Chapter Text
Malleus summoned his viola into his hands. After positioning the instrument under his chin, he began to play an old tune, one that Lilia had liked. Each melancholy note hovered in the air, present only in this tiny pocket of existence that he had created.
He sat on the corner of his bed. Naked, of course. Behind him, Rollo lay, his skin thoroughly marked. Malleus’ tail rested across his thighs. Pierre, Leopold, and Marie clustered together two floors above them, silent for now.
Paradise.
Rollo loved him. More than that, he belonged to him, to the extent that no other living, breathing creature could even perceive him. Good. Something deep within purred at that knowledge.
No filthy thieves could steal his treasure.
Rollo did complain about their circumstances from time to time… Indeed, he grew quite angry about it on occasion. But that was the emotion he tended to take refuge in when faced with something out of the ordinary, so it did not concern Malleus. Rollo would see that he was right, one day. Here, nothing like aging, illness, or death could sap his vigor. This was their sanctuary.
No one could protect him like Malleus could.
Thus, they should remain here as long as possible. That required keeping Rollo entertained, but they couldn’t have sex and nothing else for months or years on end. Not that Malleus was unwilling to try… Still, it would be best if he would agree to learning an instrument. Maybe they could perform together, each having an audience of one. Ah, how romantic…
Malleus closed his eyes as he continued playing. Would Rollo prefer the violin? The cello? Something else?
The bed shifted. Legs slipped out from beneath scales.
Rollo pressed himself against his back and looped his slender arms around his waist. He was straddling his tail. This variety of intimate act had not been uncommon during their internships, but had evaporated within the bounds of their safe haven. Malleus’ heart skipped a beat.
Long fingers meandered about his torso, leaving electric trails everywhere they touched. Malleus flubbed a note. There was no way he could continue with this piece if Rollo was going to command so much of his attention. He set his viola aside.
A soft noise vibrated in Rollo’s throat. He settled his chin on Malleus’ shoulder—another move he hadn’t made in quite some time. Why now?
“Malleus…”
“Yes, my beloved?” Malleus leaned into his embrace. “Are you lonely?”
A pause. “Well… I was thinking about our internships…”
“Oh?”
“I wish I had become comfortable introducing you as my lover earlier… I never was able to outright tell Valentin and Adelard about us.”
They likely knew. Rollo’s parents, Malleus’ senior at the bakery, the students and teacher in the class Rollo assisted—they all were aware of their relationship. Plenty of people had witnessed them walking while holding hands. Doubtless some would recognize Rollo and inform others that he had a lover.
Still… Taking those two aside to tell them that he was in love with Malleus would have been nice. Especially the one with brown hair.
Malleus let out a short hum. “That is indeed a shame. You will have the opportunity to correct that, though.”
“I hope so. I might not be able to do it before—…” He hesitated, swallowing hard. “Before leaving for Briar Valley with you.”
Until this point, they hadn’t reached a consensus about what to do after graduation. They had discussed it here and there, but Rollo wanted to go to university in Fleur City and Malleus could not put off returning to Briar Valley any longer.
Now he was willing to acquiesce? To abandon his plans? Why?
Perhaps all this time together had made Rollo dread valediction as much as he did.
Malleus turned to look at him. Rollo stared back, searching his eyes. For what? Approval?
“Rollo… Are you sincere in your desire to depart from Fleur City? I could certainly have you trained to be an instructor in my country. Within the castle, if that appeals to you.”
Averting his gaze, Rollo moved his hand to rest on top of one of Malleus’. “I am. And I want to go as soon as possible.”
How eager. Not that Malleus minded… This would mean that they would never have to spend time far apart again. Yes, he could understand Rollo’s insistence to move into that phase, but there was no rush. He had so few years remaining—they should savor this interlude.
“How pleased I am to hear you say that. After we have no need of this space, we will bid farewell to Fleur City. Then…” He smiled. “You will be my consort, once I wear the crown.”
Such a statement should have been met with satisfaction, but Rollo frowned. It lasted just a trice before he adopted a softer, almost demure expression. He gave Malleus a peck on the lips.
“Malleus,” he said. “You’ve asked me to bear your child more than once. I… am amenable to the idea.” Face pink, Rollo fiddled with Malleus’ hair. “I would like to start a family with you.”
