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The thing that got her in the first place when it came to him was the fact that Professor Johnson genuinely cared about them.
It was college, so she didn’t expect much, not really. She was a science major, so up until then, most of her teachers had been real hardasses. Really there just to teach and do research, wanted to just leave their impact on the future generation whether the future generation wanted them to or not.
But everyone knew that when it came to really enjoying a class, it needed a professor that was not only passionate about the material but was also a person that cared about their students.
Professor Johnson, affectionately known as Professor Jay, was one of those professors, and that made Anita fall hard.
It really was innocent at first.
He came into their class on the very first day with all this energy. He insisted on trying to know as many of their names as possible. It wasn’t an intro-level course, so the class wasn’t that big, but whenever they raised their hands, he made them say their name before their response, but smiled when Anita introduced herself.
Their school had this thing about introductions. It was called a ‘Cypress Intro’ (after their school name) and it included their name, where they were from, and their major. Every class basically opened with everyone doing it. It was an easy way to know everything you needed to know about a person.
Anita stood up that very first day in class and said, “My name is Anita Singleton, my major is biology and I’m from New York City,” Winked as she tilted her head because New Yorkers were always like that. “Brooklyn,” All proud like. One thing Anita had never been short on was confidence, and it showed.
Professor Johnson looked her up and down and grinned before he said, “Me too. What part?”
“Crown Heights,” and he nodded.
“We’ll have to get together,” He said, a dimple on his right cheek. “And talk about home one of these days.” Her cheeks burned as she took her seat, but she didn’t look away from him. He held her gaze before his sharp, dark eyes slid away.
“It just gave me this feeling,” she said to her friend that night. “I went up to the front to see him after class was over and he leaned over to circle his office hours for me on the syllabus,” in a dark sharp black pen that he had tucked in front of his shirt.
“Don’t be a stranger, Brooklyn.” He said afterward, a smirk gliding across his face.
“A nickname already?” Her friend said. “interesting,”
“We’re both from Brooklyn!” Anita said. “I don’t know what it means,”
“It means that he noticed you,” she laughed. “You have to study now. You can’t disappoint him,” Anita shoved at her.
“Stop laughing,” she said. “Stop it!” But her cheeks burned from how hard she was blushing. She was excited to go back to class on Thursday and wanted to see him again.
But it was innocent, she promised.
And then on Thursday, a student was late to their class and Professor Johnson didn’t make a big show of it, didn’t stop teaching, just nodded and kept it moving. He didn’t embarrass the boy the way plenty of her other professors would have and didn’t kick him out. In fact, after class, she watched him pull the student aside, checking to make sure everything was alright. Only once the student said yes did he let them go and she was overwhelmed by how kind he was and then found herself blushing when he turned to her.
“Everything good, Brooklyn?” He asked with a smile. “Enjoy the class?”
“Yeah,” she said, stunned to hear her once confident voice gone breathless and quiet. “I did have a question about this one thing, though,” she said, tilting her head.
“You wanna follow me back to my office?” and her heart stopped. “We can talk about it there. Another class is going to be in here soon.” She knew she should probably say no. She had another class in an hour she had to get ready for, but caught under the light of his smile, she found herself nodding and following him down the hallway after he packed everything into his bag.
His office wasn’t too big, was cozy and intimate, and he quickly took a seat so he could focus all his attention on her.
She didn’t stutter as she asked her question, and he didn’t dumb down his answer. So she asked another, and he responded in kind, and from there it just kind of spiraled, shifted from one topic to the next. He was so passionate, his voice raising and falling, and she was enraptured by him.
They ended up talking the whole hour until her phone alarm went off and she sat up in her chair with a gasp.
“I’m going to be late,” she said, and he stood with her as she gathered her things to leave.
“Brooklyn,” He started.
“My name is Anita,” she interrupted him.
“Anita,” he said, and her name slid across his lips. “Feel free to come by any time. You got a good head on your shoulders,” she nodded, trying not to beam at the praise. She would definitely be back.
And so it went from there. After class, she would follow him back to his office, where they would talk for as long as they could. The conversation left science eventually and shifted over to where they were from, her childhood, and what she wanted to do in the future while he talked about his experiences all over the world.
There were no pictures of his family in his office, but she found out he was married. He wore his ring around his neck on a chain that he hid under his shirt. But sometimes when he was deep in thought, coming up with answers to her questions, he would take it out and spin it between his fingers.
She didn’t ask him about it, besides the secondary question of if he had any kids, and he answered that one with a shake of his head and a sad smile. “No, it’s just the two of us,” he said. “Our lonely little life,” with so much bitterness in his tone.
“He doesn’t love her,” Anita told her friend, who was used to Anita’s tangents about the professor by this point. “He’s unhappy and spends more time in his office to avoid going home to her.” Under that smile, she realized her professor was a pretty sad guy, and she wanted him to be happy.
