Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter Text
PROLOGUE
SEVEN YEARS AGO
Katara didn't know why she was still breathing. She had heard the stories—the ones told around campfires on an icy, Southern night, and she had seen what they did to her mother when they thought she was the last waterbender in her Tribe. They don't take prisoners. But in this cell, somewhere underground miles away from any source of water where she had to be chained to even have a drink despite her inability to even cause much more than a ripple, Katara only had her thoughts as company. Her thoughts and an occasional mouse. They would scurry across the floor towards her and sniff for food that wasn't there. At first, she felt uncomfortable with the tiny creatures, but after weeks of no human interaction, she found their presence almost calming. If they could survive down here, so could she.
The only signs she had from the outside world were the whispers from the guards. The fear in their voices when they spoke of how the Avatar had passed sixteen this time. All of that Fire Nation propaganda had made people in this country think of them as the greatest threat to peace. Even though Katara was only twelve, she always laughed at their view of the world. So narrow and misguided. It's how the Emperor wanted things. He controlled his people through fear, but Katara wasn't afraid. She wouldn't let herself be. Her spirit was all she had here. It was the only thing to hold onto. So if she ever felt her chest clenching, her palms sweating, or her mind winding out of control, she would ball up her fists and give herself the same speech over and over until it was all she could focus on. "I'm the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. I will not be afraid. I will not be afraid."
She found herself saying those words on a night when the storms were so loud, she could hear the thunder from her cell like she was in the middle of the chaos outside. But it wasn't the storms that made her heart race. She found the sound peaceful. It was the number of footsteps coming towards her. Was this it? Were they going to drag her out for a public execution? Did the Emperor want to make a show of his latest accomplishment? Katara closed her eyes shut so tight that her eyes hurt. She gripped the cloth of her tattered pants. Her heart pounded, blood racing through her every vein. I will not be afraid. I will not be afraid.
The door to the cell beside her own opened. The sound of a body thudding against the cold floor echoed through the air. Guards wary voices mixed with the thunder.
"And he just wants us to leave him down here?"
"Until he's learned his lesson."
"But he could die—"
"Don't question the Emperor! I'm sure he has his reasons."
After that, footsteps faded until all that could be heard was the storm and whimpers of pain from across the steel bars. Katara opened her eyes and through the dim light of distant torches, she could see a figure curled into a ball in the corner of the cell beside hers. It was a boy, barely older than her, and she didn't have to get closer to know he was badly injured. The smell of scorched flesh made her stomach curl in on itself and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep her eyes from watering.
He was shirtless, and most of his hair was burned off. Katara quietly creeped closer, noticing the awful burn marks across his entire face. There was blood too, and more marks across his torso and back. She had never seen something so...gruesome. Katara felt the little food she had in her stomach threatening to come back up.
Something inside her just knew she could help him, but she had no idea how or why.
Just as she gripped the bars to call out to him, someone yelled from the hallway, shoving past guards.
"Hasn't the boy been tortured enough! I will see him, now!"
"The Emperor—!"
"If my brother has any grievances with an uncle visiting his nephew, he can take them up with me himself."
Silence. And then the guards walking away.
Katara peered through the bars. A man with a gray top knot was looking down on the injured boy—apparently the Emperor's son—with so much pain in his face Katara almost turned away. What had happened to the boy? Why was his father not helping him? Wasn't he the Prince?
"U-Uncle," said a faint, gasping voice.
"I'm here, Prince Zuko."
"It-it...hurts."
"I'm trying to get a healer down here, but your father..." the man trailed off. "He doesn't want you to see one. He says if you're really his son, you'll find a way to survive on your own."
How cruel. Even though this boy was the son of the man who had ruined her life—who had caused so much suffering in the world—she had never felt so...so angry. So determined to help.
From the look on the man's face, Katara could almost hear his thoughts. That Prince Zuko might not make it through the night.
She barely processed what happened as she blurted out, "I can help."
The waterbender had no idea what she would do. There was a voice in her head telling her all she needed was some water. She could save this boy.
The boy's Uncle turned his head, eyebrows raised.
"I'm—I'm a waterbender, but there's no water down here."
There was no hesitation in the man's face, "Leave that to me."
He disappeared down the hallway, and Katara's eyes fell to the whimpering boy—to Zuko, "I'm going to help you," she whispered so quietly she wasn't sure he even heard. "Zuko, it's going to be okay." Saying his name felt wrong. This boy was her enemy. The son of a horrible man. Probably being raised to be just as horrible, but she just knew she was meant to be here. In this moment. For him.
Zuko stopped whimpering, but he was still shaking and could barely speak, "What-what's...your...name?"
"I'm Katara."
When he didn't respond, Katara feared he might have passed out.
"Zuko?" She called out.
No response. Her heart dropped to her stomach.
When his uncle returned, he had a small wooden bucket. Even being near water without chains made part of her spirit feel stronger.
"Will this be enough?"
"It'll have to be," she responded.
Keys jingled together, and Katara didn't have the time to ask how he was able to get them, but before she knew it, her cell was being unlocked.
For the first time in three weeks, she was...free.
Part of her yelled to use this opportunity to make an escape. She could see the boy's uncle wondering what she would choose. The desperation on his face. The way he glanced to the door at the end of the hall.
Katara looked to Zuko again, and she could never explain why, but she just couldn't leave him like this.
She walked out of her cell and into his. The man placed the bucket of water beside her as she kneeled down to the boy. His face was scrunched in pain, and his injuries were far worse than she realized. The skin around his left eye wasn't there. It was just blood and tissue. The rest of his face was messed up too with burn marks that went all the way to the middle of his back. She felt tears coming to her eyes. Could she really do this?
With a shaky hand, she touched his shoulder, "I'm going to help you now."
When Katara placed both hands into the water, she closed her eyes and prayed to Tui and La that this would work. All of the anger and pain she had felt since she was captured came to the surface as well as her determination to help this boy. If she really would be destined to die here, the least she could do was save this one person. For the first few minutes, nothing happened, but Katara wasn't a quitter.
Come on, come on, come on.
Then, she felt a spark of something course through her veins, almost like something within her was awakened.
Katara lifted her hands out of the water, and her eyes widened when they were glowing. The marks around her wrists from the chains disappeared, and then, she knew exactly what she needed to do.
One by one, she hovered her hands over the injuries on Zuko, starting on his back. Some faded instantly, others turned to bruises that would need more time to fully heal.
And when she got to his face, some of the pain was wiped away from his expression.
The only injury that didn't seem to change much was the one around his left eye. The bleeding had stopped, but it still looked terrible.
"That's the worst hit," his Uncle explained. "The other burns came from when he was already down, but that one...it was given too close. It'll scar."
"I'm sorry," she said with a choked gasp, and she truly meant it.
The water around her hands fell and turned back to its pale blue color. It glided across his ivory skin, and Zuko opened his one good eye. He looked right at her—right through her very bones—and she wasn't sure what to make of it.
His voice was faint as he spoke. He only managed three words before he lost consciousness.
"Thank you, Katara."
Chapter 2: Awake
Notes:
i hope everyone enjoyed the prologue! now, time to get to the actual story :) each chapter will have a song that fits the mood, so feel free to listen as you read!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
AWAKE
SONG: DAFFODIL— FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
"English sun, she has come
To kiss my face and tell me I'm that chosen one
A generation soaked in grief
We're drying out and hanging on by the skin of our teeth
I never thought it would get this far
This somewhat drunken joke
Sometimes, I see so much beauty
I don't think that I can cope."
————————————————————————————
There were exactly fifty-seven steps from her room to the light of day. Katara had memorized the path so clearly she could walk to the infirmary with her eyes closed, but she was never alone.
Two guards escorted her, as if she was a lethal predator that could strike at any moment, but they had nothing to fear from her. Katara's specialty was in the finer art of her waterbending, the kind that soothed old wounds and quieted the rage lingering from battlefields.
Every day was the same. As soon as the sun shone over the horizon, sprinkling delicate light over the city formed within an extinct, colossal volcano, the same two guards knocked on her door. She got dressed in the same, red clothes and looked in the same, annoying mirror. They walked the fifty-seven steps from her room to the back of the grand palace, and then out into the courtyard for thirty-three more steps to the make-shift infirmary that had been built for her specifically. The Emperor didn't want her straying too far from castle grounds.
The infirmary was wide with rows of cots and a water basin by each one. There was no medical equipment except slings and bandages, and there were ten servants who were assigned to help. Some days it smelled like blood, others there was just an eerie stillness amongst the moans of pain and death. Many who arrived here were already too far gone, even for Katara. She was their last chance, but she had lost count of the number of soldiers who had died under her palms. Even though she had been coming to this wide tent for several years, it always felt strange to be healing the enemy. The people fighting against those who only wanted to live in peace. But it's the only reason she wasn't executed. It was her lifeline in this hellhole. If she couldn't heal people, she had no use to the Emperor, and she had seen first hand where being useless had gotten people like her.
She let herself get lost in healing those under her care. It was a nice form of escapism, and the number of soldiers brought each week was growing larger, which meant that maybe, those who were fighting back were starting to make a difference. All she could do was hope and pray and hold onto the memories of her home and her family.
As she entered the tent to start her day of work, she had to pick who to tend to first. Her mind jumped into focus as she noted the most serious injuries.
"What's your name?" She said calmly as she leaned down to a man who looked like he had been caught underneath an earthbender's fury.
Her glowing hands skirted lightly across his torso, and the soldier cried out in pain, "Lin."
Lin had several broken ribs, and his leg was crushed. There was internal bleeding, and if she could save him, he'd need several sessions to even try to walk again. Katara could sense his ribs starting to mend, but would it be enough? He had been bleeding for so long. If only he'd gotten here sooner.
"You're going to be alright, Lin."
"I don't want to die," he cried out.
"Just focus on me," his eyes looked into her own. They were wide, panicked ambers. His heart rate was too low, his skin was on fire. "Focus, Lin."
Katara's brow began to sweat as she put all her effort and concentration on stopping his internal bleeding. The water glowed even brighter, lighting up the entire tent. She heard Lin gasp, and then, all of his muscles when still.
When she looked at his face again, Lin was gone.
The waterbender just stared with a blank expression. The guards behind her called the servants over, and in less than a minute, a sheet was draped over his body and he was carried out.
"Get on to the next one," a guard shoved her to the next cot.
Katara breathed in deeply. She shook her head and looked at her patient.
"What's your name?"
She always learned their name, and the ones who died stuck with her. She carved them inside her wooden dresser. Maybe it's a sick way of coping, but it helped. After seven years, there were too many names to count anymore. She was running out of space. How many would she have to add tonight?
Blood and gore didn't affect her anymore, and it was scary how normal staring death in the face felt.
In darker moments, she remembered Sokka's face. The way it would light up when they played in the snow, and the frustrated crinkle of his nose when she would throw a snowball at his head. Her older brother always looked out for her. He fought until a firebender knocked him out the day she was taken. Their father was away, fighting in the rebellion. The village was helpless to the raid, and Katara could still see it all so clearly. The black snow falling on her hair, the panic on Sokka and GranGran's face, and the screaming—the screaming most of all.
It wasn't until a year later when she had found out that the reason she was taken instead of killed on the spot was because the Emperor wanted a public execution of the last waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe in front of the rebels. She was days away from being escorted to the fighting when she had proved her usefulness. That night haunted her dreams more than anything else that had happened to her in the past seven years. The boy, his injuries—caused by his own father—the way he looked at her before he passed out. Thank you, Katara. The words were clear as day in her head. But she never saw Prince Zuko again after that. Hardly anyone did because his father sent him away to find and kill the Avatar. His uncle went with him, and they had never returned.
"Well, it looks like you're off to a terrible start today, waterbender." Katara tried to tone out the voice of Princess Azula as she mended a broken arm. "If too many of our soldiers keep dying, my father may rethink his decision to keep you around." She had a way of getting to people—sniffing out every weakness. Her amber stare was just as lethal as her sapphire-blue fire.
Katara grit her teeth, "I'm trying to concentrate."
One of the servants came forward with a sling, and Katara gently placed the soldier's right arm in it.
"I didn't come here to interfere with your little tricks. I have news." Katara couldn't care less. She kept her back to the princess as she moved to the next patient. His name was Jusu. He had a crushed hand and a few sharp pieces of rock in his side. "My brother and Uncle will be home today."
She froze, only for a moment, but she could almost feel the smirk on Azula's face. Katara turned just enough to see it as she picked out the pieces of rock from Jusu's side and closed the wounds, "Why are you telling me this?"
"Well, poor ZuZu has been hurt while searching for the Avatar, and apparently, it's bad enough for my father to want you to fix him up." That couldn't be the whole truth. The Emperor had known the dangers of his son's mission. He almost killed him seven years ago—was fine with him dying alone in a dark cell. But Katara knew better than to pry where she shouldn't. At least, not so openly.
"Alright," Katara said as she stood to look at the man in the cot to the right.
"You'll be summoned tonight to his chamber," Katara's stomach dropped. Her heart picked up in her chest. Why couldn't he just come to the infirmary? "Don't be late."
Princess Azula left the tent, and Katara's mind was racing with so many questions and nerves, but she had people to heal. She couldn't think about what this might mean, but shaking away the dread in her gut was impossible. Something was shifting here in the Fire Nation. She could tell in the late night whispers off walls and concerned generals going quiet if she passed them. The Avatar still being alive caused growing tension. Mumbles from dying soldiers and increased groups of wounded men not sure why they fought this battle anymore. And now, Prince Zuko and General Iroh returning home after seven long years.
Everything was connected, somehow. Katara just needed to figure it out.
By the time the sun was setting over the city, Katara was exhausted, but she always let herself admire the sunset. It was so vivid here and warm, like a gentle kiss goodnight on her forehead. It was the one thing she found calmness in. Even though this place was a prison for her, that didn't make it any less beautiful. She had always wanted to go down to the beach, to be near the push and pull of the ocean, but she wasn't stupid enough to believe she'd ever get to go.
As she walked with the guards, she scratched at her sleeves. Her clothes were covered in blood that wasn't hers, and her hands were stained. All she wanted was a hot bath and some dinner, but her escorted walk back to her room was swiftly interrupted.
The guards stopped in their tracks when they saw two of the most important girls in the Fire Nation standing before them. Katara recognized them. They were always tagging along with Azula as she tormented people around the palace. The smaller one with braids and a bright smile was Ty Lee. She gave a flirty wave and a giggle to the guards. Mai, however, had that ever-present scowl and slumped shoulders as her midnight bangs covered her eyes.
This day was growing even more strange.
Her days were always the same. She never interacted with anyone except guards, wounded soldiers, and servants who helped her. There was Azula who popped in to scold her for fun every now and then, but no one else in this entire palace had ever spoken to her or acknowledged her existence. She was as good as invisible. She woke up, went to the infirmary, and then went back to her room. Nothing ever changed.
Until today.
The waterbender wasn't sure how to proceed because Mai and Ty Lee were staring right at her. She even turned her head to make sure they weren't looking at someone behind her. Nope, nobody there. She and the guards were the only other people in this corridor.
"Hi Katara!" Ty Lee's perky voice startled her because no one had said her actual name in seven years. She almost forgot what it sounded like from someone else's lips.
Her eyebrows pinched together, "Um, hi, Ty Lee..."
They walked closer, and the guards stepped forward, "We were escorting the waterbender back to her room."
"We'll take her from here."
What?
"But..."
Ty Lee laced her arm through Katara's, "We are under orders from Princess Azula. You wouldn't want to interfere, would you?"
"No, no, of course not."
"Great," Ty Lee began dragging Katara along with her, and the guards were left dumbfounded. "Ugh, they are so uptight. And those uniforms need some serious updating, don't you think?"
It took a second for Katara to register that Ty Lee was actually talking to her, "Yeah, I guess." Katara couldn't decide which question to ask first, so she settled with, "Where are you taking me?"
"To get ready," she answered with a wide grin.
"For what?"
"To see Prince Zuko," Mai said in a monotone voice.
Katara stopped outside the entrance to her room, "I don't understand. Why can't I just go like this?"
Ty Lee laughed out loud, "You have blood all over your clothes silly."
"But I'm perfectly capable of getting myself ready."
"This is different. You're about to attend to someone part of the royal household. You can't be seen going into his room looking like..." Ty Lee trailed off. "Well, like a servant. Everyone's going to see the Emperor picked you as a healer. That's a great honor."
Healers were treated as more than servants in this city, but not too much higher. The ones who attended the royal household lived in luxury, but Katara always assumed her position was permanent because she was a waterbender. It would be quite a scandal for someone not of Fire Nation descent to be promoted above a servant.
But for her to heal Zuko—that was a statement to the best healers in the city. That a waterbender had more skill than them.
The part she was missing was the why. Even if his injuries were fatal, the Emperor was a man who would rather see his son die than insult his own image and reputation. Nothing made sense, and Katara chewed on her lip. She felt like she was walking into a trap—one she couldn't escape. A dark tunnel with no sign of light. But she couldn't say no to this. All she could do was survive. Like always.
Ty Lee ushered Katara into her room with a reluctant Mai behind them. A few servants filed in, and seconds later, Katara found herself in a bath with rose petals floating around her and some citris soap behind rubbed into her almond skin. Some of the servants were giving her strange looks. They had never seen someone from the Water Tribes before. From the looks of them, they were the ones who served Azula and the royal family.
No one cared much for her to be around water anymore. Not when she had no one to train her in the fighting techniques. The worse she could ever do to someone was freeze their legs, and that didn't matter much in the literal Fire Nation. Unless she found a waterbending master, she'd only ever be a healer.
As the servants washed her chocolate-brown hair, she used her fingers to create little spirals in the water around her to distract her mind from whatever was about to happen. Out of habit, her hand reached to where her mother's necklace used to be. Katara's chest clenched every time she was only met with skin. They had taken it the second she arrived here. She'd probably never see it again, or anything that reminded her of home. The only scenery she had for seven years was this palace and the infirmary. She had never even gone anywhere else in the city. This was her cage—a golden palace of firebending monsters. It was worse than the underground prison.
Katara glanced around to everyone in the room. She didn't trust a soul. Not in this place. There wasn't room for trust when you were an outsider, and she wouldn't let this new nice act make her forget it.
"This one!" Ty Lee grabbed a thin dress made of elegant red silk with black detailing around the hem. It looked like something a daughter of a noble would wear. When she turned it around to show Katara the crisscross patterns that would expose some of the skin of her back, she felt sick at the sight of a small Fire Nation insignia near the middle. She had never ached for her Water Tribe clothes so much, even in the heat. Putting that on would just feel too wrong. At least in the simple shirt and trousers she wore every day, she wasn't branded as Fire Nation.
She suddenly felt very, very hot. And sick to her stomach. She felt bile creeping up her throat.
She would be alone. With Prince Zuko. In his chambers. And everyone would know she was the one who healed him.
She was healing an important person in this country. Someone trying to kill the last hope for peace. It was all too much, too fast. Just hours ago she was going about her day like normal. Katara didn't like her position, but at least it was consistent. She knew what to expect. The rules were clear like glass. This felt like entering a maze with only dead ends, and she could never get out.
Ty Lee raised her eyebrows as she noticed Katara's pale face, "Are you okay?"
Katara nodded and tried to speak, but no words came out. Her throat was dry, but she needed to pull it together. Don't lose it now.
"Yes," she found her voice and tried her very best for the words to come out strong. "I'm fine. That dress is nice."
"Perfect," Ty Lee squealed and slung her arm around Mai's shoulders. "She's going to look amazing."
Mai rolled her eyes, "Yeah, whatever."
It was like this was all happening to someone else. Like Katara was a ghost watching from the other side of the room as she got dressed and let the servants apply makeup to her face, sculpting it to perfection. They tied the front pieces of her wavy curls into a traditional top not and let her stand to slip on some red flats. They sprayed some kind of perfume on her wrists that smelled like ash and the sea. And when Katara finally looked into the mirror, she didn't recognize the girl staring back.
She was always dressed plainly with the goal to not be noticed. Through her years of development, she hadn't paid much attention to her looks. There was no reason to, but now, it's like she was really seeing that she definitely wasn't twelve anymore. The dress clung to the right places, accentuating her figure. The blue in her eyes really popped underneath the light makeup, and she hated to admit it, but Ty Lee knew what she was doing.
The only things wrong were the Fire Nation clothes and her mother's necklace being vacant from her neck. It made her feel like a stranger in her own body.
Ty Lee's hands rested on her shoulders, "And my work is done."
When a knock came from the door, Katara felt it in her gut.
"Is the peasant ready?" Azula's voice echoed from the other side.
Azula's taunts rarely affected her anymore. Katara simply held her gaze forward as the doors were opened and she was forced to step into the hallway, towards the beginning of this new nightmare she had no idea how to wake up from.
She pinched her arm. Yes, this was real.
"No funny business, waterbender," Azula said with narrowed eyes as she pointed a sharp fingernail at her face. "There will be guards stationed outside the door. When a member of the royal household is in a healing session it isn't traditional for anyone else to be present." Right, they didn't want anyone seeing them weak. Even in the midst of life threatening injuries. "Your life isn't the only one on the line with this. We could always take another trip back to your little Tribe and kill your brother...Sokka is it?" A mix of blinding rage and fear hit her chest, almost strong enough to knock her right off her feet. Katara could only stare in complete shock as the princess grinned triumphantly. No, no how could they know that? Would they really hurt Sokka? She wanted to punch Azula or freeze her head or something—anything—but she wasn't only gambling with her life now. They knew who the people closest to her were, and that was the biggest weakness of all. "That's right. Any step out of line, and a Fire Nation ship will be heading South. You may not care much about your own life, but I think we both know you'll do whatever it takes to keep your family safe. Isn't that right?"
All she could do was nod, her eyes on fire with so much hatred it was overwhelming.
Azula only laughed, "What a fun chat. I'm glad we had this talk." She turned to the guards. "Take her to my brother."
Katara inhaled a long breath as she was led away from Azula.
She might've had no idea what she was walking into, but a new flame of determination to escape had been lit inside her. For so many years, she had all but given up. She was defeated, accepting her fate—her routine—but now her family was threatened.
Katara decided then, right as she was pulled to a stop outside a large, foreboding door, that she wouldn't let this place suffocate her. She was going to escape...
Even if she had to play their little game to do it.
Notes:
the next chapter will have zuko! yay! please leave any feedback you have and thanks so much for reading <3
Chapter Text
SCARS
SONG: THE YAWNIG GRAVE — LORD HURON
"I tried to warn you when you were a child
I told you not to get lost in the wild
I sent omens and all kinds of signs
I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes"
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Prince Zuko's room was waiting for her.
The door was open, guards holding out their hands, signaling she had permission to enter, but Katara couldn't move. Her feet were glued to the floor. She lifted her eyes to the dangling chandelier made of gold with little flames flickering from each pointed end, and she tried to imagine she was somewhere else—anywhere else, but she couldn't. Not when she was surrounded on all sides with polished armor and lavish decorations, portraits of the royal family and those who came before, staring down at her and reminding her of the sins of their past. To her and her people and everyone else who bended anything other than fire. Helping soldiers was one thing, they didn't have a choice but to fight. They were just following their orders, trying to survive like her. But this...La only knew what atrocities Prince Zuko had committed in his years away, right in the middle of the thicket of war. Saving him when they were children had felt right, but now everything was blurry.
The thing that snapped her out of her spiral was three Fire Sages exiting the room and staring at her with their noses turned up. Their hands were concealed by their robes as they intertwined in front of their chests. A lingering smell of smoke and herbs followed them. Their eyes were tight, grimaces on their lips. All for her.
A fourth stepped out from behind them. He was shorter, and his face was vacant of any disdain.
"The Prince is ready," he said. "Best of luck, young waterbender."
"Mokan, do not address her," one of the others snapped. "This is an insult."
The rude one spat at her feet, and Katara had to fight against every instinct in her body to keep from retaliating.
As they walked away, Mokan shot her an apologetic look. He was younger than the other Sages, something about him made her curious, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
Katara might've not understood why this was all happening and what was going on behind the scenes, but for now, she just needed to make it through this healing session. So, she took a deep breath and composed herself. She pushed all questions and doubts to the back of her mind and went into that familiar space she found every morning within the infirmary. A strict, professional aura, ready to jump into action with keen focus. She had become an expert at compartmentalizing—at blocking out her emotions when she needed to, and the situation was dire.
She prepared herself for the worst: broken limbs, grizzly burns, collapsed lungs, mangled flesh, rocks impaled all over. She had seen it all at this point. From the desperation of the royal family to come to her, it had to be awful. Perhaps even worse than the first night she saw him in the prison.
Finally, Katara forced herself to move. One foot in front of the other until she was standing in the breezy room, and the door shutting echoed right through her and left a thick silence except for the rustle of the wind dancing within the draping, red curtains that brushed the floor.
The door to the balcony was open, letting in the cool, night air. Katara's room was small, just big enough for a bed and a washroom, but this was a wide, free space. The bed was huge with smooth cardinal sheets and a tall canopy that had sheer curtains cascading from the top. They were tied back to create an inviting image, like she could crawl in and sleep for days without interruption. There were brown dividers that hid a tub and an ornate dresser, and a washroom was adjacent to it. Even his bathroom was bigger than her room.
A few paces away from the bed was a desk with papers and ink strewn across it. Messy scribbles lined the papers, and there were several journals underneath it all. Katara walked over, her footsteps clicking against the polished floor, and she glanced at the words, moving a few pieces around to try and get to the journals. Maybe they would give her some clues as to what was going on in the outside world.
"Where's Healer Naisi?"
Katara nearly jumped out of her skin as his rough voice drifted to her. She turned quickly, eyes wide, and took him in as he stood just outside the washroom.
Prince Zuko was no longer that wounded fourteen-year-old boy in the prison. No, he had grown up, just like her, and she couldn't help but stare.
An ocean blue met fiery ambers as she noticed his angry scar surrounding his left eye. It was the only indication that night had happened. All the other marks were gone. His raven hair had grown back, but it was shorter than she thought it would be. Strands kissed his forehead and stopped right below his neck.
