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“Hydra is back.” Director Fury said, his face a stern mask. “That’s why the Avengers also need to come back. The vacation is over.”
Natasha glanced at him. “I think for most of us, it wasn’t really a vacation, Nick.”
“Doesn’t matter. We need to assemble the team.”
Steve and Nat exchanged a look. “And where will we start?”
Fury grinned. “You will start in New York. I’ve heard that Stark has returned from LA. I’ll only step in if it’s indispensable. I’m officially dead, remember?”
Ever since that conversation, Steve felt like his whole life wouldn’t stop turning. Or no, it was before that. Ever since he woke up after being frozen for so many years, his life was a row of life-changing events. First, trying to live with the realization that everyone he’d ever known was dead, except for Peggy, who was an old lady now. Then the Avengers and Loki. Finding out that Bucky wasn’t dead after all and that Hydra had turned him into the Winter Soldier, an assassin whose mind they could control. Hydra’s return, or rather the knowledge that they’d never been truly gone. All of it had messed with his mind.
But it all could have never prepared him for the biggest challenge he yet had to face.
Admitting to himself that he was in love with Tony Stark.
He wasn’t sure when it had started. To be honest, he didn’t like Tony Stark that much back when they first met on the mission to capture Loki. He resembled his father, Howard, whom Steve knew from his past so much, but at the same time, he was a completely different person. And he hadn’t been sure if that was a good thing. Because Tony seemed just as self-obsessed, arrogant and clever as his father. That, mixed with his tendency to do things on his own rather than to consult the team drove Steve crazy immediately.
It had taken all his willpower not to punch the other man in the face, especially considering all the comments and bad jokes he made. Only later, when Loki was defeated and Tony had been willing to sacrifice his life to save New York had Steve realized that maybe, he wasn’t so bad, after all.
It hadn’t been a conscious decision to stay at the Stark Tower (or rather Avengers Tower) for a few more weeks after Thor left with Loki. It rather just… happened. Tony had offered all the Avengers that they could stay some more and except for Thor, who wanted to bring Loki and the Tesseract to Asgard as fast as possible, they’d all accepted the offer. Besides, Steve didn’t really have another place to go anyway after being frozen for so long.
Somehow, it didn’t surprise him that everyone got their own floor. There was so much space in the tower, he’d always asked himself how Tony used all of it. What he didn’t expect, though, was that everyone got rooms that fit their needs perfectly. Steve even got a small library with history books (apparently, Tony knew of his desire to catch up with everything he’d missed) and a gym.
Tony was always busy, having to look after the repairs of the tower, chatting with Bruce in the lab about new inventions they wanted to make or working on something for Stark Industries. However, he always made sure that he also had time for the others. Twice a week, there was a movie night in which all the Avengers (and sometimes Pepper, when she was in New York) got together to watch some stupid action movie. Even if they weren’t realistic at all, Steve had to admit that it was fun.
Tony also visited him in his library sometimes, telling Steve about a few events so he didn’t have to read about all of them. He also made some changes at the Captain America suit, which resulted in it being lighter and much more resistant at the same time. Tony also changed the design, which Steve didn’t mind at all. It looked more modern and he had to admit to himself that he liked wearing something the other man had designed for him.
They didn’t just talk about history or work all the time, though. In the course of the weeks he spent in New York, Steve got to know Tony better. It turned out that he wasn’t like his father at all. Even if he hid it well, he cared for those around him very much. His biggest dream was to make the world a better place, which was why he decided to be Iron Man in the first place. His company, which had produced weapons before, was now a big number in clean energy, something Steve found really fascinating. He also learned that next to spending time in his lab, Tony liked to go to parties (something Steve hated) or work out, preferably outside (Steve offered to join him at that).
When Tony announced that he wanted to search for a place where the Avengers could build a new facility in the future, it felt like the most natural thing in the world that Steve offered to join him. The others weren’t convinced that the Avengers needed a new place, but Steve had to agree with Tony when he said that they couldn’t stay in the middle of New York forever. The tower was practical since it offered some kind of privacy and so much space, but maybe it would be good if they could operate from somewhere outside the city. There, they would be away from prying eyes and maybe, there also wouldn’t be so many reporters anymore every time they stepped outside.
It was easy to admit to himself that soon, Tony became Steve’s best friend. And from the way Tony always relaxed around him, Steve could give in to the hope that the other man felt the same.
One night, after they returned from looking at properties north of the city for the new Avengers facility, Tony even admitted to Steve that sometimes, nightmares were haunting him. About Loki and the Chitauri. About failing in his role as Iron Man. Disappointing all those around him. Not being good enough. It felt like a big honor that Tony decided to tell him about all this, especially considering that they only knew each other for a few months. But maybe Tony felt as safe with Steve as it was the other way around.
In the end, the decision to tell Tony about his own insecurities was easy. He told him stories about all the friends he’d lost during the war and due to time (he didn’t try to mention Tony’s father too often, though, knowing that they didn’t have a good relationship). About how sometimes, he woke up and thought it was still 1945 and it took him some time to realize that the war was over and he was safe. Then the realization that most of his friends were dead hit him, making him feel completely numb, until he realized that still, he wasn’t alone. He had new friends. A new family. People he cared for and who cared for him.
That night, they talked for hours on the rooftop of the Avengers Tower. It felt good to let out all his fears and worries. Ever since coming back, Steve didn’t tell a single soul about all this. And from the way Tony looked, it was the same for him. Something Steve found a little strange, considering that Tony had Pepper. They were a beautiful couple and so in love, sometimes it hurt to look at them together for too long. But when Steve asked why Tony didn’t tell Pepper about all this, the answer wasn’t very satisfying. “She doesn’t get it. Not the way you do.” He’d said. But somehow, Steve felt like this wasn’t all. He didn’t ask any more, sensing that Tony didn’t want to talk about it, but he still thought about it from time to time.
It was one phone call that destroyed the peace they’d found after the events in New York. Apparently, something had happened in Los Angeles and Tony’s presence was required at Stark Industries. Since it was urgent, he had to leave within a day. The other Avengers took that as their cue to leave as well. Natasha and Steve went to Washington, where a mission was waiting for Captain America and Black Widow. Bruce was off somewhere to India again, most probably to continue helping people there. And Clint just left without telling anyone where he was going. Most probably, Natasha knew about his whereabouts, but she didn’t tell anyone about it.
Then the events in his life began to escalate, with the discovery that Bucky wasn’t dead and Hydra had returned. Only when they’d prevented Hydra from using SHIELD’s helicarriers for their own purposes did the news about what happened in LA reach Steve. However, he didn’t have time to think about it too much, getting the task from Fury to call the Avengers back together.
When they arrived at the Stark Tower one evening, there was light on the top floor, telling them that someone was already there. It wasn’t hard to guess who it was. After all, Fury had already told them that Tony was back in New York.
“Welcome back, Captain Rogers, Ms. Romanoff.” JARVIS greeted them once they left the jet. “Mr. Stark is already waiting for you in the living area.”
“Thank you, JARVIS.” Steve replied with a smile. “It’s good to be back.” Only now that he was back in New York did he realize how much he’d missed this place. His small flat in Washington had never felt like home.
