Chapter Text
Something is different. Jimin stirs, turning from his side onto his back. He feels a little like he’s sinking into his sheets, and it’s such a warm and comfortable feeling that he sort of just wants to stay here forever.
Eventually, though, wakefulness replaces sleep, and he finds himself blinking his eyes open. He’s not in his room, that much is obvious, even though blackout curtains mean he’s not able to make out that much. His memories of the night before crop up—talking to Seokjin, cuddling with him, asking for kisses…
His cheeks warm up, and he drags his blanket over his head. He can still feel those lips on his own, soft and plump and hot. He’s glad Seokjin is already awake so that Jimin can panic over their shared intimacy in peace.
He tells himself it’s not a big deal. He’s made out with so many of them now, each different in their own way. Now he can just add one more to the list. It’s not like it means they’re together now. It’s not like it actually changes anything. Jimin is still planning on leaving one day.
The thought sobers him up. He finally gets out of bed, making a pit stop in Seokjin’s bathroom to freshen up. When that’s done, he trails out of the bedroom, still wearing his borrowed pajamas. There’s a nice smell filling the central area, and he deduces quickly that it’s coming from the kitchen.
“... if we worked together, maybe we could find the source of it?”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing. It’s one of the first things we learn in the hero programme, but it’s clear he never got that kind of training.”
“Those bastards didn’t care if it hurt him as long as it worked.”
“Stupid, if you ask me.”
Jimin frowns at the doorway. Seokjin is speaking to Hoseok, and he can’t be entirely certain, but he thinks they’re talking about him. He might have headed downstairs at the discovery a few weeks ago, angry or annoyed that they would talk about him behind his back. But… right now, he’s just curious.
So he shoves the door open, walking in. Both hero and villain turn around at the sound, greeting him in their own ways.
“Jiminie!” Hoseok exclaims from his spot at the kitchen island.
Seokjin turns from the stove, where he seems to be cooking something. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
Jimin could say he had one of the best sleeps of his life, but he doesn’t want to be overdramatic. “I did,” he says, peering at the stove. “What are you making?”
“Pancakes,” Seokjin says. He points at a plate on the table, where a few finished pancakes have been stacked. “Help yourself.”
“C’mere,” Hoseok says, pulling out the chair beside him. Jimin takes it, and Hoseok slides over an empty plate, dumping a pancake on it. “There’s butter and syrup too. You don’t know this, but it’s a rare day that Jin makes pancakes for us. He’s always too busy, see, but I hear you convinced him to take a break.”
Jimin flushes. “I didn’t do anything.”
Seokjin glances back with a small and endeared smile. Hoseok reaches up to rub the top of Jimin’s head, and then he jumps up. “Silverware! Guess you need a fork if you want to eat.”
He gets Jimin a fork. Jimin has never felt quite so cared for, but he doesn’t feel like rejecting it right now. He accepts the fork with thanks, starting to eat. Hoseok puts another pancake on his own plate, buttering it up and slathering it with a lot of syrup before using the side of his fork to cut and eat it.
“This is really good, Seokjin hyung.”
“If I wasn’t Luna, I probably would have been a cook,” Seokjin says, dumping another finished pancake on the serving plate.
“What if you retired?” Jimin doesn’t mean it like he thinks Seokjin should retire. He’s just curious. “Like, what would happen to the criminal underworld?”
“Probably a lot of chaos,” Seokjin says. “I can’t go into too much detail, but we keep some of the worst criminals in check. Without us, there would probably be an uptick in criminal activity, and a lot of regular people would suffer because of it.”
“On the surface though, it would be a win for the heroes,” Hoseok tells him. “Luna represents the worst of the villains, no offense, hyung. Even if in the long run, taking him down would be bad for society, it doesn’t matter to a lot of heroes because of his reputation as such a notorious criminal. A lot of people can’t see the bigger picture.”
“A win for the heroes… and you’re dating him,” Jimin says.
Hoseok shrugs. “I’m not a regular hero, Jiminie. I don’t just blindly follow orders. Sure, sometimes I have to act like I do, but I have bigger dreams than this.”
“What bigger dreams?”
“I…” Hoseok frowns, shaking his head. “I don’t know right now. There’s a gap in my memories because… Right, Jin hyung had to make it that way.”
“Don’t pry at it, Hob-ah.”
“I know.”
“It’ll all work out in the end.”
Jimin looks from Seokjin to Hoseok, then back. “What are you both planning?”
