Work Text:
Ranpo was in a dilemma. Poe had been acting weirdly. Some months ago he had been avoidant of him but since a couple weeks ago, Poe had been standing closer to him and offering to get Ranpo whatever he had asked for or he had mentioned something he had liked one time a couple months ago. Ranpo sat on his desk lollipop in his mouth. It was weird from his normal behavior of following him from a distance and always asking before hand.
So of course being the world's best detective he was going to get to the bottom of it. He waved hello to Yosano upon seeing her enter the Agency. Ranpo grabbed his glasses from his jacket pocket and put them on. He was going to solve this mystery right now! Poe won't be beat him today!
Right! Now the reason which is obvious that Poe has been acting so strangely is that he wants to get close to Ranpo to figure out how to perfect his book and beat Ranpo! Ranpo let out a laugh, and smirked. While a smart tactic Poe, it just won't work now that Ranpo knows. He'll just switch up his normal routines and confuse him!
"What are you laughing about now? Did you get a good case?" Yosano asked interrupting Ranpo. She had her hand on her hip and a smug look on her face.
"I figured out why Poe has been weird about me," Ranpo grinned at Yosano.
Yosano looked shocked before huffing wrapping an arm around Ranpo, "It's about time you did! I thought the two of you would never stop dancing around each other!"
"Dancing around each other?" Ranpo raised an eyebrow at Yosano in confusion, "What does that have to do with Poe observing me to perfect his book so he could beat me?"
"Observing?" Yosano questioned before shaking her head, "You and I are talking about two different things but Ranpo, he's not acting weird because he wants to beat you, I can tell you that much."
"Then why is he acting weird?" Ranpo took off his glasses and pouted shoving a cinnamon roll in his mouth. His lollipop long finished.
"You're the world's greatest detective not me, figure it out," Yosano shrugged and walked away leaving Ranpo in confusion.
If Poe wasn't trying to get close to figure out how to finally beat him then why was he acting so strange? Ranpo nodded in confirmation, he will just have to observe Poe closely so he can figure it out! He'll watch him closely and get the things he likes and asks for too! Within his budget...because Ranpo wasn't rich like Poe. He can't spend millions of dollars on a singular book like Poe can. Oh how Ranpo wishes he could. Oh how the Agency wishes they could.
Attempt 1
It didn't take long for Ranpo to find Poe. He was working, writing something hopefully a new mystery for Ranpo to crack.
Ranpo sat in the corner scribbling notes in his notebook as Poe has yet to notice his presence too busy with his writing. He must be getting to the good parts.
Ranpo hummed as he continued to write what he observed. Poe then stopped writing and spoke out loud in thought.
"I should get more food for Karl soon."
'Buy food for Karl'
Ranpo wrote that down before pausing and then writing
'Figure out what raccoons eat.'
Poe was about to start back writing when Ranpo dropped his pencil. Poe spun around so fast that Ranpo swore he got whiplash.
"RANPO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHEN DID YOU GET HERE? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?" Poe yelled grasping his desk on surprise. Karl jumping off his shoulders onto the neighboring chair.
"I came here to observe you obviously," Ranpo huffed waving his notebook like it was obvious.
"W-W-Why?" Poe stammered out shuffling the stack of papers on the desk in a pile and shoving it in the drawer. Ranpo raised an eye at that but didn't question it.
"Well because you're acting weird around me! So, obviously if I observed you, I'd figure it out," Ranpo explained with a playful roll of his eyes.
"Acting weird?" Poe questioned, there was a small blush on his face.
"Mhm and I deduced it was because you were trying to perfect your novel so you could beat me but Yosano said it wasn't that," Ranpo slouched down on the chair. He wished he brought some cinnamon rolls or something sweet with him. He had been caught up with Poe that he forgot them.
"Oh...well I don't know how I'm acting weird at all," Poe mumbled.
"Well, I'll figure it out for the both of us then!" Ranpo gave a thumbs up, "Just count on the world's greatest detective!"
Ranpo then left the room to get some sweets. Poe sighed and slumped against the chair.
"Ranpo, you're such a smart dummy," Poe whispered to himself glad that Ranpo didn't see the unsent love letters he wrote and was writing for Ranpo.
Attempt 2
Ranpo was at the Agency not bothering Poe. He did buy food for Karl and was planning on giving it to Poe after work.
He knew where Poe was staying at in Yokohama having been there a couple times.
"Still haven't figured it out yet?" Dazai asked walking up to him ignoring Kunikida’s shouts.
"Nope, only thing I can think of is his novel," Ranpo pouted gracefully taking the cinnamon offered by Dazai.
"You and Yosano know what's weird with him don't you?" Ranpo continued. Of course they both knew.
"Well, the entirety of the Agency and the Port Mafia knows. I'm sure whoever left of the guild knows. Poe isn't exactly subtle about it," Dazai shrugged.
Dazai left leaving Ranpo to sulk in the corner. What else could Poe be acting weird?
Dazai wonders when Ranpo realizes that nothing has changed about Poe's behavior and that he's just in love with him.
Ranpo at night found himself outside Poe's place. He held a plastic bag filled with things that Karl could eat. Just like he originally planned.
