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Rey stood at the helm of the command center of a desolate Star Destroyer overlooking the vast swaths of hundreds of decommissioned and abandoned ships. The large floor-to-ceiling transparisteel windows had been blown out long ago, allowing her to feel the biting chill of the wind, the loose hair not tied up in a series of three knots whipping around her face. Her lightsaber was hidden carefully on her belt under her poncho and a bag of tools lay haphazardly on the floor beside her feet.
Bundles of stripped wires hung from the busted vents and jutted out through broken consoles stationed along the walls and throughout the deck. Panels had been ripped apart for their circuit boards, leaving nothing but hollowed-out metal shells. A thick layer of dirt and grime covered every clunky, multicolored button of the expansive computer terminals. This particular vessel had been picked over earlier in the week, so she knew that no one would disturb her.
Dusk was approaching, the lowering sun throwing bursts of reds and oranges throughout the smoke-filled sky. Far off in the distance, she could see small lights flashing over the illuminated platforms that were filled with workers tending to the mountains of debris, overshadowed by their heavily armed overlords.
This seemingly endless graveyard of ships and durasteel reminded her too much of Jakku, just with less sand. Though this place was overflowing with more opportunities for survival, it was riddled with corruption so severe that it was barely above slavery for the employees that worked here. The ever-present scavenger in her celebrated the idea of rummaging through the neglected and forgotten bones of war, but she refrained. She was here for a different matter.
General Organa had ordered Dross Squadron to the Mid Rim junkyard world known as Bracca to salvage what they could of their ships. The First Order was sending all captured starfighters to this dreary planet to either be destroyed or retrofitted to suit their needs. The team all had to disguise themselves as Riggers or Hazmats in order to infiltrate the Scrapper Guild that controlled the planet.
The leader of Dross Squadron, Shriv Suurgav, had an inside man that relayed vital information to the Resistance, giving them the chance to gain access to a treasure trove of ships. After the disastrous Battle of Crait, they needed all the help they could get.
When she had heard of the assignment, she eagerly volunteered to assist, convincing the General that her previous experience in salvaging would be vital to the mission. Rey wasn’t one to wait in the safety of the base, much to Leia’s vexation. She craved the freedom to travel the galaxy for any reason, even for a meager supply run.
Having spent her entire life essentially trapped on Jakku, staying in one place for too long made her feel restless. In her isolation, she had constant daydreams of having her own ship and flying across the stars to worlds unknown. Leia had given her a knowing smile and a gentle hand on her shoulder when Rey explained her reasoning for volunteering for every mission. The young woman knew that her Jedi studies were critical, but she couldn’t pass up the chance to visit other planets, no matter how drab and dangerous they were.
Rey had managed to sneak off and find a path up to this empty cruiser, far away from the watchful eyes of the guild. She prided herself on being quite crafty, able to avoid their patrols and slipping past their checkpoints undetected. Salvaging was something she was familiar with and she preferred to go at it alone.
Or at least, that’s the excuse she gave the team when she told them she was going off on her own.
Unbeknownst to her friends, she had an ulterior motive for separating from the rest of the group…
Without warning, she tensed up and her heart was struck with ice as she felt a dramatic shift in the air, a static pull against her senses that caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end. A roiling surge of energy accompanied by a compelling and all too familiar creature was quickly nearing her position.
Heavy footsteps then echoed against the decaying metal at a brisk pace. Her heart picked up speed as they became louder and louder. She instinctively reached down to grasp at the hilt of her lightsaber, the weapon humming at her touch and soothing her nerves with its reassurance. The intruder entered the threshold of the open door and stepped onto the bridge, coming closer before stopping completely only ten feet away.
He was here. Deep breaths, Rey.
Inhaling through her nose and exhaling slowly out of her mouth, Rey swiveled her head to peek over her shoulder, finding black, lifeless eyes surrounded by the smooth chrome lines of his recently repaired helmet staring frigidly back at her. She swallowed and turned fully to face him, her shadow casting a shroud of darkness around the imposing figure of the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.
A fissure of trepidation rippled through her but she steeled herself in the overwhelming presence of her greatest adversary. His Force signature consumed the space of the entire bridge, filling the room with its potency. She stood straight with her shoulders back and chin up, fortifying her mental barriers against him.