A family… Something he’d never had, not like other people. Sebek had his parents and his siblings. Silver had Lilia and vice versa. Rollo had a mother and a father, though that bond seemed strained. Brittle. In the past, he’d had a younger brother he had loved dearly… Regardless, it was more than Malleus had experienced.
His grandmother meant well, but had not had the time to care for him as a parent would. Lilia best fit the role of caretaker, but he was not his father, not like he was to Silver.
With Rollo, however, he could have a family. They could raise a child. He was apparently willing to let Malleus sire an heir, using him in lieu of a woman. The resulting offspring would be equal parts himself and Rollo, fae and human…
“Such a thing would require powerful magic. Are you certain?”
“…Yes. But we can’t do this if time doesn’t move.”
“It will have to wait.”
Rollo’s eyes widened. “Wait? You want to put this off? …How long?”
It always came down to this question. There was no way to measure something like that within this stopped moment and that would not change no matter how often Rollo asked.
“I do not know. Until I feel that we should return to our day to day lives.”
Initially, Rollo had no reaction to that information. He simply stared. Then his face went ashen, as though all light had fled the world. He withdrew from Malleus. “Even promising to have your child will not satisfy you…”
That was ridiculous—knowing that they would unite and produce offspring was fulfilling beyond his expectations. Malleus opened his mouth to explain.
The tears welling in Rollo’s eyes made him stop cold. His stomach clenched.
He was crying? Why? What had him so upset?
Malleus had not seen him weep since his interaction with Ortho. Grief for his brother had overwhelmed him, then. Perhaps imagining a family had brought thoughts of his brother to the forefront again?
Before he could ask, Rollo whirled around and heaved himself off the bed. He stormed away, bare feet slapping against the stone floor, as his shoulders trembled.
Malleus hurried after him. This ersatz bell tower was not large, and Rollo wouldn’t rush upstairs to the gargoyles without clothing, so he had few places to go. In an empty, dusty corner of the room, Malleus caught up to him. Rollo grunted as he found himself faced with a wall.
Malleus reached out and grabbed his arm. “Rollo—”
Over his shoulder, Rollo scowled, two wet trails on his cheeks. “Unhand me,” he said through his teeth.
Malleus released him. He had been so affectionate a moment ago… “Rollo, what’s wrong? How can I soothe you?”
A new wave of tears swelled. He rubbed at them, sniffling. “You don’t know?" he asked, the words hushed.
“Is it about your brother?”
Rollo faced him, mouth agape. All at once, his melancholy fled and he glowered, a vein throbbing in his forehead. The picture of rage. “You… nescient wretch. You cretin! You loathsome, odious lout! You think this has nothing to do with you?!”
Malleus went still. An angry Rollo was not unfamiliar to him. The tears, perhaps, had been a brief outburst, but fury was nothing to be concerned with. Rollo would adapt, eventually.
Gritting his teeth, Rollo advanced a pace. He glared at him with such a piercing intensity that Malleus found himself taking a step back.
"I’m sick of this place! I can endure it no longer! I refuse to be stuck in this never-ending nothingness, this lifeless domain you control. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t see the sun rise, I can’t take a walk… And what can we do, hm? We fornicate endlessly, no doubt something you’ve magically ensured, occasionally speak to Pierre and the others, and indulge in your hobbies.” Rollo sneered. “All perfectly orchestrated for yourself. How wonderful for you.”
For… himself? “That isn’t true—I did this for you. To keep you safe and to make up for lost time.”
“Safe!” Rollo’s lips twisted, as though he was debating whether or not he wanted to spit on him. “Like something encased in glass—sterile and unchanging. The pomposity to claim you’ve done this for me…”
“But you are invulnerable, here. Nothing can hurt you. Even the common cold cannot reach you, let alone anything that could do lasting damage. You are secure. Guarded.” Malleus shook his head. Why didn’t he understand? It was so simple! He took Malleus’ good intentions, his sincere wish for him to be protected, and contorted it into something horrible. How dare he? Why did he refuse to see reason?! “Out there, your demise awaits! Does that not dismay you? One day, you will grow old and leave me behind, like everyone else!” Malleus roared. Thunder and lightning crashed against the backdrop of static stars. “I refuse to accept that fate!”