“Not me,” Hoseok says. “Him.”
Seokjin eyes Jimin carefully, hesitating before finally saying, “That’s something we’ll have to discuss in private.”
They let the matter drop. Jimin devours four more pancakes before calling it quits. As he’s about to dismiss himself, though, he remembers the conversation he overheard. “By the way, what were you both talking about before I got here?”
Seokjin tilts his head to the side. He’s done making pancakes now and sits on Jimin’s other side, sandwiching him.
“Something about training,” Jimin prompts.
“Ah!” Hoseok says. “Your powers.”
So they were talking about him.
“Right.” Seokjin swallows before going on, “When I found you last night, you were practically bleeding rain. I know you’ve had some training sessions with Hobi, so I thought I’d ask him what he thought.”
“Your powers keep hurting you, Jiminie. I want to help you figure out why.”
“They’ve always been like this,” Jimin says.
“All your life?”
“Mhm. But it got worse as I learned to increase the amount of time I spent in my phantom dome.”
“And absorbing other materials like ice and water… Was that something you could always do?”
“No. I mean, I never tried?” Jimin frowns at his empty plate. “It became a problem when I started looking at those things as something I had to absorb to travel through them. Like that day with the door. I’d never had trouble going through doors and walls before, but now…”
“Now you’re afraid that when you do, it’ll come out of you the same way my ice did.”
Jimin is going backwards. The more he learns, the more his powers feel like an enemy. He’s not sure how he’s going to fight his mother like this. If she turns a limb into a weapon, she’ll stab right through him when he gets close.
“What if I ran a little workshop for you?” Hoseok is saying.
“Workshop?”
“To figure out the source of your powers,” Seokjin says. “That’s what we were discussing. It’s something all heroes go through when training, but honestly, all Supers should be required to do it. It’s the best way to learn how not to be a danger to others and ourselves.”
“Basically, we’d be working on your powers from scratch. We’ll forget everything you’ve learned about it up till now and work our way up.”
Jimin thinks about the training he did with his father, before he even knew the concept of a phantom dome. Back then, he could make it dark for a second, two seconds tops. And then at the facility, it was never about discovering the source of his powers. It was about pushing it to its limits.
“What do you think?” Hoseok asks. “Are you up for it?”
Is he? He’s not sure. A part of him is afraid to enter that workshop and discover that the further he tries to take his powers, the more they will hurt him. What if he takes it too far and he has to stop? What if he takes it too far… and one day he doesn’t even get the choice to?
But Hoseok and Seokjin are looking at him with so much hope. He finds he can’t dash that, not right now, not after last night. So he gives them a pinched smile, accepting his fate. “Sure. Let’s do it.”
Hoseok beams, and maybe it was worth it. He gets out his phone. “I’ll text the others too.”
The hero sits right next to him, so it’s impossible not to see, even though Jimin tries not to pry. Still, he notices—the group chat he’s been sure they all have for weeks now. He reads the name, ‘Bangtan’, though he doesn’t quite make out the last few texts they’ve sent one another before Hoseok is putting his phone away.
He hears the buzz of Seokjin’s phone. Notices the distinct lack of buzzes from his own. Strangely, envy has his stomach curling, try as he might to tame it. What does it matter that they have yet another thing they don’t share with him? Just because he’s accepted a few advances doesn’t mean he’s with them.
So why should he expect anything more? It’s not like he really deserves any of this. Not like he doesn’t plan to leave them all one day. Wanting things, asking for them… it feels tainted now. He shouldn’t want. Shouldn’t ask.
Staring at the crumbs on his plate, from a dish Seokjin made him just because, he suddenly feels sad. He thinks about Seokjin last night, how happy he was to spend the night together. Happy to be cuddled, happy to be called hyung, happy to kiss. And Jimin’s going to turn around and throw it back in his face one day.
But what if you don’t?
What if you just… stayed?
Impossible. He can’t just forget what they did to him. Despite everything that’s happened in this place, his desire for revenge hasn’t simmered down. It’s just… not the only thing on his mind anymore.
Is he being stupid? Is all of this just a waste of time? Progress doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Facing the things he did with supporters by his side… it doesn’t matter.
But then Hoseok cheers loudly. But then he says to both of them, “Yoongi can’t make it because of work, but everyone else is in for training!”
And seeing that delight, watching Seokjin match it, claiming how long it’s been since they’ve all trained together, and expressing how excited he is to add Jimin to the mix, makes Jimin feel incandescently a part of this.
