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If you haven't checked out FatedtoFall27 on AO3 or @HannibalsTie on Twitter/Tumblr, they're an amazing artist and writer, and this fic would not have happened had I not seen THE CUTEST FUCKING SPACEDOGS PAINTINGS and been inspired to write a cracked out meet-cute.
Adam tugged at the sleeve of his spacesuit. Beth had told him wearing the gloves was impractical and now the metal couplings of the sleeves pressed into his wrists annoyingly whenever he moved to tap on his thighs. He’d argued that a spacesuit without gloves wasn’t airtight and silly, but Beth had begged him not to be weird at her friend’s Halloween party.
Adam had spent most of his life trying not to be weird.
He learned how to keep his ticks small, unobtrusive, stimming subtly on his thighs or rolling the tips of his fingers over his thumb. He used to blink when he felt overwhelmed, but a boy in 8th grade had called him Blinky and the name had replaced “Raki the Retard” until he skipped the 9th grade. His dad and Harlan practiced social interactions with him, helping him refine his responses. Now, Adam wasn’t weird…at least not at first.
Sure, he was filled with anxiety, trying to remember to blink normally, to keep his breathing controlled, to keep his stimming from eye level — but he could get through the day, most days, without anyone calling him weird. He’d even looked up the practice, something other people on the spectrum called masking, and found some interesting YouTube tutorials on how to blend in with neurotypical people. Now, he was “quirky” or “particular” depending on how his boss was feeling about his latest deadline.
He’d even gotten himself a girlfriend.
But it seemed like the longer he was with Beth, the weirder he became. Little things irritated her now. At first, she hadn’t minded rehearsing with him to ask his boss for a raise, but by the fifth time she’d snapped and told him he’d gotten the gist, even though he still had a list of scenarios he wanted to run through. She also told him the tapping on his thighs was irritating, and that “the weird finger thing” was distracting. She’d even put her pictures over his pornography and asked him to limit what and when he watched.
Beth seemed to think that taking away his coping mechanisms was bettering him, but Adam had his doubts. He had never liked parties, but now, in a room filled with strangers that smelled overwhelmingly of candles and salty foods, it was hard to ignore the cold clench of anxiety in his chest. He focused very hard on breathing normally, which was how he managed to miss Beth’s friend Ryan asking about his costume.
“Adam? ADAM!”
“Yes?”
Beth frowned at him, adjusting her cat ear headband. “Ryan asked if you rented the suit.”
“No, I own it. It’s an exact replica of-”
“You just have that in your closet? Do you wear it every Halloween?”
Something in Ryan’s expression had changed and that made the frown on Beth’s face deepen. Adam knew something was wrong, but not what…which only served to make the tightness in his chest constrict further. He reached to tap on his thigh, but stopped, flexing his fingers when Beth shook her head. “I wear it at home sometimes. I wore it the night I met Beth. I was trying to clean her windows-”
Ryan’s eyebrows lifted. “Oh, so you play dress up? Beth, you didn’t tell me you were kinky.”
“Shut up, Ryan.” Beth wheeled on Adam, face contorted. “What are you doing?”
“I was just answering.”
“Well, don’t.”
“You said you wanted me to talk more.”
Beth sighed. “I know, Adam.”
“Can we go home, now?”
“Adam-”
“You said 20 minutes tops, it’s been 45.”
“Can you just…let me see my friends?”
“I can call a cab.”
“No! They’ll see you leave without me.” Beth gestured to the food. “Just go have something to eat, I’ll come get you.”
“But I don’t like the food.”
“Adam…please,” Beth rubbed at her eyes, smudging her makeup. “Can you just pretend to be normal for one night?”
Adam frowned. “I thought I was.”
“Please, just go find something to eat.” Beth walked away and Adam was left in the middle of a strange loft, next to the candles that were making his nose twitch. He glanced over at the food. He didn’t like buffet food, too many people could put their hands on things and spread germs. Besides, none of the food smelled appealing. He thought about the bowl of M&Ms but changed his mind when he saw a man in a Hannibal Lecter mask lick his fingers before reaching in to grab a few.
He retreated to a quiet corner by the windowed wall that overlooked the city, careful to keep his steps measured and not shuffle like a weirdo. There was too much light pollution to see the stars, but the scent of the food and the candles were less here. He pressed his hand against the cool glass, letting the pads of his fingers tap softly against it.
