Dancing With Our Hands Tied

by endless_starlight

Summary:

Once students have graduated Hogwarts (and are at least 18 years old), they are invited to stay over the summer for the "Courting Season". A time meant for all graduates to court and romance Victorian-style.

Despite not sending Sebastian to Azkaban, Eleanor is still haunted by that night two years later. She would have preferred to never speak to Sebastian again until they are forced together in a school project. This paves the way for understanding between the two.

An understanding which leads to mixed and complicated emotions while they each deal with the drama of Courting Season.

Chapter 1: time can heal, but this won't

“Leander is looking at you,” Poppy whispered as we were eating breakfast.

I paused my spoon halfway to my mouth in confusion. “Am I doing something strange? Why would he be staring?”

Poppy looked at me like I had asked her why the sky was blue. “Because he is interested in you of course! Haven’t you noticed all the 7^th year boys giving you more attention lately?”

I scrunched my nose at the idea of it. “I suppose now that you mention it, I have noticed that some people like Garreth trying to be attentive to me in class.”

“See!” Poppy cried excitedly. “Everyone is getting excited for the summer. Once we can all finally begin courting properly after graduating. Of course, some people can’t be bothered to wait... I have definitely seen a few people sneaking a kiss or holding hands. But most of us are eagerly awaiting the chance to finally find the one who we shall marry.”

“Oh, and who are you eyeing dear Poppy?” I teased with a fond grin.

Poppy immediately blushed and looked down at the eggs on her plate. I heard her mumble a name but did not understand.

After probing at her a bit, I finally heard her say “Ominis.”

“Ominis!” I slapped my hands to my mouth in delighted shock. “I am so pleased to hear that Poppy! You would make a wonderful couple and he deserves to have someone as loyal as you by his side.”

Poppy smiled shyly, the blush starting to ebb away. “I hope that it might be requited. But I will just be waiting impatiently to find out.”

At that moment Natty and Imelda joined us at the table.

“What are you two discussing so intensely this morning?” Natty asked while grabbing some toast and butter.

Poppy glanced at me, clearly hoping that I would not reveal what she had just shared.

“We were just gossiping a bit about who might be interested in who this coming summer,” I said nonchalantly.

Imelda snorted. “Its ridiculous that everyone cares this much. There are much more important things to aim for. Careers for one. I don’t have time for marriage if I want to be a Quidditch star.”

I had to hold back my smile. Imelda was nothing if not dedicated.

“I have to agree with Imelda,” Natty spoke up. “I see the value in wanting to find a good marriage partner. Having a family is important to me personally. But I get the impression that everyone around us is not thinking that way. They seem to be more excited at the idea of the romance itself.”

I hummed in thought. “It does seem that way. I see the point you are making Natty and I don’t disagree. But I have to admit that the idea of just fun this summer does appeal to me as well.”

After a brief pause, Poppy shyly asked, “Is there any one you might be interested in? I thought at one point maybe Se-“

“No,” I cut her off immediately. I did not want to hear her finish the name I knew she beginning to say. Sebastian and I had a strained relationship ever since I had decided to not turn him in. I had enough love and empathy in my heart for him that I could not bear the thought of him suffering in Azkaban. But seeing him go as dark as he did and kill his uncle was something that still haunted me. Just last night I awoke in a panic from a dream where Sebastian turned to me and muttered the killing curse. I have barely talked to him since that day and could not imagine that changing any time soon.

Poppy looked sadly at me. “I don’t understand whatever happened with you two. You were absolutely inseparable all of 5^th year and now you can’t even look at him.”

Imelda looked a little too invested waiting for my response.

I hesitated as I tried to think of a response that would satisfy their curiosity. “We had a falling out over a difference of beliefs. It was to the point that it was best for us to go our separate ways.”

I could tell they could not make much sense of this statement but Poppy and Natty were thoughtful enough to not push it any further.

Imelda, on the other hand, did not restrain herself. “Sebastian has always been hotheaded. It’s no wonder that you got tired of him. I am stuck with him in the same common room and he drives me mental.”

Without thinking, I glanced over at the Slytherin table where Sebastian was eating with a couple of 7^th year girls from all houses. He was openly smiling while chatting animatedly with them all. Clearly his charm was still working as much as ever based on how the girls were reacting to him. Nice to know that someone was not affected by everything that happened, I though bitterly to myself.

I could not help but roll my eyes as I looked away and back to Imelda. I could not read the look on her face and thankfully she kept whatever she was thinking to herself.

Suddenly several students around us stood and began to leave the Great Hall.

“I suppose it’s time for class,” I groaned. 7^th year was insanely hectic so far. The pressure of the NEWT exams were upon us and all the teachers decided the best way for us to handle the stress was to give us nonstop homework that kept us up all hours of the night.

Natty, Poppy, and Imelda all grimaced as well. Poppy and Natty had History of Magic coming up whereas Imelda and I were going to be heading to Potions. At least my class was interesting enough that I had no problem staying awake. History of Magic might in fact be the most boring class that has ever existed in the history of Hogwarts itself. I did myself the kindness of choosing to not continue with it after 5^th year.

We waved goodbye to each other as we parted ways to our first class of the day.

I automatically headed to my seat in Potions class while Imelda walked over to her seat further away. Ominis was already at our shared table readying the required supplies for today’s class.

“Good morning, Elle,” Ominis greeted me. I huffed in reply, still a bit annoyed by the discussion earlier.

Ominis raised an eyebrow at my response. “Rough morning?”

I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to bring up Sebastian to Ominis. It was a sensitive topic for both of us even after all this time.

“Poppy was talking about the courting season this morning. I suppose its just becoming more real now that we are almost through the year.”

“Ah,” Ominis nodded to himself. “Yes I have certainly heard it coming up much more often lately as well. Some people do have unrealistic expectations though, I must say.”

“Er…what do you mean by that?”

“Oh, I do forget sometimes that you are not familiar with our customs as much. There are those rules regarding classes. For example, Pureblood families generally will only approve of their child marrying another pureblood. Though sometimes there are exceptions like if the potential suitor is considered particularly powerful. There can be matches across classes if their magic is a match.”

“Hmm,” I stared off – thinking about Poppy expressing interest in Ominis. I knew her parents were magical but did not know if she was considered pureblood. I hoped that they would still be allowed to make a match based on their magic skills.

A bunch of giggling interrupted my train of thought. I looked over at the source of noise and it was a 7^th  year Slytherin laughing hard with her hand over her mouth at something Sebastian said. They had just entered the room and headed to the desk in the far corner.

“Ridiculous behavior,” I heard Ominis mutter. He was very much someone who prided himself on proper conduct in public.

Normally I would take this moment to tease him about loosening up a bit, but my annoyance at Sebastian’s fan club was really grating at me today.

“Settle down class,” Professor Sharp entered the room from his office and began today’s lesson.

Today’s potion was Thunderbrew which I had been brewing in the Room of Requirement for the past two and a half years.

Ominis and I divided up the responsibilities, though I took charge since I was already so familiar with it.

It was quiet while we worked but the sort of comfortable silence that comes with close friendship. We were very used to pairing up in class and out of class for assignments.

Ominis and I did have a rocky start of a relationship but after the shared experience of 5^th year, he and I began to rely on each other. There was no one else (besides Sebastian and Anne of course) that knew what happened, and so we only had each other to count on to come to terms with it all. Now, I would easily say that he is one of my closest friends.

I saw the dark purple potion bubbling in the cauldron and knew we were successful.

“I must say I do appreciate you being my potions partner Elle. Without you, I do not think I would be able to stay in this NEWT class,” Ominis said with a grateful smile.

“Oh hush Ominis. Yes Potions is a strength of mine but you are definitely the reason I am passing Arithmancy at the moment. We share our strengths with each other. That is what friends do.”

Ominis laughed slightly – no doubt recalling how we had to stay up all night studying for our most recent Arithmancy exam. Well, it was less of him studying and more of him teaching and quizzing me all night. Though I did end up passing the exam the next day. It was really remarkable actually considering that we had not slept at all. We both fell asleep in the Undercroft immediately after class was over and we did not wake up until the next morning. That was a painful awakening but at least we had conjured cushy chairs beforehand.

“Good work you two,” Professor Sharp said from behind us. I jumped slightly at his unexpected presence.

He moved on from us to the other tables, either complementing or advising each team on their potions.

I used the remaining class time to work on my essay for Transfiguration. It was due tomorrow and I still had several inches left to write. Next to me Ominis was reviewing the most recent Defense Against the Darks Arts reading.

Soon enough it was time for the 7^th year level for Charms. A majority of the class walked together as a group to the Charms class. It was small enough that all the 7^th years who had Charms took it together (as was also the case with Potions and any other 7^th year class). Anyone who chose to not take it for NEWT level split off to either another class or to take advantage of the time to study.

Ominis and I were towards the back of the group. Once we entered the class we realized that everyone was standing in a group rather than taking a seat. The reason became clear quickly – all the tables and chairs were gone.

“Hello class! I am sure you are all wondering what the change is all about! I thought it could be fun for us to have a creative project. I am going to put 4 people in each group and I want you to try to create your own charm! It could be something entirely new or a unique twist on something you already learned. This shall be ongoing for the next few weeks since of course you won’t be able to do this all today!”

Professor Ronen seemed extremely pleased with himself for this idea. I, on the other hand, was not so pleased. Sure if I was assigned my friends it could be good fun but there was no telling who would be in my group.

“Oh another twist – I am assigning this randomly so you won’t automatically be with your friends! Instead the added challenge will be learning to work with others who you may not always see eye to eye with. A great talent to have once you leave the school for your career.”

I grimaced at this and heard Ominis scoff. He did not like many people so the likelihood was low that he would enjoy working on this project.

“Groups are on the board!” Ronen tapped the blackboard and the names appeared. “Please find your group and find a place in the class to begin your work!”

My eyes skimmed over each name until I found my own.

Group 4:

Poppy Sweeting

Eleanor Porter

Duncan Hobhouse

Eleanor gasped softly as she read the last name: Sebastian Sallow

 

Notes:

This is the start of the multichapter story. I have been thinking on this idea for a couple of months now and I am so excited to share it!
If you would like to, I would really enjoy reading comments! It helps me to know what is working and not working in the story.

Chapter 2: Still got scars on my back from your knife

“Not a fan of your group?” Ominis asked while I was trying to come to terms with the idea that I would be facing Sebastian for our Charms project.

“You could say that,” I said as I chewed at my nail.

This was going to be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable to say the least. Bracing myself for the inevitable confrontation, I turned around to see if my group had started gather yet.

I saw Poppy standing with Duncan in the corner and headed over to them. At least Poppy would be with me.

“Elle! I am so pleased we are in the same group! I think this will be a lot of fun!” Poppy beamed at me.

I smiled back, it was hard to be too worried with Poppy so excited.

“Now we just need Sebastian,” Poppy said as she craned her neck and stood on her tiptoes, trying to see over everyone. “Ah there he is. Sebastian over here!” Poppy waved.

I purposefully avoided looking over at him even once he stood next to me.

“Okay let’s all get comfortable and start coming up with some ideas!” Poppy began, taking the lead. I was relieved she was. I was unsure I even had the ability to speak with how nervous I felt.

Squishy beanbags appeared next to each of us all of a sudden. I frowned down at mine wondering who conjured them.

“Oh, thanks, Sebastian! Great idea,” Duncan said as he took a seat. Poppy and Sebastian followed his lead. Not wanting to be the only one standing, I quickly took my seat as well.

Poppy pulled out some parchment and a quill. “What ideas does everyone have?”

There was silence for a few moments while everyone thought. I tried to think of what charms I often wish I knew but I was coming up blank.

“I have a thought,” Sebastian’s voice came from beside me. “I’ve often wished there was a way to just make yourself be happy. Like a cheering charm of some sort. Perhaps that is worth a try?”

I could not help but look over at him in shock. Was he just admitting that he struggled with being happy? Then I remembered his smile when surrounded by all those girls and decided that clearly that was not the case.

“Sounds very complex,” Poppy remarked, tapping her finger against her cheek while deep in thought.

“I’ve done a lot of studying on spells so I should able to get us started. I just need to reference a certain book first,” Sebastian said in an overly confident/

“Great!” Poppy wrote down Sebastian’s plans on the parchment.

“Duncan…Eleanor...any thoughts?” Despite Duncan also being mentioned, all three of them turned to look straight at me.

The last time Sebastian had looked at me was in 6^th year when he finally realized I was unwilling to continue our friendship. I still recalled the hurt in his eyes that flashed briefly before his expression went cold. I wondered if he was thinking about that moment now as well.

Trying to pretend to be unbothered by his eyes on me, I forced an expression on my face as though I were thinking some ideas out. “Well, honestly, I’m not sure how much help I will be here. Dueling I can do – but this is beyond my knowledge. Especially since I only came here in 5^th year.”

“Oh yeah…” everyone made noises like they had all forgotten that.

“Well Sebastian I think we should start with your idea and see how it goes then!” Poppy announced.

Sebastian ruffled his hair in thought. “All right. I will make sure to have that book with me for the next class. I shan’t let you all down!”

I mentally scoffed as I felt the buried pain rise to the surface of how much he did in fact let me down.

Everyone turned to stare at me. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, “Do you have something you would like to add, Porter?”

Oh no… I guess that scoff was not actually in my mind. I clenched my hand in lap briefly trying to find some excuse I could give.

“I was just doubtful that it would be so easy to do this using just one book,” I lied, albeit poorly.

Sebastian’s expression was impassive while he looked at me, though I knew better than to think that reason fooled him.

There was an awkward few seconds of silence before Poppy cleared her throat. “Well regardless of how many books we may or may not need, we have to start somewhere. So let’s start with Sebastian’s book and go from there.”

Thankfully Professor Ronen called out across the room, “Class is over but please make sure you have a plan for next class. See you all next time!”

I do not think I have ever been so relieved for class to be over before. Unfortunately, before I could get out the door, I heard Sebastian call my surname. Against my better judgement, I turned around and faced him.

I saw a glimmer of surprise in his otherwise emotionless face. “I would like to talk to you. Privately.”

No doubt seeing the hesitation in face, he quickly added on. “I think we need to make sure we can handle doing this project together. I don’t want a repeat of any other... incidents like today.”

I knew he had a point. Like it or not, he and I would be interacting a lot over the next few weeks. Ignoring each other would no longer work. I nodded my acceptance.

Sebastian took a deep breath before saying “Good. Glad we are on the same page then. Shall we meet after dinner? The hidden werewolf room should work. No one would interrupt us there.”

“Yes, I will be there.”

He nodded to himself then walked past me, through the doorway.

I let out a breath I did not realize I was holding.

****

Time seemed to be on fast forward for the rest of the day. I could barely remember what even happened in the remaining classes, my mind reeling over meeting Sebastian for our first proper face to face conversation in nearly 2 years. I could not bring myself to tell any of my friends (especially Ominis) about this. It was too much to even think about, much less talk about.

After a very tense dinner, where I barely said a word to my fellow Ravenclaws, I finally stood up and followed the path to the werewolf room. I steeled myself before walking through that last door.

Once inside, I immediately spotted Sebastian sitting on the ground. He must have been reading while he waited given the book in his hands. He smoothly stood, seemingly unbothered by the strangeness of this meeting.

“I am glad you came,” Sebastian started. “I know this is an uncomfortable situation with this project but we have to be able to work together.”

I nodded. “I will try to be on my best behavior. We can certainly be professional about this. I apologize for today – my response was not intended to be out loud.”

“Ah. Yes – well I will also endeavor to be a gentleman. We used to work well together... you and I. I am sure we can do that again for this project.”

I considered my next words briefly. I did not want to be unnecessarily cruel, but I also wanted us to go into this with clear expectations.

“Yes, I believe we can. I want to be clear though – we will not become friends again. This is just temporary.”

Sebastian grimaced ever so slightly. It was so subtle that I almost wondered if I was imagining it.

“Understood.”

With that I turned around to leave without looking back.

Chapter 3: Now that we don't talk

True to his word, Sebastian was perfectly polite to me during our class meetings. In turn, I was as well. It turned out that Sebastian did have a lot of knowledge about this topic. I would not have admitted it out loud, but he was a major asset to our team. I do not think we would have gotten nearly as far without him.

It also turned out that, apparently, I managed to forget just how charming and funny he was. Though the comments were never directed to me, I would find myself having to fight back a smile. It was infuriating since I was genuine in my desire to part ways with him permanently. And yet being around him again made me nostalgic for the fun times we had once had.