Tony was indeed in the living area, sitting on the couch with a glass in his hands. It looked like water, but with Tony, you could never be sure of that. He was wearing jeans and a simple black t-shirt. However, the usual glow of the Arc reactor under the material couldn’t be seen. Steve frowned at this before deciding that most probably, Tony had just found some new material that contained the light better. He knew that the glow had bothered him at times.
“Natasha! Steve!” Tony exclaimed once his eyes fell on them and stood up from the couch, placing the drink on the table in the process. “It’s so good to see you again!”
“I’ve heard you had a few interesting months in LA.” Natasha said when Tony hugged her.
Tony grimaced. “Interesting doesn’t fit.” He turned to Steve then and he noticed the dark rings under Tony’s eyes. When Tony smiled his usual brilliant smile, Steve couldn’t help himself. He closed the distance between them and hugged Tony too. He’d been told that the other man nearly died when his house in Malibu was bombed, but until now, he didn’t realize how much that knowledge had troubled him. Most probably, Steve had just kept it together so long because Fury had told them in the same sentence that Tony was alright. When Steve pulled him closer for the hug, Tony inhaled sharply, but most probably it was just because he was surprised. They’d only hugged once and that was after saying good-bye before Tony had to leave for LA.
When they parted, he thought that he could see a thoughtful expression on Tony’s face, but it was gone too fast and later, Steve wondered if he didn’t just imagine it. “Let’s say the last months have been a nightmare. Exhausting. Life-changing.” Tony shrugged. “I’m open to more suggestions.” He gestured for them to sit down on the couch. “But I’ve heard that you also didn’t have it easy.” His eyes fixed on Steve then and from the look on Tony’s face, he knew that Tony was already well informed about everything that happened.
“So you know about Bucky?” He asked, though it didn’t sound like a question.
Tony nodded, searching at the bar for something to drink for them. In the end, he came back with a bottle of water and some wine. Red, just like Natasha liked it. “I know you don’t drink.” Tony said to Steve while pouring him a glass of water, filling his own after that. When he realized that Tony was really just drinking water, Steve exchanged a surprised look with Natasha, but she looked as clueless as he felt.
If Tony noticed their exchange of glances, he didn’t let it show. He just sat down on the couch again, sighing deeply. “Hydra.” He let it sound like an insult. “It’s incredible that they can still cause so much trouble after all those years.”
“They were never truly gone.” In short words, Steve explained everything that happened to them in the past weeks. He started with Project Insight, Fury’s “death”, the Winter Soldier and Sam Wilson. When he came to the final battle at SHIELD’s headquarters, all Tony did was frown. Especially when he described how Bucky saved his life in the end. His mouth formed a thin line then, making it obvious how unhappy he was about the fact that Steve’s life had depended on someone whose mind was controlled by Hydra.
When he was done with his story, Tony sighed deeply. “Looks like it was a bad idea to let you out of sight.”
“I’ve heard that you also were in some trouble.” Natasha threw in before Steve could even form a reply.
“Nothing that couldn’t be solved.” Tony shrugged nonchalantly, but there was something in his eyes that told Steve he wasn’t as relaxed as he acted.
“So you and Pepper didn’t nearly die?” She raised her eyebrows at him.
Tony ran a hand through his hair, something he often did when he was nervous. “We did. But it all worked out in the end. I’m fine. She’ll be fine. I’ve extracted the Extremis from her blood, so there will be no lasting damage.”
“Extremis?” Steve felt like he was missing something here.
Tony sighed and told them the story about the Mandarin and Aldrich Killian, who had nearly killed Happy, destroyed his home and kidnapped Pepper. They also planned to attack the President, which Tony and Rhodey prevented. However, he only mentioned that in half a sentence, too focused on the other events.
“Happy will be alright?” Steve had listened to Tony’s tale in silence, not sure if he could trust what he heard. It was too absurd. Especially Tony giving his address to a terrorist.
“He’s already better.” Tony confirmed with a nod.
“And Pepper is still in LA?” Natasha added.
“She’s fine again. Already back to running errands for SI.” This time, Steve was sure that he didn’t imagine the flash of unease on Tony’s face when Pepper was mentioned.
“Are you two alright after everything that happened?” He regretted the question as soon as Tony’s expression turned blank.
“We’re fine. Still a little shaken, maybe, but I think that’s nothing to be surprised about.” The smile on Tony’s lips was obviously fake. He took another sip of his water and, as if he wasn’t really thinking about it, placed a hand on his chest right over the arc reactor. And he scratched himself there.
Steve stared at him, just like Natasha. “Tony, what…?”
For a few moments, Tony frowned at them in confusion. When he followed their eyes, however, he chuckled. “Oh, yeah, that. I forgot to mention it. I’ve gotten rid of that old thing.”
“You…?” He knew that he probably stared at Tony with his mouth open, but he didn’t care. “Your life depends on it.”
“It depended on it.” Tony corrected him, his voice surprisingly soft. “Past tense. It’s all gone. The shrapnel shards, the reactor, everything. I’m already working on the new technology for the suits, I think it’s going to be brilliant. Now the energy from the reactor can be used differently, considering that it doesn’t have to keep me alive at the same time.”
“Wait, hold on a second.” Natasha interrupted him. “You just mentioned that you had the shards removed. Like, in a life threatening surgery. And you decided not to tell anyone about it beforehand?”
“I think you were busy elsewhere.” Tony replied simply. “And it wasn’t that dangerous.”
“If it wouldn’t have been that dangerous, you’d have them removed years ago.” Steve threw in. “You risked your life for… for what exactly?”
Tony sighed. “I think we all knew that I couldn’t have lived like that forever. It was always hanging over me like a dark cloud. After what happened in Malibu, I decided that it was time for a new start. No loose ends.”
For some time, both Steve and Natasha looked at Tony, unable to say anything to that. In the end, it was Steve who cleared his throat. “So that’s why you’re drinking water?”
“It’s all healed and I’m not on pain meds anymore, but better safe than sorry.” Tony explained with a rueful smile. “Though I have to admit that it’s tempting at times.”
“You were drinking too much anyway.” Natasha said simply. “It’s good for you.”
“I hate it when you’re right.” Tony groaned, closing his eyes. “It’s still strange, being without it. It was like some part of me.”
“It nearly killed you that one time.” Nat reminded him. “Remember the palladium poisoning?” Steve had heard stories about that and every time he thought of it, he still felt sick.
Tony seemed to remember it too well. He grimaced. “We don’t talk about that anymore!”
“It’s good that you don’t depend on it anymore.” Steve’s voice was soft when he said it. “I bet Pepper is happy about it as well.”
Again, the flash of uneasiness on his face. Tony nodded. “She is.” He cleared his throat when he realized how hoarse his voice sounded. “Maybe we should all go to bed now. It’s late and tomorrow morning, we’ll expect Clint and Bruce here. Thor should also show up within the next days, I’ve talked to Dr. Selvig today and he’ll contact him.”
“Seems like Fury couldn’t hide from you that he’s still alive.” Steve noted with a grin.
“Not for a second.” Tony returned his smile. “Once we’re complete, we can start to plan our move against Hydra. JARVIS is already tracking their bases.”
“You really thought of everything.” He shook his head in amazement.
Tony shrugged simply. “Someone has to.”
