Shits and Giggles

by LocalTrashCanTM

Summary:

It’s a chaotic plotless chat fic
Fuck around and find out for yourself

Notes:

Bunny: now stop being gay and help us bring in groceries!

Dwaekki: yes sir! 100% hetero Changbin is on the way!

Ferret: there's no way in heaven or hell I could ever pretend to be straight so flaming homo Hyunjin will not be helping.

Chapter 1

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

Quokka: LEE KNOW GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

Chick: trouble in paradise?

Puppy: with Minho hyung? Always

Dwaekki: lmaooo

Wolf: what happened this time?

Quokka: MINHO LEFT ME AT THE MARKET!

Ferret: LMAO NICE ONE LEE KNOW HYUNG

Fox: that might be my fault but I also do not accept responsibility for my actions.

Puppy: how is it your fault

Quokka: YEAH WTF

Fox: I bet Minho hyung 20 bucks that he wouldn't leave you at the store.

Wolf: why did you make a bet like that?

Fox: idk I was bored
Fox: and maybe I wanted to see if he would actually abandon someone for money
Fox: and he did
Fox: I may have lost money but I gained the knowledge of how much value we have to him

Ferret: I'd abandon Han for an eggplant

Chick: but you don't like egg plant?

Ferret: exactly

Dwaekki: why isn't Lee know hyung here?

Wolf: bc he's being a responsible driver and not texting and driving.
Wolf: like how you SHOULD drive

Dwaekki: can we not lecture my driving rn? I'm about to be the one to go pick up Han from the market he was left at.
Dwaekki: which speaking of, what market and are you ok?

Quokka: besides getting my heart broken and stabbed in the back? I'm doing ok. And I'm by the market that's 20 minutes away from campus so PLS COME PICK ME UP NOW!

Bunny: @dwaekki don't bother picking him up. I'm about to turn back into the parking lot to grab him.

Dwaekki: OH SO THE GREAT LEE KNOW DOES BREAK THE RULES
Dwaekki: SUCK IT CHAN

Ferret: and y'all say I'm over dramatic

Bunny: I'll have you know mr.Seo I am currently at a red light so I'm not actually driving. And sorry Hannie, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

Quokka: I'm so gonna get you back for this.

Fox: you won't get the money now that I'm aware you didn't actually leave him
Fox: coward

Chick: *in an old western voice* now that there's someone fightin' words partner.

Chan: not this again

Puppy: No role playing in chat!

Ferret: STOPPPPPPP

Fox: WE SAID NO MORE ROLE PLAYING FELIX

Dwaekki: DONT YOU DARE START THAT AGAIN

Chick:.....

Quokka: *in an even older western voice* There are no rules out here partner.

Chick: bro ♥️

Quokka: bro ♥️

Bunny: Gay
Bunny: also hurry up and get your ass in the car Han Jisung, my frozen foods are thawing.

Quokka: I WOULDNT EVEN HAVE TO RUN TO GET IN THE CAR IF SOMEONE HADNT ABANDONED ME!?!

Bunny: are you still on that? That's so 10 minutes ago. Focus on the now.
Bunny: the now being you getting into thE FUCKING CAR ALREADY

Quokka: IM GETTING THE AUX WHEN I GET IN OR ELSE IM GOING TO BE A PROBLEM!

Bunny: Fine! Just get in!

Wolf: let us know when you're home and we'll help carry in groceries.

Quokka: that's if we ever make it back
Quokka: I might just make Minho hyung drive us off a bridge as payback for abandoning me

Chick: pls make it back! I need to give kisses to my sweet rp buddy 🥺🥺

Quokka:....

Quokka: eta is 12 minutes

Felix: that gives me 12 minutes to give someone else kisses!!

Ferret: everyone should drop their current location in chat right now for no particular reason!
Ferret: Felix you should start!

Puppy: desperate much?

Ferret: I'll happily admit I desperately want Felix to give me his sweet kisses.
Ferret: Im no coward.
Ferret: so, Felix where are you currently and can I be the one you kiss while you wait for Han to come home?
Ferret: oh nvm

Wolf: just in case anyone wanted to know, Felix was in my room doing homework with me
Wolf: and then he literally threw his book off his lap and ran out the room.
Wolf: he didn't even close my door

Puppy: I'll come close it for you if you let me chill in there.
Puppy: I was hanging with Hyunjin in my room and now he's... occupied

Wolf: You're welcome to hang in my room anytime!

Quokka: hell yeah the bitches are hanging out.

Puppy: do you have to say that every time Chan hyung and I hang out by ourselves?

Quokka: yes

Ferret: we were gonna make tshirts for you guys 😔

Puppy:....
Puppy: I can't tell if you're joking or not.

Wolf: they aren't

Bunny: they aren't
Bunny: now stop being gay and help us bring in groceries!

Dwaekki: yes sir! 100% hetero Changbin is on the way!

Ferret: there's no way in heaven or hell I could ever pretend to be straight so flaming homo Hyunjin will not be helping.

Fox: I can't wait to watch hyung air fry you.

Ferret: I CAN ACTUALLY GET ALL THE GROCERIES BY MYSELF! HAHHAH

Chick: I've never seen Hyunjin run so fast in my life.

Puppy: I love how Jeongin is making threats in Minho hyung's honor.

Bunny: I'm so proud ♥️♥️

Fox: ♥️

Chick: no fair I want Innie love 🥺🥺

Bunny: you can have some when you help bring in groceries!

Dwaekki: CAN I GET INNIE LOVE SINCE IM ALREADY HELPING???

Ferret: ^^^!!!!!!

Bunny: sure why not

Dwaekki: YAY

Ferret: prepared to be loved Innie

Fox: wtf did I just get signed up for!?

Wolf: our love ♥️

Quokka: for the small small price of a kiss on the cheek I'll let you hide in our room when everyone comes to get their love from you!

Fox: I can fend them off

Bunny: not if I hold you down 😈

Fox:..... Hannie hyung is that offer still on the table?

Quokka: my cheek is waiting 🥰

 

Minsung

LK: I shouldn't have left you at the store.
LK: I'm really sorry.
LK: I didn't mean to leave you alone that long.
LK: I was just gonna drive in a circle around the store but I got caught by the red light then I couldn't turn in because of some idiot who didn't know how to drive and then got caught by the red light AGAIN but anyway
LK: I'm really sorry.

HJ: It's ok hyung. I'm not actually mad I'm just annoyed.
HJ: Did Innie give you the money?

LK: He gave me 30.
LK: Said I could us the extra 10 for the trouble I'll be put through.

HJ: He didn't spoil my plans did he?

LK: As if I would let you know if he did.

HJ: ah so he hasn't. Good

LK: I thought you said you weren't mad?

HJ: I'm not, but you've started a war my friend

LK: oh dear god

HJ: and let's just say
HJ: You aren't the only one who made a bet with Innie 😈

LK: Ooooooo
LK: I'm sooooooo scared 😒

HJ: just you wait hyung
HJ: just you wait

Boots and Cats? No, Fox and Cat!

YJ: Just you wait

LK: Bring it on maknae

Chapter 2

Summary:

Wolf: I am running on 50 minutes of in-consecutive sleep, 2 Red Bulls, and pure spite at this point, so excuse me if I decided that you being taped up was a 9 am problem instead of a 7 am one.

Bunny: you know what, fairs fair.

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

Dwaekki: why do I hear evil laughter at 7 in the morning on a Saturday??

Quokka: plans are planning
Quokka: actions are happening
Quokka: war is upon us

Dwaekki: ......
Dwaekki: forget I asked anything

Puppy: is too early to be that cryptic, what the fuck are you doing?

Fox: things♥️

Chick: is each other the thing you're doing? If so can I join 😁♥️

Puppy: it's too early to be horny Felix

Ferret: speak for yourself.
Ferret: can I also join if the thing you are doing is each other?

Wolf: WHO THE FUCK DUCK TAPED LEE KNOW TO THE DOOR

Ferret: WHICH DOOR IS HE TAPED TO

Chick: OMG WHAT

Puppy: HYUNG SEND A PIC

Dwaekki: the evil laughter is starting to make sense
Dwaekki: oh and it's getting louder

Wolf: you two are so fucked.

Puppy: forget about their imminent death, send us a pic of hyung NOW

Ferret: forget that which door is he taped to???

Quokka: laundry room door

Ferret: thank you ♥️

Dwaekki: oh you guys are fucked for real

Puppy: this is beautiful
Puppy: how is he still sleeping?

Fox: he didn't wake up the entire time we taped him up.
Fox: we thought he did bc he started screaming curse words at you but then he started snoring again

Quokka: don't wake him up! Let him figure it out.

Chick: LMAO SEUNGMIN DID YOU MAKE
POPCORN

Puppy: I'm going to thoroughly enjoy the show of lee know hyung waking up, getting down, and then destroying you two.

Dwaekki: make room for me 🥺

Puppy: for a soda

Dwaekki: deal

Wolf: I'm going back to bed, wake me if I need to burry a body.

Ferret: ......
Ferret: damn not even chan hyung is gonna protect y'all

Quokka: 👁️👄👁️

Fox: I'll be ok, I'm adorable. 🥰

Bunny: not for long

Dwaekki: oh look, the laughter turned to screams

Fox: WHO LET HIM DOWN!!!!

Bunny: our boyfriend Felix is very easy to persuade 😈

Quokka: FELIX

Chick: IM SORRY! HE LOOKED SO SAD AND PROMISED ME KISSES AND CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD I SAY NO!!!

Ferret: and he promised dinner for us but not you guys 😇

Fox: when did you wake up!?!

Bunny: when chan hyung ever so gently screamed in my fucking face

Wolf: excuse me for being scared of seeing my boyfriend taped up to the door

Bunny: yet you didn't get me down???

Wolf: I am running on 50 minutes of in-consecutive sleep, 2 Red Bulls, and pure spite at this point, so excuse me if I decided that you being taped up was a 9 am problem instead of a 7 am one.

Bunny: you know what, fairs fair.
Bunny: just you two wait
Bunny: you may have won the battle but I will win the war

Wolf: I'm too tired for this goodnight

Chick: can I come cuddle with you hyung 🥺🥺

Wolf: absolutely, doors open

Chick: Yay!

 

🚫No Hyungs Allowed 🚫

Ferret: one of us is getting hyung cuddled and two of us are getting hyung murdered. What an eventful morning and it's not even 8 am

Puppy: we got 2 more minutes till then, can't wait to see what happens.

Chick: well it's not sleepy sex bc Chan hyung is passed the fuck out

Quokka: as he should be. He's been working too hard recently 😢

Puppy: his classes are kicking his ass fr

Fox: we should do something nice for hyung when he wakes up

Chick: on it

Puppy: do not wake him up with a blow job

Chick: why is everyone a hater??

Ferret: yeah Felix don't wake him up with a blow job
Ferret: instead both of us should wake him up with a blow job

Quokka: what if you guys let him wake up naturally then we can have a wake up orgy (°▽°)

Chick: I like the way you think.

Ferret: we should move this to the gc that Chan hyungs not in. Changbin hyung will be mad he didn't get invited to wake up sex.

Quokka: operation love Chan is a go

 

A lawless land

Chick: we have a plan

Dwaekki: oh god pls don't make me next

Ferret: 🤨

Dwaekki: don't make me next in the prank war pls, I will remain neutral just pls leave me be

Quokka: oh I'm so gonna rope you into the next prank

Dwaekki: I'll say no

Fox: you'd really say no to spending quality time with lil ole us 🥺🥺

Dwaekki: ......

Bunny: you're not too big for the air fryer remember that

Dwaekki: I'm moving out

Ferret: YOU CANT WE HAVE TO LOVE ON CHAN

Puppy: before we got side tracked, we came here to inform you guys we are going to be giving Chan lots of love and care bc he is struggling with school rn and deserves it.

Chick: and we are having wake up sex!
Chick: if Chan hyung wants too that is

Dwaekki: god I hope he does

Bunny: is he still asleep

Ferret: like a baby

Puppy: i thought Felix was cuddling him

Ferret: fun fact, Chan hyungs bed can hold three people

Chick: especially since two of us are twinks

Quokka: can the bed fit 4 people with 3 being twinks?

Ferret: only one way to find out

Quokka: 😈😈😈😈

Bunny: let me know when he wakes up and I'll make him some brunch.

Puppy: can you make us all brunch?

Bunny: are you Chan hyung?

Puppy: for Minho hyung brunch? I can be

Bunny: you meet the height requirements but I'm sorry seungminnie, you just aren't dilf enough

Quokka: did anyone have "Minho hyung actually typing the word 'dilf' in a gc" as part of their 2023 bingo card?

Fox: another one bites the dust

Chick: I SHOULDVE PUT IT

Ferret: fuck I had milf not dilf

Puppy: and you guys thought Innie and I were crazy for putting it. Look at you now

Chick: back to the point at hand
Chick: hyung doesn't seem to be waking up soon but as soon as his eyes open we'll let y'all know.

Quokka: listen for the sounds of moaning and bed creaking

Puppy: ONLY IF HYUNG WANTS TOO

Ferret: sir yes sir 🫡

Chapter 3

Summary:

"Bold of you to assume that with the 3 of us it would take more than 5 minutes to give Chan hyung an earth shattering orgasm," Hyunjin said standing up while attempting to help Han up. Attempting being the keyword since Han was still too busy laughing to actually get up, so he was more so dragged up to his feet.

When Chan woke up, he was not expecting to come face to face with the one and only Han Jisung. Which is exactly why he screamed in his face, and pushed Han off of him and onto the floor.The sounds of laughter from two other people drew Chan's attention to his left, where he saw Felix and Hyunjin clutching each other in their fits of laughter.

"I was going to kiss you when you woke up, but now I don't think you deserve it," Han said as he got up and rubbed his now aching arm.

"Don't worry Chan hyung," Hyunjin started," I'll give you as many kisses as you want for that. That was fucking hilarious."

"I'm sorry Hannie," Chan said pulling Han into a hug," but why the fuck would you get so close to my face while I'm sleeping?"

"Because," Han said pulling away from the hug," I was checking to see if you were about to wake up, and obviously you were."

Before anything else could be said, the bedroom door flew open, crashing into the wall. Changbin stood there, mouth agape. With 4 pairs of eyes on him, Changbin began to explain himself.

"Listen, Felix texted that you were awake, and we've been talking about morning blowjobs with you since you went back to sleep. So, excuse me if I got over excited when I received the text."

From the hallway, all 5 of them heard a hurried set of footprints coming there way. The 4 on the bed got to watch as Seungmin ran straight into Changbin, effectively knocking him over, and scream at all of them "Did Chan hyung agree!? Have you guys even asked!?"

Hyunjin and Han ended up on the floor on top of each other laughing their asses off. Felix was also laughing his ass off, but he was the only one with enough sense to not fall on the floor. Poor Chan was debating if going back to sleep would make this weird event in front of him stop or not.

"We didn't get a chance to ask before Mr.Thunder-dick barged in here dick swinging," Felix said through his giggles.

"My dick was still respectfully in my pants!" Changbin yelled as seungmin glared at him. "Minnie I swear," Changbin said grabbing the boy by his hands,"I didn't come in here dick swinging. They're lying on my name."

"Chan hyung," seungmin said pulling his hands away from Changbin and facing Chan,"Lee Know hyung is making us brunch, so if you want to have morning sex I'd recommend you do it quickly or your food will get cold."

