Work Text:
——
Congratulations, Neil & Andrew! Enjoy your new home.
-TIlda Endsley
Home. The word burned brightly through the paper. This was his home now. Beside the note, the little silver keychain with two sets of keys sat on the light marble counter. Neil fingered the grooves lightly. Next to that was a bottle of Mumm that Andrew picked up to study closely.
“That’s nice of her,” Neil remarked as his voice echoed in the empty space.
“Mmhmm.”
“We will need to get all the furniture. I should measure the spaces,” Neil surmised.
They had just done the final walkthrough of their new place yesterday and today was the official handover. After months of paperwork and legal hurdles, it was done. It had been a bit of a stretch, but between selling the Columbia house and some of the savings bonds from Neil’s no longer needed binder, they had managed this two bedroom craftsman bungalow. In a quiet and leafy neighborhood, it was just a 15 minute walk to Perimeter Road. Wymack had recommended they reach out to Tilda and in a whirlwind for the last quarter of school, the keys were theirs.
It was never originally the intention to buy a place but after the expansion of the Foxes team and a general influx in interest in Palmetto athletics, Fox Tower was in high demand. Then, moving in simply became logical. Sharing a room had always been a pain since the two of them had gotten together and there was barely any privacy. By that point, they were both ready for it. They had needed the extra space.
Plus, actions spoke louder than words. The idea to move in was actually Andrew’s idea. After a few compromising situations when various friends had walked in on them, Andrew’s mood got darker and darker whenever they were in the dorms. They spent most of their time on the roof when the weather got better and, finally, when dorm request assignments were due, Andrew had broached the subject. It was stilted and abrupt but Neil knew what he had meant and it made him so happy. Scared but happy.
Since the events that transpired with Riko, it had been a healing journey for them both. Neil coming to terms with actually settling somewhere and Andrew opening up to people who cared about him. It was a slow, arduous process, but it was happening. Slow like a molasses crawl, but Neil was in no rush. He was enjoying the ride.
Though, the frightening thought wasn’t actually about moving in with his boyfriend but about the staying. The general weight of remaining at Palmetto had eased since the end of the school year and Neil’s father’s demise, but it was a weight nonetheless. This was the longest he had stayed in one place with no plans to move on. That concept of relaxing his body that had been so attuned to flight was still a foreign concept to Neil.
Even with the additional stuff the girls had made him buy over that year, he had only moved with his one usual battered duffel bag and the addition of one singular box. That was it. Allison usually packed more than that for an away game. Still, it was happening and with a hug from the girls and a last sweep of the empty side of his room, he was gone.
——
The first week of living with Andrew was surprisingly fun: candlelit dinners on the living room floor and using a box of books as a table. In the primitive way with no internet or other distractions, all they had was time and each other. It was a perfect way to start a summer with no practice or responsibilities. That Saturday, a giant basket of cookies with an IKEA gift certificate arrived with a card in a tight slanting script.
Congratulations, Neil and Andrew. The new house looks great. Here’s a little something to get you started. Enjoy this new adventure together.
Uncle Stu
Running his hands through his lengthening summer hair, Neil let out a surprised chuckle. He had casually mentioned to his uncle that they were moving but had not indicated the address or when they were moving in. He hadn’t seen his uncle since the end of the year and they had only spoken very sparingly with a few cryptic text messages and one very short call. Still, it was nice to know that there was someone out there who cared about him. And Neil couldn’t help but be amused. He knew his uncle lived a cloak and dagger life but he found it funny imagining that Stuart had sent someone to do surveillance on the place so he could see the house.
And the IKEA gift came with impeccable timing. However much their glamping bare bones living had been fun, Neil had started to get fidgety. A few IKEA catalogs had come through the mailbox as their first pieces of mail and turning each of the glossy pages, he had a mind filled with design ideas. It wasn’t typically his thing but there was an excitement that he had never felt before. This was something that was his. No, it was theirs. A permanent place.
Before they had left, he had also thrown away his beloved binder. All the bonds had been cashed out to go toward the deposit and the other bits slowly transferred. His key contacts were now in the cell phone that he permanently owned and used regularly. The colored contacts and boxes of hair dye had long been discarded at the Foxhole Court. All that remained was a couple photos of Neil as a kid and that was it. Emptying each of the plastic sleeves and throwing out the remaining tattered articles about Riko and his dad were cathartic. The end of an era. But in a good way. A new era— with Andrew. And the possibilities of their new life together were endless.
On a very early Thursday, the sun streamed into Neil's eyes, waking him prematurely. They still didn't have curtains and as the height of summer crowned, it was becoming a problem. Neither did they have a bed frame and Neil could certainly feel the ground through the thin temporary mattress on the floor. His back screamed with soreness and he woke up particularly irritable.
This was it. It was the day they would get themselves together. They didn’t have practice and a quick trip to IKEA would get them sorted out – at least with the essentials. He rubbed his eyes and gently slid a hand over to the still sleeping Andrew. He was a marvel, completely able to sleep anywhere and in any which way. His fingers brushed lightly against the relaxed jaw bone and felt Andrew stir. For someone who could sleep anywhere, he also woke up at the lightest touch.
“Hmm..it’s too early,” a garbled mumble came through the pillow.
“I know,” Neil breathed, placing his lips close to Andrew’s ear. “We don’t have practice so I have a great idea for how to spend the day.” He pressed his teasing mouth to his earlobe.
“Go on…” Andrew continued, sounding suddenly more alert as he arched his back to stretch himself out. His eyes were still closed but Neil flashed him a wicked grin he couldn’t yet see.
“First, we are going to get dressed, and then…” Neil elongated each word, drawing out the sentence with punctuated anticipation. “...we’re going to IKEA for furniture shopping.”
Andrew groaned loudly and batted Neil away, turning so his back faced Neil. He grabbed his pillow and clamped it securely over his head.
“Come on, Andrew. I swear to God I can’t live like this anymore. It’s been over a week.” Neil’s hand prodded at the unbreachable white pillow.
“Later.”
“Now.”
“No.”
“Go away,” Andrew added.
