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“As you can see, the previous owners recently updated all the appliances. Each stainless steel of course! The dishwasher and stove both come with a five-year warranty,” The real estate agent says, her glossy heels clicking loudly against the linoleum floor as she motions for them to inspect the kitchen for themselves.
Izuku’s eyes wander over the glittering black granite counters. It’s stunning, but he’s honestly losing a little steam at this point. He and Katsuki rushed over after their shift, desperately trying not to miss yet another open house. The house-hunting process has been significantly longer than either expected, but he’s still hopeful that the right one will come along eventually. Personally, he’s not terribly picky, but as for Kacchan…
“The cabinets are off by five millimeters,” Katsuki grumbles and turns to wave his level at Izuku—the one that he insisted on carrying around for their entire shift just in case .
“Kacchan, please,” Izuku begs.
Every house they look at is the same. The ones they like are quickly snatched up by other buyers while they’re busy saving the city, and the ones that don’t…Well, those ones have to face Katsuki’s fierce scrutiny and demand for absolute perfection.
“Oh, how…peculiar. No one else has mentioned that.” The agent’s smile is strained. It’s uncomfortably wide and far too blindingly white to be natural. “Well, I suppose you two are an exceptional pair after all! I’d expect no less from our pro heroes Deku and Dynamight!”
“It’s Great Explosion Mu—” Katsuki growls and starts to correct her, but Izuku slaps a hand over his mouth to silence him before he picks another fight with a poor unsuspecting agent. He gets a glare for his effort but it manages to silence him all the same.
“Yes, well we have high expectations of any home we buy,” Izuku says, doing his best to mitigate the situation before Katsuki boils over. “We’re very busy most days and we’re hoping we won’t have to move again for a very long time after we make a purchase.”
“Ah, yes! I completely understand,” she replies. Izuku decides to not point out that so far there seems to be nothing that she doesn’t understand and she’s been an unhelpful yes-man from the moment they stepped inside. “I think you’ll find that this home is truly one of the best on the market right now. It’s a new build, and the contractors used—”
A shrill ring pierces the air and she stops mid-sentence to riffle through her purse and pull out her phone.
“Oh goodness, I’m so sorry boys. I really need to take this. I’ve been waiting for this call all day. I’ll just step outside real quick and you two can take a look around. I’ll catch up with you in a few, promise!”
“Not a problem at all.”
“ Tch . Let’s go check upstairs. We don’t have all day.” Katsuki grabs Izuku by the arm and drags him up toward the master bedroom.
“Kacchan, you really need to be nicer to these folks. They’re just doing their jobs.” Izuku sighs and pulls himself free to wander into the attached master bath. “Oh, this is amazing!”
The bathroom is huge . Much bigger than anything he’s seen outside of imported movies. There’s a large jacuzzi directly under a beautiful tinted skylight and the shower is big enough to fit both of them with room to spare. He steps into the shower to check just how much space it has. As a responsible home buyer, of course. No other reason. But even so, as he runs his hands across the smooth natural stone wall he lets his mind wander a bit.
In his defense, it’s been a while since he and Katsuki had time alone. Their schedules are jam-packed with open houses and back-to-back shifts as they try to climb the hero rankings. He can’t remember the last time they had free time to take it easy and just be together.
But here…Well, Izuku can clearly see their lives in this house. For their busiest days, there’s plenty of room for a pre-shift quickie in the shower. Something fast and hard, their pants and moans echoing along the stone walls and filling the bathroom with an early morning symphony. And for when they have time there’s that stunning jacuzzi. He can already feel the slosh of water around him in the tub as Katsuki takes his time slowly unraveling him while the hot pulse of jets massages their skin.
Izuku steps back into the bedroom, eyes fogged over and mind lost somewhere between fantasies of marathon sex and a weekend off.
“What the hell are you babbling about, you little pervert?
The shout immediately pulls Izuku out of his thoughts and snaps him back into reality. Shit, was he saying that all out loud? Katsuki stands up from his spot crouched in the corner of the room—likely inspecting the floor moulding or something equally ridiculous.