So weeks went by and they got closer and closer. He was her favorite professor, no contest, and she was one of his favorite students, even if he never showed her any favoritism when it came to her class assignments. She would watch during classes as he walked in front of them, gesturing to the broad. He was so striking and kept their attention the whole time. Sometimes her mind wandered, and she imagined kissing him and holding his hand. Didn’t draw doodles in her notes with hearts, but it came pretty close.
He eventually gave her his phone number and told her to call him if she needed anything. She hadn’t found a good enough reason yet, but loved that he trusted her enough to give it to her. They started hanging out in his office later and later, even after the sun set when he would then insist on driving her back to her dorm.
Anita started to consider him a friend, was fond of him, and from the look in his eyes, she could tell he was fond of her, too.
And then she went and changed everything.
Her friend took her out to a party. They pre-gamed before and then kept drinking through the night to the point where Anita found herself just a little wobbly on her heels. Cognizant to know that she wasn’t sober, but not dangerously drunk.
Her friend found some guy who she wanted to go home with but was holding herself back in case Anita still needed a ride home, which Anita put a stop pretty quickly. “Go!” she said. “have fun! I’ll call somebody,” It took a little more prodding, but eventually her friend left her and Anita went through her contacts searching for someone to come pick her up. Her hand hesitated as she scrolled over Professor Jay’s name.
He picked up on the first ring.
“Anita,” He said, voice rough with sleep. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m sorry,” she said in response. “But my friend left me alone at this party and I have no one else to call,”
“You’re drunk?” He asked, and she couldn’t read the tone in his voice and cringed inwardly.
“A little,” she admitted.
“Don’t move,” He said after a second. “Give me the location and I’ll be there as soon as I can,”
“You don’t have to do this,” she tried to say, and he clicked his tongue, stopping her in his tracks.
“I want to. Now stay there, be safe.” She texted him the address for her party but was already regretting asking him to come, knowing he would be disappointed in her. It was late, and no one liked being woken up out of their sleep by some college kid. Especially not a professor that she would have to see bright and early come Tuesday morning. But she listened to him, didn’t move, stayed where she was and hugged herself tightly to fight against the cold.
Less than twenty minutes later, an expensive silver car pulled up in front of her and came to a stop on the curb and then the driver’s side opened and Professor Jay stepped out.
“I’m sorry,” she started, feeling her eyes grow a little wet. She didn’t want him to yell at her or lecture her. “You didn’t have to,” flinched back a little from his hand as he reached out to her.
“Get in the car, Anita,” her professor said, endlessly patient with her. He looked her up and down, then helped her inside with his hand on the small of her back before returning to his side. The car was silent as he pulled off, but warm, and she felt herself sinking into the seat. She wondered if he had left his wife behind to come and get her, if the other side of his bed was growing cold because he insisted on coming to pick up one of his students. Well, not one of his students. Her.
“You look really nice,” He said, and she tugged at the hem of her dress, her cheeks burning.
“Thank you.” She said back and leaned her head back against the seat and they returned to that heavy silence.
“If you feel like you have to throw up, say something,” He finally said.
“I’m not that drunk,” she said quietly in return, and he shot her an unreadable look.
The silence in the car grew to unbearable levels, and she shifted in her seat, her thighs sticking to the leather from her sweating.
“Look,” he started, and she found that she really didn’t want to hear what he had to say.
“I don’t need a lecture,” she said quickly. “It was stupid to go out with a backup plan and I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry,”
He reached a hand out to stroke her cheek and she fell silent.
“Sweetheart,” he said, softly. “Stop apologizing. I’m glad you reached out. I like to know that you’re safe.”
“But,” she didn’t even know why she was trying to argue.
“Anita,” he said. “You can always call me. I’ll always come and get you.” And what was a girl supposed to say to that?
She kissed him.
He was still driving with one hand on the wheel, his other hand cupping her face, and he was kissing her back softly.
He’s the first one to pull away and turned his head fully to the road. His hands gripped the steering wheel.
Her eyes were wide, her heart beat out of her chest. She couldn’t believe she did that. He was going to hate her, he was going to kick her out.
“Anita, calm down.”
“I’m sorry,” she said at the same time.
He pulled over and her heart went to jackrabbit levels.
“What did I say about apologizing?” he asked, turning to look at her. His voice was still low and kind and soft. “I just don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret. You're drunk, I don't want to take advantage of you.
“I’m not,” she said. “not really. I mean, I’ve wanted to do that since I first met you.” She’ll blame the alcohol for letting that fall from her lips.
“Anita,” he said with a groan, rubbing his face. “I,”
“You kissed me back, so,”
“I’m your professor,” He said. And “I’m ma—” He cut himself off.
“Did you want to kiss me?” She asked, having to look away in case his answer was no. Feeling so juvenile, she might as well have asked if he liked her. She heard him swallow.
“I won’t lie to you, I did,” He said and her eyes flew open as she turned to look at him. Guilt was heavy on his face, but he didn’t look away from her. “I’ve been trying to ignore it but you’re just so,” she’s reaching for him again before she can stop herself, hope bloomed in her chest and he put a finger to her lips, then rubbed gently against them. “Nita, I can’t,” she leaned back.
