Chapter Text
The dim fluorescent bulb flickered above the table as they ate dinner. Beatrice could barely see what was on her plate, but she already knew what her mother prepared for dinner before the table was set. Although they rotated who prepared dinner every night, the meal was almost always exactly the same thing; a plate full of green peas, a small portion of chicken breast, and a slice of wheat bread. No seasoning and no second servings. They ate just enough to stave off hunger. That was the Abnegation way.
Beatrice and her brother Caleb were silent during dinner. They weren't allowed to speak at the dinner table unless their parents asked them a direct question, which almost never happened. Andrew Prior, their father, always said that his children's listening ears were a gift to him and his wife Natalie Prior. After dinner, when they sat in the family room, the parents would give their listening ears to their children.
Natalie asked how her husband's day went. Andrew didn't answer until after everyone was finished eating. It became clear at once why he waited to talk. What he had to say was not pleasant and he did not want his bad news to ruin anyone's appetite. He left the table to retrieve the source of his grievances — this morning's newspaper. The table shook when he pressed the paper down on it and slammed his fist against it.
Beatrice tried her best not to seem too interested in the newspaper. There was an image on it that drew her attention, but her father's fist landed right over the face before she could get a good look.
"When will her lies end?" he asked. He is, of course, referring to the faction leader of Erudite. He complained about that woman often.
"What lies?" Beatrice asked before she could stop herself.
"Beatrice," Caleb quietly warned.
Beatrice did her best not to frown. She hated being chastised, especially by her brother. Fortunately, her father was too engaged in the topic to mind. Andrew explained how the report was spreading lies about Marcus, the most respected leader in Abnegation. The report also brought up old lies, like how Abnegation is secretly hoarding resources such as food. The idea that any Abnegation family ever ate more than the bare minimum was preposterous to Beatrice. It was hard for her to understand how anyone could believe such an outlandish lie.
Natalie had been silent during her husband's rant; not just because it was the Abnegation way, but also because she knew that as one of the council members and leaders of the faction, Andrew was more burdened than regular members of Abnegation. Heavy was the weight he carried on his shoulders. It was important to allow him to express himself fully before she gave any words of comfort.
Andrew crumbled the newspaper into a ball, then went to discard it in the recycling bin near the staircase. He let out a frustrated sigh as he returned to his seat. Shaking his head, he sighed again and rested his forehead in the palm of his hand.
"What is this world coming to?" Andrew asked.
That was Natalie's cue to console her husband. They stayed at that dinner table until Andrew decided it was time to move to the family room. He was finally ready to give his listening ears to his children. Beatrice and Caleb spoke about small matters like school and volunteer work. Neither spoke about the upcoming Choosing Ceremony that they would both be participating in. They weren't allowed to.
The Choosing Ceremony was an annual ceremony where every eighteen-year-old in Chicago, the last remaining city on Earth, chose which faction they would spend the rest of their life in. There were five factions to choose from. Usually, people chose to stay in the faction they were born into, but sometimes people defected and chose a different faction.
More than anything, Beatrice wished she could talk to her parents about this. She desperately needed guidance. But even if Beatrice disregarded the rules and asked her parents for help in making her decision, they would probably chastise her for selfishly putting them in that position.
Once family time was over, Caleb went upstairs while Andrew and Natalie went to clear the dinner table. When Beatrice was certain she wouldn't get caught, she grabbed the discarded newspaper out the bin and snuck it upstairs to her bedroom. After quietly closing the door behind her, she opened the newspaper to the page with a giant picture of a blonde woman. Beatrice gently ran her hand over the face, smoothing out the paper, then she traced her fingers over the woman’s lips before moving her hand away.
Jeanine Matthews — faction leader of Erudite. Beatrice's father hated Erudite and he hated Jeanine Matthews even more. It was easy for Beatrice to hate the woman when she listened to her father complain about Jeanine, but it wasn't so easy to hate the woman now when no one else was around. Jeanine certainly seemed as robotic as her father always said, but there was something else in the woman’s cold eyes. Beatrice thought she saw strength and determination.