“And so Imelda comes flying into our common room absolutely furious. For some reason she was convinced that Violet was the one who hid her broom. They apparently had some squabble earlier that day. Next thing you know, there’s a full out duel in the common room. Imelda was hit with something that turned her completely purple. Hair and all. Well, you all know what Imelda’s like… She won’t take any slight against her. She ended up transfiguring part of Violet’s body into a horse. She looked like a bloody centaur –“

Giggles were slowly rising up my throat until finally I could not help it, I burst into laughter. The imagery that Sebastian created was so ridiculously silly.

Sebastian’s head pivoted to me so fast that I heard his neck crack. He looked very surprised but pleased with himself. I knew I should not be encouraging him but I was fighting a losing battle on my giggles.

“Well then, glad to see Porter over here still has a sense of humor,” Sebastian smiled.

I rolled my eyes good naturedly. “Oh, Sallow. I’ve always had a sense of humor. Maybe you’re just not as funny as you’d like to think you are.” It was a total lie of course, but he did not need to know that.

“And yet I have had many people tell me I’m both charming and clever,” he smirked, clearly enjoying the banter.

“Were any of these supposed people boys? Or just girls who were aimlessly flirting with you?”

Sebastian raised his eyebrow. “My, my,” he said cockily, “is the Hero of Hogwarts jealous?”

I snorted. “I have not been called that in ages. And no, I’m not jealous at all. It’s just very hard not to notice all the girls that like to follow you around.”

Sebastian once again looked surprised. “I didn’t know you even paid any attention to me anymore,” he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

Suddenly, the air between us felt tense. It was at this moment I suddenly remembered that Poppy and Duncan were sitting with us watching this entire exchange. I glanced over at them and saw that they both had matching expressions - wide-eyed and mouth slightly open.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Well, we should probably get back to designing this charm…”

The spell was suddenly broken and the other three immediately began resuming work on the charm.

I refused to look in Sebastian’s direction for the rest of class, though I felt his eyes on me constantly.

Internally, I was feeling so conflicted. It felt… good to be able to tease him again and hear his comebacks. But this could make Sebastian mistakenly think that I was suddenly okay with having a friendship with him again.

As soon as class ended, I jumped up and headed to the door. I refused to allow Sebastian a chance to talk to me after class.

I needed some sort of distraction, any distraction. I finally found one in the form of Ominis who was sitting on the ground in a nearby corridor.

“Hello, Ominis,” I greeted him as I sat down next to him. The marble flooring was very uncomfortable.

“How are you able to sit here so long or even nap on this hard floor?” I grumbled for the thousandth time to him.

Ominis just huffed and shook his head good naturedly. He was far too used to hearing that complaint.

“How is your Charms project going? Is Puffskein Duncan terrified of every idea Sebastian suggests?”

I could not help but snicker. It was silly how much Ominis seemed to hate Duncan.

“It’s going surprisingly well. I mean, Duncan doesn’t really do anything… But I don’t contribute too much either. Sebastian and Poppy are doing most of the work.”

“Sebastian is not trying to incorporate anything…inappropriate is he?” Ominis said vaguely in case anyone overheard our chatter.

“Not at all. I assume he has enough sense to know better than to suggest something like that to Poppy or where a Professor could overhear.”

“Well…that is something I suppose. Perhaps he finally has a grasp on what it means to restrain oneself.”

I hummed in a noncommittal way. Restraint was not a word in Sebastian’s vocabulary. But thankfully, so far, I had not seen anything from him that made me uncomfortable.

********

Our group project continued onward, with our charm coming along surprisingly well. We were not quite there yet, but we were getting excitedly close. Most recently we cast the spell on Poppy who burst out into incessant high-pitched giggles. And for some strange reason started floating.

Sebastian watched Poppy in the air, contemplating.

“I think I know what’s wrong. We need to adjust the wand movement a bit to avoid a similar arc that Leviosa also has.”

Next class it was my turn to be the guinea pig. No floating this time. But I was overcome with such strong laughter that I could not pick myself up from the ground. I was quite literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Sebastian cancelled the spell. I could hear him and Poppy talking while I laid there trying to catch my breath.

“Perhaps one of the Latin words is not quite right?” Poppy mused. “Let’s see what other terms we can find that are similar enough but hopefully can provide a more calm sense of happiness rather than intense humor.”

With that we began yet another round of looking in Latin books.

To everyone’s immense surprise, it was Duncan who finally spotted a Latin term that ended up being exactly what we needed.

He got the ‘honor’ of being the Guinea pig for what turned out to be our final version of the spell.

Sebastian cast the spell at Duncan and we all awaited anxiously. Nothing obvious happened immediately. Then Duncan broke into a relieved and joyful smile.

“It worked!” Duncan cheered. “Try it for yourselves!”

With that, each of us cast the spell.

An immediate wave of happiness spread across me. All the anxiety and strain I had been carrying lifted like it had simply never been there to start with.

I glanced over at Sebastian and Poppy to see they were hugging each other in celebration.

“We did it!” Poppy was laughing so hard that she was bent over, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I knew we could do it!” Sebastian beamed.

Poppy came and grabbed my hand to jump up and down with me. Sebastian watched us smirking but did not join in.

For a wild moment, I was tempted to run up to hug him. I thankfully caught myself just as I was about to move toward him. One moment of happiness with him did not negate all the pain in our past.

****

Much later in the evening, instead of sleeping, my mind was full of thoughts. I wish I could say it was about anything but Sebastian but that would be a lie.

A tiny part of me (that I was adamant to squish out) was sad that now the project was over, I would never speak with him again. The NEWT exams were now upon us. And after finishing them and graduating, I would never get a chance to hear any more of his funny antics or stories. Or see that gleam in his eye when he suddenly put together a piece of the puzzle. The understanding he gave me when I told him about the danger facing me and my ancient magic.

That chapter in my life would now be properly and permanently closed. A boy that I once loved, now forever in the shadows of my past.

 

 

Notes:

Hi everyone. We are finally getting close to the actual courting season beginning. I wanted them to have a forced reason to interact to get them a chance to interact in a positive manner again. But now the real fun begins!

Chapter 4: It looks like you're tryin' lives on

It was now officially my final day of attending Hogwarts. I stared around the Great Hall with bittersweet feelings enveloping my heart. Three years was not long enough. There were sad memories here, but really wonderful memories as well.

Thanks to my high NEWT scores, I would be starting my career as an Unspeakable in September. But before that day arrived, I was going to have to suffer through something very very tedious.

“Tomorrow begins a very exciting time in a young witch or wizards life,” Professor Weasley announced. “Tomorrow we welcome all graduated students to stay for the summer and join in on all social events being held. The purpose, of course, is for you all to have a proper chance at meeting your future husband or wife. Of course you all know everyone around you, but this time is meant for fun! To get a chance to spend time with others you may not have had the opportunity to know.

This is most important, so please listen. Of course, all the rules of decorum are required to be followed. Anyone not behaving in a proper manner will either be dismissed or you may find yourselves required to marry. I would highly suggest not to let yourself be caught in a scandalous situation, lest you find yourself betrothed immediately to that person.

Now, to further discourage any potential happenings between couples that could risk their reputations, the boys and the girls will live in entirely different sections of the castle.”

At this, the students made a noise of disbelief and confusion.

“Yes, yes. I know it sounds silly to many of you given that you have all shared a House and Common Room for 7 years. But it is it way of society. Unwed couples do not live together after all. And I think you will find there to be more temptation now than during your education here.”

Elle caught Everett shooting a look of amusement to Samantha. No doubt they had already both experienced the “temptation” Professor Weasley was talking about.

“Girls, you will be in the Gryffindor Tower. Boys will be in the Slytherin Dungeon. You will find that the passwords have been changed from during the school year, so do not attempt to go where you are not meant to. Tempting though it may be to want to share the password with your potential suitor, I implore you to remember the consequences. Reputation is important and cannot always be changed once established.”

Silence rang through the hall as the severity sunk in. Repuation meant everything. It could affect your career, who you marry, if you marry, your home, every important thing in society.

“Now then. The fun part: we shall begin the summer with a ball tomorrow night. Everyone please dress in your best formal clothing. You are meant to impress after all.”

“With that, you are all dismissed. I shall see you all tomorrow night. Oh.. and congratulations on graduating. I know you will all make me proud,” she smiled.

Voices immediately filled the Great Hall. Everyone was talking excitedly to one another, no doubt making their plans for the ball.

I huffed in annoyance at the whole thing. I didn’t even have a gown to wear. I found plenty of outfits in my treasure hunt, but nothing that I would want to wear to this sort of event.

Natty, Poppy, and Imelda immediately ran up to me, looking much happier than I felt.

“I thought you two weren’t interested in this?” I questioned Natty and Imelda.

Imelda rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, but come on.. It’s a ball! Even I like the chance to get out of my Quidditch robes once in a while and dress up.”

“And I rather miss the formal events that we had at Uagadou. It will be nice to experience one again,” Natty grinned in clear excitement.

“Shall we go ahead and find a gown in Hogsmeade?” Poppy asked eagerly, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

Despite my best efforts, I felt a smile spread across my face. Even if this courting thing was silly to me, it was lovely to get to spend this time with my friends.

****

Hogsmeade was absolutely packed. It seemed as though everyone decided to head there immediately following Professor Weasley’s speech.

The line was so long to enter Gladrags, that we all decided to go to The Three Broomsticks and wait for some of the crowd to disperse.

We walked through the entire building twice trying to find an empty table. We finally split up in hopes of catching a table by someone getting up to leave.

As I passed by the back, eyes wandering over to see who looked like they might be leaving soon, I heard Poppy yell out my name over the noise.

I followed her voice to a table occupied by herself, Violet, and shit… Sebastian. Poppy shot me an apologetic look before explaining. “Sebastian saw me passing by and offered to share the table with us.”

I nodded. Poppy and Sebastian were friendly with each other and it made perfect sense that he would offer to help her out. For all his faults, he was a gentleman.

“Ellie, do you already have your dress for tomorrow night?” Violet asked, a mischievous lilt to her voice.

I raised my brow at her. She and I never got along. I often found her to be unnecessarily rude and arrogant. Who even knows how Sebastian could tolerate her long enough to be here with her.

“My name is Eleanor not Ellie,” I replied with a sharp tone. “And no. We are here to buy gowns.”

“I am so excited for tomorrow night. Sebastian here has already promised me a dance,” she simpered, laying her hand on Sebastian’s arm.

Internally cringing, I glanced at Sebastian. He had his effortless smile that I often saw, but his eyes did not quite match his expression.

Admittedly, it was strange to me to see these interactions up close. He often associated with the girls who I found to be a bit too flirty. I could not help but wonder what exactly appealed to him about them. I could only suppose they stroked his ego. Not to mention that he was a rather flirty person himself. They must be birds of a feather, as that expression goes.

At that moment, Natty and Imelda suddenly appeared at the table as well.

“Finally! I was tired of staring people down to get them to leave!” Imelda sighed in relief, taking a seat.

“Imelda! That was not kind!” Natty admonished.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Imelda waved her off before looking at the rest of the table.

Her brows shot up as she realized Sebastian and Violet were there.

“Sallow, McDowell,” Imelda greeted, tone coming off a bit hostile.

Violet wrinkled her nose at Imelda before turning to Sebastion.

“Sebbie, I’m ready to leave. I’ve had enough to drink.”

Sebastian’s eyes met mine before looking quickly away again. “Alright, yeah let’s leave.”

He waved goodbye to us, shooting me another indecipherable look before turning to leave with Violet out the door.

“I can’t stand her!” Imelda burst out.

“I wonder why Sallow would spend time with her? She’s always quite rude when I’ve talked to her,” Natty mused.

Imelda snorted. “Oh I know exactly why… There are rumors about her for a reason. I would know since I have shared a dorm with her.”

“Imelda, that’s a serious accusation to make,” Poppy whispered urgently. “We shouldn’t speak on these sort of rumors.”

Imelda huffed but did not say anything more.

Meanwhile, I was still watching the door that Sebastian and Violet had just exited while listening to their words.

Working on the project with Sebastian, I saw glimpses again of the boy who was my friend. Reminders of why I had cared for him and why I was willing to save him from a fate in Azkaban. But the person in front of me just now reminded me of how much I no longer knew him. We had both changed so much since our 5^th year.

I couldn’t help but wonder why he kept looking at me the way he did at the table. I couldn’t make sense of the expressions and it bothered me.

“I’m going to go grab us the butterbeers,” Imelda announced. “Then we can go get those dresses.”

Natty and Poppy cheered excitedly, and I dragged my attention back to them. There was no use in thinking about Sebastian any longer. I just needed to be in the moment and enjoy this time with my friends.

***

A few butterbeers  later, we finally made our way back to Gladrags. Thankfully, there were only a few people in the store by that point and we were able to get one on one help from the owner.

Each of us found the perfect gowns for us, plus a few more dresses to wear throughout the summer season.

Like it or not, it was now time to start the famous summer courting season and I was ready.

Notes:

Next chapter is the first ball of the season! I have some ideas of the drama that will happen and I am so excited to share it!
Please leave feedback if you'd like to! I welcome constructive criticism as well as fangirling :)

Chapter 5: Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame

Notes:

It's time for the first event of the courting season - The awaited ball!
Also - please note that I have upped the rating of the story to Mature for implied sexual content.

It felt incredibly strange to sleep in the Gryffindor Tower after spending the past three years in the Ravenclaw Tower. Admittedly I had not given it much thought before, but I had not realized just how incredibly differently themed each House must be.

The Gryffindor Tower had many red tapestries hanging on the walls. And most surprisingly to me, Quidditch memorabilia scattered about. I didn’t think everyone in Gryffindor was automatically a big fan of the game but now I was starting to wonder.

Natty laughed when I voiced this puzzling observation to her.

“I am sure not everyone in Gryffindor likes the game of Quidditch. But I have observed that most students in the school are fans regardless of the house. As for myself, even I enjoy watching the school games. Though, I would much rather be an observer than a player.”

Natty, Imelda, Poppy, and I all picked a dorm room to share. That night we all sat at the ends of our beds and talking late into the night. We each described our common rooms, dormitories, and silly things we saw happen.

Imelda told us about how Ominis would tease first years about being able to see mermaids. Poppy let out an extra loud giggle at that. I smiled to myself, knowing exactly what caused that reaction. But when she mentioned the giant squid and how it would sometimes hit against the glass with one of its legs, we all let out a gasp. Imelda nodded, satisfied with our reactions.

Natty told us about how Nellie Ogspire had a weird obsession with walking on top of the fireplace. And how Garreth was always experimenting with potions in the common room, causing weird smells to constantly be present.

Poppy shared how there were plants all over her common room and that it was shaped like a burrow. There were so many sweet treats throughout the room and there had been a handful of times she saw a few Hufflepuff members engage in food fights.

I described the elegant blue of the Ravenclaw room and how it felt a little uptight sometimes, but really just felt like home.

We all one by one fell asleep with smiles on our faces.

****

The next morning had a strange feeling in the air. It seemed to be split between those who were very excited and giggly for tonight. And then those who looked like they regretted every life choice that had led to this moment in time.

Despite boys and girls being forced to sit at separate tables, I saw too many girls purposefully shooting flirty gazes across the room at certain boys. And boys doing rather bizarre things like flex their arms, trying to (not so indiscreetly) show off their muscles.

I suppose, if nothing else, these social events would certainly provide entertainment for me just by watching everyone act so silly.

I noticed that the professors at the head table were carefully watching over all of us. No doubt trying to ensure that nothing inappropriate was going on.

“Elle!” Imelda’s voice broke through my wandering mind.

I glanced over, startled by the interruption.

Imelda, Poppy, and Natty were all watching me, apparently awaiting an answer to a question I did not know I had been asked.

“Er…what happened?” I asked sheepishly.

“We wanted to know who you are hoping will ask you to dance tonight,” Natty said, holding back a laugh.

My mind went blank at the question. I had not really been interested in anyone.

I blinked owlishly around me, trying to think who would be fun to dance with. While I did find this whole process tedious, I was looking forward to finally getting to embrace being a carefree teenager. The biggest problem I would be facing this summer was love. And really, that was nothing compared to the insane events of 5^th year.

“Garreth would be fun to dance with. He is never very serious about anything. Amit is such a sweetie. He would be considerate of me. I am sure I will have a dance with Ominis as well. We had practiced dancing a few times over the past few months, and I am comfortable dancing with him.”