The deafening silence hanging between them was overpowered by the bond sizzling with energy at having them be in such close proximity. It became difficult to concentrate as she felt him brush against her shields intimately. He was wordlessly asking permission for entry into her mind, making her a bit lightheaded. She briefly wondered if that chaotic energy was emanating from him, or her.
Denying his request, for now, she scrutinized his body. He was dressed in his usual attire. Black boots, trousers, and gambeson along with his tattered cowl. His saber was hooked onto his belt, the crossguard hilt laying motionless against his thigh. His gloved hands were clenched into fists, the Dark side of the Force swirling around him in a maelstrom of hatred and raw power.
If she were anyone else, she would have been dead already.
“Scavenger.”
Rey barely resisted the urge to jump out of her skin at the sudden metallic, flat tone of his modulated voice. It never failed to send a slight shiver up her spine, and not just in fear.
She held her chin up higher, answering his greeting with the same level of impassiveness, “Supreme Leader.”
They could not be more different from each other on the surface. He was the brutal, totalitarian leader of a fascist military fixated on galactic domination while she was the rebellious meddler determined to discover the kinks in his armor and exploit them in order to take him down. They were two radically different people on opposite sides of a war intent on destroying one another no matter the cost.
So why then, with their goals being lightyears apart and their clear disdain for all that the other represents, would she ever agree to meet with him alone?
Well, she didn’t agree to meet with Kylo Ren. She had agreed to meet with Ben Solo.
And this was not the first time.
After she had rescued the remaining of the Resistance from Crait, she had been desperate to get as far away from the new Supreme Leader as she could. With the death of Snoke, she had thought that the bridge between their minds would have collapsed, but that was not what happened. If anything, it had grown stronger and more magnetically charged. It was fueled by the intensity of their emotions which were so severe and volatile that neither one of them could differentiate who was projecting across the tether.
They had both been so angry with each other in the beginning. He was furious at her for abandoning him and refusing his offer and she was heartbroken that he had chosen to continue to pursue the same ideals as his dead master. Heated and cruel words were exchanged from both sides, hurling insults and contempt until they were both hoarse. In a fit of fury unbecoming of a Jedi, she had slammed the door of the bond on him, reinforcing it and refusing to acknowledge his presence any longer. She could still feel his emotions, but they had been muted, like indistinct murmuring that barely registered.
No matter how hard she tried, though, she could not break that pesky link between them completely. She could only keep herself closed off, but she had sensed him prowling around the outskirts of her consciousness, demanding to be let back in, his agitation fuming with every knock that went ignored. It had been like an itch that she couldn't quite scratch, a minor annoyance that steadily grew to unbearable levels.
And yet, when bursts of profound loneliness drifted across their bond, she had to tamp down on the powerful urge to comfort him. She found herself thinking about him more than she would care to admit. It had been nearly impossible not to let her mind wander off when she was alone in her room at night, images of his face as he pleaded with her to join him, of the way he looked at her as they touched hands across the stars, with a hunger that bordered on feral. It never failed to send a flush to her cheeks and for warmth to pool in her belly. How he had this uncanny ability to make her feel anything other than resentment toward him truly astounded her.
Ben had a frustrating habit of distracting her during her training and Jedi studies and she was fairly certain that he did it on purpose. It all came to a boiling point one day after a grueling set of trials and failed meditations. Rey had been exhausted from running the same course again and again, never getting it perfect. Leia had been a wonderful teacher but it was obvious that she was not as knowledgeable as Master Luke, so Rey had to push herself harder and harder each day to make up for that lack of proper training.
On her last attempt to run the trail that was full of various hazards and tests, she had felt him at the edges of her mind again. He strummed the thread of their bond with practiced and even strokes, the low vibrations rattling her brain. Her hands had lifted to squeeze the sides of her head with an irritated growl.
She couldn't take it anymore. She had had enough of his meddling antics that were driving her insane.
Rey had whirled around, kicked open the door of their connection, and screamed at him, baring her teeth like a feral loth-cat with eyes wild and furious. She berated him for harassing her and never leaving her alone. He had laughed at her exasperation, excited that he was finally getting a reaction out of her. She had played right into his hands and that had made her seethe with unbridled rage.
In an attempt to regain some semblance of dignity, she had challenged him, rather foolishly, to stop skulking around the fringes of her mind like a coward and to meet her on Takodana where they had first met for a duel. Why she chose that particular location she still didn’t know. It was the first place that popped into her head that held any significance to either of them.
