Work Text:
***
Everyone knew Jongho didn't like skinship.
The other touchier members had been shoved off and punched (lightly) in the stomach enough times to steer clear of him when it came to cuddles.
It was probably Hongjoong and Seonghwa who didn't try to do stuff like that with him.
And Yeosang.
Yeosang-hyung wasn't big on PDA himself, but he didn't refuse it when it was offered and enjoyed being close to the other members that way. He just wouldn't initiate it the same way WooSan or YunGi would.
It was fine. Jongho preferred it that way. Less hassle, less embarrassment, less cringe. He didn't need to cuddle or kiss or hug like the others did. He showed his love in other ways and that had to be enough.
But it wasn't. And Jongho didn't want to accept it until it was too late.
---
Jongho didn't know what was wrong with him.
He felt bad. Like he was sick, and tired, but it was sinking deep into his bones and making his skin itch. It made him irritable, as much as he hated it. He snapped at the members more easily now, regretting it immediately after.
Hongjoong had pulled him aside once to check on him and all Jongho could do was give a half-assed excuse about stress. It seemed to work, because the older male left with some soothing words of encouragement and a pat on the shoulder. But for some reason, it was that pat that made Jongho feel different. Unfortunately, the way he tensed up at the touch sent Hongjoong taking his hand away.
He just got worse over time. Suddenly he was realising just how much his "aversion" to touch had become so normal for the other members that he couldn't even imagine asking for a little bit.
But even with how bad he felt, seeing WooSan's aggressive skinship with each other and YunGi's more subtle but thorough one overwhelmed him with just the thought. He craved it, but it simultaneously made him queasy and uncomfortable from just imagining the overstimulation. So he kept it to himself.
He probably should've told someone. Like Hongjoong. Or Seonghwa.
Or... Yeosang.
Sweet, kind Yeosang.
Jongho never felt overwhelmed with him. He loved his other hyungs, but Yeosang was just a perfect person through and through. He couldn't admit it out loud, but he knew that Yeosang was his favourite.
The quiet male felt like a safe place, and Jongho never felt the need to be as loud and boisterous as he needed to be outside whenever they were together.
Yeosang took care of him in his own way as well, giving him space when he needed it and just content with existing together. Jongho had always loved how chill their relationship was, but now he found himself craving more.
---
It happened one evening.
Jongho had been feeling horrible the whole day. His vocal lessons hadn't gone as smoothly as he would've liked, and his focus during dance practice had suffered. As the members poured into the dorm at the end of the day (even Hongjoong. I know, I'm surprised too) he shuffled tiredly to the kitchen for some water.
He was so high-strung that he didn't notice someone come in until they were right beside him. He yelped, startled, and jumped away to face a puzzled Seonghwa.
"Jongho? Are you okay?"
The younger blinked at the question before answering jerkily.
"Y-Yeah! I'm fine. You just surprised me that's all."
"Oh... okay," Seonghwa said with a smile. Jongho nodded and went to pass by the older boy but then the latter moved and lightly brushed his arm. Jongho flinched from the touch, before clearing his throat and stepping away. Seonghwa looked at him with concern on his face.
"Are you sure you're okay, Jjongie?"
"I'm fine!" the maknae blurted, before realising how loud his voice had been. He cleared his throat a bit before trying again.
"I'm- I'm fine. Just tired. Gonna go to my room."
Seonghwa watched him a bit more before breaking into a hesitant smile.
"Okay. Rest all you need," the oldest said.
His hand moved up a bit, probably to reach out and tussle Jongho's hair or pat him like how he did with the other members when he wanted to show some comfort but to Jongho's dismay, the hand went back down again.
Jongho swallowed down the pang in his chest at the action and left the kitchen, leaving Seonghwa puzzled on whether he missed something.
As he passed the living room to the bedrooms, he spotted the resident soulmate couple cuddling and giggling on the couch as they watched something on San's phone. They were so wrapped around each other that Jongho could barely tell where one began and the other ended. He looked away from them, trying to quell the aching in his chest, only for his eyes to land on the only other person in the room.
Yeosang sat by himself in one of the armchairs, watching something on his phone as well. At the sight, the familiar itch on Jongho's skin crept back along with the growing ache in his chest. After a last glance at WooSan, he looked away, his feet moving to take him to his room.
Once inside, he stumbled to his bed, burying himself in the comforter as he tried to calm down. His eyes stung with each breath he took and it took a few more moments before he could calm down enough to feel like he wasn't on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Just then, a small knock came from the door.
"Jongho? Are you in there?" Yeosang's voice came after. Oh dear. Of all the hyungs to find him like this. When he took too long to respond, Yeosang spoke again.
"Jongho-ya, I'm coming in, okay?"
Sure enough, the sound of the door opening and closing was soon heard and Jongho heard the sound of socked feet step closer and closer until Yeosang was right at his bedside. The soft sound of shuffling until-
"Jjongie?"
Yeosang's voice was quiet but close, dripping with concern. Jongho hesitated for a bit, but in the end he couldn't help but pull the comforter away from his face to see his hyung.