Sinking further against the wall, Adam found himself sandwiched between a window and a plant, the leaves obscuring most of the party. If he stayed very still and focused on his breathing, he could probably make it through the party, cloaked by waxy leaves with the city rushing by below him.
“Are you hiding from anyone in particular?” The plant asked.
Adam started, turning to regard the plant. A pair of whiskey-colored eyes watched him through the foliage. Adam was reminded of a tiger, emerging from the jungle on a hunt. He looked at his feet. “I’m not hiding, I’m just…not good at parties.”
“Shame.” The man rounded the plant and was suddenly leaning against the wall right next to Adam. He was dressed in a dog-printed t-shirt and black pants, Adam wondered what his costume was. Maybe a cartoon character? Some sort of child?
Oddly, Adam didn’t feel boxed in, his nose filling with the man’s cologne mixed with a hint of smoke and not the dreadful floral candle scent. The man reached out, a large hand with strong veins running along his chest. “Didn’t cover that in cosmonaut training?”
“No. Why would that be part of the space program?”
The man smiled. “You make this getup?”
“No. It’s an exact replica of the mission suit worn on the Apollo 11 mission.”
That earned a cock of the head, but that toothy smile stayed in place. “Should I call you Neil or Buzz?”
“My name is Adam Raki.”
“Ah, even better, I’d hate to think I’d have to moan out Buzz later.”
Adam turned sharply. As a rule, he didn’t like meeting people’s eyes, but he stared at the man before him, sure he’d missed something as he had with Ryan. “What?”
“Nothing, just a good name is all. Adam Raki. Adam Raki,” The man rolled it around in his mouth like he was tasting it. “Good, solid name. Not too many syllables, nothing hard to pronounce. It’s a good name.”
“Oh…thank you.” Adam moved his eyes down, studying the tattoo on the man’s neck. Some sort of burlesque dancer that shimmied when he talked. “What’s your name?”
“Nigel.”
“Just Nigel?”
“Yeah, like Madonna.”
Adam frowned. “You don’t have a last name?”
“Not one that doesn’t make me cringe when Americans try to say it.” Nigel smiled. “Maybe I’ll go by Raki one day, make things simpler.”
Adam cocked his head. “You’re going to take my last name?”
“Not yet, anyway,” Nigel plucked at the plant.
Adam watched the man for a moment, his eyes kept falling on the strong hands that were manhandling the plant. He swallowed. He tried to remember the party protocols he and his dad had worked on. “What’s your costume?”
Nigel looked at himself and snorted. Adam froze. Was it obvious? Was it some sort of popular character he didn’t know? Beth had been annoyed when he hadn’t wanted to go to the party as characters from a show she watched. “I, uh, I don’t watch a lot of television so I probably don’t know-”
“I’m dressed like a broke Romanian who did his friend a favor by dropping off a booze order to some rich asshole’s party on my way home.”
Adam squinted. “You’re not a guest?”
“No, darling, I’m the help.” Nigel gestured to his shirt. “You think your little friends would have me at their fancy party?”
“They’re not my friends.”
“Is that why you’re hanging around the leaves in your cosmonaut outfit?”
“I was getting overwhelmed. I…I’m not good at parties.” Adam turned his gaze to Beth who was pretending to scratch someone with her kitty claws and laughing. “My girlfriend Beth is. I didn’t want her friends to think I’m weird so I-”
“Hid in the corner?” Nigel glanced over at Beth and her friends. “What makes you so weird, Adam Raki?”
“I’m off-putting.”
Nigel snorted. “The fuck you are. There’s no one here I’d rather be speaking to.”
“Maybe you’re off-putting.”
At that, Nigel laughed, loud and long. Adam froze for a moment, wondering if the man next to him was teasing him, but Nigel didn’t say anything mean, just laughed. The way Nigel’s eyes crinkled and his crooked teeth flashed as he laughed made Adam’s stomach clench. He took a deep breath, the scent of woody cologne and smoke oddly soothing.
“You know, I think I fucking might be.” Nigel wiped his eyes. “My ex-wife thinks so.”
“I-uh…” Adam bit his lip. He wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was. “I don’t find you off-putting.”
“Thank fuck for that.” Nigel leaned back, head lolling on the wall as he flashed that small grin at Adam again. “But you didn’t answer me, gorgeous, why are you so off-putting?”
“I just insulted you.” Nigel waved a dismissive hand at him. “I…don’t like small talk. Social situations make me tense and Beth says I end up looking like a weirdo.”
“A weirdo?” Nigel smiled. “I’ve known some weirdos in my day, Adam Raki, and you-”
“Why do you keep using my full name?”
Nigel brushed his hair back, pointing to a small scar on his forehead. “Traumatic brain injury. I like to repeat important things, make sure I remember them.”
Adam frowned. He reached up but stopped himself just short of touching the little gnarled bit of skin in the middle of Nigel’s forehead. It was rude to touch without asking. Adam curled his fingers into a fist and dropped his hand. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Nigel shrugged his shoulder. “My own fault. Hard way to learn a lesson, but I guess my ex finally found a way to get something through my thick fucking skull.”
“Did she hurt you?”
“Not physically. And I wasn’t exactly a prize fucking husband.” Another shrug. “Can I tell you a secret, Adam Raki?”
“Yes?”
Nigel leaned in, Adam got another lungful of smoke and spicy cologne. “Everyone’s a fucking weirdo.”
“What?”
“Look at this place. Who has a white suede couch? Fucking weirdos.” Nigel nodded to the girl in a Harley Quinn outfit at the far end of the room. “Watch her…see how she’s looking around, checking to see she won’t be watched.”
Nigel’s hand landed solidly in the middle of Adam’s chest, pushing him back behind the leaves as the woman cast a glance their way. Adam was sorry when Nigel released him, but peered around the leaves to watch the woman, who promptly dug her fingers into her ass and plucked at her underwear.
“Bet she smells her fingers.” Nigel wiggled his eyebrows, Adam felt himself smiling.
“What? No. She-” The woman raised her fingers furtively to her nose.
“See,” Nigel’s breath curled into Adam’s ear, making his gut clench. “Fucking weirdos.”
“That’s not…I’m not unhygienic, I’m just weird.”
“How so?”
“I’m on the spectrum.”
Nigel squinted. “The color spectrum?”
“Autism.”
Nigel’s head tilted again. “Like the Dustin Hoffman movie? You can count cards and shit?”
“No, that was a terrible representation of autism. It’s a wide range of neurodivergent behaviors, some people are nonverbal, others don’t understand social interactions, others like repetitive behavior or are sensitive to stimuli.” Adam lifted his chin, just like his father taught him. He wouldn’t flinch when Nigel started laughing.
Nigel pursed his lips together. “Well, you’re certainly verbal. As for the rest, I don’t see anything that makes you particularly odd.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed at this. He was terrible at recognizing when people were making fun of him. “Are you teasing me?”
Nigel’s eyebrows shot up. “No, gorgeous, I’m just telling you I don’t think you’re any weirder than the rest of humanity.”
“I am.” Adam lifted his hands. “I roll my fingers over my thumb constantly to keep my brain focused on that sensation instead of the smell of that candle. I get distracted and don’t answer questions the right way. I can’t tell when someone’s making fun of me. I don’t like odd textures or smells in food, and prefer to eat things I know I like. I feel anxious when I get off schedule and I haven’t eaten on time so now I’m hungry and anxious and there are too many people here and I-”
Adam took a shuddering breath. “And if I don’t work very hard to keep my breathing normal or my reactions small, people start to stare. The worst is when I lose control and I might scream or thrash and then people know, they know something’s wrong, that I’m wrong. They don’t look at me the same after that.”
Nigel looked at him for a moment before walking away. Immediately Adam’s anxiety flared, gripping at his chest with sharpened claws. He’d liked talking to Nigel and he’d ruined it. He’d felt calm, he’d almost forgotten the scent of that candle. What if Nigel told Beth what he said? Would Beth dump him?
Nigel rounded the couch and studied the food table. He picked up a plastic lid and covered several dishes. After, he walked over to the candles, licked his fingers, and pinched each flame out of existence. Finally, he strode into the kitchen, emerging with a few items gripped in his hands.
“I forgot to ask what textures you liked.” Nigel held up several packages. “So, I got a bit of everything. These are butter cookies, this is some sort of squishy protein bar shit, and this is just granola I think.”
Adam selected the butter cookies. He’d had them before. Peeling back the packaging, he selected one and began to nibble. “Thank you.”
“Took two minutes.” Nigel shrugged. “If the crowd still bothers you, I can yell in Romanian, that seems to terrify Americans for some reason.”
Adam smiled, the expression widening when Nigel smiled back. “That won’t be necessary.”
Nigel winked. Adam’s heart thumped painfully. It didn’t feel like anxiety, it felt…wonderful.
“This will help, but it’s still not a proper meal.” Adam chewed. “It’s empty calories. I should have eaten something with nutritional value.”
“Want to leave? Get a proper dinner?”
Adam felt his face flush. A date…with Nigel. But that wasn’t right. Just because he felt something didn’t mean the person he was speaking to did. Nigel was clearly caring and kind, he was probably just offering to help Adam keep on his schedule. Still, the idea of leaving the party, of more Nigel smiles and easy conversation, made his heart thump harder.
Shaking his head slightly, Adam glanced at Nigel, who was watching him intently. “W-uh-what’s the weirdest thing about you?”
“Me? Lots. I fall in love too quickly. I fucking hate the yoga class my best friend drags me to, but I really like the pants and how they support my balls. I like to put pickle juice in my coffee when I need an extra pick-me-up.” Adam knew he pulled a face, because Nigel smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I like kissing someone in the morning, first thing.”
“Before brushing your teeth?”
Nigel was so close now, Adam’s chest was feeling tight again, but this time it wasn’t panic. His blood felt electrified. “There’s something fucking hot about needing someone so much you don’t care about stale breath. It’s base and filthy and just a little sleepy…the intimacy of it is stunning, darling.”
“Oh.” Adam licked his lips.
Nigel leaned back, giving Adam a little more room to breathe. “But I guess the weirdest thing about me is I cry after I come.”
“Why? Is your orgasm unsatisfying?”
Nigel shrugged. “It’s just a thing I do, gorgeous. Sex is great. Coming is great. You know how parties overwhelm you? I guess unloading my balls overwhelms me.”
Adam scrunched his nose. “Every time?”
“Every time.”
“And your partners aren’t upset by that?”
Nigel snorted. “Lately they haven’t been the sort I’d ever see again, so who gives a fuck? But my ex-wife said it was the one redeeming quality that wasn’t my cock.”
Adam bit his lip. “I think that would be upsetting. I’d worry that I’d done something wrong.”
“I’d be happy to give you a demonstration,” Nigel’s lips spread into a smile. “See if I could change your mind.”
Adam ducked his head, panic spiking in his chest. This was wrong. This was…was he flirting with this man at the party? “Are you flirting with me?”
“I am, gorgeous.” Nigel’s voice was soft, a whisper in his ear. The sensation sent a shiver down Adam’s spine. He should be horrified, he should move away and tell Nigel that it was wrong. “If you're not interested in cock, that's fine. But if you are, darling... I've got a good one and I would never leave you by the fucking houseplants at a party.”
He was interested in cock. Had been ever since he’d seen a still in the online store he used to buy his pornography. Adam had ordered the DVD, just to see, and he’d spent three nights in a row masturbating to the bare-chested Viking bending the priest over an altar. He’d asked Beth about anal penetration, and she’d made a face. He hadn’t asked again, but he still remembered how he felt when he saw that heaving tattooed chest.
“I’m with someone.” It sounded weak even to Adam’s ears.
“Someone who left you by the fucking ficus with the purses.” Nigel glanced at Beth and her group of friends. “Someone who hasn’t looked back at you once in an hour.”
“She’s talking.”
“Why isn’t she talking to you?”
“Because I’m awkward at parties, and she j-just-”
“Just doesn’t give a shit about your comfort or feelings.” Nigel fixed Adam with a flat stare. “What a fucking peach you’ve got yourself, Adam Raki.”
“S-she’s n-not that b-bad.” Adam felt himself blink hard, he thought back to the chorus of “Blinky! Blinky!” he endured through 8th grade. “I-I’m not easy to be with.”
A warm hand took his, squeezing softly. “Hey, gorgeous, take a breath for me.”
Nigel began to squeeze his hand rhythmically. Adam realized it was the same tempo as his tapping. He took a breath. Then another. He raised his chin, the air coming a bit easier now. “S-see? I-”
“I think you’re very fucking easy to be with, Adam. We’ve been talking for 45 minutes and I’m having a great fucking time.”
“You don’t know me really. All my schedules, all my preferences…it’s difficult to manage and I’m boring and I’m bad with people and-”
“Can I ask you two questions?” Nigel still had his hand, his thumb rubbing soft circles over Adam’s knuckles.
