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This is a robbery...of my heart

Summary:

Pop (from Pop-Up Pirate) × Robert (from One
Night Ultimate Werewolf) love story. LOTS OF SEX & SMUT SO BE WARNED.

(you donnot have to know the characters to read it)

 

PRAISE FOR 'THIS IS A ROBBERY..OF MY HEART':

 

"Pirates! Robbers! Violence! Ocean! Class
warfare! Pee! Who would think to combine all of these other than AO3's renowned writer "sayeconomics", also known as pianistarmenfan_ 929 on Wattpad. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant." - Kirkus Reviews

 

"If there is one book you will ever read, make it sayeconomics' This is a robbery…of my heart." - Joe Biden, President of the Untied
States

 

"An unlikely romance between a robber and a pirate, set against the turbulent backdrop of the big blue ocean, class warfare, and a crime-riddled society, showing everyone that love can transcend any boundary. We will hang this up in our museums forever!" - The Smithsonian

 

"Oughdkjl;ag;kjdasghsakjf this was so hawt like so hot whew i loved it when Robert cock 😳 turn to page three if u are just here for the spicy stuff like me ;)" - Anonymous user

Chapter 1: Robert Pees

Summary:

robart peeing

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Oh crap! I’m out of money!” Said Robert. Robert was out of money. “Wah!” So he want to town to find money. On his way though the town Robert passed many people but they didn’t have enough money for him to robert. 

Suddenly!! Robert sees a boat in the water wit letters  spelling Lady Impoppable . Its a really big boat. That must mean it has money! Roberty uses his trusty grappling hook and climbs in though the windo. in the side the sip Robbery sees barels and barels of gold and money and cash and gems and coins and jewlery and emeralds and silver and horses and chairs and gold and money. The horse snored out a big sont.                                                                            omg hi

Robert smiled “i always liked horses especially the ones that snot” 

“What was that” a person someone said

Robert hid in a barrel and looekd through the hole in the barrel to see the person whi is there to see wo is on the ship and look at them.

Robert saw a sexy sexy man with a cylindrical waist and giant head.

“Hot” said robert

“Who said that” said the hot sexy man

“No me” said robert (he is in a barrel)

The man seemed convinced by roberts convincing argument

“Said the ship!” he sail and the boat started to leave!! But robert was still on it!! Oh no!!

Robby was so scared he peed. The pe e feel oiut of the barel and but the man saw and came over to where robert was (inside a barrel) to see why there was pee coing on the foorl.

digitally drawn image of Pop on his ship seeing the pee under the barrel

“PEEE?!?!” the pirate said and stuck his sowrd in the barrel (where robert was) 

“Ouhc!” Robert shrieked “that perced my nosetrail” He jumped out of the barrel (he is not in the barel anymore) 

Finally he saw the how sexy sex man infront of him. He was wearing a royal purple hat and a eyepatch. his eye was so hot like a fire 

“An intruder!!” said the pirate 

“No im robbery but you can call me robert”

“You have to walk the plank”

“Oh no” said robert as the pirates brough him to the palnk he walked to the end and turned back to get one last look at the hot man before he dived into the  ovean

“NOOOOO” yeld poop up pirate he jump off the plnak and garbed roberts hand as they plumeded to the ocean. Suddenly the pop pirate popped up and they were in the air!! tehn they were on the boat1! wow. 

but while they were in the water robbirt had hit his head on the realy hard ocean so he was knocked out

“wake up Robert” screamed Pop in ribbot’s ear. while robert was being unconscious he was thinkin about the awesome handsome cylindrical hunk and the way he popped so when he heared those words coming from the hunk’s mouth he immediately awoken!!

“You saved me” Robert gapsed while waking up because he couldnt beleve someone ho hot had saved him adn tiwh hitw with a cool super cool move. 