“Oh just—ya know, checking out the bathroom is all. It’s got lovely tiles, you should take a look!” Izuku waves his hands around nervously, and as he does it, he knows he’s already given himself away.
“Didn’t realize bathroom tiles were enough to make you hard as a rock. I’ll make sure not to take you to a hardware store anytime soon.” Katsuki snickers and strides over until he’s close enough that his hot breath washes over Izuku as he speaks. “Can’t have the tabloids running a headline on everyone’s beloved Hero Deku is gettin’ hot and heavy with the water fixtures in aisle nine.”
“Kacchan!”
“Or was your mind somewhere else, hmm?” Katsuki reaches down to cup Izuku’s hardened length through the front of his jeans and licks the shell of his ear. The effect is immediate. It sends a shiver down his spine and Izuku mindlessly arches closer to his touch.
“Oh my god, Kacchan we can’t! This is someone else’s house,” Izuku hisses through his teeth, careful to keep his voice down. “She’ll be back any minute!”
“Then we’ll just have to be quick, now won’t we?” Katsuki’s smirk is devastatingly handsome. It spells all sorts of trouble and this is a terrible idea. Actually, he’s pretty sure it’s an illegal one too.
Izuku doesn’t have a chance to voice any of his concerns before Katsuki is flipping him around and shoving him into the closed bedroom door with a heavy thunk! Hot palms sneak under the hem of his shirt, trailing upwards to press against his stomach and chest. His head is spinning, so torn between the fear of getting caught and wanting nothing more than to give in to his neglected desires.
All it takes is the brush of fingertips against his sensitive nipples and he’s a goner. With teasing strokes, Katsuki rubs the raised peaks in circles and pinches. The moan that tears from Izuku’s throat startles them both as it echoes loudly in the barren room.
Without turning around he already knows Katsuki’s grin is positively feral.
“Now, Deku,” Katsuki says as he unbuckles the front of Izuku’s pants. “Be good and keep it down, yeah?”
Izuku nods and removes one of the hands pressed against the door to cover his mouth. It’s just in time too, because as he does Katsuki pinches his nipple hard and shoves his free hand into the front of his jeans. Muffled moans flood the room and his fist pumps over Izuku’s cock just how he likes it— a loose grip near the base and squeezing tight near his sensitive tip.
Katsuki flicks his wrist with each jerk, his fingers smearing the pre-cum that clings to the tip, making each stroke glide smoothly. Izuku lolls his head back, resting it on the broad shoulders propping him up. He’s rewarded with small bites and licks along the column of his neck and soft kisses behind his ears. Breathy grunts of pleasure spill from Katsuki’s lips as he grinds against his ass, chasing his own pleasure as he toys with Izuku.
“ Ah! Kacchan, so good,” Izuku whines between parted fingers, thrusting up to meet each stroke. He’s hitting all the right spots, and heat begins to rapidly pool low in his stomach. “I’m close, Kacch— Hey! ”
Just as he’s nearing sweet release, Katsuki pulls away all contact.
“Don’t worry. I gotcha, nerd.”
He drops to his knees and brings Izuku’s pants down with him till they’re pooling around his ankles. For a moment Izuku panics. The cold air hits his bare ass and he realizes just how exposed he is. His senses come rushing back to him, reminding him that their real estate agent is wandering around somewhere outside.
Then again… Katsuki begins to pepper soft kisses along the backs of his thighs, leading closer and closer, and goddamnit he’s too weak for this. Fully tossing caution to the wind, Izuku arches and pushes his ass backward to give Katsuki better access.
“Now that’s more like it, Deku.”
It’s the only warning Katsuki gives before he’s hooking a thumb between Izuku’s cheeks, spreading them apart, and diving in face first.
“Kacchan!” Izuku whines loudly, pushing back and desperate for more contact as Katsuki swirls his tongue against his puckered hole. “Please. Kacchan, please! I need it.”