And all he was wearing was some trousers and a golden robe. It hung open, revealing his chiseled chest, and Katara suddenly felt very aware that they were in fact, alone, in his bedroom. He seemed to come to the same conclusion as he shifted his feet awkwardly. Did he remember her? That night, she was covered in dirt from weeks without bathing, and he was barely conscious. She honestly couldn't tell. His expression was cold, guarded.
She mirrored it, crossing her arms over her chest as she finally spoke, "I'm your Healer tonight."
"You?" He scoffed, shaking his head as he crossed the room to sit on his bed. "What are you—like sixteen?"
Anger rose in her chest, "Look, I really don't want to be here anymore than you do, so can we please get this over with?"
Katara's eyes widened when she realized he was the Prince and she had just snapped at him, but instead of apologizing, she just held his gaze, unrelenting.
Something just shy of amusement lit up his eyes as he shook his head, "Okay, fine, your rules, Healer..."
Shit. Would he remember her name?
"What's even wrong with you, exactly?" Katara said, diverting the question. In her frazzled state, she hadn't even noticed that he looked perfectly healthy.
Prince Zuko stiffened, "I—uh, seem to have trouble remembering things."
"Like what?"
"Like a whole year of my life." That threw Katara for a loop. He shook his head, sighing. "My Uncle and I, we got separated. It's the last thing I remember, and then I was waking up on a beach in the Fire Nation. My Uncle had found me somehow, and a whole year had passed. I know it sounds crazy." It did sound crazy. Just like how she was supposed to fix him. She knew how to mend bones and close wounds, but getting his memories back...that might be out of her skill level. "I'm supposed to write down everything I start to remember," he motioned to the desk of papers. "When I got home I wrote down the events leading up to the hole in my memory. At a certain point, it all just goes blank..."
Katara looked to his bedside table where a large bowl of water sat ready for her. As soon as she bended, he would know who she was, and she didn't know why that made her nervous.
She swallowed her nerves and crossed the room, wiping her sweaty palms on her dress. She felt him watching her every movement as she stood in front of him.
"Just try to relax, and close your eyes," she instructed with a gentle voice. He obeyed and she placed her hands in the water. "Clear your mind."
The glowing water gave the entire room a nice, blue hue, contrasting all the Fire Nation red.
She breathed deeply as she placed both of her hands around his ears. The cool feeling of the water startled him at first, but then, he relaxed.
"Now what?"
"Think back to the last day you remember. What was happening?"
"My Uncle and I were tracking down a band of rebels..." he muttered. "Trying to get a lead on the Avatar." Katara inhaled sharply. He was entering into a trance-like state. He wouldn't be able to control much of what he said out loud as he sorted through moments. "We split up, and..."
Zuko's eyes snapped open and he shoved Katara back. She gasped as the water splashed onto the floor beneath her feet.
"What are you doing to me?"
"I'm trying to help you!" She exclaimed.
"Who are you?" he demanded. "Are you even ranked high enough to hear all of this?"
Katara felt like she had been slapped. She was sent here to help him remember wasn't she?
"I just know I'm supposed to heal you. That's all they told me."
"Who?"
"Your sister!"
Zuko's eyes narrowed, "Get out."
"What?"
He stood from the bed, fuming, "I said, get out!"
"Fine," she spat, stepping away. "But good luck finding anyone else who can get your memories back."
Zuko recoiled, regret on his face, but he didn't say anything. He just gave her that cold stare, his jaw clenched.
Katara turned. She stormed out of the room, her eyes burning.
Guards were quick on her heels, but she didn't care. It felt like a dam had just broke—
And she was drowning.
— — — — —
The next day, she wasn't greeted by the usual guards who escorted her to the infirmary. That Fire Sage, Mokan, was standing outside her door right as the sun rose in the sky. Her body always protested to getting up early. She loved the nighttime, the feel of the moon shining, but she hardly ever got to see it. They knew the moon made her stronger, so they strategically modified her schedule to not be around water when it was full or bright.
Katara glanced behind Mokan, making sure no one else was waiting in the hallway, but it was just him. Not even a single guard.
"Can I help you?" She asked.
"I think I'm the one who can help you," he said, smiling. "Come with me."
Katara quirked an eyebrow, "I need to get to the infirmary."
"No, it's quite alright. This outing has been approved by the Emperor himself."
That didn't make her feel better. The opposite, in fact.
She expected to be taken back to the prison today after her failure with the Prince. She assumed he had told his father that he didn't want Katara as a healer, and so she would be deemed useless, despite her work at the infirmary. This felt all too eerie—she didn't know how to proceed or who to trust.
The new dynamics that were forming around her were like quicksand. They'd pull her under before she could reach for something solid to hold onto.
"I know you must be confused—especially after last night. I can explain everything to you." his eyes were pleading, and if she was naive, she would have believed he had pure intentions, but this was the Fire Nation. The only people who rose to power here were cutthroat—discarding those in their way through hushed deals in nightfall.
Katara would have to adapt. Moving like a current adjusting to a new rock formation.
"Okay," she said cautiously.
"Good. Follow me."
They walked through the corridor, tall open windows letting in the humid air. Servants and ranking officials were busy with the start of their days. Katara glanced to Mokan, wondering where he was taking her as they winded through the palace halls.
The two of them entered the back courtyard where a marble fountain with a phoenix sitting on top trickled lightly. The lawn had tall hedges, gardeners were tending to them and the many plants in the surrounding gardens. All of them were foreign to her. They didn't have anything but ice in the tundra, and she never had much time to learn the herbology of the Fire Nation. They didn't even let her read books. She had one job—that's all she was to them. A foreigner with a purpose to serve wounded soldiers.
Mokan stopped near a tree blossoming with silver flowers. They were bunched together to create a waterfall of light gray around the branches. He reached up to pull one limb down so he could smell the sweet aroma they produced, "Silver wisteria. You'll only find them here on palace grounds. They're my favorite."
"Why?" Katara asked as she joined him. They seemed kind of plain compared to some of the other vibrant flowers growing in the gardens.
"On the outside, they look like simple plants," he let go of the flowers and turned to the waterbender. "Nothing more than a pretty decoration, but the petals from the flowers can be used to brew a magnificent tea."
"So, just for the tea then?" Katara raised her eyebrows.
Mokan chuckled, "The tea has mind-altering properties if combined with the right herbs. The Fire Sages drink it during their training to try and commune with the spirits, well at least they used to. It was a tradition learned from the monks of the Air Nation." Speaking of the other nations like this was forbidden. No one was above the Fire Nation. All other traditions and cultures were supposed to be seen as inferior. "You would be surprised how many useful properties you can find in the plants around here. Everyone just wants something pretty to look at. They don't look much deeper than what's on the surface."
Katara huffed, "And your point is?"
She could read between the lines, and she just wanted him to get on with it.
"This ordeal with the Prince, it's shaken the Emperor, but not out of concern for his son." Mokan leaned against the tree, glancing over his shoulder at the nearby gardener. He leaned forward to speak in a quiet voice. "You're in a very delicate position, Katara."
"I tried to help Prince Zuko, but he wasn't very receptive," she responded. "I know there's pressure on this, but how can I help someone who seems to despise my presence?"
"It's not about that," Mokan answered. "Things are changing out there in the world. Emperor Ozai fears the rebellion's growing strength. The last anyone saw of the Prince, he was tracking down a band of rogues, and then he disappears."
Katara nodded, "So the Emperor thinks he might have gotten involved in something he shouldn't?" She looked to the ground, eyebrows furrowed. "The thing that doesn't make sense in all this is me. Why would he want a waterbender involved? Shouldn't this be, I don't know, secret?"
"Because you're the only one with the power to help him remember. Everyone knows waterbenders can soothe the mind, cure all ailments, even lost memories, if they dig deep enough."
"But I'll hear everything. I'll be in a position to know things I shouldn't."
Mokan let out a long breath, "Aren't you forgetting the leverage they have over you?"
Azula's words slammed into her again. No funny business, waterbender...Sokka was it?
It all made sense in that moment. She was the only one they could count on to not tell because she had no one here on her side, and because any step out of line would end with her family's deaths. Their blood on her hands. Anything she heard from Zuko that might have been delicate information...she could be counted on to keep it secret because those secrets were her lifeline now.
"Here are the rules I am to convey to you," Mokan said. "After every session with the Prince, you are to report to Princess Azula, but Zuko must not know that, or else he might resist. Everything he tells you must be told to the Princess. If she finds out you have withheld any information, she will send the order for the Southern Water Tribe to be destroyed for good." Katara felt ringing in her ears, this was worse than she ever imagined.
"Why didn't I get told any of this last night?"
"She wanted to see how you would react to each other, and clearly, there is work that needs to be done. He needs to trust you, Katara, and I have been assigned to help you," Mokan smiled. "I am simply here to assist, and to help you navigate his...difficult personality."
Katara scoffed, "That's an understatement."
So, she was supposed to find out what the Prince had been up to in his lost year? Be a spy for Azula and her father so they could what? Charge him with treason? Kill him? There were still missing pieces to the puzzle that Azula had all to herself, and Katara felt too many steps behind. She was being used as a pawn in this game. She had to figure out how to become a player.
"You have another scheduled session with him in an hour. Ty Lee will help you get ready again, and this time..." Mokan met her gaze. "Maybe try not to yell at him and storm out." Katara nodded—that may prove difficult, but now that she knew what was on the line, she could show more restraint. "Oh and one last thing, Katara. If you give Azula and the Emperor the information they want," she sucked in a breath. Mokan gave her a soft grin, "they'll give you your freedom."
— — — — —
Katara barely registered anything Ty Lee said as she helped her get ready. Another silk dress and Fire Nation insignia. But all she could think about was her conversation with Mokan. Everything was at the tip of her fingers, her freedom, seeing her family again, being away from this horrible place. All she had to do was be a spy for Azula, find incriminating evidence that Zuko helped the rebellion, and watch as he was stabbed in the back by his own father and sister. This was messy, she'd have to get her hands dirty, but sometimes, getting to the right ends meant doing things you usually wouldn't.
And Katara would do anything to get back to her family. If Zuko had to go down for her to get out of here, so be it. She could live with that.
This time, she didn't hesitate as the Fire Sages finished cleansing his room. Mokan gave her an encouraging nod as he passed, and she stepped into Zuko's room with a newfound confidence.
He was already sitting on the edge of his bed, but he was wearing his Fire Nation robes with his hair pulled back into a top knot. He looked different like this—more refined and dangerous almost. Like he was close to teetering off some invisible edge.
His glowing amber eyes latched onto her own, and she felt breathless, reminded of that dying boy. This wasn't him, not anymore.
Katara cleared her throat, "I didn't mean to yell at you last night. I was just frustrated," he just kept staring at her, not saying anything. "Look, I am your Healer whether you like it or not. I have been asked to help you, and if you actually want to try and get your memories back, I'm your only option." Still nothing but silence. Katara chewed on her cheek. She felt that rising anger again, and she threw out her hands. "Are you not going to say anything?"
"I know you," he said, catching her off guard. "At first, I didn't realize who you were, but now, I know." She felt her heart pounding in her ears. "Katara."
So he did remember.
"I—I didn't think you'd remember."
"Well, I do," he said, looking away. "Just, do what you need to do and leave. I won't freak out on you this time, I promise."
Still cold, but open at least.
Katara nodded and crossed the room to stand in front of him. He kept his gaze averted away from her as she dipped her hands into the cool water.
When she raised her hands to his ears, he let out a slow breath and closed his eyes.
Several minutes passed of them breathing in sync so he could completely relax and have a peaceful mind. The water illuminated their faces in blue as soft sunlight poured into the room, dawning over the city.
"Go back to that last day," she said in a soothing voice. "Walk me through it."
"Uncle and I woke to news of the Avatar being on Kyoishi Island, we were traveling there. It's always thought to be a rebel stronghold, but the unagi makes bringing a boat into the harbor almost impossible."
"Did you make it there?"
"No," he shook his head, sweat breaking out on his forehead. "We stopped for supplies in an Earth Kingdom town. That's when we were attacked."
"Who attacked you?"
"A band of rebels. They raided our ship and took my Uncle. I was tracking them down when..." Zuko trailed off. "I don't know. It's all so blurry."
"You said your Uncle found you, so you had to have rescued him."
"I don't think so," Zuko breathed heavily. "I think...I think something bad happened. To me."
He was visibly shaking. Katara put even more of her power into calming his mind. The water lit up the entire room.
"Focus," she said. "It's okay. You're safe here."
"No, no! Stop, Stop!"
Katara pulled her hands away and Zuko hunched over, holding his head in his hands, "What's wrong?"
"It felt like my head was about to explode. Is that normal?"
"Not usually, but I've also never tried to find lost memories with someone before."
Zuko looked up, "Why did my sister ask you to do this?"
"To help you—"
Zuko laughed, "Azula doesn't give a shit about me. She has ulterior motives. She always does."
"Well, if she does, I don't know them. I'm just your Healer." He analyzed her, looking for any sign of lies. Would he see right through her? There were words caught in his throat—questions he wanted to ask but wouldn't because he didn't trust her. "We can try again if you want. If it's not too much, I mean."
Zuko sighed, his voice strained, "Sure, just get it over with."
Katara bended the water over her hands again and waited for him to close his eyes and relax.
But she knew, deep down, in order for a connection to be established to retrieve the memories, both parties had to be open to finding them.
Clearly, there were things Zuko didn't want to face.
However, if she wanted to see her family again, she'd have to find a way to make him.
Notes:
thanks so much for the kudos and comments!
Chapter Text
LOST
SONG: SLOW LIFE—OF MONSTERS AND MEN
"Between the daylight and the deep sea
Lies a swarm of silhouettes floating aimlessly
But I'm a mountain, I am a killer
You'll get lost and buried deep if you swim with me"
——————————————————————————
"Don't go, Dad."
The wind howled, crisp and cold and hollow, slicing through every layer. Above, a crescent moon dominated the Southern sky, casting sparkling tendrils of pale light onto the snow falling delicately on her blue parka. Katara was trying to hold herself together—she knew her father didn't have a choice, but that didn't make this any easier. She was scared, no terrified, of watching her father's fleet sail away because in this war, it was more common for them never return than to be seen again. So maybe she wanted to be selfish—to make a request she knew she shouldn't. They had already lost their mom six months ago. How could she live without either of them?
Katara gripped her necklace, the cool, blue stone that grounded her in these hard moments, and she looked into the distance, miles and miles of freezing ocean and icebergs. A path to the warring world she once thought they were safe from here in this secluded place. All of the fighting was in the North, no one thought the firebenders would ever venture South.
She glanced over her shoulder, back to their small village of igloos and rising, thick smoke. A village permanently scarred, beaten down by the constant raids to wipe out what waterbenders the Emperor could.
Katara was all that was left of the legacy.
But there was no one who could help her.
"Let me come with you. I need to learn waterbending. I can fight too!"
Hakoda chuckled and turned to his daughter. Leaning down, looking into her fierce, blue eyes, he shook his head, "Katara, you're only ten years old."
"This may be my only chance," she pleaded. "Please, Dad."
"I'll make you a deal," he said, smiling lightly. "When I come back, I'll bring someone with me to train you, and you can learn here, in your home."
Katara huffed, "You promise?"
Her father pulled her in for a tight hug. Tears welled in her eyes, and he let out a shaky breath.
"I promise."
The dream awoke her—the memory. It was all so vivid, so clear. She could feel the kiss of the icy wind and the tears starting to freeze on her flushed cheeks. The cocoon of the soft parka, and her father's smile. Katara stared at the ceiling in the dark. Her father's promise echoed in her thoughts.
He never came back. Katara couldn't know if it was because he was dead or because he was still fighting alongside the Northern Tribe, trying to take back power in their city. She never heard news of the war, only fading whispers of the rebellion's growing strength. But, Katara didn't get her hopes up. The Fire Nation won the war one hundred years ago, and pockets of stronger resistances always flared up and they were always put down. This time would be no different. She had learned better than to put her hope in some newfound rebel cause. No real change would ever happen until the Avatar finally returned—took his place in this world and faced the Emperor. And that hadn't happened.
Maybe it never would.
Katara thought she was someone with unbreakable hope, but this world—this place—it devoured her. Surrounded by her enemy on every side, she had no one to turn to. Not one person in this city who she could confide in or count on. She had always felt stuck, like there was nothing she could do to change her fate.
But now, maybe, just maybe, she found a way out. A ray of light in the haze of smoke. A firebender's downfall that would lead to her freedom.
A scarred Prince who might have betrayed his country, and she would have to betray him.
But as Katara learned long ago, this world was cruel. No one got what they wanted playing by the rules, it was why the rebels never got anywhere. They were playing fair while the Fire Nation was conducting mass genocide.
Sometimes, in order to kill a monster, you had to dip into the darkness with it.
Katara only hoped she'd be able to find the light again.
—————
"So, you're telling me you found out nothing?"
Katara stared out the window in one of the sun rooms. The Princess reclined across from her in a lounge chair, picking at dirt underneath her fingernails. The sun reflected off the stain-glass windows, creating identical flames in the stone floor. The pictures detailed the day of Sozin's Comet, in a more friendly way of course. Just a giant ball of fire, shooting across the night sky like some kind of heroic myth. It was all a lie.
"He has a block in his mind," Katara answered.
"Well, unblock it."
"It doesn't work like that," she said, shifting her eyes to Azula.
Azula sat up straight, "Then, explain it to me. I don't have all day, peasant."
Katara imagined slicing water right at the Princess, knocking her off that chair. She would if she could.
Instead, she simply took a calming breath, "I heard stories when I was little—"
"Agni, I don't care about your life story. Just get to the point."
"Fine," Katara said through clenched teeth. "A connection has to be established to go that deep into someone's mind. Without Prince Zuko trusting me fully, I can only soothe his thoughts, not retrieve a year's worth of lost memories."
"I see," Azula rubbed her chin, eyes tight in thought. "Go to the turtleduck pond."
"What?"
Sighing, the Princess stood, "Honestly, do I have to dumb it all down for you? That's his favorite spot, he's always there this time of day."
"Okay, and you want me too...?"
"I want you to do your job," Azula answered. "And it seems, in order for that to happen, you must establish some sort of...relationship with my brother."
Relationship? "I—I didn't mean that kind of connection. Besides, I have trouble even getting him to talk to me—"
"Relax, waterbender, I'm not asking for you to like him," Azula walked to the door, stopping to look at Katara, a curious glint in her eyes. "Make him like you."
When Katara was left alone in the sun room, guards waiting just outside to escort her, she actually laughed out loud at the absurdity of all this. It all seemed like some weird hallucination, like she was high off that tea Mokan told her about, and all of this would end in her waking up with a bad headache. She pinched her forearm—there was a bruise forming now because she had to remind herself so many times that this was real.
Katara had no idea how to make the grumpy Prince even be able to withstand her presence, let alone like her. Trust her. You would think saving someone's life would earn a little more than begrudging stares and angsty outbursts. His ungratefulness only added to the list of things she didn't like about him. His unwillingness to cooperate was the worst part. Didn't he realize that if she couldn't do her job, she might be executed? Or worse, her family might be in danger? Surely he know what happened to people deemed disposable.
Surely he knew, because his own father hadn't cared if he lived or died.
Then again, maybe Prince Zuko remembered more than he was letting on and he was blocking her out on purpose. But she just couldn't imagine someone with Ozai's blood actually helping the rebellion. None of it made sense, but she would have to find answers if she wanted to keep those she loved safe.
Swallowing her disputes, she followed the guards to the turtleduck pond on the outside of the East Wing of the palace. It reminded her of the royal gardens, but more simple and serene. It was a large patch of freshly cut grass and a pond with baby turtleducks swimming after their mother. A marble fountain sat adjacent to it, clear water trickling down the sides. And it was vacant of anyone, except for the Prince.
The midday sun was beating against her skin. She wore her usual, loose red shirt and pants while he was dressed in his full regalia. Seeing him like this felt odd for some reason. He looked so stiff and frigid—unwelcoming most of all. It was like facing a deadly polar leopard, and she was lost in the wild.
The guards kept their distance on the other side of the grass clearing, but she felt their eyes following her every step towards the Prince. Katara fidgeted with her thumbs as she stopped several feet away from him. His eyes were glued to the turtleducks, never once acknowledging her. What should she say? Hey, your sister is an evil bitch, and she wants you dead, so I have to prove you committed treason?
"What are you doing out here?" He spoke first, his voice sharp and rough.
Katara shrugged, "I needed some air."
"The windows are always open when it's this hot," he replied, finally shifting his one good eye to her. "Why are you still here?"
"Well, the last time I checked, this area is open to everyone—"
"No, I mean, why are you still alive?" That question made her suck in a breath. The Prince studied her face. "My father has never let a waterbender live this long before."
"He thought my healing abilities were useful," Katara answered.
"So, what? You've just been living in the palace fixing up soldiers?"
Katara couldn't control the glare that took over her eyes, "You make it sound like I didn't get taken against my will from my home and family and everything I ever loved to be a prisoner here."
Zuko looked to the ground, "Maybe I know the feeling."
"You know nothing!" Katara's plan had been thrown out the window. She was overcome with her anger, and it was all directed at him. "You didn't get taken away from your Tribe and have to adapt to a place that hates you! A place that thinks you're nothing! I've had to live amongst the people who are wiping out my entire culture! The people who..." Tears were threatening to come to her eyes. The people who killed my mother. "You know what? It doesn't matter. You're the Emperor's son, spreading war and hatred and violence in the world. You're the last person I want to talk to about this."
His gaze hardened. He stepped closer, towering over her, but she didn't back down, "You don't know as much as you think."
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt the spoiled little Prince's feelings?"
The fire in his eyes was simmering, one more push and flames would be sparking from his fingertips, "Stop talking. Right now."
If guards weren't watching her, she would've slapped him.
She was breathing heavily, steam practically bursting from her ears. Katara threw up her hands in frustration, and before she even knew it, the Prince was drenched from head to toe in pond water.
He gasped, and so did she. Not out of regret, but from shock she was even able to cause such a disturbance.
"Prince Zuko!" The guards had their hands on her in an instant. "What should we do with her?"
Their eyes met, but she wouldn't plead for mercy. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. No matter what punishment he had in store—
"Let her go," Wait, really? The guards looked more dumbfounded than her. "Just escort the waterbender back to her room."
"My Prince, your father would see her burned for this—"
Zuko had a stare like daggers, making the guard gulp and retreat back, but the Prince took a threatening step, his jaw tight, "I am not my father."
His stare shifted to Katara, piercing her very soul, wild and flaming, and she couldn't move. All she could do was stare back, her lips parted as she tried to control her breathing, trying to calm herself down so she didn't do anything else stupid.
"We're even now."
The words echoed and stayed even as he turned his back and walked away.
We're even now.
Yes, she supposed they were.
He could be free of feeling in debt to her, and she could forget about that dying boy who needed her. Thank you, Katara. She squeezed her eyes shut.
However, that night, it wasn't the wounded boy who visited her dreams. It was the returned Prince, looking at her through his golden eyes, always stone-cold and haunting. He was always there, in her dreams, one way or another. She liked to remember her one good deed in this life that had saved someone from death's glacial kiss. It was like something solid to hold onto, like her memories of Sokka and her father and her home. Something pure and untouched by the chaos around her.
But, now, three new words lingered in the plane between sleep and daydreams. We're even now.
And his eyes. Always his eyes.
—————
There were several things about Katara's new promotion that were hard to get used to. The silk dresses and makeup and jewelry were obvious discomforts as they dressed her up like one of them, but the outings with Ty Lee were even more strange. She walked among the members of high society like she belonged there, well, except for the lingering stares at her eye and skin color. Good, I don't want them thinking I belong here. At least they can't take that away.
"What about this one?"
Ty Lee held up a piece of ruby red silk decorated with falling gold leaves around the waist. Katara nodded, forcing another smile.
"It's nice."
Ty Lee frowned, "That's what you said about the last five."
"Sorry, I just feel distracted today," Katara glanced around the marketplace in the Upper Ring. Everything around them was prestigious and expensive from the tall houses to even the shiny cobblestone. The way the sun fell on the rooftops made everything cascaded by a warm hue. Katara was sweating through her shirt, and she ached to get out of this humidity.
"We have to find you something to wear to the Military Gala," Ty Lee browsed through a few other dresses. "It's this tradition where the most important and trusted Generals meet with the Emperor while everyone else is distracted by the party."
Katara furrowed her eyebrows, "They have meetings all the time."
Her companion shrugged, "I guess something's different about this one."
"Why do I even have to go?" Katara asked, making a mental note to find out more about this Gala. "I've never been invited before."
"Katara, you're attending to the royal household now, which means, you'll attend all events on the social calendar," Katara looked to the sky and groaned. "Hey, it's actually really fun! There's dancing and performers, oh and alcohol!"
"Well, at least there will be one thing I can enjoy," the waterbender muttered.
Ty Lee grabbed her arm, "Now, start giving me your honest opinions, or I'm going to pick something for you."
That wouldn't be good. Ty Lee would probably pick the skimpiest dress in this entire marketplace, and Katara wasn't trying to draw attention to herself at this Gala.
"Anyway, we have to finish up. You have another session with Zuko soon." Katara groaned again. "Come on, it can't be going that bad."
In fact, it was.
For the past week, every time Katara went to his room, Prince Zuko just downed a glass of fire whiskey and barely looked at her. He was fighting as hard as he could against her when she entered his mind. They were going backwards in terms of progress.
Then, she'd mutter curses at him and storm out.
And the cycle repeated.
She had been spending a lot more time catching up on patients in the infirmary. Azula wanted all her focus on the Prince, but there were soldiers who needed healing. Besides, she could lose herself in the job and forget about everything else going on. Forget the soldiers, they don't matter. It's what Azula would say. We have plenty on the frontlines. It disturbed her how disposable everyone was to the Fire Nation, even their own people.
Katara finally settled on a black dress. She finally found one that wasn't red, and even though it didn't cover as much as she liked, it was better than many other options.