“No Leander?” Poppy teased.

I grimaced. “No, definitely not. He would probably attempt to over-do the dancing and spin me into the drink bowl.”

The girls all burst into giggles.  

I looked over at the boys table and saw Ominis chatting with Amit and Garreth. Over the past two years they had become friends as well. My eyes strayed down the table, before they landed on Sebastian. Unlike nearly everyone else, Sebastian was sitting alone reading. It took me aback for a moment before I recalled that I had not seen him in the presence of another boy in the last 2 years. Only those overly flirty girls. I wondered if he ever felt lonely…

Imelda caught my eye, raising her brow. She had noticed who I was staring at. I shook my head at her. Silently asking her to not question it. Imelda frowned but said nothing.

Slowly around us, girls were getting up to leave. Already getting ready for the ball that would be in the evening.

Poppy sprung up in excitement, ready to also start the process. “Come on!” she beckoned eagerly. “We have so much to do!”

Imelda, Natty, and I shared a look of amusement. We collectively got up to follow her out the doors and to the dormitory.

****

I was currently sat in front of a mirror, waging war against my hair. Even on a good day it did not like to listen to me. I kept trying style after style in hopes something would look okay, before finally growling and throwing my face into my hands frustrated, hairbrush sticking out of my now very tangled hair.

Poppy took pity on me, and took my hair and hairbrush in her hands.

She gently brushed through my hair, smiling softly in the mirror. “Not used to this?” She asked kindly.

“No,” I sigh. “I’ve never had much luck with my hair. I just let it do what it wants to day to day.”

“I know what you mean,” she mused. “I tend to wear my hair short and down. But at night I have recently started experiment with new styles. It’s fun to look a bit different. What I am wearing right now is my favorite style to practice.”

Poppy had her hair up in a braided up-do, a few pieces of hair in front of her ears.

“It’s a beautiful style, Poppy.”

She smiled her thanks at me.

“Now that I have those knots out of your hair, what are you thinking you would like?”

I tugged at my hair in thought.

“I rather love the idea of having nice curls for once. And maybe a ribbon somewhere as well?”

Poppy got to work immediately, using magic and rollers to make beautiful curls cascade down my back. Once done, she took a few pieces from each side, pulling them to the back and tying a ribbon around them.

I touched the curls reverently. It was the most beautiful I had ever seen my hair. No frizz, just sleek and smooth curls.

“Thank you, Poppy,” I said gratefully.

Poppy leant down and gave me a brief hug before she went back over to her own section of the room.

I put the gemstone earrings on and clipped the delicate necklace on the back of my neck.

The last step was to put on some color onto my lips and cheeks. I had never worn makeup before, but tonight I wanted to give myself some color.

Imelda passed around the red lip balm and blush powder. We all took turns dabbing some onto our faces.

The blush emphasized my cheekbones in an entrancing way.

Once I had the soft pink gown on, I felt like I was seeing a stranger in the mirror. It was as though I had turned into a woman without realizing.

I turned to see my friends. They all looked stunning, each playing to their own physical strengths.  

We smiled fondly at each other, all pleased to share this moment with each other.

“Shall we go down?” Natty grinned. “I am eager to show off this beautiful gown.”

We all giggled as we headed to the Great Hall with our arms linked with each other.

I gasped taking in the Great Hall. It had completely transformed. Gone were the House tables. Beautiful white flowers and ribbons were placed around the room. A fully enchanted orchestra was on the platform. Lovely music perfect for dancing was coming from the assortment of instruments. Gorgeous crystal chandeliers were floating, holding the candles that would normally be randomly above our heard. The crystals reflected the light against the floor and walls, creating iridescent rainbow patterns. Against the wall I spotted a long table full of dishes and plates so that we could sample food throughout the night. Small tables were scattered along the edge of the dance floor so that we could take a break from dancing and perhaps have a moment to talk with a potential suitor.

Tearing my eyes away from the beauty of the room, I looked around the room at my classmates. Everyone had taken extra care to look their best for tonight. Men had their hair slicked back, clothes tucked in properly. Women all took the time to put their hair up in fashionable styles with flattering gowns.

A strange giddiness grew in me. It was just like the balls I would read about in my books. For a moment, I had to convince myself that this was real. I was doing something normal and fun. I did not care about the courting process; I just wanted to dance and giggle with my friends.

It looked like we had arrived a little behind others. Many couples were already dancing. There were random groups of both boys and girls, looking hesitant and shy to approach anyone for a dance.

I spotted Sebastian on the floor, dancing with Violet just like he had promised her. He had cleaned up exceptionally well I noticed. He tamed his hair for the night, styling his curls to not be as wild. His dress robes were a lovely dark green. I snorted a bit to myself. Of course, he was making sure to still be wearing Slytherin colors. But I could not deny the color was very flattering on him.

Tearing my eyes away from him, I scanned the room for Ominis or Garreth or Amit. All safe bets for a fun dance tonight. I did not see Ominis yet. Perhaps he was running late as well.

Imelda and Natty immediately were whisked away for a dance. Poppy and I decided to sit at a table instead of standing awkwardly.

We chatted while admiring (or laughing at) the dance moves of everyone.

After a few songs, I saw Sebastian bow to Grace as they ended a dance together. He started to walk over to our table. I instantly tensed; fear spiking up my body that he would ask me to dance.

Instead, he approached Poppy, offering his hand to her.

“Ms. Sweeting, would you please do me the honor of dancing with me?” Sebastian smiled.

Poppy’s brows shot up momentarily before breaking out in a grin. She grabbed onto his hand and they entered the dance floor.

Ominis suddenly appeared in front of me, blocking the sight of Sebastian and Poppy.

“Good evening, Elle,” tone showing Ominis’ deep annoyance.

“What happened Ominis?” I asked, concern peeking through.

“Letters from my family were delivered tonight right before the ball started. I don’t want to talk about it right now. I would rather focus on this now that I am here.”

I nodded in understanding. It always upset Ominis anytime he heard from his family.

“Now that I have arrived, would you like to dance together?”

“Yes!” I jumped up, pleased that I would finally get a chance to join the dance floor.

Ominis escorted me to the floor as we joined the other couples in the dance.

We passed by Poppy and Sebastian a few times. They both were grinning with genuine smiles, clearly enjoying the dance with one another. I forced myself to focus only on Ominis for the remainder of the song. Ominis was an excellent dancer, despite not being able to see me. He moved us about smoothly, staying in time with the beat.

At the end, I curtseyed to Ominis as he bowed to me. He escorted me off the floor back to the table where I had been sitting.

Poppy and Sebastian arrived a moment later, chatting amicably.

Ominis turned to Poppy. “Ms. Sweeting, would you like to dance with me tonight?”

Poppy’s eyes widened eagerly. A genuine blush spreading across her cheeks.

“I would love that Mr. Gaunt. Thank you. Could we please go ahead and dance now?”

Ominis seemed taken aback by her eagerness, clearly not expecting such a positive reaction.

“Certainly, let’s go ahead and re-join the dance floor.” With that they walked away, Poppy’s hand on his arm.

It was now just Sebastian and I standing alone. I let out an awkward cough, debating how rude it might be to just walk away and pretend to get something to drink.

He cleared his throat. “Erm.. Ms. Porter would you please join me for a dance?”

My eyes shot from the floor to him, startled by his words. For once, he did not look cocky. Instead, he seemed hesitant and unsure.

It was considered incredibly bad-mannered to decline a dance. Knowing this, I nodded my acceptance. Squashing down the tiny voice insisting that I missed our friendship and that I was relieved to have an excuse to talk with him.

He smiled uncertainly at me as he escorted me. We eyed each other carefully, clearly unsure how to talk to each other now.

I took this time to gaze closer upon him. The first time in years I had allowed myself to linger on his features. I had been so caught up in my anger, I had failed to notice the man he had grown into. They way his face sharpened and the scruff of what remained of a recently shaved beard. His freckles spread across his cheeks were prominent as ever.

I noticed his dark eyes wandering over my face as though he were analyzing me as well.

Deciding to be brave and break the wall of silence, I asked whatever random question came into my mind first.

“What job did you decide on now that we’ve graduated?”

Sebastian’s hand squeezed my waist tightly for a moment. A reaction to his shock at me trying to talk to him.

“Oh..um.. I decided on becoming a curse breaker,” he looked hesitantly into my eyes, cautious of my judgement.

I nodded. “That does seem like a good match for you. I think you will be very good at that.”

Sebastian’s expression finally relaxed some.

“Yeah, I figured all the reading I’ve done over the years here could be really useful. Plus, I do love adventure.” Sebastian gazed into the distance, no doubt daydreaming about what awaited him once summer was over.

“What about you?” He gazed back into my eyes.

“I am joining the Unspeakables,” I announced with pride. It had taken me a lot of hard work to get that job offer.

“Oh wow!” Sebastian’s eyes widened. “Impressive! That is a very prestigious career.”

I bit my lip to hold back my smile, pleased at his acknowledgement.

“I am very excited to start. I just have to get through all these summer events first.” My tone let out some of the frustration I felt regarding having to delay for something that I knew would not result in its goal: marriage.

“I know what you mean,” his expression indicating that he understood the unspoken words of my frustration. “I would much rather skip all of this pomp and circumstance.”

“Really?” I could not help the way my voice went high pitched in shock. “You seemed to be in your element all evening.”

Given the posse of women he seemed to maintain, I expected him to love the idea of all these courting events.

Sebastian snorted. Clearly, he picked up on what I was thinking despite not voicing it.

“Yes, well - Perhaps I’m a little more complicated than you think,” he teased. Trying to make the conversation more light hearted again.

“Oh I don’t know about that. I think everyone wants to think they are more mysterious than they are,” I responded back playfully.

Sebastian turned his head to his left and laughed. “Like Leander over there who is certainly trying not to sulk.”

I looked in the direction as Sebastian. Leander was certainly trying to look casual but it was clear he was unhappy.

“Poor Leander,” I mused in a very insincere tone.

Sebastian shot me a grin. We had always bonded over our mutual dislike of him.

“Wonder if he will be successful this summer?” Sebastian said with fake concern.

“Sebastian!” I swatted his shoulder with the hand that had been laying there moments before. “No need to be rude.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Like you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

“A lady does not speak such things,” I huffed putting on a haughty air.

That more than anything else, seemed to really bring Sebastian’s face to life.

“You are so ridiculous,” he laughed to himself.

A comfortable silence settled over us for some time.

“The color of your gown compliments you nicely,” Sebastian observed, his eyes trailing down my body.

Pink spread through my cheeks at the surprising compliment. I in turn, eyed his formal wear again.

“Thank you… The green looks nice on you as well. Though of course, I’m sure you knew that.”

Sebastian smirked. “School might be over, but I still can show off my Slytherin pride.”

I shook my head at his ridiculousness.

“I’m sure it’s all about Slytherin and not at all that you know it’s a good color on you.”

Sebastian looked unexpectedly delighted at my remark.

“All colors look good on me though,” he announced cockily.

“I didn’t miss that cocky attitude of yours,” I rolled my eyes.

He lifted his brow while smirking. Pleased at my teasing.

At that moment, Constance Dagworth approached us.

“Sebastian, you promised me a dance earlier,” she announced. “You’ve been dancing with Eleanor here for three songs now.”

My jaw dropped at the news. I had not even noticed the music changing once much less twice.

Sebastian as well seemed similarly taken aback.

“Oh, of course, Constance. I apologize for leaving you waiting.”

Sebastian turned to me, bowed.

“Thank you for the dance, Miss Porter.”

I in turn curtseyed back, still speechless.

I wandered back to the little table while Sebastian took Constance in his arms.

My head was swimming with the news that I had danced with Sebastian for so long. We had chatted and even teased one another as though we were friends.

I had not felt so relaxed and happy in his presence since 5^th year.

I gazed over at the dancers, seeing Sebastian and Constance dancing. He was smiling, but it was not the same genuine smile he had with me.

My emotions felt too complicated at the moment to parse through. It was best to just let go of my thoughts about Sebastian for the rest of the night.

I continued scanning through the dancing couples. To my shock and pleasure, I spotted Ominis and Poppy still dancing with one another. They were both openly grinning and laughing with one another.

Cheerfulness bubbled in me at seeing them so happy together. They both each deserved so much happiness. I could not wait to hear all the details from Poppy later this evening.

I spotted Natty dancing with Garreth. They in turn were sporting matching joyful looks as well. It was unexpected to see them together, but in retrospect I could see how they were well matched to one another. They were both loyal and hardworking. Garreth could bring out Natty’s playful side. And Natty could temper Garreth’s troublemaking tendencies.

Imelda was dancing with Isaac Cooper. That certainly was a good match considering they were both so intense and obsessed with Quidditch. Though I could not help but think that their competitiveness might cause the two to clash. Time would tell with those two.

“Eleanor? Miss Porter, I mean?” I looked up and saw Andrew Larson in front of me. “Could we please have a dance?”

I saw a few nearby girls glaring at me. Andrew was one of the most popular boys in our year. I was never interested in him, but it was easy to see his appeal. He was quite attractive and charismatic.

“Of course,” I smiled.

As he and I danced, we passed by Ominis and Poppy giggling. By Natty and Garreth blushing. And by Sebastian and Constance touching in such a way that was rather inappropriate for a public gathering.

I noticed Andrew’s gaze linger on Sebastian and Constance as well. Andrew looked as unhappy as I was telling myself I did not feel.

I saw him force himself to stay looking at me. The silence was rather awkward but it turned out he was a very good dancer. Clearly, he had lessons.

“When did you learn to dance?”

“Oh my mother and father forced me into lessons throughout my life. They wanted to make sure I would be a worthy marriage candidate. They tend to have high goals for me. Not that I am capable of meeting them.” The fake smile spoke more than the words did.

“Ah. I’m sorry to hear that. They should be proud of you. I feel as though I hear nothing but good things about you.”

Andrew’s smile changed to something sweeter.

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

The rest of the dance was spent in silence. At the end, we parted with a bow and curtsey.

I found myself tired out and ready to leave already. All the other girls looked to still be having a good time so I decided to leave without bothering any of them.

As I wandered the corridors, I heard some giggling and laughter ahead of me. I spotted Sebastian and Constance heading into an empty classroom. Constance leading Sebastian by the hand as they faced each other. It was clear exactly why they were heading to a private room.

My stomach dropped.

Notes:

The dance between Sebastian and Eleanor was so fun to write. They're starting to get closer once again!
I hope this chapter is not a let down for anyone. I really didn't have much drama planned for this specific event. It was more meant to lay groundwork for future events. Hopefully you all still enjoyed it regardless!
Also this is my longest chapter. I didn't realize I had so much more to write before we even reached the ball.
And in case anyone is confused - Sebastian and Poppy don't have anything going on. They just consider each other friends and are comfortable with each other.
Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 6: Is it over now?

I stood frozen in that hallway for a solid minute before I realized I needed to get away and quickly. I did not want to hear any result of their… union.

I rushed down the hall as quietly as possible, before finally slowing down to catch my breath at the Grand Staircase.

It was strange taking the well-worn path to Gryffindor Tower in total silence. As many times as I had traveled the school at night, there were always so many teachers or students wandering that it never felt lonely. Tonight though, it was eerie hearing only my footsteps echo through the halls. It was a relief to finally reach the Gryffindor common room.

I grabbed a book and sat in front of the fire, waiting for my friends to return so I could hear all about their night. I struggled to keep my mind on the book and I managed to only get through a few pages before ladies started entering into the room through the portrait. Poppy, Natty, and Imelda all finally entered together. They were all so happy that they practically glowed.

“Elle!” Poppy cried out and rushed over to me. The three of them sat around me on the couch so we could finally all share our tales from tonight.

“I saw you dance with Sebastian,” Poppy whispered. “Are you two friends again?”

“Or more?” Imelda waggled her brows.

“I thought you didn’t like Sebastian?” Natty asked Imelda amused.

“I don’t! But I can’t avoid teasing our Elle over here regarding Sallow.”

“You two danced for quite a while,” Poppy interjected, not wanting the conversation to be sidetracked.

I fidgeted with my hair, unsure of what to really say.

“We did dance for a few songs, yes,” I finally said.

“Well? How was it?” Poppy was determined to get answers.

“It was like having my friend back,” I admitted with reluctance. “I didn’t realize how much I missed him until tonight.”

