Of Sun and Daffodils

by Anonymous

Summary:

Felix has spent his entire life in the forest, away from the villages, away from people, sheltered beneath the gentle shade of the trees.

The disappearance of his uncle changed everything, though. Despite the fear thrumming in his veins, he sets out to seek his uncle; out and away from the forest’s protective embrace.

Perhaps he will reunite with his uncle, safe and unharmed, and they will both return home, together.

Or perhaps, as the fates would have it, he will encounter the individuals he was never meant to meet: his soulmates.

 

or: Felix tries to find his missing uncle, all the while avoiding the soulmates the fates have destined for him. He fails miserably on both fronts.

 

in short: A Stray Kids OT8 Soulmate AU with a lot of pining and too much plot

Notes:

To those who wander, to those who are lost
The moon sings and the mountains whisper
If you listen close enough.

Chapter 1: The Fledging’s First Flight

Deep inside the forest, there lived a young man and a magician. The young man had lost his family when he was but a child. The magician took him in as his own, and they have been living together, just the two of them.

The magician possessed a remarkable talent, and it became his livelihood to help the townspeople with all kinds of potions and spells. The nearest town was a five-day walk from their little house, and each time the magician left, he was away for a week or two, leaving the young man alone.

During these times, the young man found himself immersed in the tranquility of the forest, surrounded by the murmur of trees and the gentle caress of nature.

It was no different this time.

“Felix,” The magician called.

The young man looked up from the book he was reading. “Yes, Uncle?”

“I’ll be going to the village tomorrow morning,” he announced. “I’ll be back in two weeks. Do you have everything you need?”

Closing his book, the young man straightened. “I do. We still have some fishes that would be enough for a few days, and I just harvested the some crops a few days ago.”

The magician smiled at that. “Good. Do you want me to bring you anything?”

Felix hesitated for a moment, “Some books maybe, Uncle?” he asked, sounding hopeful—eyes darting around the room sheepishly—he hated asking his uncle for stuff because he always felt like a burden. “I’ve finished reading the ones you brought last time.”

“Of course,” His uncle replied easily.

As the afternoon waned, the fireplace crackled, casting enchanting shadows upon the walls. The boy and The magician settled into a conversation about their day. Felix started telling his uncle all about the new cave he’d discovered when he was exploring the forest that morning, saying that he was planning to explore it soon. The magician listened fondly, saying something here and there as a response to Felix’s chatter.

That was a little over a month ago.

The magician—his uncle—never returned, and Felix was left confused and scared, because this has never happened before. Sure, once in a while, he would take longer than two weeks to return, but it was always planned and Felix would always be informed of his expected return.

He could feel the knots of anxiety twisting in his chest, growing tighter with each passing day.

“I think I need to go look for him,” Felix finally said one day. In front of him, a wild fox he called Seung watched him curiously. “I’m going to Duskwood.”

Duskwood was the closest village, and it’s where his uncle went to work at most of the time. Sometimes he goes further away, which takes longer, but those occurrences were rare. And his uncle always told him if he was going to a different village.

Seung simply tilted his head, as if asking, are you sure?

“I need to. Something must’ve gone wrong. What if there was an accident? What if he's gotten ill?” Countless possibilities swirled in his mind, each one more distressing than the last. Felix stood up as he paced back and forth. “He’s never late. Something must have happened. I need to find him.”

With that, Felix rushed into their home. He packed his stuff hastily, throwing the things he thought he’d need into his backpack. Seung followed him and watched as his human friend darted around the house.

When he was done and his bag was filled to the brim, he took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.

His heart was beating out of his chest. He couldn’t deny that he was afraid—he was terrified—at the prospect of going to the village.

He had never gone to the village his whole life. He never ventured outside the forest his whole life.

What if they won’t let him into the village? What if they won’t even let him ask his question before kicking him back to the forest?

His spiraling thoughts were stopped when Seung rubbed its head on his leg.

Felix swallowed. “Thanks, Seungie,” he said softly before he crouched to pat its head. “I’m going to look for Uncle in the village. I’ll be back in a week… or two. I’ll be back as soon as I found him and as soon as he’s able to make the trip back, if he’s injured or sick we might need to wait, but…” he trailed off.

He almost yelped when Seung jumped and climbed his body to settle on his backpack, something he does a lot whenever Felix asks if he wanted to come explore the forest with him.

“You’re coming with me?” Felix asked, voice wavering a little as he knew how much his friend hated humans. Heck, he wouldn’t even get close whenever his uncle was around, growling whenever the magician approached Felix when he was watering the plants with Seung sitting nearby.

He growled at Felix the first time they met, as well, but the fox would curiously follow him in a distance, or watch him when he was tending to his plants. A few weeks later he was already letting Felix pat his head.

“Thank you,” Felix said softly.

He was still terrified, but he felt a little relieved, knowing that he wouldn’t be alone on his journey. Seung might leave him once they were out of the forest, but even then he was more than grateful that it wanted to come with him that far.

With that, he took another deep breath and made his way out, locking the door behind him. Bracing himself, the young man took his first step and started making his way to Duskwood.

 

---

 

As expected, the journey to Duskwood took him five whole days, and when he arrived the day was getting darker although the sun hasn’t fully set.

He hadn’t gone into the village just yet, finding himself glued to the ground a good distance away, staring at the village for the first time in his life.

The sight of the village, teeming with life, with people he'd never met, was both exciting and overwhelming to him.

Seung sat beside him patiently with its ears perked up, sensing the nervous energy emanating from its human friend. It was mirroring Felix's own unease, as if it, too, understood the weight of the situation.

“I’ve got this,” Felix muttered to himself as he clenched his fists, his hands were shaking and he didn’t like it. Sure, he knew he was terrified of meeting the people, but he didn’t think that seeing the village for the first time would be this daunting. “I’ve got this. I’ve got this…” He repeated. Do I, though? His mind asked.

Doubt gnawed at the edges of his resolve, feeding him a dozen of horrible what ifs.

With a frustrated groan, Felix released a heavy sigh, catching Seung's attention. The fox turned its gaze toward him, its amber eyes conveying a mixture of curiosity and concern.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Seungie,” Felix admitted quietly, voice heavy with resignation. “I don’t want to do this, but I have to. What if Uncle needs help? What if something’s gone wrong? I have to do this. I have to find him.”

Seung maintained his steady gaze on him, and Felix knew that his fox friend might not understand what he said or the predicament he was in at all; but even then he felt like it was telling him that it’s not too late to go home just yet.

Shaking his head, he convinced himself that it was his own thoughts trying to trick him, because obviously he wanted nothing more than to turn around and head back home.

The sound of branches snapping jolted him out of his thoughts. He stood quickly, turning his head towards the source of the sound.

It was a human. A man. Maybe someone his age, if not a few years older or younger.

Seung was already growling menacingly, body tense and ready to pounce.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you,” the stranger said as he raised his arms in the attempt to look less threatening. Felix had no idea what kind of expression he was making towards the stranger, but Seung was still growling. “I thought I heard someone talking and came to check. It’s getting dark, you shouldn’t be too close to the forest, there are a lot of wild animals out here.”

Still caught off guard by the encounter, Felix found himself frozen, unable to formulate a coherent response. The stranger, oblivious to Felix's internal struggle, continued speaking.

“Uh…” the stranger said. “It’s dark, so I can’t see you that well, but I don’t think I’ve seen you around?” This was it. This was where he’d start screaming and told him off. Felix closed his eyes.

“Name’s Wooyoung, by the way. What’s yours?”

Felix eyes snapped back open. He didn’t expect the other boy to introduce himself.

“Felix,” he said quietly, hesitantly.

“That’s definitely a name I haven’t heard,” Wooyoung said, which made Felix feel like he would really scream now, but he didn’t. “Come on, you shouldn’t be so close to the forest at this hour. Come with me, my family runs an Inn, so you can stay the night there,” he suggested. “What do you think?”

Felix weighed his options. He wasn’t sure what he should do, but at least this person was not freaking out or anything, so he supposed he might be his best bet.

That was before he remembered something.

“Thank you,” Felix said. “But I uh, I don’t have money,” he admitted, feeling embarrassed.

He didn’t have money, and he never had money. He never needed it before. Sure, his uncle buys him stuff from the village sometimes, so he does have money. Not that it meant anything to Felix, because he always stayed back whenever his uncle traveled. He had no need for money in the forest, so the old man never gave him any.

There was a brief pause that only the sound of Seung’s growl can be heard.

“Don’t worry about that. You can stay anyways,” Wooyoung replied kindly. “Besides, what were you planning to do, camp out here?” he asked incredulously.

“Err, yeah,” Felix admitted sheepishly. He didn't see anything wrong with that, he was perfectly fine with camping out—he had been camping out the whole journey here; but the way Wooyoung said it made him feel a little embarrassed. 

“Really?” Wooyoung sounded horrified at that. “That’s really not a good idea. I mean it when I said there are wild animals in the forest, even beasts… Not that I’ve seen one, but my dad did a few years ago. Fastest he’s ever ran in his life.”

“Oh,” Felix said lamely. “I hope he’s alright?”

“Yeah, he’s fine, don’t worry!” Wooyoung said cheerfully. “You’ll meet him soon enough. You’re coming, right? We won’t ask you to pay, you can sleep with me in my room.”

“Are you sure that’s gonna be okay?” Felix asked warily. Should he even consider doing this? What if Wooyoung realized who he was, would he be furious?

“Of course! My parents won’t stop nagging at me if they knew I let a friend sleep outside when we literally own an Inn,” he said. Felix felt something akin to warmth in his heart when he heard that.

A Friend. He’s never had a friend before. A human friend.

“Your, uh, fox, could even come if he wants. But maybe he can sleep in our backyard? ‘Cause he, uh, doesn’t seem to like me very much,” Wooyoung said, eyeing Seung carefully. The fox barked and climbed up Felix’s body, once again settling on his backpack.

Felix blinked, he'd forgotten about Seung for a second. “Don’t worry, it’s not you. He hates humans,” He explained apologetically. “He sleeps outside, so you don’t have to worry about him.”

Wooyoung tilted his head curiously. “He seems fine with you.”

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t stop growling at me at the beginning, too,” Felix replied.

“He won’t attack any of the chickens, won’t he?” Wooyoung suddenly asked, a realization dawning upon him. “I mean, we don’t have any, but our neighbors do.”

“I think he should be fine,” Felix said after a pause, but he wasn’t too sure. Seung hunted by himself, and Felix knew that sometimes he ate birds and frogs, but most of the time he ate fruits and berries. He knew that because Seung would bring some for him, occasionally. He’d share the fruits and berries he scavenged, too, and Seung loved those.

“Are you coming with me, Seung?” Felix asked. The fox stayed unmoving his backpack, so he took that as a yes. “But you can’t attack any of the chickens or animals in the village, alright? You can hunt in the forest.”

Seung said nothing, of course, but Felix had a feeling that he understood, so he nodded in satisfaction. It was then that he remembered Wooyoung's presence and felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. He must think that he was weird, talking to a fox. He was glad it was really dark by now, so his new friend couldn’t possibly see that. “Sorry,” he muttered sheepishly.

“For what?” Wooyoung chuckled warmly. “Come now, my mom will be worried if I don’t get home soon. We’ll be just in time for dinner.”

Wooyoung led Felix towards the village and Felix was once again grateful because he was less nervous now that he was walking with someone. He thought that it would make him look less suspicious, but it turned out that he didn’t need to worry too much because the streets were now deserted for the most part.

“Everyone’s probably inside eating dinner,” Wooyoung explained without being prompted. “Which means we’re late… Let’s go a little faster, yeah?”

Felix nodded, so Wooyoung started walking very fast—he was half running at that point. Felix followed behind, Seung jumped off his backpack to run beside him the moment he noticed that he started running.

 

---

 

Wooyoung’s parents had welcomed him warmly as they arrived, although his mom reprimanded Wooyoung for coming home late. She was nothing but sweet towards Felix, though, so that was a relief.

Seung had stood back as he watched Felix and Wooyoung approach the house. When Felix turned to look at him, the fox simply stared at him for a few seconds before turning around, running towards the general direction of the forest.

His fox friend was smart, so Felix didn’t doubt that it would be able to find him again.

Seung might be back in the morning, or in a few days, or maybe he went back deep into the forest so Felix would only be able to meet him again once he’s back home. He’d never know.

Sometimes he wished Seung was a magical fox who could speak human. Things would be a lot easier and Felix would feel less lonely whenever his uncle was gone.

Going back to the present, Wooyoung’s mother had ushered them straight to the dining room, which was in the same room with their kitchen.

To say that he wasn’t anxious anymore would be a lie, though, because he was still terrified at the prospect of them figuring out who he was. Dread gnawed at his insides as he ate.

He had always been horrible at lying, so when Wooyoung’s mother asked him about where he lived, he told them the truth—hoping that his voice was steady.

He wished Seung was still with him.

As the words left his lips, Felix braced himself for the shock, perhaps even fear, from Wooyoung's family. The family was shocked—horrified, even—at his answer, but not for what he thought.

The Nightshade Forest, Felix had come to learn, was notoriously known as the home to wild animals and beasts. They were even more surprised when he told them that he lived there with his uncle, just the two of them, but that was the extent of it.

They did ask him about how he was able to live there, and he happily explained about his garden and how he’d fish in the river once a week.

“I’m here because of my uncle, actually,” Felix admitted softly. “He’s here for work, and he told me that he’d be back in a week or two. It’s been more than a month and he’s not back yet, so I came to look for him.”

Wooyoung's parents exchanged glances, contemplating the situation. “What’s your uncle’s name?” His father asked.

“Uncle Insu,” Felix replied. “He’s a mage.”

Wooyoung’s father blinked at that. “I’m afraid I’ve never heard of him,” he said, turning to his wife, who shook her head in agreement.

Felix’s heart sank at their answer.

“Maybe we can ask the Village Chief tomorrow,” Wooyoung said quickly. “He might know a thing or two. We can also ask around the village.”

Felix turned to his new friend, once again feeling an overwhelming amount of gratefulness. Not only was he letting him stay the night, he was also actively trying to help him find his uncle  

“That’s a good idea,” his mother chimed in, not wanting Felix to lose hope.

Wooyoung turned to Felix to see what he thought, so Felix smiled genuinely at him. “Thank you, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung brightened significantly at that, happy that he was able to help a little.

Dinner went by without a hitch after that.

Felix had insisted that he do the dishes, which was disputed by Wooyoung’s mother before she finally relented, realizing that Felix was not backing down anytime soon. Afterwards, Wooyoung told him that he could take a bath before him as he showed him the bathroom.

A few hours later, Felix found himself lying down on a stack of quilts Wooyoung has prepared for him. He could hear his steady breaths, indicating that his new friend was fast asleep.

Felix was beyond relieved and grateful that he’d met Wooyoung. Gratitude for the unexpected kindness, for the refuge he had found in Wooyoung's home, and for the flicker of hope that had been reignited within him. He’d been lucky, he could’ve met someone who would realize who he was in a second and get chased away from the village before he could say hi.

Feeling exhaustion finally catching up to him, Felix closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep. The future remained uncertain, but for now, he allowed himself to find solace in the present, grateful for the companionship that he had found. 

 

---

 

As the first rays of dawn painted the sky with hues of soft orange and pink, Felix stirred from his sleep. He slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he tried to remember where he was and what happened yesterday.

Right, he was in the village, and he’s made a new friend.

He glanced over at Wooyoung, still sound asleep, and smiled fondly at how his hair was stuck out in all directions.

Quietly, Felix rose and made his way to the kitchen. The aroma of freshly brewed tea and warm bread filled the air, courtesy of Wooyoung's mother, who was already bustling about, preparing breakfast for the family.

Upon seeing Felix, she greeted him with a warm smile. "Good morning, Felix," she said. "I didn't expect you to be up so early."

Returning her smile, Felix replied, "I couldn't sleep any longer. I thought I could help you with breakfast."

“You’re sweet for offering but you don’t have to do that, dear. You’re our guest after all,” she said kindly. Felix insisted that he wanted to, mentioning how he was responsible to prepare meals with his uncle. Huffing fondly, Wooyoung’s mother gestured toward the ingredients neatly arranged on the counter. "Alright. Why don't you start by slicing the vegetables?"

Nodding eagerly, Felix washed his hands and began skillfully cutting the peppers and tomatoes. He noticed how healthy and fresh the vegetables look. The village must have a pretty skilled farmer.

The sizzling sound of frying pans filled the kitchen as the two started engaging in light conversation. She shared stories of her family's, while Felix listened intently, laughing when she told him about how Wooyoung was the biggest crybaby when he was a child.

Time seemed to slow down at that moment, and Felix felt of longing and nostalgia swirling in his chest.

The aroma of breakfast soon enveloped the house, and as the savory scent wafted into the rooms, which roused Wooyoung's father from his sleep. He stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and wearing a faint smile upon seeing Felix and his wife working together.

"Good morning," he yawned, his voice still tinged with sleep. "What's cooking?"

Wooyoung’s mother turned with a bright smile, seemingly delighted that her husband was awake. Felix continued working as he listened to their conversation about the guests staying in the Inn and what they’re going to do today.

When Wooyoung finally stumbled downstairs, his mother told him to show Felix around town and help him ask around the village for his uncle.

“Of course,” Wooyoung pouted. “I was already planning to do so, Mom.”

After they were done with breakfast, Wooyoung all but dragged Felix around town, introducing him to everyone he saw. Felix was flushing, not used to meeting so many people and being the center of attention because he was the boy who lived in the forest.

The villagers were all kind and welcoming, none of them reacted badly to him, which confused him beyond anything else. Not that he wasn’t grateful, but at this point he was more confused than grateful.

No one has heard of his uncle, which made everything even more confusing because how could that be when his uncle frequented the village?

As they walked through the village streets, Felix's frown deepened. The search for his uncle was not progressing as he’d hoped at all. Wooyoung, noticing Felix's mood, turned to him and asked, “Are you sure he said that he was coming here, Lix?”

Felix replied with a nod, “I’m sure, Hyung.” Apparently Wooyoung was a year older than him. “Duskwood’s the closest village. I’m sure he went here…”

“Right,” Wooyoung said before his eyes lit up with another idea. “Maybe he went by another name?”

Felix blinked.

That was possible. He didn’t think of that.

“That’s actually possible!” Felix perked up, feeling better now that there was possibility that his uncle was around, just with another name. He had always been a bit on the skeptical and suspicious side, always telling him to be careful and to not trust any stranger he meets—not that he ever met any because no one ever went that deep into the woods. “Is there any mage in town? Or is there any mage who visits periodically?”

Wooyoung was silent for a moment before answered, trying to rack his brain for answers. “There’s a mage in town, a sorcerer, to be precise. She barely gets out of her house, as far as I know. As for traveling mages, I know sometimes there are mages from other villages or the capital. But they don’t come here that often…” Wooyoung trailed off. “But hey, that's just what I know. I’m actually not super knowledgeable with this kind of thing, since my family’s never needed a mage’s help before.”

Felix hummed at that.

He supposed that made sense, since even though he lived with his uncle, he barely ever saw him do magic other than very, very rare occasions. A part of it was because there was no need to, he didn’t get sick easily and when he did, his uncle had all kinds of medicine and potions already stocked up anyways.

Another reason was because his uncle did magic in his workroom, which was always locked for Felix because he said that it could be dangerous if he touched things he shouldn't.

He understood that now that he’s grown, but not so much when he was younger, so his uncle would always just lock the room.

“We can try asking the Chief when he’s back, if anyone knew any traveling mages it would be him.” Wooyoung suggested.

Felix nodded in agreement. They had visited the Village Chief—a tall, middle aged man who looked like he could snap Felix in two, but he had the warmest smile ever—earlier that day, but they didn’t get to talk for long because he had a meeting scheduled with the chiefs from the neighboring villages. So after Wooyoung introduced Felix and asked whether he knew uncle Insu, he had to leave.

The meeting was going to be at Crimson Peak, which was one of the neighboring villages. It was about a 10-hour journey by horse. It would be a few days before he returned.

“In the meantime, why don’t I introduce you to my friends? We can even ask them about your uncle, see if they know anything,” Wooyoung offered.

“Sounds good, hyung. Thanks,” Felix agreed easily. Sure, he’s a little bit nervous but he thinks that since Wooyoung’s such a good guy, his friends would be to.

He thought. He hoped.

He wasn’t sure where they were heading to, but he listened to Wooyoung talking about what he wanted for dinner and told him about his food preferences when the older male asked.

One second they were talking, the next second Wooyoung turned and his face brightened like he just won the lottery.

“There he is, San-ah!” His new friend called out. He practically sprinted towards him. The male looked up and brightened identically when he saw them approaching.

It was then Felix realized that they were a bit away from the rows of houses and buildings, they were at the fields between the village and the forest.

He followed Wooyoung quickly, as his new friend was already there with the new guy, talking to each other with a smile on his face.

“Hey, Felix, right?” Wooyoung’s friend greeted him with a friendly smile. “Name’s San. Nice to meet ya.”

“Hi,” Felix said shyly, unsure what to say  

Wooyoung chuckled. “He’s a bit shy at first, but he’s a good guy,” he told San. “He came here looking for his uncle, a Mage.”

Felix nodded. Now this he’s familiar with. “His name is Insu. Have you ever heard of him?” he asked.

“’’Fraid not,” San answered, looking thoughtful. “There’s a mage who comes once every three, four months from Willowmere, but if I remember correctly, his name is like… Sangkyu or something.”

Felix exchanged glances with Wooyoung. Could that be the name his uncle was using?

“Do you know how old he is?” Wooyoung asked.

“He looks like he’s in his mid-thirties, or early forties,” San said. “I’m not sure.”

Well, that could be his uncle. Not that Felix knew his exact age, but he was certain he was in his early forties.

Felix opened his mouth, about to ask when  the mage was last seen in Duskwood, but their conversation was interrupted by a voice calling out.

“Hyung!”

They all turned, and Felix saw another boy approaching them. He decided that he might be really bad at guessing people’s age, because just like Wooyoung, his guess was that this guy was also his age. He had a feeling he might be older or younger, just like how Wooyoung turned out to be.

Wooyoung greeted him with a grin, and San slapped him in the back and said something about the weather or his breakfast, honestly, Felix wasn’t so sure because the moment San slapped the boy in the back, his whole world came to a stop.

The boy turned and greeted him with a bright smile. “Hi! I’m Jeongin. Nice to meet you!”

Scratch that, Felix’s whole world came to an end.

Notes:

Just wanna say that english is not my first language and I'm generally horrible at descriptions and details but otherwise... enjoy!

Edit: if you're new to the story, welcome! there are spoilers in the comments section sometimes so you might want to avoid looking into the comments before you're caught up with the latest chapter.

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 2: Outrunning Destiny

Summary:

He was chatting with Wooyoung in the older’s room one evening when it’s finally here. The conversation he was dreading.

“Is anything going on with you and Innie, Lix?” Wooyoung asked, voice tinted with concern.

Ah, he was so screwed.

Felix was now convinced that his decision to leave the forest was the worst, and the stupidest decision he’s ever made in his life.

Because in front of him stood a charming boy who’s supposedly his soulmate. Great, he has said one sentence in total and Felix was already thinking that he was charming.

And now he was trying not to die internally, because this was something he hoped would never happen; this was something that should never have happened because he was going to spend his entire life in the forest, dammit, but of course the one time he went to the village, he found him.

Okay, he was fine. He just needed to calm down.

San said something, which made Wooyoung and the boy—Jeongin, his name was Jeongin—laugh, and Felix just stood there helplessly trying not to break down.

He hated how the only thing he could think of at that moment was how he liked seeing Jeongin laugh.

He was not fine. He couldn’t be here.

The moment he decided that he needed to leave, his body almost automatically darted away from then. Thank heavens he still had enough common sense that stopped himself before he could do that because that would be rude. He didn’t want to be rude and make Wooyoung hate him.

He could do it. He just needed to calm down and lie well, and then he could get out of there.

Except he was horrible at lying. He wanted to bang his head on the walls or something, but they were outside near the fields and there were no walls nearby.

“Felix?” Wooyoung asked. “You alright?”

It was then he remembered that Jeongin had introduced himself, and Felix just stood there like the idiot he was.

They were all staring at him now.

“Yes,” Felix said quickly, barely registering the question and avoiding Jeongin’s eyes in reflex. “It’s really great to meet you. I think I’ll try asking around again, see you guys later,” he blurted, stumbling over his words before he practically sprinted away. He heard Wooyoung calling his name, sounding surprised and confused, but all he could think of was that he needed to get out of there.

He had to get out of there, and he had to get out of there fast.

He would apologize later. He hoped Wooyoung wouldn’t be too mad at him.

He was now somewhere in the village, he wasn’t sure exactly where because Wooyoung hadn’t taken him there yet. It was fine, he could ask around for Wooyoung’s house and the villagers could definitely—

“Oomph!”

Lost in his thoughts, Felix rounded a corner without paying attention and collided with someone, sending both of them sprawling to the ground. Apples rolled across the cobblestones, their sweet aroma mingling with the earthy scent of the village.

“I’m so sorry!” Felix gasped, horrified. He quickly scrambled to gather the apples, grabbing the basket to put it all back in. “I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t see where I was going and—”

The person he had collided with chuckled, extending a hand to help him up. “No worries,” He said easily. Felix had already picked everything up, so he finally glanced up, his gaze meeting warm eyes framed by a friendly smile. “I wasn’t looking as well.” He took the basket of apples from Felix’s hands, muttering a quick thanks. “You must be Jung Wooyoung’s new friend?”

“Oh, ah, yeah. I’m Felix,” Felix said awkwardly.

“I’m Minhyuk,” The person said. “But if you prefer, you can just call me yours.”

Felix spluttered, caught off guard by the playful remark. He’s read that somewhere before, probably one of the romance books his uncle bought him even though he’s never asked him for such books. He wasn’t a picky reader, so he devoured every book he was given. He had a lot of time to himself, after all, and the outside world—the world beyond the forest—had always intrigued him.

Minhyuk's laughter filled the air, a sound that was both comforting and teasing.

“It’s great meeting you,” Felix blurted, eager to change the topic. “I’m really sorry for running into you like that. It was my bad.”

“Like I said, I wasn’t really paying attention as well, so you don’t need to apologize,” Minhyuk said with a kind smile. “Where are you going though? Why are you in such a hurry?”

“Uh, I was…” He racked his brain for an answer. “I just felt like exercising a little, I guess,” he said as he scrunched his nose, unable to stop it as he realized he just failed miserably at lying. Again.

All this lying was not good for his health. He’d get a heart attack or combust from embarrassment if this continues.

Minhyuk blinked slowly before a playful smirk decorated his face. “I see,” He said, clearly not buying it.

“Actually, I’m,” Felix cleared his throat. “I’m looking for my uncle, that’s why I’m here in Duskwood. Do you happen to know any mage called Insu?”

Minhyuk's expression shifted, a thoughtful look replacing his playful demeanor. “No, sorry. Never heard of him. The only mage—or sorcerer, I guess—I know around this area is the village sorcerer. And she’s, well, a sorcerer. So I don’t think she’s the one you’re looking for.”

“Oh… I see,” Felix sighed. “Thanks,” The Sorcerer again, maybe Felix should pay her a visit and see if she knew his uncle. Did magicians and sorcerers have some kind of community they’re all part in?

“But I can ask around for you, beautiful,” Minhyuk added smoothly, making Felix blush. His face was definitely so red right now, he didn’t need a mirror to know that. He had never met anyone like Minhyuk—well, before this he never met anyone at all, but his point stands. “I’m just messing with you. The beautiful part, not the asking around part. Not that you’re not beautiful, because you are.”

Him trying to clear things up just made Felix blush even more. Minhyuk laughed fondly at him.

“You’re cute. I’ll see you around, Felix. Will let you know if I heard anything about your uncle. See ya!”

With that, Minhyuk hurried off, his basket of apples in hand, leaving Felix in a daze.

He let out a breath of relief.

Minhyuk seemed like a good guy, but it was his first time talking to him and he was already teasing him too much.

Shaking his head mentally, Felix noticed a helpful road sign and decided to go to the market, where the merchants sell their stuff. Perhaps there’d be someone who knows his uncle there.

 

---

 

Felix ended up spending the rest of his day talking to the merchants at the market.

They were all really kind and friendly, so he had spent a lot more time talking to them than he planned.

They weren’t even talking about his uncle, because early-on in the conversations it was clear that no one knew him, so Felix sat there with them as he listened to their chatter about their family and how business was going.

While the lack of news of his uncle made him feel slightly more anxious, he enjoyed listening to them. Felix didn’t want to admit it because obviously he’s worried sick about his uncle and wanted him back more than anything, but he was also enjoying his time in Duskwood, outside of the forest.

He had spent his whole life dreaming about this, thinking how it’d be like to live normally, and he’s getting the taste of it right now.

If his uncle was there with him, everything would be perfect.

Felix went back to Wooyoung’s house with a basket full of things, thanks to the merchants.

Almost all of them had contributed and gave him something for free. He’s got some fishes from an older man called Daeho, corns from a loud, middle-aged man called Inho, some apples from a kind lady called Eunhee, and there was even this old map of the village that was given to him by Minki, the merchant who sells soaps—the man had given him both a bar of soap and the map, mentioning how the map was a little outdated but that Felix needed the map more than him.

He had tried to refuse, but none of them would take a no from him—saying that it was a welcoming gift. Felix promised himself that he was going to visit them often and see if he could help them with a thing or two as his thanks.

Wooyoung, bless his heart, wasn’t even mad at him. He was already back at home when Felix arrived that afternoon. He did ask about the basket Felix was holding curiously, and he grinned happily at his answer.

“They must’ve liked you a lot,” Wooyoung said. “Uncle Minki’s map is like a family heirloom, he’s always been really proud of it because his grandfather drew it himself. He wouldn’t even let his children touch it.”

Felix's eyes widened in alarm at the revelation of the map's significance. He didn’t think the map was that valuable.

Wooyoung chuckled at his expression. “Don’t worry, he’s one of the most blunt person I’ve ever met. If he said he wanted you to have it, he really did.”

“Still… it’s an heirloom,” Felix whined.

Wooyoung grinned. “You better keep it safe, then.”

“I will,” Felix said. “And when I’m done I’ll return it to him. I’ll keep it perfectly safe until then,” he added in determination.

Felix then tried to hand the basket to Wooyoung, saying that he wanted him and his family to have it, as a gesture of thanks, since they’d let him stay with them. Wooyoung refused, saying that the merchants wanted him to have it, so he should be the one to have it.

“Plus, I’m the one who invited you,” He pointed out. “I should be the one thanking you for agreeing to stay.”

“Hyung, that doesn’t make any sense,” Felix complained.

“Yes it does.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“It does.”

“It doesn—“

“Boys!” Wooyoung’s Morther called them from the dining room, making the two freeze since they thought she was going to scold them for bickering. “Dinner’s getting cold, come and eat!”

They caught each others’ eyes before they burst out laughing.

“Coming, Mom!” Wooyoung replied. “C’mon, I’m starving already.”

Felix nodded, but before they moved Wooyoung seemed to remember something. “By the way, were you alright with me introducing you to San and Jeongin today?” He asked, and Felix’s stomach dropped. “Because you looked really spooked, so I thought I might have overstepped..?”

“Not at all,” Felix shook his head adamantly. “Sorry, hyung,” he muttered quietly. “Meeting new people is… It makes me nervous. I hope I didn’t upset San and Jeongin?”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, they won’t mind,” Wooyoung said easily, looking relieved. “And it’s San hyung for you, he’s my age.”

“Right,” Felix said, feeling relieved that San didn’t hate him already—not Jeongin. Actually, it might be better if Jeongin hated him, that way he wouldn’t have to try so hard to avoid him because Jeongin would happily do the same.

He might be onto something there.

“Jeongin’s a year younger than you, though, so you can address him casually,” Wooyoung added.

“Oh,” Felix’s mood dampened a little at the mention of Jeongin. “I see.”

If Wooyoung noticed anything, he didn’t show it. Instead, he dragged the younger to the dining room, towards the mouthwatering smell of food.

He could think of it all later. Now, he was just going to enjoy the delicious meal Wooyoung’s Mother had prepared for them.

 

---

 

Over the next few days, Felix got used to life in Duskwood.

Wooyoung and his family had insisted that he should stay with them until he was able to find his uncle, and they even gave him his own room.

That part had been a mess, Felix had been horrified at the thought of taking a room for free—they’d already let him stay for a few days and feed him, he couldn’t possibly take even more. He thought Wooyoung would probably love to have his room to himself sometimes, though, so he suggested that he could sleep in the kitchen or the living room.

The family looked at him as if he spat on their ancestor’s grave.

“That is unthinkable, completely ridiculous. The kitchen is for cooking and the living room is for living—“

“Why would you sleep in the kitchen when there are plenty of empty rooms perfectly ready to sleep in?”

“The rats sleep in the kitchen, Felix, and last time I checked you’re not a rat—“

They all spoke over each other, but the sheer ridiculousness of Wooyoung’s brilliant argument made his parents pause and turn to him. “What?”

His Mother’s eyes promised something unpleasant, but for now she turned to Felix and gripping his shoulders firmly. “You will be getting your own room and that’s final. I will not take a no from you, young man. Now go and grab your stuff from Wooyoung’s disaster of a room and follow me.”

Felix was a mess because he wasn’t sure what to say, he wanted to laugh at Wooyoung and he also felt like crying.

The last one was slightly stronger than the rest.

“Thank you,” he said as he blinked rapidly, eyes dangerously brimming with tears.

All three of them froze at that.

“You made him cry! Do something!” Wooyoung Father turned to Wooyoung in panic.

Wooyoung gasped, sounding offended at the accusation. “No I didn’t!”

His Mother ignored them both entirely as she kindly wiped the tears away, which didn’t help with the situation at all because all Felix could think of was gentle hands that used to wipe his tears just as gently when he was a child. “None of that, sweetheart. We want you to stay, and it’s not a problem at all, alright? The guests barely go for the attic room anyways, so don’t you worry about it,” she said kindly, as if she could read Felix’s mind. “Now why don’t you grab—actually, no, you come with me, I baked a cake earlier this morning and you can try it for me, hmm?” She asked. “Wooyoung-ah, why don’t you go and get Felix’s stuff?”

Felix was ready to say no, how could he let Wooyoung do that for him, but Wooyoung was quick to agree, eager to help, and his Mother was already turning back to Felix again, who was gaping because he was overwhelmed with their kindness and everything was just happening so fast.

Felix ended his morning by eating a very delicious cake with his friend and his family.

He must have drained all his good luck when he met Wooyoung, he was sure of it.

 

---

 

Another part of Felix’s new routine was avoiding Jeongin like his life depended on it, and it’s the part he hated the most because the universe was conspiring against him.

Jeongin was everywhere.

When Felix went to the market to chat with the merchants, he was there. When Felix went to check out the bookstore for the first time, he was there. When Felix was wandering around at the unfamiliar part of the town, holding uncle Minki’s map like it’s made of fragile glass ready to break anytime, he was there.

And he was always trying to strike up a conversation with him.

“Felix hyung!” Felix heard before the younger was already in front of him with that adorable smile of his. “What are you doing here?” He asked curiously.

Felix clutched the map a little harder, racking his brain for an excuse to get away from him.

“Just looking around,” Felix replied quietly.

“You haven’t been to this part of the village, have you?” Jeongin asked, sounding pleased. “Do you want me to—“

“I just remembered, I promised to help Mrs. Jung with laundry today!” Felix said abruptly. “See you!” He said as he bolted away, not waiting for an answer. His heart was beating so fast he wouldn’t be surprised if it leaped out of his mouth anytime now.

He was relieved to hear there wasn’t any footsteps following him, so when he thought he was far enough, he stopped to catch his breath.

That was pretty much how he’s been avoiding Jeongin.

One of these days, he got to think of a different reason. Jeongin was going to think that he’s the village’s resident laundry expert or something.

His fear of meeting Jeongin made him always on edge when he’s outside.

One time, San spotted him and called his name from behind him before he tapped his shoulder to get his attention when Felix was on his way home after he’s visited uncle Minki’s house and Felix blurted laundry before he could think.

An awkward silence stretched between them.

“Laundry what?” San asked, looking confused.

Felix swallowed, realizing he screwed up because that’s definitely not Jeongin. “Laundry… is my hobby,” he said brilliantly.

“Okay?” San said, looking like he definitely didn’t understand that but was happy for him nonetheless “Good for you, Felix.” He added kindly.

If it wouldn't have raised even more doubts about his sanity, Felix would have punched himself in the face right then and there.

“Thanks,” Felix said, but it sounded like he was anything but thankful.

Days passed in a blur as he waited for the Chief to return. Avoiding Jeongin weighed heavily on his heart, he wished he didn’t have to do it because he knew that if their positions were reversed, he would’ve been upset—soulmates or not.

After all, it should be clear as day now that Felix didn’t want anything to do with him.

He was just glad that at least Jeongin had no idea why, and that he had no idea they were soulmates.

If he was left to his devices, he would have continued avoiding Jeongin because he had to. He will protect him, he won’t let anything hurt Jeongin—especially not because of him.

He was chatting with Wooyoung in the older’s room one evening when it’s finally here. The conversation he was dreading.

“Is anything going on with you and Innie, Lix?” Wooyoung asked, voice tinted with concern.

Ah, he was so screwed.

For once, he wished that he wasn’t living under the same roof with Wooyoung and his family, because he surely couldn’t just say that he was going to help Mrs. Jung with laundry when it’s so late in the evening, and because Wooyoung knew more than anyone else that his mother never asked for Felix’s help doing laundry.

Yeah, he was definitely screwed.

Notes:

I was thinking about updating one chapter per week, but the kudos and comments might or might not have given me more motivation to write more. Since I finished the second chapter a lot quicker than I predicted, I thought there's no harm in posting early, so here's the next chapter! :D

Not sure about the next chapter but in general I always try to update at least once per week. Until then ☺️

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 3: The Warrior’s Treasure

Summary:

“That’s great, Lixie,” Wooyoung patted his shoulder. “I’m sure he’s going to be so happy that you’re talking to him. You guys will be good friends, I can feel it.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed as he tried his best to not do anything embarassing like cry at the word friends. “We’ll be good friends. Of course.”

Wooyoung was staring at him expectantly, his brows furrowed—he was waiting for him to say something, which didn’t help with his nerves. The room felt suffocating as he searched for the right words, his mind racing.

“No, why are you asking me that? There’s nothing going on at all,” Felix blabbered.

Wooyoung shook his head, smiling in exasperation. “It’s funny when you try to lie, Lixie. You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met. Like, the worst.”

Felix gulped, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he couldn't keep this up any longer. “I’m not lying,” He weakly insisted, making his one last attempt.

The older rolled his eyes playfully, leaning back in his chair. “Jeongin didn’t say much, but he was asking me about you. He was asking if he made you upset, and why you seem to hate him,” He explained. “I’m not forcing you to be friends with him, but I just wanted to talk to you, see if I can understand what's upsetting you. I know I might be a little biased when I say this because I grew up with him, but he’s a good guy.”

I know, Felix wanted to say. There’s no way someone with that smile is anything but good.

That last line of thought frustrated him more than anything.

“Also, whatever it was, he probably didn’t mean to do it—like, he probably didn’t know that it was upsetting for you. He had no idea what it was, but he said that he’s been trying to talk to you, but you’ve been busy,” Felix flushed at that, the memories about those laundry lies rushing back to him. “Or maybe you just didn’t want to talk to him because of it. Whatever it is, even if you don’t want to tell him yourself, you can tell me. And then if you’d like, I can tell him, and I’m pretty sure—I know Innie wouldn’t do it again, and—“

“Hyung,” Felix tried to interrupt.

“Sorry, I know I’m rambling,” Wooyoung sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s just, he really wants to be your friend. He’s been kinda down lately, ‘cause he feels like he did something wrong but he couldn’t figure out what.”

And that was just fantastic, because Felix had been trying to stay away from his soulmate so that he won’t get hurt, but he was doing it by hurting him.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to force you to be friends with him or anything. You’re both my friends, and seeing either of you sad, well, makes me sad as well,” Wooyoung continued. “So I was thinking that you could maybe give him another chance? He’s a really good guy, I promise.”

And how could Felix say no to him?

To Wooyoung who had generously invited him into his house? To Wooyoung who had gone out his way to help Felix ask around the village about his uncle? To Wooyoung who had been nothing but kind to him?

His very first human friend.

“I’m sorry,” Felix muttered quietly. “Jeongin never did anything to upset me. It’s just that…”

He’s my soulmate! He wanted to scream. He’s my soulmate and I’ve never wanted to hug someone and never let go even though we’ve just met and I only know his name! I would’ve jumped onto him and told him that he was my soulmate the first time we met if I could, but I couldn’t, I shouldn’t because then I would condemn him and then he would get hurt or worse and I wouldn’t be able to live with that, he wanted to say.

But he couldn’t, so he let out a long-suffering sigh, feeling exhaustion deep in his bones.

“I have no excuse,” he said quietly. “I’ve been unfairly rude to Jeongin, he doesn’t deserve that. And it’s unfair to you too, I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Really?” Wooyoung asked in surprise, but he mostly looked relieved. “I mean, you don’t have to apologize to me, of course. But you really mean it, that he didn’t do anything wrong?”

“Yeah,” Felix offered him a tired smile, hoping that he would drop this conversation. He hated thinking about his soulmate, it’s exhausting and it hurts. “I’ll apologize to him properly next time I see him.”

“That’s great, Lixie,” Wooyoung patted his shoulder. “I’m sure he’s going to be so happy that you’re talking to him. You guys will be good friends, I can feel it.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed as he tried his best to not do anything embarassing like cry at the word friends. “We’ll be good friends. Of course.”

Wooyoung just smiled at him brightly, excited that his friends will finally be friends now.

 

---

 

“Can’t we go, Mama? I want to see the village,” Felix pleaded, his voice filled with curiosity and longing.

His mother, kneeling beside him, gently ran her fingers through his hair, her touch soothing and comforting. A sad smile formed on her lips as she gazed into his hopeful eyes. She let out a soft sigh before responding, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You know we can’t go.”

Felix's brows furrowed, and he persisted, “But why?”

His mother's sad expression was the last thing he saw before he opened his eyes, the dream serving as reminder he didn’t need.

Sighing, Felix pushed himself up as he patted down his hair, bracing himself for the day ahead. He took the small vial of potion from his bedside table and downed it quickly.

Today was going to be a long day, he could feel it in his bones.

Wooyoung was helping his parents with the inn that day, so Felix decided that he wanted to join him and pull his weight. The family was trying to refuse but Felix wasn’t taking a no for answer, he needed to do something for them as well.

Helping around with the inn was relaxing, he didn’t need to think too much as he tailed behind Mrs. Jung, helping her clean each bedroom and doing the heavy lifting.

Mrs. Jung kept the conversation going between them, she was telling Felix about her parents—Wooyoung grandparents, who apparently lived in the capital.

By the time they were done with everything, the sun was setting and Felix almost forgot about Jeongin. Emphasize on almost.

Not that it mattered, because right after he finished cleaning himself up while Mrs. Jung prepared dinner, Wooyoung knocked on his door.

“Hey, Lix,” he said, pushing the door open when Felix told him to come in. “Someone’s here to see you. You alright if he comes upstairs? He won’t be here for long.”

He didn’t even need to say who the someone was, because who else could it be?

Felix nodded mutely, and Wooyoung smiled before he disappeared behind the door. He could hear the murmurs of their voices, although he couldn’t exactly make out what they were saying exactly.

“Come in,” He stood up when he heard another knock, and the door swung open to reveal Jeongin, looking nervous as he stood in the doorway.

“Hi, hyung,” He said, avoiding eye contact.

“Hi,” Felix replied quietly. “Come on in.”

Jeongin stepped in hesitantly, closing the door behind him with a gentle click.

And then they both just continued avoiding each others’ eyes, standing there in a heavy silence. Felix wondered if Wooyoung told him about their conversation or something, because he didn’t think that the last time he met the younger boy, he was this awkward with him. But then, he totally deserved this.

Should he speak first? But Jeongin was the one who came to him, so he must already have something in mind—he must have something he wanted to say, and Felix had no idea what that was.

Perhaps he should break the ice, say something about the weather, or something? Or maybe he can talk about—

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Jeongin said, eyes downcast, jolting Felix out of his spiraling thoughts. “You’re always avoiding me, so I think I must’ve done something to upset you? I’m sorry that I don’t know what it is, but I can—”

“No, you didn’t.” Felix said quickly, unable to see Jeongin like that—all sad and guilty even though he’s been nothing but perfect.

…Kind, Felix meant that he’s been nothing but kind.

“I didn’t?” Jeongin asked in disbelief. “But...”

“I was…” Felix hesitated. He tried thinking of a reason that would make sense, but all his brain gave him was it’s because you’re my soulmate so I have to stay away from you, and of course Felix can’t just say that. “I... don't know,” he said finally, feeling exceptionally dumb.

Jeongin blinked in confusion before his expression turned into something that looks like sadness, or resignation.

“Sorry, that came out wrong,” Felix said quickly, mentally annoyed at his inability to sadden this person just because he’s his soulmate. “What I meant to say was… I’m sorry. I’ve been nothing but rude to you, even though you’ve never done anything to deserve it. So you don’t need to apologize, in fact, I’m the one who owe you an apology,” he continued. “I’m sorry.”

A few seconds passed in silence as Jeongin seemed to process what he just said.

Say no, Felix pleaded silently. Cuss me out, tell me you don’t want anything to do with me, and leave.

But of course that didn't happen.

The younger male just smiled brightly as if all’s right in the world.

“That’s great! I thought I’d offended you or done something to upset you,” he said. “I’m glad that’s not the case.” he added softly. “But do you really mean it, hyung? There’s really nothing?”

Felix swallowed as he started to seriously doubt whether lying was the right choice. Maybe he should’ve just be blunt and tell Jeongin that he was, in fact, trying his best to avoid him and that he didn’t want to get acquainted with him at all, but he found himself nodding dumbly.

“Yeah. I’m just… I’ve never had many friends before,” he’s never had any friends, more like. “So.. yeah.”

“Does this mean we can be friends?” Jeongin asked, face hopeful.

It will be fine. He can do this, he had to.

“Of course,” Felix answered. “I’d love to be friends with you.”

If his smile was bright before, it was blinding now. “I’d love to be friends with you too, hyung,” Jeongin replied.

Damn it all to hell. What did he do wrong to the fates, why do they have to be so cruel—

“Wooyoung hyung hasn’t told me much, but he did tell me that you’re looking for your uncle and no one seems to have heard of him,” Jeongin continued when Felix stayed silent, oblivious at the predicament he was in. “So I was thinking that it’s possible that he works in the other villages? I have a few friends from the other villages, and even one from the capital,” he said, although he sounded a little perturbed as he was mentioning the capital. “And I was thinking that if you’d like, I can introduce you to them? or I can ask them if they knew anything?”

See, this was why Felix was terrified at the notion of meeting his soulmate. He knew that he would be helpless when he does, and this moment was a prime example—he almost teared up just because of the kind offer from Jeongin, and if he could see his own heart he bet it was already halfway melted or something.

He had to get a grip.

“That would be really great, thanks,” he said as genuinely as he could, but he was tense so all he could muster was a tight smile. “It’s really kind of you to offer, thank you.”

“Not at all, hyung,” Jeongin returned his smile. “I’m going to visit the capital in a few weeks, so I’ll be sure to ask around for your uncle then. I’ll send my friends a letter tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Felix repeated as he felt warmth spreading in his chest, feeling grateful with a hint of guilt because Jeongin deserved so much better than this.

Someone so much better than him.

“You can thank me when we hear anything from them,” Jeongin said cheerfully. “I’ve gotta go now, my mom would be screaming my ears off if I’m not home before the sun sets. See you tomorrow, hyung!”

 

---

 

Jeongin did, in fact, meet him the next day.

Felix was on his way to the bookstore, deciding that he wanted to just look around the place. He kind of missed reading books, it used to be one of the things he did the most at home since there was nobody else and some days, there wasn’t much he could do; especially when it's raining too heavily for him to be outside.

It rained a lot in the forest, and so on those days he’d spend his whole day reading; unless his uncle was home and he’s asking his help to prepare the ingredients for his potions.

“Felix hyung!” Felix heard him before he saw him, and he had to remind himself that he wasn’t supposed to be avoiding Jeongin anymore. He turned to face the younger, who was approaching him. “Where are you heading?”

“Hey,” he greeted him with a small smile. “I was just going to the bookstore.”

Jeongin’s eye lit up. “Can I come with you?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“Of course,” Felix replied.

A smile bloomed on Jeongin’s face, and they started walking side by side towards the general direction of the bookstore.

Friends, Felix thought in his mind. Friends, friends, friends. He repeated like a mantra.

“Do you like reading, hyung?” Jeongin asked curiously.

“Yes,” Felix said. “I used to read a lot in my spare time.”

“Yeah?” Jeongin echoed. “What kind of book do you like?”

That made him think. He supposed he liked them all the same, his uncle mostly gave him fictions and knowledge books—books about plants and animals and potions. He supposed he liked the fictions best, especially the ones about adventures.

“I like reading stories,” he answered thoughtfully. “The adventure ones are always my favorite. They’re just so interesting and thrilling and the world’s such a huge place with like, so many places to visit and sceneries to see and it’s just…” He noticed that he was rambling. “Wonderful,” He finished shyly. “Sorry.”

Jeongin laughed. “For what?”

“I get too excited about books sometimes.”

“I like hearing you talk,” Jeongin said, smiling.

Felix blushed at that. “Thanks,” he said. “But how about you? Do you like reading?”

“I read sometimes,” Jeongin said. “Not that often though, since I’d usually spend my free time just hanging out with the others. I do enjoy reading, although it usually takes me weeks to finish a book.”

They were already arriving at the bookstore. They entered and greeted the owner who was sitting behind the counter, an old man with a toothy smile.

“What’s something you really like doing, then?” Felix asked Jeongin as they walked towards one of the aisles.

“I like singing,” Jeongin admitted shyly.

Felix turned to him, not expecting the answer. “Really?”

“Yeah,” the younger answered. “But I’m not good at it or anything. I just like it.”

“I’m sure you have a wonderful singing voice, Innie,” Felix said before his eyes widened as he realized what he just said. From how Jeongin’s jaw went slack, he probably noticed it too. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to—Wooyoung hyung and San hyung called you that and it’s just stuck, so I said it without really th—“

“No, please call me that,” Jeongin blurted, before his cheeks went slightly red. “I mean, you can definitely call me that. Or anything you’d like, hyung. I,” he cleared his throat. “I don’t mind.”

Felix let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Right. Sorry. Thanks.”

It became a little too awkward then, so Felix turned his attention towards the rows of books in front of him, hoping to distract himself from everything else that is not square and have pages and are living things. He didn’t notice that Jeongin was doing the same.

They both looked through the books in silence for a few minutes after that. Fortunately for Felix, books always served as an effective distraction for him, so the awkward conversation slowly faded to the back of his mind as he read through he first few pages of the book he picked up titled The Warrior’s Treasure.

“What’s that one about, hyung?” Jeongin whispered, not wanting to disrupt whatever trance Felix was in.

“It’s about a warrior who’s looking for a treasure, I think,” Felix muttered. “He wants to give it to his wife and children so that they can have a better life, so he’s going on a journey to find it.”

Jeongin hummed.

Felix read the whole first chapter before putting the book away. The story was definitely interesting. He’ll remember the title and try asking his uncle for the book once they’re back at home.

They spent quite some time in the bookstore, going through the books that interested them and showing it to each other. They both seemed to have forgotten the awkwardness they were in just earlier, and were now speaking quietly with each other.

Felix wasn’t surprised when he found himself genuinely enjoying Jeongin’s company, conversations flowing effortlessly as if they’d known each other for years.

“I think I’ll have to go soon, hyung,” Jeongin sighed. “I need to help my dad with today’s harvest.”

“Your dad’s a farmer?” Felix asked curiously.

Jeongin nodded, a proud smile plastered on his face. “Yep!”

“Alright, let’s go then. I think I’ve spent enough time reading today,” Felix said. “I can help you with the harvests, if you want?” He offered.

“No, no, that’s okay. We’ve got it covered,” Jeongin said quickly, not wanting to trouble him. “Could you wait for me outside, hyung? I’m gonna get something.”

“Did you find something you like?” Felix asked, perking up at that. “Was it the one about the mermaid and the prince? I think you liked that one a little more than—“

“No!” Jeongin laughed as he playfully nudged Felix towards the door. “It’s a secret! I won’t tell you.”

Felix huffed. “Now that’s just mean, Innie,” he retorted, but complied nonetheless, pushing the door open and stepping outside.

It didn’t take long before Jeongin was done, clutching a small bag with a satisfied smile as he got out of the store. Felix could relate, that’s probably how he looked like whenever his uncle got him new books. “Thanks for waiting, hyung,” He said.

Felix smiled, finding himself happy at the sight of Jeongin’s satisfied smile. “No problem. Which way's your house?” he asked.

Jeongin pointed towards the way they came from. “That way,” He said. “We live at the edges of the village, since that’s where fields are.”

“Right,” Felix mumbled as they started walking. “Wooyoung hyung’s house is this way as well.”

“Yeah, it’s not that far from mine,” Jeongin said.

They walked as they talked, this time about Jeongin's family. Felix did his best to ignore how their shoulders brushed against each other once in a while.

Before long, they arrived at an intersection, where they have to go different ways.

“Thanks for letting me come with you today, hyung,” Jeongin said, smiling happily.

Felix shook his head. “Thanks for keeping me company. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” Jeongin said. He looked around, as if tying to make sure that no one was looking. Suddenly, in a swift, unexpected motion, he thrusted bag he’s been holding into Felix’s hands before he turned and rushed away.

Felix just stared blankly at the bag in his hands, blinking in confusion.

Jeongin was already a good distance away. With a quick glance back, he called out. “It’s a thank-you gift for being my friend. See you later, hyung!” he said, and then he was gone.

Still in shock, Felix stood like a statue for a whole minute. And then slowly, he opened the bag to see what’s inside.

The Warrior’s Treasure.

The book he had liked the most from the ones he found today.

Ah, Felix thought.

So this was how it feels like, to be so happy and so sad at the same time. To be the happiest and the saddest at the same time.

Clutching the bag close to his chest, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Thank you,” he whispered into the air, voice unsteady.

It was going to be okay. He was going to be the best friend he could be to Jeongin, and he will make sure the younger lives a long, happy life.

Nothing would be able to stop him.

Notes:

what can I say, I was inspired so the chapters are done faster than I expected 😂 also on the very bright side, it's weekend so I can write a lot more!

also i'm sorry, i forgot to tag this fic as slow burn (its added now) but yeah be warned that this is slow burn.

this is my very first skz fic, so thanks a lot for leaving such kind comments. :') have a great weekend!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 4: Revelations

The next few days were a little hectic for Felix. After Jeongin gave him the book he had walked back home in a daze, went into his room and then proceeded to stare at the book for twenty whole minutes.

He was surprised at how much it meant to him that for the first time in his life after getting his hands on a new book, he didn’t immediately start reading it. Instead, he carefully slipped it into his backpack, thinking that he’d read it some other days. One day.

He also thought that he wanted to give something back, not only to Jeongin but to Wooyoung and his family, so he spent the rest of the day thinking about getting a job. He had no idea how he was going to do that, but he was planning to ask Wooyoung about it.

For the next few days, he saw Jeongin every day, sometimes only in passing because the younger seemed to have a lot of errands. Other times, they would spend some time talking to each other. Jeongin had even introduced him to his family, that was really nice.

Seeing Jeongin with his family warmed his heart, a feeling he was familiar with since that was how he felt like when he looks at Wooyoung and his family.

Felix was talking to Jeongin as the younger was digging out potatoes on the field—he had wanted to help but Jeongin wouldn’t let him, so just watched helplessly as Jeongin worked, feeling guilty.

He saw something from the tail of his eyes and, he turned to see a familiar fox watching them, carefully eyeing Jeongin a few meters away.

“Seung!” Felix exclaimed, unable to contain his delight as he quickly approached his friend, Jeongin turned his head towards him before he followed his movements and saw Seung.

Felix was now in front of it, kneeling down as he patted its fur affectionately. “Oh, I’ve missed you!” He gushed.

For a moment, Seung let himself glance at his human friend, as if trying to convey that he also missed his company, so Felix beamed.

Seung’s eyes were soon back on Jeongin, who was approaching them slowly—his work forgotten.

“Hyung?” Jeongin asked.

Felix glanced back and flashed Jeongin a happy smile. “This is Seung. He’s a bit wary around humans, so you might not want to get too close. At least, not yet,” He said as his smile faded into wariness.

Jeongin stopped moving at that, nodding as he eyed Seung curiously.

“Is it your fox, hyung?”

“He’s my friend,” Felix corrected. “Where have you been? Did you go back home? Why are you back here, did uncle come home?” He asked Seung.

The fox just stared at him, and once again, Felix wished that Seung was a magical fox or something.

He had a feeling that the answer to his last question was no, though, so he sighed softly.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Felix said, before he stood back up. He saw Seung tilting his head, something he did whenever he found Felix lounging on the porch—his head buried in his book.

Felix always interpreted it as Seung asking wanna go explore?, so he would usually close his book, rush back inside to put it away and get the small backpack he takes with him whenever he was out exploring the forest.

It was no different this time.

Felix grinned—something inside him ached, something akin to longing. He hadn’t been in the forest ever since he stepped into the village, and he could feel it calling for him with its warmth and familiarity, like a soft buzz in the air.

Seung must’ve taken that as a yes, because it stood up and started running towards the forest. Felix’s eyes lit up, so he quickly followed suit.

“Hyung!” He heard Jeongin call.

He glanced back—almost forgetting that Jeongin was there with him. “Sorry, Innie! I’ll see you later!” he said before he turned on his heels, Seung was already halfway towards the the edges forest.

Jeongin called out again, sounding slightly frantic this time, but Felix was too caught up in his excitement to register it.

Before long, he caught up to Seung, who had stopped and waited for him once they were below the familiar shades of the thick trees.

Seung continued going when Felix almost caught up to him.

“Did you find some delicious wild berries?” Felix asked from behind him. Seung did it sometimes, he’d lead Felix to bushes of wild berries that he discovered. Felix always thought it was sweet, how the fox would share those with him.

Seung didn’t stop, nor did he slow down.

They continued like that for a while.

They were already quite deep within the forest now; and even though Felix was used to running around the forest with his fox friend, he was starting to breathe heavily from the speed they were going at.

Felix was about to call Seung one more time before he felt it.

The wrongness in the air.

In front of him, Seung seemed to have slowed down as well—he was now walking slowly, carefully, as if trying not to alert anything to their presence.

And then he saw it—thick, black dust floating upwards all around him. Or maybe those were ashes? He wasn't sure. He frowned, he had never seen anything like that before even though he had lived his entire life in the forest.

“What happened here?” Felix whispered. His eyes darted around frantically, trying to find the cause, but nothing stood out.

Felix wasn’t even sure if the sun hasn’t set—it shouldn’t, because he was sure he still had like two more hours before it did—but it felt like it has, it felt really dark. The trees are too thick here and the vile, the rotting area didn’t help.

He noticed that Seung was staring at him now, and Felix had a weird feeling that it was asking him to fix this, whatever this was.

Felix stared back at him helplessly, not sure what he could do.

His uncle was way more equipped for this. When he finds him, Felix will definitely tell him all about this.

An idea struck him. He could also try… looking through the books. Preferably his uncle’s books, but those are stored behind locked doors. He could still try going through some of his potions books, and the ones that are his uncle’s but were stored along with his books in their living room—he hadn’t read those yet.

But that means that he needed to go home.

Felix sighed. He supposed it was fine, because he was running out of potions too. He needed his potions. Noting his surroundings, he should be able to find this spot again with no problem—growing up in the forest had helped him notice other people might overlook, like how every tree is different and how different plants can clue him to different areas. Not to mention their trails, which will lead them straight back to the village.

“Come on, Seungie,” Felix said, voice tinged with a mixture of resignation and worry. “There’s nothing I can do now. We can try seeing if there’s anything in the books that can help, but we need to go back first. I can’t just go now, my bag’s at hyung’s house.”

If Seung could talk, Felix had a feeling that he would disagree. Fortunately—or unfortunately—he couldn’t, so they both turned to walk back to the village.

Felix remained silent the whole way back, occupied with his thoughts. He couldn’t figure out what would cause the forest to… look like that. He’s never seen that happen.

They took longer this time because they weren’t running. He was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t realize they were already getting close to the edge of the forest.

“Are you coming with me into the village?” Felix asked. Seung didn’t even glance at him this time, he just continued walking, so Felix took it as a yes.

Once they were out of the forest, he noticed that the sun had already set, and he saw lights a lot closer than they should be—those are people, he realized. People holding oil lamps.

He wasn’t exactly quiet, stepping on branches and rustling through the bushes, so they all stiffened as they turned towards his general direction. Squinting, he noticed Wooyoung was one of them.

“Hyung!” Felix called out. “What are you doing out he—“

“What the hell were you thinking?” Wooyoung was in front of him the next second, gripping his shoulders as he inspected him with a big frown on his face. He seemed furious.

Felix blinked slowly, confused at the situation; but then the fears he’d forgotten finally came back and his eyes widened, terrified that they’ve finally figured out that he was—

“You can’t just go into the forest like that, Felix! I told you it was dangerous!” The words rang in his ears before he realized the people behind Wooyoung was none other than his father, who was looking at Felix like he was disappointed him, and beside him was San and an older man who kinda looked like San, so it was probably his father.

Felix’s eyes zoomed in at the person behind them, though—Jeongin, who was staring at him like he was seeing a ghost.

Panic welled up within him as he gulped, realizing that he was probably in trouble. “I’m sorry?” He muttered quietly, voice unsure.

“You better be!” Wooyoung snapped, his anger still evident. Felix flinched at that—his friend was one of the kindest people he had ever met, but he was terrifying when he was angry.

Felix opened his mouth to apologize again, but he found himself pulled into a tight hug.

He could feel it now—how fast Wooyoung’s heart was beating—and he felt guilt gnawing on his insides. He hugged him back slowly, catching San’s eyes to see if it was fine. The older just smiled at him, so he hugged Wooyoung just as tightly.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” He repeated. This time it didn’t sound like a question, so Felix felt like Wooyoung accepted his apology.

Fortunately for him, there wasn’t any more scolding afterwards. Mr. Jung just patted his shoulder, and San gave him a shoulder hug—his Father nodding and smiling at Felix. They were all walking back towards the village now, and it was then Felix realized that Jeongin hasn’t said a word.

He remained at the back of the group, so Felix slowed down his pace to walk alongside him.

“Innie?” Felix asked tentatively. “I’m sorry,” He added, deciding that it was probably the best thing he could say right now.

Jeongin was silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether he wanted to talk to Felix or whether he should give him the silent treatment. But then he turned to face him and sighed, lips in a very slight pout. Felix would’ve found it endearing if it wasn’t for the underlying anger.

“Don’t ever do that again,” He spoke quietly, tone filled with lingering frustration.

Feliz swallowed, his throat dry. “Okay,” He replied, voice barely above a whisper. “I won’t. Please don’t be angry.”

His eyes softened at that, but he remained silent.

In hindsight, Felix wasn’t sure if he was to blame; since he didn’t think they’d freak out that much about him going into the forest. Wooyoung and his family knew he lived there, and sure, his hyung did say something about Mr. Jung getting attacked by a beast, but beasts belong in the forest just as trees belong there, so it wasn’t that surprising.

Felix has met beasts in the forest before, of course. Some were very territorial, so he’d learned not to trespass and he was mostly left alone.

If anything, he was more worried about the insects and snakes—those are trickier to deal with because they’re smaller and some of them were poisonous.

Sure, he had been attacked by a cougar before, but he survived thanks to Seung and Seok—who came to his defense growling at the cougar. Seok was another one his animal friend.

Now he’s wondering how Seok and his other friends were doing. He saw Seung slipping away when Wooyoung was yelling at him earlier, he must be back in the forest.

He was jolted out from his thoughts when Innie gave his arm a gentle squeeze. This is where they go their separate ways—Jeongin’s house was right beside San’s, so they bid their goodbyes while Wooyoung, Felix and Mr. Jung said their thanks.

“Just so you know, Mom’s like mad mad. You’re so doomed,” Wooyoung told him once they’re out of earshot, sounding like he pitied him a little.

Felix groaned inwardly. He had witnessed Wooyoung getting an earful on multiple occasions, but he’s never been on the receiving side.

“Good luck with that,” Mr. Jung ruffled his hair before he started walking, leading the way.

“Oh, you’re going to need that,” Wooyoung remarked, following his father’s lead. Felix frowned, trailing them behind.

Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too bad.

 

---

 

It was that bad. Wooyoung and his father all but ran to their respective rooms the moment they arrived, leaving Felix alone to deal with Mrs. Jung and her terrifying glare.

She wasted no time launching into a whole hour of lecture about the dangers of the forest,—seemingly not caring for the fact that Felix had been living in the forest his entire life. She expressed how very worried they were and how disappointed she was in him. But then she gave him a long hug afterwards, and he could feel her relaxing, so it wasn’t all that bad. Felix was grounded the next day, so he spent his whole day helping around in the inn, even when Wooyoung went out after lunch to fish with San and Jeongin.

Thankfully, he was free to go the next day. Wooyoung was going to help San with work that day as they’ve just got a big order. Felix offered his help, saying that he’ll help him out with anything tomorrow. Emphasis on tomorrow, because today Felix was planning to hang around the market, and maybe even paying the bookstore another visit.

“Well, look who’s here,” A voice said from behind him. “If it isn’t the most beautiful person in town.”

Felix rolled his eyes, not even having to turn around to know who it was. He glanced behind him to see Minhyuk, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Not as beautiful as you, hyung,” Felix replied easily.

Minhyuk’s grin went a little wider, looking like he was proud that Felix could finally play his game.

Felix had stumbled onto him several times now. He found out from Wooyoung that Minhyuk was older, and that he was one of the few nobles living in Duskwood. The way the villagers always seemed to be on guard—eyeing him warily whenever he talked to Felix—made sense now.

Casually, Minhyuk slung his arm around Felix’s shoulder, falling into step beside him. “So… What are you up to today?”

“Just going to hang around the market,” Felix said, a little distracted as he flashed the people nearby a friendly smile—he knew a lot of them by name now. They returned it awkwardly, a contrast compared to the wide and welcoming smile they always greeted him with.

Minhyuk was a good guy. A little flirty and teasing, but a good guy nevertheless. Felix wished the others wouldn’t be so nervous when he’s around.

“Ooh, mind if I come with you?” Felix hummed, giving it a thought. Of course he didn’t mind Minhyuk coming with him, he enjoyed his company, but he couldn’t say the same with the merchants and people in the market.

He wasn’t only concerned about the people, but also about Minhyuk. He never showed any resentment, but he definitely noticed how the villagers act around him. It couldn’t be too pleasant; Felix always thought that his eyes looked a little harder whenever he interacted with them, despite his constant smile.

“Actually, I’ve changed my mind. It looks like the perfect day to relax by the lake,” Felix said. “Would you like to come along?”

“I would love to go anywhere if it was with you,” Minhyuk replied. Felix shook his head exasperatedly, smiling fondly. “Come on, then.” The older said as he grabbed his hand, leading him out of the bustling village and towards the lake.

Felix allowed himself to be pulled along, wondering if he could make his friends give Minhyuk a chance. He had a feeling that he would get along well with Wooyoung and San, if only both parties were willing to try.

Unfortunately for him, the average villagers were always suspicious towards the nobles—San told him that just a few decades ago, the nobles were cruel and the Lord of the village was corrupt, so Felix couldn’t blame them. He was sure Minhyuk and the other noble families were aware of the sentiment; not that he’s met any other nobles, but he was sure that was the case.

Arriving at the lake, devoid of any other people, they came to a stop.

Minhyuk finally released his hand. Closing his eyes, he took the deepest breath, savoring the fresh air and taking in the beautiful scenery.

Felix did the same. Being out here at the lake where there’s no one around—surrounded by trees and the faint sounds of buzzing insects—made him feel right at home.

Minhyuk looked around, eyes lighting up a little when he found the perfect patch of grass. Giving Felix a gentle nudge, he guided him towards the spot before settling down on the ground—not caring how it would make his expensive-looking pants dirty. Patting the spot beside him, he caught Felix’s eyes, smiling in satisfaction as the younger sat down beside him.

Minhyuk let out a soft sigh. “The lake is definitely my favorite part of the village.”

“The lake is outside the village, hyung,” Felix pointed out.

Turning to Felix with a playful smile on his face, Minhyuk replied, “Exactly.”

Felix chuckled. “I think you’d love my house, then,” He said. “It’s in the middle of nowhere, and nothing beats the scenery.”

Minhyuk hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe I could come with you when you go home,” He suggested. “I’ll certainly love it, as long as we’re able to get there in one piece.”

“I won’t let any guests of mine lose any body parts before they get to see my house,” Felix huffed. Honestly, everyone and their fear of the forest.

“Oh, so you have no problem letting that happen once they do?”

“No promises,” Felix grinned.

Minhyuk gasped, pretending to be offended. “I can’t lose my arms. How am I going to hug you without them?”

“Don’t worry, hyung, you can leave all the hugging to me.”

Minhyuk grinned, raising his eyebrows playfully. “Would that offer still stands if I’m perfectly whole, no body parts missing?”

Felix laughed at that. “You’re impossible.”

“Impossible to resist.”

“Fates, stop.”

They grinned at each other. Their friendly banter never failed to brighten their day.

It was easy, being with Minhyuk. Felix didn’t initially like how much Minhyuk teased him, but once he’s gotten used to it, he found that he didn’t mind—in fact, he thought that their banters were fun.

They sat in comfortable silence for a little while, enjoying the beautiful scenery and each other’s company.

“Say hyung, have you met your soulmate?” Felix found himself asking. It was a little funny, how easy it was to ask the question when even thinking about soulmates when Wooyoung, San or Jeongin was around was usually too much for him. Somehow, with Minhyuk, it was easy to ask the question.

Minhyuk raised his eyebrows, surprised by the sudden question. “Why the interest?” He asked, and for a second Felix thought that he’d offended him. “Are you worried I’m not available? I’m always available for someone as beautiful as you, Lixie, you know th—“

“Hyung,” Felix whined. “I’m asking a serious question.”

“And I’m giving you a serious answer,” Minhyuk smirked. Felix pouted. “No, I haven’t met mine,” He finally said.

“Oh,” Felix responded softly. “Do you want to?”

Minhyuk was silent for a few seconds before he spoke up. “I don’t know.”

That was unexpected.

“Can I ask you why?”

Minhyuk hummed. “Perhaps I feel that we should be able to choose the person we’ll spend our lives with,” he said. “It’s a little ludicrous how something out there determines it for us the moment we’re born.”

That made him think. He used to think that the concept of soulmates was the best thing ever, because wouldn’t it be so perfect to be with someone who was destined to be with you?

Now he agreed with Minhyuk, though.

“I mean, what if they’re wrong? What if your soulmate isn’t the right person for you, what if they’re your worst match?” Minhyuk continued, his lips pressing together in a slight grimace.

“No, hyung,” Felix said, making the older look at him. “For someone as amazing and kind as you, there’s definitely someone just as amazing and kind out there. I know it.”

He blinked a few times, looking like what Felix said caught him off-guard, but a fond smile bloomed on his face. “Do you believe the same thing for yourself, Lix?”

Now it’s Felix’s turn to be caught off-guard. “I…” He trailed off, momentarily lost for words. “I guess not,” He admitted, surprised at how honest be was being right now.

The smile on Minhyuk’s face turned a little sad at that. “Do you want to meet your soulmate?”

Felix wanted to laugh at that, since it's a little too late. “Maybe not,” He replied quietly. Not that he regretted meeting Jeongin, but them meeting poses a risk for Jeongin; and he’d rather—he had decided that he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life alone and away, if that meant his soulmate was safe.

“Why not?”

“Because they deserve better,” Felix said before he was able to stop himself.

Minhyuk frowned, and before Felix knew it, his hands were on his face as he squishes and stretched his cheeks.

“Hyung!” Felix yelped as he tried to pry Minhyuk’s hands away.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard you say, Felix,” He said, face turning serious like he has never seen before—making Felix freeze. “Anyone would be lucky to have you,” He said firmly.

That was kind, and Felix knew he meant well, so he stopped himself from saying trust me, lucky is the last word you’d use to describe the person destined to be my soulmate.

Instead, he gave Minhyuk the most genuine smile he could muster at that moment as he muttered his thanks.

 

---

 

Felix thought that he’d have to put in quite the effort to make Jeongin forgive him because he’s never seen him mad before. To his surprise, it didn’t take that much at all—at least in his opinion. He spotted some wildflowers around the lake, so he had picked some of them—telling Minhyuk that he was planning to use it as an apology gift when the older questioned what he was doing.

He has read a number of books where the characters use gifts as the means of reconciliation and it always worked, so he decided that he should give it a try.

It was the best he could do currently since he still didn’t have any money—or a job. He had the idea to get some wild berries, fruits and even some medicinal herbs as a peace offering, but he needed to find those in the forest and he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be a good peace offering since it’s more likely to make the younger even madder.

When he finally found Jeongin later on that day, be blurted out his apologies and handed him the flowers—feeling really embarrassed because that was the best he could give, but Jeongin’s blank expression melted into a smile, his hands caressing the flowers gently—so Felix knew he was forgiven.

He was beyond relieved. Seeing Jeongin angry was the worst because he was usually always smiling but his smile was gone entirely after the forest incident.

Felix spent the next day with Jeongin, Wooyoung, and San, fulfilling his promise to help out with San’s work. They were now taking a break after they finished eating the delicious lunch San’s Mother prepared for them.

Things were a little easier now that he was learning to accept that him and Jeongin were friends, and will continue to be. That didn’t mean that everything’s fine, though, because he was worried about Jeongin. He didn’t want him to live his life alone, always searching for the soulmate who was hidden right under his nose; the soulmate he couldn’t be with.

Felix hoped that he was like Minhyuk, who didn’t really care about soulmates and destiny that much; having the desire to look for their own person regardless.

“Hyung!” Jeongin was approaching him, a bright smile on his face. Behind him in a distance, Wooyoung and San were engaged in some sort of a heated debate, looking like they were going to throw hands sometime soon.

Not that it mattered, because all Felix saw at this moment was Jeongin’s smile.

It was so unfair. If Felix couldn’t be with his soulmate, at the very least the fates should’ve let him spend his whole life never meeting them. Then he wouldn’t know what he was missing.

But no. He had to meet him, and on top of that he had to be so charming and kind.

The fates definitely had it out for him.

“Hyung?” Jeongin said, snapping Felix out of his thoughts. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Felix said sheepishly. “Just thinking.”

“About?” Jeongin prompted. He sat down beside Felix and turned to face him, looking concerned.

“Just… life,” Felix said helplessly.

Jeongin hummed. “What’s up with life?” he asked. “Are you worried about your uncle again, hyung?”

“Yeah,” Felix said a little too quickly. Right, what was he doing? He was supposed to be thinking about his uncle. Not… not whatever it was he was thinking about.

“You’re going to find him,” Jeongin reassured him. Glancing briefly at Wooyoung and San, who were kinda wrestling each other now. “I can feel it.”

Felix smiled at that. “Thanks, Innie,” he said. “Honestly, some days I feel like I’ll never find him, so it’s really nice that I have you,” he added, faltering when he realized what he just said. “You… guys. I meant, you guys. As like, friends.” He groaned internally. He needed to shut up, why did he have to be—

He almost jumped at the sound of Jeongin’s laugh.

He just sat there and stared, wanting to punch himself in the face because Jeongin was laughing at him but all he could think of was how he wished Jeongin could stay that way forever, so carefree and happy.

“I know, hyung,” Jeongin said, wiping the tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes. “We’ll definitely find your uncle, alright? So don’t look so sad like that, I like it when you’re happy.”

Damn it all.

“I wasn’t sad,” Felix protested—Felix lied. He wasn’t sad about his uncle, he was sad about Jeongin, but the younger didn’t need to know that. “Was just thinking.”

Jeongin grinned, pushing himself up and offering his hand. “Let’s go then. We should do something about those two, they’re going to hurt themselves if they don’t stop.”

Felix took his hand and let him pull him up. Muttering a quick thanks to Jeongin, he turned towards Wooyoung and San.

“Hyung! Stop fighting already!” He called out.

His words fell must’ve fallen on deaf ears, because they ignored him entirely. Felix huffed in frustration as he walked towards them. “Honestly, sometimes I feel like they should call us hyung instead of the other way around,” He said, making Jeongin laugh.

“Trust me,” He said with a knowing smile. “I know exactly how you feel.”

They shared a grin before Felix turned his attention back to his hyungs. He crossed arms, ready to lecture the two before he felt sharp pain on his stomach, like he had been kicked or something.

He froze, eyes darting quickly towards Jeongin who was just as still as him, eyes wide. He definitely felt that as well, and they both were aware that neither of them had been kicked on the stomach because they were standing right next to each other.

Felix wasn’t sure whether to cry or cheer, because of course he had another soulmate, which means that Jeongin didn’t need him, and he would be just fine without him.

He wasn’t surprised when he realized that the relief was stronger than the pain because he was cursed to live a life of solitude and heartbreak, but he has always wanted the opposite for his soulmate.

His soulmates.

Notes:

Oh Felix, you have more than just another soulmate. 😂

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 5: Potions Problem

Summary:

“I think he’s my soulmate,” Jeongin confessed, his voice laced with uncertainty. “But I have no proof.”

Felix has not seen Jeongin for two days.

Yes, he knew that he was being dramatic, but it was a new record—he’s never not see him for two consecutive days after they became friends. Felix was always out and about and they lived in the same part of the village so even if the younger was busy helping his father or with errands, they would still run into each other, at the very least.

Felix wasn’t sure what happened; he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease, wondering if he had done something wrong. Jeongin had become unusually quiet after Felix had successfully made Wooyoung and San stop wrestling each other the other day, and that was the last time Felix saw him.

He was a little relieved in a way, because he also needed the time to process the fact that he had another soulmate; but now he was worried about Jeongin. Felix wondered if Jeongin’s worried about their—his soulmate, since they clearly got hurt; they must’ve taken a kick or a punch on their stomach or something. He couldn’t feel any lingering pain, so he thought they were fine, but then he couldn’t be so sure since if the pain is too faint he wouldn’t be able to feel it.

He would’ve been a lot more stressed about Jeongin if he didn’t have his mind preoccupied with something else—his potions. He had five vials left, which would last him for another ten days since he had to drink one vial every two days. The journey back home would take him five days, so that meant that he would have to leave soon.

He had been racking his brain about how he would bring it up to Wooyoung and his parents because he could already imagine their reaction. Not to mention Jeongin; something’s clearly wrong with the younger and Felix didn’t want to make things worse.

But he needed his potions—that wasn’t negotiable.

“Say hyung,” Felix started. They were both lounging in the living room after they took care of the dishes. Mr. Jung was out fishing with his friends while Mrs. Jung had retired into her bedroom after lunch, muttering about having a nap. “If I potentially, hypothetically, really need to go into the forest to get something very important, would that be—what would you think about it?”

Wooyoung, who had been lying down on the floor, slowly got up into a sitting position as Felix spoke. They stared at each other for a few seconds, Felix was blinking anxiously while Wooyoung was slowly squinting at him.

“Mooom—“

The moment Felix saw his mouth move, he lunged forward and tackled Wooyoung, hands desperately covering his mouth to stop him from ending his life.

Wooyoung glared at him—although he didn’t make any move to pry his hands from his mouth. Felix glared back because he was annoyed the older immediately decided that selling him out was the best choice.

They remained in that position for a moment, Felix straining his ears for any sound or movement from Mrs. Jung's bedroom. When he didn't hear anything, he breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Wooyoung hadn't woken her.

“Hyung, it’s a hypothetical question!” Felix said as he pulled away, face pinched in annoyance.

“Wow, thanks for finally letting me breathe,” Wooyoung said instead, crossing his arms.

Felix rolled his eyes. “You can breathe just fine,” He said. “Besides, you didn’t answer my question.”

Wooyoung started squinting at him again. “Why are you hypothetically asking this question?” He asked slowly.

“It’s just a question.”

“Ha-ha, nice try. Now try again, with the truth this time.”

“I might or might not need to get some important things,” Felix admitted eventually, after realizing that Wooyoung wasn’t going to budge.

“Okay,” Wooyoung said cautiously. “What could you possibly get in the forest that you can’t get here?”

“Not the forest,” Felix sighed. “I mean, yes, the forest, but more specifically… from back home.”

Wooyoung frowned. “Didn’t you say that your house is located very deep within the forest?”

“I didn’t say it’s very deep in the forest,” Felix defended. “But I guess it’s kinda deep in the forest?”

“Lix,” Wooyoung sighed. “How long did it take for you to get here?”

“Five days,” Felix said quickly, hoping that Wooyoung would agree since it didn't take that long.

“Five days?!”

“I can make it four,” He revised. He could run as much as he can instead of walking and make it three, maybe. But he would definitely collapse the moment he arrives. Thinking that collapsing might not be the best thing to do when he’s back—everyone would probably never let him step into the forest ever—he refrained from promising three days to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung’s expression told Felix that he was thinking that four days wasn’t any different to five, which was ridiculous because he would have to run a considerable distance if he wanted to reach the village in four days, and he’d have to take less breaks.

“I know you’ve lived in the forest your whole life,” Wooyoung started, his voice quiet. “I mean, I don’t know how you managed to do that, but you did. I understand that you might think it’s ridiculous for us to worry about you going into the forest, but it’s not without reason.”

Felix remained silent, urging Wooyoung to continue.

“I’m sorry, but I think you getting to the village in one piece, all the way from your house, might’ve been luck. And luck is feeble, it’s unpredictable, and it’s definitely unreliable,” Wooyoung continued. “The forest is dangerous, Lix; and it’s not just about the beasts and the animals. It’s something more. There’s just something wrong with the forest, something I can’t place, and I know I’m not hallucinating because everyone else feels the same even if we don’t talk about it,” He said. “I can’t explain it. Maybe you can’t sense it because you’ve been there your entire life, so you’ve gotten used to it. But there’s something vile in there, something dangerous. I just know it. I can feel it.”

“Okay…” Felix mumbled. He guessed that was possible, him being so used to the forest that he couldn’t sense anything wrong with it.

“And it’s not—it’s not just feelings and stuff. The forest has taken lives before, Lix.”

Now that really got his attention. “It did?” He asked softly.

Wooyoung nodded sadly. “Not recently, because at this point everyone understands that the forest isn’t safe,” He explained. “But people have gone into it and they never came back. Sure, the last one happened years ago… But that’s still…” Wooyoung sighed, frustration etched on his face as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you remember how upset Jeongin was, after you ran off to the forest?”

Felix nodded mutely.

“That’s because years ago, his uncle went into the forest and never came back,” Wooyoung said grimly. “He was the last one. He was really close to Innie, too, being the one who taught him to fish. He’d wait and wait, just staring at the forest until it’s time to go home, hoping to see his uncle return, but he never did.”

And if that didn’t break Felix’s heart, he wasn’t sure what will. Because he might know a thing or two about missing uncles.

“Oh,” Felix said weakly.

Wooyoung offered him a sad smile. “The same thing happened to my grandpa’s dad—my great grandpa? My great grandpa’s sister.”

Felix swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

Wooyoung shook his head. “It has happened to a number of villagers over the years. It’s really great that we’ve finally gotten the note about how dangerous the forest is, so nobody went missing these recent years,” He said. “That’s why Innie was terrified, he was panicking like I’ve never seen him when he found us after you left, and of course, we panicked too. We were scared something’s happened to you. Innie was… We were so close to going into the forest to find you. If our fathers weren’t there, I think we would’ve.”

Felix let the words sink, feeling dread in his stomach.

“Hyung, I’m so, so sorry,” he muttered, overwhelmed with guilt.

Wooyoung opened his arms, so Felix all but jumped into his arms. The older have been a lot more physically affectionate ever since Felix did the forest stunt—he’s always been physically affectionate, but Felix felt like he gave him hugs almost every other day now.

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty,” Wooyoung said gently. “I just want to help you understand why we’re so against anyone going into the forest. I care about you, yeah? We care about you. You’re like family to me, Lix. I mean, yeah, it hasn’t been that long since you came here, but I think of you as my little brother.”

Felix had to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill now. “I’ve always wanted a big brother,” He said, before he added, “Someone cooler would’ve been great, but I guess you’re cool enough, too.”

“Excuse me?” Wooyoung gasped, pulling away slightly. “I’m the coolest brother anyone could ever have!”

“You’d be cooler if your first instinct when I confide in you wasn’t to sell me out.”

“By fates,” Wooyoung groaned. “You’ve been spending too much time with Jeongin!”

Felix snickered, but that dampened his mood a little. “I haven’t seen him the past few days,” He pouted. The past two days and twenty-one hours, almost three days, really. He’s not counting.

“He’s probably a little busy,” Wooyoung said warily. “You know that he’s going to the capital with his dad in a few days. I think they got a little busy preparing for that.”

“Right,” Felix said, he forgot about that. “I hope I’ll get to see him before he goes.”

“You will,” Wooyoung smiled, ruffling his hair affectionately. “I have a feeling you will.”

 

---

 

Wooyoung wasn’t surprised when he found his childhood friend behind the chickens coop—where the Yang family kept their chickens—later on that day. Jeongin used to go there whenever he was upset, since it’s away from his house but not far enough that he couldn’t hear it if his parents called for him.

“Hey, Innie,” Wooyoung said as he settled down beside Jeongin. “Why are you hiding here?”

Jeongin’s face twitched, but he kept his gaze fixed ahead, not bothering to turn to Wooyoung. “I’m not hiding.”

“Yes, you are,” Wooyoung insisted, his tone light. “Are you hiding from a certain freckled boy?”

“I’m not hiding, hyung,” Jeongin repeated, voice hard.

“Because he’s been sad, you know. Sulking around because he hasn’t seen you. He misses you.”

That finally made Jeongin turn to him, his expression softening. “Felix hyung misses me?” he asked, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and longing.

“Oh? I never said it was Felix,” Wooyoung grinned mischievously. Jeongin shoved him hard, glaring.

“Please leave, hyung,” he said tiredly, looking away. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“Come on, Innie,” Wooyoung urged. “What happened? Talk to me. Did he break your heart?”

Jeongin’s head snapped back towards Wooyoung, his eyes wide with a mixture of shock and fear. “Why would you think—he didn’t—”

Wooyoung just smiled kindly. “I know you like him.”

A few seconds of silence passed between them.

“No, I don’t,” Jeongin whispered, his voice barely audible. It strangely sounded like the truth.

“Please,” Wooyoung said. “I’ve known you your whole life, and you never look at anyone like that.”

“Like what?” Jeongin asked, sounding like he was afraid of the answer.

“Like he’s the whole world,” Wooyoung said knowingly. “Like he hung the stars just for you, like it’s spring all year-round when you’re with him, like the world sucks but it stopped sucking when you met him, like—”

“Okay,” Jeongin said, his voice a little too loud. “I get it, hyung. You can stop now,” He said, sounding miserable as he let out a sigh. “Maybe… I kinda have a crush on him, but that’s it.”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes fondly. “First of all, this is the first time I’ve heard you say the word crush without looking like you’re going to puke. Second, you’ve never actively tried to get to know anyone new, but you’ve been following him around like a lost puppy ever since he arrived. You ask me about him every day, I don’t even ask about San that often,” He said teasingly. Jeongin opened his mouth to defend himself, but Wooyoung didn’t let him. “You never willingly let me or San touch you, but I saw him ruffle your hair the other day and I’ve never seen you happier. And I know you hate getting your hair ruffled,” He said. “Also, you call him hyung.”

“I call all of you hyung,” Jeongin quickly retorted, sounding annoyed.

“Not like that,” Wooyoung said, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “So, my dear Innie, I think this is a little more than a crush.”

They sat in silence then, Wooyoung seemed to give him time to process. To think. To admit.

“No,” Jeongin said quietly. “Don’t say it. Please.”

Wooyoung studied him carefully, his gaze calculating and thoughtful as if he was trying to solve a riddle. "What's got you so afraid, Innie?" He asked, his voice soft and gentle.

And that’s the question, wasn’t it? What’s gotten him so afraid? He hated being afraid, he hated it when people think he’s afraid, but it was undoubtedly fear—the thing that’s been making it a little harder to breathe, the thing that’s been making him run.

“I think he’s my soulmate,” Jeongin confessed, his voice laced with uncertainty. “But I have no proof.”

“I can certainly help with that,” Wooyoung offered casually. “I can shove him or something, he’ll fall, and then you’ll know.”

“You’re not going to shove him,” Jeongin snapped back a little harshly. “No shoving, no hitting. Maybe you can pinch his arm a little or something, but like, not too hard, don’t hurt him or anything.”

Wooyoung’s smile got a little wider by the second, until he was grinning like a madman.

“If you say anything right now, I’m going to punch you.”

“It wounds my heart how you’re so violent towards me but so helplessly… sweet, when it comes to him,” Wooyoung remarked as he pushed himself up, already darting away from Jeongin, who reached out in an attempt to grab him to do something unpleasant.

“Get back here!” Jeongin barked. “Hyung!

 

---

 

Alright, so, new plan.

Felix needed his potions, but he couldn't go back home to get them. Sure, he knew the recipe, but he couldn’t brew it here because one of the ingredients—Heart’s Inkberry—could only be found in the mountains, which was like a whole day away from his house. Sure, he had started growing it home for convenience, but he still couldn’t go home for now; not after that conversation with Wooyoung. It would be cruel to do it after he understood the reason behind everyone’s fears.

Fortunately, there was an alternative potion that was easier to brew, and Felix was sure that he could find the ingredients without venturing too deep into the forest. However, he still needed to enter the forest without alerting his friends.

He was with Minhyuk by the lake again today, which had become their safe haven somehow.

“Would you help me with something, hyung?”Felix asked hesitantly. Minhyuk was his only hope now. But if he was going to get Minhyuk’s help, he’d have to be honest with him. Or at least, partially honest—or as honest as was possible at the moment.

“Why, I’m not even going to ask with what before saying yes,” Minhyuk replied cheerfully. “I’ll help you with anything, Lixie.”

“That’s really kind of you,” Felix said, a mix of exasperation and gratitude in his voice.

Minhyuk laughed. “I mean it. What is it? Tell me.”

“Well,” Felix sighed. “The thing is, there are a few important things I need, and I left them because I didn’t expect I’d be gone for this long,” He explained. “Now I need them, but they’re back at home and everyone freaks out about the forest so I can’t exactly go home because it’s in the forest.”

“Right,” Minhyuk said slowly. “I think it’s good, that you’re not going home.”

Felix glared at him, feeling a little betrayed. “I thought you said that you wanted to come see my house.”

“I do,” Minhyuk retorted. “But I also want to not go into the forest.”

Felix groaned.

“What is it that you need, Lix?” Minhyuk asked, his expression serious. “I’m sure you can get it in the market? Or in the capital. I’ll help you with it; I’ll buy it for you, even, it’s fine. Money’s not an issue.”

“No, no, no,” Felix disagreed immediately. “No. I don’t want you to buy me anything.”

“Money’s not an issue,” Minhyuk repeated firmly. “I have a lot of them lying around and I don’t need them. There’s nothing that would make me happier than getting you something you need.”

“No,” Felix said. “It’s not—it’s just—,” He sighed.

Minhyuk waited.

“There’s a potion,” Felix started. “It’s homemade, my uncle’s recipe, really. It’s something that I need, and I still have a lot of them back home. I brought as much as I could with me, but I really didn’t expect to stay that long, so I’m running out of them.”

“What potion? Surely, there’s an alternative. We can look around in the market, or even pay the Sorcerer a visit. She might be able to help you.”

“Well, yeah, I was thinking of brewing a different one, because the ingredient for my potion is not available here,” Felix said warily. “It’s not as good, I think, but it should be enough for me. But… I still need to scavenge for ingredients in the forest.”

Minhyuk opened his mouth, ready to disagree.

“I could probably—definitely find them in like, the edges of the forest. I won’t even have to go far into it,” Felix added hastily, hoping to convince Minhyuk. “So I was thinking that maybe you’d help me, you know,” He cleared his throat. “Lie.”

“Really, now?” Minhyuk deadpanned.

“It’s nothing bad, I just—like I’ll just tell them that I spent the day with you when they asked where I went,” Felix said. “So that I have an alibi or something.”

“Alright, listen,” Minhyuk sighed, clasping his hands. “In any other circumstances, I’d love to help you lie, Lix. But this is different, the forest is—”

“Dangerous,” Felix interrupted. “I know, hyung. Which is why I won’t venture deep into it, just a little. The ingredients aren’t hard to find,” He explained.

“Okay, then I’ll come with you.”

“No,” Felix was quick to disagree, mind going back to the weird, rotting area he found. Sure, he was fine after, but he wasn’t going to risk anyone else. Especially since he hadn't figured out what it was. “I’ll be quicker if I go by myself. Plus, I won’t actually be alone. Seung, my fox friend, would be with me.”

That one was a lie because Felix hadn’t seen Seung in a while, but he was so desperate for Minhyuk to agree that he felt like he did a decent job with lying this time. He hoped.

Minhyuk blinked. “You have a fox friend?”

“I do,” Felix beamed. “He’s the fiercest. He always keeps me safe, but he hates being around other humans. If you come, he might freak out.”

Minhyuk hummed thoughtfully, looking like he was finally considering Felix's idea. “And what are the other things you need?”

“Other things?”

“You said that there are a few important things you need,” Minhyuk reminded him, eyebrows raised.

“Oh... Books, I guess. There are a few things I need to look into, potions and stuff… There are a few of my uncle’s books that I’ve never read, so I was thinking that I could also get them if I went back home.”

“I can help with that,” Minhyuk offered quickly.

“Hyung, I don’t want you to buy—”

“I’m not buying you books,” Minhyuk interjected. “But you can come and visit my place, we have a library. I’m pretty sure there are potion books there, so you can read them. Borrow them.”

“You have a library in your house?” Felix asked, eyes wide with awe.

“Most nobles do,” Minhyuk shrugged nonchalantly, like it’s not a big deal.

“That’s—wow. That’s just amazing,” Felix said, eyes glazing dreamily for a second. “But are you sure it's fine for me to visit your house? I’m not.. I’m not a noble. Will it be fine for me to visit your house? Will your parents be alright with it? Will everyone else?”

“Please,” Minhyuk scoffed. “It’s fine. My mom’s the best, I’ve told her about you and she loves you already. My dad… Well, he’s probably not fine with it, but he’s never fine with anything, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Hyung,” Felix whined, concerned about the potential trouble he might cause.

“Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll make sure that he’s not home or something. Even if he was, he spends most of his time in his office anyways, so it’ll be fine. He doesn’t pay attention to anything that’s not related to money, so he probably wouldn’t even notice that you’re there,” Minhyuk assured him. “Besides, I’ll do my best to make sure we avoid crossing paths with him. I'm an expert at that; I do it every day.”

Now that’s sad and disturbing on so many levels, but Felix could see that his friend didn’t want him to pry, so he didn’t.

“I mean…” Felix hesitated, “Only if I’m not troubling you. You sure you won’t get in trouble with your father if I come?”

“You’re sweet for worrying about that,” Minhyuk smiled fondly. “But I've been in trouble with my father since the day I was born, so you shouldn’t.”

“Hyung,” Felix said sadly, unsure what to say.

Minhyuk waved his hand dismissively. “It's all good. So, I'll figure things out and let you know when it's a good time for you to come. When are you planning to look for your ingredients?”

“The sooner, the better,” Felix replied. “Maybe in two days?”

“Okay,” Minhyuk nodded. “I’ll stay at home when you do. That way, no one would spot me out and about without you and figure out that you’re lying.”

“Oh,” Felix muttered, he didn’t think of that at all. “Right, good idea. Thanks, hyung.”

“Promise me you’ll be safe?” Minhyuk pleaded, looking genuinely concerned. “No disappearing, no getting hurt, yeah? Because I will never forgive myself if I helped you lie, only for you to get hurt or disappear.”

“I promise.”

Minhyuk studied him for a moment, as if trying to gauge the truth behind his words, and after a few seconds, he nodded.

Felix let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, relieved that he had somehow figured a way to solve his problem.

He hoped it will all go as smoothly as they planned.

 

---

 

To Felix’s dismay, he didn’t get to meet Jeongin later on that day and the next day; which sucked because today, Jeongin and his father were leaving for the capital. They’re going right after lunch.

While a part of Felix felt sad about Jeongin going far away, he focused on the fact that with Jeongin's absence, there were fewer people he needed to lie to.

They were now saying goodbye to Jeongin and his father. His mother was talking quietly with his father while San and Wooyoung took turns giving Jeongin a hug. Felix stood behind them with a content smile, happy that Jeongin have always had such good friends who care about him. The younger was always flinching away whenever they try to hug him, but strangely enough, he let both Wooyoung and San hug him without fighting back today. They were speaking in hushed voices as they hugged, so Felix couldn’t really hear what they were saying.

After Wooyoung pulled away, Jeongin's eyes finally met Felix's, and Felix's face lit up—happy to see him after so long.

“Hi, Innie,” Felix greeted him warmly. Wooyoung and San stepped back, giving them time to say their goodbyes.

“Hey, hyung,” Jeongin said with his usual smile, although it seemed somewhat lacking.

“Are you okay?” Felix asked, voice laced with concern. “You look tired.”

“Lots to do before the trip,” Jeongin quickly replied. “Sorry I haven’t been able to see you.”

“It’s okay,” Felix reassured him, his tone gentle. “I understand. You don’t need to see me, I’d be happier if you spend your free time resting,” He said, frowning a little when he realized the younger really looked like he was exhausted—like he hadn't been sleeping.

“I’m okay, hyung,” Jeongin said softly. “I’ll get plenty of rest on the way.”

Felix glanced at the carriage behind Jeongin. Wooyoung had mentioned that the capital was a little over a day's travel by horse, so Jeongin would likely have the opportunity to catch up on sleep during the journey.

“That’s good,” He said, smiling as his gaze locked with Jeongin's.

“When I’m back, let’s hang out?” Jeongin asked, sounding unsure. “We can go to the bookstore again.”

“Of course,” Felix agreed easily. “We can go anywhere, it doesn’t have to be the bookstore. You can choose.”

“Promise me, hyung?” Jeongin asked, his voice carrying a tinge of desperation.

“Of course, Innie,” Felix responded, his words a bit slower as he started feeling like maybe something was really wrong, but he couldn’t point out what. “I promise we’ll hang out when you’re back.”

“Okay,” Jeongin said, his voice tinged with relief.

They both stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do—Felix was still trying to figure out what was wrong while Jeongin was just looking like he was lost.

He was about to open his mouth to wish Jeongin safe travels, but he was interrupted by the younger practically hurling himself into Felix, pulling him into a tight hug. Felix instinctively wrapped his arms around Jeongin, returning the hug, and they stood there like that for a while.

“Safe travels,” Felix whispered softly, breaking the silence.

“Thank you,” He heard Jeongin’s quiet reply so close to his ear that he almost shivered. “See you tomorrow, hyung.”

Felix chuckled as he pulled away. “You won’t be back until next week, Innie.”

“I know,” Jeongin said with a playful smile that looked a little sad. “I just wanted to say it.”

“Okay,” Felix played along, a smile gracing his features. “See you tomorrow, Innie.”

 

Notes:

I wonder if Jeongin will meet anyone interesting at the capital 🤔

edit: Also I’ve just realized that we’ve reached 20k words and felix haven’t even met the other boys yet shsjjs you guys might wanna take that slow burn tag seriously💀😂

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 6: A Whole Mess

Summary:

“I met him,” Jeongin spoke quietly, weakly.

 

“You met who?”

 

“My,” he started, taking a deep breath as he felt his throat closing and his heart clenching, finding it hard to say the next word. “Soulmate.”

Felix spent the next day sneaking out to the forest. Luckily, Wooyoung looked like he had a lot on his mind lately, which meant that there were less brain cells nitpicking on the things Felix said. He had offered to listen if there was something bothering him, but the older just brushed it off—saying that it was something about San. It didn’t look like they were fighting though, so Felix thought that it’s best to give Wooyoung space and wait. If he wanted to talk about it with Felix, he will; if he doesn’t, then he won’t. He wouldn’t push Wooyoung, especially since it seemed like he had it handled.

All in all, it worked well for Felix since he needed to sneak into the forest. As he expected, he was able to gather the necessary herbs for his potion.

Unfortunately, he forgot to think about one thing—how and where could he work on the potion?

He was going to Minhyuk’s place the next day, so he was planning to ask if it’d be okay for him to do it at his place or something; since the potion he was going for was pretty basic and simple, and it didn’t need any kind of magic—since he had no magic and could only brew non-magical potions—he would be able to brew it at a regular kitchen.

He felt bad since Minhyuk had helped him so much with the lying and by inviting him to his place to look at his family library, and now he was going to ask for another favor.

If the potion wasn’t so important, he would have given up on it.

Felix had put on the best outfit he had for the day in an attempt to make a good impression on Minhyuk’s mom. The older told him that he was going to introduce him to her today. It was nothing compared to what the nobles usually wear, but Felix thought it was decent enough.

Minhyuk met him a few blocks away from his house—his mansion, really—which was right before the nobles’ housing area.

Felix was relieved because he’d probably be lost and who was he going to ask for directions? There was no one out and about around the area, although he could spot a few gardeners working behind tall fences of the mansions.

Two men in uniform opened the gates as Felix and Minhyuk approached. Minhyuk’s house looked identical with the houses in the area—extremely big and spacey and grand, and maybe a little lonely. Felix flashed the burly men a smile, but their faces remained stoic.

More people opened the doors to the mansion for them, this time it was a few women in maid uniforms. Felix’s smile was met with bowed heads this time.

Once they’re inside, Minhyuk grabbed his hand and guided him through the house.

There were beautiful paintings, antiques and a lot of space—too much space inside.

“Come on, my mom’s here,” Minhyuk said eagerly.

Felix chuckled. “Slow down, hyung,” he said. “Why are you so eager for her to meet me, anyways? You sure she would be fine meeting, uh, an ordinary person?”

“She’s excited to meet you,” Minhyuk replied, not slowing down. “As for why, of course I’m excited for my mother to meet the love of my life.”

“I’m flattered,” Felix said as he rolled his eyes.

Finally, they reached a set of large doors. Minhyuk locked eyes with Felix, seemingly asking if he was ready.

The next second, he pushed the doors open, pulling Felix along with him.

“Mother, look who’s here,” he said.

The room was just like the other parts of the mansion—expansive, beautifully decorated, filled with valuable possessions. However, there was an air of warmth and welcoming in this particular room.

Next to a big window, a beautiful woman sat near the window, sipping a cup of tea. Her eyes brightened as she turned around, revealing a striking resemblance to Minhyuk.

She stood up, greeting them with a smile. They stopped in front of her.

“Felix,” she greeted him. “Minhyuk has told me so much about you.”

“H-hello! Good day, Mrs. Lee,” Felix greeted her back with a smile despite how nervous he was, bowing his head a little because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do—he should’ve asked Minhyuk all about it before he came here.

Mrs. Lee’s smile got even brighter. “Good day to you too, Felix. I’ve heard that you’ve came to visit the library?”

“Yes,” Felix said. “I mean, if that’s alright, of course.”

“Of course it is,” she said kindly. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I could see why my son wouldn’t stop gushing about you,” she added, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Mother!” Minhyuk protested. “I did not gush.”

She just smiled at Minhyuk fondly. “Now, I have a few things I need to attend today. I hope you will enjoy the library, and please come visit again so that we could have a proper conversation next time.”

Felix had no idea what a proper conversation with a noble entailed, but he nodded.

“I’ll take him to the library now,” Minhyuk spoke up. Felix bowed his head one more time for good measure before letting Minhyuk guide him out of the room. As he glanced back, he saw Mrs. Lee watching them with an amused expression.

He let out a breath of relief when they were outside.

“Nervous?” Minhyuk teased, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Uh, yeah? Your mother is very beautiful, hyung,” Felix admitted, stating the obvious.

“Of course she is. Look at me.”

Felix groaned softly. “Don’t ruin it. Just agree and move on,” he said.

“Fine, fine,” Minhyuk relented. “Come on, let’s go to the library now.”

Minhyuk led Felix to the second floor of the mansion, guiding him through a corridor on their right. They reached a set of huge wooden doors, and as Minhyuk pushed them open, a vast expanse of books.

“Fates,” Felix said, his voice breathless with awe. The library seemed to stretch on endlessly, containing more books than he had ever seen before. There were so many books. There were more books here than in the bookstore in the village.

“Knock yourself out,” Minhyuk said with a grin.

Felix didn’t have to be told twice. He went straight for the first aisle, running his hand on the side of the books neatly arranged as he looked through the titles written there.

Minhyuk was surprisingly a very good reading companion.

Whenever Felix hung out with him, they spent most of their time engaged in banters or just talking about everything in general—even though sometimes they would enjoy the silence for a few minutes as they stared at the calm lake in front of them—but he was surprisingly silent today.

He learned that Minhyuk enjoyed reading, much like himself. After asking if Felix needed help finding anything—receiving a negative response—Minhyuk found a book of his own and settled onto one of the sofas to read.

The library was extensive, and it was meticulously organized, making it easy for Felix to locate the sections on plants and potions.

He swiftly gathered a few relevant books and brought them to one of the desks. Seated in a comfortable chair, Felix delved into the books, immersing himself in their contents.

They both read in a comfortable silence for a while. It was the longest period of time they had spent together without exchanging words.

A few hours later, Minhyuk closed his book, and stood up, stretching lightly.

He made his way over to Felix, who was hunched over his own books, humming quietly as he scanned the pages that were open.

Just as Minhyuk was straightening, probably about to go back to reading his book, a loud crashing noise echoed through the estate. It sounded like something fell, or something just broke.

Felix shot up from his chair, turning towards the door. He flinched a little when the noise was repeated. He was about to ask Minhyuk what was going on, but the words caught in his throat.

Minhyuk was standing stiffly, almost frozen. His eyes were wide as if he was scared.

He was terrified.

The sound of more objects breaking jolted Felix out of his thoughts, so he inched closer to Minhyuk who was breathing heavier by the second.

“Hyung?” He whispered softly, quietly, afraid that he would spook him further.

Minhyuk was unresponsive, his gaze fixed ahead as if he were seeing something terrifying.

The sound of more objects breaking—accompanied with shouting this time—certainly didn’t help. If anything, it made things worse for him.

Felix moved closer and reached out slowly until his hands were over Minhyuk’s ears. The older’s eyes widened slightly at the contact, as if it brought him back to the present.

Minhyuk finally saw him.

“Hyung,” Felix said gently. “You need to breathe.”

This time Minhyuk heard him, because he tried taking a deep, stuttering breath, closing his eyes as he tried to do so.

“Just like that,” Felix encouraged, his voice soothing. “Breathe, hyung. Breathe with me.”

The shouting did not stop, nor did the sound of things breaking, which could be heard every once in a while.

Felix kept his hands over Minhyuk’s ears, although he knew that his friend could probably still hear it all. He continued murmuring words of encouragement, his voice low and soothing, speaking softly as an attempt to calm Minhyuk down.

“Focus on my voice, hyung,” Felix said when Minhyuk tensed upon hearing a shout that sounded suspiciously like his mother. “Just focus on my voice.”

Gradually, Minhyuk's breathing began to steady—he remained tense but he was breathing steadily now, which was a relief.

And then slowly, he opened his eyes, locking gazes with Felix. His eyes were full of emotions. It looked like a mixture of fear and sadness and anger altogether that Felix had to hold his breath for a second.

Felix said nothing, because he had no idea what to say. He felt that silence might be the best he could offer in that moment.

Closing his eyes, Minhyuk tumbled forward, collapsing into Felix’s arms. His hands clung to Felix’s shirt like it was his lifeline. The sudden weight of his friend almost made him stumble backwards, but he managed to regain his balance. Felix shifted, wrapping his arms around the older as an attempt to provide a little bit of comfort.

The shouting continued, the sound of things being thrown—the sound of things breaking continued around them, but Felix held his friend steady.

There was a dozen of questions in his mind right now, and he was also a little afraid to think about what was going on, but it didn’t matter.

For now, he was going to hold Minhyuk steady for as long as needed.

 

---

 

That day, Felix stayed with Minhyuk until the sky had gone entirely dark. Silently, he tried to not think about the lecture he was going to get once he’s arrived back home—instead focusing on the steady rhythm of Minhyuk breathing.

When the shouting finally stopped, Minhyuk remained motionless until they could hear the gates opening and the sound of horses pulling a carriage leaving the estate.

When Minhyuk finally let go, he didn't utter a single word, nor did he meet Felix's gaze. Instead, he took hold of his hand and began leading him downstairs, out of the estate until they stood before the gates.

Minhyuk then turned to him, still avoiding eye contact. He opened his mouth and closed it again, looking like he wasn’t sure what to say. Unfortunately, Felix wasn’t sure what he could say to make Minhyuk feel better, so he remained silent—lost in his own mind as he tried thinking of something, anything that could help.

“Please get home safe,” Minhyuk said quietly, before turning to approach one of the guards stationed at the gates. “Please make sure he gets home safely,” he said. Without looking back, Minhyuk hurried back and disappeared behind the imposing doors of his mansion.

Felix wanted to call out to him, he wanted to make sure Minhyuk was alright and comfort him, but the older was already gone behind the big doors and Felix was left speechless.

He tried telling the guards that he could find his way back home just fine, but they were undeterred—one of them walked him all the way to Wooyoung’s inn with him despite his protests.

He didn’t see Minhyuk for the next few days.

For the first time since Felix came to Duskwood, he felt like he was an outsider.

Jeongin was gone, Minhyuk was more or less gone, and Wooyoung have been spending more time with San, always looking a little distracted whenever he was around Felix.

On top of everything, Felix's potion situation weighed heavily on his mind. He was supposed to ask Minhyuk if he could use his kitchen to brew them, but he didn’t get to with what happened the other day. If Felix was being honest, he was just worried about his friend now because what happened was alarming. Is he okay? Does he need help? What could he do to help?

He had wanted to just go to Minhyuk’s place, but then decided not to because Minhyuk did say that his father wouldn’t like it if he was there. Felix didn’t want to risk causing trouble, because with his luck he was entirely sure that he’d have stumbled into Minhyuk’s father before anyone else.

He had taken his last vial of potion two days ago, and he was supposed to take one today.

He was really dreading tomorrow.

The only bright side of this was how he had been able to sneak out to the forest a few times without a hitch—which was very necessary since the first herbs he had gotten the first time he sneaked out were already wilting. He needed fresh ingredients for the potions.

He did the same today, he gathered as much as he could in his basket, sneaked into his bedroom and hid it under his bed.

Felix nearly jumped when his bedroom door swung open without a knock.

“There you are,” Wooyoung said, a mixture of relief and frustration in his voice. “Where have you been?”

“With Minhyuk hyung,” Felix said quickly. It’s the excuse he had been using, which got a little harder to use each time he does because he had not seen Minhyuk in days.

Fortunately for him, Wooyoung was even more distracted than he usually was today; so he didn’t catch the lie.

“Come on, we need to find Jeongin,” Wooyoung said as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

Felix blinked in surprise. “He’s back?”

Wooyoung nodded. “He returned a few hours ago, right after lunch. But he disappeared and no one could find him. Mr. and Mrs. Yang seemed to be worried that something happened in the capital.”

Felix’s stomach dropped.

“What could have happened in the capital?”

“I don’t know,” Wooyoung replied. “Let’s just find him first.”

 

---

 

Felix helped his friends look around the village, but no one seemed to know where Jeongin was. San eventually suggested that they should split up so that they would be able to cover more ground, so the three went their separate ways.

Felix had no idea where else he could go. At this point, it felt like he had already gone through the entire village—at least the entire village area that was assigned to him; his friends got the other areas.

If something happened and Jeongin had gone somewhere to avoid people, where would he be?

The forest would be the perfect place for that, but that was probably the last place Jeongin would go to. Could he be at the lake?

It was possible. The lake was often deserted, it’s avoided by the villagers for a different reason. There were rumors that it’s haunted or something, but Felix had never experienced anything scary and Minhyuk seemed to prefer the possibility of running into ghosts than running into the villagers, so it wasn’t a problem for them.

Deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to check, Felix hurried out of the village, towards the small path that led to the Lake, hoping that Jeongin was there. The sun was setting now, so he could imagine how worried Mr. and Mrs. Yang would be.

When he finally arrived at the lake, he almost cried out in relief because he could spot a familiar figure at the water's edge, gaze fixed on the sky.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Felix opted to approach the younger slowly—careful not to startle him but making enough noise to signal his presence.

“Hey, Innie,” Felix spoke gently as he drew closer. “What are you doing out here so late?”

Jeongin didn’t even turn to him, keeping his gaze trained on the sky.

Felix waited. It’s a little eerie how quiet Jeongin was.

“Just thinking,” The younger finally responded quietly after a few minutes.

“Did something happen?” Felix prompted softly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Silence lingered for a few seconds before Jeongin spoke up again. “I met him.”

“You met who?”

“My,” He said, taking a deep breath as if the next word was painful to say. “Soulmate.”

Ah.

Now it’s Felix’s turn to be silent, because he had to get his bearings. He was glad that it was getting darker—he was glad that Jeongin wasn’t looking at him.

“That’s great, Innie,” Felix managed to say, trying to sound as happy as he could. “I’m happy for you.”

When Jeongin said nothing, Felix panicked a little because why isn’t he saying anything—was it obvious that he’s not all that happy for him?

“Innie?” Felix asked anxiously. He inched closer, trying to see Jeongin’s face. The moment Felix inched closer, Jeongin turned away.

“Jeongin-ah,” Felix said, he was fully panicking now. “Did I say something wr—I’m so sorry, Innie. I’m sorry,” He apologized, cringing at how his voice cracked at the end.

Unfortunately—or fortunately, that seemed to get Jeongin’s attention, he turned back to face him so fast it surprised him.

Now they were staring at each other, faces only inches apart; and he could finally see that Jeongin was crying.

Felix’s eyes widened. “Innie, what’s wrong? I said something wrong, didn’t I—I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he babbled, his arms flailing around because his first instinct was to pull Jeongin for a hug but his logic kicked in and managed to stop his arms from doing so, thank fates—

He felt the fabric on his shoulder got wet.

Jeongin had rested his face on his shoulder and he was still crying.

No amount of logic would’ve been able to stop him from pulling the younger closer into a tight hug. He could feel Jeongin trembling, but no sound escaped his lips.

“No matter what it is, I’m here, okay?” Felix murmured softly. “If it’s something I said, I’ll fix it. If it’s something else entirely, I’ll also fix it for you, alright, Innie? We’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

Jeongin said nothing, but Felix could feel his arms settling around him, returning the hug.

They stayed like that for a while, leaning on each other, so close that they could feel each others’ heartbeats. The sun was completely gone then, and Felix knew that he was going to get an earful later but he couldn’t care less. The only thing in his mind was how Jeongin clung to him, how his breath sounded steadier by the minute, how the trembling has subsided.

He wished he could take it all away, he wished he could have taken all Jeongin’s pain away.

But all he could do was be there with him.

He was about to think of things he could do to cheer Jeongin up, but all thoughts disappeared when he saw small specks of light that began to flicker around them.

He let out a soft gasp. “Innie,” he whispered. “Look.”

He could feel the younger shifting, finally lifting his head from where it was buried in his shoulder. He could hear the quiet gasp when Jeongin saw what he saw.

Fireflies.

They pulled away then, mesmerized by the sight before them—the serenity and beauty of it, like the universe finally thought that they’ve gone through enough hardships recently and was giving them a little gift.

His eyes fell back to Jeongin, heart clenching when he saw his expression—how he looked so lost, like wasn’t sure whether to smile or cry because the fireflies were beautiful but there was also the issue of his soulmate.

Felix reached out and grabbed his hand, unable to see the younger look so lost.

It’s okay, he didn’t say. You’re not lost, we’ll find the way out of here. Together.

He wasn’t sure if it was the right move, but he felt Jeongin holding back, intertwining their fingers together gently, so Felix gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Things will turn out alright for you, Felix promised silently. I’m not going anywhere before I make sure of it.

 

---

 

Yang Jeongin grew up feeling apprehensive about the concept of soulmates.

Seeing the people around him slowly find their own person never really made him change his mind—sure, when he looks at people like Wooyoung and San it was a little annoying how they seem to be made perfectly for each other, but rather than making him excited to meet his own soulmate, it made him worry.

What if they don’t fit like Wooyoung and San do? What would they do then, would they still force themselves to be together regardless?

Even more, he wasn’t exactly a romantic.

He was a simple man. He loved his family, he loved his friends. He liked the the repetitive, mundane days; he liked helping his dad with the fields, he liked fooling around with his friends, he liked going home to his mom’s delicious food, he liked spending the quiet nights with his family, talking about everything and nothing.

He loved Duskwood—his village, his home.

He never really wondered about the forest and what lies beyond it, he wished it didn’t exist at all if that means that his uncle would be here.

So more than about his soulmate, Jeongin worried about himself—what if he didn’t like his soulmate? What if he didn’t want anything to do with them, how should he tell them? Even worse, what if his soulmate is a noble?

The thought made him shudder.

The nobles have never done anything for the village. They’re pretentious, greedy, and vain. They say things they don’t mean, and everything is a game to them—a game of wealth and power. They live in their big mansions, so out of touch from the world; not knowing the worth of a meal.

Jeongin grew up feeling apprehensive about soulmates, but then Felix walked in and threw it all out the window.

In front of him, stood the most breathtaking person he had ever laid eyes on, and for a second he forgot to breathe.

Jeongin couldn’t explain—he couldn’t comprehend his thoughts.

All he knew was that this was Wooyoung’s new friend, and Jeongin almost failed to hold himself back from saying something stupid like hi, I don’t know who you are, but I think I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.

It’s not like he saw him get hurt and feel the pain as if it was his, so he didn’t even know for sure—but he could almost feel it, something more.

Did he just fall in love at first sight, or did he actually meet his soulmate?

He had no idea.

“This is Felix,” San said. “He’s staying with Wooyoung, which is so lucky because he gets to eat Mrs. Jung’s cooking every day! Imagine starting the day with that,” he added wistfully.

Jeongin laughed along with his friends before turning towards Felix and introducing himself.

“Hi! I’m Jeongin. Nice to meet you!” he said, hoping that he’s making a good first impression.

Felix just stared blankly at him, he stood unmoving Jeongin wasn’t sure if he was breathing.

“Lix? You alright?” Wooyoung asked.

Felix blinked. “Yes,” he said quickly. “It’s really great to meet you. I think I’ll try asking around again, see you guys later,” he said all of that without looking at Jeongin at all and then he just sprinted away.

Jeongin’s heart dropped.

“Lix!” Wooyoung tried calling him back, looking dumbfounded, but Felix was already gone.

…Did he say what he was thinking out loud?

“I wonder what’s wrong,” Wooyoung frowned. “I mean, he’s a bit jumpy, yes. He was super anxious when we met, but not afterwards.”

San ruffled his hair. “He’s probably just nervous because of me and Innie,” he said.

Wooyoung opened his mouth to reply, but Jeongin interrupted him. “Did I say anything weird?” Jeongin asked. He had to be sure, what if he actually said all those things out loud?

“No,” Wooyoung said as he raised his eyebrows. “At least I don’t think you did. You just introduced yourself.”

Jeongin let out a breath of relief, but there was something wrong—something was clearly wrong with him because for the rest of that day, he could only think about the new boy and his freckles. He hoped he would be able to talk to him next time.

 

---

 

Jeongin has never felt so stressed out in his life—Felix was trying to avoid him like plague, and he always tried to talk his way out of any interaction with Jeongin.

He was too busy worrying about how he wouldn’t like his soulmate, but it turns out he was worrying about the wrong thing; he should’ve worried about whether they would like him.

And now he was already referring to Felix as his soulmate even though there was nothing to indicate that, the older wouldn’t even talk to him—heck, he wouldn’t even look at him.

 

---

 

Jeongin wasn't sure what was wrong with him, it’s either he had a concussion or he was going mad. He had never felt like this, no one had never made him feel like this, so giddy and happy and soft—every time he was with Felix, he felt like that.

He felt like he was home, like everything was right, like he was finally alive.

He thought that it was more likely that he has gone mad, because he went out of his way to at least see him once a day despite how hard it was to keep his head straight when Felix was around.

 

---

 

“Are you sure you want to stay here and watch him like a creep?” Wooyoung asked with a teasing smile.

“I’m not a creep,” Jeongin said defensively.

“Yeah? Because you’re kinda acting like one,” Wooyoung said. “I personally think that you should just come with me so that you get right into kissing him or something once I’m done.”

“Hyung, I’m really don’t have the patience to deal with your teasing right now,” Jeongin scowled. “Stop.”

“I’m just saying,” Wooyoung persisted. “It would be easier to talk about it if you’re there. What are you gonna do when you feel it, jump out of your hiding place and claim that he’s your soulmate, scaring him out of his mind?”

A few beats of silence stretched between them.

“What if I don’t?”

“What?”

“What if I don’t feel his pain?” Jeongin repeated, a little louder this time. “What then?”

“Seriously?” Wooyoung asked incredulously as if he just asked the dumbest question. “You don’t need to worry about that. You’re soulmates! I can feel it. You know I have good hunches.”

Wooyoung did have good hunches, so Jeongin said nothing.

“Alright,” Wooyoung said as he pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning against, straightening up. “I’ll go smother Felix with cheeks pinching and squeezing now. Don’t take too long to come out when you feel it,” He added as he gave Jeongin a conspiratorial wink.

Jeongin mock-gagged, but remained silent. With a grin, Wooyoung went on his way to approach Felix, who was watching the fountain in the middle of the village like it had the answers to his life’s questions.

He was clearly spacing out, because he almost jumped when Wooyoung put his hand over his shoulder—tensing for a second before he relaxed with a happy smile on his face.

Jeongin could watch him forever. He would do anything for that smile.

Shaking his head to clear his mind from his clearly drunken thoughts, Jeongin watched as Wooyoung and Felix seemed to have a small talk—probably to make it less obvious, since if Wooyoung just came and started smothering Felix out of nowhere, it was going to be a little weird.

He held his breath as he saw Wooyoung’s hands rising; it was almost as if he saw it all in slow motion.

Wooyoung brought his arms on to Felix’s face before squeezing it and giving it a good stretch, making the younger yelp as he tried to struggle against his grip. Wooyoung laughed, unfazed as he continued with the pinching before finally releasing him. Felix’s cheeks were starting to turn a little red after the ministrations, and Wooyoung’s eyes darted to Jeongin, looking delighted.

But Jeongin just stood there—face blank like a fool, because everything was not okay.

Because he felt nothing.

It took Wooyoung a few seconds before he seemed to finally realize why Jeongin wasn’t jumping out of his hiding place and claim that Felix was his soulmate, as he had described earlier.

Wooyoung’s face fell, and Jeongin turned around, heart thrumming in his chest.

He needed to get out of here. There was less oxygen here or something because it was suddenly so hard for him to breathe, because the familiar sight of the village suddenly felt so suffocating it hurts.

The village blurred around him as he desperately tried to go somewhere, anywhere but here.

“Innie!” a voice snapped him back to the present. Jeongin turned to see Wooyoung coming to a stop, catching his breath. They were now in the fields.

He had no idea how he got here.

“Jeongin-ah…” Wooyoung’s voice was quiet. It was laced with something Jeongin hated, something that felt like pity.

Jeongin stayed silent, not trusting himself to say anything just yet—afraid that he might crumble.

“Innie, I’m—”

“I’d like to be alone,” Jeongin managed to say.

For a few moments, Wooyoung did nothing. But at the end, he squeezed his shoulder and walked away.

Jeongin let out a breath of relief. At least Wooyoung knew him well enough to know when not to push his buttons. If he did, he might’ve made Jeongin do something he’d regret like directing his anger and frustration towards him.

But now that Wooyoung was gone, there was nowhere else to go. There was nothing else he could do but face the reality.

Felix was not his soulmate.

The thought didn’t sit right with him, it was wrong, it made him feel empty and angry and sick. Because how could Felix be anything but his soulmate? How could he make him feel all those foreign feelings he had never felt before, how could he so easily become someone very important to Jeongin in the span of a few weeks as if it was the most natural thing in the world?

How could he plague every second of Jeongin’s time, a constant thought in his mind?

How could his smile make him feel better even in the most exhausting days?

And the biggest question he had, the biggest question that had been gnawing his insides.

What was he supposed to do now?

 

---

 

Jeongin spent his days overworking himself working in the fields and assisting his dad with the preparations for the trip to the capital. There was a merchant who was looking for a supplier, so one of his uncles who lived in the capital recommended them. Jeongin was accompanying his dad to the capital for the discussion of their partnership—they’re also bringing some of their harvests to showcase the quality of their products.

Wooyoung had told San about what happened—Jeongin didn’t even need to wonder because he knew the two tell each other everything. He was fine with it. They’re both his friends, and they’ve been friends for as long as he could remember.

It wasn’t only Felix, he avoided running into or speaking with both of his hyungs as well because he didn’t want to talk about it.

Despite that, they all came to bid him goodbyes as they were loading in the harvested crops into the carriage.

Once everything’s done, he found himself immediately enveloped in Wooyoung’s arms.

He had been too tired to fight it, so he let him do it.

It surprisingly felt alright. Maybe a little comforting, even.

“I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk,” Wooyoung whispered quietly. “Don’t keep it all to yourself, yeah?”

Jeongin said nothing, but he returned the hug mutely.

San pulled him into another hug right after, wishing him a safe journey to the capital; not mentioning anything else. Jeongin knew that even though he had heard everything from Wooyoung, he wouldn’t push or make Jeongin talk about it unless he decides to do it himself. He was grateful for that.

San pulled away, and Jeongin’s eyes fell into the person he had been desperately avoiding and yearning for simultaneously—like a hilarious paradox.

“Hi Innie,” Felix greeted him. Hearing his voice for the first time in days made Jeongin realized how much he had missed him.

“Hi, hyung,” Jeongin tried his best to sound normal, forcing out a smile that wasn’t so hard to force because the sight of the older always made him smile anyways.

“Are you okay?” Felix asked, seeming genuinely concerned. “You look tired.”

For a moment, Jeongin wanted to tell him the truth. He wanted to tell him how he felt, he wanted to tell him about his jumbled thoughts and sleepless nights and how much he had thought about him—but then Jeongin remembered that he was a coward, so he decided not to.

“Lots to do before the trip,” he quickly replied. “Sorry I haven’t been able to see you.”

“It’s okay,” Felix reassured him, voice so gentle that Jeongin had to discreetly pinch himself to stop himself from doing something embarrassing like bursting into tears. “I understand. You don’t need to see me, I’d be happier if you spend your free time resting,” He said, a small frown on his face.

“I’m okay, hyung,” Jeongin replied softly. “I’ll get plenty of rest on the way.”

Felix glanced at the carriage behind Jeongin thoughtfully. Jeongin just stared at him as he always had while trying to suppress the idiotic urges in his mind, like how he wanted to reach out and touch his freckles.

“That’s good,” Felix said with a smile and Jeongin realized—Jeongin knew that he was way beyond help because he didn’t care whether they were soulmates or not, he couldn’t imagine his life without him.

The realization and the realization of said realization were both terrifying.

“When I’m back, let’s hang out?” Jeongin blurted out before he could stop himself. “We can go to the bookstore again.”

“Of course,” Felix agreed. “We can hang out anywhere, it doesn’t have to be the bookstore. You can choose.”

That made him feel slightly better, but now that he was leaving, all he could think of was that day—the day Felix ran into the forest, the day he desperately he tried to catch up, calling out for him in vain because he was already gone behind the thick forest.

“Promise me, hyung?” Jeongin pressed. He was going to be away and if Felix ever went to the forest and never came back, there was nothing he could do because he had no idea how to find him—he had no idea what’s in the forest and how to navigate it—he had no idea how to find him.

Felix could disappear into the forest any day and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Of course, Innie,” Felix said slowly, his deep voice jolting Jeongin out of his thoughts. “I promise we’ll hang out when you’re back.”

“Okay,” Jeongin said quietly.

They both stood there awkwardly for a moment before Jeongin gave up, letting his body go autopilot as he surged forward and pulled Felix into a bone crushing hug.

He didn’t even have the time to freak out and panic about it, because he could feel the older wrapping his arms around him, holding him just as tight.

It felt right and perfect, like everything was finally lining up and Jeongin didn’t need to feel lost anymore.

It felt like being found, and it felt like everything was going to be fine, so Jeongin squeezed his eyes tight as he tried to savor everything.

“Safe travels,” Felix whispered softly, making Jeongin feel butterflies in his stomach.

“Thank you,” Jeongin replied quietly. “See you tomorrow, hyung.”

Felix chuckled as he pulled away and Jeongin almost couldn’t hold himself from not letting him. “You won’t be back until next week.”

Jeongin knew that, but perhaps he couldn’t help it.

He couldn’t help it because the last time he saw his uncle was the day before he went missing, Jeongin had been angry at him because he had just told him that their plan of going fishing next week is cancelled—something about a sudden trip to the neighboring village.

See you tomorrow, buddy, his uncle had said, and Jeongin was so angry at him that he ignored him entirely—stomping away to his house.

A small part of him always thought that if only he said it back…

If he said it back, then maybe his uncle would still be there the next day. Then maybe he wouldn’t have gone missing, leaving everyone so scared and heartbroken.

“I know,” Jeongin said lightly as he tried to swallow down the heaviness that had settled in his throat. “I just wanted to say it.”

“Okay,” Felix said even though it was clear that he didn’t understand. He smiled that smile of his before continuing, “See you tomorrow, Innie.”

How could someone so good be his soulmate?

Of course Jeongin wouldn’t be that lucky.

Felix was like the sun, and they were all sunflowers. He was charming and kind and so, so beautiful that everyone was just mesmerized—everyone was pulled into his orbit, gravitating towards him so easily like it was the most natural thing in the world.

He had only been here for a few weeks, yet everyone always greeted him like he had lived here all along—even the grumpy uncle Minki who was always suspicious of outsiders was fond of Felix.

Felix had even became friends with Minhyuk, one of the nobles Jeongin despised, who always pranced around the village with their superficial smile and greedy eyes.

But Jeongin understood, how could anyone dislike someone so bright and good?

How could someone like that be his soulmate?

Yeah, Jeongin would never be that lucky.

 

---

 

His time in capital was just horrible. He couldn’t stop thinking and worrying about Felix and on top of that he had to sit silently beside his dad while he negotiated the terms of the partnership. The whole affair was dull and stifling, and Jeongin didn’t want to do anything with it—he loved working in the fields and helping his family take care of the crops, but he never liked the business aspect of it, not that it happened much since their family mostly sold their harvests to the local market while occasionally sending some harvests to neighboring villages.

This was a big opportunity thanks to his uncle.

That was another thing, he liked his uncle a lot but his son—his cousin was another matter altogether. They used to get along when they were kids, but after his aunt died, his cousin slowly changed. Nowadays they couldn’t have a civil conversation, always snapping at each other, so whenever they met both of them would just settle for silence. He felt bad for his uncle, hoping that his cousin would stop being such a rebel and make things easier for his father.

That’s why on their last day there, Jeongin felt his mood improving. Finally, he would be away from the suffocating walls of the capital—finally he would be back home.

He decided to take a stroll around the market, asking around for Felix’s uncle with no result. Almost no result.

“Maybe you can go to the guild,” a kind lady suggested.

“The guild?”

“The guild of Magic,” she said. “Every magician and sorcerer is registered there. Maybe they’ll be able to help your friend.”

Mouth slightly hanging, Jeongin nodded mutely. He didn’t even know there was a guild of magic, but he guessed it couldn’t be helped because their village only has a sorcerer—a sorcerer anyone barely knows.

“Thank you,” Jeongin thanked the lady sincerely. This was a good, he could definitely try asking the guild.

He couldn’t do it now because he promised his dad that he was going to be back in 30 minutes since they were departing soon. He probably only has a few minutes to run back to the inn they were staying at. He’ll definitely go to the guild first thing the next time they come to the capital.

Walking faster towards the general direction of the inn, he felt himself smiling as he imagined how happy Felix would be if he managed to find something about his uncle.

Lost in his thoughts, he bumped into someone, making the other person drop their stuff.

Horrified, he opened his mouth to apologize, but the person didn’t let him. He hastily retrieved his stuff from the ground and glared at Jeongin like he was the most despicable thing on earth.

“Watch where you’re going, peasant,” the man spat.

It was then he noticed his clothes, all silk and expensive looking accessories.

Nobles.

Jeongin’s eye twitched, but he held himself from saying anything back. Only a few more minutes and he’d be away from the capital and its nasty nobles.

For good measure, the man bumped his shoulder as hard as he could as he walked away, causing Jeongin to stumble back, his fists clenched.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he thought of gentle smiles and freckled cheeks, feeling himself calm down if not a little embarrassed at himself because the thought of Felix made his anger dissipates like it was never there.

He let out a sigh.

“Wait!” he heard someone call out as he turned to resume walking, and then he felt someone’s hand on his arm.

He turned to see another noble, and he felt his mood plummeting. What now?

“Uh, sorry, hi,” the noble stammered, looking anxious. His hair was a little disheveled for a noble, and his cheeks made him look young. Jeongin thought that he was younger than him.

“Yes?” Jeongin responded curtly, his irritation evident.

“I, uh, saw what happened back there,” he said, eyes darting around as if he was searching for the right words. “And I’m sorry that happened to you, that wasn’t very nice of, uh, him.”

Jeongin blinked, confused.

“Okay?” he said. What does this person want with him?

The noble’s expression fell slightly at his reaction, but he quickly recovered. “What I meant to say was, hi, I’m Jisung. I think you’re my soulmate, because I felt it when he bumped into you,” he blurted out quickly before adding, “twice.”

If Jeongin wasn’t the one in this position, he would have thrown his head back and laughed.

Because of course his soulmate was not Felix, with his beautiful smile and constellations on his cheeks and everything Jeongin had ever wanted.

His soulmate was a noble.

 

---

 

Jeongin didn’t tell his dad anything. He remained silent throughout their journey back home.

His father sensed that something was amiss, but he didn’t probe because he knew his son better than anyone else. He understood that Jeongin needed time to sort things out and think before he would utter a word to anyone.

They arrived in Duskwood around noon.

Jeongin immediately excused himself, not even saying where he was going because he didn’t even know where—and thankfully his dad seemed to have no problem with it, he just nodded and went his way.

He didn’t want to meet anyone, so he found himself at the lake.

The lake was always deserted because it was away from the village and it was haunted. At least, that’s what everyone thinks. That's why they all preferred to go fishing, swimming, or relaxing at the river, even though it was almost a two-hour walk away.

He sat there, staring blankly at the still surface of the lake, and at the sky—alternating between the two every once in a while. His thoughts were noisy and empty at the same time, he couldn’t really explain it.

It was as if he was there and not there, it was as if he was floating.

By the time he noticed, the sun had begun to set, and he sat there, not caring in the least if his mom were to scold him when he returned home. He simply didn't want to go back.

“Hey, Innie,” a familiar voice broke the silence. It’s his favorite sound in the world. “What are you doing out here so late?”

Jeongin couldn’t bear to look at him, so he kept staring straight at the sky. The orange was bleeding into deep, dark purple now.

Felix stayed quiet, waiting patiently for him to say something.

“Just thinking,” Jeongin finally said quietly, unable to just ignore the other.

“Did something happen?” Felix prompted softly, kindly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Surprisingly, the answer to that was yes. Somehow, if there was anyone he’d want to tell it to, it would be Felix.

Somehow, it felt right—that Felix should be the first to know; before his parents, before his best friends who were like his own brothers.

“I met him,” Jeongin spoke quietly, weakly.

“You met who?”

“My,” he started, taking a deep breath as he felt his throat closing and his heart clenching, finding it hard to say the next word. “Soulmate.”

He said it.

He hated it, but he said it.

The sky was getting darker by the second, but Jeongin could still notice how it’s getting suspiciously blurry.

“That’s great, Innie,” Felix said, sounding like he was glad for him. “I’m happy for you.”

Tears welled up and streamed uncontrollably down his cheeks before he could even attempt to blink them away.

He had never thought he could feel so sad—so hurt at the words I’m happy for you.

“Innie?” Felix asked, his voice tinged with panic. “What’s wrong?”

It’s not you.

His mind was just filled with those words. Repeatedly, unchangingly, like a curse.

He started inching closer then, seemingly attempting to catch a glimpse of Jeongin's face, which made Jeongin panic in turn as he turned away quickly, desperately trying to hide.

“Jeongin-ah,” the older pleaded. “Did I say something wr—I’m so sorry, Innie. I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking at the end.

Jeongin turned to face Felix before he could stop himself—before he realized what had done because now they were staring at each other and there was nowhere to hide.

He saw Felix’s eyes widening in shock. “Innie, what’s wrong? I said something wrong, didn’t I—I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it,” Felix said, arms flailing around like he was trying to do something. Jeongin wasn’t too sure because his vision was already getting blurry again.

He was so tired of it all.

Letting go of that rational part of his brain, he leaned forward and rested his face on Felix’s shoulder—wishing that he could hide himself there forever.

It felt right somehow. He would have hidden there forever, face buried on Felix's shoulder, wishing that the world would pass and leave him alone.

It all became worse—or better? Jeongin had no idea at this point, but Felix had wrapped his arms around him, making the pain bearable and unbearable at the same time because it’s not him.

“No matter what it is, I’m here, okay?” Felix said softly, and Jeongin felt his lips quivering. “If it’s something I said, I’ll fix it. If it’s something else entirely, I’ll also fix it for you, alright, Innie? We’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

It’s not okay, Jeongin didn’t say. Because it’s not you.

They stayed like that for a while, and Jeongin could feel the pain slowly fading until all he could feel was Felix’s gentle touch on his back, patting him softly.

The sun was completely gone and the sky was pitch black—the trees around them and the noise of insects reminded Jeongin of the forest, which would freak him up on other days but this wasn’t any normal day because Felix was with him and his arms were around him, so there was nowhere he’d rather be.

His eyes were closed, he could hear Felix’s soft breaths better that way and it calmed him down.

Then came a quiet gasp. “Innie,” Felix whispered. “Look.”

Reluctantly, Jeongin opened his eyes, gasping softly as he saw countless fireflies around them, illuminating the lake with their gentle glow.

He couldn’t help but feel disappointed when they both pulled away at that to see their surroundings better, but Felix looked so enchanted by the view so Jeongin let go.

He didn’t need the fireflies. He’d rather stay in the dark if that meant that he could be in Felix’s arms, but he didn’t say that.

His breath hitched when he suddenly felt Felix’s hand on his own, but when he turned to look at him, Felix was still looking at the fireflies.

But he was holding his hand, grounding him—and for the first time after he had met his soulmate, Jeongin thought that he was going to be alright.

Slowly and uncertainly, he intertwined their finger together, hoping that it wasn’t too much for the older.

He almost let out a breath of relief when Felix let him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

It didn’t matter what the fates had determined, because Jeongin knew who his heart was pointing to.

There was no way he was going to ever let go of the hand he was holding.

The fates can go to hell.

Notes:

the way ao3 went down spooked me because i don't have my fic saved anywhere outside of ao3 😂 anyways just in case, if ao3 is ever gone (please no jshdsd) you can find me on tumblr and maybe i'll post the fic somewhere else

this one took a while to get done, i struggled with jeongin's perspective because i feel like i can't make it right - or at least the way i imagined it. i hope this chapter wasn't too confusing!!! it's basically just felix's perspective and then it kinda goes back in time to show jeongin's

also i've been thinking about how i can include their other names like yongbok, IN, etc. in the fic but i can't find a satisfying excuse for em so i'm going to stick with everyone having one name/nickname. have a great week!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 7: Soulmates

Summary:

Jeongin’s brow was furrowed as he spoke, “Hyung, do you know what happens when a commoner turns out to be the soulmate of a noble?”

Jeongin just stared at the person in front of him blankly while the other fidgeted anxiously.

“Please say something?” Jisung said tentatively.

Say something? What was he supposed to say? All Jeongin wanted now was to get away from the capital and its suffocating walls—and his soulmate, more than anything else—and forget everything that happened.

All he wanted was for the person in front of him to disappear, for all of this to be nothing but a fever dream.

“What’s your name?” Jisung prodded when Jeongin said nothing.

Considering how he hadn’t been rude or anything, Jeongin reluctantly thought that he could at least give him his name.

“…Jeongin.”

Jisung seemed relieved now that Jeongin was at least talking, taking it as his cue to start rambling. “Okay… You don’t seem very pleased at the revelation, and I get it… I think you’re still trying to process it or something, heck, I’m still trying to process it. But I just wanted to say that I’m so glad that I’ve found you. We’ve been searching for you for a long time.”

Jeongin just stared at him like he was speaking an entirely different language, so he continued, “Everyone would be so happy when they finally meet you. By the way, where do you live? Do you think that maybe—”

“What do you mean we?” Jeongin asked when he finally found his voice.

Jisung blinked. “What?”

“You said ‘we’ve been searching for you’.”

“We, me and our other soulmates, of course?” Jisung said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, face filled with confusion.

Jeongin’s brain stopped working at the phrase our other soulmates.

“I was thinking that if you’d like, you could come with me to meet them? They’d all be so happy, trust me. Oh, and by the way, you must’ve felt some pain not long ago? Sorry about that, Chan hyung went overboard with training—he’s always like that, but he’s usually careful not to get hurt. Anyways, it won’t happen again. I’ll make sure he apologizes himself because—”

“No.”

Jisung froze. “I’m sorry?”

“No. I’m not… I’m not coming with you.”

Jisung’s face fell at that, and since he had been a decent guy compared to the rude noble he bumped into earlier, it made Jeongin feel a little guilty.

“But—”

“My dad’s waiting for me,” Jeongin stated. “We’re departing soon.” More like now, since Jeongin was pretty sure that it he had been gone for more than 30 minutes.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

Jisung frowned. “Oh… You’re not from here?”

“No. I’m from Duskwood.”

Jisung’s face scrunched up slightly at that, looking like he was trying to think of a solution. “Okay… Then maybe I can come with you? If you give me like an hour or so, I can get the others, and we can all come with you,” he said, looking more excited at the idea with each passing second. “I’ve never been to Duskwood, actually, I don’t think any of us have been to—”

Maybe it was the excitement and enthusiasm on Jisung’s face—which couldn’t be more different than what Jeongin was feeling—but Jeongin felt himself running out of patience? Decency? Running out of anything good.

“Please leave me alone,” he said, sounding harsher than intended.

The noble was gaping, and then the next second, he looked like he was going to cry.

“This is too much for me,” Jeongin hurriedly said. “I… I’m sorry if I’m being rude, but this is too much. I never thought that I’d have multiple soulmates, and I have…” I have someone I love, he almost said, but he held back. “You’re a noble and I’m nobody. I’m sure your other soulmates are probably the same and—”

Jisung’s face twisted, seemingly upset at what Jeongin’s words. “That doesn’t matter, we don’t care about—”

“I care,” Jeongin interjected. “And I don’t know if I want this,” he added quietly. That was a lie, he knew didn’t want this. He didn’t want this at all. He’d rather die. But he couldn’t just say that, because the man in front of him looked like he was two seconds away from a breakdown or something. Jeongin could relate, he felt exactly the same. “I need… Give me time to think.”

Jisung swallowed heavily. He couldn’t understand what was happening. Here he was in front of him, the soulmate he had been searching for all his life, and he looked like he wanted nothing to do with Jisung.

The thought hurt. It hurt because of how much Jisung had longed to find him—how much they all have longed to find him. They’ve spent countless hours talking about their last soulmate, wondering what kind of person they’d be, wondering what kind of life they were living.

And here he was in front of Jisung, but all he wanted was to leave.

Jisung wanted to be angry. He wanted to lash out and scream at Jeongin, because he wasn’t making any sense. But the boy in front of him looked like he was hurting too, so Jisung didn’t do that.

“Okay,” Jisung said instead, voice no louder than a whisper. “Okay.”

Jeongin looked relieved at that, already turning on his heel, desperate to go. Desperate to get away from Jisung, which Jisung couldn’t tolerate.

He grabbed Jeongin’s arm one more time. “When you’re done thinking, would you write me?” Jisung asked before he could say anything. “Just… just address it to Han Jisung. It will get to me.”

Jeongin stayed silent for a few seconds, like he was giving it a thought. But then he nodded, so Jisung released his grip.

Without a word, Jeongin hurriedly turned on his heel and rushed away, which stung more than Jisung thought it would.

Taking a shuddering breath, he wondered how he would tell his soulmates about finally finding their last soulmate, and how said soulmate had practically run away from them like they were the worst people on earth.

Maybe it will be fine. Jeongin would write to him in a few days, apologize for panicking and then they can all finally meet.

Yeah, it would probably be fine.

 

---

 

Felix woke up with an ache.

Not that he’s not used to that, but usually it’s a lot more bearable thanks to his potion, but now it’s increasingly getting harder to ignore and he knew that it was only going to get worse if he doesn’t do anything about it.

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself out of bed and started getting ready for the day.

By the time Felix finished helping around the inn, it was already noon, so now he had the rest of the day to figure out how he was going to brew his potion.

A wild, slightly risky idea popped in his mind. Maybe he could try going to the sorcerer and begging her to let him brew in her place or something.

Minhyuk was still nowhere to be found, and he didn’t exactly want to cause trouble for him, so he was set on his new plan.

Unfortunately, he ran into Jeongin in front of Wooyoung’s house, and the younger wanted to hang out, so of course Felix couldn’t say no.

That was how he found himself sitting under a shady tree near the fields, shoulder-to-shoulder with Jeongin. He tried closing his eyes and taking deep breaths in an attempt to ease the increasing pain. It didn’t help.

“Can I ask you a question, hyung?” Jeongin finally broke the silence.

Felix opened his eyes and glanced at him. “Sure.”

Jeongin had recounted his encounter with his soulmate last night after he calmed down some more, so Felix was aware about the fact that he had multiple soulmates. Jeongin didn’t specify how many and he didn’t mention anything about him as he recounted his conversation with Jisung—so Felix concluded that Jeongin probably forgot to ask.

“If I tell you that I’m going to reject my soulmates, what would you say?”

Felix turned to the younger, blinking rapidly as he tried to comprehend his words, pain forgotten for a moment. “Why?” he asked in confusion.

Jeongin blinked back at him, looking like he couldn’t comprehend Felix’s response.

“…they’re nobles, hyung.”

“They are,” Felix said slowly. He still didn’t entirely understand what was behind the bad sentiment towards nobles, but he didn’t want to overstep because he realized he knew nothing compared to Jeongin. But then again, whenever he heard the word noble, all he could think of was just Minhyuk and his playful smile. “But… maybe not all nobles are bad?” he suggested softly.

Jeongin’s brow was furrowed as he spoke, “Hyung, do you know what happens when a commoner turns out to be the soulmate of a noble?”

That made Felix pause. Does something happen in particular? He had no idea. He tried racking his brain for any fictional books he had read about commoners and nobles being soulmates, but nothing came to mind. There was one tale about a commoner who turned out to be the soulmate of a prince, but that’s very fictional and unrealistic that Felix wasn’t sure if anything in that story held any truth.

Sheepishly, Felix shook his head. “Why, what happens?”

Jeongin sighed. Judging from his reaction, it was obvious that the older was clueless about the matter, so Jeongin wasn’t particularly annoyed at Felix for not taking his side.

“It doesn’t happen very often, commoners being soulmates with nobles,” Jeongin started. “But when it does happen… For one, the commoner has to, well, stop being a commoner, because fates forbid a noble be soulmates with anyone other than another noble, right,” he said a little bitterly.

Now Felix was frowning, confused. “How can a commoner just stops being a commoner?”

“They leave their family behind and officially become part of the nobles’ family,” Jeongin explained. “In some very, very rare cases, the nobles might allow the commoner to bring their family along or something like that. But like I said, it’s rare. They’re already taking in one commoner into their family, they aren’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of having of more commoners. It makes them less elite or something, especially compared to nobles who are soulmates with other nobles. Which obviously, helps solidify the alliance between the families, making them more powerful or whatever.”

Felix’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What— That’s horrible!” he said, sounding aghast. “Wait, does that mean…”

“That’s probably what’s going to happen to me if I agree to be with them,” Jeongin said grimly, his face darkening. “But I don’t want that, I won’t. This is my home. Even if they agree to take in both of my parents, I still won’t go with them. My family is more than just my parents. It’s Wooyoung hyung and San hyung and the aunts and uncles and… and you.”

That last part caught Felix off guard, making his eyes sting a little. Jeongin thinks of him as family. “Jeongin-ah…”

“I’m pretty sure no noble would agree with me bringing half the village with me to their magnificent estate, so I’m not going anywhere,” Jeongin added quickly, seemingly a little embarrassed at what he had said. “Besides, even if they did, I don’t think any of you would want to come. Could you imagine how Wooyoung hyung would fare in a mansion?”

Felix snickered at the thought. “There will be no mansion left in a few days.”

Jeongin grinned. “Exactly.”

Felix smiled fondly at the younger, relieved to see him in better spirits compared to yesterday, before returning to the topic. “So... we do have the freedom to choose whether to be with our soulmates or not?”

Jeongin nodded. “Mostly,” he mumbled. “It varies, I guess. More influential nobles would probably do anything to bring the commoner into their family. Not because of anything, but because they don’t want their heirs to be vulnerable. I heard they could be exceptionally greedy and evil when it comes to power and influence, they play dirty,” he added, looking disgusted. “Once, I heard a commoner turned out to be the soulmate of an heir of one of the Twelve Noble Families. She went missing for almost a month, and when she’s found she’s all beaten and bruised. Of course, the nobles immediately whisked her away from her family to keep her ‘safe and protected’. No one’s seen her since, not even her family.”

Felix felt sick to the stomach.

“Are you saying that someone kidnapped and hurt her just to get to her soulmate’s family?” he asked, hoping that he misunderstood the whole thing.

Jeongin shrugged. “What else could it be?” he sighed. “We commoners don’t exactly have any powerful enemies with the resources to hurt and keep someone for a whole month without getting caught,” he said. “Besides, we’re all too busy with our own lives, with our jobs. Who’s got the time to kidnap another commoner? And what for? None of us have anything valuable enough to be used as a ransom or anything of the sort.”

All this talk about soulmates surprisingly made Felix a little apprehensive about nobles. Sure, Minhyuk and his mother were great, Felix would bet that they both have never hurt a fly or something. But for the first time, he thought that maybe the villager’s attitude—his friends included—towards nobles are not unfounded.

And maybe it was understandable, how being soulmates with a noble would upset Jeongin so much.

“What do you think about him, though?”

“Him?”

“Your soulmate,” Felix said carefully. “The one you met at the capital.”

Jeongin sighed as he looked down at his hands, face contorting into a frown. “I… don’t know.”

Felix waited.

“I guess… he wasn’t rude,” Jeongin admitted reluctantly. “And he looked excited. He doesn’t seem like a bad person…” he trailed off. “But you’ll never know with nobles. They’re like that, hyung. They’re good at lying and manipulating people.”

Deciding it was best not to disagree at the moment, Felix remained silent. But then… but then he imagined Jeongin in ten, twenty years, and he imagined him alone. He didn’t like that.

“If you think that he’s not bad, then maybe you could give him a chance?” Felix suggested tentatively.

Jeongin’s face changed in a split second, he looked angry, offended and heartbroken at the same time.

“What I mean was, maybe you can try getting to know him first? Getting to know them first,” Felix added quickly. “Maybe if they’re good people, you guys can be friends, at least? Of course, if they’re anything like you said, if they try to force you into anything or if they try to hurt you, I wouldn’t let them do that. Over my dead body,” he said firmly.

Jeongin’s expression shifted again at that, this time he looked disturbed. “Don’t say that, hyung.”

“I mean it,” Felix shrugged. “I won’t let them hurt you. And I’m sure the hyungs wouldn’t too. We’d fight the whole kingdom, if it’s for you."

I’d fight the whole kingdom, if it’s for you.

He meant every single word. Of course, the part about Wooyoung and San was just speculation on his part, he knew how deeply the two cared for Jeongin. He was almost certain that if he were to pick fights with the entire kingdom for Jeongin's sake, the two would be on his team.

Jeongin was left speechless, face contorting a little as if he was grappling with his emotions.

“You’re not alone, Innie,” Felix said gently. “We’re here with you. I’m here with you. Be it nobles or whatever, I won’t…” he flushed a little, realizing how he hadn’t been filtering his thoughts for the past few minutes. “I won’t let them hurt you,” he finished a little sheepishly.

“Hyung, you’re going to make me cry,” Jeongin said, eyes brimming dangerously with tears.

“You can cry as much as you want,” Felix said kindly. “I’ll hold you through it.”

That was enough to make Jeongin jump straight for a hug, burying his face in the crook of Felix’s neck, which tickled a little. Felix wrapped his arms around him with a fond huff.

There had been so many hugs recently. Felix wasn’t complaining.

“I’m not a crybaby,” Jeongin said after a while, voice muffled.

Felix chuckled. “I never said you were," he teased.

“But you’re thinking it.”

“No,” Felix said, gently running his fingers through Jeongin’s hair. “I’m happy that you’re crying in front of me,” he said mindlessly before hurriedly adding, “because it means that you’re not crying alone.”

Jeongin chuckled wetly. “I swear you’re just trying to make me cry now.”

“No, I’m not,” Felix pouted. “I like it best when you’re happy.”

Jeongin said nothing at that, but Felix could feel his arms tightening slightly around him. He was thinking about what to say before he perked up as he noticed Wooyoung and San slowly approaching from a distance—Wooyoung was waving his hand wildly in an attempt to get his attention, which was unnecessary since he already spotted them.

“The hyungs are here,” Felix told Jeongin, trying to pull away a little to look at his face, wanting to make sure if he was alright.

Jeongin didn’t let him, arms tightening even more it almost hurt—burying his face deeper.

“Don’t let them see me, hyung,” he said, sounding a little panicked. “Please.”

Felix’s brain stopped functioning for half a second then. How was he supposed to do that?

An idea popped in his mind—the only idea he could come up with at the moment.

“Go away, hyung!” Felix shouted, sounding a little hysterical. He brilliantly raised his arm and frantically gestured for the two approaching figures to go away.

“What?” Wooyoung yelled back, still steadily approaching them.

“Go away!” Felix screamed, a lot louder this time. “Don’t come here!”

“Why?” Wooyoung yelled back, sounding confused and concerned. Behind him, San was tugging at his shirt in an attempt to stop him, which was not working.

Alarmed at the rate Wooyoung and San were approaching, Felix's mind was spinning.

“They’re not leaving, fates, Innie, what do I do,” Felix babbled as he scanned their surroundings frantically, looking for something he could use to get Wooyoung to leave. There was nothing but grass around them. There were a few branches scattered around the tree, but Felix doubted that throwing branches would do anything other than annoying Wooyoung, which would probably just make him come even faster so that he could teach Felix a lesson or two. He glared at the branches as if they had offended him, wishing that they were something more useful.

Suddenly, Jeongin pulled away, startling Felix out of his mind.

His cheeks were flushed and tear-stained, but there was a smile on his face, and he looked like he had been laughing.

Quickly, he jumped to his feet, wiping away his tears and extending a hand to Felix. “Come on hyung,” Jeongin said with a grin. “Let’s run.”

He pulled Felix up and then started running—dragging Felix behind him, who yelped as he stumbled a little before he regained his balance.

Felix would like to say that he had no idea what was happening, but Jeongin had told him to run, so he did.

“What the—Yah! Why are you running?!” he heard Wooyoung screeching from behind them.

Jeongin let out an airy laugh at that, glancing back to catch Felix’s gaze for a split second, eyes crinkling playfully.

It didn’t matter if Felix was confused out of his mind—Jeongin was just crying not even a few seconds ago but he was laughing like he had no care in the world now, and that’s the only thing that mattered.

It admittedly felt like they were all kids again at the moment, running around freely with Wooyoung hot on their heels.

But Felix wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

---

 

Admittedly, running like a madman wasn’t a good idea when his entire body was throbbing with pain, but Felix had no regrets.

Jeongin had gone back home, saying that he needed to talk to his parents. Felix could guess what it’s about.

The hyungs went… somewhere. Felix had no idea. They’re probably eating each others’ faces or something, which is what they usually do when nobody knows where they are. At least, that was what Jeongin told him. Felix never bothered to imagine how that looked, but he got the idea.

Now, Felix found himself pacing back and forth in front of the intimidating house of the sorcerer. He had snuck back to his room, retrieved the basket filled with plants and herbs, and snuck back out. Felix was glad he didn’t stumble into Wooyoung and San on his way here.

Biting his lips as an attempt to distract himself from the pulsing pain, he braced himself.

He had to do this.

Clearing his throat, Felix straightened himself.

“Excuse me!” he called out.

The sorcerer’s house was located away from the housing areas. It was kind of out of nowhere, surrounded by wild bushes and trees—a little like the lake minus the lake part.

“Excuse me!” he tried again, raising his voice. There was no movement or response, so in his desperation, he continued. “I need your help, please! I don’t know where else to go!”

The silence that enveloped the house made Felix feel as if it was mocking him.

“Please!” he shouted desperately.

Helplessly, he looked around for something—anything that could magically solve all his life's problems. He found nothing.

The sound of locks being undone nearly startled Felix out of his skin. With a mixture of anticipation and trepidation, he stared at the wooden door.

A few seconds later, it swung open, revealing an intimidating young woman, who was almost taller than Felix. Perched on her shoulder was a crow, which tilted its head slightly in his direction.

“H-hi,” Felix stammered, suddenly realizing that this might not have been such a great idea. The sorcerer didn’t look particularly thrilled to see him. “I’m really sorry for disturbing you…” he trailed off.

The sorcerer said nothing, her stoic face fixed on him.

“It’s… I need a potion,” Felix said. “I have the ingredients here, but I don’t have anywhere to brew it? It’s really, really important. So I was thinking that maybe you could let me… brew it in your kitchen, please?” Felix rambled, feeling increasingly dumber by the second because now that he was explaining everything out loud, he realized how stupid his thought process sounded. “I don’t… I don’t have money, but I’ll do anything to pay you back! Anything, you can ask me to do anything and I’ll do it for you,” he added desperately.

According to his friends and the villagers, she didn’t like venturing outside, so there must be something Felix could help her with, right? She could send him on errands and he’d do it all in a heartbeat if it meant that he could get his potions.

The sorcerer remained silent and unmoving, making Felix grow increasingly agitated by the second. Was she alive? Had he been pouring his heart out to a statue?

Suddenly, the crow took flight, causing Felix to flinch. It circled him a few times before finally landing on his shoulder with a squawk.

Finally, the sorcerer blinked.

Stepping back, she spoke up. “Come inside.”

At this point, Felix would take anything other than being scrutinized for another second, so he nodded and stepped into the house.

The sorcerer locked the door behind him and Felix prayed that she had invited him inside to help him, not to do anything horrifying like eating him, for example.

“Follow me,” she said.

Swallowing, Felix tightened his grip on the basket and trailed behind the sorcerer, heart pounding in his chest.

He hoped that if she was going to eat him, she would do it so quickly he couldn’t feel it.

Notes:

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 8: Relief

For once, things went very well for Felix because despite her intimidating demeanor, the Sorcerer agreed to let Felix use her kitchen. But of course, it wasn’t without interrogation.

“What potion do you need?”

“Just a simple pain potion,” Felix replied as he fidgeted nervously. “I have, uh, a condition.”

Her eyes sharpened at that. “What condition?”

Now this was the part he hadn’t really thought through. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, hoping that she would accept his answer and not kick him out of her house just yet.

She extended her hand, asking him to hand his basket of herbs, so he did. She looked through them with her calculating eyes before she looked back at him.

“You got these from the forest, didn’t you?”

Felix’s face fell. “Please don’t tell anyone?”

“Who would I tell, my crow?” She deadpanned. The crow, who was still perched on Felix’s shoulder, cawed. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks,” Felix said, glancing at the bird as he smiled in relief. “What’s his name?”

“Her,” the Sorcerer corrected. “Her name’s Byeol.”

Cute, Felix thought.

“How about you?” The Sorcerer asked.

It was then Felix realized that he hadn’t introduced himself. “Oh, sorry. I’m Felix. I’m staying at Mr. Jung’s inn.”

The Sorcerer nodded as if she had expected that. “My name’s Hayeon,” she said, her demeanor softening slightly. “You can brew your potion here, feel free to use whatever you need.”

Felix felt so relieved and thankful he could’ve kissed her or something. “Thank you, noona,” he said, because she was clearly older than him.

She nodded, and for a second Felix thought that she was going to leave him to his devices, but that was just wistful thinking on his part because she walked up to the dining table, pulled the chair, and sat down. Felix supposed that it made sense since he was essentially a stranger, so it expected that she wouldn’t just trust him and leave him alone.

He wished she did, though, because she was making him nervous. Following her lead, Byeol finally left him and took her place near a small window.

Taking a deep breath, Felix set his basket of ingredients on a worn wooden table at the center of the room. He looked around, gaze falling upon an assortment of pots and cauldrons hanging from hooks above a hearth.

And then slowly, he started to take the herbs out of the basket, arranging them on the table with care. He could practically feel her scrutinizing eyes on him, but he tried his best to ignore them.

Focusing on his potion helped. Felix felt himself relaxing because this he was familiar with. Helping his uncle get the ingredients ready for brewing was always a relaxing activity for him. A lot more relaxing than brewing a potion himself, which he did quite a lot since after his uncle taught him how to brew his own potion, he was always the one responsible for that. Plus, his uncle would sometimes ask him to brew some simple non-magical potions.

He settled into a steady rhythm, the presence of the sorcerer and her familiar was almost forgotten. After cutting and grinding the ingredients using a small mortar and pestle, he reached for a copper pot, filled it with water, and placed it on the open flame of the hearth.

His movements were deliberate and focused as he added the powdered mixture to the pot, stirring it gently with a wooden spoon. Felix observed the pot, his eyes tracing the swirls of steam rising from the liquid, as he adjusted the heat to ensure that it was simmering. Occasionally, he would reach out and stir the potion, ensuring that everything was completely mixed.

When the potion finally reached its desired consistency and color—an amber hue that glowed—Felix let out a breath of relief before carefully removing the pot from the heat, letting it cool on a sturdy wooden surface.

“You’re good at this,” Hayeon’s voice came, startling him.

“T-thanks,” Felix stammered as he looked up to glance at her. She was still sitting on the wooden chair, her expression thoughtful as she watched him. “I used to help my uncle when he’s brewing.”

Hayeon hummed thoughtfully.

“Come sit,” she said, gesturing to the chair across her. “Let’s talk while you wait for your potion to cool down.”

 

---

 

Felix barged into Wooyoung’s bedroom with the force of a hurricane, startling the older who was lying down on his bed.

“I got it!” Felix exclaimed as he glomped Wooyoung, embracing him tightly—ignoring the surprised oomph. His excitement was evident in the way he held onto the older. Felix’s cheeks were hurting from the grin that was stretched on his face, feeling exceptionally happy and giddy.

Returning the hug, Wooyoung spoke up, sounding confused but happy for Felix, “You got what?”

“A job!” Felix said, his voice muffled against Wooyoung's shoulder. “I got a job!”

Wooyoung pulled away at that. “You got a job?” he repeated as if Felix was telling him that he got a pet dragon. “Why would you get a job?”

Pausing at the unexpected response, Felix realized that he never actually talked to Wooyoung about getting a job. He did think about it, but then got too busy with his potion and Jeongin and everything else that it slipped his mind entirely.

Sensing a serious discussion, Felix moved until he was seated in front of Wooyoung. “Well, I can’t rely on your kindness forever, hyung,” he said carefully.

Wooyoung looked almost offended at that, so Felix continued. “You and your parents have been the kindest to me, letting me stay and giving me food and everything for free. I can’t just keep taking without giving.”

“Why not?” Wooyoung asked like Felix wasn’t making any sense.

“Of course I can’t, hyung,” Felix sighed. “I can’t just do nothing. I need to give back—I need to pay you back.”

Wooyoung’s expression turned into a scowl at the word pay.

“I never wanted you to pay me back,” he said firmly. “Neither do my parents. I’ve told you before, you’re like family to me—you’re like family to us. Besides, you have been helping with the inn this whole time, and you always wake up early to help Mom with breakfast. So don’t say that you’ve been doing nothing.”

“That’s different,” Felix huffed.

“No, it’s not.”

“Hyung,” Felix whined. “I didn’t come to argue with you.”

“Who’s arguing? We’re just having a conversation.”

Good point. But said conversation was steadily turning into an argument.

Huffing, Felix replied, “Can’t you just congratulate me for getting the job?”

“Congrats on getting the job,” Wooyoung’s face melted into a grin as he ruffled Felix’s hair. “There will be no paying back or whatever. Now tell me about this job.”

Felix groaned but didn’t retaliate. He won’t argue his case, but he was definitely paying them back. He would find a way. Maybe he could hide money around the house and make them think that it’s their own money.

That sounded like a pretty good idea.

With that, Felix jumped into the explanation of how the Sorcerer offered him a job as her assistant, running errands and helping her with potions when needed. Lying about why he went to her house wasn’t so hard—he told Wooyoung that he went there to ask if she knew his uncle—because he actually did ask her about that. She had never heard of him, though.

“The Sorcerer?” Wooyoung asked, surprised. “That’s amazing, Lix. I heard she’s brilliant at what she does. If she wasn’t so antisocial, she could’ve been successful in bigger villages,” he added.

“Really?”

Wooyoung nodded. “There has never been anyone she couldn’t heal or help. Plus, I heard that she doesn’t charge much.”

“Wow. She’s really kind, then.”

“Probably,” Wooyoung agreed. “Do you think she is? I never actually met her, so you’d know better.”

Felix made a thoughtful noise. “I think she is,” he said after a few seconds. She had let him use her kitchen even though she didn’t know him. That was very kind of her.

They talked some more about the Sorcerer, Wooyoung being curious about her familiar, Byeol, after Felix mentioned meeting it yesterday.

The older ran out of questions after a while, so they settled into a comfortable silence. Although, Wooyoung kept glancing at him like he wanted to say something, so Felix spoke up, “What is it, hyung?”

“What’s what?” Wooyoung replied a little too quickly.

Felix raised his eyebrows. “You look like you want to say something. What is it?”

Finally, Wooyoung relented. “Well, it’s not that I want to say something, it’s more like I want to ask you something…”

“Okay?” Felix said, wondering what this was about. “Ask away.”

“This might be a weird question…” Wooyoung started, his tone uncertain. “But I was just wondering what you think about Jeongin?”

“Jeongin?” Felix repeated, blinking in confusion. That was kinda out of nowhere. “What do you mean?”

“Like what do you think of him? Or like, what do you feel about him?” Wooyoung explained, looking slightly abashed by the second.

“He’s great?” Felix said, but it sounded like a question because he was confused.

Wooyoung sighed, looking strangely disappointed. “I mean, you know there was that thing at the beginning when you guys didn’t really get along? So I was just wondering, you know, what you feel about him now? Like what do you think about him?” he pressed.

“Oh,” Felix said. Right, he forgot that happened. “You know Innie’s amazing, hyung. As you said, he’s a great guy. He’s a very important friend to me now,” he said sincerely.

“Friend?” Wooyoung repeated.

“Yeah,” Felix said brightly. “Just like you predicted, we’ve become good friends.”

“Good, good,” Wooyoung said, but he looked a little exasperated. “Anything else?” he asked expectantly.

Felix had no idea what Wooyoung wanted him to say about his friendship with Jeongin. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Wooyoung said. “I mean, I saw you guys hugging earlier…”

Oh, that. “You know he’s been upset after the trip to the capital,” Felix explained. “I was just trying to comfort him.”

Wooyoung’s face fell at that. “Oh… that’s what it was?”

Felix sighed as he remembered how lost and sad Jeongin looked. He hoped his talk with Mr. and Mrs. Yang went alright. “Yeah,” Felix muttered. “It’s not my story to tell, so you’ll just have to wait. But I think he’ll tell you guys soon.”

“Right,” Wooyoung said, looking worried now. “Sorry, I didn’t think… I mean, he looked alright earlier, so I didn’t think it was about that.”

“He‘s feeling better, I think,” Felix said quietly. He hoped.

“So it was just that?”

Felix frowned. “Why else would I be hugging him, hyung?” he asked. “You told me he doesn’t really like hugs or physical affection.”

“No, no!” Wooyoung said vehemently. “He just doesn’t like it when it’s from me or San,” he added. “He loves physical affection. Especially hugs.”

“Really?”

“Totally,” Wooyoung said, smiling brightly. “I mean, it worked earlier, right? He felt better after you gave him a hug?”

“I think so,” Felix contemplated, a little uncertain.

“You should do it more often,” Wooyoung suggested. “It will definitely help cheer him up, with all that’s been going on.”

Huffing, Felix said, “You don’t even know what’s going on, hyung.”

“Yet,” Wooyoung retorted confidently. “I’ll know soon. Besides, it doesn’t matter. It will cheer him up regardless.”

 

---

 

The mood was somber when Jeongin finally told his hyungs about what happened in the capital. To Jeongin’s surprise, San was the one who spoke up first.

“It will be fine,” he said as he gave Jeongin a shoulder hug. “No noble’s gonna take you anywhere.”

“Of course not,” Wooyoung seconded, his voice tinged with anger at the thought. “We’ve got you, Innie.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongin said. He hoped Jisung and his other soulmates aren’t very powerful nobles or something. The fact that there were multiple of them was worrying enough. Jeongin wasn’t entirely sure how he would go against multiple noble families.

Despite their calm demeanors, he could sense how stiff his friends were. They were probably thinking the same thing.

“Maybe we could run,” Wooyoung suggested quietly, his voice almost a whisper as if he was afraid anyone was listening in on them. “Change our names, shave our heads, or something.”

Jeongin snorted, “Where would we run, hyung?” he asked. “Besides, you’d look horrible with your head shaved.

“Excuse me?” Wooyoung gasped playfully. “I’d look dashing with my head shaved. Tell him, Sannie.”

“Sure you will,” San said, grinning foolishly like he was lovestruck.

Jeongin rolled his eyes so hard he saw the back of his head.

“See,” Wooyoung said proudly.

Humming noncommittally, Jeongin let out a soft sigh, the weight of the situation settling back on him. The more he thought about it, the more he was unsure about what he was going to do. He was fully sold on rejecting them, but he wasn’t sure if they would just accept it and leave him alone. If word spread about him being their soulmate, it would probably put them in a vulnerable position, and Jeongin knew that no noble liked that.

“Hey guys,” a cheerful voice jolted Jeongin out of his thoughts. Felix came into his view with his usual energy, instantly bringing a sense of relief to the tense atmosphere. He gave San a fist bump, before turning to Jeongin.

“Hi, hyung,” Jeongin greeted him with a small smile.

“Hi, Innie,” Felix replied, pulling him into a brief hug before doing the same to Wooyoung. San started complaining about not getting a hug, which made Felix giggle before pulling the older into a brief hug—Jeongin wasn’t really paying attention because his heart was thrumming so loudly in his ears and he could feel how warm his face was becoming.

Wooyoung flashed him a knowing grin, and Jeongin almost gave up self-control and shove him or something.

“Lix, tell them about your good news,” Wooyoung prompted.

“Oh, right,” Felix said, eyes lighting up in excitement. “I got a job! Hayeon noona, is hiring me as her assistant of some sort.”

“That’s the Sorcerer’s name, by the way,” Wooyoung informed them.

“That’s really amazing, Felix!” San cheered, his genuine happiness for Felix evident in his voice. “How did you manage to do that? There was once someone from the capital who came all the way here because she wanted to be her apprentice, but the Sorcerer told her no. Poor girl, she went back home the next day.”

“Well, I’m no apprentice,” Felix said sheepishly. “I can’t do magic. I’m just assisting her with stuff, running errands when she needs me to, and helping out with brewing if asked. I used to help my uncle brew potions.”

“Still sounds amazing to me,” San shrugged.

“Congrats, hyung,” Jeongin chimed in. He wasn’t all that familiar with the Sorcerer, but he knew that his mom went to her several times for help.

“Thanks, Innie,” Felix turned to him, smiling brightly. “I’m so excited. I start tomorrow, and I just can’t wait. I can finally buy you guys…” his eyes trailed away, looking at something behind them as his smile slowly faded.

Jeongin turned to see who had dared to make that smile disappear so quickly, and he was met by a very nervous Minhyuk.

“Hi, sorry,” Minhyuk said to them before he caught Felix’s eyes. “Can I talk to you, Felix?”

Jeongin had a thing or two to say about that. He could see how tense Felix was now, so something must’ve happened between the two, and it was definitely nothing good because Felix always looked so happy whenever he sees Minhyuk, but he didn’t look particularly happy now.

“Yes,” Felix said before any of them could say anything. Jeongin glanced toward him, feeling slightly irritated and betrayed because he didn’t want him to go with the noble. “Sorry guys, I’ll talk to you later.”

With that, the two went fates-knows-where, leaving Jeongin worried and strangely angry.

“Scowling at their backs wouldn’t make him magically come back, Innie,” Wooyoung said, trying to ease the tension. Jeongin turned to him and threw him a heated glare.

“Youngie…” San said, tone like he was warning him.

“But I share your sentiment,” Wooyoung added, pursing his lips. “He spends too much time with him. While you were in the capital, he practically hung out with him every day.”

Jeongin didn’t like that. It made him feel angry and upset and pissed and he had no idea how to deal with those emotions. He couldn’t exactly chase after them and ask Felix not to be friends with Minhyuk; Felix wouldn’t like that.

“Felix isn’t stupid,” San said, making Jeongin and Wooyoung turn to him. “He knows Minhyuk better than we do. Maybe not all nobles are—” he stopped himself when two very angry glares were directed at him. With a grimace, he raised his hands defensively. “Nevermind. I said nothing.”

 

---

 

Felix wasn’t surprised when he found himself at the lake. It felt like it’s been forever since he was last here with Minhyuk.

He was really worried about his friend. Their walk to the lake was silent—Minhyuk wasn’t flirting, teasing, joking, or even saying anything; if that wasn’t an indicator of something wrong, Felix wouldn’t know what was. The rustling of leaves and the distant calls of birds were the only sounds that accompanied them, amplifying the tension in the air.

He had been thinking about it a lot, and his biggest worry was about the shouting, the fight they heard. What if it was because of him? What if Minhyuk’s father found out that a commoner was in their house, and that’s why he fought with his mother? Felix didn’t know for sure if that voice belonged to Minhyuk’s father, but it was his best guess.

As they reached the edge of the lake, the gentle lapping of water against the shore provided a calming rhythm, which contrasted what Felix was feeling. The trees swayed in the breeze, casting dancing shadows on the grassy bank where they stood.

Felix thought that Minhyuk would finally say something after they arrived at the lake, but the older just stood and stared at the scenery in front of him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m so sorry, hyung.”

They spoke up at the same time. Minhyuk finally turned to face him, looking startled and confused.

“What? Why are you sorry?” he asked incredulously.

Felix blinked. “I mean… you and your mom got into trouble because of me? Because I was there?” Felix asked, biting his lips as guilt swirled in his stomach.

“No,” Minhyuk said, sounding frustrated and upset. “Where did you get that idea from? You didn’t get us into trouble.”

“I didn’t?” Felix asked, sounding a little breathless, feeling relieved at the revelation. He had been so worried and guilty the past few days.

“You didn’t,” Minhyuk said, seemingly even more upset now. “Fates, I’m sorry I made you think that. You didn’t get us into trouble, my father didn’t even know you were there.”

Felix let out a breath of relief. It felt like he had been holding that particular breath for days. “I’m glad,” he said quietly before he remembered something. “But… you’ve been gone? I thought you were mad at me.”

Shaking his head, Minhyuk looked down. Felix could see how his hands were clenched into fists.

“I was too embarrassed to face you,” Minhyuk gritted out, the weight of his emotions evident in every word he uttered. “I was so—I was so pathetic! I hear his voice and I froze like a coward, my mother was out there fighting him and I was too pathetic and scared to go and fight him with her and I…” he let out a shaky breath as he squeezed his eyes shut, the vivid memories of that moment replaying in his mind.

“You’re not pathetic, hyung,” Felix said as he stepped closer, his voice filled with compassion and understanding.

Minhyuk gave a short, mirthless laugh. He kept his eyes closed, too embarrassed to face the younger boy. “Yes I am,” he said. “You don’t need to be nice about it. I know I am.”

“Hyung…”

“And I hate it,” Minhyuk continued, his voice cracking with emotion. “I hate how helpless I get when it comes to him. I can’t even move. I can’t even breathe properly and I… I was supposed to protect my mother. I was supposed to stand up for her and protect her from him, but every time it happens all I was able to do was just—”

Minhyuk’s eyes snapped back open when he felt a gentle touch on his face.

Their faces were only inches apart now. If Minhyuk tried, he could’ve counted the freckles on Felix’s face.

Felix wiped his tears away so gently that Minhyuk almost sobbed.

“It’s raining,” Felix said, entirely ignoring how the sun was hanging above them brightly.

Minhyuk choked out a laugh, his tears started streaming down uncontrollably this time. “Yeah,” he managed to say, grateful that Felix somehow figured that not acknowledging that he was pathetically bawling was just the thing he needed. “I forgot my umbrella at home.”

“It’s okay, hyung,” he heard Felix say quietly before he felt his arms around him. “Even in the rain, you’re still beautiful.”

On any normal day, Minhyuk would be thrilled to say something back. But this wasn’t a normal day, it was a very bright and sunny, rainy day where he was sure that if he opened his mouth to say anything, the only thing that would come out was a sob, so he said nothing.

He couldn’t help but think that maybe, if Felix was with him, he could finally be brave.

 

---

 

Felix found himself in front of Hayeon’s house the next day.

He couldn’t help but feel a little gloomy, because he felt like there has been so many things happening recently. He had witnessed two of his friends cry multiple times in the past few days, and that was multiple times too much. It weighed heavily on his heart.

He wished there was something he could do to actually help them with their situation other than helplessly trying to comfort them as they weep.

He stayed with Minhyuk for a few hours before they parted ways. He ran into Jeongin on his way back to the inn, and they talked a little. Jeongin told him that he finally received replies from his friends from the neighboring villages, but there wasn’t any good news. None of them had heard about Uncle Insu.

Felix had hoped that he might’ve actually misheard or misunderstood his uncle, maybe he did go to another village—but that still wouldn’t explain why people in Duskwood and neighboring villages never heard of him. It was impossible, so Felix was more or less sure that he must’ve gone with another name.

The potion he brewed worked as it should. It was definitely not as good as his usual potion, but it helped alleviate some of the pain. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind, Felix knocked on the door.

“Just come in, Felix. The door’s not locked,” Hayeon's muffled voice called from inside.

He pushed the door open, smiling as he saw Byeol flying towards him, landing gently on his shoulder.

“Hi,” Felix greeted the crow. “How are you doing today?”

The crow cawed and nipped playfully at his ear, seemingly in good spirits.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Hayeon called out.

“Coming!”

Going straight towards the kitchen, Felix smiled. “Good morning, noona!” he greeted her cheerfully before pausing as he saw the sight in front of him.

“Good morning,” Hayeon replied, her attention still focused on the potion she was working on.

Colors swirled around her, and magic gracefully danced from her fingertips as she worked on her potion. Felix had seen his uncle perform magic, albeit rarely, but it had never looked like this before.

Beautiful.

Hayeon's curious voice pulled him out of his thoughts, “What is?” she asked. Felix must’ve said that out loud.

Felix met her gaze, equally confused as he gestured towards the magic swirling around the room. “This,” he said helplessly.

Hayeon’s hand stopped stirring the potion in front of her as she froze, her gaze on him sharpening. She was now staring at him as if he was an entirely new species or something.

“You can see magic?”

Notes:

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 9: The Wall

Magic, as Felix just learned, was not supposed to be visible.

Felix did wish that Hayeon was a little more cheerful before, but now he was missing her aloof, calm, and collected demeanor because it felt like she just turned into a whole new person. Her eyes were literally sparkling as she pestered him with never-ending questions. She wasn’t even breathing in between questions. Felix was just glad that she had finally stopped gripping his face and staring into his eyes like she was trying to find something in it.

“This is spectacular,” she said for the thousandth time, Felix lost count. “Unbelievable. I’ve never heard about this, I’ve never even read about this—I didn’t even know this was possible!” she said, her body buzzing with excitement. They were now in her workroom, which was filled with books and scattered quills and empty vials. Sunlight filtered through dusty windows, casting warm rays that danced across the room. Hayeon was flipping through the pages of her books, quickly going through each one before closing them and tossing them aside when she didn’t find what she was looking for.

“Noona,” Felix said hesitantly, trying to get her attention. She had been in this frenzy ever since she realized he could see magic, and that was two hours ago. “Maybe you should take a break.”

She turned to him, eyes still a little crazed. “Take a break?” she repeated as if Felix just told her she should jump off a cliff and die. She inched closer and took his face in her hands again, examining his eyes closely as if they held the key to the universe. Felix was starting to regret saying anything at all. “You can see magic! How can I take a break?”

In all honesty, Felix failed to see the correlation between the two statements so he offered her a small, clueless smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

“It’s no big deal, noona,” he tried in another attempt to calm her down. “It’s not like I can do magic, I can just see it.”

“You can just see it,” Hayeon repeated, sounding offended. “If I wasn’t so… not insane, I would have dug our eyes and switched them, just to see if I can see magic that way,” she said, sighing disappointedly as if she was actually considering the idea.

Felix was starting to think that maybe his eyes—his life was in danger. He gaped at her, horrified.

“But of course, I’m not gonna do that. I’m not insane,” Hayeon said quickly. Felix had something to say about that, but arguing about her insanity would probably not help him get out of there with both eyes intact, so he stayed quiet. “You’re amazingly… amazingly blessed, Felix. I’ve never met, seen, heard, or read anything about anyone seeing magic, and yet here you are.”

Maybe the fact that he could see magic was horrible. If this was how Hayeon—the calm, aloof, slightly cold, unbothered Hayeon—reacted to him, he shuddered to think about how others would react.

“Would you mind keeping this a secret, noona?” Felix asked, a little spooked by the thought.

“Again, Felix, who would I tell,” Hayeon retorted, sounding slightly frustrated as if Felix was a student struggling to understand basic addition after years of studying mathematics. “Besides, it would be like finally finding that unicorns are real, and then flaunting it around other people. That would just be dumb.”

“I’m not a unicorn,” Felix said, finding himself feeling slightly offended at being compared to a mythical animal in fantasy books because unicorns are somehow always hunted for being valuable potion ingredients.

“No,” Hayeon agreed easily. “You’re much more valuable than a unicorn.”

“Noona,” Felix whined.

Fortunately, that seemed to finally snap Hayeon from her frenzy. Felix let out a breath of relief as he watched her finally, finally calming down.

“Sorry, Felix,” she said sheepishly, her excitement waning. “It’s just… I have been working with magic my entire life, I’ve been learning magic my entire life and I’ve never—of course I know that it’s real, but it’s never tangible, it’s never visible. Imagine the things I could try if I could see magic! Like, I’d be able to see if I’m using too much or too little, I can study what the different colors mean, the possibility is endless!”

Felix supposed it made sense that she was a little excited since even though he just knew her, he could see how passionate she was about magic.

“Right,” Felix said. “I can help you with that? I mean, you’ve hired me anyways. Granted, I don’t know what’s too much or too little, but we can experiment with stuff?” he suggested. “I can tell you what I’m seeing and you can study it or something.”

Now Hayeon was staring at him like he plucked the moon out of the sky and presented it to her as a gift.

“Fates, that’s brilliant,” Hayeon enthused. “You would really do that?”

“You hired me, noona,” Felix said with a nervous smile. “You can tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it. Well, other than gouging my eyes out and handing them to you. I’m afraid you can’t pay me for that.”

Hayeon laughed brightly at that. “I was just joking, Felix. I’d never do that to you. This is your gift, your blessing. No one can take them away from you.”

“I hope not,” Felix said, not because he was particularly thrilled about having a ‘gift’, but because he couldn’t imagine how the experience would be pleasant for him.

“Trust me,” Hayeon reassured him. “I know a thing or two about blessings. No one can take a blessing away from the bearer.”

 

---

 

 

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf.

 

Hi,

Thank you for giving me time to think.

I think that it would be best for us to pretend this never happened.

I wish you and your soulmates a good life.

 

Jeongin.

 

Felix’s eyes widened in horror as he read the letter. “Innie, no! You can’t send this to him,” he protested.

“Why not?” Jeongin asked innocently as if he couldn’t see anything wrong with the letter.

It’s too blunt, straight to the point, and maybe a little inconsiderate, but Felix didn’t say that.

Felix grimaced. Hesitating, he searched for the right words to convey his thoughts without potentially offending the younger. “Well… didn’t you say that you were going to give them a chance or something?”

“No,” Jeongin pouted. “You said I should give them a chance. I never said that I would.”

Fair point, but Felix thought he had successfully talked Jeongin into this.

“But I thought you had nothing against being friends with them?” Felix asked warily. “They could be great people. What if they’re amazing? What if they’re like, super charming?”

“Hyung,” Jeongin started with a tone parents use to talk to their petulant child, which was unfair because if either of them was the petulant child, it was definitely Jeongin. “What if I don’t care if they’re the most charming people in the world? Why do you want me to give them a chance so much?” he asked, his hurt evident in his voice.

“It’s not like that, Jeongin-ah,” Felix said quickly. “I just… I just want you to be happy. What if when you meet them, they turned out great?”

“I’m happy now,” Jeongin insisted. “I don’t care if they’re great. What if I’m right where I want to be?” he challenged.

“I’m not saying that you should—”

“What if there was someone else I’d rather be with?” Jeongin interrupted, gazing sharply into Felix's eyes, daring him to argue back.

“I… what?” Felix spluttered when he finally processed what Jeongin was saying. “There’s someone you want to be with?”

Jeongin opened his mouth, but then he seemed to change his mind, so he shut it back, jaws tense. He finally averted his gaze away from Felix, opting to stare angrily at the view in front of him.

Felix, on the other hand, had no idea what to think. His mind was spinning, did Jeongin have someone he liked? He tried racking his brain for any clue, but he never really saw the younger hang out with people other than the hyungs.

Realizing he might have said something he shouldn’t have, Felix softened his tone. “I’m sorry, Innie,” Felix apologized. “I didn’t know that you have someone in mind. If that’s the case, then I’m really happy for you,” he said sincerely. If Jeongin really had someone he liked, then Felix didn’t have to worry about him growing old alone, so he had no problem with that. However, he couldn’t entirely ignore the nagging feeling in his mind, so he was admittedly a little disappointed that Jeongin wasn’t giving his soulmates a chance to even meet him. “I’m sorry for pushing you.”

He watched anxiously as Jeongin blinked several times as if he was trying to clear his mind. When he finally turned to Felix, the anger seemed to have died down.

Jeongin took a deep breath and sighed. Surprisingly, he asked, “You really think I should give these people a chance?”

“I mean… Remember when we first met?” Felix prompted. “I was so rude to you, I was such a jerk. But you still gave me a chance and here we are,” he said, gesturing helplessly. “That Jisung was so much better compared to me. If someone like me got a chance…” he trailed off as he glanced at Jeongin expectantly.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, hyung,” Jeongin reprimanded as if Felix hadn’t ignored him for days and blatantly lied about doing laundry just to avoid him at the beginning. “He’s not much better than you. You’re much better than him.”

Felix snorted before he poked Jeongin’s cheek fondly. “I think you’re being a little biased there, Innie.”

“It’s the truth,” Jeongin crossed his hands in an attempt to stand his ground, but he just looked adorable to Felix.

Instead of saying anything, Felix just stared back at him, hopefully, expectantly, maybe a little pleadingly.

Jeongin let out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine, I’ll give them a chance to be my friends,” he conceded. “For you. I suppose rejecting them through a letter is a little rude,” he grumbled as he stared at the parchment longingly, wishing that he could’ve just gone with it.