That was the end of the discussion. Neil knew when Andrew’s words had that air of finality. His version of a mic drop. He turned over and continued to sleep, the blond head now beneath an impenetrable wall that Neil would not be able to get through to. He sighed and let it go. For now, anyway. He slipped out of bed stretching his aching back as he headed to the bathroom.
Waiting for the coffee to brew, Neil could barely look at the empty living room. The old Chinese takeout boxes were still on the little crate as the after meal wine the previous night had led them straight to bed. He sighed and turned back to the dripping pot, watching the dark liquid siphon down into the glass container.
Taking a steaming cup, he went and stood against the door jam of the open plan kitchen and looked out into the empty room. An inexplicable feeling had been creeping up on him but suddenly it had hit him like an Exy ball to the chest. Seeing the vast emptiness in the quietness of the morning, it had suddenly become glaring.
It was one thing when he was on the run and they had lived on the go. Neil couldn’t really explain it to Andrew yet but this was Neil’s chance to finally have something that was his. And on this seemingly random morning, suddenly he was itching for it, desperate. He hadn’t realized just how important this was to him until Tilda had handed them the keys. And now, all he wanted was a home.
“Coffee,” grumbled Andrew as he finally emerged from the room. Wordlessly, he took the steaming mug that Neil handed him and trudged out to the back patio with a cigarette.
——
Neil spent the next few weeks trying to keep it reined in but asked Andrew at every opportune instance about shopping and setting up. After a while, Andrew had become a bit cagey and incensed at the questions culminating in a cloud hanging over them. To maintain peace, an unspoken rule was created that they were now avoiding everything related to the house.
“So when are you inviting us over?” Renee asked. The girls had coincidentally happened to be at the grocery store after their workout at the same time as him and they accompanied Neil as he shopped.
“When we get some damn furniture.” Neil didn’t even bother to hide his exasperation as he heaved a long pack of paper cups into his cart.
“Wait, you STILL don’t have furniture??” Allison piped up incredulously, almost dropping her Gatorade. “How long has it been?”
“Too long,” Neil replied, this time unable to keep the long sigh from escaping his mouth.
Renee eyed the other girls and Neil couldn’t help but notice their subtle glances to each other. Yet, he let the oldest team member, alone, steer him down the laundry detergent aisle. Amongst the clean and calming but artificial smelling lavender and linen scent, Renee turned his attention toward her.
She flipped her hair behind her ears, the rainbow dip dye peeking out underneath. “What’s going on, Neil? Is everything ok between you two?”
“I think so?” Neil ran his fingers through his hair, sighing loudly. “Fuck, I hope so. It’s just, Andrew won’t budge on getting the house stuff together. I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to push him but it’s also a drag living like this, you know?” Neil nudged the pack of disposable silverware in his cart.
Renee nodded with compassionate understanding. “You gotta talk to him. I think I know what this is about. You know he hasn’t really owned anything before, right? Except the Maserati and you know how crazy he is with that.”
“But he had the Columbia house. And this is something he owns now. We own it, so I don’t know what the issue is.”
“Neil, are you new?” Renee asked sharply with an eerily maternal snap. With raised eyebrows, she challenged, “When has Andrew been forthcoming or obvious about anything he is feeling? When has he even been remotely logical in his thoughts or actions?”
Neil simply nodded, taking the words in and letting them fully sink in. It would never be easy with Andrew. He knew Renee was right and her words held truth in them. But at the same time, there was this nagging feeling in him that hung like a dark cloud. Like he thought he knew that Andrew wanted this, but maybe he actually didn’t? With school going smoothly and no Riko, Neil didn’t have to be as nagging to Andrew as he had previously been. Had he channeled it toward the house instead? Andrew was improving at communicating but perhaps Neil had expected too much too soon. Perhaps he had pushed Andrew too hard. A flood of negative thoughts overcame him, like rolling storm clouds darkening a previously sunny sky.
“You’re right, I’ll talk to him.” Neil was firm and resolute in his spoken reply, practically nodding unconsciously to convince himself. Internally, he quavered, unsure of how that real conversation would go.
They were having a date night that evening and had planned to watch one of the many classic films that Neil had never experienced as a kid. They weren’t in a fight per se but things had been oddly formal in their dance around the furniture issue. The date was a usual weekly occurrence of theirs which they would still have, but there would be a discussion first. He would make sure of it.
When he got home from the store, Andrew was sitting in the backyard. It was a very cute space with a little patio deck extending from the house and then a small grass area beyond. Two beer crates serving as temporary chairs sandwiched a little old tuna can where it was jammed full of browning cigarette butts. Neil had pictured the space with nice garden chairs and a little table but that was part of the forbidden furniture conversation.
He put away the groceries, filling the gaps between the sad array of half-empty takeout boxes and grabbed two of the beers and went out to the patio. It was a balmy day. A perfect summery late afternoon and a still bright sun streaming directly through their backyard.
Wordlessly, Neil handed Andrew a beer, who in turn took it and threw the pack of cigarettes toward him. Neil put it down between them and plopped on the empty orange crate. It wasn’t comfortable and he could feel the slats digging into his legs.
“I got the gummy worms you wanted,” Neil said, first, not knowing where to start. The air suddenly felt thick, like the unspoken words were hanging over them.
“Mmhmm, thanks.” A garbled reply from Andrew as he swigged the cold beer. If Neil could feel the tension in the air, there was no indication that Andrew felt the same way. He looked oddly fine as he smoked serenely and sipped his drink while Neil’s gut twisted in his body, making him break out in sweat.
Neil let out a breath, pushing down the building nausea. He had to do it. “Andrew, I need to talk to you. But I want you to hear me out before you say anything.”
As usual, Neil didn’t have to tell Andrew to not speak. He simply exhaled a series of smoke rings into the air and stubbed out the butt into the makeshift tray. Neil knew by now it was as much of an open invitation as he would get.
“So, we have been here almost a month now. It’s been really fun but we still don’t have furniture or really anything.” I can’t live like this anymore. It was what he really wanted to say. But instead, Neil remained as neutral as he could. “I just want to get settled. You know I have never had my own place. And I want that. With you. But it feels like you don’t want to? I just want to understand.”
