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He always loved being held.
His hands came up to grasp at the strong arms holding him tight around his chest, a firm body plastered against his back. Soft, hot breaths in his ear had him melting into their arms even more, his head tipped back to lean on their shoulder as they rocked together.
It had been a long time since he'd been fucked like this. Loved like this.
It was tender and sweet and so, so filthy. Languid thrusts hitting deep, right where he wanted. A light sheen of sweat covered his skin - their skin - telling him they'd been at this for a while. He lost track of time, honestly, but he didn't mind. He wanted to stay like this forever.
Filled. Held. So completely encompassed by the heat of the other man.
He let his eyes close for a moment and breathed in, the warm smell of hibiscus, vanilla, and green tea intoxicating.
He started to reach for his own cock, hand slowly drifting down, but then a hand quickly grabbed his wrist, halting his movement. The firm grip spoke volumes - if he was gonna come, it would be just from this.
Next thing he knew, he was pushed forward onto all fours, hands going to grip his hips now as their bodies moved together.
He could feel how much deeper his cock could go in this position, the thrusting getting stronger, hands pulling him back so that skin met skin with force.
He wanted it all. Every gentle touch, every rough press. Everything.
He wanted the bruises on his hips, hand shaped and tender to the touch in the morning, when light kisses would cover them in lazy patterns and the room would grow brighter and they could start again.
He felt the familiar weight settle on his back, their rhythm beginning to falter. He was so close, they both were. Firm arms wrapped around him, holding him steady until he felt the warmth spread inside him. Eyes shut tight again, he savoured the feeling, pushing back to make it go deeper.
A few more sharp thrusts, hitting him perfectly, and he was coming too, getting fucked through his orgasm with a shout.
"Eddie!"
His eyes flew open. He was lying down, flat on his back. No hands gripping his waist. No weight of another man draped over his back. Just an uncomfortable wetness in his shorts and an old couch under him.
Eddie's couch .
Eddie, who he just heard say his name.
From behind him.
From the hall.
The hall that led to Eddie's bedroom. Where Buck was just seconds ago in his dream.
"Buck! What happened? Are you okay?"
"What?"
"You screamed my name! I thought you were hurt!
"I'm fine! Sorry!" He almost shouted. He continued, quieter. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I-I…"
"Had a nightmare. Uh, do you want to talk about it?"
"No!" His reply came too fast, too loud. Eddie's eyes widened slightly, a little surprised, a little worried.
He moved closer. Buck sprung back quickly, startling Eddie to a stop. If he wasn't concerned before, he was now. He inched forward and slowly sat on the end of the couch that Buck's feet had vacated.
"Buck, please. Talk to me?"
He turned his head away from Eddie. His cheeks flushed, embarrassed.
"I won't… I won't think any less of you. I want to help." He attempted to reach out, but Buck shifted out of his range.
That was when he saw it.
Buck didn't think Eddie's eyes could get any wider. His face moved so quickly from worried to understanding. Buck turned red.
"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I think we should," he said, an underlying care in his words. Then, after taking a deep breath, Eddie put himself forward. " I would like to talk about it."
"There's nothing to talk about, Eds."
"That 'nothing to talk about' looks uncomfortable. Sticky, at the very least." And Buck groaned at that, slapping his hand over his face. He was embarrassed, yes, but he was also catching up to everything that was happening. Less than an hour ago, he'd been blissfully unaware of his feelings, and now the evidence was on display for both of them to see. He looked through his fingers at Eddie.
He hadn't moved. Hadn't run away. Hadn't yelled at him to get out of his house.
Instead, he was looking at him expectantly, a flicker of hope in his eyes.
“Do you trust me, Buck?”
“You know I do.”
“Then trust that whatever you’re hiding isn’t going to change how I look at you.”
It would appear that he was catching up to Eddie, too.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, if you tell me it was just a dream, then it was just a dream and I’ll go back to bed. But,” and he moved closer, the smell of his body wash filling the space, “if you tell me there’s a reason why you yelled out my name just then, well, I’m here and I’m waiting.”
Buck didn’t know what to do. He could hardly explain to himself what he had dreamt up, so how could he begin to tell Eddie?