"H-hyung... What are you doing here?"
Yeosang smiled softly from where he was sitting on the floor by Jongho's bedside.
"Just checking up. How are you?" he asked. Jongho blinked and looked away.
"I'm fine, hyung. Just... tired," he answered, but it sounded weak to his own ears. So clearly Yeosang wasn't buying it either.
"Jjong-ah. I'm sorry but I can't accept that. I saw you before you left the living room, and Seonghwa-hyung looked off when he came out as well. You've been more withdrawn these past few weeks. Please tell hyung what's wrong? I'm worried, baby bear."
The endearment brought a painful lump to Jongho's throat. He figured he shouldn't be surprised that Yeosang noticed. For how quiet and chill the older was, he was a lot more observant than he let on.
Jongho took a deep breath, not sure what to even say. Yeosang, realising the difficulty, changed tactics.
"Or, if you can't say it now, that's fine too. Just- is there anything I can do to make it better? Or would you like me to get one of the others-"
"No!" Jongho all but yelled. "No, hyung. Please stay."
"Okay. Of course, Jjongie," he replied with a smile. "Is there anything else you need?"
Jongho swallowed, hesitant to ask for what he craved. But the eager-to-help look on Yeosang's face encouraged him to try.
"Can you- can you hold my hand, hyung?"
Jongho had never heard his own voice come out so small. After a brief double take, Yeosang's smile widened sweetly and he nodded.
"Of course I can, darling," he answered, immediately bringing up his hand to lay it palm up on the bed.
He didn't reach for Jongho's hand at once, waiting for the maknae to reach out whenever he was ready. Jongho stared at the open hand for a while before taking his own out and reaching out to clasp it like a lifeline. The feeling of warm skin against his own made his breath stutter as he gripped the other hand tighter, closing his eyes to process it.
"Oh Jjongie..." he heard, Yeosang's voice soft and soothing. A gentle hand brushed through his hair and he immediately leaned into it. "Is this all you need? Would you like me to do more?"
Jongho shook his head, opening his eyes but still not looking at the older male.
"No. This... this is perfect. I think any more would be too much."
"Okay."
Jongho looked at him then.
"You asked what was wrong... Hyung, I don't know," Jongho confessed. Yeosang nodded, his hand still coursing through Jongho's hair.
"That's fine. But can you try to explain how you feel? So we can figure it out together?"
The maknae chewed on his bottom lip briefly before trying to do what Yeosang suggested.
"You guys know I don't do... skinship a lot. And you've all respected that. But now... anytime I see you all being touchy with each other, something heavy sits in my chest and makes me crave the same thing. But at the same time just the thought of it makes me uneasy. I'm scared that it would be-"
"-Too much," Yeosang finished for him. Jongho confirmed it with a nod. "And you can't ask because you're worried that it might be worse than better?"
Jongho nodded again, "I don't know how to handle it like the others do. I love you guys, but the others can be a bit... much. I've never needed touch so much. Only with family. But now I'm torn between wanting it or being scared of it. I don't want it to go wrong, hyung."
"I understand, Jongho. It’s okay if you feel this way for something like this. Thank you for telling me," Yeosang said. Jongho gave him a small smile.
"Of course, hyung. Thank you for listening."
Yeosang returned the smile with one of his own.
"I'm just glad you trusted me enough to help you. At least, I think I may have an idea on what the issue is."
"You do?"
"Yeah. You may be touch-starved." Jongho cocked his head curiously.
"Touch-starved? But I'm not that affectionate?"
"You're human, Jjongie. You don't need to be as touchy or affectionate as WooSan to miss touch. And it doesn’t have to be cuddles and hugs all the time. At least the little things are fine. With people you're comfortable with, of course. You mentioned you were okay with touch from family, so maybe when you got here you hadn't reached that point with us yet. But maybe you have now, which is why it’s more difficult to ignore.
“Touch isn't the only way to show affection, but it can still be significant. Just in different levels. Does that make sense?" Yeosang asked as he finished explaining. Jongho nodded.
"It does. I guess I never thought of it that way. But what do I do now? I can't just go ask everyone to pat me. It’s weird," he pouted. Yeosang giggled at that. Jongho wondered if there was a way he could bottle that giggle up and keep it close to his heart.
"I get it, Jjong. But your hyungs love you. Just be clear on what you can tolerate and they'll be more than willing to do their best for you. And if you still need a break-" he squeezed Jongho's hand briefly, "-hyung is always here to just hold your hand. Okay?"
Jongho's eyes stung but his lips curved up happily.
"Thank you, hyung."
***
Jongho chewed on his lip nervously.
After his time with Yeosang, he had decided to take the older member's suggestion seriously.
So now here he was.
He and the members were in the practice room taking a break before they went to their different schedules. They were sprawled around aimlessly, most of them on their phones or chatting with each other. Hongjoong and Mingi were going back and forth about lyrics and producer stuff, while Yunho, Yeosang and WooSan were looking at some choreos on one of their phones.
So that left Seonghwa.
The oldest member was sitting against the wall, watching a video on his phone intently.