“Did i” said pirate pop up turning as red as a red wsord. “must have been by accident nad not because i u think your hot or any thing”

“Ok then” Robert said corssing his orms “i dont think youe how either” robrte lied

“Your still not a loud on my ship” Said the pop ip pirate “ but we do’t have space ofr you to sleep” the pierat pondred “all though i gues you  could stay in my room. teh captain gets a bigest room”

The room was big. It had a nice window and a fluffy bed. but wait there was only one bed?? they woul have to sharre. 

omg

 

Comprehension questions:

Where was Robert?

WHat is pop?

How old is a pumpkin? 

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

Do you like pirates?

Notes:

ANSWER THE COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS IN COMMENTS BELOW. this is our first story so if you liked it please smash that subscribe button

P.S. read more stories over at Wattpad!

Chapter 2: Robert Pees (Pop POV)

Summary:

Pop is having a nomal day being so very rich but then there is pee???

Chapter Text

“Oh crap! I have so much money!” Said Pop. Pop was very rich “argh! How will i be a pirate with all this money”

one day Pop was on his ship being hot n sexy ;) he went down into the ship and looked at his barrells. he loved lookin at his barels because they make him proud as a pirate. suddenly one of his bareels say “hot”

“whosaidthat” says Pop adding some argh to his voice to seem scary and intimidating

“No me” said the barel 

Ok Pop thought. then he quickly told his co captain Jack Sparrowl for his ship to leave the docks because he wanted to go sailing in the ocean and sea all the wAter 👍

Angyway wile that was happening Pop was looking at the barrel because it was peeing

psssss went the bareel 

“PEEE?!?!” - said Popper

          Help how do i unindent it

thanks

Pop stabbed his stupendous sword into the holes in the barrel and stabbed really darn hard because thats how you get things out of the barel

“Ouhc!” a guy shrieke from inside “that porked my nosetail” hejumped out of the barrel and Pop see he is so smexy and scrungly and had a smexy mullet. 

an intruder!! said Pop 

“No im robbery but you can call me robert” said sexy mullet man aka Robbert

Pop had a weird feeling this today was important like it would be his life and his life. He thought mayhe Rotertt would be his future but also Rotbert was HIDING in his barels AND PEED IN THEM. so he was angers to his circular core because thats unforgivingable for a pirate. 

So, said Pop: “You have to WALK THE PLINCK.” 

as the Robert was walking onto the plank his eyes were so sad and his mullet was wilting. his ear had a bite out of it like Pop was taking a bite out of his heart

Smexy Mullets Robart looked back and Pop’s blank black orbs connected with the scrungler’s one brown orb and one green orb. Pop was haunted by his sexy tortured gaze. then Robert JUMPED into the Ocean four feet away. 

Poop felt a big NOOOO growl out from way deep i side his cylindrical chest where his lungs where (his lungs are also circular) and so he jumped in with rombert 

glug glug thought pop while he was in the water and he grabbed Robert’s warm hand which was warm while the ocean is cold wow!!

Poop used his superpower: he popt UP out of the water with Roberson on top of hi 

digital drawing of Pop popping out of the water with Robert on top of him. to the side is the boat which reads "Lady Impoop" (rest of the word is cut off)

Pop is so worried about his loml i mean Ropett because Ropirt is soaked to the bo- (A/N: Pop got confusedbhere becouse robert dosint have any bones due to bone densirty anemia and also he is a playing card.)

Aaaaaanyway robert and his smexy smexymullet are sleeping rely heard so pop screams in his ear “WAKE UP ROBERT” as loud as he can which is 2.1 decibels for the nerds out there

rober wakes up and sucks in gigamtic breth like whew whew whew.

pppoppp is so relieved and he feels so excited like when he pops but this is bad because tubber and pirate are star cross!!! not allwed!