Poppy looked as thrilled as if I had told her I was now engaged.

“Do you think that he will seek to court you this summer?”

That same unpleasant feeling arose in me recalling again what I saw in the hallway.

“I doubt that. He and Constance seemed a bit too busy with one another tonight. I doubt that he has a single thought in his head about me.”

Imelda snorted. “He certainly collects those girls, doesn’t he?”

“Just because you watched them share a dance does not mean much,” Natty gently reminded me.

“It was not just that,” I shook my head. “I saw them alone heading to an empty room.”

A look of repulsion crossed Imelda’s face. Silence fell across the group.

“Well, it’s not like I wanted him to court me anyway.” It seemed important to remind them all that I was not mooning over Sebastian.

Poppy looked skeptical but thankfully did not argue.

 “Can we please talk about you three?” I begged. “Poppy, I’ve been waiting all night to hear about you and Ominis!”

Poppy instantly reddened and hid a wide grin behind her hand.

“Ominis is so sweet and a proper gentleman. He asked questions about me and kept checking on me, making sure I was comfortable. I really like him,” she giggled.

“How did your night end with him?” I asked.

“He told me that he would like it if I accompanied him at the luncheon that is in two days.”

I screeched in pure excitement. “Poppy that is amazing! Congratulations!”

Poppy beamed, her blush still very bright.

“What about you two?” I turned to Natty and Imelda.

“Garreth is much more a gentleman than I expected. I did enjoy our time together tonight. I would not mind seeing him more as well.” Natty smiled. She was not as lovestruck as Poppy, but it was clear she was pleased.

“Isaac Cooper was fun to tease. But I do not want to pursue anything with him,” Imelda announced bluntly.

I was tempted to ask further questions but Imelda’s expression indicated that no questions would be welcome.

There was a long pause before Imelda spoke again.

“Did you hear any of the rumors before you left?” Imelda asked.

“Rumors?” I frowned. “I try not to listen to gossip if I can help it.”

“No no, not that kind. Natty overheard a few people mention there might be a Crossed Wands competition tomorrow. But we can’t let the teachers catch us. They likely wouldn’t approve of us ladies being so improper.” Imelda rolled her eyes.

I lit up. A dueling competition? I had not participated in those since end of 5^th year. I was too afraid to see Sebastian there. I could not risk giving him any opening to speak to me. Now though, we were on much better terms, and I missed fighting for fun.

“I heard we are meant to gather in the Clock Tower right after breakfast. Around 10 a.m.,” Natty added. “Apparently Sebastian is the leader of this unsanctioned event.”

“Figures,” I snickered lightly. The use of “unsanctioned” giving me a bit of a jolt since that was how Sebastian once described Crossed Wands to me.

“Let’s go to sleep. Sounds like we have an exciting day tomorrow.” Poppy stood and stretched. “Plus I am eager to get out of this gown and into some pajamas.”

We all nodded enthusiastically. While dressing up was fun, comfort was a welcome change for the night.

***

The next morning I found myself in the Clock Tower at the time Natty had overheard. It looked like nearly everyone was in attendance. The result led to very little sitting or even standing room. I put myself in the corner just to have a bit of extra breathing room.

After I stood around for a few minutes, Sebastian called attention to himself at the front of the room.

“Hey everyone! Several of us thought that this would be a fun thing to do in between the big events. After all, what’s a better bonding situation than having to duel with or against someone?”

Adelaide raised her hand.

Sebastian suppressed an amused smile. “Yes Addy?”

“This seems like something the Professors would not approve of. They are trying to keep us ladies separate from the boys after all.”

“Who cares!” someone called out from the crowd.

Sebastian coughed to cover his laugh. “Yes, well. If you are not comfortable, you are certainly free to go. Otherwise, we should probably keep this a secret from them. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Ominis hummed in disagreement beside me, though he made no move to leave.

Seeing no one leave, Sebastian continued.

“Okay brilliant. I thought at first that everyone could pick their partner. But then I figured where is the fun in that? So we will have a random list of numbers. Girls - you sign your name next to a number on this parchment. Boys - you sign your name on this other parchment. Matching numbers will be opponents.”

It was a while before the parchment reached me. By the time it was in my hand, only a few slots were left. I thought I would rather go early than late, so I signed up for the number 1 slot. Obviously, no one else had wanted to be the first to go up.

Sebastian grabbed both pieces and started to read aloud the two lists.

“First slot for boys is myself, of course. Got to start you all off on a high note.” Several girls giggled while many of the boys were less than impressed.

At Sebastian’s startled expression looking at the girl’s name, I joltingly remembered I was the one who claimed that spot.

“First slot for the girls is Eleanor.” He met my eyes with more eager anticipation than I had expected.

I came down the steps and stood next to him. I could see Poppy in the distance looking far too pleased. Ominis was frowning at our pairing. I had not yet told him that Sebastian and I were starting to be on better terms.

Sebastian watched me, gauging my comfort with this.

“I’m ready to knock you on your ass again,” I smirk.

A delighted smile immediately spread across his face.

“You know I always give as good as I get,” he jokingly taunted back.

He glanced behind him. “Natty, will you be our referee?”

Natty nodded and stood to come closer to us.

Sebastian and I separated and walked the customary 10 feet apart.

“Wands at the ready!” Natty called out. Sebastian and I immediately moved into a dueling stance.

“3,2,1 Go!”

I immediately cast stupefy, hoping to get a lucky first shot. Sebastian had finished casting Protego before the spell even left my wand. As it ricocheted off his shield, I was already following up with Levioso which managed to hit him. Sebastian floated for only a quick moment before he managed to cast Depulso and the counter to Levioso back-to-back. I dived out of the way; the hard floor scraping the palms of my hands and knees. Kneeling on the floor, I send Confringo at him. Sebastian chuckled out-of-breath at my choice of spell. His counter Aguamenti was so strong that it went right through the fire and drenched me. Now sopping wet, I was determined to end this and win.

The whole scene was nothing but continuously flashing colors of the different spells. Any time one of us gained an advantage, the other immediately found a way to counter that. The longer we dueled, the more it began to feel like a dance between the two of us. A dance we had once known and forgotten over time. We were so well matched.

I finally saw a weakness and took advantage of the opening. I managed to hit him with Depulso and Sebastian flew straight into the barrels behind him. He groaned but made no movement to get up.

“Eleanor is the winner!” Natty excitedly declared.

I ran up to Sebastian and offered him my hand. As he stood, I got a better look at the bleeding cut on his cheek.

 “Are you okay?” I asked, concerned that the spell was too strong.

“Of course I am! That was brilliant Eleanor!” Sebastian beamed, completely ignoring the blood now running down his face.

All I could do was laugh in relief.

“Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” Sebastian said as we walked off to the side so the next duo could go.

“Yes,” I responded softly. “Like how we went to Hogsmeade and I took on that troll while you stood there.”

“I beg your pardon,” he sputtered. “I helped you take down that troll! Even though I don’t have your ancient magic, I think I was still pretty impressive.”

I started giggling, adrenaline still pumping in me. “I’m just teasing you, Seb.”

Sebastian stopped mid-step. I turned my head in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing!” Sebastian caught up to me.

We spent the rest of the tournament, sitting together and chatting about each of the duels. I felt an unexpected happiness and sense of companionship with him building inside me. Maybe I could have him back as a proper friend. Maybe we could be happy together again.

We waved goodbye to each other as we parted many hours later.

*****

Dinner that night had a weird energy. Several people were whispering to one another. I had yet to catch what the rumor was that had everyone so excited.

Just as it looked like someone was finally going to come over to us to tell us the gossip, Professor Weasley took the front podium.

“I have exciting news to share with you all. We have the first official betrothal of the season. Please stand up you two,” she said off to her side.

Sebastian and Constance stood up. An odd mix of gasps and cheers echoed around the hall.

“Mr. Sallow and Ms. Dagworth are to be married. They will be staying around until the end of summer with you all, but obviously will not be pursuing any others at the events. Congratulations you two.”

Sebastian bowed to Professor Weasley and took Constance’s hand as they took a seat again.

“I….am confused,” Natty said.

“What the fuck,” Imelda gasped.

All I knew was panic creeping up my body, blocking out all sound while I watched Sebastian kiss Constance’s hand.

Notes:

Okay I have been WAITING to finally get to the point where Sebastian is engaged. This was one of the earliest plot points I had planned for this story! Please let me know what you think or if you have any questions!
On the previous chapter, I was asked a question about Eleanor's feelings and I wrote back an essay on it lol. So if you want to check that out, its a very elaborate explanation of feelings for Sebastian and Eleanor.

I have a tumblr now! If you wanna chat HL or HP, I'm at : endless-starlight-legacy

Chapter 7: it hits different cause it's you

I left dinner in a daze, barely registering the conversation Poppy, Imelda, and Natty were having around me.

A hand on my shoulder jolted me out.

“Eleanor, I was calling after you!” Ominis rebuked, out of breath from chasing me.

“I’m sorry Ominis… My mind was elsewhere.”

“Yes, I can tell,” Ominis responded irritated.  “I think it’s time you and I have a chat. We haven’t had the chance to really talk this week.”

“But Ominis, you know we can’t be spotted talking together,” I reminded him.

“Yes, yes. That’s why we will meet up in our hidden study room.” Ominis’ anxiety was leaking out into his words.

“Al-alright, Omi. I shall meet you down there in just a few minutes.”

Ominis nodded and immediately took off to the Undercroft. I had to let him go ahead of me so that no one would suspect that we were meeting alone.

“Are you alright?” Imelda asked, voice unusually concerned.

“Of course I am,” I forced a laugh though it sounded very unnatural and strained.

The three of them were looking at me in deep concern.

Poppy wrapped her arms around me.

“It’s okay to be upset at the news Elle. None of us here will judge you for it.”

“It’s just so stupid!” I stomped my foot and I tried to hold back my harsher emotions. “I don’t know why I feel this way! We only just barely started reconnecting. I don’t even like him like that!”

Poppy continued to hug me until the hurt and anger calmed.

“I just feel like I’ve lost him again…and I had only just got him back,” I quietly admitted in sorrow.

Poppy released me and grabbed onto my hands. “I don’t think this will affect your friendship with him. He seemed very willing to want to know you again.”

I sighed deeply, rubbing my eyes to rid them of the prickling feeling.

“You’re right. I’m being ridiculous.”

“I do not think you are being ridiculous. That was very unexpected news for us all, and you have a complicated history with him,” Natty offered, lending her support. Imelda and Poppy both nodded in agreement.

“Thank you all. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I hugged each of them.

“I suppose I need to go talk to Ominis now…”

“Go ahead. We will be in the dorm waiting for you,” Poppy said.

I nodded and turned to follow the familiar path to the Undercroft.

“I’m here, Ominis,” I called out as I entered the secret room.

“You took a long time to get here,” snapped Ominis.

I bristled at the rude words.

“I’m not at your beck and call, Ominis. I could not abandon the girls simply because you decided you wanted my attention now.”

Ominis sighed heavily, shoulders hunching. “You’re right of course. My apologies, Elle. I just have been feeling so out of my element the past several days. And then with that bizarre news just now, I’m having a hard time processing everything.”

“It’s a strange time for all of us Ominis. But surely you did not call me down here to talk about Sebastian of all things?”

“Partially,” Ominis admitted. “I’ve missed you quite a lot this past week and I wanted to spend time with you. But I also have noticed some changes with you and Sebastian that you haven’t talked about with me.”

Knowing this would turn into a long conversation, I took a seat on the closest cushion to me. Ominis followed suit.

Sensing I was unsure of where to start, Ominis took the lead.

“I noticed during the Crossed Wands tournament, that you and Sebastian seemed more comfortable than I had expected. I could hardly believe it when you two chose to sit together and talk for what must have been hours.”

I did not respond; I did not know how to.

“And then your reaction in the hallway after I caught up to you. I was at first intending to just catch up with you. But I could tell you were quite worked up and I could assume only it was due to that announcement. I feel as though I do not know what is going on with you anymore.”

“Why does it matter?” I sighed, not particularly interested in re-hashing yet again all the conflicting feelings I was dealing with.

“I am worried about you. And I am worried that Sebastian is perhaps trying to seduce you despite apparently having been courting another girl.”

“Sebastian has done no such thing with me.” I had certainly not anticipated wanting to defend Sebastian ever again, but here we were. “If you absolutely insist on knowing, he and I simply have had a chance to become friendly again. At the ball we danced for a few songs and chatted. Then the duel today brought back nostalgia from some of our simpler and happier times. At no point with me has he shown any desire to court me, nor I to him.”

Ominis looked incredulous. “I have a very hard time believing your words considering the breakdown you sounded close to having in the hall. Eleanor, Sebastian is not good for you. Have you forgotten everything he did to us? He knows how to be manipulative and how to charm those around him.”

“Ominis, I am no longer a naive child!” I lashed out. “I know I was stupid in 5^th year. I know Sebastian manipulated me. I haven’t forgotten it! I can’t forget how it felt to realize that he was using me…” I paused, voice laced in pain. “But despite the insanity that happened, I also believe that he sincerely cared about me. I will always believe there is good in him. I truly think he is being genuine with me right now. And all we are seeking from one another is the friendship that we had lost. That is it.”

“Why then were you so hurt at the news? Why be distressed if he has not been trying to lure you back to him?”

“Because I missed him!” I cried out. “I had loved him so much and it killed me when I saw what he had turned into. My brilliant and charming friend was suddenly someone capable of murder! I still dream about that day. But yet for all that, I still miss who he was. And suddenly its like that version of him is back again. I don’t sense that lingering anger he used to carry. It’s like he is back to being that same boy I had loved once upon a time… But now with an intended, it’s like he is gone from me again. She would likely not approve of him being close friends with another woman.”

Ominis was absolutely dumbstruck at my purging of thoughts and feelings.

“Love?” he gaped.

I let out a shrill laugh. “Of all the things I said, that was the word you latched onto. Platonic love is what I mean Ominis. The way I love you or Poppy, Natty, Imelda. He felt like my kindred spirit…until he wasn’t.”

Ominis rubbed his face, processing all the new information.

“I… hadn’t realized that you felt so strongly about him…back then…or now.”

The fight suddenly left me and I just collapsed into chair.

"I knew you were hurting at his actions. I did not feel I had a right to tell you about my own state of mind when you had lost your closest friend of many years.”

Ominis shook his head in disbelief. “I am sorry you felt that you had to keep this to yourself for so long. I would never have wanted you to keep this inside while you suffered with no recourse.”

I let out a long sigh, releasing all the pent-up emotions. “It’s fine, Ominis. I learned to live with it over time.”

“Nonetheless, please feel that you can confide in me in the future no matter what it is about.”

“What if it’s about me going out to raid poacher camps again?” I ask humorlessly.

“In that case, please tell me so that I can tell you how ridiculous you are being and what a reckless idea it is.”

I let out a small snort. Some things never changed.

“Eleanor, it’s clear to me now that I haven’t quite been the good friend to you that I thought I had been. But I sincerely do want to know whatever you are comfortable with telling me regarding Sebastian,” he said with earnest.

I bit my lip in thought, echoing the words I had recently told the girls. “It feels as though our friendship is over again before we even had a real chance to see it grow. It is as though I am mourning both the past and the present at the same time.”

“As many faults as he has, one positive thing I can say about him is that he is quite loyal. I feel quite confident in saying to you that your relationship with him will grow again as long as you allow for it. Frankly, I am not sure if Constance could even hold him back from you if his mind is set.”

My lips twisted into a smile.

“I suppose you’re right on that last part. He has never known when to stop even when detrimental. Though I do hope he’s grown out of that.”

Ominis chuckled. “I am afraid that is written into his very DNA. He is very all or nothing.”

I laid my head back and stared at the ceiling in thought. “What do I do, Ominis? What should I do?”

“Stop overthinking and stop acting like this is the end of the world. If you wish to continue your friendship with him, then just proceed as though you had not heard the news in the Great Hall.”

I turned my head and looked at him.

“Do you ever miss him?”

“Of course. More than I want to admit. It was not an easy decision to end the friendship, but the person I saw him become scared me. I’ve had enough bad experiences with my family. I certainly don’t want my chosen family to embody the exact same faults.”

“If he changed though… if you learned he was truly regretful… would you want him back in your life?”

There was a long silence as Ominis considered this.

