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There was a weight on Lan Wangji’s stomach. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just unfamiliar. What time was it? It must be five if Lan Wangji just awakened. He was a man of schedule.
So, opening his eyes to find an unknown man half naked and laying on top of Lan Wangji was a bit of a surprise.
This was not on the schedule.
Lan Wangji’s eyes widened and he pushed himself as far and as quickly as he could away from the man, falling to the floor with a loud thud. The bed was not high, but the force Lan Wangji just used to throw himself off the bed did not make a graceful impact.
“Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji stiffened at the sound from the man above him. Who had just called him so familiarly. Who was looking at him sleepily, but very sweetly.
Who was this man? Why was he in Lan Wangji’s bed?
And why was he the most beautiful man he’s ever seen?
Before he could even open his mouth to ask any questions, the man sat up straighter, rubbed his eyes, and burst into laughter.
It was...such a nice sound. It was loud, and Lan Wangji usually did not enjoy loud things, but his laugh…
“Lan Zhan!” the man said through his laughs, wiping his eyes. “What are you doing?”
“I…” Lan Wangji began, not knowing how to begin at all. “A moment, please.”
Alright. Lan Wangji just needed to calm down and think. He was in his Jingshi. There was a gorgeous man who he didn’t know in his bed. Wearing his white inner robes. Was he dreaming?
The man had called him by his given name. He knew him? He must.
Did Lan Wangji get drunk last night? He doesn’t drink, but he can’t think of anything else that could have happened that would lead him to go to bed with a man who he did not know.
Did they do more than just sleep? The man’s hair was a mess. Or maybe that was just his bed hair. But, they were both in their undergarments.
Lan Wangji was not a fan of touching people. Even ridiculously gorgeous people. And yet, here was this man. Who he assumed he met last night. In his bed. In his home.
Lan Wangji tried to piece together what could have happened to lead to this. Lan Wangji must have either let this man in himself, or he must have a jade token, which can only be given by him or his Brother. So...did Lan Wangji know this man?
Looking up, Lan Wangji found the man staring at him. No, not staring. Gazing.
The man was lying on his side, his chest exposed by the open robes. He was leaning his cheek on his hand, and looking at Lan Wangji so sweetly, a tired smile on his face, that it made Lan Wangji’s heart speed. He was being so quiet, so patient. Lan Wangji had asked him for a moment, hadn’t he?
And the man had simply...given him that?
Why?
Lan Wangji blinked. He was still on the floor, so he sat up straighter on his knees, and then bowed his forehead against the floor.
“Apologies. I was startled. I do not remember what happened last night.”
There. This would be the best start to this awkward situation. If he could get some information out of this mystery man, then he could begin to right any grievances he may have caused last night.
Another laugh. Why did that laugh make him feel so warm?
“Lan Zhan! What are you doing? Sit up!”
Lan Wangji did as he was asked. He looked at the man, who had swung his legs over the side of the bed now.
“Lan Zhan, did you hit your head?” he asked as he...cupped Lan Wangji’s cheeks in his hands, gently turning his head from side to side. Lan Wangji was so surprised at this man touching him so intimately that he didn’t even move away or voice any protest.
His hands were warm, and it just felt… right.
Ridiculous.
The stranger was still smiling, but his eyes scanned Lan Wangji’s face, like he was searching for any signs of discomfort.
“I do not believe so,” Lan Wangji said finally, as the man dropped his hands from his face, which he hoped didn’t look as hot as he felt.
He really didn’t feel any physical pain. Just a little thrown by this situation.
“Hm. Okay, good. You said you don’t remember what happened last night? What do you mean?” he asked.
“Just that,” Lan Wangji said. “I have no memory of what happened.” He hoped he wasn’t being rude. He didn’t want to hurt this man’s feelings. For some reason.
“That’s...weird,” he started. “Okay, well, after our little scare from our Night Hunt, we came home and went to bed. Well, after getting you checked out, of course.” The man scrunched his face. “You don’t remember that?”
Our Night Hunt. Home.
What?
This man. They go on Night Hunts together? And did he just call the Cloud Recesses his home? The Jingshi?
Something was not right. Lan Wangji was forgetting...something. Something important. Something to do with the man in front of him now.
Who had begun to look very worried.
“Lan Zhan...are you okay?” he asked, slowly dropping to the floor in front of him. He looked flushed and worried and so beautiful. Lan Wangji wanted to kiss him.
...Wait... What?
“Lan Zhan,” the man said, bringing Lan Wangji’s attention away from his shameless thoughts. “How much do you not remember from last night? Do you remember your fight with the Yao?”
“I...do not remember anything from last night,” Lan Wangji said, leaning away slightly. The man was very close to him.
“Okay...what is the last thing you remember?” he asked quickly. He was staring so hard at Lan Wangji. He was so close. His robes still open slightly.
Lan Wangji felt his face warm again.
“I…” Lan Wangji took a deep breath, trying to steel himself. “I remember…”
What did he remember? A Yao? Last night, he had fought a…
Yes. Last night he had fought a Yao. A Fox Spirit was reported killing and eating humans in a little village off the outskirts of Gusu. Lan Wangji had fought it and...
“I remember the Yao…”
“You do?” the man asked. “Okay, good. What else?”
It had spoke to him.
They took from me. So I took from them.
It is not different.
There are worse things. I’m starting to fade. I’m starting to forget.
May you suffer as I have. May you forget.
Lan Wangji’s head pounded. He groaned.
“Lan Zhan!”
He felt a warmth on his shoulders. It was unfamiliar and yet, familiar.
Lan Wangji didn’t like others touching him. Hated it. And yet this man keeps touching him so easily.
“Lan Zhan?” the man repeated. Why did he keep saying his name like that?
Lan Wangji looked up at the man who was scanning his face, looking so worried. His hands around Lan Wangji’s shoulders tightened.
He didn’t hate it. He didn’t hate it at all.
“I’m fine,” Lan Wangji said, clearing his throat. “The Yao spoke to me, when we fought.”
He nodded. “Yeah. You said that last night, although you couldn’t remember exactly what it said before it escaped. I found you stumbling around the forest. But, we didn’t find anything wrong with you.”
“You were there?”
Lan Wangji almost wished he could take back those words.
It was obvious the man had been there. It was obvious Lan Wangji knew this man. He was in his bed. They seemed to live together. They go on Night Hunts together. He called the Jingshi his home. He called Lan Wangji by his birth name. Of course this man knew Lan Wangji.
But, Lan Wangji couldn’t remember him.
That did not stop Lan Wangji’s chest from hurting when the look of shock, confusion, and pain shot through the man in front of him so suddenly that he gasped. The man dropped his hands from Lan Wangji’s shoulders and leaned back.
They were quiet. Staring. Lan Wangji didn’t know what to do, or say. Luckily, the man began to speak.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked slowly. The man’s jaw was clenched tight and his head held high, like he was readying himself for whatever answer he would receive.
Lan Wangji swallowed. He wanted to lie. He did not want to hurt this man. Lan Wangji knew he must care for him. He felt that, at least.
“I...I apologize. I do not remember.”
A little shaky breath escaped the man in front of him, who had dropped his gaze, as well as his head. He was clenching his hands and looking like he was trying not to cry.
It was such a contrast from how this man was only five minutes ago. And it was Lan Wangji’s fault. “I’m sorry,” Lan Wangji tried again after several quiet moments.
The man’s head popped up and he blinked. Then he put his hands in front of him and shook them rapidly. “No! No need! It’s not your fault, Lan—” He cleared his throat. “ Hanguang-Jun.”
Lan Wangji’s chest hurt again.
The man pulled his robes tightly against himself, tying them so his chest was no longer exposed, and he sat up straighter. His entire demeanor shifted. And Lan Wangji didn’t like it.
“Hanguang-Jun, do you know where you are?” the man asked, absentmindedly running his hands through his bed hair. Lan Wangji wanted to run his own hands through his hair.
“I am—” Lan Wangji took a deep breath. “We are in the Jingshi.”
He nodded. “Okay. So you know who you are?”
Lan Wangji nodded.
“And Zewu-Jun?”
“Yes. My Brother,” Lan Wangji said.
“...Sizhui?”
Lan Wangji smiled. “Yes. My son.”
The man smiled too, though it seemed a little pained. “Just me then, huh?”
Lan Wangji’s smile fell. He felt incredibly bad. Like he had wronged the man in front of him. Like forgetting him was a sin.
“I apol—”
“Nope!” the man interrupted. “No need for sorry between us!” he said with a little smile, a little brighter than before.
“Mn.”
The man laughed nervously. “We should get you to your Brother. He’s still in seclusion, but this is important.”
“Because of Jin Guangyao.” Lan Wangji said it as an afterthought.
“Ye-Yes. La...Hanguang-Jun, do you remember everything with him and Nie Mingjue?”
Lan Wangji thought about it for a moment, then nodded.
“And the Sunshot Campaign?” he asked. Again, Lan Wangji nodded. But, something felt off about his memories.
“Do you know how we...won the Sunshot Campaign?”
Lan Wangji tried to remember. But, again, there was this weird feeling.
“I...I do not...I do not know—”
“That’s okay!” the man said quickly. “Don’t force yourself.” Then, much more quietly, he mumbled, “It really is just me then…”
He looked so upset, so miserable. Lan Wangji hated it. He wanted to hold him in his arms. To call his name. His name...
“What is your name?” he blurted before he could stop himself.
The man looked at him with wide eyes, then laughed. He still looked upset, but he was smiling now.
“Sorry, Hanguang-Jun! You must be so confused. My name is Wei Wuxian.”
“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Wangji repeated. That was right, and yet, it felt...wrong.
“Uh huh. And I’m your…” Wei Wuxian glanced nervously from him to the floor.
Lan Wangji waited. Excitement he didn’t understand building in his chest. Who was he?
Wei Wuxian cleared his throat and sighed. “I’m your husband.”
Husband.
That...made sense. They lived together. Slept together. His husband. How? Why? This man was so beautiful. Wei Wuxian loved him? Lan Wangji? Or was this an arranged marriage? Did they love each other at all?
“Hanguang-Jun?”
Lan Wangji looked up at his husband. Wei Wuxian had a slight frown on his face. He barely met his eyes. He was upset.
“Do you want me to go?” Wei Wuxian asked softly. Barely above a whisper.
“No,” Lan Wangji replied immediately.
Lan Wangji may not remember marrying this man, but he had. And the way Wei Wuxian is looking at him now. The way he was smiling shyly and sweetly. The way it made Lan Wangji’s heart clench.
This was not a political match. He knew that much. Lan Wangji had married this man because he wanted to.
He may not remember him. But, he knew he cared for him very much.
Wei Wuxian laughed nervously again. He stood up on slightly shaky legs, and Lan Wangji followed after.
“We should get dressed,” Wei Wuxian cleared his throat. “Then we can go see your brother.”
They dressed quickly, and as Wei Wuxian made his way to the door, Lan Wangji spoke.
“Wei Wuxian.”
He turned around. A small smile on his face. His head cocked to the side. He wore black and red robes, so different from the soft blues and whites of Gusu. But, it suited him. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail with a red ribbon. There was a slight flush on his face, either from sleeping or from the terrible morning he was sure this man had.