Apart from Yeosang, Seonghwa was probably the most mellow member to choose for an issue like this. Jongho swallowed dryly, steeling himself for what he was about to do.
He walked over to his hyung's side and without saying anything, sat by his side and placed his head on the older one's shoulder. The sudden contact seemed to startle Seonghwa slightly because he jolted a bit and turned to Jongho.
"Oh, Jongho-ya. Hi," he greeted with a smile.
If he was surprised that Jongho had initiated skinship, he didn't show it much and simply turned back to what he was watching (his own... fancam?), allowing Jongho to relax with the close contact. At a point, Jongho had looked up and met Yeosang's eyes from across the room. The other had smiled at him and that was enough to send Jongho's heart fluttering. He smiled back nonetheless.
After that successful attempt, Jongho started moving to the other members.
Hongjoong was next since Jongho knew that their Captain was also not one for too much skinship and wouldn't jump to take it further. Sure enough, when he sat behind Hongjoong to perch his chin over the older's shoulder as the group monitored one of their stages, all that the older member did was glance at him briefly before ruffling his hair a bit and turning back to the screen.
Jongho was on a roll now.
His next target was Mingi. The tall hyung was adorable and affectionate as he never had an issue with showing that affection, but he and Jongho had a special bond and Mingi tended to pick up on a few more things that the others (except Yeosang) didn't.
Jongho tried to do more this time, so at a fan meeting as they engaged with the fans up on stage after signing, he stood next to the taller male and wrapped an arm around his waist.
Hyped up and giggly from the excitement of the fan meet, Mingi grinned happily at him and threw an arm over his shoulders, keeping him close but not suffocating him. Eventually they parted and Jongho made his way over to sit next to a smiling Yeosang.
"I'm proud of you, Jjongie," he said. Jongho's ears heated up at the praise.
"I'm just taking your advice, hyung."
Yeosang just chuckled.
"And you're happy. Not just you, but the others too. Your happiness brings them joy."
Jongho's breath stuttered and he looked away, shyness overtaking him again.
A finger poked at Jongho's and the maknae looked down to see Yeosang's hand laying invitingly between them. With a smile, he slid his own hand into his hyung's and they sat there peacefully until Hongjoong called all of them together.
---
After a while, Jongho started to realize that the other members had started noticing his change in behaviour.
Like one evening when the 99z were watching a movie in the living room, except for Mingi who was resting in his room. Jongho had found his next victim, Yunho, and sauntered over to sit next to him on the carpet and plop his head in the taller one's lap. Yunho, who was chatting with the others about the movie, simply patted Jongho's hair without breaking his conversation. Jongho appreciated the nonchalance.
But the moment of peace was short-lived because once Wooyoung noticed them, he got excited and began to waddle over. Seeing him get closer, Jongho panicked and kicked at him, his foot finding its target in Wooyoung's tummy. With an oof, Wooyoung went stumbling back and tumbling to the floor. Jongho lifted his head to check on him.
"Sorry hyung. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Wooyoung wheezed as his partner cackled at him.
"You should know better than to jump Jongho like that," San taunted. Wooyoung pouted at that.
"Sorry. They looked so comfy. I wanted to join in."
Feeling bad now, Jongho decided that he might as well kill two birds with one stone.
"You can perch on the side or something, hyung. I don't mind. Just don't try anything funny."
And then, he blurted it out.
"I don't feel like doing a lot of skinship, but just a little is fine."
At the admission, the others went silent a bit before bright smiles lit up their faces.
"That's fine! I can do minimal skinship if it makes our maknae more comfortable."
"Me too! Can I join?" San added. Wooyoung scowled at him.
"You were just giving me crap for the same thing! Traitor!"
The two continued to bicker as Yunho laughed at their antics above Jongho.
The youngest chuckled at them as he put his head back down. As he got more comfortable, he turned his gaze to Yeosang who was already staring at him with a smile on his face. That smile only grew wider when Jongho met his gaze, and the maknae felt his ears heat up.
Eventually, WooSan stopped bickering long enough to take up Jongho's offer to minimally cuddle with him. So now Jongho's had two heads on either thigh, not too much but warm and touchy enough. Yunho's lap was so warm and comfortable that Jongho soon found himself dozing. As his eyes drifted shut, he caught snippets of the new turn in conversation. He tried to stay awake to hear more.
"-ooks so cute like that-"
"-realized he's become more touchy?"
"Like skinship?"
"Yeah"
"Not with me though."
"Or me."
"Wooyoung, San, that's probably because you two will try to kiss him."
"But I want Jjongie cuddles too, YeoYeo!"
"Then tone it down a bit. You guys heard him today, keep it that way. Listen to him."
"Aishhh... easy. No need to rub it in our faces that you have a favourite."
The sound of spluttering was heard and more giggles. But Jongho's half-asleep mind was dwelling on one thing.
Favourite...?
Yeosang-hyung's... favourite...?
He was asleep a few moments later.
***
Yeosang was so proud.