“I confess its hard to imagine anyone going that deep into the Dark Arts and being able to pull away from it. It’s enticing in a way that is hard to understand for those fortunate enough to avoid contact with it.” He paused again as he gathered his thoughts. “If somehow he managed to do it and I could see he was being fully open in his intentions to stay away, then yes I would gladly welcome him back. However, it is just as possible that he would reject me now. I have no doubt that my rejection of him hurt him deeply. The bad feelings might run too deep at this point for our friendship to be salvaged.”

I was shaking my head before he finished speaking. “There is no way that is the case Ominis. If he was willing to reform my friendship with him, I have no doubt he will do the same with you. You said yourself that he is very loyal.”

Ominis hummed noncommittally in response.

“It is getting late,” he finally said. “We should return to our common rooms.”

“I suppose so… I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep now,” I admitted. There was still so many strong emotions running through me, but they did feel much more manageable now after letting out that rather aggressive rant to Ominis.

“I know what you mean… I can only hope I do not run into Sebastian in the room. We aren’t sharing a dorm room but he could be in the common room.”

“Good luck, Ominis,” I squeezed his arm and we both departed the Undercroft.

********

Like I predicted, I had a hard time calming down enough to sleep. When I had returned to the dorm room, all the girls were lovely and tried to help calm me. But there were no real magic words they could say. I could only do what Ominis said and allow everything to unfold.

Once I managed to fall asleep, I had a nightmare that I was running around, lost and scared in the halls of Hogwarts. I finally came upon an abandoned classroom that had an odd glow coming through the doorway. I entered the room and came upon a massive gold mirror. The words “Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi” were along the frame. As I walked toward it, I saw an image starting to appear. Before I could look closer, a loud noise interrupted the dream.

I jolted awake looking around in a panic. Poppy glanced over at me with a sheepish expression.

“Sorry Elle… I dropped a book.”

I groaned and laid back down, dream long forgotten. It was time for a new day…

Notes:

Eleanor sure had alot of emotions to process in this chapter that she had not really let herself feel before now. Sorry there was no Seb in this one but he will return next chapter!

Thank you so much for reading! And if you'd like to, please feel free to leave a comment :) It makes me so happy to see that people like the story and hear everyone's thoughts.

Chapter 8: Push the reset button, we're becoming something new

Despite the tumultuous night, I awoke feeling much calmer (abrupt awakening from Poppy aside). Talking to Ominis had helped me process my wild emotions and I awoke feeling much more logical about the whole matter. Which was a good thing considering that we were all required to gather for a formal luncheon near the lake.

Poppy was buzzing around the room in excitement. Ominis had asked her the night of the ball if he could promenade with her at the lake and sit with her during the luncheon. She took extra care with her hair and gown this morning while the rest of us waited downstairs. Natty had shrugged off the idea of putting too much effort into her look, saying that Garreth had known her for 4 years now and he knew how she looked. Meanwhile Imelda and I did not feel the need to impress anyone.

“Poppy, so help me if you don’t get down here, we are leaving without you!” Imelda called up the stairs as the minutes ticked on.

“I am starving,” she huffed as she began pacing in aggravation.

Natty shot me an amused smile as I bit back my own smirk. Imelda was clearly the most impatient of the four of us.

Constance and Samantha walked by us on their way out of the common room. They both gave me a friendly wave as they exited. An uncomfortable feeling settled in me as I recalled that Constance was now tied to Sebastian.

“Does it feel strange to not room with them?” Natty asked me as she leaned back against the couch.

“I suppose. But I was never particularly close with either of them. I much prefer rooming with you three. Despite Imelda’s frustration over here,” I snickered.

“It must be odd for you to see Sebastian and your old roommate together,” Natty mused, eyeing me carefully.

I clenched my hands around my skirt. “It’s fine,” I said shortly, not desiring to continue that line of conversation.

Natty raised her brow but ceased the questioning.

Just when Imelda swore she was giving up and leaving, Poppy finally joined us.

“Do I look okay?” she asked up nervously.

“Poppy, Ominis is blind. He wouldn’t know if you showed up in a potato sack,” Imelda rolled her eyes.

Poppy looked down, pink spreading across her cheeks. “I know… but I thought that somehow he would know that I took extra time and effort for him. To look nice while I am by his side.”

“That is a lovely sentiment. I am sure he will be very pleased that his opinion matters so much to you,” Natty interjected before Imelda said something else.

****

The moment the four of us were outside, Poppy immediately ran up to join Ominis. I saw him jump slightly in surprise as she sprung to his side. I watched a large smile grace his face and I am certain I saw a light dusting of pink on his cheeks.

I couldn’t help but smile as well while watching them. It was nice to see two good people find potential love together. They both deserved so much happiness.

Natty meanwhile headed to search for Garreth, leaving Imelda and I alone.

“Well Imelda, what is your plan for this luncheon?” I turned to her.

She shrugged. “I’m just going to grab something and sit alone. We’ll see if anyone is brave enough to join me.”

I bit my lip to hold in my laugh. Imelda was certainly a force to be reckoned with. I couldn’t wait to see who would try to pursue her.

Now standing alone, I let out a long sigh, unsure what to do or where to go.

Deciding that maybe Imelda had the right idea, I headed to a nice shaded tree far from the crowd and leaned against it, people watching. I did not want nor expect anyone to approach me, but I had to admit it was rather entertaining to see everyone else floundering around and trying to impress one another.

I could see Ominis and Poppy walking towards the lake, her arm in his. They were both blushing and I could see Ominis laughing. I looked away, wanting them to have their privacy.

Natty had finally found Garreth. They were standing at the drinks table while Garreth was being a gentleman and getting a drink for her.

Samantha and Everett were sitting on the ground on a blanket, each eating a sandwich and …apparently sharing one drink? I shuddered. Perhaps it was a good thing that I was completely uninterested in romance if it meant I would want to share my drink with another person.

Forcing myself to look elsewhere, I saw Leander on the lookout for someone. He was actively looking across everyone for someone specific I assumed. His eyes met mine and he stilled, before heading to me. Oh no. I looked away quickly, trying to put off a “do not mess with me” energy. Clearly it was not working since I could hear his steps approaching.

“Miss Porter,” he said above me, standing while I remained sitting. “Leander,” I responded, not willing to engage in the social protocol with him.

“Would you like to have a drink together?” he offered, voice a mix of pompous energy and expectation.

Surely, he is not delusional enough to believe that I have feelings for him? Based on his expression, clearly the answer was yes.

“Leander, I would much rather be left alone this afternoon,” I responded, trying my best to keep my tone even.

“Come now, Eleanor! The entire point of this event is to be social. You can’t just be over here by yourself!”

I flexed my fingers, burying them in the folds of my dress in order to fight temptation to call on my ancient magic.

“I can do whatever I wish, Leander. It’s not your decision what I do,” I replied in a scathing tone.

“Whatever did I do to invite this level of scorn?” he scoffed.

“Would you like a list?” I glared up at him.

As he opened his mouth to no doubt argue more, another voice interrupted us.

“Leander, I think it’s best if you leave the lady like she kindly asked you earlier,” Sebastian interjected. He was standing a few feet away, Constance on his arm.

“This has nothing to do with you, Sallow,” Leander bit out.

“Prewett, you are behaving inappropriately,” Constance jumped in, glaring at him as well.

Leander rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll step away for now, but I won’t give up!” With that he finally wandered away.

I sagged against the tree in relief.

“What a jerk,” Constance scorned in clear distaste.

She glanced down at me, before tugging Sebastian down to have them both sit with me.

“Are you okay, Elle?” Constance asked me, touching my arm in concern.

I could not help but smile at her kindness. “I am. Thank you for your assistance.”

Sebastian was aggressively glaring at Leander watching him to ensure he was not going to return.

Finally breaking his stare away from Leander, he turned to me.

“He really cannot take a hint, can he,” his mouth twisted in clear distaste.

“No, but what else is new?” I asked rhetorically. “You would think it’d be a big enough hint that I put myself far away from the crowd.”

Constance suddenly perked up. “Sebastian! Samantha and Everett are going for a swim in the lake! Can we go join them, please?”

Sebastian and I turned to the direction she was looking in. Sure enough, several people were heading into the water, formal wear and all.

Sebastian wrinkled his nose. “I’d rather not. But go ahead, Constance. I’ll wait here for you.”

Constance did not need to be told twice. She sprung right up and rushed off, clearly eager to cool off in the water.

Sebastian chuckled at her antics before looking back at me.

“Do you mind the company? I can find somewhere else if you’d prefer to be alone.”

“Not at all. Perhaps your presence here will prevent anyone else from approaching me.”

Sebastian snorted. “Glad to be of assistance,” he rolled his eyes good naturedly.

“So…why exactly are you all the way over here?” he asked tentatively. Perhaps worried it was too personal of a question.

I shrugged. “There is no one here I am interested in courting. I’d rather just enjoy the events for what they are rather than entertaining the whole potential spouse aspect.”

Sebastian’s expression seemed oddly fascinated. “I might have to seek you out more often then just to get a break from hearing all the gossip.”

“Hey now! I didn’t say I did not enjoy the gossip!” I grinned. “I simply would rather watch all of it play out instead of directly being in the middle of it.”

Sebastian shook his head. “Well at least you are smart enough to stay on the sidelines. Constance and I have found ourselves to be the main topic of gossip right now.”

“It will fade away. Something else will happen soon enough that will put the spotlight on another couple.”

Sebastian made an aggravated noise before agreeing.

“Congratulations, by the way,” I offered.

He shot me an indecipherable look. “Thank you,” he responded and did not add anything further.

Now feeling uncomfortable with his response, I looked away embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m still getting used to the idea of it.”

My lips pulled into a frown. “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing…I just-“ he cut himself off. “Forget about it.”

He looked so frustrated, but I could not imagine why.

“You know…” I started, hesitancy filling my words, “we once were able to speak openly with one another. I … would be open to being that way again… if you would be as well?”

I was terrified to offer him this olive branch. Scared he would once again misuse my trust in him. But something in me deeply and painfully yearned for this.

Sebastian’s eyes widened. For once, I could clearly see all his emotions and thoughts clearly. Shock, confusion, sadness, happiness. It was all there shining in his eyes.

“I would like that as well,” he finally choked out.

“I suppose it’s time for us to finally sit down and talk?” My heart was slamming against my chest so loud that I could barely hear my own words.

Sebastian ran his hand through his hair, tugging at it with tension.

“Yes. Let’s-- yes. We need to, I think.” After another pause, he continued. “Would you want to meet in the Undercroft late tonight? That might be our best opportunity at remaining inconspicuous.”

Given all the rules and expectations of propriety, we would have to make a point to be extra sneaky.

“Midnight then?” I asked him.

“Midnight.”

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Next chapter will get them finally having their first honest talk since everything went down ahh!
I adore comments, they really lift me up when I'm feeling down.
See you all next chapter!

Chapter 9: Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray

I hesitated outside the entrance to the Undercroft as I heard the clock chime midnight. Sebastian might be on the other side of the door. My nerves were all over the place. I could barely keep it together as the reality of this moment became clearer.

You wanted this, I reminded myself. You told him to be here. Now get through that door.

It turned out that all that self-encouragement was for nothing. Sebastian was not here yet.

A mix of disappointment and relief surged through me. At least I had a moment to try to gather my thoughts. I sat against one of the pillars and closed my eyes, attempting to calm my racing mind.

It had been awhile since I took the time to do this, but after 5^th year, it was the only way I knew to preserve my sanity. My anxiety and fear were at an all time high back then. I barely knew how to function. Anything could remind of all the horrible things I witnessed….the horrible things I did.

Hearing someone rush into the room broke my concentration. I opened my eyes to see Sebastian in front of me, heaving huge breaths.

“Sorry,” he gasped while doubled over. “Some of the boys were playing a game in the common room and I had to wait to sneak out.”

I fidgeted with the edge of my blouse. “It’s okay Sebastian. Catch your breath. You didn’t need to rush.”

He looked sheepishly at me. As his breathing slowed, he admitted: “I was worried you would leave if I wasn’t here.”

Ah. I could not fault him for that thinking at all. I was so angry at him for so long that I would have had little patience for him. But I hoped that whatever happened tonight could pave the pathway for a renewed relationship.

“Perhaps we should find some method of communication for the future,” I mused. “Some way to talk to each other without risking unwanted attention.”

Sebastian’s brows furrowed in the way that I recalled meant he was in deep thought.

“I bet I could find something in the library,” he rubbed his jaw absentmindedly. “I’m sure I’ve seen something on magical forms of communication.”

“I suppose it’s a good thing I enjoy research,” I sigh. “Though admittedly I was rather looking forward to having a break before work.”

“I don’t mind doing this,” Sebastian offered. “Though it would be more enjoyable if you were at my side again.”

“No, I couldn’t make you do all the work for this. We will do it together,” I waved off his offer, trying to suppress the joyful leap of my heart at his words.

“We can meet up tomorrow after breakfast? We don’t have anything formal scheduled,” Sebastian asked in a casual tone, clearly trying to disguise the hopeful lilt in his words.

I smiled behind my hand. “Let’s do it. Hopefully the Professors won’t object given how public of a place the library is.”

Sebastian huffed. “It is absolutely ridiculous the rules they’ve put in place. It makes it hard to do anything now.”

“And yet you manage,” my voice cuts in, a little more annoyed than I intended.

“What on earth does that mean?” Sebastian looked offended.

“I…saw you and Constance sneak away,” I coughed awkwardly, immediately regretting my comment.

His brows shot up, slack-jawed.

“Well that figures,” he stared up at the ceiling in frustration. “If we are starting to be honest with one another again, I suppose I need to tell you this. I did not propose to Constance voluntarily. We were caught together by Professor Sharp and he told us it was required of us to marry.” Sebastian’s arms were tightly crossed across his chest, as though he were expecting vicious words to be flung at him.

“Sebastian,” I gasped, slapping my hands back to my mouth in deep shock. I don’t know what I expected him to say but it absolutely was not that. I thought he surely had made the purposeful choice to end his bachelor days. In retrospect, Constance did seem like an odd marriage candidate for him since I had only seen them together at the ball.

“I know, I know,” he grumbled. “I thought we were being careful, but then Sharp came into the room.” His mouth twisted as he recalled the memory. He met my eyes. “Well? Surely you’ve got something to say about it? I imagine this is exactly what you’d expect me to do.”

I didn’t like the challenge in his tone, but I understood why he was being so defensive. We had barely reconnected and now he was admitting to another life-altering mistake.

Choosing my words carefully, I spoke: “I don’t think there is any reason for me to comment. It sounds like you and Constance accepted the consequences. And she is really a nice girl. If you were going to be forced to marry someone, better her than someone else.”

His arms loosened from his protective hold he had on himself. “I admit, its nice to tell someone about this. We have to keep it a secret to protect her reputation.”

I arched my brow. “And yet you chose to tell me?”

“Oh come on now! You carry so many secrets. I trust you to be discreet in anything I share with you.”

Against my better efforts I feel myself smile. “Yet I could never hold back from you. I told you all of my secrets.”

He huffed a laugh. “Point taken. But regardless, outside of me, you’re a fortress. No one is getting any information out of you.”

I puffed with pride. It had felt like a really long time since anyone had told me I was good at anything. Everything went downhill after saving Hogwarts and it seemed like I was back to disappointing everyone around me. It was a nice change getting to Hogwarts and having people admire me for once. But I suppose disappointing people with my very existence was my fate.

Sebastian shifted his weight for a moment, seemingly trying to think of something to say before apparently landing on his next topic. “Well, that’s enough about me for now. I want to hear more about you, Eleanor. I feel like all I know about you now is that you’re going to be an Unspeakable.”

I immediately averted my gaze from him to the wall. It felt so rare for someone to show genuine interest in me as a person, I found that it made me uncomfortable. I did not know how to emotionally process the turn in conversation.

There was a long silence before Sebastian spoke again. “What’s wrong?”

The discomfort surged into anger trapped down over the years. Resentment that had built with no outlet.

“Why does it matter to you?” I snapped.

“What is wrong with you?” he stared, mouth open.

“Its not like you ever cared before. Don’t start pretending to care now when we are trying to be honest with each other again.”

Sebastian reared back as though I slapped him. “How can you think that? I helped you with your ancient magic research! I taught you spells that I hoped might save your life!” By the end of his outburst, he was angry. His hands fisted at his sides.

“Oh please,” I sneered. “That was all in hopes to serve you. You wanted my ancient magic to cure Anne. You wanted me to use the Unforgivables so that I wouldn’t judge you for falling further into the Dark Arts.”