"Bold of you to assume that with the 3 of us it would take more than 5 minutes to give Chan hyung an earth shattering orgasm," Hyunjin said standing up while attempting to help Han up. Attempting being the keyword since Han was still too busy laughing to actually get up, so he was more so dragged up to his feet.

Deciding to ignore the other 4 in the room Chan looked over at Seungmin, "Thank you Seungminnie for letting me know." Chan flashed a sleepy smile at Seungmin, and Chan had the honor of watching Seungmin's face turn into a pretty shade of pink. Seungmin nodded his head in acknowledgment, and quickly made his way out the room before anyone could point out his blushing face. Sleepy Channie is cute, sue him.

Felix is staring at sleepy Chan. He's taking in his slightly puffy face, his messy bed head, the little trail of dried drool on his chin, he's never looked more breath taking. He loves seeing his boyfriends in their most softest state, and there's no softer state then when Chan wakes up.

Over taken with affection, Felix leans over and kisses Chan's cheek. Taken aback, Chan looks over at Felix slightly blushing. Then, he gives Felix the softest smile he's ever been given. He's corner of his eyes crinkled up, and his eyes were almost closed, his pretty teeth on display. And to make it better, Chan let out the softest giggle and cradled the cheek Felix kissed.

"I'm going to have us babies I swear to GOD!" Felix thought as he leaned over to kiss all over chan's face. He just couldn't help himself. Chan was giggling as each little peck was placed on a different part of his face. The other 3 in the room looked over at the two fondly, waiting for them to get done so they could all go eat together.

Once Felix finally pulled away from Chan, Hyunjin walked over to the pair on the bed and placed a small peck onto Chan's lips.

"Let's go eat now ya lil love birds," Changbin said walking up to Chan, and holding his hand out.

Chan laughed at that, but grabbed Changbin's hand nonetheless. Changbin helped Chan get out of bed, and he too placed a kiss on his lips.

"I WANT TO KISS CHAN HYUNG TOO!" Han yelled, being upset at the fact he had yet to kiss his hyung. He rushed over and squeezed himself between Changbin and Chan before grabbing Chan's face and pulling him into a kiss.

Changbin, having been ever so rudely pulled away from one of his hyungs lips, mumbled something that's suspiciously sounded like "little brat" before heading off into the kitchen to eat brunch.

Soon, after about 5 more kisses from each of the 3 remaining in the room, all 4 of the boys made their way out of Chan's room and into the dining room. When they entered, they were greeted to the site of a huge western style brunch. A plate of pancakes, bowls of mixed sliced fruit, French toast, eggs, bacon, and more were sitting on the table making everyone's mouth water.

"You made all of this?" Chan asked Minho.

"I didn't do it alone," Minho said putting down a pitcher full of orange juice," Seungmin and Innie helped me out."The two youngest faces turned a lovely shade of pink at their help being mentioned.

"Thank you," Chan said kissing Minho on the head,"all of you," he then moved on to give the youngests a kiss on their heads as well.

With Chan and the horny squad finally sitting down, the 8 of them began to eat. As they were eating, Chan couldn't help but think of how lucky he was to have met all of them.

"I couldn't imagine my life without them."

Chapter 4

Summary:

Quokka: Fuck the dead!
Quokka: wait
Quokka: actually don't do that
Quokka: that is a crime

Ferret: when they said "be gay do crime" I don't think they meant that

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

Puppy: ok be real
Puppy: but on a scale from 1-10 how much do you guys all love a certain Hwang Hyunjin?

Quokka: like a 6

Ferret: OMG

Chick: 10! 😘

Bunny: 5

Fox: today... maybe a 7

Ferret: wow thanks guys 🙄

Dwaekki: a solid 9

Wolf: 10!!

Chick: I take back my 10 since Hyunjinnie isn't grateful for my love so a 9.5

Ferret: NO WAIT FELIX IM SORRY I LOVE YOU DEARLY ♥️

Puppy: too late the counts are in the 9.5 is the official score you get from Felix.

Wolf: wait what is happening

Ferret: you're watching my judging and potential execution

Quokka: oh did you make a bet with seungmin?

Ferret: yes 😔

Fox: lmao that's your own dumb ass fault

Chick: we do have the "don't make a bet with Seungmin rule" for a reason

Ferret: I thought I could actually win this one!

Fox: that's how he gets you

Bunny: is our dear seungminnie more evil then I thought?

Puppy: not evil, just smart

Wolf: I don't even think I want to know

Dwaekki: I do, spill

Puppy: AH HA!
Puppy: the average score you got Mr.Hwang Hyunjin is in fact not 8! It's actually 7.75 so therefore you owe me lunch!

Ferret: good to know I'm not loved 😭

Puppy: if we were to add my score of 10 to the average it would have come down to 8 plus change, but we can't count my score bc I'm in the betting pool.

Ferret: I can't decide if I want to punch you or kiss you so I'm going to decide that on the walk over to your room.

Puppy: fair

Dwaekki: what just happened?

Wolf: I've stopped asking questions a long time ago. It makes it easier to sleep at night not knowing why they do the things they do.

Fox: that's a weird way to say that you're just a lame old man

Bunny: Yang jeongin, didn't they teach you it's rude to insult your elders!?
Bunny: now apologize to the nice old man

Wolf: I'm a only a year older then you?????

Quokka: this isn't about age this is about vibes

Wolf: ??????

Chick: what a boomer response

Wolf: I'm going to go watch seungmin and Hyunjin either fist fight or fuck and at this point I don't care which one it is.

Chick: I'd so go join if I wasn't stuck at the stupid library doing this stupid report on this stupid dead person and their stupid studies

Quokka: Fuck the dead!
Quokka: wait
Quokka: actually don't do that
Quokka: that is a crime

Ferret: when they said "be gay do crime" I don't think they meant that

Quokka: DID YOU NOT READ THE PART WHERE I SPECIFICALLY SAID NOT TO
Quokka: IN A COURT OF LAW IM SAFE BITCH

Ferret: this group chat is a hostile place for me

Fox: I thought you were fisting seungmin?

Dwaekki: that did not take long to get extremely fucked up

Ferret: I'm not even gonna ask, but no we started making out then Chan hyung came in and is now kissing seungminnie but I came to silence my phone bc y'all text too much

Chick: hyunjinnie's right, we shouldn't be texting.
Chick: we should be watching hyung and seungmin making out 😳

Quokka: race you there

Fox: changbin hyung just flew out of his seat, the sunshine twins do not stand a chance.

Bunny: wanna make a bet 😈

Fox: unfortunately for you hyung, I am not a betting man. I've learned my lesson

Bunny: you're no fun

Fox: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dwaekki: stop texting and join the kissing party!

Bunny: on our way!

Chapter 5

Summary:

Wolf: I'm PRETTY SURE lactose intolerant people are still allergic they just don't care

Fox: we'll maybe that's what hyung should do
Fox: just stop caring
Fox: obviously

Ferret: yeah stop being a coward hyung and just get over it

This is a safe space for rp♥️

Lixie: how's your war with Hyung going?

Hannie: it's all quiet on the western front

Lixie: oh you're fucked

Hannie: I know 😭😭

Lixie: don't worry, if hyung hurts you I'll just kiss it better 😘

Hannie: what if I want hyung to hurt me 😏

Lixie: we all know who the masochists in this relationship are and it's not you baby girl

Hannie: 😳😳😳
Hannie: call me baby girl again and I'll let you do whatever 🫠

Lixie: don't tempt me 😉

Hannie: oh I'm so going to tempt you now
Hannie: I'm going to get you so horny just you wait

Lixie: doesn't take much for me since I'm dating 7 of the hottest men on this planet

Hannie: so true
Hannie: but you've now challenged me so prepared to be seduced

Lixie: I can't wait 🥰

 

Stray Kids 🔥🔥🔥

Dwaekki: not that I'm against it
Dwaekki: but why is jisung in fishnets and a skirt???

Ferret: pics now or it didn't happen

Bunny: yeah what he said

Dwaekki: now do I do the nice thing if sharing a pic of him, or do I do the selfish thing of gatekeeping 🤔
Dwaekki: sorry guys I need some time to think about this

Bunny: way to be homophobic

Ferret: I'm about to be gay do crime
Ferret: and the crime will be first degree manslaughter

Bunny: what is this amateur hour?
Bunny: go with vehicular manslaughter
Bunny: it's more fun

Puppy: I'm guessing you're speaking from experience?

Bunny: who's to say

Fox: I don't think that'll hold up in a court of law

Bunny: fuck the law

Ferret: your honor, you simply just had to be there

Fox: your honor, I call cap

Puppy: your honor, my client simply did a government mandated vibe check on the plaintiff and unfortunately for him, his vibes were simply off

Wolf: please never start a law firm

Ferret: WE SHOULD START A LAW FIRM

Wolf: 👁️👄👁️
Wolf: what-
Wolf: what did I JUST say

Ferret: in my defense, you texted that while
I was already half way through texting what I said.

Bunny: guys forget the law firm
Bunny: baby girl Han jisung exists and we aren't seeing it

Wolf: where's Felix? He'd normally be all over this rn with us

Dwaekki: I've come back with news to share
Dwaekki: 1. Tried to get a pic of Han for the gc and he asked me not to so 🖕
Dwaekki: 2. He's seducing Felix so after he gets done with seducing him we can "go feral" (his words not mine)

Bunny: boooooo

Dwaekki: take your comments questions concerns and complaints up with him not me

Fox: isn't Felix in class rn?

Puppy: I bet he's going to go pick up Felix from said class

Fox: oooooooo

Ferret: you're not allowed to make bets anymore!

Puppy: if you'll recall, the last bet we had, I did not in fact make the bet. If I remember correctly, and I do, you made the bet.

Dwaekki: I'm still confused about that bet

Puppy: Hyunjin and I were discussing who is probably the favorite boyfriend (it's all theoretical we both know you all love us equally blah blah) and then Hyunjin said and I quote "I bet they love me at least 8 out of 10." And of course I had to make a bet that the average would be below 8 and it was.
Puppy: with me included though, it would have been over 8 by .03, but we cant include mine bc that would make it biased.

Ferret: I still don't think it would have been biased.

Puppy: sorry but I am a man of logic reason and science so therefore I cannot be included into the testing data.
Puppy: The tester cannot be the tested.

Bunny: speaking of science
Bunny: Seungmin, I got you a gift

Puppy: what is it

Bunny: a book about iPhone photography

Ferret: you should give that to Chan hyung
Ferret: maybe then he'll actually post pictures of himself to insta

Wolf: why am I always being attacked?

Bunny: bc you make it so easy

Wolf: by existing??????

Fox: exactly!

Wolf: ....

Puppy: tell me more about the book pls hyung

Bunny: right, sorry. Basically it's just about how to take professional looking photos on an iPhone plus it's got some other cool stuff.
Bunny: and even if you don't like the book bc I know how you feel about iPhone photography, you can at least maybe get some inspiration from the photos in it.

Puppy: Hyung can I come to you and get it now? Or do I have to wait for you to give it to me?

Bunny: it's in my room on my table if you want it

Puppy: is it ok? Would you rather give it to me in person?

Bunny: you can just go get it

Puppy: are you mad?

Bunny: no why would I be?

Wolf: Minho don't forget sometimes you have to do the /srs /j sometimes to help us understand texting tones

Bunny: shit sorry seungmin. No, I'm not mad and I do not mind if you go into my room and grab it /srs

Puppy: I'm sorry, I just thought I was pushing too much

Bunny: not at all. It's a gift about one of your special interests. I'd be a monster to make you wait for it

Puppy: you wouldn't be a monster, but thank you hyung! When you get back to the apartment I'll give you a kiss 😘

Bunny: suddenly I'm running

Wolf: wait where have you been all day? I thought your class got canceled?

Bunny: the class did get cancelled but that's the class where I'm doing the group project with Seonghwa and Soyeon so we decided to go to the library and finish it early.
Bunny: it's been done for like an hour now but as I was walking home I saw a new cat cafe had opened and well you can guess the rest

Wolf: wait where?

Bunny: you know the place that used to be the old record store?

Wolf: no did they shut down the record store?

Bunny: no actually, they moved the record store upstairs and now the bottom is a cat cafe

Wolf: omg that's actually amazing

Bunny: right???

Wolf: and the cat cafe opened today?

Bunny: no apparently they've been open for a week now but they decided to not bother with advertising it for some reason

Wolf: that's weird

Bunny: yeah but whatever I found it anyway
Bunny: thought they could hide these adorable little guys from me

Dwaekki: it's times like rn where I wish I didn't have an allergy

Ferret: just get over it
Ferret: obviously

Wolf: I pretty sure allergies don't work like fears

Fox: yes they do
Fox: tell that to lactose intolerant people

Wolf: I'm PRETTY SURE lactose intolerant people are still allergic they just don't care

Fox: we'll maybe that's what hyung should do
Fox: just stop caring
Fox: obviously

Ferret: yeah stop being a coward hyung and just get over it

Dwaekki: why do I bother to say anything ever

Bunny: we're all still trying to figure that one out

Dwaekki: no matter, at least I'm the only one here who got to see Han jisung in a skirt and fishnets so 🖕

*Fox has removed Dwaekki from the chat*

 

Fox: now say something hyung
Fox: oh wait
Fox: you can't 😁

Bunny: I love my boyfriends ♥️

Chapter 6

Summary:

Lixie: I'd watch it with the teasing tho, you're inner brat is showing

Hannie: maybe I want you to punish me

Lixie: be careful what you wish for baby girl

Muscle Bread and Muscle Hyung

Muscle Hyung: pls let me back into the main group chat

Muscle bread: for a price I will

Muscle Hyung: name it

Muscle bread: lunch every day this week
Read

 

Gym Rats

Binnie: you have admin rights right?

Channie: I believe so?
Channie: actually my rights right now are being threatened by a certain Yang Jeongin

Binnie: NOOOOOOO
Binnie: LET ME IN WHILE U STILL CAN PLS!

Channie: I will! Just give me a second pls?

Binnie: yes sir you amazing beautiful man

Channie: I'm going to regret this, but you've been added back

Binnie: where are you so I can kiss your face and maybe your dick in appreciation and gratitude?

Channie: I'm in my room, but pls no kisses of any sort. I'm trying to get this paper done before it's due in 2 hours

Binnie: oh damn
Binnie: need a body double buddy?

Channie: actually yeah I think I do
Channie: I'm trying my damnedest to actually focus on this paper but it's about some fucking geography bullshit I don't care about

Binnie: I'm omw, need anything else?

Channie: I shouldn't

Binnie: have you eaten today?

Channie:.....

Binnie: is that a no?

Channie: that's a "I've been living in a fog all day trying to do this paper and I actually cannot currently remember the last time I ate."

Binnie: I'll grab some snacks then but when you finish we're going to order food or make Lee know hyung cook for us

Channie: ok. Can you grab some pineapple juice?

Binnie: already on the list
Binnie: be there in 15 ish minutes

 

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

*Wolf has added Dwaekki to the group chat*

Fox: you're gonna get it hyung

 

This is a safe space for rp♥️

Lixie: I swear to god I'm going to do so many unholy things to you the second this class is over

Hannie: that's the plan 😉

Lixie: I'd watch it with the teasing tho, you're inner brat is showing

Hannie: maybe I want you to punish me

Lixie: be careful what you wish for baby girl

Hannie: I WONT BE IF YOU RESPOND LIKE THAT

Lixie: You're the one trying to seduce me, yet I'm the one getting you wet just over text
Lixie: you're standing outside my classroom at a college you don't even go to just to get dicked down
Lixie: what a pathetic little slut you are

Hannie: how much longer till your class is done??