“That’s already a question.” Adam blinked, shaking his head slightly. He did this when he was nervous, it was irritating.
Nigel huffed. “Three, then.”
“Ok.”
“Do you like your little kitty over there?”
Adam looked up, meeting those tiger eyes. “What?”
“What do you like about her, about spending time with her?” Nigel smirked. “And fucking doesn’t count.”
“She… I…” Adam looked at his hand in Nigel’s. He liked the feeling of the rough fingers in his. “She’s a good person.”
“Like the same television?”
“No.”
“Ah. Same hobbies?”
“No.”
“She go five minutes without trying to improve you?”
“She’s trying to make me less weird.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“It is…it…sometimes you have to make changes so you don’t disturb people or inconvenience them.”
“You’re not a fucking subway system, Adam.” Nigel’s smile fell. “And sometimes, no matter what you try, there’s no saving it.”
Adam closed his eyes. “I don’t want to be Raki the Retard. I want a girlfriend. I want to go to parties and be calm, I want…”
“You’re Adam fucking Raki, and if that’s not enough for some bitch in cat ears, she’s the one with the fucking delay.” Adam felt breath on his neck. He thought of the tattoo on Nigel’s neck and swallowed hard. “Hiding things won’t change who you are, darling.”
“I know,” Adam whispered. He glanced at Nigel, who smiled wide.
“So it seems to me that you and the little litter box need to end things.” Nigel brought their clasped hands to his lips, kissing Adam’s hand. “Besides, there’s an old Romanian saying ‘If a man with a neck tattoo hits on you at a Halloween party, go home with him or you’ll be plagued with bad luck for the rest of your days’.”
Adam knew he should pull away, but he liked the way Nigel’s stubble scratched at his skin. He wondered what it would feel like on his cheek. Still, it was a silly statement…he squinted. “That makes no sense. Who would say that? It’s too specific and it’s absurd. I don’t believe it’s an old Romanian saying.”
Nigel smiled, eyes nearly glowing as he kissed Adam’s hand again. “I’m an old Romanian, and I’m saying it.”
Adam laughed. “You’re teasing me.”
Nigel laughed too, eye-crinkling. “Just a bit, darling.”
“What’s the last question?”
“Hmm?”
“You said you had one more question. What is it?”
“Who have you had more fun with in the last month, me or Miss Kitty?”
Nigel. It was an easy answer. Still…
“It’s wrong. You can’t just leave someone at a party.”
“Tell her you’re done. Tell her you’re leaving. Then we can go wherever you want to go. Doesn’t have to be your place, maybe we start with dinner?”
Adam swallowed. Beth’s friends already looked at him oddly. This would just be another weird, terrible, wrong thing he did.
“I...um...it’s rude to leave without telling her.” Adam frowned. “But I don’t like her friends, they glare at me."
“Want me to let her know?”
“...you would?”
Nigel smirked, squeezing Adam’s hand once before turning to the party. “OY, BRITNEY!”
“Beth,” Adam whispered.
“RIGHT, BETH! CAT GIRL! YEAH, YOU!” Nigel slung an arm around Adam, drawing him near. Adam leaned into him, the solid weight comforting on his shoulders. “You can’t go around leaving valuables unattended, darling, they’ll be stolen.”
Beth blinked. “What?”
“Usually at this kind of thing, I’d take your purse. But it’s a knockoff, and I’d much rather go home with a real treasure.” Nigel patted Adam’s chest. “You enjoy your friends, you’re fucking single now.”
“Wh- Adam?”
Adam waved as Nigel began steering him to the door.
Adam heated up a Tupperware container of broccoli and chicken the moment he got in the door. Nigel wandered around the apartment, picking up models and studying them before putting them back where he found them. When Adam sat down to eat, Nigel materialized by his side, stealing little stalks of broccoli or bits of chicken as Adam ate.
“So, the space thing isn’t just for a costume, is it?”
“I think astronomy is fascinating. I was just reading about the James Webb Space Telescope has found methyl cation in a star system in the Orion Nebula. Methyl cation is one of the compounds that helps form complex carbon-based molecules, so it’s basically a building block of the universe. Seeing it could mean we could study more about how life began on earth and where-” Adam stopped. It was annoying when he turned every conversation to space. No one else cared about molecules in some star system you couldn’t even see from central park.
“You run out of gas?”
“Huh?”
“What the fuck does the meth tell us about?”
“It’s OK, I know that rambling about space is annoying. I do it when I get excited and when I’m nervous.” Adam dragged his fork along the plate. “Beth was helping me learn to stop.”
“Fuck Beth, I like space.”
Adam leveled a glare at Nigel’s nose. “You want to have sex.”
“I can like space and fuck you til you see stars.” Nigel stole another bit of broccoli. “The cosmos is all it is or ever was or ever will be. Our contemplations of the cosmos stir us. There’s a tingling in the spine, a catch in the voice, a faint sensation as if a distant memory of falling from a great height. We know we are approaching the grandest of mysteries…”
Adam dropped his fork. “Carl Sagan.”
Nigel grinned. “My mother used to make me watch the show to help with my English. Got the VHS for my birthday. Still watch ‘em sometimes when I miss her.”
Adam bit his lip. “Some of the science in that series is outdated.”
Nigel shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to teach me the new shit.”
Adam took Nigel’s hand, squeezing it. “Nigel?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I’d like to see if you really cry after orgasming.”
Nigel grinned, pulling Adam into a kiss.
It wasn’t like the Viking and the priest. Adam had expected force and snarling grunts, not soft kisses on his neck and gentle hands along his skin. The drag of Nigel’s stubble against his throat created a tingling sensation that had Adam shivering in Nigel’s grasp.
When Adam had to break away to get out of his spacesuit, Nigel chuckled. He helped Adam with the fastenings, making jokes about astronaut quickies being impossible. Adam laughed. He’d never laughed when he had sex. In fact, he’d never felt so relaxed with a sexual partner. When he corrected Nigel’s assumptions about lube in zero gravity, the man hadn’t snapped or frowned. Nigel had just nodded, a grin growing on his face. By the time they were both naked, Adam realized he hadn’t had the chance to feel awkward or anxious at all.
Nigel had made a soft little noise in the back of his throat, pushing Adam onto the bed and climbing on top. Slotting himself between Adam’s legs, Nigel began rutting slowly, the sensation making Adam clench hard at the muscles on Nigel’s back.
“What do you want, Adam Raki?” That had stopped Adam short. He wasn’t used to options in the bedroom. His dad had always told him to get clear consent, but beyond “are you ready to have sex?” there had never been much discussion between him and his partners.
“Um…” Adam thought again about the Viking, running a hand through Nigel’s chest hair. “I want to experience a prostate orgasm. I’ve heard they’re more intense than other forms of orgasm, but every time I’ve attempted one I’ve had trouble finding the proper spot. I did once with a vibrating dildo, but the sensation was too intense and I didn’t like it. My penis got flaccid and I gave up. I have a porn video where a Viking bends a priest over an altar and he seems to have a prostate orgasm, so if that’s the best position for it I suppose we could use my dresser or-”
Adam trailed off. Nigel was smiling, ducking his head a little as he loomed over him. For one horrible moment, Adam wondered if this was all a joke if Nigel was laughing at him, making fun of the weirdo. But when Nigel looked up, those whiskey-colored eyes were kind. “Why don’t we skip the altars and the dildos tonight, gorgeous? Focus on your prostate.”
“OK, there are condoms and lubricant in the drawer there. I assume you’ve had sex with a man before, so if you have a position that you think would be beneficial…” Adam swallowed hard as Nigel began kissing down his chest, strong hands gripping his hips.
“Adam?”
“Yes?”
“Breathe, darling, I promise you the most complicated part of the night was getting you out of the fucking spacesuit.” Nigel rose, walking to the dresser and retrieving the lube and condoms. Nigel held up the lube, squeezing the purple container of Astroglide. “You do like a theme, don’t you?”
Adam grinned, chest blooming warm when Nigel smiled back. Adam studied the man before him, hands still worrying the bedspread beneath him. Nigel wasn’t quite as burly as the Viking in the video. His body was solid, well-muscled, but he held himself with a sort of grace Adam hadn’t expected. There was an elegance to Nigel, every movement fluid and purposeful. Even as he walked with a half-hard cock back to Adam, there was a fluidity of movement that was almost incongruous with the solid chest peppered with tattoos and scars.
Nigel lay back on the bed, resting the lube by Adam’s hip. He smiled, wide and toothy. “You’re staring.”
“You’re beautiful.” Adam reached up, running his hand over Nigel’s bicep, tracing over another tattoo.