When she got back, she went straight to Prince Zuko's room, and as the Fire Sages left, she was prepared to enter into their new routine of fire whiskey and avoidant stares and angry mumbles. Sure enough, he had his head tilted back, gulping down the glass of alcohol. The sound of the glass hitting the table was louder than it should have been as his eyes flickered across the room and found her.
But he turned his back to the waterbender and sat on his bed. Here we go again.
No, Katara thought, no this has to change. He has to cooperate with me.
She inhaled a heavy breath and made long strides to cross the room.
"This isn't going to work," she said as she stopped in front of him. "If you don't give a shit about retrieving the memories, that's fine, but I do because more than one life depends on it."
"I want my memories back," Zuko replied quietly, looking at the floor.
Katara scoffed, "Well, you sure aren't acting like it."
"I know," his breath smelled like smoke and whiskey. As he looked up at her, she took a small step away, realizing she had been far too close in her state of frustration. "It's hard to trust people here. Everyone answers to my sister and she answers to my father."
"You don't trust your family?"
"I trust my Uncle, and they sent him away again to quiet some uprisings in Ba Sing Se," Zuko said.
"Why would they do that?"
"Because they don't trust me either. I know they think I was out helping the rebels in my year away, but I'd never do that. I'd never betray my country, but that's what you're here for isn't it?" Their eyes met. "To find out if I did."
Katara decided to try a different angle.
She stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "I'm here to help you, Zuko," saying his name felt strange, and she definitely had his full attention now. "I know facing the past is scary, but we can do it together, and if you'd prefer, we can do things a little different."
"How so?"
"I can put your mind into a dream-like state. You'd fall asleep and relive things like you would in a dream, but there's a chance that you'd forget a few details when you woke up. It's not as efficient, but you could wake up and write everything down. You wouldn't have to walk me through everything. I'd only hear what you wanted me to."
Azula wouldn't be happy with this, but there was no other choice. If the Princess was desperate to find out what happened during Zuko's lost year, she'd have to settle for this and a find a way to get her hands on Zuko's notes once he remembered everything.
"Why didn't we just do this from the start?"
"Well, it's not exactly... safe."
"What?"
Katara sighed, "If you get dragged too deep into a memory, you might not wake up. You'll get stuck in your own mind, reliving the same day over and over again."
"So, how do I not do that?"
"A safe word," she answered. "If you feel yourself slipping, I can pull you out of the session."
Zuko stood, and she practically stumbled back.
He started pacing around the room, "And you've never done this before?"
"Well...no," Katara said. "I heard stories from my grandmother of waterbenders who were able to heal the body and the mind. The dreamwalking, as she called it, was one of the methods, but it's dangerous."
Zuko whipped his body back towards her, "Let's do it."
"Wait, really?" Katara blinked several times. "Are...are you sure? There are other side effects—"
"I don't care. I need to get my memories back, and I can't trust that you aren't working for my sister. So this is our only option."
The other side effect was that his dreams might fade into reality. He wouldn't be able to tell if he was awake or asleep if they did this too many times. GranGran had seen it happen before, and Katara was afraid. She didn't want to cause Zuko to become trapped in his dreams because of her, but there wasn't another choice.
"Okay," Katara said, reluctantly. "but you have to listen to everything I say, or else it will go terribly wrong."
"Fine, how does it work?"
"Um..." She shifted uncomfortably. The way this worked would be awkward for both of them.
Sighing, he threw out his arms, "Just spit it out."
Well, it was now or never.
Katara moved to his bed and sat down with her back leaning against the soft pillows and headboard. The Fire Nation prince eyed her position as she motioned for him to join her, "Lie down and put your head in my lap." He hesitated, and Katara let out an exasperated breath. "You said you would listen, remember?"
Her body was as stiff as an iceberg as he approached the bed, his footsteps echoing to her chest. Katara tried to look at the ceiling or anything but him as the mattress gave to his weight. Nothing could prepare her for how warm he felt as he reclined backwards and let his head fall on top of her crossed legs. The dress she wore was hunched up to her mid thigh, and the skin of his neck was burning into her legs. Focus, Katara.
As she bended water around her hands, she pressed the liquid around both his ears until it extended to his temples, "I'm going to calm your mind, and you're going to fall into a dreamlike state. Focus on the last thing you remember. Don't let that moment leave your thoughts. If it gets to be too much say...turtleduck."
"Turtleduck? Really?"
"It was the first thing that popped into my mind. Now, hush and focus!"
Katara could pinpoint the exact moment he fell into the dream state because the harsh scowl always present on his face disappeared.
He looked younger like this, and softer. Like a boy not haunted by the trials of war or scars.
No, she can't get distracted by his looks.
She breathed deeply, and the bluish glow of the water enveloped the room...
ZUKO
memory one
It was like watching someone else live his own life.
Zuko couldn't explain the feeling. It did seem like a dream, the most vivid and intense he had ever experienced. Somehow, he was still aware of Katara's presence. Her cool skin against his neck, her hands controlling the soothing water around his ears. Like he was in two places at once. He focused on the scene before him: Uncle talking with him at the peer of the Earth Kingdom town. It was a fishing village with small straw-roofed marketplaces. The streets were made of rough cobblestone, and there were mountains looming in the distance with clouds drifting near the peaks. He could even smell the salt in the air and freshly caught fish outside the nearest store.
Uncle was saying something to him, and Zuko nearly missed it, "A storm is brewing in the West."
"What are you talking about Uncle? It's a perfectly sunny day! And I won't let anything delay me from finding the Avatar, especially when we're this close to his trail."
"Patience, Prince Zuko," Uncle placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shoved it away.
"I'm done being patient."
He could remember everything he felt in that moment; anger, shame, frustration, and even the heat beating down from the sun above stirring power through his veins. If it wasn’t for Katara acting as his anchor to reality, he could get lost in this dream state. Forgetting which one was real and which was a scene from past, forgotten moments.
His body turned, and he looked over his shoulder at the crew lingering by the boat awaiting their orders.
“Let’s restock our supplies and move on. We can’t linger too long.”
Uncle’s stomach growled so loud that Zuko could hear from several feet away, “And let’s find a good noddle shop. I’m famished.”
”Whatever, just hurry up.”
While his Uncle wandered down the streets in search of some lunch, Zuko headed towards the edge of town. There was a dense forest surrounding the markets and houses. It expanded for miles and miles, and Zuko needed time to himself to think, away from the confines of his ship. The fresh air was already giving him solace. He breathed in deep through his nostrils and exhaled a band of smoke. Scattering animals rustled bushes and low foliage as he walked deeper into the line of trees. The branches above were like a maze of tangling wood, blocking his view of the cloudless sky. Zuko didn't stop moving until he stumbled upon a wide stream. He leaned down and splashed his face a few times with the crystal clear water. It slinked down his chin as he rubbed his temples, trying to chase away the rising headache.
It had been so long—so many years at sea and an ocean away from his home. He was still in contact with this father, going to quiet uprisings where he was ordered, but he wasn't welcome in the Fire Nation. Not until he had the Avatar. Not until he could restore his honor.
And this was the closest he was since he started this journey with Uncle at fourteen.
The night he received his scar still haunted his dreams. The horrible realization that his father was the one on the other side of the arena. The echoes of his screams, and the blasting fire hitting him again and again and again without mercy. This is for your own good. Zuko flinched at the memory. Suffering will be your teacher.
There were moments in those dreams his mind wandered to the last thing he remembered from that night: a blurry image of a prisoner above him. A waterbender. Her eyes were as blue as the sea, full of such strength and depth and mystery. She looked down at him, and the image of her was what he held onto while she healed him.
The way Zuko thought of her was familiar. Wondering if she was still alive—if she managed to escape and go home. He could never repay her.
A low rumble brought Zuko out of his thoughts. His straightened his back. His eyes scanned the clearing for the noise, but found nothing.
"Who's there?" he called out, his hands balling into fists.
But he didn't get a chance to find out. Because seconds later, a giant slab of earth came soaring out of the ground.
It collided with the back of his head, and the Prince of the Fire Nation fell.
He heard footsteps approaching as his consciousness faded. The last thing he heard was a female voice above him.
"You walked into the wrong forest, Sparky."
Notes:
PLEASE READ: something to note for clarification: in the original series, waterbenders can soothe the mind, but that part of their bending isn't expanded much on. this story has elements of canon, but will not be fully canon compliant. in my story, waterbenders have a deep connection with the human mind through their bending. this is pretty common knowledge about waterbenders who have healing abilities. it comes naturally to katara because she is such a great healer. the depth of this ability will be explored and built upon more as the story continues.
Chapter 5: Ghosts
Chapter Text
THE ALCOTT—TAYLOR SWIFT AND THE NATIONAL
"It's the last thing you wanted (tell me, which side are you on, dear?)
It's the first thing you do (give me some tips to forget you)
You tell me your problems (have I become one of your problems?)
And I tell you the truth (could it be easy this once?)"
————————————————————————————
Katara stared at her hands. They were folded neatly in her lap, freshly stained with blood.
The last group of soldiers brought to the tent were some of the worst she had seen. There were whispers of the fighting becoming more and more brutal, but this...even Katara who had spent nearly seven years amongst the dead and dying needed a second to compose herself.
Her hands began shaking as she stood from the crate of supplies that sat near the back of the tent. Katara couldn't think in this heat. She couldn't think over the screams of agony and the blood clinging to her skin, and the sweat pouring down her face. She needed the cold, the ice-chilling winds, and the soft snows of her home. But, everywhere she looked was red. Oh, how she hated that color. And she couldn't escape it. her strength wavered. She looked to the towering back gates around palace grounds and the guards on their afternoon patrol. How far could I make it? Would I be better off trying, even it meant I was executed for it?
No, she couldn't have those thoughts. Not while her Tribe still needed her.
"The waterbender is out back, Your Highness."
Azula, not again, and not now. Not while she was feeling weak and helpless and light-headed. Probably from dehydration. After she drenched the Prince with pond water, they were limiting her supply again. Besides, she had already met with Azula earlier. The Princess wasn't happy with the change in Katara's plans, but she was clever and had already decided what to do. That once a week while Zuko was in training, Katara had to steal his notes and let Azula read them, and then she had to return them before his training session was over. Katara had mentioned that Azula was perfectly capable of getting his notes herself, especially with the number of people under her command, but the Princess was under strict orders from her father to involve no one else in this. The only people who knew what was going on was the Emperor himself, Azula, Mokan, and Katara. It didn't make sense to her completely. If they were so sure Zuko committed treason, why go through all this? Why not throw him in jail? She was still missing vital pieces of this puzzle.
And she had no idea how to find them.
Azula had raised the concern of Zuko stopping with his notes, but Katara assured her that if he didn't write everything down the second he woke up, he was in danger of forgetting them again, just like when waking from a dream.
Katara swayed, but she regained her footing, wiping the sweat from her face as she turned to face the ruthless Princess.
Her breath hitched when instead, she was face-to-face with Prince Zuko.
He was taken off guard as he surveyed her. The blood and grime, the color fading from her face. She was sure she looked dreadful, and he wasn't expecting it.
"I...I thought you didn't have to do this anymore."
"I don't," Katara replied, failing to put strength behind her words. Her voice was quiet and fragile. It was hard to even speak. "But, these soldiers won't heal themselves."
"You look like you need a break."
"I'm fine," she hissed. "What are you doing here anyway?"
Zuko scratched the back of his head, and she noticed he wasn't in his royal robes. Instead he wore loose pants and a red tunic with gold stitched into the hem. His hair was down, hanging loosely around his forehead.
"I wanted to see this for myself, soldiers coming back from the frontlines, I mean."
Katara scoffed in disbelief, "Yeah, because you're exactly the person they want to see while on their deathbeds."
His eyebrows furrowed, "What?"
"Your family is the one forcing them to march to their deaths. All because the Emperor wants to conquer the world..." Katara's eyes widened. She shouldn't speak so openly about her anger for the Fire Nation, least of all to Zuko. But why was it so easy to let those words slip in this presence? When she hesitantly met his gaze again, he wasn't looking at her with anger or bitterness, just a strange curiosity. "The fighting on the frontlines is horrible. Your men come back worse each week. I'm losing more and more of them."
The Prince clenched his jaw, "My father and sister think of the nonbending soldiers as expendable."
"And what do you think?"
She wasn't sure what she wanted him to say. Zuko inhaled a quick breath, opening his mouth to give her an honest answer—
"Well, well, are you two finally getting along?" Every muscle in Zuko's body tensed. His soft stare turned cold and guarded as his sister walked through the back flap of the tent. She crossed her arms over her chest, smirking. "I asked because I want an answer, dum dum."
"Our sessions are going well, if that's what you want to know," he said, venom in his voice.
"Great news for Father then," she shifted her eyes to Katara. "And you, you're serving the royal household now, so the Emperor wants all your focus on healing my brother. He's taking down your infirmary tomorrow."
"What?" Katara and Zuko spoke at the same time.
The waterbender shook her head, "But, the soldiers—"
"Are no longer your concern, peasant."
"Who will heal them?"
"We have esteemed healers in the Fire Nation who are perfectly capable of helping our wounded soldiers."
This wasn't much, but at least it made Katara feel like she was making a difference, even if it was healing enemy soldiers. It was a way to drown her mind for the day, completely overtaken by her work. It made reality sink away. Things were simple here—black and white—heal wounded men, save who she could. Everywhere else on palace grounds was marred in uncertainty and deadly traps disguised in fine silks and elegant dinners.
But what could she do? Katara had no say in anything here. Her deal with Azula was all she had—her only chance of ever getting away from Fire Nation shores.
"I still want to help them."
"You have orders, waterbender," Azula snapped. "Do you need a reminder of what happens to people who disobey the Emperor? What do you think, brother? Should we teach her a lesson?"
Zuko's face gave nothing away. His lips were pressed into a hard line.
Katara could no longer contain her anger. She had been worked to the bone for years, all because of the royal family and their orders, and she had saved so many of their soldiers—men fighting against what she stands for. She put her own biases aside because none of these men deserved to die, not when they were forced to the frontlines by a indifferent ruler who couldn't care less about their survival. Katara was the only person who cared. Maybe she cared too much.
"There shouldn't be anything wrong with wanting to save lives, especially those of your people—!"
The pain took a second to register. Blistering, blue heat across her right forearm. Katara cried out, and looked down in shock at the angry, burned flesh. From her elbow to her hand, there was excruciating pain, and Azula laughed.
The waterbender stumbled back and fell onto a crate, holding her injured arm in shock. Her vision was blurry. All she felt was the intense pain.
Katara heard voices mixing, but everything became distant. She swayed, struggling to focus. Then, she fell to the side, and her eyes shifted up.
Standing over her were Zuko and Azula. The Princess was smirking and ordering guards to come forward and carry Katara away. Zuko didn't protest—in fact he said nothing at all.
The boy with the scar just stared down at her with that look that still haunts her dreams. He stared, and he did nothing, and for some reason, that stung even more than Azula's blue fire.
————————————————————————————
"Katara."
The world was inky and distorted—she had no idea where she was. Just that whatever she was laying on was hard and uncomfortable, and it felt like someone had thrown her arm into a wildfire.
She struggled to open her eyes, "Katara. Wake up."
Her blue orbs snapped open then, and she groaned in pain.
"Ty Lee?"
"Yes, it's me. I brought you some food."
Finally, she took in her surroundings, and she realized she was in a dark, empty room, so small that a bed would probably barely fit into it. There was a single, circular window above her, but it was small and barely allowed any light in, "Where am I?"
"The West Wing of the palace," She looked up and could make out Ty Lee's features as the girl leaned above her, a tray of steaming food in her hands. "This used to be one of Azula's extra closets, but she turned into an isolation room."
"Of course she did," Katara muttered.
She pulled her self into a sitting position and winced as she cradled her arm. In the darkness, she couldn't tell how bad it really was.
"They won't let me bring you any water, but I have some rice and dumplings." Katara couldn't even dream of eating. She felt sick to her stomach. "You'll need your strength."
The plate clattered lightly as Ty Lee set it down in front of her, "How long do I have to stay in here?"
"Until Azula is satisfied with your punishment." Katara realized that she might be in here forever. "I'll be back with more food in the morning."
When a guard opened the door for Ty Lee, enough light reflected into the room for Katara to glance down at her arm, and horror filled her body. The flesh was mangled with streaks of yellow blisters and sores. Parts of her skin were completely burned off. Her arm would never look the same. Even if she got to water immediately, she would have streaking scars all down her forearm.
However, if she didn't treat her arm soon, it would get severely infected, and she'd die in this room. Slowly. A fever would take her over a span of days. Or dehydration would get her first. She wondered which would be a worse way to go.
Katara could already feel the sweat of a dawning fever. Her body was still in shock, and she shook as she tried to eat. The pain was too much, though. It consumed every part of her, and she threw up what little food she forced down her throat.
She gave up and huddled in the corner into a ball. She closed her eyes and let the darkness take over again.
Time was a foreign concept in that room. It could've been hours or days or even weeks—Katara wouldn't know. It was the fever getting to her, she was sure of it, and the severity of the burn on top of dehydration. Succumbing to insanity was another option. She was sure Azula would love to open that door and find that she'd gone mad, even if it meant her plan with Zuko was completely foiled.
Tears began streaking down Katara's cheeks. She was a fool for thinking she could ever escape this place—for having hope that the Emperor would set her free if she completed her task. She was just as expendable as everyone else, and they were going to let her die in this isolation room. She'd never see the South Pole or her father or Sokka ever again. They probably assumed she was already dead anyway, fighting for the sake of her memory. She tried to do the same—fight for her family, but it hadn't gotten her anywhere. She was stuck amongst people she hated and who hated her. La, how much she hated each and every one of them. For everything they'd done to her, and to her culture, and to the rest of the world.
She tried to mask her hatred. She had to adapt to survive—play their game, heal their soldiers, attend to their Prince—but she wasn't sure she could do it anymore.
No, I can't give up. That was what Azula wanted after all, wasn't it? For her to become a shell of a person. It's why she was in this room. Azula wanted her to remember how alone she was here, and that she had no one to help her in this place. If Azula wanted her dead, she would've killed her instead of just burning her. This was all about mind games and manipulation. Katara sat up and wiped her tears. Keep your shit together, Katara.
"Keep your shit together," she muttered again to herself.
The waterbender forced herself to stay upright, and she managed to eat a few bites of rice and one dumpling. Her stomach still protested, but it stayed down this time.
She stared at the door, and eventually, after what felt like hours, it opened again.
The Princess of the Fire Nation almost seemed angry that Katara wasn't balled up in the corner shaking and crying. Azula crossed her arms over her chest, and sighed, "Learned your lesson yet, peasant?" Katara didn't answer, and she only looked away. "Well, I hope you have because it's time for another session with ZuZu."
Katara was forced to her feet by a couple of guards. Her hands were held in place while another titled a glass of water over her mouth, and she drank down every gulp. She was brought into a different room where Mai and Ty Lee were waiting, and a servant dressed her wound with some kind of cold cream that stung at first. Then the ugly, scarred skin was wrapped with fresh cloth.
"She can't possibly help the Prince in this state," that was Mokan's voice outside the door. "The girl can barely stand on her own two feet."
"Are you questioning me, Mokan? I act on the Emperor's orders."
"And he ordered you to burn her, throw her into a closet, and refuse to let her heal herself?"
"Well, he would've, if he heard how she spoke to me yesterday."
There was a beat of silence as Mai helped her into a silk dress while Ty Lee handed her a cup with a suspicious looking liquid, "Drink it. Mokan says it will help your energy." Katara had no choice but to turn the cup up. It tasted horrible, like a bunch of herbs that shouldn't be mixed together, but suddenly, the pain in her arm was lessened, and she felt more awake. "It's a tea the Fire Sages use to stay awake all night to pray and study, but when it wears off you'll probably have a really bad crash since you're..."
"Freshly tortured?" Mai finished.
"Yeah, that."
The feeling was definitely odd. Her heartbeat had picked up, and her mind was more clear. She was still experiencing cold sweats and pain from her arm, and she felt slightly dizzy, but it all was drowned by this intense urgency spiking through her veins.
"Katara, we're—we don't agree with Azula when she gets this way," Ty Lee placed a hand on Katara's shoulder. "I just hope you don't think we had a part in this."
Mai looked Katara right in the eyes, "Don't show her any weakness. It's what she feeds off of."
Weren't these two girls supposed to be Azula's best friends? Katara furrowed her eyebrows, but she nodded in understanding.
She heard Mokan in the hallway again, "If the waterbender dies by your hand, I can promise you, Princess, the Emperor will not be pleased."
"Ugh, you Fire Sages are so dramatic. It's honestly annoying," said Azula. "She'll be fine. I will have the healers attend to her once she has completed her duty for the night."
"Good, and the Emperor will expect her full recovery as soon as possible."
Katara didn't have time to process anything because seconds later, the door busted open, and guards had their hands on her again.
Her mind whirled as she was ushered through palace halls. It was like a pause was put on all her tiredness, but it was still lurking over her body, and her burned arm was screaming. Katara bit on her bottom lip so hard that she drew blood. She just had to get through this session with Zuko, and then she could focus on recovering. She hoped the effects of the tea would last long enough.
They pulled her to a stop outside a reluctantly familiar door. Prince Zuko's chambers were always daunting to her. She never knew what she would get when she walked through, and tonight was worst of all. Would he mock her situation? She couldn't be sure. He was impossible to figure out. One day he was stopping guards from punishing her, and the next, he did nothing while his sister tortured her. Was he just as sadistic as Azula? Playing tricks to get her guard down?
Katara swallowed heavily as she walked into his room.
His back was to her as he sat on his bed. The door to his balcony was open, and a fresh, nightly breeze whispered through the air, blowing the drapes around in a dancing pattern. He was scribbling a quill over parchment, writing in some kind of journal, but he must have heard her steps because he began speaking.
"I had a dream when I dozed off earlier, and I remembered more details from that last day," she stopped at the edge of his bed. "I was captured by rebels, but most of them were just kids. They got my Uncle too, and he got out, but I didn't. There was an earthbender and—" His expression turned into one of shock as he finally turned to look at her, and Katara wanted to shrink away, but she held his amber gaze strong. "What happened to you?"
"What happened?" Katara asked, suddenly finding her anger again. She scoffed loudly, "Did you lose your memory again, Prince Zuko? Did you forget when your sister nearly burned my arm off and threw me into a closet for a whole day?"
"Azula said..." Zuko looked down at her bandaged arm and trailed off, guilt washing over his expression. "I was told she let you heal yourself."
"Oh were you?" Katara sneered, "Well, not that you care, but she didn't."
He set his journal on his bedside table, stood, and took a step in her direction. Katara immediately retreated, and he held up his hands in surrender, "Relax. I'm not going to hurt you." She watched him with a sharp stare as he reached to the bowl of water that was always brought in for their sessions. Katara's body was rigid and tense as he approached her. He stood mere inches away, and held out the bowl.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm giving you water," he said, "so you can heal yourself."
"What kind of game are you trying to play here?" When she was met with only confusion, Katara narrowed her eyes, "You did nothing while Azula tortured me, and now you're trying to be kind?"
"I'm just trying to help you!"
"Help me?" Now Katara could really get a good laugh in. "Your family is the entire reason why I'm in this situation! Your father is trying to burn the entire world to the ground, and your sister thinks its fun to torment me every day by reminding me that at the snap of her fingers, what little is left of my people could be gone for good. So trust me, there is nothing I could possibly want from you, least of all your fucking help."
Her eyes were burning, so she turned her back to him. So he couldn't see her hurt expression, and so she couldn't see his, "Katara," he said, but she only shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. He can't watch her break down. Not him. Not anyone in his horrible family. "Katara, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what Azula did, but don't let your hatred for me stop you from helping yourself. You need to try and heal what you can."
The sound of the bowl being sat down on the bedside table echoed in the room, and Katara finally turned back around. There was a single tear staining her cheek, and when Zuko spotted it, he shifted uncomfortably and looked away.
Any emotions at all seemed to make him uneasy, especially coming from her. And especially when it was directed at him.
Katara inhaled a long breath. She was all over the place, still reeling from the past however many hours she was in isolation. Her body was forced to keep going by the tea Mokan provided, and her arm was still in excruciating pain. If she kept yelling at Zuko, she'd waste energy she could use to heal herself. She just hated that he was here for it all. She wanted to be alone, free of any firebenders or guards or people watching over her at every hour.
In a few quick steps, she stopped by his bed and sat down. Katara winced as her fingers trailed over the bandage. She'd need to remove it, but even touching it made her want to yell in pain. Plus, she could barely move it so she could get to the right angle to unwrap it completely.
Zuko seemed to be reaching the same conclusion as his eyebrows were drawn together in thought. Katara sighed in defeat and motioned for him to come over.
"I just need you to unwrap it. I can do the rest."
"Okay," Zuko said, unsure as he kneeled in front of her.
Katara held her breath. He was so close to her, just a mere inches away, as he delicately took her injured arm in a gentle grasp. She studied him as he kept his eyes on her arm. That angry, red scar, a reminder of the horrors he endured the night she healed him. Now, she'd have a scar too. Always haunted by her time in this prison.
His amber eyes were focused as he began unwrapping the bandage. Katara bit down on her lip, but she couldn't stop the whimper of pain from leaving her lips. He froze and his gaze shot up, "Sorry. Are you okay?"
She nodded, "I'm fine."
He held her gaze for several seconds, and her chest tightened, but then, he returned his attention to the bandage.
They were both horrified when the wound was revealed. It started to fester and bubble, and Katara's entire body was shaking in pain. On instinct, Zuko put his hands on her shoulders to steady her, but when she looked at him like he had added another burn, he jerked his hands back to his sides. She didn't want him touching her anymore than necessary.
Katara pushed through the pain as water surrounded her hand. She squeezed her eyes shut as she pressed the cool liquid onto her arm, and it felt awful and wonderful at the same time. A cruel kind of relief.
She could sense Zuko watching her. His gaze was sharp like a dagger, piercing her even as her eyes remain closed.