“That’s great, Innie,” Felix beamed. “The world is brighter with more friends in it, right?”

Jeongin just made a noncommittal noise as he shoved Felix so lightly it felt like a pat, making him laugh fondly.

Felix prayed that Jeongin’s soulmates would be great people. The younger deserved that and so, so much more.

 

---

 

“Lix!” Wooyoung half-shouted, startling Felix out of his mind. He was just going to start reading the book Jeongin got for him, he was barely on page five, so he was kinda tempted to ignore the older. “The Chief is back!”

That was certainly not something he could ignore.

“What?” Felix asked. He quickly stood up, setting the book aside. “Finally?”

Wooyoung nodded vigorously. “He arrived a little over an hour ago. He’s in a meeting with the Committee now.”

“The Committee?”

“The Committee of Duskwood,” Wooyoung explained dismissively. “You know, those nobles that oversee the village. They report directly to the Lord of the village, which is the Head of the Ahn Family for us. But since the Lord of each village is the head of the Twelve Noble Families, it means that they’re never around, so the Chief would report to the Committee, and the Committee will then report to the Lord in the capital.”

“Right,” Felix said, nodding along, pretending that he understood all of that even though he stopped listening halfway through.

“Anyways, this is the longest the Chief’s been gone,” Wooyoung said, his brow furrowed in thought. “I told you that he would usually be back in a few days, right? It has been weeks. This can’t be good.”

Felix didn’t like the sound of that.

“Don’t say that, hyung,” he protested. “You’ll jinx it or something.”

Wooyoung hummed, pausing to reflect on his words. “You’re right,” he said after a few seconds. “Maybe the Chief had too much fun with the other Chiefs and decided to stay a bit longer to enjoy his time there, or something.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, mustering a hopeful smile. “I’m sure everything’s alright.”

 

---

 

Felix should’ve just shut up, because he was almost sure that he jinxed it. Or maybe, they both jinxed it.

Apparently, there has been a surge of wild animal attacks in the other villages. The animals usually steered away from the villages as if they could sense that humans could be ruthless when disturbed, so this was unprecedented. Besides, one of the reasons why there were Sorcerers and Mages stationed in each village was because they were skilled in crafting protective charms to ward off the animals and beasts.

Not even three days after his return, the Chief had gathered as many people as he could when he broke the news—a plan to build towering walls around the villages in a desperate attempt to keep the dangerous creatures at bay. He emphasized that everyone was obligated to contribute to the construction, and they would be paid a fair wage for each day of labor.

Fortunately, the King had granted his approval, and the walls would receive financial support from the Kingdom. It’s not only Duskwood, the other villages were doing the same thing.

The announcement spread around the village like wildfire, and soon enough Felix could feel the mood around the village turn into something sour. Anxiety lingered in the air, and the villagers seemed constantly on edge. Now if he was still out and about when the sun sets, he had to worry about the other villagers nagging at him instead of just Wooyoung, Mr. and Mrs. Jung.

The nobles were of course not obligated in helping build the walls—Felix doubted that they’d be much help because they probably had no idea how to do physical work or something. Instead, they were required to send their servants to contribute to the construction efforts.

Despite the fact that the wild animal attacks hadn't affected Duskwood directly, fear seemed to grip every heart in the village. Felix hoped that Seung wouldn’t come anywhere near the village, not when everyone was afraid out of their minds like this.

One morning, Felix set off toward the edge of the forest with Jeongin, Wooyoung, and San when a familiar figure approached them.

“There you are,” Hayeon said with a relieved smile, her eyes softening as she greeted Felix. She nodded politely at his friends before redirecting her gaze back to him. “Come on, you’re with me.”

Felix blinked in confusion, a slight furrow forming on his forehead. “I’m supposed to help with the wall…?”

Hayeon shook her head. “I talked to the Chief. They want me to look over the protective charms, so you’ll be helping me with that,” she said with a conspiring gaze, which probably meant that she wanted him to help her check the charms with his sight.

“Oh,” Felix said brilliantly as the realization dawned on him. “Okay,” he said, turning to his friends, who were now watching them curiously and maybe a little warily, on Jeongin’s part. “I’ll see you guys later, then. If we finish early, I’ll help out with the wall.”

“Don’t worry about that, Lix,” San waved him off.

With that, the three went on their way. Felix turned to look at Hayeon, and the Sorcerer just nodded before turning away. Felix followed behind her.

Surprisingly enough, she led him to her house. Once inside, she told him to wait in the kitchen, so he did just that while talking softly to Byeol. Felix found the crow adorable, she always looked like she was listening attentively whenever Felix talked to her, tilting her head, seemingly engrossed in Felix's gentle chatter.

Hayeon returned with a purposeful stride, “Put this on,” she said. Felix turned to her and caught the necklace she was tossing. He could see traces of magic on it, looking like a mixture of blue and purple. “It’s a protection charm,” Hayeon explained. “We’re going to the forest.”

Now that really got Felix’s attention.

“We are?” he asked incredulously, intrigued by the notion.

Hayeon nodded. “The warding charms are scattered a little deep inside the forest, surrounding the village. I didn’t want the animals and beasts to get too close to the village, so I positioned them that way.”

“Right,” Felix said slowly. “And we’re allowed to do that? Go into the forest?” he inquired cautiously.

“I’m a sorcerer, Felix,” Hayeon said with a playful smile. “The forest is dangerous, but I’m not defenseless. I can handle any animals or beasts that cross our path.”

Felix frowned, not liking how that sounded; not only for them but also for the animals. “Let’s hope it won’t come to that.”

“You’re alright with this, right?” Hayeon asked to be safe. “You did sneak into the forest to get your herbs, so I assumed that you are?”

Huffing lightly, Felix replied, “Of course I am,” he said.

“Good,” Hayeon said, sounding satisfied. “We might need to go a little deeper, compared to where you went. I knew that you can get those herbs without having to go deep into the forest, but we need to venture a little deeper today, alright?”

“No problem, noona,” Felix assured her. Maybe he should tell her that he used to live so deep inside the forest it took him five whole days to get to Duskwood, but he decided against it.

“Okay,” Hayeon said as she handed him a small backpack and a basket. “I packed a few stuff, just in case. And you can gather some herbs with the basket, if you want.”

Feeling touched by her thoughtfulness, Felix's respect for Hayeon grew even more. “That would be wonderful,” he said genuinely. “Thanks.”

Hayeon nodded, already turning towards the direction of the backdoor. “Come on, let’s go.”

---

 

Jisung paced, sighing in frustration for the hundredth time today. It’s been more than a week since he found their soulmate and he heard nothing. Each day seemed to drag on endlessly as he anxiously waited for the promised letter from Jeongin.

“Stop pacing and come cuddle me, Sungie,” Changbin said from the sofa, where he was sprawled comfortably.

Jisung stopped pacing, his eyes sparkled with an idea. “Maybe I’ll go and check with Mr. Jang one more time, see if there’s any letter,” he mused, completely ignoring Changbin’s request.

“If you ask him that one more time, he’s going to hand in his resignation letter or something,” Hyunjin chimed in. “You’ve asked him at least six times today, I was counting.”

“Hey!” Jisung turned to him, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. “I saw you asking him this morning too!”

“Yeah, but that’s it,” Hyunjin retorted with a playful grin. “The next time I ask him will be tomorrow.”

“Okay, both of you, shut up,” Minho said from where he was sitting, briefly glancing up from his book, catching Jisung’s gaze sternly. “He asked for time. We’re giving him time.”

“Time is a day or two,” Jisung retorted as he resumed his pacing. “Maybe three days, if we’re being generous. It’s certainly not more than a week!”

“You’re giving me a headache,” Seungmin joined in, throwing Jisung a stink eye.

“Why are you all ganging up on me?” Jisung complained, sounding a little hurt. “This is our soulmate we’re talking about! The one we’ve been searching for, like, forever. Don’t you want to see him?”

“Of course we do, Jisung-ah,” Changbin said gently as if he was talking to a five-year-old. “But we need to be patient for them, too. You said it yourself, it must be quite a shock for him.”

“Binnie’s right, Sungie,” Chan finally spoke up after observing the room thoughtfully. “I’m sure we’ll hear from him soon. It'll feel faster if you're not obsessing over it constantly.”

“You don’t understand,” Jisung sighed, finally sinking onto the sofa. “He did look shocked, but he also—”

His words were cut short by a sudden knock on the door. Jisung jumped to his feet and dashed towards it before anyone else could react, eagerly swinging it open to reveal Mr. Jang, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

“A letter for you—” Mr. Jang started, but Jisung didn't even let him finish. He snatched the letter from the man's hand and promptly shut the door, not out of rudeness, but purely because he was too excited about the letter.

“Is it him?” Hyunjin asked, perking up. He looked like he wanted to walk up to Jisung and snatch the letter to read it himself, but he held back.

The world seemed to blur as Jisung hurriedly opened the letter and read its contents:

 

 

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf.

 

Hi,

Thank you for giving me time to think.

I’d like to meet you and your soulmates. I will be going to the capital in a few months with my Father. Let me know if that works for you.

 

Jeongin.

 

 

“Sung?”

“A few months?!” Jisung screeched.

Notes:

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 10: A New Journey

Felix took a deep breath, the woods thick around him. They had been walking for a while now, Hayeon was a few meters in front of him with Byeol, who occasionally flew ahead and then circled back to Hayeon's side, sometimes perching on her shoulder.

Once in a while, Felix would seize the opportunity to crouch and swiftly gather some herbs for his basket, and Hayeon would patiently wait for him to finish.

Finally, Hayeon came to a halt, “Here,” she said as Felix inched closer, pointing towards the base of an oak tree. “This is where I buried one of the charms. What do you see?”

Crouching down to get closer, Felix squinted, “Yeah,” he said after a few seconds, eyeing the faint hues of blue swirling above the ground. “I could see the traces of magic.”

Hayeon nodded as she fished something out of her pocket. "I made this charm last night. Does the magic look the same?" she asked, showing Felix the charm in question.

Felix stared at the charm she was holding before glancing back toward the ground. “Yeah. Looks exactly the same.”

“Okay,” Hayeon said thoughtfully. “So the charm is fine and the magic is intact.”

“What exactly does the charm do?” Felix asked curiously. “Does it create some sort of a barrier?”

Hayeon shook her head in negative. “No, not barriers. Barrier magic is not a one-man show. It requires the collective effort of at least five to ten mages and sorcerers to effectively protect a house.” she explained. “The charm is more suggestive in nature, which works perfectly against animals.”

“So it suggests the animal to what, not approach?”

“More or less,” Hayeon affirmed. “Come on, let’s make sure that the other charms I planted are fine.”

With that, the two continued on their hike; going to each of the charm spot and ensuring that the magic was intact. Hayeon tired easily, so they took breaks every time they were done with two spots or so. During these breaks, Felix would take the opportunity to gather more herbs and berries, and Byeol would occasionally caw excitedly as if urging them to keep going.

“Two more to go,” Hayeon said as she straightened herself from the tree she was leaning on. Byeol cawed in response before taking off and leading the way. “I think we‘ll be done by lunchtime,” she told Felix before they heard a distressed caw, followed by Byeol flying back towards them and circling them in a flurry. The crow didn’t stop before she flew away, as if telling them to follow her. Reacting quickly, Hayeon and Felix exchanged a brief glance before they hurried after the crow.

Felix knew what was wrong before they even came to a stop. It’s the rotting—a rotting area, just like the one he saw with Seung.

When they finally came to a stop, Hayeon was looking around, a concerned scowl on her face.

“Something’s wrong here,” she said quietly, her eyes darting around in search of the cause. “Do you see anything different, Felix?”

“Other than the ashes?” Felix scrunched his nose. “Nothing.”

Hayeon turned to him, eyes piercing. “What ashes?”

Felix blinked. And then he blinked again.

Eyes widening in realization, he eyed the floating ashes around him. “It’s magic,” he whispered. It’s magic? So Seung didn’t see what he was seeing? So nobody could see what he was seeing?

“Felix,” Hayeon said, snapping her fingers to get his attention back to her. “Talk to me. What do you see?”

Felix swallowed heavily before speaking up, “Ashes,” he said. “Or, not ashes, I guess, but it looks like ashes.”

“What color? Where? Is it moving?”

“Black,” Felix said. Weren’t ashes supposed to be grey? “It’s everywhere around us. It’s moving—floating, I guess,” he added as he looked around them.

“Where is it coming from? Where is it floating towards?” Hayeon pressed.

Felix followed where the ashes were floating from, “It’s coming from the ground,” he said helplessly. “And it’s floating upwards.”

“From the ground where?”

“Everywhere,” Felix replied. “It’s coming from everywhere in this area,” he looked up, catching the older’s eyes.

“Everywhere, okay,” she said, but it looked like things were anything but okay. “Give me a second,” she said before she closed her eyes and started murmuring something—a spell—as she held her staff straight.

Felix watched as wisps of yellow smoke came out of her staff, swirling around the area like it was alive, contrasting the blackened ashes.

She was getting increasingly pale before she finally opened her eyes. “I cannot sense any residual magic here,” she said calmly, a storm brewing in her eyes.

“But it’s—“ Felix looked around, blinking hard a few times to clear his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating or something. “It’s here; what am I seeing—noona, I swear it’s here!”

“Of course I trust you, silly,” Hayeon said in an attempt to calm him down, although she still looked puzzled. “I can‘t detect or sense anything, but clearly, Byeol does. Animals have better instincts than humans, and more often than not they can sense things we can’t, which is one of the reasons why we have them as our familiars. Add the fact that you’re clearly seeing something, and it’s practically confirmed. I don’t know what it is, but something is wrong here.”

Felix's mind raced with questions. He was relieved that Hayeon believed him, but he couldn’t help but feel like that wasn’t supposed to be his main concern at the moment. “Do you think.. do you think it’s got anything to do with how the animals are going into the villages?”

Sighing, Hayeon replied, “I don’t know. But if this is happening in the forest around other villages as well… then maybe it is.”

If this was happening all over the forest, it couldn’t be good. It made Felix think about home, was it happening there, too? What was going on?

“Have you ever seen anything like this?”

“No,” Felix replied. “I mean, I haven’t seen a lot of magic, my uncle barely ever did magic in front of me, but it looked nothing like this when he did,” he explained. “And you know that your own magic doesn’t look anything like this.”

Hayeon hummed. “Okay. So this is something new.”

Felix nodded, although he felt like labeling it new might be a stretch because of his lack of experience and exposure to magic. Maybe this kind of magic was common out there, it’s just that he had never seen it before or something. “What does the area look like to you, noona?” he asked curiously.

“It looks normal,” Hayeon muttered, hand touching her lips in thought. “But I guess the plants look a little unhealthy, like they’re starting to wilt or something.”

To him, it looked like the plants are dark greyish, so he told Hayeon just that.

“Ashes and greying plants,” Hayeon repeated, sounding slightly annoyed. Catching Felix’s wary eyes, she let out a tired sigh, “It’s just frustrating. These are things I’ve never heard of… which is to be expected, I guess, since no one can see magic like you so of course—” she let out another sigh. “Of course anything you say is unheard of. But it’s still very frustrating, especially because this doesn’t look good.”

“I’m sorry, noona,” Felix said, wishing that he could be more helpful.

“Don’t be, you have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, you’re providing me with insights I couldn’t get anywhere else,” Hayeon replied. “But I think I might have to report this to the guild.”

“The… ashes?”

“Not the ashes,” she assured him. “I’ll have to tell them about the charms, which are in perfect condition. I’ll also mention this area, whatever is going on here,” she looked around warily. “At the very least, I could tell them that Byeol’s sensing something my magic can’t detect. It’s quite weird because usually when our familiars sense something, we’d be able to detect the spell or charm or whatever with our magic. Anyways, don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about you.”

That made Felix feel a lot better than he thought he’d be. “Thanks, noona.”

Waving him off, the sorcerer turned and approached one of the trees in the area. Resting her palm on the bark, she started muttering an incantation. Felix watched as her magic enveloped the tree.

“That should do it,” Hayeon said. “I’ll be able to find this area with no problem now.”

That must’ve been some kind of marking spell.

“What’s going to happen now?”

“Honestly?” she shook her head. “I’m gonna have to sleep on it, maybe do some research… The guild might send some reinforcements from the capital to look into this, so when they come we’ll have to show them this place. Other than that… I don’t know. Maybe we can come again another day and check if there are other affected areas…” she trailed off.

Well, Felix knew for sure there was another affected area—the one Seung showed him. Maybe he could lead her there the next time they’re out investigating.

“Let’s check the last two charms and head back,” Hayeon decided. “I’ll make you lunch, and then we’ll be spending our time doing research in my study. Maybe I’ll write the guild for some advanced books I don’t own…”

 

---

 

 

Dear Jeongin,

If you’re having trouble coming here, we can come there instead, and

 

“Not like that!” Hyunjin said, snatching the parchment away. “You’re going to make him dislike us even more!”

“I didn’t make him dislike us!” Jisung bit back, offended.

“Let me do it,” Hyunjin said, grabbing a new parchment before he started writing.

 

Dear Jeongin,

Our soulmates and I would love to meet you sooner. We are able to visit at your soonest convenience, so please let us know when you’d like us to come.

Jisung

 

 

Jisung scrunched his nose as he read what the other wrote, grumbling unintelligibly because he didn’t want to admit that maybe what Hyunjin wrote was slightly better compared to what he wrote.

“You’re both hopeless,” came a third voice. Minho was leaning from behind them as he read what they had written, eyes darting between them as if he was looking at two chimpanzees fighting over a banana. “Here, I’ll do the writing.”

 

---

 

“Hyung!” Jeongin came bounding to him, waving the envelope in his hand. “I’ve got a reply! Let’s read it together.”

“Me?” Felix asked, blinking rapidly in confusion. “Are you sure?”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongin answered, “Yes, of course I’m sure. You’re the one who wants me to give them a chance. So now you have to help me deal with them,” he pouted.

Chuckling fondly at the adorable display, Felix nodded. “Alright, let’s read it.”

 

Dear Jeongin,

Thank you for writing me.

Our soulmates and I would love to meet you sooner, if that’s possible?

We should be able to come to Duskwood to see you at your soonest convenience. Please let us know if this is okay with you, or if you have other things in mind.

We hope you and your family are doing well.

Jisung

 

 

Felix watched as Jeongin’s face turned sour with every line he read.

“They’re not coming here,” Jeongin declared when he finished, sounding determined.

Humming as he watched his friend carefully, Felix spoke up, “They can’t wait a few weeks?” he asked. “They must be really excited to meet you, Innie.”

When Jeongin remained silent as he suspiciously attempted to avoid eye contact, Felix started to have a bad feeling, so he continued warily, “Jeongin-ah… You did tell them that you’ll be going to the capital in a few weeks, yes?”

A few beats of silence.

“They don’t have to know that,” Jeongin grumbled as he angrily crumpled the letter in his hand like it was the source of all his problems.

Of course they didn’t. Silently, Felix scolded himself for not overseeing the writing process until the end. He should’ve made sure that Jeongin wrote what he said he was going to write.

“…What did you tell them, then?” Felix asked, eyeing the poor letter.

“That I’ll be going to the capital in a few months,” Jeongin reluctantly admitted.

“Innie,” Felix groaned. “A few months? Really?”

“I don’t want to meet them so soon,” Jeongin whined. More like he doesn’t want to meet them ever, but he didn’t want to see Felix’s disappointed face, so he didn’t say that part out loud.

“I don’t think they want to wait for a few months, though,” Felix said gently as he gave him a sympathetic smile.

Jeongin knew that, but no one should blame him for trying. He wished his soulmates were normal nobles who’d jump into the opportunity to get out of any interaction or relationship with a commoner at any chance, but no. His soulmates had to be weird nobles, who somehow would love to meet him.

“I don’t want them to come here,” Jeongin said quietly, clenching his hands into a fist to suppress the anger bubbling in his chest. He wasn’t the type to get angry easily, but this whole soulmate thing had been pushing him beyond his limits. “That’s just… no. If they come here the whole village would know and everything will change and it’s just…”

“Hey, hey,” Felix took Jeongin’s hand into his, prying open the clenched fingers to interlock their fingers in an attempt to soothe him. Jeongin’s heart fluttered embarrassingly at the gesture. “It’ll be okay. If you don’t want them to come here, just tell them that you’ll be the one going there, yeah?”

“…Fine.”

Offering him an apologetic smile, Felix said, “Come on, let’s write your reply.”

 

---

 

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf

Hi,

Change of plans, I will be going to the capital in around five, six weeks from now.

We can meet then.

Jeongin

 

 

Jisung read the letter out loud for the others, lips curled as he looked up when he was done.

“Why do I feel like he doesn’t want to meet us,” Changbin said with a wary smile, looking around as if he was pleading them to tell him otherwise.

“He’s probably just nervous about it,” Hyunjin said dismissively. “So… we’ll see him in a few weeks?”

“We can’t give him five weeks!” Jisung protested, because that was just preposterous. “That’s too long!”

Catching Minho’s calculating eyes, Chan said grimly, “We need to have the conversation with him soon. With all that’s been going on… I think we’d better do it sooner than later.”

Jisung’s face lit up after hearing that. “I’ll write the reply!”

“No,” Seungmin finally spoke up, fighting back a sigh. He wished he could’ve given Jeongin more time—as much time as he needed, really; but Chan was right. They had to talk to him, and they had to do it soon. “I’ll do it."

 

---

 

 

Dear Jeongin,

Thank you for writing back.

There’s something we need to urgently discuss with you. We’re really sorry if it seems like we’re rushing you, but please trust that we wouldn’t be doing this if it’s not absolutely necessary.

As we’re the ones pushing for this, it is only proper for us to provide you with the necessary accommodations.

We will be sending a carriage to pick you up in two weeks’ time. We will also take care of all the other accommodations necessary for your stay.

Please let us know if there’s anything we can do to make things easier for you.

Of course, we would also be open to coming there ourselves, as we are the ones asking for this meeting.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Jisung

 

 

If Jeongin was angry when he first started reading the letter, he was seething by the end of it. He wanted nothing but to crumple the letter and throw it right on their faces, see what they’re going to think about him then.

The letter came two days ago, but he couldn’t catch Felix to read it together as the older had been busy working with the Sorcerer, so Jeongin decided that he’d read it first and let Felix know about it later.

In hindsight, it was good that this happened because if Felix was there with him he would be able to calm him down and make him feel better about it so effortlessly—and Jeongin didn’t need that, he didn’t want that.

For once, he wanted to feel properly angry and not have it dissipate into something he’d rather not name.

With a furious scowl on his face, he paced around his bedroom as he thought of how he would reply to the letter.

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf

Go to hell.

 

 

Was the first thing that came to mind, but the disappointed voice at the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Felix made him begrudgingly reconsider.

 

 

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf

I don’t care about what you need because you clearly don’t care about what I need, which is to not meet you ever. Let me know if that works for you.

 

 

This replicated what he was feeling perfectly, but it sounded a little petulant and uncool, so Jeongin decided against it as well.

 

 

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf

You can make things easier for me by pretending I don’t exist and never contacting me again.

Please leave me alone and have a good life with your soulmates.

 

 

Was the best one he could come up with. It consisted of what he really thought about the whole ordeal topped with a pinch of kind words that should get him a head pat or two from Felix. He wished them a good life on purpose and without being told to, he deserved to be praised.

For a moment, Jeongin almost sat and wrote it down.

But then his gaze fell onto the letter he received and he noted how they weren’t as open to discussion as the previous letters indicated. This letter was firm, and it barely gave Jeongin any option. Either he goes there, or they’re coming, in the typical noble fashion.

He hated this so, so much and he wished he wasn’t so helpless—he wished he could do something to get out of this, anything at all. But he knew that he couldn’t, and his best bet would be to face this head-on. He’ll meet them, tell them what he really feels, and hope that they would back down and leave him alone. Otherwise he would fight tooth and nail, and Jeongin knew how to put up a fight. He doesn’t lose in fights.

He certainly wouldn’t lose in the battle of letters. If they’re going to be pushovers, he would show them that he could be just the same.

 

---

 

 

To: Han Jisung of Goldenleaf.

Okay. Please send a normal carriage.

I would like to bring a friend with me. I trust that you wouldn’t mind offering the same courtesy to him.

He comes with me, or I’m not coming at all.

 

 

“There’s no hi,” Hyunjin said, face panicked. “And he didn’t sign it off. Oh shit, he hates us.”

“He’s feisty,” Minho said in amusement, a stark contrast to Hyunjin’s reaction. “I like him.”

Behind them, Chan buried his face in his hands. This was definitely going to be a lot trickier than he imagined.

 

---

 

Dear Jeongin,

Hi,

We would love to meet your friend. Rest assured that he would be very welcome, and all his accommodations will be handled.

The carriage will be there in two weeks’ time, at noon.

We are really excited to see you.

Safe travels,

Jisung

 

---

 

“Hyung!”

A voice called out to him as he closed Hayeon’s front door behind him. Jeongin rushed towards him, a smile plastered on his face.

“How was work?” he asked.

“Good,” Felix said, returning the smile. They started walking side by side towards the general direction of the market, which they have to pass to get home. “Why are you here?”

“I was waiting for you,” Jeongin said, seemingly a little nervous. “I have some news.”

“News?”

Jeongin nodded. “So… I received a few more letters from them. They’re going to send a carriage to pick me up,” he started as he glanced at Felix to gauge his reaction. “ And… I asked them if I could bring you with me, and they said yes. Would you come with me, hyung?”

That was not what Felix expected at all, so he paused as if he was suddenly nailed to the spot.

“I… what?”

“To the capital,” Jeongin explained, as if that was the part Felix was unclear about. “I would… I would feel a lot better if you’re there with me," he added quietly. “Plus, do you remember what I told you about the Guild of Magic? We could go there and ask about your uncle. And there are so many interesting things in the capital, hyung! There are bookstores, there’s even a public library. I’ll show you around, you’ll love it.”

“Innie, I…”

Things just took a sudden turn, and Felix didn’t like it. He felt a little annoyed at himself, because he had been trying to talk Jeongin into meeting his soulmates, but he didn’t position himself in his position—because he certainly didn’t want to meet them.

No. That was different. Felix had his reasons. Jeongin… Jeongin didn’t.

“You don’t want to come with me?” Jeongin asked quietly, sounding a little sad and heartbroken.

“No, no!” Felix said quickly. “That’s not it. I’m always here for you, Innie, you know this. I’d love to come with you. It’s just that… I mean, they want to see you. Wouldn’t I intrude?”

“I asked,” Jeongin insisted. More like demanded, but Felix didn’t need to know that. “They said you can come. They said they’d love to meet you too.”

“Really. They’d love to meet me,” Felix deadpanned.

“Yes,” Jeongin stressed, like it was something painfully obvious. “Please, hyung? Would you come with me?”

If there was anything that Felix was weak against, it’s definitely Jeongin and the word please.

He was definitely going to regret this.

“Fine,” Felix relented. “I’ll go with you.”

Jeongin’s smile was worth a thousand gold. In his delight, he all but jumped into Felix’s arms, initiating a sudden hug, which definitely didn’t help Felix’s case. “Thank you, hyung!”

Valiantly accepting his fate, Felix let out a soft sigh as he returned the hug. “Anything for you, Innie.”

 

---

 

If Jeongin’s mouth got pathetically dry at that, and if his heart started doing somersaults, no one had to know.

He was lucky Felix was too busy worrying about other things to pay attention. This could work. If he ignored the part where he meets his soulmates, it was practically like he was traveling with Felix. He would show him new places and get to stare at him all day long.

That sounded like a pretty good deal to Jeongin.

 

---

 

“So you’re really going to the capital?” Minhyuk asked for the third time.

Mildly irritated, Felix repeated his answer, “Yes.”

“For how long?”

Felix let out a brief—lowkey hysterical—laugh. “Good question. I don’t even know,” he said. “For as long as his soulmate wants us to be? I don’t think Innie would want to stay for that long, though. Not with the walls still in the works and his dad working in the fields alone.”

Minhyuk hummed in response, seemingly deep in thought.

Felix had told Minhyuk about the reason why he was going to the capital with Jeongin’s reluctant permission. He insisted that Felix could only tell Minhyuk that they were going to the capital to meet his soulmate, who was a noble, and who was pestering Jeongin for the meeting. That and how they’re fine with Jeongin bringing Felix along with him.

“They can’t keep him there, right, hyung?” Felix asked, suddenly concerned. “Not against his will, right?”

“No,” Minhyuk assured, sounding hesitant.

“I’d feel better if you can say that a little more confidently,” Felix said, not assured.

“No,” Minhyuk tried again, firmly this time. “At the very least, Jeongin would have to be willing.”

“Okay, good,” Felix let out a breath of relief.

“But,” Minhyuk said, taking that small relief away not even a second later. “There are ways to make him willing to stay.”

Felix didn’t like how that sounded. “What does that mean?”

“They can for one, offer financial support and stability,” Minhyuk said as he tapped on his chin. “Which isn’t something everyone can easily reject. Other ways would be to pressure the family. They could make things hard for them, like shutting out the family business or sabotaging it. Honestly, I can’t really say.”

“…Please tell me you’re joking, hyung.”

“I wish I could,” Minhyuk said with a grimace. “If you tell me who his soulmate is, I could probably tell you whether it’s someone he’d want to meet or if it’s better for him to run and hide in the forest before it’s too late.”

That sounded like a good idea, if not for Jeongin’s increasingly apparent dislike of Minhyuk.

“I can’t just tell you,” Felix said as he pulled on his hair in frustration. “It’s not mine to tell. Maybe… I’ll go ask Innie’s permission, and then I’ll tell you afterward.”

 

---

 

“No,” Jeongin answered sharply, not leaving room for argument.

“But Innie,” Felix argued anyway, because he's reckless like that. “Hyung’s a noble, yeah? He probably knows something about your soulmate. If you allow me to tell him his name, we’d at least be a little prepared. We’d know what to expect.”

“No,” Jeongin said, face hard. “I don’t need his help.”

“But—“

“No, hyung,” Jeongin repeated. He actually sounded angry this time, so Felix shut his mouth tight.

Great. Now what?

 

---

 

A few days later, Felix found himself at Minhyuk’s place which was a surprise because he didn’t think he’d ever go there for a second time.

This time, Minhyuk immediately dragged him into a spacious room on the third floor, where his Mother was waiting for them.

“Uh…” Felix said eloquently, unsure what was going on.

“Felix dear,” Mrs. Lee greeted him with a delighted smile. “I’m very glad to see you again. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good, Mrs. Lee, thank you,” Felix said as he returned her smile politely, feeling relieved to see that she seemed to be alright. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good as well,” she replied warmly. “I heard from Minhyuk that you will be going to the capital with your friend?”

Felix’s eyes flicked to Minhyuk for a second, wondering how much he told his mother. Minhyuk shrugged in response. “Yes,” Felix said.

“Will it be your first time there?”

Felix nodded sheepishly. "Oh, yes. I've never been to the capital.”

“Good, good,” Mrs. Lee said with a conspiring smile. “We’ll help get you prepared just for that.”

 

---

 

When Felix went back to the Inn later on that night—once again accompanied by one of Minhyuk’s guards who had finally started to return Felix’s smile and let Felix call them hyung—he went back with a set of new clothes neatly folded in a basket. A set of new clothes he clearly couldn’t afford. Complete with a pair of shoes that looked like they’d cost a whole year of his wage.

Somehow, Minhyuk and Mrs. Lee managed to talk him into receiving the clothes, which they had prepared for him. He did try to reject the notion, horrified that they were spending money for him, but Minhyuk managed to convince him fairly easily.

“I might not know who Jeongin’s soulmate is, but I know nobles,” Minhyuk told him when his mother excused herself to the bathroom. “Trust me, nothing you say will be taken seriously if you’re not properly dressed, at the very least. I don’t care about such things, of course, but since it’s going to be only the two of you… I thought that if his soulmate turned out to be one of those nobles, at least you would be able to help him stand his ground. And as shallow as this might seem, dressing well would help.”

In front of the mirror, Felix frowned at his reflection, “I don’t know, hyung,” he said hesitantly. “Don’t I look ridiculous?”

“No, but you are being ridiculous,” Minhyuk replied with a hint of exasperation. “You look gorgeous. You know this.”

“I look like a commoner trying to play noble,” Felix muttered, before mumbling as an afterthought, “Which happens to be exactly what I’m doing.”

“Nonsense,” Minhyuk responded.

Still unsure, Felix voiced his concerns, “Are you sure this is a good idea? Innie would be wearing normal clothes. Isn’t he the one meeting his soulmates? Maybe you should give this to him instead?”

“Would he accept anything from me?” Minhyuk retorted. “Besides, he’s the soulmate so they’ll probably give him a free pass. If they want him, they will surely treat him well. You’re a different case.”

The more Felix thought about it, the more he was making sense.

“Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re charming whatever you wear,” Minhyuk said, earning a somewhat flat look from Felix. “But with the right clothes, you’d probably have more luck charming some capital people, which might help.”

Felix felt torn, not wanting to accept such expensive gifts. “But I can’t just accept this…”

“You need to learn to receive, Lixie. Just think of this as a… tactical advantage.”

“You know what, hyung,” Felix sighed deeply. “The more you talk, the more terrified I am. What if Jeongin’s soulmates are horrible people, what if they lock him in their mansion and won’t let him come back with me? What do I do then?”

“Hey,” Minhyuk placed a reassuring hand on Felix's arm, staring right into his eyes. “It’s going to be fine. When that happens, I’ll come to your rescue. And Jeongin’s, I guess. As long as he’d accept it. Whenever he looks at me I have a feeling that he wants to spit on my face, or something,” he added, shuddering at the thought.

“He’s not like that,” Felix defended Jeongin. He had to believe in the goodness of Jeongin’s heart, which was definitely there. It was just buried very deeply whenever Minhyuk was involved. “You guys just need to sit with each other and have a conversation. Then all my friends will finally be friends, and we can have so much fun together.”

Minhyuk threw him a look parents make when they’re watching their kids say ridiculous things, like wanting to be an elephant when they grow up. “Ha. Keep on dreaming, Lixie. Hell would freeze over before your friends would willingly have a civil conversation with me.”

Felix hated how realistic Minhyuk sounded. “Don’t say that. Be a little optimistic, hyung.”

Minhyuk gave him a lopsided smile. “I’m good. You’ve got that part covered.”

 

---

 

Between overthinking about their trip to the capital, working with Hayeon, occasionally helping his friends and the villagers with the walls which were steadily progressing, and hanging out with Minhyuk, Felix felt like he barely had any time to breathe in the past few days.

Telling everyone about their upcoming trip to the capital didn’t go as smoothly as Felix wished. Thankfully, Jeongin was being a sweetheart as he did most of the talking, so the only person Felix had to tell himself other than Minhyuk, was Hayeon. Coincidentally, Felix thought that she was the most challenging out of everyone else because one, she couldn’t care less about Jeongin, and two, she wanted Felix’s eyes to be within walking distance at all times.

After watching his employer sulk—a sight he thought he’d never see given that he hadn’t even worked with her for a month—she finally stopped grumbling about tagging along to the capital with him. Not that she could do that, because she couldn’t just abandon her post in Duskwood, especially considering the recent events.

“You promise that you’ll respond promptly to my letters?” Hayeon asked for the fifth time.

“Yes, noona,” Felix replied for the fifth time, quickly losing his last bit of patience. “Please stop asking.”

“And you promise that you’ll come back as soon as possible?”

“As soon as physically possible,” Felix emphasized. “Unless there’s a way to teleport or something,” he added for good measure, half-jokingly, because Hayeon was being ridiculous.

“Hmm,” Hayeon contemplated. “If teleportation magic wasn’t so expensive to pull off, I would’ve offered to do that.”

Felix's eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, teleportation is possible?”

“And expensive,” Hayeon said plainly. “You need powerful magical crystals for that, and they’re very expensive. I’ve always thought it wasn’t worth it because I barely go anywhere,” she said, before glancing back at him. “But now that you’re here, maybe I should consider investing in them. That way, no matter where you are, I can always come to you for your insights,” she said before turning her attention back to her book.

“Sounds wonderful,” Felix said as he tried not to scrunch his face at the thought. He liked her but the thought of her pestering him at all times wasn’t very appealing for him. “I should get going soon, I promised to meet Minhyuk hyung.”

“See you tomorrow,” Hayeon replied nonchalantly without looking up from her book.

“See you tomorrow, noona.”

As Felix turned to leave, she called out, “Wait, I almost forgot!” she said, making Felix turn around to look at her in askance. Hayeon pulled the drawer open and rummaged through it as if she was looking for something. “Aha!” she exclaimed, pulling out a small pouch. “Since you’re going to the capital, I thought I’d give you your payment early in case you want to purchase things for your trip,” she explained, tossing the pouch to Felix.

Catching the pouch, Felix stared at it like it was a unicorn horn. There was money in his hands… Money he earned himself!

“Fates! Noona, thank you so much!” Felix thanked her vehemently. “Are you sure this is okay?”

“Of course I am, I gave it to you. Now run along. Go meet your friend or whatever, don’t keep him waiting,” she said as she turned her attention back to the thick book she was reading, waving her hand dismissively.

Felix grinned. He could finally buy everyone something!

 

---

 

“Tell me what I can do to help,” Minhyuk said softly, tone serious and so unlike himself that Felix had to do a double take. “Don’t look at me like that. I know when not to joke.”

Felix opened his mouth to answer, but Minhyuk interrupted him. “And don’t say it’s nothing, or make up some dumb excuse about Jeongin’s soulmate. This is something else,” he said, gently bumping his shoulder against Felix’s.

Taking a deep breath, Felix pulled his knees closer, trying to make himself feel smaller. “I don’t know, hyung. I guess I’m just… worried I’m intruding. Jeongin said that his soulmate would love to meet me. But he’s definitely just saying it for him, or maybe Innie was just saying it so that I’d come with him. I’m leaning toward the first more than the second because I don’t think he’d lie to me like that. What if they kick me out immediately after we arrived? I mean, I’d love to go back to Duskwood, of course, but then I’d be worried sick for Innie.”

“From what I’ve seen, which is not much at all since you’re keeping a lot of details from me as clearly requested by Jeongin,” Minhyuk started, sounding a little petty, “it looks like they’re trying to win him over, which means that they won’t do something as ridiculous as kicking you out. I doubt that’d go over well with Jeongin.”

Felix supposed that made sense, but he was still worried. “I guess… but that’s not all, hyung. Innie said that they’re taking care of the accommodations, and I don’t know if that means they’re paying for the inn or if we’re staying at their place,” he explained, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “Oh fates, what if they make Innie stay with them while I stay at the inn? I mean, I don’t mind staying at the inn since it would be a lot less nerve-racking for me, but then I wouldn’t be with Innie and I wouldn’t know if they decided to lock him up or kidnap him or—“

“Alright, you need to calm down,” Minhyuk interjected. “If anything like that happens, you write to me and I’ll be there as soon as possible. Actually, if I don’t hear from you in three days, I’ll take that as a sign that something’s wrong and come anyway. How does that sound?”

“That’s… reassuring,” Felix said slowly, feeling grateful albeit a little bad since he was being a burden to Minhyuk again. He couldn’t deny that having Minhyuk by his side would definitely raise the probability of them going back home in one piece without getting kidnapped or imprisoned, so he did his best to ignore the feeling.

“I would have gone with you, but I doubt Jeongin would like it very much,” Minhyuk said with a slight pout. “Besides, there’s going to be some Committee meetings, and my father had instructed me to attend it in his place, so I can’t. I can go after I deal with them, though.”

“Would you, really, hyung?” Felix asked hopefully. “I feel like I’m troubling you all over again. You’ve done so much to help me.”

“Uh huh,” Minhyuk said. “Like helping you lie a lot and smuggling you into our library,” he teased.

“Don’t forget the clothes,” Felix added with a huff.

“The clothes are gifts, love. They don’t count.”

“Hyung, I’m being serious.”

“Alright, alright,” Minhyuk raised his hands in mock surrender. “But I mean it, the clothes are gifts. And to answer your question, yes, I would. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re like the only friend I have. Which is a little pathetic if you think about how many years I’ve been alive—but then again, I’d rather have one friend like you than a hundred worthless, backstabbing friends.”

“There’s no such thing as a worthless friend,” Felix complained. “Besides, my friends are your friends. In the future. You guys just need to work through it.”

Minhyuk laughed out loud at that, “Very kind of you to share your friends with me, Lixie.”

“You’ll see,” Felix retorted. “When you guys are finally friends, I’ll even hold myself back from saying I told you so.”

“I’ll patiently wait for that day,” Minhyuk said with an indulging smile. “Back to the matter at hand, you need to stop overthinking, okay? I’ll come as soon as I could, I’ll help you through this. Or well, we’ll help Jeongin get through this. In secret. Because he’d probably take being imprisoned in a noble’s mansion over my help any day.”

“Stop making remarks like that,” Felix grunted. “But… are you sure you won’t get in trouble for going to the capital with me?”

“Are you kidding?” Minhyuk asked. “My father would be thrilled if he was capable of feeling anything other than rage and contempt. He had always wanted me to stay in the capital to ‘socialize and nurture relationships’ with other noble families, maybe even kiss some of the Twelve Noble Families’ asses,” he explained with a note of distaste in his voice. “We have a place there, and we barely use it.”

“I’m sorry your father is… like that,” Felix offered, suddenly feeling saddened by Minhyuk’s words.

“An asshole,” Minhyuk corrected. “You can say that. ‘I’m sorry your father is an asshole’. Come on, say it with me.”

“Hyung,” Felix protested.

Minhyuk shook his head, staring at Felix as if he was disappointed in him. “You’ll say it with me one day.”

“How about your mother?” Felix asked, eager to change the topic.

Minhyuk’s expression surprisingly turned into something more serious—if not a little sad—at that. “Mother would be fine,” he said confidently. “Actually, she was the one who suggested I come with you.”

Eyes widening in surprise, Felix asked, “She did?”

Minhyuk nodded. “Mother is… she used to be a commoner,” he added quietly.

Oh. Oh.

“She married my father just because they’re soulmates. She was from Crestview,” Minhyuk sighed. “I know you asked me not to tell anyone about Jeongin and his soulmate, but I told her what I know because… because she knows what it’s like. She stumbled into my father when she was traveling to the capital, too. The rest is history—very sad, very stupid history. To summarize, they made her leave her family. She hasn’t seen them in decades, she hasn’t seen them years before I was born.”

The weight of the conversation hung in the air, “I’m so sorry, hyung,” Felix whispered.

Minhyuk's lips quirked into a melancholic smile as he replied, “Me too. So… yeah. When I told her, she insisted that I should help you—that we should help you. Not that I wasn’t thinking about doing so prior to that, but you get my point. The clothes were her idea, so was me talking your ears off about ways to deal with nobles.”

Felix found himself at a loss for words. Minhyuk had been talking nonstop about nobles ever since Felix told him about going to the capital, even going as far as to make Felix practice with him—how to smile gracefully like a noble even when all you wanted to do was tear your conversation partner apart and set them on fire, how to not say something eloquent like um or uh in conversations, how to keep opinions to himself and remain quiet when not being addressed, how to pretend agree even though you’ve just heard the stupidest statement in the world… the list goes on. Felix was so close to snapping, almost asking whether Minhyuk was trying to help him deal with the nobles, or teaching him tricks to make the nobles like him.

“Oh hyung, I didn’t know…”

“How would you know?” Minhyuk asked as their eyes locked. “We care about you. And you clearly care about Jeongin, so we care about him as an extension,” he said, sounding a little less genuine at that last sentence, which earned him a half-assed glare from Felix. “So don’t you worry. Mother and I will do everything we can to help you—to help him. We don’t want him to end up like… like my mother.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Felix said genuinely, feeling touched by the older’s kindness. He didn’t have to care about Jeongin just because Felix did, and he certainly didn’t have to promise something this kind, especially considering how hostile Jeongin and the villagers were to him. “Fates, where would I be without you? I don’t have much, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. You can ask me anything and I’ll do it.”

“Careful,” Minhyuk drawled with a playful smirk. “You can’t just promise something like that. What if I ask for something ridiculous?”

Shrugging, Felix replied. “I mean it. I’ll do or give anything for you,” he said, unfazed. “I care about you too, hyung.”

“Hmm,” Minhyuk said. “One final lesson for you, my dear Lixie. Don’t promise things easily,” he gave him a wry smile. “Especially to nobles.”

 

---

 

If anyone asked Felix, he would say that he was proud of what he had pulled off. He managed to purchase gifts for everyone before the day of their departure: Mr. and Mrs. Jung, Wooyoung, San, Jeongin, Minhyuk, Mrs. Lee, Hayeon, Uncle Minki, and some of the other merchants he talked to a lot. He even had a little something for San and Jeongin's parents.

He had successfully given everyone their gifts—well, everyone other than the Jungs and Jeongin. The Jungs because Felix didn’t want to argue with them since they seem to have an aversion to the words paying back. Felix ingeniously devised a plan to hand their gifts to San with the specific instruction to give those only when Felix was safely on his way to the capital.

The rest of them had accepted his gifts happily, which made him twice as happy.

Jeongin’s gift was in one of his pockets. He admittedly felt a little nervous about it, but he’d worry about it later.

Despite feeling extremely foolish and ridiculous, Felix forced himself to put on the set of clothes Minhyuk and his mother gave him. He had to give himself a very long pep talk before he managed to get out of his bedroom that morning. Wooyoung had given him a once over the moment he saw him, looking like he wanted to say something but decided against it when he saw Felix’s pleading expression.

Coincidentally, everyone else had the same reaction. Except maybe Jeongin, who took one look at him before promptly turning away. Was he mad at Felix? Probably. Felix was planning to offer to switch clothes when he finally got the chance to talk to him later. He wasn’t too sure when that would be, because they were both engaged in conversations and hugs with other people, since they were the ones leaving.

“Write us as soon as you arrived, yeah?” Wooyoung said as he pulled away from their hug. “And come back soon. Mom’s hair would turn all white if you take too long.”

“Wooyoung!” Mrs. Jung reprimanded her son with a stern glare.

Felix laughed good-naturedly at that. “I will, hyung,” he said, as San pulled him into another hug.

“He’s just using Mrs. Jung as an excuse. It’s his hair that will turn white if you guys take too long,” San said, loud enough for Wooyoung to hear. Felix giggled and San grinned brightly as Wooyoung threw him a stink-eye. “Keep an eye on Innie, yeah?” San whispered, only loud enough for Felix this time.

“I will, hyung,” Felix whispered back.

They pulled away, content yet tense smiles on their faces. Actually, everyone was a little tense despite the smiles plastered on their faces. Felix couldn’t fault them.

Jeongin was now hugging his parents, so Felix turned to say goodbye to San’s parents.

He just finished when a black blur streaked toward him, cawing and circling his head in greeting.

“Byeol!” Felix said cheerfully. “Hi!”

The crow landed on his right shoulder, which seemed to be the shoulder she favored. She playfully nipped at his ear as she always did, and Felix patted her feathers gently before looking around to find Hayeon, because she shouldn’t be that far behind.

He was right. A few seconds later, Hayeon came panting.

“Hi, noona,” Felix grinned in amusement as she held one finger, gesturing for him to wait as she caught her breath.

“Good, I made it,” Hayeon said when she could finally speak without sounding like she had breathing issues. She shoved a huge basket into Felix’s arms. “Parting gift. And maybe bribe to make sure you reply to my letters promptly.”

Accepting the basket, Felix could hear the clinking of vials inside. He didn’t need to open it to know what was inside. “Noona,” he said, touched at the gesture. He still had a lot of his potions, which should last him a month or two, not that he thought they’d stay in the capital for that long. “You don’t—I can’t—”

“Save it,” she brushed him off. “Just to be sure that we’re on the same page, when I say promptly, I mean in a day or two at most, alright?”

Felix couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed at her; she had helped him immensely and he wouldn’t be standing here today if it wasn’t for her, quite literally.

“Okay, noona,” Felix assured her. “I’ll respond to your letters as promptly as possible.”

“Good,” Hayeon said firmly, looking more like the sorcerer everyone knows for a second rather than the slightly insane, very much obsessed with magic, sorcerer Felix knows. “And you’ve got your charm with you?”

Felix reached into his collar, pulling out the charm safely dangling as a necklace. Hayeon nodded in satisfaction before stepping back. Byeol cawed one last time at Felix before she flew to perch on Hayeon’s shoulder.

Just when Felix thought they were gone with goodbyes, a familiar figure appeared from behind Hayeon, clutching a suspiciously huge backpack.

Eyeing the backpack warily and entirely ignoring the subtle shift in everyone's expressions, Felix spoke up, “Hyung.”

“Hi, Lixie,” Minhyuk smiled brightly, unbothered by the glares and suspicious glances everyone else was throwing at him. “I came to wish you safe travels.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Felix said sincerely, although he was still warily eyeing the gigantic backpack.

“This is for you,” Minhyuk finally said.

Felix gaped at him, scandalized. “No, no, no,” he said quickly. “I can’t—what the heck is in there and why is it so big, you know what, it doesn’t matter, because I’m not accepting that. Don’t be ridiculous, hyung. Thank you so much, but no.”

This was just absurd. Jeongin was the one meeting his soulmate, Felix was just there for company, and yet here he was. Jeongin was completely normal with his backpack while Felix was there with his own and the big basket Hayeon just handed him, and the gigantic backpack Minhyuk was holding out for him.

Minhyuk just smiled smugly at him before he leaned forward and whispered to Felix’s ears, “Tactical advantages,” he said, and that was enough for Felix to guess what was in the bag. It was more clothes.

“No!” Felix barked, horrified at the thought of more clothes. “You already gave me this!” he added, gesturing helplessly at the clothes he was wearing.

“It’s not from me, it’s from Mother,” Minhyuk’s smile didn’t waver as he met Felix’s eyes dead on. Felix wished he could make a compelling case and argue back, but all he could think about was the words tactical advantages.

Felix saw Minhyuk’s lip quirked up slightly before the older turned to the footman and handed the outrageous bag to him, and Felix watched in disbelief as the footman accepted it and loaded it into their carriage.

Felix scowled at Minhyuk, racking his brain for something annoying to say, when his friend pulled him into a warm hug.

“Remember what I said, alright?” Minhyuk whispered in a low voice, only loud enough for Felix to hear.

That was extremely vague, but Felix knew he meant everything about nobles and his promise to be there for him. “Okay, hyung,” Felix whispered back, returning the hug with one arm because his other one was holding the basket. “Thank you. But I’m still pissed at you.”

“Don’t I know that,” Minhyuk responded cheekily as he pulled away. “Safe travels, love.”

“Take care, hyung.”

 

---

 

To say that Jeongin was angry would be an understatement.

His day started pretty alright, he managed not to worry about his soulmates too much—which was surprisingly easy to do when he reminded himself about how he would be spending a lot of time with Felix.

But then, Felix had to come looking like he was a prince out of those storybooks, and Jeongin had to hide his face in case he was making an embarrassingly stupid face, if Wooyoung’s smirk was any indication.

Of course, the embarrassment was soon replaced by annoyance when he finally realized that Felix was wearing fancy clothes like nobles do. He knew Felix was no noble, so there was only one possibility: he got it from the worst noble in the kingdom, the bane of Jeongin’s existence—Lee Minhyuk.

If that wasn’t enough, the noble dared to show up with a gigantic bag for Felix. He even ignored Felix's rejection, pulling him into a damn hug and whispering things Jeongin couldn’t hear no matter how hard he strained his ears.

So yes, Jeongin was not happy.

“Jeongin-ah,” Felix said tentatively from beside him. They had been sitting in silence for a while, and Jeongin could see that they were already out of Duskwood through the windows. “Everything alright? Are you upset with me?” he asked, sounding concerned.

“Everything’s fine, hyung,” Jeongin replied, mouth downturned.

“…It’s the clothes, isn’t it?” Felix probed. “I’m sorry, Innie. I was… Hyung said that I would help you if I dressed well, since nobles care about these things and they wouldn’t even listen if I wasn’t at least dressed properly. When—if your soulmates turned out to be bad, I’d be more help to you with proper clothes, because it increases the probability of them listening to what I have to say instead of immediately dismissing it and—”

Jeongin finally turned to Felix, feeling a little bad for being angry. Of course Felix was doing it for him, why else would he wear the stupid clothes?

“It’s not the clothes, hyung,” Jeongin interrupted Felix’s increasingly frantic explanation. Felix seemed relieved, but he was raising his eyebrows and giving him an incredulous look as if saying really, now? so Jeongin continued, “Okay, fine. It’s kinda the clothes,” he admitted.

“…I look ridiculous, don’t I.”

“No!” Jeongin disagreed embarrassingly quickly. “You look… I meant to say—you look… pretty,” he finished brilliantly, turning away to hide his face, which was definitely as red as tomatoes. Even his ears felt like they were burning.

Luckily—or unluckily—for both of them, that meant that he missed how Felix looked exactly the same.

Clearing his throat, Felix spoke up, “Hyung gave me some more,” he said. “If you want, you can also wear these?”

Jeongin’s mood plummeted down at that. “No,” he replied briskly.

“We’d match,” Felix added, still trying to sell him the idea.

…Very tempting, damn it. But Jeongin wasn’t that weak. He would not cave.

“No,” he repeated, but it lacked the bite he had in mind.

“Okay…” Felix said, sounding disappointed and making it significantly harder for Jeongin not to say something stupid like okay fine I’ll wear the stupid clothes so that we can match. “By the way, I have something for you.”

Jeongin’s face snapped back towards Felix so quickly he was surprised he didn’t hurt himself. “What?”

“Well, you’ve been an amazing friend to me,” Felix started, looking down as he fiddled with his fingers. “And you’re important to me. I want to give something back, since, uh, I have a job now,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a… necklace?

Felix shifted and took Jeongin’s hand, spreading it open before he dropped the item on Jeongin’s palm.

It was a pendant.

Blinking a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating or anything, Jeongin brought his hand closer and flipped the pendant. His eyes widened as he saw what was engraved on it.

A firefly.

“You know the merchant who comes from Alvercrest? I was looking for presents for everyone when I stumbled onto him. He had some pretty interesting things, but I saw this one and I thought… Well, I’m not entirely sure, but I thought you’d like it,” Felix jumped into an explanation. “And hey, you bought me that book, remember? I know that you like singing and fishing and this has nothing to do with either of those, but I thought you might like it anyways. That’s a firefly, by the way, it’s—“

“I love it, hyung,” Jeongin said softly but strongly, like it meant the whole world to him. “Thank you.”

“Really?” Felix asked, sounding like he was having a hard time believing it.

Jeongin nodded, thoughts drifting back to a particular night when he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Felix, fingers intertwined and feeling like he had finally found himself in the world—right there in the dark, gentle specks of lights surrounding them, with the person who meant the world beside him.

“Yeah,” Jeongin exhaled softly. “This is the best gift I’ve ever received. Thank you, hyung.”

That seemed to finally convince Felix that he did, in fact, love it.

He smiled that blinding smile of his, and replied. “You’re welcome, Innie.”

If Jeongin wasn’t so sure before, he was sure now. Things were going to be fine.

 

---

 

Things were going to be anything but fine.

Why? Because after the long journey, after enjoying how excited Felix was as he looked out the window, pointing at the buildings and the stalls and the people and the beautiful gardens, their carriage was finally slowing down.

“Innie,” Felix whispered, sounding like he was going to pass out in a second. “Is that… is that the palace?” Felix asked, sounding increasingly frantic. Their carriage stopped in front of towering gates, a dozen guards standing by. They could hear the coachman exchanging words with one of the guards before some of them moved to open the gate. Slowly, the carriage started moving into the area behind the gate, which was in the complete opposite direction of where Jeongin wanted it to move. “Why are we… why are we going into the palace?”

Jeongin would very much like to ask the same question.

Did Jisung arrange a tour of the palace? Jeongin would never know, he didn’t even know if that was possible.

But why else would they be here?

The answer was right there, staring back at him in the eyes, but Jeongin refused to acknowledge it because there was no way—there was no way. He was dreaming. He was having a nightmare. He must’ve fallen asleep sometime in their journey, they were still in the carriage on their way to the capital.

“Hyung,” Jeongin finally spoke up. “Please pinch me.”

For a few seconds, Felix just stared at him as if he had lost his mind, but then the older seemed to finally understand what he meant, so he reached out to pinch his forearm.

It was so gentle it could barely be categorized as a poke.

Jeongin laughed a little hysterically at that, wishing that he could hysterically laugh himself out of the nightmare. He ignored the deeply concerned looks Felix was throwing him.

The carriage kept moving steadily towards the stupidly gigantic palace, and Jeongin couldn’t help but think that his life must be an identically stupid, gigantic joke because even though he might not be a scholar, he knew exactly what kind of nobles lived in the palace.

He changed his mind; he’d take any noble over the ones he was going to see in a few minutes.

Everything was going to be very not fine.

Notes:

it's been a month since i started this story and its the 10th chapter, so i thought i'd do a longer chapter this time!

thanks for the hits, kudos, comments, and subscriptions!! i didn't think there'd be this many people reading. i hope you liked the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 11: The Delightful First Meeting

Felix would like to state that he had a plan before coming here. It wasn’t a well-thought-out plan, but it was something he thought he could’ve pulled off somehow. It was simple: go with Jeongin to the capital and do his best to not meet the soulmates unless absolutely necessary—like if they started locking Jeongin up or if they were being jerks who needed to be treated to some very stern words.

He knew it was a little unrealistic, but he expected to not be there for the first meeting, at the very least. However, it became increasingly clear that it wasn’t happening. The carriage had not even come to a stop yet, and Jeongin was already gripping his hand like it was his lifeline, like he wasn’t planning to let go.

The final nail in the coffin was when Jeongin turned to him with big eyes and said, “I’m scared.”

Well, maybe his slightly trembling hand in Felix’s helped with that final nail as well, but Felix thought that it was best not to bring that up.

“It will be fine, Innie,” Felix said, even though he could’ve bet that he was at least twice as scared as his friend. “Whatever happens, I’m here with you. We’ll face it together. I won’t leave you alone,” he said without thinking, because obviously Jeongin was more important than his fears.

“Promise me, hyung,” Jeongin said, voice shaky.

“I promise,” Felix agreed easily, hoping that his hand wasn’t shaking. At this point, he couldn’t tell whose hand was shaking, his or Jeongin’s.

The carriage slowly came to a stop, and they both swallowed heavily, listening to the shuffling from outside.

“So… what’s the plan?” Felix whispered hastily, close to Jeongin’s ear.

Jeongin seemed to give it a thought before replying, “Get in there, tell them I’m not interested, get out,” he said, sounding like suddenly, he wasn’t scared at all.

“Straightforward,” Felix commented encouragingly, although he would’ve been more comfortable if Jeongin had a more detailed plan. “I like it,” he added for good measure. “And if they’re not, uh, on board with that?”

Jeongin turned to him sharply like those were the exact words of motivation he needed to face his soulmates. “Then I’ll fight them until they are.”

Felix laughed a grim little laugh. Maybe he should’ve asked Jeongin’s plan a little earlier than this, because clearly, his friend wasn’t any better than him at making plans. If he thought of this earlier, he could’ve asked for Minhyuk’s help, and his noble friend could’ve spent less time blabbing about how to act in front of nobles and give him some pointers about what to say when Jeongin tries to reject them so that they can go home in one piece.

“Good plan,” Felix squeaked with very little confidence.

The coach door swung open, revealing the friendly face of their footman. Behind him, Felix could see the intimidatingly huge palace, with guards stationed every few meters, one of whom was standing behind their footman, bowing his head slightly in greeting.

“I hope you had an enjoyable journey, Sirs,” the footman said politely.

Jeongin said nothing in response, so Felix gave him a nervous smile and said, “It was spectacular,” he said brilliantly. “Thank you.”

“This is Mr. Choi,” the footman said, gesturing to the man behind him. “He will be taking you to the private dining room in the East Wing, where the Sirs are waiting.”

“Welcome to Silvercrest Palace,” Mr. Choi said with a polite smile. “Please, follow me.”

Felix scrambled to put on his backpack and grab his basket at that, but Mr. Choi quickly stopped him. “Please do not worry about your belongings, we would be happy to handle them for you.”

Felix would’ve protested if not for the fact that Jeongin made no move to let go of his hand. He wasn’t sure he could manage his two backpacks and the basket with only one free hand.

“Thank you,” Felix said.

With that, he climbed out of the carriage a little wobbly, since Jeongin was still holding his hand hostage. Jeongin followed his lead.

“Right this way,” Mr. Choi gestured with his hand before turning and leading the way. The guards they passed all bowed their heads, and two of them opened the big, intimidating front door for them.

Mr. Choi led them to the East Wing without any word. If Felix wasn’t so busy trying to memorize their path, he would’ve tried to start a conversation. But alas, if there was anything he learned from his visits to the Lee estate, it was that it was so easy to get lost in the nobles’ mansions if he wasn’t paying attention.

Felix stole a few glances at Jeongin, worried when he saw how hard and tense his expression was. He had never seen Jeongin like that, not even when Jeongin was glaring at Minhyuk in distaste. So he gave his hand a gentle squeeze, feeling a little relieved when Jeongin finally caught his eye and flashed a small smile his way.

The further they went into the palace, the more paintings they saw. Beautiful, expensive paintings. Felix briefly wondered how much one would cost.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at their destination. Felix knew which door was the door to the ‘private dining room in the East Wing’ even from afar because it had four guards stationed in front of it, unlike the other closed doors they’d passed.

Before he could think of anything that would prepare him for what was to come, the guards pushed the door open and Felix found himself in a spacious, expensively decorated dining room with the longest table he had ever seen in his life and, he wasn’t joking when he said this, six pairs of eyes on him and Jeongin.

Jeongin was now gripping his hand so hard Felix was sure he was going to leave marks when he finally let go.

Mr. Choi said something to the people and one of them said something back; Felix wasn’t entirely sure about it because he was pretty sure he was showing symptoms of a heart attack or something.

He barely looked at their faces, instead opting to stare at the ridiculously long table in an attempt to feel less nervous. It didn’t help much.

The door closed behind them, and all six men stood up—fates, why were there so many of them? Which ones are Jeongin’s soulmates and which ones are the soulmates’ friends?

“Jeongin,” one of them started, buzzing nervously and perfectly showcasing how Felix was feeling inside. “It’s so good to see you again. Thank you for coming.”

To Felix’s horror, Jeongin said nothing in reply, barely giving the person a brief, sharp nod in response.

“And this must be your friend…” the person continued as he caught Felix’s eyes.

“Felix,” Jeongin supplied before Felix could, so Felix gave the person an equally nervous smile. “Lee Felix.”

“Felix,” the person repeated. “I’m Jisung. It’s an honor to make your acquaintance.”

“The honor is mine,” Felix responded, relieved that he managed to say that with a steady voice and without any ums or uhs.

Jisung gave him a relieved smile before turning toward the others in the room. “And these are,” he paused as if he was thinking through his next words, “my soulmates,” he said before gesturing toward and introducing each of them. “Changbin, Seungmin, Minho, Chan, and Hyunjin,” each of them nodded and smiled when they were mentioned, although the last one eyed Felix and Jeongin’s joined hands for a second.

It was nothing short of a miracle that Felix didn’t pass out right then and there because when he tried to wiggle out of Jeongin’s hand, the younger tightened his grip instead, and Felix also had to wrap his head around the fact that they were all their—they were all Jeongin’s soulmates. All six of them. Was it even possible to have that many soulmates?

Even worse, everything Minhyuk had taught him went out of the window. He only had one last brain cell functioning at this point, and the only thought it was capable of thinking was just oh fates, please get me out of here.

“Please have a seat,” the one with the curly—Chan—said with a friendly smile.

Hesitantly returning the smile, Felix did as instructed, tugging Jeongin along. There were fewer people on the left side of the table, so Felix decided to go that way. He was thinking of leaving the seat beside the one called Seungmin empty in hopes that Jeongin would take it, but the rascal seemed set on sabotaging him because when Felix almost reached the chair, Jeongin hurriedly dived forward and took the chair beside the empty one.

At that point, if Felix went to sit on Jeongin’s right side—effectively leaving the chair between Seungmin and Jeongin empty—he would probably die from the awkwardness. Add the fact that his right hand was still in Jeongin’s, he had no choice but to sit there.

If he wasn’t so nervous, he’d give Seungmin an apologetic smile. Unfortunately, he was very nervous, so he settled onto the chair silently without catching anyone’s eyes.

If Felix thought Jeongin would finally let go after they were seated, he thought wrong. His hand was getting clammy now, but Jeongin didn’t seem to mind. Stealing a glance at him, Felix gave his hand another gentle squeeze. Jeongin immediately returned the favor, their eyes locked, and Felix could see the edges of his mouth pulling up for a split second before the hard expression was back on his face.

Felix decided that the best thing he could do then was to stare at the fancy cutlery in front of him.

“How was your trip here?” Chan asked, breaking the silence and making Felix look up at him. His eyes were darting back and forth between Jeongin and Felix. Since Jeongin was the soulmate, Felix remained silent. They probably didn’t want to hear anything from him anyway, even though Chan was kind enough to make it look like he was asking both of them.

“The trip is so far, the best part of my day,” Jeongin replied haughtily.

…Nevermind. Felix would’ve preferred it if Jeongin said nothing at all.

“It was great!” Felix said quickly as he added a small, awkward laugh.

Chan let out an uncomfortable laugh before he spoke up again, completely dismissing what Jeongin said, “Well, we hope that you’re not too tired after the trip. We have prepared a welcoming feast.”

Good, it seemed like Chan was willing to ignore Jeongin’s snarky remark. Felix hoped that Jeongin wouldn’t—

“If I said I was exhausted, would I be excused?” Jeongin asked innocently, looking up to catch Chan’s eyes for the first time.

Felix would very much like to go home or cease to exist, now, if possible.

“…He’s just kidding,” Felix added, sounding a little desperate. “We can certainly sit down for a meal, thank you.”

Jeongin threw him a look, so Felix threw one right back at him. Pouting slightly, Jeongin turned his eyes towards his cutlery, glaring at it as if that would make all his problems disappear.

“How’s your family doing, Jeongin?” Chan tried again. Felix liked him so far, he was persistent and he wasn’t snapping at Jeongin. Yet. Felix was too nervous to look at Jeongin’s other soulmates, so he mostly alternated between his own cutlery and Chan, whenever the man spoke up.

“Great,” Jeongin responded flatly without lifting his eyes from the fancy cutlery laid in front of him.

A few beats of silence passed.

Chan cleared his throat, swallowing. “How about you, Felix?”

That caught Felix off-guard. For a second, he wasn’t sure what to answer because coincidentally, he had no family. His uncle was family to him, but he was missing, so Felix had no idea how he was doing.

“Great?” Felix answered, but it sounded like a question. “How about you?” he hesitantly asked back.

Chan’s eyes were kind when he looked at Felix. “They’re doing great, thank you for asking,” he replied with a smile.

“Are you perhaps related to Lord Lee of the Committee of Duskwood?” another voice suddenly piped in; it was Jisung.

Felix glanced quizzically at him for a second before averting his eyes away. Lord Lee of the Committee of Duskwood must be none other than Minhyuk’s father. Why woud he be related to Minhyuk's Father? “No, I’m not,” he responded hesitantly.

It was even more… how does he say it, awkward now.

“We apologize for assuming,” Chan quickly said as he threw Jisung a look, making the other mutter a small sorry. “Would you mind us asking which family you’re related to?” He asked tentatively.

Blinking owlishly, Felix opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped himself when he finally realized what was happening. The stupid noble clothes worked too well that they thought he was actually a noble. Felix wasn't sure whether he should be happy or horrified. “My apologies, I don’t, ah, come from a noble family,” he stammered sheepishly, his face flushing a little.

Great, Minhyuk would’ve scolded him for that ah.

Felix wasn’t sure how that was physically possible when no one was saying anything in particular, but the room went quieter for a moment. Felix didn’t miss the glances exchanged between them.

“My apologies,” Chan apologized one more time.

Thankfully, the fates finally took pity on him as the sound of knocking echoed in the room, successfully halting the conversation and giving Felix the opportunity to breathe.

The door opened, and a number of servants filtered in, each carrying plates of food for their meal. Felix stopped himself from shifting uncomfortably as they worked around them, serving more food than Felix had ever seen in his life.

The long table was now filled with a colorful array of dishes. Roasted meats took center spot, with succulent cuts of tender beef, juicy roasted chicken, and perfectly seasoned lamb that made the room fragrant with their mouthwatering aroma. Accompanying the meats were an assortment of delectable side dishes - bowls of creamy mashed potatoes, buttered vegetables, and golden-brown dinner rolls that were baked to perfection.

“Please enjoy the meal,” Chan spoke up after the servants went away, closing the door behind them.

Felix wasn't sure if eating was the wise thing to do now. With how awkward and nerve-racking this meeting had been, he didn't have much confidence in his ability to keep his food down.

One by one, everyone but Felix and Jeongin started eating.

If Felix had three hands, he wouldn't mind his current predicament. Coincidentally, he only had two, and his dominant hand was not free to move. Glancing at Jeongin, who had started eating with one hand, holding the fork and clearly not caring about Felix's concerns, Felix sighed mentally. Even with both his hands, Felix doubted that he'd be able to eat eloquently, so he wasn't particularly thrilled to try it with one hand.

Once again, he tried to free his hand, but unfortunately, Jeongin wasn't letting go.

Felix stared at his food helplessly before deciding that he was definitely not going to eat with one hand and risk making a mess in front of these nobles.

"Innie," he whispered softly, albeit a little urgently, as he tried pulling away one more time. Jeongin finally turned to him, looking particularly not thrilled. "Let's eat first?" Felix suggested quietly as his eyes darted towards their joined hands before they went back to Jeongin's.

Their eyes locked for a few seconds, Jeongin looking like he had no intention to listen while Felix was just chanting please please please in his mind as he stared back.

If he was being honest, Felix also wanted his hand back because he could feel some eyes glaring at him throughout the very awkward conversation he had with Chan and Jeongin. If Felix had to guess, it was probably because Jeongin was being exceptionally snarky and they were holding each other's hands in front of Jeongin's soulmates, who he barely spared a glance.

If they were anywhere but here, Felix would’ve cheered when Jeongin finally, finally let go.

“Thanks,” Felix said, sounding very much relieved. He could see how Jeongin wasn’t happy with the situation, but he wasn’t mad, so it wasn’t anything Felix couldn’t resolve by apologizing later.

Hopefully.

For a little while, they all ate in silence. Felix hoped, prayed, and begged the fates to prolong the silence. Unfortunately, the fates didn’t care to listen.

“I hope the food is to your liking,” Chan spoke again. Felix silently wondered if Chan was one of those people who loved challenges, or if he had a thing for sharply worded sentences.

Beside him, Jeongin stabbed a particular piece of meat on his plate rather viciously.

Fighting back a grimace, Felix looked up at Chan. "It's delicious, thank you," he said when it was incredibly clear that Jeongin wasn't going to say anything. Felix hoped they won't all hate him too much for answering when Jeongin refused to.

Fortunately, Chan gave him a thankful smile. Relieved, Felix returned the smile before averting his eyes back to his plate.

The next time Jeongin invited him for a meeting with his soulmates, Felix was definitely waiting outside.

 

---

 

Hyunjin was having the best day of his week. At least, that was until Jeongin, the soulmate they'd been waiting for, came into the room with his friend.

Not only did they come hand in hand, Jeongin's friend also looked offensively beautiful. Hyunjin wasn't sure how he had never seen or heard of him. With that look, his family should've flaunted him at every event and party, but Hyunjin was sure he had never seen him.

But then it turned out that he didn't come from a noble family, which was just unbelievable. Was he trying to lie to them?

As if that wasn’t enough, he also had an offensively attractive deep voice, which was just great.

Felix's presence was an offensive distraction for Hyunjin—he was just the friend, but Hyunjin couldn't help but stare at him from time to time.

Add the fact that Jeongin clearly hated them to the mix, and Hyunjin was just having the time of his life. Jeongin didn't look at anyone but Felix—he didn't even spare a glance at Hyunjin. He looked at Chan once, but he did it as he expressed his unwillingness to be here, so that didn’t count. The rest of the time he spent glaring at his cutlery and occasionally stealing glances at Felix when the other man wasn't looking.

Hyunjin was looking, though, since he was seated right across Felix.

All in all, Hyunjin was no longer having the best day of the week. If anything, it was quickly becoming the worst, as the way Jeongin was so blatantly ignoring them, seemingly having no interest whatsoever, reminded him of his parents.

Hyunjin hated getting reminded of his parents, so when they all finished eating and the servants finished taking the plates away and giving them privacy, it wasn't surprising that he finally snapped.

"We'd like to speak to our soulmate now, if it's not too much to ask," Hyunjin spoke up, tone cold, sounding a lot harsher than he intended. He watched as Felix's gaze fell on him, watched how his throat bobbed as he swallowed heavily. "Would you mind giving us some privacy, Felix?”

For the first time that day, Jeongin finally looked at Hyunjin. Unfortunately, it was not in delight. If anything, he looked furious. "Don't talk to him like—"

"Yes!" Felix interrupted. Jeongin turned to Felix, his expression was a mixture of anger and shock. "I would love to… give you some privacy.”

“Hyung—” Jeongin protested.

"Hyunjin," Chan warned as he gave Hyunjin his signature I'm disappointed in you look. "Apologize to Felix, please."

Now it's Hyunjin's turn to look furious. He knew that he was in the wrong, but he still felt hurt. Even Minho was throwing him an exasperated look, while Seungmin was sporting the expression he always had when he was starting to get a headache.

"No, that's not necessary," Felix said quickly, already standing up. "I saw a very interesting painting on our way here, I'd love to," he paused, "take another look at it to give it some appreciation." He continued, giving them a slight bow. "Thank you for the meal, it was very delicious. Good day.”

With that, the not-noble turned away, but Jeongin grabbed his arm before he could take a step, stopping him. Jeongin was already standing, too.

Hyunjin started to feel a little—or maybe very—guilty. He definitely owed Felix an apology.

“Hyung,” Jeongin said, Jeongin pleaded, “you said you won’t—”

"I won't," Felix answered quickly, interrupting Jeongin before he could finish speaking. “I promised I won’t, Innie,” he added, tone softening as he gave Jeongin’s arm a squeeze, pulling his own arm away from Jeongin’s grip. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Hyunjin couldn’t see Jeongin’s face because he was facing Felix, but he could see him nod after a few seconds. Felix smiled sweetly at Jeongin, and Hyunjin wasn’t sure if he was angry because Jeongin seemed to only have eyes for Felix, or if he was angry because Felix wasn’t smiling at him like that. It was overall a very weird experience, because although Hyunjin could understand why he felt this way about Jeongin, he couldn't understand why he felt that way about Felix. Hyunjin liked to think that he wasn't an easy man, if beauty was enough to sway him, he would've been swayed multiple times over by countless nobles. 

He watched as Felix left the room, closing the doors behind him gently, before his eyes trailed back toward Jeongin.

For a few seconds, Hyunjin watched in bated breath as Jeongin stood motionless, still facing the door before he slowly straightened himself.

He looked extremely intimidating when he finally turned to the room, face hard with anger. “You want to talk?” he asked, tone falsely sweet. “Let’s talk. I happen to have a few things I would very much like to say to you.”

Gulping, Hyunjin cursed himself silently. He definitely just made things a lot worse for them.

 

---

 

They definitely hated him.

It was fine. It was good that they hated him.

It would’ve been perfect if Felix wasn’t so bothered by it.

On the bright side, he was finally outside. Felix felt like he could finally breathe as he closed the door behind him. Mr. Choi's polite but friendly face was such a relief to see compared to the terrifying faces of their—of Jeongin's soulmates.

"Would you like to have a tour around the estate, Sir?" Mr. Choi asked with that polite smile of his.

"Ah, yes. That would be wonderful, thank you," Felix said gratefully.

Mr. Choi nodded in response, and it was then that Felix noticed a young man standing behind him. He stepped forward, and Mr. Choi quickly introduced him to Felix.

"This is my son, Yeonjun," he said. "He will be showing you around the estate.”

"Good day, Sir," Yeonjun said, smiling politely just like his father. "Welcome to Silvercrest Palace. Please, allow me to be your guide today.”

“Yes. Good day, thank you, hi, I’m Felix,” Felix said very eloquently, feeling out of place. Yeonjun's eyes crinkled in amusement as he nodded and led the way.

When Mr. Choi was out of earshot, Felix told Yeonjun to call him Felix because being called sir made him feel strangely stupid. Yeonjun initially refused, but Felix insisted, so he agreed to do so in the end, but only when they're alone.

Yeonjun led Felix down the long corridor, explaining that they were currently on the East Wing and that the East Wing was the main living quarter for the palace. The guest rooms were located in the West Wing. In all honesty, Felix wasn't paying full attention to the explanation, instead content on staring at the beautiful paintings that decorated the corridors of the East Wing.

“As the honored guest of the Crown Prince, you are free to go anywhere other than the East Wing. However, I advise you to avoid venturing into the kitchen. It is a busy place and the cooks don’t take kindly to—”

Felix stopped in his tracks. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that one more time?”

Yeonjun stopped and turned to him when he realized Felix had stopped moving. “The palace kitchen is a very busy place, so it’s best to avoid—“

“..Not that. Before that.”

Yeonjun’s face twisted in confusion as he took a few beats to remember what he said. “As the honored guest of the Crown Prince, you are free to go anywhere but the East Wing?”

Felix felt dread and confusion clawing up his throat.

“Crown Prince?” Felix repeated, because he couldn’t have heard that right.

“Yes?”

“When you said ‘the guest of the Crown Prince’, you meant me?”

“…Yes?”

“I… Crown Prince?” Felix repeated, sounding increasingly hysterical.

“The Crown Prince, Prince Seungmin,” Yeonjun said very slowly as if he saw Felix hit his head and split it open, so he had to make sure to speak as slow as possible for Felix to understand.

Felix paled.

Prince Seungmin.

“Prince Seung—He’s a prince?” Felix asked frantically before he started to speak to himself in hysteria. “I was in the same room with the Prince. I sat at the table and ate lunch with the Prince. I sat right beside the Prince.”

How could that—how was that possible? What—

“Felix… are you okay?”

“No!” Felix answered a little loudly, scandalized. “How can I… Seungmin is a prince?”

“Our Royal Highness Prince Seungmin is a prince, yes,” Yeonjun said hesitantly before his eyes lit up as if he finally understood what was happening. “Wait, you came here not knowing that?”

“No!” Felix cried. “How should I know?!”

“…The palace is a pretty dead giveaway.”

“Jeongin said that powerful nobles lived in palaces!” Felix retorted defensively. Now that he thought about it, Jeongin might not know that much about nobles. Felix had never wished Minhyuk was there with him more than ever.

“Powerful nobles... like the Royal Family, to be exact,” Yeonjun explained, not unkindly, seemingly starting to pity Felix a little. “Wait, if you don’t know who he was, then how did you get invited? Prince Seungmin and his Soulbond Heirs don’t really invite people here.”

Oh, just great. He dug that grave all by himself.

“Funny story,” Felix started. “I have no idea,” he continued in a high-pitched voice, sounding a little breathless because he needed to lie; not just because Jeongin didn’t want anyone to know about his soulmates, but also because Felix just figured out that one of Jeongin’s soulmates was the Prince. “Jeongin’s the one who knows them. I’m just here to keep him company. I know absolutely nothing,” he explained in a rush. “Crazy, right?” He added a short, forced laugh when Yeonjun just stared at Felix like he just watched another head grow on top his head.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun agreed, even though his expression said otherwise. “Crazy.”

Felix really, really hoped that Jeongin was behaving well.

Notes:

so... do you guys think jeongin is behaving well? lol

with that being said, they've finally met, and i'm finally finished with what i consider the prologue of the story; so i'll be taking a one-week break from writing to avoid burning out

thanks for reading!!! take care, stay healthy, and see you in about a week or two :D

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 12: Non-Hostile Acquaintances

Jeongin should’ve held onto his opinions. So what if he liked Felix very stupidly much? He should’ve still said no to him. Why did he think Jeongin could befriend nobles, anyways? He’s not Felix. Felix would befriend a wall if he could, but Jeongin wasn’t like that.

Besides, even if he could befriend them, he wouldn’t, because he didn’t want to. Befriending nobles was at the top of his things I don’t want to do list.

Jeongin would never admit it out loud, but he preferred Minhyuk to these people. At least he was nice to Felix, so Jeongin had a reason to pretend to be nice. Chan was nice, but they did collectively force Jeongin to come, so that canceled it out.

He should’ve listened to Wooyoung and gone ahead with his plan to shave their heads and run. Anything was better than being here with these pompous nobles.

If Felix wasn’t Felix, Jeongin's desire to say I told you nobles are jerks very savagely would've been his priority. Unfortunately, Felix was Felix, so the desire wasn’t there. He did, however, have a few things he wanted to say to his so-called soulmates.

“Jeongin, we’re really sorr—”

“Save it,” Jeongin snapped, ignoring how Chan’s face fell. “It’s not me you need to apologize to.”

Jeongin zoomed in on Hyunjin. “Thank you, for clearly showcasing that honesty is preferred and accepted here,” he said sharply. “Since you’ve been nothing but honest, I will return the favor. Actually, that was my plan all along, but hyung kept trying to soften the blow. Now that you’ve so nicely kicked him out, there will be no more softening,” Jeongin paused as his eyes darted around the room, ensuring that he was glaring sufficiently at each of them. “If it’s not already clear, I don’t want to be here. Actually, I’m only here because hyung insisted that I should at least come see you. If it was up to me, we’d have left the second you,” he glared at Hyunjin. “said what you said, but hyung probably wouldn’t like that even after how you treated him.”

“I’m so sorry,” Hyunjin blurted out quickly before Jeongin could continue. “That was very rude of me. I promise I’ll apologize to him.”

Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Jeongin completely ignored what Hyunjin said, instead turning to look at Chan because he seemed like the most bearable one so far. “If any of you treated him that way again, I’m leaving,” he said, standing up. “And I’m not listening to anything you have to say before you apologize to hyung.”

With that, Jeongin turned around and walked towards the door, ready to get out of there.

He was almost at the door when he felt someone's hand on his arm.

“Jeongin, please wait,” Jisung said desperately.

Jeongin snapped back towards him with a glare so deadly that Jisung pulled his arm away like he had been burned.

“Good day,” Jeongin said, but it sounded more like a curse. Satisfied that nobody made another move or tried to say anything, he walked away.

 

---

 

If he was being honest, Chan didn’t think that their first meeting with Jeongin would be all sunshine and butterflies. But he also didn’t think it would’ve gone that badly.

It was obvious that Jeongin didn’t want to be there from the very second Chan saw him, but that didn’t mean anything to him because they all share the same sentiment when they first came. It was like tradition at this point, their newly discovered soulmate would attempt to not show how much they didn’t want to be here.

Admittedly, Jeongin’s attempt had been lacking compared to the rest, but it was there. At least for the first hour.

Clearing his throat, Changbin broke the silence, “That went well,” he said in an attempt to lighten up the mood after Jeongin half-slammed the door behind him.

Chan would’ve tried to do the same if he wasn’t so miffed himself. He had liked Felix, and he felt really thankful that the man had responded to him whenever Jeongin chose to stay quiet while glaring at his food so to put it mildly, Chan didn’t appreciate what Hyunjin just did. However, he was the eldest, so he kept himself from saying anything even though he wanted to. He knew if he spoke now he wasn’t going to say anything nice.

“Exceptionally well,” Minho responded with an amused smile, leaning back on his chair and looking like he actually enjoyed the whole spectacle. “We could even throw a party to celebrate that phenomenal conversation we just had.”

Hyunjin groaned as he buried his face in his hands, making Chan’s anger die down a considerable amount, because at least it looked like he regretted his actions.

Jisung didn’t seem to share the same sentiment. “I thought we agreed to leave the talking to me and Chan hyung,” he protested as he shot a glare at Hyunjin. It went unnoticed since the latter still had his face buried.

“Sure, since it was going so well when you two were handling it,” Seungmin said dryly. Chan knew it didn’t go that well, but he’d like to think it wasn’t disastrous. But Chan also knew Seungmin, and he knew that Seungmin gets all irritated whenever he was worried.

“At least we didn’t make him leave,” Jisung retorted.

“Enough,” Chan finally snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. He agreed with Jisung, but he couldn’t say that out loud. “Hyunjin—”

Finally looking up, Hyunjin spoke dramatically, not letting Chan finish his sentence, “I know! I ruined it. I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything. Now he’s mad at us.”

“Don’t worry,” Seungmin turned to Hyunjin. “He was already mad the moment he stepped into the room. He probably just tried to keep it in because of Felix,” he added, which didn’t make Hyunjin feel better at all, judging from his sour expression.

“I’ll apologize,” Hyunjin stated anxiously as he got up from his chair.

“Not yet,” Minho spoke up, looking like he was finally taking the situation seriously. “Give them time to calm down.”

“You mean give Jeongin time to calm down,” Changbin remarked. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t think Felix was mad.”

“He should be,” Chan sighed heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I would be, if I was him.”

Hyunjin let out another groan at that as he sat back down, faceplanting on the table.

“Real helpful, hyung,” Minho commented sarcastically.

“But I’m sure it will be fine,” Chan hurriedly added. “You’ll apologize, we’ll all apologize, and then we can talk to Jeongin.”

The room was quiet for a few seconds as everyone seemed to process his words. It’s probably not going to be that simple, but Chan prayed nobody would point that out.

“Maybe we could bring them something they like as an apology,” Jisung suggested, sounding hopeful.

“Like what?” Seungmin asked, fighting back an eye-roll, because they clearly had no idea what Jeongin and Felix liked.

“Uh…”

“I don’t know what they like, but I know what they don’t like,” Minho said, pausing for dramatic effect. “Us.”

Seungmin and Hyunjin both turned to him with identical scowls on their faces. Chan just shot him an exasperated look, because he really can’t deal with this right now.

“Hey, I don’t think Felix hated us,” Jisung protested, completely missing the point.

“Probably not at first. Not entirely sure what he thinks after what Hyunjin did,” Seungmin said helpfully.

“I thought we’ve established that it’s my fault already!”

“Everybody calm down,” Changbin interrupted, reliable as always. Chan was glad Changbin was there, and that he was actively trying to keep the room sane. Chan would’ve tried to do more but he didn’t really have the energy to right now, not after what just happened with Jeongin. “It’s no one’s fault. Plus, it wasn’t all bad. At least we learned something.”

“Really?” Seungmin deadpanned. “Like what?”

Changbin blinked owlishly for a few seconds like he didn’t expect anyone to actually question what he meant, because he was just saying it for the sake of saying something. “Like… the way to a man’s heart is not always food?”

Chan would like to take a moment to state that he said Changbin was reliable, not smart.

“That’s just the way to your heart, hyung!” Jisung exclaimed. The feast had been Changbin’s idea—well, welcoming people with a feast is customary but Changbin had been the one invested in it. He spent hours thinking of the perfect food to offer, but unfortunately, food was clearly not the way to Jeongin’s heart.

“Nothing’s wrong with that!” Changbin defended himself.

“I told you it wouldn’t work,” Hyunjin muttered glumly as if any of them thought that it was going to work; excluding Changbin because he always thought that good food is the start of a good relationship.

“It’s over,” Seungmin muttered hopelessly, more to himself than to anyone else. “These are the people I will lead this kingdom with. It’s over.”

“Now that’s a little too pessimistic, isn’t it, Seungmin-ah?” Minho asked sweetly, like he was trying to get on Seungmin’s nerves. Knowing him, he probably was.

Seungmin shot Minho a murderous glare.

“You have me,” Minho added, unfazed. “There’s plenty of hope.”

“You are actually my main concern,” Seungmin bit back.

Minho flashed him a crooked grin. “It’s cute when you try, even when you know your argument is based on spite and not actual facts.”

Seungmin let out a long-suffering sigh. “Please just kill me already.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely—”

Chan loved his boys, he loved his soulmates with all his heart, but sometimes they’re too much. And when they’re too much, they don’t half-ass their too-muchness.

“Please,” Chan interrupted, sounding so desperate that the whole room paused to look at him. “Please shut up.”

 

---

 

If there was anything good that came from the revelation, it’s the fact that Yeonjun became a lot more relaxed around Felix.

Felix supposed watching someone laugh hysterically and make a fool of himself really gets friendship going. He was the Honored Guest of the Crown Prince before, but now he was the Honored Guest of the Crown Prince Who Had No Idea Who the Crown Prince Was and Went Hysterical at the Revelation.

That really took the honored and respectful part out of the title. Even if Felix didn’t ask Yeonjun to stop calling him sir, Yeonjun would probably have stopped all by himself.

“And here’s your room,” Yeonjun said as he pushed the door open. In a way, Felix was glad he had gone to Minhyuk’s house multiple times before so the size of the rooms don’t freak him out anymore. “Mr. Yang’s room is right beside yours.”

“Thanks,” Felix said as he looked around, inspecting where he was going to stay for the next few days. For starters, he was relieved there were no bars on the window.

“No problem,” Yeonjun replied. “Now let me show you the rest of the West Wing.”

“Actually,” Felix said hesitantly. “I was thinking that maybe we could continue this later? I want to unpack and settle, maybe write to our friends and let them know that we got here alright.”

“Of course,” Yeonjun said, not missing a beat.

“Thanks. See you later.”

“See you later,” Yeonjun gave Felix a friendly smile before turning and closing the door behind him with a click.

Felix let out a long breath of relief.

He finally had some time alone to get a grip and pretend he wasn’t freaking out at the fact that he—they—that Jeongin had six whole soulmates. One of which was the literal prince of the kingdom.

Deciding that he had no idea how to deal with the thought, Felix looked around the room, relieved when he spotted his two bags and the basket arranged neatly on the bed.

He went for the basket and finally opened it, surprised when he found more than just potions inside.

There were parchments and envelopes bunched together and tied with paper rope, a whole wax seal kit, two quills, and a bottle of ink. There was also a pouch tucked in the corner.

Felix spotted a small piece of torn parchment, so he took it and brought it closer to his face to inspect it. There was writing on the other side.

 

These are to make sure you reply to my letters. The money will cover the mailing fee. You can use the rest for anything you need, or even better, to cover your journey back if you decide that you want to come home early. Please come home early.

 

Felix snorted fondly at that. He still had quite some money left from his recent shopping spree, so he wasn’t particularly worried about money. He just gave her a gift before he left and she was already giving him something else. Now Felix had to think of something to thank her again.

Maybe he could find something for her from the capital.

Deciding that he won’t use the money from Hayeon unless he completely ran out of his, Felix decided against looking into the pouch. He closed the basket and decided to put it under the working desk at the edge of the room.

Felix was just going to go for Minhyuk’s bag to see what horrors his friend had packed for him, when he heard hasty knocks echoing coming from the door.

Wondering who it was, Felix went and pulled the door open.

“Hyung!” was all he heard before he found himself with an armful of Jeongin. Behind him, Yeonjun was giving Felix a half surprised, half clueless smile.

Felix gave him a small wave and returned the smile and Yeonjun, thank fates, nodded in response before closing the door for them.

“Hi, Innie,” Felix said as he put his arms around Jeongin. “Done talking already?”

Jeongin’s whole body went tense at his question. “No,” Jeongin replied, voice muffled because he was doing that thing where he buries his face on Felix’s shoulder.

Judging from the past, when Jeongin does this it usually means that he was very upset, so Felix decided against asking why he was here if he wasn’t done with the conversation. Instead, he started drawing circles on Jeongin’s back in an attempt to soothe him.

After a while, Jeongin pulled away so Felix could see his face for the first time. It was then he realized that Jeongin wasn’t sad, he was angry.

“I can’t believe they spoke to you like that!” Jeongin groused. “They’re jerks!”

Felix stared at him blankly before he realized that Jeongin was upset because of what happened to Felix. He was glad because it meant that they didn’t do or say anything bad to Jeongin.

“It’s okay, Jeongin-ah,” Felix assured him earnestly. “They just wanted to talk to you.”

“They still shouldn’t have talked to you like that!” Jeongin disagreed rather passionately. “They should’ve asked you nicely—actually, no. They shouldn’t have asked you to leave at all, because whatever they want to say, they can say in front of you.”

Grimacing, Felix replied, “It’s soulmate stuff. I’m not their soulmate,” he reminded Jeongin tentatively.

That must’ve been the wrong thing to say, because instead of calming down, Jeongin looked even angrier. “Who cares!” he exclaimed. He looked like he wanted to argue some more, but he didn’t because couldn’t find the words.

Felix stared at Jeongin thoughtfully for a few seconds before he reached out and started poking his cheek.

Surprise, and then confusion flashed on Jeongin’s expression before he was pouting. “What are you doing, hyung?”

Felix gave him an amiable smile. “You’re scary when you’re angry, Innie.”

”I don’t get angry unless there’s a good reason.”

Felix poked Jeongin one last time before he replied, “I know. But please don’t be angry for my sake. It’s fine. What Hyunjin asked was completely reasonable.”

“No,” Jeongin said as he made a face. “I’m only here because you convinced me, hyung. I’m certainly not gonna be friends with someone who treats you like that.”

That was sweet of him, so Felix huffed fondly before he remembered something—something important, which drained the feeling of fondness Felix was feeling in a matter of seconds, replacing it with something akin to dread. “Innie… Have you heard?”

Jeongin blinked at the sudden change. “Heard what?”

“About who they are. Your soulmates.”

“If you meant pompous jackasses, yes, I heard that loud and clear,” Jeongin said savagely, clearly still far from letting it go.

“Innie, no,” Felix huffed. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” Jeongin said before his expression turned serious. “Fine. Judging from the stupid size of this place, they’re probably very powerful and rich,” he begrudgingly admitted, face twisting like saying anything positive out loud made him taste something unpleasant in his mouth. Not that Jeongin thought powerful and rich were positive things, but the only words he wanted to use to describe his soulmates at the moment were jerks and assholes.

“That is a great deduction,” Felix said encouragingly. “But maybe we’ve underestimated the extent of their… power.”

“…What?” Jeongin asked, seemingly a little anxious now. “Why? Who are they?”

Felix hated how he was the one breaking this news to Jeongin. Why couldn’t he find out himself or something? What did they talk about after he left if they didn’t even cover the basics, like their identity?

“One of your soulmates, Seungmin…” Felix started slowly in an attempt to ease Jeongin into the revelation. “He’s the, uh, prince.”

For a moment, Jeongin just stared at him blankly like Felix had just spoken to him in an entirely foreign language. Felix was waiting for the pin to drop, but Jeongin just continued staring at him blankly.

“Innie?” Felix asked tentatively. Jeongin looked like he wasn’t breathing, which was kinda scary to see. “Jeongin-ah,” Felix repeated as he reached out to give his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Fortunately for Felix, that was enough to snap Jeongin from whatever trance he was in.

“Hyung,” Jeongin said urgently. “What do you mean?”

That was a hard question, because Felix wasn’t sure which part Jeongin was confused with.

“Seungmin is a prince. He’s the prince,” Felix repeated. He wasn’t sure how else he could explain it.

Jeongin was gaping for a few seconds before he spoke up. “No,” he disagreed as if that would alter their reality. “No he’s not.”

Felix would’ve loved to second that to display his solidarity. If they could actually alter reality by arguing with it, Felix would’ve been an expert in arguments because he would’ve spent his whole life arguing.

“Innie…”

“There’s no way,” Jeongin continued, sounding painfully like Felix when he was having a mental breakdown in front of Yeonjun. “I can’t be soulmates with—please tell me you’re joking, hyung.”

Maybe it was good that Felix found out earlier, because it meant that he had gotten his share of mental breakdowns. Now he could be there as Jeongin has his.

“I’m sorry,” Felix muttered quietly, because what else could he say?

Jeongin’s breathing started turning a little erratic as he walked passed Felix. Felix turned and watched him warily as he paced around the room.

“This is it, then?” Jeongin asked no one in particular. “My life is over?”

“Your life isn’t over,” Felix argued defensively. He hated how that sounded.

Jeongin’s eyes were back on him now, looking like he was exhausted beyond measure. Felix was just glad that Jeongin wasn’t crying because he wasn’t entirely sure about what he could say if he does. He would do anything for Jeongin, but he doubted anything he does would measure up to the things the prince can do in retaliation. “He’s the prince,” Jeongin said like it was his death sentence.

“Yeah, so?” Felix asked back confidently. Or at least, he hoped it sounded confident, because he certainly wasn’t. “Maybe we just need to make some… modifications to your plan. I’m sure we can think of something.”

Jeongin let out a short, lowkey hysterical laugh. “Okay. Any ideas?”

Life would’ve been easier if Wooyoung and San was here. Wooyoung wasn’t that great with ideas, but he had a lot of them. San usually had better ideas, but it didn’t matter because neither of them was there.

“Maybe you should really consider befriending them?” Felix asked tentatively, making Jeongin groan in exasperation. “Wait, hear me out! If you’re friends, he would treat you well, because that’s what friends do. After you became friends, you can tell him very kindly and in a friendly manner that you’re not… interested in them,” he explained. “And then we can go home and you can finally introduce me to this person you said you wanna be with.”

Jeongin’s cheeks were flushed as he replied, “Hyung, if I hear the word friends from you one more time, I’m gonna lose it.”

“Think about it,” Felix insisted stubbornly. “If you keep doing… whatever you were doing earlier, what if they get mad? What if they resort to less-than-pleasant ways?” he continued, feeling anxiety building up in his chest as he started imagining unpleasant scenarios.

Jeongin looked like he didn’t like Felix’s idea very much, but he didn’t offer any alternatives, so Felix thought that he could at least see the merits of his idea.

“…So that’s the new plan? Play nice?”

“Nice is a strong word,” Felix commented nervously. At this point, he had little to no confidence in Jeongin’s ability to be nice to nobles. “Maybe try to be… less hostile?”

“I wasn’t being hostile,” Jeongin replied petulantly. “I was just being honest.”

Felix would like to wholeheartedly disagree, because if that wasn’t hostile, he wouldn’t want to be there to witness what it’s like when Jeongin was being hostile. His feeble little heart wouldn’t survive that.

“Okay, then tune down the honesty,” Felix suggested hopefully. “That way, you can start being—“ Jeongin gave him a stink-eye, so Felix quickly changed his mind. “non-hostile… acquaintances?”

“Fine,” Jeongin sighed in defeat. “I’ll be their non-hostile acquaintance.”

“Great!” Felix said brightly because he would take anything at this point.

Maybe there’s still hope after all. After all, Chan had seemed nice. He didn’t look like someone who locks people up, and Felix would like to think that he didn’t hate him like Jeongin’s other soulmates—Hyunjin in particular.

“Hyung,” Jeongin started, jolting Felix out of his thoughts. “If things don’t—”

The sound of polite knocks interrupted whatever Jeongin was going to say.

“Felix?” came a voice Felix did not want to hear anytime soon. Not because of anything, but because he was terrified of it. “It’s me, Hyunjin,” the voice added hesitantly.

For a second, Felix thought that he could find a place to hide in the room and pretended he wasn’t inside, but if Hyunjin found out, he would probably hate him even more.

“I’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay?” Hyunjin continued.

Is this it? Is this where he kicks Felix out?

“Hyung,” Jeongin spoke quietly, making Felix turn to him. The younger threw him a questioning look, like he wasn’t sure why Felix wasn’t opening the door and like he wasn’t worried about Felix getting kicked out of the palace.

“Felix?” Hyunjin tried again.

Felix swallowed heavily before he spoke to Jeongin, “Remember, the goal is to be…?” he prompted, wanting to make sure one more time that they were both on the same page. Felix really didn’t want to anger any of Jeongin’s soulmates further.

Jeongin threw him a withering glare, refusing to play complete-the-sentence with Felix. “Just open the door, hyung.”

“Right,” Felix said, trying to hide his distress.

Bracing himself, he reached for the door. He hoped Hyunjin wasn’t here to kick him out, because Felix would have to argue with him.

That’s not going to go well, because he tended to lose at arguments.

 

---

 

In the depth of the woods, the Sorcerer and her familiar stared at the area they visited a few weeks prior in confusion.

It looked different than they remembered. If anything, the Sorcerer would’ve thought it was an entirely different area altogether if not for the marking spell that led her here.

“Curious,” she muttered to herself. On her shoulder, her familiar tilted its head as if it shared the same sentiment.

Together, they stood in silent contemplation, the Sorcerer's flowing robes blending seamlessly with the earthy hues of the forest.

Notes:

any guesses about what the boys urgently need to talk to jeongin about? 👀

next chapter will be next week! (could be sooner if i finished early though)

see you then!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 13: Of The Wild

Seven men sat around the table in silence with guarded expressions. The air was thick with tension. The room was filled with an uneasy energy, like a fight that was just waiting to happen.

Fidgeting with his fingers, Jisung broke the silence hesitantly, “Would you like a cup of tea?” he asked, voice wavering slightly as he casted a glance at Jeongin.

Jeongin took a few measured breaths before answering because he needed to hold himself from saying anything not-nice, which was a lot harder than he thought, “No.”

Even though Hyunjin had apologized to Felix, he didn’t feel any better about him or any of his other soulmates. If anything, Jeongin found himself feeling slightly more irritated because now he had one less reason to be spiteful.

“I’d like to thank you again for coming here,” Seungmin spoke up, and it took Jeongin his everything to keep himself from saying funny, I don’t remember you saying anything like that because it was Jisung who did. “My name is Kim Seungmin, and I’m the son of Kim Seungwoo, the King of Suncrest.”

Jeongin was thankful that Felix had told him about this, because otherwise, he would be doing uncool things in front of these people. He was able to keep his face straight, gaze unwavering as he ignored how everyone’s eyes were on him.

Seungmin looked like he was waiting for Jeongin to say something, but Jeongin thought that he looked kinda relieved when he didn’t.

Seungmin’s gaze shifted momentarily before he continued, “We’ve pushed for this meeting because of the recent revelation of us being soulmates.” Jeongin hoped Seungmin would stop stating the obvious and get to the point, because he was really itching to say something now. “It’s not something we’d normally do, because we do understand that you need time before you’re ready to see us. But time isn’t exactly a luxury we could afford right now, because there have been increasingly… worrying things happening in the capital.”

Seungmin’s words hung in the air.

“What things?” Jeongin asked, sounding impatient even though he could’ve sworn he tried to sound neutral.

Seungmin caught the eyes of Chan, who was sitting right beside Jeongin. Jeongin could see Chan nodding subtly in response from the tails of his eyes.

“There has been a break-in at the Redmont Palace,” Seungmin revealed, a slight frown forming between his brows. Jeongin would like to say that he couldn’t care less about break-ins, if he was being entirely honest he’d have cheered if he witnessed it with his own eyes; but Felix told him to be non-hostile acquaintances with these people, so he would have to be satisfied with saying it in his mind. “As you probably know, there are three palaces in the capital. The Redmont Palace, The Silvercrest Palace, and The Goldencrest Palace. The Redmont Palace is where the rest of the Royal Family resides, my uncle—the King’s younger brother—and his wife, as well as their children. It is also open to everyone’s families, although they all prefer to stay at their own residences for the most part. The Goldencrest Palace is where the King and Queen reside, which serves as the main Palace, and Silvercrest is where I, where we reside.”

“Break-ins or attacks on the palace are unprecedented,” Chan said quietly, making Jeongin turn to him. “It’s punishable with life in prison, and if it’s proved to be an attempt of coup d’etat, death.”

Figures that these people had no problem taking lives just because there was a break-in in their stupidly huge estate. “What’s that got to do with me?” Jeongin asked, very much unkindly.

“While the break-in claimed no victims and nothing was found to be stolen or missing, the perpetrator has not been found,” Seungmin explained to him patiently. “The Palaces, all three of them, are not exactly easy to break into. In fact, it should be impossible, with the amount of guards stationed in each one.”

“Like it or not, you’re our soulmate,” Changbin spoke up. “When there is an attack, or a potential attack that is directed towards the Royal Family, the priority is to keep everyone, especially the King, Queen, and the Heir to the throne, safe. In extension, it includes us as his soulmates.”

That like it or not almost made Jeongin snap.

Jeongin waited for someone to say something, but they all just stared at him. Waiting.

“What do you want from me?” Jeongin asked, his patience thinning at a rapid pace.

“We think that it would be wise for you to stay here with us until the perpetrator is apprehended,” Minho spoke for the first time.

Jeongin felt so stupid, because of course that was it, what else could they possibly want from someone like him? He’s a vulnerability, and they can’t take being vulnerable.

The rational part of his mind told him that Seungmin is the prince and the literal heir to the throne, so of course, he had to be kept safe—but the rest of his mind didn’t care. Why should he care? Doesn’t he matter too? What about him and his family, his life? What about what Jeongin wants?

“Do I have a say in this?” Jeongin clenched his teeth.

“Of course you do.”

“I think it’s only reasonable for you to stay.”

“We’re just trying to keep you safe.”

Three of them spoke at the same time: Jisung, Minho, and Changbin, their voices overlapping each other.

Jeongin was really on his last bit of self-control now. He turned to Seungmin and threw him a sharp look, because he knew that he was the one with the final say in this.

“Do I?” Jeongin challenged.

Seungmin took a measured pause before he answered, he stared back at Jeongin, looking thoughtful. “I think it would be best for you to stay,” he said eventually.

“That’s not what I asked,” Jeongin snapped. “Do I, or do I not, have a choice in this?”

The temperature of the room seemed to drop at his tone.

“Jeongin—”

“The answer is no, isn’t it?” Jeongin pressed, his tone acidic. “Why can’t you say it? Is it because it’s too hard to say? Too hard to face the truth? That you’re all just selfish, pretentious nobles who are nothing but dictators?”

Finally, his words seemed to strike a nerve.

“That is not what this is, and you know it,” Changbin argued back hotly.

Good. Because Jeongin felt like he was on fire.

“Is it not?” he fired back fiercely. “You told me to come or you’re coming to me. You didn’t even ask if I want to meet, you just assumed that I do. And now, you’re telling me that I should stay. We’ve only recently met, and all you have done is order me around!” Jeongin continued, voice louder by the second. “Because I’m just a commoner, aren’t I? Because what could possibly be important in a commoner’s life compared to that of a noble, or a prince?”

“We’re sorry,” Chan interjected in an attempt to defuse the situation. “That’s not our intention. Truly, we—”

Whipping around to face Chan, Jeongin interrupted, “If I say no, and I walk out this room at this very second,” he began, voice chillingly composed. “Would you let me?”

Chan went suspiciously silent at that, seemingly at a loss for words.

“If I say that I want to go home now, would I make it to the gates?” Jeongin continued, sneering. His hands were clenched into fists now, and he could almost feel himself shaking in anger.

“Jeongin,” Seungmin spoke up hesitantly, face twisting in something that looks like guilt. Jeongin felt a little satisfied at that. “I know that this isn’t ideal. I’m sorry. But… This is only temporary. When the situation is under control we… we won’t stop you from leaving, if that’s what you want.”

Jeongin was ready to argue, to say something back, anything. But he didn’t see that coming. “Really?” he asked, wanting to make sure that he heard that right.

“Of course,” Seungmin confirmed, seemingly relieved that Jeongin didn’t look like he was one second away from punching someone in the face anymore. “We won’t force you to stay, you can have—”

“So when this is over, you’ll leave me alone?” Jeongin asked, hope filtering into his voice. “I can go home and we won’t see each other ever again?”

“We—” Jisung started before stopping mid-sentence, expression changing as he processed what Jeongin said. “What?”

“What?” Jeongin asked back, unsure which part Jisung was confused about.

“Jeongin,” Chan spoke up from beside him, voice quiet. “What do you mean?”

It was then it hit Jeongin, that when Seungmin said we won’t stop you from leaving, he didn’t mean leaving forever as Jeongin would like. He felt his mood turning steadily sour by the second.

“You said you won’t stop me from leaving,” Jeongin said, tone accusatory.

“You don’t want to be our… you don’t want to be with us?” It was Hyunjin who spoke up. Jeongin almost forgot he was there, since he had been silent the whole time. Felix might have forgiven him, but Jeongin can be petty when he wants to. If Hyunjin had no problem treating Felix in a way he didn’t deserve to be treated, he shouldn’t have any problem with Jeongin returning the favor. Maybe if he played nice whenever Felix was looking, he could get away with being semi-hostile with Hyunjin and the rest of his soulmates.

“No,” Jeongin replied bluntly. He saw their faces fall, and he waited for the surge of guilt to eat his insides.

It didn’t happen.

Instead, he felt relieved; because he finally did it. He finally said it.

The room was silent for a few seconds, a few minutes? Jeongin had no idea. The silence was making him feel a little nervous, if he had to be honest about it.

But he didn’t regret it. He didn’t regret saying it, admitting it out loud. He had to do it, otherwise, these people were going to keep pushing him around under false pretenses.

“Why?” It was Jisung who broke the silence, looking like he was pretty close to tears.

And there it was, the guilt Jeongin was waiting for.

He considered the question and thought about his answer. Jeongin had a multitude of reasons about why he didn’t want to be with them, he could list at least a hundred reasons related to their different backgrounds.

But Jisung seemed genuinely hurt. He held his gaze, not looking away or blinking away despite how suspiciously damp his eyes looked, so Jeongin thought that he deserved the truth. They deserved the truth; because even though there are a thousand reasons why he couldn’t be with them, only one of them really mattered.

“There is someone I love,” Jeongin said quietly, surprised that for the first time, he finally admitted it. Not only to the room, but to himself. The feeling he’d rather not name, the desperation, the longing, the butterflies. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with them.” If they would have me, he added silently.

It felt like no one was breathing in the room, but Jeongin could barely notice it.

Jeongin was always taught that honesty was priceless.

It was how his family operated—they don’t dance around words, nor do they sugarcoat things. They acknowledge feelings and speak plainly; and since that was how he was brought up, Jeongin had always been straightforward and honest.

Honesty wasn’t hard, it was easy. If anything, Jeongin struggled with lies and half-truths, with sugarcoats, and with keeping himself from saying the things he thought.

He never thought that would change, but he was clearly wrong. One bright-eyed, freckled boy came and changed everything.

Ever since he met Felix, his thoughts have been so loud it was hard to sleep, and the thought of speaking about how he feels had him reeling from fear.

He had been so terrified of it that he didn’t even want to admit it to himself; that for the first time in his life, Yang Jeongin was in love.

And he was in love with the person who wasn’t destined for him.

 

---

 

Felix sighed as he wandered absentmindedly through the corridors of the West Wing. He wished he had the insight to ask Yeonjun how he could find him, because they were far from done with their tour and said tour couldn’t be resumed without him finding Yeonjun.

Hyunjin apologizing to Felix had been a surprise—a pleasant one because Felix was already planning to be the one apologizing the next time he sees him.

 

“Hi,” Felix greeted Hyunjin with a degree of uncertainty after he opened the door for him.

“Hi,” Hyunjin responded anxiously, as he casted a quick glance in Jeongin’s direction, he was standing slightly behind Felix. “Is this a good time?”

Felix glanced to look at Jeongin, who was sporting an impassive expression. Turning back to face Hyunjin, Felix managed to swallow his unease before responding, “Of course.”

Weirdly enough, Hyunjin’s eyes flickered toward Jeongin again as he shifted nervously, but Jeongin wasn’t even looking at Hyunjin when Felix turned to look at him again, so Felix had no idea what that was about.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin blurted out. “I was out of line and I was rude to you. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you, which was highly inappropriate. I’m really, really sorry.”

“Oh,” Felix said very brilliantly, before his mind caught up and he realized that Hyunjin was not kicking him out, he was apologizing to him. “That’s okay, you don’t need to apologize, I…” Felix turned to Jeongin for support, but Jeongin was doing this weird thing with his eyes where he widened them as if he was disagreeing with whatever Felix wanted to say. Felix just frowned at him in confusion, so now Jeongin just stared at Felix flatly like he was a disappointment. “I mean… that’s great!” Felix said slowly, as he turned back to face Hyunjin. “Great that you’re kind enough to apologize, not great that you’re having a bad day. I’m so sorry to hear that, and I’m sorry for—”

Felix wasn’t able to finish what he was going to say, because Jeongin suddenly pulled him backward, placing himself between him and Hyunjin. “Anything else you’d like to add?” he asked coldly.

Felix would like to facepalm himself so hard, because why would Jeongin ask him that? Why would he prompt Hyunjin to say more? What if he started remembering that he wanted to kick Felix out of the palace?

“I…” Hyunjin faltered, grappling for words. “I hope you’ll forgive me?”

Felix just stared back at him like an idiot he was, because he couldn’t comprehend what was happening.

“Would you like to forgive him, hyung?” Jeongin asked very helpfully.

“Would I like to—of course!” Felix replied, mortified, because what kind of question was that?

Jeongin seemed disappointed at his answer, but Hyunjin was visibly relieved. “Thank you,” he said like Felix just handed him a bag of gold or something.

 

Felix shook his head to shoo the memory away. That was so awkward and stressful he never wanted to relive it, even if it was only in his memory.

He was pulled away from his thoughts when he noticed someone carrying a huge basket full of white sheets piled on it. It was piled so high that Felix couldn’t see her face.

“Hi,” Felix greeted politely when she was within arm’s reach. Unfortunately, she yelped and dropped the whole basket, white sheets cascading around them.

She flushed in embarrassment as she stared at him in fear. “I’m very—”

“I’m so sorry!” Felix blurted quickly before she could finish. “Are you okay? I startled you, didn’t I? I’m sorry,” he swiftly bent down to gather the sheets.

Unbeknownst to Felix, the woman stared at him for a second, horrified, before she started moving to pick up the sheets herself. “No, please! You didn’t, and you don’t need to do this, please let me, Sir,” she said as she frantically started gathering the sheets herself.

“It’s okay,” Felix responded without stopping. He gathered everything quickly, tugged the ones in her hand, and took the basket as he stood back up. “Where to?” he asked.

The woman was standing to his side, clutching onto the hem of her uniform so hard it almost looked like it was going to rip. She tried convincing him to let her take the basket a few more times before she realized that he was set on helping her, so eventually, she led him to the part of the palace where they do laundry.

Her name was Chaerin. She seemed really nervous, maybe even borderline scared, so Felix chattered brightly and told her about how he used to help Mrs. Jung with the inn back in Duskwood so that she’d know that he really didn’t mind helping out, if carrying a basket full of sheets can be categorized as that.

It seemed to work because she stopped looking at him like he was going to snap at her at any second and started telling him about herself. She had been working at the Silvercrest Palace for a few years with her mother and sister. Felix didn’t even have to ask about them because when they reached the laundry courtyard, she introduced him to them.

They met him with a blend of unease and caution at first, but Felix went to put the sheets into a sizable water-filled bucket filled, and when he returned, their reservations were gone. That was how Felix found himself in the kitchen a few hours later, as Chaerin and her sister Chaeeun have taken him around the staff and servants’ quarters, introducing him to everyone they stumbled into. Some of them were the kitchen staff. Among them was Jihee, a particularly enthusiastic pastry chef whose level of enthusiasm and passion rivaled Hayeon. She made him try desserts and pastries she had been experimenting on; and unfortunately for Felix, she had a lot of experiments so he was starting to think that his stomach was going to explode when Yeonjun found him.

Yeonjun stared at him in amusement before he rescued Felix from Jihee’s clutches. They were a safe distance away from the kitchen when Felix whispered, “Thanks for saving me. Any later and I would probably have died,” he said as he rubbed his stomach, feeling like he was pregnant or something. “Now I know why you told me to avoid the kitchens.”

Yeonjun was smiling in amusement when he replied, “I actually told you to stay away from the kitchen for an entirely different reason,” he said. “But that doesn’t matter now,” he added when Felix stared at him in confusion.

“Tell me,” Felix pressed.

Yeonjun paused before he answered, “The kitchen staff don’t really like letting non-staff into the kitchen,” he explained. “Even if you’re a noble or the King’s staff, they wouldn’t hesitate to kick you out of their kitchen. They bite their tongue when it’s the royal family themselves, but honestly, they don’t really go to the kitchen much, if at all. They can be very protective of their workspace and… experiments. You’ve seen Jihee noona.”

“Right,” Felix agreed with a grimace. Jihee wouldn’t stop feeding him, but whenever Felix got too curious and reached out to touch something she was always quick to whack his hand away rather aggressively.

“Don’t worry. At his point, I think you actually have to worry about not getting dragged into the kitchen, because noona seemed to like having you as her test subject. Soon, she would have told her crazy chef friends who are just as passionate about their craft. The next time you get into the kitchen, make sure you have plenty of room to spare.”

Felix laughed at that, “Crazy chefs, very funny,” he commented, but Yeonjun just stared back flatly, seemingly unimpressed. “You’re joking? It’s a joke, right?”

Opting to ignore Felix’s questions entirely, Yeonjun spoke, “Come on, I promised I’ll show you the rest of the West Wing,” he said as he quickened his pace.

“You’re just joking, right? Hey!”

 

---

 

As evening drew near and dinner approached, Felix found himself hurrying back to his room a few hours later. One of the guards they ran into just informed him that Jeongin had been looking for him a while ago.

Felix had gotten quite comfortable with Yeonjun, and he finally figured out that he was older than him so he calls him hyung now. Apparently, Yeonjun stays in the East Wing with his parents because his father was the royal guard captain, and Yeonjun was training to be a royal guard under his guidance. Access to the East Wing was limited to those explicitly called or invited by Prince Seungmin or his Soulbond Heirs, and a royal guard has to accompany them at all times.

Felix wondered if that meant Jeongin was free to come and go to the East Wing.

Arriving in front of Jeongin’s room, Felix knocked and waited. There was no response, so he knocked some more. “Innie?” he asked tentatively. The door stayed shut, and Felix could still hear nothing, so Jeongin was either mad at him, or he was sleeping… or maybe he wasn’t in his room.

Felix would like to think that Jeongin had no reason to be mad at him, but then he remembered that Jeongin had to face his soulmates while Felix was busy stuffing his face with desserts. Jeongin had no way of knowing but if he did, his anger would be justified.

Sighing in resignation as he made his way to his own room, Felix stood frozen in the doorway as his gaze fell upon Jeongin. He was sitting at the edge of the bed as he stared blankly into the distance. Slowly, he turned to Felix as he noticed his presence. A small smile formed on his lips as he softly greeted, “Hey, hyung.”

Felix wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about Jeongin’s smile that made him ache.

“Hi,” Felix replied, voice tender, as he closed the door behind him. Hesitantly, he went to sit beside Jeongin, their shoulders brushing against each other.

Felix wanted to ask how the conversation went, but he saw exhaustion etched on Jeongin’s face. He decided that the best thing he could do for his friend at the moment was to just be there, to offer comfort in silence.

That was probably the right thing to do because Jeongin stayed quiet for a few minutes before he eventually let out a deep sigh. The next thing Felix knew, Jeongin’s head was on his shoulder. Instinctively, Felix wrapped his arm around Jeongin’s shoulder, feeling relieved when he felt the younger relaxing.

They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, Jeongin started speaking up, recounting what happened. He told Felix about how they wanted him to stay, without giving him much choice, really, which was very concerning if Felix had to be honest. But then he heard about their reason, and Felix thought that they made sense. He didn’t voice his opinions out loud, though, because it probably wouldn’t make Jeongin happy. They’re making sense, but it was also unfair to Jeongin, whose whole life had to be put on pause because of this.

When Jeongin told him that he had told his soulmates about his intention to not be with them, though, Felix blanched. “You told them?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jeongin confirmed, before he continued hesitantly. “Do you think I shouldn’t?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. But I think that was… really brave of you, Innie.”

“I wasn’t being brave,” Jeongin averted his gaze. “I was just being honest.”

“Being honest is brave,” Felix disagreed gently. “You did well, Jeongin-ah. I’m sure they’ll catch the culprit soon, yeah? And then we can finally go home. You’ll introduce me to your partner, right?”

Jeongin spluttered in response. “My partner?!”

“This person I kept hearing of,” Felix clarified, in case Jeongin didn’t get it. “You’re dating them, yeah? I can’t believe you’ve never introduced me to them.” He pouted for good measure. Somehow, he had a good feeling about this person, whoever it was. Jeongin gets all flustered whenever he brought them up, so he must be particularly smitten or something. His heart ached a little at the thought, but if he imagined Jeongin being happy with this mysterious person, everything would fade into relief and happiness, too—because nothing makes him happier than Jeongin’s happiness.

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Jeongin said, face flushed, distracting Felix from his thoughts.

“Complicated how?” Felix frowned, worried. “They’re not giving you a hard time, right?”

Jeongin let out a nervous chuckle, “No, nothing like that.”

Okay, that was a little too vague than he’d like.

“They’re a good person, yeah?” Felix asked, just to be sure. He was starting to have less confidence in this person.

Jeongin’s expression softened, “The best,” he said softly.

Jeongin’s bluntness and honesty could be a little inconvenient at times, but Felix mostly loved it, because he could trust whatever Jeongin was saying without fearing that his friend was lying or saying half-truths. “Good,” Felix said, “because you deserve nothing but the best.”

Felix could hear Jeongin muttering something that sounded like thanks, hyung, but he wasn’t entirely sure because he said it so quietly with his face turned away from Felix, although he could spot a tinge of red on his ears. Point for Felix, Jeongin was always flustered whenever this person was brought up.

Felix was sure he was going to meet them someday and have his chance to make sure that they were indeed, a good person, and find ways to secretly thank them for being Jeongin’s person.

One day.

 

---

 

When Jeongin woke up the next morning, he didn’t have the time to feel confused because the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Felix slumped on a chair by his bedside. Blinking owlishly, it took Jeongin a few seconds to piece the puzzle together, he had fallen asleep in Felix’s room.

That was enough to jolt him awake as he pushed himself to a sitting position.

They had talked last night, and they ate dinner here because when he was given the choice to either eat with his soulmates or not, he obviously chose not to. The servants brought the food into Felix’s room and arranged everything neatly on the small dining table near the window. Honestly, Jeongin thought that it was ridiculous that these nobles had everything in the bedroom, but now he was grateful that they did.

They ate and Jeongin continued telling Felix about what happened—he told him everything from the Redmont Palace break-ins to the guard attacks at the town borders. He also told Felix about how they were telling Jeongin to keep quiet for now, that the people who knows that Jeongin was their soulmate should be kept to a minimum. Apparently, no one but the six men knew about Jeongin; they haven’t told their parents, their friends, or any of the staff.

“It would be wise not to give any clues about who we are, if you’re planning to write letters to your family,” Chan suggested with a subdued tone. The mood had turned somber after Jeongin’s confession.

“They already know your name,” Jeongin said, turning to Jisung. “But don’t worry. I told them that I don’t want anyone to know, so they won’t be telling anyone.”

Chan nodded, seemingly satisfied with that.

The only thing Jeongin didn’t tell Felix about was his main reason for rejecting them.

It was too much for Jeongin that Felix had brought the topic up when he was the person Jeongin was referring to—Jeongin wasn’t going to admit that he was in love with Felix when Felix thought he was referring to someone else entirely.

Honestly, he didn’t know if he was supposed to laugh or cry because on one side, he didn’t have to worry about Felix realizing that he was pathetically in love with him since apparently, he was very oblivious. On the other side, Felix didn’t seem bothered by the fact that Jeongin had someone he liked, so that means that his friend didn’t feel that way toward him.

Fates, when did his life get so complicated?

Jeongin must’ve fallen asleep somewhere during the conversation, because he was all tucked in when he woke up, which meant Felix must’ve done it for him. His heart swelled at the thought.

Getting up quietly, he slowly moved Felix to his own bed before he slipped out of the room, back into his own. Maybe showering will distract him from this mess he called life.

 

---

 

Seungmin wasn’t entirely sure what he expected, but it was definitely not this. Admittedly, if he thought about it more carefully, this was a possibility he should’ve considered a long time ago. He supposed things had been going considerably alright with the rest of his soulmates that he thought the same thing would happen this time—that it would be challenging, and that it would take time, but eventually it would be fine.

He didn’t think that their last soulmate would have their heart set on someone else.

Sure, he and Jisung didn’t get along well at first, but they were literally kids when they first met and realized that they were soulmates, thanks to Jisung’s tendency to stumble over the air and face plant on the ground.

By then, his father just told him to be friends with Jisung, dubbing him Seungmin’s “life-friend”, which went as well as it could to a six-year-old: not well. Seungmin didn’t like Jisung that much, he remembered asking his mother if there was a way to trade him with someone else, which made her eyes crinkle in amusement.

When Chan and Changbin came into the picture, Seungmin and Jisung were a few years older and their parents had sat them down and explained the whole soulmate thing properly.

Chan and Changbin were older, but not by much, and they both had found each other even earlier than Seungmin and Jisung did because their fathers were good friends. The two had always thought that they’d live their lives together, even though at that point Seungmin didn’t think they were particularly in love. None of them was, until they were a bit older.

At least that was what Seungmin thought. Chan and Changbin came in pairs though, so even if they were in love with each other, it wouldn’t have been a problem.

They found Minho a few years later, followed by Hyunjin in a few more years. Those two were a handful because of their strong personalities—now that Seungmin thought of it, all of them has a rather strong personality—but neither of them had any pre-existing romantic attachments.

Jeongin having someone else in mind somehow felt like a dead-end; it felt like something they couldn’t work through. What was Seungmin supposed to suggest, that they spend some time with Jeongin and sway him their way? He didn’t want that. His father and mother were soulmates, but they married out of love. It took Seungmin years to fall in love with his soulmates—admittedly because he was too young when he met most of them, but his point stands. He believed in a genuine bond, and he wanted nothing less for him and his soulmates.

And it’s not like Seungmin was already in love with Jeongin or anything. He was curious about him, he wanted to know him better, and to tell him how glad he was that Jeongin was alright and that he made it to them.

He didn’t know Jeongin much, if at all, but Seungmin knew enough to understand that Jeongin meant what he said. Seungmin knew enough to recognize what love looked like.

Seungmin spent last night cooped up in his study—something he does a lot when he had a lot on his mind—so he wasn’t sure if his soulmates had talked about this whole situation, but they probably have.

This whole thing with Jeongin had Seungmin second-guessing himself, did the others want to be here? Their whole lives are mapped out just because they’re his soulmates, so does that mean he was single-handedly, albeit indirectly, forcing them into things?

His spiraling thoughts kept him from unlocking his doors when the others came knocking last night. It was probably gonna get him in trouble later, but he didn’t care.

Seungmin came to the dining room as late as he could without being late for breakfast, he arrived just as Jeongin and Felix did. They all settled to their seats and the servants filtered in, bringing trays filled with food for the morning.

Seated across Jeongin this time, Seungmin watched as he muttered his thank you quietly, a contrast to Felix who was beaming as he thanked the servants. Seungmin couldn’t help but notice the servants’ slightly brighter smiles toward Jeongin’s friend—a contrast to their usual polite, practiced smile.

Chan initiated the conversation after the meal was set up and the servants left the room. Addressing both Jeongin and Felix, he spoke, “I hope you both had plenty of rest yesterday.”

Felix glanced briefly at Jeongin like he was waiting for him to say something before turning his attention back to Chan, “We did, thank you. I hope you did, too.”

Chan’s smile was genuine as he responded, “We did,” he said, pausing for a few seconds before he continued. “We were thinking that we could all show you around the palace. We could also take a stroll in the garden, if you’d like? It’s particularly beautiful at this time of the year.”

Well, that was news for Seungmin, but he wasn’t that surprised. They wouldn’t have decided anything without him there, but regardless of what’s going to happen, they all would like to still get to know Jeongin.

“Actually, we have plans today,” Jeongin interjected. “I’m going to show hyung around the capital.”

To Seungmin, it seemed like that was news to Felix as well, because he blinked owlishly as if what Jeongin said caught him off-guard.

“I wouldn’t recommend that,” Minho commented nonchalantly as he reached out to take a slice of bread. “As we said, our priority is to stay safe for now. Venturing outside the palace goes against that.”

Jeongin had been clear in his intentions about getting Felix in on everything, declaring that whatever they say will be told to Felix. So really, there was no point in asking him to leave the room. That was why they were discussing their situation so freely in front of him now.

Jeongin’s head snapped towards Minho and there it was, the hostility coming back at full speed. “What?” he challenged.

But Minho was Minho, and he was always unfazed in the face of hostility, if anything, he always seemed to enjoy it. “Going outside is not a good idea for now,” Minho replied calmly.

“Did you perhaps forget to mention that I was a prisoner here, Your Highness?” Jeongin snapped, his voice laced with sarcasm. “Is there anything you’d like to add? Why don’t you just lock me in my room and be done with it?”

“You’re not a prisoner here,” Jisung said quickly, trying to placate Jeongin before it was too late.

“I didn’t go to any of your fancy schools, but I know what the word prisoner means. Go to your stupid library and look it up in the dictionary, I’ll wait.” Jeongin was glaring daggers now, making Jisung turn crestfallen.

“There’s no need to get emotional,” Minho retorted sharply, tone dripping with mockery. He was definitely annoyed at Jeongin for saying that to Jisung.

“Emotional?” Jeongin stood up abruptly before he slammed his hands on the table. “Well, fuck you! I—”

Felix’s voice, gentle and soothing, cut through the tension. “Innie,” he said softly as he reached out to grasp Jeongin’s wrist. Jeongin’s head turned to him so fast Seungmin thought he was going to snap at his friend, too, but they just stared at each other—Felix stared at Jeongin with wide eyes like he was worried for him—or maybe he was pleading.

While Jeongin was breathing heavily in anger, it seemed like his anger was dying by the second.

And then like magic, Jeongin averted his gaze and sat back down.

From the beginning, Jeongin had reminded Seungmin of Dongja, one of the horses they have in the palace.

He was a beautiful, white horse who seemed to hate humans. He hated it when they get close, he hated being touched, and he doesn’t let anyone ride him. Seungmin always thought that Dongja doesn’t belong in the stables, he was like a wild horse yearning for the wild, for freedom.

Jeongin was like that. 

Even before he spoke up and announced his unwillingness to be there, Seungmin thought that Jeongin wasn’t made for a suffocating life in the capital; he doesn’t belong in the palace, so cooped up and separated from the world.

Jeongin was of the wild, and Seungmin was right to be worried. After all, those who belong to the wild don’t take it kindly to being caged.

But Seungmin wasn’t entirely right either, because someone had tamed him.

Suddenly, Seungmin was pretty sure he knew who the person Jeongin was referring to yesterday.

Notes:

felix: terrified of hyunjin

hyunjin: terrified of jeongin

jeongin: acts normal but starts glaring menacingly whenever felix turned his back

---

a slightly longer chapter this time! took me a while because i keep feeling unsatisfied with what i've written, but i don't have the energy to redo it again so i decided to just go with it

as always, the next chapter will be coming in a week unless i managed to finish early. hope you liked the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 14: A Great King

Felix thought that Jeongin’s soulmates seemed like good people, judging by how they didn’t react negatively yesterday when they first arrived, but perhaps it made sense that it wouldn’t last.

Jeongin hasn’t made it easy for them, but Felix would be lying if he said that they’ve made it easy for Jeongin.

While Felix wished Jeongin didn’t curse at them, he could understand his friend’s feelings. Even if their intentions were good, Felix wouldn’t know how to convince Jeongin he wasn’t a prisoner because sure, he wasn’t kept in a dungeon or something, but he was kept here.

“Jeongin,” Chan bravely broke the silence. “We realize how this would be upsetting to you, but we hoped you would understand that we cannot afford to jeopardize our safety.”

“We believe that the City Guards would be able to capture the person responsible soon. The Capital’s best investigators are working relentlessly on this. We just need to be patient,” Changbin chimed in reassuringly.

While Felix was slightly assured, he could tell that Jeongin wasn’t.

“How long is soon?” Jeongin asked skeptically.

Chan and Changbin’s eyes locked for a second before the latter replied, “Ideally within the week.”

He sounded confident. Felix wished he could be that confident about finding his uncle.

Jeongin pressed on, “And if things don’t get resolved within the week?”

“I’d like to think that it wouldn’t take more than a month,” Chan said a little hesitantly. “Most crimes in the capital are solved within the month. We have the best investigators and guards from all over the kingdom.”

“Good for you,” Jeongin commented, sounding like he couldn’t care less. “If it takes more than a month, what then? Even worse, what if they never caught this person? Does that mean I’d have to stay here forever? What if it was just a petty attempt at theft? What are the chances someone would be stupid enough to attack the royal family when you have a stupid amount of guards stationed everywhere around your palaces?”

Seungmin, who had been quietly observing, interjected calmly, “They will catch this person,” he sounded just as confident as Chan was.

Their confidence did make Felix feel better about the whole thing, but even he knew that it didn’t guarantee anything.

“I know it might be hard to believe,” Jeongin began, his words clipped, his steely voice made Felix shift uncomfortably because he could see it coming, the storm. “But I have a life, too. I have things going on in my life, I have responsibilities, I have my family and friends to think about.”

“They could come here,” Jisung suggested tentatively. “Your family is welcome here, Jeongin,” his eyes flickered toward Felix for a second. “So are your friends.”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, because Felix could sense Jeongin’s anger even before he responded, he was furious.

“Screw you!” Jeongin exclaimed. “So it’s not enough for me to throw my life and everything in it away, you want my family to do the same? My friends? They could come here and do what?! Be a prisoner to this place just like me?! What makes you think that I would want that for—“

“No, screw you!” Changbin interjected hotly.

“Bin—” Chan tried warning him, sensing how this was going bad real fast, but Changbin didn’t seem to care.

“Isn’t life tough back home? It’s good that we’re soulmates, it means that your lives are guaranteed, your family doesn’t have to work themselves to death just to afford food, to survive! Maybe you should stop being angry and start being grateful!”

Now that was too much. Even Felix was starting to feel something unfamiliar in his chest, something that was burning.

Jeongin’s eyes zeroed in on him, his face was devoid of emotions as he responded, “Don’t tell me how to feel,” he said as he rose from his seat. “My life was perfect before I met you. I’ll do anything to keep my life as it is, happy, peaceful, and without any of you in it.”

He turned and went away then, slamming the door behind him.

The resounding thud reverberated throughout the room, the sound of the door slamming echoed with finality.

Strangely enough, despite the tension in the room, Felix could feel himself feeling less nervous. Or maybe he was nervous, but he could barely notice it now that he knew what he had to do—what he wanted to do.

Felix knew he meant nothing to them. After all, he was just the friend. But even though they grew up not feeling his pain, he grew up feeling theirs. He wondered about the story behind each of them, he wondered which pain was whose, he wondered if they helped each other through them. He wondered which one of them broke their wrist a few years ago, he wondered which one of them hit themselves on the head so hard Felix saw stars.

Jeongin was important to Felix, and he didn’t know anything about these people in front of him, but they were also his soulmates.

And perhaps that was enough for him, because he spent his life thinking about them—what kind of people they were and what kind of life they were living. Admittedly, he spent his life thinking that he would have a soulmate, and he still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact that he had multiple ones. He didn’t want to think about it at all, if it was up to him. But he had to, because for once, they were right in front of him, looking so troubled and lost.

He was worried about Jeongin, and it pained him to see his friend go through this; but they were right there in front of him, and maybe Felix wanted them to be alright, too. Maybe, he wanted them to be happy, too.

Maybe it didn’t matter if he had one or ten soulmates. Maybe he still wanted them all to be happy. Or maybe, it was the wrongness that has settled in his heart; they’re not supposed to be like this, so on edge with each other, fighting each other.

“I know I’m just the friend here, and you probably couldn’t care less about what I think, but I think you’re good people,” Felix’s voice broke the silence, tentative but resolute. “I understand your reasoning, why you’re asking him to stay and why you’re not letting him out.”

Felix did understand. Because he had seen it before, he had experienced it himself.

To Jeongin, it was a demand—selfish, inconsiderate, and entirely nonsensical. And perhaps it was, to some degree. But to Felix, it was warmth from a distant past, memories he buried so deeply so that he didn’t have to remember. To Felix, it reminded him of love.

To Felix, love was gentle caresses and warm hugs. It was soft melodies hummed as he was falling asleep, it was a freshly cooked meal at a small dining table. Love was soft-spoken words and patient scolding. Love was the breeze he could feel against his face, it was a home he comes to before the sun sets.

But to Felix, love was also invisible, intangible, and unfathomable. Love was unfamiliar, something he never saw but has always been there his entire life, it was something he had only heard of. It showed itself in the absence of one’s presence, it was a confident declaration uttered every time he wondered. Love was something he never believed—It was an unexplainable phenomenon, it was something that could be there despite the lack of signs or evidence.

Love was the heartbroken sobs he heard one summer’s night when he was five. Love was stone-cold fingers and unseeing eyes. Love was raging fires lighting up the night sky.

Above all, love was lonely—love was seclusion from the world, it was a small hut deep inside the woods; a place he was not allowed to venture too far from.

So when Felix said he understood where his—where Jeongin’s soulmates came from, he meant it.

Because Felix knew better than anyone how love could sometimes feel like a cage when it’s meant to be a shelter, a place of safety.

Call it a hunch, but Felix felt that the people in front of him were just genuinely trying to keep Jeongin safe. Well, trying to keep themselves safe through Jeongin, but still. It was selfish and they were quite inconsiderate, but Felix thought that they cared about Jeongin’s safety, too. It was perhaps far from love, since they’d just met yesterday, but it didn’t come from something bad, something malicious—their demand came from something good.

“You’re all important, you’re vital to the kingdom and its people. And I respect that, I don’t think I can imagine the amount of responsibility you’re all shouldering,” Felix acknowledged sincerely. “But please remember that you’ve had time, a lot more time to process it all, to understand what being the Crown Prince and his Soulbond Heirs mean—what it entails. That’s not the case with Jeongin.”

“Not even a month ago, he was Jeongin, the farmer’s son. He has his own thoughts and dreams, his own vision of the future. And then suddenly, he found himself being soulmate to a noble from the capital. I don’t know how you saw it, but it’s something huge for commoners like us. And then as he arrived here, he just realized that his soulmate wasn’t any regular noble, but the heirs to the crown themselves. He came here to meet you, but then it turns out that he has to stay, and to top it off, he just found out that he’s not allowed to venture out of the palace for who knows how long,”

“I’m not… I’m not trying to justify his actions. He cursed at you, and I think that was wrong. I’m sorry that he cursed at you,” Felix muttered, turning to Jisung. “I know that my apology doesn’t mean anything, and I agree. I would’ve offered to talk him into apologizing himself, but I can’t… I won’t, because I think you really hurt him, too.” His eyes flickered to Changbin. “And because I think the apology has to truly come from him, when he’s ready.”

If he was being honest, Felix didn’t think he would’ve come this far—he thought someone would’ve cut him off and told him to leave, but it hasn’t happened yet.

They were listening. They were listening to him.

Maybe Minhyuk was right. Maybe the clothes really did wonders. Maybe Felix owed him a favor, or a hundred favors, he wasn’t sure. What matters was the fact that they were listening to him, and they were letting him speak.

Deciding that he’d take whatever he could get, Felix continued, “Innie’s a great guy,” he stated confidently as he eyed them warily. “He’s amazing and he’s so, so kind. He’s really thoughtful and he respects and loves his parents so much. He’s gentle and caring and brave, and he’s a very important friend to me.”

He has the most precious smile and the warmest hugs, and he deserves all the good in the world, he didn’t say.

“He said you talked him into meeting us,” Jisung mumbled softly.

Felix blinked, surprised at the sudden change of topic. “Yeah,” he said as he shifted nervously. “He said… he said you weren’t rude, so I thought that he should give you a chance,” he added.

Felix hesitated for a few seconds, he wasn’t sure if he should tell them this—should he? Did Jeongin tell them about why he didn’t want to be with them? Felix wasn’t sure, but they looked like good people—his hunch told him they were good people so surely, surely they would understand. Surely, they wouldn’t fault Jeongin for being in love with someone else, right? Not when they were in love with each other, Felix was sure about that. He could see it in the way they looked at each other.

Swallowing, he continued, his words measured, “I don’t know if he’s told you, but… there’s someone he wants to be with, back in Duskwood. I didn’t know, not at first, that’s why I kept trying to goad him into meeting you before he decided to cross you off his list entirely,” he admitted, feeling a little guilty at that.

“Someone back in Duskwood?” Seungmin asked quietly, maybe a little incredulously, like the idea was ridiculous to him.

Felix’s heart sank. That wasn’t good. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, maybe Felix had just ruined it all. Maybe they won’t understand.

It was a little too late to back down now that he had told them, so Felix responded, “I don’t know them, he hasn’t introduced me to them yet, but…” he trailed off, feeling a little embarrassed that Jeongin didn’t trust him enough to introduce him to the person. “But I think he really likes them. I think he really wants to be with them.”

A few beats of silence enveloped the room.

“Are you sure you don’t know who it is?” Minho questioned skeptically as he squinted at him, sounding like he thought Felix was lying.

“Yeah?” Felix replied, confused. “It hasn’t been that long since I met Innie… but he’s a really, really important friend to me. It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as he’s happy with them. He told me that they’re a good person, and I trust his judgment. He’ll introduce them to me whenever he’s ready.”

Admittedly, Felix’s whole job would’ve been easier if he knew who this person was. He could’ve tried vouching for them, or he could’ve tried vouching about how happy Jeongin was whenever he was with them.

But he didn’t, so he probably didn’t sound that convincing, but he had to try.

He watched anxiously as Seungmin and Minho stared at each other, seemingly having a silent conversation.

“Where are you going with this?” Minho asked, not unkindly.

“I think you all got off on the wrong foot,” Felix pressed on, his voice earnest. “You were… you sounded angry at him, and I could understand why, but I was… I wanted to help you see his side of things too,” he said. The room went quiet at that. “And… I also want to be on his side for this, because that’s why I came here with him. And to be honest, this is all pretty daunting and he’s—he’s all alone,” Felix said helplessly, while there are six of you, he added silently.

“It hasn’t been easy for him to come here, to meet you,” Felix continued softly, averting his gaze towards the table. “He’s been hurting, he’s been struggling and all I could do was watch, so for someone claiming that he’s an important friend of mine, I’m not being a particularly good friend to him,” he admitted. “So I want to stand for him this time, I’m asking—or perhaps pleading,”

Felix turned to Seungmin, eyes full of emotions. “Please don’t take his freedom away,” he said softly, but fiercely.

He watched as Seungmin’s eyes widened, like he was taken aback, like he wasn’t expecting him to say that.

He expected anger—he expected him to shout and tell the guards to put him in the dungeons, or maybe to cut off his head—but he didn’t find any.

Instead, He watched as Seungmin steeled himself, eyes seemingly a little duller.

It was Changbin who replied, voice steely, “You’re asking us to give up our soulmate?”

Turning to him, Felix answered, “No,” he breathed. “I’m asking you to let him choose. Please don’t take his freedom to choose,” he continued. “I want him to be free to choose what makes him happy.”

His words bore a weight heavier than he realized, because he could see their faces, how they all turned grim.

Eventually, Hyunjin spoke up, “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I don’t,” Felix admitted slowly, quietly, feeling guilt settle in his stomach. “I’m sorry,”

Hyunjin, who looked like he had a few more things to say initially, closed his mouth at his apology.

“Neither does Jeongin,” Felix added eventually. “But maybe… maybe you can help him understand. You’ve been patient with him and he hasn’t made it easy but I hope,” he took a deep, steadying breath. “I hope you can be a little more patient with him.”

Felix supposed it was fair; as far as he knew the Kingdom had been at peace for a long time, and neither his mom nor his uncle has ever mentioned any war. But maybe even though there was no ongoing war, there were things at stake, and he had no idea what those things were.

“I’m sorry for overstepping,” Felix said as he stood up slowly, sensing that he had probably overstayed his welcome, “and thank you… for letting me speak.”

With a respectful bow, Felix turned to leave the room. He needed to find Jeongin now.

 

---

 

Seungmin had wondered if Felix had been playing them all along, because if he was the person Jeongin loved, then he was probably here to make sure that they don’t take him away or something. But Seungmin had been wrong, because Felix seemed to think that Jeongin was in love was someone else. Was he seeing things wrong? Was Felix lying and manipulating them all? Or was he just stupidly oblivious?

“Maybe we’re going overboard by prohibiting him from going outside,” Jisung spoke up when nobody said anything after Felix left. “We're on a lockdown... but still, Felix’s got a point. We can’t just expect Jeongin to be alright with all of this.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin agreed hesitantly, maybe a little begrudgingly. “No one knows who he is, anyways? And the only ones who know he’s here at all are those who work here. Even then they have no idea that he’s our… you know.”

“Give it a few more days,” Changbin responded, sounding tired. “I have a feeling they will catch them soon.”

Statistically and logically, it shouldn’t take more than a few more days, more than four days to be exact. Because on the fifth day, it would’ve been more than a month since the incident. On the fifth day, this was going to be the only case in the past few decades that wasn’t solved in a month. Not to mention, they were still looking for the people who attacked the guards at the borders last week.

Seungmin could practically feel a headache forming.

“So are we going to talk about it?” Minho prompted, looking around. “About Jeongin? What are we gonna do about him?”

Seungmin didn’t need to ask to know that Minho meant in general, when the break-in situation was handled and they can’t keep him here for that reason anymore.

“We can’t force him,” Seungmin answered firmly, tone final, a clear declaration of his stance.

Seungmin knew he was up for a ride when Minho’s sharp gaze was fixed on him.

“Actually, we can,” Minho pointed out as if Seungmin didn’t know it. As if Seungmin didn’t know it better than him. “You’re the heir to the throne, and it is stated in the laws that the soulmate of an Heir is required to be officially bonded, for the safety of the Kingdom and the Heir.”

“We could tell your father,” Hyunjin suggested hopefully, sounding like he was completely on board with forcing Jeongin to officially be their soulmate. He was definitely just following whatever he was feeling, because he wasn’t making any sense—he wasn’t on board with keeping Jeongin inside against his will but he was all for forcing him to be officially bonded with them.

“No,” Seungmin disagreed, face hard. “I’m not going to force him into something he doesn’t want.”

“It doesn’t matter what he wants,” Minho countered. “This is about the future of the Kingdom. It’s bigger than him, it’s bigger than all of us.”

Seungmin knew Minho’s words were true, he was just stating the truth—but he felt a sudden weight in his heart, because what if it was true? That everyone was forced to be here because of him, because they were his soulmates. That they’ve all given things up, their lives mapped out in front of them.

“It matters what he wants,” Seungmin disagreed fiercely, because maybe it was too late for them. It was too late for them, so Seungmin could no longer fight for their freedom, but it wasn’t too late for Jeongin.

He wished it wasn’t too late for them, too.

He wished he could’ve told them that what they wanted mattered, too.

“Min,” Chan broke his silence, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “You know some of the Twelve have voiced their concerns. The Nobles are talking. With all that’s been going on, the Council is on edge. There are talks about the citizens starting a rebellion, you know they’ve been rather rancorous toward us lately. If they found out… If the wrong people find out—”

“The nobles are always talking,” Seungmin said tiredly, voice strained. “And there’s no proof of a rebellion. The reports have been showing an increase in satisfaction with the new public amenities in the works.”

“We can hide him,” Jisung suggested as he caught Seungmin’s eyes hesitantly. “No one has to know—no one would know.”

Seungmin could’ve kissed him right then and there, because of course he was on his side. He could always rely on Jisung. Jisung was taking his side even though Seungmin knew more than anyone that he had been so excited to meet Jeongin again; even though Seungmin knew that he was probably the one taking it the hardest—Jeongin’s rejection.

“But that’s what we’ve been trying to do, isn’t it, Sungie? Keeping him safe and hidden here. But he doesn’t want to be hidden, he wants to go home and forget we exist,” Changbin groused.

“We can send him home,” Jisung replied. “You know the staff are trustworthy, and they’re obligated to keep everything to themselves. Mr. Choi said that Jeongin hasn’t gone anywhere but here and his room, so that means fewer people have seen him. No one’s going to know that he’s ever been here.”

“He lives in Duskwood,” Hyunjin said dramatically, like he thought it was the worst place in the world.

“So?” Jisung retorted, unfazed. “You’ve never been to Duskwood. You don’t even know what it’s like there.”

“I don’t have to be there to know what kind of place it is,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “It’s one of the outermost villages. I should’ve known from what we—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Seungmin intervened before Hyunjin could finish. “We’ll figure something out. We can keep this to ourselves, no one would know who he is as long as we do that.”

“We can certainly try,” Minho said dryly. “Maybe it could work, for some time. But what if it doesn’t? What if someone finds out, somehow? The aftermath won’t be pleasant.”

The room went suspiciously quiet at that.

Seungmin turned to Chan, because he was the Crown Prince, but Chan was their leader. He was the one everyone listened to when no one wanted to listen to each other, “You can’t possibly agree with this, hyung? With forcing him?”

Chan looked uncertain. He didn’t want to force anyone, but he couldn’t deny that letting Jeongin go poses a risk to their safety, which was something he took seriously. Jeongin lived in Duskwood, for fates’ sakes, it was one of the outermost villages, bordered by the Nightshade Forest. Not to mention the rumors he heard about the villages further from the capitals, where there are more violence and lawlessness.

Seungmin glared at Chan, feeling betrayed. “We’re not forcing Jeongin into anything and that’s final,” he stated. “You know I’d never say this, but I’m the prince. I have the say in this. If things go wrong, I’ll take the responsibility, I’ll take the blame,” he continued firmly. “If he doesn’t want to be with us, if it’s Felix he wants to be with, then that’s what we’re going to give him.”

“Minnie—” Chan started before his face went blank.

Everyone froze, their faces baffled as if Seungmin had just taken a bucket full of ice-cold water and thrown it on their faces. Everyone but Minho, of course.

“Wait, Felix?”

 

---

 

Jeongin was pacing in Felix’s room when he arrived, his eyes a little crazed, like he had been losing his mind. “Hyung!” he exclaimed in relief when Felix came in, practically spilling out words before Felix could even react. “What happened? Did something happen? I—It’s over, hyung. There are guards everywhere! And those damned gates are taller than my house—how are we going to get out of here?”

“In—“

“I can’t do this, hyung. I don’t want this. How am I… I can’t stay here! What about the walls? What about my dad? He’s been… he’s been saying that his back hurts lately, and for as long as I’m gone, he’s got to work on the fields all alone. I don’t even know how long I’m gonna be here! They don’t even know! I—”

Reaching out, Felix gently cupped Jeongin’s face. “Hey,” he said softly. “You need to breathe.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened comically and he tensed for a second so Felix thought he overstepped. He was just going to pull away when the younger brought his own hands up and held Felix’s hands in place, squeezing his eyes shut.

Felix just stood there dumbly as he stared, because sure, he had been with Jeongin when he cried, but he never really saw him. He was always hugging him, and Jeongin would bury his face somewhere, safe from prying eyes. So for the first time, Felix sees.

He saw how Jeongin’s lips were trembling, he saw him pressing them tight like he was trying to suppress his emotions. He watched as Jeongin squeezed his eyes tight like he didn’t want to let the tears go, he saw the slight dampness surrounding his eyes. Felix saw how rigid his expression was, the heavy rhythm of his breath as he tried to steady himself.

It was a little too much, because now Felix felt like crying, too.

He did this to him.

If he didn’t push Jeongin to write his soulmates, he wouldn’t be in this position. He would still be in Duskwood with Wooyoung and San and his parents, he would smile his carefree smile as he told Felix about his day, about the harvests, about his parents.

He wouldn’t be standing in front of Felix looking so scared and hurt and lost. He wouldn’t be locked in a palace as he worried himself sick about his parents.

I’m sorry, he wanted to say, but it would be useless. It would be worthless.

So Felix held himself together and closed his eyes as he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Jeongin’s, hoping that the gesture would convey it all instead: that he was sorry, that he was here with him, and that he didn’t know how but they would figure something out.

That he was precious to Felix and that he would do just about anything for him.

A small sob escaped Jeongin’s mouth and maybe, maybe this was how heartbreak felt like. His heart ached so much he wasn’t sure what to do.

They were so close now Felix was scared to open his eyes. He could feel Jeongin’s stuttering breath on his face, the tip of their noses brushing together.

They were too close, and if it was any other circumstances Felix would probably be flustered. But Jeongin’s hands were still on top of his, keeping them in place and anchoring them, and he was leaning toward Felix too.

Like he didn’t want Felix to move away. Like he wanted them to stay this way.

Tentatively, Felix ran his thumb on Jeongin’s cheeks. Faltering at how wet it was, his eyes flew open before he could do anything.

A face full of tears greeted him.

He moved before he could think, running his thumb over Jeongin’s cheeks in an attempt to wipe the tears away, but it seemed like he was just smearing it.

“Hyung, I,” Jeongin tried, voice cracking. He tried continuing, but the only noise that came out was a restrained sob.

It took Felix his all to fight back his own tears, because he couldn’t cry now. He had to keep it together for Jeongin.

He pulled Jeongin into his chest and held him tight. The younger put his arms around his waist and buried his face on his chest, crying quietly into Felix’s shirt, which was getting wetter by the second, not that Felix particularly cared.

He tried calming himself down as he held Jeongin while his friend cried it out, blinking his own tears away. Felix wished Jeongin would just let go and cry as much as he wanted, he wished Jeongin would stop crying silently, but he wasn’t entirely sure if his heart could take it.

One of his arms was wrapped around Jeongin while he used his other hand to run his fingers through Jeongin’s hair gently.

Felix wasn’t sure what he could say to his friend. Words of comfort would feel empty, because the truth was that Felix was powerless in front of the literal Heirs of the Kingdom. He tried, he spoke to them, but ultimately, it was all in their hands. Jeongin was probably thinking about running away, but was soon discouraged because it seemed impossible to pull off.

After a while, Jeongin's sobs gradually subsided. Felix couldn’t see, but it felt like he had stopped crying, although his breath was still stuttering.

There had to be something he could say—something he could say to reassure Jeongin, to make him feel a little better. There had to be something, but Felix couldn’t think of anything.

“You don’t have to stay with me,” came the muffled voice of Jeongin in between his stuttering breaths. “I’m stuck here,” he stammered as he tried to calm his breathing, “but you don’t have to be.”

Even as he struggled, even as terrified as he was, Jeongin was still kind. He still thought of Felix.

“No,” Felix managed to say around the imaginary stone that had seemed to lodge itself in his throat. “I’d like to stay with you, if you’d let me.”

Jeongin inhaled shakily, struggling to steady his breathing, “But I don’t want you to be,” he stopped as his voice cracked at the last word, “be a prisoner here—“

“I won’t be,” Felix muttered. “Neither will you. We can—we will figure something out, okay? I don’t know how, but we will. I told you that I won’t let you get through this alone, didn’t I?”

“But you don’t have to,” Jeongin said quietly, voice wavering. It sounded like he was going to start crying again.

“No,” Felix agreed. “But I want to. Would you let me, Innie?”

Jeongin let out a tearful laugh. “If I allow myself to be selfish for a second, I would have begged you to stay.”

Felix pulled away tentatively, wanting to look Jeongin in the eyes as he spoke. Jeongin let him, his gaze meeting Felix’s bashfully, looking like he was a little afraid.

“Okay,” Felix said, holding his gaze on Jeongin’s. “You won't ever need to beg, I want to stay with you, but… but you can be selfish with me, Innie, it’s okay. I want you to be selfish with me,” he added, and he meant it.

Jeongin let out a wet chuckle as he momentarily let go to wipe the tears off his face. “You can’t just say something like that, hyung,” he said softly. “Besides, I already am. I was being completely selfish when I asked you to come with me here.”

“No, you weren’t,” Felix disagreed.

“Yes, I was,” Jeongin retorted, voice stuffy.

“No, you weren’t. I’m older, so I’m right,” Felix interjected playfully.

Jeongin giggled at that. “That doesn’t make any sense, hyung.”

“Yes, it does. You just called me hyung, you proved my point.”

A smile bloomed on Jeongin’s face, a little out of place because his eyes were red and his face was a little puffy, but Felix could see a crinkle of amusement in his eyes, and the smile looked genuine, making Felix feel significantly lighter. “Sure, hyung,” Jeongin replied.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

Jeongin’s laughter made Felix feel a hundred times better in mere seconds. If Felix didn’t know he could see magic, he would’ve thought that his laughter was imbued with magic or something, but Felix could see magic and he saw nothing.

Wiping tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes, Jeongin cleared his throat. “Fates, I think I’ve cried more the past month than I have in my entire life,” he muttered exasperatedly.

It won’t stay that way if Felix had anything to do about it. He would make sure of it.

“C’mon,” Felix said as he pulled away, “let’s go wash our faces, yeah?” He suggested.

Together, the two went into the bathroom. Felix let Jeongin go first, leaning on the doorway as he absentmindedly watched Jeongin leaning into the sink and splashing water on his face. Felix hadn’t cried, but he had been blinking away tears the whole time. He could see how his eyes were slightly red in the mirror.

After Jeongin finished, he moved aside, letting Felix have his turn at the sink.

When Felix was done, Jeongin offered him a small towel, so Felix muttered his thanks and dried his face with it. When he turned to Jeongin, he was watching him guiltily. “What’s wrong?” Felix asked.

“Your shirt is all wet because of me,” Jeongin said sheepishly, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

Huffing fondly, Felix rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t care about the shirt, Innie,” he said. “Besides, you hate this shirt,” along with the rest of the shirts Minhyuk hyung gave me, he didn’t say.

“I don’t hate the shirt,” Jeongin argued.

“Mhmm,” Felix responded, sounding unconvinced. Jeongin shot him a playful glare. “Do you want to write back home?” Felix suggested. “I’ve been putting it off. We can do it together here, if you want?”

“Sounds good, hyung.”

Felix took a moment to take another one of the shirts Minhyuk gave him and change, because his shirt was a little too wet for him to just ignore. Plus, Jeongin would eye the wet spots every few seconds, looking guilty and embarrassed, so Felix decided he should change.

Afterward, he shared his writing supplies with Jeongin and together they sat at the small dining table, settling into a comfortable silence as they wrote their letters.

When Felix was more or less done with his letters to Wooyoung and San, Jeongin broke the silence. “I’m sorry I can’t show you around the capital, hyung,” he said quietly.

Felix looked up from his parchment in surprise. “It’s okay, Innie. We can do it some other time. Maybe after they caught whoever broke into the palace.”

“I can’t take you to the guild, too,” Jeongin continued sulkily. “And I was going to take you to my uncle’s, I wanted you to meet him. He’s really great, you’d like him,” he added.

“You will,” Felix assured him. “We’ll go to the guild and to your uncle’s together.”

Suddenly, Jeongin paused like he just thought of something. “Wait, hyung,” he began. “They said I can’t go out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t. I mean, you’re staying, but you don’t have to be stuck here like me. I bet they’ll let you go out whenever you want.”

Felix hummed as he thought it over. “Yeah, they have no reason to. But it wouldn’t feel right, for me to go around the town while you’re stuck here,” he admitted with a tinge of guilt.

“Hyung, it’s fine,” Jeongin insisted. “I’ve been to the capital multiple times. I mean, ideally I would have loved to show you around, but I’d feel horrible if I made you wait just because I’m not allowed to go outside,” he continued. “Fates, I can’t believe what I’m saying. It’s almost as if I’m five again and mom’s grounding me for not eating the vegetables or something.”

That was too cute to imagine, so Felix laughed brightly, endeared at the thought.

“We’ll see,” Felix said. He would really feel guilty if he went around without Jeongin, but it was an interesting idea. If Jeongin needed a nudge, maybe Felix could use it as an excuse—he could go explore the capital and make Jeongin spend some time with his soulmates. The whole situation was giving him a headache, but he hasn’t given up fully on making sure they all get along. Plus, he wasn’t sure how long they were going to stay. He had enough potions to last him a few months, but he’d like to think they wouldn’t be staying for that long.

Sealing the letter for Wooyoung and San—he wrote one for both of them—he took another parchment and started writing to Mr. and Mrs. Jung.

When he was done with that one, he continued with Minhyuk’s. Felix had to be a little vague with his friend, because he was still not allowed to say anything about Jeongin’s soulmate. He assured Minhyuk that they were both alright and they weren’t imprisoned in the dungeon or something. He also wrote about Jeongin’s concern toward his father, and wondered if Minhyuk had a servant or helper to spare. Felix told him that he still have some money left, and that he would use it to pay the person to help Mr. Yang with his fields.

Lastly, he wrote to Hayeon, thanking her for the potions and the writing supplies, and even the mailing money. Hayeon wasn’t interested in whatever was going on with Jeongin in the capital, so her letter was the shortest; Felix simply thanked her, informed her that they’d arrived safely, and asked how she and Byeol were doing. He also asked about the charms and the forest, hoping that there would be good news.

Satisfied, Felix folded Hayeon’s letter—the last one he had to write—and inserted it into an envelope before sealing it.

“Done, hyung?” Jeongin asked. When Felix nodded, he added, “Me too. You’ve made sure that you’re not giving out any information about them, right?”

“Of course,” Felix said, before he asked, “Do you know why we can’t do that, though? You can’t even tell your parents?”

Sighing, Jeongin replied, “Yeah,” he said. As for why... I... don’t know. I forgot to ask.”

Felix wasn't surprised. There was a lot to process, so it was a given. He ruffled Jeongin's hair affectionately, “That’s fine. You can ask them later.”

“I don’t really want to see them, though,” Jeongin said exasperatedly. “Not after what happened, not so soon. Tomorrow, maybe.”

“Right,” Felix agreed. “Wanna figure out how we can send these letters? The sooner we send them, the sooner we’ll hear back.”

Together, they gathered their letters and went outside, looking for someone they could ask. They didn’t have to go far, because a pair of guards was now stationed at the end of their corridor.

“Hello,” Felix greeted them with a hint of uncertainty, but with a smile. “We’d like to send letters to our family. Could you tell us how we could do that?”

“Certainly, Sir,” one of the guards answered politely. “If you’d like, we would be happy to pass the letters to the palace’s official courier for you.”

Exchanging glances with Jeongin, Felix blinked before he turned back to the guard. “That would be great, thank you. Should we also hand the payment to you?” he asked. He wasn’t sure how much it would cost, but it shouldn’t be too expensive. He wasn’t too worried about not having enough money because of Hayeon.

Felix handed his letters to him. Jeongin did the same.

“That would not be necessary, Sir,” the guard received their letters with a polite smile.

“It’s… free?” Jeongin asked incredulously.

"Indeed, it is," the guard confirmed. “All mailing fees will be handled by us.”

Well, Felix certainly liked that. Does that mean he could send as many letters as he wants? As often as he wants to?

Nevermind. He would feel guilty for doing so, especially because he wasn’t paying.

“Thank you, Mr…?”

“Kang, at your service.”

“Mr. Kang,” Felix beamed. “My name is Felix, this is Jeongin,” he introduced themselves. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for assisting us with the letters.”

“The pleasure is mine, Sirs,” Mr. Kang answered, his polite smile had melted into something more genuine. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“We’ll keep that in mind, thank you,” Felix responded. “Good day,” He headed back to his room, Jeongin trailing behind. “I can’t believe we don’t have to pay for letters,” Felix said when they were safely inside. “And Mr. Kang was so nice!”

“They weren’t there yesterday, were they,” Jeongin said warily. “There weren’t any guards in this corridor yesterday.”

Felix blinked as the realization dawned on him. “Oh,” he said brilliantly. “Huh.”

“They’re here to make sure we don’t run away, aren’t they…”

Felix didn't want to entertain that thought just yet. “No,” he disagreed even though he couldn’t know that for sure. “Maybe they got their orders late or something. We just arrived yesterday,” he reasoned. “And this is the palace, Jeongin-ah. There are guards everywhere.”

“Well, yes, but—“

The sound of knocking stopped Jeongin from saying whatever he wanted to say. For a few seconds, Felix and Jeongin just stared at the door blankly like they shared the same brain cell. Unfortunately, the person started knocking again, so Felix finally moved to open the door.

“Good morning, Sir,” Mr. Choi greeted. “I hope I’m not interrupting…?” he trailed off, glancing behind Felix.

“Good morning, Mr. Choi,” Felix replied. “And no, not at all.”

Mr. Choi’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “The Prince would like to see you, if you’re willing,” he said.

Felix blinked slowly, processing the words. “The Prince would like to see me?” he repeated, unsure if he heard that right.

“Yes,” Mr. Choi confirmed.

“I’m Felix?” Felix said rather dumbly, but he wanted to make sure Mr. Choi wasn’t mistaking him for Jeongin or something, because why would Seungmin want to see him?

“Yes,” Mr. Choi repeated, seemingly a little amused. “The Prince would like to see you, Sir.”

“I… okay,” Felix said helplessly, because what else could he say. He wondered what this was about. Was he finally going to get the consequences for overstepping, for speaking up? Felix gulped, nervous.

“Hyung?” Jeongin’s questioning voice broke through his thoughts.

Turning to face his friend and mustering a small smile, Felix spoke, “I’ll be back in a bit, Innie.”

Jeongin’s expression mirrored how Felix was feeling, because he looked just as anxious. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he seemed to decide against it, “Okay,” Jeongin said. “I’ll wait here.”

Felix nodded before stepping out of the room.

“The Prince is waiting in his study,” Mr. Choi said and Felix felt a little relieved, because the study didn’t seem like a place where they announce his punishment. Felix had always imagined that would happen in a throne room, since that’s how it usually goes in the books he had read.

Hoping for the best, Felix followed Mr. Choi to his doom.

 

---

 

Seungmin took a deep breath for the third time in the past minute, fighting the urge to bounce his legs out of nervousness.

He was seated behind his desk, the anticipation of Felix's arrival making him anxious.

Seungmin had decided that he needed to talk to Felix, to gauge him better, just in case he was really manipulating them all and was only pretending to be unaware of Jeongin’s feelings toward him.

He also decided to talk to Felix because he was curious about him. He was dressed as well as a noble would dress, but he didn’t come from any noble family; if anything, it was implied that he was a commoner, just like Jeongin. But Seungmin knew that a commoner wouldn’t be able to afford what he was wearing, so Felix was like a riddle dangling in front of his face, and Seungmin loved riddles—he loved solving riddles. He couldn’t take not knowing, not figuring things out, it always kept him awake at night.

Admittedly, he hadn’t thought things through, not completely, but he would figure something out. Maybe.

Hesitant knocks brought him out of his thoughts, and Seungmin shot up from his chair. “Come in,” he called out as he steadied himself.

Slowly and hesitantly, Felix pushed the door open, eyes immediately falling on Seungmin as he shifted anxiously. “Hi,” he said, before he seemed to pull himself together. “You wanted to see me, Your Highness?”

“Please, come in and have a seat, Felix,” Seungmin replied. He watched as the other man closed the door softly before coming over, slowly sitting down across him. Seungmin followed suit, taking his own seat.

“Thank you for coming to see me,” Seungmin began, his voice carrying a courteous tone. “Firstly, I’d like to apologize for how things have been, especially for Hyunjin’s outburst yesterday.”

“Please don’t,” Felix said quickly. “He already apologized, and I didn’t think he was doing anything wrong in particular, anyways. It’s only normal that you wanted privacy.”

Seungmin didn’t know what he expected, but he didn’t expect that. He didn’t expect Felix to be so… forgiving and thoughtful.

“It was still inappropriate, and you’re a guest of mine. So please, allow me to extend my apologies,” Seungmin said kindly, feeling a little amused at how mortified Felix looked.

Felix faltered for words before he eventually said, “I’m sorry, too. Jeongin hasn’t been… pleasant, and you all have been patient with him. I’ve also overstepped earlier, and I’m sorry. I don’t regret speaking up for Jeongin, but I should have been more considerate of you, too. You were right, I didn’t know what I was asking,” he added, looking dejected.

Felix was either very good at lying through his teeth, at manipulation, or he was actually sincere. Seungmin couldn’t tell, but he was leaning toward the latter. He felt himself relaxing a little despite the protests of the more logical parts of his brain.

“I think you said it well,” Seungmin told Felix. “I understand what you were trying to say. And… I agree,” he stated. He watched as Felix’s eyes widened comically, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I don’t want to force Jeongin into anything. He deserves the right to make his own choices.”

If the situation was less serious, Seungmin would’ve laughed at Felix, because he was gaping like a fish now. “Really?” he asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Yes,” Seungmin confirmed. “Which is why I wanted to talk to you. It’s… this whole thing is a little complicated, and Jeongin… It seems like we are unable to speak with him without it ending in arguments,” he said, before he quickly added, “and I understand. This is a lot, and some of the others are… they can be a little short-tempered at times.”

They both sat in silence for a moment, Seungmin’s words washing over them.

“I think this is something we have to settle sooner than later. We need to figure out where we go from here, a plan of action, but I think it would just end in another argument, and that’s hardly productive,” Seungmin continued. “So I wanted to ask if you’re willing to act as a mediator between us and Jeongin, at least until everyone’s calmed down?”

Blinking slowly, Felix repeated, “A mediator?”

Seungmin nodded, “Some of us get too heated when the subject is breached, and the same holds true for Jeongin. With both parties being impatient and unable to listen without lashing out, we won’t be going anywhere, so I thought that perhaps we could talk to you instead. You know Jeongin best, and I think you have his best interest in mind, so I trust that you will be able to speak for him. I will do the same for the others, although I want Chan hyung to be there as well,” he explained. “Between the three of us, I think we could all keep our minds and have a civil discussion. What do you think?”

Seungmin waited as Felix seemed to think it over, he watched as his brows furrowed as he contemplated the idea. For a second, Seungmin’s attention drifted, his eyes straying around Felix’s face, wondering if he could count his freckles if he leaned a little closer. Horrified at the thought, Seungmin cleared his throat—and subsequently his head—jolting Felix out of his thoughts.

“I…” Felix began slowly. “I’m honored you trust me, Your Highness,” he said, voice unfairly low and charming. A clearly insane part of his mind thought of asking Felix to repeat it again, to say Your Highness one more time in his stupidly charming, low voice. “But I have to refuse.”

Well, that was enough to shut down any insane thoughts Seungmin was having. He would’ve been glad if not for the fact that Felix just shot down his idea.

“Why?” Seungmin asked, frowning.

“It’s too much of an important discussion to have without Jeongin himself,” Felix answered, a faint smile gracing his lips. “The same with your other soulmates. I do… I do want the best for Jeongin. And I think it would be good for him to work through this with you. It would be good for you all to get along,” he continued sincerely. “I think you’d like him. And I think he’d like you, too.”

And what could Seungmin possibly say to that? What could Seungmin possibly say when he made so much sense, and when he said it all so sincerely, like he really believed that.

“I don’t know if that’s possible, Felix,” Seungmin sighed. He could imagine how it would go, it would probably start off okay at first, but he just needed to count the seconds and someone would snap.

“I think it’s possible,” Felix disagreed softly. “Maybe we can go about it in a different way,” he suggested.

“What way?”

“Instead of talking about what you want, we can talk about why you want it, we can talk about the concerns behind it,” Felix said. “So instead of saying ‘I want you to stay inside the palace’ you can tell him more about why. I know that you’ve told him about the break-ins and about the attacks, but… I feel like there’s more to it?”

Seungmin stayed quiet at that. There was more to it.

“You can help him understand why your safety is important, you can help him understand why it’s important to you. I know that it’s important to the Kingdom, but I think it’s important to you, too. To each of you. Help him understand why,” Felix continued tentatively. “And instead of saying ‘I want to go home’, Innie can tell you about why it’s important for him to go home. About his worries and concerns related to that. I think… I think it would be a little easier to understand each other that way, to empathize.”

“That’s…” Seungmin trailed off, trying to find an argument, something that could convince Felix to go with his plan instead. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” he conceded.

“Really?” Felix asked, eyes sparkling hopefully. It was a little endearing.

Seungmin swallowed, “But it still might not work,” he added. “One of them might snap and leave the room, and we’ll be back at square one,” he sighed. “I know you can calm Jeongin down, but—“

“Me?” Felix asked, clearly puzzled. “You want me there?”

Seungmin paused. He thought it was obvious. “Yes, of course I want you there, Felix.”

Felix appeared baffled by that notion. “But it’s… I…” he took a steadying breath, “You don’t want privacy?”

Seungmin gave him a rueful smile, “I think it’s a little too late for that,” he said. “Besides, Jeongin said that he would tell you everything afterward, so it’s pointless.”

“I can talk to him,” Felix offered quickly. “I think I can convince him, he’d understand, you don’t need to tolerate me being there just because—“

“I want you there too,” Seungmin assured, surprised to find that he indeed wanted Felix there. Somehow the thought of his absence felt wrong to Seungmin. “I think it would be best if you’re there.”

Felix gulped. “But the others…”

“Wouldn’t mind,” Seungmin said. “Trust me, they won’t. I’ll talk to them.”

Felix looked like he didn’t believe him, but he said nothing in response.

“Now we’ll just have to find a way to make sure no one gets too angry to the point where they storm out of the room before we’re done,” Seungmin sighed. Jeongin had done that multiple times now.

“You can lock the door?” Felix suggested with a grimace. “No one leaves before things are resolved, or something.”

That was a straightforward solution, but it was one that would work. It was so simple Seungmin found himself smiling in amusement.

“You think that would work?” he asked.

“The doors look sturdy?” Felix answered hesitantly. “I don’t think anyone could knock it down easily.”

His answer was so unexpected and out of context Seungmin let out a hearty laugh. He was asking if it would work emotionally, because he thought if Jeongin wanted to leave the room and the door was locked, he might go on a rampage or something.

“Right,” Seungmin said as he regained his composure, “Of course.”

Felix looked like he had no idea what Seungmin found so funny, but he gave him a smile. A confused, clueless smile, but it was a smile.

Returning the smile, Seungmin concurred, “Alright. We can give it a try,” he said.

Felix’s face lit up like Seungmin just gave him a mansion or something. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said.

Seungmin’s eyes softened, “Please,” he said. “Call me Seungmin.”

Felix seemed taken aback by the suggestion, but he smiled in response. “Thank you for listening,” Felix said sincerely. “And thank you for taking the time to talk to me, for being patient with Jeongin. You probably… you definitely have a lot of important things to do, things I can’t imagine, but you still took the time to do this. Thank you.”

Seungmin’s heart warmed at his words. “I’m the one who asked you to come, so thank you, Felix,” he replied genuinely. “I know you just wanted the best for Jeongin, and all of this might be confusing, but thank you for trying to understand.”

“I want the best for Jeongin,” Felix agreed. “But I want you all to be alright, too. I want him to be happy, but not at.. at your expense. I think there is a way, a middle ground, a compromise. A way to make sure that it works out for everyone involved.”

And maybe that was a little naive. Very naive. But Felix was looking into his eyes as he spoke and Seungmin knew that he meant it.

“Thanks, Felix,” Seungmin said quietly but sincerely, voice barely a whisper.

The smile Felix gave him was blinding, “Of course, Your Highness,” he said. Seungmin raised his eyebrows, so Felix rushed to explain, “I… You’re the future King,” he said helplessly. When Seungmin just stared at him, looking unimpressed, he continued, “I can’t just call you S… Seung…” He let out a small noise of frustration before completely giving up as he averted his eyes, “Your Highness.”

Fates, that was adorable.

Seungmin smiled fondly at Felix, “You can,” he said encouragingly. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Felix stared at him as if Seungmin just said something insane, “It’s a big deal,” he argued. “It… it sounds like a lot.” Well, he wasn’t wrong about that.

“Yeah, it’s a lot,” Seungmin admitted with a soft sigh. “Honestly, sometimes I’m not even sure if I can do this,” he confessed before he could stop himself, eyes widening as he realized what he just said.

Felix looked just as surprised as he was, and Seungmin faltered, searching for something to say, anything, because he was the future King of Suncrest and he didn’t just say something so… so bad. So unconvincing and weak. He was afraid to think of it, to think of how Felix must think of him now, but Felix’s expression melted into a gentle smile, “I think you’ll make a great King, Your Highness,” he said genuinely, like he really meant it. 

And Seungmin couldn’t find a drop of sarcasm or deceit in his voice, because he said it like he had an absolute faith in Seungmin. Like he had no doubt Seungmin was going to do well.

It’s not like Seungmin has never heard those words before. He had heard those words multiple times, from his mentors and teachers, from his soulmates.

But his mentors and teachers were probably just saying it without meaning it, and his soulmates were biased; if Seungmin woke up one morning and told them that he was going to be an acrobat, they would probably kiss him on the lips and told him he would be a great acrobat before going back to sleep.

But Felix wasn’t his soulmate, and while he had been soft-spoken and considerate, he had been completely honest with them. He had been completely honest with him.

Seungmin couldn’t believe that he had said that out loud. Sure, he had always felt that way, he had always doubted himself. His soulmates knew him so well they definitely knew too—judging from how they always take the chance to reassure him that he would be a great King in the future—but he never admitted it out loud.

He wasn’t sure why he did just now, in front of Felix, a man he barely knew.

His soulmates were his equals, they were going to lead the Kingdom alongside him in the future. He wasn’t thinking of Felix as someone lesser than him, but it was impossibly easy to admit that out loud in front of him that Seungmin had done so without realizing. Maybe it was because he wasn’t one of his soulmates. Sometimes, it could be hard to admit things to the people who mean the most to you. Or maybe it was his kind eyes and this weird feeling in Seungmin’s chest, something was telling him that Felix was safe.

Seungmin had no idea.

If Jeongin was in love with anyone, Seungmin was glad it was Felix. He couldn’t imagine anyone better, anyone more deserving.

It stung, being so blatantly rejected by the soulmate he had been wondering about his whole life, but perhaps, it wasn’t unthinkable.

Perhaps, it wasn’t so hard to understand.

Because sitting of him was Lee Felix, a man so sincere and thoughtful Seungmin could feel his own walls crumbling—the walls he built around him to keep himself safe, safe from everyone other than his soulmates.

In front of him was a man so caring and loyal, soft-spoken and kind and so stupidly beautiful.

Perhaps…

Perhaps Seungmin could understand.

Notes:

i’d like to state that seungmin is not in love 😂 he’s just… what do you call it… you know when you like someone but then you found out that they like someone else, so you want to hate this person because how dare you make them like you!! but then you talked to this person and they turned out to be wonderful and you can’t help but think of course they like them, they’re perfect? yeah, seungmin feels that way, more or less lol

as always, the next chapter will be up in a week unless i finish earlier (or later). i hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 15: The Princes

“I’m worried about Seungmin,” Hyunjin sighed.

After Seungmin declared that he was going to talk to Felix and he wanted to do it alone, Hyunjin went back to his room to sketch, but his mind was all over the place so he gave up. A few minutes later, he found himself in their private living room. It seemed like someone else had the same idea, because Chan and Minho were already inside when Hyunjin came in.

“I know,” Chan replied, expression furrowed in worry.

“He’s been hard on himself lately,” Hyunjin added.

“He’s always hard on himself,” Minho commented, sighing.

Shaking his head slightly, Chan responded, “He’s been even harder on himself lately. What’s been happening isn’t helping, but I think he’s worried about his mom.”

They went silent at that. Seungmin was always worried about his mom.

“Do you think he means it, the thing about Jeongin?” Hyunjin asked, eyes flickering between Minho and Chan. “He really thinks we should let him go like that?”

“He’s pulling the prince card,” Chan pointed out. “He never does that.”

Minho let out a long sigh. “He’s serious. He’s made up his mind.”

“We all know the Twelve has been restless for a while now,” Chan replied, locking eyes with Hyunjin. “We know some of them have expressed their concerns, causing unrest. If the Lesser Nobles caught wind of it, things would be a lot more complicated. Even worse, we don’t know who’s exactly behind it. It would be easier if we do, we’d know who to watch out for.”

Hyunjin didn’t like it, but he knew Chan was right. Hyunjin bit his lips as he fidgeted anxiously. “Do you want me to pay my parents a visit, hyung?” he asked, resigned.

Chan blinked, seemingly surprised at the suggestion, before his expression melted into a gentle smile. “You know I won’t ask you to do that, Jinnie.”

It was probably selfish; it was definitely selfish, but Hyunjin was glad to hear it. He exhaled audibly, a breath of relief escaping him, “Oh,” he whispered. “Okay.”

He hated visiting his parents, but he would do it for his soulmates in a heartbeat. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be miserable, though—he would be miserable every second he was there.

“I think we should really attend the next Council meeting,” Minho suggested firmly. “Even if it’s not all of us, some of us could go. It would be good, we’d be able to gauge the current situation better.”

“You know we’ve been pushing for that for a while now, Min,” Chan ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “The King’s not budging.”

Hyunjin knew that, and he was sure Minho knew that as well—they all knew it. If Hyunjin was being completely honest, he wasn’t particularly passionate about attending the Council meeting, he would gladly spend his entire life without attending the dumb meeting, but it was important for Seungmin. It was important for them. 

“We don’t even know the gentries and sages’ stance on us,” Minho protested, his voice tinged with exasperation. He leaned back on his chair like talking about it was draining his energy. "It's only the matter of time until the Lesser Nobles hear about the Twelve's sentiment. And you know if the Lesser Nobles heard of it, the whole Kingdom would too."

“We’ll figure something out,” Chan said in response. “We have to.”

“If anyone finds out that Jeongin is our soulmate and he had rejected us…”

“Don’t,” Minho warned. “I don’t like it, but we can be smart about this. Hyung’s right, we can figure something out.”

Hyunjin still thought that it would’ve been easier to get Jeongin to be officially bonded with them—it would be safer. The law was on their side. If there was one thing he hated more than politics, it was the thought of his soulmates getting hurt, the thought of them being in danger.

Before they found him, he spent his life hating everything; hating life. He spent his whole life being a trophy to his parents, an asset to be shown at parties and social gatherings, a puppet whose thoughts and wants never mattered.

But then they found him, and he hated it at first because his parents were delighted. Whatever delights them, he hates. But if being the soulmate of the Prince meant that he could get out of their house, away from his parents’ clutches, he was willing to put up with it.

Hyunjin didn’t think he would end up loving them, but of course he did, because how could he not?

And perhaps Hyunjin would do anything to keep them safe.

 

---

 

Maybe letting Felix meet Seungmin was not a good idea. Maybe Jeongin should’ve asked to come, because he had no idea how long it’s been, but it felt long enough. It felt too long, and Felix was still gone.

What if Seungmin did something to Felix?

Should Jeongin go look for him? He didn’t want to see Seungmin or any of his soulmates for the rest of the day, but Felix was more important.

With a new resolve, Jeongin stood up and shuffled towards the door, pulling it open.

He didn’t get to step outside, because someone was already there—it was Mr. Kang, looking as startled as Jeongin was with one of his hands raised like he was going to knock on the door but didn’t get to.

“Mr. Yang,” He started, “The Prince is requesting you to remain in the room.”

That was not something anyone should say to Jeongin. Not after what just transpired not even a few hours ago.

“What?” Jeongin asked, voice harsh. “You can’t keep me here. What’s going on? Where’s Felix? Start talking, or—”

“Mr. Lee is safe, Sir,” Mr. Kang hurriedly reassured. “There has been an unexpected turn of events. The Princes have come unannounced.”

“The Princes?”

“Prince Byungho and Prince Byungjoon, cousins of Prince Seungmin,” Mr. Kang explained. “Prince Seungmin has requested that you remain hidden in your room.”

Technically, this was Felix’s room, but Jeongin supposed it doesn’t matter.

“But what about Felix hyung?” he asked, anger dissipating into worry.

“Mr. Lee is expected to return shortly,” Mr. Kang said patiently. “He is safe.”

If it were any other circumstances, that wouldn’t be enough to assure Jeongin, but he was clearly out of his depth now. The others were pretty insistent on keeping the fact that he was their soulmate a secret—a sentiment Jeongin shared very passionately—so he should probably listen to Seungmin this time. Felix would probably be back soon and they can both hide in his room for the rest of the day, preferably.

“Okay,” Jeongin said as he reluctantly took a step back. “Thank you, Mr. Kang.”

The guard gave him a polite smile and told him to lock the door. Jeongin complied, closing and locking it from the inside.

He hoped Felix would come soon.

 

---

 

Felix trailed behind Mr. Choi as he absentmindedly thought about the conversation he just had with Seungmin. He was so glad that Seungmin seemed like a really kind person, and that he wasn’t planning on forcing things on Jeongin. Seungmin was nicer than Felix expected.

Felix couldn’t wait to tell Jeongin about it. It didn’t mean that the whole issue had been resolved, but it was something. The Crown Prince himself was on their side, and he was willing to compromise.

He wondered if it would work; he wondered if they would be able to find a middle ground.

He hoped they will, because he wasn’t sure what he was going to do if they don’t. He wanted things to work out for Seungmin and the others, too.

Maybe he should also look into ways to escape the palace? It wouldn’t hurt to be prepared… Seungmin was nice, but Felix wasn’t sure if the others shared his sentiment on this matter.

“I don’t understand why I can’t do that,” a voice said petulantly. “It’s hardly fair that they get all the best horses, the ones that I want. Their horse riding skill is—”

“Good morning, Your Highnesses,” Mr. Choi had come to a stop as he greeted them, head bowed respectfully. Felix realized that a little too late he almost ran onto him, but thankfully he managed to stop himself before he did.

Your Highnesses? Felix thought as he quickly mimicked Mr. Choi, bowing his head respectfully. He didn’t dare glance at whoever was standing in front of Mr. Choi.

“We’re here to see Seungmin,” another voice said.

“The Prince is—”

“Who’s this?” the first voice interrupted, and it took Felix a few seconds to realize that he was referring to him.

Fates. What was he supposed to do now? He should probably lie, since Jeongin said that they hadn’t told anyone about Jeongin, so he can’t exactly say that he’s here to accompany him. Felix wished he asked Seungmin about it, but it was a little too late now.

“This is Prince Seungmin’s Guest,” Mr. Choi answered for him. It was vague, but Felix would take it. Now that he thought about it, did the staff know about Jeongin, that he was Seungmin’s soulmate? Jeongin did say that they hadn’t told anyone, so that should include the staff.

Felix maintained his slight bow, his anxiety increasing as the situation unfolded. He didn’t want to move in hopes that if he stayed as still and quiet as he could, they would forget that he was here. It worked with some of the animals he stumbled into in the forest, maybe it would work here, too.

He hoped they’d leave it at that, that he’s just Seungmin’s guest.

“What’s your name, pretty boy?” the first person asked coyly, breaking his hopes and dreams.

Slowly and hesitantly, Felix straightened as he finally let himself look at the people in front of him. Mr. Choi had shifted to the side after the first person asked about him, so he had nothing to hide behind.

“Lee Felix,” Felix replied nervously, but his voice was steady. “It’s an honor to meet you, Your Highnesses,” he added politely, hoping his response was appropriate.

If they’re called your highnesses, they must be of the royal family, right? Or maybe they’re soulmates of the royal family?

The first seemed to scrutinize him, “Ah,” he muttered eventually, like he just figured something out. “Those bastards.”

Those what? Felix wondered, perplexed at the remark.

“Words, Byungjoon,” the other man uttered a sharp warning.

Byungjoon, Felix noted the name mentally.

“Oh, please, brother,” Byungjoon rolled his eyes. “They’ve always insisted that they’re not interested in this kind of thing, acting like they’re better than all of us. They’ve been lying! They’ve got themselves a flower boy,”

Flower boy? Felix thought, confused. Like a gardener? 

“A pretty one, too. And with manners. Why do they always get the good stuff?” Byungjoon scoffed before turning to Felix, gaze lingering on him, contemplative. “I like you. Would you be interested in doing business with me?”

So he was referring to Felix when he said flower boy? Felix’s mind was reeling. He wasn’t sure what made Byungjoon think that he was a gardener, because he was dressed like a noble, wasn’t he? Sure, he did grow flowers back in the forest, especially the ones that can be used for potions or food. He didn’t think that it was apparent in… in anything, really. In his hands, maybe? He doubted it. Was he offering him a job as his gardener? The caretaker of his flowers? Or did he think Felix’s got his own flower shop, and he’s interested in purchasing some?

Felix's mind raced as he struggled to find an appropriate response. He wasn’t sure how to answer so he faltered, mouth gaping as it tried to form words that his mind couldn’t think of.

“Byungjoon,” the brother interjected sternly. “You shouldn’t—”

Felix didn’t know who Byungjoon’s Brother was called, but he would like to know his name so that he could thank him, at least in his mind. Thanking him out loud might be awkward.

The brother didn’t get to finish, because Felix heard footsteps behind him and when he turned, Seungmin and everyone else were approaching, along with several royal guards. It was then he realized that Byungjoon and his brother came with their own guards trailing behind them as well.

