit, and it was a steady climb to the cliff from there. Beatrice’s perfect tight circles increased pressure while she rode Ava’s thigh. It was undeniable that she was working hard to make sure they tipped over the edge at the same time.
It was love unlike anything Ava had ever experienced. It was so gentle, so raw, and something only Beatrice could have given her.
Ava didn’t feel the need to warn Bea that she was close. Beatrice seemed to know when she gently grazed her teeth over Ava’s nipple, and they both moaned loudly.
Before she knew it, Ava tipped over the edge, and judging from the way Beatrice tensed up, she did too. Waves of warmth flooded Ava’s body, and the only thing she could think about was Beatrice’s body pressed flush to hers. Ava never wanted to let go.
As Beatrice came down from her high, she gently kissed her way back up Ava’s neck until they were lying face to face again. Beatrice’s face was flushed, and she was slightly out of breath. She looked more beautiful than Ava had ever seen her.
“I love you so much,” Ava breathed when they made eye contact.
“I’m so in love with you,” Beatrice mumbled as she pressed her lips to Ava’s cheek. “I just want to do this for a while.”
Ava pressed her lips to Bea’s forehead and wrapped her arms around Beatrice’s shoulders. “Then this is what we will do.”
They both sighed and relaxed completely on their bed as hands began to roam once more.
If a biographer were to tell the story of the rest of their day, Ava was sure they would gloss over all the important details. They would tell the series of events and not notice all of the little things Ava saw. So, here’s what Ava noticed.
When their hunger won out, and they had to take a break to eat breakfast, Beatrice ordered both of them pancakes. Both of them. Beatrice didn’t have an omelet like every other time they ordered breakfast. They both ate pancakes.
After they ate, Beatrice suggested they look at sex toys. And as they scrolled through Ava’s phone, trying to pick out something they thought they would both enjoy using, Beatrice didn’t get embarrassed. Not once.
She even quickly said, “I think that one might be too big for what I like,” and pointed Ava to another option she would prefer. They ultimately ordered two strap-ons to be delivered to their hotel in Wicklow next week. Ava might have teased Beatrice that it was a “lesbian rite of passage.” That was when Bea finally blushed, and they moved on.
Beatrice was obviously trying her best not to get lost in her thoughts most of the day, but when it got too overwhelming at one point, she asked to give Ava a massage. It ended up more like gentle tracing and soft kisses to Ava’s scars, but it was also the only time the entire day that Ava could tell Beatrice’s brain gave her a break.
Sometimes, Ava would tear up, and Beatrice was always right there to wipe them away. She never tried to convince Ava to stop crying. Beatrice never even asked if there was something she could do to help. They would simply hold each other until the emotions passed again.
They had popsicles in the afternoon. Beatrice’s genuine laugh when she realized Ava specifically requested one blue and one purple ice pop stopped Ava’s heart.
As they waited for their dinner to be delivered, Beatrice pulled them into a shower, and she didn’t flinch at the hot water this time. By the time they were both done cleaning each other, the pizza waiting for them in the hall had long grown cold. Ava would never forget the joy on Beatrice’s face when she realized they were finally eating cold pizza together.
And eventually, when they were both fully aware that they needed to go to sleep soon, Ava pulled out the last surprise for the day—a single pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Beatrice seemed genuinely upset that Ava had picked her favorite flavor over Ava’s, but it quickly faded as they sat cross-legged on the bed, sharing bites back and forth.
There had been a lot of talk about their favorite memories over the last two months, but it was the conversation that resulted from this pint of ice cream that quickly took the top spot for Ava.
From the bottom of the carton, Ava observed Beatrice scoop up one perfect last bite. She lifted the spoon in Ava’s direction and quirked her eyebrow with a gentle smirk.
“That’s it?” Ava laughed. “You didn’t even try to trick me!”
“Do you want me to try and trick you?” Beatrice chuckled.
Ava lifted her hands in faux exasperation. “I’m not just going to roll over and not put up a fight!”
“A fight? For ice cream?” Beatrice teased. She lowered the spoon back into the container so it didn’t drip onto the bed. “You should just accept that this is how it will be, my love. You will always have the last bite of ice cream.”
“Always? There has to be something! There has to be some reason you would let me give you the last bite,” Ava argued with a wide smile. Never in her life did she expect that the only recurring argument she would be having with a partner would be over who eats the last bite of ice cream.