Suddenly, his doubts creep away to the corners of his mind. It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t matter, when feeling like he’s a part of this feels good.
🔥
“If you all don’t mind, Tae and I would like to run today’s training,” Hoseok says. Everyone’s in gym clothes since they’ll probably be moving around a lot and sweating. Hoseok stands in the center of the arena while the others face him, but at his words, Taehyung goes to stand beside him.
Jimin refuses to meet his old friend’s eyes. Ever since their little squabble, they haven’t spent much time together outside of group settings. Jimin thinks Taehyung’s been avoiding him just as much as he’s been avoiding Taehyung. He shakes the thoughts from his mind. Hoseok is speaking, and he should pay attention.
“Supers should assess their powers from time to time, especially if you use them often. With more use sometimes comes more abilities, but only through assessments can you figure out what those abilities are and how you should use them.”
“Like with my light attack,” Taehyung supplies. “It wasn’t something I even thought was possible, but after stretching my powers so much through training, I became able to manipulate light as well as emit it.”
“Exactly. So I thought instead of sparring like usual, we could demonstrate our powers to each other and see if we can discover anything new about them, together. Tae and I have some ways to inspire you that we learned in hero training, to help guide you along.”
Seokjin hums interestedly. “An intriguing idea. I’m up for it.”
“I’ve always wanted to see what else I might be able to do,” Jungkook says. Jimin looks at him, spotting the excitement on his face. In all the time they’ve spent together, Jimin hasn’t actually seen his powers at work. Suddenly he’s excited too.
“I’m in,” he says.
“Me too,” Namjoon says.
Hoseok claps his hands, grinning. “Excellent! Who would like to go first?”
Jungkook’s hand shoots into the air. He’s definitely the most excited about it, which surprises Jimin because he hasn’t spoken much about his powers with Jimin before. But he supposes there are always new sides to a person to learn about.
Hoseok asks Jungkook to explain his powers, its base, its uses, and everything in between. He’s like a beast, he says, and if he wants to be more accurate about it, he’s more like a dragon than anything else. When it comes time to demonstrate, he changes. His eyes glow, his nails grow sharp like claws, and he can breathe an impressive amount of fire.
Jimin always suspected, of course. The claw marks, the fire powers, of course his mind turned to dragon. “That’s about all I can do though,” Jungkook says, sounding a little disappointed. “I guess I’m fast too? When I want to be? And my senses get more sensitive too, though that’s more of a recent development.”
“I graduated from my hero course with someone similar to you,” Hoseok says, “and he struggled with developing new abilities on top of what seemed obvious. A good starting point for you would probably be to hone those abilities. You’re fast? Get faster. Your senses are more sensitive? Learn to discern between different smells. Test how far you can see. Even breathing fire—see if you can manipulate it. Get it to work for you, rather than just letting it out.”
Jungkook wears this little smile, revealing sharp teeth. “I think I can do that.”
“Let’s have everyone demonstrate their powers, and then we can get into trying all those things,” Hoseok says.
Namjoon goes next. His power is simple—he manipulates air. He can do several things with it, like create air whips, make the air spin fast like a tornado, blast air at an enemy, create air shields against weapons, even bullets, muffle noise by manipulating how sound waves travel through the air, and the list keeps going.
“But I struggle with speed. If I want to make a tornado, it’s a slow build. If an enemy shoots me, I have to know it’s coming so I can prepare an air shield in time.”
“So you already have something you know you want to work on,” Hoseok says.
“Yeah.”
Taehyung has a hand on his chin, obviously thoughtful. When he hums, everyone turns his way. “I wonder… Maybe you should train to control air constantly. Not just in dangerous situations, but when you’re out on walks and whatnot. That way, you’re already holding your weapon. I’m sure speed will come with time. How’s your stamina? How long can you manipulate air before you grow tired?”
Namjoon frowns. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever tested that.”
“Then that’s what you should do.”
“I agree,” Hoseok says chirpily.
Seokjin goes next because when Hoseok asks, Jimin is too afraid to raise his hand. He’ll just go last. He’s not sure he even wants to though, considering everyone here knows how his powers tend to hurt him. He can’t do more with it, because that will mean hurting himself more in the process. His power is unnatural, he thinks. An enemy.
