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She stared at the baby on the floor in front of her. It was blinking its eyes rapidly and then it opened its mouth and let out a wail.
The girl froze. This could not be happening. She couldn't not have just had a baby. Except everything hurt and there was a baby in front of her. She was sixteen. Her parents would be home soon and it was the middle of a school week and oh god. Her life was over.
The baby wailed and she picked her up. She grabbed a towel from the rack and rubbed the baby down, trying to get rid of some of the sticky parts. She held the baby to her chest and the baby latched on all of a sudden, sucking away. She had a baby.
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She had been avoiding her mother and school for the past few days. It wasn’t easy, but she couldn't tell about the baby. She couldn’t tell how much she had ruined everything, how stupid she had been. She had had to sneak out to buy diapers and wipes and an outfit, because she was supposed to be sick in bed. Now it was Sunday and she couldn't keep doing this. So the girl lied some more.
"Ella's parents are going out of town on a business trip this week. They said she could stay, but they'd feel better if she had a friend with her. Can I go stay please?"
The girl sat through question after question and finally, her Mom said yes. So she packed a bag with stuff and then lined her backpack with a blanket and put the baby in there. "Shhhhhh" She whispered as she zipped it up.
The girl waved goodbye to her Mom and walked out of the house. She hopped into her car and drove to some motel on the outskirts of town. She rented a room and fed her baby and put her to sleep and stared at the wall because she didn't know what to do.
She couldn't have a baby. She couldn't raise a baby. She couldn't just abandon her baby in a park where it might die. She didn’t know what to do anymore.
She fell asleep sobbing into the dirty pillow of the dirty motel.
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Crying woke her up at three in the morning. The baby was awake and hungry. She hadn't named the baby yet. She couldn't do that, because then the baby was really hers.
She held the baby close and rocked it and let it feed. The girl pulled out her computer and opened the internet. She needed to do something to not fall asleep and drop the baby. She was so tired, and she hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep. AmazingPhil was at the top of her subscription box and she smiled. He was one of the best.
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It was Monday. The girl made an awful plan, but it was a plan. She fed the baby and turned on the TV and locked the door behind her. She had missed too much school and she had to go in and if they called her Mom after she skipped Monday too she was screwed. So she went to school and made some lame joke about the flu.
Her friends said she still looked like shit and she laughed and agreed. It was probably because she was so worried about the baby. Or the fact that she had a baby. She still hurt all over, she barely had any sleep and she wasn’t doing anything well. The girl made it through the day, but just barely. She raced to the hotel trying not to focus on the gnawing pit in her stomach and the voice saying you left your baby for eight hours over and over again.
She walked in the baby was crying and red in the face. The girl picked her up and burst into tears. She didn't know what she was doing she didn't know how to do this.
The next day she fed her baby and went to school. She stayed for three hours, and went to the nurse and said she still felt sick from the flu and could she please go home. The nurse took one look at her and sent her on her way. The girl left relieved.
The baby was crying when she got back, but not nearly as a hard. She picked her up and fed her and watched more of her two very favorite youtubers and got an idea.
It was Dan and Phil. They had the money. They loved each other. They had flexible jobs. They could take care of the baby. She trusted them.
She knew where they lived too. The summer before her and her friend played detective. She hadn't done anything when she found out. She just ran into Dan in the store and took a photo with him. She wasn't going to be one of those crazy stalker fans. But it worked out, because now she knew where they lived, and she had a baby she didn't know what to do with, and she had a plan.
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The girl very carefully packed the backpack with the things the baby would need. She stared at the onesies in her hand. She pulled out a purple one covered in grapes because it was her favorite and she tucked it into her overnight bag. She might not have been a good mother, but she wasn’t going to forget her baby.
The matching purple striped onesie was packed, along with the yellow and orange polka dot one. She put on a fresh diaper and dressed the baby in a little orange outfit with a lion on the front. It was perfect and it would draw them in.
She braided her out of control hair and pinned it under a baseball cap. She fed the baby and rocked it to sleep. Then she carefully lay it into the backpack and zipped it mostly shut. She left it open on top, for some air for the baby. She had looked up the train schedule before hand. The train took about an hour, and the baby normally slept for two or three, so the girl figured it would be fine. She should have just enough time to drop it off before the baby woke up.
The train called out the stop and the girl let out a sigh of relief. She made and the baby didn’t fuss. She got off and walked out as fast she could. She looked around, trying to remember exactly where Dan and Phil lived. She walked and turned and looked at street signs and then she saw the grocery store she had found Dan in. Perfect.
The girl knew the way now. She found their apartment and smiled. She opened the backpack fully and pulled out the baby. She held her close and kissed her beautiful sleeping baby girl. “I love you baby girl” She whispered.
The girl pulled out the blankets and arranged them and placed the baby in them. She pulled out the bag of nappies and wipes and the teddy and the letter.
She kissed the baby again and rang the bell. She stood leaned against the door, hoping to hear some sign of movement.
The girl panicked and worried they weren’t home, even though they claimed they were always home, because it was cold and she couldn’t leave the baby. If they weren’t home, she didn’t know what to do.
She rang the bell again and knocked once and heard a voice shouting. “I’m coming!” The girl recognized the voice and breathed a sigh of relief. That was without a doubt the one and only, the amazing Phil. She had the right house and they were home and now her baby was too.
She turned and ran away as fast as she could.