But, gods, he was beautiful.
“Yeah?”
“Wei Wuxian. Your courtesy name?” Lan Wangji asked.
Wei Wuxian blinked, then laughed. It did not sound as nervous. “Yup! Given name, Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying.
“Wei Ying.”
That. That feels right.
Wei Wuxian sucked in a breath. Lan Wangji faltered. “I will not call you that, if it makes you uncomfortable,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Wuxian smiled. “Not at all.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, grateful. “Then, you will call me Lan Zhan?”
Wei Ying blinked. “Is that okay?” he asked.
Lan Wangji nodded, and Wei Ying grinned.
“Okay. Let’s go, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji smiled. He felt...odd. Annoyed at the tugging in the back of his mind, trying to place Wei Ying somewhere. But, he also felt warm and comfortable in his presence. That smile.
He really liked it.
Feeling bold, Lan Wangji took his husband’s hand in his, and led the way out of the Jingshi and towards Lan Xichen.
He didn’t miss the way Wei Ying blushed and tried to hide that smile.
“A curse?” his brother asked.
The three sat at the low table in the middle of the room of Lan Xichen’s chambers. Tea had been served, and Lan Wangji sipped quietly and let Wei Ying recount the events of last night and this morning, since Lan Wangji doesn’t remember much.
“Yeah. There was a Fox Spirit that was reported killing villagers, so we went after it. Lan Zhan fought it, but it did something to him,” Wei Ying said. He hadn’t touched his tea. “The healers said nothing was wrong, but, obviously that’s not the case,” he finished with a sigh.
“Hm. Wangji, are you in any pain?”
“No. I had a slight headache this morning, but that is it,” he replied.
“And the only thing you don’t remember is Master Wei? Nothing at all?” Lan Xichen asked.
Lan Wangji glanced over at Wei Ying, who was staring down into his teacup with a frown.
“...Nothing from before this morning.”
“He remembers everything else though,” Wei Ying added. “Everything that happened before. The Sunshot Campaign. Just...not that I was there, too.”
Lan Xichen gave them both a concerned look before speaking again. “That is quite odd. A Zhan, you truly remember nothing about him? What about Nightless City?”
Lan Wangji blinked as Wei Ying stiffened. “I…”
There was so much blood. Screaming. He was looking for someone. Had to protect them. Who?
That weird feeling was back. He was trying to remember. To picture Wei Ying there, but he couldn’t. A heavy, fuzzy, static was in his mind, making it impossible to think clearly.
“I do not know,” Lan Wangji said.
“Wangji, do you remember your scars?”
He heard Wei Ying breath in sharply. Lan Wangji nodded slowly, and his brother continued.
“Do you know why you have them?”
His scars. He knew they were there. Felt them on his back. A phantom pain that may never truly go away. He remembered receiving them. Years ago. They were a punishment. For...something. It was important. He made a choice, and Lan Wangji did not regret it. If he could go back, he would make the same choice. He would protect…
Protect Wei Ying? Is that why?
Lan Wangji’s head was pounding again.
“I do not know,” he repeated with a huff. This was so frustrating.
“Zewu-Jun? Lan Zhan’s head is hurting,” Wei Ying said. Lan Wangji looked over at him, and he was staring right back, a slight frown and a creased forehead.
Lan Wangji knew that look...didn’t he?
“I am fine,” Lan Wangji said, and Wei Ying pursed his lips and shot him with what could only be described as a glare.
Lan Wangji smiled. “I am fine, Wei Ying,” he repeated.
Wei Ying sighed and shook his head. “Whatever you say, Lan Zhan.”
His heart felt light and heavy at the same time.
“A Zhan. This Yao you fought. What exactly happened? Can you remember?” Lan Xichen asked after a moment.
Lan Wangji tore his eyes away from Wei Ying. “It spoke to me. It was upset.”
“He said that last night, too,” Wei Ying added.
“Did you hear anything?” Lan Xichen asked Wei Ying, who shook his head.
“I was in the village when I heard the fighting in the forest. When I reached Lan Zhan, the Yao was already gone.”
“Hm. Odd. What did it say?” his brother asked him.
The fuzzy feeling was back. This was truly annoying. “I cannot remember. I apologize.”
Wei Ying huffed beside him. “It’s not your fault, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn.” He couldn’t help the small smile settling on his lips.
“This is very strange, indeed,” his brother said with a small nod. “And your spiritual energy?”
“Nothing is amiss,” Lan Wangji stated. He already checked before entering Lan Xichen’s room, and his core is as strong as ever.
Lan Xichen gave a small smile. “That’s good.”
“What do you think it is?” Wei Ying asked, his fingers tapping against his cup of tea that he still hasn’t touched.
“I’ve never heard of anything like it. Memory loss is a pretty common curse, but completely wiping one person and them alone from someone’s memory is not.”
Wei Ying's shoulders slumped. He looked so incredibly sad that Lan Wangji had no idea what to do. Lan Wangji opened his mouth to try to offer some form of reassurance, but wasn’t sure what he could say. As annoying and hard as this was on Lan Wangji, it has to be even worse for Wei Ying. He was the one who had been forgotten by his own husband. A marriage was a promise. And Lan Wangji felt he had betrayed that promise.
He looked to Lan Xichen for help, and his brother spoke for him. “But, if it is a curse, then it can be broken. We just have to figure out how.”
Wei Ying looked up and sighed lightly. He gave a short nod, and sat up straighter with a new look of determination on his face.
“Right,” he said and turned to Lan Wangji with a bright smile.
And he couldn’t do anything but return it.
After saying their goodbyes to Lan Xichen, who promised to do some digging on his own part, the two spent the rest of the morning in the Library Pavilion, going through book after book of ancient texts on curses involving memory loss. There were certain spells and curses that could be cast by human hands, or some formed from a demon or spirit, although unfortunately, there was less information on those spells. Which was—
“So annoying!”
Wei Ying was practically draped across a desk scattered with opened texts, groaning dramatically. Lan Wangji would think that maybe in his youth he would find this man’s dramatics intolerable, but now he felt a fondness that was unfamiliar to him.
Lan Wangji also felt relief. It had only been a few hours since they had left his brother’s room, but Wei Ying seemed to be much more relaxed and comfortable around Lan Wangji. Not as stiff as he was this morning. Much more himself, he guessed.
And Lan Wangji found that he very much liked him, dramatic antics included.
With one more exasperated sigh, Wei Ying sat up from the desk and slammed a book down. “Why is there so much information on casted spells by humans, but so little on spirits or Yao? I’m not trying to cast a curse here, I’m trying to break it!”
“Mn. It is...frustrating,” Lan Wangji agreed.
Wei Ying sighed again and worried at his lower lip. Lan Wangji came over from where he was sitting and sat down beside him, closing the book he was holding. They had been at this for hours and were no closer to finding any solution.
Wei Ying gave him a small smile. “Sorry, Lan Zhan. I know you’re the one that is cursed here.”
Yet, Wei Ying is the one who is suffering.
“No need to apologize. Shall we take a break?”
“Yes, please!” he said, stretching his hands above his head and cracking his back.
“Lunch?” Lan Wangji asked. In the chaos of their morning, they had skipped breakfast.
“Oh,” Wei Ying said. He had a weird look on his face. A little sad, a little worried.
“What’s wrong?” Lan Wangji asked.
He was quiet for only a moment before he said, “We promised A Yu…Sizhui...that we would have lunch with him yesterday.”
Oh. That is a problem. Wei Ying, Lan Xichen, and himself had agreed that before they figured out more about Lan Wangji’s curse, they should refrain from telling others in Cloud Recesses. Mostly to stop the spread of panic.
But Sizhui was not just anyone. He was his son. And he did not want to lie to him.
“What do you think we should do?” Lan Wangji asked Wei Ying. As much as he wanted to tell him the truth, he would like another opinion. And Wei Ying seemed to have many.
“We should tell him, if that’s okay with you. He’s a smart one. He would know something is wrong. And I don’t like keeping him in the dark.”
Lan Wangji couldn’t agree more. “You know him well.”
Wei Ying was his husband, and Sizhui was his son in everything but blood. Of course they must know one another well.
Wei Ying looked at him with a small sad smile. “Yeah.”
Sizhui was taken to Cloud Recesses and adopted by Lan Wangji many years ago. Lan Wangji remembers finding him in the carnage of blood, fire, and Resentful Energy at the Burial Mounds. But, he didn’t go there for him. He went for someone else.
Why was Lan Wangji at the Burial Mounds at all? He had...he had been there before. He spent some time there. With Sizhui. With…
A sharp pain crashed into his mind and his head throbbed. He barely flinched, but Wei Ying was looking at him.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying grabbed his face, and although he was frantic, he held him softly and with so much care, slowly rubbing Lan Wangji’s temple with his fingertips.
That fondness was back and in full force.
Lan Wangji allowed Wei Ying to touch him like that for another moment, enjoying having the man so close. Then, he put his hands over Wei Yings, which were still on his face.
“I am fine, Wei Ying.”
Dropping his hands slowly from his face, he remained holding both of Lan Wangji’s hands in his, their fingers entwined. He was silent for a few more moments, just staring at their hands.
“Wei Ying?”
“Lan Zhan, maybe you should spend some time with Sizhui on your own.”
Lan Wangji blinked. “Why?” he asked.
Wei Ying sighed, and looked up at him with a soft smile. “You were just thinking about him, right? And that led to thinking about when he was younger, and how you came to adopt him?”
Lan Wangji nodded.
“And then you got hurt again, because of me.”
“No,” Lan Wangji said. It was just a small headache, and it was not Wei Ying’s fault.
He huffed out a laugh. “Yes, Lan Zhan. I know it’s not my fault, but you are in pain when you try to remember anything to do with me.”
Lan Wangji shook his head. “No.”
He laughed again, a smile on his face that didn’t seem forced. “Aiya, Lan Zhan. So stubborn.”
Lan Wangji gave Wei Ying’s hand a firm squeeze.
“I just think it’ll be less overwhelming for you if you talk to him alone. Just tell him that something happened on the Night Hunt and you lost some core memories. You don’t even have to tell him that they are only of me!”
Lan Wangji didn’t think it would be less overwhelming at all.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said firmly. “You just said that you do not want to lie to him.”
Wei Ying released a shaky breath. “I know. I just...you’re in pain. I don’t know what to do.”
Lan Wangji squeezed his hand again, until Wei Ying looked him in the eyes. “I do not know what to do either. But, we should do it together.”
“...Are you sure, Lan Zhan? I just don’t want to burden you.”
“Wei Ying is no burden,” he said. “You are my husband.”
Wei Ying blinked at him, his face becoming slightly flushed. He smiled. “Okay.”
Cute. His husband was very cute.
“Wei Ying?”
“Hm?”
“How long have we been married?” It didn’t really matter, but he wanted to know.
“Oh. Well, technically, about three years now. But, apparently, according to you, we’ve been married since we were kids. And you didn’t even tell me!”