Rather than feel sorry for himself, he decides to pay attention to Seokjin, who’s explaining how his powers work. As they all know, he says, he can control people with his voice. That was the first manifestation of his power. Over time, he learned to create bonds with people, which he calls ‘soft’ mind control, because it doesn’t force you to do things.
But after last night’s discussion, if he could learn a way to not be so exhausted all the time after using it, that would be a plus. He’s not expecting a solution right away though. His is a tough power, after all. It relies on mental stamina, and no amount of meditation or other mental exercises has worked for him in the past. Painkillers only do so much.
“I’ve actually wondered,” Hoseok says, “is it the maintenance of your soft mind control or the use of your hard mind control that tires you out more? Or a combo of both?”
“My soft mind control doesn’t take as much power, or I suppose you might call it mana, for all you video game lovers.” Seokjin chuckles, and Taehyung and Jungkook share a smile. “So if you’re talking about it in terms of that, hard mind control makes me more tired. But it also doesn’t need maintaining, which means I have more capacity for it.”
“You use a lot of power—mana—when you do your hard mind control, but it’s a one time use, and that’s it. While your soft mind control takes less power, but having to maintain it over time slowly depletes you of that mana.”
“Exactly.”
“But your mana has grown over time, hasn’t it?” Hoseok asks.
“It has, though my rate of growth gets less and less over time. I think I’m reaching my peak capacity,” Seokjin says.
“That’s dangerous, isn’t it?” Jungkook asks.
It’s reminiscent of what Namjoon said last night at dinner. Hoseok and Taehyung share a look. The very first day Jimin was here, he learned that Seokjin manipulates the heroes’ memories so that when they're on hero duty, they won’t be able to reveal anything about their connection to one another here.
And that must take a toll.
“Not if I don’t overuse my soft mind control,” Seokjin says. He speaks lightly, reassuringly, but Jimin can sense the fear behind his tone. He’s trying too hard to make it seem like everything’s okay when it’s not. Jimin recognises it because he’s always trying to distance himself from his own problems.
It’s the reason he lets himself speak out loud, wondering, “Can’t you use your soft mind control the same way you use your hard mind control? So that it’s a one time use and doesn’t need maintenance?”
Seokjin frowns. “I’m not sure it would work.”
“Because the base of your abilities are different?” Jimin remembers what Seokjin said before—that his powers are based on trust.
“Exactly. Soft mind control—it requires mutual trust. I let down my walls, and so does the person I’m bonding with. But hard mind control is different. I’m breaking a mental wall when I use it. It’s powerful, and taxing, but it’s permanent, depending on what I’m trying to control.”
“In a way, forcing us to not speak about our connection to you would be less taxing long term,” Taehyung says softly.
“But my directions would be limited. Bonding allows me to be more flexible. Besides, forcing orders on you is not pleasant. You both know that firsthand.”
Seokjin sounds sad when he says that, looking at Hoseok and Taehyung. The heroes offer reassurances that it didn’t hurt them, that they know it’s for their safety. Jimin thinks about his own bond with Seokjin. He thinks about the mental exhaustion, the spent ‘mana’, the constant maintenance. He doesn’t fully understand it, but maybe that’s why his mind starts to form an idea.
“Your soft mind control relies on the other person opening themselves up to you,” Jimin muses out loud. Everyone turns to look at him.
Seokjin answers, “That’s right.”
“And when you touch that person’s mind…” Jimin tries to recall what it was like when they made those promises with each other. What had Seokjin said? A bond like this doesn’t work unless both parties give something. It connects us to each other. “... you form a connection.”
“Yes.”
His mind turns to every conversation he’s had with every person here. He thinks about the words of support and comfort they’ve offered, thinks about how ever since he let them in, even just a little bit, it has made him feel lighter than he’s felt his whole life. And maybe it’s silly to compare this to that, but it’s where his mind goes, and he just… he wants to help him.
“So what if… what if you could offload the mental strain onto us?” Jimin says. Maybe his power doesn’t work like that. Maybe the idea breaks the boundaries of reality. But he thinks about Seokjin’s sadness, how tired he’s been, how worried Namjoon was last night, how Jungkook is slightly fearful, and how Hoseok and Taehyung just want him to be happy.
Thinks about that, and holds Seokjin’s gaze steadily.
Seokjin doesn’t make fun of him. He doesn’t laugh or say that’s impossible. He stares at Jimin quietly, like he’s considering it. Like it’s an idea worth investigating. And then he says, “It’s never crossed my mind that I might be able to do that… but if I can learn to…” His eyes light up. His lips form a semi smile. “That would solve a lot of problems for me all in one go.”
