Work Text:
- Art by Ahhrenata -
Part One:
Zoom
August, 2073
Hawkins, Indiana
Hawkins was a small town. It was old, stubborn and resistant to change. Even now with the world transformed and new, people in Hawkins insisted on keeping the old ways working. Farmers used tractors with gas powered engines to till the fields. The registers at the stores in town still took cash payments. The trees were still grown from seed and root, to the tips of the leaves that fluttered in the wind. The citizens worked hard to keep it that way, steeped deeply in the comforts of old ways. Of course there were bits and pieces of the future that wriggled their way in through the cracks. Electric vehicles lining concrete streets. No one could deny the certain entertainment value of the progressing television technology. But all in all, it was a good mix. New and old, living in a sort of harmony.
On the edge of town was where the lab was built. The original plan had been to make Hawkins a hub, a home base for the company where they could expand their tendrils of futuristic gains into the world. The backlash had been horrible. The population of the town had banded together, buying out the deeds to every outlying property they could and refusing to allow the company to infiltrate their home. After years of trials, protests, and news stories, Vecna Inc. decided to take the route of malicious compliance. They would not build in Hawkins, however the owners started construction as close to the property lines of Hawkins as they were legally allowed. Something about the nearly untouched, untainted land was perfect for the many plans that they had for the future. Ways to bring back the natural beauty to the world. Of course, it was all at a price. The citizens of Hawkins resented the cost of beauty being sold to the highest bidder, science and technology always pushing the limits of more and what should be. It was an eyesore; a big round white monstrosity of a building. High tech gadgets flew around, satellites and drones. The lawn surrounding it was plastic and fake. But it made its home there anyway, despite what the people around thought, and with it brought the lab techs, the engineers, the doctors, the programmers. It brought the bright minds that the Creel family poached from every other company, the people that created its monopoly across the world.
The lab was also home to a high tech medical center, a place where the most innovative and wild techniques were attempted on willing members of society. Test subjects that offered their bodies to science in the dying hope that they could make the world a better place. The rooms were paid for with the uncertainty that they might not see the outside of them again. Medical trials and experimental surgeries were the name of the game with Vecna. But then again, what is truly the cost of progress?
Inside of a stark white room there were clear screens that had glowing vitals bouncing up and down, monitoring a man laying in one of the beds inside the medical center. People walked past the door of the room without a second look into it, a sign that the man had been in this stable condition for longer than human empathy lasted. An alarm on a monitor in the nursing station alerted the workers every two hours to reposition him and safety check to make sure the machines that were on a constant loop continued to feed his body with whatever it needed to stay alive. Then they would leave, no words or second thoughts.
There were no windows, but a screen was stretched across a wall that gave off naturally healing UV rays and it lit up his features. Behind the tubes and needles that made him seem like some sort of rooted plant, there was a certain beauty. Pale skin but with warm olive tones shining through. He sat like a statue, his chestnut hair curled around his face unmoving. The hovering line of information that glowed above his head listed his name and stats as if he was a character to be chosen in some sort of game.
Steven Harrington.
- Aged 32.
- 5”10, Caucasian.
- Eyes: Brown
- Hair: Brown.
- Weight: 73 kg.
- Allergies: Penicillin, dust, pineapple.
All the little things that were supposed to make up what a person is levelled down to be in one quick glance. White noise played through a speaker in the corner of the room for a calming ambience.
A bird sang over the sound of trickling water.
Laughter rang out in the hallway between co-workers.
A subtle alarm started to play a constant tone from one of the vital machines.
The fabric of the blankets sighed against itself as a hand twitched.
His eyes opened.
Steve Harrington was awake.
–
“So you don’t feel any pain at all?” A sweet looking woman with large motherly eyes looked into Steve’s eyes with a pen light, checking the dilation of his pupils. His eyelids fluttered and he squinted.
“No, I feel fine. Physically… I mean.” He trailed off. The woman put the light down with a sympathetic expression.
“Well, the good news is that the treatments worked, you’re healthy as a horse. All of your reflexes are perfect. It’s incredible, considering what happened.” She nodded her head down at her notes which were appearing on her tablet as she spoke, the electronic taking in her every word. “Side note, dilation seems normal, suggesting regular brain function.” The words highlighted in a different colour at the demand. Steve tilted his head. It was amazing the little ways that technology worked. He looked up at her questioningly.
“What exactly happened to me again?” Steve asked carefully and the woman bit her lip.
“Ah, well. It was an accident in the lab. At least that’s what they told me. I guess you were working with some really unstable chemicals. Experimental stuff. You were over in Section U.D. so it’s pretty classified stuff…” She looked curious and looked over her shoulder before looking back at him. “I mean… Do you remember anything? Like what you were working on?” Her voice was a low whisper as if there weren't computers and devices listening to their every word. He smiled sadly.
“No… Nothing. Like I said… I didn’t even know my own name until they told me.” He looked over at the information that still hung over the bed. She nodded and pressed her lips together in pity.
“Right… I remember you walking through the halls before though. You seemed pretty nice.” She said, likely hoping to provide comfort. Steve didn’t care though. He didn’t care if he was nice, or mean, or smart. He didn’t care about anything. It was hard when you didn’t know anything at all to really compare it to. He just was. She sighed and patted his knee gently.
“Sorry. I don’t really know what to… The doctor is going to be back soon, alright?” The nurse smiled and turned around, walking out the open door. Steve sighed, leaning back on the bed and running a hand through his hair. Since he had woken up it had been an endless stream of medical professionals through his room running different tests and taking different scans. He felt exhausted by the questions, not really sure what the right answers were.
When Steve had opened his eyes, his mind was blank. He knew he was there, he was existing. He knew he had a body and that it moved when he wanted it to. He could see that he was in a white room and knew enough to assume it was in a hospital. But all the things that would make him who he was were gone. He couldn’t remember his name, nor his age. He didn’t know where he was from or how he got there. He was a blank save file in the shape of a man. It should have been troubling. He should be losing his mind or whatever was left of it. But the IV’s were pumping calming mixtures into his veins and everything just seemed to be fine. By the way that everyone was talking to him, so benign, so sweet, he believed that maybe it was. Now that he was alone again, the dizzy sway of the drugs was causing the world to rock just a little. Just enough to make him want to lay back down and ease back into sleep. Maybe this had all just been some strange dream.
“Mr. Harrington. Glad to see you awake.” Steve opened his eyes, slightly annoyed. He straightened back up into a sitting position on the bed to see a man wearing a proper looking white suit with a lab coat over top. He was a thin looking gentleman with greying hair and lines etched into his face. His eyes were large and cheekbones sharp. Steve smiled thinly.
“Sure. I’m up. Sorry I slept in.” He joked and the man smiled.
“Back to your old self, I see. Didn’t take long.” The man smiled in a way that didn't quite reach his eyes and Steve nodded gently.
“If you say so. What kind of tests are we doing now?” He asked, adjusting himself and pushing the sleeves of his white hospital gown away from his elbows, making room for any needles or scans. The man put a hand out in front of him, waving Steve off.
“No, no. No more of that today. I’m just here to talk.” He said before dragging over a rolling stool from close to where he was standing. He placed it in front of Steve and looked at him, friendly and calm. “Do you have any questions so far about what’s been happening?” Steve stared at him. He was sure there were questions he should be asking, but he didn't quite know where to start.
“Uh… Right… Well… I mean, who-...” ‘Who am I’ seemed too broad of a question. He knew he was Steve Harrington. It was right there on the charting. Steve took a breath. “Where’s my family?” He asked, changing the course of thought. It was strange that no one had come to visit him since he had awoken. The man pressed his lips together tightly. Steve frowned. That wasn’t a good sign.
“You don’t have any family. At least not close. There’s an aunt in Chicago. She was notified and she is happy you’re awake. She won’t be able to make it out any time soon though.” He explained. Steve rubbed at his chin.
“No siblings?”
“Only child.”
“My parents?”
“Passed away in 2059 and 2066.” The man was quick on the information, as if he had studied for this moment. Steve sighed.
“Alright… Well, did I have someone that I was seeing?”
“As far as I know, you were married to your work. Would you like to know about that?” The man was clearly changing the subject, guiding it toward what he really wanted to talk about. Steve furrowed his brow, dropping his hand from where it had been resting near his elbow.
“Sure. You want to know if I remember the accident.”
“Do you?”
“No. Not a bit.” Steve looked around the room. “Everything before this… All of it. Just nothing. There’s nothing there.” He whispered the last sentence. The man watched him for a moment before leaning back.
“I’m sorry, Steven. You know, we had a fair few conversations in the past. You’re a very good man. Very driven. Great with your hands, quite the artist.” He said thoughtfully. “Your accident was very severe. Much of your body was considered unsalvageable. Luckily, when you signed on with Vecna, you signed a waiver allowing us to do whatever medical interventions we were able in order to save you, no matter how… experimental.” The man was distracted by a message coming in on his watch and he looked at the screen. His expression softened.
“Perfect. Well, Steve, it looks like we have a place for you to stay during your recovery.” He said pleasantly. The tone had something underneath it. As if something about the revelation was important. Steve made a face.
“Did I not have an apartment or something?” He asked and the man smacked his lips.
“Well, you’ve been unconscious for months. Nearly a year. As we were unsure that you were going to wake up, we offered your dorm to other workers that we brought on.” He explained and waved his hand. “Besides, due to the nature of your surgeries and recovery, we need to keep a close eye on you. The man you’ll be staying with is the best in his field. A doctor of sorts. He’ll be able to help you along with your recovery better than you would be able to alone or here in the medical center.” Steve watched him explain, feeling too tired to really argue. If they wanted to put him in a box he’d agree at this point. He just wanted to go back to sleep. He shut his eyes and hummed.
“Mm. Alright. When do I go?” He asked, voice thick with exhaustion. The man stood up.
“Tomorrow will be fine. We’ll get you a transport in the morning. You seem tired. Lay down, relax. I’ll see you again, I’m sure.” The man walked toward the door and Steve waved lazily. He laid back down onto the pillow, and it was easy to fall back into dreamless slumber, nothingness becoming a comfort once again.
–
Steve awoke the next morning to a nurse placing new clothes in his room. He had changed into them quickly, looking himself up and down and smoothing out the fabric. They were made of thin white material, breathable like sportswear. Just a long sleeved shirt and track looking pants with the Vecna Inc. logo small in the corner. Steve felt uncomfortable with the way that the clothes clung to him, tight and sleek. There was a pair of white runners as well and the whole outfit made him feel uncomfortably clean. Like he was part of the furniture, the whole medical center being white and fresh just like him. Soon after he had finished dressing himself he heard someone enter the room. He looked up to see a woman with strawberry blonde hair and freckles standing in the doorway. She stopped in her tracks, staring at him with wide watery eyes. He cleared his throat.
“Oh, hello. Are you… Woah, are you okay?” He became concerned when tears started to spill over her cheeks quickly. The woman nodded, wiping at her face furiously.
“Shit.” She cursed and turned away, whispering to herself and using her sleeve to clean up the tears. She coughed and took a deep breath, straightening back up. “Hey, yes. Sorry. Allergies.”
“...Sorry?” Steve said awkwardly at the half assed excuse. She adjusted her jacket and plastered a fake smile on her face.
“You don’t have to be. I’m Robin. Robin Buckley. I’m here to escort you to where you’re going to be staying. You look… You look like you’re doing well. Any pain?” She asked the same question that Steve had heard over and over. There was something about her that he couldn’t quite place, but he tried to ignore it. Something about the way she held herself, about the tears, told Steve that they had possibly known each other before. Robin had clearly been advised about Steve’s amnesia. Likely she was holding back for both of their sakes. It was probably painful for someone to lose a person who was still standing right in front of them. Instead of bringing anything like that up, Steve just shook his head.
“No. I feel great. Had a good sleep too. When are we going?” He asked and Robin gave him a trembling smile.
“Right… Right now. Come on. I’ll take you to the car.” She sniffed and walked out the door. Steve looked around the room. It felt odd, not to have anything to take with him. No belongings. Just off to another strange place. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and following, walking quickly to catch up.
The halls of the lab were all white and blank unless they were covered by a wide screen of supplemental UV rays. Something that was supposed to encourage elevated moods and worker production. They all looked the same. Serious looking people walked swiftly past them in lab coats and carried with them different types of tests on lit up screens. They were all ensconced in their work. Robin stopped in a hallway that looked to Steve like it was empty, but as she put her palm on a space on the wall, an elevator door slid open quickly. Steve blinked.
“Woah.” He said softly and Robin chuckled.
“Yeah, kind of unnecessary. I don’t know why people think that the next step in technology is to make it invisible. But I guess some decorator thought the doors were an eyesore.” She guided him into the space and pressed a button to take them down to the ground floor. Steve looked around the silvery space.
“Maybe… Maybe they just wanted to eliminate all thoughts of leaving work. Out of sight out of mind.” Steve mused and Robin turned her head and tilted it slightly. Her lips quirked into a little smile.
“Hm. You… You sound like someone I know.” She whispered softly and Steve glanced at her before looking away and swallowing. Maybe he hadn’t lost everything that had been Steve Harrington. He just wished he knew what all that was.
The elevator made a soft dinging noise and the door opened once again. Robin sniffed and walked out, Steve following behind. They walked through a large lobby that was eerily empty minus one receptionist at a desk. The space was large and minimalist, white just like the rest of the building. There were tall windows reaching up high and touching the ceiling, but they were frosted. Robin waved to the girl at the desk and she nodded back, reaching and pressing a button that in turn opened the front door. As the two of them exited the building, Steve wrinkled his nose. The landscape was all fake grass and flowers, concrete steps and perfectly manicured space. He looked up to the sky. It was a minty green today, the clouds in an overcast dulling the colour of deep smog that had risen to taint the ozone.
“Yuck…” He whispered and Robin snorted.
“Yeah. It’s pretty weird. We don’t usually go outside much though so it’s not… Well you said it before. Out of sight-”
“Out of mind. Right.” Steve finished for her and looked around. There was a sleek looking electric vehicle parked at the edge of the curb and Robin called to it.
"Open driver and passenger doors." She said firmly and the doors slid up into the roof of the car. Steve raised his eyebrows.
"Pretty slick. Is it yours?" He asked and she shook her head.
"Actually, it was yours. Or is, I guess I should say." She smiled and gestured for him to get in. Steve slid his hand over the exterior as he walked around the car, getting into the passenger seat. Robin smiled. "You don't want the driver's spot?" She asked and he shrugged.
"I don't know the way."
"Well, you don't have to." She slipped into the driver's seat and the doors slid back down, encasing them inside the vehicle. Robin looked at the dash and spoke clearly "1690 Cornwallis Crescent. " The car lit up and a gentle hum was the only indication that the engine had started. Steve felt a small jolt and they were on their way, the car moving of its own accord down the asphalt and away from the lab.
Steve watched out the window as the road took them further away and past an electric fence into the real world where the leaves on the trees were dry and rotted. The roads had cracks from where the roots underneath had pushed the earth up as if rejecting the man-made pathway. Steve liked it somehow. At least it looked real, it looked flawed. It looked alive. Steve wondered if his mind had always worked like this. Resentful of how the world had become so plastic. As they meandered through the country roads and fields, farms started to become more frequent and Steve could see the landscape coming to life. Men were working in the fields, cows were grazing out in the distance within large greenhouse looking structures to protect them from the sun. It was rare to see livestock animals these days and Steve felt pleased to witness it. Robin sighed beside him, watching as he surveyed the scenery.
"So… This is Hawkins. Pretty nice, hey?" She said softly and Steve nodded.
"It looks stuck in the past." Steve stated bluntly. Not that he didn't enjoy that it was. Robin laughed.
"Yeah, people around here are pretty fixed in their ways. No one was really happy when Vecna showed up. But Creel insisted. I heard he grew up around here." Robin made gentle conversation and Steve hummed.
"Mm. Sure. That's the lab, right? Vecna?" He asked and Robin nodded. Steve broke his gaze from the window and turned to her. "What is your job? At Vecna I mean?" He pressed and Robin took a breath.
"Well, I'm in the tech section. I do programming, code. Language stuff. It's interesting and I always had a knack for it." She seemed comfortable talking about it and Steve waited a moment before taking the conversation a step into decidedly more treacherous territory.
"So I must have worked in tech too. Since you seem to know me." He said nonchalantly and she froze. Her cheeks flushed and it was quiet.
"... No. I don't know you." She said softly and the car took a turn up a gravel driveway, stating in a sweet robotic voice that they had reached their destination. Steve sat back in the seat, looking up at an older house with a small deck and a shed behind it. The building was surrounded with greenery; backed into trees and forest as far as you could see into it. There was a clothesline in the yard, a few old t-shirts strung from it and fluttering in the wind. Steve ran a hand through his hair.
"Sorry. Just assumed. Seems weird that they would send a programmer to escort me instead of a medical professional. Thought we must have been close. That and the fact that you're driving my car." His voice was calm and collected, calling the lie without calling her a liar. Robin bit her lip.
"Well… We were… Just co-workers." She said awkwardly before pressing a button on the door, causing it to slide up again and stepping hurriedly out of the car. She straightened her clothes nervously and started toward the front door of the house. "Come on. We're here." She called over her shoulder. Steve watched curiously. He wondered why she wouldn't say how they knew each other. Maybe he had scorned her in his past life in some way. Maybe they had dated. He sighed and stepped out of the car.
Steve came up behind the woman and stood at the door, waiting for whoever he was supposed to meet to show their face. Robin knocked on the door and stepped back. There was some shuffling behind the wood and the sound of locks being slid out of place. The knob turned and a man appeared. He was about Steve’s height but that's where the similarities ended. Long dark curly hair dangled down over his shoulders, frizzed and in disarray. His eyes were dark and deep set; red rimmed as if he had been up for days. The shirt he was wearing was worn and wrinkled, some faded logo on the front. There were tattoos peeking out from under where the sleeves stopped above his elbows and they travelled down his forearm. He looked at Steve darkly, peering at him for a long moment. Suddenly, the door slammed shut and Steve jolted back from the surprise. Robin squeaked and jumped, pounding on the door once again.
"H-hey!! Eddie, open up!! Don't do this!" Robin slammed her fist on the door. She paused, looking at Steve with a nervous smile. “Uh… Just… Give me a second here.” She turned the door knob and made a face while she put her weight into the door, heaving her shoulder into it and forcing it open. Steve could hear the man yelp behind the door and Robin rushed it, the wood slamming behind her. Steve stood there, staring at it and glancing around. After a moment he got curious, pressing his ear to the door.
“No, Robin, I can’t do it. I can’t! I won’t.”
