Work Text:
Crowley, being the kind, wonderful, handsome, intelligent, powerful, thoughtful and modest headmage he was, had noticed something off with his students. A lack of effort as the school year started up. A sort of ‘who cares :3’ aspect of their learning. They had gotten into a bit of a lull, you could say.
And that wasn’t good at all!
Lulls were bad! Bad for schools! Bad for learning! Bad for motivation! At this rate, NRC would lose all of its funding! And that couldn’t happen! How would Crowley pay for his island vacations more student supplies if they lost their funding?! Something had to be done to give his students some S to the P to the I-R-I-T! Spirit!
And of course, since he was so kind and pretty and gorgeous and handsome and many other positive adjectives, Crowley came up with a solution!
Getting a real counselor to help the students deal with their emotions instead of relying on the unpaid labor of a freshman from another world? Fuck no!
Offering check-ups on each student during times of high stress? Fuck no!
A raffle where each A+ a student received would count as a ticket for a grand prize, which would make the students become more passionate about their schoolwork, resulting in NRC being given more money than they could ever spend, making Crowley go down in history as the prettiest, smartest, and greatest headmage there ever was?
Fuck. Yes.
Now, what was the prize for the competition? Well… tickets to a carnival, of course! That would be worth all of the student’s efforts!
Right?
~~~
“Babe, you hear what Crowley’s doing?”
Vil lifted his sunglasses up from his face and raised an eyebrow. “What, the raffle?”
“Uh-huh. The raffle.” Leona stretched out on their picnic blanket, feeling comfortable as he and his boyfriend lounged in the warmth of the Savanaclaw sun. He covered his mouth as he yawned. “You gonna do it?”
“Hell no.” Vil put his sunglasses back on, turning so he was now laying on his stomach. “I don’t like raffles, they rely too much on luck.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Leona reached over and reached into the picnic basket next to him.
“Can you grab me the sunscreen?” Vil held out a hand. His boyfriend rooted around the basket before tossing it over. As Vil squirted some into his hands he shook his head. “But even if I did like them, it's just… a dumb idea.”
Leona watched Vil spread the sunscreen onto his face. “The raffle?”
“No, I meant Crewel’s 2024 spring collection.” The blond rolled his eyes. “Yes, the raffle.”
“Okay, damn.”
Vil rubbed some sunscreen on his nose. “If I wanted to go to a carnival, I’d just buy tickets myself, no need to bring luck into it.” He handed the sunscreen over to Leona. "Can you get my back?"
"Sure, princess~. Anything else you need?" The lion rolled his eyes as he poured some sunscreen onto his hands.
"Mmm, a handsome man beside me?" Vil looked at Leona as his boyfriend rubbed the sunscreen onto his back. "Oh, look at that, I already have one~." He smirked at his boyfriend. "Thanks, darling."
"Anything for you, angel honey darling sweetie pie~!" Leona shook his head. After putting the sunscreen back, he laid down next to Vil. “Anyway. Do you?” Leona tilted his head.
“Do I what?”
“Do you want to go to the carnival?” The prince put his chin on top of his hands as he looked at his boyfriend.
Vil turned to lay on his back. “As a date?”
“No, as enemies." Leona rolled his eyes. “Yes, as a date. Last I checked, we're dating.”
“We are?” Vil gasped, fake surprise practically dripping from his voice.
Leona matched him perfectly, lifting himself up and nodding eagerly. “I know right?”
“Who would’ve thought?” Vil put his hand over his mouth, letting out a laugh.
Leona laid back down, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend as he echoed his words. “Who would’ve thought?”
Vil ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair as he hummed in agreement. “A guy like you, a guy like me.”
"Hmhmm." Leona's eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Vil's hands in his hair. “So, you down for a carnival date?”
“Yeah, sure." Vil let out a yawn, feeling drowsy from the sun and Leona's comfortable warmth. "It could be fun.”
~~~
Three weeks had passed since that conversation. Vil had almost entirely forgotten he and Leona had even talked about going to a carnival together until he heard the sound of a small rock hitting the window of his dorm right before he was about to go to bed.
’Oh, I know who this is’, Vil smiled as he pulled a robe over himself.
He called out as he opened the window. “Rook~, how many times has it been this week?”
"This week?" Ah, so it wasn't Rook, but Leona. The prince's eyes were wide in surprise. "Just how many times has he done this?"
"Rook gets sad when he can't serenade me outside my window at least a couple times a week, so quite a lot." Vil nodded, opening the window wider to let Leona in. "He has such a way with words, you know!"
"That guy needs to find a hobby that isn’t flirting with other people's boyfriends." Leona stepped through the window into the dorm.
“Nonsense, Rook doesn’t flirt with me.” Vil waved one hand, bringing the other up to his chin. “He simply appreciates my beauty, who wouldn’t?”
Leona raised his eyebrow and gave Vil a look.
The blond shook his head. “Well, it's safe to assume that you're not here to serenade me?”
“Ah, my throat is kinda dry, no singing tonight. Sorry babe.” Leona pulled out a pair of tickets from his back pocket and handed them to Vil. “No, I'm here because I got the tickets, we’re going to the fair.”
Vil looked at his boyfriend, surprised. “The… fair?” He blinked before remembering the conversation they’d had three weeks before. “Leona, why did it take you so long to get two tickets to a fair?”
“The fair is controlled by a mafia and the only way to get tickets was to sell someone’s liver, so I made a deal with that cephalo-dick, yadda yadda yadda, buried a couple of bodies, yadda yadda yadda, paid Ruggie fifteen thaumarks for his liver, yadda yadda yadda.” Leona lied. In reality, he just couldn’t get good tickets until today because they weren’t being sold any earlier.