Only later that night, when he was lying in bed did Steve allow himself to think of the conversation again. Of how his heart had been racing when Tony told his story about how he nearly died several times. He wasn’t sure what he’d done if he’d lost Tony without even knowing it. Because one thing was for sure. The way he wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let him go again was nothing friends did. And did he just imagine it, or had Tony looked uneasy every time Pepper was mentioned?
Something happened between them, Steve thought to himself. Most probably, it was also the reason why he left LA so shortly after everything that happened. He wondered what it could be. To him, Tony and Pepper had always seemed like such a happy couple. Or did everything that happened change something between them? All this danger she was in simply because she loved him?
Steve tried not to think of that too much. Because he knew that he should feel sorry for Tony if something happened between him and Pepper. But a small part of him knew that he’d feel relieved if there was indeed something going on. Then, he wouldn’t have to feel guilty for all the emotions he felt every time he looked at Tony Stark. Emotions that were harder to suppress with each time they met.
The next morning, Clint and Bruce showed up together, just like Tony had predicted. Apparently, they’d met somewhere close to New York and drove the last miles together. Bruce had indeed been first in India and then in Europe for some time, helping people and spending some time working on new scientific projects. Clint, however, didn’t tell them where he was except that he’d run a few errands for SHIELD over time.
“I can’t complain about boredom.” He said in the end, smiling. “But it’s also good to be back again.”
“It is.” Bruce agreed, nodding thoughtfully. “Finally, I’m back somewhere I can fully relax.”
“You know that you’ll have to let the other guy out again once we’re moving against Hydra, don’t you?” Natasha quirked an eyebrow at that.
He nodded reluctantly. “But it’s good to be back anyway.” Then he began to engage Tony in a conversation about the new suit he was building and off they were to the lab. First, Steve considered following them, but he knew that he’d just look like a lost puppy. The discussion already began with talk about nano materials and he knew that he could never say anything to that.
So he remained with Clint and Natasha to spend some time with them. Unfortunately, it got obvious that they wanted some time for themselves soon. Not knowing what else to do, Steve excused himself and made his way to the library. It always calmed him to be there, knowing that Tony had designed the room for him.
When he thought of Tony, he tried not to feel jealous, knowing that he was having amazing discussions with Bruce about many things Steve didn’t even understand. It didn’t work that well, making him want to hit something in frustration. It wasn’t like he had any claim on Tony. He was in a relationship, after all! And Bruce was interested in Natasha, everyone with eyes could see that. So there was no way that he and Tony… And did Tony even like men? Yes, there were rumours, but most probably, it was just that. Stories. He knew that before Pepper, he’d also always been with women.
All those thoughts were nagging on his mind when he found a book lying on the small table next to his favourite armchair. He knew that he didn’t leave it there when he left many months ago. A closer look also told him that it wasn’t his. It wasn’t even a real book.
It was a sketchbook, bound in the most beautiful cover he’d ever seen. It was dark red, with a silver and blue pattern all over, resembling flowers and small stars. Steve had to swallow when he realized that those were the colours of his new suit. He ran his hand over the material carefully, not surprised at all when he found that it was an expensive leather. Only now did he notice that there was another small pencil case on the table.
“How do you even know I like to draw…?” He asked into the silence surrounding him, reaching for one of the pencils. Also of good quality. It was so much like Tony, he had to chuckle at this. He’d never told anyone about his secret hobby. And ever since waking up from his sleep, he didn’t have much time to draw anyway. That Tony got him this now…
He didn’t even have to think about it for long. It felt like now that he had the paper in front of him and the pencil was in his hand, it moved on its own accord. The sound of the pencil on the paper had a calming effect and soon, Steve was completely lost in his work. He didn’t think about what he wanted to draw for long, he just let his instincts guide him. It felt good to do this again and only now did he realize how much he’d missed this. Just sitting there in silence and creating something new. Something that only belonged to him. Slowly, all the stress from the past months began to fade. The feeling of being on the run for so long. His fear, first for Bucky and in the end also for Tony. The restlessness because he’d been parted from Tony for too long.
He only paused when he noticed that he was drawing a suit. Not just any suit, but the Iron Man suit, like back when he’d first seen him.
He’d always known that Iron Man had left a lasting impression on him, but now he saw how true it was. Tony had changed the design of the suit ever since, but Steve could still draw the version he’d first seen with surprising accuracy.
“Do you like it?” The voice spoke soft, but it didn’t stop Steve from flinching violently, the pencil falling from his hand and landing on the soft carpet soundlessly. He’d been so lost in thought that he didn’t hear anyone approaching.
When he looked up, he saw that Tony was leaning in the doorway, a thoughtful look on his face. For a brief moment, Steve wondered how long the other man had been watching him. But then Tony’s eyes flickered to the paper on his lap and he forgot all thoughts about that. He closed the book quickly, already wanting to reach for the pencil on the ground, but Tony was faster. Their hands touched when they both moved to grab it and Steve drew back quickly.
“It’s wonderful.” He whispered when Tony handed him the pen, his eyes narrowed slightly now. “How did you even know that I like to draw? I’ve never told anyone about it.”
“I’m very attentive.” Tony said with a smile. “The few times we were in the city together, you couldn’t stop watching all kinds of drawings and paintings in shop windows or on the streets. It got me thinking. Because surely, you did something next to being Captain America. It couldn’t have taken all your time. Even you needed something to relax. In the end, my father gave me the final hint. Or one of his diaries, to be more exact.” Suddenly, the expression on Tony’s face changed and it looked like he was far away with his mind. “We were clearing out the old stuff in LA when we found a box with those old notes and books from my dad. I didn’t have the desire to read them, knowing that I’d probably not like the things he wrote. But when I looked through the box, something fell out of a small book. A diary, back from 1945. It was a drawing and it looked so much like my father that it was nearly scary. He was working on a shield, completely focused on his work. Like he always was.” Suddenly, Tony’s eyes narrowed at him and Steve knew that he was back in the present. “It was your work.”
Steve nodded, suddenly remembering that day very well. It had been a few weeks before Bucky’s “death”, the painting of the shield had faded after being out in the field for some time and Howard had been determined to fix it. While the Vibranium couldn’t get destroyed, the coating with the colour could (something Tony had fixed now). Since all the others were busy somewhere, Steve had some time for himself. So he did the only thing he could at that moment. He grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and began to draw. Howard had been impressed by his work, even if he thought that it hadn’t been good. To his surprise, his friend wanted to keep it. The knowledge that the drawing still existed and that Tony had it now made him feel strange.
“I thought it wasn’t very good.” He muttered. “Your father thought otherwise.”
“It looked like he’d had it in his hands so many times, I’m impressed that the paper is still intact.” Tony shook his head slowly. There was a slight smile on his lips, but Steve couldn’t make out the look in his eyes. It was always like that when Howard was mentioned. “Why the suit?”
“Excuse me?” He asked, the sudden change of topic catching him off guard.
Tony nodded at the sketchbook. “You get this whole new book and the first thing you draw is the Iron Man suit.”
He shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat up. “It just came to my mind. When I draw, I don’t really think about it. It’s like my hands move on their own.”
“I know that feeling.” This time, the smile on Tony’s lips looked real. “It’s like that when I’m in the lab.” He was silent for a few moments. “I’m glad you like the book. I wasn’t sure if you’d appreciate it at first.”