Felix noticed Mr. Choi moving, stepping aside to clear the path for Seungmin and the others. Felix followed his lead gratefully, glad that the attention wasn’t on him anymore.

“Good morning,” Seungmin greeted. “To what do I owe the surprise?” he asked dryly, sounding like he wasn’t all that glad to see them.

“Ah, cousin,” Byungjoon turned to him with a sly smile. “I’ve missed you, so I’ve come to see you.”

“You just visited last week,” Changbin pointed out.

“Now, now, Changbin,” Byungjoon smirked. “You don’t have to be that happy to see me.”

“We’re overjoyed,” Hyunjin said flatly, looking like he was far from feeling overjoyed. “And that’s Changbin hyung for you.”

Byungjoon turned to Hyunjin, eyebrows raised, seemingly unimpressed.

This whole passive-aggressive thing was reminding Felix of how Jeongin’s first conversation with them went. Maybe they’re much more alike than they thought. Felix would very much like to excuse himself from this one, but he was still going with his plan of being as quiet and still as possible, since he couldn’t see how he could get out of there without anyone noticing.

“Mother wanted Byungjoon to spend less time with his friends,” the Brother explained quickly. “So I thought I’d bring him here instead. You know she likes it when we spend time with you. I hope we haven’t come at a bad time.”

“Not at all,” Chan spoke up, trying to smooth things over. “It will be lunchtime in about two hours, we can all eat together.”

Felix saw both Minho and Hyunjin send a dirty glare toward Chan at that. He hoped Byungjoon and his brother didn’t see it, but if Felix could see it, they probably could, too.

“That sounds wonderful,” Byungjoon’s brother agreed as if he didn’t notice it at all. “Thank you.”

“Anyways,” Byungjoon started again, and somehow Felix had a bad feeling about this. Or maybe, Felix just had a bad feeling in general whenever Byungjoon speaks up. He had a feeling they don’t like each other that much, judging from the way Changbin was glaring daggers at him. Hyunjin and Minho were glaring too, but it’s less obvious. “You’ve never told me that you finally decided to give it a try, dear cousin.”

“Give what a try?” Seungmin asked tiredly.

“Perhaps it wasn’t very smart of me to offer you the girls. You clearly have your preferences,” he said as he eyed the others, Changbin in particular, pointedly.

“Byungjoon,” Seungmin said, losing his patience. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The flower girls,” Byungjoon rolled his eyes like didn’t believe Seungmin at all. “I see that you’ve got yourself a flower boy. A pretty one, too,” he said before he turned his attention to Felix, which was just great. “Admittedly, it’s not something I’ve tried before, but perhaps I should give it a try. Would you be interested, Felix?”

Seungmin’s head snapped towards him so fast that Felix thought he was going to break his neck. Felix’s eyes flickered toward Seungmin for a second before they went back to Byungjoon, he gave him a confused smile, wishing that he could do magic just once in his life so that he could disappear or something, because he had no idea how to answer and how to lie. He wasn’t sure if Byungjoon wanted him to work as his gardener—which he could do—or if he wanted to buy some flowers from Felix, which he couldn’t do. Maybe he could do the second one if Seungmin lets him pick some flowers from his gardens and pretend that they’re from his nonexistent flower shop.

“He’s not a flower boy,” Seungmin said quickly—Seungmin spat, really—sounding like he was horrified at the idea.

Felix was indeed, not a flower boy, but he felt like Seungmin didn’t need to be that horrified. Felix was great with plants, flowers or not. And he’d make a good flower shop worker? Staff? Florist?

“Is he not?” Byungjoon asked, sounding genuinely confused. Frowning, he glanced at Felix before his attention went back to Seungmin. “Then who is he?”

Felix would like to state that he didn’t dig any grave here, if there was any digging it was all Seungmin.

Felix wouldn’t have minded pretending to be a flower boy; he could definitely pull it off if a flower boy was really just a gardener. Maybe they will even pay him for taking care of the flowers, and he could use the money to pay whoever was going to help Mr. Yang with his fields.

It would probably be quite complicated if a flower boy was a florist, because he had no flower shop. Felix hoped it was the first one. Working as a gardener would be quite enjoyable, certainly better than spending his days doing nothing at the palace.

 

---

 

Jisung wished they had the insight to ban any visits, but they didn’t exactly think that Jeongin came to reject them like that. Besides, Byungho and Byungjoon visited them once a month—which was already too much, if Jisung could say so himself—and they just came last week. Other than the two, they barely get any other visitors, sometimes their parents would come, mostly Jisung’s Father and Chan and Changbin’s Mothers, but they never came unannounced out of respect for Seungmin, the literal Crown Prince.

No one comes unannounced.

But now Byungho and Byungjoon were here, and Felix was unlucky enough to stumble into them. Jisung had to think fast, he needed to find a reason, a lie—a cover for Felix, because they couldn’t know about Jeongin.

“We met recently,” Jisung spoke before anyone could. “I fell and hurt myself when I was strolling around the market a few weeks ago, and Felix helped me. We’ve only been able to invite him now, to officially express our gratitude,” he explained with a practiced smile.

The Brothers’ attention turned to him, and Jisung knew that Byungjoon was going to say something unpleasant even before he opened his mouth.

“Of course,” Byungjoon responded with a smile, it was a normal smile but Jisung would bet that it was meant to be a mocking one. “It’s always you, isn’t it, Jisung? Your inability to stay upright is fascinating, as always.”

See? There you go.

Jisung felt Minho surging forward, and he didn’t need to look at his face to know that he was ready to say equally unpleasant things to Byungjoon. Jisung was thankful, he’d have kissed him right then and there, but this wasn’t exactly the right time to start fights with the asshole. “You’re—”

“Would you like me to escort you to the stables, Your Highness?” an unexpected voice cut through the tension, startling Jisung out of his mind. He turned to him, to Felix, baffled. They all turned to him. “The weather is perfect outside.”

Stealing a glance at Byungjoon, Jisung watched as he blinked slowly before that coy smile of his was back on his face. “The weather is perfect today,” he agreed. “Let’s go.”

Felix gave Byungjoon a bright smile, but Jisung thought he could see a hint of relief there.

“I’ll see you later, cousin,” Byungjoon said to Seungmin, not even bothering to address the rest of them. With that, Felix, Byungjoon, and their guards started walking away—Byungho threw an apologetic look at Seungmin before he followed suit.

And Jisung… Jisung didn’t know what to think.

“Did he just…” Minho trailed off.

“Save me from a lot of headaches and save you from having to make an official visit to Redmont to apologize? Yes. Yes, he did,” Seungmin said with a half-hearted glare.

Minho raised his eyebrows, “I wasn’t going to say anything bad.”

Changbin snorted, “Oh, please,” he said.

Jisung loved Minho, but he agreed wholeheartedly.

 

---

 

Felix listened as Byungjoon chattered about his horses. He was glad that Byungjoon loved talking, because that meant that Felix didn’t need to talk that much, if at all.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was thinking when he offered to escort the prince to the stables. With how the conversation had been going on, he felt that it would sooner or later, turn into an argument; he could see how Minho seemed ready to pounce, and he moved without thinking. Well, spoke without thinking.

He had overheard Byungjoon talking about the horses earlier, so he thought he could use that. Plus, Byungjoon said he liked Felix for whatever reason, so Felix thought that he would allow him to escort them to the stables.

He was just glad it worked. To top it off, Byungjoon was content on talking about himself, which helped Felix rather immensely. He listened with interest as he told him about how he first learned horse riding when he was six. Felix listened as Byungjoon told him about his first horse who was still one of his favorites now. Byungjoon was listing the names of his best horses when they arrived at the stable.

Felix watched as Byungjoon got the stable hands running around to get the horse of his choosing all prepared and ready—a beautiful dark brown horse called Kkum.

“Now, let me show you the art of horseback riding at its finest,” he said with a wink before he went.

Felix watched as Kkum started galloping around the arena. He knew nothing about horse riding, but he could see how graceful Byungjoon’s riding was. It was almost as if he was moving as one with Kkum.

“I’m sorry for my brother,” a voice startled Felix out of his mind. It was Byungjoon’s brother, Felix didn’t even know how long he had been standing there next to him. “It was inappropriate of him to assume that you are a… flower boy.”

Blinking owlishly as his mind struggled to work, Felix stammered, “It’s alright, Your Highness, I don’t mind at all.”

The brother grimaced. “No, that was inappropriate. Ideally, I would want him to apologize himself, but he’s a little… stubborn,” he said as he redirected his attention toward his brother.

“Really, it’s alright,” Felix insisted. Wanting to steer the conversation onto lighter subjects, he asked, “Do you enjoy horse riding as well, Your Highness?”

The brother turned to him, surprise apparent on his face. “Me?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “I’m not really good at it. Byungjoon is much better.”

“Oh,” Felix said quietly, wondering what that’s got to do with enjoying it. “You don’t enjoy it?”

“I…” the brother trailed off, seemingly unsure. He turned to look at his brother again, eyes distant. “I’m not very good at it,” he repeated quietly.

That wasn’t what Felix asked at all, but he could see how withdrawn the prince was, so he hurriedly responded. “What’s something you like doing then? Something you do in your free time?”

After a contemplative pause, the prince spoke up, “I like reading,” he said shyly.

“Really?” Felix asked, pleasantly surprised. “Me too!” he added, his excitement bubbling over. He couldn’t help himself, he finally found someone who loved reading! Well, he said he liked it, but it’s the same thing for Felix. Jeongin read very occasionally—very rarely—and Wooyoung and San never showed any interest in it, so Felix was thrilled.

“Really?” Byungjoon’s brother sounded just as surprised, but Felix could see the corners of his mouth going up. It took Felix everything not to ask his name, because it might be offensive, that he didn’t know a prince’s name.

Felix nodded eagerly, and he started telling the brother about how he used to spend a lot of his time reading. He asked about his favorite type of books to read, and he was ecstatic when the brother said fiction after economics and history. Felix never read any history or economics books, so he was glad that the prince enjoyed fiction as well.

Felix started asking the prince about his favorite fiction books and the prince was in the middle of telling him about this murder mystery book when Byungjoon approached them.

“What do you think, Felix?” he asked expectantly.

It took Felix a few seconds to figure out that he was probably asking his opinion about his horse-riding skill. “My knowledge of horsemanship is rather limited,” he started, more like nonexsitent, but Minhyuk told him that admitting ignorance is never good in front of nobles, so he didn’t. “But I think you rode very elegantly, Your Highness,” he said sincerely.

Thankfully, Felix thought that was enough to appease Byungjoon, since his expression broke into a proud grin. “I’ll show you some more,” he said before he started barking orders at the equestrian instructor to get the hurdles out.

“Sorry about him,” the brother said, sighing exasperatedly. “He’s a handful.”

Felix smiled, wanting to agree because Byungjoon definitely seemed like a handful, but he was also the prince and Felix didn’t want to take unnecessary risks. “I’ve always wanted a brother,” Felix said. He thought of Wooyoung as his brother, but he wondered how his life would be if he had an actual brother. “Or a sister,” he added.

“I have both,” the prince said with a slight grimace.

“Sounds like fun,” Felix replied tentatively. It must be lively, at the very least. The prince probably never felt lonely.

“Not as fun as you’d think,” the prince replied. “But they’re family, I guess,” he added, sounding exasperated but Felix thought he could hear a hint of fondness, too. He must love them a lot, despite everything. He wondered what his sister was like.

They both ended up chatting some more about books as they watched Byungjoon go over the obstacles. Byungjoon would approach them occasionally asking for Felix’s opinion, and Felix would just praise him because what else could he do? He was really good at this though, so it wasn’t as if Felix had to lie, but he was starting to struggle to find a different praise every time he came over.

Thankfully, Byungjoon’s brother—whose name was still a mystery to Felix—was godsent as he stood up not long after, muttering that they needed to get going as he called out to Byungjoon.

“Are you not planning to stay for lunch, Your Highness?” Felix asked. He wanted them to stay just because he wanted to talk some more to the brother, but he should probably be happy about it because that meant Byungjoon wasn’t going to fight anyone.

“No, maybe some other time,” the prince said with a smile. “Where do you live, if you don’t mind me asking? I can lend you the book the next time we meet,” he offered. He was referring to the murder-mystery book that had piqued Felix’s interest. It sounded like a fun read.

“Oh, uh, I,” Felix said brilliantly. Right, he forgot that they told him they were just inviting him over because he helped Jisung or something.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer that,” the prince said kindly, looking a little disappointed. “I just thought that I could bring it for you the next time we meet.”

“That’s really generous of you, Your Highness,” Felix replied sincerely. “And that would be wonderful. I…” he trailed off, unsure what to say. Would it be okay to tell him he’s not from here, that he was from Duskwood? Would that give anything away? Would that endanger Jeongin? He had no idea.

“It’s alright, I get it,” the prince responded quickly. “You can write me, and maybe we can meet up somewhere. You haven’t told me about your favorite books,” he added hopefully.

Felix brightened up at the idea, that could work, right?

“That sounds wonderful, Your Highness,” he said cheerfully, glad that he could still potentially have his very first fellow book-lover friend.

“Excellent,” the prince replied, smiling.

Byungjoon finally came over then, complaining about how he wanted Kkum for himself because clearly the horse liked him better than Seungmin and the other boys—that was his words, not Felix’s—but he wasn’t allowed to. He even offered to trade one of his horses for Kkum, but his request fell on deaf ears.

Felix walked them to the entrance, their guards and one of Mr. Choi’s subordinates trailing behind them. Felix made a mental note to ask his name later. The man asked the princes whether they would be joining Seungmin for lunch, to which Byungjoon’s brother answered in negative. And then they asked if they wanted to see Seungmin before they leave, which, surprisingly, was answered in a negative as well. That was a little weird, didn’t Byungjoon say that he missed Seungmin?

Felix bid them goodbye with a pleasant smile. When his brother was distracted by Mr. Choi’s subordinate, Byungjoon inched closer and whispered quickly, saying, “If you ever need an extra income, you know where to find me,” he said. “You will be very well rewarded, you have my word.”

Felix was flattered he seemed to trust his flower-related ability that much, so he smiled brightly and thanked him. Felix found it a little endearing, how much Byungjoon seemed to like flowers, it was unexpected.

Following the other guards, he bowed his head as their carriage moved, letting out a breath of relief when they were far enough, almost halfway toward the gates.

“Mr. Lee,” Mr. Choi’s subordinate began, “The Prince and His Soulbond Heirs are waiting for you in the East Wing’s dining hall.”

“Oh… Okay,” Felix said before he remembered Jeongin. “But how about Jeongin?”

“He would be escorted to the dining hall, as well.”

Okay, so they’re all having lunch together, then? Didn’t Jeongin say something about not wanting to meet his soulmates for the rest of the day?

Dreading lunch despite his growling stomach, Felix nodded and followed the guard to the dining hall. He hoped lunch won’t be anything like breakfast. He really wanted a break from everyone being at each others’ throats.

 

---

 

Ragged breaths echoed through the damp, dark walls, trembling hands clenching into fists, pain swallowed in silence.

The open wound pulsed as if it was alive, dark veins branching out around it. The flesh surrounding it was inflamed and angry.

The air in the room carried a fetid scent of death and decay, of blood.

Each passing moment seemed to drag like an eternity, as the wound seemed to resist healing, a festering reminder of the ominous power that birthed it.

Face contorted in pain, the man squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep stuttering breath.

It seemed like it was going to take a while until he heals. He wasn’t surprised, but he was frustrated. He needed to preserve his energy, he needed to be patient.

He was going to see this to the end. Nothing can stop him.

Notes:

someone explain to felix that flower boys aren't gardeners (or florists) 😂 i hope i implied that well enough for everyone (everyone but felix lol)

sorry there wasn't much of jeongin and the rest of the boys in the chapter but it's because seungmin's family/the princes are important to the plot and i have to introduce them at some point.

i wanted to post this on wednesday but i'll be busy the whole day so decided to post early.
the next chapter should be up next week on wednesday as usual, unless i finish early (or late). hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 16: Talking It Out

To say Minho was worried was an understatement.

They haven’t figured out their plan of action and his absolute least favorite member of the royal family was there on their doorstep, so close to finding out about Jeongin’s existence. He hoped Felix knew enough not to reveal anything, because it’s all going to be a nightmare if he does.

“The Princes have gone home,” Mr. Choi announced, making Minho’s life significantly better.

“Felix?” Seungmin inquired.

“Mr. Lee is on his way here, so is Mr. Yang.”

Seungmin nodded gratefully, “Thank you.”

The guard bowed politely before he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

“Do you think he’s fine?” Jisung asked, worry etched on his face.

Minho didn’t need to ask to know that Jisung was worried about Felix.

Whenever Byungjoon comes for a visit, he would be very difficult. He would terrorize the staff and servants with his demands, nitpick at the tiniest details and complain about every little thing. Felix wasn’t one of their staff or servants but Byungjoon had figured out that he wasn’t a noble—not that it mattered because Byungjoon loved terrorizing nobles anyways, he loved terrorizing anyone he thought as beneath him, and that included them with the exception of Seungmin—and that meant he was going to get Byungjoon’s special brand of assholery. He could be particularly hurtful with his words.

Byungjoon seemed to think that being in the royal family meant that he wasn’t obligated to have manners. He wouldn’t even call Seungmin hyung, even though he was younger than him; content with calling him cousin. Of course, he was too good to call the rest of them hyung, always referring to them by their first names like the asshole he was. Minho absolutely loathed him.

“I hope he is,” Seungmin said, sighing. “I’ll apologize for Byungjoon.”

“You shouldn’t apologize for something clearly beyond your control,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “Especially when that something is Byungjoon. He’s despicable and it’s no one’s fault but his.”

“He’s my cousin,” Seungmin argued.

“Unfortunately,” Minho commented, tone laced with disdain.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Chan said warily. “He took Byungjoon to the stables. He’s always less unpleasant when he’s around the horses.”

“Less unpleasant might be too generous, hyung,” Hyunjin huffed. 

Minho agreed. Byungjoon was always extremely unpleasant, he was never less unpleasant. He was just about to say so, but the door swung open, and Felix walked in. He seemed wary, but Minho thought that he was always wary around them, so he wasn’t sure if Byungjoon caused it.

“Felix,” Seungmin greeted him. “Come have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the seat across him, right beside Jisung.

Minho watched as Felix’s eyes flickered to Seungmin, and it seemed like he relaxed a little before he walked over and took a seat, muttering a polite thank you, Your Highness.

“I hope you will forgive my cousin, Byungjoon,” Seungmin added hurriedly. “He can be—”

“Hyung!” They were once again, interrupted by someone pushing the door open. It was Jeongin this time, eyes frantic as he hurried toward Felix. “Are you okay?” he asked as he looked Felix over, like he was trying to check for any injuries or something.

Felix seemed confused for a moment before he seemed to come to an understanding, expression melting into a smile, “I’m alright, Innie,” he said brightly.

In Minho’s opinion, Jeongin looked like he didn’t believe Felix, but Minho saw a hint of relief in his expression. And then, Minho watched as Jeongin tensed as he finally registered their presence in the room. Slowly, he took the seat next to Felix.

“Are you okay?” Felix inquired in a soft, concerned tone. If the room wasn’t so quiet, Minho would probably miss it, but no one was talking but them now, so he heard it loud and clear.

“Yeah,” Jeongin replied just as softly, and Minho realized that this might’ve been the first time he heard him speak that gently. “Was just worried about you.”

“Sorry,” Felix muttered, sounding guilty. Minho couldn’t really see from all the way here, but he could see that Felix reached out, maybe to grab Jeongin’s hand under the table or something. The tension on Jeongin’s body seemed to bleed out at that as he started to relax, expression breaking into a small smile as he shook his head slightly.

Well.

If Minho had any doubts about who the person Jeongin was referring to yesterday, those doubts had just evaporated into the air. 

“I’m sorry that happened,” Seungmin said, steering their attention back to him. “We didn’t think anyone would come. We barely get any visitors. Byungho and Byungjoon would come once a month, but they just came last week, so we didn’t expect them to come,”

Both Jeongin and Felix just stared at Seungmin in silence, Jeongin seemed unimpressed while Felix seemed curious, like he wanted to ask a question, but he remained silent.

“Their visit brings me back to our current… situation. We need to come to an agreement,” Seungmin continued. “We need to find a middle ground, a compromise,” he said. “If anyone finds out about you, I’m afraid you won’t have any choice,” he added, turning to Jeongin.

“What do you mean?” Jeongin asked.

“It’s stated by the law that the soulmate of any member of the royal family is required to be officially bonded,” Minho spoke up when Seungmin took a little too long to answer, probably feeling guilty about it. Jeongin would probably take it badly, but it had to be said.

“…What?”

It wasn’t just Jeongin, even Felix was horrified.

“It won’t come to that,” Chan chimed in swiftly. “That’s why we’re keeping you hidden, why we asked you not to tell your family, and why we haven’t told anyone.”

The two turned to each other then, Jeongin’s eyes were wide and terrified like he was going to have a mental breakdown and maybe Minho was a little relieved that Seungmin said no when they suggested telling the King so that Jeongin would have to stay with them. He would do anything to keep his soulmates safe, but he wasn’t heartless.

In Minho’s opinion, Felix looked just as terrified, but it also looked like he was trying not to show it—like he wanted to keep Jeongin calm.

“I won’t force you into anything,” Seungmin hurriedly added, wanting to alleviate Jeongin’s concerns. “You have my word. I promise.”

Jeongin's stunned gaze shifted toward Seungmin, a mixture of surprise and gratitude etched on his features, like he hadn't expected such a response.

“We don’t want to force you into anything, but that puts us in a rather dangerous position,” Minho joined in, ignoring the betrayed look Seungmin was throwing him.

“I won’t be a vulnerability,” Jeongin asserted sharply. Whatever gratefulness Minho thought he saw was gone, replaced by a calm anger. “No one will tell anyone. I’ll be careful at all times and I will keep myself safe. I won’t be a vulnerability to you.”

“You’re not a vulnerability, Jeongin,” Chan placated.

“You’re not,” Seungmin agreed quickly. “I…” he said, trailing off. Minho watched as Seungmin’s eyes locked with Felix’s, the latter seemed to be staring at Seungmin pleadingly.

Seumgmin had not told them how his conversation with Felix went. The only thing they got out of him was Felix is a good person. I trust him. that’s it. Minho wasn't sure what he was going to do with that. 

“I’m scared,” Seungmin said quietly, Seungmin admitted—making everyone turn to him, varied expressions on their faces.

Minho, for one, was horrified.

Seungmin was the Crown Prince. Seungmin was one of his soulmates, one of his lovers, and they all knew each other so well; but they all have things they struggle with, things they don’t say out loud, things they don’t admit. Things that were hidden, unspoken of.

This was one of those things.

Seungmin would never say that he was scared. Even now, none of them knew why, but Seungmin would always snap whenever someone insinuated that he was scared. It was almost as if he loathed the word, the feeling. Minho had to learn it the hard way, because when he first came to the palace, during the period when he was still getting to know them, Minho had challenged Seungmin to a game of chess.

Seungmin would always say no. He always had other things to work on, other things to learn.

So one day Minho said it.

“Why? Are you scared you’ll lose?” he asked sweetly, tone mocking.

The room went absolutely silent at that. Chan, Changbin, and Jisung froze mid-conversation and they were staring at Minho like he just spat on the King’s face and told him that he was a fucking idiot.  

“I’m not scared,” Seungmin stated, voice quiet. He said it quietly, but Minho could see it in his eyes.  

Seungmin was furious.

Minho was just starting to realize that he might have said something wrong when Seungmin said that he would play with him.

They played and Seungmin destroyed him. He won, but he didn’t look happy.

Instead, he stared at Minho, gaze intense, and for a moment Minho thought that he was in big trouble.

“Minnie…” Minho wasn’t sure which one of them said it because he was too busy keeping himself calm and trying to figure out what was so bad about what he said.

Fortunately for Minho, Seungmin eventually averted his gaze. He stood up and stormed outside the room, leaving Minho puzzled and maybe a little concerned.  

They told him afterward, how Seungmin seemed to despise the word; how he was very sensitive about it. Even Jisung had no idea why. They’ve all tried to get Seungmin to talk about it multiple times, to open up about it, but it never worked. It would always end up in a fight.

When Hyunjin came a few years later, the first thing Minho did was pull him aside and warn him about it—more like threatened him about it, because while Minho enjoyed picking on his boys he understood that certain things might mean more to some people than the rest. Also because Hyunjin was an asshole through and through at first.

But Seungmin just said it, he said it in front of them all. He admitted it in front of Jeongin and Felix.

“When we said attacks on the palace are unprecedented, we meant that it never happened, at least, not in a few hundred years,” Seungmin paused, letting the gravity of his words register. “If they’re breaking in to steal something, it wouldn’t make sense to go for the palaces, which are heavily guarded. There are a lot of noble estates that would be a lot more realistic to target,”

“The fact that someone successfully broke into the palace and has not been caught is huge. It’s causing unrest here in the capital.”

Minho would have added a thing or two, but honestly, he was still caught up by the fact that Seungmin just admitted that he was scared.

“I’m supposed to inherit the throne from my parents,” Seungmin continued, eyes distant. “When my parents were coronated, the Kingdom was overjoyed. The same happened when my grandparents were crowned. When the heirs to the throne are crowned, the Kingdom celebrates,” he added. “But I’m not sure if the same thing will happen to me.”

“I’m the strange prince with too many soulmates and too little experience,” Seungmin said, looking up to catch Jeongin’s eyes. “In the eyes of the citizens, the representatives, the council... I’m just the kid who’s supposed to inherit the throne, and it’s true, I am,” he added, letting himself be vulnerable for a moment.

“Min—” Chan started, probably, definitely to disagree about how Seungmin was talking about himself.

“I wouldn’t have cared about my name,” Seungmin continued, not letting Chan interrupt. “I wouldn’t have cared about my reputation. But.. I have to. I need to, because if it gets too bad, then maybe a rebellion is not so far-fetched. Maybe a coup isn’t so hard to imagine.”

Minho hated how that sounded. He also hated how it was all true.

“The Kingdom has been in peace for hundreds of years. I don’t want that to change. A rebellion, a coup would end that,” he said. “You have your own life, and I don’t want to take that away from you. You have someone you’d rather be with,” Seungmin continued, glancing at Felix, who was listening patiently, eyes sympathetic. Jeongin didn’t miss it, and Minho watched as his eyes widened for a fraction, face flushing. “And no one should take that away from you. No one will take that away from you, not on my watch, but we need to find something that works for us all.”

A heavy silence covered the room.

“If anyone finds out that you’re our soulmate, and that you’ve rejected us… that you’ve rejected Seungmin…” Chan’s voice faltered for a moment. “Soulmates are held in a… different regard by royals, by nobles,”

“Soulmates are given by the fates. It’s regarded as a blessing, a birthright. Rejecting one’s soulmate is seen as rejecting the fates themselves. It’s why most, if not all nobles, only marry their soulmates,” Chan explained further. “As the heir to the throne, if the fact that you’ve rejected us gets out of there… they’re going to take it as us being rejected and forsaken by the fates.”

“If there wasn’t any actual coup planned, there will be,” Minho added when finally got his bearings, tone somber. “After all, who would want people who have been rejected by the fates to lead?”

“Those forsaken by the fates are regarded as the cursed ones,” Chan explained gently. “Not exactly leader material.”

As the weight of their words settled upon the room, Minho watched as Jeongin grew pale, but something else caught his attention. He saw colors drain out of Felix’s face, he looked paler than Jeongin. He looked absolutely terrified.

“We need you to cooperate with us,” Seungmin said. “Please.”

 

---

 

Jeongin didn’t know what he felt. Of course the rich have to hold soulmates in such high regard that the consequences of being rejected by one’s soulmate have to be blown out of proportion. A whole coup just because of that? Jeongin could never understand them.

But Jeongin wasn’t heartless. He felt guilty now that he saw the bigger picture, now that he knew the consequences they would have to face, the reasons behind their actions. He felt a twinge of guilt for his initial lack of understanding, for his inability to grasp the gravity of their situation.

What was the worth of his thoughts, his worries and concerns, in the face of coups and rebellions?

Jeongin had never felt less insignificant. He was a mere pawn in a game he had no idea the name of, a game with such huge things at stake, where his worth happened to be so big because of something that was out of his hands—because it was destined by the fates.

Jeongin was so tired.

“Jeongin?” a voice brought him back to the room.

They were all staring at him now, Felix was staring at him, worry etched on his face but his hand was in Jeongin’s, steady. It was then Jeongin realized that he had been squeezing Felix’s hand a little bit too hard during all that, but Felix didn’t protest, nor did he pull away.

“I didn’t know,” Jeongin said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Seungmin hurriedly reassured him.

The room went silent then. Jeongin knew that they were probably waiting for him to say something, but what could he say? Would it even matter? No matter what happens, Jeongin loses because he is just the son of a farmer. Even after Seungmin declared that he didn’t want Jeongin to be forced into anything, it meant nothing—because Jeongin would never take something if that meant other people would get hurt. And if he stayed, he would be miserable his whole life.

There was nothing for him.

“It’s okay, Innie,” Felix said, voice so quiet and low that it was only audible to him. “You’re important too,” he said, like he could hear his thoughts.

That’s just how he was, wasn’t it? His Felix hyung. He always had something kind to say, he always knew just the right thing to say.

And maybe right here in front of his soulmates, who were all important people, Jeongin wasn’t worthless. He mattered, too, because Felix said so.

He was still looking at Jeongin, eyes encouraging and empathetic. Jeongin had a feeling that he wanted him to speak, to tell them how he felt—to tell them his fears, just like what Seungmin did.

“I’m an only child,” Jeongin began eventually, reluctantly, slowly looking away from Felix. “I’m responsible for a lot of chores and I help my dad with work. He’s going to have to work all by himself as long as I’m here, and I don’t want that,” he explained, voice quiet. “Before you say anything, please don’t suggest they come here. I don’t want it for them, and they don’t want it. We love our life back home.”

The room settled into an uncomfortable silence as they seemed to process what he said.

“We can arrange something,” Jisung suggested, sounding hopeful. “Maybe we can arrange a helper for your parents?”

“Wouldn’t that be suspicious?” Changbin asked with a hint of skepticism. “A farmer with a hired helper? Is that common?”

“No,” Jeongin answered. “It’s not common at all.”

“We can have them pretend to be a friend of yours, perhaps?” Hyunjin suggested.

“A friend comes and stays to help my Father with the fields?” Jeongin sighed, voice tinted with frustration. Figures that they didn’t know or think about it. “Not to burst your bubble or anything, but we commoners don’t really have that luxury. Everyone’s too busy helping their own parents.”

“Oh,” Jisung muttered, seemingly disappointed.

“Actually, I…” Felix spoke up hesitantly, catching Jeongin’s eyes. “I mentioned it in the letter to hyung. I asked if he had anyone to spare, someone who could help.”

Now that was unfair, because Jeongin didn’t know how to feel. He was happy that Felix was thoughtful, and that he wanted to help, but he was upset because Felix was asking for that stupid Lee Minhyuk’s help.

“It’s not gonna be for free,” Felix added quickly. “I still have some leftover money from noona. It should be enough to cover the cost for a little while.”

“Hyung, no!” Jeongin replied, horrified. “It’s your money, you can’t spend them on me.”

Felix opened his mouth to argue, but he didn’t get to.

“You’re here because of me,” Seungmin stepped in, looking at both Jeongin and Felix. “We’ll handle the money. It’s the least we could do.”

Relying on the nobles’ money was something Jeongin would never thought he’d do, he never thought he’d stoop so low, but it was better than spending Felix’s money. The older had given so much for him, Jeongin could never ask him for more.

“See, they’ll handle it,” Jeongin said quietly, if not a little begrudgingly, only loud enough for Felix to hear. “I know you’ve got everyone something, but you haven’t got yourself anything. That’s not right, hyung. You should get yourself something, too.”

Felix stared back like he never thought of it, like it never crossed his mind, like he was fully planning on spending his whole wage on the people around him.

And then his face melted into a gentle smile and he whispered, “Thanks, Innie,” like Jeongin did something worth thanking for.

Like he wasn’t the one who was always there for Jeongin, like he wasn’t the one coming along with Jeongin all the way to the capital, like he hadn’t been there for Jeongin’s mental breakdowns and held him so tight so that he didn’t crumble, like Jeongin hadn’t dragged him to the whole mess that was his life, and now they were stuck in a literal palace and Felix wasn’t anywhere close to finding his uncle.

Like it wasn’t Jeongin who was supposed to thank him.

Chan cleared his throat, pulling Jeongin’s attention to him. “That sounds like a good solution for now. If anyone wondered, your family could tell them that Felix was the one providing the help. Would that make sense?”

It probably would. Every villager who had met Felix knew how kind he was, and he was always so eager to help everyone. They knew that he was working with the Sorcerer too, and she was known for being generous despite being antisocial, so everyone probably assumed that she’d pay generously. They could even lie and say that Felix was working with another Sorcerer or Magician here in the capital. It would make sense that he could afford to hire a field helper, since jobs in the capital pay higher than all the other villages.

“I think it would,” Jeongin muttered.

“Great!” Chan’s face lit up as he clasped his hands together. “In the meantime, we just need to keep you hidden here until everything settles down. Byungho and Byungjoon believed what Jisung said, right?” he asked, directing his attention towards Felix.

What Jisung said? Right, Jeongin still didn’t know what exactly happened while the Princes were here.

“I think so,” Felix replied hesitantly.

“They didn’t ask you anything?”

Felix seemed to think it over before he replied, “Prince Byungho asked where I lived.”

Jeongin watched as Chan turned to Seungmin, gazes locking as they seemed to have a silent conversation.

“What did you tell him?” Seungmin asked warily.

Felix shifted anxiously. “Well, I didn’t know what to tell him. I wasn’t sure if I could tell him I’m from Duskwood, so I said nothing,” he admitted. “He was really kind, though! He said it’s okay if I don’t want to answer.”

That was kind, if not a little strange. But it was better for Jeongin, so he wasn’t complaining.

“Okay,” Chan said slowly, unconvinced. “So you haven’t told anyone you’re from Duskwood, right?”

Jeongin watched as panic flickered on Felix’s face. “I… Yeonjun hyung knows,” he answered, sounding guilty. “And some of the other staff as well. Is… Is that bad?”

“The staff are fine,” Chan reassured quickly. “They’re obligated to keep things to themselves. Whatever happens within the palace won’t get out. But of course, we still need to be careful. What I mean is that we should really keep the fact that Jeongin’s our soulmate to ourselves.”

“Of course,” Felix hurriedly agreed.

Seemingly relieved, Chan offered Felix a smile. “Excellent,” he said. “We’ll figure out the rest later, I’m not sure if telling people you’re from Duskwood is a good idea, because if someone looks into it, they might find your connection to Jeongin. We’ll need to think it over,” he continued, catching Minho’s eyes.

Personally, this whole thing was giving Jeongin a headache. He expected the rich’s world to be full of lies and deceit, but he never thought he would be involved. He knew that it was partly because of him, but still, he wished he was never here.

“Did Byungjoon say anything?” Jisung asked curiously.

“He was mostly preoccupied with the horses,” Felix replied, a rather fond smile on his face.

“Right,” Jisung responded like he expected it.

“Wait, how did you know he liked horses at first?” Hyunjin asked, eyes narrowed, looking like he was suspicious of Felix.

“When we stumbled into them, he was talking about the horses,” Felix answered sheepishly. “I think he was saying something about how it wasn’t fair that you got the best horses?”

Scoffing, Changbin leaned back on his chair, “Of course he was.”

It seemed like they didn’t like this prince. Jeongin would’ve thought that they’d get along well, seeing that he was Seungmin’s cousin. But then he remembered his own cousin and how they don’t get along at all, so Jeongin guessed he could understand.

“He offered me a job,” Felix added tentatively, turning to Seungmin.

“A job?” Seungmin's brows furrowed in confusion.

“As a flower boy,” Felix explained.

Like a gardener? Jeongin wondered. That was a term he never heard before.

He wasn’t entirely sure if he was right, because Seungmin looked mortified. “What?”

“Would that be such a bad idea?” Felix asked warily, brows furrowed, sounding like he actually considered accepting the offer. “I thought it could work, and if anyone ever asks me I could just say that I’m working here at the capital as a flower boy. I have a job back at home, but I can’t really do it all the way from here so I think it wouldn’t be bad to have a temporary job while I’m here?”

Jeongin really thought that he must be missing something here, because the horror on Seungmin’s face was amplified with each passing second. Don’t get him wrong, Jeongin didn’t want Felix to work for any nobles, let alone any royals. But what he was suggesting could work. Maybe Jeongin could even work with him, and at least, Jeongin would have something to enjoy during his stay here. Something to remind him of home. They would make good gardeners, both of them.

“Or maybe I can work for you? If you need one,” Felix offered, sounding hopeful.

Chan started choking, on what, Jeongin didn’t know, because they weren’t eating or drinking. On his own spit, probably.

“I can do it,” Felix insisted, totally set on convincing them. “I used to do it a lot back home.”

“You used to do it a lot?” Changbin repeated, eyes widening and face contorting into something Jeongin couldn’t really place. A quick look around the table revealed that the others weren’t exactly any different, their faces in varying degrees of shock and horror. Seungmin looked scandalized, Hyunjin looked disgusted, Minho looked like Felix just told him that he was actually a mermaid or something, and Jisung was gaping like a fish out of water.

There was something incredibly off about the situation, but Jeongin didn’t know what.

Jeongin turned back to look at Felix just in time to catch him nodding eagerly, even though a hint of confusion lingered in his expression.

“Yeah. I’m really good at it, I promise. You can even test me, I can prove it,” he suggested confidently.

“Felix…” Chan started, sounding unusually high-pitched and breathless.

“I grow a lot of flowers back home,” Felix continued, sounding a little disappointed at their reaction. “Actually, not just flowers, but a lot of other crops. I’m good at it. Nothing ever dies or wilts on my watch,” he added, resigned. That was exactly what he said when he was trying to convince Jeongin to let him help out with the fields. Jeongin believed him, of course, but he didn’t want Felix to help. It was more than enough to have him chattering cheerfully while Jeongin worked on the field, it always helped him feel energized, so Felix was helping him already.

Everyone froze momentarily before there were confused blinking around the table, their expressions bewildered.

“Felix…” Seungmin started, looking a little flustered. “That’s not what being a flower boy means.”

Blinking slowly and looking utterly confused, Felix asked, “It’s not?”

“No,” Seungmin confirmed, looking around helplessly like he was begging for someone else to help him. He caught Chan’s eyes, and they both widened their eyes like they were debating and telling each other to say something.

“It’s…” Chan started, because apparently Seungmin won that debate. “It’s got less to do with plants and flowers, and more to do with… sexual relationships,” he said cautiously.

“What?” Jeongin snapped, because what the fuck.

“What?” Felix asked, sounding like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

The realization hit Jeongin like a physical blow. Those filthy, disgusting nobles. Jeongin had always known that something was terribly wrong with them, nobles and royals and the riches. They have no good bones in their bodies.

Besides, what happened to the whole ‘soulmates are of the fates and are blessings’ sentiment? Why would they have sexual relationships with people other than their own soulmate if that was the case? Nothing made sense, but nobles had never made sense to Jeongin, so it wasn’t all that surprising.

“Paid sexual partners,” Chan continued with a visible grimace. “That’s what flower boys and girls are.”

This was definitely something only the rich could do, commoners spend their money on things that actually mattered—like food and drinks and gifts for their loved ones. Only the rich would have the money and the idea to use money for something like that.

How could a literal prince come and offer someone he just met to be his paid sexual partner? Offered Felix to be his sexual partner? The thought made Jeongin seethe in anger.

“Oh fates,” he heard from beside him. Felix pulled his hand away and Jeongin watched as he buried his face in his hands. He could see how red his ears and cheeks were.

Jeongin would have offered a word of comfort if he wasn’t so speechless himself.

“Are you okay, Felix?” Seungmin's voice carried genuine concern.

Felix let out a semi-hysterical laugh as he slowly lifted his head, cheeks flushed, “I thought it’s like, a gardener!”

Chan cleared his throat and offered an awkward smile, “Yeah… It’s not.”

“I thanked him for the offer!” Felix said, scandalized. “I smiled and thanked him. I was flattered!” he added as he stared down at his hands like he just murdered someone and was now staring down at his bloodied hands.

“I’m sure it’s—”

Felix’s head snapped back up like he just remembered something, “I offered to work for you,” he added as he stared at Chan, voice high-pitched, sounding like he was going to pass out any second now.

Jeongin shared the sentiment, but he was too busy trying to get the words Felix and sexual relationship out of his mind now that his anger had died down, hoping that the heat that was creeping up his face was just something he could feel and not something that was visible for everyone to see. That was not something he was supposed to think of. He refused to get his mind there, because that would be his downfall. 

Now Chan was spluttering, “You didn’t know what it meant, it’s okay,” he hurriedly said.

“Yeah, it’s okay! Don’t worry about it!” Jisung agreed kindly, if not a little awkwardly. Felix's nervousness must've gotten to him or something. 

The reassurances were nice, but didn’t do all that much to Felix’s embarrassment. He slumped against the table, arms around his head like he was trying to disappear, “I’m so sorry,” he said, voice muffled.

“Really, Felix, it’s okay,” Jisung repeated from beside him as he watched Felix in sympathy. “We can all pretend that never happened, right?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Chan replied, elbowing the person beside him, which was Hyunjin. “Right?”

Instead of agreeing, Hyunjin laughed.

 

---

 

Hyunjin couldn’t help himself. It was the contrast between what he was feeling not even a minute ago and the sheer absurdity of the situation. He was angry and offended when he thought Felix had offered to be their paid sexual partner, which was offensive to him because he was supposed to be the person Jeongin loved, and he offered something like that so easily. Hyunjin thought that Jeongin deserved so much better than that, but it turned out that Felix thought flower boys were gardeners, and now he was all flustered and embarrassed while everyone else was trying to tell him that it was okay.

Hyunjin tried to hold it in, but Chan just had to elbow him and make his effort go down the drain, so he burst out laughing.

He cackled, really, a hearty and uncontrollable sound that echoed across the room. He laughed the way his parents hated it because they thought he sounded stupid and uncouth whenever he did. Hyunjin was pretty sure he surprised the whole room, he could see how Felix looked up in surprise, eyes wide, and hair a little tousled.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin said as his laughter died down. He wiped the tears away from the edges of his eyes. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise. It’s just… a little funny.”

For a brief moment, Hyunjin thought that Felix would snap and be offended, because he was just staring at him, mouth slightly open in surprise.

But then his face morphed into a genuine smile, and Hyunjin swore there was no way he wasn’t doing it on purpose, he was trying to manipulate him or something, because with his hair tousled and cheeks slightly flushed, all Hyunjin could think at that moment was how adorable he looked.  

It was unfair, how could he smile like Hyunjin didn’t just laugh at him?

How could he smile like he didn’t find his laugh stupid?

“I guess it’s a little funny,” Felix admitted sheepishly, averting his gaze. “And embarassing. And inappropriate. I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Seungmin told him. “You didn’t know. And don’t worry about Byungjoon, I’ll talk to him. I’m so sorry for him.”

“No, it’s fine!” Felix shook his head. “I’d much prefer if we all collectively forget this ever happened," he said, eyes pleading. 

It was pretty funny, but Hyunjin thought if he was in Felix's position, he'd be just as embarrassed.

“Alright,” Seungmin agreed after a pause. Hyunjin knew he wasn’t going to let it go, he was going to let Byungjoon have it. Hyunjin thought he deserved it.

For a moment, he let his eyes stray toward Jeongin, who had been silent throughout the whole ordeal. Hyunjin thought that he looked just as confused as Felix at first, so that probably meant that he had no idea what flower boys were.

It seemed like these two had been living a separate life, blissfully unaware of what happens outside of their community. It was good to some point, since it meant that they had been living a relatively peaceful life. Now Hyunjin could see the confusion was all gone, he seemed annoyed, if not a little flustered. 

The concept of flower boys and girls was seemed to be entirely foreign to them. To Hyunjin who came from a noble family, it wasn't.

Most flower boys and girls were commoners or courtiers. They get paid really well, because of course they do.

Hyunjin had an idea why Byungjoon thought Felix was one. He probably figured that Felix wasn’t a noble, but he was dressed like one—any noble could recognize a noble’s clothing, because they’re all tailored. There weren’t that many tailors in the Kingdom, and almost all of them lived in the capital because even though a lot of the Lesser Nobles’ main estate were in the other villages, they mostly stayed in the capital. It wasn’t that hard to recognize the tailors’ handiworks, since there were only a few of them. In fact, Hyunjin knew whose handiwork was Felix’s.

There are three things nobles cared so deeply about: riches, power and beauty. Felix definitely had the beauty, so it wouldn’t have been strange if he was indeed, a flower boy.

Nobles cared about beauty, they cared about looks, so more often than not when they got themselves a flower boy or girl, they would buy them stuff—mostly clothes and jewelry. Hyunjin couldn’t believe he didn’t think of it, he thought Felix was just an antisocial Lesser Noble who was trying to trick them into thinking that he wasn’t one, he wasn’t sure for what, but he definitely had a hidden motive. Nobles always had that.

But Felix didn’t know what a flower boy was, so perhaps Hyunjin had been entirely wrong about him.

Chan's voice interrupted his musings, bringing his focus back to the conversation. “So it’s settled then,” he spoke up, turning to Jeongin. “We’ll keep you safe here for now. We can discuss what to do next when the break-in incident has been resolved. In the meantime, we’ll get a helper for your family.”

Jeongin nodded. “Okay,” he agreed slowly. “Thank you.”

Chan shook his head, “No, thank you. For coming and for being willing to figure this out with us. I can understand why you worry about your parents.”

Jeongin sighed, but nodded. “Yeah. With what’s been going on and the walls… I can’t help but worry,” he said. 

Wait, the what?

“Walls?” Chan repeated, confused. He turned to Seungmin questioningly. 

From his seat across the table, Hyunjin could see how Seungmin tensed, his expression shifting to one of unease.

“What walls?”

 

---

 

To their guards, Seungmin probably just looked furious, but Changbin knew it was more than that.

Seungmin was angry, disappointed, and stressed out.

“Minnie,” Changbin grabbed Seungmin’s arm before he was able to reach his study and lock himself inside. The others were right behind them. “You need to calm down. Let’s talk about this.”

“My father doesn’t trust me!” Seungmin snapped at him as he tried to pull away from Changbin’s grasp, but Changbin was undeterred.

“I’m sure there’s an explanation for this, Min,” Chan suggested cautiously.

“Like what?” Seungmin challenged. “This is a Kingdom-wide decision and I wasn’t—we weren’t informed about it! We aren’t allowed to attend the Council meetings! All we do is just look through petitions and review reports and minor paperwork!”

“Min—“

“He’s right,” Jisung interjected quietly. “We’re supposed to lead this Kingdom one day but all we do is paperwork and overseeing minor infrastructural developments here at the capital sometimes. It’s not… How are we supposed to lead the Kingdom in the future if that’s all we know how to do?”

“That’s not all we know what to do,” Changbin disagreed.

“Yeah, we know how to do a lot of other things theoretically. How’s that gonna help us?”

“Maybe we just need to give it some time,” Changbin tried. He wasn’t happy with the situation, but he knew the King loved his son. There was no way he didn’t trust him, not when his son was Seungmin.

Seungmin always took his lessons seriously, he worked hard even when he wasn’t feeling well, and he always did his best in everything he did, especially when it had something to do with his future position as the King.

Seungmin was always diligent, and Changbin couldn’t imagine anyone more trustworthy than him, so there was just absolutely no way the King didn’t trust his son.

“One day, we’ll lead this Kingdom, hyung,” Seungmin said, subdued. He had stopped trying to pull away from Changbin’s grasp, so Changbin released his hold. “How are we supposed to do that if we barely know what’s going on?”

“We’ll ask,” Minho said firmly, making everyone turn to him. “We’ll be visiting the palace next month, right? We’ll ask then. Seungmin is right. We need to be more involved. How else are we going to make the Council acknowledge us?”

Changbin’s eyes locked with Chan, who looked just as worried as he was. They’ve been preparing for this their whole life, but Changbin would be lying if he said that the prospect of being actively involved in politics excites him. He noticed how quiet Hyunjin was and he didn’t have to ask to know that he shared his sentiment.

“Right,” Seungmin sighed. “Next month.”

Changbin knew he probably wanted to do it now if he could, but he couldn’t. The King was busy, the King had always been busy, so all meetings were scheduled.

Even when the meeting was with his own son and his soulmates.

Changbin would never fault him, though. The King was running the Kingdom single-handedly—had done so for years now, so of course he was busy. He wished he would trust them enough to delegate more things and let them be involved. It would certainly help with his workload.

“We’ll figure this out,” Chan said as he stared into Seungmin’s eyes, reaching to give his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Seungmin closed his eyes and exhaled, calming himself down. “Okay,” he said eventually.

Changbin knew that they had a lot to handle and they would probably run into a lot more trouble before they inherited the crown, but with his boys with him, Changbin was sure that they could overcome anything.

 

---

 

When it was apparent that these people didn’t know about the walls, Jeongin and Felix just stared at each other dumbly for a few seconds before Jeongin jumped into an explanation of what had been happening—the animal attacks in the villages and the wall project. Felix wasn’t entirely sure why they didn’t know about it, they were the heirs to the crown, weren’t they?

It was confusing, but Felix wasn’t about to ask anyone about it, because he could see how upset they were—Seungmin in particular.

They thanked Jeongin for explaining, and then they excused themselves, leaving them to eat lunch by themselves. Felix and Jeongin ate dinner together in Felix’s room that night, since the guards had told them that they were busy.

The pattern continued the next day, Felix mostly spent his time with Jeongin. They met the others during mealtimes, so breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but that was all. Even during mealtime, Felix could see how they all seemed to have a lot on their minds, the conversations were muted and even Chan wasn’t as eager to start conversations with them, seemingly too distracted to do so.

Felix wasn’t complaining, but he was worried about them. He also wished they’d talk to Jeongin more, or maybe spend some time with him. They were now civil with each other, so Felix totally thought that they could be friends, even though he kept himself from saying that out loud in case Jeongin still had an aversion to the word.

They spent most of their time in Felix’s room, wondering about how everyone was doing at home and when they would get the replies to their letters. Felix had introduced Jeongin to Yeonjun, but Yeonjun had yet to drop the Sir when he addressed Jeongin, and Jeongin didn’t seem all that eager to know him better. Felix could tell that his friend was still worried about his parents, and all that worrying was exhausting for him. Felix watched as his eyes drooped and he slowly fell asleep when the silence stretched a little during their conversations. He would usually let him, and then sneak out to bother whoever he could find. He liked talking to the staff, they were all so lovely, and he loved listening to them talk about their families.

Now that things were settling down and Jeongin didn’t look like he had the world on his shoulders, Felix got the capacity to think of other things—of Duskwood, of the forest, of his uncle.

When Felix hurriedly left his home for Duskwood, he was so worried about his uncle that he didn’t think to leave a note explaining where he was. He stressed about it for a moment before realizing that his uncle would know. He’d know to go to Duskwood, because that’s where he told Felix he was going and that was the closest village, so if he was back he would look there first. Once he was there, the villagers would know to point him to the Jungs’ inn, and Wooyoung would point him to the capital. Felix had no doubt that his uncle could find him without trouble.

But would he?

At this point, Felix could only pray that he was alright, that he wasn’t hurt or… or worse.

The small voice at the back of his head was there, though, whispering the thoughts he was too scared to face—that maybe his uncle did it on purpose, that maybe he left Felix.

His uncle was all he had, and he was all his uncle had. Felix refused to believe that he would leave him, that he would abandon him.

Besides, he still had hope, the Guild of Magic. Maybe there will be something to find there.

He didn’t know when, but Felix had to go back at some point, not only to Duskwood, but home. He wanted to look into the forest, maybe figure out what was wrong with it. He wanted to read some of his uncle’s books, he might find some stuff there. He also wanted to check on his friends; if something was truly wrong with the forest, his friends would be affected.

The next morning, there was a knock on his door and when he pulled it open it was Mr. Kang, a friendly smile on his face and a bunch of letters in his hands.

Felix thanked him profusely and took the letters, mindlessly tearing the first one open without reading who it was from.

 

Felix,  

What do you mean you don’t know when you’ll be back?? 

We’re doing alright and the walls are progressing.

But Felix… Byeol and I revisited the area, the one we marked, a few days ago. Strangely enough, Byeol wasn’t showing any distress, and to me, the area seemed different—healthier, better? My speculation is whatever was wrong with it… is gone.

The only way to be sure is to have you check it over, but you’re not exactly here.

There haven’t been any animal attacks so far, so the charms are probably working.

While these are all good news, I don’t like it. We still haven’t figured out what was wrong with the area, and now it’s miraculously gone? I don’t know what to think.

I’ve requested to borrow a few books from the guild, and I’m still waiting for their reply. I’ll have to do more research. I’d like to get to the bottom of this. It would be very helpful to have you here, Felix.

Let me know what you think.

 

Take care,

Hayeon

 

p.s. Along with the letter I’ve sent you a sample of the soil I took from the area. Let me know if you see something. Also, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this, but this letter is sealed by a magical seal, which means only you and I can open it. Please re-use the seal when you’re sending your reply, just use a little bit of wax or glue to stick it to the envelope. I’ll strengthen the seal every time I receive your letter. Please reply soon.

Notes:

i didn't think that i'd update early this week but here we are 😂

the next chapter should be up in a week's time, so next saturday, unless i finish early (or late). i hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 17: Caught

“The dragon flew to the village with his mighty wing, roaring terribly,” she said with animated gestures. Her voice filled the air, luring his imagination into a world of fantasy and wonder. The boy listened, absorbed in the tale. “He opened his mouth and breathed fire, destroying the houses of the villagers—”

A soft gasp interrupted her, followed by a small voice, “Is he angry, Mama?”

Her fingers, as tender as her voice, brushed against his hair. “He is angry,” she affirmed, her touch soothing.

“Why?” he asked, tone filled with wonder.

“Well,” she began, pausing thoughtfully. “I suppose he’s just angry.”

Big, confused eyes turned to her, “But you said that when someone’s angry, there’s always a reason,” the little boy said, head slightly tilted. “Like when you’re angry because I threw my food around.”

“Ah, well I suppose there might be a reason,” she conceded, her smile affectionate. “But don’t worry, the brave hero and his great sword are here!” she announced playfully as she tickled him. Laughter echoed throughout the small hut. Gently, she guided him to stand from her lap, placing a small wooden sword in his hands.“Quick, the dragon is here! Do something, please!”

Giggling, the boy straightened himself.

“The dragon flew close to the hero, roaring angrily,” she narrated. “The hero will have to stop the dragon. Will you be brave enough, little hero?”

“Yes!” he said. “I’ll protect you, Mama!"

She smiled brightly as she pulled him to plant a wet kiss on his cheek, making him giggle. He squirmed, ticklish.

“The hero and his trusty sword stood straight, facing the big, angry dragon. The hero is strong and mighty. Are you ready to slay the dragon, Mr. Hero?”

The boy blinked, his expression pensive. Then, he turned to her, brows furrowed. “I don't want to slay the dragon, Mama,” he replied sadly. “Maybe if I say sorry, he'll stop?”

She smiled fondly, if not a little sadly.

“The dragon is very upset,” she warned.

The boy was silent for a little while, face scrunched, deep in thought. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. He turned to her with a bright smile plastered on his face. “I’ll give him a hug!” he said before he jumped into her arms, abandoning the wooden sword, which clattered to the floor. “Like this! Hugs make things better, right Mama?”

Putting her arms around him, she pulled him into a warm hug. “Of course, how could I forget,” she said. “My brave little warrior,” eyes wistful and sad; loving.

 

---

 

The next morning, Felix woke up with a heavy feeling in his chest, like he was forgetting something, and he hated it.

The fact that he was really worried about Jeongin didn't help.

Felix knew he had to do something. He could see that despite the fact that they had finally found a temporary solution to their problems, Jeongin wasn't faring well. At first, Felix thought that his friend was just catching up on sleep and rest, he was always working back at home and he had been restless this whole time, so it was understandable he needed rest.

However, Felix had seen him stare blankly at nothing or zone out several times, and no matter how much he had rested he still looked like he needed more, so Felix figured that it was something else.

Even receiving replies from their friends and his family didn't seem to help. Felix saw as Jeongin stared blankly at the reply from his parents in particular.

“Let's go,” Felix said, pushing himself up from where he was sitting. Jeongin was sprawled on his bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Blinking owlishly as he tried to get out of a daze, Jeongin turned to Felix, “Go?” he repeated.

“Outside,” Felix clarified. “You've been cooped up in this room for too long. You haven't seen the palace yet, right? Come on, I'll show you around.”

A soft sigh escaped Jeongin’s lips, he closed his eyes, looking like he wasn't all that interested, “I don't know, hyung. I don't really feel like it.”

“It'll be fun,” Felix insisted. He grabbed Jeongin's arms and pulled him into a sitting position. “Please? You know they have horses here, right? They're all so beautiful, I think you'll like them,” he said, eyes pleading.

Jeongin seemed to give it a thought before his eyes flew open. He caught Felix’s eyes, a tired smile on his face.

“Alright,” Jeongin conceded. “Let's go see the horses.”

 

---

 

Chattering happily, Felix half-dragged Jeongin to the stables. He greeted the guards and the other staff they passed by, including Chaeeun, who was dusting the accent tables in the hallways of the West Wing.

When they arrived at the stables, there was only one of the stable hands there. He welcomed them politely and told them they were welcome to look around. He even offered to call the equestrian instructor if they’d like to go for a ride, which was quickly declined by Jeongin.

Felix thought that learning how to ride a horse would be fun, but perhaps he should settle for this today. He was just glad that Jeongin agreed to go out of the bedroom.

Observing his friend carefully, Felix could see how Jeongin's features seemed to soften as he gazed at the horses. He was petting Kkum now, the horse Byungjoon rode when he was visiting.

Honestly, Felix couldn't really understand what Byungjoon was on about when he was talking about the best horses and whatnot. To Felix, they all looked just as beautiful. Was there even a horse that was not beautiful? Felix doubted it.

The stable hand who was on duty was a young man called Yongjae, he kindly took them around and was now telling Jeongin about Kkum and his habits.

Glad that Jeongin seemed to enjoy as he listened in interest, Felix moved deeper into the stables, eyeing the horses curiously. He wondered why they had so many horses, but he supposed that they had too many of anything, so it wasn't exactly surprising.

Curiously, tucked away at the very back of the stable, there was a white horse that was separated from the rest. It looked just as beautiful as the other horses, and Felix wondered why they were keeping it separated like that.

It seemed to notice Felix’s presence, moving closer to the fence. Mirroring its action, Felix approached slowly. Reaching out tentatively, Felix smiled as intelligent eyes stared back at him, “Hi,” he said softly. “Why are you here all alone?”

The horse stood still as it stared back at him curiously. Felix started stroking its nose gently, feeling its warm coat under his skin. It seemed to respond well as it leaned slightly into his touch.

“What's your name?” Felix wondered aloud as he continued to stroke its nose. “I bet you have a beautiful name. My name's Felix,” he told the horse.

The horse, of course, didn’t say anything, but Felix was used to it. None of his friends back in the forest ever said anything, no matter how much Felix stared into their eyes pleadingly. He felt that he could understand them just fine though—he was making educated guesses for the most part, but he’d like to think that he guessed well.

“Do you like it here?” Felix asked, not exactly hoping for a response. Climbing over the fence to get closer to the horse, he started talking about the things he liked about the palace, like Yeonjun and Chaerin and Chaeeun and Jihee and Mr. Kang. He was going to start talking about Duskwood when a very loud voice startled him to death.

“Felix!” a voice bellowed, causing Felix to flinch involuntarily.

The horse seemed startled too. It lifted his head and turned toward the noise, his nostrils flaring. Felix turned to see Changbin practically running toward them, and while the horse wasn’t shying away from Felix, he could feel that it had tensed, so he spoke softly in an effort to soothe him. Felix turned his attention to Changbin as he rubbed the horse’s head. Changbin wasn’t alone now, Yongjae and Jeongin was right behind him. The three of them were standing right behind the fences.

Felix could see Changbin and Yongjae’s alarmed expressions, wondering what this was about. Was he not supposed to touch the horses? But Yongjae said that it was okay to look around, and he even asked if they’d like to try horse riding?

“You need to get away from him,” Changbin’s voice cut through his thoughts. His gaze was wary as it remained focused on the horse.

Him? Felix blinked slowly before turning to the horse, who was staring back at him. Did he mean the horse?

“I’m sorry, Your Highness,” Felix apologized. He didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to touch the horses. He hoped Changbin wasn’t too mad.

Changbin’s eyes flickered back toward Felix when he spoke up, “Felix, just come back here, slowly. Don’t startle him,” he instructed.

Felix didn’t think he startled the horse at all, if anything, he thought that Changbin was the one who did all the startling when he called out to Felix very loudly. Turning to the horse, Felix stroked its head one last time, “Sorry, buddy,” he muttered. The horse nuzzled into his hand for a moment before it pulled away, only to nudge him on the shoulder, as if telling him that he should go.

Felix gave it a smile before turning around. He climbed over the fence, taking Jeongin’s offered hand.

Once he was back on the ground at the other side of the fence, he spoke up, “I’m so sorry,” he hastily apologized, bowing his head. “I didn’t mean to—” he paused because when he looked up, Changbin was gaping at him.

“What—” he started, before he stopped himself. “How did you do that?”

Felix glanced toward Yongjae, who looked just as perplexed as Changbin, before turning his attention back to Changbin. “Do… what?” he inquired slowly, uncertainty in his voice.

“Dongja,” Changbin said like that was supposed to mean anything to Felix. He could probably see how that made Felix even more confused, though, so he added, “The horse. That’s his name. He hates… well, everyone. He always tries to bite anyone who gets close and you just—” he explained, hands gesturing wildly before he trailed off, seemingly lost for words.

So he was called Dongja. Changbin wasn’t making any sense, though, Dongja was very calm and sweet.

“Really?” Felix asked, glancing to Yongjae for confirmation. The man nodded vigorously, eyes wide like he was amazed or something.

“He doesn’t seem to hate you,” Changbin said, frowning like he was deep in thought as he stared at Dongja who had gone away from the fence and was now busy licking his coat. “How did you do that?” he asked, turning back to Felix.

“Uh…” Felix said brilliantly. “I didn’t do anything?” he replied hesitantly, catching Jeongin’s eyes. To his relief, his friend looked as clueless as he was.

Changbin stared at him like he wasn’t making any sense, “Maybe that was just a coincidence,” he muttered to himself, his expression thoughtful. “Wait, try again. Don’t jump the fence or anything, just get close enough and try… I don’t know, calling him over or something.”

Felix wasn’t entirely sure what Changbin was trying to prove here, but he complied. He walked toward the fence until he was pressed onto it. He was just going to call out to Dongja when he felt someone’s hand on his arm.

“Not too close,” Changbin said warily as he tugged on him, making Felix take a step backward.

Felix didn’t think that would make any significant difference, but he thought that saying that out loud wouldn’t do him any good, so he simply nodded in response.

“You can try whistling or calling his name, Sir,” Yongjae suggested helpfully.

“Right,” Felix said. He could feel their eyes on him, and he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. He felt like he was being tested or something.

“Dongja-yah!” he called out.

The horse stopped licking himself and noticed him immediately, coming over. Felix extended his hand, and once again, the horse nuzzled into it.

There was no way Dongja would bite anyone. He was the sweetest.

Felix turned to Changbin, confused, but Changbin looked even more confused than him. Slowly, he reached out to pet Dongja, too.

Felix felt it before he saw it, Dongja tensed briefly before pulling away, nostrils flaring. Similarly, Changbin pulled his hand away rather protectively, stepping backward and looking like he was glad Dongja didn’t attempt to bite him.

He turned to Felix sharply, as if saying see? Felix just stared back as he gave him a confused smile.

Changbin regarded him curiously, looking like he was seeing Felix in a new light, “Okay,” he said eventually. “You’ve got to teach me how to do that.”

 

---

 

“Hyung, do you know about the Guild of Magic?” Felix asked Yeonjun. The older was practicing his sword fighting skill, he had been rhythmically striking a practice dummy with his training sword for the past thirty minutes. After lunch, Felix spent his time writing his replies to Wooyoung and San, as well as the Jungs while Jeongin wrote his. He only had Minhyuk’s and Hayeon’s left, which he’d do tonight, maybe.

Once again, Jeongin had fallen asleep in his room, so Felix went and found Yeonjun.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun replied without pausing, breath a little labored. “What about it?”

“Can you tell me about it?”

Finally pausing as he took a steadying breath, he turned to Felix. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything, really,” Felix said. “Is it far from here?”

“The palace is pretty far from everything,” Yeojun replied. “Outside the gates, surrounding the palace, you have the Nobles’ housing area. You’ve gotta go through that before you can reach the other parts of the capital. Did you see the central market on your way here?”

“I think so,” Felix replied hesitantly, trying to recall that part of their journey. It had only been a few days, but so much had happened he barely remembered other things. He remembered seeing a bustling marketplace, though.

“That’s where most of the guilds are located,” Yeonjun explained. “Other than the Healer’s Guild. They’re located a few blocks away.”

“What other guilds are there?” Felix asked, curious.

“The Hunters’ Guild and the Merchant’s Guild,” Yeonjun said. “Why? Are you looking to join one?”

Shaking his head, Felix replied, “Not really,” he said. But then, wouldn’t that be a potential way to earn money? He wasn’t sure about the other guilds, but the Hunter’s guild sounded like something he could do. He never liked hunting, but he could do it. Would fishing be counted as hunting? Fishing was just hunting fish, right? “I mean, I don’t know. I was just asking. Actually, I want to visit the Guild of Magic.”

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, intrigued, “The Guild of Magic?” he asked. “Why?”

“I want to ask them something,” Felix sighed. “I’m looking for someone, my uncle. He’s a magician, and he’s missing. I’m hoping they know something.”

Yeonjun's expression softened sympathetically. "I'm sorry," he offered.

Felix shook his head, indicating he wasn't bothered by it.

“I can help you with that,” Yeonjun continued. “One of my soulmates is a magician and a member of the guild. He’ll take you and help you ask around.”

“Really?” Felix asked, surprised and touched at the kind offer. “You’ll do that for me, hyung?”

“Of course,” Yoenjun said with no hesitation. “It’s no big deal. I hope you’ll find your uncle soon. Having a missing family member is never easy,” he said, sounding like he knew a thing or two about that.

“Have you… did you…” Felix faltered, unsure if it was appropriate to ask.

Yeonjun gave him a grim smile, shaking his head, “Not me, one of my soulmates,” he said. “His older cousin, who had just joined the Hunter’s Guild, disappeared last year. They still haven’t found him.”

That was horrible. A whole year? Uncle Insu had only been missing for a few months and Felix was at his wit’s end. He felt so hopeless, and the thoughts of his uncle were always plaguing him at the back of his mind.

“I’m so sorry, hyung,” Felix responded sadly. His heart ached for Yeonjun’s soulmate, knowing just how hard it could be to wonder.

“Me too, it’s been tough on him,” Yeonjun said. “How long has it been, since your uncle disappeared?”

“A little over three months,” Felix said.

Yeonjun hummed thoughtfully, pausing before he spoke up, “I’ll help as much as I can,” he said, and Felix felt so fortunate that he was kicked out of the room that first day and got introduced to Yeonjun. “I’ll introduce you to Taehyun soon. Maybe when the lockdown is over.”

“Lockdown?” Felix asked, surprised. “Wait, you're not allowed out too?”

“No one's allowed out right now,” Yeonjun confirmed. “The only things getting in or out are food supplies and letters, both are delivered to the gates.”

Wait a minute. “But the Princes…” Felix trailed off, unsure. “Prince Byungho and Byungjoon came?”

“The royal family is an exception,” Yeonjun explained. “We’re on lockdown, and so are the other palaces. Lockdowns are decreed by the highest ranked in each palace, so here it was decreed by Prince Seungmin. It’s the King for the Goldencrest Palace, and Prince Seunggi, the King’s younger brother, for Redmont Palace.”

“So the Redmont Palace is also on lockdown?” Felix asked, confused. “But they came anyway?”

“Prince Seunggi decreed Redmont Palace’s lockdown right after the break-in. The King did the same for Goldencrest a few days after. As for us, Prince Seungmin only decreed the lockdown after your arrival,” Yeonjun explained.

“No one’s allowed in or out, but the royal family is an exception. They have the freedom to go in or out the palaces, unless it’s clearly decreed or stated that they’re included in the restrictions,” Yeonjun said. “As far as I know, that hasn’t happened, that’s why the Princes could come. Although, it would’ve been better if they stayed in out of respect to their Father, if nothing else,”

Yeonjun eyed their surroundings warily before he added, voice low. “Princes and Princess of Redmont tend to be… rules-optional,” he said with a grimace. “They don’t really listen to Prince Seunggi.”

Felix felt bad for Prince Seunggi now, but it left him wondering. Byungjoon did seem to be someone with a very strong personality, but Prince Byungho seemed like he was a perfectly reasonable person. Felix wouldn’t have thought that he was the type to not listen to his parents.

“Plus, the break-in happened when the King was visiting his brother, he was there at the Redmont Palace, so they’re speculating that if it wasn’t an attempted theft but was intended as an attack, the target is the King,” Yeonjun went on, seemingly worried. “That’s probably why the Redmont family isn’t all that concerned about their safety. If anyone was targeted, it would be the King or Prince Seungmin as his successor, first and foremost.”

That definitely sounded bad. Felix’s heart ached for Seungmin. It was no wonder he was so scared and worried.

“Right,” Felix muttered. Maybe this was more serious than he thought. He didn't think that the staff would be banned from going outside, too—he didn’t think that they were in an actual lockdown.

“Don't worry,” Yeonjun assured, “They will catch whoever it is soon.”

Everyone in the capital and their confidence in the matter was starting to feel not reassuring. Whatever was happening seemed really serious, and Felix was starting to have a bad feeling about all of it.

“I hope so,” Felix said, distracted. He inhaled deeply in an attempt to make the feeling disappear. It was probably nothing. Everyone was confident that it would be resolved soon, so it probably will.

As if the break-in issue wasn’t enough to keep his mind spinning, Felix couldn't stop thinking about his uncle and the disappearances now. Are they connected? So far there were his uncle, Jeogin's uncle, and Yeonjun's soulmate's cousin. Are they related? Felix doubted that his uncle's disappearance would be related to Jeongin's uncle, because that happened years ago. Besides, he disappeared into the forest and so Felix thought that people were assuming that he stumbled into a beast or maybe got too lost in there. That wasn't something that could happen to his uncle because they lived in the forest. They don't get lost, and his uncle is a skilled magician. Felix doubted the animals or beasts could give him any problem.

Yeonjun's soulmate's cousin, though? That was recent enough, so maybe they're connected?

“Your soulmate's cousin, he lived here too? In the capital?” Felix asked, hoping that Yeonjun wouldn't mind him asking questions.

Fortunately, Yeonjun nodded, “He used to, before he became a hunter. He had to move away to one of the outer villages for that, since hunters work in the outer forest. They grew up together, him and Kai—my soulmate,” he explained. “He was like a big brother to him, so he was devastated. Being a hunter is dangerous, but he’s very skilled, only the best could get into the guild, actually,” he sighed wistfully.

“Really? He must be really good, then.”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun agreed, eyes distant. “There are, of course, forests scattered within the Kingdom, but those are cut off from the ones outside the Kingdom's borders, so you need a permit to hunt. It's regulated pretty strictly. Nowadays, it’s mostly Nobles who hunt there, since quite a few of them hunt for fun. A licensed hunter, the ones registered in the guild, they hunt in the forest outside. That's why it's dangerous,” he explained. “There isn't much to catch around the Kingdom anyways ‘cause before the regulations were made people hunted all they want. You could probably find boars, foxes, deers and the like. But outside there are so many beasts to hunt: bears, cougars, wolves…”

“Right,” Felix muttered, trying to hide his horror. He knew that people hunt animals to eat, and he was taught to hunt; but growing up in the forest, some of those animals were his friends, so most of the time they ate mushrooms and fruits and vegetables. And fishes, which he had less problem with, but that was just because they were always swimming around, and Felix could never tell if they were looking at him or not. Admittedly, he never really tried talking to them before. Maybe he should, maybe they’d surprise him.

Felix prayed Seung won't try to find him in Duskwood anymore. He hoped his friend stayed far and well away from the villages.

“But like I said, the forest is dangerous. An average person would never get to eat deer and bears and wolves, they're too expensive. They're mostly the Nobles' food,” Yeonjun added. “They pay really well for them, so Hunters are usually well-off. It's to be expected, though, since they could never know if they would be able to make it home or not.”

Felix grimaced, he didn’t like how that sounded.

“Kai hyung's cousin, did he disappear when he was hurting?”

“Kai's younger than you,” Yeonjun’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “As for your question, we don't know for sure. Some of his colleagues said that he went back early, but the others swore that he never made it back, so…” he sighed. “No one knows.”

Felix gave him a small nod in response, deep in thought. If they knew for sure that he disappeared whilst he was in the forest, that would confirm everyone's speculation about the forest, that it was really dangerous. For those who didn’t know their way around, anyway.

“You can ask Kai about it,” Yeonjun said, giving Felix's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “It's been a year, but he hasn't given up on him yet. He thinks about his cousin a lot. He wouldn't mind talking to you about him.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Felix replied with a grateful smile.

“I'll introduce you to Soobin as well. He's my last—” he trailed off, expression troubled all of a sudden. “He's my other soulmate.”

Deciding that it was probably not his place to pry, Felix simply nodded in response. Now that he wasn't too busy thinking about the disappearances, he realized that Yeonjun had many soulmates. That was three already, so there were four of them? Admittedly, that wasn't as many as he—as Jeongin had, but that was still a lot, right?

Felix realized that he knew so little about soulmates. Seungmin said people thought that he had too many, so he could safely conclude that seven was too many, but was three normal? The other people he had met only had one each.

Shaking his head, he noted mentally to ask someone about it. Maybe later.

 

---

 

Hayeon’s letter made Felix worry more than he imagined he would. He couldn't just leave Jeongin here, at least, not now. His friend wasn't fighting his soulmates anymore but Felix's relief didn't last long—he wasn't sure which he preferred, Jeongin with fire in his eyes as he fought them or the Jeongin now, looking so defeated, but he wasn’t fighting anyone. He didn't like either, but at least he didn't look like he was giving up on life before.

Felix had no idea what he could do to help. He wished Wooyoung and San were here. Felix had a feeling that they'd know what to do.

Maybe he could do something to cheer Jeongin up. He should think of something.

Right now though, Felix was on a different mission. With all that was going on, he wasn't thinking much outside of Jeongin and the issue of his soulmates, but now that things had calmed down he couldn't stop thinking about the forest and the ashes. It was then he remembered that he was literally in a palace. If Minhyuk's library was extensive, surely the palace library was even better.

Yeonjun did mention that he was allowed to go anywhere but the East Wing, and there was a library near the main hall. Would they have magic-related books in the library? Felix hoped they would, because he really wanted to figure out what those black ashes were.

He felt really bad that he couldn’t be more helpful to Hayeon. She had helped him so much and she had even paid him a month’s worth of wage even though he hadn’t worked for a month for her. With him not knowing when exactly he was going back, it felt like he was robbing her or something.

He was getting close to the library when he heard it, soft melodies echoing through the corridors.

Felix followed the melodies, enthralled.

As he drew closer, the music grew louder. It led him to a slightly open door, when he peaked in, there was Jisung, sitting behind a piano. His eyes were closed, and his hands were dancing on the keyboard, making the most beautiful sound Felix had ever heard.

Felix had never heard something so beautiful. He knew that was a piano, because it looked exactly like the one he had seen in a book when he was younger.

Jisung looked like he was in his own world, posture relaxed as opposed to his usual nervous look in conversations or when they were in the dining room. His eyes were shut, a serene smile on his lips. Felix could see how his body swayed with the music.

Felix just stood there, captivated as Jisung finished the song. He let out a soft sigh, seemingly content, before his eyes flew open and landed right on Felix, who was still blatantly watching him like the idiot he was.

Shit.

 

---

 

When Jisung opened his eyes, Felix with his mouth slightly open as he gawked at him was the very last thing he expected to see; actually, it was something Jisung had never expected to see.

Jisung’s eyes widened in surprise, feeling a little flustered as Felix had caught him playing the piano. He didn’t play anything impressive, and he made mistakes here and there, which was so embarrassing. Jisung couldn’t believe that—

Before Jisung could fully collect his thoughts, Felix spoke up. “I’m sorry!” he blurted out, pulling Jisung out of his thoughts. “I didn’t mean to—I mean, I heard the music and I thought it was beautiful so I followed it and the door was slightly open, I swear I didn’t—”

“It’s okay,” Jisung said quickly as he stood up, still feeling a bit flustered. “You don’t need to apologize, you just startled me.”

Felix’s expression shifted into a grimace, “I’m sorry, Your Highness,” he repeated as he averted his gaze anxiously.

“Seriously, it’s okay,” Jisung told him. He couldn't help but notice that Felix seemed to be holding himself rather tensely. Trying to ease the situation, Jisung asked, “Do you like music?”

Felix's gaze flicked back to Jisung, caught off guard by the question. “I think so,” he responded slowly, hesitantly. “It’s my first time hearing it, but I really liked it,” he added shyly.

His first time hearing it?

Right, Jisung forgot that musical instruments are quite expensive, so it wasn’t really something commoners had. But even then, wouldn’t they at least get to hear music at festivals? There were bards and traveling musicians, although they wouldn’t play the piano most of the time because it was too big and heavy to bring around.

Curious, Jisung asked, “You’ve never seen a piano before?” Felix shook his head sheepishly, eyeing the piano like it was a unicorn or something. “Come closer and get a better look, then,” Jisung urged him. “Do you want to try it out?”

“Oh, no, I shouldn’t,” Felix replied cautiously, maintaining his distance. “What if I break it?”

Jisung chuckled, “You won’t break it,” he said, amused. Felix didn’t look particularly convinced, so Jisung came over and grabbed his arm, tugging him toward the piano. Once they were right in front of it, Jisung made him sit before he sat right beside him. Jisung watched as Felix stared at the instrument in front of him in awe, his eyes roaming over the instrument's details “Give it a try,” he urged.

Felix glanced at him, and then at the piano, looking clueless and wary, but also intrigued.

“Like this,” Jisung said, pressing the key with his index finger before looking at Felix expectantly. “Pianos are very sturdy, trust me. There’s no way you’ll break it,” he added patiently.

Slowly, Felix raised his hand before he mimicked what Jisung did, pressing a key with his index finger. The melody echoed through the room, and Jisung watched as Felix’s whole face lit up, lips tugged into a delighted smile. He turned to Jisung, eyes sparkling like he was saying did you see that?

It was so endearing Jisung let out a bright laugh. “See, you did it!” he exclaimed.

Felix’s smile brightened at that. Hesitantly, he repeated the action, pressing that one key repeatedly. He still looked amazed, and he seemed perfectly content with just that one key.

“You can try the other keys, you know,” Jisung suggested, grinning.

Felix turned to him, looking like he couldn’t believe Jisung just said that. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he replied hesitantly. “But it’s alright, I really like this one.”

Jisung let out a small huff. He grabbed Felix’s hand and lined his thumb, index finger, and little finger on different keys. Felix’s fingers were rather stiff and awkward, which was expected, but Jisung was undeterred. “Now press the keys together, these three,” he instructed before lightly touching the three fingers lightly to make it clear.

Felix’s eyes were on the keys as he pressed them, eyes widening at the sound they made.

“That’s a chord,” Jisung explained.

Felix's gaze shifted to Jisung, curiosity evident in his expression, “Did you use chords when you played just now?”

“Sure,” Jisung replied.

“It was very beautiful,” Felix commented sincerely, looking at Jisung like he was truly amazed by his playing, like Jisung was extraordinary or something.

“It’s nothing,” Jisung shook his head, because it was. “I’m not really good at this.”

Felix regarded him with a puzzled expression. “I think you were really great, Your Highness,” he added.

“Really, I’m not,” Jisung disagreed. “There are people who are so much better at this.”

Felix’s brow furrowed, looking like he couldn’t understand what’s that got to do with anything, “You were amazing,” he said firmly, confidently.

He was really not, but he could see that Felix was being sincere. Shaking his head, Jisung replied, “I’m nothing special, but thank you, Felix.”

Jisung thought that Felix looked rather offended, but that didn’t make any sense. Why would he be offended?

“I think it’s special and you’re amazing,” he said, he insisted. “If I could play like you, I would be so proud of myself.”

Jisung's cheeks warmed at the compliment, he wasn’t used to people other than his soulmates praising him. “Sure you can,” he said. “Here, I’ll teach you.”

 

---

 

Felix had no idea where Jisung got the idea that he could just start teaching him to play the piano and magically make him play an actual song. He was a good teacher, though, he was really patient with Felix no matter how many times he fumbled… which was too many times. All the time.

In the end, Felix told him that they should stop, because they had spent a few hours and Felix wasn’t making that much progress.

“Maybe I should start with like, the easiest song ever, Your Highness,” Felix sighed, feeling a bit defeated. This was totally impossible for him.

“Oh,” Jisung responded. He sounded like he didn’t think of that at all, like he actually expected Felix to be able to learn the song he had been playing. “Well, I guess you’re right. Maybe it’s better to start with something easier,” he said, as he straightened up. He was going to play the notes on the piano, probably to show Felix how it’s done, but Felix had enough piano for the day.  

“Maybe next time?” Felix suggested tentatively. “It’s almost time for dinner, and my fingers hurt,” he said that last part quietly, if not sheepishly. Felix was probably not made for piano or something.

Jisung blinked slowly, “Right,” he said, glancing around as if realizing how much time had passed. “Sorry about that, I didn’t realize we’ve been going at this for a while.”

“It’s alright, Your Highness. I really enjoyed it,” Felix replied. “Thank you for letting me try the piano.”

Jisung offered Felix an encouraging smile. “You can try the piano all you want, whenever you want,” he said. “I’ll show you an easier piece next time?” he proposed, sounding hopeful.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Felix said. He had no idea how it turned out like this, how did he end up having a piano lesson with the Crown Prince’s literal Soulbond Heir, Jeongin’s soulmate. It was a little upsetting that he wasn’t able to make much progress with the piano; it would’ve been awesome if Felix could play something, but his inability to do so implied something that made him smile.

“What is it?” Jisung inquired, curious about the smile on Felix's face.

“I just proved it,” Felix replied triumphantly.

“Proved what?” was Jisung’s confused reply.

“That it was special,” Felix said. “If it was nothing, I would’ve been able to play just like you already, right?” he asked, smiling brightly.

Jisung just stared blankly at him as his words washed over him, before his expression broke, and he gave Felix a grateful smile, “You’re still hung up on that?” he asked with a mix of surprise and amusement.

Of course Felix was hung up on that. He just heard the most beautiful thing ever, and Jisung had insisted that it was nothing, and that it wasn’t special. It was very much something, and it was very special. Felix could’ve listened to it forever.

“It’s just the truth, Your Highness,” Felix said.

Jisung didn’t respond to that, instead, he replied, “Please, call me Jisung,” he said, his smile unwavering.  

Felix mirrored Jisung’s smile, but said nothing in response because he could still hear Minhyuk’s voice in his mind.

“Always address nobles properly, Lix,” Minhyuk had told him.

Yeah, Felix wasn’t going to stop calling anyone Your Highness. Not anytime soon. Not ever, more like. That definitely sounded like something Jeongin would be allowed to do, but not him.

Felix was now on his way back to the West Wing, to his bedroom. He wondered if Jeongin was already awake, it was almost dinner time now.

It was then he realized that he had gotten so distracted he forgot what he was trying to do—he was supposed to go to the library. Promising that he’d do it tomorrow, Felix pushed the door open only to freeze in his tracks.

Because in his room, Jeongin was standing, a very familiar vial in his hand. Behind him, Felix could see the basket on his bed, wide open for the world to see, contents conspicuously displayed.

Somehow, it wasn’t the world Felix was worried about. He wouldn’t have minded if the whole world saw it, as long as Jeongin and his soulmates didn’t.

Jeongin turned to Felix, his expression a mixture of confusion and concern. “Hyung,” he started, voice low. “What is this?”

Notes:

the next one will be up next wednesday the latest (earlier if i finished early). hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 18: Suspicion

Standing in the doorway, Felix could only stare back at Jeongin in dumbfounded silence. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of this, Jeongin had been spending more time in his room throughout their time here, he only goes back to his own room to sleep and shower, the rest of the time he was there with Felix.

It wasn’t all that surprising that he found Felix’s potion. It’s not like it was hidden well or anything, Felix simply placed it beneath the desk, assuming it would remain out of sight.

Now he was there with a vial in his hand and questions in his eyes.

“Hyung?” Jeongin pressed, his voice soft but insistent.

Felix had no idea what to say. At that moment, the only thing he could think of was how bad he was at lying, something Wooyoung had generously reminded him of whenever he attempted to do the deed.

Lips downturned into a frown and brow furrowed, Jeongin stepped closer, and Felix almost stepped back in reflex—the only idea he had was to run, but there wasn’t exactly anywhere to go. The palace was huge, but it was on a lockdown. Felix could try hiding somewhere, but that would probably just make Jeongin angry or something.

“Hyung,” Jeongin repeated, voice quiet. He was standing so close to Felix now, his eyes searching and there was just nowhere to hide, nowhere to go.

“It’s a potion,” Felix stated the obvious, hoping that Jeongin would leave it at that.

“Oh, a potion. Okay, cool,” was what Felix imagined, was what Felix hoped he would say.

“What potion?” Jeongin asked instead. The confusion had melted away from his expression, he just seemed exceedingly concerned now. “Are you… Do you have an illness, hyung?”

“No,” Felix said before he could think, because he wasn’t ill. But then he realized what that would imply, so he quickly changed his answer, “Yes,” he corrected himself. But then he wasn’t sure what illness he could use as a lie, so he spluttered, “No. I mean…” he faltered. “It’s complicated,” he finally said, averting his gaze away because Jeongin seemed increasingly distressed.

“Complicated how?”

Felix struggled for words, realizing he had trapped himself in a corner.

“I…” Felix tried, racking his brain for something.

See, this was why… this was why it was a bad idea, to leave the forest and go into the village, because of course he would meet his soulmate. He couldn't have lived in the furthest village or something.

To be fair, the others lived in the capital, which was decently far from Felix, but still. Maybe he should've said no when Jeongin begged him to come. If only he wasn't so weak for him.

“Why didn’t you tell me, hyung?” The hurt in Jeongin’s voice snapped Felix’s attention back at him. “You don’t trust me?”

“No!” Felix said quickly. “Of course I trust you, Innie. It’s just…” he paused, sighing. “It never came up, and it’s not a big deal.”

“If it’s not a big deal why do you have so much of this?” Jeongin continued to probe, eyeing the vials. “How often do you take it? What is it for?”

Felix swallowed hard, realizing that Jeongin wasn't about to let this go easily. “Just once every two days,” he replied, his voice shaky.

“What is it for?”

Isn’t that the hardest question?

”Why can’t we go, Mama?

”Oh, sweetheart,” sad eyes and regretful face greeted him. She looked like she wanted to tell him, but decided against it because she didn’t want to shatter his illusion of life.

Not that it mattered, because Felix knew now, she told him one day—through a story that was so ingrained in Felix’s mind.

“And with his dying breath, he cursed him,” she had told him when he was a little older, even though he was still much too young to understand it all. “He cursed us all,” she said, voice barely above a whisper, like she was afraid someone else would hear her.

Shoulders tense, Felix tried to shake the memory away. He didn’t need the reminder.

“The cursed ones,” Chan’s words rung in his ears, mocking him. “Those forsaken by the fates are regarded as the cursed ones,” he had said.

But they were not cursed. Felix was cursed. And he had done everything he could do to make sure they wouldn’t be, he had done everything in his power to make sure that they were safe from it.

They were his soulmates, so perhaps in a sense they were destined to be cursed along with him—but if there was one good thing Felix had done with his life, that one thing had been to keep them safe from him. From his curse. If there was one thing Felix had done with his wretched life, it had been for them.

They could never know he was their soulmate.

He had done everything in his power to make sure that they had no way to know. He had gone through years and years of pain, he was going through years and years of pain just so that they would never know; a price he was willing to pay, a decision he had made. As long as he kept his mouth shut, they would never know.

He had to think of something now, and he had to do it fast. What was it that Minhyuk said again? The best lies are rooted in truth, or something like that?

“It’s a pain potion,” Felix added quietly.

“Pain potion?” Jeongin repeated, alarmed. “You’re in pain?”

“No!” Felix said before he could think. Fates, why does he have to be so bad at lying? “I mean, yes, but not like that,” he continued hastily, still attempting to salvage the situation.

“Like what?” Jeongin asked, expression twisted into something Felix couldn’t place.

Like what, indeed, Felix thought.

“It’s just like… like headaches,” Felix said hesitantly, before realizing that it wasn’t such a bad lie. That could work. This potion could actually help with headaches, he remembered reading about it—it helps with headaches, muscle pain, and stuff like that. It was only supposed to be for those minor pains, which was why it didn’t help that much with his, but it was better than nothing. The pain was more bearable.

Felix could see a hint of relief on Jeongin’s face, “You have headaches?” Jeongin asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” Felix said quickly, nodding. “It’s nothing bad, it’s just light headaches.”

His stomach fell as he watched Jeongin’s expression shift, seemingly unconvinced. “Light… But you need potions for it?”

“It happens often, so it could be annoying,” Felix explained, choosing his words carefully. “It’s something I’ve had for years, and this potion really helps with the pain. Really, it’s nothing serious,” he said. “It’s not contagious or anything, I promise.”

“I wasn’t worried about that,” Jeongin said, frown deepened. “Are you okay? Do you have a headache right now? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Felix reassured, feeling a warmth in his chest at how caring Jeongin was, and maybe a little bit of guilt for lying. But it was fine, because he was lying for Jeongin. Thinking about it that way really helped with the guilt. “I took my potion. Don’t worry,” he said cheerfully.

“Alright, hyung,” Jeongin relented. He looked like he wanted to say more, but Mr. Choi came and announced that it was time for dinner, so they let the man escort them to the dining room in the East Wing.

Sighing inwardly, Felix followed behind Jeongin. He hoped that was enough to appease Jeongin. He hoped he wouldn’t talk about it ever again.

 

---

 

Jeongin ate his dinner in silence, his mind consumed by his thoughts. He registered the others speaking, engaged in a conversation, but he couldn’t care to join in or even to listen. He was far too preoccupied with his own thoughts.

Felix drinks potions. Pain potions specifically, for the headaches he's suffered for years.

And Jeongin had no idea about it. Felix had never told him about it.

It struck Jeongin like a heavy blow. There was a heaviness in his chest, something he couldn’t seem to shake.

Because that was it, wasn’t it? He just realized that there was so much he didn’t know about Felix. He knew that he was looking for his uncle, that he was missing, that Felix loved his uncle. He knew his love for books, and his curiosity about the world and the people in it—he had watched his eyes light up whenever he listened to people’s stories, how much he loved hearing about people’s lives. Jeongin knew Felix was physically affectionate, and he was always generous with affection. He knew he loved animals, he befriends animals, from horses to crows to foxes.

He didn’t know Felix was in pain.

Felix had met his parents, but Jeongin had never heard Felix talk about his. He only talked about his uncle, so Jeongin assumed that he had lived with him because his parents were busy with work or something—maybe they’re traveling merchants? Children of traveling merchants would usually live with relatives, be it grandparents or uncles and aunts.

But those were only speculations. He had no idea about the truth, what if it wasn’t as simple as that? What if it was something worse?

He tried shaking the thoughts off, but they clung to him stubbornly. He couldn’t even imagine it. Felix was so bright and warm and kind, so he must’ve grown up well—with so much love and care and warmth.

Jeongin wished he knew. He wished Felix would open up, he wished he could learn more about him; because Jeongin felt like he had bare his soul to him; he had cried his heart out and shown him the most miserable parts of himself, and he didn’t realize that Felix hadn’t done the same.

Maybe it was selfish of him, to want this. Everyone had their own pace, everyone needed different time to open up. Jeongin wasn’t one to open up so easily, too. Not that it mattered because somehow, he had opened up to Felix, so quickly and helplessly—so naturally.

Like something was pulling him, like he had known him for years even though it was his first time meeting him, like there was something familiar about him.

He had heard about it before, some people claimed that it was how they felt when they met their soulmates.

But Felix wasn’t Jeongin’s, so Jeongin had no idea why he felt that way.

And he had fallen for him so quickly too. It didn’t matter that Jeongin never thought much about love, that he never yearned for it. It didn’t matter that he was guarded, that he was skeptical and that he never fell in love before, It didn't matter that he had never planned for this to happen.

He fell for Felix so quickly and naturally—he fell for him so embarrassingly, hopelessly easy; only to find that he wasn’t his soulmate.

Not that it mattered to Jeongin. It mattered at first, but Felix had long overtaken them—the concept, the weight, the meaning of soulmates.

The fates might be… the fates, but Jeongin knew himself better than they did. He had given it a lot of thought the past few days, he had done so much thinking.

With the things at stake: the kingdom, the rebellion, the peace, he had wondered. Maybe it was too much of him, to wish that he could go back, to wish that he could go home to Duskwood and stay with his parents, with Wooyoung and San a walking distance away, with his kind and friendly neighbors, with the familiar streets of Duskwood.

Maybe he should let them go, he should accept his fate for what it was, and stay with his soulmates.

He would be more useful that way. He won’t cause any stupid rebellion or coup, and the kingdom will continue to be at peace. It was rational, it was a price he was willing to pay, because he wouldn’t be able to take it if things went awry and people suffered because of him, because he was too selfish to let go of his life.

The thoughts made him feel weak, it made him feel so incredibly sad he could feel his heart aching; he would long for them his whole life, his friends and family—his home. He would long for them until his very last breath.

And then he thought of Felix, that he would also need to let him go, and somehow it was harder.

This person he hadn’t known for a year, heck, it hadn’t even been half a year. This person he had just met, who had seen him in his worst moments, who had seen him cry more than his best friends, his brothers in everything but blood, his family.

It was harder to let go. A part of him refused to do so, holding on desperately like it was physically and metaphorically, unable to let go.

The thought of not seeing his friends and family ever again weighed heavily, it left him hurting, sadness so deep he could feel it in his bones—but the thought of never seeing Felix again left him breathless, like he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t go on. Like if he left, he would take the air with him and Jeongin wouldn’t survive anyway.

It was incredibly selfish and Jeongin didn’t want to be selfish. He could try lying to the whole world, but he could never lie to himself.

Perhaps he could let everything go, but he didn’t want to let Felix go.

He had no idea what that made him, and he had no idea what to do with it.

Was this love?

Would it be love if it was so selfish?

Jeongin had no idea. Thinking of it tired him to no end, but not thinking about it was just as hard. It was easier to drift away, to sleep, to slip away from the world and be unconscious, even if his sleep was always restless.

He had been so lost in his thought that when he realized, they were in front of his room, and Felix was wishing him good night, turning away to go to his room.

“Hyung,” Jeongin found himself saying. Felix paused and turned back to face him in askance, eyebrows raised slightly. “Can I stay with you tonight?” 

It was as if his body was moving before his mind was catching up, he watched as Felix blinked slowly, looking surprised.

He couldn’t believe he said that. Jeongin felt heat creeping up his face.

He’s going to know, his thoughts mocked him. He’s going to figure out that you’re grossly in love with him, and he’s going to be horrified.

But then Felix’s whole face brightened up, an excited smile on his face, “Like a sleepover?” he asked in delight, like he just won the lottery or something.

Maybe he should be grateful about it, about how dense Felix was.

Jeongin was pretty sure his whole face was red now, “Yeah,” he stammered, wishing that he could bury himself alive or something. “Like a sleepover.”

Felix beamed, practically buzzing in excitement, “Yes!” he said. “Of course you can. I’ve never had a sleepover before,” he added, a hint of wonder in his voice. “You should bring your pillows, I’ve read that sleepovers involve a lot of pillows, we can have pillow fights! Come when you’re ready!” he said before he all but sprinted into his bedroom, clearly excited about this whole thing, leaving Jeongin to deal with his embarrassment.

Jeongin, for one, was just glad that Mr. Choi only escorted them to the corridor and not to their doors, because he would’ve witnessed the whole exchange and seen how pathetic he was.

He absentmindedly went into his room and changed into something more comfortable, grabbing two of his pillows. He paused in front of Felix’s door.

Get a grip, he told himself, it’s a sleepover.

When he finally pushed the door open, he didn’t exactly expect to be greeted with a pillow thrown right at his face.

Felix’s laughter echoed through the room as he hurried over to him, “Did I throw too hard?” he asked, concerned, but a giddy smile was on his face. “I tested it on myself, and it didn’t hurt. You’re okay, right?” he asked.

It was so, so unfair. How could he ask Jeongin to fight him looking so gorgeous like that?

Instead of answering, Jeongin swung one of his pillows with one hand and hit his friend’s head.

Jeongin was convinced there was nothing he loved hearing more than Felix’s laugh. “Hey!” Felix exclaimed, and they ended up chasing after each other and flinging pillows across the room for the next fifteen, twenty minutes. Jeongin had done sleepovers before, with Wooyoung and San, and it never involved any pillow fights. They mostly just talked and joked around, and played board games or some stupid, made-up games. He had no idea what book Felix read, but the older looked like he was having the time of his life, so Jeongin supposed it didn’t really matter.

He had never had an actual pillow fight before, probably because everyone just had one pillow each back home and they didn’t exactly bring it along when they’re having a sleepover—plus bedrooms are much smaller in their houses; but the rooms here are gigantic and each bed could probably fit four people with four pillows on it even though there was only one occupant to the room. There was too much space and too few people, so a lot of the time they had no problem dodging the flying pillows.

Still, Jeongin found himself laughing along.

After a while, they found themselves sprawled on the floor, on the opposite sides of the room, panting and catching their breaths, pillows scattered everywhere.

Jeongin closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep, steadying breath. He couldn’t believe he was saying this, but he actually felt a lot better. Was it the pillow fight, or was it Felix? Maybe it was both.

When he opened his eyes, Felix was standing over him, hand extended and a grin on his face. Jeongin accepted Felix's hand, allowing him to help him up.

“That was the best pillow fight I’ve ever had in my life,” Felix declared brightly.

“You said you’ve never had one before.”

“Exactly, that’s why it was the best.”

Jeongin let out an amused huff of laughter, “C’mon, hyung,” he said. “Let’s clean up.”

They picked the pillows and gathered them all on the bed. Once they were done, Felix turned off the lights and plopped onto one side of the bed, letting out a satisfied sigh.

Hesitantly, Jeongin mirrored him on the other side of the bed as he tried to ignore the thumping in his chest. Maybe this was a horrible idea. Why did he ask for this?

“So,” Felix said from beside him. Jeongin turned to look at Felix, but his eyes hadn’t fully adjusted to the darkness, so he could barely see his face. “Wanna talk?”

“Talk?” Jeongin asked, caught off by the sudden suggestion.

“After pillow fights, it’s time to talk,” Felix explained thoughtfully. “At least, that’s what I read. That's how sleepovers usually go."

Right, of course, Felix and his book references. Jeongin supposed talking couldn't hurt.

“What do you want to talk about, hyung?”

“I don’t know,” Felix said hesitantly. “You’ve been quieter lately, is anything bothering you?” he asked. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Of course he noticed. Did Jeongin want to talk about it?

“Not really,” Jeongin replied, voice quiet. He felt a little guilty about it because he knew Felix just wanted to help, but he really didn’t want to talk about it—not yet. 

“Okay,” Felix said lightly, like he didn’t mind at all. “We could talk about something else.”

For a moment, silence enveloped the room.

“Would you tell me more about yourself, hyung?” Jeongin asked, feeling a little daring. Maybe it was easier, in the darkness of the room, where they couldn’t really see each other.

“Me?” Felix asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

Letting out a soft sigh, Jeongin continued. “Yeah. Would you tell me about the forest? What is it like living there?”

“Oh,” Felix said, pausing thoughtfully before he replied, “It’s peaceful and quiet. Maybe a little too quiet whenever uncle’s away, but it wasn’t a bad kind of quiet,” he said. “Plus, I’m not entirely alone. Do you remember Seung, the fox?”

Did Jeongin remember the fox Felix followed deep into the forest as he ignored Jeongin calling after him? Of course he did.

“Yeah?”

“He’s always around. Well, almost always around. Sometimes he’d hunt or do fox things without me, but he’s kept me company.”

“That’s nice,” Jeongin commented. Not for the first time, he thought it was strange, how Felix was able to live deep inside the forest with only his uncle. “Have you always lived in the forest?”

“For as long as I can remember. I’ve never been outside; when I first came here, it was actually my very first time outside.”

Jeongin let the words wash over him, deep in thought. “Why?” he eventually asked.

Humming thoughtfully, Felix replied, “It’s always been like that for my family. It’s been like that for decades, maybe more.”

That didn’t really answer why they were doing it, but there was something in Felix’s voice. Something Jeongin couldn’t really place, something so unlike his friend. Jeongin had a feeling if he pushed, it would just backfire.

“How was it for you,” Jeongin asked, changing the subject. “coming to the village for the first time?”

Now that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness, Jeongin could see Felix better. The older was lying on his back, eyes on the ceiling. “Coming to Duskwood was simultaneously one of the scariest and the most exciting things I’ve ever experienced in my life,” Felix admitted. “Everyone’s so nice, Wooyoung hyung and the Jungs, San hyung, Hayeon Noona, Uncle Minki…” he trailed off for  a second before adding, “You.”

Jeongin found himself smiling at that. It’s not that he didn’t know it before, but it was reassuring to hear that Felix shared the same sentiment about Duskwood. He got along with everyone so well that it was almost as if he had always lived there.

“I wish you’d come earlier,” Jeongin mumbled quietly. Somehow, it felt like a confession; he found himself hesitating a little, but the words kept spilling out stubbornly. “I wish I’d known you sooner.”

He could hear a quiet but sharp gasp coming from Felix, like Jeongin just said something surprising. Jeongin thought that it shouldn’t be surprising, it should be obvious by now, how much he enjoyed Felix’s company.

“I would’ve loved to meet you sooner,” Jeongin repeated, turning his head to look at Felix. His friend was no longer lying on his back, he was now lying on his side. Their eyes met, and Jeongin watched as Felix’s expression melted into a smile. Somehow, he thought it looked a little sad.

For a moment, Felix looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Instead, he said, “Do you think we’d be friends, too? If we had met when we were kids?” he asked, tone teasing.

If they had met when they were kids, Jeongin would have hoped that they would be dating or something by now. He would never say those increasingly embarrassing thoughts out loud, so he scoffed, “Oh, please, hyung,” he said. “You befriended the infamous Lee Minhyuk. You can certainly befriend me. In fact, I’m probably a lot easier to befriend.”

Felix chuckled in response, “That’s ridiculous,” he said. “You’re both really nice and easy to befriend.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Jeongin shot back with no heat. “We’re really not.”

Because they’re really not. He remembered being young and fighting the kids his age because they would always push him around, since he was a lot smaller than them. Wooyoung and San always came to his defense, so it wasn’t all that bad, but Jeongin wasn’t too eager to make friends after all of that, Wooyoung and San were enough. Of course, he’s made a few friends here and there, but they were just that—friends, the ones you greet when you stumble into them, the ones you engage in small talks with, the ones you never really open up to.

He remembered the first time he saw Lee Minhyuk strolling around the market with his mother, the crowd of villagers opening up the path for them, always a safe distance away. He remembered hearing the whispers, “Those nobles,” people would say as their eyes followed their every move, suspicion and distrust thick in the air. He remembered how Minhyuk would glare at everyone when he was young. Whatever that was had disappeared once he grew older, more mature, once he learned how to do those fake smiles Nobles were so good at.

“You are,” Felix said with conviction. “You’re all the nicest.”

Jeongin just rolled his eyes lazily in response. He wasn’t even sure if Felix could see it in the dark.

They settled into a comfortable silence, the only sounds in the room being the gentle rhythm of their breaths and the soft ticking of the clock on the wall.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” Jeongin began, closing his eyes. “My thoughts are kind of… all over the place. I’m sorry I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to talk about it, Innie,” Felix replied kindly. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Jeongin insisted, turning to face him. “Just… not now. Not yet.”

“Seriously, don’t worry about it. Comfort can be found in different ways, sometimes you find comfort by sharing your feelings, your thoughts. Other times, you find comfort in silent company, in your own thoughts,” Felix said. “I’m here for you however you need me, alright?”

There was just something about Felix, something that made Jeongin felt like being selfish.

Being selfish is bad, it was something his parents had taught him a long time ago. Jeongin knows this, but it didn’t help.

Maybe it was just him, he was human and humans can be selfish. Humans are naturally selfish, but it wasn’t just that. It was Felix, too. He wasn’t making it easy, not with the things he said.

“No matter what it is, I’m here, okay?”

“Anything for you, Innie.”  

“You can be selfish with me, Innie, it’s okay. I want you to be selfish with me.”

“I’m here for you however you need me, alright?”

Yeah? What if Jeongin needed him to be something more? What if being friends was starting to feel like it wasn’t enough?

What if Jeongin wanted to be selfish and greedy even though he knew he shouldn’t be?

What if it was taking Jeongin his everything not to lean forward and kiss him?

What if it was taking Jeongin his everything not to shake and spell it out for him, that he was stupidly in love with him?

Jeongin never thought much about love, but he wished someone would’ve told him that it would drive him absolutely insane. He would’ve done a better job guarding himself, then. Or he could’ve made a better attempt, he doubted he’d fare well against Felix, regardless.

“Can I get a hug, hyung?” Jeongin asked before he lost his mind, because his thoughts were spiraling down and he really thought that he could use something to ground him.

“Always,” Felix smiled that smile of his, arms open and inviting.

See? He wasn’t making it easy. It certainly didn’t help—that he looked like that, beautiful and kind and so very himself.

Jeongin didn’t need to be told twice, he scooted over and closed the distance between them, burying himself in Felix’s arms. His heart fluttered embarrassingly as he felt Felix’s arms around him, pulling him closer.

To Jeongin, Duskwood was home.

It was where he had grown up, where he belonged. It was where everyone precious to him was, it was a place he held dear in his heart.

But perhaps it wasn’t so strange, that here, miles and miles away from Duskwood, Jeongin was home, too.

 

---

 

The next morning, Felix woke up really early. He tried going back to sleep to no avail, so he slowly disentangled himself from Jeongin, careful not to wake him up. The sun wasn’t even up yet and he was as awake as he could be, so he decided to pay Dongja a visit. Somehow, Felix felt bad for the horse, he must be very lonely, being separated like that from the other horses.

Felix wasn't a stranger to the feeling. After all, he had lived just like that before he came to Duskwood. He lived like that by choice, though, and he wasn't sure if Dongja was there by choice. Perhaps why he felt a sense of kinship with the horse.

He tried to be as quiet as possible as he washed his face and brushed his teeth, slipping out of the bedroom. To his relief, Jeongin remained peacefully asleep.

Arriving at the stables, Felix was surprised to find the stable hands already hard at work, caring for the horses—cleaning the stables, feeding and grooming them. Yongjae was there with two other men. He enthusiastically introduced them to Felix. Just as enthusiastically, he all but dragged Felix toward Dongja and asked Felix to pet him, turning in excitement to his coworkers when the horse came over and let Felix do just that. Felix sweatdropped as they clapped, feeling like it was too early in the morning for whatever this was.

He offered to help feed Dongja, which was initially refused but he wasn’t backing down, so they let him. Apparently, whoever was responsible to care for Dongja had to wear all kinds of protective gears, because he really bites. Felix felt bad for them, and he felt back for Dongja too, which was why he insisted on helping out. He ended up doing much more than feeding the horse, he helped refill his water and brush him, keeping him busy while Jaebom, one of Yongjae's coworker, quickly cleaned up the area around him. Dongja seemed to enjoy it a lot. When Felix was done, the horse all but rested his head on Felix’s shoulder as if he didn’t want Felix to go. Felix promised that he’d visit him again tomorrow, but now he had to get himself cleaned up because he smelled like horses. He wanted to check out the library before breakfast. The stable hands thanked him profusely as he left, so Felix gave a bright smile as he brushed them off, he enjoyed taking care of Dongja.

After a quick bath and change of clothes, Felix made his way to the library. Jeongin was still dead to the world during all of that. The sun was up now, and he had about an hour or two before it was time for breakfast.

Felix didn’t know what he expected, but he sure wasn’t expecting that there was an actual librarian in the library. Minhyuk’s library was impressive but there was no librarian; but Felix guessed that it shouldn’t be all that surprising, that the royal family was on a different level.

The librarian was a middle-aged woman with sharp eyes and a polite smile called Mrs. Jang. She had asked him what he was looking for and told him that he was free to read and borrow any books but the ones in the restricted section, which was the private collection of the Prince and his Soulmates. Felix was naturally curious about the section; he wondered what kind of books were in there, but he wasn’t going to look for trouble by breaking the rules. Besides, the restricted section was actually kept behind a locked door, so it’s not like he could get to them even if he tried.

As expected, the Palace Library was impressive. It was much bigger than the library in the Lee Estate. Felix immediately went looking for the magic and sorcery section, wanting to look into anything that could help.

Back home he had gone through a few of Hayeon’s books, looking for spells and enchantments that could affect a large area, spells that could affect the ground, because that was where Felix saw the ashes coming from. The spells they had found were mostly spells to help fertilize soils, Hayeon had told him that such spells needed a lot of magic and didn’t last that long, so it wasn’t something magicians and sorcerers would offer to people—they’re better off using regular fertilizers, that would be much cheaper and more effective.

Felix grabbed a few books absentmindedly, he had never learned about magic properly, so he grabbed the ones that seemed to be good for beginners. He kept on reading until he could actually feel a very literal headache forming. All these things about magical theory and runes were killing him.

Discouraged, Felix pushed himself up and picked up the books to put it away. Maybe he should find something entertaining to read, that would certainly help make him feel better.

Or maybe he should try reading about soulmates.

He was starting to feel a little anxious and restless after his talk with Jeongin. The fact that he was currently living in the same building with his—with Jeongin’s—with these people didn’t help. Theoretically, he knew they were safe; they were safe as long as their soulmate bonds weren’t established, as long as they weren’t fully formed; that was what he had been told. As long as they had no idea that Felix was their soulmate, there was no way that would happen, right?

It was then Felix realized that he didn’t know all that much about soulmates, what causes soulmate bonds to be fully formed, to be established?

He wasn’t even supposed to worry about this, because he was supposed to stay in the forest—away from people, away from his soulmates. He wasn’t supposed to meet them, to know them by name. No one ever ventured too deep into the forest, but Felix didn’t want to risk it, that’s why he had gone through with it.

He had gone to great lengths to ensure that no one could feel his pain, just in case his soulmate was a very weird person who somehow liked venturing very deep into the forest. He didn’t know that he was going to be the one going out into the world, but Felix was certainly grateful that he had gone out of his way to ensure that his soulmate couldn’t feel his pain. His soulmates.

But now, sitting here with them too close for comfort, Felix had to make sure that he knew what he was doing. He had to make sure that their bonds would never be fully formed. He couldn’t do that if he didn’t know what exactly establishes soulmate bonds.

The realization of his ignorance sent fear spiking in his mind. After putting the books away, he went through the aisles in a hurry, desperately looking for books on soulmates.

Letting out a breath of relief when he found a whole section dedicated to the topic, Felix quickly picked a few books to read, putting them down on the table. He took a seat and considered the books in front of him, wondering which he would start with.

“What are you reading?” A voice asked before he could make a decision.

Startled, Felix jumped in surprise and turned to find Minho who was holding a cat in his arms, curiously eyeing the open book on the table.

“Your Highness!” Felix stammered. Clearing his throat to compose himself, he continued, “Good morning.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Minho said before he moved, taking the seat across Felix, placing the cat on his lap. “Curious about soulmates?”

Great, this was just what Felix needed, one of them seeing him like this. Why was Minho here so early in the morning, anyway? Granted, they lived in different parts of the palace so apart from meal times, Felix had no idea about their schedule or lifestyle, but he didn’t expect him to be here at this hour.

Trying to brush it off, Felix let out an awkward laugh, “Something like that.”

“Yeah?” Minho asked, seemingly intrigued, which was just fantastic for Felix, “What do you want to know?”

Was it too late to take it back, to say that he wasn’t curious about soulmates at all and was just reading the book because he was bored or something? Felix thought that Minho looked like the kind of person who wouldn’t buy such cheap lies.

“I don’t know,” Felix said with a slight grimace on his face. “I just thought that… it seemed interesting—the books, so I thought I’d give them a read?”

Minho hummed in response, and for a second, Felix thought he had done it. He thought Minho would stop prodding and leave or something, but of course life was never that easy. “Have you found yours?” He asked instead. “Your soulmate?”

You see, Felix could talk about soulmates, as long as it wasn’t about his own—talking to Jeongin about soulmates could be hard at times but it was doable as long as he pretended that his soulmates weren’t Felix’s, as long as he didn’t acknowledge that fact. He wasn’t exactly planning to discuss soulmates with the others, especially when the topic of discussion was Felix’s soulmates.

He needed to calm down. It was going to be fine. As long as he didn’t tell them, they would never know. He had nothing to worry about.

“Felix?”

“No,” Felix said quickly. “I… no.”

Minho’s eyes were sharp and calculating, and Felix wondered for a second if he had ruined it all, he didn’t think out loud, right?

“Ah,” Minho said. “Are you excited to meet them?”

Felix felt a sense of déjà vu. Didn’t he have this conversation before? Back in Duskwood, with Minhyuk. Only, Felix didn’t mind talking about soulmates with Minhyuk. He very much minded talking about soulmates with Minho.

“Um,” Felix responded eloquently, Minhyuk would be so proud of him. “Not really, no.”

Eyebrows raised, Minho asked “Why’s that?” Felix had no idea why Minho was so interested in Felix’s soulmate, he wished Minho would just leave him alone or something. “Oh, is it like Jeongin?”

Felix blinked. “Like Jeongin?”

“Yeah. Do you have someone else in mind?”

Someone else in mind? “No,” Felix responded a little too quickly. “It’s just…” Felix trailed off, feeling helpless, not knowing what to say.

The best lies are rooted in truth, he repeated in his mind. He got this.

“I’m more of a loner, I guess,” he said eventually.

“You’re more of a loner?” Minho repeated incredulously, like Felix just said something completely ridiculous.

“Yeah?”

Minho shook his head, an amused smile on his face, “You must be a very sociable loner,” he commented. “I heard you’ve been getting along well with the staff. That’s not very loner-like.”

Felix swallowed, he might not have learned anything new about soulmates just yet since Minho caught him before he could actually read the book, but he had learned something. He had learned that Minho was curious and relentless, like a cat. “Everyone is so nice here and I like people,” he admitted. “But I’ve always… that’s how I’ve always imagined it, I guess. How I’ve always wanted it.”

“It?”

“Life,” Felix said, flashing him a smile in hopes that it would hide how desperate he was for this conversation to be over. “The future. I’ve always planned to spend it alone.”

If Minho asked him why one more time, he might just blurt out some stupid reason just to get away from him. He didn’t care Minho could see that the excuse was a lie, he wasn’t going to sit here and talk about his soulmates to him. To anyone.

Fortunately for Felix, the cat that was in Minho’s lap suddenly leaped onto the table. It sat down, facing Felix, eyes curious and not so unlike his human.

“Hi,” Felix said to the cat, smiling, grateful for the distraction. “What’s your name?”

“Dori,” Minho answered for him, which was a little disappointing, because Felix thought for half a second that he had finally gained the ability to talk to animals and the cat was the one answering him.

Felix shot a grateful smile to Minho before turning his attention back to Dori. “I’m Felix,” he said.

The cat tilted its head, looking like he was considering whether he liked Felix’s name or not before it stood up and came closer. It jumped down onto Felix’s lap, settling down and curling up like he had decided that it was a suitable place to nap.

“Huh,” Minho said, a hint of surprise in his tone. Felix glanced up at him, wondering what had caused that reaction. Shrugging, Minho said, “It seems like he likes you.”

For the first time since Minho entered the library, Felix gave him a genuine, bright smile, “I like him too, Your Highness.”

 

---

 

When he wasn’t pestering Felix about soulmates, Minho was actually a pleasant company. He had told him about his other cats, Soonie and Doongie, the ones Felix hadn’t met. Felix listened with interest as he sprouted things about his cats—he clearly liked them a lot.

Dori was content to nap on Felix’s time the entire time, which Minho found amusing. Apparently, Dori was on the mischievous side and wouldn’t usually let anyone other than Minho pet him, so him peacefully sleeping on Felix’s lap was fascinating to him.

Not too long after, one of the royal guards came and told them that it was time for breakfast, so Felix and Minho stood up to follow him to the dining room.

They had a somewhat quiet meal. Felix didn’t mind because he got a little lost in his thoughts as well. He still hadn’t found anything that could help explain what was going on in the forest, and his conversation with Minho, particularly the part about soulmates, left Felix feeling even more anxious. He had to find a way to sneak into the library and read those soulmate books, and he had to ensure that no one catches him just like Minho did. He really didn't want to talk about his soulmates, and anyone finding him reading soulmate-related books in the library was literally a recipe for that particular conversation. 

After breakfast, he was just going to ask Jeongin if he wanted to do anything together when Jisung approached him enthusiastically, declaring that he had found the perfect piece Felix could start with. It took Felix a few seconds to realize that Jisung was talking about the piano.

If Felix was being honest, he wasn’t really in the mood for that, but Jisung was very excited about it so he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to try. Turning to Jeongin, Felix asked, “Do you wanna join us, Innie?” he asked, hopeful. This could be it, the chance he had been looking for. Jeongin could come and join them and he would start getting along with Jisung.

Jeongin hesitated, his gaze shifting between Felix and Jisung, “Maybe next time, hyung,” he said. “I haven’t started writing my replies.”

“Oh,” Felix said, unable to hide his disappointment. “Are you sure? I haven’t finished mine, too. We can do it later?”

Jeongin shook his head, “It’s okay, I want to do mine now. See you at lunch, hyung,” he said with a smile, and then he was gone.

Turning to Jisung, Felix thought he could see a hint of disappointment on his face as well. He felt bad now. Jeongin was the one who was supposed to spend time with these people, not Felix.

“C’mon,” Jisung said, pulling Felix out of his thoughts. He grabbed Felix’s wrist and started dragging him deeper into the East Wing, the opposite direction Felix thought they were supposed to go.

He was just going to ask him about it when they stopped in front of a door, Jisung pushed it open and Felix couldn’t believe he was so stupid. Of course they had more than one piano. By this point, he should be surprised when they have only one of something.

Jisung didn’t waste any time, they sat in front of the piano and he started playing the song for Felix.

“What do you think?” he asked expectantly when he was finished.

Felix considered it. “It definitely looks easier than the one you were playing the other day,” he said. “It’s very short, too.”

“Right?” Jisung grinned. “I think you’ll be able to learn this one in no time! Here,” he said, and then he started teaching Felix how to play it.

The song was definitely a lot simpler than what Jisung was playing the other day, Felix was starting to feel optimistic when he realized that each of his hands only needed to press a note, two at most, at any time—as opposed to the ridiculous song Jisung tried to teach him before.

They kept at it for a while, and Felix was able to memorize the notes for the most part; he could kinda play the song now, even though he played it a lot slower than Jisung and he still got the notes wrong here and there, he was still satisfied with his progress.

When he was finally able to play it without pausing too much at one part, Jisung clapped for him, “You did it!” he exclaimed as he excitedly grabbed Felix’s arm, shaking it in excitement.

“I did it!” Felix echoed, beaming. “It’s thanks to you, thank you!”

“Me?” Jisung laughed. “You did it!”

“You taught me to, I couldn’t do it without you,” Felix grinned, because he really can’t. Jisung had been very patient with him, and whenever he played a little better than his previous try, he was just as delighted as Felix, even though it must’ve been something so small and insignificant to him—Felix didn’t have to be able to play the piano to know that Jisung was good at it, and to know that the song he had played the other day was a lot harder than the one Felix was just starting to learn.

“I can’t wait to show Innie,” Felix said. “Maybe when I can finally play it without making too many mistakes.”

“Does he like music, too?” Jisung asked, curious.

“He likes singing,” Felix answered. “I think he’ll like this, too. You should play some songs for him, I think he’ll be very impressed.”

“Yeah?” Jisung perked up, seemingly excited but also a little nervous. “I’ll have to practice then, make sure that I’m playing properly. You really think he’ll like it?”

“Yeah, I really think so.”

Jisung gave him a bright smile before he spoke, sounding hesitant, “Do you think I can be friends with him?”

Felix brightened up at that, Jisung wants to be friends with Jeongin! This was great. Felix hadn’t suggested anything to Jeongin, not after the conversation they had about friends and non-hostile acquaintances, but he thought that Jeongin wouldn’t be as opposed to the idea of being friends now that they’d all come to an understanding. “You can definitely be friends,” he declared, sounding a lot more excited than he wanted to be. “You just need to spend some time together, talk some more.”

“That would be a great idea,” Jisung said. “I was actually thinking that maybe we can have like, tea in the gardens? Do you think he’d like that?”

Tea in the gardens? Like a picnic? “I’m sure he’d love it,” Felix replied. This was it, the thing he had been waiting for. They were finally going to spend some time with Jeongin. Felix was excited.

“You think?”

“Yeah!”

Jisung was physically buzzing with excitement now. “Do you know what kind of tea he likes?”

Felix gave it a thought, “He drinks a lot of black tea."

“Great!” Jisung replied. “What about you?”

“Me?” Felix asked, surprised.

Jisung nodded. “What kind of tea do you like?”

Blinking slowly, Felix responded, confused. “Why?”

Jisung mirrored his expression, “What do you mean why?” he asked. “So that we can ask the staff to prepare it for you?”

Felix paused as his mind turned, processing Jisung’s words and what he implied. “You want me to come, too?” he asked in disbelief.

“Of course you’re coming,” Jisung said incredulously. “Why won’t you? Do you not want to?”

Shaking his head, Felix replied, “No, it’s just that… I thought you wanted to spend some time together, you know, as soulmates.”

Felix thought that Jisung’s smile looked wistful when he said, “I was asking you about being friends with Jeongin. Being friends is enough. You said it yourself, he has someone else in mind, right?”

“Right,” Felix said slowly. He wished Jeongin would introduce this mysterious person to him. It didn’t really matter to Felix who Jeongin ended up with as long as he was happy, but he had met Jisung and the others, and he had witnessed it himself, that they were great people, that they were kind. On the other hand, Felix hadn’t met this person just yet, so sometimes he couldn’t help but worry.

“So you’re coming too!” Jisung smiled brightly. “We’re friends, right?”

“…Really?”

Jisung’s face fell at that, “You don’t think so?”

“No, I mean,” Felix said quickly, faltering for words. “I would be honored to be your friend, Your Highness.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jisung said, face scrunched. “Just so you know, friends don’t refer to each other as your highness.”

Smiling sheepishly, Felix responded, “Well, maybe that’s because none of them are the literal, future leader of a kingdom.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Jisung insisted, pouting. “Friends get a pass, a special pass! C’mon! You can call me Jisung! Say it!”

Yeah, no, Felix wasn’t going to do that. Jisung was really nice and friendly, but he was still one of the future kings. Felix wasn’t going to call him by his name. Wait, does that mean Jeongin was also, technically, a future king?

Thinking about kings made Felix’s head spin, so he stood up, “Look at that, it’s almost lunchtime,” he said quickly. “I should go get Jeongin. See you at lunch, Your Highness!” he blurted out before he practically sprinted away from the room, ignoring Jisung’s betrayed hey!

 

---

 

When Felix entered his room, he found Jeongin sound asleep on his bed.

It was, in fact, too early for lunch, so Felix thought that it would be the perfect time to write his letters.

Felix should really get them done soon, because he needed Wooyoung and San to reply as soon as possible. He had asked them about Jeongin’s favorite food, maybe even the recipes from Mrs. Yang. Felix was sure that a delicious meal would be able to cheer his friend up, even a little. He was planning to make it himself—he had asked the cooks if he could do that, and they were willing to let him cook for Jeongin with supervision.

He just needed to ask for permission now, probably Seungmin’s because he was the prince. Seungmin was nice, though, so Felix thought he would probably be okay with it.

Sitting down, he decided to reread Minhyuk’s letter before writing down his reply.

 

Felix,

I’m glad you guys made it there just fine, and that things are going well.

I’ve asked one of our gardeners to work with Mr. Yang for now. He used to work in the fields before he came to work with us, back in his hometown. It took some convincing, but Mr. and Mrs. Yang had finally accepted the help. Don’t worry about the payments, I’ve got it covered.

I know I told you about the Committee meeting, which I was supposed to attend a few days ago. I did go, but unfortunately, there were some arguments within the Committee, the kind that can’t be resolved in one meeting, so they’ve scheduled another one. My Father has delegated this whole thing to me, so I’ve got to see this through. I hope we’ll be able to resolve everything in the next meeting, because I can’t come to the capital otherwise.

I’ll keep you updated and come as soon as I can. I know you said things are going well so far, but I’d worry less if I was there with you.

In the meantime, stay safe. Remember the things we discussed, the things I told you.

I’m glad Jeongin is well, all things considered, but how are you faring? They’re letting you stay there with him?

I know you’re there for him, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, alright? I’m always a letter away, and if you need me there now I’ll ditch the meetings and come anyway, so just let me know, yeah? Write me if you need anything.

Mother sends you her regards.

 

Hope to hear from you soon,

Minhyuk

 

 

Minhyuk’s letter was a little worrying. He wondered what the Committee was arguing about. The fact that Minhyuk meant it when he said he was coming with Felix was reassuring, although Felix had no idea how he was supposed to keep the fact that Jeongin’s soulmate was the literal prince a secret when he comes. He missed his friend, and he didn’t want him to be stuck at the Committee meetings, but he was a little relieved. At least, he didn’t have to worry about what to tell him for now.

Thanking Minhyuk for his assistance, Felix insisted that Minhyuk and Mrs. Lee had done so much for him he couldn’t ask them for more, so he was sending the rest of his money along with the letter.

Felix knew that Seugmin said he was going to cover the fees, but he genuinely wanted to help, too. Besides, they haven’t talked to him about it and he wasn’t going to bring it up during mealtimes. Seungmin had seemed exhausted the past few days, looking like he barely got any sleep. 

He sent his regards to Mrs. Lee and wished that both she and Minhyuk were doing well. Lastly, he told Minhyuk not to worry about him, that everyone here was really kind and he was doing well.

Satisfied with his reply, Felix sealed it and gave Hayeon’s letter a once over before writing his reply to her.

 

Noona,

I’m sorry, but I’ll be staying here with Jeongin. I really have no idea how long we’re going to stay, but it might be a while before I can come back.

I wish I could go, you know I want to figure out what’s wrong with the forest as well. The place we’re staying at has a library, so I’ll do some research here, but I can’t go back just yet.

I’ve examined the sample you sent, and I can’t see anything, no ashes, no residual magic. I don’t know what that means, but at least, it's proof that your assumption is correct. Whatever was wrong is gone, whatever magic was there is gone.

Feel free to send me samples or stuff anytime, I’ll be happy to look at them for you.

By the way, I’m planning to pay the Guild of Magic a visit, since they might know a thing or two about my uncle. Not too soon, but eventually. Do you know anyone there? Anyone who wouldn’t mind helping, maybe?

Also, please say hi to Byeol for me, Noona. And you’re still going back and forth into the forest to investigate, please be careful.

 

Stay safe,

Felix

 

p.s. I don’t know if you want the sample back so just in case, I’m sending it back to you. Also, with this letter, I’m returning the money you gave for mailing fees, you don’t need to worry about that. Thanks for everything and I’m sorry I can’t be back as soon as I thought, Noona, I promise I’ll make it up to you.

 

---

 

It was dark.

Felix was stumbling, running through the woods. It was dark and he wasn’t supposed to be out here, he was supposed to be home. He wasn’t supposed to go too far, not alone.

He promised.

Something was terribly wrong, something dark and ominous. Something he was supposed to know, because he knew this, didn’t he? But he couldn’t seem to think of it, his thoughts were a jumbled mess and his mind was a blur, much like the forest around him.

He needed to go home. He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to experience it again, he didn’t want to see.

 

Felix woke up with a gasp.

Sweat covered his body, and his heart hammered loudly in his chest.

In front of him was Jeongin’s sleeping face, peaceful and unconscious to the world.

He couldn’t stay here.

He needed to leave, he needed to go now.

 

---

 

Some nights, Hyunjin struggled to sleep.

Some nights, his thoughts refused to stop—they refused to let him rest.

This night was one of those nights. Hyunjin knew that sleep wouldn't come to him anytime soon, so he slowly got up, careful not to make too much noise. Thankfully, Changbin didn’t even stir.

The guards stationed in front of the room bowed, and Hyunjin was too distraught to think about it, so he barely acknowledged them.

Hyunjin went through the hallways mindlessly, not entirely sure where he was heading. The hallways were deserted and dark save for the one where their rooms were located.

He needed to clear his mind, maybe fresh air would do him some good.

The night was chilly, so Hyunjin was glad he had the mind to put on an extra layer of robe.

As he made his way to the courtyard, he noticed a figure in the distance, seemingly in a hurry. Feeling curious and suspicious, Hyunjin hurried after them, wondering who the heck it was and what were they doing at this hour.

The individual came to a stop once they reached the courtyard, and as Hyunjin inched closer, he could hear their heavy breathing. It also became very clear, who they were.

“Felix?” he called out tentatively.

Felix jolted at the sound of his name, head snapping in Hyunjin’s direction. His eyes were wide and he was still breathing heavily, seemingly terrified.

“What are you doing here?”

Notes:

happy 100k words! honestly, i can’t believe i just typed that lol. if you’re still here, thank you!!! for the kudos, hits, comments, bookmarks and subscriptions, they all make me the happiest! 💓💓💓

honestly when i first started, i expected to have maybe like ten people reading this but i think there are more than ten people here, so really, thank you.

as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday the latest (earlier if i finished early). i hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 19: Golden Days

“Hey… are you alright?” Hyunjin asked, stepping closer, concerned.

Instead of answering, Felix stepped back. He was looking at Hyunjin like he terrified him. Hyunjin knew he hadn’t been the nicest, but he had apologized, so he didn’t think Felix had to be terrified of him. His reaction puzzled him.

Then he remembered how the other had been in a hurry, how frantic his moves and breathing were even before he knew Hyunjin was there, so maybe it wasn’t him.

Felix remained visibly shaken, though. Hyunjin didn’t want to make it worse, so he took a small step behind, giving him space.

Gradually, Felix started calming down. He took a deep, steadying breath.

“What happened?” Hyunjin asked hesitantly. “Bad dream?”

When Felix looked at him, there wasn’t fear in his eyes, not anymore. He opened his mouth to answer, but then decided against it. He gave a small nod in response.

Hyunjin winced in sympathy. “Would you like to come inside and have a cup of tea? It’s freezing out here.”

Felix swallowed hard, but he answered with his voice this time. “No,” he responded, voice barely a whisper. “I need to see,” he said, seemingly struggling for words.

“See?”

“The stars,” Felix breathed. “I need to see the stars.”

The stars? Hyunjin almost asked, but he was able to stop himself.

He wasn’t sure why Felix needed to look at the stars, but he thought it seemed like it meant a lot to him. Like Seungmin and that old, worn storybook he kept close in his study, the one he’d sometimes hold like it was a precious gem, eyes distant. Like that one sword sheath Changbin had, the only one he was willing to use all these years.

Silently, he watched as Felix took another deep breath, before he slowly tilted his face toward the night sky. Hyunjin thought he looked a little nervous, like he was afraid of what he’d find. Hyunjin had the urge to look up, too, if only to see if the stars were visible tonight, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Felix.

He kept his eyes fixed on him, hoping that the sky was clear tonight.

It was almost like he saw it all in slow motion. Hyunjin watched as Felix seemed to relax, tension and nervousness slowly bleeding out of his body. He didn’t even need to look up to know that the stars were visible.

Now that Felix looked like he wasn’t a terrified animal being cornered, Hyunjin finally allowed himself to glance at the sky. He let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of the stars scattered across it, clouds nowhere to be found.

Hyunjin always thought the stars were pretty, but somehow tonight, it struck him like a sudden realization. The stars were pretty. He found himself sneaking a glance at Felix, eyes drawn to the freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose, across his face; he wondered why the other needed to desperately rush outside to look for the stars when he already had them on his skin.

It took him a few seconds to realize what he was thinking. He cleared his throat and hoped that it would clear his mind, too. It was clearly too late in the night for him and his feeble little brain, that’s why his thoughts were rather insane.

“Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea?” Hyunjin offered again. He had nightmares sometimes and if he wasn’t quiet enough and accidentally woke anyone with him, especially when that person was Minho, the older would make him a cup of tea, which always helped. He thought it would help Felix, too. It didn’t matter that Hyunjin still hadn’t made up his mind about him. He didn’t even like him in particular, but Felix had seen the stars and the night was cold. Hyunjin thought that he wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion. Hyunjin had an extra layer on and he was freezing. “It’ll help you feel better.”

It didn’t matter to Hyunjin that Seungmin was convinced Felix was a good guy. It didn’t matter that Jisung shared the sentiment, always seemingly happy to spend the time with him. It didn’t matter that Changbin thought Felix was some sort of a horse-whisperer, taming Dongja with seemingly no effort, or that Chan thought he was really kind and loyal after the display he shown for Jeongin.

People always had a motive, and he still hadn’t figured Felix’s out. That kept his guard up.

Even Minho was convinced that Felix was great, with the most ridiculous reason so far—because Dori liked him.

Dori the cat, which Hyunjin not-so-kindly pointed out.

“My cats are excellent judges of character,” Minho retorted.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “You’re just saying that because they like you,” he said. “And they like you because they’re yours. If—” he faltered for a moment because Minho was giving him his signature threatening look, the one he always reserved just for Hyunjin. “…If they’re not yours, they would still like you! Because you have an excellent character,” Hyunjin hastily said, because he cared about his life.

Minho merely squinted at him, like he was contemplating whether to end Hyunjin's life then and there.

In the end, he decided not to and Hyunjin survived.

Hyunjin only said all those things to survive. It didn’t matter what anyone said or thought, he was going to make up his mind about Felix all by himself.

Felix turned to him like he just remembered that Hyunjin was there with him, seemingly in a daze.

His expression melted into a smile, small but sincere. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said, gazing back toward the sky. “I think I’ll stay here a little longer.”

Hyunjin wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with him. He barely knew Felix, but the sight of him staring at the stars like they were his lifeline ignited an ache in his chest—like what happens when he reads a sad poem or a sad story. He had no idea what was so sad about Felix looking at the stars, but it was sadness, the thing he felt.

He almost offered to stay with him, it didn’t matter that they barely talked to each other, and one of the only times Hyunjin was talking to him he was being intentionally petty and rude. Thankfully, he remembered how insane his thoughts were at the moment, which sobered him up. It was probably a bad idea, to spend more time with Felix when he was clearly incapable of thinking clearly. Hyunjin managed to stop himself from offering.

“Alright,” he said instead. “Good night.”

Felix gave him a warm look, “Good night, Your Highness,” and then he turned his back, redirecting his attention back to the sky.

Instead of hurrying inside, Hyunjin found himself hesitating. He sighed inwardly.

Whatever. He didn’t have to like the guy to be a decent human being.

Quietly, he removed his robe, draping it over Felix’s shoulder.

“Keep it, you need it more than I do,” he said, before he hurried away, not letting the other say anything. Faintly, he thought he heard a small thank you from behind him.

Here’s what he knew.

Lee Felix was Jeongin’s friend, and supposedly, the one he loved.

The one he chose over them.

Cats and horses liked him, not that it mattered to Hyunjin.

Seungmin and Jisung liked him, and maybe that mattered a little.

Hyunjin also knew that Felix had nightmares—intense ones, if he had to guess, and that there was something about stars, for him.

All of that combined wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to make up his mind about him, so that would have to wait. Hyunjin would have to watch him for a while longer.

Perhaps that was a job for another day, because suddenly, he felt a little sleepy. Maybe sleep would come to him now.

 

---

 

Seungmin wished he wasn’t here. He wished Chan would take a hint and leave him alone.

“Talk to me, Minnie,” Chan pleaded, voice laced with worry. “You can’t keep this up. You’ll collapse.”

“I’m fine,” Seungmin said. He kept his eyes fixed on the papers in front of him. “I just need to get this done.”

Seungmin didn’t even need to look up to see the frown on Chan’s face, he could practically sense it. “You need to rest,” Chan insisted.

“That’s rich, coming from you, hyung,” he retorted. “I’m fine.”

“Seungmin-ah,” Chan pressed on. “I know you’re worried, I am too, but this is not helping. You need to talk to me, talk to us.”

Seungmin knew that, he didn’t need Chan to tell him that. He was planning to do just that eventually. Not now, not today.

“I’ll just get this done first,” Seungmin said, tone clipped. “We can talk later.”

“Love,” Chan said, desperate. “Please let me help. I can—”

“I don’t need help!” Seungmin snapped, Seungmin half-shouted, really. Guilt stirred his stomach as soon as he realized what he just did, but the anger and frustration still won. It didn’t matter to him, how hurt Chan looked at that moment. The anger burning in him was bigger, stronger—it drowned his other thoughts with ease. Averting his eyes, Seungmin declared, “I’m going to get some air.”

Not waiting for a reply, he made a beeline for the door, brushing past Chan in his haste. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he needed to get away from here, from his soulmate.

He threw a heated glare at the royal guards, and thankfully, they knew him well enough to understand that he didn’t want any of them to follow him.

The hallways blurred past him as he rushed, his mind spinning with a whirlwind of emotions.

He knew Chan was just trying to help. He was always trying to help.

Seungmin didn’t want any help. He was just working on some paperwork, he was perfectly capable of getting it done without anyone’s help.

Deep down, he knew Chan wasn’t talking about the paperwork; he was talking about everything. Seungmin realized that, he knew that, but it was a lot easier to be angry this way. It was easier than talking it out with Chan, with everyone, because he knew they were all worried about him.

Seungmin wasn’t stupid. He knew things were getting to him.

But with everything that was going on, the council and the people, the break-in, his own father shutting him out, the lack of news about this mother… it was all too much for him. He had bottled it all up for so long that, at this moment, the easiest thing was to let his anger explode.

Chan probably didn’t deserve it. He definitely didn’t deserve it, Seungmin knew, but he wished his lover knew a little better—he wished he’d listen to him and give him some space. He was worried, and he had the right to be worried, but Seungmin never liked being pushed.

One second he was deep in his thoughts, grappling with his guilt and trying to work through his anger, the next second all his thoughts seemed to evaporate. Seungmin stopped in his tracks, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

A few meters ahead stood Felix, who had also come to an abrupt stop, a startled expression plastered across his face.

Seungmin probably wore a similar expression, because Felix was drenched.

And he was covered in hay.

“Good morning, Your Highness,” Felix greeted, pretending like everything was perfectly normal and wasn’t… whatever was going on here, Seungmin had no idea what to call that.

Seungmin blinked. And then he blinked again.

And then, despite himself, he felt the corners of his lips twitching upward. He didn’t want to, it might come across as rude, and he swore he wasn't laughing. Yet, he couldn't help himself.

“Good morning, Felix,” Seungmin said, coming closer. “What happened to you?”

“I had an accident,” Felix replied, looking somewhat embarrassed. Not so subtly, he tried brushing the hay off his clothes, but they were thoroughly soaked so it stuck stubbornly. Frustration flickered across his face as he tried to rid himself of the troublesome hay, as if personally offended by it. Eventually, he seemed to realize that his efforts were futile. He let out a defeated huff.

Seungmin thought that he should worry less about the ones on his clothes and do something about the ones on his head, because those were the ones making it a challenge for Seungmin not to smile. Or laugh.

Trying his best to suppress his smile, Seungmin responded, “I can see that.”

Now that he thought about it, Felix’s robe looked familiar. Didn’t Hyunjin have something just like that?

Felix grimaced, “I slipped,” he explained. He didn’t seem that eager to expand on that. “I should probably… go get myself cleaned up,” he mumbled something about needing to prepare himself for breakfast before looking at Seungmin again. “Are you out for a stroll, Your Highness?”

Seungmin paused, suddenly remembering why he was there.

It was then he realized that whatever anger he had was entirely gone.

“I was going to,” he replied. “But I just remembered something important, so I think it will have to wait.”

That important thing being to apologize to Chan, and maybe to let him drag Seungmin into that talk he’d rather not have.

“Okay,” Felix said cheerfully, smiling. “See you at breakfast, Your Highness.”

Returning the smile, Seungmin replied, “See you at breakfast.”

He watched as Felix hurriedly walked past him, careful to keep his distance. He looked even funnier from behind, because there was even more hay on his back; probably because he couldn’t see them.

Now that also he couldn’t see Seungmin, though, Seungmin allowed himself to chuckle silently.

Whenever he was angry, his soulmates would usually give him some space, and he would eventually cool down and come back to them.

But maybe sometimes, someone drenched with hay all over them would also do the trick.

 

---

 

Felix couldn’t believe his luck, or should he say, his lack of it.

His day started premature, thanks to his nightmare. He ended up staying up all night, there in the courtyard, staring at the sky.

There was something about the sky, something he couldn’t really remember, but it was there; somewhere in his mind.

He wasn’t particularly pressed about remembering, so he took it as it was—he had to see the stars. There were stars in the sky, and that was good. That was a good sign. That meant something, he didn’t know what precisely, but it had calmed him down.

When the sun started peeking, he pushed himself up and made his way to the library. Thinking that maybe this time, he would be able to look at those soulmate books and learn a thing or two.

Unfortunately for him, that wasn’t the case. Minho was already in the library even though the sun was barely out.

That couldn’t be normal, right?

Not that he had the right to say anything about it, because he was exactly the same.

But with Minho there, there was no way Felix was going anywhere near the soulmate section.

Aimlessly, he went through the aisles, picking a random storybook that looked mildly intriguing. He would’ve been thrilled to go through the palace’s impressive collection of fiction books, but he had too many things in his mind—things that weighed too heavily to his liking.

Taking a seat across Minho, they both settled into a comfortable silence, focusing on their own book. Minho would start a small talk, from time to time, but they spent most of their time reading.

After a while, Felix felt that his brain wasn’t functioning particularly well today—the lack of sleep was probably not helping, so he stood and excused himself, heading to the stables to spend time with the horses.

In hindsight, going to the stables when he was sleep-deprived might not have been the wisest. He climbed over the fences as he always did, but unfortunately, he lost his balance when he landed, causing him to tumble into the watering trough, the one that was filled with what was supposed to be Dongja’s drinking water.

The cold shocked him out of his skin, and he quickly scrambled to his feet, tripping on himself and falling on a pile of hay.

Felix didn’t speak horse, but he thought that Dongja looked quite amused.

He pouted, “Don’t laugh at me.”

Dongja, of course, said nothing in response. He watched as Felix picked himself up and, with a sigh, clambered back over the fence, muttering a quiet see you later, or tomorrow, I don’t know. I have had my share of the stable and hay for the day.

It didn’t end there. He had to run into Seungmin, who, for a brief moment, regarded Felix as if he were a madman. Felix was fairly certain that Seungmin found the situation rather amusing.

It was fine, he supposed it would look funny, but that really didn’t help make his day better since the only thing Felix felt throughout their brief exchange was a very intense feeling of embarrassment.

He was in the bathroom when he realized that he had got Hyunjin’s robe all wet, which now carried the distinct smell of horses and was covered in hay.

Great.

Just when Felix thought that the man didn’t hate him that much. He would probably hate him now. Were robes expensive? Felix hoped not, because he wasn't working and he had sent the rest of his money to Minhyuk, as the payment for Mr. Jang’s helper.

Breakfast was uneventful.

Felix was mostly trying not to fall asleep, and then it suddenly hit him.

He didn’t want to sleep—he didn’t want to fall asleep. What if he had another nightmare?

His nightmare didn’t even make much sense, but Felix knew that it was something he desperately did not want. Something he desperately wanted to avoid.

He spent the rest of his days busying himself around the palace, following Chaerin and Chaeeun, practically forcing them to let him help. Being the test subject for the cooks, watching Yeonjun practice as they engaged in small talk. Playing board games with Jeongin, because apparently the palace had an extensive collection of board games. The palace had an extensive collection of everything, more like.

His days passed in a blur.

Sometime during the week, they had that picnic Jisung suggested, only it wasn’t a picnic because there was a table and chairs and the staff was around them serving tea and desserts.

Maybe this was how the rich had their picnic, in a very fancy, not picnic-like style. Felix wished they would just sit on the grass, feeling the sun on their faces as they ate, the normal way. It wasn't quite the outdoorsy experience Felix had imagined, but he didn't mind it.

To his delight, Jeongin had started talking to the others, mostly Seungmin and Chan. Felix had yet to see him talk with Hyunjin and Changbin, but he was feeling pretty confident that it would happen sooner than later.

Felix started stumbling more into the others, too.

He crossed paths with Chan frequently, since the other liked seeking out the guards for sparring sessions. Felix spend a lot of time with the staff, and that included the guards, so of course they stumble into each other a lot. He had even watched as Chan sparred with Yeonjun one time. Chan was really nice to talk to, he asked Felix a lot about Duskwood, so Felix told him about Wooyoung and San and Minhyuk and Hayeon. He told him about the merchants and Uncle Minki, he told him about the lake. In turn, Chan told him about his parents. His father worked at Goldencrest, he was the Captain of the Knights. Chan talked about him with so much pride and respect. Felix could see how much he looked up to his dad.

Seungmin was the opposite of Minho. Sometimes, Felix would go to the library at night, just to put off going to sleep for as much as he could—which was not as much as he’d prefer because Jeongin always waited for him before he slept, and Felix didn’t want to keep him waiting—and that’s when he’d see Seungmin. He always had a stack of books in his arms, and even more stacks of papers on the table. They’d exchange smiles and engage in small talk, Felix mostly let Seungmin work in peace, but once in a while when Seungmin heaved an exhausted sigh they would chat as he allowed his mind a break.

Hyunjin seemed to always find him in times when he didn’t want to be found, always in the middle of the night, scurrying through the dark hallways and making his way to the courtyard, trying to escape his dreams. It happened too often for Felix’s liking, almost every other day, and weirdly enough, Hyunjin always found him. Was he having nightmares, too? He didn’t have the nerve to ask. Felix wasn’t entirely sure what the other thought of him, but he didn’t get mad when Felix first told him about what happened to his robe, and he always stayed with Felix until he had calmed down before returning inside. He never stopped asking if Felix wanted a cup of tea even though he had always said no to that, so maybe he didn’t hate Felix all that much?

Felix liked how he didn’t ask questions, though.

Jisung was, of course, the one Felix spent the most time with after Jeongin. Sometimes Jisung would help him learn the piano, but most of the time Felix was content watching him play. He was so good at it, and Felix was always mesmerized by the way he played. They don’t spend all their time with the piano, though, sometimes they’d roam around the palace. Other times they’d play board games.

And of course, he stumbled into Minho nearly every time he visited the library in the mornings. It seemed like the other liked starting his day with a book. Minho was knowledgeable and smart. Felix recently figured out that he had graduated from the academy. He was planning to pursue higher education, and was aiming to become a Sage.

“What’s a Sage?” Felix asked, intrigued.

Minho paused, staring at him like he didn’t expect the question. “You know how there are Nobles and Commoners?”

Felix nodded.  

“There are more than just Nobles and Commoners,” Minho said. “Those are social classes, and from the top, there are Nobles, Gentry, Sages, Courtiers and Commoners.”

“Woah,” Felix said, he had never heard of that. He wondered if Jeongin knew? He never told Felix about it. “What are those?”  

“The Gentry is the second-highest social class. They’re not as influential, rich, or powerful as Nobles, but they’re still very privileged. They’re still in the upper class. The Sages, on the other hand, consist of highly-learned individuals, recognized experts in their fields, if you will. The Courtiers are those who serve the royals, those who serve the palace. Above the Nobles, there’s the Royal Family. That’s not exactly a social class, but you get the idea. And you’re already familiar with Nobles and Commoners."

“Right,” Felix said, thoughtful. “So that would make the staff here Courtiers? Wait, but I’m a Commoner and they’ve been helping me and some of them would still call me Sir even though I told them not to,” he added, confused.  

Minho smiled, “Most staff are Commoners,” he said. “Courtiers are the ones with higher positions and responsibility, like Chan hyung’s parents or Jisung’s parents.”

“Oh,” Right, Chan’s Father was the Captain of the Knights. Felix didn’t know what Jisung’s Father was, but he had told him that his Mother was a piano instructor.  

“Chan hyung’s Father is the Captain of the Knights, while Jisung’s Father is the Seneschal,” Minho provided helpfully. “Changbin’s Father is the Master of Arms at the Redmont Palace, and Hyunjin’s from the Hwang family, which is one of the Twelve Noble Families,” he explained, before adding, “My Mother is a Sage.”

Blinking owlishly, Felix responded, “So you weren’t a Noble? Before all of this?”

Minho shook his head, “Only Hyunjin,” he said. “Seungmin found Jisung when they were very young, though, so I suppose he had been living as a Royal longer than a Courtier. The same with hyung and Changbin, although they came a bit later compared to Sungie.”  

“Now that we’re Seungmin’s Soulbond Heirs, though, it gets a little complicated. A family’s class is determined by the highest ranked amongst them, so our parents aren’t exactly considered as Sages and Courtiers, not anymore. They would be officially considered as part of the Royal Family once we’re married. Normally, they wouldn't need to work anymore, but we have very stubborn parents,” he said with a rueful smile. “Stubborn parents who loved their jobs a little too much to let them go. The King has been very kind and supportive, he practically let them choose whether to keep their jobs or to just, I don’t know, enjoy their lives. Seungmin would probably be the same.”

Felix found the intricacies of the social structure both fascinating and perplexing. All those things about social classes sounded so complicated Felix was thankful there was no such thing in the forest. But then again, there were no humans there, only him and his uncle. Animals didn’t have classes. There were just prey and predators. Simple.

Felix kept running into Changbin in the stables. They talked about horses and Felix watched as Changbin rode them around, which reminded him of Byungjoon. Changbin had also asked Felix to help him get Dongja to like him, they’ve been trying out a few things and nothing seemed to work. Changbin was relentless, though, seemingly not willing to give up. They also talked about other things sometimes. Felix liked Changbin, he was nice and funny.

“Why won’t you stop calling us Your Highness?” Changbin questioned one day.

Felix frowned, “Minhyuk hyung said that I should always address a Noble properly.”

“Isn’t he a Noble, too? Lee Minhyuk, right, from the Committee of Duskwood?”

Felix blinked, momentarily taken aback. Right, hyung was a Noble. He had somehow forgotten about that. He had long stopped seeing Minhyuk as a Noble, he just saw him as his friend. “Well,” Felix started, trying to come up with an explanation. “Hyung isn’t bonded to a prince?” he tried.

“That doesn’t matter,” Changbin retorted, exasperated. “I’ve been asking you to stop calling me that, so you should. I don’t see you going around calling Jeongin Your Highness.”

Felix never really thought of that. “Should I start doing that?” he asked hesitantly. It was Jeongin’s proper title, although his friend would not appreciate it. No one knew Jeongin was Seungmin’s soulmate, anyway, so it was probably fine to address him normally but maybe in front of his soulmates, Felix should start calling him that. The others had asked him to stop calling them Your Highness in private, everyone but Hyunjin. Wait, what if he was irritated at Felix because he hadn’t been addressing Jeongin properly? He was of the Twelve Noble Families, it would make sense if he was peculiar about this kind of thing.

“No!” Changbin groaned, throwing his hands up in frustration. “You’re missing the whole point. That’s it. I won’t talk to you if you’re calling me that.”

It’s safe to say that Felix started—very reluctantly—calling him hyung then. He always made sure that Hyunjin wasn’t around, and that he was saying it as quietly as possible, so he was always looking around when he was talking to Changbin.

Unfortunately, Changbin didn’t keep quiet about it. He told everyone else, and Jisung used Changbin’s method to make Felix call him by his name. Minho told Felix that he would be banned from the library if he heard Felix call him Your Highness one more time, so he lost that battle, too. Seungmin didn’t threaten him or anything, but he called him Mr. Lee and Sir whenever Felix called him Your Highness and it made Felix cringe. The first time Seungmin said it, good morning Mr. Lee, Sir, he said it with an exceptionally dry expression while Felix had been extremely horrified, because Mr. Choi was there with them, although he didn’t show any kind of reaction. Felix thought that they wanted him to refer to them casually in private, but they clearly had a different definition of the word. Private didn’t mean when there was no one there, because apparently the staff didn’t count.

Felix cringed at the memory, he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t have the literal prince address him that way.

Chan was the kindest. He hadn’t threatened him or anything, but he looked so disappointed whenever Felix referred to him that way. One of these days, Felix might lose that particular battle as well, but he was still trying to hold on.

It wasn’t only Felix, Jeongin was starting to get to know them, too, and that was the most important part of it all.

When Felix received his reply from Wooyoung and San, he immediately asked Seungmin about it, and the generous prince gave him his permission to, and Felix quote, use any and all ingredients you need whenever you want, and all the cooking utensils, too. You don’t have to ask for my permission, Felix. He even went so far as to offer to talk to the cooks, to tell them that they didn’t need to supervise Felix in the kitchen, giving him free rein. Felix immediately told him no, though; he knew how the cooks felt about their kitchen, and he wasn’t about to poke at that.

Jeongin cried when he ate the food, saying that it tasted just like his mom’s cooking.

Sheepishly, Felix confessed that he had used his mother’s recipe, and that Wooyoung and San had helped him ask her about it. Jeongin practically jumped onto him after hearing that, giving him the biggest and tightest hug, knocking the breath out of him.

Felix loved it, but he loved the big smile on Jeongin’s face even more. He’d cook for him however many times he liked, if it would put a smile on his face.

Gradually, Felix realized that he had warmed up to them, to the others, and he genuinely cared for them. He genuinely wanted things to work out for them, and he wanted them to be happy as much as he wanted Jeongin to be happy.

His nights were dark and daunting, but his days were bright. He was thankful to the Fates, that Jeongin had such good soulmates.

He would hold them in his memory, he would hold them in his heart. He would hold them in his thoughts when it’s his time to drift away.

He supposed that was a blessing. That was more than enough for him.

 

---

 

Jeongin sat across Seungmin, the room shrouded in a heavy silence, tension thick in the air. Seungmin wore a nervous expression, his eyes locked onto Jeongin's.

Breaking the silence, Jeongin finally spoke, "I'm thinking of staying."

He watched as Seungmin just stared at him blankly, looking like he was struggling to understand the words.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m thinking of staying here,” Jeongin repeated, tone resolute. “With you all.”

Seungmin tensed, brow furrowed. He blinked, bewildered, “I… what?” he asked. “Why?”

“There’s too much at stake,” Jeongin responded quietly, tiredly.

Seungmin's features tensed with concern. He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully, “You don’t need to worry about that,” he said. “We’ll figure something out. We were just talking about worst-case scenarios.”

Jeongin sighed, “It’s too risky. If anything goes wrong, there’s too much at stake.”

Seungmin stared at him, eyes calculating.

“What brought this on?”

Shrugging, Jeongin replied, “Nothing. I thought about it, it’s only logical for me to stay.”

Jeongin thought that he was being perfectly reasonable, but if you’re only guessing from Seungmin’s expression, you would have thought that he was spouting nonsense.

“What about Felix?”

“Felix?” Jeongin repeated, thrown off by the sudden mention of his friend. “What do you mean? Hyung’s allowed to leave, right?”

Seungmin nodded, “Of course he is. You are, too,” he said with a small sigh. “But that’s not what I’m talking about. I thought you wanted to be with him?”

Jeongin spluttered, voice a little high-pitched, “What?”

“The person you’re in love with,” Seungmin said patiently. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

Jeongin couldn’t believe that he hadn’t been here for long and Seungmin already figured it out. He figured it out before Felix did, although Jeongin had long given up on that. He had a feeling that his hyung wouldn’t figure it out, not without Jeongin spelling it out for him. Maybe he had to write it down on a piece of parchment too, to make sure that he really understood. 

“What are you talking about?” Jeongin attempted, he tried to feign ignorance. Seungmin just raised his eyebrows, thoroughly unimpressed. If his whole situation wasn’t so pitiful, Jeongin would’ve laughed. “How did you… how did you know?”

Seungmin hummed thoughtfully, “You’re softer when he’s around.”

“Softer,” Jeongin repeated, before he let out a long-suffering sigh, burying his face in his hands. It couldn’t get more embarrassing than this. “Right.”

For a moment, Seungmin said nothing, but that didn’t last as long as Jeongin hoped.

“He seemed to think that you’re referring to someone back home, though?”

Jeongin groaned miserably. He was wrong, it could get more embarrassing. “Yeah,” he replied, lifting his head to meet Seungmin’s gaze, because he had seen through Jeongin anyway. What was left to hide? “Hyung is exceptionally skilled at drawing the wrong conclusions.”

Seungmin smiled, a trace of amusement in his eyes, though a hint of sympathy lingered as well. “Are you planning to tell him?”

Was Jeongin planning to tell him?

If he had asked the question a few days ago, maybe even before they arrived at the capital, the answer would be yes. Eventually, he was planning to tell Felix.

Now? Jeongin couldn’t see the point.

He wasn’t even sure if Felix saw him that way, it felt like he saw him as a friend, nothing more. Even worse, Jeongin was going to stay here, with these… these royals.

He wouldn’t be able to be with Felix, anyway.

Jeongin was secretly hoping that he’d stay. He was selfishly hoping that Felix would stay. Seungmin was kind, he’d probably let Felix stay, too, if Jeongin begged. But that wasn’t the point, that wasn’t his concern. He didn’t want to do that, not to Felix. His friend was so kind that Jeongin wouldn’t be surprised if he agreed.

If Jeongin asked him to stay, he had a feeling that Felix would.

“Not really,” Jeongin said eventually, resigned. “I’m staying here, there’s no point.”

Instead of responding, Seungmin let out a soft sigh. He took a moment, deep in thought, before finally speaking. “I think I liked you better before."

“What?”

“I liked it better when you were so ready to fight us for what you want. For yourself.”

Jeongin gave him an ironic smile, “That’s unexpected.”

Shaking his head, Seungmin responded, “I care about what you want, Jeongin,” he said. “I know it might be hard to believe, but I do. I don’t want to force you into anything. It is true that there is a lot at stake, but that doesn’t mean that I want you to sacrifice yourself, your life,” he continued. “I promise we’ll find a way. I know that sounds like an empty promise right now, but we will. We’ll figure something out.”

Jeongin appreciated Seungmin’s kindness. He appreciated Seungmin’s willingness to consider his feelings and what he wanted, too, but Jeongin had done nothing but think the past few days and he still couldn’t find a way out of this.

A way that would allow him to go home and be with his friends and family, with Felix, while ensuring that he wasn’t jeopardizing Seungmin and the Kingdom.

“Okay,” Jeongin said, but he didn’t really mean it. It didn’t matter, he had made his decision. A solution where everyone was happy sounded mighty impossible, anyway. "There's something else I'd like to discuss," he added, changing the topic.

“Please.”

“I was wondering if it would be okay for hyung to… not be confined here?” Jeongin asked. “I heard from him, about the lockdowns, so I’m not sure if—”

“I’m ending the lockdown tomorrow,” Seungmin interrupted kindly. “It’s… the culprit hasn’t been caught yet, but it’s been more than a month since the incident and there’s work to be done outside the palace. Both Goldencrest and Redmont are ending their lockdown, too.”

“Oh…” Jeongin said, surprised. “So it’s alright for us to go out?”

Seungmin grimaced, “I have no problem with it,” he stated. “But some of the others, like Chan hyung and Changbin hyung, tend to be a little overprotective and paranoid.”

Jeongin’s face fell at that.

“I’m ending the lockdown anyway, they won’t say anything against that because the other palaces are doing it too,” Seungmin said quickly. “But they would probably be… resistant, if any of us wants to venture outside. I was thinking we could give it another week even though officially, the lockdown ends tomorrow. They should be more agreeable then.”

Of course it wouldn't be that simple. Sighing, Jeongin replied, “But hyung’s different, right? He’s not exactly… at risk, so it would be fine for him to go out once the lockdown is over tomorrow?” he asked. “I don’t mind waiting for another week, but Felix hyung is… he’s here because I begged him to come with me, and…” he sighed. “I won’t say much, but his uncle is missing. We were hoping that we could ask around for him while we’re here, but we’ve been confined to the palace so we haven’t been able to do that. I feel really bad for dragging him into this, he’s really worried about his uncle.”

Jeongin could see the surprise on Seungmin’s face at the sudden revelation.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Seungmin said sincerely, brow furrowed in sympathy. “They shouldn’t have any problem with Felix going out. Even if they do, they won’t after they hear about this. It couldn’t be easy, to have a missing family.”

“Yeah,” Jeongin agreed, relieved. See? Seungmin was kind and reasonable, Jeongin could work with that. Maybe he wouldn’t mind considering him a friend, eventually. “Thank you.”

 

---

 

That night, lying there in the darkness, Jeongin wrestled with his thoughts. He wanted to tell Felix about it, about his decision, but he also didn’t want to. He felt that if he told him, it would be real. It was already real, but it feel even more real, it wouldn’t be something he could pretend never happened, something he could pretend wasn't there.

“I’m planning to stay,” Jeongin whispered eventually, losing the battle. “I’m planning to stay here.”

“What?” Felix asked, sounding perplexed. “But… why? What about the person… your person?”

Your person. Felix was Jeongin’s person. Jeongin thought that sounded nice.

“I want nothing more than to be with them,” Jeongin admitted quietly. “But I can’t. Not with so much at stake. This is better for everyone.”

Felix paused, processing Jeongin’s words, before he replied, “You’re everyone too, Innie. If you’re unhappy, how could it be better for everyone? It would be better for everyone but you.”

Jeongin could’ve sworn that Felix had a cheat sheet or something. He always says the best things, the things Jeongin never thought of, the things that make him feel.

“I’ll be okay,” Jeongin said, Jeongin lied. “Seungmin and the others are... not too bad. Maybe I could be happy here, too.”

Felix stayed silent, like he could sense the doubt Jeongin was desperately trying to hide.

“I’ll always love them,” Jeongin confessed. It was the truest words he had uttered today. He felt the need to say it, like an ache that won’t go away. He had no idea why, Felix was painfully obvious about the fact that he was the person Jeongin was referring to. It wasn’t like he needed the reassurance.

But he needed to say it.

“But I need to stay here, I want to stay here. Seungmin and everyone are not bad, maybe I can like them, too,” he couldn’t even use the word love - he wasn’t sure if he could ever use the word love to anyone but Felix, not when he had taken all there was to take, not when he had filled every nook and cranny in his heart. Maybe this was the consequence of never falling in love, once he does it takes his everything, it’s so intense it doesn’t make sense, so intense it leaves him breathless. “But I will always love, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving—"

“Innie,” Felix’s voice was gentle. “It’s okay. It’s okay if your feelings changed,” He said, because of course he would misunderstand it all. Jeongin didn’t think it was possible for Felix to misunderstand the whole situation even more, but his hyung had always exceeded his expectations. “Feelings change, you don’t have to justify it. It doesn’t matter to me who you love, or who you end up with,” he said, voice gentle and kind but Jeongin’s whole body almost recoiled, he almost physically flinched.

He doesn’t care. He didn’t see Jeongin that way.

It doesn’t matter to me who you love, or who you end up with.

How could words uttered so gently cause him so much pain?

“The only thing that matters to me is that you’re happy. As long as you are, I’m fine with anything,” Felix continued in a soft, reassuring tone.

“Innie?” He asked when Jeongin said nothing in response. “Jeongin-ah,” Felix said, confused, reaching out to touch his face before he completely froze. “Are you crying?” He asked, horrified.

Jeongin didn’t even realize he was crying. But he was, of course he was.

It hit him then, that maybe this was how heartbreak felt like. He felt like he had been rejected, and the worst part of it was that he hadn’t even confessed yet. He couldn’t be more pathetic than that.

Shaking his head, Jeongin frantically wiped his tears away. A futile action, because more tears came.

Unfairly, Felix pulled him closer and wrapped him in a tight hug like he didn’t just reject him unknowingly.

“Oh, Innie,” he murmured against his hair. “I’m sorry, I got it all wrong,” he said, like he just had a sudden realization. “You must really love them.”

Well, at least he got it right this time. That was a first.

“I know you’re thinking of everyone. And I admire that about you,” he sighed. “But I wish… I wish there was a way for this to work for everyone, including you.”

Swallowing hard, Jeongin replied, “We don’t always get what we want,” he said when he found his voice, sounding a little too bitter for his own taste. He meant to say it to himself. He can’t be selfish about this. He have to think of other people, of everyone. “The world doesn’t work that way.”

Felix stayed silent for a little while, and Jeongin thought that was it. His friend couldn’t think of anything to say to that, because there was nothing to say. Jeongin knew that, but Felix’s silence was so loud that he felt himself truly giving up, truly letting go of everything that—

“Okay, Innie,” Felix said, interrupting his spiraling thoughts. “You can think of everyone else,” he said, sounding resolute, their gazes locked in the darkness. “I’ll think of you.”

Damn it.

What does that even—how could he say things like that? How could he say things like that when he didn’t feel that way about Jeongin?

Like he loved Jeongin.

Which he didn’t. Maybe he did, but as a friend. Jeongin knew that.

“There’s a way. We’ll figure out a way,” Felix went on as he wiped Jeongin's tears away.

Jeongin chuckled wetly, “Sounds impossible and unrealistic, hyung.”

“Don’t worry,” Felix said, sounding strangely confident. “I have experience doing the impossible before.”

“Really?” Jeongin asked, momentarily forgetting his heartbreak, replaced by intrigue. Also, it was a little hard to feel heartbroken when Felix said things like that. “Like what?”

Even in the dark, Jeongin could see how Felix’s expression shifted a little, turning rueful. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he said cryptically, humorlessly.

Jeongin wanted to push, to ask. A part of him was stubbornly telling him to press, to prod, but another part of him was warning him not to.

In the end, the latter won by a big margin, because suddenly, Felix looked very sad.

“You’ll see, Innie,” Felix said, tone lighter despite the sadness in his eyes. “It would turn out alright for everyone including you, and you’ll see how good I am with the impossible.”

This was why Felix was dangerous. He always made Jeongin yearn.

For more. For everything. For him.

And maybe, he made Jeongin hope, too.

That maybe, as unlikely as it was, he could find a way. A way for it all to work, a way for Jeongin to hold on to his life, to the people in it.

And Jeongin was surprisingly fine with hoping.

With Felix, he didn’t think he could let go of all hope. He would always hope for him.

---

 

Not for the first time, Felix woke with a startle, his breathing ragged and erratic.

He couldn’t exactly remember what he dreamed of, but he could remember one thing.

A voice.

“… forget…”

Forget. That was the only word Felix could make out, even though he was sure that the voice said more. They sounded like they were speaking through a thick glass, so he couldn’t hear them properly. He strained to recall more, but it slipped away like mist through his fingers.

Desperately, he focused on regulating his breathing, because as always, Jeongin was fast asleep in his arms.

Ever since their first sleepover, Jeongin had been coming to his room for sleep every single night, and they had been sleeping like this; entwined together. Felix liked it, the nights were warmer with Jeongin beside him.

He was just starting to calm down when he realized something—when he remembered, ironically, because of the word he heard.

Forget.

He was trying to forget.

“There’s something that could help,” the Magician had said gently. “Something that could help you forget.”

Felix said nothing, he just stared back at him with dull eyes, but he wondered. Forget?

“Not everything,” the Magician continued. “Just the hard parts.”  

The hard parts.

The parts that hurt too much.  

“Do you want that, Felix?” he inquired softly, patiently.

Felix didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted his Mama, but she wasn’t there.

Not anymore.

He wanted it to stop, for the pain to disappear.

Slowly, he nodded.

He was trying to forget. Felix was trying to forget. What was he trying to forget?

He didn’t know, he didn’t want to know.

He didn’t want to remember.

“It’s the end of the month, I need to strengthen the spell for you,” his uncle reminded him gently, a kind smile on his face.

“Oh,” Felix’s face fell. “Right. Okay, Uncle.”  

Uncle Insu considered him for a moment. “What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned. “Do you not want to do it?”

Felix swallowed, but shook his head. “No, it’s just…” he sighed. “It hurts. To remember that I was trying to forget.”

His uncle’s face softened, there was sadness in his eyes. “Do you want me to stop asking?” he asked. “Do it in your sleep?”

A coward. That’s what he was.

A pathetic coward.

Despite himself, Felix nodded.

He was trying to forget.

For a long time, he had been forgetting, so much that he had forgotten that he was trying to forget. He had relied entirely on his uncle's kindness. He had relied on him so much that he had forgotten all about it.

He supposed that was what he desired, to forget everything entirely.

But his uncle was gone, he was missing, and now Felix had nowhere to go.

He had no one that could help him. No one could make him forget.

Everything started to make sense now. The flashes, the memories, the nightmares—could he even call those nightmares when they were as real as he was? He didn’t know. But it made sense, they were coming back to him. He couldn’t believe he didn’t realize it earlier.

He couldn’t do this. He had to make it stop.

He needed to find someone, someone that could help him.

Someone who could make him forget.

Notes:

an early update because it's weekend and i have a lot of free time! as promised, no cliffhanger this time 😂

the next chapter will be up on wednesday (hopefully). that’s in three days and i’m not entirely sure i could get the next one done as fast as this one because it’s weekdays, but i’ll try. otherwise, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (september 20) the latest. i hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 20: Brave Hearts

Be brave, the mother told her son. Hopeful eyes stared back, smile blinding like the sun. The boy snuggled into her arms. I will, Mama, he promised, happy and untainted by the world.

Her brave little warrior.

--

 

There was something going on, something weird about him and Felix.

That was probably an odd way of putting it, but Hyunjin couldn't think of a better way to describe it. He had no idea what was going on.

He knew that Felix often suffered from nightmares.

What Hyunjin found perplexing was that, lately, falling asleep had become increasingly challenging for him too. Some nights, he would lay there awake with something churning deep inside him, like something bad was going to happen. And then somehow, he’d find himself in the courtyard that was not as empty as it should be, because Felix would be there.

Sometimes he had calmed down, his breathing returning to a steady rhythm, and his eyes devoid of emotions—other times he would still be in the middle of it, of fear and terror.

They never talked, not really.

Felix never explained, and Hyunjin never asked.

On days he didn’t have any bad feelings, he found himself feeling restless, anyway; almost as if he needed to make sure that the other was alright and wasn’t hyperventilating alone in the courtyard, passing out or something.

On those days, he’d go to the courtyard.

He’d find it empty.

Hyunjin had no idea what that meant. Did he somehow develop a sixth sense for Felix and his nightmares? Why would he develop something so ridiculous when they’re not even friends?

It was confusing and ridiculous that he had been keeping it to himself, he hadn’t told anyone about it.

It’s not as if anything happened between them; they just… crossed paths during the night by chance, sometimes. Maybe not so coincidentally now that Hyunjin deliberately checked the courtyard each night on purpose after everyone had fallen asleep. It didn’t matter that his newfound Felix’s nightmares-detecting superpower had been proven to be accurate, checking the courtyard had become his nightly routine.

He was just doing this because it was weird. Felix was weird. There was an air of mystery around him, something Hyunjin couldn’t place.

He was also just doing this because he was a good person. A decent person. A good samaritan who found that another human being had frequent night terrors, and was just naturally concerned about it, because said human was his guest, wasn’t he?

Yeah, Hyunjin was just being a good host.

Those hunches and bad feelings he had been getting were probably just coincidences. They come and disturb his nights coincidentally when Felix is having a not-so-good night as well.

Hyunjin was also just doing this because he hated nightmares.

He used to get a lot of those, when he was younger. Sometimes those would come out of nowhere, but whenever he was ill, they were his constant company. While they occurred less frequently now, they still haunted him on occasion.

His nightmares varied, sometimes he couldn’t even remember them, the ones he remembered were always nonsense, but there was one recurring dream. It was coincidentally the one Hyunjin hated the most, because it was the one that terrified him more than anything else.

It didn’t even make sense, it never made sense why the dream would make him tremble to his bones, but it did. Hyunjin had the dream more than he had any other dreams, so he could remember it, he could remember all the details, and it was always the same.

He was somewhere he had never been before. It was always nighttime, and the sky was full of shooting stars. The constant shower of stars had never ceased during his time there. Though bizarre, the sight was beautiful, objectively speaking. It didn’t matter, though, because he was searching for something.

He was always searching for something.

He had no idea what it was; the only thing he knew was that he needed to find it—that it was important.

He would stumble as he desperately searched for it. He knew he needed to find it, and he needed to find it before it was too late.

Hyunjin never found it, whatever it was.

He would always wake in a startle, his heart pounding against his ribs, his breaths ragged.

Sometimes, he would wake up to tears streaming down his face.

It always felt scarier when he was sick, because it would feel real—because it’s hard to think straight when you’re sick, so it’s harder to realize that it was a dream, that it wasn’t real.

It had been a while since Hyunjin last had the dream.

That didn’t mean that he expected to have it today. In fact, he tended to forget about its existence entirely until it plagued his nights again.

Hyunjin woke with an ache in his chest and the familiar taste of desperation in his mouth.

The desperation to find.

The next thing he knew, he was standing in the courtyard, and Felix was turning to look at him.

Hyunjin saw recognition in his eyes, like he knew. Like he understood.

He supposed the other might know a thing or two about it, about drowning.

Hyunjin always felt like he was drowning whenever he had that dream, like everything was too big, too overwhelming for him that he could feel himself drowning in it. It filled him with an overwhelming sensation of helplessness, as if he were submerged in the deep, dark ocean.

His lovers were always there for him, hands stretched. They were always there to pull him up, to take him out of it. Hyunjin was always grateful for them, but he knew that it was just temporary.

Eventually, the dream would return, and he would drown all over again.

And maybe Hyunjin was selfish, but he might have yearned for something other than helping hands. Maybe he had always yearned for someone who understands how it felt like to drown. He had always yearned to meet someone who knows how it felt like to breathe normally, but to feel that you’re gasping for breath anyway.

He had always wanted to look at someone and have them look back at him not with worry or pity, but with understanding.

He had always wanted to meet someone who’d understand that while his nightmares were just dreams, they were also something more.

That they were dreams, but Hyunjin was terrified of them like they were real, and that it wasn’t stupid.

Hyunjin closed his eyes, catching his breath, trying to ground himself in reality.

He was right here. He was in the courtyard. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t searching for anything.

When he finally opened his eyes as he felt himself calming down, Felix had drawn closer to him. He froze for a second, seemingly surprised by Hyunjin opening his eyes, but then his expression melted into a kind smile.

Slowly, he extended his hand towards Hyunjin.

For a moment, Hyunjin just stared at it dumbly.

It was different. It was a different kind of hand from those of his lovers.

They offered theirs to pull him up, to get him out, but Felix’s felt different.

It felt like he offered his hand not to pull him up, but just to be. It didn’t feel like he was saying ‘you’re drowning, and it’s okay because I’m here to pull you up, you’re not drowning anymore’; it felt like he was saying ‘you’re drowning, and I know it’s scary because I’m drowning too. I’m here with you’.

Would it be terribly selfish of him, to want both?

Silently, Hyunjin reached out and accepted Felix's hand, allowing himself to be led away.

Wait, away where?

Hyunjin realized a little too slowly, how Felix was leading him away from the doors and further outside, towards the gardens.

“Where are we going?” Hyunjin asked, confused. The initial assumption that Felix would guide him inside and offer a cup of tea or something similarly comforting was shattered as they ventured further into the gardens.

Felix glanced back at him, surprise flickering across his face, probably because he didn’t expect Hyunjin to say anything. They had been in each other’s company almost every other night, but they hadn’t said anything other than would you like to come in and have a cup of tea?, no, thank you and good night.

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” Felix answered.

Hyunjin blinked, a touch uneasy, “Now?” he asked, stiffening a little. Felix wanted him to meet someone in the middle of the night?

Was this it? Was this his ploy, his goal all along?

Did he sneak someone in, had he been waiting for the right time to strike? Hyunjin should’ve trusted that cynical part of his brain, he shouldn’t have trusted Felix; why would he trust him anyway? They hardly knew each other. Would it be too late to run and alert the guards? Felix wasn’t exactly gripping his hand or anything, he could easily pull away and—

“Kong-ah!” Felix called out. It was then Hyunjin realized they had come to a stop in the middle of the gardens. “You there?”

Hyunjin was about to make a run for it, but something flew over him, making him flinch and duck in reflex, yanking his hand away and using it to shield his head, eyes wide and horrified, only to find…

To find an owl. An owl that was now perched on Felix’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Felix said. Hyunjin thought he was talking to him, but the other turned and nudged the owl gently with the side of his head, so maybe he was talking to the both of them. “He’s nice.”

Realizing that Felix didn’t sneak anyone in to murder him, and that he was talking about an owl, Hyunjin quickly straightened himself.

Thankfully, Felix didn’t comment on his somewhat exaggerated behavior, instead, he started introducing Hyunjin. To an owl.

“This is Kongie,” Felix said. “Well, at least, that’s what I’ve decided to call him. I’ve been telling him that you’re nice, too, but he never wanted to show himself when you’re still here, so I thought I’d take the initiative tonight,” he explained like that was the part that confused Hyunjin. The owl stared at him, gaze piercing, and Hyunjin had a feeling that he was being thoroughly judged. “This is His Royal Highness, Hwang Hyunjin. You should apologize for startling him—sorry if we startled you, Your Highn—"

“Hyunjin,” Hyunjin interjected tiredly. “Just call me Hyunjin.”

Felix’s eyes widened momentarily, a hint of fear in his expression, which puzzled Hyunjin. The night couldn’t get stranger, but now that Hyunjin wasn’t scared out of his skin and Felix had proven that he didn’t drag him here to murder him, he finally had the time to really process what was happening.

There was an owl on Felix’s shoulder. An owl he named Kongie. An owl he was was introducing Hyunjin to it.

Hyunjin loved animals, but when he said animals, he meant dogs and cats. He wasn’t really a horse person, and he never really saw any other animals. Sure, the Woo family owned a pet monkey, but Hyunjin had never got close enough to its cage to form an opinion on it. He simply pitied the creature from afar.

He had seen sketches of owls in some books, but this was his first time seeing one up close.

Kongie was majestic. Hyunjin cautiously inched closer, eager to get a better look. Maybe he could sketch him later, maybe he could even turn him into a painting.

The owl, it seemed, had already formed its opinion of Hyunjin and was now nipping at Felix's hair.

Felix watched him expectantly, like he was waiting for Hyunjin to say something nice about Kong.

“He seems nice,” Hyunjin said tentatively. That must be the right thing to say, because Felix's face lit up in response.

“He’s really nice,” Felix agreed with a bright smile. “He stays with me after…” he trailed off, seemingly deciding that he shouldn’t say whatever he was going to say. “After.”

After you leave. That was probably what he wanted to say.

Ignoring the guilt that was starting to form in the pit of his stomach, Hyunjin said, “Do you think he’ll let me pet him?”

Felix hummed, “Maybe,” he replied. “Give it a try. Slowly, though, don’t startle him.”

With caution, Hyunjin extended his hand toward the owl.

Before he got close enough, the owl turned to him. Hyunjin had a feeling it was shooting him a glare, because the next second, it flew away.

“Ah,” Felix sighed, sounding genuinely disappointed for Hyunjin. “Maybe next time.”

There was something really strange with him and Felix. Felix was strange. He talks to animals like they’re humans, and horses, cats and owls liked him.

His soulmates liked him.

Hyunjin didn’t hate him. He didn’t dislike him. The more he watched him, the more he reminded him of something—of someone.

Felix reminded him of himself when he was young; when he was a child.

Often, when Hyunjin saw him, there was fascination and wonder in his eyes. He was fascinated by a lot of unfascinating things, like the violin and the gramophone, he was fascinated by the gardens, saying I’ve never seen so many different kinds of flowers in one place before!, eyes shining in excitement.  

Maybe, Felix reminded him of children in general. He was easy to read, he was curious and easily fascinated, and he was kind and bright.

People always had an ulterior motive, that was what Hyunjin was taught growing up, but even he knew that children don't.

Hyunjin knew Felix wasn’t a child, he was a grown man—he wasn’t even a year younger than him, but he had those qualities children have, the qualities people tend to lose as they grow up.

Maybe he didn’t have an ulterior motive. Maybe he was just a young, naïve young man from the villages who came here to accompany his friend.

Maybe it was fine for Hyunjin to like him, too.

 

---

 

The capital was nothing like Duskwood.

Sure, Felix had seen it before through the window of the carriage when they first arrived, but being out here, walking around, was a different experience.

There were so many people. There were more people than ants.

There were so many ants in the forest. Felix had never imagined that he would ever see more people than ants in his life.

Unlike Duskwood, everyone seemed to be in a rush. Felix tried offering a friendly smile at people but most of them just stared at him in confusion, like he was doing something weird. They seemed puzzled by his gestures.

Felix didn't dwell on it too much, because Yeonjun had dragged him to meet his soulmates, Kai and Taehyun, who were both really, really nice. Felix felt rather silly when they called him hyung, because they both towered over him. It wasn’t as if he was taller than Jeongin, the younger was slightly taller than him, but these two towered over him.

He supposed it didn’t matter, Kai was taller than Yeonjun, too, so it wasn’t just Felix. Kai was very passionate about helping Felix—they had just met and he already promised that he would help him ask around. Not today, though, because he was helping his parents. Their family owns a soap shop.

Now, Felix was on his way to the Guild of Magic with both Yeonjun and Taehyun.

He wished he had more than two eyes, because there was so much to see. The crowd was dense; there were too many people and not enough space, too, so Felix kept bumping into other people. He apologized whenever that happened, but surprisingly, a lot of people didn’t even acknowledge the fact that they just bumped into each other, although some shot him an irritated glare.

Halfway through their journey, Yeonjun had decided that Felix was incapable of navigating his way through the sea of people; he placed his hands on Felix’s shoulder and started literally steering him.

In Felix’s defense, it was his first time here and he had never seen this many people, so he let the older have his way as Taehyun led them through the crowd

Felix saw the magic before he saw the Guild—probably because he was too busy staring at people and all the different kinds of shops and stands—but he saw magic swirling in the air and started looking around, that was when he noticed the building standing a distance away.

He glanced at it in wonder. It was bigger than he imagined, and there was magic swirling out through the windows—some slightly open and others wide open.

Suddenly, Felix felt a little wary. He was supposed to be wary, he remembered that much, but he couldn’t quite remember why, like his memory was clouded. There was a reason why going to Hayeon was his very last option—if Minhyuk didn’t ghost him like that Felix would probably just brew his potion in his place, and he would probably never go anywhere near Hayeon’s house.

He didn’t really have the time to rethink his decisions or whatever because both Yeonjun and Taehyun were obliviously marching toward the building with him in tow. Taehyun didn’t even pause before he pushed the door open, ushering them inside.

It wasn’t that crowded inside, not compared to the market, but there were a lot of people—sorcerers and magicians lounging around engaged in conversations, some pausing to stare at them.

Felix tried making himself smaller as he trailed behind Taehyun. Now that they’re inside, Yeonjun finally let go and walked beside him.

A woman stood behind the counter. Felix thought she was really beautiful.

“Hi Noona,” Taehyun greeted with a polite smile. “This is Felix. He has a few questions for you. Hyung, this is Tzuyu Noona.”

“Hi,” Tzuyu said, offering Felix a small smile. “What can I help you with?”

Returning her smile, Felix spoke up, “Hi. I’m looking for my uncle,” he said. “He’s a magician, so I was wondering if the Guild knows anything about him? He’s been… missing.”

“His name, please,” Tzuyu said, not missing a beat.

“Insu.”

“Full name?”

Felix stared back blankly. “I uh…” he said, feeling very stupid all of a sudden. “I don’t know.”

“Alright,” Tzuyu said slowly. “I might have to look into the documents and papers, which might take a while. Could you tell me where he’s from?”

“Duskwood.”

“That makes it easier,” Tzuyu said. “There’s only one registered member from Duskwood, and that’s not her name. Does your uncle work exclusively in Duskwood, or does he go to the other villages as well?”

Felix nodded, "He goes to the other villages, too."

Tzuyu noted this down. “When did you last see him?”

“About three months ago.”

That made Tzuyu frown. “Alright, please give me a moment,” she said before he disappeared behind the door, right behind the counter.

Felix stared at the door, feeling disheartened. He definitely didn’t give enough, but that was all he knew. He hadn’t mentioned his suspicion, too; that his uncle was using a different name when he works. He should mention it when she’s back.

Yeonjun gave Felix’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, drawing his attention, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Felix said distractedly. He was starting to realize that he didn’t know all that much about his uncle.

He knew a lot of things, like the way he preferred his tea and coffee, or his favorite seasonings. He knew his favorite season and how he liked waking up early in the morning to breathe in the fresh air.

He didn’t know his full name, though.

He didn’t know where exactly he worked, he didn’t know what happened whenever his uncle left for the villages. He didn't know what fake name his uncle was using, because there was no way people in Duskwood never heard of him. He frequented the village.

It wasn't his uncle’s fault, though, that Felix didn’t know.

Felix never asked, and in turn, he never talked about it.

Felix used to be very curious about the towns and villages, but at one point, he stopped. He was still curious, he still wondered, but he kept it to himself.

The books were enough, the books had to be enough to satisfy his yearning for the world outside his window.

“Why don’t you both take a seat?” Yeonjun suggested, catching Taehyun’s eyes, seemingly having a silent conversation. “I saw a friend of mine, I’ll go ask him. Maybe he knows your uncle.”

“Hyung, you don’t need to do that. It’s—” Felix started, but Yeonjun didn’t let him finish. He ruffled his hair a little roughly, making a mess out of it, ignoring Felix’s indignant hyung! as he tried to swat his hand away.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Yeonjun said with a grin, and then he was gone.

“It’s alright, hyung,” Taehyun told him reassuringly. “We’ll all help out. We want to help.”

“Thank you,” Felix said softly, quietly. He felt like all he had done was accept people’s help. Ever since he ventured out of the forest, he had been helped, he had been guided by the kindness of the people around him, the people he was lucky enough to meet. It all started with Wooyoung, and it kept going.

Felix missed Wooyoung and San all of a sudden. And Minhyuk. Their absence weighed heavily on him.

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Everywhere he looked, there was something new to worry about. He wasn’t feeling very positive now that he had a looming doom waiting to happen—he was starting to remember. He needed to stop it.

He needed to stop it before it was too late, but the only person who had helped him stop was not there. His uncle was not there, and he needed to find someone else.

Wait a second, wasn’t Taehyun a magician, too?

Yeonjun mentioned something like that. Maybe he would help.

“Say…” Felix began hesitantly, choosing his words carefully. “If I want to, hypothetically, hire you to help me with something, could I do that?”

Taehyun blinked. “You want to hire me?” he asked, surprise evident in his voice. “I’m only an apprentice, hyung. I’m not exactly allowed to take on jobs without supervision.”

Felix’s face fell at that. There goes his newly found hope.

“But if you want, you can look for help through the Guild. They’ll post your request on the request board, and anyone who feels that they’re up for it could accept it,” Taehyun explained as he eyed Felix’s crestfallen expression, eyes sympathetic. “What do you need help with?”

Posting his request on the request board? For everyone to see? That was not something Felix wanted to do. Sighing, Felix replied, “It’s something that’s… rather private in nature. Something I don’t really want people to know,” he said, glancing around nervously.

Taehyun said nothing in response, but he nodded, urging Felix to continue. “I need… I have…,” Felix tried, struggling for words. He sighed. “There’s something I want to forget,” he admitted quietly. “And I was wondering if you could help me with that?”