Beatrice rolled her eyes. “Maybe when I propose or some—” Her mouth clamped shut as she realized what she had just said. Her eyes grew wide as if she had admitted it by mistake.
Ava did her best to search her girlfriend’s face, but she knew that the questions rattling around her mind would only be answered if she asked them aloud.
“You want to get married?” Ava asked quietly (hopefully). They had never really talked about their future— they only agreed that they were in this relationship for the long haul. But Ava had pictured it. She had pictured all of it.
Beatrice, on one knee, looking up at Ava. Ava looking up at Beatrice when she proposes back. Beatrice standing at the end of the aisle framed by lavender carnations. You can now kiss your bride . Standing on a stage accepting an award for something that Ava is genuinely and deeply proud of and getting the chance to dedicate it to her wife .
And after that, too. When they are both ready to take a step away from the spotlight, maybe they will try to write their own film together. Perhaps there are new dreams, bigger dreams for them both out there.
A full life. A rich life of love and dreams fulfilled and someone to always celebrate with.
“Sorry, I don’t even know if that’s something— whatever you want, it’s not like—”
“Bea,” Ava cut her off by touching Beatrice’s cheek. “Do you want to get married someday?”
Beatrice took a deep breath and leaned into Ava’s hand. “I have pictured it, yes. But I know that was a sticking point for you in past relationships, so I need you to know that even if we never get married, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Baby, that’s not—” Ava took a deep breath and leaned towards her girlfriend. “JC and I broke up because the things he wanted came at the cost of what I wanted. Not because he wanted to get married, and I didn’t.”
“I would never ask you to give up on your dreams for me,” Beatrice insisted.
“ I know. ” That was one of the very first things Ava learned about Beatrice. She was always exceptionally supportive. From their first conversation to wrapping on Celeste’s studio, supporting Ava’s dreams always felt like Beatrice’s number one priority. “That’s why I want to marry you someday.”
Those beautiful brown eyes looked at Ava like she had offered Beatrice the universe. “You do?”
“Bea, of course, I do. Fuck, I can’t picture a single thing in my future that doesn’t include your hand in mine.”
Beatrice’s face split into the broadest smile Ava had ever seen on the woman. Ava couldn’t stop herself from mirroring it if she had tried. “Eat this,” Beatrice chuckled as she lifted the scoop of ice cream in Ava’s direction again.
This time, Ava didn’t resist. She leaned forward and took the spoon into her mouth, letting the ice cream melt over her tongue. If Ava was honest, she had never particularly liked mint chocolate chip ice cream. There was nothing wrong with it, and she certainly would never complain about eating it— it was Beatrice’s favorite, after all. But this bite of ice cream?
A bite that means so much more than a silly game. A bite that came with the shared hope for the future. It was the best spoonful of ice cream that Ava had ever tasted. Beatrice audibly gasped as the spoon slipped from Ava’s lips.
“I love you so much,” Ava whispered— hopeful that speaking wouldn’t break the moment and wipe that awestruck expression from Beatrice’s face.
Instead, Beatrice’s face only intensified. She leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Ava knew that when Beatrice softly licked inside her lips, the taste of that perfect bite of ice cream still lingered between them.
The empty pint tipped over on the bed, and neither cared to pull away to stop the spoon from staining their sheets. In fact, Beatrice brought both her hands up to cup Ava’s cheeks and only kissed her harder.
Ava let herself get lost in it until the only thing that existed was Beatrice’s warm mouth against hers. The end of this moment in time might be coming. But the only thing that mattered right now was running head-first into loving Bea.
“Ava,” Beatrice mumbled against her lips.
Ava hummed and pulled Beatrice’s lower lip into her mouth. Beatrice sighed before reluctantly pulling away to look into her eyes.
The haze lifted slightly from Ava’s mind when she saw small tears dotting Beatrice’s eyelashes. “Bea?”
“I promise.”
“You promise…?” Ava would bet her entire life on Beatrice keeping her promises, but Ava had no idea what this particular one referred to.
With a deep breath and the gentle caress of her thumb over Ava’s cheek, Beatrice spoke again. “I promise that one day you will feed me the last bite of ice cream.”