Pip is sweating so red when Ron art says pop saved him so pip is so gruff and says “did i”(this is a refrinse to popular card game One Night Ultimate Werewolf where you have to lie a lot so basically pop is like if he was a wearwolve and the wearwolves really liked robers but had to pretend not too) 

pap thinksnrobmrt maybe s not convincev so he adds justin case “must of bin by accident and not beicouse ithink your hot or any thing 😳”

to pope’s dismay ropier replys “i donnot think your hawt eether ”

pope is in dismays becaise sexy mullets thinks he is not also smexy so there is a 0/100% change that they will grt to smash mouthes, or even smash regular. he feels his heart sink like a sstone down to the lowegst place on earth: the inner core. 

poop tells his enemy now “yur nur allowt on me shup arggggggh”

robert start to snore

“you will must stay in my room the captains room” pop said but ropert was still ungrateful snoring “its he bigest room” he adds hoping roland will be impresed

luckily ropoer wakes up and they saunder across the ship (but their not holdign hands bucaude there enemees okai(??) to the captin’s room. 

one bug bootiful window and one big bootyful bed, Pomp is so prouf of his room hessmiling so big. he takes a booty from under the bed. itsa new real purple amefyst velvet silk bandanna!! he puts the new real purple amefyst velvet silk bandanna oofn his head sicne his old one was sweating. 

roblet is eyeball at the bed mostly and thinkigjf thougts probly, but he sneaks a peak at Pop’s sexy head when. and pop sees this so this means roubert was lying when he said hes not hot.. inch restin

…………… ………………………………………..

Chapter 3: Things get spucy

Summary:

robery amd pop have to share a bed and things get a litle spicy

WARNING: NSFW !!!

Chapter Text

~~shiver my Timbers robbert you are so smexy right now ~~

robert cock

Chapter 4: Wake Up Robert

Chapter Text

“Wake Up Robert”

Robert woke up.

Chapter 5: Robrt is a wake

Summary:

when robbring is awoken

Chapter Text

robbery waked up and saw the cylinder man. They were in the captin bed together and robert remembered oh no 

this is really bad because robbers and cylinders i mean piratas dont mix. robert’s parents who are also roberts said so themselfs.

Chapter 6: orange juice emulsification

Summary:

roubret makes a decision

Chapter Text

roberto decided do not care that do not mix. he will emulsify.

they fuck again. riberys haue stands up in a mullet erection

“wow that’s so hot” said pop

“hermfsfshns” said robert. his entire lips is in pop’s mouth as they make out so romantic.

they have a nice fuck and pip is like “are you on the sausage” and robert says he is on the level

robwrt sipped his meaty, sweaty orange juice.

 

the orange juice meated and sweated all over him but lucky Robert had a HUNKY hunk named Pip who took of his iconic blue and white stripsd t-shirt and gave it to robby to soak up the meat juice & sweat. Plus now robert see Pus amazing belly button !! thats a. Holy guacomoley moment if i do say so myself

drawing of Pop and Robert, with text that says "STEAL THEIR LOOK!" and arrows pointing to pop's amazing belly button, iconic blue and white stripsd t-shirt, robert's mullet erection and his meaty, sweaty orange juice

Chapter 7: pretty cylindrical magical object

Chapter Text

woah pop you are such a pretty cylindrical magical object said robert

thank you said pop

Chapter 8: a hot date

Summary:

ribbery and bop go on a hot date

Chapter Text

“letsgoonahotdate” robino says today

Pop nods his enormous head

they find a suitably warm volcano and sit in it. Pinnochio is lounging in silence while robest wonder why pop no care that the lavavolcano is burning up his purate ship 

Poop see Rambert’s face which is so shocked like a seashell

“i hav anotther wun ;)” pop say secretly like a promise and he pulled out a BOAT from inside his Pop pockets 

this is the hottest 🔥 🔥 🔥 thing Roger has EVER SEEN :000000

robert but in a second he feels his bums he’s too ng up. they’re way too hot now!!

“oh no pop” saids rombert. “maybe we should go now”

“that’s ok” said pip “we can go to another romantic date location.

they get on the BOAT and go on the BOAT and they set sail and it’s very nice

soon they see an island. on the island is a pastry shop

“woah,” says rovert “i have never been to a grocerpasty store before”

Chapter 9: Tarts

Chapter Text

Ribbon takes Pup to the grocery store because Pope has nevar been there due to being busy arghhhhh hiya matey i cant hear you ooooooooooooooooh

Pop(e) spies a square frosted cookie box in the grocery store fridge and looks at it and the box has his name on it!!! Pop Tarts!!!! this box is made for him and so he will take it home right now and eat his Tarts. 