For a moment, it was almost as if Taehyun had turned into a statue or something. Felix wasn’t even sure if he was breathing, but eventually, he blinked and asked, “…Mind magic?”

“Sorry?”

“You want me to perform mind magic on you?” Taehyun repeated, seemingly appalled by the request.  

Felix wasn’t sure what was so appalling about it, but he nodded, “If that’s what it’s called, yes,” he replied.

Taehyun stared at Felix like he was saying nonsense, with a mixture of concern and caution on his face, he shook his head. “Hyung, mind magic is a very advanced branch of magic,” he told Felix. “It’s not something anyone can do, it’s not something anyone can master. You have to have an affinity for it, and mages with affinity to mind magic are very, very rare. Not to mention that it’s extremely difficult and risky to perform.”

“Oh,” Felix said. He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know that it was that much of a big deal.

“Even more, it’s a very intrusive procedure. It’s not performed lightly, and it could only be performed with clear, written consent from the person,” Taehyun went on, voice solemn. “That, or by court order.”

“That’s not a problem,” Felix said quickly. “Consent, I mean. I can do that.”

“Consent would be the least of your concerns,” Taehyun told him with a wry smile. “Like I said, mages who have mastered mind magic are rare. I’d say that there are less than ten of them in the entire Kingdom. You also mentioned that this isn’t something you want other people to know, right?”

Felix nodded.

“When someone performs mind magic on you, especially when you want them to help you with a specific memory, they have to really get inside your head,” Taehyun explained. “They would essentially, go into your mind and filter through your thoughts and memory to find that particular memory, they will see everything there is to see,” he continued. “That’s why I called it intrusive.”

Felix blinked slowly. They have to filter through his thoughts and memories?

He had never heard about that.

His uncle had never told him about that.

Granted, he was fairly young when his uncle first performed the memory spell on him, so explaining mind magic to him was probably not a priority, but Felix couldn’t help but feel a little shocked at the revelation.

“I didn’t know that,” he mumbled, overwhelmed by the new information.

Taehyun offered him a sympathetic look, “The common practice is to ask the mage to perform an oath to keep everything to themselves, to protect your privacy,” he explained.

That sounded promising.

“What happens if they break the oath?”

“No one in their right mind would break a magically-binding oath,” Taehyun frowned. “That would be suicide.”

That sounded reassuring. But also terrifying. 

Felix had no idea how to feel about it. He didn’t know that to perform the spell, they had to go through his thoughts and memories. He supposed he didn’t mind it that much, that his uncle did. He had nothing to hide from him, but other people?

Magically-binding oath or not, they would know everything about Felix, everything about his past—they would know the truth.

Even worse, they would know about whatever Felix was trying to forget. He didn’t even know what it was, but he knew it was bad.

It was bad and it was too much; it was crippling to him.

Would they even be able to find it, the thing Felix was trying to forget? Would they be able to find it without his instruction? He couldn’t tell them what to look for, because he didn’t know, too.

Would just look for something very horrible, something traumatic be a sufficient instruction?

Maybe there would be traces of magic or something, traces of the spell his uncle did? He was long overdue, but even though he was starting to remember, he had not remembered it all just yet, does that mean that the spell was still there? That it was still working? Would they even be able to see it, if it was there?

Felix’s mind spun with questions. How did he end up with more questions than before?

“If you want, I can talk to my Master,” Taehyun said. “She might know someone who can help.”

Felix paused, giving it a thought. Eventually, he shook his head, “Thanks for offering,” he said. “I'll think about it.”

Taehyun nodded understandingly.

Sighing internally, Felix wished that he could do magic, or at least, mind magic. Then he could do this himself and start being independent. He had relied too heavily on his uncle, something he hadn’t realized before.

Wherever he was, Felix silently prayed he was alright.

 

---

 

Chan was losing his mind.

Maybe it was a bad idea, to let Felix go. The lockdown was over, but nothing was certain; they were still living in dangerous times. The culprit hadn’t been caught yet. What if they knew about the underground tunnels and the secret passageways, the ones Felix and Yeonjun were using; what if they were watching them? What if they caught them and used them for ransom? What if they caught them to get the keys? What if they hurt Yeonjun to make him tell them how to get into the palace through the—

“They promised they’ll be back before dinner,” Changbin said, stealing glances at the clock for the tenth time in the last five minutes.

“Hyung, relax,” Jisung chimed in from the couch, legs tangled with Minho’s, who had a book in his hands. “They still have like, 10 minutes.”

“That’s cutting it close,” Chan muttered, pacing back and forth, desperate to occupy his racing mind.

“Maybe we could send some guards to look for them?” Hyunjin suggested warily.

Jisung stared at Hyunjin like he had gone insane. “Really? You too?”

“What?”

“When did you become a worrywart like the hyungs?” Jisung rolled his eyes. “You better stop before your hair turns white like Chan hyung’s.”

“I’m not a worrywart,” Hyunjin bit back.

“Oh, please.”

“I don’t have white hair,” Chan grumbled. “Hey!” he exclaimed when he felt someone slapping his backside. He didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Minho, but he did just to throw him a half-hearted glare.

“Listen to Sungie, hyung,” Minho said, a playful smile on his face. “Felix’s fine. He’s probably having too much fun that he forgot the time or something. Jeongin said that this is his first time here, right?”

Chan knew that Minho was right, he always made sense, but it didn’t help as much as Chan needed it to. “I have a bad feeling,” he sighed.

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Seungmin spoke up. “They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

They were in fact, not here in a few minutes. Even as they all sat around the dining table with Jeongin, they were still not there.

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon,” Seungmin repeated.

Chan could see it now, the worry in their eyes and the growing apprehension etched across their faces. Jeongin looked just as restless as Chan was, if not more. Minho tried to look unbothered, but Chan knew him well enough to know that he was worried. Even Hyunjin, who was Felix’s number one skeptic, was visibly anxious.

Chan had made sure that Felix knew he wanted him back before dinner, he had drilled it into his mind.

“Remember, you need to be back before dinner,” Chan said for the tenth time, or maybe twentieth.

Jisung scrunched his nose in distaste, “Hyung, if you say that to him one more time, I’m going to puke,” he said from beside Felix.

Felix giggled, “If I had any nightmares tonight, it’s going to be about you saying ‘you have to be back before dinner’ over and over again, Your Highness,” he told Chan with a grin.

Chan let out a quiet groan at that, he was too worried about this whole thing to react to Felix calling him Your Highness, “It’s because it’s important,” he said. “If you’re not back before dinner, we’re going to assume that something has happened, and—“

“Lix, help the old man avoid a heart attack,” Minho smirked, before leading Felix in a chant. “Repeat after me, I will arrive back home before dinner time.”

“Min—“

“I will arrive back home before dinner time!” Felix said with fervor, face serious, a contrast to his lovers who were assholes; they were snickering at Chan's expense.  

“Thank you, Felix,” Chan said with a tired smile, tired but genuine. The tired part was for his lovers, the genuine part was for Felix.

“We’ll be fine, Yeonjun hyung is reliable and strong,” Felix said in an attempt to reassure him. “You lost the last time you sparred with him, yeah?” he reminded him to prove his point. He was being kind, Chan knew that, he wasn’t joking or anything, but again, his asshole lovers were laughing even more at that. When he said lovers, he meant Minho and Jisung, who were now laughing gleefully around a very confused Felix. Fortunately, Changbin and Hyunjin seemed to share Chan’s sentiment—Changbin wasn’t a surprise but Hyunjin certainly was. He wasn’t complaining, though, he’d take all the support he could get. Seungmin was surprisingly neutral, Chan could tell that he didn’t share his concerns, but at least he wasn’t teasing him. 

Even though the rest of them weren't teasing him, Chan could see amusement in their faces. They were trying not to laugh along.

“Hyung!” Jeongin’s voice cut through the noise. Coming from behind Changbin, he went straight for Felix. “Do you have anything you need? Here, I asked Mr. Kang and he had a map of the capital! You can use this so you won’t get lost, yeah?” He shoved a piece of folded parchment towards Felix, who accepted it with a smile.

Call him childish, but Chan felt relieved that someone was just as worried as him, if not more. It made him feel like he wasn’t mad, that he was right to be anxious.  

“Thanks, Innie,” Felix said sincerely.

Jeongin pressed on, still concerned, “Be careful not to get separated, hyung, you’re not familiar with the area and you might—“  

“Yes, hyung,” Felix interrupted teasingly. “Don’t worry, I won’t get lost.”

Jeongin huffed, exasperated. “ I mean it.”

“I mean it, too.”

Jeongin let out a soft sigh. “Fine,” he said, “Have fun, hyung,” he moved closer and pulled the other for a hug.

Felix returned the hug warmly. “I’ll have fun,” he said. “But not too much. I’ll have the most fun when you’re there with me next week, yeah?”

They pulled away, and now Jeongin had a bright grin on his face. “Yeah,” he agreed. “See you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? Chan thought, horrified.

Felix smiled, unfazed. “See you tomorrow, Innie.”

Chan was just about to voice his concerns, because what did they mean by tomorrow? He was supposed to be back before dinner, what kind of nonsense—

“I want a hug too!” Jisung exclaimed before he practically jumped onto Felix, eagerly hugging him. Thankfully, the other didn’t seem to mind, opening his arms to catch Jisung and returning the hug, laughing in delight.

Jeongin didn’t seem to share the sentiment, he watched the exchange with sharp eyes, lips turned into a small pout. He seemed a little jealous, and the realization hit Chan like a brick all over again as he remembered, that Jeongin was his soulmate, and he was in love with Felix.

Felix was nice, he was great. Wouldn’t things be a lot simpler if he was their soulmate, too? Wouldn't it be nice?

The insane thought came out of nowhere, it almost made Chan shake his head vigorously in an attempt to shoo it away.

“Yeonjunnie is here,” Minho announced, drawing Chan back to the present, “Go now, before the old man changes his mind and decides that you’re not allowed to go.”

Felix glanced at Chan, looking genuinely scared at the prospect, and Chan let out a long-suffering sigh. “I’m one year older than you, Lee Minho!”

Minho couldn't resist a final playful jab, “Still older.”

Felix quickly shuffled towards Yeonjun, eager to get far enough from Chan. Chan wanted to tell him not to worry, to assure Felix that he wasn’t going to change his mind, but he would be lying. He was trying so hard not to change his mind.

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” Changbin said unhelpfully.

“Run, Felix!” Minho said, voice urgent. To his delight, Felix actually started running, dragging Yeonjun with him. Chan saw as Yeonjun caught Minho’s eyes for a split second—the latter nodded—before he let himself be dragged by Felix.

Minho cackled in delight, like the demon he was.

“You’re so evil,” Hyunjin said to Minho, finally breaking his silence.

“Hyung’s too funny not to make fun of,” Minho said with a shrug, wiping away tears of laughter from his eyes.

Seungmin, who had observed the entire exchange with amusement, finally turned to Minho and asked, “What was that look about?” He would usually jump in and tease Chan about his age—he was usually worse than Minho, but Chan supposed Seungmin could see how genuinely anxious he was today, so he must’ve refrained from doing so.

Jeongin turned to look at Minho, intrigued.

“I handed Yeonjun some money for Felix to spend,” Minho said. “He seemed like the type that would argue if I gave it to him directly, so I decided to save myself the trouble."

 

After the whole spectacle, Chan was planning to spar with one of the guards, but Minho had invited Jeongin to join them in the lounge, which he surprisingly accepted. Chan decided that he could spar another day.

Jeongin disappeared briefly and returned with a book in his hands. He spent about two hours reading and engaging in small talks with them before excusing himself, which felt like a whole new milestone to Chan.

Dinner was served, and they all ate in silence, each passing second fed more worry into Chan’s head. Maybe something bad had happened. Maybe he should send guards to fetch them, find them.

When the servants filtered in to serve desserts, they came with two people in tow. Felix and Yeonjun. A very ruffled Felix, and a visibly distressed Yeonjun.

“Hyung!”

“Felix!”

“Please forgive me, Your Highness,” Yeonjun said, stepping in front of Felix, bowing deeply. “We—”

“Sorry we’re late, it’s not hyung’s fault!” Felix cut him off. “There was a fight, and—”

“A fight?!” Chan repeated, horror evident in his tone.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asked, shooting up from his seat.

“What?” Felix asked back, confused. “We didn’t fight, we just helped stop it. Hyung was so cool!” he gushed, excitement apparent in his voice as he turned to look at Yeonjun, who very much did not share his enthusiasm. Felix straightened himself before he continued, puffing his chest as an attempt to mimick Yeonjun, “He was like, ‘violence is prohibited and is a punishable crime. I suggest you take a step back and reconsider your—‘”

Eyes so wide they looked like they were going to pop out of the socket, Yeonjun flushed as he rushed to clarify, “The man grabbed Mr. Lee’s collar and—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Felix waved him off, not letting him finish. “He was angry, so he probably wasn’t thinking straight. Besides, the only casualty here is your clothes, I’m perfectly fine.”

Yeonjun shot him a disgruntled look, and he looked like he wanted to say something. A lot of somethings.

Chan was…

Chan could only gape, because his mind was too busy trying to piece together the story.

“I used your money to pay the man,” Felix continued, turning to Minho, face guilty. “I’m sorry. He was going to take the kid to the city guards, and he wanted him to be punished, but he was just a kid, so I—"

“Calm down, it’s your money, not mine,” Minho said reassuringly. He eyed Felix up and down, wanting to make sure that the other was in fact, alright. Felix looked like he wanted to argue, but Minho didn’t let him. “Why don’t you get changed first?” he suggested.

“I’ll come with you,” Jeongin offered quickly just as Yeonjun said, “I will escort him, Your Highness.”

The two stared blankly at each other, and Chan watched as Felix threw Yeonjun an apologetic smile before quickly saying, “I’ll go with Innie!”

Yeonjun shot him a betrayed look, and Felix gulped. 

When Jeongin was within arm’s reach, Felix grabbed him and dashed out of the room with Jeongin in tow, seemingly very eager to get away from the room. To get away from Yeonjun, judging from the other’s exasperated huff.

“What happened?” Chan asked as soon as they disappeared behind the door, not missing a beat.

Turning back to face him, head slightly bowed, Yeonjun recounted what happened.

 

---

 

Felix had a great idea. It came to him when he was taking a bath.

The bath was the perfect way to end his day because dinner had been… insufferable. Yeonjun had told the others what happened, and Felix had to go through another round of lectures as he ate his dinner, which certainly didn’t help with his appetite. It was almost as if it wasn’t enough, that Yeonjun had lectured him their entire journey back. The underground tunnels were narrow and dark and damp, and there was nowhere to go, he had no way to escape Yeonjun’s very passionate lecture.

Felix reluctantly listened without arguing back. He supposed it was fair, since the whole ordeal had gotten Yeonjun’s clothes ruined—the older had lent Felix his clothes when he showed his normal ones, the ones he owned, not the ones from Minhyuk; saying that his clothes wouldn’t do him any good here. Felix thought his clothes were fine, but what did he know. Now Yeonjun’s shirt—the one Felix was wearing—was slightly ruined. The collar was weirdly stretched. It didn’t tear, but still.

Felix let out a sigh, redirecting his thoughts back to the idea, his brilliant new idea.

The public library in the capital.

To get into the town undetected, they had gone through the underground tunnels and the hidden passageways and emerged in the public library. Felix didn’t get to explore the place, because Yeonjun immediately dragged him to meet his soulmates.

He thought he could use it. He could go there and do all the research he wanted without Minho hovering over him. He could look into soulmates and magic and no one would be there to question him.

It was so brilliant he wanted to go and look for Seungmin this instance to ask if he could go tomorrow. But he still had soap all over him and Seungmin had witnessed enough of his antics, in Felix’s opinion. Ideally, he shouldn’t see any of his antics, but Felix couldn’t do anything about the past.

He rushed to finish his bath, quickly dressing himself. When he got out of the bathroom with a towel in his hand as he tried to dry his hair, Jeongin was already there in his room, sprawled on the bed with a book in his hands. It’s that story about the mermaid and the prince, the one they found in the bookstore the first time they went together. Jeongin had found it in the library earlier today and had told Felix about it just before he went to take a bath, waving the book in his hand.

“I knew you liked it,” Felix smiled. “I didn’t think you’re the type to like romantic fantasy stories, though.”

Jeongin huffed, “I don’t,” he agreed. “But you liked it.”

Felix blinked.

“So I thought, you know, since between the two of us, you’re the reader,” Jeongin explained hastily. “That it must be worth a read.”

Felix laughed at that. “I didn’t know you trust my taste that much, Innie,” he said teasingly. “I just thought that it had an interesting premise.”

Eyebrows raised, Jeongin asked, “How so?”

“Well… Doesn’t it sound impossible?” Felix asked back. “The mermaid who isn’t human and the prince who is very much human, they’re clearly not fated for each other.”

“You don’t know that,” Jeongin argued a little defensively. “What if they find a way?

Felix grinned, “That’s the interesting part, isn’t it? Will they find a way to be together, or won’t they?”

“I bet they will,” Jeongin said rather confidently.

“You’re cheering for the mermaid, then?” Felix teased.

“And you’re not?” Jeongin pouted. “Aren’t we supposed to cheer for the mermaid since she’s like, the protagonist?”

Felix let out a hearty laugh, “There are no rules. We can cheer for anyone, Innie.”

“Who are you cheering for then?”

“Everyone,” Felix replied. “I’m cheering for the happy ending.”

Jeongin blinked, and then his expression broke into a smile. “I don’t know what I expected, I should’ve known that would be your answer,” he said. “I bet they’ll find a way, and they’ll get that happy ending.”

“Well,” Felix said, handing Jeongin the book with a smile. “There’s only one way to find out, right?"

Back to the present, Jeongin turned to face him, a relaxed smile on his face. Returning the smile, Felix continued to rub his hair with the towel, eager to go.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Jeongin asked curiously. “Do you want me to help with that?”

It would probably be fine, he didn’t need his hair to be completely dry to talk to Seungmin. It’s still damp, but Felix thought it would do.

“It’s alright,” he said, folding the towel and hanging it to dry. Hurriedly, he brushed his hair and ensured that he was presentable, or at least, as presentable as he could be at the moment.

When he glanced to look at Jeongin, the younger was still staring at him, a questioning look in his eyes.

Coming over, Felix ruffled his hair affectionately. “I’m going to talk to Seungmin,” he said. “I won’t be long.”

“Talk?” Jeongin asked. He pushed himself to a sitting position. “About what?”

“I wanted to ask if I could go again tomorrow,” Felix answered without thinking. “Kai said that he was going to help me ask around,” he added before it hit him.

Jeongin was still stuck in the palace.

“It’s okay, hyung,” Jeongin said like he could sense Felix’s guilt or something. “I think that sounds great!”

That didn’t help much. Was it okay for him to go around freely when his friend was confined to the palace? It didn’t feel right. “I’ll stay and hang out with you the next day, I promise,” Felix said.

“Really, hyung, it’s okay. I just have to wait, and I don’t mind waiting. Don’t worry about it.”

“We’ll explore together next week,” Felix promised. “And then we’ll go meet your uncle.”

“Sounds good, hyung,” Jeongin smiled brightly.

Felix returned the smile and made his way to the East Wing. Seungmin had told them a few days ago that he had told the guards that they didn’t need to be escorted there anymore, they could go anywhere freely. Felix stopped by the library, just to make sure that Seungmin wasn’t there. He wasn’t, so he went on.

He asked the guards stationed in the hallways about Seungmin’s whereabouts, and they told him that he was in his study, so Felix made his way there.

He offered a friendly smile to the royal guards stationed in front of the door. They returned the gesture and stepped aside, making way for Felix. He knocked on the door.

“Yes?” came Seungmin’s muffled voice.

“It’s me,” Felix replied.

“Come in, Felix.”

Felix pushed the door open, enough for his head to slip inside. “Hi,” he greeted. “Is this a good time?”

Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Come in, Lix,” he repeated.

Felix came in, closing the door behind him. Seungmin gestured toward the chair, urging him to take a seat. “What can I do for you?” Seungmin asked.

“Will you be calling it a day soon?” Felix asked instead, eyeing the stacks of papers on his desk. “You look tired.”

“Thank you for your observation,” Seungmin sighed, seemingly a little irritated by the remark. Felix just gave him a small smile. He thought Seungmin looked like he was going to keel over any second now, he hoped the other was actually thinking of resting. “I’ll be done in a few minutes. So, what can I help you with?” Seungmin asked, urging Felix to go back to the matter at hand.

Felix cleared his throat, fidgeting anxiously. “I wanted to ask if it would be okay for me to go again, tomorrow?” he asked hesitantly. “Kai is going to help me ask around the town tomorrow and there are… a few things I want to look into,” he added quickly.

Seungmin hummed, thoughtful. “I don’t have a problem with that,” he said. “But you’ve gotta help me, Lix. You can’t just thoughtlessly go between people who are seconds away from throwing punches—”

“I’m sorry,” Felix said with a grimace. He just wanted to help, the merchant was going to drag the kid to the guards when a young man—someone his age—came and tried to defend the kid. The merchant became even more agitated at that, looking like he was going to do something he would regret, so Felix ran over to them, standing between the merchant and the boys. He didn’t exactly have a plan, he just wanted to help stop the fight.

The merchant’s eyes fixated on Felix, and he could almost see it, the way anger filled his lungs. The merchant was big and burly, he was a lot taller than Felix, maybe even taller than Yeonjun.

“What the fuck do you want?” the merchant spat, taking a step forward.

“Hi,” Felix stammered brilliantly, a nervous smile on his face. “I overheard what happened, and I’m sorry this happened to you, stealing is wrong and—” his words were abruptly halted because the man had lurched forward and grabbed his collar with one arm, pulling Felix close to his face that he could feel his breath, and he was now slightly dangling in the air because the man was a lot taller than him.

“Woah, you’re strong,” Felix muttered without thinking.

The merchant’s face went slack for a second, eyes blank before his anger dissipated, replaced with bewilderment. “What?” he asked, fingers relaxing around Felix’s collar, so Felix landed back on the ground.

“Uh…” he said eloquently, but Yeonjun was suddenly there in front of him, standing straight and staring the other man down.

The kid had apparently, stolen some eggs and tomatoes. Yeonjun managed to make the merchant take a step back, probably because he was almost as tall as him? Or maybe because he had a similarly menacing aura, Felix wasn’t sure. The merchant continued complaining though, and he was still trying to get to the kid so that he could drag him to the city guards. The unknown man stood protectively in front of the kid, unmoving as he glared at the merchant, so Felix offered to pay for everything, twice the price.

That seemed to calm the merchant down, he squinted at Felix before he begrudgingly accepted his proposal.

“No more getting between people’s fights,” Seungmin said, pulling Felix out of his thoughts. “You know that’s dangerous.”

“I won’t,” Felix said, determined.

Seungmin sighed, his expression softening. “I’ll take your word for it,” he said. “I’ll talk to hyung in the morning.”

Felix’s whole face brightened. He knew he could count on Seungmin.

“Thanks, Seungmin!” he said a little too excitedly. “You’re the best!”

Seungmin huffed fondly. “Yeah, yeah. Save the sweet talk, I already said I’m going to help you.”

Felix beamed, “It’s just the truth,” he said. “So, you’re calling it a day, then?” he asked again, eyeing Seungmin’s cluttered desk, covered by books and papers.

Seungmin shot him an exasperated look, “Fine,” he sighed. “I was starting to feel sleepy, anyway.”

He started picking up the scattered papers and tidying them up.

Felix wasn’t really paying attention, because his eyes had found something.

Something very familiar it was painful to look at.

“Did anyone put you to this?” Seungmin asked, too focused on the papers to realize that Felix had gone completely still. “I swear you sound exactly like Chan hyung, let’s call it a day, Minnie, you need rest,” he continued, playfully mimicking Chan’s voice, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

When Felix didn’t answer, Seungmin finally raised his head to look at him. “Lix?” he asked, following Felix’s gaze.

Felix was looking at a very old, worn storybook. A children’s storybook.

The Fearful King and the Courageous Knight.

That jogged something in his mind, in his memory.

Bright, warm days. Brighter eyes, and even warmer hands.

“Felix?"

“Sorry, I…” Felix started, fixated on the book. He couldn’t look away, not when it came rushing him. “She used to read it for me,” he said, voice barely audible.

Seungmin eyed him questioningly, concerned.

Felix looked up and their eyes locked. There was fear in his eyes when he said the next words, “My mother.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened, seemingly taken aback, “Mine too,” he admitted quietly. He was now staring at Felix, his expression indecipherable, but too many things were going on in his mind he had no capacity to think about that.

His mother.

He had a mom. Of course he had, he had to have parents to be born into the world.

It was so obvious, yet it felt like a revelation, because Felix had been forgetting.

He had forgotten his mom.

He wasn’t trying to forget something, he was trying to forget someone.

Something had happened. Something must’ve happened, something horrible. And his uncle had helped him forget the hard parts.

The hard part was his mom.

It wasn’t as if she had been wiped off his mind like she never existed, the spell didn’t feel like that. Instead, it felt like his memory had been stored behind locked doors; and the doors were stopping the memories from spilling out. They were tucked at the very back of his mind, out of sight.

He had forgotten about the hard parts, the bad parts, but he had also forgotten about the good parts. He had almost forgotten about her entirely.

About her warmth, her embrace, her love.

He had forgotten the things she taught him.

Memories flashed in his mind.

“By fates,” the unknown man said, face horrified. He stared at the scene in front of him, his eyes flickered to Felix. “What happened here?” he asked as he slowly inched closer. “You poor, poor child.”

He wanted to forget.

Felix was digging, why was he digging? He kept digging and digging, until the whole was deeper than his height, until it was a lot bigger than himself.

He asked his uncle to help him forget his mom.

“You can come with me, if you want,” the man said gently. “I’m all alone, too.”

Seungmin was saying something, but it was muffled—Felix could barely hear him. He seemed concerned, worried. Felix could see his lips, he looked like he was calling his name.

“I need to go,” Felix said, he couldn’t even hear his own voice, he had no idea how loud or quiet he was being.

He turned away, scrambling as he tried to find his way out.

The door had been opened, and the memories stored behind it were slowly spilling out.

It was coming back to him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

--

 

Be brave, the mother told her son. Tearful eyes stared back, the future King wept in her arms. I will, Mother, he promised, shaky and unsure. She hoped he would find it one day, the courage in his heart.

Her precious little miracle.

Notes:

a little more about Felix's memories: he had started remembering from the very beginning of the story because his uncle had been gone for a while—he just didn't realize it yet. it wasn't mentioned when Insu last strengthened the spell because he does it when Felix is asleep, so even Felix had no idea. if you noticed bits and pieces, a sentence or a few sentences in the past chapters in Felix's pov about his mom (and dad), that's him remembering without really realizing it.

as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (earlier if i finish early). i hope you enjoyed this chapter!

EDIT: i’d usually let everyone speculate and theorize, doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong, but i thought i should set this one straight because i didn’t mean for this part in particular to be ambiguous; that last part is seungmin and his mother, the future king refers to him. the first part of the chapter is felix and his mom, i was trying to show the parallels between them for… purposes. sorry i didn’t make it clear enough :’) i feel so bad now that i see people in the comments section feeling excited about felix being a prince nsjsnsn he’s not, i’m sorry 😭😭

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Chapter 21: Beyond the Fences

Felix ran.

He ran desperately, like he was trying to escape something.

Like he was trying to outrun something.

But what use was running, when it’s your past you were trying to outrun?

“Mama,” he mumbled.

The day was bright and warm, the perfect weather to spend outside. Soon they would have to go back because it was almost time for lunch. His mama told him so, but he asked if they could stay for a little longer.

They were sprawled on the grass, cushioned by nature.

His mother’s eyes were closed, and there was a small, contented smile on her lips. She was humming that song that he loved, and he had his head on her lap.

He loved how the grass felt beneath him, warm and safe.

“Hmm?”

“If Papa loves us, why does he never visit?”

Her eyes snapped open at that.

She looked down, her gaze meeting his, “Oh, honey,” she said, her hand tenderly caressing his hair. “Your papa would be here in a heartbeat if he could.”

He couldn’t come?

Felix supposed it might be hard, his mama had told him that this place was really far from everything. Was that why he couldn’t come?

“Why can’t he?” he asked. His eyes searched hers for answers.

Her eyes looked a little sad, then. They looked really, really sad.

“Because he loves us,” she said softly, her voice tinged with sorrow. “He loves you more than anything.”

They were coming back to him.

His memories were coming back, rushing in like a stream of water—unstoppable.

“Why can’t you come with me, Mama?” he asked, eyes glistening.

He wasn't afraid of the woods, nor was he afraid of the dark. He was used to it, he grew there—surrounded by the woods, by the dark.

He was afraid of being alone.

“Because I want you to learn to do this yourself,” she replied, gentle but firm.

“But I don’t want to go alone,” he whined, lips trembling as he struggled to keep the tears at bay.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she whispered as she pulled him into a warm hug. “You’re never alone. Look,” she said, tilting her head upwards. Felix followed her gaze, looking up to the sky. “Wherever you go, the stars will come with you. They will watch over you.”

The stars will come with him.

That sounded nice. Felix liked that.

“What are stars, Mama?” he wondered, his curiosity piqued.

She hummed thoughtfully, ”The stars are our ancestors. Your grandparents and your great grandparents; their parents and their parents’ parents.”

Felix thought that it sounded like a lot of people, but perhaps it made sense. There were a lot of stars in the sky, after all.

“The Great Warrior, too?” he asked, hopeful, because if the Great Warrior was with him, there was no way he would feel afraid.

“The Great Warrior, too,” she agreed with a soft smile. “They’re with us all the time. They’re always watching over us.”

For a moment, Felix felt relieved. Maybe he could do it.

He believed his mom. They would be there with him.

They would always be there with him.

“But Mama…” Felix began as a question resurfaced in his mind. “What about when it’s bright?” he asked, feeling fear creeping from behind him. “There are no stars when it’s bright outside.”

She shook her head, “The stars are always there,” she explained. “We just can’t see them when it’s bright outside.”

Felix couldn’t understand it, not really, but it was his mama.

His mama was always right.

“And just like that, I’ll always be with you, even when I’m not,” she added. Felix couldn’t understand that as well, but he thought she looked a little sad at that.

He didn’t like it when she was sad.

“There’s nowhere you can go where I’m not with you, okay?”

It was getting harder to breathe.

Felix was pretty sure that it had nothing to do with the fact that he was running.

“Your mother has gone,” the man said as he knelt in front of him. Felix thought he could see a glimmer of pity in his eyes.  

Felix couldn’t understand. How could she be gone, when she was right here?

“She’s gone somewhere very far, far away,” the man added gently.

“Can’t I come?” Felix sniffed, trying to stop the tears. He couldn’t understand, but he knew what he wanted.  

He wanted to be with her. He needed to be with his mama.

She promised they would always be together.

“I wanna go with her, please,” he begged.

The man said he was a Magician, so surely, he could help Felix with that? He could use magic and help Felix.

“I’m sorry, kid,” the man replied quietly, softly, like he was afraid his words were going to hurt him.

He didn’t need to worry about that.

Pain was all he felt now, anyway.

He had no idea where he was going, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stop running.

He couldn’t let them catch up to him.

The Magician fell silent for a moment, his gaze fixed on Felix as he considered his words. Felix met his eyes head-on, resolute and determined. The Magician let out a weary sigh, “It will sever your bond on one side, which means that your soulmate won’t be able to feel your pain.”

“Yes,” Felix replied, sounding a little breathless. That was just what he needed. They will never find him that way.  

“Listen, Kid,” the Magician said. “It’s dangerous and most likely painful, and—”

Felix cut him off, “Please do it.”

He didn’t care if it was dangerous or painful, he had to do this.

He failed once, he couldn’t protect his mother.

He had to protect his soulmate.

That’s right, his mom was gone. His mom died, and the thought itself was enough to make him tremble because it was so very close.

That was dangerous, Felix couldn’t go further. He begged the memories to stop.

He could almost feel it again, the way his throat hurt from crying and screaming.

He needed it to stop.

He couldn’t remember, not now. Not when he was all the way out in the world, far from the shades of the woods, where there was nowhere to hide.

He begged it to stop.

 

---

 

Seungmin wasn’t sure what happened.

One second Felix was fine, he was even pestering Seungmin to rest, but then the next second he looked like he’d seen a ghost.

The book, that had to be it, right?

He saw the book, he recognized it—he said that his mother used to read it to him.

That in itself was a lot for Seungmin, because no one ever recognized the book.

It was to be expected, because it was a very, very old one. It had been in his family for generations, that was why it was so worn out; and that was why Seungmin was always careful with it. It was a very old tale. Although tales tend to become widely known over time, that wasn't the case with this one.

Seungmin had tried looking for another copy just to be safe. It would be different, it wouldn’t be the one his mother held as she read it to him, but he would have liked to have another copy just in case anything happened to this one. Not that he was planning to let that happen.

He couldn’t find one. Perhaps it was an unpopular story back then, so not many copies were printed.

That was why the fact that Felix knew it was surprising to him.

He didn’t exactly expect the other to react so intensely, though. Was he freaking out about the book or was he freaking out about his mom? The second one was more likely, in Seungmin’s opinion.

The thought made him feel uneasy, and perhaps that was why he followed the other without thinking. He instructed the guards not to follow as he hurried past them, trying to catch up to Felix. The other was remarkably fast on his feet, which somehow took Seungmin by surprise.

Fortunately for Seungmin, Felix stopped before Seungmin was too out of breath to follow. They were now in the gardens, and Seungmin could hear how the other was breathing very heavily—not that he was any better, but his was from the running and he had a feeling that Felix’s was not.

“Felix?” he asked tentatively once his own breathing had somewhat turned normal. Felix turned to him so abruptly like he hadn’t noticed Seungmin was there with him this entire time. He must have been pretty out of it if he didn’t hear him panting heavily as he chased after him and all that wheezing noise he made.

Now that Felix was facing him, Seungmin’s heart sank, because he could see his face. He looked absolutely terrified, and he was trembling.

What was wrong? What happened?

Did something happen to your mother, too? Was she terribly ill, like Seungmin’s was? Was she okay? Jeongin had mentioned Felix’s missing uncle, did she go missing with him? Just like him?

Questions were swirling in his mind, but Seungmin felt like now wasn’t the time for them.

Felix took a shaky step forward, but it was unsteady. He stumbled, and before Seungmin could think, he had instinctively reached out to steady him. His eyes were wide, all kinds of emotions brewing behind them. Fear was definitely one of them.

Seungmin watched, worried. He kept a firm grip on Felix’s elbow, fearing that if he let go, the other would fall over or something. Now that he thought of it, it would probably be better for Felix to sit down somewhere until he calmed down.

Scanning their surroundings, Seungmin’s eyes lit up when he spotted a bench a small distance away. Gently, he started guiding Felix towards it, careful not to stumble over anything. Fortunately for them, the night was clear, so he could see well enough in the dark.

To his relief, Felix let him take the lead. He was still trembling, although it wasn’t as bad. When they reached the bench, he almost toppled over it if it wasn’t for Seungmin.

It took a while, for Felix to calm down.

Seungmin wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what. He wanted to make sure that Felix was okay, but he felt like asking are you okay? would just be foolish.

“I’m sorry,” Felix finally spoke. His voice was uneven and hoarse, and he seemed unsure of his words. “I…”

“It’s okay,” Seungmin said, locking eyes with Felix as the other looked up.

He wanted to convey that it was okay, that Felix didn’t need to explain, that he didn’t need to say anything to Seungmin if he didn’t want to.

“I used to be afraid,” Seungmin muttered quietly. “As a child, I was afraid of a lot of things; of thunder and rain, of the dark and height, of loud noises. I was afraid of trying new things, even eating something new was daunting to me. I was afraid of strangers, I used to hide behind my mother all the time, especially when there were people around.”

Seungmin wasn’t entirely sure why he was sharing these with Felix, but it felt right.

Felix stayed quiet, listening.

“Perhaps that’s why I liked the story,” Seungmin continued, his gaze distant. “My mother, she liked telling me the story, too. At the end of it, she always says, that’s why you don’t need to be afraid, okay?” he smiled as he shook his head lightly, the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and fondness washing over him.

“But the day came, the day when can’t hide behind her anymore,” he said, tone turning solemn. “The day I have to be brave.”

Seungmin turned to look at Felix, catching his eyes. They were warm and empathetic. Somehow, that mattered less to Seungmin than the fact that the fear was almost entirely gone, that he didn’t look like the world was ending anymore.

“My mother became very ill,” Seungmin continued, tone somber. It felt like a confession even though the fact that his mother was ill was probably widely known in the Kingdom. “It’s something that perplexed even the best Healers in the Kingdom. It’s nothing they’ve seen before. Something they couldn’t figure out.”

Seungmin could almost feel it now, the fear. It was creeping towards him, tainting his memories. It saddened him, how every time he thought of his mother, fear would be there, too. There was warmth and kindness and love, but there was always fear. He couldn’t think of her without it, he always feared for her—for her condition to get worse, for the news that would end it all.

He was startled when he felt a gentle touch, but he relaxed once he realized that it was just Felix placing his hand on his arm. He said nothing, but Seungmin had a feeling that he was saying the same thing—that it was okay; that Seungmin didn’t need to explain, to talk, to tell.

But it felt right, somehow. It felt like Seungmin needed to tell him this. He wanted to tell him this.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “As the future heir to the throne, my safety is the top priority. I’m not allowed to see her, not until she’s cured,” he told him. He sounded too sad for his liking, but he couldn’t help it. “Even now, they haven’t found a cure for her.”

He felt a gentle squeeze, and he looked up to give Felix a small smile.

“I couldn’t hide behind her anymore,” Seungmin muttered quietly. “I had to learn to be brave by myself. She can’t be there to read stories for me anymore, but even now, I like reading it.”

“It feels like I have a piece of her with me whenever I do,” Seungmin said. “That’s why it’s very precious to me, the book. It’s the one that taught me how to be brave,” he continued. “How to be brave on my own.”

Memories flashed in his mind, of his mother reading him the story as she held him close. Those days were the most precious days to him.

“Not on your own,” Felix disagreed, his voice was not more but a whisper, but it was firm. “Not alone,” he added.

It took Seungmin a few seconds to understand what he meant.

He meant Jisung.

He meant Chan and Changbin.

He meant Minho and Hyunjin.

All of a sudden, Seungmin felt foolish. When he said on my own, he meant without his mother. That was what he meant, but he had forgotten that, hadn’t he?

All this time, he had stubbornly tried to be brave on his own. He had pushed his lovers away whenever they tried to get close—he could show anything to them, he would show them any part of him, anything but this.

He knew his mother asked him to be brave, he knew she didn’t ask him to be brave alone. That was the entire point of the book.

But Seungmin was nothing if he wasn’t an overachiever.

Especially to his parents, to his father and mother, to the Kingdom he was born to lead—he needed to be better, stronger, braver. He needed to be reliable and trustworthy, he needed to be firm and immovable.

But maybe…

Maybe Felix was right. Maybe Seungmin should learn to be brave with others, too.

Maybe it was okay to be brave with others, too.

Seungmin smiled at him. It was small, but genuine, and Felix mirrored the sentiment with a warm smile of his own.

Suddenly, Seungmin felt a little guilty. He came out here because he wanted to make sure Felix was alright, because he was worried and he wanted to help comfort him; but he felt like he had been comforted instead.

An overwhelming mixture of guilt and warmth swirled inside him—even when he was wrestling his own demons, Felix managed to somehow help Seungmin with his.

“I think it’s precious to you, too,” Seungmin said softly, redirecting the conversation back to him. “It could be yours as much as it’s mine,” he added, surprised by his own words.

He was surprised that he didn’t mind it—that he didn’t mind sharing it with Felix. He was always fiercely protective of the book. He didn’t even like it when the others were touching it because they could be clumsy sometimes and he didn’t want to risk it.

“We can read it together, if you want,” Seungmin offered.

For a moment, Felix seemed to freeze at the words and Seungmin almost regretted saying them because he could see it again, the fear in his eyes.

“Not today,” Felix said quietly, like he was ashamed.

Seungmin nodded. He needed to say something now, something reassuring, because Felix looked sad. It felt wrong, to see him sad. He was always so bright and kind, and Seungmin thought that happiness suited him best.

“One day,” Felix added before Seungmin was able to say something.

It sounded like a promise.

You don’t have to, Seungmin almost told him that, but he didn’t because maybe, he wanted that too.

Maybe one day, they could read it together, and there wouldn’t be fear in his eyes.

Maybe one day, he would trust Seungmin enough to open up about his mother, and he would let Seungmin comfort him, just like how he comforted him. 

Maybe one day, Seungmin could help Felix with his fear, just like how his mother helped him.

And maybe one day, Felix would be able to remember that there was nothing to be afraid of in the book—that it was a tale of courage and loyalty, of kindness and bravery. One day, Seungmin, too, would remember that the tale didn’t just teach him to be brave—it also taught him that he wasn’t alone.

And maybe Felix wasn’t his soulmate, but Seungmin hoped that he could remind Felix that he wasn’t alone, too.

“One day,” Seungmin agreed, he promised.

One day, they would both find courage. Seungmin was sure of it.

 

---

 

Jeongin paced restlessly around the room, growing increasingly anxious by the second.

Felix had told him that he wouldn’t be gone for long. He was just going to ask if he could go again tomorrow, so it wasn’t supposed to be long, but Jeongin had waited for a little more than an hour and Felix wasn’t back yet.

He wondered if something happened, did Seungmin change his mind about this whole thing after today’s incident? Jeongin wasn’t thrilled that Felix had recklessly got involved in other people’s business, but he couldn't blame his friend for trying to help.

He was just about to go after Felix, maybe help him convince Seungmin, but when he opened the door he found both of them in front of it, looking just as surprised as he was.

His eyes darted to Felix, and he just knew. Something was wrong, he could feel it in the air.

Maybe it was something about Felix’s demeanor, or maybe it was about how subdued he looked. Or maybe, it was the look of concern on Seungmin’s face, the one he tried to hide but was clear to Jeongin, anyway.

“What happened?” Jeongin found himself asking.

Seungmin’s smile was a little tight as he answered, “We just finished talking, and I wanted to make sure he got back alright,” he explained. “Good night, Jeongin, Felix,” he said, and with that, he left.

Jeongin watched Felix, who seemed lost in thought. He reached out and gently guided his friend into the room and onto the bed. Felix must be pretty out of it, because he just let Jeongin have his way without saying anything. Wrapping an arm around Felix, he pulled him close and covered them with a blanket, settling in silence.

To his relief, Felix snuggled closer to him.

Jeongin knew something must’ve happened, Felix had never been this quiet. He wanted to ask, but it felt like his friend wasn’t up for questions. He didn’t want to upset him further.

They stayed like that for a little while, and Jeongin almost thought that the other had fallen asleep or something but suddenly, Felix broke the silence, “I’ve been getting nightmares lately,” he muttered quietly.

Somehow, the first feeling that came over Jeongin was shame.

Here he was, having the best sleep of his life—because how could he not, when he was sleeping in Felix’s arms?—while Felix had been suffering from nightmares.

Was that why he was often gone by the time Jeongin was awake? Jeongin was an early riser, it comes with being the son of a farmer because they often worked early morning; he would tend to the chickens in the mornings too, but Felix was often gone by the time Jeongin was awake.

Swallowing heavily, he asked, “How can I help, hyung?”

Felix didn’t answer, not for a while. Jeongin almost thought that he wasn’t going to answer, or maybe he had fallen asleep, but then it came.

“This helps,” Felix replied, and Jeongin could feel his arms tightening around him as he snuggled even further into the embrace.

Relief washed over him like morning tides, because it helped Felix as much as it helped Jeongin. Because maybe Felix shared the sentiment—the world was complicated, it was full of struggles and new things to worry about, but at least, here in this room, they were safe in each others’ arms.

“Okay,” Jeongin said softly. “Would you wake me up if you ever get another one, hyung?” he asked, he pleaded, because Felix would probably refuse to do so because of something stupid—like not wanting to disrupt Jeongin’s sleep or something. “I’ll be here to help, just like this.”

Jeongin could hear as he released a small sigh.

“Okay, Innie,” he replied after a while. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, hyung,” Jeongin said sincerely.

He hoped Felix knew.

He was always there for Jeongin, he had done so much for him; Jeongin hoped that Felix knew that he would do just as much for him, if not more. He couldn’t really think of anything he wouldn’t do if Felix asked.

Jeongin always felt at home, he felt the safest when he was with Felix.

He hoped he could help Felix feel that way, too, even if only in the slightest bit.

 

---

 

Felix went to the Healer’s Guild with Kai the next day, the other seemed to think that since most magicians and sorcerers tended to work closely with healers, they might know a thing or two. Unfortunately for Felix, their search yielded no results, so Kai took him around the market to ask his friends and acquaintances about his uncle.

By the end of the day, Felix was fully convinced that his uncle went by another name, there was no other explanation—there was no doubt.

This meant that he should probably give up searching for him, because he had no idea what that other name was.

He believed his uncle was alright, he had to be.

His only hope was that if he came home and Felix was nowhere to be found, he was fairly certain that Duskwood would be his first stop. Felix would like to think that he knew enough people in Duskwood, the people he weren’t too familiar with know that he was looking for his uncle, so they would be able to point him to Wooyoung’s place, at the very least.

And then Wooyoung could point him to the capital. He didn’t know where Felix and Jeongin were staying, but he could just send them a letter or something.

The unfruitful day ended in a sense of heaviness Felix couldn’t seem to shake, but Kai was cheerful and fun to be with, so at least Felix had a lot of fun hanging out with him and Yeonjun.

He spent the whole next day with Jeongin and the others, which was very relaxing. Jeongin had started gardening, to Felix’s delight. Apparently, Minho’s mom was a Herbologist, so their bonding time involved a lot of plants and herbs. Minho told them that it became one of the activities he found relaxing, and he had offered Jeongin to join him a few days ago. Felix got to join them today, which was fun.

Over the next few days, he had settled into his new routine: he spent his mornings up until noon with his friends in the Palace, and then after lunch, he would go to the city—to the public library, to be exact.

Quite a few things happened.

First, he had memorized his way through the underground tunnels. At least the ones that led to the public library.

Unfortunately for him, that meant nothing to Chan because when he told him that he didn’t need to be escorted and was perfectly capable of going into the city himself, the other just gave him an apologetic look before going into a whole speech about how he wasn’t doubting Felix’s capabilities—which Felix thought was nonsense, he was definitely doubting it and his whole opinion was solely based on the unfortunate encounter Felix had gotten into that first day—but he wanted to ensure Felix was safe and he would be doing a lot for his peace of mind if he lets Yeonjun or one of the guards accompany him to the city.

That was a mouthful. The point was, Chan didn’t want him going out without a guard. He had tried reasoning with him, even begging, but he wasn’t budging. It didn’t help that when he looked around the room to ask for someone to support him, everyone did their very best to avoid his eyes. Even Jisung. Even Jeongin.

It was almost as if they agreed with Chan or something.

“Hyung,” Felix said, addressing him that way on purpose because maybe that would help sway him or something—Felix would call him hyung and Chan would allow him to go to the city himself; that sounded like a fair trade. Funnily enough, Chan’s eyes widened comically at that, but Felix had a feeling that he knew exactly what Felix was trying to do. “The city is about an hour on foot through the tunnels. If you make them come with me every single time, I’d feel very bad for them.”

“They’re perfectly capable of handling a one-hour walk,” Chan told him. Felix had the urge to interrupt just to point out that it was a two-hour walk in total if you include their journey back, but he managed to hold himself. “You don’t need to feel guilty about it, Felix.”  

“But—"

“Think about it this way,” Minho said, clasping his shoulders. “We all have to have guards with us whenever we’re out and about. It’s only fair that you do, too.”  

Felix frowned, turning to face him, “But hyung, I’m not—”

“It’s called solidarity, Felix-ah,” Minho interrupted before he could finish.

“That doesn’t make any—"

“How about this, at least let them escort you to the city,” Changbin stepped up, stopping the arguments. “Once there, they don’t have to follow you around or anything, they could just wait near the entrance or something, but you’ll have to find them at 6 o’clock sharp so you’ll be back in time for dinner.”

“Yes!” Felix said quickly before anyone else could say something. That was better than having someone go with him the whole time—he didn’t mind if it was Yeonjun since they’re friends and Felix would like to think that the other enjoyed his company, too, but even then he’d feel bad if they made Yeonjun go with him all the time. He must have things he’d want to do too, like his exercises, his responsibilities, and spending time with his family and friends.

Different guards had been accompanying Felix to the city the past few days. Felix decided that even though he felt guilty that they were being made to do this for him, he didn’t mind the company that much. It was nice to have someone to talk to as he navigated through the dark tunnels. He got to know them better and heard them talk fondly about their family, or their favorite pastime activities.

His research into soulmates and magic has yielded results, too. Well, the soulmates more than the magic, but still. Admittedly, Felix hadn’t gotten that far with the magic part of his research. If he had to read about the theories behind spellwork one more time he might just stab himself in the eyes.

There were a few things he learned about soulmates.

He learned that they don’t feel each other’s pain in its full intensity, the soulmates feel a slightly duller version of the pain—so it was not as bad as the one experiencing the pain.

The knowledge filled Felix with relief; even though it had been a long time since the others felt his pain, he was glad to think that they didn’t feel it fully.

The next thing he searched relentlessly for was about soulbonds, a subject that was crucial for him to understand. He needed to make sure that his soulbonds weren’t developing, he needed to stop it from developing, so he had to know what exactly makes soulbonds develop.

When a soulbond develops and turns into an established bond, soulmates are more connected and in tune with each other. Soulmates turned into something more; they became one—they became family.

His curse extended to families, so he could never let that happen.

Felix knew little about soulbonds. Everything he knew was from his uncle. Now that he had done his own research, he found out that the things Insu told him had been more or less accurate.

Soulbonds are bonds between soulmates, an innate bond everyone was born with.

There were several forms of soulbonds: its original form, its established form, and its broken form.

The original form represented the bond's initial state, connecting soulmates through fate and allowing them to feel each other's pain.

A soulbond will start changing—developing—once soulmates find each other; it will grow stronger and stronger, it will grow firmer as the soulmates get to know each other, spend time together, and develop a genuine connection with each other. A soulbond became fully established once the soulmates consciously devoted themselves to one another—once they acknowledged the fated bond between them and chose to love one another.

That sounded like a lot to Felix, but if anything, he felt relieved.

He knew the others were his, but they didn’t know that he was theirs, so they hadn’t found him yet.

Even more, they weren’t gonna devote themselves to Felix or whatever, the thought was so ridiculous he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. They couldn’t acknowledge something they didn’t know, and Felix would never acknowledge the bonds. He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but if he kept telling himself that they weren’t soulmates, and that he didn’t want to be their soulmate, it would probably count as not acknowledging it, right?

This was all very confusing to Felix, maybe he should try talking to someone who understands soulbonds.

He should be good for now, though. They had no idea he was theirs, so their soulbonds will never be established.

That was good enough for Felix.

Mood lifting, Felix continued reading. Unfortunately for him, the next part did a great job bringing his mood back down. It was the part about broken soulbonds.

A soulbond breaks when one of the bonded dies.

The book described it in great detail—too much detail to Felix’s liking; how painful it was, how it felt like a part of you had been physically ripped away.

Felix didn’t like that part. Wasn’t death supposed to be mercy?

Why did it have to be painful, for the people who were left behind, even?

Death had always been… a destination. Something Felix waited for patiently, because it was all that was left for him, wasn’t it? He couldn’t remember the entire reason behind it, but he was certain of it; that had been his plan for as long as he could remember.

He would live a quiet, peaceful life in the forest, and when death finally came knocking on his door, he would come willingly. His soulmate—his soulmates would never know, they would never know he existed, and he could drift away while they get on with their lives.

But that was too much to ask, wasn’t it? The soulbond will let them know, because death will break their soulbond, and they will feel the pain of the bond breaking. 

The thought filled him with dread. Death was certain, and at this point, he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to outlive any of them.

Wait, maybe there was something he could do about it.

His uncle.

His uncle had helped him before, maybe he could help him again. He had told Felix about it before, he had made sure Felix understood that soulbonds were not made to be tampered with; and doing anything to it, every magic related to it was beyond dangerous.

Felix knew it, he understood it more than anyone.

Even now he was paying the price. Even now he was enduring the consequences of said magic; he couldn’t live without his potions—his painkillers—because the pain was too much for him. The pain of a forced, one-sided, broken bond.

Felix understood it better than anyone, which was maybe why he found that he didn’t mind it.

Maybe once they’re reunited, he could ask his uncle about it. Maybe there was a spell, another spell that could help. A spell that would make it so that if—when he dies, they won’t feel a thing. They would be spared from the pain of a broken bond.

That sounded like a plan. Now Felix just had to make sure that he survived until he found his uncle.

That sounded doable.

Maybe.

He hoped that the curse would wait a little longer, give him more time, maybe. Was there a church around here? Maybe he could pray to the fates for more time. The Fates listened to everyone’s prayers, wasn’t that what he was taught?

He had figured out enough about soulmates, so today he decided to focus solely on magic, even when thinking about magic itself made him feel slightly nauseous.

Magicians and Sorcerers have all of his respect, honestly. Reading about magic makes Felix's head spin.

Hayeon had sent him more letters with more soil samples because she had encountered another area that felt wrong a few days ago. Felix regrettably informed her that he could see those weird ashes slash dust in the sample. Hayeon told him that this was a different area entirely.

Even worse, she told him that the animals had tried to get into the village several times now, some deer, boars, and bears. Even birds had somehow migrated into the village, which made things a bit hard for the farmers. Thankfully the walls were up, although they weren't done yet, she said they were going to make it two meters tall, at least; not that it would do anything to the birds.

Her latest letter, which Felix received earlier today, informed him that the guild was sending some representatives to Duskwood. They were going to conduct a purifying ritual, and she would be sending more samples his way once they were done.

Her most recent theory was that the animals were running from those weird-ash things, they called it the rotting now.

They weren’t coming into the village to attack people in particular, they were coming into the village to escape the rotting. Even though humans couldn’t sense the rotting, animals had no problem doing so, after all, so maybe that was it.

Felix prayed the next sample he received would be free of residual magic and those darkened dust.

"Reading about magic again?" an amused voice interrupted his thoughts.

Right, that also happened. Felix had made a friend.

It all started two days ago.

Felix was engrossed in his reading at the library, particularly focusing on the topic of soulmates. He was trying to find something that could indicate that a soulmate's death didn't have to be painful or something because he still didn't want to accept that part of it.

Suddenly, he noticed a distressed little girl who was looking around like she was trying to find someone. She looked like she was two seconds away from crying, so Felix closed his book and stood up before he went and approached her, trying to make himself appear as friendly as possible.  

"Hi," he greeted her.

Startled, she turned to look at him, her wide eyes filled with fear.

Felix tried to make himself look as not intimidating as he could, not that he thought he was particularly intimidating, but he probably looked that way to a kid. "Are you lost?" he asked softly.

The girl seemed to contemplate his question, she looked like she was trying to decide whether he was a good or bad guy. After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded, so Felix thought that she decided that he wasn't a bad guy or a potential kidnapper or something.

"That sounds scary," he empathized with her. This time, the girl nodded enthusiastically, like she agreed wholeheartedly with that statement. Felix smiled at her, "Do you want help finding your parents?"

For a second, Felix thought he had finally scared her off because she started looking around like she was searching for an escape route, but then she looked up at him and answered, "Not my parents," she said. "My brother."

"Okay," Felix said. "Do you want help finding your brother?"

She thought it over before she gave him a small nod.

Relieved, Felix extended his hand for a handshake, "Great. I'm Felix."

Hesitantly, the girl took his hand and shook it. "Felix," she repeated shyly.

"Do you want to tell me your name?" Felix encouraged. She mumbled the answer, but Felix couldn't really hear what she said, "Sorry, I couldn't really hear that. Could you repeat it for me, please?"

"Minkyung," she said quietly.

"Minkyung," Felix beamed. "That's a beautiful name."

Minkyung's face lit up with pride in response. "Mama named me," she told him proudly.

"That explains why it's such a beautiful name. Your mama must be very smart."

Minkyung beamed, "She is!" she agreed. "She's smarter than Papa!"

That made Felix laugh, and to his relief, Minkyung joined in, too.

"Alright, why don't we go ask the librarian about your brother? She might know something, what do you think?"

"Okay!" Minkyung agreed.

There was a librarian for every floor, so they ended up going to all four librarians to ask about Minkyung's brother whose name was Hyunwoo, but unfortunately, none of them was of any help.

Minkyung looked like she wanted to cry again by the end of it, so Felix crouched and asked, "Why don't we read something as we wait for him?" he suggested. "What kind of books do you like?"

Minkyung’s big, teary eyes stared back at him. "I like books with animals in it," Minkyung sniffed.

"Yeah? Me too!" Felix replied with enthusiasm. "Let's go look for those, alright?" he offered his hand.

Minkyung nodded, gratefully accepting it.

That was how Hyunwoo found them a few hours later. Felix couldn't believe it took him hours to find his missing sister. The library was big, but it wasn’t that big.

"Minkyung-ah!" a voice called, drawing all of Minkyung's attention away from the book. She jumped off her chair and ran to her brother. Felix thought she was going to hug him, but she stepped onto his feet very deliberately, ignoring her brother's indignant ow! before she started hitting him.

"You lied!" she cried out, and Felix could see how people were starting to stare now. "You said you're going to the library but you're not! Liar!"

To his credit, Hyunwoo looked guilty. He tried calming her down with apologies to no success, so Felix decided that he should try helping because the other people were starting to glare at them.

"Minkyung-ah," Felix called gently.

To his surprise, Minkyung stopped her attacks almost immediately. She turned her head to look at Felix, face streaked with tears. "Oppa lied," she said like she was trying to get Felix on her side.

She didn't have to do that, Felix was definitely on her side.

"But he apologized," Felix said despite himself. "Do you know what we should do when someone apologizes?"

Minkyung pouted, "...Forgive," she said.

Felix smiled warmly, "That's right," he said, tone urging.

Minkyung looked like she wasn't entirely up for any forgiving just yet, but she turned to Hyunwoo and said, "I forgive you," she told him. Felix could see the shock on the other's face before it melted into a fond smile.

"Thank you, Minkyungie," Hyunwoo replied

After that, Hyunwoo thanked Felix profusely and Minkyung made him promise that they would play together again. He agreed even though that felt rather unlikely.

Felix thought that was the end of it, but the next day, Hyunwoo appeared out of nowhere. He almost made Felix jump out of his seat because he was entirely too focused on his book.

"What are you reading?"

Startled, Felix closed the book abruptly and replied, "Fates," with a huff.  

"Spell Crafting 101: Foundations for Novice Mages," Hyunwoo read the title out loud. "Are you an aspiring magician or something?"

"No," Felix replied. "I'm just... interested in magic," he said vaguely. He hoped that was enough to satisfy the other, but unfortunately for him, it wasn't.  

"Yeah?" he asked, sounding intrigued. He pulled the chair beside him and sat down, "Why so?"

"No reason," Felix answered brilliantly. "It's just interesting."

"Can you wield magic?"

"No," Felix replied. He hoped Hyunwoo would stop asking questions about magic. He didn't exactly want to accidentally expose his weird ability to see magic; not after Hayeon. What if someone was insane enough to gouge his eyes out or something?

"Those without magic don't generally go around reading books about magic," Hyunwoo told him. "It's like... Like reading a book about how to use your third arm when you don't have a third arm."

Felix sighed internally, he needed to stop Hyunwoo from whatever he was on. "How's Minkyung?" he asked changing the topic abruptly.

Hyunwoo raised his eyebrows at that, "She's grounded."

"Grounded?" Felix frowned, puzzled. "Why? You're the one who lied."

"That's not how it went," Hyunwoo replied with a sigh. "Well, I guess I did lie about going to the library, but Minkyung left all by herself. She must've overheard me telling our staff that I was going to the library, and then decided to sneak away when no one's watching to come after me."

"Oh," Felix said. He guessed that made sense, Hyunwoo wasn't even in the library. That was why it took him a while to find Minkyung. 

"When I got back, everyone was panicking because she was nowhere to be found. Thank fates I thought to check the library before anything else. She likes to eavesdrop, that little rascal."

Hyunwoo ended up staying with Felix for a while. Felix enjoyed his company, and fortunately for him, he didn't pester him about magic anymore. Instead, he told him about Minkyung and her antics, telling him about how she wouldn’t stop talking about Felix.

When it was time for him to leave, Hyunwoo turned and asked, "Will you be here tomorrow, too?"

"Most likely," Felix replied with a small shrug. "Why?"

"No reason," Hyunwoo grinned. "See you tomorrow, Felix!"

True to his word, he was here again. Somehow, Felix felt like he wasn’t going to get a lot of reading done today.

“I don’t see a sign saying that people without magic are not allowed to read books about magic,” Felix retorted without looking up from his book.

“I guess there isn’t such a sign,” Hyunwoo replied, amused. “Would you come with me today?”

Now that was not something Felix expected. He finally looked up from his book to catch Hyunwoo’s eyes. “Come where?”

“It’s Minkyung’s birthday next week,” Hyunwoo explained. “Help me pick a present for her.”

Felix perked up at the mention of birthdays. He loved birthdays. Without hesitation, he stood up enthusiastically, “Let’s go!”

Hyunwoo watched him in amusement, but said nothing in return. They made their way out of the library and into the crowded street, walking side by side.

For the next few hours, Felix and Hyunwoo roamed the city, searching for the perfect gift for Minkyung. He knew the girl liked animals and books with animals in them, but Hyunwoo had provided more details about her current interests. Apparently, she was currently obsessed with unicorns and purple because of a children’s book their mother bought her, a short story about a purple unicorn lost in the woods.

Felix thought that it would be a good idea to get her something purple or something unicorn-themed. They almost settled for a unicorn plushie. It wasn’t purple, to Felix’s dismay, but Hyunwoo told him that she had a lot of plushies, so he wanted something different for her.

In the end, they settled for multiple animal-themed coloring books and a new set of crayons. Felix was a little disappointed that they couldn’t find a unicorn-themed coloring book, but he supposed that was a little too specific.

Hyunwoo was satisfied with the selection, though, and was ready to end their shopping spree, but Felix thought that something was lacking—no birthday was complete without a birthday letter.

As they were queuing to pay, he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of the pair in front of them.

“Did you hear? They’re building a public bath at the South District,” the first man said.

“Another one?” his blonde friend asked, sounding annoyed. “What, did they think that building more things would solve everything?”

“I know right,” the first man agreed. “They’re sucking us dry with the taxes, and all we got is just… a public bath,” he scoffed.

“They’re ridiculous, their lot,” the blonde said gruffly. “They don’t care about us, not in the slightest bit.”

The first man sighed, “Why isn’t the King doing anything about this?”

“Maybe he doesn’t care, either,” the blonde told the other. “Or maybe, he’s too busy taking care of the Prince. You know the rumors about him, he’s a handful, that’s what I heard, him and his band of mates.”

“That’s not true,” Felix disagreed before he could think. The two men turned to him, and it was then Felix realized that he had said that out loud.

"What do you know, kid?” the blonde asked, tone mocking.

Now that their attention was on him, Felix gulped. Even Hyunwoo was staring at him now, seemingly intrigued. “I mean, I’m sure that’s not true. The prince seemed nice.”

“What, you’ve met him or something?” the blonde asked incredulously.

Fates, he was so stupid. Why did he have to say that out loud? Now they think he had met Seungmin.

“No,” Felix replied quickly. “But I’ve seen him from afar, and I thought he seemed nice?” he said. He sounded hesitant even to himself. He wasn’t hesitant about Seungmin’s niceness, he was hesitant because he was trying his best to lie properly.

The blonde laughed at him, “Oh, please, kid,” he said. “Don’t be naive. Those nobles and royals are scums, they don’t care about our lot.”

Felix didn’t like how that sounded. “Well,” he began hesitantly. “There are good and bad people in the world, that’s a given, but I think it’s not fair to judge solely based on someone’s status,” he continued quietly.

The blonde was going to say something, probably a retort, but his friend was faster, “Huh,” he said. “I guess you have a point. Just because they judge us by our status, doesn’t mean we gotta stoop to their level. We’re better than that,” he said, and Felix watched as the blonde friend closed his mouth shut. “I hope you’re right, kid,” the first man continued. “I hope we’re wrong about them.”

Felix smiled at him, feeling relieved that the first man was rather reasonable.

It seemed like he wanted to say more, but it was their turn to pay so they turned their attention to the shop clerk. By the time they were done, the first man offered Felix a small smile before leaving.

“I didn’t think you’re one to debate strangers,” Hyunwoo told him once they were out of the shop.

“I wasn’t debating them,” Felix retorted, but then he felt stupid, because he was debating them, wasn’t he? “I just… I was just saying my opinion out loud,” he said, cringing at his answer.

Hyunwoo smirked, “Right,” he said. “For what it’s worth, I agree with you.”

Felix paused in his tracks, taken aback by the statement. He didn’t know why he found that so surprising, but he did.

“You do?”

“Is that so surprising?” Hyunwoo said, nudging him to start walking again because the crowd was thick around them. “And yes. I find things related to classes and statuses more trouble than they’re worth.”

Felix let out a soft sigh at that, “Yeah,” he agreed. “They really are, aren’t they?”

Hyunwoo gave him a knowing smile. “Alright, we’re done with the shopping, right?”

That was when Felix remembered about birthday letters. Hyunwoo should have parchments in his place, but they need to find a beautiful envelope to accompany it. Maybe something purple? He had a feeling Minkyung would like it.

They found a shop that sold writing supplies, and Felix was delighted to find purple envelopes there—he didn’t even know that envelopes were available in so many different colors.

When he handed it to Hyunwoo, though, the other simply stared at it in confusion.

“I’ll just hand the birthday card myself, there’s no need for an envelope,” he told Felix.

“No, it’s for the birthday letter,” Felix explained.

Hyunwoo blinked, seemingly confused. “Birthday letter?”

Felix nodded. “Aren’t you gonna write her one?”

“I’ve never written anyone a birthday letter before,” was Hyunwoo’s ridiculous reply.

“What?” Felix asked incredulously. “But a birthday letter is the most important part of birthdays!”

“It is?”

“Yes!”

“What would you write in one? Happy birthday?” Hyunwoo asked curiously. “I can just write that on the birthday card.”

“No! I mean, yes, sure, you can include that, but birthday letters are more than that. It’s where you write the important things, like how much she means to you, the things you like the most about her, your hopes for her.”  

Hyunwoo just stared at him blankly, “Do I have to do that? She’s six.”

“Of course you do,” Felix told him with a huff. “Children are extremely sensitive, and they have good memories. They’ll remember it forever. I still remember what…” he trailed off, faltering for words when he realized what he was going to say.

“What..?”

“What my mother wrote to me in my birthday letters back in the day,” Felix said quietly.

It was happening again. He was remembering her.

It wasn’t anything bad, but it hurt all the same, because it reminded him of how much he missed her. She would write him one every year, very long ones, too. She would read it to him before he was able to read, and when he finally learned how to read, she’d sit there as she listened to him read the letters out loud.

“You know what time it is?” she’d ask him with a conspiring smile on her face.

“Birthday letter time!” he’d reply, jumping in excitement.

It was their special little tradition. Before he learned how to read and write, he’d draw her stuff and she’d listen to his nonsensical babble as he explained what he drew for her.

Felix loved birthday letters. They were heartfelt and beautiful, and as he grew up, they became his favorite part of his birthdays.

“Alright,” Hyunwoo said, and Felix looked up to see him smile. There was a hint of worry on his expression, and Felix realized that he might’ve spaced out, too drowned in his thoughts. “I’ll write her a birthday letter.”

Felix returned the gesture, “She’ll love it.”

He went and paid for the envelope. When he came back, he had a satisfied look on his face. “Thanks for helping me with this,” he thanked Felix. “Our mother usually handles all the presents for birthdays, shopping is not really my thing. I would usually just ask what Minkyung wants and let Mother know about it, but she’s being surprisingly fussy this year. I guess she’s still a bit miffed at me, since I lied the other day. She insisted that I put effort into Minkyung’s gift this year. She was like, the art of gift-giving is not to be underestimated,” he said with a sigh.

Felix laughed at that.

“Yeah, you can laugh. You have no idea how much I suffer each year. She takes birthdays and parties and gift-giving very seriously,” Hyunwoo continued.

“She sounds wonderful,” Felix grinned.

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes, but Felix could tell that he shared the sentiment, too. He must be really fond of her.

“I’ve got to go,” Hyunwoo said. “See you tomorrow?”

Felix mock-glared at him. “Must you disturb me every day?” he asked jokingly.

He was a little bummed he couldn’t get more readings done, but he actually enjoyed Hyunwoo’s company. He supposed he could do more reading back in the palace—reading about Soulmates was certainly not a good idea, but reading about magic wouldn’t do much harm. If anyone asked, he could just tell them about his uncle, or maybe about Hayeon and how he used to work for her.

“Too much reading is not good for your health,” Hyunwoo teased before disappearing into the crowd, leaving Felix shaking his head with a mixture of exasperation and fondness.

There you go, that was his very first friend in the capital.

 

---

 

Felix breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the public library in the distance. He had to use the map and ask around to get back there, because Hyunwoo had left him somewhere in the shopping district—it was different from the central market, there were fewer people there, but it was still pretty crowded. It took him a while, but he finally made it here.

Folding the map and tucking it safely into his pocket, Felix was about to make his way to the library when he heard someone calling out to him.

“Hey, you!” a voice called.

Turning around, Felix scanned the area for the source of the voice and soon recognized a familiar figure. He furrowed his brow, trying to recall where he had seen the person before. Said person was now quickly approaching.

“Oh,” Felix said just as the man reached him, face lighting up in recognition. “It’s you,” he muttered.

It was the same person who defended the kid in front of the merchant, the one who had stepped in before Felix could. He wondered what he wanted.

The stranger scrutinized him for a moment before he spoke up, “Name’s Siwoo,” he said. “Jang Siwoo.”

Felix brightened at that, he just wanted to introduce himself. Maybe he wants to be friends. “Lee Felix.”

“Lee Felix,” he repeated. Siwoo considered him for a moment before continuing, “Come with me.”

Felix tilted his head curiously. Siwoo seemed like a decent person, and Felix was always open to making new friends, so he replied, “Okay.”

Strangely enough, the other squinted his eyes at Felix, and Felix started to feel like he was being tested and he just said the wrong answer or something.

“Just like that?”

“What?”

“You didn’t even ask where we’re going,” Siwoo pointed out gruffly.

Felix blinked slowly, “Where are we going?” he asked.

Siwoo gave him a flat look, “To my place,” he said, and then without any further explanation, he turned and started walking.

Felix had never met anyone quite like Siwoo before, but he found the other intriguing.

Now better at navigating himself around the capital, Felix trailed behind Siwoo, focusing on his back as he dodged the bodies around them. He didn’t have the capacity to pay attention to where they were going, but he thought he’d be fine since he had the map. Mr. Kang told him he could keep it. He was fairly sure he could find his way back to the library later.

Not too long after, they stopped in front of a shop, Jang’s Clockwork, he read the sign.

Siwoo pushed the door open, and Felix followed behind hesitantly. Inside, there was a woman behind the counter.

“Welcome!” The woman greeted, wearing a friendly smile on her face. Her eyes flickered to Siwoo for a moment, like she was asking for an explanation.

“This is Felix,” Siwoo introduced him. “He’s the one from the other day, the one who helped stop Mr. Joo from—“

“Oh dear,” the woman said as she hurriedly came out from behind the counter. “Felix!” she said, a hint of excitement in her face as she came closer and grasped his hands. She caught his eyes and gave him a grateful smile. Felix returned the smile despite feeling clueless, “Thank you for saving our Siwoo from a lot of trouble.”

He heard a huff from behind him, and the smile on her face faded into a look of annoyance as her eyes shifted back to Siwoo.

“Have you thanked him, Siwoo?” she asked sternly.

There was a sigh before he responded. “Thanks,” Siwoo grumbled, sounding like he didn’t feel particularly thankful.

“That’s not how you thank someone properly, young man,” she scolded, shooting him a glare.

“It’s oka—“

“You’re making a big deal out of this, ‘Ma,” Siwoo protested. “I wasn’t going to get into trouble. I could take care of myself.”

“No, you can’t,” she retorted. “Not with that temper of yours. We both know that if Mr. Joo dragged that kid to the city guard, he was going to drag you along because you’d have done something you’d regret,” she turned to Felix, face apologetic. “I’m sorry, our Siwoo has a very bad temper. Inherited it all from his ‘Pa, I’m afraid.”

Felix could hear Siwoo grumbling unintelligibly, like he didn’t agree with that statement.

Mrs. Jang clasped her hands, eyes lighting up. “Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

For dinner? Chan was never going to allow him to go to the capital alone ever again. “That’s a very kind offer, Mrs. Jang,” Felix thanked her sincerely. “But I should probably get going soon. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense,” she waved him off. “Let us thank you. It’s about time to close the shop, as well. I’ll get dinner going. Siwoo, why don’t you show Felix your room? I’ll call you when dinner’s ready,” she said as she went and flipped the store sign.

Felix was about to say something, to argue back, but she had disappeared to the back of the store. He turned to Siwoo helplessly, hoping that the other could help or something.

“No use arguing with ‘Ma,” Siwoo said with a shrug. “C’mon.”

He led Felix to narrow stairs towards the back of the shop, just before the door Mrs. Jang disappeared behind. Now that he had the time to pay attention to his surroundings, he noticed how the walls were fully decorated by clocks. Some looked very old, and the others were shining like they were newly made. Felix thought they looked cool.

Siwoo cleared his throat, drawing his attention back to the present. Felix turned and followed him, going up the stairs, finding himself on the second floor.

Siwoo led Felix to his room, which served as a bit of a reality check for Felix. Right, this was the normal size of a bedroom. It was smaller than Wooyoung's room, so it felt somewhat cramped for the two of them. The furniture was crowded together, there was a small bed, a small and cramped bed, and a wardrobe. There was an empty space on the floor, Felix almost sat there but Siwoo told him to sit on the bed instead.

They settled into an awkward silence. Felix wasn’t entirely sure why Siwoo brought him here if he wasn’t feeling all that thankful to him—not that Felix thought that he saved him or anything, he just helped a little.

“So,” Felix began hesitantly. “Is he alright?”

Siwoo turned to him, eyebrows slightly raised.

“The boy,” Felix clarified.

The other paused before he answered, “No idea.”

Felix blinked. “What?”

Siwoo looked at him like he thought Felix was rather stupid, “I have no idea,” he repeated as if repeating the words would help Felix understand better.

“You don’t know him?”

Siwoo huffed, “No,” he replied. “He’s from the slums, how should I know him?”

“The slums?” Felix asked, confused.

That must be the wrong response, because Siwoo gave him a calculating look. “You’re not from here, aren’t you?”

Right. Felix supposed that would be obvious now. “Something like that,” he said sheepishly.

“I knew it,” Siwoo scoffed, sounding weirdly satisfied. “Everyone knows to mind their own business here.”

“You came over to help, too,” Felix pointed out.

Siwoo shot him a half-hearted glare, “Well,” he said. “Didn’t you hear my ‘Ma? It’s my temper.”

Felix didn’t think his temper had anything to do with his willingness to get into trouble to help a stranger, so he just gave him an unimpressed look. “How do you know where he’s from if you don’t know him?”

“From the way he’s dressed,” Siwoo sighed. “And he stole. Every parent knows to teach their children not to steal because no one wants to deal with the city guards, they’re especially rough on people like us. That means either his parents don’t care, or maybe they’re the ones who told him to steal. Even the city guards know not to go as hard on children with the beatings.”

“The beatings?” Felix repeated, horrified.

That made Siwoo pause.

And then, instead of answering, Siwoo asked him. “What are you doing here in the capital?” he asked like he thought Felix had lost his mind. “It’s your first time here, isn’t it? Please tell me you’re at least here with someone.”

“I came with a friend,” Feilx answered vaguely. “Why?”

“Where’s your friend, the one you were with that day?” Siwoo asked back.

Felix wished Siwoo would stop answering his questions with questions, but he answered regardless, “He’s busy,” he replied. “Why?” he pressed.

“Didn’t he tell you anything?” Siwoo asked incredulously. “Listen, I kinda owe you, so I’m gonna tell you this. Avoid getting involved with the city guards while you’re here. That means don’t do anything remotely illegal, and don’t look at them in the eyes if you see them down the streets. Got it?”

That was… not what Felix expected. What’s wrong with the city guards? Blinking owlishly, he replied, “Not really.”

“Great,” Siwoo said, sounding like he didn’t expect better from Felix.

“Wait, let me finish,” Felix told him, frowning. “Aren’t guards supposed to, I don’t know, guard people? Keep everyone safe? Help people?”

“Sure they do,” Siwoo told him. “Just not everyone. They help those with money. They don’t generally mess with those who work at the palace, too. But normal folks like us?” he scoffed.

Felix felt a little sick, all of a sudden. That sounded wrong, but what does he know? The guards in the palace were nice, but maybe they were different from the city guards. Felix believed that they were all genuinely nice, he loved talking to them and listening to them talk about their family, but Siwoo’s words made him think. Would his experience in the capital be very different if he wasn’t Seungmin’s guest? If he stayed somewhere else all by himself?

“That doesn’t sound right,” Felix said, because it didn’t. “Shouldn’t they be reported? To the King? The Prince?” Maybe he could tell Seungmin about it.

Siwoo stared at him like he just suggested he come up to the King and do a cartwheel or something. “The royals don’t care about us,” he said incredulously. “The King’s too busy with who knows what, and no one ever sees the Prince. If there wasn’t the Sunblessed Ceremony, I don’t think we would ever see him and his mates,” he added, scrunching his face in distaste. “At least once a year we’d know they’re still alive. Not that I care, since I don’t think the prince cared about us in particular. He always looked so bored in the ceremony.”

That doesn’t sound right. Felix knew that wasn’t right, Seungmin cared deeply about the Kingdom and its people. He knew because he had seen it, the other was always working, he was always studying. A while ago, Felix spotted him reading a book about ancient military tactics and when Felix asked why he was reading it, his answer had been Just in case. Maybe one day the knowledge will help the Kingdom, in case it was ever needed.

Felix had started paying attention to the books Seungmin read then, he read everything. From A Great Empire’s Financial Strategies to Charmcraft: Defending with Enchantment to Fertilizing for Dummies: All You Need to Know!

Felix must’ve stayed quiet for too long, because Siwoo spoke up, “Anyways, just avoid getting involved with the guards and you’ll be fine,” he said, as a matter of factly. “And steer clear from the slums. Someone like you will be eaten alive.”

“Hey,” Felix protested indignantly. “I might look…” he trailed off, what did he look like?

“Stupid,” Siwoo supplied.

Felix threw him an irritated glare. “Unthreatening,” he corrected, enunciating the word unnecessarily clearly. “But I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Yeah?” Siwoo challenged. “You’d have figured something out if your friend didn’t help that day?”

“Sure I would,” Felix said, but he sounded unconvinced even to himself.

“’Woah, you’re strong’?” Siwoo mimicked him incredulously, and Felix groaned. He knew what was coming, he had got it all from Yeonjun already.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud!” he protested with a heavy sigh. “I’m not stupid, I was going to say something el—”

He was ready to defend his honor, but he didn’t, because suddenly, he felt a sharp pain on his face—like someone just headbutted something really hard. Or was hit with something really hard, on the face.

Siwoo waved his hand in front of Felix’s face, trying to get his attention.

Paling, Felix turned to him, “I’ve got to go.”

Siwoo blinked, probably surprised at the sudden turn of events. He considered Felix for a moment, but then very unexpectedly, he nodded, “Okay.”

“I know your Mom invited me for dinner, and I’m really thankful—” Felix began, only to realize that Siwoo wasn’t arguing with him, nor was he asking Felix to explain. “What?”

“Okay,” Siwoo repeated exasperatedly. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to ‘Ma. C’mon, I’ll sneak you out. Just try to be quiet, will ya?”

Grateful, Felix nodded mutely. His new friend might be grouchy, but Felix never doubted that he was a good person. He jumped in to help that boy, after all.

Siwoo grabbed his forearm and they went quietly—trying to make their footsteps as quiet as possible. Once outside, the other walked with him a bit further before letting go.

“Go,” Siwoo urged. “I’ll tell ‘Ma you’ll come some other time. I’ll get in trouble for this, so ya better come. She doesn’t like owing people favors.”

Scrunching his face, Felix responded, “You don’t owe me any favors,” he said. “But I will. Thanks.”

“It’s whatever,” Siwoo said. “Go.”

Felix gave him a grateful smile and turned, but then he remembered that he didn’t exactly know where he was, so he stopped. Reaching into his pocket to pull out the map, he decided against it. Instead, he turned back around and walked back to Siwoo who was thankfully, still there.

“Could you tell me how to get to the library?” Felix asked sheepishly. “I have a map, but I’m kinda in a hurry, so I think I’d get there faster if you just tell me how to get there. Please?”

For a moment, Felix thought that Siwoo’s kindness would go on without any of his original grumpiness, but he was clearly wrong.

“You’re so stupid,” Siwoo told him like he genuinely meant it. Felix didn’t have it in him to feel offended, because by now he figured that it was just his personality and he was too busy worrying about what happened to the others—who got hurt? “What happened to ‘I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself’?”

Felix had no time for this. He huffed, “Are you gonna help or not?”

Siwoo rolled his eyes like he thought his question was also stupid, “C’mon, dumbass,” he said. Without warning, he grabbed Felix and started dragging him towards, he hoped, the public library.

Felix let him have his way and he wondered about his friends.

Did Jisung slip and hit himself on a particularly sturdy piece of furniture? Did Chan get hit when he was sparring? He was always so careful, Felix knew he always tried his best not to get hurt because he didn’t want the others to get hurt, too. He always used the full protective gear even if it was only a spar and his opponent wasn’t using any. Felix had watched as he apologized profusely to Jeongin for that pain all those weeks ago, that first pain that made Felix realize that he had more than one soulmate.

Felix had no idea. The pain was pretty sharp, so whoever it was would be getting a bruise or something.

There was no follow-up pain, though, so it was probably an accident. They were probably alright.

Right?

 

---

 

The air was thick with tension.

“Leave,” Chan said, voice quiet, but it was laced with fury. His body was taut in anger, like he was ready to pounce.

Either time stopped, or everyone present just collectively decided to hold their breaths, too afraid to even make the slightest move.  

“Leave!” he barked when nobody moved, this time with a thunderous intensity that shattered the silence, noise reverberating through the room.

It didn’t happen much, but it was happening now. Chan was furious.

Notes:

can anyone guess who got hurt and why 😂

also someone suggested a discord server for the fic where people can discuss theories about it, not sure if anyone else would be interested in that but let me know if you are! (edit: https://discord.gg/p2Dx6JeMyX)

the next chapter will be up next wednesday (earlier if i finish early). i hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Chapter 22: Tides of Change

Jisung could hardly believe what was happening.

The fates must be playing a cruel prank on them. That must be it.

Jisung would like to once again state that the Byung brothers never visited more than once a month; they only came once every month, that’s it.

None of them particularly enjoyed the company of Byungjoon, thanks to his less-than-stellar personality, and while Byungho had always been nice enough to them, none of them had truly hit it off with him. Somehow, their interactions with him had always been awkward.

Well, maybe not always. He used to be not awkward when they were young, Jisung would play with both him and Seungmin. He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly Byungho became so awkward, but that happened.

While Jisung wasn’t exactly thrilled to have them there, he wouldn’t have minded it as much if they weren’t hiding anything, but they were. They were hiding something very big. They were hiding someone. They were hiding their last soulmate, the one they had searched for years, the one who had rejected them.

That hurt, but Jisung liked Jeongin.

Jisung also liked Felix, maybe a little more than he liked Jeongin for now just because they hadn’t spent as much time together and Felix was never intimidating. He genuinely liked them both, and he wanted them to be happy. It would’ve been perfect if they could all be happy together, but Jeongin wanted Felix and Felix wasn’t their soulmate—so it wasn’t that simple.

The point was, Jisung had never felt so stressed in his life, because Byungho and Byungjoon had once again, come unannounced.

Once again, they came even though it hadn’t been a month since their last visit.

Jisung should’ve tackled Chan and made him promise not to play nice with the brothers just so that they understood that they were not welcome here. What use was that when it was all too late? Byungho and Byungjoon were here, and they had accidentally stumbled into both Minho and Jeongin before anyone could warn them.

When Jisung got there with the others, Byungjoon was very much scrutinizing Jeongin from the top of his head to his feet, face scrunching in distaste.

Not that Jisung minded or anything, but at least Felix had those proper clothes despite being a commoner. Jeongin had no such thing and after those spectacular arguments they had the first few times, everyone thought that offering him new clothes would just offend him or something.

It wasn’t a problem, Jeongin could wear anything he wanted, none of them would say anything, but unfortunately, Jisung couldn’t say the same for other people. Especially someone like Byungjoon.

Minho was meeting his eyes head-on. He positioned himself in front of Jeongin, but that didn’t do much because Jeongin was glaring at Byungjoon.

“Ah, Cousin,” Byungjoon shifted his gaze toward them as he noticed them approaching.

“Don’t I feel loved,” Seungmin said, voice slightly strained. “The increased frequency of your visits surprises me to no end, Cousin. I did not know you enjoyed our company that much.”

“Ah, well, I thought Kkum might have missed me,” Byungjoon replied, but Jisung knew that was bullshit.

He probably came here just because he subconsciously sensed that it would be a huge inconvenience to them. That was definitely it.

“Who’s this?” Byungjoon asked the question Jisung didn’t want him to ask the most.

Jisung hated him so much.

A heavy silence hung in the air, and Jisung was sure that they all were having a mental breakdown at this point.

“…This is Felix’s friend, Jeongin,” Chan answered for them when the silence stretched for too long.

Jisung wasn’t sure if that was the best cover, but then again he wasn’t sure what other alternative they could use.

“Felix,” Byungjoon’s eyes seemed to light up at the mention of Felix. Curiously, Jisung watched as Byungho’s face lit up similarly. “Is he here, too?”

“He’s not,” Hyunjin answered, tone clipped like he was discouraging any more questions.

“Shame,” Byungjoon remarked, looking genuinely disappointed. “Well, give me his address, then,” he demanded.

Jisung caught Minho’s eyes, and he knew they were thinking about the same thing. Why the heck would Byungjoon want Felix’s address?

“What for?” Changbin challenged.

“It’s none of your business, is it, Changbin?” Byungjoon asked condescendingly, before his eyes flickered toward Seungmin. “But if you must know, I offered him a job. Did he mention anything about it? Did he say he was interested?” he asked, perking up at the thought. “I would take good care of him.”

Jisung was about to say a thing or two about that, because somehow the thought of Felix being Byungjoon’s flower boy made him feel nauseous and angry. The thought of Felix being anyone’s flower boy made him feel angry.

“Don’t talk about hyung like that,” an unexpected voice joined in. Jeongin stepped from behind Minho, standing straight and very much not intimidated or afraid of Byungjoon—if anything, Jisung thought he looked like he was ready to fight him or something. “He’s not interested.”

Byungjoon turned to him, eyes sharp. His whole demeanor shifted in a second. He was going to be nasty to Jeongin, Jisung had no doubt about it. “I don’t see him saying that, do I?” he asked coldly. “Who are you to answer for him, anyway? Are you his soulmate or something?”

Jisung watched as Jeongin flinched slightly at that, probably in reflex. It was slight, but it certainly didn’t escape Byungjoon’s attention. Jisung could see it in slow motion, how his expression melted into a mocking one. “You’re not, huh?” he taunted, just for fun. “Then you have no right to answer for him. Don’t glare at me, peasant. Know your place.”

If Jisung was angry, Jeongin was seething.

He could sense how his mates shared the same sentiment.

“Listen, you—“ Minho started, but Jeongin was already moving. He lurched forward, to say or do what, Jisung would never know, because before anyone could do anything, Byungjoon had punched him right in the face.

The shock of the pain made Jeongin stumble backward, and it took the sucked out of Jisung because fates, that hurt. Instinctively, his hands flew to cover his head, as if he was trying to shield himself from the damage that had already been done. He could see Hyunjin doing the same with an aborted motion, while the others merely flinched.

What came after was silence, and Jisung’s mind took a moment to catch up, because Byungjoon and Byungho both turned to them, eyes wide in shock.

Byungho was clearly stunned, he stood there gaping; while Byungjoon regained his composure rather quickly, a surprised laugh escaping his mouth.

Turning to Seungmin, he said, “You found yet another one of yours?” his gaze briefly flitted toward Jeongin. “A peasant, at that. Still, how very greedy of you, Cousin.”

That was when Jisung’s mind finally caught up to the situation.

Byungjoon had punched Jeongin in the face.

They all felt his pain, and reacted very obviously because nobody saw that coming.

Byungjoon, Byungho, and their band of guards had witnessed it, how they all reacted to Jeongin’s pain like it was theirs.

They knew.

Suddenly, the anger burning inside Jisung turned to dread, and dread soon turned to fear.

They knew.

They knew now.

The air grew thicker with tension.

“Leave,” Chan said, voice quiet, but it was laced with fury. His body was taut in anger, like he was ready to pounce.

Either time stopped, or everyone present just collectively decided to hold their breaths, too afraid to even make the slightest move.  

“Leave!” he barked when nobody moved, this time with a thunderous intensity that shattered the silence, noise reverberating through the room.

It didn’t happen much, but it was happening now. Chan was furious.

For a moment, Jisung watched as Byungjoon froze, visibly surprised at the abrupt change in Chan’s demeanor. Chan had always been the most cordial with them, he had always been the most patient, and he had always played the mediator. Despite the situation, Jisung felt a small burst of satisfaction. Chan finally treated Byungjoon the way he deserved to be treated.

Byungjoon controlled his expression, masking his surprise with his signature sneer. “Whatever,” he said dismissively. “I’m sick of your faces, anyway,” he spoke as if he wasn’t the one who came unannounced and very much uninvited to their home. “Do teach your peasant mate to know his place, Cousin.”

Seungmin stepped forward, and for a second, Jisung thought he was going to try to resolve this peacefully or something, but Seungmin’s tone was acidic when he spoke up, “You need to know your place,” he retorted. Jisung didn’t need to look at Seungmin to know what kind of expression he had, he could imagine it. “Leave.”

Before Byungjoon could say or do anything dumber to escalate the situation, Byungho finally stepped in, grabbing his brother’s arm and pulling him away. He looked like he wanted to say something, probably an apology because that was always how it went—Byungjoon would test their patience to its very limit and Byungho would apologize for him—but he decided against it.

They all watched their retreating figure in silence, no one moved or said anything until they closed their door behind them. Even after, no one said anything for a while.

“Jeongin,” Seungmin said, breaking the silence. His face was full of worry, “Are you—“

“I’m fine,” Jeongin said curtly.

Jisung knew that was a lie, because he had his hands clenched into fists, and there was a storm brewing in his eyes.

It was then Jisung remembered; they knew about Jeongin now.

From the way Jeongin was holding himself, it seemed like he realized it, too.

It was true that Jisung had been beyond excited when he first found Jeongin.

It was true that he had been heartbroken when he told them that he had no intention of staying with them, not because he was in love with Jeongin or anything, but because he was their soulmate. Jisung had a lot of those, more than everyone around them had, but he loved every single one of them and he wouldn’t want to have it any other way. 

It took a while, for them all to get to this point, but now that they were, he had no doubt that they were meant to be.

He had no doubt that Jeongin was meant to be with them, too, but not like this.

Not this way.

Jisung genuinely liked Felix, he was really fond of the other.

Felix was kind and bright, he was thoughtful, and he always had something nice to say.

He hadn’t been here long, but Jisung felt like Felix could sense it when he was having a particularly bad day—when his thoughts were too loud and his mind wouldn’t let him breathe.

Jisung would typically spend that kind of days under the blanket, or in the arms of his lovers.

But there were other days.

There were days when didn’t want anyone’s company.

Those were the days when he’d be particularly thankful for how big the palace was. He was thankful that there were a lot of hidden passageways—secret passageways.

There was a reason why Jisung knew more secret passageways than anyone else.

He loved exploring the palace. He discovered a lot of secret passageways, some of which were really dusty, an indication that no one had used them in a long while.

He shared some with his mates, but he kept others to himself, for days like this.

He would use them to hide, someplace where he could just be alone.

It wasn’t good, Jisung knew it, because whenever he did that he was just letting his thoughts beat him down until there was nothing left standing, and then his mates would be left to pick up the pieces. He knew it wasn’t good, that he shouldn’t do it, but he couldn’t help himself.

The feeling came over him like a hurricane.

Jisung was frantically heading towards one of the passageways, particularly the one that was located behind the fireplace on the second floor of the West Wing. There was a small lever on the side of it, which would reveal the passageway behind it once pulled.  

The passageway led to a dead end, a small, hidden room with a very small window facing the gardens. It was one of Jisung’s favorite hiding places, he even kept a pile of blankets there to keep himself comfortable there.

The last thing he expected to see when he had crawled through the narrow space, arriving at the room, was Felix.

The other had been just as startled as Jisung for a second, but then it turned into excitement.

“I can’t believe there are hidden rooms here!” he gushed as he looked around the room in appreciation. “It’s like the ones in the books! Big old castles with secret passageways!”

He turned to Jisung, probably to see his reaction, but Jisung was too exhausted to say anything. Wordlessly, he went towards the pile of blankets on the ground, and sat on it, hugging his knees and burying his head.

Jisung knew Felix was probably confused, he braced himself for the questions, but they never came.  

Instead, Jisung felt him settle onto the floor beside him, their shoulders brushing against each other.

Instead, Felix started talking about his day; about how he had spent his morning being the cooks’ test subject, and how he found this particular place because he was following the ants. 

Jisung wasn’t even joking, that was exactly what the other said.

Felix’s particular talent at befriending animals wasn’t new to Jisung, he’d heard both Minho and Changbin talk about it. He’d heard Jeongin talk about it, his smile fond as he told them about the crow and the fox.

Jisung thought ants were pushing it, though.  

Surprisingly enough, he found himself really invested in Felix’s nonsensical story about his day that it drowned his own thoughts—it drowned that nasty voice, so Jisung eventually raised his head, “Thank you,” he muttered, a small smile on his face.

He could see how Felix’s eyes lit up at that, how his shoulders started to relax; he could see a hint of relief on his face. “What for?” he asked lightly with a smile of his own.

They shared a look then, and Jisung finally realized it—that this person was safe.

Not everyone was safe. His soulmates were safe, but not everyone was.

He didn’t find that many people safe, there were his mates, there was his father… he couldn’t really think of anyone else, he suddenly realized.

Admittedly, making friends hadn’t been on his agenda for a very long time. The last time his father told him to do so was when he was six; he had gently nudged Jisung forward towards a visibly anxious prince who was hiding behind his mother.

Parties and gatherings with the Nobles were superficial, Jisung had no idea who was genuine and who was just trying to get their favor.

Felix had been his first friend in a very long time.

Jisung wasn’t entirely sure how Felix felt about Jeongin, but he doubted Felix would be delighted to hear about what had just transpired.

He caught Seungmin’s eyes, it was full of worry and guilt now; Jisung knew, because that was probably how he looked like, too—it was probably how they all looked like, because Jeongin stood there, arms around himself like he was going to crumble.

He looked like he just received a death sentence, like his whole world was crumbling.

This couldn’t be it.

There had to be something they could do for them, for Jeongin and Felix.

Jisung hoped Felix would hurry back home.

He was always so positive and bright, maybe he could provide them with some positive energy or something, because Jisung was sure that the only thing everyone was feeling now was hopelessness.

But above all, Jisung hoped that Felix could hurry back so that Jeongin would stop looking like that.

 

---

 

They found themselves in the Dining Room, not long after.

Minho had offered to call the Court Healer for Jeongin, but the other refused.

“It’s fine,” Jeongin said, his voice hollow. “It doesn’t hurt.”

That was a lie, if Jisung knew one, especially because they could all feel the pain. Minho didn’t agree, Jisung could tell that none of them agreed, but no one wanted to debate Jeongin.

Not now, not after what just transpired.

The room was heavy with silence. Jisung wished he could say something to ease the tension, but was there anything left to say?

“Jeongin…” Seungmin started, voice tinged with guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jeongin replied quietly. “I was the one who picked fights with him. If I wasn’t so stupid—“

“No,” Hyunjin disagreed firmly. “He was antagonizing you. He has always been an asshole. It’s not your fault.”

Jeongin went quiet at that.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, sounding tired all of a sudden. “I’ve already told Seungmin I was planning to stay.”

What?

Jisung’s head snapped to Seungmin, he could see the others doing the same thing. Seungmin tried to maintain a stoic expression, but Jisung could see how increasingly distressed he was.

“You did?” Hyunjin asked in disbelief.

“But what about Felix?” Changbin asked right after.

Jeongin turned to Changbin, a bitter smile on his face. “Hyung doesn’t see me that way,” he told them.

Jisung wondered what that meant. Did Jeongin confess? Did Felix reject him?

He wanted to ask, but that would be insensitive.

Chan and Minho remained suspiciously quiet.

“Jeongin,” Seungmin began, expression troubled. “I…”

“It’s okay,” Jeongin interrupted, voice tight. “I know you meant what you said, but I have no choice now. I have to stay.”

If anyone told Jisung that he’d feel heartbroken when Jeongin finally agreed to stay, he would never believe them. Now that it had happened, Jisung felt the urge to argue. But how would he argue with reality.

Seungmin looked like he was going to try, anyway, but he didn’t get to because the door to the dining room burst open, revealing Felix behind it. He looked like he had been running, his breaths coming in short bursts.

He was just about to say something, but he didn’t get to because Jeongin had practically shot up from his seat and lunged for a hug, ignoring the startled yelp Felix made.

Just like that, the room was enveloped in silence. They all watched as Jeongin clung to Felix like he was his lifeline.

Almost instantly, Jisung could feel the guilt increasing tenfold.

They had done this.

He had done this.

 

---

 

Felix was late.

He couldn’t believe of all days, this was when he ended up getting home late. He wasn’t really worried about the consequences, though, because he was too preoccupied with worrying about what had happened.

Upon his arrival, the guards informed him that everyone was in the Dining Room, so he hurried there.

He had just entered the room when he found himself with an armful of Jeongin, who almost knocked the breath out of him.

“Innie?” he asked, worried. He searched the room for any signs of injuries, but he couldn’t spot any obvious wounds, although everyone was so tense which made Felix feel extremely anxious.

His brain was still trying to catch up to everything, to conclude what happened from what he was seeing, because no one seemed injured while the first thing Jeongin did when Felix stepped into the room was tackle him into a hug, which meant that something really bad had happened, and most likely, it happened to Jeongin.

“What happened?” Felix asked the room, eyes begging for answers. Jeongin was holding—he was squeezing Felix so tightly it almost hurt. Felix had his arms wrapped around him protectively.

“Byungho and Byungjoon came,” Hyunjin told him, expression troubled.

Felix blinked in surprise.

That was not what he expected  

Didn’t someone say that they only come once a month or something?

“Byungjoon hit him in the face,” Hyunjin continued, and Felix’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?” he asked, horrified. Instinctively, he tried to pull away, just so that he could look at Jeongin properly and make sure he was alright, but the other didn’t let him. If anything, he tightened his arms around Felix, so Felix just started rubbing his back soothingly, if only to provide the tiniest little bit of comfort. “Why? How did that happen?”

Minho let out a long sigh, “Byungjoon was being a prick, as always,” he said like that would explain everything.

It seemed like Byungjoon had a rather strained relationship with everyone, but he couldn’t understand why that would extend to Jeongin. He didn’t even know him.

“Innie, are you okay?” Felix tried, once again trying to pull away to make sure that Jeongin was okay.

This time, Jeongin finally relented, but everything came to a stop once Felix saw his face.

Jeongin was on the brink of tears, his eyes unblinking, as if he feared that blinking result in the tears pouring out. Their gazes locked, his eyes pleading.

Somehow, Felix didn’t need him to say anything this time. A sense of deja vu washed over him, and he knew what Jeongin trying to say.

His thought drifted back to Duskwood. If he closed his eyes, he would be able to see it—the shady tree they were sitting under; the smell of grass around them.

“Don’t let them see me, hyung,” Jeongin had said. “Please.”  

“Felix?” a voice snapped him back to the present. Felix wasn’t sure who was it, but he had probably been silent for too long.

“I need to talk to Jeongin,” he declared, eyes not leaving Jeongin’s. “Privately.”

With that, he gently tugged Jeongin away from the dining room, away from the East Wing, away from prying eyes.

Jeongin kept his head down as they made their way back to the West Wing, but once they were there, safe and alone in their room—it was their room at this point, calling it Felix’s room was just inaccurate because Felix never slept there alone, anyway—Felix turned to him and there they were.

The tears.

“Innie,” Felix whispered. It sounded like a plea. “Innie, what’s wrong?” he asked.

Did it hurt that much? It probably hurt as much as a punch would hurt. Felix thought that it didn’t hurt that much.

But then again, he knew he had a different kind of pain threshold compared to other people because of his situation, so he couldn’t be too sure.

Was it just the punch, or was it something else, too? Felix hardly thought that Jeongin would look this sad, this heartbroken because of that. He wasn’t playing it down, nor was he okay with the fact that Byungjoon had hurt Jeongin; Felix was properly upset at Byungjoon. He thought better of him.

Jeongin just stood still this time, so Felix took the initiative and pulled him into a gentle hug. That was apparently all Jeongin needed to let go. He started crying and holding onto Felix like they were soaring through the skies and Felix was the only one with wings, or something.

Felix could tell that Jeongin was trying his best to stifle his sobs and not make any noise, and he was failing. Between gasps and sobs, he managed to speak, “They know.”

It was just that. Just those two words, but Felix could feel the blood draining from his face.

“What?”

“They know that I’m,” Jeongin let out a stuttering breath. “That I’m their soulmate.”

Felix was… what was he feeling?

He felt a whirlwind of emotions.

He had no idea what he was feeling, because it was everything mixed together.

How many times had this happened? How many times had he found himself helpless in the face of reality?

It felt like he was trapped in a cycle, Jeongin would get hurt and Felix would just be standing there, useless as always.

Felix wondered how he could say it, how he could convey what he was feeling to Jeongin. What could he say to him? At this point, Felix doubted he could even provide him with the tiniest little bit of comfort.

“I want to go home,” Jeongin said, voice breaking. Felix held him even tighter, but remained silent.

He waited for the words to come, because Jeongin had been suffering alone all this time; he had been suffering in silence, keeping the words safely caged inside of him.

“I want to wake up early and tend to the chickens, I want to work in the fields with dad, I want to fool around with the hyungs,” Jeongin said, words spilling uncontrollably now. “I want to spend more time with you, you could tell me about your books while I plow the fields. I want to see your fox friend and try petting him once. I want to go fishing with everyone, we could secretly laugh at Wooyoung hyung because he was so bad at it, and then I’ll tell you to watch as San hyung not so discreetly tried to switch their fishing rods because Wooyoung hyung’s bait was never hooked properly, and we could both watch as he smiled his ridiculous, lovesick smile as he watched Youngie hyung get all excited when a fish takes his bait.”

Jeongin took a shuddering breath, but he continued. “I want to eat at the dining table with my parents each night, tasting mom’s cooking as we talk about our days. I want you to come and join us for dinner sometimes, because my mom thinks that you need to eat more, and she really enjoyed talking to you. I want to stay at the lake with you at night, and maybe we could see those fireflies again. I want to go to the bookstore with you, we can look around and spend the entire day there, and you can tell me about the ones you liked the most,” he said, voice breaking.

Felix wasn’t even trying now, he had fully given up trying not to cry.

“You can,” Felix told him, Felix promised him. “You will.”

Jeongin let out a wet, self-deprecating laugh. “I don’t think I can, hyung. Not anymore.”

“You can.” Felix persisted, sniffling. “I’d fight Chan hyung if I had to,” he declared, which made Jeongin giggle. “But Chan hyung is nice,” he continued. “Everyone’s nice, they’re good people. You don’t have to worry about not being able to do all those things, because you will. I think they really care about you.”

They settled into silence for a little while before Jeongin spoke up.

“I’m going to say something very selfish,” Jeongin said, voice a little muffled. He said it like he was warning Felix, like he wanted Felix to stop him.

Instead of offering a verbal response, Felix leaned in and pressed his lips gently against Jeongin’s forehead.

Jeongin let out a noise of surprise, shivering at the touch, “Please don’t leave, hyung,” he begged. “Please stay with me, I’m—I,”

“Yes,” Felix interrupted.

The noise that escaped Jeongin sounded like a mixture of a sob and surprised laughter.

“Hyung—“

“I’m staying,” Felix said, pulling away to look Jeongin right in the eyes.

Jeongin let out a heartbroken sob, hand instinctively flying to Felix’s face, seemingly surprised at the sight.

Because Felix had been crying, too.

He thought it was rather obvious, but Jeongin was now frantically running his thumb over the underside of his eyes to wipe his tears away.

Felix grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, which finally calmed Jeongin’s frantic movements.

“Be it the King, the whole Kingdom, of the Fates themselves, I’ll always have your back,” he told Jeongin, voice steady despite the tears that clung to his lashes. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “I promise.”

Felix meant every word.

He, more than anyone else, knew what it was like, to be utterly alone.

He would never let Jeongin feel that way, not if he could help it.

Jeongin was shaking now, a sob escaped his lips every so often. He bit his lips in an attempt to stop it, eyes squeezed shut.

Felix knew that he wasn’t thinking rationally—rationality had left him the moment he saw Jeongin like that—he wasn’t even thinking at this point, he was purely acting on instinct and raw emotions. Before he realized what he was doing, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Jeongin’s cheek, just below his eyes, in an attempt to kiss the tears away. 

It tasted salty, and a hint of rationality was starting to come back to him so Felix was about to pull away, but Jeongin let out a strangled cry and nuzzled closer, like he was pushing himself into the kiss.

Well.

If Felix spent the next few hours comforting Jeongin that way, what would anyone say about it?

If when he pulled away eventually, muttering that he was going to get Jeongin a glass of water because he must be feeling dehydrated by now, the younger had tightened the grip and begged him to stay, saying, “I don’t need that. I just need this,” what was he going to do?

He stayed there, and he gave Jeongin just what he wanted, that’s what.

And when morning came, and Jeongin had finally exhausted himself from crying until he fell into a fitful slumber, he whispered promises of reassurances into the air, into the stillness of the room, into the rhythm of his steady breaths, because Felix had no idea how he could fix everything for Jeongin, but there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him.

There was no price he wouldn’t pay for him.

He promised.

 

---

 

Changbin thought this entire thing was bullshit.

He thought that he’d feel relieved, when Jeongin finally expressed his intention to stay, but all he felt was guilt.

Sure, it would mean that they could keep him safe, which meant that they would all be safe—here in the palace, protected by the fences and the countless guards they had.

But Changbin also knew that it meant Jeongin had to let go of his life.

They all had to, but Changbin supposed Jeongin had to let go of more things compared to everyone else.

Jeongin was from Duskwood, and while Changbin was pretty much a commoner before they found Seungmin, he was from the capital. They all grew up in the capital.

To Changbin, being mated to Seungmin was a gift; it was a blessing.

Sure, he didn’t understand it fully back then, but he understood a few things.

He understood that he had to move to the palace and stay with the royal family, because his safety was now vital to the Kingdom.

He understood that he no longer needed to worry about his mom’s potions and medication, because the King was helping them with it.

He understood the look of relief in his dad’s eyes, because even though he had been working at Redmont for as long as he could remember, they were still commoners, and the ingredients to his mom’s potions and medications were rare and expensive.

At least for commoners like them.

Chan’s family, Chan’s dad had been helping them with it, because as a Courtier he earned a better wage—but even then it wasn’t enough. They still lived in fear, from paycheck to paycheck, dose to dose.

However, everything changed after they found Seungmin—or more accurately, when Seungmin found them. They didn’t need to worry about her medications anymore.

The King had the finest healers caring for her, conducting routine check-ups and ensuring her well-being.

Changbin could never repay them; he could never repay the King, repay Seungmin.

Perhaps that was why it was so hard for him at first, to hear Jeongin say all those things. To hear him say so resolutely, that he had no interest in being their mate; that he wasn’t even planning to stay and give them a chance, get to know them before anything.

He said it all in his tattered clothes. Those couldn’t be comfortable to wear.

Changbin was a commoner, and even his clothes were still better than that.

But it seemed like that didn’t matter to Jeongin. He cherished his life the way it was, and perhaps there was nothing wrong with it. There was definitely nothing wrong with it, but Changbin’s temper had gotten the better of him, and he spoke without thinking.

He did feel passionately about it after all, about the King, about being mated to the Kingdom’s Sole Heir; which had been his saving grace.

But watching Jeongin yesterday, the way he looked like he was bracing for death or something, really helped Changbin understand.

Just because it was his saving grace, doesn’t mean it had to be that way for Jeongin, too. He deserved a choice in the matter, the right to determine the course of his own life.

After Felix came and took Jeongin away, they never returned to eat their dinner; and the servants had informed Chan that they weren’t responding to anyone knocking on the door.

The fact they skipped dinner made Chan worried—to be honest it made them all worried, but against his instincts, Chan told the servants to let them be and give them space.

Now they were sitting around the table for breakfast, and Changbin could see it.

They could all see it the moment they came in.

Jeongin’s eyes were puffy and swollen, like he had spent the entire night in tears. Felix didn’t look any better, it looked like they had both been crying all night. There was exhaustion in their eyes.

The sight made Changbin ache, and for a second, he had an overwhelming urge to march over to the Redmont palace and strangle Byungjoon to death or something.

He caused this, Changbin told himself, but a part of him knew that it wasn’t Byungjoon entirely.

Jeongin was their soulmate.

Changbin had always been grateful to the fates, how could he not be, when he had five kind, loving, and gorgeous soulmates?

But maybe they made a mistake with Jeongin, because all being their soulmate had brought him was pain. All he had gotten was pain and distress and anguish; and it was clear that he wouldn’t be happy here in the capital, in the palace.

Changbin couldn’t imagine what would happen if Felix wasn’t there. Jeongin would probably have attempted to flee the palace at every opportunity.

Taking a quick look at his lovers’ faces was a bad idea, because their expressions mirrored what Changbin was feeling inside. None of their eyes were red and swollen, none of them had cried last night, but Changbin would’ve thought he did with the heaviness that had settled in his chest.

“Good morning,” Felix greeted as he settled into his seat, his hand intertwined with Jeongin’s. Jeongin just settled into his seat mutely. They both looked exhausted, like they barely got any sleep last night.

Breakfast was silent. For the first time, no one said anything, there was no conversation—everyone just sat and ate their breakfast in silence.

Even when the servants arrived to clear the empty plates, nobody uttered a word for a brief moment.

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin finally broke the silence. Changbin turned to him, worry etched across his face. They all felt guilty about what had transpired, but Seungmin probably took it twice as hard, if not more. He always did, when it comes to this.

“No more apologies,” came Jeongin’s reply. “Please just tell me what’s gonna happen.”

In all honesty, they were all taking it hard.

Chan had been silent ever since last night, he barely uttered a word. Changbin had known him for the majority of his life, and he could practically sense what was going on in his mind. He was definitely beating himself up for not being able to stop Byungjoon, and for letting Jeongin get hurt, both physically and emotionally.

One look at Minho and Changbin knew that his other hyung shared the same sentiment. He was definitely berating himself because he was standing right there, closest to Jeongin during the altercation, and he wasn’t able to do anything to stop Byungjoon.

In Changbin’s opinion, it was no one’s fault but Byungjoon, but he knew even if he told them that, it was just going to fall on deaf ears.

The news had come to them this morning, how the news had reached the rest of the Royal family, the King in particular, which had set in motion a series of decisions and events. 

“The King has been informed about you,” Chan spoke, voice tight. “He will be coming to join us for dinner in three days.”

There was a brief pause before Jeongin responded, “Okay,” he said. “What else?”

“You will be set up with the Court’s staff, and there will be… adjustments in your schedule,” Chan continued. “It’s not just you, it’s protocol. Each and every one of us had to—“

“Okay,” Jeongin repeated, seemingly not caring about the reassurances or explanation, urging Chan to get into the matter at hand.

Swallowing heavily and locking eyes with Changbin briefly, Chan continued. “A tutor will be assigned to you, they will teach you everything you need to know. You will also be scheduled for an appointment with the Court Healer for a general checkup. Felix, that goes for you, too, as requested by the Royal Chamberlain. They’ll probably be here on the morning of the King’s visit,” Chan said, turning to Felix, face apologetic.

For a moment, Changbin thought that Felix was turning a little pale, but maybe that was just his imagination. Felix simply nodded stiffly.

To Changbin, Chan looked like he was going to be eaten alive by his guilt, so he was just about to step up and continue the explanation, but Minho beat him to it.

“You will also have an appointment with the Royal Seamstress, who will conduct her measurements to prepare your wardrobe,” contrary to Chan, Minho spoke calmly, face expressionless. To others, it would seem like he was unbothered, to Changbin and his mates, the slightly pinched expression was clear as day. “Other than that, there’s only the Protocol Officer left, as well as the Master of Ceremonies. They will also be helping with your preparations.”

This time, Jeongin didn’t answer verbally. He gave them a slight nod in acknowledgment, though.

An uneasy silence enveloped the room.

“Do you have any questions?” Seungmin inquired softly, quietly.

“No,” Jeongin replied, just as quietly. “May I be excused?”

Seungmin gave him a smile, but all it did was make him look sad, “Of course, Jeongin. You don’t need to ask.”

“Thank you,” Jeongin muttered. He stood up, pulling Felix along with him because of course their hands were still intertwined.

Felix smiled wearily and gave them a small wave, looking like he was concerned about them, too.

They disappeared behind the door with a soft click, and the atmosphere in the room felt even more stifling, if that was possible.

Alright, this might be the time for him to step up. They needed to talk about this.

“I’ll be in my study,” Seungmin announced before Changbin could say anything, rising from his seat.

“Minnie,” Changbin let out a soft sigh. “We need—“

“My Father is coming,” Seungmin said like it was the answer to everything. “I have to make sure that everything is in order,” he added, and then without letting anyone say anything in response, he left.

“My parents sent me a letter,” Hyunjin said soon after. Wordlessly, he got up and left without further explanation, too.

Shit. They must’ve heard about the news already.

Changbin didn’t really need an explanation from Hyunjin, they all knew how his parents were. He was still upset though, because he thought they would get to talk this out and resolve this tense atmosphere they had.

As if that wasn’t enough, Jisung followed their lead, too.

“Sungie,” Changbin pleaded, but Jisung didn’t even spare him a glance before he left.

Minho let out a small sigh. “I’ll get him before he disappears,” he said, and Changbin had nothing to say to that because someone needed to do that. When Jisung didn’t want to be found, no one could find him, and they couldn’t have that.

Not right now.

That was how Changbin found himself with Chan in the dining room, just the two of them.

“Don’t shut me out, hyung,” he told Chan before the other could say anything.

Chan offered a faint smile, seemingly exhausted beyond words, like even smiling was too much for him. “I’m sorry, love,” he murmured, slowly rising from his seat and Changbin knew there wasn’t going to be any talking now. “Not now,” he added, and he was gone.

That was how Changbin found himself in the dining room, all by himself.

He was frustrated.

Things were not going to resolve themselves magically, they needed to sit and have a conversation. He couldn’t have a conversation all by himself. He was upset, too, but he didn’t shut himself off from the others, did he?

Taking a deep, calming breath, Changbin stood up.

He needed to clear his head. He needed a distraction.

 

---

 

If there was anything Jeongin was going to learn about life, he didn’t think this would be it. He didn’t think that in his twenties, he’d find out about a fear he didn’t think he had.

The fear of change.

In his defense, he never thought that there would be that much change in his life, but what did he know? Maybe the fates kept the changes away just so that they could surprise him with them now.

Jeongin might not have accepted his situation, but he had started attending the lessons.

Apparently, being the soulmate to the prince entailed a very detailed, comprehensive lesson plan he had to get through to be deemed fit as an heir. Jeongin had never gone to school—no commoners go to school. Everyone was raised independently by their parents, prepared to inherit the family business or the family’s line of jobs. No commoners go to school, only children of the fortunate, the have, the rich do.

For Jeongin, it had been his mom, the one who taught him to read.

He could read, but he wasn’t a reader—that was Felix. Even more, while he used to wonder what schools were like, he didn’t think it’d be so boring. Listening to an unfamiliar person drone on about topics that held little interest for him was far from enjoyable. If that wasn’t enough, said person would stop from time to time and with their sharp eyes, questioned him on the things they just told him.

He had only done it for a day, and he hated it already.

He told Felix just that, and the other had ruffled his hair and chuckled, offering words of encouragement. “You just need to find a way to make it fun,” Felix had told him.

Fun? If Jeongin could be honest, he thought that the word fun did not belong in the same sentence as the word lessons or studying. 

The next day, he was in his second lesson for the day. The tutor was someone named Mrs. Kwon, and she had been talking on and on about the Nobles.

If there was something Jeongin didn’t want to hear about, it was this, but what could he do?

“The Twelve Noble Families, also known as the Twelve, are the Twelve Families of the descendants of the First King and Queen’s Inner Circle,” she said, scribbling on the blackboard. “They were the Founders of the Kingdom, along with the King and Queen, which is why to this day, their descendants and families still hold significant positions.”

Jeongin did his best to suppress the urge to sigh.

“Presently, the Twelve Noble Families are also referred to as the Greater Nobles, while the remaining Noble Families are designated as Lesser Nobles,” Mrs. Kwon said. “As you probably know, there are Twelve Outlands beyond the Capital, each dedicated to its sector and under the lordship of each of the Twelve Noble Families. You’re from Duskwood, do you know the sector it's responsible for?”

Jeongin let out a sigh, “No.”

“Very well. Duskwood is responsible for the Agricultural sector. Now, do you know which Noble Family holds lordship over the land?”

Now that Jeongin knew. “The Ahn Family,” he said in clear distaste. The nasty, greedy, selfish and irresponsible Ahn Family. The epitome of everything he loathed about the nobles.

“Correct. It’s the same for the other Outlands. You need to take note of this, it’s important to know which land each family is responsible for, as well as the sectors they oversee,” she emphasized.

She began listing the Twelve Outlands, their sectors, and the Noble Family overseeing it on the blackboard. Reluctantly, Jeongin took note of it all.

“I don’t expect you to memorize everything today, but you could at least memorize one, specifically your own soulmate’s family, The Hwangs. They oversee Solaria, its sector is Trade and Commerce,” Mrs. Kwon said, and then she turned to the blackboard and started talking and scribbling some more about the regions.

Jeongin's attention waned as she continued to talk and write on the board. His mind wandered elsewhere—out the window, to be precise.

There, he spotted Felix, waving enthusiastically with a bright smile on his face. Jeongin felt the corners of his lips tug upward involuntarily.

“Mr. Yang,” Mrs. Kwon called, and Jeongin watched as Felix playfully ducked out of view—barely managing to conceal himself—before he turned his attention to the lecturer. “Pay attention.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Jeongin replied, doing his best to appear attentive.

She squinted at him, but slowly, she turned and continued her explanation.

Jeongin's gaze returned to the window just in time to see Felix peeking comically, like he wanted to make sure Mrs. Kwon wasn't looking. He grinned at the cute display; eyebrows raised. He wondered what Felix was up to.

Felix opened his mouth and started mouthing something as Jeongin watched, trying to decipher what he was saying.

You… got… this… was what he got. He blinked, and then Felix mouthed it one more time, with a thumbs up this time, you got this!

Warmth spread all over him, and for a moment Jeongin was overwhelmed with emotions. Did he come all this way just to tell him that?

Fates, he’s so silly Jeongin loved him with all his heart. If he was insane he would’ve pushed the windows open and pulled him for a kiss right then and there, Mrs. Kwon be damned.

Jeongin beamed at Felix. Thank you, he mouthed.

Felix’s face lit up, and with one last smile, he waved him goodbye, disappearing just in time because Mrs. Kwon had turned back to face Jeongin, face stern. “Now, could you repeat what I said, Mr. Yang?” she asked.

Jeongin could definitely not repeat what she said, because he didn’t hear any of it. He was going to get into trouble, but he didn’t mind.

Nothing could ruin his day now.

 

---

 

Felix was counting his blessings.

It’s only been two days, but it was two days with no dreams and flashbacks—although, the first day could hardly be counted because he barely got any sleep, but he was counting it.

He should’ve known it wouldn’t last, though, because of course he had another nightmare. Was it a nightmare? He wasn’t sure, but it was vivid, and it freaked him out, kinda.

He was deep in the forest, at a clearing. He wasn’t sure what he was doing there, but he felt a presence, the voice was there with him.

Forget… it called from somewhere nearby, but it felt far and muffled—again, like it was speaking through a thick glass.  

“Hello?” Felix called back, voice laced with uncertainty. “Where are you?”

Who are you? he wanted to ask.

Forget…, it repeated, this time with a sense of urgency that sent shivers down Felix's spine.  

Forget what? he wanted to ask.

The wind blew through the trees, and somehow Felix started to feel a little scared now.

Suddenly, a feeling washed over him, as if something were drawing near. Felix barely had time to react before the voice spoke again, this time very close to his ear.

Don’t forget!

And then he woke up with a gasp, his heart pounding in his chest.

Was that just a dream, or was Felix losing his mind? He had been trying not to think about his memories and the fact that they were coming back in hopes that it would help his stupid brain to forget or something, but even he realized that he still subconsciously worried about it. Was that his subconscious or something? That wouldn’t make any sense, because why would he tell himself not to forget?

Suffice to say, he did not want to go back to sleep after that.

Jeongin had started attending classes, he was quieter now. He had become clingier, too, not that Felix was complaining. He loved cuddles.

Felix wasn’t entirely sure if he overstepped when he kissed Jeongin, but it was only his forehead and cheeks, surely that was normal. That felt like something friends would do. Jeongin didn’t seem to mind, if anything, they now exchanged forehead kisses casually, especially in the darkness of their shared room.

It wasn’t just Jeongin, the others were quieter, too.

They felt guilty about the whole situation, Felix could tell. It didn’t help that there was now a bruise on Jeongin’s face, too. Felix felt like they’d all been collectively trying their best not to look at him because they felt too guilty about it.

Felix couldn’t believe Byungjoon did that. He wasn’t the most pleasant person in the Kingdom, but Felix thought that he wasn’t that bad.

He wished he could figure something out, something that could help them. That sounded too big for a nobody like him, so he was now racking his brain for ways to cheer them up or something. Which is what he was trying to do whenever Jeongin was busy with his lessons.

On the first day of Jeongin’s lesson, Felix decided that he was going to start with Seungmin. He felt like Seungmin was the one who felt the guiltiest about this. About everything, really.

He racked his brain for ideas. Seungmin had been nothing but kind since the very beginning. Kind and generous. Even more, he had comforted Felix that pathetic night, even telling him about his mother and his childhood.

That meant a lot to Felix.

His mind went back to his very first, private conversation with Seungmin. Didn’t he say something about how he wasn’t sure he could be a good king or something?

An idea crystallized in Felix's mind. He would go around the palace and gather opinions from the staff about why they believed Seungmin would make a great king.

He had started with Mr. Choi, Yeonjun’s father, and that caught the man off-guard, to say the least.

“Mr. Choi, may I ask you a few questions?”

The older man smiled politely, “Of course, Mr. Lee,” he said. “How can I help you?”  

“Do you think Prince Seungmin would make a great king in the future?”

To Felix’s surprise, Mr. Choi spluttered at that, “What—By fates, of course he will, Sir!” he replied with fervor. “I have never doubted that Prince Seungmin will be a great king for Suncrest.”  

Felix nodded, satisfied. He took the folded parchment from his pocket, and asked, “Okay, could you tell me why?”

Mr. Choi paused for a moment before speaking up. “What…” he started. “If I may ask, what is this for?”

Felix looked up to him and offered him a bright smile. “I think Prince Seungmin would make a great king, too!” he said. “I think a lot of people feel the same way. The Prince seemed pretty down lately, so I thought I’d cheer him up with this,” he explained. “Please don’t tell him, though, it’s gonna be like, a surprise!”

For a moment, Mr. Choi blinked owlishly, before he relaxed. A smile bloomed on his face, “That sounds like a wonderful idea, Sir,” he told Felix. “Well, I have known Prince Seungmin since he was ten, and…”

That was how it went, pretty much.

So far, Felix hadn’t heard anyone say no to his first question, they all seemed to think that Seungmin would make a great King, and wasn’t that great? Felix knew them by name, and he knew quite a few of them rather personally because he liked going around and talking to them, so he knew that they were sincere.

That first night after dinner, he went to see Seungmin in his study, a medium-sized jar in his hands. Donghwa, one of the kitchen staff, had generously given it to him so that he could keep the pieces of parchments inside. He had torn them into smaller pieces and stuffed them inside the jar.

“Hey, Lix,” Seungmin greeted him with a smile, despite how tired he looked. “What can I help you with?”

Closing the door behind him, Felix replied, “Nothing. I didn’t come for anything like that,” he said. He noticed Seungmin's curious gaze on the jar he held.

“You’ve been so kind to me, so I thought I wanna do something in return,” Felix told him sheepishly, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. It was fine, there was no need to feel embarrassed, because these were everyone’s thoughts, it wasn’t just his.

Instead of sitting down, he approached Seungmin’s desk and placed the jar there before opening it. He fished for a piece of parchment, and then he started.

“Reasons why you will be a great king in the future!” he began enthusiastically. “This one is from Mr. Geum, he’s the guard who’s usually stationed near the gardens. He said, I think Prince Seungmin will be a great king because he cares about everyone’s wellbeing. Here in Silvercrest, we have more days off compared to the staff of the other palaces!” he read.

He quickly fished for another one, “This one is from Chaerin noona, she’s responsible for the first floor of the West Wing! She keeps everything squeaky clean. She said, I believe Prince Seungmin will be a great king in the future because he is kind. He forgives people, I’m still allowed to work here even though I broke a very expensive vase a few years ago. I’m very thankful to him.”

“Next up, from Mr. Ji, the gardener responsible for the roses! He said, I think Prince Seungmin will be a great king because he appreciates people. He came and told good ol’ me that I did a good job with the roses, and that they’re pretty! The young prince will be a great one, I’m sure of that,” Felix read. “The roses are very pretty, aren’t they?” he added, because he totally agreed.

“And now, ah—“ Felix paused, because the next one he took from the jar was from him. There were so many inside, how could he pick the one from him? Reading others’ comments was fine, but reading his? Wouldn’t that be kinda embarrassing?

Shaking his head, Felix cleared his throat. “Well, this one is from, uh, me,” he stammered. It was fine, he could do this, he just needed to read it. “I wrote, um, I believe Prince Seungmin will be a great King because he’s very kind, understanding, and generous. Those are very important qualities of a leader, one that I think not many people have, but he has it in abundance. I think being a king sounds like something so huge and daunting, something I could never imagine, but he gives his all and always does his best; I think that’s very brave. I look up to—“

Felix kinda froze, because Seungmin suddenly shot up from his seat and surged forward, and the next thing he knew he was enveloped in a hug.

With the piece of parchment still in his hand, Felix hesitantly returned the hug.

Hugs were a good thing, right?

It meant that Seungmin liked it?

The other wasn’t saying anything, so Felix wasn’t entirely sure.

The hug ended as abruptly as it started, because Seungmin suddenly pulled away, seemingly a little flustered.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he stepped back. His eyes flickered around, like he was trying to figure out where to look at. “I was—thank you, Felix. That’s really,” he finally met Felix’s eyes, and Felix could see how they’ve cleared a bit, compared to before. “really kind of you. Thank you.”

Felix beamed, “It’s my pleasure, Your Highness,” he replied softly, sincerely.

He hoped Seungmin understood how he meant it, that he addressed him that way to make his point—that Seungmin was the prince, and he was going to be the king someday; and to Felix, no one else would be worthier of the title.

After that, he had excused himself hastily, because he totally didn’t plan to read his own sentiment to Seungmin.

He planned to read some for him, and then hand the rest for Seungmin to read anytime. If he was lucky, Seungmin would find his when he wasn’t around so that it wouldn’t be so embarrassing for him, but he completely forgot about his nonexistent luck.

His next victim was Minho.

To his credit, the other was very good at looking unbothered, but Felix knew that he was just as kind as Seungmin was, so the whole thing was probably bothering him, too.

“Say hyung,” he began. He saw him at the library as usual, starting his day with a book. Only, Felix was sure that he wasn’t really reading it because he hadn’t turned the pages in a while.

“Hmm?”

“If I, hypothetically, found a cat, and have been keeping it here secretly, would you make me kick it out if you find out?”

Minho slowly looked up from his book, eyes squinted. “That’s an oddly specific hypothetical situation,” he said.

Felix shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. He felt like he was failing spectacularly under Minho’s watchful eyes. “Humor me.”

“Well,” Minho started slowly. “You can't do that, you know that, right?” he asked rather sternly, and Felix couldn’t help but feel disappointed, but also a little scared. “I’m just kidding. Why? Where did you find the cat? Are you sure it’s a stray? Where is it now? Is it okay?”

“I didn’t find a cat,” Felix huffed.

Minho just raised his eyebrows, seemingly unimpressed.

Sighing, Felix pushed himself up from the chair. “Come with me,” he said.

He led Minho to the staff’s quarters, to Mr. Kang’s room in particular.

He knocked on the door and waited. A few seconds later, a very disheveled, half-awake Mr. Kang opened the door. “Mr. Lee,” he started, rubbing his eyes. “What…” and then his gaze shifted past Felix, seemingly only realizing now that Felix was not alone. “Y-Your Highness!” he stammered.

“Good morning!” Felix greeted him cheerfully. “We’re here to see Geomjeongie.” Mr. Kang’s eyes widened in surprise, and he looked at Felix like he had betrayed him or something, so Felix hurriedly added, “It’s okay! Hyung said you can keep it, right?” he turned to Minho for support.

“Right,” Minho said rather dryly, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes.

Reluctantly, Mr. Kang allowed them inside and began apologizing profusely to Minho, who waved off the apologies calmly. He assured Mr. Kang that he wouldn't report anything and that they were just there because Minho wanted to meet the cat.

A soft meow halted the conversation, and Geomjeong creeped out from under the bed.

Minho couldn't help but coo at the sight of the black cat. He approached it slowly, mindful not to startle the feline.

By the end of their visit, Minho had a relaxed smile on his face. He had promised Mr. Kang that he would share some of his cats’ food and treats, and that he would be coming to see Geomjeong again some other time. 

Minho had even agreed to keep it a secret, because after the lockdown, a lot of the staff had returned to work—some of them were outside when Seungmin declared the lockdown—and that included the Royal Steward, Ms. Heo. She was the one responsible for, well, pretty much the palace, and she was quite the stickler for the rules. Mr. Kang was especially terrified of her, which was why he was so nervous when he realized Minho was there with Felix.

Next was Changbin.

Unlike Minho, Changbin's frustrations were easy to spot. Felix found him pacing in front of the library after lunch, seemingly anxious.

"Are you okay, hyung?" he asked.

Changbin was visibly startled, but he relaxed once he realized it was just Felix.

"What are you doing out here?" Felix asked. He wondered why Changbin didn't just go inside. "Is Seungmin inside? Do you want to talk to him?"

Changbin let out an exasperated sigh, “I want to talk, but he doesn't," he grumbled.

"Okay," Felix said slowly. "Maybe give him time?" he suggested tentatively.

"Time isn't gonna solve anything!" Changbin snapped back, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to hear.

Felix grimaced, "That's true," he agreed. "But just because he doesn't want to talk now, doesn't mean he won't later, right? I'm sure he'd love to talk once he's gathered his thoughts."

Changbin shot him a half-hearted glare, "You're making sense," he said. "I hate that you're making sense," he grumbled.

Felix barked out a laugh at that. "Come on," he said. "Why don't we check on Dongja? Today might be the day he lets you pet him.”

Felix could tell that Changbin wasn’t convinced, but he nodded, and they made their way to the stables.

They spent the next thirty minutes or so trying to coax Dongja into letting Changbin pet him to no success. They've been trying this for a weeks now, they've tried different strategies to no avail. They did make progress, though, because nowadays Dongja didn't get agitated whenever Changbin approached him, or when he stood close to him.

It seemed like being in close proximity and accepting a pat were two very different things for the horse.

Felix knew Changbin was losing his patience by the second. He should've suggested something else, not this.

"This isn't working," Changbin frowned, looking like he wanted to flare his nostrils back at Dongja or something. The thought was so funny Felix almost laughed out loud.

Feeling a bit daring, Felix took Changbin's hand and placed it on top of Dongja's nose, with his hand on top of Changbin’s.

Changbin froze, and for a moment, Dongja did too. Felix thought he looked like he was trying to decide whether to let them or to throw a tantrum because on one side, it was Changbin but it was also Felix.

Fortunately for them, the horse decided that he wasn't in the mood for tantrums, and Felix heard Changbin let out a breath of relief.

Changbin began to stroke Dongja's fur hesitantly.

"Fates," Changbin muttered. "This is it?" he asked, sounding offended. "All this time, this was what we needed to do? You made me neigh like a horse!" he said, turning to Felix, tone accusatory. "You made me stuff my clothes with hay! You made me approach him on all fours!"

Felix let out a surprised laugh at that, the sound erupting from him uncontrollably. He pulled his hand away to clutch his stomach as he laughed because once he started, he couldn't stop. "Hyung!" he protested between bouts of laughter. "Those were your ideas!”

"You said they might work!" Changbin retorted before he let out a surprised yelp because even though they both hadn’t realized it, Dongja did realize that Felix didn't have his hand on him anymore, that it was just Changbin now.

He flared his nostrils at Changbin before he darted away.

"Hey!" it was late because Dongja was gone, but Changbin pulled his hand away protectively. “Why did you let go? Look at what you've done, he ran away, hey!"

Felix was honestly long gone by then, because all he could think of was that time Changbin started neighing like a horse to make Dongja trust him.

Changbin spent the rest of the afternoon grumbling at Felix, and Dongja wouldn't let him approach no matter how much he tried, but Felix thought that Changbin didn't look as tense as before, so he counted that one as a win, as well.


Felix’s attempt to cheer Hyunjin up left him feeling stupid, but he supposed he would count it as half a win because he could kinda confidently say that Hyunjin didn’t hate him now. Maybe.

Out of everyone else, Hyunjin was the hardest for Felix, because the other wasn’t exactly subtle with his dislike towards him, at least at the beginning.

His first idea was to bring Kongie with him, because Hyunjin seemed to really like the owl; he also really wanted to pet him.

Unfortunately, Felix didn’t really want to force Kong, even if that would cheer Hyunjin up. Animals were of the nature, they weren’t things to be controlled. If Kong was going to let Hyunjin pet him, that was going to be in its time, so Felix quickly scratched that idea off his list.

He realized he didn’t know much, if at all, about Hyunjin, so he asked Chaeeun about what he liked when he ran into her in the hallways.

The answer to his question was surprisingly, flowers.

Now, Felix would have been delighted to hear that if they were in Duskwood or something. He could sneak into the forest and look for the prettiest flowers to give him, but they were in the capital. Felix would feel stupid if he picked flowers from the palace’s gardens just to give to Hyunjin. The flowers were technically Hyunjin’s, to begin with.

His options were pretty limited to the palace, and Felix doubted that a cheap flower from the market would make Hyunjin happy when he had a garden full of the prettiest flowers, so in his desperate attempt, Felix drew a flower.

Not just any flower, the Wishblossoms.

Just like Heart’s Inkberry, it was one of the plants that could only be found in the mountains, and since no one ever ventured deep enough into the woods—the mountains were located even further than his home, people would have to go through more of the forest to get to the mountains—he thought that it was probably something Hyunjin had never heard about, or at least seen.

He would’ve loved to go and get the flowers himself, but he promised Jeongin he would stay so Felix didn’t exactly have any plans to go back to the forest for now.

For now.

Since Hyunjin liked flowers, maybe he’d be interested in it or something, that was why Felix had drawn it for him.

In retrospect, it wasn’t that much of a present at all, since his drawing was pathetic. Maybe it would cheer Hyunjin up anyway, he could laugh and make fun of it to pass the time or something.

He was trying to slip his pathetic drawing through the underside of the door to Hyunjin’s room, just because it would be less awkward and embarrassing since he thought this was stupider by the second, but Hyunjin opened the door before Felix could slip the parchment entirely and they just stared at each other like that, Hyunjin with surprise on his face and Felix crouching like a bloody idiot.

Hyunjin blinked in surprise and questioned, "What are you doing?"

Felix hastily straightened himself, hiding the parchment behind his back. “Hi,” he said brilliantly. “I was…”

“What’s that?” Hyunjin asked, stepping forward like he was trying to get a better look. “The thing you’re hiding.”

“This?” Felix asked with a semi-hysterical laugh. This was definitely a bad idea. “It’s nothing, I was…”

Hyunjin stared at him flatly, extending his hand upside-down like he was asking Felix to hand it over. Demanding Felix to hand it over, more like.

Reluctantly, Felix did, because what could he do?

Hyunjin’s expression turned into that of confusion after he looked over the parchment. “What’s this?” he asked.

“Wishblossoms,” Felix replied, feeling like an idiot under Hyunjin’s scrutinizing eyes. “I… I heard you liked flowers! So I thought, you know, you might be interested in this. It only grows in the mountains, and since no one ever goes the mountains, I thought you probably never heard of it, or maybe you’ve heard about it, but you’ve never seen it,” he jumped into an explanation.

Hyunjin paused before responding, “You’ve seen it?”

“Of course,” Felix answered. “There’s a whole field of it, in the mountains. It’s really pretty. I suck at drawing, so I definitely didn’t do them any justice, but I promise they’re really pretty in real life.”

Hyunjin looked down at the drawing, looking thoughtful. “Wishblossoms…” he repeated. “I’ve never heard of them before.”

“They’re also known as the flower of the fairies, because legends said that they used to be fairies! Before, um, before they turned into Wishblossoms. That’s why they said if you found one, you can make a wish and blow them. The wind will take them to the fates and they will grant our wishes,” he explained. “At least, that’s what I was taught,” he added a little sheepishly.

That was what his mom had told him. He remembered now.

When Hyunjin looked back up to Felix, there was interest in his eyes. “Do you want to come in?” Hyunjin asked, which was a surprise. “You can tell me more about it, describe it, and maybe I can sketch it, too.”

“Sure,” Felix said, momentarily feeling intimidated. He was trying to cheer Hyunjin up, or maybe provide a little distraction, but he didn’t expect to be invited into his room or something.

Felix spent the next hour or so describing Wishblossoms, and talking about all the other flowers he found in the mountains. Hyunjin seemed genuinely intrigued, there was a hint of wistfulness in his eyes, like he wished he could see them for himself.

“A whole field of Wishblossoms,” Hyunjin sighed, sounding almost dreamy. “Wouldn’t that be like heaven?”

“You're not wrong,” Felix smiled. The field of Wishblossoms was beautiful. He went and camped there, several times each year. It was one of his favorite places. “I can draw you a map if you want, and then maybe, you can go there with the others one day?” Felix offered.

“A map?” Hyunjin repeated incredulously. “Why? You can just come with us and show us the way.”

“Oh,” Felix said, he guessed that made sense.

He would take them there, but he wasn’t sure how soon would that be—probably not very soon, not with the rotting and everything; even before the rotting no one comes to the forest.

He wasn’t entirely sure if he’d still be here when people finally realized that the forest was perfectly safe as long as you knew your way through it. 

Hyunjin didn’t end up sketching the flowers, not in front of Felix, but he did take note of his descriptions, muttering that he would sketch it later. Apparently other than flowers, he also liked sketching, drawing, painting, and the like.

When Felix finally excused himself, Hyunjin thanked him, which Felix deflected and returned immediately because he wasn’t sure he did anything worth thanking for. He wasn’t even sure if he cheered him up, he just came with his silly idea of a present, which was not much of a present at all, and then he just rambled about flowers.

Being thanked must mean that he didn’t do awful, though, so he counted that one as half a win.

Felix had plans for Jisung.

At first, he thought of practicing a new piece and surprising him with it, Jisung would be delighted, but he would be delighted for Felix and that made it feel like he wasn't really doing anything for him.

Jisung liked board games, so Felix thought that he could go around the city and look for like, the newest board game or something—the one they didn't have in the palace, but then he'd have to be out in the city for that, so it wasn't ideal.

Felix had promised himself he was going to stay in, at least for a few days so that if another disaster happened, he would be there. He wished he had been here when Byungjoon and Byungho came.

Unfortunately for him, he hardly saw Jisung the past two days.

Sure, he’d see him during mealtimes, but Jisung would disappear immediately after they were done, so Felix didn’t really count that.

Felix was looking for Jisung, but he was surprised when he finally found him in that secret room, the one that could be accessed through the passageways behind the fireplace on the second floor. He felt so stupid, he should've looked there first.

Jisung said nothing when Felix came in, he just sat there staring out the window, he didn't even acknowledge him. Silently, Felix sat next to him. Not too close, though, just in case he wanted some space.

Eventually, Jisung broke the silence, his voice quivering with emotion as he asked, “It's because of me, isn't it?" He was still looking out the window, so all Felix saw was the back of his head. When Jisung finally turned to face him, he was on the verge of tears. "It's my fault, isn't it?"

Panic surged within Felix. Sure, he'd seen Jeongin cry multiple times before, but this wasn't Jeongin. This was Jisung.

"No," Felix disagreed quickly. "Of course it's not, Sungie.”

Jisung turned away, staring straight at the empty wall across from him. "But it is," he insisted. "Everything happened because I found him. If I didn't find him, he wouldn't be in this mess," he said. "I caused this. All I've brought him is pain. I should've listened to the others, the Fates will let us meet when we're ready, but I didn't. I always snuck around and went to the city in hopes that I'd stumble into him," he continued. "I did, but what good did it do?" he laughed bitterly, which was painful to Felix’s ears.

“Jisung—"

"I ruined everything," Jisung said, and the tears were starting to spill.

Felix couldn’t just sit there and let that happen, so he gently cupped Jisung's face and made him meet his gaze.

"It's not your fault," Felix declared firmly. "It's no one's fault. You guys are soulmates, you're fated to meet each other," he added. "There are so many things going on right now, and not all of them are good, but I think we’re fortunate to meet you."

"Innie's soulmate could’ve been anyone, it could've been someone cruel and rude and unkind. But instead, it's you. It's Chan and Minho and Changbin hyung. It's Hyunjin and Seungmin," Felix told him. "You guys are some of the kindest people I've ever met. I'm so glad that you're his soulmate, okay?"

Felix's goal was to stop Jisung from crying, but he must've done something wrong, because instead, the other started crying even more. Without hesitation, Felix pulled him into a comforting hug.

He really wished this would stop happening, him finding his friends in their lowest moments. It’s not that he minded, he wanted to be there for everyone and comfort them whenever they needed to be comforted, but he couldn't help but think that he was so not made for this.

He himself tended to cry rather easily, so when he sees someone else cry, his own eyes just immediately get watery as a general rule.

He had been trying so hard not to cry whenever he saw his friends struggling, and he'd like to think that he'd been mostly successful.

He didn't intend to stop now, so he held Jisung steady as he did his best to blink his own tears away. 



"Do you mean it?" Jisung whispered after a while. “You’re glad that it’s us?”



"Of course!" Felix insisted with passion, pulling away to look directly at Jisung. "Not everyone could be patient enough to teach me the piano.”

To his relief, Jisung laughed at that. Hearing Jisung laugh had made Felix feel at least ten times better, so he was definitely counting this one as a win.


And then there was Chan.

Felix watched as Yeonjun knocked Chan's practice sword out of his hands for the... how many times had it been? He had no idea.

Sighing, Chan went to grab it.

"I don't think you're getting any practice done, Your Highness," Felix spoke up.

Yeonjun snapped his head towards him so fast, eyes wide, seemingly horrified by his words, but Chan just huffed in response.

"One more time," he told Yeonjun, determined.

Felix didn't even need to watch, even if he left the palace at this second and never returned, he'd still know what would happen.

To prove his point, it happened again. Yeonjun had knocked Chan's practice sword out of his hands again.

Chan had been like this the past few days, Felix knew because the guards talked.

Sure, Chan liked sparring with them so it wasn’t something entirely new, but the past two days, he had been doing that every single second of his free time—before breakfast, after breakfast, after lunch all the way to dinnertime. They're all taking turns as his sparring partners.

Working hard was a good quality in Felix's opinion, but not when you're overworking or when you're clearly so distracted that you're not actually getting anything done.

Suddenly, he had an idea. "Hyung," he said, looking straight at Chan. The other immediately paused, returning his gaze. "I need your help."

Chan lowered his sword, concern suddenly creeping up his face even though Felix had been there with them for the past two hours so obviously, nothing happened to him in particular. It only served as another proof of Chan's distraction, he might be here but his head is somewhere else.

Felix had to stop himself from smiling in triumph when the other walked over to him, the spar forgotten for a moment. He schooled his expression into a serious one.

"What's wrong?" Chan asked, concerned.

"Come," Felix replied, gesturing for Chan to follow him. "I'll show you."

Chan realized that there wasn't anything wrong in particular a little too late. Felix supposed he was lucky the other was so distracted, it made it easy for him to pull this off.

"We're in the kitchen," Chan voiced his observation out loud.

"Yep," Felix replied, amused. He pulled a chair and gestured for Chan to sit. The other was so confused he just followed Felix’s direction.

They were in the kitchen, which was fortunately, deserted. That didn't happen often, because Felix would usually always find someone there, there were always cooks experimenting with new ideas and menus.

Today, though, there was hardly anyone there, so Felix found himself relaxing. He enjoyed the kitchen's staff’s company, but baking or cooking with them around always felt like he was in the middle of an exam or something.

"I'm baking a cake for my friend's sister," Felix explained. "It's her birthday this week, so I thought I could bake something as a present.”

Chan blinked, "Okay," he replied slowly, before his expression twisted in confusion. “Wait, I thought you said you needed help?“

"I want to make something purple and cute," Felix hummed, thinking his idea over. "Maybe I could draw a unicorn on top of it… Anyways, I need your help, hyung! You're gonna provide me with your honest opinion," he told Chan brightly. "Does it look good, does it look bad, does it taste good, does it taste bad? Or maybe we should limit your input to the visual part of it, noona would murder me if she heard that I made you my taste tester..."

"I can help with that, too," Chan protested, seemingly miffed at Felix’s words. "Even better, I can help you with the baking. I used to help my mother—“

"Nope," Felix interjected. "You should sit back and relax. Besides, this is my present for her, if you help me, it's not gonna be entirely my present for her."

"I hardly think that—“

"Okay! Let's get started," Felix clasped his hands together before he went to the sink to wash them off.

They ended up spending the next few hours there, Chan had excused himself to take off his protective gear and put away his sword halfway through, and when he got back he didn't let Felix order him to sit—he hovered and pestered Felix until he gave him something to do.

"So, you used to help your mother in the kitchen?" Felix asked, making conversation.

"Sometimes," Chan replied, a relaxed smile on his face. "I spend a lot of my time outside with Binnie and our other friends. The rest of my time I spent practicing."

"Practicing?"

"I wanted to become a knight," Chan admitted sheepishly. "Just like my father. He'd train me on his days off."

"That sounds fun," Felix remarked.

Chan turned to him, a grin on his face, "He's a strict teacher," he told Felix. "But that's because he was really good at what he does, and he wanted me to do just as well. He told me to always strive for nothing but the best. I think that's why he's where he's at now, the Captain of the Knights," he shook his head, but Felix could see it, the pride he had for his father.

Felix smiled at the sight. He was glad that Chan seemed to have grown up with great parents. "He sounds awesome," Felix said. "He sounds like the cool knights in the books."

Chan's smile was warm when he looked at him, "I'll introduce you to him, one of these days," he said. "I think you'll like him."

"I know I'll like him," Felix replied rather confidently. He liked people in general and Chan's dad sounded awesome. "The question is whether or not he'd like me. I feel like he likes people who look strong, like Changbin hyung."

Chan chuckled, "If I tell you he used to be scrawny back then, would you believe me?" he asked playfully. "But you're not wrong, my Father likes Changbin, but not because he looks strong. It's because Bin's a great guy."

"He's a great guy," Felix agreed. "You all are," he added sincerely.

Felix hoped that he would get it, he would get that Felix meant they were all great guys, they were good people. That what was happening to Jeongin wasn't their fault, so they could all stop looking so guilty.

"Thanks, Lix," Chan said. He was smiling, but his smile was a little muted, so Felix knew he was remembering his guilt again.

Felix stood up abruptly, straightening himself. "Let's think about the decoration," he said. "Are you any good at drawing, hyung?"

Felix would like to think that he succeeded rather marvelously in cheering Chan up.

They both tried drawing a purple unicorn on the plates using the piping bags, and they couldn't stop laughing because they were very bad at it.

The thing didn't look like a unicorn, it didn't even look like a horse. Everything they drew was crooked, and they had been trying for the past twenty minutes to draw increasingly better versions of it, but they were failing miserably.

If they were unable to draw properly without laughing, they sure as hell couldn’t draw better when their bodies shook with waves of laughter.

Gasping for breath, Felix wiped the tears from his eyes. "If I draw this on top of her cake, she will cry."

Chan burst into another bouts of laughter. "Mine's even worse."

"What are you talking about, hyung? They're equally bad. It doesn't matter if the cake was delicious, the unicorn will ruin it, if we can even call it that.”

"It's the thought that counts?"

"She's a child. I think the visual matters a lot," Felix replied helplessly, sounding a little bummed. Sure, he had dragged Chan here because he wanted to distract the other from whatever negative thoughts had been plaguing his mind, but his plan to bake Minkyung a cake was genuine, too. He had been thinking about what he could give since Hyunwoo told him about her birthday, and he thought this was the best he could give since it would be personalized and special.

He should've thought this through, he wasn't an artist, and he had never been particularly good at drawing, what made him think he could draw a whole unicorn? A beautiful, properly structured unicorn.

By the end of it, Felix had managed to draw a semi-decent unicorn.

It was not as bad, since they had decided to ditch the body and stick with the head part only. It didn't look that great, but at least it looked like a unicorn, in Felix's and Chan's opinion.

Not that their opinions had that much merit, considering their poor drawing skills, but Felix would take it.

They were done just in time, because the kitchen staff were now filtering into the kitchen, probably wanting to start preparing for dinner. They bowed their heads and greeted them respectfully, which had Felix confused at first since they had ditched the attitude his first few days here and were perfectly comfortable treating him like a normal person, but then he remembered that he was there with Chan and not by himself.

Someone told him before, the royal family didn't really go to the kitchens.

After placing the cake in the freezer, Chan and Felix made their way outside. "I'm gonna go clean myself," Chan said, smiling. "Thanks, Lix."

"Thank you for helping me, Your Highness," Felix replied, returning the gesture.

"I thought we're past this whole your highness thing already?"

Felix's smile turned a little mischievous at that, "What gave you that idea?" he asked teasingly. "See you later, Your Highness!" He scurried away, not letting Chan voice his arguments.

As if worrying about Jeongin and his soulmates wasn’t enough, Felix had other things on his mind.

Most notably, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened on his last visit to the city, the things Siwoo and that pair of strangers said about the royal family.

He had talked to Yeonjun to start his own investigation.

"Hyung, can I ask you something?" he asked. The other nodded, so Felix continued. ”Does everyone... barely go out? Like to meet the people?"

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows at the question. "They do go out from time to time, for their royal duties."

Felix perked up at that, "So they do meet people? The civilians?"

Yeonjun's expression became slightly troubled, ”Well," he began. "When they go out for royal duties,  it's primarily to oversee infrastructural projects and ensure everything is progressing as planned. Meeting people isn't really their main focus.  They tend to keep a low profile when they're out and about."

Felix’s face fell at that, "So they don't really interact with the people?" he asked, disappointed.

"Not really, no," Yeonjun responded, thoughtful. "They're the heirs of the crown, their safety is our top priority. Being surrounded by crowds of people would pose a security risk.”

Felix sighed, he supposed that made sense. "But how are the people supposed to get to know them that way?" he asked. "How are they supposed to know that they're great leaders, and that they genuinely care about the Kingdom?"

Yeonjun furrowed his brows, "They work hard on the infrastructural projects," he said. "They build public amenities that help everyone," he added, sounding a little hesitant.

"I think that's great, hyung," Felix sighed. But that wasn't enough, he didn't say. Granted, his whole worry was solely based on the words of the pair of strangers and Siwoo, so maybe there were people who thought differently about them, but still.

"What brought this up?" Yeonjun asked.

"Nothing," Felix said. "Just heard someone say something about them when I was in the city. It wasn't anything good."

Yeonjun’s expression soured at the revelation, "Right, I'm sure that's nothing to worry about," he assured him. "When I talk to people, they only have good things to say about them."

"Really?" Felix brightened at that, and Yeonjun nodded in response.

Maybe Yeonjun was right, there was nothing to worry about. Yeonjun clearly knew a lot more people compared to Felix, and if he said that they only had good things to say about Seungmin and the others, then it should be true.

Felix decided against asking Yeonjun about the city guards, if only because his father was a guard—the Royal Guard, but still a guard. Felix thought it'd be better to ask someone with more... potential to be objective.

He wasn't entirely sure how to ask though, what was he supposed to say? Hi, I heard the city guards like to beat up people, that can't be true, right? The question sounded ridiculous, even in his head.

It was then he remembered that Siwoo said they don't mess with those who work in the palaces, so now he had no idea who to ask. Asking Seungmin or one of the others would be pointless because Felix was sure that even if it was true, they definitely had no idea about it.

Felix decided that he should probably look for other people to ask. Maybe he could ask Hyunwoo? Now that he thought of it, he hadn’t been to the public library for a while. He hoped Hyunwoo didn’t think he died or something.

Another thing on his mind was Wooyoung and San.

Wooyoung had become increasingly frantic in his recent letters to Felix. Felix knew that Jeongin had still yet to tell anyone about what was actually happening and who his soulmates were—he hadn’t told his parents and the hyungs. According to Wooyoung, Jeongin barely told them anything no matter what they asked, to the point where Wooyoung had started questioning if the letters came from Jeongin, or if it was someone else pretending to be him. He expressed the same concerns in his letter to Felix.

He should’ve read the letters when he was alone and not in the Dining Room, while they were eating dinner yesterday. He should’ve known something wasn’t right when he pulled the parchment out of the envelope and saw how wrinkled it was, but Felix had always made the stupidest decisions, so what’s new?

 

Lix,

You both kept saying it’s fine, things are fine, that you’re staying there for a bit longer, but you haven’t told us why and until when, exactly.

Seriously, what’s going on there? Please be straight with me.  

I think this has gone too far, so I need to ask: IS THIS REALLY YOU, FELIX? OR IS THIS ONE OF THOSE NOBLE BASTARDS PRETENDING TO BE YOU?

CAN YOU PROVE THAT YOU’RE REALLY FELIX?

IF YOU’RE NOT FELIX, LISTEN HERE, YOU BASTARD, YOU TOUCH MY FRIENDS, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME!! I WILL BE COMING THERE AND IF THERE IS A STRAND OF HAIR OUT OF PLACE YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND???

WE’RE NOT AFRAID OF YOU, AND WE WON’T STAND FOR ANYTHING YOU’RE DOING TO JEONGIN AND FELIX!!!

I SWEAR TO THE FATES I WILL COME THERE AND TEAR YOU APART, ALL OF YOU!!! IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!

I WILL

Felix, this is San, Youngie had gone insane, and I mean this literally. I had to wrestle him to get this. Currently, I've locked him out of his room. He's pounding on the door as I write.

You guys have been there for a while, and we both know you didn’t plan to stay for that long. At this rate, I’m starting to doubt whether Innie would still be sane. You’re staying with his soulmates, yeah? That can’t be easy for him. You know how he gets with nobles.

My point is, you gotta give us something, Lixie. You’ve both said the same things, that you’re fine, that everything’s alright, but you’re not really giving us anything. If everything’s alright, why aren’t you back? Are you sure you’re alright? Are they keeping you there? Please just give us something, we’re worried out of our minds here. 

One of these days, Wooyoung’s gonna declare that we’re going to the capital to get you and I’m not sure if he’s wrong. You know we’re here for the both of you, right? There’s nothing we won’t do to help you, to help Innie. A few nobles don’t scare us. We can figure something out, together. Alright?

Fates, I might be losing my mind as well, but in case Wooyoung’s paranoid thoughts are right and this is not Felix, you better watch your back.

We’re coming for you, and we’ll find you.

Write back as soon as possible, please.

San

 

“What does it say?” Jeongin asked curiously. He was still eating, his own letters were still sealed tight inside the envelopes on his lap. Felix was still trying to wrap his mind around the letter, his friends sounded truly distressed, they must be really worried about Jeongin. How could he reassure them? “Hyung?” Jeongin’s voice snapped him out of his stupor, and Felix looked up to see that everyone was looking at him now.

Face a little pale, Felix turned to Jeongin. “It’s the hyungs,” he told him.

“What’s wrong with the hyungs?” Jeongin frowned, concerned. He looked like he wanted to take the letter and read it himself.

Felix wasn’t sure how he could explain what was wrong with them with words, so he simply handed the letter to him.

Felix watched as Jeongin’s curiosity morphed into concern, and then there was a look of apprehension on his face. His voice was a little strained when he handed the letter back to Felix, “Soon,” he said. “I’ll tell them soon.”

Felix just gave him an apologetic smile.

Felix really wanted to reply as soon as possible, but now that Wooyoung had gone a little insane, he was kinda dreading what the letter from Mrs. Jung would be like, so he was procrastinating because he didn’t want to read it just yet.

It was almost time for dinner now, and Felix was just lounging in his bedroom with Jeongin. It was still too early to sleep, but somehow, he had started feeling a little sleepy.

The King will be here tomorrow. Felix wasn’t sure how to feel about that. On one hand, he was Seungmin’s father, so Felix was sure he was kind. On the other hand, he was the King.

And then there was the check up with the Court Healer. Felix didn’t want to do it, but he had no idea how to avoid it. He just hoped the healer couldn’t detect magic and broken soulbonds.

Felix sighed. Sometimes he wished he was a tree or something, his life would be so much easier.

Suddenly, Jeongin broke the silence, sounding like he’s finally had enough.

“Come on, hyung,” Jeongin said. “Let’s go.”

Felix blinked slowly, his drowsiness dissipating as he processed Jeongin's words. He pushed himself up into a sitting position. “What?”

Jeongin paused and turned to him. There was a faint smile on his face, “Well, there’s no more need to hide, right? I’m free to go.”

“Now?” Felix asked, and Jeongin nodded in reply. “Go… where?” he asked slowly.

“My uncle’s,” Jeongin replied, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes, something Felix hadn’t seen in a while. “We’re going to my uncle’s.”

Notes:

i'd just like to say that i didn't mean for the chapter to be this long, sorry

also, this fic now has a discord server! feel free to join, i post excerpts/snippets of upcoming chapters sometimes.

as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (earlier if i finish early but hopefully not later than that). i hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Chapter 23: Not the Brotherhood of the Bold

Meeting his uncle had felt like a breath of fresh air, just what Jeongin needed after enduring several incredibly stressful days.

Fortunately for him, the others didn't put up much of a fight when he declared that he and Felix were heading to his uncle’s for dinner. They even let them go with only two guards posing as their coachman and footman, and Jeongin managed to persuade those two to begrudgingly let them get off two blocks away.

He had not told his parents about what was transpiring, so he couldn't risk his uncle knowing before that.

The moment the door swung open, revealing his uncle and his warm eyes, Jeongin felt safe. This was familiar. He could finally have something that wasn't changing.

At least, not yet.

He introduced Felix to his uncle Bogyeong, and they were ushered inside, his uncle chattering about what a great coincidence it was, that they came today, because he cooked extra for today's dinner.

Jeongin and Felix helped him set the table. It was after they settled into their seats that his uncle called his cousin.

"Beomgyu-yah!" Uncle Bo called cheerfully. "Come greet your cousin! Also, dinner’s ready!"

For a brief moment, they heard nothing, but then the sound of a door opening and approaching footsteps echoed from the second floor. Jeongin watched as Felix's curious gaze wandered towards the stairs.

A few seconds later, his cousin appeared.

With a permanent scowl on his face, he made his way to the dining table, taking the seat beside his father and across Felix.

Uncle Bo widened his eyes and pointedly cleared his throat, prompting Beomgyu to let out a resigned sigh, "Hello, Cousin."

"And this is his friend, Felix," Uncle Bo introduced.

Beomgyu's eyes shifted to Felix. He said nothing, but he offered a small nod of acknowledgment.

"Hi," Felix greeted cheerfully, seemingly unfazed by Beomgyu’s demeanor.

Beomgyu didn't say anything in response so Jeongin was about to say a thing or two about manners, but his uncle intervened, clearing his throat and declaring, "Let's start eating!"

Dinner was fun.

Jeongin told his uncle about the cover story he and Felix agreed on, that he came to the capital to accompany Felix who was searching for his uncle. Felix remained quiet throughout all that, letting Jeongin take the lead, only nodding and smiling whenever it was appropriate.

Jeongin ignored Beomgyu's existence for the most part, like he always did whenever he visited them.

They used to get along well, when they were younger. Beomgyu used to visit Duskwood often, and whenever Jeongin came to the capital, he would spend his whole with his cousin.

It all changed when Beomgyu's mom died seven years ago.

At first, his cousin just became quieter, more reserved. But then he became... someone Jeongin barely recognized. Beomgyu started ignoring him whenever he visited, and Uncle Bo had told him about the things he did—how he started hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing all kinds of things his uncle had specifically told him not to do.

His aunt's death was really hard for both Beomgyu and Uncle Bo.

His uncle was a great man, he had raised Beomgyu on his own for the most part, so Jeongin felt very bad for him

He had tried talking to Beomgyu, but it always ended in arguments. His cousin wouldn't listen to anything he said, and he was angry all the time.

At some point, Jeongin stopped trying.

He wasn't getting to him; he had no idea how he could get through to him.

He shifted his focus on his uncle, always offering to help with chores and anything he could help with whenever he visited the capital.

Despite Beomgyu's presence, dinner was fun and refreshing. He was glad he decided to do this, it was just what he needed before the King’s visit tomorrow.

He wasn't scared, nor was he nervous, but he was dreading it.

Every single day felt like his fate was sealed, like he was getting closer and closer to the day when he would stop being Yang Jeongin and start being the Soulbond Heir of Prince Seungmin.

The next morning, he found himself being examined by the Court Healer, Ms. Yoo.

"Thanks for coming, noona," Chan greeted her. Beside her was another woman, and Chan later introduced her as the Court Mage.

Jeongin's check-up had been quick, he had always been healthy, growing up, so he wasn't worried about it.

Ms. Yoo told the others just that, and Jeongin didn't miss the sighs of relief across the room.

The Healer promptly turned her attention to Felix, telling him that it was his turn now, and Jeongin thought for a second that his hyung seemed rather pale today. Was he not feeling well?

He didn't get to ask anything, nor did he get to ponder about it, because Ms. Yoo soon tugged Felix outside, probably to the room next door where she conducted Jeongin's check-up. The Court Mage followed behind them.

"Your results are good," Chan broke the silence, drawing Jeongin's attention to him. "I'm—we're glad."

Jeongin furrowed his brows, puzzled. What was that supposed to mean? Did they expect his results to be bad or something?

"I was always healthy, growing up," he grumbled, sounding a little defensive even though he tried not to be. His parents took great care of him, and he always had food on the table and a roof over his head. He could bet he was stronger, or at least more fit compared to most of them. He wouldn't mind arm wrestling them right then and there, just to prove his point.

"Of course," Chan said quickly, smile fading a little. "That's not what we meant. We were just a little concerned."

Jeongin frowned, "Why?" He was perfectly healthy and fine. He thought Chan looked a little disappointed for a second, but before he could reply, someone else spoke up.

"You know why," Minho said rather bluntly, although his tone was neutral.

Jeongin turned to him, feeling a little irritated but also genuinely confused. "I really don't," he responded.

"Jeongin," Chan began, so Jeongin turned his attention to him. "You don't have to tell us about it, not if you don't want to, but we're really glad that you're alright,” he said sincerely.

Jeongin was alright, but he was also confused.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked incredulously, his patience waning. He couldn't understand what they were on about.

Now it's Chan's turn to look confused.

Actually, now that Jeongin thought about it, they all looked kinda confused.

"Thirteen years ago," Minho told him like he expected that to help Jeongin understand.

"Thirteen years ago?" Jeongin echoed.

Minho frowned, "Did you forget?"

"Could you all please stop speaking in riddles and just tell me," Jeongin snapped, losing his patience.

"Something happened to you thirteen years ago," Seungmin spoke up cautiously, face wary. "We all felt it," he added like he was trying to remind Jeongin that they were soulmates and soulmates could feel each other's pain.

Jeongin was about to say something back because nothing happened to him thirteen years ago, but then he suddenly remembered.

Something did happen, years ago.

He wasn't counting, so he wasn't sure how many years ago it was exactly, but now that he remembered, he had a feeling that he knew exactly what they were referring to.

That day, the day he felt unimaginable pain.

Pain so bad he screamed and passed out, and when he woke up all he could see was his parents’ faces—his mom's was full of tears and his dad's was white as a sheet. There was a third person there, the village's Sorcerer, the one before Hayeon.

"Jeongin?" Seungmin's voice snapped him back to the present, and Jeongin saw their concerned faces looking back at him.

Jeongin swallowed.

They thought it was him.

Which meant that it wasn’t them.

“Jeongin?”

"That wasn't me," Jeongin said, voice barely above a whisper.

For a second, Seungmin's expression turned blank before his eyes widened in realization; a look of horror washing over his face.

"It wasn't you?" Hyunjin asked incredulously. "But it wasn't any of us! What does that—oh."

Yeah, oh probably summed it up.

It wasn't Jeongin, and from the looks of their faces, it wasn't any of them, too.

That could only mean one thing.

They had another soulmate.

 

---

 

Felix was going to die.

That was it, this was where it ended. He was going to die here.

"Try to relax, Mr. Lee," Ms. Yoo told him.

Felix would gladly relax, if only the Court Mage would stop looking at him like that. Could he even call that looking? She was glaring at him, like a hawk zeroing in on its prey.

Whenever Felix stole a glance at her, he would be met with her piercing eyes.

Felix felt like he was being thoroughly judged or something, which made him nervous beyond measure because he was already nervous about the check-up. He had spent his whole morning praying that the Court Healer wouldn’t detect anything. Eventually, Felix decided that he was just going to close his eyes the whole time and chant if he couldn’t see her, she couldn’t see him.

He knew that wasn’t how it worked, but still.

"We're done," Ms. Yoo finally declared. Felix breathed a sigh of relief as pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Everything looks good," Ms. Yoo hummed, a note of satisfaction in her voice. "Your muscles are tense, but otherwise, everything appears fine. Would you like me to prescribe a muscle-relaxant potion? It also seems like you’re sleep-deprived. Have you been getting enough sleep?"

Felix thought the question was rather rhetorical given her earlier statement, but he nodded anyway.

Ms. Yoo gave him a knowing smile. "Adequate sleep means at least seven hours for someone your age," she told him. "You haven't been getting enough sleep, have you? Make sure to do that from now on, alright?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Felix replied quietly, muttering his thanks.

Ms. Yoo smiled kindly, "I'll report your results to the princes. You coming, Momo?" she asked, turning to the Court Mage.

Felix could almost feel it, when her eyes finally left him for a moment, probably flickering towards Ms. Yoo or something.

"Alright," Ms. Yoo said, "I'll be quick."

With Ms. Yoo gone, Felix found himself alone in the room with the Court Mage, and it just made everything worse.

He should probably get out of here, right? He needed to get out of here.

"Lee Felix," the Court Mage spoke up for the first time, addressing him, and never had Felix regret his life choices as much as he did now. He should've gone with Ms. Yoo, he should've excused himself right after she did.

Felix gulped as he slowly turned to her, catching her piercing eyes.

"I stay at Goldencrest most days," she told him. "But I'll be at the guild this Friday. Come find me," she said cryptically, and then she just stood and left.

Felix just stared at the door like an idiot, because what just happened?

He sat there for who knows how much longer before he eventually stood and walked back to the other room, still in a daze.

“Hey, Lix,” Chan greeted him. There was a smile on his face, but Felix thought that it looked somewhat forced. There was something akin to panic lurking behind his eyes. “Jeongyeon noona said that you’re sleep-deprived.”

Felix let out a nervous laugh, his eyes finding Hyunjin’s. “Really?” he said stupidly, because his mind was still grappling with his encounter with the Court Mage. What did she want with him?

Chan nodded, now there was concern in his eyes, “Have you been having a hard time sleeping?”

“Nope,” Felix replied a little too quickly. “I sleep great!”

Felix had a feeling that he wasn’t doing all that well convincing Chan, judging from Hyunjin’s slightly pinched expression.

“Maybe you should stop going to the library so early in the morning,” Minho suggested casually.

“You do that, too, hyung.”

“I’m not sleep-deprived, am I?”

“I’m not, either,” Felix insisted.

“Lix,” Chan said, his wary gaze fixed on him. “If you have trouble sleeping, noona has offered to prescribe a potion that could help, along with that muscle relaxant she talked to you about.”

Rationally, Felix knew that those potions would probably help him. However, he also knew that prescribed potions and medications tended to be strong, and that while Ms. Yoo was probably very great at what she does, she also didn’t know that he was already taking potions regularly for his pain—he wasn’t that eager to reveal that piece of information now that she had determined there was nothing wrong with him. That was something he should have informed her about, especially if she was going to prescribe him something.

“Right,” Felix grimaced. “I’ll think about it.”

Thankfully, the others didn’t press him further about the matter; they all looked a little distracted.

That was good for him. Felix hoped they remained distracted for the rest of the day or something.

If Felix was excited to meet the king, now he just wanted to retreat to his room and hide under the blanket or something. He had a feeling that today wasn’t going to be a very good day for him.

“You alright?” he walked over to Jeongin, who had been really quiet throughout the whole exchange, face troubled. Maybe talking to Jeongin would help distract him from the bizarre encounter he just had.

Jeongin’s eyes flickered to him before he let out a small sigh, “I’m fine,” he said. “It’s just… we just learned something.”

“Learned what?” Felix asked, confused, but also worried because now that he was paying attention, he could see how the others held themselves. They weren’t just distracted. They looked anxious, nervous; they looked troubled.

Jeongin let out another sigh like even just thinking about it tired him, “We have another soulmate,” he said, and Felix felt like the air had been sucked from his lungs for a moment.

Did he hear that correctly?

That couldn’t be. Where the heck did they get that idea from?

Could he have messed up somehow? There was no way. This spell was different from the memory spell, this was a one-time thing, at least that was what his uncle said, right?

“Hyung?” Jeogin’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Are you listening?”

“Yeah,” Felix replied, voice a little choked up. He cleared his throat, “Yeah, I was just...  surprised, like whaat?” he chuckled nervously.

Jeongin stared at him like he thought Felix had lost his mind.

“How, why,” Felix continued, trying his best to not fidget and act cool or something, “What makes you think you do?”

Instead of answering, Jeongin squinted at him, “You’re being weird, hyung,” he pointed out slowly.

Felix would just like to state that this was officially one of the worst days of his life.

“Sorry,” he blurted out. “I was just—shocked,” he added, shutting his mouth before he tried to elaborate further and dig himself into a deeper hole.

“You’re nervous,” Jeongin observed, a frown creasing his forehead, his eyes bore into Felix’s, searching. “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not nervous, Innie,” Felix said dismissively. Or at least, he tried to say that dismissively. “Oh, I just remembered, I needed to talk to Yeonjun hyung about something, I’ll see you guys later, bye!” he said the words in a rush before practically sprinting away, because even though everyone could probably see through his flimsy excuse, that was still the best course of action for him. Staying there and trying to convince them with words would just end very badly for him, since he was terrible at it.

Now that he was alone, though, the gravity of the situation just hit him full force. Jeongin didn’t answer his question, how did they find out that they had another soulmate?

He was sure, he was positive that they couldn’t feel his pain, because he could feel the ache of his broken bond—it ached as much as it did the first day, well, it ached less, but that was the potion at work.

He tried thinking of something, but he couldn’t. He could easily find out about it if he went back and asked them, but if it was up to Felix, he did not want to breach the subject of soulmates when he was in the same room with them. Ever.

He wandered around looking for Yeonjun, but unfortunately for him, the other was busy helping the gardeners with their work. The King was coming, so most of the staff were busy preparing and making sure that everything was in perfect order.

With a resigned sigh, Felix decided to go back to his room to find solace. He knew Jeongin wouldn’t be coming there, at least, he wasn’t supposed to because Felix knew that after the check-up, his friend had the rest of the morning and afternoon booked with the Royal Seamstress.

Felix was once again, grateful for Minhyuk. His clothes were deemed acceptable, so he didn’t have to endure whatever Jeongin was enduring right now.

His thoughts drifted to Minhyuk for a moment.

He missed him dearly, maybe a little more than he missed Wooyoung and San.

It wasn’t because of anything, they were all his friends, and Felix treasured them all equally; but Minhyuk always felt like his friend. Like a separate place, a safe haven. Somehow, he always felt at ease with him, comfortable. 

Felix did wish Minhyuk would one day get along with Jeongin and the rest of his friends, but he had to admit that their… reluctance to be in each other’s presence was probably one of the reasons why Felix felt safe breaching the subject of soulmates with Minhyuk.

He would feel safe breaching any subject, with Minhyuk.

Here in the capital, far from Duskwood and surrounded by his soulmates whom he wasn’t supposed to acknowledge, he felt on edge sometimes. Actually, he felt that way a lot of the time, the earlier incident being a prime example. He enjoyed their company very much, but there was always that little part of his mind whispering quietly: that he had to be careful, that he had to keep them safe, that they were the same people he spent his whole life simultaneously yearning for and avoiding.

If he were in Duskwood, he would have found his way to the lake by now, hoping that by the time he was there, Minhyuk and his lazy grin would be there to greet him.

His friend was still busy with the Committee meeting, he hadn’t shared what exactly prolonged the meetings—stating that he’d tell him all about it once they’re reunited, but he had consistently expressed how much he hated it. He had also expressed his concerns, and had been repeatedly asking if Felix was alright, if things were really alright here at the capital.

Soon, Minhyuk had promised in his letters multiple times. I’ll be coming as soon as I can, he wrote.

Felix hoped he would really come soon. He could use some Minhyuk hugs right about now.

 

---

 

When Minho woke up that morning, he woke to Seungmin's tired eyes.

"Did you get any sleep?" he asked quietly as he tried to blink the sleep away, knowing full well that Seungmin probably didn't get any.

"I did," Seungmin lied, closing his eyes like he was trying to discourage further questions.

Minho just hummed, his eyes studying Seungmin’s face, "You're gonna regret it later."

Seungmin let out a small sigh but made no move to open his eyes.

Minho pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on top of his head, "There's still a few hours before we need to get ready," he said. "Try getting some sleep, Minnie."

For a brief moment, he felt Seungmin relaxing in his arms. He thought that the younger would finally heed his words and try getting some sleep like a reasonable person, but not even five minutes later, his eyes flew open.

Seungmin let out a small sigh.

"I can't sleep," he said—he announced, more like. "I'll just be in my study," he added, already pulling away.

Minho, however, kept his arms firmly around him, not budging. Even in the dark, he could feel Seungmin's half-hearted glare directed at him. "Your father's here to see us, you know that right? To see Jeongin. He's not here to scrutinize your work and request an hour-long presentation of your report."

Instead of responding to that, Seungmin said, "I'm not sleepy."

"Tough luck, I am," Minho retorted. "Good night," he added, closing his eyes.

To his credit, Seungmin still tried to wiggle out of his grasp, before he eventually gave up with a huff.

When Seungmin’s breathing steadied eventually, Minho muttered, "You're already stupid," he told him. "Don't waste any brain cells worrying, you need them.”

Seungmin grumbled.

"You're so annoying, hyung," he shot back with no heat.

"Don't say things you don't mean, either," Minho teased, suppressing a smile.

Seungmin ended up not getting any sleep, and neither did Minho, but at least he managed to keep the other in bed. At least Seungmin got to rest his eyes or something; that had to be enough for Minho.

Minho would usually spend his early mornings in the library with Felix's company, but he had to skip today because he knew Seungmin would lock himself in his study the moment he let go.

He was always nervous on visitation days.

The day moved along slowly.

Minho spent his time trying to distract Seungmin by poking fun at him, but he soon stopped when it was clear that Seungmin was starting to feel agitated for real.

Minho wasn't all that worried about the King, he was more concerned about Jeongin's check-up results, so he was relieved when Jeongyeon noona, the Court Healer, told them that Jeongin was in perfect health.

In a way, they've always expected the opposite.

Not because of anything, but because of that pain they felt thirteen years ago.

There was never a repeat of it, yes, but said pain didn’t feel like anything minor. It felt like something very major, something serious.

Some of them didn't remember exactly how many years ago that happened, or when exactly it happened, but they all vividly remembered the agony they had felt.

To make matters worse, it came from their soulbond, which meant that they weren't experiencing it in its entirety.

Which meant out there, their soulmate experienced even more pain than they did.

The kind of pain that was unimaginable to Minho, because even though he only felt it through the bond, it was excruciating. He thought he was dying, he thought he was going to die.

They all thought it was Jeongin, because it was none of them and he had been their last one; but clearly, they were wrong.

Minho didn't know what to think, because he never considered the possibility of having even another soulmate. There were seven of them, and that was uncommon enough already.

Scratch that, there were eight of them.

Unless they were wrong again, and there were nine, ten, eleven of them. How would they know for sure? Minho had no idea.

Minho could only watch in wonder as Jeongin told Felix about their discovery, and as the scene unfolded in front of him.

“That was weird,” Changbin agreed after Felix scurried away.

“Maybe it’s just a sensitive topic for him,” Seungmin quickly interjected, like he was trying to defend Felix or something, which Minho found rather curious.

There were a few beats of silence.

“Do you know who his soulmate is?” Changbin asked, turning to Jeongin, seemingly not intent on letting it go.

Jeongin’s confused expression immediately soured at the question, “No,” he replied sharply. “I never asked.”

Changbin fell silent at Jeongin's response.

“I did,” Minho chimed in. He watched as everyone’s head turned to him with varying degrees of shock. Jeongin had this betrayed look on his face.

“Why would you do that?” Jeongin asked like he found what Minho did was extremely offensive.

“I was just making conversation,” Minho replied with a shrug. “He was reading soulmate-related books, so I asked.”

Jeongin blinked owlishly, his expression caught between curiosity and hesitation.

Minho couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sympathy towards him.

“He hasn’t found his soulmate,” he told the room.

To Minho, it looked like Jeongin slightly relaxed at the revelation. It didn’t escape his eyes too, how it wasn’t only Jeongin who did.

He decided to keep the rest of his conversation with Felix to himself, though. It didn’t feel right, to reveal that to the others. It wasn’t his to tell.

Granted, this was also not his to tell, but he thought simply revealing that Felix had not found his own soulmate wouldn’t do any harm. He mostly did it for Jeongin, just because he could see how he wanted to know and didn’t want to know simultaneously.

“That still doesn’t explain his behavior earlier, though,” Changbin mused, furrowing his brows.

“He was nervous,” Hyunjin said, more to himself than to the room, agreeing with Jeongin’s earlier observation. “But that doesn’t make sense, why would he be nervous?”

“He was just surprised,” Chan offered, but he sounded hesitant, and Minho could tell that even Chan himself wasn't entirely convinced by his explanation. Minho shot him an unimpressed look.

It was surprisingly, Jeongin who spoke up next, “Hyung’s bad at lying,” he mumbled. There was a frown on his face, and he looked lost in thought. Minho watched as his eyes slowly widened, like he just came to a realization, “That was exactly how he acts when he lies,” Jeongin added.

The room went quiet at that.

Felix was… lying?

But what was he lying about? Jeongin was telling him about their discovery, and Felix was just reacting to it.

The answer was there, but Minho didn’t know what to think about it, because it didn’t make any sense.

Felix didn’t say much, the only statement he uttered was that he was surprised.

If he was lying, what did that mean for them?

 

---

 

The King’s visit went as well as it could be, in Hyunjin’s humble opinion.

They introduced him to Jeongin, and Hyunjin got to be in this position for the first time because he had been the last to be found, the last to join, so he was the last one to be introduced to the King.

Until today.

To his credit, Jeongin didn’t look nervous at all. If he did, he didn’t show it. Hyunjin couldn't help but admire that about him.

They also introduced Felix as Jeongin’s friend, and the King welcomed him with the same warm smile.

The King was a great leader.

Throughout dinner, he took control of the conversation. He primarily expressed his delight in finding Jeongin and expressing his hope that their stay in the palace had been enjoyable.

He inquired about Jeongin's parents and, upon learning that it was Felix's time in the capital, enthusiastically shared his favorite places in the city—like his favorite restaurants and shops.

Not that he visited those often, if at all; Hyunjin knew that for a fact.

He probably used to, though, before he inherited the crown.

Hyunjin wondered if certain things would change when that happened to them.  Would they lose the ability to do certain things they once enjoyed?

Granted, they spent most of their time in the palace, occasionally venturing out for events or parties, or to check out and oversee the ongoing projects, but that was it.

Even before they found him, Hyunjin rarely went out to the city. He was more of an indoor person.

The dinner took a less pleasant turn when Seungmin finally mustered the courage to ask about his mother toward the end.

“How’s Mother?” Seungmin asked, voice quiet.

The whole room froze at that.

Hyunjin could see how the King’s smile faltered for a second. “She’s resting,” was his reply.

“Is she alright?” Seungmin pressed, clearly not satisfied with the answer.

The King’s eyes were gentle when he replied, “She is. There has been no change. You will be the first to know if there is, Son.”

Hyunjin made a silent promise to shower Seungmin with hugs and kisses later, if he managed to coax him to bed at all. Minho had told them that he barely slept last night, so despite what had happened, the odds were in their favor, probably.

Hopefully.

Seungmin looked like he still had things to say, but he didn’t get to because the King spoke up, swiftly changing the topic, “Have you decided when his social debut will be?” he inquired, turning to Chan. “I heard that you’ve already begun the preparations.”

He was referring to Jeongin.

“My apologies, Your Highness,” Chan responded calmly. “We haven’t settled on a date.”

The King hummed thoughtfully. “There will be a banquet next month, as you all probably know. That should be a good time for his first public appearance. We can introduce him to the families,” he suggested.

Hyunjin sneaked a glance at Jeongin, noticing how he tensed at the suggestion.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Your Highness,” Chan said smoothly, because it’s the King’s suggestion.

“Wonderful,” the King smiled, turning to Jeongin to flash him a smile, too, which was returned rather stiffly. “We can plan something grand for his social debut. After all, you’re finally complete! So this calls for a celebration, don’t you think?”

The room went eerily quiet at that, because no, they were not complete; they knew that now.

Hyunjin watched Chan, who hesitated for a moment.

“Yes,” an unexpected chimed in, and it took Hyunjin his everything to keep his expression neutral because what the fuck. “This does call for a celebration,” Seungmin agreed.

The king turned to his son, face softening. “I’m very happy for you, Son.”

When Seungmin replied, he steadily kept his eyes on his father, like he didn’t just blatantly lie to him. “Thank you, Father,” he replied, a small smile gracing his face.

Hyunjin had no idea what Seungmin was thinking, but he could tell this was going to be a long night.

He caught Jisung’s eyes for a second, the other mirroring his expression. He knew Jisung tended to avoid arguments when he wasn’t feeling entirely himself, but he hoped that the other wouldn’t disappear tonight. There were four of them, he could take two and Jisung could take two and then maybe they could end the night in peace.

Seungmin just lied, and while Hyunjin was sure that he probably had his reasons, he also felt disappointed that the other made that decision without consulting any of them.

He didn’t need the ability to read minds to know that his other mates probably felt the same way, not to mention Jeongin himself, who more or less looked like an open book compared to the rest of them.

He was sitting straight, face hard, and he was staring at Seungmin like he had a few things he wanted to say.

Felix, on the other hand, seemed perfectly lost; but Hyunjin thought he could see a hint of relief in his eyes, which was curious.

Hyunjin still had no idea what to think about his weird reaction to their newfound revelation, but he tucked that thought at the back of his mind, deciding that he’d think of it later.

Tonight, he had enough things to think about, like how to make sure that his lovers don’t tear each other apart right after the King went home, for one.

There will definitely be arguments, Hyunjin was sure of it.

He could only hope that it wouldn’t escalate into something more.

Fates. What a mess.

 

---

 

After the King’s visit last night, Felix went straight to bed and pretended to sleep to avoid conversation.

The pattern continued the next day, he woke up early and avoided everyone by hiding in the staff’s quarters at all times except mealtimes. He kept his eyes on the food and stuffed himself as quickly as possible, and he excused himself hastily right after lunch so that he could go to the city.

In his hurry, almost forgot to bring Minkyung’s cake with him.

He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on; especially because Seungmin told the King that they were complete even though Jeongin told him that they knew they had another soulmate. He wasn’t eager to find out, though, so he was content on letting everything be. Yeah, it wasn’t his business, because they’re not his soulmate. Anything soulmate-related should be avoided at all costs, that was the principle.

Right now, he was looking for a book to read in the magical section.

He hoped Hyunwoo would find him today, because Felix had no idea how he could find his friend. He had no idea where he lived. 

“Hi,” a cheerful voice called from behind him, and Felix turned to see a man with the brightest smile he had seen in his life. He almost squinted as if said smile was actually emitting light or something. “Are you Felix?”

Felix had met a lot of new people ever since he first ventured out of the forest, but none of those encounters ever started this way.

“Yes,” he answered, but it sounded like a question.

“Great!” the man said, elated. “I’m Kyuseok,” he introduced himself, extending his hand.

Felix accepted it, and Kyuseok shook his hand very enthusiastically, “I’m Felix,” he said dumbly.

Kyuseok laughed brightly, “I know!” he said. “I’ve been looking for you!”

Felix blinked in confusion, “You have?”

Before Kyuseok could explain further, someone interrupted their conversation.

“Felix!” A familiar voice called, and Felix turned just in time to see Hyunwoo approaching them, looking relieved. “You’re here,” he breathed.

“Hey,” Felix greeted him, feeling more at ease in the presence of his friend. “Sorry, something came up. I haven’t been able to come because of it.”

Hyunwoo appeared even more relieved at that. He let out a soft sigh, “I thought I’d scared you off,” he said, sounding a bit somber.

“Scare me?” Felix asked incredulously. “Why would you scare me?”

Hyunwoo blinked, looking like he just realized something. He broke into an easygoing smile. “Right, why would I scare you?” he agreed. “I’m not intimidating.”

Felix let out an amused huff at that, “Minkyung is ten times more intimidating than you.”

“Now that’s a stretch,” Hyunwoo laughed. “I see that you’ve met Kyuseok.”

Felix’s eyes flickered back at Kyuseok, who was now practically buzzing in excitement. “You’re friends?”

“Yep!” Kyuseok said, slinging his arm around Felix’s shoulder. “Hyunwoo’s talked about you, he’s not so good at making new friends, so of course I was thrilled to hear that he’s finally managed to do it! I just had to meet you!”

Felix laughed at that, “Is that so?”

“No, I’m not!” Hyunwoo protested vehemently, “I’m—“

“Yah!” another voice came, and another person appeared. The new person eyed Felix, seemingly surprised. “Fates, he’s real?”

“I know!” Kyuseok exclaimed enthusiastically.

“Of course he’s real!” Hyunwoo said, sounding offended.

“Well, can you blame me for—“

“This is Seojun,” Kyuseok introduced.

“Hey, I was trying to say—“

“Hi,” Felix greeted, feeling a little overwhelmed. He thought he’d meet Hyunwoo today, maybe even Siwoo if he was lucky. He didn’t think that he’d meet Hyunwoo’s friends. It was a pleasant surprise, but it was something he didn’t expect.

“Sorry, I should’ve told you I wanted to introduce you to my friends,” Hyunwoo said apologetically. It was almost as if he could read Felix’s mind or something.