Was that a promise that Beatrice would propose? “Are you—”
“Beatrice Silva. I want to be Beatrice Silva. I want the entire world to know that you’re my wife, and I want a last name that I’m proud of, and I promise I will marry you one day.” The words tumbled out of Beatrice faster than Ava had ever heard her speak. It was evident that Beatrice hadn’t planned to say any of that. She didn’t think for a second before the words left her mouth, and now that they were out there— Bea didn’t even look like she regretted the admission.
“You want…” Ava was struggling to process the weight of everything Beatrice had just shared. “My last name?”
“Why the fuck would we take mine?”
Oh, Ava Silva was going to marry this girl. She had never been more sure of anything in her entire fucking existence. “You have never once broken a promise to me,” Ava pointed out.
“And I never intend to. This promise, I mean most of all.”
“Beatrice Silva…” Ava breathed. It felt perfect in her mouth. It felt as if her mouth was made to say that name. Maybe it was. “It’s perfect.”
The actress surged forward and took Ava’s bottom lip between hers. “Take me to bed, Ava Silva,” Beatrice moaned.
And who was Ava to deny her? She threw the empty carton of ice cream to the floor and pushed Beatrice backward onto the bed.
~
When the next morning rolled around, Ava and Beatrice got ready slowly. They had both woken up before their alarms and laid in bed for as long as possible. Beatrice gently massaged her fingers through Ava’s hair while Ava softly counted the freckles on her lover’s face. She got to 67 by the time they had to get up. It was the most Ava had ever counted.
Finally, their suitcases were fully packed, and all the things they couldn’t take with them had been carefully cleaned up and thrown away just as the sun poked over the horizon.
Ava was grateful that she had the foresight to only get one bouquet of lavenders in the order for yesterday because Beatrice struggled to clean up any of the flowers. The tight grip she kept on the single lavender bouquet (as if Ava would have ever touched them without her permission) while the rest were gathered up told Ava everything she needed to know.
Those flowers were coming with them to Ireland, even if they would barely survive a few more days.
When they only had five minutes before meeting everyone back down in the lobby, Ava caught Beatrice flexing and unflexing her hands as she tried not to cry.
“Hey,” Ava whispered as she stepped into her girlfriend’s space and held out her hands. Beatrice took them both without a word and interlaced their fingers. “I know. I don’t want to leave either.” Ava’s voice broke at the end as tears threatened to spill over.
“What if we just didn’t?” Beatrice’s voice trembled.
“We both love this movie too much to give up on it now,” Ava chuckled, even as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Beatrice was softly crying now as she nodded in agreement. “Too many new memories to make.”
Ava opened her mouth to speak, but she didn’t know what to say. What if she didn’t want new memories?
Somehow, this felt harder than some of their very worst days. For two months now, this room was where they both ran to when everything got too scary. This was the hotel room where everything worked out.
This was the bed where they could speak their biggest fears without judgment. This was the space where they could both break and somehow end up mended the following day. How were they supposed to just leave like it was just some random hotel room?
“Ava,” Beatrice whispered to pull her from her thoughts.
Her lungs felt too small all of a sudden. “I’m sor—”
“Don’t apologize. Just breathe, darling,” Beatrice insisted. She took an exaggerated breath as an example for Ava to follow.
And Ava did her best, sincerely, but every second that she tried to breathe was another second closer to losing all of this, and the weight was hitting her faster than she could fill her lungs. “Bea—” Ava tried to explain herself.
“Hey, I need you to just focus on me right now,” Beatrice requested as she walked them backward until Ava’s legs hit the bed, and she dropped down. Bea kneeled in front of Ava. “Just take a deep breath, my love. It will help you feel better, I promise.”
Beatrice doesn’t break her promises. This time, Ava fought the urge to take short, staggering breaths and matched her girlfriend’s exaggerated inhales.
It did help Ava feel better. The haze lifted slightly, and she could focus on those dazzling brown eyes. Beatrice was still crying, and Ava was still holding tightly to both of her hands.
“Okay?” Beatrice asked quietly when she realized Ava’s focus had returned.
Ava took another deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”
“Can I say something that will make me sound like a hypocrite, but I promise it didn’t click until now?” Beatrice chuckled thickly.
Ava couldn’t help but laugh as well. She was pretty sure that she might have realized the same thing. “Go ahead,” Ava sighed as a gentle smile pulled on her lips.
“It was never about the room, huh? Everything worked out because it was us together.”
