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Today was Marie’s day off, and she was spending it in a café, drinking a quality blend of coffee and finishing up the last few chapters of a novel. A nearby window brought in the perfect amount of sunlight to warm her up. It was a good break from the chaos of work and the busy streets of Splatsville, just a nice spot to simmer down and relax. With no interruptions in the way of this wonderful evening, Marie assumed nothing could possibly go wrong.
The vibrations from her phone sent Marie back to the present. After putting the book aside, she noticed the call was from Callie and picked up.
“What’s up?” Marie asked casually. She took another swig of warm coffee.
“Hey Marie! I know you might be busy right now, but I have some good news to share!” She could hear Callie’s excitement seeping through the phone, a contagious trait of hers that would quickly spread to those around her. Marie, on the other hand, knew that either something cool did happen, or that her cousin was on the verge of breaking a law.
“I'm listening, but why do I hear so much honking? Are you at the park or something?”
“Promise you won’t get mad at me?”
“Unless I’m missing out on gramps running from an angry goose again, then I’ll decide.” Marie earned a snort from her cousin.
“ Pft , I wish. Anyways,” Callie took a deep breath and added a few seconds of silence to the call for suspense, “I bought geese! A whole truck-full of em’!”
That delicious coffee mentioned earlier almost caused Marie to choke. There was no way that a truck of Cod-forsaken geese was parked in front of their shared apartment, waiting for her to come home and face a horde of feather-covered menaces.
“Hold up- you can’t be serious.”
Someone in the background asked for Callie’s signature. “One second please!” She said away from the phone, quickly turning back to respond. “You told me you wouldn’t get mad!”
“I- I’m not mad, just really, really confused. Send a photo.”
This had to have been one of her terrible pranks. Yeah, Callie could be impulsive at times when it came to shopping, but this was a stretch. Who wakes up and decides that they’re going to buy this many birds?
Who was she kidding, that sounded exactly like her.
Marie watched her phone, expecting to hear Callie shout ‘April Fools’ until a message popped up on the top of the screen, her upbeat notification sound in stark contrast to the situation at hand:
‘Callie sent a photo’…
-✩—==★==—✩-
“Catch you later!” Deep Cut said in unison, posing for the cameras one last time before they shut off. Even as the day’s news report finished, that didn’t mean they were. Every Saturday, Deep Cut would host their own podcast, an idea pitched by their producers as an effort to gain more fans and would add a boost to their paycheck for the extra work.
It was a hit! It took a few weeks before they were used to the new format, but soon enough there were discussions about their lives, talks of gossip that hit the streets of Splatsville, and lighthearted jokes cracked at one another every episode. There was never a dull Saturday when three clowns were given the chance to talk for as long as they pleased.
Today was no different, Shiver, Frye, and Big Man giving their signature introductions before starting on today’s topic. “If you don’t know already, today is one of my favorite days to bring terror upon the innocents of Splatsville: April 1st!” Frye put a good bit of emphasis on the ‘terror’ part.
“As if you don’t cause terror every day,” Shiver jokes, “but she’s right. Every year we have a tradition of giving our best prank call to one unlucky victim. This time, we have a special guest who will help us spice things up.”
“Ay, ay! [A special someone who needs no introduction, Callie!]”
“Hello everyone! It’s a pleasure to be able to join you all today.” Callie walked from the side of the set, waving at the camera before taking a seat at the table set up just for this occasion. She was a mix of nervous and excited. Although the experience of being a guest on someone’s talk show or interview was nothing new, there was a different atmosphere in Deep Cut’s studio. Callie felt like she could really let loose here and give her good-natured composure a break.
“Thanks for stopping by! You already explained your plans to us, so why don’t you tell the viewers about this interesting plan of yours?” Shiver asked, gently fanning herself.
“Gladly! There’s a certain someone who could really use some payback, that being my dear cousin Marie!” Callie stared daggers into the camera, pointing at the screen knowing well that Marie would watch the episode after the prank concluded. “Don’t think I forgot that little stunt you did this morning. Anyways, all I can say is that I made the whole thing up while on my way to you guy’s studio.”
“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s do this thing!” The ever-so eager Frye pumped a fist into the air, her enthusiasm shared by all of her friends.
“Here goes nothing. I hope this goes well!” Callie put her phone in the middle of the table and pulled up her contacts. Scrolling to the ‘M’ section she couldn’t help but smile while looking at the number’s icon, a picture of her and Marie taking a tired selfie after their first ever concert together. The phone was joined by two others which had sounds pulled up and were reasonably spaced away to add immersion to the call. When everyone was done giggling, Callie pressed the call button, a rush of relief when she heard a voice from the other side.
Everything was running smoothly up until Marie asked for a photo, Deep Cut exchanging glances with one another wondering how Callie would deal with the problem. “Don’t worry, I came well prepared!” A quick scroll through her camera roll and she sent a picture of her with a goose nestled in her arms, smiling like a kid on Christmas. The room grew silent, save the honking and truck noises from their phones.
“How did you manage to hold a freaking goose?!” Frye whispered a little too loudly. It was well known that no one messed with the locals of the pond, for their speed was unmatched and their power warded off anyone who dared get too close. Nevertheless, Callie was able to hold one without a single bite or scratch in sight.
“I’m not sure myself. Geese never really bothered me before, and it didn’t mind me picking it up either. Turns out they’re really cute up close!”
