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It started with a small wave in the bottom of Steve’s stomach. It slowly rose and licked up his body. Soon, the panic crawled up his throat, and he couldn’t ignore the shake in his hands anymore. He’d known, for a long time, that he was bound to break, but why’d it have to be now? Here? in the storage closet of Family Video while he was just trying to find a new bottle of Windex.
His first small sniffle broke the silence. It made Steve stumble over himself trying to turn off the closet light and force himself into a corner. His arms wrapped around his legs, face pressed between his knees. The tears started to fall as soon as his butt hit the floor, ugly and hot against his cheeks. It was a long overdue consequence of the hell he and his friends had experienced.
Steve almost felt a sense of relief as he sobbed, alone and in the dark. He knew this wasn’t the place, and definitely not the time, to be having this breakdown, but he couldn’t hold it off any longer. Robin would wonder he went if he took too long, he briefly considered, but he couldn’t put the dam back together.
He tried to keep quiet, but the tears kept running and it soon turned into panicked breaths and stifled sobs behind his hand. Snot was coming out of his nose now, and he swiped his arm under his nose to get rid of it, letting out a small wail.
Steve missed when life was… normal. No, simpler, but he also knew he wouldn’t trade Robin or his kids for the world. And Eddie, God, Eddie had quickly become one of his best friends, had held him through nightmares with late night smoke sessions to ease their nerves. Then their friendship had blurred into something else, something more, and Steve had to go and fuck it all up.
Steve hadn’t cried when his parents disowned him and kicked him out for being bisexual. He hadn’t cried when he had to move. Into the trailer park, into something he could afford by himself. He hadn’t cried when he came out to his kids. They all accepted him without fail, because of course they did. He hadn’t even cried when Robin and Eddie graduated high school.
But now, now , Eddie had left him. Eddie had told Steve he needed to explore himself, that he wanted to try to become something , and if that didn’t feel like a dig, Steve didn’t know what did. Steve knew he was stuck in this fucking town. He knew that he had a deadend job, that he would never amount to much, or make his parents proud. Eddie had dreams. Dreams that didn’t involve six kids. Or a camper van.
Eddie wanted to become a rockstar, and by God if he didn’t deserve that. Steve knew Eddie was better off without him. He was better off trying to be somebody rather than being nobody. Like Steve was. Maybe selfishly, though, Steve didn’t care . Steve wanted Eddie, and it hurt just a little bit too much that Eddie didn’t want Steve.
A slice of light passed through the storage closet as the door opened slowly, revealing a worried looking Robin. She flicked the lights on and let out a small gasp.
“Steve?” She asked, closing the door behind her and wrapping Steve in her arms. “Steve, hey, what’s going on?”
Steve bumbled, letting out a sob, “Eddie.”
“I know, Steve, I know,” Robin ran a hand up and down Steve’s arm, tucking his head under her chin. “It’s going to be okay.”
Steve shook his head, “ No! ”
He was aware he was acting like a child, squirming and wailing in his best friend’s arms, but he was so distraught that he didn’t care anymore. “Steve,” Robin said quietly, voice only breaking slightly, “It will, I promise.”
“The- the store, Robin, what about the store?” Steve panted out in between cries.
“We’re closed, Steve, it’s passed closing time now. You’ve been gone for almost 30 minutes, I was worried about you.”
“I’m-” He choked out a sob, “I’m sorry, Rob, ’m so sorry.”
“Hey, none of that, dingus. You have nothing to be sorry for. Now get up and let’s go eat a whole tub of ice cream, yeah?”
Steve let Robin drag him up, wiping his tears with some paper towels on a shelf. She grabbed his keys from his pocket and patted him on the head. “It’ll be alright.” Steve was starting to believe her as the panic subsided slowly.
The pair made it out of Family Video, heading towards Steve’s car. Steve was vaguely concerned that maybe he shouldn’t let Robin drive, but he wasn’t in his right mind to care, so he let it go this time. When they made it back to Steve’s trailer, Robin cracked open a beer and a wine cooler, grabbing two spoons and the pint of strawberry ice cream he’d bought earlier that week at the grocery store.
He met her on the couch, looking at all of the things she’d collected on the coffee table. “Would Grease be too on the nose?” Robin asked, lifting the blanket to let Steve under it. “We could watch that or The Breakfast Club, or whatever else you want.”
Steve shrugged, tucking into the pint of ice cream, pressed right into Robin’s side. “You know Top Gun is my favorite, so…” He trailed off, mouth full of ice cream as Robin rolled her eyes and popped the VHS into the player.
“Yeah, yeah, how could I ever expect we watch something different for once?” Steve offered her a small half-smile, and her heart clenched a little in response. “I mean it when I say it’ll be okay, dingus. I know you don’t believe me, but I can be pretty smart.”
Steve dropped his head back in a cackle, “Thanks, Rob. You’re the best.”
“I know,” She replied, shoving his shoulder with his and finally digging her spoon into the ice cream. “Hey! Don’t steal all the ice cream!”
Maybe, Steve thought as he took a sip of beer, things would be alright.