“Tony, I love it!” He exclaimed, not able to hold himself back. He knew that he was smiling like a fool, but he didn’t care. “No one ever got me something like this! I can’t even thank you enough.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Tony said seriously. “I wanted to get you something.”
“You already got me too much. All those books, the gym, everything in here. And now this…” Steve shook his head. “You didn’t have to do it.”
“I wanted it.” He repeated again. “So stop saying you don’t deserve it, Steve. Because you do.”
“Why are you even here?” He asked, suddenly remembering that Tony had been busy elsewhere. “You were in the lab with Bruce.”
“He wandered off to find Natasha.” Tony grinned. “Couldn’t stay away from her for too long, I suppose.”
“So you came here to find me?”
A nod. “I knew that by now, you had probably found the sketchbook.”
“So what’s the plan now? Will we start to have a look at Hydra’s bases or are we waiting for Thor?”
When Tony laughed, he thought that it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. “Not so fast! I think we all need a few days to relax.”
“But Hydra -“
“Will still plan to overtake the world in a few days.” Tony interrupted him sternly. “You need to calm down, Steve. We all do.”
Until now, he’d been so distracted by their conversation that he didn’t take the time to look at Tony more closely. The dark rings under his eyes were still there, but less prominent than the previous day. Even if he still looked tired. His hair was a mess, probably from running a hand through it far too many times in the lab, and there was something black on his collar, looking like grease. “You’re right. You look tired, Tony.”
“I’m fine. I’ve just been working a little too long those past days.”
“You working too long and you being exhausted are two different things.” Steve pointed out. “I know which one I see in front of me right now.”
Tony sighed. “There’s nothing I can hide from you.”
“What happened?” He asked, knowing that maybe Tony would tell him something now that they were alone. “Are the events of the past months still troubling you?” He knew how hard everything must have been.
“It’s not that.” A hesitant expression appeared on Tony’s face. “It’s just…” With another sigh, he sat down in the second armchair next to Steve’s. It was like all the tension left him then, making it obvious just how tired Tony must be.
“You know you can tell me everything.” Steve said quietly. “I’ll keep it to myself.”
“It’s Pepper. She… we ended things.” Tony said the words slowly, as if it wasn’t easy for him. Which it probably wasn’t.
Steve could only stare at him. Even if the thought had crossed his mind, he didn’t think that it would ever come true. “You… I’m so sorry, Tony!” It was true, he hated it that Tony had been hurt.
“It’s fine.” Even if he still looked tired, Tony smiled slightly. “I’ll get over it.”
“You’re really alright? You two were always so close.” He frowned, concern overtaking all his other feelings in this moment.
“It wasn’t easy. But we want different things, so it’s good the way it is.”
“Did she break up with you before or after the surgery?” At this question, an emotion Steve couldn’t quite place appeared on Tony’s face, but it was gone so fast that he wasn’t sure if he just imagined it.
“Before the surgery.” Tony’s voice was quiet. “But Steve…”
“That you even did it after that…” He shook his head in amazement. “You’re so strong, Tony.”
“Please don’t tell the others about it. Not yet.” He’d never heard Tony Stark plead for anything before.
He nodded seriously. “I promise.”
Tony smiled again and leaned forward. “Thank you, Steve. Now tell me, do you want to talk about those history books some more or do you want to continue drawing and I’ll just sit here and watch?”
This made him stare at Tony. “Why would you want to do that?”
The genius chuckled. “You spent hours in the lab, just watching me work.”
“Because it’s fascinating!” He protested. “While it’s only boring when I’m making sketches.”
Tony shook his head. “I like watching you work. You get this concentrated look on your face then, it’s quite adorable.”
“Adorable?” He raised his eyebrows skeptically, even if his heart skipped a beat.
“Interesting, then.” Tony corrected himself and did he just imagine it, or were his cheeks a little red? “We could also go outside, but I’m not sure if we’re both in the mood for that. The work on the new Avengers Compound has begun, though. I could show you that soon.”
“Avengers Compound?”
“Every facility needs a name. This is the Avengers Tower. The new one will be the Compound. Or do you have a better idea?” This time, Tony quirked an eyebrow.
“No! I mean, I like that name, to be honest. I was just surprised. Did you choose it?”
Tony nodded. “Spent days thinking about it, wondering if you’d like the name. I’m glad you do.”
“It’s amazing. When did they start to work on the new building?”
“A few weeks ago. Soon after I finished the plans.”
“You did that all on your own?” He was impressed that during that chaos in his life, Tony even had time for that.
“I had lots of time in the hospital.” Tony shrugged. “But it’s not all finished. Maybe you have more ideas, especially for the living quarters.”
“Of course you only designed the lab.” He muttered, rolling his eyes.
“And the training area. The storerooms as well.” Tony grinned. “Do you want to see the plans?”
“Show me.” When Tony jumped to his feet, suddenly full of energy again, Steve had to smile.
“They’re in the lab. Come on, Steve!”
With a laugh, he followed Tony through the building.
Thor showed up four days after Steve and the others arrived in New York. By then, Tony had already shown them the plans for the new Avengers Compound, they’d visited the area north of New York and they spent hours just talking or doing nothing at all. It were a few very relaxed days and Steve enjoyed them very much.
Most probably, it was due to the fact that he nearly spent all his time with Tony. At first, he’d been surprised that the other man wasn’t always busy in the lab, but soon, he didn’t question it anymore. He enjoyed being with Tony far too much for that. Maybe the breakup with Pepper was still weighing heavily on him, making him search for some company. But why wouldn’t he be in the lab with Bruce then?
Steve watched Tony work on the Iron Man suit a few times in those days, but Tony never stayed in the lab too long or got lost in work. It was quite unusual for him. However, he didn’t ask about it, knowing that it might just make the other man feel uncomfortable. So he just sat in the lab and watched Tony work, or made a few sketches of him (of course without Tony knowing that Steve was drawing him).
When Thor finally joined them, it felt like the peace surrounding them was quickly disappearing again. Because then, the Avengers started to make plans. By now, the list of Hydra facilities was surprisingly long and they also knew a few things about some members. Apparently, they’d infiltrated SHIELD many years ago and ever since, they’d made their plans within the organization. There was especially one thing that bothered them. After the events with Loki, it had been SHIELD agents who took the scepter. And it seemed like it had disappeared now.
Thor emphasized that getting it back had the highest priority, even if they all didn’t understand why. Yes, the weapon was dangerous, but surely not more than others Hydra had developed over the years. There, Steve also thought of Bucky again. He was also still running free somewhere.
In the end, they decided to deal with the facilities in a certain order, starting with the ones where they thought it most likely for Hydra to keep the scepter. If Thor said that getting it back was important, they didn’t doubt this decision.
In between dealing with Hydra facilities, the Avengers also kept practicing. Natasha and Bruce developed a method to put the Hulk to sleep, making it possible for Bruce to turn back into himself. It didn’t always work, but most of the times, this method was surprisingly successful. Tony also kept building new equipment for most of them. Clint got new arrows, Natasha a lighter suit and Steve gauntlets which could help him to call the shield back to him. It was very helpful in battle.
Even if moving against Hydra wasn’t fun and they sometimes came back injured, the team was stronger than ever. Steve had also noticed it after the battle with Loki, but now it was even more obvious that they’d all become friends. In between all the training and fights, they had much fun together.