Slowly, her skin was healing, but it would require several sessions, and it would never look the same.
After a few minutes, she bended the water back into the bowl and met Zuko's eyes, "Are you ready to try for some more memories?"
"What? Now?" He backed away from her as if she'd slapped him. "No, not until you're better."
"Zuko, I don't really have a choice," she spat. Does he not understand that Azula would probably throw her back in that room if she didn't do this session? "I have to do this."
"Well, I don't care. You probably won't be much help anyway in this state," said the Prince. He crossed his arms over his chest.
Katara sighed in frustration. He just wasn't listening, "But, Azula—"
"I will speak to my sister personally about this," he answered, running a hand over his face. "You just...just go back to your room and don't come here until your arm is healed completely."
Katara remembered Mokan talking about how the Emperor wouldn't be pleased to hear about what Azula did and how it interfered with her sessions with Zuko. Perhaps the Princess was overestimating just how much she could torture Katara, at least while Zuko still needed her. If only she could get the bigger picture—explore the palace more and interact with other people—she'd find out better information about this whole mess.
But for now, she needed to heal.
"Alright," she finally said, "but you need to keep logging every memory you have, and we'll go over them next time. I wouldn't be surprised if most of them come in dreams, so write everything down the second you wake up, or you'll forget important details."
"Are you always like this?" he asked, and she furrowed her eyebrows. Zuko smirked. "Bossy, I mean?"
"I'm not bossy. I'm your Healer, and I'm doing my job."
"Whatever you say," he said through a long breath.
Katara rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. Again, she could feel his gaze drilling into her back.
When she looked over her shoulder, his eyes fell to her arm, and there was a flicker of something more than remorse or guilt. Maybe...anger?
Flames danced within his gaze, and Katara felt their heat.
"I won't let her hurt you again."
The words struck her, knocked the breath right out of her chest. She couldn't respond—she didn't know how to because his words didn't make sense. He shouldn't care at all what happened to her. It made the path forward even more blurry and gray and explosive. Was it possible that he still felt indebted to her because of the night she saved him all those years ago?
Katara just stared at him from the open doorway, trying to read any thoughts that could be going through his mind, but his eyes were guarded again. The flames replaced with something cold and detached.
"Thank you, Zuko," she said, "but I can take care of myself."
Chapter 6: Orders
Notes:
thanks for all the kudos so far! i hope you enjoy this chapter :)
Chapter Text
ORDERS
SONG: WE — BON IVER
"And you'd expect it when we photograph our scars
Some lonely fable that we took in then right from the start"
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Katara looked like shit.
The girl staring back at her in the full-length mirror wasn't someone she recognized. In fact, she wanted to smash the mirror to pieces, but she couldn't risk another outburst. She couldn't risk getting thrown back into that closet, so instead of giving into a total and utter mental breakdown, she braided her hair. Katara focused on her breath—in and out—counting to ten, the silky strands between her nimble fingers, and she ignored the way they shook slightly because it was hard to keep herself together when all she wanted was to sink to the floor and cry for hours. She had been away from home for seven years, and yet, she'd never felt homesickness like this. Maybe it was the fact that she had gotten so used to her situation, or her mind had checked out all those years to preserve her sanity, but now, all she felt was this gut-wrenching weight pressing down on her chest so tightly that she could barely breathe. At the beginning of this new nightmare, she had seen a light at the end of this very dark tunnel, but everything had gone wrong. Prince Zuko's memories were locked away, unable to be touched. Azula was furious at the lack of progress, and had demanded for Katara to steal his journal tonight while he went on an outing with Mai. She had exactly an hour, and she couldn't waste a second.
The Princess made sure the guard duty had a hole in it, a perfect window of opportunity for Katara to ease into his chambers and escape unseen. She lingered at her door, her hand hovering over the golden knob. She was still shaking.
"Keep your shit together, Katara," she muttered.
The waterbender pulled her door open and stepped into the breezy hall. The arching windows were open that night, cardinal curtains blowing in the distal moonlight. She instantly felt more alive with the pull of the lunar body, her blood was awake, veins spiking with power. Katara glanced around the corner, turning her head both ways and waiting for passing guards to move on before she made her way across the hall. The trip to Prince Zuko's chambers was familiar now. She had begun counting steps again.
Sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy.
She halted as another group of guards emerged, slinking into the twinkling shadows. A beat passed, and then silence. She resumed her journey, counting once more.
Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three.
The doors were empty. Not one guard in sight. Any that were assigned to this wing of the palace were now working under Azula's orders to steer clear of it for fifteen minutes. Enough of a lapse for stealing the journal, but not enough to raise suspicion. Katara steadied herself, and then she pushed herself off the wall and darted through the doors. What would be written in his journal? Would this all be over in an hour? The possibilities were haunting, causing her nerves to escalate as she approached his cluttered desk. There were so many papers and spilled ink, it was hard to make sense of any of it, but the journal wasn't there. His ramblings of his dreams didn't make sense. The sentences were unfinished, like chaotic thoughts scribbled down in a hurry. Earthbender, young girl, nicknamed Sparky? Want information, layout of palace. Uncle, no where.
Katara threw down the paper. That wouldn't get her anywhere. She needed his journal.
Looking over her shoulder, she spotted a drawer slightly hanging open on his nightstand. Katara rushed over and yanked it open, and seconds later, she was holding a brown, tattered journal. She held her breath as she opened it to the first page, and it was dated to a few weeks ago, when he had first arrived back in the Fire Nation.
Blocking her out is harder than I thought it would be. She's powerful, and she suspects I know more than I say. Which isn't entirely a lie. There are fragments of memories, but none of them are pieced together. Write what you know to be true, write what you know to be true...
A year ago, I was captured by rebels while searching for the Avatar near Kyoshi Island. I was their prisoner, and they wanted to know the layout of the palace for some type of mission. My Uncle came looking for me...or was I looking for him? What happened next? I don't know, I don't know!
Katara flipped to the next entry.
She's working for Azula. I can't trust her, can't trust anyone here.
That was it for the next entry, so she flipped another page.
Need to contact Uncle somehow. He's the only one I've ever been able to rely on. He'll know what to do because I remember more every day, and it doesn't make sense. The person in my memories isn't me, or it's not who I am now. Not who I was? She's pushing harder, using a new method. Her freedom is locked in my memories, but I can't let her get it. Not when she's Azula's spy.
Katara's breath was heavier. So he was deceiving her all this time? He didn't want Azula knowing anything, he had secrets, a labyrinth of them.
She flipped to the most recent entry, and Katara stopped breathing entirely.
I don't trust my own mind. Some memories feel real, others feel tampered with. Like seeing through distorted glass. The man in my memories is so different from me, someone I never thought I could be. But I have to serve my country. I have to make it right. I have to put it behind me. I have to regain my honor. The man who helped them wasn't me. It can't be.
Because the Avatar is alive, and I'm going to get to him again.
Get to him again? Katara was still trying to make sense of it when she flipped the page.
The journal fell from her hands as she gasped in shock.
There, on the floor was a piece of old paper, and on the paper was a drawing of her etched with deep charcoal. Her own features stared back, her lips tugged upwards in a small smirk. Her hair was in two braids, and her mother's necklace was wrapped around her neck. Katara reached to her bare throat, tears welling in her eyes.
Underneath the drawing were three words.
Find her.
~Sokka
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"Let's see. Earthbender, young girl, nicknamed, Sparky. Want information, layout of palace. Uncle, nowhere." Azula threw down the paper and looked at Katara through her long lashes. "That's it?"
"He could be hiding other notes somewhere," Katara suggested. "If he has memories he doesn't want me to know about, then it's possible that he's doing everything he can think of to block me out, and he suspects that I'm working for you," the words tumbled out. She hoped she was a good liar. She was trying to fool the best liar.
Azula analyzed her with terrifying scrutiny, and suddenly, the entire mystery snapped into place. Because the Avatar is alive, and I'm going to get to him again.
Zuko was looking for the Avatar while he was away. The Avatar was the only threat to the Emperor's regime. That's it! Azula and the Emperor thought Zuko found the Avatar and knew where he was currently in hiding, but his memory block was in the way. If they forced Katara to report all his memories, they would be able to track down the Avatar and dispose of a traitor—Azula would suddenly be the only heir in line for the throne. Zuko wouldn't be able to find the Avatar and restore his honor. She could track him down, kill him, and save all the glory for herself, all while her brother was unsuspecting of her master plan, but she didn't factor in how hard getting the memories would be. She didn't factor in that her brother was smarter than she gave him credit for.
But, in his journal, it seemed Zuko wanted to forget about his year away and focus on reverting back to a loyal son of the Fire Nation. He still wanted his honor—still wanted to capture the Avatar because his memories were blurry and didn't make sense. He didn't have all the pieces...just fragments.
And, then there was the drawing. The two words from Sokka. Zuko had been around Sokka.
"Fine," Azula crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll get a few trusted guards to thoroughly search his chamber next week when he goes out with Mai again, but just know that if they do find you've been hiding something, then I'll make your little trip to the isolation closet look like a relaxing vacation."
Katara nodded, "I just want to keep my family safe. That's all I care about. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that."
"Excellent, then we're on the same page, peasant," said Azula. "My brother is currently our common enemy. Just make sure you stay on the right side, for the entire Water Tribe's sake." A cruel smile lined her glossed lips. "My father is focused more on the uprisings from earthbenders, but his attention could easily be swayed towards your people with the right incentives."
Katara was playing a dangerous game. Her actions could have catastrophic consequences.
But she had to follow her instincts. She had to rely on what she knew for sure—that the Avatar was alive, and that was their only hope for peace. She had to protect him. No matter what.
"Don't worry," Katara said, faking an innocent smile. "I've learned my lesson."
A triumphant grin spread throughout Azula's face, "About time."
Yes, Azula, she thought, About time indeed.
——————————————————————————————
Katara spent the rest of the day weighing her options about how to confront Zuko. There was a chance he didn't even remember Sokka, or that he would never tell her the truth. He trusted her about as much as he trusted Azula. Would it be better to return the journal and act like she had never seen anything? Katara bit her lip as she deliberated, kicking up a rusty floorboard and staring at the stolen journal. It was safer here than in Zuko's chambers, so he'd have to come clean because he'd notice the journal missing. Katara huffed as she put the floorboard back in place, and she ran her hands through her hair. She was going to have to take a chance. A really, really, horrible chance.
There was a knock at her door that startled her. Katara cleared her throat and smoothed down her frantic appearance.
"Come in."
It was Mokan. Great.
He was in his Fire Sage outfit, and his expression was vacant of anything telling.
"What do you want this time? More warnings from Azula? I'm really not in the mood."
Mokan stepped into her room, "If you do not show progress with the Prince soon, your usefulness will be brought into question." Katara turned away from him, sighing. "You may find out things that are hard to let go of, but one thing you should've learned by now is that here, in this place, you have to look out for yourself first."
"I am."
"No, you're not. I know you're holding back," What was she supposed to do then? Send Zuko to an execution and the Avatar and maybe her brother with him? "Selflessness is a virtue among those who play fair, but a death sentence when the game is full of deceivers."
Why did he always talk in riddles?
Katara looked over her shoulder, "If I can't get the memories, who can? I'm their only option. They can't prove Zuko did anything wrong, and the Emperor won't kill his son just because of rumors. If he wanted Zuko dead, he would never have set foot in this palace."
"Correct, but they can start targeting the Water Tribe because of your failures—"
"I'm doing my best!" Katara whirled around, her cheeks red with rage. "Zuko is the most difficult person I've ever met! He doesn't trust me! So take Azula's empty threats somewhere else, I'm sick and tired of hearing the same things over and over. I'm the only one who can get these people what they want. I said I would do it, and I will, but it will take time, and if they can't accept that, then they can go ahead and kill me now!"
Mokan took a step back towards the door, nodding, "I'm afraid time is not on your side, Katara. If no progress has been made in two weeks, the Emperor is ordering a raid on the Southern Water Tribe."
"GET OUT!" Katara screamed, and the small amount of water from a basin spiked towards him in sharp icicles, impaling on the wall, right by his head.
Mokan was gone in less than a second, and Katara sank to her knees. Would it be easier to just give up the journal? No, no, that wasn't right.
With her rage still seething, Katara found the drawing from her brother and shoved it into the pocket of her loose, black trousers. She wasn't waiting on Mai and Ty Lee tonight. She wasn't waiting for the Fire Sages to fucking bless the room. No, Katara wasn't waiting on anything. She was going to get answers so she could form a plan on how to move forward, and damn whatever happens to Prince Zuko. He probably deserved to die, probably had committed all kinds of atrocities in his seven years away. All that mattered to Katara was keeping her family safe and the Avatar's location secret.
Guards trailed her as she stormed through the palace, and once she had walked the seventy-three steps to Prince Zuko's room, she didn't even glance at the Fire Sages approaching from the other side of the hall. A few called out for her to stop. Guards reached for her as she opened the door, but she made it inside before anyone could grab her.
"Prince Zuko! She's not supposed to be in here yet—!"
Katara's eyes were instantly locked with Zuko's as he stared at her with his mouth slightly agape. Her anger wasn't something she tried to hide, and the Prince cleared his throat.
"It's fine. I have matters to attend to sooner than usual tonight. You can resume your posts and let the Sages know they are not needed."
"But..."
"Those are my orders," he said, in a darker and more commanding tone that had the guards bowing and closing the door with a heavy thud.
A thick silence enveloped the room, but Katara's ears were ringing. She had never felt so angry in her entire life. Not even when she had first been captured, and not even when Azula had her tortured. The tension was deafening, enough to make her burst, and she just had to release it. The moonbeams fanning in from the open balcony doors was only adding to her spiking heart rate.
And it all came crashing like a hurricane, right for the unfortunate Prince Zuko.
"What the fuck is this?" Katara pulled out the crumpled drawing. She shook it in front of his face, not even noticing that she was crowding his space. "Answer me!"
"I don't know!" he fired back.
"Oh, you don't, really?" she yelled, speaking through clenched teeth as she tried not to slap him across the face for his denial. "I read your journal. I know you've been lying to me this entire time. So try again, Prince Zuko. What. Is. This?"
Zuko ripped the drawing from her hand, his chest rising and falling faster, "It was all I had with me when I woke up. I don't know anything else."
"Liar!" Katara shook her head, shoving his chest forcefully, and he stumbled back a few paces. "Stop lying to me!"
"I don't trust you," he said marching back to up her. "I don't trust you with a damn word."
"Sokka is my brother!" Katara had to crane her neck to look at him. "And I trust him more than anyone in the world, and I think that at some point, even if you don't remember, you trusted him too."
"You're wrong," Zuko's hot breath was fanning her face, and she clenched her fists. "I would never trust a rebel."
"But you helped them, didn't you?" Her voice was softer, out of no where, and she didn't step back, even though she knew she should've. "I know, Zuko. I know. There's no point in hiding it from me."
"Oh, so you can go tell my sister, and then she can me killed so there's no one in her way to becoming Empress one day?"
"If I was going to tell her, don't you think I would've done that by now?" Katara asked, raising her eyebrows. "I think...I think you're the best way back to Sokka. I thought helping your sister was all I had, but now..." his intense ambers burned into her icy, blue gaze. "I'm not saying we have to trust each other, but maybe we can come to an understanding."
"An understanding?" Zuko scoffed. "Have you thought that maybe I don't want to help you? Maybe I want everything to go back to how it was before it all got messed up?"
Katara inhaled a sharp breath, she was leaning closer to him, "If that were true, then why did you give me water to heal my wounds last week?"
He opened his mouth, then closed it again into a hard frown. His eyes were pinched into glare, but it wasn't believable this time.
"All I want is to get back to Sokka," Katara said in a quiet tone. "And all you want is to get your honor back, to restore your place in the Fire Nation. I read it in your journal."
"You think you have me all figured out, waterbender?" he asked in a dangerous tone.
"I'm starting to."
Zuko looked taken aback, and he suddenly noticed how close they were standing. Their faces were a breath from each other, steps were taken out of rage, but now it was quiet. They were left in the fallout of their emotions, and Katara didn't know why—she could never explain it, but for a moment, she didn't want him to step away.
But Zuko shifted his weight and took several retreating steps.
"Do you even have a plan?"
"Not...not exactly. Not yet," she admitted. "But, if I don't give Azula some worthwhile information soon, your father is ordering a raid on my home."
"So, we feed her information that seems important, but really isn't," Zuko said. He crossed the room and found another journal, one that hadn't been written in yet. "Now, I haven't agreed to anything yet, but let's say, hypothetically, that I wrote a fake journal for you to show her."
Katara's face lit up, "She'd believe I was helping her, and—"
"And I'd act as oblivious as ever," Zuko finished with a small smirk. "We send Azula on a wild goose chase looking for the Avatar."
"That—that might actually work, but we'd have to be convincing. She'd have to believe we're getting along, and that you trust me enough to have successful sessions. And not to mention, the entries would have to actually lead her to something, or she'd catch on."
Zuko nodded, "Right, so this the part where we make a deal. This has to be a...mutually beneficial relationship," Katara scowled at him at the way he said those words, which caused him to smirk again. "We continue on with our sessions to sort through my memories, and I'll write real entries in your journal and fake ones in the journal for my sister. In public, we'll act like we can actually stand one another, and we will come up with a plan to get you out of here and back to your brother."
"And what do you want in exchange?" She tilted her head.
"The Avatar," Zuko said, bluntly. "I go with you to the rebel hideout once I remember where it is, and I will come back with the Avatar. I won't hurt or endanger anyone else."
"That's a lot to ask for," Katara said. "He's the world's last hope for peace. He's the only one who can end the war."
"That's the only deal I'm making," Zuko sneered. "Without me, you'll never get out of here, and you'll never see your brother again."
Selflessness is a virtue among those who play fair, but a death sentence when the game is full of deceivers.
Zuko was a deceiver. Maybe not as bad as his sister, but still lethal.
Katara was done playing fair. Sure, she'd let him tag along to the rebel hideout. But, if he tried to lay a finger on the Avatar, she'd kill the Prince herself.
Katara held out her hand, "Fine, it's a deal."
This wasn't a game of trust, or honesty. This was a game of survival.
He shook her hand, a glint in his campfire eyes, "I still don't trust you, waterbender."
"Likewise," she released his hand, which was much warmer than she had anticipated. "I guess it's something I can sacrifice to get out of here."
Zuko opened the journal and sat on his bed.
"Well? Are you just going to stand there all night, or are we going to get started?"
Chapter Text
SHACKLED
SONG: ACE OF HEARTS—ZELLA DAY
"An ugly confession
I think that I'm broken
When I try to be open."
——————————————————————————
Things that Katara had found out after five days of working with Zuko:
1. He was the most insufferable, grumpy person on this earth.
2. His distrust and wariness of her was a real problem for accomplishing anything at all.
3. She hated him.
4. She hated him, oh she already said that one.
On the bright side, Azula was over the moon with excitement when Katara turned up with Zuko's fake journal.
The first entry was about Kyoshi Island and the rumors of a rebel stronghold near there, as well as sightings of the Avatar. He also wrote about getting separated from his Uncle and becoming a prisoner. Zuko was sure the rebels had moved on from the area since it had been raided before, and was now too dangerous of a place for a permanent residence, but it was enough to distract his sister.
In the real journal, Katara was able to read while the Prince wrote. It was another part of their deal she added—that she had the right to find out everything with him since it was connected to her brother...
ZUKO
memory two
Zuko lost count of the number of days he spent in the dark.
He only knew he was somewhere deep within a mountain. This cell had been constructed just for him, he could spot the clean cuts from an earthbender's power, and the only lights were natural emerald crystals speckled around the ceiling. He imagined they were stars, constellations weaving together. The same ones he would gaze at aboard his ship on windy nights and ache for home. The sky was more beautiful in the Fire Nation, something made everything burn brighter there, or maybe it was because he was looking through childlike lenses. After all, he hadn't seen home since he was fourteen years old. He felt that familiar pang deep in his chest as he leaned his head against the cool stones and lost his thoughts within the reflecting green lights.
His captors had made their presence sparce. The only signs of other life within this mountain was when a small hole opened up in the wall across from him and someone shoved a tray of food into his cell. He always expected it to be stale bread and horrible porridge. They served prisoners scraps in Fire Nation prisons. But, every day without fail, he had some assortment of steaming rice and vegetables, or sometimes it was noodles or a hearty soup accompanied by water or a cup of jasmine tea.
It made him draw a few conclusions: First, that the people who captured him were not savages. Second, they wanted something from him.
And third, he shouldn't trust any of them. They were rebels. Fighting against his father and everything his nation stood for. Zuko wouldn't let nice meals and freshly brewed tea cloud his judgement.
He often wondered about his Uncle. The rebels had raided his ship, he awoke as they were riffling through some of his belongings before the rude earthbender girl hit him with a rock again. Did they capture him too? Was he somewhere in this mountain alongside him as a prisoner? He had to find out and soon. If they hurt Uncle...well Zuko would unleash every ounce of fire he could muster to burn this place to the ground.
Zuko wished he knew how much time had passed, but he was in this alone. His father wouldn't send anyone searching. No, Prince Zuko was as good as dead until he returned with the Avatar.
Little to his knowledge, it was during his third week of captivity when he heard the usual footsteps approaching his cell. It must be morning, time for breakfast.
Instead of a small hole, a thin slab of the rock wall creaked open, just enough for one person to fit through. This was different.
A figure stepped through the door. It was a man around Zuko's age with his dark hair pulled into a wolf tail. He wore a deep blue Water Tribe tunic and a sheathed sword was slung across his back. His blue eyes looked oddly familiar, like he had stared into them before, and Zuko's face scrunched in confusion. He had no idea who this man was, and yet, he felt as if they had already met.
"Feel like talking yet, angry jerk?" Zuko watched him with narrowed eyes as the man put the food on the floor several feet away. "Well, I guess you prefer this cell. Maybe another few weeks of isolation will change your mind."
He turned to leave, and Zuko found himself leaping to his feet.
"Wait," Zuko spoke for the first time in over a month, and his voice was cracked, barely audible. The man paused, raising his eyebrows expectantly. "Where's my Uncle?"
"You're not the one who gets to ask the questions," said the man. "How about...an answer for an answer. That sound fair to you?" Zuko nodded, awaiting the man's question. He could answer just one, anything to know his Uncle was safe. "Are there any waterbender prisoners still alive in the Fire Nation?"
Zuko wished the man had asked anything else. How could he admit that he hadn't been home in seven whole years?
He remembered the girl who healed him. Was she still alive, or had his father executed her?
"I only know of one, but I'm not sure she's still alive. I haven't been home in a while."
"Do you remember her name?"
"That's two questions. Now I need my answer."
The man huffed, "Your Uncle is fine. He's here, in this mountain."
"I want to see him."
"No can do, ponytail. Not until you cooperate."
"You're a fucking fool if you think I'll help you."
"You will, eventually," the man grinned. "You don't have a choice."
"We'll see about that."
The man was gone then, even as Zuko tried to rush forward. The stone door slammed in his face.
He ran his hands over his head in frustration, and he kicked the wall.
His time was running out. Sooner or later, he'd have to make a deal with the enemy, but he wasn't sure how much he was willing to sacrifice. He'd do whatever it took to get out of here, to find his Uncle to and find the Avatar, even if it meant breaking a few rules. His father would understand. After all, in the grand scheme of things, his loyalty was to the Fire Nation and the Emperor. This was all for his nation, all for his honor.
And that was what really mattered.
——————————————————————————
Katara read the journal entry over and over, as if she could hear Sokka's words leaping off the page. It felt like she could breathe again. Like a piece of home had found her in this place, but eventually, she had to put it away underneath her floorboards, along with the drawing of her younger self.
There were pressing matters to attend to. Like the annual Military Gala, which was happening tonight in the palace. Honored guests had already arrived, and the palace was bursting with life. Katara was locked in her room though, unable to exit until Ty Lee and Mai came to get her ready. She was to remain unseen until after the dinner and could only attend the party while the Emperor and his generals met in the Throne Room for a top-secret debriefing. The dress she was to wear hung on the divider that separated her tub from the rest of the room. Katara ran her fingers across the delicate silk and through the openings in the lower back. A high-society Fire Nation gala and she was to attend it.
It seemed so wrong to play dress up and act nice while her people were at war, fighting against those scheming for their downfall, but this was her chance to find out some real information about the war efforts. She would have her eyes peeled, and she would keep a friendly smile on her face. She'd follow their rules and stand still and not draw attention to herself like Azula had instructed, but she knew, she just knew there would be an opening for her to slip away and find a way to listen in on the war meeting.
So, she laughed when she was supposed to laugh, and she smiled when she was supposed to smile while Ty Lee rubbed some kind of lavender scented soap into her skin with strong hints of the sea. Katara would pick up that smell anywhere.
"It's an imported soap. I bought it just for you," Ty Lee said. "I thought you might like a piece of home tonight, even if it's just sea-scented soap."
Katara covered Ty Lee's hand with her own. It was hard to trust anyone's motives here, even someone as nice as Ty Lee, but Katara appreciated the gesture, "Thank you."
"We're running out of time," Mai held up the midnight-colored dress with accents of red across the front and back.
"Yes, I know, you're anxious to hang out with Zuko again." Katara suddenly felt more interested in the conversation. She looked between them, confusion on her face. "She had a crush on him when we were kids—"
"Ty Lee—!"
"—And now they're becoming one of the strongest couples in the Fire Nation. It's really, kind of...adorable." Mai stepped around the tub to shove Ty Lee, "What? Aren't you guys officially together now?"
"Not that it's any of your business, especially yours," Mai pointed to Katara as she stayed in the tub, "but we are together, officially."
"That's amazing!" Ty Lee threw her hands around Mai's shoulders.
They were together? Katara had never seen them hanging out much, other than the few nights over the past few weeks he went on outings with her, and he definitely didn't act like a man in love. He acted miserable, every second of every day.
Mai pushed Ty Lee off her, "Yeah, yeah, let's just hurry up. The vultures are waiting."