“Eddie, you have to! Please, for me. We need you. I… I need you. I need you to do this.” Steve leaned back, suddenly feeling like he had intruded on something. The tone of her voice was sad and full of emotion. He wondered if maybe it was some sort of lovers quarrel. Maybe they were the ones that were involved? After another few seconds the door opened again. Eddie was standing there, pinching the bridge of his nose and avoiding looking at Steve.
“Come in.” He gritted out and Steve tilted his head.
“Are you sure you want me to?” He asked and Eddie glanced up to him.
“I told you to come in. Let’s go. Jesus.” He moved away from the door and into the house, leaving Robin and Steve standing there. Steve looked at the woman whose arms were crossed; expression sullen.
“He’s… Not usually like this. Sorry.” She mumbled and Steve shrugged.
“First impressions aren’t always right.” He said with a small smile. She snorted.
“Well, I’m glad you feel that way.” Robin smiled back, albeit a bit awkwardly. She gestured to where Eddie had disappeared to. "Meet Edward Munson, I guess."
“Hey. Kitchen. Let’s go.” Eddie called from the other room and Steve looked at Robin with an eyebrow raised. She giggled softly and the two of them moved into the kitchen where Eddie was lighting a cigarette off of an old gas stove. He stood up straight, taking such a long drag to the point that Steve had to wonder how many years he had been smoking. It was kind of impressive. Eddie blew the smoke out into the air and turned to grab a whiskey bottle, taking a swig of it to wash away the nicotine. Steve nodded, pressing his lips together and crossing his arms.
“Wow. Very professional. I can tell I’m in capable hands.” He teased. Eddie paused and swallowed the large gulp, slamming the bottle onto the counter.
“Sit.” He demanded, waving at the chairs around the table. Robin sighed, starting to say something, but Steve interrupted before she could get it out.
“Is the word ‘please’ in your vocabulary?” He asked, tilted his hip to the side. Eddie cocked his head.
“... I said, sit.”
“No. I’m good. Thanks.” Steve said, staring at the man. Eddie looked to Robin who was looking between the two confusedly. Eddie stepped forward, putting his hands together like a prayer.
“Okay. Listen carefully. Stop. Talking…” He opened his hands and pointed to the chair, “And sit the fuck down.” He finished, talking slowly as if to a child. Steve frowned.
“You’re being pretty rude. I just got here, I mean… If we’re supposed to be living together maybe we should try to be nice? I’m willing to start over.” Steve said evenly before moving forward and offering out his hand. “Hi, I’m Steve Harrington. Nice to meet you.” Eddie stared down at it before looking at Robin inquisitively.
“What the fuck is this?” He said quietly and Robin shrugged and waved her hand between the two of them.
“Well he’s not wrong.” She said lightly and Eddie looked back at Steve. He narrowed his eyes.
“Look. I’m not being paid to be nice to you. This isn’t some high school sleepover. You listen to me, we’ll be fine.” He took another puff of the cigarette before flicking it into the sink that was full of dishes. The flaming ash sizzled in the water and Eddie turned on his heel. “I’m going to my workshop. Your room is down the hall. Don’t bug me.” He grumbled. Eddie headed out the back door and walked through the yard toward the shed before the door slammed behind him. Steve and Robin stood there, looking at the door for a while before looking at each other.
“Well… He’s a treat.” Steve muttered and Robin sighed.
“I’m really sorry… He’s been a bit… moody lately. He… Well, he wasn’t always like this.” She finished lamely. He watched as she wrung her hands together, sadness in her eyes. Steve bit his lip and looked around.
“It’s not your fault. I mean, it’s not that bad. Homey. I’ll be fine.” He nodded to himself and Robin smiled.
“Always looking on the bright side.”
“Am I? Did I used to?” He asked vaguely as he walked over to the sink, sniffing it and recoiling. “Yech.” Robin shifted her weight.
“Yeah… You did.” She whispered before clearing her throat. “Alright, I have to go. I’ll check in on you in a few days. Trust me, he’ll soften up a bit. He’s really a sweet guy.” She assured Steve and he turned to her.
“Sure. Thank you, I appreciate the ride…” He looked at her and it seemed as if she was waiting for something else. Something inside him stirred. Steve walked forward and slowly wrapped his arms around her, squeezing lightly. “Is this okay? You look like you need it.” He said into her ear. Robin was stiff for a second before melting and embracing him in return.
“Yeah… Yeah I really did. Thanks, Steve.” She said with such familiarity that something burned in Steve’s temple, like a memory trying to escape. He pushed his head into hers to try to chase it, but the feeling faded and he was left standing in the embrace. After what seemed like a long time but not nearly long enough, Robin pulled away. She sniffled slightly, her eyes looking watery again.
“Well… Goodbye for now.” She huffed and Steve laughed softly.
“Yeah, for now. Wish me luck…” He glanced at the back door. “I think I’m gonna need it.”
–
Steve woke early the next morning. It was a long night, Eddie had locked himself in the shed that he called his workshop for hours, not returning until the wee hours of the morning. Steve heard the door slam and the sound of glass falling into a recycling bin. He assumed that if he was drinking out of whiskey bottles in the kitchen, he was probably doing it everywhere. He listened for the dull shuffle of a drunk making their way down the hall until he heard the noise stop in front of his door.
The room he had found was plain and empty, only containing a dresser and a bed. Steve laid on the bed in the white attire given to him at the hospital and closed his eyes tightly as the door opened slowly. Just a little, but enough to shine the light in from the hallway. He lay perfectly still there, pretending to be asleep and waiting for Eddie to finally shut the door. When he did, he left a heavy sigh in his wake. Steve had thought that maybe they had fought before and Eddie was still sore, despite the fact that he knew Steve couldn’t remember a thing.
When he woke the sun was only just rising and Steve didn’t feel like he had managed to fully charge his internal battery, but he couldn’t sleep anymore. He tiptoed out of the room and walked down the hall, intent on returning the favour that Eddie had paid him the night before. The thing was though, that when Steve peered into the room that he had assumed was Eddie’s the bed was empty and a mess. Steve tsked, disappointed and scorned. The man was already back in his workshop.
Steve instead decided to make some coffee and explore the property. The area was green and wooded, and it was definitely alluring. Something about the idea of real nature has a draw that couldn’t be beaten, especially after waking up in that sterile minimalism that they had called a medical center. Steve navigated the kitchen as best as he could, searching the cupboards for coffee and filters. He eventually managed to stumble through putting the automatic coffee machine together and rinsing out the pot that looked like it had been housing the previous brew for months. Steve stood against the counter, pleased with himself and watched it percolate before pouring himself a cup and heading outside.
The air was warm; August was pleasant during the morning hours in Hawkins it seemed. Just before it got too hot to manage outside for very long, beyond a person’s limits. Steve closed his eyes and smiled as the breeze ran through his hair and tickled his skin. When Steve walked past the workshop he could hear the dulled thrum of heavy music screaming out, loud and angry. Steve stared at the doors for a moment before smiling and shaking his head. He walked into the trees and followed a little wire fence that ran around the edge of where the property line was. He touched the leaves softly as he passed, the feeling leaving a tingle on the tips of his fingers. Hands trailed across bark and as he approached the house once again after a long slow journey around the edge, he touched a particularly odd tree that was leaking sticky sap steadily down its rough edges. Steve brought his fingers close to his face to look, eyebrows knitted together and watched carefully at the webs of sap stretched between the skin as he pulled his fingers apart.
“What are you doing?” A gruff voice brought Steve out of his trance and he looked up at the patio. Eddie was standing there, seemingly having had a shower. He must have finally come out of the workshop and Steve wondered how long his walk had taken. He dropped his hand.
“I was taking a walk. Is that allowed?” Steve asked cheekily and Eddie shrugged.
“It’s fine. Why did you make coffee?” Eddie called out. Steve noticed the mug in his hand, adorned with a picture of an orange cartoon cat. Steve felt a little bit victorious.
“I like coffee. I wanted it.” He answered, walking toward Eddie. Eddie didn’t answer this time, instead pulling a small device from his pocket and speaking into it quietly. He started to turn to go back inside and Steve felt a hint of desperation hit. He didn’t want Eddie to walk away just yet. If they were going to be living together, then it was important that they clear the air. Steve called out after him. “You like it too, though! Am I right? You drink it black?” Steve paused after he said the last sentence. Why did he say that? But it worked. Eddie stopped in his tracks and turned to look back at Steve, suspicion etched into his expression.
“... I do. That’s right.” He said slowly. Silence fell between them and Steve jiggled his leg anxiously.
“Did we… Did I do something to you before my accident?” Steve blurted. Eddie tilted his head.
“... No. I barely knew you.” He said softly. With that, he fully turned and walked into the house. Steve cursed and brought his clenched fist to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Dumb.” Steve told himself. He heard the door swing again.
“Hey, if you like coffee so much, how come you didn't drink any?” Eddie called out. Steve looked up at the man who looked smug.
“Of course I…” Steve turned his eyes down to the mug that he had been holding for the duration of his walk. It was still full of cold dark brown liquid. He stared at it, thinking hard. Hadn’t he been drinking it? He started to bring the porcelain of the mug to his lips and stopped. Something inside him stopped the movement. He looked back over his shoulder cautiously, not wanting to look at Eddie’s smug face, but when he fully turned he realised that the man was already gone again. Steve heaved a heavy sigh and looked back out toward the gravel driveway. He stretched his arm out in front of him and turned the mug, listening as the coffee splashed onto the ground; seeping into the earth as the dry dust swallowed it whole.
–
Steve sat at the kitchen table the next day, jiggling his leg and staring at the different things in the room around him. He was starting to get antsy and bored. After the incident with the coffee the day prior, Eddie had left him to his own devices, hiding away in the workshop most of the day only to cross paths with Steve one more time when he came back to the kitchen to refill his mug. It was half coffee, half whiskey. He had a cigarette dangling off of his lip and refused to even look at the man he was supposed to be taking care of. Once Steve had settled into bed once again, he heard the now familiar sound of Eddie’s heavy steps walking up to his door. The telltale light of the hallway lit a small spotlight on the wall and after a moment he was gone again.
Steve sat at the table now wondering what it meant. If Eddie really seemed to hate Steve that much, why did he bother checking that he got to bed? Steve had hoped to mull it over in the shower when he awoke but when he checked the tub it was caked with mildew and grime. Steve had choked a little, covering his mouth. It was par to the course for the entire house. Everything seemed to have a thin layer of dust, the dishes were still piled in the sink, and there were little bits of garbage and clothes everywhere. From what Steve could tell, Eddie had been living strictly on a diet of canned ravioli, whiskey and cigarettes for at least a few months. Steve couldn’t stop thinking about it now. Robin had said that he wasn’t always like this. He wondered what had happened to change him. As he sat there, the back door swung open and Eddie came stumbling into the kitchen looking a little worse for wear. He was holding the small device that he had with him the day before in one hand and a new bottle of amber alcohol in the other.
“Alllll-righty. Let’s get this over with.” He slurred and Steve looked at him with concern. He glanced at a clock that hung on the wall before looking back to Eddie who slumped into the chair beside him.
“It’s seven a.m. Are you seriously wasted right now?” He asked incredulously and Eddie grinned, throwing his hands in the air as if presenting himself for an award.
“You caught me! I mean, if you don’t sleep then it’s never too early to drink.”
“I don’t think that’s right…” Steve muttered and Eddie tutted, waving him off.
“Whatever.” He raised the small device to his mouth in order to speak into it. “Day one of observation for case 91110-”
“Well, it’s day three now. Actually.” Steve interrupted. Eddie rolled his eyes and lowered the device.
“I wasn’t talking to you. Shush.” He whispered drunkenly and put the bottle on the table before bringing a finger to his lips. Steve flushed and pressed his lips into a thin line, crossing his arms. Eddie’s eyes widened and he tilted his head. He leaned in a little, looking into Steve’s eyes before flickering over his features gently. It was as if he had seen something important but he couldn’t quite grasp it. After a second he seemed to come to his senses. “Fuck… Bah!” He shook his head wildly and smacked his own cheek suddenly, causing Steve to jump.
“What the hell are you doing?!” Steve exclaimed and Eddie closed his eyes and waved him off once again.
“Shh, shh. It’s fine. Here we go. Day three of observation.” Eddie started the recording over. He leaned back in his chair, tilting his head back so that his curls fell over towards the floor. He held up the device over his head looking like a rock and roll musician belting into a microphone. "Are you feeling any pain or other odd bodily sensations today?" He moved his hand quickly so that the recorder was now in front of Steve. He looked at it oddly. So it was some sort of interview. Steve cleared his throat and leaned forward to talk into Eddie’s hand.
"Uh… No. No pain or weirdness." He answered and Eddie pulled his hand back.
"Subject has also not shown any physical signs that his body may be experiencing pain that may not be relaying to brain function. Movements appear normal." He followed up, slurring the words slightly. He tilted his head up straight once again to look at Steve. "Are you experiencing any problems with memory functions as of the past few days?" Steve snorted.
"Well, yeah, I don't remember who I am or what I did or my childhood or-"
"No, no, no. Besides that. I mean like, do you remember what you did yesterday morning." Eddie shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Where did I put that booze, Jeez…" he muttered and Steve narrowed his eyes.
"Well you should have been more specific… No problems with memory in the past few days, no. I went for a walk yesterday morning. I… I got sap on my fingers." He said awkwardly as if trying to prove his point. Eddie took a deep breath, finding the bottle of alcohol once again and whispering a soft exclamation of happiness before bringing it to his lips and taking another drink. Steve wrinkled his nose. "Dude, slow down. I can hear your liver screaming from here." He said sternly and Eddie opened one eye at him.
"Why do you care? I'm fine.” Eddie stood up from the chair, wobbling and twirling his finger. “I need to check the back of your head.” Steve lifted a hand to touch his hair, looking at Eddie with concern.
“What? Do I have a bald spot or something??” Steve asked nervously and Eddie laughed.
“Ha! Wouldn’t that be fucking hilarious?” He snickered and walked around behind Steve, roughly pushing his head forward to his chest. “No. Just have to make sure everything is… healing.” He said oddly. Steve felt Eddie’s fingers sliding up into his scalp, brushing away the hair and parting it. His other hand reached in front of Steve, tabling the bottle once again so that he could steady himself on Steve’s shoulder. Steve looked at it through the corner of his eye. Eddie’s fingers were long, thin, and covered with rings. The way that his thumb pressed into Steve’s skin made him anxious somehow. The feeling in his temple was back, the one he had felt when he had hugged Robin. He closed his eyes, trying to pull on the string of thought but he already knew it was fading. Eddie’s fingers slid over his head again, down the center and to the base of his skull. Steve shivered.
“Feels nice…” He whispered and Eddie inhaled sharply. He lifted his hand away, leaving Steve feeling embarrassed.
“Alright, next question, how are you sleeping at night?" He asked and Steve sighed.
"Fine. I don't wake up til the morning." He answered. After a second he cocked his head. "What about you? How do you sleep? You're always in the workshop, are you getting enough rest?" Steve returned, looking over his shoulder. Eddie blinked at him.
"...What?" He said quietly and Steve scoffed.
"Are you that wasted? How. Do. You. Sleep?" Steve said slowly, tapping his finger on the table as he said each word. Eddie knitted his eyebrows together.
"No, I… I heard what you said. I… I sleep fine. I sleep enough." His voice was soft, more gentle than Steve had heard it. Steve took a deep breath and leaned back.
"I don't think you do. What's the next question?" Steve asked. He felt Eddie’s hand fall away from his shoulder.
“I… I think that’s fine for now.” Eddie murmured before walking back in front of Steve and grabbing the bottle again. Steve hummed and drummed his fingers on the table.
“Can I ask you some questions then?” He wanted Eddie to stick around, maybe not retreat back into the cave he had created so soon. Eddie looked back at Steve curiously.
“Why do you want to do that?” He asked slowly and Steve snorted, shrugging.
“I dunno, to get to know you better?” The point seemed obvious to him but Eddie still seemed suspicious. He looked down at the device in his hand before holding it out.
“Sure. Go ahead then.” Eddie nodded at the other man and Steve leaned forward, crossing his arms.
“Why do you live out here instead of at Vecna like everybody else?” Steve had been thinking about that for a while. Eddie tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.
“How do you know that everybody does?” He returned with a volley and Steve furrowed his brow.
“I guess… I just assumed. That’s how those kinds of places work, right? They keep everyone there, feed them, house them. Then they never really have to stop working.” Steve said the words, unsure what the feeling was behind them. Resentment perhaps. Eddie was chewing on the inside of his cheek while he listened and sucked the air between his teeth.
“Well, you’re not wrong. I’m not the only one that lives off site. People still have free will. Most days.” He said sarcastically and Steve nodded. Eddie sighed and scrubbed his eyes. “I just like it out here, okay? This house belonged to a family that I knew. When they left, I took over. Good enough?” He explained and Steve sniffed.
“Yeah, I guess.” Eddie pressed his lips together and nodded.
“Great, can I go now?” He said brightly and Steve scoffed.
“Whatever, go.” He waved the man off and Eddie turned to open the door. Steve looked around the kitchen. “I guess it makes sense why you don’t take care of the place then, it was free…” He mumbled half to himself and Eddie froze.
“Hey, hold on. I fucking love this place.” He swirled around and Steve put his hands up in surrender.
“Woah, sorry! I just mean… Well look at the sink…” Steve pointed with his chin and Eddie followed his gaze before flushing a deep red.
“I… I’ve just been busy…” He muttered before looking back at Steve. “Why does it matter to you, it’s not your house.” He spat and Steve shrugged.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to strike a nerve there.” He said with honesty and Eddie stared at him for a moment before slamming the door open.
“Right. Good talk.” Eddie shut the door after himself with such force that the kitchen windows rattled. Steve winced and sat in silence after him for a moment before letting out a breath that he didn’t realise he had been holding. The man was a whirlwind of emotions and the alcohol didn’t seem to help that. Steve placed a hand on the table, tapping the surface lightly. Despite the way he acted, the anger that fronted his personality, Steve couldn’t help but kind of like him. In the moments that Steve managed to surprise him, Eddie’s true colours tended to pop through, gentle edges and a small voice. Almost like a stray cat that Steve was coaxing to come closer. He glanced back at the sink and frowned. Maybe there was another way to crack the code that was Eddie Munson aside from questions and time.
Part Two:
Kick
Steve woke early the next day, ready to tackle his project. After the conversation that he had with Eddie the day prior, he had spent the night trying to think of ways to get the man to open up to him. He was left alone in the house for much of the day yet again and he wandered around, trying to get a better sense of who the man was. The place was strangely empty. In a way that looked like it had been decorated at one point but now had gaping holes where the memories would be. Steve avoided going into Eddie’s room. He was sure that invading the man’s privacy like that would definitely not be the key to him opening up a little. Steve just wanted to be able to live in the same house together. He had opened the cupboards and drawers, eventually finding a small collection of cleaning supplies. He smiled and set it to the side, looking around and realising what he was going to do.
