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"Hey, let me ask you a question… What kind of person do you think Dazai is?" Chuuya asked, slurring his words as he spoke.
"Dazai? I think he's very intelligent and talented." He smiled and looked at Chuuya questioningly.
"That's true. But let me say…" He took a sip from the glass as he pictured the younger man. "This man… The blood in his body is black." He paused, "mean, dark, confusing," He mumbled more to himself than the man in front of him. Looking back up, he continued, "Always anticipates everything. But occasionally, he miscalculated… and the look of panic after he predicted failure…" He paused again, putting the glass down and leaning on the table. He swirls the red liquid around watching it while thinking of Dazai loving the raw emotion he only saw glimpses of. "Is the most enjoyable."
"I see…" The man across from him was silent for a moment. "Chuuya, how much do you like past me?" Dazai said, staring at Chuuya.
Chuuya looks up at him almost lovingly. "Past you…" He mumbled, "you… I love you." It was said quietly, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough for Dazai to be sure of what he said.
Dazai took a second to be sure of what Chuuya said. He took a breath, looking at Chuuya hesitantly. He didn't know how much Chuuya would remember once he woke up in the morning. He could never be certain.
"Chuuya…" He said hesitantly. What is he thinking? Chuuya? The slug? There's no way. But he's never felt what Chuuya makes him feel with anyone else. It's more than unwavering trust and an undeniable closeness.
"Dazai." Chuuya says, looking at him sharply. It took Chuuya a long time to understand the care he had for Dazai during their Port Mafia days wes more than that and that the feelings were cemented into his very core. It's complicated. He hates Dazai on the surface, but the more he thinks, the more he feels.
Dazai opens his mouth to say something, but his thoughts and his throat aren't aren't on the same page. He doesn't like Chuuya. He doesn't love Chuuya. But he doesn't hate the man, nor would he ever try to say that he doesn't care at all.
Chuuya stands abruptly walking in front of Dazai, looking down at him. "You know how you feel." He states, and Dazai knows he's right.
Dazai knows how he feels. On a deeper level than surface level thoughts, he knows how he feels. He doesn't understand how he feels, but he knows what he feels.
"Say it." Chuuya demands, although his voice won't stay level, standing over Dazai like this helps the effect. Dazai blinks up at Chuuya, his mind going on overdrive with contradicting thoughts. He doesn't want to say it, but he doesn't not want to say it.
He breathes in shakily. "Chuuya I…" Dazai doesn't understand why he's reacting like this. There's been plenty of times when Chuuya stood over him demanding things. But never like this…
"Dazai." Chuuya says, making the younger look at him. All he wants is for Dazai to admit his feelings. Although he must admit Dazai looking so lost is quite the sight.
"Chuuya-" Dazai breathes uncertainty. "I…" He doesn't know what to say. The way Chuuya is acting makes him almost want to do it, but he doesn't want to say it just because he was told to.
"Osamu." Chuuya snarls, leaning over Dazai. He's sobered up a lot in the minutes since saying he loves Dazai. Maybe he would have given in if Dazai wasn't so appealing while flustered. For someone like Dazai, the look fits him.
Dazai swallows thickly. He feels like he's been backed into a wall. He hates the fact that he wants to say it because Chuuya told him to. He's not just going to follow Chuuya blindly, though.
"Say it, Osamu." Chuuya says face close to Dazais. Anyone would be able to see the conflicting thoughts on Dazais face. Chuuya knows exactly what he's doing, and he knows that Dazai will give in.
"I-" Dazai sounds a little lost when he says that. He breathes shakily, hating how his body is reacting to the whole situation. It's a mixture of Chuuya being good at intimidation and the genuine feeling that Dazai has for him. "Damn it." He sighs. "I… I love you."
Chuuya smirks, and He leans closer to Dazai. Their faces close enough to feel each other's breath. It's a silent challenge. Who'll give first?
Dazai swallows, attempting to glare at Chuuya. Dazai won't be the one to give in. No matter how he feels about Chuuyas lips being so close to his own, he won't be the first to go for it.
Chuuya wanted to watch Dazai more, see his internal conflict and the silent begging, but he also wants this. He leans in and closes the gap between their lips. Dazais lips are slightly dry and have the lingering taste of whiskey on them. It's pleasant in a strange way.
Dazais eyes widen. He wasn't expecting Chuuya to give in this quick. It takes a moment to process before he closes his eyes. There's a bitter sweetness on Chuuyas' lips from the wine, and even though it wouldn't be his first choice of drink, it's nice.
Chuuya pulls away and licks his lips. Dazai subconsciously copies the action as he blinks at Chuuya. Chuuya smiles at the way Dazais face grows red. "You're pretty when you're not pretending."