Chapter Text
“You’re saying… that you’re the one who put my daughter in danger.”
“Dad it’s not-”
“You were conceited, thinking you could handle the enemy all by yourself, and in your failure, you still managed to implicate my daughter with your recklessness.”
“Dad! It was my decision to-”
“And you have the gall to call yourself her mate?”
His hackles rising with every statement, the table now silenced at the lasting implication.
“Well, what have you got to say for yourself, girl?”
Esther had been hiding out in her room for the whole day. Unable to face the world for her fatal mistake. Unable to face anyone at all, not even Murray and Enid, oh and Enid- she saw, she saw everything-
Forcing Murray to shoulder the burden of breaking it to Janey’s family, having to face them alone on the worst day of their lives. And having to deal with reporting the tragedy to their alpha all by himself. She knew the weight, the pressure of the responsibility he had to swallow for the sake of facing the music alone- but Esther can’t- she can’t, she can’t, she’s unable- And she knows. She knows being an adult means facing the music even in the hardest of times, and she’s just making childish, self-pitying excuses for herself, but the weight in her chest feels so heavy and every time she tries to get out of bed, all her limbs betray her instantly- she can’t face them, she can’t, she’s ashamed, there’s so much shame-
Murray had kissed her on the forehead, it’s fine, love, you should rest. His kind comfort didn’t stop things from feeling wrong. But the paralysis has rendered her inept- inadvertently throwing her husband to the wolves all by himself- what a useless mate she makes.
And every time she gets the least bit of courage to finally take it like a wolf, Janey’s screams take over the forefront of her mind, and suddenly she’s back to last night, powerless, too late- oh Janey I’m so sorry- she couldn’t, couldn’t move, couldn’t get out of bed.
Before she knew it, a crack of the door allowed light to enter the dark room-
Murray had come up looking rough and haggard, but still with the kindest of eyes- kissing her on the cheek and pulling her up from the bed into a bear hug, “Come down for dinner?”
It was the least Esther could do.
Down the stairs, silent in step- she couldn’t really look at Enid in the eye. Seeing, feeling her daughter looking at her made her realize, the least she could have actually done was handle their pup’s education while Murray had been dealing with matters outside the house.
But even with the guilt stuck at the back of her throat, she kept a blank face. Steel in mien, but her posture couldn’t follow. Laggard in pace as she sat down at the head of the table- a role she never felt befit all by herself.
But it seems Murray had even thought about this, making the family dinner an impromptu meeting. Updating on things about Janey, making Esther squeeze her eyes and clench her teeth, but no. She should be present, if not then, then now. Even muted in her senses, her ears perked at Enid prompting some questions and Murray answering in turn-
“… only her husband went to see…”
“…three children…”
“-he’s a pastor, I still need to speak to him about the funeral proceedings… cremation… they said we can go, yes. But he-”
Shame, guilt, and regret- coiling, low and bitter in her throat- she could barely taste her food.
Then, in breath- education, in boilerplate language- familiar- her shoulders finally loosen.
Murray begins by explaining that a pack Alpha had nothing to do with fighting nor strength. They only call them an Alpha because they’re of the first pack to stay within the territory and never left. It’s just a fancy term for a wolf in charge of governance- a branch head if you will. That generally means that the packs under their charge are usually their relatives with their own families. It’s also isn’t rare for other packs to migrate to the area. When they do, the alpha also gives them a task, just to prove their mettle and strength- a test to show they’ll be able to protect their given territory. After they pass, it is only then that they’ll be accepted into the pack.
The pack Alpha is also responsible of conferring with the representatives of other races in the area. They’re also in charge of taking account of new werewolves transforming. It is one of the safeguards against any unknown feral wolves lurking about. This Alpha system was only formed when they were being mobbed too often by other races because of a handful of feral wolves gone amuck. The pack at the time decided as a whole that the most merciful justice given to the stray wolves would be in the hands of their own kin.
“W-What about mates?!” in a sudden question, startling Esther in her seat, finally making her look up at-
Enid, looking at her father in wide-eyed curiosity, maybe even worry-
“Mates?” Murray repeats,
Esther could feel her husband side-eyeing her.
“Yes… do you- does the A-alpha get a say i-in my mate?”
Esther and Murray looked at each other then, both of them confused at where this is coming from.
Esther just shakes her head before Murray answers, “No.”
Murray then explains a mate shouldn’t be forced and even if the pack Alpha disagrees with a match, they wouldn’t wrench them from each other.
They would simply shun them, was left unsaid.
They both look at each other once more in silent agreement- some things you just don’t need to tell your children. Be it from pride, or simply from finally having the liberty to peacefully lay the past to rest- of remnants left untouched.