Lixie: maybe about 5 more minutes

Hannie: slay

Lixie: but I do have to ask the professor about some of the things we learned today since someone decided to distract me

Hannie: what the fuck
Hannie: ask tomorrow

Lixie: do you think being a demanding brat will get you anywhere?
Lixie: brats with bad attitudes get absolutely nothing
Lixie: and I'll make sure the others won't touch you either.

Hannie: that's not fair!

Lixie: oh?
Lixie: it's not?
Lixie: that's just too bad then
Lixie: besides, you said yourself you did this all for me. All I have to do is tell the others I haven't gotten to enjoy your gift yet bc someone was being a brat, and they won't touch you until I've had my turn with you.
Lixie: bc unlike you, our other boyfriends aren't disrespectful little brats

Hannie: I think I'm going to have to go wait for you in the bathroom
Hannie: the short skirt suddenly isn't such a good idea

Lixie: pics or it didn't happen

Hannie: and suddenly there's no problem anymore

Lixie: wanna try that again baby girl?

Hannie: *sent image_2938299291*

Lixie: that's more like it
Lixie: the professors wrapping up
Lixie: what bathroom are you in?

Hannie: what about asking your professor questions?

Lixie: Fuck the questions
Lixie: what bathroom??
Lixie: nvm I see you

Chapter 7

Summary:

Ferret: it's going above the mantle

Wolf: we don't have a mantle???

Ferret: I'll build one

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

Ferret: can we pretty pls see pictures of Han in a skirt now?
Ferret: I'm fiending for it

Chick: *sent image_383892*
Chick: *sent image_590284*
Chick: *sent image_104720*
Chick: *sent image_489201*
Chick: *sent image_180743*
Chick: *sent image_539104*
Chick: happy?

Ferret: VERY
Ferret: im also very horny now

Chick: you're welcome ☺️

Ferret: *image_539104*
Ferret: can we please talk about this picture
Ferret: Han jisung
Ferret: in a pink little skirt
Ferret: with black fishnets
Ferret: and a fucking black baby tee
Ferret: WITH HICKEYS ALL ON HIS NECK
Ferret: I'm going to paint this

Quokka: omg pls do

Ferret: it's going above the mantle

Wolf: we don't have a mantle???

Ferret: I'll build one

Wolf: fair enough
Wolf: also Hannie you look really good

Quokka: thank you 😘
Quokka: I look even better now if you want to come see for yourself 😉

Chick: you're insatiable

Ferret: I would like to see 🥺

Quokka: all are welcome to come and see!

Wolf: as much as I'd love to see you, I can't. I have a paper due in an hour, but I'm almost done

Quokka: I'll be waiting!

Dwaekki: Chan hyung you have to eat after your paper remember?
Dwaekki: also you're break is almost over

Chick: i figure you're with him?

Dwaekki: body double Changbin reporting for duty!

Wolf: maybe I can see you after I eat?

Quokka: when you guys go get food or whatever let me know and I'll join!

Dwaekki: A 3RACHA DATE

Chick: I want a 3Racha date 🥺

Ferret: we can have a danceracha date ♥️

Chick: and make Minho hyung cook 😁

Ferret: @bunny why aren't you here thirsting with us?

Dwaekki: I'm pretty sure, and I could be wrong, he's taking a nap at his apartment.

Chick: hyung deserves the rest
Chick: Lixie and Jinnie and whomever else wants to join before we leave date?

Ferret: yes pls 🥰
Ferret: do any of y'all know where our youngest ones are?

Wolf: either seungmin dragged jeongin along to take pictures or vice versa, but either way they are out taking pictures

Dwaekki: we have to go now guys! Breaks over!
Dwaekki: ill text you when we're done here Hannie ♥️

Quokka: can't wait!!

 

You're a maknae Seungminnie

Innie: Hyung please talk to me
Read

Innie: Seungminnie
Read

Innie: seungminnieee
Read

Innie: pls hyung you're worrying me
Read

Innie: I understand that you don't want to talk rn, and that's completely valid, but you need to let me know if I need to come in there and help with anything or if I need to get someone

Seungminnie: I'm going to have a meltdown but I don't want to do it at the parks bathrooms but I can't let anyone see me rn Innie

Innie: I got it
Innie: I have an umbrella, bucket hat, and face mask. Will those help?

Seungminnie: no hat

Innie: no hat got it. Can I come into the bathroom or do you want me to just hand you the face mask?

Seungminnie: come in

Innie: ok hyung

3Racha get spotlight

SpearB: alright Chan hyung has finished his paper and we can order food! What do you guys want?

CB97: im fine with whatever

JOne: hyung you just finished a paper, you pick.

CB97: you guys pick, idk what I want to eat

JOne: 👊 lie again

SpearB: hyung, you just wrote a 4 page paper about some stupid paper about a boring ass topic. You deserve a treat for surviving, now what do you want. Hannie and I will literally eat anything so pls

CB97: can we get pizza and chicken?

SpearB: from your favorite places?

CB97: yes pls!

JOne: the pizza place has a new sweet and spicy bbq chicken pizza, pls can we get one. I need to try it

SpearB: remember when they had the Mac and cheese pizza and we got it when we were high and we ate all the Mac and cheese on it and didn’t eat any of the crust

CB97: I remember that bc Hyunjin the next morning busted down my bedroom door demanding to know whomst the fuck and why the fuck we ordered a crust only pizza

JOne: the crust was mid

SpearB: YOU ATE ALL OF IT!?!?!

JOne: yeah and it was mid

SpearB: I will never understand you

CB97: maybe that's a good thing

JOne: HEY

SpearB: foods ordered!

JOne: I forgot why I was mad suddenly????
JOne: lunch on Changbin hyung's bed!

SpearB: HUH!?

CB97: I second this notion

SpearB: HYUNG!

JOne: all in favor say "I"
JOne: I

CB97: I!

SpearB: ....
SpearB: you're lucky you're both cute
SpearB: I

JOne: then it's settled!
JOne: Race y'all to Binnie's room!

Chapter 8

Notes:

CW: autistic meltdowns mentioned

Seungmin was half way through reading his new book he got from Minho when a knock at his door interrupted him. Not bothering to stop reading, Seungmin said a hopefully loud enough "come in." Whoever it was, quietly entered his room and sat next to him on his bed.

Seungmin still didn't bother with acknowledging who it was. If they needed him for anything they would get his attention. Seungmin finished with the pages he was reading when the person finally spoke.

"Hyung," ah so it was jeongin,"do you have any plans for the day?"

"My only plan is to finish reading this book, after that I have nothing to do."

"Would you like to go out with me?"

"I'm already dating you Innie," Seungmin said softly smiling at his own joke as he began to read again.

"Oh shut up," jeongin said jokingly getting up pretending to leave.

"Don't forget to shut the door,"seungmin said laying
down on his bed playing into the bit. That might have been his downfall though as jeongin saw it as an opportunity to jump on top of him.

Seungmin let out a groan once Jeongin's body collided with his. "Innie!" Seungmin yelled as he realized his book was trapped between them. "You're gonna bend my book weird, please get off."

Jeongin quickly got off of seungmin when he said that,"I'm sorry hyung! Is your book ok?"

Seungmin looked at his book, but luckily thanks to how he was holding it, the book didn't get damaged.

"It's fine Innie, sorry for yelling," Seungmin said bookmarking his spot.

"It's ok hyung. In hindsight, jumping on top of you probably wasn't a great idea," jeongin said moving to the opposite end of the bed.

"Did you want to do something with me today?" Seungmin asked trying to see what Jeongin had wanted.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to see if you wanted to go out and run some errands with me. But, I was also thinking we could stop by, I don't know, the park or something."

"What errands do you need to do, and why do you want to go to the park?" Seungmin asked grabbing his book again to just hold.

"We'll I was thinking maybe you could try out some of the new things you learned in the book," Jeongin said pointing to said book.

"But I'm not done reading it yet," Seungmin said starting to rub his palm along the cover of it.

"I know," Jeongin said scooting closer to Seungmin," We don't have to leave right now. I still have to do a couple things around the house, but how about after?"

Seungmin looked down at his book, and then back at jeongin,"I'd feel more comfortable if we set a time to leave. It's what's?" Seungmin looked over to his nightstand to see it was only 10:58 am,"it's almost 11. Wanna leave around 1 pm? Gives me enough time to finish my book, and get ready."

Seungmin watched as a grin began to overtake Jeongins face,"Sounds perfect hyung. Can I hang around you until I need to get ready?"

"Sure, just please be quiet so I can read," Seungmin said opening his book back up.

"Can do hyung. Can we cuddle while you read?"

Seungmin thought about it for a moment,"Sure, but don't get upset if I decide it's too much."

"Never hyung," Jeongin said rearranging them so that seungmin was sitting in front of him with his back on his chest.

 

*****

 

"You know you can leave at any time by the way," Chan said typing away at his computer.

"You can't push me away that easily," Changbin answered squeezing Chan tighter.

When Chan had invited Changbin to his room to help him with his paper, he didn't expect to have a small meltdown while doing said work. He was just so frustrated with the fucking boring ass topic of the paper, and the lack of sleep was getting to him. It all felt too much.

Of course, when Changbin came into the room, he immediately knew what state Chan was in. Chan was always embarrassed to have meltdowns in front of people, but with Changbin it was always different.

"Do you want pressure?" Changbin asked making sure to grab Chan's noise canceling headphones from his dresser.

"No it's, it's fine," Chan said starting to type harder on his computer.

"Chan hyung," Changbin said sitting down in front of Chan on his bed,"would you encourage Seungmin to ignore his needs when he is about to have a meltdown?" Changbin knows it's a little mean to do this to Chan, but he'll do what he can to make Chan listen to his body's needs.

With a huff, Chan shook his head.

"So I'll ask again, do you want pressure and your headphones?"

"No headphones, but I do want pressure," Chan said with his eyes tearing up.

"I got you hyung." Changbin quickly maneuvered behind Chan to squeeze him in a back hug, making sure his arms were wrapped securely around his chest.

"If you don't want to speak, just tap my arm once for tighter and twice for looser," Chan just grunted in understanding.

They sat there like that for hours, until eventually the paper was finally finished.

"3Racha lunch date commences now!" Chan said running over to Changbin's room.

Of course, Changbin wasn't gonna let him win this race, so he chased after Chan. However, they both couldn't beat Han who may or may not have been waiting for them on Changbin's bed for a while now.

"Food will be here in 10 minutes," Han said not looking up from his phone at the two boys panting at the door.

"How long have you been in here?" Changbin asked tackling the boy into the bed.

"GET OFF!" Han laughed failing to push Changbin off of him.

"Dog pile!" Chan yelled as he carefully laid on top of Changbin. Two loud groans were heard as Chan giggled.

Eventually, they all got off of each other as the food finally got delivered. Once the food made it to their room, they began to dig in and talk.

"So how was seducing Felix?" Changbin asked as he grabbed another slice of pizza.

"Amazing, got my ass clapped and my back broke," the sounds of choking interrupted Han's story.

"You would think with all the dick you suck you wouldn't choke so easily," Han said as Chan grabbed his drink to help himself stop choking.

"I'm sorry I forgot how vulgar you are."

"That's your fault," Changbin said putting his uneaten crust onto Hans plate.

"But anyway, it was exactly what I wanted and I can't wait to do it again."

"We never got to give you the morning blow jobs," Changbin said remembering their failed morning bj plan.

"Do not put your mouth full of pizza on my dick."

"What about after pizza?" Han said his eyes lifting up in arousal.

"We'll see," and maybe Changbin and Han started eating faster after that. Sue them.

 

******

 

The park was hot, and Seungmin was miserable. He wore his overall shorts and a light white tshirt, but it was still too hot. He put his sun screen on, but it still felt like his face was burning. He wishes he could wear his baseball cap, but unfortunately he recently found out he is allergic to his new shampoo so his scalp has been itchy all day. A hat would only make the itch worse, and seungmin can not deal with that.

Besides the heat literally killing him, it's been fun hanging out with Jeongin. Seungmin has to admit that his new book has upped his phone camera game, and he was able to get a bunch of great photos of Jeongin. He'll definitely have to thank Minho again when they get home, and show him the pictures he took.

"Innie," Seungmin said getting the youngest attention as he was posing by a tree," can we get one more round of photos then go home? It's too hot out."

"Sure thing hyung! Can we get the last couple photos of me over on the bench?"

Seungmin nodded and they made their way over. At first, seungmin got a few close ups of Jeongin on the bench. After 7 or so photos though, Seungmin wanted to get the whole scene in the photo. As he was walking backwards however, he accidentally bumped into a lady running off the track.

The woman ran straight into Seungmin's left shoulder causing him to fall to the ground onto his other shoulder. It also made him drop his phone, and he was praying the crunching noise he heard was his shoulder and not his phone.

"God!" The woman exclaimed,"Watch where you're going!"

"Me?!" Seungmin yelled sitting up and grabbing his now cracked phone," you're the one who ran into me!"

"Maybe if you weren't so glued into your damn phone you would've fucking seen me coming!"

Seungmin was livid. He was taking pictures on the fucking grass beside the concrete trail. There was no reason for this woman to run on the grass when the path is literally 2 inches over. He even checked to make sure there were no "keep off the grass" signs around. If anyone was in the wrong, it was her.

"Last time I checked," Seungmin said standing up in front of the woman," there's a concrete path right fucking over there," He pointed to the said path," for runners and bikers to bike and run on. It is not my fault that you can't seem to follow simple rules, and run on the designated path for you. And now thanks to you my phone is cracked all because you can't seem to act like an adult and follow the rules."

Seungmin watched as the woman's face turned red with rage. Before he could react the woman was reaching for him yelling, "You disrespectful little piece of shit."

The woman grabbed his overall straps and pulled him, but luckily before anything else could happen Jeongin pulled the woman to the ground.

"Just leave already before I call the cops for harassment because I just got you grabbing him on camera," maybe that was a lie but she didn't have to know that. Fortunately, that was enough to make the woman go about her business. However when Jeongin went to check on Seungmin, he was already running towards the bathroom.

"Oh no," Jeongin was hoping, praying even, that seungmin wasn't going to have a meltdown in the bathroom. Seungmin hates having them in public, and they tend to last longer if he has them in public.

Jeongin runs after Seungmin, but he couldn't beat the boy to the single use bathroom. He quickly pulled out his phone to check on the older.

His first four messages were left on read only worrying the younger more. Jeongin wanted to just give the older space, but he didn't know how seungmin was really feeling right now. If he was having a meltdown, he knew Seungmin would want someone in there with him to help him, but if he was just overwhelmed Jeongin invading the bathroom would push him towards a meltdown faster.

Finally, after voicing his own worries to seungmin, the older finally replied.

"I'm going to have a meltdown but I don't want to do it at the parks bathrooms but I can't let anyone see me rn Innie"

Jeongin had to think quickly. If being seen was the problem then maybe jeongin had the solution. Jeongin ran back to the bench and grabbed their bags. He knew he had a face mask and hat in his bag from last week, and thankfully Seungmin always carried an umbrella with him. He ran back as fast as he could and texted seungmin the supplies he had.

Seungmin rejected the hat, so Jeongin crudely threw it back in his bag. He then asked if he needed to come into the bathroom or just hand the items in. He released a breath he didn't know he was holding in when he got the text saying he could come in.

