Chapter Text
Simeon was… worried, to say the least. Staring down at his D.D.D, something heavy settled in his stomach.
Now, he wasn’t the best at technology, he could admit that, but he was reasonably sure that it wasn’t him who was missing any messages from Mammon. Sure, Mammon could get distracted every now and then and forget to answer messages, but he was pretty attached to his phone.
So the angel felt uneasy when Mammon’s messages and calls came few and far between. Usually, he’d never really need to start any conversations with Mammon, because the boy would be happy to do it for him, but… The avatar hadn’t reached out in around a month. He’d barely replied, let alone started the conversation himself.
Simeon had confronted him about it, sat him down and confessed how worried he was for the boy, but he hadn’t gotten a proper response. The second eldest had seemed confused at first, if a bit miffed, but had soon turned defensive and noncommittal.
But he’d known the boy for too long. He could see the fearful despair hidden carefully behind his apathetic expression. Simeon felt his heart break for the demon. Mammon had always been a hard one to get to open up, he had a habit of not even giving a hint that something was wrong until it was killing him.
So he should’ve known. He should’ve known to do something earlier, before Mammon hadn’t been seen in a whole week. According to the other demon brothers, the boy had a tendency to do this – to get into some sort of argument with his brothers and disappear until he got bored of running away.
The angel knew something was wrong though, no matter if they didn’t believe him. He just knew it, from the despair on the second eldest’s face when he thought no one was looking, to the lost glaze to his eyes while reading that book. After he thought about it, Mammon had been reading and re-reading that same dark blue book for…
He didn’t remember how long it’d been. The earliest he recalled the boy with the book was around two months ago, roughly. He remembered thinking it was a bit odd, but had left it up to Mammon needing to study or just trying to read more often, though the avatar had never been one for sitting still.
He’d ignored the goosebumps on his skin when he saw the book for the first time. Now he wished he hadn’t. Had Mammon gotten his hands on a cursed book? How, and why? Was it the cause of the boy’s disappearance? An image flashed in his head, of Solomon and Mammon and hushed words and uneasy glances.
The sorcerer knew something. If there was any chance of finding Mammon, of reversing whatever happened, he’d need all the info available. The Avatar of Wrath would be his next interrogation, as he would be the most likely to have any knowledge on a cursed book in general. Solomon first, however.
— — — — — — —
Solomon was… he didn’t think scared was the right word. More-so wary, he supposed. He had accidentally made one of the Avatars of Sin disappear. Or at least, he figured it was his fault. He had thought the spell would reverse the effects of Mammon’s cursed book, but he guessed it had accidentally done the exact opposite; push the avatar over the edge of being lost.
It wasn’t really his fault, but the demon brothers probably wouldn’t be the most reasonable. It was the main thing keeping him from telling anyone what happened; that Mammon was probably gone for good. It was selfish, he knew, to keep it to himself. But what use was there to bring light to it and risk his own wellbeing when the man was already dead and gone? Maybe if the demon had a chance to be saved, but now…
There was no use to dwell on it. He’d seen many die before, all there was to do was to keep moving. Moving required distraction, so he was glad when Simeon seemed to seek him out after R.A.D had finished for the day. He gave the angel one of his honeysuckle smiles, purposely ignoring the tension on the man’s face. “What brings you to me, Simeon?”
“What do you know about Mammon’s disappearance?” He was direct, blunt enough to make the wizard freeze for a moment. What does he know?
The white haired boy simply replaced his mask calmly, “What do you mean?”
“I saw you talking to Mammon. Surely those hushed whispers and furrowed eyebrows weren’t just about test scores, were they?” The angel crossed his arms, not accusing but not oblivious.
He opened his mouth to let a smooth lie fall from his lips, but he paused. Simeon wouldn’t tell on him, right? If anything, he’d be the best bet, actually, considering how cool-headed he was. The angel was probably the best he was going to get, really, so he’d take the chance. He shrugged, “You got me, I do know what happened to him.”
Perhaps he should’ve minded his words a bit, wincing as Simeon’s eyes lit up with hope, “You do? Solomon, why didn’t you say so! We have to go tell–”
“Wait wait, hang on,” the wizard quickly shut it down, “he’s gone, Sim. He’s dead.”
He watched the man’s expression crumble, but it was best not to let him hope for too long. “…What?”
“I’m sorry,” he grimaced, “but Mammon isn’t coming back. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”
“Solomon, come on, this isn’t time to joke around.” The dark haired boy reprimanded him, though it was clear in his eyes that he didn’t truly believe the man was joking.