“wow this is for me arghhh” - Pop 

Robint: no pop you must pay for your purchases

“It is very bold of you to say that!!! you never pay when you steal from the non-wealthy 99%” - Pop

robbie gasp why did pooppers say that. robber yes rob BUTT pireate aslo steel thing. Robobort had always learned form his parent sto be a good pober that you hvaae ot steal from the mostrichest and give to the not hav as much money (youself) 

"We are the same," says Ronald to Pope. "Thefting one and another alike. Bet i can’t let you steal from the grossre store man" 

“You csnt stop me robwrt im a pirat and i steal whatever i want to steal. Be sides these tarts have my name on them

Pop op poprate walked outside the store with the tarts. “Beep bepp bep” go the store alrm “this is a robbery of my tart” sayd the grosery store man

Ronert felt bad for the stor man but he folowed popy pirate out. Pop was already half way done with eating they box when Rborert joined him.

“Would you like some” popuppirate asked and hands Robote the eaten tart orber took a bit it tasted like pop pirate silava and pop tart flavor. He was still angy taht pop stoole from the averag man. what would hi s parents say when tehy foumd out his…well he didnt know aht pop po pirate was to him…but his parents certanly wotn approved. 

The sweatness of the poptart made robirt almoist forgive pop as they walked hand in hadn across the shore . 

“The bech is so pretty at sunset” rovert gushed

“No u” popirate

Robert has never heard a declaration of love more eloquently professed than the words that had escaped his lover’s mouth.

Onc the box of tarts was empty opop oup opirate tosed it in too the sand.

“Its food four the beach” he explaned 

“Your so smar” trebor said

Robtre and po priate spent the night on the sandy sand of the sandy beach 

In the morninging pee pirate tried to get the atenton of michael honk shoo the co captain of his new ship (jeck sparlow died in the vlocano) 

Chapter 10: oh no where is the boat

Chapter Text

Mickyl honk shoe was going honking shoes and he didt see his captin waving from of the out side of the sboat. 

“Avast its no working” sad pop

Wow what coool pirate pirating hes doing thout Rboert as popopopopopop ranned back and forward acors s the beac ot get hte boat over. If only he kept to boats in his pockit :(

“We have to hid in the town intil mickle walkes up” Pop up piraet 

“The tonw???!!?!?!???!!!!!!??!!?!?1??!!?!/1111!1/1//1//???1!” Raw bert aksed “hats where my parent s live!1//?1”

“What if you…introducd me too youre parents?? Jkjkjkjk” Poopy pirate loked like the flushing emoj

robert as the flushed emoji

“NO” robet cryed “my parnts dont apprive of cilinders”

“EEEEEUUUUURRG AAHAAAAH SDGRRRAAAAAAAAAH” screamed the goblin.

Boobert thout about what his parets said when he leaft to be a robbery on his won

Flashback 

“No w Roobery when your a real robber you ahve to rember: only steel from the 1% and never be frind a pirte becase theye take from the everyone to become rich” his mooter warned him

“But howe will i now if i someone is the pirate?” small robter 

“Grrr thats very east” his papa said “the pirats are nown for theyre cylindre bodys rawr”

“Yes dear. Unlike us robars with our flat card bodis” his mater added

“I i ever meet a pirate i’m gonna robbery him!11!” roomba said

“Hiss snarl NO” his papa yeled “prates our to dangerus. If you meet a pirate you have to rob…his life

End Flasback

“Peerat pls you dont understand” roba pleded

“R u scared?” peepee peerat asked with a smirk and he grabed rebarts hand and lead hi m to the tow n. 