Fighting every urge in his body to throw open the door, Jeongin calmly knocked on the bathroom door asking if he could come in. The door unlocked in answer, and Jeongin went in.

Seungmin was curled up in the dirty corner of the room, his hands in his hair as tears ran down his face. He was taking short shakes breaths in, and with each exhale he let out a whimper. His whole body was shaking with the need to meltdown, but they both knew he couldn't do it here.

"Hyung," jeongin said slowly approaching seungmin,"I'm going to hand you the face mask, is that ok?" Jeongin wasn't expecting a response, so he just laid the face mask close to the older. Ever so slowly, Seungmin reached for the mask and put it on.

Jeongin then went to lay the umbrella down beside Seungmin as well when seungmin reached forward and grabbed his wrist.

"Outside," was all Seungmin said and jeongin knew immediately what he meant.

"Want me to hold you?" It was a risky question. Sometimes, touch overwhelmed Seungmin, and made him feel like fire ants were biting him. Other times he would crave the pressure of a bear hug. Seemed like it was one of those times because jeongin got a rapid head nod in response.

He quickly helped seungmin up, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He squeezed him as hard as he could for a few moments before ushering them both to the door. Once out, jeongin opened the umbrella, grabbed their bags, and started heading home. At one point, Seungmin stopped Jeongin to ask him for his headphones which Jeongin quickly got out. He put on Seungmin's stimming playlist, and handed the headphones to seungmin. It was nice to see how his mood changed from so stressed and overwhelmed to a sort of calm. Jeongin knew he wouldn't be completely relaxed until they got home, but this was enough for now.

Once they got home, Seungmin signaled for Jeongin to give him some space as he walked to his room. Jeongin assumed he was going to go have his meltdown in his room, so he decided to go to his room. He quickly texted the others that seungmin was in his room and wanted some space for a while. He didn't want to tell the others about his meltdown because that was his business to tell.

Once that was done, Jeongin changed out of his clothes into something more comfortable. He then made his way into the kitchen, and made himself some food. He also decided to make Seungmin some too, even if he doesn't eat it since he knows he hasn't eaten since breakfast which was hours ago. He also grabbed him a water bottle to rehydrate after being in the sun for so long.

You're a maknae Seungminnie

Innie: I left you some food and water outside your door for when you want it. If you don't that's fine too.

Seungminnie: thank you Innie

Innie: don't mention it

Seungminnie: could you come into my room? I want to be cuddled

Innie: say less

Notes:

Both Chan and Seungmin’s meltdowns are based off of my own experiences. Like these two things have actually happened to me and that’s how I reacted. Every autistic person experiences meltdowns differently so I am in no way saying this is how it is for every autistic person.

Chapter 9

Summary:

Quokka: what if we all quit our jobs, drop out of college, and go buy a cottage together and raise goats?

Chick: dropping out rn as we speak

Wolf: DO NOT

Stray Kids 🔥🔥🔥

Quokka: pls tell me someone is free rn
Quokka: pls guys I'm freaking out

Bunny: are you ok??

Ferret: what's happening rn?

Quokka: I thought the new edibles I got were 10 mg so I took one this morning just as a pick me up bc I woke up anxious as fuck but turns out they are not in fact 10 mg
Quokka: THEY ARE 110 MG
Quokka: TO GET BLASTED I ONLY NEED 50 SO THIS IS TAKING ME THE FUCK OUT
Quokka: I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS GREENED OUT IN MY LIFE
Quokka: AND I ALSO TOOK A FEW HITS OFF MY PEN THIS MORNING WHICH IS WHY I TOOK THE EDIBLE BC I THOUGHT TINY
Quokka: help me pls 😭😭

Wolf: oh my god Hannie wtf

Quokka: I'm fragile be nice to me

Chick: fuck I just left for class

Ferret: I'm in class rn

Wolf: changbin and I are in the studio so we can leave now and get there in like 20 minutes

Bunny: Innie and I are both on the clock rn

Quokka: 😭😭

Puppy: I'm grabbing all the water bottles from the fridge and all the snacks that'll fit in my bag then I'll come over to your apartment

Quokka: seungmin if I weren't fighting actual demons rn I'd kiss you

Puppy: I'm omw

 

3Racha get spotlight

CB97: if you need or want changbin or i to come over and take care of you let us know. We know how panicked you get when you're greened out

JOne: thank you hyung but Seungminnies got me

SpearB: is our puppy taking good care of our little weed goblin?

JOne: this is seungmin, I had to take Han's phone away from him because he's now convinced he's actually secretly a goblin and I don't want him to spiral into madness

CB97: fair, call us if you need anything

JOne: will do!

 

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

Quokka: what if we all quit our jobs, drop out of college, and go buy a cottage together and raise goats?

Chick: dropping out rn as we speak

Wolf: DO NOT

Ferret: too late 🤭

Fox: quit my job? Done.
Fox: I like goats

Chick: we could have a whole farm!
Chick: I want to raise chicks!

Bunny: as long as I don't have to deal with customers ever again I'm down for anything

Dwaekki: I want some piglets

Puppy: he's been planning this for like an hour
Puppy: he even drew what our goat farm/ cottage would look like

Wolf: are you still greened out Hannie?

Quokka: nah, the weeds hitting like normal now

Fox: this is how you act high normally?

Quokka: yes???

Dwaekki: he once made an entire map of a fantasy world once bc we got into an argument while stoned what the best defense in a fantasy army is best, gnomes or trolls

Wolf: Han's a creative type no matter what, weed just makes it chaotic

Ferret: and alcohol makes it sad

Chick: or eepy

Fox: very eepy

Puppy: me

Bunny: the fuck is eepy

Puppy: me obviously
Puppy: that's what I just said

Bunny: I'm taking the boat in the divorce

Puppy: I want the toaster oven

Bunny: over my fucking dead body

Chick: eepy means sleepy hyung

Quokka: so goat farm is a go or?

Fox: seems like everyone but Chan hyung is in agreement

Dwaekki: that's ok, hyung will stay here and work to provide for his 7 cottage core boyfriends ♥️

Ferret: Aw that's so sweet of you hyung!

Chick: we'll name a goat after you! 😘

Wolf: I-
Wolf: I-

Wolf has left the chat

Quokka: oh my good we broke him

Fox: I can't believe after all the bullshit we've put him trough, this is the point where he gives up

Puppy: weak

Ferret: guess I'll just have to go bully him with my love in person 😉

Bunny: I like the way you think hwang hyunjin

Dwaekki: we're still at the studio if you'd guys like to come by
Dwaekki: the lock is mysteriously unlocked rn for absolutely no reason

Chick: heading there right after class

Ferret: same

Bunny: once our shift is done I'll drive innie and me over

Puppy: Han and I are already on our way

Dwaekki: awesome!

Chapter 10

Summary:

Fox: now I'm the only one with admin rights 😈

Ferret: oh fuck

Stray kids🔥🔥🔥

*Fox has added Wolf to the group chat*

Fox: now I'm the only one with admin rights 😈

Ferret: oh fuck

* Fox has changed Wolf to OldMan™ *
*Fox has changed Bunny to SlightlyYoungerMan™*
*Fox has changed Dwaekki to BeefyMan™ *
*Fox has changed Ferret to LongMan™ *
*Fox has changed Quokka to BabyGirl™ *
*Fox has changed Chick to BrownieBoy™ *
*Fox has changed Puppy to GremlinMan™ *
*TheBestBoy™  has changed Fox to TheBestBoy™*

TheBestBoy™: alright I'm done goodnight everyone

BabyGirl™: I love it ♥️

BeefyMan™: wait I don't like mine
BeefyMan™: I want a cute one!

TheBestBoy™: maybe later

BeefyMan™: innieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
BeefyMan™: plssssssssssssss

BrownieBoy™: good to know this nickname will forever live on

GremlinMan™: now mine just isn't even that creative

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I am indifferent but also slightly impressed with mine

GremlinMan™: why are you impressed?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: he found a way to call me old without putting me on Channie hyungs level, it's impressive how I also don't want to strangle him for it

TheBestBoy™: talent recognizes talent

SlightlyYoungerMan™: atta boy!

OldMan™: sigh

LongMan™: why long and not tall?

TheBestBoy™: I like long better

LongMan™: fair ig

BeefyMan™: I still want mine changed!

TheBestBoy™: TOMORROW
TheBestBoy™: let these live for at least a day
TheBestBoy™: then tomorrow you can critique and criticize my hard work and effort to give you all immaculate chat names

BeefyMan™: is this that gaslighting thing Han keeps trying to do to me?

BabyGirl™: absolutely not

TheBestBoy™: I would never do that hyung

BeefyMan™: ......
BeefyMan™: @OldMan™  help

OldMan™: stop trying to gaslight Changbin

BeefyMan™: so they WERE gaslighting me?

OldMan™: I don't fucking know but whatever it is you guys are doing, stop. Let this old man rest in piece

GremlinMan™: AH
GremlinMan™: AHHA
GremlinMan™: SO YOU ADMIT YOURE OLD!?

OldMan™: I'm going to bed with Innie goodnight

TheBestBoy™: I'll allow it just this once

BrownieBoy™: Innie accepting cuddles without throwing a fit?

GremlinMan™: hyung is fucked

 

Sing Sang Sung Seung

Seung: hey are you feeling better today?

Sung: yeah I do. Thank you again for taking care of me yesterday. I really appreciated it

Seung: don't mention it.

Sung: are you ok tho? Jeongin texted us the other day when you guys got back from the park that you needed space, everything good now?

Seung: yeah, I almost had a meltdown at the park

Sung: shit, need to vent or anything?

Seung: it's ok, Innie helped me during and after

Sung: our maknae is all grown up 😭😭

Seung: I know right 😭

Sung: wanna come over to my room and play some video games and maybe place a bet on who's gonna win?

Seung: what's the stakes?

Sung: winner gets a blow job!

Seung: do you just want to suck me off?

Sung: what!? Noooooo?
Sung: I just want to play games with my sweet seungminnie
Sung: and when you inevitably win I want yo congratulate you
Sung: with my mouth
Sung: on your dick

Seung: you know you could just ask me if I want a blow job right?

Sung: where's the fun in that!? I wanna earn it!

Seung: fine fine, I'll be there in like 20 minutes. I gotta finish making flash cards for my chemistry class then I'll head over

Sung: I'll be waiting!

 

Stray kids🔥🔥🔥

OldMan™: who in here knew of innies plan to kill me via Dutch oven!?

BabyGirl™: WTF

LongMan™: hyung you're joking right?

BrownieBoy™: oh no

GremlinMan™: I think Innie needs to have my chat name instead of me

BeefyMan™: suddenly I'm ok with my chat name

SlightlyYoungerMan™: i am both disgusted and proud

TheBestBoy™: no one makes chat decisions without my complete agreement
TheBestBoy™: let this be a lesson to all of you

BeefyMan™: yes sir 🫡

BabyGirl™: OH MY GOD INNIE
BabyGirl™: I OWE YOU MY LIFE

GremlinMan™: ffs

TheBestBoy™: what happened? What did I do?

OldMan™: besides try to kill me?

TheBestBoy™: old news

BabyGirl™: I made a bet with Seungmin

LongMan™: those are dangerous

BabyGirl™: we were playing Mario kart and he was winning
BabyGirl™: but bc of all of us texting he got distracted and I WON!

BrownieBoy™: OMG WHAT DID YOU WIN

BabyGirl™: a blowjob!!

BeefyMan™: I expected something else, but honestly I  shouldnt have

GremlinMan™: I would like the record to show, Han only made the bet bc he initially wanted to give me a blow job but wanted to, and I quote, "earn it."

SlightlyYoungerMan™: sounds like someone's being a sore loser

GremlinMan™: I didn't say I wouldn't honor my word, I'm just stating what his words were originally.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: fair

TheBestBoy™: you're welcome Hannie hyung ♥️

BabyGirl™: alright text y'all later I have an amazing blowjob waiting for me!

OldMan™: no one here in this chat cares about my suffering

BrownieBoy™: I'll come and kiss you better hyung ♥️

OldMan™: I can always count on you my little pixie ♥️

Chapter 11

Summary:

OldMan™: also jisung you know we can't just up and leave everything to farm goats right?

BabyGirl™: and why not?

OldMan™: for starters, we don't own any goats

BrownieBoy™: he's got us there

Notes:

Short little chapter today ♥️

Stray kids🔥🔥🔥

BabyGirl™: guys my goat farm dreams might come true

LongMan™: how?

BabyGirl™: you guys know Sunwoo?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: the dude who slapped your ass in the name of friendship?

BabyGirl™: yeah him. He's friends with a lot of dudes in the architecture department of his college, and he said he could probably get one of them to like actually make blue prints of my weed scribbles of our future goat farm!

BrownieBoy™: MAKE SURE TO ADD AN AREA FOR CHICKS

BabyGirl™: already way ahead of you.
BabyGirl™: this thing is gonna be the biggest cottage mansion y'all have ever seen!

GremlinMan™: I love how dedicated you are to this goat farm

TheBestBoy™: isn't it every gay persons dream to just run away to a cottage and raise animals?

LongMan™: no comment

BrownieBoy™: no comment

BabyGirl™: don't worry I have lots of comments
BabyGirl™: first one being, why of course it is
BabyGirl™: second being, this isn't a dream anymore, I'm making it happen

BeefyMan™: with what money?

BabyGirl™: your money ♥️

SlightlyYoungerMan™: what he means to say is, our money ♥️ which happens to be mostly yours ♥️

GremlinMan™: what's yours is ours hyung ♥️

BeefyMan™: you guys only love me for my money

BrownieBoy™: and your muscles 🤤

BeefyMan™: so my muscles and money are my greatest attributes got it

OldMan™: we also love you because you're very caring, very loving, and a very talented person!

BeefyMan™: thank you Channie hyung ♥️

LongMan™: but the money is also nice

BabyGirl™: yeah mr. Has a chandler in his living room

BeefyMan™: you got me there

OldMan™: also jisung you know we can't just up and leave everything to farm goats right?

BabyGirl™: and why not?

OldMan™: for starters, we don't own any goats

BrownieBoy™: he's got us there

GremlinMan™: he doesn't actually. There are monthly/ bi monthly livestock auctions about an hour away from here, and they do sell goats as well as pigs, sheep, horses, cows, and yes chickens.
GremlinMan™: and even then with one google search I found like 6 people who are around 3o minutes-2 hours away from us all selling different farm animals.

BabyGirl™: seungminnie ♥️ my love

OldMan™: if you are actually serious about owning a farm one day, we need to start saving money now and we could potentially actually do this in like 10 years.

BabyGirl™: TEN YEARS!?!
BabyGirl™: BUT WHY NOT NOW

OldMan™: do you have all the money to pay for this

BrownieBoy™: Changbinnie hyung does ♥️

TheBestBoy™: and seungminnie hyung ♥️

GremlinMan™: -_-

BeefyMan™: what he said

OldMan™: you cannot use all of your boyfriends money to pay for your dream goat farm.

BabyGirl™: My sweet lovely beautiful Changbinnie hyung, can I please your wealth to make my goat farm dream come true?

BeefyMan™: Chan hyung is glaring at me.
BeefyMan™: I fear no matter what I answer I will be hated regardless
BeefyMan™: therefore I am turning my phone off and going to the gym
BeefyMan™: later guys!