Now he stood in the kitchen, just past dawn. He was wearing some of the clothes that he had found in the dresser that was left in the room he stayed in. A simple t-shirt, some baggy sweats, thin white socks as well as a black bandana that held his hair out of his face. Eddie was already in the workshop. If Steve didn’t have his nightly visit from the hall, he may have thought he had been there all night. The man sighed, staring down at the old dishwater in the sink, cigarette butts and old bits of food floating around at the top. Steve pulled a face of disgust.
“Yuck. You'd better give me the time of day after this, butthead.” He spoke to himself and pulled on some rubber gloves, sinking his hands into the greyish water and searching for the drain. It took some time and a strong stomach to get through the pile but once it was done Steve felt accomplished. He moved on to the countertops next, then to the cupboards. After a few hours, the kitchen actually looked ready to use. Steve smiled to himself and wiped at his forehead. It was kind of nice to finally have something to do for a change. He looked around, focusing on the coffee machine. There was still some coffee and filters left and Steve thought to himself that it might help the other man sober up before they ended up having to do another interview. He set the machine up carefully, grinning to himself once it started to bubble.
Remembering a small pad of paper that he had found under the many empty cans of pre-made ravioli, he snagged a pencil and wrote a quick note for the other man, leaving it by the coffee pot before he gathered the cleaning supplies and moved to the bathroom.
Steve was elbow deep in scrubbing the soap scum off of the sides of the shower walls when he heard stomping footsteps approach, halting at the door. Steve threw the sponge he had in his hand into the tub, leaning back from where he was hunched over on his knees in order to turn and look at Eddie. He was holding the note that Steve had written, looking between the loops and curls of Steve’s handwriting and then to Steve himself.
“What is this?” He hissed and Steve tilted his head.
“Oh, sorry, do you not know how to read?” Steve’s voice was sweet like an angel. Eddie scowled at him.
“Of course I can fucking read…” Eddie muttered before really looking at what Steve was doing. “You’ve been busy.” He stated. Steve smiled broadly and held his arms out.
“You like it?” He asked eagerly and Eddie stared down at him. Steve watched as the barest hint of a smile tugged at the edge of his mouth. Steve whooped and pointed at him. “Hey! I saw that! You like it!” He said excitedly and Eddie waved his arms in the air.
“Woah, woah, woah. Relax Mary Poppins. I’m more concerned with why you’ve decided to clean the place.” Eddie squawked and Steve put his hands on his hips.
“I mean… Look around. You can’t possibly enjoy living in squalor. Just thought I’d make it livable for both of us. Plus, you look like you need to be watched more than I do.” Steve said with a gentle tease at the edge of his tone. Eddie tapped at his hip. He looked deep in thought.
“But… I didn’t ask you to do this.” He said slowly and Steve shrugged.
“Sometimes you don’t need to wait to be asked to know someone needs help.” His voice was gentle and understanding. He may not know what had happened before he woke up, but Steve wasn’t broken. He could see that Eddie was obviously struggling. He would have to be blind to miss it. Eddie stared at him like he grew a second head.
“So… You just decided on your own to do chores. On purpose.” He said oddly. Steve snorted.
“It’s really not that bad.” Steve said with a laugh. He pointed to the note that Eddie was holding. “What’s the problem with that then? I’m not allowed to choose to make you coffee either?” He asked and Eddie looked back at the note, seemingly forgetting about it for a moment.
“I… right. I just… Why did you draw this?” He lifted the note and pointed to a small smiley face that Steve had added to the bottom of the paper. Steve wrinkled his nose.
“I dunno, I liked it.” He said before his eyes flickered down to a movement in Eddie’s other hand. He had pulled the small recording device out of his pocket. Steve rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, right now? Does this really have to do with my accident?” He asked with annoyance and Eddie’s eyes flashed with something before a mask of neutrality fell over his face.
“Yes.” He said somberly. “Everything does.” Eddie stepped backward into the hallway. Steve felt suddenly guilty somehow, as if he had said the wrong thing again. He started to pull the rubber gloves off, feeling the heat on his fingertips from wearing them for so long.
“Okay, okay. Sorry. Yeah, I just… I dunno, it felt right. Like a signature or something.”
“So would you say you felt compelled to draw this?” Eddie asked seriously and Steve bit back a laugh. Compelled, as if it was a mental disorder to draw a smiley face on a note.
“Yeah, I guess. I was compelled to draw something silly.” He said sarcastically and Eddie nodded, clicking the device.
“Thank you. For the coffee, and for the kitchen.” Eddie spoke awkwardly as if he had never thanked anyone in his life. He looked past Steve and pointed at a large mildewy spot on the wall. “You missed a spot.” Steve gritted his teeth, squinting his eyes. He grabbed the sponge and held it up.
“You’ll be lucky if I miss your head. Get out of here. I’m working.” Steve threatened and Eddie’s eyes widened while he lifted the device to his lips once more.
“Subject appears aggressive and threatens to- AH!” He jumped out of the way as Steve threw the sponge, hitting the hallway wall with a loud splat. Steve started to laugh at the noise, shaking his head and calling out to where Eddie had disappeared to.
“Can you pass that back?” There was silence. Steve cocked his head, getting up off his knees and walking to the door, looking around the corner. The man was gone, and Steve heard the back door slam once again. He sighed. “What a weirdo…” Steve huffed, scooping the sponge off the ground. It had felt like he was making some headway on the friendship front, but Eddie had basically run away when things started getting good. Steve got back to his knees, scrubbing at the tub once again.
“Maybe I should be keeping a record of all the weird shit he does too…” Steve mumbled to himself. In the distance he could hear the dull hum of music blaring. Steve rolled his eyes. The guy was going to blow his eardrums out.
Steve fell into the gentle focus of cleaning. He finished the bathroom, not exactly leaving it sparkling but way better off than it had been. He moved on to the living room, dusting and picking up pieces of garbage and clothing from the ground and couches. As he made his way through wiping the surfaces, it seemed like there were pictures missing from the walls. Nails were in the wood panels, but there was nothing hanging. It was as if the place had been cleaned out and left bare, toxicity and waste filling up the space instead. Steve wondered if it had to do with Eddie’s attitude. He gathered up bags of recyclables and trash, dragging them out the front door into the afternoon sun. It had gotten quite hot, the summer weather having heated up year after year. He could almost forget when he was inside the air conditioned home but when you crossed that threshold it was unmistakable. Steve’s skin burned as he dragged the bags out, heaving them into bins near the driveway.
“Hey, Steve!” He heard a female voice call out. Turning around, he saw Robin walking up, cheeks red from the heat and sweat dripping down her temple just from being out in the air for the short walk from the car to the house. “How are you doing?” She asked and Steve nodded, gesturing to the bags.
“Been keeping busy. It’s nice to see you again.” She smiled at the kind words and waved at the house.
“Mind if we… I mean I’m kinda burning up here.” She asked, desperate to head inside. Steve laughed and the two of them hurried to the door, slipping inside and feeling instant relief. He watched as she fanned herself quickly. “Man, it’s a scorcher.”
“They all are nowadays.” Steve replied and she sighed.
“Yeah. They are. Where’s Eddie? Has he been good to you?” She asked, looking around the living room, eyes lighting up. “Woah, you’ve made a lot of progress here. It almost looks like it used to…” She said softly, walking through the room toward the kitchen. Steve followed, a proud look on his face when he heard her exclaim when she walked in.
“Holy shit! There’s a working sink in here!” Robin laughed and Steve followed her in, surveying his handiwork.
“Sure is. You should see the bathroom.” He said smugly, crossing his arms. Robin grinned.
“Did Eddie tell you to do this?” She said offhandedly while she ran a hand over the clean counter, tapping it as she hit the edge. Steve snorted.
“Not a chance. He doesn’t really come out of his workshop much.” Steve waved at the back door. Robin looked back at him curiously.
“So… Why did you clean it then?” She asked and Steve was taken aback. It was one thing for Eddie to be asking him odd questions like that, but Robin felt different. Was it really so odd for him to be cleaning? It was starting to occur to him that maybe he wasn’t the tidiest person in his previous life. He put his hands on his hips.
“I just wanted to. It was gross.” He said simply, leaving out his ulterior motive of getting Eddie to like him a little bit more. She nodded and smiled.
“Alright, alright. Fair enough. Did you tell Eddie that?” She asked and Steve rolled his eyes.
“Yes, we had this same conversation a couple hours ago before he ran off again. He really… He really doesn’t like having me around here.” Steve scratched at his cheek awkwardly and Robin’s face fell, sadness suddenly reaching into her eyes.
“Hey… I don’t think that he doesn’t like having you around… He’s been alone here for a while. He’ll warm up. I know it. He just has to… You know.” She rolled her hands around looking for the right way to say what she meant. “He has to get used to it. That’s all.” She finished and Steve leaned against the counter pulling the bandana from his hair, letting his bangs fall in front of his face.
“Sure… It’ll be fine.” He said quietly, playing with the fabric. “How long do I have to stay here anyway?” He asked and Robin bit her lip.
“Not for me to say. Could be a couple weeks… A couple months, maybe.” She cringed at Steve’s incredulous face.
“Months??” He exclaimed and Robin sighed.
“It depends on how Eddie’s observations go. So, I mean… The more time you spend together, the less time you have to stay here.” She said with a look of sympathy. Steve groaned loudly.
“Fuck sakes… I’m gonna be here forever.” He moaned and Robin laughed a little.
“Not the worst place to be stuck.” She shrugged and Steve scoffed, crossing his arms. She was kind of right though. He would rather be here surrounded by the retro furniture and fittings; by nature and fresh air. It somehow didn’t sit right to him to imagine being stuck back in a white room at Vecna. This at least felt comfortable. Robin pointed to the bandana, changing the subject. “Did Eddie give that to you?” She asked and Steve looked down at it, gripping it tightly in his hands.
“No… It was just in the dresser.”
“Ah…” She said softly and Steve wanted to press it, but refrained. It was one of those moments where he was worried if he pushed anymore, asked something else, he was going to make her cry. Robin turned to the back door again. “So you said he was in the workshop?” She was quiet and Steve hummed.
“Yeah, been there a few hours. Took the coffee pot with him.” He waved at the machine that was missing the carafe. Robin sighed.
“Alright. I have to go chat with him, I'll be back in a little bit.” She said politely. Steve nodded, walking around her to open the door. He watched her walk across the yard to press a sequence of buttons on the pinpad that sealed the workshop door. When the metal slid open, loud screaming music poured out causing Steve and Robin to jump in sync. Robin growled, annoyed by the startlement.
“Eddie Munson! You’re gonna fucking melt your brain!” She screamed into the space and Steve could hear Eddie yelping, surprised by the interruption. Steve tried to peer around her in order to catch a glimpse of the place where Eddie had been hiding away but the door slid shut quickly. He cursed, snapping his fingers. The heat started to burn his skin again and Steve sighed, turning around and heading back into the house.
–
Robin had stuck around for nearly an hour and had said a brief goodbye to Steve as she walked out of the shed. Steve waved but noted that she looked decidedly worse of wear after her time with Eddie. Steve had continued his deep clean until he finally just couldn’t manage another whiff of bleach, calling it a win. The house looked much better now. With the kitchen nearly spotless and the garbage gone, it looked like a new home. Steve considered working on the yard, but the weather was much too hot to be out for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Besides, beauty was on the inside. He had taken a long hot shower after his long day of work and it did wonders, soothing his weary bones. When he came out of the bathroom, mirrors steamed and towel around his waist, he could hear loud music in the living room. He walked curiously down the hall, glancing at the clock. It was only about 10 o'clock. Much earlier than Eddie usually left the shed. But there he was, wandering around the living room and peering at Steve’s handiwork. The music was coming from a wireless speaker in the corner. It was heavy and full of rasping voices, screaming at the listener. Eddie bobbed his head, wiping a finger along a shelf and looking at it closely.
“Huh… Not bad…” He said to himself. Steve cleared his throat and Eddie jumped, looking over his shoulder quickly. Steve crossed his arms, leaning against the door frame leading into the room.
“Is it up to your standard?” Steve asked teasingly and Eddie stared at him, cheeks flushing. Steve watched his eyes flicker over his chest and suddenly felt bare. Eddie sniffed, looking away and pressing something in his pocket. The music stopped.
“Yeah. Well done.” Eddie muttered, walking quickly toward and past Steve down the hall and to his bedroom, slamming the door. Steve nodded to himself.
“Well done. Alright.” He smiled. That was better than the alternative. There was something that told him that Eddie was pleased. He had come back into the house at least. Maybe now that it was livable again, he would be there more often. Steve wandered back to his bedroom, stealing some more clothing from the dresser and laying on the bed, letting sleep come easily. He woke only once when the light from the hallway lit the wall as usual, Eddie coming by to do his nightly check.
The next morning, Steve woke up early as usual. Something about the sun pouring in through the window and the birds singing, really singing, not just some soundtrack playing through a speaker, made Steve wake easily. He stretched and laid there a while, just listening to the soothing sounds. He made a face, straining to hear. Something was different today. He rose slowly, careful not to make too much noise. Steve tiptoed out his door and down the hallway, pushing Eddie’s door open and peeking inside. The man was sprawled in his boxers, leg half off the mattress and mouth wide open. He sounded like a chainsaw, each inhale loud and roaring. Steve covered his mouth. It seemed that everything the man did was at maximum volume. He held back the laughter that threatened to bubble out and slipped away down the hallway.
Steve put an open palm spread gently on his abdomen, looking down at himself oddly as he leaned against the wall. Something inside him burned at the sight of Eddie sleeping soundly. It felt right . There was a real palpable warmth growing inside of him. Steve wondered if that was normal. But this was the first time that Steve had caught Eddie so off guard. As if maybe he was feeling comfortable enough with Steve to actually let his wall down a little. He made his way to the kitchen and started the coffee pot as he had yesterday, Eddie having brought the carafe back from where he had taken it away into the workshop. Steve pushed himself up to sit on the counter while he listened to the coffee brew, feeling oddly at home. A few minutes later the snoring in the distance stopped and Steve quirked his head, glancing to the door. He smiled as he heard a dramatic yawn and moan, assuming Eddie was stretching before he shuffled into the kitchen. He stopped at the entrance, hand under his shirt scratching his stomach and hair wild from slumber. Steve let his eyes trail down to where the man’s baggy sweats were hanging low on his hips, a few scars peeking out and hip bones pronounced. It was clear that he was underweight, likely from skipping one too many meals. There was a trail of hair that disappeared under the waistband and Steve lifted his head quickly, looking back up to Eddie’s face and scratching the back of his head. Eddie’s eyes met Steve’s and he rolled them dramatically.
"God… Were you waiting for me?" Eddie asked. Steve shrugged, letting the heated feelings that had awakened inside him at Eddie’s dishevelled appearance fall off of his shoulders and back into where he was burying the rest of the issues that he had been having.
"Kind of. Sleep well?" He hopped off the counter and grabbed a clean mug out of the cabinet, filling it with fresh coffee. He turned and held it out to Eddie, eyes hopeful. "Here." Eddie looked at it for a moment before succumbing and taking the beverage, bringing it forward and taking a sip.
"Thanks… I slept… Really well actually." He said quietly, walking around Steve to open a cupboard beside him, pulling out the whiskey he loved so much. He frowned at the bottle shaking around the small amount of liquid there was left. Steve watched carefully.
"Looks like you're running low." Steve murmured and Eddie looked at him.
"Yeah. Why don't you make an order today." Eddie unscrewed the cap and poured the remaining alcohol into the black coffee. Steve pressed his lips together.
"Do you really need it?" He asked and Eddie glanced at him.
"Yes. I said ‘make an order.’"
"No, if you want it then you order it." Steve crossed his arms, frowning. He refused to be an accomplice in some strangers' self -loathing. Eddie stared at him. He slowly reached into his pocket and Steve groaned.
"Oh my god, stop recording me! Just talk to me like a regular fucking person!" Steve reached over to stop Eddie from pulling the recording device out of his jeans pocket. Eddie looked down at where Steve had put a hand on him. It was gentle but he still moved away like it ached. He looked up at Steve sternly.
“Go sit down. We’re gonna do a check.” Eddie said and Steve groaned. He turned around, walking over to the table and sitting grumpily in one of the chairs. Eddie walked up behind him, speaking slowly. “Do you feel any pain today or otherwise odd sensations?”
“No.” Steve spoke brusquely, annoyed with the man. He thought about the burning feeling inside of him when he had watched Eddie sleep, or the pull in his temple when he had been touched by him and Robin before, but he hid those feelings away. He would tuck them inside a box in his mind for later when it mattered. Besides, Steve didn’t feel like giving Eddie any more reason to push him right now. Eddie sighed, lifting his fingers and delving them into Steve’s hair once again, sliding up the back of his scalp and parting the hair. Steve tried not to move, not wanting to give Eddie any indication that it felt just as nice as it had the other day. Eddie leaned in and Steve could feel puffs of hot breath on his neck. It made him shiver. The breath came again, longer this time. Steve made a small noise. It was accidental but he inwardly cursed himself anyway. Eddie spoke again.
“Did that feel strange? When I blew on you?” He asked quietly, voice thoughtful. Steve blushed.
“Sure. I wasn’t expecting it.” He muttered and Eddie drew a finger up in a long line.
“What colour is the sky?” Eddie asked suddenly and Steve snorted.
“What kind of question is that?”
“Just answer.” Eddie tapped his head and Steve tilted away from him.
“It’s green.”
“What colour did it used to be?” Eddie followed it up and Steve thought for a moment.
“... It used to be blue.”
“Good.” Eddie dropped his hand. He stepped away and Steve wriggled his shoulders. Eddie walked over to grab his coffee again. “Why did you say no to making the order? Like… What was your thought process?” He spoke casually and Steve wasn’t used to the man being sober and thoughtful. Steve shrugged.
“Well, I just don’t want to be bossed around.” Steve answered but Eddie hummed and took a sip of the coffee.
“Anything else? Be honest, I need to know.” His voice was calm and Steve watched him carefully. He looked more relaxed than usual as well, as if the sleep had finally rested him enough that he wasn’t on a ledge. Maybe a foot back. Steve didn’t want to give him too much credit. Steve leaned back and ran a hand through his hair.
“Honest, huh… Alright. I don’t think you should drink so much. So I don’t want to order you more booze. You can go ahead and hurt yourself, don't get me to do it.” Steve crossed his arms. Eddie pursed his lips and nodded.
“So… You’re concerned for my well being.” He articulated carefully and Steve nodded.
“I guess, yeah. I’d rather you not drink yourself into a coma. Take it from me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Steve said light heartedly and Eddie smirked.
“Right. You would know.” He reached down into his pocket and moved his thumb, signifying that he had turned off the recorder once again. “Good session.” He said airily and Steve frowned.
