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Crazy Spider

Summary:

But he decides in his head that the world decided to not be too kind to him today, because the person standing across from him is HiMERU.

HiMERU.

HiMERU?! Why?!

Notes:

ummm hello! this is my first time writing for enstars at all + have not written fanfiction in a year + i dont write often AT ALL so this might be an awkward read... i love rinhime tho. like so much. so i hope this is okay
self inserted myself with australian spider mention, thanks to gee for giving me the fic idea ^_^ enjoy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Rinne is humiliated.

 

He is genuinely at a loss for words. Any and every excuse that he could use his years of practice of generating excuses for is lodged tight in his throat, unable to crawl its way out of his mouth. He can quite literally feel his body growing stiff, as if he’s turning into a wooden doll (honestly, he’d be like a weird, red-headed version of Pinocchio at this point).

 

Really, the whole situation is stupid. Other words come to mind, like silly, ridiculous, nonsensical, outrageous, absurd---

 

It’s stupid. Stupid, stupid stupid stupid.

 

How does this thing even happen? To a person? To a man? To him? He sort of wishes that a random black hole would suddenly appear on the floor and suck him in, never again to be seen by humankind for the rest of his existence and a thousand years after that.

 

Honestly, the thing is, it’s not even the actual situation that’s embarrassing – it’s the person that he’s sharing the experience with. If it had been Niki, or Kohaku, or Hiiro, or even someone like that goddamn snake Saegusa (too many times he has woken up to a declaration of “COSPRO is being sponsored by yada yada, so time to pack your bags and travel across the country!!~”), it would have been fine. It could be a bit uncomfortable, but he’d be able to push through it like he always does. There would be no issue. None.

 

But he decides in his head that the world decided to not be too kind to him today, because the person standing across from him is HiMERU.

 

HiMERU.

 

HiMERU?! Why?!

 

If he’s turned into that wooden Pinocchio yet, he prays to whatever God that is sitting in Heaven and drinking he tears of sinners from his porcelain china (or whatever the fuck, he doesn’t actually care too much—no, he actually doesn’t care!! Stop twisting my words, I’m not jealous of him! I’m better than him in every way!!!) that he gets eaten alive by termites until he’s nothing but pathetic chips of bark.

 

Rinne has been reduced to such a pathetic state of utter shock that he doesn’t realise how much time passes until HiMERU makes a sound. At first, he thinks that he’s choking, since the sound noticeably comes from so deep in his throat, but when he looks at him, he realises.

 

HiMERU is laughing.

 

HiMERU is laughing at him.

 

…What?

 

His state of confusion is broken as HiMERU transitions from stifling his laughter to little giggles. They sound almost feminine at first with how high-pitched they are. He covers his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to force himself to look away and at the wall instead, perhaps to spare Rinne or himself. Rinne sees his eyes flick to his frame, and then HiMERU absolutely loses it. He sags his slim frame against the doorframe, heaving out the heartiest laugh Rinne thinks he’s ever heard in his life. It’s like he hasn’t laughed like this in years (let’s be real here, he probably hasn’t) with the way the laughter tumbles out of him.

 

“I-I’m—I’m sorry, Amagi,” HiMERU tries to speak, but he is cut off by his own fit of laughter. The laughs just get louder, and he slowly sinks to the floor against the doorframe, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and gripping his stomach.

 

“M-Merumeru,” Rinne reaches his hand out, not trying to help him, but just out of his perplexed state, “what’s so funn—eep!”

 

HiMERU’s laughing fit turns vicious after Rinne makes what he has decided to be the absolute most embarrassing sound in his life. He thinks it’s criminal, that this is some sick joke, seeing how HiMERU is (what Rinne believes) jumping for joy at his despair. He also thinks it’s criminal that the noise even came from his throat at all.

 

Now, why had Rinne made that sound in the first place? That’s the easiest question to answer in this scenario, as it’s—ohmyGodit’srightnexttohim “Ohmygod, it’s comin’ towards me!! Merumeru, heellpppp!!!!”

 

Rinne wails in fear and despair, crawling off of his knees and charging towards the exit HiMERU was occupying with his bodyframe. “Merumeru, ‘m serious, do somethin’!!”

 

It’s as if a flip switches in HiMERU, seeing Rinne fling himself at him like that, when he takes his shoe off, saunters past him (without hugging him to reassure him, that big ol’ meanie! How dare you leave me alone while I suffer?! Big ol’ bully Merumeru!!!) and crushes the spider under his shoe. Rinne stares at HiMERU, because wow it looks like he’s just killed someone in cold blood (that spider did not count as a person to him). He thinks he looks kind of nice like this, and immediately shoves that thought into the dark corners of his brain.

 

Silence washes over them for a minute, before it is broken by the blue-haired idol.

 

“…HiMERU believed you were not afraid of spiders, Amagi.”

 

“Not afraid of the small little ones,” Rinne justifies, trying to convince himself, “but that was not a small little one. Merumeru, that was like a monster rose from Hell!! Fuckin’ scary as shit!” HiMERU stifles another laugh but manages to hold it in this time.

 

“…Okay…” HiMERU hums in an absolutely unconvincing manner, essentially spreading the message of “you’re a pussy and everyone will know it, and your life will never be the same as it was before this moment struck you and shoved itself up your ass.

 

“No, Merumeru, seriously,” Rinne whisper-yells the last part for no reason, pointing at the black splat on the ground behind him, “surely that thing was from Australia or somethin’?! How do spiders even get that big?!”

 

HiMERU’s giggle session returns as Rinne continues to sputter obscenities and excuses for “’m not scared of spiders, ‘cept for that one!! That was fuckin’ big!! You saw it, right, Merumeru?! I’m not crazy for all this, am I?!”

 

“Seriously Amagi,” HiMERU chuckles to himself in gentle amusement, “that’s adorable. You truly are amusing.”

 

 

“…Hah?”

Notes:

spoiler alert: emueisu on twitter