Then again, Mai always acted miserable too. They were quite a pair.
Katara was still thinking about it while Mai and Ty Lee tied the intricate strings of her dress. Her eyes scrutinized herself in the mirror. She definitely had lost a few pounds and didn't look as healthy as she did several weeks ago. It was the stress and the remnants of Azula's torture getting to her.
The waterbender's hair looked glossy as it fell in chocolate waves around her shoulders and her back. Her eyes were lined in black with a shimmer on her lids. Her cheeks were brushed with pink, her lips outlined in red. She was a girl playing a part—a broken doll in a pretty dress. The silky, midnight material was soft against her skin. The openings in the back allowed her to breathe and not feel too stuffy in this hot palace, but she still felt caged, and that was so much worse.
Katara stepped into some black flats, and her look was finished.
"One last thing."
Ty Lee held up a necklace with a ruby red jewel, and Katara backed away, "Um, no, I don't need jewelry."
"But, it's so pretty and it matches the look so well—"
"I said no," Katara snapped, her hand shielding her neck.
"Geez, it's a necklace, not a weapon," Mai said through a sigh. "But, whatever."
"Sorry," she breathed, shaking her head. "I just haven't worn a necklace since, well, the last necklace I wore was my mother's..."
Understanding bloomed on Ty Lee's face, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Katara. I had no idea—"
"It's fine," Katara forced another smile. "You did a great job, Ty Lee."
"Can we go now?" Mai stifled a yawn. "I'm getting bored."
Lacing her arm through Katara's, Ty Lee's face beamed with excitement. The three girls exited Katara's small room, and as they walked to the other side of the palace, Katara could hear the sound of music growing louder and louder. Drums and flutes and tsungi horns mixed together to form a sharp and elegant melody that floated through the corridors. The actual party was being hosted in the grand, royal gardens which had been completely transformed. The fountain was covered in tiny, beautiful flames from candles floating around on disks in the clear water. It reflected out and cast intricate shadows on the cobblestone path. Above, strings of lanterns were reaching from one vine-covered overhang to another. Tents were put up all around the gardens. Some were there for guests to browse over the food options and others were for dancing and socializing. Servants milled through the high society crowd of fine silks and expensive, golden robes. They carried trays of crystal glasses with a bubbly liquid inside.
Katara hated to admit it, but everything around her was reluctantly beautiful. Well, everything except the people. Not that they were ugly, but everyone here supported the Emperor, and in Katara's eyes, they were guilty. Blood was on their hands. Bloods of their own soldiers, the ones who had died in her infirmary, and the blood of her people too.
She scanned the crowd, and Azula was nowhere to be found. This party was a distraction so that the Emperor could hold a top-secret meeting, and that meant the Princess wasn't around to watch Katara's every move. She'd just have to shake Mai and Ty Lee, and then, she'd get her chance.
"Would you like a drink, Katara?"
Ty Lee was holding one of the crystal glasses out to her.
Drink. Water. This entire place was full of it. Every glass had her element within it, and the thought had her scratching her arm, aching to bend. Her fingers tapped against her thigh anxiously, her hands barely shaking. She was hardly ever outside at night, right underneath the holy moon's glow.
Katara grabbed the glass and downed the liquid. It burned her throat, but in a way that made her crave more. It tasted of spring and lilacs, but with that hint of bitterness that made her blink several times and cough. Ty Lee and even Mai laughed at her reaction.
"Careful. Last time I only had five of those, and I ended up passing out on the beach with no memory of how I got there. They're the strongest drinks served here."
The warmness that began to spread through her chest was a relief. She no longer felt that itching sensation in her body, and she was more relaxed. Yes, one of those drinks did the trick. As long as she kept one small buzz, everything would be fine.
As she walked closer to the tents, the music grew louder. Conversations spiraled in the air around her, and servants were constantly offering her more drinks, which she refused. Katara was on a mission, and she didn't need her mind to be clouded or unreliable. Ty Lee went out of her way to introduce Katara to every person she recognized, and Katara smiled politely. She nodded and acted like she enjoyed their company while on the inside, she was aching to get away. This was all too much, being paraded around like a prized possession the royal family had acquired. Her skin and eye color kept her from fully blending in, and the sideways glances and whispers drifted to her. Katara's stomach was in knots, everyone here knew she was part of the royal household, and it made her sick. Just breathe. Just get through it.
But she couldn't. Katara could barely breathe, not in this heat, and not around these people, and she felt like reaching out for every droplet of water and creating a rainstorm on every person attending this party. Before she knew it, she had grabbed three more glasses and downed the contents to quiet her raging thoughts, but it wasn't working.
"I've never seen someone like her before," a woman stated, her eyes scanning over Katara's body, "she's so...so exotic."
The woman's husband ran his tongue over his lips, "It's a shame the Emperor keeps such a beauty hidden away from the rest of us."
"A waterbender," the woman shook her head, "probably the only one we'll ever get to see." She reached forward to touch Katara, like she was an exhibit on display, but Katara jerked away, narrowing her eyes. "I guess these foreigners really are as feral as they say."
Katara imagined sending sharp, deadly icicles right through this woman's skull.
Her fists were balled, and her chest began heaving. The glasses on a passing tray were rattling.
"I need a moment," Katara muttered, pushing through Ty Lee.
"Katara—"
Ty Lee's voice faded with the mixing instruments.
She couldn't be around this any longer, not with all those eyes glued to her. If she stayed around those people for another minute, she'd have everyone impaled with ice. Katara breathed heavily, her mind distorted in a fog that dulled her rage just enough for her not to break.
Katara walked through the gardens until the party was a distant melody. She was wrapped within shadows and trickling moonlight just by the back gate where guards eyed her and gripped their spears, but she had no intention of trying to escape. That would be useless. She hugged herself with her arms and leaned against the towering wall, tears prickling her vision. It was harder to keep them at bay with the alcohol in her system. In this state, it'd be so easy to fall apart, to crumple into the summer grass and sob for hours. If she gave into her weakness, she wasn't sure that she'd ever be able to put herself back together again. Emotions were dangerous here if you let them in too deeply. Thinking of home too much, or leaning into her sadness, it could destroy everything.
The waterbender wiped her eyes, and she tilted her head to look at the waning moon. It wasn't full, but she still felt its power.
I'm getting out of here, she silently told the moon. I'd destroy them all if it meant getting back home. Every single one of them. Every ounce of Fire Nation red, she'd rip it to pieces if it meant she got to see Sokka and her father again.
"Not enjoying the party?"
Katara looked over her shoulder, peering through the darkness. The figure was an older woman in fine, crimson robes, maybe in her seventies or eighties. There was a kind smile on her aged face as she laced her hands together underneath her sleeves. Katara shrugged, not in the mood for conversation.
"It's quite dull, actually."
"I couldn't agree more." As Katara moved her eyes to the sky, the woman crossed the grassy path to stand right beside her, "The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" Katara didn't respond. She wished this woman would leave her alone. She was trying to have a mental breakdown in peace. "You know, people talk about your work in that infirmary, how many soldiers you've saved."
"About as many as I've lost."
"There are those who disagree with the Emperor shutting it down."
"Well, those people must have a death wish," Katara said, "because disagreeing with the Emperor is a great way to lose your head around here, or worse."
The woman was silent for a moment. It was a long pause, and Katara finally shifted her eyes through the moonlight to look at her.
Without even turning to face her, the woman reached into her pocket and then a small piece of crumpled parchment was placed in Katara's right palm.
"Have a nice night, Katara."
As the old woman walked away, Katara frantically glanced around to make sure no one had seen this exchange, but the guards were busy standing their posts and everyone else was distracted by the party.
Carefully, Katara unfolded the paper, and she read the note.
Come find me if you wish to learn how to fight back.
Underneath the words were coordinates.
Katara's gaze shot up, but the woman was gone. There was no trace of her by the back wall and no sign of her within the crowds at the gardens.
——————————————————————————
Unfortunately, finding her way to the secret war meeting proved to be much more difficult than Katara anticipated. After the mysterious woman had left her, Katara spotted Mai and Ty Lee deep in conversation with some other young girls in the dancing tent, and she slipped away unnoticed. Everyone around her except the guards was drunk or getting close to it, and it was easy to blend in with the darkness as she waited for each group to march past her, but she quickly found that she was lost. Katara knew the way to Zuko's room, to the West Wing where the turtle duck pond was, and how to get to the sun room where she always met with Azula, but the other side of the palace was a maze.
Okay, and fine, she was also a little intoxicated.
It was stupid—completely careless and something so out of character for her, but three of those drinks was too much, and she knew she should've stopped at one. Without them though, she might've had an outburst in front of the entire high society crowd. What a spectacle that would've been. Katara shook the blurriness out of her vision, but she stumbled a little as she pushed herself out of the shadows when the coast was clear.
Where was she again? How many steps...ninety-three?
No, that wasn't right. It was more than that, and which way did she turn last time?
Katara gripped the nearest wall, and a vase fell and shattered from the table underneath it.
"Shit," the sound echoed down the halls. Katara whipped her head around in every direction, but her surroundings were spinning. Ninety-seven, was that right?
How do I get back?
There were footsteps behind her. Katara gasped as she turned around and her face smacked right into someone's chest.
"What are you doing here?"
"I...I..." Katara tried to speak, but all her words were jumbled. She inhaled a long breath, closing her eyes so that everything wouldn't spin. "I had to get away from the party."
Prince Zuko looked down at her through the moonlight casting in through the open windows. His scar was illuminated by the pale beams, and his gaze was dark.
When her eyes opened, she noticed that he wasn't even dressed for the party or a war meeting. He was in his casual tunic and pants, his hair free of a top knot.
"Do you even know how much trouble you could get in for being in this wing of the palace?" he said through clenched teeth.
"I was just..." she almost told him the truth. No, Katara. She clamped her mouth shut, hoping her drunkenness wouldn't best her.
Zuko's eyebrow raised, understanding blooming in his amber eyes, "Are you fucking serious?" he threw out his arms in disbelief. "You thought you could listen in on my father's meeting? Are you really that stupid, or do you just have a death wish?"
"Are you going to turn me in?" she had no clue where her sudden boldness came from, or that she took a step closer to him. "Go ahead. I know how much you'd love to run to daddy and prove your loyalty."
She was treading in dangerous water. Her words elicited an angry scowl as he invaded her space, "Maybe I should."
"Well," Katara held out her wrists, locking eyes with him as venom laced her tone. "It might get you a few points, but it won't get your honor. I'm not the Avatar."
That was the wrong thing to say. Oh, it was a terrible thing to say.
Prince Zuko sneered. Steam was radiating from his gaze as he grabbed her wrists and shoved her until her back collided with the opposite wall. Her hands were pinned above her head, and his face was inches from her own. Katara's breath caught in her throat, her heart thudded against her chest so loudly that she wondered if he could hear it.
But she wasn't afraid, even as she felt heat against her skin. Was that tendrils of his fire, or just his natural touch?
The sensation of his body so close to hers had her adrenaline spiking.
"You're right," his words were spoken so close to her lips. She was entranced by his eyes burning into hers, the anger and flicker of something she couldn't quite place—the danger and darkened thoughts lurking within. "But you might be the next best thing."
Trying to make sense of his words, her eyebrows drew together. His grip was unrelenting as he caged her body in with his, but she couldn't find the words to tell him to let go of her. She wasn't sure she wanted to.
But that was the alcohol. It had to be.
Katara found her gaze lowering to his lips, found herself leaning up until their breaths were mingling.
"Zuko! Have you seen..."
It was like Katara had turned to ice because Zuko was leaping away from her, clearing his throat.
On the other side of the hall, Mai and Ty Lee were staring, their eyes flickering between the two of them, especially Mai. Her lips turned into a dissatisfied frown.
"Found her," she said, sharply.
"What are you doing on this side of the palace?" Ty Lee rushed forward, standing between the waterbender and Zuko, her voice frantic. Katara looked over the girl's shoulder at Zuko.
"I was..." Damn it, her drunk brain was so slow. Why couldn't she think of an excuse?
"Drunk and lost," Zuko finished. "Great job escorting her, by the way."
Ty lee sent him a look of daggers, "Shut up, Zuko. The people at the party were jerks to her, and I thought she just needed a moment—and then she was gone!"
"Whatever," Zuko sighed. "Just don't lose her this time."
"Maybe you should be her new escort," Mai suggested flatly, "it seems like you'd really enjoy the job."
"Mai, it wasn't like that," Katara stepped forward, her words falling out. "I made him angry and he—"
"Typical!" Ty Lee whirled around and slapped Zuko's shoulder. "Keep your anger management issues away from Katara! In fact, keep them away from all of us. Your aura is so awful right now." Zuko rolled his eyes as Ty Lee's arm laced through Katara's. "Come on, Katara."
She was whisked away between the two girls, and even though she fought with every muscle in her body not to glance over her shoulder at the Prince, she failed.
When she got one last look at him, he was leaning against the wall, watching her. His lips were drawn into a frown, but his gaze was alive with curiosity.
Their eyes locked, and she didn't stop looking at him until Ty Lee pulled her down another hall.
Once she was away from him, reality settled in.
What the fuck just happened?
Notes:
thanks so much for all the feedback so far! i can't wait to share more chapters with you all :)
Chapter 8: Blue
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING: discussions of gore, violence, sexual assault and forced birth.
Chapter Text
BLUE
SONG: HOWL — FLORENCE + THE MACHINE
"Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
A man who is pure at heart and says his prayers by night
May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright"
—————————————————
When Katara woke, her head felt as if it was full of lead.
She rolled over on the mattress, clinging the crimson sheets until they covered her face, and she groaned. The events of last night were regrettably hitting her, and she felt lingering embarrassment for how foolish she acted. Thinking she would be able to locate the secret meeting might've been stupid, but was desperate. With the Emperor's recent threat on her home, she was itching to know more about the current war efforts. She no longer had any clues from soldiers coming to the infirmary. She was blinded again to the outside world, and it made her worry at every hour for her loved ones. She needed to get Zuko to actually trust her, and maybe he would reveal more information—
Katara shot up in bed. Zuko. Oh La, she was so focused on her failure that she almost forgot about their...what would she call it? Heated encounter? She placed her fingers on the bridge of her nose, sighing. Weren't they supposed to be getting along now, wasn't that part of their deal? Then again, he hadn't revealed to Ty Lee and Mai why she was really on the wrong side of the palace when he easily could've gotten her into major trouble. His actions were always confusing, laced with a hidden meaning, and it was too much to decipher when her head was already hurting.
Her stomach was queasy as she made her way to the loose floorboard. At least she had enough sense to hide the note from the mysterious woman before passing out. She scanned the words and coordinates again, but there was no way she'd ever be able to sneak out of the palace, not with guards at her door during every hour of the day. She wasn't allowed to go anywhere without an escort, and not to mention, Katara did not know her way around the city. The coordinates might as well have been a foreign language. She crossed her legs as she leaned against her dresser, chewing on her bottom lip. Was this a trap? A test of her allegiance from Azula?
Katara crumpled the paper and threw it into the small concealment. Whatever it was, it would have to wait until Katara had a way out of the palace without an escort. Maybe... was it so odd to think that perhaps she could find a way to get Zuko to help her? Katara nodded to herself. Yes, Katara, that's fucking stupid. Despite everything, the urge to trust him was there, and it was something that could get her killed if she gave in. Rationally, she knew it was because after seven years in this place, having someone to actually talk to and work with was a dangerous comfort. No matter what, she couldn't let her guard down and she couldn't let him in. His moments of kindness were no doubt to get her to trust him so he could find out what she had been telling Azula, and now he was trying to get leverage over her should she betray him.
It was all a game. And she wouldn't let heated encounters in dark hallways cloud her judgement.
Katara quickly replaced the floorboard and got herself dressed. The waterbender chose a loose top that tied right above her belly button and light trousers that synched at her ankles. She pulled half of her hair up and pinned it, letting stray waves frame her face.
Right on time, there was a knock at her door, and as she opened it to grab what she expected to be her usual breakfast tray, she instead found herself face-to-face with Princess Azula.
"I heard you had quite the night, peasant," Azula smirked.
Katara didn't answer. She pressed her lips into a thin line.
"Oh Agni, relax. Stumbling around drunk doesn't exactly give me a reason to punish you, but it definitely doesn't need to happen again."
"Why are you here then?" Katara's voice was weaker than she wanted, but she truly felt like she had been trampled by a pack of polar bear dogs.
"A general was badly injured last night."
"Last night?"
"Yes, that's what I just said," Azula quipped. "Come on, he's practically dead, and you're his last chance."
The waterbender was yanked into the hall without a chance to ask any further questions. How could a general have gotten injured last night? Weren't they all in the Emperor's high security meeting? Azula walked several paces ahead of Katara and the two guards escorting her, not giving any other clues as to what she'd be faced with.
The guests stayed in the wing of the palace that was forbidden to Katara, and she scanned every inch to try and familiarize herself better with her surroundings. At the next turn, she began counting steps. It was vital for her to familiarize herself with this wing every chance she got. There was more activity here, servants milling about—their heads downcast as they completed their duties—and councilmen breezing past with hushed voices. Each one sent her a suspicious look, but it quickly vanished once they noticed Azula's presence, bowing to her in solemn respect.
Katara could feel the fiery sun on her skin, even in these early morning hours as it basked through the sheer drapes and created a tired, orange hue on the polished floors. She was sweating, but not from the heat. She wiped her palms on her trousers as they stopped outside a door with a golden handle, the Fire Nation insignia branded on the metal. Her brain was still foggy from the events of last night, and she hoped it wouldn't affect her abilities. What would Azula do to her if she failed to save an important general?
She gulped as the door creaked open. Azula stepped inside, but the guards hung back. They held out their arms, gesturing for her to enter. Why did it feel like she was about to descend into hell?
Composing herself, she walked five steps forward, but immediately halted when the door clicked shut behind her, the sound echoing through her every bone.
Her heart dropped to her stomach. Katara's eyes were blown wide, and it was like her entire body had turned to heavy, unmovable stone as she stared into the harsh, amber gaze of the Emperor himself. Her blood turned to ice, her breath was stolen, and she was afraid she'd faint from the shock and the swell of unpleasant emotions blasting through her chest.
"Hello, waterbender. It's been a while."
His voice climbed through her with a deathly chill, one as bitter as the winds in the South Pole.
Katara was speechless. She was too stunned to notice the unconscious man on the ornate bed behind the Emperor. Her focus was trained on the tall, imposing man merely a few feet from her. He was dressed in full regalia and golden shoulder pieces that extended like skeletal claws from his body. He was adorned in wealth and power, lethal fire just beneath his fingertips, but all Katara felt was cold. Frozen.
She was glued to her spot across from him.
Then, her body was jolted forward by an outside force, "Bow, peasant. Have you forgotten your place?" Gritting her teeth, Katara's knees contacted the carpeted floor. Defiance was useless in this room. It'd only get her more scars. People who were smart knew how to use their defiance in the right places, and this wasn't one of them.
As her forehead barely kissed the floor, she awaited permission to stand.
"You may rise."
This is fine. This is fine. He was only there because it was an important general who had been hurt. Nothing more. He'd leave once Katara got to work and order a servant to keep him updated. Katara rose to her feet slowly, reminding herself to breathe—in and out—and to focus on her healing, finding that calm place that she always worked in while she was at the infirmary or keeping Zuko in his dream state, but this was much more difficult because looking at the Emperor made her feel twelve-years-old all over again, alone and awaiting death in that lonely cell.
"General Oro was attacked last night," the Emperor motioned to the man on the bed. "You're going to heal him, and you're not going to ask any questions. You will not reveal to anyone what you've seen here."
Katara nodded, "Yes, Emperor."
"And if you fail," he took a foreboding step, leaning down with a menacing glare that made Katara wonder if he'd strike her down simply for breathing wrong in his presence, "you will suffer the consequences from my hand, personally."
If it was such a dire situation, why wasn't she immediately brought to see General Oro? Why wait until morning, when his chances were slimmed—when time had already worked against him?
Katara was instructed not to ask any questions, so all she could do was nod in understanding. She held her breath until the Emperor left the room.
But every unsettling feeling he had awakened lingered with her.
"Get to work, peasant," Azula grinned as she stood by the door. "Though, it would be fun to discover what punishment my father has in store should you disappoint him."
The three servants in the room had their hands on Katara, urging her forward, but she didn't feel present in the moment. Her body felt hollow as she stared into the deep bowl of cold water on the bedside table. A chair skirted across the floor, and she sat down in it. Her hands were shaking, her muscles were rigid. Breathe, breathe, Katara squeezed her eyes shut. Images were flashing in her mind—the day she was taken unfolded all over again. Roaring fire melting ice. Charred skin. Ashen show falling on her face. Sokka fighting the soldiers, getting thrown to the ground and burned. His scream...
"Hey!" someone snapped their fingers in front of her face. "Pull it together." When her eyes opened, she was staring into the brown eyes of a servant. "The General doesn't have much time left."
Right, pull it together. Katara bended slinky water around her hands and assessed General Oro for the first time.
"He was stabbed on his way back to his room," her hands found the wound in his stomach. His face was sickly pale, he had lost too much blood. "The attacker escaped."
There was so much internal bleeding. Katara breathed in as she directed her energy through the water, "He'll need several sessions to fully recover," said the waterbender, finding her voice. As the water glowed a brilliant blue, she could sense the flow of blood slowing. His heart beat a tad stronger each second she spent moving her hands across his abdomen in precise motions. "The cut is too clean for it to be caused by a knife or dagger." The wound was large, spanning a few inches, more like a slice than a quick stab from an assassin desperate to get away. "It's from a sword. No vital organs were hit." The reason the General was almost dead was due to blood loss. And with such a precise cut..."I don't think his attacker intended to kill him."
The man was younger than most Generals, in his mid twenties at the most. Katara found it strange that the Emperor would show such concern for a general that couldn't have had this position very long.
Her body was buzzing with power as she channeled it all into General Oro's wound. The cut was mending, tendons weaving back together underneath her expert touch. Color returned to his cheeks, and she drifted her hand to his sweaty forehead.
"He's stabilizing."
Katara let out a relieved huff as she sank into the chair.
The General groaned, his eyes barely opening.
His lips were moving, but it was all nonsense.
"What was that?" Katara leaned in as servants told the guards stationed outside that the man would live.
General Oro's oaky eyes met hers, "Blue," For a moment, the waterbender thought he was talking about her irises. Until, he swallowed and spoke one last time before passing out again. "He wore a blue mask."
"Where is he?" A deep voice echoed from the doorway as Katara stared in confusion. Blue mask? Was he talking about the attacker? "Is my son going to make a full recovery?" No one wore blue in this place. It was void of the color, save for the ocean. Blue was something as good as forbidden. It signified an enemy. "Hey, hey, you waterbending peasant, answer me!"
There was a brutal hand on Katara's shoulder digging in to the point of pain, and she was yanked to her feet, staring into the eyes of an older man with specks of gray in his dark hair and sideburns.
Oh, he had been talking to her?
"Your—your son?" Katara stuttered.
"Do you not know who I am, girl?" he sneered, and a small flame appeared in the hand that wasn't pressing into her collarbone.
Actually, I have no idea, asshole, but if I tell you that you'll probably burn my face off.
"Admiral Zhao!" Katara had never been so relieved to hear Mokan's voice. "What are you doing?" The Fire Sage stopped a few feet away as the asshole, Admiral Zhao, released Katara. "This girl just saved young Oro's life," said Mokan, pausing as he laced his hands together, "despite your protests. You'd rather see him die than let a waterbender use her tricks on him, is that what you said?"
"The Emperor understood my reservation. Having someone like her attend to my son is the greatest insult."
"Yet without her, he'd be dead," Mokan extended a hand. "Come, Katara, you're no longer needed here."
"But, he'll need several more sessions to fully heal—"
Admiral Zhao pointed right in her face, "You will not lay another finger on my son with your filthy Water Tribe hands. The royal healers can take it from here."
Katara swallowed her protests, and settled on subtly narrowing her eyes and mentally freezing his head in a block of ice. I just saved your son, you ungrateful ass.
In the back of her mind, she wondered if she should tell Mokan about the man in the blue mask as they walked into the hallway. Honestly, if there really was some assassin running around taking out generals, she should give him a high five and offer her assistance. So, she chose not to say anything. Maybe he'd go for Zhao next.
"Admiral Zhao is one of the Emperor's most trusted advisors," Mokan explained as they headed for the back gardens. "Men like that don't have friends, but if they did, I suppose it would be a close word for their relationship." The Emperor with a friend? Yeah, that was as ridiculous as Katara firebending. Mokan chuckled, and she didn't even realize she had said that part out loud. "They're not friends, not really. Zhao has the most...extreme views of every ranking officer, and the Emperor loves extremities."
"And Oro?"
"One of the best firebenders of his age, right there with the Prince and Princess. He also has a brilliant mind and a knack for battle strategy. He is the one who helped quell the uprisings in Omashu a few months ago," Mokan sighed. "Of course, his father swooped in at the end. Oro had captured several important members of the rebellion that operated in the underground tunnels. Oro wanted them brought back here to Caldera for questioning and to be transferred to a high security prison afterwards, but, well, Zhao had other ideas."
"What happened to them?"
"He burned their eyes out and hung their corpses as a warning to the citizens of Omashu," Katara stopped walking and audibly gasped, covering her mouth. She knew the Fire Nation ranking officers delighted in cruelty, but that was on another level of terrible. "One of them was just a teenager, but to Zhao, every rebel deserves the same fate, and everyone who resists the Fire Nation should pay the ultimate price."
"Why are you telling me this?" Katara was thankful for the fresh air of the gardens. She breathed it in and tried not to imagine burned corpses swaying in the wind.
Mokan faced her, "Because you're on Zhao's radar now, and he's one of the most dangerous men in the world, especially for you," A prejudiced firebender who wanted her dead? Yeah because there was such a shortage of those around here. "This isn't common knowledge, but I feel I must tell you so you understand what I mean," Mokan inhaled a long breath as Katara turned her eyes to the silver wisteria. "Oro was conceived while Zhao was stationed in the Earth Kingdom. The girl wasn't willing, and when Zhao realized his favorite prisoner was pregnant, he brought her back here and forced her to birth his son so he could carry on his legacy. She died in childbirth."