With what looked like extreme effort, Sebastian tried to calm himself. “I admit that I did hope your ancient magic could help Anne. How could I not hope for that when I saw firsthand everything your magic was capable of? But that was not the sole reason for helping you. I thought we were partners. That I would help you and you would help me.”

I did not respond, instead glaring at him. That was hardly a convincing speech given his behavior that year.

Sebastian threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Fine! You need something better than that? What about when I took the fall for us that first time in the Restricted section? I didn’t see you complaining then!”

“I recall,” I began coldly, “You telling me that you like having friends in your debt.”

Sebastian froze before he smacked his hand against his face. “Okay that sounds bad now… but would you believe me if I said I just said that to try to sound charming?”

My deep skepticism must have shown on my face given Sebastian immediately began to elaborate.

“Look, I admit that I do sometimes try to manipulate situations or that I might try to be friendly with people who I think might be of use to me. I’ve done a lot of thinking the past two years over what had happened. But that specifically was me….” he paused, noticeably cringing. He cleared his throat before saying in a much quieter tone, “flirting.”

“Flirting?!”

He winced. “Yes. I suppose I tend to default to flirting with girls that I casually know. I don’t know – it’s just for fun!” He was fully flustered and looked like he was about to bolt out of the room.

A crazy thought entered my mind. “Did you like me?” I asked incredulously, wondering how I had never picked up on that.

“No, no,” he quickly refuted. “It’s not mature of me, I know. But I just found it fun to see reactions to it.”

I eyed him, unimpressed at his admission. He was certainly correct that it was not mature behavior. I didn’t like the idea of someone playing around with others’ emotions by flirting with no intentions. Choosing to ignore that rather aggravating bit of knowledge, I focused on something else he mentioned: “You did say you are friendly with people you think are useful. Please tell me the truth. Was that all I was to you?”

He looked away in shame. “It started that way. Even before I saw your ancient magic, I found you interesting and thought you could be a powerful friend to have, given how you so quickly beat me our first duel.” His eyes snapped to mine, looking at me intensely. “But that changed quickly. As early as our first Hogsmeade trip. You were so witty and fun as we chatted on our walk. I had selfish intentions when we started getting to know each other, but the rest was genuine, I promise you.”

“I wish I could believe that,” I sighed sadly.

Never one to stay even-tempered too long, I saw him bristle at the underlying accusation. “I helped you with your tasks as well! I encouraged you and helped you stay alive! What more did you want from me?!”

“I wanted you to care about me!” I screamed. “The same way that I cared about you!”

Despite my screaming, Sebastian’s eyes softened.

“I did care about you. I still do,” Sebastian said, his voice unusually tender.

The fight suddenly left me. All that remained was the same sorrow that I had carried in my heart for the past couple of years.

“You don’t even really know me, Sebastian. How can say you care about me? Do you even know anything about me? About my family? About my life?”

“I admit I was selfish in fifth year. Too caught up in my own problems that I didn’t take the time to ask more about you. But it didn’t mean that I didn’t care then or that I didn’t know you. I knew you were clever, fearless, and feisty. I so enjoyed our banter. You would indeed give as good as you’d get. And you were kind. Despite all you were dealing with, you took the time to help me. You supported me when no else around me would. It felt like you were the only one in my life who even cared.”

He paused, taking a deep breath, before continuing.

“I want to rectify my mistakes with you. I want to know you fully and for us to be on equal footing with one another this time around. You were once my biggest supporter. If you’d let me, I would like to be that for you.”

Fear and hope battled within me.

I wanted him to be that for me, but I was terrified if he messed up that it would just completely shatter my heart. It took me a long time to recover from all the horrid things I experienced in fifth year. My heart felt too tender now. I couldn’t bear any further hurt or disappointment.

Unexpectedly, he grabbed at my hand and held it with both of his hands. “I swear to you that I will be better.  I won’t make the same mistakes this time. I need you in my life again. Please,” he begged.

I had always been so weak willed when it came to him. All it took was me seeing his brown eyes full of pained emotion, and I instantly bent to his will. I nodded and he immediately hoisted me up into a hug. I giggled as he spun us around.

We grinned at each other, caught up in the moment of the joy of truly reconnecting.

In the silence, the peace we felt gave way to exhaustion finally catching up to the two of us. We had surely been down here for at least an hour or two.

Finally on the same page regarding our friendship (both past and present), we both headed to the exit of the Undercroft.

“I’ll see you in the library tomorrow,” he smiled and squeezed my hand right before he snuck away.

I returned to my common room, disillusioned with cheeks aching from a smile permanently etched upon my face. It was so freeing to finally get to speak of my pain and hurt to him. And he not only validated it but promised that he would be better. I hoped he was honest, but for now I just wanted to relish in the moment.

Notes:

Major thank you to Unreliablenarrator for beta reading this chapter! I finally have a beta reader woo! Hopefully from here on out the story will be sounding improved.

I am on tumblr so come chat with me - endless-starlight-legacy :)

Chapter 10: You cut out a piece of me and now I'm bleeding internally, left here without you

Notes:

For the first time we have Sebastian's POV. This chapter is a flashback for the start of 6th year.

I don't normally list songs but I have several for Sebastian during his period of heartbreak:
*Without You - Kid Laroi and Miley Cyrus
*People That I Love Leave - Cassadee Pope
*Before You Leave Me - Alex Warren
*Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield

**Flashback – Sebastian’s POV**

Sebastian was alone all summer following 5^th year. He came home to a letter from Anne telling him that she could never forgive him. The pain keeled him over. Grasping at the letter on the ground, his sobs were the only sound that filled the house that summer.

Neither Ominis nor Eleanor wrote him over the summer. He knew they were angry, and he couldn’t blame them. But Sebastian had hoped that maybe Ominis would view the new school year as a new opportunity to forgive him.

He was very wrong. The first night back in the dorms, Ominis made it clear that he wanted nothing more to do with Sebastian.

“Sebastian, I cannot handle being around you anymore. I still care about you, but you have destroyed our friendship. You forced me to be around Dark Arts again. Do you know what it was like to hear you curse Eleanor with Cruciatus? To find out you cast both the Imperius and Killing curse? You murdered your uncle! You knew my history. You were supposed to be my friend! But you dragged me back into something I have been trying to escape for years.”

Ominis looked hurt but resolute.

“Ominis please! I learned my lesson. I won’t ever touch it again. I don’t want to lose you as well,” Sebastian begged, fear pouring out of his voice.

“I can’t trust you now. There’s nothing that you say to me that can mend the burned bridge of our friendship. You manipulated me, manipulated Eleanor. Hurt Anne. Not to even say what happened to Solomon… I cannot ever forgive you. ”

Ominis turned his face away, not wanting Sebastian to see his pain and try to manipulate him further to forgive him.

Sebastian backed away, heart pounding in panic. Ominis was supposed to forgive him. Ominis always forgave him.

Ominis went into his bed, pulling the curtains closed to prevent Sebastian from interacting with him any further.

First Anne left him, now Ominis. He needed to find Eleanor first thing tomorrow morning. He needed someone, anyone to be willing to stay.

Ice and fear climbed through his body as he went into the common room. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Ominis. His presence, once comforting, was now a solid reminder of the mistakes he made. What his obsession had cost him.

He laid on the couch near the file, hoping the heat of the flames could warm his shivering.

There was no way he was sleeping tonight. He simply watched the flames, mind replaying all his mistakes on repeat.

Once his watch said 6:00 a.m., he pulled himself off the couch to go straight to the Great Hall. He didn’t even care that he was wearing the same clothes from the day before or that he looked unkempt. All he knew was that he needed Eleanor.

Forgoing the rules, he sat down at the Ravenclaw table eyeing the door until Eleanor came in.

It was at least an hour before he finally watched her enter. The nausea that had been lingering spiked to near unbearable levels. Swallowing to prevent himself from dry heaving, he watched Eleanor approach the table. He saw the moment that Eleanor spotted him. She froze, her face instantly transforming from its sleepy state to pure coldness. She turned on her heel immediately and headed back out of the hall. Desperate, Sebastian pushed back his chair so hard that it clattered to the floor. Nearly tripping over the fallen chair, he ran after Eleanor.

“Eleanor, please wait,” he called out to her, trying to grab at her arm.

Eleanor swung around and stared down Sebastian with an expression he had never seen on her face. Even when they faced down Ashwinders and spiders, he had never seen such anger and hatred on her face. Subconsciously, he took a step back.

“What is it, Sebastian?” Eleanor crossed her arms, making it clear that he was not welcome.

“I – I wanted to talk to you. I need to apologize...” Sebastian gulped, trying to find the breath to somehow force the words out.

Eleanor scoffed and looked away from him. “And what exactly are you apologizing for? The way you used me and my magic? The fact that you were able to mean Crucio and curse me? That I had to come to your rescue when you were surrounded by Inferi, only to find out that you were the one who called them? That I had to witness you murdering your uncle and see your twin sister fall to her knees in pain? Please tell me what exactly you are hoping to apologize for because I don’t think there is anything you could possibly say that can fix any of it!”

Sebastian was speechless listening to his crimes listed out so eloquently and detailed. Eleanor was right… he had messed up over and over. He didn't know how to stop and got himself in far too deep.

Eleanor looked him back in the eye, clearly wanting him to hear this clearly. “There is nothing you can say to me that would make me want to talk to you ever again. Leave me alone, Sebastian.”

The bit of hope in him immediately extinguished. He reigned in his emotions, not willing to let Eleanor see the way he was affecting him. And so for the first time he put on a careless façade. He was done being broken-hearted.  He wouldn’t let anyone get close to him ever again.

Notes:

This chapter was really hard to write. But it's important to see what's been going on for Sebastian in the background and what happened to his relationships with Ominis and Eleanor. Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 11: They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl"

Despite our late night, Sebastian and I found ourselves energized the next morning as we skimmed through book after book. Scribner was hovering nearby, no doubt acting as a chaperone lest we decide to act scandalous. A concerning thought suddenly popped into my head.

“Sebastian,” I hesitated. Sebastian peered up, confused at my tone. “Should you have Constance with you? I don’t want to cause issues for you two if we are seen alone.”

Sebastian frowned, considering my concern. “Surely it would be fine for us to be in a library together? Its not as though we are eating one on one in the Great Hall.” Despite his words, he did not seem convinced.

As if to prove just how improper it was for Sebastian and I to be here together, Cressida Blume walked by holding a book, glaring openly at me.

Fighting the urge to want to slip under the table, I instead stared back defiantly at her until she finally was out of sight. I looked back at Sebastian who was watching me with warring amusement and concern.

“Still feisty as ever,” he smirked at me. I scowled at the book in front of me.

“Easy for you to say… notice how Cressida was judging only me and not you.”

The amusement fled his face. “I know…” he looked away, frustrated. “It’s ridiculous this odd double standard. If she’s going to be protective of Constance, then she should be far angrier at me than you.”

I sunk into my chair. Perhaps my fear wasn’t so unfounded after all if we were already encountering issues due to Sebastian being betrothed.

Sebastian tapped his fingers on the table in anxious thought.

“I didn’t expect this to be a problem in this way,” he admitted quietly. “I don’t want to hurt you or Constance.”

I did not know which way he meant and I was too afraid to ask.

“Maybe,” I forced out, “we just are not meant to be friends. We reconciled too late.” I put voice to my deep worries.

Sebastian looked stricken, as though I had slapped him. “No! Don’t say something like that! We will find a way to make this work somehow.”

Proving his sheer determination to fix things once again, he dived back into his open book.

It was nearly lunchtime before Sebastian found something relevant to our research.

“Look here!” In his enthusiasm he flung the book right under my nose. “There is a way to charm mirrors. All we have to do is call out each other’s name and the person will appear.”

“We will need to find some small handheld mirrors,” I mused, thinking of the giant mirrors in the dorm rooms. Somehow, I doubted any of my friends would be thrilled at the intrusion of a male in the room, even if it was only his image.

Sebastian shrugged. “Easy enough. Probably could find some at Hogsmeade.”

“I’ll leave you to it then,” I glowered. I wanted to go with him. Of course, I loved visiting the village but I wanted to go there with him again. We had not shared a butterbeer together since 5^th year and I yearned to experience it again.

Sebastian was not fooled for a moment, somehow able to read my mind again as easily as he used to.

“You can go with me, you know. I will bring Constance along, and I am certain she will be happy to have you join the two of us. She speaks highly of you.”

I smiled self-consciously. It was odd and frankly uncomfortable to have to 3^rd wheel their relationship like this.

“If you’re sure?” I gave him a chance to backout.

Sebastian, confident as ever, nodded with complete assurance. “Certainly. I’ll ask Constance if she is available after lunch and the three of us can meet at the entranceway.”

He offered me his arm so he could escort me to the Great Hall for lunch. I took it.

As we neared the Great Hall, more and more people turned and stared at us, whispering to one another. I discreetly slipped my hand off his arm.

Sebastian shot me an indiscernible look out of the corner of his eye and allowed me to gain some more distance from him so that we could enter separately.

I immediately headed to a seat next to Poppy, Imelda, and Natty. As I settled, I saw Sebastian crouched down next to Constance so he could talk to her about our plans. I diverted my eyes away from them when Constance held onto Sebastian’s arm…the same place my hand had been just a few minutes ago.

“How was the library?” Natty asked as she added a few different vegetables to her plate.

“It was productive,” I grimaced.

“What’s that face for?” Imelda raised her brow.

I ran my hand through my hair, sighing in deep frustration and worry. “Cressida saw us in the library and glared me. She clearly thinks I am trying to steal away Constance’s fiancé.”

“So she’s a bitch,” Imelda shrugged. “Who cares about her?”

“It’s not just her!” I insisted, voice rising. “We got so many stares and whispers just walking here for lunch!”

Poppy exchanged a look with Natty.

“People will be judgmental, but you just have to be true to yourself. You know there is nothing wrong with you having a friendship with a boy, regardless of his marital status. Everyone else knows this as well. They just want to feast on any bit of spectacle. I can tell you firsthand that Cressida is an instigator and I would not give another thought to her untoward behavior,” Natty spoke with clear passion.

I nodded and shot another look over at Sebastian and Constance. They were still chatting and openly laughing with one another. How long did it take to make plans? I forced my eyes away again and listened to the chatter of my friends.

Less than an hour later I joined Sebastian and Constance who were already at the Entrance Hall door.

Constance smiled at me, looking far more friendly than I would have expected.

“Are you ready to take a break from the castle?” she asked me as the three of us began the familiar walk to Hogsmeade. Constance held onto Sebastian’s arm until we were past the crowd of those lingering outside. Upon dropping his arm, Constance skipped ahead of him a bit to chat with me as she walked backwards in order to face us. Sebastian chuckled at Constance’s antics.

“It is nice to take a chance to leave behind all the propriety a bit,” I admitted to her.

Constance nodded with enthusiasm. “Yes, I absolutely agree. I am certainly not a fan of it. Especially not now.” She pulled a face. I assumed she was thinking of the way she and Sebastian were forced into their engagement purely for the sake of respectability.

I glanced over at Sebastian who was remaining uncharacteristically quiet, his face serious.

Constance changed the subject as the silence lingered on. “Sebastian tells me we are on this day trip to get some hand-held mirrors for you two?”

I felt suddenly flustered at the question. As though I were admitting to her that I was trying to steal her fiancé away. “Er…yes?” I couldn’t help but voice it as a question.

Constance smiled kindly as Sebastian stepped in. “There is no need to be worried about Constance, Eleanor. She has plenty of friends herself. The only people judging us are those on the outside.”

Constance nodded her agreement. “I wonder where would be the best places to look for the mirrors?” she mused.

“I may have an idea actually…” I drifted off, trying to recall if I had seen small mirrors. “I own a store where there’s a random assortment of items. I think it would be good to check there first.”

Sebastian stopped to gape at me. “You have a store?! When?! How?!”

I giggled at his shock. It always made me a bit giddy to see people’s reactions to the rather bizarre events I experienced 5^th year. “I bought it sometime in winter of our 5^th year. It’s a wild story actually. Its haunted by an insane poltergeist who tried to murder me repeatedly before we made a deal.”

“You had a store that you bought in 5^th year and you didn’t tell me?!” Sebastian's expression morphed from shock to affronted.

“I had a lot going on,” I shrug. “Honestly, I tend to forget about it.”

Sebastian just shook his head. “You and your adventures. They never cease to surprise me.”