He sighed, “There was a cursed book, as you might’ve already figured.” The sorcerer caught the recognition on his face; knew that he’d considered the book as well. “He told me he was seeing ghosts and stuff after reading it – I think he said he found it in Satan’s library originally.”
“So why–” Simeon met his eyes pleadingly, “why did you know about it? Why did he tell you and you’re only saying this now?”
For a few long moments, he just looked at the angel, pity and guilt on his face. “I tried to help. Tried to find a spell that worked, but…”
“But it didn’t work?”
“He disappeared after I did it. I think it worked with the curse instead; he’s gone, and I don’t think he’s coming back. I just have a feeling he’s dead for good. I think Barbatos knows too.” He admitted, averting his eyes.
Simeon nodded a bit jerkily, as if he’d kind of expected it. He eventually spoke up again, “Do you know where that book is now?”
“Nope,” the sorcerer shrugged, “somewhere in his room, probably. He never let me touch it.”
“Well, at least he was smart enough to keep it away from you,” the angel sighed, “We need to make sure no one else gets their hands on it though, no one else needs to disappear.”
— — — — — — —
They sifted through piles of stuff, looking for anything – any kind of hint, any kind of lead. They would feel guilty, but the owner wasn’t exactly around to ask, so MC figured it wasn’t that bad. It was in the spirit of helping him anyway, so they didn’t really care if they did get in any trouble either way.
Nothing, nothing, nothing. Come on, there had to be something here. Right?
Their hands brushed a camera, pausing. This could be it – this could be it! Heart pounding in their ears, they didn’t even care that they might be getting their hopes up for nothing, only focusing on fumbling with the buttons. Quickly, it turned on, and they navigated to the files. Their eyes widened at the number of files on the camera, and simply clicked on the first one.
Can’t play – corrupted file
Well… MC just had to hope that one wasn’t important. They clicked the next file.
Can’t play – corrupted file
Then the next one.
Can’t play – corrupted file
They fumbled through impatiently, though sure to check each and every file, resolving that there just had to be something on the camera.
Can’t play – corrupted file
Can’t play – corrupted file
Can’t play – corrupted file
Playing now…
They sucked in a sharp breath as Mammon popped up on the screen. He looked anxious, and they felt something heavy knot in their chest. Something was a lot more wrong than they had first thought.
A second later, though, they heard footsteps approaching from the hallway, and threw themself under the bed. As much as MC didn’t think they were particularly doing anything wrong, the remaining demon brothers weren’t exactly in the best mood, and getting caught snooping in their missing brother’s room? That was a recipe for getting murdered.
They clicked the camera back off, holding their breath anxiously as the door was pushed open. Someone stepped in, closing it behind them, before taking several steps further into the room. They squinted into the darkness as they heard rustling – were they searching the avatar’s room as well? Had they had the same idea?
After a few minutes, feet approached the bed, and the human watched with bated breath as they came face to face with… Simeon. Immediately, they let out a long sigh of relief despite the widened eyes of confusion from the angel.
“MC? Why are you under the bed?” The angel tilted his head at them, grabbing their outstretched hand to help pull them out. “Why are you even in here?”
“Same as you, I’m guessing,” they shrugged, “looking for hints of what could’ve happened to Mammon.”
The man hesitated, but after a moment he agreed with a small nod, “…Yeah, that’s what I’m here for. Did you happen to find anything?” Don’t have read the book, don’t have read the book, don’t have read the–
“I found this camera,” MC offered, holding it out for him to see, “there’s a lot of corrupted or missing files but I found one where Mammon appears. He looked really anxious, and the date on the file says he didn’t record it all that long ago. Could be a clue. I was just about to watch it when you came in.”
He nodded slowly, “Yeah, that could be right. Shall we watch it now?”
They gave a short nod, shuffling over to share the screen with Simeon. On the screen, the white-haired boy pulled away from the frame, running a hand through his hair anxiously.
“I don’t think I really need ta introduce myself,” he started, then glared at the camera, “if ya don’t know the Great Mammon, ya should be ashamed o’ yourself!”
The anger was dropped a second later, “Plus, hopefully no one ends up watchin’ this anyway. This is more of a, uh, ‘just in case’, type’a thing.”
That didn’t sound good. Maybe this would be a really good clue after all. MC bit their lip worriedly.
“You see… A few days ago, I kinda went into Satan’s room lookin’ for… somethin’ ta steal,” avoided looking at the camera as he said it. MC narrowed their eyes suspiciously; they knew the telltale signs of a Mammon lie. “Anyway, I, uh, came across this book, hidden right away somewhere underneath a whole bunch’a other stuff. It looked pretty unassumin’, ya know? It didn’t look like anythin’ else there; it didn’t even have the author’s name on the front, just the words ‘Listen to me’ in white against a dark blue fabric-y cover. There was some kinda sticky note on it; said somethin’ about ghosts and hallucinations but I couldn’t pick out much from it – the handwritin’ was pretty unintelligible. Worse than mine, somehow.”
Simeon’s brows furrowed at the mention of the book. So that was what he needed to look for. The angel looked away for a few moments to scan the room, hoping maybe it would be in plain sight.
“I, uh, I took it, though I didn’t actually read it for a bit, since I had a modelling gig to get to and stuff… Anyway, I eventually picked it up again and opened it. There was some sort’a plaque on the inside, but I didn’t really look at it. The story turned out ta be pretty simple, and short. There were only three characters; Girl, Dog, and The Shadow. Instead of narration, there were just simple drawin’s ta show what was going on. It was a little off-puttin’ actually, they looked more like they were drawn by a little kid rather than any professional. It was a pretty weird change in tone, too.
“It started off pretty childish as well. It just went through Girl’s life – showed her goin’ about her day, headin’ to school, comin’ back home to make lunch, doin’ her homework at this little desk in her room, lyin’ on her blue couch– Yeah, you get it. Really miniscule details. Then things get a bit weird, as Dog tells her that– Oh yeah, despite bein’ like a totally normal pet dog, he can speak for some reason, though it’s in third person and also pretty childish. He’s also like her only friend. Anyway, he tells her that The Shadow has been watchin’ her, and Girl tells The Shadow to go away. She tells it that her house is full, that it takes up too much space, that there’s just enough space for her and Dog.
“I was expectin’ it ta get real bad around here. The Shadow assures her that it won’t take up too much space, that it had just ‘been so very long since it has been looked at.’ Then – okay, this is the weird bit – it says, ‘I would like to have your eyes.’” He shivered, and the two found themselves shivering in turn, MC making a disgruntled face.
“I was expectin’ some real gorey crap here, but it really just lets Girl look at it. Then it thanks her, and she goes to bed. It goes on like that for a bit, but eventually The Shadow brings a friend. It does get a bit confusin’ here, since they don’t really differentiate between The Shadows, but it’s clear in the art that they’re two different characters.”
The Avatar of Greed kept talking, explaining what the second Shadow had asked from Girl, how it had been so very long since someone had held its hand, that they were cold and withered. He told them of how more shadows found their way to her, how she helped each of them – by reading one a book, by playing chess, by talking and talking.
“Girl keeps givin’ these Shadows what they want, and, in return, they let her sleep. But they always come back, each one, layered on top of each other, until Girl isn’t really sleepin’ because every time one lets her go another is there askin’ for somethin’ else. A hug. A smile. Food that goes untouched.
“Eventually, one shadow asks to sleep in her bed. It sighs wistfully, citin’ that it had been an eternity since it had last closed its eyes, been allowed to rest. Indeed, its eyes are red and teary, painfully dry with its gaze dead and awful.” He cringed, almost grimacing. The human shifted a little bit closer to Simeon, uncomfortable.
“But Girl says no this time, she says that her house is just too small, that there is no more space for her. She tells it of how her couch is not her couch anymore, that there is no room at her own desk for her to do her homework at, that she cannot find her dog. A Shadow shakes its head mournfully, ‘I need the couch, it has been so very long since I have sat.’ Another assures her that it will give back the desk as soon as it finished writin’ letters, ‘there are just so many things I need ta say, and it has been so long since I’ve gotten my hands on paper.’ A third sobs to her, face streaked with tears, that it had just wanted a friend. ‘I didn’t mean to squeeze so hard.’ It cries that it tried ta put it back together, but it had forgotten how to bend its fingers.
“I don’t think I need ta say anythin’ about how Dog looked when The Shadow tried ta hand it back. And I don’t want ta.” His voice was hoarse; haunted.
“The drawin’s have gotten way more realistic by now, gettin’ more detailed as I turned more pages. By now, Girl’s tryin’ to get The Shadow – The Shadows? It’s not really clear – outta her house. And she just keeps saying that it’s too much, there’s no room for her, it’s her house and there is no room. And The Shadow just looks at her, confused – like, really confused – while she begs it to respond. At this point, she’s on the floor, sobbing and begging, and the art style is almost realistic, and it’s so uncomfortable to look at but you just can’t look away and–” The Avatar of Greed cut himself off, trying to steady his breathing and slow his speech. “Slowly, the long, oddly bent, shadowy hand snakes across her shoulders, too tight, heavy and suffocating. The Shadow finally tells her something she’s known since the beginning…
“This isn’t your house. There is no room for you. And it has been so, so very long since you have had a place to call your own.” It was a whisper, breathy and pained for Girl. Simeon reached over to squeeze MC’s shoulder, an attempt at comfort.