“How so? Why did any of that matter?” He asked with frustration. He threw his hands in the air. “Why does any of this matter? I’m obviously fine.” Steve said angrily. Eddie tilted his head.
“It all matters. I’m observing your brain functions. Every choice, every process… It all matters. Every little thing.” He explained, taking another sip of coffee. Steve let his arms drop to his thighs. That was probably the most information he had gotten out of anyone so far. Steve licked his lips.
“... Okay. Okay. Sorry.” He looked up at Eddie through his lashes. “I mean… I know you didn’t want to do this… So thank you. I’ll… I’ll make the order, okay? You got a tablet?” Eddie looked at him patiently, like he was amused by something that Steve had said. He dropped his chin, laughing softly.
“Yeah, I’ll get it.” Eddie set his coffee cup down and started to walk towards the bedroom. When he came back, tablet in hand, he passed it to Steve and smiled lightly. Steve felt the burn inside him again and he swallowed thickly. It could have been the first genuine smile that Steve had seen from the man. Eddie picked up the coffee and walked toward the door. “Any other plans for today?” Eddie asked casually and Steve just shook his head. Eddie nodded and opened the door.
“I’ll come back and check on you later. Just relax.” Eddie said gently and walked out. The door shut and Steve blinked a few times before grinning. He slowly raised his fist in the air and closed his eyes.
“Progress.” He whispered into the empty kitchen.
–
Steve made the order with some difficulty, not exactly sure what to get. Eddie had a few products favourited, the whiskey of course which Steve only added a single bottle to the cart. He scanned through, realising that everything was either microwaved, canned, or ready to eat foods. He wrinkled his nose, wondering if Eddie had ever cooked before. An idea hit him then as he considered things. Steve opened up the order history, looking over a year before. He whispered a soft aha. There was real food. Pasta, vegetables, fruits. Most of the food that was sold now was vegan, Beyond Meat type products lined the grocery list. A bottle of wine had been ordered as well. Steve looked at the food, thinking hard.
“I… Do I cook?” The ingredients seemed simple enough. Noodles, you boil them. Vegetables, you could roast. Add a sauce, you have a meal. Simple enough. Steve started adding the things that he saw to the cart, including the bottle of wine. He smiled to himself, putting the tablet down on his lap. Something felt good about a job well done. Now he just had to wait. He looked out the window, knowing he wouldn’t have to wait long. The drones were fast nowadays, they zipped around the air with a dull hum. He had seen them flying around at Vecna the other day. He waited, waited, and waited some more, eventually getting off the couch and pacing around.
“Damn things… Did I put in the right address?” He frowned at the tablet, picking it up and looking at the order. Finally, after an entire hour, there was a knock on the door. Steve frowned. “Who the fuck is… Here?” He opened the door and looked around. There was no one. There was a little beep near his feet and Steve looked down. His eyes widened.
“No way…” He smiled crouching down. A small robotic tank looking thing was waiting, dragging a wagon full of goods. It was beaten up, dents and scratches. It beeped softly once again, rolling forward and pushing into Steve’s leg. He reached out to put a hand on the front of it, patting gently. “It’s… It’s a D.A.R.T…” He whispered. The machine’s treads were thick with dust and he looked at the sides of it in awe. The thing had to have been nearly thirty years old by now. Hawkins must have really been sticking to their guns about not allowing Vecna to get their hooks into the town. Although the D.A.R.T. units had been a product of Vecna in the beginning, they had scrapped them many years ago when the Flayer drones proved to be more useful. Steve reached over to pull the crate of items from the order off its wagon. The unit beeped again softly, almost as if sighing in thanks. Steve looked at it oddly.
“You’re welcome. Thanks for bringing it.” The D.A.R.T. hooted and Steve patted it once again. It almost felt like it was a dog or something. There was personality to it, cute in a way with all of its little dings and scrapes. The machine whirred pleasantly before rolling off into the driveway, heading back to be repacked for its next order. Steve stood up straight, grinning at the retreating robot. It was just another thing that convinced Steve of Hawkins’ charm as a small town. He picked up the crate and brought it inside, ready to put away everything into the fridge and cupboards.
A few hours later, Steve was standing in the kitchen, surrounded by foods and utensils and looking at it all warily. He had assumed that cooking would just come back to him just as everything else had so far but now that he stood there, it seemed a little more difficult. He was just going to have to wing it. Steve closed his eyes and took a breath, letting his hands lead the way. He filled a pot with water, placing it on the gas stove and bringing it to a boil. He pulled out a cutting board and chopped some spinach, setting it aside. Before he knew it he was a well oiled machine. It was an odd sensation. His muscles seemed to know the routine, they seemed to know what to add and when to chop, but his mind was watching from a distance. Steve added some oil and salt to the boiling water, throwing in the dried pasta noodles while adding minced garlic and chopped shallots into a sizzling pan. The kitchen filled with the scent of good food, and Steve felt driven. Like he always had trust in himself that the next step was going to happen just right. Compelled . That had been the word that Eddie had used before. Steve frowned as he stirred cream into the pan, stirring quickly and creating a sauce. That’s exactly how he felt. He felt compelled to create this, to cook this food without having a clue what he was really doing. He felt compelled to do this for Eddie. To make him a good meal. Steve picked up the spinach and added it into the sauce. He wondered what that meant. He wondered if Eddie would ask.
“There. All done.” Steve whispered to himself as he drained the noodles. He looked at his final project, clean and perfect. “Wow… I’m awesome.” He said, grinning to himself. He heard the back door open and turned around to see Eddie with his empty coffee cup in hand. The man looked around the kitchen in confusion before looking at Steve.
“You cooked.” He said plainly and Steve nodded. He gestured for Eddie to sit down at the table.
“Please don’t ask me why. Just… Have some.” Steve pleaded gently and Eddie stared at him for a moment before putting the cup on the counter and sliding into the chair. Steve noted that he looked much less haggard today. The dark circles that had been under the man’s eyes since Steve had arrived looked lighter and the redness was lessened. His hair was pulled back into a messy bun for the moment. He even seemed sober still. Steve assumed that maybe he had run out of liquor in his workshop as well. As Eddie sat down, Steve turned to grab a few plates and scooped some pasta onto them before smothering them with sauce. He placed one in front of Eddie and sat down with his own before grabbing the bottle of wine he had ordered and offering it to the man. Eddie nodded slowly as if trying to find out what the catch was, but Steve ignored his hesitation and poured them both a glass, the red liquid sloshing loudly. Once Steve set the bottle down, silence settled between them. Steve tapped his finger nervously on the table and his leg jostled underneath.
“Well… Aren’t you gonna eat? I know you like pasta.” Steve blurted and Eddie raised his eyebrow.
“Did you poison it?” He asked slowly and Steve scoffed.
“Why would I do that I-... Oh, you’re joking.” He noticed the small tilt of Eddie’s smile and the man shrugged.
“Can’t be too careful. Bon appetit.” He said optimistically before picking up his fork and stabbing a few noodles and spinach, bringing it to his mouth. Steve watched as he took a bite and chewed for a few moments before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “God damn. It’s really good.” Eddie said dreamily and Steve grinned. His whole body relaxed and he sat back as Eddie took another bite.
“Glad you like it. Can’t just live on canned ravioli.” He said playfully as Eddie ate. The man nodded thoughtfully.
“You can, but you shouldn’t.” He looked up at Steve. He had the same expression that he had in the morning. Soft and curious. “What made you choose this recipe?” He asked and Steve sighed. Back to the questions. He pointed over to the tablet that was sitting on the counter, forgotten.
“I just looked at some of your old orders and thought that if you bought it before, you’d probably like it again.” Steve said honestly and Eddie nodded.
“Alright. Well… Thank you.” Eddie took another bite and Steve felt his heart swell. He could see what Robin meant now. About how Eddie was a nice guy. He cleared his throat, feeling the familiar sensation that went along with blushing cheeks.
“I saw that Hawkins uses an old D.A.R.T. unit for the order deliveries.” Steve said conversationally. Eddie nodded as he ate, waving his fork in the air.
"Yeah, yeah. I saw you talkin' to it in the cams. Pettin' it like a puppy." Eddie smiled, swallowing his mouthful. Steve looked away, embarrassed.
"I didn't know you had cameras…" Steve said quietly. Eddie hummed happily.
“Oh yeah. I got ‘em everywhere. Saw you spying on me too.” Eddie looked up from his plate, a playful look on his face. Steve’s eyes widened and he started to stammer.
“W-... Well you look at me at night! I always see you.”
“Yeah, but that’s my job. I’m supposed to watch you. What’s your excuse?” Eddie smirked, playing with his fork and taking a drink of his wine. Steve scoffed, looking away with embarrassment. So much for privacy. To think that Eddie had probably been holed away in his workshop, just watching Steve on the cameras. Eddie sighed, leaning back and wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Relax, it’s fine. I’m not worried about it.” He said kindly and Steve looked back at him.
“What do you do in that workshop all day?” He asked, hoping to drive away the thought that he was being watched 24/7. Eddie shrugged.
“Work. I have a job.”
“What kind of work? I thought you were a doctor. Don’t you have to be around people to be a doctor?” Steve tossed back and Eddie smiled.
“I’m not that kind of doctor. I do… Research. I have things on the go. Plus, I’m watching you.” He tilted his head and lifted his fork again, scooping up more of his dinner. “That’s a full time gig.” He said before popping more into his mouth and making a noise of pleasure.
“You really like it, huh?” Steve said softly, watching as Eddie ate. The man nodded.
“This is one of my favourites. Love pasta.” He spoke through the food in his mouth. “Did you get any whiskey?” Eddie asked and Steve sighed. He stood up and walked to the cupboard, pulling out one single bottle of amber liquid.
“Make it last.” He said sternly. Eddie looked at him oddly before starting to laugh.
“You’re so… God. Yeah. Alright.” He shook his head, still smiling. With one more bite, his plate was empty and Eddie stood up. He looked down at Steve’s untouched plate. “You’re not hungry?” He asked and Steve looked at the food. He put a hand on his stomach. It felt fine. Full. When he looked at the food, it looked appetising but…
“No… I guess not. Must have sampled too much while I was cooking…” He answered, sounding troubled. Had he eaten anything? He must have. It only made sense. Eddie pursed his lips and nodded, standing up. He grabbed the glass of wine, finishing it off in a final gulp.
“Right. Of course.” He said nonchalantly, setting the glass down and looking around the kitchen. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked suddenly awkward again. “I… Thank you. Seriously, I needed that.” He said before licking his lips and looked back up to meet Steve’s eyes. Steve felt his heart flutter. He swallowed it down.
“Y-yeah. Of course. I… I’ll cook tomorrow too.” He said almost too eagerly, having to press his lips together firmly. Eddie nodded.
“That would be nice…” The tension lingered and Steve slid a hand over his mouth, wondering what else to say. It was too late though. Eddie moved to pick up Steve’s untouched plate and walked towards the back door. “Since you’re not hungry.” He called back. Steve snorted.
“Please. Help yourself.” He said sarcastically and with that Eddie was out the door once again, leaving Steve a little more confused than before, the burning feeling lingering inside of his soul. He looked around the kitchen, lamenting softly. “Guess I’ll clean up too…” He grumbled, walking over to the sink. Though, as he washed to plates, Steve wore a smile the entire time. Eddie had enjoyed the dinner. They had even had some decent conversation. It pleased him. Steve wondered why he was so intent on getting on the man’s good side. Maybe because he was all alone all day. He had no sense of self to really speak of, no hobby that he really knew of. Eddie was the only thing he could really focus on. Steve tried to push away the threatening images of Eddie’s exposed stomach and sleepy eyes. That wasn’t something he really wanted to taint the positive momentum that he had going. Between dinner and the moments that they had in the morning, it had been a good day.
“Tomorrow could be even better…” Steve said to himself. A promise. He dried the dishes and put them away, the small vow comforting him into the setting sun.
–
The next morning Steve awoke before Eddie once again. He turned the coffee on, letting it brew while he tidied the plate that Eddie had brought in late from the workshop. Eddie eventually came out, flushed and messy like he had been the morning before. The two of them exchanged a few niceties and Eddie took the coffee with him out to the shed. He came back later for dinner, where Steve had made grilled cheese sandwiches with some of the leftover spinach that remained. Steve and Eddie chatted, Eddie asked him about his day and Steve made simple comments back. He didn’t have much to talk about being stuck in the house all day, the August weather being too hot to explore the property in the afternoon.
Eddie left as soon as dinner was done and Steve hadn’t been aware that he didn’t eat once again until Eddie picked up his plate, taking it with him. He frowned, realising he had been too ensconced in their easy conversation to really notice. He was left alone in the kitchen once again and cleaned up before retreating to sit on the sofa. He had found a few mystery novels while he was cleaning before and had decided that it may be the best way to kill some time. After a couple hours, the back door creaked open and Steve heard Eddie walk in, stopping at the living room entrance way. There was a little knock on the wall and Steve put his book down, turning to look.
“Hey, you.” Eddie said softly, face so gentle and mild that he looked like a different person. Steve’s mind lit up. It felt like he was buzzing, that pull at his temple stronger than he had felt it so far. Something inside felt locked up, desperate to get out. Crying. Screaming. He winced and brought a hand up to press at his head looking for a way to release the pressure. Eddie frowned, walking over quickly.
“Woah, what’s happening? Are you okay?” He rounded the sofa and kneeled in front of Steve, putting his hands on his knees. Steve looked at him with one eye. The sight of Eddie looking up at him with wide eyes, hair falling around his cheeks that were sprinkled with the faintest of freckles made the feeling worse, or better Steve didn’t know. As he looked at Eddie it was almost as if there were two of him, a layer over top. The second image of him was flushed, eyes blown, grinning wolfishly. Lust bloomed in Steve’s insides. It felt closer, familiar. Something inside was so tense. Ready to break open. Release the information. Release. The word rang in his head. Eddie shook his knees.
“Steve. Can you hear me?” He asked, his voice was tight with concern. All at once, the feeling broke like a fever. Gone in a flash. Steve’s face went slack for a moment and his mind was white screen and static electricity. Then he was back. He looked at Eddie.
“That’s the first time you’ve said my name…” He whispered and Eddie stared at him, calculating slowly. Steve could see the motors running in his brain, working things out and bringing in the information. He let go of Steve’s knees and dropped his head a little, looking to the floor.
“Maybe it is… We need to have a session.” He mumbled before standing up, turning his body and sitting next to Steve on the couch. “Turn so I can see your head.” He ordered with a wavering voice. Steve didn’t argue. There was something in the air. Worry. Sadness. Something different than the original resentment and less pleasant than the new comfort. He turned away from Eddie, letting him delve his fingertips into Steve’s hair. Steve felt drunk. Dizzy. Whatever had just happened to him left him in a haze. He sighed and pressed back into the touch as Eddie dragged his finger down the back of his scalp and Eddie paused.
“Don’t stop… I like it.” Steve slurred. Eddie made a small noise behind him.
“You… You like it.” He said as if it was hard to believe and Steve nodded.
“Yeah… More. ” He said raspily. He closed his eyes and blurry images appeared like a rapid slideshow, moving far too fast for Steve to possibly make out. He tried to focus, tried to grab at them. Steve wanted to look, wanted to see what the pictures were. There were so many of them moving so quickly, everytime Steve tried to pick out one it was already gone. Eddie pressed hard into his skull suddenly and Steve’s eyes snapped open.
“Ouch!” He yelped, jolting his head forward and away from Eddie’s touch.
“... Sorry.” Eddie whispered, but whatever he had done had brought Steve back to reality. He blinked a few times, his vision back to normal. He rubbed at his eyes. The blurred images were gone. He sniffed. It was so strange. He felt like he had missed something. A message was there. A memory. He swore softly.
“Dammit… I almost had it…” He whispered and Eddie put a hand on his shoulder, pulling. Steve turned around to see Eddie’s face, stone and solid. He had pulled a small pen light from his pocket.
“Look at me. Open your eyes.” He said sternly. Steve sighed, obeying the command and flinching as Eddie shined the light in each eye. He furrowed his brow, shining the light away and then back again a few times before turning it off. “Weird…” It was a small whisper to himself but Steve tilted his head.
“What’s weird?” He asked and Eddie put the light down, pulling out his recorder. He clicked it with his thumb, looking back up to meet Steve’s eyes.
“Walk me through what just happened. Start when I came in. State the time.” His words sounded robotic and Steve bit his lip.
“I… It was a minute ago? Maybe two?” Steve started and Eddie looked at his watch before talking into the device with concern.
“Subject 91110 has lost approximately twelve minutes of time, note that subject has the belief that it’s been two minutes.” Eddie spoke clearly and Steve’s eyes widened.
“Twelve… Twelve fucking minutes??” Steve’s voice was fearful. How was that possible? It had only been a few seconds of fuzziness. Had he been losing time whenever this had happened before? Eddie patted his shoulder.
“Carry on. What happened to you? Explain clearly.” His voice was strictly business and Steve swallowed thickly. He wanted to cry, but he continued.
“You… You called out to me. You said, ‘Hey, you.’ and… My head felt like it was full of pressure. Something was pushing inside… or sucking in? I can’t… it’s just pressure.” Steve tried to put into words the sensation. “It was the way you said it I think… I wanted to remember something.” Steve finished and Eddie tapped his finger on his thigh.
"Have you felt this way before?" He asked seriously. Steve looked up at him, somewhat guilty.
"... Yeah." He admitted finally and Eddie narrowed his eyes.
"Were you actively keeping that from me?" The question felt loaded and Steve didn't want to admit it. It felt wrong. But he was cornered, and it was already out there between them. He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"I guess you could say that. I just didn't think it was that important." A small lie. Eddie waited a moment before moving on.
"Everything is important. I said that before. Everything matters. Tell me when it happened before this." Eddie pressed and Steve rolled his shoulders, little tics to ease the anxiety.
“I felt it when I was with Robin before. I hugged her and it was like something was right there, kinda pressing.” Steve had lifted a finger to his temple, pushing into it. “Then it happened again when you were holding on to my shoulder during the first session.” He finished and Eddie sucked in a breath.
“When you said ‘more’… You went into a trance state. What did that feel like? Could you see anything?” Eddie asked and Steve felt his cheeks heat up.
“I felt… High. Kind of woozy? I looked at you kneeling down in front of me and…” How could Steve explain what he felt? Drunk? Horny? All of the above? He covered his eyes and spoke quietly. “You just looked different somehow. Like I was seeing two of you. One was… like some sort of fantasy.” He cleared his throat as he watched Eddie’s eyes widen.
“What else.” Eddie wanted more.
