Chapter Text
Miscellaneous - in no particular order.
To a windmill, a gnome had been tied,
so assistance I tried to provide -
but I wasn't so clever,
I pulled the wrong lever,
committing instead gnomicide.
I once met a surgeon named Thorm,
whose nurses were far from the norm.
With a little persuasion,
one last operation
I ordered them all to perform.
A lament for poor lonely Lenore,
whom sadness befell long before:
Many ways in Faerûn
might one find death too soon,
but a fate like hers frightens me more.
So, I hear there's a Wavemother's dress.
If it's worn while wet, it'll bless.
To my girl I will give it,
then dive for her divot -
and then I'll be making a mess.
I danced in the land of the 'shrooms.
It's so beautiful there when it blooms -
and the spores they release
bring contentment and peace
when a number of them, one consumes.
To any young wizards who've fretted
'bout bringing off babes whom they've bedded:
What's true for conduction
applies to seduction,
'cause some things are better pre-wetted.
Isobel's prayers projected
a spell to keep people protected -
but now, thanks to Marcus,
she's cold as a carcass,
her inn-mates adversely affected.
I gathered up all of the rope,
and kept it around with the hope
that the devs might intend
for the plot to depend
on its use at the end... but nope.
There once was a True Soul named Nere,
who commanded his gnomes with a sneer.
To the bastard's chagrin,
I did cut, 'neath his chin,
a much bloodier grin, ear to ear.
A verse, for Viconia De Vir:
The devs did you dirty, my dear.
My fine former flame
is now naught but a name -
like a memory unmade by Shar's mirror.
I dressed using each of the dyes,
but what happened was quite a surprise -
it seems most every hue
gives a much different view
than the one their description implies.
I once met some people of Gond,
and attempted to help them abscond -
but of large altercations
and self-detonations
they seemed suicidally fond.
A priest of the Maiden of Pain
had a faith he was keen to explain.
He hit me, and hurt me,
which didn't convert me -
though teammates, it did entertain.
A priest of the Maiden of Pain
had a fix he did try to obtain.
He beat me quite raw,
but was sad when he saw
that I didn't so much as complain.
I wish we could play through as Orin,
with cutscenes that she could show more in.
My darkest of urges
is, one day, to purchase
that outfit to strut like a whore in.
Mayrina I met, and her Connor.
Sadly, the guy was a goner.
The truth of his end
she would not comprehend,
until gently I laid it upon her.
In my camp was a man made of bone,
who seemed sad that I'd walketh alone -
so he hosted, the night
that we'd won our last fight,
the best party that I'd ever known.
I was frightened by Orin the Red
when she came to my party and said:
"I've gone and I've snatched
one to whom you're attached!" -
but she only took Halsin instead.
Said Volo, “I’m reasonably sure
that I have come up with a cure”.
Some tools he then brought to me…
[FRONTAL LOBOTOMY] -
now I’ve got one eyeball fewer.
To the folks at the Inn of Last Light -
I’m sorry I messed up that fight.
I’ve run out of saves,
so you’ll stay in your graves
‘til my very next Tav gets it right.
I think that the quest that's the hardest
is finishing up "Free the Artist."
When pathing through doors
and across different floors,
the camera's not always the smartest.
If persuasion checks are a priority,
here's how to pass the majority:
Watch the symbol that glows
'til the power in you flows,
and the tadpole bestows... Authority.