It’s absolutely crazy, completely insane, but having Seokjin look at him like that, all soft and hopeful and grateful, makes Jimin feel like a superhero.
And then it’s his turn.
Some of them already know where he’s at with his powers, but Hoseok tells him to go over all of it again so everyone can hear. Jimin lets out a breath. It’s similar to his days in the facility. They used to do demonstrations too, except he was never the one in charge of his own growth.
It was always a scientist—introducing him to the others, explaining everything he could do and all the new things they wanted him to try. Or it was a test of skills, pitting one child against another, seeing who came out on top. Seeing who could win. Seeing who was more willing to trample on the other in search of victory.
Jimin reminds himself that this is different. He’s not at the facility any longer. They’re not going to force him to absorb fire—or ice or water or any other materials. So there’s nothing to be afraid of.
He looks at Seokjin, who he thinks he helped, and wonders if the others might be able to do the same for him. Maybe, in another reality, not surrounded by harshness and pain and injury, his power could be his friend and not his enemy.
“I can make it go dark by removing all the light in the air,” Jimin says, and he does just this, plunging the room into darkness. He only does it for a few seconds. The light bleeds from his eyes after, and he blinks the ache away. “When I’m in that darkness, which I call a phantom dome, I can move within it.”
He demonstrates this too, and a second later he’s behind the others by the door. He starts walking back to where he was before while the others stare at him in awe. “I used to use this method to escape… certain situations, since I can move freely inside the dome. But my dome is limited in size. Recently, Hoseok gave me the idea to decrease the size of my dome and practise having it move with me.”
He does exactly that. To the others, he’ll look like a dark shadow moving swiftly from one end of the room to the other. “I’m still unpractised, so I’m slower when I use this method,” Jimin says when he’s back to normal. “And I think that’s it.”
Hoseok tsk’s. “You forgot some things. You can absorb other materials too, can’t you?”
He knows the answer, but he’s letting Jimin speak for himself. Jimin stifles a sigh, but Hoseok’s right to bring it up. If he’s going to get any help in improving his abilities, he has to mention everything. “I’ve absorbed ice, fire and water too, but when I do, these materials leak out of me. It’s an unpleasant experience, and I try to avoid it as much as possible.”
“Fire?” Jungkook mouths, his voice barely audible.
Jimin remembers something else. “I can control things in the dome too. I can lift things—” He does it, creating a big enough dome to include the nearby weapons, which he lifts and then scatters throughout the room. There’s a soft gasp when his dome falls to show knives and staffs and axes spread out across the floor, and he shrugs. “But with my smaller, moving dome, this wouldn’t be possible.”
“That’s a very interesting ability,” Namjoon says. “When you’re moving objects, is it like telekinesis? Or did you physically move those objects, one by one?”
Jimin has always just done it without understanding the basis behind it. Just like he used to do when moving through doors or walls. “I’m not sure,” he admits. “I don’t think I’m moving them one by one, but my body is malleable when I’m in that state. It’s like I become darkness, which allows me to do things differently than when I’m not in my dome.”
“So you’re changing the composition of your body?”
Jimin has never thought about it like that. “Um…”
“That’s what I thought once too,” Hoseok pipes up. “When we trained a while back, he was able to move through doors as long as he was in his dome. But now…”
He looks at Jimin, who shifts uncomfortably, feeling like he’s actually taken steps back since coming here. “I can’t do it anymore. If I do, I’d absorb the materials of the door.”
Seokjin frowns. “But why?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out,” Hoseok says. Jimin just shrugs. He can’t understand his power any more than they can.
“Is it a mental block, maybe?” Jungkook asks.
That seems the most likely case. Hoseok doesn’t seem so sure though. “I think it’s more than that. Honestly, Jimin, I have this feeling you haven’t been using your powers correctly at all.”
It’s the first time he’s ever said something like this to Jimin, so directly, and although his tone is factual, it’s grating to hear. Jimin scowls. “This is how it’s always been. Even before I knew what I was doing, it always manifested itself in the same way. I create a dome. I absorb light. I emit light. That’s the basis of it. Tae will tell you.”
All eyes turn to Taehyung. “Yeah, that’s how it was when we were kids,” he confirms.
“But it’s not just light now,” Hoseok says, pondering out loud. “It’s other things too. Maybe… Maybe your power is growing then?”