That was...interesting. “I did not tell you?” The only thing Lan Wangji could think of was…
“Yeah, we got pulled into this underground cave and I was getting attacked and…” Wei Ying snorted. “Anyways, you put your ribbon around both our wrists to protect me.”
His ribbon resting on his own forehead. Lan Wangji willingly put it around another person’s wrist. Before they were even married. And they were only children.
He must have loved Wei Ying very much.
“Lan Zhan? You okay?” He locked eyes with Wei Ying, who looked quite nervous for some reason. “Did I upset you?” he asked.
Lan Wangji could imagine falling for this man, even as young as they must have been. “Do you know why I didn’t tell you? Were our feelings not mutual?”
It made sense. Why else would he have kept it to himself? Why else would they have only been officially married for three years now.
“No, they were!” Wei Ying almost shouted. “It’s just...well. We didn’t know how we felt. About each other. We were both—”
“Fools.”
Wei Ying laughed. “That we were.”
Wei Ying was smiling, and Lan Wangji couldn’t help the ping of anger coursing through him. He has known this man since they were children. They had a life together, a marriage. They loved one another. And all of that was taken from Lan Wangji in one night. And he didn’t know how to fix it.
A warm hand held his face gently, and Lan Wangji released unknown tension in his clenched jaw.
“Lan Zhan. It’s okay.”
“It is not,” he argued, but his anger had subsided quickly. It solved nothing and would not make the situation any better.
Wei Ying laughed lightly. “It will be. We’re okay, right? We’re always okay.”
Lan Wangji sighed and nodded.
His husband smiled and cocked his head to the side. “Lunch?”
Lan Wangji nodded once more.
“Good. Let’s go see our son.”
Our son.
Yes. Lan Wangji believed they would be okay.
Lan Sizhui was the pinnacle of the good, well mannered boy he knew him to be during lunch. He could tell his... their son, had questions, but kept it to himself. His eyes narrowed and his lips were pursed, like Wei Ying does when he is upset, but he remained silent until they both explained the situation, sipping his tea and nibbling on his vegetable dumplings.
Lan Wangji, however, did not miss the way that as both him and Wei Ying recounted the past morning, and what had happened last night, Sizhui’s gaze flickered to Wei Ying more often than not. Whether it was Lan Wangji or Wei Ying that was speaking, Sizhui’s attention seemed to be on Wei Ying, his face full of concentration, and concern.
Finally, when they were finished speaking, Sizhui cleared his throat, placing his tea down at the table. “That is unusual,” he said with furrowed brows, just like his Uncle. “You’re unhurt?”
“Only when he doesn’t try to remember me,” Wei Ying answered for him. Sizhui glanced at him again, then back to Lan Wangji, who nodded.
Sizhui nodded himself, sitting up. “I will begin my research—” he began, only to be dragged back down to a sitting position from a laughing Wei Ying.
“Aiya, just sit and finish your tea, A Yuan,” Wei Ying began. “We’ve been looking through texts all morning and have already found absolutely nothing,” he finished, sighing dramatically.
Sizhui scoffed. He does not do that often. Lan Wangji thinks it must be Wei Ying’s influence. He finds himself hiding a smile behind his own cup of tea.
“Then we should check the other clan’s resources. I’ll write to Jin Ling immediately. And Master Wei, you write to Lotus Pier!”
“Oh, I don’t know about that, A Yuan,” Wei Ying said, looking a little helpless.
“You said that you’ve both been writing to each other,” Sizhui stated.
“Yeah, but, a few letters every other month is different than... this,” he said, gesturing vaguely. “Jiang Cheng would not be happy to help.”
Jiang Wayin. How does Wei Ying know him? He was about to ask, when Wei Ying looked at him with a small smile. “My brother,” he said with a shrug.
Clan Leader Jiang is Wei Ying’s brother. Lan Wangji was not a fan of that man. He remembered that they used to butt heads all the time, but he doesn’t remember why.
“Why would your brother not wish to help us?” You. Why would Wei Ying’s brother not help Wei Ying?
There was a faroff, cloudy look in his eyes. “It’s...complicated. We’ve been through a lot, Lan Zhan. We’ve hurt each other. We’re trying but...it’s hard.”
He was becoming upset, and that was the last thing Lan Wangji wanted, so he simply nodded. Wei Ying smiled, like he knew he was letting this go for him.
“I still think you should write,” Sizhui said with a pout. Wei Ying laughed and pinched his cheek. Lan Wangji felt warmth flood in him.
“We should head back to the village,” Lan Wangji said to Sizhui. He turned to Wei Ying. “Maybe we can find something useful.”
“Ah, Lan Zhan, so smart,” he said with a cheeky grin, patting his leg quickly. Lan Wangji felt his face go warm. “We were planning on returning today after some rest anyways, to finish off the Spirit, so this works perfectly.”
“May I come?” Sizhui asked.
“Yeah!” Wei Ying said at the same time Lan Wangji said, “Of course.”
Wei Ying continued, “You know you’re always welcome to join us.”
Sizhui smiled, followed by a quiet thank you.
“A family trip,” Wei Ying commented, smiling brightly at Lan Wangji, who, for the life of him, could not look away.
Lan Wangji sighed quietly as he made his way back to the small teahouse that the three agreed to meet at after they split up for questioning. The village was not very big, but it was quite busy. And loud. He did not wish to spend the rest of their day here, although it was already getting quite late.
It took a little longer to get here on foot than by sword, but Wei Ying insisted the weather was so nice for a walk, so they walked.
The people Lan Wangji questioned were unhelpful. So unhelpful, in fact, that he found it...odd.
They were polite, and yet...something felt off. Like they were omitting information.
When he asked if anyone experienced any memory loss from the Yao, they would say no, and Lan Wangji believed them. But, when he asked about anything else pertaining to the Fox Spirit, like when did it begin their attack, or why, he got vague answers.
And guilty looks.
The innkeeper had dropped her eyes when he asked when the attacks came. She told him a month ago, which checked out. When he asked her if she knew why the Fox Spirit had attacked, she claimed it was unprovoked. But she would not meet his gaze.
She was lying.
Lan Wangji had seen plenty of villages from varying sizes throughout his years spent Night Hunting, but this particular place felt wrong. It was beautiful here. Lush greenery and flowers. The soil looked healthy and the sun shone bright. Venders selling bright and fresh fruit and vegetables. But, it felt… false.
There was a heavy atmosphere that felt eerily familiar to the time he spent in Yi City. Something was very wrong here, as was there. Although, his mind filled with haze as he tried to remember.
Wei Ying must have been there.
He spotted Wei Ying and Lan Sizhui sitting across from one another at a little low table at the outdoor eating area of the busy teahouse. The sight of his son and his...husband made him relax instantly. Though their topic of conversation did make him pause in his step.
“Stop worrying. I said I was fine,” Wei Ying said, taking a large sip from his drink. Lan Wangji did not think it was tea.
“That’s exactly what’s worrying me,” Sizhui began. “You always say you’re fine.”
“Maybe because I’m always fine?” he said with a teasing grin.
“I don’t think that’s true,” Sizhui said softly, looking into his teacup. His son sounded so upset that Lan Wangji took a step forward instinctively, to comfort him.
Wei Ying beat him to it.
Stretching himself over the table, Wei Ying put his palm softly on the top of Sizhui’s head, who met his eyes instantly at the touch.
“You’re right, A Yuan,” Wei Ying said, stroking his hair ever so gently. “This is...hard for me. But, Lan Zhan and I…” he trailed off, then moved his hand to Sizhui’s cheek to give it a small pinch. “Lan Zhan and I have been through a lot. This is just something else to add to the list. I promise we will be okay.”
“...And what if he never gets his memories of you back?” Sizhui asked quietly.
Wei Ying was silent for a moment, thinking. Then, he smiled.
“Then, we will still be okay.”
Lan Zhan took a deep, quiet breath.
The emotions he felt for this man who he knows almost nothing about was almost too much. How can Lan Wangji feel so much for this man when he can’t even remember their life together? How did he even stand it before?
Was this what being in love felt like?
Lan Wangji never thought he would feel this. He has felt love, and in many different forms. The love he felt for his mother and uncle, his brother, and now his son was something he knew he couldn’t live without. But, this sort of feeling?
This was new.
Well, Lan Wangji supposed that it wasn’t.
He sighed deeply. Enough standing around. Eavesdropping was beneath him, especially on his own family.
Lan Wangji made his footsteps a little louder than necessary as he walked into view. Sizhui wiped his face quickly, his eyes a tad red, but Lan Wangji chose to ignore it. To give his son this small amount of privacy as a silent apology for listening in on his conversation moments ago.
Wei Ying brightened as Lan Wangji nodded his head to him, taking a seat down beside him.
“Lan Zhan! I missed you!” he said, all smiles.
“Mn. I missed you,” Lan Wangji replied.
Wei Ying seemed genuinely taken aback for a moment, before a huge grin found its way back to his face. He laughed, pushing a cup towards him and pouring him some tea like it was the simplest thing in the world. It made Lan Wangji’s heart speed. “How did it go on your end?”
“Not well. The people I spoke to do not seem willing to give anything useful.”
“Same for us,” Wei Ying said, tapping his chin. “It seems like this village is omitting information. Something fishy is going on here.”
Sizhui nodded. Lan Wangji couldn’t agree more.
“They are just as unhelpful as yesterday…” Wei Ying added.
“We questioned them yesterday?” Lan Zhan asked.
Wei Ying nodded. “Got about the same reception. That’s when you went off to the forest to look for clues. I tried some more digging here, but didn’t find anything useful before I heard your fight break out.”
“Fox Spirits aren’t usually the aggressive type,” Sizhui added.
“It is unusual. Fox Spirits don’t usually attack unprovoked. Or eat people. They are supposed to bring prosperity and good fortune,” Wei Ying said. “This is all very...weird.”
“It may not have been unprovoked,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Ying nodded, and placed his hand on top of Lan Zhan’s, patting it once before saying, “There’s something this village is trying to keep covered. We should find out.” He sounded playful, and mischievous. And a little excited.
Lan Wangji was trying to remain calm, and pretend that his heart wasn’t beating so loudly from just a single touch of the hand from Wei Ying.
“I played a round of checkers with a young boy in exchange for some information,” Sizhui said about an hour later.
They had split up again, trying new methods to provoke the village into spilling some secrets. Wei Ying and Lan Wangji had stayed together this time, though, his husband complaining about spending so much of the day apart. Lan Wangji pretended to be inconvenienced for a sliver of a second to see Wei Ying pout before agreeing to stay together, like it wasn’t something Lan Wangji hoped for.
The two hadn’t found out much more, but they did find out that a few months ago, this particular village was completely rundown. The ground was dead. It wouldn’t grow anything. The inn never had customers, the tea houses always empty. Shops and vendors had nothing to sell and no one to sell it to. A sharp contrast from how it is now.
“A Yuan! I like your tactics. I’m so proud of you,” Wei Ying said with a grin. Sizhui flushed lightly at the praise, no doubt in Lan Wangji’s mind where he had learned such a trick. “And what did you find out?” Wei Ying asked.
“Apparently, the Fox Spirit wasn’t alone. At least, not at first. There were two spotted on the outskirts of the village months ago.”