Pop up Pirate shoed robert all the expensave things in the stores. Robertt was wored he was goig to steal theme and his parents woud notice the steeling and now abot pirate!1!

butt porate nevar stole anythig until they got the toe 

“I must have the teo “ said pop

“Nooo robert said “you promissed” robbertt 

Pop up irate coud not help hiself he reched out four the big tow and grabbed it. imedately the alrm want off beep boop beep boob 

“Stoop in the name of robbery” sade two robbers”

“Robis?” one of thme said It was mohter robery! And Papa two

“Bark bark is that a tube man” Papa said angrly ponting at Up pirat

“Robby!” Pop said and grabed roberts hand ot run out with the toe

“No” robetr sad “thes are my parents. i cant leave them four a toe” 

“fine then” popers said and sprang up into the sky

Robert savoryed the last one lok at POp’s cylindrical boody befour turning to face his prents.

Chapter 11: sun we need to talk

Notes:

please think about this video while reading: https://youtu.be/gLYg1Pe2_K8

Chapter Text

Robart’s parents lookd at him with looks of angry and disapointed. he didnt no how to explane wht he was with a pirate, the swarn enemy of robbers. so he just looked at thme

“Robery why are you with a that pirat”? His mommney aske d

“Pop pp pirate is more then just a piratE! Robert scremed i now we dont mix bbut i have decide to emulsufy 

“why dont you sit down his” bother sighed we ahve something we shwold habve told you along time ago”

Once opon a time theyre was a robert. He did as a ll roberts od he robberted hte richest 1%ers and hepled hte people in nedd. but then one day he usde the mony he stoled from the poeple to start a compony. 

he compainy was so suckessfull that he had one trilion monie. becuse he exploted the work of thep eople emploied and gavae then one money an horu. than he be came king of hte workld he was so rich

Soon he has a sun. an d he names this osn robbery or robert for shotr, but when he looked at his osn g face ahd he say his son one bron orb and one green  orn he realised he had be come the very emeny of robberts. he new he coldnt rase ihs son to be a good robert so he tired to find a famliy that could.

Youre father and i awere a yong couple tring to have a babby btu we round. Whne the king saiid hi to use we dint know if we shoud trust him. but than he shoed  us the baby and we new we were ment to rased him.

rombertr ‘s mouth droped. so he wa s the pince??!!1 howe could thatb e!?!:!

oppa pirate style

Chapter 12: The Royal Ranking™

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

afted robert prince he went to the locakl castle to see if he was allowd inside but he didnt have jis credit identuy card so the castle guards pulpwd him like orange juice so sad

after hes pulsed rob art was outside andb he sees a big scorboard and a man standing nect to the bord named william shwatz 

“hello mr shorts i am a prize and what is this bord”

willy says “your heinous this is the oryal ranking™ ”

“whazz that”

“it shows who is above who and the king is always on top because he is the best” liam looks a little like vomiting when he says thus and so robert is sad thay citizens hate his dad even thifogsh his dad is the bad king

rovert eyebakls the rainkings

#1 king

#2 royals

#3 robers

#4 citizens

#5 pet dogs and stuff

#100 pirate

“they are like stocks your higness ” says william in a conspiracy theroy voice

“what is a stock”

“Stock (also capital stock, or sometimes interchangeably, shares) consist of all the shares by which ownership of a corporation or company is divided. A single share of the stock means fractional ownership of the corporation in proportion to the total number of shares. This typically entitles the shareholder (stockholder) to that fraction of the company's earnings, proceeds from liquidation of assets (after discharge of all senior claims such as secured and unsecured debt), or voting power, often dividing these up in proportion to the amount of money each stockholder has invested. Not all stock is necessarily equal, as certain classes of stock may be issued for example without voting rights, with enhanced voting rights, or with a certain priority to receive profits or liquidation proceeds before or after other classes of shareholders. Stocks can be bought and sold privately or on stock exchanges. Such transactions are closely overseen by governments and regulatory bodies to prevent fraud, protect investors, and benefit the larger economy.” says will

“may i have, may i have a stock william”

william shakes his head “no stocks avaikable today sir”

robist start sobfign how will pirate go up rank withoot money stocks?!?