“You said my name… Then my head kind of went blank…” Steve thought carefully. “You were touching me. It felt good. So good. When I closed my eyes, it was like my brain was trying to show me a bunch of things at once. I was trying to slow it down… Grab onto something. I think it was my memories.” Steve trailed off. Eddie was nodding slowly, listening carefully.
“Memories, huh…” Eddie said to himself. Steve frowned.
“Yeah. Hundreds. Thousands. Then you poked your finger into my skull and it snapped me out of it.” Steve finished. Eddie was biting his lip, deep in thought. Eventually he stood up and started to leave, muttering something into the recorder. Steve spluttered, reaching out to him.
“H-Hey! Wait! Aren’t you gonna… Should I really be left alone? What if I go into another coma??” Steve reached out after him and Eddie paused. He clicked the recorder again and turned.
“Do you feel scared?” His voice was small. Steve swallowed. He looked up at Eddie through his lashes.
“... Yes.” He whispered and Eddie tapped his leg anxiously. He looked at the back door through the kitchen from where he stood, clearly longing for the safe space in his workshop, probably desperate to input the information of what had just happened. Steve continued to look at him, eyes open wide and face honest. “Please… Just stay with me for a little while.” He pleaded softly and Eddie closed his eyes, taking a long slow breath. He stretched his neck side to side as if he was about to do a work out and reached up to pull his hair back into a bun before walking back over to Steve, pocketing his recorder.
“Okay. I can stay.” He sat down on the couch beside Steve, bouncing slightly and crossing his arms.
“Thank you… Thank you, Eddie.” He said softly. Eddie hummed and silence fell between them. Eddie clearly couldn’t take it for long and he pulled a phone out of his other pocket, fidgeting with it before sound burst out of the speakers in the corner of the living room. Steve jumped, startled by the noise. The music was the same as always, loud and screaming, drums crashing and someone lamenting about life. Steve shook his head. Eddie snorted.
“What, you don’t like it? It’s classic.” He smiled and Steve shrugged.
“It’s so angry.”
“Not really. Not if you really listen. The words mean something to me. Besides, all the new stuff now is AI. It’s not even real instruments. This is where it’s at. Back when everyone still had to learn something, feel it to really get it.” Eddie carried on, waving his hands in the air. Steve liked listening to him talk about it. It was soothing his nerves. They sat and listened for a while before Steve spoke again.
“Are you worried that I’ll go back to sleep?” Steve asked softly. Eddie pressed his lips together and thought for a moment before answering.
“Well. If you do, I’ll just have to wake you up.” He turned to look at Steve with a lopsided smile. Steve huffed and closed his eyes. Eddie shuffled beside him, moving a little closer. Whether it was on purpose or not, Steve couldn’t tell but his heart raced either way. Eddie cleared his throat. “Was that… Was that really the first time I said your name?” He asked and Steve nodded.
“Yeah, it was. Not that I was waiting for you to say it or whatever.” Steve said oddly and Eddie laughed.
“Right, no. It wasn’t like I surprised you so much that it short circuited your brain.” He joked and Steve chuckled, groaning and covering his face with his hand.
“Oh my god… This was totally your fault.” He moaned and Eddie snickered.
“I guess so. I’ll make sure not to say it again.”
“No!” Steve turned quickly. Eddie jolted his head back and Steve flushed. “I mean… No… I liked it. Like… I kinda walk around here like a ghost a lot. I can’t remember anything about who I was. Sometimes it feels like I’m no one at all. So when you say my name… It just feels right.” He said honestly and Eddie looked guilty. He looked down at his hands, interlocking his fingers and tapping his thumbs together.
“It’s hard for me… To have you around here.” Eddie said quietly, almost to the point that Steve couldn’t hear. But he caught it. He wanted to press further. He wanted to ask why. But Eddie turned up the music from his phone and Steve took that as a cue to sit back and shut up. To take what he could get. He settled back and closed his eyes, letting the words fill his head. Somehow, among all the noise and excitement, Steve felt tired. His mind started to slow and he felt the familiar draw of slumber wash over his body in a wave. He leaned over and his head fell onto Eddie’s shoulder. Before he fell into unconsciousness, he could have sworn he felt Eddie’s arm slip around his shoulder tentatively, holding him tightly. He thought he heard Eddie sniff wetly. He thought he felt his body shiver with a shuddering breath. On the cusp of sleep, Steve thought he heard Eddie say his name.
“I’m sorry, Steve…”
—
After the time loss event, or at least that’s what Steve called it in his mind, Eddie seemed to hang around the house more. Steve had woken up the next morning on the couch, a blanket draped over him carefully. It was clearly later than Steve usually liked to get up and he assumed it was because his brain likely needed the reset after everything that had happened. He sat up, scrubbing his eyes and stretching, rolling his neck around to work out the kinks that came from sleeping in a new place. He had assumed that Eddie would have gone to his workshop already but when Steve stood up and turned around he was surprised to see the man. He stood there holding his coffee cup and watching him carefully.
“Good morning.” He had said softly and Steve nodded, smiling.
“Good morning, yourself. Didn’t expect to see you.” He said truthfully. Eddie shrugged and took a sip of his drink.
“How are you feeling? Dizzy? Nauseous?” He asked, walking toward Steve and peering into his eyes. Steve shook his head, holding his arms out and turning around slowly.
“Nope, I’m totally fine. See?” He rounded back to Eddie and raised his eyebrows, placing his hands on his hips. Eddie tilted his head.
“What if I do this?” Eddie asked and Steve nearly jumped out of his skin when Eddie dropped to his knees in front of him suddenly. He looked down, eyes wide and Eddie looked up through his lashes inquiringly.
“One or two of me?” He asked and Steve’s mouth felt dry. He stared down at the man trying to calm himself down. Steve cleared his throat.
“O-one. Don’t think I’d survive two of you.” He rasped, trying to make a joke but he was entirely serious. One Eddie was enough. Eddie nodded and stood up. He turned to walk towards the kitchen.
“Good.” He said, sipping back the last of the coffee that remained in his mug. Steve could almost swear he saw the back of Eddie’s neck flush. Steve followed him into the kitchen and watched as he poured another coffee, pleased when he noticed that Eddie didn’t add any liquor to it.
“What are your plans today, Steve?” He asked slowly as he turned to lean back on the counter. Steve smiled.
“... You're just gonna say my name for fun now?” He asked slowly and Eddie shrugged.
“Maybe. Maybe not if you call me out on it.” He teased and Steve snorted.
“Alright, alright. Forget I said it.” He waved his hands in front of him and pulled out a chair from the table, sitting down. “I thought I might read for a while. Take a shower. Make dinner. The usual.” He listed off what he had been up to for the past week and Eddie nodded.
“Sounds good. Make sure you take it easy… Do you have enough clothes?” Eddie asked and Steve looked down at himself. He had been alternating between sweats and the tracksuit he had come in, having been down to the last few things that Eddie had supplied in the dresser.
“I could use a few more. Were they your clothes?" Steve asked and Eddie shook his head lightly.
"Someone left them here… I have another box in the attic… I'll bring them down." Eddie spoked quietly and with that he left for the workshop.
Steve spent the morning reading but had been pleasantly surprised when Eddie came back in for lunch and then once again before Steve started dinner. He put on his music through the speaker and set up his laptop at the kitchen table. Steve glanced at him silently a few times as he gathered things around the kitchen. Finally he had stopped, staring at Eddie and putting his hands on his hips. Eddie stopped typing and looked up at him.
"... What?" Eddie asked, confusion in his voice. Steve shook his head.
"Nothing I guess."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No! I mean, it’s your house. You can do whatever you want." Steve grinned, pleased to have the company. Eddie just sniffed and looked back down to whatever he was typing. Steve turned to gather some things from the fridge when he heard Eddie speaking behind him.
"What are you making today?" He asked and Steve glanced around at what they had still from the order he had made.
"Hmmm… How about meatloaf and asparagus?" He pulled out a pack of vegan ground meat, holding it up so Eddie could see. He heard the man hum.
"We got potatoes?"
"Sure. Mashed?"
"Baked. I want garlic on 'em. Capers too." Eddie said vaguely, slightly distracted by what he was typing. Steve wrinkled his nose and turned around.
"Capers. On your potato?" He asked and Eddie glanced at him with a grin.
"Yeah. We got them, right?" Steve raised an eyebrow and turned back to the fridge. He was right. There were three jars of capers sitting on the top shelf. He pulled one out staring at it.
"You like these, huh?" Steve turned it in his hand and hummed again in response. Steve made a note in his mind to use them as much as possible. He got to work cooking, the music coming in from the other room to fill the silence and Eddie working diligently at the laptop. When everything was cooked and ready; capers and garlic butter placed on top of baked potatoes, Eddie helped clear and set the table. It was nice; it felt comfortable. Once it was over and Steve cleared their plates, Eddie beckoned Steve over to sit in a kitchen chair as he checked the back of his head and asked him mundane questions.
“What’s the first thing you remember?”
“Where did you wake up this morning?”
“How old are you?”
The questions and answers flowed easily and once Eddie was done, Steve missed the warmth on the back of his head. Eddie remained inside and the music continued while he sat with Steve on the couch, looking at things on his phone while Steve read his book. Steve tried to pretend that the man wasn’t shooting him little glances now and then, watching his face or trailing over his lips as he mouthed out words to himself. Eventually Eddie started to yawn and Steve shooed him to bed, saying that he wouldn’t be up too much longer. Once Eddie had retreated to his room, Steve looked around. He knew the cameras were there but he needed to check anyway. He walked to the kitchen where the dishes were drying in the sink and reached into the cupboard where the bottle of whiskey had been stowed away. He looked at the seal and smiled. It hadn’t even been broken. It was the first day since he had arrived at the house that Eddie hadn’t taken a sip of alcohol. He tucked the liquor back into the cabinet and slipped into his room, falling into the bed dreamily. It had been the best day that he could remember having. Not that there were too many to compare to.
The following days passed in a similar fashion. Some days Steve would still wake up with Eddie already gone to the workshop, but the difference was that he would always come back to grab the coffee pot once Steve had made it. He would hang around from lunch onward and watch Steve make dinner. Some days Steve made something simple, sometimes Eddie would hang over his shoulder giving him odd instructions on what to add, like black olives to salads or too much salt and pepper. Steve would shoo him off, telling him that he hadn’t made a bad meal yet. At one point the box of clothes that Eddie had mentioned had magically appeared in Steve’s room, and Steve looked through it happily, pulling out a yellow sweater that called to him loudly. He put it up to his face and inhaled. It smelled familiar. It smelled like home. The familiar tug pulled at his temple and Steve tucked it away before it got to be too much.
Sometimes Steve would make an order and Eddie seemed to always show up when the D.A.R.T. would arrive, watching Steve interact with it. Steve loved the thing. It would roll up to him and nudge his shin and Steve would lean over, patting it gently and cooing to it as if it was a small animal. Eddie would cross his arms and tilt his head, always a little smirk on his face. Steve didn’t mind it. It felt like they had a ‘thing’ and that made Steve feel like he was closer to the man than ever.
About two weeks after the time loss event, Steve suggested that the two of them go for a walk in the forest. Eddie had looked up from his phone that he had been scanning and tilted his head.
“It’s so hot now… I’ll die if I’m out there for more than a few minutes…” Eddie said slowly. Steve nodded.
“Let’s go early, before the sun gets too high. Aren’t you bored being in here all the time?” He asked and Eddie shrugged.
“I like it here. Always have, even when the place wasn’t mine.” He looked back down to his phone. “Wake me up at five I guess. We’ll go for a walk if you want to so badly.” He said evenly and Steve smiled, making a little fist and pulling it into himself in a little act of victory. Eddie must have seen the action in his peripheral vision because he smiled gently. The next morning, Steve woke up at five on the dot, eyes springing open of their own volition. He blinked a couple times before looking at the clock, realising that his internal clock had worked perfectly. He laughed to himself, thinking that he must have been really excited for his little field trip. He got up out of bed, putting on his shorts and quickly heading down the hall, knocking on Eddie’s door once. After a minute he knocked again. Then again. He frowned.
“Hey, wake up, you said-” Steve started to yell and the door swung open. Eddie looked bleary eyed and heavy with sleep. His wild hair had been thrown into a quick bun and he was wearing a baggy t-shirt with denim cutoffs. He blinked at Steve, eyes dark.
“You’re a good alarm clock. I kinda wanna throw you against the wall.” He muttered, pushing past Steve. Steve’s eyes followed him, cheeks flushing. He knew the statement was meant as a quip but somehow Steve wasn’t too opposed to the idea. Eddie called out loudly. “Coffee. I need coffee.” Steve moved again, skipping past Eddie into the kitchen and setting the machine. Eddie slumped down into one of the chairs, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
“Can’t believe I’m doing this. Must be going crazy.” Eddie was talking to himself and Steve set the brew button, leaning back and waiting.
“Where are we going to go?” Steve asked and Eddie looked up.
“I dunno. Around. You don’t have something you want to see?” He said, his voice hoarse having just woken up. Steve shook his head.
“I just… Want to be out there. I like nature. The air. The trees.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I know anything else, but sometimes all the technology and changes… It’s kind of overwhelming. Just want to enjoy what’s left of the real world while I can.” He finished and looked at Eddie who looked like he finally woke up. He was staring at Steve with a soft expression that was somewhere between nostalgia and sadness although the two were often only separated by a fine line. He took a deep breath and rubbed at his face, yawning yet again.
“Fine… Let’s go be one with nature, you fuckin' hippie.” Eddie mumbled and got up off the chair, picking out a coffee mug and filling it before walking to the back door. “Come on, hurry up. It’s only getting hotter.” He said as he opened the door and Steve smiled, pushing himself away from the counter and following after the man. The two of them walked out into the yard, both slipping into sneakers on the way out. Eddie looked around before starting off into a random direction and Steve tilted his head.
“You have an idea?” He asked, the crunching of gravel and leaves under his feet loud in the morning clear. Eddie nodded a little.
“Yeah… Been a while since I’ve been there. Might be a good time to visit.” He said oddly and Steve shrugged. He was happy to learn a little more about Eddie each day he spent there. The man was like a puzzle where all the pieces were hidden away, you had to find them before you could put anything in its place. The two of them walked off of the property, Eddie cursing as he had to step over fallen branches and rocks, holding on to the coffee mug desperately. Steve snickered and walked behind him. Steve was looking at trees and touching the rough bark as he passed by, committing each piece, texture, and smell to his memory. The further they moved into the woods, the more familiar things became. Steve eventually slowed to a stop, looking around and up into the minty green skyline. Eddie seemed to notice that his footsteps were no longer behind him and slowed to a stop. He turned to look at Steve inquisitively, holding the now empty mug at his side, letting it dangle beside his thigh.
“What… You okay?” He asked and Steve stood there silently, looking around. A bird whistled in the distance. Wind rustled through the dry leaves. There was something moving amongst the twigs and detritus.
“Have… Have I been here before?” Steve questioned softly, turning in a slow circle. Eddie’s eyes widened.
“Does it look familiar?” Eddie started to walk back toward him. Steve nodded lightly and Eddie stopped in front of him, sliding his free hand down Steve’s arm, landing his palm into Steve’s. Steve jolted, looking down and flushing red but Eddie looked serious and pensive. “Where do you want to go from here?” Eddie asked quietly and Steve’s heart pounded.
“W-...What do you mean…” He stuttered and Eddie tsked.
“Come on. Close your eyes. What way do we go now?” As Eddie spoke Steve realised he meant the direction of the walk, not what was between them, building for weeks and sitting patiently, waiting for a move. He swallowed and let his eyes flutter close. The pressure built at his temple.
“That feeling’s back. The one in my head from before.” He frowned and Eddie squeezed his hand.
“Relax. Follow it. What is it telling you?” Eddie whispered and Steve took a heavy breath. He focused on the feeling, honing in and letting it speak. He had felt words like this before. It wasn’t exactly a sound but like an order inside of him. Forward. Walk forward. Take a left. Walk. Go . He opened his eyes, jolting into motion and dragging Eddie with him.
“This way. Come on.” He gritted and Eddie made a noise of surprise as Steve started to walk quickly, skipping over boulders, bushes, and branches.
“Woah, woah, woah! Watch it, I’m gonna break a fucking ankle!” Eddie yelped, hopping over the obstacles like a drunken rabbit. Steve looked back over his shoulder.
“You said follow it. I don’t wanna lose it. Do you want me to carry you?” Eddie made a face, smacking a low hanging twig from his face as they continued through the forest.
“N-no!” He squeaked and Steve nodded, continuing on. Left. Go left. Keep walking, past the large oak tree. There’s that stump, it looks like a frog. Then turn to the right a little. Keep going straight. His expression was stern and determined as they burst into a clearing. Steve’s mind exploded into a shower of sparks, the little lights around his vision lighting up the area like a stage. It was almost as if something within him shouted, ‘you did it!’ He broke into excited laughter, letting go of Eddie’s hand as he stumbled into the open space, twirling around with his arms open.
“This is it! This is it, right? This was where we were going??” Steve exclaimed, swirling around to look at Eddie again. The man was behind him, looking around the space and tapping the empty mug against his thigh, other hand shoved in his pocket.
“... Yeah, you found it.” He sniffed. Steve wrinkled his nose and turned around to take in the scenery. There was a large boulder in front of them, covered in dried out moss and dirt. It looked to be in the shape of a skull almost if you looked at it right.
“Woah… Is this… Where we were going in the first place?” Steve asked as he looked at the massive stone. Eddie nodded.
“It is.”
“How did you know I would find it?” Steve asked in wonder and Eddie took a nervous breath.
“I just… I trust you. Trusted… I just knew you would find the way.” Eddie stumbled around the words and Steve raised an eyebrow, not quite sure he believed him. Eddie scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly. Steve tapped his foot, looking at him.
“Well? Aren’t you gonna ask me questions? Record me? Pet me?” Steve quipped, opening his arms out. Eddie seemed distracted, looking at the area restlessly.
“No… No, just… I dunno, explore or whatever.” He mumbled and Steve looked at him seriously for a moment before sighing exasperatedly.
“... Or whatever…” Steve whispered before heading off to the boulder. He wandered around, checking out the space underneath it that had a bit of litter laying around and a chair set up as if someone had been spending time there. He ducked under the little alcove, looking at the rock wall. There was graffiti on the flat wall of it. Little faces and a few derogatory messages like ‘Fuck Vecna’ and ‘All tech is bad tech.’, the political leanings of the small town coming through. Steve looked back to Eddie who hadn’t moved.
“Is this place special?” He yelled out and Eddie seemed to snap back to reality. He cleared his throat.
“Y-Yeah. It’s a local landmark kind of. Skull Rock.” Eddie answered and Steve hummed, looking back at the graffiti and touching it gently.
“Is it special to you ?” Steve called again, not looking away from one of the scratchy messages that was written on the stone. He heard Eddie shuffle, the leaves scratching together on the ground.