“Two?” Lan Wangji said, getting a nod from his son.
“The boy said the two Yaos seemed to always be together, and that he liked them. He never approached them, but they made him feel calm. Safe.”
Sizhui paused, and Wei Ying placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze. “And then?” he asked.
“And then,” Sizhui continued. “Then, the boy spoke of a young man, Li Jun. He said this man was...bad. That he used...bad magic.” He looked Wei Ying in the eye, something unspoken being said between the two, but shot a glance at Lan Wangji, then back to Wei Ying, looking nervous.
Wei Ying sighed. “Resentful Energy?”
Sizhui nodded, and Lan Wangji was floored. “He uses Demonic Cultivation?” he asked, not even trying to cover up his disdain.
Sizhui nodded again, this time more slowly, and looked at Wei Ying. Lan Wangji looked at him too.
He was slumped down, but stiff, his shoulders locked. He stared ahead, past Sizhui, eyes unblinking and jaw set. He looked more uncomfortable, more troubled than he did this morning when he found out Lan Wangji didn’t know who he was.
What had upset him so?
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji said, reaching for him, but pausing. Wei Ying had shut his eyes tight, and swallowed hard. Sirens were going off in Lan Wangji’s head. What had happened in the last few seconds? What had he missed? “What’s wrong?”
Wei Ying opened his eyes. “I can’t do this again,” he said, ever so softly. He was about to ask him what he meant, but he wasn’t looking at him. He was talking to Sizhui.
Lan Wangji looked at his son, hoping for some sort of explanation, but his eyes were focused on Wei Ying, looking determined. He nodded, then turned to Lan Wangji.
“Yes, Baba. He uses Demonic Cultivation. But, it's a person’s choices and actions that make someone good or bad, right? Not their Cultivation path.”
His husband was quiet beside him, staring at him. Lan Wangji was missing something. Something important and heavy, pulling at his mind. He had a fairly good guess at what it was, as much as he didn’t want to assume.
But, Wei Ying was hurting. He could see that much. He looked like a cornered animal, ready to flee.
From him.
He didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to hurt Wei Ying. So, he simply nodded.
Wei Ying instantly relaxed, releasing a quiet sigh.
No. Lan Wangji did not want to think about any of this.
“Right,” Sizhui said, getting both of their attention back on the case. “So, the boy said that this Li Jun had come into town a few months ago. The village was not doing well, like you both heard. But Li Jun insisted he could change that. That they could be thriving. He was the one who suggested...seeking the help of the Yao.”
“Seeking help?” Wei Ying asked, getting right back into this. Like nothing happened. “The kid used those words?”
“Yes. I don’t think he knows everything that happened. Just that there were two Yaos before, and then after Li Jun spoke to the villagers, he could only see one across the treeline.”
“Did he say how it acted?” Lan Wangji asked, realizing he hadn't spoken.
“It looked lost, and scared.”
“That Li Jun,” Wei Ying said. “He must have lured the other one away somehow. Maybe captured it…” he trailed off. The three knew what conclusion this ended in, but none wished to say it aloud.
“The Fox Spirit attacked this village for weeks before they even sent word to the Cloud Recesses,” Sizhui said thoughtfully.
“Now why would these good people wait so long to ask for help?” Wei Ying asked with a shake of his head.
They were quiet for a moment, before Sizhui continued.
“So before the spirit began its attack, this place was falling apart.”
“And then,” Wei Ying added. “Everything flipped. Crops thriving. More people passing by. More income. If there were two Yaos before, and we only heard of and ran into one of them...we have to assume—”
“They did something,” Sizhui said. “Something bad.”
“Fox Spirits are known to bring prosperity,” Lan Wangji said, feeling sick.
“Whatever they did…” Sizhui trailed off.
Wei Ying turned to him. “Lan Zhan,” he began. “We should have looked more into this before…”
Before Lan Wangji fought the Yao.
A Yao that seemed more and more likely to have not been unprovoked indeed.
“Did you kill it?” Sizhui asked softly.
Lan Wangji shook his head. “It escaped. But, I gravely injured it.”
It could be dead…for all they know.
Wei Ying took his hand. “Come on. Let’s go.”
They spent the next few hours searching for this Li Jun the boy spoke of. He said he was staying in a little shack about fifty yards from the village, but the boy wouldn’t get close. His home made him feel bad, the boy had said.
“Feel bad? Like pity?” Wei Ying asked as they walked.
“No, I think he meant...scared,” Sizhui said.
“Ah.”
The two were quiet then, walking side by side in front of Lan Wangji. He glanced between the two, the atmosphere turning heavy. Lan Wangji thought it was just his imagination at first, for the shift in the mood, but he could physically feel a change around them. A dark energy.
“We’re close,” Wei Ying said harshly, all playfulness gone from his tone.
They saw the shack then. Surrounded by collapsed trees, like something...unnatural knocked them over.
Wei Ying put a finger to his lips, then walked soundlessly toward the shack. Not even the dirt under his boots made noise. Lan Wangji followed right behind him, with Sizhui taking the rear.
Peeking through the broken window at the front of the house, Lan Wangji saw a bundle in the shape of a man slumped on the floor, on top of a sleeping mat. There was no other furniture. It was completely empty.
With a nod, Wei Ying slowly tried the door. It opened with little fuss, and as quietly as Wei Ying had stepped.
It was a man. His back was to them, and the only reason Lan Wangji knew he was alive at all was for his shoulders slowly rising and falling with his breaths. He barely moved.
When all three of them were inside right by the doorway, on high alert, the man did move. A sharp turn of the head, eyes wide open. Almost unnatural.
“Why, so many uninvited guests,” the man said with an unnerving smile. It sat too wide on his face. The bags under his eyes made them seem sunken into his face. His skin was too pale and he was incredibly skinny.
“Li Jun, I presume?” Wei Ying asked, his posture relaxed but his hand on his belt.
Where was his sword?
“And may I know your names?” Li Jun asked, standing up slowly. “Seeing as you’re in my home and all.”
“Not quite so homey, is it?” Wei Ying added. “A little…rundown.”
The man scoffed. “Yeah, well, I’ve been having a very…persistent visitor lately.”
“Would that happen to be a Fox Spirit?” Sizhui asked politely, but Lan Wangji could see the tension in his face.
“Ah,” the man said with a clap. “That’s why you’re here. The righteous Lan Sect has come to dispose of the evil villain.” He pointed to himself, cocked his head toward Lan Wangji. “Isn’t that right, Hanguang-Jun?” Then, he looked to Wei Ying. “And yet…here you are.”
Wei Ying narrowed his eyes, but said nothing in reply.
Did this man know Wei Ying? No, he couldn’t. Not if he thought he was evil.
“What did you do to the Yao?” Lan Wangji asked instead, wanting this conversation to be over.
Li Jun’s dark eyes moved back to Lan Wangji. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Bullshit,” Wei Ying said, taking a step forward. “This village was on the verge of ruin, and then after you showed up, everything is suddenly flourishing.”
“So?” Li Jun said, with a shrug of his boney shoulders. “Isn’t that good? Shouldn't you be thanking me?”
“Not if you used dark means,” Lan Wangji stated.
“You Lans are so hypocritical. So adamant about the dark path, and yet you marry the King of—”
“Enough ,” Wei Ying said with tense anger. “Tell us.”
“They asked for help. They were desperate. It was hilarious,” he said with a crazed laugh. Sizhui shifted behind Lan Wangji, clearly uncomfortable. “I only showed them the way. Ashes to ashes…dust to dust.” His laugh continued.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Wei Ying snapped. “Tell us what you did!”
The man stopped laughing. “I did what we always do, Wei Wuxian. I destroyed.”
What was this man even talking about? Wei Ying does not destroy. He protects.
Wei Ying glared. “Why?” he asked.
“Because it’s fun!”
Scoffing, Wei Ying shook his head. “You’re disgusting.”
Li Jun began laughing again. “You’re one to talk.”
“Enough,” Lan Wangji finally said. “You speak of my husband as if you know him, and yet everything you say clearly shows you do not.” He unsheathed Bichen. “Wei Ying asked you a question. What evil have you descended here?”
The Resentful Energy thickened, making the air even heavier. The man swayed side to side, humming softly.
“Evil…” he said quietly. “Why do they always say that?”
“Because you are?” Wei Ying said.
“I heard them,” Li Jun continued, like Wei Ying didn’t say a thing. “After. They ask for my help. I give it to them, and they still call me evil behind my back. They still look at me with disgust.”
“After what?” Sizhui said softly. “What did you do? How did you help them?”
“The Ritual..” the Demonic Cultivator said absentmindedly.
“What Ritual?” Wei Ying asked darkly.
Li Jun’s eyes fell on Wei Ying, and a wicked smile crept upon his face.
“I created it,” he said. “All by myself. Aren’t you proud?”
Lan Wangji didn’t want to hear any more of this. Something was itching at the back of his mind. And Lan Wangji, for once since he woke up this morning and found out he had a husband he did not remember, did not wish to push. Did not want to know.
Before Wei Ying could open his mouth, Lan Wangji struck. A quick leap to the man with his blade had Li Jun dodging at the last second, avoiding a much deeper wound than the small cut along his cheek.
“Hah! Have you no shame? You’d strike down an unarmed man?”
“You and I both know, you’re not unarmed,” Wei Ying said, stepping up beside Lan Wangji.
“Hm,” Li Jun said with a cocked smile. “You’re right.”
And he struck.
Resentful Energy flew from the man in bursts, encompassing the shack. Lan Wangji sheathed Bichen and summoned Wangji for help. With a swipe on his hand, Wangji unleashed a stream of Spiritual Energy with an angelic chord. Li Jun was fast, but not fast enough. He slammed into the wall, nearly breaking through.
Li Jun laughed, blood spilling from his mouth. His eyes were crazy.
They were blood red.
“You Lans,” he said, standing, taking a few steps forward. “ Always fight dirty.”
Tendrils of black energy coiled around his feet before Lan Wangji could stop it, and slammed him into the ground, hard, his head hitting the wooden floor with a thud before he could even throw up his hands to lessen the blow.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying screamed.
Lan Wangji blinked away the haze in his eyes from the impact, his vision already clearing. He was just about to call out to him. To tell his husband he was fine.
That was when he heard it.
Something…evil.
The sound was twisted and warped and shrill. He heard someone scream. Li Jun. He slammed into the wall, blasting through the decaying wood with powerful force.
With Resentful Energy.
An attack. And not from Li Jun.
He knew. Before Lan Wangji even turned to his husband, he knew.
And there he stood. His eyes narrowed in anger. Red. He held a black flute to his lips.
And he was covered in Resentful Energy.
Wisps of it surrounded him from head to toe. It felt unnatural. It felt wrong.
He knew. The way Wei Ying tensed up at lunch when Lan Wangji mentioned Resentful Energy. The way this Demonic Cultivator knew of him. Spoke about him. How Wei Ying kept interrupting the man whenever he acknowledged him.
Lan Wangji did want to know this, but he knew. And yet…
“Wei Ying…” he said softly.
The note ended. Wei Ying slowly lowered the flute to his belt. Did he have that on him the entire time?
