Chapter Text
This is my home
I feel safe when i’m in your arms
You could kill me
But you won’t
And that is why I feel so lucky
It’s familiar to feel inferior
RAEGAN - "Stockholm"
Dabi locked the bedroom door the first nights he was in that house again.
It seemed like a pointless effort, if Enji wanted to, he could just bang on the door until Touya gave in. It wasn't like anybody would stop him. They didn't help Touya before when he was just a kid, they're definitely not going to help him now, as a murderer and a terrorist that tried to kill all of them on at least one occasion. Hell, Enji very well could just rip the door off the frame and have it repaired in a day. He still locked the door though, even if it was in a vain attempt.
He didn't see this lasting very long. He'd only been released and put on house arrest under his Father's watch recently and the rest of the family was already uncomfortable with the idea. Rei and Natsuo had been strongly against it, insisting Touya should stay in the psych ward until he was cleared to move to the rehabilitation program like the rest of the League. Shouto didn't seem to have much of an opinion. Fuyumi had just wanted them to be a family.
It was Enji who pushed for it. He'd said he refused to let Touya rot in a prison cell or an institution when he could "help him have a second chance." Dabi didn't fully believe in his so-called intentions, but after several meetings with the Hero Commission and the institution management, Endeavor got permission to take Touya back home, under his watch and back in his clutches.
Still remembers the day like it was yesterday, sporting a quirk suppressing bracelet on his remaining wrist, a house arrest anklet on his ankle, and a tracking device embedded behind his ear as he was released from the institution doors. He remembers Endeavor pulling him through a crowd of people, press reporters taking phones and yelling questions, angry protesters screaming insults and hurling death threats at him. He remembers barely containing the laughter building in his chest. He remembers a large sign with bold, black letters reading; "Touya Todoroki deserves death, not freedom."
It was strange being home again. Crowded around the dinner table in an awkward silence as they ate. It was as if nothing changed at all, yet everything seemed so different. The family was different. So many years had gone by, so much had changed.
And Enji… He was different. He was so overcome with guilt and so pitifully gentle, it made Dabi want to hurl, made him laugh in the man's face.
"We'll pick up your medication tomorrow, Touya." Enji spoke after a long drag of silence. He wasn't looking at him when Dabi looked up, only glancing in his direction for a second before looking back down at his plate, not actually looking at him. "The hospital only gave you a week's supply, so I'll get the prescription tomorrow afternoon."
" Wonderful ." Dabi responded with a sadistic tone, an ugly grin spreading across his face that caused Enji to look up for a mere moment.
"What exactly do they have you on?" Natsuo asked. His voice was gentle but dripping with concern. Natsuo could barely look at him without pain spreading across his features. It was odd– Touya remembers they used to be so close.
"I haven't the faintest idea." Dabi answered with a sneer, "Can you answer the question, Daddy?"
The use of Daddy always got such an amusing reaction. His Mother and siblings tensing up with clear discomfort, and Enji giving him that look again. Touya loves saying it for that reason, just to subtly remind him and everyone else exactly what happened when he was young.
"Just medication to calm you down," Enji said after an uncomfortable pause, not looking up from the plate, "I believe the hospital prescribed a mood stabilizer, antidepressant, antipsychotic, and a sedative, alongside medication for your physical conditions. I could… Provide you with a list of you'd like, Touya."
"Eh, what's the point?" He waved a hand dismissively, snickering at the idea. Like he'd trust anything Enji said. For all he knew they were placebos, or shit to make him even more crazy and out of it.
"That sounds like a lot. Is all of that medication really necessary?" Shouto spoke up, chopsticks pushing around the rice on his plate. "I thought you didn't believe in medication, Father?"
Shouto seemed a bit weary of Dabi, but acted so self-righteous and understanding towards him it was infuriating, like the brat thought he could understand him and was advocating for him. Laughable.
"Of course it is, little brother." Dabi teased, "I'm a terribly dangerous, cruel lunatic, you of all people know that."
The look he gave him was fuckin' priceless.
"Actually, yeah, I'd like to see that fuckin' list." Natsuo suddenly interrupted, "I'd like to look the medication and dosages over, somebody has to when you're hand-feeding my brother pills like they're candy."
Rei made a pained little noise, "Natsuo, baby, please–"
Enji spoke louder though, "Language, Natsuo. No one is feeding Touya pills like candy. He needs it–"
"Yeah, Daddy, I need it."
"It all just seems like a little much. They upped his medication to put him here, and I'm happy he's home, I really am, but maybe that program would have done him better than drugging him to his eyeballs and putting him in the same house with you. " Natsuo snapped, an intense glare fixed on their father, and Dabi kind of just liked watching the show.
Their meals and family times tended to always go this way, and Touya liked it. He might not have been happy about the situation, happy about his Mom and siblings being here even if it did keep him "safe" from Endeavor, and maybe he really is an ungrateful bastard for taking for granted the deal he got, but he thrived on the chaos, on watching them crack under the pressure.
"This is doing him better!" Enji's voice boomed, "It's better he's home than in some hospital or half-assed rehab for villains! He has a second chance here, I can make up for my mistakes, and we can be a family! Do you think just anyone gets this type of opportunity? This is the best–"
Rei suddenly stood up, hurrying away from the dinner table in a quiet shuffle with her hands clasped together, "Excuse me, I'll… get the kitchen cleaned up."
"Rei, where are you going? You don't need to–"
"Can everyone please calm down? Mom's upset now." Fuyumi interrupted Enji, placing her dish on top of her Mother's and standing up. "I'm going to go make sure she's okay."