“The end panel is just a horde of shadows,” he shook his head, eyes trained hard on the floor, “Girl is gone, or maybe she’s one of them. It’s hard to tell – they all look the same. And– that’s it. That’s the end, that’s all there is in the book. It didn’t give me any of the information that I wanted, but I just– I re-read it, over and over and over. I was just– Okay, I know how stupid it sounds,” he groaned to himself, and MC furrowed their eyebrows with concern, “but I was worried about Girl. And The Shadows. I know it’s dumb! Shut up! It’s just– I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about Girl, beggin’ and cryin’ and screamin’ ta get her house back. I couldn’t stop worryin’ that they wouldn’t get ta play their lives out anymore because I wasn’t there to help them, so they were just trapped in that book. So I just kept readin’ it, again and again and again.”
“I think I’ve seen him reading it,” the human admitted quietly, “but he ignored me when I tried to ask about it. It was weird for him, but I thought he was just mad at me or he had some important test soon that Lucifer had threatened him about…”
“There was this… morbid fascination with taking Girl back to a time where she had everything that made up her happy little life, back ta when she had Dog, when she had her couch and her desk and her bed and a house to call her own, and then just taking it. Taking it away. Over and over. I’m sure my brothers have noticed it, I think they’ve tried ta talk to me, but… I just couldn’t stop readin’. And I’ve… I’ve been seein’ ghosts, I think. It– It started out small, just, ya know, somethin’ outta the corner of my eye, turn ta see no one was there. I’d hear a voice, feel somethin’ cold against my skin, that kinda thing. Subtle, somethin’ I could easily brush off.
“But then– the other day, I saw one properly. I was just in the kitchen, waiting for my toast ta pop. I missed breakfast; guess I overslept and my brothers took off to RAD without me. Anyway, this guy walked in, just sat down calmly at the table. He was pretty tall, kinda gaunt, maybe in his late forties or early fifties. Almost baldin’, and wearin’ a simple button up shirt. But his throat was slit, practically from ear to ear, red gushing out all over the room… Funnily, my first thought when I saw it was that it’d be a pain ta have to mop up all that blood from the table, the chairs, and the floor before Lucifer came home. A second later, o’ course, I screamed bloody murder, and made a run for it. Lucky I was home alone, or else I might’ve gotten hung from the ceilin’ for makin’ such a ruckus.”
That was his first worry; that he needed to clean up, that he would’ve been punished for being loud? The angel felt something heavy knot in his chest. Lucifer had promised to take care of him – had the older demon failed that badly? He’d seen some of the mistreatment, but Simeon hadn’t imagined it had genuinely gotten that bad.
“That was– That was yesterday, I stayed in my room for what must’ve been an hour. He didn’t follow me, at least, and he was gone when I came back out. Got a few lashes for missin’ school though. Not like I could tell them what I saw, they wouldn’t believe me, and even so I’d probably get crapped on for gettin’ myself into a situation like this. That, and not bein’ able to handle it.
“I’m not exactly the brightest guy, but I figured keepin’ a bit of a log like this was a good idea. For if somethin’ goes really wrong, or gets much worse, and stuff. I’ve, uh, I’ve locked the book away, though. Ta stop myself from readin’ it more. So I hope things just get better from here. That’s it for now, I guess.”
The Avatar leaned forward, and the camera cut off.
“So the book’s locked away somewhere…” he hummed to himself, before looking over to the human, “MC, are there any more videos?”
They flicked through, “Yeah, the camera’s pretty full, actually. Though most of the ones I’ve tried to look at have been corrupted. This next one seems fine; look, Mammon’s in it again.”
When the screen clicked on, the two shared a look. Mammon looked noticeably dishevelled – had he been taking care of himself at all since the last video? They watched uneasily, listening to him ramble about the new bloody figures he’d been seeing, how he’d actually started interacting with them more.
“She treated me more like a person than a lot of other people have in a long while.” They tightened their grip on the camera, thinking of what that sentence really entailed. MC was quickly reminded of the book, of Girl talking to the shadows instead of real living people. But this ghost – these ghosts – were helping him with his homework, right? They were… nice.
Mammon echoed their own thoughts.