The Resentful Energy dissipated. And Wei Ying’s eyes returned to normal as they turned toward Lan Wangji.
“You’re a Demonic Cultivator,” he said, knowing it was already true. Like saying it out loud would change that.
Wei Ying shrugged a shoulder weakly. “Kind of invented it,” he said with a huffed laugh.
Lan Wangji stood, stepped toward him. “Wei Ying. You can’t.”
Wei Ying sighed. “And yet I do.”
“This is not the way. This path will only lead to destruction.”
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said softly, his hand hovering close to Lan Wangji’s face, like he wanted to touch. Lan Wangji felt something sticky and wet on his temple, dripping down the side of his face. He must be bleeding. “It’s fine. I know what I’m doing.”
“No,” he said. “Resentful Energy clouds your mind. It will damage your cultivation. Your core.”
Wei Ying dropped his hand. “That isn’t a problem,” he said with an off smile.
“Wei Ying.”
“Lan Zhan. I’m fine.”
“But—”
Sizhui entered the hut through the hole in the wall. He didn’t even notice him step away. “Li Jun is dead,” he stated.
“Good,” Wei Ying said harshly.
“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji said, feeling helpless.
“What?” he replied, a little more forcefully than he must have wanted to. His face fell, and after a long pause, he turned from Lan Wangji, heading outside.
Going away.
“Wei Ying!” he called after him.
“Lan Zhan, please,” Wei Ying said, turning to him, and something in his voice made him pause. Wei Ying looked like he might cry. “Please, just…I can’t. Let’s just go home for now. We can figure this out later. Okay?”
His husband was staring at him. He heard the desperate plea in his voice.
Lan Wangji has never felt more helpless.
“Okay.”
When he left Cloud Recesses this morning, he had a smiling husband holding his hand and a never ending conversation.
He returned in absolute silence. Wei Ying had said nothing to him, and he had said nothing to Wei Ying. Only following behind him on the short journey back home. A worried and obviously upset Sizhui close beside him.
When they returned, Wei Ying walked briskly away in the direction of the Jingshi.
Lan Wangji watched him go.
“Master Wei is not evil.”
Lan Wangji turned to his son. His jaw tense and his eyebrows drawn in. He was upset. Lan Wangji upset him. And his husband.
“I know that,” he said, because he did. “I know he is good. But, Demonic Cultivation is—”
“Is still Cultivation,” Sizhui said. “It can be used for good or evil. It depends on the cultivator. Same as using Spiritual Energy.”
Lan Wangji felt quite scolded. He hung his head low. “It is dangerous,” he whispered.
His son sighed. “I know you are only afraid for him. But Master Wei is much more capable than you think.” That much is true. “And you disappointed him. You hurt him.”
Lan Wangji lifted his head, staring into the stubborn eyes of his son. “I did not mean to—”
“I know you didn’t mean to, and I know he gets that too, but he’s hurting right now.”
Lan Wangji felt his chest tighten.
“It was not my intention—”
“I know, Baba,” Sizhui interrupted, yet again. “But the one person he can talk to when he’s hurting is you. So…” He nudged him forward. “Go talk to him.”
Lan Wangji chuckled lightly. “Alright. Thank you, Sizhui.”
Sizhui’s cheeks brightened. “Of course,” he said with a nod, and then turned and quickly walked off in the other direction.
He found his husband quietly pacing in their room in the Jingshi. He didn’t stop when Lan Wangji slid open the door.
He did stop when Lan Wangji said his name.
Wei Ying paused in his step, sighing deeply. He turned to him, his eyes deep with emotion. He reached out his hand, palm up.
“Let’s get you cleaned up. Okay, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji looked at the man who was his husband, feeling more afraid than he has in a very long time.
And not of Wei Ying. The way he looks at Lan Wangji. The way he makes him feel. No, not of him. Never of him.
But, for him.
He cannot lose his husband to this. He will not.
“Lan Zhan?”
He locked eyes with Wei Ying. They were sad. Vulnerable.
He took his hand.
Wei Ying seemed to release tension with a single breath. He gently tugged him along to their bed, and sat him down. A washcloth and small bowl of clean water were already placed on the floor beside them.
With gentle ease, Wei Ying rung out the washcloth and softly wiped at Lan Wangji’s face, cleaning the dried blood. Lan Wangji had forgotten all about the wound.
Wei Ying tsked. “Why haven’t you healed this yet, Lan Zhan? Do you want a scar?”
When Lan Wangji said nothing, only lowering his eyes, Wei Ying sighed with a bit of fondness, his thumb lightly swiping over the side of Lan Wangji’s face.
He retracted his hand then, leaning back on his knees. “Does it still hurt?”
Although Lan Wangji had forgotten about his head on the tense walk back, once Wei Ying brought attention to it, he found that there was a dulled pain in his temple.
But, since a few moments ago, it no longer hurts at all.
“No,” Lan Wangji said with a furrowed brow.
Wei Ying smiled. A small thing. “Good.”
Good. Exactly what he said when he heard that man was dead. That Wei Ying had killed him.
Except this time, Wei Ying was not all shadows and harshness. He was soft. Gentle. Like this morning. Like all day before Lan Wangji saw him use that flute.
He looked perfectly fine, just tired. But he knows how Resentful Energy plagues the mind as well as the body. Maybe it hasn’t hit him yet.
That man. He was sick. Of the mind and flesh. The Resentful Energy was eating him alive, and he didn’t even seem to notice. To care.
A dreadful image came to Lan Wangji’s mind. Of Wei Ying with pale skin. Sunken eyes. So skinny his ribs were showing. Laughing. Thinking everything was so funny as he faded away to nothing.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said with pain in his voice. Wei Ying stared at him, his smile evening out. “Wei Ying, please let me play for you.”
Wei Ying closed his eyes, and sighed. Standing, he said, “No, thank you. I’m fine.”
“Your core—”
“I’m fine, Lan Zhan. Do you sense any lingering effects?”
Lan Zhan stood, and looked. Really looked.
And Wei Ying was right. There was no lingering Resentful Energy. It must have dissipated. On its own?
“See? I’m okay. Now, we’ve had a long day. Let’s eat and rest, and figure out what to do tomorrow.”
He frowned. He was tired. And they were no closer to figuring out this curse, especially with the Demonic Cultivator dead. Whatever ritual he did, it may have died with him.
Before Lan Wangji could respond, Wei Ying walked past him, calling behind him that he would grab dinner.
Lan Wangji sighed, but began to make a pot of tea nonetheless. If only for something to do with his hands.
Wei Ying returned just as he was pouring two cups.
“Excellent idea, Lan Zhan,” he said with a chipper tone as he placed the bowls of foods on the table. He was smiling, but it wasn’t like before. He was tense.
This was Lan Wangji’s fault.
“Thank you, Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying looked up at him with a smile.
He quietly watched as Wei Ying and he ate. They didn’t speak. It felt off. Conversations during meals were against the rules, but somehow he knew that wasn’t the case with them.
As he ate his vegetables, he watched as Wei Ying tossed some meat into his meal, and proceeded to dump a small bottle of chili oil onto his bowl.
Lan Wangji must have made a face, for when Wei Ying looked up at him, he laughed.
“It’s good, Lan Zhan! Don’t judge me because you have no taste.”
Lan Wangji smiled. “You won’t have any taste soon if you continue eating such spicy foods.”
Wei Ying scoffed. “I’ll have you know I’ve been eating much hotter foods than this for most of my life, and my taste buds are completely intact.”
Lan Wangji hummed skeptically.
Wei Ying laughed, his smile staying on his face this time, as he began listing off all the spicy concoctions he has consumed in his lifetime.
And that smile. It was so beautiful. So kind. He never wanted it to go away.
They were having a good meal. A good moment. But all Lan Wangji could think of was that his husband was a Demonic Cultivator. That his husband uses Resentful Energy without caring for the aftereffects.
They were having a lovely meal.
So of course, Lan Wangji had to ruin it.
“Let me play Cleansing for you.”
Wei Ying blinked up at him, his mouth freezing open as he came to a stop in his story. He closed it. His lips thinned. “Lan Zhan—”
“You’re right. I sense nothing is amiss with your physical form. But…”
Wei Ying only stared, his face scrunched.
Lan Wangji sighed. “I worry for your mental well-being.”
Wei Ying laughed. Unkindly. “You think I’m like him. Like Li Jun?”
“No.”
That man was evil. He had no remorse for the things he’d done. Whatever he did to that Yao, to that village. That was only what they had known of. Who knows what else he has done.
Wei Ying was not like that.
But, the thought of what Wei Ying could become. The unknown.
It was terrifying.
“That’s what you’re saying!” Wei Ying yelled. Then, he gasped, snapping his mouth shut. He groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands.
“I can’t do this again,” he said, sounding just as small as when he had said it to Sizhui the other day and...oh. That’s what he meant. They must have had this argument before.
“Wei Ying,” he tried.
“I thought…” He looked at Lan Wangji, his eyes a little red. “I thought we were okay?” He sounded just as miserable as he looked. Lan Wangji felt the same.
“I just wished to help.”
Wei Ying sighed. “I know, Lan Zhan. You always just want to help.” Wei Ying sounded fond, but tired. “But, we’ve been over this. I know what I’m doing. I can handle it.”
“Demonic Cultivation can tamper with your mind,” he began, and continued even as Wei Ying sighed heavily, standing up, his meal forgotten. Lan Wangji moved to his feet, too. “This path will only hurt you. Your cultivation.”
“Lan Zhan…”
“Wei Ying, please. Just let me try,” he said, taking a step towards him.
He tried not to let his pain show when Wei Ying took a step back.
“No.”
“Wei Ying. Let me play for—”
“No,” he repeated.
Why? Why wouldn’t he listen? And why would Lan Wangji have allowed his husband down this crooked path and not help him? He must have known about Wei Ying’s choice of cultivation. It would be impossible to hide. Was Lan Wangji so blinded by love that he allowed Wei Ying to continue hurting himself?
Well, he couldn’t allow it anymore.
Lan Wangji turned around and walked towards his guqin. Wei Ying seemed to figure out what he was doing before he even made it halfway across the room. He grabbed his wrist.
“Lan Wangji!”
“Wei Wuxian!”
They stared at each other, glaring, breathing hard. Lan Wangji was so angry. Why did he not see? He was only trying to help.
“The Resentful Energy will only damage your cultivation,” he said firmly. “It will kill you.”
“I have it under control—”
“Like before?” he asked. “You killed that man in anger.”
“He hurt you!”
“You’re hurting yourself! Your core—”
Pulling his hand up, Wei Ying smacked Lan Wangji’s palm against his chest firmly. “I don’t have a Golden Core!”
Lan Wangji blinked at him. He...he was right.
He used his own spiritual energy to try to feel it, feel something.
Nothing.
Wei Ying’s Golden Core…
“How?”
Wei Ying sighed. “I lost it a long time ago. It’s a long story.” Wei Ying shook his head. “Lan Zhan, all this body is...is Resentful Energy. It’s not killing me. It’s the only thing keeping me alive.”
And Lan Wangji tried to take it away.