What matters most now is the things they’ve achieved- through all the bitter scorn of Esther’s own grandfather- given her… affliction, it’d be merciful to put her to sleep- the previous pack Alpha. His derision justified the rest of the pack’s prejudice- turning their snout up- false predators- in ridicule, in passive aggressive compliments and barbs at their carefully crafted traps and tactics- oh, tricks! much like humans, how charming! -
Blinking, and she’s back to the present, her hand had instinctively sought for Murray’s under the table.
His eyes are ever so kind.
Her rock, always.
How could she be so blind?
What matters most now- behind every painstaking sacrifice, in blood- of sweat, bear, and grit- is their family. The culmination of everything they’ve worked so hard for, of everything they’ve overcome.
Murray squeezes her hand in turn, there’s a slight smile under his furry whisker and Esther’s heart jumps at the warm sight.
After all these years and her wolf still never fails to endear her.
“S-so! Uh- You- I mean, they won’t force me into an arranged… uhm, b-bonding?”
“No.” a scrunch on his brow, “As I said, it’d prove detrimental- both to the bonded pair and the pack as a whole.” he cocks his head, “Where is this coming from, Enid?” gentle in tone as ever.
His comfort lost to their daughter as she began playing with her food, stabbing into her takeout meal with chopsticks in agitation, “W-well, I just- well, not me, but y-you guys-” the side-eye to Esther’s direction was not lost on her, “-always… ask me whether or not I found a mate yet, and I thought it was some sort of duty as a wolf that I need to fulfill…” blue eyes now furtively eyeing her friend- what was her name again? It was a day of the week- Ah, Wednesday- beside her who had been silently eating all this while.
“I see… it’s good… you won’t take Wednesday away from me…” Enid continued, while playing with her food, under her breath-
Murmured, but heard by the entire table, making Wednesday put down her own chopsticks, tilting her head to get a better look at Enid’s face.
Then, slow in gesture, an extended hand over the table in offer, palm up-
Enid takes Wednesday’s hand immediately, interlacing their fingers naturally- her long multicolored nails a contrast to short dark polish.
They look like a picture of a young couple in love.
Enid, smiling at the monochromatic girl who gave nothing away in turn- though that didn’t seem to faze the brightness of her smile one bit.
Opposites attract
But…no. Esther knows they’re not mates. Or at least they aren’t together. The scent of the lie still lingers. More so from Enid. There’s a minute tick of guilt in her daughter’s expression- the weight of the lie. On the other hand, Wednesday looks unmoved. However, perhaps from lack of any foreknowledge and a true grasp of a werewolf’s abilities on scenting pheromones, she’d just as easily given herself away with her nervous scent.
No, not nervous-
Esther observes the… couple, scrutinizing them closely with her supernatural eyes in a better light-
She’s not nervous about the lie… this girl, she’s nervous to be around Enid.
Fast heartbeat, a clench of her jaw, a quick flicker of her eyes down Enid’s lips-
Brown eyes then turn to Esther- caught in her inspection.
Esther remains unfazed, only diverting her eyes towards the shared dishes at the center of the table.
Wednesday doesn’t blink in turn, picking up a spare rib and putting it on Enid’s box.
The girl may have been quiet all this while, but it seems she’s very attentive.
Enid blinks, “How do you know I like this?”
“It’s meat. You like meat.” matter-of-factly.
A giggle, then bumping her on the side with her shoulder, “Thanks, Willa.”
“Eat well, Tesoro. You’ve already sufficiently played with your food.” no change in her face, but her tone indicated a hint of pride.
“Me too! Here, I know you like shrimp!”
A nod, “They’re the cockroaches of the ocean.”
Right, flirting, or perhaps an interpretation of sorts.
Now, Esther doesn’t know how much of it is for show or just innocent back and forth, but she’s honestly surprised Murray kept mum about allowing the two kids to sit beside each other when he made so much effort to keep them at a distance yesterday.
The grip in her hand tightening, but when she eyed Murray, he’s quietly eating his meal.
If she knows her husband, he’s barely keeping his anger at bay- a ticking time bomb.
After all, he’s always been queasy about strangers entering their house with weapons. It’s one of the things that sends the normally peaceful man off.
Murray will act as he will.
Esther won’t stop him, of course. After all, she trusts that he won’t go too far.
She looks back at Enid instead.
She looks happy.
Her daughter now filling up Wednesday’s box with more side dishes, with the girl returning the favor, as if a silent competition they made up on the spot.
Enid looks really happy. The sight brings a small smile to Esther’s lips.
Eating as she goes, laughing merrily, a youthful flush on her cheeks.