"Does Oro know the truth?"
"Yes," Mokan said, "which is why he's a General, so his loyalties can be constantly monitored by ranking officers."
"That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard."
"Exactly, so now maybe you'll listen when I say that you do not need to return to Oro, even if your Healer instincts tell you to."
But, if Oro was harboring hidden resentments against the Fire Nation and his father, that could help Katara. She could make an ally directly involved with the current war efforts, maybe even have a better shot at getting out of here. She could forget about Prince Zuko and make a better plan with someone easier to trust, someone who hated the Fire Nation just as much as her.
Katara couldn't afford to play it safe when she was getting closer than ever to freedom.
She turned to Mokan and nodded, "I understand. I'll steer clear of him."
Lying was getting easier. She wasn't sure how to feel about it, just that it made her blend in more and more amongst these cunning dragons.
—————————————————
Zuko spent another two weeks in captivity without talking to Sokka or anyone else. His recent journal entry was bland, and Katara closed it in frustration. Maybe he was just a useless prisoner for a whole year, and this was a giant waste of her time, but her mind always returned to the drawing. It had to mean something. It had to lead to Zuko helping the rebels, helping her brother. She didn't care how many monotonous memories they had to dig through, she'd keep going until they found answers. If it wouldn't damage his brain, she'd keep him in his dream state for days so they could get to the end faster, but even thirty minutes was a stretch. Longer than that, and the Prince might never wake up, forever lost in a loop of past moments. Doing this every day was also dangerous, so they settled on every other day because in their past few sessions, it was harder to rouse him. That meant they were doing this too much and his mind was on the verge of a comatose state.
The Prince was studying her as she tucked the small journal into her shirt. Their interactions had been strictly professional and short since the hallway incident. They talked about his memories and that was it. She avoided looking in his eyes for too long and always made sure she was several steps away from him.
But, she needed to ask him about Oro and Zhao. Maybe he knew them well and could tell her something she could use.
"Do you know General Oro?"
"Zhao's son?" Katara nodded. "We grew up together, but he was a few years older than me. He was always closer to my cousin Lu Ten." He tilted his head. "Why do you ask?"
"I healed him last week. He nearly died."
"I wasn't aware you were the one who saved him."
"Well, now you are," Katara replied, flatly. "I don't think your father wants the whole palace to know a waterbender healed a General."
"I bet Zhao wasn't happy."
Was that a sneer in his voice? The way he said Zhao's name made Katara perk up, like she was on the verge of a new discovery.
"Not fond of the Admiral?"
Zuko scoffed, running a hand through his midnight locks, "You could say that." Come on, he had to give her more than that short reply. "He's always been determined to claim the accomplishment of killing an Avatar, so Zhao has a personal vendetta against me since I was hunting him." Katara was tempted to ask Zuko more about Oro. Would you happen to know if he'd be willing to betray his father and entire country to help me, Prince Zuko, or would he torch my eyes out? "You should stay away from him."
"Oh, are you suddenly concerned for me, Prince Zuko?"
"If you die, so do my chances of finding the Avatar," Zuko answered with a guarded expression, "and Zhao probably wants to kill you."
"Well, he needs to get in line," said the waterbender as she wrapped her arms around herself.
He stepped closer, and his gaze was analytical, observing her wariness like she was an skittish owl cat, "Look, now that we're working together, I won't let anything happen to you. Like it or not, we need each other," he was trying to convince her to trust him, and she wanted to laugh in his face. However, when her eyes flickered from the floor, all she could see was the hallway again. His body pressing against hers, his face hovering inches from her own...Just don't look into his eyes. Pretend he's ugly or something. It was hard to imagine him being anything other than attractive as he stood across from her in a robe that hung open and revealed his chest, and that was extremely confusing. How could she distrust him, even hate him at times, and still think such thoughts?
Zuko was right though. He might've not had his honor here, but he had a reputation. In the whispers from servants and guards, she picked up on conversations about how he was one of the best firebenders in the Nation, rivaling even his esteemed sister. People were afraid of him, and she couldn't know for certain what he did in his years away, but it was enough for a message to be set. Don't get in his way. Katara didn't want to know. It'd probably just make working with him even harder.
Although, no one, even Zuko could shield her from Azula and the Emperor.
"That's so sweet of you, but I don't want or need you to protect me."
Zuko rolled his eyes at her sarcasm, "You don't even know how to properly defend yourself. I'm sorry but drenching someone in pond water is not going to cut it."
"Then teach me," the words fell out before she caught them. Her eyes widened and so did his. It was a ridiculous suggestion...wasn't it? "I mean, well, I didn't—that's crazy."
He shrugged, "Maybe not."
"Right, have you forgotten about the two guards that tail me everywhere I go?"
"If we're going to eventually escape together and travel together, then it'd certainly be helpful if you could hold your own in a fight." That was true, but again, it was a crazy suggestion. "I can't train you in waterbending, but I can teach you hand-to-hand combat."
"That's great and all, Zuko, but where the hell are we going to train? The guards are literally at the door, and I'm watched every hour of every day."
A smirk lifted his lips, "Not in here. Not when you're with me."
"They'd hear us!"
The Prince of the Fire Nation motioned to his open balcony, and he grinned. It startled Katara because she hardly ever saw something other than a heavy frown or taunting smirk on his lips. Now he was...smiling at her? The new development made her even more suspicious of him. She preferred brooding Zuko. At least he was more predictable.
"Have you ever been down to the beach, Katara?"
Chapter Text
FLAME
SONG: FRANCESCA — HOZIER
"Now that it's done
There's not one thing that I would change
My life was a storm, since I was born
How could I fear any hurricane?"
—————————————
The black cloak was too big for Katara, but it would have to do. Her chocolate hair was hidden by the hood as it draped over her forehead. Was this plan absurd? Completely. Venturing outside the palace at night without permission would surely lead to trouble, but the thought that she could learn some useful defensive moves had Katara damning the consequences. Maybe she couldn't use her waterbending effectively in a fight, but there were other ways to protect herself.
She would have to put some faith in Prince Zuko not to get them caught, but he seemed to know what he was doing all to well, as if he snuck away every night.
On the balcony, the wind danced around them in a melodic whisper. Their onyx-colored cloaks made them blend in easily with the darkness as Katara watched Zuko place his hands on the stone railing. She peered below at the deathly drop, which Zuko didn't seem affected by as he climbed over the railing and braced both feet between the small, stone pillars.
He quirked an eyebrow, "You coming?"
"That's an awfully far drop."
"Don't tell me you're afraid of heights or something, waterbender," he said, eyebrows quirking.
Katara crossed her arms over her chest, "No, I've just never done something like this before, firebender."
"It's easy, come on," Scaling down the side of the palace did not sound easy, and neither did leaning back over the lethal drop. Katara bit her lip before taking a cautious step, and Zuko held out a hand. She eyed it, contemplating, and then she placed her small palm into his. "Just put your feet between these brackets," Listening to him and concentrating were hard tasks because the feeling of her hand in his did something to her chest, like little flames kindling in a gentle fire. No, that was wrong. Katara ignored it all and cleared her throat.
Her grip was death-like on the railing as she swung one leg and then the other to stand beside Zuko with her back to the long expanse below, "Now what?"
The edges of his lips turned up. In one quick motion, Zuko crouched down until his hands were gripping the floor of the balcony beneath the railing. He let his body dangle, and then after a few swings, he let go. Katara gasped, searching below her for any sign of him.
"Zuko?" she called out in a whispered tone, careful not to alert any nearby guards to their presence.
"You'll have to hang off the balcony and swing forward so you can land down here."
"I'll have to what?"
"Just trust me, Katara." Her scoff at his choice of words made him rephrase. "You can either hang off the railing all night or jump. Your choice."
Don't look down, she told herself. Katara exhaled a shaky breath and squeezed her eyes shut. This was insane, could she even make the jump? Zuko's legs and arms were much longer than hers. What was she even doing with him anyway? What if he was taking her away from the palace so he could hurt her or worse? So he wouldn't have someone pushing for the memories he wanted to keep secret. Katara glanced to the open door that led back to the security of his room.
"You're thinking too much. Just do it. I don't have all night."
"Shut up!" she hissed as she lowered body so she could put her hands in the correct place to hang off the balcony. Screw it, she thought. If he wants to kill me he can give it his best shot, and I'll take him down with me.
His quiet mutters of annoyance drifted to her, and she blocked out the fear trying to take over her thoughts. She wasn't hanging over a drop that could break her back and kill her. She wasn't about to jump to some unknown point of safety or possibly fall. Katara was back in the South Pole with the icy wind kissing her cheeks, staring at the stars as they speckled the winter sky. Her father's arm was around her shoulders. Sokka was gripping her hand. Isn't it beautiful, Katara? Her father said. Even after all my travels, I've never found place where the sky looks as beautiful as it does here.
Katara mustered up all her courage, and she used what abdominal muscles she had to gain some momentum in her swings before letting her fingers slip. She held in a startled yell as she crashed into something. Not the ground or any kind of painful fall, but the steadying arms of Prince Zuko.
When her eyes opened, he was gripping her shoulders, and they were much too close. She took a few steps away from him, clearing her throat, and noticed they were on another smaller balcony that barely extended from the palace.
"See? Easy."
"Whatever," Katara secured her hood back in place so it covered her face.
"It's better to climb down from here," Zuko explained as he moved to the wall of the palace.
Right, now all they needed to do was get down the wall, where the junctures and spots to hold on to weren't conveniently close. Because no one designed a palace with climbing in mind. Hopefully, this would all be worth it. Zuko better give her a hell of a training session for all this.
Katara joined him at the wall.
"Let's go."
—————————————
The streets of the Fire Nation capitol were lonely this late at night. Zuko guided Katara through alleyways, knowing exactly when to move forward and exactly when to stop as a group of guards entered the shadowy moonlit path. They were heading to the south end of the volcanic island, far out of the sight of the royal palace. The closer they got to the shores of the ocean, the stronger Katara felt. The waves were calling to her, she could feel it through her blood as the whispers of power thrummed through her every vein.
When they arrived at the slate-gray sands of the beach, Katara almost cried tears of joy.
It wasn't a big beach by any means, and it was dark and rocky, but this was the closest she had been to a large body of water in seven long years. Inhaling a breath, Katara walked across the crunchy sand, and she stopped when the waves rose to her ankles. The water felt heavenly. There were no other words to describe it. Katara closed her eyes. She basked in the salty breeze and the sound of waves crashing onto the beach, and she smiled, throwing her arms out to her sides. This was exhilarating and perfect and everything she had needed for so long.
She almost forgot that this wasn't why they had come here.
Opening her eyes, she turned and locked her gaze onto Prince Zuko. He was watching her with a glint in his fiery eyes, something just shy of admiration. Katara held his gaze as she reached within herself for that trove of power and lifted a string of water into the air. It danced between them, whipping out to catch his arm.
Zuko jumped away, narrowing his eyes in annoyance, but that was the only trick she had up her sleeve. The water fell to the sand.
"Afraid I'll drown you in the ocean?"
"No, I'm just trying to avoid another drenching," he replied.
"You deserved it," she said, thinking of her argument with him at the turtleduck pond a few weeks ago. "So, what is it you want to teach me?"
Katara was aware of every step he took towards her. Zuko stopped a few feet away, "How about you try to hit me and we'll take it from there."
"Gladly," she threw a quick punch at his face, but he dodged her like she was an annoying fly buzzing around his face.
"Sloppy," he said. "Your stance is weak." Frustration grew in her gut as she widened her stance and took a shot at his stomach with her foot. He caught it in his hand, and she wobbled on her other leg. "That was pathetic. We have a lot of work to do."
Katara fell to the sand when he threw her foot back, and she sneered, "You're such an ass!"
"Do you want to learn or not, waterbender?"
"Yes, but—"
"Then keep trying. I need to assess your skills so I know how to teach you."
Prince Zuko leaned down to offer her a hand, and she saw this as an opportunity. With an innocent expression, she put her hand in his, but a second later, she was yanking him down with all her strength.
But the Prince acted fast. As he fell forward, he latched onto Katara and rolled her body underneath his, trapping her against sand.
"Nice effort, but you're a little too predictable, Katara."
His breath was hitting her face. His body was hot as he hovered over her like there were flames underneath his skin and they were burning right into hers. She glared up at him, trying to hide how his closeness affected her and how his hips trapping her lower body to the ground made her stomach feel all tingly.
And she hated herself for it. She hated how her body reacted to his. This was a complete and utter nightmare.
"Okay, point made. You can get off me now," she spat.
Zuko smirked. When they were both upright, she hoped the darkness hid her heated cheeks.
"So, your punches are weak, your kicks are uncoordinated, and you don't have very much muscle."
"Gee, thanks."
"There are some exercises I can teach you that you can do in your room every morning because we'll need to use this time at the beach for working on actual combat, so try to pay attention so we're not wasting our night out here."
Katara wanted to throttle him. Maybe I will drown him in the ocean.
But she did pay attention. She watched his every move as he shoved her various sit ups and jumping exercises, as well as push ups and squats meant to build her strength so she could actually become a decent fighter and hold her own.
Then he showed her a proper fighting stance, and they fell into a rhythmic of back-and-forth movements. As she punched, he dodged until they were circling each other as if they were in a coordinated dance. Somehow, he was always able to predict her next move—step out of the way before she even realized all her attacks could meet was air. It was infuriating, but she wouldn't get anywhere with anger or impatience. She hated that he was better than her—stronger than her. She hated how all of this showed Katara for the first time how untrained she truly was in comparison to those who were allowed years to master their elements and the basics of combat. Perhaps she could mend broken bones and close gashing wounds, but if Azula or the Emperor ever decided to kill her, she was basically helpless.
These realizations pushed her towards an even sharper edge in which she considered if Prince Zuko would end up killing her. He could do it right there on that beach if he wanted, and yet his brows were knit in concentration as he analyzed her every move and how to correct it. This went on and on, and before Katara knew it, her entire body was caked in sweat and she was gasping for breath.
She bent over, bracing her hands on her knees as Zuko crossed his arms over her chest.
"That was terrible."
"Thanks for the encouragement," Katara quipped, narrowing her eyes. When she straightened her back, his eyes were still searching her face, looking for an answer to some mysterious puzzle he'd constructed in his head. The waterbender placed her hands on her hips. "What?"
"Nothing," he breathed, closing his eyes for a moment.
"It's obviously something. Just spit it out!"
He sighed, "Did General Oro say anything when you healed him? Anything about the night he was attacked?"
"Why are you asking?"
"Because there might be an assassin running loose in the city, and I don't know about you, but I don't feel too fond of the possibility of being stabbed in my sleep."
Katara chewed on her lip, then she gave him a decisive nod, "All he said was that the assassin wore a blue mask, but he was half-conscious, so it could've been total nonsense."
"Right," Zuko looked away, his jaw clenching. "We should head back. It's getting late."
"It doesn't mean anything to you?" Katara asked. "The blue mask."
"No," he replied, his expression cold. "It means nothing."
————————————
A week later, Katara woke and the air instantly felt lighter. She couldn't be sure why, but as she sat up in bed and stretched her sore muscles, something whispered that she was about to have a good morning.
As she had for the past seven days, she started her day with fifty abdominal crunches, and as many push ups as she could do in one go, which was currently only eight. Then she'd practice her kicks and punches and jog in place for a few minutes until she collapsed on her bed in a pile of sweat and aching limbs. The pain was good though. It made her feel like she was accomplishing something—working towards a tangible goal for the first time in years. Each repetition of the exercises was a rebellion against the Fire Nation. Each swing of her fist was an embodiment of all the rage she'd been holding back since she was a little girl watching her home invaded by evil outsiders wearing the fire insignia. Determination burned hot within her soul, and she knew now more than ever that she was entering a vital stage in her life, one that would define the rest of it.
Katara finished washing up a few minutes before the usual intrusion of guards in her room, braiding her hair and then tossing it over her shoulder. She smoothed down her red clothes, and inhaled a long breath, preparing herself for the day ahead, and then she waited. And waited. And waited. Minutes ticked by, and Katara furrowed her eyebrows. She cautiously walked forward, pressing her ear to the door, and in the hallway she heard...silence. How odd. Her palm hovered over the door knob, and shock plundered through her veins when she grasped the golden handle, and it actually turned on its own volition.
"What the...?" The door creaked as it drifted open, and Katara walked into the hallway. She was alone, and there was no sign of any guards. Was she dreaming? Katara pinched her arm. No, this was real.
The common noises of the palace awakening were still present. There was still that hint of ash, steel, and sage floating through the air. Everything else was normal, but Katara was completely baffled, and she wasn't sure what to do. She'd forgotten what it was like not to be pushed around by guards or Mai and Ty Lee at every hour of the day. Did Zuko have something to do with this? Had his fake journal entries already made the Princess let up on her because she thought she was getting the upper hand? Katara tried to rationalize it all, and came to the conclusion that there must have been a mistake in the guard rotations, and soon she'd be flanked by firebenders again.
She took a step, and then another. Soon, she found herself all the way on the other end of the corridor. Servants rushed by, not once acknowledging her presence. She spotted a few councilmen and generals comparing maps, and no one even gave her a second glance.
"Katara, there you are," she turned, facing Mokan as he approached in his usual Fire Sage robes. "I am to relay a message from Princess Azula. The journal entries have directed her towards a few leads in the Earth Kingdom as to the Avatar's potential whereabouts. She will be away for several weeks pursuing these leads with Mai and Ty Lee, and since the Emperor is a very busy man, I am temporarily in charge of you."
Azula's gone? As in, not in the Fire Nation? As in, Katara was free of her torments for a few weeks?
Katara held back a wide smile.
"As I have my own duties, I do not have time to constantly monitor you, and honestly I don't feel the need to. You're perfectly aware of the stakes and what should happen if you try anything."
"So...?"
"So move through the palace as you wish. If you want to leave palace grounds, you must have an escort. Your sessions with Zuko will happen as normal, and when the Princess returns, she expects even more leads."
"Wait, you're serious?" Katara asked in disbelief. "This isn't a trick?"
"Why would it be a trick?" He raised an eyebrow. "I am a Fire Sage. I do not indulge frivolous pranks."
When Mokan walked away, Katara was frozen in place for a few moments as his words fully sunk in, and when she gathered herself, she wasn't sure what to do. She looked in every direction, trying to decide where to go, and she found herself falling into habit. Her feet led her to the back of the palace, and then out those doors through the small gardens. The fresh aroma of wisteria and blossoming fire lilies drifted around her as the clouds coasted above in spiraling, white puffs against a pale blue expanse. Comforting winds brushed through the dewy morning, and Katara stood right where the infirmary used to. There were still scars in the ground from the stakes of the tent. Katara sat down in the middle of it, bringing her knees to her chest. Then, she reclined on her back until she was looking right at the clouds, and she thought one of them resembled an igloo, but it soon shifted and moved on with everything else.
Katara's hands rested on her chest and intertwined. She felt the damp grass underneath pillowing around her limbs, and tried to imagine it was snow. She wished the igloo would come back, and then she'd have a perfectly distorted view of home. As close as she could get.
Was Sokka alive? Thinking of home brought her brother to her first before anything else. The rebellion was still fighting, and she chose to believe he was too. Thinking anything else, well, it made everything she was doing to escape suddenly hollow and meaningless. If Sokka was dead, she might as well be too.
She nodded to herself. He's alive.
Find her, the note had said. He believed she was still alive—still fighting tooth and nail to make it amongst their enemies. He hadn't given up hope, even after all this time, and even after watching her being dragged away and thrown onto a terrible, metal ship heading straight for an execution.
Approaching footsteps crunching against the grass made her stiffen, but Katara didn't move. She tilted her head back to find an upside down Prince Zuko staring at her with his usual, hard frown. Katara huffed, ignoring him and closing her eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"Go away," she said. "I'm trying to enjoy my first day of peace, and you're ruining it."
"Why are you laying in the grass?"
"Why are you still talking to me?" Katara snapped.
She heard him let out a breath of annoyance, "We need to start doing my sessions in the mornings. While Azula is gone, I have to attend to more duties around here."
"We're getting nowhere, Zuko," Katara kept her eyes closed. "If it's just going to be another memory of you sulking in a dark cell, I think it can wait."
"I don't sulk." Katara snorted, and he was suddenly grabbing her arm and yanking her to a standing position.
"Hey—!"
"Listen, I don't care if my memories bore you. We need to get them back as quick as we can, and with Azula being gone we have a better chance of getting out of here without being killed, so stop being difficult."
"Oh, I'm difficult?" Katara yanked her arm out of his grasp. "The only reason our progress is so slow is because you're so fucking stubborn and hard to get along with!"
His voice lowered, "Well I'm sorry I don't care about making you like me when we're committing literal treason!"
"I stopped being scared of death a long time ago, Prince Zuko," Katara answered, "so it's going to take a little more than some treasonous activities to scare me into doing things exactly how you want when you want."
"Agni, you're so insufferable. All I'm asking is to do our sessions in the mornings!"
"Maybe you should rethink insulting me then, and maybe you should try asking nicely."
Arguing with him was a trap so easy to fall into, and when she did get ensnared, she no longer cared about logic or reason or who was actually right. All she cared about was winning, or getting the last word, no matter how deep she had to cut. Zuko had that affect on her for some reason—made her want to throw all inhibitions out the window and scream and yell until her lungs gave out.
In this moment, what he was asking was perfectly reasonable, but he always found a way to set her off.
Zuko looked to the sky for patience, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Katara, I'm not sure how to do nice."
"Well try. Maybe use that brain of yours supposedly located in your thick skull."
He grit his teeth, and she quirked her lips in victory.
"Fine. Is it okay with you, Katara, if we do our sessions in the mornings? Like right now?" She raised her eyebrows, and he rolled his eyes. "Please?"
"Why yes, of course, Zuko," she grinned. "Did saying please physically hurt you? Do you need a healing session after that?"
"Shut up," he called over his shoulder as he began walking towards the palace.
Katara smiled to herself, and then, she hurried after him.
—————————————
ZUKO
memory three
There was a bag over his head, and everything was dark.
The earthy smell of the caverns stuck with him wherever they were taking him. It was nowhere above ground, but anything other than his cell would be a welcome sight. Voices mixed around him—too many to discern anything that made sense—and he occasionally bumped into a body or a slab of rock. Whoever was leading him would snicker as if they were leading him in the wrong directions for fun. He was ready to burn anyone he saw, but that wouldn't help him here. After losing count of the weeks and staring at nothing but rocks and green gemstones, he was welcoming the idea of making a deal. Holding up his end was a fickle thing. He could offer trust, but not return it. Anything to escape. He'd betray the rebels when the time came. He could make them trust him. After all, they were desperate to get the upper hand in the war, and having the Prince of the Fire Nation on their side was a dangerous temptation that'd be easy to take advantage of. He'd been trained in more than the art of bending and combat. Zuko knew how to withstand torture. He knew how to manipulate his enemies. He just needed time to think of a clever plan; of something that wouldn't end in his death or having to turn his back on his Nation.
Something that would end with the Avatar in chains.
Zuko was forced to sit down on some type of bench that felt like it was made of gemstones. He could see the faint glow even underneath the bag on his head. Then, it was yanked off, and he coughed a few times, gathering himself.
He was in a circular room, and every formation had been carved by earthbenders. There was a round table made of dark rocks and curved, emerald benches all around it, as if it could accommodate a full war room of generals. Zuko rested his chained hands on the table, and then he turned his attention to the many pairs of eyes narrowed on him. Right across from him was that Water tribe man that he'd spoken to before. He was gripping a sword, ready to jump into action if he needed to.
The earthbender girl that knocked him out was right beside him. Her eyes were a pale green—eyes of a blind girl. There were also several other earthbenders in armor and a few teenagers in different colored tunics. One had a bow and arrow and a pointed, straw hat. Another was short with face paint. Then, there was a very tall man chewing on a piece of straw with two swords strapped to his back. He leaned against the table, indifference in his brown eyes.
Several women in green and brown armor stood behind the Water Tribe man. Their faces were covered in white with red around their eyes. Kyoshi Warriors. Zuko had heard of them, but he thought they stayed on their island—intent on shielding it from the war. Every person in this room either looked to be around his age, or much younger. This was the rebel stronghold? A band of teenagers?
"So, Sparky finally wants to talk?" The blind girl shoved his shoulder. "I knew you'd come around eventually."
"Where's my Uncle?" he demanded, his eyes on the Water Tribe man. "I won't say a fucking word until I see him. That's the deal."
The Water Tribe man sighed, bowing his head in a nod, "Alright, I get it. General Iroh?"
When his Uncle stepped out of the shadows with his Fire Nation armor replaced by a plain, green tunic, his top knot cut off, and his eyes full of gentleness, Zuko almost passed out. He put a hand on the Water Tribe man's arm.
"Thank you for keeping him unharmed, Sokka."
Wait, hold on. What?
"Why are you talking to him Uncle?" Zuko asked. "What's going on?"
"Prince Zuko, please, just try to listen and be patient," his Uncle held out his hands. "Hear them out, and then we'll talk, just the two of us."
Zuko couldn't trust a rebel, but he could always trust his Uncle.
So, he nodded, and Sokka let out a long breath, "The rumors of the resistance's growing strength are true, but we're nowhere near putting an end to this war. We're nowhere near even reconquering Ba Sing Se, let alone planning an invasion. Instead, we've split up into strategic groups focusing on smaller missions that will eventually put us in the right position at the right time."
"Yeah, and that's gone great for you guys the past hundred years," Zuko snapped.
"Hey, you have no idea what we've been through, fire boy!" One of the Kyoshi Warriors pointed a finger at him. "You have no idea what we've done to get here!"
"It's okay, Suki," Sokka said. "The point is, we've been needing more people from the Fire Nation to switch sides, or at least agree to be an informant for us."
"Is that's what you want from me, you're wasting your breath."