Jongho, his darling baby bear was improving so well. Yeosang's heart had only got softer and fuzzier every time he witnessed Jongho reaching out to the other members. He could see how happy it made everyone involved and he couldn't help but praise the maknae on his efforts anytime he could, whether verbally or through other cues.
But although he was happy for his dongsaeng and his progress with the other hyungs, a selfish part of him revelled in the fact that Jongho had confided in him.
Jongho had explained his idea of the perfect balance when it came to his issue and much to Yeosang's smugness, the older male seemed to check all the boxes. After Jongho started on his self-care project, it wasn't uncommon for him to return to Yeosang's side if he got too overwhelmed. The knowledge that he was in some way Jongho's most comfortable person, only made the warm feeling that he got in his heart when he thought of the maknae grow tenfold.
Sitting in the living room now, he idly fiddled with his phone, scrolling through one social media or the other when he heard a small noise from the pile of boys on the carpet. Yeosang looked up.
The movie the others were watching had long since ended, and the guys were all sprawled on the floor in sleep. Yunho had his back leaning against the couch with his head resting on a throw pillow. Jongho was in the same position as he had been at first, lying across the taller man's lap, and now it looked like he was stirring awake. But he looked uncomfortable.
WooSan clung onto his legs, obviously having moved in their sleep and clutching him tighter. Yeosang didn't blame them as they were known to be cuddly sleepers, especially San, but Jongho was probably beginning to feel over-stimulated.
"Jongho-ya?" Yeosang called out in a whisper. The youngest heard and turned to him, his face scrunched up slightly.
"Hyung..."
Yeosang smiled and got to his feet.
He made his way over to the cuddle pile and gently helped Jongho get free. WooSan whined in tandem as he did so, but Yeosang soothed them and they fell back asleep right after. Yeosang made a mental note to wake them up later to get to bed. He turned to Jongho who was rubbing his eye sleepily.
"Do you want to get to bed now, Jjongie?"
Jongho nodded in reply so Yeosang helped him up with a fond smile.
Jongho shuffled cutely next to him as they went to their room, their hands somehow managing to find each other. He tucked Jongho into bed and got up to go but as he did, he felt a hand grab his once more.
"Hyung, stay?" came Jongho's sleepy pouty voice. Yeosang smiled and drew closer to pet Jongho's hair.
"I will, sweetheart. Promise. I just have to get the others to bed too," he explained. Jongho's pout didn't leave his face, but he still nodded in understanding.
"Okay. Hurry."
And how could Yeosang delay after that?
Luckily he had some extra help, as Seonghwa had come out while he was gone and was already working on getting them awake. They managed to wake the others and got them to go to bed. Wooyoung was still attached to San, so in the end they just shuffled to San's bed. Yunho changed directions to the only solo room in the dorm, completely forfeiting his own bed for the night in favour of sharing with another.
After saying goodnight to everyone, Yeosang returned to his room.
"Sangie-hyung?" was what he heard the moment he opened the door and walked in.
"Yeah. It's me, Jjong. You're not asleep yet?" he asked with a soft smile. The maknae hummed as Yeosang sat on the bed.
"Was waiting for you," he clarified. Yeosang's heart clenched. He climbed into the bed, getting under the comforter.
"Hyung's here."
Jongho, already dozing again, nodded sluggishly.
"Mm... Hyung is always here," he mumbled. He brought up a hand between their faces and Yeosang wasted no time in sliding his own under it, interlocking their fingers.
"Better?" Yeosang queried, smiling at Jongho's sleepy face.
The maknae nodded, a slow dopey smile curving his lips. He shifted closer, bringing their bodies and faces much closer. Yeosang felt his heart stutter at the closer proximity.
"More than. Thanks hyung."
Yeosang reached up with his free hand to run it through Jongho's fluffy hair.
"Anything for you, Jjongie."
As he soothed the younger boy to sleep, Yeosang gazed at his face.
There was so much fondness and adoration he felt for Jongho that sometimes he felt like throwing all caution to the wind and being painfully honest about it. But he couldn't. Not yet at least.
This was fine for now.
His hand lowered from Jongho's hair to his face where it rested, tenderly stroking the smooth round cheek.
This was fine. Because at the end of the day, Jongho found comfort in him. Jongho found balance with him. He knew the maknae loved his other hyungs, but the satisfaction of practically being Jongho's favourite would never cease to make that warm feeling in his chest grow.
Because just as much as Jongho had his heart in the palm of his hand, Yeosang had him.
Just like how San had Wooyoung, or Mingi had Yunho, or Seonghwa had Hongjoong. Yeosang had Jongho. And he would never let him go. Because hyung would always be there. For his dongsaeng.
"My baby bear," he whispered in the silence of the room. Jongho's skin under his palm warmed his heart.
"Mine."
***
The next few weeks continued like that. Jongho was getting more used to minimal skinship and initiating some of his own, and the other members were more than happy to indulge him, trying to be careful so as not to overdo it. Yeosang appreciated their efforts and he knew Jongho did too.
So it was fine when Jongho didn’t need to hold his hand as much. It just meant he wasn’t as overwhelmed by skinship as he used to be. That was a good thing. He wanted Jongho to be happy and comfortable no matter who he was with. Yeosang knew this.