Nigel kissed him. “You’re the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen, gorgeous. I’m gonna make this so good for you.”
Adam distantly heard the click of the bottle but focused on nipping and sucking at Nigel’s lower lip. He groaned when a slick hand wrapped around his cock, pumping him quickly.
“That’s it, darling, let it go. Let me hear you.” Adam let his head fall back, Nigel’s lips latching to his throat as he worked him. When Adam’s moans got more desperate and the familiar coil of pleasure wound his stomach tight, Nigel released him. Slick fingers traced over Adam’s balls, between his thighs, and began stroking over the tight furl of muscle that lay beyond.
Adam tensed immediately. He remembered the vibrator, the way it made his teeth clack. Nigel’s lips pressed just under his ear. “Breathe, darling. Think of your Viking. What did you like about that video? Tell me?”
The fingers continued to stroke, but Nigel made no move to press in. Adam tried to think of the video. “He-he’s handsome. Big muscles and blue eyes. I-uh-I thought he was handsome.”
“Mmmm,” Nigel bit Adam’s earlobe, tugging lightly. “And what did you like about this handsome man, hmm?”
“He held the priest down and just…uh” Adam trembled. Nigel increased the pressure of the fingers circling his hole just a bit. “took him.”
“You like that? You like the idea of being taken?” Nigel panted into his ear. “You want to be held down and fucked?”
“I w-want,” Adam gasped, his legs falling open as his hips began to move, to seek the pressure of Nigel’s touch. “I want to let go.”
“Let go of what?”
“Everything.” Adam trembled. It was true. He couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t had to worry about how he looked, how he was acting, what other people would think.
“Poor sweet boy,” Nigel murmured, nipping along Adam’s jaw. “You spend your whole life trying to control everything, don’t you? How you breathe, how you tap those pretty fingers, how often you blink those beautiful eyes.”
Adam nodded, a tight feeling in his chest.
“You don’t have to do that here, darling. I don’t want a tense man at a party. I want Adam fucking Raki, and all the weird little habits he thinks he has.” Nigel’s finger slipped inside of him and Adam made a guttural little noise. “Right here, with me, all you have to do is feel.”
Adam keened when Nigel started pumping his finger in and out, gently crooking it to rub along his inner walls. There was a spark, something bright and soft blooming in his stomach with every drag of that marvelous finger.
“Do you like that, beautiful boy? Need more?” Adam nodded frantically, his hands clutching blindly at Nigel’s chest. “That’s it darling, absolutely gorgeous.”
The second finger was more of a stretch, but Nigel slowed his movements, rubbing small circles around the spot that shot bright pleasured shivers through Adam’s body. He knew he was moaning openly now, mouth open and eyes screwed shut. But before he could wonder if he looked grotesque, or he was being too loud, Nigel shifted, his free arm slipping beneath him and cradling his head. Soft sucking kisses peppered Adam’s neck and shoulders as his world stretched tight.
“I’ve got you, Adam. Let it happen.” Adam sank into the feeling, letting the electric spark of sensation and the smell of Nigel drag him over the edge. He came with a wail, his whole body clenching and rocking. Nigel kissed him through it, fingers still nudging that magical spot while he made soft soothing little sounds.
His fingers were the first thing to come back online, immediately tapping their little rhythm against Nigel’s chest. Then Adam’s breathing leveled from frantic gasping to deep lungfuls of air. Finally, Adam’s eyes opened, and he stopped short.
Reaching up he traced a hand over Nigel’s high cheek, catching a tear on his finger. “You’re still hard.”
Nigel cocked his head, licking the tear off Adam’s finger. “That’s alright darling, I can fuck my hand while you watch or-”
“No.” Adam shook his head, hand brushing Nigel’s hair from his face. “I thought you only cried when you orgasmed?”
Nigel smiled, leaning into the caresses like a contented cat. “I cry whenever I see something beautiful, darling.”
Adam scrunched his nose. “I wasn’t beautiful. I was noisy and twitchy…I think I drooled.”
The hand cradling Adam’s head tugged on his curls, forcing Adam to meet Nigel’s eyes. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever fucking seen, Adam Raki. And I want to see it again.”
Adam smiled. “I want to clean the ejaculate off my stomach and get a snack, but do you think you can cry again in 30 minutes?”
Nigel grinned, leaning down to bite Adam’s neck just below his ear. “Baby, for you I can cry all night.”