“Only fifteen thaumarks for his liver?” Vil let out a laugh. “Ruggie should have come to me, I would have given him sixteen at least.”
“Aww, next time, babe.” Leona pat Vil's shoulder. "Anyway, the fair's next Saturday, you game?"
"Thank you for telling me so far in advance." Vil shook his head as he moved to shut his window. "Luckily for you I don't have any gigs planned then, so I can do it." He smiled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "Ruggie didn't sell his liver in vain."
"Good, you never want to sell your liver in vain." Leona lowered his head so that it was resting on Vil's shoulder.
"Mmhmm." Vil looked up at his boyfriend. "Did you know that the liver can grow back if you cut off a part of it?"
"I did, but I love that you know kind of creepy things like that, babe." The lion lightly kissed the lobe of Vil's ear.
"It's not creepy, it's basic medical science~! But, I do love it when you say that~!" Vil leaned into his boyfriend's embrace before looking up at him. "So, I assume you didn't come to my room late at night just to show me those tickets, right, darling?" His voice lifted up slightly, and he drew out Leona's nickname.
Leona grinned. "Maybe~"
"Well, why don't you-" Before Vil could finish what he was saying, a small sound came from his window.
It was a cheery knock.
“Hm.” Vil pulled away from Leona, much to the lion’s dismay and pulled the window open. And, of course, who else would it be other than the world’s greatest hunter.
Why, hunt was even in his name!
“Rook, how are you doing today?”
“Fuck.” Now, not only had Leona’s time alone with his boyfriend been interrupted, but now he had to deal with that freak.
‘Next weekend better get here fast’. He thought as Rook broke into a song about how he wanted to steal Vil away from Leona and then kill Leona, resurrect Leona, kill him a couple more times for fun, and then marry them both.
However it was entirely in French, so neither Vil nor Leona understood what was being said.
Too bad!
~~~
After what felt like the longest week ever, finally Saturday came, and Leona and Vil were off to the carnival, having arrived right before it opened at noon.
“I can’t believe you managed to wake up before twelve on a Saturday, darling.” Vil laughed, pulling Leona to the -still closed- gate that led into the fairgrounds.
His boyfriend shrugged, covering his mouth as he yawned. “Don’t know how I did it. Maybe you breaking into my dorm at six and yelling at me until I woke up might’ve helped.”
As punishment for waking a sleeping lion, Leona had insisted they wear matching shirts. And the blond had made the mistake of indulging his boyfriend, and now they both wore shirts that said ‘I got cockblocked at the Magically Haunted Mansion’.
Vil wore purposefully-frayed jean shorts, Leona wore cargo shorts, and boom. They looked as good as they could have given the circumstances.
“I wish I hadn’t, since you made me wear this…” The blond sighed, looking down at his shirt.
“What do you mean?” The prince raised an eyebrow, grinning because he knew exactly how much Vil hated their T-shirts. “We look hot, babe.”
“Flattery will get you anywhere. You bastard.” But, it seemed Leona’s compliment worked on Vil, as he pulled off his sunglasses and handed them to Leona. “Can you put those in there?” He gestured to his purse, which Leona had oh-so-generously carried around his shoulder.
“You can.” Leona took the bag off and handed it to Vil.
The blond frowned but put the sunglasses into the bag. “My boyfriend is such a gentleman.”
“Eh.” Leona shrugged, but took the bag from Vil and put it over his shoulder once more. “I told you when we first started dating; I’m no Prince Charming.”
“You aren’t.” Vil moved so that he linked arms with Leona. “But I suppose you are my charming prince.” He laughed.
The prince brought a hand up to his forehead and gave a small salute. “Happy to be of service.”
“Hmhmm.” Vil rolled his eyes but moved up to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. “You’re cute.” As he moved away, the gates opened and the other people who gathered outside filtered their way in.
“Is there anything here you really want to do?” Leona asked as they walked around for a while. At the moment, they were at the area that was reserved for large attractions like roller coasters and the high swing ride.
“Find other couples walking around and make them feel jealous of our insane chemistry and hotness as a power couple?” Vil smirked before looking at Leona. “Or do you mean rides?”
“I meant the second one, but am down with doing both.” Leona nodded before grabbing his boyfriend’s shoulders. “I fucking love you so much for being the way you are.”
Vil reached up and grabbed Leona’s face. “I fucking love you so much for being the way you are!”
The blond then pulled Leona’s face closer to his, and they claimed their status as the ‘alpha boyfriends’ of the carnival, so to speak.
Once they pulled apart to breathe, Vil let go of Leona’s face and brought his hand down so that he was now holding onto the lion’s hand. “Why don’t we walk around some more before we figure out what we want to do?”
“Sure.” Noticing a map, Leona walked over to it with Vil following him. The map was colorful and divided into seven different sections.
There was ‘The Queen of Hearts’ Happy Times’, which seemed to be the designated kid play area, so unless Leona or Vil wanted to watch some children fall on the ground, they could steer clear of that place.
’Scar's Scramble’ seemed to be the cool down area where the park goers could relax and eat their overpriced park food. Luckily for them, Leona and Vil had made the smart (and very illegal) decision to sneak in their own food, so they wouldn’t have to deal with overpriced shitty food, but it was good to know where they could eat. It also contained the park’s largest attraction, the ’Stampede’ roller coaster, complete with three back-to-back loops, and its own soundtrack available on Spellify. For some reason.
“We have to try that at some point.” Leona pointed at the ’Stampede’.