His quick acceptance of that challenge had momentarily cooled her anger. She had been determined to show him just how powerful she had become and to punish him for stalking her. She had beaten him before and she had been certain she could do it again. Though, retrospectively, she should have been more concerned with how eagerly he had agreed.
Few words were said between them when she had confronted him on that forest planet before she ignited her saber and struck. Her attacks were vicious and undisciplined, but Ben blocked and deflected every single blow with controlled ease. The line between Light and Dark became blurred as they battled until he ultimately disarmed her, winning their duel, and held her up against a tree with his body, caging her in his arms.
Unable to see a way out of her predicament, Rey had done the only thing she had wanted to do since their hands touched on Ahch-To. She had surged forward and kissed him.
From the moment that his lips touched hers, they were lost to each other. They had made love with all of the uninhibited passion that was expected of a Dark sider like him and unbefitting of a Jedi-in-training like her.
Afterward, a part of her had been so ashamed of what she had done, racked with guilt for betraying her friends. Especially Finn. He would be disgusted and furious with her if he ever found out that she had slept with the enemy and not only enjoyed it but continued to do so again and again.
Eventually, though, as she slowly began to realize that nothing would absolve her of the atrocities she was committing, she became incapable of feeling any remorse. Ben was an addiction that she craved like a drug. The more she gave in to that desire, the stronger their bond grew, and the urge to be with him surpassed everything else. And that terrified her.
She was losing herself to him, and that fact was what brought her here, to Bracca. There was something she needed to tell him, a decision that she had come to that he was not going to appreciate.
Returning to the present, she watched with bated breath as he lifted his hands and pressed a button on the side of his helmet, the hatches hissing as the air depressurized. He grabbed it and pulled it off his head, his ebony, shoulder-length hair falling feathery light against his temples.
How he was able to have perfect, fluffy hair after it had been confined in a helmet like that for who knows how long was beyond her comprehension. He placed it on the decrepit console next to him, the impact of metal on metal making a loud thud. It was heavier than it looked.
Without his intimidating, crimson-etched helm, her hardened gaze immediately softened as she took in the pale, noble face of the man who had consumed her every waking moment for the past six months. She examined his handsome features worthy of a prince, running her attention over the prominent aquiline nose down to his full, plush lips and sliding up to the fathomless depths of his intense, dark eyes shadowed by a prominent brow. He was truly striking. Was it getting warmer or was it just her? She was suddenly finding it difficult to breathe like some force was constricting her ribs.
Rey spotted the gnarled scar running down from his left eye into the collar of his cowl that she had bestowed upon him on Starkiller Base. Seeing that old wound never failed to send a subtle pang of guilt through her. Though to be fair, she was trying to kill him due to him being nothing more than a murderous monster at the time. That feels like so long ago, she mused, so much has changed since then.
To an outsider, they stared at one another with calm and measured appearances, but on the inside, they were screaming for each other. He remained still, allowing her the freedom to choose when to let the facade of being mortal enemies fall. She appreciated his chivalry. It was something that had surprised her as they were exploring their newly found relationship.
Underneath the dangerous and malicious mask of the Supreme Leader was a man who was gentle, understanding, and decent. There was a good man buried beneath all that hatred and agony, the Light still lingering somewhere deep in his soul, no matter how vehemently he tried to deny it. She often wondered how he would have turned out had it not been for Luke’s betrayal and Snoke’s dark influence poisoning his mind from the very beginning. It saddened her to think what he could have been. What they could have been…
Shaking away those distressing thoughts, she took the first steps toward him as he kept his gaze locked onto hers. He watched her keenly as she felt a wisp of uncertainty woven with desire penetrate her mind. It took a tremendous amount of effort to not throw herself into his arms, to hold him close and feel his skin against hers again. Every step was heavy as if blocks of durasteel were weighing her down, but she was compelled to move forward, closing the distance between them until she stood before him at arm's length.
Her breaths became shallow as their bond vibrated with barely contained excitement, the Force thrumming around them. She searched his face, biting her bottom lip and his dark, piercing eyes flicked down to focus in on the gesture, his pupils widening slightly. Warmth rose on her cheeks as his attention snapped back to her gaze. With eyebrows raised and a hopeful smile, she looked up at him earnestly with a soft whisper of his true name, “Ben?”