One day, after they’d just returned from South America where they’d just discovered an empty building that Hydra seemed to have left months ago, Natasha pulled Steve aside.
“What’s going on between you and Tony?” She asked, not sounding curious but rather demanding.
He looked at her in surprise. “Why should something be going on?”
“You spend all your free time together. I’ve also noticed the way you look at him. Not to mention how he looks at you when he thinks no one notices.” As usual, there was nothing this woman didn’t notice.
“He isn’t looking at me.” Steve protested automatically. “He’s still heartbroken over Pepper.”
“Is he?” She didn’t look very convinced. A few weeks after they started to move against Hydra, Tony had finally told the team about his breakup with Pepper. But only after the others had asked about her several times. “I’ve talked to both of them and to me, they seemed to be fine with it. Apparently, things haven’t been good for a while.”
“He can’t… I mean, he doesn’t even like men. And it would never work between us.” He wasn’t sure whom he wanted to convince.
“You’re working together quite well. You also should stop questioning Tony’s sexuality, we both know that he likes both women and men.” Natasha crossed her arms. “You like him.”
Steve knew that there was no point in denying it. Not in front of Natasha. “I do.” He whispered.
“Talk to him about it.” She urged him. “You’re both obviously into each other.”
“Like you talk with Bruce about your feelings?” The question was out before he could really think about it. When Natasha’s eyes narrowed, he knew he’d crossed a line.
“My relationship with Bruce is none of your business.” She pointed out.
“Couldn’t I say the same?” He raised his eyebrows.
“It’s all our business when you keep looking at each other like lovesick puppies behind each other’s backs.”
“We’re not doing that.” And there was no way that Tony could like him like that. He was far too good for Steve.
“You are.” Natasha said simply. “He might have been sad because Pepper broke up with him, but he’s over it now. He’s moving on. Maybe you should do that together.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned around and left Steve alone with his thoughts.
“It really wasn’t necessary to throw the hammer that hard.” Tony said for the fifth time, touching the bruised skin on his arm while looking at Thor reproachfully.
“I didn’t know that the tower would just collapse!” Thor replied through gritted teeth. “I miscalculated things. Your buildings are much weaker than the ones we have on Asgard.”
“You could have killed Tony.” This time, it was Bruce who spoke. “A few seconds more and he wouldn’t just have been hit by a few stones.”
“Maybe we should all calm down.” Clint said. “It was an accident and we’re all fine. No one died.”
“Except for ten Hydra members, give or take.” Natasha sounded thoughtful.
Steve only listened to the conversation quietly, his eyes fixed on Tony. After the incident with the tower, in which Iron Man had been buried under a pile of stones, he couldn’t let the other man out of sight. Yes, Tony was fine except for many bruises covering his whole body, but he was worried anyway. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been this scared. Well, maybe except for the time Tony took a nuke into space.
“Stop looking at me like that.” Tony muttered suddenly, while the others began to argue about collapsing towers and a certain hammer again. “I’m not going to die.”
“But you were hurt.” He argued softly.
“Which is part of the job. Remember that time the Hydra agent wanted to stab you?” He smiled slightly.
“The knife couldn’t even cut the suit. It’s something completely different.” He had to control the anger he felt ever since they were on the jet back to New York.
“Thor didn’t mean to make the tower collapse while I was still around.” Tony said. “It’s fine.”
“You’re in pain.”
To his surprise, Tony just chuckled. “I’ve lived through worse. But if it makes you feel better, we can take things slow in the next days.”
“There’s no way we’ll move out until you’re well again. And we need to continue working on strategies.” Steve’s voice was full of determination.
“Even more training, how wonderful.” Clint said loudly. Even if his voice sounded annoyed, he was smiling.
“I’ll have it under control next time.” Thor promised with a glance at Steve. Maybe the other man noticed the anger he tried to hide from the team.
“I think we should order pizza.” Tony said suddenly. “That makes everything better again. We could also watch a movie. How does that sound?” While the others agreed quickly, Steve could just hold back a sigh.
Once they arrived back at the Avengers Tower, another surprise was waiting for them in the form of Pepper Potts and Happy Hogan. “Oh how wonderful.” Tony muttered and Steve was convinced he was the only one who heard his words since they walked into the living area right next to each other.
“Pepper, Happy! What a surprise to see you here!” Tony exclaimed louder and for everyone to hear. “I didn’t even know you’d be coming!” The genius smiled now, but Steve could see that it was probably fake. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the fact that he was still in pain or because of Pepper’s presence.
“You didn’t get the message?” Pepper asked before shaking her head. “Of course you didn’t. But what happened, Tony, you look…” She hesitated, obviously searching for the right words.
“Horrible.” Happy finished her sentence without hesitation, earning an angry stare from her. He shrugged. “What? It’s true. You look like someone tried to kill you again.”
“It was an accident.” Tony replied immediately. “Nothing serious, just a few bruises.”
“A tower collapsed and he was right in front of it.” Thor explained and opened his mouth to tell the tale, but one look from Tony and Steve made him fall silent again.
“I’m fine.” Tony said simply. “What brings you to New York?”
“We have a meeting for Stark Industries here tomorrow.” Pepper sighed. “Don’t tell me you forgot it. Tony, it’s important!”
The way Tony looked at her, it was clear that he’d indeed forgotten about it. “What is it about?”
“The new reactor you wanted to build.” Pepper frowned and Steve couldn’t tell if she was annoyed or concerned. Most probably both. “They want to see the plans. You said that you could produce enough energy for the whole city, not just this tower.”
“Does this meeting really have to be tomorrow?” Tony nearly groaned. “We’re a little busy, as you can see.” He pointed at the other Avengers, most of them still in their armour and covered in dirt from the collapse of the tower.
“It will only be a few hours.” Pepper crossed her arms. “You promised that you’d do this with me.”
“I didn’t even start making any plans.” Tony said with a sigh. “But fine, we’ll manage it.” The way Tony had tensed during his conversation with Pepper made Steve feel the sudden urge to tell her to go away. “If you’ll excuse me now? I’d like to change clothes before our pizza arrives. And no, we didn’t order for you too. Because we didn’t even know you’d be coming.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned around. Only when he was already standing in front of the elevator did Tony look over his shoulder again. “Good to see you again, Happy.” Then he was gone, leaving the others alone in awkward silence.
“He had a long day.” Steve said lamely, knowing that it wasn’t an excuse for what just happened. “We all had.”
Pepper’s eyes focused on Steve. “You don’t have to make excuses for him.” To his surprise, she didn’t sound annoyed. Only tired. “I know what he’s like when something bothers him. He hates those meetings.” A short hesitation followed. “I can’t blame him.”
“You could stay with us for dinner.” Natasha suggested. “He’ll come around.”
“No, he won’t.” Pepper smiled, even if it looked a little tense. “We already had something, by the way. So thank you. We only arrived from LA about an hour ago, I think it’s best if we’ll just go to bed.” When her eyes narrowed at Happy, he muttered something in agreement. Then they both turned to the elevator and were gone as well.
For a few moments, Steve and the others stood there in silence. In the end, it was Bruce who cleared his throat. “Seems like they’re not really on speaking terms.”
“No, they aren’t.” Steve agreed and ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe we should all change into something comfortable and wait for our pizza?”