“Really?” Vil raised an eyebrow. After thinking for a moment, he shrugged. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”
To their left was ’Grimhilde’s Game Corner’, which consisted of the classic carnival games. Pop the thing, hit the thing, throw the thing, and so on and so forth. In it, there was also the park’s ferris wheel, aptly titled ‘The Ferris-t Wheel Of All’.
Vil pointed at it, eyes shining. “We’re ending our trip with that.” Leona chuckled. “Wow, really? What made you want to ride it?”
His boyfriend let out a chuckle. “You can’t expect me to not when they named it that.” He covered his mouth with his hand. “I’m not immune to clever marketing.”
He then pointed at the furthest area, called ’Maleficent's Merry Maze’. “It looks like there’s a corn maze here. This place has everything, doesn’t it?”
Leona nodded, eyes following Vil’s fingers. “No shit, even with a maze this part also has…” He squinted at the map as he read it. “A haunted house?”
The boyfriend’s looked at each other.
“Didn’t we already do that?” Vil asked, tilting his head.
Leona nodded. “Yeah, we did. That gecko joined us and everything.” He then shook his head. “Well, personally speaking I’ve had my fill of haunted houses and punk mages, so I say we steer clear of that.”
“I’d say he’s more goth than he is punk.”
“I know, I was saying that on purpose to show how much I don’t care about him.” Leona nodded before looking at Vil. “Just thinking about that asshole makes me tense. I feel like even saying his name would summon him here, ugh.”
Vil wrapped his hand around Leona’s as they looked at the map. “It’s fine if we don’t do the haunted house, I want to do more later, though, okay."
The prince let out a sigh. “Fine, you’re lucky I-”
“Oh, I know I am.” Vil let out a laugh, leaning in to give Leona a peck on the lips before pulling away to talk. “It’s a carnival, we’ll find plenty of things to do that don’t make you think about Malleus.” He leaned in once more, this time deepening the kiss.
Leona smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Vil. “Oh yeah? Like what?” His eyes closed, feeling peaceful.
And yet.
There was this sinking feeling in his chest. Like danger was approaching. Like the thing he dreaded more than anything else in the world was right behind him. Like if he opened his eyes, he’d see-
“Oh, Kingscholar, Schoenheit. What a pleasant surprise.”
ASS. FUCK. DAMMIT. SHIT.
Yes. That’s right. Malleus was there.
And he… looked really goofy.
He was wearing a cropped orange fishnet top, with a blue halter top that had the words ‘I have no tits’ written on the front of it. He was wearing bright red short-shorts, paired with black thigh-high stockings that had a fish pattern on them. He was also wearing rainbow croc heels.
On his head he wore a hat that said ‘Nonbinaries love me, fish fear me’, complete with a bisexual pride pin, and a pair of chartreuse party sunglasses.
He was also wearing three differently colored neon fanny packs, each worn across different parts of his body. One strapped across his back, one worn around his waist, and one he held in his hand as though it were a purse.
Upon hearing Malleus’ voice, Vil pulled away from the kiss. After seeing Malleus, he first fought back a gag at his outfit choice. After taking a couple of deep breaths, he turned to look at Leona, letting out a laugh, putting his hands over his face.
“Malleus, you’re-” Vil was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak, he could feel actual tears coming from his eyes. Leona could feel tears coming from his own eyes, but they were for a different reason.
The fae prince nodded. “Yes, I am.” He smiled at Vil. “It seems as though my presence makes you happy.”
“SO happy!” Vil pulled away from Leona. Or at least, he tried to. The lion prince had an iron grip on his boyfriend as he stared at Malleus with what seemed to be a million years worth of hate.
“What the fuck are you doing here.” Leona glared at Malleus.
“I won the raffle.”
Leona looked at Vil. “He won the raffle.”
Vil nodded, grinning as he put his hand over his mouth. “He won the raffle.”
Malleus stepped closer. “I won the raffle.” He nodded at the two. “I don’t suppose you would like to join me for a day at the fair?”
“We would love-” Leona covered Vil’s mouth with his hand. Vil swatted his boyfriend’s hand away from him. “We would-” Once more, Leona put his hand over Vil’s mouth.
And once more, Vil swatted his hand away. He grabbed Leona’s arm and held it away from him before he could stop him from speaking again. The blond nodded eagerly at Malleus. “We would love for you to join us on our date.”
Leona put his hand to his chest. ’Is this what betrayal feels like?’ Vil put his hand over Leona’s and patted his chest comfortingly. The lion grabbed Vil’s shoulders, shaking him. “Why?”
Vil smiled at Leona. He shook his head lovingly. “I love you.”
“I love you too, but that doesn’t answer my question.”
The blond nodded. “I know.” He pulled away from Leona and grabbed onto Malleus’ arm. “Come on, let’s try the ’Stampede’ roller coaster.”
As they turned around, Leona saw that there was writing on the back of the prince’s shorts. It said, in white letters ‘Are u nasty?’. The lion put his hand to his chest, feeling as though he needed to cough up blood.
Malleus didn’t notice this and instead nodded as well, linking arms with Vil as they left Leona standing in front of the map. “That sounds like fun. Also, would you explain what a roller coaster is?”
~~~
“Ah, I see. It is a device designed to torture its participants, causing their emotions to become so overwhelmed with fear that they believe themselves to be having fun.” Malleus put a hand on his chin as he nodded. “Thank you for explaining, Kingscholar.”
“Anything for you, Malle-boo.” The lion- who had joined the pair in line after fifteen minutes of arguing with himself- gave Malleus a thumbs-up. He looked over at Vil, who was staring intently at the rollercoaster ahead of them.
Vil held out his hand to Leona. “Darling, can you hand me the binoculars? They’re in the bag.”
“Why the fuck did you pack binoculars?” Still, the prince reached into the purse he had been carrying. After a moment of blindly fishing around, he found them and handed them over.
