Stranger

by frllngstrbrst

Summary:

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He just wanted to put her in her place so that she would finally act like a little sister should, but instead he got a stranger

Chapter 1

He doesn't understand his sister at all.

What she feels, and if she still feels anything.

And it’s harder for him to look at her each day more and more, because when he looks straight into her eyes he sees nothing.

Now he simply tries to avoid looking into them, because it sends a chill down his spine.

Because all he sees is a void.

It’s not like with Mai. His girlfriend's face is blank for most of the time, but he is still able to see these micro-emotions, how her lips corner twitch a little, when she smiles… how they become thinner, when she is angry with him, even if her voice is devoid of any emotion and anger as she speaks and argues with him.

Azula’s voice is now like that too, but she never argues with him and speaks only when she’s allowed to.

She never calls him anything other than “Fire Lord”, "My Lord" and “brother”, only his titles, and never his names.

He thinks that Kiyi compensates for it a little bit… When she calls him “Zuzu” it sounds nice and warm coming from her mouth, unlike Azula’s spiteful cold. And he was grateful for this at the beginning, to be honest.

But now all he sees is a stranger wearing his sister’s skin.

Perhaps, this is her plan, she sees how uncomfortable they are around and she secretly likes it.

Perhaps, it’s just like always it has been. Azula was a talented actress, after all, since she was a child. Lying and pretending is her profile. It was always so easy for her to lie to their mother, that it would only be an innocent play when she lured him into another trap.

Perhaps, his sister invented this new way to torture him and sabotage their family happiness once again, because even his mother, has asked him to prohibit Azula to have meals with them.

“She scares Kiyi, my younger daughter feels uncomfortable around her.”, she once said to him, when they were alone in his cabinet, her eyes full of sadness, “I understand things are complicated between us, but we can’t involve Kiyi into this… and Azula, she’s is ignoring my attempts… to connect, and she calls them… unnecessary.”

He was the one to deliver this to his sister and all he’s got for an answer was flat, “If you say so, brother.”, that’s it, no notes of triumph like she won this little game to divide them even further or even anything like sadness or hurt.

This made him so angry, the lack of any reaction, that he immediately stormed out of her cabinet.

Why did she need to be so complicated? He gave her chance after chance and all she did it seems it threw them out of the window.

Is it so much to ask for a sister to be right on his side, where she belongs? Is he really asking that much from her, to act the way the little sisters must to act? It is her duty as a sister, after all.

Kiyi has no problem with this, she looks up at him like any normal little sister should.

He soothes himself with a thought that at least Azula now helps him with his paperwork and at least listens to him, instead of attacking… but in some sense she’s here.

But it is all cold business-like.

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She can’t be angry with him for what he asked Aang to do, he thinks.

It was necessary at the time, when they finally found her in that forsaken forest.

She was hurting everyone with her fire, and herself the most. They all can see the burn scars on her hands. 

She was… dangerous, unstable and so unreasonably angry with him and their mother…

He did so much to save her from herself, to make her stable, he even bowed before the Fire Sages for help, when he understood that Asylum didn’t do a good job with her.

Only for her repaying him with coldness.

But, is it this, if it is truly only revenge she can come up with after losing her bending, he needs to know, somehow.

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He sits near the pond late in the evening, when he can be alone here, and plays with his fire. It dances in a different color on his hands, and he is hypnotized with his own flames, when Azula’s flat voice greets him with another empty formality, and he turns only to see her bowing.

Acting nothing like a sister he once knew… she wasn’t like this even with Ozai.

He can’t be worse than this man.

“Why did you call me here, brother?”

He stands up from his place and shakes off the grass stuck to his clothes, already feeling uncomfortable, knowing that now he couldn’t avoid her gaze.

“You can stop bowing for now, Azula,”, he exhales tiredly, it’s like talking to a statue,”Give me your hand.”.

And she does just like he asked, no questioning him, without a moment's hesitation.

And this is the first time they touch in months, and the first time they touch each other without an intention to hurt or subdue.