The corners of his lips turned up as he slowly blinked, the ice surrounding her heart melting at the sight. The Dark began to recede, allowing him to be who he was before he took on the persona of the master of the Knights of Ren. She grinned up at him, finally lowering her mental barriers and letting her emotions flood through him fully. His eyes fluttered at the onslaught and he, in turn, did the same, sending a tidal wave back through the bond into her. Her knees felt weak as she absorbed all that he was feeling. Peace, contentment, vulnerability, and possessiveness.
But above all else... lust.
His smile faded quickly as his gaze flicked rapidly from her eyes to her lips and back again. A flush of heat swept down her body, settling low in her abdomen. He lifted his arms and tenderly cradled her head in his gloved hands, tipping her up to face him. Without any precursor, he dipped forward and captured her mouth in a bruising, passionate kiss.
Rey let out a needy moan, slanting her mouth against his lips. They were soft and malleable, moving over hers in frantic desperation. He licked at the seam of her mouth, probing for entry. She opened to him eagerly, letting his tongue slide inside to roll with her own, the taste of him heady and all-consuming. She grabbed the back of his neck, carding her fingers through his luscious hair and gripping onto the strands.
Without breaking the kiss, Ben slid his hands boldly down over her breasts, squeezing them gently, and her nipples hardened under his scorching touch. He continued trailing down her body into the dip of her waist and around her curves to palm at her rear. He yanked her toward him, pushing his pelvis into hers. Even through the many layers of fabric, she could still feel his growing erection, and a flood of wetness pooled between her legs.
She bit at his lower lip, making him groan at the slight sting. The pain amplified his arousal as he moved his hands back up to grab at her waist again, crushing her body to his, and stealing the breath from her lungs. Rey skimmed her fingers over his chest, feeling the hard, wiry muscles of his pectorals. She laid her palm flat against him, feeling his heart beat rapidly, in synch with her own.
Their surroundings bent and blurred until all that was left was their intimate embrace, the flux and flow of the Force swirling in a vortex of energy around them in a cascade of desire. She was drowning in him, in his presence, in his kiss, and in his love. Their bond felt so visceral and solid and real and so right .
He broke the kiss, pulling back and leaving both of them panting. His lips were red and swollen, and she was certain hers didn’t fair much better. Ben leaned his forehead against hers, nudging her nose with his. He took her face between his hands again, turning her head so that he could lay kisses on her cheek and down her neck. The feather-light touches of his lips on her overheated skin sent sparks directly into her core, and she squeezed her thighs together to create some friction where she needed it most.
Without warning, he bent down and grabbed the back of her legs, lifting her in the air. Rey gasped as she hooked her legs around his middle, wrapping her arms around his neck and nuzzling his temple. He turned them and placed her down on one of the nearby broken terminals, slotting himself between her open thighs to press his rigid length firmly against her core, letting her feel just how badly he wanted her.
Rey watched with hazy eyes as he bit at the tips of his black, leather gloves and ripped off the offending barrier between them, throwing them down to the floor. With renewed vigor, he captured her mouth in a frenzied kiss, more desperate than before as his bare hands slid against her skin. She ground against his cock, now fully erect underneath his clothes, making him groan in appreciation at the stimulation.
Ben’s hands roamed down to the edges of her poncho and pulled it up and off of her, picking her up and laying it beneath her. He then proceeded to unwrap his cowl from his shoulders and set it behind her where her head would fall on the console. She smiled up at him for his consideration, situating herself more comfortably.
In a move that should have concerned her, he unhooked her lightsaber from her belt. She kept her eyes firmly on his, devoid of any fear, as he freed his own saber from his hip and held the two weapons in his large hand between them. They have used these laser swords against each other multiple times, trying to kill each other in fits of rage and hatred. It was rather strange, seeing the intricately detailed hilts sit harmlessly together in the clutches of her supposed enemy. He took them and dropped them onto the floor, signifying that their opposing roles in this war were forgotten, for now.
Ben placed a gentle kiss on her lips and trailed down her neck until he reached her chest, laying light kisses along her sternum. He pulled the wraps of her top and breastband to the side easily, sucking a pert nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue over the bud, sending warm sensations down her spine. He cupped her between her legs, grinding his palm on her clit, causing her to let out a breathy moan.
Kneeling between her legs, he urgently removed her pants and boots from her body, the chill in the air hitting her wet flesh, making her shiver. Ben swallowed as he stared at her bare cunt, eyes wide in what could only be amazement as if he couldn’t quite believe that she was allowing him to see and touch such a vulnerable and intimate part of her. A blush crept up her face at his undivided attention, preening at the thought of being the only person in the galaxy that could bring the mighty Kylo Ren to his knees. She wiggled her hips to entice him out of his stupor.
