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“Table for two, please.”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing available,” the hostess says mechanically. You share a worried glance with Jake. Well, that’s not good. Your mission can’t fail before it’s even begun. The two of you were assigned to follow behind Michael Augustine, a notorious identity thief. He stole a laptop that has access to over 100,000 Social Security numbers and he’s apparently planning to sell the laptop to an interested party from China. Jake and you were told to watch Augustine and intercept the handoff of the laptop. It’s not a hard mission, but the restaurant’s inability to find you a table may prove to be a big problem.
“Oh no,” you remark sadly, trying to think of a cover story. “Tonight’s a really important night for us. Johnny and I just got engaged and… this is where our first date was.” You blink at Peralta, who seems to recover from the sudden shock of it all. To your surprise, the detective puts a hand on your arm and smiles at the hostess. Right, for the mission, you remember. You have to be touching to sell it.
“Yeah, it would mean so much to… Casper… and me if we got a reservation,” Jake continues. It takes every ounce of strength you have not to react. Casper, as in Casper the Friendly Ghost? That’s the fake name Jake chose? You groan internally. “But I didn’t know if he was going to say yes.”
Now it’s your turn to be surprised. The hostess is staring at you expectantly. You know that you need to lay it on thick if you want her to believe that you’re truly an engaged couple. In a burst of spontaneity, you lean forward and kiss Jake on the cheek. His eyes go wide and he looks genuinely startled. You turn to the hostess and manifest a confidence that you don’t quite possess in the moment. “He was so nervous,” you whisper to the hostess, as if you’re telling her an inside joke. Your heart is racing in your chest but the smile on your face doesn’t falter.
Fortunately, the hostess seems to eat the act right up. “Well, I’ll see what I can do for two young lovers,” she smiles, looking down at the screen.
“Yeah, we’re lovers,” Jake remarks, clearly feeling a bit flustered and overwhelmed. You subtly elbow him in the side and he stops talking. A small part of you wonders why Peralta seems so off-kilter. Is the idea of dating you really so bad to him? You push that thought away before your mind can needlessly spiral. The hostess steps away for a moment to speak with someone. When she comes back, there’s a waitress smiling at you.
“Right this way, you two.” You both exchange surprised looks before you’re led to your table. The waitress lays down two menus and promises to be back with drinks in a few minutes.
“Well, we’re here,” you say, sitting down in the chair Jake had scrambled to pull out for you. Your voice only cracks minutely, a feat you’re rather proud of. The menus are laid out in front of you and empty glasses recline on the luxurious white tablecloth.
“Yeah,” Jake nods, evidently feeling as perplexed and lost as you do. He takes a deep breath. Jake seems to be rather practiced at assignments like these, because he looks entirely unaffected. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was enjoying his night as any other person was. “We’ll be fine. We just have to pretend to be more sophisticated than we actually are. Should be easy, right?” The grin on his face is definitely a little tight at that. You can certainly sympathize.
“I think you’re missing the part about us being lovers,” you decide to point out. That will be the most difficult part of this assignment. This restaurant isn’t super fancy, so you’ll get by with basic table manners. Your so-called engagement with Johnny—Jake—will be harder to maintain. “Johnny.” You’re kind of bad at remembering to call people by their names. This will be tough.
“Right,” Jake grimaces, a strange expression flickering on his face for a fraction of a second. He smoothly adjusts his posture. “Here, hold my hand. It’s only very sweaty.” The detective reaches out and leaves his open palm on the table.
“I’m nervous, too; it’s okay,” you reassure him, reaching out to clasp his hand. Jake murmurs something under his breath about different reasons, but you can’t hear exactly what he says. Instead, you settle for squeezing his hand in a reassuring gesture. The detective actually seems to relax at that, as he sends you a grateful smile. “Do you see him?” Jake sends a glance to his right and, sure enough, the enamored couple is sitting at a booth a couple hundred feet away.
