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“Stupid little beast! You’re going to humiliate this master if you come to the Immortal Alliance Conference in this disgusting state!” threatened Shen Qingqiu.
Luo Binghe’s relationship with his Shizun began to change then. He was only seventeen at that time, and hopeful of making a name for himself, of having his Shizun acknowledge him. Even after many years of abuse, he was still foolishly optimistic. Even with his training under Meng Mo, which could lead him to a bright future as a powerful demon lord, he still dreamt of a day when Shen Qingqiu finally noticed him.
But on the day of the conference, he had fallen sick, and his Shizun had ripped off his participation paper, scattering the torn pieces all over the ground.
Luo Binghe nursed his broken pride until one week later, he heard the news of the conference being ambushed by demons. Ming Fan and a few of his shixiongs had been killed. Shen Qingqiu and the rest of the peak lords returned to the sect with fewer disciples than before.
With Ming Fan gone, there was no longer instigation for the other disciples to bully Luo Binghe. However, the issue was no one wanted to be the Head Disciple because everyone was either afraid of or hated Shen Qingqiu. His yearning to be acknowledged by Shen Qingqiu was stronger than his fear, so he stepped up.
“This disciple swears to do better than Ming-shixiong.”
“I will give you a hundred lash if you make one stupid mistake,” warned Shen Qingqiu.
But Luo Binghe was stubborn. And he was willing to risk it.
It was a start. It was the beginning of thawing Shen Qingqiu’s heart.
.
He tried to cook for his Shizun, and the immortal rejected his food for the first few months. Until one day, he noticed the empty cup and plate that had been filled with luo han guo tea and fried youtiao. Luo Binghe’s chest swelled with pleasure.
“Happy just because that man ate something you made? Pathetic!” scoffed Meng Mo.
And being close to Shen Qingqiu, seeing his Shizun in a personal setting like within the bamboo house, made him understand Shen Qingqiu better than anyone, even better than Yue Qingyuan who, in the eyes of everyone in the sect, was the closest person to his Shizun.
No one, not even the Sect Leader, could understand why his Shizun would go to the Warm Red Pavillion. But Luo Binghe did. He had furtively stalked Shen Qingqiu and saw pretty women gathered around his Shizun, acting more like older sisters pampering their little brother. He was strangely relieved that his Shizun had not sought carnal pleasure there.
When the immortal finally fell asleep, Luo Binghe slipped into his dream. He walked through the dark hallway of his Shizun’s dream and glimpsed a child, who looked similar to Shen Qingqiu, tied up and whipped by a dark shadow. In the mirror at the end of the hallway, he saw Liu Qingge stab himself in the chest with his own sword, Ming Fan screaming as a monster sank its fangs into him, and familiar faces of Qing Jing Peak disciples running away for their lives as more monsters slaughtered them. Shen Qingqiu was standing in the middle of the chaos as more and more dead bodies piled around him.
The ceilings began to crumble around Luo Binghe, and he decided to leave. His Shizun must have noticed an intruder in his mind, and the mental barrier was trying to kick him out.
Luo Binghe had tried to leave the Warm Red Pavillion undetected, but unfortunately, Shen Qingqiu had sensed him the moment he was awake.
“Insolent!” He slapped Luo Binghe in the face. His Shizun’s sharp nail cut his cheek, and a thin line of blood appeared across his face. “How dare you follow this master!” It was fortunate that Shen Qingqiu did not make the connection between someone trespassing into his dream and his disciple’s appearance in the Warm Red Pavillion.
Luo Binghe was dragged to the punishment hall and whipped with fifty lashes. He took it all with a stride, not an ounce of regret, not even anger. He understood Shen Qingqiu and withstood the pain for his Shizun’s sake.
.
Luo Binghe vowed to make his Shizun’s life less miserable at the peak. He burnt incense sticks in the bamboo house with familiar gardenia scents that reminded him of the Warm Red Pavillion. Luo Binghe made sure to wash his Shizun’s laundry with jasmine-scented soaps that were also used by the women there. He even sneaked into his Shizun’s sleeping chamber and hung floral-scented bags around the bed, just like what he had seen in the rooms of the Warm Red Pavillion, hoping his Shizun could find peace in his sleep.
Shen Qingqiu never commented on the incense sticks, the jasmine scent on his inner robes, or the scented bags he and Ning Yingying had made.
His Shizun punished him less as the year passed by, and Luo Binghe thought sooner or later, Shen Qingqiu would finally acknowledge him as more than a beast, more than a disciple.
It finally took him a year to notice that his admiration for his Shizun was more than platonic. It took him another year for Luo Binghe to admit he was completely and utterly in love with Shen Qingqiu.
.
“If this disciple goes away for a long period of time, how can Binghe assist Shizun in the peak?”
Luo Binghe was delighted that Shen Qingqiu trusted him to carry out as many missions as he could handle until he realised he was sent farther and farther away from Cang Qiong Mountain with each new assignment. As soon as he saw the latest mission, he calculated the journey and the shortest amount of time for him to accomplish the task. It might take up to a month! But not only was there one mission he had to carry out, Shen Qingqiu handed him five more missions that might take a year or more to complete!
“Beast…” Shen Qingqiu had stopped calling him ‘little beast’ because Luo Binghe was taller and broader now than the immortal. He stopped feeling offended by the nickname, and instead, he thought it was more like a term of endearment that his Shizun gave to him.
“Are you planning to stay in this mountain for the rest of your life? You just turned twenty, and it is imperative for you to go out there, see the world, make some connections, and perhaps you might find someone-” Shen Qingqiu averted his gaze from his disciple. He seemed resigned as he murmured, “-someone that can be your life partner.”