Then, Enid kisses Wednesday on the cheek.
It was fair to say that at that moment, all hell breaks loose.
Murray relies too much on his sense of smell, that’s why when his instincts take over, it clouds over a lot of the obvious. Esther muses that Murray acts as if Enid was being coerced by the other girl. The simple man can’t seem to grasp that his darling daughter has the capacity to be really…persuasive. She can see clear as day that Wednesday was the one who’s being strung along. And she wagers he might have an inkling of it. But perhaps his protectiveness as a father trumps over logic.
“You can’t even call yourself her mate- can you?” goading, in challenge.
“Dad, our relationship is still-”
“Not now, pup, your mate needs to be taken down a-”
“Stop infantilizing her!”
A first of Wednesday’s voice in the whole much too one-sided argument. The vapid girl now with fire in her eyes- the last straw- in a heavy palm striking the hardwood antique, the dishes atop shaking in contention.
Wednesday looks visibly angry now, or at least as angry as she could look with the near corpse-like demeanor she’s exhibited over the past two days.
Her scent, spoiling, gripping at Esther’s throat- rotten, in threat, and most putrid- in death. But most of all, protectiveness- of Enid, against them.
Insolent child.
Esther shakes her head slightly. They wouldn’t hurt a hair on their own pup.
“I don’t care for whatever werewolf name or pretense you shove down our throats- but if you ever try to take her away from me, I won’t hesitate to rip out yours. I don’t care even if you are Enid’s parents, if you hurt her in any way- force her into a box- a mockery, of whatever well-intentioned role all for the sake of conforming into this farcical society, then I assure you, dear parents, that I will save her even from your vile clutches if it’s the last thing I do- I will make sure nobody, nobody- not even you- will get in the way of my mate’s true happiness.”
Enid looks on at Wednesday, mouth agape. Esther could hear the loud heartbeats of both teenagers in tandem. One in blind rage, another in excitement.
“Words are useless.” Murray huffs, a steam of indignance. His scent of protectiveness.
“Would you care to take it outside… sir?” all teeth, brown eyes disappearing beneath a tight smile.
“Now you’re speaking my language. Let’s go.”
They both stand up from their seats, all smiles, deadly with venom.
“Wednesday?! Dad?!”
Murray had ignored the protest, already out the door, stomping in exit.
Enid caught Wednesday by the sleeve before she could follow-
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I know. But I need to make him unders-”
“You don’t.” Enid stresses, making Wednesday finally turn to face her, “You don’t have to go this far.” as if there’s meaning behind the reminder.
Wednesday blinks.
“I want to.”
A simple statement, though heavy as a declaration, almost a confession.
It stuns the young wolf.
“I want to.” a hand covering the one on her sleeve, “Okay?”
A weighed stare, then, a sigh, acceptance, “Okay.”
Enid stands, placing another soft kiss on her friend’s cheek.
This brought a light flush on Wednesday’s pale face.
The girl seems to be holding something back, with clenched fists and pursed lips, eyeing Enid with both hunger and confusion, before just as quickly turning away, fury in her eyes, chasing after Murray.
At the next instant, Enid moves to follow-
“Don’t. This is between the two of them.”
Her daughter swivels to face her-
“Why didn’t you stop him?” there’s that impertinent tone again, but she lets it slide, knowing they’ve been through a lot this past day.
“He doesn’t trust her.” Esther cocks her head, “There’s nothing else to be done about that but have the girl prove it herself.”
She doesn’t say it, but she also thinks that Murray may have gone a touch too far. But that girl looks like she could handle herself anyway. Plus, Murray looks like he needs to let off some steam. His shoulders were tense all evening.
“No, you should’ve still stopped him! He was going off on Wednesday like she’s done something wrong while you just sat there and-”
“My… ‘job’ as his mate is to stay by his side and support him through thick and thin. It isn’t to manipulate his decisions into doing my bidding.”
Heavens, the cheek of this child. If Esther had talked like that to her own mother, she’d already be slapped across her face.
“But- but- he sounds like he’s going to hurt her…”
“He’s not.” a pause in thought, remembering the tight-lipped smile Enid’s friend had shown her husband, that girl’s got bite herself, “Nothing lasting at least.”
“Are you sure because-”
“I trust my mate. Do you trust yours?”
Silence.
Then, it comes as a surprise to Esther when-
“Wednesday… isn’t my mate.”
Honesty. That’s a first. Usually, they’d get into an infuriating argument by now, or just persist in tense silence, only heavy acrimony in the air.
But now,
“I… I just…” a sigh, Esther could scent the pieces of her daughter’s walls crumbling bit by bit, “I think my wolf knows.”