This feels strange and almost unnatural, as the coldness coming from her thin palm.

But he still puts it on his and flickers small flames, as if they are hers, even if his colorful flames full of life are nothing like hers cold blue one.

“Do you feel them?”

“No”

He nods, because he believes her, he can almost swear that his flames aren’t reflecting in her eyes, and he removes the flames and his hand from her.

“You can… take off your hand, you know?”, he hesitates, when her hand is still in the air.

She silently obeys.

“I have thought that maybe we can try to return your fire, you know, since you’re not angry all the time anymore.”, it’s a lie, and even if she sees it, she doesn't react, “I’ll ask Aang, when he's visiting next time… What do you think?”

“I don’t need firebending to do my job.”

“Um, but do you want it back?”, he searches for any reaction on her face and fails.

“No, it would only be distracting.”, she pauses, “I still have work to do, My Lord, can I return to it?”

Isn’t it always what she does now? Work. It’s all her routine now.

Being woken up by guards or maids, preparing for the day, eating, working, eating, working, eating, taking her medicine and sleeping, and then to repeat this full circle the next day...and the nex again. Like that, for almost a year now.

It’s not a life, he thinks, but existence.

And now he doesn't think she does it to spite them.

“Yes.. yes, you can”.

She bows and leaves, like she never was here, and he sits back and returns to play with his fire.

Perhaps, with her fire they truly took something that made her alive. He needs to write to Aang, asking him for a real help.

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The moment, when Azula started to truly scare him, finally came, when her sleep medicine didn’t arrive in time.

He knew Azula had troubles with sleeping, but he never thought a person could not sleep for days.

As a Fire Lord that cares about his subordinates he freed her from her responsibilities of her work for at least five days, because he had a feeling that she would do it instead of sleeping with her unhealthy devotion, that was probably the only thing that he still recognized in her as something that is still here from her old self.

He was truly pleased with himself, right until the moment when one of the Kyoshi Warriors that was watching Azula, didn’t come to him with the report that all these days his sister spent staring at the blank wall.

She did exactly what he told her to do.

Nothing.

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“I… I agree with you, Zuko”, Katara nod’s.

“Really?”, his voice sounds so full of some hope.

“Yes, we did what was necessary back at the moment, but,” she pauses, her eyes become distant for a moment, “What you have described, I still remember the moment when the Moon Spirit died, it was like part of me has disappeared and nothing mattered at the moment, and I could only go on because I needed to, because I must.”

“Aang?”, he turns to the Avatar, who seems to be deep in his thoughts.

“I am with both of you, guys, but I have a feeling that it’s more than this.”, he finally looks at them, darkly, “I mean, Ozai didn’t lose his emotions, right? He still can feel them, what you have described is chilling, Zuko.”

“But you will try?”

“Yes, I will.”

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Avatar puts his right hand onto Azula’s forehead and left onto her chest, his eyes closed, though they can see bright light coming under his eyelids.

He and Katara are watching them closely, just in case something will happen. Just in case, even both of them are almost sure it's not it, it is all was and act and she will attack them the moment her fire returns.
Aang's face gets tense and turns into a grimace, but Azula seems uninterested in what happens, she sits there rigid, looking past the Avatar, who hangs over her.

And Avatar finally gives up, after a solid fifteen minutes trying to reach out to her soul.

He shakes his head dejectedly and finally says softly, "Nothing, nothing works.", taking a step away from Azula.

And Zuko feels how his lips form a thin line in disappointment, and he truly feels defeated, when his sister, unbothered by Avatar's failure asks if she can return to her work, as if nothing has happened.

He wants to run away from this room now, but he keeps himself from this and nods to her, allowing her to work…

And then he silently nods to his friends to follow him.

Chapter 2

“But it’s different, Ozai never killed you!”, roars the Fire Lord, slamming his hands against the table.

“I didn’t take away her emotions, Zuko…”, Avatar sounds offended.