She was right. Their fears were smaller because they were holding each other. Their wins were bigger because they were celebrating together. The memories meant more because they were based on this beautiful love story they shared.
“Us, together,” Ava repeated. “Forever and ever and always.”
Beatrice leaned forward and gently, oh so gently, pressed her lips to Ava’s. It was a tenderness that Ava had only experienced from this girl. All Ava could do was breathe in every ounce of love Beatrice was trying to give her. Ava hoped that Beatrice felt all the warmth back.
A few moments later, Beatrice gently pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. “I love you. Forever and ever and always, Ava Silva. Let’s go make some more memories together .”
Ava gave Beatrice another quick kiss. “I love you. Forever and ever and always.”
Hand in hand, Beatrice and Ava stood quietly and gathered their bags. Hand in hand, Ava pressed one last kiss to Beatrice’s temple before she opened the door and walked them out into the hallway. Hand in hand, that door closed slowly behind them, and they took one step toward their future together.
And Beatrice didn’t let go of Ava once. Not on the walk to the hotel lobby to meet their friends. Not on the walk through the parking garage. Not on the drive to the airport. Not as they boarded the jet and settled into their seats.
Seriously, Ava thought Beatrice would have held her hand the entire trip from Atlanta to Ireland if it had been possible. None of their friends said anything. They didn’t even get so much as an annoyed glance from Lilith. All Ava got was a supportive nod from Mary and a gentle shoulder squeeze from Shannon.
It was as if they knew, somehow. As if they knew that Ava and Beatrice had made a commitment to a future full of beautiful memories. As if their friends knew that they were both leaving Atlanta wholly different and infinitely better than when they arrived.
No one pushed or tried to engage either of them in conversation. Their friends just let Ava and Beatrice quietly cling to each other. Less than two hours into the flight, Ava fell asleep watching Beatrice play solitaire on her phone. Ava’s head rested on Bea’s shoulder, tightly holding Beatrice’s arm with both of hers.
Beatrice must have fallen asleep sometime later because Ava woke to the feeling of Mary gently shaking her.
“Kid, we’re about to land,” Mary chuckled when Ava looked around, dazed and half-awake. Had they slept through the entire flight? That wasn’t going to be good for jet lag. “Can you wake her?” Mary nodded toward Beatrice.
Ava glanced over to find her girlfriend fast asleep, head tilted against the window. She must have been exhausted to have slept through the entire flight because Ava knew Beatrice wasn’t a heavy sleeper.
“Uh, yeah,” Ava mumbled, voice thick from sleep. “What’s the plan?” Ava stretched her body, sore from sleeping in that position for so long.
“Production has a car waiting for us on the tarmac to drive us to the hotel,” Mary explained. “It’s about an hour away, so it will be pretty late when we arrive.”
“So my sleep schedule is fucked. Is that what you’re telling me?” Ava laughed.
Mary rolled her eyes with a smirk. “I recommended we wake you, but your girlfriend wouldn’t let me.”
“And then she fell asleep, and here we are?” Ava guessed.
“You got it, kid. I already knew she was in love with you, but… wow,” Mary smirked as she stood and walked away. Ava wasn’t sure what specifically Mary was referring to— maybe it was all of it— but Ava’s heart skipped a beat all the same.
She reached over and traced her finger over Beatrice’s freckles. With a groan, Bea’s eyes fluttered open, searching for the source of the touch. She sighed with a soft smile when her eyes fell on Ava.
“Welcome to Ireland, my love,” Ava whispered.
Beatrice tilted her head, and that sleepy lovesick expression made Ava fall in love again. “Did we sleep…”
“The entire flight,” Ava chuckled. “You didn’t let anyone wake me up?”
The actress lifted her arms above her head to stretch the sleep from her body and mumbled. “You looked too cute to wake. It’s fine. We can figure something out to do if we can’t sleep tonight.”
Ava leaned in close so no one could hear her as she whispered. “Do you think our toy has arrived yet?” She teased in a low tone. Beatrice shivered, and Ava couldn’t help but laugh as she felt the plane dip down to descend into the Dublin airport.
“That’s not supposed to get here until later this week, darling,” Beatrice mumbled bashfully.
“A girl can dream,” Ava sighed as she slumped into her chair and grabbed Beatrice’s hand.