When the others only nodded, they made their way to their quarters. Steve decided that he needed a quick shower, considering the dust from the tower collapse was literally everywhere. While he stood under the hot water and his muscles finally relaxed, he thought of the events of the day again. Their move against Hydra. The collapse of the tower, burying Tony under the stones. Now Pepper’s arrival. If he felt overwhelmed already, how must Tony feel?
After putting on jeans and his favourite white t-shirt, he went back to the living area of the tower. The pizza was there, but Tony was missing. Steve decided that it was best to see if he was alright since it was unusual for Tony to not have shown up by now. When he announced that he was going to find him, he could feel all eyes on him, especially the burning gaze of Natasha.
He hadn’t been to Tony’s quarters often, only twice before. Once when the other man showed him around the first time he decided to stay in New York and then a few weeks previously, when he’d forgotten something he needed in the lab and asked Steve if he wanted to accompany him while he got it.
Walking along the corridor that connected all of Tony’s rooms to each other all on his own felt strange now. He cleared his throat in the silence. “JARVIS, where is Tony? I want to make sure that he’s alright after everything that happened today.”
“He’s in his bedroom. The second door to the left.” JARVIS answered swiftly.
“Thank you.” Steve muttered, his heart suddenly racing. He couldn’t just knock on Tony’s bedroom door, could he? Even if they were friends, this was far too personal. You didn’t just go to someone’s bedroom. But then he was already standing in front of the door and knew that he had to knock. Just going back now without having done anything was no option.
To his surprise, Tony opened the door after the second knock already. “JARVIS informed me that you’re on your way here.” Tony said when Steve looked at him in surprise.
“We were worried when you didn’t come back.” Steve replied and hesitated for a moment when Tony gestured for him to come inside. Only when he had already stepped into the room did he dare to look away from Tony’s face - and inhaled sharply.
The first thing he noticed was that Tony didn’t wear a shirt. Meaning Steve could really look at him for the first time. Even not as defined as his own muscles, Tony was definitely strong. His skin also looked soft, making Steve wonder how it would feel to touch the other man. But that wasn’t what caught his attention now. Nor was it the big, ugly scar where the Arc reactor had once been. No, it was the fact that not just Tony’s arms, but his chest and back were also covered in bruises from the incident earlier that day.
“Tony…” He began, not sure how to put it into words.
“I’m fine.” The other man replied quickly, making his way to one of the drawers. “I’m sorry, let me put on some clothes. If I’d known you’d come here a few minutes before you knocked on the door…” He didn’t finish that sentence, instead pulling out a long sleeved, black shirt from a wardrobe and putting it on quickly. Steve noticed the way he flinched when he raised his arms to do it, but he doubted that Tony would like him pointing out that he was clearly in pain.
“You don’t look fine.” He said anyway, not able to hold the words back. He hated to see Tony like this.
“Just a few bruises.” Tony turned to him again, obviously feeling better now that he was standing in front of Steve with a shirt. “They’ll heal in a few days.”
“Today, everything went wrong.” Steve sighed. “When that tower collapsed and you were right there, I was scared. I thought…” He shook his head, wondering where the courage to tell Tony all this came from. But with Tony, it was always so easy just to be himself, so maybe it was just a normal effect the other man had on him. “Even the Iron Man suit can’t stand too many hits.”
“You’d be surprised.” Tony’s lips twitched. “But it was unfortunate, that’s true. I didn’t realize Thor was aiming to make the tower collapse before it was too late.”
“He should have announced it.” He muttered darkly.
“Mistakes happen.” Tony’s voice was soft when he said this.
“When a member of your team is hurt, I wouldn’t just call it a mistake.” Steve argued sternly. “It shouldn’t happen.”
“It could have been worse. Let’s just forget about it.”
He shook his head determinedly. “We will practice more, so it won’t happen again.”
Tony raised his eyebrows, but he didn’t look annoyed by it. Rather… fascinated? “I bet the others weren’t happy about it.”
“Of course not. But we need to be a perfect team when we want to stop Hydra.”
“We are a good team.” Tony smiled. “Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control, Steve.” Was he doing that? Blaming himself because Tony got hurt on a mission? “I can hear your mind racing. Just stop it.” Suddenly, Tony grabbed his hand and began to pull him towards the door. “Let’s go and get something to eat. Maybe that will take your mind off of those things for a while.”
Steve followed Tony without protest, too surprised by the sudden skin-to-skin contact. Tony’s hands were rough from many years of working in the laboratory, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. “Tony, about Pepper…” He said while they made their way to the elevator together. Tony’s grip on his hand tightened when her name was mentioned, but he didn’t let go.
“I didn’t know she’d be here.” Tony said simply. “It took me by surprise. One meeting tomorrow and then she’ll already be on her way back to LA.”
“Are you alright? I mean, seeing her again must be hard.”
“It’s fine. I always knew we’d have to work together again in the future.” When they entered the elevator, Tony let go of his hand. Steve immediately missed the feeling. “Just because we’re not together anymore, it won’t make work any more difficult than it already was.”
“You mean because you hate all those meetings.” He pointed out.
Tony chuckled. “Yeah, you could say that. It’s really annoying, especially right now. They couldn’t have planned this at a worse time.”
“I’m sure you’ll be brilliant anyway.”
Tony grimaced. “You have too much faith in me, Steve. I don’t even have a plan for tomorrow.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t improvise in front of an audience before?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Far too many times.” The genius admitted with a slight smile.
“So it’ll be fine.” When the elevator opened and they entered the living area again, their conversation ended. However, Steve couldn’t stop thinking about all the bruises on Tony’s body the entire evening.
“Sokovia?” Clint asked with a frown. “Never heard of it.”
“A small country in eastern Europe.” Natasha explained. “Not in the news very often, so I’m not surprised you don’t know it. The people there mostly live from farming, but you can also find a few factories in the bigger cities. Nothing very interesting, though.”
“How do you know it so well?” Bruce raised his eyebrows at Natasha, who just shrugged.
“I’ve been there before, only once. On a mission that took place years ago.” There was a far-away look on her face when she said it.
“So Hydra has another base there?” Steve asked, turning to Tony and interrupting the conversation. “In the middle of a forest?”
The genius nodded. “JARVIS was only able to locate it now. The data we secured in Spain helped for that.” He explained, referring to their last mission that had also led them to Europe. “It seems to be heavily guarded.”
Steve exchanged a look with Thor at this. “So there is a high possibility that the scepter is there.”
“The scepter must be there.” Tony said firmly. “This is the last of Hydra’s bases left.”
They all stared at him in surprise. “The last one?” Bruce asked. “This is it, then?”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Clint wanted to know.
“Because JARVIS just finished the analysis of all the data.” Tony gestured at the screen he was glancing at from time to time. “Some of the other places on the list don’t even exist anymore. But I think this one could also be of interest.”
“Alaska?” Steve asked with a frown.
“One of SHIELD’s bases. The Hub.” Clint explained with a frown. “But why should that be on Hydra’s list?”
“They were planning to infiltrate it, weren’t they?” Natasha asked. “But they’ve given up the location weeks ago.”
“What a coincidence.” Steve’s eyes wandered to Tony. “Did you have anything to do with it?”
Tony looked at them innocently. “It only appeared on our list now, didn’t it?” However, the way Tony’s lips twitched told a completely different story.