"You're not very good at listening, are you?" The earthbender girl blew a piece of hair out of her face.
"I still think we shouldn't trust him. We should use him to collect a bounty or do a hostage exchange," the tall man said, plucking the straw out of his mouth. "We can't trust firebenders. You of all people should know that Sokka. Just think of what they did to your mother. To Kyoshi Island!"
Kyoshi Island? What did he mean?
Sokka looked down, clenching his jaw, "It's our best option, Jet."
"Look, I think you're getting ahead of yourselves," Zuko said. "I haven't even agreed to help you people with anything."
"Here's the deal, jerkbender, you are going to help us with a mission in Omashu," Sokka crossed his arms over his chest. "Your Uncle has already agreed, and if you want to ensure his safety, you'll come along and help us out. Otherwise, you can sit in the dark in that tiny cell for another month and a half. You've already been declared a deserter, so there's no going back to your safe little palace any time soon."
That he wasn't surprised by. It hurt, though, to know everyone thought he was a traitor. He'd restore his honor eventually. Now more than ever, it'd be impossible to return without the Avatar.
"But why would you trust me to help? It doesn't make sense."
"Because your Uncle has vouched for you," Sokka stood. "While you were sulking, he's been helping refugees displaced by the war. He's been reuniting families and making tea for the entire base and being a real stand up guy. Even though he says there's good in you, I say let's throw you back in the dark until it's outside you too." Zuko's eyes shot to his Uncle, and Sokka ran his hands over his face. "But, I guess desperate times do really call for desperate measures, and I'll do about anything, even take a risk with you, if it brings me closer to seeing my sister again. I don't care who I have to trust or what I have to compromise, I am finding Katara because an informant has confirmed she's still alive in the Fire Nation."
Katara?
Katara.
Shit.
The girl who he owed his life. The girl he was indebted to.
Uncle Iroh looked right at him.
Then, the teenager with the bow and arrow walked forward, throwing a metal box in front of Zuko's face. It thudded against the stone table, and Uncle Iroh came forward to open it. Zuko sucked in a breath.
Inside were his two dao swords and a familiar blue mask he'd always hung as a decoration in his quarters.
"In order to do this, you'll have to become someone new, Prince Zuko. You will have to let your old self die and a new one be reborn in a rainbow of fire."
Zuko picked up the mask. He stared at the face, his new reflection.
Then, when his Uncle unlocked his chains, he wrapped a palm around a sword. He brought the blade to his ponytail, and he cut.
His hair fell inside the metal box. He slammed it shut. He slammed it all shut, his identity, his birthright, his ideas of right and wrong. He'd open it again when he had the Avatar, and then this mess would all be over.
For now, he'd be basked in blue. A man behind a mask. A banished Prince searching for himself; for home and everything he thought he knew so clearly like a sunset in Caldera. To play these blurry lines, he couldn't be Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.
Like his Uncle said, let your old self die.
And from the ashes, he'd rise. He only hoped that at the end, he could still live with himself. War called for extremities. He had the scar to prove it.
Zuko clenched the mask. He looked to Sokka, his amber eyes sparking.
"Tell me more about this mission."
—————————————
Notes:
so sorry about the wait! life got so so busy around the holidays, and then a new semester started so i have been drowning in assignments already, LOL. also, I want to say that the first 10 chapters of this story are meant to be mainly set up for the rest of it. it’s meant to have a bit of a slower start bc it really picks up and then doesn’t slow down much haha.
ALSO, this is going to be a darker story in which I dive deeper into things such as blood bending, and furthermore, there will be gore. there will also be minor character death and some heavier themes as we continue. just some things to be aware of! I will make sure to add trigger warnings when needed!
anyways, i hope everyone enjoyed! please leave any comments you have :) i love reading your feedback <3
Chapter 10: Hollow
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
HOLLOW
SONG—RISES THE MOON: LIANA FLORES
Days fade into a watercolour blur
Memories swim and haunt you
But look into the lake, shimmering like smoke
Rises the moon
Oh-oh, close your weary eyes
I promise you that soon the autumn comes
To darken fading summer skies
Breathe, breathe, breathe
——————————
"It's you?"
Katara's words hung in the air like cracked glass on the verge of splintering. As she stared at Prince Zuko, he kept his head in his hands, still recovering from how deep she was taking his mind within itself, even as she read through his frantic notes. Some lines were barely discernable, but she was stuck on the last few—the ones that revealed it was Zuko who wore the blue mask. She wasn't sure what else to say, or how to feel, or what this meant for him and for her. He had tried to kill Oro? He was the elusive assassin?
The waterbender stood, throwing his journal on the bed. Zuko looked at her through half-closed lids. He was struggling to stay conscious. These sessions were really beginning to take a toll, but they couldn't afford to stop.
"You have some serious explaining to do."
Zuko raked a hand through his hair, "I found the mask in a trunk my Uncle sent. I wasn't sure why, but I knew I'd worn it before."
His voice was distant, as if he was still living through past memories.
"Why did you try to kill Oro?"
"I panicked," he admitted. "I panicked because Zhao found me and said that he'd make sure I suffered for what I'd done to him. He knows something that could get me killed, or he thinks he knows something. It was supposed to be him that night. All the intelligence reports still have Oro stationed in Omashu, and they look so much alike in the dark. I made a mistake, alright?"
"Yeah, you did," Katara said. "You really don't think these kinds of things through, do you?"
Zuko huffed, "Now you sound just like my Uncle."
As she chewed on her bottom lip, Katara ignored his comment, "I need to find out what Zhao knows. You were right last week. We do need each other if we're going to get out of here, and I can't have you getting killed before we even attempt an escape." And she had the perfect way to get information. "I healed Oro. It'd make sense for me to check in on him. Maybe I can—"
Zuko stood, "No."
"What do you mean no?"
"You don't need to go anywhere near Oro, or Zhao. It's bad enough he knows about you now. He's ruthless, Katara, and if he senses any hint of disloyalty, he will find a way to kill you."
"Well, I think it's worth the risk. Besides, I don't hear you coming up with a better plan," Katara raised her eyebrows, and Zuko only huffed, raking a hand through his raven locks. "Look, if Zhao knew anything for certain, you'd already be dead, but the information he has could end up being dangerous...for both of us."
She'd go to the ends of the earth to see her brother again. No matter how many firebenders she had to face, even if it meant risking everything, she had to try. Sitting around and waiting for someone else to get things done was never her style. Especially now that freedom was so close, she was more determined than ever. Maybe that pushed her towards more lethal edges, but she wouldn't stop. And if Prince Zuko wasn't on board...so be it. She'd do it all herself and damn him to rot in this place. His alliance made things easier, more likely to succeed, but if she was forced to, she'd figure it out without his help.
Zuko clenched his jaw. He was pacing and shaking his head, but he was starting to realize all of this too. He let out an unhappy sigh, "I still think it's a shit plan."
"Then it's a good thing I don't care about what you think."
He scoffed in unbelief, "The more time I spend with you, the more I believe you genuinely do have a death wish."
"You don't have to worry about me," she replied, hardening her gaze, "I'm not the helpless little girl I was when your people first kidnapped me."
"No, I suppose you aren't," he said, his eyes catching on her face.
That little girl was still buried deep down inside a layer of thick ice impossible to crack, and what remained of Katara now was something forged in fire. Within the flames, she found her strength.
And she'd need every flicker of it to find her way home.
—————————
Standing outside Oro's chambers, Katara fiddled with her thumbs and ran through all the ways her plan could go wrong, but she knew from Zuko's reports that Zhao had left two days ago and wouldn't return until the end of the week. She was safe from him, at least for now. The two guards stationed outside the door were staring down at her through their noses, spears held tightly as they stood their posts. She hoped Mokan wouldn't find out about this. After all, he was the one who gaze her the original warning about Oro and Zhao, but he was caught up in his Fire Sage duties for the day, so there was no one standing in her way except these two guards.
Her hope was that Oro would be able to tell her more about the night he was attacked, and that she could gather some hints about what Zhao thinks he has on Zuko. Having to try and spy on Zhao directly was a much bigger task, and way more likely to end with her skin even more scarred. She'd have to be subtle and quick and not give anything away that could connect her and Zuko outside of their healing sessions.
Katara inhaled a long breath, and then she mustered up as much courage as she could find, stepping towards the guards with purpose.
"Stop," one commanded, "you're not allowed in there."
Confused, Katara looked between them, "I'm here on orders from Mokan, you know, the man who is working directly for Princess Azula during her absence."
They exchanged a glance, "Well, we haven't heard anything from Mokan about a waterbender being allowed entry to see General Oro, so get lost."
She threw out her hands, "Fine, when Admiral Zhao gets back and sees that his son is not in perfect condition, you can be the ones to explain how you interfered with a vital healing session. Have a good day."
When Katara turned around, one called out, "Wait!"
She smirked to herself, lacing her hands together as she turned back around, blinking innocently, "Yes?"
"Just...make it quick."
"Of course," she answered with a gentle smile. "I wouldn't want to cause any trouble."
The guards pulled the door open for her, and she stepped inside the breezy room, keeping a nice smile on her face until she heard the doors click shut.
The last time she was in here, she was facing Fire Lord Ozai. Now, with nothing before her but Oro's four poster bed, it almost felt tranquil. Birdsongs echoed from the midday air as the curtains danced in the summer winds and a sweet aroma of blossoming fire lilies filled the space. She hadn't noticed the impressive gold detailing in the wallpaper, or the dragons carved into the wooden dresser during her first experience in this room. She'd been far too overwhelmed and frantic.
The guest chambers made her room look like a pig stye. It was no where near as big as Zuko's room, but it felt warmer. Maybe because Zuko's grumpy energy was always bringing things down.
Katara rested a hand on one of the bed posts as Oro looked up from scattered pieces of parchment. His eyebrows lifted, and to Katara's surprise, he smiled. Not a menacing smile or a calculating one. Just a genuine, happy smile. It made him look younger, boyish even.
"Katara, what are you doing here?"
"You know my name?"
"Of course I do. You saved my life."
The waterbender dropped her hand and walked to stand beside the bed, "How are you doing? I wish I could've came and checked on you sooner. You probably needed more healing sessions than they allowed."
He shrugged, motioning to his bandaged side, "The other healers said it'll scar, but you stopped all the bleeding somehow, and that's what really saved me. What you did..." Oro shook his head. "Well, I've never actually met a waterbender before, and I didn't realize how powerful your bending really can be."
"Powerful?" Katara scoffed. "That's not the word I'd usually use."
"You basically brought me back to life. That's some serious power, Katara."
She noticed a chair a few feet away from the bed, and she pulled it underneath her, "I've never been able to truly train my bending. I've only ever been a healer, so I've just never thought of it that way." Suddenly, she remembered who she was talking to, and Katara stiffened. Oro's eyebrows creased, and she sat up straighter. "I'm just going to check on your wound, if you don't mind."
He nodded, "Have at it."
Looking around the room, she spotted a small basin of water beside the dresser. Katara brought it over to her chair, and then bended the water around her palms. The liquid basked the room in a bright hue of blue as Oro moved the bandage out of the way to reveal an angry laceration that definitely needed her healing touch. The firebending healers had applied some kind of salve and herbs to fight an infection, but it wasn't healing as well as it could. She focused and pressed her palms to his side, causing him to wince.
She could sense the skin mending itself, and the water flowing through his wound to purify it. Seconds passed, and Oro's muscles relaxed.
"Wow, that feels so much better already," he remarked with a small laugh. "That's amazing."
If she actually put her focus into healing it properly, there would be obvious evidence that a waterbender helped him. Even if news of her time in this room never got out, when the Fire Nation healer returned and saw his mended wound, they'd know.
But he was in so much pan, and the salve and herbs weren't doing much. The infection could spread. He could still die. It was her job as a healer to take pain away; to save everyone she could. How could she let him continue to suffer when she had the power to completely heal him? Her plan suddenly felt very wrong, leaving him with this festering wound so she could cover her tracks. He's a firebender, he deserves it. Katara shut her eyes, willing herself to drop her hands.
She can't.
The water glowed even brighter for a few minutes, and when she finally pulled her hands away, the wound was clean and the skin had stitched itself back together completely. Katara chewed on her lip, wondering if she had done the right thing.
Oro stared at his side in shock, feeling around for any sense of his injury.
"It'll still be tender for a few days, but you should be able to return to normal now."
"You..." he gasped. "My wound is gone."
"On the outside, at least," she answered, looking to the ground, her hand covering her forearm.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you."
"You might be able to," she said, "if you can answer some questions for me." His chocolate eyes met hers, and he nodded. "Can you tell me what you remember about the assassin who attacked you?"
With a long breath, Oro looked away, "It was dark, and I was taken completely by surprise. All I saw was the blue mask and his swords. I can't tell you who it was, but... my father has suspicions."
"Suspicions?" Katara asked. "Admiral Zhao knows who's behind the blue mask?"
"It's the same vigilante who caused all kinds of trouble for him in Omashu, someone from the resistance probably. The Blue Spirit, people call him, and he's one of the most wanted people in the entire world. My father spent a long time trying to identify him, but he never could. Until now, I guess."
"What do you mean?" Katara's heart pounded.
Oro leaned back, "He said that once he returns, he'll be able to finally have proof to reveal the Blue Spirit to the Fire Lord."
Oh shit. Oh no. This is bad.
Katara had to fight to keep her face neutral, "You seem very loyal to him."
Oro scoffed, "I have to be, just like you have to be loyal to Fire Nation to stay alive, so do I."
"And if you had another choice?"
He looked her dead in the eyes and replied, "There is no other choice." The words hit her like a punch to the gut. Katara had to break her gaze with Oro, squeezing her palms together in her lap to stay calm, "but I won't say anything about you being here. Think of it as another way of saying 'thanks for not letting me bleed to death'."
"They'll know. I healed your wound completely."
"Then, I'll tell them I asked for you," he said. "Trust me, Katara, nothing bad will happen to you because of this."
All she could do was smile because she knew he couldn't keep that promise, just as she knew she couldn't trust him, or anyone else wearing Fire Nation red.
"Thank you, General Oro."
—————————
That night, Katara couldn't sleep because it was a full moon, and because she couldn't stop replaying her conversation with Oro in her mind. Once the tossing and turning became too much, she left her newly unguarded room and practically sprinted for the back gardens. As soon as the pure moonlight touched her skin, she felt utterly alive. She felt the power thrumming through her blood, even if she couldn't fully tap into it.
The sensation was overwhelming. She had no where to channel all this energy, until she glanced at the small pond to her left. Her breath hitched, and she looked in every direction for any sign of guards, but the passing rotation was too far away to see her, and the silver wisteria provided enough cover. Katara was shaking, and not from nerves or fear, but from the amount of pent up feelings in her every vein; from the racing adrenaline pulled out by the dominating moon above. As she raised her shaking hands, the water in the pond rippled to life.
She shot her arm up and a stream of clear water followed. A frog hopped away, croaking as she gracefully swung her arm across her chest. The water mimicked her motions, snapping like a burst of lightning towards the night. Her heart was running wild, and she pulled the water closer to her chest, forming it into a little ball. For a few minutes, she just stared into the swirling bubble with a small grin on her face. There truly was nothing like this. Controlling her element felt foreign, yet so familiar at the same time. Like a lost melody or bedtime story from her childhood. Katara split the bubble in two and streamed the water through the air for a while until she let it all fall back into the pond and settle once again.
Turning her face to the moon, she prayed to Tui and La that this wasn't all in vain. She was getting stronger, her body and her mind, and if she could sneak away more, maybe even her bending. For so long, Katara thought she was powerless in the Fire Nation, but she had forgotten that all her power was just resting underneath the surface. It had always been within her, she'd always had what she needed to survive.
Katara nodded to herself, and then she quietly made her way back into the palace.
She tiptoed through the hollow corridors, ducking away anytime she saw a guard out of habit and because she didn't want to be questioned about why she was wandering around this time of night.
However, when she found herself in front of a door, it wasn't her own.
Katara let out a breath as she knocked lightly a few times and waited for the quick shuffle of feet to cross the room until Prince Zuko pulled open the door. He was in his robe, and it was tied around his waist, only revealing the top of his chest.
His eyes were wide awake.
"Katara?"
"Couldn't sleep either?"
He shook his head, and then motioned for her to come inside, "Ever since you told me about Zhao coming back with proof that I'm the Blue Spirit, I've just been journaling and pacing to keep myself from going completely insane." When the door closed, his eyes drifted to hers. "You?"
She shrugged, "It's a full moon. I couldn't sleep even if I tried."
"Oh, right," he shook his head, like he was jolting himself out of a trance.
"Plus, my room is tiny, and I would also go insane if I just stay cooped up in there."
"So, you chose my room because...?"
Oh. She hadn't expected him to ask for a specific reason. Then again, why was she here?
Katara stumbled as she tried to find the words, "Well, I...uh...actually....I guess you’re the only other person here I can actually talk to.” Katara’s eyes immediately widened and she threw her hands up. “This doesn’t mean I like you. I merely can tolerate your presence on a restless night.”
”Okay, sure,” Zuko said, his lips barely quirking. “Come on then.”
He began walking towards the balcony, “What are you doing?”
”We’re going to sit on the roof,” he explained, “It’s a better place for us to sit and dislike each other.”
Eying him, she waited until he disappeared, climbing onto the rails of the balcony to pull himself onto the overhang. With a small sigh, Katara followed and found herself feeling more confident in her ability as she stood on her toes and used her arm muscles to pull herself up beside Zuko. He was already sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, his head tilted as he observed the full moon.
Katara joined him, mirroring his position, as they sat in a comfortable silence. She felt the light wind kiss her face, and she let out a content breath. From this vantage point, she could see all of Caldera within the volcano. Faint lanterns and glimmering shadows of those still moving throughout the night. Rows of houses and markets and carts of fresh goods. All the way to the dark beaches and roaring ocean.
Hours could’ve passed, and she wouldn’t even know. It was rare to feel peace like this.
“So,” Zuko finally said, keeping his eyes on the moon, “any idea on how to stop our impending doom?”
”Not yet,” she rested her chin on her knees. “We’ll think of something.”
”Part of me still thinks you’ll dance on my grave,” Zuko dared a look at her. “Zhao coming back to ensure my death…your lucky day.”
She laughed, “I …I don’t think I want you dead, Zuko. Would I still kill you if I had to? Yeah, no question about that. Would I feel bad about it?” She weighed her hands. “Debatable.”
Zuko shoved her shoulder with his, and the action confused her. He was being…oddly friendly.
“I don’t want you dead either.”
”Wow. Progress.”
”Not really for me,” he said. “I’ve never wanted you to die.”
She opened her mouth, but couldn’t say the same. She’d wished his entire family dead for her entire life. Every single firebender, in fact.
Now, she was staring at a boy who she didn’t wish dead anymore. Somehow, it unnerved her. To realize how close she truly was to an enemy. Even if they weren’t friends, somehow, she felt like she was betraying her Tribe.
Her eyebrows were drawn together, and she didn’t even realize he was still watching her. Observing every detail of her expression.
“What do you think would’ve happened to us if we weren’t born during a war?” she asked. “Do you think we’d ever…get along?”
”Nah,” Zuko shook his head. “You’re too damn stubborn. No matter how we met, you’d still be a pain in the ass.”
”And you’d still be a grumpy jerk.”
”Exactly. It’d never work out.”
Katara chuckled and rolled her eyes, “I think I’d like to be a waterbending teacher, in this other hypothetical reality,” she met his fiery stare through the darkness. “What about you?”
”Ive never really thought about anything other than being heir to the throne,” he answered, “but if I had to be something else, I guess I’d be a pirate captain.”
Katara snorted, “A pirate? You can’t be serious.”
”Well, I still want to travel the world, and I’ve always wanted a pet bird—maybe a hawk.” When she started laughing, Zuko glared. “At least my answer wasn’t boring. Waterbending teacher? Could you be a little less predictable, Katara?”
“Fine,” she said, looking up at the moon. “I think I’d be…” the answer came to her then, and it surprised her how true it was. “I want to be involved in government, ensuring everyone is treated fairly and equally.”
Zuko’s lips quirked, “That’s more like it.”
And as they stayed underneath the beams of the full moon, they sat a little closer than before, enveloping once again in a comfortable, serene stillness.
That was, until Katara envisioned a mental picture of Zuko as a pirate. She started laughing so hard she was almost brought to tears.
“What’s so funny?” Zuko asked defensively.
“Nothing,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Nothing at all, Captain Zuko.”
He shot her another glare, “Shut up.”
”Aye aye, Captain.”
”You’re the worst.”
And then, Katara bursted into another fit of laughter.
Notes:
heyyy everyone! it’s been a while! but I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! please feel free to leave any thoughts and comments :)
Chapter 11: Descent
Notes:
content warning: depictions of violence and harm
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
DESCENT
SONG: WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME—FLORENCE + THE MACHINE
" And oh, poor Atlas
The world's a beast of a burden
You've been holding on a long time
And all this longing
And the ships are left to rust
That's what the water gave us. "
———————————————
Katara was wrapped in warm, delicate silk, a hazy dawn hue sprinkling through the parted curtains of the bed. Everything felt much softer than she remembered—more serene, like she could sleep until the sun peaked in the midday sky. She pulled the sheets tighter around her body, breathing in the hints of ash and rose petals lingering within the space. Why did her room smell so good? Why did the bed feel so much larger and comfortable? Katara's mind was lingering in that realm between waking and dreaming; it felt like a soft kiss on her forehead to pass between them with such a gentle nudge. She was used to jerking awake from nightmares or pounding on her door from the guards or Azula's taunts. Her mattress was thin, barely anything better than what they gave people in the prison, which meant her back always ached at first. It took several minutes of stretching for her muscles to relax.
Reality snapped back together then. Katara's eyes flung open as she realized this wasn't right. She sat up and gasped loudly. Her hand flung to her head as she shook it several times to make sure she really was awake and in Prince Zuko's room...
In Prince Zuko's bed.
There was no sign of the Prince in the room, though. She was alone, and Katara thought back to last night; their long talk on the roof, laying down beside him to look at the moon and the few stars they could see through the night, and then she must have fallen asleep, which meant he carried her down and let her sleep in his bed. They stayed out there until close to sunrise just...talking. At first about Zhao and their healing sessions, but then, she spoke of home and the southern lights and Sokka while he told her about his family's trips to Ember Island when he was young.
Confusion hit her like a ton of bricks. Yes, they were allies now, but that was supposed to be the end of it. They weren't supposed to be staying up talking all night, and blurring these lines even more. Prince Zuko was loyal to the Fire Nation. Deep down, he still wanted to capture the Avatar and prove to his father that he's still worthy of being heir to the throne. Katara would need to constantly remind herself of those facts, even when he was showing her the side of him that others rarely got to see. The natural urge of distrust was telling her he was just doing it so she would let her guard down around him, so he could find her weaknesses and take advantage of her.
When she heard footsteps, Katara panicked. She laid back down and pulled the sheets around her, shutting her eyes tightly as her heart pounded. She wasn't ready to face the Prince just yet. She was worried things would be...well....awkward. Maybe once he left the room again, she could make a swift escape, and they could pretend none of this ever happened.
Yes, just back to professional ally duties. And nothing more.
She could hear the door open and click shut quietly, as if Prince Zuko was trying his very best not to wake her. His footsteps were silent against the floor, and Katara's entire body tensed when he sat down on the other side of the bed. She hoped he didn't notice, and her heart hammered against her chest. She barely opened her eyes, and saw that she was facing his back. He was fully dressed, and his hair was done up in a top knot. When he moved his head, she closed her eyes and laid as still as possible. She could feel his eyes on her face, and it took all the self control in her body not to react. Was she even breathing?
Breathe, Katara, breathe.
"Are you pretending to be asleep?"
Shit.
Katara opened her eyes, meeting a harsh flicker of amber, "Uh...no. No, actually I just woke up." She sat up, stretching her arms, trying to move through this nervous energy as smoothly as she could. "Did you get any sleep? You look like you've been up for a while."
"A little bit. Firebender remember? You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun."
Katara furrowed her eyebrows, "So, you just slept in some random guest room?" Zuko rubbed the back of his neck, and Katara's eyes widened when the realization struck her. "Wait, you mean...you slept here? We both slept in.... this bed?"
Her cheeks were burning, so she looked away from him, "It is my bed, after all, and it's pretty big!" She could feel him smirking. "Don't worry, I stayed on my side. Unless you would've preferred—"
She stood, sending him a strong glare, "I would have preferred being woken up so I could've slept in my own bed!" The mental imagine of Zuko sleeping next to her made her insides heat up, and she didn't like it. His strong body so close to hers, the rise and fall of his chest just on the other side of the sheets. Katara wanted to slap herself.
"I tried! You waterbenders sleep like the dead!" he exclaimed as Katara smoothed her hair down. "You'd think I'd at least get a thank you for carrying you down from the roof. I guess I should've just left you up there!"
Katara seethed as she walked towards the door, "Yeah well, I'd rather sleep on the damn roof during a lightning storm than willingly share a bed with you!"
Zuko threw his hands out, "Oh trust me, it wasn't a pleasant experience! Your snoring kept me up the whole time!"
"I do not snore!" Her shoulders rose and fell as she closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of their nose. They had a healing session scheduled for this morning, and she would be no good to him feeling like this. How could she calm his mind when she was imagining sending frozen discs at his head? "Can we just go ahead and get this healing session over with so I can go back to my own room?"
The Prince muttered something under his breath as he gave in and motioned for her to join him.
In Katara's mind, she was back in the South Pole watching the sunrise over the tundra and expanse of dark blue ocean with the graceful fall of snow to greet her. By traveling to her safe space, she was able to smother her rage and frustrations and focus on the calm waters of her healing. Finding that stillness within her that connected with Zuko's mind and allowed him to go back in time, and it allowed her to escape for a while.
She concentrated on the blue glow, and as Zuko was swept away into his hidden memories, she found peace.