I led the three of us to Stitches and Draughts. Penny dropped the rag she was using to polish a silver plaque.

“Miss Eleanor! I haven’t seen you in a while!” Penny exclaimed, excited to see someone in the store, no doubt.

“Hello Penny,” I greeted. “How is everything going?”

“Oh Penny makes at least one sale a day. It’s always nice to have someone come in and talk with Penny.”

“Thank you for keeping up the shop for me. I wonder – do we have any small mirrors in stock?”

Penny led us to the back corner where there was a surprising selection of mirrors.  “Penny has bought a few here and there from customers,” she explained.

Sebastian knelt down to take a closer look at the ones tucked further in. He reached and grabbed onto two mismatched mirrors. “I think these will be good. What do you say Elle?”

I eyed the two he selected. One had a nice ornate frame and a handle. Even without its magical use, it would be a pretty piece. I took that one out of his hand. “I would like this one to be mine.”

Sebastian stood with the remaining mirror in his hand. A plain mirror but with a stand, so that he could keep it upright with no effort.

“Lets go ahead and try the spell,” he said as he took my mirror back and wandered to the counter. Placing both on the counter, he took out his wand to cast the spell. Constance and I watched intrigued at his movements.

He beckoned me forward. “Okay to get this assigned to us correctly, I need you to pick up your mirror and go ahead and say my name to it.”

I did as he asked as I watched Sebastian then take his own mirror and say my name into it. We tapped the mirrors together and there was a brief blue glow around them before it very quickly faded away.

“I think that should be it,” Sebastian said as he looked at his mirror in interest, trying to pick out any visual differences.

Testing the mirror’s, I called out “Sebastian Sallow.”

Sebastian’s and my mirror both glowed as I heard my own voice come out of the other mirror. Sebastian’s eyes lit up. “My mirror is warming up as your image clears up. I suppose it’s a way of the mirror letting me know you’re calling me in case I don’t hear you.”

Sebastian lifted the mirror to his face and I could now see him in my own. We both started laughing at our success. “This feels a bit silly,” I admit, still laughing.

Sebastian shrugged. “Yeah, but it will be a lot easier to talk without sneaking away and hoping that we don’t get caught.”

Still watching Sebastian in my mirror, I ask, “How do we end the connection?”

“Simply we say ‘goodbye’ and the mirror will understand our intent.” And with that Sebastian’s image immediately cleared up. It was a normal mirror again.

Sebastian and I grinned at each other. Though this was a small accomplishment compared to our quests years ago, it felt so good to achieve something with him again.

“Now that you two have successfully finished, can Sebastian and I go to the tea shop? I’d like to have him to myself for a bit,” Constance smiled.

“Oh... of – of course,” I stuttered. I had completely forgotten she was even in the store with us.

“Thank you,” she smiled kindly at me, as she placed her hand on Sebastian’s arm.

Sebastian looked sheepishly at me. “Let’s talk later?”

“Of course,” I said yet again, clearly incapable of coming up with any other words.

As the two left, I stayed rooted to my spot. Despite having spent so much of the day already with Sebastian, I suddenly felt irrationally lonely. It was only at Penny’s prompting that I broke my gaze away from the window. Forcing all of my attention onto her, I sat down at the nearest chair.

“Tell me more about the store,” I encouraged. As she rambled on, I felt my mind wander as I daydreamed about the time I had spent with him that day.

Notes:

We are now entering 1 of the 2 major song themes of the story - "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" where the chorus embodies the rumors the two are only just starting to encounter. Love is still aways away from them but its slowly building as they get a chance to bond!

Also I want to go ahead and clarify this - the relic did not influence Sebastian to kill his uncle. Sebastian did everything on his own account. That is part of why Eleanor and Ominis are so angry at Sebastian. Because he just dove off into darkness and ended up committing a horrendous crime.

Thank you so much for reading <3

Chapter 12: "Whenever you break, I'll fix it for you"

True to his word, Sebastian and I did talk later. In fact, it was really only a couple of hours later. I had only just returned to the castle when I heard Sebastian calling out my name. Confused, I looked around, thinking he was right next to me. Perhaps under the Disillusionment Charm? My pocket started warming considerably, and then I smacked my hand to my face. The mirror.

“Sebastian,” I breathed, looking into the mirror.

Sebastian was grinning self-consciously back at me. “I hope I didn’t contact you at a bad time. I just ….wanted to talk to you some more.”

It was still strange seeing Sebastian not being the embodiment of confidence. But ever since we had started talking in our group assignment, he had moments like now where he was unsure of me. I understood why, but I did miss seeing that cocky smile of his. Even if it did usually mean a whirlwind of chaos was heading our way.

“I’m surprised to hear from you so soon. I thought you would still be with Constance.” I hoped he couldn’t detect any underlying meaning in my words or tone.

A bit of his trademark smirk appeared. “She and I had our time together. And now it’s our turn.”

I blushed furiously. “Sebastian,” I hissed. “You can’t say things like that. It sounds like I’m your mistress.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “You worry too much about the opinions of others.”

“You should worry more,” I replied disdainfully. “Do you not remember what happened in the library just this morning?”

To his credit, the reminder left him shameful. “Ah, yes. You’re right. I apologize Elle.”

I raised my brow, surprised. “Thank you.”

There was an awkward pause. Sebastian seeming uncertain again.

“We got these mirrors to reconnect and learn about each other again. We could start asking each other questions? Like “Never Have I Ever”?” I extended an olive branch to him.

“The drinking game?” he laughed. “I don’t take you for the kind of person who would partake in such things!”

I huffed. “Well we obviously don’t have to drink! We could just do the questions.”

Sebastian was still chuckling to himself. “Sure, sure. Sounds good. Why don’t you start us off?”

My mouth twitched into a small smile. “Never Have I Ever…tried haggis.”

Sebastian grinned deviously. “What I’m hearing is that I need to introduce you to this dish then.”

I wrinkled my nose. “No.”

“You’re missing out. It’s actually pretty decent when done well,” Sebastian attempted to persuade.

“I’ll try haggis if you try escargot,” I bargained, thinking there was no way he would want to try snails.

He looked thoughtfully off to the side. “Deal,” he said as he looked back at me.

My jaw dropped in horror. “Wait – “

“Sorry, dear Ellie. A deal is a deal,” he taunted.

I crossed my arms despite knowing he wouldn’t be able to see it.

“Don’t you pout at me,” he grinned. “You were the one who made the offer.”

“I didn’t think you’d accept it,” I muttered, irritated.

He shrugged. “Perhaps I’m willing to widen my horizons.”

Somehow the words felt like they referred to more than just this discussion of foods.

“Never Have I Ever… seen a phoenix,” Sebastian said, staring at me in a peculiar manner.

“I have a feeling you’re saying this for a reason. And yes, to confirm the rumors you’ve likely heard, I have seen a phoenix. I even kept him in a vivarium for awhile when the poaching was going on.”

Sebastian stared in awe. “You really have gone on the most incredulous adventures. How would you have even found one?”

His words, though complimentary, pricked at an insecurity. A tiny voice that had whispered to me that Sebastian only liked my adventurous side.

“Sebastian, you need to know that I’m not the same person as I was back then. Once everything happened with Ranrok, I have had no desire to go out there to explore or duel. I became a normal student,” I shrugged.

“It was fun back then doing all that with you, I admit. But I’ve changed as well. And I don’t care if you’re not adventurous, as you claim. I just care about you as you are. Right now.”

My hands trembled as I pushed a lock of my hair out of my face.

“I want to go again for another round,” he said, his eyes softening as he watched me. “Never Have I Ever… not missed you.”

“You’re not playing fair,” I looked away, eyes prickling at his sincerity.

“I just want you to know how important you are to me,” he responded. “You are perfect the way you are. Past, present, and future.”

I still couldn’t look at him. I had no idea what his expression was.

“And I’ll do whatever I need to do to redeem myself in your eyes. Even if its eat a plate a snails,” he teased lightly.

I finally turned back to him. He was watching me intensely, his eyes as serious as I had ever seen them.

“I just want you to know me. Truly know me,” I finally said. “Not be someone you call on for favors. I want to believe that I am enough as I am.”

“I know,” his eyes tracked mine. “I will not allow myself to let you down this time. You mean so much to me. More than you know.”

I bit my lip to try to conceal my smile. I nervously twirled my finger in my waves of my hair.

He continued speaking. “And that is why I went and found this list of questions in an older Daily Prophet. It’s ‘getting to know you’ type questions.” He brandished the article in front of his image in the mirror.

I couldn’t have schooled my expression if I tried. “Wait… you went and found this? For this purpose?”

A faint pink tinged his cheeks. “I did,” he confirmed.

This action alone meant more to me than anything else he had said. This was a tangible way of showing me he was serious about wanting to know me.

“So,” he cleared his throat, and began to read the first question aloud. “If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?”

I blinked, taken aback. I expected more “what is your favorite color” sort of questions. Not anything that involved actual thinking.

“Erm…” I tried to think of people I admired. Only one person came to mind. “Honestly… I wish I could have one last meal with Professor Fig. He was the first adult who seemed to care about me. The only one who offered unconditional support.”

Sebastian frowned at the implication of my words. “Will you tell me about your family?” he asked.

Taken aback, I paused. This was something I did not talk about. Not with him, not with anyone.

“You don’t have to answer,” he said, trying to reassure me.

I cast my eyes to the ground, internally debating. I used to trust Sebastian above all my other companions. Maybe this was our true test. Could I really trust him fully again? I wanted to. And maybe deep down, I never stopped really needing him back by my side. My most trusted friend.

“I come from a wealthy Muggle family. My mother died after giving birth to me from an infection. My father did not care about me. When I was four years old, my father married a woman who decided she did not like me either. They eventually had my half-siblings: two boys and a girl. They all just ignored my existence. My father ensured that I was fed and reasonably healthy, but that is all. I didn’t even have a governess which is unheard of. Everything I learned, I had to teach myself. I am terrible at embroidery and sewing as a result. But I did my best to teach myself from books. I self-taught myself piano and maths. It was so very lonely… I would cry myself to sleep for years, just wanting a friend. Someone who would want me… Then one day Professor Fig came to visit me. And well, you know the rest.”

I had been staring off as I spoke, lost in the memories of my childhood. Only now did I look back at Sebastian after finishing. Sebastian’s eyes were downcast, shaking his head over and over.

“They’re despicable,” he murmured. “You deserve so much better than them. I’m glad Professor Fig took you away. I’m glad you’re here with us…with me.”

I smiled in a melancholy sort of way. “It is much better here in many ways,” I agree.

“Well you already know my tragic family story,” Sebastian grimaced. “So I suppose we have that in common.”

I tilted my head. “I haven’t heard you talk much about your parents other than a brief comment here or there.”

Sebastian looked upward, presumably at the ceiling. I could only assume he was considering if he wanted to share such intimate details.

“My parents, as you know, were professors. As a result, our home was filled with so many books. Textbooks and fictional stories alike. My mum would read to Anne and I every night. It’s the thing I tend to miss the most….” Sebastian drifted off momentarily before clearing his throat to resume. “My parents had their own quarters here at the school. During the school year we all lived here together. Anne and I would be absolute menaces, running about the halls. But the professors here were all kind and would take time to play with us or teach us. I daresay it gave us a good head start once we came here as proper 1st years. My parents would let us sit in their classes as well. Its never felt the same now being in those same classes and having someone else in the front.” Sebastian again paused, blinking furiously.

“I still miss them,” his voice cracked. “Everything changed so much the moment they died. We were only eight. It wasn’t enough time with them.”

“Oh, Sebastian,” I said softly, hurting for my friend. It had been a long time since I had seen him show any vulnerability like this. I wished this conversation wasn’t happening through a mirror so that I could provide some sort of physical comfort.

“I’m being ridiculous,” he mumbled, pressing his palms against his eyes. “I’m a grown man. Its been 10 years.”

“Grief doesn’t follow a timeline,” I recited gently, knowing that better than anyone.

“No, it doesn’t,” Sebastian agreed, his face still in his hands.

“Can I – “ I hesitated. “Can I ask about Anne?”

His choked laugh was self-deprecating. “I haven’t heard from her since everything happened. She left me a letter. Told me that she loves me but would never forgive me. And then she was gone. I don’t even know if she’s alive.” At this point, I could barely understand some of his words. His voice was so strained.

I did not care about propriety anymore. My reputation could go up in flames for all I cared. “Tell me where you are, Sebastian.”

Confused, he peered up, eyes bloodshot. “I’m in one of the dungeon rooms near the Slytherin common room. Why?”

I stood up and practically ran to that side of the castle. I hadn’t ended the connection and could hear Sebastian questioning me. I didn’t bother to pause to answer.

It took a few tries of going into vacant rooms but I found him. Sebastian was staring at me though he had never quite seen me before this moment.

“Eleanor?” he questioned in disbelief. “You know you can’t be in this side of the castle!”

“I don’t care,” I breathed harshly, trying to catch my breath. “I wanted to be here for you. Physically, I mean. Not just through a mirror.”

He blinked at me in silence. Then he stood and enveloped me in his arms. I threw my arms around him, tightening our hold.

“I know Anne is important to you. I know it must hurt you,” I whisper. “I can’t replace her presence in your life, nor do I want to be her replacement. But I will be here to support you through the pain.”

Sebastian only sniffled as a response before he broke away from our hold. “Kind of goes against me asking you for favors, doesn’t it?”

I shook my head adamantly. “This is what friends do. We help each other through our dark times, and to act as a guiding light.”

I took my hand and placed it against his cheek. Sebastian leaned into it, staring into my eyes intently. “Just as you vowed to be my supporter, I vow to be the same for you.”

Sebastian’s lips parted, eyes darting between mine. He grabbed a hold of my hand and kissed my palm.

“Thank you,” he said against it. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you back. But I am thankful for it.”

“Well, well. Isn’t this interesting?” a voice said behind us. We both froze.

Chapter 13: I fell so far 'til I found you

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian knew that bad-tempered voice the moment he heard it. After all, he had been forced to hear it in class for seven long years.

He turned to the door and saw Professor Sharp watching them, very unimpressed. Sharp closed the door behind him and warded it. Likely to prevent anyone else from entering.

He took a deep breath and turned back to glare at Sebastian and Eleanor.

“What do the two of you have to say for yourselves?” he asked gruffly.

Sebastian didn’t care that Elle had been the one to choose to go against etiquette. He needed to protect her.

“It was my fault, Professor,” Sebastian stepped forward. “I told Ms. Porter I needed her to meet me here. I should have known better than to ask her to meet me alone. I’m sorry. I’ll take whatever punishment you deem fit.”

He saw Elle’s surprise in the corner of his eye and mentally begged her to stay quiet.

Sharp pressed his finger tips to the bridge of his nose. “Mr. Sallow, you know that school punishments are no longer applicable. You two are now adults. And, as such, you are expected to face much deeper consequences than writing lines in detention.”

Sebastian felt Eleanor tensing next to him. He remembered with sudden and burning clarity Professor Weasley’s warning about reputation and Eleanor’s rebuke that women would be the ones to face the worst of it. He looked at her in a panic. He couldn’t bear to once again bring ruin upon her. He was in such a state, that he barely realized that Sharp started talking again.

“Luckily for you two, it was me that found you and not professor or student,” Sharp said. “I will not share with anyone that I found you two together unchaperoned. But I implore you to please not allow yourselves to end up in this situation again – “

“Wait a minute,” Sebastian interrupted. “Why are we getting off, but you told Constance and I that we better marry?”

“If you recall, Mr. Sallow,” Sharp drawled, “I found the two of you in a far less innocent position than you and Ms. Porter.” His mouth twisted in distaste.

Sebastian shut his mouth, face suddenly feeling very hot.

“Not to mention, you are already engaged Mr. Sallow. I can hardly tell you and Ms. Porter to marry now, can I?” Sharp continued.

He thought that he might actually die of mortification. Elle would surely regret even bothering with him again.

“I beseech you to please consider Ms. Dagworth before you two plan on any more mischief. It is not only you two who will face scorn from society if caught again.”

Eleanor had her head bowed down. Sebastian couldn’t see her face, but he suspected she was feeling as ashamed as he was. He was so caught up in Eleanor that he completely forgot about Constance. Forgot that he was betrothed to someone who definitely was not Elle. Selfish, he scorned himself internally.

“Understood, Professor,” Sebastian grimaced.