Fuyumi and Rei were the most awkward about the situation. Pathetic in a way that made Touya almost feel bad about everything. Fuyumi only could manage awkward small talk with him, and her timid tone got rather annoying to deal with. While Rei seemed split between wanting to reach out, and wanting to stay as far away from Dabi as she could.
"Great job, Enji." Natsuo hissed, his face red with anger as he noisily cleaned up his place at the table, leaving the dish there and storming off, presumably to go cool down.
"Natsu–" Shouto sighed, shaking his head as the door slammed. He shot Enji a glance, then rolled his eyes, "Every damn time… You'd think you'd learn to think before you speak, Father. Though, I suppose thinking was never really your strong suit."
Dabi scoffed at that, not wanting to admit that was kinda funny even if the brat was a stuck up little shit.
"I'm trying , Shouto." Enji pressed, "Give me a break here."
Dabi did laugh at that one, a hysterical little giggle that got him a disturbed look from both Enji and Shouto. The rest of dinner is quiet after that.
Touya sat out on the porch that night. At least they let him have cigarettes. He was pretty sure his Father would let him have anything material if he asked for it, just not what he really wants. It's a little frustrating. Everything was so similar, but not in the ways Touya needed. It's different, but not how he wanted. Yeah, sure, it was still kind of amusing to watch, but he was getting tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Touya?" Enji's voice cut through the silence of the night, and Dabi looked over at him as he came out on the porch. "It's getting late. You've been out here for a while."
"Need more smokes." He said, shaking the near empty box of cigarettes with a smile, "You come out to check on me? How sweet."
Enji stiffened up, folding his arms over his chest. "I'll pick you up another pack tomorrow, but you should cut back some. It's not good for your lungs."
"Aw, but they fixed me, Daddy, I'm all pretty and soft again." He turned to face the man, eyes heavy lidded he ran his fingertips over the faded scarring on his neck, blending into the healthy, soft skin of his chest. "Almost like I didn't destroy myself for you, but I did… didn't I?"
There was only so much they could do. He'd burned ninety percent of his body to bone and tissue, the burns were so bad he'd lost his right arm and severely damaged the muscles and tendons that did remain. Enji paid lots of money to have him put into that coma and worked on around the clock by healing quirks that could be used and the best medical procedures that could be offered, but his body was never going to fully recover, and neither would Touya.
Touya closed the space between them, looking up at his Father with a mockery of affection. He watched the way blue eyes trailed over his face, lingered on the exposed skin of his chest, then flickered back to meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry about dinner, Touya."
Dabi stepped a bit closer with a sway of his hips, "Why's that?"
Just do it. I'm all slutty and easy for you. Just take the bait. I know you want to.
"I really should think before I speak, Shouto was right."
"Shouto, Shouto, Shouto…" Touya rolled his eyes, shifting closer, now right in front of the larger man. "Is that still all you care about?"
"Touya, I've come out here to talk to you , I've done all of this for you, you know I care about you. I'm sorry I ever made you question it." Enji croaked, his eyes sad and pitiful. It made Dabi sick inside.
"Then why don't you care for me like you used to?" He reached forward to take Enji's flesh hand, bringing it to his face and nuzzling against his palm.
Enji rubbed his thumb across Touya's cheek, seemingly lost in his eyes, "What do you mean?"
"I've missed it," Touya whispered, forcing his voice to sound soft and airy like he knew Enji liked it, "You bein' close to me, on top of me, against me. Inside of me. You don't love me anymore, Daddy?"
He shut his eyes, taking his fingers into his mouth, and Enji ripped his hand away.
"Touya, what…" Enji looked over his shoulder quick to make sure they weren't seen by anyone at the door or windows. "Touya, we can't do that! What are you thinking?!"
The bastard seemed at a loss for words, in shock. He's such a great actor! Touya really had to applaud him!
"Why not? It was no problem before, was it?" The urge to laugh bubbled up in his chest, eyes wide and pinned. It was just too much, watching the guilt build in his eyes, watching him pretend he didn't still wanna fuck him senseless like he used to.
And why didn't he? Just because it's been a decade? Because the others are here? Because Touya's not good enough anymore? Why?
"Touya, I… I've changed. I'm not going to–..." Enji's voice faded off as Dabi began to giggle hysterically, a near-inhuman cackling that had him doubling over. Enji looked horrified, and Touya wanted to rip out his hair.
"I'll… I'll leave you be." He stammered, slowly backing away as Touya straightened up, "I'm going to… going to run to the gas station, grab you another pack of cigarettes."
"Okay, bye! Miss you!" Touya said with as much childish excitement as a child watching their parent leave for work.
"Yes, um… Goodbye, Touya…"
A cruel smirk spread across his features, "I love you, Daddy."
Enji doesn't say it back. Why? Why not? He just gave him a disturbed, guilty look as he walked anyway. God, the feeling it gave Dabi was addictive.
He left his bedroom door unlocked that night for the first time since he'd been home. He just wanted to see.
He wanted to see if it would happen, if the shadows in the hall would slip into his room and pull back his blankets. He wanted to know if he'd feel those hot hands on his hips and spreading his legs, the large mass trapping his body under it like a blanket, suffocatingly familiar.
It was something that would haunt him for years and something that he craved at the same.
He remembered hiding under the covers at night, staring at the door with wide, unblinking eyes, too excited –or too afraid– to fall asleep.
He found himself doing the exact same thing that night, laying in his bed watching the door until dawn broke and the morning sun shone through the curtains.
Enji didn't come.
Touya didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed.