Chapter Text
At home, he lacks the knowledge to complete his homework or study for upcoming tests. And when he decides to distract himself by watching TV, he lacks the attention span to focus on the show being played.
In the evening, he doesn’t have the appetite to eat. If he could, he’d skip eating altogether, but luckily Nayuta and their abundant pets are around so he has to prepare dinner anyway. So, he might as well eat with them.
When it’s time for bed, Denji can’t sleep. He tosses and turns in his futon until the blanket is completely shuffled off his body. He hears Nayuta’s soft breathing, Nyako’s gentle purrs, and he sees the overabundance of fluffy dogs, their bodies peacefully rising up with every inhale and back down with every exhale. They sleep in such a serene state that Denji envies them.
In the morning, he wakes up more unenthusiastically than the day before. He sleeps through the alarm at first and it’s the diligent little Nayuta that wakes him from his approximately 3 hour slumber. The dogs are running around, excited for the day to start, Nayuta is getting ready to go to school with that monotonous energy she has going for her, and Denji is dying from not wanting to go to school.
Oh, and Nyako is nowhere to be found. Probably sleeping in a random corner of their apartment.
In school, Denji sits at his desk fatigued, already waiting for the time to go home as he tries to get as much sleep as he can before class starts.
But then he hears it, as usual, the commotion and the ruckus that follows every single time the hunter makes an appearance.
Yoshida has finally arrived.
He walks in casually, bag hanging off his right shoulder, his stride is slow and filled with a subtle confidence. It’s as though, even if it seems like he isn’t acknowledging all the attention that’s fallen upon him, he knows it’s there, he takes it in mindlessly like it’s his given right. People fawn over him, boys and girls alike. They want to hang out with him, they want to talk to him, they want to be with him, they want to be him.
Denji wants him dead.
While Yoshida sits at his desk, he greets the crowd of students that make their way to him. They talk on and on about things that Denji couldn’t make out since he’s seated on the opposite end of where the hunter is, all the way in the corner of the class, and Yoshida is in the front, right in the middle.
The blond watches the scene unfold, thinking about how unfair the whole situation is. How could Yoshida act so nonchalantly after everything that happened? It’s unfair, he thought. It’s so unfair. Barely a week or two has passed since Yoshida was quite literally inside him, and he’s now not even talking to him anymore.
Yoshida touched his face, chest, back, arms, legs, kissing them, biting them, he shoved his disgusting fingers and filthy dick up his ass, and now they’re acting like strangers? He told Denji he loves him, for God’s sake, but what is this? Where’s all that love now? Where has it all gone?
If he could, Denji would pull Yoshida into an empty room and confront him. He’d say something like;
“What the fuck, man? We literally did it like a few days ago, and now you’re not talkin’ to me? You hate me now, do you? Fuck you with all that love bullshit! You make me sick, you know that? That day, I showered, for like, hours, and even now I’m still feelin’ all gross and shit! How’re ya gonna take responsibility for that, huh?! I can’t even jerk off anymore! All I think about is your disgusting face and hands touchin’ me, making me wanna puke! I can’t even get hard anymore! I can’t sleep too, damn it! You’re stupid face, givin’ me nightmares when I close my eyes-”
His make-believe rant is disrupted when two people block his vision, casting a shadow over him. Two girls knock on his desk, knocking Denji back into his senses, his eyes no longer fixated on the hunter.
“Denji! Denji! Why’re you so quiet nowadays, hmm?”
“Yeah, yeah! Don’t you wanna be our chair again?”
“C’mon, I’ll pay you double if you need more… Hahaha!”
That was all about what Denji heard, he blocks the rest of it from his ears. He’s tired of the mocking, all of the torment, the degrading tones in their actions. To be honest, the things Yoshida told him on the day they had sex, they really stuck with him.
“The girls over there don’t like you, Denji. It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s not going to change.” He had said.
And it hurts, but Denji realizes finally, it’s true.
“Forget it, I ain’t in the mood. Look for someone else.”
Baffled by his sudden change of attitude, they don’t listen to him, instead, they pester him more.
“Hah? What are you talking about? Denji, are you sick? What’s wrong with you?”
“That’s right! Aren’t you poor? You should get whatever money you get,”
“Yeah, beggars can’t be picky like that, Denji!”
“You know, people have seen you collecting used cigarettes,”
“Ah! Yeah, and they saw him selling them after!”
“Haha! See, Denji? That’s so-”
They go on. They go on and on, but Denji’s had enough. He just can’t afford to take any more hits than that. It’s bad to beat a guy when he’s already down, so Denji has no choice but to put an end to it himself.
“I said I’m done with that, alright?! Find some other dude to sit on. I don’t need your money,” he stands up too abruptly that when he puts the girls back in their place, his chair makes a sharp screeching noise before falling on the ground. His voice is loud and clear, all the eyes of his classmates fall on him, but for a brief moment, his eyes fall on Yoshida.
When he looks at the hunter, he notices an agitated look is plastered on his face, he almost looks so angry like he’s going to yell. Deep down, Denji assumes Yoshida wants to get up and defend Denji, but he pushes the thought away. It was just wishful thinking, wasn’t it? Why would Yoshida care enough to back him up?
Then again, he did say he loves him, didn’t he? But if he really did love him, why didn’t he defend him? That lying fuck.
A few seconds pass, Denji hopes Yoshida doesn’t look too deeply into their haste eye-contact and decides to leave the classroom for a little bit. After that embarrassing confrontation, he needs to take a little breather. Halfway out the class, a guy tells Denji that class is about to start and that the teacher is coming soon, but Denji simply flips him off and exits anyway. Slamming the door tight on his way out.