“How could you even say something like this to Aang’s face, Zuko?!”, steps in Katara, being done with Zuko’s frustrating anger, “I know you’re angry! But it doesn't mean you have the right to unleash this anger on us, people who are actually here to help you.”

“Sorry, I… I just don’t know what to do with her, guys, she scares everyone…”, Zuko sits down behind his working desk, face grimm, hands ruffling through hair , “I thought, that perhaps, it was sorts of side effects of energybending, or you’re Avatar’s spirit revenge… ”

“I’m sure it is not, Zuko, I can only block bending with it, not emotions.”, he frowns, “Besides I do remember her having them right after I took away her firebending…”

They sit in silence because of the memory of how she begged them not to take away her fire… It was the first time Zuko remembers his sister begging for something, and the last.

He wonders for a second, if her emotions now miraculously returned, would she beg them again?

Aang would probably give in, considering everything that happened.

“Look, Zuko…I can’t promise anything”, Avatar decides, “But I can ask while me and Katara are going to be in the North Water Tribe if we can take her… you know where. It’s the only option I can think about for now.”

“Thank you, Aang…”, Zuko looks at his friend, feeling a little more hope than before “Aang… when we left her room you told me you can't reach her soul.”,he swallows, “Is it even possible she has none?”

Avatar winces at his question. “I don’t know.”

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That night , after his friends had finally left, some weird unrecognized feeling led him to visit his sister while she was sleeping.

It’s creepy to watch the other person sleep, he thinks, but at least she can’t hear him due to the drugs she takes, unable to sleep on her own.

He quietly opens the door of her room and frowns at the sight.

It's her sleeping drugs, the first thing that comes to his mind.

But something dark from the back of his mind whispers to him, that this person isn't his sister at all.

Because he remembers quite well that his sister hated to sleep on her back, wailing that this is not healthy for a firebender.

But again, she wasn't a firebender anymore and it seems didn't mind this change, so probably it doesn't mean anything at all.

This thought makes him a little bit more comfortable.

Just a little bit.

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He hears quiet steps and grass rustles as his sister approaches him. It's late evening once again, when he decides to talk to her, the time when servants are left for a night and his mother takes his other little sister to read her stories before bed time.

He sits near the pool as usual, watching Moon reflection slowly making its appearance.

“I have a question for you, Azula.”, he starts their dialogue, before she can greet him, without turning his head to face her.

"I'm listening, my lord."

"Are you even angry with me?", he closes eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand the question, can you be more specific?", her voice rings empty.

"I mean, your firebending and everything that happenв to you after. Your reaction on Aangs failure to return it... is weird to me. I know you said it would be only a distraction, but in the past it meant so much to you, but now it's like you dont care at all.", he stops, choosing the right words but finds none, "It's like you don't care about anything but youк work."

"Past is the past, I don't see any reasons to dwell on it, it's a waste of time. And I don't get angry with you, brother. I understand your decision regarding my bending, from your point of view it was necessary. I was burning myself and probably would try to burn others at the moment.", she shrugs it off like it's nothing.

But something catches him in her answer.

"Um, from my perspective?. '', he wonders aloud, “There's a reason behind you burning yourself? I mean, when we found you in a Forgetful Valley, you were barely able to distinguish reality."

"That's the reason behind it, actually. I'm sure you've noticed that the deeper you go the more unfriendly spirits become. They probably felt that I was an easy target because of my hallucinations. They would sand the visions right into my head, feeling pain was helpful for some time.”

“I see.”, he pauses, “Why didn't you tell us this?”, he quickly glances over at her in question.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you should remember that I wasn't in the mood to talk to you or anyone back then. Not when the spirits were giving me visions, not after your friend took away my firebending. It is difficult to look at such things soberly and the fair reasons behind anyone's deeds, when you are overwhelmed with... emotions."

"But you had them... I don't understand", he rubs his hands over his face, "I don't understand how you’ve lost them..."

"So, is it my emotionlessness that is really worrying you so much?"

He hesitates but nods, even if it means almost to admit aloud to her that her bending never was the case.