“It’s fine, I was just surprised,” Felix assured him. He would never say no to new friends.

“Well, we’re here for a reason. We have something we want to discuss with you,” Kyuseok said, suddenly turning serious.

“With me?” Felix repeated, and he nodded in response. “Like, right now?”

“No time like the present,” Kyuseok said cheerfully.

“Hey, maybe we should—“

“We think someone is trying to sabotage the royal family,” Kyuseok announced, voice quiet and serious.

There were a few beats of silence.

And then Hyunwoo facepalmed himself, letting out a quiet groan.

“Way to ease him into it!” Seonjun said, voice strained. He glanced around frantically like he wanted to make sure that there was no one nearby.

Kyuseok’s serious expression slowly melted into that of confusion. “What?” he asked. “You said he’s safe,” he said, turning to Hyunwoo, who was still very much in the middle of a facepalm.

“He also said that we need to explain everything properly! You can’t just say that outright!” Seojun snapped.

“I am going to explain everything properly!”

“You should’ve done that before you spring—“

“This is not it,” Hyunwoo told Felix, looking like he was going to cry or something.

Felix shifted his attention to Hyunwoo, Kyuseok and Seojun’s bickers fading in the background. “What’s not what?” he asked, totally confused.

Hyunwoo let out a long, long sigh.

“Listen, Felix,” he began. “You’re… remember those men, the ones we met when we went shopping for Minkyung?”

Felix nodded, unsure what they’ve got to do with… whatever this was.

“You defended the royal family,” Hyungwoo reminded him, “Or at least, you said that it wasn’t fair to judge people based on their status,” he said.

He didn’t continue, seemingly waiting for some kind of response from Felix, so he gave him a hesitant nod.

“The truth is, there has been an increasingly negative sentiment towards the royal family—towards the Prince and his Soulbond Heirs, in particular,” Hyunwoo said, voice low.

The library was deserted today, the magical section tended to be deserted, and today wasn’t an exception, but Felix supposed he could understand why they were still talking in hushed voices like this.

Felix was still unsure where this conversation was headed, but Hyunwoo’s explanation made his stomach drop. Sure, he heard the others talk about that before when they were trying to help Jeongin understand the weight of everything, but now that he was speaking with someone who was not them, someone outside the palace, it felt even more real.

“Obviously, they don’t have a very great image in general, especially to those living in the Capital and the closest Outlands, but even more, there have been whispers among the noble families,” Hyunwoo continued.

“We believe that someone is trying to sabotage the royal family,” Seojun jumped in. Felix only realized now that he had stopped arguing with Kyuseok—they were both listening to Hyunwoo’s explanation quietly.

Felix didn’t like how that sounded. Sabotage?

He could feel expectant eyes on him, so he shifted uncomfortably.

“Are you sure?” he eventually asked.

Hyunwoo blinked. “What do you mean am I sure?”

“I mean,” Felix said, looking around helplessly for support, but Kyuseok and Seojun were staring at him in confusion, too. “That’s like, something very bad, isn’t it? I know that a lot of people are prejudiced, especially here in the capital, and a lot of them are skeptical towards the royal family, but to sabotage them?” he asked incredulously. “That’s… big. That’s almost as if they’re trying to start a coup, a revolution, or something like that.”

Hyunwoo and Seojun exchanged a wary glance, while Kyuseok just tilted his head like he was actually considering Felix’s words.

“Felix,” Seojun spoke slowly. “I think that’s exactly what they’re trying to do.”

Felix swallowed heavily.

“There’s no way,” he disagreed, voice barely above a whisper. “I know that the royal family doesn’t really have a good reputation among some people, but I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding. Nothing that can’t be resolved easily, the King just needs to help them understand and they’ll be okay, right?” he asked, hopeful. No one responded to that last sentence. “Right?” he repeated, and he hated how weak he sounded.

Hyunwoo offered him an apologetic smile, shaking his head like he was gently telling him no. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple,” he said.

A coup? A real coup?

Seungmin’s concern was real? It was actually happening?

That couldn’t be, Felix refused to believe it. That couldn’t be happening.

But what if it was?

A sudden realization struck Felix, so he asked, “Wait, why are you telling me this?” He couldn’t understand why they were sharing something so sensitive and serious with him. He was a nobody, what did they expect to achieve by telling him? Did they know that he actually knew Seungmin personally or something?

His eyes widened in horror at the thought, but he didn’t get to entertain it that much.

“I was waiting for you to ask!” Kyuseok cheered, interrupting Felix’s spiraling thoughts. “You see, you’re invited!”

“I’m invited?” Felix repeated. “To what?”

“Kyuseok-ah—“

“To this!” Kyuseok said, enthusiastically gesturing at the three of them. “To us! We don’t want anything like that to happen, so we’re here to stop them from happening! Or at least, we hope to do that. We call ourselves the Brotherhood of the Bold!”

“No! No, we don’t!” Seojun disagreed rather passionately.

“What?” Kyuseok turned to him, genuinely confused. “But I thought we agreed that—“

“We didn’t agree on shit,” Seojun cut him off. “We’re not calling ourselves the Brotherhood of the Bold,” he said, sounding disgusted. 

Felix watched them argue back and forth, while Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to hit himself on the head hard enough to induce amnesia and then throw himself off a cliff so that he could get away from Kyuseok and Seojun’s bickering.

The two obliviously went on.

“But you said–”

“I said that it wasn’t as bad as the Crimson Knights or the Undefeated Union! Or the Amazing Society! Or half a dozen names you’ve come up with, as a matter of fact!” Seojun snapped. “Why do we have to have a name, anyway? We’re just here because we have a common goal and thought we should do something instead of just sitting around!” 

“Having a name makes it official,” Kyuseok grumbled, seemingly disappointed.

“You—“

“Right,” Hyunwoo clasped his hands, drawing Felix’s attention back to him as he stepped closer. “Please pretend like these two don’t exist. The point is, you’re invited!” 

If Felix was being honest, his brain wasn’t entirely following the conversation. He was still kinda stuck at the someone is trying to sabotage the royal family part. “To… what?” he repeated dumbly.

Hyunwoo blinked. Seojun sighed. 

“See, I told you we need a name!” Kyuseok exclaimed. 

“If you attempt to name us one more time I swear I will come to your house and burn your stupid figurine collection.”

Kyuseok gasped, horrified. “That’s so cruel, Junnie!”

“Would you two shut up?!” Hyunwoo finally snapped, turning to glare at them with all his might. If he could obliterate people with glares, these two would’ve been dead.

When he turned back to look at Felix, he did his best to flash a friendly smile. Judging from how Felix stiffened, he knew he failed rather spectacularly.

“Well—you’re invited to our humble, small alliance, as you can see from the mess I get to call an alliance…” he took a deep, steadying breath. “Anyways, we have a name, we don’t, whatever. But we have decided to invite—to recruit you into our cause.” 

“Like a secret alliance!” Kyuseok added.  

“A secret alliance?” Felix echoed, suddenly captivated by the idea, because that sounded kinda exciting! Like something out of the adventure books he had read, where the protagonist assembled a team and embarked on a quest to save the world or something. “Cool!”

“I know right!” Kyuseok let out a hearty laugh, which was cut short when Seojun elbowed him. 

Felix didn’t get elbowed or anything, but he snapped himself back to he reality, too—they were talking about a small alliance to stop any attempts of coup or revolution, he reminded himself.

Face falling, he felt dread crawling up his throat.

“So… what do you think?” Hyunwoo asked expectantly. “Are you in?”

“I’m…” Felix started, struggling for words. He sighed. “I don’t want anything like that to happen, too,” he admitted softly. Kyuseok let out a silent cheer, which was shushed by Seojun. “But honestly, I still don’t really understand what you do and like, what you expect from me? Why me?”

Hyunwoo smiled, “That’s understandable. There’s much to explain. We haven’t even told you the things we’ve found and how we came to this conclusion; why we think—why we’re sure that someone’s trying to sabotage the royal family, but I don’t think that this is the right place for it,” he said as he looked around.

They were still the only people in the section, but Felix shared the sentiment.

“Why don’t we meet at Seojunnie’s tomorrow?” Kyuseok suggested.

“That would probably be for the best,” Hyunwoo agreed. “What do you think, Felix?”

“Sure,” Felix agreed. “But I don’t know where…?”

“We’ll meet here tomorrow,” Hyunwoo assured. “At 1 o’clock, would that work for you?”

Felix nodded, and they all agreed on the plan.

They talked some more after that, but it was nothing of significance, mostly small talk. Apparently, Hyunwoo first brought his friends to the library two days ago, but of course, Felix wasn’t there. They came every day since then in the hopes of running into him, but he wasn’t there until today. That was why both Kyuseok and Seojun thought Hyunwoo was making things up or something.

Felix laughed at the story.

Before they parted ways, he handed the box that he brought, Minkyung’s cake inside it, and an envelope. He had written her a short birthday message.

Hyunwoo’s expression lit up like it was Christmas. It was almost as if he was the one receiving them.

Felix spent the next few hours by himself, reading books even though he could barely concentrate. He decided against looking for Siwoo today, his mind filled with concerns about whatever Hyunwoo and his new friends were going to tell him tomorrow.  

When Felix finally headed home, he found himself dreading dinner. He knew Jeongin, at the very least, wanted to talk to him about something—probably about his spectacular reaction to their we have another soulmate! announcement.

He did say that he would do anything for Jeongin, but maybe that was a lie. This he wouldn’t do.

When he finally arrived, though, he didn’t expect to push the door to the Dining Room to this.

“Noona?” Felix asked, sounding a little  breathless.

He blinked a few times to clear his eyes, because he was probably hallucinating or something, there was no way this was real.

The Court Mage was there, in the Dining Room with everyone else.

The last time Felix checked, Friday was still a few days away, so he wasn’t entirely sure why she was there.

But that wasn’t what made Felix think he was hallucinating, because beside her, was Hayeon.

She had shot up from her seat the moment Felix came in, a hint of something familiar in her eyes.

That crazed look she had whenever she talked about his sight. Or maybe it was a hint of urgency, or maybe it was both; Felix wasn’t sure.

“What are you doing here?”

Notes:

early update this week! as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (oct 18) the latest, unless i finish early. hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 24: Crimson Confrontation

Notes:

tw: blood, self-harm, death.

The atmosphere of the room was stifling, silence echoing like it was trying to desperately fill the void. 

The moment his father was gone, Seungmin knew he wanted to be anywhere but here. Felix had excused himself as soon as he was gone, and Seungmin was just starting to realize that he should probably have done the same.

Unfortunately for him, it was a little too late now. 

"What are you doing?" It was unexpectedly, Jeongin, who had spoken first. "Why would you lie about that?" 

“Minnie, you can’t just—“ 

"It's better this way," Seungmin said. "It's safer for everyone if no one knows. No one has to know." 

"Safer or better?" Minho challenged, his sharp words cutting through the room like a knife. 

“Both," Seungmin said tiredly. 

"Don't lie to me, Kim Seungmin," Minho retorted, and Seungmin could almost feel the anger simmering beneath his words. 

“Hyung—" Hyunjin started. 

"No," Minho cut him off, anger flaring. "He knows he's lying. He wasn't thinking about anyone’s safety when he lied, he was letting his frustrations get the better of him, that's why he lied; because having another soulmate means that we're at risk, and it means that the King would continue to—“ 

"Min," Chan interrupted, voice stern. "Enough." 

Minho said something in retaliation, but Seungmin wasn't listening—not anymore, because Minho was right. 

Seungmin wasn't blind, he knew that his Father had intentionally assigned them the lightest workload, only the minor things to oversee, the ones that didn't involve a lot of trips to manage. 

Deep down, he knew it was because his Father cared for him, that he just wanted to keep them safe, but it also meant that he didn't trust them to keep themselves safe. 

They had another soulmate, but no one had to know. 

If the King believed that their bond was complete, that meant that there were no wild cards, and that they weren’t vulnerable—not anymore. He would start trusting them with bigger projects and bigger responsibilities. He would let them be involved in more affairs, maybe even attend the council on their own. 

Minho was right. That was why Seungmin lied; he was sick and tired of being helpless, of being sheltered. 

He needed to step up, he needed to prove himself. 

"Seungmin-ah," Jisung's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Seungmin turned to him, seeing the worry etched into his face.

"I'm sorry I did that without discussing anything with you," Seungmin said, voice hard. "But I still think that was the best course of action." 

Changbin spoke up, frustration evident on his face. "The best course of action?" he repeated incredulously. "You just lied to your father, to the King. And for what, because you can't be patient—“ 

"I have been patient enough!" Seungmin snapped. 

He had to prove himself, he had to prove that he could be a good King. He was tired of being the weird prince with too many soulmates. 

He needed to be a good son. 

"We have no idea who this person is, and how to find them. How much longer must this go on?" he asked, staring Changbin down. "What if we found them and oh, it's not just them either, we have yet another soulmate to find. What then? How long do I have to wait before I can step up and do what I was supposed to do, to prove that I'm worthy of the crown? How many more soulmates do I—“ 

"Stop before you say anything you'll regret," Hyunjin cut him off, his voice soft but his gaze fierce.

It was then Seungmin realized what he was saying. What he was about to say. 

He snapped his mouth shut, hands clenched into fists.

A heavy, tense silence enveloped the room.

"I know you're frustrated," Jisung started. His face displayed a complex mix of emotions, there was hurt there. ”I am, too. But I'll never regret this, I'll never regret us. Every single one of you is—“ 

"I don't regret us," Seungmin interjected quickly, a look of horror creeping onto his face.

Jisung offered a faint, sad smile, but said nothing in return. 

Dread clawed its way up Seungmin's throat. He didn't say that, did he?

What happened next made his stomach drop. Silently, Hyunjin stood up, and without sparing anyone a glance, he left. 

No one said anything, no one called him back. Not even Changbin, who, to Seungmin's horror, followed Hyunjin's lead. 

Next was Minho, face hard and eyes deadly, looking like he would murder anyone who said a word to him.

Seungmin swallowed heavily, eyes landing on Chan who was wearing a very similar expression to Minho.

Minho could be scary sometimes—not that Seungmin would ever admit it out loud—but Chan was terrifying. 

He was terrifying because he was always so patient and understanding with all of them. He barely ever lost control of his emotions. 

"We'll talk later," Chan muttered quietly without making eye contact with Seungmin, jaw clenched. He too, stood and left. 

The sound of the door closing behind him made Seungmin flinch even though he didn’t slam it shut. 

Jisung was still there, though. 

Jisung was usually the first to leave the room when things got too much, when things were too overwhelming for him. This was probably a good example of that, but he was still here. 

"I'm sorry," Seungmin whispered, throat constricting with guilt. 

Jisung said nothing in response, staring down the table like he wished it could speak for him or something. 

Eventually, Jisung looked up, their gazes finally locking. "I know," he said. "I am, too." 

Slowly and almost apologetically, he stood up and, much like the others, left the room. 

A whirlwind of emotions hit Seungmin like a brick. 

Guilt, anger, frustration, disappointment, dread—all mixed up together. 

He let out a frustrated groan, how could he be so careless with his words? 

For a little while, he just sat there, berating himself. 

Then, he noticed a presence. 

Seungmin realized he wasn't as alone as he thought he was. 

Jeongin was still there. 

He was watching Seungmin, looking like he was trying to both figure Seungmin out and decide what he wanted to say, which wouldn’t be anything pleasant, if Seungmin had to guess. 

Against all expectations, Jeongin simply let out a small sigh. He stood, and then he gave Seungmin's shoulder a gentle squeeze before wordlessly leaving. 

Seungmin suddenly realized that they were all mad at him, and Jeongin was probably the least mad. 

The thought filled him with more guilt than he could handle. 

He was definitely in the wrong, he knew it. 

This was why Seungmin hated talking, he seemed to always find just the wrong words to say, especially in the heat of the moment. He should’ve made a run for it, right after his father left. At least he could gather his mind and think about what to say and how to say it properly before talking to anyone. 

The more time he spent in silence right there, all by himself, the more he realized how he sounded.

Being a good son, not disappointing his parents had always been one of the most important things to him. It was so important that he sometimes lost his sight of other things. 

It was important, but his mates were important, too. 

Seungmin definitely owed them an apology. 

He had to make things right. 

 

---

 

So many questions were running through Felix's mind right now, his eyes zooming into Hayeon as everything else seemed to blur into the background. 

Instead of answering, Hayeon immediately darted to him and grabbed his face, pulling him close as she looked into his eyes very literally, like she was trying to make sure that they were in perfect condition or something. 

Felix could only stare back, bewildered. She was quite literally squishing his cheeks now, "Noona?" he asked tentatively. 

The older didn’t seem to hear him. 

It was eventually the sound of a familiar caw that broke the spell Hayeon seemed to be under. 

She released her grip, stepping back and blinking owlishly, like suddenly remembering that they were very much not alone. She turned to the room rather awkwardly, "Thank you for allowing this, Your Highnesses," she said politely. 

It was only then Felix let his eyes stray away from Hayeon, taking the room behind her. Everyone was watching, a mixture of intrigue, concern, and confusion on their faces. 

"Not at all," Seungmin responded. 

The Court Mage stepped forward. "Come. I have warded a room for you," she said. 

Warded a room? Felix repeated in his mind, confused. 

So many things were happening that his mind was literally spinning. Hayeon went and took a basket, as well as the cage—Byeol’s cage, Byeol was inside the cage, why was Byeol inside a cage—with her, and then she nudged Felix, prompting him to start moving. 

Felix followed the two women in a daze. His thoughts were a jumbled mess, and he wasn't sure what to think.

The Court Mage led them to a room at the end of the corridor, opening the door for them. Hayeon strutted inside, and Felix simply followed her lead. He heard the click of the door closing behind him, and he was alone with Hayeon. 

"Noona," Felix spoke up immediately. "Why are you—how are you here? How did you know where I was staying? Why are you—“ 

"It's a long story," Hayeon interrupted. "I'll tell you all about it later, alright? There's something important I need to discuss with you.”

Felix didn’t like how that sounded because he really wanted to know how she found him. Above all, he felt anxious now; Hayeon hadn’t told anyone about his sight, had she? How did she manage to locate him? What did she tell the others, the excuse she used to see him?

Snapping her finger in front of his face, Hayeon drew his attention back to her. "Lix," she said, and it was then Felix saw what she was holding, a small pouch. The kind she used to store  soil samples, the ones she sent to Felix along with her letters. 

She opened the pouch and titled it toward Felix which was unnecessary because even before she opened it, Felix could already see the magic seeping out of the pouch, the thick, black dust floating around. 

"Is it there?" Hayeon asked. 

Felix swallowed, but he met her gaze and nodded stiffly.

Hayeon let out a long sigh, sounding tired but not surprised. "I knew it didn't work just from watching Byeol, but I had to be sure," she mumbled. She started pacing back and forth, muttering to herself. 

"What's going on, noona?" Felix asked, voice laced with worry. 

For a little while, Hayeon actually ignored his question. She continued her restless pacing, muttering under her breath.

Felix waited patiently, too anxious to think of anything that could make her start speaking.

Eventually, she let out another sigh and she came to a stop. "Remember what I told you in my last letter?" she asked. "That the guild was sending people, and that we were going to conduct a purifying ritual?" 

Felix nodded in response. 

"Well, they did. And we did the ritual, and—“ she paused, making a small frustrated noise. "The thing you need to understand about purifying rituals, Felix, is that they involve very advanced magic, that's why they were sending people. So when I said people, I meant the best ones in the field, the best Magicians and Sorcerers there are. If this were any other circumstance, I would’ve been thrilled to be there, to witness these amazing mages doing what they do best," she sighed, seemingly disappointed that she was robbed of the thrill she was supposed to be feeling. "But of course, all I felt was dread afterward because it didn't work. I needed—I had to be sure, that's why I came here to see you myself.”

Felix's throat went dry as he listened to her explanation. "What does... what does that mean?" 

"It means that we're completely at a loss," Hayeon told him, face serious. "This is happening all over the Kingdom, and we have no idea how to stop it." 

"Wait," Felix said, his face twisted with horror. "What do you mean it's happening all across the Kingdom?" 

"Right," Hayeon sighed heavily. She had been sighing more the past few minutes than he had ever heard for as long as he knew her. "This doesn't get out of this room, the guild is keeping quiet for now, but this... phenomenon, whatever it is, is happening all across the Kingdom. You know the Kingdom is surrounded by the Nightshade forest, yes? You also know that there have been a series of animal attacks, thus we’re building the walls. What the Guild hasn’t disclosed is the fact that Mages from all over the Kingdom have stumbled upon the rotting. Not that they know what it was, but their familiars were agitated enough that a lot of them mentioned it in their reports.” 

“Duskwood was actually the first to undergo a purifying ritual, but just as I arrived in the capital I received news that they’ve tried the same thing in Crimson Peak and it seemed to have failed, judging from the reactions of the familiars.”

Felix kept quiet at that, unsure what to say. 

"I'm fairly confident that we're correct in thinking that the animal attacks aren't attacks. They’re only trying to escape the rotting," she continued. "A purifying ritual involves highly advanced magic because it doesn't fail, there is no magic, spell, ward, curse, or whatever that it can't purify. That's why it needs a substantial amount of magic; that’s why it's extremely difficult to execute." 

"But it did fail," Felix muttered unhelpfully, his thoughts in a whirlwind. 

"It did," Hayeon agreed. "I haven't told you this, but they initially approved the purifying ritual at my request because when I submitted my reports, I included a hypothesis. It's kinda like cheating because I said what I said based on what you told me—that this is a different kind of magic, that you've never seen anything like this before. I told them exactly that, but without mentioning you, of course.” 

Felix felt his stomach drop at that, he should've been a lot clearer when he said that, "Noona… I haven't seen that much magic," he protested, guilt gnawing at him. “Maybe I was—"

"No," Hayeon interrupted, voice grim. "You're right. This is different, I just told you, right, that the purifying ritual can purify anything? It didn't work," she said, stressing each word unnecessarily. "This is different, something entirely new. At this scale, I'm not even sure if it's humanly possible to pull off.” 

"There's something at work here, something bigger than all of us," Hayeon sighed. She started pacing again. "We found nothing in the books, in the ancient scripts, in the tomes. Nothing," she said, sounding increasingly frantic. 

“Noona—" 

"Whatever is happening here, we don't have the means to stop it, it's like... like something of nature. What can we do in the face of nature? Is the world ending? Did we anger the fates?" 

Hayeon's very audible spiraling thoughts really didn't help Felix's growing anxiety, and when he said growing, he meant very rapidly. He could even feel his breath picking up. 

"What can I do?" he asked, and Hayeon paused in her tracks. "What can I do to help?" 

Something akin to realization flashed in her eyes, and she came closer, grabbing his shoulders. "Lix," she started, voice quiet. "I think you should consider telling other people about your sight." 

 

---

 

Jeongin didn’t expect them to resolve their issues this quickly. 

The mood had been sour after the King left, and Jeongin got to witness them fighting, but he had to admit that he was impressed. It seemed like everything was back to normal the next day, so they must’ve made up with each other. 

Even more, Seungmin approached him and apologized, acknowledging that he had said things he shouldn’t have and didn’t mean. 

Jeongin accepted the apology easily. He still felt slightly irritated by Seungmin’s lie, but in all honesty, he was mostly perturbed by the other part of the conversation, particularly the one about his grand social debut. 

He didn’t want a grand anything. He made a mental note to express that very explicitly later. 

Normally, he’d be even more agitated about the whole thing, but fortunately, Jeongin’s mind was rather preoccupied with something else. 

Felix. 

His hyung had been avoiding him like the plague after that conversation, he knew it. It reminded him of the first time they met and how he used to avoid him all the time, muttering excuses about laundry. 

It felt exactly like that. 

Felix was still around, but he was always running off somewhere. 

He had never been a particularly fast eater, yet he’d been stuffing himself like a madman during mealtimes, keeping the entirety of his attention on the food—and when he was done he’d immediately excuse himself. 

Today was no different.

“I’m going to tell my family,” Jeongin declared at lunch that day, catching Chan’s eyes. He had been postponing this for too long. He dreaded telling them, but he wanted them to know before anyone else, so he was definitely going to tell them before his cursed, first public appearance at the bloody banquet. 

Chan nodded. “Would you like to tell them via letter or in person?”

Jeongin sighed mentally. “In person would probably be better,” he decided.  

He couldn’t imagine saying something this important through a letter. He needed to be there with his family because they were definitely going to be upset about it. 

“Shall we arrange for them to visit?” Chan proposed.

If Jeongin was being honest, he’d rather be the one who returned to meet them, but he was tired of arguing at this point, so he simply agreed. 

“We can arrange carriages for them,” Seungmin spoke up.

“Normal ones,” Jeongin insisted quickly. 

“Of course,” Seungmin agreed easily. “We will also arrange temporary workers, to take care of their work.”

That would undoubtedly arouse the curiosity of the villagers, but at this point, Jeongin couldn't care less. It was going to happen sooner or later. 

Jeongin nodded. “Would you do the same for my friends? If they wanna come.”

Wooyoung and San would definitely come at this point, they had been pestering him so much in the letters.

“Of course,” Chan replied this time. “We can arrange that for you. Felix, would you like to invite your family, as well? You must miss them.”

Jeongin turned in time to see how Felix, with his mouth full, momentarily froze. He then tried to chew and swallow the food as fast as he could before he finally answered, “Uh… no, but thank you."

Jeongin couldn't help but notice the tinge of sadness in his eyes, even though he was clearly trying not to show it. He was definitely thinking of his uncle. 

“You can invite him if you want, hyung,” Jeongin said, voice quiet. 

Felix turned to him. There was a hint of wariness in his eyes, “Him?”

“Lee Minhyuk,” Jeongin said. He tried to say the name in a neutral tone, but it sounded like a grumble. 

Felix’s eyes widened slightly at that, seemingly caught off-guard by his suggestion. His expression softened, and he gave Jeongin a genuine smile, “Thanks for saying that, Innie,” he said sincerely. “You don’t have to, though. It’s okay,” he added. 

Jeongin could almost hear it, the unspoken it’s okay, I know you don’t like him, you don’t want him here.

“It’s okay, hyung. He’s your friend,” Jeongin insisted despite everything. He did not want Lee Minhyuk there, but he also knew that his presence would probably cheer Felix up. He’d feel bad if he got to invite his parents and his friends, while Felix had no one. 

His friends were very much Felix’s too, but still. 

“It’s okay,” Felix replied. “Hyung’s busy recently, with the Committee,” he mumbled, disappointment etched in his face.

“Invite him anyway,” Jeongin encouraged, feeling guilty because he felt a wave of relief at Felix’s words, even though his friend was clearly bummed. “Who knows, maybe he’ll come.”

Felix flashed him a grateful smile that was a little hesitant, “Are you sure?” 

“Of course, hyung.”

Jeongin didn’t want to admit it, but he could see how Felix’s face lit up the slightest bit at the thought of Lee Minhyuk coming. 

It was fine. He could tolerate him if that meant Felix would be happy. 

That wasn’t the only thing he was worried about, when it came to Felix. 

Yesterday evening, Hayeon had shown up in the palace out of nowhere, she came with the Court Mage. She assured them that Felix didn’t tell her anything, which was why she had to go the roundabout way to see him. She went looking for him at the guild where the Court Mage heard of her quest to find him, and decided to help. They also assured them that Hayeon was under a magically-binding oath, and would not speak a word to other people about Felix, Jeongin, or anything related to them and the Princes that could potentially endanger them, especially before Jeongin’s social debut. 

When Chan asked what she needed to see Felix for, she said she had something personal and urgent matter to discuss with him. She provided no further explanation, and even though she was facing the literal heirs of the throne—she didn’t seem particularly inclined to elaborate.

She mentioned his potions, though; gesturing to the basket she was carrying, the same kind Jeongin found a while ago. She had brought more of them because she was certain that he was running low.

Predictably, everyone was concerned about that. The Court Mage immediately assured them that Felix wasn’t suffering from anything contagious, and that it was nothing serious. 

Minho asked why they hadn’t been informed about this before, which made her apologize as they hadn’t found anything that indicated Felix was in pain. The Court Mage seemed troubled then, so Jeongin spoke up and told them what he knew, that Felix had light headaches often and he takes the potion to help with it.

They stopped questioning the Court Mage at that. 

When Felix finally arrived, she escorted him and Hayeon to the room she had warded for them to converse in private. In her absence, they questioned Jeongin all about Felix and his potions, and he told them what he knew—which wasn’t much, but it was something.

That day, Jeongin learned that mages were not permitted to enter the palaces without the supervision of the Court Mage or the Mage of the palace in question; that was why she had accompanied Hayeon here, and why she had warded a room for them to speak privately. It was to ensure that Hayeon didn’t practice any magic while she wasn’t looking, since she had insisted that she needed to speak with Felix privately. The Silvercrest Palace did not have its own resident Mage, so the Court Mage herself had to be there. 

“—We need you to keep it to yourself,” Jeongin tuned back into the conversation just as Chan finished speaking.

“Of course,” Felix replied as he straightened himself. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks, Lix.”

Felix nodded, and then he started eating hastily again. Jeongin felt his stomach fall, how long was this going to last?

He couldn’t figure him out no matter how much he thought it over. Was Felix really lying when he was reacting to what Jeongin told him? If he was lying, would that mean that he wasn’t surprised? But what does that mean? That he already knew they had another soulmate, even before they realized it themselves? It didn’t make any sense. 

“What’s going on, Felix?” It was Changbin who spoke up, a frown etched on his face. “You’ve been weird recently,” he continued. “You’re always rushing off somewhere the past few days. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Felix said quickly.

“Something’s clearly wrong. You’ve been acting like this since the day of the King’s visit,” Minho pointed out, eyes calculating. “Or was it since Jeongin told you that we had another soulmate?”

“What?” Felix asked, voice barely above a whisper. The color drained from his face. “That’s—I’m not—“

“Thirteen years ago,” Minho stated, and Jeongin could almost see it in slow motion, how Felix’s eyes widened, how fear crept from behind them before they were completely engulfed in it. 

Jeongin watched as Felix’s whole body stiffened, as he seemed to have stopped breathing. 

He had never seen Felix like that; he looked like a cornered animal. 

He looked absolutely and undoubtedly terrified. 

 

---

 

“Thirteen years ago,” Felix heard, and his whole world came to a stop. 

“That means something to you,” Minho observed, his eyes boring at him he could almost feel his skin burning. “What does that mean to you, Felix?” he pressed. “What do you know about our soulmate?”

Felix was pretty sure that he never wanted the curse to finally catch up to him more than in that moment. 

“Why did she die?”

“My boy, it’s—“

“Please tell me, Uncle,” Felix interrupted. There was something in his chest, something that was sucking everything in—everything he felt; grief, pain, sadness, leaving him hollow. “Please.”

“Your mother met an unfortunate end,” Insu said carefully. “It is—“

“Is it the curse?” Felix asked.

His uncle started to respond but thought better of it. He shook his head slowly before letting out a small sigh. 

“It is, isn’t it?” Felix pressed, his voice filled with desperation and fear. He wanted Uncle Insu to say no, to tell him it wasn't the curse, that his mother was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But how could she be at the wrong place, when she was home?

“Your father’s bloodline is cursed,” Uncle Insu said, voice hushed. He averted his gaze, seemingly unable to look Felix in the eyes. 

“My father’s bloodline,” Felix repeated, voice hollow. 

His father. 

Someone he had never met. 

She always told him stories about him, how gentle and kind he was, how very brave and strong he was. 

How he loved them very much. 

But he was just that for Felix, he was just a character in her tales—one of many. 

His bloodline was cursed. 

The phrase mocked him, playing repeatedly in his mind, jeering at him. There was something there, the answer to it all, something he hadn’t realized just yet. 

It didn’t take much longer, for him to finally see. After all, he had spent the past year replaying that night in his mind over and over again—the night she died.

“It’s me,” he whispered into the room. “She died because of me.”

His uncle froze at his words.

He could feel his heartbeat picking up; how it became increasingly difficult to breathe by the second. He could see Uncle Insu inching closer, he was saying something, his brow furrowed in worry, but Felix couldn’t hear what he was saying because she died. She died because of him. 

His father’s bloodline was cursed, not hers. 

The blood of his father coursed through him. 

Felix was the one with the curse.

She died because of him. 

“No,” he could hear his uncle’s voice now, loud and resolute. He knelt in front of him, their eyes meeting. Uncle Insu reached out and gently grasped Felix's shoulders, “It’s not your fault, do you hear me, Felix?”

“Felix?” He could hear the voice, but it was muted. He was too far gone in his mind, in his memories. “Hey, are you listening?”

He was running as fast as his legs could carry him. 

He had done something wrong. He promised his mama that he wouldn’t go further than the waterfalls, he promised her that he would be back before dark, and he had broken both promises.

Would she be angry at him?

The thought filled him with dread as he quickened his pace,  stumbling and tripping several times. He had scratches all over him, but he didn’t care. He had to get home soon, his mama must be worried. 

When he finally reached the familiar clearing, even in the darkness of the night, he could see how the front door was wide open.

He raced towards it.

Felix came to a sudden stop in the doorway, staring at the view in front of him. His heart was pounding with fear and confusion.

His mama was on the floor, and she wasn’t moving. Was she sleeping?

“Mama?” he whispered, edging closer, slowly kneeling beside her.

He reached out, touching her cheek, almost flinching when he felt the chilling cold of her skin.

“Mama?” he said, louder this time. He moved his hand to her arm and started gently shaking her, like he did whenever he tried to wake her up early in the morning.

She didn’t stir. 

“Mama?” he tried again, his voice growing louder. He was now shaking her with all his might, and he watched her body move as she lay limp on the floor. 

“Mama!” Felix was shouting now, and the shouts soon turned to  cries and sobs.

Something was wrong.

She was not waking up no matter how hard he was shaking her.

She was not waking up no matter how loud he was being.

The candles had all flickered out, and the fireplace had died down. There was barely any moonlight to illuminate their home, but he could see it clearly—how her eyes remained closed, her lips slightly parted.

She always woke easily. She'd never sleep through the noise he was making.

Was his mama sick? 

Breathing heavily, Felix pushed himself up to his feet and hurried outside. 

“Help!” he shouted into the night, pleading. “Help!” he repeated, his face full of tears. 

The forest was eerily quiet that night. He couldn’t hear the owls, he couldn’t hear the crickets, he couldn’t hear the wind rustling through the leaves.

When he looked up, the sky was pitch black, and the stars were gone.

The woods remained still and quiet, the only noise that could be heard was his desperate screams.

His screams were swallowed by the stillness of the night.

Felix rushed back inside, his own heart beating so loud he could hear them; he could hear blood rushing through his ears like thunder.

“Mama,” he tried again to no avail. 

Stumbling in the dark, he fumbled through their small hut, searching for the good herbs, the ones she taught him about.

He climbed the stool she made for him, and then he climbed onto the wooden counter to reach the jars of dried herbs. 

Felix knew how to make a drink out of the dried herbs, but unfortunately for him, the fireplace had died off when he arrived and so were the candles. While his mama had tried to teach him how to start a fire, he had never managed to do so all by himself just yet, so he had no fire to boil the water. 

But the herbs were good, she taught him so. It should help his mama. 

He went and grabbed a wooden cup, filling it with water before opening the jar and putting a generous amount of herbs into the cup. The more the better, since the herbs were good and his mama was sick, so more herbs meant she would heal sooner. 

Once done, he rushed to grab a wooden spoon, stirring the drink that was unfortunately lukewarm before bringing the cup to his mama, careful not to spill anything. 

“Don’t worry, Mama,” he told her, trying to act brave even though there were tears on his face. “I made this for you. Please wake up.”

As gently as he could, he tried lifting her head a little and brought the cup to her lips. He carefully tipped the cup, allowing the drink to trickle into her parted lips. A few drops landed on her lips while some found their way into her mouth.

He continued to pour the drink into her mouth, his arm was starting to tremble under the weight of her head.

Some of the liquid spilled over, running down the sides of her face onto her clothes. 

Despite the mess he was making, she did not stir. 

His mama remained asleep.

Felix’s eyes brimmed with tears as he looked around the room helplessly, unsure what to do, so like anyone his age would do, he cried.

He cried and cried until he exhausted himself, he sobbed until he had nothing left in him—until his throat hurt and his eyes ached, until the tears felt like fire in his eyes. 

Eventually, he stopped. 

Slowly, he lay down right beside her, burying his face in the crook of her neck the way he always did, feeling the cold, hard skin beneath. 

He pressed himself so close to the stillness, to the silence; to the absence of the ba-dump he could usually hear, to the absence of the rhythm of her breathing.

He stayed that way until he had no more tears to cry, even though the pain he was feeling in his chest was still there. 

He would usually feel better after crying, but this time, the heaviness—the lump in his throat didn’t disappear even when he had exhausted his tears. 

He stayed that way for hours, days. 

He stayed there even when he could smell something new in the air, something he never smelled before. It didn’t smell nice, but he wasn’t going to let go of his mama just because of that. 

He was going to stay with her, they were always going to be together. 

She promised.

He stayed that way until someone stumbled into their home, until  he heard an unfamiliar voice.

“By fates,” the unknown voice said. Felix opened his eyes weakly—reluctantly, eyes landing on the man. His face was horrified. He stared at the scene in front of him, his eyes flickered to Felix. “What happened here?” he asked as he slowly inched closer. “You poor, poor child.”

A small touch on his arm brought him back to the present. “Hyung?” he could hear Jeongin’s voice, filled with concern. 

Felix glanced around the room, his eyes finally seeing what was in front of him instead of what happened years and years ago—finally seeing the people in front of him, the ones he had to protect. 

“Felix,” Chan said, drawing his attention to him. “If you really do know something, please tell us,” he urged, his voice laced with a soft plea.

“It affects your bloodline, and as an extension, those who share a soulbond with you,” he said, voice grim. “Your mother carried the curse from the moment she chose to be with your father. It wasn’t your fault, she didn’t die because of you, do you hear me?”

Soulbond. Soulmate. 

“Do you understand, Felix?” Insu repeated.

“My soulmate,” Felix said instead of responding to his words. Fear surged through him once more, and the vivid image of his mother's lifeless form filled his mind, as though she were right in front of him again. “What about them?”

“Is there anything you wanna tell us, Lix?”

He had to keep them safe. He was never going to let anything happen to them. 

“Do you know anything about our—“

“Why would I know anything about your soulmate, hyung?” Felix asked weakly, feeling exhaustion deep in his bones. He felt the nervousness subsiding, the only thing he could feel now was fear. 

The fear for their safety, for their lives. He could not jeopardize that, he would never let himself jeopardize that.

“Felix,” Minho said, voice serious. Felix turned to him, their eyes locking. “Is it you?” he asked. 

Lee Felix was a bad liar, but he was also a stubborn man. 

He was a bad liar, but he was also determined. 

There they were in front of him, warm and healthy and very much alive.

When he lay in bed at night, Jeongin was right there in front of him, the soft rhythm of his breaths filling the silence of the room, his warm body pressed against Felix’s. If he pressed his ear to his chest, he could hear it loud and clear, the reassuring thump of his heartbeat. Felix could close his eyes and drift to sleep that way, to the comforting sound of Jeongin’s heartbeat. Whenever he placed a soft kiss on Jeongin’s forehead, he could feel the warmth of his skin on lingering his lips.

When he spent mornings with Minho, they would sit side by side, their elbows occasionally brushing, and Felix could hear the soft hum he sometimes made when he came to a particularly interesting passage. When he was too immersed in his reading, Felix would watch as Minho’s beautiful eyes darted around the pages like he was trying to devour the words. Felix loved reading books, but sometimes he thought that he wouldn’t mind watching Minho read forever—he wouldn’t mind seeing the world of the characters reflected through his expression. The cold mornings were warm, with Minho next to him.

When he visited Seungmin in his study, the other would look up from the mountains of paperwork on his desk, and Felix would take a seat and talk his ears off about his day to take Seungmin’s mind off work, even if only for a few minutes. The tension in Seungmin's shoulders would gradually ease as Felix spoke, and he'd listen with genuine interest. When Felix asked what he was working on, he would drone about the things he was trying to figure out—sometimes he would suddenly think of a solution and he would turn to Felix, eyes bright and an excited smile on his face, muttering his thanks even though Felix did nothing but listen. Felix liked it when Seungmin smiled, and he silently thought that he should do it more often. He was content for now, though, he would memorize every detail of his smile—his soft eyes and the small tug of his lips—he would keep it safe in his heart. 

When he spent his nights trying to outrun his nightmares with Hyunjin, they would stand close to each other, finding solace in each other’s presence under the night sky. He could tilt his head and look at the constellations above while listening to the Hyunjin’s steady breathing. On the nights when Hyunjin's nightmares haunted him, Felix would sometimes find the courage to reach out and offer a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath the robe, and while Hyunjin wouldn’t look at him, he could hear the stuttering breath he made before he took a deep steadying breath, trying to shake the dream away. 

When he spent time with Changbin, the other was often cheerful, filling the silence with chatters and coincidental jokes.  Felix would spend his time laughing until he was breathless as he watched the other’s relentless effort to make Dongja like him. Changbin always seemed so bright and alive that whenever Felix looked at him, he felt a sense of relief, of safety. When he looked at him, he thought that this must be how life looked like, if it was personified. Felix had never looked at someone and thought so surely in his mind that this person would make it, no matter what he did, he would make it and he would be alright. 

When he spent his evenings with Jisung, listening to him play and watching the relaxed smile that bloomed on his face when he played a song he really liked; he would think silently about how glad he was that he lived, that he was able to live long enough and hear the most beautiful melodies in the world. He would watch as Jisung’s hands danced on the key—so certain and beautiful, always moving and so, so alive. On the days when Jisung looked like he was one second away from breaking down, they would sit so close to each other, and sometimes they would find themselves in each other’s arms. Jisung would be breathing heavily, and sometimes Felix would be able to feel the slight tremors of his body, but he was warm. He was breathing. 

When he spent his time watching Chan spar with the guards, his eyes focused and determined, his whole body emitting confidence and the yearning to protect; he was reminded of his own purpose, too—that there was only one thing he needed to do, and that was to keep them all safe. When Chan was finally satisfied with the amount of work he put in, he would turn his attention to Felix, engaging him in talks about the staff and his family, about his soulmates, Felix would watch as warmth slowly replaced the steely determination in his eyes, feeling the same warmth growing inside of him, too. The need to protect would grow inside of him just as strongly and unwavering as Chan’s determination to grow stronger. 

Nails digging into his palms painfully, Felix did his best to sound neutral when he spoke up, “You think I’m your soulmate, hyung?” he asked back. 

The moment he uttered those words, it felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room.

“Are you?” Minho countered, voice quiet. 

He had to do something.

He had to convince them that he wasn’t their soulmate, once and for all. 

It was then he remembered it, the pain he had lived with more than half of his life. 

The persistent ache and throbbing that never left him, even when he was alone. It had been with him for so long that sometimes he forgot to remember that it was there, he was so used to the pain that he forgot to perceive it—he could feel it, but sometimes he forgot to perceive it. 

The dull, ever-present ache in his body had become his baseline, his silent partner. It was a part of him, like an invisible tether to his existence, a tether that had persisted since the day they had completed the ritual.

It was almost funny now, how it had become the source of his comfort. 

He could almost feel it, how it was at the beginning—when they had just done the ritual and Felix woke up screaming. 

It felt like he was burning, it felt like he was being torn apart alive—he screamed and screamed, he writhed in agony. 

Hours and days blended into one another. Felix was floating between consciousness and unconsciousness, wishing that he could just cease to exist because the pain was too much; wishing that he could bear the pain just enough to speak and beg his uncle to kill him, but every time he came to he could only scream and groan and cry.

He existed that way for fates know how long, until one day he came to, and the pain was bearable. 

Everything came into focus for the first time in a while, and he could see his uncle’s face hovering above him. 

“My boy,” he breathed. “How are you feeling?”

He tried speaking, but stopped because his throat was so parched he doubted he would be able to make any noise. 

His uncle hurried outside, probably to get him a glass of water, and Felix took the time to feel his body—he clenched and unclenched his hands, wiggled his toes, and flexed his shoulders, feeling almost strange in his own body because he hadn’t been able to feel his limbs; he hadn’t been able to feel anything but pain for a while now. 

Felix’s eyes zoomed onto the item within his reach, an idea forming in his mind. 

He barely registered it as he picked up the knife, its polished blade glistening under the light. With a swift, resolute motion, he sliced open his palm. A sharp gasp escaped the lips of the others as blood welled up and spilled onto his plate, staining the white surface with red.

Minho's eyes widened in horror, his hand reaching out instinctively, but it was too late to stop the act. The room fell into a shocked silence.

Felix held himself steady as he stared at Minho, his eyes searching for a sign, a confirmation that he hadn't felt the pain. "Could you feel that, hyung?" he asked softly, quietly.

His words hung heavily in the silence of the room, and for a moment the only sound that could be heard was that of his blood dripping onto his plate, onto the table.

To Felix, the pain was barely anything—most pain was barely anything after what he had gone through, and he felt a sense of safety in that. 

They couldn’t feel it, he knew it. 

He watched as Minho seemed to come to the same realization, and he felt an overwhelming sense of relief washing over him. 

They couldn’t feel his pain, they knew that now. He did it. 

He would keep them safe until his dying breath. Not even the Fates can stop him. 

Notes:

as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (unless i finish early). i hope you enjoyed the chapter!

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Chapter 25: Nightmares and Cryptic Words

"Are you out of your mind?!" Changbin's half-shouted exclamation jolted Minho out of his mind. Across him, he could see Felix flinching in a startle, too, since he was sitting right beside Changbin and the other could be loud when he wanted to. "You're bleeding!" his hand shot out, gripping Felix's wrist, horrified. 

That snapped everyone out of the trance they had been in.

Jisung shot up from his seat, "I'll summon Jeongyeon noona!" he declared before he rushed off. 

“What—wait!" Felix called, pushing himself up in an aborted move to stop Jisung, but Jisung was already gone. Helplessly, he turned to Changbin, who was now standing, too. He was not letting go of his wrist as his eyes frantically darted around the room, like he was looking for something that could heal the cut in an instant. "It's just a scratch," Felix assured him. 

Changbin was, evidently, not assured. "A scratch?" he screeched. "Your blood is dripping onto the table!" 

Felix's eyes shifted towards the table, a look of realization slowly dawning upon him like he hadn't fully comprehended what he did. "Oh," he said, voice small and meek. Using his free hand, he reached out. He tried wiping the blood off the surface of the table, but ended up smearing it. "I'm sorry, I'll clean it up later, I promise," he said apologetically. 

"Are you actually insane?" Hyunjin asked sharply. “No one cares about the table! You’re bleeding!” he said, voice panicky. 

Minho could only sit there and stare at the scene, because what the fuck just happened? 

He was asking Felix if he was their soulmate, which in Minho's opinion, was a reasonable assumption because why else would he be acting that weirdly the past few days? Minho agreed with Jeongin, Felix's nervousness must indicate that he was lying, which meant that he probably knew they had an eighth. 

How in the world would he know that? The person either told him, or he was the person in question. 

Minho ruled the first option off because when he said the words thirteen years ago, Felix had gone pale as a ghost, which meant that it meant something to him.

Felix was really nice. Minho liked having him around, somehow, it felt right; he fit right in, like he was meant to be there. He fit in so easily, even easier than Jeongin did. 

And if Minho was being honest, Jeongin's whole issue wouldn't be an issue at all if Felix turned out to be their soulmate, would it? 

With how nervous he had been and how he had been clearly avoiding them the past few days, Minho did predict that Felix might try to convince them otherwise, even though he had no idea why he would do that. 

Felix had no problem getting along with them—it was admittedly a bit rocky with Hyunjin at first, but the two seemed to have resolved it long ago. Even more, he was the one who convinced Jeongin to give them a chance; he didn’t seem prejudiced towards them, either.

Minho could practically see hostility emitting from Jeongin from the very beginning, but that wasn't the case with Felix. If anything, he was trying to smooth things over between them; he was standing up for Jeongin, but he didn't dismiss them, either. 

Minho had no idea why Felix would deny being their soulmate when he wanted Jeongin to get along with them. 

He was nice and kind and sweet, and Minho enjoyed his company. Minho thought that Felix felt the same, too, at the very least. 

Minho had never seen so much blood in his life.

He had never seen much blood at all, if he was being honest. 

In a world where soulmates feel each other's pain, violence is deeply frowned upon. He was no Noble before he found his soulmates, but he was no Commoner, either. 

The higher the class, the safer the life. 

The absence of pain was a luxury. Sure, accidents happen, people stumble and fall, people get sick, he heard some people get nosebleeds—but that was the extent of it.

The worst pain the average person would experience in their life is probably the pain of childbirth.

Minho did hear that Commoners weren't as lucky, especially in the outermost Outlands like Duskwood. People would often resort to violence because there weren't as many guards around to keep everyone in check, but he had lived his whole life in the capital. 

They all lived their whole lives in the capital. 

He had been blessed to be born into a middle-class family. Granted, the life he had wasn't comparable to Hyunjin's or Seungmin's, but he was aware of the privileges he had.

He was a lot more privileged than the general population, he had learned this firsthand. 

Minho had never seen so much blood in his life, and so he was very calmly, panicking.

The fact that he didn't feel the pain he was supposed to feel when the blade met Felix's flesh just made things worse, because there was now a sense of wrongness deep in his chest. 

Was he reaching with his assumption? 

Was he seeing what was actually there, or what he wanted to see?

Sure, the only reason they welcomed Felix at first was because Jeongin demanded them to—he threatened them to, almost.

Somewhere along the line, though, that must’ve changed, because Minho realized that he wanted him here not because of Jeongin, but because of Felix himself. 

Before, having Felix around was nice because he helped keep Jeongin in check, the younger behaved well and was generally not hostile when he was in the room.

Now, having Felix around was nice because Minho genuinely liked him.

He liked having company in the early mornings, he liked sitting next to him as they both immersed themselves in their books.

He liked listening to Felix talk about the staff, telling him stories about the things they enjoy, about their families, or even about incidents in the kitchens. The staff was always too guarded around them even though Minho thought that they always treated them kindly, so it was nice to have an insight into their personalities—it helped remind him that they were people, too, with their own lives to live. 

He liked peeking into the room to quietly watch Jisung play the piano, Felix seated right beside him with a smile on his face, eyes closed as he enjoyed the music.

Jisung loved music, and he loved playing the piano, but most of the time he forgot to enjoy it thanks to his mother. His music sounded happy and relaxed whenever he played in front of Felix. 

“He thinks everything is amazing,” Jisung said with a fond smile when Minho asked him about it. “I could play the easiest piece and he’d still look at me with literal sparkles in his eyes—but it’s real, hyung. He genuinely thinks I’m doing something amazing, something that deserves praise.”

“You are,” Minho said as a matter of fact. 

Jisung just rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right,” he said. “It’s just easy, with him.”

Minho also liked how effortlessly he won over his cats.

It was seriously baffling, when he thought about it. They didn’t even like his lovers that much. Dori would still hiss at Changbin sometimes, when he tried to pet him. 

None of his cats were particularly snuggly, but whenever they spotted Felix, they would always approach him, either to get pets or to settle for a short nap in his laps. 

On some days, he would go as far as to say that they might like Felix better than they like him, but maybe that was just his imagination. He was definitely their favorite human, no doubt about it. 

Having Felix around felt so right that Minho forgot he wasn’t supposed to be there. He was just here to keep Jeongin company. 

Which meant that he was here… for now. 

The thought didn’t sit right with Minho. Something didn’t sit right with Minho. 

He just witnessed Felix hurt himself—sliced his palm open, coloring it crimson, and he didn’t feel any of it. 

Yes, he knew what that meant; but it still didn’t explain the other’s demeanor the other day, and it didn’t explain why he looked that way when Minho mentioned thirteen years ago. 

Minho didn’t feel his pain, so he wasn’t theirs, he knew that now, but there was something off about it.

“Hyung,” Seungmin’s quiet voice and a gentle touch on his arm brought him out of his spiraling thoughts. Minho’s eyes refocused then, he could see Seungmin’s concerned expression. There was a hint of worry there, like he wanted to make sure Minho was alright. 

Jisung picked that moment to burst back into the room, panting. “Noona’s on her way,” he announced. 

Minho felt the feeling of relief slowly seeping into his chest. That was good. Felix needed to be looked over. 

However, as soon as Jisung caught his breath, he spoke up, “Why would you do that?” he asked, and there was hurt in his voice. He was staring at Felix now, eyes intense. “Is the thought of being our soulmate so horrifying that you’re so eager to disprove it—that the first thought that came to your mind was oh, let me just stab myself real quick?”

Felix’s eyes widened in alarm, “No!” he disagreed fervently, pulling his arm out of Changbin’s grasp. His hands moved frantically as he jumped into an explanation. “That’s not it at all. Fates, you’re my friends, you’re all amazing, I—“ he sighed, eyes moving frantically like he was searching for the words to say. “Anyone—If I—I would be—“

His breath was picking up, and if it was any other circumstances, Minho would’ve intervened, but all he could do at that moment was watch—he felt dumbfounded, worried.

Maybe he felt a little hurt too, because was Jisung right? Was the thought of being their soulmate that horrifying to Felix? 

Taking a deep, stuttering breath, Felix continued, “I wasn’t thinking straight,” he muttered quietly. “I’m sorry. It’s just—it seemed like I’ve caused a misunderstanding, so I panicked, and I thought—“

“Thirteen years ago,” Minho cut him off. “That meant something to you,” he said. Why does it mean something to you? he didn’t ask. “What does it mean to you?”

Minho watched as Felix’s face went blank for a second before there was a blur of emotions flashing too fast for him to decipher. His mouth was open, like it was trying to form words, but nothing came out. 

Felix swallowed heavily like the next words were too painful to say out loud. 

“Thirteen years ago, my mom died,” he eventually said, voice quiet and unsteady, and suddenly Minho saw. 

Minho saw how he was holding himself, like he was afraid he was going to crumble anytime now, his bleeding palm staining his white shirt.

He saw how saying those words out loud was too much for him, but he said it with a smile on his face, forced and out of place, like he was trying to look alright. 

As if those words weren’t horrifying enough to hear—the sight of him desperately trying to act nonchalant, act like he was okay when he was clearly hurting was painful to watch. 

For a moment, nobody said anything. Minho wasn’t even sure if anyone was breathing. 

That couldn’t be right. 

Felix was bright and kind, he was cheerful and warm. How could someone like that go through so much? If Minho had to guess his upbringing, he would’ve thought the other lived a happy, sheltered life. He had the innocence of a child—he had warmth and kindness and trust, he seemed like the kind of person who had received all of them in abundance growing up. 

To have gone through something so devastating at such a young age… Minho couldn’t even imagine it. 

It was surprisingly—or perhaps not so surprisingly, Seungmin who had shot up from his seat, marched toward Felix and pulled him into a fierce, abrupt hug. 

Out of everyone there, it was probably Seungmin, who understood best; who related best to Felix. Him and Changbin, but Seungmin more than Changbin. 

After all, it was probably Seungmin’s biggest and darkest fear served on a silver platter. 

The death of a mother. 

Something that felt like guilt started building inside Minho, because he was the one who brought it up. 

He wouldn’t deny that there was still something in his mind, something that felt off—Felix’s nervousness the other day—but the guilt that was slowly building up had overcome it. 

Would that still matter when he could see the slight tremble of Seungmin’s shoulder as he held onto Felix tightly, muttering something under his breath that was too quiet for Minho to hear? 

Would that still matter when in response to whatever Seungmin said, Felix’s face contorted painfully like he was struggling not to cry? 

The answer was no, it didn’t. 

Not for now, at least. He had gotten his answer, Felix wasn’t their soulmate. 

Maybe there was an explanation to his nervousness, maybe he really knew something about their soulmate—although that felt unlikely; or maybe it was something harmless, something else entirely. 

He would ask Felix about it, but not now. 

Now, he would let the guilt wash over him.

Now, he would rise from his seat, joining the growing group hug despite Felix’s protests because he was going to get blood on their clothes. 

Now, he was going to mutter his sorry loud enough for Felix to hear—for making him think of something so hard and painful, for making him look so sad and vulnerable, because maybe Minho hated it. 

Minho hated it as much as he hated the times Chan pushed everyone away, burying himself in anything that could distract him, beating himself up for every little thing that went wrong in the palace or between them. 

He hated it as much as he hated seeing Changbin’s frustration get the better of him on tough days, particularly on the days his mother wasn’t doing well, or on the days one of them was at their lowest point. 

He hated it as much as he hated watching Hyunjin look at the mirror with so much loathing in his eyes, when he withdrew to his bedroom and refused to let anyone in and help him through his bad days. 

He hated it as much as he hated the way Jisung’s thoughts overwhelmed him, the echoes of his awful mother who always had something nasty to say to her son. 

He hated it as much as he hated the way Seungmin would lash out and overwork himself to death just to prove that he was worthy of something he had always been worthy of. 

He hated it as much as he hated the heartbreak in Jeongin’s eyes as he accepted his fate of being their soulmate like he was accepting a death sentence. 

Yeah. 

Maybe Minho hated the way Felix tried to blink the tears away despite the consuming sadness in his eyes just as much. 

 

---

 

Felix was relieved they’d allowed him to go to the city after the stunt he pulled earlier. 

Thinking back, maybe it wasn’t such a smart move, but they stopped asking if he was their soulmate, so that was definitely a win. A miracle. He had lied and managed to make them trust him. Minhyuk would be proud. 

After a lengthy lecture from the Court Healer about being careful around sharp objects, Felix was eager to get himself out of there because if he had to see their guilty, sad faces for one more minute he was going to lose his mind.

If anything, he was the guilty one because he lied. 

He knew that it was for the best, that he was lying for them, to protect them—but still. He even lied about his mom’s death. 

That had been a spur-of-the-moment kinda thing.

Minho asked him about thirteen years ago and Felix knew exactly what he meant. He couldn’t just say oh yeah, that was when I begged my uncle to break my soulbond which was really painful and not pleasant at all, you must’ve felt the initial pain before the bond broke from my side, didn’t you? Sorry, I wish you didn’t feel it but I couldn’t do anything about it… But don’t worry! You can’t feel any of my pain afterward, so all’s good! 

Yeah, right, that would defeat the whole point of the ritual, of the lies; so he latched onto the next thing he could think of, his mom. 

She did die, but she died a little over fourteen years ago, not thirteen. 

Saying it out loud had been really hard for him. It had been one of the hardest things he had done, but he did it. 

It was worth it, because it was to keep them safe. 

Now he was in the city. The sight of the bustling streets filled him with more comfort than usual. He watched them pass in a blur through the window of the carriage Hyunwoo had picked him up with. They were on their way to Seojun’s place. 

The thought of the upcoming conversation filled him with anxiety, but it was just the thing he desperately needed— a distraction. 

At this point, anything would be a welcome distraction.

He must’ve been too deep in his thoughts, because the next thing he knew, they had arrived.

Felix stared at the mansion in front of him. He wasn't gaping—because obviously, he had seen something bigger and grander like the literal palace, although he'd have to admit that he didn't expect this. 

"He's a Noble," he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else. Suddenly, he realized that maybe his new friends weren’t just normal people—not that he assumed anything, he didn’t think about their classes at all. Now, though, standing in front of the mansion, he had a feeling that if they were friends, they were probably from the same social class. ”You are, too, aren't you?" he turned to Hyunwoo, who just watched him warily. 

"Well," Hyunwoo began, averting his gaze; looking like he was starting to feel guilty. "What did you say about not judging people based on their status again?" 

Felix huffed as he gave him an exasperated look, "I'm not judging you. I just... didn't think that you guys are Nobles." 

He thought he was justified in that wrong conclusion, because he didn't think they dressed like Nobles did... right? In all honesty, Felix couldn't really tell. 

To him, everyone in the capital dressed well. To top that off, his first thought when meeting new people isn't exactly to judge what their status was through their clothing and demeanors—not that he thought he was particularly skilled in that. 

"I'll explain everything later," Hyunwoo promised. 

They went inside and were ushered to one of the rooms on the third floor. 

"They're here!" was the first thing he heard when they pushed the door open, and then he was greeted by Kyuseok's bright smile. "Welcome to the Conference Room!" 

Felix returned the gesture, his eyes taking in the room. Conference Room was probably the best way to describe it. The room was spacious and finely decorated. The walls were adorned with rich, dark wood paneling that reached up to The ceiling. There were chandeliers hanging, casting a warm, golden glow in the room. 

In the center of the room was a large, polished wooden table, surrounded by high-backed chairs. In one of the seats, sat Seojun, who looked like he was sporting a headache. 

Kyuseok came up behind Felix, gripping his shoulders, and began steering him towards a seat, chattering about how delighted he was that Felix had come. Felix took the seat and Kyuseok took the one right beside him. 

Hyunwoo took the one beside Seojun, right across from Felix. 

For a moment, no one said anything, but that didn't last long because Kyuseok soon broke the silence by clearing his throat suggestively. 

"Welcome, everyone! We're here to start our very first meeting with our newest recruit—“ 

"Why are you taking the lead?" came a protest from Seojun. 

Kyuseok pouted, "No one was saying anything, so—“

"We're gathering our thoughts," Seojun interjected, his expression pinched in frustration. “It’s—" 

“Well, why can't I take the lead?" Kyuseok challenged. 

“Because—we don't have a leader!" 

"Exactly! So anyone could—“ 

Felix watched them with mild amusement, because they kinda reminded him of himself and Wooyoung. 

They argued like this a lot, especially when Wooyoung was being unreasonable, or when he was being a traitor. 

One time, Felix had been late, and he didn't expect to run into Wooyoung just a block away from the inn.

"You're late," the older commented, tone disapproving. 

Felix threw his hands up, baffled, "You are, too," he pointed out, voice strained. 

"Don't try to change the subject," Wooyoung said sternly. 

"Change the—it’s the same subject, hyung! We're both late!" 

Another time, Felix was bracing himself in front of the inn; preparing himself mentally for the lecture that was sure to come, when he heard footsteps from behind him. 

He turned in time to see Wooyoung, who clearly just got back, too. 

His friend widened his eyes, and then—Felix wasn’t even joking about this—he jumped into a bush. Felix was about to call him out, but he didn't get to because the door flew open, revealing a very irked Mrs. Jung. 

She immediately ushered him inside and started lecturing him, not letting him say a peep in response. 

When she had just finished her lecture, huffing and muttering under her breath, Wooyoung came down the stairs. 

Felix could only gape at him, feeling absolutely betrayed. 

He later found out that Wooyoung totally used him as a distraction. He climbed into his room through the window, so Mrs. Jung didn't know that he had just arrived, too. 

Felix had never felt more betrayed in his whole life. He had been living an honest life, readily accepting the lectures when he knew he went past curfew, only for Wooyoung to do that. 

He shook his head mentally at the fond memory.

Now that he thought of it, Mrs. Jung and the rest of the villagers must be a lot stricter with the curfew nowadays, especially with what had been happening.

The thing that brought Felix back to the present wasn't anything audible, instead, it was a murderous aura coming from somewhere in the room. 

If Felix had to guess, both Kyuseok and Seojun must have felt it too, because their bickering came to an abrupt halt.

Felix watched as Hyunwoo took a deep, steadying breath. He felt like he had been seeing a different side of his new friend, he was always so relaxed and easygoing whenever he was with Felix but Kyuseok and Seojun seemed to have the knack for making him look like he was about to snap.

"Forget the sabotage on the royal family," he said, voice deadly serious. "I will sabotage your life if you don't stop acting like children," he said that calmly, but the threat sounded genuine.

Kyuseok actually gulped, while Seojun looked like he wanted to retort but decided against it. 

That was probably for the best.

Hyunwoo turned to Felix. There were still traces of annoyance on his face, but they were gradually fading. "First of all, I want to thank you for hearing us out," he said, and Felix nodded in response. "Honestly, I decided to try and recruit you into our cause primarily because of what you said to those men. It wasn't much, but it was enough for me. You don't despise the royal family, do you?”

"Despise?" Felix asked, mortified. "Of course not." 

Hyunwoo nodded like he expected his answer, a small smile gracing his features. "I wish I could tell you that your sentiment is not uncommon, but unfortunately that isn't the case. In recent years, public unrest towards the ruling classes, particularly the Royal Family, has been growing rapidly." 

"We started this whole thing a little over a year ago," Hyunwoo continued. "If I could guess, you didn't think we were Nobles because of the way we dressed, right? We've been dressing modestly on purpose when we're out and about, to blend in." 

"People are on guard when a Noble's around," Kyuseok chimed in. "But they don't really spare us a glance when we dress modestly!" 

Hyunwoo nodded, agreeing with his friend for once. "Unfortunately, the more we looked into this, the bleaker it all seemed. Wherever we go there's always a weird rumor about the Royals, there's always a passive-aggressive remark uttered. It's... beyond what we expected." 

"We've always known that they don’t have a stellar image, but not to this extent," Seojun added, frowning. "Even worse, the sentiment towards Nobles in general has been worsening the past few decades, the segregation is getting worse and worse." 

Felix mirrored Seojun’s expression. It couldn't be that bad, could it? 

Yeonjun said that the people he knew always had good things to say about the royal family, so what does that mean? Maybe his new friends just hadn't met the right people.

"When you said weird rumors," Felix spoke slowly as he tried to wrap his head around their words. "What do you mean?" 

Hyunwoo exchanged glances with Seojun. "The bad kind. You do remember what those two men said about the Prince?" he asked, and Felix nodded, lips pulled into a small frown at the reminder. "Things like that. People are saying that the Prince is a handful, that he and his Soulbond Heirs are wreaking havoc in the palace, spending day and night partying, that they don't give a shit about the Kingdom, the list goes on." 

“There are even rumors of them squandering the Kingdom's treasures, including the tax money, on whatever they please," Kyuseok added unhelpfully. 

"We've been trying to figure out where these rumors are coming from, but we haven't had much success," Seojun told Felix begrudgingly. 

"Even worse, people barely see the Prince and the Heirs," Kyuseok said, seemingly disappointed. 

"They're barely seen in public, which doesn’t help their case," Hyunwoo agreed. "But it's understandable, the King has been very protective of them ever since the Queen fell sick." 

"Too protective," Seojun grumbled quietly, but Felix heard it loud and clear. 

So that was why they barely go out? 

There was a lockdown recently, but Yeonjun did tell him that they go out occasionally for their royal duties. Now Felix thought that occasionally probably meant rarely. 

"So things will improve if they just, spend time in public, right? If they interacted more with the people?" Felix asked, hopeful. Maybe he could ask them about it. They're all really kind, Chan enjoyed chatting with the guards and Felix could see how much the stable hands liked Changbin; the whole staff is very fond and supportive of Seungmin. Felix hadn't seen Minho, Hyunjin, and Jisung interacting much with the staff, but he was sure that they treated them well, too. 

"It might help," Hyunwoo replied hesitantly, "But I don't think that would solve everything." 

The atmosphere of the room turned a little somber at that. 

"Why?" Felix asked, trying not to sound so disappointed. 

"It's not just the Commoners, although they’re definitely a big chunk of the problem," Hyunwoo said apologetically, sighing softly. "It's the other classes, too." 

That did not sound good. 

"The other classes?" he asked quietly, feeling kinda afraid of the answer.

"Mainly the Nobles, Gentry, and Sages," Hyunwoo replied. "We're not counting the Courtiers, they're practically impossible to crack. They would never say anything against the Royal Family they're serving, trying to figure out how they really feel about the Royal Family would just be a waste of time." 

That made Felix think, and they weren’t pleasant thoughts. 

If what they were saying was true, was there any merit to what his friends in the palace said about Seungmin? 

Felix hadn’t doubted it before; he knew—he felt that they were sincere in their words, but he'd be lying if what he just learned didn't make him hesitate. 

"The Sages might be few, but their support is important. Many of the King's advisors are Sages. It has been that way for as long as we know, Sages who are chosen would serve as the King's advisors during his reign," Hyunwoo explained. "Unfortunately, it seems like the Sages don't really think that the Prince and the Heirs are... particularly desirable to serve," he sighed. 

“Sages can’t serve consecutive terms, so the King’s advisors change every time someone inherits the crown. That’s why once the Heir to the Throne reaches adulthood, the Sages would submit Letters of Pledge, offering to devote themselves and serve under the next in line. We heard not more than five Sages have submitted their letters, which is unheard of. Normally, most Sages would have submitted their letters," Kyuseok said, frowning. "Of course, they won't all be chosen, but the Sages are nothing if not ambitious. Being the King's advisor is the most honorable position for a Sage." 

Felix was starting to feel a headache forming. 

"The Gentry primarily align themselves with the Nobles. They usually adopt the views of whichever Noble Family they're allied with," Hyunwoo said, brow furrowed in thought. “We're focusing on the Sages and Commoners for now, and that’s where you come in.”

“Me?”

“Well…” Hyunwoo paused in a moment of hesitation, choosing his words carefully. “Not that it matters to me but, you’re a Commoner, right?” 

“Yes?”

“We’re thinking of starting small,” Hyunwoo said. “The idea is that if one of the ways they’re sabotaging the Royals is by spreading horrid rumors about them, we can strike back the same way, too.”

“We can spread good rumors!” Kyuseok chimed in. 

“We’ve been trying to do just that, but well,” Hyunwoo sighed in defeat. “It hasn’t been going well.”

“Because he’s really bad at it,” Seojun pointed out to Felix. 

“I’m not bad at it!” Hyunwoo threw him a glare. 

“He’s bad at it,” Kyuseok agreed, “But it’s not entirely his fault.”

“I’m not—“ Hyunwoo started, but decided against it. He sighed, “Whenever I start a conversation about them, I can barely get a word in because people already have their own things to say, negative things. When I tried saying something positive after that, they’d just start narrowing their eyes like they found me suspicious or something.”

“That’s why he was really ecstatic when he first told us about you,” Seojun said. “Acted like he just met the fates themselves, or something. He gushed like a teenage girl.”

Kyuseok barked out a hearty laugh. 

“Seojun-ah…” Hyunwoo turned to him. There was a smile on his face, but it seemed forced; Felix could see his eyebrows twitching. 

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

“You did the thing he had been trying to do for so long!” Kyuseok cheered despite the hot glare his friends were exchanging, clapping Felix’s back. “Now our hopeless quest has a newfound hope, you!”

“It wasn’t hopeless,” Hyunwoo grumbled. “It was just taking longer than anticipated—“

“It was hopeless,” Seojun said flatly. “You’re hopeless.”

Hyunwoo huffed, offended. “If I was so bad at it, then why don’t you try it yourself, you—“

“I never claimed I have the ability to befriend and influence—“

“You don’t have the ability to befriend anyone, period—“

“This is why it wasn’t working,” Kyuseok told Felix, voice low like he didn’t want them to hear him. “Seojunnie is hopeless because he’s as friendly as a wild boar, and Hyunnie can be a little too intense. He gets all irritated when he loses an argument,” he said, tone conspiratorial, making Felix snicker. 

“What about you?” 

“I’m, uh,” Kyuseok started, face sheepish. “Let’s just say I get distracted a little too easily.”

“He has no tact whatsoever,” Seojun said bluntly. 

“Hey, I have plenty of tact—“

“Yeah, like how you just blurted out about the ploy against the Royals in a public place without providing the necessary context or checking if the area is clear?”

“Hyunnie said he’s safe, I don’t see why—“

“Fates, shut up,” Hyunwoo snapped. “The point is, it didn’t work. None of us managed to start a positive, or semi-positive rumor about the Royal Family, and we’re nowhere closer to figuring out who exactly is behind all of this.” 

Felix gave him a smile that looked more like a grimace. “And you think… I can do it?”

Hyunwoo shrugged, “You already did. Well, you didn’t start any rumor or anything—but you defended the Royal Family and they actually listened.” 

“I was just being honest,” Felix retorted quietly.

“Even better,” Hyunwoo replied. “Maybe that’s why it worked, because you were sincere,” he added thoughtfully. 

Felix paused at the words, “You’re… not?” he asked, confused. “You must think they’re good, right, the Royal Family? That’s why you’re trying to help them, to stop the sabotage from growing into something more?”

There was an uncomfortable silence that stretched around the table. The three exchanged glances, expressions hesitant.

“Well… I mean, I don’t think they’re bad,” Hyunwoo said like he was trying to convince himself.  

“…You don’t sound too sure,” Felix pointed out, sighing softly. 

“We don’t really… know the Royal Family,” Hyunwoo said carefully. “I mean, we came from Noble Families so we’ve met them before, yes, but we barely know them.”

“The King’s nice,” Kyuseok added, sounding confident and hopeful. 

“The King is nice,” Hyunwoo agreed. 

“But he’s also distracted,” Seojun said unhelpfully, earning himself a glare from Hyunwoo. 

“Which is again, understandable because his soulmate, the Queen, has been ill for years and they’ve yet to find a cure for her,” Hyunwoo defended. 

“Prince Seunggi and his family seem… alright,” Kyuseok said, but this time there was clearly hesitation in his voice. 

Neither Seojun nor Hyunwoo commented on that. 

“On the other hand, Prince Seungmin and his Soulbond Heirs are barely ever seen in public, in council meetings and banquets,” Hyunwoo continued, shaking his head slightly like he was disappointed. “Anyway, if you agree to join, we’ll start small. It should be simple, you can start with the people you already know, your friends, or something. We can start spreading positive rumors about the Royals to combat the negative ones. We’ll work out a plan for the Sages together in the meantime. You don’t happen to be acquainted or friends with a Sage, do you?”

In all honesty, this was pretty overwhelming for Felix—he needed some time to think, to process the things he had been told. He shook his head in negative.

“Alright, that’s okay. We’ll figure something out,” Hyunwoo said reassuringly. 

Felix was glad that there were people like them, people who wanted to help. However, he would be lying if he pretended that this all didn’t feel too big for the four of them.

“What about the others?” Felix asked, a small frown on his face. “The Nobles and Gentry?”

Felix wasn’t sure if it was only his imagination, but he felt like the room temperature dropped at his question. 

”We’re putting the Nobles and Gentry last,” Seojun answered this time. 

"Why?" Felix found himself asking. If they were Nobles themselves, wouldn't it be easier to start with those? 

The answer didn’t come immediately, but Felix had a feeling that he wouldn’t like it, whatever it was. 

He could almost feel the air getting thicker by the second. 

"Because we don't know who to trust," Hyunwoo said, face hard. "There are people, Nobles, plotting against the Royal Family. We think whoever’s starting those rumors must be working with them.”

Felix swallowed heavily. "Why... How do you know?" 

Hyunwoo took a moment before he answered. “We know because I overheard their conversation," he admitted, voice grim. "I witnessed the exchange with my own eyes."

 

---

 

Hyunjin felt like he was being played. 

He had been feeling betrayed and confused after that disconcerting conversation with Felix earlier today. 

When Minho asked him if he was their soulmate, Hyunjin had to admit that he was probably a little too hopeful, a little too expectant of the answer. Not because of anything, but if he really was their soulmate, then whatever weird thing going on between them; the weird nightmare-detecting thing he had mysteriously developed could’ve been explained. 

Well, not entirely, because he didn’t even have that ability when it comes to the others, but at least he could somehow wrap his head around it—they’re soulmates, and maybe because they both seemed like the ones with frequent nightmares, the fates felt bad for them and gave him that ability or something. 

Now that he thought of it, could Felix sense his nightmares, too? He had no idea. 

But Felix wasn’t their soulmate, so what the heck was going on with them? 

Why couldn’t he just be their soulmate? 

If he was, Hyunjin could finally tell everyone about this weird phenomenon without sounding too crazy, since no one in the world completely understood soulbonds—some soulbonds were unique, he once heard that there was a pair who shared their sense of taste on top of the normal pain-sharing bond. 

He even heard a rumor of a pair who shared their memories, of all things. That one sounded like a stretch, maybe that one was nothing more than a made-up rumor. 

That night, he fell into a restless slumber before the nothingness in front of him turned into a familiar scenery, the hauntingly beautiful scenery he always dreaded. 

He needed to find it. 

The air was thick with something he couldn’t place, something mysterious, making every step uncertain.

Helplessly and desperately, Hyunjin pushed himself forward, breathing heavily. The words consumed his mind like a broken record;

Find it. Find it. Quick. 

He needed to find it before it was too late. 

Hyunjin ran and ran, the sound of his steps echoing through the night, his eyes constantly searching his surroundings.

The moon shone brightly overhead, casting an ethereal glow on the ground. The sky was filled with stars as usual, shooting stars streaking across the night sky with their bright and beautiful trail, but Hyunjin didn’t have the time to look at them, he had no time to lose. 

He needed to find it, whatever it was. He was running out of time.

He needed to be faster. 

What was it again, the thing he needed to find?

Hyunjin came to an abrupt stop, panting heavily. The scenery in front of him was so beautiful and serene that he felt like screaming, because there was nothing serene about the predicament he was in. The grass was adorned with moonlit flowers that seemed to glow with an otherworldly light, the beauty tormenting him out of his mind. 

He was going to be too late, he thought, and he could feel the familiar warmth in his eyes—the sting of tears threatening to spill, because everything seemed so big and overwhelming he had no idea what to do.

Where was it? 

How could he find it? 

What was it? 

His mind spun with confusion and frustration. 

Suddenly, everything felt too much. The wind started blowing harshly, his hair flying all over his face, and that just made everything worse. 

The sound of the wind roaring in his ears, the sound of the grass rustling was too much to bear—he clamped his hands on his ears and squeezed his eyes shut, willing everything to stop, willing something, someone to help; begging for something, anything. 

And then suddenly, a figure materialized in his mind.

A silhouette.

In his surprise, his eyes flew open, and there it was. The shadowy silhouette, standing in the distance.

Breath caught in his throat, Hyunjin remembered. 

Someone. 

He was supposed to find someone. It wasn’t a thing, it was a person. 

His heart raced, and his breath hitched as he cried out, “Hey!"

Before he realized, he was already moving, rushing towards the figure—desperately trying to reach them. 

The figure came into clearer focus, and a sense of recognition tugged at the edges of his thought; like they were someone he knew, but he couldn't quite place who.

The figure stood still, seemingly oblivious.

“Hey!” Hyunjin cried out one more time as loud as he could, voice cracking. His throat hurt at the volume, but he couldn’t care less. 

The wind started blowing even stronger, swallowing his voice.

Hyunjin called out again, he called out over and over again, he was practically shouting at this point—but the figure remained unmoving, their back turned toward him.

He ran as fast as his feet could take him, but no matter how much he ran, and how fast he moved, the distance between the figure and him never seemed to change. 

The figure remained there, in the distance, close enough to see but never close enough to reach.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake.

Hyunjin stumbled to a stop in surprise.

It was slight at first, but the next thing he knew, the shaking intensified, and he was struggling to stand up.

Soon enough, it knocked him off balance and sent him sprawling to the ground. His eyes desperately searched for the figure, who was struggling to keep himself upward, too. 

And then Hyunjin watched.

He watched it happen in slow motion, how the ground cracked and shattered closer to the figure, and a terrible realization hit him. Hyunjin watched as the ground beneath him gave way, and he plummeted into the abyss. 

Hyunjin watched him fall as the scream died in his throat, as he desperately tried to get back up so that he could reach him, to pull him up, but it was too late. 

He was too late.

No!

He woke up in a startle, feeling disoriented and almost falling off the bed. His heart was pounding in his chest, and the air felt stifling. 

Frantically, he got off the bed, stumbling in the darkness, and then he was running. 

He was too late. 

The next thing he knew, he was holding onto something. He was holding onto something desperately, his whole body trembling and the heaviness in his chest constricting it was too much to bear.

And then suddenly, Hyunjin realized that he wasn’t holding onto something, he was holding onto someone. 

Felix. 

He must be losing his mind. The rational part of his mind was screaming at him to step back, to let go, because surely, he was freaking Felix out. 

They weren't soulmates; this closeness felt wrong, a violation of personal boundaries.

Felix wasn’t his soulmate, he had proven that already, so why did this feel right? 

Why did Hyunjin find it hard to let go, why was his whole body refusing to let go? 

He was losing his mind. This wasn’t right. He had to leave. 

The thought disappeared as soon as it appeared, because Felix shifted, and then Hyunjin could feel his arms around him. 

“It’s okay,” he muttered in that stupidly charming voice of his. “You’re okay.”

Fuck, Hyunjin swore mentally, because he was most definitely not. 

At this point, it wouldn’t surprise Hyunjin if anyone told him that his body had a mind of its own, because despite the voice of reason in his mind, Hyunjin felt himself pressing closer to the other.

There were casual hugs, hugs shared with friends—not that Hyunjin had any of those to begin with—and then there were not-so-casual hugs; there were embraces. 

Those were intimate, those were so much more.

Those were the kind of thing he only shared with his soulmates, his lovers.  

But here he was, clinging onto Felix like he was afraid he was going to disappear into thin air. 

Where did that come from? Why was he afraid of that? 

Hyunjin couldn’t wrap his head around whatever was happening, but he was shaking and gasping for breath, and Felix was there. 

He had to get a grip. 

He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing as he tried to talk himself through it. 

He just had a nightmare. That was it. It was just a nightmare. It had slipped away from him in his panic, he could barely remember anything other than the usual—that he was somewhere beautiful, and that he needed to find something.

He had to get a grip and start acting like the adult he was; he had to stop freaking out because of a stupid dream. 

It took a while, for Hyunjin to calm down. 

To his credit, Felix didn’t push him away. If he did, Hyunjin would probably avoid him for the rest of his life out of shame.

But Felix was kind, he knew this. 

He knew this because everyone had told him about it. He knew this because he had watched him, talked to him, and spent time during ungodly hours with him. 

When he had finally calmed down enough to think rationally, he abruptly stepped back, breaking away from the hug, and averting his gaze, turning away from him. 

Hyunjin felt shame wash over him, because he didn’t just do that, did he? 

Losing his composure wasn’t the problem; that had happened multiple times already. His nightmares had chased him out of bed to the courtyard before. 

Felix had stayed with him before. He had offered the comfort of  his company as Hyunjin struggled to calm his breathing, as he watched his hands shake pathetically. 

The problem was he had practically thrown himself at Felix, that he had clung to him shamelessly. 

“Your Highness,” Felix’s concerned voice drew his attention, and Hyunjin turned to look at him in reflex. Felix’s brow was furrowed in worry. He was looking at Hyunjin like he wanted to make sure he was alright. 

“I’m…” Hyunjin started, voice a little hoarse. “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Felix just stared at him blankly before he blinked slowly, face twisted in confusion. He shook his head gently, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Hyunjin swallowed heavily. 

If you’re not our soulmate, what are we? he wanted to ask. 

What’s going on? he wanted to ask, but the questions sounded stupid in his head, because how should Felix know? What if it was just Hyunjin all this time? 

He couldn’t ask those questions, so instead, he asked, “You were nervous that day. Why were you nervous?”

The question definitely caught Felix off-guard, because Hyunjin could see the surprise on his face, his entire body became impossibly still. 

Hyunjin didn’t even know what he was thinking, he was probably not thinking at all, at this point. But even after the revelation, after he saw with his own eyes how Felix got hurt; the absence of pain mocking him just like how his parents liked to do, there was still something that was bugging him; namely Felix’s reaction when Jeongin told him about their eighth. 

Why did he react that way? Was he lying? He was clearly nervous at the very least, why was he nervous? 

“I…” Felix started, “I was nervous about the check-up. It’s—I’ve never done that before, being checked by a healer.”

Hyunjin blinked. And then he blinked again. 

“But that was after,” he pointed out, there was a hint of desperation in his voice, and he didn’t want to think about where it came from. “You were already done with the check-up.”

Felix’s mouth opened and closed without making a sound.

Despite the ache deep in his chest, like a warning sign, flaring like it was telling Hyunjin that something wasn’t right, he held his gaze steady. He watched as Felix’s eyes darted around frantically, almost like he was searching for an escape. 

Hyunjin was about to say something, but Felix spoke before he was able to.

“Could you keep a secret?” 

“A secret?” Hyunjin repeated slowly as he tried to wrap his mind around Felix’s words. 

“I was—“ Felix trailed off, sighing. There was a slight tremble in his voice. “The Court Mage.”

That was not something Hyunjin expected. 

“The Court Mage?” he repeated dumbly, because what did the Court Mage have to do with this?

“She… Right after the check-up, after the Court Healer left the room, she told me to meet her at the Guild on Friday,” Felix admitted without catching his eyes. 

Hyunjin frowned, “Meet? Why? What for?”

“I don’t know,” Felix confessed. “That’s why I was—I was nervous. I have no idea what she wants, did I do something wrong? No matter how much I think of it, I couldn’t find the answer,” he stammered. 

Hyunjin blinked owlishly, confused but also taken aback by the revelation. “So you were nervous because… the Court Mage asked you to meet her at the Guild without providing any context?” 

Felix finally caught his eyes. He nodded hesitantly. 

Hyunjin wasn’t sure whether to trust him or not. On one side, it made sense, but he couldn’t seem to accept that it was all.

“And you want me to keep this a secret because…?” 

“I want to see what this is about by myself,” Felix said quickly. “If you told anyone about it, I… they would probably summon her? Question her before I could do that?”

Well, that was exactly what Hyunjin was thinking of doing. 

What could the Court Mage possibly want with Felix, anyway? 

He wanted to know, and he was sure that the others would share the same sentiment. What better way to do that than to summon her and ask her directly? 

“The Court Mage is a good person, right?” Felix asked warily, interrupting Hyunjin’s train of thought. 

“Uh… sure,” was Hyunjin’s unconvincing reply. “I don’t know her that well, to be honest. We barely ever talked, but everyone who works for the Royal Family has to be decent in general.”

Felix nodded. The nervousness was gone now, “Okay,” he said. “Friday is tomorrow—or, well, today. I’m planning to go meet her after lunch, to see what this is about. Could you keep it a secret for now, please? I’ll tell you all about it afterward—we can tell the others.”

Hyunjin paused for a second before answering. He supposed there would be no harm in that, “Alright,” he agreed. 

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Felix said, a small but genuine smile gracing his face. 

“Hyunjin,” Hyunjin corrected, because to his dismay, Felix would still refer to both him and Chan that way sometimes. 

“Hyunjin,” Felix repeated, his smile growing slightly brighter. 

Despite the growing ache in his chest, the silent voice urgently ringing in his mind like it was trying to tell him that something wasn’t right, Hyunjin returned the gesture.

He wasn’t their soulmate. 

Once again, the statement started taunting him like his nightmare.  

 

---

 

Felix was officially overwhelmed. Sure, he used to long for adventures, he longed to go into the world and experience all kinds of different things, but not this way. 

There were so many things happening he felt like he was going to explode from confusion and anxiety. 

First, there was the whole soulmate thing which almost ended his decade-long efforts in vain. As if that wasn't enough, there was the rotting, and now, the very real threat of sabotage backed by Nobles that could evolve into a coup—and that wasn’t all. 

There was also the Court Mage, who mysteriously asked him to meet her at the Guild. Felix couldn't imagine what she'd want with him, but he couldn't help to think that it wouldn't be anything good, or anything unimportant. 

After all, she was the literal Court Mage, and Felix was a nameless nobody, just a friend of the newly discovered heir. 

Oh, and he almost forgot, Hayeon wanted him to trust the Court Mage and the Grandmaster of the Guild of Magic with his sight; it didn't matter that Felix had only met the Court Mage twice, and that he had never even met the Grandmaster. 

He trusted Hayeon, though, and she insisted that they were trustworthy. 

She wanted him to tell them because they were key figures in the magical community, and they were very much involved in the investigation of the rotting. She reminded him of how useful his sight was, and if he worked with them, they might just find the solution to the rotting—they could test all kinds of things and rely on Felix's sight to see how the rotting reacts to them.

Logically, she made sense, but he couldn't help but feel dread. 

What if they decided to pluck his eyes out or something? What if they told other people? Hayeon suggested asking them to do a magical oath, but Felix didn't like the idea of it.

Sighing mentally for the hundredth time as he made his way to the guild, he decided that he'd wait and see. First, he wanted to know what the Court Mage’s intention was with him, and then he'd decide from there. Maybe he'd ask Taehyun about her and the Grandmaster, as well. 

Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. 

He had to be careful with Sorcerers and Magicians. After all, his bloodline was cursed by one. 

Taking a last, calming breath to calm his nerves, he pushed the door open and walked into the guild. As usual, it was pretty crowded. Magic swirled in the air, brightening the space with hues of different shades of colors. 

Most of the mages seemed to be engaged in conversation, but Felix could feel some of their eyes on his back. The further he walked into the guild, the more exceedingly aware he was of them. He was probably just overthinking it, though, because it was his first time coming here alone.

Felix made his way to the counter, where the familiar face of Tzuyu greeted him. 

"Hi," she greeted him with a small smile. "You're here for Momo unnie, right? She's not here yet, but you can wait inside. The Grandmaster wants to meet you," she told him before she got out from behind the counter, gesturing for him to follow her. 

The Grandmaster wants to see him? Why? Was this about his discussion with Hayeon, or was it something else entirely?

Drat. Felix should've asked Taehyun to come with him, or something, at least he wouldn't be anxious alone. Despite the growing anxiety inside, he followed Tzuyu to the second floor, down the corridor. The walls were adorned with tapestries That looked older than himself. 

His footsteps felt heavy against the polished, ornate wooden floor—his heart racing in a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. The prospect of meeting the Grandmaster had him second-guessing himself; maybe he should’ve said no to the Court Mage, maybe he shouldn’t have come to the guild all by himself. 

They stopped in front of a door, and Tzuyu knocked. "Unnie, he's here." 

"Come in!" came the reply from inside. 

Instead of pushing the door open, Tzuyu turned to him. She gave him a nod and then left. 

For a moment, Felix just stared at the door dumbly. 

There was magic seeping out the doorframe, a protective spell or charm, if he had to guess. He could hear murmurs from the inside, but he could barely hear the words. 

Before he reached out to the door, it swung open, revealing a young woman and an... old lady? 

The woman flashed him an apologetic smile, she had her arm around the old lady, "Hi, Felix, right? I'm Nayeon, the current Grandmaster of the guild," she said, extending her free hand. 

Felix took it, flashing her a nervous smile of his own, "Hi, yes," he replied. "It's an honor to meet you, Ma’am."

"Oh, there's no need to be so formal. Momo will be here soon, you can go ahead and wait in my office, alright? Ah, this is Mrs. Jeon, everyone calls her Granna. She’s my Master, everything I know, I learned from her. Sorry, she’s actually not supposed to be here—I was just gonna get her back to her room, why don't you wait inside while I do that, and then we can talk?" 

If Felix had a choice, he would very much not like to talk, but at this point, it would be weird and rude to say anything but yes, so he nodded mutely. 

"Who is that, Nayeonie?" Granna wondered out loud. 

It was then Felix realized that there was something different with her. Something different with her eyes. 

It looked dull, clouded. 

"That's Momo's guest, Master," Nayeon explained patiently, voice a little loud. "I told you about it a few days ago, remember? He's here to see Momo." 

"Did you?" Granna asked. "I could've sworn you didn't. Well, doesn't matter now, why don't you introduce me to him?" she said, her arms reaching into the air in front of her, which confused Felix. 

"Granna, this is Felix," Nayeon said, voice loud, turning to face him with that apologetic smile again. "Felix, this is Granna," she repeated even though she said that already, maintaining the same volume before she spoke a little quietly. "Granna is blind and her hearing is not the best nowadays, so if you don't mind, could you please greet her a bit loudly?" 

Ah. That's why. 

Felix nodded before he cleared his throat, "Hello, Ma’am," he greeted, his voice a little louder than normal, keeping her tone respectful. "It's an honor to meet you." 

Granna's searching hands shifted in the direction of his voice. He looked at Nayeon in question, but the Grandmaster just nodded encouragingly. 

Granna's hands finally found him, grasping on his shirt before she found his forearms. 

Felix wondered what she was trying to do, he was just going to ask Nayeon quietly, but he didn't get to because suddenly, Granna froze. Her wrinkled hand gripped Felix's arm firmly, her unseeing eyes searching.

"Oh," she spoke, her hands searching once more until they found Felix's. "Oh, blessed be this day." 

Felix, for one, just stared at her dumbly, his eyes shifting to Nayeon, perfectly confused. Nayeon looked just as confused, but Felix thought he could see a hint of wariness and anticipation. 

"I have waited for this day my whole life," she said, bringing his hand close to her. Her eyes were boring into his, even though she couldn't see. "I have wondered if it will ever come in my lifetime." 

Felix was frowning, because things just went from confusing to extremely confusing. He wanted to say something smart like uh, but somehow, the moment felt important, significant. It felt like he was supposed to be quiet and listen. 

"Come closer, young man," Granna said. In Felix's opinion, he was very close to her already, but he didn’t say that out loud. She let go of his hand, hands flitting up and searching. "Let me look at you." 

Despite his bewilderment, Felix stepped closer, lowering himself like he was enchanted by the moment—and her hands found his face. 

She was trying to see him through her touch, he realized. 

He could feel the warmth of her hands, cradling his face, her unseeing eyes boring into him like she could see into his soul. "Listen well," she said, quietly but firmly. "What was ruined by man's hands must be restored by man's hands. Venture deep, and uproot them; here and nowhere. Find the anchor, the very first. Do you understand, Felix?" she asked, a sense of urgency seeping into her voice. 

Felix would like to state that he did not understand, thank you very much, but he found himself staring at her mutely. He couldn't say anything out loud, because his heart was hammering in his chest. 

Her words were consuming him, like for a moment, everything else didn't matter. 

Like for a moment, he lived to hear those words. 

It felt monumental, but it also felt crazy, because Felix couldn't understand anything. 

"Two anchors, the living and the dead. You need both. Remember, what was ruined with man's hands must be restored by man's hands," she said.

For a moment, Felix thought that she was going to say something else, maybe explain what the heck she meant, but her whole body relaxed and she dropped her hands. Her face went blank, and the urgency and desperation in her face went away like it had never been there from the very beginning. 

"Nayeonie?" she called, sounding confused. She moved her hands, searching, and Nayeon, seemingly in a daze, reached out to her. A small smile bloomed on Granna's face the moment she felt Nayeon's touch. "There you are. What's for dinner?" 

Nayeon paused for a moment before she blinked owlishly. Straightening herself, she turned to Felix. "Wait here," she told him, and then she started gently guiding Granna away, murmuring whispers of reassurance to her. 

Felix just stood there blankly as he watched their retreating backs. Even when they disappeared to another room, he stayed unmoving, staring blankly into the air as if he could find the explanation for whatever just happened there. 

He didn't find anything. 

When Nayeon was back, she was back alone. Felix caught her eyes in his daze, and he could see that something had changed in the way she regarded him. 

"Come on in," she spoke, her face composed and serious. "We need to talk."

 

---

 

“I’m going,” Minhyuk said, voice determined. But then he faltered, he hesitated, “Would that be okay, Mother?”

“Of course it is,” his mother offered a reassuring smile. “Don’t you worry about the Committee, I’ll talk to your father.”

“No,” Minhyuk interjected quickly. “I’ll be back before Saturday, I’ll be back in time for the next meeting. I promise.”

His mother reached out and tenderly cupped his face, her expression filled with affection. “You worry too much,” she said firmly. “Go and take all the time you need. Bring him back if you can, you’ve been too miserable without him.”

Minhyuk made an affronted noise. “I haven’t been miserable.”

Mrs. Lee responded with a knowing smile, “Don’t lie to your mother, Minhyuk-ah,” she said. “It’s pointless.”

Exasperated, Minhyuk sighed and opted for silence, unable to counter her observation. 

He was going to the capital.

Minhyuk hoped Felix hadn’t been lying, he hoped that they  really had been treating him well. He was finally going to meet Jeongin’s mysterious soulmate. He prayed it wasn’t one of the Twelve.

Not that it mattered. 

If push came to shove, he would do everything in his power to get Felix out of there, and as an extension, Jeongin too—if he let him.

Minhyuk closed his eyes for a moment, gathering himself. He needed to be prepared. 

Notes:

if anyone’s wondering why chan and jeongin were completely silent in that first part it’s because they were both too busy having a mental breakdown lol

as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (unless i finish early, or late). hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 26: Drowning

If Felix wasn’t as nervous and confused as he was, he’d have taken the time to appreciate the Grandmaster’s office.

The air tasted like wisdom and magic, the walls were adorned by intricately carved wooden panels. There were bookshelves filled with thick books, tomes, and scrolls that reached up to the ceiling of the room. 

Near the window was a mahogany desk that was neatly organized. Felix could see scrolls, parchments, and an assortment of things he had never seen in his life, that had magic on them. The Grandmaster urged him to take a seat as she settled into her chair behind the desk.

Felix settled into the seat across from the Grandmaster as he tried to swallow his nervousness. 

He could feel the weight of her gaze on him, so he decided to just stare at his lap or something because what was he gonna do, stare back at her and challenge her to a who-can-not-blink-the-longest challenge? 

Before either of them could say anything, a knock echoed through the room. 

The door swung open even before the Grandmaster said anything, revealing the Court Mage behind it. 

Great, just what Felix needed. Now he could have two people scrutinizing him like he was a unicorn shown at a festival or something. 

"You're here," The Grandmaster said, acknowledging the mage’s arrival. 

Returning his attention to his lap, Felix could hear the door closing and the footsteps of the Court Mage approaching. Before long, she was standing next to the Grandmaster. 

"Sorry I'm late," he heard her say. She didn’t take the seat beside him, instead, she remained standing next to the Grandmaster, right across from him.

An awkward silence enveloped the Grandmaster's office, the air was starting to feel stifling. 

Felix thought that she asked him to come so that they could have a conversation, but apparently he was wrong, because they both said nothing. Instead, he could feel their sharp eyes on him, scrutinizing him.

Just when the silence was becoming too much, the Court Mage spoke up, “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, face completely serious.

Felix looked up and turned to stare at her blankly.

Sorry… what? He almost said.  

The Grandmaster immediately elbowed her, which by the speed of it, seemed more like a reflex than something she was doing consciously. “That’s not how you—sorry, she meant—,” she sighed before she turned to the Court Mage. “Momo-yah, we’ve talked about this. You need to explain from the beginning. Don’t look at me like that, you’re going to explain, not me,” she said firmly, but Felix could spot a soft look in her eyes. 

The Court Mage looked disappointed, but then she straightened herself. Her eyes were back on him. She had round eyes, but for some reason, whenever she looked at him he felt like those eyes were sharper than a knife. It took him everything not to squirm. 

He wasn’t sure why, but he felt uneasy whenever her eyes were on him.

The Court Mage took a slow, calming breath. Was she… nervous? 

Almost unconsciously, Felix mirrored her action, because if she was nervous he was at least twice as nervous, if not more. 

“I worked hard to be where I am now. I worked really, really hard, but that’s not the only reason I succeeded,” she started. Felix wondered what that had got to do with him, but he listened. She took another deep breath before continuing, “I’m also… blessed. By the fates.”

Her words hung uncomfortably in the air, like a fragile thread that was about to snap. 

Her eyes bored into Felix’s so intensely he could almost feel a phantom sensation, like they were burning a hole into his very soul.

“I could see things people couldn’t,” the Court Mage continued, voice soft and quiet, but to Felix it felt like her voice was thundering, forcefully barging into his ears, like a declaration. “I can see people’s life force, and I’ve never seen one like yours.”

Felix didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this. 

He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to feel about it. On one side, she didn’t seem to know about his soulbond, which was the one thing he was terrified about, so he was relieved. On the other side, she could apparently see life forces, and something was wrong with his. What did that mean?

Shifting incessantly in his seat, he gathered the courage to ask, “Why? What’s wrong with mine?” 

If Felix was being completely honest, he didn’t really want to know. He was gonna die, anyway. Why would it matter if his life force was doing weird things?

"It's..." the Court Mage trailed off for a moment, searching for the right words. "It's unstable. It's pulsing—flickering wildly? Like a light that's dying, but then it grows stronger again before it dies completely, and it does that constantly, even as I speak." 

Felix heard her words but struggled to grasp their meaning. Or maybe her words just didn’t make much sense to him. He knew next to nothing about life forces, after all. 

"I've never seen anything like this. When someone's ill, their life force appears weaker, slightly dimmer. There might be a faint ripple where their body is most affected, which helps me identify what's wrong with them; the source of the problem, if you will. When someone's dying, their life force grows weaker very quickly until it's completely extinguished, but yours…” she said, emphasizing that last word. Her eyes were on him, but not really. They were on something around him. "Yours grows dim rapidly, and just before it's about to vanish, there's a pulse, or a surge, and then it grows bright and strong, and the cycle repeats." 

Felix felt a stab of anxiety in his gut. Whatever she was saying didn’t sound good, but even he had no idea what that meant.

"So, you're not okay, and I think you know it. Something's wrong with you. What's wrong with you?" she repeated, the tone of her voice growing increasingly urgent with each sentence, her eyes searching. 

Well.

That was a little too general, because there were a lot of things in his life that was far from ideal, although Felix never thought that something was particularly wrong with himself. 

The Court Mage appeared increasingly bewildered as she paced back and forth. “It doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense," she muttered. "I don't understand how you could be standing right now. I've never seen anything like this, but if there's anyone that your case reminds me of, it's the Queen. But even then—even then it's different. Hers doesn't flicker. Her life force is just... it mysteriously starts weakening every few weeks, just as it grows strong enough. It never grew as dim as yours, wait, not that it's ever as bright as yours, I mean, hers is generally dimmer than other people’s and it has been growing dimmer throughout the years but... Huh, does that—it’s almost as if this is—“ 

"Momo-yah," the Grandmaster interrupted, her hand on the mage's elbow. "You're rambling.”

Momo muttered a quick apology, but then the next second, her eyes were back on him, stepping closer.

Her sudden proximity to him made him feel like he needed to run away, to escape. Anywhere was better than here. 

"You're not okay," Momo repeated, and it's getting harder for Felix to think straight. "Hayeon sunbae doesn't seem to know anything about it, the potions she brought you were just one of those standard pain-relief potions. Mr. Yang mentioned that you have headaches, but is it really just that? You lied, didn't you? Is it for this? Are you in pain?" 

There were a lot of things Felix was afraid of. 

Being alone, his memories, losing the people he loves, the list went on and on—but there was something that just made the list. Being called out in his lies. That had got to be one of the most terrifying things in the world, something that had been happening too often than he'd like, recently. 

He wouldn't have minded it if it was harmless, but his lies had weight. The things at stake weren't just, normal unimportant things people tried to protect when they were lying, the things at stake were his soulmates’ lives. 

And of course his luck had to be like this, of course the Court Mage couldn't just be a normal mage who sees normal things, no, she had to be able to see life forces. Felix had no idea why his life force was doing whatever it was doing, but she called his potions-lie out, and those potions were for his broken soulbonds, which was the secret he had to take to his grave, so he needed to think fast. 

He could do this. He fooled the others, he could definitely fool her. Maybe. 

The greatest lies are rooted in truth, he repeated in his mind like a mantra. 

"Felix?" 

"My family is cursed," Felix blurted out. His words hung uncomfortably in the room, and for a moment, no one said anything. 

"Your family is cursed?" Nayeon repeated. "By whom?”

Wasn't that a good question? Felix had no idea who—well, he did, but not specifically. By a mage sounded like a stupidly vague answer, but that was the only thing he knew. He doubted his mom knew, and if she didn't, then there was no way his uncle did because he only knew the basics. 

"I'm... not sure," Felix replied hesitantly. 

"You're not sure?" Nayeon repeated unhelpfully. The Court Mage was suspiciously quiet now, but Felix preferred her that way. She asked hard questions. He liked her better when she was quiet. 

"It happened a long time ago. Hundreds of years ago. There's no way I could know." 

"Wait, hundreds of years ago?" Nayeon asked, her eyes were so wide they were almost bulging out of the sockets. “That’s im—“ 

"My bloodline was cursed," Felix interrupted. "From my dad. My ancestor went against a mage, and they cursed our bloodline." 

If anything, Nayeon looked even more confused. She turned to Momo, looking like she wanted to say something, but Momo's eyes were on Felix. 

"And what kind of curse is it?" Momo asked, eyes unwavering. 

"...misfortune and death," he could almost hear his uncle's voice, like he was in the room with them. "That's why almost no one ever makes it past twenty-five in your family." 

"Hey? Are you o—“ 

"Death," Felix said bluntly. "and misfortune. Barely anyone ever makes it past twenty-five.” 

Twenty-five.  

His mom made it past twenty-five, but that wasn’t the norm.

He was twenty-three now. If he was lucky, he had two more years. 

When he first learned about this, he was ten, and twenty-five sounded like it was going to take forever to reach.

Now that he was twenty-three, two years sounded like a rather short time. 

The implication of it all made his stomach churn. Didn't the books say that his soulmates would feel it when he dies, because their bonds would be broken? 

Two years.

He had two years, maybe less. He had promised Jeongin he would stay, that he would always be there for him, but his always was very limited—it’s short and brief that Felix felt guilty for using the word, but it was the most he could offer. 

It was all he could offer. 

He should probably leave, by next year at the latest, in case the curse caught up to him faster. 

They would feel it when he died, yes, but at least he should do it out of sight. That way, they wouldn't even know that he died, they'd just know that their soulmate did, whoever it was. 

He wasn't letting go of hope, though, not just yet. Maybe his uncle would be back before then, and then they could find a way for them not to feel it. Or maybe... maybe the Court Mage would help. Maybe Hayeon was right, he should trust her. Seungmin was the Heir to the throne, she would definitely help Felix, right? They were all important people, the Kingdom— 

"That doesn't make any sense," Momo said, interrupting Felix's thoughts. 

Truthfully, nothing in Felix’s life made much sense at all. But for fun, he asked, "Why?" 

"First of all, curses cost something," Momo replied, touching her lips in thought. “You need magic, yes, but you need something more. Curses are harmful magic, it's prohibited by law because it's harmful to everyone involved, both the cursed and the curser. The first rule of curses is that they require payment, it harms other people on your behalf but not for free, there's a cost. It costs you more, if not equally." 

“She’s right," Nayeon chimed in. Felix could see the concern in her eyes. "Let's say you hold a grudge against someone, and you want to curse them. Maybe you want to, I don't know, make them blind or something. You could curse them, but you’d probably end up losing both of your eyeballs, and maybe a limb as well, as the consequence or ‘cost’ of the curse. It takes more.”

"That's not all," Momo added grimly. "It's believed that the use of curses angers the fates, which is why people barely ever used it. In some rare occurrences documented hundreds of years ago, it's said that one would lose their ability to wield magic entirely if they ever dabbled in curses." 

"Do you understand why your story doesn't make any sense, Felix?" Nayeon asked, not unkindly. Admittedly, he didn’t, but if he heard them say it doesn’t make any sense one more time he might just lose it. "For someone to put a curse of death on you, means that they're condemning themselves to death as well, at the very least. That's not even counting the fact that they would lose their magic if they decided to go ahead with it. How could they continue to curse your bloodline for generations if they're dead, and have lost their ability to wield magic?" 

Felix had no idea how he could say this without sounding whiny or petulant, but he didn't know. How was he supposed to know? He wasn't even a mage. He barely knew anything about magic, even though he somehow had the ability to see it. 

"It's my bloodline, maybe they're offering their bloodline to sacrifice for the curse, too? That's why it's still going?" Felix suggested helplessly. 

Nayeon shook her head, dismissing his theory, "You could only offer what's fully yours, parts of you. Limbs, organs, years of your life, death... Curses are personal. You can't drag other people to it, not even if they're your soulmate, or your own child.”

Felix's mind was spinning by now. If what they were saying was true, then what did that mean for him? 

"But I'm telling you the truth," he insisted. "I swear. My... my parents died when I was young. My dad first, and... and then my mom. She told me that my grandparents died when my dad was very young, too! Our family has lived in the forest for generations, for decades, hundreds of years. The—the villagers chased us out of the village because they didn't want to be cursed along with us, but it's not—it only affects our bloodline. Not other people. I—“ 

"Felix," Nayeon interrupted gently. "We're not saying that you're lying. It's just that according to what we know about curses, what you said shouldn’t be possible." 

Felix was at a loss for words. If it shouldn’t be possible, what was going on with his family, then?

"But that’s only what we know," Momo pointed out, glancing at Nayeon. "At the end of the day, everything we know about curses is very limited because of their nature. It's not exactly something we could try ourselves because the consequences would be too great. No sane mage would be fine with losing their magic." 

Nayeon nodded slowly in agreement. "She's right. We know the theory, but you've lived through it; your family has lived through it. What’s the weight of theory in front of actual, real-life experience?”

The room fell silent at her words. 

"I can clearly see that something's wrong with you. I have no idea what kind of curse could cause this, but..." she trailed off, eyes darting around him like she was scrutinizing whatever it was she was seeing. "There's definitely something affecting you." 

"A curse that affects an entire bloodline," Nayeon repeated, shaking her head slightly, her expression bewildered. "I can’t wrap my head around it. It doesn't sound like something that's humanly possible, or something." 

Momo simply hummed in response, lost in thought. 

Felix’s mind was, on the contrary, blank. Blank as an empty parchment, thank you very much, because he had never been more confused in his life. 

“I almost forgot, that's not all," Nayeon spoke up, seemingly remembering something. She turned to Momo. ”Granna said it today." 

Momo seemed puzzled. "Said what?" 

“The thing," Nayeon repeated, emphasizing the words with her eyebrows raised.

Momo paused, the confusion stayed before she seemed to finally get it. "She said it?" 

"To him," Nayeon said, nodding in Felix's direction. 

They both held their gazes, seemingly having a silent conversation. 

When Momo finally turned to face Felix, there was something else in her expression. "Who are you?" she asked. There was wonder in her voice. 

Felix was just. 

He thought he'd learn something, he thought he'd get some answers and feel less confused after having the conversation with these two women, but if anything, he was even more confused now.

“What do you mean?” he asked tiredly. “I don’t… understand what’s going on. Please explain what’s going on.”

 

---

 

Chan was losing his mind. 

He was terrified of what he was feeling.

It wasn’t like it was groundless, he was right to feel that way, because this feeling shouldn’t even exist to begin with. 

How did he even get here? 

The moment he saw the blood on Felix’s hand, he didn’t think oh no, he’s bleeding! like a normal person. Instead, his mind just went blank, and an overwhelming feeling surged inside him. 

It felt like devastation, like heartbreak—but why the heck would he feel that way? He couldn’t be feeling that way, he shouldn’t. 

And then it hits him. 

He was not okay with Felix not being their soulmate. 

It’s not like he thought the younger was their soulmate before, although he would be lying if he said that he never wished for it. He did think—hope that Felix could be their soulmate; an insane thought he’d usually stop immediately because they all thought that Jeongin was their last. 

But then, Jeongin wasn’t their last, they had another one. Chan would be lying if he said he didn’t hope for it to be Felix, but he also didn’t want to admit that he hoped for that. 

Now it was clear that Felix wasn’t their soulmate, and that weighed heavily on him. 

He was a horrible person. 

Was he hoping Felix was their soulmate so that he could justify how he felt towards him? Had he been unfaithful to his soulmates? 

They had never done anything, he could argue. Everything he had with Felix was platonic, it wasn’t as if he was doing anything special, Felix himself was a physical person—he gave casual touches so freely, but it was all strictly platonic. Chan had never even hugged him, while Jisung had, so he couldn’t have done anything wrong.

That was what he had been trying to tell himself, but it was really hard to lie, especially to yourself. Impossible, more like, because if it was all platonic, why would Chan feel this way? If it was platonic, why did he crave the other’s company just like he craved his soulmates’ company? Why would those little touches make his heart flutter? Why would it make him crave for more?

If it was all platonic, Chan wouldn’t be feeling this way, which was why he was losing his mind. 

The more he tried to rationalize his feelings, the more he realized that his emotions were far from platonic.

He liked Felix, and not platonically. 

Fates, he had five—six, if you count Jeongin—gorgeous, amazing soulmates and he still managed to feel this way towards someone else. He must be the most horrible person ever. 

How very greedy of you, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Byungjoon whispered in his mind. 

The man never said that to Chan, he was always directing those words to Seungmin, but it was no different. Seungmin’s soulmates are Chan’s soulmates too, if Byungjoon thought Seungmin was greedy, so were the rest of them.

And Chan was probably the worst of them all, because he liked Felix, too. 

The thought made him feel horrible about himself that he had been subconsciously avoiding the younger out of guilt. He barely ever looked in his direction, he stopped addressing him during mealtimes, and he would excuse himself hastily whenever they stumbled into each other.

The first few times it happened, Felix had seemed confused, but he did the same this morning when he ran into him at the staff’s quarters and Chan thought that Felix had looked a little sad. 

He didn’t stop Chan, though, nor did he point out his change in demeanor. 

When Chan blurted that he needed to be somewhere else instead of engaging him in conversation the way he used to do whenever they ran into each other, Felix just smiled sadly and nodded, wishing him a good day.

Tomorrow, Jeongin’s friends and family would arrive. 

Right after Felix had excused himself after lunch to go to the city, Jeongin had spoken up. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked with a frown.

The room froze at his words. Chan turned to him, eyes questioning. 

“You know what I mean,” Jeongin said with a scowl before he proceeded to call out their strange behavior. “Why are you all acting like he doesn’t exist all of a sudden? Well, everyone except you two, because apparently you’re the only ones with some common sense left,” he turned to Seungmin and Changbin. Curiously, the two averted their gazes. 

No one said anything in response. 

“Really?” Jeongin asked, unimpressed. “You’ve got nothing to say?”

Chan had some things to say, one of them being, what the heck is going on? He must’ve been too distracted because he didn’t even realize that the others were also, somehow, doing something similar. 

Wait, why would they do that, though? 

“Are you still pissed about what happened? Or is it guilt?” Jeongin went on, sounding increasingly irritated. “If it’s the first one, I don’t agree with his action, too. It was unnecessary and it was reckless. But also, if you told me that you were starting to suspect that he was this new soulmate we’ve just discovered, I could’ve told you that he’s not. I checked already.”

A tense silence settled down upon the table. 

Jeongin let out a small sigh. 

Guilt swirling in his gut, Chan finally spoke up, “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I’ve just… been having a lot on my mind.”

Jeongin said nothing in response. 

“If it’s about what you said, hyung,” he turned his attention to Jisung, face wary. “You know he doesn’t think that way, right? He sees the world in people, in you all. Even when I didn’t want to see it, he kept telling me that you’re good people, and—“

“I know,” Minho said quietly, interrupting Jeongin’s speech. For a moment, Chan thought that he looked like he wanted to say something else, his expression disturbed, but decided against it in the end. 

“He thinks you’re mad at him,” Jeongin added. “So he’s probably gonna apologize, when you let him.”

That was ridiculous. Chan wasn’t mad at Felix, he was mad at himself. To think that he made the other think that way made it all worse. 

“He’s right. He apologized to me,” Seungmin said, sounding guilty. 

“Me, too,” Changbin added glumly. 

“I’ll talk to him,” Chan said quickly. He should set things straight. For now, he would try to act as normal as possible—or at least he’d try. He wasn’t sure if he could or should be spending time with the other though because now that he had realized his feelings and how much of a horrible person he was, he would be—without a doubt—cheating. 

He needed to come clean to his soulmates. 

Would they forgive him? What if they don’t? Chan couldn’t imagine it, but it would be what he deserved for being unfaithful. 

They deserved better than this. 

They deserved better than him. 

“Me too,” Jisung muttered soon after. 

Minho and Hyunjin remained suspiciously quiet, not that Chan was about to call them out because he had no right to do that. He had to set himself straight, first and foremost. 

It seemed like Jeongin wasn’t keen on pushing them, either. “Thanks,” he said.

“I’ll talk to him tonight, after dinner,” Chan added in an attempt to assure him. 

“He’s coming home late tonight,” Seungmin told him. “He’s eating dinner at his friend’s.”

Swallowing the lump that had mysteriously lodged itself in his throat, Chan replied, “Tomorrow, then.”

Tomorrow, he would apologize to Felix. He would set things straight, and he would come clean to his soulmates. 

He could only hope they would forgive him.

 

---

 

Just one more day, Felix had been telling himself. 

Tomorrow, his hyungs would arrive, Minhyuk would arrive, and he’d get to breathe a little easily for a few days. He’d get some time to take his head off this and maybe even figure out his plan from here. 

He definitely offended them, one way or another. He was determined to apologize and make amends, but of course, nothing could guarantee that they would forgive him, but he would apologize. They deserved that, if not more. 

It was a good reminder, too, that he’d overstayed his welcome. 

Now that he thought of it, maybe it was fate, for this to happen right before his friends came. It felt like a sign, telling him that his time was up, telling him that he should go. 

But then he remembered Jeongin, and he remembered his promise of staying. 

He couldn’t leave, at least, not yet.

There’s still the whole thing with his new friends; Felix wasn’t going to leave before he could ensure Jeongin and his soulmates’ safety. If they could figure out who was behind this whole scheme against the Royals, everyone would surely be safer. 

He still had two years. He would make the most out of it, and then he could disappear and die peacefully. Or as peacefully as his curse would let him. He didn’t care much about how he’d die, if it was a painful death, they wouldn’t be able to feel it anyway, so there was no problem.  

But then he was back at square one, because how could he stay here when he had clearly overstayed his welcome? 

Minhyuk was coming. Maybe he could help him come up with a solution. 

Felix could kiss Hayeon thank you right now, because even though she hadn’t told the Court Mage and the Grandmaster about his sight, she told them how he was working as her assistant—and apparently she was singing him praises. The Grandmaster had told him that if he was interested, she could try getting him a job at the Guild.  

He found himself hesitating about them.

On one hand, Hayeon trusted them, and they seemed genuinely concerned for him. The Court Mage actually asked him to meet her because she was concerned about his wildly flickering life force, she wanted to figure out a way to help him. 

Of course, he had the most rotten luck, and ended up stumbling into Granna, who apparently, wasn’t spouting out nonsense, nor was it a fun little riddle she uttered to break the ice. 

“It’s something that has been passed down in her family,” The Grandmaster explained. “Granna’s soulmate, her husband, died in an unfortunate accident a few months after their marriage. They hadn’t had any children then, so she adopted me from the orphanage,” she said. “She adopted us.”

Felix glanced at the Court Mage, who nodded in confirmation. 

“My parents died when I was barely seven,” Nayeon continued. “While Momo’s been at the orphanage since she was only a few months old. She adopted us and took us under her wing. Of course, she did that because she had always wanted children, but also because she had a responsibility, a duty she needed to pass down, in case she didn’t make it.”

She paused for a moment before continuing, “The duty was to relay the revelation that has been entrusted to them.”

“The… revelation?” Felix repeated slowly. 

Apparently, that was what Felix heard. It wasn’t a riddle, or nonsensical things Granna said because the years were catching up on her, it was a revelation. That was what she called it, that was what her family called it. 

A revelation entrusted to their family.

Their family had the duty to pass it on to, apparently, Felix. When he asked them why they thought it was him, they couldn’t give him a straight answer, though. They told him that all they knew was that Granna said someone would come, and when they did, she’d know. They’d know. 

“I think she might’ve had the wrong person?” Felix chuckled nervously, overwhelmed by the strangeness of it all. He really didn’t need this, whatever it was. He was literally an inch away from a mental breakdown. “I have no idea what she meant.”

The two women exchanged glances.

“Granna’s getting old, and she does forget things, from time to time,” Nayeon agreed. “But she doesn’t make mistakes, not when it comes to this,” she added confidently. 

“But I don’t even know what it means,” he complained weakly. 

They didn’t have anything to say to that. If Felix had to guess, it seemed like they had no idea what it meant, too. 

“We’ll figure it out somehow,” Momo said, sounding very not confident. 

“We will,” Nayeon added firmly. “We’ll help. Don’t worry.”

And they left it at that. Maybe Felix could suggest that they ask Granna to translate what this ‘revelation’ meant the next time he met them. She should know something, right? 

If there was anything positive that came out of that headache-inducing meeting, it was the fact that when Felix told them that he had told Hyunjin about Momo’s cryptic behavior and how that had made him nervous, they helped him make up a lie. 

They agreed that whatever was going on with Felix didn’t need to reach the Royals’ ears. Especially because it had nothing to do with them.

If they asked, Felix was going to tell them that Hayeon had told the Court Mage about what a fantastic assistant Felix was, and so she wanted him to come to the Guild so that she could introduce him to the Grandmaster.

Felix was still torn about telling them about his sight, but he thought it might just be the right choice. The Court Mage had a blessed sight as well, so maybe she could provide some insight about it. Plus, if they knew he could see magic, he had a feeling that he would definitely get that job Nayeon told him about. 

But then again, his reservations weren’t groundless. He never planned to work with Mages in particular.

Of course, his uncle was an exception; so was Hayeon. If he worked for the Guild, or a Mage, he would definitely be seeing more Mages, and he wasn't particularly thrilled about it. If anything, it felt like he should be avoiding Mages after what he just learned about curses.

If he had a job, he could move out of the palace. He wanted to stay in the capital, for Jeongin, and so that he could keep working with Hyunwoo, Kyuseok, and Seojun.

He was definitely staying in the capital for now, or at least for another year. 

How much would lodging cost in the capital? He had no idea. He should really get a job before deciding to move out, because he wouldn’t have a place to stay otherwise. 

Again, he was reminded of everyone’s kindness. Back in Duskwood, Wooyoung and the Jungs had let him stay with them. Here, Seungmin and his soulmates had let him stay. He couldn’t rely on these people’s kindness forever, he had been relying too much on their kindness it made him feel embarrassed and horrible, now that he thought of it. 

Were they mad at him because of this, too?

They were really kind and generous, each and every one of them, but Felix had definitely overstayed. 

Even worse, he offended them. Fates, no wonder they were so upset with him. 

Outside of mealtimes almost none of them had engaged him in any conversation whatsoever. Whenever he ran into Chan, the older would immediately blurt an excuse and hurry away. 

He stopped seeing Minho in the library in the early mornings. 

Changbin still talked to him, and he listened to his apology even though he told Felix that there was nothing to apologize for in the end, but Felix had been seeing him less, and whenever they ran into each other, the older wasn’t as cheerful as usual. 

He had also stopped seeing Hyunjin in the middle of the night, the courtyard had been eerily quiet and deserted ever since they last stumbled into each other there. Hyunjin didn’t even ask about what happened with the Court Mage, and it seemed like he hadn’t told anyone about it either, so Felix kept everything to himself.

Felix never saw Jisung outside of mealtimes, and he wasn’t in that hidden room on the second floor. He had a feeling that Jisung didn’t want to be found, he didn’t want to see him, so he figured that he’d give the other some space. He would apologize later. 

Seungmin was the one who didn’t change, kind of. Just like Changbin, he brushed off Felix’s apology, before cryptically apologizing, too, but he also had been burying himself in books and paperwork, and would barely look him in the eyes whenever he visited him in his study, so other than asking for permission to go to the city, he hadn’t really been talking to Seungmin. 

At least Jeongin wasn’t mad at him. He was upset at first, but after he made him promise he would never do something like that ever again, he went back to normal, even though he was a little sulky that first day. 

“I think they’re mad at me,” Felix told him the other day. “I offended them, didn’t I? It’s not like that, I promise. They’re amazing, you’re amazing—wait, I didn’t offend you too, did I? Because you’re like, the most amazing person ever, like, anyone would be so blessed and lucky to have you as—“

“Hyung,” Jeongin interrupted him, face a little flushed. “No, you didn’t offend me. I know you didn’t mean it that way.” 

“Yeah?” Felix asked hesitantly. “Because I’m serious, you’re—“

“Yes,” Jeongin quickly said before he could continue. “Thanks, hyung,” he added, clearing his throat. “I’m sure they’re not mad at you. Maybe they’re just… busy.”

It was kind of Jeongin, to try and reassure him that way, but Felix knew that they weren’t busy. Or maybe they were, but that wasn’t just it. 

They were actively avoiding him. 

He supposed he deserved it after what he pulled off. Not that they know, but he did lie to them. Plus, he did avoid them before, so he couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it. 

When Minhyuk finally arrived, he was going to make sure to ask him about the proper way to apologize to Nobles—or well, to the Royal Family. 

He still had money left, but he wasn’t sure if it would be enough to get everyone an apology gift. What could he possibly get them, anyway? Whatever he bought would be pathetic in their eyes, since they were Royals and had practically everything they ever needed or wanted. 

Shaking his head, he decided that he would think about it later. The point was that he was going to apologize to them and hope for the best—who knows, maybe they would forgive him and he would get the luxury of being their friend for another year before he needed to leave. 

That was another thing he couldn’t stop thinking about, the fact that his days were numbered. 

He knew this, he had known this his entire life, but somehow it never really hit him this way. 

Realizing—remembering that his days were numbered made him appreciate everything a lot more. He reminded himself that he had gotten so much more than he should’ve. 

Even if they were ignoring him, it was fine. He’d treasure every single second with them for as long as he could.

Of course, he’d have preferred if they weren’t mad at him, but that was his fault. Sitting in the same room with them, sharing a meal, was more than enough for Felix—it was more than he ever imagined he’d get to do, since he thought he wouldn’t ever meet them.

His dinner at the Jangs’ was uneventful but pleasant. Mrs. Jang filled the air with her cheerful chatter, while both Siwoo and Mr. Jang would chime in from time to time, always grumbling. Felix would join in whenever he was addressed, too.

Siwoo’s resemblance with his father was uncanny. 

Felix was a little distracted throughout dinner, so he really appreciated Mrs. Jang’s talkative nature. Even though he was distracted, he found himself at ease with the Jangs. Rather than the unbearable awkwardness in the palace nowadays, he might prefer feasting with his new friend’s family just a tiny little bit.

Despite Felix’s protests, Siwoo had walked him to the library—Felix told him that he was staying not far from there, muttering something about sightings of suspicious people and how Felix would probably stumble and hit himself on the head and end up in a ditch or something, which he didn’t want on his conscience. Felix just rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue. 

Siwoo might just be the kindest, grumpy person he had ever met. 

His walk back home through the underground tunnels with Yeonjun was notably quiet. Felix had too much on his mind to engage in small talk.

“You alright?” Yeonjun asked about ten minutes into their journey, slowing his pace. 

“Yeah, was just thinking,” Felix replied, hoping that the older would leave it at that.

“About?”

“Just… stuff.”

For a little while, Yeonjun left it at that and they continued walking quietly, the narrow passage illuminated by the oil lamp he was holding. 

“It’s His Highnesses, isn’t it?” he eventually breached the topic.

That caught Felix off-guard he stopped in his tracks. Yeonjun noticed right away, pausing to look at him. 

“…What makes you think that?”

Even in the dark where the source of light was that small oil lamp, Felix could see the apologetic smile on Yeonjun’s face. Right, he probably saw them or something, he lived in the palace and Chan especially, had abruptly left when they ran into each other in the staff’s quarters.

Come to think of it, the other staff must’ve seen them around the palace. Mrs. Jang the librarian definitely noticed Minho’s absence the past few days, Felix had asked the staff and guards about Jisung’s whereabouts so that he could apologize properly, too, but of course nobody knew.

Suddenly, he felt Yeonjun’s hand on his head, ruffling his hair. Felix made a surprised noise. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Yeonjun reassured him. “Friends fight sometimes.”

Fight? Felix wasn’t fighting anyone; even more when it’s them. He would never fight them. 

“Right,” he said uncertainly. “Thanks, hyung.”

For a moment, the two stood there in silence. Felix was lost in his thoughts, while Yeonjun looked like he was trying to decide whether to say something or not. 

“It’s actually normal, that this is happening,” Yeonjun added, seemingly eager to offer further reassurance.

“…It is?”

Yeonjun nodded confidently, “They’re getting closer, after all. It’s only normal for them to start feeling jealous. You’re really close to Jeongin,” he pointed out, and Felix felt like the entire world stopped for a second. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that! You’re probably like brothers, right? Things can get a little messy when feelings develop, it’s completely normal. You should’ve seen us a few years ago, we used to fight a lot,” he finished reassuringly, but Felix was far from assured. 

He was horrified. 

They’re jealous of him? Because he was close to Jeongin? 

Felix didn’t even think of that—he was pretty sure that they were offended about what happened the other day, not… not jealous. 

He wasn’t doing anything special with Jeongin, was he? He was only doing friend things, nothing more. Plus, Jeongin didn’t see him that way, he had that person back in Duskwood—now that Felix thought of it, why didn’t he invite them here, along with his parents and the hyungs? Maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea, for the soulmates and the lover-who-is-not-the-soulmate to meet.

Yeonjun was right, they have been getting closer. Jeongin had always been on a rather good term with Chan and Seungmin. 

Whenever the others started teasing Chan about his age, Felix would listen and laugh along, but nowadays Jeongin would jump in and join the teasing, too. 

Despite that, Felix could see the respect in Jeongin's eyes when he looked at Chan.

One time, Felix had gotten back to their room a little late, and when Jeongin asked, he told him that he had been in the library, and that Seungmin was there, too. When Felix went and talked about how Seungmin had been focusing on books about mining and winemaking this week—two subjects that couldn’t be less related to each other—Jeongin had hummed and muttered. “It’s cool how he tries to learn everything for the Kingdom.”

It wasn’t much, but from Jeongin, it was because he always meant what he said. Felix almost failed to stop himself from doing a double take. 

It wasn’t a secret how Jeongin really enjoyed gardening with Minho, he was always so relaxed and happy whenever he got back from their gardening sessions. 

What was a little surprising was how Jeongin and Hyunjin got along like fire. Felix was really glad to see it. Apparently, they bonded over their not-so-fond feelings towards Nobles, because ironically enough, even though Hyunjin came from a Noble family—one of the Twelve, even—he still thought, and Felix quoted, that Nobles are scums. 

Jeongin would complain about his lessons, particularly on days when he needed to learn about Nobles and everything related to them, and Hyunjin would be hyping him up; nodding passionately at each complaint. 

Even more, he’d tell Jeongin about the dirt he heard about them, and they both would continue grumbling about those nobles rather passionately. 

It was actually pretty amusing to watch, when Felix thought about it. Not that he agreed with their sentiments, because he had his fair share of Noble friends and they were all super kind. 

Jisung had definitely swayed Jeongin with his playing, because Jeongin thinks he was awesome. Felix had also caught him looking at the other very fondly when he thought no one was watching, which was adorable. 

Jeongin and Changbin had been getting along, too. Jeongin told Felix about it, how Changbin had approached him first, and had apologized for what he said. 

Despite how it looked, Felix knew how much of a softie and kind-hearted person Jeongin was, so of course he forgave him. 

After Felix had told Jeongin about Changbin’s antics with Dongja, the younger would sometimes tease Changbin about it, neighing just quiet enough for Changbin to hear before throwing a conspiratorial grin at Felix. 

All in all, they were all good with each other now, which warmed Felix’s heart more than anything. He was so happy for them that he could barely feel the ache of longing that sometimes surged inside him. 

He still couldn’t figure out why they would be jealous of him, though. 

Wait, they thought he was their soulmate, but he had made it clear that he wasn’t. So maybe, now that they know for sure, they didn’t want him to be so close to Jeongin. But does that mean they’ve been thinking that he might be their soulmate? No, that wasn’t possible, they were all pretty shocked when they found out they had another soulmate. 

His mind went back to the first day they arrived, and the first few days of their stay. 

Hyunjin had disliked him from the get-go, and he had assumed it was because he had come hand-in-hand with Jeongin, their soulmate, who acted like he’d rather be anywhere but here. 

Sure, he apologized, but that didn’t mean he stopped feeling that way, did it? Maybe that was why it took them a while to get along, too. Maybe the others felt the same way, but they didn’t want to upset Jeongin, so they kept quiet about it. They’ve been really kind to Felix, but that didn’t mean he should take advantage of that and forget his place. 

Colors drained from his face at the realization, Felix just stood there, stunned. 

“—lix? You alright?” Yeonjun’s concerned face came into focus.

His throat felt dry all of a sudden, so he swallowed, “Yeah,” he muttered quietly. “Yeah, I…” he trailed off. “I didn’t think of that.”

Yeonjun gave him a kind smile, “It’s okay, Lixie. You’re their friend, too. I’m sure this will go away soon.” 

Brow furrowed in worry, Felix asked, “What should I do, hyung?”

Yeonjun hesitated before replying, “Maybe keep a distance, for a little while?” he suggested tentatively. “For example, you’re sleeping together, right? Maybe it’d be better to stop? I mean, I’m sure you guys aren’t doing anything inappropriate, but—“

“No!” Felix interjected quickly, scandalized. “Of course not! We’re just… resting together—as in losing consciousness, collectively, during night hours… together,” he stammered as he tried to find the right words.

“No, no, of course, I get it,” Yeonjun said quickly, waving his free hand. “But y’know, it’s easy to misunderstand. People don’t generally sleep with other people, especially if they’ve found their soulmate. Of course, there are exceptions to this, like how Nobles would sleep with flower—“

“I get it,” Felix cut him off quickly before he could get into that. “I get it. You’re right, hyung, I—“ he sighed. “I didn’t think of it but I should’ve, because you’re right. It’s easy to misunderstand this kind of thing.”

The older offered a few more words of reassurance before they continued their journey back home. Felix spent the whole way thinking, and he was grateful that Yeonjun let him do so in silence. 

He should keep his distance. 

That sounded easier than done, because they were practically living at the same place now. Maybe it was really time for him to move out. Maybe he should go back to Duskwood with the others? He promised Jeongin he’d stay though, so that wasn’t really something he wanted to do. 

Moving out sounded like the only solution he could think of. 

He would give it a thought, he would discuss it with Minhyuk. For now, he needed to find a way to tell Jeongin that they should stop their sleepovers. He wasn’t sure how that conversation was going to go, but he hoped it was going to be fine. 

Thank fates Minhyuk was coming, he could definitely spend his time with him, effectively keeping his distance from Jeongin for at least a few days, since Minhyuk needed to go back on Friday. 

That sounded like a plan. He’d think about what’s next later, for now, he had the next few days handled. 

Finally for once, the universe was cooperating with him. 

 

---

 

This might be very dramatic, but Jeongin could’ve cried of happiness, if he just let himself. His parents were here, his hyungs were here.

As soon as he saw them, Jeongin rushed toward them, embracing his mom. He could feel his dad’s arms around them the next second, and it was almost too hard not to do something embarrassing, like openly sob, for example. 

When they pulled away, he drunk in the view of their faces. They looked just as happy to see him, but there were traces of worry in their expressions. 

He could see how tense they were, and it was then he remembered that they had no idea what was going on. While they knew they were going to his soulmates’ place, they certainly didn’t expect to be brought into an actual palace. 

He gave them the best reassuring smile he could muster before he noticed the two people standing not far behind them, Wooyoung and San. 

“Hyung,” Jeongin muttered as he went to them, giving them each a friendly hug. 

“Innie, what the fuck,” Wooyoung whispered to his ear, eliciting a laugh from Jeongin.

“Yeah,” Jeongin said when he pulled away. “That’s exactly what I said.” Internally, of course, when he first arrived. 

Finally, he noticed the last person who had come with them, Lee Minhyuk, who was standing a polite distance away. 

Coincidentally, Jeongin was so happy now that his presence couldn’t ruin his mood. He offered him a polite nod, which was graciously returned. 

“Welcome,” Chan said, stepping forward, a friendly smile plastered on his face. He introduced himself and the others, just the way Jisung did when Jeongin and Felix first arrived. “We hope your journey has been pleasant,” he added. 

Jeongin’s parents remained quiet, so did Wooyoung and San. Jeongin thought that Minhyuk would take control and say something, but when Jeongin glanced at him he simply bowed his head slightly before straightening himself.

“We’re happy to have you here, Mr. And Mrs. Yang, Jeongin’s told us about you,” Chan continued, seemingly unfazed. “We’re also glad to have you here, Mr. Jung, Mr. Choi, and of course, Lord Lee.”

“The pleasure is mine, Your Highness,” Minhyuk replied with a well-practiced smile. 

Chan returned the gesture, clasping his hands. “Why don’t we go to the Dining Room? We have prepared a feast for you,” he suggested. 

"Innie," Wooyoung whispered from beside Jeongin, a hint of concern in his voice. "Where's—" He trailed off as his eyes flickered to the figure that had just arrived, his face lighting up. “Lixie!"

Jeongin turned just in time to see Felix’s face brightening up in a similar manner. In an instant, the two ran toward each other and collided in the middle, pulling each other in a rather enthusiastic and tight hug. In his delight, Wooyoung had lifted Felix slightly off the ground, their delighted laughter mixing together and making Jeongin smile so wide that his cheeks were starting to hurt. 

Felix went to give San a hug before greeting Jeongin’s parents, and then just when Jeongin thought today would be perfect, Felix’s eyes landed on Minhyuk. 

Something shifted in his expression. “Hyung,” he said, voice quiet and almost unsteady. 

Minhyuk stepped closer, and then when he spoke, Jeongin’s mood plummeted. “Hey, love,” he said before pulling Felix into a warm hug.

Jeongin’s heart sank. Love? 

Why would he call him that? Were they dating? Was Lee Minhyuk Felix’s soulmate? 

He could almost feel it, how it was getting increasingly hard to maintain the smile that had naturally appeared on his face after the long-awaited reunion. His smile faded into nothing; Jeongin was pretty sure he was openly scowling right now, he couldn’t help it. 

There was an ache building inside him, and he almost failed to stop himself from pulling Felix away from Lee fucking Minhyuk. 

Why did he encourage Felix to invite him, again?

This whole thing might’ve just been a huge mistake on his part.

 

---

 

Three figures stood close to each other in tense silence.

The one in the middle let out an exasperated sigh, “I can’t watch this anymore.”

“Calm down,” said the one to their left, voice soothing. “They’re getting closer.”

“Are they, really?” the first one, the one in the middle, challenged. “There are too many things in their way. We need to—“

“We can’t interfere more than we already have,” the third one spoke up, tone final. “You know this just as much as I do.”

A heavy silence hung between the trio. 

“He made it to the Messenger,” the third one pointed out in an attempt to reassure the other two. “No one ever made it to the Messenger.”

Unfortunately, it seemed to have the opposite effect. The air around them grew thicker, reflecting the wavering confidence they desperately tried to protect. 

“It’s all coming to an end,” the second said quietly. “It ends with them.”

“What if he doesn’t make it?” the first one asked grimly. “What if they don’t make it?” 

The second turned to face them, eyes unwavering. “Well, then I suppose it will really be the end.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic. She likes him,” the third one interjected. “She favors him more than she ever favored the ones before. I think he might just convince her.”

The other two responded in silence; but in their silence was hope. It might just be on its very last string, but it was still there. 

Notes:

Felix: (is exceptionally talented at drawing the wrong conclusion, as dubbed by Jeongin)
Yeonjun: (genuinely wants to help but is equally clueless just because he’s lacking context)
Them: (laugh in misunderstanding)

as usual, the next chapter will be up next wednesday (unless i finish early, or late). i hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Retrospring | discord server

Chapter 27: A Drop of Truth

Felix had been eagerly anticipating Minhyuk's arrival, counting down the days, hours, and minutes until they reunited, but he didn’t think he would feel this intensely about it. 

So many things were going on that he just felt so, so tired. 

But now Minhyuk was here. 

The moment his arms enveloped him, it was almost as if a weight had been lifted; suddenly, Felix could breathe a little easier. Minhyuk was here. 

Minhyuk was… Minhyuk was easy. 

It was so easy, to be with him. It was effortless.

Felix didn’t have to overthink when he was with him, he could just be. He could just relax and engage in their brand of lighthearted banter, he could talk about anything from his uncle, the forest, to even soulmates, and he didn’t have to worry too much about it—if at all. 

He didn’t have to hold himself back, he could be as close to the other as he wanted, he could hold onto him as tight as he could without worrying about whether his curse would stain him—because it wouldn’t, it couldn’t. 

With Minhyuk, he felt so free that it was almost as if he was back in the forest. If he closed his eyes he could almost hear the breeze of wind rustling the leaves of the trees, he could almost hear the sound of water of the lake, the warm grass beneath them. 

The feelings that washed over him were overwhelming that Felix almost didn’t realize, how hard he had clung to his friend, how maybe, they had stayed that way a little too long. 

Stepping back, Felix flashed Minhyuk a grateful smile. He could see his eye bags, and how tired he looked. The Committee Meetings must be more exhausting than he thought. Despite that, his friend came for him. 

Warmth spread in him at the thought, tinted with a little bit of guilt.

They all made their way to the Dining Room, interestingly enough, not the one in the East Wing, but the Main Dining Room, which was considerably bigger. 

The East Wing was big enough to host all of them plus a bunch more people, in Felix’s opinion, though. 

Now that he thought about it, he started wondering about what had been going on with the Duskwood Committee. 

It wasn’t as if he had pressed Minhyuk about it, but he did ask what was going on and his friend told him that he’d rather talk about it in person. 

Whatever it was, it still hadn’t been resolved, which was why Minhyuk needed to catch the meeting on Saturday. So this whole thing had been going on almost ever since Felix and Jeongin arrived in the capital. He didn’t know anything about Noble politics and Committees but that seemed to be a horribly long time for an issue to stay unresolved. 

A soft whisper interrupted Felix's thoughts. "You alright?" Minhyuk's concerned voice came from beside him, prompting him to glance at his friend's face.

“I was just gonna ask you the same thing,” Felix whispered back. “You look tired, hyung. I’m sorry. You didn’t have to come.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Minhyuk whispered. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but they had arrived in the Main Dining Room. 

They all settled into their seats. Felix sat beside Minhyuk, San on his other side, and then Wooyoung. Jeongin sat between his parents. 

Once they all settled, Chan started a polite conversation, addressing Jeongin’s parents. Felix didn’t get to pay attention to him, because Minhyuk had started talking again. “I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to,” he said, voice low and quiet. “I’ve been missing you terribly, Lixie,” he said with his usual teasing smile.

Felix couldn’t help but smile in return. He missed this. “Yeah?” he played along. He had been missing Minhyuk terribly, too. “I guess that’s to be expected. I’m an excellent company.”

“The very best,” Minhyuk smirked, but Felix could see the sincerity in his eyes. 

They both shared a knowing look, smiling playfully at each other, and for probably the tenth time in the last hour, Felix thought about how glad he was that his friend was here. 

“I believe the Committee of Duskwood is doing well, Lord Lee?” Chan’s unexpected voice cut through their conversation, making both of them turn to face him. “Felix told us that you have been quite busy recently.”

Told was a strong word, in Felix’s opinion. He merely mentioned that in passing, and he was talking to Jeongin. He didn’t really mind the details, but hearing his name come out of Chan’s mouth was a surprise, considering what had been happening the past few days. 

He supposed it wouldn’t be a good impression, to continue to act as if he didn’t exist in front of Jeongin’s friends and family.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Minhyuk answered with a practiced smile. “The Committee is as lively as ever.”

“That’s good to hear,” Chan nodded as he returned the gesture. 

The staff filled the room and served the food. 

Felix took the moment to look around the room. He could practically sense the suspicious glances thrown at Seungmin and the Heirs, the kind he saw a lot back in Duskwood whenever he was with Minhyuk. He supposed that couldn’t be helped; Jeongin needed time to trust and see that they were good people, his family and friends would need the same. 

Despite everything, Minhyuk couldn’t be more relaxed. Felix knew that his friend tended to avoid banquets and gatherings with other Nobles, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t trained for it. In fact, there was no way he wasn’t trained for it because he had been representing his family in the Committee meetings, hadn’t he? 

Minhyuk did tell him that he preferred staying back in Duskwood whenever his father went to the capital for banquets and gatherings, though; at least, whenever it was allowed by his father. 

He wondered if his friend ever met Seungmin or the others in those gatherings.

“Please enjoy the meal, we hope it’s to your liking,” Chan said with a smile before he started digging in. 

Felix took a small serving of the things closest to him and started eating. In all honesty, he wasn’t feeling particularly hungry. He just wanted to leave the room and have a conversation with Minhyuk, somewhere they could talk freely.

They both ate in silence, Minhyuk had drilled it to him before that not talking throughout a meal was what considered elegant by the Nobles—not that he had been following that principle religiously because everyone talked during meals, anyway. Not when they were chewing and there was food in their mouth, of course, but they spoke. 

Minhyuk was his teacher in everything Noble-related, and he seemed particularly keen on protecting that principle, so Felix followed his lead. Maybe he’d feel more relaxed tomorrow.

Maybe it was a good thing that they were ignoring him nowadays, he could pretend in front of Minhyuk that he had been following each and every one of his teachings or something. 

Chan kept the conversation going throughout the meal, mostly addressing Jeongin’s parents as well as Wooyoung and San. Unfortunately for him, all four of them didn’t seem particularly eager to participate, Jeongin’s parents—mostly his father—would answer in nods and head-shaking only; while Wooyoung mostly gave one-word answers as San tried to smooth things over. 

It reminded him of that first meal they had together and how he’d do that for Jeongin. That felt like such a long time ago. 

Minhyuk finished his meal first, laying down his cutlery neatly as he patiently waited for Felix to finish his, mindlessly tucking strand hair behind his ears the way he always did when they were sitting together in silence—when they were reading at his place or when they were relaxing by the lake, enjoying the silence painted by the sound of the water, the rustling tree leaves, the busy bees, and insects.

Felix kept his eyes and attention on his meal, focusing on finishing as fast as he could.

Once done, he noticed that everyone else had finished as well, and the conversations had ceased. Now they were all just sitting awkwardly in silence. 

“Your Highnesses, I must thank you for the wonderful meal and your hospitality,” Minhyuk spoke up, breaking the silence and almost jolting Felix out of his seat. “I believe I have intruded on this wonderful occasion long enough. If I may be allowed to be excused, I shall take my leave. I look forward to the opportunity to continue our acquaintance.”

“Please don’t be so formal, Lord Lee, you are our guest,” Chan replied politely. “If you’d like to retire, we have arranged a room for you, Mr. Choi could show you there.” 

“If I may, I could show Lord Lee to the West Wing,” Felix joined in, his tone polite and reserved. 

“They can stay,” Jeongin said quickly. 

“That’s okay,” Felix turned to him, offering a smile. “I wouldn’t want to intrude, as well,” he added, glancing at Chan for approval.

Slowly and hesitantly, Chan nodded.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Felix smiled politely. 

Together, they stood up, and Felix turned to Minhyuk.

“Lord Lee, shall we?” Felix whispered quietly, grinning playfully at Minhyuk.

His friend rolled his eyes fondly, grabbing his hand to intertwine their fingers, and they left. Once outside, Felix asked the guards about Minhyuk’s room, and Mr. Choi offered to escort them, which he accepted gratefully. They made their way to the West Wing, and Mr. Choi led them to Minhyuk’s room, a few doors away from Felix’s. 

He thanked the man, and they went inside. He could see Minhyuk’s luggage arranged neatly near the desk.

Letting out a breath of relief, Felix pulled away from Minhyuk, immediately going to the bed to throw himself onto it, face-down. He could feel the bed sinking as Minhyuk sat next to him, and then he could feel his hand on his hair. 

“What happened?” Minhyuk asked, voice gentle. There was no teasing or hint of playfulness in his voice. 

“Nothing happened,” Felix said without lifting his head, voice muffled. 

Minhyuk hummed, “Talk to me, Lix,” he said. “I came here for you, you know that, right? I’m on your team no matter what. Is it the Royals? Have they been treating you badly when Jeongin isn’t looking?” he asked the questions quietly, like he was afraid someone was gonna hear it. 

“What, no!” Felix said quickly as he turned his head to see him, but he stayed in his position. “No, hyung. They’ve been—they’ve been really great. They’re really nice. It’s just…” he sighed. “It’s my fault.”

Frowning, Minhyuk asked, “What’s your fault?” 

Deciding that there wouldn’t be any harm, Felix talked and told him what happened—only the part about overstaying and jealousy, of course. He promised he was going to keep the fact that they had another soulmate to himself, after all.

“Ah,” Minhyuk said when he finished, expression thoughtful. 

“I should’ve been more tactful,” Felix added glumly.

Minhyuk hummed, but it didn’t sound like he was agreeing—it sounded like a thoughtful hum. He paused for a moment before speaking up, “Do you wanna come home with me?”

There were a few beats of silence. 

Come home?

That was very tempting, wasn’t it? He could leave and be in a safe distance from Jeongin and his soulmates, it would be perfect. 

Felix could practically feel Minhyuk’s expectant eyes on him. “I can’t,” he muttered. “I promised Jeongin I’d stay.”

That seemed to confuse Minhyuk, whose brow was now furrowed. “Why?”

“Well… They had trouble getting along…” Felix said, feeling foolish all of a sudden. They had trouble getting along, not anymore. Now they got along fine, he could see how much Jeongin had come to like his soulmates. 

“But they get along fine now?”

Felix nodded, and Minhyuk just tilted his head questioningly in response. He could hear the unspoken question, so why do you need to stay then? 

Now that he thought about it, Felix agreed. Jeongin probably didn’t need him to be here, not anymore. Did he even still want him here? He had no idea. Maybe he should just ask him. 

“He’s gonna have to go through a lot of… royal stuff that I don’t understand,” Felix said quietly. “I promised I’d be there for him—I want to be here for him, so I’m staying for at least another year.” Plus, there was the investigation he was doing with his friends, not that he was going to mention it to Minhyuk. He’d trust him with his own life, but he wasn’t gonna say anything without asking Hyunwoo, Kyuseok, and Seojun beforehand. It wasn’t his place. “But I know I can’t stay here in this place, so I’m planning to look for a job and then move out as soon as I can. Do you know any affordable place I could stay at?” 

Minhyuk shook his head as he let out a fond huff. “I have a better idea,” he said. “I think we can wrap things up in the Committee soon. I told you my family has a place here in the capital, right? When it’s done, I’ll move here, and then you can just stay with me.”

“Hyung, no,” Felix exclaimed, a mix of exasperation and gratitude in his tone. “You’ve helped me so much and I’ve relied on you too much, on all of you. I can’t keep doing this, I need to learn to stand on my own. I haven’t even paid you back for the clothes and everything.”

“I told you the clothes are gifts,” Minhyuk interjected. “Besides, what are friends for? Stay with me, Lix, at least for a few months. Lodgings can get pretty expensive in the capital, so you’re better off staying with me. That way, you can start saving up.”

“Hyung…”

“If you want, you can even stay at my place from today on,” Minhyuk offered. “No one’s staying there, so you can stay as I wrap things up back in Duskwood, and then I’ll join you when I’m done.”

“I’m not gonna stay at your place while you’re not here,” Felix said firmly. “That’s ridiculous. What would your father say if he finds out?” 

Minhyuk just rolled his eyes the way he always did whenever Felix expressed his concerns about Mr. Lee. Again, his friend reminded him about how his father wanted him to go to the capital to mingle with other Nobles. 

When Felix eventually asked about the Committee, Minhyuk let out a deep sigh before he went into the whole explanation of how the Committee couldn’t seem to agree on the guards stationed at the gates of the newly built walls. 

Felix was no Noble, so he thought the whole thing was just ridiculous. 

"Considering the recent attacks, the Seok Family, who serves as the Head of the Twelve, decided that it would be best to have guards from Rosevale guarding the gates; not only in Duskwood, but in the other Outlands, too. Rosevale is under the Cha Family, the one responsible for the Military and Defense sector, by the way, so the guards or knights who graduated from the Rosevale Academy are usually the best of the best," Minhyuk went on. "However, some families are reluctant to agree because instead of looking at it from a logical perspective, they see it as the Cha Family breaching their domain or something. Unfortunately, the Ahn family is included in that group.”

“I don’t understand,” Felix said, frowning thoughtfully. “If the Ahn Family is the Lord of Duskwood, wouldn’t they have the say in… well, everything?”

“Not really. That’s why the Committee exists, decisions, decrees and the like need to be approved by the majority of the Committee, even if they come from the Ahn Family, or the Lord of the Outland. Most of the Committee is allied with the Ahns anyway, my family included. I personally think that accepting help from Rosevale would be the right choice,” Minhyuk sighed. 

Felix silently agreed. 

“At this point though, I honestly couldn’t care less. I just want this matter to be settled. It’s long overdue.”

They talked some more about the Committee. Minhyuk told him about the twelve members and how most of them were either allied or secretly allied with the Ahns. The more his friend talked about the alliances between Nobles and Gentry, the worse he felt because it all felt so complicated.

That first day, he spent most of his time that day with Minhyuk, talking and taking him to the palace library—browsing through the books together.

It was really nice. 

It was exactly what he needed after the very stressful week.

“I guess if they are jealous, it would be best to keep your distance for a little while,” Minhyuk mused out loud when Felix asked his opinion about what had been happening, about what he should do in the meantime. “Well, good thing I’m staying for a few days, don’t you think?” he winked playfully. “I’m gonna have you all to myself.”

Felix let out a surprised laugh. “Hyung! I was asking you a serious question about a serious matter.”

“What makes you think I wasn’t giving you a serious answer?” Minhyuk retorted, lips pulled to a smirk. “I came here to see you and I only have a few days, so it’s only a given that you should spend all your time with me.”

“Hmm..” Felix said, pursing his lips as he pretended to think. “I’ll think about it.”

Minhyuk pouted slightly, grumbling under his breath as if he were sulking. Felix swallowed his smile.

“I suppose you have a point, Lord Lee,” he said eventually, acting like he had thought about it thoroughly before finally coming to a decision. He straightened himself and did a mock bow. “I shall spend the next few days keeping you entertained.”

He could see the hint of laugh glinting in Minhyuk’s eyes. “That would be most appreciated, Mr. Lee. Oh, look at that, you already share my name. Might I take this as a sign from the fates that you’re meant to be mine?”

Truthfully, Minhyuk was the one who taught him this particular brand of banter, so Felix shouldn’t be surprised that he was better at it. They were constantly trying to one-up each other; Felix vowed that one day he would manage to fluster Minhyuk, that was a promise. 

Now, though, it was Minhyuk’s point because Felix could no longer hold his laughter, he burst out laughing. Minhyuk joined in not even a second later.

“Fates, you’re such an idiot, hyung,” Felix said as he wiped the tears off the tails of his eyes. 

Minhyuk opened his mouth to retort, but a knock on the door made them pause and turn. One of the guards had come to inform them that dinner was ready. Felix thanked him with a smile. When he turned to Minhyuk, the other had a bright grin on his face.

“Shall we head to dinner, Mr. Lee?” he asked, offering his arm. 

Felix accepted it, mirroring Minhyuk’s grin. “We shall, Lord Lee.”

They made a show, marching a few steps, arm in arm, before Felix accidentally tripped over himself, swaying and stumbling as he tried to regain his balance. Unfortunately, their arms were practically intertwined, so he pulled Minhyuk with him, who made a hilarious noise of surprise. They managed to steady themselves before they paused, gazes locking onto each other, and then they exploded—bursting into another bout of laughter. 

Felix was wrong. They were both idiots. 

Minhyuk’s hand found him, and they made their way into the main Dining Room, giggling among themselves. 

Felix wished the Dining Room was a little bit further, because for some reason he still found what just happened funny and he was having a hard time not laughing. When they arrived, everyone else was already there, though, so Felix had to try to do his best to keep a straight face, barely watching his steps. He let Minhyuk tug him to their chairs. 

It was fine, he got this, he told himself as he settled into his seat. 

He could hear the exchange of pleasantries, and he almost thought that he’d be fine when Chan spoke up and addressed Minhyuk. 

“We hope you had a pleasant day, Lord Lee,” Chan said politely. 

He didn’t even say anything funny, Felix knew that, but he did say Lord Lee, and Felix was sure he was still not entirely on his right mind because that was enough to remind him of their banter and what had happened earlier. He could feel the bubble of laughter threatening to spill out of his mouth. 

He kept his head down and clamped his mouth, digging his nails into his arms so that he could redirect his focus and not laugh like a maniac, because this was so not the time or place for it. 

“We had a wonderful day, thank you, Your Highness,” was Minhyuk’s polite, composed reply. 

Food was served, and just when Felix thought dinner would go well, he accidentally glanced at Minhyuk when Minhyuk was glancing at him.

They both froze for a split second, and Felix could see the edges of Minhyuk’s lips lifting upwards, so he promptly turned away as he clamped his mouth shut in an attempt to keep the laughter inside.

He felt himself shaking in silent laughter, and from his peripheral vision, he could see that Minhyuk was slightly shaking in laughter, too.

They both missed the questioning glances thrown at them. 

So dinner had been eventful. Felix honestly didn’t feel embarrassed or anything because he wasn’t a Noble. He could see how Minhyuk felt a little embarrassed though, for losing his composure like that. To him, Prince Seungmin and the Heirs were strangers, after all, strangers who outranked him. 

They bid their goodbyes and Felix made his way to his bedroom.

He had fully planned to talk to Jeongin about their sleeping arrangement, he really did. 

He had it planned too, in his mind, and he had practiced it mentally, but everything kinda evaporated in a blink of an eye because the moment he stepped into his room, he was pulled into a rather tight hug. 

“Innie,” Felix breathed. Hesitantly, he returned the hug. Hugs were fine, weren’t they? He hugged his friends all the time. “Did you have a good day?”

Instead of answering, Jeongin let out a quiet grunt. Felix had no idea what that meant, but he decided to take it as a yes. 

“I’m glad you had a good time, Innie,”

Jeongin let out a puff of breath before pulling away, “Did you?” he asked. “Did you have a good day?”

“Of course!” Felix said brightly. “I had a good time with hyung, showed him around the palace library. It’s bigger than the one he had at his place, so he was impressed.”

“Right,” Jeongin grumbled. 

For a moment, Felix simply stared at his friend in wonder. 

It seemed like something was bothering him.

He raised his eyebrows, “Is everything okay?” he asked, concerned. “Did anything happen?”

Now that he thought of it, Mr. and Mrs. Yang did not seem particularly thrilled to be here. They were thrilled to meet Jeongin, of course, but Felix didn’t miss the kind of look they threw at each other, nor did he miss the suspicious glances they threw at Chan and the others. 

It was their first day here, it was probably normal for them not to immediately like them. 

“Everything’s fine,” Jeongin told him. Felix just gave him an unimpressed look, because something was clearly disturbing him. “It’s just—“ he sighed. “I wish you were there with us, hyung,” he muttered as he averted his eyes, half-glaring at the walls. 

Sometimes Felix wasn’t sure if the fates liked him or hated him, because how could someone so wonderful and kind destined to be his soulmate? The soulmate he could never have, yes, but still. 

“That’s okay, Innie. I had a lot of fun with Hyukkie hyung, too. It’s been a while so there’s a lot to catch up on,” he smiled fondly. “Plus, I think they want to spend some time with your family, get to know them. I shouldn’t intrude.”

“You’re not intruding.”

“You’re too nice.”

“I mean it!”

Felix knew he meant it, but coincidentally, it wasn’t Jeongin he was worried about. “I know,” he replied softly. 

For a moment, they both stood there in silence. Felix wondered if there was something else that was bothering Jeongin, because the crease on his brow was still there. 

“Did anything happen?” he repeated, worried.

Instead of answering, Jeongin let out a quiet sigh, shaking his head. “Let’s just get some sleep,” he said as he held out his hand for Felix. 

Felix stared at it dumbly for a few seconds. This should be it, the moment he brings up their sleeping arrangement. 

His eyes shifted to Jeongin, who was now staring at him in confusion, as if he couldn’t understand why Felix just stood there instead of taking his hand. 

Something was definitely bothering him, Felix was sure of it. 

Knowing it wasn’t the right thing to do, Felix accepted his hand and let himself be tugged towards the bed. 

Tomorrow. He would talk to him tomorrow. 

Tonight he would offer him his company, he would treasure every second he was given, he would listen to his heartbeat, he would cling onto the warmth of his body, he would burn it into his memory.

And when it was finally time for him to drift away, he would hold onto the memory and pretend he was only falling asleep, with Jeongin right beside him. 

 

--

 

“Get out of my way,” the figure spat, voice hard, eyes hard. 

The other figure remained planted in his spot, standing with his shoulders squared, sword steady in his hands. “No.”

“This has got nothing to do with you!” the first figure yelled, and thunder roared behind him, as if mirroring his fury. 

There was something unseen swirling in the air, something thick and dark, something wrong. There was fear and terror in the air, but the other figure stood straight. 

That’s when he heard it, the growling. It sounded guttural, almost unnatural. 

“Get out of my way,” the first figure repeated, voice quiet and deadly. 

The second figure looked at him straight in the eyes, “My loyalty to my King,” he declared as he raised his sword, and then he charged forward.

--

 

Cold eyes stared down at pleading ones. 

“Spare him, please,” came the trembling whisper, breath wheezing. “Spare him, he doesn’t…” the words were muffled by something, so he couldn’t hear the rest of them.

The cold eyes stayed unwavering, the shadow stood straight, unmoving. Cold, unfeeling and detached.

 

Not for the first time, Felix jolted awake as he struggled to catch his breath. Taking in Jeongin’s sleeping face, he carefully slipped out of his arms, the bed. 

He needed to see the stars.

He needed to see them now. 

 

---

 

Hyunjin knew that Lee Minhyuk of the Lee Family was coming, and while he wasn't thrilled about it, he didn't think it would be this bad. 

The day when Hyunjin was glad a Noble was coming for a visit would probably never come, because he would despise them until the day he died, but he didn't think he'd feel this strongly about Lee Minhyuk because he barely ever saw him before to this. 

The Lee Family mainly operated in Duskwood. While Hyunjin had seen Lee Minhyuk and his father from afar in major banquets a few times in the past, Lee Minhyuk had never personally said anything to him that he could count as an insult. Well, he never interacted with him, so he guessed that was a given. 

Despite that, he found himself glaring at the man—there was just something about him that pissed Hyunjin off, something that rubbed him the wrong way. 

It was comforting to see that Jeongin shared his sentiment. Perhaps it wasn't so surprising, because Hyunjin knew Jeongin shared his sentiment towards Nobles very passionately. 

Besides, what's with him and Felix, anyway? Were they courting? The thought irritated him more than it should. There was no way Felix was working for him as his flower boy or something, right? He didn't even know what a flower boy was. 

Hyunjin was sure that Felix's tailored clothing was probably all Minhyuk's doing, though. 

There was no way they were soulmates, because Minho said Felix hadn't found his, right? 

If they weren't soulmates, and Felix wasn't working for him, then the only logical conclusion was that they were courting. 

But then, when he first came Jeongin was set on Felix—he wouldn't act that way if the two were courting, would he? He could probably ask Jeongin about it, maybe later. 

He should've sat somewhere else, not right across from the two. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the conversation, he found himself glancing at Minhyuk and Felix who kept talking in low voices with happy smiles on their faces.

If only he hadn’t been going out of his way to ignore Felix the past few days, he could've spoken up and tried engaging the other in a conversation or something. 

It would be weird if he just started talking to him again all of a sudden, after blatantly ignoring and avoiding him. 

He gripped his fork a little too tightly when he saw Lee Minhyuk reach out to tuck a strand of Felix's hair behind his ear. Felix barely reacted, looking like he was used to it or something. 

Suddenly Hyunjin lost his appetite, feeling a little sick. He felt himself feeling annoyed and irritated, and he could feel the words bubbling through his lips, most likely something unpleasant—but he managed to stop himself. 

Why was he feeling this way? Why did the sight of the two bother him this much?

Hyunjin didn’t want to think of it.

That night, he slipped out of bed wordlessly as he made his way to the courtyard, having woken up to a sense of heaviness settling in his chest. 

Even as he made his way through the East Wing, he knew he was going to find Felix there. 

When he spotted him in the distance, something that suspiciously felt like guilt swirled in his gut, knowing that he had ignored the feeling the past few days because he didn’t want to face the other. 

Before he was able to make his way there, though, another figure appeared. 

Hyunjin watched as Lee Minhyuk carefully approached Felix, as the other turned to face his friend. 

He watched as the Noble stepped closer, reaching out hesitantly.

He watched as Lee Minhyuk gently pulled Felix into a comforting hug, and he watched how Felix held onto him tightly, desperately. 

Hyunjin watched as Lee Minhyuk comforted Felix the way he was never able to do and he just stood there, rooted to his spot. 

There was something else now, something that swirled unpleasantly in his gut—it felt big and ugly and burning, it felt like something of his was just ripped away from his grasp, it felt wrong because that something was his. 

It took him a little while, to figure out what it was. 

He was being replaced. 

For as long as he remembered, ever since Jeongin and Felix arrived at the palace, the courtyard had been something of his. It was Felix’s and his, the place where they could forget the hostility Hyunjin had shown that first day, the place they could ignore the awkward and tense feeling that had always permeated the air whenever they were in the same room thanks to Hyunjin’s absolutely brilliant decision-making skills.

The courtyard in the middle of the night was where he found the person who truly understood what it was like to drown. To drown, and to continue drowning. To drown, and to have no idea how to make it to the surface—to live through the days despite the water filling their lungs. 

It was a place for Felix and him and the stars, and sometimes, an owl. 

The feelings flashed in his chest too quickly for him to process, there was shock, there was irritation, there was a bit of anger, but at the end, it was acceptance.

It was resignation.  

Perhaps Lee Minhyuk was courting Felix. Perhaps he was his soulmate. Hyunjin had no idea, but the way they gravitated around each other was quite telling. 

Swallowing heavily, he forced himself to turn around and return to the East Wing. At least Felix had someone to help him through the night. 

He spent the next few hours tossing and turning miserably, and before he knew it, the sun had risen. 

To say that he got up in a foul mood was an understatement. 

Even worse, they had guests to entertain, so he couldn’t exactly lock himself in his room to wallow and deal with whatever it was he was feeling, which was just great. He wasn’t too keen on getting to know Jeongin’s parents, not because of anything, but because Hyunjin tended to be guarded around parents in general, courtesy to his wonderful family. 

They weren’t entertaining Jeongin’s friends and family all day, Chan had mentioned that they probably wanted to spend some time together privately, but they try to have something scheduled daily, from picnics in the garden, afternoon tea at the at the terrace, tour of the palace, and so on.

Felix and Minhyuk had politely excused themselves from it yesterday, so they had afternoon tea without the two. It certainly didn’t help his mood when they did the same today, they were going to take Jeongin’s friend and family on a tour of the palace. 

Lee Minhyuk touched Felix so casually and effortlessly, and Felix never seemed to be bothered. They whispered to each other during mealtimes as they waited for the food to be served, talking in low voices that were too low for Hyunjin to hear, chuckling quietly at what the other said. They sat so close to each other that their elbows touched throughout the meal, but neither of them made the move to shift away. 

It was annoying. 

Hyunjin tried his best to ignore the two, he really did, but sometimes his eyes unconsciously strayed to them and he’d feel his chest tighten, he’d feel irritation clawing up his throat, he’d feel his hands clenching into fists. 

That night, when he felt the familiar feeling that would usually indicate Felix’s not-so-great night thanks to his nightmare, Hyunjin forced himself to stay in bed the way he had been doing the past few days and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t even bother forcing himself to sleep because he knew it’d be pointless. 

The fact that some… most of his mates had been doing something similar—they had been avoiding Felix in their own ways—remained an itch at the back of his mind. He wanted to figure out what it was all about, but he wasn’t particularly eager to breach the topic with them because he had been doing the same thing. 

It only got worse after the arrival of their guests.

Hyunjin hoped that if he avoided Felix long enough, if he ignored whatever was happening long enough, it would disappear by itself. Everything will return to normal. Maybe.

Hopefully. 

Of course, he didn’t want to make the other feel like he was mad at him, or that he had done something wrong, but he wasn’t sure if he preferred the alternative.

Unfortunately for him, that might not be possible, because on the third night after their guests’ arrival, Changbin had called them all to their private lounge, Jeongin included. It was almost midnight, but none of them were asleep just yet.

Changbin entered last, with Chan in tow, who was very deliberately staring at his shoes. 

“We need to talk,” Changbin declared. 

Swallowing the anxiety that was burning his throat, Hyunjin glanced around the room. He felt a little relieved when he saw anxious faces mirroring his own.  

He had a feeling that he needed to face whatever was happening between him and Felix sooner than he predicted. 

 

---

 

It had been three days after Jeongin’s friends and parents, as well as Lee Minhyuk’s arrival at the Silvercrest Palace and Changbin was already losing his patience. 

It wasn’t because of one thing in particular, but it was everything altogether. 

From his mates, to the guests, to the approaching banquet, to Felix, to his own feelings… The list went on and on. 

Changbin would like to think that he was one of the best when it comes to dealing with feelings. He was in touch with his own, he knew how to figure things out and how to handle it; but that didn’t mean he was like that all the time. 

This was a prime example. 

Right now, he wasn’t sure how to feel. 

He wasn’t sure how to feel because he had watched his soulmates in various stages of distress the past few days, and he could more or less guess what it was about. 

It was Felix, but it was also not just Felix, it was also the fact that they had another soulmate, too; although from the way they had been acting towards Felix, he knew that they were mainly torn about him. 

He wasn’t exactly sure what they were torn about specifically, but Chan was at least, easy to read. 

Perhaps it was because he had known him the longest. Or perhaps, it was just how blatantly obvious it was, the way he looked at Felix.

Either way, Changbin has had enough. He had given them days and no one had started talking, so he had to do something. 

"How much longer do I need to wait until you snap out of it and talk?" he asked Chan that evening.

Chan looked like he was caught in the act or something, face slightly flushed, eyes a fraction wider. He opened his mouth to say something, but Changbin was faster. 

"Don't say it's nothing, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, you do," he said firmly. 

For a short moment, Chan looked torn. Changbin kept his eyes trained on him and waited. They were going to talk today, he would make sure of it. 

Sighing, Chan ran his fingers through his hair, messing it a little and making the distress in his expression more palpable than before, "Binnie, I'm..." he trailed off, looking around the room helplessly. 

"This is about Felix," Changbin stated. Chan's eyes widened comically—Changbin would've laughed at him to ease the tension or something, if this was any other day. Unfortunately, he was tired of waiting for his soulmate to open up and talk to him, so he was more or less drowning in his own frustration as well. "You like him," he added curtly. "You're crushing on him and you feel guilty about it, aren't you?" 

Chan made an affronted noise

Chan was the eldest, and he had always been very attentive towards everyone in general, but there were exceptions. Usually, he'd be the first to notice when one of them wasn't feeling too well, when one of them was struggling internally with something. He was very good at compartmentalizing his thoughts and he'd usually put them all before himself, always eager to help resolve whatever was bothering them; but when he was drowning in guilt and self-deprecation, he sometimes lost sight of his surroundings. 

The fact that he tended to look at them as the people he needed to protect made him reluctant to rely on or seek help from them. That was just how Chan was, even though between Changbin and the others, they've been trying to help him stop that particularly bad habit of his.

He was a little better now, but there was still much to do. 

"Hyung?" Changbin tried again when Chan remained quiet. He could see clearly, the guilt clouding the older's usually clear eyes. 

"I'm sorry," Chan gritted out. His voice was quiet, but there was something else there, there was anger. 

Anyone else would step back or cower, maybe. But Changbin and his mates knew more than anyone else, that he was angry at himself. There were so many things about Chan that Changbin admired, so many good qualities. 

He had a strong sense of responsibility, he was always the voice of reason, he was sensible and patient, he was a good listener. 

He was also a perfectionist and a hard worker. 

He was hard on them because he trusted them. He knew their strengths and weaknesses better than they did. 

But he was also the hardest on himself. 

"I'm sorry," Chan repeated, voice stiff. 

Changbin let out a sigh, "Hyung," he started. "I can't read your mind, but I'm pretty sure I don't agree with whatever you're thinking," he said. He was way too familiar with the way Chan thought about himself, that was, in the worst way possible. "I...." Changbin paused. 

Felix was a great guy. 

Kind, sweet, thoughtful, and more charming than anyone had the right to be. From his affinity with animals to his unfairly attractive voice, Changbin wasn't blind to his charms. 

He would be lying if he said that he didn't feel anything when Minho expressed his suspicion. If he could choose their eighth, he'd choose Felix. He liked him, but even more than that, he could see how his mates liked him.

Contrary to belief, the way to Changbin’s heart was not through food, but through his soulmates.

It was nothing more than that, though. Changbin hadn’t crossed the threshold, he liked Felix normally. Platonically. 

He knew how easy it would be, though, to let himself feel more. It could be very easy, but right now, Changbin could confidently say that he did not have any romantic feelings towards Felix. 

Admittedly, watching him withdraw and get all cozy with Lord Lee hadn't been a pleasant experience, but that was because he could sense how distressed Jeongin and Chan were. Hyunjin, too, but Changbin couldn't decide if that was just because Lee Minhyuk was a Noble or if it was something else. Hyunjin was always in his worst mood when he was in the same room with a Noble or Gentry, after all. 

"I can't speak for the others, but I'm not mad at you," Changbin said, a little surprised by the fact that he actually meant it. "Lix is really nice and sincere, I don't think he was seducing you or anything, but—“ 

"No!" Chan interjected quickly, affronted by the notion. "No, he'd never do that, Bin-ah. You've seen him, he would never do something like that." 

"I know," Changbin said calmly. "That's why I'm not holding this against him.”

He wasn't exactly holding this against Chan, but this was uncharted waters. Changbin had never thought something like this would happen. He and Chan found each other when they were very young, they got along well and they had always thought that they would spend the rest of their lives together. Changbin was glad Chan was his soulmate, he had thought that way from the very beginning. 

Neither of them, none of their other mates had ever held any romantic affection towards those outside of their bonds. Not counting Jeongin, of course, because he was already head over heels for Felix when he first arrived—but his point stood.

Changbin had always been sure of himself, he wasn't really the type to get insecure. He had always understood that people had different strengths and weaknesses, different charms that were not comparable to each other, but there was that small, quiet part of his mind asking what was it he had that Changbin didn't? 

It bothered him a little, but he nipped it in the bud. There were a lot of things Felix had that Changbin didn't, just as there were a lot of things Changbin had that Felix didn't; that was just the way things were. 

"It's gonna be okay, hyung," Changbin said eventually. Their eyes locked, and he could still see the guilt and uncertainty in his hyung's eyes. "We'll talk and figure things out, together with everyone else, alright? That's how we resolve things, right?" 

"Right," Chan breathed, averting his eyes. "I'll... We'll all talk. I'll apologize to everyone." 

Changbin rolled his eyes and flashed him a half-smile, "Let's just talk first. Save the apologies for later. C'mon, let's find the others.”

That was how they found themselves in the lounge not long after. He had gathered everyone and they were going to talk. 

Finally. 

“So,” he began when they’ve all settled into their seats. “Hyung has something to say,” he said, turning to Chan. 

The older’s jaw was set, shoulders tense. Changbin knew he must be feeling horrible right now, so when his eyes finally met Changbin’s, he tried his best to seem as reassuring as possible. 

Changbin watched as Chan swallowed heavily before turning to the room, “I need to apologize,” he said, and then he snapped his mouth shut. 

A second passed, and then another. And then a few more. 

“Apologize?” Minho prompted. 

Chan’s eyes shifted to focus on him. “I… Felix…”

Changbin let out an exasperated huff. “Hyung is freaking out because he has a crush on Felix,” he said before he realized what he was doing. 

Chan’s head turned to him so quickly he could almost feel a whiplash, “It’s not a—“ he protested, but he stopped himself. Fists clenched, he avoided everyone’s eyes when he continued. “It’s wrong, I’m sorry. I have no excuse. You all deserve b—“

“Did you do anything with him?” Changbin cut him off. “Did you ever kiss—“

Chan’s whole face became so flushed that Changbin almost laughed out loud. “What?” he asked, seemingly flabbergasted. “No! Of course not! I would never—“

“Fates, you’re blushing like a teenager,” Minho joined in, and Changbin could see that he didn’t seem furious or anything, which was a good sign. 

Chan made an affronted noise, “I’m not blushing,” he argued, completely flustered. He cleared his throat like he was trying to regain his composure, and then that look was back on his face. That guilty, self-loathing, look. 

Changbin took the time to take a quick glance around the room. Seungmin seemed thoughtful, Minho looked like he was trying to figure the right moment to say what was on his mind. Jisung was shifting anxiously in his seat, while Hyunjin was staring—almost glaring—at his lap. 

Jeongin was staring blankly at Chan, like he couldn’t comprehend what was going on. 

So far no one was furious, and there had been no yelling. This had gone a lot better than Changbin had thought. He thought that at least Hyunjin or Jisung would be pretty upset, but they weren’t. They didn’t look completely fine with it, either, but Changbin couldn’t see anger in their expressions. 

“I’m sorry,” Chan repeated, voice quiet. “You don’t have to forgive me, I won’t make any excuses, because I have none. I have no idea how it got to this, or why I’m feeling this way, but I know it’s wrong. You guys are everything—more than anything I ever deserved, I ever wanted, and I…” he trailed off. “I’m truly sorry. I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll still have me, I—“

“Fates, hyung, you have a crush. It’s not the end of the world,” Minho said, rolling his eyes. 

“What hyung said,” Changbin agreed. “You sound like you’re confessing your sins in front of the fates or something,” he added lightly as he caught Minho’s eyes, relieved that the other seemed to be on the same page with him.

“Besides,” Minho drawled. “I don’t think you’re the only one on that particular boat. Right, Sungie?”

“W-what?” Jisung stammered, completely shocked that Minho had just put him in the spotlight like that. “Why are you asking me?”

Now that was news for Changbin. He knew Jisung had been upset lately, the younger was the one who’d become such quick friends with Felix, but he didn’t think it was anything more than that. 

Minho just smiled sweetly at Jisung, eyes gentle, almost encouraging, and Changbin was once again reminded that he wasn’t the only one who tended to notice things quickly, Minho did that well, too. 

“I… I don’t—“ Jisung tried before he stopped, curling into himself helplessly. “I’m sorry,” he simply said as he avoided everyone’s eyes, much like Chan earlier. 

Changbin let out a quiet sigh as he glanced around the room. 

Chan looked like he wanted to say something to Jisung, definitely to comfort him, but his own guilt was probably stopping him. 

Seungmin was staring at Jisung, seemingly in deeper thought. 

Minho was frowning now, probably because he didn’t mean to make Jisung feel guilty or uncomfortable. For some reason, Minho seemed okay with this whole thing. 

Jeongin looked like he was having the most mind-boggling day, he was gaping like he was struggling to process the conversation they just had. 

Hyunjin was sitting tensely, eyes trained on his lap. It was then Changbin realized he hadn’t said anything just yet, much like Seungmin and Jeongin, but at least he knew that Seungmin was thinking and Jeongin was trying to think. 

Hyunjin was his main concern, because he had disliked Felix, at least at the beginning. He was Changbin’s main concern because despite his otherworldly beauty, he could be very insecure sometimes. 

“Jinnie?” Changbin called, voice soft. Everyone’s attention immediately turned to Hyunjin. “Baby, it’s okay if you’re angry. This isn’t right, we all know it. It’s—“

“No,” Hyunjin muttered without lifting his head. His eyes were still on his lap, both of his hands were clenched to fists. “I need to tell you guys something.”

Again, Changbin caught Minho’s eyes, confused. The other shook his head slightly, indicating that he had no idea what this was about as well. 

“I…” Hyunjin started. Changbin could sense the hesitance in his voice, like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to tell them. “There’s something strange going on with Felix and me,” he breathed. 

Something strange?   

“We,” Hyunjin continued, swallowing heavily. “We’ve been meeting in the middle of the night.”

The response was immediate. 

Changbin could sense the atmosphere shifting, the air that seemed to have grown thicker in a split second, he could see how Seungmin and Jisung’s heads turned to Hyunjin too quickly, how Minho’s eyes widened, how Jeongin’s mouth hung open even more in horror—he could feel the unpleasant feeling betrayal seeping into his chest. 

“Not like that!” Hyunjin added quickly when he realized what he said. “Fates, not like that. I mean, we’re…” he trailed off, struggling for words. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “He has nightmares, lots of them,” he said eventually.

No one said anything in response. 

“That’s how… that’s how I found him the first time, in the courtyard. He goes there whenever he has a nightmare, and I’d stay with him for a little while, just until he calms down.”

“I… I know I’ll sound crazy, I don’t even know what’s going on, but… But I can sense it whenever he does. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, he’s not even our soulmate—but I do. It doesn’t make any sense, I sound crazy, but I promise I’m not. I’m not losing my mind, I—“

“Breathe, love,” Chan spoke softly as he reached out to offer comfort. They could all see how damp Hyunjin’s eyes were getting, how his breathing was getting increasingly frantic.

Changbin waited for Hyunjin to calm down, to gain some composure. “Let me get this straight,” he said slowly. “You can sense whenever Felix is having a nightmare, and you’ve been keeping him company when he does?”

Hyunjin gave a half-hearted shrug. “Something like that,” he muttered. “He helped me too when I’m… he helped me too, sometimes.”

The room was enveloped in silence for a brief moment, and Changbin didn’t know what to think. 

On one hand, he didn’t understand what was going on. On another, Hyunjin had somehow developed the ability to sense Felix’s nightmares? Changbin didn’t even think he could sense anyone else’s? Why Felix’s specifically? Why nightmares? 

He was also disappointed that Hyunjin hadn’t come to him or the others with his nightmares. 

He knew that the younger struggled with it from time to time, rarely, but more often than his other mates—they had practically drilled it into his head, that he could always wake them up when he had one. 

Changbin supposed it would be easier to go to someone who was already awake. Someone who was fighting a very similar battle. 

“There is something wrong, something strange going on, I agree,” Minho broke the silence, borrowing Hyunjin’s words. “I was fairly sure—I was sure that it was him, but he’s not, and now I don’t know what to think.”

Changbin wasn’t sure it was Felix, but he had thought that if he was their soulmate, it would explain his weird behavior. 

“Do you think it’s possible, that he’s our soulmate?” Jisung asked quietly. “I mean, if he was, it would explain his connection with Jinnie? We’ve all learned about it, how there are unique soulbonds?”

“We felt nothing,” Seungmin finally spoke up. He didn’t need to elaborate on what he was talking about, everyone knew he was referring to the bloody stunt Felix had pulled. “So… he’s not.”

“But if he’s not, then what is he?” Jisung pressed, face scrunched in a mix of confusion and desperation. 

That was a good question. 

Changbin would like to know the answer to that, because he knew that none of them were particularly easy to sway or seduce, not that Felix had tried doing anything like that to them. 

They’re not teenagers anymore, and they have each other—there were six, seven of them, for fates’ sake. There was more love to go around than they all knew what to do with.

Felix was beautiful and charming, but they had met a lot of people who were just like that. He was friendly, but whenever they went to banquets and parties everyone was nothing but friendly and pleasant with them, even though Changbin knew that most if not all of them were just trying to be in their good graces. 

If anything, that had made them very much not eager to get to know new people—they had each other, they didn’t need anyone else. 

But being with Felix was easy, it was easy to have him around, and maybe Changbin had more or less accepted him as one of their own long before he gave any of this a thought. 

He turned to Jeongin in reflex, and he could see how his mates did the same. 

Jeongin froze for a second before he blinked slowly, “What?” he asked warily. “Why are you all looking at me?”

“Jeongin…” Chan started hesitantly. He definitely wanted to start questioning Jeongin about Felix. After all, he had known him the longest.  

“Is Lee Minhyuk Felix’s soulmate?” Changbin found himself asking curiously. “Are they courting? They seemed close,” he said, because apparently, he was stupid like that. 

Jeongin’s eyes flickered to him for a second, he could see irritation and disgust in them, like Changbin was a particular dirt stuck on his shoes.

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, okay. 

“He’s been spending all his time with him,” Jisung added unhelpfully, and Changbin could see how Jeongin was just openly scowling right now. 

After a brief pause, Jeongin spoke up, “I don’t know,” his tone snappy, discouraging further questions. 

“I told you he said he hasn’t found his yet,” Minho reminded the room. 

Right, Minho did tell them that. But now they were back at square one. Sure, they’ve talked and Changbin now knew that not only Chan, but Jisung seemed to like Felix a little too much, too. Maybe even Hyunjin, too; maybe he had been glaring at Minhyuk not because he was a Noble, but because of Felix. 

Changbin hadn’t entirely figured out Minho and Seungmin just yet, but to him, it looked like Minho was not concerned about these new developments at all—he was instead still trying to figure Felix out. 

Seungmin had been the quietest of them all, so Changbin wasn’t entirely sure where he stood. 

At least Jeongin didn’t seem mad. Well, he did seem mad, but Changbin had a feeling that it had more to do with Lee Minhyuk than with… whatever this was. 

Fates. 

They were in such a mess. Changbin hoped they would figure it out, one way or another. 

 

---

 

Jeongin couldn’t believe what was happening. 

He wasn’t even sure how to feel about all of this. Felix was charming, of course he was, anyone who said otherwise would be lying; but Jeongin didn’t expect Chan to like him that much. Chan and Jisung? And his hyung had been spending time with Hyunjin?

Jeongin had no problem with that, not at all, he liked Hyunjin—they got along really well nowadays, but Felix had promised to wake him up when he’s having nightmares and he had only done it once.

From the way Hyunjin was talking about it, it sounded like Felix had nightmares every other day, which meant that he hadn’t been keeping his promise. 

The thought made him feel disappointed, maybe a little betrayed, too, because he wished Felix would rely on him as much as Jeongin relied on Felix. He wished he could be there for him just as much as he had been there for Jeongin, too. 

That particular conversation ended in… nothing, pretty much. They had started asking questions about Felix, and Jeongin had told them what he knew, despite the guilt stirring in his gut. 

It wasn’t his to tell, but he told them. He didn’t know much, anyway, Felix barely talked about himself that way. 

He told them what Felix told him, that his family had always lived in the forest. If anything, that just resulted in more questions—questions that Jeongin himself had, why? What for? What’s the reasoning behind it? 

In the end, they decided to call it a day because it was way past midnight. 

They made Jeongin think, though. 

Felix was… everything. He was charming, beautiful, kind, warm, thoughtful, and everything good. Did Chan and Jisung start liking him because he was just that charming, or was it something else? Minho was pretty convinced they were soulmates too, did that mean something? 

It had to mean something, right? They were Jeongin’s soulmates.

When Jeongin first met Felix, he had a feeling that he was his, he was pretty sure about it, too, the more he got to know him, until it was proven otherwise. If it was only him, he was probably just being delusional, but it wasn’t only him. 

Some of his other soulmates thought the same thing, too. That had to mean something, right? Or was Jeongin grasping at straws? Was he just being delusional again? 

What was going on with Felix and Hyunjin? Could Hyunjin really sense it when Felix was having a nightmare, or was it all purely a coincidence? He felt bad for doubting Hyunjin, but he didn’t know what to think. 

Lee Minhyuk’s presence really didn’t help with his increasingly distressed mood. 

Jisung was right, Felix had been spending all of his time with Minhyuk. He always declined their invitation to join them for anything—well, anything but mealtimes. Not that it made anything better, because they sat next to each other during mealtimes, and they were always speaking in low voices, exchanging knowing smiles, or even chuckling and giggling among themselves.

Jeongin also hated how Minhyuk touched Felix so casually. Or maybe, he hated that he never had the courage to do anything like that when they weren’t half asleep. 

They cuddled, they exchanged forehead kisses, for fates’ sake, but only when they were half asleep.

Jeongin had learned that Felix and Minhyuk weren’t soulmates, though, and they weren’t courting. Wooyoung and San, fates bless them, had decided to be the absolute champions they were and directly asked Felix about it. 

Felix said, and Jeongin quoted, no, we’re just friends, hyung. 

Wooyoung told Jeongin that he was pretty sure that the other wasn’t lying, because they all knew how he acted whenever he was, so Jeongin was relieved. 

At least he would be gone tomorrow. Tomorrow, Minhyuk would return to Duskwood, and Jeongin would finally have Felix to himself.

He couldn’t wait for today to end. 

As usual, Felix was already gone when he woke up this morning. Jeongin was a little surprised to see that while Minhyuk was already in the Dining Room, ready for breakfast, Felix was yet to be seen. 

As fucking usual, the Noble had saved him a seat, right next to him. Maybe Jeongin should take it. Sitting beside Lee Minhyuk for breakfast was far from ideal, but at least it meant that Felix wouldn’t be sitting next to him, so he could eat his breakfast without feeling like he wanted to throw his plate or something. 

“Did you sleep well?” his mom asked from beside him, and the plan evaporated into nothing. 

Jeongin was seated between his parents. If he left and took the seat beside Lee Minhyuk, what would happen to this seat? 