They were quiet. Exhausted. Wei Ying had released his grip moments ago. Lan Wangji doesn’t remember the last time he raised his voice so much. Felt so much.
Wei Ying makes him feel so much.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but stopped when he heard Wei Ying laugh. A dry, short laugh, that wasn’t pleasant to hear in the slightest.
“I can’t believe we’re back here again.”
“Wei Ying, I…”
“I think I’m going to go stay at Lotus Pier for a few days,” Wei Ying said, and whatever Lan Wangji was going to say froze in this throat. “Jiang Cheng’s been bothering me for a visit,” he continued softly.
Lan Wangji stared at him for a moment. “Are you certain?” he asked.
He shrugged weakly, not meeting his eyes. “Might as well. I can do some research about the curse there. See if they have anything we don’t.”
Lan Wangji swallowed. This wasn’t right. They were supposed to do this together.
“If…if that is what you want,” he found himself saying.
Wei Ying looked stricken for a second, then his face went blank.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “Okay.”
He walked away from him then, and Lan Wangji simply let him, feeling lost, and praying he wasn’t making a terrible mistake.
Lan Wangji had made a terrible mistake.
He knew it only a few minutes after Wei Ying had left. It was late. He wouldn’t leave right now, would he? The night air was chilled, and Lotus Pier was a few days travel by sword.
By sword.
Wei Ying doesn’t have a Golden Core.
He cannot fly a sword.
He wouldn’t walk all that way…
Would he?
No, he was being ridiculous. He should just rest, and in the morning he can find Wei Ying and…
Lan Wangji didn’t know what.
As the moments ticked by, Lan Wangji felt more and more restless. It was well past nine. He should be asleep.
He couldn’t stop picturing his very stubborn husband, shivering in the cold, walking and walking further and further away from his home.
Just to get away from the cursed, idiotic husband of his.
He would…wouldn’t he?
Wei Ying would walk to Yunmeng in the dead of night.
Did he bring any money with him? How would he pay for a room? A meal?
Was he planning on sleeping in the woods? On the side of the road?
Lan Wangji spent no more time manifesting these terrifying scenarios. He needed to find his husband right now.
After dressing and placing on his boots, he grabbed Bichen and slid the door open so quickly he stumbled, almost knocking over—
“Sizhui?”
His son sat on his porch, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. He sighed.
“Took you long enough,” he said with a small smile.
Lan Wangji felt shame welling in his belly. “Where is he?”
“He left,” Sizhui said, standing up. He grabbed Lan Wangji’s arm when he started running down the steps. “Slow down,” he said with a small laugh.
“But—” Lan Wangji began.
“He’s fine. He’s already there. Safe and sound.”
That made him pause. It couldn’t have been more than an hour since he let him walk out the door. No one could make that trip that quickly, even by sword.
When Lan Wangji opened his mouth, Sizhui said, “Talisman,” with a little shrug that was so much like Wei Ying.
“What Talisman?” he asked. A Talisman to travel the distance of days in just moments? That doesn’t exist. It can’t.
“That’s impossible,” he said.
Sizhui just smiled. A cheeky little thing. “Let me show you something.”
A workshop. Sizhui took him to a workshop. Not just anyone’s.
Wei Ying’s. This place was so Wei Ying.
Another room was added to the Library Pavillion. He couldn’t remember when, so he knew it was with Wei Ying. The room was large, with many windows for lots of natural light to shine through.
He knew that, because Lan Wangji had been in Wei Ying’s workshop for hours.
It was morning now, well past five, and although Lan Wangji was tired, he couldn’t shut his eyes.
He was still taking it all in.
Texts and scrolls and loose papers littered the bookshelves. The table. The floor.
Blank Joss papers sat in a messy pile, while others were filled with messy symbols and pictures.
Talismans.
Sizhui showed him the ones for transportation. Wei Ying had sent a few to his brother in Lotus Pier. Activating it on one end sent the cultivator to the other in a matter of seconds.
Activating it with Resentful Energy.
“He’s still figuring out how to make it work with Spiritual Energy,” Sizhui had said. “Said it could help out cultivators in a bind. You’re helping him out with that one.”
And not just cultivators.
From Wei Yings notes, he could see that his husband was working on making it work for non cultivators as well. A way to activate it without needing any cultivation, at all.
There were prototypes. Talismans brimming with energy. Resentful Energy. All it needed was a touch, or a swipe of a hand to activate.
The travel one. Warming Talismans. Cooling. One for a boost of energy. One to help with a headache. To shade from the sun. From rain. For a scrape or cut. To help with stomach pains. To clean water. To cleanse. To call for help. To protect. To heal.
Lan Wangji never even considered that Resentful Energy could heal.
He lifted his hand to his head, brushing his fingers along his temple, where Wei Ying cleaned his wound yesterday. Where he touched his face.
It was smooth. No sign of any damage.
“Does it still hurt?”
Wei Ying had healed him.
He doesn’t have a Golden Core, and yet. He healed his wound.
With Resentful Energy.
And Lan Wangji didn’t even notice. It didn’t hurt, or have any effect on him at all. Or on Wei Ying. And he did it so quickly.
Just with the swipe of his thumb.
Wei Ying told him over and over. That he was fine. That he had it under control. And Lan Wangji kept pushing. He didn’t understand.
Looking around him, at the mess of care and love his husband has left behind. The Talismans and spells and scrolls. There were so many.
For cultivators. For the common people. Wei Ying just wanted to help. He’s always just wanted to help.
His husband was going to change the world.
When Sizhui dropped off some breakfast for him in the morning, he handed him the text he has in his lap right now, before giving him a smile and heading back out. The one Lan Wangji read all the way through. That he had to read all the way through before ever being able to face his husband again.
It was a handbook. A guidebook. From “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation.”
Lan Wangji read through every messy note and scribble by his husband’s hand. Every footnote and scratched out marking. It was an organized mess. Chaotic and informative. Cautious and ridiculous.
It was Wei Ying.
The text had everything there was to know of Demonic Cultivation. Of how it started from hate and anger. How it morphed into something more over time. Something great. How dangerous and powerful. And how beautiful. That it was created to protect. How easy it was to lose your way. How necessary it was to be surrounded by those who love and care for you. To seek help from them.
How you can still be strong without a Golden Core. That you can still cultivate.
Even to immortality.
Wei Ying was working toward immortality.
There was a page close to the end that Lan Wangji kept going back to. It was about giving and taking. Taking in Resentful Energy and expelling anything harmful. To help a Demonic Cultivator cultivate to immortality, if that was their goal.
Lan Wangji couldn’t stop reading the little note scribbled on the side of the page, with a ridiculous amount of hearts around it.
Almost there, Lan Zhan! Get ready to be stuck with me forever!
And Lan Wangji understood now. Why he wouldn’t stop his husband from this path. Why he wasn’t worried for him. Why he trusted him.
How Resentful Energy can be used for good. How Demonic Cultivation is not evil. How it can help people.
All Wei Ying ever wanted to do was help people.
He understood now.
And now, Lan Wangji was ready to see his husband.
“Are you sure about this?” Sizhui asked, flexing and unflexing his fingers nervously.
“Sizhui is right,” Lan Xichen said. “There’s no need to be rash!”
“Have you thought this through, Wangji?” Lan Qiren added.
When Lan Wangji had told his son he was going to see Wei Ying, he was ecstatic.
When Lan Wangji told his son he was going to use the prototype travel Talisman filled with Resentful Energy to get to Lotus Pier, he was not so excited.
In fact, Sizhui ran to his Uncle, who has apparently broken his self-seclusion temporarily to tell their Uncle, who is now pacing back and forth worriedly with a hand on his chin.
Lan Wangji smiled at his family. He loved them.
There was only one person missing.
“I’m sure. I trust Wei Ying. It will work.”
“It worked for Wei-Gege because he knows how to use Resentful Energy!” Sizhui said, his hands on his head in horror. Lan Wangji laughed. “It’s not funny!”
No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t funny how Lan Wangji had treated his husband. How he refused to listen. His ignorance hurt Wei Ying. This is the first step to his apology. It worked for Wei Ying. He trusts him.
He loves him.
And he has to see him. This instant.
“It will work. Trust your Father,” he said. Whether Sizhui took that as trusting him or Wei Ying, it didn’t matter.
His son sighed deeply and nodded his head.
“I still think you should just take your sword,” his Uncle said. He’d stopped pacing, but his fingers were twitching.
“I agree,” Lan Xichen said. He sighed. “But I know you are too stubborn to listen to reason when it comes to Master Wei.”
Lan Qiren scoffed, but said nothing. He didn’t storm off, which was a good sign.
“Thank you. All of you. I’ll be back soon.”
Hopefully.
“You better. With that husband of yours,” his Uncle said, glaring off into the distance. Lan Wangji smiled again, nodding his head.
“Good luck. Be careful,” his brother said.
Sizhui stared, then pointed a finger at him. “You better grovel.”
Lan Wangji nodded seriously. “I intend to.”
When he activated the Talisman with a swipe of his finger, he assumed he’d feel the Resentful Energy coursing around him. He thought maybe it would hurt a little. He thought it would take a moment to activate.
He hadn’t assumed that he’d feel nothing. And in the blink of an eye he’d be crashing into a low table fully covered with food, and slamming into the Jiang Sect Leader, knocking them both to the floor.
“What the fuck?!” Jiang Wanyin colorfully exclaimed.
Before he could even sit up he heard him.
“Lan Zhan?!”
Oh, thank the gods.
“Wei Ying,” he said, sitting up from the grumbling man on the ground.
His husband was there in a second, helping him stand, brushing off from his robes what he could of the breakfast Lan Wangji rudely landed in, muttering and rambling questions and concerns.
Seeing Wei Ying fluttering around him and worrying over him like a mother hen made his heart soar. He didn't ruin this. He can still fix this.
“—you thinking?! You used my Talismen, didn’t you? We haven’t figured out how to use Spiritual Energy yet! Did you use my prototype!? ”
“Yes,” Lan Wangji said, thoroughly chastised. “Wei Ying—”
“Are you out of your mind?! It’s a prototype for a reason! You could have died!” he yelled, shaking Lan Wangji by the shoulders.
“I had to see you,” he said.
“There are other ways of transportation,” Jiang Wanyin said dryly, standing and brushing off his own robes. “I’m fine, by the way,” he said to his brother, who hasn't stopped shaking Lan Wangji.
“You’re so stupid!” Wei Ying said. “What if you had died? What would become of your poor husband then, huh?!”
Lan Wangji couldn’t help the smile on his face. “You’re brilliant.”
Wei Ying dropped his hands, looking at him strangely. “What?”
“Our son showed me your workshop. I spent all night there. Your work. Your Talismans. I’m standing right here in Yunmeng, when just a moment ago I was in Gusu. Wei Ying. You are brilliant.”
His husband opened and closed his mouth, his face a little pink. He huffed, and turned to his brother.
“Could you give us a minute?” he asked.
Jiang Wanyin threw his hands in the air dramatically. “Sure! Why the fuck not? It’s not like this is my room or anything!”