“Because of your wife,”
“No,” he said quickly, then tilted his head like he was thinking. “Well, not just that,” and he sounded so earnest. “I don’t want to hurt you,”
“I want it,” she said, grabbing his hand and putting it on her thigh. He clenched it immediately, and she shuddered a little. “Please Professor,” and he flinched. “Come on,” she said, watching him fight himself. “We can make it a one-time thing. Just tonight, no one else has to know.” she leaned in again and this time, he moved to meet her. She sank into the kiss, leaning over the center console. His hand was gripping and then releasing her thigh and she put her hand on his leg, trying to get closer to him. “Please,” she said again, as quiet as a whisper when they pulled back and his hand began to move up her leg, so she spread them as far as she could in the car.
They were on the side of the road. It was almost three a.m. and her professor had his fingers under her dress.
“Yes,” she said, groaning into his mouth as he pressed his palm against the front of her panties.
He groaned her name as she reached down to grab his hand, to pull at his fingers till they were teasing at the top.
“How long has it been?” she asked him and he shut his eyes, even as his fingers slipped inside of her panties. “How long have you wanted me?” Anita didn’t know where the words were coming from. But from the way her professor’s breathing got harder and harder, she could tell she was having quite an effect on him. “Did you imagine taking me in your office, over your desk? Or did you imagine me on my knees underneath?”
“Anita,” He said. “Jesus,” and then he was touching her as she moaned into his mouth.
“You’re so wet,” He mutters.
“All for you,” she said, and immediately cringed. “Come on Jay,” and then she kinda winced. Without the title, it didn’t flow as well. “Let me make you feel good,”
“I don’t normally do this,” he admitted, and she smiled as she pressed her lips to his throat.
“I know,” she said. He pushed a finger inside of her and she gasped as he curled his finger, and started trying to unbuckle his pants. “Let me,” she pleaded. “Let me touch you too,” He kissed her cheek, still impossibly sweet.
“Alright,” He said, and she pulled him out, gripping him right. He was long and thick in her hand. Her mouth watered at the sight. She wanted to suck him, wanted him to fuck her, was burning with this want for him. He pressed another finger into her while he bucked up into her hand and she rolled her hips to get him deeper inside of her. They were both making noises, couldn’t quite contain the moans and grunts they were drawing from each other.
She wanted more, was greedy. She ended up pushing his hands away so she could climb into his lap.
“It’s okay,” Anita said into his ear as he pushed his seat back to accommodate her. “I want it. I want you so bad.” Her panties were down by her ankles and she was so wet as he gripped her hips to steady her.
“Please,” she whispered into his ear, rolling her hips down so she could feel him.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” He reiterated and then she rocked back and took his cock inside of her. Her mouth fell open as he groaned. He filled her all the way up. “Baby girl,” he muttered, his hands squeezing her hips, moved up, and played with her tits. “you’re so tight,”
“Fuck me,” she said. “Please move, Professor,” and he thrust up and she could practically see stars. It felt so good. From there it devolved, was just a constant movement of bodies and impassioned kisses. He kept saying all these sweet things to her, and she never wanted it to end. She could feel her body shaking through one orgasm and lighting up with sparks as he kept moving inside of her.
“Come on,” she said when she realized he was close. “Give it to me,” kissed him hard as he shook apart as he came. He held her for a long time afterward. Her phone showed a time after four a.m and messages from her friend, asking if she made it home safe. She hated when she had to move to get off of him, was cold without his body heat.
Anita could practically hear a pin drop in the car as she got herself back together. She felt much more sober than she did when she called him, and her body ached pleasantly in various places. She could still feel his hands on her hips.
“I don’t regret it,” she told him, didn’t bother to slide her panties back up since they were so ruined, just put them in her purse. His shirt was all rumpled, she had messed up his hair, and her lipstick was smeared across his skin in various places. She couldn’t even imagine how bad she looked. “I wanted it. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Who are you trying to convince, kiddo?” He asked her. His eyes were full of dark guilt, his mouth in a frown.
“I’m not a child,” she said sharply.
“I took advantage of you,” He said and she reached out to grip his hand.
“No, you didn’t,” she swore. “You can feel bad for other things,” like cheating on his wife. There was nothing she could say about that. “But don’t you dare imply that you forced me to do that. You didn’t. I asked for it, you gave it to me.” She kissed him and he didn’t stop her. “I’d ask for it again in a heartbeat,”
“It can’t happen again,” He said. She inclined her head and didn’t bother to agree or argue. The chips would fall where they wanted, and she knew what she wanted. Him. So the ball was in his court. It would be his decision.
“I’m taking you home,” he finally said, and she let his hand go to lean back in her seat, and put her seatbelt on. Didn’t argue.
She worried a little as they rolled through the streets. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles were turning white. Academics, she thought with a shrug, would always overthink everything. They both were so quiet that when he pulled up to her dorm, she almost didn’t realize they made it. He didn’t move to open her door or say anything, so she started to get out when he grabbed her wrist.
“I’ll see you in class on Tuesday?” She smiled at him.
“I’ll be there early.”