And Ava didn’t let go of Beatrice once. Not as the plane touched down on the tarmac in Ireland. Not as they handed their passports and work visas to the customs agent that came on board to confirm their arrival. Not as they packed their bags into the trunk of the car production sent for them. Not as they drove through this new country, rain softly hitting the car.
Ava didn’t let go until they made it into their suite, and they both began unpacking. There was less security at this hotel, but there was also a lower risk of paparazzi now that they weren’t in a significant filming city. It also meant that Mary, Shannon, Yasmine, and Lilith were just down the hall from them instead of several floors below. Ava felt happier knowing her family was close by.
Beatrice was more efficient in unpacking and tucked her clothes into the dresser long before Ava opened her suitcase. The bouquet of lavender carnations were set on Beatrice’s bedside table.
Their new room was homier than the one in Atlanta. A single king-sized bed with heavy down blankets and more pillows than they would ever use took up one wall. A sitting area with a plush green couch facing a set of windows overlooking the city took up another. The bathroom featured a porcelain claw-foot tub larger than the one they had shared back in Atlanta.
Add a few more pieces of well-made dark wooden furniture about the space, and this was their new home. Ava liked it (it was too soon to say she loved it), and maybe making new memories could be as easy here as it was there.
Beatrice seemed to enjoy the view, rain slowing to a stop this late summer night, because she stood and stared out the window while Ava continued unpacking.
With her back to Ava, looking off into the distance, Beatrice called out from across the room. “Are you tired, darling?”
“Considering we slept the entire flight,” Ava shoved the last of her clothes in the drawer and stood up, “not really. Why?”
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Beatrice asked quietly. If the room hadn’t been silent, Ava would have certainly missed it.
Ava crossed the room, the fluffy carpet beneath her feet until she stood shoulder to shoulder with her girlfriend. She intertwined their fingers and tried to follow Beatrice’s eye line out the window. “Go on a walk to where?”
“There,” Beatrice pointed. In the distance, maybe a half-mile away, Ava noticed a single bench. It was sitting empty over a cliff, and from what Ava remembered from their drive here, there was a canal on the other side.
The rain had stopped completely now, and the moonlight reflecting off the pools of water along the street cast a beautiful silver glow across the entire view. “Are you worried it’s going to start raining again?” Ava chuckled. There were more significant concerns than rain, but it was an easy place to start.
“Scared of a little rain?” Beatrice teased as she elbowed Ava gently. “We’ll bring an umbrella.”
Walking through the rainy streets of Wicklow under a single umbrella with Bea? It sounded like a dream. “Are you worried about…” Ava trailed off before she could say it. Mary had said that the paparazzi were less prevalent here, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be someone. And who could forget that everyone had a camera in their pocket these days?
“A little,” Beatrice admitted as she filled in the blanks herself. “But you’ll be with me, and I want to walk with my girlfriend.”
“I’ll be with you,” Ava confirmed with a gentle squeeze of their hands. “We should tell Mary and Lilith, though. Just in case.”
Beatrice leaned her head down on top of Ava’s. This was one hidden benefit of being the shorter one in this relationship, Ava was finding. Beatrice could, quite literally, lean on her.
“Send a text to Mary. I’ll text Lilith, and then we can go.”
Ava fished her phone from her back pocket and sent a quick text. Going on a walk with Bea. Shouldn’t be gone longer than a few hours but letting you know just in case.
“Do you know how to get there?” Ava asked as she let go of Beatrice’s hand to find a sweatshirt. The only sweatshirt Ava wore was the one Bea gave her. She pulled it from the top of her drawer and threw it on.
Beatrice was distracted, still texting Lilith, as she mumbled. “We can figure it out.”
This was a spontaneous suggestion, Ava realized. Bea had seen the bench in the distance, asked Ava if she wanted to go to it, and then thought about the details after. The woman who called herself a mastermind, a planner, and an overthinker more times than Ava could count had made a spontaneous suggestion and didn’t take it back once she thought about the risks.
Ava had been sure she would marry Beatrice, but now, she was starting to think that even marriage wouldn’t be enough to prove how much she loved this girl.
“Ava?” Beatrice was walking towards her with a tilted head. Ava must have been lost in her thoughts for a while.
“Sorry, I just— God, I love you so much.”
“For suggesting we go on a walk?” Beatrice chuckled.
Ava stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the actress’s waist. “For suggesting we go on a walk,” Ava confirmed.