Immediately, Andrew lit another cigarette as he always did when Neil tried to approach him about something serious. Neil waited patiently as he exhaled softly.
“I’m fine. Do what you want. Get what you want. I was never stopping you.” Andrew shrugged. Neil was trying as best as he could but Andrew’s pithy replies infuriated him sometimes. He wanted to know what Andrew was feeling and he didn’t have the energy to drag it out of him.
“No, that’s just it.” Neil pointed out. “I don’t want to just do it. I want us to do it. Together. You live here too and this is part of the process.”
Andrew kept smoking and was silent. In the quiet, Neil started to simmer as lightly as the end of the lit cigarette.
“Look, Andrew. When we signed up for this, I thought it was so we could build a life together. Riko and my dad are dead and we have our whole future ahead of us. I thought you wanted this too.”
Neil let out a long breath, closing his eyes to temper himself, to give him strength. He tapped out a cigarette and lit it. The nicotine hit his brain and he felt that artificial calm as it washed over him. In this moment, however, it wasn’t enough to mask his feelings. He had tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice. Had tried to keep himself level. But he could feel his body itching for this argument. Maybe he wouldn’t get anything out of Andrew but he was tired of it. He was tired of sitting on the floor. He was tired of the rough taste of the wooden forks.
“Why are we even doing this if you don’t care?”
There. He threw the first barbed words out. Stoking the flame of the fight. He could practically see Andrew bristling immediately. Like with Exy, defense was always his immediate involuntary response.
“I never said I didn’t care. But why are you so annoying about it? Have you turned into Wymack? Like-I-said,-do-what-you-want.”
The last words came out like he was talking to a child. Slow and with each work punctuated, Neil couldn’t take it. He flew off the handle. He ranted and raved, mostly incoherent and mostly nothing to do with Andrew, but it felt great to get it out. The stress of the last few weeks erupting from him. And then through the complete lunatic level stream of consciousness, out emerged the truth. The real truth.
He stood as he said it. Neil scarcely realized that he had lifted himself off that uncomfortable crate and was pacing back and forth in front of Andrew. The words just spilled out, uncontrollably like water from a broken dam.
“Do you even really want to be with me? We need to get this house set up so this is real!” Neil waved his hand around above his head to signal what he meant. “If we don’t do this, none of this is real. Don’t you understand!?”
The bomb was dropped. And like the aftermath of an explosion, the air stilled as his confession hung thickly above them. Neil collapsed on the edge of the patio, his legs buckling beneath him into the tallish unkempt grass. He was spent but it was out in the open. His real fear was finally exposed. That Andrew was stalling because this wasn’t something he really wanted. And it freaked Neil out to say it. It had freaked him out to even acknowledge it to himself. But underneath the stress and annoyance of sitting on the floor and eating from paper plates, this was really what was bothering him. And from Andrew’s complete lack of reaction, who knew what he was thinking. Perhaps Neil’s fear was legitimate. That Andrew was having cold feet and that Neil would lose everything. Again.
“I want it.”
Neil turned and looked over at Andrew, completely startled by the unexpected interruption. For a second, because he had gone on so long and was still raging within the depths of his brain, he didn’t even really know what Andrew was referring to.
“I do want it.” Andrew repeated again to Neil’s blank expression. “I just…I’ve never done it before. I don’t know what to do.” The words came out stunted and disjointed.
He didn’t look at Neil but he continued staring straight out at some invisible speck in the distance.
Neil scooted across the patio, not caring as his pants snagged on little splinters and grabbed Andrew’s free hand with his left and with his right, he smoothed it over his palm so the flats of their hands were aligned. Andrew’s quiet words had soothed Neil’s pounding heart. Though concise, they held tremendous weight. Despite his outburst, this soft admission had immediately doused the fire in Neil and had overwhelmed him with a sudden but impactful calm. The anger was completely gone and Neil was himself again.
“Andrew, sweetheart. You recall I literally have a binder in our room that used to contain my entire life?”
The dimple surfaced at the corner of Andrew’s mouth as a hint of a grin emerged. His entire body relaxed. He must have sensed that Neil had calmed down and had come back from his rage. And similarly, as soon as Neil saw that familiar smile, it was like a ray of sunshine breaking through clouds with the storm long forgotten.
“This is new for both of us. It’s scary, I know. But this is what you want, right?” Neil added the last part quietly, gently still stroking his palm across Andrew’s. Even with Andrew’s reassurance, he had to hear it again. To know that this was all real.
The smile faded, but the glance that was replaced was earnest, shining. Andrew’s eyes melted into warm honey and Neil’s own heart crumbled at the sight.
“Yes,” Andrew said, finally. “I want you, dummy.”
Neil grinned, hardly hearing the words as he ran into the house and brought out the dog-eared catalog that he had pored over with almost every other page folded down on every piece of furniture he had wanted to remember.
Andrew seemed overwhelmed but allowed Neil to walk him through it. He waited patiently until the end before finally speaking. Neil looked over, as eager as a puppy waiting for validation.
“Don’t get mad but I’m still kind of fine with you doing it. I really just don’t have a preference. Oh, except I do want to pick the sofa. And I don’t want this IKEA shit. I want something nice.”
Neil sat back in surprise. It was not at all a shock that Andrew didn’t want anything to do with it but it was that he did, in fact, have an opinion.
“Of course! Pick whatever you want.”
——
Neil awoke on their excursion day with that giddy feeling of anticipation that he had rarely experienced. Matt had lent them his truck and when they arrived at their destination, they parked it alongside the sea of minivans and other cars as they pulled into the familiar bright cobalt blue facade. The pair of them got swept along by the excited families into the large entrance.
“So, where do we start?” Neil asked, not particularly to Andrew but more toward the sheer vastness of the place. He had heard about IKEA, of course, but had never had cause to visit one. It was one giant warehouse of every conceivable room configuration under the sun. And it was as overwhelming as it seemed.
“Well, we just walk through and follow the path and get ideas. At the end is where we pick up everything.”
“You’ve been?!” Neil asked, sounding more incredulous than he had wanted to.
“Ya,” Andrew shrugged. “I went with one of my foster moms once. We needed desks for the new kids coming in.”
Neil didn’t reply with words but he slipped his hand into Andrew’s, entwining their fingers. Andrew’s past was still a very delicate subject and he never pressed it. At this point, Andrew knew Neil would always listen but equally, Neil just wanted him to know that he was there regardless. Period. No explanations needed.
They wove through the swarms of people and carts as Neil tried to pull up the bookmarks in his catalog. Andrew laughed at him as he tried to navigate the path and flip through the giant book that even with his Exy wrists, he could barely support with one hand. Eventually he gave up and they just walked. Neil recognized some of the items he had seen and enthusiastically ran around, sitting on Kiviks, Vimles and Soderhamns. His fingertips felt a bit raw and desensitized from sweeping over endless swaths of different fabrics and materials.
It was hard to decide as everything looked so great situated in their stylized set-ups. Neil didn’t know if he wanted super modern or cottagecore style. It was daunting. But in a good way. Where any decision was a thrilling one and there was no wrong answer. Whatever they ended up with would be cool. Finally though, which was almost a relief to Neil, they got to the end of the winding store to the order and pickup section.
“Well?”
“So, everything you circled looks good. I just want my sofa from BoConcept. That’s all I have a preference on,” Andrew explained matter of factly.
“What does it look like? I have some ideas but if that’s the main part of the room, we should match the style.”
Andrew fiddled with his phone and pulled up an image from the sleek Danish website.
Neil balked. The sofa — a buttery leather Bergamo corner unit — started at almost $20k.
Neil knew his boyfriend could have expensive taste but this was not what he had expected in the slightest. “Shit, Andrew. How did you even find this?”
The blond shrugged and turned to study a description of an armchair, speaking purposely toward the plastic tag as if he was talking to it. “We went to visit a former foster brother once. He was a lot older and had already moved out. He had this fancy apartment in San Francisco. It had a view of the rest of the city and his whole apartment was from BoConcept. I don’t know how I remembered that over the years but I did.”
Neil wanted to rush over and hold him, but he didn’t. He stepped closer to hear Andrew’s hushed words better but he gave him the space he knew Andrew would have wanted.
“I don’t know if he was actually happy or not, but he seemed happy. He had some big job at a software firm and lived in this amazing place with beautiful furniture and a nice girlfriend who gave us cookies. I don’t think I wanted that life but it meant something that he was able to do that.”
“Do what?” Neil asked, cautiously. He hadn’t wanted to interrupt but he couldn’t connect the dots and was trying to understand.
A set of hazel eyes met Neil’s. They weren’t angry or annoyed, just genuine. “Seeing his place made me think that I had a chance. A chance of something. That there was more than my shitty foster home and shitty life. If he could get out, then maybe I could too. It was such a slim possibility but it was something…”
He hesitated a little, his breath catching in his throat. “That day, I stole a page from one of the catalogs he had and saved it. I would always look at it…after Drake. It was not enough to be real hope but it was something. A refuge in my mind that nobody could take away.”
At this point, Neil stepped forward, unable to contain himself any longer. He swept Andrew into his arms as they collapsed onto the mini platform where the Poang sample sat. Knees touching, Neil nuzzled his face into the side of Andrew’s neck, wholly breathing him in. Sometimes, Neil just wanted to grab hold of him and never let go. He knew vaguely how much trauma Andrew had suffered through and he had some idea of how much he had compartmentalized and hidden away inside. But it was these rare occasions when Andrew peeled back another layer and Neil saw a glimpse of just how frightening life had been for him. Neil wished he could have been there then. And now that he was, he just wanted so desperately to protect Andrew.
“It’s ok. It’s all ok now,” he soothed. “Your past is your past. Don’t let it be forgotten but also don’t let it weigh you down. This is now. THIS is real. You can make your own choices now. You can have anything you want, Andrew. And if you can’t get it yourself, I will give it to you. ” Neil murmured into the side of Andrew’s neck, inhaling Andrew’s minty pine scent into both nostrils and committing it to memory.
Andrew clutched him back, his hand gripping the back of Neil’s neck so tightly, as he was accustomed to doing. Neil dragged a hand away to run through Andrew’s hair, to sweep over his cheek. He just wanted to be near him. Wanted more surface area to be as close to Andrew as he could.
They sat there for who knows how long. People walked by and most ignored them but a few probably threw some interesting glances their way. It didn’t matter. Finally, though, Neil knew they had to move. He kissed the side of Andrew’s neck and moved slightly to extricate himself. “Are you ok?”
Andrew nodded, their faces still but inches apart. He leaned in and kissed Neil. It was a swift kiss but there was still something urgent and pleading in it. Yet, he pulled away quickly.
Neil stood and reached a hand down to pull Andrew up, who took it and kept their fingers intertwined even after he stood. Andrew didn’t say anything but he looked lighter as he always did after he shared something with Neil.
“Let’s look at the plates,” Andrew said. It was his way to say that he was ok, by changing the subject, and Neil was happy to hear it.
By the time they left, the truck was completely full with no room for anything additional. They managed to get everything they needed for the living room and bedroom plus all the kitchenware they hadn’t had until now. Even the backseat of the cab wasn’t unscathed, the blue bags piled high.
Back at home, it took them almost another hour to get everything moved into the living room. The sheer volume of shit made Neil nervous. Sure, they finally had stuff but how long would it now take to get everything actually set up?
“I have to return the truck to Matt’s,” Neil announced abruptly, glancing at the clock on the stove. “He has a date night with Dan tonight so I promised to have it back to him by 5.”
“I’ll stay here,” Andrew said flatly, busy with his phone.
Annoyed by his utter lack of care, Neil grabbed a quick drink of water before heading out. His phone rang and it was Kevin.
“Hey, Kevin,” he said thickly as he gulped down the paper cup.
“How did IKEA go? Are you still returning the truck by 5? I’m with Matt and he wants to know.”