“They seemed much less like terrifyin’ apparitions and more just like people. O’ course, it was obvious they were dead – you could see it just by lookin’ at ‘em, from the wounds, to the blank look in their eyes, to the lifeless pallor of their faces – but talking to them, they looked almost normal, ya know? Plus, when I was talkin’ to them, I didn’t need ta read the book. I could put it down. Oh. Right… I– I hate ta admit it, but I got the book out again.”
The angel sucked in a sharp breath.
“It was just too all-consumin’, it was all I could think about, ‘specially since it wasn’t in my hands. There’s at least this peaceful sorrow when I’m holdin’ it. When it’s not there, it’s like I can’t breathe. So, I kinda started talkin’ ta the ghosts more often. I got on with ghost children, helped a few elderly ghosts cross the street – not that they really needed it, but hey, it’s the thought that counts – I let married ghosts sob about their lost lovers, and let bitter ghosts curse the ones who wronged ‘em. I ended up tellin’ ‘em a bit about my life too, and they all seemed to care. I figure they just hadn’t had someone else show interest in them in, well… in so very long.”
He bristled, glaring at the camera, “I’m not stupid. I may not be the smartest, but I’m not enough of an idiot ta not get what was happenin’. I got the parallel the second a small ghost boy in a gaggle of other bruised ghost kids shyly asked me for a hug. I just– I guess I figured it just had to be different. The Shadows in the story were bad and selfish. These were just people. Friends. Better friends than any I had in the livin’ world. They were nicer to me than my brothers, ya know?
It was their fault. It was because of them that Mammon felt that way. If the brothers had been nicer, if they had given more of their time to him… Maybe he wouldn’t have felt so welcomed by the ghosts.
“Just like Girl, I’ve, uh, spent way more time helpin’ them than I have eatin’, or sleepin’, or thinkin’. It’s just so much easier. And I feel good about myself when I do. I’m not bein’ greedy, or stealin’ things, or blowin’ money on useless crap. Most of the stuff in my room now isn’t even mine. And it’s a lot less cluttered in here now too. They need help and I can give it to ‘em, I have too much stuff anyways.” He shook his head.
But he couldn’t help that, MC wanted to scream – he was the Avatar of Greed, for crying out loud! It was his sin, and it wasn’t like anyone else had tried to help him with it anyway. Lucifer was always way too harsh on him.
“That’s why, when people stopped addressin’ me, I thought it was okay. It isn’t really that different from normal with my brothers, since they usually only address me when they think I’ve stolen somethin’, but since I haven’t done somethin’ like that in awhile, they haven’t really talked ta me at all.” He shrugs, then bites his lip, “It’s why I wasn’t really concerned when Levi jumped when I placed a hand on his shoulder, even though I’d made a pretty loud entrance already, or when MC left the room silently even though I’d been in the middle of talkin’ to ‘em.”
MC’s eyes widened. He’d barely talked to them at all! In fact, he’d barely left his room, especially around the date the file was made. What–
“Sure, I was confused when Simeon sat me down, sayin’ he was concerned about me bein’ distant, when he was the one ignorin’ my messages, but I didn’t think much of it. The ghosts still talked ta me, so I wasn’t too worried ‘bout it.” He shrugged lightly.
The angel shared the same look they’d given. Clearly, the dark haired man hadn’t gotten those messages, just as they hadn’t heard him talking. They both understood why when the demon continued.
“But, well… Yesterday, I was marked absent for a period I had been in. I had showed up, and for once I was present and attentive and tryin’ to raise my hand the whole class even if the teacher didn’t call on me at all. I tried to go gamblin’ that afternoon and no one counted my bets. Lucifer didn’t even give me any shit for comin’ back in so late, or “skippin’” class. He barely even acknowledged me. In fact, he vaguely greeted me with the fuzziness of someone who isn’t quite sure what they’re lookin’ at. It scared the shit out of me. Like, really badly. I think I started cryin’. I ran to my room and holed up there, sobbin’. I must’a woken up MC by slammin’ the door, since I heard them standin’ outside callin’ for me, askin’ me what was up. But I didn’t answer, an’ eventually they left.”
“Oh,” the human made a slightly strangled noise, “I think I remember that. I thought– I thought Lucifer had just yelled at him or something.”
“The ghost in my room looked at me sorrowfully. Well, they didn’t really have a face, just maggots crawlin’ through their skull, but I could feel their sympathy embrace me. They told me not to worry, that it wouldn’t be so bad. They held me, cooin’ that it had been so very long since I had been cared for. They said it wouldn’t be long before I wouldn’t be so very lonely anymore. That they would all try their best to be the friends I hadn’t had in so very long. I think I only bawled more.