So why did his chest still hurt every time Jongho didn’t catch his gaze, or reach for his hand? It’s not like he had stopped, it had just become noticeably less. At least to Yeosang. Or perhaps he was just overthinking it?
He sighed, blinking up at the ceiling of his room. He turned to look at Jongho’s side of the room where the maknae was still fast asleep. It was their day off and like most of the other members, Yeosang had planned to sleep in. Unfortunately he woke up early out of habit and couldn’t fall asleep again. With one last wistful sigh, he moved out of bed and got out of the room. He made his way to the kitchen, his ears picking up the faint sound of voices.
Getting there, he saw the two oldest members were already awake and in the kitchen. Hongjoong was seated behind the counter, a mug of what Yeosang presumed to be coffee in one hand and his phone in the other. Draped over him was a still sleepy-looking Seonghwa, hugging the Captain from behind with his face buried in the smaller man’s neck.
“Good morning.”
The two hyungs turned to Yeosang and for a brief moment no one said anything. Then Seonghwa sleepily smiled.
“Mornin’ Sangie,” he answered for both of them. Hongjoong just gave a derpy smile :], the coffee still taking its precious time to kick in. Yeosang made his way over to the fridge to look for anything to eat.
“Fruit…” he heard. He turned in confusion.
“Huh?”
Hongjoong just chuckled, placing down his phone. “Hwa means to say that there’s some fruit in the fridge. I brought some from the company last night.”
Sure enough, Yeosang spotted a few plastic containers of mixed fruit in the fridge. He took one and settled down on another counter seat with a mumbled thanks, absentmindedly popping a cube of… some fruit in his mouth. Oh, mango. He chewed on it slowly, zoning out.
“What’s up with you?”
Yeosang jolted and turned to face his hyungs. Hongjoong, who had just spoken, was staring at him with furrowed brows. Seonghwa was doing the same, but a more groggy and out-of-it version. Yeosang chuckled nervously.
“What- there’s nothing.”
Hongjoong narrowed his eyes.
“Nothing’s the matter? You sure?”
“Yeah. I should even be asking you that.”
Surprised at the change in target, Hongjoong blinked.
“What?”
“I mean Seonghwa-hyung. He’s a morning person, so why is he still so sleepy right now?” Yeosang asked. At the question, a spray of pink found its way to both hyungs’ cheeks. Seonghwa cleared his throat, suddenly blinking and seeming more awake.
“I- that- I stayed up late waiting for Hongjoong to get back, that’s all.”
“You do that all the time though?”
Hongjoong buried his face in his hands, gathering himself before he looked up again.
“Don’t worry about it. And don’t change the subject either. We’re asking about you right now,” he scolded. Yeosang huffed, looking down at the forgotten fruit in front of him. He picked up another piece of fruit –a raspberry this time- and popped it into his mouth.
“Is it about Jongho?”
Yeosang stopped chewing. He was still for a moment before turning to Seonghwa. He finished eating the fruit in his mouth before speaking.
“Is it-” he swallowed, his throat dry. “Is it that obvious?” His voice came out quiet and hushed, as if he was afraid that admitting it would ruin everything. Seonghwa straightened up.
“Oh, Sangie…” he breathed. He and Hongjoong shared a look before the Captain straightened up and turned to the younger male.
“Do you… like him?” he asked. The reply was a timid nod. Yeosang had always been an honest person.
“It was fine, you know? Keeping it hidden. I was content with it. I didn’t want to impose my feelings on him if he didn’t return them. I still had him close, and that was enough. Guess I got greedy,” Yeosang confessed. Seonghwa sighed and went to his side. The oldest member chewed his bottom lip in thought, thinking of what to say.
“To be honest… I don’t exactly know what advice to give. But just be honest with him, like you were with us,” he finally said.
“You don’t have to tell him how you feel right away, though. You can be honest in your actions too. But this is Jongho. You don’t need anyone else in this team to tell you how much he adores you,” Hongjoong added. Yeosang scoffed.
“Yeah. As a hyung,” he said sulkily. Seonghwa chuckled and reached out to ruffle his hair.
“You never know, Sangie. Maybe it goes deeper than that. You won’t know unless you find out for sure.”
Yeosang sighed and nodded, earning a bright smile from Seonghwa who turned to Hongjoong, the other hyung smiling back. Yeosang huffed and leaned on Seonghwa’s shoulder, zoning out again now that the conversation was over. He mindlessly let Seonghwa feed him the rest of his fruit as he tuned out of the conversation the two oldest members had started having.
But then, he blinked as his eye caught something on Seonghwa’s collarbone, barely covered by the collar of his shirt. He leaned up to get a clearer look. A small dark purple mark, like a bruise. His brows furrowed and he let out a questioning hum. The noise drew Seonghwa’s attention back to him.
“What is it, Yeo?”
The younger male pointed at the bruise. “Did you get hurt here, hyung?”