“... Yeah. It is.” He returned and Steve dropped his hand. The words in front of him were nearly screaming.
‘Life is ours, we live it our way.’
Steve stared at it. It was Eddie’s handwriting, he was sure of it. He turned to the chair that was abandoned there and closed his eyes. He could picture a teenaged version of Eddie, long hair and ripped jeans covered in chains. Maybe listening to loud music, drinking a beer that he could have snuck out of a parents fridge. He could imagine him laughing, smoking, joking around, scrawling little messages on walls. He opened his eyes and looked at Eddie now. The man stood uncomfortably in the clearing while scratching at his arm, fingers picking at the bat tattoos that trailed up his skin. His hair was falling gently out of the bun he had made and his skin looked entirely too pale in the haze of the summer morning. The denim cut offs he was wearing were slightly too loose, likely a product of his more recent weight loss and his legs stuck out the bottom like a chicken. Steve's heart swelled at the sight of him. At the memory of a younger version he likely never met. The feeling at his temple pulsated. Go to him. Go to him . Grab him, hold him, never let go. Bring him close and-
“Come on, we gotta get back. I’m starting to sweat, I don’t wanna get caught out here too late.” Eddie called out and Steve blinked. The feeling disappeared and he shook his head.
"Alright, alright… I'm coming." Steve called back, taking one last glance at the words on the rock. He couldn't help but think that one day, a long time before, he had watched them get written. He turned, kicking through the leaves and following Eddie back into the woods and back home.
–
When the two men returned home the air was already hot and weighted, Eddie ran in through the door, panting.
"Oh thank God. Sweet, sweet air con, I missed you so much!" He cried dramatically, flopping into a chair. He waved the air, fanning himself as Steve was walking in behind him, a small grin on his face from the theatrics. Eddie hadn't talked much on the walk back, he had seemed deep in thought until the last ten minute stretch where he started to complain loudly about the heat. Steve could feel it but maybe the other man's threshold was lower than his own. Eddie leaned his head back, holding up the hair that had stuck to his neck from sweat.
"Get me a glass of water, wouldja?" He asked Steve in exasperation. Steve rolled his eyes, walking to the fridge and pulling out a water bottle, tossing it at Eddie who yelped, catching it last second. He glared at Steve but didn't say anything, instead cracking the bottle and chugging the cold water. Steve watched him, eyelids feeling heavy as Eddie tilted his head back, sweat rolling down his temple and throat bobbing. He swallowed thickly and when Eddie finished, pulling off the bottle with a gasp and a trickle of water slipping down his chin. Steve had to look away. The more time that they spent together, the more time Steve watched the man and got to know him, the harder it was becoming to ignore the obvious feelings that were growing. Steve had a sneaking suspicion that they weren't one sided either. But something about it was odd. Like there was something buried there, keeping that perfect distance between them like a minefield. He wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t make the wrong move and was too nervous to step out into it. Steve cleared his throat and looked into the fridge once again.
"Uh… What do you want tonight?" He asked quickly and Eddie sniffed behind him.
"I don’t care. Everything you make is good.” Eddie said vaguely before standing up and grabbing a box of crackers out of the cabinet. He turned to Steve. “I gotta go do some work. Trying to figure out something important so… I might be there for a while. I’ll be back before dinner.” Now that he had cooled off he was back to the pensive attitude he had coming back from their walk. Steve pressed his lips into his mouth, biting them together and nodding into the fridge.
“I’ll just serve you a jar of capers.” He said quietly and Eddie snorted.
“You say that like I haven’t eaten that as a meal before.” Eddie bragged before leaving Steve alone in the kitchen to wonder what he had missed this time.
–
Steve had already started to make dinner by the time that Eddie snuck back into the house. Steve barely noticed him slip by, quiet and murmuring to himself into his recording device. He went right to the bathroom and Steve heard the shower start with a roar. He thought about the typical idea of a doctor. Someone well kept and fashionable, clean cut and amicable. Eddie seemed to be the opposite. Messy, unkempt, mumbling to himself and introverted. He was more of an evil genius type. When he emerged from the bathroom though, he looked fresh and slightly more at ease. He towelled off his dripping locs as he walked into the kitchen, falling into one of the chairs and pulling out his phone. The familiar music started to play from the speaker in the living room and Steve sighed as he stirred a pot of spaghetti noodles.
“Can you skip this one?” He asked loudly over the music. This band in particular was rough around the edges, punky with screaming words that were nearly unintelligible. Eddie looked up.
“Do you have a request?”
“What about those guys that yell but then they sing a little?” Steve said vaguely, hoping Eddie would catch on to who he was talking about. He didn’t care for the screaming, but the man who sang in between had a good voice. It was something that Steve looked forward to in the endless playlist. Eddie narrowed his eyes, thinking carefully.
“I think I know who you’re talking about… Tell you what…” Eddie looked down to the phone screen again, scrolling through and choosing something. “Listen to this one. Tell me what you think.” Eddie watched Steve’s reaction as the music changed into a smooth rhythm, sweet and soft. Steve nodded his head. He moved around the kitchen, listening as the man’s familiar voice lilted through the speaker. He salted the pasta sauce he was cooking before bracing himself at the counter, closing his eyes and smiling, letting the song soothe him. Eddie was still watching, leaning his head on his hand, his elbow on the table.
“You like it.” Eddie said simply and Steve nodded. His mind was swirling, the pressure building. The words were coming to him a moment before they came over the speaker. He opened his mouth, letting intuition fill the blanks just as he had the first time he had cooked in the kitchen.
♪
“I am warm enough
Yet, I still shiver
I am fed, but still I starve
You know me, I am the Greatness giver…
Always waiting on the clouds to part…”
Steve sang softly. The words came easily. He felt the warmth, the longing within them bursting from his heart all the way to his fingertips. It was a rush, it felt as if there was a surge of adrenaline. The excitement was like that morning when he had found Skull Rock. The hope, no, the confirmation . The realisation that the memories were still there. They were there, even if he couldn’t fully grasp them yet. He continued to sing, hearing Eddie’s voice joining him gently.
♪
“I’ll sing, lover come back
Lover come back to me
Won’t you ever come back?
Ever come back to me?”
Steve opened his eyes to look at the man. His face was pained, his eyes squeezed shut as he all but whispered the words to himself. Steve trailed off as Eddie continued alone.
♪
“How could I have been so foolish to let you leave?
Lover come back
Lover come back to me”
Steve watched as Eddie crooned tenderly, singing with such feeling that Steve felt his heart that had just filled up with so much air deflate rapidly. Eddie’s voice cracked, and he trailed off as his tone wavered. His face contorted and he cleared his throat roughly, lifting his head off of his hand and bringing his arms up to wrap around his head, both hands holding the back of his skull as his elbows raised high up, biceps blocking his ears. He started to breathe heavily and Steve felt panicked, worried for the man. He walked over to touch him, hoping to comfort but Eddie lashed out, smacking his hand away.
“I’m fine. I’m fine!” He said too loud, sounding slightly hysterical. The song ended and the two of them were left in its destructive wake. Steve stood in front of Eddie, unsure of what to do. Eddie looked down at his feet, slowly leaning over until his head was between his legs. He took a gulping breath, holding it and letting it go, counting numbers softly.
“-4… 5… 6… 7… 8.” He muttered and Steve licked his lips.
“Eddie-”
“M’fine. Good song. Love that one.” Eddie said forcefully, talking through his teeth as he sucked in another breath and held it, letting it go again. His body started to loosen. “Can you just finish dinner?” His words were simple but cut through Steve like a knife. They meant leave me alone, don’t come close, don’t look. Steve wanted to touch him, pull Eddie into his body and hold him tightly. A certain sadness was overwhelming him, as he watched the man breath slowly. But he pulled away. Because that’s what Eddie wanted.
“... Okay. Whatever you need.” He said, hopeful that they were the right words that would provide comfort. Instead Eddie’s breath hitched in a small sob.
“Whatever I need.” He repeated to himself softly. Steve frowned. The sadness deepened. He turned to the stove, yelping as he saw the noodles bubbling over the sides.
“Ah, fuck!” Steve rushed over, grabbing the tea towel and lifting the pot off the flame, twirling around and pouring it into the colander he had waiting in the sink. He looked back to Eddie once the small disaster was managed, but he was sitting back up now. He was rubbing at his eyes and stretching his neck out, telling himself something that Steve couldn’t quite make out. Steve sighed, turning back to the food and finishing up the meal quickly, plating up the dinner and bringing it to the table. He put a dish in front of Eddie who looked down at it, eyes welling up again.
“Lemon caper pasta.” He choked and Steve frowned.
“I… Is it okay? I figured you like pasta and you like capers… I wanted to cheer you up. You’re so off today and-”
“Course you did. You’re just…” Eddie took a shuddering breath before steadying his palms on the table. “It’s good. I’m… Just sit. Please.” Eddie gestured to the other kitchen chair before he picked up his fork taking a large bite of the pasta. Steve sat down slowly, watching Eddie and feeling helpless. The man hummed loudly, tears starting to spill over onto his cheeks. Steve frowned and leaned forward to touch his arm and Eddie jerked away.
“Eddie… I don’t understand… Please, what’s going on here, is this about Skull Rock? I'm sorry-”
“Good pasta! Really good. You should try it.” Eddie almost shouted around the food in his mouth, dropping the fork with a clatter. His voice was falsely happy, tears flowing down his cheeks. Steve’s heart ached.
“Eddie-”
“No, you’re right. You’re full. It’s fine.” Eddie laughed, pushing the plate from himself roughly and causing it to clatter on the table. Steve frowned. He wanted to fix this, he wanted to be able to do something but Eddie was already breaking down. He felt desperate, reaching to grab Eddie’s knee. The pulsing in his temple was back, telling him to stop, bring it back, but he couldn’t help himself. He pressed his fingertips into the man’s thigh trying to force serenity into him.
“Calm down, come on. Just take a breath, tell me what-” Steve tried again but Eddie just tilted his head back and moaned wordlessly, sobbing loudly.
“I wish you would just fucking eat something. I wish… Fuck! What have I been fucking doing? ” He gasped on his tears before pushing Steve’s hand away roughly. He stood up suddenly, scooping up the plate and walking toward the door. “Don’t… Just don’t.” Eddie couldn’t even get out the rest of the words and Steve looked at him with rejection and defeat. Don’t what? Don’t follow me? Don’t touch me? Eddie seemingly couldn’t take anymore and he walked out the door, storming out to the workshop. Steve turned his eyes slowly down to the plate he had made himself. Did he not usually eat? He couldn’t remember. He held his stomach carefully. It wasn’t growling or aching for something to fill it. Hadn’t he had a big lunch? He picked up the fork and twirled it into the noodles, lifting it up and staring at it. Eddie said it was good but for some reason it didn’t seem appetising at all. Why would Eddie be upset about this? Steve moved the fork to his lips but his mouth wouldn’t open. He paused. He blinked. His mind flickered.
Why should he eat if he isn’t hungry?
Steve dropped the fork and looked down at the pasta.
Eddie wanted him to eat something. That’s why.
He picked up the fork.
But it didn’t make sense, why over indulge and make himself sick?
Steve dropped the fork again. He stared at the food, breath quickening. It would make Eddie feel better if he would just fucking eat something . Steve grabbed the entire plate. He stood up.
The plate shattered against the wall. Spaghetti and capers landed on the floor mixed with lethal shards of broken porcelain. ' Now no one can eat it ' Steve thought to himself, shoulders heaving and mind racing. His entire body was screaming at him. He stumbled, gripping the back of the chair tightly before he fell to his knees. Steve started to sob, his chest constricting and heart pounding, soft sounds of sadness escaping him as he stared at the mess. He reached up to touch his cheeks in confusion.
Because the tears wouldn’t come.
Part Three:
Persuasion
Eddie sat on the edge of a white desk in a sterile looking room, surrounded by glass walls. There were people walking around in the distance, holding files and wearing all white suits covered with lab coats. The sandblasted Vecna logos, a simple clock face with the hands in a typeset V were the only thing obscuring the view. He sat casually, wearing his torn jeans and sneakers, baggy shirt half tucked in and hair frizzy. He looked younger. Happier. His cheeks were more rounded and he was leaning back casually on the desk as he kicked his feet.
“You’re gonna wear a path in the linoleum.” Eddie said teasingly. Steve had been pacing in front of him, back and forth while biting his nails, holding a tablet. He stopped, glancing at Eddie nervously.
“They’re gonna know.” Steve muttered and Eddie’s eyes widened. He jumped off the desk, rushing Steve and putting a finger up to his lips.
“Hey. Don’t do that.” He looked over Steve’s shoulder at a passerby in the distance. They didn’t seem to notice the two men, too consumed by their own work. Steve sighed.
“Sorry… How are you so relaxed?” Steve whispered and Eddie moved his hand so that it ran through Steve’s hair, pushing it away from his face.
“Maybe because of all that stress relief this morning.” He waggled his eyebrows and Steve laughed, pushing him away. Eddie grinned, throwing his hands up and twirling around, talking to the room. “Maybe ‘cause Vecna doesn’t scare me. Not when I’m with you.” He looked at Steve and smiled broadly. Steve smiled back, biting his lip and shaking his head.
“Wish I could go back in time and see your face if I told you that you’d become such a romantic.” Steve chuckled, looking down at the tablet. He sighed. “They’re late.”
“Surprise, surprise. For being so nuts about clocks, the dude sure sucks at being on time.” Eddie walked back over to hop onto the desk again, picking at his ear with his pinkie finger. Steve smacked his lips.
“Seriously. Do you think he’d like it if I pointed out that lack of punctuality is a decidedly human flaw?” He smirked at Eddie who barked with laughter, tossing his head back.
“I dare you. Would love to see his face.” Eddie snickered, leaning back once again. Steve watched him softly, wandering over and placing the tablet on the surface beside Eddie and slipping in between the man’s legs. Eddie spread his thighs for him easily, as if it was second nature. Steve steadied his hands on the desk on either side of Eddie’s hips, leaning in and resting his head on Eddie’s shoulder. He turned his face so that his nose touched Eddie’s throat, and he watched the skin rise into small bumps as his breath washed over it.
“When this is all over, I want to go somewhere.” Steve spoke softly and Eddie nodded.
“Yeah? Like a vacation?”
“Yeah. Just you and me. Go somewhere where it’s not so dry. Maybe one of those all inclusive things.” He closed his eyes, imagining an ocean, palm trees, endless drinks with stupid little umbrellas. Eddie hummed, putting an arm around Steve’s lower back.
“Sure. We can get drunk together. Drink a sex on the beach. Have sex on the beach. Sounds like my kind of party.” Eddie said playfully and Steve tilted his head up a small amount, his smile pressing on Eddie’s throat, lips dragging across and teasing. Eddie sighed and tilted his head. “Woah, big boy. You’re gonna get me all hot and bothered in the office, I thought you wanted to play this cool?”
“Cool for them. Not you. I’ll warm you up any time.”
“Quite bold of you two for an office made up entirely of glass.” A deep voice came from the doorway. Eddie groaned and Steve stepped back quickly, picking up the tablet and clearing his throat. His face was a deep crimson and he straightened his ill fitting dress shirt that he had put on for the occasion.
“You’re the one who’s late.” Eddie said casually, jumping off the desk and Steve gave him a conspiratorial little look before taking a breath and nodding to the man in front of him who wore an all white suit. He was older, thin, and pale. He held his hands behind him and gave Eddie a thin smile.
“I’m a busy man, Mr. Munson.” He said patiently before turning to Steve. “Always a pleasure, Mr. Harrington. Why don’t you give us your update. Any new design sketches?” He pushed and Steve nodded, swiping the tablet open and turning it.
“Of course, Mr. Creel. As you know, things are coming along fine with design-”
Steve’s voice started to fade out and the office started to blur, turning into a smoke and fading away. Steve looked around, confused and reaching out, trying to grasp things. He swung around to Eddie. The man faded into particles, lifting into the air. The world was turning dark. Steve looked at his own hands as they disappeared into the dark. His eyes closed.
When Steve opened his eyes again he was back in his bed at Eddie’s house. He sat up quickly, looking around frantically, pulling the sheets off of himself and looking at his clothes. He was wearing grey sweats and the yellow sweater that he had found in the box that Eddie had left him. Exactly what he had changed into the night prior after cleaning up the meltdown he had in the kitchen and taking a long shower where he had desperately tried to cry. He had wanted to. He shook like he was, but the tears never came. Steve had put on the clothes after, not bothering to dry his hair and he had waited in the living room for hours waiting for Eddie to come back, but he never did. Eventually Steve had moved to his bed, laying in wait for the man to peer into his room as usual but the light never came. Slumber took him but something strange happened. He dreamt. Such a vivid one too, down to the sensations and feelings. The words were clear and perfect, Steve didn’t miss a beat. He had never imagined anything like that before. It was like being part of a movie scene. He rubbed his face with his hands, swinging his feet over the side of the bed and standing up, running his hands through his tangled locks, knotted from sleeping on damp hair. When he made his way out to the kitchen, Eddie was waiting there, coffee in hand and whiskey bottle on the counter. It was full, but he stared at it like it was calling to him. Steve tapped the door frame nervously, alerting the other man to his presence.
“Uhm… Hey. Can I come in?” Steve asked quietly and Eddie looked at him, dark circles under his red eyes. He looked like he had been up all night. He looked like he did when Steve first got to the house. Steve’s heart ached. Eddie took a breath and pointed to the chairs at the table.
“Yeah. We need a session.” He said evenly. It sounded robotic, too calm for what he looked like, wearing yesterday’s clothes. Steve thought of the version of Eddie he had seen in his dream, the carefree looking man in his dark attire. The way he had teased and joked. The way his cheeks had been full and rosy rather than pale and sunken as they were now. Steve wanted to cry again, but he knew it was no use. He sighed, walking over to the chair without protest, sitting and putting his hands on his thighs, looking up through his lashes at Eddie expectantly.
“Come on then.” He beckoned gently and Eddie sniffed, taking a drink of coffee before pulling the recorder from his pocket in a familiar move. He walked up to stand in front of Steve, looking down at him stoically.
“Day sixteen of observation for subject 91110. Do you feel any pain or otherwise odd sensations.” He asked dutifully and Steve nodded.
“Yes, I do.” Steve said honestly. Eddie pressed his lips together.
“Pain?”
“Yes.”
“Where.” Eddie leaned over to look him over, his face slowly turning to concern. Steve raised a hand to his chest.”
“Right here. In my heart.” He whispered, catching Eddie’s gaze and holding it. Eddie stared at him for a moment before breaking eye contact and looking at the wall.
“Not that kind of pain.” Eddie muttered and Steve shrugged.