“Does it even matter?” Thor threw in, sounding impatient. “The place is empty. So delete it from the list. Sokovia. What do we know about the base there?”
So they started to make plans once more. Only days later, the Avengers left for their next mission.
“I don’t like all this.” Steve muttered, looking towards the room where Wanda and Pietro Maximoff were currently sitting, waiting for the Avengers’ decision concerning their future. “They wanted to kill you, Tony.” They nearly succeeded at killing him.
“Many people wanted to kill me first. Now some of them are my closest friends.” Tony said with a look at him. But then he dropped his mask of confidence and sighed. “I’m also not sure what to do with them.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Their powers make it impossible to predict what they’ll do next.”
“If we believe their words, they want to become part of the team.” Steve leaned against the next wall and crossed his arms. “But how can we trust them?”
“We can’t. Either we try it anyway, or we don’t and send them away. But what will they do then? To whom will they turn? Hydra is gone, but we both know that there’s enough evil in this world they can support.” Tony looked thoughtful.
“That sounds like a leap of faith. I don’t like it.” He wasn’t sure how many times he’d already said the words.
Tony smiled slightly. “We’ll deal with the outcome together, Steve. We’re a team, remember? Thor will be on his way to Asgard with the scepter soon, then that problem is solved. Now we have all the time in the world.”
Steve liked the thought of that. He smiled back at him. “Fine, we’ll give them a chance. But if they just think of turning against you, it’ll have consequences.”
Tony nodded seriously. “I totally agree with that.”
Together, they turned towards the room and entered it.
A few weeks after the last Hydra facility was destroyed, the Avengers officially moved from the tower in New York to the new Compound. It still surprised Steve how fast they’d managed to build it, but since Tony was involved, he should have probably expected it. What surprised him, though, was the fact that all his designs for the living area had been implemented.
“It’s wonderful.” He muttered when Tony first showed it to him, not able to find the right words. “Tony… thank you.”
The genius grinned. “Your ideas were brilliant, Steve. This is all your doing.”
“You made many suggestions while I made the sketches.” He protested, but Tony just shook his head with a grin.
“Nope, the ideas were all yours.”
The other Avengers also loved the new Compound and to Steve’s big relief, Wanda and Pietro didn’t cause any problems. It seemed like they really wanted to be a part of the team and they worked very hard to make that happen. This time, they all stayed after Hydra was officially destroyed. Most of them didn’t have anywhere to go anymore since SHIELD only existed in the underground, but some of the others also stayed because they found a family with the Avengers. Like Bruce, for example. After Sokovia, he got even closer to Natasha and Steve wondered when they’d tell everyone about their relationship. According to Tony, it could still take ages.
Now that all the trouble with Hydra was over, Steve also had much time again to think of his own love life. During the past months, he and Tony had gotten closer then ever. They spent so much time together and being with Tony was just so wonderful, Steve knew that he’d miss him immediately once he had to go back to LA. Which he had to do soon, considering there were a few things he had to do at Stark Industries. He’d offered Steve to accompany him, but he couldn’t leave the Avengers yet. The team needed him. Tony seemed to understand it, but there had been disappointment in his eyes anyway.
As to that… reading Tony’s expressions got easier with each passing day. Steve could easily tell by now when the other man was happy, or annoyed, or even exhausted. They also had developed some kind of communication just by looking at each other, something the team took in with amusement. “Just tell him how you feel.” Natasha urged him once more after an especially long Avengers meeting. “It gets harder to look at you two with each second you’re in the same room.”
However, Steve didn’t tell Tony about his feelings. Because despite how close they were, and how much time they spent together, he still wasn’t sure if his feelings were returned. Ruining their friendship by blurting out that he was in love with the other man was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t lose Tony, he knew that much. And he’d rather keep him as a friend than not having him at all.
Now that they didn’t have missions for some time, Steve also got the chance to speak to Sam Wilson again, who was still trying to find Bucky. Until now, the mission wasn’t successful and they doubted that it would change any time soon. If Bucky didn’t want to be found, it was nearly impossible to do so.
“I suspect he’s on his way to Canada.” Sam said over the phone one day. “Maybe I’ll get him this time.”
“Suspicions have never led to anything until now.” Another voice said before Steve could reply. He’d been in his rooms while talking to Sam and didn’t hear anyone coming. When he whirled around now, he saw Tony leaning in the doorway. “You can hunt your friend forever. If he doesn’t want to be found, you’ll never succeed. At least not without help.”
“Who’s there?” Sam asked, most probably because Tony had been too far away to make out his voice.
“Tony is here.” Steve replied softly, his eyes still locked with Tony’s. They’d talked about the situation with Bucky a few times in the past, but until now, Tony hadn’t said anything to the fact that Sam was still trying to find him.
“Good to hear from you, Mr. Wilson. Steve has told me very much about you.” Tony winked at Steve when he said it. After a short hesitation, he sat down next to him on the couch, leaving only a small distance between them.
“It’s an honour, Mr. Stark.” Sam said seriously. Steve knew that he was a big fan of Tony’s work.
“So tell me, what was the last clue you have?” While Sam stated the facts, Tony listened closely. Soon, they were discussing where Bucky could go and who could still know about his existence. Tony and Sam got along well right from the beginning, something Steve took in with a smile. He didn’t even know how important this was to him.
In the end, Tony promised to support Sam in his search. When the call ended, Steve looked at him thoughtfully. “You didn’t have to do that. Helping us with this.”
“He’s important to you.” Tony said simply, though there was something in his eyes Steve couldn’t quite place. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Did you just come here to help or was there another reason why you came to my rooms?” Steve wanted to know, not feeling the desire to talk about Bucky longer than necessary. At least not with Tony.
Suddenly, Tony grinned. “There’s an art exhibition in New York. Do you want to go there?”
Rhodey visited the new Avengers facility not long after the Avengers moved there, saying that he needed to see the new place. Most probably, he also wanted to visit Tony since they didn’t see each other for quite some time. Steve didn’t know the other man very well, but after Tony’s tales, he had lots of respect for him. And he liked Colonel James Rhodes, he had to admit. He was easy to get along with and had a very sharp eye when it came to matters of the Avengers. He also was overly protective of Tony, something which Steve got to know only a few days after the other man showed up.
It was late in the afternoon and Steve was in the kitchen, preparing dinner. He liked to do that, it took his mind off of things for a while. Sometimes, the others also joined him, but not every day. Today, he was completely alone.
Until he heard footsteps and Rhodey appeared from the direction of the lab, looking thoughtful. “What are you cooking?”
“Nothing special. Salad, steak and I’m baking some bread.” Steve explained, puzzled by this way to start a conversation. “Sometimes, I like to do that.”
Rhodey’s lips twitched. “Tony mentioned that you have many hidden talents.”
“Is he still in the lab?” Steve asked, knowing fully well that it was the case. Tony had started to work on armour for Wanda and Pietro not so long ago and it took all his free time. Well, except the time he had reserved for Steve, of course.
“I think you’ll have to drag him here for dinner.” Rhodey smiled slightly. “But I didn’t come here to talk about Tony. It’s you I’m interested in, Steve.”
He frowned at that. “What do you want to talk about?”