Surprisingly enough, the dinner proves to be rather boring. Jake and you order, but you’re not anticipating actually getting to eat your food. Sure enough, Augustine and his partner are already done eating by the time the waitress walks away with your orders. You hear Augustine get up and put on his coat, as his partner walks back to the car. He heads off into the direction of the kitchen. Evidently, the chef will be making the handoff. You grab Jake’s hand and drag him after you, until you’re both awkwardly hovering in the hallway. The two of you look into the kitchen, only to see him talking to the chef. You don’t see any actual handoff being made. Perhaps he just knows the cook? Jake seems to be just as confused as you are, as he keeps trying to adjust his view of the kitchen.
Unfortunately, Jake’s movements seem to catch the criminal’s eye and Augustine turns his head suddenly, his eyes catching on Jake and you. You swear under your breath, turning to Jake. He bites his lip, quickly looking back at you. The criminal is still hovering on the edges of your vision, even when you focus on the detective. What the hell are you going to do? He’s spotted you—the mission is practically over.
While you’re entirely helpless, Jake seems to come up with an idea. You nod to let him know that you trust him and his expression morphs into a grimace for a fraction of a second. Before you can ask what the grimace is for, Jake’s kissing you. You stiffen for a moment, until you remember that it’s just for cover. You put your hands on his waist and pretend not to notice Augustine hovering near the two of you. You almost forget that you’re on a mission, that you’re hiding in plain sight from one of the most prolific criminals in the city. Unfortunately, a pointed cough breaks you out of your thoughts and you remember the man’s presence. Jake and you break apart quickly.
“Oh, we’re so sorry,” Jake apologizes smoothly, a graceful smile on his face. You conjure up an embarrassed expression, which isn’t exactly hard to do given the situation. Your grip slips from Jake’s waist, but he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers. The rest of the conversation begins to escape your notice, as Jake prattles on about engagement, dating, and other things. Eventually, the criminal seems satisfied, because he walks away. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
Jake and you wait a few minutes before following Augustine’s lead and walking outside. It appears he’s taking the package to a park. Thankfully, you don’t have any close calls and the criminal is soon gone. Jake and you position yourselves so that the package is within sight. You then turn to Jake. “I can’t believe you named me fucking Casper,” you blurt out, the moment the two of you are safely away from prying eyes. “As in… Casper the Friendly Ghost. Really?”
“Hey, Casper is a cinematic masterpiece,” Jake remarks, sending you a disbelieving glare. He looks behind him at the package—it’s still there. The detective turns back to look at you again. “Besides, it was the first thing I thought of.”
“I’m so glad that I resemble a ghost in your mind’s eye,” you scoff. Jake rolls his eyes, evidently not wanting to even dignify your remark with a comment. For a few moments, there is nothing but silence. You look around the tree you’re hiding behind. There’s no one near the package.
“Ugh, I’m starving,” Jake groans, drawing your attention back to him. “Never actually ate anything in the restaurant.” You nod in agreement. Neither of you ended up even touching your plates. It really was a dine and dash, but without the dining. You shove your hands in your pockets, feeling a little restless.
“Know what I’m getting on my way home?” You grin, excited to brag about your future meal.
“Yeah,” Jake nods quickly, before proceeding to rattle off your favorite meal. It takes you a few moments to process that he gets everything correct, down to the tiny details of your favorite drink and what restaurant you’ll go to. You blink at him a few times.
“That’s exactly what I’m going to get,” you agree, staring at him in disbelief. Jake nods and sends a glance over his shoulder, evidently checking if the handoff is taking place. You take the opportunity to dissect the expression on his face. He didn’t seem to make that comment out of jest. You suppose you underestimated how well he knows you.
“I will be having pizza,” Jake announces, an excited grin on his face. “Two Meat Supremes from Tony’s, served display temperature.” You can’t help but grimace.
“That’s gross.” You shudder at the thought of eating lukewarm pizza that had been sitting on a display all day. You love pizza, of course, but display pizza is an entirely different beast. You look over to the package, only to find that there’s someone standing near it. Fuck. “Jake-”
“It’s not cold,” Jake tries to justify, rolling his eyes. “It’s just… significantly less warm than it should be.” As much as you’d love to spend far too much time debating with Jake over the morality of display pizza, you have other things to worry about—namely, the mission.