“I don’t want to be lonely anymore,” he admitted, “but I don’t want to disappear either. I need to take care of my brothers. It’s my job. Before helpin’ the ghosts, my job is to help my brothers.”
Of course, Simeon thought, when faced with death, all he cared for was his brothers. There was something different about Mammon – while he had fallen like his brothers, he had never truly lost his virtue. In some ways, he was still the Angel of Generosity.
The demon shuffled back to take a seat on the edge of his bed, silent for a while before letting out a heavy sigh, “Ya know when I said I was riflin’ through Satan’s room for somethin’ to sell? That was a lie. Satan probably has the worst stuff to sell, really. I’d just go to Levi or Asmo if I needed somethin’ with real grimm value.” He rolled his eyes, before returning back to the important part of his statement, “What I was really lookin’ for, was somethin’ that could help my brother. Ya see, Luci’s been seein’ stuff. He won’t admit it, the prideful schmuck, but I could tell for a while that somethin’ was up. Especially now that I’ve been seein’ shit myself. I just– I thought maybe I could find somethin’ on hallucinations or ghosts or curses or some shit, and help him out.”
“Something’s wrong with Lucifer?” Simeon furrowed his eyebrows, “We should keep an eye on that. He’s… too prideful to ask for help, isn’t he?”
The human nodded slightly, though their attention was much more focused on Mammon than the eldest brother.
His voice grew softer. “Lucifer’s always savin’ me. Whenever I get myself into crappy situations, he’s always there to help me out, to make sure it works out. But there’s not much I can do for him, especially since acceptin’ help is, like, his least favourite thing to do. I thought maybe I could do somethin’ good this time, show ‘im he can rely on me, ya know? But, uh, I guess I fucked that one up pretty badly. Not that that’s outta the ordinary at all.” He grinned sourly.
“I guess I’m kinda relying on Lucifer to save me again this time… But that’s not really fair, is it? I can’t tell him. How do ya tell your brother you ruined yourself tryin’ ta help him? I need ta get outta this without him. I just don’t really know who else I could go to…” He furrowed his brows, thinking for a long moment, before brightening up with a grin. “Solomon! That crazy guy always has some weird spell or potion! Maybe he could come up with somethin’ to help me too. I’m prepared ta be his lab-rat for the year if he’ll help me outta this!”
“Solomon knew?” MC’s face twisted with fury, “And he didn’t say anything?”
“MC, please,” the angel reached out to touch their shoulder, hoping to calm the wrath before it broke, “we should keep watching, maybe we’ll get more answers.”
They didn’t seem happy, but they weren’t about to go put the Avatar of Wrath to shame with their own show of fury anymore.
Mammon’s grin wilted, his eyes darkening with anxiety. “But if I get back to normal, who’ll help the ghosts? They need my help.” He bit his lip harshly, his arms snaking around himself in the phantom of a hug. MC wondered if he even noticed he broke the skin. “I know what it’s like, to need help and have no one who will give it to you. I can’t just… leave ‘em like this! And there are so many of them, and there’s so much I need to do, I can’t just–” He curled up, letting out a shaky breath and trying to swallow a sob. “And– And I need to read– I need ta help Girl and Dog and The Shadows– But, my brothers need help too and–”
A choked sob tore from his throat. A spot of slight camera distortion glitched across the room. After a few seconds, he shifted slightly, as if someone had come to hold him, as if he could bury his face in their shoulder. Eventually, he regained his steady breaths, though still racked with a sniffle here and there. His voice came out soft, hoarse and cracked. “I’m just so tired… And it has been so, so very long since I’ve been able ta help myself…”
The camera turned off without him reaching for it.
“Oh Mammon,” MC crooned sadly.
The dark haired man reached out, “We should… take a bit of a break, MC.”
They snapped up to half-growl at him, “You think he got a break? He’s the one hurting here, not us. We have to help him. I’m going to play the next one.”
The angel sighed, but didn’t stop them. Once they had their mind set on something so serious, it was a bit dangerous to disagree. The feed started slightly distorted, though settled after a bit as the hand moved away from the screen. The white-haired boy looked tired but hopeful, eyes red and puffy.
“So, I went to Solomon about what’s goin’ on. It, uh, it was harder than you’d think. I had ta shake him maybe three times before he even realised I was there. But he seems to think he’s got an idea to help! Said he was pretty close with whatever he’s planning. I’m– I’m not really sure yet what I’m gonna do about the ghosts, I’m just tryin’ to help as many as I can before Solomon comes up with anythin’.
