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We were in flames. Again. I could almost hear fintans cruel laugh as he leaped away. The neverseen Crystal he and Ruy used was still here somewhere but it would have to wait. I turned to the flames again. And that’s when they hit.
Flashbacks of Oblivimyre, San Diego, Verdi and I in the Everblaze and pain. So, so much pain. Old burns reawakened and I screamed, unable to stop myself from returning to that place. Black obscured my vision and my panic flared higher. The tiny coherent part of my brain was thankful that I refused to let Dex come with us. The harsh memory of burns climbing my arms felt like new even though Mr Forkle had done so much to repair them. For all I knew, they could be real and I could have been engulfed by the roaring orange fire. Another scream fell from my lips and I thrashed, trying to rid myself of bonds that hadn’t touched me for months.
A soft, blue breeze streaked across my consciousness but it wasn’t enough. The shade of blue was almost exactly the same as Fintan’s trademark, balefire and it only racked by body with more panic, pain and fear. More blue breezes ran across my mind, this time tempered with green and building to a gale pulling me together. It wasn’t a destructive hurricane, but a mending one, pulling me together and finally clearing my vision from the blackbees. My frantic screams eased as did my trashing although I still trembled fiercely, fighting to keep the monster inside at bay. I cursed myself for letting Flori stay at home before remembering that Grady and Edaline would be left unprotected should she have left.
Tears ran through my eyelashes, coming thick and fast as the monster replayed more terrifying scenes from my past. Eternalia falling, Oblivimyre again but this time when we found Kenric missing, Oralie, Forkle’s death and Keefe running away. That’s what hurt most.
‘He left you’ the voice in my head whispered ‘He left you and didn’t care that you nearly shattered. He only pretends to care to take advantage of you.’
More sobs shuddered through me and the teal breezes could only do so much. Everything was a blur, but why could I not feel rough, painful asphalt beneath me? Now I was a little more focussed, my head began to clear and I could hear something. A name. My name.
‘Foster. Foster. FOSTER. FOSTER. FOSTER PLEASE. PLEASE SOPHIE. Sophie snap out of it, please. SOPHIE! FOSTER! LADY FOS-BOSS! Foster come on, wake up!’
I could feel shaking hands now, holding me. One on my back, one clutching my ungloved hand. At last, my eyes cleared properly and I could see. Keefe leaned over me, worry and fear distorting his features as he cradled me. He somehow still managed to look amazing, even while terrified and panicked.
‘Keefe?’ I whispered hoarsely.
‘Sophie. Thank the stars. I thought-‘ his voice broke. ‘I thought I lost you again.’ He sounded so scared and almost heartbroken. ‘Never mind. I knew it was a mistake letting you come here with- with him. Come on, I’m taking you back to Havenfield.’ Keefe sounded angry now. Protective. He started to pull me properly into his arms, as if he knew I was too weak to support myself.
‘No. Keefe, stop. I’m not going back home yet. I have to help. There could be humans here, I have to save them. The never seen don’t get to kill people just because I can’t handle a bit of fire like a weak little girl.’ I protested weakly but the determination in my words was there.
Keefe’s jaw locked. ‘You are in no shape to go rushing around saving people. Now, I don’t know what just happened but I do know that it was their fault. I didn’t know whether you would snap out of it, Sophie! You were thrashing around with your eyes wide open and screaming. It was all I could do to keep you from falling and hurting yourself more. And don’t say that you’re fine. I’m an empath, remember. I can feel everything you’re feeling right now and there were a few minutes where I didn’t know whether the panic and guilt would consume you. Let me help you for once. I’m trying to keep you safe and NOT SHATTERED’ he shouted the last words and I could see the regret in his eyes as I flinched.
‘They don’t get to control me, Keefe. I can take care of my own sanity. I know my limits.’ I was stronger now, the breezes he was still sending me helped too. He was right though, I was still shaking badly and I likely needed medical attention based on the pain I could feel blossoming in my arm and head. Either way, pain or no pain, I was still conscious so I was still able to help in some way.