He knocked on the door and waited for a reply. It only took a couple of minutes for Poe to answer. He looked disheveled and red in the face. Like he ran a marathon just now.
"Ranpo! What are you doing here?" Poe questioned opening the door wider for him to enter.
"I came here to give Karl food. You mentioned it when I was observing you," Ranpo nodded pleased with himself.
Poe looked surprised but took the bag with a thanks.
"Now, why are you acting so weirdly?" Ranpo asked bluntly.
"I don't know! I don't understand what you're talking about?" Poe stammered gripping the bag tighter.
"Liar!" Ranpo pointed a finger at him and continued, "I have deduced that you indeed in fact know, why but you don't want to say it!"
"Ranpo, I swear I don't know anything," Poe stammered out setting the bag down.
"Swear?" Ranpo hummed seeing the genuine confusion on Poe's face.
"I swear," Poe nodded.
"Fine then, goodnight Poe!" Ranpo waved goodbye. Poe thanked him for the food again before Ranpo left.
Poe ran a hand through his hair, "Just as I was practicing what I was planning on saying. Why is he the dumbest person I know?"
Attempt 3
Ranpo still couldn't figure it out. Dazai and Yosano tested him about it for a while now. Kenji, Atsushi and Kyouka were no help along with Naomi and Tanizaki. Kunikida just told him to do his job. Even the President didn't have any good advice.
Ranpo stared out the window. What if Poe was getting close to him because...he's dying and doesn't have much time left to live?
Ranpo grabbed his jacket that was laying on the chair and left the room ignoring the calls from the others.
Ranpo ran despite the distance. He wasn't thinking but after some time, he probably should've.
But he made it. He banged on the door impatient to wait for Poe to open it.
"Hel- Ranpo! Why are you here? Is there a case?" Poe said opening the door.
Ranpo took deep breaths as Poe let him inside. He sat on the couch and took a couple of minutes to regain his breath.
"You're dying," Ranpo huffed out.
"I'm what!" Poe exclaimed as he spun around from locking the door.
"You're dying that's why you're acting weird and you want to spend time with me before you die but you didn't want to tell me because you wanted to spare my feelings," Ranpo rambled, "Well you didn't spare my feelings. In fact I'm upset that you never tol-"
Figuring It Out
Ranpo was interrupted by Poe kissing him. Oh...
Poe stepped back and paled, "I-I-Im sorry! I didn't mean to! You were just talking and I wanted you to shut up!"
Ranpo touched his lips. He stood up, "I need to talk to Yosano and Dazai," He said.
"Ranpo, wait!" Poe called out but Ranpo had left.
He managed to text Kunikida to come pick him up. Back in the Agency he grabbed Dazai and Yosano and dragged them into Yosano's office.
Once the door closed Ranpo turned around after locking the door, "Poe kissed me."
Yosano grinned and cheered, "You figured it out! Congratulations! Now we can finally go on those triple dates."
"Poe's been acting weird cause he likes me!" Ranpo exclaimed.
"You didn't figure it out?" Yosano frowned looking fed up.
"Ranpo you might be the world's greatest dumbass. At least Atsushi and Akutagawa while not together at least know they like the other," Dazai sighed. Yosano nodded in agreement.
"Please tell me you didn't leave him after he kissed you?" Yosano placed her hands on her hips.
"I did... I was confused..." Ranpo nodded slowly collapsing onto the chair.
"Well did you hate it?" Dazai asked.
"No! Of course not!" Ranpo denied gripping the sides.
Yosano and Dazai looked at each other then back at Ranpo. "Well, did you like it?" Yosano asked.
Ranpo nodded. Thinking back on it, he didn't hate it. The kiss felt good. Poe felt good. Ranpo shuffled for his glasses and put them on.
"Poe was never acting weird was he?" Ranpo asked rhetorical.
"And that you were just now paying more attention to what he was doing because you like him?" Dazai nodded.
"I need to go," Ranpo stood up, "I like Poe and I need to go and apologize and kiss him."
"I'll grab my keys," Yosano nodded. The three left the Agency with haste. They'll survive without them for the day.
Yosano drove them to Poe's place. Ranpo directing her where to go. Once arriving Ranpo ran out with Yosano and Dazai cheering him on.
He banged on the door and Poe opened it again. He looked terrible and Ranpo felt bad.
"I figured out why you were acting strange," Ranpo said.
"That's great, I have work to do so if that's all then-"
"You weren't acting strange. You never were, I was just paying more attention to your actions because I like you," Ranpo interrupted making way inside Poe's place.
"You like me?!" Poe blushed red, "But you ran ou-"
"I didn't know I that I liked you at the time. Yosano and Dazai helped me figure it out. It wasn't you but me. I was the weird one," Ranpo said.
Poe knew that was Ranpo apologizing for leaving so he took his hand and pressed his lips against it.
"I shouldn't have kissed you out of the blue like that anyways, especially when-"
Ranpo interrupted Poe with a kiss. Poe was shocked and Ranpo pulled away much to Poe's disappointment.
"Now we’re even," Ranpo grinned.
"Even," Poe smiled.
The Poe kissed Ranpo this time not pulling away before he could kiss back.
Bonus
"Well, it's time we get Akutagawa and Atsushi together," Dazai said.
"It would be about damn time," Yosano nodded.