Rollo recoiled into the wall, pallid. He shook like an unsteady lamb. In the depths of his gray-green eyes lay… fear.
Malleus flinched. His beloved Rollo gazed upon him, dreading what he might do, like so many others had. And, indeed, he was at his mercy. Rollo was not a weak mage, but the difference in power between them was insurmountable. If Malleus wanted to hurt him, he could. That was all there was to it.
Icy slush roiled in his gut.
“My apologies, Rollo, I— My passion got the better of me… I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
Rollo gave him a strange look, but his quivering lessened. He wiped his eyes again. “Is that your explanation for this situation, as well?”
“I did this—!” He hesitated, choking back the anger that had threatened to spew forth a second time. Such rage would only petrify Rollo. “I wanted to be by your side as long as I possibly could. Is that… unreasonable?”
“Malleus…” A fresh sob took hold and he hiccupped. “What is the use of keeping me here, like this? It’s horrendous. Torture. Do you think I’m happy, here?!”
That hadn’t occurred to him. Was he happy?
Looking at Rollo now, no one would assume that he was in anything less than despair. That realization hit Malleus so hard that he jerked as if Rollo had landed a physical blow.
Here, with him, basking in each other’s company uninterrupted… and Rollo was not happy. He was weeping. He thought Malleus a tyrant. As the man who had coordinated his misery. As a threat.
Back then, on the first birthday he’d had the privilege of sharing with Rollo, he had told him that he wanted to please him. To make him happy.
And he hadn’t.
Worse, he had wounded Rollo. To the quick, it seemed.
When had he forgotten his goal? At which point had he tossed Rollo’s feelings aside and went forward with what was best for himself? Lilia had noticed… He had told him to be careful not to upset Rollo and he hadn’t listened.
But his efforts to prolong his existence had been for Rollo’s sake. That was the entire point. Wasn’t it? Then why hadn’t he listened to Rollo’s objections? Why hadn’t he made things more comfortable for him?
Why had he opted for a stratagem instead of a strategy?
“Even bowing to your whims does me no favors,” Rollo continued, every word dripping with woe. “Abandoning my home and altering my body mean nothing to you. You accept it without question, as if it were a given that everything should cater to you, and tell me that we will do all of that later. Ugh! If I had known it would turn out like this…!” Rollo slid against the wall until he was sitting on the ground. He buried his face in his arms.
There, naked, covered in bite marks, whimpering as he cried… Anguish radiated off Rollo.
Bristling, icy needles pierced Malleus’ heart, each one sliding through meaty walls centimeter by centimeter. Rollo’s pain was agonizing, and yet he couldn’t turn away. He longed to embrace him and hold him to his chest, but did he have the right? Would he tolerate it?
What if Rollo had fallen out of love with him? A terrifying possibility and Malleus would have no one to blame but himself.
Malleus knelt beside Rollo, but made no moves otherwise.
“I’m sorry, Rollo. Words are not enough to express the regret I feel, knowing what I do now.”
Rollo turned a cautious glance toward him. “…Th-Then explain it to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your regret.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I’m unsure if you genuinely understand…”
That stung. But was it unwarranted?
“I forced you into something you detest. I longed to have more time with you… but I never felt the need to ask what you desired. I assumed you would want what I did. I was wrong. Not only did I fail to make you happy, but you’ve suffered.”
There was a pause. Rollo then gave a sigh, not one of relief, but of fatigue. “When will you free us?”
Malleus grimaced. “Whenever you wish.”
“Do it now.”
“Now? Neither of us are wearing clothes.”
“I don’t care!”
Nodding, Malleus took magical hold of the thread that tethered his power to this tiny world he had manufactured and… paused. To do this meant allowing age to infect Rollo. His most treasured possession would slip through his fingers.
…Possession?
Malleus’ tail sagged to the floor.
He tugged. His magic unraveled, collapsing in a matter of seconds.
The air grew warm. Summer.
His bed, instruments, and the bathtub disappeared—all belonging to another plane. Their clothes lay in crumpled piles on the floor.