To his great surprise, as Sharp passed them, he gripped Elle’s shoulder as if to give her support. He paused at the door. “Come, Ms. Porter. I will escort you out.”

Eleanor shot Sebastian an unreadable look before following Sharp out of the room.

Sebastian took a moment to gather himself. Too much happened far too quickly and he could barely wrap his head around it all.

Running his hands through his hair anxiously, he gave Sharp and Elle a minute to make headway before leaving himself. He didn’t want anyone else to even suspect that they were in that room together.

After a couple of minutes of standing around restlessly, he made his way back to the Slytherin common room. His mind was bombarded with thoughts about what just happened.

Pushing aside the mortifying moment of Professor Sharp finding them (and then revealing information to Eleanor that he would have strongly preferred to stay private), he chose instead to dwell on the memory of Eleanor bursting into the room.

To say he was stunned to see her at the entrance was a massive understatement. After all, she was the one who insisted time and time again that they needed to be conscious of propriety. But true to the Eleanor he knew back in 5^th year, she threw the rules out the window when she decided something was important enough. He just didn’t expect her to care that much about him.

He was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. For her to finally realize he wasn’t worth her time and energy. He tried to stay in the moment, tried to enjoy their time together for what it was, but sometimes that fear creeped in. The voices that told him that he would always be alone. That any redeeming qualities he once had, died the day he murdered Solomon. That Eleanor would soon realize her mistake in giving him a chance. His own twin sister could not bear to even send him a message.

He shook his head to clear out the dark thoughts. Eleanor was here again. She had forgiven him and given him another chance. And if Eleanor had somehow managed to forgive him, perhaps it would be okay to start letting him forgive himself?

Her coming to him to comfort him meant everything. He was no longer alone. He mattered to someone again.

Though something happened tonight that he never imagined even in his wildest dreams. Tonight, when Eleanor appeared in the room, his mind for once went completely silent of all its thoughts of fears, guilt, anger, pain. Instead, there was only her. Her eyes blazing with passion that was directed at him. The two of them holding each other had healed something in him. Cracks that felt impossibly deep somehow were coming back together. Once her hand was on his cheek, he knew.

He had fallen for her.

How could he not? She was everything he had declared to her in the Undercroft just last night. And was it really only last night? So much had happened in one day that he could scarcely believe it.

Maybe it was always inevitable that he would lose his heart to her. He was not lying when he told her he didn’t have a crush on her in 5^th year. Really, courting was the furthest possible thing on his mind at the time. There was too much to do, too much to worry about.

But seeing her at the ball, holding her in his arms as they danced through multiple songs… he realized there was a beauty in her that he had never noticed before. He had not dared to give it more thought at the time, but every interaction that had since built upon those stirrings of feelings. And now here he was, infatuated with the girl he was not engaged to.

His mental spiral came to a screeching halt as he caught a glance at Andrew Larson. He was pretty hard to miss considering the guy was glaring at his with excessive hatred. He rolled his eyes and continued past him. Honestly. Larson was the cause of his own issues and yet he put the blame on Sebastian instead. Sebastian had enough of his own problems without letting Larson get to him.

Once up the stairs and in his room, he stretched out and stared at the ceiling. His roommates would be back soon but they would undoubtedly leave him alone. He couldn’t claim them as friends much less confidantes. Though he desperately wished he had someone he could talk to about the turmoil in his mind. Constance had become the closest thing he had to a friend in years but even that was shaky. And despite there being no love between them, he highly doubted she wanted to hear about her fiancée fantasizing about another woman.

He sat up and reached for his bedside table. Journaling it was. He had started taking it up in 4^th year when he needed to rant about Solomon and whisper his fears about Anne. In 6^th and 7^th year, it became the only time he felt he had a voice. No one was around to listen to him or care, and his journal was his one safe space.

He was several pages in when he heard his name called. Looking around startled, he didn’t see anyone in the room. Then he realized it was a woman’s voice. He could have smacked himself in the head for how slow he was to realize.

He grabbed the mirror that he had placed in his bedside drawer and the image of Eleanor wearing a sheepish smile appeared.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted you. I just wanted to thank you for taking the fall for me….again. And apologize for you getting into trouble. I shouldn’t have been so careless.”

Sebastian cracked his own smile in return. “Well, if you want to make it up to me, you can promise me a dance tomorrow night.” He waggled his brows playfully.

 “Oh if I must,” she said woefully, but Sebastian could see her eyes glittering in amusement.

“See you on the dance floor,” he winked.

She rolled her eyes good-humoredly. “Goodnight, Seb.”

“Goodnight, Elle.”

Her image disappeared from the mirror in his hands.

And for the first time in years, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Notes:

Major thanks to Kat_Montesino for betareading this chapter! Sebastian was very very talkative and she really helped make it more cohesive!
And thank YOU for your patience in waiting for this chapter <3

Chapter 14: "Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince"

The next morning found all the girl chattering about the ball that would be happening that night.

“-and so I promised Garreth that I wouldn’t dance with anyone else tonight. He is quite possessive it seems. But that is alright with me. I am not interested in anyone else,” Natty mused.

“It’s rather romantic I think,” Poppy sighed sweetly. “Ominis hasn’t asked any such thing from me. But I think he’s too polite to do that. I haven’t noticed him give any other girls any attention?”

“Ominis is totally smitten over you,” Natty assured her. “You two are a beautiful match.”

“Thank you, Natty,” Poppy blushed.

Imelda didn’t add anything regarding herself. Eleanor could only assume she had decided it was not worth courting anyone there.

After they readied themselves for the day., the four girls went to walk by the lake. Some of the boys were out there as well and Eleanor could see a few professors out there watching everyone keenly.

The four passed by Constance and Sebastian. Eleanor almost tripped over a rock in her haste to wave at the two. Constance was looking a bit under the weather but she mustered a weak smile while Sebastian grinned at Eleanor’s clumsy near-fall.

“Where did your grace go, Ellie?” he called out to her.

Eleanor stuck out her tongue at him as she tried to stride away from him with some measure of dignity.

Imelda snorted but refrained from teasing.

“Oh look there’s Ominis!” Poppy exclaimed pointing over to a bench.

Ominis perked up at hearing his name called. “Is that Ms. Sweeting I hear?”

Poppy bounced right over to him, the rest of the girls following in her wake.

“Hello Ominis,” Poppy greeted him.

“Ms. Sweeting,” Ominis responded, always the formal one. “Might I have the honor tonight of a dance or two?”

“You can have all of them,” she blurted out before covering her face in her hands.

Ominis looked taken aback for a moment before looking too pleased. “Then we shall dance the night away tonight. I look forward to our many dances.”

Poppy nodded before remembering that she needed to vocally agree. “See you tonight, Ominis.”

Natty, Imelda, and Eleanor burst out into laughter as the four girls walked away from Ominis.

“Looks like our Poppy is down bad,” Natty teased.

Poppy just blushed harder in response.

Despite Poppy’s embarrassment, she was all the more motivated to go upstairs even earlier than last time to get ready. Soon enough that’s where Eleanor found herself – in their room getting ready for a ball hours and hours away.

About an hour before the ball was meant to start, Eleanor heard her name being called by a very male voice. Confused, Natty, Imelda, and Poppy paused their preparations to look around the room.

“It’s Sebastian,” she informed them, grabbing the mirror and leaving the room to talk to him in private.

“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately, dread in her gut seeing Sebastian’s pained expression.

“Its nothing… I just needed to tell you that I won’t be at the dance tonight. I’m sorry, Elle.”

“It’s not nothing, Sebastian. You can tell me, you know?” Eleanor pressed, hating seeing him hurting.

He sighed. No doubt familiar with her stubbornness. “I don’t want to talk about it like this. I’m in the Astronomy Tower. Go enjoy the ball first. Have fun for me, yeah?”

Eleanor was about to argue the point, but he ended the connection, not allowing her the chance.

She picked at her nails in anxious thought. The ball wasn’t worth going to. She would rather spend the evening with a sad Sebastian, than be in a party any day.

Stepping back into the room, she announced, “I will be skipping the ball tonight. I have something I need to do instead.”

“Do you want us to go with you?” Poppy asked, worried about the seriousness on her face.

Eleanor shook her head. “I need to do this on my own. Please, all of you go and have fun. Let me know how it is later, alright?”

They all watched her in concern, but let her leave without any further comments.

Eleanor rushed to the Astronomy Tower. With the pain she saw on Sebastian, she didn’t want him to be alone for a second longer.

In record time, she arrived. Sebastian was leaning against one of the columns near the edge of the Tower. He tore his eyes away from the distant views, meeting her worried gaze.

“I knew you wouldn’t listen,” he laughed softly.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Eleanor demanded, needing to know how she can help him.

Sebastian sighed and looked up at the sky. “Constance is pregnant.” His voice was heavy.

Eleanor froze at hearing Sebastian’s confession.

Pregnant?

Her veins filled with ice and without realizing it, she started shaking her head as though to deny it.

“It’s not possible,” she insisted. “…Is it?” She whispered the last part, afraid that he would in fact confirm it.

Sebastian smiled, but it wasn’t an amused or even joyful smile. It was the aching smile of someone whose world was rocked and they didn’t know how to find their footing.

“It’s not mine, if that’s what you’re wondering. But it doesn’t matter. I’m the one engaged to her and so the baby will be my responsibility.”

The smallest bit of relief eased the chill. But Sebastian was right. It didn’t matter who the biological father was. In the eyes of society, he would be the father.

Sebastian threw his head back against the column. Shutting his eyes, he let out a sigh of pure exhaustion.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted quietly.

Eleanor finally joined him on the ground, sitting by his side. She hugged her legs to herself as she buried her face into her knees. She tried to think of some comforting words but nothing was coming to her.

“Do you know who the father is?” she finally asked.

Sebastian nodded. “Yes. Constance was very certain on it.”

She was tempted to ask who it was, but at the same time she was already in far too deep into their business. It would not be polite to ask for more information.

The two sat there in silence for ages. Eleanor watched the clouds move steadily across the star filled sky with a waning moon.

Sebastian finally broke the silence. “I wish I had done things differently.”

Eleanor looked over at him, her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“In 6^th year, once I understood that I was truly alone, I struggled. I didn’t want to try to find new friends. But the loneliness was getting to me. I’d always been good at charming people and I thought what was the harm in flirting with some pretty girls? At least they would be fun to chat with. But look where that led….” His voice trailed off.

Eleanor cocked her head. “I thought you loved the attention from all of them. You certainly seemed like you were happy when you had all those girls around you.”

His face contorted into horrified disbelief. “You thought I was happy? I was drowning! Each day was a deep sea of loneliness and grief. It was unbearable. The moments I spent with those girls were the only times I felt just a glimpse of companionship… It was a source of comfort when I had none.”

Sebastian was unravelling and Eleanor could not do anything but witness it. Shock had taken away her ability to speak.

“And now, yet again, my poor decisions have altered my future in irreparable ways.” Sebastian quieted down before whispering the last part. “I just wanted….Never mind…” He looked away shamefully.

Eleanor felt like she was truly seeing Sebastian for the first time. Here was someone who was driven by love for his sister to find her a cure. Someone who lost his parents at a young age. After moving in with his uncle, his sister was his only source of love. And once she was gone…it would have just been Ominis and Eleanor. But they left him behind too. And then he had no one left to care for him or for him to care for in return.

“You just wanted to be loved,” Eleanor finished softly.

Sebastian scoffed in self-derision, still not able to face her.

For the first time, she wondered if she had been too harsh in ending things with him. Perhaps she could have taken the kinder route, and stayed by his side as he worked to redeem himself. At that time though, she couldn’t have imagined him even trying to change his ways.

“Sebastian, you’ve mentioned a few times now about how you’ve tried to better yourself over the past 2 years. I would like to hear about that if you don’t mind talking about it? I see the changes in you. How did you do it?”

She saw Sebastian’s hands grip his pants tightly for a moment, as though trying to find the strength to answer her questions.

“For awhile there, I didn’t do anything. I just stewed in my own misery. I was angry…at you, Ominis, Anne, and even Solomon. None of you understood. But I couldn’t hold on to those beliefs long. The more I played out everything in my mind, I understood why you all gave up on me in the end. I was out of control. And once I was finally being honest with myself, I realized that I was using Anne as an excuse for learning about the dark arts.”

Eleanor could see how angry he was at himself even now.

“I knew I needed to be better. I had used and manipulated with no hesitation. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be the source of pain. I thought, well then, I should try to give back to those around me and make their lives a bit better. I volunteered to help with the farming in Feldcroft and run errands for the elders. Some opportunities came up to tutor some kids in 1^st year, and I took that on.” He grimaced. “It’s not a lot, I know.”

Eleanor took his hand and held it between both of hers. “It’s everything. I’m proud of you Sebastian.”

Sebastian blinked furiously, his eyes glassy at the unexpected praise.

“Yeah, well….” He rubbed his hands over his pants vigorously, “It’s the least I can do.”

“I’m sorry you were alone through that. I shouldn’t have been so rash. I was just so angry and, honestly, hurt.”

Sebastian squeezed their hands with his other hand. “I know. I don’t blame you for it. And who knows, perhaps if you hadn’t left me, I would have kept spiraling.”

Eleanor nodded half-heartedly, wounded by all the revelations tonight.

The stillness laid heavy between them. It was not uncomfortable, but the pain of all that happened made it hard to find any words to say.

“It’s getting late. We should probably leave before we’re caught out here again,” Sebastian finally said as he stood and stretched out his body. Eleanor hadn’t even realized they were still holding hands until he pulled his hands away.

“I have somewhere we can go actually. It’s private and very few people know about it,” she offered hesitantly. She had never planned to bring Sebastian to the Room of Requirement, but now she almost couldn’t bear the idea of walking away from him. Especially not right now when they were truly understanding one another after all this time.

Sebastian perked up slightly. “Another secret room?”

“Hmm…. somewhat. Professor Weasley showed me the room back in 5^th year so that I could have a space to practice and catch up with you all.” With that, she led Sebastian down the stairs where they paused in front of the dancing troll tapestry.

Sebastian turned to stare at her, unimpressed.

Eleanor began walking back and forth three times until the door appeared. She heard Sebastian let out a little gasp as she opened the door and he took in the main entranceway of the room.

By the time they fully entered, he was openly gawking. “You’ve been hiding this all this time?”

Eleanor shrugged. “Yes. It was incredibly useful too. I’ve brewed potions, grew plants, and even took care of magical creatures.”

At the mention of creatures, Sebastian tore his eyes away from the endless bookshelves and domed ceiling, to look at her in alarm. “You keep creatures here?”

“I did. They’ve all been able to return to their home though now that poaching is much less of a problem.”

“Tonight is just full of surprises,” he laughed in disbelief.

After giving Sebastian a small tour around the rooms, they ended up on a couch in front of the fireplace.

“I’d like to end tonight on a more positive note,” Sebastian whispered as he leaned into her shoulder. “Never have I ever… Had a dream with sound.”

Eleanor glanced up at him in interest as she considered her own dreams. “I have dreams on occasion with music or singing. But never talking.”

“Music huh?” he looked at her speculatively.

She noticed the questioning look in his eyes. “What is it?”

“We never had our dance tonight.” He stood back up and extended his hand. “May I have this dance, my dear Eleanor?”

Eleanor smiled softly and took his hand. The two started swaying. There was no music playing but they didn’t need it.

She watched the shadows of the fire’s flames move across Sebastian’s handsome face. His eyes were intently watching her own. She could see so many unnamed emotions swirling in them.

The hand that was on her waist ghosted across her lower back. She laid her head against his chest as he pulled her closer.

His heartbeat and soft breathing lulled her into a deep calm. She felt her eyelids begin to get heavy when Sebastian pulled her gently away.

“Time for sleep.”

Eleanor began to protest when she let out a yawn. “Fine. You’re right.”

Sebastian snickered. “We need to get back to our common rooms anyways before we are reported missing.”

The two cast the Disillusionment before sneaking through the hallways. At the point they had to depart, Sebastian grabbed and held her hand.

“Goodnight, darling Ellie,” he whispered to her, before walking away from her.

Eleanor stood there, blushing, touching her heart with her fingertips. What was this feeling she was experiencing? The echoes of footsteps jolted her back to awareness. She needed to move quick lest she be caught.

Finally in her dorm, she moved quietly to her bed. The room was full of snores and soft sounds of her friends sleeping. No doubt they would be full of questions for her tomorrow. But for now, the memory of their moment was just for her and Sebastian.