liam tells him “respectfuly sir the pirate is forgver the lowest stock  and kimg is top stick it is not changing ever”

robot pucnhes william shatz in face and ran away forever

Notes:

definition of stocks taken from wikipedia pls dont sue me :flushed:

Chapter 13: son we have to continue talking

Chapter Text

“I under stand everuthing now” orber t says “i sawed the scors bored and i met bill…i now pirates areth e lowest stonk but may be i could change that plese mothor and fothor” 

“Hiss snarl no roberort were have been over this bark

Roberrt looked a the floore sadly. It was purople like pops favoright banandana he rememered being on pops ship and the pee leaving his pants in pops barel and pop saved him and and cold he rely betrey him loke this?

butt than ronert saw his aprnets faces and hr thout of the sotry of the king his dad. he didnt want to be come like that so he had to  rob poppers life but coud he do it

He diced to think about it and told jis parenets  

“ok i will kill this  pirate >:(“

Chapter 14: toes and balls

Chapter Text

Back on pap smear pirates’s ship. Pop pu pirate was admirring his new tow. he was aslo thinkin about the conversayshon he and robert had. It waas tru ehtat a pirate and a orbere t had nbver gotten in love be four. What fi they we’re the first 

suddenly there was a big boom like  acanon

“Oh no” opo said “a cannon”

their was a canon ball in the shi pand a whole throuh the side and there was water in the boat!!!11!!!1 thts not where it goes1!!1!1!1

Pep rally new he had ot act fast to save his ship or je could use a nother bacmup from his pock it. Popt thinks really logn and har d aboot what to do and than he had an ideas!

Poppers opens his mouch and goes sluuuurp sluuuurp slup up to the hol e. Now the watter is oging insode his stomack. 

“Ew too salt” pope yeled 

suddently the ships’ cooking man scones and poors reverse salt inthe ocen. now i not sa;ty. 

“everypony com helps dronk up the water.” the cptain (pop up irate) scremed 

the all crew strats clurping at the hole ; togethet they manage to eat teh ocean ontil it is gone and safely stored in the balls. butt now the hisp is stucnk

Oh nooo how is going to saev them? Pirat e was wishing he hasdn leaft robart for htis toe. It was a relly cole toe through. it evan had toe fun gus

out side the ship a fish was dieing becos their was no water letf. 

Glug gluf glug the fishie cryed 

up was so feling sad and so gulty thar he threw the toe at the fishy. The greatfull fish weant munc and eat the toe. 

the tor travled thorough hte fish and spring out the botom. like a toe. than an other adn an other ontil the fish had a persone bodie made of tows.

“Thank you four the fish” the fish sade in a toe fungis voice “im finaly free

The crew salooted toe fish gus as he spun legs very fast and came a helecoptor and flew a way onto the sinset. 

Popopop wipped a teer awat bcus it was sp beutifull adn he wants to share thos momemt wiht the sex rober man dream man. 

any way their’re stuck i n the botom of the ocean but ehre s no water (its in theiree pee) so they cant botat go.

Chapter 15: where did the ocean og?

Chapter Text

it went awy

Robbarts parents gaven him a nife that said pirate staber 3000. he stashed it in his mesanger bag and sling it over his sholder. his thuoghts scrabled all over the place. 

he ran as fast as his robbery legs could ran. but he falled off the clif where the ocean was supoed to be. `

“Waaaahh he said like his second favright purple man” “whear did the ocen go? did someone get thursty like how i feel like when i see the circle hole on the bottom of pops cylinder. “ 

“Snort” said the horse

“A horse” said robert

Rabert loved horseys and he reconized this one from the boat. He must have runned ot get halp once the ocean sank,

Robert jamped on the horses back and road out passed the decaying carcases of fishes adn dolfins and squid and octapus and sharks and turtels.

finaly they made i t to the staranded boat where pop and the crew were wating. popers balls was so very big from where all the water. but robobet was two happy to care. they huged and smoooched on the moth with lots of mouth juice (spit). 