He imagined Felix sitting between his parents for a few seconds, and the thought was somehow a little funny. His parents liked Felix, they were really thankful that he had been staying with Jeongin; after all, he mentioned Felix a lot in his letters. From Lix hyung is with me, so I’m fine to it’s not bad, Lix hyung has been keeping me company, Felix was well in his parents’ good book. 

They still questioned the company he kept, though, one of them being Lee Minhyuk.

Almost everyone was there now, they were just waiting for Felix, Wooyoung, and San.

The three of them came together a few minutes later, Felix immediately going for the seat Minhyuk had saved for him, making Jeongin lose his appetite. 

Maybe it was because the room was silent, or maybe Jeongin had improved his hearing from trying to strain to listen in on Felix and Minhyuk’s conversation the past week, but he heard their exchange loud and clear. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” Minhyuk greeted, his eyes trained on Felix and the most annoying smile in the world plastered on his face. 

Jeongin had barely held himself from gagging or making a disgusted face. Felix was beautiful, but Minhyuk had no right to talk to him like that. 

“Good morning beautiful, yourself,” Felix replied quietly, but it was loud enough for Jeongin to hear.

Maybe it was loud enough for Chan to hear, as well, because the older was drinking a glass of water and he had started choking on it—Seungmin was now rubbing his back to help soothe him. 

They weren’t soulmates, they weren’t courting, he reminded himself.

Then what the fuck was going on? 

Were they saying this kind of thing the whole time they were whispering to each other, talking in low voices? 

The servants filtered in and served the food, and Jeongin simply pushed his food around, forcing himself to take a bite from time to time as he tried to swallow the mysterious bile in his throat.

It was fine. They weren’t courting, they weren’t soulmates. Minhyuk would be gone tomorrow.

Jeongin just had to be patient. 

He caught how Wooyoung and San were looking at him, seemingly empathizing with him. 

At the very least, Jeongin was glad to have them around. They disliked Minhyuk as much as Jeongin did—well, Wooyoung more than San, even though San had never verbally disagreed with them, at least not recently.

It was fine, Jeongin would be patient. 

He silently vowed never to offer to invite Minhyuk ever again, even if that made Felix happy. He could make Felix happy just fine, by himself.

 

---

 

Felix had a problem. 

He felt like he was being the worst friend ever, because even though he knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn’t bring himself to talk to Jeongin about it. 

He was being greedy. He knew he was being greedy. 

He needed to talk to Jeongin about their sleeping arrangement, and then he needed to apologize properly to his soulmates.

He needed to do it as soon as possible. 

Minhyuk was going home today, to Felix’s dismay. He was supposed to be grateful that his friend came at all, he knew, but he wished Minhyuk could just stay. Things always seemed so easy when Minhyuk was around, his friend was always cracking a joke or starting a banter when Felix least expected it, and it happened to be just what he needed nowadays. 

“I’ll write to you,” Minhyuk promised, face serious. He had handed his luggage to the guards, now he was in Felix’s room; they were bidding their goodbyes. “I’ll be back as soon as I’m done with the Committee. And then you can stay at my place for as long as you’d like.”

“Hyung,” Felix huffed fondly. “Just until I find my own place,” he corrected.

“Why spend money when you can save them instead?” Minhyuk asked incredulously. “You could stay with me forever, I’d be glad to have you around.”

“We’re not arguing about this again.”

“I’m not arguing with you, I’m merely stating facts.”

“Hyung, you’re leaving in like, ten minutes. Can you stop stating facts and just be a sweetheart for ten minutes?”

“I’m always a sweetheart.”

“By fates,” Felix let out an airy laugh. “Go now! Hurry! Get out of my room!” he started steering Minhyuk towards the door playfully. 

The older just laughed heartily as he let Felix have his way, but he stopped a few steps from the door, turning to him. 

"I almost forgot, here, open your hand," Minhyuk told him, and when Felix did, he put something in it. 

It was a ring. 

Felix blinked. 

"It's a friendship ring," Minhyuk explained quickly. "A Noble custom, really. I wanted to give it to you before you left but it wasn't done yet.”

"I have a matching one," he added as he raised his right hand, and Felix couldn't believe that he only noticed now, an identical ring on Minhyuk's usually bare fingers. 

Felix was speechless. 

Eyeing him warily, Minhyuk continued, "I don't know if you took it seriously or not, but you're the first friend I made in a very, very long time. More like, ever, actually. I..."

"For as long as I'd known, my father disliked me. It wasn't even because of anything, it's just because he's foolish and superstitious," he sighed. "But even when I was a child, I could sense it. Mother is his complete opposite, so of course, I have always loved her, growing up. I used to want to please my father back then, but I didn't know better."

"Mother used to tell me about her family and friends and they all just sounded so wonderful. Wonderful and different from the people I've met in my life. It's not like she was trying to make me hate Nobles, it's just that she doesn't really have any friends who are Nobles. They never accepted her fully, probably because of her Commoner background."

Minhyuk cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing, "Anyway, that's why I've always wanted to be friends with commoners, non-Nobles, regular folks… As you can probably guess, I never succeeded. Honestly, I've pretty much given up on befriending people, but then you came along," he said, averting his gaze sheepishly. "That first time we met, you were nervous, but you weren't..." he trailed off.

"At first, I thought that you probably didn't notice that I was a Noble or something, you were in such a hurry, after all, but the next time we ran into each other, you treated me normally, too," he said, a hint of gratefulness in his voice. "And you never looked at me like... you know.”

"...like what?" 

"Like I'm up to something," Minhyuk breathed. "Like I'm plotting something to make your life miserable, like I'm a walking red flag and—“

"Hyung," Felix interrupted, mortified by the words. "Of course not. You’re none of those things.”

Minhyuk visibly relaxed at his words, his expression melting into a small but genuine smile. "For the first time in my life, someone looked at me and saw me. Not the son of Lord Lee, or that suspicious Noble who liked to prance around the village sniffing out trouble," his smile got a tad bit wider at that. "I'm... I'm truly grateful for your friendship, Lixie, so when I remembered this tradition, I thought of you. You’re my first friend so I'm probably not very good at this, but—“

"Fates, hyung, no," Felix said quickly. "You're like, the greatest friend anyone could ever have, I mean it. I would be… I’m honored to be your friend.”

They stared at each other for a brief moment before Minhyuk broke the silence, “So, is that a yes to the ring?”

“Of course it’s a yes to the ring, hyung, thank you,” Felix said sincerely, pulling his friend into a brief hug. Pulling away, he added, “I have never received a friendship ring before, this looks amazing, I love it, hyung. Thank you.”

Minhyuk was grinning now, “I’m glad you like it. Make sure to keep it safe, alright?” 

“I’m not gonna lose the ring,” Felix huffed, crossing his arms. “I’m keeping it forever.”

“Good, because I’m keeping you forever.”

They continued going back and forth like that, at least until they were outside, stopping in front of the carriage that was prepared for Minhyuk.

Minhyuk politely and respectfully thanked Seungmin and the others for having him here, for letting him stay and everything, before he bid everyone goodbye. 

He went to Felix last, pulling him into a warm hug. Felix closed his eyes, savoring the moment, dreading that he had to be awkwardly alone to face the disaster he had caused now that Minhyuk would be gone. 

“Soon,” Minhyuk whispered quietly to his ear, and Felix steadied himself. He had to stop being such a coward and face the consequences of his actions. He needed to be a decent friend and start apologizing, he needed to right the wrongs. 

When they both finally pulled away, there was a small smile on Felix’s face. “Safe travels,” he said.

Minhyuk returned the smile before he gave his shoulder one last squeeze, climbing into the carriage and waving behind the window.

Felix watched as the carriage went, he watched until it disappeared from his sight, not realizing that the others, even Jeongin’s parents, were still there with him. 

He felt an arm slinging across his shoulder, and then Wooyoung was beside him. “C’mon, Lixie,” he said. “Spend some time with your hyungs today, will you?”

The realization slowly dawned on him. 

Right, Wooyoung and San were still there. He wasn’t alone, not just yet. 

The smile that bloomed on his face was bright, happy, and genuine. “Okay, hyung.”

 

---

 

The familiar scent of blood pierced through the air. He took a deep breath, soothed by the familiar scent, the sign of a job well done. 

“Spare him, please,” came the trembling whisper, breath wheezing. “Spare him, he doesn’t know…” she said, using the last bit of strength she had, she grabbed the end of his robe. “He knows nothing, I told him nothing—he wouldn’t be…”

He stared down at her, unwavering. He hoped she’d burn it in her mind, the sight of him staring down at her, satisfied that he would be the last thing she saw before she died, because how could she ask for mercy? How could she ask him to spare her son when nobody spared him?

“Please…” she wheezed. “Please spare him, I promise he wouldn’t…”

Whatever she was going to say next vanished into the night along with her breath, and he watched as life faded from her eyes. 

The man took another deep breath, letting the anger settle in his gut. 

The boy. The last one. 

He just needed to find the boy, and then he could put this troublesome family out of his mind and start focusing his energy on what truly mattered, what started it all.

Who started it all. 

They would pay, he would make sure of it.

 

 

Deep in the darkness, Seol Insu opened his eyes, feeling like he just had a distant dream, something of the past—one he had forgotten the moment his consciousness returned to him.

It mattered not. 

Soon, he would be back on his feet. 

It would all come to an end. 

Notes:

hi, sorry for the lack of update last week! in short, i had a writer’s block, my traitorous brain started spouting out ideas for new stories, and then i spent a few days enjoying fics in another corner of ao3 😂

the next chapter should be up next wednesday (unless i finish early or late). hope you enjoyed this chapter!

ps. i’d really appreciate it if you guys could tell me whether you prefer single spaced (like this chapter) or double spaced (like the pervious ones) chapters, thanks!

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Chapter 28: Glimpse of Darkness

“So,” Wooyoung started, his lips pulled into a small pout. They were gathered in Wooyoung’s bedroom, minus Jeongin. “It seems like you don’t miss me as much as I’ve missed you,” he said, sulking. 

Felix blanched, “I missed you!” he insisted. “I missed you guys. It’s just that—I want Innie to spend time with you and his soulmates probably want to know you guys better and like, Hyukkie hyung was here, so, you know, I didn’t want to intrude or get in the way of—“

“Don’t listen to him, Lixie,” San interrupted kindly. “Youngie’s just messing with you.”

“No I’m not,” Wooyoung interjected. “We’ve been here for more than a week and we barely saw you. We’re here to see both you and Innie, you know. We were worried about the both of you.”

“Hyung—“

“And what’s this nonsense about intruding? You’re family, Lix, how could you be intruding? We all enjoy your company and you’re practically Jeongin’s favorite,” Wooyoung huffed. 

“No, I,” Felix sighed. “It’s just… it’s not you guys I was worried about.”

There was a brief silence, and then Wooyoung caught San’s eyes. 

“You were worried about the princes?” San asked tentatively. 

“Why?” Wooyoung pressed. “Have they ever made you feel like you’re not welcome here?”

“No!” Felix interjected quickly. “They’re great, hyung. Fates, they’re really kind. You see how much Innie likes them, he wouldn’t be like that if they’re anything less than great.”

Wooyoung hummed, “You’re right. Innie wouldn’t have lasted a day if they’re assholes.”

San quickly elbowed him, eyes darting around the room as if he were afraid someone would overhear them. They were lounging in Wooyoung’s bedroom. Jeongin, his parents, and the heirs were spending time together somewhere, Mr. Yang had indicated that he wanted to talk to them so when Felix excused himself, Wooyoung and San quickly followed his lead.

“So how do you like it here, hyungs?” Felix asked, eyes darting between Wooyoung and San curiously. “The princes, they’re really nice, right?” 

Wooyoung plopped back onto the bed, closing his eyes, “It doesn’t really mean anything,” he said quietly. “Of course they’re nice to us. Jeongin’s their soulmate and we’re like, his best friends, so of course they’re playing nice.“ 

The words were true, and somehow, they made Felix’s stomach churn a little. Maybe that was it. They were all just being nice to him because he was Jeongin’s friend. 

“Right,” he agreed before he added to reassure them, “Well, me too, hyung. I’m Innie’s friend, so of course they’ve been really nice to me. You don’t need to worry.” 

“Nah,” Wooyoung said without opening his eyes. “You’re a different case.” 

“I am?” Felix asked incredulously, confused. Wooyoung opened his eyes as he turned to look at him. “Why?” 

Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something, but San joined in before he managed to get a word out. “What he meant to say was that, since you’ve been here for a while, you would’ve had more opportunities to watch them and, you know, to interact with them,” he explained quickly. “You’d know if they’re putting a front, like, do they act different when Jeongin’s not around? Are they only kind when he’s around? That kind of stuff.” 

“Oh,” Felix said brilliantly. Right, that would make sense. Minhyuk wondered about the same thing. “They’ve been nice even when Innie’s not around, hyung. They’re kind, and I think they really like him,” he said sincerely. “And they really care about the Kingdom, too! They’re hardworking. I think they’ll be great kings in the future.” 

Wooyoung and San did another one of their silent conversation with their eyes again as Felix watched. 

“Kings, huh…” San thought out loud. “Innie will be a king,” Wooyoung added, shaking his head slightly. “This is so…” 

“Surreal?” San supplied.

“Weird,” Wooyoung said. “I’m not saying that he won’t be a good king or anything, heck, he could probably teach those Nobles a thing or two about how to be a decent human being, but…” he trailed off. “We’ve known him forever. It’s just a little weird to think that he’s gonna be a king.” 

Felix nodded in understanding. He didn’t have a childhood friend or anything, but the person he had known the longest was his uncle, and Felix supposed if one day he suddenly told him that he was gonna be a king, weird would be the perfect word to describe how he’d be feeling. 

“Plus, I’m worried about him,” Wooyoung sighed. San nodded in agreement, so he remained silent, urging him to continue. “It’s just… he’s not complaining about this whole king thingy. We all… we know that this isn’t something he ever imagined or wanted for himself, and yet… he hasn’t complained about it. Not even once.” 

San shook his head slightly, “Knowing him, he probably just doesn’t want us to worry.” 

That sounded just about right. Jeongin was thinking of everyone, that was why he decided to stay at first. “Yeah,” Felix agreed quietly. “Innie is… he had a hard time, at first. He was prioritizing the kingdom and everyone else when he decided to stay but… I think he genuinely likes them now,” he looked up to catch his friends’ eyes, giving them a reassuring smile. “At the very least, as friends. I’m not entirely sure how it’s gonna work beyond that. After all, there’s that person he likes back home,” he sighed softly. 

Every time Felix remembered that, there was an ache, a heaviness. He wished Jeongin could be with the person he loved, the person he literally cried for. Felix wondered how it all gonna work out. He wished he could offer Jeongin a solution, but he couldn’t really think of anything. 

“The person he likes back home?” San repeated carefully, interrupting Felix’s line of thought. 

Felix blinked before he remembered. “You guys never told me about it!” he said, tone accusatory.

San and Wooyoung’s expressions went blank for a moment. 

Felix rolled his eyes, “You guys never told me that Innie has his eyes on someone!” he exclaimed, his lips forming a slight pout. “I mean, of course you didn’t have to, especially if he didn’t want to share it with me just yet, but… if I’d known, I wouldn’t have pushed him to give his soulmates a chance that much,” he swallowed, feeling guilt swirling within him. “Now he’s here and they’re not, and I bet that Innie misses them a lot,” he said, eyes downcast. 

A smacking noise interrupted Felix’s rant, and he looked up to see his friends. Wooyoung, who was now sitting up, had his face in his hands and San was staring at him weirdly. 

Felix blinked slowly, baffled at their reaction. “What?” 

“Nothing,” San said smoothly. He was smiling, but it looked like a grimace. “It’s just… you’re right. Poor Innie.” 

Wooyoung let out a mirthless laugh, “Fates,” he groaned as he used his fingers to sweep his hair back. “Yeah. Poor Innie. I’m gonna give him the biggest hug later,” he promised, sounding strangely determined. 

Felix gave them a sad smile. “I wish there’s something we could do to help,” he said glumly. 

“Well, you should also give him the biggest hug, I’m sure that’ll cheer him up,” Wooyoung told him. “Actually, while you’re at it, maybe you can also give him a k—ouch! Hey!” he protested indignantly when San pinched his arm, rubbing the area to ease the pain. 

“Give him your time,” San finished, turning to Felix. “He’s been missing you because he hasn’t been able to spend time with you. You know how he feels about Lee Minhyuk.” 

Wooyoung was now grumbling and glaring half-heartedly at San as he rubbed his arm. 

“Right,” Felix sniffled. “I wish you guys could just get along, one of these days.” They were all great people, and they were nice to Felix. Why couldn’t they just be nice to each other as well?

They talked some more, Felix asked about how everyone was doing back home, and his friends told him about their parents, about the merchants and everyone else. They told him about the walls. 

And then, they told him about the soil and the plants. “We think something’s wrong with the soil,” San told him. “It’s drier. Unhealthy. The farmers have gone to the sorcerer to get fertilizer, even enchanted ones, but nothing seemed to work.” 

Felix frowned at that, wondering why Hayeon hadn’t mentioned it to him. He wondered what he’d see if he went to Duskwood now. Had the rotting spread beyond the forest, into the villages? 

The fields were located at the outermost part of Duskwood, the closest to the forest, so it would make sense if the rotting had spread, it would’ve reached the fields first. 

The thought worried him. He kept it for later, promising that he’d send Hayeon a letter and ask her about it.

Later on that night, when Jeongin snuggled closer to him, Felix finally made the decision. He’d do it, and he’d do it now. 

“Can we talk, Innie?” he asked, voice barely a whisper. 

Jeongin let out a quiet grunt as he pulled away, although he kept his arm around him. Felix did the same. He could see him trying to blink the sleep away. 

“What is it, hyung?”

Swallowing, Felix braced himself. “I wanted to talk to you about our… sleeping arrangement.”

He could feel Jeongin tensing now. “…What about it?”

“Uh…” great. He had no idea how to say this. “Do you think that maybe we should make… some changes?” 

There was a few beats of silence. 

And then, Jeongin physically flinched away from him, retracting his arms as he withdrew. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeongin said, sounding a little choked up, sounding hurt. “Am I—have I been making you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, hyung, I—“ 

“No!” Felix disagreed quickly. “No, that’s not it, Innie. I love our sleepovers,” it’s warm, it’s comfortable, it feels safe, he didn’t say. “But I… I don’t know if it’s okay?” The expression on Jeongin’s face was soon replaced by confusion. Felix let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

“What do you mean?” He asked slowly.

Felix steadied himself mentally before speaking up, “Your… your soulmates,” he breathed. “It’s easy to misunderstand, misinterpret this. And maybe—maybe this isn’t appropriate. I’ve heard… I don’t want to cause trouble,” he said helplessly, fidgeting as he tried to find the right words. 

“My soulmates?” Jeongin repeated incredulously before pausing. “Did anyone say anything, hyung?”

Felix shook his head, “No, no. It’s just, I was just thinking, you know. I’m not sure if this is… if they’re okay with this.”

“With sleepovers?”

“Yes,” Felix said, scrunching his nose lightly. They were just having sleepovers, they were just  sleeping together at night, friends do that. He knew that, that was exactly how he thought of it, but that was not how other people thought about it, which was proven by his conversation with Yeonjun. 

“I’m sure they’re fine with it,” Jeongin said confidently. 

“Did they tell you that?”

“…No.”

“Innie—“

“I’m sure they’re fine with it,” Jeongin repeated. Even in the darkness, Felix could see how his lips were pulled into a slight pout, which was cute. He said nothing back, hoping that his silence would suffice. “Fine, I’ll ask them about it,” he finally relented. 

Well, that wasn’t exactly what Felix was aiming for. He was hoping that they could just alter their sleeping arrangement, he did not want Jeongin to ask his soulmates whether they were okay with it. 

Did they know about this, about their sleepovers? If Yeonjun and the staff knew, surely they did, too? What if they didn’t, and Jeongin asking the question would just make them even more upset with Felix? 

Wait, would they even be that upset if they didn’t know? 

Fates, Felix had no idea. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Felix mumbled. “I mean, maybe we should, uh, stop.”

Jeongin’s face fell. “But you said you love our sleepovers.”

“I do!” Felix reassured him. “I do, but maybe…”

“I do, too, hyung,” Jeongin said, voice quiet. “I love our sleepovers. It was my idea, remember?”

“Oh,” Right. It was Jeongin’s idea, at first. Somehow the thought made him feel lighter, less guilty. “I mean, if you’re sure?”

Jeongin huffed. “I’m sure,” he said. “I’ll talk to them, okay? You’ll see. They’re fine with it. They already know that I—“ he faltered, clamping his mouth shut all of a sudden. 

Felix waited for a few seconds, but he didn’t continue. “That you…?”

“That I… like having sleepovers.”

“Oh,” Felix said brilliantly. Jeongin averted his gaze, seemingly a little embarrassed. He found it cute. “Me too. Wait, maybe we should do one with the hyungs. They’re going home soon.”

Jeongin grimaced at that. “San hyung snores.”

Felix laughed. “Must sound like music to Youngie hyung, judging from how often he sneaks out at night.”

“I knew it,” Jeongin huffed. “I never caught them or anything, but I had a feeling. Not surprising, given that they could barely keep their hands off each other. I bet Uncle and Auntie have no idea?”

“Nope,” Felix said. “Well, not that I know of.”

The only reason Felix caught Wooyoung in action was because he had missed home a little too much his first month in Duskwood, so he always spent about half an hour just staring out the window, at the sky, at the trees, before he slept. 

The thought of home made him ache. He missed the forest, he missed his uncle, he missed his friends. 

He had no doubt that once he went back, he’d miss everyone else, though. 

 

---

 

Seungmin was, for the lack of a better word, exhausted. 

He wasn’t just physically exhausted, but he was also mentally exhausted. He was exhausted in all senses. Physically, he’d been working extra hard to prepare himself for Jeongin’s social debut, for the upcoming banquet and consequently, his first public appearance, all while managing his other responsibilities. Granted, he hadn’t been working on it alone, everyone else was helping him, but still. 

Mentally, he’d done a whole lot of thinking. 

It all began at the revelation about Felix’s mom. 

Suddenly, what happened that night made sense—the way Felix reacted, the sadness and fear in his eyes. 

Seungmin felt bad, he felt horrible. He also felt embarrassed beyond measure, because here he was speaking about courage and whatnot in front of Felix who had lost his mother when he was barely a child. 

Shame had been his constant companion since then, and while he wasn’t actively ignoring Felix like the rest of his mates were, he knew he hadn’t been acting normally. He had been awkward, he had been trying to avoid him whenever possible. 

Felix definitely noticed, because it had been days since the other last sought his company. 

Seungmin wasn’t sure what to do, especially because things weren’t going so well, or at least, not as well as he’d preferred. 

The culprit of the Redmont incident hadn’t been caught, and he had received reports about suspicious gatherings concentrated in the capital earlier this week.

“We’re looking into it,” Mr. Park, their Royal Advisor, explained. “We haven’t been able to catch them in action, but we’ve received reports from some civilians. The guards have been notified, but they’re surprisingly sneaky.”

Seungmin felt his stomach drop.

He hoped this had nothing to do with the rumors about rebellion. Fates. He wouldn’t know what to do if this group, whatever it was, was of the rebellion. That would mean that the rebellion was not just a rumor, that it was real. 

It would mean that there were people actively working against him and his family, there were people who wanted them gone. 

“Put more guards into it,” Minho said, voice stiff. “I want something by the end of the week.”

Mr. Park bowed his head slightly. “Understood, Your Highness.”

Seungmin bit down his lower lip, anxious. Why did it feel like nothing was going their way recently? 

That night, he spent his time in the library, reading a book titled Strategical Tactics to Intelligence Gathering. He felt eyes on him, and he didn’t need to turn to know it was Felix, because everyone else would’ve just come over to him. 

They were fine, but things had just been awkward lately because Seungmin could barely look him in the eye. Not because of anything, but because he was embarrassed. Ashamed.

He should probably get a grip, though, because judging from the way Felix apologized to him back then, he probably thought that Seungmin was still mad or something. 

Seungmin turned, fully expecting to see Felix peeking from behind the bookshelves or something, but he was gone. For good measure, he stood and walked over, but the other wasn’t there. 

Expression pinched into a frown, Seungmin made a mental note to approach the other soon. As soon as possible. Preferably tomorrow. He needed to clear things up. 

One second he was thinking of that, the next second he was out of the library. He didn’t want to procrastinate. It would be better to clear things up now. 

Unfortunately for him, Felix was nowhere to be seen. 

Seungmin made his way to the west wing, specifically to Felix’s room. It was getting late, so he should be there. 

He found him in the hallway, the other almost made it to his room. 

“Lix,” he called out. Felix turned to him so quickly, expression surprised. “Can we talk?”

Eyes widening for a fraction, Felix gave him a hesitant nod before approaching. Seungmin turned and led the way, he wasn’t entirely sure where they were going, his mind was rather full with the things he was going to say. 

Not long after, they found themselves in front of the fountain in the courtyard. The night was chilly, but Seungmin could barely register the cold—he felt it, his hands were cold and his cheeks were freezing, but he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to really think of it.

“I’m sor—“

“I wanted to apologize,” Seungmin blurted out. 

“—ry…” Felix finished. “What?”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Seungmin said firmly. “I should be the one apologizing. I’ve been…” he trailed off. “I’ve been too embarrassed to face you.”

Felix looked like he had trouble believing what he just heard, he looked completely befuddled. “Embarrassed?” he repeated. “Why?”

Why wouldn’t he? 

“I talked to you about being brave and about my mother, not knowing that you’re…” Not knowing that you’ve already lost yours, he couldn’t say. “And it’s just so embarrassing, because what do I know about that? You’ve already gone through something that… that I can’t even imagine, and…”

And he had no right to talk, to lecture him about anything. 

“You can’t compare it like that,” Felix said, voice quiet but firm. “When you told me about your mother, it really helped. It really, really did. And I’m not… brave. I’m probably the biggest coward you’ve ever met,” he smiled, but Seungmin hated it, because it was a self-deprecating smile. 

“No you’re not.”

Felix’s eyes were gentle as he spoke. “Yes I am,” he paused before continuing. “For the longest time, I’ve been running away from it. For the longest time I’ve been trying to forget her—I’ve been forgetting her. Everything about her had been… tucked in the corners of my mind, out of sight,” he sighed, shaking his head slightly. “I didn’t want to remember her, because it hurts too much.”

“When I look at you, I’m reminded of my cowardice, because you’re so… you. You’re smart, hardworking, and even when you have the whole kingdom on your shoulders, you stand straight.“

And that was just too much, because Seungmin didn’t feel like that at all. He shook his head, disagreeing silently, but Felix just gave him an amused smile. 

“When you told me about your mother, it reminded me of mine in the best way. It reminded me of how much I’ve missed her, it reminded me of the good times I had with her. I’ve been too scared of remembering the hard parts that I’ve forgotten the good parts, too,” he admitted softly, sheepishly. “These days when I remember her, I don’t try to avoid it as much, and I have you to thank.”

The thing was, the words sounded genuine. Seungmin knew Felix meant every word, but he couldn’t help but feel unworthy of them. He didn’t do anything, he simply said things when it wasn’t his place to say anything, and Felix was thanking him. 

“So thank you, Seungmin-ah,”

Seungmin couldn’t believe that it was happening again.

He came to apologize, to set things straight and to help Felix understand that he wasn’t mad at him. He came to make sure that Felix would stop looking so guilty, because he had nothing to be guilty for, and here he was. Somehow, it felt like he was the one being comforted, being helped. 

Again, he shook his head, weakly this time. “I did nothing,” he said quietly before he averted his gaze, turning to stare at the fountain. 

He could hear a quiet huff coming from Felix, sounding like he disagreed with him, but the other said nothing. 

They stood there in silence for a little while, the sound of water helped soothe their minds. 

In all honesty, Seungmin wasn’t entirely sure why they were still here. He cleared things up, didn’t he? He apologized, he told Felix that he had nothing to be sorry for, and he’d told him the reason he had been acting weirdly lately; yet somehow, it didn’t feel that way.

It felt like there were still things left to say. 

Letting his instincts take over, Seungmin felt himself turning to face Felix before the words spilled over. “I’m scared.”

Their eyes met, and Seungmin watched as Felix’s face twisted, like Seungmin’s words had pained him. “I know.”

In a last attempt to stop himself, Seungmin bit his lips. It was futile, though, because apparently, once you let the words out, there was no stopping them. 

“Every day, I’m—“ he inhaled a shaky breath. “I’m scared every day,” he admitted. 

Because he was. Every day he’d wake up and wonder if this was the day. If he’d finally get the news he’d been dreading his whole life. 

Every day he’d start his day praying to the fates.

Please, please don’t take her, he’d pray. Please, not today, he’d pray.

He’d end his day in the same manner. 

Sometimes it felt like too much. Sometimes it felt suffocating that he started thinking mad thoughts; like how he hoped it would just happen so that he could stop anticipating, so that he could stop waiting with bated breath.

The thought made him feel like the worst son in the world. It would usually take him a few seconds to realize what he was thinking, to snap himself out of it and to start apologizing profusely. To what, to whom, he didn’t know. To anyone who could hear his thoughts. To the fates. 

To his mother. 

“I’m sorry,” Felix whispered gently. 

Swallowing thickly, Seungmin gave him a shaky smile. “Me, too.”

Things were not okay. 

He didn’t feel okay, but somehow, it felt like just what he needed. 

Felix didn’t tell him everything would be okay, he didn’t tell him that things would work out somehow, that his mother would be alright, but somehow, Seungmin felt a little bit better. 

Maybe he needed this, too. Maybe he needed someone who would be straight with him, who would be there with him in silence, who would offer their company without the need to fill the silence with empty promises, because Seungmin knew.

He knew that whatever was happening with his mother was out of anyone’s hands.  

No one but the fates themselves could tell him that everything would be okay. Anyone else would be lying, because they couldn’t know. They couldn’t be sure of it. 

Seungmin appreciated the reassurances, he knew they meant well. He knew they meant it when they said it, he knew that his mates wished fervently that things would turn out okay for her. They would probably bend reality for him, if it was possible at all.

But at the end of the day, that was all that they were. Wishes.

Seungmin liked it, appreciated it, but he liked this too. Whatever it was called. 

“Would you tell me more about her?” Felix’s voice snapped him back to the present. “Would you tell me more about your mother?” 

A smile was starting to form, he could feel the corners of his lips twitching upwards. He was a little surprised when he realized that, yes, he would very much like to tell him about his mother. He would love to talk about her. 

“Yes,” Seungmin breathed. “Yes, of course.” 

If Seungmin stumbled into his bedroom a few hours later, way past midnight—in fact, the sun would be up in a few hours—he didn’t feel an ounce of regret. If he was sleepy throughout breakfast and pretty much for the rest of the day, no one really said anything about it. 

He didn’t regret it, that was a night well spent. Sharing the memories he had of his mother with Felix felt like the right thing to do. Sure, he might be sleep-deprived now but he felt a lot lighter. 

The next evening, he was lounging in the living room with Jeongin and Hyunjin, waiting for dinner time. Jeongin had just finished with his lessons for the day, and he was in a pretty foul mood, which was probably why he chose to stay here with them instead of seeking his parents or friends as usual, while Felix was probably spending time with Wooyoung and San. 

Seungmin felt a little guilty that Jeongin still had to attend his lessons when his friends and family were here, but there was nothing he could do. The banquet was quickly approaching.

“I haven’t memorized the Twelve’s domains and their area of focus,” Jeongin grumbled, slumping on the sofa. He looked like he was sporting a headache. 

“It’s fine, don’t bother,” Hyunjin said from across him. 

Seungmin decided to simply listen, bringing his eyes back to the book he was reading. Not that he was actually reading anything now, since his attention was on the two.

“…Really?”

“Uh huh,” Hyunjin said. “I’ll whisper it to you or something, if needed. I, unfortunately, have it all memorized ever since I was like, five.”

Jeongin grimaced in sympathy, but Seungmin could see the glint in his eyes, looking at Hyunjin like he hung the stars in the sky or something. He definitely felt more grateful than he was showing. 

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Seungmin joined in, offering Jeongin a reassuring smile. “You’ll be with us at all times.”

Hyunjin nodded. “We’ll handle the talking. You probably won’t need to talk. Unless you want to, of course,” he added hesitantly.

“No, thanks,” Jeongin said quickly. 

Hyunjin sent him an amused, knowing smile. 

Hyunjin was right, there was nothing to worry about—at least, Seungmin would make sure that there was nothing to worry about. They would attend the banquet, go through awkward, polite conversations, and then they would go home. It was only meant to be Jeongin’s first public appearance, anyway, not his social debut. 

He was silently dreading the banquet, but he knew it was something he needed to get used to—something he needed to be good at. Once they were coronated, they would find themselves in more social gatherings and meetings a lot more often, after all.  

That night, he was joined by Chan. 

Seungmin would like to state that he did not have any trouble sleeping. At least, he shouldn’t have any trouble sleeping, considering he barely slept the night before.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case because Chan was restless. Seungmin knew that the older was probably doing it without realizing it, but after the twelfth sigh in the past ten minutes—yes, he was counting—he gave up sleeping and turned to him. 

He could see the guilt in Chan’s face. He was opening his mouth, probably to apologize, but Seungmin was faster. 

“So,” he started. “What are you going to do?”

A few seconds passed, and then a few more. Chan stared at him blankly. “Do?” he asked. “About what?”

“Really, hyung?”

Chan closed his eyes before he let out a long, tired sigh. He was frowning now, looking like he was torn about it. “Nothing,” he said eventually. “I’m going to do nothing.”

Seungmin raised his eyebrows, “Really?”

When Chan popped his eyes back open, they glinted in the darkness. “Of course,” he said, face serious. “He’s not our soulmate, end of discussion. This will pass.”

Seungmin simply hummed quietly in response, calculating. He didn’t think it would pass; he had known Chan almost his whole life and the older had never had a crush before, had never shown any interest in anyone other than his soulmates. He stayed quiet, though, it was probably best for him not to voice his disagreement out loud. 

Knowing Chan, he had probably thought of a seven-step plan on how to stop crushing on Felix or something, not that Seungmin thought it would work. Besides, even if it did work, that didn’t mean it would work for Jisung; not to mention, Jeongin.

Jeongin was probably a lost cause. Not that Seungmin wanted to change how he felt about Felix or anything, in fact, Seungmin thought that Felix and Jeongin looked good together. He actually liked seeing them together so it was rather hard to keep his poker face around Lee Minhyuk.

Yeah, he definitely liked seeing Jeongin and Felix together more than he thought. 

That didn't matter anymore, Minhyuk was gone.

Now Seungmin wouldn’t have to deal with Jeongin’s terrible mood, Hyunjin’s pointed glare, Chan’s pathetic attempt to appear unbothered, and Jisung’s sulking.

Fates. At least he had one less thing to worry about.

 

---

 

Jisung didn’t mean for things to be like this.

He didn’t mean for things to be awkward, but that was exactly how things were. 

He had run into Felix when he was making his way to one of his hiding places, and now they were just standing in awkward silence, trying to avoid each other’s eyes. 

At least, that was what Jisung was doing. He had no idea if Felix was doing the same thing, since he wasn’t looking. 

“Sungie—“ 

“I have a meeting to attend,” Jisung blurted out before he could think. Despite his efforts, his eyes shifted to Felix and he watched as his face fell.  Jisung hated that he was the reason, but he needed to get out of here. He couldn’t do this. Not yet. 

“Oh,” Felix said softly. “Okay.” 

Not trusting himself to say anything, Jisung gave him a stiff nod before he hurried away, fighting the urge to glance back, to stop and turn around, to stay and talk. 

He was a mess. He couldn’t face whatever this was when he was such a mess.

He didn’t have a meeting to attend. In fact, he was just going to go to one of his hiding places and have a quick nap so that he could stop thinking for a moment. 

Sighing mentally, Jisung made his way through the palace aimlessly, feeling too restless to decide on a place. 

In the end, he found himself in the library, fully expecting it to be empty because Minho and Felix mostly went there in the mornings while Seungmin would be there late at night, but it wasn’t as empty as he thought.

Jeongin was there. He was just sitting, no book in sight. 

“Hey,” Jeongin greeted him. 

“Hey."

Jisung took a seat next to him, and they settled in silence.

The silence stretched between them. Dust floated in the rays of light, creating a hushed atmosphere heavy with unspoken words. 

“Are you okay, hyung?” Jeongin broke the silence, voice hesitant. 

Jisung sighed. “I don’t know,” he said eventually. “I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. How did we get here?” 

How did he get here? 

For a little while, Jeongin didn’t say anything, and Jisung was fine with it. He wouldn’t know what to say, too.

“My parents are soulmates,” Jeongin spoke up eventually. “So are a lot of the people I know, Wooyoung hyung’s and San hyung’s parents, our neighbors…” he trailed off. “But not everyone. There’s a couple who lived near the market back home, the Shins. They’re not soulmates,” he said, and Jisung finally turned to him. “They’re the happiest couple in town. Everyone could see how much they love each other.” 

Jisung wasn’t ignorant. 

He knew that there were people, couples, married couples, who weren’t soulmates. Granted, it was rare to see—at least for him. The Nobles and Gentry took soulmates seriously, and here in the capital, where most Nobles opted to stay regardless of their main estate’s location, non-soulmate couples were rare. 

They were rare, but Jisung knew that they were out there. 

They were frowned upon by the Nobles and Gentry, maybe by some of the Sages, too—especially the ones who spent most of their time with the upper class—but they existed. 

Jisung had never met them, but he knew they existed. 

He wasn’t a Noble, his father was a Courtier, that was all his family was before he found Seungmin. Granted, that had happened very early in his life, so the people he got to be around were mostly the Royals, Nobles, the upper classes, and the like. 

Now that he thought of it, everything made sense. Jeongin’s perspective made sense, the fact he was so hung up on Felix despite knowing that they weren’t soulmates made sense—the Commoners were probably the ones who’d be the most accepting of non-soulmate couples.

But Jisung wasn’t a commoner. He’d grown up believing everything he was taught about soulmates—well, maybe he had doubts about Seungmin at first, given how they didn’t get along, but by the time they found Hyunjin, Jisung had seen enough to believe. 

He knew that even though he and Hyunjin didn’t get along, they would eventually. He knew that he would come to love him just as much as he loved his other mates. 

He thought the same, when he first met Jeongin. 

Jisung didn’t know a lot of things, but Jisung knew love. He knew what love looked like, and he saw it every time Jeongin looked at Felix. 

Maybe that was when it started then, the doubt. 

The doubt that soulmates were absolute. That they were absolutely destined to be together. 

He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t think Jeongin would come around. He did. He wasn’t blind to his mates’ charms, they were kind and gorgeous and just perfect. 

He didn’t think Felix would be just like that, though. 

Just as kind, just as gorgeous, just as perfect. 

He was different, but he fit in so easily. That sounded so simple, but it wasn’t. 

Jisung learned that firsthand. 

Between the six of them, seven with Jeongin now, they were all different—and some of them had a pretty hard time fitting in at first. 

There was just something about Felix that made it easy to relax around him. They were the heirs to the throne, being trusting was not exactly in their nature; that kinda came with the whole future kings thing they had going. 

When Jisung found Jeongin, he thought that he’d finally have everything he wanted, everything he needed.

When Jeongin came with a bright-eyed, freckled man who looked like he wanted anything but to be there, Jisung eventually learned that he was, in fact, not going to have everything he wanted, because now he wanted him, too. 

Fates, Jisung had probably been thinking about this more than he’d been thinking about their mysterious eighth.

Jisung wanted Felix to be their eighth, but he knew he wasn’t, because they couldn’t feel his pain. 

Soulmates feel each other’s pain, that was something everyone knew for a fact. It was as natural as the sun rising in the morning, and the moon lighting up the night sky.

That was a fact. It was an absolute, so Jisung knew he wasn’t theirs. 

So why would he be feeling this way, then? Why would Hyunjin be able to sense Felix’s nightmares when it was usually so hard to wake him up? Jisung had to shake him so many times before he’d crack his eyes open in the mornings, but he had no problem waking up in the middle of the night when he sensed Felix’s nightmares?

Jisung wasn’t any better. He knew he tended to be a challenge to wake. He loved sleeping a little too much. 

The fact that Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin felt the same way was even weirder. Seungmin hadn’t said anything, but Jisung knew him best. He probably hadn’t realized how he felt, but it was clear to Jisung. After all, Seungmin never took it kindly whenever someone disturbed him in his study, he would even chase them out sometimes, not very kindly, too. 

But Jisung had seen Felix strolling into Seungmin’s study and walked away unscathed. If anything, whenever Jisung saw him coming out of the study, he was always in a good mood, which meant Seungmin hadn’t snapped at him. 

Hyunjin hadn’t said anything too, technically, but Jisung saw the way he scowled the whole time Lee Minhyuk was here, and that was enough evidence. He hated Nobles, but not that much. Besides, he was raised as a Noble. He usually had a lot more self control than this. 

Jisung wouldn’t be surprised if Minho and Changbin weren’t that far behind. At least, Jisung knew they were both very fond of Felix. Maybe just as friends, but still. 

Minho already looked at Felix like he was one of his cats sometimes, it was probably just a matter of time. Before this whole mess Changbin had been practically singing Felix praises, there were stars in his eyes whenever he talked about Felix and his affinity with animals. 

The problem was, Jisung wasn’t sure if he wanted that to happen. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Minho and Changbin to feel that way about Felix, he wasn’t sure if he wanted the rest of his mates to keep feeling this way about him.

If Felix really wasn’t their soulmate then maybe… maybe he didn’t want it. Maybe he wanted to stop feeling this way, and he wanted the others to stop feeling this way, too, because they weren’t supposed to. 

Out of everyone, Jisung was usually the most excited about finding their next soulmate—that was how he met Jeongin. He’d sneak out of the palace and go on walks around the capital just for the chance to stumble into their soulmate. 

He wasn’t feeling all that excited now, though. All he felt was disappointment, because maybe the second Minho uttered his guess, his assumption, Jisung had unconsciously accepted it as the truth. 

But it wasn’t. And now Jisung was lost.

"My mother used to say that it's okay not to know the answer to everything, all at once," Jeongin's voice interrupted Jisung's spiraling thoughts. "She told me that we're humans, nothing more, nothing less. We're not made to know the answer to everything." 

Jeongin's mother sounded kind. 

Jisung hadn't talked to her yet—he knew none of them had really talked to Jeongin's parents, at least not one-on-one, but she certainly seemed kind. 

A lot kinder than his own mother. 

"Is that how you're going about it?" Jisung asked. Was that how he was going about it, when it came to Felix?

He could see Jeongin tensing for a moment before he let out a long sigh. "I don't know." 

Yeah. That made it the two of them. 

"I don't even know how I feel sometimes," Jeongin muttered quietly. "I want him, but I know he doesn't see me that way. I want him to stay, but I also don't because I want him to be free, he has his own life, so I don’t want him to be stuck here. I want to be with him, but I've decided that I'm going to stay. Everything feels so complicated that nothing makes sense anymore." 

That was a nice way of putting it. An accurate way of putting it.

Jisung liked Felix more than he should and he wanted to spend time with him, he wanted to get to know him more, but he also didn't want to because he shouldn't. Jisung wanted to find their eighth, but thinking about them made him feel anxious and uncomfortable because a part of him wished it was Felix. Jisung wanted his friend back, but he also didn't want him back because it was scarily easy to be with him that he'd find himself wanting more. 

When did everything get so complicated? 

He had always thought that soulmates meant that things were simple. Soulmates meant that no one had to feel lost because there was someone for everyone out there.

The fates had been generous with Jisung, they had blessed him with more. So much more than he deserved, so much more than he could ever imagine. 

He'd never thought that he'd want more.

“Which is why I’ve decided to stop thinking,” Jeongin continued, making Jisung turn to him. “Hyung is… he’s important to me. I don’t know anything anymore, but maybe I don’t care,” he paused before continuing. “All I know is that he’s important to me and that I don’t want to let… to let him go. Fates. I am selfish,” he let out a bitter laugh. 

“Jeongin, I don’t think—“

“It’s fine. I am,” Jeongin didn’t let him finish. “I don’t know why but I feel like if I let him go, I’m going to regret it forever. It feels like something very bad is going to happen.”

Jeongin’s words awakened something inside of Jisung, and for a moment, he imagined it. He imagined Felix leaving. 

The immediate feeling of wrong settled in his chest, the intensity of it surprising him he almost gasped. 

Jisung had never thought of it. He had never thought that Felix would leave. 

So many things had happened, and everything was changing, but from the moment Jeongin first stepped into the palace, one thing remained the same. 

Jeongin was in love with Felix. 

Jisung hadn’t exactly imagined how it would all play out, but he had always thought that Felix would stay as long as Jeongin stayed. Jeongin was staying for a little while, and now, he was probably staying for a long, long time—maybe he wouldn’t ever leave. Somehow, Jisung had unconsciously thought that it meant Felix was staying, too. 

He never even considered—Jeongin had told them about it before, that Felix didn’t see him that way. 

Suddenly, Jisung remembered how Lee Minhyuk had been practically glued to Felix the whole time he was here, and he felt foolish. Did Felix see Minhyuk that way? He wasn’t sure, he didn’t think so, but he might’ve missed it.

Did he? 

He hoped not. Jisung hoped not, because suddenly, he felt a surge of something in his chest. 

“He’s staying,” Jisung said, Jisung declared. He hoped. “Right?” he asked, because he needed Jeongin to agree with him.

Jeongin stared at him, seemingly surprised, before he broke into a smile. It was small and sad, but it felt genuine. “Yeah,” he said. “I hope he is.”

That wasn’t really something Jisung wanted to hear, but it had to be enough for now. 

They settled into a comfortable silence, both occupied with their own thoughts. 

Jisung’s mind drifted back to a few nights ago, to the conversation they had. 

Changbin had called it a crush. 

Jisung had known it then, but he didn’t want to admit it. Now, it was so clear that there was no way he could ignore it. There was no way he could lie about it. The thought was terrifying, but it was real. It was as real as anything could be. 

What he felt was probably a little more than a crush. 

Fates. He was in so much trouble. This was definitely a recipe for heartbreak. 

Later on that night, he went to bed early. Sleeping had always been the escape he relied on, whenever he had too many thoughts, whenever he felt too lost, sleep always provided the escape he needed.

“I can almost hear you thinking all the way from the west wing,” a voice said from behind him, and the next second, Jisung felt the bed sinking, an arm settling around him. 

“I’m trying to sleep, hyung,” he grumbled. 

A fond huff, and then he could feel Minho’s soft lips on his back. “No, you’re not,” he simply said. “Talk to me?”

For a long while, Jisung said nothing, and Minho didn’t pester. That was probably one of his favorite things about Minho, he was patient. He didn’t mind waiting. They could just be there in silence.

“I don’t know how to feel,” Jisung muttered after a while. 

“You don’t have to.”

Jisung shifted and turned to face him. “I don’t?”

“Sometimes feelings are not meant to be understood. Feeling and thinking aren’t meant to go hand in hand, anyway.”

That made sense, but it didn’t make Jisung feel all better. 

“Hyung,” he started, expression pinched. “What if… what if it’s more than a crush?”

Minho froze for a second before his expression changed. There was concern there, Jisung could see that clearly, but it wasn’t just that. He held his breath, watching. 

“Okay,” Minho whispered. 

“Okay?” Jisung echoed. 

“It’s okay if it’s more than a crush,” Minho said quietly, sounding surprised by himself. He frowned, seemingly thoughtful. “Huh.”

“…Hyung?”

Minho’s eyes found his, and then suddenly, he pressed a feather-light kiss on his lips. It was brief, leaving Jisung wanting for more, but he was a little too distracted at the moment. “It’ll be fine, Sungie,” he said. “We’ll figure something out.”

That was vague, and it didn’t really solve anything, but somehow, Jisung felt a little lighter. 

“Okay,” Jisung agreed softly.  

It's okay not to know the answer to everything, all at once, Jeongin’s words echoed in his mind. 

He wasn’t sure how things were going to go, he wasn’t sure about his feelings, he wasn’t sure how he should act, he wasn’t sure how his other mates would react if he told them that whatever he was feeling was probably more than a crush, but it was fine.

Felix was his friend. 

However this was going to end, Jisung didn’t want to lose that. He knew he had been such a horrible friend the past weeks, and that wasn’t okay. 

He didn’t know how to fix everything else, but at least, he knew how to fix this. 

 

---

 

“Hyung,” Felix whined as he was pulled into a rather tight hug. He didn’t want them to leave, not yet. Belatedly, he regretted not spending as much time with them—maybe he did spend too much time with Minhyuk. He didn’t regret spending time with Minhyuk, of course, but he wished he spent more time with his other hyungs, too. 

“We’ll come again, one of these days,” Wooyoung promised. “Can’t leave you guys for too long, who knows what kind of trouble you’ll get into?”

Felix let out a tearful chuckle. “I don’t get into trouble.”

Wooyoung just hummed half-heartedly, sounding like he disagreed with that statement. “Take care of Innie, yeah? And take care of yourself,” he said, voice low and quiet. 

Pulling away, Felix nodded. “I will.” 

Wooyoung gave him a satisfied nod, smiling. “Remember,” he inched closer, whispering conspiratorially. “He loves physical affection. When in doubt, just give him a hug.”

“Got it, hyung,” Felix said brightly. 

“And if that doesn’t work, you can go ahead and give him a—“ he let out a yelp because San was suddenly right behind him, hand gripping his shoulder.

“Fish,” San said quickly, before grimacing. He shot Wooyoung a glare.

Felix blinked. “Fish?”

“Fish,” San repeated, still grimacing like he just ate something bitter. “Jeongin likes… fish.”

Jeongin did mention that he enjoyed fishing. Felix couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of this before, of course he’d like fish. He wondered if there was anywhere he could fish in the capital. He was pretty good at fishing, and Jeongin would probably be ecstatic if he took him fishing.

“Thanks, hyung!” he said cheerfully.

Seemingly relieved, San replied with a smile, “No problem.”

Felix’s eyes shifted away, catching the Yangs in the middle of a group hug. He watched them fondly, feeling warmth spread in his chest.

“—a slight nudge,” Wooyoung grumbled quietly, but not quiet enough, because Felix could hear him just fine, at least the end of it. 

“A nudge? That’s practically a shove!” San whispered back sharply. 

Felix took a moment to glance back at them, confused, but he was used to their antics, so he tuned them out. He took his surroundings and watched Jeongin talk to his parents quietly. Mrs. Yang pulled Jeongin into another hug, while Mr. Yang patted his back. The others were standing a polite distance away, letting them have their moment. 

It felt like Felix blinked, and the next second, his hyungs and Mr. and Mrs. Yang were gone. 

He had a lot to think of. 

It had been almost two weeks since he last went to the city, which meant that it had been almost two weeks since he last saw his friends—Hyunwoo, Seojun and Kyuseok. Felix needed to see them soon, they were going to solidify their plans. 

He quickly excused himself and made his way to the city right after lunch. 

He waited at the library for two hours, but there were no signs of his friends, so Felix shrugged and made his way to Siwoo’s. 

Fortunately for him, his friend was in. It was actually his turn to man the shop today, so Felix stayed with him, listening curiously whenever a customer came in, offering a friendly smile, and in some cases, introducing himself when the customer inquired about him. 

It was nice and relaxing, and not too busy. He had asked Siwoo if there was anything he could help with, but Siwoo had told him no, so he had to be content with following him around and listening in on his conversations with the customers. 

Mrs. Jang had offered him to stay for dinner, as usual, but he managed to politely decline the offer. He wasn’t planning to eat out tonight, so he hadn’t told anyone about coming home late. Plus, he had intruded on the Jangs enough for today. Siwoo had offered to walk him to the library, and he managed to decline that particular offer, as well.

“I’ll be fine,” he repeated. “Seriously, what do you take me for? I can make it back just fine.”

Siwoo rolled his eyes. “Just go straight home, alright? No detours.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Felix huffed fondly.

“And stay away from the city guards, keep your head down. If you spot any trouble, people fighting, and the like, just pretend you didn’t see anything. And if there’s anyone—“

“Gotta go, bye!” Felix cut him off as he hurried away, ignoring the indignant noise Siwoo was making. 

“No detours!” he could hear his shout, muffled because Felix was already outside. Just for the sake of it, he rolled his eyes and waved his hand without turning back. 

Seriously. Siwoo treated him like he was incapable sometimes, like he was younger than him when they were, in fact, the same age. He was so grateful that Siwoo wasn’t older than him or something. The thought made him shudder. 

He made his way to the library in a daze, occupied with his thoughts. He was going to come again tomorrow, hopefully, he’d be able to find Hyunwoo, Seojun or Kyuseok in the library. Otherwise, he’d just have to make his way to Seojun’s place. He could probably do it.

Distracted, Felix noticed someone dropping a handkerchief, a woman. He quickly bent down to pick it up before hurrying after her. 

“Excuse me!” he called out to her, dodging people as he chased after her. “You dropped this!”

The woman did not slow down, nor did she turn. 

Felix groaned, but he kept following her down the street. He was just going to call out to her again when she finally slowed down. 

When he finally caught up to her, Felix tapped her shoulder lightly, “Excuse me,” he repeated. 

She turned to face him so quickly, eyes wide in alarm, seemingly spooked. 

“Sorry, you dropped this,” Felix said quickly as he waved the handkerchief.

“Thanks,” she said. She took the handkerchief, and then she quickly turned and continued walking.

It was then he realized that he had no idea where he was. 

He was in a narrow alley. A rather crowded, dark, narrow alley. So crowded that he was being pushed further into the alley. He wondered where it led to. 

He tried standing his ground, but the people behind him seemed quite determined to make their way through the alley, so he gave up and followed the flow of crowd helplessly—confused and lost.

And then, he felt a hand on his arm.

He turned and saw a middle-aged woman, who was now tugging him so that he was walking faster and not slowing down the crowd or something.

“Come on,” she whispered urgently. “You don’t want to be late.” 

Felix was just about to say something brilliant, like, late for what? but he was distracted by the people in front of him, who, one by one, started bringing out black robes from their bags, putting them on. 

He blinked slowly, going from mildly confused to extremely confused in a matter of seconds. 

“Where’s yours?” The lady asked. When Felix looked at her, she already put hers on. “Did you forget yours? Shit. Here, you’re lucky I brought a spare. My friend promised she’d come but she must’ve chickened out,” she said as she thrusted the black cloak into his hands. 

When Felix simply stared at it dumbly, she elbowed him, “What are you doing? Hurry up and put it on!” she whispered, startling Felix out of his confusion. 

“Sorry,” Felix said quickly before he slipped into the cloak, pulling the hoodie over his head, just the way everyone was doing it.

He would like to know what was going on, please. 

“Uh, could you please tell me—“ 

“Ssh!” She shushed him. “We’re close. Remember the rules. Don’t say a word. Oh, I forgot the mask, here, put it on.” 

She shoved a mask to him, just a plain, black one, with holes for his eyes. He stared at it in bewilderment, but when he noticed her putting hers on, he figured that he should just follow her lead, so he did.

He wanted to ask a question, but she had told him not to say a word. How was he supposed to figure out what was happening if he couldn’t ask anything? 

“The dark, the void, the dark, the void,” a voice chanted from beside him, and Felix turned to see a man, not much taller than he was, who immediately caught his eyes. His face was hidden behind the mask, and Felix was grateful that he had put it on, because he was definitely making a weird face now, out of confusion. “It will consume us all,” he said, seemingly delighted as he inched closer to Felix.

Eyes widened, he immediately turned away, keeping close to the lady who had lent him her cloak. Fortunately for him, the man didn’t try to engage him in further conversation, but he could still hear him muttering about the darkness and the void. 

Before he realized, there was an old, wooden door in front of him, with stairs going downwards. There wasn’t any light on the walls, and there were people in front and behind him, leaving him nowhere to go. 

The capital was interesting. 

It was peculiar and there were so many things Felix had never seen, heard, or known. He loved learning and discovering new things, but something about this felt off. 

He grabbed onto the lady’s cloak, hoping that he could stick with her and maybe find a way out of here. 

If she noticed, she didn’t say anything. Felix wouldn’t have let go even if she said something, though, because right now he had no idea where he was, what was going on, and who these people were. At least the lady hadn’t been chanting about nonsense, so she felt like his best bet. 

Felix was starting to think that he might be somewhere he shouldn’t be.

Notes:

sorry for the wait, i hope you enjoyed the chapter!

as usual, the next chapter should be up on wednesday (or next wednesday), because it's holidays and i'm going on a trip, and also, i kinda want to get another chapter done before posting the next one - we'll see!

Chapter 29: Make It to Me

Felix made it home just fine. 

Okay, maybe not just fine, but physically, he was alive and in one piece. 

Mentally, though, he was shaken. He was confused, concerned, and very embarrassed. All thanks to what happened earlier. 

He had found himself in a damp, crowded basement. It was almost a little hard to breathe, because of how cramped it was. It felt like he was breathing in other people’s breath instead of regular air. 

It was dark, there was no light but six small candles around a slightly heightened platform in the front of the room. On the wall behind the platform, there was a big, strange symbol drawn in white, a stark contrast to the darkness. Was the symbol glowing in the dark? Felix couldn’t tell, but despite the lack of sources of light, he could see the symbol clearly. 

Despite the dampness, despite how suffocating it was to stand there in the darkness, his shoulders touching the shoulders of the people around him, nobody complained; nobody made a noise. 

Nobody said a word.  

It was so silent he could almost hear his own heartbeat. It was so silent it felt like he was breathing too loud. 

And then, someone stepped onto the platform. He was wearing a robe identical to the rest of the room, with the same mask, too. 

If it was possible, the room grew quieter. Everybody went still. 

Slowly, the man raised both of his hands above his head, and then he spoke. 

“He is returning,” he rasped. “Soon, it will be upon us all.”

There were a few beats of silence. 

And then the room exploded with cheers and laughter.

“Rejoice! This calls for a celebration!” The man shouted. 

The crowd grew wilder. 

Celebration? Like a festival? 

It was a rather weird festival, but Felix felt kind of relieved. He had never been to a festival, but festivals were good things, weren’t they? Festivals were happy occasions. 

Unfortunately for him, the relief didn’t last long, because suddenly, everyone started doing some kind of movement. Some kind of… synchronized movements. 

Synchronized movements Felix did not know. 

Were they dancing?

He started hearing a noise too, a low hum. It took him a few seconds to realize that the crowd was making the noise. 

Felix was utterly lost. 

Feeling entirely foolish, he quickly tried to mimic the movements because he could feel the eyes of the people around him—that kind lady included. They were starting to realize that he had been standing still like a statue, unlike the rest of the room. 

He was thankful the movements were rather simple and repetitive, even though he felt increasingly embarrassed and foolish by the second. He followed their lead, raising his hand before shaking them a few times, and then bringing them down for a moment before repeating the whole movement again.

It was probably worth it, because he could see how the lady and the man beside him had returned their attention to their own dancing. 

He supposed it wasn’t such a horrible first festival. 

He heard that there was music and dancing in festivals, and while there wasn’t any music, there was dancing. Sure, the festival felt a little weird, but maybe it was just because he was unfamiliar with… everything. 

His mom used to tell him about festivals, the music, the dancing, the laughter. People dressing up, the food, the unique atmosphere. 

“There are different kinds of festivals,” she told him. “Every festival is unique. Everything depends on what we’re celebrating. Usually there’s a theme for each one.”

Mouth hanging open in wonder, Felix asked, “Could we go to one one day, Mama?”

“Of course,” she said, but there’s something in her eyes. “What kind of festival do you want to go to?”

“The kind where I can make lotsa friends!” Felix cheered, face lighting up as he imagined it. He could play and have a lot of fun.

If he strained his ears he felt like he’d be able to hear it again, his mother’s infectious laughter. 

This festival had everything except the food. It didn’t look like anyone was going to bring out food anytime soon. 

The dancing and singing… humming? lasted for a while longer before the man on the platform raised one hand, and the crowd went silent. 

It was a little impressive, how orderly everyone was. 

“Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open,” the man said solemnly. “We will meet again soon.”

The crowd remained silent. 

Suddenly, the man stepped off the platform. For a brief moment, no one said anything, no one made any movement or noise. 

Out of nowhere, people started to turn around, surprising the heck out of him. Grateful for the mask because his face was definitely a little too spooked right now, Felix followed what they did.

Slowly, the crowd moved. Out of the basement, up the stairs. 

He moved with them, dazed. 

Was it over? 

That was kinda quick. He had no idea how long festivals were supposed to last, but still. 

Once he made it out, back in the alley, he was relieved to see that the lady who lent him the cloak and mask was still within arms reach. He followed her and the crowd, making their way through the alley, towards the main road this time. 

When the people started taking off their masks and cloaks, he did the same. He turned to the lady, who was already staring at him. Wordlessly, he handed them back to her, muttering a quick thanks at the end. 

He was just going to make his way out of there—he was probably late already, the guard who came with him must be getting antsy now—when she grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side. 

“Is this your fucking first time?” She whispered sharply. 

She looked mad. 

Felix gulped. "Uh... yes?" 

"Shit!" she cursed, jaw tense. "Shit. Fuck. How could I not—I thought you were just one of those newbies, not... Wait, this is your first, first time? You haven't been cleared by the master?" 

Cleared by the master? 

Blinking owlishly, Felix asked, "What do you mean?" 

At her expression, he suddenly felt that he was in big trouble. Was this like, a private festival? He never heard of one, but maybe they existed. His gut was right, he was probably not supposed to be there.

"Oh, fuck. I'm dead, shit. Fuck!" she swore, sounding increasingly frantic by the second.  She looked like she was losing her mind, and then suddenly, her eyes were back at him, glinting like she just come to a realization. ”Wait, if you haven't been cleared by the master then why were you—“ 

Whatever she was going to say, Felix didn't get to hear it, because suddenly, there was a commotion behind them. 

"You're a fucking disgrace!" someone yelled. Felix turned in time just to see said person throwing a punch. The commotion distracted the lady, whose grip turned a little loose. 

Run, a voice that suspiciously sounded like himself told him. 

Without much thought, he let his body take over and made a run for it, which was fortunately a lot easier to do because during the conversation he just had with the lady, the crowd had dispersed and wasn't crowding the alley anymore. 

Even better, he noticed a few people doing the same thing, running away from the commotion, slipping out of the alley. 

Once he was back on the Main Street, he was relieved to find that he knew where he was—he was just a few blocks away from the library, which was good. He knew he didn't chase the handkerchief lady too far. 

Felix made his way to the library, practically half sprinting. 

He made sure to apologize to Yongjoon, the guard who accompanied him that day. He was one of the younger guards in the palace, and fortunately for Felix, he seemed relieved more than anything when he saw him despite his tardiness. 

Before he knew, they had arrived back at the palace, and he was in the dining room. He felt himself move, he felt his hands grabbing the fork, he felt himself eating, but he also felt like he was floating, like he wasn’t really in control of his body. 

Felix felt like he was in a daze, he kinda felt like he was dreaming, because he couldn’t really wrap his head around what happened. 

He tried laying down the facts. 

He had stumbled into a private festival he wasn’t supposed to attend. They were celebrating something, someone’s return? Whose return? 

Must be someone important for so many people to celebrate their return. Had they been traveling? 

The lady who lent him the cloak was really freaked out when she realized that he wasn’t supposed to be there—that it was his first time here. She mentioned about being cleared by the master, whatever that meant. Who was the master? Was he the man who stood on the platform? What did she mean by cleared? Was he in trouble? 

Was attending a festival you weren’t supposed to attend a punishable crime? 

Fates. Was he a criminal? 

But he didn’t mean to, he didn’t know. He never studied the Kingdom’s laws, he never planned to do anything illegal anyway, and those were usually obvious: stealing, harming others, bad things were generally illegal. 

He faintly registered someone asking him a question, but soon found that he didn’t have it in him to ask them to repeat the question or something. Tiredly, he let out a distracted hum, hoping that it would be a sufficient response. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how much time had passed, too busy replaying the earlier events and trying to stop himself from freaking out because he did not want to be a criminal, fates, he was so screwed—but when he finally registered his surroundings, the plates were gone, and the dining room was empty. 

“Walk with me?” a voice said from behind him, startling the heck out of him. Felix shot up from his seat and turned around, inhaling sharply when he realized who it was.

It was Jisung. 

Did he hear that correctly?

The other was avoiding his eyes, shifting anxiously in his spot as Felix stared at him dumbly.

“Only if you want to,” Jisung added dejectedly. 

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Felix quickly spoke, “Of course,” he said. “Yes, I’d really like to—to walk with you, please.”

He was so stupid he almost missed it. 

This could be it, this was it. He could finally apologize and make things right. By some sort of miracle, Jisung sought him out. This was his chance. 

Finally. 

Jisung nodded stiffly, and then he turned and started walking. 

Felix followed closely behind, eyes trained on his back, barely registering where they were going. 

He was weighing things in his head, when would be the right time to say it, how should he say it—he needed to do things right, because he wasn’t sure if he’d get another chance at this. Jisung had been so busy lately; add the fact that he would be moving out as soon as Minhyuk was done with the Committee, Felix knew that he might not have much time left. 

He would probably visit, for Innie, but that didn’t mean he would see the rest of them. That didn’t mean they would even want to see him. 

Seungmin would. Maybe. But Felix wasn’t sure about the rest of them. 

He must’ve been too distracted by his own thoughts, because he didn’t realize that they’d come to a stop. 

Felix wasn’t sure where in the palace they were, he remembered going up the stairs, but he failed to register any other details. 

His mind went entirely quiet when Jisung pushed the door open.

Wherever they were, whatever room this was, it was nothing like he had ever seen. The room was adorned with tall, arched windows reaching for the ceiling. The ceiling was made of glass, revealing a canvas of stars.

Jisung motioned for Felix to enter. 

Mouth slightly hanging open, Felix stepped inside, eyes darting around the room. There were tools… items he had never seen in his life. Plush velvet curtains—embroidered with celestial motifs—framed the windows. 

The air in the room carried a subtle fragrance, something unfamiliar but pleasant. 

“Wow,” Felix said, sounding breathless. All his worries were forgotten for a second. “What’s this place?” 

“The observatory,” was Jisung’s quiet reply. “I heard from Hyunjin that you liked stars, so I thought… I thought you’d like it here.”

Felix blinked slowly, trying to process the words. Jisung heard from Hyunjin that he liked stars? What does that—

“And uh, I also heard from Binnie hyung that you really enjoy spending time with the horses,” he added, sounding almost nervous. “Would you like one?”

“Would I like one?” Felix echoed, confused. 

Jisung bit his lip, nodding.

“Would I like… a horse?” Felix reiterated slowly, perplexed. 

Jisung gave him another nod, firmer this time, expectant. 

“…No,” Felix replied, voice barely above a whisper. “Why… why would I want a, why would you ask if I—what’s going on?”

He had been having an exceedingly bizarre day, thank you very much, he didn’t have any brain power left to figure out whatever was happening right now. 

Jisung’s face fell, successfully making Felix’s confusion disappear in a matter of seconds, replaced by the heavy feeling of guilt. “I just thought that—since you seem to like horses… that you might want one. I… I want to apologize.”

“What?” Felix asked, alarmed. “Why? You haven’t done anything wrong, I’m the one who needs to apologize. I—“

“No,” Jisung interrupted. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I mean it. It’s me, I’ve been…” he sighed. “I haven’t been a good friend to you.”

Jisung made a frustrated noise. 

Felix was just gaping, brain struggling to comprehend what was happening in front of him. Jisung had been upset with him, he was sure of it.  He wasn’t sure why he was saying that he hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“It’s just that—I just…” Jisung trailed off. He looked torn, conflicted. Brow furrowed and lips downturned, there was frustration in his eyes when they finally caught Felix’s. “I really like you,” he blurted out.  

The moment he said it, everything shifted. 

There was now horror on Jisung’s face. His eyes were wide, horrified—terrified. His cheeks were slightly flushed. Felix thought that there was something akin to panic flashing in his eyes.

“I really like you too!” Felix said quickly, hoping to reassure him, because of course he did. 

Now Jisung was gaping. “Really?” he asked, voice breathless. 

“Of course!” Felix confirmed rather passionately. He thought it was clear—they were getting along really well before… before this whole mess, weren’t they? “You’ve been nothing but kind from the very beginning, and being with you is always fun,” he said, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. “I would be very happy if we could continue to be friends from now on.”

There were a few beats of silence. 

And then, to Felix’s disappointment and confusion, Jisung’s face fell. “Oh,” he cleared his throat. When he spoke, his voice sounded a little high-pitched compared to before. “Yeah! That would be—I would really like that.”

“Yeah?” Felix asked, hopeful but also concerned. 

“Yeah,” Jisung repeated, a fond smile on his face. Somehow, it looked a little sad to Felix. 

Frowning slightly, he asked, “Are you sure? You don’t have to, I’m—“

“I’m sure,” Jisung said. This time, his voice was steady, firm. “I’d love to, Lix, if you’d have me.”

Felix felt relieved by that, even though there was still a small nagging feeling in the back of his mind. There was something that was bothering Jisung, and that made Felix frown, concerned—a fact that didn’t escape Jisung’s attention.

“Sorry, I just… I feel guilty,” Jisung added. 

“Guilty?”

Jisung gave a small, hesitant nod. “I’ve been avoiding you on purpose lately. I… I didn’t have any meetings to attend.”

Realization came to Felix a little slower than usual—definitely thanks to the bizarre day he had been having. Jisung had been using meetings as an excuse whenever Felix tried to talk to him; he had his suspicions, just like how he had his suspicions towards Chan and the never-ending excuse he always had ready recently, but he wasn’t entirely sure. They were the literal heirs to the throne, the fact that they were busy wasn’t surprising. 

It stung a little, he supposed, but it’s not like he hadn’t done this before. He did it to them. He also did it to Jeongin back in Duskwood—him and his stupid laundry excuse, so he understood. 

“It’s fine,” Felix said brightly, smiling. “I don’t mind.”

Hesitantly, Jisung returned the gesture, and they just stood there in silence. For the first time in a while, the silence that stretched between them wasn’t awkward; it was comfortable, familiar, safe. 

Just the way it used to be.

“Friends?” Jisung asked tentatively.

“Friends.”

“Can I get a hug then?”

The question came out of nowhere that Felix found it kind of funny. Laughing brightly, he pulled Jisung into a warm hug, chest immediately filling up with warmth as he felt the other’s arms around him.

“Thank you,” Jisung whispered. 

Chin resting on Jisung’s shoulder, Felix shook his head lightly. “Thank you.”

When they pulled away, it was as if it never happened—the awkwardness, the heaviness; it felt like everything had returned to normal. They were, once again, two friends who enjoyed each other’s company, two friends who sought each other’s company. 

They stayed at the observatory a little longer, Felix asked about the tools, the items scattered around the room, and Jisung, as always, explained patiently and kindly. Fates, Felix couldn’t believe how much he had missed this. He missed being friends with Jisung.

He missed being friends with them all, honestly. 

By the end of it, Felix felt just as comfortable as he had been before this whole mess—so comfortable that he somehow found the courage to ask Jisung the question that had been bothering him. 

Jisung would know. 

Jisung was smart, and he was one of the heirs, he would definitely know. And Felix… Felix would rather know as soon as possible, even if the answer could potentially be something he didn’t want to hear.

Even if it turned out that he had done something illegal, even if it turned out that he was now a criminal. 

“Jisung-ah, can I ask you something?” he asked, voice quiet. 

Jisung had just mentioned how late it was, that they should probably make their way back to their respective quarters before the others started worrying and looking for them. 

Eyebrows raised, Jisung asked, “What is it?”

This was it. He needed to ask, he needed to know. It would be fine. 

If he was, in fact, a criminal, he would surrender himself to the guards, take the punishment he deserved, and then… And then that was it. 

Wait, would they still want to be friends with him, if he was a convicted criminal? 

“Lix?”

He was losing the courage to ask, he needed to do it now. Taking a deep breath, Felix asked, “Is… is attending a festival you’re not supposed to attend a punishable crime?”

Blinking rapidly, Jisung repeated, seemingly perplexed, “A festival…?”

“A… A private festival,” Felix added, tone resigned, because he knew that was even worse. 

“A private festival?” Jisung repeated, sounding even more confused than before. “I… what?”

Felix wasn’t entirely sure what wasn’t clicking. 

He wondered if the Royals were aware of the private festivals. Private festivals were private, but the Royals were Royals. Felix had always thought that they would be privy to a lot of things that weren’t for the public. 

Festivals were celebrations, and those didn’t sound like something minor. Do people need to have a permit to host a festival? That sounded likely. If that was the case, then they probably knew, right?

Swallowing heavily, Felix pressed on, “Is it?”

To his credit, Jisung opted to answer, even when it seemed like he was very confused by the question. “No,” he said slowly. “I don’t think attending festivals is generally considered as a punishable crime,” he paused, before adding, “Any festival.”

The feeling of relief that flooded him was more intense than he had anticipated. 

It was fine. He didn’t do anything wrong, anything illegal.

He wasn’t a criminal. 

“Oh,” he said, letting out a breath of relief. “That’s great.” Because it was great. Fantastic. Wonderful. Just what Felix wanted to hear. He wasn’t a criminal. He didn’t need to go to prison. He could just… put this behind him and forget it ever happened. 

He promised himself that he would be careful next time. He was going to be careful with festivals, he swore.

Jisung stared at him like he was rather concerned about his sanity, but it was soon forgotten when Felix reminded him about how late it was. They bid their goodbyes and made their way to their respective quarters. 

Felix was able to sleep with a lighter heart that night. 

The next day, he found himself in the public library, the Suncrest Criminal Code heavy in his hands. 

Jisung said it was fine, but he’d feel better if he could see it for himself, that what he did wasn’t illegal. 

“Why are you reading that?” a voice asked from behind him not even an hour later, making Felix jolt in surprise. 

He closed the book not so discreetly, pushing it slightly aside, shifting in his seat as he tried to regain his composure. Hyunwoo pulled the seat next to him and sat down, throwing him a questioning look. “No reason. I just realized that I never really… learned about it, you know,” Felix said, and Hyunwoo raised his eyebrows. “About what’s considered illegal and whatnot. I just thought it would be good to know.”

Narrowing his eyes, Hyunwoo replied, “That sounds… kind of suspicious.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Give me a break, hyung. What do you take me for? Do I look like someone who’d enjoy criminal activities or something?” That last sentence didn’t sound as light and confident as he’d preferred.

“Nah,” Hyunwoo gave him an amused smile. Thankfully, he let it drop.

“You’re alone today,” Felix observed as he glanced around, there was no sign of Kyuseok and Seojun. “Where’s Kyuseok hyung and Seojun hyung?”

Felix had learned that the trio were older than him fairly recently. It was strange, calling them hyung, because all they do was bicker like children, but Felix supposed that didn’t mean anything. 

“They’re a bit, ah, preoccupied today,” Hyunwoo said vaguely. “You know, the downside of being Nobles and all that.”

“You’re one, too,” Felix pointed out playfully. “Why aren’t you preoccupied with anything?”

Hyunwoo held his hand over his heart, acting like Felix had physically wounded him or something, “It almost sounds like you don’t want me here, Lixie,” he sighed dramatically. “And just so you know, I’m plenty occupied with a lot of things. I’m just a lot better at managing my time than those two idiots,” he sounded pleased with himself. 

Felix grinned brightly. “I’m gonna tell Seojun hyung you said that.”

“Hey!” Hyunwoo groaned, betrayed. “Why would you do that? You always complain that we bicker too much!”

“I think I’ve grown fond of it,” Felix quipped. “It’s kinda relaxing. I’ve learned to tune it out, like background noise. One of these days I’ll be able to fall asleep to the sound of you guys bickering, no problem.”

Hyunwoo let out an airy laugh. “Fates,” he said. “Why do I feel like we’ve become a rather negative influence on you?”

Felix gave him a half-hearted shrug, a teasing smile on his face. 

“Anyway,” Hyunwoo started. “My birthday’s in about two weeks.”

Well, that came out of nowhere. 

“Is that your way of telling me to get you something, hyung?” Felix asked flatly, eyebrows raised, careful as he kept his face emotionless to rile up his friend. Inside, he was excited, because he loved birthdays. Should he get him something? What should he get him? Maybe he could just bake him a cake, like he did Minkyung. 

“Maybe,” Hyunwoo smiled mischievously. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d come to my birthday dinner?”

Felix blinked. “Birthday dinner?” 

Hyunwoo nodded. “With my family. Kyuseok and Seojun will be there, too.”

Felix hummed, contemplating.

He would love to go to Hyunwoo’s birthday dinner, to be honest. He had never been to a birthday dinner before, what were they like? Sure, he had celebrated his own birthdays with his mom, and later with his uncle—he had also celebrated their birthdays, but there were just the two of them.

Hyunwoo waited, face hopeful. “Minkyung will be really happy, if you come,” he remarked after a while, because Felix wasn’t saying anything. 

Felix huffed out a laugh, “Yeah?” he asked teasingly. “Just Minkyung?”

“Of course I’ll be happy, too,” Hyunwoo said petulantly. “I invited you, for fates’ sakes. Will you come? Please?”

Felix paused, giving it another thought. Come to think of it, Hyunwoo was a Noble. Felix wasn’t. He didn’t have any problem with that, and he knew his friends didn’t, too, but how about his family? They will be there at his birthday dinner, and while he didn’t agree with prejudice and segregation, he’d hate to ruin Hyunwoo’s birthday just by being there.  “Are you sure it’s okay for me to come?”

“It’s more than okay,” Hyunwoo said smoothly. “My parents are grateful for what you did for Minkyung, and that little rascal asks about you all the time.”

“It’ll be just them? Your family, and Seojun and Kyuseok hyung?”

“More or less,” Hyunwoo replied, tapping his finger against the surface of the table, seemingly a little restless. 

“Well… I guess I could come,” Felix said slowly. He watched in amusement as Hyunwoo brightened up. “For Minkyung,” he added, just for fun.

Hyunwoo decided to ignore that last part entirely. “Great!” he cheered. “Wonderful. Thanks, Lix.”

Felix’s smile was warm and genuine when he replied, “Of course, hyung,” he said. “I’d love to come to your birthday dinner. Thanks for inviting me.”

 

---

 

Hyunjin started having nightmares when he was ten. 

He used to be terrified of them, not knowing what to do. He’d wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, and the servants would get his parents. They would scold him and tell him to stop acting up before returning to their room. 

But the nightmares didn’t stop. Hyunjin didn’t get better at handling them, not for a long time. 

Soon enough, his parents called a mind healer. He came in the middle of the night, coming into his bedroom with his parents in tow, whispering among themselves. It took Hyunjin years to understand why they called him in the middle of the night—they didn’t want anyone to see him coming to their place. They didn’t want anyone to know what was happening. 

They did not want him to bring down the name of their family. The great Hwang Family. 

The mind healer, the magician, pressed cold fingers against his temple, muttering under his breath. Hyunjin felt warmth dancing on his skin, blinking sleepily, and then the man pulled away. 

“I can’t sense anything wrong with him,” the magician said. “There’s nothing wrong magically, too.”

“So what’s going on, then?” He heard his mother’s voice, irritation clear as day. “Is he losing his mind? Is he going mad?”

I’m not, he wanted to say, but he didn’t, because his parents never listened to him. He was young, but he had learned that already. 

The magician sat there wordlessly. 

“Could you give him something, anything?” His mother pressed. “Something that could help, something that could stop this… this madness.”

He didn’t want to have nightmares. He didn’t like having nightmares, but he hated how she said it.

Hyunjin started taking potions when he was ten. He was to take it after dinner, every day, like clockwork. 

He didn’t like it. It made him feel fuzzy, he’d feel tired sooner, he’d feel sluggish and weak; a little bit over an hour after dinner, he’d pass out on his bed. 

In the morning, he’d wake up with a headache. 

He wasn’t even sure if the potions worked. The frequency of the nightmares decreased, yes, but he still had them. 

He stopped waking up screaming, though, and maybe that was what his parents needed. As long as he didn’t wake up screaming every other night, they wouldn’t know he was having nightmares, they wouldn’t think that he was losing his mind. 

Did the potion help, or was Hyunjin finally getting better at handling his nightmares? He wasn’t sure. He started taking less of the potion, though, tilting the vial over the toilet. 

The nightmares were still there, but he had stopped screaming. 

His parents still ignored him, for the most part. They ignored him whenever they didn’t need him.

He’d still catch them watching him in disdain sometimes, he’d still see their faces twisting like he was the biggest disappointment in the kingdom whenever a new batch of potion arrived. 

That was fine. Hyunjin was fine with it, because there was someone out there, just for him. 

His soulmate. 

Someone just for me, he thought giddily. Someone who’ll stay with me forever, someone who’ll always be there for me. 

One day, they’d find him, or he’d find them, and they’d get him out of here, far from the place that never felt like home, far from the burning gazes of his parents. 

They would move far, far away, just the two of them, and he’d be able to breathe a little easier, because his soulmate was meant just for him. 

Make it to me, he’d wish fervently, every night. Please make it to me, he’d whisper, swallowing the fear that had lodged itself in his throat whenever he thought of them, because whenever he did, he remembered the pain. 

They’re okay, they’re alive, he’d remind himself. I’d know if they’re dead. 

Because he would. Soulmate bonds worked like that. He would know if they’re dead, so they weren’t. 

He was thirteen when he finally figured out another reason why he was a disappointment to his parents. 

This time, he didn’t feel the sting he’d usually feel. This time, he laughed—he felt happy and delighted. 

Apparently, his parents had concluded that, judging from that horrid pain he felt through their soulbond years ago, his soulmate was most likely not a Noble. They were most likely a Commoner. 

Hyunjin felt giddy. Not a Noble, he repeated in his mind. 

They would be nothing like his parents.

He had never even met them, he didn’t know their name, he didn’t know what they looked like, but Hyunjin was pretty sure he was already half in love with them. 

They would be nothing like his parents, which meant they would be everything he’d ever wanted. 

Thank you, he thought that day, at church. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

As expected, though, it all came crashing down when he found them. Or, when they found him. 

He didn’t have one soulmate, he had five. One of which, was the Prince. 

Not a Noble, his ass. 

He felt hurt, betrayed. Not only were they even more of a Noble than he was—they were Royals, for fates’ sakes—they had also been together for years. 

They were nothing like he’d imagined. 

He’d dreamed of this day all his life. He’d find his soulmate, and they would look at each other with relief in their eyes, because they made it. 

But that wasn’t exactly how it went, was it? 

They did seem happy to find him, but they’re Royals. They were as skilled in facades as he was, maybe even more. How was he supposed to know if they were genuine? 

And besides, it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same because for Hyunjin, it was his first time finding his soulmate. Soulmates. 

For them, it has been what, their fifth time? 

It was different. Maybe he was too much of a hopeless romantic, maybe he was being petty, but still. 

In time, he understood, though. 

He got to know them, and they were everything he’d ever wanted, maybe even more. 

When they finally asked the question, what happened to you?, he could see the pain in their eyes. 

That was when Hyunjin finally realized. 

It wasn’t them.

Of course it wasn’t. How could it be them when they were Royals? They were probably the most protected people in the Kingdom, there was no way the pain was theirs. 

Hyunjin couldn’t believe he didn’t think of this. 

A part of him was happy, another part of him was worried. The routine he had stopped ever since he found his soulmates was restarted. 

Make it to me, he’d started hoping again, wishing, praying. He never skipped a day. 

When Jisung found Jeongin, he thought, finally. 

When Jeongin came with his friend, fingers intertwined, a hard look on his face, Hyunjin was upset. 

When Jeongin said he loved him, Hyunjin was hurt. 

He would probably have exploded, if he didn’t have the others. If he didn’t have his other soulmates. 

When Hyunjin realized that he had developed some kind of sixth sense when it came to Felix’s nightmares, he was terrified. Maybe his parents were right. Maybe he had lost his mind. Maybe he was insane. 

When Minho asked Felix if he was their eighth, Hyunjin’s world tilted on its axis. He is, his mind supplied. You know he is. 

But he wasn’t. 

He wasn’t, and now every time Hyunjin looked at him, he was reminded of how strange things were. How strange he was. How even now in his twenties, he was still the same—he was still the weird kid, the freak with nightmares. Nightmares and nightmare-detecting ability. Fates. Of course he’d find a way to be even weirder, he should’ve known.

Two days after Jeongin’s parents’ departure, Hyunjin woke up with heaviness in his chest; like there was an abyss in his heart, sucking in everything good, draining him.

Felix. 

He lay there for a brief moment, considering his options. He could force himself to go back to sleep and ignore the feeling, he managed that just fine.

Maybe just fine was a stretch—but he did manage. 

Shaking his head mentally, he pushed himself up slowly and quietly, careful not to jostle Changbin who was fast asleep. 

A few minutes later, he had made his way to the courtyard. He wasn’t surprised to find Felix there, head tilted upwards as he always did. 

Hyunjin wasn’t being exactly quiet with his steps, so Felix heard him, his head turned so fast Hyunjin was almost worried he’d hurt himself. His expression was unreadable, but he definitely seemed spooked. 

Hyunjin gave him an empathetic look as he approached slowly, stopping right beside him. Ignoring the eyes that hadn’t left him ever since they’d noticed his presence, Hyunjin looked up to the sky. 

The night was cloudy. To his dismay, he could barely see the stars behind the cloud. 

He could see how Felix slowly turned his attention back to the sky in his peripheral vision. 

Now that he was standing next to him, Hyunjin could hear how heavily he was breathing, which meant that it hadn’t been long since he made his way to the courtyard. 

They stayed like that for a little while, heads turned upwards, taking in the night in silence. 

Hyunjin was painfully aware of every little thing, of how Felix’s breathing had slowed down, of how he shifted from leg to leg every few minutes, of the small sigh he let out once in a while. 

Perhaps that was why when the other finally turned to face him, he mirrored the gesture not even half a second later. 

“Are you going to apologize to me, too?” Hyunjin asked, a teasing smile on his face. 

Unfortunately for him, Felix didn’t seem to catch the note. Even in the darkness, with the faint moonlight illuminating the night, Hyunjin could see how his face fell. Smile fading, he opened his mouth to assure him, but Felix was faster. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, and then without taking a breath, he continued. “We’re just friends! Me and Innie. We’re just friends, I promise,” he said quickly. “He’s your soulmate, I understand that. We’re really, really, just friends, I promise.”

And Hyunjin.

Hyunjin just stared at him blankly for a second, a few seconds, heck—maybe even for one whole minute, because what was he talking about? 

But then realization came, and Hyunjin understood. 

He remembered the way he talked to Felix when he first arrived, and it clicked. He was probably thinking that Hyunjin had been upset with him because he was jealous of him, of him and Jeongin. 

Well, that wasn’t wrong; that was how he felt at first, but he hadn’t felt that way in a while. 

He got along really well with Jeongin now, and somewhere along the line, Hyunjin had somehow accepted the way Jeongin felt about Felix. He wasn’t entirely sure when and how that happened, but it did.

“I…” Hyunjin started, wanting to explain that Felix had gotten it all wrong—that Hyunjin wasn’t upset about that, that there was nothing to apologize for, that he had no problem with it; but it all felt too much, too heavy, complicated. Hyunjin wasn’t sure if he could even explain them in words, if he would be able to find the words to explain them. How would he even explain them without outing Jeongin, without letting Felix know how Jeongin felt about him?

For a little while, Hyunjin had wondered if Jeongin had confessed to Felix, if Felix was aware of the younger’s feelings. He made his own conclusion, though, judging from the way Jeongin was always sneaking glances at the other, how painfully oblivious Felix seemingly was to the turmoil Jeongin was experiencing throughout Lee Minhyuk’s stay. Hyunjin knew that Felix was kind and thoughtful, if he was aware of Jeongin’s feelings for him, he wouldn’t have acted that way with Lee Minhyuk.

So in the end, Hyunjin decided to say nothing. “Do me a favor?” he asked instead. 

Warily, but also seemingly hopeful, Felix asked, “Yes?”

“Keep this between us,” Hyunjin told him. “Don’t say that to Innie, yeah?” Because Jeongin didn’t need to hear that. Even if Felix was saying it innocently, those words would probably hurt Jeongin.

Felix frowned, confused. “Say what?”

“What you just said,” Hyunjin explained, hoping that it would be enough—but of course it wasn’t. Felix looked even more confused now. “That you’re just friends,” he added helplessly. 

He watched then. 

He watched as Felix paused, his eyebrows knitting in thought, before realization lit up his eyes. “Oh,” he said eventually. “I guess you’re right. Friends is… it’s downplaying it.”

Wasn’t he full of surprises? Now he was exceeding Hyunjin’s expectations. Maybe he wasn’t as oblivious as he thought. “Yeah?” he asked, perking up. 

“Yeah,” Felix said before he continued. “He’s my best friend,” he remarked, flushing. “I haven’t known him as long as the hyungs have, but he is. I guess I’m just a little scared to call him that. The hyungs are his best friends, and I can’t compare to them, so Innie probably doesn’t see me as his best friend, you know?”

Never mind. This wasn’t the kind of surprise Hyunjin was hoping for. No expectations had been exceeded tonight.

Repressing the urge to facepalm himself to death, Hyunjin responded, “Oh, yeah,” he said flatly. “I get it.”

Now that he thought of it, did Jeongin know for sure that Felix didn’t see him that way, or was that only an assumption? If it was, it was probably based on this kind of… this kind of oblivious remarks Felix was making.

Felix shot him a grateful, relieved smile, and they settled in silence. Strange, how the night felt peaceful now, even when it was nothing like that just moments ago. 

Even stranger, Hyunjin felt the need to stay tonight. The need to stay longer. Usually, he would excuse himself when he was sure that Felix had calmed down, when he was sure the other was okay, but tonight was different. 

There was something in the air. Something he couldn’t place, something that was beckoning, urging.

“What are they about?” Hyunjin broke the silence after a while. He could see Felix turning to him slowly in his peripheral vision, questioning. “Your nightmares?”

The other man took a moment to think. “Everything. Nothing. I don’t know,” he sighed quietly. “Sometimes it’s just memories, the past. Other times it’s… it’s random. It’s people I don’t know. The rest I can’t remember.”

Hyunjin remained quiet, taking in the answer. He wasn’t sure what he expected. Maybe he expected something similar to his own nightmares. 

“How about you?” Felix asked hesitantly. 

That was fair. Hyunjin asked, so it was only fair that Felix asked him, too. 

It was fair, but Hyunjin felt himself hesitating. He didn’t really like talking about his dreams—his nightmares, so he stayed silent for a while. 

He could practically sense the anxiety radiating from beside him, Felix was probably thinking that he had offended him or something. 

“Searching,” Hyunjin whispered eventually. “It’s about searching.”

Even without looking at him, even if he had his eyes closed, he could feel Felix’s questioning eyes on him. He didn’t press, though, he didn’t ask him to elaborate, which Hyunjin was thankful for, because somehow, it made it easier.

“I’m just always… searching for something. I don’t even know what,” he added, smiling sardonically. 

When he finally found the courage to look at Felix—fully expecting him to look at Hyunjin like he wasn’t quite right in the head—he found understanding, instead.

“That sounds like a lot,” Felix said softly. 

Chuckling, Hyunjin replied, “Yeah. It feels like a lot,” he said. It feels like too much. “Have you ever felt that way?” he found himself asking. 

Felix paused for a moment before answering, “I think in a way, we’re all searching for something.”

Hyunjin supposed that wasn’t… wrong. 

Everyone was looking for something, be it happiness, love, peace; the list went on. In a way, maybe he was simply looking for those very same things everyone else was looking for. In a way, maybe he wasn’t as insane as he’d been taught to believe. 

The thought provided him with a sense of relief, but it also made him feel a hint of dread. He had a feeling that whatever he was looking for was a bit more.

It was a bit different. 

He considered Felix’s words, “What are you searching for?” Hyunjin asked. 

He watched as Felix looked into the distance. 

He watched as the other man mulled it over, how his freckles looked under the moonlight. Hyunjin watched until finally, he noticed the corners of Felix’s lips tugging upwards in the slightest bit. He looked like he was thinking of something pleasant. “Rest,” Felix muttered. “I guess I’m searching for rest.” 

That sounded harmless. That should have sounded harmless, but the alarm bells were going off in Hyunjin’s head now. There was something incredibly wrong with that, something that made him feel like he needed to do something, that he needed to take action. Quick, the voice urged him. 

“Are you tired?” Hyunjin asked, concerned. Now that he thought of it, Felix looked exhausted. His stomach dropped when he tried to think of a time when the other did not seem exhausted, only to find that he had always seemed exhausted. “Should we head back in?”

“Huh?” Felix cocked his head to the side. “No,” he chuckled. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

What do you mean, then? Hyunjin asked in his head, silently urging him to continue. 

“It’s… Never mind,” Felix said, looking like he wasn’t sure how to explain it. Hyunjin wasn’t entirely sure what kind of face he was making, but it couldn’t have been anything good, because Felix quickly amended, “I mean, I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be nice to sleep for a long time and forget?” 

There was something that had lodged itself in Hyunjin’s throat now. Swallowing heavily, Hyunjin echoed, “Forget?”

“The world,” Felix shrugged, tilting his head slightly to glance at the dark sky above them. “Just to forget the world for a little while, to rest. To slip into unconsciousness without worry.”

And there it was, that feeling again. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It felt heavy and thick. It felt like that moment in his dreams, when he realized that he was almost there, that the person—the silhouette was right there, within walking distance, but he wasn’t going to reach them in time. 

Hyunjin could almost feel it, the way his pulse raced beneath his skin; the way it was getting harder to suck the air into his lungs. 

Face brightening, completely ignorant to the turmoil Hyunjin was feeling, Felix perked up, “Like bears!”

For a moment, the sensation disappeared. He could still feel his heart beating harshly against his ribcages, but breathing was easier this time. “…Bears?”

“Mm-hm,” Felix hummed, finally turning to look at him. There was a small smile etched on his face, a smile that looked a little sad somehow. “Bears hibernate, right? Sometimes I wish we do, too.”

“Oh…” Something still felt wrong. Maybe it was the way Felix’s smile was a little dull and sad, maybe it was the itch at the back of his mind, the alarm bells that hadn’t stopped going off in his head, but he swallowed them down. “You sound like you’re the kind of person who loves sleeping, but you’re not. I know you read with Minho hyung in the morning.”

Felix laughed, light and carefree, and maybe the world felt a little brighter that way; maybe the air felt less oppressive for a second. “I guess I like both equally. Sleeping and being awake.”

Hyunjin supposed Felix looked like he would. He looked like someone who’d like anything. Was there even something he didn’t like?

The two settled into a comfortable silence, both occupied with their respective thoughts.

“I hope you’ll find it,” Felix said after a while, voice gentle. The words sounded soft and sincere on his lips. “Whatever you’re looking for.”

Hyunjin inhaled sharply, taken aback. And then it was back, the warmth; spreading all around him, enveloping him in a big cocoon, and he could almost forget how chilly the night was. “Thanks,” he muttered. “You… you don’t think it’s silly?”

Felix seemed genuinely confused by the question. “What’s silly?” 

Gesturing helplessly, Hyunjin replied, “This,” he said. “I mean, it’s just a dream.”

Felix stayed quiet for a moment, like he was giving it a thought. Hyunjin watched as something that looked like recollection flashed in his face, and then he spoke, “My mom...“ he started slowly, hesitantly. His words felt brittle, delicate. Hyunjin was almost holding his breath unconsciously, afraid that he would shatter them if he breathed too harshly. “She used to tell me that dreams were something more.” 

“Something more?” Hyunjin repeated. “What do you mean?”

“She... Well, I suppose some dreams are just that, dreams,” Felix smiled to himself. “But she told me that some dreams could be more. She believed that the fates communicate with us through dreams.”

Now that was something Hyunjin had never heard before. “The fates?” 

Felix gave him a small nod. “Thinking back, I guess it might just be something she made up. I asked a lot of questions as a kid, and sometimes, even after she'd answered, I'd ask her how she knew. She'd tell me that the fates told her,” he said; his eyes warm, smile wistful.

“But she did tell me that she thinks the fates communicate with her through her dreams,” he paused for a moment before he continued. “I guess it's a little funny, me telling you this, when I don't really think that for myself.”

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows. “Really?” 

“It’s just that, my dreams…” Felix shrugged. “I told you what they were, yeah? I think dreams of the past are just my memories resurfacing. The rest are just... dreams of people I don't even know,” he laughed. “I can't imagine how that would be the fates' way of communicating with me. I think that's just me reading too many books, my imagination going wild.” 

Hyunjin gave it a thought. “But you said there are others, dreams that you can’t remember. Those might be it, right?”

Felix blinked slowly, like he didn’t think of that. “I guess they could be,” he frowned. “But what use would they be if I can’t even remember them?” 

Good question, Hyunjin didn't know what to say to that. He had his own share of forgotten dreams, and he was never sure what to think of those. 

Felix turned to look at him, a gentle smile on his face. “Do you think yours might be it?” 

Could that be it? 

Could his dreams—his nightmares—of searching, always searching, always too late, be of the fates? Were they telling him to find something? To find what?

Mind spinning, Hyunjin didn’t realize that he had been staring at Felix, gazes locked. There was something in his eyes, something that pulled him. 

And then somehow, he came to a realization. 

He was searching for someone.

“Oh,” Hyunjin said weakly, feeling foolish.

He was searching for someone. It wasn’t something, it was someone. He knew this. How could he forget?

Felix seemed mildly concerned now. “Are you okay?”

Hyunjin finally blinked. He belatedly realized that he had been staring into Felix’s eyes like he was enchanted or something. Flushing, he spoke, “Sorry. I…” he trailed off. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s the fates telling me to find them.”

“Them?”

“Our soulmate,” Hyunjin said, voice quiet. 

The moment he uttered the words was the moment Felix tensed, and Hyunjin noticed. Averting his gaze, Hyunjin fumbled with his hands. 

The feeling washing over him was familiar. Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

He wanted to turn, to look at Felix again, there was something that pulled him—something was pulling him but he was terrified, because Felix wasn’t theirs. 

“It’s strange,” Hyunjin said, voice a little choked up, but the words spilled on. He forced himself to look forward, fighting the urge to turn. “In my dreams I was always searching. I was always… urged to find them. Faster, before it’s too late. But I can’t, I can’t find them in time, and…” He was losing, the pull was too strong, and Hyunjin finally looked at Felix.

Felix, whose expression was indescribable. His lips were parted, face slightly pinched, and there was something in his eyes, something that felt devastating. He was staring at Hyunjin like there was something on his face, on his expression, that shocked him to the core.

It was then Hyunjin realized he was crying. 

How did that happen? He didn’t even realize it, when did he start crying, why was he crying?

He didn’t even feel, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling, but he didn’t feel like crying?

But there were tears, streaming down his face, and belatedly, he brought his hand to his face to wipe them away, flushing.

Felix turned to look away, probably to give him privacy.

Too busy wiping off the tears, Hyunjin missed the pained look on his face, like it was too much.

They stood in a long, tense silence after that.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure how to face him now, feeling absolutely embarrassed because he didn’t just bawl, unprovoked, in front of Felix, did he? 

Fates. 

“I’m sorry,” Felix said, voice low and quiet. Voice hoarse as if he had been the one crying, making Hyunjin take a quick glance at him. 

He was staring at nothing, eyes slightly downturned, shoulders tense. There was a slightly haunted look on his face.

And then, he turned to him, and their gazes locked. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, voice even quieter—weaker like he was losing strength, and somehow, there was so much there. 

Somehow, it felt like he was saying something more, but Hyunjin didn’t know what. 

All Hyunjin knew was how devastated Felix looked, and how tight his own chest felt all of a sudden. 

Not trusting himself to talk, Hyunjin gave him a small, feeble smile. 

“If I could take it away from you, I would,” Felix said, voice quiet. 

A surprised laugh escaped Hyunjin, and his eyes started stinging, the familiar threat of tears surging up uncontrollably. He quickly tried to blink it away.

That wasn’t wistful thinking, that didn’t sound like wistful thinking—Felix said it like he meant it; like if he could physically grab Hyunjin’s nightmares, he would quite literally, grab them in the neck and chuck them away.

“That’s silly,” Hyunjin said softly, an amused smile on his face. 

A small smile bloomed on Felix’s face, sheepish, “I guess it is.”

It felt like they were both trying to make the atmosphere lighter, to ease the tension, but it wasn’t working—not really. The night was different, there was something beckoning them, and Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something. 

“May I walk you back, Your Highness?” Felix offered, voice quiet.

Hyunjin nodded hesitantly, tentatively. He wished he’d say his name, but he decided to let it be for now. He didn’t have the energy for much. 

They walked side by side, shoulders almost touching, navigating their way through the dark hallways. 

There was still something, something that pulled Hyunjin. 

If he just inched a little closer, their shoulders would touch. If he let his pinky finger reach out, he their fingers would brush against each other. 

Hyunjin balled his hands into fists, and forced himself to walk straight, face hard. He couldn’t do it, he shouldn’t do it. It would be wrong. 

The hallways were deserted and quiet, but somehow, Hyunjin could almost hear the wind rushing in his ears. He could almost feel the grass beneath his feet, the serene sky above his head. 

And the voice, that voice. 

He couldn’t hear it, but at the same time, it felt like he could—loud and clear. 

Everything felt so jumbled, contradictory, that he almost felt like crying because he didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand. 

Before he realized, they had already come to a stop right in front of his room. 

Hyunjin bit his lip and swallowed the feelings, buried it deep within himself. 

“Good night,” Felix said, voice tender, somehow making him almost burst into tears again right then and there. 

“Good night,” Hyunjin breathed. 

Felix gave him a small nod before leaving. 

Instead of going into his room like a normal person, Hyunjin found himself rooted to his spot. He watched as Felix walked away, his back retreating. 

Quick, it was that voice again. The voice in his dreams, his own voice? 

It was urging him, tone urgent. Quick, before it’s too late.  

Fingers twitching, Hyunjin felt an overwhelming urge to run after Felix, to reach out and… and what? 

He had no idea. It didn’t make any sense. The air was heavy with something, anticipation? Foreboding? He could almost taste it, the buzzing, electric. 

Despite himself, Hyunjin repressed the urge. 

Felix wasn’t his. He wasn’t theirs.

Closing his eyes, he repeated the words, he whispered them into the night, into the dark, empty hallway—desperate and heavy. “Make it to me.”

 

---

 

The first time Minho bumped into Felix in the morning at the library—at least, the first time in a while—the younger was so surprised he made a double take. 

Minho supposed that was to be expected, that was fair. It had been a while. 

“Morning,” he rasped. 

“Good morning, hyung,” was Felix’s quiet reply. 

Minho settled into the seat next to him, not bothering to pick a book. 

The action seemed to make Felix feel antsy, judging from the stolen glances he threw at Minho. 

“The new batch of books just arrived last night,” Minho spoke, voice light as he broke the silence. “Wanna go through it together?”

“I…” Felix seemed speechless for a moment, before he shook it off. “Yes. I’d love to.” 

Minho nodded as he stood up, gesturing for Felix to follow him. He led them to the table near the restricted section. There were two boxes full of new books on top of it. 

Minho started going through the books, looking for something that seemed remotely interesting. His mind wasn’t entirely in it, though, because he was waiting for the right moment to speak. 

Deciding that there was probably no such thing as the right moment, he decided to just do it. Minho steadied himself before speaking up, “I’m sorry about your mother.”

From the edges of his vision, he could see Felix’s aborted move to turn the page of the book he was currently checking, shoulders tensing for a brief moment before he seemed to relax. “Thanks, hyung,” he muttered. “I’m sorry for… upsetting you.”

“You didn’t,” Minho told him. “I was upset at myself.”

He could feel Felix’s eyes on him, questioning. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Felix said quickly. “Really, hyung. You have nothing to be sorry for,” he added, before he hesitantly asked, “Are we… are we good now?”

Minho wouldn’t lie, he felt kind of relieved that it was easy, that it was simple. He was grateful that Felix didn’t make a big deal out of it, that he forgave him easily—even when it didn’t feel like he deserved it. When he finally turned to look at the younger, he was watching him, face hopeful and expectant. 

“Of course, Lix,” Minho said fondly, suppressing a smile. 

Felix beamed, intensifying that feeling of fondness Minho felt, and he simply gave up suppressing that smile he’d been holding, feeling his lips twisting into a small grin. He was moving before he realized it, reaching out to ruffle Felix’s hair. 

Clearing his throat, Minho pulled his hand away, gesturing to the books, “So, found anything you like?”

He felt a lot more relaxed after that. The two continued going through the boxes, skimming the first few pages of the books, looking for anything interesting, pointing it out to each other. 

Belatedly, Minho realized he had missed this. 

He knew that the others had made up with Felix in their own ways, too, so mealtimes shouldn’t be awkward from now on.  

He found the thought strangely relieving.

Now that no one was tip-toeing around anyone, the days passed in the blink of an eye.

Minho spent his days pressuring the Royal Advisor for updates about the suspicious gatherings.  

Unfortunately, Mr. Park never had anything new to report, which was just great. 

His mood got significantly worse when Mr. Park let it slip that they actually found out about the suspicious gatherings a while ago, even though they’d only told them recently. He said something about wanting to gather more information before stirring anything up, but that didn’t do anything to placate Minho. 

They had only heard about it a little over a week ago even though word about it had been out there for almost a month. Minho would like to think that it was normal to be pissed. 

It had been more than a week—a month if you count from when the word first came—and they had got nothing. 

Nothing but a weird symbol that had been stressing them out of their minds. 

They searched everywhere, they looked into every book that might have answers, only to find none. He was starting to think that maybe, the symbol meant nothing. Or maybe, whatever it was, was brand new. It wasn’t something that had been recorded in the books, it was just a made-up symbol.

By now, he expected nothing from Mr. Park. By now, he thought that they probably wouldn’t find anything about these gatherings—not unless they changed their approach or something. 

That was until… one night. 

Most of them were in the library, which would have been a rare sight, if not for this. Everyone had been helping with the research, trying to find anything about the symbol because it was the only lead they had about the gatherings so far. 

They were all eager to figure out what the gatherings were about, worried about the threat of the rebellion, because what if it was real?

That, and he had a feeling that his mates probably felt the same thing—that there was something about the gatherings that didn’t sit right with them. It was like an itch that wouldn’t go away. 

That evening, Minho had his face buried in books with Chan, Changbin and Seungmin. Books and old records. 

Even Jeongin was there, although, he was doing his own thing—the younger definitely felt nervous about the upcoming banquet, so he had been studying lately. Felix, like the good friend he was, was sitting beside him, helping his friend memorize what sounded like the history of the Outlands.

Jisung had felt tired, voicing that he wanted to go to bed early that night, so Hyunjin had gone with him. 

Frowning, Minho wondered if he should’ve gone with them. They’ve been doing this for days and they hadn’t found anything. Today would probably go the same way. 

His focus was momentarily broken by the sound of groaning. He glanced to see that Jeongin had, in his frustration, faceplanted himself on the open book he had in front of him. 

Felix was chuckling fondly as he ran his hand through Jeongin’s hair, looking like he sympathized with him. “Why don’t you take a break?” he suggested kindly.

Jeongin grunted noncommittally in response, but made no effort to move. 

Felix shot him a fond smile before he turned, gaze locking with Minho. 

Minho gave him a small smile, which was returned, and then Felix pushed himself up and made his way to them. 

Minho returned his attention to the book, glaring at it like he wished he could set it on fire. 

“You look like you’re struggling as much as Innie is, hyung,” Felix said lightly from behind him. 

“I’m this close to flinging this book across the room.”

A surprised laugh escaped Felix’s lips. 

“Same,” Changbin grumbled. 

“There will be no book flinging,” Seungmin chided without looking up from his book.

Minho rolled his eyes. That was rich, coming from Seungmin. He would chase them out of his study by throwing his books at them sometimes, when they pestered him too much.

“What are you reading about, anyway?” Felix asked curiously. “Oh,” he breathed. Minho turned to glance at him. He was now peering over Seungmin’s shoulder, nose scrunched lightly like he was confused. His eyes were on that stupid symbol, the one Minho wanted to burn and destroy just so that he didn’t have to think of it anymore. “That symbol again. What does it mean?”

Minho wasn’t even exaggerating when he said this, but the room froze. No one breathed. 

“What do you mean… again?” Changbin asked slowly, face shocked.

“Have you seen this before?” Seungmin asked, eyes wide. He grabbed the sketch of the symbol, bringing it closer to Felix like he wanted to make sure that he didn’t see wrong or something.

Felix glanced at the sketch, at Seungmin, and then his eyes shifted to Changbin, looking back and forth, seemingly puzzled by their reaction. “Yeah?” 

“When?” Seungmin pressed. There was urgency in his voice now. “Where?”

“Last week?” Felix said. He seemed confused more than anything, but he also sounded increasingly nervous. “In like, this basement.”

“Basement?” Changbin repeated slowly, aghast. 

Minho caught Chan’s eyes, and the four of them kinda had a silent conversation right then and there. This was not something he saw coming. 

“Felix,” Minho began. “We need you to tell us where exactly you saw this symbol, and how you got there. Now, please.”

Books and old records forgotten, they had all turned to face Felix now. Belatedly, Minho realized that even Jeongin had got up from his seat to approach them. He was now hovering behind Felix, watching the scene unfold, puzzled. 

“Okay,” Felix said quietly, eyes flickering around the room like he was trying to gauge their reaction. “I was, uh, on my way back to the library…” he started.

He told them about the woman and the handkerchief. He told them about the alley and the crowd; the lady, the cloak and the mask. 

Minho didn’t like how that sounded. Why did it sound so… strange and sketchy? Cloaks and masks?

“I didn’t really understand what was happening, but the lady said that I shouldn’t say a word—that it’s the rule, so I just…” he trailed off, making a helpless gesture with his hands. 

And then he told them about the basement and the platform. He told them about the candles, the symbol, the man, the chanting and dancing. He told them about the lady’s questions. 

Minho’s mind was spinning.

“Was that like, a private festival?” Felix asked when no one said anything after he finished. He eyed them nervously, shifting anxiously. There was a small frown on his face, if Minho had to guess, it looked like he thought that the festival was weird, but he was trying to keep it to himself because he didn’t want to offend them or something. Funny, because Minho thought whatever it was, was bizarre. It was crazy, it was mental. “I think… I think it was something I wasn’t supposed to attend. I didn’t know it was private, I swear! I’m sorry!” he apologized, sounding desperate and panicked. 

Minho realized that Felix might’ve misunderstood what their silence meant. They were bewildered, baffled, perplexed.

Felix was looking at them like he thought they knew about this festival and they were mad at him for attending it without permission, or something.

If Minho wasn’t so confused—and concerned—he would’ve laughed. 

“Lix… No,” Seungmin said, looking like he was sporting a major headache. “That was most definitely not a festival.”

“You…” Changbin started, eyebrows knitted together, seemingly lost for words. “You…”

“Felix,” Minho swooped in, pushing himself to stand in front of Felix before he reached out, holding his shoulders and making the younger man face him. “There is no festival held in shady, narrow alleys, or in basements. Do you understand?"

He watched as the desperation in Felix’s eyes turned into comprehension, and then the confusion was back. 

“Do you understand?” Minho repeated firmly, because he really needed him to understand. Sometimes he forgot that both Felix and Jeongin—more Felix than Jeongin, honestly—weren’t from here. They were from Duskwood, and while rumors said that the further Outlands tended to be a lot more lawless than the capital and the Outlands closest to it, the capital itself was a different beast altogether. 

The capital eats naive, innocent people for breakfast. People like Felix. 

The city guards were around in abundance, and most crimes were handled very swiftly, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t any danger. 

Not to mention, people in the capital tended to be craftier. People in the capital tended to be sly and devious. They would smile to your face while they were sneaking their hand into your wallet without you knowing, that kind of thing. 

Minho didn’t really share the others’ worry when they first let Felix venture into the city—admittedly he started doubting Felix’s ability to keep himself safe when he came back late because he apparently decided that going between people who were inches from throwing punches at each other was a good idea, but that was a one-time incident. As far as he knew, Felix hadn’t been in any similar situation.

Now, though, after hearing about how he somehow managed to get into the gathering that had been the source of Minho’s headache the past week when he was only trying to return a handkerchief, Minho was starting to think that he probably misjudged Felix. 

The man was a safety hazard to himself. 

He thought the whole thing was a fucking festival. Minho was starting to think that he might need to sit him down and talk to him about general safety principles. The ones his parents taught him when he was young. Maybe even more general stuff, like what is a festival and what is not a festival. 

Come to think of it, Felix’s mother passed when he was very young, maybe that’s why he was this… clueless? Wouldn’t his father have taught him whatever his mother didn’t get to, though?

“Felix?” he repeated, because the younger was just staring at him blankly now. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Felix squeaked. “Yes, hyung.”

Somehow, Minho doubted it. Just to be safe, in case it wasn’t overwhelmingly clear, he added, “You should always avoid going into narrow alleys, especially the ones you’re unfamiliar with, as a general rule,” he said. “Are we clear?”

He watched as Felix gulped. “Clear,” he breathed. “Crystal.”

Minho narrowed his eyes at him, but ultimately decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Good.”

“…What’s going on?” came Jeongin’s tentative voice. Minho glanced at him, he could see the concern in his eyes. 

Right, Jeongin didn’t know. He wasn’t in the meeting; he wasn’t in any meetings, more like. They wanted Jeongin to focus on his lessons, he probably won’t be sitting in any meeting before he completes them all. 

Minho threw Chan a look and let him explain. Chan explained about the sightings, about how one of the reports had led them to a place that had been used for the gathering, the symbol etched on the wall. He told them what they thought, that they could potentially be a group of people who were planning a rebellion. 

Felix's face went pale while Jeongin's head whipped towards his friend so fast, horrified. 

“But..." Changbin spoke up hesitantly. "From what Felix heard, it doesn't sound like it, does it? If anything, it sounded like... it sounded like a bunch of nonsense." 

"They were talking about darkness and... the void?" Jeongin chimed in, turning to Seungmin like he expected the other to have the answer to everything. "What does that mean?" 

Seungmin sighed, face pinched. Minho knew he probably had no idea, and that was frustrating him. If there was something Seungmin didn't like, it was not knowing. 

Coincidentally, Minho tended to share the very same sentiment.

“But this is good,” Changbin piped up, turning to Chan. “We finally have something. A new lead.”

Chan nodded, sharing the sentiment despite the frown on his face. “Lix, will you be able to lead us to this basement?”

Felix paused for a brief moment before answering, “Maybe,” he said, sounding unsure. “I can try.”

“Good. We can go there with the investigators and the city guards. They’ll probably want to take your statement as well.”

Minho thought that was a good idea, but then he noticed how Felix was acting. He was tensing up, eyes darting around like he was nervous, like he wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure if he should. 

“What is it?” Minho asked as he watched him carefully. 

Felix was evidently, not expecting to be addressed. He glanced at Minho as he nervously bit into his lower lip. At Minho’s words, the others turned their attention to Felix, too. 

“It’s okay,” Minho urged gently. “You can say it.”

“I…” Felix started, shifting anxiously. His eyes flickered to Jeongin, like he was pleading, but Minho thought that Jeongin seemed absolutely clueless to whatever Felix was trying to say. “I just think that maybe—maybe we could go with the royal guards instead?”

He wanted them to go with the royal guards instead of the city guards? Minho caught Seungmin’s eyes, he could see confusion mirrored in them. 

“Why?” Seungmin asked. “The royal guards will be there, too, because we’re coming with you. But the city guards are the ones handling this, it’s their investigation.”

Face falling, Felix struggled for words, “Oh…”

“What is it, Lixie?” Minho probed. “What’s on your mind? Talk to us.”

Felix seemed torn, conflicted. Minho could almost see it, how he was battling with himself, trying to figure whether he should talk or not. Fortunately for them, he decided to talk. “I just… I just realized that in the fest—the gathering, there were a lot of people, and their faces were hidden behind the mask, so I have—we have no idea who they were. I’m not saying that the city guards are…” he made vague gestures with his hands. “But I just… I mean, the royal guards are trustworthy, so I think it’ll be safer with them?”

Felix’s words hung in the room, the seconds trickling slowly in the prolonged silence. 

“Are you saying that the city guards might not be trustworthy?” Changbin asked, baffled.

“Felix, the city guards are sworn to their duty,” Chan explained slowly. “We have their loyalty, just as we have the royal guards’ loyalty.”

It was instantaneous, how Felix’s face fell. 

Minho wasn’t sure what it was. He knew Chan was just stating the facts, he knew that the city guards were the pride of the capital, their excellent work reflected in the low rates of crime in the past decade; their excellent work reflected in the way every single case was always solved swiftly. 

Maybe it was the dread in Felix’s expression. Maybe it was the way his eyes glinted with something that felt like apprehension, but something in Minho’s mind was nagging him to trust Felix’s words, to support his argument. 

“While that’s true, I think there’s no harm in being careful,” Minho spoke up, eyeing Felix carefully. He watched as the younger perked up at his words. “He has a point, there were a lot of people there, and their identities are hidden. We never know who’s behind the mask. I trust the city guards as much as you do, but if push comes to shove, it’s the royal guards we’re trusting with our lives. We know the royal guards—our guards, personally. We know they’re safe.”

“Hyung,” Changbin started, and Minho could already tell that he disagreed. “The city guards are safe. We can’t—we can’t start doubting them. If we start doubting them, then everything collapses, they’re—“

“We’re not doubting them,” Minho said firmly. “We’re just being careful, considering the sensitive nature of this matter.”

Minho could see how Changbin still wanted to argue, he could see how Chan was not convinced, and he wasn’t surprised. The two had always respected the guards after all, be it city or royal. 

Minho respected them, too. 

And even beyond that, Changbin had a point. In the midst of tension where they didn’t know who to trust, which Noble and Gentry families to trust, who among the Sages were on their side, they couldn’t afford to doubt the guards. The guards and the Courtiers, and Minho supposed, the palace staff.

The Commoners were a different case, because they were too big of a pool to consider. 

What Felix was insinuating… was dangerous. It was dangerous because they couldn’t afford it, they couldn’t afford to doubt the city guards. The royal guards were a lot more skilled than the city guards, but their numbers couldn’t compare. 

The royal guards were stationed in all three palaces, but the city guards were stationed all across the city, the capital, all across the Outlands, the Kingdom. 

No matter how much Chan forced them all to practice, no matter how many times he drilled it into their minds—the importance of knowing how to defend themselves—if there was a rebellion, they wouldn’t make it out all by themselves. 

Royal guards aside, the city guards have kept the Kingdom safe for decades. They have kept them safe for as long as they could remember, accompanying them around the city when duty called. 

Under their watchful eyes, they were always safe when they were in the city. No citizen ever caused them any problem, everyone was always polite and respectful. 

They weren’t as familiar with the city guards as they were with the royal guards, of course, but they weren’t entirely clueless. Chan and Changbin were probably the most familiar with them, which explained their reluctance to consider Felix’s concern. Whenever they were out and about, the two would always go out of their way to talk to the city guards, making sure everything was well, and sometimes just to engage in small talk.

“I agree,” Seungmin finally spoke. “I think we should handle this carefully.”

In the end, they agreed to go with the royal guards. 

Minho suggested that they ask the Court Mage to accompany them, just in case, because something felt off. The gathering was speaking nonsense, he knew it, but somehow, they reminded Minho of a cult. 

What's a cult? Felix asked when Minho voiced his opinion, and Minho made his decision then. 

He was definitely going to talk to Felix about general safety principles, he was going to prepare the materials, it was going to be a serious thing. Maybe he should write a book, a guidebook or something. Felix liked books, he would read them.

After many arguments, it was decided that Minho, Chan and Felix were going, along with the Court Mage and their royal guards. 

Both Changbin and Seungmin had wanted to come, but it was surprisingly, Jeongin—the one who had argued the most about coming along. 

At least Hyunjin and Jisung weren't there. Hyunjin wouldn't be a problem, he didn't care much about this kind of thing, but Jisung can be a little stubborn sometimes. He'd usually be content with letting the rest of them handle things, but when he was in one of his moods, things could get unpredictable.

The next day, early in the morning, Minho found himself in the alley. It was tucked in the corner of the block, and it was more narrow than he'd imagined. Three people could walk side by side at most, and their shoulders would be uncomfortably touching. 

"Wait," Felix said when Mr. Choi stepped forward, ready to lead them into the alley. Minho turned to look at him, and Felix was now staring helplessly at the Court Mage. "Maybe we should, um, check if there are traces of magic?" he asked tentatively. 

The Court Mage, who looked like she had been in a daze—honestly, she looked half asleep from where Minho was standing—quickly straightened herself, eyes focusing. 

"Good call," she muttered, bringing her staff closer and muttering words Minho couldn't understand.

Magic had always felt outlandish to Minho. He found it a little hard to rely on something he couldn't see. 

For a moment, they all stood there in silence. To Minho, nothing happened, but the Court Mage was frowning now. 

"There are faint traces of magic," she said, making Mr. Choi step backward, effectively pushing the rest of them back, too. "I don't... recognize the spell, but I don't think it's anything harmful or offensive." 

"How can you be sure?" Mr. Choi pressed, voice stiff. He had always taken their safety seriously, which was a given since he was the captain of the royal guards of Silvercrest. He was now eyeing the alley suspiciously. 

"The nature of the magic, it's..." the Court Mage trailed off, struggling to explain. Eventually, she seemed to give up explaining, "To be safe, I'll go and check myself," she suggested, turning to look at Chan and Minho. 

"I'll go with you!" Felix offered quickly. "I've been there, and I'm fine. I should be fine. It'll be faster, I know where to go." 

He was making good points, Minho knew that, but he didn't like it. 

"Lix, maybe you should stay with us. You've described the place well enough, I think noona won't have any problem finding it," Chan said warily. 

"It's fine, hyung, really," Felix insisted, stepping closer to the Court Mage. "It'll be quicker this way." 

"Felix," Minho started, because if it wasn't safe for Chan and Minho, it was certainly not safe for Felix. He wouldn't recognize danger even if it was staring at him right in the face. 

"It'll be fine," the Court Mage stepped in. "I'll cast a protective charm around us. Nothing will harm him," she promised. 

Well, if that was the case, then she could just cast a protective charm around all of them, right? That way, they could all come. 

"Protective charms can be draining," Felix said as if he could read Minho's mind. "The less people protected, the easier it is to maintain. At least that's, um, that's what I heard," he finished, turning to the Court Mage for confirmation. 

She nodded in agreement. 

"I hardly think—“

"Okay," Chan agreed, voice quiet. Minho turned to him, surprised. Chan was a bigger worrywart than he was, so Minho really didn't expect him to agree. He wanted to argue, to challenge the decision, but Chan wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the Court Mage. "Keep him safe," he said firmly, and she nodded. "If there's any sign of trouble, I want you both out immediately. Send us a signal if you need backup." 

Minho just stared at him, betrayed. 

"Yes, Your Highness," the Court Mage bowed her head slightly, and then she stepped into the alley with Felix in tow. 

“Wait—" Minho started, stepping forward as he reached out to grab Felix's arm, because what the hell was Chan thinking? 

But then, he felt a hand on his arm, and he realized that it was Chan. 

"Hyung, why would you—why are you—“ 

"They'll be fine, Min," Chan soothed, which might've worked if he didn't look like he was worried out of his mind as well. "Noona's the Court Mage. The best mage the Kingdom has. They'll be fine. She said it herself, whatever magic was here wasn't meant to harm, wasn't offensive in nature." 

Minho glared at him like he had lost in his mind, "Then I should've gone with her, not him," he snapped. "He's... you know what he's like. For all we know, he'll get to the wrong door and they'll find themselves in a dragon's lair or something." 

Chan coughed out a startled laugh, "Don't say that," he chided, but he started looking like he was regretting his decision. Good, because Minho definitely thought that it was the wrong one. "He's not that bad. Trust him a little." 

"Oh, I trust him," Minho said humorlessly. "Just not with his own safety." 

Chan let out a long sigh, "You know I feel the same. I'd have gone in myself if I could, but Felix was right. He knew the way, it'll be faster. We should get this done quickly, because..." he trailed off as he glanced behind him, towards the main street that was starting to bustle with activity.

They came early in the morning on purpose, so that the streets would still be deserted, which meant they could be a lot more discreet since there will be fewer people watching, and the probability of running into one of the city guards would be significantly lower. 

Minho didn't like it, but he knew Chan was right. Besides, there was no use in arguing now. Felix and Momo had disappeared into the alley, they must've taken a turn somewhere. 

Sighing, Minho hoped that they wouldn’t run into any problems, and that they would come back soon. It was too early in the morning for any kind of trouble.

 

---

 

"Get up," hard eyes, stern voice. 

Sniffling, Felix pushed himself up. His feet felt wobbly. 

"Again," she said. 

The wooden sword felt heavy in his hands. Swallowing the words, he charged forward.

 

—

 

He was bleeding. 

His knees hurt, his arms hurt. He could taste dirt in his mouth. 

"Get up," she repeated. 

There were tears running down his face, mixed with sweat. He had stopped trying to wipe them off. 

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to practice. He didn't want to fight. 

He didn't want to fight her, even if it was only for practice. 

"Does it hurt?" she asked, her voice losing the sharpness that it carried for a moment. 

There she was, even if it was only for a second, his mama. 

Tearfully, Felix nodded. "Good. That means you're alive," she said, and just like that, she was gone.

“Again.”

 

—

 

Felix was just so, so tired. He felt like he had been tired for a long time, maybe longer than he'd realized. 

For the first time in a while, he fought the urge to get up and make his way outside, to the courtyard, to the stars. 

Instead, he reached out hesitantly towards Jeongin. He was just tired. 

He didn't want to see Hyunjin. Not tonight. Not after what he had learned about him. 

He had been having nightmares about him. 

It was his fault that he was having nightmares. 

Felix regretted it, he regretted telling Hyunjin about what his mother thought—that some dreams came from the fates. They didn't, they couldn't, because why would the fates do something so ridiculous? 

They knew better than he did that if they found him, if Hyunjin found him, he would be in danger. He might die. 

They knew that, so there was no way it was their doing. The fates were good, his mother taught him that. 

They watched over them, they protected them. 

Whatever Hyunjin's dreams were, Felix was sure they didn't come from the fates. They must've come from something else, he wasn't sure, what was the opposite of the fates? 

The fates were good, and those dreams were anything but that. They must've come from something else, something evil. 

Felix took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. It didn't work. 

Slowly, he reached out and shook Jeongin gently, fully intending to give up if he didn't stir the first time, but Jeongin's eyes flew open right away. 

He looked around, seemingly disoriented, and then his eyes found him. 

Almost immediately, Jeongin pulled him closer, he pulled Felix into an embrace. Warm, safe, gentle. 

Felix let out a stuttered sigh, snuggling closer, pressing his cheek into Jeongin's chest, taking in the reassuring beats underneath the clothes, the skin. 

It was almost embarrassing, how easy it was for him to go back to sleep, to slip into oblivion.

The next time he woke up, it was morning, and he let out a breath of relief when he realized that the rest of his night had been dreamless. 

His days have been better, brighter lately. He got his friends back. 

Even more, they apologized to him, assuring him that he didn't do anything wrong. It was almost as if they weren't angry at him for overstaying his welcome, for being close to Jeongin, and for everything else. 

It was nice, even though it was confusing. He had Chan to thank for that.

If anyone deserved to be the king of confusion, it would be Chan. Felix had never met anyone as puzzling as he was. 

Nothing he did makes sense. 

After having a heart-to-heart, after apologizing and all that, Chan had returned to his old routine; seeking the guards to spar with him whenever he was free, running into Felix in the staff's quarters. He stopped being super busy and making excuses, and they started talking again, but Chan was weird. 

When they were together, he would sometimes reach out like he wanted to pat Felix's shoulder, or ruffle his hair or something, but then he'd freeze in his spot. And then, after what looked like a very intense internal battle, he would resume whatever he was trying to do, and Felix would shoot him a smile in hopes of reassuring him that... that what? 

Felix didn't even know, he just wanted to help assure Chan that whatever it was, it was alright, but it never seemed to work, because Chan would stop in his tracks again, and then he would withdraw entirely; face turned away. 

The first few times, Felix thought he had done something to upset the other. However, whatever was going on in Chan's mind, it never lasted for too long. After a minute or two, he would turn to face him again, an easy smile on his face like nothing had happened, and Felix was just... confused. 

Even weirder, Chan had started a strange new habit of suddenly challenging Felix into a staring contest.

He always looked really determined, so Felix didn't have it in him to question his behavior or voice out his lack of interest in winning staring contests in general. 

Felix never thought that he was particularly good at staring contests, but he had yet to lose to Chan. 

Chan always loses. 

Felix was starting to think that he should just start losing on purpose. Maybe once Chan wins enough, he will stop challenging Felix in staring contests. 

He wondered why Chan was suddenly obsessed with being the resident staring contest champion, but he decided against thinking about it too hard, Chan could have hobbies. He could like whatever he wanted to like.

Even Changbin had come around. Felix had started seeing the older more often around the palace, sometimes in the stables, and the other day, Changbin had offered to teach Felix horse riding. 

That was a very kind offer, and Felix would very much like to spend more time with Changbin in hopes that they could go back to how they were before this whole mess. 

Changbin was funny, he was great, and Felix deeply enjoyed his company. 

One of these days, he had a feeling that they'd be just fine.

His days passed in a blur. The day he went back to the alley with Momo, when they were far enough from the others, the Court Mage had asked him a question. 

"How did you know this place was charmed?" 

Felix stopped in his tracks, shocked. He thought he had been sneaky enough. 

He considered it for a second, lying, but he was reminded of Hayeon's words. The Sorcerer hadn't pushed him to tell the Court Mage, she hadn't even asked Felix about it, but he knew that she wanted him to do it. 

She probably wanted him to work with her, maybe between his sight and the Court Mage's skills, they'd be able to resolve the rotting. Felix wasn’t sure if that was realistic because he could only see magic. He supposed they could try all kinds of things and ask him about it, about how the rotting was affected—that might lead to a breakthrough, but it didn’t feel likely.

Momo tugged him forward gently, urging him to keep walking. 

"I..." Felix started, faltering for words. "I'll tell you later," he whispered. 

"Okay," she said eventually. "We can talk later." 

They left it at that. 

To Felix's relief, he was able to find that old, wooden door, and he led Momo into the basement after she checked for any traces of magic, charms and enchantments, finding nothing. 

Even the symbol was gone. 

Before they left, Momo had performed a spell. She explained later on, once they were safely tucked in the carriage, that it was some sort of a detection spell. 

She'd be notified if anyone came into the basement. 

A few days later, they learned that according to the records, the basement wasn't owned by anyone at the moment—it used to be owned by a merchant in the capital, used as storage, but said merchant had disappeared one day, and it had been abandoned since.

Felix wasn't sure how to think of that. 

He wished it had just been a silly little festival, but everyone was convinced that it wasn't, so what could he say? 

He spent the next few days inside, his friends—mostly Minho and Jeongin, kept finding ways to keep him inside. He had a feeling that they were doing it on purpose.

Finally, the day of the banquet had arrived. Coincidentally, it was also Hyunwoo's birthday. Felix felt kinda grateful that the two coincided, because yesterday, Jeongin suddenly asked if Felix could come with them to the banquet, which, he did not want, thank you very much. 

He didn't have anything against banquets, Nobles and the like, but he would be so out of place there. 

Jeongin was supposed to be there, if Felix came just because Jeongin wanted him to, he couldn't imagine how awkward it'd be. 

He wasn't even sure if he'd be allowed to stick with them the entire night, he bet that'd be an intriguing sight. People would probably start asking questions about who he was and why he was there. 

He heard that Byungho and Byungjoon were going to be there, along with the rest of the royal family—apparently this was one of the biggest banquets of the year, so all of the royal family would be attending. Them and most of the prominent Noble families. 

Belatedly, he wondered if his friends—Hyunwoo, Kyuseok and Seojun—were in that group. He supposed they weren't, because they weren't coming to the banquet, since they had Hyunwoo's birthday dinner to attend today. 

"You look good," Felix smiled as he looked at Jeongin. 

Jeongin flushed, muttering a small thanks. 

He did look good, he looked like a literal prince. Wait, he was a literal prince, wasn't he? They were all princes. Felix was friends with princes, with the future kings of Suncrest. 

Sometimes he forgets that.

"You sure you don't wanna come, hyung?" Jeongin asked petulantly.

Felix felt a little guilty now, for finding delight in the way the banquet coincided with Hyunwoo's birthday dinner. "Sorry, Innie," he apologized. "I promised hyung I'd come. I can't bail on him, it's his birthday." 

Jeongin seemed disappointed, but he didn't argue. He simply gave Felix a small, disappointed nod.

Felix walked them all out, they all looked dashing. He was so glad he wasn't coming, because he would definitely look out of place among them. 

Fortunately for him, both Minho and Jeongin were pretty distracted by the banquet, so neither of them had tried pestering him again—about dragging one of the guards with him to Hyunwoo's birthday dinner. 

Besides, he wouldn't know how to explain that. His friends knew he wasn't a Noble, why would he have a guard at his disposal? 

That was the same argument he used when they insisted he take someone, and fortunately, no one had anything to say to that. 

After their carriages had disappeared behind the fences, Felix hurried inside to change. He went to the kitchen to grab the cake he had made for Hyunwoo, along with the birthday letter he had prepared. 

Before he knew it, he was well on his way to the city, creeping through the underground tunnels, accompanied by Yeonjun. 

When he arrived at the library, Hyunwoo was already there. He quickly led Felix to his carriage, and they started their journey to his place. 

His friend told him that both Kyuseok and Seojun would be there later on in the day when Felix inquired about them. He nodded and settled back in his seat, before remembering the gifts he had prepared. 

When he handed them to Hyunwoo, the older looked at him like he had just given him a box full of treasure or something. Felix made him promise not to read the letter until he was alone later on in the day, and Hyunwoo agreed.

Hyunwoo’s place was a little bit further than Seojun’s. Felix didn’t know what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t this.

Here’s the thing.

Felix loved his friends, every single one of them. He really did. There was probably nothing he wouldn’t do for them if they asked. 

They did ask, but they were omitting a few details on purpose. But they were kind of lying. Hyunwoo was kind of lying. 

Felix had been lying a lot ever since he ventured out of the forest, so maybe he deserved this, but still. 

“You said it’s a birthday dinner with your family and friends,” Felix said, voice low and quiet, tone accusatory. He watched the staff working hastily around the estate. Preparing the venue for the birthday dinner. Dinner? It looked like a birthday party, a huge birthday party. 

Admittedly, Felix was a little surprised when they arrived at Hyunwoo’s place, which was significantly bigger, grander than Seojun’s. 

He wasn’t alarmed, though. Maybe Hyunwoo’s family was just richer or something. 

That was until they stepped inside. The entrance hall buzzed with activity as the staff moved with purpose, arranging fresh floral arrangements, adjusting the draperies, and ensuring that every detail was in perfect order for… for the birthday dinner? This seemed a little over the top for a simple birthday dinner. 

And then they ventured further, into the Grand Hall, and there were round tables covered in crisp, white linens. They were strategically placed across the vast space, each adorned with intricate floral centerpieces and elegant silverware. Gilded chairs with plush cushions surrounded the tables.

Felix could literally feel himself going pale. 

“Family and friends,” Hyunwoo confirmed with a grimace. “And… acquaintances.”

“Hyung,” Felix started, voice strained, because this wasn’t how he imagined his day was going to go. He did not prepare himself for this. He wasn’t mad per se, but he was overwhelmed. He was nervous. Felix’s idea of a birthday dinner and Hyunwoo’s idea of a birthday dinner couldn’t be more different. How many seats were there? There must be at least a hundred. “I can’t do this.”

A hundred people for a birthday dinner? Who was he inviting? 

He should’ve known that Hyunwoo was up to something. He had said that there was a dress code for the dinner. What kind of dinner had a dress code? Honestly, Felix hadn’t been to many dinners—any birthday dinners with Nobles, so he thought that was just the way things were. 

“Don’t worry about it, you just need to come. There’s a dress code, but I’ve got you covered,” Hyunwoo said. 

“A dress code?”

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo said nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it, really.”

“Have you told him that you’re bringing him as your date for the night?” Kyuseok piped up from beside him curiously. 

“Excuse me?” Felix asked. 

“Uh, well, it’s just a custom,” Hyunwoo explained quickly, shooting Kyuseok a glare. “Not bringing a date is just a recipe for disaster, because we’ll be pestered all night. It’s not a big deal, you’ll see. Kyuseok’s date is Seojun.”

Felix turned to Kyuseok so fast in his shock, “You and Seojun hyung?”

Kyuseok nodded and grinned. “It’s just for the sake of it, to avoid being pestered, like Hyunnie said. The three of us do that, usually, we take turns being each other’s date.”

Felix hummed. “Why isn’t any of you going as his date this time?”

“It’s my birthday,” Hyunwoo said, sounding offended. “Having either of them as my date will just stress me out. Ugh, get off me!” while Hyunwoo was talking, Kyuseok had stalked closer, suddenly pulling Hyunwoo into a hug as he made a kissy face at him. 

Felix simply watched them in amusement. 

“Please, Lixie?” Hyunwoo asked, eyes pleading, pulling Felix back to the present. “You don’t have to do anything, I promise. Just stick with me the whole night. I’ll do the talking. Plus, I asked you because I have something in mind, you see. It’s going to be the perfect opportunity for you to—“

“Hyunwoo-yah, is this who I think it is?” A delighted voice called before Hyunwoo was able to finish. Both of them turned towards the direction of the voice, a beautiful lady walking gracefully towards them. 

“Mother,” Hyunwoo greeted. “This is my friend, Felix.”

“Oh my,” Hyunwoo’s mother said, a smile blooming on her face. “Felix, I’ve heard so much about you. Is he your date for tonight, sweetheart?”

Felix bowed his head slightly, mentally cursing himself because he had just realized that he didn’t even know what Hyunwoo’s full name was. How was he supposed to address his mother if he didn’t know their family name?

“He is,” Hyunwoo said. 

“Wonderful,” Hyunwoo’s mother clasped her hands, seemingly satisfied. “We’re delighted to have you here, Felix. Oh, Minkyung will be ecstatic. I have a few things I need to take care of, so I’ll see you both later. Behave, Hyunwoo.”

“Yes, Mother,” Hyunwoo said, looking like he was trying hard not to roll his eyes or something. “Come on, let’s get you fitted,” he said as he turned to Felix. “By the way, can you dance?”

“Dance?”

Felix’s day was getting progressively worse. Not only did he come to a very huge birthday party, but he would also have to dance. In front of other people. With Hyunwoo. 

“Don’t look at me like that, it’ll be fine. It’s not hard, I’ll teach you in a bit. Come on, Mrs. Min is waiting for you,” Hyunwoo rambled as he tugged Felix with him. 

Felix wondered what he did to deserve this. 

Why can’t he just have a normal day, for once? 

 

---

 

"This one is perceptive," the first figure said. "Maybe we should've gone with him." 

"You know why we went with the other one," the second figure reminded. "Out of everyone, no one ever yearned for him as much as he did, even from the very beginning." 

"I know," the first figure sighed. "But don't you just... wonder? If we went with him, perhaps he would've pieced everything together." 

"Don't be too fast to judge," the third figure finally voiced their opinion. "Everything is muddled by that abomination. Of course things are confusing." 

The first figure sighed, frustrated. "Can't we do anything?" 

"You know as well as I do that—“ 

"I know, but we need to do more. We can't just let things play out like this, this is madness! Who cares abou—”

"Do not speak to me in that tone," the second one said, voice firm. "You were there with me when we laid the foundations of this world, we weaved every fabric together. Don't start anything you'll regret." 

The silence that hung between them was heavy. Too heavy, even for them. 

"I know," the first one repeated. "It's just... it's too much for him. This is too much for him to handle." 

"He wasn't supposed to handle it alone," the third one reminded gently. 

Didn't they know it. 

"It will be fine," the second one said. "Their connection is strong despite what's been done." 

They knew that, too. 

"Do you think she'll trust him?" the first one asked, once again breaking the silence. 

"You see his soul," the second pointed out, pausing before continuing. "What do you think?" 

For a brief moment, the first said nothing. And then, they spoke, "He's not a warrior." 

"He's not," the second agreed. 

"But perhaps," the third started, making the other two look at them. "Perhaps what we need, is not a warrior.”

Notes:

a longer chapter this week because there'll be no updates next week, since i’m on vacation, so i don’t think i’ll be getting much writing done, but i’ll probably be lurking around in rs and dc if you wanna talk about the fic! happy holidays 🫶

the next chapter should be up wed (dec 20) unless i finish early or late. hope you liked this chapter!

Chapter 30: The Banquet of Madness

They hadn't even arrived yet and Jeongin was so done. 

They spent the entirety of their day at the Goldencrest palace, smothered by the staff. In Jeongin’s case, he was smothered by the staff and his instructors. 

“Remember, stand straight and smile. Do not show any sign of weakness. In front of these people, you're not Yang Jeongin of Duskwood. You're Yang Jeongin, one of the heirs of the throne of Suncrest.” 

“Yes, Ma'am," Jeongin said, expression sour despite his effort to appear neutral. 

“Now what did I say about smiling?" 

Suppressing a sigh, he forced out a smile. He probably looked tense and awkward and so, so done, but fortunately it was enough to appease Mrs. Im. 

That was a few hours ago. They were now in their carriage, which was slowly approaching the Seok Family estate, who were the banquet’s host. Jeongin shared a carriage with Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin.

“Seok Hyunwoo is the son of Lord Seok,” Seungmin explained on their way. “Today’s banquet is mainly held to celebrate his appointment as the Heir of the Seok family, but it’s also his birthday. What do you remember about the Seok Family?” 

“They’re the Head of the Twelve,” Jeongin grumbled, feeling annoyed that he knew the fact off the top of his head. In his opinion, everything related to Nobles and their politics was useless information, but what could he do? 

“Yep. And that’s why this banquet is important,” Seungmin went on. “The Head of the Twelve was personally chosen by my father when he inherited the throne, and he chose Lord Seok. That means he’s in a slightly higher position compared to the rest of the Twelve, since they have to answer to him, and he’s the one reporting directly to my father.”

“When we’re coronated, we’ll be choosing a new Head of the Twelve,” Hyunjin added helpfully. “But well, that’s not happening anytime soon, so it’s safe to say that the Seok Family will act as the Head of the Twelve for the foreseeable future. This is why Seok Hyunwoo’s appointment as the heir, as the future Head of the Seok Family, is important. He was chosen by the family’s elders and council, and his appointment has been approved by the king, so we’re here to celebrate that.” 

“Right,” Jeongin sighed.

He wished he didn’t have to go to a stupid banquet to celebrate a stupid appointment of a stupid Noble he didn’t even know, but he kept that to himself. 

He knew that Hyunjin, at the very least, shared the same sentiment. 

The older had been sticking with him the whole day for as much as he could, giving kind reassurances, but Jeongin could see how anxious he was, too. He had heard that Hyunjin didn’t have the best relationship with his parents, and they were going to be there. 

He couldn’t really relate, but if he thought of Hyunjin’s parents as just some random, pompous Nobles, it wasn’t that hard to imagine how he’d be feeling. 

“Seok Hyunwoo’s a good man,” Chan joined in, hands folded in thought. “My father’s told me about him, he says that he’s always on his best behavior, and he always addresses the guards and staff with respect.” 

Seungmin hummed, seemingly thoughtful. Across from him, Hyunjin tilted his head slightly, like he was considering Chan’s words, but hadn’t made up his mind yet. 

“We’ve met him before, of course,” Chan continued, turning to Jeongin. “We’ve interacted with him, but only in passing.”

"We'll probably be spending quite some time with the Seoks tonight, seeing that they're the hosts," Hyunjin whispered to Jeongin. "Don't worry too much, they're not bad company. There are much, much worse alternatives. We're lucky this time." 

"Great," Jeongin drawled, feeling a little miffed because he didn't exactly share the same sentiment. He couldn't care less about these Nobles, they're all the same. "Small mercies,” he added, but if he sounded a little more unenthusiastic he might as well be dead. 

Hyunjin simply grinned at him, before turning to Seungmin to talk about the Seok Estate layout or whatever, Jeongin wouldn't know, because he had tuned them out. 

He wished Felix was here. 

He would totally let Jeongin cling to him to calm his nerves, and Jeongin would have an excuse to hold his hand for the whole evening or something. 

That would make dressing up and spending prolonged time with the company he did not prefer worth it. 

But Felix wasn't here. 

He was somewhere in the capital, celebrating his friend's birthday. Jeongin wished they would hold the banquet on another day. Or maybe Felix’s friend could have his birthday on another day. He didn’t really care, either way. 

"We're here," Chan said, and Jeongin realized that their carriage had come to a stop. "Stick together," he added. Not even a few seconds later, the coach door swung open, revealing the Seoks’ grand estate. A red carpet extended before them, guiding their steps toward the imposing doors of the estate.

The estate grounds were illuminated with strategically placed lanterns, casting a warm ambiance. The night air created an atmosphere of celebration. Jeongin could smell the fragrance of blooming flowers in the air.

What happened next was a blur, because Jeongin was trying his best to think of something else. He felt… overwhelmed, because suddenly, everything was suffocating. 

Because suddenly, it hit him all over again, this was his life now; not the life he had known his entire life, but this brand new, carefully polished and maintained facade that left him feeling like a stranger in his own skin. 

He registered being introduced to the rest of the Royal family—namely, the Byung brothers’ family. They were all smiling at him pleasantly, which Jeongin could barely return. 

He avoided looking in the direction of Byungjoon the entire time, not caring how that was perceived by everybody else. 

He didn’t like the guy. 

He wasn’t going to pretend he liked him, the bastard didn’t deserve any common courtesy because he himself lacked those. Jeongin was going to stand by that until the day he died.  

Next, he was introduced to some of the others’ parents, and he didn’t really get to form an opinion on them because it was all very brief, they barely nodded and smiled at each other—he faintly registered the way Hyunjin’s parents stared at him and decided that he didn’t like them, they stared at him like they were scrutinizing even the way he was breathing—before the Seoks were there, and another round of introduction happened. 

Considering what Chan said about Seok Hyunwoo, Jeongin watched as he interacted with the King. He certainly seemed nice enough, but everyone would be nice enough when they’re talking with the King himself.

“Hyunwoo-yah, happy birthday!” the King congratulated as he clasped the guy in the back.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Hyunwoo replied, smiling. “It’s an honor to have you all with us today,” he added as he looked around, looking like he was making sure he caught everyone’s eyes.

The King returned the smile as he tilted his head to the side slightly. “But this is rare, are you without company tonight?”

“Ah…” Hyunwoo said, looking sheepish for a moment. “Please forgive us, Your Highness. My dear sister has been quite distraught today, and it all came to a head just before you arrived. My date has kindly offered to calm her down, since she’s quite taken with him.”

“Oh?” The King remarked as he looked around, noticing the absence of the younger Seok. “There’s no need to apologize. Little Minkyung is young, so it's no surprise that a gathering of strangers would seem daunting to her. Seungmin used to be like that,” he said fondly, turning to smile at his son.

Seungmin simply returned the smile, but said nothing in response. 

“He has a younger sister called Minkyung. She’s six, I think, or seven,” Hyunjin told him in a whisper as the King returned his attention to the older Seok, Seok Hyunwoo’s father, exchanging pleasantries.

Jeongin hummed in response, storing the information for later. 

He had always wondered what it’d be like to have a sibling, a younger sibling. He was pretty sure he knew what it’s like to have an older sibling—or multiple older siblings—well enough already, with San and Wooyoung around. 

The Seoks greeted the rest of the Royal family before guiding them inside. 

Jeongin, for once, was glad that he was used to living in the palace, because nothing surprised him anymore. The Silvercrest palace was bigger, grander, and more luxurious than any other place—except maybe Goldencrest, but that was a given. 

When they entered the Grand Hall, everyone was standing, their heads slightly bowed as Jeongin and the rest of the Royal family made their way to the head table. 

Their arrival was even announced. With music. A musical instrument Jeongin had never seen before. 

He thought it was ridiculous, but he kept it strictly to himself. Voicing out his opinion wasn’t going to change anything, anyway.  

If anyone told Jeongin that he would one day have Nobles bowing at him, he would’ve laughed at them, but that was kinda happening right now even though they weren’t just bowing at him specifically. 

Before he realized it, they had reached the head table, and he found himself seated between Seungmin and Hyunjin. 

The next thirty minutes or so was boring. 

They made a toast. Multiple toasts.

Honestly, Jeongin wasn’t entirely there. He had tuned everything out somewhere in the middle, when he caught sight of familiar faces.

The Ahns. 

Those vile people. They were here. 

Of course they were, they were one of the Twelve. Jeongin couldn’t believe he had forgotten that.

His gaze locked with Ahn Jungwon’s, Lord Ahn’s only son. He was a few years older than him and Jeongin hadn’t seen him ever since that day, the day they went to the Ahn estate back in Duskwood to grovel on their feet so that they’d let the search parties continue searching for his uncle. 

They were children back then, and Jeongin noticed how different Ahn Jungwon looked, but he’d recognize him anywhere. 

The guy had been there, after all, laughing at Jeongin’s family as his parents humiliated them.

He didn’t really understand why his parents and the other villagers always told them to stay away from the Nobles back then, but he understood well enough after that particular encounter. 

He remembered rushing forward to cling onto Lord Ahn’s expensive-looking trousers, only to be shoved back immediately as the older man’s hearty laughter filled the hot summer air, the way he smirked down at him so condescendingly as he said, “You’re delusional if you think I’ll spare the least of my resources to look for your dead uncle, kid.”

He remembered the way Lord Ahn’s face twisted in mock empathy as he said, “If you kissed my boots I’ll give it another consideration.”

He remembered being pulled back, his father immediately kneeling and kissing the older man’s shoes, only for him to burst into another bout of laughter, this one followed by his wife and his son. 

They mocked them some more, before kicking them out of their luxurious porch, their request dismissed without an ounce of empathy or consideration. 

Judging from the way Ahn Jungwon’s face paled significantly when their eyes met, it seemed like he hadn't forgotten Jeongin and his family, too. 

Good, he thought, a strange sense of satisfaction filling his chest with warmth. Let them be nervous. No one deserves to be treated that way. His family didn’t deserve to be treated that way even though they were nobodies, even though they had no power, no status. Somehow, now, he was sitting with the Royal family, staring down at the Ahns, as the soulmate to the crown prince, as one of the heirs to the throne. 

He had never felt more grateful for what had happened the past few weeks than in that moment. 

Maybe being the soulmate of the crown prince had its perks. People won’t walk all over him now. 

The thought didn’t make him feel all that better, because if he wasn’t Seungmin’s soulmate, nothing would change. People won’t walk all over him not because of anything, but because they respected Seungmin and the King, so it meant nothing. 

He was momentarily distracted by the shuffling around their table, and he realized that there was music now, and he could smell the faint scent of food. The servants served their table first, before they went around the Grand Hall to serve all the other tables. 

“How are you holding up?” He heard Seungmin’s voice, concerned. When Jeongin glanced at him, though, he couldn’t see anything on the other’s expression, he was neutral, composed, gracious. 

Jeongin thought it was amazing—if not a little off-putting as well, because it was everything he wasn’t—how Seungmin handled himself in front of other people. 

“I’ll survive,” he replied quietly. 

“Just a few more hours,” Seungmin replied, his lips barely moving. 

It sounded like it was meant to be reassurance, but to Jeongin, it wasn't. A few more hours here sounded like a new brand of torture, but he had no choice. They hadn’t even gone through the worst, Hyunjin had told Jeongin that after they were done with the meals, they’d probably go around the Grand Hall to socialize.

“Yeah,” Jeongin said flatly. “Just a few more hours.”

He heard a quiet snort from Hyunjin’s direction, making his lip twitch upward in a very slight smile. 

They ate quietly, Jeongin could hear the conversation happening between the King–who was sitting right beside Seungmin–and Lord Seok, sometimes joined by Seok Hyunwoo as well. The King was mostly singing the guy praises, sounding like he had absolute faith that he’d do well as the Head of their family, and consequently the Head of the Twelve. 

Against his will, he even learned that while Seok Hyunwoo had been chosen and appointed as the Heir of the Seok family, he wouldn’t serve as the Head of the family anytime soon. For now, he’d shadow his father around, at least for another year or two.  

Fates, Jeongin hated that he learned that. He didn’t care.  

He had just finished his food, politely rejecting the staff when they offered him dessert, when he heard Lord Seok’s voice, “There they are,” he said, sounding relieved. 

He was going to glance at the older man’s direction to see what he was referring to but he didn’t get to because he could hear an alarming noise from his side.

Jeongin turned to see Hyunjin quite literally choking on his drink. 

He stared at him in concern, reaching out to give him a pat on the back or something, but then he took in the other’s expression—eyes practically bulging from their sockets, so he followed the older’s line of sight and he momentarily forgot to breathe.

He could see a little girl—probably Seok Minkyung, Seok Hyunwoo’s younger sister—being ushered towards them, towards the head table. 

That wasn’t what shocked him, though.

His mind had stopped working—or at least, it forgot how to work for a brief moment because the person holding Seok Minkyung’s hand was someone familiar, someone Jeongin would recognize no matter how his hair was styled, or what kind of clothing he was wearing.

That person was undeniably, Felix, unless he had a twin brother Jeongin had never heard about. 

His mind struggled to process what he was seeing, because Felix wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be at his friend’s birthday dinner, why would he be—

Birthday dinner. 

The banquet was to celebrate Seok Hyunwoo’s appointment as the Heir of the Seok Family, as well as his birthday.

He watched as the two made their way through the Grand Hall; Felix’s attention was entirely on Seok Minkyung, who was clinging on to him, seemingly too nervous to let go. Even from afar, Jeongin could see his lips moving, saying something to the little girl. 

Jeongin watched as Felix finally looked up, eyes fleeting in their direction, catching Seok Hyunwoo’s eyes before his eyes shifted to the rest of the table.

Then, he stopped in his tracks, eyes comically wide, mouth hanging slightly open. 

If Jeongin wasn’t sporting the exact same expression, he might’ve laughed.

The middle-aged lady who was escorting the two noticed that Felix had stopped, even Seok Minkyung was looking up to him in confusion. The lady quickly turned around, saying something and snapping Felix out of his reverie, and then they resumed walking over towards the head table. 

Felix looked just as dumbfounded as Jeongin was feeling, which was great because if he didn’t, Jeongin would’ve felt extremely betrayed or something. 

But then it hit him. 

Felix was friends with Seok Hyunwoo, the Heir of the Seok Family, the Head of the Twelve Noble Families. 

Wait a minute, the guy talked about his date helping calm his sister, and said sister walked into the Grand Hall practically glued to Felix’s side. 

Seok Hyunwoo’s date is Felix? 

How did that happen?

How did they even meet? 

Jeongin’s stomach churned unpleasantly, and he was pretty sure that it had nothing to do with the food. 

He regretted not pressing Felix for more details about his new friends, he realized that he had no idea who their names were, save for Yeonjun’s soulmates who had accompanied Felix in his quest to search for his uncle multiple times. He knew that the one named Kai had a missing family member too—his cousin or something, he also knew the one named Taehyun was an apprentice for a mage. 

He knew Felix had other friends, the one whose family owned a clock shop, and then the hyungs he met in the library. Felix hadn’t mentioned any other friends, so that could only mean one thing.

Seok Hyunwoo was probably one of the hyungs Felix had met in the public library, he concluded slowly. 

Why would a Greater Noble spend time in the public library? He knew by now that these Nobles had their own libraries in their ridiculously large estate. 

Jeongin wasn’t entirely sure how this had happened, but the truth was that Felix’s friend’s birthday dinner was the banquet he was attending.

Fates. 

Give it to Felix to befriend more Nobles. 

Jeongin should’ve seen this coming. He’d gotten along with Lee Minhyuk, he had willingly spent time with Seungmin’s bastard cousins, Jeongin should’ve known that he wouldn’t have any problem befriending more Nobles. 

His thoughts were interrupted when Felix and Minkyung, escorted by the lady who was now backing up with her head bowed respectfully, arrived in front of the head table. 

The little girl curtsied respectfully, suddenly looking like she was proper and older than her actual age, and Felix dazedly followed her lead, bowing deeply and respectfully to them. 

“Oh?” the king’s eyes lit up in recognition. Beside him, Seungmin looked like he momentarily lost his composure, expression shocked and dumbfounded. “Mr. Lee! This is a surprise,” he said, turning to Hyunwoo. 

Jeongin would very much like to see what kind of expression Hyunwoo was sporting, but that wasn’t possible because the guy seemed to be leaning back, so his view of him was obstructed. He redirected his attention back to Felix, a nervous smile that almost looked like a grimace plastered on his face, eyes flickering between—Jeongin guessed—the King and Seok Hyunwoo. 

He could hear the guy’s polite laugh from there, sounding a little strained, “Yes, this is Lee Felix, a good friend of mine.”

“Oh, that is wonderful!” the King replied, seemingly delighted. Jeongin was momentarily distracted as the middle-aged lady started gesturing for Felix and Seok Minkyung to take their seats with the Seoks, only catching what the King said at the end. “—a start of a new friendship.”

“That would be an honor, Your Highness.”

“Excellent!”

Now that Felix had taken his place, most likely right beside Seok Hyunwoo, Jeongin couldn’t really see him anymore—well, he could probably see him if he stood, or if he leaned forward and made the effort to get a look at him, but that would be too obvious, and he’d probably be scolded later on by Mrs. Im, who was somewhere in the Grand Hall, he was sure. 

The older woman was definitely watching his every move, making very detailed mental notes that would bring him a lot of headaches later.   

Jeongin thought he was having a pretty shitty day because he was stuck in this banquet while Felix was on the other side of the city. 

He didn’t think it could get worse, but it did, because now Felix was there but he was there as Seok Hyunwoo’s date, and he just… he hated how he was feeling. 

Jeongin wanted to get up and grab Felix, and then he’d drag him away from this banquet, the palace, the capital. 

He’d drag him all the way back to Duskwood, where there were just the two of them and the hyungs, where there were fewer Nobles, where there were no palaces and banquets, where he was just the son of a farmer and Felix was just the new guy in the village.  

There, they’d forget all that had happened, and Jeongin would stop waking up wishing that he just had a lengthy, unpleasant dream. 

They would sit side by side underneath that huge, old tree near the fields. Jeongin would take the long way around the village when he was doing his errands just so that he could run into Felix, and they’d walk together for a little while, shoulders brushing occasionally, before they had to part ways. 

He’d follow Felix around the village as he went around and greeted the villagers cheerfully, with that bright smile of his, and Jeongin would be content to listen as he chatted with the merchants in the market. 

They’d laugh at San and Wooyoung together whenever they were making a fool of themselves, share an exasperated but fond look whenever the two were being disgustingly in love and maybe one day Jeongin would stop watching the two with poorly hidden envy, because now that he’d met Felix, he finally understood—maybe he wouldn’t mind being disgustingly in love when it was with him. Maybe he wanted it a little desperately, pathetically. 

Back home, they’d be able to spend more time together because he wouldn’t have stupid lessons to attend, and they’d grow closer. And then maybe one day Felix would talk about himself more, and Jeongin would finally learn all there was to learn about him. 

And maybe, maybe then Jeongin would finally find the courage to tell him. 

To speak plainly about how much he meant to him, to tell him that he couldn’t care less about the fates or soulmates, that none of those mattered to him, not when he was right there in front of him. 

The food he had finished not so long ago now felt like a huge mistake, because he was feeling sick.

There was something at the back of his mind, there was something deep in his stomach. It was all but a seed at first, but it grew—it started like an itch, small and insignificant, quite easy to ignore. 

But as it grew, it got harder to ignore; that persistent, nagging feeling.

It grew significantly during Lee Minhyuk’s stay in the palace. It grew even more today, because once again, Felix was with someone else, and Jeongin’s thoughts spiraled out of control.

Why was he Seok Hyunwoo’s date? Was Seok Hyunwoo his soulmate? What if they were soulmates? Did he like Seok Hyunwoo that way? 

What was he supposed to do if he wanted to find out but also, did not want to find out? 

The buzz of conversation felt like an unpleasant ring in his ears, and Jeongin wasn’t sure if he could handle just a few more hours of this bullshit. 

“Hey,” Seungmin said from beside him, voice soft and quiet. And then, he felt a gentle squeeze on his arm, and when he finally turned to look at the older, he was met with concern. 

Jeongin took a deep, steadying breath, hoping that it would be enough to ease the unpleasant feeling, just a little bit. 

It did nothing. 

Well.

As much as he wanted to leave this place and its too-bright lights, as much as he wanted to escape the pairs of eyes scrutinizing his every move, he couldn’t. 

He needed to get a grip and mimic Seungmin’s impressive poker face. 

It’ll be fine. This would be over in a few hours and then he’d be back at Silvercrest and Felix would be there with him, too, and then they could talk about this and maybe it would be a little easier to breathe again. 

Yeah. He just needed to wait, to be patient. He could do that. 

Realizing that he had zoned out for a moment there, he shook himself out of the daze and gave Seungmin a small, quick smile in an attempt to communicate that he was fine. 

Seungmin didn’t look particularly assured, but he gave Jeongin’s arm another squeeze and directed his attention back at his father and Lord Seok, who were already engaged in another conversation; it sounded like they were talking about taxes this time.

If it was any other day, Jeongin would probably put in effort to at least listen even though he knew he probably wouldn’t understand most of it, but he felt strangely drained already, so he let himself sit back as he directed his attention to the staff around the hall, who was busy serving the guests. 

Sighing internally, he turned to glance at his other side. 

His eyes met Jisung’s. 

Jisung, who was sitting there with an unreadable expression on his face. Right beside him, Hyunjin was so still that Jeongin wondered if he was breathing. 

Somehow, Jeongin felt like he was understood the moment their gazes locked—him and Jisung. Something was telling him that Jisung might just understand exactly how he was feeling, and maybe that made him feel a little bit better; not by a significant amount, but at least it was something. 

Jeongin wished the banquet would end right about now. 

 

---

 

Things hadn’t been going well for Chan for a while now. 

His father always taught him that every problem had a solution. He always taught him that the best way to solve problems was to face them head-on. 

Plan your counter-move and execute it, he always said. 

Chan lived by those words. 

For every problem he encountered, he always took a step back, evaluated the situation, and then he’d construct a detailed plan to solve it—so far, the strategy had never failed him. Sure, he’s had to make changes sometimes, but things have always, more or less, worked. 

This was probably the first time he thought that maybe, maybe not everything has a solution.

Maybe, not everything can be solved, because he had been committed to the comprehensive plan he designed to get rid of this mistake he had made—this… this crush he had on Felix, and nothing seemed to work. If anything, he felt like it was doing the opposite.

He had spent a lot of time thinking, weighing and considering what would be the best course of action, and he decided to go with overexposure. 

You know, since he had been getting increasingly affected by the tiniest things when it came to Felix, he figured that if he got used to it, he’d get less affected—he wouldn’t even bat an eye when the guy smiled at him like he thought Chan was particularly amazing, he would stop fumbling when he remembered that he was watching his every move as he sparred with the guards, he’d stop instinctively reaching out to pat his shoulder or ruffle his hair when he found him cute.

So Chan spent time with Felix, he made the effort to talk to him—not that speaking to the younger required much effort, if at all—even though his first instinct was just to avoid him altogether, because sometimes the plans he had constructed in his mind were immediately forgotten the moment he saw that smile. 

He didn’t realize that it wasn’t working at first, at least, until that day.

They were just talking about Jeongin’s lessons, he was telling Felix about the way he had to go through the same thing when he was younger. 

They had their lessons together, him, Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin, and he was telling him about the kind of students they were—the way Seungmin was always a model student, the way Jisung would sometimes zone out, but he’d always have the right answer ready when he was questioned, or when Changbin would give their lecturer an apologetic, clueless smile when he was asked to repeat what had just been said because he wasn’t really paying attention. 

Felix was listening intently, a bright, fond smile plastered on his face as he tried to imagine the scene in his head, before he leaned forward ever-so-slightly in interest, asking, “What about you, hyung? What kind of student were you?”

And Chan went off about himself.

He thought he was the normal student, and he said as much—he told him that he was the kind of student who needed to really put in effort to achieve good results, so that was when he started to pull all-nighters to review the lessons they had, or to study for exams; but then suddenly, he felt himself flushing, because Felix was listening to him so attentively, looking like he found Chan’s worrying habits as a student fascinating. 

That fond smile was still there as he nodded and hummed here and there, and somehow, Chan felt himself averting his gaze instinctively, because the longer he stared into his eyes, the more his heart fluttered.

He felt his face going warm. 

Horrified, he directed his eyes back to Felix’s, but he was only able to last for a few seconds before he instinctively started averting his gaze again.

Chan realized that he had somehow lost the ability to look Felix in the eyes as he spoke to him, you know, like a normal person would.

The realization was horrifying, it was scary. 

Chan started wondering if his plan was ineffective, but he was nothing if he wasn’t persistent. His father had always taught him to push through, to not give up.  

So he started to challenge himself. 

He started to challenge himself to catch Felix’s eyes, to maintain eye contact unflinchingly, and, well.

He failed spectacularly. 

Both at the maintaining eye contact part, and the unflinchingly part. 

He was pretty sure Felix thought he was a weirdo by now, but strangely enough, the younger always indulged him in his quests, staring back with a clueless, confused smile on his face. 

A smile Chan would always find adorable. 

He’d then catch himself in the thought, and then he’d avert his eyes as a reflex, because maintaining eye contact while embarrassing thoughts were running in his mind was too much.

Lately, Felix would give his shoulder a comforting pat whenever he saw him caving in, eyes wide and bright with sympathy like he was telling Chan that it was alright, that he could try again next time. 

Honestly, Chan was just glad that he never pointed out how weird he was being, because he wouldn’t know what to say. 

Thank fates he was at least crushing on the kindest guy in the Kingdom or something. 

Now that he knew that his strategy was ineffective, he was at a loss. Should he abandon it and look for an alternative? He couldn’t think of anything, except maybe to avoid Felix altogether, but he didn’t want to do that.  

He liked Felix. They weren’t soulmates, sure, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends.

Plus, he was important to Jeongin, so avoiding him would just backfire. Well, he was important to Chan, too, in a platonic, bro kind of way.

Ideally. Soon. In the future, it will be like that. Chan was working on it.

At least, that was the plan. 

Here’s the thing. 

Seeing Felix glued to Lee Minhyuk was not very pleasant. At first, Chan thought that it would serve as a nice wake-up call for him, to reinforce that Felix was off the table, but that didn’t make him feel better. He felt miserable, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. 

At least, he thought he could handle it just fine, until Changbin came after him with that no-nonsense attitude of his, and Chan learned that he wasn’t alone in his… crisis.

Jisung was in a similar predicament. Hyunjin was freaking out. And Chan… Chan was not sure what to do, because he couldn’t think of a plan, a strategy that would help.   

Everything was a mess. 

They had an eighth soulmate, Seungmin lied to the King and the King thought that they were complete as a seven. There was a highly suspicious gathering that might just be the start of a rebellion, and even now, the Redmond incident still remains unsolved. 

Chan would like to think that they all had enough on their plates, thank you very much, but of course they had more to deal with. 

He was nowhere closer to getting over his crisis, and now said crisis was here at the banquet as Seok Hyunwoo’s date. 

No matter what he tried telling himself, he felt miserable. Even more so when he remembered that some of his mates probably shared the sentiment. 

He hated it because it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

His father taught him a lot of things, but he never taught him this. 

The worry that had plagued his mind the entire evening seemed to have evolved into something else, into something more, because his insides had started clenching in unease. There was a weird, unpleasant sensation deep in his gut.  

“I told you,” Minho muttered under his breath—only loud enough for Chan and Changbin to hear because he was sitting between the two—, lips barely moving. “ I told you. We took our eyes off him for a second and he stumbled into a cult meeting. We took our eyes off him for a second and he befriends the Heir to a Greater Noble family. The literal Head of the Twelve.”

Beside him, Changbin could be seen trying his best to keep his expression neutral, but he had never been very good at it. At least, not as good as the rest of them. “Maybe we should just ask the guards to follow him around,” he muttered quietly, sounding like he shared Minho’s sentiment. “You know, discreetly.”

“We can’t do that,” Chan sighed, feeling completely exhausted all of a sudden. 

“Why not?” Minho asked, looking like he thought Changbin’s idea was brilliant. 

“Imagine how upset he’d feel when he finds out.”

“So? At least he’d be safe. At least he wouldn’t go off to a friend’s birthday dinner only to appear in a banquet hosted by one of the Twelve. Something tells me that he has no idea we’d be here.”

“He won’t find out,” Changbin said, addressing Chan’s concern. “The guards are good at what they do and Felix, well, he’s not all that attentive. He’s so easily distracted.”

Chan fought the urge to frown, because he knew Changbin was right and that only made it harder not to agree with what he was proposing. “We’re not making the guards tail him,” he said, tone final. “And we’re not discussing this now. Save it for later.” 

He could faintly hear Changbin grumbling to himself, but neither he nor Minho attempted to resume the conversation, which Chan was grateful for. 

In all honesty, Chan would really like to know how Felix ended up befriending Seok Hyunwoo. 

To his knowledge, Nobles, especially Greater Nobles, barely ever went to the city. They mostly spent time in the inner districts, and he knew that whenever Felix went out, he went to the city. The route he took in the underground tunnels got him straight to the public library, which was in the heart of the city, close to the markets and the outer shopping districts. 

Logically speaking, they shouldn’t be able to run into each other, so Chan was curious.

Not long after, the music changed into something quieter, and he could see how people started moving from their tables, going around the Hall and greeting each other with practiced, calculated smiles. 

He suppressed the urge to sigh. Time to socialize.

Usually, this was the part he was most excited for. 

He enjoyed socializing and getting to know other people—and he genuinely thought that some of the Nobles and Gentry were decent people, although Hyunjin would always readily disagree with him because he believed everything was just a facade. 

Chan didn’t share the sentiment, but he knew better than to debate Hyunjin. 

He might’ve lived as an heir longer than Hyunjin had, but they barely ever got to participate in this kind of thing while Hyunjin participated in every single one. Or at least, every single banquet and gathering his parents deemed worth attending, which was a lot.

“Ah, boys!” a voice called as Chan pushed himself up, and it took all his effort to keep his expression neutral because that voice belonged to the Byung Brothers’ mother, Kim Dahye. He turned just in time to see the lady approaching them graciously, her three children, the Byung brothers and their sister right behind her. “It’s really good to see you. You all look dashing.” 

Before anyone could say anything in response, she continued, “I’m so happy for all of you. You finally found your final piece, hmm? What a wonderful addition,” She smiled at them like her son never decked Jeongin in the face. Jeongin met her eyes readily, staring back at her with a straight face. Chan could feel his face twitching, annoyance getting the better of him and taking his ability to be civil. “You look great together.” 

“Thank you, Aunt Dahye.”

Fates bless Seungmin. Thank fates Seungmin exists.

“Of course, of course,” she replied, undeterred by the lack of response from the rest of them. She turned to her children, saying, “My loves, why don’t you spend some time with your cousins, hmm? The night’s still young.”

Fates, no. 

Chan enjoyed socializing, and he wasn’t picky, but the recent events had just made the Byung brothers and their family his least preferred company, thank you very much. 

He wasn’t sure whether to feel offended or grateful, because he could see how the three siblings shared his sentiment. 

Kim Sein, the eldest, couldn’t look more uninterested even if she tried. Byungho, as usual, looked like he did not want to be here, Chan could practically sense the nervousness radiating off him. To other people, Byungjoon probably looked bored, but Chan had known him long enough to notice the very faint signs of distaste on his face.

They were not going to spend the rest of the night with them. Chan would make sure of that. 

“Prince Seungmin,” came another voice, and they were suddenly joined by the man of the hour, Seok Hyunwoo himself. Beside him was Felix, who had the most awkward smile Chan had ever seen him wear, beating even the ones from those first few days of their stay with them. “We’re about to go around the Hall to greet the guests. Would you like to join us?”

“We’d love to join you,” Seungmin replied, and then he turned to his aunt and cousins, flashing them a very practiced, apologetic smile. “I’ll see you around Aunt Dahye, Cousins.”

Seok Hyunwoo had just unknowingly saved them from an evening of torture. Chan knew his father was right. He was definitely a good guy. 

Aunt Dahye nodded in understanding, her smile unwavering as she excused herself, her children followed closely behind.

Thank fates, thank heavens, thank Seok Hyunwoo, happy fucking birthday you absolute champion.

“I would introduce you,” Hyunwoo started when the three siblings and their mother were far enough, smiling sheepishly as his eyes darted between them and Felix. “But it seems like you already know each other.”

It took one second for Felix’s awkward smile to disappear, replaced now by a sullen glare he pointedly shot at Hyunwoo. 

Chan liked how much of an open book he was. 

If there was anything good that came from the fact that he was not their soulmate, it was surely this. He would remain himself, no one would force him to sit down and learn how to school his expression, to keep everything carefully under wraps, to always have that layer of facade all around him.

“Felix did mention he was going to a friend’s birthday dinner,” Seungmin said lightly.

Felix turned to him, “Yeah,” he said, sounding a little nervous. “That’s what hyung told me. That he’s having a birthday dinner,” he said, losing the nervousness towards the end and unnecessarily emphasizing the word dinner.

Chan wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but it sounded like Felix had no idea that said dinner was in fact, the banquet they were attending. Minho was right, which wasn’t surprising. 

To his credit, Hyunwoo looked guilty. He glanced towards them like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk with them here. “Lix…” he started hesitantly.

“Don’t Lix me, hyung.”

Hyunwoo’s brow furrowed as he bit on his lower lip anxiously, looking like he was trying to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But in my defense, you never mentioned that you knew the King and the Princes.”

That was evidently, the wrong thing to say, because Felix’s eyes widened, looking like he couldn’t believe Hyunwoo just said what he said. “You didn’t tell me that this—that you—” Felix gestured helplessly around him. 

There was a few beats of silence.

“I know that I haven’t been entirely forthcoming about my birthday dinner,” Hyunwoo said slowly, carefully. “I’m sorry–”

“Entirely forthcoming?” Felix repeated, sounding slightly hysterical. “Birthday dinner? Hyung, you’re the only one who calls it dinner. Everyone else calls it a banquet.”

“Well, actually, a banquet is just—” Hyunwoo tried, but quickly stopped because Felix looked like he was even madder by the second. 

The sight was a little amusing to Chan. He just realized that he had never seen Felix so irritated before.

He was fuming. 

Chan thought it was cute. Watching him get mad was like watching an angry kitten or something, which was very endearing and not scary at all. He felt a weird sense of satisfaction as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Felix might be Hyunwoo’s date, but he was also pissed at him, and somehow Chan felt a little relieved. 

Fates. 

What was his problem? When did he turn into this kind of person?

“Wait, so you didn’t know who he is?” Changbin jumped into the conversation, brows knitted as he eyed Hyunwoo suspiciously. 

“What?” Felix turned to him, confused. “No, I know who he is.”

Now Changbin seemed confused, too. 

“It’s a little complicated,” Hyunwoo swooped in, shooting Changbin an apologetic look before he turned to Felix. “I’ll explain everything later, I promise. Forgive me?” he asked, sounding a little desperate.

Chan was starting to feel a little bad for the guy, because he seemed genuinely distressed now. 

It seemed like Felix shared the same sentiment, because Chan watched as his eyes softened. The moment he saw that, he knew that Seok Hyunwoo was probably forgiven. “I’ll decide after you explain,” Felix huffed. Hyunwoo’s face fell, but he continued. “I can’t believe you did that to me, hyung. Mr. Hong absolutely hated me. I stepped on him twice.” 

Hyunwoo blinked, and then his whole expression changed—maybe he finally caught on to the fact that while Felix was still sulky about what happened, he wasn’t mad. Not anymore. 

Hyunwoo’s lips twitched, and soon he was trying, and failing to suppress a smile. ”It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Yeah, sure, just laugh at me. Come to my birthday dinner, Lix, oops, it’s not a dinner, it’s a banquet. By the way, you know how to dance, don’t you? No? Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. Oops, sorry, turns out that I have a few things to attend to, here, Mr. Hong, who is most definitely not the most terrifying man in the Kingdom ever, will teach you instead.”

The moment Hyunwoo burst out laughing was the moment Chan was starting to feel like he didn’t want to be there, because see, that sensation was back—the persistent, unpleasant feeling deep in his gut. Felix was now watching the guy with something akin to fondness in his eyes, despite his attempt to look unamused, despite the way he folded his arms to appear annoyed.

“Well,” Hyunwoo took a deep breath as his laughter ceased. “I’m sure he didn’t hate you.”

“You don’t understand, hyung. I think it was his favorite shoes or something. He was looking at me like I was a mosquito he’s trying to squash between his palms.”

“I’ll see what I can do about it,” Hyunwoo grinned. “Maybe we can get him a new pair of shoes. Junnie could help, he has good taste.”

And then suddenly, the two went absolutely still and silent. 

That only lasted for a few seconds, because slowly, Chan could see how Hyunwoo’s expression twisted into something akin to horror, while in contrast, a smile slowly bloomed on Felix’s face until he was beaming—seemingly delighted.  

“Really, now?” Felix asked, tone teasing.

“No.”

“I see.”

“I misspoke,” Hyunwoo insisted, but it seemed like he failed to convince Felix because the other didn’t even reply, he just smiled at Hyunwoo like he was very happy about something.

“Please don’t,” Hyunwoo pleaded. “He’ll be insufferable. He’s already insufferable, don’t make it worse.”

Felix just hummed in response, and Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to say more, but then he froze.

And then his eyes flickered towards them. 

“Sorry, Your Highnesses,” Hyunwoo said sheepishly, ears turning red. He definitely forgot they were there. “Shall we?”

It was overall, a very weird experience, because Chan felt like there were a lot of things he wanted to say, but he was also speechless. Seok Hyunwoo and Felix looked like good friends, and Chan suddenly wondered if they were friends, or if they were something more. 

What if they were soulmates? 

His stomach dropped at the thought, but that would make sense.

Why else would someone of Hyunwoo’s status be with Felix? Felix was everything, he was perfe—he was great, and his status didn’t matter to Chan, but he knew that wasn’t the norm. He knew upper-class' way of thinking.

Slowly, they walked as a group around the Head table, making their way toward the general direction of the center of the Grand Hall. Hyunwoo kept Felix close, which didn’t help Chan feel better at all. 

“Your Highnesses! It’s been a while,” a voice said, and Chan turned just in time to see Im Hyojeon, the Head of the Im Family, approaching them with a big smile on his face. He faintly registered Seok Hyunwoo excusing himself, dragging Felix in tow, but he didn’t get to think or react to it because Lord Im was already there in front of them.

“Lord Im,” Chan greeted him politely, trying to ignore the unease he was feeling as he watched those two walk further away from them. “It's always a pleasure to see you. Is everything well Crimson Peak, as of late?”

Im Hyojeon chuckled, his eyes gleaming with pride. “All is well in Crimson Peak. We've had our share of curious cases recently, but it’s nothing too pressing.”

“Oh?” Minho joined in, eyebrows raised slightly in curiosity. “Consider me intrigued. Perhaps you could share some of them with us?”

The man’s smile turned a little glum, “But this is such a joyous occasion, I don't want to bore you by mentioning legal matters. Perhaps some other times, Your Highness?”

“Of course,” Minho replied smoothly, even though Chan knew that he probably wanted to push Lord Im for details. “I’ll look forward to it.”

The Im Family oversaw the Justice and Law sector, so they would be aware of any major cases and happenings—the High Court was located in Crimson Peak, after all, and the Judicial Academy, as well as a bunch of other institutions designed to educate and train law enforcers were located there. 

Crimson Peak had sent their top investigators to the Capital to assist with the Redmont incident, as well, although nothing had come out of it.

Yet. Chan believed that they would catch them soon.

They have to. 

Lord Im bowed and excused himself swiftly, and Chan was just glad that he came to greet them alone tonight. He had a son who was Minho’s age, Im Sungjeon. He was Seungmin’s childhood friend. 

Well, friend might be too much of a strong word, because Seungmin used to be very quiet and shy.

Lord Im was one of the King’s closest and most trusted companions, so he’d sometimes visit the palace with his son in tow. 

They had tried to make Seungmin play with Sungjeon, but as Seungmin had insisted multiple times, they ended up playing separately in the same room instead of playing together. 

As they grew older, Sungjeon stopped tagging along with his father, and nowadays they only see each other on occasions like this; in gatherings, parties and banquets; at least, the ones they attended. 

Sungjeon was nice, but having him around felt awkward. The guy was very quiet, even now. They had all tried to make conversations whenever he was around, but his answers were always short, brief, and to the point. Sometimes it felt like they were interviewing him instead of having a conversation. 

Time passed in a blur then. 

People kept coming over to them, one after another, eager to engage in polite and measured talks. 

Everyone was nice, of course, everyone was always extremely nice to them. The banquet was attended by all of the Greater Noble families, although a few select Lesser Noble families got to attend as well. 

They were the next in line for the throne, so Chan understood that the Greater Nobles were trying to get into their favor in hopes that they’d be chosen as the next Head of the Twelve.

He understood that, which was why sometimes this kind of social event was very draining. 

He wished there was a way to build genuine connections with these people.

They had just finished speaking with Lord Cha and his wife. Surprisingly, no one immediately took their place, so they got to have a minute to breathe.

“Maybe you’re right,” he heard Jisung’s quiet voice to his left. When Chan turned to look at him, Jisung wasn’t looking at him; he was instead staring straight across the hall. Beside him, Jeongin was doing the same. 

Chan followed their line of sight only to find Felix at the end of it.

Felix, who was listening as Hyunwoo leaned closer to whisper something into his ear, arm wrapped loosely around his waist. 

Did he eat too much earlier? Suddenly, his shirt felt all too tight around him, his chest filling up with something unpleasant.

“Maybe it’s better to just… stop thinking,” Jisung continued. When Chan glanced back at him, he was met with a very thoughtful frown. Jeongin was now watching Jisung, a similar frown etched across his face. “I… don’t like what I'm feeling.”

The moment it clicked, what Jisung meant, was the moment Chan realized that feeling was back. 

It was the moment Chan realized that it had nothing to do with the banquet, about socializing with the rest of the guests, about what they were whispering behind their backs about their recent addition.

That unpleasant churn of his stomach, the weight that had settled deep inside his chest—it was all a reaction to Felix. 

Were crushes supposed to be this taxing? This emotionally taxing? 

He wouldn’t know. His previous crushes had always been on his soulmates after all; you know, the people who were literally destined for him, the people he was going to spend the rest of his life with, so he never experienced this before. 

Chan wanted it to stop.

He wanted to stop feeling this way, he wanted to stop being so affected by the littlest things Felix did, he wanted to stop feeling torn and guilty, he wanted to stop looking at Felix like there was hope they could be more, when he knew that they couldn’t .

He also wanted to march over there and drag Felix back here, where he belonged, because he’s Jeongin’s friend, wasn’t he? He was Jeongin’s friend and their friend and he lived with them, so he belonged there with them, didn’t he?

He didn’t belong all the way across the hall, standing all by himself looking completely lost—

Wait, standing all by himself? 

Chan blinked, but nothing changed. 

Felix was now standing there, all alone, Seok Hyunwoo was nowhere in sight.

He was just about to open his mouth to ask Jisung, or maybe Jeongin, because the two had been watching so maybe they saw what happened, but then his stomach dropped because he saw Byungjoon in all his glory, marching towards Felix, a confident smile etched on his face. 

Even if Chan sprinted, he wouldn’t have been able to reach him before Byungjoon did, so he simply stood there and watched. 

That unpleasant feeling that had been his constant companion this evening was suddenly intensified, it was changing.

Chan realized that he was angry. 

Sure, watching Felix with Lee Minhyuk and Seok Hyunwoo hadn’t been pleasant, but if there was anyone he did not want anywhere near Felix, near him or any one of his mates, it was Byungjoon. 

He felt a hand on his arm, followed by a worried, “Hyung,” though. 

It was then Chan realized that he was trying to get there. He had, unconsciously, started moving, he had taken a step towards where Byungjoon was—where Felix was. 

Seungmin’s expression was filled with concern. The concern remained even after he loosened his grip on Chan’s arm. 

“Sorry,” Chan muttered, voice hoarse and pitiful, which was just great because this was really not the time for this. Whatever this was. 

If it wouldn’t have any repercussions on the public—on the Nobles’ perception of them, Chan would’ve asked Changbin to punch him in the face so that he could snap out of it and get a grip. 

...Maybe that wasn’t a good idea, because Changbin would never agree to that. Maybe he could ask his father instead. He had never raised his hand to him, but if he could convince his father that he was progressively losing his mind, that he was hoping a slap to the face would help him snap out of it, he might actually do it. 

It felt like everything in his life had spiraled out of control.

He needed to figure out what to do, otherwise it was only going to get worse from here, he could already feel it.  

Fates. Chan needed serious help.

 

---

 

Felix was having an okay night. 

Well, as soon as he got over the fact that Hyunwoo had lied to him, he was having an okay night. A more than okay night, maybe, because it was Hyunwoo’s birthday! Birthdays were happy occasions, that was just the way things were. 

That was until, Hyunwoo leaned closer, “I’m gonna take you to meet as many families as we could,” he whispered. “I’ll do the talking, but I need you to pay attention, alright?”

Felix blinked, and then he pulled away so that he could look his friend in the eyes, unable to hide his confusion. 

Hyunwoo shook his head slightly before he closed the distance between them; again, leaning so close to whisper into his ear he almost shivered. “Remember what we told you. We think a Noble is behind this,” he whispered more urgently, voice so low and quiet like he was terrified someone would overhear them. He was definitely terrified someone would overhear them. Now that Felix realized what he was talking about, he shared the same sentiment. “You don’t know these people, so you’re unbiased, unlike us. See if you can find anyone behaving suspiciously.”

See? 

That was decidedly the end of Felix’s more than okay night, because now that he was reminded of the very real threat towards Jeongin and his soulmates, his entire being was filled to the brim with worry.

As he pulled away, Hyunwoo sent him a bright smile like he wasn’t just talking about people who were trying to sabotage the Royal family not even a second ago.

Right, he probably needed Felix to do the same, to act like they weren’t just whispering about something so sinister.

The smile he gave Hyunwoo was definitely lacking, maybe even a borderline pathetic attempt at a smile, but his friend seemed to think that it was good enough.

And then they went around the Grand Hall. 

Felix wished they’d stuck with Seungmin and the others, because then he’d be able to watch every single person who interacted with them. He guessed it was too late for that now, because he couldn’t see them anymore; they were probably somewhere across the room, engaged in conversations with some random Nobles. 

He wished whoever was plotting against the Royal family wasn’t here tonight, but if they weren’t here he wouldn’t be able to find them… Not that he was confident he could find them, because it felt like Hyunwoo had taken him to greet and talk to a dozen people, and they all seemed really nice. 

The longer it went, the more he realized that he was not the right person for this, because now that he was here he could recall the things Minhyuk had taught him. 

You know, that time when he was trying to teach him how to behave like a Noble to deal with Nobles, and Felix remembered most of it being just keep your composure and smile, never show how you’re actually feeling in front of them, because they would use it. They’d see it as a weakness, which was just great. 

If that’s what everyone was doing, how was he supposed to find anyone suspicious? 

They’re all probably so good at acting however they needed to act that he wouldn’t be able to notice anything off. 

He wanted nothing more than to get Hyunwoo’s attention just to tell him that hey, you’re right, I’m not biased, so I might be able to provide a new perspective, but I can’t tell a lie from a not-lie, fake stuff from genuine stuff, so maybe I can’t be much help to you, but even thinking of it made him feel pathetic.

He didn’t want to be useless. He wanted to help.

“You alright?” Hyunwoo asked after a while, seemingly concerned. They had just finished talking to someone from the Heo family, who was, to Felix’s distress, just as nice as everyone else. 

It felt like he had talked to a hundred people and they were all nice and welcoming. Nothing was off, no one was off. It was driving him insane. 

“Yeah,” Felix said unconvincingly. “I’m great.”

The smile Hyunwoo gave him was sympathetic and understanding. He leaned in to whisper, “It’s almost over. Just a few more people, and then we’ll stop. We’ll find Kyuseok and Seojun, and spend the rest of the evening with them. I’m sorry, this must be overwhelming for you.”