Vil took the binoculars from Leona. “Rook tends to break his and sometimes needs to borrow a pair, so I figured it was a smart idea for me to bring them.”
“Aww, babe, that just gave me more questions.”
“What's not to get? If Rook needs another pair, I have one he can use." Vil waved Malleus over. “Here, can you look at that for me?” He handed the fae prince the binoculars and pointed to a small white block over by the roller coaster.
Malleus put the binoculars on. “It seems to be… a sort of camera?”
“Of course it is, ugh.” Vil shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself as he spoke to Leona. “They always put photo-ops on big roller coasters, it's like they want to see me from a bad angle!”
Quickly, Leona spoke. “That doesn’t exist, you're hot from every angle.”
Vil put a hand to his chest. “Oh, stop it.”
“Okay.”
The blond frowned, grabbing onto Leona’s arms. “No, I didn’t mean it like-”
“Do you still need me to look at this camera?” Malleus was still holding the binoculars to his face. He had been admiring the architecture of the ride in front of him with rapt attention. ’To think that a torture device would be so well built...” He smiled. ’Reminds me of the old times’.
“Oh, no. You’re fine, thank you Malleus.” Vil slowly pulled the binoculars away from Malleus. As he did so, both he and Leona noticed that they had left a bit of an imprint around the fae’s eyes.
“Snrk-You look so-” Leona laughed before looking at Vil. “Is that why you had him use those instead of you?”
Vil didn’t say anything, only putting the binoculars back into his bag with a smug smile on his face.
“Is something wrong with my face?” Malleus looked over at Vil.
“No, you just have a small imprint, it's not a smudge or anything major.” The blond waved a hand. He continued rooting around in his bag. “It’ll go away before we go on the ride.”
Malleus nodded. They stood in silence as Vil continued to dig through his bag. Feeling obligated to carry on a conversation, Malleus spoke to Leona. “So, how have you-”
“Shut up.”
Malleus’ eyes widened. “What did you just-”
“Shut up.”
"Kingscholar, I believe you are acting very-"
Leona held up a hand to Malleus' face. "Listen asshole, the only reason I haven't ripped your throat out is because it would mildly inconvenience my boyfriend."
Vil looked up from his bag. "It wouldn't actually mildly inconvenience me. I wouldn't really be that affected by it." He frowned and pointed at Leona. "But also don't do that."
The prince gestured to his boyfriend, not looking away from Malleus. "See? So shut your fucking mouth before I tear you a new one, gecko."
Before Malleus could say anything else, Vil let out a loud gasp.
Instantly, Leona looked over to his boyfriend. “Babe? What is it?”
Vil was staring at the bag, pulling it wide open. He looked up at Leona with a frown on his face. “We left all of the food we packed!” He pushed the bag away. “That was the one thing we needed to bring, but we didn’t, and now we have to buy that deep-fried, artery-blocking, overpriced bullshit they sell here.”
Leona blinked. He pulled away from Malleus to pat Vil’s shoulder. “Babe, it isn’t the end of the world if we eat that junk.”
“For you it isn’t!” Vil held his hands out. “The stuff they have here is so greasy I could get a zit, Leona.” He grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulders and shook them. “A zit!”
Thinking quickly, Leona pulled Vil up from the ground and spoke. “Even if you do get a zit, that doesn’t change anything.”
Vil frowned but said nothing.
Leoa continued. “No matter what you look like, you’re still the hottest bitch around.”
The blond brushed a lock of hair behind his ear, smiling. “Well, I know that.” He picked the bag up from the ground. “I’m still not going to buy a deep fried cotton candy though.”
Leona pat Vil’s shoulder. “We’ll drive through some place on the way back.”
Malleus cleared his throat. “If I may, what is this deep fried cotton candy you spoke of?”
“Well, it’s cotton candy.” Leona held his hands out. “And then you deep fry it.” He nodded to himself. “I know it’s really difficult for your pea-sized brain to put together, but don’t worry, I’ll be there to teach you allllll about these kinds of things.”
Malleus nodded with a small smile on his face. “I appreciate that, thank you.” He then frowned. “And also, my brain is not pea-sized. It is 1260 centimeters cubed, which is the average size of what a brain should be.”
“Oh, that’s surprising.” Leona smiled. “Nothing else about you is average.”
“Leona, darling.” Vil looked at his boyfriend. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of an asshole?”
“Aww! Yeah, actually! You say it all the time!" Leona smiled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “I'm the asshole with a heart of gold, and you're a bitch who also has a heart of gold!”
Vil laughed, leaning into Leona's embrace. "I guess that's why we're so good together!"
Malleus then spoke up. “Would either of you say that I am bitchy in nature?”
As Vil opened his mouth to say ‘fuck no’, Leona spoke, narrowing his eyes at Malleus. “A son of a bitch, maybe.”
“My parents are dead.”
The rest of the time spent in the line was silent.
~~~
Vil glared at the commemorative photo in his hands. During the ride on the final drop, those horrible hidden cameras had flashed, and he had been able to pose for it in only a split second. In the photo, he had one hand lifted up, pulling his hair back slightly. His reddened lips were slightly bit, and his eyes stared directly into the camera, giving it a sort of sensual yet mysteriously intriguing feeling.
Yes. Vil seemed to have gotten the memo on how to do a roller coaster photo correctly. It was Malleus and Leona who had failed him.