BabyGirl™: lame-o
BabyGirl™: seungminnie 🥺

GremlinMan™: no ♥️

BabyGirl™: lame-o

OldMan™: maybe one day we’ll have the goat farm, but not today Hannie

BabyGirl™: fineeeee
BabyGirl™: guess I’ll just have to hyper-fixate on this and make multiple vision boards for it

OldMan™: have fun!

BabyGirl™: I will!

Chapter 12

Summary:

BabyGirl™: and my mom said dropping out would be a mistake
BabyGirl™: look at me now!
BabyGirl™: I'm a great excuse!

Stray kids🔥🔥🔥

BrownieBoy™: Hannie you got any weed?

BabyGirl™: obviously. How much you need and why?

BrownieBoy™: brownies.

BabyGirl™: meet me at my room

TheBestBoy™: oh is lixie hyung gonna make some to share with his lovely boyfriends? (Please say yes 🥺)

BrownieBoy™: duh you know I am.

LongMan™: did someone say edible night?

BeefyMan™: say less, I'm there

GremlinMan™: I'm in!

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I have work till 5 but I'm free after that

OldMan™: i have a tutoring session from 6-7:30.

BeefyMan™: damn is that tonight?

OldMan™: unfortunately. It wouldn't be so bad if the person im tutoring wasn't so disrespectful. Anytime I try to help her she just gets mad and says that she doesn't need it. Clearly she does if she's literally being tutored but whatever. I still get my 80 bucks and she can just fail the next math exam idc

BabyGirl™: I can feel the hate from here and im shivering

OldMan™: oh I don't hate her, I just wish she wouldn't waste my time ya know? I'm sacrificing my weeknights to help her. Sure she's paying me, but what's the point of that if she's not actually letting me tutor her?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: have you talked to your professor?

OldMan™: he didn't assign me to tutor her. She came up to me herself and asked if she gave me 80 bucks a session if I'd help her in her algebra class. At first she was sweet, but idk something either I said or something happened and now she just hates being there. And idk why she still asks me to help!? She obviously doesn't want it so why keep paying me and wasting my time? It's weird

BeefyMan™: why don't you just cancel?

BabyGirl™: yeah! Say one of us is sick and it's hella contagious and you don't want to infect her.

TheBestBoy™: yeah hyung didn't you know I've caught the bubonic plague? Might be unwise to tutor her tonight since we slept in the same bed last night.

BrownieBoy™: oh yeah and I have the flu and you definitely caught that since we were making out last night

GremlinMan™: oh shit hyung did I forget to mention I have strep? Damn slipped my mind. You probably shouldn't go anywhere with anyone tonight since we shared food and drinks last night lady and the tramp style.

BeefyMan™: omg hyung I forgot to tell you I have mono and we shared drinks and kisses last night. It's  be wise to stay home and heal

SlightlyYoungerMan™: oh no hyung, looks like after seeing my cats yesterday you caught cat scratch fever. Must have been from dori, oh dear

LongMan™: Channie hyung! I got the stomach flu and I'm pretty sure you might have it too. You're looking a little green hyung

BabyGirl™: use any of those excuses hyung ♥️

OldMan™: I love you guys 😂♥️

BrownieBoy™: love you too hyung!!

GremlinMan™: if you ever need an excuse not to do something then you've come to the right gentlemen plus lee know hyung

SlightlyYoungerMan™: hey I'm definitely a gentleman. Just not to you assholes

LongMan™: fair point

BabyGirl™: you did abandon me at the store once so

SlightlyYoungerMan™: man that was so last week, get over it already 🙄
SlightlyYoungerMan™: besides it was jeongin's fault

TheBestBoy™: of course blame the maknae

GremlinMan™: that's what I do

TheBestBoy™: 😮
TheBestBoy™: how could you?

GremlinMan™: very easily actually
GremlinMan™: despite what people may think, my autism does not make it hard for me to lie. In fact, because of my autism and my parents forcing me to basically mask my autism my entire life I would say I'm a better liar then all of you neurotypicals.

LongMan™: no I'd agree. You once had me convinced you were secretly growing giant gold fish under your bed when we were 13. I was really shocked when I went over to your house and there weren't any

BabyGirl™: omg he told me about that too but when we were 16!

GremlinMan™: it's funny what can I say?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: the more I learn about you Kim seungmin the more impressed I am

GremlinMan™: thank you hyung ♥️

TheBestBoy™: now y'all know why he has the name
GremlinMan™

BeefyMan™: oh there was no question about that.
BeefyMan™: my name on the other hand could be cuter.

TheBestBoy™: ok here you go

*TheBestBoy™ changed BeefyMan™ name to CuteBeefyMan™ *

 

TheBestBoy™: happy?

CuteBeefyMan™: I'll take what I can get
CuteBeefyMan™: thank you Innie ♥️

BrownieBoy™: anyway, I got the weed from Hannie. Edible party tonight at 6, Chan hyung pls cancel on that rude girl pls!

GremlinMan™: I will use puppy dog eyes on you all day if you don't

OldMan™: just texted her that one of my boyfriends got the flu and now we all have to get tested!

LongMan™: which one of us did you throw under the bus?

OldMan™: Han bc he dropped out of college so she can't fact check me.

BabyGirl™: and my mom said dropping out would be a mistake
BabyGirl™: look at me now!
BabyGirl™: I'm a great excuse!

SlightlyYoungerMan™: you know you make dropping out sound so great.

BabyGirl™: it is. I work, come home, love on my boyfriends, smoke weed, and I'm not in crippling debt! It's great!

TheBestBoy™: speaking of dropping out, after this first semester is over I'm dropping out.

GremlinMan™: dropping out and getting kicked out bc your grades are so low are not the same thing Innie

TheBestBoy™: apelslallqls SHUT UP

TheBestBoy™: either way! No more college.

LongMan™: you know, I have to give it to you, you really did try at least.

TheBestBoy™: yeah unfortunately being a bad student does carry on to college

OldMan™: I told you that like a million times????

TheBestBoy™: and why would I listen to you??

OldMan™: I-
OldMan™: I won't leave again
OldMan™: but I'm thinking about it

CuteBeefyMan™: hyung stop being dramatic and come to the store with me to go buy drinks and snacks for tonight

GremlinMan™: I WANNA GO

LongMan™: ME TOO

CuteBeefyMan™: we have room for one more anyone else?

BrownieBoy™: I have to bake

BabyGirl™: I have to watch him bake

TheBestBoy™: I have to steal the batter from lixie hyung when he's not looking and steal a spoon full

SlightlyYoungerMan™: working still, but grab me some pudding!

CuteBeefyMan™: got it! See you guys later!

Chapter 13: Getting Stoned Part 1

Summary:

Lixlix: hell yeah we are
Lixlix: let her know you and your 7 boyfriends are gonna get stoned and probably fuck later

"You know," Felix said spooning the brownie mix into the pan,"you could both help me make these instead of ogling my ass and spatula."

Jeongin and Han did not take their eyes off of either of the items, in fact they completely ignored Felix's words because they were both busy plotting. Han was trying to figure out the best time to get up out of his seat to go over and smack Felix's ass, and maybe distract him enough to get a quickie. Jeongin was waiting for the right time to grab the spatula.

Felix didn't seem like he was going to put it down anytime soon, so knowing his hyung, Jeongin was hoping Han would get impatient and go ahead to try and seduce Felix. Once then, he could successfully grab the spatula and run. Unfortunately for jeongin, Han was waiting for Felix to put the spatula down. Han was worried that if he did it while it was in the bakers hand, said baker would use it as a weapon and hit him. Plus, he really didn't want to either wash up or change clothes depending on where said hit landed.

"Useless," Felix said playfully with a small smile on his face," you both are totally useless."

Luckily, Felix was able to get the brownie mixture into the pan and into the oven with no problem. However, the minute the stove door was closed all hell broke loose. Before he could even turn around Han had pressed himself against Felix's back, and Felix could probably guess that meant Jeongin had made a mad dash for the spatula in the bowl Felix had yet to clean up.

"Insatiable," Felix said fondly," both of you."

"Only for you baby," Han said placing a soft kiss on Felix's neck.

"Only for your brownies," Jeongin said licking the spatula clean.

"Our maknae only likes me for my cooking," Felix said sadly turning both him and Han around to face said maknae.

"It's ok," Han said nuzzling his face into Felix's neck," I'll love you for the both of us." He immediately followed up his sentence with a bite to Felix's neck causing Felix to moan.

"No doing dirty stuff in the kitchen while food's cooking," Jeongin mentioned as he walked past the pair,"Minho hyung will get home soon, and he'll punish you guys in a very unsexy way if he catches you."

Luckily for the pair, Felix's phone pinged, making the two separate so Felix could answer it. As he picked up his phone, he noticed it was Hyunjin texting him.

 

Blondies have more fun ♥️
Jinjin: Hey, we wanted to ask you guys if there were any snacks you guys might particularly want.

Lixlix: this is Han, please get some cheesecake, I don't even care what kind.

Jinjin: Let me see

 

"Hey hyung," Hyunjin said gaining Chan's attention as he tried to get Seungmin to stop pestering Changbin to grab things from the top shelf of the isle that he couldn't reach,"Han wants cheesecake, doesn't matter what kind. Can we get one?"

"Uh," Chan looked down at their cart filled with different chip brands, sodas, snack cakes, and of course Minho's pudding,"depends on how much it is, but maybe."

 

Blondes do it better ♥️
Jinjin: Hyung said it depends on how much it is

Lixlix: Tell him I'll suck his dick if he gets it for me Lixlix: Honestly tell him I would do so many sinful things to him or whoever got me the cheesecake.

Jinjin: LMAO
Jinjin: I told Channie hyung what you said but we didn't know there was an old lady behind us and she called us harlots.
Jinjin:She also wanted me to let you know we are living a life of sin

Lixlix: hell yeah we are
Lixlix: let her know you and your 7 boyfriends are gonna get stoned and probably fuck later

Jinjin: if Chan hyung wasn't about to like actually die of embarrassment I 100% would

Lixlix: lame
Lixlix: Felix wants to know y'all's eta

Jinjin: maybe like 30 more minutes then we'll be home

Lixlix: awesome
Lixlix: gonna suck Felix's dick in the kitchen while we wait

Jinjin: have fun being murdered by Minho

Lixlix: worth it 🤤

 

“Now,” Han said putting Felix’s phone down on the counter with the ringer off,” where were we?”

“I think,” Felix said wrapping his arms around Han’s neck,” we were about to do this.” Felix leaned in and placed his lips onto Han’s. It didn’t take long for the two to begin deepening the kiss.

They were so lost in each other that they didn’t hear the front door open. Jeongin did however, as he was sitting in the living room, and he could go warn his hyungs, but where’s the fun in that?

As Minho walked into the house, he saw jeongin sitting on the couch with a mostly cleaned off spatula. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning,” Jeongin answered continuing to lick the spoon.

“Where’s the terrible two?”

“Making out in the kitchen I think?”

Minho raised an eyebrow at that. “Are the brownies down?”

Jeongin’s face lit up with mischief,”No, no they are not.”

Just as Jeongin expected, Minho let out a loud exasperated sigh. Minho walked into the kitchen only to see what Jeongin had told him except they were doing a bit more than making out. Their lips were locked, but Felix had a hand on Han’s ass and Han was running his hands on Felix’s sides underneath his shirt. Knowing exactly where this was heading, Minho walked over and pulled the two apart.

“No sex in the kitchen while foods cooking!” Minho said as he stood between the two.

“But we weren’t fucking!” Han whined.

“You were about to,” at that the two got silent.

“Now,” Minho said walking over to the oven,” you guys have 15 minutes to go fuck or whatever in your own rooms. Go.” As soon as the word go was uttered, Han and Felix raced over to Felix’s room.

“Perverts, all of you,” Jeongin said entering the kitchen to put the now cleaned off spatula in the sink.

“Oh don’t act like you and Changbin are not the reason we have that rule,” Minho said side eyeing Jeongin.

“Talk to my lawyer,” Jeongin said leaving the kitchen again.

“These better be potent,” Minho whispered the the oven as he made his way to the bathroom to shower before the edible party.

Notes:

I had no idea where this was going when I started writing this chapter so if you finished it you deserve a medal

Chapter 14: Edible party

Summary:

"I was attempting to play overcooked with Changbin hyung, but he gave up after 2 rounds."

"That game makes anyone mad," Changbin said defending himself,"you try playing some of the hardest levels when you've never even played before, and tell me you wouldn't also be making death threats."

Stray Kids 🔥🔥🔥

OldMan™: pls someone come help us get the groceries out the car

TheBestBoy™: I guess I'll have to since Minho hyung is taking a shower and I'm pretty sure jilix are fucking in one of their rooms

GremlinMan™: god I hope they're in one of their own rooms

TheBestBoy™: I didn't even think about that
TheBestBoy™: I'll be down in a minute I have to make sure my room is safe

GremlinMan™: make sure mine is too pls!

CuteBeefyMan™: make sure mines not

LongMan™: yeah make sure to tell us exactly who's room they're in

TheBestBoy™: -_-

OldMan™: HELP
OldMan™: PLS

TheBestBoy™: coming coming

SlightlyYoungerMan™: jilix are on their way to help

GremlinMan™: I thought you were showering?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I took a quick shower
SlightlyYoungerMan™: I was actually drying my hair when I heard Innie run to his room muttering"pls don't be fucking pls don't be fucking"

CuteBeefyMan™: are the brownies done?

BrownieBoy™: yes they are!

BabyGirl™: might be eating one as we text
BabyGirl™: who knows?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: go help your hyungs with groceries or else

BabyGirl™: don't threaten me with a good time

SlightlyYoungerMan™: trust me when I say it will not be a good time for you baby 😈

BabyGirl™: now I'm conflicted

BrownieBoy™: we are heading to help
BrownieBoy™: dw Channie hyung
BrownieBoy™: I can feel your stress from here

OldMan™: thank you

 

。・゜・・゜・。

 

With the snacks now laid out on the living room table, along with a New York style cheese cake and of course Minho's pudding, the boys all grabbed a brownie off of Felix's brownie pan.

"Ok so," Felix started before anyone could take a bite out of their brownie,"for our not so stoners I'd recommend only eating half, and if in an hour or two you still don't feel anything then take another. For the ones of us who get stoned on the daily," everyone looked over at han who had his hands raised in surrender," you can probably eat a whole one and be fine. Cheers!" With that, everyone started to eat their brownies.

"Should we watch something while we wait for them to kick in?" Hyunjin asked everyone in the room.

"Depends on what everyone wants to watch," Chan said already grabbing the remote.

"Omg, we should play Mario cart while we wait for it to hit," Han said excitedly.

"I'd have to go get my switch from the other apartment, but we should definitely do that," Felix replied already looking for his apartment key.

"Why is it not over here," Minho asked grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.

"I was attempting to play overcooked with Changbin hyung, but he gave up after 2 rounds."

"That game makes anyone mad," Changbin said defending himself,"you try playing some of the hardest levels when you've never even played before, and tell me you wouldn't also be making death threats."

"Anyone want to go over to the frat apartment with me?" Felix asked as he walked over to the door forgoing putting on his shoes since he was only doing up stairs then back.

"I need to change clothes," Chan said walking over to the door. Hyunjin followed after stating he also wanted to change into more comfier clothes.The other five left at the other apartment began to set up the switch they had up to the tv to play.

"Is this the switch that has Mario kart downloaded onto it or does this one need the physical game cartridge?" Minho asked out loud as he put the switch into the switch dock.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh," Changbin unhelpfully supplied.

"I think this one needs the game cartridge," Jeongin said checking to see if the game was still in the switch.