She stays silent, letting Enid speak, still a bit flabbergasted at this… rare sincerity.
“I just told her I needed someone, anyone to accompany me. And she agreed so easily. But the truth is, I think… or my wolf thinks it… needs her to be able to ‘wolf-out’.”
“It wasn’t the blood moon?”
“No.” a scrunch on her face, “If anything, the blood moon made me really anxious.” a hand to her chest, her heart- still loud, in… excitement? No, the edges of her lips pulling down indicated… uncertainty- “But when with her… it all just… feels… right… Do you know what I mean?”
A flash of memory- Esther’s first transformation on a bright, full moon. A puzzle piece slotting into its rightful place.
A small smile, “I do.”
Another surprise when she sees her daughter’s lips pulling into a warm smile in turn.
Perhaps it was in the rare sincere moment that brought on the question.
Because even Esther is aware that Enid would rather turn to Murray with these sort of things-
“Will I … turn into a fe- feral wolf too?” almost timidly, looking away.
There might be regret laced in the question itself, and Esther recognizes that it depends on how she answers.
“Let’s go for a run.” seemingly out of nowhere, but Esther has a purpose.
“Huh? Now?”
“You’re not up for it?”
Perking up, chest out in pride, another smile from her daughter. It warms Esther’s heart.
“I’m always up for a run.”
They come back to her study fresh from their running high.
Esther brought up meditation while on their run, she was prepared for rejection so she hammered down its importance- “The gift alone doesn’t make you powerful, Enid. You must have control- a mastery over yourself, before you can truly prove your mettle.”
But to her surprise, Enid had easily agreed.
Imagine, her daughter actually listening to her for once. She never thought this day would come. Esther decides not to let this opportunity go to waste.
That’s why when Enid brought up not liking candles during meditations, Esther easily acquiesces as well-a compromise.
“Okay, now just sit down like this, close your eyes, and listen to my voice…”
Esther had never felt anything like this before.
The post-work out high had enhanced the overall experience of the meditation.
Feeling her fast heartrate slowing with her breath- in full control of her respiratory system- falling into the deepest trance she ever experienced.
Tingling, scanning- aware of every contraction, of each individual muscle on her body.
Maybe she should begin doing it like this from now on.
She opens her eyes to her daughter still riding the wave, perhaps feeling the first of a successful session.
Enid begins slowly coming to, looking all dazed but relaxed, blinking blearily as the light enters her eyes.
Then, both their ears perked at the front door-
“They’re back!”
Enid rushes down, Esther follows behind in a normal pace.
She sees her husband first, all dirty and torn clothes, but beyond that, he isn’t harmed.
“Dad! what did you do to her!”
Wednesday has a long cut on her upper arm, it bled through her torn clothes. But upon further inspection, it doesn’t look too deep. This doesn’t stop Enid from seeing the worst in the situation.
Eyes watery, brows in anger, vitriol in her glare- “You hurt her! How could you! Wednesday isn’t even my ma-”
“Enid. I’m fine.” the girl was the first to stop her daughter from mauling her own father, a strong hand on her shoulder.
Enid swivels to face her friend, indignant-
“No, you’re not! Your arm is bleeding!”
“Enid, look. It’s a shallow cut. See?”
Enid whimpers when Wednesday brandished the wound, even carefully, patient in explanation.
“I baited him into attacking me so that I can get a clear punch to his face.”
They all look at Murray, and sure enough, there’s a bruise under his eye, already healing by the looks of it, unnoticeable at first glance.
“Let me patch you up.” Enid’s voice is still full of worry even after the assurance, insistently pulling at Wednesday’s uninjured arm.
“I also heal fast. I don’t need to-”
“Let me still patch you up. We need to at least disinfect it.”
Esther could only see her daughter’s back at this angle, but she could clearly see Wednesday’s eyes softening at whatever she saw of Enid’s expression- “Please?”
An immediate nod in reply and nothing else, looking helplessly at their interlaced fingers as she’s led up the stairs without another word of protest.
The girls seemed to have forgotten about their existence.
Leaving them behind without even a permission of goodbye.
Young love.
Esther mulls if she and Murray were that bad in their honeymoon stage.
“She didn’t use them.” Murray sidles up beside her, looking up the stairs, his ears perking, probably trying to listen in on the girls’ conversation.
Esther bumps his shoulder, a reminder to stop. He snaps out of it.
“Use what?” she urges instead.
Murray blinks, walking away from the stairs.
Esther follows him into his study.
She pours two glasses with their favorite scotch while he lights the fireplace.