ZUKO
memory four
The passing of time felt warped in the resistance base. While Zuko moved freely through the mountain, watchful eyes followed him everywhere; conversations stilted and noses turned up at the sight of him. He didn't know what his uncle saw in these people. Most of them were annoying teenagers playing at war. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into—the kind of suffering this world could deal out. Zuko and his uncle had traveled to every corner of this world in search of the Avatar. He'd seen villages razed just because a General was in a bad mood. He'd seen children with burn scars, younger than when he received his. He'd seen what starvation and desperation did to people, and most of the time, it was because they thought they had what it took to fight back. That this act of defiance would be different. They were always wrong.
Even though he knew all these rebels were doomed, they could be his best chance of finding the Avatar; his best chance to finally return home and restore his honor. So, he prepared with them for this mission in Omashu. He'd do his part and wait for the right opportunity to take advantage of the situation, all while making sure Uncle Iroh stayed safe.
Across from him, Sokka fiddled with a boomerang. What would that do against firebenders?
"There's a system of tunnels underneath the city. Our contacts can get a small team in and out quietly."
"Omashu is crawling with ruthless generals that will execute anyone part of the resistance. What makes you so confident that your plan will even work?" Zuko asked.
"No one asked for your opinion, firebender," Jet said as he leaned against the wall. "We go in, rescue our people, and then we get out. Simple."
It was far from simple. Admiral Zhao had control of Omashu, or New Ozai as it had recently been named in honor of his father. Zhao was the most brutal and well-known Admiral in this part of the world, and it was all due to his cruelty and kill count.
"If you have people that were captured in Omashu, I doubt they're still alive."
Sokka clenched his fists, "You don't know that."
"Admiral Zhao doesn't really do prisoners, and the ones he keeps around are just to torture when he gets bored—"
"Enough," Suki placed a hand on Sokka's shoulder, sending a glare to the Fire Nation Prince. "We'll save your father, Sokka. He's still alive, I know it."
Zuko clamped his mouth shut, clenching his jaw, "I'm just making sure everyone is aware of what a dangerous situation we're throwing ourselves into."
"It's about more than saving my father," Sokka placed his boomerang back in its pouch. "This is a chance for us to get our hands on some good intel, straight from one of the most important and up to date bases on this side of the world." Maps of the Fire Nation. A map of the palace even. Zuko locked eyes with Sokka, and he knew what the endgame was. Finding his sister—freeing Katara from her prison. "It's a risk we have to take. We leave in twelve hours."
The meeting room was empty moments later, leaving Zuko alone with his thoughts. He sighed loudly, and then ran his hand over his head, which was now covered in short hairs in a buzzed style. He hated it, just like how he hated this mountain and everyone in it except his uncle.
Zuko gathered himself before leaving the room. The path outside was alight with the emerald gems, leading him through these winding caverns. For nearly two months now, he'd been haunted by this greenish glow, void of any other kind of light. He was forgetting what the sun felt like, or how beautiful the full moon was on a clear night in the capitol. He stopped, leaning against one side of the rocky wall as a memory hit him. His mother and him laying in the grass underneath a giant moon, illuminating everything around them in pale beams. It was a night after he'd failed a firebending test, and Azula spent the whole afternoon taunting him and showing off her superior skills. He was nine, or maybe ten.
She'd found him slashing his peal-handled dagger, a gift from Uncle Iroh, through the air and crying out with all the anguish and frustration he could muster in the gardens, scaring away any nearby turtleducks. His mother made him sit down, and to get his mind off the troubles of the day, she told him about the moon and how it watched over them, even in the Fire Nation.
"But I thought only the Water Tribe believed in the moon spirit."
"Someone who's wise regards all the spirits, Zuko," his mother ruffled his hair, "and the moon is the most beautiful of them all." Her voice was so clear, even in the cavern. "We can find so many good things in the most unexpected places. That's why it's important to have an open mind and always to be learning everything you can about our world. It's how you'll be a great leader one day."
Then, they'd laid down, and Zuko thought about the moon spirit. He'd stared at the distant entity that dominated the night, and wondered if it ever felt lonely.
"Prince Zuko?" Uncle Iroh's voice steadied him back into this reality. Zuko pushed himself off the wall and looked over his shoulder. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Uncle.”
He never was a good liar, not even close to his sister, and the person he was the worst at lying to was his uncle. Iroh inhaled a long breath, placing a calming hand on his nephew’s shoulder.
“I know this adjustment has been difficult, but believe it or not, nephew, this base is the safest place for us right now.”
Zuko furrowed his eyebrows, “Because everyone thinks we’re deserters?”
”It’s more than that. Before we were ever captured, the Emperor had plans to send Azula to bring you home and face the consequences of failing to find the Avatar after all these years.”
Zuko closed his eyes, shaking his head. No, it couldn’t be true. His father wanted him to find the Avatar. His father would still welcome him home.
”I know this is a hard truth to face. I didn’t want to believe it either when Sokka showed me some letters they had confiscated from messenger hawks.”
“You’re wrong!” Zuko shoved past his uncle. “What does some Water Tribe peasant know of our life? I will find the Avatar, and I will restore my rightful place in the Fire Nation. No matter what I have to sacrifice!”
With a storm raging in his head, Zuko found a secluded spot in the cavern, and he sent a burst of rage-filled orange flames into a wall of emerald. Again and again and again. Until sweat was slinking down his entire face and his body temperature was spiking, steam blowing from his nostrils.
Zuko turned his face to the expansive, never-ending ceiling, and let out a loud yell shrouded in roaring fire.
———————————————
Katara exhaled through another punch. Her fists were balled as she planted her feet for a strong foundation, and sweat rolled down her face, dripping from her chin to the floor. She could feel herself getting stronger with each day that passed, and when she looked in the mirror, she saw more definition in her muscles. She'd been able to do twenty push ups without stopping this morning, and she'd done abdominal crunches until she physically couldn't continue. This was good—the pain was a welcome addiction, something she could let numb her mind. It was better than feeling nothing; than feeling trapped or overwhelmed or powerless. Pushing her body to its limits was a comfort she never expected to find. But now, if someone were to try and harm her, she could fight back. There wasn't a better feeling in this place.
The waterbender sank to the floor and rested her back against her thin mattress. Her entire body was drenched from the hour of exercises, and her chest rose and fell quickly. Katara wiped the back of her hand against her forehead and felt the stream of sweat glide down her forearm.
She froze. Katara's breath hitched as she stared at the sweat sticking to her skin and clothes. Not just sweat, but...Water.
She wanted to laugh out loud. How could she not have realized sooner? It was such a simple concept. Her element wasn't just streaming through lakes and rivers and pooling in oceans. It was literally inside of her.
Biting her lip, she lifted her other palm and took a deep breath, imagining her sweat lifting from her skin and forming a bubble. Katara flicked her wrist and the sweat followed. It worked. Katara smiled in victory as she moved the water through the air for a few minutes, and then she narrowed her eyes as she stiffened her fingers and the water separated, forming small icicles, and then she aimed for her dresser.
Katara jumped in excitement as every icicle impaled in her dresser, then she let it all fall to the floor.
"Sweat icicles," she muttered with a laugh, "who knew."
There was a better feeling in this place than knowing she could fight back physically. Waterbending was her home; her purpose. Every time she even made spirals in the water she felt more than any other moments in the Fire Nation.
Katara found the loose floorboard where she hid Zuko's journal, and underneath the picture Sokka had drawn rested the note from the mysterious woman the night of the Military Gala.
Come find me if you wish to learn how to fight back.
57-33-6.
At first glance, she'd thought they were coordinates, but now she wasn't sure. What did these numbers mean?
A knock on the door startled her. Katara went into a rushed panic as she set everything back in its place.
"Katara?" It was Mokan's voice on the other side of the door.
The handle turned just as she stood up and stepped onto the floorboard. She put a friendly smile on her face as she Fire Sage stood in the doorway.
"Mokan, to what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Well, it appears that General Oro has made a miraculous recovery. His wound has just magically vanished. Do you happen to know anything about that?"
She crossed her arms over her chest, nodding, "If you're here, you already know everything."
"He claimed he asked for you specifically."
"His wound was infected—badly. All because his stubborn father wouldn't give me enough time to heal him properly."
"You went against the Emperor's and Admiral Zhao's wishes."
"General Oro would've died slowly and painfully, alone in his room, if wasn't for me!" Katara narrowed her eyes. "I'm not apologizing because I'm not sorry for doing the right thing. I don't care if it was stupid or reckless or 'dishonorable'. In fact, Mokan, I think that all you should just shove your precious honor and wishes up your asses!"
La, that felt good to say. Katara stood her ground, waiting for her scolding or worse. She wasn't going to beg at their feet to be forgiven or admit she was wrong. They were the ones being foolish, not her.
"Regardless of what I believe about the situation," Mokan began, unfazed by her outburst, "and despite the General's story about how he asked for you to heal him, there will be consequences."
Katara furrowed her eyebrows, "I saved his life!"
"Katara," Mokan took a step closer, "you went against the Emperor's wishes."
Her heart sank to her gut, "They'd rather lose one of their Generals than have him saved by a waterbender?"
"You were ordered to save him from the attacker, and you did. Everything that happened after was to be handled by Fire Nation healers per the request of Admiral Zhao and the Emperor," Mokan said, but Katara couldn't grasp it. Without her help, he'd be dead in a few weeks. The infection would've taken him slowly. It was more severe than any outside eyes could see. Her healing abilities allowed her to assess the internal status of those under her care. From the look of it, there was some puss and redness, something that could be cured by natural remedies, but Katara knew the infection had spread lethally and right under their healers' noses. Of course they couldn't admit to that. To the Emperor, she'd shown up and made his wound disappear even though his healers had reported he was recovering. To the Emperor, she'd just defied orders. "Katara, I just want you to know..." Mokan looked to the floor, and for the first time since she'd met him, she saw real emotion flicker through his vital mask. What was it though? Regret, guilt, defiance? "I am truly sorry."
She blinked, shaking her head. "For what?"
"For what comes next."
Guards poured into the room. One second it was just her and Mokan, and the next she was surrounded, being caged in against her bed.
She held up her hands as they came closer, "No," her heart pounded, her vision was turning red. Not from their fire, but from her own rage. Three guards grabbed her, and she recoiled and screamed. "NO!"
Something burst forth from within her. All of the sweat on her body was gone. It'd turned into tiny icicles. The three guards had dropped to the floor, yelling in pain because they were impaled from their legs to their chests with them. Katara gasped as she saw blood on the floor, everywhere in her room.
They weren't pierced deep enough for death to take them, but the blood loss might just do it.
"Restrain her!"
What happened next was a blur. More guards than she could count ran in, and she was thrown to the floor. Her face was lying in a pool of blood as her hands were bound behind her back. She was yanked to her feet and shoved out of the room.
Mokan watched with a blank stare. He looked from Katara and the guards' blood staining her face to the men unable to move in her room.
Then, the Fire Sage simply bowed his head in a nod so subtle she'd almost missed it, and he'd mouthed the words, "Don't break."
———————————————
Darkness fell and rose and jumbled into oblivion. Something was hurting her wrists. Something cold and metal. When had she fallen asleep? Katara couldn't remember where she was or why or what day it was. Just that she was in danger. Her instincts kicked in as her pulse sky-rocketed and her eyes snapped open. This wasn't right. Why was she sitting in a chair? Why were her wrists and ankles underneath metal shackles? The room was bare except for the rows of bars caging her into the cell. A torch burned on the wall beside her, and there were voices somewhere in the hallway. She knew this place, somehow.
Yes, this was the Fire Nation prison she'd been thrown into after she was taken from the South Pole. Perhaps this was the very cell she'd almost starved to death in. Pain registered in the back of her neck, like it was sore from a puncture wound.
They'd given her a sedative. How long had she been out?
Katara jerked against the restraints, but they didn't budge. They were bolted into the chair. Shit, shit shit, shit. Everything came back to her in a harsh flare of memories. Mokan coming to her room, the guards...what she did to them.
A small part of Katara hoped she'd killed them. If she was going to die in this room, at least she'd brought down a few Fire Nation men with her.
But most of her mind felt oddly...guilty. They were her enemies, but why did hurting like that feel wrong?
"The sedative should have worn off by now, Sire."
Katara tensed. The Emperor was here, and she couldn't even imagine what he had in store for her. Katara's stomach churned, and she thought she might throw up, but she closed her eyes and steadied herself, remembering Mokan's words. Don't break.
When she heard the cell door creak, she opened her eyes again and stared right into the Emperor's cold, amber gaze. Even though they were the same color as Zuko's, there was no resemblance. There couldn't be because Ozai was a monster. Zuko was simply the product of one.
"Hello, waterbender," his voice made her want to put as much space between them as possible, but she couldn't move. "I hear you've been causing some trouble." She kept her mouth shut, her face expressionless. "For some reason, you've forgotten your place. I was a fool to think you were simply adapting to your situation when instead you were taking advantage of my kindness." Katara grit her teeth to keep from reacting as he came closer to her, like a wolf stalking its prey; enjoying the thrill of the hunt. "Do you want to know a secret?" he lowered his voice, and she had to crane her neck to keep looking at him as he stood over her. "I don't care about my son's memories. I know he turned his back on his nation during his time away," Katara's eyes widened, and Ozai grinned. "But, I think you've already figured that out, haven't you? You know what I really seek." Ozai's eyes hardened. "So, say it."
When she didn't respond, he slapped her across the face so hard that her head turned violently to the right and she gasped. Her cheek burned as she tasted iron. Katara's eyes watered, but she blinked it all away. Stay calm. Stay calm. "Say it!"
"The Avatar," she finally said, slowly turning her eyes to him again with a glare.
"Ah, the peasant has a brain," Ozai sneered. "Here's the thing about rebels, waterbender. When they break, they shatter." Katara prepared herself for another slap, but the Emperor leaned away from her, "Bring him in!" Him? Oh no, Zuko.
Was he going to be punished as well? Ozai had decided to torture them together so it would hurt even more.
But the man thrown to the floor at her feet wasn't Prince Zuko. In fact, it was someone she had never seen before in her entire life. He was maybe a little older than her with a mop of brown hair and cuts all over his face. He wore prison rags over his long and lean body.
The guards pulled the half-conscious man to his knees before the Emperor. "All their defiance can be redirected into something...purposeful."
"Why are you doing this?" Katara said, shaking her head. "Why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because the reason I no longer care about my son's treason is that once we learn of the Avatar's hiding place, Zuko will be sent to the same place this man received his...reeducation so he can continue to serve our nation as their loyal Prince. That's the deal. The Avatar and his complete compliance in exchange for his honor to be restored." The Emperor flattened his palm, and an angry flame appeared. "You play a vital part in this. You're the key to unlocking the memories. You're the key to finding the Avatar, unfortunately, so you will learn obedience. You will take your punishment and you will never defy me again, or I will personally see to the absolute destruction of everything you hold dear."
The flame grew wilder as he hovered it near her face, and Katara swallowed.
"Jet, the Emperor has invited you to Lake Laogai."
Katara didn't understand what was happening as the man stood, his pupils blown wide and set on Katara. His body was rigid, as if there were strings tied to his muscles.
"I am honored to accept his invitation."
Her heart was pounding in her ears. She wanted to resist or struggle or do something, but she was completely trapped. The man, Jet, walked around the chair and suddenly, his hands were on her shoulders, pinning her back against the wood so she couldn't move at all.
The Emperor placed his hands on the metal restraints that were pressing into her wrists. He gave her an evil, chilling smile, "I could just send you to the reeducation center, but I can tell breaking you myself will be much more satisfying."
Don't break.
Don't break.
Don't break.
Sokka was still fighting somewhere out there, and so was her father—her people. The rebellion hadn't died yet. The world hadn't given up on a new world without war and without the harsh tyranny of the Fire Nation. Hope was a small, rare thing, but Katara wouldn't let go of it.
She looked the Emperor right in his monstrous eyes, and she nodded, "Go ahead then," said the waterbender, venom in her tone, "do your worst."
The burn was instant,
And it was never-ending.
Notes:
SO IM BACK. life has been extremely chaotic for me. i've been dealing with some sickness and had a lot on my plate with school, but i absolutely adore this story (mostly getting to explore katara's character hehe my bad bitch) and writing it always brings me joy. the best part is sharing it with you all! i'm so overwhelmed by the kind comments and kudos i've been receiving. you guys truly make writing so much fun!
AND the plot is starting to bloom!
part one of this story is 1-25 and then part two is 26-50. in this first part, it's all about set up and really spending time building katara's character arc as well as her journey with her bending and revealing all of zuko's memories. part two will basically be dealing with the fallout. i also want to remind everyone that this story is leaning into some darker themes, especially the further in we get.
anyways, i hope everyone enjoyed this update! have a great week, and i'll see you guys next time ;)
Chapter 12: Justify (PART ONE)
Notes:
content warning: violence and gore.
time for the story to take a darker turn...(unedited chapter because i had inspiration again and wanted to share it with you guys asap. will edit this weekend)
this story also has no beta readers because i just get inspiration, write it, and publish it on the internet impulsively and chaotically with no schedule. the whole story will get edited once complete. you're getting my raw, unedited ramblings, hehe.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
JUSTIFY (PART ONE)
SONG: PTOLEMAEA—ETHEL CAIN
"I am no good nor evil, simply I am
And I have come to take what is mine
I was there in the dark when you spilled your first blood
I am here now, as you run from me still
Run then, child
You can't hide from me forever."
———————————
Katara once thought she'd die in the dark.
Alone, starving, battered and broken as she was taken from the South and thrown into blackness. The four walls of her cell was all she knew; they'd see her last breath and take her soul to join her mother. The walls whispered tales of those who came before—whose blood had soaked the floor and lives taken to appease a cruel form of fantasized justice. The oppressors of this world wanted more than power. They knew to gain total control, they'd have to destroy more than just the armies who stood against them. They needed to win the battles waged in the minds of those who remained.
Katara remained. Just when she'd given into the lull of hopelessness, her own power had saved her. She rose from the darkness, and she survived—adapted, like her element was meant to.
But that was before.
Her cheek barely lifted from the grimy floor of the cell. Her vision was fading and mixing, and there was no way to tell how much time had passed. She could hear the sparking of torches, but beyond that, there was only silence and her own breathing. The inconsistent crack crack crack from the fire droned in and out with her consciousness. Pain was the only way to know she was still alive. A searing heat on her wrists that twined through both arms and branched out through her shoulders like her own personal wildfire of torture. In the darkness, she wasn’t sure just how bad she’d been burned, but her entire upper body felt like charred coals.
Katara couldn’t move. All she could do was lay on the floor and wait for what came next. Whether it was more torture or guards dragging her before the Emperor to finally meet her end after all these years, she had no way of figuring it out. Once again, she was alone.
Alone and helpless and broken.
Tears slid from her half-open eyes as she blinked through the blurred shadows. She’d been fighting so hard for so long just for an inkling of freedom—just for the slight probability of escaping this horrid place. Katara had been stripped bare of everything she knew and all that she held dear, forced into Fire Nation clothing and culture against her will, and told what she needed to do to stay alive. Order after order she had followed. Soldier after soldier she had healed. All for the chance that eventually, she’d have her moment to gamble for freedom.
This isn’t the end, a voice in the back of her mind spoke, this isn’t over.
Katara’s grimace turned into a hard sneer as she pushed herself to a sitting position, crying out in pain as her entire upper body screamed in protest. Tears poured down her cheeks, and her head spun until she felt her stomach turning in on itself. Bile rose in her throat, but Katara shook her head.
Breathing heavily, she blinked through her tears, and something else began building within her. Katara clenched her fists—she allowed every drop of anger to come rising to the surface. The full moon was still out; she could feel it calling to her, even down in this dark prison. It fueled her fire, encouraged her rage like the moon was her shield against the pain, against everyone that wasn’t her.
Katara turned her head to the right where the chair sat, and underneath it was a pool of her own blood. The rebel, Jet, held her down through every punch and burn and slap until she passed out and was thrown to the ground. A slight shimmer from the faded orange light of torches made the pool of blood dance in various shapes, rippling against the floor. Katara brought her hand to her forehead, feeling the faint coat of sweat.
Sweat was just another form of water.
And so was…blood.
“She’s in there, Admiral.”
Footsteps echoed through the halls. As Katara’s blue eyes slowly rose from the floor, she found herself staring right at Admiral Zhao in his full Fire Nation regalia; a proud smirk plastered on his face as he crossed his arms over his armor-plated chest. She didn’t recoil or look away. Instead, Katara held eye contact with him, and he just stared down at her like she was a mouse caught in his carefully crafted trap. He turned his nose up as the smell of her burned flesh wafted towards him, but his face quickly changed into a look of pleasure. The signs of her torture brought him joy. He as just as sick and twisted as Mokan and Zuko had described, and being alone in this cell with him made Katara's heart sink to her gut.
“Hello again, peasant,” he said, “have you learned your lesson yet?” Katara’s lips stayed pressed in a firm line, and she didn’t respond. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of playing this game “I see the Emperor has taken his time punishing you accordingly. After all, it is sickening to know someone like you had her hands on an important Fire Nation General. Especially my son.”
”You wouldn’t still have a son if it wasn’t for me.” Her voice was weak and strained, but he still heard every word.
His eyes flared and darkened, and he leaned down, setting his hands on his knees with a tight glare, "You truly don't know when to give up do you? Just like the rest of your people—fighting and dying for a lost cause. Surely by now you've realized you can't win, and that all this resistance can only lead you to suffering."
His fist collided with her cheek. Katara collided with the floor, tasting iron. Blood dripped from her mouth and everything spun. She was on the verge of passing out again, but she couldn't. She had to stay awake.
"Pathetic," The Admiral sneered over her. "You're weak, unworthy of walking these halls, even as a prisoner."
Admiral Zhao grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head up. Katara cried out from the pain—her entire body felt broken. She wanted to fight back, but she was barely hanging on. The scene before her was fading in and out like two realities were blending together.
"The Emperor wants to keep you around to dig through his son's memories for the Avatar, but once he knows the full scope of the Prince's treason, he'll execute the brat himself. I am the only one who can find and kill the Avatar. Ozai will see it soon enough."
"You're wrong," Katara croaked. "You'll never find the Avatar."
Zhao dropped her to the floor forcefully and Katara gasped. He kicked her in the stomach, taking away what little ability she had left to breathe. She wheezed, her lungs struggling.
The Admiral leaned down, amused with her pain, "Perhaps the guards will come down here and find that you've succumbed to your injuries. I think that would be the best way for this to end. You don't deserve to live, especially after the disrespect you've shown this great Nation and its leader. No one will ask many questions of course. They'll forget about your insignificant existence, just like your pitiful waterbending culture," he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look right at him, and Katara glared with all the hatred she could muster. "The Emperor should've never kept you alive. I think it's time I right that wrong for him."
Before Katara even knew what was happening, her back was pressed against the cold floor, and Zhao's hands were around her neck, squeezing and squeezing until she couldn't breathe. Her brain went into panic mode as he stared down with an evil, disturbing smile. Katara kicked her feet, but her body was failing her.
Her injuries were too severe. She didn't have the strength or energy to overpower him. Every second that passed was a second she inched closer to the hollow kiss of death. Was this it? Is this how she would finally die? Battered and beaten and murdered by one of the most vile men in the world?
No, no, no, no. It can't end like this. I'm not ready to die.
Do something! Her mind screamed. Fight back! Save yourself! Save yourself, Katara.
Water, any form, any drop of water was all she needed. Anything, anything at all...
An image flashed through her brain just as everything started to blur. Just as the blackness seeped into her vision, so did something else. So did the pool of her own blood—the red liquid just inches from her body.
Katara used every ounce of strength she had left. She called upon the power of the full moon to guide her through this moment. Even if it was the last thing she did, Katara would go out fighting. She'd do one last thing to defy the Fire Nation.
She raised her right hand and then closed her palm into a tight, unrelenting fist.
Admiral Zhao gasped. It was the only way she knew her plan had worked because everything was one big blur. That and his grip on her throat loosening. Breath flooded her lungs, and Katara coughed, rolling over on her side and gripping her chest as it rose and fell rapidly. Alive, I'm still alive.
After several seconds, Katara had regained enough strength to sit up and face what she had done. She slowly turned her head and saw Zhao, laying on his back, his pupils wide and still and void of life. Protruding from the side of his neck was a large crystal made of Katara's own blood.
She killed him.
It was self-defense. He was killing her—choking her to death and leaving her to be discovered by the guards. It was a justifiable act, and she had to do it. In that moment, it was Zhao or her. But, why did Katara feel so horrified by what she had done?
It was her job to save lives, and she had just taken one.
Okay, okay, she could process this later. Right now, she needed to focus on escape because once someone found Zhao, they'd know she killed him. Damn it, how could she even get out of here? She could barely walk. Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could figure this out, there's no going back now.
"Agni..." Oh great.
A guard stood at the door, his eyes wide as he stared at the gruesome scene before him. He was shocked, frozen in place as he looked from Katara to the dead Admiral, unsure of what to do.
His hands balled into fists, steam radiating from them, "Murderer...You'll pay for this—!"
As Katara prepared herself for fireballs to be launched at her head, she was surprised when none came.
The tip of a blade was suddenly poking out of the guard's chest. It retracted, and the firebender crumpled to the floor.
Katara's eyes rose until she stared into a familiar blue mask. A figure cloaked in black and armed with dao swords.
"Zuko...?" She said, her head swaying.
He offered her his hand, and she reached for him, but the blackness found her again.
And this time, it swallowed her whole.
Notes:
Well....it's been absolutely forever, and so much has happened in my life including taking a giant break from writing due to many changes and grad school and everything just being too busy all the time. But this story has persisted in my brain. I've been wanting to come back to it for months and months, but couldn't find the energy or the time. This chapter is pretty short, but since it's been such a long time, I wanted to give you guys at least something to read, so I split the chapter into two parts. I'm not going to give a timeframe on updates right now just because of life being life, however, I will say that this story is a work in progress and I haven't given up on it. i appreciate anyone who has stuck around and wants to continue this journey with me. pleas eleave your thoughts in the comments. <3 :)
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