Leona looked as though he were clinging onto Vil as though he was about to die (which, considering they were dropping at over 180 feet into the sky, he could have), and his beautiful, soft, kissable lips were pulled into a wide, wrinkled scream. His eyes were screwed shut, adding more wrinkles to his gorgeous face. And his hair. It had gotten tangled after being flipped left, right, up and down throughout the entire ride. Which was completely Leona’s fault, as he had refused to comb it with the hairbrush Vil had oh-so-kindly offered him before they went on the ride.
Admittedly, it was quite a bit funny and incredibly adorable seeing his boyfriend looking like this, but regardless!
“Leona, you knew there was a camera on this!” Vil admonished, holding the photo up to him. “But you didn’t even try to look good for it!”
The lion prince shrugged. “I look good no matter what I do.” He raised an eyebrow, just waiting for Vil to argue with him.
Which, of course, Vil couldn’t. Not after Leona ‘You're hot from every angle’ Kingscholar had been so sweet to him earlier. Instead, Vil decided to turn his attention to the other photo-ruiner.
“Well, what about you, Malleus?” Vil held the photo up to the fae. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
In the photo, Malleus had his arms crossed. He was looking into the camera with a completely blank face. His eyes appeared to be hazed, and his skin was pale. While the others in the photo had at least tried to look natural (well, no, Vil didn’t look natural at all, but that’s neither here nor there), Malleus just looked completely out of it.
“Why, you look positively green in this!” Vil shook his head as he pointed at the photo. He then looked at Malleus. “Well, that actually might just be the lighting, you actually look kind of green now.”
As Vil spoke, the prince had been staring off into the distance. He had been swaying to the side slightly. His face, while usually pale, now appeared to be slightly green.
Vil frowned at the fae. “Malleus, are you-”
“Excuse me, Schoenheit.” Malleus pushed Vil away from him and stumbled away. He nodded to both Vil and Leona, who had joined his boyfriend’s side. “I fear that the roller coaster was too much for me. Lilia would be disappointed in my weakness.”
He then nodded to himself and attempted to step forward. However, before he could do that, he fell to the ground, passed out. Vil let out a shriek as he ran over to the prince. Leona stared at Malleus Draconia.
Yes. The Malleus Draconia. Heir to the most powerful kingdom ever built. Known around the world as one of the strongest mages there ever was. The fae that Leona had at one point literally attempted to kill, on the ground after having been defeated by some rusty old rollercoaster.
He had always imagined bringing down that guy in an epic fight, lion versus dragon. Beast versus fae. A battle between two of the strongest mages in all of Night Raven College, with thunder and lightning, and maybe even a damsel in distress or something.
Not like… this.
It kind of stung, in a way.
~~~
Leona took a sip of water from the bottle Vil handed to him while they sat inside the carnival’s infirmary. They had spent about half an hour there, waiting on the gecko to wake up from his rollercoaster-induced coma.
The prince handed the bottle back to Vil, wiping away some water from his lips with the back of his hand. “So, Vil.”
“Mmhmm?” The blond hummed as he drank some water.
“Now I’m just going to put this out there…”
“Mmhmm?”
“What if we just…” Leona gestured to the curtains where Malleus was behind them. “Leave him here?”
Vil twisted the cap onto the now-empty bottle and lightly smacked Leona’s head with it. “Absolutely not.”
“Ow.” Leona rubbed the spot that had been hit. “You’re not even going to consider it?” He picked up the bottle and handed it over.
“Not at all.” Vil grabbed the bottle and brought it over to a nearby recycling can. He let out a sigh as he turned back to his boyfriend. “Leona, I…” He trailed off, twisting his fingers together as he thought about what he was going to say.
“What is it?” Leona raised an eyebrow as Vil sat next to him.
“I know you have a lot of issues with him, and I don’t blame you for not liking him.” The blond turned so that their knees were touching. “But darling, look at me.” He gestured to himself. “Malleus is the only reason that this-” He gestured to himself once more. “-is… still here.”
Vil still remembered what it had felt like to lose his entire youth in only a few seconds. He hadn’t regretted it, saving Idia (though the blue-haired man sometimes made it really difficult) but still. Becoming a 118 year old when you’re supposed to just be a regular old fashioned 18 year old is an awful feeling.
Which is why when Malleus had used his magic to bring Vil back, he had sworn to return the fae’s kindness tenfold.
Leona furrowed his eyebrows together as his boyfriend continued. “I kind of owe him my entire life.” Vil shrugged. “So yeah, I’m not going to leave him here.”
The prince grit his teeth together. “Dammit. You have a good point.”
“I know I do~” Vil singsonged, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. He hugged Leona, and then raised his voice. “With that said, what do you want to do now, Malleus?”
“He isn’t awake, babe.” Leona returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around Vil’s waist.
Vil frowned. “He isn’t?” He raised his voice once more. “Malleus, are you up?”
After a moment of silence, the fae’s deep voice sounded from behind the curtain where he had been ‘sleeping’. “Yes.”
“What the FUCK??” Leona yelled, fur standing on end.
“I wanted to give you two time for a nice moment.” Malleus stepped out of the curtain, looking at the two. “I can leave if you need more, though.”
Leona’s tail flicked angrily side-to-side. “You know, it would’ve been nice if you had just done that from the beginning...” He let out a sigh and looked at his boyfriend. He had remembered how relieved Vil had been when Malleus used his magic on him. Leona let out a low growl. ’Sevendammit, I owe that bastard too…’
With a heavy heart, he spoke. “So, Malle-boo.” He grit his teeth together. “What do you want to do next?”
~~~
“Come on, darling!” Vil encouraged as he clapped.
Malleus had chosen for the three of them to play some games (because he didn’t want to go back on another ride. For some reason) and currently he and Leona were taking part in a pull-up challenge against each other.
Vil would have joined in, but he had already done his workout for the day and settled for cheering them both on.