Thankfully, as the three reentered the apartment, the switch released the game stuck in it to reveal Mario kart. Felix ran into the leaving room to hand Minho the other switch. Once he had everything set up and gave everyone their controllers, the races began.

As the races continued, the atmosphere in the room grew more relaxed and joyful. The effects of the brownies were becoming evident, and laughter echoed through the apartment. Hyunjin, succumbing to the munchies, decided to raid the snacks laid out on the living room table in front of him. Finding it hard to eat and play the game at the same time, Hyunjin more so focused on eating then actually trying to play, landing his character in last place. Minho watched Hyunjin do so , laughing at his lack of attention or interest in the game.

Hyunjin wasn't the only one feeling the effects of the brownies."Guys, these brownies are hitting different," Seungmin exclaimed between laughter, watching as his character got hit by a green shell then slipping on a banana peel.

Han, who had been navigating the twisted and quite infuriating Rainbow Road map with intense focus, looked over and chuckled. "I told you, Seungminnie. Felix's brownies are no joke."

Felix, grinning, added, "Glad you guys are enjoying them. Just remember, pace yourselves, especially if you're not used to edibles."

Chan, who had been strategizing with Minho on how to avoid falling off the course, chimed in, "Speaking of first times, anyone up for karaoke later? We've got the whole night to ourselves, might as well make the most of it."

The idea was met with enthusiastic cheers, and plans for a karaoke night were set. The gaming continued, with occasional outbursts of laughter and friendly banter. The room was filled with the sound of controllers clicking, food munching, and the boys enjoying each other's company.

In the midst of the Mario Kart mayhem, Changbin began to whine about how hungry he was. Jeongin gestured wildly to the wide variety of snacks in front of Changbin.

"There's a sea of food hyung, pick something," jeongin said as his character threw a blue shell to stop Chan from winning.

"Here eat this ," Minho announced watching his character place 8th while giving Changbin a bag of chips.

"You're a hero," Changbin declared, taking a break from the game to eat his snack happily.

As the night unfolded, the boys continued their festivities, seamlessly transitioning from Mario Kart to karaoke. The living room turned into a makeshift stage, thanks to Hyunjin and Felix who decided they had to decorate the room with fairy lights, and the boys took turns singing, laughing, and dancing. The worries and stresses of the day melted away in the haze of Felix's weed brownies. The night continued with the boys enjoying each other's company, making memories that would undoubtedly be shared in the groupchat later.

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Summary:

CuteBeefyMan™: it's scary and also really attractive how much you know about us.

BrownieBoy™: Changbin hyung has a fear kink confirmed

CuteBeefyMan™: FELIX

OldMan™: Changbin can't multitask like that. He'd be too focused on being scare that he wouldn't be able to get it up.

Notes:

OldMan™: Chan
SlightlyYoungerMan™/ Tissue dealer:Minho
CuteBeefyMan™: Changbin
LongMan™/ Tissue eater: Hyunjin
BabyGirl™: Han
BrownieBoy™: Felix
GremlinMan™: Seungmin
TheBestBoy™: Jeongin

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

LongMan™: I swear to god if anyone posts the video of me high practically screaming Troye Sivan's Rush into the karaoke mic while crying I will sic Minho hyung on you

SlightlyYoungerMan™: and what makes me think I'd do anything you say?

 

Days since Hyunjin's eaten tissues: 5

Tissue eater: *sent image_641074*
Tissue eater: *sent video_362919*

Tissue dealer: .......

 

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥
LongMan™: I swear to god if anyone posts the video of me practically screaming Troye Sivan's Rush into the karaoke mic while crying I will sic Minho hyung on you

SlightlyYoungerMan™: and what makes me think I'd do anything you say?

TheBestBoy™: it's been quiet for more than 10 seconds, Hyunjin is doing something to Minho hyung

CuteBeefyMan™: what makes you say that?

GremlinMan™: Hyunjin would've had multiple responses ready to text to guilt trip Minho hyung into helping him
GremlinMan™: unless he had blackmail
GremlinMan™: in which case Hyunjin would text Minho hyung privately

CuteBeefyMan™: it's scary and also really attractive how much you know about us.

BrownieBoy™: Changbin hyung has a fear kink confirmed

CuteBeefyMan™: FELIX

OldMan™: Changbin can't multitask like that. He'd be too focused on being scare that he wouldn't be able to get it up.

CuteBeefyMan™: I-
CuteBeefyMan™: I-
CuteBeefyMan™: idk which one is worse at this point

BabyGirl™: well guess we need to experiment on hyungs supposed fear kink.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: if any of you post that video of Hyunjin I will personally make your life a living hell :)

GremlinMan™: so Hyunjin did have blackmail.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: no comment :)

BabyGirl™: Hyunjin what do I have to give to see the blackmail material?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I'll kill you

BabyGirl™: you don't scare me

LongMan™: everyone say goodbye to Han hyung!

CuteBeefyMan™: goodbye Hannie! We'll never replace you in 3Racha!

BrownieBoy™: I'll cherish the sexy nudes you sent me over the course of our relationship 🩷

TheBestBoy™: I'll avenge your death with an epic prank in your honor my prank partner 🫡

GremlinMan™: I'll make sure your goat farm dreams come true and name a goat after you in your honor

OldMan™: I'll make sure to delete your browser history and wipe your computer clean

BabyGirl™: Chan hyung you're a real one

TheBestBoy™: that should be minho hyungs punishment for murder, he has to be the one to go on Han hyungs computer to delete all the gross stuff

BabyGirl™: you accidentally share your porn collection on screen during a discord call once and no one ever lets you live it down

CuteBeefyMan™: it's just shocking you have it so organized.
CuteBeefyMan™: imagine if you had your life and or room organized that neatly

BabyGirl™: no comment

SlightlyYoungerMan™: don't think I've forgotten about what you and your little prank partner did to me Han Jisung

BabyGirl™: you're gonna have to explain I do a lot of things to you that also involve Jeongin

LongMan™: that is true, he's basically y'all's son

OldMan™: maybe let's not say one of your boyfriends is the son of two of us.
OldMan™: that implies weird things I don't like

LongMan™:noted
LongMan™: let me retry
LongMan™: he's like y'all's pet

OldMan™: I give up I am going to bed goodnight

BrownieBoy™: it's 4:30?????

OldMan™: good night.

GremlinMan™: if he weren't so scared of innie's chat power he might have just left

TheBestBoy™: you all should be scared of the power I hold
TheBestBoy™: also can we step back a sec to where Hyunjin hyung called me minsung's pet????

LongMan™: we'll Chan hyung didnt like when I said your their son so obviously pet

BrownieBoy™: if anyone here is into pet play and is a pet it's definitely Seungmin

GremlinMan™: (°_°)

LongMan™: oh no denial there seungminnie??

GremlinMan™: I'm going to go join Chan hyung in bed goodnight

SlightlyYoungerMan™: don't you dare we have plans in an hour.

GremlinMan™: I knowwwww, I just need an escape for this conversation
GremlinMan™: wait....
GremlinMan™: I NEED TO GET READY
GremlinMan™: LATER

LongMan™: awww Minho hyung does care about us?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: what do you mean? I just don't want my plans to get ruined

CuteBeefyMan™: whatever helps you sleep at night hyung

SlightlyYoungerMan™: the knife under my pillow helps just fine without your bullshit

BabyGirl™: I am begging you to get rid of it.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: no ♡

BrownieBoy™: can't lie, thinking about taking a nap now. Anyone wanna join me?

TheBestBoy™: I'm already in your bed.

BrownieBoy™: why are you in my bed???

TheBestBoy™: bc seungminnie hyung wouldn't let me in his

BrownieBoy™: not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth
BrownieBoy™: im coming to cuddle you innie 😈

LongMan™: Anyone wanna go get coffee together right now?

CuteBeefyMan™: me!

BabyGirl™: me!

LongMan™: meet me at the front of our apartment building in 10 minutes

CuteBeefyMan™: deal!

SlightlyYoungerMan™: later losers

Chapter 16: 16

Summary:

LongMan™: JEONGIN IS LOST IN WRAPPING PAPER

TheBestBoy™: Hyunjin hyung I'm fine! I'm at Han hyung's room!

LongMan™: oh
LongMan™: well on the bright side half of your room is free of wrapping paper!
LongMan™: are there dicks on it???

Notes:

Chan: OldMan™
Minho: SlightlyYoungerMan™
Changbin: CuteBeefyMan™
Hyunjin: LongMan™
Han: Lover/ BabyGirl™
Felix: BrownieBoy™
Seungmin: GremlinMan™
IN: hater/ TheBestBoy™

🚫No kissing allowed 🚫

Hater: Han hyung i think we're fucked

Lover: why do you say that?

Hater: well if your room looks like how mine does right now then well....

Lover: and how does yours look?

Hater: *sent image_382920*

Lover: (ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Lover: so that's where all the left over wrapping paper went....

Hater: no this is new wrapping paper
Hater: it's got little dicks all over it......

Lover: innie, I need a favor from you

Hater: I'm already at the other apartment heading to check your room.

Lover: thank you sweet innie ♥️

Hater: *sent image_639100*

Lover: of course mine also has dicks on them...
Lover: and knowing Minho hyung, everything is probably wrapped

Hater: omg you're right
Hater: checked your closet and all your clothes are wrapped.

Lover: you know what this means don't you?

Hater: he has a partner

Lover: that and we officially have ourselves a prank war 😈

Hater: we gotta find his alibi then we can recruit some of our boyfriends to our side before he gets to them and threatens them

Lover: I'll text Felix and Hyunjin. They'll either know who it is or also be nosy enough to find out.

Hater: I'll accuse Changbin hyung. If he did do it he'll admit to it if you pretend to cry

Lover: that leaves Chan hyung and seungmin

Hater: seungmin was probably his partner in crime ngl

Lover: that's what I was thinking
Lover: Chan hyung is too tired and too old for our shenanigans

Hater: alright, I'll text you back if I find anything.

Lover: same to you.

 

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

LongMan™: why is innies room covered in wrapping paper???
LongMan™: OMG JEONGIN DID YOU GET WRAPPED AS WELL!?!
LongMan™: WHERE ARE YOU!?!

OldMan™: what is happening?

LongMan™: JEONGIN IS LOST IN WRAPPING PAPER

TheBestBoy™: Hyunjin hyung I'm fine! I'm at Han hyung's room!

LongMan™: oh
LongMan™: well on the bright side half of your room is free of wrapping paper!
LongMan™: are there dicks on it???

SlightlyYoungerMan™: maybe

OldMan™: does this have to do with your little prank battle

BabyGirl™: oh it's a war now
BabyGirl™: and we're coming for you minho hyung

SlightlyYoungerMan™: bring it bitch

OldMan™: if you guys are doing another prank battle then I'm laying some ground rules right here right now
OldMan™: and the second one of them gets broken this ends immediately understood?

BabyGirl™: yes hyung

TheBestBoy™: understood hyung

OldMan™: Minho

SlightlyYoungerMan™: yes mom

OldMan™: -_-
OldMan™: anyway
OldMan™: absolutely no pulling pranks in common areas ie the bathrooms, living rooms, kitchens, and studios we have.
OldMan™: the pranks cannot be harmful or cause stains or involve animals
OldMan™: no pranking people when they are asleep and vulnerable
OldMan™: and finally, do not get other people involved in your crap. This does not leave us got it?
OldMan™: I don't want a repeat prank war of 2021
OldMan™: now you may prank away

LongMan™: can't lie, thought there would be more

SlightlyYoungerMan™: me too tbh

OldMan™: despite what you all believe, I am not a stick in the mud. However, you 3 especially like to push boundaries a lot so I have to set some.

BrownieBoy™: I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE A STICK IN THE MUD!

LongMan™: ME EITHER!

GremlinMan™: you aren't not fun hyung, you are just very responsible and we love and very much appreciate that about you.

BabyGirl™: Chan hyung you're hella fun, and hella smart. The rest of us are not however and I'm happy that you have the brain cells so we don't accidentally kill our selves

CuteBeefyMan™: speaking of fun, does anyone want to go to the gym with me?

TheBestBoy™: idk why chan hyung thinks he's no fun when Changbin hyung exists.

CuteBeefyMan™: HEY!

OldMan™: I'd be down to go to the gym. I just have to do one more assignment then I'm free. Are you trying to go right right now or....?

CuteBeefyMan™: whenever you want to leave we can.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: let me come too.

BabyGirl™: aw a hyung outing

GremlinMan™: when's the last time we did a '00 line date plus jeongin?

LongMan™: god it's been forever!

TheBestBoy™: monopoly rematch?

BabyGirl™: only if someone promises to watch Felix bc man is a cheater

BrownieBoy™: am not!

LongMan™: you had the money from the other monopoly board we have stashed in your hoodie pocket

BrownieBoy™: and if it wouldn't have fallen out of my pocket you guys would have never known 😔

OldMan™: one day we'll find a game Felix can't cheat at

BrownieBoy™: cheating is my most favorite game of all time, so good luck with that ♡

CuteBeefyMan™: that heart feels like a threat

BrownieBoy™: it is ♡

OldMan™: (°_°')
OldMan™: can we leave for the gym like right now for absolutely no particular reason....

BrownieBoy™: love you Channie hyung
╰(*'︶'*)╯♡

OldMan™: love you too Felix!

TheBestBoy™: sometimes i forget that lixie hyung is terrifying when he wants to be

BabyGirl™: is it safe to assume I'm the only one who got turned on by scary lix??

CuteBeefyMan™: nope

LongMan™: LMAO CHANGBIN HYUNG

CuteBeefyMan™: I won't be ashamed. Felix is hot when he's scary. What can I say

BabyGirl™: my man

OldMan™: do not get a boner before we go to the gym.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: unless you wanna do something about it before we go

BabyGirl™: if there's a hyung 3 some pls let me watch

SlightlyYoungerMan™: no ♡

LongMan™: hater

SlightlyYoungerMan™: for you, always ♡

CuteBeefyMan™: alright I got my gym bag, you two ready?

OldMan™: meet up in our apartment or downstairs?

CuteBeefyMan™: downstairs

OldMan™: heading down then

SlightlyYoungerMan™: me too

TheBestBoy™: monopoly??? Our apartment??? Now???

LongMan™: grabbing Han hyung then we'll be over

GremlinMan™: awesome

BrownieBoy™: see you guys soon!

Chapter 17: Happy late Valentine’s Day (Bonus Chapter)

Summary:

SlightlyYoungerMan™: i expect to have my Valentine's Day blow job from Hyunjin before the end of the day or else :)

BabyGirl™: when hyung uses ":)" I am always immediately filled with fear and anxiety

BrownieBoy™: I can fill you with something else if you want ;)

TheBestBoy™: Felix hyung is about to have one less boyfriend for Valentine's Day

Notes:

Do not stream “Like Magic” by JYP, Stray kids, nmixx, and itzy. Coca Cola funds the genocide of Palestinian people. Do not stream it at all. Let it flop. If you stream it you are complicit in genocide and if that’s the case do not read my works.

Stray Kids 🔥🔥🔥

BrownieBoy™: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY POOKIES
BrownieBoy™: 💖💖💖

CuteBeefyMan™: 🎀🎀🎀🥳🥳🥳🎀🎀🎀

OldMan™: happy valentine's day everyone!
OldMan™: don't forget we have plans at 7 instead of 6 tonight.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I'll still burn down your school for you to get out of your last class of the day seungminnie ♡

GremlinMan™: I appreciate your offer, but then we'd just have to meet over zoom and with our wifi, id rather die.