Wei Ying laughed, then hummed. “Yeah, it is weird how my Talisman brought Lan Zhan here. When last night I arrived at the ancestral hall where you were kneeling…”
The Sect Leader was already hurriedly walking towards the door, his head low and shoulders stiff.
“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Ying said with a laugh. “Do you keep my Talismans on you?”
“Shut up!” he said, storming out the door and sliding it shut. Wei Ying laughed, rubbing his eyes.
“He really does care,” he said softly, smiling at Lan Wangji, who returned the gesture.
“Wei Ying, I—”
In the next second, the door slid open again, and Jiang Wanyin shot a heated glare at Lan Wangji.
“If you ever make him cry again, I will cut off your dick and feed it to your rabbits.”
And with that, the door slid shut again, and loud footsteps drifted away.
When he turned back to Wei Ying, his mouth was hung open, staring at the closed door. He met his gaze and snorted.
“The mouth on that man,” Wei Ying said lightly.
But Lan Wangji did not laugh.
He had made Wei Ying cry.
As Sizhui had said, it was time to grovel.
He fell to the floor, kowtowing to his husband. He knows he must look ridiculous, covered in messy foods. He could feel his hair and headband lose, but he didn’t care.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying said, kneeling in front of him, trying to pull him up. “What are you doing? Stop that!”
“Wei Ying. You are amazing. You found a new way of Cultivation. All on your own.” He allowed his husband to pull up enough so he could look into his eyes. “Your mind is incredible. You’ve created so many wonderful things. You’re going to help so many people. You’re going to change the world.”
Wei Ying swallowed, staring at him with wide eyes. “...I thought you didn’t like it?” he said quietly.
“I’m an ignorant fool. I thought I knew what was right and what was wrong. But the world is not so black and white.”
Wei Ying’s lip curled in the corner. A small little smile that made Lan Wangji’s heart beat faster. “You are not a fool. You are a good man. I know you were only scared for me.”
“That doesn’t excuse my behavior. I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have let you walk out that door.”
Wei Ying huffed a breath softly. “Well, you were raised a certain way. We all were. No one reacted well when I started playing my flute,” he said with a shrug. “But, times are changing. You changed.”
“You changed me,” Lan Wangji said. He didn’t have his memories back, but he knew this much. “You made me a better man.”
Wei Ying smiled. “We made each other better.”
Lan Wangji held his husband’s face in his hands, rubbing his cheeks with his thumb lightly. “I didn’t know there could be any good in Demonic Cultivation. I always saw it as harmful and evil. But, I understand now. I was wrong. I know that now because you are good.” Wei Ying inhaled sharply, seemingly trying not to cry. “I know you are in control, and I know you won’t lose your way.”
Wei Ying laughed softly. “Because you won’t let me.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji hummed with a smile as Wei Ying cuddled close to him. “I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, Wei Ying. I should have listened to you. I know this hasn’t been easy. And I have not been making it any easier.”
When Wei Ying pulled back, his eyes were shiny. “It’s not your fault you got cursed,” he said with a sigh. “Oh!” he said, patting Lan Wangji’s chest excitedly. “I found something.”
He jumped up, rummaging around in a carrying bag on the other side of the room. He pulled out a worn looking scroll, and was back in Lan Wangji’s lap in the next moment.
“Remember what that asshole said? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust? I thought he was just being an annoying cryptic, and he kind of was, but I figured it out.”
Of course he did.
Wei Ying pointed to the scroll. It looked like a spell.
A Ritual?
“This was in my old room. Where I used to keep any research I could find on…bad stuff.” He chewed on his lip for a moment. “When I first came back from the Burial Mounds, after I lost my Core. I…wasn’t okay.”
Lan Wangji couldn’t remember what he was talking about, but it must have been the beginning. The beginning of his Cultivation.
“You’re right that this path is dangerous. It doesn’t have to be, but it can be if you aren’t careful.” Lan Wangji nodded his head for him to continue. “I wasn’t very careful…at first.”
Lan Wangji took his hand in his, and Wei Ying squeezed it in appreciation. With a small smile, he continued. “I wanted to hurt people. I wanted revenge. This was part of the texts I found during that time.” He sighed, and turned toward him. “I don’t do that anymore. Killing recklessly. Without cause. All that stuff I had, I threw it all away, except for a few things.”
He understood. That Demonic Cultivator from before. His very presence was evil. He had done wrong and flourished with it. He showed no remorse or guilt, and he had attacked them all.
Wei Ying does not kill recklessly. He did not lose himself to anger.
Wei Ying protects.
Lan Wangji nodded again. “I believe you.”
His husband’s smile took his breath away. He hummed happily and laid his weight against Lan Wangji’s shoulder. “I know,” he whispered.
Lan Wangji kissed his temple, like it was such a natural thing between them. It must be, for how Wei Ying melted on top of him.
“What did you keep?” he asked Wei Ying, gesturing to the scroll.
Wei Ying cleared his throat. “The really bad stuff. Curses and rituals on how to take. To not give back in return. How to hurt things to get what you want. Selfish spells. And how to break them.”
Lan Wangji glanced at the scroll curiously. Wei Ying handed it to him.
It was a dark spell, indeed. A dated looking ritual for what seemed to be a couple unable to have children. The spell calls for the need of three different species of animal, all pregnant. Under a full moon, the caster must…
“Burn the animals…” Lan Wangji said.
“And eat their ashes,” Wei Ying added with a grimace. “Then the caster would be with child within a fortnight.”
“That’s…” He didn’t know what to say.
“I know,” Wei Ying said. “But, ashes. Like you said, Yao are known to bring prosperity.”
Lan Wangji frowned. “The village. They couldn’t even grow food until recently.”
“Until the second Yao disappeared,” Wei Ying finished.
Lan Wangji sighed. “And I attacked the other one.”
“It was probably its mate,” Wei Ying said softly, and Lan Wangji hung his head. “I bet the people that were killed were the ones who did the Ritual. They must have burned that poor Yao and scattered its ashes in the soil.”
It made sense. How the village began to prosper out of seemingly nowhere. How dead soil became abundantly healthy. How the villagers acted. Even if they weren’t a part of the spell, they must have known about it.
“And Li Jun. He must have told them about the spell. He said he didn’t do anything. He just watched,” Wei Ying spat. “But he was just as guilty as those who casted the Ritual.”
“His shack. It was falling apart,” Lan Wangji stated.
“Must have been the Yao, trying to get to him, but never could.”
“You did,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Ying nodded slowly. “Yeah. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”
Lan Wangji rubbed his shoulder. “The Yao is the one who cursed me to lose my memories of you. To forget.”
Wei Ying looked down with narrowed eyes in thought, then looked back at him with a frown. “It was forgetting its mate. You said the Yao was agitated when you fought. It must have been so confused and scared and angry.” Wei Ying sighed heavily. “They say Fox Spirits mate for life.”
The Yao was torn away from their beloved. It probably didn’t even understand what happened until it was too late. It was driven to insanity by their anguish.
“The curse,” Wei Ying said, fiddling with the ends of Lan Wangji’s headband. “They were forgetting their beloved…”
“So they took away mine,” Lan Wangji finished.
The Spirit lashed out at Lan Wangji. Cursed him to lose all memories tied to Wei Ying.
Just like the Yao was losing their own memories. Their time together with their mate.
“Are you angry?” Wei Ying asked.
Lan Wangji shook his head. “Only with myself.”
“You couldn’t have known. Neither of us did.”
“Ignorance is not an excuse.”
He nodded. “You’re right. We need to make it right.”
Lan Wangji put the scroll down. “Do you know how to undo it?” he asked.
Wei Ying smiled sadly. “Yes. Unfortunately it won’t bring the Spirit back. And I don’t know how or even if that will help your curse.”
“We will worry about that later,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Ying nodded. “If I do this. If we gather their ashes from the soil, the land will go back to how it was.”
“It will die,” Lan Wangji said. Wei Ying nodded.
“You okay with that? That’s a whole village’s food source gone.”
Lan Wangji’s jaw tensed. “It is what they deserve.” They should have never done that Ritual, no matter how desperate they were. They should have seeked help elsewhere. “There must be consequences.”
Wei Ying nodded. “Right,” he said, a small smile on his face. “I can do the spell to gather the ashes. Those people can fuck off.”
Lan Wangji chuckled. Then, he rested his chin on Wei Ying’s shoulder. “We should return them to their mate.”
Hopefully, hopefully, they are still alive.
Or Lan Wangji doesn’t know if he would ever forgive himself.
Wei Ying kissed his hair. “We should. But first, you need a bath.”
Lan Wangji laughed, straightening up and looking at his husband. “Yes. This is my only change of clothes, though.”
“No problem,” Wei Ying chirped, rummaging around in his robes before pulling out a Talisman from somewhere. “Been working on this! It’ll make your robes good as new!”
Lan Wangji smiled. “Amazing.”
Wei Ying grinned with a laugh, standing up and taking that old scroll with him, rolling it up. “Let me put this back. l’ll get you some bathwater.”
“Wei Ying?”
“Hm?” he said, looking back at him.
“Why…why did you keep that?” he asked. “And the other…bad stuff you mentioned.” His husband said he threw out a good amount of hurtful things. He was curious as to why he would hold on to anything of that sort at all.
Wei Ying looked down at the scroll in his hands, a small sigh escaping him.
“I honestly haven’t looked at them in years. Ever since I…returned. They’ve been collecting dust under the floorboards of my old room. But…”
“Yes?” Lan Wangji asked.
He smiled sadly at him. “I was scared. When I’m with you, and A Yuan and A Ning, and the little ducklings. I’m so happy. I’m so happy with my life now, Lan Zhan. But, there’s always this little voice in my head, telling me I don’t deserve it. That I've done too much wrong. That I’m evil.” He sighed. “That I’ll always just be the Yiling Patriarch.”
The name is familiar to Lan Wangji, but he couldn’t place it.
“That’s not true,” Lan Wangji said.
He laughed weakly. “I know. But, it still scared me. That I could be that man again.” He looked Lan Wangji in the eyes and smiled. “I kept them so if I ever were to…fall back to those ways, I knew a way out. I kept them so I could undo them.”
Wei Ying kept those evil books and scrolls as a failsafe. In case he ever did any wrong.
So he can do right again.
His husband truly was amazing.
“I love you, Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying blinked at him, and his smile grew wide. He laughed. “You just met me yesterday!” he said teasingly. “Love at first sight, Lan Zhan? I’m honored!”
Lan Wangji chuckled. He felt like he’s known Wei Ying his entire life. “They say Lans only love once.”
Wei Ying hummed, pressing in close to him and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Lan Wangji felt his ears warm.
“My husband is too cute,” Wei Ying said with a toothy grin.
“My husband is the cute one,” Lan Wangji returned.
Wei Ying laughed. Granting him with another kiss.
“Okay,” Wei Ying said. “It’s time to clean up and right our wrongs!” Lan Wangji nodded. “Then we can head out straight away. It’s a lovely morning for a flight!”
“We’re not using your Talismans to get back?” he asked.
Wei Ying laughed, rubbing his nose. “I only brought the one I used. And looks like so did you.”
Lan Wangji put his hands around his husband’s waist. “And how were you planning on getting back?” he asked with a small smile, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it anyway.