Neil grunted a yes as he swallowed the last sip. “I’m about to leave now.”
“Oh perfect. Can you actually bring your training gear? I want to run through something new with you. I watched Binghamton's friendly game from last week and I have an idea.”
“Now? Practice today? Kevin, we just got back and the place is a mess. Plus, I’m fucking exhausted.”
Andrew yelled from the living area. “Is that Kevin? If he wants you to go, just go. We can deal with this later.”
Neil flicked a glance at Andrew who seemed unphased by the whole thing and was still preoccupied with his screen. Kevin must have heard Andrew in the background because he answered as such. “OK, see you in a bit. We can walk over to the gym together when you get here.”
Kevin hung up before Neil could say anything else.
“Are you sure, Andrew? We should start setting this stuff up or we will never be able to. This is almost worse than the empty room,” Neil sighed, surveying the tower of brown flatpacks that now seemed to have taken over the open plan space that no longer looked so big. The sea of blue bags was an ocean in itself.
“It will keep. I could use the break anyway,” Andrew declared. “Have fun.” Still glued to his phone, he came over and gave Neil a quick but distracted peck before heading out to the backyard with a cigarette.
Neil got dressed and headed out. The place was a mess but at least they also had tomorrow off. They could stay up late when he got back and try to at least get the bigger stuff done. He refused to spend another night on the floor. At least the bed would have to get built before they went to bed. He hoped Andrew would do some set up but he wasn’t going to hold his breath. Even with Andrew’s emotional admission at IKEA, he had made it clear that he wasn’t interested in this part. It would be all Neil. He sighed and tried to push the building anxiety from his mind. At least Exy would help take his mind off of everything for a couple hours.
It turned out Kevin had some sort of death wish on this particular evening. Along with the other two new striker recruits, Kevin ran them ragged for hours. Neil tried at several points to break early but Kevin wasn’t having any of it. He kept saying that there were only four more weeks of summer and if they didn’t do this now, the Foxes wouldn’t be competitive when the Fall season began.
“Sorry about this.” Neil panted apologetically to the exhausted-looking freshman, Riley Chang, as she collapsed on the bench next to him. “If it wasn’t clear, Kevin is a bit…”
“Psycho?” Riley volunteered. She was one of the exciting new freshmen they had recruited and in an enthusiastic display, she had arrived right after school ended to begin training with them. She was a good fit for the team, both technically and socially.
Neil laughed. “Basically. I hope he didn’t ruin any exciting Saturday plans.”
“Nah, I’m just grabbing dinner with Allison and Renee but it’s fine. They’re used to it by now.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Speaking of which, I need a shower so I can go meet them. Have a good weekend, Neil!”
Neil echoed her goodbyes and headed out himself. The sun was just setting as he checked the time. 7:45. They had been at it for almost three hours. He was completely exhausted and until he stepped back out into the summer twilight, he had almost forgotten the pile of unbuilt furniture that now awaited him at home. Cursing Kevin’s name, he lumbered home, no energy left to run.
By 8:10, he was walking up the little path of their craftsman. Peeking out from the thick white slats in the wooden blinds that had come with the house, a warm bright light emanated from them from the inside. Neil was surprised. So Andrew must have at least put together one of the lamps. At least there was that. Neil massaged the base of his neck with his hand that had begun throbbing. Perhaps he could manage to sleep on the floor tonight after all.
The door swung open and Neil’s legs buckled, almost dropping him to his knees in his utter surprise that wasn’t helped by his overwhelming exhaustion. The entire place was unrecognizable.
It was completely set up.
Save the large empty space where the sofa should have been, the entire living room was done. The rectangular black coffee table sat squarely on the muted gray rug. An accent black and white mid-century modern armchair sat on one side, complete with its dark teal pillow. The lit exposed bulb lamp emitted a soft but bright light. Further beyond, the square raw oak dining table sat in its most compact form with four chairs around it. Beneath was the round jute rug that Andrew had taken a liking to. On top, the boxes were laid out from Neil’s favorite Chinese takeaway alongside two cans of icy cold beer.
“What the fuck. Andrew?” Neil called out into the vacant room that no longer echoed.
“Surprise.” Andrew smirked a little as he first poked out his head, then completely emerged from the bedroom.
“How?” Neil said as he set his bag down next to the large Parlour palm that sat beside the TV. His eyes continued to roam, unable to settle on anything.
“Well, you did seem a little stressed about it so I texted Kevin to distract you for a few hours. I got Nicky, Matt and the girls to help me. Matt and Dan pushed back their date and came over to help assemble all the furniture and set it up.”
Neil’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly like a fish out of water. He was still staring at everything and taking it all in. Andrew grinned and took his hand, leading him into the bedroom.
They had a bed.
The black metal bed frame sat centrally in the room with the two matching nightstands on either side. Neil’s Exy plays notebook sat neatly on top of his side. Above the bed, a large black and white print of the California coast that Andrew had picked out sat above it. At the foot of the bed was a sturdy bench upholstered in a dark forest green fabric.
“Do you like it?” Andrew asked as Neil still hadn’t said anything.
“I don’t know…I don’t know what to say. How?” Neil blubbered incoherently, the words not really coming out correctly.
Andrew laughed at him, the rare sound warm and pleasant especially without the bouncing echo of the formerly empty room. “I knew you were stressed about it, but not this stressed. I can’t believe I rendered you speechless. If I had known it was this easy to shut you up, I would have done it sooner.”
He really was speechless as a wide-eyed Neil stepped closer in to examine everything. A black and white photo pulled his attention. On the nightstand was a rectangular frame. An ordinary image that could have almost been overlooked as a stock image. Neil picked it up for a closer study.
It was Andrew and Neil sitting on the bleachers. It must have been from when Neil had first arrived. His hair was shorter then and his eyes lighter with the contact lenses. He had no memory of it but Wymack must have taken it when they weren’t paying attention.