Rhodey sat down on one of the chairs, looking at him with an intensity in his eyes that made Steve put down the knife he had in his hand to cut the salad. “You have feelings for Tony.” He said bluntly, looking right into his eyes. “I assume it’s been like that for some time now. Anyone with eyes can see that.”
“I… you…” He stammered, not sure what to say. In the end, he only nodded. “I do.”
“I assume you didn’t say anything yet because of the breakup with Pepper?”
He nodded again. “I’m not sure if he’s over it. That she left him.”
Rhodey leaned back in the chair. “He never told you that he broke up with her, did he?”
Steve could only stare at him after those words, his mind racing. Tony had broken up with Pepper? He had left her?! But how… He thought of the first time Tony told him about it. How he’d just assumed that she’d left him. He’d never said anything to correct it. “He… he ended things? But he never said so.”
“Maybe you just didn’t ask the right questions. Yes, he left her, soon after the events in LA with the Mandarin. But I know that his feelings for her had changed long before then. After the Avengers were founded, to be exact.” Rhodey looked at Steve closely, taking in every reaction.
“You mean after Loki?” His heart was beating frantically in his chest now. Could it be…? He refused to even think of it. Because that’s also when he’d developed feelings for Tony Stark.
“He broke up with her because of you.” Rhodey said bluntly. “I know he would never find the courage to tell you, because he thinks that you could never return his feelings.”
“Why are you telling me all this, then?” He asked, his throat suddenly feeling incredibly dry.
“Because I want him to be happy. And you make him happy, Steve.” Rhodey’s eyes narrowed. “But if you’ll ever hurt him, let me tell you that you’ll have much bigger problems in your future than aliens or secret organizations who want to take over the world.”
He nodded slowly. “I would never hurt him. He means too much to me for that.”
Rhodey looked at him for a few more moments. Apparently, he found what he was looking for on Steve’s face, because suddenly he stood up and nodded. “Good. Now continue to make dinner, I’ll make sure that Tony remembers he needs to eat.” He was already halfway through the room when he looked over his shoulder again. “And Steve? You might tell him soon.”
Then he was gone, leaving Steve alone with his thoughts.
Dinner was really uncomfortable that day. Steve kept moving around on his chair nervously, still not sure how to process the new information about Tony. He’d broken up with Pepper. It was still hard to believe. Even Natasha, who was so close to her didn’t seem to know. And Tony even returned his feelings…
“Steve, are you alright?” Clint asked halfway through their meal. “You don’t look so good.”
“I’m fine.” He muttered, but his eyes moved to Tony. The genius’ eyes narrowed slightly at this, but otherwise, he gave no reaction. “Just not feeling so well today.”
Luckily, the others dropped the subject then. Maybe because Tony started to tell them about his latest inventions and what they would mean for the Avengers as a team. Always protecting me…, Steve thought to himself and had to hide his smile.
To everyone’s surprise, Tony offered to help him with the dishes. It was a first, considering he never did that. Even Steve had to stare at him in surprise for a few short moments. Just like with everything else, they were a perfect team in the kitchen and not long after they’d started, everything was clean again.
“What’s going on with you, Steve?” Tony asked, raising his eyebrows. “I thought you were going to run away over dinner.”
“Can we maybe talk somewhere else?” When Tony nodded, Steve led him to the roof, knowing that no one would listen to their conversation there. He also liked that place, being outside always made it possible for him to relax. The Compound wasn’t as high as the Tower in New York, but here, they could see the stars better. One of the advantages of being outside the city.
“I talked to Rhodey.” Steve blurted out once they were alone. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to start a conversation, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d felt nervous ever since Rhodey told him about Tony breaking up with Pepper and that feeling got stronger the more time passed. “He said you broke up with Pepper.”
When there had been a smile on Tony’s face before, it turned into a blank mask now. “I see.” He muttered, looking at Steve carefully. “I can explain everything. I didn’t mean to lie to you, but back when we first talked about it, you just assumed that she broke up with me. And it was still so hard for me to talk about it, that I didn’t correct you. I’m sorry, Steve.”
He took a step closer to Tony. “Don’t apologize, I get it. But he also told me the reason why you broke up with her in the first place.” His voice was soft when he said it, a question accompanying the words.
This time, Tony couldn’t keep his face neutral. He visibly paled and looked at Steve in shock. “Shit, Steve! I’m so sorry, I never wanted you to -“
“Know?” He interrupted him softly, following when Tony took a step back. “But why, Tony?”
“Because you’re… you. You’re Captain America. And far too good for someone like me. You’ve never even shown interest in anyone, least a man. I couldn’t burden you with the fact that I…” Tony hesitated. “That I have developed feelings for you with time.” He sounded so defeated while he said it, it made his heart ache.
“Alright, stop all that. I’m not too good for you. It would be the other way around. And it’s true, I have never shown interest in anyone. Anyone but one person. Who was obviously too blind to see it.” He tried to put all his feelings in one look then. The longing for Tony. How much he adored this man with all his flaws. How much he meant to him. The fierce urge to protect him from any danger.
Tony must have seen it all in his eyes because suddenly, he closed the distance between them, wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders and pulled him closer for a kiss. The kiss was nothing like Steve had ever imagined it. Tony’s lips were soft, a sharp contrast to the feeling of his beard moving against his skin. His rough hands were holding him firmly and all Steve could do was letting himself be pulled closer. He placed his hands on Tony’s back carefully, afraid that the other man might disappear if he held onto him too tightly. Then he let himself get lost in the sensations. The kiss started soft, but it got more intense soon. With a jolt, Steve realized that he probably wasn’t the only one who had imagined what it would be like if they kissed. He tried to deepen the kiss even more, forcing Tony’s lips apart with his own. The older man gasped in surprise, but then one hand gripped the back of Steve’s shirt while the other one found its way into his hair.
When they parted, they were both breathing heavily. “You…” Tony muttered, looking at Steve with amazement. “Wow, Steve. You’re an excellent kisser.”
He chuckled, not at all surprised that this would be Tony’s first realization in such a situation. “We were both so blind.” He whispered, running a hand through Tony’s hair. It was even softer than he imagined. “I’ve hoped for this. That you might return my feelings. But I also didn’t dare to hope at all. After Pepper, you were so devastated…”
“Because I hurt her.” Tony interrupted him softly. “I felt guilty for having feelings for someone else while we were still together. Being around you then… It was the sweetest kind of torture.” He smiled. “I love you, Steve. I have for a long time now. But I thought that you’d run away when I told you. Or, even worse, that you might laugh at me. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“That’s also why I didn’t say anything. Natasha has tried to push me so often these past months, it was annoying.” Steve smiled softly. “I love you too, Tony.” They kissed again, shorter this time.
“Nat also talked to me.” Tony muttered. “I didn’t believe her.”
“We’re idiots. It could have been so easy.”
“Things are never easy for us. But maybe, it’ll get better now.” Tony smiled his brilliant slight smile then, the one that Steve adored so much.
“Do we have to buy Rhodey roses for this?” He asked while he pulled Tony closer. It was amazing how well they fit together despite their difference in height.
“I think he’d rather get a new gun.” Tony replied with a laugh.
Steve joined him. “You’re amazing.”
Tony smiled softly. “I’m nothing compared to you.”
They stayed on the rooftop much longer that night, simply enjoying each other’s company. Maybe, Steve thought, admitting that he was in love with Tony Stark wasn’t so bad, after all.