Jimin feels himself grow cold. Yes, it used to be that he would absorb light and emit it. But after he was brought to the facility? They poked and prodded at him, and one day he got burned. Was that an ability he was always meant to have? Or was it… was it because of them? Did they do this to him?
Maybe there will never be a way to use his powers properly, because they were never normal powers to begin with.
They can’t help him. He can’t be helped. All that hope for nothing. What was he thinking, that this little demonstration might actually help him get a handle on his powers? Stupid, he was stupid to think it would lead anywhere. Hoseok is wrong. He’s not growing; he’s getting worse.
“One day I’ll absorb something my body can’t handle and that’ll be it.”
He doesn’t mean to say it out loud. It just crossed his mind and his lips started moving before he could stop them.
Hoseok is already denying it. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Of course it is!” Jimin counters, angry at the false optimism. “This is my limit. If I keep pushing it, it- it’s—”
But oh, maybe it’s his own fault. Maybe it’s because he left—ran away. Maybe they had a plan, to experiment on him enough so he could take it, so fire and ice and water would have nothing on him. Maybe he doomed himself by leaving. Maybe he was never meant to be able to survive on his own.
Is that why it keeps hurting him? And it’s only getting worse, isn’t it? Maybe this was their plan all along—make him rely on them, so one day he would have to go back.
But there’s nowhere to return to.
You burned it to the ground, remember?
He can feel himself falling into a pit of despair. It’s like the ground is vanishing from beneath his feet. Suddenly, he’s back there, sucking the fire into his body, none the wiser, doing it because he was told to, listening to instructions like the good boy he tried to be, for her, for her, like she wasn’t the one who brought him there, like she wasn’t the one trying to break him.
I know it hurts, but bear with it. You did so well today, my son.
He’s supposed to go after her. With his powers, he always figured it was just a matter of finding her. Once he did, the rest would be easy. But if his powers are regressing, if they’re going to hurt him more and more, then what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to fight her?
He feels ten years old again, her arms tight around him, muttering like she was his saviour, even though his father’s blood was on her hands.
“There must be something we’re missing,” Seokjin is saying. “Sometimes powers are deceiving, and what seems like one thing might be another.”
“It’s something to do with materials and body composition, I’m sure of it,” Namjoon says. “Why else can he absorb those things in the first place? Absorb light, become darkness… I wonder…”
“Maybe it’s a matter of manipulating the materials properly?” Jungkook suggests. “So it doesn’t hurt him?”
They’re talking like it’s nothing. Like this is just another mystery to unravel. They don’t understand. His powers are broken. He’s broken. She’s going to get away, and he’s going to die before he finds her.
He needs to find her. Find her now. Find her before it’s too late.
Go— Go now. Go, Jimin, leave this place. Find her.
Find her.
Find me.
“Jimin—”
It’s Taehyung’s voice that gets cut off as Jimin plunges the world into darkness. All sounds fade, like that got sucked away too. He thinks he’s done that before, once. Doesn’t dwell on it for too long, because he has to go. He has to find her. Find her and— and…
Not even a second has passed in the dome when Taehyung enters. Invades it, more like. Preventing him from moving. The perfect counter to his powers.
But Jimin is desperate, frantic. Nothing else seems to matter except finding her before it’s too late. He needs to find a way to run from here, but Taehyung’s powers will hurt him. It will overload him if he tries to absorb his light, and he’ll pass out just like he did before.
Suddenly, the words the others were saying hit him.
Sometimes powers are deceiving, and what seems like one thing might be another.
Absorb light, become darkness… I wonder…
Maybe it’s a matter of manipulating the materials properly?
He recalls a singular moment, in a dank motel room, hungover and upset, when it felt like his body had become nothing, and he floated like he would in his dome except there was no dome, just his surroundings, a wavering form, and complete and utter weightlessness.
If he was metaphorically closing a hand before, now he’s turning it, shifting palm up to palm down and turning it on its head. For a second it’s like he’s trapped, caught in a strange non-reality between the dome and normalcy. And then it—
Shifts.
Dark becomes light and he becomes—
Nothing.
No— not nothing. He’s still here, like he was always still there, in the dome. He can… move, floating from one corner of the room to another in an instant. He can… lift things, a sword here, an axe there, as if he’s lifting them in his hands except his hands are at opposite ends of the room. Being able to see those things moving in the air, knowing he’s doing it but not understanding how, it’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
Is this… his power?