TheBestBoy™: I will never forget when we all had to quarantine and we tried to zoom call each other and it just did not work

OldMan™: we were on the same wifi I have no idea why my end of it was being so absolutely shit

TheBestBoy™: bad luck I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LongMan™: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO MY 7 BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL BOYFRIENDS WHOM I LOVE AND CHERISH DEARLY💖💘💝💕💞💓💗❤️🔥🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🤍🩶🤎

BrownieBoy™: happy Valentine's Day Hyunjinnie!

BabyGirl™: my Valentine's Day is better then all of yours

CuteBeefyMan™: how so 🤨

BabyGirl™: I got woken up with a blow job from my sweet boyfriend Hyunjin

LongMan™: I would've done that for all of you, but you all wake up before me 😭

OldMan™: it's the thought that counts?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: maybe to you
SlightlyYoungerMan™: i expect to have my Valentine's Day blow job from Hyunjin before the end of the day or else :)

BabyGirl™: when hyung uses ":)" I am always immediately filled with fear and anxiety

BrownieBoy™: I can fill you with something else if you want ;)

TheBestBoy™: Felix hyung is about to have one less boyfriend for Valentine's Day

BrownieBoy™: why do you hate me 😿

TheBestBoy™:...............
TheBestBoy™: 🩷- for Felix hyung only

BrownieBoy™: I'm making that my Lock Screen
BrownieBoy™: love you innie!! 💖💝💘💗💕💞💓💖💞💕💝💗💕

CuteBeefyMan™: Chan hyung, Han and I have to be at the studio in 20 minutes. If anyone wants to join us in the studio today please feel free to!

LongMan™: the cafe I work at is doing a Valentine's day special. It's either 20% one of our Valentine's Day drinks or 10% off of a chocolate covered strawberry order.
LongMan™: either way tho, I'm stealing some chocolate covered strawberries for us for tonight

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I taught you so well

GremlinMan™: omg, is Minho hyung actually proud of hyunjin!?! What in the Valentine's Day magic is happening?

LongMan™: love is in the air my dear seungminnie

TheBestBoy™: also, Minho hyung loves dismantling the system and sticking it to the man.

LongMan™: it's less like that and more like our boss is a fucking moron
LongMan™: he made us make like 500 or so chocolate covered strawberries for this week and we've sold maybe 100 of them.
LongMan™: after today we're just gonna throw them away.
LongMan™: we are a college campus cafe, if he thinks anyone at this school has money to splurge, they aren't gonna spend it on cheaply made chocolate covered strawberries
LongMan™: especially since they are like.... 25 bucks for 5 of them.

BabyGirl™: you could save money by just buying the stuff and do it yourself at that point.

LongMan™: that's what I said! That's also what Yeji and Dae-hwi told him but he doesn't listen to us.

CuteBeefyMan™: your boss sucks

LongMan™: I'm aware. It's ok tho, I love when his ideas fail and we can all be like "told you so"

GremlinMan™: I can't tell if your pettiness comes from the fact that you're gay™ or if it comes from the fact that you are a Pisces man.

LongMan™: why not both?

GremlinMan™: fair

OldMan™: anyway, see you guys at 7 tonight! I love you all so much!

BrownieBoy™: I LOVE YOU MORE!

BabyGirl™: NO I LOVE YOU MORE CHANNIE HYUNG!

CuteBeefyMan™: DONT LISTEN TO THEM CHANNIE IVE LOVED YOU THE MOST SINCE ALWAYS!!!

LongMan™: I LOVE WITH ALL OF CHANGBINS ASS!
Lm: I'd say my heart, but Changbin's ass is way bigger than any of our hearts.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: that's very true
SlightlyYoungerMan™: also love you too hyung

GremlinMan™: I love you equally as much as everyone else Channie hyung!

TheBestBoy™: love you the mostest Chan hyung 💗

OldMan™: I love Valentine's Day

 

The clock finally read 6:45 and Seungmin had never gotten out of that classroom so fast in his life before. He typically would take his time trying to get back home to his shared apartment, but Seungmin was excited to get back to his boyfriends to spend the holiday together.

Before he started dating his 7 wonderful boyfriends, Seungmin would have rolled his eyes at the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day. He would have told you it's nothing but a capitalist holiday that the corporations push to make money off of "romantic" love while also invalidating any other forms of love like platonic and such. However, that was before he had 7 boyfriends that loved him dearly for who he was. He still thinks it's a capitalist holiday, but he can't lie and say he wouldn't take any chance to show the men he loves how much me loves them.

Seungmin knew that everyone except for him, Minho, and Hyunjin were already at the apartment waiting for them to arrive. Seungmin had a late class till 6:45 while Hyunjin didn't get off of work at the campus cafe till 6. Minho didn't have any classes or jobs on campus, but he did volunteer to pick up both Hyunjin and Seungmin from their campus for Valentines.

As Seungmin exited the building, he scanned the parking lot looking for Minho's car. His eyes scanned the parking lot, finding Minho's car parked away from the other cars, the hood facing the road not the building. Seungmin smirked to himself knowing exactly why he was parked all the way over there. If he had to guess, Hyunjin was finally giving Minho the blow job he couldn't give him this morning.

Seungmin, quietly, ran over to the back of the car. He could only see the back of Minho's head, and no sign of Hyunjin. Excellent. With both of them distracted, seungmin crouched down hiding under the windows. He waddled his way over to Minho's window before slamming his open palms as hard as he could against the glass. The following yells were music to Seungmin's ears, he even fell over onto his side on the ground he was laughing so hard.

While on the ground, seungmin watched as a red faced Minho angrily opened his door, getting out as if he was about to fight someone. As soon as he saw seungmin on the ground uncontrollably laughing, Minho's anger simmered down to mild annoyance.

"Ah! Kim Seungmin!" Minho yelled as he grabbed Seungmin, pulling him to stand up. "What do you think you're doing!?"

Seungmin, through his giggles, answered,"Playing a little joke."

"Not funny!" Hyunjin said walking out from the passenger side of the car,"I almost choked to death!" Seungmin was back on the ground uncontrollably laughing again.

Minho couldn't stop the fond smile from forming on his face, and he really really tried to stop it. His boyfriends were just ridiculous. Lifting Seungmin back up, not letting him go this time, Minho put seungmin into the back seat before going back to the driver side. When he looked at his clock on the dash, it read 6:56. Rolling his eyes, he put the car in reverse, heading to the apartments.

"Just so you know," Minho said looking at seungmin in his rear view mirror,"I'll get you back for this Kim Seungmin."

"Bring it on Lee Minho," Seungmin taunted back crossing his arms and smirking at Minho.

 

Once they opened the door to the cuties apartment, they were greeted with the blinding sight of red and pink hearts everywhere. Balloons and streamers were taped up along the walls, and a big banner was hung up.

"Wow you guys went all out," Hyunjin said putting his shoes on the rack.

"Of course we did," Felix said walking over placing a kiss on each of their cheeks.

"I brought the chocolate covered strawberries from work," Hyunjin said pulling them out from his bag,"they might be melted but free food is free food."

"Thank you hyunjinnie," Chan said walking over kissing each one of them,"you're the best."

"Wait till you get your Valentine's Day blow job," Hyunjin winked at Chan walking into the dining room to place the strawberries on the table next to the other Valentine's Day themed foods. Chan blushed brightly, but he smiled widely following behind Hyunjin.

Minho grabbed Seungmin's hand leading him into the dining room. Walking in, he saw all of his boyfriends wearing heart headbands on their heads. Before he could ask about them, Han was putting one on his head while Changbin put one on Minho.
Han kissed his head before switching places with Changbin to do the same to Minho. Once swapped, Changbin placed a kiss on Seungmin’s cheek before grabbing a cookie off the table and sitting down.

Seungmin himself also grabbed one of the many heart shaped sweet treats from the table sitting down next to Jeongin. As he sat down, cookie in mouth, Jeongin leaned over placing a kiss on Seungmin’s cheek. As he pulled away, his face was bright red and everyone cooed at him.

As Seungmin finished his cookie and everyone sat down at the table, Seungmin got up walking around to kiss each one of his boyfriends on the head. As he did, the others began their own adventure to kiss everyone which soon devolved into them making a game of chase out of it. Soon the apartment was filled with the sound of laughter, screams, and the smacking of lips. All in all, a memorable Valentine’s Day indeed.

Notes:

Do not stream “Like Magic” by JYP, Stray kids, nmixx, and itzy. Coca Cola funds the genocide of Palestinian people. Do not stream it at all. Let it flop. If you stream it you are complicit in genocide and if that’s the case do not read my works.

Chapter 18

Summary:

"I thought you guys were playing monopoly," Chan said eyeing both Minho and Changbin. Uno never ended well in their shared house holds.

"Well we were then Felix found out that we were all cheating to make him lose, so he flipped the monopoly board over and grabbed uno instead. Uno is going as well as you think it is by the way," a crash soon erupted from Chan's phone.

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

OldMan™: do you guys want us to bring you guys some food on our way back?
Delivered 5:00pm

OldMan™: hello???
Delivered 5:10pm

 

"Maybe they're dead," Minho supplied unhelpfully as Chan checked the group chat again.

"Haha very funny," Chan responded barely paying attention to Minho or Changbin beside him.

"What if we just get like 2 buckets of chicken and maybe a couple sides and call it a day?" Changbin offered to Minho more so than Chan since Chan was still attempting to get a response from his younger boyfriends.

"Depends on the place we get it from," Minho said grabbing his gym bag off of the floor.

"What about the one by the house?" Changbin offered packing up his and Chan's stuff.

"Felix won't eat there," Chan supplied to the conversation as he was individually texting each one of his boyfriends asking if they were ok.

"Oh yeah," Minho said tying his shoe,"and I don't think seungmin will eat chicken from there either."

"How come?" Changbin asked bringing out his phone to also text his younger boyfriends.

"Felix swears up and down each time he eats there he gets sick afterwards, and seungmin won't eat there anymore since last time he did he accidentally ate a feather."

"How did he accidentally eat a feather?" Changbin asked as Chan paced around them.

"It must have been stuck to the leg piece or something and it got deep fried with it. I was hanging out with him when it happened. I felt so bad because you know how much he loves that place, but eating that feather ruined it for him."

"I feel like eating a feather from any place would immediately ruin it for me," Changbin said as Chan's phone started ringing.

"Hey sorry,"Chan started as he immediately answered the call,"I didn't mean to like spam you guys I just got worried when no one was answering."

"Put them on speaker," Changbin whispered to Chan.

Just as Chan did so, Hyunjin's voice rang out.

"Sorry about that hyung," a loud commotion was heard behind Hyunjin's voice,"this game of uno is getting....tense."

"I thought you guys were playing monopoly," Chan said eyeing both Minho and Changbin. Uno never ended well in their shared house holds.

"Well we were then Felix found out that we were all cheating to make him lose, so he flipped the monopoly board over and grabbed uno instead. Uno is going as well as you think it is by the way," a crash soon erupted from Chan's phone.

"We're going to get food," Minho said taking the phone away from Chan since he looked like he was close to fainting,"what do you guys want."

"I'll ask," Hyunjin then went quiet, presumably muting himself. Chan did the same.

Changbin spoke first,"I thought I hid the uno cards."

"Felix probably bought himself a pack," Chan said pinching the skin between his eyebrows sighing loudly.

"Ok so," Hyunjin's voice scared the 3 men there, causing Minho to almost drop the phone,"Han wants to know if instead of getting takeout, if we can have ramen night again."

Ramen night was nothing inherently special. With 8 college boys trying to pay for two separate apartments, originally the boys struggled. All of them were in college while 5 of them were also working at the time, so quality time and money were always an issue. Deciding one night that they had had enough of not being together for longer then 30 seconds, so the boys created ramen night. A night where they make their favorite cheap cup/packet ramen, and sit in the living room together watching bad movies all night.

"Yeah we can do that," Chan said grabbing his phone from Minho,"just text one of us what kind each one of you wants. We'll see you guys when we get home, love you guys." Hyunjin quickly agreed and said his goodbyes as Chan hung up the phone.

"God we haven't had ramen night since Han was still in college," Changbin reminisced out loud.

"It's been that long?" Minho questioned as the group chat flooded with different ramen preferences.

"Last one to the car has to pay," Chan said playfully.

Immediately, Minho shoved Changbin over as he ran towards the gyms exit. Chan was too busy laughing at Minho's antics to help Changbin up unfortunately. However, once Changbin was up, he did the same to Chan and ran.

"Children, all of you," Chan said out loud to no one as he stood up from the floor and also headed to the car.

 

At the apartment however, the 5 youngest were trying their best to clean up the mess they had made while playing monopoly and uno. Once Felix had flipped over the board for monopoly and the pieces went flying everywhere, the boys just sorta left it on the floor. Of course, when they played Uno they also made a mess. It's not a game of uno if the majority of the cards don't get thrown at someone else in a fit of rage.

"Has anyone seen the hotels?" Han asked as he crawled all over the floor trying to find all the little pieces that belonged to the monopoly set.

"I got 3 of them sitting on the table," Jeongin answered sweeping out from under the living room couch to see if any of the pieces ended up under there.

"We're missing 2 hotels, 1 house, a red property, 2 of the yellow properties, the top hat starter piece, and the car starter piece," Seungmin said as he and Hyunjin were going through the monopoly stuff they picked up. Meanwhile, Felix was picking up all of the thrown uno cards, a much easier task if you asked him.

"Why do we ever play board games if they always end up on the floor?" Jeongin muttered to himself as he gave up with the broom, and got down on the ground to dig under the sofa.

"Here Innie," Felix said putting the stacked uno cards onto the table, "let me help." Felix then, with the help of Han, proceeded to lift the couch up to check under. Thankfully, the 2 hotel pieces and the top hat were under there.

Soon, all five of them were lifting up furniture trying to find the last remaining missing pieces of the board game. With the help of Hyunjin and Seungmin, Han was able to find the missing red property and the house piece. Felix and Jeongin moved the recliner to find the remainder of the missing pieces. Once they were all returned to their rightful place in the box, Seungmin returned the board game to its rightful place on the board game shelf in the living room.

They had managed to finish cleaning just in time it seemed, since the minute seungmin returned to the others waiting in the dining room, the front door opened.

"Little help please?" Changbin yelled out into the apartment, hoping someone would come rescue him from carrying most of the bags.

"Do not help him he did this to himself," Minho said behind him only carrying a small bag containing the packet of ramen he bought for himself.

"You act like I'm not helping you," Chan mumbled to himself as he carried in the rest of the bags.

"Why did you guys get so much?" Seungmin asked not taking a bag from Changbin as he walked into the dining room to dump all the bags on the table.

"This guy," Changbin said pointing to Chan,"said we should also maybe get some other groceries we needed then that guy," he said pointing to Minho," decided to buy us enough groceries to last a year."

"And that guy," Minho said pointing to Changbin," wanted to be a big macho man and prove he could carry all the groceries."

"That's not what happened!" Changbin whined.

"Both of you chill," Chan said not being able to contain his giggles. He had been watching and listening to Minho and Changbin fake argue since the gym. This had to be one of his favorite free forms of entertainment. Chan then began to go through the bags taking out everyone's preferred ramen,"Now let's get ramen night started,"

Hyunjin made a move first, going into the kitchen grabbing the kettle to fill it with water. For the majority of them they would be using cup noodles, so this would be the easiest way to make theirs at the same time. For Seungmin, Chan, and Han however, they would be making it on the stove. Seungmin prefers it cooked this way, and Chan and Han like to make a big pot of ramen to share out of. It's something they always tend to do when one of them makes ramen, they always eat the ramen together.