“Only a couple more to go, Leona, you look so hot up there!” Vil then looked at Malleus, who was smiling contentedly as he slowly raised his chin up above a bar. “And you too, Malleus. I guess!”
It was quite obvious which one he was rooting for.
“Sevens…” Leona panted as he brought himself up for a twentieth pull-up. He glanced over in Malleus’ direction and grit his teeth together. ’Come on, Kingscholar. You can’t let that gecko beat you with your boyfriend watching!’ Vil watched him with rapt interest, hands clasped together in excitement.
He pulled himself down, feeling hot sweat fall down his forehead. ’You have to do this!’ He brought himself back up, arms trembling in exhaustion. ’Malleus is tied with you right now, all you need to do to win is-’
Just then, Malleus let go of the bar, leaping across the booth. Of course, he stuck the landing and planted both of his feet on the ground.
Leona and Vil looked at him in surprise.
“Forgive me, Kingscholar, but I must end our playful game.” Malleus spoke quickly as he ignored the stuffed dragon prize handed to him from the underpaid game booth employee. Without any other word, he ran away.
“HA!” Leona instantly let go of the bar, letting out a joyful laugh. “I won!” A victory by default, sure, but Leona wasn’t picky. He grinned smugly as he picked up his prize- an incredibly ugly lion plushie- and handed it to his boyfriend.
“Babe, am I sexy or what?” He leaned over to kiss Vil’s cheek, but the blond pulled away from him with a laugh. “Oh, you’re so sexy, but also you’re a sweaty bastard and I’m not letting you touch me until you use this.” Vil swapped out the plushie for a can of deodorant from his bag.
“Rude.” Still, Leona sprayed himself. After a moment, Vil then stepped closer to him, peppering his cheek with soft kisses. Between his kisses, he spoke. “You’re so. Sexy. Hot. Gorgeous. Strong. Smart. Kind of a bitch but we already addressed that.”
Leona grinned from ear to ear. “Hell yeah I am, babe.” He nodded happily. “You know, when I asked you out for a carnival date, this is what I pictured us doing.”
“What?” Vil paused his kisses. “An ungodly amount of PDA?”
“Yeah!” The lion nodded, gesturing to where Malleus was standing in front of a claw machine, face pressed to the glass. “Not babysitting some gecko.”
Malleus spoke up, still staring into the claw machine. “You should never sit on a baby, Kingscholar.” He tapped the glass. “Especially a baby gecko, they are very small and weak.”
Vil chuckled and pulled Leona towards the machine. “What are you looking at, Malleus?”
The prince didn’t look away as he spoke to Vil. “Many years ago, Lilia gave me an ancient artifact. It is my most prized treasure, so much so that whenever it is not on my person I use my most powerful spells to create a barrier around it so as to stop thieves from attempting to steal it.”
Leona raised an eyebrow. “That didn’t answer his-”
“As it is an ancient artifact, I fear that there are not any others like it and that mine is the last piece of a dead decade. Left behind and still living while all of its people have been lost to time.” Malleus tapped on the glass. “So you can imagine my surprise when I saw this.”
Vil and Leona both moved closer so they could take a look at what was inside the machine. There was a stuffed animal of some guy in a red spacesuit (which looked a little bit suspicious, honestly), a couple gift cards for some fast food joints, a tamagotchi, some old video game system, and various other items.
It didn’t look like there were any ‘ancient artifacts’ in there, to which Vil pointed out. “Malleus, could you tell us what item you’re talking about?”
The prince pointed to the tamagotchi. “This. They are very rare, and I’ve never been able to find another one like it.”
Leona blinked. “The… the tamagotchi.”
“Is that the name you use for it in this land?” Malleus tilted his head before shaking it. “No matter, I know what it is. I’d recognize that shape anywhere.”
Leona reached into the bag on his boyfriend’s shoulder and pulled out Vil’s phone. He cleared his throat then spoke. “Mira, Mira, where the fuck can I get a tamagotchi?”
Both he and his boyfriend looked at the phone, which showed dozens of online stores where they could find that ‘ancient artifact’. They then looked at Malleus, who was still staring at the machine with pure awe in his gaze.
They then looked at each other.
“Vil, can we just-”
“He saved my life, darling.”
“But I-”
“When we get married, he’ll be the entire reason we’re able to do so in the first place.”
“But I hate him so-”
“Raising our kids, going on vacations, paying bills, meeting our grandchildren, retiring, becoming old and gray together.” Vil pointed at Malleus. “All of that, because of him.”
Leona crossed his arms, muttering to himself as Vil stepped closer to the other prince. “So, I take it, you want us to get this?”
Malleus nodded. “I would have done so myself already, but I do not know how to use this machine.”
“Here.” Vil pulled out a thaumark from his bag and slid it into the machine’s slot. “You just put the money in and then you can control the claw inside with this.” He grabbed the joystick. “The claw is meant to drop on top of the item you want, and then it grabs it and drops it down the hole.” He demonstrated by pressing the button on the machine.
The claw shot down and grabbed onto the red spacesuit guy before picking it up and dropping it into the prize chute.
Vil bent down and grabbed it, showing it to Malleus. “See? Easy.”
“Wow.” Malleus lightly touched the red spacesuit guy, eyes shining. “This technology is so advanced.” He nodded to Vil. “You must be very smart.”
“I am, thank you.” Vil then put another thaumark into the machine. “Your turn, Malleus.”
The prince nodded seriously and grabbed the joystick. “I will do all I can to get that ancient artifact out of there and in our custody.” He moved the claw so that it was on top of the tamagotchi. “I won’t rest until it is out.” He pressed the button, aannnndddd…
It grabbed air.