He stares at the door, once a friend now an enemy, and thinks how the way he is, passing through it would be so easy. Thinks to do it, but before he can, that hand is turning palm side up again, as if held back by a rubber band; his current strength over it is limited; he can only remain in this form for so long.
The drop back into his body is disorienting. One second he’s everywhere and nowhere and the next he’s materialising by the door. Suddenly he’s heavy, too heavy, and he can’t hold himself up. He collapses in a heap, groaning, and that’s when all sound returns too, ringing in his ears but not making any sense.
They’re all around him, probably concerned, but he can’t even lift his head to look at them. They try to help, they do. Namjoon turns him on his back and Seokjin checks his pulse and the others say things to him, trying to get him to speak except everything is heavy, heavy, heavy.
Things do come back, bit by bit. He doesn’t think long has passed, though disoriented as he is, it feels like ages. The weight of his body becomes familiar. The indiscernible voices gain clarity. As if the last five minutes didn’t happen, he sits up all on his own; no light bleeds from his pores. It’s just him, it’s just…
“I- I think…” Everyone falls silent when he speaks. “I think I just discovered something else my powers can do.”
All that despairing, believing he was running out of time, suddenly it seems so far away. He almost broke down for nothing. But then, if he hadn’t, perhaps he never would have discovered this.
This power… This is a power that can crush her, once and for all.
🔥
When he hears what it looked like to the others, a thrill shoots down Jimin’s spine. This is the kind of breakthrough the scientists at the facility would have killed for. They’re all sitting in a sort of cluttered circle on the floor, and Taehyung speaks first.
“I knew something was off. You were too quiet, and the last thing you said, you sounded panicked. I had a feeling you were going to make a dome, and then you did.”
“I thought then that we must have overwhelmed you or something with all the theorising,” Seokjin says. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Everything went dark and we couldn’t hear anything either, even after Tae lit up. We could all see him as well as you in the dome. But then…” Jungkook trails off, looking uncertain.
“To me,” Namjoon says, “it looked like you… turned into mist. You just… poof. One second you were there, shadowed by your dome but still there, and the next, you were gone and it was light again.”
Hoseok admits, “It was kind of terrifying. I thought you must have found a way to teleport even with Tae trying to stop you, except we still couldn’t hear anything, and…”
“The sword and the axe,” Jungkook says. He swallows, his eyes wide as he looks at Jimin.
“They suddenly floated. It’s like you were… telling us you were still here?” Namjoon guesses.
It’s Hoseok who asks the question they’re all probably thinking. “How did you do that?”
Jimin lifts his hand, palm up as he parses through this information. “When I was first learning to control my powers, they told me to visualise closing my fist.”
“They…?” Jungkook says.
“The scientists who looked after us.” That’s putting it far, far too nicely. “Just now, though,” he continues, “I visualised something else.”
He turns his palm over, facing down.
“But what are you actually doing when you do that?” Hoseok asks.
Jimin frowns. It’s still the same as it’s always been, even after discovering something new. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s like you all think. Something about manipulating materials… But it’s not something I’m trying to do. I’m just doing it.”
He stares at his palm, then turns it again, but making it look like it’s springing back into place instead of purposefully changing it. “But I couldn’t stay in that form for long. It flipped back before I could test the door thing.”
“My beast form used to have a time limit too,” Jungkook tells him. “You can train that though.”
That thrill sparks again, rushing head to toe. It’s like his earlier panic never existed. “Yeah… It’s something that can be trained.”
He imagines it, honing this new power of his so that he’s practically invincible. He’ll be able to get in anywhere, see everything, find her and get close and complete his mission before she even realises he’s there.
The back of his neck prickles, and he looks up to see Taehyung’s eyes on him. There’s curiosity there, perhaps even a little bit of narrow-eyed suspicion. Jimin knows his thoughts are safe from prying eyes, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel embarrassed for where they went.
Although, really, what does Taehyung expect? Jimin has been forthcoming about having another goal this whole time. That hasn’t changed; it won’t change, no matter the bubbling feelings he has for them. He shouldn’t be embarrassed, or ashamed. His leaving has always been inevitable.
“It’ll take time, you know,” Taehyung finally says, to which Jimin frowns. “Developing a new skill… You can’t rush it. If you do, it could backfire.”
The words are grating for some reason, like Taehyung is assuming Jimin doesn’t know that already. Like because he’s a hero, he just knows better. Well, Jimin never wanted to rush the development of his powers. He never had a choice in the matter.