“where did all the water og?A” roberat wimpered

We ate it like mmm yum” poop up pirate smirked

Rowboat: but now were stukck :(

then robrart thinks back to the first time he as on this ship. waht did he do? PEE! thats it they needd pee

all the pirates started peeing the water back out of the whole and it filled the hole ocean. it was beter then befour becase it was yellow and warm. like a hug





lets a rob

Chapter 16: hoggywarts intermission

Chapter Text

Robers and popers saw a biggest castel

Boobort: wow they loook like the richerest 1%ers of the world!

POOPUP: wwo they look like hat 

The two deiced to go in to the house to meet  where the money and htings to rob or poirate are.

when they got their it was a ibg lunching eating room with poeple wating in lone. portate gets in line and robertat folowes. but than the old mana puts a hat on his head (whee hats go ) and the hart stats reading his braine

“Griffon Door” the hat yellls

Robert puts in his fire red griffin dor roobes. next its poppera turn to were the heat. But when it as on him it waas tow big and it coevered him. whear did he gowes?

Poppers pope pop pirte? Robert askis becase all he can se eis the hat and it says slither in but where is robert siposed to slither into? justas r[bort si loosing all hop the hat goes away like the ocean that one time and they’res popopop

they hug and smooch like mwah kiss tongue

Everyine gasps “you cant do that! nevar in the historey of hogsward their was a love betwen doors and ins”

Oh no why was there love forbiden where ever they wemt? Pop goes to the green table and roberar t goed to ther ed one .

edited image of the Hogwarts dining hall with a red table, where harry potter and robert are seated, and a green table, where draco malfoy and pop are seated. text above reads "if our love is tragedy why are you my clarity?"

wellcome to grifon dore” said harpy pooper

“welcom to silther in” asid dracko mallfoy

Robert looked robertly acorss the halll to whear popert was sitsing. his purple bandanana replaced with a green snkae hat. 

draco: i love steeling from the comon people! it s how my familey got rich

“Om me two!!” poppers gushed tears of adoreing out of his eyeballs. finaly some one understod him

Poop up and drayco became besties. dracio gave pop a wand made of magic “exspell your arm us” pep growled. Dracos orms fells off.

“Can i tell you a secret? draco askijn

\oh corse” pope ep 

dracko: “im in love…with a grifin doar” 

Pap gasped “Me to i am in love griffin odor’

meanwhale in the droffin dorr comon room robraert has made alot of new friend. like hary pooper and hermine grain and roland wesleyan. they are playng magic truth or dare witch is like normal trut or dare axcept they are wizzards. 

“I pice dare” says ronald wellesley 

i dare you to eat the jellie bean” harty pooepr says. but ronnie wentworth institute of technology coldnt do it becase he new it was the beanbooze bad bean. thet means ron webster was out.

“youre turn hermyone” said someone

“Ok i pick truthe”

who do you have crush on??” oooh went evry one

hermone thote for a momment “dracko malfoil”

!!

wowie looks like robert isn’t teh only perosn who in love with slitherer in 

Now it was roborbart s turn and he picked truth just

“what is youre depeest secret” adked ronade warner

“i don know” roborerorart thought he had a lot of screts but hwich one was deepest. “im actualy the prince. my papa is the famos king orbert”

Bahahaha said the students. Theyre thought it was a joke but robe rt was not joking it was teh turth. robaert sad

in potons class they are making soup. the grifion doors and the s;ihter ins are in the asame class togehter. robart adds pickles and mayonase to his soup hust like his paretsns used to make four him.

“oh my goodness graceous look at that grifon dore puting pickels in soup” said a slither

“Hey >:(“ a big cylindrical voice called out

every ones turned to see the pirate with an angy face and his red sword drown. “rombert can put what ever he wants in his soup” he is a goof souper

“nuh uh pickles arent aloud” the studant said “i wont left you” they tired to take a pickel out of the soup but pop swings his enormous sword and commits homo cide.

“any one else” pop scowled angrly 

Chapter Text

my cheese is sweaty said pop

robert stroked the sweaty cheese