“I guess the scariest thing at the moment is my grades, really.” He forced a laugh. It only made MC wince. “They’ve never really been the best, o’ course, but they’ve been slippin’ even further. I swear my assignments have been disappearin’ the second I turn ‘em in. The only good thing here is that Luci hasn’t been on my ass about any of it, but I’d honestly be happier if he was. I’ve shown up to, like, every meetin’ after school too, and not even Diavolo has acknowledged me beyond a few cursory ‘hi Mammon’s in a few days now. I don’t think I’ve done much other than cry for a bit, since. I know the ghosts want to help me, but I don’t know what they can really do. I just want them ta let me out. But I don’t think even they know how to do that.”
He scrubbed at his face harshly, “I miss my brothers. They don’t even acknowledge me anymore. I’ve even taken a few of their things outta desperation! They don’t even notice it’s missing anymore! I’d give anythin’ ta have ‘em accusin’ me of shit again, even when I didn’t do it. I hate bein’ this damn weak, but it’s hard when there’s no one here who’ll crap on me for it. The ghosts understand, they just seem ta wanna help me.”
He was silent for a bit, before taking a deep breath. “I talked ta Barbatos the other day. I didn’t tell ‘im much, but I know he could tell somethin’ was real wrong. He sat me down for some tea. I didn’t really get a lotta the stuff he said, but he ended up sayin’ somethin’ about how he understood feelin’ lost. He mentioned he had a hard time connectin’ with people – though he didn’t go into much detail himself, I could really feel his anguish, and o’ course I completely understood that feelin’ myself.”
MC frowned, “We might have to check on Barbatos, too.”
“And then… Then he must’ve seen somethin’. Somethin’ o’ the future. He froze suddenly, an’ looked at me with this– with this pain, this sheer heartache. He told me– He told me to tell someone, practically begged me ta go find someone I trusted and tell them. To make sure someone knew. That was when I decided ta go to Solomon after all, since I’d been procrastinatin’ it before that.
“I ended up tellin’ Solomon about, ya know, the situation. I let ‘im know about the book, but even I’m not stupid enough ta give it to him. I needa find somethin’ to do about that book, actually. Give it ta Barbatos or Diavolo or burn it or somethin’. I can’t let anyone else read it, ‘specially one o’ my brothers. I can still be seen sometimes, but I don’t know how much longer that’s goin’ to be for, so I have-ta do somethin’ about it soon.”
“As much as I’d trust Solomon to be the one ta find a solution to this stuff, I’ve never been a very lucky demon, ya know? And pairin’ that with that damn sorcerer's affinity for magic mishaps… I’m not exactly very confident about any o’ this workin’ out. I just kinda hope he really does have a way to help me. I don’t want ta be lost. But if it doesn’t work out, at least I have these tapes. Someone’ll find ‘em and at least my brother’s’ll know what happened. I don’t want them to think I just left, or that I’m in danger or anythin’. That I could be helped when I can’t.”
“Of course he’s just worried about his brothers,” they sighed, “never about himself, huh?”
“Chances are, the first bet’ll be that I screwed myself over with those witches again. That’s probably the better outcome. But at the same time, I don’t want ta just be an unanswered question for ‘em. I can’t just leave ‘em without an idea of what happened ta me, or where I went. So, in a way, these video logs are my back-up. I gotta hope it never comes to that, o’ course, I’m just bein’ a bit cynical here. Gah! I miss Lucifer too much! I’m startin’ to sound like ‘im! The Great Mammon will come out o’ this perfectly fine! Just like I always do!”
His grin was almost convincing as he leant in to turn off the camera. The unwavering enthusiasm was something they’d always loved about the demon. They pressed their lips together in a thin line, “I looked ahead a bit, I think there’s only one more here. All the rest are corrupted or were taken long before any of this happened…”
He hummed in response. Simeon already knew how it must’ve gone; he was only still watching to calm MC’s wrath, and to figure out what the white-haired boy had done with the book.
“Simeon,” the human gave a strangled breath, “something’s wrong.”
The angel turned his attention back to the camera, noticing they’d already started the final video. They were right. Something was wrong, so so wrong.
The feed distorted horribly, but his tear-streaked face was still visible through the video’s corruption. He looked smaller, curled up on his bed with his arms around his knees. His shoulders shook spasmodically as he tried to gasp for breath between violent sobs. Space in the video seemed to distort around him, some weird buzz trying to drown out his hoarse voice in the recording.
“Mammon..?” He murmured quietly, as if the boy could hear. MC made a strangled noise.