Rollo hauled himself to his feet and hurried past Malleus to the edge of the tower. Beyond, the lights of various homes glowed and flickered. Wind tousled his hair. He took a deep breath.
“It’s over…” he murmured.
As though approaching a fawn, Malleus inched over to him, but did not breach the last two meters around Rollo.
What now? Should he say something? If so, what? Nothing came to mind. Well… nothing aside from endless apologies.
“Rollo… I’m sorry.”
Precious seconds ticked by. Rollo said nothing and gave no indication that he had even heard him.
It was over, wasn’t it? Just as Rollo had said. His mistake had been so dire that Rollo’s heart had hardened. Rather than lose him to death, he would forfeit him far sooner. Rollo would find another human in Fleur City, marry, and have children with them while Malleus lived a life of kingly drudgery. One day, he would pass, and Malleus would have no idea. If Rollo spurned him tonight, Malleus may never see him again. His duties would not even allow him to visit his grave.
What had he done?
The temperature plummeted around him. Malleus trapped it in a cylinder around himself, to avoid hurting Rollo more than he already had. Ice crystals formed in his hair.
“I’m exhausted,” Rollo mumbled, still watching the city below. “At least I’ll be able to finally sleep…” He shifted, meeting Malleus’ gaze. What he saw made him jolt. “You—! Tch…” Frowning, Rollo went over to him and began to brush the snowflakes off his head and shoulders. “You buffoon… Don’t freeze yourself to death.”
“…It would take more than this to kill me…”
Rollo scoffed, pulling back. “So petulant. If you’re determined to sulk, then go ahead.” He gathered his clothes and started pulling them on. “Go back to Night Raven College when you’re through pouting. Graduation is tomorrow, unless you’ve forgotten.”
“I haven’t. But Rollo…” Malleus drooped. “What happens now? Between us?”
He slid his arms into his sleeves and busied himself buttoning up his shirt. Once he had completed that step, he shook his head. “You’ve apologized. I do not forgive you.”
Malleus took in a breath to speak, but got no farther. He swallowed and tried again. “Does that mean we are… no longer lovers?” he asked, each word stretched tight.
Dark green eyes stared at him. Silent, but firm.
The world seemed to crumble under his feet. No. No, how could he salvage this? He couldn’t let his Rollo go!
“What can I do?” Malleus grabbed Rollo’s sleeve with a trembling hand. “I’m so sorry, Rollo… How can I convince you to love me again? Please, have mercy…”
Rollo squinted at Malleus’ wrist. Out of disgust? But he didn’t shove him away. “You imbecile… You’ve treated me terribly and I hate you for it.” His harsh expression trickled away and his eyes shined with new tears. “But… I still love you.”
How magnanimous his Rollo was! Malleus’ heart sang. There was hope! Beyond all odds, his beloved yet held affection for him.
“I will make this up to you,” he said in a rush. “Anything you ask, I will do. You will want for nothing. Whatever it takes, no matter the time or resources spent, I will prove the sincerity of my apology and regain your trust.”
Rollo pressed his lips into a thin line. Then, he gestured for Malleus to release him, which he hastily obeyed.
“I want to attend university in Fleur City.”
Malleus froze. Ah. Of course. Now that he had stumbled, Rollo’s home would be his primary love. Four years would be so much time drained from Rollo’s pitiful lifespan—the very thought made his chest tight. But he had no one to blame aside from himself.
“…Then so you shall,” he said, the words plummeting from his mouth.
This did not earn him a smile.
“In the coming days, you may collect your things from the apartment. For the moment, I want you to inform the gargoyles as to what has happened.” Now fully dressed, Rollo strode toward the stairs. “I’m returning home.”
“R-Rollo, allow me to at least accompany you there. It’s dangerous to walk alone at night…”
Rollo threw a cold glance his way. “No.”
Then he was gone, his footsteps fading as he descended.
The tie that connected them had frayed—a single, worn thread remained. Malleus had to do whatever he could to ensure it did not snap. If he lost Rollo…
No. He couldn’t think about it.
He rubbed at his cheek, only to find frozen teardrops there. Foolish. He magicked them away. After a moment’s thought, he did away with his tail, as well. The further he could get from his draconic nature, the better.
Once dressed, he trudged upstairs to explain his misdeeds to the gargoyles.