Neil was looking straight at the camera and Andrew was looking at Neil. If he had seen this photo sooner, he would have certainly known how Andrew felt about him. The look was —it was everything that Andrew said and did for Neil now— all in one glance. Neil swallowed thickly, pushing down the rising emotion with a private smile. His thumb brushed across the blond’s visage. Their early days were tumultuous, to say the least. And now, how far they had come.
Andrew came up from behind and wrapped an arm around Neil’s waist and rested his head on Neil’s back. “I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted to set everything up and I’m sorry my own issues got in the way.”
After a long pause, there was a quiet addendum. A barely existent murmur grazed across Neil’s spine. “Do you like it?”
Neil set the frame carefully down and spun around and with two fingers, guided Andrew’s chin upward so their eyes met. He paused, Neil’s gaze hesitant and questioning but for a second.
“Yes,” Andrew said, simply, leaning in toward Neil. It had been a long and bumpy road to comfortable intimacy but Neil would always be cautious and respectful.
However, that one word was all the invitation he needed. He dipped his head down and their mouths smashed together hungrily. Andrew opened his mouth obediently as Neil pressed in, his tongue roving seemingly on his own. Their bodies pressed together closer and Andrew’s hand moved to clamp tightly in his familiar spot on the back of Neil’s neck. His grip tightened with need and Neil felt the electric prickles down his spine. Their hunger became ravenous and the kisses more urgent as their tongues tangled. Neil felt need building hotly as if had swallowed a glass of boiling water.
Andrew pulled them apart and Neil opened his mouth to protest but Andrew pushed him on the bed. Neil was sweaty and unshowered from practice to be on the freshly made bed but he pushed that thought out of his mind. Andrew pulled off his own shirt before clambering on top of Neil. He purred as Andrew pulled Neil’s shirt over his head and pulled down the waistband of his track pants.
Neil’s breath quickened. He wanted this, he could feel the throbbing below as urgency mounted. Andrew pressed a hot mouth to Neil’s before moving quickly, a trail of kisses down his molten body.
As Andrew’s blond head moved lower and lower down to his stomach, Neil’s hair stood on end with each touch sending a spark to his core. Finally, Andrew’s head bent and when Andrew’s mouth dipped, all he could do was close his eyes and let the pleasure wash over him.
——
After, Neil showered as Andrew reheated the food. Sitting at the dining table, Neil properly surveyed the rest of the living room. There was a large open space where the couch should be.
“When do you want to get the couch?” Neil asked thickly with a mouth full of kung pao chicken.
“I already ordered it. They had availability so it’s coming at the end of the week.” Andrew leaned back in his chair, shirtless. He had only put on some Exy shorts and his abs flexed tautly as he sat back.
Neil nodded in acknowledgement and continued to eat, chewing thoughtfully. He still kept catching his eyes roaming around the newly furnished room.
“Does everything look ok?” Andrew ventured. “We can move anything you don’t like. We were in such a hurry, I just had the guys put things where they could. Of course Dan had certain opinions but I think it looks pretty good?”
Neil swallowed his mouthful of fried rice. “I love it. Really. I still can’t believe you did all this.”
Andrew grinned broadly, his dimple becoming a cavern. “So you found your words again?”
Neil flushed. “Sorry, I was just caught so off guard. But seriously, this is incredible. I feel like we have always lived here. It feels so normal.” His head continued to swivel around back and forth between the kitchen and the living area.
“Do you feel like you’re home now?” The teasing was absent in this sentence. It was pure sincerity from Andrew.
Neil turned his head back to the table to answer Andrew’s weighty question.
“I do,” Neil affirmed. “And I’m sorry I yelled at you for it.”
Andrew got up and grabbed his empty plate. He came around to Neil and planted a kiss on the top of his still damp hair. “It’s ok. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how much this meant to you. But I’m here. For the long haul. I’m yours.”
——
“So, I had a thought,” Neil ventured, as they lay, encased in the slippery leather of the sofa. Andrew rested in the crook under Neil’s arm with his head on Neil’s shoulder. They were watching The Breakfast Club after the long practice they had that day. Neil was slowly upping the pop culture education that he had missed on the run and tonight, it was one of Andrew’s favorites. The ragtag bunch reminded Neil of the Foxes and as the credit scroll came on, he couldn’t help think about his chosen family.
“Hm?” Andrew emitted as a means of a reply.
“Well…the girls have been asking and with all the help the others provided on getting set up, well, I think we should host something.”
“Like a party?”
“Maybe more like a brunch? We already party in the Foxhole basement and well, this is our house.”
The final two words rang out. Even though it had been a few weeks now since the furniture and everything had been set up, it was still sort of unbelievable.
Our house.
They had a house now. Neil had a place in the world. It was only a little over a year ago that Neil would never have believed it. And yet, here they were.
“It could be like how we go to Abby’s. Super casual and people can come and go.” Neil finished.
Andrew didn’t reply. It was like the idea was still ruminating. Hastily, Neil added, “We can start with just the Foxes first. The original crew. That’s only 7 people. What do you think?”
“Aaron will kill us if we don’t invite Katelyn.”
Neil blinked. Andrew appeared natural, as if he hadn’t said anything out of the norm. Neil tried to keep the creeping excitement down but his quickening heart undoubtedly betrayed him. This was huge for Andrew. He was making such an effort and Neil could only be supportive.
“Of course. 8 it is.”
Neil woke up and blinked a couple times. He lay there in that deliciously hazy middle ground between sleep and waking. He stretched out his arm, jolting himself a bit when there was no resistance, just the expanse of cold empty sheet. Andrew never woke up before him. He stretched out, yawning more and padded out to the kitchen.
He was shocked. A big bouquet of bursting purples and oranges sat in their new vase on the dining table. The table leaves were already expanded and the place settings were completely set.
“I couldn’t sleep. I went out this morning and did the full shopping list.”
“You got flowers?” It was all Neil could muster between his astonishment.
“Is it too much?” Andrew asked, sheepishly. “I thought they looked nice and the magazines always have flowers.”
Neil took Andrew squarely by the shoulders and kissed him deeply, letting his arms wrap around him till he was holding him tightly.
“They’re perfect and you’re perfect.”