“No, Jake, he’s looking at us,” you hiss, brutally aware of the guy staring at you. You have to do something and you have to do it quickly. Fuck! There’s nothing you can do. Except… “Well, I guess we’re doing this.” You take a deep breath.
“What-”
This time, you’re the one to make the first move. You grab his collar and surge forward, kissing him before you can think to hesitate. For a selfish moment, you let the assignment, the criminals, and everything simply fade from your mind. It’s just Jake and you. Surprisingly, Jake doesn’t stiffen or freeze up. Rather, he reacts immediately—his hands snake up your waist and he pulls you flush against him. Unfortunately, you don’t have the time to savor the moment, and you have to break apart so the criminal doesn’t get away.
“NYPD, you’re under arrest!” You yell, gun pointed at the man. Jake seems to recover a few seconds later, and he pops out from behind the tree to stand next to you. “Hands up in the air.” You’re expecting Jake to make a characteristically badly timed remark about the two of you being only partners, but amazingly enough, he doesn’t say anything. You decide to focus on alerting Rosa and Boyle, who are quick to finish apprehending the criminal and send him on his way. Before long, the four of you are piled back in the van.
“How’d it go?” Charles is quick to break the somewhat awkward silence that had descended upon the vehicle. He is nearly bouncing in his seat, evidently asking for some sort of explanation. You don’t know how to rationalize what just happened, admittedly.
“So normal,” you blurt out, immediately wincing at how strained your voice sounds. Jake is sitting up front next to Rosa, so you can’t see his expression. Unfortunately, you’re too discombobulated to maintain an unaffected appearance. Charles’s gaze is digging into the side of your face and you’re just about to make up another stupid excuse when Jake interjects.
“We kissed.” You inhale sharply, not expecting him to outright say it. Although, now you’re glad that you can’t see Jake’s face, because it would surely be twisted in discomfort.
“What?” Charles screeches, his energy somehow increasing even more. He looks at you giddily. You’re not quite sure what to say, so you instead look to the side and remain silent. Your heart is hammering in your chest. “Tell me everything!” Charles grabs your shoulders and starts shaking you.
“We had to do it, um, to maintain cover,” you manage to choke out, only sounding rather strangled. Your remark doesn’t seem to convince Charles, because he only exhibits more energy and excitement. You’re certain that he’d hit his head on the ceiling if you weren’t sitting in a big ass van. As is, he’s making you dizzy just looking at him.
“To maintain cover,” Jake reiterates. This remark seems to go in one of Charles’s ears and right out the other. The rest of the car ride is split between Charles asking you for explicit details and Rosa telling him off for shouting, but smirking in the rearview mirror all the same.
Finally, after what seems like an infinitely painful amount of time, you’re back at the precinct. The four of you briefly stop by your desks before walking back out to the parking lot. Boyle carts Rosa off somewhere—evidently to a birthday surprise of sorts—which leaves Jake and you. The two of you are silent as you walk down the path towards the parking lot.
“What do you say to display-temperature pizza?” Jake asks, shoving his hands in his pockets. He seems uncharacteristically restless, for some reason. You try to think about what could be making him so nervous, but nothing comes to mind.
“I say hell no,” you shake your head, unable to shake the shiver that goes down your spine. Jake’s face quickly falls and you realize that you’re likely giving him the wrong impression. You do want to go with him. You just… don’t want to eat lukewarm display pizza. “How about takeout?” Jake raises his eyebrows at you, evidently not expecting you to offer an alternative.
“Yeah, sure,” Jake agrees. There’s a dazed expression on his face as he looks at you. He’s squinting at you as if trying to discern if you’re joking. Evidently, Jake must realize that you’re entirely serious, because he nods. “Cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool… Cool.” He pushes his hands further in his pockets and then frowns.
“What’s wrong?” You ask.
“Um… I don’t have my keys, actually,” Jake remarks, after searching his jacket and pant pockets several times. You take a deep breath and motion for him to follow you to your car. After getting in your car, Jake is visibly stiff. “This is cool. Cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool… cool.” You roll your eyes and pull out of the parking lot with an exasperated smile on your face.