“I hate to say this, but I agree with him,” Meng Mo butted in.
Shen Qingqiu continued. “Do you think this master does not notice?”
Luo Binghe swallowed nervously. What did he mean?
“This master knows your unfilial emotional attachment towards me.”
Shen Qingqiu got up from his seat and flicked his fan open. His jade-green phoenix eyes were locked on Luo Binghe.
“We should keep our distance from each other.”
Luo Binghe sighed inwardly. It was more like Shen Qingqiu who needed distance from his lovesick disciple.
“Please reconsider your feelings for this master,” Shen Qingqiu insisted.
The next day, Luo Binghe left Cang Qiong Mountain.
.
Luo Binghe had set in his heart to keep in touch with his Shizun despite the distance. He sent a short note every day through the communication talisman, and wrote about the weather, the people he met, the food he ate, the rare plants he found, or the occasional monsters he encountered.
‘It doesn’t stop raining for five days.’
‘Almost stumble into a pit of Needle Ants Demons. I exorcised them and filled the pit.’
‘Found a tree bearing luo han guo fruits. Autumn seems to yield more of these fruits. Does Shizun miss the tea I made for you?’
‘Saw a strange group of skeletons carrying someone important on a palanquin.’
‘I miss the air in the mountain.’
‘Heard rumour of a sighting of Black Moon Rhinoceros Phyton and waited a few days. It never appears. Disappointed.’
‘It’s almost winter. There is a sheep wool blanket at the bottom of the cupboard. I prepare it for Shizun. Please keep warm.’
‘The stars here seem much smaller than those I saw in the mountain.’
‘Found a flower resembling lotus and orchid with heart-shaped leaves. Shizun must have known about this flower.’
‘I wish Shizun could see the sunset here.’
‘Finally eat a decent meal after so long. I had plain congee with fried youtiao. Does Shizun miss my cooking?’
‘I miss cooking for Shizun.’
‘I hope Shizun does not think I’m being indecent. My feelings for Shizun are still here. Like the spring flowers, growing and blooming.’
‘Been feeling under the weather lately. Maybe after a day or two, I’ll be okay.’
‘I found a bamboo forest. Feels like I am back at Qing Jing Peak.’
‘Today, I daydreamed of soaking in the cool water of the Quiet Pool so I could forget this overbearing summer heat.’
‘I miss Shizun.’
Sometimes, when he felt like it, he sketched what he saw; the strange flowers, the little creatures, the food he had, and sent the drawings to his Shizun.
Luo Binghe kept sending these little notes every single day to his Shizun, but he had never received any reply, except once; Shizun had merely used the communication talisman by sending another ten more high-ranking missions.
Luo Binghe ended up spending three years on the road.
Shen Qingqiu did not return his feelings, forcing Luo Binghe even farther away from coming back to him, but that’s okay. He accepted the situation as it was, even though it was difficult to swallow the bitterness.
Despite no response from his Shizun, he continued sending his notes until it was time to return.
.
On the road, Luo Binghe met shameless people who had failed to seduce him. He met girls wanting to be fucked and men wanting to fuck him.
He met bandits and rogue cultivators who either wanted to rob or kidnap him so that they could send a ransom to Cang Qiong sect.
He met some demons who mocked him for his tainted human blood flowing inside him before Luo Binghe decapitated their heads.
He also met a succubus who introduced herself as a fortune teller.
“Who is my soulmate?” Luo Binghe wasn’t serious about the question. Whatever the answer was, Shen Qingqiu was still the one for him.
Madam Meiyin smiled slyly. “Young master already knows who his soulmate is. Why bother asking?”
His chest erupted with despair. It was heartbreaking to be in unrequited love with your soulmate.
.
Once, he had a huge argument with Meng Mo. The dream demon insisted he was better off being a demon lord than a pathetic disciple for a peak lord with a weak golden core. If Meng Mo had a physical body, he would have strangled the old bastard to death. Luo Binghe blocked him for over a month instead, refusing to talk until the dream demon reluctantly apologised.
The elder had to accept that Luo Binghe had already set his future with Shen Qingqiu. He would take it even as a mere disciple with no title to his name. Why would he want to be a demon lord or someone with power if he could not be with the one he desire?
.
It took Luo Binghe three months to finally arrive at his destination. At the bottom of the stairs that led up to Cang Qiong Mountain, there stood an elegant figure in vibrant bamboo-green robes. Shen Qingqiu must have been informed of Luo Binghe’s arrival when the mountain detected Zheng Yang. Jade-green phoenix eyes glowered at him, face red with anger. And yet, he was utterly beautiful.
Absence made the heart grow fonder, and oh, how he ached for his Shizun for three years and three months.
Shen Qingqiu briskly walked to him, and before he knew it, the immortal hit Luo Binghe hard with his fan.
“You-” Shen Qingqiu whacked him a few more times.
“Shizun!” He covered his head as he tried to avoid half-heartedly from the beating.
“Three months, insolent beast!” Shen Qingqiu shouted furiously. Luo Binghe’s heart had stuttered in surprise, and then it beat faster like a hummingbird’s wings.
“You didn’t write for three months! I thought-”
Luo Binghe caught his Shizun’s hands and immediately captured his lips.
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Many years later, after they did their three bows as husband and wife and had children of their own, Luo Binghe found out his Shizun had kept all one thousand and ninety-five notes he sent. He also discovered one thousand ten unsent reply notes.
There was one that caught his eye. It was attached with his own message written, ‘I miss Shizun.’
He smiled fondly as he read Shen Qingqiu’s reply:
I don’t miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you too. A little.
Stupid beast. If you miss me, come back.