Sighing, Felix replied, “No, hyung. It’s fine. I’m not overwhelmed, it’s just—”

“Heir Seok?” a voice interrupted what he was going to say. They both turned to see a middle-aged man, an old man? His face didn’t look that old, but the facial hair adorning his face was gray. “There’s something I need to discuss with you, if I may?”

“Lord Shin,” Hyunwoo greeted, a hint of surprise in his voice. “Of course.”

The man, Lord Shin, eyed Felix nervously. “I mean no offense,” he started, voice quiet. “But I’d like to bring this somewhere more… private, if possible.”

Hyunwoo opened his mouth, probably to argue, but Felix stepped in. “It’s okay, hyung,” he said. “I’ll be fine. You go.”

Now Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to argue with Felix, but he seemed to decide otherwise, lips pressed into a thin line. “I won’t be long,” he promised. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

Felix offered him a reassuring smile, and then Hyunwoo hurried away with Lord Shin. 

The moment he was left alone, he almost regretted what he did, because now he was in the middle of this fancy banquet all by himself, and he wasn’t sure what to do. Hyunwoo told him not to move, so he was planning to stay here in this spot, but it was getting increasingly awkward by the second because he wasn’t even sure where to look.

He was just standing still like a statue as he stared at the expensive-looking shoes Hyunwoo lent him today, wishing that Hyunwoo’s birthday dinner was a normal birthday dinner instead of this fancy thing with too many people attending. 

“Felix!” he heard someone call—someone exclaim, really, and before he got to look around for the source, the source had found him.

It was Byungjoon.

“Your Highness,” Felix greeted as politely as he could, but it probably came out awkward. After all, he still remembered what Byungjoon did to Jeongin, so he wasn’t pleased with him.

“I’ve been looking for you!” Byungjoon smiled, completely ignorant of how Felix was feeling. “You weren't there last time I visited.”

Felix opted to remain silent as he mustered the best smile he could muster at that moment, which was not much at all.

“I was going to ask you something,” Byungjoon went on. “I heard you’ve tamed that white horse they have. He’s beautiful, but he has a temper, that one. I couldn't believe what I was hearing,” he raised his eyebrows like he was prompting Felix to say something.

Felix wondered if he had forgotten about the incident with Jeongin entirely; or maybe he had forgotten that Felix was Jeongin’s friend, because he was talking to him like it didn’t matter when it mattered very much to Felix; because he hurt Jeongin and changed everything.

The moment Byungjoon found out about Jeongin was the moment he had to stay, the moment his choice was taken away from him.

“Ah…” Felix responded lamely. “Dongja’s a sweetheart.” 

“So it's true?” Byungjoon asked, leaning closer in intrigue. “You have to show me next time I visit.”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

There was a beat of silence, Byungjoon looked like he wanted to say something, but then he paused. Head tilted, he watched him calculatingly, like he was trying to figure something out. “Is something the matter? You seem upset.”

Oh, so he wasn’t entirely clueless then. 

Felix almost thought that Byungjoon simply didn’t have the social skills to recognize when the other person wasn’t entirely up for conversation. 

But then, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to tell Byungjoon the truth, that he was upset with him because he hurt Jeongin, but he also knew that he was a nobody. Why would his feelings matter to a literal prince? A literal prince he had only met once, at that. 

“What is it? Speak.”

Maybe it was the way Byungjoon demanded him to speak, or maybe it was the way he looked at Felix like he thought he was being ridiculous, but all doubts disappeared at that moment.

“You hurt Jeongin,” Felix said, he stated, deviance in his eyes. 

Logically, he knew that he wasn’t supposed to pick fights with Byungjoon; he was a prince, for fates’ sakes, but he couldn’t care less at that moment. 

He had heard a lot about Byungjoon from the others, so he completely expected the prince to retaliate, get angry, or maybe he’d deck Felix on the face like he did Jeongin, because Felix was a lowly commoner and he was probably stepping out of line. 

Surprisingly, though, Byungjoon did none of that. “Ah…” he said, looking intrigued more than anything.  “He was being disrespectful,” he offered matter-of-factly.

“Disrespectful?” Felix frowned. 

Jeongin was like, the best, kindest person Felix had ever met. Disrespectful wasn’t exactly a word he’d use to describe his friend. 

He was just about to say that out loud, but then he remembered the way Jeongin acted towards his soulmates when they first arrived, so maybe… Maybe Felix could imagine. 

He had heard a lot about Byungjoon from the others, but no one had told him exactly what happened between him and Jeongin the day it happened. “How so?” he asked.

“I was just asking for you,” Byungjoon said, seemingly bored now. “I asked them if you said anything about my offer, and then your friend just lost it,” he rolled his eyes.

The way Byungjoon talked about Jeongin irked him, if he had to be honest. Why did he have to sound so condescending? He was nice enough when he was around the horses, why can’t he just be nice to humans, too?

But then the annoyance evaporated into nothing because Felix remembered. The offer.

“That reminds me, have you made up your mind? Are you interested? You will be paid generously, I can promise you that. I'll take good care of you. What do you think?” Byungjoon paused, looking like he just remembered something. “Or have you made an arrangement with the Seoks?”

Eyes widening in alarm, Felix could feel his face heating up. “No! Hyung is my friend,” he spluttered, sounding more offended than he felt. “It was… I'm sorry, Your Highness. It was all a misunderstanding. I did not know what a flower boy is, I did not understand your… offer.” 

Byungjoon blinked slowly. “You did not know what a flower boy is?” he repeated. “What did you think I was offering you, then?”

Felix really wished he could disappear. 

Why did Hyunwoo’s birthday dinner have to be a banquet? Why did the Royals have to attend? Why did Hyunwoo have to leave, why did Byungjoon have to find him?  

“I thought you wanted me to work for you as… a gardener.” 

The silence that stretched between them felt longer than it actually was, but then Byungjoon threw his head back and laughed, startling the heck out of Felix. 

“Oh, Felix. You're a gem,” he said with a grin when he finished laughing at him to his heart’s content. “Why would I ask that of you? We have the best gardeners in our palace. Dare I say, even better than the ones in Silvercrest. You should see our gardens.”

In all honesty, Felix had tuned him out somewhere in the middle, and he was feeling genuinely offended by the dismissal of his plant skills. “I'm very good with plants,” he grumbled. 

Byungjoon laughed good-naturedly, but said nothing to that. “So. Now that you understand what I’m offering, are you interested?”

By fates. 

“No,” Felix said firmly, flushing. He hated that he was flushing. “Forgive me, Your Highness. I'm not interested in being that for… anyone.”

For a second, Felix half thought that he was going to be offended or something. 

It was fine, it was a price he was willing to pay as long as he managed to make it clear to Byungjoon that he wasn’t interested in the flower… business. 

“Fair,” Byungjoon responded. “That's a little unfortunate, though. To be honest, I've always gone for the girls. I’ve never been interested in the alternative but…” he trailed off, staring at Felix in a way that made his skin itch. “I suppose you're my type. It would've been fun,” he added lightly, sounding genuinely disappointed. 

Felix had no idea what to say to that.  

Was Byungjoon being serious? Everything he said sounded so ridiculous and wrong that he wanted to take it all as a joke, but then the way he said it was… not joke-like. It was different from the way Minhyuk talked, because his hyung was always very flirty, but Felix knew it was all a joke. The way Byungjoon said those things were different. 

“Brother,” Byungjoon said, pulling Felix out of his drifting thoughts. He belatedly realized that beside him was now, Byungho, and an overwhelming sense of relief filled him. 

“Felix,” Byungho greeted him with a smile before turning to his brother. “Mother’s looking for you, Joon.”

Byungjoon seemed a little disappointed at the prospect of leaving, but he nodded nevertheless. “I’ll see you around, Felix,” he said. “Don’t forget your promise.”

The younger prince turned and walked away without waiting for a response. Felix almost let out a literal breath of relief.

“Your Highness,” he turned his attention to the elder prince, a small but genuine smile blooming on his face. “It’s been a while.”

“Indeed,” Byungho agreed. “I hope my brother hasn't been giving you trouble?”

Felix wasn’t entirely sure if trouble was the right word to describe Byungjoon. 

The prince was not the greatest guy Felix had ever met, of course, and no matter how justified he felt about the incident with Jeongin, he was in the wrong because violence was never the answer. Felix would’ve preferred if he apologized to Jeongin, heck, he might’ve been satisfied if he showed remorse, but that didn’t happen. 

But then again, Felix also realized that he was a prince, and there was no way he could make him apologize to Jeongin, even if his friend was now known as Seungmin’s soulmate. 

He was pretty sure that meant little to nothing to Byungjoon, seeing the way he had talked to the others the first time Felix met him. 

Admittedly, Felix had been quite distracted when Byungjoon brought up his offer—irritation forgotten and replaced by embarrassment, so… so he didn’t really get to express his opinion about what had transpired between Jeongin and Byungjoon all that much.

His talk with Byungjoon had been troublesome. But at least he cleared it up with him, he was not interested in being a flower boy, and at least the prince was decent enough to accept his answer. 

“It was alright,” Felix simply said, because while Byungjoon was a prick at times, Byungho had been nothing but nice and he was Felix’s first book-lover friend.

Byungho shouldn’t be held responsible for Byungjoon’s actions. 

“That’s a relief,” Byungho said, before abruptly changing the topic. “So, I heard that you’re staying at Silvercrest?”

“Ah… Yes. My apologies, Your Highness, I couldn’t tell you. It was—“

“That’s okay,” Byungho quickly waved him off. “You don’t need to apologize. I understand. I came over because I’m glad to see you here, I enjoyed talking to you last time.” 

“I enjoyed talking to you too, Your Highness,” Felix said brightly. 

That was definitely the right thing to say, because Byungho entire face lit up, seemingly pleased. “As I recall, we were talking about our favorite books. I’ve told you mine but you didn’t get to tell me yours.”

That was all Felix needed to start a whole rant about his favorite books. 

Admittedly, he wanted to mention the book Jeongin gave him, the Warrior’s Treasure, because it was his favorite; but he thought that Byungho would think he was being ridiculous, because it was his favorite just because it was from Jeongin. 

He hadn’t even finished reading the first chapter because he wanted to savor it. The book was quite literally, his treasured possession. 

He ended up not mentioning it.

Time really flew when he was having fun, because it felt like he had just started talking to Byungho—he knew for a fact that it wasn’t true, because they’d finished discussing his favorite books and the Prince was now telling him about this book he was reading—when he spotted familiar faces.

His attention was fully on Byungho, but the moment he spotted Kyuseok and Seojun approaching, he was momentarily distracted. Perking up, he gave them a small but excited wave.

Slightly startled, Byungho turned to follow his line of sight. 

“Prince Byungho,” Kyuseok greeted him with a polite smile, “Lix.”

“Lord Kwon, Lord Ryu. You look good together,” Byungho said, returning the smile graciously. 

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Kyuseok beamed, beside him, Seojun smiled. 

Byungho nodded before he turned to Felix. “Felix, it’s been nice talking to you. I should probably look for my brother. I’ll see you around?”

“It’s been really fun, Your Highness. See you around.” 

Byungho gave him a smile before he excused himself.

Felix watched as he scanned the Hall before striding confidently in the general direction of Byungjoon’s location, probably. 

“So,” he heard Kyuseok, and then he felt his arm around his shoulder. “I heard that you’re quite familiar with the Royal family?”

It took Felix a few seconds to process the question, and then he was shrugging Kyuseok’s arm off. 

“I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me that Hyunwoo hyung was lying. I thought we were friends,” he said, tone accusatory as he folded his arms, leveling them both with a half-serious glare. 

“Don’t say that, we are!” Kyuseok insisted quickly. He eyed Felix warily, face colored with guilt. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. Hyunwoo is… he has his reasons.”

“It was his idea,” Seojun added helpfully. “You know how it is. His ideas are always stupid.”

Kyuseok elbowed him, “Stop it,” he reprimanded. “It’s his birthday.”

Seojun rolled his eyes so hard Felix was surprised his eyeballs didn’t get stuck behind. “So?”

“At least don’t call him stupid on his birthday,” Kyuseok said seriously before he turned his attention to Felix. “Please hear him out, Lixie. I’m sure he’ll explain everything.”

“For the record, I told him that it was a stupid idea.”

“Stop it, you’re not helping his case!” Kyuseok hushed his friend. He huffed in exasperation, and then he returned his attention back to Felix. “Where is he, anyway?” he asked, looking around like he expected to see Hyunwoo somewhere nearby.

He couldn’t spot him, so Kyuseok turned to Felix, staring at him with a questioning look. 

“Someone wanted to talk to him about something private, so they went away,” Felix explained. 

The two exchanged glances for a brief moment, “Who?”

“I think hyung called him Lord… Shin? Or something?” 

“Lord Shin…” Kyuseok muttered thoughtfully, seemingly in deep thought, but that wasn’t for long.

“Hyunwoo-yah!” 

Felix turned just in time to see Hyunwoo briskly walking towards them. “Hey,” he let out a small sigh as he came to a stop. “Sorry, Lix. That took longer than I thought.”

If he had come earlier, Felix might have complained about it. But Byungjoon was long gone and he got to talk with Byungho, which significantly helped with his mood, so he was fine. 

“Don’t worry about it, hyung.”

“Everything alright? You look… frazzled,” Seojun said, seemingly concerned; but then he looked like he just realized that he sounded concerned, which was out of character for him, so he quickly added. “Seriously, get a grip.”

Hyunwoo shot him a dirty glare. “Everything’s fine. I’ll tell you guys later. You guys as in Seokie and Lixie. I’m not telling you anything.” 

“Who said I wanted to know?” 

See, they were back at it again. Seriously, they were thick as thieves but they bicker like this all the time.

Hyunwoo turned to Felix just to widen his eyes, like he was trying to say, can you believe this guy? 

Felix simply snickered in response. 

If they weren’t at a literal banquet, they’d probably continue bickering, but they were. The two seemed to be in a silent agreement to cut it short. 

It was in times like this he was reminded that his friends were proper people from proper families. 

“Come on,” Hyunwoo said, offering his arm to Felix. “It’s almost time for the dance.”

Oh, great. The dance. The one thing Felix dreaded. 

He just learned how to dance a few hours ago and already, he had to dance in front of other people. 

It wasn’t as hard as he thought it’d be, honestly, it was rather simple, but since it was his first time of course he fumbled and stepped on Mr. Hong, the person Hyunwoo trusted to teach him how to dance, twice. 

Hyunwoo didn’t seem to believe it when he said that the man hated him, but Felix knew. He hoped the man was not around because if he managed to ruin the dance for Hyunwoo he had a feeling that Mr. Hong wouldn’t let him go home unscathed. 

Felix almost shivered at the thought. 

He let himself be led through the Grand Hall by Hyunwoo. All he could think of was Mr. Hong’s superb glare and permanent scowl. 

“It’ll be fine, Lix,” Hyunwoo assured kindly, like he sensed his distress. “You’ll be fine.”

“If I ruin this and end up embarrassing you, just remember that it’s not my fault.”

Hyunwoo chuckled. “You can never embarrass me. I’m proud to have you here tonight, and I’m proud to have you as a friend.”

His words sounded so genuine that Felix could almost forget that he had lied to him about the scale of his birthday. Nevertheless, he could feel warmth spreading all over him and his nervousness subsided just by a little, so he gave Hyunwoo a grateful smile. 

They reached the center of the Grand Hall, where the dance floor awaited. 

Soft music was playing, and somehow the atmosphere of the entire room shifted into something warmer. There were already couples swaying gracefully on the dance floor, their movements synchronized to the melody.

If Felix was less nervous, he’d find the time to look for his friends, he wondered if they were on the dance floor—but his hands were starting to feel clammy and the fact that Hyunwoo was holding one of them didn't help. If anything, that hand felt clammier than the other. 

As the current dance came to a close, Hyunwoo took Felix's hand, leading him onto the floor. 

The next dance began, and despite his initial apprehension, he found himself being guided through the steps by Hyunwoo's experienced hand.

They moved together in a graceful dance, twirling and swaying to the music. Felix's nervousness gradually transformed into something else, disappearing almost entirely as he lost himself in the rhythm. 

Hyunwoo's reassuring smile never wavered, and the other couples around them seemed to blur into the background as Felix focused on the steps, on the music. 

“I’m sorry,” Hyunwoo suddenly said, breaking the spell the music brought. “I’m really sorry. I hope… Are we still friends?”

Felix wanted to answer coyly, he wanted to tease him a little, but Hyunwoo had apologized multiple times now and he seemed genuinely distressed. “Of course we are, hyung,” he placated. “I’m just… I can’t understand why you made me believe I’m going to attend a dinner with your family while in reality, you were bringing me to a banquet attended by the Royals.” 

“I know,” Hyunwoo let out a small sigh. “That was… I was wrong. I just—I thought it’d be a good opportunity for you to meet the Royals and the Greater Noble Families,” he trailed off, looking like he was stopping himself from saying more. 

Felix could guess what he was going to say, though, because it turned out that he didn’t need to be introduced to the Royals, nor did he need the opportunity to meet them because he had plenty of those himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Hyunwoo repeated. “I was just—I was afraid I’d lose your friendship.”

Felix blinked. 

“It happened before,” Hyunwoo let out another sigh, distraught. “That’s got nothing to do with you, I know. It was unfair of me to assume that you’d be the same. Honestly, I wanted you to come to my birthday but I also didn’t want you to come. I mean, you’re my friend so it would be wonderful to have you, but if you came then you’d know who I—who my family is, and that’s terrifying.”

All of a sudden, Hyunwoo reminded him of Minhyuk. 

“Hyung…” Felix started slowly. “You know I don’t judge people based on their social status. I would have been your friend no matter who you are. Plus, I knew you’re a Noble.”

“You knew I was one, but you didn’t know what kind. I’m not... just any Noble,” Hyunwoo amended quietly, resignedly. “My family is one of the Greater Noble families. You know what that means, don’t you?”

Honestly, Felix did not. 

Maybe he should’ve asked to sit with Jeongin in his lessons. 

“Uh… no?”

That seemed to surprise Hyunwoo, but then his expression melted into a smile, a fond yet sad one. “It means that I’m part of the ruling class, Lixie,” he explained. “Major ruling class. If I came from a regular Noble family, it would probably be different, because then blaming me for bad things and decisions happening in the Kingdom would just be nonsensical, but my family is a Greater Noble family, and we oversee the Twelve. It’s hard not to see us as… a responsible party to whatever is happening to the general population.”

Hyunwoo’s whole rant was so unexpected that Felix almost faltered and stumbled in his steps. 

He wanted to reassure his friend, but he felt like he didn’t know enough to do that. He had little to no idea about how politics worked. 

“I know almost nothing about the Kingdom’s politics,” Felix said, voice quiet. He was suddenly reminded of those strangers they met in the city; he was reminded of Siwoo’s words, about the city guards. 

If Hyunwoo wanted to talk about responsible parties, his friends, Seungmin and everyone else, could be seen as one of the most responsible parties, because they were the literal princes, the heirs. 

But Felix never once blamed them. 

He never thought to blame them, because he knew that they would never support whatever the city guards were doing—if it turned out to be true. 

He knew them personally, and he knew that they’re good people with good hearts, just like how he knew that Hyunwoo was a good person with a good heart. 

Fates. Now that he was reminded of the city guards, he realized that he hadn’t managed to find anything just yet. He needed to investigate the truth to Siwoo’s statement. Maybe he could bring it up to Hyunwoo and the hyungs? Surely they’d help. 

Realizing that he had stayed quiet in his thoughts for too long, Felix shot Hyunwoo an apologetic smile, “But I know you, hyung. We’re friends, aren’t we? Well, I didn’t know that you’re a Noble but I’m sure you knew I’m nobody even from the very beginning. I’m a commoner, but you befriended me. You bugged me in the library, you introduced me to your other Noble friends, invited me to your houses, invited me to your birthday and introduced me to your family, who are all so kind and who didn’t make me feel like I’m less because I’m a commoner.”

“I don’t know anything about politics, but I know you, and that’s enough,” Felix said firmly. 

The look on Hyunwoo’s face was unreadable, but it was also priceless. Felix was going to say something but then he noticed the glint in his friend's eyes. 

He then realized that it wasn’t a glint at all, because his friend’s eyes were getting alarmingly watery by the second. 

It seemed like Hyunwoo realized the same thing, because he started furiously blinking his eyes. 

The music stopped, the dance ended, thank fates; because Felix doubted he’d be able to keep dancing now.

“Hyung,” Felix said, worried. Hyunwoo inhaled sharply before he slowly exhaled, closing his eyes to regain his composure. 

When he opened his eyes again, he was back to normal. 

“I wasn’t—“ he cleared his throat, seemingly embarrassed. “I’m good.”

Felix would’ve given him a hug or something, but they weren’t exactly alone and Hyunwoo looked like he was trying to telepathically convince him to forget whatever he saw, so he gave his hand a gentle squeeze, “You’re great, hyung. Come on, let’s get out of here and find Seokie and Junnie hyung. You promised we’ll spend the rest of the night with them, no more Noble talks.”

Hyunwoo looked both relieved and thankful that Felix chose to forget what just happened. 

They spent the next hour or so glued to the Seojun and Kyuseok. Felix thought that this was how Hyunwoo’s birthday was supposed to go, because now that the four of them were together, it was so easy to forget where they were. 

The three bickered as they always did, and Felix spent his time laughing at them because they were just ridiculous. 

Soon after, they went back to their respective tables. Hyunwoo led Felix to the head table.

He finally, finally spotted Jeongin and the others, coincidentally, they were looking in his direction when his eyes found them, so he sent them his best smile, hoping that they had been having a good time. 

Their response was, admittedly, lacking. 

At least Seungmin smiled back, but it wasn’t the kind of smile he’d seen when Felix came to his study to bug him, nor was it the kind of smile he’d seen when he asked Seungmin a million questions about a million different things because Seungmin reads everything; and sometimes Felix’s questions were probably dumb and silly that Seungmin would try—and fail—to suppress his smile.  

Seungmin smiled but it was dull, almost tired. 

Beside him, Felix could see that Chan was attempting to smile, but it looked like a grimace. 

Felix watched them warily, noticing the way Hyunjin’s face was stoic, posture stiff; the way Jisung and Jeongin were walking so close to each other their shoulders pressed together, he watched as Minho’s sharp eyes flickered around the room like he was trying to map out everyone and everything, he watched the way Changbin stood straight at the very back, looking regal and intimidating, like he was guarding them from the rest of the room. 

He felt dread swirling in his stomach. Did something happen?

Come to think of it, Byungjoon was around; did something happen with Byungjoon again? 

Fates. 

Felix didn’t really enjoy his company but maybe he should’ve kept him close, get him to start talking about horses or something, so that at least he wouldn’t be causing problems for them. 

He felt so selfish now. 

When Byungho came and saved him from Byungjoon, all he thought was just about how glad he was that he was gone. He didn’t think that the younger prince might go bug someone else, even worse if that someone was Jeongin and the others. 

He might not be skilled at decoding the Noble’s demeanors and expressions, but even then he could see that they haven’t had the greatest time. 

He should probably think of something, a way to cheer them up later. 

Yeah, he’ll do just that. 

They were all now seated in their designated seats, and the staff went around the room to serve them all drinks. 

“We’re having another toast, and then we’ll be practically done,” Hyunwoo whispered helpfully. 

A toast. Okay. Felix could do that. 

He was just starting to relax because he found the fact that the banquet was ending soon, very, very relieving; but then he saw it.

The thing was, Felix barely ever saw his uncle do magic, but he did see him once or twice. 

It was mostly during emergencies, like that one time a feral bear Felix had never seen around caught him off guard when he was watering his plants—he had never seen a feral… animal before, so he just stood there as it came charging, but it never reached him because his uncle was suddenly right there in front of him, and Felix saw magic swirling in the air, hitting the bear right on its face, knocking it back so strongly it flew across the clearing. 

His uncle’s magic was different, he knew that much. 

He knew because ever since he met Hayeon, he’d seen her weaving her magic almost every day. He knew because the moment he arrived in the capital, he could see traces of magic around the city, around the palace; Hayeon told him that they were mostly protective charms and other convenient charms. 

He knew because he had visited the Guild of Magic multiple times now, and he had seen magic swirling in the air. 

Magic was beautiful. It was colorful.

His uncle’s magic was not.

It was… different. Not as vibrant as the magic he’d seen outside. It was gray, and it was faint, almost like smoke.

Of course, Felix still had no idea what the colors meant—Hayeon’s magic was in different colors depending on what spell she was doing, so he guessed his uncle’s magic looked that way because of the spell he was performing, but still. 

Felix had never seen magic that looked like his uncle’s, at least, not yet; until now.

Because when the male staff member was standing in front of him, graciously placing his drink in front of him, he was still holding a few more glasses.

Because there was something like smoke—very faint smoke, swirling around one of the glasses. 

The thing was, magic was different from smoke. Smoke moves, it gets affected by the movement around it, by the air around it. If you try to blow it away, it will move. 

Magic won’t. 

It moved, sure, swirling in the air; but magic was moved by something else—an unseen force mages have, an unseen force their staff and runes and everything magic was imbued with. 

Felix watched as the smoke—as the magic swirled steadily around that one glass. 

He watched as the staff placed it right in front of Hyunwoo’s father. 

He watched as the man smiled, thanking the staff before taking the fancy glass and standing up. 

He felt everyone else standing up, and he mindlessly followed their lead, because his whole attention was somewhere else. 

He registered Lord Seok’s voice, he was saying something for the toast, lips pulled into a smile, glass in hand as he moved it occasionally, gesturing with his words, and somehow, Felix had a bad feeling. 

He didn’t realize that he was moving, not until he had his hand on Lord Seok’s arm—the one that was holding the glass—the man turning to him as his expression flickered so quickly, looking confused beyond anything. 

Someone was calling his name, he was pretty sure, but now that he was this close, he couldn’t take his eyes off Lord Seok’s glass. 

The smoke—the magic swirled dauntingly, and Felix just. 

Felix just realized that he had no idea how to ask, or how to explain this to anyone. He looked up at Lord Seok’s confused face, finally realizing that Hyunwoo had his hand on Felix’s own arm now, and it hit him. 

Fates. 

He might just be in trouble, and he had no idea what to do. 

Felix felt panic rising in his chest, because he really had no idea—

The Court Mage was suddenly there in front of him. 

Her eyes were wide with a sense of urgency, and Felix had a second to register the magic swirling around her—around the both of them, before he felt her hand gripping his shoulder. “They can’t hear us,” she said quickly. “You can see things, can’t you? What can you see?” she asked, tone urgent. 

So much had happened in a matter of seconds that Felix could only gape at her. 

“Felix,” her grip was tightening, he could feel that much. “I need you to tell me, what can you see?”

He could feel his mouth going dry; he could almost hear the blood rushing in his ears, his heartbeat picking up in fear. 

“Magic,” he breathed. “I can see magic.”

Notes:

Minkyung: (throws a tantrum)
Felix: Fair
Felix: I, too, would like to throw myself on the floor and scream

hi! it's been a while lol sorry the chapter took long, life's been a lot busier for me. thank you for the patience!

the next chapter will be... honestly, i'm not sure, i don't want to promise next week because idk if i can make it, but i'll try. i hope you liked the chapter!

retrospring | discord server | twitter

Chapter 31: The Eyes and The Heart

Felix missed Hayeon. 

He wished she was a little more magical, maybe then she could pop in whenever he was in big trouble, like now. 

So much for keeping his sight a secret. 

Maybe there was still hope, maybe the King wouldn’t gouge his eyes out—that was just a Hayeon thing, right? The Court Mage went around with her eyes intact, so Felix assumed, he hoped, that the King wasn’t interested in such a gory thing.

If the King was interested in that, though, there was going to be nothing he could do. At the very least, he hoped the King would have him killed before he decided to gouge his eyes out. Felix would rather be dead for the occasion. 

He was Seungmin's friend, and they had eaten dinner together, so he was hoping that he would be allowed that, at the very least. 

He could only hope. 

He was too busy panicking internally that he missed what happened afterwards, he did register being ushered back to his seat right after Momo, he did not know how, summoned a whole new glass that looked perfectly identical to the one Lord Seok was holding. She then swiftly switched the glasses before ushering Felix back to his seat, and then the Lord continued the toast or whatever despite the confusion in his eyes, which he skillfully hid. 

Felix did catch the King’s eyes for a second, though, and it was scarily pointed he almost instinctively took a step back. 

The confused but highly concerned looks Hyunwoo was throwing him certainly didn't help. 

Felix's whole mind was in overdrive, and by the time he followed the Royal Family—along with the Seoks—as they made their exit first, he was pretty sure he’d have yelped if anyone poked him. 

He was that jumpy.

He was so busy worrying and trying to wrap his head around what just happened that he missed the exchange between the King and his friends—he was there, but he wasn’t there there. He was pretty sure there had been an argument between them, which was concerning, but he did not have it in him to worry too much about his friends right now. 

Not when his secret was out in the open. Not when the King stared at him like that. 

Time passed in a blur, and now Felix was at Goldencrest, trying his best not to wither under the King’s piercing eyes. 

His friends were… somewhere in the palace. He wasn’t sure where, but he saw a man escorting them away right after they arrived at the palace.

“Mr. Lee,” the King began, expression unreadable. “Do you know what you just did tonight?” 

Funny. Felix had the same question. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he did. All he knew was that he saw magic around Lord Seok’s glass and his body moved before his mind did. 

Felix opened his mouth in an attempt to answer, but he didn’t know what to say and saying I don’t know seemed like a foolish thing to do, so he pressed his lips shut. 

“You can see magic,” the King stated when it was clear that Felix was not about to give him an answer. “And you’ve just saved Lord Seok’s life.”

Felix blinked.

“What?” he asked before he could stop himself. 

The Court Mage stepped forward—but only after she turned to the King and received his nod of approval. 

“We found poison in Lord Seok’s drink,” she explained straight to the point. “An essence of the Angel’s Orchid was mixed inside. The magic you saw was likely placed to mask its physical properties, because this plant—”

“Glows,” Felix finished, voice no more than a whisper. 

Momo paused, seemingly a little surprised. “Yes,” she breathed as she watched him calculatingly. “It glows.”

There was something at the back of Felix’s mind, something heavy and ominous, something that was trying to fight its way to the forefront of his thoughts. He had no idea what it was, but even the realization was enough to make him tense; to make his insides twist in anxiety and trepidation. 

In fear. 

“It’s a deadly plant,” Momo continued slowly. “Despite its beautiful exterior, every part of it contains poison, and it’s one of the most lethal plants that could be found in our lands.”

Felix knew that. 

He knew that, he remembered it like he just learned it yesterday. 

There was something about it that weighed heavily in his chest; it felt very familiar in the way that hurt, but he had no idea why.

“When extracted and mixed with other things, the glow remains. It produces a different kind of glow once mixed, but it still glows, making it easily distinguishable.”

Which meant that it would be hard to hurt anyone with it unless something was done to hide the glow. Something that magic he saw, evidently, did. 

“Oh,” a slightly strangled voice interrupted Felix’s spiraling thoughts. “Oh, fates.”

It was Lady Seok, Hyunwoo’s mother, who had now gone seriously pale. She was gripping the bottom of Lord Seok’s shirt, expression twisted in something akin to horror and desperation, eyes running all over him like she was trying to make sure that he was really here. 

Felix watched as Hyunwoo slowly turned to him, seemingly horrified. 

“You saved my father’s life,” he whispered, and Felix felt like puking; the room was spinning—or was it his head? Everything spun and he felt himself losing his balance—because someone was trying to kill his friend’s father, and he had somehow stopped it unknowingly. He felt Hyunwoo’s hand on his arm, steadying, grounding him. “Felix, you saved my father’s life.”

No, he wanted to say. I really didn’t. I didn’t even know what I was doing.

His throat felt dry, it felt like if he said something, it would come out as nothing but a croak, so he just stood there dumbly while his friend looked at him like he was the fates themselves.

“That—that shouldn’t be possible,” Lord Seok, who had seemingly broken out of a similar state of shock with that of his wife, finally spoke up. “I… We’ve always been thorough with everything, even more so when it comes to events. Every meal, every drink goes through our tasters and our mages. We…” he seemed to be at a loss for words. 

“That could mean that the drink was tampered with afterwards,” the King mused out loud. “Or there might be a traitor amongst your staff.”

The notion was evidently horrific to Lord Seok. “My King, surely not, I…” he started, only to leave his sentence unfinished.

And then, there was a knock on the door.

The King nodded, and Momo waved her staff, sending magic towards the door. Felix had half a second to stare at the swirl of magic blankly before the door burst open, revealing a man who strongly resembled—revealing Chan’s father behind it. 

The man walked briskly towards the King, and the door shut with a satisfying click behind him. There was another bout of magic sent towards the door—undoubtedly Momo’s doing, probably to seal it back or something. 

He quickly went for the King, whispering something to his ear, and Felix watched as the King’s face turned grim. 

“The man who served the drinks got away,” he announced to the rest of them. 

The temperature in the room seemed to drop in a split second. 

Out of reflex, Felix glanced at Hyunwoo, who was coincidentally glancing at him too. In silence, they exchanged increasingly distressed expressions. 

Movement pulled Felix’s attention back towards the King, and he watched as the King gave a nod to Chan’s father, like a permission. 

“We’ve rounded and questioned the staff working tonight,” Mr. Bang started. “But none of them was able to identify the man responsible for the drinks. They were all disagreeing on the most basic characteristics, like his hair color or his height,” he paused, looking thoughtful. “Something I’ve realized that I share.”

“He was a brunette,” Lord Seok said quickly, a little too hopeful.

Hyunwoo frowned as he turned to his father. “No, he wasn’t. His hair was jet black.”

Felix couldn’t really see Hyunwoo’s expression now because he was turned away from him, but he could clearly see Lord Seok’s dumbfounded one, and he was willing to bet that his friend probably had a very similar expression. 

He was quite distracted at the end of the banquet, but Felix was pretty sure that the male staff member had black hair. 

“Just like that,” Mr. Bang sighed as he shook his head slightly, seemingly distraught. “I, for one, remember him as a brunette.”

Well. Wasn’t that just great? 

How was that possible, though? Maybe there was magic that could help with that? 

Who was he kidding, of course there was magic that could help with that—heck, magic was definitely the only possible explanation because there was no way people were seeing different physiques of one person at the same time. 

Was there magic swirling around the man? Felix silently beat himself for being distracted. He had been worried about his friends, and when he spotted the magic around Lord Seok’s glass, he had been too laser-focused on that to look around for anything else. 

“Lord Seok, you might want to consider re-evaluating your staff members,” Mr. Bang suggested politely. 

Lord Seok nodded reluctantly, but said nothing in response. 

Felix never thought that he’d be where he was right now. He never imagined he’d ever get to venture outside the forest, much less to stay at the capital. He never thought he’d be friends with anyone, much less with Nobles and Royals. 

Titles meant nothing to him, but they meant something to the rest of the world. 

Apparently, titles and power meant that you would be targeted by other people. It meant that people would try to poison your father on your birthday. 

Anxiety stirred in his gut, and he almost felt like crying. 

Why did it feel like a lot of his friends were in danger? Hyunwoo’s family and this unknown traitor, the heirs and the potential rebellion. 

“This doesn't get out of this room,” the King said. “We’ll work with you to investigate who's behind this. It would be in our best interest to keep this quiet. Of course, we will also be helping you with security, I’ll lend some of my trusted guards. We’ll discuss more later.”

A heavy silence filled the room, and when Felix caught Hyunwoo’s eyes, his friend seemed like he was going to faint any second now.

Felix would really like to give him a hug or something, because his father almost died on his birthday and he had no idea how that would feel. 

Although, he did have an idea about how it felt like to have a dead father, and it was nothing pleasant. 

“Mr. Lee,” a voice startled him out of his mind. It was the King.  “Come take a walk with me.”

Walk with the King? 

Fates. 

Was this it? Was this where his eyes got their tragic end? 

Felix caught Momo’s eyes, silently begging, pleading for help, but it seemed like his message went over her head because she just nodded encouragingly. 

He did not need any encouragement. 

Helplessly, he looked around the room, wincing slightly when he saw how Chan's father was looking at him. 

Great. 

It definitely looked like Mr. Bang did not like him. Felix felt like he was failing a test he wasn't aware he was taking, and he was failing miserably. The man was practically squinting his eyes at him like he was some insect he wanted to squash.

Even more, the man looked intimidating, which really didn't help with his nerves. 

“Mr. Lee?”

It was then he realized that he had been silent for too long, that he hadn't responded to the King. 

“Yes!” Felix said quickly, groaning mentally at how nervous he sounded. “Sorry, yes,” he added, because of course he needed to sound stupider than he already was. 

Minhyuk would be so proud of how eloquent he was. 

For a moment, it looked like Mr. Bang was going to come along, but the King shook his head slightly, and the man stopped in his tracks, bowing his head in response. 

Felix caught Hyunwoo's eyes before they left the room. He hoped he sufficiently communicated the help me through the eye contact. 

Well, if he ended up losing his eyes or his life over this, at least he managed to save Lord Seok’s life while he was at it. That was worth it, right? 

The King was eerily silent as he led Felix through the palace. Felix was too nervous to take in his surroundings because he was mentally preparing himself for what was to come. 

It was fine. He was almost twenty-five anyway. Now or in two years weren't too different. 

Fates. 

It was fine, but he’d be lying if he said that he wasn't scared. This must be why the King didn't want Seungmin and the others to come. The sight would be too horrifying for them. 

Would Seungmin help Felix if he knew what was going to happen? 

They were friends, sure, but the King was his father. If his father wanted a pair of eyes that could see magic, he’d probably get a pair of eyes that could see magic. 

“Tell me, what do you want?” the King asked suddenly, and Felix belatedly realized that they had come to a stop; the King was now facing him, eyebrows raised in askance. 

What does he want? What did that even mean?

“You've saved a life today,” the King added. “It is only a given that you're properly rewarded.”

Felix blinked. 

The King waited, watching him expectantly. There was no bloodlust in his eyes, he didn't look like he wanted to gouge his eyes out anytime soon, thank fates.

“No!” Felix answered quickly. “I mean, that's really kind of you, Your Highness, but no. I don't… I didn't even know what I was doing, I was just…” he trailed off helplessly, unsure how to explain what he did because he hadn't fully processed what had happened anyway. 

“Regardless,” the King said before pausing for a moment.  “I’d have lost one of my trusted men if it wasn't for you.” 

One of his trusted men, who happened to be his friend’s father, so it wasn't as if he’d been like the heroes in those books, who saved strangers they didn't know. Heck, he didn't even know he was saving anyone. 

“That's okay, I'm—I’m glad that didn't happen.”

The King smiled at his response. Felix wished he’d smile like that more, he looked like he was less likely to do anything gory that way. “So am I, Mr. Lee.”

They were now in a small courtyard somewhere in the middle of the palace. Felix thought that he was rather safe from any eye gouging now, so he hoped that the King would point him to where the exit was or something because he did not pay attention to where they were going. 

“You have a very wonderful gift.”

Felix wished people would stop calling his sight a gift or a blessing, because it really didn't feel that way. But this was the King, so he wasn't going to disagree with him over something so insubstantial. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

The King regarded him carefully like he could somehow read his mind, but he continued, “The Fates have entrusted this Kingdom to my family for hundreds of years,” he said, looking older all of a sudden. “Perhaps we have stayed in the light for too long.”

What did that even mean? Why did it sound ominous?

“I’m afraid that I have failed greatly at my duty,” he said, and Felix held his breath. “There are things happening all over the Kingdom, things we've never faced before. It pains me that it's coming now as I am getting older.”

The perfectly composed demeanor of the King had faded into something less, something different. His expression was troubled. 

“My son… My sons are very capable, but I have a feeling that whatever is coming might be more than they can handle,” he sighed, catching Felix's eyes. “More than anyone can handle.”

“You came from Duskwood,” he said, tone lighter. Felix nodded in confirmation, wondering about the abrupt change in topic. “There's something happening all over the Kingdom, but it was first discovered in Duskwood. Park Hayeon, you might know her as the Sorcerer of Duskwood, first discovered it a few months ago,” he paused, seemingly waiting for Felix's reaction. 

Well. The cat’s out of the bag anyway. If the King was talking to him about this, chances were he probably shared Hayeon's sentiment, he probably wanted him to work with the mages or something. 

“...I know,” Felix admitted. 

There were a few beats of silence.

“You know?”

Nodding hesitantly, Felix explained, “I was with her when we first found it,” he said before quickly adding, “I worked as her assistant.” 

Felix watched as the King’s expression shifted, there was something he couldn't place in his eyes. “Of course… So Ms. Park knows about your gift?”

Something in his tone was blaming, which made Felix nervous. “Yes, I—I asked her not to tell anyone. She was the only one who knew. I’m sorry.” 

The King’s expression softened. “There's no need to apologize, Mr. Lee. I understand,” he said kindly. “But this makes it simpler, then. I have an offer for you. Mr. Lee, would you like to work for me?”

Felix froze. 

He knew it was coming, but he didn't think the King would word it that way. He thought the man would ask him to work with Momo, or with the Guild. But the King was asking Felix to work for him. 

“Whatever is going on in the forest needs to be stopped. Your gift would be an invaluable asset to have.”

Working for the King himself sounded like a huge responsibility he wasn’t ready to have, not that he didn’t want to help out. 

“I can’t use magic,” he admitted quietly. “And I don’t know all that much about magic itself… I just can see it.”

The King smiled. “And that would be enough. We’re facing something we haven’t faced before and we’re trying to find a solution. Having someone who can see the way this phenomenon reacts to the solutions we’re coming up with sounds like a step in the right way.”

“If that’s the case, then…,” straightening himself, Felix met the King’s eyes readily. “It would be my honor to help, Your Highness.”

“Perfect,” the old man said, satisfied. “You’ll work closely with Ms. Hirai and her team. Thank you, Mr. Lee, you will be properly rewarded. Now,” he paused, turning a lot more serious all of a sudden. “There’s something else. This is not something a lot of people know, but I trust you, Mr. Lee, I think you should know, because I’m going to need your help with this as well.”

The old man sighed, turning to look into the distance. 

“The poisoning attempt towards Lord Seok is not the first one we’ve encountered.”

Felix inhaled sharply, “ What?” 

“We’ve stopped multiple poisoning attempts in the last decade, mostly directed to me, on some occasions it was directed to my boys,” the King explained heavily. “I did not think that they’d target someone else.”

Someone else, as in, Lord Seok. 

Paling at the revelation, Felix was at a loss for words. 

Multiple poisoning attempts towards his friends? Who would do something like that? How was it even possible when the royals were heavily protected by the royal guards and staff? 

How was it possible when the cooks were so protective of their kitchens? At least in Silvercrest, he knew that was the case. 

Felix didn’t like what that implied. 

Whatever he was feeling must’ve shown in his expression, because the King shot him an empathetic look.

“This kind of thing happens, Mr. Lee. Not often, but it is in the records, it has happened to my ancestors. It didn’t happen during my grandparents’ time, nor did it happen in my parents’ time,” he sighed. “But it is happening now.”

“That’s… that's horrible.”

The King nodded in agreement. “It is. If you're willing to lend a hand, it would help us greatly. We’re quite sure whoever is doing this has a mage on their side. Your eyesight could help reveal if there is anything that has been placed in our homes by someone other than our mages.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” Felix agreed quickly. “I’d do anything for… I’d do anything to help,” he corrected himself, feeling his face flush a little. 

Eyes crinkling in amusement, the King smiled at him, “That is much appreciated, Mr. Lee. Ms. Hirai and her team will explain everything to you later. Now,” he paused. “My boys haven't been informed about this, about what's happening in the forest and more importantly… about the multiple poisoning attempts aimed towards us. I would appreciate it if you could keep it that way.”

Now that was something he did not see coming. Not really.

“They already know some things I’d rather they don’t,” the old man admitted warily. Felix wondered what he was referring to. Was it about the walls? Was it about the gatherings? 

He didn’t know, and the King didn’t elaborate. 

Still, he couldn't stop himself from wondering why. 

He could understand keeping quiet about the poisoning attempts, he guessed. His friends were stressing enough about the potential rebellion—was it right to call it a potential rebellion when there were literal poisoning and murder attempts aimed at them?—if they knew about this, they'd be beside themselves with worry. 

They'd be even more stressed out, and Felix didn't want that. 

But was it safe for them to sit in their ignorance? He wasn't sure about the answer to that. 

He could understand keeping the murder attempts from them, but the forest problems? Surely, there was no harm in telling them? Sure, it might stress them out as well, but Felix thought that it wouldn't be anywhere as bad as the murder attempts. Plus, they were the successors of the throne, surely they needed to know when something this big was happening?

“The less they know, the safer it'd be for them,” the King offered quietly, like he was able to hear the questions in his mind. “In case… In case everything falls apart, the less they know, the better. Maybe they’d be spared.”

In case everything falls apart. 

The words left him feeling heavy, it left him feeling like he was slowly being suffocated. 

“That won't—we won't let that happen,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. 

He felt stupid right after. He talked big for someone who wasn’t even sure what he could do to help. 

Seemingly surprised, the King started chuckling. “No, not if we can help it.”

Felix let out a breath of relief. 

Before today, he wasn't entirely sure what he thought about the King. 

He thought the way he kept things from Seungmin and the others was weird, and he couldn't understand why he did that. They had to hear about the forest—at least, about the walls, the things the public knew—from Jeongin and him, and Seungmin was very upset about it. 

Now it felt like he could understand the King a little better. 

It wasn't that he didn't trust his sons, he was trying to keep them safe, to protect them. 

Whether it was the right thing to do, whether it was the right decision, Felix didn't know, but he could now understand the reasoning behind the King’s behavior. 

It wasn't really his place to judge anyway, not when he was doing something similar. 

As long as the King’s trying to keep his friends safe, Felix would have nothing to say against him. 

 

---

 

Seungmin was sure he hadn't had such a bad day in forever. 

Sure, he didn't necessarily think that it was going to be a good day, social events drain him quickly nowadays because of how much stress he was under, but he didn't think it was going to be this bad. 

The fact that his mates were feeling miserable certainly didn't help. 

Well, more miserable than usual, because none of them really liked this kind of social event—except maybe Chan. Seungmin knew that he secretly liked it, even though he always pretended to be neutral about it. Changbin loved socializing but not with the upper class, not really. 

The point was, Seungmin thought that the day was going to be mildly okay at best, and he was wrong. 

The day was horrible. 

It wasn't enough that Jisung’s mother managed to corner them for small talk, but with her it was never only small talk. She always found a way to talk down to her son, to be passive-aggressive and to make Jisung feel shit about himself. 

If Chan didn't find a way for them to get out of there that fast, Seungmin was sure either Changbin or Minho would've said something they would regret. 

Well, maybe not regret. But it would probably get them into trouble. 

On top of that, half of them were already feeling miserable because Felix was there as Seok Hyunwoo’s date. It got even worse when Byungjoon somehow managed to corner him when Seok Hyunwoo was gone. 

Seungmin half-thought that Chan would march there before he realized what he was doing. 

Fortunately, he managed to stop him just in time, so that was one less thing to worry about. 

One less thing for the public to whisper about. 

Chan was one of the most patient among them when it came to dealing with other people, Byungjoon in particular. However, the guy had been pushing it recently. Seungmin was sure that his hyung didn't have any patience left in him tonight. 

Truthfully, he wasn’t sure he had any patience left in him tonight. He was sick and tired of being treated like this. It was taking his everything not to snap. 

“Father,” Jisung started. His father was the one who escorted them to this room immediately after they arrived at Goldencrest, because they were clearly not welcome to participate in whatever was happening in the other room.  “We’re—“

“The King will see you right after,” Mr. Han’s voice was tense and monotonous as he spoke. “Please make yourselves comfortable.”

Seungmin could see frustration clearly on Jisung’s face, mirroring exactly how he was feeling as he opened his mouth to protest. “Why can’t we—“

“Han Jisung,” Mr. Han warned, and at that moment he wasn’t Jisung’s father, he was the Seneschal of the King. “The King will see you right after,” he repeated to the room before he bowed politely and left. 

The silence that followed after was so loud that Seungmin would’ve bolted away from the room if he could. But he couldn’t, because he was sure the Royal guards stationed right outside had been clearly instructed not to let them leave unless they were going home.  

Seungmin couldn't believe this was happening. 

He couldn't believe his father would openly exclude him like this. He couldn't believe he’d openly exclude them all like this. 

Actually, never mind. He could believe his father would do that. He just couldn't believe that he was taking it. 

“What's going on?” Jeongin asked, shifting anxiously as his eyes darted around the room, desperate for answers. “Why can't we join them?” 

Clearly, no one wanted to be the one explaining it to him. Seungmin suspected that while Jeongin wasn’t aware of the full picture, he could probably guess. After all, he was there when they first heard about the wall project, since they heard it from him. 

They definitely looked stupid then. Like they were some ignorant monarch who had no idea what was going on in their own Kingdom. 

“It's my father,” Seungmin answered when the silence stretched for too long. “He's always been like this.” 

Jeongin looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. 

“He doesn’t want to involve us in Kingdom-related matters,” he added bluntly. “At least, the important ones.”

It was the truth, and pretty much everyone but Jeongin was aware of it, but Seungmin could feel something unpleasant surging in his gut. Something that felt like a mixture of frustration, embarrassment, and anger. 

He was so tired of this. 

“I’m surprised he let us tag along at all,” Minho said lightly, but there was something sharp in his demeanor.  

Yeah, Seungmin was surprised, as well. 

They were still kept out of whatever meeting the others were having—the meeting Felix was sitting in—but at least his father had let them come along to Goldencrest. That wasn’t much at all, that wasn’t enough, but it was something, because his father never relented. 

Not when it came to this. 

Heck, they had to push to be allowed to come. 

“There are a few things I need to discuss with the Seoks,” his father said calmly and placatingly when Seungmin asked what was going on. “You boys look tired. You did well tonight, please be sure to have plenty of rest.”

Seungmin did not know a lot of things, but he knew a dismissal when he saw one. 

“But he’s coming?” Seungmin asked sharply, because clearly Felix was coming with them, judging from the way the Court Mage was pressed close to his side, which seemed unlikely to change.

Not anytime soon. 

Felix himself looked like he was rather distracted, like he wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on around him, but he pulled himself out of the trance he was in at Seungmin’s question as if he realized that Seungmin was referring to him. 

The King’s smile faded just the slightest bit. 

If he wasn’t his own father, whom he had known his whole life, he might’ve missed it. “I have a few things to discuss with Mr. Lee, as well,” he said, but the way he said them felt like he was silently warning Seungmin not to ask more questions. 

Seungmin hated it. 

He hated how he was so used to it, hated how he always accepted it even though he wanted to argue. 

“I’m coming,” Seungmin declared. Even before his father said anything, he knew he was going to say no, to find a way to dismiss him like he always did, so he continued, “He’s my…”

Seungmin paused. 

His eyes darted to Felix in reflex, who was now watching him warily, eyes bouncing back and forth between him and his father. 

He’s my friend, that was what Seungmin was going to say. 

He paused because he realized how stupid he’d sound. He’s my friend? Yeah, that was going to be such a compelling argument, such a strong argument. 

But it was the only argument he had when it came to Felix.

“He’s my friend,” Seungmin said anyway, hating the way it sounded, even though it was the truth. Felix was Seungmin’s friend, he didn’t have any stronger claims than that. 

Seungmin hated how that was all he was—how that was all they were, friends. 

Shit. 

He really didn’t have the time for any kind of realization right now. 

He forcefully swallowed whatever he was feeling down his throat; the panic, the dread. 

Later, he told himself. 

He’d deal with it later. 

“We’re coming,” someone said from beside him, and it took Seungmin a second to realize that it was Minho. 

It wasn’t often that the others would interfere when Seungmin was having this kind of moment with his father. The fact that he was the King, and that Seungmin had a rather complicated relationship with him usually meant that they wouldn't get involved unless he asked them to. 

They also tend to avoid arguing with the King as a general rule. 

Seungmin, however, found himself feeling relieved at Minho’s interference. 

He held his breath as his father’s calculating eyes scrutinized Minho before it was back on him. For a moment, Seungmin thought he was going to, again, dismiss them, but the King sighed quietly. 

“Come. Let’s not waste more time.”

Seungmin almost flinched, because he couldn’t remember the last time his father sounded that cold. 

He didn’t know what he did wrong, he didn’t know where it all went wrong. 

His father’s behavior towards him was getting too much for him to handle. The frustrations he held back had piled up so high that he was pretty sure he didn’t have any room for more.  

It was driving him crazy. His father had been driving him crazy for a while now. 

Seungmin couldn’t understand why he was acting like this. 

He used to be different. He used to watch Seungmin proudly as he told him about the things he learned with the tutors. He used to sit him on his lap and tell him about the qualities of a good king. 

His father used to be proud of him. 

Now it felt like he was embarrassed of him, it felt like he didn’t trust him enough to let him handle things. 

Seungmin worked hard, but sometimes he felt like he was working hard for nothing, because his father was never going to let him do anything. Anything significant. 

Anything he was supposed to be doing. 

“What happened back there?” Changbin asked, turning to Seungmin. It brought Seungmin out of his spiraling thoughts. 

“I don’t know,” Seungmin said—he tried to sound normal, but he sounded bitter anyway. He was tired of not knowing. He shared the carriage to Goldencrest with Chan, Jeongin, and Hyunjin; Jeongin had asked the same question immediately after they were seated in their carriage. Despite his growing frustration, Seungmin repeated what he told them. “I thought Lord Seok was just… pausing, searching for words. By the time I realized he had been silent for too long, Seok Hyunwoo was already there. I think he was trying to tug Felix back to his seat, but he wasn’t budging.”

What was Felix doing behind Lord Seok? When did he even get there? 

What happened next happened too fast for Seungmin to understand. The Court Mage was suddenly there, and Seungmin couldn't really hear anything from where he was standing. 

He remembered seeing the mage wave her staff or something, but he wasn't entirely sure what it did. 

All he knew was she somehow managed to pull Felix away from Lord Seok and back to his seat, and then Lord Seok continued with the toast like nothing happened. 

And then suddenly, his father had something to discuss with the Seoks and Felix, and he was being dismissed. 

His father excluded him and his mates, and they were literally his successors. 

The King excluded them while the Seoks were in there, he excluded and dismissed them in front of the Seoks. 

Something big probably happened, it happened right under his nose and Seungmin missed it. 

Something that involved even Felix. 

“He’s not gonna tell us anything, is he,” Hyunjin asked the room warily. 

Well that was a rhetorical question if Seungmin ever saw one. They all knew his father would tell them nothing. 

“No,” Seungmin said. 

Everyone turned to him, and it was probably because he spat the word. 

“I’ve had enough. This can’t go on,” he continued, and then without waiting for anyone’s reply, he went for the door, ignoring the calls for his name from Chan and Changbin.

Only to almost stumble into the Seoks and Chan’s father. 

“Your Highness,” Mr. Bang sounded surprised to see him, but he quickly regained his composure. “The King will see you soon, please make yourselves comfortable,” he added, eyes darting behind Seungmin to see everyone else behind him. 

Seungmin didn’t exactly have anything planned, but he was planning not to take this kind of shit anymore, so he was going to say something like, no, I want to see him now in a very demanding, fuck you kind of way. 

But the Seoks were here, and as much as he was frustrated with his father, he understood enough that such things were better kept private. 

Plus, he noticed the absence of a certain someone. 

“Where’s Felix?” he asked instead, eyeing Seok Hyunwoo who was holding his little sister, who was fast asleep. 

“His Highness has something to discuss with Mr. Lee,” Mr. Bang answered, which did not answer anything at all. “It shouldn’t take too long.”

If Seungmin heard anyone say that one more time he was going to throw a tantrum or something. He didn’t care that he was an adult or a prince, he was going to explode like a toddler. 

“Where are they?” Seungmin pressed, brow furrowed. 

“They went for a walk,” was Mr. Bang’s vague response, and then before Seungmin was able to interrogate him further, he firmly excused himself under the guise of escorting the Seoks outside. 

Mr. Bang left, followed by the Seoks who were silent throughout their entire exchange. 

Whatever happened earlier, whatever they discussed must’ve been nothing good, because the Seoks’ faces looked rather pale. 

As they leave, Seungmin turned the other way, determined to go through the palace to find his father. To demand answers.

Only, he didn’t get far. 

“Your Highnesses,” Mr. Oh, one of his father’s Royal guards who was stationed right in front of the door along with their Royal guards quickly placed himself in Seungmin’s way to stop him from venturing further. “The King has requested that you remain here,” he added. 

Seungmin was ready to pounce, he really was. 

But Mr. Oh looked like he did not want to be there, he looked like he did not want to do what he was doing, but he was doing it anyway because it was his job, and because he was instructed to. 

Seungmin was mad, but he wasn’t mad at Mr. Oh. He was mad at his father. 

At the very least, he had enough common sense in him not to lash out at other people, especially people who were just doing their jobs. 

A quick glance behind revealed Chan, Minho, and Jeongin, who were standing right behind him. 

Chan looked like he was battling himself, because it was clear that his father would want him to stay; Mr. Bang wouldn’t be too pleased if he heard that they refused to listen. 

Minho and Jeongin, on the other hand, looked very much unbothered. 

They looked like they were ready to push back, to argue. 

Behind them were Jisung and Hyunjin, who looked anxious more than anything. 

And at the very back was Changbin. 

Hands crossed, he was staring right at Seungmin, eyebrows slightly raised. 

To Seungmin, it looked like Changbin was leaving the choice in his hands. 

I’ll follow your lead, Seungmin could almost hear his voice. 

“Okay,” Seungmin said, surprising even himself at how calm he sounded. “Thank you, we’ll wait.” 

He didn’t miss Jeongin’s totally betrayed expression, nor did he miss Minho’s glare, but as he made his way back in he could hear them following behind. 

He also didn’t miss the way Mr. Oh deflated like he was way beyond relieved. 

The next few minutes were filled with a tense silence. 

Seungmin knew that both Jeongin and Minho had things to say, but he was grateful they were holding themselves back. Seungmin really meant it, he’d really stop taking this treatment from his father, he was putting a stop to it all. 

They just had to wait for him to come. Preferably with Felix in tow. And then, Seungmin would make them talk, he wasn’t going to be kept in the dark. 

Not anymore. 

Seungmin sat down. He tried to relax, but he knew he was as stiff as a pole. He couldn’t stop thinking of what to say and how to say it, because he had been his father’s son his whole life, and this was the first time he had made up his mind to firmly stand against him.

To question his decisions. To demand his rights. Because he had the right to know, and he was tired of sitting around like an idiot who didn’t know anything for no apparent reason. 

If his father thought that he wasn’t fit to rule, then he should just say it. 

It wasn’t like he fought for it, the throne had been his right from the moment he was born. It wasn’t as if he was desperate for it; if his father had found someone who was better suited for the throne, then Seungmin would gladly give it up. 

Whatever it was, he was ready to face it. He would force it out of his father, he would not sit in the dark.

This stops tonight. 

“Do you think Lix hyung’s in trouble?” Jeongin asked, anxiously biting his lip. 

“Of course not,” Jisung frowned. “Why would he be in trouble? He’s not in trouble, right, hyung?”

Jisung had turned to Minho for reassurance. 

Usually, that would have been the right choice. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case today, because Minho himself was evidently worried. 

Jisung’s face fell the moment he realized it. 

“He’s fine,” Changbin chimed in reassuringly. Seungmin had no idea how he could sound so sure, but he did. “Even if he’s in trouble, he’ll be fine. Mr. Kim looks a little intimidating, but we all know how kind he is. He’s fine.”

His father had always been a kind, gentle father, but Seungmin knew better than anyone else about how strict he could be, how firm he could be. 

For whatever reason, Felix had disrupted tonight’s banquet—or well, not the banquet, just the last toast, and while that wasn’t okay, while Seungmin understood how that could land him in trouble, it would not generally have landed him in trouble with his father.

His father, the King himself. 

His father had a dozen staff who were more suited to reprimand someone who didn't know better. Seungmin was sure that what Felix did, didn’t warrant a personal scolding from the King himself, so there was something weird about all this. 

Seungmin sighed. Whatever it was, he’d get to the bottom of it. He wasn’t going anywhere before he did. 

It didn’t take that long, for the doors to swing open, for his father and Felix to appear in the doorway. 

It didn’t take that long, or maybe, Seungmin had been too deep inside his head to really perceive how long it had been, but it didn’t matter. 

What mattered was that they were finally here. 

"Boys," his father greeted them with a nod. "It's been a long day, and it's getting late. We should all get some rest. It's a little too late to make the journey back home, so why don't you stay the night?"

To any other people, it definitely sounded like his father just wanted to make sure that they were all taken care of, but Seungmin knew that if he demanded it, they could go home just fine because the mages could arrange for them to teleport back with no problem; so there was no doubt that his father was just saying this to distract them from the matter at hand. 

To Seungmin's absolute relief, no one replied to his father, which was nothing short of a miracle because on any other day, Chan would definitely do it because his father had taught him to respect Seungmin's father in any circumstance. 

If Chan didn't do it, Changbin would, because he absolutely idolized Seungmin's father for supporting his mother. 

"Father," Seungmin began, relieved that his voice sounded as steady as he hoped. "What happened?"

His father didn't even take a second to think, he just immediately smiled that smile of his he always wore whenever he was being the King and not his father and said, "Nothing happened, son. I just had a few things to discuss with Felix here, the Seoks spoke highly of him."

Felix was watching his father warily, but when he finally realized that Seungmin was staring at him, he started nodding vigorously.

"It is certainly wonderful that he is good friends with Hyunwoo. I have told you before that he's a good man, and that you'd be good friends if you gave him a chance, and you never believed me," his father went on, glancing at Felix as he smiled at the memory. "Maybe Felix could convince you. The Seoks are a good company to have on your side."

Seungmin did not need his father to remind him of the people he had always wanted Seungmin to get to know better; he had always made that clear, growing up. 

The Seoks had always been in his father's good books, why, Seungmin didn't know—they were nice, yes, but everyone else was, too. 

Honestly, his father never really discouraged him from befriending anyone, although he had expressed the ones he favored before, Seok Hyunwoo being one of them. 

"No," Seungmin said, surprising even himself. "Something happened tonight."

He could feel everyone's eyes on him, he could feel his mates’ eyes on him; concerned and worried, but he stared at his father's eyes, unwavering. 

"Something happened tonight and we're not leaving until you tell us what it is," Seungmin went on. It was so easy to speak now that he had started—almost too easy. "I'm tired of sitting of not knowing anything. I'm—I have the right to know. This is the Kingdom I'll lead one day in the future. You can make me sit in all the lessons in the world, and I will never learn to lead, because you never let me."

The easy-going smile his father had on finally vanished. 

There was something in his expression, something Seungmin was afraid to think of, so he forced himself not to think about it; he forced himself to keep talking. 

"How am I going to learn if not by doing? I could read all the books in the library and memorize them, and I'd still be nothing because I have never done anything. You never let me do anything," he gritted his teeth, aware that the frustrations he had so desperately tried to hold back were leaking wildly, helplessly. "I'm supposed to lead this kingdom one day, and I have no idea how to do that because even though I don't know anything, I know that the people don't trust me. And they don't trust me because I haven't given them anything—I haven't shown them anything that could show them that I'm trustworthy. Something that could show them that I'm fit to rule.”

“The throne is my birthright, but I have done nothing substantial for the people of the Kingdom. To them, I'm just the person who happened to be born into the Royal family, and they're right. That's all I am, and that's all I'll continue to be unless this stops." 

"I don't want to continue sitting in my ignorance while you work yourself to the bone, Father," Seungmin muttered, feeling tired all of a sudden. "Something happened tonight. I don't know what it is, but I want to help. We want to help."

For a few seconds, no one said anything. 

Not even his father, which was worrying because Seungmin had never seen his father speechless before, but he seemed speechless from where he was standing. 

For a moment, Seungmin's heart soared. For a moment, he thought it'd work. 

But then his father blinked, and the steely look he always had in his eyes whenever Seungmin asked about his mother returned, and he knew that it didn't work. 

"Nothing happened tonight," his father repeated calmly. "I'm truly sorry if I made you feel that way, son," he apologized, voice quiet. "You will be a great king, and the people will come to trust you. I have never doubted that for a second. Let's discuss this further in the morning, now, you should all get some rest and—"

Seungmin really didn't know what else to say, what else should he do to get his father to trust him, but something in him snapped. 

"I'm not a child!" he argued. 

He yelled, really. He didn't think he ever raised his voice like that, he had never done that in his life, not to his parents, but he couldn't care. 

Not really. Or maybe, not now.

Because now, he was just angry. He was angry and really, really frustrated.

Seungmin’s father had always been a good king, but that wasn’t all. He had also been a good father. That was why Seungmin was so mad, it was because he knew his father was not unreasonable, and that really fucked with his mind because that meant he had a reason—a good reason not to trust him. 

That really got him in the worst way possible, because it played with his greatest worries and insecurities.

Seungmin felt a sense of satisfaction in his chest when he took in his father’s expression, seemingly surprised by his outburst. But then he remembered that despite all that he had said, his father was still trying to keep him in the dark, and he was once again consumed by his frustrations.

“Felix would tell me,” Seungmin added confidently, but the moment his eyes landed on Felix, he faltered, because his friend was avoiding his eyes. 

It was almost as if he agreed with his father. 

Felix, who rallied the staff into stating why they thought Seungmin would be a great king in the future. Felix, who wrote down all their words in small pieces of paper and put them into a jar; who came into Seungmin’s office looking a little shy but determined, who read them for him. 

Felix, who wrote down why he himself thought Seungmin would be a great King and read it rather passionately despite the way his ears were turning red.

Felix who always came into his study to check up on him, who beamed when he remembered something interesting he had read that day, who liked to ask Seungmin about the things he saw Seungmin read, who listened to him as he explained an obscenely wide range of topics—from taxes to the economic development of the kingdom in the last decade to the historical background of cool architectural buildings in the Outlands.

Felix who always listened to him with a little bit of awe in his eyes, who looked at Seungmin like he was someone amazing and not a loser prince who was a prince only in title. 

“You’re so cool, Seungmin-ah,” he’d say, and maybe Seungmin would forget about his father and the nobles and the Kingdom for a little while. 

Maybe he’d feel better about himself for a minute or two or for the rest of the hour because while he knew he’d done nothing to receive that sentiment, he knew Felix genuinely thought he was, somehow, cool.

Seungmin had known that his father did not trust him for a long time now, but Felix was a different case. 

Seungmin always thought that if there was anyone who believed in him, it was Felix. He was stupidly bad at lying after all, and Seungmin could tell that his words were always genuine. 

Maybe that was why he was so hurt by it—by the way Felix was taking his father’s side.

Swallowing the hurt down his throat before it could explode into something, Seungmin stepped forward. He couldn’t believe that Felix, of all people, would take his father’s side on this. “You would, right?”

Felix's silence was answer enough. 

His eyes were darting around the room, like they were too scared to meet Seungmin’s. 

He was fidgeting now, and the look on his face was somehow familiar—it was the look Felix wore when he was freaking out. 

“Am I that unreliable?” Seungmin asked, unable to hide the hurt in his voice. It seeped into every vowel, into the very breath he was taking. “Why do you find it so hard to trust me?”

“That's not—” Felix started, seemingly conflicted. “That's not it, Seungmin-ah.”

Seungmin's expression twisted painfully, betrayal and hurt mixed together it was hard to tell where one started and ended. “I thought you—If it's so hard to trust me, then why did you bother—“

“Kim Seungmin,” his father’s voice cut through the tense air, tone warning.

Seungmin was hurt, but maybe he should thank his father for speaking up, because it reminded him of who he was really mad at. It wasn’t Felix, it was his father.

Seungmin’s snapped his head towards his father, and for a moment, he almost faltered. 

But then it all came back to him, the anger, the disappointment, the frustration. 

“No,” Seungmin bristled. “I’ve had enough, Father.”

Everyone could almost hear the pin drop. 

“I’m not a child,” he spat. “You can’t keep me in the dark. I need to know, I need to be involved with… with whatever is going on because—because one day you won’t be here and I will never learn if you don’t let me.”

He was repeating his words, he knew that, but maybe that was alright. Maybe that was all he could do right now, so he’d do it. 

He’d repeat them over and over again. He’d repeat them until his father relents, until he sees. 

“Something is going on. Something is wrong. I don’t know what it is, but something’s wrong. And I think it’s been that way… for a while now,” Seungmin said quietly, because it was true. 

For a while now, he had a feeling that the Kingdom was far from okay. 

He knew it was almost baseless, he did not know anything that would indicate so, but he just had this feeling deep in his gut. Now that he thought of it, it was probably why he was always so anxious and worried about his title, about whether or not he deserved it, whether or not he was up for it; because he subconsciously knew that something was wrong. 

He had been feeling this way for years, and he had always ignored it. He thought it was just his anxiety getting the better of him, that ominous voice at the back of his mind. 

But this year had been different. 

With the cult—the gatherings and the potential rebellion, the forest and the walls, it was so clear that something was wrong. 

“Please let us help, Father,” Seungmin said, pleading. “We want to help. We’ve always wanted to help.”

“We have been preparing for this our whole life, Sir,” an unexpected voice joined in, and Seungmin turned just in time to see Chan stepping forward so that he was now standing beside him. There was a hint of wariness in his voice, but he stood straight as he met the King’s gaze head-on. “Please let us help.”

“We can do it,” Changbin’s firm voice joined them. “Give us a chance to prove it to you.”

“I’m not a child,” Seungmin repeated, softer this time. “You can rely on me, Father. Please rely on me. On us.”

“Please, Sir,” Seungmin heard Jisung from behind him, sounding nervous. “We won’t disappoint you.”

Hyunjin and Minho remained silent, but Seungmin didn’t need them to say anything to know that they were with him on this. He couldn’t see their faces, but he could almost imagine them. 

He waited, then. 

Eyes on his father, Seungmin watched as the King came to a decision. 

His expression was twisting with an unnamed expression, and his eyes were unreadable, but his voice was steady when he spoke. “Come,” his father finally said. “Let‘s discuss this in my study.” 

---

Felix thought the world was stupid. 

He went out today to go to his friend’s birthday dinner. He ended up in a banquet, where there was a murder attempt on his friend’s father, which he somehow stopped, and by the end of the night he had been recruited by the King to work for him. 

Sincerely and respectfully, what the hell. 

That wasn’t even all. 

They made him stay as the King explained the matter of the forest to his friends—about the rotting and the magic—, all while smoothly lying about what transpired that night. 

“Mr. Lee was alarmed when he saw magic in Lord Seok’s drink,” the King explained calmly. “He was concerned because it was the only one with it. Lord Seok had been feeling unwell the past few days, so his drink was mixed with a specialized potion that was helping him. One of the ingredients was a herb that was imbued with magic.”

Felix just stood there stiffly, nodding here and there as he tried his best not to avoid everyone’s eyes. 

Damn it all. He hated how lying made him feel. 

“Of course, Ms. Hirai immediately informed me of Mr. Lee’s gift of sight. I asked him to come because I wanted to ask him to work with the mages to solve whatever is going on in the forest.”  

When the others turned to him, he gave them a smile he wished wasn’t awkward but it probably was because he was kinda close to a nervous breakdown. 

“You can see magic?” 

Jeongin was the one asking, and Felix couldn’t help but notice a hint of something in his voice, something that sounded like disappointment or betrayal. 

Felix swallowed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he apologized quickly. “I didn’t tell anyone, I… I didn’t know that magic—I didn’t know that people don’t see magic. I thought everyone could see it. At least, I thought that’s the case before I met Hayeon noona.”

He never even mentioned it to his uncle because he thought he could see it too. 

Well, that, and Felix could remember going practically mute the first year he stayed with his uncle. 

What happened to his mom hurt so much that Felix could remember the way the world felt like it was fading, the way nothing seemed to matter, nothing felt real. The way he felt lost, like he was floating in the river and there was nothing he could do. 

Those days were filled with his uncle’s chatter. 

Despite Felix’s silence, the man would still talk to him. He’d say good morning at the beginning of the day, he’d talk about the plants as they ate their meals, he’d tell him about the book he just finished the other day. 

Felix would simply eat and stare at his uncle blankly. 

The first time he saw magic was during those days, so Felix wondered in silence. 

After seeing that smoke-like thing swirling in the air the very few times his uncle was muttering an incantation or waving his staff though, he realized that it was magic, and thought that it was probably just the way magic looked. 

It had never crossed his mind, that magic wasn’t supposed to be visible. That it wasn’t generally visible. 

That and his uncle’s reluctance to perform magic in front of him was probably why he never brought it up to him. 

They stayed at Goldencrest that night. 

Everyone seemed pretty much on edge after the conversation. They were definitely concerned about the forest, he knew it. They had been concerned for a while, but they didn’t know it was magical, whatever was happening with it. 

Jeongin, in particular, seemed extremely distraught, and Felix didn’t even need to ask to know that he was probably worrying about his family and everyone in Duskwood. 

Felix shared the same sentiment. 

For the first time in a while, he ended up sleeping alone, because he was led to a different part of the castle while Jeongin was whisked away along with the others.

That night, he had another nightmare about people he had never seen in his life. People he made up? He didn’t know. He didn’t really care at this point, he just wished he could stop having them; these nightmares. 

Felix felt like he couldn’t breathe throughout, which was just wonderful. 

 

Dark skies, ragged breath, a storm brewing behind. 

“If bloodshed is what you want, then bloodshed you shall get,” the man stuttered out the words, gritting his teeth. 

“I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses,” he said, and the thunder struck. 

And then he watched as the man’s lips moved, but he couldn’t hear anything, he couldn’t breathe. 

 

Not for the first time, he woke up gasping. 

Felix was so tired of having nightmares that he thought of reading less, reading fiction books less. They were his favorites, but if they were causing these dreams, maybe he should just start reading educational books like Seungmin. 

In the morning, they went home in a somber mood.

Two days later, a carriage arrived at Silvercrest right after breakfast with the Court Mage in tow. 

Now that it had been decided that Felix was going to work with the Court Mage and her team to find a solution to the rotting, Momo told him that they were having a meeting, and that he was invited. His presence was required, that's what she said.  

To say he was nervous was an understatement. 

In all honesty, Felix did not know much about his family history and about the mage who cursed his family, but the fact was that he had always been wary of mages; probably ever since he understood that his family was cursed by one. 

To meet a whole team of it was definitely not on his bucket list. In fact, the more Felix thought of it, the more he was sure that it was on his… the opposite of bucket list, whatever it was called.

The fact that the meeting took place at Goldencrest didn’t help with his nerves, either. They sent a carriage for him, and while he felt slightly comforted when Seungmin himself insisted that he was coming—he ended up sharing the carriage with both Seungmin and Chan—the two went to see the King when they arrived while Felix was whisked away by Momo. 

He was the one who insisted that he wanted to help, so he didn’t want his friends to know how nervous he was. Felix thought he was rather successful in hiding his nerves, but wasn’t too sure.  

After Seungmin and Chan went their separate ways, they headed towards the meeting room in silence, him and Momo, but it wasn’t because there was nothing to say. On the contrary, Felix felt like it was because there was so much to say, so many things to talk about, that neither of them knew where to start. 

The moment he entered the room, all conversations ceased, and eight pairs of eyes turned to him.

The room itself was not unlike the conference room at Seojun’s house, although it was significantly bigger and grander. 

He followed Momo and took the vacant seat beside her; and then she introduced them one by one. The one called Dahyun flashed him a grin, another one called Sana gave him a friendly wave when she was introduced, while the serious-looking one called Jihyo gave him a small nod.  

Nayeon was also there, of course, but what surprised Felix was that Tzuyu was there—yes, Tzuyu the receptionist. Felix didn’t know why, but he had always thought that the woman was just like him, that she couldn’t do magic. After all, he couldn’t imagine how magic was necessary as a receptionist; but maybe she was more than that, she was definitely more than that because she was sitting here, wasn’t she?

Jeongyeon, the Court Healer, was also there. 

The last two members were both females, and they were whispering among themselves as they kept their eyes on him, nodding as Momo introduced them as Chaeyoung and Mina.

After they got the introductions done and over with, Jihyo took the lead and started the meeting. 

“We will be heading to Havenwood in a few days’ time,” she said, looking around at each one of them. “The animal attacks there are currently the worst throughout the Kingdom. The animals’ behavior is commonly described as wildly violent, even the herbivores are behaving that way, which is unheard of.”

“Felix will be coming with us this time,” Nayeon piped in. “Since we’ve established that this, whatever it is, is magical, his sight is going to be a huge help for us.”

Jihyo nodded in agreement. “We’re going to attempt another purifying ritual to see if it really has no effect. Chaeyoungie has suggested that we should try to catch one of the animals and see if we could figure out what happened to them. I’m fairly sure that this phenomenon is affecting them more than we know, resulting in extreme changes in behavior. We’re going to see if there’s any spell that could help them.”

“Dahyun-ah, I want you to stick close to Felix when we’re there,” Jihyo said, turning to Dahyun who gave her a thumbs up in response.

Momo seemed content with being a listener, which wasn’t all that surprising because Felix could tell that she wasn’t super fond of talking.

“Felix, could you come again tomorrow?” Jihyo suddenly asked.

Not expecting to be addressed, Felix stumbled over his words. “I, uh, yes, sure,” he said smartly.

Jihyo pretty much ignored how stupid he sounded, “Good,” she nodded, seemingly satisfied. “I want you to work with Mina and Sana tomorrow, let them try different kinds of spells and see how it looks to you. Learn everything you can about his sight,” she said the last part to Mina, who simply nodded in response.

The meeting went on like that. Each one of them reported the situation in the Outlands, and Felix did not know how to feel when he heard that while the situation in Duskwood was better than the rest, it was also getting progressively worse. 

He hoped everyone was alright, human or otherwise. He hoped Seung would not try to look for him and end up getting killed. Seung was way too smart for that, though, Felix was sure of it.

Felix also hoped that the rotting wasn’t affecting him or any of the animals there, but that he felt stupid hoping for that just because it had been known to affect animals. 

He wanted to go back home just to make sure that Seung was alright, that his friends were alright, but he didn’t even know how to fix this. If he went back and found them, what was he going to do? Maybe he could bring them here, to the capital. Seungmin would totally let them stay, and when he moved in with Minhyuk, his friend would totally do the same. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” a voice said, and it was then Felix realized that the meeting was over, and everyone had gotten up from their seats. 

It was then he realized that Momo was right behind his seat, waiting for him. 

Felix didn’t know the mage all that well, but he was pretty sure that the look on her face did not mean anything good. Shooting up from his seat, he quickly nodded and followed her outside. She led him through the hallway before they stopped in front of a door with magic swirling all over it.

“Security measures,” Momo supplied without turning around. She pushed the door open and Felix followed her into what looked like a study, or a workroom. There were books scattered all around the room—on the desk, on the floor, on the chair—and there was even more magic in the air. A cauldron was stirring itself near the window. 

The door clicked shut behind them, and Momo gestured for him to take a seat. She waved her hand, and the books that were scattered on the floor and on the seats flew to the bookcase.

Felix muttered a quiet thanks before sitting down, Momo mirroring his movement on the opposite side of the desk. 

And then, they sat in a rather awkward silence. 

The Court Mage sighed. “How much do you know about mages and magic in general?” she asked eventually.

Felix blinked. “Not much,” he said slowly. “I mean… I guess I know almost nothing, unless it’s something related to potions, then I might know a thing or two because I used to help my uncle with potions. Not strictly magical potions, though.”

Momo hummed absentmindedly in response, brow furrowed. “Your uncle didn’t talk much about it?”

“Yeah,” Felix shrugged, more like, at all. Magic was his uncle’s job, and he hated talking about work when he wasn’t working, and whenever he worked he wasn’t home. 

He hated talking about work, unless when it came to potions and plants. Since Felix usually helped him brew potions, his uncle would drone on and on about plants, the different ways to harvest and prep them, things like that. 

“Okay,” Momo said. “I guess I should start from the beginning, then. Fates, I’m really bad at explaining things,” she mumbled the last part more to herself. 

Start what? Explain what? Felix wanted to ask, but he stayed silent. 

“From what you’ve seen,” Momo took a deep breath, “What do you think the general population think about magic? How are magic and mages regarded in general?”

“Uh…” That was sudden. 

Felix thought she was going to explain things, not ask him questions, so he was totally unprepared for that. 

“They’re regarded… nicely?” Felix tried, racking his brain for an answer. Hayeon wasn’t all that popular in Duskwood, and while Felix knew some of the villagers came to her occasionally for help, he also knew that others didn’t. He distinctly remembered Wooyoung saying that his family never went to her for help. “Some people go to mages for help occasionally, but others don’t? At least, that’s how it is in Duskwood?” 

Fortunately, Momo seemed satisfied with his answer. “That’s correct, more or less,” she said. “Magic is convenient, but it's not life-changing. Some people believe in magic, others think that it’s nothing more than a scam. Some liked the scientific approach, others liked exhausting all options before going into despair. The majority of the population isn’t able to wield magic, and most of the time their lives go without a hitch.”

She paused, and Felix took the moment to process what she said. 

“How do you think the upper class views magic?” Momo asked again. “The Royals?”

“I, uh,” Felix frowned. “I’m not sure?”

He had seen Seungmin reading magic-related books a few times, but he always had a permanent scowl on, and whenever Felix asked him about it, he always started with I don’t really understand it myself, but apparently before going off to explain what he learned. 

He never really spoke about magic with the others, even Jeongin never really questioned him all that much about what he did when he was working with Hayeon. Not that he did that for long, but still. Felix had a feeling that he wasn’t all that interested in magic. 

“Honestly, I’m not sure about it as well,” Momo admitted.  “Magic is… useful, but like I said, it’s not life-altering. That is, unless you’re dealing with magical issues, like hexes and curses, or unless you’re dealing with another mage.”

“Most of the Nobles have a mage they trust, though, and some Greater Noble families have a live-in mage that works exclusively for them. To them, it’s mostly about power and appearances. If everyone around you has a mage who ensures that nothing and no one in your house has been hexed, not having one would mean that you’re less than the people around you, that you’re vulnerable compared to them. And of course, the upper class takes that seriously,” she sighed. 

“I’m the official Court Mage by status, but officially, it’s me and my team. I hardly ever worked without them,” she explained. “Teams of mages used to be called covens, back in the day. The term is less common now. My team and I, we’re called the Order of Helios, and we all serve the King. We’ve all sworn our allegiance to the King, and to the Kingdom twice.”

“Twice?” Felix repeated, not entirely sure if he heard that right. 

“Twice,” Momo confirmed. “The first time was when we were admitted into the Suncrest Academy of Magic, the second time when we were chosen to serve as Court Mages. It’s pretty much the same magically-binding oath; perhaps a little more specific, official, and mouthy the second time, but the gist of it is the same.”

The older woman seemed to notice the confused look on Felix’s face. “I’m telling you this for a reason. It’s got something to do with the King’s request, and it’s also got something to do with… your uncle.”

Felix froze. “My uncle?”

Momo gave him a small, hesitant nod. “Your uncle.”

“What does he—“ Felix started, before he stopped himself. “What about him?”

“The King told me that he has informed you about the other… attacks,” Momo said carefully, pausing to wait for Felix’s reaction. Felix nodded, so she continued. “The Kims, the King’s family—the Royal family have been the leaders of Suncrest ever since its founding, they were said to be chosen by the fates themselves. There are some missing records, and we don’t really have everything from the beginning of time written down, but our records from the last five hundred years or so are quite reliable,”

“I told you that we’ve sworn our allegiance to the King, under a magically-binding oath, twice before, and that the first one was when we were admitted to the Academy,” she repeated. “The Academy is the only place in the whole Kingdom where you can learn and pursue magic officially. On your first day, you’re required to swear your allegiance to the King and to the Kingdom, it’s been this way for hundreds of years.”

Felix’s mind was spinning now. 

His uncle never really spoke about his past, and Felix himself never asked. 

From what Momo said, did that mean that his uncle went to the academy as well? That must’ve been years before Momo did though, so Felix doubted she’d know him. But then again, if he went to the academy, shouldn’t his name be registered in the guild? 

“Are all graduates registered in the guild?”

Momo shook her head slightly. “Most are, but not everyone. Sometimes, people find other things, different passions, different jobs. In that case, they don’t bother registering themselves at the guild, but their names should be there in the academy records as an alumnus.” 

So that really meant that his uncle’s name is probably there in the academy records. 

Felix was sure—he knew that his uncle went to the villages to work as a magician though; they brewed some of the potions together—simple, general ones that could be useful for anyone—he always assumed that his uncle went to sell them whenever he was away. He also helped with the ingredient prep for other, more advanced potions he wasn’t privy to, as long as the prep did not involve any magic. 

He still couldn’t understand why his uncle’s name wasn’t there. 

Felix chewed on his bottom lip. 

Whenever he was reminded of his uncle, he always felt uneasy, sad, abandoned. 

It used to be worry, the one thing he felt so intensely. Nowadays though… nowadays it was resignation. He had been trying to tell himself that his uncle would never do that to him, but a part of him thought that he disappeared—that he left on purpose. 

That he abandoned him. 

To Felix, his uncle was family. He was the only person he had. And he thought that he was that for him, too. 

But truthfully, they weren’t even related by blood, and it was by kindness that his uncle decided to take him in as a child instead of dragging him to a random orphanage and leaving him there. 

He was now in his twenties, old enough to be independent, capable enough to live alone and take care of himself. 

Perhaps that was why his uncle left. 

He was too kind to say it directly, to spell it out for him so he decided to just leave. 

Plus, his uncle knew that he was dying soon. Maybe he didn’t want to be there for it. 

The thought stung, but Felix supposed he could understand. It was his uncle’s right, to choose that for himself. 

He knew deep in his heart that if his uncle did not want to be found, he wouldn't find him. What would he even say if he did? What if his uncle lashes out when he finds him, because it was painfully clear that he didn’t want to be found?

Every time Felix was reminded of his uncle, he felt so utterly alone. 

“Felix…” he heard Momo’s voice, and when he looked up, he could see guilt on her face; clear as day. “You said that your uncle works as a mage in the villages, Duskwood included. Tzuyu turned all the records upside down and she couldn’t find him there. There’s no active mage who came from Duskwood, worked in Duskwood, named Insu, who is currently missing. As a matter of fact, very few mages visit Duskwood in particular for business, because there isn’t much of it. Most of the mages who come there are usually those who used to help the villagers who used to live in the other Outlands.”

Felix had been searching for his uncle for so long, the thoughts about him were always at the back of his mind even when he tried not to think about it, and he had, for a long time, hoped for any kind of news, any kind of clues.

What Momo was telling him didn’t help, though, because it kinda felt like it was hard to breathe, suddenly.

Whatever she was trying to imply was nothing good. 

“But… But that’s what he told me,” Felix argued weakly. 

Momo simply watched him, eyes sympathetic.

The truth had been staring at him in the eyes for a long time, but Felix didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t want to. 

Now, though, between the chair that suddenly felt hard as stone and Momo’s sympathetic eyes, there was nowhere to go. 

His uncle lied. 

Felix wasn’t sure what to do with that fact, he couldn’t understand why his uncle would lie to him about this. 

“I think he—I think he might be using a different name?” he tried, because that was the most likely explanation, wasn’t it? That would explain why they couldn’t find his name, because he was registered under a different name. 

Momo shook her head. “Even if that’s the case,” she said slowly. “What he’s doing is still against the law.”

She paused for a moment, letting the words sink. Felix did not want the words to sink, because didn’t that mean that his uncle was a criminal? 

He couldn’t wrap his head around that, because his uncle was the most gentle person he had ever met. He had been nothing but patient with Felix, he had taken him in and raised him, and he was his only family. 

He was the only one Felix had, and he lied. 

Why would he lie?

“Your parents, or your other family members, were any of them a magic user, too?” Momo asked, voice gentle like she didn’t want to put him in distress. Far too late for that.  

Felix shook his head mutely. 

“So in your family, he was the only one who could wield magic? Your uncle, did he marry your mom’s sibling or your dad’s? Or is he the sibling of either of them?”

She was interrogating him now, Felix knew that much. She was interrogating him about his uncle because his uncle was a criminal. 

“I… no,” Felix said, voice quiet. He felt like crying, but he barely knew Momo and he didn’t really want to be that vulnerable in front of her. “My uncle is not—he’s not really my uncle. We’re not related by blood. He’s a family friend. He… My mom died. He found me and took me in.”

They sat there for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything. The silence that stretched between them was no longer awkward, it was heavy and tense now.

“Felix… Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

No, Felix did not know why she was telling him this. 

Maybe she wanted his help to catch his uncle or something? He had been searching for him for so long and he found nothing, so he knew that he wouldn’t be much help. He wasn’t even entirely sure if he wanted to help, because even though his uncle lied, even though he abandoned him, he was still the man who raised him.

“Why?”

Momo took a deep breath before releasing it slowly, like she was trying to calm herself down. “I’ve told you about the way the Academy works, about how every mage is required by law to swear their allegiance to the King and the Kingdom under a magically-binding oath,” she reiterated. “And that is not without reason.”

“Attacks on the Royals aren’t new. There have always been attacks on the Royals. Not all the time, sometimes they stop, but it has happened throughout the years,” she muttered. “One thing remained consistent, though.”

“You have to understand that the Academy was only built around six-hundred years ago. Before that, aspiring mages would just go to the nearest mage, or the mage they admire, and beg for an apprenticeship. If they like you, that’s great. If they don’t, you can kiss your dreams goodbye.”

Felix tried to imagine that, that didn’t sound too promising. 

He remembered someone telling him that Hayeon rejected someone who wanted an apprenticeship with her. Thank fates she lived in this day and age, and not six-hundred years ago, because then he’d pity the aspiring mages who’d come to her for an apprenticeship. 

“Magic users are blessed with the ability to wield magic, yes, but it is physically impossible to learn magic without help,” Momo added. “To control your magic, you have to know how it feels first. That’s where teachers and mentors and senior mages come in, they basically let you have a feel of their magic. This is done for a period of time, until you get used to the feeling enough to reach out to your own and have it reach back without a backlash.”

“It’s a little hard to explain to non-magic users,” she sighed, seemingly a little frustrated. “Anyways, ever since the Academy was established, the laws have also changed. No mage is allowed to take on an apprentice who is not an Academy graduate, making it impossible for magic users to learn magic outside of the Academy. The laws and regulations are strict, and that’s because for as long as our records indicate, whoever is targeting the Royal family has always had a mage, or mages, on their side.”

Momo let out a small grunt, like just talking about it gave her a major headache or something. 

She stood and started pacing. “It should be impossible, with the oath and regulations, but evidently, it is what’s happening. Somehow, there are mages out there who managed to learn to wield their magic outside of the Academy, without the help of any of the Academy graduates. We know for sure that whoever is behind the most recent attack clearly has a mage on their side.”

And then suddenly, Momo turned to him and stopped. 

“I… We haven’t reported your uncle to the King, we haven’t made any official report, not really. I don’t know if he’s just using a different name to evade taxes, or if he actually didn’t go to the Academy. I hope for your sake, it’s the first,” she mumbled as she desperately tried to avoid his eyes. “We could try searching the Academy records, but we don’t really know what to look for. Not without a last name, or even an age. And that’s if he’s not using a different name. Even now, you—we suspect that he does.”

Felix was again, reminded of how little he really knew about his uncle. 

It was never a problem before, it was never meant to be a problem, because he never thought that his uncle would disappear. He never thought he’d leave the forest. 

Why did he need to know his uncle’s last name and his age anyway, when he knew how he preferred his coffee? When he knew just the right way to massage his shoulders, which would always put him in a better mood despite how exhausted he looked? 

“I don’t think we’re going to report him anytime soon, at least, not until we have something. As it stands, we don’t even know his name right now, and he’s clearly fled from where he lived. But… yeah. He’s highly suspicious, and I can’t ignore that. When we have more, or if we find anything that indicates that he didn’t go to the academy, then we’d really need to report him,” she said it all in one breath, which would’ve been kind of impressive, if whatever she was saying wasn’t making him want to puke. “I’m sorry.”

Felix felt sick. 

His mouth was dry, his heart was weirdly hammering against his ribcage like he had just run a considerable distance, and he felt like everything around him suddenly felt so big and overwhelming. 

They were going to report his uncle, who had potentially, had definitely done something he shouldn’t have done.

Something prohibited by law, either tax evasion or murder attempt. 

Fates. Why couldn’t it be like, tax evasion or robbery? Tax evasion or fraud. Tax evasion or anything else but that. 

“I… okay,” Felix sucked in a breath with difficulty. “Okay… If that’s—That’s the right thing to do, right?”

The smile Momo gave him—or at least, the one she attempted to give him, made his insides twist unpleasantly, because there was pity. It was like she knew, or maybe she had a feeling, that it wasn’t going to end well for him and his uncle. 

“Let’s really hope that he just hates paying taxes,” Momo said lightly. She was trying to make him feel better. Felix was grateful. “By the way, have you heard from Hayeon sunbae recently?”

The abrupt change in topic made Felix pause, but apparently it was an okay distraction. 

He needed—wanted to think of something else, anything. 

Felix took a deep, steadying breath as he mentally distanced himself from the thoughts of his uncle. 

Now that he thought of it, he hadn’t heard from Hayeon in a while. In fact, he couldn’t believe he did not notice how quiet she had gone. “No,” Felix replied, frowning. “She hasn’t replied to my last letter.”

“She hasn’t replied to mine, either,” Momo offered, seemingly concerned. “What did she say in her last letter?”

“That she was going to explore a little deeper to see if the rotting’s spread to other areas,” Felix muttered, paling at the memory. Hayeon was going to venture a little deeper into the forest and he hadn’t heard from her since? “Wait, what if something’s happened to her?” he turned to Momo, horrified. 

“No,” Momo quickly disagreed. “Sunbae’s very talented and smart, she’ll be fine.”

Felix hoped so. 

He really, really hoped so, because Hayeon was his friend and he did not want anything to happen to her. She had helped him so much and he hadn’t even begun to return any of the favors, she couldn’t just disappear. 

“I’ll send her another letter,” Felix promised. “She replies quickly, usually. Maybe she’s been too hyper-focused on the forest or on one of her researches lately that she’s forgotten,” he offered, but he knew it was unlikely even as he said it. 

Hayeon was borderline obsessed with his sight. If she was indeed, busy with her research, he was willing to bet everything he owned that he’d be involved in that. She’d definitely send him samples and ask what he sees. 

“Good idea. Let me know when she replies,” Momo responded. 

That was fortunately, all. 

The Court Mage didn’t have anything else that was heart-shattering, worry-inducing that she wanted to discuss with Felix, which was just precisely what he needed. 

If she had something else to add, Felix might just embarrass himself right then and there. He was so close to his breaking point, the day had been too overwhelming for him. 

He went back to Silvercrest in a daze, barely saying anything even as Seungmin and Chan questioned him in the carriage. 

He missed the mildly concerned glances the two exchanged. 

The thing was, Felix thought that he could keep it together, he really did. 

After his friends found out about his sight and about the King’s request for his involvement with the rotting, they’ve been kind of against the idea of him leaving, and they weren’t exactly quiet about it.

Of course, he tried his best to reassure them.

Tried being the keyword. 

“Just because my father asked, you don’t have to do it. You know that right?” Seungmin asked that morning at breakfast, before Felix had to go attend the meeting at Goldencrest. 

Swallowing his food, Felix asked, genuinely confused, “Why wouldn’t I want to help?”

Seungmin actually took a moment to think before answering. 

“The forest is dangerous,” Seungmin said eventually. “It could be dangerous for you to go there. I mean, I know that you won’t be alone, but still, there would be risks.” 

“He’s right,” Jeongin joined in. “Maybe you don’t have to go. You could stay here and they could bring—”

“Guys,” Felix interrupted them. “It’s fine. The forest isn’t as dangerous as you think,” he almost laughed right then and there. He forgot about this, about the way everyone thought of the forest; like it was this big bad place where everything could kill you. It’s a little funny to remember. “Plus, I used to live in the forest.” 

Did he tell them that piece of information, or did Jeongin? He couldn’t really remember, but he knew they knew. 

“This is different, Lixie,” Seungmin said exasperatedly, catching Minho’s eyes. “Father said that you guys would be venturing deep into the forest. You lived on the edge of the forest. It’s different.” 

“Huh?” Felix tilted his head slightly in confusion. “I didn’t live on the edge of the forest.”  

And then of course, it only got worse from there. 

He didn’t think it could get worse, in fact, he thought he was making a point—he thought he was proving that they literally had nothing to worry about because he grew and lived in the forest. He probably knew the forest more than everyone in the capital combined.

Well, they were going to Havenwood, and he hadn’t been there before, but surely it couldn’t be so different; the forest was a forest.

“What do you mean it was a five-day walk from your house?” Minho was practically screeching when Felix told them, when he set the record straight. “You walked for five whole days?!”

“Well, I took breaks occasionally,” Felix told him placatingly, feeling slightly concerned because Minho himself looked very concerned, which was just weird because he hadn’t said anything concerning, had he? “Got a few hours of sleep.”

Apparently, that wasn’t the right thing to say, either. “Outside?!” Minho asked sharply, like Felix just told him that he eats poisonous berries for breakfast. “In the middle of the forest?!”

“Hyung, it was fine, really.” Felix huffed. “Seungie was there, he’d have woken me up if anything’s wrong—and he didn’t! He didn’t, because nothing happened.”

“Seungie—”

“Seung the fox,” Jeongin supplied, looking a little faint himself. “The—the fox I told you about.”

Felix turned to Jeongin in surprise. He told them about Seung? 

Very fortunately for him, his attendance was required in the mages’ meeting, so his friends didn’t get to freak out about the forest more. The look Minho was giving him was worrying, though.

Felix had a feeling that the conversation was far from over.

He groaned internally. 

People and their irrational fear of the forest. Seriously. At least he had the King and—he was pretty sure—Momo on his side, so he was definitely going to Havenwood even if his friends refused to listen to reason. 

That was why the last thing he needed right now, was to not keep it together. 

They had just gotten back from Goldencrest, and now they were all eating dinner together. 

He really, really thought that he could keep it together, but apparently, he was wrong. 

There was a soft gasp. “Lix? What’s wrong?”

It was Jisung. Felix knew from the voice, but also because Jisung was the one who had been sitting right across him. 

Felix wanted to tell him that nothing was wrong, that he was fine, but his uncle lied, and he left, and he was a criminal. 

And weirdly enough, his sight turned very blurry all of a sudden. 

“Are you hurt?!”

“You’re hurt?!”

There were clattering sounds, utensils being dropped onto the plates. There were also squeaking sounds, probably from the chairs being pushed back.

“What?! What hurts? Call the Court Healer!”

Before his friends decided to call the Court Healer for nothing, Felix shook his head frantically in an effort to communicate that no, he wasn’t hurt. 

“Hyung,” he could hear Jeongin’s voice beside him. “What’s wrong?”

He felt pathetic and weak. He felt embarrassed. The overwhelming feeling that had been the constant weight deep in his gut ever since he had the conversation with Momo earlier was suddenly too much to bear. 

“I’m sorry,” he managed to choke out the words. 

Because he was. He was sorry. His uncle was a criminal. He was either a criminal who had been using an illegal method to evade taxes, or he could possibly be one of the mages who had been helping whoever was targeting the King—targeting Seungmin and his family. 

The possibility terrified him more than anything, and he couldn’t even tell his friends about it because that was what the King wanted. 

Because that was how he kept them safe. In case everything fell apart. 

They didn’t deserve this. They didn’t deserve this at all. Felix felt like the worst friend ever, because his uncle had been trying to kill them, if that was true. 

Fates. 

That couldn’t be true. Please don’t let it be true. 

“If my uncle is a criminal, would you hate me?” he eventually asked, lips wobbling a little because he was frankly terrified to hear their answer. 

“...What?”

What was he saying, they were Royals. They couldn’t be associated with a criminal, what would everyone say?

The moment they reported his uncle was probably the moment he’d see them for the last time, if not the King, the Royal staff would ensure that. 

It was fine, it was fair. He was never supposed to stay here for long anyway, but he thought he had more time. He thought they could be friends for a little longer. He didn’t think he’d have to leave so soon. 

The thought of leaving and never seeing them again was surprisingly less bearable than he thought it’d be. 

Apparently, the fact that he had known it for a long time did not help. 

And then he felt tissues gently shoved onto his face. 

“I don’t know what you’re on about, but you’re an idiot if you think I’ll ever hate you,” someone said. 

Honestly, Felix was too busy breaking down that he wasn’t entirely sure who said that, not that it mattered because it just made him cry harder, because how could they be so kind and good? 

Right, probably because he hadn’t really elaborated on what kind of criminal his uncle was. He hadn’t told them that his uncle could potentially be helping whoever was trying to poison, to kill them. 

“Hey, Lix, I don’t understand. We don’t understand. You gotta use your words.” 

That was right, whoever said that was right. He couldn’t tell them everything, but he could at least explain what he could properly ; why he was freaking out and why he was bawling his eyes out. 

“He’s just—he’s just gone,” he said, forcing the words out because strangely enough it felt like they were stuck in his throat. “There’s nothing—I asked the guild and they, he’s not registered there but he works as a mage and he was supposed to be registered. I told them that maybe he’s using another name and they said that it’s still against the law, especially because they suspect that he’s doing this to evade taxes… So he’s a criminal,” he said, feeling devastation clawing up his stomach. “I'm sorry.”

He hated it. He hated the fact that he couldn’t even tell them that his uncle might be helping whoever was trying to kill them. 

He was no saint, he knew that. 

He had lied to them multiple times before, yes, but maybe he hated this one the most, because it felt like he was betraying them. They’d definitely hate him if they find out— when they find out. 

“Hey, hey, no,” there was a hand running up and down his back; and it took Felix a few seconds to realize that it was Chan. Chan was the one saying that. 

“No?” What did he mean by no? No, it’s not a crime? His uncle wasn’t a criminal? The tax evasion part was okay? “He’s not?”

“Well, yes, he probably is,” Chan stammered, a grimace on his face. “But I meant like, no, please don’t cry.” 

It wasn’t like he wanted to cry. In fact, he had been trying not to, he had been trying to keep it together. He said nothing in response, though, because saying it out loud would just make him sound whiny. 

Whinier than he already was, anyway. 

Instead, he focused his efforts on not crying. It did not work.

“It's gonna be okay, I’m sure,” Jisung said comfortingly, confidently. “I mean, it could be a misunderstanding or something, right?”

“Yeah,” Jeongin agreed a little too passionately. “Maybe it’s all just a misunderstanding. It’ll be easy to clear up.”

“Tax evasion isn’t that bad,” Hyunjin spoke up. “I mean, it’s not… good. It’s bad, but it’s not bad bad,” he went on, sounding increasingly distressed. “I mean, there are worse things! Much worse things! Uh,” he paused. 

Across him, Felix saw Minho who was widening his eyes at Hyunjin, like he was warning him to stop talking or something.

Teary eyed, Felix stared at them like they’re the world, because they were. They were his world. He didn’t deserve them. They’re trying to comfort him even though the truth was right there. 

“I’m sorry if this sounds obvious, but have you asked your family? Maybe someone knows something about his whereabouts?” Changbin suggested helpfully. “Your dad? Your cousin? They might know things you don’t.”

“What?” Felix asked, genuinely confused. Didn’t he tell them his parents were dead? His cousin? He didn’t even know if he had one. If he did, they’d be dead anyway. Most likely. “My dad’s dead.”

“What?” Changbin paled. 

“What?” Jeongin echoed, sounding extremely shocked. 

He hadn’t told them? He thought he did, or did he only tell them that his mom’s dead? Shit, he couldn’t really remember. This was why lying wasn’t for him. 

“My uncle’s the only family I have left,” he explained quietly, wiping his face a little roughly. “I mean, he’s not really, we’re not—related by blood but,” he sighed, it didn’t matter to him, that they weren’t related by blood. To him, his uncle was family. “He’s all I have.”

No one said anything in return, and when Felix finally found the courage to look up, he was met with devastated expressions. 

“I’m fine, though,” he said quickly, eager to reassure, because he didn’t want them to be upset. “I’m fine, sorry, I was just—I didn’t think that my uncle is, that my uncle would—“

“It’s going to be okay,” Seungmin said, voice quiet but firm. “I’m sure we can do something about it.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Minho said, sounding strangely determined. 

Felix felt himself getting teary-eyed again, so he blinked rapidly to get rid of the tears. “I mean if it’s—if it’s the taxes I can work? And then I can help him pay for all the things he didn’t pay… That would help, right?” 

And if his uncle was involved in any way in the murder attempts and the like… No. That was impossible. There was no way his uncle was involved in that. 

But…

But what if he was? 

Felix did not want to think of that, but he kind of had to. 

If his uncle was involved, then he would stop him. He would do everything in his power to… to stop him. Or, he would do everything in his power to prove that he was not involved, because there was no way—

Fates. He was such a mess. 

“Don’t worry about that,” Seungmin said, jolting Felix out of his thoughts. “It’ll turn out just fine, you’ll see.”

That was kind of Seungmin, to say that. 

It was then Felix remembered that his friends were powerful people, which was great. Good for them, but what was implied made him feel extremely guilty. 

“If he really did… that, then he should be responsible for it,” Felix muttered quietly despite the unpleasant feeling churning in his stomach. “We’ll be responsible for it, and we’ll pay what we’re obligated to pay, sorry. That’s not why—that’s not why I asked you—I just, does this mean we can still be friends?” 

Because really, that was why he was freaking out. Well yes, he was also freaking out about his uncle’s lies and his not-so-stellar criminal records, but right now he was feeling heartbroken because he did not want to leave. 

Not yet. 

Not ever, but that wasn’t possible, so he’d settle for not yet. 

“If you think I’ll ever stop being your friend, hyung, you’re delusional,” Jeongin said, lips pulled into a small pout like the notion offended him. 

“Yeah,” Jisung agreed. “You’re not responsible for your uncle’s actions, silly.”

“Yeah?” Felix asked, voice a little unsteady, because they still wanted to be his friends. Well, the King and the rest of the Royal staff might have a very different opinion, but at least, for now, they could stay this way. 

With the courage he didn’t think he had, he looked around, taking in their expression. 

No one looked like they hated him… probably. 

Chan seemed quite distraught, and Seungmin had that expression he always had whenever he encountered something he didn’t understand, or something he couldn’t solve. 

Minho still looked strangely determined, and Changbin was giving him a kind, reassuring smile. 

Hyunjin looked away when their eyes met, but he didn’t look like he was mad at Felix, if anything, he looked a little embarrassed. 

Felix had no idea why he’d feel embarrassed when he was the one who had been embarrassing himself in front of all of them. 

“Group hug!” Jisung exclaimed, and then without further warning, his body crashed into Felix’s and he was pulled into a rather bone-crushing hug. 

He saw Jeongin joining in right after, and then it was just too much of a mess of limbs to know which was whose. 

Smiling, Felix let himself bask in the moment. 

Maybe the fates weren’t so cruel. Yeah, he couldn’t be with them as soulmates, but maybe being friends was enough. 

Maybe it was more than enough. 

 

---

 

 

It’s almost a little unnerving, how quick things changed. 

After that night, the King had been involving them in the matters of the Kingdom, and on one hand, Minho was glad. He knew his mates were glad, too, but it also meant that there were more things to stress about. 

Which was fine. Which was a given. 

That was what being an adult was supposed to be like, that was what being an heir was supposed to be like. 

Apparently, because of what had been happening in the forest, food was becoming a problem all over the Kingdom. It was believed that whatever was affecting the forest was also affecting the land, the soil, and plants were starting to die. 

That was what the King trusted them to handle. 

He wanted them to find a solution, a permanent one, if possible, but a temporary one would be fine as well, which was why they all had been knee-deep in agricultural books the past few days, even Jeongin. 

Heck, Jeongin had more experience dealing with plants and soil compared to all of them combined, so they’d learned a lot from him. 

Minho was glad that they were busy with this now, because then he didn’t have the time to worry about the cult and the symbol too much, even though every time he had a moment of rest, he’d immediately remembered them. 

There was just something about them that made his skin itch, that made him feel like he was missing something. 

Changbin and Hyunjin were convinced that they were just crazy people doing crazy things, and Minho agreed wholeheartedly. He agreed that they were crazy, but he didn’t agree that they should just let them be as long as they weren’t hurting anyone, precisely because they were crazy. 

It was only a matter of time before they hurt someone, but apparently that was just him.

He wasn’t blaming anyone, no. He understood that the food problem took precedence, and they needed to focus on solving that right now, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was supposed to do something about the cult, too. 

It was fine, Minho knew how to prioritize. He could prioritize. 

They’d deal with the food and the forest, and then they’d deal with the cult.

He wished whatever was happening in the forest wasn’t magical, though. He hated that it was magical. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t do magic, and no matter how much he read about it, it never made much sense. 

He also hated that Felix could see magic, because now he had to go check out the problem himself, because he was the only one who could see it. 

“I should come with you,” Minho said absentmindedly as he sat opposite Felix in a game of chess. He taught Felix how to play recently, and while he was a quick learner—as in, he understood the pieces and their roles and moves quickly—he wasn’t all that good at it, so he was losing, as always. 

Felix laughed at him like he was some delusional child rambling about nonsense. “You’re not coming with me,” he said. “You’re needed here. Besides, I know the forest better than you do, I’ll be fine without you.”

If it wasn’t true, Minho would be a little offended. But it was true, Minho had never even been to the forest.

“You might know the forest better than I do, but I know the world better than you do,” Minho retorted. “And your decision-making skills leave little to desire. What if you stumble into another cult and thought that they were just a group of people exploring the forest or something?”

“Hyung,” Felix whined. “That was one time, stop bringing it up!”

“I’ll stop bringing it up if you stop—”

“Besides, we’d be in the middle of the forest. There are no cults in the forest, trust me, I know!”

“With your luck, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had somehow decided to move their stupid meetings there right when you need to be there.”

Felix shot him an unimpressed look. “Seriously, hyung, I’ll be fine. If you don’t trust me, then you can at least trust the noonas.”

“Oh, believe me, I trust them,” Minho said lightly. “I just think that you need constant supervision, and they don’t know that, not as well as I do. If they take their eyes off you for a second, you’ll—”

Felix reached across the board to shove him playfully. It barely made Minho move. “I’ll be fine!”

Minho ignored him entirely. “I should come,” he repeated. “Me and Binnie, maybe. Chan hyung could stay back to keep an eye on everyone else, and—”

“Fates, hyung,” Felix groaned. There was a hint of exasperation on his face, but his lips were pulled into a fond smile. He looked around like he was trying to pull an argument out of nothing, but then he zoned into the board in front of them. 

Felix grabbed a pawn, looking up at Minho. “This is me,” he said. 

Minho watched him incredulously, wondering what he was doing.

With his other hand, he grabbed the king, waving it lightly. “This is you.”

It took Minho a second, but then it finally clicked, what Felix was trying to say. 

The younger returned the pieces to their respective places before his eyes found Minho’s. “If I’m gone, the game goes on,” he said. “But if you’re gone, it’s game over.”

Minho hated that. 

He also hated the fact that if it was anyone else sitting across him, he’d agree, because it was the truth. 

But it was Felix, so it was wrong. 

“You’re not a pawn,” Minho argued quietly. 

Felix just laughed, “Well, I’m no king.”

Minho was a realist. He was a realist because reality was always right. Because there was no way to argue with reality.

But maybe right now, he really wanted to. “We’re not chess pieces,” he added. It sounded weak in his ears.

“No,” Felix agreed, smiling indulgently. “It’s just an analogy.” 

“Well, it’s a bad analogy.” 

Instead of arguing back, Felix simply smiled, looking at Minho like he could read him like an open book. Only, Minho knew that he couldn’t, because he had no idea how seriously worried he was. He had never been this worried, not even for his own soulmates. Each one of them had better luck and common sense than five Felixes combined, he could argue. 

“The forest is my home,” Felix said gently. “I feel at ease there. There’s no place safer for me than the forest.”

Minho sighed. 

Theoretically, he knew that it was probably true. Maybe. Honestly, he was just having a hard time believing that Felix was safe anywhere because it felt like he could find danger even in the safest place. 

Maybe he could find a way to convince the Court Mage to let him come. 

He didn’t even need Felix to agree, if the Court Mage allowed him to come, he’d come. The problem was that she probably wouldn’t agree without asking the King first, and Minho was pretty sure he knew what the old man was going to say. 

“Safe is a strong word.”

Felix stared at him in disbelief. “Fates, you’re worse than Youngie hyung.” 

“Well, thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.“

Minho let out a gasp in mock surprise. “It wasn’t?”

Felix rolled his eyes in response, but kept himself from arguing further. “Hyung,” he said, turning serious all of a sudden. “When I’m away, could you keep an eye on Innie? He’s gonna go crazy with worry or something. He’s… he’s like you, I guess. He’s terrified of the forest.” 

Bold of you to think that I won’t go crazy with worry, Minho didn’t say. “Sure,” he said instead. “I’ll pass it on to Chan hyung, because I’m coming. Also, I’m not terrified of the forest.”

Felix let out a frustrated groan, but again, he didn’t bother arguing back. 

It was almost as if he was sure that Minho wasn’t going to come. He definitely understood the King well even though he barely knew him. 

Minho hadn’t given up just yet. Maybe he could think of something—he will think of something, a reason that would convince the King to let him come. 

They finished their game of chess. Minho won, of course. Felix let out a small groan of disappointment. 

Minho had been thinking a lot lately. He had been thinking a lot the past few days. He was coming to a decision, but he knew that he was never going to really come to one because he was still missing a few pieces of information. A few missing pieces of the puzzle.

“Can I ask you something?” Minho found himself asking. 

He wasn’t sure if it was the right time for this, but the more he thought of it, the more he realized that there was probably never going to be the right time for it, so now was as good as ever.

Felix nodded, eyebrows raised. 

“Remember the first time we talked? You were reading about soulmates.” 

The effect was almost instantaneous. 

Minho watched as Felix’s eyes widened in panic? Horror? A mixture of both, maybe? He didn’t know. All he knew by now was that whenever anyone started talking about soulmates, Felix freaked out. This was the reaction he should expect, and he couldn’t understand why. 

Understanding that the younger tend to freak out was important, though. 

It was why he thought now was as good as ever. They were in the library, far from any sharp objects or anything mildly dangerous, so he didn’t have to worry about any surprise stabbing. 

“You told me that… you haven't met your soulmate, but that you've always planned to spend your life alone,” Minho said, repeating what he remembered. Worryingly enough, the panic he could clearly see in Felix’s eyes intensified. Minho wouldn’t be all that surprised if the younger suddenly bolted away. Felix’s words had bothered him ever since he heard them, even more the more he got to know him. “Why’s that?”

Felix visibly swallowed. “What?”

It really looked like he was trying to find an excuse to run, to escape, but Minho wanted to know. He needed to know, because being alone sounded very sad and lonely, and it wasn’t something he could ever imagine for Felix. 

Maybe it was also because he wanted to finish what he started. 

Back then at the revelation of Felix’s mother’s death, he backed off. He had seen it with his own eyes, he knew that logically, he wasn’t one of them, yes, but something was still bugging him.

Especially after Hyunjin revealed that he had this weird connection with Felix, which just didn’t make sense. 

Hyunjin was a lot of things, but a liar wasn’t one of them. 

Actually, Minho would personally deck whoever called him a liar right in the face. 

“Why do you feel that way?” Minho pressed, unrelenting. 

“Hyung, I…” Felix trailed off. Minho could see the frustration in his expression as he ran his fingers through his hands, looking like he was facing an exam he had no idea he was having today. 

“Tell me why.”

Was it possible for people to be soulmates even though they didn’t share the pain-transference bond? Not as far as he knew, it wasn’t possible. But then how would he explain the connection between Hyunjin and Felix? How would he explain the fact that more than half of them clearly liked Felix more than they were supposed to? The same exact person? What were the chances of that? 

Felix could be the most charming person in the entire world and Minho thought that it shouldn’t be possible. Not when they’ve known each other for less than a year. It took him ages to just be civil with Seungmin. He didn’t get to see it, but he also knew that it took Jisung ages to do the same. 

They already had each other, they were perfectly happy and content with what they had. 

And then Felix just marched in and made himself belong with little to no effort at all. Heck, when his lovers had to go to the city or wherever all he had to say was okay, see you later. Nowadays when Felix was leaving he felt like he was going to get an aneurysm or something. Whenever he was absent Minho felt like something was missing, like they weren’t complete. 

It was mental. 

They’d only known each other for a few months. His presence, or the lack of it, shouldn’t bother Minho this much.

Felix stared at him, mouth opening and closing helplessly like he couldn’t decide what to say. Minho met his eyes readily, determined not to back off this time. 

“It’s, I,” Felix stuttered, clearly frazzled. “They’re dead.”

Minho froze.

He wasn’t sure if—did he hear that right? 

But that couldn’t be right, could it? His soulmate couldn’t be dead? 

Minho couldn't help but think that Felix had gotten the short end of the stick too many times now. His parents were dead, his uncle was missing, his soulmate was dead.

He felt like a complete asshole now. Felix did not want to talk about soulmates, and there was a reason for that. He didn’t need Minho poking his nose where it didn’t belong, he didn’t need to be forced to remember time and time again about all the bad things that had happened in his life.

Fates.

“I’m…” Minho was speechless for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

His soulmate was dead and he was going to spend his lifetime alone. And here they stood, and there were seven—eight of them. 

Have they been flaunting what he could never have all this time? Fuck. Was that why he wanted Jeongin to at least give them a chance, because he knew what it felt like to lose his soulmate? 

“It’s fine!” Felix said quickly. “It’s fine,” he repeated, smiling awkwardly and totally avoiding Minho’s eyes. “That’s why I… yeah. I have no problem with it, though, don’t worry! You know I love animals, yeah? I’ll be like, an animal…guy. You know, like cat ladies, but with animals in general!”

Minho knew that he was trying to make it better, but if anything, he just made him feel worse. 

“It'll be fine,” he wouldn’t even realize that he was saying it if he didn’t hear his own voice. He said it like a promise. Maybe it was a promise. “You’ll be fine.” 

Felix gave him a confused smile, like he was saying, yeah, that’s what I said?, head slightly cocked to the side.

Yeah no, he wasn’t going anywhere. 

What did he mean by animals anyway? Cats and dogs and horses? They all knew that he also had a pet—a fox friend. Minho wasn’t sure how that happened but it certainly sounded concerning - some animals are wild animals that were not meant to tame. What if he stumbled into a wolf or something and thought he should say hi?

Minho was definitely going to have to sit Felix down and make sure that he's aware of which animals were okay to pet and which weren’t. 

The decision he was mulling over was finalized right then and there. A plan started forming in his mind, he knew what to do.  

The first thing he needed to do was, of course, find Changbin. That wasn’t hard to do, it only took him fifteen minutes to locate him. 

“What do you think about Felix?” 

Changbin flinched—jumped, really, and then he turned around to face him, shaving cream on his face and a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“Fates, hyung,” Changbin breathed, evidently spooked. “Learn to knock, will you?”

Minho rolled his eyes and shot him a flat look. “So?”

Changbin stared at him in disbelief. “Let me finish my business and put on some clothes before you scare the shit out of me, maybe?” he asked incredulously. “Also, what's with the question? That came out of nowhere.”

Minho narrowed his eyes at him. You could shave and answer, he wanted to argue, but he decided against it. “Five minutes,” he simply said before he left, closing the bathroom door behind him. 

Changbin took ten minutes.  

On any other day Minho would give him a loving death threat or two, but he was feeling generous today. 

Changbin definitely knew he took longer than promised, because instead of sitting next to Minho, he decided to stand a safe distance away, leaning his back on the wall.

Patiently, like an angel, Minho repeated his question. “What do you think about Felix?”

Changbin stared at him like he had grown another head. “I… geez hyung. What's got into you?"

Minho sighed. He supposed with Changbin, it's best to be straightforward, because while the guy is sensitive to other people's feelings, he could be a little slow sometimes.

“I'm trying to understand where you stand in all of this.”

Changbin simply raised his eyebrows, urging him to continue.

“Seeing that more than half of us clearly like him a lot more than we should,” Minho spoke slowly and deliberately. “I was thinking that instead of being stupidly miserable, that maybe we should just, you know.”

He knew he was being vague, but he trusted Changbin to be smart enough to understand what he was implying.

Changbin was frowning as he tried to process the words. Eventually, he blinked. “…you think we should just court him?”

Minho shrugged. 

Changbin blinked. And then he blinked again. And then he looked at Minho like he was a madman. “Hyung, I… I don’t know what to say—I don't know where to begin. I mean, he’s not our soulmate. We have an eighth that we haven’t found, and…”

Minho stared at him wordlessly, waiting.

“And he's not our soulmate,” Changbin finished lamely. 

If anyone thought that Minho hadn’t thought of all those things as well, they probably didn’t know him. He knew that, he understood that, but Felix’s soulmate was dead. His soulmate was dead and Minho happened to care a lot about him, so he was not going to let him be an animal guy and get his head eaten. 

Minho liked to think that he was rather good at arguments. 

One of the reasons he was good at it, was because he knew when to argue soundly and when to argue personally.

“If Chan hyung turned out to be someone else’s soulmate, would you have let him go?”

“….”

“You pretty much fell head over heels the first time you saw Hyunjin, if he wasn't our soulmate, would you have backed off just like that?” 

“That's…” Changbin trailed off. That’s different, Minho knew that was probably what he wanted to say, but it really wasn’t. It seemed like Changbin realized, as well, so he abandoned that particular argument. “But… What about the Nobles? The public? We can't just do anything we want, hyung, you know this just as well as I do. Us courting someone who is not our soulmate will be disastrous. Most of the Noble families will be against it, and—”

“So don't tell anyone he's not ours,” Minho interrupted. “No one has to know.” 

Changbin froze. “You mean we should pretend that he is?”

Minho gave him a half-hearted shrug. “No one will know.” 

Changbin gaped at him, at the idea, but said nothing. 

At this point, it was probably fine to admit that Minho was fond of Felix. He liked him. He might be overly fond of him. 

At least, that was what he thought. 

At least, that was what he was trying to tell himself.

But the other day, Felix made omelets. 

He said it was Jeongin's mom's recipe, and he made it for Jeongin to cheer him up because he’d been rather gloomy in the face of the upcoming banquet. Of course, he ended up making enough for all of them, going so far as to get the cooks’ approval.

It smelled delicious. Minho was slightly impressed, but that wasn't what did it.

What did it for Minho was how he had drawn a smiley face on top of each omelet using ketchup.

And then when Minho looked up in reflex, catching his eyes, Felix beamed and it kinda went straight to his heart.

No shit, he's screwed.

He has always had a thing for cute things, like cats and criminally soft boys.

Minho wasn’t in denial, not at all. He was just the kind of person who was slow to think, even slower to decide and admit. 

Something like that. 

“Hyung, that's… I can't even begin to list everything that could go wrong with it,” Changbin said eventually. “Honestly, you… Oh.” 

Minho’s eyebrow twitched. He didn’t like how that last word sounded. “What?”

“Oh. You… you too?” Changbin asked, seemingly horrified all of a sudden.  

Minho shot him his best menacing glare. He could tell it didn't work.

“Wow. I. Wow. Okay. Um. Wow. I didn't see that coming.” 

Minho was very rapidly, losing his patience now. 

“Would you like to spar or something?” he asked, tone falsely sweet. “It always helps you think.” 

Minho was good with swords. Maybe even better than Changbin—what he didn’t have in brute force, he made up for in his intelligence and agility.

The way Changin paled significantly gave Minho a sense of satisfaction. “No, haha, no. Yeah. I'm not in the mood for sparing today. And tomorrow. And for the rest of the week.”

Good, because Minho was going to destroy him, teach him a lesson or two about respecting his elders, or something. It wouldn’t be his first time. 

“So. What do you think?” Minho decided to let him go, going back to his first question. 

Changbin turned serious at the question, shaking his head. “I'm not quite there yet, if you ask me. It’s not that I don't like him, because I do, but right now I'm too… worried.”

“Worried?”

“I don't want anyone to get hurt,” Changbin said plainly. “I don't want any of you to get hurt.”

That was fair. 

If he managed to convince everyone else, he’d still have one last person to convince, after all. 

Felix. 

Jeongin had been following him like a lovesick puppy and he had yet to notice. Maybe before the convincing, Minho had to put in efforts to knock some sense into that head of his.

“Besides, what about him? What about Felix? What about what he wants? What about his soulmate?”

Minho sighed, lips pulled into a small grimace. “You don't have to worry about that.”

“What?” Changbin asked, confused. “Why?”

Because his soulmate is dead, Minho thought, but he didn’t say it out loud. 

His soulmate was dead, so there shouldn’t be any problem. They all liked him, and Minho wouldn’t be able to have a good night's sleep knowing Felix was all alone out there with some random animals who might just eat him in his sleep. 

Minho seriously hoped that when the younger man said animals he meant safe, docile animals, but Felix didn’t have a very good track record when it came to common sense so Minho did not want to assume. 

He was pretty sure that once the others knew that Felix’s soulmate was dead and that he was planning to spend the rest of his life alone, they would be on board with what Minho had in mind. 

“Focus,” Minho said, shaking his head. “That’s not what we’re discussing right now. I was asking about what you think.” 

Changbin sighed. “If we’re dismissing the risks and potential troubles that could come from this, and if everyone wants the same thing, then I'm fine with it,” he paused, thinking. “Honestly, it's not like it's going to be a chore, he's easy to like.”

Minho understood. 

Despite the way Changbin interacts with people, despite the way he held himself in confidence, despite the way he confidently showed affection, he was also the kind of person who held back, at least at first.

He held back because he knew damn well that once he loves, there was no way back.

Changbin was intense with everything he did— passionate, Chan would say—and he doesn't half-ass anything, so really, Minho understood. 

“You don't have to worry about me, hyung,” Changbin added. “It's probably Jinnie you have to worry about.”

Minho almost laughed at that. “You’re worried about Hyunjin?”

“You’re not?”

Well, initially, he was. “Not after the banquet, no.”

Changbin frowned. “What happened at the banquet?”

“Seriously?” Minho huffed. “See, this is what you get from being such a single-minded idiot—I told you that you shouldn't even bother acknowledging his parents, but no, what a ridiculous suggestion hyung,” he mimicked Changbin’s voice mockingly. “Just shut up and let me spend the whole night glaring at them.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Changbin asked a little defensively.

“Nothing’s wrong with that, they deserved that and more,” Minho said placatingly. “But you're practically incapable of multitasking so you missed everything else that was happening.”

Changbin huffed in annoyance, but he knew it was true. “Enlighten me then.”

“Hyunjin was beside himself with jealousy, he kept glancing towards Felix and his friends the whole night. You know he's really bad at hiding it,” Minho laughed. “And he gets jealous easily. Honestly, he barely even spared his own parents a glance. You know he usually gets distraught at the smallest thing they do or say to him, but his mind was entirely elsewhere the whole night.”

Changbin blinked, seemingly in disbelief. “Wait, really?”

“Really,” Minho said. “Knowing him, he's probably still in denial or something, not unlike Chan hyung, but it's clear as day that he likes him.”

“Oh,” Changbin mumbled. “Well, then.”

He didn't continue, but he didn't need to. Minho knew what he was going to say. 

Well then, you don't really have anything to worry about. 

Other than the nobles and the rest of the kingdom, but Minho was pretty sure that they weren't going to have problems with that. If anything happened no one could prove that Felix wasn't theirs anyway. There was going to be nothing to worry about in that department, Minho was convinced. 

He just needed to talk to the rest of his mates and make sure that everyone wanted the same thing.

And then they'd court Felix and make sure that he wasn't romantically interested in Lee Minhyuk or Seok Hyunwoo or fates forbid, Kim Byungjoon. 

Damn it, Minho hated how he was one of the people he could think of right now. 

Yeah, no. Minho was not going to let Byungjoon get close to Felix, preferably ever again, and what better way to do that than to make Felix theirs? 

A satisfied smirk bloomed on his face as he imagined how Byungjoon would look when they told him that Felix was their soulmate. His sour face and his poorly hidden envy would be such a sight to see. 

That would be fun. Minho almost couldn't wait for that.

“Oh, by the way,” Minho began, remembering something. “We can’t court him if he’s dead, so do you want to come with me? I wanna try bribing the Court Mage so that she’ll let us come with them to Havenwood.”

Changbin just stared at him, eyes wide, mouth hanging. “I’m sorry, what?”

---

 

Nothing. There was nothing all around him. Just an endless sea of black, of darkness.

His surroundings vibrated all of a sudden. Looking around in alarm, he tried to steady himself. An earthquake?

No… That wasn't right. There was no earthquake. 

He was trembling. 

And then he felt it. A presence, huge and overwhelming, right behind him. 

Turn around, something urged him, but he couldn't. He wouldn't, because he was trembling. 

He was terrified. 

He needed to turn around, he knew it in his heart. Why did he know that? He had no idea, but he didn't want to turn around. He wanted to run. 

But where would he go?

With the courage he didn't know he had, he slowly turned to face it. Was it okay to call it courage? It was more of helplessness, of defeat, because he knew he had to turn. 

It felt like the air all around him had been sucked away. 

Big, golden eyes met him, sharp and piercing. 

Notes:

Minho: My soulmates are a little funny in the head.
Also Minho: (is the most unhinged of them all)

hi! so sorry for the late update, but i hope the length of the chapter made up for it. :D
special thanks to the lovely @ALis27Dnm for beta reading this chapter! 💓
as always, thanks to everyone who left kudos, subscribed, or bookmarked this this fic! and most importantly, thanks to everyone who left comments, whenever i hit a writer's block i totally go back to the comment section to read the comments and hype myself up lmao

i hope life's been well, and i hope you liked the chapter! see you in the next one ☺️

Chapter 32: The Strength of A Resolve

“I thought you died.”

Felix glanced at Siwoo just to shoot him a dirty glare, hoping that it sufficiently communicated how ridiculous he thought he was being. 

His friend returned it with a flat look, “‘twas a perfectly reasonable conclusion.”

Felix hated how Siwoo viewed him sometimes, like he was some lost child who could stumble into a gaping hole and die any second. 

“Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly alive and well, thank you.”

“You're alive, alright,” Siwoo replied, sounding slightly impressed, which made Felix feel a little offended if he had to be honest. “I don't know about well, though. You've been staring at that clock like it has the answers to all of the Kingdom’s problems.”

Felix blinked. 

He had been spacing out. He didn't realize he was spacing out. For Siwoo—who sometimes complained that he talked too much—to mention it like it was a problem, he must've spaced out for too long, he must've stayed silent for too long in his friend’s opinion, which never happened before. 

“Sorry,” Felix sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “There's just—I have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

A few seconds passed, and then some more. 

“Well?” Siwoo asked, eyebrows raised. “Start speaking. Just because my family owns a clock shop, doesn't mean I have all the time in the world to watch ya stand around like an idiot.” 

Felix made a face at him. 

If they weren't friends he'd be offended. They were friends, though, and he knew Siwoo well enough to understand that he always hid his compassionate side behind insults and this whole grumpy facade he had going on. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends,” he grumbled. 

“Because I’m charming,” Siwoo said flatly without missing a beat. “Because you love ‘Ma’s cooking.”

Felix raised his eyebrows, thoughtful. “I do love your ‘Ma’s cooking,” he said it like he just had a revelation.

He saw Siwoo move, but it was still too late. His friend flung the tiny, crumpled piece of parchment he had lying down in front of him, hitting Felix right on the head. 

“Hey!” Felix protested indignantly, bending down to grab it and flinging it back across the room. 

He missed. 

Siwoo smirked at him like he thought he was stupid. 

“You're so annoying,” Felix said with an exaggerated sigh. 

His friend simply rolled his eyes, but made no move to engage in the argument. “So what's wrong?” he asked. “Are you in trouble? Did you run into the guards? Or is it money problems? Do you need to borrow some?”

See? Compassionate side poorly hidden behind that grumpy exterior. 

“No,” Felix muttered glumly. “It’s… it's complicated.”

“If it isn't, it wouldn’ta been a problem, would it?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Felix said as he let out another sigh. It seemed like Siwoo wanted to know—wanted to listen. “It's… I have a friend,” he began, pausing to think his words over. He couldn't really confide in Siwoo, at least, he couldn't confide in him completely, seeing that it was a sensitive subject. Sensitive subject as in, it’s got to do with the Royals. 

He needed to be careful with his words. 

Again, he must’ve paused for way too long, because Siwoo started speaking up—started offending him again. 

“I fail to see the prob—oh wait, that makes sense. Did you drive them crazy with your stupidity? That's definitely —”

Felix interrupted him, face twitching. “Do you wanna listen or not?” 

It was thankfully, enough to shut Siwoo up. His friend was annoying, but he wasn't insensitive. He probably sensed that Felix was in a poorer mood than he initially thought or something. 

“I have a friend, and I know something he doesn't,” Felix said after a while, voice quiet. “It’s something… important to him, and he might—he probably wants to know, but everyone else is telling me that I shouldn't tell him, and that it wouldn't be in his best interest to know, so I just…” he trailed off. “I don't know what to do,” he finished vaguely. 

His mind drifted back to yesterday. 

 

“The King has a request for you,” Momo told him. They were sitting in her study. Felix had just finished working with Sana and Mina—they did a bunch of magic and asked him questions about what he saw to learn more about his sight. “He wants you to take a look at the Queen.”

When Sana told him that Momo wanted to see him, he didn’t expect this; not really. 

“Seungmin’s mother?” he clarified, feeling a little stupid after he blurted out the question because who else would she refer to as the Queen?

Regardless, Momo nodded. “She’s been ill for a long time. She’s been ill even before I started working here.” 

“The King wants me to take a look at her?”

“Yes,” Momo sighed. “Just in case you can see something. We ruled out magic a long time ago, of course. Numerous detection spells have been performed before and nothing’s there. Now that we’ve learned that there were things—that there’s magic that could remain undetected, though…” she trailed off. 

She was probably referring to the rotting. She was definitely referring to the rotting; after all, Felix could see it, Byeol could sense it, but Hayeon’s spell detected nothing. Across the Kingdom, none of the spells detected anything. 

“The thing you need to understand about the Queen’s illness, is that it does not make sense. Nothing about it makes sense. They suspected poisoning, at the beginning, but there’s nothing in her bloodstream. Her body is… she’s physically fine, but she’s not,” she explained, pausing to bite the insides of her cheeks in frustration. “It’s like… her body is weakened for no reason.”

“That’s…” Felix frowned, trying to wrap his head around it. “Strange.”

Momo let out a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, I’d say it is,” she agreed. “Listen, Felix… We think it might be a curse.”

Felix’s heart dropped. A curse? Like him?

“The fact that you can see something while we can’t detect anything changes everything,” Momo went on. “That includes the Queen’s condition. We suspected magic, we detected nothing; we suspected curses and performed purifying rituals, but nothing changed. As far as we knew, that meant it wasn’t either of them, but now that we know there are things purifying rituals can’t purify and detection magic can’t detect…”

That meant it could still be magic, it could still be a curse. 

Swallowing heavily, Felix asked, “But who would—why would they target the Queen?”

Why not the King? 

Not that he thought the Queen was less important or anything, but Felix knew that the King was the Heir to the crown, while the Queen married into the family. Seungmin told him before that when it came to royal duties and decisions, while the reigning Kings and Queens worked together, whoever was the heir to the crown by blood always had slightly bigger influence, power, and the like. 

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Momo replied unhelpfully. Felix supposed it was fair, though, because the whole situation was baffling. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it. The King wants you to take a look at her, see if you can see anything; traces of magic, curses… Since curses are magic, theoretically, if someone is actively affected by one, it should be visible to you… I think. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure, I’ve told you before that not much is known about curses, and your gift of sight is pretty much unheard of,” she shook her head slightly. “You said that your family is cursed, you included, can you see anything on you?”

Felix froze at the question.

He never thought of curses as magic, not really, which was stupid of him. If curses were magic, and he could see magic, then theoretically, he should be able to see them on him. But he knew there was nothing, he’d never seen anything.

“No…”

Surprisingly, Momo simply nodded like she was expecting it. “That’s okay. I can’t see my own life force, either.”

That was surprising. He didn’t know that. 

The Court Mage’s expression turned a little bit anxious as she spoke again. “But you said it affected your family, yes?” she asked, voice soft and careful. “Your bloodline. Do you… Did you ever see anything on your parents?” 

Eyes widening at the realization, Felix practically stopped breathing for a second. 

Did he ever see anything on his parents? 

His father he never saw, but his mother… Did he see anything on her? He didn’t think he did, he’d definitely notice if there was anything, and he’d have asked her what it was. No, his mother looked just like everyone else, no traces of magic or anything around her. 

“I don’t think so, no,” he muttered. 

“I see…” Momo said, brow furrowed contemplatively. Fortunately, she didn’t question him further because he didn’t really feel like talking about his mother with her. “You should have a look at the Queen, regardless. I’ll let you know when the King wants you to come. Please keep this to yourself.”

His stomach dropped. “I can’t tell Seungmin?” 

The Court Mage took a moment before answering. “The King does not want anyone to know.”

Yeah, well, Felix got that. He even agreed to keep the whole poisoning attempt thing from his friends, because he could understand how the King was just trying to keep them safe and away from the mess to some extent. 

But this was about Seungmin’s mother. 

Someone who meant a lot to him, the one person Seungmin constantly worried about. 

“Anyone, as in, his son—“

“Felix,” Momo cut him off, tone warning. “The King does not want anyone to know.”

Something unpleasant started swirling in his stomach, and as the silence fell upon them, he realized that was because he genuinely didn’t want to keep this from Seungmin. Sure, he realized that he didn’t have the right to be upset, not when he himself was already keeping a few things from Seungmin and everyone else, but maybe that was exactly why.

Maybe Felix was tired of secrets, he was overwhelmed by secrets. He didn’t want—he did not have the mental capacity for another one. 

“But—“

The look Momo sent him was sharp, and if he didn’t know better he’d have thought that she’d done a silencing spell on him or something.

 

“You’re an idiot,” Siwoo said bluntly, forcefully pulling Felix’s attention back to the present. 

He didn’t expect Siwoo to suddenly turn into a gentle fairy godmother or something, but he expected his friend to take him seriously, at the very least.  

“You know what, forget it,” Felix pouted. “I don’t know why I told you, I knew you’re just going to make fun of—“

“No, I’m being serious. You’re an idiot,” Siwoo repeated, weirdly sincere. 

“Yeah, I know, you’re always serious when you’re calling me an idiot.”

“No, I mean you’re actually being an idiot right now. Not that you’re not one on a daily basis, but you’re being even more of an idiot right now.”

“If you call me an idiot one more time, I might just lose it.”

Siwoo simply rolled his eyes, like he thought that Felix’s threat wasn’t particularly threatening. “You said it yourself, dumbass. It’s important and he’d want to know.”

Felix stared at him mutely, half-surprised to find that Siwoo was taking him seriously and hating the way that one sentence made him feel.

“Why do you think he’d want to know?” His friend prompted.

Because he cares, Felix answered in his mind. Because it’s his mother. Because he loves her. 

Because he had the right to know. 

Felix knew how much Seungmin loved his mother, how he felt about everything. He knew that everything reminded him of her, from the vegetables on his plate to the old storybooks to his father. He knew that Seungmin wrote her a letter every single week even though he wanted to send one every day, or at least every other day. 

Felix knew that he tried his best not to expect any reply, but he always hoped for one anyway. 

He knew that Seungmin ordered the staff to always purchase new medical books; to gather reports, and findings that had just come out, and that he always made time to read a few pages every single day in hopes of finding something, anything that could help her even though he didn’t know enough to know what to look for. 

Felix also knew that Seungmin wanted to confront his father about her, he wanted the King to be straight with him, but a part of him was terrified to ask, terrified of the answer. 

He knew that if he did this behind Seungmin’s back, and if one day, he found out, he would be hurt by it. Maybe he’d even hate him. 

Maybe he’d never forgive him.

“You’re right,” he muttered, realizing that he’d stayed silent for too long. “I guess I am an idiot.”

For a moment, they both stood there wordlessly. And then, Siwoo spoke, “Don’t agree with me,” he complained gruffly. “It makes me want to disagree with you, which is mental because we both know I’ve always thought you’re an idiot.”

Felix gave him an unimpressed look. “You know that I know you well enough to understand that when you call me an idiot, it’s just your weird way of saying that you love me, right?”

Siwoo made a disgusted face as he mock-gagged. “Something is seriously wrong with your head.”

Felix had never seen Siwoo that disgusted, that disturbed. An idea started forming in his mind. 

“Aww, our Siwoo is the sweetest,” Felix cooed in a sickly sweet voice as he shuffled closer. “Come here, let’s hug it out.”

The expression on Siwoo’s face was so priceless that Felix almost laughed out loud. “Don’t step any closer if you don’t want to lose your fingers. Or a limb.”

Felix ignored the threat completely, stepping forward and spreading his arms to hug—to attempt to hug Siwoo, who now looked absolutely horrified. 

Siwoo slapped his arms away. Felix remained unphased. 

“C’mon, don’t be shy,” Felix said, batting his eyelashes to provoke Siwoo further.

“You fucker.”

As expected, instead of hugging, they ended up wrestling. Kinda. 

Felix tried to wrap his arms around Siwoo while his friend semi-aggressively pushed him away. 

Siwoo was stronger than he anticipated, he belatedly realized. Around them, a few stuff fell to the ground, knocked by accident. 

“Boys!” Mrs. Jang’s voice rang from upstairs. “Are you fighting? No fights allowed in this house!”

Siwoo grunted, and then he pulled away slightly to shout, “Felix’s gone nuts, ‘Ma!”

For a moment, there was silence. And then, they could hear footsteps on the stairs before Mrs. Jang’s head peeked out. 

The both of them immediately jumped back from each other, stopping the impromptu wrestling match they just started. 

Mrs. Jang narrowed her eyes at them, before she turned her whole attention to her son. “Jang Siwoo! Be nice,” she reprimanded, voice stern. 

Siwoo gaped at her in disbelief. Felix snickered at him, and at the sound of it, Siwoo’s head snapped back towards him so quickly, glaring fiercely. 

“Felix, dear, are you going to stay for dinner?” Mrs. Jang asked sweetly.

Now Siwoo looked rather mad.  

“I would love to stay for dinner, Ma’am,” Felix replied just as sweetly, and he meant every word. Yeah, he didn’t tell anyone he was going to come home late today, but that was because he didn’t know he was going to come home late. He should’ve suspected that Mrs. Jang would invite him to have dinner with them, it had been a while since he last visited, after all. 

He’d very much like to have dinner with them. He needed to have dinner with them, his body ached for dinner—an actual, normal dinner at a friend’s house. 

He quietly decided that it shouldn’t be much of a problem. 

It’s not like his friends didn’t know he sometimes stayed to eat dinner with the Jangs. The moment they realized he wasn’t home by dinner time, they’d figure it out. Plus, he could finish his dinner quickly and run back to the library. Hopefully Seonho hyung—the guard who went with him today—wouldn’t mind waiting a little longer.

Felix made a mental promise to make it up to him. Maybe he could help him with a chore.

“Wonderful,” Mrs. Jang said with a satisfied smile. She leveled Siwoo with another warning look, “Be nice,” she said, before she disappeared back upstairs. 

Felix tried, and failed, to suppress the urge to smile; so when his gaze met Siwoo’s, he smiled smugly at him.

“You’re right,” his friend grumbled moodily. “I wonder why we’re friends.”

Oh, please. 

“Because you love me,” Felix remarked, moving quick enough to dodge the quill Siwoo threw at him, smiling in triumph. Siwoo’s expression soured, looking like the fact that Felix managed to dodge it offended him greatly. “Because you think I’m an idiot who’d get myself killed the moment no one’s looking.”

“I do think that you’d get yourself killed over something stupid because you’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

Rude. 

“I don’t know if you realize, but I’ve survived just fine the past twenty-plus years of my life.”

“The fates must’ve been working overtime,” Siwoo deadpanned. 

That was ridiculous. Felix spent his whole life safely hidden in the forest, there was no danger around, despite what people believed. The fates didn’t have to work at all to keep him alive. That was, if they even wanted to keep him alive. 

Felix groaned. “Everyone’s trust in my self-preservation instinct is really giving me a boost of confidence.”

Siwoo simply smirked at him before he fully processed the words, expression shifting into something different. “Wait, what do you mean everyone?”

Shit.

Felix might’ve said the wrong thing. He might’ve said the worst thing he could ever say to Siwoo.

“Someone else agrees with me?” Siwoo pressed, and at Felix’s lack of answer he barked out a laugh—it was loud and it was annoying, because he was laughing at him, basking at the fact that someone else shared the same opinion. “I knew it! Who’s it? Ya gotta introduce me to them. We’re gonna bond so quickly over your stellar ability to stay out of trouble.”

“Rude!”

“Boys!” Mrs. Jang called out. She came all the way down this time, pausing to give both of them a warning look. “Go on and close the shop. I’ll get dinner started.”

“Okay, ‘Ma.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Instead of making her way to the kitchen, though, she stayed and stared at them until they both started moving; Siwoo tidied up parchments that were scattered on the counter, while Felix picked random parts from the floor—the ones they accidentally knocked when they were wrestling each other. 

He could hear the way Mrs. Jang’s footsteps grew fainter as she made her way to the kitchen. 

Felix briefly thought that Siwoo would make a move to resume their banter, his friend kept his focus on the task at hand, so he did the same. 

They spent the next few minutes working in silence before Siwoo finally spoke. 

“By the way,” he began, voice light. Felix glanced at him only to find that his friend wasn’t looking at him, he kept his attention on the stack of parchment he was organizing. “You said that this is your first time in the capital, right?”

Felix paused, hands hovering midair as he was in the middle of grabbing and organizing the tools scattered on the counter. That kinda came out of nowhere. “Yeah?”

“So you’ve never been here before, right?”

“Yes?”

Siwoo huffed, finally looking up from what he was doing to meet Felix’s gaze. “You don’t sound sure.”

“I’m sure,” Felix replied, scrunching his nose slightly in confusion. “I just can’t understand why you’re suddenly asking me that?”

His friend regarded him for a moment before he let out a quiet sigh. “Nothing,” he said, redirecting his attention back to the parchment he was holding. “I just wanted to be sure.”

Well, that was cryptic at best. Felix opened his mouth to say just that, and maybe to push Siwoo into giving him an actual answer, but Mrs. Jang’s voice stopped him from doing so. 

“We’re out of eggs!” she called out from the kitchen. “Siwoo-yah, be a dear and buy some.”

Felix perked up, excited at the prospect of helping, of contributing more, because that always made him feel happier. “I can do it Mrs—”

Before he could finish his sentence, parchments were being shoved at him. 

“Stay,” Siwoo muttered sharply, before turning around and raising his voice to reply to his mother. “Okay ‘Ma!”

Felix gave him an affronted look. “I can—”

“We need eggs,” Siwoo stated. He quickly opened the drawer and took a small pouch of money before making his way towards the front door. “If we send you to get it, we won’t be getting any eggs, just headaches,” and then without sparing Felix a glance, he left.

Arms full of parchments, Felix wasn’t physically able to throw his arms in disbelief, but he was definitely doing it with his imaginary arms. 

The audacity. 

He couldn’t even figure out why Siwoo’s this bad, his friend didn’t know about his accidental encounter with the cult or whatever; and other than that first time they met, he never gave Siwoo any reason to doubt his capabilities. 

Right? 

Maybe his friend was just unreasonable like that. 

Deciding that there was nothing he could do about it—Felix carried on with the task at hand; organizing the parchments into a few neat stacks, putting everything in place and wiping the counter squeaky clean before he went to cover the windows and flip the shop sign. He was glad that all the time he spent following Siwoo around as he manned the shop and hanging around as customers came didn’t go to waste as he knew where most things go. He was kinda winging the rest, but he was sure that it wouldn’t be a problem. Siwoo could sort them himself later.

It didn’t take his friend long to return with a basket full of eggs. Felix followed him as he went into the kitchen to hand it to his mother, earning himself a thanks, sweetie accompanied by a grateful smile, which he replied with a small grunt of your welcome .

As always, Felix’s offer to help was dismissed firmly, so the two of them spent the next hour or so lounging in Siwoo’s room.

Felix brought up the chain he found lying around when he was tidying up earlier. He thought of something he could do with it, so he asked Siwoo if he could buy it from him. His friend raised his eyebrows and asked him to show it to him, so they both went downstairs and Felix did just that. 

Siwoo told him he could have it, since they had no use for it and they just had it lying around.

Felix tried insisting to no success. He mentally promised to bring something the next time he came over. Maybe he could bake something for the Jangs to show his thanks.

Dinner was amazing. 

Mrs. Jang’s cooking never disappointed, and Felix was content to sit there and listen to Mr. and Mrs. Jang talking about the new rival shop that recently opened a few blocks away, with Siwoo grunting in agreement once in a while. They talked about clocks and clock parts and honestly, Felix didn’t understand most of it, but he didn’t mind. 

He spoke whenever Mrs. Jang addressed him, contributing in nods and hums when the family started discussing the increasing prices of groceries, hoping that the anxiety he was feeling didn’t really show on his face. 

Felix totally forgot about that. He should’ve declined the offer for dinner, because now he was one extra mouth to feed. 

He knew that the family didn’t mind, they weren’t poor by any means, and they were simply complaining about the circumstance as they discussed the rumors they’d heard, how the farmers were saying that they didn’t have much hope for the next harvest. It wasn’t in any way targeted towards Felix and his decision to trouble them into feeding him dinner; but still. He felt guilty. Guilty and worried, because he more or less knew more about what was causing the whole food problem. 

When they all finished, Felix strongly insisted that he do the dishes and did not back off when his offer was declined, so he ended up triumphantly washing the dishes, Siwoo helping him with the drying.

He profusely thanked Mr. and Mrs. Jang after dinner—they waved him off and Mrs. Jang made him promise to visit again soon—and bid his goodbyes with them. As it was time to make his way back home, his mind drifted towards the last time he was here, towards the weird group; the cult-like group he stumbled into. 

Once again, he wondered what it was about. He wondered if any of the members were people he’d met on the streets before. 

He was lucky that strange lady decided to help him out and lent him the cloak and the mask. 

Felix suddenly wondered if Siwoo knew anything about it; about the cult. He was a local, he had lived here his entire life. Maybe he’d heard something.

Something in the back of his mind nagged at him, and then, he remembered. Didn’t Siwoo mention something about sightings of suspicious people before? Felix was quite sure he did. Maybe they had something to do with the cult. 

Maybe they were the cult. 

He was waiting as Siwoo reorganized the stack of parchments Felix tidied up earlier, because he definitely didn’t know enough to do it perfectly right. 

“Say, didn’t you mention something about sightings of suspicious people before?” Felix curiously questioned. “What was that about?”

His friend went eerily quiet at that, freezing for a moment before he resumed what he was doing.

“I dunno,” Siwoo muttered with a half-hearted shrug. “I heard rumors. There are people going around trying to scam others.”

“ …Scam others?” 

Siwoo finally looked up to catch Felix’s eyes, expression dead serious. “Do me a favor and promise you’ll stay away from that kind of thing,” he said. “Whatever they’re offering, it’s just a bunch of bullshit, alright? If you’re ever approached by anyone just tell them you’re not interested. Ya hear me?”

That sounded horribly specific. 

Was that how the cult recruited people? They approach random people and offer… what? Mysterious gatherings where people get to sing and dance together? 

“Okay?” Felix replied, head slightly cocked to the side. “Why do you… Have you been approached before?” 

Instead of answering his question, Siwoo redirected his gaze towards one of the clocks they had hanging in the store—he was practically glaring at it. “This isn’t Duskwood, Felix,” he said cryptically. “Ya need to remember that. Life’s different here, and so are the people. You can’t go around thinking everyone means well.” 

Minho told him that cults are basically weird people thinking and doing weird things, and they might potentially be dangerous because said things are usually borderline crazy, too. 

And much like Siwoo, Minho seemed to think that they were up to no good. 

He couldn’t exactly see how singing and dancing together in the basement was dangerous, but he didn’t really want to argue with Minho. He had a feeling that it wouldn’t have gone well if he did. 

Siwoo worked quickly and efficiently, and right after he was done, he declared that he’d walk with him to the library, mumbling something about letting his parents know and completely ignoring Felix’s protests before disappearing into the second floor. 

Shaking his head in disbelief, Felix decided to leave before Siwoo came back. There was no arguing with his friend once he’d made up his mind, but if Felix was already gone, there was nothing he could do about it. 

He took a deep breath as he quietly slipped outside—wincing at the sound the bells made when he opened the front door; hopefully Siwoo didn’t hear that —inhaling the breezy night air. 

Just as he was about to make his way back, he hesitated. There was something he couldn't put, something that was out of place. 

The streets were strangely quiet and deserted today. 

The Jangs’ shop was located around other shops, the streets were practically full of different kinds of shops and some of them were usually open until quite late at night, so it was never this quiet. 

He glanced in the opposite direction of where he was supposed to be going, there was just something that pulled his attention that way. 

Suddenly there was a blur in front of him, and it took Felix a moment to realize that it was a butterfly. There was something familiar about it, but he couldn’t figure out what. 

There was something familiar and enchanting about the butterfly, and somehow, Felix felt like he was supposed to follow it. 

He took a step towards it without realizing, following it in a daze, but before he could go far, someone grabbed his arm rather roughly, jolting him out of his trance. 

“Where are you going?” It was Siwoo, and he now had a scowl on his face. “The library is that way.”

Blinking owlishly as the last bit of whatever trance he was in disappeared, Felix answered. “Uh… yeah. I just—never mind.”

Siwoo stared at him, there was something calculating about the way he did. “C’mon,” he said eventually. “I’ll walk you there.”

Felix wanted to protest, he really did. But maybe this time, he’d go along with it. 

After all, he could still feel a faint tug deep in his gut, and maybe, even though he felt like he should follow it, the rational part of his mind was telling him that it might not be the greatest idea. He was late, and his friends were always worried that he'd do something stupid and get himself hurt—which was ridiculous—but he was convinced that they would all agree that following the tug would classify as just that. 

He should definitely get home fast before everyone loses their collective minds. 

The two friends made their way to the library, through the dimly lit and strangely quiet streets, leaving the gentle tug of the night behind. 

 

---

 

The past few days felt both excruciatingly long and impossibly short for Jisung. 

He had tagged along with Felix yesterday, when he went to visit Goldencrest to work with the mages. Honestly, Jisung never thought much about magic before, it was just something he wasn’t interested in. 

He wasn’t entirely sure if he believed that the whole issue with the forest was a magical one—Seungmin was convinced that it wasn’t, not really. He seemed to believe that there was a logical explanation to it, they just haven’t found one. 

Seungmin’s skeptical view on magic wasn’t exactly a secret. 

After all, at his coming-of-age ceremony where they also celebrated their official relocation to Silvercrest, he had blatantly refused to choose and appoint a Court Mage, claiming that it was unnecessary. 

Jisung could see how much the King wanted to disagree, but he refrained from it out of respect for his son. 

But yeah, that happened. Every month or so, the Royal Advisor would pay them a visit and ask them to reconsider, which was always answered in negative by Seungmin—fully backed by Minho. 

The rest of them were mostly neutral about it, so no one argued. Chan did at first; if Jisung had to guess, his father definitely had a hand in that. Maybe he expressed his disagreement with their decision or something, but after a few months, Chan stopped trying. 

That wasn’t like him at all, so Jisung was convinced that Chan only argued because his father wanted it for them, not because he personally believed that they needed a Court Mage. 

That day, he found himself standing in front of his father’s study in Goldencrest. Felix had gone to see the mages, and Jisung told him that he wanted to go home together, so Felix promised that he’d come find him once he was done. 

Jisung knocked on the door and waited. 

It took a while for the door to swing open, revealing his father who looked worse for wear. His eyes looked gaunt, with dark circles underneath them. 

He seemed genuinely surprised to see Jisung. 

They hadn’t seen each other in a while, not with the lockdowns. Sure, Jisung saw him at the banquet, exchanging brief greetings, and he saw him again after the banquet, but both were in passing. Now that they knew more about what was happening with the forest, with the walls, Jisung supposed he could understand why his father looked like he was a few seconds away from a mental breakdown. 

“Hello, Father,” he greeted with a smile. 

“Jisung,” his father breathed, stepping back and gesturing for him to come in. Jisung did just that, hearing the click of the door closing behind him. 

His father made his way back to his chair. Jisung watched his back, wondering when his father’s back stopped looking so big and sturdy. He wondered when it started looking small, weary. 

“Mother mentioned that you’ve been busy lately,” Jisung mentioned, trying to keep his tone light. 

His mother had been there at the banquet, of course, and she came over to greet his soulmates, so Jisung got to meet her. 

“How have you been doing?” she asked that evening, tone detached like she didn’t actually care to know the answer, she was just making conversation. But there was something else there—her stare was burning hot; eyes scrutinizing, judging, there was a glint of something unpleasant in them. Maybe it was a little pathetic that even though Jisung had known her his whole life, he still couldn’t get used to it, to the way his mother looked at him.

“I’ve been doing well, Mother.”

“Good,” she said, like she expected nothing less, because she did. He always had to be well enough in her eyes. “Your father has been very busy lately. I haven't seen him in almost a week.”

“Oh…” Jisung muttered, unsure how to react. He shifted his gaze away as he awkwardly fiddled with his fingers, hoping that the floor could swallow him whole.

He didn’t need to look at her to sense the look of disapproval she was sending his way.

“I'd have to say, Heir Seok is a fine man,” his mother commented, and when Jisung raised his head to look at her, she redirected her attention to where Seok Hyunwoo was chatting with a random noble, hand resting around Felix’s lower back, which really didn't help with Jisung’s steadily souring mood. “Your father told me that he assists his father with all kinds of matters. It’s not surprising that he’s been appointed as the Heir of the family,” she then turned to him, and Jisung could see it—the unspoken unlike you. He could feel it, the way she was comparing him to Seok Hyunwoo, just like the way she always compared him to everyone else.

“It’s good to see you, Mrs. Han,” Chan swooped in smoothly, a practiced smile on his face. Jisung’s mother turned her attention to him, and the effect was immediate. It was suddenly a lot easier to breathe, to exist. “I’m afraid we need to get going soon, the King has requested us to greet all of the Greater Noble Families, at the very least.”

“Of course,” his mother gave him an understanding smile—something Jisung had never received from her—as she took a step back. “Have a good evening, Your Highnesses,” she added pleasantly, but just before she turned away to leave, her eyes found Jisung again, and suddenly Jisung wasn’t there at the Seok Family Estate—he was back home, sitting in front of the piano. There was a vice-like grip on his shoulder, so firm and unrelenting that it hurt. You need to practice more, do better, he could hear her voice again. I expected more of you.

She always expected more of him, wanted more of him. He gave, and gave, and gave, and it was never enough even though he had lost himself in the process.

“Jisung-ah,” a voice, quiet and kind and void of impossible expectations called out, and Jisung was back in the present; realizing that he had been staring at Seungmin blankly. His mother was gone, nowhere to be seen. Seungmin squeezed his arm gently, and there was understanding in his eyes; Jisung could hear the silent question, are you alright?  

Jisung steadied himself as he took a deep breath. 

He couldn’t crumble here, in front of dozens of strangers who’d be absolutely delighted to witness the whole spectacle. He forced his mind to focus on the present, and he let himself remember, his mind latching to the closest, recent bright spot in the cruel sea of his memories, basking in the warmth that slowly, but steadily, overcame the waves of self-deprecation that was brought by his mother. 

 

“He’s amazing, right?” Felix turned to Jeongin, there was a grin on his face and expectation in his eyes. 

Jeongin nodded. “That sounded beautiful, hyung,” he said, looking genuinely impressed.

Jisung flushed. “It’s nothing special.” 

Felix turned to Jeongin, widening his eyes like he was saying, can you believe this guy? “He taught me a short, easy song and it took me so long to get it right,” he pointed out. “You’re amazing, take the compliment.”

Jisung let out a breathy laugh. “Okay, Lix. Thank you.”

Felix beamed at him, and for a second he was the sun and Jisung was a sunflower; helplessly drawn to its radiance and warmth that nothing else seemed to matter. 

“Could you maybe teach me, too, sometimes?” Jeongin asked, and Jisung’s whole chest was so full that he might’ve agreed a little too excitedly. 

Jeongin turned out to be an excellent student. Not that Felix wasn’t one, but he picked up things quicker than Felix did, he was a natural. 

And Jisung…

Jisung was happy, he was happy for him, but there was always that small part of him, the side that he tried to bury so deeply that no one would ever find it; the part of him that constantly felt inferior to everyone else, because Jeongin just proved it again—how he was nothing special, how he should have been able to do better, be better. 

His dull smile was contrasted by Felix’s excited gushing, and maybe Jisung wished he could just disappear for a second until he stopped feeling so silly.

“You guys are so amazing,” Felix smiled as he let out a soft sigh. “It took me so long to get it right and you learned it just like that? What are you, a prodigy or something?” 

Jeongin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling fondly at the older. “You’re being dramatic, hyung. It’s just a simple song.”

Stupidly, like a broken record, his mind brought a distant memory to the forefront of his thoughts. 

“The Jeon kid started learning three months ago, but his progress is baffling,” his mother said one night at dinner. “He picks up on things so quickly, and his technique is impeccable. It would be fitting to call him a prodigy,” she added. She eyed Jisung for a second before she returned her attention back to her food, and Jisung heard it loud and clear. The unspoken ‘unlike you’, loud and clear. 

Felix huffed, and for a second, Jisung was yanked back from the unpleasant memory. “A simple song that took me days to get right,” he pointed out, pouting. “Tell him, Sungie.”

“You both did very well,” Jisung said placatingly. “But Felix’s right, Jeongin. You’re a natural.”

Jeongin seemed surprised at that, which was weird. It took him barely an hour to get the song right, surely he realized that he was a natural. 

Suddenly, Jisung felt sick. 

This was something he’d always been sensitive about, he knew it; his mates knew it, but it slammed into him full-force then—Jisung was an insecure, bitter, and unpleasant person, because how could the triumph of others make him feel horrible? Why couldn’t he just be glad, like Felix was? 

“You guys are so amazing,” Felix repeated, interrupting Jisung’s line of thought. His eyes darted between the two of them before they lit up with something else. “Hey, is there any song that can be played by like, two people?”

Jisung blinked, puzzled by the sudden question. “You mean like a duet?”

“A duet,” Felix repeated, sounding amazed already. “Yeah, that.”

“Of course.”

“Yeah?” Felix asked. “Maybe you can both learn one so that you can play together! Oh fates, that sounds like fun, would you guys do it? I’m sure—I know it’s going to be amazing because you’re both amazing, and if you play this duet thing, you can be amazing together! It’ll be like, double amazing,” he said, words spilling from his lips without any breaks and eyes practically twinkling—and Jisung knew that he was totally hyped by the idea already. 

Jisung let out a surprised laugh, “Double amazing?”

Scrunching his nose endearingly at the teasing tone, Felix replied, “You know what I meant.”

“Well,” Jisung grinned. “Maybe we could give it a try.”

Felix’s entire face lit up like he just won the lottery, turning to see what Jeongin thought like an excited puppy. 

“Sure,” Jeongin said, because how could he say anything else? “Sounds fun.”

It was then Jisung realized that the unpleasant feeling he had, had completely disappeared. Now he felt… alright, content. Maybe even a little excited to learn a song together with Jeongin.

The smile that bloomed on Jisung’s face was genuine and carefree.

‘Thank you,’ he didn’t say, but he hoped Felix got it, anyway. 

“What?” Felix asked, returning the smile but tilting his head in confusion.

“Nothing,” Jisung said quietly, eyes softening as his smile grew. “You’re right, I think it’ll be fun.”

 

Thinking back on the memory was enough to help Jisung feel better, to help him bury the unpleasant thoughts his mother had managed to revive, and he was thankful for it. 

He gave Seungmin a small but firm nod. His mate regarded him carefully, before deciding that Jisung was indeed, alright, or as alright as he could be.

The rest of the evening wasn’t all that great, but at least Jisung didn’t get to see his mother again, which was a blessing. A short interaction with his mother was usually enough to make him feel like shit for at least a good, full day, so Jisung was glad that he somehow managed to shake it off that night.

“You know how it is,” his father’s tired voice brought him back to the present. “So many things to do, and never enough time.”

Jisung gave him a sympathetic smile. “We’ll figure something out, Father. Minho hyung has been sending letters to Mrs. Lee, and she’s working with her colleagues to find a solution,” he informed him, pausing before adding, “Seungmin said that just because the issue is… believed to be magical, doesn’t mean the solution could only be magical.”

There was something Jisung couldn’t place in his father’s expression, even though his lips were pulled into a small smile. “Of course,” he agreed. “We’ll find a solution. I’m sure of it.”

The father and son stood in silence for a little while before it evidently became too much. 

His father cleared his throat. “How are things going back home? Are you getting along well with Jeongin?” 

“Oh, um. Yeah,” Jisung replied, secretly glad that they were having this conversation now instead of when Jeongin first arrived, because they certainly weren’t getting along well at all back then. “It’s all good.”

“He’s settling in well?”

“As well as he could. It’s… quite a significant change for him, after all.”

“I’m sure it is,” his father commented, suddenly looking a little distracted. “Jisung. You boys need to take care of each other, you hear me? Remember to watch—to have each others’ backs.”

That was weird and unsettling at best. 

It wasn’t as if his father never cared about his relationship with his soulmates; quite the contrary, he always made sure to ask how everyone was doing whenever they got to spend some time together like this, but Jisung was sure that his father never said anything like this. 

“Of course, Father,” he said placatingly despite the confusion he felt. He wondered why his father said that—should he ask? He should probably ask, it would probably be fine for him to ask—

“Now tell me about the banquet,” his father said before Jisung could question him. “Did you speak with the Kangs?”

Of course his father would ask about the Kangs. 

The last time they attended something like this, Kang  Deokwon had approached him when he somehow managed to lose his mates to the crowd, and he was a surprisingly pleasant guy. They didn’t get to talk for that long because Changbin found him soon after, but Jisung thought that Deokwon was nicer than he initially thought, and it seemed like he genuinely wanted to be friends with him, so he ended up mentioning it to his father when he visited. 

He ended up pretty much recounting his evening—save the part with his mother. Of course, he also spared the details of his observation on Felix’s night, because he had, quite helplessly, searched for him in the gaps of the conversations, whenever he realized his friend had moved from his last spot. 

Jisung still couldn't believe Felix managed to be friends with Seok Hyunwoo and Kwon Kyuseok of all people, which meant that he was somehow friends with two Heir candidates—in Seok Hyunwoo’s case, he was no longer a mere candidate, but he’s an actual Heir—of the Twelve. 

That was more connection than Jisung had in the inner circle, and one of his soulmates was the son of the Hwang family. 

Hyunjin himself used to be one of the candidates, but he turned out to be their soulmate, which meant that he was now the Heir to the Crown itself, so he was no longer one to his family. 

His father had places to be and things to do, so after an hour or so, Jisung bid his goodbye and decided to try and find Felix. Apparently, he wasn’t done with whatever he needed to do, and Jisung didn’t want to distract him, so he ended up taking a nap in their old quarters.

He was roused from his sleep by Felix, who quickly apologized for waking him up and for making him wait, insisting that he shouldn’t have waited for him. 

“I wanted to wait for you,” Jisung mumbled drowsily.

Felix huffed, but his lips were pulled into a fond smile. “C’mon, let’s go home,” he said as he coaxed Jisung to get up. “The hyungs are gonna freak out if we’re late.”

Jisung grumbled but didn’t protest.

He was honestly, still not entirely awake then, but he was conscious enough to notice that Felix was now holding him by the wrist, gently tugging and leading him through the hallways. 

Maybe it was the pleasant haze he had fogging his mind, so he moved without thinking, pulling away just enough from Felix’s grip and then swiftly sliding his hand into Felix’s, so that they were holding hands instead.

Judging from the lack of reaction, his friend either didn’t mind or didn’t notice, and Jisung was still too sleepy to overthink it. 

He was floaty and giddy as they made their way to the front door; and if Jisung couldn’t hear the noises the royal guards made as they trailed behind them, he’d have been convinced that he was still dreaming or something.

Just as they reached the front door, he drunkenly wished that they could just walk home instead of taking the carriage, which was completely mental because Jisung hated all kinds of physical activities when he’s sleepy. 

They reached the carriage, and Felix stepped aside to let Jisung get on first. To his dismay, they were no longer holding hands. 

Jisung climbed into the carriage, the slight pout that had started to form slowly melting into something else as he felt more awake by the second, and oh fates did he just —

“You good?” Felix asked as he took the seat across Jisung, the carriage door closing with a click. 

“Yeah, good, I’m, yes,” Jisung replied brilliantly.

Felix raised his eyebrows, but accepted his answer. “You can sleep some more if you’re still sleepy, Sungie,” he smiled reassuringly. “I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

“Okay,” Jisung said dumbly, because he was feeling rather embarrassed and he didn’t know how to handle it. “Thanks.”

He supposed it was better for him to sleep than act like an idiot. He felt jittery and the possibility of him falling asleep was low, he knew that, but he shut his eyes and forced himself to relax. 

It did not work. 

Instead, Jisung could feel heat slowly crawling up his neck, because he was literally pretending to fall asleep right now. Torn between committing to it or giving up entirely, Jisung cracked his eyes open the slightest bit to check what Felix was doing.

Felix wasn’t even looking at him—to his relief? dismay?—he was distractedly staring at the window to his side, seemingly deep in thought. 

He seemed… serious. Like there was something seriously bugging him, and Jisung’s little dilemma suddenly didn’t feel all that important. Was everything okay? Did something happen with the mages? He wanted to ask, but something told him that the last thing Felix needed was questions, so Jisung opted to stay quiet. 

Instead, he watched.

He watched the way Felix chewed on his lower lip; he watched the way the corners of his lips were slowly pulled into a frown, the way he sighed softly every few minutes. He didn’t even realize that Jisung had been staring at him.

Something was clearly bugging him and Jisung wished he could erase whatever it was from existence. 

Jisung mulled over what to ask, what to say, to no success. Just as he finally mustered enough courage to say something, to simply ask if everything’s alright, to see if Felix wanted to tell him about it, the carriage came to a stop. 

They’d arrived.

He spent too much time worrying about what to say that he lost the chance to say something. Fantastic. 

The sudden halt seemed to have snapped Felix out of his thoughts, blinking owlishly before his eyes finally flickered to Jisung. “I was just going to wake you up,” he said with a small smile when he noticed him awake. 

He was so distracted he really didn’t notice Jisung blatantly staring at him like a creep. Maybe Jisung should thank the fates or something.

“Thanks,” Jisung replied, because he wasn’t going to out himself like that. 

They made their way inside, immediately heading to the dining room because the guards informed them that everyone else was already there. Felix thanked them brightly, and Jisung belatedly realized that he couldn’t see any trace of whatever was bugging him anymore.

Even better, Felix acted like nothing happened, like Jisung did not grab his hand out of nowhere and intertwined their fingers without asking earlier. Fates, he wasn’t sure why he was freaking out about holding hands, but he was. Felix didn’t seem to share the sentiment, though, so that was good, right? That meant that he didn’t mind, right? 

One second he was freaking out silently, the next second he was losing his balance.

Jisung tripped over the air and his mind went blank like it always does whenever this sort of thing happened, but then he felt a hand on his arm, steadying him. 

“Sungie,” Felix giggled endearingly, giving his arm a small pat before letting go. “Do I have something on my face? You should look ahead when you’re walking.”

Jisung’s brain short-circuited for a second. 

The only thing his mind could muster was stupid, useless questions, but they were stuck to the forefront of his mind—bolded and underlined.

Was it okay for me to hold your hand? Was it fine? Can I do it again?

Cheeks flushing, Jisung muttered a sheepish sorry, eyes trained to the ground to make sure that he didn’t stumble over the air again because he was unconsciously staring at Felix instead of watching where he was going. 

Fates, he was such a loser. 

Dinner went smoothly as he told everyone about how his father was doing. Felix listened intently throughout and showed no signs of whatever distress he was in earlier. If Jisung hadn’t just spent the whole ride back home watching him sigh too many times, he’d have been convinced that his friend was alright. 

He spent the next day following Changbin around in a daze, lost as he replayed the way his father had turned serious out of nowhere, the words he said echoing in his mind like a broken record. 

Why would his father say that? 

Did he hear something? Something bad? It sounded like he was worried for Jisung and his mates, or maybe, it sounded like he was warning them? Of what, though?

Why would he say something so obvious, anyway? He knew how Jisung felt towards his mates, he knew how much they treasured each other; they’d always have each other’s back, it was a given. 

Should he ask? He should probably ask. He wanted to understand what his father meant before he went around to tell everyone else about it, because there was so much going on already, and they didn’t need to be bothered with anything else, especially when Jisung himself wasn’t entirely sure what his father was on about. 

He snuck back into his room after lunch to write him a letter, expressing his wish to visit him again. 

His father was busy, so Jisung knew that he probably wouldn’t be receiving any response today, but that was alright. He could be patient. 

Minho and Seungmin were already in their seats the moment Jisung arrived at the dining room, both immersed in their own worlds—Minho was furiously scribbling on a parchment while Seungmin’s lips were pulled into a scowl as he read the book in his hands, he always looked particularly agitated when he was reading something he couldn’t comprehend.

Arcane Foundations: The Principles of Magical Theory. 

Jisung eyed the book title with a grimace. No wonder Seungmin looked like he was debating whether to fling the book across the room or burn it right then and there. 

One by one, everyone filtered into the dining room, and Jisung let his mind drift. Felix was the only one who wasn’t there yet, he’d gone to visit his friend—Siwoo, that was the name he mentioned—today. 

Jisung didn’t get to ask what was bothering him just yet, maybe he’ll do it tonight, or tomorrow. He wondered if everything was alright with the noonas; did he learn something upsetting? Or was he, much like Seungmin, feeling clueless and frustrated because he couldn’t figure things out? 

The sound of Jeongin’s sighing brought him out of his thoughts. 

“It’s almost time for dinner,” Jeongin stated the obvious, legs bouncing in anxiety. “He isn’t back yet.”

Honestly, Jisung wasn’t a worrier. That might have something to do with how he was usually the cause of the worrying with his sneaking and disappearing acts. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know the dangers of the world, he simply thought that they were unlikely to happen. Both to him and Felix, because obviously he was much, much worse than Jisung. 

But maybe Jisung was starting to understand. 

A few weeks ago he’d snicker at Jeongin, who looked like a distressed wife waiting for her husband to come home. He’d poke fun at the way Chan was sitting tensely, the way his eyes strayed towards the clock every few minutes. Maybe he’d even risk his life and tease Minho about the way he was glaring at the parchment, because surprisingly enough his hyung had become the biggest worrywart of all. 

After Felix’s encounter with the cult, Jisung was starting to take the trio’s side. 

“Speaking of Felix,” Minho started, tone light as if he wasn’t just glaring like he wanted to burn the parchment just a second ago at the reminder that Felix wasn’t back yet. “I think we should just court him.”

Hyunjin, who was in the middle of drinking, started choking and hacking—sounding like the water went into his nose instead of his throat. 

Jeongin, who was sitting right beside him, was frozen for a moment before his eyes darted wildly between Minho and Hyunjin, like he couldn’t decide whether to continue being baffled at Minho’s absolutely mental suggestion or to comfort Hyunjin who was now wheezing. 

Jisung wasn’t sure what kind of expression he was sporting. It was almost as if his facial muscles were confused—unsure how to react. 

What the hell?

He felt a flash of anger at first, because what was Minho doing? Was he joking? He wondered, but he immediately realized that it was unlikely. His hyung was a menace on a daily basis, but he was also one of the most considerate people Jisung knew. There was no way he’d joke about something like this.  

He caught Chan’s eyes then, wide-blown and just as dumbfounded as Jisung felt, so maybe Minho really said what he said and Jisung wasn’t hearing things. 

Hyunjin, who was done wheezing, finally spoke, voice raspy. “Excuse me?”

“Court him?” Chan repeated in disbelief, like he was trying to make sure he heard Minho right. 

“Mm-hm,” Minho responded calmly without looking up as if he just suggested something exceptionally normal—like that they should have chicken for dinner and not that they should court a whole new person.

Jisung heard a quiet groan, and then he watched as Changbin dropped his head into his hands. 

“Did you perhaps hit your head somewhere?” Seungmin asked sharply, evidently not amused. 

Minho finally looked up then, raising his eyebrows at Seungmin as he stayed silent, like he was saying I said what I said. 

“Stop it, both of you,” Chan said firmly before things could escalate, turning to Minho. “This isn’t funny, Minho.”

Placing the quill he was holding beside the parchment, Minho crossed his arms. 

“Do you really think I’d joke about something like this, hyung?” He asked. Across him, Changbin dramatically facepalmed himself, which Minho ignored completely. “I’m serious. Besides, don’t we all like him?”

Jisung thought that was the understatement of the century. Jisung was head over heels, more like; he was smitten, he was steadily losing his mind, but he guessed the word like would work, too.

“That doesn’t mean we should just court him,” Seungmin retorted without missing a beat. 

Jisung noticed that he did not argue about the liking part. He had a feeling that Minho noticed it too.

“I like him,” Minho declared, surprising everyone, even Jisung. The older was staring right into Changbin’s eyes now, weirdly looking like he was challenging him or something. “And I want him to stay here, with us.”

There were a few beats of silence. 

And then, Chan spoke. “Wait a minute,” he said, sounding faint. “What do you mean we all like him?” he asked incredulously, looking around the table like he was looking for something. Whatever he was looking for, he—evidently—didn’t find. Jisung knew that because Chan blanched, leaning back onto his seat like he suddenly felt the need for support. “Oh.”

Jisung wondered what he saw on their faces, but he was too much of a coward to see it for himself.

The silence that fell upon the room was awkward, tense, and somehow miserable. For a moment, no one said anything, which was something. Seriously, between the six—the seven of them, there were more opinions than they knew what to do with, so this wasn’t a common occurrence. 

“Wait, did you just say that you like him?” Chan broke the silence with another question. Jisung didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that he was really having a hard time wrapping his head around what was going on. 

“Yes, I did,” Minho said like it wasn’t a big deal. Sometimes Jisung envied how unbothered his hyung could be; he wished he could be more like him. “Keep up, hyung.” 

Minho was trying to lighten up the mood, that much was clear. Whether it worked or not… well. 

“We can’t just randomly decide to court him,” Seungmin argued, teeth gritting in frustration. “He’s not our soulmate, and—“

“What are soulmates, anyway?” Minho asked tiredly without letting Seungmin finish his sentence. “We’re soulmates, sure, but you know just as well as I do that it guarantees nothing.”

That was… true.

They all knew it was true. 

For the longest time, Jisung thought that he’d never get along with Seungmin, it felt like he hated everything he did, even when Jisung was sincerely complimenting him. If someone told his sixteen-year-old self that he’d be in love with Kim Seungmin, and said love would be reciprocated, he’d drag them to the nearest mind healer because there was no way that could be true. 

For the longest time, he thought that they’d all be together except the two of them; that behind closed doors, Seungmin and him would be nothing more than two people the fates happened to—maybe even mistakenly—matched.

They’d stay together, of course they would, they were soulmates and that was what soulmates were supposed to do, but that was it. They’d stay together because they were supposed to; nothing more, nothing less. 

They experienced it firsthand, having a soulmate was like having the Fates marking a person for them; right here, this is your person! but what happened after…

What happened after was up to them.

Perhaps that was why flower boys and girls were popular amongst the upper class, amongst Nobles. In a lot of cases, there wasn’t much difference between a stranger and the person they were destined for, anyway, not unless they put in time and effort to get to know each other. Not unless they were willing to try. 

The willingness to try and put in effort weren’t exactly common virtues among the Nobles; they were all born with a silver spoon in their mouths, after all. 

A lot of them married each other and stayed together, simply because they thought they had to. Because soulmates were of the Fates, and they were too fearful of their wrath to dismiss them entirely.

One of the perks of being the soulmate of the Prince was that he got to grow up watching the upper class. Jisung got a front-row seat, he got to watch them judge others based on their soulmates, yet disregard their own as they visited the Flower Yard, where they could get their very own flower girls or boys; someone they actually desired, at least physically.

“Not all soulmates work, but we do, and it’s not because some random deity assigned us together,” Minho said, before he begrudgingly added, “Respectfully.”

Jisung held his breath unconsciously for a moment, afraid that thunder would strike and burn Minho to crisp.

Fortunately, that didn’t happen. 

“I’m not gonna do anything if anyone disagrees. Either all of us agree, or nothing,” Minho finished, and Jisung knew that it meant a lot coming from him, because he knew just as well as everyone else that even though Minho was a very laid-back person in general, he always had a clear vision on what he wanted for himself. 

Because when Lee Minho wants something, he gets it. 

“So if, and this is a big if; if we all agree to court him, what then?” Seungmin challenged. “What happens after? He’s not our soulmate, there’ll be an uproar. We’re—“

“No one has to know that he’s not.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened at Minho’s words, at what he implied, and Jisung strongly suspected that he was wearing a similar expression, too. 

That was a crazy idea, but it might work. It would work. There was no way to determine if two people were really soulmates, there was no way to prove it in front of other people. 

Fuck. His hyung was mental. He was a genius. 

“Hold on,” Jeongin said haltingly, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “What about hyung’s soulmate? What if… what if he finds them?” There was now fear in his voice, one that Jisung suddenly realized he shared. 

There was no way to prove that they weren’t soulmates… unless the real soulmate showed up and claimed that they were Felix’s. What do they do, then? If they were going to be consistent with the lie, then they’d have to claim that person as their soulmate, too, but then the person would know that they’re not actually soulmates because they wouldn’t be able to feel their pain.

Reality crashing down on them, Jisung could practically feel the temperature dropping.

“What brought this up, Min?” Chan questioned, voice quiet. “This is not exactly the time for this, whatever this is.“

As much as Jisung didn’t want to admit it, it was true. Chan had a point. This kind of came out of nowhere, and with all that had been going on lately, it wasn’t exactly the time for courting. 

Unconsciously, Jisung leaned forward in anticipation. He wondered what made Minho think that it was a good idea to bring this up now. 

Nothing could’ve prepared him for what Minho said in response, though. 

“His soulmate’s dead,” Minho’s voice was barely a whisper, his whole body tensing as the words left his lips. 

That was enough to shock everyone into silence. 

For a moment, Jisung just stared at Minho, petrified. He was too horrified he didn’t have the capacity to look around to see how the others were reacting. He was too horrified his whole mind went blank .

Minho swallowed heavily. “His soulmate’s dead, and he kept speaking nonsense about spending his life alone, and I…” he paused, sighing deeply. “I happen to want him here, so I think we should keep—we should court him.”

And then, suddenly, the world started moving again, time started flowing again. 

Someone gasped sharply—or maybe multiple someones? Jisung thought he could hear multiple sharp intakes of breath like it finally hit them. It certainly felt like it, it felt like the words were slamming full force onto Jisung, leaving him gasping for breath.

Felix’s soulmate was dead. 

“His soulmate’s dead ?” Changbin echoed, devastated. His entire focus was on Minho, eyes searching like he was desperately begging him to admit that it wasn’t true, that he was just playing with them, but Minho did no such thing. 

He met Changbin’s gaze readily, a storm brewing behind his eyes. 

“I…” Jeongin choked out, voice cracking. “He never told me.”

Face pinched, Minho curled in on himself ever so slightly. “I made him talk,” he admitted quietly, voice heavy with guilt. “I pushed him to tell me.”

The room once again, fell into a heavy silence, and Jisung remembered.

He remembered the way Felix reacted when they assumed he was theirs—that weird, borderline extreme reaction he had. 

Maybe it wasn’t so extreme, now that they’d known the truth. His soulmate was dead, and he knew it. His soulmate was dead and they asked the wrong questions, they poked where they shouldn’t have poked, so maybe it made sense; how distraught it all made Felix feel. 

How it pushed him to do something so extreme, like hurting himself just to make them see that he wasn’t theirs, because his soulmate was dead. 

Jisung remembered that Felix’s parents were also dead, and his uncle was the only one he had… before he went missing. Now his uncle was gone and his soulmate was dead, and Jisung’s heart broke for him. 

It wasn’t even happening to him, but he’d really like to curl into a ball and cry his heart out or something.

It wasn’t even his pain, but he ached like it was, so he forced himself to speak. 

“I want him here, too,” Jisung whispered. It was so quiet that on any other day, no one would probably hear him, but the room was dead silent, so he knew everyone heard him just fine. 

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want that before. That would be wrong, that would make this whole courting thing something that came out of pity. 

Jisung had wanted him for a while now, he just never had the courage to admit it. He was too scared to admit it.

But maybe the image of Felix standing all alone was scarier. 

It was surprisingly, Changbin, who spoke next. “If everyone’s fine with it, I don’t think there’d be any harm in courting him.” 

Minho nodded like he expected nothing less from Changbin, before turning to Chan. “Hyung?” he prompted. 

Chan was visibly torn. “It’s not—I’m… We’re not—I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Okay,” Minho said calmly. “So you don’t want him?”

“Of course I want him,” Chan argued back a little too quickly. He seemed to realize it himself as he averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 

Seungmin stayed silent, half-glaring at the dining table. 

If it was any other people, it’d be different, but this was Seungmin. Seungmin might be quiet and reserved at times, but he was always loud whenever he disagreed with something. Seungmin’s silence always meant yes, because his no was always loud.

"Jinnie?" Minho asked. 

Hyunjin sat stiffly in his seat, completely avoiding everyone's eyes, and maybe for a second, Jisung was afraid. 

What if Hyunjin said no? 

Granted, Jisung was surprised that Minho had come this far; he still couldn't believe that no one had put a stop to this just yet. Sure, they were listing reasons why they shouldn't be doing this, or why this might not be a good time for it, but none of them had said that they didn't want it. 

Hyunjin steeled himself before he squared his shoulders and finally met Minho's gaze. "I'd like it if he stays, too."

"Okay," Minho said slowly, carefully. His eyes flickered around the room, like he wanted to make sure he wasn't missing anything, pausing a moment on Seungmin. The younger met his gaze readily, face hard, but remained silent. 

Jisung could kinda guess what he was feeling—he could assume, but he'd like to think that he knew Seungmin well enough that he wouldn't be too far off. 

Seungmin definitely liked Felix that way. The only reason he looked like he was staring rather murderously at the table was probably because he wasn't thrilled about having another soulmate. 

Well, this one wasn't really his soulmate, but everyone else wouldn't know that. 

Jisung understood, though. It wasn't the soulmate part as much as it was the reaction part. The public opinion part. The consequences part. 

"Just to be clear, wanting him here and courting him are normally two very different things," Minho stated, catching Jisung's eyes in particular before he shifted his attention to Hyunjin. "But when I said it earlier, I didn't mean it in a different way."

Jisung understood what he was doing. He wanted to make sure that they were on the same page—him and Hyunjin in particular, because they said nothing about courting, just that they wanted Felix to stay—, and he was giving them another chance to speak up, to disagree. 

To Jisung's absolute surprise and delight, no one said anything. Not even Seungmin, whose murderous glare had turned into something more mellow now. Jisung thought that he seemed faintly ashamed, if anything. 

"Jeongin?"

Jisung couldn't believe he'd forgotten Jeongin. 

In all honesty, he was never worried about Jeongin. He'd automatically thought that Jeongin would agree, obviously, but now he realized that he probably shouldn't have done that. 

They all had to be absolutely sure before they committed to this. 

"It matters what he wants," Jeongin uttered, voice quiet and uncertain. 

"Of course," Minho agreed. "That's why we're doing this. To see if he's interested. To win his affections," he added, visibly cringing at himself after he said the words, like he couldn’t believe he just said them.

Jisung could kinda relate, because none of them had any experience with this. 

Sure, they all loved each other now—maybe a little too much—but it came after. It came slowly and since they were soulmates anyway, there wasn't any kind of courting. They were meant to be each others' anyway, they just accepted it like that and tried to live with it. 

Now that Jisung thought of it, they were extremely fortunate that they all ended up liking—loving each other. 