To be honest, he would prefer her not having it to begin with. And if he hadn't thought that energybending could affect her so much, that she would scare everyone around, with her new strange persona wearing permanently stony face, mechanical movements and a blank stare, he would not raise the issue of Aang restoring her fire.

“Fire Sages. You asked them to help to calm my ardor, and they helped me. And I don’t regret it, not now when I see my path to serve the Fire Nation and the Fire Lord clearer than ever, even if it means losing something as useless as emotions.”

“The Fire Lord…”, he furrowed brows.

“Yes, the Fire Lord.”, she confirms.

Silence hangs between them, while the nightlife wakes up around them along with the intensifying chirping of cicadas.

"What exactly did they do?", he spits out, feeling how heat rises inside of him, "Fire Sages, I mean, what exactly did they do?"

“They performed a series of rituals, but I don’t remember much of what exactly happened during any of them. I only remember that after them I was reading the oath for many hours in a row... Then again the rituals, and reads again. And then suddenly I woke up in a psychiatric hospital from which you took me after a while, when they deemed me safe to be around."

"So it was them who did this to you," he growls with sparks, finally blowing steam out from the rising inner fire, and jumps up a little from his seat.

"Why are you angry? Isn't this what you wanted for me, brother?" he freezes, as goosebumps run down his skin, and seconds later drops back beside a small pool, and he's almost scared to look up at her, and he keeps staring into her reflection, distorted by light ripples of water.

This could be the culmination of her plan, he thinks, she could stand with a smirk looking down at him, but he knows that when he looks up, there will be no smirk on her face. There would be nothing that he could read as triumph.

And he knows that she is right, somewhere in the depths of his soul he wanted her to finally obey him.

"You are free. Leave me, I need to think."

"As you wish, my Lord.", her reflection curves in a distorted bow.

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Zuko storms into the High Temple and Great Sage's room without announcement. Young sages rush in right behind him as he pins the oldman against the wall in his rightful rage, candle flame rising higher along with it. They forcefully break their contact and push the Fire Lord away from their master, but take no further action when the Great Sage raises his hand and dismisses them.

"Hello to you too, Fire Lord.", he still bows irritably, without due respect.

Fire Lord doesn't return the gesture, but continues to breathe angrily, the candles dance in tact with him, and the Great Sage decides to take control over them in case flames are going to rise once again.

"What did you do to my sister?", he angrily gawks at the oldman.

"Nothing you wouldn't beg us for when you and the Avatar brought her here.", he replies calmly.

"What. Exactly. Did. You. Do?", Zuko spits each word separately, unable to calm himself.

"We have performed ancient rituals that subdue the spirit and rid them of any worldly attachments, ambitions and emotions, because they leave it vulnerable to temptations. But we changed it a bit, because your sister was not destined to be a Sage who would be a Сonductor for spirits and the souls of the dead. There can be only one at the time.", he pauses, "The spirit of the princess was in a terrible state, damaged by spirits, unable to calm down for a second. And you begged for a sister who would not be dangerous to anyone and would obey, and you got her. Or you need me to elaborate on the process of a ritual?"

"Yes.", he hisses.

"I'm afraid I can't, it is a secret knowledge that can be used for a great evil. I would not even perform it, if you didn't bring her here with the Avatar, asking for help as the last hope.", he looks up at the Fire Lord, and sees that the young man is ready to blow up again, "Before you'll do anything stupid again, Fire Lord, I'm going to remind you that you have no authority over the Fire Sages, you can threaten us, as some of your ancestors did, but our ancient knowledge is something we managed to keep secret even during the Hundred Years' War... And I'm already telling you more than I should, only out of pure respect for your deeds."

The Fire Lord's eyes are still gleaming with anger, but he still nods and then collapses into a nearby chair and exhales.

"Is it reversible?", he asks in a thin voice.

"No. People on whom this ritual are usually performed are dedicating their lives to this path. There's no turning back from it, at least to our current knowledge.", Great Sage looks at young Fire Lord with pity.