“Solomon’s spell went wrong. He was tryin’ ta help, but it didn’t work at all. It made everythin’ worse. I can’t– I feel so much more hollow– I feel so detached, I’m scared ta look in the mirror because I might not be there– Shit, I’m fuckin’ terrified, I don’t know what to do. No one will look at me. I just got off the bus to get home from Purgatory Hall and I didn’t have ta pay the fare. I never thought I’d be upset ta not lose money but I don’t know what the hell to do anymore. Lucifer didn’t even give me his disappointed frown when I got home late, he didn’t scold me for missin’ classes, or stealin’ somethin’, nothin’. My teachers don’t even send me assignments anymore. I was sitting on the couch in the lounge and Levi tried ta sit on me, before apologisin’ and forgettin’ the second he looked away.”
He buried his face in his hands, wailing with distress, “I’m gone now in a way I wasn’t before! And I don’t know how ta come back from it! I don’t know what ta do, and now I can’t tell anyone anythin’ because they can’t see me anymore! Have they even noticed? Can they even notice, or do I not even get that?! Is– Is this what I get for bein’ so greedy with everythin’ else?! I didn’t mean ta! I just can’t control my bloody sin! Why am I the only one punished for it?! Am I that awful of a brother?! And now I’m just going to leave them– I don’t know what to do, is this really it?!”
They nearly dropped the camera, flinching back as if they were physically struck, eyes pained and face pale. Simeon wasted no time catching it one-handed, gently leading them to sit down on the bed so they wouldn’t just collapse. His own grip on the camera was white-knuckled as he turned his focus back to the video with a grimace.
His head snapped up to something invisible, simply marked with more distortion on-screen. His face twisted with anguish and bitterness, “Just leave me alone! There’s no room for me anymore! What makes you think there’d be room for you?!” He flinched back violently from the venom in his own words, sinking back into himself regretfully. The distortion hovered at the edge of the screen for a moment, before several more warped spots moved closer in tandem to combine with the boy’s own.
The angel wanted to reach out, take the boy into his own arms and keep him safe. But he couldn’t. Not anymore. At least now there was no more reason for him to keep any composure, so he didn't. Finally he broke completely, sobbing into the shoulders of others lost like him. Mammon let himself mourn; for what he’d lost, for what he was losing, and for what he’d never have again. For what his brothers were losing.
Eventually, he quietened down to mere sniffles. “Stuff like this’ meant to have a happy endin’, isn’t it? So where’s mine? Maybe– Maybe it’s better this way. I won’t be stealin’ stuff anymore, I won’t be ruinin’ Luci’s image, maybe my brothers can just be happy without me.” He scrubbed at his face tiredly, “I probably have a better chance of scarin’ away whatever ghost’s botherin’ Lucifer this way, anyway.”
“Oh, Mams, no…” he heard MC murmur. He felt as if he’d eaten something sour, and he was sure his pinched expression matched the sentiment.
He looked up, staring straight into the camera. His eyes were red, with something dead and awful in his gaze, his complexion almost gaunt and his hair unkempt. “To whoever may find and watch these… I’m sorry ta ask for anythin’ more after all this, I don’t want ta be greedy, but if you could tell my brothers I’m not comin’ back, I’d really appreciate it. I don’t have much to give ya in return, but if you see anythin’ in my room that you like, feel free ta take it.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able ta record much more. There’re others who have things they need to say too, and I think I’ve hogged the camera long enough.” A bitter and apologetic smile sourly twisted his face, “Thank you. For listenin’. For watchin’ my story to the end. For seein’ me. It has been so, so very long since I have had anythin’ to call my own. Thank you for givin’ me your time.”
The ghost reached forward, and the camera was overcome with distortion before his hand even enveloped the screen.
He put an arm around MC, watching the blank screen as if he could learn something, anything, more from it. The dark-haired man gave their shoulder a comforting squeeze absent-mindedly, going over all of Mammon’s words in his mind. Where was the book, then? The demon hadn’t mentioned it again since taking it back out.
It evidently wasn’t anywhere in his room. Had he given it to Barbatos? To Satan, maybe? Surely they would’ve mentioned something about it by then, though. He had to do some more snooping.
Simeon was broken out of his thoughts by the human suddenly standing up from beside him. “We need to tell them. They need to know.”
He definitely agreed, but at the same time, it wasn’t the safest to do. “We have to be careful, though. You know the state they’re in right now, and you know how quick they are to anger normally as well.”
“I know,” they pressed their lips together in a thin line, “I’ll figure something out.”