Beatrice ducked her head and pressed their lips together. When she pulled back, her face bore that wide grin she only gave to Ava. “I love you too. Let’s go before Lilith changes her mind and decides she has to come with us.”
“All you have to do is make out with me in front of her, and Lilith will leave us alone,” Ava smirked.
Beatrice interlaced their fingers and shoved an umbrella into her back pocket. “I think her protectiveness outweighs her annoyance at our…” Beatrice trailed off as she grabbed the last of her things.
“Horniness?” Ava offered.
“Yes, that,” Beatrice laughed as she opened the door. Together, they stepped out of the room.
Turns out, finding a single bench in the distance is a lot harder when you’re not a few stories up. If it hadn’t for Beatrice’s general sense of direction and Ava’s willingness to follow, they would have never made it. They only had to make a complete turnaround twice.
But, hand in hand, they walked the streets of Wicklow, happy to enjoy the foggy night air and each other’s company. Beatrice giggled when Ava made a big show of keeping Bea out of the puddles, only for Ava to jump dramatically into the water at the last second. Her shoes were soaked, but the sound of Bea’s laughter made it all worth it.
They talked about nothing and everything all at the same time. Ava had no idea how they jumped from funny memories of Ava’s time in college to restaurants Beatrice wanted to try to the stray cats Ava fed behind her high school, but it didn’t really matter. Beatrice listened to every detail, no matter how small, with such genuine curiosity that Ava felt like the most interesting person in the world.
Maybe to Bea, she was.
On their way, they passed by a few random folks walking through the streets, and much to Ava’s surprise, Beatrice didn’t even acknowledge their presence. She didn’t squeeze Ava’s hand a little tighter or duck her head away. Beatrice just kept on walking as if she wasn’t famous at all.
Eventually, they made it to that single bench on the cliffside. The sound of the waves hitting the canal walls filled the salty air around them. A heavy fog settled over the horizon in the distance. The fuzzy outline of the moon was the only thing visible past the canal.
Before Ava could sit, Beatrice used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to dry off the bench. Ava leaned on her toes to kiss Beatrice’s temple before plopping down. She wasn’t sure why it caught her attention, but when Beatrice twisted to sit beside Ava, she kicked a pebble out of place. Ava leaned down to pick it up before settling on the bench again.
“What’s that?” Beatrice asked as she wrapped one arm over Ava’s shoulders.
Ava pulled her feet up to hug her knees and tilted her head onto Beatrice’s shoulder. “A pebble,” Ava explained as she lifted it for Bea to see it too. It was as tiny as a firefly, and Ava felt her girlfriend squint her tired eyes to take in all the details.
“Kind of looks like a heart.” Beatrice traced an outline of a heart with her pinky in the air next to where Ava was holding the small gray stone.
It did. Now that Beatrice had mentioned it, Ava couldn’t see anything besides a tiny heart in her fingers. “For you,” Ava brought it closer for Beatrice to take the pebble.
“I promise to cherish it forever,” Beatrice smiled as she took the rock from Ava’s fingers.
If anyone else had said that about some random pebble Ava picked up in July, she would have thought they were mocking her. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was Beatrice— Beatrice making a promise. So, when she tucked it down deep inside her pocket, Ava knew Beatrice was telling the truth.
“Do you think it will ever miss Wicklow sometimes?” Ava whispered when she felt Beatrice’s head lean down to rest on top of hers.
The sound of water splashing and summertime bugs buzzing filled the air when Beatrice didn’t answer immediately. Ava was content to wait. She reached over for Beatrice’s other hand and started tracing the lines of her palm. Ava felt a few drops of rain hit her shoulder. Neither of them cared.
“Probably,” Beatrice sighed. “But it will always have the memories, and that will be enough because there are new memories to be made.” Ava couldn’t help but smile.
If anyone asked Ava how she knew everything would work out, she would tell the truth and say, “because I am with the love of my life.” Bea was her soulmate.
If anyone asked Ava why she knew Beatrice was her soulmate, she would tell the truth and say, “because I’ve only felt this kind of peace when I’m with her.” Ava felt complete.
If anyone asked Ava about what she expects to do in her future, she would tell the truth and say, “everything, as long as she’s by my side.” She would always achieve her dreams with Beatrice’s support.
If anyone asked Ava which name she was most excited to see next to hers for the rest of their life, she would tell the truth and say, “the name is the best part.” It was Beatrice Silva.