Ben blinked and shook his head, having been lost in his thoughts before coming back to himself. He leaned forward and placed open-mouthed kisses up her thigh, planting love bites on her skin along the way. Once he arrived at her flushed, pink center, he went down to lick her, but she stopped him with a tap on the head and whispered, "There's no time for this, my love." She was already dripping for him, there was no need to prep her and they didn’t have long before Shriv would come looking for her.
He pressed his cheek against her thigh and looked up at her reverently with those dark, smoldering eyes like she was a goddess worth worshipping, "I have to taste you." He crooned, his voice deep and husky, his breath ghosting over her damp folds, "It's been too long."
Without breaking eye contact, Ben dragged his broad tongue up her weeping slit, erasing all forms of protest from her mind.
"Oh!” Her hips canted forward as she responded to his touch, chasing his tongue and encouraging him to feast on her. He groaned, dutifully devouring her and luxuriating in the taste of her sweet arousal.
Her mind was swimming as he sucked on her greedily, pulling her needy clit into his mouth and lashing at the pearl with ferocity, sending white-hot sparks up her body and through her limbs. His tongue slithered between her folds, stiffening the muscle to thrust into her core. Her legs began to shake as the concentrated pleasure between her thighs expanded, shooting through her pelvis in pulsing waves with every swipe of his tongue.
His enthusiasm served to fuel the raging inferno inside her, another flood of wetness seeping from her, the lewd slurping noises making her cheeks burn. She leaned back on her elbows as her fingers weaved through his hair, watching him as he swirled his tongue over every inch of her messy cunt. Rey jumped as he suddenly introduced two fingers to her center, pushing them inside and craning them up to massage at that one spot inside her that made her cry out for him.
Through the stifling cloud of lust, Rey could sense through their open connection the angry throb in his cock that mirrored the deep ache in her cunt. While she would love nothing more than for him to continue lapping at her drenched pussy like a man starved, she required more from him. She wanted him, yearned for him , to be inside her when she comes.
Her hands flew down to clutch at the collar of his tunic, yanking him up with urgency as she dug her heels into his back. She couldn’t wait anymore. She needed him to fill the empty space between her legs that only he could before she was driven mad.
Rey pressed her mouth against his in a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss, reeling at the taste of herself on his tongue. “Fuck me, Ben.” She whined against his lips, “Please.”
His eyes flared with carnal desire in response to her literally begging for him. Ben groaned as he hurriedly pulled up his tunic and yanked down his trousers, fishing out his rigid erection. He fisted his cock and lined himself up with her soaked entrance. He notched the head at her opening and began to sink smoothly inside, his mouth hung open in awe at her wet, tight heat. She hissed as she felt a twinge of discomfort as he breached her body. The burning stretch was always a bit painful in the beginning due to his large size, but it was soon replaced with blooming pleasure as he continued to slide into her until their hips were flush.
It was difficult to swallow enough air into her lungs as she adjusted to him. She felt so full of him, reaching so deep inside her, but in a way where she felt complete, like a piece of herself had been missing and was only now returned to its rightful place. He kept himself still, his arms quivering with the effort to hold himself back from hurting her. Their bond sang in triumph as she submitted herself fully to him.
She hadn't realized she had closed her eyes until she felt a rough hand press gently against her face, caressing her cheek. Rey opened them to find Ben staring at her, his gaze intense with a hint of concern, “Alright?” He asked, hunched over her.
All she could do was laugh breathlessly and nod at his tenderness, squeezing her thighs in the affirmation that it was safe to start moving.
He mirrored her joy, gracing her with one of his genuine smiles that she rarely got to witness, causing warmth to blossom in her chest at the wondrous sight. It was gone in a flash though, replaced with a fervent hunger as he began to pull out slowly, inch by inch until only the tip remained inside her. Your impatience is showing , she wanted to tease, but she refrained. She wasn’t feeling especially patient either.
She only had a moment's respite before he pushed back in, faster this time. He repeated the motion, and started up a gentle pace, gliding in and out of her with measured strokes. He leaned down to kiss her and she drank him in eagerly, molding her lips against his and moaning into his mouth. With every buck of his hips, wave after pulsing wave was sent through her body and penetrated her consciousness, clouding her thoughts so that she could think of nothing but the man moving between her thighs.