Leona clicked his tongue and pat Malleus’ shoulder. “It’s okay, Malle-boo. You can’t be good at everything.”
Vil also patted Malleus’ shoulder. “We can try again. There’s plenty of time.” He pulled out yet another thaumark and inserted it into the machine. “Here.”
“Thank you, Schoenheit. Kingscholar.” Malleus nodded to them both. He grabbed the joystick once more, a fire lighting up in his eyes. “I shall be quick with my victory.”
~~~
So apparently when Malleus said ‘quick’, he actually meant ‘take the entire rest of the day and go through all of the thaumarks Vil had on hand, leading them to find an ATM to take money from Leona’s account, causing him to get so angry that he stormed off to find an employee and they haven’t seen him for a good fifteen minutes’.
Which was just fantastic.
Both Vil and Leona had tried their hand at getting the tamagotchi, but they’d ended up getting every single item inside the machine except the one they had been gunning or.
Vil would have laughed at the irony except he was actually starting to get pissed off.
Letting out a sigh, he stepped closer to Malleus, who was gazing intently at the machine as he moved the joystick around carefully. “Malleus, if it’s so important to you, I can just-”
The claw lowered down and grabbed at air once more. Both Malleus and Vil let out defeated sighs.
The prince frowned as he looked at Vil. “I’m sorry to have spent so long on this, Schoenheit. We can leave, if you’d like.”
“No, I…” Vil shook his head. “I’m invested at this point.” He kicked the machine with his foot. “It’s just that this piece of shit won’t work!”
“Well, you know what they say.” Just then, Leona’s voice called out from behind them. He had a smug look on his face, and behind him was a very tired looking fair employee.
He wrapped his arm over Vil’s shoulders as he continued what he was going to say. “If you can’t do it right the first time, do it wrong the second time.”
“It is well past our second attempt, Kingscholar.”
“Shut up.” Leona flipped Malleus off then gestured to the person behind him. “Alright, kid, you know the drill.”
They nodded then moved over to the machine. Letting out a tired sigh, they reached into their back pocket and pulled out a key. They inserted it into the machine and just like that, they were able to take the tamagotchi out.
They stepped back and handed it to Leona.
The prince nodded to them. “Good job.”
“Okay. Bye.” The worker then shuffled off, gone as soon as they arrived.
Vil looked at Leona in visible confusion. “Darling, what did you do?”
“I gave them one of your half-used bobby pins and they said they’d open the thing up for us.” He grinned. “You’re welcome.”
The blond’s eyes widened and he grabbed a strand of his hair, noticing that a bobby pin had been removed. “You bastard!”
“Kidding, kidding.” Leona fished out a bobby pin from his pocket and put it in his boyfriend’s hair. “I gave them a couple of thaumarks plus a cool-looking rock I found on the ground.”
He turned back to Malleus, holding the tamagotchi in his hand. “So yeah. You saved my boyfriend’s life, I got you a cheap toy that went out of fashion years ago.” He wrapped his arm over Vil’s shoulders. “We’re even.”
Malleus’ eyes shone as he gently took the item into his hands. Unlike his own ancient artifact, this one had more of a lion-inspired design than a dragon-inspired one. It also had a tiny plastic crown on its head. As far as priceless ancient artifacts go, it was the cutest one he’d ever seen.
Though he did prefer his own due to the sentiment of having carried it for years, it warmed his heart to have his friends care so much about him that they would spend the entire day working for it.
The prince smiled. “Thank you both for your efforts. I promise I shall never forget the kindness you have bestowed upon me today.” Looking at the tamagotchi for a moment, he then held it out to them.
“As thanks, I will give you both the honor of caring for this ancient artifact.” He smiled once more. “Once it awakens, we can even have ours be friends, just like the three of us are in real life.”
Leona blinked. He looked at Malleus. “You fucking-”
Vil quickly took the tamagotchi from the fae prince. “Thank you, Malleus. I know how much these things mean to you, even if I don’t understand the appeal myself. We’ll be happy to take care of it.” He elbowed Leona’s side. “Isn’t that right, darling?”
The older man grit his teeth together, flicking his tail side-to-side as he said nothing.
Malleus’ grin grew even wider. “That is wonderful. I’m grateful to have friends like you.”
“Aww, Malleus, you’re such a sweetheart.” Vil grabbed onto his arm. Before looking up at the sky, which had started to grow dark. “My goodness, we really spent the entire day at this machine, didn’t we?” He raised his hand and pointed to the ferris wheel. “How about we ride that and call it a day?”
Malleus nodded. “I am happy to spend more time with you both.”
“Wonderful.” Vil then grabbed onto Leona’s arm, speaking to him. “What do you think, darling?”
“You’re lucky I love you, babe.” Honestly, Leona couldn’t find it in himself to feel upset or angry about spending more time with Malleus. Sure, he still didn’t like the guy, but hey, Vil was there, and he loved Vil, so it kind of evened out. “I ain’t gonna fight with you.”
“Good, because I’d win~”
“No you wouldn’t~”
The two leaned in close to each other, either to make out with or punch each other, but before they could, Malleus spoke up.
He smiled at the pair. “You both care for each other a lot.”
Leona raised his eyebrow at Malleus. He gestured to himself and Vil, his arm still wrapped around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Obviously. Newsflash, fartster, we’re dating.”
Before Vil could say anything about how dumb of an insult ‘fartster’ was, Malleus spoke up, putting his hand on his chin. “Yes, you are. Hmm.” He looked at the pair with curiosity. “I wonder, how did you two get together in the first place?”
Leona looked at Vil. Vil looked at Leona.
They grinned.
