Chapter Text
Tally ran out of the Bellweather estate; she had spotted the retreating figure of the General and her heart had fluttered with relief, and a little anger, at the confirmation that Alder was alive and had not told her. "Heard you were here."
Alder turned to face Tally, a warm smile on her face. "You didn't really think you'd seen the last of me, did you?"
"And you're not staying for the wedding, why does that not surprise me?" Tally laughed humorlessly.
"Weddings…" Alder said as if that explained everything. "And my work isn't done, a piece of the song still remains to be found."
"Where are you heading?"
"Africa, I'm tracking the Obsidian line."
"Do you think there's a chance that things have changed, that we won't need the song?" Tally asked, hopefully.
"I think there's always a chance. But that's a risk I'm not willing to take."
"I'm coming with you." Tally decided, not wanting Sarah to undertake the mission alone.
"No." Alder said, firmly.
"Because I don't have my sight?" Tally affronted.
"Because you have a much greater part to play now and I can't risk your safety." Alder gently replied
"So what would you have me do in the meantime?"
"Celebrate your loved ones while you can, all of this might change very soon."
Alder turned and started to walk away from her and Tally felt it like a physical pain in her chest. She couldn't watch Alder walk away from her again. She had to risk it, even if she could be rejected and left heart broken again.
"And what if my loved ones aren't here to celebrate?"
Alder paused, turned back and walked back to Tally. She placed a hand gently on her cheek, stroking her thumb backwards and forwards against soft skin. "Those we've lost are never truly gone. They are always with you."
Tally realised that Sarah still wasn't getting it. After everything they had been through, she was still blind to what was right in front of her.
"And what if my love isn't lost? What if my love is leaving me behind… to go to Africa?" Tally blushed, subtly, and she really hoped that Sarah got it this time. She didn't have the ability to just say it outright.
Sarah's thumb paused in its motion; her eyes widened but her face remained mostly blank, the same way it did when she was hiding her emotions. When she didn't immediately retreat Tally allowed herself to act braver than she truly was.
"What if I want to go with them to Africa, not because I want to look for a song but because I don't want to be without them? What if offering myself to become their Biddy was less to do with honor or duty and more about not being able to face a world without them in it? What if I can't bear to watch the woman I love walk away from me again?"
That was all Tally was able to say, she had used up all her fake confidence and now her fate, and her heart, were firmly placed in Sarah Alder's hand, the hand that was suddenly retracted from her cheek.
Alder took up the position that Tally had seen so many times before, the picture perfect general who lets things fall off her like water off a duck's back. Arms clasped behind her, back ramrod straight and a blank but harsh look on her angular features.
"Craven, it is not appropriate to say such things to me." She said, voice devoid of emotion, but Tally could see, or maybe feel through their remaining link, that it took great effort to portray this air of uncaring.
Tally saw red.
"And why can't I say such things? You are no longer my superior, you are no longer even in the military. So please, explain to me why I can't express my feelings when I've been keeping them inside for years? When I have already had to deal with you dying twice , deal with the grief and know how it affected me. When the last time you sent me away I thought saw you get crushed by a wall of ice. So, no, Alder I will not agree with your classification of this as inappropriate. If you don't love me too then have the guts to tell me that to my face. But don't pull the uncaring general act because we both know that you do care for me; whether romantically or not, you do. So stop being a coward and just tell me where I stand!"
Tally was prepared for many things in that moment; for a sharp reprimand and denial of feelings, for Sarah to simply walk away from her, she dared not hope for Sarah to admit her feelings but it would have surprised her less than this.
Alder's reaction to Tally's words was to crash her lips against Tally's, to fist a hand in red locks and another possessively on Tally's hip. She kissed Tally like it was physically painful if she didn't, like she needed Tally more than she needed oxygen, like Tally was the only person in the world that mattered.
After a moment of surprise, Tally melted into the kiss, sighing as she thought 'Finally', bringing her own hands up to grip firmly at Alders jacket, pulling her more firmly against her.
Alder pulled back quickly. "I do love you Tally, I think I always have. I just… I never thought you could love me too." Tally saw in her blue eyes the first ever trace of vulnerability. It had never once been present, not even on that dark day when Tally had cut her cheek with her scourge, but now… now it was shining in her piercing blue eyes.
"You never thought I could love you? You, the great Sarah Alder. The woman who showed me how to be brave, the woman who drove me to distraction with her beauty, strength, intelligence. The woman who with the right seed could bring the world to her feet, Sarah…" She paused, realizing that she had used her first name but when she found she liked the way it felt, she said it again. "Sarah, I couldn't help but love you. I loved you before I was your biddy, I loved you during and I love you after. I've… I've been single since shortly before I graduated basic because I realized it was you that I wanted to be with, no one else has even come close. What you should be saying is how could you fall for me, a soldier barely starting war college who didn't even make it in there without your personal recommendation…"
Throughout this speech, Sarah's face rushed through a series of emotions, but when Tally started to talk badly about herself her face turned dark and a little embarrassed.
"Tally, the only reason you didn't make it to war college in the first place was because of me, I blocked you. You gave information to Petra that nearly lost me my position, I couldn't reward you for that. Ironic as it ended up losing me my position anyway but… none of that really matters. Tally, I do not care that you’re young, I am over 300 years old, everyone is young to me. You got my personal recommendation because you deserved it. Goddess, Tally you don't see it do you? You are beautiful, clever and powerful more than you know. You are selfless and righteous, strong and like a goddamned ball of sunshine. I couldn't help but fall for you Tally."
They both pulled in for another kiss just as Abi called Tally via farspeach. " Craven, get your but up here and get dressed. I can't be late to my own wedding ."
Tally sighed but responded, teasingly. " Ok I'm on my way bridezilla. " She rested her head in the crook of Sarah's neck.
"I've got to go and help the brides, but please stay? Please, we need to talk about this and not just for five minutes before I rush off to a wedding and you rush off to Africa."
Sarah wrapped her arms around the young witch. "I'll stay. Thank the goddess your unit will be distracted later as I will not be sharing your time once the wedding is over."
Tally smiled against her neck. "The undivided attention of the great Sarah Alder… it's enough to make a girl swoon."
Sarah rested her cheek against Tally's hair, bringing her lips to her ear. "I hope we will discover many ways to make you swoon, Tally Craven. Now go and find your unit, Soldier."
Tally was flushed pink and said a silent prayer to the Goddess that this had happened today, as her unit would be fully distracted and Tally would get Alder all to herself. She used the last of her courage to stand straight. "Of course, General. I wouldn't want to disobey your orders now would I? You never know how one might be…reprimanded."
Before she could see Alder's reaction she scarpered, rushing inside quickly. Unfortunately, she was a witch and Alder appeared in her head. " Anyone would think you wanted to be reprimanded when you say it like that, Craven. Is that why you were always causing me trouble? Hoping I would bend you over my desk and reprimand you? "
Tally kept rushing up to the room to help her unit get changed but she did pause outside the door long enough to send back. " I guess you'll just have to find that out for yourself, won't you, General ?"
She then headed into the room, giving her sisters a wide smile.
"Right, who needs what?" She said as she surveyed the room.
Abi was halfway into her dress, helped by her mother, but she paused when she saw Tally.
"Tally…. You're glowing… Why are you so happy?"
The redhead blushed. "We can discuss this later, when we're not rushing to get you ready for your wedding." Then gave a look to Petra and back to Abi, hoping that the silent 'when your mother isn't here' would be clear.
"Yeah leave her alone, Abs, I'm sure she'll tell us later." Raelle said over her shoulder as she finished her hair in front of the vanity.
"What do you guys need me to do?" Tally asked, hoping to get the attention off of her.
Petra finished fastening the buttons to Abigail's dress, then looked over at Tally. "I think we're mostly good here, although if you could check in on Scylla, she's alone, she's getting ready nextdoor. Then Adil is across the other side of the estate, but he has Gregorio with him."
"Of course! I'll pop over now. I'll stay with her till the ceremony, if that is ok? Just knock if you need me."
Petra smiled at her. "We'll be fine, won't we ladies?" Rae and Abi nodded. "If we need you we will come get you."
As Tally headed for the door Raelle grasped her hand. "Thanks for looking after Scyl."
Tally smiled back and added softly. "She's my sister too. I'll see you out there."
The ceremony was beautiful, all three brides looked radiant and Adil looked dashing in his gray suit. Tally had, of course, shed happy tears for her sisters. She couldn't help but to feel Sarah's eyes on her the whole time; she knew Alder had sat herself right at the back of the room even without looking for her. She could feel their bond reforming since their kiss.
She could feel Alder's approval of the matches, a hint of wariness when she spotted Nicte but, overwhelming it all, was her love for Tally. It was a heady feeling. Knowing Sarah Adler loved her was staggering, feeling that love was earth shattering.
Tally found herself almost wishing the ceremony would speed up and if it had been anyone other than her sisters she would have sent a prayer asking as much to the Goddess but it was her sisters and so she was content to watch them cement their love.
The two couples shared their first kisses as newlyweds and they were all quickly whisked out into the garden.
Throughout the evening Tally talked and danced with her coven, friends from school and she even took a turn around the floor with both Petra and Anacostia. She wished Alder would dance with her but alas it appeared that Sarah would remain at the edge of the party all night.
Not that the ex-general had been alone, far from it. She had spoken with the president, the high ranking officers, and even shared a civil word with Petra but she didn't once step towards the dance floor or towards Tally.
As evening drew in couples started to disappear; the good thing about being a witch was that, as sex gave magic a power up, everyone was fairly broad-minded when it came to sex and hooking up.
This meant that no one batted an eye when new couples sprang up around the room and, set by set, left the garden.
The two married couples left to a bit more fanfare, with everyone raising a glass to the couples and uttering the familiar prayer to the Goddess to bless their union.
Once her unit was successfully distracted by one another, Alder caught Tally's eye and jerked her head in the direction of the main corridor. She nodded and waited a few moments before following Alder down the corridor.
All of the attendees had been given rooms within the estate and Tally had never been more grateful that she didn't have to have an awkward ride back to a hotel.
She caught up with Sarah in the main entrance hall.
"Hello, Tally Craven." Sarah said from her position at the bottom of the stairs.
Tally managed to speak out a "Hi" before her cheeks flamed red with a blush.
"Are you heading to bed, so soon?" She asked politely. Tally's brow furrowed until she spotted Minerva Bellweather walking down the corridor towards the front door.
"I am er… yes, I am." Tally added, hopefully quickly enough to not raise suspicion.
"Would you allow me to walk with you?" Tally wondered how she could sound so calm right now, Minerva was nearly out of earshot though so she only had to keep it up for a few more moments.
"That would be lovely." She managed, her voice had a definite tremor to it but it was still more even than she had expected.
"Lead the way then."
The two began to walk up the stairs, keeping an appropriate distance between them on the way up. They got to the top of the stairs and Sarah looked to Tally for directions.
"Oh, it's er… it's this way." She headed down the right hand corridor towards her room.
"Don't look so nervous, Craven, we can just talk."
Tally nodded her head, unsure if she could keep her voice calm enough to not embarrass herself.
Alder pulled them to a stop, taking Tally's face between her hands.
"Tally, we can do this another time. If you don't want to have this conversation today then we can raincheck."
Tally smiled at the tenderness being offered to her.
"No, I want to…I need to have this conversation. It's just, well it's a lot. I'm just nervous I'll say something stupid and you'll leave." She bit her lip and looked away, she couldn't stand to see the emotions swirling in those deep blue eyes that seemed to pierce right through to her heart.
"Tally, look at me." She tilted Tally's chin up towards her, not speaking further until Tally finally brought her eyes up to meet hers, brown eyes wide with worry.
"Do you really think after fueling a coup, striking me and then forcing me to nearly kill you that there is anything you could say to make me leave now? The only thing that could make me leave is you telling me to go and even then I would probably fight you on it."
Tally gave a weak chuckle. "Okay. My room is just down here."
"Good girl."
Alder placed a kiss on Tally's forehead before standing back and continuing down the corridor.
“Erm… this is me.” Tally said as she pulled to a stop in front of one of the doors. She opened the door and stepped through, keeping the door open for Sarah to follow in after her. Once Sarah was inside, Tally closed the door behind them.
“Lock it.” Sarah said
“What?” Tally squeaked.
“Lock it. I know you love your sisters but they are terrible at boundaries and I don’t want them barging in on us while we’re trying to have this conversation.” She explained.
“Oh… oh yeah.”
Tally clicked the lock and walked further into the room. Being in the Bellweather estate, the room was large… very large, there was a queen sized bed, a dressing table, and a lounge area with a coffee table and two large arm chairs. Sarah had placed herself in one of said armchairs so Tally took the hint and set herself in the other.
Sarah reached across the space between the chairs and took Tally’s hand in hers.
“How long?”
“I’m not really sure. I was already in love with you by the time I offered myself as a Biddy; I couldn’t bear to live in a world without you. I decided I would rather have just a few years but by your side everyday, than to live till I was old without you.” Tally was looking at the floor, scared even now that Sarah would hear something she didn’t like and leave.
“So just before me then. I think I've been in love with you since the first time you stormed into my office demanding answers about Nicte. You were so fiery and headstrong, I was so angry at you for not just listening to me and leaving it well alone but I was also proud of you for always seeking the truth.” Sarah admitted, her words efficient in a day that Tally would never manage. And yet the emotion was clear in Sarah’s voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tally asked.
Sarah countered. “Why didn't you?”
Tally just shrugged her shoulders clearly not willing to go first.
“Because Tally, I was your commanding officer. We already had a bond that I was trying to break for your sake and I didnt want to make that harder by admitting things to you that I never expected you could reciprocate.” Sarah began to gently stroke Tally’s hand with her thumb in a soothing manner. “One of the hardest things I ever did was fight you that day, I hurt you and I couldn’t bear it, that hurt more than losing my position. It hurt more than Ana’s betrayal."
The words rushed out of Tally now. “I’m so sorry, Sarah. I wish I could take it back, I just wanted the truth and I thought that everyone deserved to know; that those witches deserved to be remembered by history in the right way. I didn’t realize what it would mean for you. I didn’t even really care about saving Nicte, I just wanted the truth out in the open… and then you died.” She stopped short.
“But I came back. I seem to always come back somehow.” Sarah smiled, trying to pull Tally back from the dark shadow of past grief that had crossed her usually bright features.
“But I didn’t know that. I mourned you, Sarah, I was inconsolable for days, nearly catatonic. Everyone thought it was an effect of the Biddy bond, the last remnants pulling at me but it wasn’t. It was that I was in a world without you and it felt like I would never love again. The world lost its color and nothing I did made it better.” Tally curled herself up in the chair as best she could. Trying almost to physically hold herself together. “
Then we were on the run, cut off from everything and everyone we had ever known. They were watching our families, of course, so we were truly on our own and then… there you were and I thought I was dreaming or I had finally gone mad. But I felt like I could breathe again. We were still on the run, still cut off from everyone but I had hope; you were alive and the Mother had a plan. Then I lost you again. You sacrificed yourself in the cave. Why did you do it? I know you said it was because I was a Steward of the First Song but… so are you.” There were tears prickling in Tally’s eyes now, she had underestimated how difficult this conversation would be for her.
Sarah looked at Tally and explained as plainly and openly as she could. “Tally, you had survived my dying before, I had never experienced a world in which Tally Craven no longer existed. I knew you would survive, you had your sisters… I didn’t think I would survive, trying to withstand my own emotions after over 300 years of Biddies has been hard enough. Your death would have been too much. It was both the most and least selfish thing I have ever done.”
Sarah went quiet for a moment, when she looked back up at Tally her eyes were glassy. “After that, when Kalida found me, I didn't know how to approach you again, I didn’t want to just walk back into your life a second time.”
“So you waited until my friend's wedding, turned up with Kalida and then you were just going to leave without saying hello?” Tally asked, her eyebrows raised that high they nearly blended with her hairline.
Sarah looked away now, ashamed. “I was a coward, I didn’t want to face the hurt I knew you must have felt, that I had chosen to place on your shoulders. I saw it in your eyes as that ice fell, I saw how much it broke you and I was scared to face you again.”
“Okay so we can agree, neither of us wants to live without the other?” Tally asked, trying to pull them away from the pain and towards something happier.
“Yes, Tally, we can agree on that.”
“So please take me to Africa with you. I know you can transport me through the mycelium, you know I can handle my own in the field… So why?”
Sarah sighed, a long breath that when released seemed to take all of the fight out of her body; her muscles relaxing in defeat. “Because I couldn’t bear to be with you every day, for who knows how long, when I thought you couldn’t love me too.”
Tally once more placed her feet on the floor, leaning forward to get as close as she could to the one she loved most. “Sarah, how could I not love you? We’ve both done some stupid stuff, made bad choices and things we would rather take back but I have loved you through it all. Even when you were going to kill me, the last thing I thought was ‘At least the last thing I will feel is her’.” Tally explained earnestly.
Sarah was quiet for a long time, her brain swirling as she pondered how much to admit to the young witch. Just as Tally was about to ask her what was wrong, Sarah began to speak. “I wouldn’t have killed you, I couldn’t if I tried. I don’t know what I was going to do honestly but I wouldn’t have killed you, never that. I’d have broken the right of proxy and killed Nicte anyway before I killed you in her stead.”
Tally took a moment to absorb Sarah’s words but knew she was at her emotional limit, if there was anything left to be said then it would have to be spoken about another day. “So…. will you take me to Africa?” She asked cheekily, subtly changing the topic away from the deep emotions.
“I would love nothing more than to take you to Africa with me, Tally. With you by my side things seem less bleak, you are my sunshine when the world looks black.” She admitted, smiling brighter now that they had changed topics slightly. “Are your sisters going on a honeymoon?”
“They are. For a week, so we’ve got plenty of time to find what we need to while they’re away.”
“Good, good.” She nodded. “Tally?”
“Yes?”
Sarah blushed slightly but set her shoulders and looked at Tally with such love that it nearly overwhelmed the young witch. “Please can I hold you?”
Tally smiled widely. “I thought you’d never ask.”
The redhead stood and expected Sarah to do the same. When she didn’t she gave her a querying look. Sarah blushed deeper and used their joined hands to pull Tally down onto her knee. Tally ended up sitting sideways across Alder’s knee, head resting on Sarah’s shoulder and knees curled up into a ball, Sarah wrapped her arms around the knower and they both just sat for a few minutes relishing in the feeling of being in each other's arms.
“This is all I have ever wanted.” Tally whispered reverently.
“Hmm it’s not quite everything that I have wanted.” Sarah responded and Tally’s heart dropped momentarily until Sarah tilted her face towards her and placed a featherlight kiss against her lips.
She pulled back and when she was sure that Tally didn’t have second thoughts, she leaned back in and pressed a second, firmer, kiss to Tally’s lips. Tally decided at that moment that being kissed by Alder was her favorite thing in the world.