He let one hand roam her body as the other kept himself propped up above her, squeezing her exposed breast and tweaking the hardened nipple between his fingers. She gasped at the jolt of sensation, squirming underneath him. His hand then traveled to her thigh, hiking her leg up higher so that he could push deeper into her.
Her eyes rolled back as his thrusts became more forceful, the different angle letting him hit a particularly sensitive spot over and over again. The pressure in her cunt radiated up her spine, signaling that she was already so close to that edge. Rey tangled her fingers in his ebony hair which was now completely disheveled, his alabaster skin covered in a fine sheen of sweat. She held onto him, keeping her gaze fixed on his as he took her, the feral heat in his eyes nearly scalding.
“I won’t last.” He warned, his rhythm picking up speed as he gripped onto her waist with both hands, yanking her into his savage thrusts, knocking the air out of her.
“Me either.” She rolled her hips in tandem with his, chasing the high that they both craved.
The feedback loop of desire in their bond was intoxicating, further perpetuating the building orgasm in her core. The lewd sounds of their bodies slapping together rang in her ears, setting her skin ablaze. Her blood ran hot in her veins, a wanton moan leaving her throat as she teetered on the edge of oblivion.
“Gonna come…” He grunted, snaking a hand between their bodies and finding her neglected clit. "Need you to come, sweetheart." She whined at his encouragement as he used two fingers to roughly swipe across the slippery, swollen nub back and forth vigorously. Her breath grew faster, unable to suck in enough air as her body was pushed higher and higher until she shattered into pieces.
The concentrated coil of pleasure that had wound tightly within her snapped, hurtling her into the stars. She arched her back with a blissful cry as torrents of ecstasy rolled through her trembling body, her chest heaving as her legs shook, her walls spasming and fluttering around his thick shaft.
"That's it," He growled, fucking her through her climax as a surge of wetness gushed out around his cock, "That's my good girl."
Rey purred at his praise, writhing beneath the onslaught of his thrusts in her over-sensitive cunt. She was exhausted but she mustered the strength to lift up onto her forearms and reached out to him, grabbing the back of his neck and forcing him closer. His eyes were blown wide and primal, enraptured by the pleasure he had brought her. She could feel the mounting pressure in his abdomen ready to explode at any moment. “Inside me, Ben." She pleaded with a hitch to her voice.
He let out a sharp exhale at her risky demand but kept his gaze focused on her as he snapped his hips roughly once, twice, and then buried himself inside her to the hilt, coming with a guttural groan that vibrated his chest. His cock stiffened and then throbbed hard within her as he pumped into her lazily, shuddering as he ensured every drop was spent. She mewled at the sensations of his hot release filling her, experiencing the force of his orgasm echoing through their bond and prolonging their shared euphoria.
The tension in his body melted away as his muscles relaxed and loosened. Ben slumped forward to rest his head on her chest, panting heavily. Her body felt heavy and sluggish. She held him to her, curling around him and carding her fingers through his matted hair. He hummed in contentment as her nails scratched lightly along his scalp, basking in the aftermath of their rigorous lovemaking.
The brisk air was saturated with the musky smell of sex, settling on her exposed skin. He peppered gentle kisses on her breast as the bond hummed in satisfied delight at their coupling, overflowing with love and belonging. She desperately wanted to remain here like this, wrapped around each other as if there was nothing else that mattered in the galaxy.
But, as the haze of lust began to fade, Rey was reminded of why she was here. This fantasy that they had created for themselves had already gone on long enough. She just wanted to feel him inside of her again, one last time…
She clenched her eyes shut, burying her nose into his hair as her arms and legs tightened around him. He softened and slipped out of her and she sighed at the dreadful, empty feeling, their combined fluids leaking out of her and onto her poncho. She breathed in deeply, burning his scent into her memory. Her misery could not be contained, inadvertently draining the emotion across their tether.
She knew the moment he sensed her unease as he pulled his head back to face her, his brows knitted in a concerned frown, “What is it, sweetheart?” He asked quietly, “I feel…” His dark eyes shifted over her features with uncertainty, “Despair.”
Her breath hitched as the tear she had been trying to keep at bay slid down her cheek. He watched as it fell and then snapped his attention back to her. A sharp pang of regret shot through her, the words catching in her throat. Come on Rey, you can do this.