"I see.", he swallows, "Can you at least give me a hint, or share this knowledge with the Avatar?"

The old man purses his lips and gazes for a long time into the eyes of the insolent youth, whom he, nevertheless, has infinite respect for. And he makes a decision. Even if he brings the Avatar here, he will still share knowledge, it is easier and safer for everyone to give a hint than to share knowledge.

The old man purses his lips and gazes for a long time into the eyes of the insolent youth, whom he, nevertheless, has infinite respect for. And he makes a decision. Even if he brings the Avatar here, he will still share this knowledge with the Fire Lord, it is easier and safer for everyone to give a hint than to share knowledge.

"We're burning everything out of their spirit.", he says curtly, "The old Сonductor does it to the young one who comes to replace him."

"Thank you", Zuko stops at the half nod, and then bows instead, "I'm sorry for how I have acted.", and then storms out of the room with the urge to send letters to his uncle and friends.

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The throne room is half dark as his fire doesn't burn at its full power, but still it hides most of his posture behind dancing flames. Usually he doesn't like to show off with it and prefers to be open instead, because it reminds him of all of his ancestors a little too much, but now he wants to be unseen by his subordinates.

The creaking of doors echoes through the hall as the guards open them. Azula enters the hall with a perfect step, stops exactly in the middle of it, and falls on her knees in front of him in a low bow.

His fire does not waver on a gesture, but he still nervously swallows because of what he is going to say. Even if he knows that she would not feel anything after what he is going to say, she will only obey

"Stand up, Azula, there's something I need to tell you." He sees through the flames how her distorted silhouette silently stands up, waiting for him to continue.

They are in the throne room, so it's official. In less than fifteen minutes everyone will know about the decision he is going to voice.

"Considering the information I've recently gathered from the Great Sage, I've decided that while we'll going to figure out how to reverse what happened to you, you're going to live with Fire Sages on the Crescent Island, since they know how to... approach your case better than us.", he only hopes his voice is steady and confident, "If you need to gather some things or finish your work, you have few hours, before the sunset sets up."

He hears one of his advisors breathe a sigh of relief, it feels like his sister makes not only his family and servants.

"My Lord, I may leave right now, there's no need to wait until sunset, I've already finished all the papers.", Azula's flat voice finally rings through the hall, "And I don't need anything. Having something from the Palace would be inappropriate during my presence in the Temple."

The silence hangs in the throne room for something that feels like an eternity, when he breathes out, finally letting her go.

"Yes, you may leave now.".
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The letter from Iroh arrives a few weeks later, while he has a family lunch with his mother and a little sister.

He opens the letter with trembling hands, waiting for uncle’s words to chide him, but ends up re-reading it a few times with a small but still faltering smile on his lips.

 

Fire Lord Zuko,

I'm doing fine, my teashop is growing with each day and now i need more waiters than before, thank you for asking.

As for your sister...

For what it's worth, my dear nephew, I think you did the right thing in regards to your sister. You showed her mercy that no one in your position would ever do, and that is considering the things that Azula has done to you and this family before.
Azula was uncontrollable and dangerous for everyone around and herself in the first place. But now she has the opportunity to serve her country and atone for everything she did during the war.
It is a tragedy that everything came to this, but she unleashed this upon herself by making her own wrong decisions.
Don't dwell on this much, Zuko. Everything will come around.

You're favourite uncle Iroh.

 

His eyes light up a little bit and he lets his mother read the letter, while himself reaches for a dessert, skipping the second dish. It was a wonder, as always, how words from his uncle, even so few of them, were able to lighten up his mood and boost his confidence.

He only can hope to become the man his uncle is one day.

Zuko looks up to see his mothers reaction, but finds her tightly clutching the letter and her lower lip trembling.

Notes:

I'm not sure I like this chapter, but I needed to finally finish this fic... somehow. It was planned as one shot, and I have fun writing first part, but I left it unfinished only beacuse I haven't energy to finish it... but then I didn't refind this energy next day... and the day after next day...