Their bodies pressed together, Neil realized how much they had changed, molding and melding to the world and each other so they fit together perfectly. Neil had wanted a home but maybe he had already had one. Perhaps Andrew had become his home and the place was merely a location. Additive. The morning was early and the kitchen was south facing but Neil felt as if sunshine was beaming on him.
Andrew smiled broadly, pressing another kiss to the corner of Neil’s upturned mouth. “I’m gonna have a smoke. Start on the quiche.”
The prepping and cooking took the majority of the morning. It was lucky that Andrew had gotten up when he did because hosting a brunch was a lot more work than either of them had thought.
Finally, by 1130, both of them were showered and changed and the food was ready to go. Neil had made the quiche, as promised, and a fruit salad. Andrew had bought a coffee cake from their favorite bakery and had also made a side of bacon for the meat lovers on the team. Andrew had poured the fresh orange juice into a pretty glass jug they had spontaneously picked up at IKEA.
“I told you we would need this,” Andrew smirked.
“Ok, so the one time we will use this.”
“Nope, I’m going to use it everyday now. I refuse to drink anything else directly from the carton,” Andrew replied, unflinching.
“I will use this and drink from that crystal goblet I made you buy and it will be amazing.”
“I knew taking you to IKEA would be a bad idea.”
Andrew laughed an unflinching laugh. “Jokes on you. I will have my BASTUA and my MEDLA and there is nothing you can do about it.”
Ding dong!
Saved by the bell, Neil thought. He rolled his eyes at Andrew affectionately and went and got the door.
The first person who arrived was Kevin. He had wanted to check out the place on his own and he had originally promised to help chop fruit for the salad.
“Wow, you guys really live here.” Kevin said, slowly as if saying it like that would help it sink in. “Together.”
“Do you miss us already?”
“Don’t be mean, Andrew. You know Kevin can’t cope without us.” Neil threw an arm around his friend. “But think of it this way. We have a 70 inch 4K TV and the premium ESPN package. We can watch ALL the games here. Think of how great that will look. You’ll be able to see the sweat.”
Neil was joking but Kevin looked to be seriously contemplating the options, making both Neil and Andrew laugh even more. Kevin’s enthusiasm was eventually drowned out by the doorbell going off for a second time. Kevin waved him away as he picked up the remote and Neil grinned and jogged over to open it. Before he could even fully open it, there were a bunch of loud squeals and a tangle of arms around him as he was mobbed by the girls.
“THIS IS SO CUTE!!” Dan exclaimed, releasing Neil to look around, even though she had clearly seen it a few weeks earlier. Still, it was nice for her act surprised and notice the little touches Neil had added since the furniture was set up. Her braids swung around as her head swiveled in every direction to catch every detail.
Renee squealed again, marveling at everything in the room. Her hands swept over every surface, feeling the different textures.
“Is that a Bergamo??” Allison looked incredulous as she stepped forward for a closer look. Her blond hair was in a high pony and swung as her mouth gaped open.
“Yep.” The reply came from the kitchen area as Andrew stepped out to greet everyone. He wiped his hand on a tea towel before brushing his hair out of his eyes.
“I’m impressed, Minyard. I knew you had it in you with the Maserati but this is next level. My parents have the exact same one at their cabin.”
A foreign look of approval spread across the dealer’s face. One that Neil had rarely seen before. She looked around more, seeing what other impressive treasures she could spy.
“Hey Neil, sorry about the entrance. Where do you want these bottles of prosecco?” Matt walked in, looking harried after having brought in everything the girls hadn’t. He was carrying two large shopping bags and Neil quickly grabbed one and directed him to the kitchen to set them down. Behind him, Nicky held out his own bag.
“I brought stuff for Bloody Marys!”
Neil grinned and ushered his friend into the house. “Great. We didn’t have enough vegetables. Come in, Nicky. Welcome!”
The doorbell rang again and Neil looked up to find Andrew who was giving the girls a tour.
“I’ll get it,” the blond said firmly.
Neil gave a reassuring glance with his eyes. The only people left were Aaron and Katelyn and Neil had known that Andrew wanted to do this. The relationship between the twins was still rocky at best and Neil knew it was secretly killing Andrew. He would never admit it but it was. And Neil knew better to try to fix it because it was something that Andrew had to do for himself. But there was something that Neil could do for him still.
“Nicky, Matt, come on you guys. Bring the girls and come check out this killer backyard.”
There were a few meaningful glances around the room but the Foxes all comprehended it. They understood implicitly, as they always did. Neil took them out to the little patio where there were now two rattan chairs with palm patterned cushions and a little table for the ashtray and candle holder.
“This space is so nice, Neil!” Nicky exclaimed.
“You need a barbecue,” Matt reflected. “That would be amazing for this summer.”
“Shut up a second about food, will ya? This is more important.” Matt looked puzzled as Dan shut him down. “Neil, what is going on in there? Allison and I bet that Aaron wouldn’t come without Katelyn.”
“She was invited,” Neil said swiftly to the girls’ surprise.
“What? Andrew allowed it?” Allison asked again, unbelieving.
“Yep. It was actually Andrew’s idea. Along with Betsy, I think they are…working…on stuff.”
Renee squeezed Neil’s arm. “This is so good for him. I’m so glad they are doing this. Aaron needed this. You can’t keep twins apart for this long.”
Dan looked at Neil with utter amazement. “Remind me never to cross you. Your powers of persuasion are next level. I barely know the guy that’s in there with you.”
Neil smiled, when others could have potentially taken it badly. He looked out and surveyed the yard, a plastered grin refusing to budge before he replied again. “He’s not the same guy. But neither of us are, really.”
“Neil, I’m so happy for you, both of you,” Renee piped up, now moving to extend an arm around Neil.
“We all are,” Dan reiterated as the girls moved closer to envelope him.
“Don’t forget me too!” Nicky screeched, jumping across their backs to enter the group hug.
They stayed like that for a minute before beginning to awkwardly talk about the backyard as they took turns to peek through the sliding glass door.