He feels the chuckle more than he hears it. It sends a wave of pleasure shooting up his spine as it vibrates his most sensitive parts. Katsuki—of course—ignores his pleas. He always does. Instead, he flattens his tongue, licking in thick stripes along his hole and sneaking away to steal nips at the meat of his ass.
Izuku’s legs shake under the weight of his own pleasure. He pushes his hips back repeatedly and reaches down to stroke his abandoned cock. Only then—when he’s babbling nonsensically and struggling to hold himself up—does Katsuki give in to his demands and thrust his tongue inside.
His nails dig into the white wooden door, chipping the paint in the process. Biting his lip isn’t nearly enough to hold back the sounds spilling out of him. They pour freely into the open air, bouncing around the room like they’re trying to break free for the world to hear. Katsuki’s tongue glides in deeper, alternating between licking his walls and full-on tongue fucking him with steady thrusts.
“Yes— oh fuck —yes!” Izuku feels his sanity slipping away. He knows he’s being loud, but he’s unable to spare a hand or energy to silence the screams.
Katsuki continues his onslaught, reaching between Izuku’s legs and cupping his balls. He massages them with heated palms, letting his thumb press firmly just behind them as he does so.
Izuku is drowning in the sensations. All he can think of is a steady mantra of Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan , and suddenly he’s coming and moaning so loudly that it’d be a miracle for someone not to hear his cries. Katsuki coaxes him through his orgasm, milking every bit of pleasure out of Izuku until he’s reaching back to push him away with a shaky hand.
Turning around as much as he can, Izuku looks back at Katsuki. He’s red-tinged and panting heavily from being pressed tightly against his skin and positively covered in saliva. Katsuki gives Izuku a lopsided smile when he notices the attention, all too proud of his handiwork. It makes his pulse race with affection.
“Kacchan I—”
“Oh, boys! I’m sorry that took so long!” The agent calls up to them and their eyes go wide with panic.
They scramble—Izuku pulling back on his clothes while trying to balance on wobbly legs, and Katsuki sprinting to the bathroom to splash water on his face. They hear the click of her heels once more as she climbs the stairs toward the scene of their crime just as Katsuki is hurrying back. He quickly adjusts his completely neglected cock, tucking it snugly under the waistband of his pants to hide his less-than-decent state.
Izuku lets out a sigh of relief thinking they’re in the clear, but pauses when he sees Katsuki’s wide eyes staring right past him and staring directly at the…
“Oh shit! The door!” Izuku cries softly.
Chipped paint dots the floor in tiny white spots, and there are deep gouges along the wooden surface from his nails. That—perhaps—they could manage to explain away. The streaks of Izuku’s cum dripping down the wood grain was another story.
They look to each other for help, each one silently praying that the other has a solution. But it’s too late, they can hear her turning down the hall and Katsuki does the only thing he can think of.
He whips open the door and shoves Izuku out so hard that he almost smacks directly into unsuspecting the real estate agent. He catches himself just in time, but not without startling the small woman. She looks like she’s about to question their strange behavior when Katsuki pops out of the bedroom door and slams it shut.
“We’ll take it!” Katsuki shouts drawing all eyes on him. Izuku feels like he’s gonna faint. “We’re placing an offer on the house. Twenty percent over asking price!”
It’s enough to distract her from their suspicious behavior and she claps her hands together excitedly.
“Wonderful! The seller will be absolutely thrilled! Let me go grab you the paperwork for the next steps. I’ll contact them immediately, and we’ll get your lawyer to draft something up.”
She makes her way back down the stairs, still babbling about contracts and closing procedures as she goes. When she’s just out of earshot, Izuku leans close to Katsuki and whispers.
“I guess this is home sweet home.” It’s not how he thought they’d agree on a home, but somehow it seems fitting for their chaotic lives. “You better learn to live with those crooked cabinets, because this one’s on you Kacchan.”
Izuku laughs at Katuki’s sputtering and makes his way down the stairs. He looks around with fresh eyes at their new home, smiling.
It seems like it’s just a matter of time before they make those shower fantasies a reality.