~~~
“And that’s the story of how Leona and I got together.” Hours later, Vil finished the story, leaning his head onto his boyfriend’s shoulder lovingly.
“Wow…” Malleus sighed. “That was such a wonderful story. I’m so happy you described every single detail in that story with such attention. Everything down to the kinds of shoes you wore to the fact that your pencil broke because you held it too tightly was so relevant to the story you told.” He nodded seriously. He then put his hand to his chest, feeling a strange pull in his heart.
It felt warm, and yet, he almost felt a sense of envy at their happy tale.
He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “And what a story it was! A love blossoming over time, yet also happening instantaneously. One brought on by panicked times, yet flourishing in peace as well. I do not think I have ever heard a better love story in my entire life, and I am well past my hundredth year!”
“What?”
Malleus clapped his hands together, not mentioning Leona’s remark. “I feel sorry for anyone who was unable to listen to your love story, as hearing about it surely changed my life for the better.” He bowed his head slightly. “Thank you both for sharing.”
Leona grinned. “No problem. Most guys actually prefer not hearing about it, actually. I tell it as a punishment for some of my boys, actually since it’s so long-winded.”
“They simply don’t understand the raw power of true love.” The fae prince shook his head. “How sad.”
“I know, but-” Before Vil could finish what he was going to say, the person controlling the ferris wheel cleared their throat. Surprisingly enough, everyone else at the fair wanted to end their trip with the wheel, so there had been an incredibly long line.
But it wasn’t that bad, they had plenty to keep them occupied until it was their turn.
Which it was now.
As the trio stepped onto the cabin (which was shaped like an apple. Vil let himself fanboy for a moment before calming down), the ride started and they were slowly raised into the air.
The ride went on in relative silence as they stared out into the area surrounding the fair. A dense forest of green trees grew all around the fair, encasing them in a peaceful nature view as they rose higher and higher. The sun had completely set, so only a few stars lit up the night sky and the world below.
Leona found himself wanting to fall asleep as he moved so his head rested on his boyfriend’s lap. Having expected something like this to happen at some point during the day, Vil didn’t protest and instead brought his hand down to carefully run his fingers through the beastman’s hair.
Malleus watched this happen before him, feeling that strange pull in his chest returning as he watched the two together. ’Is this what love is?’ He thought to himself before turning away to look out the glass. ’They truly found their other halves, haven’t they?’
’What must it be like, to not be alone?’ He put his hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating slowly. ’To find love.’
And in his heart, in the deepest part of his mind, he found himself whispering something quietly, almost silently.
’I wish I could find it.’
The ride continued in silence.
~~~
Leona let out a large yawn as they got off the ride. Noticing this, Vil frowned at him. “You better not be too tired to drive back.”
“No way, I could drive in my sleep.”
“Do not do that?” The blond tugged on Leona’s arm, pulling him to walk with him.
“I’d rather me drive while I’m sleeping than have you drive while you’re awake.” The prince stuck his tongue out playfully. “Mr Vil ‘I drove into a car because their license plate was tacky’ Schoenheit.”
“That was one-”
“Two.”
“That was two times!” Vil crossed his arms. “And it’s not as though driving is something I do regularly. Naturally I wouldn’t be perfect at everything.” He then smirked, bringing a finger to Leona’s face. “Plus, last I remember, you were the one distracting me while I was driving, darling.”
Malleus felt himself zone out as the blond said those words. He didn’t hear what the pair continued to talk about until they had left the fairgrounds and reached their car.
At that point, Vil turned around to face the prince. “Come on, Malleus.”
The fae blinked, having not heard what he said. “Pardon?”
“You walked here, right?” Vil opened the door for him. “Or used your magic, I suppose. We’re going back to NRC anyway, so it only makes sense to carpool.”
“Oh. I…” Malleus looked over at Leona. “Are you certain?”
The fellow prince shrugged. “Why not? You’ve been with us all day, what’s another hour, right?” He sat down in the driver's seat. “Come on, Malle-boo. We’ll get fast food and everything, it’ll be a party.”
Malleus let out a small laugh. “When you put it like that, how can I refuse?” He sat inside the car, just as he had the last time the three of them had spent the day together. As he trailed his fingers against the leather seat, he felt that strange pull in his chest once more.
Vil spoke as he sat down in the passenger seat. “I really wish I hadn’t forgotten the food I brought. I don’t like having to get fast food like this.”
“One burger isn’t going to ruin your life, babe.” Leona shook his head as he grabbed onto the gear shift.
The blond rolled his eyes as he pulled out his compact mirror from the bag. “Jokes on you, I’m getting a salad.”
“And some fries?”
“...Mmmmm…” Vil hummed to himself as he adjusted his eyeshadow. “I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.”
Leona turned around in his seat to back up. As he did so, he continued to speak. “You can’t not get fries. They’re like the entire thing with fast food.”
“What is… fast food?”
As Malleus spoke, the car suddenly braked as Leona suddenly looked at him. After a moment, he let out a large laugh. “Buddy.” He reached out to pat Malleus’ shoulder.
“You’re in for a whole new world.”
~~~
Leona took a sip from his Dairy King blizzard. The crown he had stolen from Vil’s meal fell from his head as he chewed, too small for him.
Vil adjusted the crown on his boyfriend's head as he took a bite from his Burger Queen chicken fries dejectedly, his salad forgotten.
Malleus took a sip from his McDonalds Grimace shake.
He didn’t know why, but something as small as this made his heart feel at peace. He had just spent an entire day with his friends, not alone like he had become accustomed to, but with others who willingly chose to spend time with him rather than recoil in fear.
He wasn’t immune to Leona’s antagonistic feelings towards himself, however…
Malleus in this moment, had never felt happier.