‘Foster, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’ve been working yourself to the ground these past few weeks and I can tell you haven’t been sleeping either.’ He was right, of course. The nightmares had been unbearable and anytime I tried to sleep they always woke me within the hour. My dark circles definitely were in a league of their own despite the makeup I had been applying to cover them and not worry anybody. Keefe could always tell.
‘And the way you just looked away from me confirms it. Sophie, please, you need to rest. You need Elwin. I’m guessing you’ve been avoiding him so that he wouldn’t notice how little you’ve been sleeping? I know it’s hard but please, you have to take care of yourself before you can save everyone else. And before you say anything, Marella is trying to contain the flames now and Fitz hailed Alden. He should be here any second with quicksnuff and frissyn. The humans will be safe. You need Elwin’ he repeated. I hadn’t noticed before but fear was laced through his words. Keefe was scared. But for what? And then it clicked. He was scared of losing me. That made me feel even worse, I hated people worrying because of me.
I hid behind my hair, embarrassed.
‘No. I have to stay, make sure that we didn’t miss anything. I’m not letting innocent humans be in danger because of me. And I thought you would understand, Keefe, I can’t let them control me like this! I can’t be just a defenceless little moonlark who collapses every time she sees fire.’ I replied, aware of how insufferably stubborn I was being.
Keefe sighed mixed with an annoyed growl in the back of his throat. He did know, though. So he helped me back up to my feet and held me close, tenderly kissing my forehead. ‘I’m taking you straight to the healing centre after this, my stubborn Lady Fos-Boss.’
This time, I sighed ‘Fine, Lord Hunkyhair.’
Keefe cracked a smile at that. It was small, but enough. Strength suddenly coursed through me and my knees buckled slightly. Keefe curled his arm around my waist and looked around to see who was responsible.
‘Don’t worry, it’s just Fitz. He’s sending me a bit of energy.’ I said to calm him.
Keefe nodded.
I heard running footfalls behind me and I turned, throwing stars already in hand, half expecting to find another member of the never seen or a rouge ogre.
Fitz smirked as he slowed to stand by us.
‘Did I miss the Sokeefe snuggle fest?’ He teased.
It relaxed me to see him joke about me and Keefe.
‘Aww, do you feel left out Fitzy? Come here, I’ll give you a cuddle,’ Keefe replied, leaning towards him but not letting go of my hand.
Fitz laughed and took a step back ‘Noo way loverboy! Dad will be here in a minute, he’s trying to find a crystal where we are. Sophie, I’m guessing you have quicksnuff?’
I handed him the cube that I’d forced Dex to make me after our last disastrous training session. Thank goodness for Sandor’s quick thinking.
Fitz’s smile faded as he noticed something on my arm. ‘Uhh, what happened?’ He said, gesturing to my right arm.
‘What do you mea-‘ I glanced over at my arm and saw a bruise the size of my face covering my forearm. ‘Whoa. Keefe, I think I get why you were freaking out now.’
Fitz scrunched his brow ‘Why was Keefe freaking out? He never freaks out?’
Keefe raised his eyebrows and glanced quickly at me.
‘Oh. I’ll ask later.’ Fitz mumbled. ‘Anyway, Marella is trying her best but the fire won’t obey her and she doesn’t know why.’
I cursed. ‘Of COURSE he thought of everything. Ughh! Fitz, throw the cube, would you?’
He nodded and hurled the box right into the middle of the inferno.
Powder exploded everywhere and a disgruntled screech sounded from the flames.
All three of us winced as Marella shouted ‘YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME IDIOTS!’
‘Sorry!’ I called back. It wasn’t all bad though, the raging flames were finally calming.
‘Thank god the quicksnuff worked’ I whispered, leaning against Keefe.
‘And now, we are going to Elwin.’ He said, gently pulling me closer and planting a kiss on my forehead.
‘Ughh fiiiiiine’ I groaned, but I didn’t move this time.