Jimin scoffs in response. “I know that.”
“It’s just… I’m scared you’ll push too hard with it. You’ve been hurt before. I just don’t want you to hurt again.”
If only Jimin could hear the consideration behind those words, the sincerity behind Taehyung’s real concern. Right now, thinking about how his mission just got a whole lot easier, Jimin only hears an admonishment.
“Think I’d know that better than anyone, Tae. It’s not like I want my powers to hurt me either.”
“I know you don’t.”
“Do you?” When Taehyung can only blink, mouth slightly agape, Jimin goes on. “Because it sounds to me like you think I let it hurt me on purpose.”
“What? No, I—”
“As if I rushed it all because I wanted to be powerful or something. I didn’t choose my powers and I didn’t choose to be taken and I didn’t choose— any of it. I hate that my powers are like this.”
“Okay.” Taehyung has a hand out in front of him. The others seem tense, like they’re ready to spring into action if need be, like Jimin is a ticking time bomb any second from setting off. “I didn’t mean to say any of that. Of course… Of course you didn’t choose that. I’m sorry it came across like that.”
Jimin glares at him, then at the others, hating the rage that sweeps over him. But on top of that, he’s… hurt in a way he didn’t expect. “You’re always tiptoeing around me. Like if you say one wrong word, you think I’ll leave.”
“I mean—” Taehyung glances at the others, some wearing frowns, others shaking their heads in soft argument, but it seems they’ve all decided this is between Jimin and Taehyung. “Are we wrong to think that?”
No. Yes. Jimin doesn’t know. All he knows is that he hates this feeling, the lack of trust in those eyes, especially when he thought they had built so much of it. But none of them trust him, not really. They’re right not to, of course, and he knows he hasn’t given them any reason to think he’ll stay, but it still hurts.
“This breakthrough with your powers…” Taehyung continues slowly, carefully. “I’m just scared it’ll give you another reason to leave, and I– I don’t want you to leave, that’s all.”
“You can’t force me to stay.”
“I know I can’t—”
“I have things I have to do.”
“I know you think that, but, Jimin, you don’t have to… What I mean is, can’t you just… let it go?”
Jungkook wears a scowl. “Tae.”
Taehyung whips towards him. “Don’t tell me you don’t think the same as I do.”
“It’s Jimin’s choice.”
“And if he gets himself hurt? If he gets himself killed? Are you just going to let him waltz into who-knows-where? If he decides to go, you’re just gonna let him?”
Jungkook’s lips press together. Taehyung turns to Hoseok, then to Seokjin and Namjoon, his eyes wide and imploring. But no one says anything, either frozen in shock at the way the conversation is going or maybe something else. Jimin doesn’t know them well enough to know what their silence means.
Besides, Jimin has just had another thought, realised there’s a real reason for Taehyung’s fears, and frustration boils up inside him. “Oh, you’re afraid because you can’t stop me anymore,” Jimin says.
“No—”
“Yes. With this new power, your light has no effect on me. You’re angry because you can’t control me anymore.”
“It’s not about control—”
“But don’t you see that it is?! You want to keep me here. You want to force me to stay. You don’t get it. You don’t understand what– what they did to me. But even if you did… You don’t care, do you? You don’t want me to have the only thing that’s kept me going all these years. You expect me to just… let my demons go. Well, I can’t.”
Was Taehyung always so self righteous? So uptight? Or was that a result of his hero upbringing? Jimin feels the chasm between them grow wider. He thought maybe one day he would find a way to cross it. Now, he’s not sure that’s even a possibility.
“You don’t like what I’ve become, I get that,” Jimin says with a humourless laugh. “I’m not your scared clueless friend anymore, and you hate that. You wish I’d become that person again. You think you can fix me. It’s so… so fucking frustrating.”
Taehyung’s eyes are shiny, his lower lip wobbly. “I… Jimin, I…”
Jimin stands and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Just leave me alone, Tae.”
At that, Jimin storms out, shoving the door open so he can escape all the prying eyes. He sensed they wanted to get involved, to say something to help the situation, but a part of him is glad they didn’t.
If they had, maybe this chasm he feels with Taehyung would have grown to include all of them, and as much as Jimin fears these bonds he’s started to build, selfishly, he wants to hold onto them.
Grip them in his small hands as tight as he can, even if that means one day, he might break them from squeezing too tight.
Better have them as much as he’s able right now, rather than not at all.