“…Ay? […Should you be our new boss?]” Big Man said what Shiver and Frye thought of themselves. What appeared to be a cheerful idol in public was a goose taming menace behind the scenes. One of the Splatlands’ most feared creatures turned mere pets in her presence. Who knew what would happen if they got on Callie’s bad side?!
“We’ll talk more when I get home. Bye.” The call abruptly ended. The studio filled with laughter, celebratory high fives passed around at managing to get one of the smartest people they know to fall for the prank hook, line, and sinker. Callie was ready to end it there until an idea popped into her head, grabbing her phone and fishing out the apartment key from her back pocket.
“I’ll need someone to come with me to the park. Get as many feathers as you can and I’ll meet you at the front of the apartments.” Frye volunteered to help, and she and Callie got to work on collecting stray feathers. Along with those, Callie decided to bring along a goose that she may or may not release later. The birds at the park were free, right?
“Maybe we can stretch this out a just a while longer.”
-✩—==★==—✩-
What was once a peaceful day off turned into a hurried car trip back to the apartment. The café she was at was pretty far in the city, and it gave Marie enough time to think over that call.
A mess of white feathers scattered on the front lawn of the apartment building, which led up to the door and continued down the hall. Marie followed the trail up the stairs and watched as they stopped right at the front of their room’s door. “Oh, Callie…” Digging for the keys and picking through the others, she found the right one and opened the door. “I’m here.” After hearing the familiar hum of her cousin, she looked towards the couch and stood there dumbstruck, wondering how the hell Callie got a goose to sit peacefully in her lap. The bird quietly honked in content as its feathers were pet like you would for any normal animal.
“Welcome back Marie! Say hi to Daisy!” Callie said casually, the goose staring back into Marie’s wide eyes. She quickly looked away, not wanting to spend any more time looking into something that could choose death at any moment.
“You were serious ?”
“Yeah! When I was on my way home I saw a flier for some guy selling all his geese for dirt cheap, saying they were ‘too much to handle’ and ‘they had chased him out of his home’. I felt bad for him, so I thought we could give these poor birds a new home!”
Marie could only sigh, looking at the other unassuming face then around the apartment. “I really don’t want to know, but where are the rest of them? You said there was-“ A faint noise came from her bedroom, then another, and soon a commotion of honking that made Marie drop her keys in utter disbelief. “…Callie, please don’t tell me you put them all in my room?”
“Sorry but I didn’t want all of that mess in my room. Besides, you could use some company.”
“If I open this door and there are seriously a bunch of geese in here, you won’t see the light of tomorrow.”
Marie went towards her room with caution, the honking growing as loud as her heartbeat. There was nothing terrifying about the situation, but it was so bizarre that Marie could help but feel afraid. Maybe the geese had already made the room their territory, and then she’d be a trespasser in her own home. ‘Here goes nothing’ She told herself, giving Callie one last hopeful look.
Slowly Marie opened her door and prepared herself to find…
A speaker? It sat there in the middle of the room, still playing sounds until she turned it off. There were no geese in the room, but there were a lot of questions swirling around her head before everything instantly made sense.
“April Fools! I totally got you~ There’s no way you could have-“
“Callie?” She looked up at her cousin upon hearing subtle malice in her voice, taking it as her cue to get her things together and leave. The goose looked up at her with sad eyes, upset that it was no longer being pet as Callie made her escape.
“Yes, Marie?”
“I’d advise you to start running. Heck, I’ll even give you a head start because I still can’t wrap my head around how you managed to tame a goose.” And that’s what Callie did, knowing well that one of the world’s greatest snipers wouldn’t let her talents go to waste. A minute of fumbling with the door’s lock and wishing Daisy the best in life, she was out of there and ran like her life depended on it (which it did). Things seemed hopeful up until Callie noticed a faint green light move across the grass and towards her back, a faint whine of a charger charging up a shot.
“Well, I tried.” Callie’s last words before her cousin took the shot. It wasn’t strong enough to splat her, but the green ink made any sort of movement futile. “Go ahead and hang up guys. It’ll be a while before we can meet up again in the studio.” Respecting the girl’s final wishes, Big Man hung up the call and Deep Cut was at a loss for words.
“Well that was something.” Shiver started. “
Everyone froze when Big Man’s phone started ringing, the number at the top looking exactly like the vengeful Marie’s. Shiver and Frye urged him not to answer, but the politeness in his heart made him pick up.
“A-Ay? [H-Hello boss woman Marie. How are you doing today?]”
“A little goose told me that you bunch had a part in this. I’ll give you guys the same chance as Callie, your time starting as soon as this call is over. See you all soon.” And sure enough, Marie ended the call.
“Sorry listeners, we’re going to have to stop this episode right here! Thanks for tuning in and…”
“Catch you later!” Deep Cut hurriedly gave their closing and got up from their seats, scrambling for the exit until their studio door was slammed open by an armed Marie, Callie showing up behind her cousin out of breath and covered mostly by green ink.
“I-I’m so sorry everyone. She’s just too… fast!”
“CUT THE CAMERAS! NOW!” Shiver demanded, the cameramen already on it before anyone could see the battle that went on from within that studio. Unless someone happened to pass by or were watching their beloved idols at work, then they saw that chaos that went down on that very April Fools’ Day.