“You asked.” Steve lowered his hand again. Eddie made a fist and put it to his forehead, pressing it there and squeezing his eyes shut.
“Thank you, yes. What about sensations like… Do you feel like you’re getting touched when you’re not? Maybe feeling wet when there’s no water? Numbness?” Eddie listed things off as he moved around to the back of Steve, parting his hair and touching the back of his head. Steve frowned. Eddie was acting like nothing had happened the day before. Like it was all just fine. Like Steve wouldn’t remember how he had cried, how he had broken down out of nowhere. He shivered as Eddie ran his finger down his scalp like the spine of a book.
“... No. No weird stuff like that… Eddie, about last night-”
“Don’t worry about it. Dishes break.” Eddie said quickly. Steve froze. Of course he knew about the dish. He had likely watched Steve drop it in the camera. It had been an accident. Steve felt a sharp sting to his temple. No, it wasn’t an accident. He had done that intentionally because… Because why? Steve grunted in frustration and Eddie lifted his hand.
“Did that hurt?” He said softly and Steve shook his head.
“I broke that dish.”
“I… I know. It’s okay.”
“I did it on purpose.” Steve gritted out. Eddie sucked in a breath.
“... Can you tell me why?” He asked slowly and Steve bit his lip.
“... Fuck. No. I can’t, goddammit. You know I can’t. Why can’t I?” Steve spoke with irritation, angry with himself and his mind. Eddie walked around to the front of Steve again, grabbing his coffee.
“Just a side effect of the procedure. It’s normal. You’ll forget things sometimes.” Eddie wasn’t looking at him, he was typing something with one hand into his phone. Steve threw his hands up exasperatedly.
“I don’t want to just forget shit. I can barely remember anything, I don’t want to lose what little I do have!” He spoke with chagrin. Eddie dropped his hand down like a weight and rolled his eyes tilting his head to Steve and looking at him with annoyance.
“Well that’s not really for me to fix. I just take the information. That’s it.” He stated, emotionless. It was forced and Steve felt blindsided by the statement.
“That… That’s it?” Steve repeated and Eddie sighed, putting his coffee down and running a hand through his hair.
“Yeah, man. That’s it. You’re here so I can observe you. Eventually you’ll head back to Vecna and they’ll do whatever they want. I can’t… I can’t do anything about that.” He glanced over at the liquor bottle that he had taken out earlier with a look of desperation. Steve wasn’t ready for him to run away. He stood up quickly, walking up to Eddie before he could grab the bottle and trapped him at the counter by planting his hands on the composite surface on either side of the man. Eddie yelped shortly, surprised by the sudden movement. The position triggered Steve’s memory from the morning.
“I had a dream.” Steve whispered, close to Eddie’s face. Eddie turned to him, noses almost touching. His eyes were wide and Steve looked deep into them, looking at the mixture of chocolate brown.
“...No you didn’t. You can’t.”
“What do you mean I can’t.” Steve said lowly and Eddie spluttered.
“I mean-... The procedures that were done… You just can’t anymore.” He finished and Steve pressed in closer, speaking into his ear.
“You’re wrong. I had a dream. Do you want to hear it or not?” His voice rasped and Eddie swallowed.
“...Yes.”
“Turn off the recorder.” Steve demanded and Eddie moved his hand across the counter compliantly under Steve’s, finding the small device and clicking the button. Steve nodded and Eddie turned back to him once again. They were so close now, Steve had been moving in little by little, so when Eddie moved his head, his nose bumped against Steve’s.
“Alright. Tell me your dream then.” Eddie spoke tremulously, breath hot and face red. Steve looked down at his lips, watching as his tongue flicked out to wet them, a nervous action.
“We were at Vecna. Waiting for a meeting. There was something that we were presenting.” Steve started off and Eddie listened carefully. “You looked… Like yourself. So out of place there in that white office. You were sitting on a desk. I told you… I told you I wanted to go on a vacation.” Steve’s eyes were closing, he wanted to get closer. It was intoxicating to be so fucking close to the man. He thought about how they were in the dream. He thought about how he had seen that vision of Eddie before the time event, face flushed and eyes wanting. He wasn’t sure it was a hallucination anymore.
“...That’s not possible.” Eddie whispered and Steve carried on.
“You were so kind… I was nervous but you kept me calm.”
“This… This isn’t right.” Eddie choked out as Steve moved his head so that his lips were just barely grazing Eddie’s skin.
“I was close to you like this. I had my mouth on your neck, just like this. You liked it… You called me ‘big boy’, said I was going to get you hot at the office.” Steve whispered, head swirling. That burning heat was building inside his chest like it had before, the tension at his temple was saying to keep going. Good boy, tell him everything. Keep going . Eddie made a small strangled noise. Steve continued. “I wanted you, Eddie. In my dream… I wanted you.”
“... Did a man come in… In your dream, was there a man in a white suit?” Eddie gasped the question. Steve nodded against him.
“Mr. Creel.”
Steve yelped as Eddie suddenly pushed him away, gasping for breath and face red. His eyes were wide and watery. Steve stepped back, feeling dizzy. The tension in his head pleaded for him to push back, not to let go. He grabbed at his hair and grunted. Eddie had tears running down his cheeks, hands clutching the fabric of the t-shirt at his chest.
“I can’t do this… I can’t fucking do this! There’s no way… How would you know that?” He sobbed, twirling around on the spot, clearly unable to decide whether he wanted to run. Steve started to stumble away and Eddie focused in on him, narrowing his eyes. “Hey, I’m talking to you! How did you fucking know that??” Eddie raised his voice and Steve shook his head, still struggling to stay standing.
“I told you, I dreamt it…” He gritted out. Eddie scoffed, waving his arms around in front of him.
“No! No fucking way, that’s not possible! I’m telling you it’s not possible!” His words were coming in little choked sobs now and Steve grabbed onto the chair to try to stay stable.
“Well what else do you want me to fucking say, Eddie!” Steve yelled, squeezing his eyes shut. His head pounded, moving from pressure to pain. “I’m telling you the truth. If I’m gaining memories, if there was something between us then just fucking tell me! God, please, just tell me!” He looked up to Eddie desperately, his mind screaming for more, to go to the man. Eddie stood rooted to the spot, chest rising and falling rapidly. He looked scared.
“Power off.” He spoke, dark and clear. Steve looked at him.
“What?” He hissed and Eddie’s face grew more fearful. He shrunk back against the cabinets.
“P-... Fuck, POWER OFF.” He stuttered and Steve tried to straighten up. He looked at him, locking eyes and feeling like he had been shot. Eddie stared at him, the tears dripping from his chin, rivulets streaming down onto his shirt.
“Eddie… What the fuck are you doing?” Steve whispered. Drowsiness was creeping up his spine and he could barely hold himself up anymore. Eddie choked on a breath, wheezing and crying out. He scrambled across the counter, swiping the bottle of whiskey that still sat out and moved to the door quickly, never taking his eyes off of Steve as if he was worried that he may attack. Steve watched helplessly. He couldn’t fathom that Eddie thought that Steve might try to hurt him. How could he ever think he would ever do anything to hurt him? Eddie opened the back door.
“Don’t fucking follow me.” Eddie demanded and he ran off, the door slamming behind him. Steve sobbed, collapsing to his knees on the floor.
“What the… What the fuck is happening to me?” Steve gasped, looking at his hands and moving them lightly, squeezing them into fists and then letting go. His eyelids fluttered as he desperately tried to fight the darkness engulfing his mind. A voice in his head whispered to him.
Fight it.
“I’m… I’m trying… I’m try-...” Steve inhaled the words, slumping forward.
God dammit , Fight!
“... I can’t…” Steve whispered. The world went dark.
–
Steve woke up in his bed. It was strange. He felt like he had been missing something. His brain felt like it had been reset and the memory of how he had gotten there was hazy. He sat up, looking around and down at himself. The room was dark, it was clearly late into the night. He was still wearing his yellow sweater and sweats. Steve ran a hand through his hair, trying to remember how he had gotten there. He had woken up in the morning. There was the dream he had. Eddie was in the kitchen. Then what? He shook his head and heard a crash in the kitchen, followed by swearing. Steve threw the blankets off, rushing out into the hall.
“Eddie? Are you okay?” Steve called out tentatively and the man groaned.
“Shit, you’re up?” Eddie slurred. Steve frowned. It had been a while since Eddie had drank. He felt nervous as he rounded the corner, looking at Eddie scooping up glass off of the floor. Steve made a noise of protest, rushing forward to stop him.
“Hey, stop! You’re gonna cut yourself, I’ll grab a broom.” Steve insisted and Eddie sat back on his heels, wobbling around. His eyes were glazed over and red. He shrugged.
“I dropped it.” He said simply. Steve scoffed, grabbing the broom and starting to sweep.
“Yeah, no shit. Get up, go sit on the couch or something.”
“Jus’ wanted some water.” Eddie stayed put, watching Steve sweep around him. “Slipped, I guess.” He whispered and Steve looked at him, slowing his movements. His brain was buzzing. He frowned, unsure of what led Eddie to drinking so much. The man in front of him could barely focus, he swayed and Steve tsked. He put the broom to the side, getting behind Eddie and slipping his arms under the mans, pulling him up with a grunt.
“Come on. I’ll drag you if I have to.” He muttered into his ear and Eddie sniffed.
“Pick me up. I’m too tired.” He whined and Steve sighed loudly. He adjusted himself and with less difficulty than he expected, he was able to pick Eddie up bridal style, walking him to the couch and laying him down. Eddie hummed a song and Steve recognised it as the one they had sung together at dinner a few nights ago. Steve looked away pensively. He hadn’t made dinner tonight. That was strange. Why had he gone to sleep so early? The morning was such a fog, Steve couldn’t pinpoint anything. Eddie moaned from the couch, snapping Steve’s attention back to him.
“Shit, maybe I drank too much…” Eddie mumbled, throwing a hand over his face. Steve put his hands on his hips, torn between wanting to chastise the man and wanting to nurse him back to sobriety. He bit his lip. Memories of the dream were coming back, the sweetness and comfort of their interactions filling Steve’s mind.
“Hey… Eddie, I had a dream this morning-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t tell me again.” Eddie muttered, waving Steve off. Steve furrowed his brow.
“What do you mean, ‘you know’?” He asked and Eddie laughed mirthlessly.
“Well that worked too well. I’ll have to fix that.” Eddie said mostly to himself. He fumbled around in his pocket, pulling out his phone and sliding his thumb across it clumsily. The device fell to the floor and Eddie made a soft oops. Steve kneeled down, picking it up and handing it back to him. Eddie looked at him, turning his head on the couch’s throw pillow. Steve sighed.
“I’m… I’m really confused. I think I lost some time again…” Steve said worriedly and Eddie hummed.
“Yeah… I’ll deal with it in the morning.” Steve paused, taken aback by Eddie’s lack of concern. He tilted his head, watching the man shift and get comfortable.
“I’m sorry I didn’t make dinner.” Steve whispered and Eddie groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.
“I never asked you to in the first place." Eddie said, stretching his neck out. Steve lifted a hand boldly to drift a finger down the tendon that popped up as Eddie pushed back into the pillow. Eddie inhaled deeply. “That’s not fair, why do you do that to me?”
“Because I want to… Because I can’t help it sometimes.” Steve said gently, trailing his hand up to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind Eddie’s ear. The man kept his eyes shut as if he couldn’t bear to look at Steve.
“Stop saying things like that. You can’t just want things. You can’t just do things. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Eddie carried on, lifting a hand to push Steve’s fingers away from his face. Steve frowned.
“What do you mean? I’m a fucking human being, I’m gonna just want to do things. Why do you do anything you do? It’s the same for me.” Steve dropped his hand to his thigh, staring at Eddie. The comments frustrated him. For some reason Eddie kept falling back into treating him like some lab project, like he was just a job. Steve could tell it was some sort of way to push Steve farther back. Every time it felt like there was progress, Eddie pushed him back to arms length. Eddie chuckled mirthlessly from the couch, rolling so that his face was toward the back of the cushions.
“I can’t figure you out. Everything seems to be fine and then you say dumb shit like that. So buggy.” Eddie’s words were muffled from the fabric. Steve leaned back further.
“Don’t be fucking mean, dude.” Steve scowled, ready to leave. He didn’t like this side of Eddie. He didn’t like him when he was drunk and stuck inside his head. Eddie snorted.
“What, are you gonna say you’re mad now?” He spoke condescendingly and rolled back over, facing Steve now and moaning softly, touching his head and wincing. “Oof. Dizzy.” Eddie mumbled and Steve felt another flare of anger jump in his chest. He knew he should walk away, but his temple was pulsing and telling him to stay. He sucked in a sharp breath through gritted teeth.
“Yeah. I’m fucking mad.” Steve spoke low and furious and Eddie’s eyes opened, looking at him like he was a child. As if he had said something so confidently wrong.
“Well, you can’t be!” Eddie laughed. He threw an arm in the air waving it around. “You can’t be fucking mad!”
“Who made you the fucking king of feelings?” Steve’s voice was raised now and he was leaning back in, challenging Eddie and staring him in the face. Eddie didn’t falter. He just stared back, expression bored and faded. Steve narrowed his eyes. “Why do you think you can tell me how to feel? Have a little fucking empathy here. I’m losing time, I can’t remember shit? Help me out!” He finished, throwing his hands up. Steve was done with the mad scientist act. He was over the games. Eddie, however, didn’t seem to be done with any of that. He suddenly reached out, holding Steve’s face and looking into his eyes deeply.
“What do you feel now?” Eddie asked abruptly and Steve went to push him away when the words in his head stopped him. Wait, please. Let me have this. Steve sighed and closed his eyes. He let the emotions bloom out and consume him. His blood rushed. His heartbeat quickened.
“I feel… Nervous. Excited.” Steve breathed out and Eddie hummed.
“Excited…” Eddie repeated, sliding his hand up into Steve’s hair to the back of his head, pulling him in closer. Steve’s mouth went dry. It was such a sudden change of mood, the vibe going from anger to heated tension. Though Eddie was never really angry, was he? He was just stating things, watching how Steve reacted. Maybe this was just more experimentation. More observations. I don’t care. I don’t care, just let me… God, Eddie… I’m so sorry. The voice in Steve’s head whispered and he pushed in closer.
“Excited… I like it when you touch me. Something inside me… Something wants to be close to you. It wants... I want-... Fuck, what do I want?” Steve said in hushed desire as Eddie pulled him in, eyes lidded and cheeks flushed.
“You want, you want, you want. What about what I want? I could just ask you… to…” Eddie rambled, rolling further on the couch to the point where their faces were so fucking close. Eddie’s lips were brushing against Steve’s as he spoke and there was barely a hair between them. One tiny move, one small jump. That’s all he needed. That’s all Steve needed. But Eddie was so drunk, it didn’t seem right. He couldn’t move forward yet his body wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t move away. Eddie’s eyes flickered over his face. “Steve…” He barely made a sound and Steve shuddered at the feeling of Eddie’s mouth brushing against his own. Without thinking, Steve went to lick his lips. His tongue flicked out and slid over Eddie’s bottom lip as he wet his own. Eddie’s eyes snapped wide open and he shot back, sudden realisation of what he was about to do dawning on him. He recoiled, his hand falling off Steve’s head quickly and he cleared his throat. Steve tried to recover.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” Steve started but Eddie was already rolling over again, burying his face into the couch and groaning.
“I’m too fucking drunk.” Eddie moaned, curling his legs up into his chest. Steve reached out desperately, stomach dropping through the floor into an endless swirl of regret. This was exactly what he didn’t want. Eddie, come on. Come on. Snap out of it.
“Eddie, I didn’t mean to-” Steve started and Eddie brushed off his hand, pushing into the couch further.
“No, no, no, I gotta… You gotta go. Go back to bed.” Eddie looked like he wanted the furniture to swallow him whole. Steve started to move to go back to his room but his body locked into place. Don’t you dare. He needs us. Steve pressed his fingers into his temples, rolling them around and hissing a slow breath.
“I can’t just leave you here… What if you puke or something and choke.” Steve said, struggling between the urge to leave the man to wallow in his own sad inebriation and the voice begging for him to stay. Eddie growled.
“Oh my god. I haven’t puked since 2062. I’ll be fine.” The muffled voice protested and Steve sat down on the floor, planting himself with great difficulty.
“I’m not leaving.” He said plainly and Eddie was quiet for a moment.
“Fine.” He conceded. “Sleep there for all I care.” The moment Eddie said it Steve’s bones seemed to turn to jelly. His muscles all relaxed in unison and he sighed deeply. A comfort. Silence overcame them and soon Eddie’s breaths evened out, a rhythmic and soothing sound. Steve leaned his head back onto the couch cushions.
Thank you.
“I don’t even know what I did…” Steve whispered at nothing before drifting off himself, closing his eyes. He barely registered when Eddie rolled over and draped a hand over his shoulder as he slept, connecting them even in dreams.
–
Steve was sitting on the couch in the living room, working on his tablet. Music played on the speaker behind him and he hummed the words softly as he moved the angle of the screen, sketching something and holding his fingers down to straighten the line. He smiled as it snapped into place, whispering song lyrics to himself.
“I want something else… To get me through this… Semi charmed kind of life-” He snapped his head up as he heard Eddie coming in through the kitchen, yelling the words.
“BABY! BABY! I want something else! Not listenin' when you saaay! GOODBYYYYE!” Eddie called out theatrically and Steve laughed, turning on the couch to look at the man standing in the threshold and leaning against the framing. He grinned at Steve, peeling off winter layers.
“Hey, you.” He said softly, his face gentle. Steve put the tablet down, stylus on top. He uncrossed his legs.
“Did you get any work done?” Steve asked and Eddie shrugged.
“You were right. It’s easier when you’re not there to distract me.” Eddie threw his jacket behind him. “I got through half of today’s docs. Are you proud of me?” He asked, strolling up in front of Steve. Steve laughed, spreading his legs and putting his arms behind his head. He leaned back on the couch comfortably, following Eddie’s movements with a smirk.
“So what does that mean, you want a reward or something?”
“Or something. You promised.” Eddie said pleasantly, walking right between Steve’s legs and dropping to his knees with a thump. He put his hands on Steve’s thighs, spreading them further and sliding his palms up towards the man’s hips. Eddie looked up at Steve through his lashes, his pupils lust blown and cheeks flushed from the winter cold. Steve felt his heart speed up and he swallowed thickly.
“I promised once you finished everything.” Steve chastised gently and Eddie tutted, sliding his cold fingers up underneath Steve’s sweater.
“Well meet me halfway then, fuck me a little.” Eddie said sweetly and Steve’s breath hitched. He had to look away from the man, taking a deep inhale.
“We are so behind, Eddie…”
“Yeah, well, work is dumb. I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Eddie raised himself up on his knees, working lazily at Steve’s jeans. He undid the button with ease and slowly started to unzip them. Steve made a soft hum of encouragement.