She’s also really beautiful, Beatrice thought as she continued to stare at the photo. She knew what her father would have to say about that. He would remind Beatrice that most beauty was a sign of vanity, and that vain people could never be trusted.
But maybe Jeanine Matthews wasn’t as horrible as Beatrice’s father believed. Maybe Jeanine wasn't horrible at all. Maybe she was simply misunderstood.
Beatrice hoped that was the case, and not because of any Abnegation values. Erudite was one of the factions Beatrice was considering.
Before the Choosing Ceremony, everyone took an aptitude test to see which faction they had the highest aptitude for. Beatrice had been relying on that test to tell her where she would belong. According to her test result, however, she had an aptitude for three factions — Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite.
Having an aptitude for more than one faction meant that she was Divergent. Beatrice almost rolled her eyes when she found out. Of course she was Divergent. That was exactly her kind of luck.
Divergents were rare, but not unheard of. Being Divergent meant that a person could fit well into more than one faction. The only bad thing about this was that Divergents didn’t conform quite as fully or quickly as other members of a faction, which seemed harmless enough except that the purpose of the five factions was to keep the peace. The more the members within any given faction conformed to their faction, the more easily peace could be maintained in society.
Since Divergents could not conform to any faction as easily as others, they presented a risk of disrupting the peace. Of course, that fear was unfounded, but there was still a stigma attached to divergence, enough stigma to make Tori – the woman who administered Beatrice’s aptitude test – alter the results so that it showed Beatrice having an aptitude for only one faction instead of three; Abnegation.
Before Beatrice left the testing room, Tori warned her not to tell anyone that she was Divergent, including family and friends.
“Why?” Beatrice had asked automatically. Before she had started the test, Tori had made a comment about how unusual it was to meet a curious Abnegation. It seemed that Beatrice’s divergence explained that quirk and it probably explained a lot more about her. Maybe telling her family about her divergence would help them understand why she struggled with selflessness. Maybe if they knew, then they would be more understanding. Maybe they wouldn't be so harsh with her shortcomings.
“To make your life easier,” Tori had answered. “Once people find out, there’s no going back. My brother is Divergent," she added in a whisper as if someone could overhear them. "He’s capable of doing anything, but no one will hire him. It’s even hard for him to keep a meaningful relationship. Trust me, you don’t want a life like that if you can avoid it.”
Beatrice had a hard time believing people could be that cruel, but then she reminded herself that there was a reason why the people in this society were the only people left on the planet.
Her decision hadn't gotten any easier since she took that aptitude test. She was still deciding between the three factions.
Abnegation, the selfless faction.
Dauntless, the brave faction.
Or Erudite, the intelligent faction.
Where would Beatrice belong?
Tori recommended staying in Abnegation, but the fact that Beatrice was still considering other factions seemed proof enough that she was too selfish to stay.
If Jeanine Matthews was as evil as Beatrice's father always said she was, then Erudite wasn't an option.
It seemed like Dauntless was Beatrice's only real option. Dauntless had always appealed to her, but now she wasn't sure she would be happy spending her entire life there. Maybe she wouldn't be happy anywhere. Maybe happiness was out of her reach; but freedom — she was sure Dauntless was a place where she could feel free, where she wouldn't feel suffocated by restrictions. But was Dauntless the only place that offered that kind of freedom? — Freedom to be herself?
Amity came to mind, but Amity, along with Candor, was ruled out by the aptitude test. Beatrice would probably feel more of an outsider there than she already did at Abnegation.
She could feel free at Erudite, maybe. Although factions lived mostly apart, she had seen how Erudites communicated with each other. They were free to express themselves fully whenever they wanted to. They didn't have to censor themselves for the comfort of others. It seemed nice.
If Jeanine Matthews wasn't the evil person Andrew believed her to be, then maybe... Maybe Beatrice would transfer to Erudite.
Beatrice sighed as she stared down at Jeanine’s face. She already felt guilty for even thinking about leaving Abnegation. To leave Abnegation for the one and only faction that her father hated didn’t seem like an option.
Yet, somewhere deep inside, Beatrice felt like Erudite was where she might belong the most.