To his further confusion, Seonghwa gasped and pulled his shirt collar up. He and Hongjoong shared a glance before Hongjoong was suddenly scrambling to his feet.
“I’m gonna go work on a few demos! Seonghwa do you mind helping out?”
“S-sure! Bye Sangie.” With a peck on his temple and a head pat, Seonghwa was out of his seat and following Hongjoong out before Yeosang had time to blink. When he finally did, it was purely out of confusion.
“What…? And here I was thinking I was the one acting strange.”
Eventually he made his way out of the kitchen and to the living room. Getting there, he glanced at a figure on the couch before stopping in his tracks.
“Good morning, hyung,” Jongho smiled at him. Yeosang smiled back.
“Good morning. When did you get up?”
Jongho placed his phone down. “Not long ago. Couldn’t sleep any longer.”
Yeosang hummed and moved to the couch to plop down too. He rested his head back and closed his eyes for a bit. He heard a bit of shuffling from the boy by his side, and then there was a hand sliding into his own. His eyes blinked open.
“Hm? Did something happen?” he asked, concerned. But Jongho just chuckled and moved closer to place his head on the older male’s shoulder.
“No, hyung. I’m fine. I just… wanted to hold your hand. Is that okay?”, he replied, sounding a bit unsure at the end. Yeosang squeezed his hand in assurance.
“It’s perfectly fine, Jjongie. I told you, hyung’s always here if you need this,” he assured. Jongho smiled at him.
“I know. Thank you, hyung.”
Yeosang felt that familiar squeeze of his heart, but he still gave Jongho a soft smile and nuzzled against his hair.
“Anything for you, bear.”
They snuggled comfortably like that for a while, content to just relax. Jongho was just about to doze off again when Yeosang suddenly jolted him with a loud gasp.
“What? What is it?” Jongho mumbled. Yeosang shifted his attention from where he was looking in the direction of their rooms and turned to Jongho with a look of realization on his face.
“That wasn’t a bruise,” he finally said. At Jongho’s confusion, he added, “Seonghwa-hyung. And… Hongjoong-hyung…?”
Jongho stared at him silently for a while, glancing at the bedrooms as well, before dissolving into giggles.
“Ah hyung seriously… you’re too cute,” he finally said, settling back onto his former position on Yeosang’s shoulder. The latter felt his cheeks heat up at the comment. He’d heard it so much from others, but from Jongho?
He really needed to get his shit together. He wasn’t going to last much longer at this rate.
***
That evening, Jongho made up his mind. He didn't like to drag things on for too long, so he figured he might as well get a head start.
He got up from the couch, heading towards the bedrooms. He didn't have to worry about the others; Wooyoung and Yeosang were on kitchen duty while San was keeping them company. Jongho could hear their chatter and laughter from where he was.
On his way to the room he was headed to, he passed by Mingi's room, the door slightly ajar.
There were muffled giggles and low mumbles coming from inside, as well as the telltale shuffling and rustling of sheets. Jongho passed by.
Once he was in front of the door, Jongho knocked.
It was silent for a while before he heard some shuffling and moving around. He also vaguely heard mumbles before a voice called out, "Who is it?"
"Seonghwa-hyung? It’s me, Jongho. Can I come in? I need to talk to you guys."
Silence again, before; "Come in."
When Jongho opened the door, it was to the sight of a ruffled looking but smiling Seonghwa but a disgruntled looking Hongjoong, both men seated on the bottom bed. Well, Seonghwa was seated. Hongjoong was fully reclined and leaning against the oldest member.
"Sorry- did I interrupt something?" Hongjoong just grunted in response. Jongho grimaced.
"I'll take that as a yes. Maybe I'll just come back-"
"Just come in," Seonghwa cut him off with a chuckle. Jongho hesitated in the doorway for a moment before obeying and heading inside, closing the door behind him. He took a seat right on the floor, facing his hyungs. The older men stared at him expectantly.
"You know... you guys aren't really being subtle about what you're doing-"
"Jongho I swear to God-"
"Am I lying tho-"
"Okay okay that's enough!" Seonghwa interrupted the younger two. Hongjoong was already grumpy from the first interruption and Seonghwa didn’t want his mood to go down more. "Jongho, what did you need to talk about?"
The maknae mellowed at the question, chewing his lip in thought for a moment before straightening up and taking a breath.
"Hyungs. I like Yeosang-hyung."
Silence.
The three members blinked at each other before Hongjoong spoke. "I- what- is that it? Isn't this an introduction to the main point?"
"Ah, that..." Jongho scratched the nape of his neck. "I didn't realise you knew already."
Hongjoong sighed while Seonghwa facepalmed. The captain finally sat up properly.
"Jongho-ya. You guys are just as obvious as us," he deadpanned. Seonghwa smacked him on the arm at the slip of "you guys". Yeosang hadn’t told Jongho yet so it wasn’t their place-
"I know," Jongho answered, taking them aback. He chuckled when they turned to him in surprise. "I heard the conversation in the morning. So I already know he likes me... but doesn't think I like him back? But how? How could he not know?"