She gently pushed upright into a sitting position with him still trapped between her legs. He waited as she built up her courage and steadied herself, "We can't keep doing this.”
Ben blinked in rapid succession as if not fully comprehending what she had said. A swell of anxiety flared from his side of the bond and traveled into her, making her chest uncomfortably tight. He shook his head and cradled her face in his large, rough hands, “We can.” He insisted, forcing her to look at him. The intensity of his soulful gaze stopped any forms of dissent from escaping from her throat, “There is a way for us to be together. You know what you have to do.” His eyes, now wild with panic at what she was insinuating, flicked back and forth between hers frantically, “Be with me. Please, Rey.”
His words, which were filled with unbridled fear, sliced deep into her soul. She wanted so desperately to believe in him, to take his hand and run away from it all. To accept his offer to rule together and create a new and peaceful order for the galaxy. The Light in her was slowly being corrupted by his darkness.
His Shadow beckoned to her, tempting her with its sweet promises of forever with the man she loved most in the galaxy. She was finding it more difficult to say no to him every time she walked away. She had to put a stop to this before it was too late, before she allowed herself to succumb to his seduction, no matter how much it hurt to turn her back on him.
She gripped his thick, black tunic tightly in one hand as she tangled the fingers of her other into the damp hair at the nape of his neck. Her tears now flowed freely down her face. Rey licked her lips and brought his forehead down to press against hers, “Come home.” She begged barely above a whisper, painfully speaking around the lump caught in her throat. She knew that there was a slim chance that he would ever turn away from the Dark, but that stubborn spirit of hers refused to believe that Ben was beyond redemption, that he was past saving.
His jaw started to tremble as his own eyes glistened. Their connection was flooded with gnawing grief that left them both paralyzed. The crushing weight of his gaze, brimming with misery and regret, sent her tumbling down a hole so deep she would never be able to crawl her way out. He rubbed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away another tear before he sighed, resigned, “I can’t.”
Rey let out a soft, pitiful cry and her head fell forward to rest against his chest, the burning ache in her heart too much for her to bear. She wept quietly as he wrapped his arms around her trembling shoulders and placed his head on top of hers, clinging to her just as tightly. His rejection should not have surprised her but damn it all, it was still excruciating.
She sniffed and mumbled into his tunic that was now soaked with her sorrow, “Then you already know my answer.”
Ben stiffened, pulling her away from him to capture her eyes, “So that’s it then, is it?” He asked accusingly.
“I love you," And by the Force , she meant it with every fiber of her being, "but I can't keep doing this.” He squeezed his eyes together with a sharp exhale of breath as if she had just stabbed him through the heart with her lightsaber. “You have gone down a path I can’t follow,” She leaned up to lay a gentle kiss on his full lips, one he did not reciprocate. That hurt. “No matter how much I want to.”
He opened his eyes and laid his forehead against her once again, his features twisted in agony and steadily rising anger. “I told you before. If this is all that you will allow me to have of you, then I will take it. But do not close yourself off from me. Not again.”
Rey yanked her head back to scowl at him, "Are you even listening?” She snapped, “I can't take this anymore!” Her brows narrowed as she pursed her lips. The constant sneaking around, the disturbing absence of shame, and the web of lies she had spun to justify her actions were taking its toll on her, “It destroys me a little more each time I have to leave you and I don't have the strength to do it again."
"Then don't!" She flinched at the sudden rise in the volume of his voice. He grabbed her hands and held them between their bodies, squeezing her fingers, "Let go of all of it. Stay with me. You said to me once, that I wasn’t alone. Do you still mean that?"
Of course! She wanted to scream. How could he say that? She had been risking everything to be with him. He couldn’t possibly expect her to abandon her convictions if he wasn’t willing to do the same. The precariousness of their situation could not be ignored forever. They would both have to face the stark and cruel reality that this secret affair would end in tragedy for either one or both of them. It was only a matter of time.
When she had agreed to meet with him here, she had fully planned on this being the last time. She had everything ready, from what she would say to how she would rebuke every argument he would throw at her, but those preparations were slowly fading away, leaving her speechless. He made her feel weak and powerful, confident yet insecure, joyful but miserable.
Though above all else, he made her feel loved.
She opened her mouth to respond, to say anything really, but was cut off when her comm crackled to life, “Rey, come in.”
The tense moment between them shattered, that crushing reality tumbling down around them. Damn it. That’s right. The mission. She had forgotten completely. How long had they been up here?