Getting to know each other, finding a middle ground, figuring out how they all fit with each other... Those took so much time and effort from all of them, and Jisung was so, so glad that it worked. That they worked. 

He couldn't imagine his life without them. He didn't want to imagine his life without them. 

“But what if he’s interested in someone else?" Jisung heard himself asking before he could think. 

That was the biggest problem, wasn't it?

Maybe Felix was already interested in someone else. He was flirting with Lee Minhyuk despite Jeongin's persistent claim of their completely platonic relationship, and he had come to the banquet as Seok Hyunwoo's date. 

“Don’t say that, you’re gonna jinx it,” Hyunjin grumbled. 

“No I won’t!” Jisung argued, because that couldn't happen. They didn't need jinxes to make things harder for them. “I was just—I just wanted to be prepared for the worst-case scenario!” he regretted it as soon as the words left his lips, the atmosphere of the room turned rather gloomy all of a sudden. 

“No use in worrying over what ifs,” Changbin reminded them. 

“Well, I’m not worried about that, not really,” Minho remarked, sounding weirdly confident. The entire room turned to him then, silently demanding him to elaborate. “Like I said, he mentioned that he was going to—that he had always thought that he’d spend his life alone. But it’s fine, because he said, and I quote, I’ll be an animal guy, you know, like cat ladies, but with animals in general!” He said that last mouthful sentence in a slightly high-pitched voice—which was ridiculous because Felix’s voice was stupidly deep—but at least he got that cheerful, happy-go-lucky tone Felix tended to have right.

Jisung didn't even want to begin to think about what that meant. Considering that his friend had lived in the forest his entire life, he might just lose his mind if he started trying to guess all the animals Felix had encountered and befriended. 

Ever since they'd learned that Felix trusted a fox to have his back as he slept in the middle of the forest, none of them was particularly confident of his self-preservation instinct. 

“Where is he anyway?” Jeongin asked, visibly antsy. “He’s supposed to be here like, thirty minutes ago.”

That was definitely an unnecessary reminder. 

Unfortunately for Felix, even courtship wouldn’t be able to save him from Minho’s wrath. He hated the fear that comes with worry, so he’s scary when he’s worried.

Even though Jisung was very much in love with Minho in the most pathetic way, he’d still rather not deal with an angry Minho. He’d rather not deal with an angry anyone, more like. He was always the first to bolt when one of them got pissed and was feeling confrontational. 

Confrontations weren’t for him, sue him. 

Jisung knew that confrontations weren’t for Felix, either. He hoped, for Felix’s own sake, he’d get home very, very soon.

 

---

 

Felix couldn’t sleep. 

Getting home late, he was graciously awarded with an earful by Minho; the way Chan stood by throughout it all as he leveled Felix with a disappointed look certainly didn’t make him feel better. 

Apparently, they didn't think it was an obvious conclusion at all, that he’d stayed for dinner with the Jangs. 

Honestly, sometimes he wished he could read people’s minds just to find out what horrible scenario Minho had made up in his mind. He wondered what he could do to quell this madness. He wasn’t planning to join strange cult meetings anytime soon; if anything he’d bolt towards the opposite direction if he ever spotted a group of cloaked, masked people. 

“This is not about the cult,” Minho interjected sharply when Felix told him just that. 

Then what’s this about? He wanted to ask, but maybe he didn’t want to add fuel to the fire because clearly, nothing he said could save him from Minho’s lecture. 

Felix had a new goal in life. 

He was going to do everything to make sure that Minho would never meet Siwoo, ever. For the sake of his own sanity.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Felix muttered glumly. He really didn’t think it’d be this bad, he didn’t think they’d worry this much. He was starting to feel guilty now, he shouldn’t have accepted Mrs. Jang’s invitation for dinner. 

The older finally paused to breathe, and just as Felix thought he was going to pick up where he left off, Minho simply pressed his lips together before letting out a quiet sigh. “Well. As long as you’ve learned your lesson.”

Nodding vigorously, Felix replied, “I did. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

“You better not,” Minho grunted, but he didn’t go further than that. 

Judging from the look of disbelief Chan and Changbin were throwing at him, Felix guessed that he got off easy. It didn’t feel easy to him, but he wasn’t going to complain. 

He sat with them as they ate dinner, which made him feel at least ten times guiltier. He was also strangely touched, sure, but he wished they didn’t wait for him. 

Sighing, he cracked his eyes open because it didn’t feel like he was going to be able to sleep sometime soon, only to almost jump out of his skin because Jeongin was still awake, and he was staring at him. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, because Felix must've been visibly surprised. 

Felix let out a quiet hum, but said nothing in return. He closed his eyes before slowly snuggling closer to Jeongin, feeling his warm puff of breath against his skin. 

It was strangely relaxing, comforting. 

Just as Felix started to feel floaty, to feel like sleep was finally coming for him, Jeongin broke the silence. “I’m sorry, hyung.”

Felix was so close to falling asleep that he almost thought he was hearing things. “Wha’?” he asked, momentarily disoriented as he was abruptly pulled from the sleepy haze. “Why?” 

Jeongin was silent for a moment, like he was trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m… I just am.”

Felix blinked.

He was completely awake now. He tried thinking of something, anything that he did that might’ve made Jeongin think he was… what, mad at him? That he deserved an apology? 

He couldn’t think of anything. 

“Apologies without context are unacceptable,” Felix said in response. “Because, I don’t even know what you’re apologizing for,” he quickly added when he noticed Jeongin stiffening. “Which means that I don’t think that you did anything wrong, which means that you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jeongin huffed a soft, breathy laugh, which made Felix smile. “You’ll always have me, you know that, right?” 

Okay, something was up. “Thank you?” Felix responded, blinking quizzically at the younger. “I… why—what’s going on?” 

“Nothing, I just wanted to make sure that you know,” Jeongin hesitated before continuing in a smaller voice when Felix stared at him doubtfully. “It’s just… I rely on you a lot, but sometimes I feel like you never relied on me.”

He said it dejectedly, successfully making Felix feel like the worst friend ever, because he had never seen Jeongin looking like that; like a sad, kicked puppy. 

“Which is okay!” Jeongin hurriedly added. “You don’t have to—I just, I wish I was reliable enough for you to rely on me, too.” 

Felix wasn’t entirely sure what was going on or what had prompted Jeongin to feel this way, but he knew that the younger was somehow trying to make him feel better. He wondered if he could sense the guilt that had started gnawing on his insides. 

“I hope that you know that I’m here for you, however you need me,” Jeongin finished solemnly. There was a hint of hesitation in his voice, but Felix could hear his sincerity loud and clear. 

He now felt a strange mixture of appreciation, affection, and guilt towards Jeongin.  

“Innie,” Felix murmured, voice tender. “I rely on you more than you realize.”

Felix watched as Jeongin shifted his gaze away, pulling away ever so slightly as he wrapped his arm around himself like he was trying to shield himself from something. “It doesn’t feel that way,” he reluctantly admitted, and Felix was starting to think that maybe he had unknowingly hurt Jeongin in ways he never imagined.

He just laid there, lips slightly parted in surprise as his mind went into overdrive.

That wasn’t true, was it? 

He had been relying on Jeongin a lot. Heck, the entire reason he was still standing here was because of Jeongin. The entire reason he wasn’t breaking down, the entire reason he was still holding on was because of them. If Felix never met them, if he wasn’t fortunate enough to stumble into Wooyoung, to get introduced to Jeongin, he would’ve fallen into depression or something, with his uncle gone. 

If he never decided to go to the village, if he let his fears win and stayed in the forest… He’d have spent his day lying around, waiting for his demise to come hopelessly; because what was there to live for, anyway? His uncle was gone, he left, and if Felix died tomorrow the world wouldn’t have cared. 

But he met Jeongin, he met Jisung and Seungmin and Chan and Minho and Changbin and Hyunjin, and for the first time, his life had a purpose. 

He was going to keep them safe, he was going to make sure everything turned out alright for them, even if it was the last thing he’d do.

They were the entire reason everything had been worth it. That despite everything that had happened, that even though he had lost everything, even though his body constantly ached with pain, he could still wake up with a smile in the morning.

They were his entire reason. 

“Jeongin-ah…” Felix spoke eventually. “I’ve never relied on anyone as much as I relied on you.” On all of you, he added silently. 

It was the truest thing he’d ever uttered out loud, he could feel it in his heart, but he quickly realized that Jeongin didn’t know. How could he know? He’d never know how much he meant to Felix.

He leaned away, settling to lay on his back, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling as he searched for the right words. 

“Even when I’m having… a hard time, seeing you always makes me feel better,” he muttered softly. “If you’re alright, I’ll be alright, too. And you—“

"But that's not what I mean," Jeongin interrupted rather passionately, visibly frustrated as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "When you're upset, I want you to talk about it, to tell me about it. And then... and then we can figure it out together, and I can try to make you feel better, just like how you always made me feel better."

Felix never realized that Jeongin was feeling this way. 

He always thought that—he felt that even from the very beginning, even from that first day he arrived at Duskwood, everyone around him, Jeongin included, had been helping him so much. 

He knew nothing, he was so lost, and they all helped him; he relied on them too much he felt rather guilty about it. 

But then this might be something else entirely. To Felix, it sounded like Jeongin was talking about something else; about relying on others emotionally, about being vulnerable. 

He supposed that wasn't something he'd done all that much, mostly because his main source of distress was something he couldn't share with Jeongin. He could never share that part of himself with Jeongin and his soulmates. Perhaps he went overboard with that, he never felt all that inclined to share his worries about his uncle because he felt that they'd helped him so much already with that, and there was nothing anyone could do now, anyway. Uncle Insu was a good mage, if he wanted to disappear, Felix had a feeling no one would find him. 

The other thing that constantly weighed on his mind was his dreams, but he didn't even understand them himself, so he wasn't sure how he could share them with others. Besides, despite the guilt stirring deep in his gut, he'd sometimes, very selfishly woke Jeongin up in the middle of the night, because his hugs always worked like magic. 

That was him relying on Jeongin.

"Okay," Felix said eventually. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I wasn't... I'm sorry." 

Even in the darkness of the room, Felix could faintly see the way Jeongin's eyes glinted, brows furrowed. "I don't want you to tell me just because I'm asking you to, though," the younger said quietly, before quickly adding, "Fuck. I'm not making any sense. I'm sorry, hyung. Please just forget—"

"No, I think—I get it," Felix hastily said, following Jeongin’s lead as he, too, pushed himself into a sitting position. Hesitantly, he reached out to place his hand on Jeongin's forearm to offer a little bit of comfort. "You're right, I don't... talk about things," he admitted. 

It was selfish of him, to wish that Jeongin would talk about the things that bother him when he never did the same. To take comfort in the way his friend opened up without doing the same. He didn't do it on purpose, but still. 

"I guess I'm not used to this," he murmured, because it was true. He wasn't saying that he never spoke to his uncle, but life was simpler back then, life was peaceful and generally without much to worry about. His conversations with his uncle were always bright and happy as he shared his day with him—his uncle was a good listener. 

And when he was away, Felix would have a one-sided conversation with his friends all the time—with Seung and everyone else. But then again, it was mostly about pointless things. 

"You're not alone anymore, hyung," Jeongin's gentle voice pulled Felix away from his reminiscence. 

"You're right," Felix said with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Innie." 

That seemed to be enough for Jeongin. 

Felix silently promised that he’d be better at it, at coming to others about his concerns. It wasn’t as if he didn’t need the help, on the contrary, it felt like he needed a lot of help. It was unfair of him to expect Jeongin to confide in him, to open up to him, without doing the same in return. Even if it all came from a good place, even if he had good intentions, it was still unfair to Jeongin, and Felix could understand his frustrations. 

He wasn’t going to open up about his soulmate troubles, and he was literally prohibited from mentioning anything about the poisoning-slash-murder attempts on the Royals, but he could at least be open about his concerns related to the forest, since his friends were in on it now, anyway. 

Sleep came slowly afterward, but just as he was drifting to sleep, he thought he heard something.

He was warm, warmer than he’d been—were there arms around him? He wasn’t entirely sure, eyes drooping as his consciousness wavered. 

“Don’t go where I can’t follow ,” he heard a whisper—a plea; so quiet and soft that he thought he might’ve imagined it—did he imagine it?

He didn’t get to think of an answer as sleep overtook him; In the quietness of the night, Felix slipped into slumber.

 

—

He was outside and the sky was clear. He could feel a gentle breeze brushing against his cheek. 

Someone let out a long sigh, and it was then Felix realized that he wasn’t alone, he was in some kind of clearing? And there were three people, three guys sprawled on the ground, on the lush, green grasses. 

Felix watched as a content smile bloomed on one of their faces as he closed his eyes, “It’s nice out here,” he said. “Sometimes I wish we could just stay and never leave.”

The other two exchanged glances before almost-identical smiles appeared on their own faces—one sympathetic, the other mischievous.

“And however will you survive without your embroidered silk beddings?” the latter asked cheekily.

The first man cracked one of his eyes open to send him an annoyed glare, “I can survive just fine.”

The other guy was evidently, unaffected by it. “Besides, you’re horrible at hunting,” he went on. “I’m decent and Baekhyeon is the best at it out of everyone I've seen, but you…” he trailed off, a playful smile on his face.

An eyebrow twitched, and then the first guy opened his mouth to argue. “I’ll have you know, I’m—“

The voices became quieter, steadily fading away that Felix couldn’t catch the rest of it. 

He was focused on the last person, though, the one who barely said anything, the one who watched the other two with a fond smile on his face. His face was the last thing he saw before everything changed; He didn’t even realize that things around him had changed, not at first. 

“I can’t do this,” a man said. He was dressed regally, clearly nervous. It took Felix a few seconds to realize that it was the same person, that first man he heard talking, just older. He was taller, his hair was styled perfectly, and his shoulders were tense. He had the same eyes, though. Round ones that made him look innocent, they made him look like he was always wondering about something. 

In front of him was another man, and it took Felix less time to realize that this was also the same person—the quiet one. 

The third guy was nowhere to be seen. 

“You can,” the quiet man assured, voice kind but firm. “You know you can. You just need to stop questioning everything.”

The first man swallowed, not entirely assured. 

“We’ll be there,” the quiet one continued as he reached out and gave his friend a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. “If it gets too much, just find us, focus on us. Yongsunie would probably be making funny faces at you though, so don’t do that if you’re not confident you can stare back with your family’s signature poker face.”

That got a smile out of the first man. It was small, and it was barely there, but it was something. 

The scene changed again, and this time Felix did realize it, because it wasn’t subtle. Everything swirled wildly around him that he was starting to feel dizzy. 

There were a lot of people, and the air was thick with tension. 

Someone was kneeling, someone was made to kneel. His eyes were wide; terrified, desperate. Despite the position he was in, he looked up, “I didn’t—“

“Silence.”

It was only one word, but the way it was said gave Felix a chill. It came from someone who was sitting on a golden, luxurious chair—like a throne; elevated above everyone else. 

“Banish him,” the man—the King?—said. 

The kneeling man’s face fell, fear melting into that of desperation, disbelief and hurt. He opened his mouth to say something, but Felix couldn’t hear the word because something was pulling his eyes away, and his gaze met familiar eyes. 

Sad, devastated eyes of the quiet man, much older now, who stood straight despite his clearly torn expression, like he could look into Felix’s very soul.  

—

 

When he woke the next morning, Felix could vividly remember the dream he had. He wasn’t sure if he’d forgotten something, but it didn’t feel that way. 

Even as he bathed, he could still see the quiet man’s face when he closed his eyes, haunting him. 

Jeongin was gone by the time he was done with his bath, so he quickly changed and made his way to the dining room, which was surprisingly still empty. Taking his usual seat, he rested his chin on his palm, mind drifting as he waited for his friends to come. 

Felix wondered why he could remember his dream so vividly this time. He has had a few dreams he could remember well, sure, but the ones about strangers or made-up book characters were usually not this vivid.

He could still recall the faces of the people; of the three men. and it left him feeling strangely anxious and uncomfortable.

“Morning,” someone greeted him, stopping his thoughts from spiraling further. It was Minho, and he was slipping into the seat beside him. The others had started filtering into the dining room as well. “You look gorgeous today.”

Felix, quite literally, froze. 

Slowly, he turned to look at Minho, because was he hallucinating? Did he hear that wrong? 

Minho stared back, looking somehow… expectant? 

Confusion drowned all of Felix’s thoughts. 

Minho was now smiling at him, and for a moment Felix thought that he resembled Minhyuk even though they didn’t really look like each other; and then it finally clicked. 

“I think you look gorgeous every day, hyung,” he beamed. 

He got it. Minho was playing with him, the way Minhyuk was always playing with him. He didn’t think that the two would have the same sense of humor, but apparently they did, which was surprising. Felix didn’t mind, though, because he actually enjoyed the playful banter he always had with Minhyuk—it was fun even though he technically never won, Minhyuk was just too good at it. 

Someone dropped something, making Felix turn towards them, startled. It was Chan, Chan was gaping at him, hand hovering over the table awkwardly, holding nothing as he had dropped his fork onto the table.

He could hear snickers. Who was—

“How about me?” a new voice asked, and Felix turned to find Jisung, who had taken the seat on his other side, which was—that was a first, Jeongin always sat with him. “Do you think I’m, um, I’m...”

Jisung was kind of flushing now. 

Felix was a little bit confused, because no one else had shown interest in this kind of banter before, but Minho and Jisung certainly seemed interested now. 

Admittedly, it felt a little different from what Minhyuk always did, his hyung was always composed—because that was the game, wasn’t it? Whoever loses their composure loses, but right now Jisung seemed like he had lost his composure already. It was clear that he was trying his best, though. 

“Of course,” Felix said with a smile, endeared at his attempt. Jisung was probably new to this, he reminded Felix of how he used to be when he first got to know Minhyuk, always flushing at the smallest compliment. “You’re beautiful, Sungie. The staff always gush when you smile at them.”

Jisung blinked, flushing bright red. “What?” he asked, seemingly baffled.

Felix paused.

“What?” he asked back, confused. 

“What—what do you mean the staff gushes when I…” Jisung trailed off, looking like he was too embarrassed to repeat the words himself. 

Okay, maybe this was more than a little bit different from what he always did with Minhyuk, because it felt like Jisung was asking the question seriously. 

They never took it seriously, not really, even though Felix always genuinely thought that Minhyuk was handsome—it wasn’t even up for debate, his friend was very attractive. Maybe that was part of the reason why he learned quickly, because whenever they were complimenting each other to fluster each other, he was always just telling the truth, so it was easy. 

He could tell that it’d be just as easy with Minho and Jisung, because they were both literally dazzling, as well. Even more than Minhyuk, but maybe he was biased. 

“I mean… exactly that?” Felix tried. Since Jisung seemed serious about it, should he answer seriously? He probably should. Good thing he went with something that was actually real this time. One time when they were having a ridiculous debate on who’s prettier between the two of them, he told Minhyuk that he was so handsome that Wooyoung had begged Felix to find out what the secret to his beauty was, which made his friend snort so loudly. Probably because it was blatantly clear that it was a lie. 

“I heard them saying that since you mostly keep to yourself, they don’t really get to interact with you all that much. But sometimes when you’re in a good mood, you’d greet them good morning and smile at them, and they think you’re adorable, so—”

Blushing furiously, Jisung ducked and covered his whole face with his hands, mumbling intelligibly. 

Wait. Jisung was evidently new at this, so that meant…

That meant he was winning. He won. He had never won before. A smile helplessly grew on his face, and Felix tried his best to suppress it—because yes, he was happy he won, but it felt wrong to be this happy with himself when Jisung was that flustered.  

Chan cleared his throat, making Felix glance at him. “We should probably eat,” he said, and the doors to the dining room were pushed open right on time, the servants filtering in with their breakfast. 

Once the food was served, Felix noticed that everyone was strangely quiet today, and strangely fixated on their own meals as well. 

He wondered why for a moment before he went sheet-white. Were they upset by the banter? 

No, that was dumb, surely not, because surely they knew that the three of them were just playing around, joking; it was harmless. 

He managed to catch Changbin’s eyes, and the older offered him a thumbs up and a friendly grin, which Felix returned a little confusedly, but now he was relieved. Changbin didn’t seem particularly mad or annoyed, so it was probably okay. Maybe they were worried about something else? 

“Mr. Hong wants us to check the recently built public bath at the South District today,” Chan announced, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “Does anyone want to come?”

Felix picked around his food as he absentmindedly listened. The public bath at the South District? That must be the one that man was talking about a while ago. 

“I’m visiting my mother today,” Minho said. 

“I can come,” Jisung offered. 

“I guess I could come as well,” Changbin added.

“Jinnie and I are going to look over some paperwork today,” Seungmin said. “Mr. Hong wants it done by next week, so we should really start working on it.”

Chan nodded in understanding before he glanced over to Jeongin. “Jeongin? Do you want to come?” 

“…Sure,” Jeongin said slowly, hesitating as he glanced over at Felix. 

“Do you want to come with me, Lixie?”

Not expecting that he’d be addressed, Felix turned to Minho in surprise. “Oh, um, thanks hyung, but I can’t,” he said. “I need to go to Goldencrest, there’s something I need to discuss with Momo noona.”

He had made up his mind yesterday, with the help of Siwoo. He was going to tell Momo that he did not want to do it, he didn’t want to keep this from Seungmin and everyone else. Momo had been nothing but kind to him, so hopefully, she won’t snap and hex him or something.

Heck, even if she didn’t, Felix had a feeling that he might have to deal with the King’s wrath.

It was, after all, his decision not to tell Seungmin. 

In all honesty, he was torn. As Seungmin’s father and the Queen’s husband, the King probably had the right to decide whether or not he wanted to tell his son. On the other hand, Felix also thought that Seungmin had the right to know, especially because he was no longer a child, and because Felix knew that his friend would want to know. 

He was just an outsider in this matter, an outsider who happened to be involved, and he had no right to demand anything, so he was well aware of the risks. He’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t scared, because he was. But he was also really, really tired of secrets. 

“Everything alright?” Chan asked, concerned. 

“Oh, yeah,” Felix replied, distracted. “Everything’s fine, really, don’t worry. I…” the words died in his throat as his eyes found Jeongin. 

Jeongin, who had this crestfallen look on his face. 

Jeongin, who eyed him dejectedly; who looked at him like he’d just handed him flowers and Felix decided to trample on them.

They’d just talked about this last night, and he was already messing up. 

“Sorry, I mean, I—things are fine, I’m just kinda worried,” he quickly added. Shit, he was kinda screwed. He couldn’t exactly tell them about Seungmin’s mom, at least, not yet. Even if he thought it was the right thing to do, it didn’t feel right, to do it so carelessly. 

“If things are fine, then why are you worried?” 

By Fates. Why did Minho have to sound so much like Siwoo? 

“I’m not worried about the upcoming trip,” Felix said, desperately going through his brain for an excuse. “I’m worried about—about Hayeon noona.” 

“The Sorcerer of Duskwood?” Changbin asked, exchanging glances with Chan. 

He thanked the Fates that he’d somehow thought of that, but it was genuinely something he also wanted to talk to the mages about. Felix nodded, “Yeah. She hasn’t been replying to my letters recently.”

“Maybe she’s busy?” Jisung offered. 

“No,” Felix immediately disagreed, the worry he’d been feeling for her coming back full force now that he thought about it. “I mean, yeah, she’s probably busy, but no, that shouldn’t have affected her in that way. She’s… she’s kinda obsessed with my sight, and ever since we came here, we’ve been in constant contact as she sends me soil samples to confirm if I could see something on it.” 

He’d sent Hayeon another letter a few days ago—he all but demanded her to reply, going so far as to write if you don’t reply I’m going to assume something has gone terribly wrong, noona, so please send something back and he still hadn’t heard anything from her. 

“In her last letter, she mentioned that she was going to go deeper into the forest, to see if she could find anything that’d help,” he explained. “And that’s it. That’s the last time I heard from her. That was weeks ago.”

Felix didn’t like what that implied. 

He felt hopeful, just because he knew that the rotting did nothing other than aggravate the animals and kill plants, so it shouldn’t be dangerous to humans… Well, maybe aggravated animals could be dangerous, but Hayeon wasn’t helpless, she was a mage. 

“Maybe you can ask the hyungs about her?” Jeongin asked. 

“Yeah, I’ve asked Minhyuk hyung. I’m just waiting for his reply,” Felix told him. “Momo noona said that she hasn’t been replying to her letters, too, so…” he shrugged helplessly. 

He had been thinking about this ever since Sana explained to her that the Order had been busy all over the Kingdom. Nayeon mostly stayed at the capital as she was the Grandmaster, Momo at Goldencrest and wherever the King wanted her, and Tzuyu had been staying at the Guild to help out because apparently the rotting was causing an uproar in the magical community, but the rest of them have been dispatched all over the Outlands to help the local mages with everything. 

Even Jeongyeon, who was the Court Healer, had been dispatched to Solaria recently due to an animal attack that left a few people horribly injured. 

Sana mentioned that Dahyun was the one who’d been dispatched to Duskwood and the surrounding Outlands recently, so Felix had been thinking if he could come with her the next time she went. 

They all travel by teleportation, so it would be convenient and quick. He desperately wanted to go and look for Hayeon himself, to make sure that she was safe. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to be optimistic about the whole thing, deep down he knew that something must’ve gone wrong because Hayeon wouldn’t just disappear like that. 

It reminded him of his uncle, and he couldn’t have that. He didn’t want anyone to disappear like that—besides, Hayeon had no reason to disappear. 

At least, nothing he could think of. 

“Maybe they can organize a search party,” Seungmin suggested tentatively. 

That would be ideal, yeah, but Felix doubted that would happen. “Would they have the people to spare with all that’s been going on?” 

Seungmin pursed his lips, saying nothing in response, and Felix knew he was right. They could try, sure, it seemed like Momo respected Hayeon a great deal so she’d definitely help, but Felix had a feeling that if they found nothing in a few days, the search would be called off immediately. 

The only reason he wasn’t rushing back to Duskwood this very moment was the confidence Momo had in Hayeon; she was convinced that Hayeon was alright, that she was capable of keeping herself safe. 

That, and the fact that he was needed here. They’d organized the trip to Havenwood solely because of his sight, he couldn’t just bail on them now. 

“I wanted to ask if I could tag along with Dahyun noona when she goes to Duskwood,” Felix said honestly. “If Hayeonie noona somehow got lost in the woods, I should be able to find her. I just hope that she’s not injured or anything…”

If she was gravely injured, then he’d be too late. 

Her last letter was weeks ago, so if she was injured…

No, Felix couldn’t think of it like that. He had gone to the forest with her before, he knew how prepared she liked to be. She had Byeol with her, and the crow was one of the most intelligent animals Felix had ever seen. Byeol would keep her safe. 

“I’m coming with you,” Jeongin declared.

Felix turned to him, surprised. He was just going to argue, but he didn’t get to. 

“Hold your horses,” Minho interjected calmly. “Neither of you is going anywhere.”  

Felix would like to state that he did not plan to share this with everyone. He was planning to ask the noonas about tagging along, yes, but he did not plan to share it with his friends—at least not today. He only shared it because he needed an escape, since he couldn’t tell them about Seungmin’s mom just yet. 

Fates. See what keeping secrets did to him?

“I’m not gonna let him go alone ,” Jeongin half-snapped at Minho. 

“You’re not listening, I said neither of you are going anywhere.”

“You can’t tell me what to—“

“I’m perfectly capable of—“

“You can’t act irresponsibly,” Minho said firmly, pointing his finger at Jeongin before turning and doing the same to Felix. “And you need to stop testing me.” 

Felix gaped at him, perplexed. “Testing you? Noona is—“

“So the Sorcerer is missing,” Minho retorted without missing a beat. “A skillful Sorcerer who’s responsible for a whole Outland is missing, and you expect me to what? To send you after her? Can you use magic?”

That was unfair. Just because he couldn’t use magic, doesn’t mean he can’t do anything. 

Felix made an exasperated noise. “I’m not helpless, I know my way around the forest. I can’t just do nothing. Noona’s my friend and she’s helped me so much. I’m—” 

“Newsflash hyung, you’re my friend, too!” Jeongin argued hotly, shooting up from his chair in his frustration. “And I don’t want you to go missing. You said it before, that you won’t do it again.”

Felix gulped, and then he remembered. 

He remembered the day he followed Seung and found the rotting for the first time, how upset Jeongin had been. He remembered Wooyoung telling him that Jeongin had lost his uncle to the forest, too. 

Jeongin had been strangely silent every time the others started asking him about his upcoming trip to Havenwood, and while some of them had been vocal in their stance on it—especially Minho—Jeongin hadn’t said anything. 

And stupidly, Felix took it as a win. 

He forgot how upset Jeongin was when he left for mere hours, because to Jeongin who’d lost a dear family member to the forest, it must’ve felt much longer. 

“Alright, everybody calm down,” Changbin intervened. “Let’s think about this calmly, okay? Let’s compromise.”

Felix was willing to compromise, of course he was. If it was any other thing, he’d be the first to suggest a compromise or something, but this was different. He needed to make sure that Hayeon was alright, he had to find her. 

He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if anything happened to her while he sat here doing nothing.

“Lix, I know you used to live in the forest, but you’ve been here the past few months,” Seungmin began calmly. “We all know that things have been worsening lately. Things might have changed—would have changed, maybe even drastically.”

If Felix had to be honest, he was having a hard time imagining the forest as this ominous, dangerous place. The forest was his home, it was his safe haven. Maybe it’d have been easier if he was there to witness the so-called aggravated, violent behavior of the animals; but to be fair, Felix had always known how to deal with animals better than he did humans.

He guessed Seungmin had a point, though.

“Okay,” Felix begrudgingly agreed. “But still, I can’t just do nothing while noona’s missing.”

“You’re not doing nothing. You’re actively helping the mages with this, you’re helping them find a solution, which will benefit the whole Kingdom,” Seungmin pointed out. “Maybe we can dispatch a team of mages and hunters to look into it, because if someone as resourceful as her disappeared… That means there could be something beyond what we know.”

Felix knew that everything Seungmin said was true, but he didn't like it. It felt unfair because he knew he’d be able to navigate through the forest better than any mage or hunter. But he also didn’t want to upset Jeongin and Minho, so he decided against arguing. 

Shoulders sagging in disappointment, Felix sighed. “Okay,” he said reluctantly. 

Despite that, the atmosphere of the room remained faintly awkward and heavy, and they all ate their food quietly. Felix didn’t think anyone was particularly mad at him, but Jeongin’s shoulders were stiff and he remained awfully quiet when Felix vaguely said that he was still going to Goldencrest anyway to discuss a few things with Momo—it reminded him of the way Jeongin was behaving back then, when he had run off into the woods with Seung. 

“Are you mad?” He asked tentatively as he shuffled closer to Jeongin. Everyone else went to do their own thing, Jeongin was returning to his room to get changed before he left with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung; and Felix decided to follow him. “Are we fighting? I don’t want to fight.”

Jeongin let out a quiet sigh. “I’m not mad,” he muttered. “We’re not fighting.”

That wasn’t very reassuring. Sure, Jeongin had stopped frowning so hard at his question, but there was a certain hardness in his eyes.

“But you’re still upset.” 

Stopping in his tracks, Jeongin finally looked him in the eyes, “It’s okay, hyung,” he said. “We’ll talk later.”

There was something dismissive about the way he spoke. Heart dropping, it took Felix everything to keep his expression neutral. Semi-neutral. “Okay…”

He definitely failed, because Jeongin’s expression softened. “I’m not mad, I promise,” he added, offering him a small smile. “I just need time to gather my thoughts. Let’s talk later, yeah?”

Felix nodded and returned the smile glumly. Jeongin gave his arm a comforting squeeze before he resumed walking. 

He supposed it was his fault. 

He failed to notice that just as Jeongin grew to be important to him, maybe he also grew important to Jeongin, too. 

Felix had no problem with dying, he had a long time to come to terms with it, but maybe that wasn’t all that common. Maybe that sentiment wasn’t generally shared. 

The realization made him feel uneasy, because he knew he was pressed for time. One day he was going to have to leave, and he wasn’t sure how to pull that off. He’d prefer doing it without hurting anyone, but maybe that wasn’t realistic. After all, he couldn’t imagine losing any of his friends, it would devastate him.

‘One day at a time ,’ he told himself. 

Today, he’d tell Momo what he thought—that he could not, would not keep this as a secret from Seungmin. Today, he’d do his best to survive the King’s wrath, and then he’d talk to Seungmin. And then, he’d talk to Jeongin.

He’ll figure things out, one day at a time. 

 

---

 

Hyunjin thought that breakfast had never been so entertaining in his life. The expression Minho was sporting was priceless; Hyunjin wished he had a way to stop time for a second just so that he could get maximum entertainment from the occasion. 

Initially, he’d been nervous about the whole thing. 

Sure, they’d all—somehow, Hyunjin had no idea how they ended up this way, but they did —agreed that they were going to try and court Felix, yes, but he didn’t think they’d do anything so soon. 

He had slept together with Minho and Chan last night, and the noise they made as they bickered was what woke Hyunjin up that morning. 

Hyunjin cracked his eyes open to see Chan pacing near the door while Minho was seated at the chair in front of the dresser, a small book laid in front of him.

“Please,” Minho scoffed as he waved his hand dismissively. “I’m perfectly capable of multitasking.” 

“You’re perfectly capable of resolving a kingdom-wide issue while trying to court someone?” Chan reiterated incredulously.

“That’s what I said.”

The silence that followed was so loud Hyunjin could almost hear his own heartbeat. For a brief moment, Chan simply stared at Minho like he’d just grabbed his favorite practice sword and split it in two for no reason whatsoever.

Minho met his gaze readily, quirking a brow in askance.

“…You’ve never courted anyone before.”

Point for Chan. That was a darn good point.

“Exactly,” Minho agreed cheerfully. “I have never failed.”

Never mind. Hyunjin shouldn’t have started awarding them points, because he had absolutely no idea what to do with Minho. He wasn’t even making any sense, but somehow it felt like he was winning the argument. 

“You’ve never succeeded, either,” Chan deadpanned, emphasizing the words that followed unnecessarily, “You know, since you’ve never done this before .”

Minho hummed, but made no effort to disagree. It’s a little unsettling, how he seemed to be in a very good mood this early in the morning. “Exciting, isn’t it?”

Instead of responding, Chan tilted his head upwards, suddenly looking like he was praying to the Fates so that they’d give him strength or something.

Rubbing his eyes as he tried to make himself more awake for this, whatever this was, Hyunjin pushed himself up. “What’s going on?”

The two froze in their spots, heads swiveling to look at him. Chan’s expression immediately turned apologetic, a sentiment Minho didn’t share, because he was heartless like that. 

“Morning, Jinnie. Did we wake you up? Sorry,” Chan said apologetically. 

Minho, who had always been not fond of waking Hyunjin up in the morning—along with Jisung, really, because they often struggled to wake up early—did not feel inclined to offer his apologies. If anything, Hyunjin thought he seemed glad that he didn’t need to wake him up.

“Chan hyung thinks that we should do the courting later, when things have calmed down, when we’ve figured out the solution to the food and forest problems,” Minho explained, throwing Chan a look before returning his attention to his book. “And I’m telling him that it’s completely unnecessary. We can do both simultaneously.”

The look Chan was giving Minho was exhausted, so when he met Hyunjin’s gaze—asking for support—Hyunjin flashed him a reassuring smile. 

“Well, I mean,”  he began slowly. “Courting could be a chore, but it’s not in this case, because we, uh, genuinely like him anyway. Sure, choosing the right gifts might be tricky, but you know Felix. You could give him a leaf and he’d still be happy.”

“We’re not gifting him a leaf ,” Chan bit back, seemingly appalled. 

Minho snapped his book close with fervor that it made Hyunjin jolt in surprise. He turned to look at Chan. “You, are an idiot,” he remarked lightly before turning to Hyunjin. “And you, are my favorite person this morning.”

Hyunjin shot Minho a grin. 

He didn’t know if the two resumed their argument because he went to take a bath and get ready for the day, but his hyungs were a lot more relaxed by the time he was done, so he assumed that they didn’t.

And then, Minho suddenly declared that he was going to see if Felix was interested in them today.

Here’s the thing. 

When Minho said that; when he told them that he was going to see if Felix was interested, that he was going to, and Hyunjin quoted, test the waters, he did not think that his hyung would openly flirt with him like that. 

He also did not think that Felix would flirt back so smoothly, so he really couldn’t help himself when he snorted at the priceless look on Minho’s face. He immediately shot his signature glare toward Hyunjin, which could be scary, but it wasn’t so scary today—not when the tips of his ears were turning red. 

Hyunjin found it extremely unfair that he was the one receiving the glare when Changbin was snickering. Suffice to say, Hyunjin’s title as Minho’s favorite person did not last long, not at all. 

The conversation took a rather sour turn after that, with the sudden argument Jeongin had with Felix, the younger looking genuinely upset. 

Hyunjin understood Felix’s side, but he agreed with everyone else. The only reason they were alright—even that was pushing it, he knew they weren’t exactly alright with it—with him going to Havenwood was because he was accompanied by the Order. Even the Court Mage herself was coming, even though she was going to teleport back on the same day, right after they were done with the magic stuff. 

Jeongin immediately rushed out of the dining room when everyone was done, seemingly eager to get back to his room to change, Felix hot on his heels. 

Hyunjin didn’t think Jeongin was mad, but it was clear that he was upset even though Felix had reluctantly agreed that coming after the Sorcerer himself wasn’t a good idea. 

Minho, Jisung, and Hyunjin were the last ones to leave the room, lagging significantly behind the others. 

“That went well, right?” Jisung whispered to Minho rather excitedly as the door closed behind them. “He thinks you’re pretty, hyung, that means he’s interested, right?”

It certainly looked like the small argument wasn’t able to dampen Jisung’s mood, which was good. Sometimes even the smallest confrontations would affect him a lot, so Hyunjin was glad. 

Hyunjin slowed his pace, just because he was curious about Minho’s answer. 

“Inconclusive,” Minho said shortly, and Hyunjin was glad he was walking in front of them so Minho couldn’t see the smile he was failing to hide at the reminder of what happened, because Minho’s face was hilarious. “I’ll try again later.”

“Oh,” Jisung sounded disappointed, “Okay...”

“You should probably hurry. Chan hyung will give you the stink-eye if you make him late.”

Jisung swore, and then Hyunjin heard a quick kissing noise before he himself was awarded with a sloppy peck on the cheek. “See you later, love you!” Jisung flashed him a grin before he hurried after Chan and Changbin. 

With everyone gone and only him and Seungmin home, Hyunjin thought that the rest of the day would be an uneventful one, seeing that they were going to spend it cooped up in the study going over this month’s budget requests for small-scale projects within the capital, but it ended up being quite an eventful one as they received an unexpected guest. 

Seok Hyunwoo had come seeking Felix. 

Unfortunately for him, Felix wasn’t around. When one of the servants informed them about it, Seungmin suddenly decided that he wanted to meet him for some reason, so Hyunjin begrudgingly followed after him as they made their way to the room Hyunwoo had been escorted to.

“I apologize for disturbing you, Your Highnesses,” the guy quickly stood up to apologize with a deep bow when Seungmin and Hyunjin entered the room. 

“There’s no need to apologize,” Seungmin responded kindly, taking the vacant seat right across from him. Hyunjin followed his lead as Seok Hyunwoo waited for them to be seated, for Seungmin to give him a small nod of permission before taking his seat. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

Surprise flickered over Hyunwoo’s features before it was replaced by something else entirely—something that was polite, closed-off, and calculated. The kind of expression Hyunjin hated the most, because his parents had him practicing it over and over again since he was young. 

“I’m honored, Your Highness,” was Seok Hyunwoo’s polite response. “How can I be of service?”


“Please, there’s no need to be so formal with us,” Seungmin said kindly. “I wanted to talk to you about the pressing issue of the forest. I assume that you’ve been informed about its nature?” 

“Yes, Your Highness. Our mages have been working relentlessly to find a plausible solution, and we’re monitoring everything closely. The Academy is actively helping, and we’re promising great rewards to anyone who manages to provide a significant contribution.”

Seungmin nodded in satisfaction. “That’s good. I’d appreciate it if you could keep us updated on any progress they manage to achieve.” 

“Of course, Your Highness.”

“As you may be aware, I’m not very familiar with… magic. Maybe you can share your knowledge of it sometime, over tea? It certainly won’t hurt, to understand it better; seeing that the… issue is believed to be strongly connected to it.”

That was a mouthy way to say that he wanted Hyunwoo to share whatever progress or findings they had related to the forest, but Hyunjin supposed it worked, because corners of the guy’s lips were now pulled into a slight smile. 

“I’d be happy to, Sir.”

Seungmin nodded appreciatively before saying, “It’s unfortunate that Felix isn’t here. Do you want to leave a message for him?”

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened in surprise. “No, I couldn’t—that’s okay, Your Highness. Thank you for offering, but I'll come another day. With your permission, of course.”

Seungmin eyed him calculatingly before he eventually relented. “Very well. I’ll inform him of your visit today.”

Hyunwoo opened his mouth to argue, before closing it back as he decided against it. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said, bowing his head rather deeply. 

The Heir to the Seok family excused himself soon after in a flurry of thank yous and apologies. 

Call him twisted, but Hyunjin loved how intimidated the guy was the whole time. He was a friend of Felix’s so Hyunjin knew he probably shouldn’t regard him that way, but the guy was also a Noble and Hyunjin knew Nobles.

He wasn’t gonna assume that the guy was genuinely a good guy anytime soon, even if the King seemed to be convinced that was the case.

After Seok Hyunwoo’s departure, he went back to the study with Seungmin, who seemed rather deep in thought. Hyunjin couldn’t figure out what's got his mate looking so torn. Did the conversation with Seok Hyunwoo remind him of how entirely clueless they were in the face of the mysterious issue of the forest? 

Hyunjin knew what Seungmin thought of magic; and he knew that his mate was convinced—or maybe he was trying to convince himself—that there might be a solution outside of… magical stuff. 

Magic was probably one of the reasons why Seungmin never really considered Seok Hyunwoo as a potential ally. 

After all, the Seoks reigned over Lanervale, and they were particularly responsible for the Magic and Sorcery sector, thus the Academy of Magic, where all aspiring Magicians and Sorcerers learn how to wield magic, was located there. 

They worked in silence for a while, the two of them, but even as Seungmin continued going through and signing the papers, Hyunjin could sense how distracted he was. 

"I'm gonna get some air," Seungmin declared out of nowhere, and before Hyunjin could get a word out, he was already gone. 

When Seungmin didn't return almost twenty minutes later, Hyunjin decided to seek him out. He didn't need to search for long, though, because he found Seungmin on a balcony nearby, leaning on the railing. 

Quietly, he crept closer, taking the spot right next to him. The pretty, clear sky was tinted with hues of oranges as the sun was starting to set. Seungmin said nothing and made no move to acknowledge him, but he let out a deep, tired sigh.

"You alright?" Hyunjin asked tentatively. 

For a little while, Seungmin simply stayed quiet. If Hyunjin didn't know him, he'd have thought that he was blatantly ignoring the question, but he knew Seungmin well enough to understand that it wasn't the case. 

Hyunjin stood there, patiently waiting for him to say something. 

When Seungmin finally spoke, he asked Hyunjin a question of his own instead. "Do you really think that you can somehow sense it when he's having nightmares?"

That was what he’d been thinking about? The weird connection he had with Felix?

Hyunjin knew that he had a rather complicated relationship with dreams and nightmares in general, and if there was anything he hated the most, it was when people questioned him about them, when people assumed that he was lying. 

Fortunately, he didn't think that was what Seungmin was trying to imply. It seemed like his mate was questioning him to be sure, because what's going on between him and Felix was strange. It was bizarre. 

"Jeongin asked me the exact same thing the other day," Hyunjin said lightly. Seungmin's head whipped towards him in surprise. "I told him that sometimes, even when I felt—when I thought that he was having them, I would rush to the courtyard and find it empty."

Seungmin had this apprehensive look on his face now, looking like he had expected the answer, but that it disappointed him anyway. 

"But then, Jeongin told me that he'd sometimes stay," Hyunjin added quietly. "That sometimes, Felix would stay and wake him up instead, and he'd help him through it."

That didn't exactly answer Seungmin's question, but at least, it meant that maybe Hyunjin had really developed a mysterious nightmare-sensing ability when it came to Felix. Maybe it wasn't just a coincidence, because maybe he wasn't wrong; maybe there were days when Hyunjin sensed things right, but Felix happened to decide to stay inside instead of seeking refuge beneath the stars as he usually did. Hyunjin just didn’t know it. 

That silenced Seungmin. 

Hyunjin's words hung between them, plunging them into their own chaotic thoughts. 

Honestly, he was surprised that Seungmin hadn’t sought him to discuss this earlier. But maybe he knew why, maybe it was because Seungmin didn’t trust him, not really. 

It stung, sure, but Hyunjin was also aware that it was impossible, this connection he had with Felix. 

He truly realized how strange it was, how strange this was.

He half-thought that Seungmin would say it then, that he'd want to talk about it now, that he’d say it plainly, how much of an anomaly this was—because whatever was going on between Hyunjin and Felix didn't make any sense, it was like a huge unsolvable riddle. 

One of Seungmin's favorite pastime activities was to solve riddles, so Hyunjin thought that he'd poke and prod at everything until he found a way to explain it all in a way that made sense. 

Hyunjin knew—they all knew—that one possible explanation for it was that they had what people referred to as a unique soul connection, but they also knew that Felix's soulmate was dead and that he wasn't their soulmate, which meant... Hyunjin didn't even know what it meant. 

Surprisingly, Seungmin did no such thing. 

Instead, he let out another sigh—this time long and heavy, "What if it all goes wrong?" he asked. "What if someone finds out that he's not actually ours? What happens when we find our eighth?"

Those were all very legitimate questions, especially the last one. Hyunjin had no idea how to answer any of them. "Why didn't you say anything yesterday?" he questioned instead. 

Not for the first time that night, Seungmin opted to answer with silence. He said nothing, but Hyunjin thought that he could hear it anyway. Because I want him here, too.

"If he doesn't see us that way," Seungmin started again, tone hushed. "Do you think we could still somehow convince him to stay?”

Now that wasn’t a very pleasant thought to have. “I don’t know,” Hyunjin admitted. 

“He could stay to work for my father,” Seungmin said, brows furrowed like he was deep in thought. “His sight is… Father thinks that it’s invaluable. He could definitely stay to work for him or something.”

Somehow, Hyunjin perceived Felix as someone who wasn’t particularly ambitious, career-wise. Working for the Royals would be an honor and a privilege for anyone, but Felix seemed like the type who didn’t care for the status of whoever he was working for, he wasn’t the type to search for praise and glory and brilliant achievements. 

He was always eager to help, though, to be helpful. Maybe if they honestly begged him to stay, he’d stay. 

“I hope so,” Hyunjin muttered, staring into the distance. If it was any other day, he’d be content to watch the beautiful view in front of him, but right now he couldn’t feel the appreciation he always had for sunsets, his thoughts were in too much of a mess. “He scares me.”

Even from his peripheral vision, he could see Seungmin’s startled expression; visibly caught off guard by his abrupt admittance. 

“Sometimes it feels like… like he could just disappear, and there won't be anything we can do about it. He could just disappear into the forest one day, and I don’t know if we’d be able to find him.”

Hyunjin wasn’t even entirely sure why he was saying this, and he knew very well that he probably wasn’t making any sense, but he had been feeling that way ever since they learned that Felix had been living deep inside the forest his entire life.

If anyone asked him why he thought Felix would do that, though, he wouldn’t be able to answer. It just felt that way, like a hunch. Who knows, maybe something about Felix reminded him of Jisung sometimes—Jisung and the way he tended to leave and lock himself in some secret room no one knew about when he was facing something he couldn’t handle. Only with Jisung, he was hiding inside the palace, so they’d eventually find him, or he’d eventually resurface when he was feeling better, or when he was hungry. 

Because this was Jisung’s home. 

Felix’s home was the forest. That was vague at best. They could probably conclude that his house was the closest to Duskwood, but that still didn’t mean they could find him. The forest stretched for miles and miles, filled with animals and beasts Hyunjin had never seen—even worse now with whatever hocus pocus was going on there. 

“Hyung’s right,” Seungmin said eventually, breaking the silence that had stretched for too long between them. “We should definitely court him.”

Hyunjin shot him a knowing smile. 

If they ended up actually courting him, and if Felix liked them that way, he’d be more inclined to stay. Well, if he agreed with the insane plan Minho had going on, he’d have to pose as an Heir, as well, and there was no way an Heir would live in the Outlands, much less in the forest. 

“Come on,” Hyunjin said as he nudged Seungmin. “Let’s get inside. We still have some work to do, and I want us to be finished by the time everyone’s back.”

He was pleasantly surprised to find that after that, they were able to work much faster and a lot more efficiently that, not even half an hour later, they were done. 

Seungmin, as always, immediately went for one of the thick books he had stored in his drawer, waving his hand dismissively when Hyunjin invited him to cuddle or something, because his brain felt like mush after all that paperwork.

It seemed like Seungmin was set on reading, so Hyunjin shrugged and made his way back to his room. He could probably get a quick nap, no one was home just yet and dinner wouldn’t be served for at least another half an hour or so.  

Not even ten minutes later, his pathetically short nap was rudely interrupted by the sound of his bedroom door opening with a bang.

“Yah, do you maybe have some dirt on the Court Mage?”

Hyunjin, very annoyedly, opened his eyes and pushed himself up, shooting Minho a very sharp glare. “What?”

His hyung had the audacity to plop onto his bed, showing no signs of remorse whatsoever. He sighed, “She’s not budging. I’ve tried everything and she still won't let me come.” 

Didn’t Minho say that he was visiting his mother today? 

…Never mind. Who was he kidding, his hyung probably stopped by Goldencrest on his way home or something, to try his luck with the Court Mage. That was all he’d been doing lately, he sent her letters, he sought her at Goldencrest and at the Guild… Honestly, Hyunjin was impressed that the woman was able to remain composed and professional, that she hadn’t cursed him into a stone or something. 

“Hyung…” Hyunjin began carefully. “I don’t think she’ll let you come no matter what kind of dirt you have on her.”

Minho scowled. “Well, what do I do then?” 

Hyunjin paused for a moment before replying. “Let me rephrase that. I don’t think she’ll let you come no matter what you do."

Minho shot him a flat look, clearly unimpressed. ”That’s horribly pessimistic.” 

“Horribly realistic, you mean.” 

His hyung ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Help me think of something. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, swaying people.”

“...I don’t know if I should be offended or flattered.” 

“Definitely flattered.”

Hyunjin simply raised his eyebrows, opting not to respond verbally. 

Minho pondered for a second before his eyes lit up. “Hey, do you think if you, you know, bat your eyelashes at her, maybe flirt a little, she’d be more… open to suggestions?”

Hyunjin gaped at him, offended. “Hyung! Respectfully, what the hell.”

“Never mind,” Minho shook his head slightly, like he’d just thought better of it. “Hyung would kill me if he knew I made you do that.”

Oh, it would undoubtedly land Minho in hot water with Chan, because if he actually made Hyunjin do it, Hyunjin was definitely telling Chan. 

Still, he couldn’t believe Minho suggested that. 

“I’m your soulmate??” Hyunjin screeched. “Did you seriously just ask me to flirt with someone else?”

“Don’t be dramatic, babe,” Minho said calmly. “It’s because you’re stupidly handsome. Plus, we all know you’re not interested in women, like, at all.”

Sometimes Hyunjin wondered why he loved Minho. He was wondering so hard right now. “You barged into my room, interrupted my sleep, just to disrespect and badmouth me like this?” 

“I was praising you, I said you’re handsome.”

“You said I’m dramatic!”

For a brief moment, Minho simply stared at him like he was a child throwing a tantrum.

“Hyunjin-ah, you are dramatic. It’s one of the things I love about you,” Minho interjected, pausing when he saw the smug look on Hyunjin’s expression. “If you ever quote that to win an argument, I’m going to feed you to the horses.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes mentally. Minho and his threats. 

Feeling a little brave, Hyunjin made a face at him. Minho raised his eyebrows, daring him to go further than that. Hyunjin deflated and decided that he loved being alive. 

He thought it was over then. 

He thought that Minho was done being unreasonable, that he’d finally accepted the reality—that he wasn’t going to come with Felix to Havenwood, but then it shattered the moment Minho decided to speak again.

“On a scale of one to ten, how mad do you reckon he’d be if I made the guards lock him in his room?”

“You’re insane."

They were thankfully interrupted by a knock on the door, one of the guards informing them that the others had arrived and were waiting for them in the dining room. 

Honestly, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t understand where Minho was coming from.

Hyunjin had been one of the least vocal about this, but he shared the sentiment. He’d prefer it if Felix stayed here in the capital with them. The mages can do their magic stuff at Havenwood, and maybe just like what the Duskwood Sorcerer had been doing, they can bring samples and Felix could look at them here. 

He had a feeling that if they forced Felix not to go, though, it wouldn’t end well. Especially if they were going to court him. Locking him in might just ruin their chances greatly. 

He fervently hoped that the trip to Havenwood would go without a hitch. 

It should be fine. The Court Mage and the entirety of the Order of Helios were coming with him. If they’re talking magic, there was no one better equipped than them.  

Yeah, it would be fine. Hyunjin believed it would. 

 

—

He was again, met with golden eyes, but he wasn’t afraid this time. Why was he afraid, again? The golden eyes were bright and breathtakingly beautiful. 

‘Who are you?’ he asked before he could stop himself. 

For a moment, he thought that he wouldn’t be getting any answer, but then he heard it, the voice. A voice like no other. ‘What a foolish question.’ 

He jolted awake, his mind running a hundred miles a second as if he wasn’t asleep at all. 

There was something familiar, a taste of something familiar lingered in the air. 

Why was it familiar? Has he had the same dream before? 

“Who are you?”

“What a foolish question.” 

There was a spark, and then there was fire. He watched in wonder, unable to peel his eyes away. It was too close, he realized, but then he could feel it. The warmth. And then the fire was gone, but it stayed. The warmth, the heat — it grew, and grew, and just before it felt like too much, it settled. 

Felix blinked owlishly, head spinning at the onslaught of… of what? Of the dreams he had in the past?

“When life has left its mark on you, come find me,” the voice boomed. It vibrated through the air, and he could almost feel the vibration in his chest; even as the memory started fading into the night. “I shall be your judgment.” 

—

 

“Hey.”

“..Hey.” 

Hyunjin wasn’t surprised to find Felix in the courtyard this time. Sure, logically, he could’ve decided to stay inside, maybe seek Jeongin’s help. The younger seemed much better at dinner, and Hyunjin had no doubt that the two probably had resolved what tension there was between them afterwards. 

Felix didn’t look particularly spooked tonight, and Hyunjin was glad for it. 

They stood in silence for a little while before Hyunjin found the courage to ask. 

“What was it this time?”

Felix hummed. “Nothing that made sense,” he said quietly.

Sometimes, Hyunjin wished he wasn’t so helpless. He wished he wasn’t so helpless when it came to this, but he was. In fact, he was struggling with the same thing sometimes, so he was worse than helpless.  

“Sometimes I just feel… so lost,” Felix added, and for a moment Hyunjin wished that instead of a nightmare-sensing ability, he had a nightmare-destroying ability or something. That would’ve been more useful. 

His heart ached tonight. There was something that tugged on his heartstrings as he watched Felix. 

Hyunjin was in a constant battle whenever he was near him, because his heart always told him to do something, to do more, but his mind was screaming at him to do nothing.

He decided to follow his heart, for once.

“What can I do to help?”

Felix turned to face him fully, visibly surprised by the offer. “I don't think anyone can help,” he said it like a joke, maybe a little self-deprecatingly, before he smiled. “It helps that you’re here. You always seem to find me when I… when I’m not having a great night,” he said thoughtfully. “Do you have problems sleeping?”

Well.

Hyunjin did not have problems sleeping, although he had problems sleeping early. In fact, he had problems waking up, but he couldn’t say that. If he did, he’d have to admit that he checked the courtyard every night just because he was worried for him.

“…Something like that, yeah,” Hyunjin answered. 

Felix frowned sympathetically, worried. “Didn't Chan hyung mention something about sleeping potions before, from the Court Healer? Maybe she can give you some.”

Face pulled into a grimace, Hyunjin said, “I'm not really fond of potions.”

“Oh,” Felix said as apprehension dawned on him. “Sorry. I guess they don't taste the best.”

“They really don't,” Hyunjin agreed, even though he hated potions for an entirely different reason. Something he wasn’t ready to share. And then suddenly, something caught his eyes, glinting under the faint light of the moon. “What’s that?” he asked before he could stop himself.

Following his line of sight, Felix lowered his gaze, grabbing the thing—the ring on his necklace. “This?” he asked. “It’s a friendship ring, from Minhyuk hyung.”

“I’ve been meaning to wear it around, but I was afraid I’m gonna lose it. I found this chain at Siwoo’s yesterday while I was helping him tidy up, and when I asked how much I could buy it for, he said I could just keep it,” he explained brightly, lips pulled into a small grin. 

“...A friendship ring, you say,” Hyunjin repeated flatly.

“Mm-hm. He said it’s a Noble custom.”

A Noble custom, his ass. 

There was no such custom, Hyunjin was sure of that. He had a feeling he knew what this was, though. “Can I see?”

Felix was seemingly surprised by the question, but he quickly unclasped the necklace to hand it to Hyunjin, “Sure.”

Bringing the ring closer to his eyes to inspect it carefully, Hyunjin found what he was looking for.

A family crest. Definitely the Lee family crest; engraved on the outer part of the ring. He knew exactly what this was. 

A ring bearing the crest of a Noble family, given to a Commoner. A very, very old custom, one that wasn’t commonly practiced in the last hundred years or so. After all, his mentors had explained it to him when they were teaching him about the history of the Kingdom, the way the segregation between classes used to be not as bad before. 

It might be outdated, but it wasn’t forgotten. Nobles are stupidly traditional, but they also hold customs and traditions in very high regard.

This was a seal of pledge. 

It was basically a way for a Noble to claim a Commoner as one of their own. 

To be bestowed the seal of pledge was to be given the greatest honor, and it bumps the commoner way above their class—if anything happens the house will come to their defense.

Hyunjin was a sucker for romance, he was silently a hopeless romantic, that was what his mates called him. That was probably why he could remember the seal of pledge, and the details about it, because he thought it was particularly romantic. 

He remembered reading the passage.

I hereby claim that you’re mine to protect, to shield, to comfort. My blood is yours and your pain is mine, as much as my triumphs are yours.

A bloody friendship ring. 

To be fair, the gesture wasn’t strictly romantic, Hyunjin knew that; but he also remembered reading that back then, if a Noble was not-so-platonically interested in a Commoner, they would give them a ring, or a necklace, with their family crest on it—a seal of pledge. Those who ended up being mated with commoners would commonly offer a seal of pledge, too, although it was simply a gesture. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” Felix’s voice interrupted Hyunjin’s souring thoughts. 

“Right,” Hyunjin drawled, totally not sharing the sentiment. “Cool.”

Felix beamed at him, so despite the pressing urge to fling the thing across the courtyard, Hyunjin handed it back and watched in distaste as Felix clasped it around his neck gingerly.

Felix had called it a friendship ring, so Hyunjin was sure that he had no idea what it actually was, which was good. It was kinda reassuring, regardless of Lee Minhyuk’s intention—Hyunjin had no idea whether he meant it platonically or otherwise, but it was significant enough to turn his mood for the worse. 

“Are you alright?” Felix asked, suddenly concerned by Hyunjin’s abruptly souring mood. “Did you… did you have a weird dream, too?”

He definitely didn’t, although he wasn’t feeling that great now for an entirely different reason. A reason he couldn’t exactly share. “Something like that,” Hyunjin repeated his answer, fully aware of how vague he was being. 

Fortunately for him, Felix took his answer as it was. His face fell, and it looked like he was deeply upset—like what Hyunjin said physically pained him. 

“It's not bad, though,” Hyunjin added quickly, because he didn’t like that look on Felix. “It's not as bad as… usual.”

Felix relaxed the slightest bit, “Really?”

“Yeah. I can't even remember what it was about.”

He was totally lying through his teeth now. Luckily, it really seemed like Felix was horrible at spotting lies. 

“Oh,” Felix said. “That's… good. I'm glad it's not bad,” he added softly. 

Hyunjin wished it wasn't bad for him, too. He wished neither of them had to get stupid dreams. 

“I'm going to go inside, drink something warm. Do you want to come with me?” Hyunjin offered the way he always did every other night. 

And just as usual, Felix rejected the offer. “Thank you, but I think I'll stay here just a bit longer,” he said with a tender smile. 

On any other day, Hyunjin would've backed off. 

He’d accept the words, stepping back and muttering a quiet good night before leaving. 

But the moon was bright tonight, and Felix was standing there, and he could see the ring faintly glinting, reflecting the light of the moon just the slightest bit, and Hyunjin was annoyed, and tired of thinking. 

“I’m going to go inside to drink something warm,” he repeated. “Come with me.”

Felix froze. 

And then, he turned to face Hyunjin, eyes widening ever so slightly, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

Hyunjin always asked, but this time, he wasn't asking. 

Swallowing the hesitance, Hyunjin reached out, offering his hand. 

For a moment, Felix simply stared at it blankly, like he couldn't figure out what it meant. 

And then, just as Hyunjin started feeling his face heat up—because his hand was just there, hovering awkwardly between the both of them; outreaching, but not accepted—Felix slowly, and hesitantly, accepted it. 

Hyunjin let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. 

Felix's hand was warm in his. 

“I guess a warm drink sounds nice, Your Highness,” Felix muttered softly, sounding faintly abashed. 

“Hyunjin,” Hyunjin corrected. “I’m not gonna speak with you if you don’t stop calling me that,” he added, finally following what everyone did so long ago to put a stop to the your highness nonsense. It was meant to be a threat, but if it came out embarrassingly soft and unthreatening, no one else had to know. 

The small smile that bloomed on Felix's face made Hyunjin's heart swell. “Hyunjin,” he amended, and Hyunjin wondered why he didn't do this sooner. 

He wondered why he couldn't muster the courage to offer his hand, to reach out sooner. 

Felix's hand was smaller than Hyunjin's. it fit just right, in a way that was different from his soulmates, but it felt just as right. 

It felt like it belonged. 

Hyunjin returned the smile, surprised at how easy it was to do just that, which was bizarre. Being in the same space with him used to be a struggle, because everything always felt so confusing and contradictory. 

It was crazy, how easy things became once he decided to stop thinking. 

Underneath the moonlight, the two made their way across the courtyard, hand in hand.

Logically, Hyunjin knew that there was no reason for this. There was no reason for him to keep holding Felix's hand like this, but for the first time in a while, his heart felt lighter, settled; content. 

Maybe Hyunjin wanted to hold onto the feeling, just a little longer, along with the small hand he had in his. 

The moon shone brightly tonight. Hyunjin wished it would shine just as brightly tomorrow, too. 

 

Notes:

Minho: I’m going to test the water
Also Minho: (ended up being tested by the water)

How to say I love you without saying I love you challenge!
Jeongin, Felix: that’s easy
Felix: You know it’ll be harder if you actually challenged us to say the words, right?

---

hi! sorry for the wait, but here's the new chapter! i think the chapters are going to be like this from now on (length-wise) so it'll take me longer to update, but again, i hope the length made up for it! ☺️

special thanks to the lovely @ALis27Dnm and @x8isfatex for beta reading this chapter! 💓
i hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think!

and i hope that you've all been well, take care, and see you in the next chapter :D

Chapter 33: Eclipsed

Notes:

tw: implied death, dark themes, implied suicidal thoughts

“One hair out of place and I’ll never let you out of sight again.”

Felix laughed good-naturedly. He clearly thought Minho was joking. 

Jeongin thought Minho wasn’t joking, because he was also thinking of the same thing. Besides, Minho had a vicious glint in his eyes he always had whenever he was plotting something, so Jeongin was quite sure the older man meant every word he said. 

When it was his time to say goodbye, Jeongin found himself at a loss for words. He had expressed his disagreement multiple times before, and they didn't change anything, so he knew whatever he said wouldn't change the fact that Felix was tagging along with the mages. “Hyung,” he chewed on his lower lip, expression twisted sourly. 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Felix told him solemnly. “I promise.”

Jeongin didn’t feel assured. 

“I’ll bring you something good, something you like!” Felix added excitedly before he paused. “Or maybe, I’ll get it for you when I’m back,” he added rather thoughtfully. 

Jeongin stared at him, confused. “Something I like?”

Nodding vigorously, Felix didn’t elaborate—he was staring at Jeongin like he expected he’d understand what he was referring to. 

Unfortunately for him, Jeongin had no idea. 

“Fish!” Felix said eventually. “Sannie hyung told me you love fish, yeah? Said that it could help cheer you up. I’m actually not bad at fishing, I can get you some!” he explained, seemingly excited. 

Jeongin was… Jeongin was baffled . 

He would really like to know what San and Wooyoung had been telling Felix when he wasn't around. 

Actually, never mind. He did not want to know what his friends told Felix when he wasn't around, just for the sake of his sanity. 

“Just come back safely, hyung,” he said instead. It sounded like a grumble, but in his defense he was thinking of all the nonsense Wooyoung had told Felix about him and it was not a pleasant thought. He couldn't believe he hadn’t thought of this before, of course Wooyoung would tell him stupid stuff. Jeongin should've threatened him or something. 

“I will,” Felix smiled, completely ignorant of Jeongin’s sudden desire to kick Wooyoung in the shin. “Don’t worry about me, yeah?”

That would be like he was asking him not to breathe, but Jeongin opted to keep it to himself. Instead, he leaned closer for a hug. “See you tomorrow,” he whispered, quiet and uncertain. 

The hug was returned generously, and just like always, Felix indulged him. “See you tomorrow, Innie,” he whispered back softly. 

Swallowing the dread and useless pleadings, Jeongin said nothing back. He simply tightened his arms around him, hoping that they could stay this way just a second longer. 

Presently, Jeongin was regretting his choice. 

He should've tried harder.

Maybe if he whined hard enough Felix would’ve caved and stayed. He wouldn’t be halfway across the Kingdom in the stupid forest playing abracadabra with the mages, and Jeongin wouldn’t be worried out of his mind. 

The only good thing that came out of whatever was going on in the forest was the fact that his first public appearance was officially postponed. He had no idea how long they were postponing it for, but he hoped it would be for a long, long time. 

Sighing for the fifth time in the last few minutes, he let his weight fall onto the plushy sofa with a grunt.

Seungmin, who was in the same room, actually looked up from the book he was reading, sending Jeongin an understanding look. 

“You alright?” 

Jeongin pondered for a second before he answered. “Are you sure we can’t go after him or something?” he grumbled. “Are you sure I can’t go after him?” 

“You know that's not up to me,” Seungmin sighed, and Jeongin knew that, he really did. It didn't help, though. It didn't make anything better. “I made sure to speak to the Order. I have their word, they will keep him safe no matter what.”

“It’s just…” Jeongin trailed off, frustration clear in his voice. “I’m sorry. I know that I'm being unreasonable, but I’m just…”

“You're worried,” Seungmin supplied calmly. “It’s alright. I get it.”

No, Jeongin didn't say. I just don't have a good feeling about this, he didn't say. 

Wordlessly, he let out a long sigh before pushing himself up. 

Jeongin paced around the room, unable to remain still now that he was reminded of the nagging feeling he couldn’t seem to shake off. His head was filled with numerous possibilities that kept getting worse and worse. He should’ve tried harder, he should’ve fought back—he shouldn’t have let Felix go halfway across the Kingdom all by himself. 

Call him paranoid, he wouldn’t care. All he could think of was that day all those months ago, when Felix had followed the fox into the forest, seemingly ignorant of Jeongin’s desperate voice calling his name.

All he could think of was how he tried coming after him, but the trees and bushes were thick and they were gone before he was able to take but a few steps into the woods. 

All he could think of was the way he ventured deeper regardless, hoping to spot Felix’s retreating back from afar, which did not happen. All he could see around him were thick branches and overgrown bushes, stretching for miles and miles, to places he had never known. 

All he could think of was the way his throat was hurting after he called for him over and over again, and how he knew that he was going to get lost, but he didn’t really care. If it wasn’t for Wooyoung, who had somehow found him not too long after, he’d have taken his chance and gone deeper to look for Felix regardless. 

He also remembered the way his hyung returned hours later, when daylight had faded into the night, casually greeting them like he’d just returned from the market.

Jeongin had known for a long time that Felix lived a very different life from him, from all of them. Maybe that was partly why even though Jeongin was more or less always worried for him, it was not as bad as back home. 

At least here in the capital, theywere far, far away from the forest. 

There were no thick trees and uncharted territories filled with animals and beasts that would eat you. At least here, Jeongin wouldn’t be entirely lost. 

He was glad that Minho, at the very least, shared his sentiment. 

“When he’s back, they’re going to know for sure that the purifying ritual does not work,” Seungmin’s calm voice cut through his chaotic thoughts. “I’ve read about it, it’s one of the most complicated kinds of magic, one that is supposed to purify anything.  Of course, they more or less knew that it did not work, but they want to know if it at least affects the rotting in any way at all. The Kingdom’s best spellcrafters and experts are working day and night to invent something new—a potential solution.”

Jeongin turned his attention to Seungmin, who was deep in thought now, brow furrowed. 

“They have been trying to craft, to invent something better than the purifying ritual, but they have been basing their research and experiments on it because it is the best one they knew. If it turns out that the ritual does nothing to the rotting then… they clearly have to change their whole approach.”

In all honesty, Jeongin knew absolutely nothing about magic, and he knew from Jisung that the rest of them were just like that. Jisung admitted that he had always felt a hint of wonder towards magic, but that was the extent of it. 

After all, magic was only for those who could actually wield it. The rest of them could only watch in silence, some in wonder, others entirely skeptical. 

No matter how Seungmin explained it, it all sounded gibberish to him.

“When he’s back, can we please ask the mages not to drag him to their expeditions?” Jeongin asked daringly. “I mean, I know he can see magic and all, but that’s it. ”

“I know,” was Seungmin’s quiet reply. “My father seems quite taken with his ability, it’s like he’s hoping that Lix will be able to provide insights that would help solve the Rotting,” he sighed. 

“He's just as helpless as the rest of us when it comes to magic.”

“Yeah,” another sigh. “I’ll talk to my father.”

There were a few beats of silence, before Jeongin eventually responded, “I’ll come with you when you do.”

Seungmin gave him a soft smile. “That’d be great, actually,” he said. “I’ll ask when’s a good time for us to—”

He didn’t get to finish whatever he was saying, because at that moment, a burst of pain startled them both into silence. 

Someone just got hit in the face, hard.

Jeongin watched the way Seungmin paled, wondering if he was wearing the same expression. “...Do you think Jisung hyung just headbutted something really hard?” He asked hesitantly, expression pulled into a slight grimace. 

Seungmin stood up abruptly. Lips pulled into a frown as he patted his cheek, right on top of his right cheekbone. “Let’s find him.”

It turned out that they didn’t need to go that far, because they ran into Jisung in the corridor. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyes anxiously scanning the two of them. 

Seungmin caught Jeongin’s eyes. “It wasn’t us.”

The worry in Jisung's eyes slowly faded into confusion. “Then—”

“Which one of you was it?” A new voice joined, and they all turned to see both Hyunjin and Minho approaching. 

If they’re asking, then it’s neither of them. Which meant…

“It wasn’t any of us,” Jisung replied for them. 

The two exchanged glances as they came to a stop, slowly coming to a realization that there were two possibilities left. 

Before anyone could say anything, though, they heard hurried footsteps approaching, which belonged to a seemingly distressed Changbin. Jeongin could see the way his eyes frantically scanned all of them, before he came to the same conclusion—that it wasn’t any of them. “Chan hyung went to visit his mother,” he announced as he came to a stop, voice breathless. 

“What?” Minho asked sharply. “He didn’t say anything.”

Changbin eyed him warily, “Yeah, uh, it was kinda sudden, I guess.”

If the situation was less serious, Jeongin would have laughed at the way Minho had turned into such a mother lately when he used to be the one who made fun of Chan whenever he was being a worrywart. 

“We have to find him,” Seungmin declared before Minho got to express how very displeased he was at the situation; because clearly Chan hadn’t told the rest of them about leaving while everyone—and by everyone Jeongin meant mainly him and Minho—was going out of their minds as they worried about Felix and whatever he was doing now in the stupid forest. 

The day just became progressively worse, because now something had clearly happened to Chan. 

Minds filled with worry, they made their way through the palace in haste, Minho barking out orders to get the carriages ready for them. 

Jeongin was distracted out of his mind, so he didn’t really register what was happening until they’d all came to a stop, Mr. Han standing in front of them. 

Wait, why was he here?

Judging from how utterly confused Jisung looked, Jeongin guessed he had no idea his father was coming, either. 

“Prince Seungmin,” Mr. Han greeted, voice polite. “The King would like to speak with you.”

 

---

The air was thick with the ashes-like substance, speckles of dark matter floating all over the place, obscuring the view in front of him. 

And then as one, the mages of the Order started muttering, chanting under their breaths, and Felix saw. 

He saw magic rising in the air, bursts of colors contrasting the darkness around them, rising from nothing, swirling around them. 

The runes beneath them were glowing, and it was almost as if in that moment, the air around them was significantly heavier. 

And then there was a pulse, clearly felt as it pushed the air around them, pushed his hair with a strong gust of wind, before it all dissipated completely. 

The glow of the runes died down slowly, and the colors faded.

The speckles of ashes remained.  

He felt their eyes on him, expectant, hopeful. Felix caught Nayeon’s eyes and slowly, dejectedly, shook his head. 

That was this morning, and now as he sat with the rest of the Order around the table for dinner in Leshbount Inn, it weighed heavily on his mind. 

The purifying ritual didn’t work. 

Around him, the mages sat and conversed with the innkeeper politely, complimenting the food. He could still sense their worry in the air though, now that they’d pretty much confirmed that it did not work. 

They were all there save for Momo and Jeongyeon, who had teleported back to the capital a few hours after they were done with the ritual as they couldn't leave the capital unattended for too long. 

Honestly, Felix was glad, because not long after they went back to Havenwood after finishing the ritual, he felt a sudden pain. It didn’t hurt much, but he had long learned not to believe in his own standard or something; so he’d assume that someone had fallen and hit themselves on the face, or worse, they had been decked or something. 

“When you’re back, could you check on the others please?” He asked pleadingly. “Make sure they’re alright.”

Momo stared at him flatly, lips pulled in a small grimace like she was remembering something unpleasant. 

“Sure,” she grumbled after a few beats of silence, sounding so done—actually, she sounded rather upset. “I’ll do that.”

Felix might be distracted with worry and the endless questions running in his mind about what happened, but he still noticed the snickers around them. He had no idea what they were laughing about, he had no idea why Momo was suddenly upset.  

Momo and Jeongyeon went on their way before he could ask, leaving him dumbfounded as he watched their retreating backs. 

“Come,” a voice called, and Felix turned to see that the rest of the Order had continued walking and he was left behind with Dahyun and Chaeyoung. “We should get going.”

“Is Momo noona alright?” He asked them, because it definitely looked like her mood dampened quite significantly after he talked to her; which didn’t make sense. 

He didn’t say anything rude or bad, did he?

The two mages exchanged glances, seemingly surprised, before their expressions melted into almost identical grins. 

“Don’t worry about eonnie,” Chaeyoung waved it off. “She had a… tough week,” she said cryptically, looking like she was trying not to laugh. 

What she was saying was concerning, but her reaction spoke otherwise. Either she took pleasure in Momo’s hardships, or Felix wasn’t understanding things correctly. All the mages of the Order seemed like great people though, so he was thinking that it was probably the second one. 

Hopefully. 

“Are you sure she’s alright?”

Dahyun giggled like he just said something entirely comical. “She’s fine. She’s just been rather… pressured by certain people the past week.”

“Pressured?” Felix repeated, alarmed. 

“She just had like, war flashbacks,” Dahyun said solemnly.

“Hey, at least he’s really nice about it. No death threats and the like, unlike… y’know.”

“Death threats?!”

“You’re exaggerating, Chaeyoungie,” Dahyun rolled her eyes. “He didn’t make any threats.”

“Are you kidding me? He was glaring all murderously when we picked him up.”

“Murderously might be a little—”

“Threateningly. If he’s not returned in the same condition he was taken, you're all dead-ly. And did you forget the way His Highness spoke to us? He’d have our heads if anything happens to him.”

“Who’s threatening who?” Felix interrupted anxiously, eyes going back and forth between the two. “What’s going on? Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Dahyun assured, giving Chaeyoung a half-hearted, warning glare. 

“You’re sweet for worrying about her,” Chaeyoung turned to him, a friendly smile on her face. “But seriously, it’s nothing for you to worry about. Eonnie’s just sulking. Besides, she’s a tough girl. Could stand a hurricane, that one. Now come on, let’s go after them before Nayeon eonnie notices we’re gone.”

They hurried to catch up with the rest of the group, but it turned out that Nayeon did notice that they were gone, judging from the way they found them not so far ahead, and the sharp glare she threw at them. 

The rest of the day was quite uneventful. 

They went around a part of Havenwood; Felix found it resembling Duskwood in more ways than one. It reminded him so much of it that he started to miss it a little bit more. Jeongin would’ve liked it here.

Unfortunately, he was quite distracted as he couldn’t stop worrying about what happened to his friends, but he thought if anything really bad happened, Momo and Jeongyeon would have alerted the rest of the order. Still, he knew for a fact that something happened, he just didn’t know what it was exactly, and that was driving him crazy. 

He could barely focus on the conversation going around him.

At least they’d be back tomorrow. Nayeon said that they’d probably be back by lunch. 

They were staying the night at Havenwood; the mages wanted to reinforce some of the protection charms around the village in the morning before their departure as the purifying ritual had depleted their magic reserves quite significantly. Felix himself was asked to stay to see if there were any changes tomorrow, in case the effects of the ritual were delayed and not instantaneous due to the severity of the issue. 

They were now eating dinner together at the Inn. The food was delicious, which provided a semi-decent distraction for his already-distracted mind. The Inn reminded him of the Jungs’ Inn, and not for the first time today, his heart ached with longing for his friends back in Duskwood. 

Felix paused from eating as he heard faint sounds of giggling coming from the corridor, wondering if it was the innkeeper’s daughters, the twins. 

“Go to sleep!” The innkeeper, Mrs. Song, shouted from where she was seated. “Sleep, lest the wraiths come to drag you naughty kids into the woods.”

Abruptly, the noises stopped. 

“Sorry for that,” Mrs. Song said sheepishly, but a rather satisfied expression was now etched on her face. “Children these days.”

“The wraiths?” Felix asked before he could stop himself. 

The kind lady turned to him, a relaxed smile stretched on her face. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s just stuff we tell our kids, bedtime stories. Y’know, ones that help them listen a little better. Stuff of legends, really.”

“What legends?” Sana asked, seemingly intrigued. 

Mrs. Song laughed. “Made up stuff. Don’t tell the elders I said that though, some of them believe that they’re true,” she sighed, shaking her head exasperatedly. “It is said that there was once a family that angered the Fates. As a result, they were cursed, and they brought famines and disaster to the village. To protect what is left, and to appease the Fates, the elders gathered and decided that they would be banished, and thrown into the woods. That was the last time anyone ever saw that family,” her expression twisted into a grimace. “Of course, that’s a little too much for a bedtime story, so we’d usually say that the fates sent the wraiths to throw the family into the woods to keep the village safe.”

“Oh!” Sana said cheerfully. “I think I’ve heard of that legend before.”

Mrs. Song nodded. “It’s effective, children listen and it keeps them away from the forest, too,” she smiled. “Honestly, when they grow up they’ll probably tell their kids the same story. It’s quite handy.”

The two continued chatting about bedtime stories and silly legends of the Outlands, but Felix was no longer there. He was no longer at the warm Inn, surrounded by new friends and happy chatters, he was in a little hut in the forest, staring at kind, sad eyes. 

 

“We can’t go because they’re afraid of us,” she had told him all those years ago, smiling sadly as she patted his head. 

“But why?”

“Because they don’t know better,” she said softly. “Because they don’t want to get hurt.”

 

He couldn’t really understand it back then, not really. It took him a few more years to really understand what she meant—that they had been cursed, and that the villagers thought that it was affecting them too, so they had been banished; thrown into the forest. 

That was… that was strange. Felix never heard of such legends back in Duskwood, but it seemed like the people of Havenwood were familiar with it. Granted, his friends were all his age, much too old for bedtime stories, but he did talk with some of the kids and no one ever mentioned anything about it. 

What Mrs. Song told them was slightly different, though. She said that the family angered the Fates themselves, and was cursed by them. 

His family was cursed by a mage. 

That was two very different things, but something told him that it was the same story. That regardless, this legend she spoke about was one about his family.

“What if it’s real,” he spoke before he could stop himself. “The legend.”

Somehow, that successfully halted all conversations. For a brief moment, no one said anything. 

And then, Mrs. Song laughed. “Young man, aren’t you a little too old for bedtime stories?” she teased good-naturedly. “There’s no such thing as wraiths and village-destroying curses,” She turned to Sana for support. 

Sana giggled, but nodded in agreement. 

“Besides, even if they’re real, there’s no reason to worry with brilliant mages such as yourselves on our side, hmm?”

“Aish, Mrs. Song, you flatter us.”

“I’m saying nothing but the truth!”

The table exploded in laughter and chatter, everyone had seemingly moved on to lighter, easier topics. Not that they were talking about anything heavy, either, because clearly none of them believed it was real. 

Felix did, though, and as he caught Nayeon's concerned eyes, he knew that she knew, too.

Suddenly, he felt a little bit sick. 

Standing up rather abruptly, he faintly registered the murmurs of questions as he turned and left, going straight for the door, outside, away.

There’s no such thing as wraiths and village-destroying curses, right?

To appease the fates, the elders gathered and decided that they would be banished, and thrown into the forest.

They brought famines and disaster to the village.

Fates. It was all true. 

It was all real.

He heard the sound of the door opening behind him, and he turned to see Nayeon. “Felix, hey, are you…” She stopped herself the moment their eyes met.

Good. It was good that she stopped, because he wouldn’t know how to answer, anyway. 

Slowly, the mage came closer until she was standing right beside him. For a few minutes, she said nothing, and they stood in silence. 

Felix loved people.

He loved talking, he enjoyed speaking to people and listening to them, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed when she finally spoke. “Don’t worry too much about it,” she muttered quietly. “You heard her, it’s just a legend.” 

Felix let out a bitter laugh, bile rising in his throat—feeling sick to his stomach. “My mother told me the same thing. She didn’t say anything about wraiths or whatever, but our family was banished for the same reason,” he turned to face her fully. “Because we’re cursed.”

Nayeon sighed helplessly, and even before she replied, he could see how much she disagreed with what he’d said. She shook his head, “There’s no proof that it’s actually true. We’re—”

“Proof?” he interrupted. “My parents are dead, and so are my grandparents. My ancestors and everyone before me, they’re all dead—they died young. What other proof do we need?”

That was enough to silence her, at least for now. Or maybe it was guilt, and a little bit of pity as well.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. 

Felix was starting to feel a little guilty now. He was taking his frustrations out on her, and it was unfair. It wasn’t her fault that his family was cursed, it wasn’t her fault that Sana asked about the legend, and Mrs. Song started spewing up nonsense that suspiciously sounded like his family history.

Eyes cast downwards, Felix took a deep, calming breath. “It’s okay,” he muttered. “I’ve accepted this a long time ago.”

That did not have the effect he desired. Nayeon’s expression remained conflicted. "We’re looking into this, alright? It’s not… we’re rather occupied with the rotting now but once it’s resolved, we can focus on this, whatever it is. This, and whatever Granna meant that day,” she said, she promised. “You’re not alone.”

When Felix looked up and glanced at her, he no longer saw pity, but understanding.

He saw a woman who had grown up without her family.

He saw a person who understood how it felt like, to have nowhere to belong, no one to call home.

“Thanks, noona.” 

 

---

 

Jeongin would like to state that this wasn’t what he expected when he was bracing himself for a meeting with the King. 

Minho had single-handedly decided that Jeongin and Jisung would go with Seungmin, while the rest of them would check on Chan, because something might've happened. The older man didn’t go by himself, Changbin assured, two of the royal guards came with him. 

Still, that didn’t explain what happened though. 

Worse, it was concerning. The royal guards were handpicked by the captain of the Knights himself—Chan’s very own father—and only the best and most skillful of them would be considered. Despite that, Chan was hurt.

The fact that they didn’t feel any follow-up pain was reassuring, though. Despite the worry in his eyes, Changbin seemed quite sure that Chan was alright. Would be alright. 

Jeongin hoped he was right. 

At least soulmates could only feel each other’s physical pain. If they’re connected emotionally as well… he couldn’t imagine. They were all worried out of their minds about Chan and Felix, and now the King was asking to meet Seungmin out of their pre-scheduled meetings, which was out of the norm as Hyunjin had so kindly explained to him, voice hushed and rushed as he asked Jeongin to take care of Jisung and Seungmin. 

It was almost as if he was sure that Jeongin would handle this—whatever it was—best compared to the two; which didn’t make sense at all. 

At least, not at first. 

Once they’re in the carriage though, the air was so thick with tension that Jeongin almost wanted to stop the carriage just so that he could get some fresh air. 

He could see how both Seungmin and Jisung were agonizing over what was to come. 

Were they in trouble?

Jeongin had no idea. They hadn’t done anything, at least, as far as he knew. The other hyungs had promised that they’d come as soon as they found Chan. 

While Jeongin wasn’t particularly fearful of the King—the man looked nice enough so far—he hoped they would come soon. No matter what, he was the least experienced compared to the rest of them, and he couldn’t help but think that the others would probably do a better job of soothing Jisung and Seungmin. 

Now though, they were sitting across the King, just the three of them. 

The King had ordered his men to leave, to wait outside, and now he was sitting across them in silence, expression unreadable. 

This had been going on forever now. 

Honestly, it felt like they’d sat there for hours; wordlessly, silently, and Jeongin was going crazy. Did the King summon them just to… to what? To have their company as he stared blankly into the air? What are they doing? Why weren’t Seungmin and Jisung saying anything? Are they asleep?

That last thought jolted him out of his trance, and he quickly stole a sideway glance—No, they weren’t sleeping. 

By Fates, what was going on?

“You have a very loyal friend,” The King eventually said, breaking the silence as his eyes bored into Seungmin’s.

Thank Fates someone finally said something.

It was a lot easier to breathe and to move now that everyone had stopped pretending they were statues, so Jeongin turned to look at Seungmin, whose brow was furrowed like he was trying to understand what his Father meant. 

“That is good,” The King added approvingly. “Men like him are hard to find. You should keep him close.” 

Frowning slightly, Seungmin replied. “I’m afraid I don’t follow, Father.”

The King simply raised his eyebrows before his eyes darted to Jisung, and then to Jeongin, like he was trying to gauge their reactions. Jeongin wasn’t even entirely sure what they were reacting to, so he met the stare readily, albeit cluelessly.

He did not know what kind of conclusion the King made, but he leaned back into his seat and said a word—two words. “Mr. Lee.”

Felix? 

What? Why? What did he do?

And then, the King straightened himself as he cleared his throat, pausing for a moment before he spoke. “I need to apologize to you.”

The thing was, the King was okay the previous times they met. Sure, Jeongin didn’t understand him then, he couldn’t understand why he was treating them that way, but right now he was confused. 

He was so confused. The King was talking about loyal friends, about Felix… and now he was apologizing?

A quick glance at Seungmin made him feel slightly better, because he was definitely confused too. Jeongin thought that he seemed rather alarmed as well, though. 

The King let out a long, weary sigh. “I requested Mr. Lee to take a look at your mother.”

Immediately, Jeongin could sense the way both Seungmin and Jinsung tensed. Understandable, considering the King was willingly speaking about the Queen; unprompted.

Wait, why would he ask Felix to take a look at her, though? Wasn’t she sick?

“He agreed to do it, but he refused to do it behind your back,” The King admitted quietly. 

Jeongin more or less knew that the King was always purposefully evasive whenever Seungmin asked him about his mother. He couldn’t understand why, but he simply crossed it off as a royal thing—he could never understand them, after all, so he thought this was one of those nonsense.

He knew the Queen was unwell, and that it couldn’t be something as insignificant as a cold, but he didn’t know anything beyond that. It was a rather sensitive topic for Seungmin, and Jeongin wasn’t the type to poke his nose at people’s business in general, so he never asked. It wasn’t his place. 

Well, they were soulmates, and he rather liked Seungmin, so it wasn’t as if he didn’t care. They were friends nowadays, so of course he cared. 

“I've always tried to keep you away from this,” The King muttered, averting his gaze. “You were so… young, when it all happened. I did not want to acknowledge that you’re no longer the child I need to protect, that you have grown into a man suited for the throne, a man who can inspire loyalty and respect,” He caught Seungmin’s eyes then, tone sincere and genuine. “And you have the right to know about her, about your mother.”

Jeongin would really like to make sure that Seungmin, and by extension Jisung, was alright after all of that—but the atmosphere around them felt so delicate that he didn’t even dare breathe too loud.  

“I’m sorry, Seungmin-ah,” The King finished, visibly guilty and regretful.

Honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure about Jisung because he was sitting on Seungmin’s other side, but Seungmin himself was barely breathing. Was he breathing at all? 

The thought made him glance before he could stop himself. Seungmin was—thankfully—seemingly alive and breathing, but he didn’t seem well. Face pale, his lips were parted as if he was trying to say something, but wasn’t able to find the words; he seemed completely shell-shocked. 

Jeongin hadn’t been here long compared to the others, but he could tell that this had never happened before. The King openly talking about the Queen.

The sound the King made as he cleared his throat almost made him jump in surprise. “I told… I ordered Mr. Lee not to tell you, and he came to argue with me himself,” he went on, a small but fond smile grew on his face. “Truly, his loyalty to you is commendable. I told him that it wasn’t a request, it was an order, but he stood firmly—said that he’d do it only with your approval.”

He gotta give it to his hyung.

Jeongin loathed the rich, and the royals were definitely included in that group although he never really considered them; they felt so far out of his reach that they were insignificant. Not because they actually were, since a word from them could turn his world upside down, but because they practically lived different worlds. There was no way he’d ever stumble into them.

Or so he thought. 

He loathed them, so he wasn't really scared of them. The emotions he felt whenever he saw the nobles were anger, irritation, and disgust. Sure they were powerful and rich, but those three emotions overpowered everything else, including fear. 

That didn’t mean he’d have the guts to look at the King in the eyes and say no, though. 

Fuck, his hyung was amazing. Jeongin wished he was here. 

“It’s been a while since anyone told me no, so I’ve got to say, I was quite surprised,” Seungmin’s father added with a chuckle. Thank fates, it seemed like the man wasn’t offended or anything. If he were offended, and if he made any orders against Felix, Jeongin would be ready to side with him, of course, but that didn’t change the fact that he was the King and Jeongin was just… Jeongin. He was glad the King didn’t take offense. “It seems that you are not aware of this?”

Still too shocked to form words, Seungmin shook his head. 

The King nodded. “He kept his words, good. I told him that I shall be the one to tell you,” he said, before his expression turned all regretful and sympathetic again. “I truly am sorry, Son. It was wrong of me, to keep this from you.”

The King apologized twice. Seungmin looked like he wouldn't be surprised if when they got home, the horses started flying or something. 

Swallowing heavily, Seungmin eventually answered. “Thank you, Father.”

Jeongin watched, feeling glad for Seungmin before he caught Jisung’s eyes, who was coincidentally staring back at him, too. His eyes were all glassy, like he was trying to hold his tears back. It was definitely good tears though, so Jeongin offered him an understanding smile, which was returned tearfully. 

Seungmin seemed to have gathered himself as he started shooting one question after the other, asking his father about all the possibilities he thought of about his mother, and whether that had been checked or investigated before. 

Jeongin and Jisung watched in silence, letting the father-son duo have their moment as they engaged in a serious discussion about different kinds of illnesses, a lot of which Jeongin had never heard of. 

Seungmin was definitely in a much better mood on their way home, although it was easy to see that his worry for his mother had all but grown. 

“Do you think it’s magic?” Jisung asked the moment their carriage started moving. “Do you think Lix will be able to see anything?”

Seungmin blinked, “I don’t know,” he muttered quietly. “But I’ve decided.”

Jisung glanced over to catch Jeongin’s eyes, exchanging equally confused looks. “You’ve decided…?”

“I’m gonna marry him.”

“?!”

 

---

 

“I’m sorry,” a voice whispered, and then he saw a man. “I’m so sorry.”

A man with a bundle of something in his arms; delicate, treasured. 

“Be brave,” his voice wavered, like he was trying and failing to keep his composure. “I will stand against the heavens to keep you safe,” he added, and it sounded like a promise.

“To keep the both of you safe.”

 

--

 

Felix woke up with a gasp, heart beating wildly against his ribs.

For a moment, he blinked owlishly, trying to make sense of his surroundings, because he was no longer in the bedroom he remembered falling asleep in, back in Havenwood. 

He was in the forest.

How did he get here?

Around him, even in the darkness, he could see the speckles of ashes floating in the air. He could see everything really well, and it took him a moment to realize that the moon was shining brightly tonight. Almost uncannily bright. 

Slowly, he pushed himself up, looking around as he strained his ears to listen to the noises around him—to see if there were any animals nearby he needed to be aware of. 

He could barely hear anything. The night, the forest was unnaturally silent. 

Was he dreaming?

It didn’t feel like a dream because when he was dreaming he generally wouldn’t be conscious enough to wonder if he was dreaming. Slowly and hesitantly, he took a step forward, and then another. 

There was something strangely daunting about the forest.

The unfamiliar landscape, the unfamiliar trees, the overgrown bushes, all suddenly felt all too overwhelming for him to see, because he knew this place. 

It took a few seconds for him to realize that he was moving. Slowly at first, before there were flashes in his mind, and he went faster and faster, like he was trying to catch up to something—like something was trying to catch up to him. 

His head was spinning with flashes of images and sounds, the kind that hadn’t touched him in years, the kind that always felt like a mere dream, not something real.

“Sweetheart,” her soft, melodious voice rang out. “I made you tea.”

The further he went, the clearer everything was. 

The further he went, the harder it was to breathe, because he was here. He had been here before. 

She had turned to face him, a wooden cup in her hands. There was a faint, wispy steam that rose from the cup; and he could smell the unfamiliar scent it emitted. She approached him slowly before coming to a stop, holding out the cup in front of her. There was a smile plastered on her face. He loved her smile. 

Inside the cup, was a faint glow.

He knew these trees, the scent that lingered in the air felt familiar in the way that hurt, and Felix ran and ran, ignoring the branches that scratched his arms and legs. 

Instead of taking the cup, he stood there, eyes focusing on what remained of the glowy plant behind her on the countertop.

His lungs were burning, but he didn’t stop, he didn’t slow down, because he could hear it then. A song from the past, the melodies that were hummed to him as he drifted to sleep. 

“It’s glowing.”

“Pretty, right?” she replied smoothly, smile unwavering. “Have a sip, sweetheart.”

He hesitated.

“But tea isn't supposed to be glowy,” he said, confusion audible in his voice. 

He could hear the echoes of laughter that filled the air, he could feel the heat of the summers as he braved the woods freely, his hand securely and gently held by one that was larger, and kinder than his own. 

He knew it was not the right thing to say. Her smile wavered for a moment, eyes hardening. “Of course not, honey,” she said. “Some of the most delicious tea I’ve tasted glowed very brightly.”

He eyed the tea curiously. 

“But I remember,” he said stubbornly, because she liked it when he remembered the things she taught him. She always told him that the bad plants were always the most beautiful, the most enchanting, they even glow sometimes. He remembered them well, even though they were bad, they were beautiful. He liked staring at them from afar, they were very pretty, especially in the dark. 

In the darkness of the night, he could almost feel the sunlight on his skin as he laid down; he could feel the fingers that gently ran through his hair. 

“This is a very special tea,” she said, voice hushed all of a sudden. “It’s very delicious, it’s good for you.”

The forest and the trees faded all around him, and he could feel it in his bones, that he had been here before. 

That here, was home.

The ground underneath him, the uneven surface felt familiar. 

He didn’t really understand, but she was his Mama, and his Mama knew so many things he didn’t, so slowly, so he reached for the cup.

One second he was running, the next second he was coming to a stop, and it all caught up to him. 

The past, the distant memories that had been slipping through his fingers like water had suddenly stopped moving, like time did not exist for a moment as all things ceased to move. 

In his hands, were everything. 

And there in front of him, was a small clearing.

There was a rock almost at the center of the clearing, it was big and it had a weird shape. The moss had grown all over it, and as he took his final step forward, he lost the strength he had in him, breath ragged as he all but collapsed to the ground. 

In front of him, was her.

His memories came rushing back to him like waves, unstoppable, merciless. 

The eerily quiet evening, the way her eyes never left him as he took the cup, as he brought it closer to his lips.

A loud cry, and then something big and mighty, bursting into their safe little hut, diving straight for the cup and knocking it off his hands. The loud shriek it let out before it left just as quickly as it came. 

The way the faint glow was still visible there on the ground, and the way she stood there, frozen and shocked. 

The way she looked at him like he was a stranger, like he had grabbed her heart and crushed it with his bare hands. 

His bloodline was cursed. 

His father’s bloodline was cursed, the very blood that was running in his veins. 

The curse that had taken countless lives before him. 

His mother was alive, and she wanted him to drink the tea.

She was crying, sobbing; and even though it wasn't him who did it, it was that huge eagle that appeared out of nowhere that spilled the tea she had made for him, he couldn't help but feel guilty. 

“‘m sorry,” he muttered, scared and confused, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes. 

Reaching desperately for the rock he had laid there for her, for him to remember where she was laid to rest, his sight was blurred by the tears that had started streaming uncontrollably down his face. “I’m sorry,” he choked out the pathetic, pointless words. “I’m sorry,” he repeated them again and again, like a prayer. 

Like he was hoping she could hear him somehow. Like he wanted her to know that he finally understood. 

It was his fault. 

The dirt beneath him was hard and familiar, and he could almost feel it sticking to his skin as he dug and dug and dug.

He could almost see her cold, lifeless body his uncle had helped move there, and the way she remained still even as he piled the dirt on top of her with trembling hands. 

If he drank it, would she be here?

If he drank it and took the curse with him, would she still be alive?

It was getting too much now. His chest was twisting painfully and with each ragged breath, his sobs grew louder and louder—more desperate, as if he was trying to expel the overwhelming anguish that came with the memories. 

The memories he had so desperately buried. The memories his uncle had so kindly hidden from him, ones he so delicately took away, just so that he could live a second without the overwhelming guilt clouding his thoughts. 

The memories he so desperately ran from had finally caught up to him, and there was nowhere else to run. His uncle wasn’t there to take it all away, there was just him and the eerily silent forest, cloaked in darkness.

Pain was all he knew. He'd have clawed his heart out if that would stop it.

But then suddenly, he saw it—a faint light somewhere to his left. 

Right there, just a few long strides away, were some Angel’s Orchids. 

It had been years since he’d seen one. 

They were as beautiful, as entrancing as he remembered, and suddenly, they were all he could think of. 

Slowly, like he was being pulled by an unseen force, he stood back up and made his way towards them. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, or what he was trying to do. All he knew was that there were a few Angel’s Orchids right over there, and he wanted to—he needed to get closer.

Just as he was taking another step, something jumped out of the bush behind them, making him stop in his tracks, breath hitching in a startle. 

It was a wolf. 

A huge, gray wolf, and it was now standing between him and the orchids. 

For a long moment, Felix just stared at the wolf, confused. 

Where did it come from? What was it doing?

And then, he took a small, hesitant step. 

The effect was instantaneous, the wolf growled, eyes locking into Felix’s. It didn't advance, but it didn't retreat either. It was as if it was telling him to back off, eyes glinting intelligently under the moonlight. 

He took another step forward, and the wolf responded instantly, lunging at him. Not to bite or claw, but to knock him back. 

The force of the impact sent him sprawling to the ground.

"Get out of my way!" He barked, scrambling to his feet. He single-mindedly lunged toward the orchids again, hands reaching out for the delicate, deadly flowers.

The wolf tackled him again, and he met it readily; pushing back, wrestling with all the pain and desperation he was feeling. 

He eventually fell, losing his balance in the face of the raw strength of the wolf. This time, it used its mouth to grab the hem of his shirt, and started dragging him away. 

Away from the orchids.  

With the strength he had left, Felix tried pulling, tears of frustration and grief streaming down his face. "What is your problem!” he yelled, his voice breaking. “Go away!”

But the wolf held firm, and it dragged him all the way to the other side of the clearing. 

For a while then, he kept fighting against its hold, his fingers clawing at the dirt as he tried to inch closer to the orchids, to slip away. The wolf's strength was unyielding, though, and it pushed him further away with each desperate attempt.

Felix would like to curse the wolf and the forest. 

He’d like to curse the world and everything in it, but his strength was leaving him as the wolf pulled him away more firmly as if it was trying to make it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere near the orchids. 

Felix’s struggles weakened, his energy spent, until he eventually just laid there, tears mixing with the dirt on the ground.

He didn’t know how much time passed, but when felt the wolf pulling away, he simply curled in on himself and cried. 

He closed his eyes, the image of the orchids burning into his mind, taunting him, mixed with the bright memories of his mother’s smile. 

“My little heart,” she would say as she gently stroke his cheek, her smile so warm and kind that it hurt to remember. “Your papa and I love you very much, alright?”

She loved him, he knew that much. His father, too, he believed.

He hoped, at least, because that was what she always told him. 

They loved him, and now they’re gone.

She loved him, and she wanted him to drink the damn tea. 

“It—it was my fault,” He had sobbed in front of his uncle; back then Felix hadn’t even started addressing him that way.  

Uncle Insu didn’t hug him the way his mother would, nor did he wipe his tears away. 

Instead, the man kneeled in front of him; and then, with conviction, he spoke, “No,” he said firmly. “No, it wasn’t.”

Not long after, he felt warmth right around his back, and soft fur brushing against the back of his arm. 

The wolf was now curled around him, like it was trying to provide a little bit of comfort. 

The thought brought fresh waves of tears into his eyes, and despite the way his eyes were starting to hurt, he gave in to the urge and wept. 

Overhead, the clouds crept closer to the moon, dimming its brilliant light. 

 

---

 

Footsteps echoed in the dimly lit room, bouncing on the stone walls around them. 

The woman sighed, the crow cried, and the silhouette remained unmoving.

“We need to do something,” the woman gritted her teeth.

“They know you know,” The silhouette stated calmly. “You can’t go to the cities.”

The woman’s words came as an outburst, frustration palpable. “But we have to tell someone!”

Instead of immediately answering, the silhouette paused, letting the sound fade, letting the silence fall. “This is bigger than you think.”

“What,” the woman interjected flatly. “How is this—do you mean this is connected to the rotting?”

“There are much bigger things at play, child,” the silhouette, the man muttered as the candles flickered. “This has been going on for hundreds of years.”

“The rotting?” the woman repeated, seemingly frustrated at the cryptic words. “That’s imposs—that couldn’t be right. It’s only started recently, there are no records—”

“It’s been rapidly worsening the past few decades,” the other person admitted. “I wouldn’t dare speculate, but we could only hope it doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

“And what…” she whispered, a hint of fear in her voice. “What do you think it means?”

“I think that maybe,” the person paused before continuing, face darkening as the candles flickered and the shadows danced. “The Fates have finally forsaken us.”

Chapter 34: Solitude

“The dragon attacks everyone with no mercy, destroying the whole village,” she narrated in a playful tone, but there was something else in her eyes, a hint of seriousness she had whenever she was being stern with him. He liked it better when she wasn't being stern. “Save the village, please! Do you know what to do?”

“Strike right below the neck.”

“That’s right,” she said as she ruffled his hair fondly, and for a moment it was gone. Then with an encouraging smile, she pushed the small, wooden sword into his hands. “The area right below its neck is less protected ‘cause it’s covered in soft scales.”

And then she straightened herself and stood; the ruby red robe flowed behind her like a river of fire.

For a moment that was all he saw—the crimson fabric of the cape as it danced around her, edges fluttering. 

Then suddenly, with a mischievous grin, she swept the cape behind her as she flung her arms wide and took off in an exaggerated, swooping motion, pretending to fly like a dragon. 

His laughter echoed around the clearing. 

“Now come, Little Hero,” she said as she came to a stop, smiling. “It’s time to defeat the dragon and save the world.”

Stopping abruptly, his face fell. He loved playing with his Mama, but he hated how the story always ends this way. 

“Do I have to?” he asked, suddenly sad. He wondered why it couldn’t end with him on the dragon’s back, soaring the sky. Dragons were such cool creatures! And Felix was sure they weren’t always angry like his Mama said. 

Felix woke up to soft nudges. 

Blinking blearily, his stomach lurched for a second because how did he get here? 

And then the memories of last night came rushing back, and he could almost feel strength seeping out of his body, he could feel the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, overwhelming, crushing. 

Felix let out a shuddering breath as he blinked the sleep away, sluggishly pulling himself up until he was sitting.  

He didn’t need those anymore—dreams. He remembered everything about her now. 

The wolf was still there, curled around him. Its eyes glinted as he turned to look at it, silently watching. For once, he was glad that animals couldn’t talk, because he wouldn’t know what to say to it, honestly. 

Gently, he reached out to pet its furs in silent thanks before he pushed himself up. What time was it? He had no idea. It was still dark. 

Slowly, he made his way to her, barely registering the way the wolf followed after him at a distance. 

She used to be taller than him. 

Much, much taller than him. But now he had to kneel and lean closer to the ground to get close to her, to where she was laid. 

He gently ran his fingers on the uneven surface of the rock, swallowing heavily as he felt his eyes stinging again. Stubbornly, he blinked the tears away—he’d cried enough. There will be no more crying. 

“You’re okay,” She used to say when he cried. “You’re alright, see? It’s okay.”

He used to cry over so many things. He’d cry when he tripped and hurt himself, he’d cry whenever she asked him to go somewhere all by himself, he’d cry whenever she went too hard on him in their daily sword practice. 

He cried when she showed him where food came from. They hid behind bushes and trees, and he stayed quiet as she aimed her bow, making the animals fall and writhe and coloring them red. 

He’d cry whenever she scolded him too hard. He’d cry whenever she cried. 

He cried when she wouldn’t wake up. 

Taking another deep, shuddering breath, he leaned closer—whispering something under his breath before he straightened himself, stood up, and turned to leave. 

It took him everything to leave. 

Everything in him ached to stay; maybe he could just curl right beside her and wait for his time to come. 

But he wouldn’t. 

He couldn’t , because she wouldn’t want him to do that. Because now that he remembered her, he remembered the things she’d taught him. 

“One day,” she started, a faraway look in her eyes. “We’ll go on a journey.”

He just stared at her, eyes wide, head slightly tilted in wonder. 

“A journey?”

She smiled, eyes crinkling. “An adventure.”

“An adventure!” He repeated, completely awed. “Where are we going, Mama?”

Her smile grew smaller just a fraction as she reached to ruffle his hair. “Far away,” she replied. “Far, far away from here.”

That was it, wasn’t it?

She’d always told him that they were going on a journey—they were going on an adventure one day. That was why he needed to be prepared, that was why she taught him how to hunt, how to defend himself, how to fight, and how to survive. 

They were going on a journey. 

What journey? Where were they going?

She never told him. She always said they were going somewhere, but she never told him where —instead she said it was a secret, she said that she’d tell him when he was older. 

Well, he was older now , but she wasn’t here to tell him. 

There were a lot of things he remembered about his mother, but there were also a lot of things he didn't understand. He'd have thought now that he was older, he'd understand things, but it felt like he was just as lost as he was when he was younger. 

With two years left in his life, he doubted he'd have the time for that journey, even worse since he didn't even know where exactly he needed to go. 

His mother never told him anything about it, and who could he possibly ask now? 

Would his uncle know?

He was friends with her, and while he never mentioned it, maybe he knew something. Hopefully he knew something, because he had no idea who else he could ask. 

Felix needed to find him. Somehow. 

He let out a soft sigh as he started walking in the direction he knew would lead him back to the village, barely raising his eyebrows when he realized the wolf was following after him. Seriously, it wasn't as if he was going to… to try anything. 

Not anymore, anyway. 

Felix had things to do, he needed to take a look at the Queen and hopefully help the mages solve the rotting before he could finally rest. 

Fates. He couldn't believe a wolf was babysitting him. 

He could've sworn it gave him an exasperated side-eye as it strode past him, seemingly deciding that it would lead the way. 

“I know how to get back to the village, you know,” he grumbled as he quickened his pace so that he'd be walking right beside it and not behind. 

Unsurprisingly, the wolf ignored him. 

This wolf had an attitude. It reminded him of Seokie. Not for the first time, he wondered how his friends were doing. He hoped they were safe from the rotting. 

He really needed to go back to Duskwood. 

Together in silence, they braved the woods—Felix tried to keep his head elsewhere the entire time, he really did, but no matter how worried he was about his friends, both humans and animals, he couldn't stop thinking of her. 

Of his mother. 

Felix wasn't exactly keeping track of how long they'd been walking, the sky was still dark but they had been walking for a while when the wolf came to a sudden stop. Felix halted as he looked around dazedly, he had been trying—and failing —to get rid of the strange lump that had magically appeared in his throat, so he wasn't paying attention to where they were going. 

Curiously, he watched as the wolf's ears perked up, like it could hear something Felix clearly didn't, before it gave him one last look. 

Then, it took a leap and disappeared as quickly as it appeared. 

Felix blinked, suddenly alone in the middle of the dark forest. 

He wasn't scared, he hadn't been scared of the forest for a long time, and his mother was the one he needed to thank for that. She used to make him go on small quests all by himself, and occasionally she made him do it after the sun went down. It ranged from finding a hidden treasure—now that he'd grown much older, he realized she must've been the one hiding them in the first place—to finding magical plants that could only be found in peculiar places; she'd gotten him used to the forest and everything in it. 

He might get lost very easily in the capital, but here, he could find his way even with his eyes closed. 

After brief contemplation, he continued on his journey back to Havenwood. He tried to rack his brain for anything he could remember about the village and what his mother told him. He had never gone there himself, because obviously she'd always told him that he needed to steer clear of the village, but he was trying to remember if she ever told him about how far it was. 

It couldn't be too far, could it?

How did he get here, anyway? He'd half thought that he was dreaming, but usually his dreams involve either cryptic or creepy things and they never really made him… walk to or from his destination? But right now he's in the middle of the woods all by himself, trying to get back to the village. 

It felt as real as it could be. That didn't explain how he got there in the first place, though. 

A faint sound of rustling made him stop in his tracks. 

Shoot, what was that? He stayed silent, straining his ears to see if he could hear anything—he could hear some more rustling, and branches breaking…was he hearing footsteps? Was someone there? But who would be in the forest at this hour? At any hour, actually. 

He didn't have any time to think or move, because he noticed a light from afar. He had half a second to think oh, that's weird and then there was a strong gust of wind that made him scrunch his eyes shut for a brief moment. 

When he opened his eyes, he found Nayeon standing right in front of him, eyes frantic as she gripped her staff tightly, aiming it at him, small bulbs of light floating around her. 

Felix blinked. Nayeon gasped. 

And then, Felix watched as Nayeon's startled look turned into something different, something fierce. 

“Are you out of your mind?!” She practically screeched as she stomped closer. “What are you doing out here—and at this hour?! Do you have a death wish!”

Felix opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. 

“Not a word!” Nayeon snapped as she inspected him, like she was trying to check if he was injured other than the scratches he had all over. The bulbs of light floated around him like they were trying to help Nayeon inspect him, they looked cool, he had never seen this spell before. “What were you thinking! You could’ve been hurt—or killed! The beasts around this area are vicious. I can’t imagine—”

Great, she looked pissed. Not that he couldn't understand why, but he hadn't been having a pleasant night either, so he really wasn’t up to any scolding, thank you very much. 

“My mother's grave.”

Nayeon paused, face going blank all of a sudden. “What?”

“I was at my mother's grave,” Felix repeated flatly. He hated that; he hated saying that out loud. 

Fortunately for him, Nayeon suddenly didn't look all that angry anymore. Maybe because she pitied him. He supposed he'd take that over whatever lecture she was going to reward him with. 

“Oh,” She said, looking like she was at a loss for words. 

Now that he'd say that out loud, his mother was all he could think of again; her voice and her smile. 

That night and her stiff, cold body. The deafening silence that choked him as she lay there, unmoving. 

The tea. 

“Your mother's grave… it's here?” Nayeon asked, looking like she was trying to be careful with her words, but she couldn’t hide her confusion. “I thought you're from Duskwood.”

“I am,” Felix replied unhelpfully, maybe a little sharply. 

The mage looked even more confused now. Honestly, he could relate. He had no idea what to think, what to believe, what to do with himself.

Where he goes from here. 

Getting the memories of his mother back just added even more questions. The more he thought of her, the more confused he became. 

She always told him that they couldn’t go to the village because everyone thought they were cursed—they thought they were the ones bringing those disasters to the village. He knew that it was true now, after what was said at dinner. 

They used to live here. They lived here. The village Felix had tried sneaking into was Havenwood. 

That explained why no one in Duskwood regarded him suspiciously. Why Wooyoung was so kind from the very beginning. Why no one looked at him like he was a monster when he admitted he’d lived in the forest with his uncle all these years. 

But then…

But if he used to live here, how did he get all the way across the Kingdom?

All the way to Duskwood?

That night… His memory of that night was still much too blurry. He remembered his uncle finding him. He remembered the way his eyes stung as he buried his mother. He remembered crying so much everything else faded. 

His breath hitched. 

Nayeon's attention shifted to him entirely—concerned. 

He remembered the fire. 

The fire, how could he forget? He remembered smelling the smoke, he remembered hearing Insu’s hasty steps as he came to get him in that small clearing, his hands dirty with mud and skin sticky with sweat as he stared blankly at the ground, the rock; he remembered the frantic murmurs of apologies as his uncle said something about the candles. 

He remembered the way the dark sky lit up in hues of oranges. 

He remembered rushing back to his home, watching as the fire raged and consumed everything. 

It burned bright, even with all the smoke. His chest ached, but he could barely take his eyes away as Insu tugged him away, urgently insisting that they needed to get out of there. 

The next thing he remembered was waking up in a room. In what would soon become his room. 

“Felix?” Nayeon's uncertain voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

Felix let out a deep, tired sigh. “I used to live here with her, until she… yeah. My uncle took me in, and I guess he lived in Duskwood. He took me home.”

A tense silence stretched between them. 

“Jihyo asked if you've been here before, remember? During that first meeting with the Order. She asked, and you said no.” she recounted, brow furrowed in deep thought. “So you didn't know? Or you did, but—”

“No,” Felix interrupted her, frustration bubbling in his chest. “I had no idea, I was a child. I was a child and my mother never let me go to the village because we're cursed, remember? You heard what Mrs. Song said. Mom never talked much about the villages and cities because it would always end with me begging to visit.”

He felt a little breathless after all that, chest tight as his mind spun. 

Felix had seen a map of the Kingdom the other day, spread over Seungmin's desk. He knew that Duskwood's all the way across the Kingdom, practically on the opposite end of the Kingdom.  

How did he get all the way to Duskwood? 

Maybe his uncle teleported them there. Come to think of it, he didn't know teleportation was… real. Not before Hayeon, anyway. His uncle never talked about teleporting anywhere, could he teleport? He definitely could, right? Otherwise, how did they get all the way to Duskwood back then? There was no way he'd sleep the entire way back, that would take days. 

But then, why didn't he tell him about it? About teleportation?  

He always watched his uncle walk towards the general direction of the village, he'd watch until his back disappeared entirely behind the trees. 

He couldn't do this right now, thinking about his uncle just made everything worse and he didn't have the emotional capacity to cope with his memories of his mother and whatever was going on with Uncle Insu at the same time. 

“Come on, let's go back.”

Felix glanced at Nayeon as the woman gave his shoulder a pat. She definitely had more questions, he could see it in her eyes, but it looked like she was kind enough to save it for later. 

Felix was grateful for that. 

They walked in silence for a little while.

Honestly, the silence was nice because he was not up for any kind of interrogation, but it was also very bad for him. 

All his memories of his mother—his thoughts and worries were like poison seeping into his every thought, and he couldn't stop thinking about that damn tea. 

The rest of their hike home wasn’t eventful. For all that talk about vicious beasts, they sure didn’t encounter any on their way back; heck, he hadn’t run into anything at all the entire night. Anything but that wolf, but that wasn’t exactly a beast, was it?

They were back at the inn by the time the sky turned light, still too early for most people to be up though, judging from how deserted it was. 

Unfortunately though, it wasn’t too early for Jihyo to be up. 

Honestly, his head was completely elsewhere after that, but he did notice Jihyo throwing Nayeon a particularly burning glare, saying something about their heads under her breath. 

He also noticed the way Nayeon lied as she told Jihyo that Felix decided to tag along when she wanted to do one last patrol around the woods this morning. He wasn’t entirely sure why they were lying, but it felt like he was supposed to be grateful for it. He wasn’t particularly jumping for the opportunity to recount what happened to him last night—which will definitely come with his family history and a whole lot of questions, so he was quite grateful for that. 

He hid behind the mages as they bid their goodbyes to Mrs. Song and some of the villagers who’d come to see them off.

It felt like he blinked, and they were stepping off the carriage in front of Silvercrest, Nayeon and Sana accompanying him while the rest of them went on their own missions.  Also, somehow it sounded like Jihyo was supposed to be the one coming, but he heard them arguing about it and evidently, Nayeon lost. 

“I'm not coming with you—no! Why would you let him come with—we're supposed to return him with no—Don't look at me like that, Im Nayeon, you brought this to yourself!”

It sounded like they might be talking about him, but he really didn’t have it in him to be curious about it, he had enough to worry about. 

“We’re out of healing salves,” Nayeon told him after Jihyo stormed away, clearly not pleased about something. “Jeongyeonie’s gone to Rosevale at the moment, she won’t be back until later in the evening. I’d love to go to the Healer’s guild to get you some, but we promised you’d be back before lunchtime, so… We’ll divide and conquer, Chae will get you the salve and a healer, and we’ll get you home,” her eyes flitted over him, lips pulled into a small grimace.

“It’s fine, Noona, just a few scratches,” Felix told her reassuringly. It’s touching how much she seemed to care, but it really wasn’t a big deal. “I don’t even need them, it doesn’t hurt. Give it a few days and I’ll be good as new.”

Nayeon let out a mirthless laugh. “We don’t have a few days,” she said dryly. 

Felix just stared at her in confusion, but she didn’t elaborate. 

“Actually, we have exactly thirty minutes,” Sana said cheerily as she hooked her arm with Nayeon’s. “C’mon, let’s keep it to one strike. I don’t think we’ll survive any more than that.”

Now, they’re standing in front of the palace, and Felix couldn’t help but notice how stiff Nayeon and Sana were. Actually, they weren’t even this nervous yesterday, and Sana’s signature cheerfulness was all but gone.

They got off the carriage and went up the stairs towards the front door, Nayeon on his right and Sana on his left, both weirdly tense and silent. So tense and silent that only Felix had the thought to thank their coachman. 

As they got closer to the front door, he was just about to ask if they were alright when it burst open, startling the heck out of all three of them.

“Lix hyung, you’re back! I’m—” he didn’t get to hear what Jeongin was going to say, because his friend came to a sudden halt, smile slipping as he stared at him.

“You’re hurt!” Hyunjin announced loudly like he wanted the whole palace to know or something, stepping closer as he gave him a once-over. “What happened?” there was genuine concern in his voice though, so maybe he just didn’t realize he had been that loud.

“I’m fine, it's…” he trailed off when he saw Minho appear in the doorway, immediately catching Felix’s eyes. He could almost hear the moment the pin dropped, the moment the expectant look shifted, the moment his expression darkened. 

Immediately, Minho turned to Nayeon, laser-focused. “What happened?” he asked, and Felix would like to state that he never really thought that Minho was scary, but he kinda was right now. 

It didn’t help that Chan was now there right beside him and—never mind. Did he say Minho was scary? Chan looked at least twice as scary. He was always so nice and kind and considerate that seeing that expression on his face was so strange and unnerving.

All of this because of a few scratches? 

Jeongin should be glad he was no longer working in the fields because Felix had seen him dangerously close to plowing his feet instead of the soil too many times than he’d like, those two would have a stroke if they got to see Jeongin work in the fields. At least whenever he gardens here with Minho, they mostly stuck to watering the plants and fertilizing them, nothing that involved big heavy equipment that could possibly impale parts of their bodies.

“Where’s the Court Healer?” Changbin asked as he folded his arms, face pulled into a frown. 

They’d all been not-so-happy about his decision to tag along with the mages, so he guessed he should’ve expected this welcome. He was grateful for it, he had the sweetest friends, he swore to the Fates, but maybe he should have insisted they go for those healing salves and risk being late instead of this.

“The Court Healer is currently dispatched to Rosevale, Your Highness,” Nayeon said apologetically. 

“Well get another healer, then,” Minho interjected without missing a beat, and suddenly it wasn't so surprising, how tense they were the moment their carriage pulled in front of the palace.

“It was my fault,” Felix blurted out, because he couldn’t just let them take the fall like that. “I… fell into a particularly thick bush,” he added brilliantly. 

The moment their eyes and attention were directed back at him, he started regretting his life choices. He should’ve let them take the fall, they don’t live here.  

On the other hand, he did, which meant he had nowhere to go and he probably had to sit through one of Minho’s lengthy lectures about how dangerous the forest was or whatever. He should’ve kept his mouth shut.

Minho threw him a particularly nasty glare, and he could totally see the promise behind it—he wasn’t going to let this go. “I want them here within the next hour,” he said tersely.

“Of course, Your Highness,” Sana agreed quickly as flashed them a reassuring smile that looked a lot more nervous than reassuring. “We’ll make sure of that.”

Minho simply narrowed his eyes at her for a long moment before replying, “Good,” he said, tone clipped. “I believe I specifically requested that…”

Felix felt a gentle squeeze on his arm, and Minho’s voice faded to the background as he turned to find Jeongin, who was still looking at him like he was going to keel over and bleed to death sometime soon. “You’re really okay, hyung?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Felix replied truthfully. “It doesn’t even hurt. You know how the forest is, thick bushes, lots of trees and low-hanging branches, and…” he trailed off when he noticed how rambling about the forest wasn’t making it better at all, if anything, Jeongin looked less assured and even more upset. “And, yeah. I’m great."

His friend let out a soft sigh, brow furrowed like he was in deep thought. “At least you’re back,” he grumbled moodily, stepping closer as he pulled him into a hug; something he didn’t realize he needed. Felix returned the hug gratefully, closing his eyes as he felt the younger rest his chin on his shoulder, his entire body relaxing and practically melting into the hug…

Only to flinch not even a few seconds later because the moment he closed his eyes, his mother’s pale face greeted him; unmoving, sheet-white, lifeless.

Felix quickly pulled away, stepping back to put a little bit of distance because he couldn’t—he shouldn’t be too close to him, to all of them, no matter how much he wanted to.

He was supposed to drink the tea. 

“Hyung..?” The uncertainty in Jeongin’s voice made everything come into focus, and Felix could see a mixture of confusion and concern in his eyes. 

“Sorry, I…” he had no idea what to say, but he couldn’t be here; he shouldn’t be here. “I’m kinda tired,” he said lamely. And then without catching anyone’s eyes, he quickly made his way into the palace, towards the west wing, towards the safety of his room.

He might’ve run, for all he knew, because once he was safely inside his room, he noticed how heavily he was breathing. 

Closing the door shut, he leaned his back on the door, trying to calm his racing heart. He could see now, how much he’d grown complacent. He’d sacrificed so much to make sure that they were safe, and he had been risking all of that just because he was greedy. Felix shouldn’t be so close to them, he was never supposed to be this close to them.

He could feel the persistent ache just a little better now that he remembered everything—the gaping wound he'd always managed to keep at the back of his mind was suddenly impossible to ignore.  

Shoulders slumped in defeat, he turned around, hand reaching out to the door. Reaching for the key that had always been there, forgotten and lodged in the keyhole.

He only hesitated for a brief moment before turning it, hearing a satisfying click as it locked—quiet, final. 

 

---

 

Chan just wanted to have one day. 

One day when he could forget his worries for a moment, a day to just be.

Maybe that was why he made the decision to sneak out to see his mother. Damn, he had no idea he’d need to sneak out at this age, but apparently he did, because he knew there was no way he could visit her without at least one or two of his mates tagging along. 

That was alright, that was more than alright, actually, but Chan needed a little bit of space, just for today. 

Of course, that didn't mean he was going to be reckless about it. He was going to let some of the royal guards tag along, that was fine. He could ask them to wait outside or something, but he obviously couldn't do that with his mates. 

Chan just really needed some time away to think. 

There was much to worry about, from the state of the Kingdom to their insane idea to court Felix and pretend he was their soulmate, Chan was quite surprised he hadn’t had a mental breakdown or something. 

He was more or less relieved that his… feelings for Felix didn’t ruin anything, but the guilt was very much still there. And with everything that was going on, he firmly believed that they should do this whole thing later, when things were better.

But alas, his mates were stubborn. Minho and Jisung had already started browsing for their courting gifts, and while he was trying to be discreet about it, Chan knew that Hyunjin had started preparing something as well. He was a softie, and a huge romantic. So while Hyunjin’s attempt to appear aloof was adorable, it did not fool anyone.

Hyunjin didn’t get the chance to be courted or to court anyone, so it wasn’t surprising. He was planning to court Jeongin, but they all knew that would have the opposite effect on the younger.

“You know, we haven’t really courted you just yet,” Hyunjin had said, expression hopeful. “Would you be open to—”

“I will hate you forever,” Jeongin deadpanned. He also knew none of them courted each other, there was no way he was going to agree to that.

“Oh… Uh, okay. Good talk.”

“No offense, hyung,” Jeongin grimaced, face apologetic. “But I’m really not into that kind of thing.”

Chan was willing to bet if Felix was the one asking the question, he’d fall to his knees or something. Hypothetically speaking, even if Jeongin hated flowers with all fibers of his being, he would probably stutter and swoon like a teenager if Felix were to give him a bouquet.

Chan would bet on that. 

In any case, Felix was sweet and kind and he was always smiley, he also welcomed flirting if Lee Minhyuk’s brief visit was any indication, so he probably would be fine with being courted. 

Would Felix be open to a courtship with them, though?

That was another problem entirely. Jeongin always said that he thought the world of them, but Felix seemed like he thought the world of everyone, so Chan wasn’t particularly confident.

There were seven of them but none of them was experienced in courtship, or in winning anyone’s heart in general, so it was perfectly normal to be apprehensive. It was perfectly normal to be worried about being rejected. In a way, although it had been quite challenging, Chan was grateful that none of his mates rejected each other. 

Jeongin almost did, but he didn’t. 

Fates, Chan hoped Felix liked them too. He hoped this would all work out. Lying to their parents and the entire Kingdom seemed less scary now that he was reminded that there was the possibility of rejection.

Chan would be lying if he said he hadn’t started thinking of a good courting gift just yet, but he’d rather not think about it, especially not today. Not today, because today he had been feeling quite anxious from the moment he woke up—like there was something itching at the back of his mind, but didn’t know what.

That was why he decided that he needed to get out of there. To clear his mind, to get some time to think things through. Not just about the courtship, but about the issues of the Kingdom that had been plaguing his mind day and night. 

As his parents’ house came into view, he found himself letting out a relieved sigh.

His mother, much like Minho’s mother, declined the offer to move into Redmont permanently. She’d quite enjoyed her life as it was, and while they couldn’t exactly let her stay at their old house—it wasn’t in the outer districts by any means, but it wasn’t in the inner district either. Chan was one of the heirs, so they couldn’t risk that. 

As a compromise, they’d let her pick a house in the inner district. 

Chan knew that she’d have preferred a small, homey house, but unfortunately none of the houses in the inner district fitted that description. It was where the nobles resided, so they were all similarly large with posh designs and huge gardens. 

He wasn’t all that surprised when his mother picked one closer to the edge of the inner district—where the lesser nobles lived. She got along really well with their old neighbors, some of them had become very good friends with her, and she definitely wasn’t planning on losing that anytime soon, so she made a compromise. A house in the inner district, too big, but safe and protected enough for her and his father, and of course for Chan whenever he visited. And she’d picked one that was as close to the outer district as possible, so that she wouldn’t be too far from her friends. Chan knew that she still visited them at least once a week, and she’d invite them home, too.

Chan was happy for her. He liked how she compromised, how she sacrificed her preference, but not entirely. He wouldn’t want her to force herself to stay at the palace if she wasn’t all that comfortable with it. 

“How are the boys?” his mother asked warmly as she brewed a cup of coffee for him. “How’s dear Jeongin faring?”

“They're well,” Chan replied distractedly. “Jeongin’s settling in well, too.”

All things considered, Jeongin was settling in exceptionally well after that initial hurdle. Chan knew he had Felix to thank for that, the freckled man had stayed with Jeongin throughout it all, always there for him whenever the younger man needed a shoulder to lean on. He could imagine how much harder it would have been for Jeongin if he was here all alone, if Felix wasn’t there with him.

“How's Changbinnie?” his mother asked as she settled into her seat right across from him. “I’m surprised he didn't tag along with you today.”

“He’s well. He’s uh, a bit busy today.”

Honestly, Chan just wanted to spend the day with his mother. He loved his mates beyond anything, but he really needed this.

Changbin had caught him when he was trying to sneak out with the guards. But he didn’t try to stop him, in fact, he looked like he expected this. 

‘Just be back before Minho hyung realizes you’re gone,’ He’d said with an understanding smile—fates, Chan loved him.

His mother smiled knowingly at him, like she totally knew he was lying. She definitely knew, she had always been able to read him like a book. “And how are you, Channie? How are you feeling lately?”

For a second, Chan thought of lying. 

Of deflecting, of saying empty, meaningless words because he didn't want her to worry about him. 

But then, that wasn't why he came here. 

“I… I don't know.”

He caught her eyes then, gentle and understanding—silently urging him to continue.

“I just—” he sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know.”

She hummed quietly, almost thoughtfully as she brought her cup closer to her lips. She didn’t press, nor did she urge him to continue this time. His mother just sat there, eyes patient as she let him make the decision—if he wanted to talk about it, she’d listen, if he didn’t, they’d speak about something else. 

Admittedly, Chan didn’t exactly want to talk about it because he hated making her worry, but he needed to. 

“It's like… I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going on, I don't know what I’m supposed to do,” Chan continued after a while. Once he’d started, the words just spilled over, entirely impossible to stop. “It feels like things are spiraling out of control. Everyone’s lost and I’m lost and it feels like things just keep piling up on top of each other. I did things I wasn't supposed to do and the forest is becoming worse and we still have no idea what happened that day at—”

He cut himself off when he realized he was losing control of the words, of what he wanted to say. 

“I'm sorry,” he muttered as he shook his head. “It's complicated.”

Lips curling upwards, his mother regarded him fondly. “When is it ever not?” She paused before continuing. “We’re very proud of you, you do know that, right?” 

That didn’t necessarily help solve anything, but he always felt a little better whenever his mother told him that. “...Thanks, mom.”

She regarded him silently for a brief moment before she spoke.

“I can imagine how tough things can be, but don’t forget that we’re all here for you. You’re not doing this alone,” She said. “If anything worries you, you can always come to us. That’s what we’re for, you know? Your father and I.”

He used to do just that, a long time ago. He’d come to her for the littlest things, even when it’s something so small and minor.

“We’re adults now, Mother. We should be able to do things ourselves.”

“You’re being silly, sweetheart,” Her eyes crinkled in amusement. “Even the king doesn’t lead this kingdom all by himself.”

“But that’s not—that’s different.”

She raised her eyebrows at him, like she was saying really now?

Chan sighed. 

“Okay, let’s talk about it. You’re worried about the forest, yes?” She paused, waiting for his nod. “We have found a solution, have we not?”

“Well, yes…”

“The walls. Now that we’ve built the walls, we don’t really have to worry about the forest anymore. Your father said it’s keeping the animals at bay, the Kingdom is well-protected now.” 

She definitely had no idea about the magic then, but Chan was not surprised. He’d suspected that only a few people knew about it, heck, they probably wouldn’t know about it if Seungmin didn’t push. 

“I guess I’m just worried it’s not gonna be enough,” Chan responded glumly. He wasn’t entirely sure how he could ask for her opinion and help without really telling her about it. 

He didn’t know if he was allowed to tell her about it. He knew that the whole thing was being kept under wraps. People know that something was going on, that the animals were going on a rampage and all that, but they had no idea that there was magic involved; or at least that there was something more.  

“You’re just like your father,” She commented fondly. “Always planning, always worrying. He’s been asking me not to go out of the inner district lately, can you believe him? The whole capital is as far as it could be from the woods, and he still worries.”

That did sound like his father. Unfortunately for her, Chan agreed with him. “There’s no harm in being cautious.”

She shook her head slightly, lips pulled into a small smile. “Being cautious is wise, but not when it’s over the top, honey.”

Chan supposed that was fair, but it was also not entirely fair, because she didn’t have the whole picture. She didn’t know the things he knew; like the strange gatherings, for one. She definitely knew about the break-in at Redmont, but his mother was nothing if not carefree. She seemed quite convinced that they got it all under control, that whoever did it would be apprehended sooner or later. He did, too. Not anymore, though, because even now, no one had been caught yet. 

Sometimes Chan wished he could be as carefree as her. 

“Stop worrying so much, hmm? Things will work out.”

In all honesty, Chan didn’t just come here because he needed a break—from being an heir, from being the prince’s mate, from being one of the future leaders of the kingdom—he also came because he missed her. His mother had always been carefree, at least, compared to his father. She’s not a worrier, but she was always straight with him, so if she’d heard anything that implied that things were certainly not alright, she’d have told him. 

She was still in close contact with her friends, their old neighbors, and the like, who were most certainly not a part of the upper class, so if there had been any significant changes, she would definitely know. 

The fact that she didn’t mention anything like that was reassuring. That was one less thing to worry about. Maybe the rumors about the rebellion were a stretch.

“I guess you’re right,” He relented, a small but genuine smile blooming on his face. “Things will work out.”

Their conversation then shifted to lighter topics, his mother told him about how she was feeling a little under the weather last week, and as an effort to make things easier for her, his father decided to do the cooking. Chan laughed with her as she described how the meal tasted—not bad, but certainly not good either. 

“It was sweet of him to try,” She said, smiling. “But I wasn’t feeling so good that day, so a delicious meal would make everything a little better.” 

She then proceeded to tell him how Changbin’s mom came over not long after, bringing fruits and freshly cooked meals, thank fates for that. 

Chan laughed with her. 

But then, just as he started to relax, to forget the restless thoughts that had been bothering him the past few weeks, his mother asked a sudden question.

“How’s that young man—Felix, was it?”

That almost made him choke on coffee, entirely caught off guard. 

He brought his hand as he stifled a cough. “What?”

“Your friend, the one Heir Seok brought as his date the other day. He’s Jeongin’s friend, isn't he? I heard he came all the way here just to accompany him. What a lovely young man.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Chan said brilliantly. “Yeah, he's lovely,” Fuck. “I mean, yes, he’s a wonderful— friend,” He tried again, clearing his throat as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. 

His mother raised her eyebrows for a moment before her expression turned rather thoughtful.

That was not a good sign. 

“He’s really nice,” Chan added quickly, trying to save himself. Sure, he wanted to talk to her about a few of his worries when he decided to visit, but he wasn’t planning to talk about their whole… situation with Felix. It’s too complicated, and Minho’s plan involved keeping their soulmate situation under wraps and making people believe that Felix was theirs to begin with. Fates. He couldn’t believe they were actually doing it. Minho was insane, they shouldn’t consider any of his ideas. “We’ve actually become good friends with him as well. So… yeah. Uh, why’d you ask?”

She eyed him thoughtfully for a brief moment, and don't get him wrong—Chan was always grateful to have a mother like her; someone who understood him so well, who always did her best to understand him. 

But maybe she understood him too well sometimes. He wished she didn't. 

At least, not right now. 

“Well, I was just wondering how he’s been doing,” She said lightly as she leaned back into her chair. “Your father brought him up the other day, asking if he was one of the boys you used to play with back in the day—can you believe him? That man, he could never remember your friends’ names,” She sighed exasperatedly. “Ridiculous, given that he has no problem remembering the names of his coworkers.”

Chan chuckled at that, his nervousness fading into confusion. His father asked if Felix was one of his childhood friends? He didn't even look like any of his friends—besides, they’d explained to him that he came with Jeongin all the way from Duskwood. 

“I’m glad he’s well,” His mother mused, interrupting his line of thought. “Him and Jeongin both. Keep an eye on them, alright? Especially Jeongin. I can only imagine how tough it is, to get thrown so suddenly into all of this.”

Chan straightened. “Of course, Mother,” He said. “I will.”

“And bring them along sometimes, will you? Your boys. We can all have lunch together, I’ll cook something delicious.”

“They’ll come with me next time,” Chan promised, and she smiled at that. 

He spent another hour with her, just chatting. While none of his problems had been solved by coming here, he felt significantly lighter when he bid his goodbye. She always had that effect on him.

When he realized he hadn’t spent that long at her place—barely over three hours, he told the guards to head towards the outer districts. Minho was quite occupied when he left, so he could definitely afford a detour.

He found himself in his old neighborhood, on the street he grew up in—him and Changbin.

As he walked past his old house, he couldn’t take his eyes off it, a feeling of nostalgia surging from deep inside his gut. It was in good condition, not much had changed, at least on the outside. 

He didn’t want to alarm anyone by standing there and eyeballing the house, so he just slowed down as he savored the view.

Chan ended up walking aimlessly around the neighborhood, when was the last time he walked down these streets? He couldn’t remember. He was quite surprised to see how things had remained the same for the most part.

He ran into some familiar faces, and they greeted him with small, nervous smiles, head bowed. 

That was… not so pleasant. He knew that it was a given, it had been years since he last saw them, and now he wasn’t Chan, the son of a knight—he was Chan, the heir to the crown. But still, it made him kinda sad. 

His thoughts drifted to the old days, when there was just him and Changbin, when they didn’t know that they were soulmates to the crown prince. 

Those days were simpler. 

He had no idea where he took a wrong turn, but he eventually realized that he didn’t recognize the street and the buildings around him. 

Taking a quick glance behind, he could see that his guards were still there, a good distance away as he requested. He’d told them he wanted to take a stroll, and he’d asked them to keep their distance so that at least he could feel like he was alone. 

Well, he didn’t know where he was but they probably do, so he just needed to go to them when he’s ready to head back. 

Relieved, he made a move to continue down the streets, only to stop in his tracks not even a second later. 

There were two men standing in front of him, and they were staring at him like he was a ghost. 

His brain short-circuited for a moment before he realized, oh, these were his friends.

That was why they were so familiar.

Jaemin and Yoonhak.

Chan almost couldn’t believe his eyes, it had been so long since he last saw them. Actually, he was pretty sure that it had been more than a decade, at the very least. He couldn’t really remember when was the last time he saw them. 

He missed them. 

They used to be inseparable, the four of them. Thick as thieves, they were like his brothers. It was a lot harder to hang out and meet once he and Changbin had moved into the palace, there were just so many things to do and learn that they didn’t really have that much time to themselves. A pang of regret seeped into his chest, they used to play together almost every other day back then, and now it had been years since he last saw them. How did that happen?

“Hey,” Chan greeted them, a hint of nervousness bleeding through his voice. “It’s so good to see you guys,” he smiled as he stared at them. It had been too long since he last saw them, they seemed well. He was genuinely happy to see them that way. “I’d come over a few times when I was in the area, but you guys weren’t around. I should've taken Binnie with me, he’s always—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jaemin spat. 

For a brief moment, his mind struggled to comprehend the words he’d heard, he couldn't believe what he was hearing; did he hear that right?

“...What?”

“I said, shut the fuck up.” 

Yoonhak placed his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, like he was trying to keep him from… from what? From jumping at Chan? What was going on?

“Jaemin-ah—”

“Don’t call me that,” Jaemin snapped, there was something threatening about how he said that. “You don't get to call me that.” 

Yoonhak seemed completely nervous now, lips pulled into a grimace as his eyes darted anxiously between Chan and Jaemin. “Hey, let's just go—”

“I don't…” Chan paused, confused. If he didn’t know better, he’d have thought that Jaemin was mad at him, he looked downright pissed, actually, staring at him like he was a stranger, with so much hostility. “What's wrong? What did I do?”

“What did you do?” Jaemin repeated, chuckling humorlessly. “What didn't you do? Is it not enough, all those fancy clothing and lavish lifestyles you have going on—you’re just going to bleed us all dry?” He spat on the ground, awfully close to Chan’s boots. Chan was just too perplexed to react. “When will it ever be enough?”

“What—”

“I’m so fucking sick and tired of your shit,” Jaemin declared, meeting Chan’s gaze readily, a burning rage behind his eyes. “You don’t deserve to be a king, you and your merry band of mates. You’re freaks.”

Here’s the thing.

Chan might be confused, and entirely dumbfounded by the entire situation. He couldn’t figure out what he did wrong, because he couldn’t even remember when he last met them, but nothing gave them the right to talk that way about his mates. 

He stepped forward, anger bubbling in his chest because they were his friends—his brothers. How could he say that about his mates?

“Don’t speak ill of my mates,” He challenged sharply, he stepped forward as he squared his shoulders. “I don’t know what your problem is, but you can’t speak—”

Pain exploded on his face, right on his left cheekbone, making him stagger backward.

It took him a few seconds to realize that Jaemin had hit him.

It was an out-of-body experience, because never had he imagined his own brother would do this to him. His best friend. The person he grew up with, the person he’d known since he was practically in diapers.

He just stood there in complete shock, and watched as the royal guards rushed towards them, blades bared and ready for battle. He watched the way fear had crept into Jaemin’s face, even though the anger was still there. He watched the way Yoonhak was practically trembling, looking absolutely terrified. 

And Chan.

Chan had no idea how he was feeling. He was angry, yes, but he was also disappointed, hurt, and betrayed. 

He was heartbroken. 

The guards had started apprehending them now, and Chan knew that what they did was wrong, and that they were just reaping the consequences of their action, but they were his friends. They’d played together, laughed together, grew up together, so he couldn’t let that happen.

“Enough,” He finally said as he gained his composure, trying not to grimace at the pain. The guards immediately froze, heads snapping back at him. “Let them go.”

“Your Highness—”

“I provoked them, let them go.”

Instead of doing just that, the two guards froze. Chan could guess what they were thinking, they probably did not agree with his decision—which was understandable, but Chan wasn’t going to let his friends get apprehended just because they…

Just because they’re upset.

“Let’s not waste more time here, I need to get home now,” He said firmly.

The two guards exchanged equally helpless looks before they loosened their hold on his friends, stepping backward, but still positioned right in front of Chan, separating him from them like thick, tall walls. 

His friends didn’t waste any time, Yoonhak immediately grabbed Jaemin’s arm and pulled him, disappearing into the street without sparing Chan another glance. 

Once they were gone, the guards turned to look at him, worried expressions mirroring each other. 

“Thank you,” Chan told them, because he had no idea what would’ve happened if they didn’t step in—or if they refused to let his friends go. “Let’s go back now. I need to get home before anyone freaks out.”

They bowed their heads, and Mr. Goo, the older of the two, spoke up. “Of course, Your Highness.”

Suffice to say, the walk back to the carriage was quite awkward as Chan also voiced his request for this to be kept between them. He did not want them reporting to Mr. Kang, or to anyone else. 

He could tell that they were so close to arguing back this time, but they ended up accepting it, which was a relief. 

The rest of their walk was quiet, and Chan’s mind was very much occupied by his friends; he barely realized how far he had gone from where they’d parked the carriage. 

Why were they upset with him? 

He couldn’t remember anything bad happening when they last met—that had been years ago and he was pretty sure they didn’t even get to talk, he wanted to, but the two immediately excused themselves because they had errands to do or something like that. That meant whatever was upsetting them wasn’t because of that last meeting. 

If anything, it sounded like they were upset about… his lavish lifestyle? 

Obviously Chan was aware that he lived a very fortunate life at Silvercrest, he had plenty of food, plenty of clothes, plenty of everything… but he never bought anything that was outside of their budget. Granted, their budget was quite huge so it was quite impossible to go over it unless he was being extremely wasteful, but still.

He was aware of the changes he’d experienced in his life once Seungmin found them, how the restrictions he used to have when it came to spending money and wanting things no longer existed. He could get anything he wanted, even better, everything he could’ve wanted was there already. 

What did they say again, that he was bleeding them dry?

What did that mean? Were they referring to the taxes? That was the only thing he could think of, but the taxes… His parents never complained about the taxes, for as long as he could remember. None of their staff ever complained about the taxes, although Chan had to admit that he had no idea how much they were asking of their people, which left him feeling incompetent and pathetic.

It wasn’t one of their responsibilities, dealing with the taxes, so he wasn’t all that privy to it. The Capital as a whole was managed by Prince Seunggi, Seungmin’s uncle and the King’s brother. He couldn’t just march over to Redmont and demand him to explain about the taxes, could he?

No, he needed to think straight. Something didn’t make sense here. 

While they weren’t the ones who oversaw the Capital, they did receive reports on the satisfaction levels of the people of the capital quarterly, and Chan always paid close attention to those reports; They all cared about the people, they thought of them as their responsibility, so they’d always made sure to read those reports thoroughly and there had never been any mentions of this.

Has there been an increase in taxes recently?

That couldn’t be it. Even if that wasn’t their scope of responsibility, they would have been informed of something so significant. 

Chan was so deep in his thoughts that he barely registered the familiar clop of hooves on stone until the sound of wheels screeching against the road tore through the quietness of the neighborhood, jerking him out of his thoughts.

A rather familiar carriage loomed before him.

Before he could react, the carriage door burst open, revealing his worried, and very much uncoordinated mates. Faces flushed and brows creased with urgency, they rushed toward him, and Chan knew he was much too late. He’d have hoped that he could make it home before they’d come looking for him.

Minho’s eyes were scanning him sharply, but it was Changbin who reached him first. “What happened?” 

Here goes nothing.

“I met Jaemin and Yoonhak,” Chan said slowly. “And we got into a… squabble.”

Changbin blinked, looking like that wasn’t what he expected at all, hearing the names of their friends.

“You got into a squabble?” Minho repeated. He was saying the word like it was the most ridiculous word he’d ever heard, like Chan had said that he’d run into his old friends and started braiding their hair instead.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. I said something I shouldn’t have, and I offended them. We’re good now, though. Sorry for that, by the way, you guys must’ve felt it,” Chan explained, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He did feel guilty about it, in times like this, he hated how they could all feel each other’s pain. The guilt was made even worse now that he was lying to them—but was it a lie? His friends were definitely upset with him, it might’ve not been because of whatever he said at their brief meeting earlier, but it was still something. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what it was exactly, but he’d find out. Once he’d figured it out, he would tell his mates about it, but not now. 

Now, he’d ensure that his childhood friends didn’t get apprehended for assaulting a royal. 

A royal. That was who he was now. 

“Uh, no we’re not. We’re definitely not good,” Hyunjin argued back, his beautiful face pulled into a scowl. “They hurt you—they assaulted you, and that’s punishable by law. They’re—”

“They’re my friends, Hyunjin-ah,” Chan interrupted before he could finish. He glanced at Changbin for a split second, just to gauge his reaction and he almost reeled back at what he saw because Changbin’s whole expression had gone cold and blank, and so un-Changbin-like.  “And it was my bad, remember? I offended them, and they’ve apologized. Come on, let’s just go home.”

Chan turned to Minho, eyes pleading. 

Here’s the thing.

Sure, he was the oldest, and Minho respected him… most of the time. Minho was always the quieter one, anyway, and Chan was only a year older than him. In all honesty, Chan never really saw him as someone younger—Minho had always been so certain of himself, he had always had this glint in his eyes that made it look like he had everything figured out. Of course, Chan knew that it wasn’t the case; he was just like everybody else, he had his own fears and worries, but even then he’d always looked like he had everything under control. 

Sure, he could be quite… creative with the way he handled things, but that was just how he was. 

Chan’s favorite thing about Minho was how he’d always take up his opinion and qualms about him directly, but in private. That didn’t mean he never disagreed with Chan in front of their mates, of course—quite the contrary, that happened a lot—but in cases like this, Chan knew that while Minho was not going to let it go, he would save the arguments for later. Especially because Chan was silently begging him to.

That was something, at the very least. 

“Alright, let’s go,” Minho relented, which was way easier than Chan thought it’d be. “We’ll continue this later. Right now, we should get to the others as soon as possible, Seungmin looked like he was barely breathing when they left for Goldencrest.”

“Goldencrest?” Chan repeated, alarmed. “Why? What happened?”

Chan ended up sharing his carriage with Hyunjin, while Minho and Changbin went for theirs. He was relieved it was Hyunjin, if he had to be honest. 

Hyunjin filled him in on what happened, and Chan couldn’t help but worry. 

His day just kept getting worse, and worse.

The King summoned Seungmin out of nowhere? That had never happened before, so this couldn’t be anything good. Fates, Chan really hoped nothing happened to the Queen. He wouldn’t be able to bear watching Seungmin if anything happened to his mother. 

But then again, what else would it be? At the very least, it’s strange that he was only calling for Seungmin, and not all of them. 

Even if it was about the Queen, it was strange. 

Hyunjin kept stealing worried glances at him on their way there. 

Chan thought he did quite a good job at acting like it didn’t hurt anymore, but his face throbbed the entire time. Jaemin had a mean right hook.

When they finally arrived at Goldencrest, they rushed to find Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin—who were thankfully, alright.

In fact, they were more than alright.

Jisung had immediately started recounting the conversation they just had.

Chan couldn't believe Felix did that to the king.

He had a whole, new-found respect for the younger man. Not that he didn't respect him before, Chan respected him plenty, but it had just gone to the next level.

Jeongin stood beside him the entire time, nodding here and there and looking extremely proud. 

This was mirrored by Minho, who, for all intent and purposes, looked pleased. 

“I taught him well,” Minho said solemnly, nodding in approval. 

Hyunjin snorted at him. “You didn't teach him anything,” he argued. “Whenever you started lecturing him, he immediately abandoned his sense of hearing and went deep into his mind to think about horses or whatever, you know, to tune you out.”

“That’s you, Hwang Hyunjin,” Minho’s eyebrows twitched. “He listens to me well.”

“Seungmin said he’s gonna marry him,” Jisung announced sagely.

Seungmin spluttered, turning as red as tomatoes as he sent Jisung a betrayed look. “I was just—I mean—”

“We have yet to court him and you want to jump right into marriage?” Changbin laughed, amused. 

“Straightforward,” Minho commented, looking thoughtful. “I like it. Maybe we can just invite him on the big day. Make him wear something white, and just get on with it.”

“We can’t do that!” Jeongin immediately argued, affronted. Well, he’d only known them for a few months, so it was understandable that he sometimes couldn’t tell when Minho’s joking and when he was being serious. To be fair, Minho sounded at least half-serious to Chan, too. 

“Hmm? Why not?”

“We just can’t!” Jeongin replied sharply as he threw his hands.  “That’s not right.”

“Well,” Minho began, and Chan knew that he was going to get one heck of a headache today, he had a feeling he would. “You’ve been following him around like a lovesick puppy for months, and he still thinks that you have a mysterious lover back home. I think it's time we consider my idea.”

For a moment, Jeongin simply gaped at Minho, mouth moving like he was trying to say something but nothing came out. Minho just watched him like he was a cute kitten playing with a ball of yarn. 

“I haven’t been—following him around like, like a…” He tried, before he abandoned what he was going to say entirely, lips pulled into a scowl. “I think your idea sucks.”

Minho placed his hand on Jeongin’s shoulder, whether he was really trying to comfort him or he was just trying to rile him up even more, Chan would never know. “Don’t worry, it’s okay,” Minho said sympathetically. “Now that I’m on board, we’ll get through that thick head of his in no time.”

Jeongin just stared at him like he’d said the most offensive thing ever. Chan could understand, that was kinda a low blow. 

“Give him a break, he’s trying his best,” Hyunjin defended Jeongin rather passionately. Jeongin looked even more offended by that, judging from the dirty glare he shot at him. Hyunjin widened his eyes at Jeongin like he couldn’t believe how ungrateful he was being. 

Chan’s face throbbed. He wanted to lock himself in his bedroom and get some sleep. 

Thankfully, everyone agreed that they should go back home now. They all had a rather eventful day today, but they went home unscathed. 

Mostly unscathed.

They’d stumbled into the Court Mage and the Court Healer as they were making their way outside. The two had just come back from Havenwood; and as expected Minho, Jisung and Jeongin immediately bombarded them with question after question the moment they spotted them. 

Chan sent Momo an apologetic look. He knew Minho had been bothering her non-stop prior to this, trying to get her to agree to let him tag along, so he could clearly see the dread in her eyes the moment she saw them.

Despite that, she answered their questions and confirmed that yes, Felix was alive and unharmed. Yes, they had their eyes on him. No, he hadn’t disappeared into the forest. Yes, he will be back tomorrow, at noon.

They also asked Jeongyeon to take a look at him and heal him. 

When the Court Mage asked what happened, Chan lied without thinking—that he had been distracted and ended up tripping and hurting himself. He was glad that none of his mates corrected him.

Unsurprisingly, Seungmin and Jisung were clearly furious when Hyunjin told them what happened to Chan. Even Jeongin looked like he didn’t agree entirely with his decision to let them off just like that, which was surprising.

They all kinda hovered around him for the rest of the day.

In times like this, he felt a little guilty because he knew he was always much worse than them. He’d never admit this out loud, but his mates were right, he was a worrier. Especially when it came to them. 

There wasn’t really much he could do about it, though. Worrying about them was like breathing nowadays. 

Chan supposed it was only fair that he put up with them this time. He did get hurt, even if he was fully healed now thanks to Jeongyeon. Chan knew better than anyone that there was nothing logical about worrying most of the time, so he said nothing. 

Jisung was following him everywhere. Seungmin kept staring at him like he wanted to come over and talk, but every time Chan caught his eyes he’d avert his gaze and sigh. 

Changbin…

Changbin, Chan wasn’t sure about, because he had been trying his best to avoid being together in the same room with Changbin, just the two of them. He knew that Changbin would start questioning him the second that happened, and Chan wasn’t quite ready for that. 

He was still trying to wrap his head around what happened, so he was really not ready to explain what really happened, especially to Changbin. Changbin knew Jaemin and Yoonhak personally; they were his friends as much as they were Chan’s friends, so Chan knew that he did not buy his story. Not at all. 

Chan was able to avoid him until the next day because none of the others really left him alone, thank Fates for that, but he knew he had to talk to Changbin sooner or later.

Thankfully, Felix will be back today, which means everyone will have someone else to fixate on.

Honestly, he didn’t even need to wait until he was back, because letters from Duskwood came this morning.

For Jeongin, and for Felix.

Now, there was nothing wrong with that, but there was a letter from Lee Minhyuk himself. 

Mr. Kang had handed all of the letters to Jeongin, who had been rather delighted when he first heard that the letters from his family and friends came. He was splitting the pile in two, one for him and one for Felix, when his expression soured.

Curious, Hyunjin immediately leaned closer to see what it was, before he made an affronted noise, muttering Minhyuk’s name in disgust.

Honestly, Chan felt kinda bad for the man. He had never done anything wrong, he just… flirted with the man who… was not their soulmate, which, there was nothing wrong with that, but—

Damn it. He wouldn’t know how to justify their antagonism towards him.

Now, Jeongin and Hyunjin were sitting side by side, glaring at the envelope like it was an abomination. 

Jisung had come over, hovering behind them. 

“Should we burn it?” Jisung asked nervously, breaking the silence. 

Hyunjin and Jeongin straightened as they turned towards each other. Chan couldn’t exactly see the face Hyunjin was making because he was right beside him, but Jeongin looked like he was massively disappointed in himself for considering the idea. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Seungmin declared as he rolled his eyes. “Forget courting, he would hate us if you do that. I don’t see why you’re so concerned about Lee Minhyuk. He’s not even his type.”

Now that was an interesting thing to say.

“Oh?” Minho joined in, intrigued. “And what, pray tell, is his type?” 

Seungmin turned to him, a superior smirk he had just for Minho plastered on his face. 

“Strong, muscular men, obviously.”

What?

“What?” Jisung echoed Chan’s thoughts out loud, frowning at Seungmin like it made absolutely no sense. Because it made no sense. Chan had no idea how Seungmin came to that conclusion. 

“What, none of you noticed how he gushes at the guards? Not even you, hyung?” Seungmin asked as he turned to Chan. “You’re there all the time, you even spar with them with him watching. You can’t be serious?”

Chan just stared at him blankly. He heard the words, but his mind wasn't exactly keeping up. 

Seungmin shook his head like he was disappointed in him. 

“Anyways, that’s his type. I wouldn’t know how muscular Lee Minhyuk was, but I’d say he seemed more…soft—from the outside, anyway. I’m pretty sure Chan hyung’s better. You’re doing a good job, by the way, just keep sparring in front of him, he likes it,” Seungmin said seriously, ignoring how Chan was turning beet red as he went on, turning to Changbin. “You, are gonna be our dark horse.” 

If Chan wasn’t so baffled himself, he’d have laughed at Changbin’s face. 

“That was it?” Jeongin muttered to himself, looking like he was having a mind-boggling revelation. “Muscles?”

Minho scoffed. “You got that conclusion just because he gushes at the guards? Please, he gushes at everyone. ”

Seungmin made a face at him. “Did you forget that incident, where he was this close to getting a punch to the face, and what did he say again? ‘Woah, you’re strong’?”

Ah. Yeah, there was that incident. 

“He was just being an idiot!”

“Well, that too. But I’m pretty sure that's his type. Strong, muscular men. Just strong would work too, do you not remember how excited he was when he was telling us about how cool Yeonjun was when he stepped up and intimidated the man to let him go?”

Alright, that was fair. Chan had thought that Felix was just being, well, dumb, but he guessed that was one way to see it. 

A gasp, and then Hyunjin was cradling his hand as he grimaced in pain—they all felt that; he'd moved too fast and bumped it on the edge of the table. “I forgot to tell you!” He exclaimed. “Lee Minhyuk, he gave him a ring!”

“He gave him a what?” Jisung repeated, eyes wide-blown.

Hyunjin nodded vigorously, approving of Jisung's reaction. “Felix thinks it’s a friendship ring. But it’s a seal of pledge, it has the Lee family crest on it.”

Minhyuk gave Felix a seal of pledge? That was… something. 

In all honesty, Chan didn’t know much about the seal of pledges. He knew that it was something the nobles do, but it was outdated—it was mostly just a gesture between soulmates or lovers nowadays, although what it symbolizes still holds true. 

Nobles took their customs seriously, even if it was not commonly practiced anymore. 

“What’s a seal of pledge?” Jeongin asked, confused.

Great, learning about the seal of pledge was not going to help Jeongin’s mood. Chan wasn’t particularly thrilled to learn that Lee Minhyuk was in fact, trying to court Felix, but he’d prefer if there was no letter-destroying, please. It was too early in the morning, he hadn’t even finished his coffee just yet.

Jeongin’s face twitched after Hyunjin finished explained what it was. “They’re just friends,” He insisted. 

Hyunjin frowned, deep in thought. “Well, yeah. Lix called it a friendship ring, that was probably what he told him. I don’t know, maybe he’s trying to court him discreetly.”

“Discreetly. Like, keeping the fact that you’re courting the person from that same person you’re trying to court?” Jeongin asked incredulously.

“I don’t know!”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

Hyunjin scoffed. “Calling a seal of pledge a friendship ring does not make any sense. There’s nothing friendly about it, it’s a grand gesture.”

That silenced Jeongin, and the rest of the room. Chan caught Seungmin’s eyes across the table.

“Are you sure it had the Lee family crest?” Jisung asked as he crossed his arms. 

“Am I sure it had the Lee family crest?” Hyunjin repeated the words mockingly, frustrated. “Yes! I’m sure! Why is everyone ganging up on me?”

“No one is ganging up on you, Hyunjin-ah,” Chan swooped in before everything turned into even more of a mess. “We’re just trying to understand the—”

“Who cares if he gave him a seal of pledge?” Minho interrupted, finally speaking up. “Felix knows it as a friendship ring, which means the actual intention behind it is not conveyed,” He said. “Ergo, there is no courtship happening.”

Minho paused, letting the words sink.

“As much as it pains me to say, Seungmin is right,” He went on, completely ignoring Seugmin’s half-hearted glare. “There’s no need to worry about Lee Minhyuk. He’s not even here.”

Truly, Chan had no idea where Minho got his confidence from, but he was happy for him. He’s got enough confidence for all seven of them, apparently. As much as he did not want to admit it, when Minho and Seungmin agreed on something, they tended to be right. 

“Yeah!” Jisung suddenly agreed. “Who’d want to be with Lee Minhyuk, anyway. He’s—just a normal guy.”

“We’re all just normal guys,” Seungmin deadpanned. 

“Oh, shut up! You know what I mean.”

“I really, really don’t.”

“We’re great!” Jisung said exasperatedly. “And he’s—just okay.”

Hyunjin snorted before he spoke, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “He’s just okay, wow. And we’re great, so we’re the obvious choice.” 

Jisung made an offended face at him. “I don’t know him well enough to know his weaknesses!”

“Newsflash, none of us knows him!”

“Exactly!”

“Wait a second,” Hyunjin paused, turning to Jeongin, eyes widening. “You know him. Tell us all about his weaknesses!”

Jeongin, who seemingly had not moved past the topic of muscles, blinked owlishly when he realized he was being addressed. 

They waited.

Jeongin’s face twitched. “He’s a noble,” He grumbled.

Hyunjin froze.

And then he facepalmed himself so hard it seemed like more of a smack. 

“Hah! He’s a noble!” Jisung cackled, sounding absolutely delighted that someone other than him said something dumb. “That’s so insightful, thank you!”

Jeongin’s now glaring daggers at him.

“I’m a noble!” Hyunjin screeched dramatically, and okay, maybe Chan would’ve preferred them hovering nervously around him than this madness. Hyunjin then pointed towards Seungmin. “He’s the crown prince! If that’s his weakness, we’re even worse!”

Jeongin just glared pointedly at the table, unable to argue back.

Chan really thought that they were going to stop there, but his hopes and dreams crashed as Jisung opened his mouth. “We? I’m not a noble. I’m still better than him.”

Hyunjin turned to him, face in disbelief and defintely offended because he had been lumped with the nobles when he was, in fact, a noble.

The two started bickering, and Chan just tuned them out, because he really can’t do this today. 

He glanced at Minho, only to find that he was staring back at him.

Chan threw a flat, unimpressed look at Minho, hoping that it sufficiently communicated his rapidly growing apprehension on this whole plan to start a courtship. Funnily enough, Minho looked slightly less confident now than five minutes ago. 

Perhaps he finally realized that they really had no idea about how to court someone and actually succeed at it. 

“You know, I didn’t realize this before,” Changbin piped up, he had been watching them in amusement the entire time, content with just witnessing the chaos. The room quieted down as everyone turned to him. “But you guys are such losers.”

The room exploded.

“Yah! You’re the biggest loser, hyung!”

“I’m a loser? Don’t you remember that time when you—”

Chan didn’t really hear much, after that. He refused to. He just closed his eyes as he tuned them out and imagined himself elsewhere; somewhere peaceful and quiet, like a lake or a meadow. 

After that whole ordeal, Chan spent the rest of his morning with Seungmin since he really needed some quiet and he was not ready for any conversation about Yoonhak and Jaemin. He was thinking of requesting the tax reports from Redmont, but was a little torn on how to go about it. He wanted to be sure before he started throwing accusations at Seungmin’s uncle, but he also didn’t want to go behind anyone’s back. 

Even worse, it was going to seem suspicious if he requested the report, because they never really did that—the quarterly reports were enough. 

It felt like if he tried to investigate this way, he’d just cause unnecessary tension because there was no way Prince Seunggi had been tampering with the taxes without anyone noticing. He had a feeling that the reports were not going to show anything wrong.

The only idea he had was to go to Jaemin and Yoonhak—yes, that was probably not a good idea, but it was an idea; the only one had. If they were so upset, the best way to figure out why was to ask them, right? 

That was if they could remain calm enough to let him ask the question. Maybe he should go to someone else, their parents?

Something didn’t make sense. If there had been significant changes in the taxes, his mother would have known—she would have heard something, and she would definitely bring it up to him. 

He supposed he could start by coming clean to Changbin. He wouldn’t be pleased to hear about what really happened, but at the very least, Chan was convinced that he would agree. He wouldn’t want Jamin and Yoonhak to get into trouble for something so small. Friends fight, it was normal. 

Time passed as Chan found himself lost in his thoughts, before he knew the door to Seungmin's study burst open, revealing Jisung, who was cheering, "He's back!"

And then they made their way to the front door just to find Felix littered in cuts.

The cuts were bad, some of them looked quite deep, but that was not why it was that upsetting to see. It was also upsetting to see because it's a reminder, a proof that Felix wasn't theirs, because none of them felt those. He knew his mates were probably thinking the same thing.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, suddenly Felix was acting weird.

He'd pulled away from Jeongin abruptly, seemingly spooked, looking like he was panicking. Chan wasn't even sure what happened before he was gone, he'd rushed inside without sparing the rest of them another glance, shoulders stiff and steps hurried.

Now Jeongin looked like a kicked puppy, and as if they weren't worried about Felix already, that worry just doubled. Tripled, maybe.

In front of them, the mages shifted uncomfortably, like they wanted to follow Felix's lead and get out of here.

Chan was just about to ask, but Minho was faster. 

“What happened?” He demanded, voice sharp enough to cut.

There was a brief silence as the two mages exchanged wary glances. “The ritual didn’t work,” Sana said eventually. 

A hush settled between them, heavy and lingering. 

Chan really didn’t want to think about what that meant. Felix could see the rotting, so it was definitely magic, but the magical solution they had was not effective.

Where would they go from here?

“Okay,” Minho said slowly. Chan could practically see how his mind was racing, probably considering a dozen other alternative solutions they could try. He’d been sending and receiving letters from Mrs. Lee lately, she was keeping him updated on her research. It wasn’t a secret anyway, how skeptical Minho felt about the whole magic thing. Minho and Seungmin. And all of them, honestly. “That’s—not good. But what happened to him?”

The two mages shared another weary glance.

“Why don't you go ahead and wait in the carriage? I won't be long,” Nayeon suggested quietly. The steel in her voice made it clear that it was not a suggestion, nor a request.

Sana seemed incredibly confused to Chan, but she nodded and turned to leave.

The sound of Sana’s footsteps faded before Nayeon finally met their eyes and spoke. 

“He's had a.. rough day.”

That was vague at best. That was not helpful at all, he could deduce that all by himself. 

“What happened?” It was Chan who asked this time, he couldn’t keep the impatience out of his voice, though he hadn’t meant to sound that way. He would apologize to Nayeon later, right now he just needed her to answer the question. 

She shifted uncomfortably as though she was torn between elaborating and keeping quiet. Now that it was clear that they were not going to be satisfied with a deflective, vague answer, she pointedly avoided their eyes—eyes darting to the side like she was searching for an escape.

The silence stretched between them, and it was getting increasingly clear that for whatever reason, she wasn't going to talk. 

“I’m gonna check up on him,” Jeongin declared, already turning on his heels.  

“Wait!” Nayeon cried. Minho spun toward her so quickly that she visibly faltered. Chan could practically see the irate glare Minho was throwing at her without checking, but honestly he wasn’t sure if his own gaze was much kinder right now. “Forgive me, Your Highnesses but I…” She inhaled deeply, her words softening. “I think it might be best to give him some space.”

Minho was now staring at her like he was trying to decide what he was going to do with her, which… was not good. Nothing good ever happens when Minho looks like that. His tone was sharp and demanding when he spoke again, “You didn’t answer our question. What happened?”

A sigh escaped Nayeon, but she held her ground. “It's not my story to tell,” she said quietly, but firmly. “He'll probably tell you when he's ready.”

“With all due respect, noona, I’m asking a very simple question—”

“Why is he hurt?” Jisung cut him off. “You’re both fine. Why is he the only one who looked like that? Did he actually fall into a bush?”

Nayeon’s lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but Minho stopped her before she could.

“If you're going to lie, think again. I despise liars,” Minho’s voice was cold. 

Nayeon held back a wince. 

“Min,” Chan placed his hand on Minho’s shoulder, warning him to rein in his temper. Yes, they were upset and worried, and Nayeon’s reluctance to explain was not helping, but that didn't mean they could behave this way.

Instead of answering, Nayeon simply repeated her words. “Forgive me, Your Highnesses,” she muttered. “I’ll be back with the salve,” she said before she hastily turned and made her way toward the carriage.

Minho’s eyes followed Nayeon’s retreating figure in disbelief. 

In all honesty, Chan was baffled, too. He did not think she would just run off like that.

The mage seemed truly desperate to get out of there, she was climbing into the carriage like she was being chased by rabid dogs. 

Chan didn’t think that was warranted—sure, they were being difficult, but they weren’t being unreasonable. If anything, she was the unreasonable one here. Why couldn’t she just tell them what happened? 

“Come on,” Chan heard, and he turned to see Hyunjin tugging Jeongin’s arm. "Let’s check up on him. Just for a second.”

Chan would like to do that too, in all honesty, but he knew Nayeon, and he knew that she didn't do things without a reason. Clearly, she knew something they didn't, so maybe listening to her was the right choice.

“Maybe she’s right,” The words came out before Chan realized what he was saying. “Maybe we should give him some space.”

They just stared at him, and for a moment Chan thought they were going to argue, but he was wrong. 

Wordlessly, Hyunjin simply turned and left; probably, definitely to go after Felix. 

Like little ducklings, Jisung and Jeongin followed him—and Seungmin.

Chan just stared at their retreating backs in disbelief.

Unbelievable. The disrespect he put up with on a daily basis. 

He was too busy feeling affronted that it took him a moment to realize that Minho and Changbin were still there with him.

“You’re not going?” Chan asked, more to Minho than Changbin. 

“Something’s wrong,” Minho voice dropped to a murmur, eyes scanning the space in front of him as if he were searching for answers. “Something’s clearly wrong. We shouldn't have let him leave.”

“He was set on it, hyung. We couldn’t just order him not to,” Changbin said helpfully. 

The only reason Chan knew Minho heard that was because his eyebrows twitched the slightest bit, but he didn’t acknowledge Changbin with a reply. 

“I’m gonna get her to talk,” he suddenly declared, and Chan was grateful he’d lived with him for years—because he’d now had his Minho-reflex all trained and polished; Minho was the type of guy who’d move first, ask questions later, so Chan needed to be on top of his game to stop him from doing things he’d regret. 

He managed to snatch Minho’s wrist before the younger man was able to take another step. “Stop. She said it’s not hers to tell. Felix wouldn’t be too pleased if he knew she told us without his say-so.”

“We’ve known him long enough to know what he’s like. He won’t talk, not unless we make him,” Minho stated, pulling his wrist out of Chan’s grasp. “You know I could do that, but she said it herself, he’s had a rough day. I’m not exactly keen on making it worse, so I’ll make her talk instead.” 

Chan glanced at Changbin, silently pleading for a little bit of help here. 

Changbin just gave him a small, helpless shrug, like he was saying that it was out of his hands.

“Sometimes you need to work smarter, not harder. Why do you think when you’re clearly overworked and a second away from passing out, no guards has any time to spare to spar with you, hmm? Your equipment, all gone and misplaced? Why do you think when Seungmin’s feeling particularly distraught, the keys to his study were suddenly impossible to locate?”

Chan stared at Minho, mouth hanging open in disbelief, while Minho simply rolled his eyes before turning on his heel, barking orders to the nearby guards to prepare a carriage.

“So you finally learned how much of a menace Minho hyung is, huh?” Changbin asked casually as he crossed his arms, looking thoughtful and not all that surprised, and now Chan just felt betrayed. “How long did it take? I can’t believe it took you this long. Oh, don’t look at me like that, hyung. He came like that, I didn’t do anything. The moment he decided we’re his humans, it was over. You know what he’s like.”

Turning to Changbin sharply, Chan widened his eyes like he was daring Changbin to say one more word.

Wisely, Changbin put up his hands in mock surrender and took a step back. 

Chan drew in a slow, steadying breath; letting the air fill his chest.

“Lee Minho!”

 

---

 

Felix sat on his bed as he stared blankly at the walls.

The room felt suffocatingly still, the air thick with silence, the only noise he could hear was the sound of his breathing. 

The darkness of the room wrapped around him like a heavy blanket, but instead of feeling comfort, he felt like the world was closing in on him; he felt like a bird trapped in a cage, unable to escape. 

He just sat there, lost in the quiet solitude, his chest aching in a way he hadn’t experienced in a while. 

He didn’t really like being alone, but right now, it felt relieving. He was alone, away from Jeongin and his soulmates—so they were safe. Safer than they were when he was with them. 

Felix was supposed to feel relieved, but he also felt miserable. 

He felt heartbroken, because he knew he needed to leave; the sooner the better. 

He didn’t want to leave.

At least, not yet. But he needed to. He had to, before anything bad could happen to them. He didn’t care if what he knew about curses ended up being wrong, as long as it hadn’t been proven to be wrong, he was not going to take any risks. 

He needed to leave, but where would he go? 

He supposed he could ask for Nayeon and Momo’s help. Maybe they knew someplace he could stay, where the rent is cheap. 

He hadn’t heard from Minhyuk, so his hyung must be busy. It was fine, Felix shouldn’t rely on Minhyuk too much, anyway. His friend had done so much for him, he couldn’t keep leeching off him like this. 

Thinking back, he sort of felt bad for snapping at Nayeon. 

The more he thought about it, the more grateful he felt because she really did everything to make things better for him—or at least, as good as they could be. 

“We need to talk,” She said as they got closer to Havenwood, voice quiet. “This isn’t a good time, though, but we’ll need to talk soon. There’s much to discuss.”

Felix was decidedly, still not over what just happened, so he was in a quite foul mood. “There’s nothing to discuss.”

The mage came to a stop before turning to glance at him, he expected exasperation and maybe a lot of frustration, but he found understanding. On any other day, that would make him feel better, but today was not any other day because he remembered her now. 

“Felix—”

“There’s nothing to discuss because they’re right,” He spat the words like they burned his tongue. “We do bring disasters and misfortunes with us wherever we go.”

Nayeon closed her eyes for a second, like she was trying to summon her patience. “That’s not how curses work. I’ve told you before, it’s—”

“You also said that no one really knows how it works!” Felix snapped, wincing at how harsh he sounded. “The rotting… It’s new, isn’t it? Well, guess what else is new? Me! I’m new. I went to Duskwood for the first time a few months ago. What if I’m the reason—”

“Felix,” Nayeon stopped him, face serious. She stepped closer before continuing, meeting his eyes readily. “I wish I could give you a better answer, I wish I could understand and explain what’s going on with your family. I can’t, and I’m sorry,” She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “But this? Whatever is going on here is bigger than what you think. It’s—it’s so much bigger than one person, or a family. This… this is not something anyone is capable of doing or causing. I’m sure of that.”

She let out a deep, audible sigh. “Listen, let’s just… go back first. I don’t really want to stay here longer than I have, there’s just something creepy about this place,” She muttered, glancing around like she expected something to jump at her any second. “We’ll discuss this later, okay?”

Nayeon had been very patient with him, Felix knew that he had been a handful, but she had yet to snap at him.

On top of that, she also lied to the rest of the Order about what happened, claiming that she took Felix with her when she went on her morning patrol. That definitely saved him from the interrogation he dreaded. 

She also told him that she’ll buy him time. Time to himself, because apparently it was painfully obvious, how shaken he was. 

“I’ll tell his highness you’re exhausted from the trip, that ought to get you a day or two before you need to look at her majesty.”

Felix was still quite distraught so he only managed to give her a quiet thanks, which was definitely not enough because she’d done a lot for him. He needed to send her a thank you card or something. 

Honestly, he felt like he was floating. It felt like his mind was both blank and chaotic at the same time, and he found it hard to think coherent thoughts; his mind was all over the place. 

The guilt he felt as he heard his friends knock on his door only made it worse. The first knock startled him so much that he almost let out a yelp. 

Felix stiffened as he held his breath, afraid that they would be able to hear him.

“Hyung, is everything alright?” He could hear the worry in Jeongin’s voice, even if it was a little muffled behind the door. 

He just sat there on his bed, silent and unmoving. 

“Do you need anything? Are you hungry? I can get you some food,” There was hesitance and a hint of desperation there, and Felix didn’t like how he was the cause of it, but he didn’t know what to say. 

What if he asked him to open the door if he said anything? He wouldn’t know what to do then, so he stayed quiet. 

“Or drinks!” Jisung added eagerly when the silence stretched for too long. 

“Or drinks,” Jeongin agreed, tone subdued.

“If you’re tired, we can brew you some herbal tea,” He heard Hyunjin next, and although Felix knew there was no way Hyunjin meant—he knew that it had nothing to do with the kind of tea that had been plaguing his mind, he felt his heart drop. “You’ll sleep better after drinking it.”

It brought that night into the forefront of his mind again; the tea, and the strange smile his mother had as she held the cup in his hands—forced and not at all like her usual smile. 

“Lix?”

Lips pressed into a line, Felix stared at the door in frustration as he felt his tears welling up. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to say something just to stop them from worrying, he was pretty sure he’s gonna cry if he opened his mouth. If he stays quiet, maybe they’ll think he’s asleep or something. It hadn’t been more than a few minutes since he got here, yes, but maybe they’d assume he was extremely exhausted so he had fallen asleep the moment his head touched the bed. 

There were a few beats of silence as they waited for his reply, but when it was clear that he was not going to, he could hear them speaking in a quiet voice, most likely to each other because it was much too quiet for him to make out what they were saying. 

It was Jeongin who spoke next, “If you need anything, just… I’ll be in my room, okay?” He said dejectedly, and Felix felt that horrible guilt swirling in his stomach, taunting him. “I’ll be here if you need anything,” He added quietly, a touch of uncertainty in his voice.

“We’ll be here,” Jisung echoed.

Felix pressed his lips together, straining his ears and focusing intently as he tried to make out their hushed voice drifting through the door. He could hear how their voices were growing fainter as they moved away from the door.

He waited until only silence remained before letting out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Felix finally leaned back, letting his body sink into the soft mattress as he let out a long, tired sigh. 

He felt even worse about himself. Not only was he greedy and selfish, he was also a horrible friend. 

He couldn’t even be their friend properly, it was pathetic.

Felix let his eyes fall shut, just to let them rest for a moment, but he must’ve dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was jolting upright with a startled gasp as he heard another knock on his door.

“Lix?” He could hear Jisung’s voice, muffled by the door. “We got your healing salve.”

Felix swallowed as he tried to stifle the growing desire to open the door and seek comfort from his friends, but he couldn’t—he shouldn’t, not at the cost of their safety.

“Felix, open the door,” Minho’s voice was firm and serious, and Felix almost let himself move and open the damn door because he hated getting in trouble with Minho, but he managed to hold himself. 

For a moment, he stayed still and quiet, his chest tight. He hoped they'd take the hint and leave him alone. He would find someplace to live and get out of their hair as soon as possible, but in the meantime he hoped they’d let him keep his distance and leave him alone.

But instead of footsteps retreating, he heard low, unintelligible voices. They were speaking too quietly for him to make out the words, but it almost sounded like they were arguing. 

He could hear them shuffling outside, and when he finally heard their footsteps retreating, he could also hear some stomping away.

Like they were pissed. 

Grimacing, he hoped it wasn’t Minho. He hoped it wasn’t Chan. Never mind, he hoped it was none of them, but that was unrealistic. 

It took him a second to realize that he could still hear someone outside his door, but before he could try to mentally investigate and guess who it was, something caught his eye. 

His room was dark, but there was light slipping from the cracks—there were thin beams of light seeping through the edges of the door, where the bright hallway outside bled into the darkness of his room. He could see something, like… smoke?

Wait, that wasn’t smoke, that was magic.

He had half a second to wonder, huh, why is there magic seeping from the door, when suddenly, Nayeon appeared right in front of him.

Felix might’ve let out a startled yelp he wasn’t entirely proud of. 

“Noona!” He hissed as he clutched his chest. “Fates! What is wrong with you!”

With a flick of her hand, the lights were on, and Felix had to shield himself from the sudden onslaught of light. He could see the grandmaster rolling her eyes like she thought he was being dramatic. There was nothing dramatic about what he said. She just appeared out of thin air, he almost had a heart attack. 

“You wouldn’t open the door,” Nayeon said like that was reason enough to suddenly—what, teleport into his room? Appear from thin air? Felix had no idea she could do that. 

“I thought you needed crystals to teleport!”

“That wasn’t teleportation,” Nayeon replied as she waved her hand dismissively. “It was more of a short jump.”

Felix had no idea what she meant, and how a jump was different from teleporting, but it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t particularly interested in understanding magic anyway. 

Nayeon studied him for a moment, her eyes flicking over him as if trying to decide what to say—or if she should say anything at all.

“Felix,” Nayeon started. “If I think that you pose the slightest bit of danger to the princes, I wouldn’t have let you come back here. You know that, right? Their safety is my priority, I wouldn’t do anything that would jeopardize that,” She declared firmly.

Maybe you shouldn’t have let me, Felix didn’t say. 

Maybe she should have taken him somewhere else, someplace far from here. Maybe she should’ve locked him in a cell somewhere, where he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone with his cursed bloodline. 

Maybe she should have left him back in Havenwood, in the forest.

It was where he belonged, anyway. 

Nayeon sighed, looking like she finally realized there was nothing she could say that would make things better. 

“Here, your healing salve,” She placed a small glass jar in his hands. “Just apply them on top of your cuts, and it should feel better and disappear within an hour, alright?”

“Thanks, noona,” Felix said glumly. 

She nodded, but said nothing in response. 

Felix thought that she’d leave now that she’d come to do what she needed to do, but apparently she still had something to say.

“I’m planning to visit the academy next week,” Nayeon muttered. “You can tag along, if you want. One of my professors… is an expert on curses. Or, well, theoretical curses.”

An expert on curses?

Felix had no idea why anyone would want to be an expert on such a horrible subject, but he nodded anyway. He had no idea about anything, he’d take any lead he could get. 

“We can ask him some, ah, hypothetical questions. He loves those hypothetical stuff, you know, since his life’s work is all hypothetical. Fates, I should stop,” She uttered the last few words under her breath, like she didn’t want Felix to hear them. “Anyways, despite my reservations, he’s good at what he does, so he might be able to offer some valuable insights, who knows.”

It didn’t look like she had much confidence in this professor of hers—or maybe she just didn’t like him. On any other day he’d be intrigued, maybe he’d have asked a few questions just to find out more about the man, but today he was tired.

He could see the poorly hidden concern in Nayeon’s eyes when she reached out to give his shoulder a soft squeeze. “Alright, use the salve and get some rest. Maybe while you’re at it you can also unlock that door and stop your friends from a nervous breakdown… No? Okay,” She sighed as she saw his expression change. “I’ll see you in a few days, alright?  Don’t—” Nayeon paused, brow furrowed. “Don’t lock yourself for that long. I’m here if you want to talk. Heck, your friends are just behind that door if you want to talk. They’re worried. I might’ve heard them talking about cooking, so you need to stop this before his royal highness gets too close to the kitchen, you hear me?”

“The kitchen?” Felix found himself asking before he could stop himself. 

Nayeon pursed her lips. “You don’t want to know. Just… talk to them, alright?” 

Felix said nothing, and he didn’t nod or anything, so Nayeon just shook her head slightly.

“Any chance you’d let me unlock the door and get out of this room like a normal person?”

This time, Felix threw her a flat look, because no, he was not going to unlock his door, sue him. 

“Kids,” Nayeon muttered under her breath, but before Felix could get offended, she disappeared as quickly as she appeared, leaving a mixture of colors swirling behind her. 

Felix let out a quiet groan as he ran his fingers through his hair. Nayeon had a point, he wanted to keep them safe and keep his distance, but locking himself in his room the entire time might not be a very good idea. He should think of something else, maybe he could spend more time outside—in fact, he needed to go to the city, or at least, to see Hyunwoo. He’d heard that his friend came to speak to him when he wasn’t here. There must be something important, something might have happened, so he needed to figure out what. 

As he shifted to lie back down, wanting to get some sleep, something caught his attention, right there on his bedside table.

A pile of letters.

Eyes lighting up, he scrambled to get it. Felix sifted through the pile, his eyes scanning the names until one envelope caught his attention with a familiar scrawl.

Hope growing in his chest, Felix quickly tore into the envelope.

 

---

 

The air was tense in the dimly lit cave. The man, the mage, the crow—For a moment, none of them made any noise.

“I can disguise myself,” The mage suddenly said, breaking the silence. “Even better, I’ll take the way around and enter from the next village.”

“They have people in other villages and cities.”

“I don't care! Let them come at me. I’m not afraid of a bunch of greedy, selfish, corrupt—” She stopped herself, hands balled into fists in frustration. “It does not matter. We have more pressing matters at hand, the rotting, for one. I need to go back to the capital.”

“You will die before you make it there,” The man stated, voice hollow. “They have a very powerful mage on their side. Now that you know, they’d have reported it to him, and he won’t stop until he gets you.”

Hayeon bit her lips, holding herself from arguing back, because she knew that was the truth. 

When she stumbled into that place, that was the first thing she sensed. The intense power, the strange eeriness that made her skin prickle with something she couldn’t quite place. 

Something old and powerful, something that made her feel like she was choking on air.

“What do you know about the rotting?” Hayeon asked sharply as she pushed herself up, directing the conversation elsewhere. If she was going to be stuck here for a little longer, she might as well learn everything she could learn about the rotting. The man knew things, that much was clear. She supposed it was expected, since he lived here in the forest. “What’s happening to the forest? The soil, the animals?”

“I might know more than you do,” The man said cryptically. “But not as much as I’d prefer.”

“What does that even mean,” Hayeon gritted her teeth in frustration. This strange old man was starting to get on her nerves. “Listen, I know you understand how serious this is. You need to tell me what you know, because we need to find a solution, and we need to do it quickly.”

The man’s sudden laughter echoed unpleasantly, almost startling her. 

He seemed genuinely amused. “Don’t be foolish, child. There is no solution to find.”

She really had no idea what his problem was, he did not seem like a bad guy—especially since Byeol had led her here, and he’d let her stay with him—but she really couldn’t understand why he was being weirdly cryptic about this. 

The rotting affected the entire Kingdom, if they don’t stop it… She had no idea what would happen, but it wouldn’t be anything good.

She couldn’t care less about why he was here, deep in the forest in this strange hidden cave all by himself. She wouldn’t care if he was a notorious criminal living in the middle of nowhere to avoid getting caught or whatever. 

Surely, even criminals would care if the world ended.

“You don’t understand, I have a friend who can help. He’s blessed beyond measure, blessed by the fates themselves, he can help us find a solution to this. He’s the key, I can feel it in my gut,” Hayeon explained, sounding a little more desperate by the second because she could see how thoroughly unimpressed the man was. “He can see magic,” She blurted out before she could stop herself, because it really felt like she needed to get him to talk. Whatever information she could find about the rotting would be crucial, seeing how absolutely clueless everyone was, her included. Plus, he lived in the middle of nowhere, who would he tell? “Do you hear me? He can see magic . This rotting, he can see it with his own eyes. We can experiment, try all kinds of spells and rituals, and he’ll be able to see how they affect it. Do you see where I’m going with this? You need to tell me everything you know about the rotting, because it might just—”

“He can see magic, you say?” The man asked as he straightened his posture, face darkening. “Please, do tell me more.”

Notes:

Minhyuk, back in duskwood: (sneezes for the 10th time)
Minhyuk: (frowns) Mother, I think my allergy is acting up.

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special thanks to the lovely @ALis27Dnm for beta reading this chapter! 💓

Notes:

please leave a comment or a kudo if you enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you think! :D

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Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of bland's skz fics
• Part 1 of Whispers of the Wishblossoms