Yeah, I just had a wet dream about you. Actually, it looks like I’ve been having wet dreams about you for a long time, I just didn’t know it was you until I came in my pants on your couch.
Absolutely not.
But he had to do something. Eddie was sitting so patiently, open to hearing whatever it was that Buck had decided to make of the sudden outcry that woke them both. He caught his eye, making Buck’s breath hitch in his throat.
“I had an intense dream and you were there.”
“Okay,” he said, studying his face. “Okay. If that’s it, then that’s it. Good night, Buck.”
Eddie stood up in front of him. He paused, gave Buck another little nod, then turned to go back down the hallway.
He didn’t lie, but it felt like he did anyway. Buck didn’t like that it felt like he had disappointed him. He didn’t want him to go back to bed and they ignore it in the morning, blinked away and forgotten just like any other dream.
Fuck it.
“Eddie, wait.”
He got up quickly and went over to him. Then he noticed how close they were all of a sudden, how he had pretty much trapped Eddie against the wall. He froze. Whatever bravery he had mustered up in that split second had leeched back into the shadows of the night.
He chanced a look into his eyes. There it was again. Some kind of hope.
Eddie had clearly guessed what he dreamed about and, for some reason, stuck around. He kept giving him an out, but Buck could tell he wanted to stay. Eddie had figured out what Buck wanted before he could and wanted it, too. Buck swallowed down his nerves.
“I didn’t know what it was. Not really,” he said softly.
“That’s fine. Do you know what you wanted it to be?”
“I think I do now.”
“Tell me.”
“I-I don’t know if I can.”
Eddie reached out for his hand and laced their fingers together, pulling him closer. He waited to see if Buck would pull away. He didn’t.
“Can I tell you what I want it to be? How I wanted this,” he said, gesturing down, “to have been because of me?”
“Eddie –”
“Can I kiss you? Please?”
He answered by tilting forward, Eddie meeting him with confidence.
It was always easy to move in tandem with Eddie, he really should have realised it sooner. They worked together seamlessly, lived together with ease, it only made sense that they’d fit together in this way too. Eddie seemed so sure of what was happening, so completely in control of himself, Buck was compelled to follow. He’d go anywhere with Eddie.
They kissed until they were out of breath.
“Tell me now?” Buck opened his mouth but he couldn’t speak, the heady feeling completely taking away his voice. As if Eddie had licked the words right out of his mouth. That didn’t stop Eddie from understanding him.
“Alright then. Show me.”
Eddie would go anywhere with him.
Buck took him by the hand and led him back to his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. He took a second to ground himself before he’d lose his nerve. He pulled him into another kiss, soft and chaste, before stepping back again until his legs met the edge of the bed. Eddie went to his side and they sat down together. Buck hesitated for a second.
“Buck, if you want to back out, you can. I won't think any less of you."
And there it was again. Eddie had always understood him. He saw his insecurities, calling it out even in his first few days, and liked him anyway. If he focused on it harder, he'd have noticed how seen he felt by Eddie, how taken care of, how appreciated. How he would take whatever Eddie wanted to give him and Buck would give him all that he had in return. All this time, it was Eddie.
"It was always you."
He got up and positioned himself so he was about to straddle Eddie.
"Is this okay?"
"Y-yes."
As he sat down over his lap, he watched as Eddie's eyes seemed to darken.
"I'm happier the more time I spend with you. More content. I want to be better. I want to impress you. I want to make you happy."
He reached down to cup Eddie's chin as Eddie gripped his waist.
"And not just that. For the longest time, I've been imagining this faceless man, holding me. Fucking me. Loving me. God, Eddie, it was always you…"
"Buck –"
He tilted Eddie’s head up and kissed him.
"You, the reason for this." He rocked his hips forward, eyes drifting down to see his cock getting harder and pressing into Eddie's stomach, the wet spot that had started to dry dampened again. He took his time looking over Eddie’s face, his body solid and real.
Roaming eyes became roaming hands. He reached under Eddie's shirt, fingers ghosting over a nipple, and back down again before pulling it off. Eddie did the same to him.
He could feel Eddie's hard cock beneath him. He began to grind down as he went to kiss him again.
They separated briefly, taking off their shorts with speed.