"Tell him then. He doesn't want to get his hopes up, so get them up for him. You know he likes you, and you like him the same way. There's only one way to go from here."
Jongho pursed his lips at Seonghwa’s suggestion and nodded, looking determined. Finally, he got to his feet.
"Okay hyungs. Thanks. I'll leave you two alone now. Good talk," he said, already walking to the door. But then he remembered something and turned.
"Ah- dinner will be ready in a while. But don't worry, I'll make sure they knock first," he teased. Hongjoong cursed under his breath and turned to grab a pillow. It was launched at the door the moment Jongho slipped out, a smug smile on his face.
He went to the kitchen drawn in by the noise that had only gotten louder.
Yunho and Mingi had joined the others, narrating one story or the other that was causing the others to crack up. Jongho leaned on the doorway and watched.
Yeosang was giggling away, the very image of joy. Jongho was smitten.
And he needed to do something about it.
***
A few hours later found all the members gathered in the living room, finishing up their dinner while watching a drama that Mingi and San were quite... emotionally invested in. Yunho and Wooyoung were busy giggling at the two men sniffling in their arms.
Eventually, the dishes were packed away and the lights were dimmed. Everyone was still either watching the drama or fiddling with their phones. Then next to him on the couch, Yeosang heard a muted yawn.
He glanced over to where Hongjoong and Seonghwa sat curled into each other, the smaller man rubbing his eyes a bit sleepily.
Seonghwa turned to him and with that soft voice of his, asked, "Sleepy?"
Hongjoong simply hummed back, but it was enough to bring a soft smile to Seonghwa’s face. He looks so fond, Yeosang thought at that moment, even as a vague feeling of familiarity hit him. But he couldn't dwell on it for long because the oldest members were shuffling to their feet.
"We're going to bed, kids," Seonghwa announced. The rest of the members replied with okays and goodnights as the two moved to their room.
"You guys need to get to bed too," Hongjoong said, turning to them. This time the replies were more whiny.
"But Appaaa~~" Wooyoung whined.
"Ah ah. No whining. We have schedules tomorrow. You know the drill."
"Just one more episode?" San pouted this time. Hongjoong contemplated it for a while before walking back and grabbing the remote. He checked the amount of time left for the episode which was about an hour.
"Finish this one and get to bed. Its almost 10 already. Yunho-yah, get them to sleep after this episode."
"Yes Appa!" the third oldest saluted. Hongjoong just chuckled and waddled back to a smiling Seonghwa’s side before the two of them finally retired to their room, a chorus of goodnights seeing them off.
Now that that had happened Yeosang also decided to call it a night. He said as much and got to his feet, earning a few pouty goodnights as well.
As he began to walk down the hallway, a voice stopped him.
"Hyung."
Yeosang turned to see Jongho walking up to him.
"Hey. Need anything?" Yeosang asked. Jongho just smiled.
"Just going to bed too," he answering, coming up beside the older man. He took a breath before speaking again. "Can I hold your hand tonight?"
Yeosang's heart began its familiar dance. He didn't answer with words, only holding out a hand for Jongho to grab. The maknae did just that and they made their way to their room.
They were ready for bed in no time, with Jongho getting to the bed first as Yeosang finished up in the bathroom.
***
"Jongho?"
The younger male looked up where Yeosang stood with a hand raised up to the light switch. He looked radiant, Jongho mused, his hair fluffy and his clean skin glowing and fresh, the splotch of pigment at his temple beautifully prominent against the fair skin. He tilted his head at the younger.
"What's wrong? You were zoned out for a bit," he asked. Jongho shook his head, smiling.
"It’s nothing, hyung. I just got lost in my thoughts," he assured, then held out a hand. "Hurry and come to bed now?"
Yeosang looked flustered for a bit but he managed to turn off the lights and amble over to the bed. The moment he was settled in and facing Jongho, the latter wasted no time reaching out to clasp their hands, interlocking their fingers.
The window was open and the light from outside reflected into the room, bathing everything in a very light glow, just enough that you could see with a bit of strain.
"I should... probably close the blinds...," Yeosang trailed off. Jongho clasped his hand tighter instead.
"No. This is perfect," he said, then reached up with his other hand to tuck Yeosang's hair back, exposing his birthmark. "I can see you this way."
***
Yeosang's heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest.
With his fingertips lingering at Yeosang's temple, Jongho stared at the older male with a look all too familiar and yet, Yeosang felt like he was finally seeing it properly for the first time.
It was how Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong.
Fondness. Adoration. Lov-
He blinked. No. He couldn't get ahead of himself.
"Hm? What are you thinking, hyung?" Jongho's voice filtered through his thoughts.
"No- nothing. It's nothing. I thought you wanted to sleep early?" Yeosang replied. Jongho's lips curled up.
"I want to look at you a bit more," he answered softly. Yeosang felt his cheeks heat up at that.
"Beautiful."
Yeosang was shutting down. Jongho didn't seem to care either way because the hand previously tucking Yeosang's hair away was now lightly placed on his cheek, a thumb stroking his birthmark tenderly.
"Jongho-"
"Do you like me, hyung?"
