Work Text:
Ollie was sitting on the bed, leg bouncing hard against the stained floor below him. His fingers were tangled in the covers tightly, knuckles turning white as he scrunched it between them.
He could feel his heart slamming against his ribs, setting a bruising pace. He shouldn't be this nervous and yet, there he was , about to have a panic attack over the thought of his partner coming home.
Unable to keep the nervous energy inside any longer, the blond stood, pacing a hole in the carpeted floor as he walked.
“They’ll be fine with it, right? God, I don’t know. Maybe I should just keep it to myself. I can suck it up, right?” He rambled to himself, hands fisting in his hair and taking out the anxiety on himself. Ollie paused for a moment before shaking his head, dislodging his hands.
“No, they said to communicate and tell each other what we are feeling. And this is like… kind of a big deal? Oh god, I don't even know anymore.” The poor man was so scared.
He knew that he wasn’t
supposed
to be like this, that he was supposed to enjoy it but he could never bring himself to go through with it.
He had felt so disgusted with himself for the longest time.
Why couldn’t he just be normal?
But through the power of the internet
(and some long, intense, hours of therapy)
, he had learnt that he was asexual.
It was a big scary word and he hadn't wanted to bring it up to anyone for fear of judgement and abandonment, so he avoided relationships entirely. But you, you were too special to let slip through his fingers.
Some more pacing and rambling later, and he heard the telltale sign of your keys in the door. He let out a squeak of fear, heart rate increasing ten-fold.
“Ollie? You home, pretty boy?” You called out, confused. Today was his day off and he had promised you cuddles once you came home.
Odd .
“Y-yeah. I’m in the bedroom” His shaky voice called back, hands trembling by his sides.
His mind was a racetrack, looping the same responses over and over but none of the slowing down his thoughts.
Your eyebrows furrowed and you walked into the room, taking in his clearly anxious form.
“Are you okay, honey?” Was your immediate first question. Ollie simply shrugged, standing in the corner.
“Can… Can you sit down please?” You could hear the waver in his voice and complied instantly.
Had you done something wrong?
“I have something to tell you.” He admitted, voice laced with tears and your mind immediately spiralled.
Had he cheated? No, Ollie would never .
Was he sick? Possibly.
Did he get fired? No, you would’ve heard about it.
“Okay, tell me.”
He took a huge breath, turning to face you. Seeing your worried eyes had him immediately cursing himself, why couldn't he just be brave and tell you already?
Tears burnt the back of his eyes and he knew he needed to get it out before he became a sobbing mess.
“So, um I've known this for a while, but you’re just so nice and kind and I didn’t wanna do anything that could possibly jeopardise this relationship, but you always said we need open communication so I knew I needed to tell you but I just got so caught up in my head and every time I thought about telling you I was all scared and couldn't do it and then that lead me to putting it off over and over again-” He heaved in a breath, slightly panting as he didn't take any pauses during his rambles. “ Imasexual .”
You close your eyes, trying to decipher his words. “You’re asexual?” You asked, making sure you heard him correctly. He flinched, taking it in a way you didn’t at all mean.
This was where you broke up with him, hated him for lying, and started yelling at him.
“Okay.” You smiled calmly, meeting his eyes. He blinked, tears steadily flowing from his cheeks.
‘Okay’? That’s all you were gonna say? No break-up? No yelling? Huh?
“I… what?” he breathed out in an exhale, body deflating. You could see the stress and anxiety weighing him down.
“Oh Ollie.” You sighed, standing and taking his wet face between your hands.
He wasn’t supposed to be crying, but you also weren’t supposed to react like that, right?
“Loverboy, I honestly don't mind. I started dating you for your personality and yeah, your looks but only because you’re so fucking cute. You taught me what real love feels like, how it feels to trust someone entirely and have all those good feelings reciprocated.” He blushed, sniffling but now leaning into your hold more.
“Yes, this changes some things about our relationship, but I am so glad you told me. I would never want you to force yourself into something you weren’t okay or comfortable with. I love you, Ollie.” You pressed your foreheads together, eyes slipping closed as he melted into you.
What did he do to deserve you?
“I love you too…” He said it almost like a question. Laughing slightly at his adorableness, you brought your thumbs up, wiping away the tears that tracked down his beautiful face.
“Now, I do have some questions. Are you okay with answering them now, or do you wanna just cuddle for a bit?” You questioned seriously, his mental health was your priority.
His heartbeat was steadily slowing and he could feel the adrenaline leak out of his body at your acceptance.
He had been so worried all for nothing.
“Can we do both? I wanna cuddle with you but I'm okay to answer some stuff.” You nodded, quickly getting changed out of your work clothes before jumping on the bed with him.
Pulling him onto your chest, you could feel him growing more comfortable. He loved that you knew he preferred the close-contact comfort. “Okay, so first off, what is completely off the table?” Despite your serious tone, it relieved him so much that you were open and willing to talk about this.
“Umm, I’m not okay with doing it at all. I can think about sex, but I never wanna put it into practice.” He spoke clearly, eyes half fluttering shut as he felt your fingers work their way through his hair, scratching at his scalp lightly.
“Got it. Are you okay with talking about it?”
“Mhm.” He hummed.
The next few questions passed like that. Ollie let out a sigh as you finished, melting fully into you.
“Ollie? Thank you for telling me, seriously. I love you honey.” You kissed his head, wrapping your arms around him tighter. He squeezed you back, face burying into your side. “We can have a small nap, today was stressful for you.” You set a two hour alarm and snuggled further into his hold. He was okay, you had him.
“I love you too.” He whispered before falling asleep happily.