"Feel better?" Eddie teased. Buck pushed Eddie to lay back on the bed. He climbed back on top of him and rolled his hips, making Eddie moan. He lay his body over Eddie’s, pressing their cocks together.
After another long, messy kiss, Eddie flipped them over.
“Do you want to slow down?” Which was a fair question. They’d never kissed before and now, here they were, naked and hard. Things had changed, there was no going back, so they could wait now that they were on the same page. But now that he’d finally realised what his subconscious had been telling him for a long time, he didn’t want to wait any longer.
“Eddie, I want - I want you to fuck me.”
He watched as Eddie grinned and went to the side table, pulling out lube. He paused. Buck knew what he was looking for and he didn’t want it.
“I’m okay if you are. I haven’t been with anyone else since I was last tested.”
“Okay, yeah. I’m okay.”
Eddie went to kneel between his legs. His eyes were glued to Eddie’s hands, watching as he slicked up his fingers and positioned them at his rim. He shut his eyes, then, feeling how Eddie carefully opened him up.
It was almost overwhelming, the reality of it all. He was always already in the middle of things in his dreams, so this was a fresh feeling. He was getting lost in the sensations of Eddie’s fingers stretching him, the sweet kisses Eddie was leaving on his thighs.
The bed shifted and Eddie was kneeling between his legs. He positioned himself and made eye contact. With a nod from Buck, Eddie slowly pushed in, not stopping until he was fully seated.
They waited a moment, both of them reveling in the feeling before either of them moved. Then Eddie set a steady pace, full and deep thrusts that had Buck keening.
Eddie leaned down over him, putting his hands down on either side of Buck’s body.
“Were we like this? I want to make your dreams come true.”
Buck motioned for Eddie to pull out. He turned over to get on his hands and knees and then he was full again.
" I've been dreaming about this for so long, Buck." He kissed up his spine. “Now that I have you, I don’t ever want to let you go.”
Buck pushed himself back to sit in Eddie’s lap. He grabbed at Eddie’s hands and placed them across his body, his own resting on top.
Buck was losing time again, fully submitting to Eddie’s control. He held him still as he thrust up into him. The slow drag of his cock was almost torturous, everything heightened by the reality of it all.
"Think you could do it for me like you did in your sleep? Can you come for me just from this?"
Buck found that he didn’t have any more words or sounds, only increasingly desperate movements. He nodded his head fervently, readjusting his hold on Eddie’s arm, a facsimile of his dreams. Only this time, it was infinitely better because it really was Eddie holding him tight to his chest, breathing heavy in his ear. Eddie didn't know the details of his dream and yet it was everything he had imagined. Better, even.
And just like in his dream, Eddie shifted them so that Buck was kneeling in front of him. But then, Eddie pulled out.
"Get on your back again. I want to see your face when you come. I want to see how good I can make you feel."
Eddie sank back in with more force this time, hands gripping his hips. These bruises would be real, he'd see them in the daylight.
“Fuck, Eddie, please.”
Where he was measured and sweet before, he was now rough and demanding, sharp thrusts pushing Buck into the mattress. He couldn’t do anything but hold on to the arms that held his body down and take it. It was perfect.
He could feel the pleasure reaching fever pitch, Eddie’s pace quickening as he clenched down on his cock.
“Good boy. Fuck, you’re so good for me. I knew you would be, you always are.”
He had never come so hard in his life.
Eddie fucked him through his orgasm, bending down to kiss him deeply. His cock was pressed between their stomachs in the mess he just made, the contact sending aftershocks through his body. Then, forehead still resting on his, Eddie grunted as he came inside him. He kissed him again sloppily, body collapsing over him, and then moved to nuzzle into his neck.
“How long?” he breathed, followed by a kiss.
“A long time, I think. Maybe since the beginning.”
He felt Eddie’s smile against his skin.
“Same,” he hummed. “I’d always hoped, but I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
“Took me a second to figure it out.”
“Worth the wait.”
He laughed. Eddie shifted so that he was snuggled into Buck’s side, draping his arm over his stomach, unbothered by the tacky load cooling there. They’d have to get up eventually, shower off, and, come morning, talk about everything. But for now, they were content to lay in each other’s arms in the blissful haze of their afterglow.
Buck kissed Eddie on the forehead and held him tight, buzzing from this dream he’d never have to wake up from.