“Her silver knives.” he continues as he sat down on his armchair, with Esther handing him his glass, “She didn’t use them.”
“Huh.” taking a sip, enjoying how it stings down her throat.
“I held out some hope, that she’s not Enid’s mate. But the way she fought, just so she could prove that she cares for her. This is really it, isn’t it? Our daughter’s going to get married soon.”
Esther settles down sideways on his lap, his arms wrapping around her waist in routine.
“Is this what this is about?” in a whisper, positioning her head on his strong shoulder, smelling of sweat, blood, and the forest.
“No… Yes… It’s just happening so fast! One moment she was a small pup calling for daddy and now, at sixteen, she’s already found her mate.”
Esther mulls in silence, relishing in her own mate’s body heat and the crackling of the fire.
“Have we been infantilizing them?”
Another silence as she feels her mate consider the question.
A sigh, his chest compressing, his body relaxing into the large chair.
“It’s… difficult to unlearn it. I’ve always seen them as my pups. They’re babies in my eyes. Even if they grow larger and stronger than me. They’ll forever be the pups I carried in my arms.”
“I know.” then, a deep sigh of her own after drinking another sip, “I can’t believe she thought I was going to force her into a bonding.”
Murray’s chest vibrates against her ear in a deep chuckle, “Well, maybe you’ve just been a bit too eager about her finding a mate. Even I thought you wanted her to pop out some grandchildren soon.”
She slaps him on his hard chest, making him chuckle more, catching her hand with his large hand, holding it against his beating heart.
Content in silence, enjoying each other’s company while they sit with their own thoughts.
Maybe Esther did bring this upon herself. She never even realized that she never once told Enid why she wanted her to find a mate soon. Brought on by worry of her pup way past the age of ‘wolfing-out’, the only other solution she could see was if Enid had a good support system, namely a mate, which Esther herself had found in Murray.
But she’d gotten ahead of herself.
Stop infantilizing her!
Esther can’t believe it took one impertinent outsider to make her finally see that she’d been turning a deaf ear to a lot of their pups’ concerns. Making decisions for them instead of listening, treating them almost as dogs to be trained to heel instead of children a parent should learn to get to know and help grow.
After all, a good support system should start with family.
Today was filled with a lot of pleasant surprises.
For one, that sincere moment with her daughter had even allowed her to learn new things about meditation- a skill she’s long honed and thought to have developed a mastery on.
An open communication.
That’s the next on her agenda.
She should stop fancying them mind readers or obedient children that shouldn’t question and only follow.
It’s difficult to unlearn.
Esther is fortunate she won’t be doing it alone.
Feeling Murray’s breathing against her, relishing his deep breaths.
They still have a lot of work as parents cut out for them
“This is really it, isn’t it?” Murray breaks the silence, “She’s going to go away, get married…” there’s a small whimper in his tone.
This must be really bothering him, how cute.
Pulling back, looking up at him in comfort, “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I don’t think the girl knows yet.”
“The girl?”
“Wednesday.” Esther clarifies.
At the name, low growls escapes his throat. Esther just chuckles at his overprotectiveness.
“Really? I did have my doubts, but the way that… girl spoke about their bond earlier, I could have sworn they were already together.”
“No. But Enid… well, she told me some details about her transformation.”
“You finally talked?” he perks up at this, hope in his eyes.
“Yes.” a small smile pulling at her lips in memory.
It only took some humility. Who knew revealing a vulnerability would pave for her daughter to open up to her? She’d always thought she should always put up a perfect front- an example her daughter should follow. But in the long run, that had proven to be ineffective, only bursting in outrageous fights bordering on explosive.
Then, she saw a change in her husband’s features.
Relief
Oh.
It’d been weighing on him. She never even really realized.
The fights between her daughter, the tenseness around the house, it had been weighing on everyone.
There’s that guilt again. That shame.
But Murray must have seen something in her own expression, instantly pressing her head into his chest, ear by his heart.
No more words are exchanged between them, only his warmth, and the small sway in his hug.
In a way, he’s asking if she’s okay or if she wants to talk about it.
There was guilt, shame, and worry. Endless worry.
But no, she shouldn’t.
There was really no reason to worry anymore.
Her daughter’s smile flash in her memory.
Truly happy.
Yes, there’s no real reason to worry now.
If Enid fails the induction. They’ll be here- her parents, her brothers, and yes, even that pseudo-as yet to be named- mate.
They’ll be here for her.
She could always try again in the next full moon.
Esther only shakes her head, burrowing her head deeper into Murray’s chest- his rock, always.
She’d forgotten for a moment, but she never got this far alone. Everything they’ve ever achieved- everything they’ve overcome- it was all for and because of her family.