Yeosang froze. Jongho's hand stilled on his cheek, but he didn't move. Only held Yeosang's gaze.
"I... what?" the older man breathed, out of words. And thoughts.
"I'm asking if you like me, hyung."
The repeated question processed a bit better and Yeosang found himself jolting.
"Ah- that-," he stuttered.
What was he thinking? He had been too obvious. There was no way Jongho was looking at him like that. He had to be imagining it. All this was just to soften the blow of his rejection. He tried to move away, pulling his hand back.
"Nope," Jongho stopped him, gripping his hand tighter and moving closer to reclaim the tiny distance created.
"This is mine for tonight. No taking it back. Especially not now," he said, gesturing to their clasped hands. Yeosang swallowed and looked away, biting his lip nervously.
"Hyung. Will you really not answer?"
Yeosang hesitantly brought his eyes back up to meet Jongho's. The younger was looking at him tenderly, an expression so familiar to him that Yeosang could see it even in little light.
"I feel like you already know the answer to that question," he finally said, his voice a mere whisper.
"I want to hear it from you."
Yeosang let out a shaky exhale.
"...I do," he admitted, looking away again. Instead, he focused on their clasped hands.
"I like you. So much. So much that my heart skips when you even just look at me. And it dances when you smile. Your touch heats my skin and makes me feel like I'm melting on the inside. And anytime I'm with you... I feel safe, and warm. I can't help it. I never stood a chance."
He finally looked up to meet Jongho's eyes.
"Is that the answer you wanted?" he mumbled. Jongho smiled.
"Yeah," he answered. His hand came up to cradle Yeosang's jaw. "That was perfect, hyung."
Then his lips were on Yeosang's.
It only lasted a few seconds but before Yeosang could process the feeling of the younger man’s lips on his, Jongho was pulling away. Yeosang stared at him wide-eyed.
"What..."
"I like you too, hyung," Jongho confessed. "So much that my chest feels all warm and fuzzy when I hear your laugh, and the butterflies in my stomach go completely crazy when you look at me too. You're the only one who's hand I can hold like this because you feel like comfort. You understand me, even when you don't realize you do. You're beautiful, and talented and so, so kind. I never stood a chance either, hyung."
At the end of that, all Yeosang could do was stare.
"You... like me? Back?"
"How could I not?"
Yeosang just kept staring.
"Again."
Jongho hummed questioningly, "Hm? What again?"
"A kiss. Again," Yeosang clarified, before he was moving forward and capturing the younger's lips this time.
Jongho wasted no time reciprocating, reaching down to wrap a hand around Yeosang's waist and pull him closer. The older sighed into the kiss, pressing as close as he could to the other. Jongho's lips were soft but pressed against his firmly, sliding heatedly against his. They eventually parted and Jongho rested his forehead against Yeosang's. The latter swallowed, gaining his bearings.
"Is this... is this really okay?" he asked, his voice a whisper. Jongho chuckled.
"I kissed you first, hyung. Don't you think I'm okay with it?"
"I just wanted to be sure. I'm still a bit shook right now."
Jongho smiled and pressed Yeosang closer.
"I want this. I want you. I want to kiss you and pull you close. And hold your hand everyday. If you want to, I mean. If you need more time-"
"No, no. I've been patient for this long; I can't do it much longer now that I finally have you. I want to kiss you and pull you close too. And hold your hand too. Always."
Jongho beamed and placed another kiss on Yeosang's lips before leaning over him and kissing his cheeks, eyelids, birthmark and everywhere he could get, Yeosang giggling as he did. Then he drew back and stared contentedly.
"Beautiful."
***
"Why is it always the kitchen?"
Jongho snickered next to a disgruntled Yeosang. Yunho and Mingi stood next to each other at the counter, their faces steaming and red at being caught.
"We didn't think anyone was out yet," Yunho chuckled sheepishly, thumbing at his swollen lips. Mingi just thunked his head on the countertop, hiding his face. Jongho snorted, walking up to the counter and taking a seat with Yeosang by his side.
"I don't think you have to worry about it. Even Matz are doing something. Yeosang-hyung saw a hickey on Seonghwa-hyung yesterday."
The two taller men gasped, Mingi shooting up from the counter.
"Really? Whoaaa..."
"Don't tell them though. They think they're doing a good job hiding it."
“I don’t know why they’re even bothering though…” Yeosang drawled.
"It’s about damn time either way," Wooyoung grumbled from behind them. San hung off his back as they walked in, yawning.
"We were wondering when everyone would get their shit together."
"You're one to talk. Want us to remind you how upset you got when you thought San only saw you as a 'friend'?" Yunho retorted. Wooyoung pouted as San chuckled and nuzzled into his neck.
"You were so cute back then."
"I was distraught, San-ah."
"Still cute."
Yeosang giggled, his hand in Jongho's warm and soft.
Jongho turned to him with fondness in his gaze. He gave the slender hand in his a small squeeze, prompting the older male to turn to him. No words were shared, just knowing smiles and tender caresses on each other's knuckles.
Their hands would find each other. Always.