He kept her attention locked onto his before turning away with an indignant huff. He respectfully stepped back from her and proceeded to adjust his clothes. Rey gathered her composure, burying her feelings, and pushed the button on her comlink bracelet, steadying her voice, “Go ahead, Shriv.”
“We've found something, you might want to take a look at this.”
Her eyes flicked to Ben, but he was staring at the floor, his expression now blank and unreadable though she could feel his apprehension, confusion, and the biting sting of betrayal.
“I’m on my way.”
Rey hopped down from the console and dressed, grimacing at the fluid that leaked down her thighs. She grabbed her lightsaber and hooked it onto her belt, feeling more at ease with the weapon attached to her. The hefty silence between them grew insufferable. There was still so much more she wanted to say, so much that she needed him to know, but there wasn’t enough time. There would never be enough time. Once she was decent, she faced him and said, mournfully, “I have to go.”
He whirled around and grabbed her wrist painfully, making her yelp in surprise at his sudden movements, "No.” He snarled, his eyes now alight and fuming, “We’re not done yet."
She yanked on his grip, attacking his arm with the other hand trying to pry him off, "Let go of me!”
“No.” The harsh pivot of his emotions was disorienting, the Dark side of the Force now billowing around him, "I know how this ends. And so do you. You won't admit it to yourself but you know just as well as I do. Why do you insist on prolonging the inevitable?” He hissed, “Why continue this game?"
"Game?!” She yelled, wrenching her hand out of his grasp and stumbling backward. He almost certainly released her intentionally. “You think this is some kind of game for me?"
"Game. Charade. Facade. I don't care what you call it.” The frustration and rage he was radiating through their bond fueled her own rising temper, the Force starting to crackle between them, “It's all some feeble attempt to exonerate what you're doing. You can't deny your feelings for me any more than I can for you."
“I’m not denying them!” She had just told him that she loved him, that she yearned to be with him even at the cost of her own morals and the good of the galaxy. She was trying to circumvent the unavoidable pain they would both have to endure when the war was won by either side. It didn’t matter who came out the victor. They would both lose in the end.
“Yes, you are!” He declared incredulously, “You deny them every time you walk away.”
Rey dragged her hands down her face and shrugged her shoulders helplessly, “What do you want me to say, Ben? We can’t keep doing this forever.”
He pointed a finger at her, “You need to realize my tolerance for your indecisiveness is not limitless.” He approached her so that she had to crane her neck up to look at him, but she did not cower from his imposing height. The tone he used was softer, but with no less venom, “I’ve played along, I've been patient, but there will come a point when I will be done waiting.”
She glowered at him, the gravity of what he was implying settling disturbingly, “Are you threatening me?”
“It’s a promise, sweetheart.” The use of his pet name for her had been poisoned by his callousness, "We are a Dyad, Rey. Two that are one, destined to be together by the Force itself.” He stepped forward, crowding her personal space, and leaned down to be eye level with her, his expression unnerving, “If you walk away this time, I will never stop hunting you.”
The sincerity of his warning that he planned to essentially kidnap her, again, should have frightened her, but instead, it left a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach of utter disappointment.
This man, this brute, standing before her was not her Ben. No, he had regressed into the ruthless and menacing warlord of the Supreme Leader. A man who would stop at nothing to acquire whatever he desired, consequences and casualties be damned. A man she hated. She might not be able to be rid of him as long as their bond exists, but she could stop their tumultuous relationship before it destroyed them both.
Rey took a few steps back while shaking her head, fresh tears forming in her eyes. There was nothing more she could say. She gave him a small, sad smile, “Goodbye, Ben.”
She would forever be haunted by the sudden pained look in his eyes as his glare fell harshly, replaced with dejection. It nearly broke her resolve, but she remained impassive. If he thought he could scare her into staying, he was sorely mistaken. She turned on her heels, grabbed her bag full of tools, and stormed past him toward the exit of the bridge without another word. He didn’t move to stop her.
As she ran down the hallway with blurry vision, sudden bursts of deep remorse and loneliness floated across their connection. An invisible impulse so strong and unyielding was pulling at her, begging her to turn around, to run into his arms, and never let go, but she stubbornly refused. This was for the best, for them and everyone else. Another wave of despair now tainted with indignation rolled through the tether, and in response, Rey raised her mental barriers once again and closed the door.