“Oooh, I think Katelyn’s smiling!” Dan exclaimed excitedly as she stooped down to examine the edge of the patio chair.
Matt rolled his eyes. “Try to look a bit more obvious, why don’t you.”
“Shut it, Boyd. She’s doing the best she can.” Allison remarked, lightheartedly. She picked up one of the pillows and scrutinized the pattern, holding it up into the light. “GUYS! I think they’re hugging!”
The three girls all squealed and nobody bothered to hide their attempts as they all peered excitedly into the glass. After a while, Neil gave up and deemed it fine to go back inside. The others greeted Aaron and Katelyn and they began to get ready to eat.
“Hey Aaron, Katelyn,” Neil greeted. “Welcome.”
“Nice place, Neil,” Aaron remarked, politely but clearly looking a bit relieved.
Katelyn gave Neil a big hug. “Thanks for inviting me.” Turning back to Aaron, she added, “we should get ourselves one of these.”
Aaron’s ears went pink and Katelyn pulled him closer. Neil’s gaze automatically went to meet the quiet Andrew and after telling the couple to make themselves at home, he dragged his boyfriend into the kitchen.
“Everything ok?” Neil asked, softly.
Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “I know what a goldfish feels like now. You guys were so fucking obvious out there.”
Refusing to be distracted, Neil raised an eyebrow until Andrew finally replied. Sighing loudly, he succumbed to Neil’s pressure. “Yes, it’s fine. Do you need to call Betsy for me? Do you need to call Wymack too? I took care of it.”
“Took care of it?”
“Ugh, we’re fine. Get off my back.”
Smiling, Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand. “I’m proud of you,” he said simply. “Now go check on the quiche.
Neil never knew Katelyn that well but it turned out that she fit in easily with the team. The girls already knew her pretty well and she could even manage some Exy conversations with Kevin. The group gathered excitedly around the table. There were a few mismatched folding chairs that Matt had brought over and a couple paper plates but nevertheless, it was perfect. As Neil poured out drinks and held his glass up to toast, he couldn’t help feel that warm and fuzzy feeling that he had only ever heard about.
“I just want to thank you all for coming and especially for helping get the house set up. We are so happy to have you here and we love you. Cheers!” Surprised at his own forthrightness, he grinned and his eyes locked with Andrew who had reluctantly lifted his glass. Under the unmoving eyes, Neil caught the faintest upturn of the blond’s mouth and that was enough for him. His smile broadened. “Dig in!”
The rest of the brunch went swimmingly. While the quiche did burn a little in the new oven, no one seemed to mind and after a few more glasses of mimosas, everything tasted amazing. There was more than enough food for everyone and at first, everyone focused on eating. Gradually, the conversation started and it became just like one of their regular evenings at Sweetie’s.
“I am so full,” Renee managed, quietly as they all lay around the living room after. They had long since abandoned the formality of the dining table and had brought the drinks over to the sofa. The aftermath of the brunch lay on the dining table but Neil and Andrew could deal with that later. Her hand rested on her stomach and she lay on the ground with her head and back resting on Nicky’s knees as he sat in one of the armchairs.
“Me too,” Nicky burped out. “Excuse me.” He took another swig of prosecco.
The others laughed and another round of prosecco started making its way around. In the distracted loud chatter of the others, Neil stole a moment of quiet. He was sitting on the ground and Andrew was beside him, sitting in one of the dining chairs pulled over from the other room. He wove his fingers through Andrew’s and met his questioning look.
Neil shook his head. Nothing, he mouthed. In actuality, it was everything. He was so happy at this moment in time that he didn’t think anything could change it. He rested his head on Andrew’s knee who brushed a hand across the side of his face and into his hair.
Neil continued to watch the others and a pleasant contentment spread through him. This was it. This place and these people. Most importantly, these people.
He was happy.
Neil shuddered awake, the stress of the brunch and one too many proseccos easily lulling him to sleep. As the group disbanded in the late afternoon, he had somehow managed to get onto the Bergamo. He woke up hours later; he could tell because the sun was low in the sky and a vermillion blanket had spread over it. He stretched, still in that luscious purgatory between asleep and awake. It had been soft tinkering noises that had woke him up.
“Hmm?”
“Oh, you’re up.” A voice rang out from the kitchen.
Neil barely stifled his large yawn as he sat up against the back of the buttery sofa. He blinked and looked around. Andrew was dressed back in sweats and padded in his new slippers across the floor from the kitchen. He held a laden tray that he sat down on the coffee table.
“What is this?”
“I figured I let you sleep since you were tired after the brunch. But I made a light dinner for us and we can watch that USC exhibition game.”
Neil swept his eyes across the spread that lay before them. Andrew had used the leftovers from brunch to make BLTs with a side of creamy tomato soup. Next to it were a couple bowls of chips, which Neil knew were for the game. His heart fluttered that Andrew knew he always needed salty snacks when they watched sports. For himself, Andrew had set aside his usual Rolos and M&Ms.
Stretching widely, he yawned. Andrew plopped down next to him. He had a clean, slightly floral scent from his fresh clothes and Neil couldn’t help snuggle up close. Andrew fiddled with the remote and turned on the game. The screech of sneakers on the court and familiar sounds of Exy filled the room and Neil, himself, was filled with joy. With these sounds and this person next to him, he felt safe. He wrapped an arm under Andrew’s to squeeze him tighter, to never let go.
His eyes were focused on the flashing colors of the game but he wasn’t really paying attention. Instead, his mind wandered and he considered what he had learned the past month. He and Andrew hadn’t actually needed to move in together. They also hadn’t actually needed a house. Yes, it was cozy and it had brought them closer but the things Neil was looking for were already in front of him. He had craved stability and family but he discovered he had already had both. The Foxes were his family and Andrew was his anchor. A constant in his life that he now knew would always be there for him. It didn’t matter if Riko was still around or even if he was back on the run. All he needed was Andrew and it was enough.
Pressing closer to Andrew, Neil planted a kiss on the top of his head. With his free hand, he laced it through one of Andrew’s and sat back, getting comfortable within the soft confines of the sofa. He was home.