As everyone got their ramen prepared, the kitchen was filled with laughter and banter. Chan had stepped slightly out of the kitchen just to watch all of his boyfriends huddled in the kitchen together with bright smiling faces. It made Chan's heart surge with adoration. He couldn't stop the fond look forming on his face even if he tried.

As he watched, Changbin turned his head, searching for Chan before locking eyes with him. Changbin gave Chan one of the softest most fondest smiles he could muster, his cheeks red with glee, as he lifted his hand reaching for Chan. Chan gravitated towards Changbin, grabbing his hand as Changbin pulled him in front of him, pulling Chan's back into his chest in a hug.

Surrounded by each other, happy and in love, is exactly how they were always going to be. Just the eight of them, forever and always.

Notes:

It’s my birthday 🎉 so enjoy a new chapter.

Chapter 19

Hey so my best friend I wrote this fic for is no longer my best friend so I’m going to delete this fic. I’ll delete it in a day or so so if you want to save it yall can. Anyway, thank you guys for reading and I hope your day is better than mine.

Chapter 20: 20

Summary:

BrownieBoy™: whose dick do I have to suck to get someone to write a paper for me?

CuteBeefyMan™: well good morning to you too

Notes:

Ok so I found out I can block people on ao3 (did not know that was a thing) so I blocked the person I wrote this for so he can’t read it anymore. I decided not to delete it since I actually like writing this and I’m not gonna let him take that away from me. Anyway, I hope all of you continue to enjoy this random mess. I love you guys ♥️

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

BrownieBoy™: whose dick do I have to suck to get someone to write a paper for me?

CuteBeefyMan™: well good morning to you too

BabyGirl™: what's it about?

BrownieBoy™: being a woman in the Industrial Revolution. It's due to tonight but I have dance practice till 6 and then a 2 hour long scheduled virtual meeting with my advisor and then I have to go to my friends house and feed his dogs which will take another hour and a half because his dogs are ridiculous and I just need some help

GremlinMan™: I can write the assignment for you

BrownieBoy™: seungmin I could literally cry rn thank you 😭

GremlinMan™: send me the rubric and such and I'll work on it when I leave my last class.

CuteBeefyMan™: do you want me to go with you to help feed the dogs if you want.

BrownieBoy™: please 😭

CuteBeefyMan™: text me when you're going and I'll meet up with you.

OldMan™: damn Felix you've got a lot on your plate today huh?

BrownieBoy™: you have no idea (¬_¬)

LongMan™: it's the week before spring break, it's like professors and such are trying to make us die of stress

GremlinMan™: just two more days of hell then we shall finally be free

BabyGirl™: lmao so happy I dropped out

TheBestBoy™: im about to be like Han hyung

OldMan™: that's somehow the scariest sentence I've ever read

BabyGirl™: HEY!

SlightlyYoungerMan™: can you blame him??

BabyGirl™: ...no😔

CuteBeefyMan™: I think I'm lucky I only have one midterm tomorrow then I'm done.

OldMan™: I've got one today, one tomorrow, then a rough draft of a paper due

GremlinMan™: I've got two midterms tomorrow then a speech to give.

LongMan™: I've got a midterm and then dance

SlightlyYoungerMan™: same

BrownieBoy™: y'all already know what today holds for me, but I've got a midterm today as well then one tomorrow and then dance till break.

LongMan™: why do we have to keep dancing till break? The last rehearsal only 6 of us will even be there.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I heard the teacher was going to make it extra credit since he's pissed people aren't coming the last day. It's still better to go just to get on his good side.

LongMan™: I'm already not on his good side what's the point?

GremlinMan™: why aren't you?

BrownieBoy™: Because Hyunjin once spilled a giant cup of coffee on him and himself.

BabyGirl™: I told you that drinking that much coffee was bad for you.

LongMan™: shut up

TheBestBoy™: how did you spill it on him?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: Hyunjin apparently went completely blind or completely stupid because he opened the door, the instructor was in front of it, and instead of moving out the way Hyunjin walked right into him.

OldMan™: oh Hyunjin

LongMan™: I was tired, that's what the coffee was for.

BrownieBoy™: the instructor should be thankful Hyunjin likes iced coffee, that's all I'm saying.

BabyGirl™: god, if it was hit your teacher would have killed you.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: oh he probably would have actually sued Hyunjin.

LongMan™: he made me clean the whole dance studio as punishment. It was miserable

OldMan™: at least it wasn't worse ig

GremlinMan™: speaking of coffee, I'm going to get some. Anyone want to join?

LongMan™: ME!

SlightlyYoungerMan™: me too.

BabyGirl™: I'd like to go on a coffee date!

GremlinMan™: I'm leaving now, last one to Minho hyungs car has to pay for all of us.

OldMan™: Han threw his phone and started running.
OldMan™: he's gonna be the last one once he realizes he needs his phone.

TheBestBoy™: lmao, let me come get it so I can make him owe me dinner.

OldMan™: I'm in my room if you want it.

BrownieBoy™: good to know our hyung is so responsible 😂

CuteBeefyMan™: I'm just mad I didn't think of innie's idea first.

TheBestBoy™: 😛

TheBestBoy™: do the rest of you guys want to come over and play Mario party?
TheBestBoy™: Chan hyung please bring the phone while I set up Mario party.

OldMan™: 🫡

CuteBeefyMan™: I'm making cup ramen, but once it's done I'll head that way.

BrownieBoy™: i have to go do things, but win for me innie!

LongMan™: INNIE MY PHONEEEEEEEEE
LongMan™: that was Han btw

TheBestBoy™: I can't ready anymore
TheBestBoy™: bye I have to go destroy my hyungs at Mario party

LongMan™: 😢

Chapter 21

Summary:

BrownieBoy™: off the record, I may have done some baking last night while completely high and managed to maybe accidentally spill all the salt and sugar when I accidentally ran into the counter....
BrownieBoy™: and I may or may not have just scooped all of it up with my hands and randomly filled both back up.....
BrownieBoy™:and seungmin may have watched me do all of it while he pointed and laughed at me

GremlinMan™: I wasn't pointing and laughing, I was recording and laughing.

Stray Kids 🔥🔥🔥

SlightlyYoungerMan™: you think you're so clever don't you Yang jeongin?

TheBestBoy™: yes I do always, but what specifically are we talking about here?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: did you seriously switch the salt and sugar? That's child's play

TheBestBoy™: aur?
TheBestBoy™: that wasn't me

BabyGirl™: Minho hyung what do you think we are? amateurs?

LongMan™: is Chan hyung finally joining in on the pranks?

CuteBeefyMan™: nah, we pulled another all nighter at the studio. We're just now getting home.

GremlinMan™: I think Felix and I can explain that one....

BrownieBoy™: off the record, I may have done some baking last night while completely high and managed to maybe accidentally spill all the salt and sugar when I accidentally ran into the counter....
BrownieBoy™: and I may or may not have just scooped all of it up with my hands and randomly filled both back up.....
BrownieBoy™:and seungmin may have watched me do all of it while he pointed and laughed at me

GremlinMan™: I wasn't pointing and laughing, I was recording and laughing.

OldMan™: Felix you ok?

BrownieBoy™: I'm ok! Just embarrassed!

GremlinMan™: if it makes you feel any better you looked really cute doing it

BrownieBoy™: I take my sympathy in kisses 😽

GremlinMan™: omw

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I should be mad, but at least you tried to clean it up and not just leave it on the floor for someone else to clean.

BabyGirl™: cannot relate

LongMan™: we're aware 🙄

BabyGirl™: I'm baby, sue me

OldMan™: do we need to pick up some more salt and sugar before we head home?

LongMan™: no, you guys get home to rest. I'll go out and get it

BabyGirl™: wait- backtrack
BabyGirl™: Felix what did you even make last night?

BrownieBoy™: I was trying to make cookies but they were not good so I threw them away

GremlinMan™: they did come out suspiciously flat and... bubbly...

TheBestBoy™: oh damn

BabyGirl™: sounds like you made a homunculus

LongMan™: no way you just unlocked that memory for me omgggg

CuteBeefyMan™: homunculus?

OldMan™: A homunculus is a form of artificially created life. The thing Hyunjin is talking about is a Russian guy who "made" one by injecting sperm inside an egg and grew it that way.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: what?

BrownieBoy™: it wasn't real, but it was really cool to watch.

TheBestBoy™: wait it wasn't real?

GremlinMan™: did you think it was?

TheBestBoy™: no comment

BabyGirl™: don't worry innie, I also heavily believed it was real until like 3 years ago.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: I need to watch this immediately pls send the link 🤲

GremlinMan™: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLneC76OgQbbilzeqh7HvpBpqvN_b8nNhi&si=fdECXQdkH816szTl

SlightlyYoungerMan™: thank you.

OldMan™: I feel like I have to clarify that none of you should try what he's doing.

LongMan™: there go my weekend plans.

OldMan™: we can barely afford to feed the 8 of us, do not make another mouth to feed.

TheBestBoy™: what if we make one that doesn't have a mouth?

BrownieBoy™: or one that feasts on dust?

BabyGirl™: or one that eats trash?

SlightlyYoungerMan™: Felix can't even make edible cookies while high, and we're supposed to believe you guys can create life?

GremlinMan™: that's a valid point.

LongMan™: nobody thinks what we think 😔

BrownieBoy™: ain't no one gonna match my freak? 🥺

BabyGirl™: I will forever and always match your freak twin ♡

BrownieBoy™: thank you my beloved 😽

CuteBeefyMan™: Chan hyung and I are home and heading to bed, chan hyung asks if you decided to not heed his warning to not do it then please at least go it while he's awake so he can supervise the stupidity.

LongMan™: deal

GremlinMan™: Chan hyung couldn't type that himself?

CuteBeefyMan™: he's falling asleep on my shoulder as we speak, so not really

SlightlyYoungerMan™: fair. Need some help carrying in the baby?

CuteBeefyMan™: Chan hyungs about to get a piggyback ride in and he doesn't even know it yet.

BrownieBoy™: brb, I need to go downstairs and take pictures of Changbin hyung giving Chan a piggyback ride.

BabyGirl™: I also need to for blackmail purposes.

LongMan™: I love blackmail! Let me join!

GremlinMan™: none of you have a good camera so I'm joining as well so there will be some actual good photos.

SlightlyYoungerMan™: well I don't want to be left out so count me in

TheBestBoy™: me too!

CuteBeefyMan™: you guys are all ridiculous...

Notes:

If any of you have a better title for this besides cheesy garlic bread, please tell me 🙏 the title was an inside joke with my ex best friend and now I can’t stand it ♡

Chapter 22: 22

Summary:

A dumb little chapter for you guys to enjoy. I’ve been working on a lot of other stories that I low-key forgot about this one 😅 BUT I’m writing more chapters for it soon. Hope you guys enjoy!

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

CuteBeefyMan™: alright whoever put shaving cream in my shoes, I hope you get lice

LongMan™: do NOT wish that on any of us.

GremlinMan™: if one of us gets lice we're all gonna get it

CuteBeefyMan™: I take back my threat
CuteBeefyMan™: I hope your pillow is hot, and your music gets on your nerves today

BabyGirl™: I'd rather you just shoot me

TheBestBoy™: shaving cream in shoes? What is this amateur hour?

OldMan™: wtf
OldMan™: why did you also get my shoes?
OldMan™: I'm neutral

BrownieBoy™: I got excited with the shaving cream, sue me.

GremlinMan™: Felix did you fill everyone's shoes?

BrownieBoy™: .....
BrownieBoy™: and if I did?

BabyGirl™: 🤦

SlightlyYoungerMan™: how much shaving cream did you even buy?

BrownieBoy™: all of it?

OldMan™: oml
OldMan™: Felix, please go clean out our shoes.

BrownieBoy™: fineeeee

 

🚫No hyungs allowed🚫

Chick: guys it wasn't actually me who did it so which one of you did?

Quokka: not me. Too much work. You know how many shoes we have?

Puppy: jeongin?

Fox: as if I would ruin my shoes on purpose.

Ferret: maybe Lee know hyung did it.

Quokka: not possible. We were fucking all night and also this morning.

Puppy: slut.

Quokka: proudly 🫡

Chick: Changbin hyung?

Fox: there's no way he would prank himself.

Ferret: so who did it????

Puppy: chan hyung?

Quokka: he would rather die than participate with us. You know he's anti prank war.

Fox: how come you said you did it tho felix hyung?

Chick: I thought Lee know hyung did it low-key and I knew if I lied and said I did it he would confess instead.

Quokka: you evil genius.

Puppy: I'll help you clean the shoes then since you actually didn't do it.

Ferret: I'll help too!!!

Chick: aww thank you 😘 kisses for both of you.

Quokka: I will also work for kisses!!!

Chick: innie?

Fox: I'm helping but only bc I have the most shoes to clean.

Chick: I'm giving you the fattest juiciest kiss

Ferret: lucky 😔

 

The Council of Elders

 

Vice chairman: I don't think Felix did that prank.

Secretary: obviously. I thought Han was the culprit

Chairman: I thought so too, but I heard how loud he and Lee know were last night. There's no way he had to energy to fill all the shoes.

Vice chairman: what can I say? We're lovers sue me.

Secretary: did Hyunjin do it?

Vice chairman: neither him of jeongin would sacrifice their own shoes. And I know the sound of the spray cans bothers seungmin so he wouldn't have done it either.

Chairman: huh... I wonder who did it then

Secretary: it was a lame prank anyway.

Vice chairman: nah whoever did it did well for getting all of the shoes so we can't signal out who did it. But none of us are that smart.

Secretary: hey I'm smart!

Vice chairman: yeah a smart ass.

Secretary: Chan hyung yell at him!

Chairman: calm down you are both smart.

Secretary: my pride is wounded 😔
Secretary: I need....
Secretary: kisses.
Secretary: or I'll die 🪦

Vice chairman: 🙄
Vice chairman: where are you?

Secretary: !!!
Secretary: my room!!

Vice chairman: I'll be there. Maybe to give kisses, maybe to bite you. we'll see.

Chairman: oh you're so getting bit.

 

Stray kids 🔥🔥🔥

 

TheBestBoy™: what was that scream?

OldMan™: I'm guessing Changbin just got bit by minho.

GremlinMan™: how do you know that?

OldMan™: you don't want to know.

CuteBeefyMan™: I just wanted kisses! Is that so much to ask for 😭😭

SlightlyYoungerMan™: stop crying I only bit your nipples.

CuteBeefyMan™: they are sensitive!

BabyGirl™: I VOLUNTEER TO KISS EM BETTER!

CuteBeefyMan™: 😳

BrownieBoy™: orgy in Changbin's room!

CuteBeefyMan™: huh!?

LongMan™: like that doesnt make you excited.

CuteBeefyMan™: no comment.
CuteBeefyMan™: but for no reason whos all coming to my room??

BrownieBoy™: me!

BabyGirl™: me!

LongMan™: me!

OldMan™: why not? me too.

SlightlyYoungerMan™ : I'm already here.

TheBestBoy™: seungmin hyung and I are going to get coffee yall have fun.

BabyGirl™: bring me back a croissant please!

GremlinMan™: maybe!
GremlinMan™: have fun with the orgy!