Wei Ying grinned, leaned into him and said, “Just waiting for you, of course!”
It took them three days to return to Gusu. It would have been faster, but Lan Wangji flew slowly on his sword, for there was precious cargo behind him, hugging him tightly around his middle. They stopped twice to share a room in different towns. It was nice, being with his husband again. It felt right.
It was very good company.
They returned to the village by the next morning, informing the people there of what they know and what they were about to do. Some were angry, with harsh faces and angry tongues, but most seemed…relieved.
Wei Ying got to work quickly, heading to the main farmland. He held out his hands and closed his eyes, beginning to speak softly in words Lan Wangji did not understand. He stood by his husband, shooting glares at any of the villagers that looked ready to intervene. But most just watched silently.
After several minutes, Wei Ying opened his eyes. They were bright red, and how before it would scare Lan Wangji, he felt only calmness now.
He understood.
When Wei Ying held out his hand to him, Lan Wangji produced the cloth pouch covered in Talismans that Wei Ying made earlier. He handed it to him, somehow both worrying that it won’t work, and knowing it will.
Wei Ying was still speaking those unknown words, but glanced at Lan Wangji when he handed him the pouch. He smiled and winked at him before turning forward once again.
Lan Wangji smiled. Yes. This will work.
When Wei Ying opened the pouch, a strong wind picked up. Dirt whipped around them.
No, not dirt.
Ashes.
In the next second, Wei Ying said one last word, and this one he understood.
“Come.”
It was like the ashes were sucked into the pouch by a powerful force. It only took a moment, and then the wind was gone. Wei Ying’s eyes returned to normal.
And so did everything else around them.
Right in front of their eyes, the lush foliage shriveled and died. The soil became cracked and hard. Barren. The fruits and vegetables decayed. Many buildings and homes collapsed, for they must have been built with wood from the cursed trees. Some of the people fell to the ground in anguish, their fingers digging in the dead earth like they could find something useful down below. Some simply turned away, returning to their rundown homes with their children in their arms. And some breathed easier. Smiled softly.
In a matter of seconds, the village had died. All was as it was before. As it should be.
A little boy stared at them, a small smile on his lips. Lan Wangji wondered if this was the boy who told Sizhui about Li Jun. He wondered if the boy understood what just happened.
He thinks he did.
The village returned to how it once was. The people who stay will likely die, bitter and alone. The ones who leave will have a chance at a new life, in a new place. Wei Ying informed them of nearby villages and towns. Welcoming places where they could start over. He gave them protection Talismans to hide them from any danger.
And money. Wei Ying gave coin purses to any who decided to leave. Who decided to try. If Wei Ying snuck a few extra coins in the purse’s of the village children, Lan Wangji pretended not to notice.
They should not be faulted for the wrongs of their elders.
They found the Yao easily enough. Just after a few minutes of walking deep into the forest, it appeared. It attacked quickly, leaving no time to converse, but it was much slower and weaker than when Lan Wangji fought it before. Lan Wangji had done quite the damage on it before it cursed him.
Guilt wracked through him as he and Wei Ying dodged from the attacks. He did not unsheathe his sword, and Wei Ying did not go for his flute.
They would not harm this creature. Not any more than Lan Wangji already had.
They were getting nowhere like this. And starting to tire themselves.
The Fox Spirit made horrendous and angry noises as it attacked, snarling and growling. Feral. Its eyes were milky white.
What had it said before? Starting to fade. Starting to forget…
“Wei Ying! The ashes!”
With a quick nod, Wei Ying grabbed the pouch from his hip and opened it, gently but quickly dumping the ashes on the ground before them.
The Yao stopped.
It no longer screamed. It’s anger seemed to vanish.
And their eyes. The fuzzy white turned to a dazzling blue, staring and staring.
The Yao could not take their eyes off the ashes on the ground.
The Spirit slowly stepped forward, and Wei Ying and Lan Wangji stepped back, giving it room.
The Fox Spirit laid its head down, just before the ashes, and made a soft whimpering noise.
My beloved. I failed you. I am so sorry.
Lan Wangji closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and bowed deeply. “No. You did nothing wrong. The fault is mine.”
When he looked back up, the Spirit stared at him.
I forgot her. How could I…
“It’s not your fault,” Wei Ying said. “Your mate was taken from you.”
They burned her.
The anguish in the Yao’s voice was almost too much to bear. “The village has been dealt with,” Lan Wangji said. “Without the ashes, the land dried out once more. The ones left will stay behind and suffer or move on.”
The Spirit stared down at the ashes. She would have helped them. If only they had asked.
Lan Wangji hung his head in shame. Shame for those people who killed that innocent creature for their own benefit.
And shame for himself. For assuming the worst from this Yao.
He has failed as a cultivator.
“I’m sorry,” Lan Wangji said.
The Yao looked at him.
She loved humans. She would be disappointed in the things I have done.
“No,” Wei Ying said, his voice harsh. “You only killed the ones who hurt her. They deserved it.”
Lan Wangji took Wei Ying’s hand in his. His husband looked at him, his face tight with anger.
“There must be consequences for one’s actions,” Lan Wangji said with a nod. Hurting an innocent for their own gain. The universe gave them what they deserved.
Wei Ying’s face relaxed at that, a tiny smile on his lips.
Maybe, the Yao said. You brought her back to me. Thank you.
“I do not deserve your thanks. We have only done what we could to make it right,” Lan Wangji said. “I’m sorry about your beloved. And for hurting you.”
I was angry when we last fought. I turned that anger upon you, and I am sorry for that.
Lan Wangji shook his head. The Yao was cornered and beaten and distraught. The curse they inflicted Lan Wangji with made sense.
“It is understandable,” he said to the Spirit.
The Yao looked at him, then to Wei Ying. He turned his head back to Lan Wangji.
I cannot undo what I have done.
Lan Wangji inhaled slowly, holding onto Wei Ying’s hand tightly. Wei Ying gripped his hand all the same.
“I understand.” This was his fault. He was too rash. Didn’t ask enough questions. And in doing so, allowed a village to murder a Yao, while Lan Wangji almost ended its mate. He would live with the consequences.
He only wished Wei Ying would not have to suffer, too.
“Lan Zhan.”
Wei Ying’s voice was so soft, and when Lan Wangji turned to him, his eyes were teary.
It broke his heart to see him like this.
“What’s going to happen to us?” he whispered, looking at their joined hands. Holding on so tightly, like Lan Wangji would let go.
And Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji loved him so much.
He smiled, and lifted his free hand to Wei Ying’s chin, raising his face to meet his.
Wei Ying’s eyes widened when he saw the smile on his face.
“Nothing,” Lan Wangji said. Wei Ying opened his mouth, but Lan Wangji continued. “You are my husband. And I love you. Nothing has changed.”
Wei Ying huffed. “Lan Zhan! Everything has changed!” he said, but his tone was overly dramatic, and his lips were forming a cute pout, and Lan Wangji knew he already won this argument.
He laughed softly.
A full on pout found its way onto Wei Ying’s face. “Lan Zhan! I am distressed! Your poor husband is very upset!”
He hummed. “I can see that. I will make it up to you.”
Wei Ying sighed, a little laugh in his voice.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, cupping his cheek. “I will make it up to you,” he repeated. Wei Ying stared at him, his eyes glassy. “If you will allow me.”
He swallowed. Then breathed a shaky laugh. “I’d like that.”
Lan Wangji hugged him close, and his husband clung to him just as desperately.
When he pulled back, Lan Wangji smiled. “We will make new memories.”
Wei Ying grinned. “I can’t wait.”
Wei Ying turned then, to the Yao, who Lan Wangji shamelessly forgot was there for a moment, and bowed. Lan Wangji followed suit.
“We’re sorry for the pain you’ve both been through. And for the pain we contributed,” Wei Ying said.
“We hope your next life will be free of sorrow,” Lan Wangji added.
The Yao nodded their head slowly.
I feel my mated one calling to me. They are free now, because of you. We will find one another again. Thank you.
“I’m glad,” Wei Ying said, a sad smile on his face.
The Fox Spirit turned to Lan Wangji.
Although I cannot undo my curse, your memories can be recovered.
They both startled at that.
“Really?” Wei Ying asked.
They nodded to Wei Ying, and turned to Lan Wangji once more.
If you remain by his side, your memories will return in time.
Lan Wangji smiled, squeezing Wei Ying’s hand. “Simple, then.”
Wei Ying laughed. “Looks like you're stuck with me, Lan Zhan.”
He smiled. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Thank you,” he said to the spirit.
Treasure one another. You never know how long you have.
They both nodded, but the Yao’s eyes were closed, its head facing toward the sky. It was disappearing. Moving on.
Going to find their mated one.
Lan Wangji and Wei Ying bowed once more.
And with a gust of wind, the Yao vanished, along with their loved one’s ashes, reentering the cycle of reincarnation to find one another once again.
Lan Wangji prayed the next life would be kind to them.
Over the next year, Lan Wangji got to know his husband.
His faults, his weaknesses, his strengths, his doubts, his sureties. He learned his mannerisms.
The way he takes his tea. The way he likes his food. He wasn’t kidding when he spoke of all the hot foods he enjoyed at dinner on their first night. The spicier the better.
How he acts like a child when he doesn’t get his way. How he quiets when he’s upset.
How soft he is in the mornings, when he begs Lan Wangj to stay in bed just a few more minutes.
How his little happy sigh sounds everytime Lan Wangji gives in.
How complicated his relationship is with his brother, but how he would do anything for him.
And how Jiang Wanyin would do anything for him, too.
How emotional he gets. Over A Yuan when he goes out on Night Hunts on his own. Over Lan Xichen, when he finally comes out of seclusion. Over Wen Ning, when he comes to visit. Over the bunnies.
And how much he loves his husband.
And Lan Wangji loves him in return.
And then, one morning, he remembered.
Remembered their entire lives together. The first time he saw him. Their fight on the roof. The rule breaking and anger he felt when he didn’t understand why this unruly boy was making Lan Wangji feel this way. The ups and downs. The hardships and stolen happy moments. The arguments and anguish and loss and suffering. The failures. Finding each other again. The smiles and soft touches. The fear of losing one another again. Learning to forgive and live. To let his feelings be known. To be known.
Their marriage. Their happiness.
To love and be loved in return.
Lan Wangji sighed contently, his husband laying on his chest with a small smile, his eyes blinking open and close and open again slowly.
“Five more minutes, Lan Zhan,” he whined softly.
“Wei Ying,” he said, just as softly. His husband whined again, snuggling closer. Lan Wangji smiled. “Thank you. For coming back to me.”
Wei Ying gasped lightly, now impressively wide awake, his big eyes staring at him. Lan Wangji smiled again.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, a soft smile on his lips and tears in his eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, Wei Ying,” he said, tears in his own eyes. He hugged his husband close to him.
They would take longer than five minutes this morning. They had time.
Time for whispered apologies and hushed forgivenesses. Time for sweet kisses and tears and thanks.
Time for welcome love.
But, Lan Wangji already knew. He did not need his returned memories to know.
Because he’s always known how it feels, to love your husband.