Silence creeps into the room, a few hushed words are exchanged among the students as they talk about how especially strange Denji has been behaving lately. Yoshida doesn’t participate, rather, he makes a run for it, a strong need to find Denji overwhelms him.
His classmates tell him not to leave, asking him what the hell is he doing, still, he ignores them, because nothing really matters to him right now, nothing but the poor blond boy that he’d been avoiding like a coward.
So, as he’s trying to catch up to Denji, he lets out an airy chuckle when he realizes that finding Denji isn’t hard. Finding the boy is his specialty afterall.
He didn’t go far. Just to the restroom that was right across the hall. Now, as he walks inside, he passes by all of the empty stalls, stopping in front of the only one occupied. He doesn’t expect it, but he’s nervous, more nervous than he’s ever been. His knuckles hover over the door, as if he’s contemplating on whether or not to even do this.
“Tch, you just gonna stand there or what? Choose already! I know it’s you, jackass,” Denji curses at the sight of the pair of shoes peeking through the gap of the door. He doesn’t need to ask who it is. Who’d chase him all the way over there when class is about to start if not Yoshida?
“Then..can I come in?”
Before the door opens, Yoshida hears him groan irritably.
After Denji unlocks the door, Yoshida is confronted with a tired and borderline malnourished boy. Denji is no longer that upbeat, go-getter boy he was not too long ago. His eyes are sunken, adorned with dark circles underneath. His skin is paler, like he hasn’t seen the sun in too long. His uniform is messier than usual, much less effort was obviously put into it.
Yoshida fears that it’s got something to do with him.
“What? What do you want?”
“I just,” Yoshida breathes deeply, “are you okay? Can I help in any way?”
“I’m not okay and no, you can’t help. Is that it?”
“Denji, come on, don’t do that-”
“Don’t do what?! I should be the one tellin’ you that!”
Filled with rage, Denji pulls the hunter by the collar, throwing him onto the toilet seat– which was thankfully closed. Not forgetting to lock the door behind him, Denji leans down to the hunter’s level, clutching onto his gakuran once again. “You really get on my nerves, you really do,”
Yoshida opens his mouth to respond, but gets interrupted, because Denji’s still has lots to say. So many things he’d been wanting to say, piling up in the back of his mind, and now is the chance for him to unleash it all, he’s surely not holding back.
“Don’t you dare act like I’m the one being fucking difficult. First, you stick your gross, pathetic, disgusting cock up my fucking ass, telling me shit like you love me, you’ll do anything for me, like a fucking loser. Now? You’re not even lookin’ at me anymore! You don’t talk to me in class or after, you don’t walk home with me anymore, you don’t get me all that fancy food like you used to!”
In the midst of his yelling, he feels his heart sinking. It’s unbelievably humiliating to be spouting all of his thoughts, but he needs to, once and for all.
“And- and every time I try to talk to you, you just, you ignore me. You fucking leave and you won’t–” A lump forms in his throat, “you act like you hate me even though you said you didn’t.”
His fists let go of Yoshida’s collar and he backs away until his body reaches the door. “I was right, you’re a fucking liar. You don’t fucking love me.”
“I do, Denji!” Yoshida shouts until he’s standing, reaching for Denji’s hands.
“Then what the hell was that just now?!” But Denji yells louder and pushes him back down. “You heard them! Those girls just talkin’ shit right to my face, you heard them but what did you do? Nothing!”
“I’m sorry, Denji, I swear I wanted to help,” Yoshida argues, but Denji scoffs. “But, you didn’t. I know I’m a fucking idiot, I’m not smart like the rest of you, but I know that when you love someone, you don’t pull crap like that.”
Yoshida lets out an exasperated sigh. He knows Denji is right, everything he’s saying is right. He’s aware that lately he’d been distancing himself from the boy, but he couldn’t help it. After how horribly their first time having sex together went, Yoshida didn’t have the strength to face him the same way anymore.
He rests his arms on his knees, burying his face in the palm on his hands. “I’m sorry, Denji. I love you I do, but knowing how much you hate me, after all that we’ve done, it’s too hard.”
“Hah? It’s too hard for you? Really?”
“Yes, it is actually.”
“Oh, jeez, so this is all my fault then? Wow, man, I’m really fuckin’ sorry-”
“I’m serious, Denji! How do you think it feels to tell the person you love how you feel, only for them to take advantage of that after? It really hurts, can’t you see that?!”
When Yoshida gets up again, Denji attempts to shove him down again, but this time, Yoshida makes sure to hold his arms back. The blond twitches at the contact, but stops moving around when Yoshida doesn’t show any signs of letting go.
“What about me then? You don’t think this shit’s hard on me?! What I want is simple! I just wanted a normal life, instead I got some weird creep that follows me around ‘cause it’s his job, telling me he loves and fucks me, and when we’re done, he won’t even be my friend anymore!”
Eventually, Yoshida loosens his grip and he’s left in awe. Denji considered him as his friend? Since when?
“At least before all that happened, I could pretend like we’re normal pals, but now it’s just fuckin’ weird. Sometimes at night, I still feel your creepy hands on me and it makes me sick. But, I still tried to act like I was fine with it. You’re not even trying,” his voice gets quieter and quieter with each word.
First Pochita, after that Aki, then Power. Yoshida too?
“Now I lost another friend.”