“I… dammit, I’ve been thinking of you too… That’s why I thought it would be good- Ah!” Steve made a sharp noise as Eddie slipped his hands down into Steve’s jeans, cupping him around the fabric of his underwear. “Fuck, good incentive…” He finished. Eddie grinned up at him.
“Consider me motivated. Come on, I know you want to. You’re not hiding it very well.” Eddie coaxed, rolling his fingers and massaging Steve. The man moaned softly, raising his hips.
“... Just a little.” His resolve was breaking down quickly and Eddie hummed, pulling his hand out and tugging on Steve’s jeans.
“A little.” Eddie confirmed and pulled the denim down as Steve lifted his hips.
“Like, a quickie.” Steve breathed, nodding and lifting his shirt as Eddie looked up with a raised eyebrow.
“Sweetheart, I am never quick.” He admonished and Steve snorted, pulling the yellow sweater over his head and revealing scars that covered a wide expanse of his abdomen.
“You don’t have to lie to me. We’ve been together for 10 years.” Steve chuckled and Eddie pouted, raising up high on his knees and reaching around to grab the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him close.
“Rude. Come here.” Eddie whispered before pressing his lips into Steve’s smiling mouth. The kiss was familiar and almost luxurious. Steve sighed into it, the feeling of Eddie pressed close to him, holding him firm was beyond compare. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get tired of it. He knew he definitely wasn’t past lusting for it. There wasn’t a day that they went without touching each other after the accident had happened. That was the day that Steve had decided he would never let the opportunity pass him by. He opened his mouth, letting Eddie languidly lick his way in, his tongue sliding along Steve’s lips. He pulled back slightly, smirking and pressing his forehead to Steve’s.
“You sure you just want a little?” He rasped and Steve shook his head.
“Fuck it. Give me everything.”
–
“Wake up.” Steve opened his eyes to see Eddie crouched down in front of him. He blinked a few times, trying to separate the vivid dream he had just come out of with reality. He stared at the Eddie that was here now. He had stubble growing in, his eyes sunken and red. His hair was pulled back and he was wearing the same clothes he had been the night before. The difference was night and day from the sweet, playful Eddie in his fantasy.
“W-... What’s going on?” Steve asked, hoarse and confused. He looked around him, realising that he had fallen asleep on the floor next to the couch. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to bring back the memories. Eddie had been drunk. Steve brought him to the couch. The voice in his head that begged him to stay. He glanced back at Eddie who was standing up now, albeit a bit wobbly.
“Fell asleep out here. My head is pounding, don’t talk so much.” Eddie mumbled, wandering into the kitchen while playing with his phone. Steve stood up slowly.
“How are you feeling?” Steve followed Eddie into the kitchen, looking down at the ground where the glass still sat, shattered and spread across the linoleum. Eddie snorted, grabbing a new glass from the cupboard and filling it at the sink before tossing a look over his shoulder.
“How do you think I feel?” He asked and Steve shrugged. Eddie sighed. “Bad. I feel bad.” He said sarcastically before turning off the tap and chugging the glass of water. As he drank he pointed to the kitchen chair. Steve looked over.
“You want to do a session…” He said softly and Eddie finished off the water with a loud gasp.
“Go on. Sit.” Eddie slammed the glass down, looking at his phone again. “Let’s make this quick. I gotta head to the lab for a bit. Car is on its way. I have to… I gotta figure some stuff out. Something isn’t lining up here, I need to know what.” Steve took a deep breath before trudging over to the chair and sitting down. Eddie wandered up behind him, clearing his throat. Steve heard the telltale click of Eddie pressing the button on the recorder.
“Day seventeen of observation for subject 91110.” Eddie stated, voice cracking from the hangover. He coughed and started to part the hair on Steve’s head. “Are you feeling any pain, weird stuff, you know the drill.”
“I’m hurting. Everyday you push me away.” Steve said, hushed and voice pained. Eddie moaned softly, annoyed.
“You know that’s not what I mean. Come on, I don’t have the patience for the runaround today-”
“What made you hate me so much…” Steve whispered and Eddie stopped.
“What do you mean?” Eddie asked and Steve sniffed.
“I had another dream last night.” Steve started sadly. He closed his eyes. There had been so much love, so much happiness there in that dream. Eddie touched him so hungrily. He wanted to be there with him. Day after day, year after year. Eddie dropped his hand.
“I don’t… I don’t hate you. I couldn’t… I could never hate you…” Eddie said quietly. Steve’s breath hitched. A small sob escaped him.
“In my dream… You loved me.” He breathed and Eddie went silent. Steve turned in his chair, looking up to face him. He continued on, staring into Eddie’s watery eyes. “What did I do, Eddie? Is it because I left you? I didn’t mean to… I wouldn’t ever… I mean the me that was there before, that you knew… I would never leave you on purpose.” Steve begged and Eddie lifted his hand to cover his mouth, face washed over with agony.
“Hey… You can’t do this to me… Don’t do this-”
“Whatever I did, whatever happened… Can’t you give me another chance? Can’t you just tell me what happened? I feel like I’m going fucking crazy here, Eddie! I feel… Fuck, I feel so alone …” Steve inhaled shakily and Eddie stared at him, pain in his sleep deprived gaze.
“I… You never did… God, how am I supposed to answer this? No one ever said…” Eddie dropped his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. Steve stood slowly, walking around the chair and gently grabbing Eddie’s wrists, pulling them away. He looked at Eddie with desperation.
“In my dream we were so happy.” Steve whispered and Eddie choked on a sob, looking behind him at the door. Always searching for an escape.
“I can’t do this. I told them, I can’t fucking do this .” Eddie pulled at Steve’s grip but not in any serious way. Not really trying to get away. Steve pulled him in, face screwed up in sadness, confusion, and everything else he struggled with.
“Eddie, please…” You’re gonna break him. Stop, it’s too much. Steve leaned in despite what the words in his head hissed at him. He slowly guided Eddie backwards, leaning him gently into the wall, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and shoulder. Eddie let it happen easily, taking a shaky breath and tilting his head up.
“Steve… I miss you so much, I couldn’t… I couldn’t get back up. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry…” He started to babble, tears streaming down his face. Steve let go of the man’s wrists and slowly slid them around his waist, bringing Eddie close and lining their bodies against each other. Eddie put his hands on Steve’s chest, but he wasn’t pushing him away anymore. He gripped the yellow fabric tightly, pulling it and pressing his head against Steve’s, his tears falling into chestnut locks. Steve started to mumble into Eddie’s skin.
“It was winter. You came in the back door, singing. You came to see me on the couch. You were on your knees for me, you told me you had been thinking about me-”
“Oh god… Oh my fucking god-”
“When we kissed I thought I’d never miss another day in my life without touching you-”
“Stop, stop, stop, I know this one, I know it, Steve-”
“I told you to give me everything …”
“I did… I did, every day, I fucking did .” Eddie sobbed, letting go of Steve’s shirt and moving his hands up to grab Steve’s face, pulling him up to look into his eyes. “I gave you everything … And then you left with all of it. I don’t have anything left.” Eddie’s tears fell between them and he pressed his forehead into Steve’s. The voice was back, screaming.
“You were so good, you didn’t do anything wrong! Tell him he didn’t do anything wrong, tell him I love him so much, you stupid fucking thing! Tell him… God, tell him how perfect he is, tell him… Do anything, DO SOMETHING! Don’t just let him… Don’t just let him hurt, Jesus Christ …”
“All I ever wanted was to be with you… I didn’t care about the rest, I could have just stayed here with you. You were the only thing… The only thing… ” Eddie wept and Steve pushed him into the wall with more pressure, sliding his leg between Eddie’s thighs. His hands trailed up Eddie’s sides before caressing his cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. Eddie let him with small gasps and sighs, a shudder rolling over him at the soft touches.
“Eddie… Let me…” Steve whispered and Eddie gave a nearly imperceptible nod. The final straw that broke, sounding out like a snap in Steve’s mind. Loud and clear. He moved forward, capturing Eddie’s tears between their lips. Eddie made a soft broken noise between a sob and a moan, but he pressed into the kiss. Desperate, longing, pain and agonising memory all mixed in. Steve wanted to cry. He could hear the sound of his own anguished weeping inside of his mind. Screaming out, cursing everything that led them to this point even though Steve didn’t even know what that could be. All he knew was that in this moment, here and now, kissing Eddie, holding him, tasting him. It was everything. It was the everything that he had asked for before and forever. This is what everything had always meant. He opened his mouth slightly, delving further, hungry for more. Eddie complied, soft sounds of gratification escaping him. Steve pulled him closer, tilting his head, deepening the kiss, pressing his thigh up against Eddie who moaned softly, his hands moving all over Steve wherever he could reach. His arms, chest, neck. He traced between the moles on his skin, he complied perfectly to Steve’s every movement. Like they had done this before. Like they had always been here. Steve moved his lips down Eddie’s throat, biting and licking while he let his hands drop back down around the man’s waist. Eddie gasped and moved with him, rocking as Steve pulled him close, forcing his body to grind against him.
“Ah, fuck… I wanted this so much… Wanted you so bad…” Eddie pleaded and Steve continued to explore him, sliding his hands under the faded shirt Eddie wore and working his fingers into the dips of Eddie’s lower back, gliding over muscle and bone. Mapping everything he couldn’t believe he would have ever forgotten. He pulled up the shirt further, revealing artwork and scars, wide expansive rough skin that healed long ago. Eddie easily let Steve pull the shirt over his head before springing back to capture his mouth again. His movements, the sounds he made; they all were quickly becoming more frantic, more urgent. A starving man being given a meal and no limits. He bit at Steve’s lips, his teeth rough and painful. Steve let him, he took every offering with pleasure, gasping into him and lifting Eddie’s lithe body easily into him. He felt Eddie getting hard against him, lighting a fire in Steve as well. Eddie was losing himself, mouthing against Steve desperately. Steve growled, a gate opened within him. He picked Eddie up, hands under the man’s thighs and Eddie responded quickly, wrapping his legs around Steve’s waist and ready to go wherever he wanted. Steve carried him to the couch easily, Eddie not breaking contact and kissing him fervently the whole way until Steve dropped him down onto the cushions, climbing over him swiftly. He slid a hand into Eddie’s hair, pulling back gently and whispering into his ear, repeating everything that the voice in his head was rambling on.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, look at you. I missed you so much, I want to fuck you. I wanna feel you again, make you whole again. I’m gonna make you feel so good. Stop crying, baby. I got you. I got you now.” Steve cooed and stroked Eddie’s hair softly with one hand while reaching down between them, tracing the pathways of his skin before landing at the button of his jeans and flicking it open. Eddie panted, looking up at Steve with stars in his eyes.
“Yeah… Yeah, I missed you too, fuck I missed you so much Steve… You have no idea…” He whimpered, tugging at Steve’s sweater and pushing it up the man’s torso. Steve quickly raised his arms, letting Eddie tear the clothing off. He moved back to his ministrations, peppering soft and vehement kisses across Eddie’s chest as Eddie smoothed his hands out over Steve’s exposed olive skin. Steve felt his finger slow down and stutter. They were looking for something. Eddie stopped and pulled away from Steve slightly to look down. Eddie’s eyes snapped from half lidded lust to wide open.
“Wait… No… Wait-” He started to stutter as Steve went back to work, trailing his fingers down to Eddie’s pants, unzipping them. Steve spoke against his pale chest.
“I got you now, baby. It’s okay. It’s okay-” He coaxed gently, trying to soothe the man but Eddie was pulling back, scrambling.
“No… No, stop, this is… You’re not…” Eddie started to sob again, pushing Steve up and looking at him. Steve looked down at him, breathing heavily and looking confused.
“What? What’s.. Eddie, what’s wrong?” He asked softly, nerves prickling with the way Eddie was looking at him. His eyes trailed over Steve’s chest, flickering quickly and filling with tears yet again before he looked up at Steve’s face wildly.
“You’re… You’re not… Holy fuck… Oh my god, get off me. Get off me. ” Eddie sobbed, pushing Steve away. Steve jumped up out of confusion. What… What’s going on? Steve spluttered as Eddie jumped up off the couch, trembling and buttoning his pants. Steve followed after him, watching Eddie swiped his shirt from the floor, throwing it over his head and talking to himself frantically.
“It’s not him, it’s not him, it’s not him. Fuck, get it together you fucking mess, you fucking miserable piece of shit, you-” He dug into his pockets, finding a pack of cigarettes and bringing one to his lips, tears streaming down his cheeks. His hands shook so badly that he could barely start the lighter in his hands, but when he did he took a long terrible shuddering drag from the smoke, inhaling everything deeply. Steve followed him in desperate confusion.
“What do you mean… Eddie, what the hell is happening?” He begged but Eddie ignored him. He scooped his phone off of the table, pocketing it and pushing past Steve towards the front door. He stuffed his feet into big clunky combat boots that waited by the door, not bothering to tie them. When Eddie opened the door, the heat came in so intensely that air rushed past him, blowing his hair back and smoke into the house from Eddie’s cigarette. Steve followed him quickly, still frantic, still stuck in a state of shock. What did he mean? What did Steve do? Eddie walked out into the driveway quickly, yelling at the driverless car that sat running, waiting for him.
“Open up.” He demanded and the doors slid up into the roof as they had done before. Steve chased out behind him, bare feet burning as they hit the deck.
“Eddie! EDDIE!” Steve screamed, his heart pounding, chest heaving in sobs that he couldn’t control. Eddie just squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head and muttering to himself as he fell into the car, the door sliding shut behind him. The vehicle pulled away quickly, the wheels crunching over the gravel devastatingly. Steve ran down the steps, still calling out but it was too late. Eddie had already reached the road, turning and heading away from him. So far away. Steve stumbled, slowing to a stop. The heat of the air was suffocating. He stood there, dumbfounded and taking gulping breaths. What the fuck had just happened? They had finally made it, they had crossed that invisible line. What stopped him? Steve yelled out in frustration, turning on his heel and heading back up the steps into the house, slamming the door behind him. He grabbed his hair, pulling and sobbing. It was killing him, the sudden change. The way that Eddie had run away from him. He paced the living room, back and forth racking his brain for the reason. As he turned, Steve caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror that was hung on the wall, one of the last pieces of decor that remained in the house. He narrowed his eyes, walking up to it. Steve touched his bare chest, sliding his finger over the hair and smooth skin. He grabbed at his sides. The area was almost pristine, the only thing marking it being the moles that covered him. His temples burned.
“No scars… There’s no scars…”
Steve stared at himself. The memory he had, the dream. He had large scars like Eddie’s covering his stomach. He sniffed, wiping at his nose. Had they fixed that too during his procedures? Was it skin grafts? He shook his head. Was that what had triggered Eddie?
“I never wanted them there… I didn’t add them…”
“What do you mean… What the fuck are you?!” Steve yelled out loud at himself, gripping his head and scrunching his face.
“I’m you. But you’re not me.”
“... No… No, I’m Steve. I’m me, I know who I am.” Steve said to the voice shakily. The pressure in his head intensified.
“We made you. We should have never fucking done it. Now look. I ruined him. We fucking ruined him.”
“No! Fuck you, I am real! I’M REAL!” Steve screamed, voice going hoarse. Rage blinded him and he swung at the mirror. The glass exploded, shattering in all directions and sprinkling down like violent rain. The frame fell off of its wire and Steve’s hand blew through the wood panelling on the wall easily, splintering it and adding small pieces of wood into the mess. Steve drew his hand back out of surprise, thrown off by the sheer force he was able to put behind the blow. Shards of panelling fell down and Steve stared at his hand. It had small cuts sheared into the skin and bits of wood sticking out.
“See? No blood. No fucking blood. Do you get it yet?”
Steve looked at his hand, twirling it around and shaking it, trying to get the blood to flow. His mind raced.
“That’s… That’s not right. This can’t be… This can’t be right…” He whispered and dropped his hand to his side. He looked around frantically. Eventually his gaze landed on the back door, the glass in its window making a perfect image of the worn in path to the workshop out back. The workshop where Eddie spent all his time.
“Do you want answers?”
“... Yes… I… I want to know who I am…” Steve whispered out loud, stepping slowly toward the door. The pressure in his temple subsided as he gave up control to the voice in his mind. His body started to move on its own accord. Steve watched as his mangled hand reached out to turn the door knob.
“Let’s go have a look then.”
Part Four:
Tech
Steve stood in front of the door to the workshop, leg jiggling nervously. It wasn’t as if Eddie had ever told him outright that he wasn’t allowed in, but it had been implied. This wasn’t his space. This wasn’t his home. It was Eddie’s reprieve. But now he stood there waiting as if someone would invite him in.
“You don’t need a command. You have me. Just go.” The voice egged him on and Steve swallowed, the heat of the August sun burning his skin. He looked at the pinpad, pressing his lips together nervously.
“I… I don’t know the code.” He whispered and the voice laughed, a bell sounding in his mind.
“You don’t need it. Come on. Use your imagination, nimrod.” Steve frowned, lifting his broken hand and wiggling his fingers in the sunlight. He placed his hand over the buttons, gripping the edges and squeezing. The metal of the device crumpled easily in his grip, sparking lightly and beeping loudly before the pressure released on the metal doors. Steve looked back at the now hissing metal, pushing with his other hand. The door slid open easily. There was a slow clap inside his mind.
“Well done, Terminator.” The voice said sardonically and Steve sighed, wishing he knew how to shut it up. He let go of the pinpad, letting it drop on the ground with a crash before walking into the darkness of the workshop, sliding the door shut behind him. As he turned back around, sensor lights came on, brightly revealing a hallway that seemed to lead down into the ground. Steve took a deep breath, unsure if he really wanted to continue. The pressure in his mind shoved his leg forward and he stumbled, yelping.
“Fine. Jesus…” Steve muttered as he fell into the movement and headed down the hallway, lights coming on as he made his way. Eventually it opened up, and the workshop came into full view. Steve looked around in awe. It was at least twice the size of the shed above it and the walls were a silvery metallic insulation. There was all sorts of tech and devices, screens as tall as Steve glowing with the images of human skeletons, x-rays that were circling in 360 degrees. There were two separate desks that were across the room from each other. Steve walked up to one that he assumed must be Eddie’s. There was a picture of him with Robin, another man with curly hair and dimpled cheeks, and Steve. His eyes widened and he picked up the frame. They all were laughing heartily, arms around each other.
“Robin…” He whispered and the voice in his head sighed.
“Dustin too… I love that picture. I’m glad he kept it. ” Steve made a face before putting the frame back on the desk and investigating further. There were used coffee mugs, the ones that never made it back inside, as well as snack containers and old dishes. There were notepads half full with messy scrawl, a cup full of many sided dice, and empty bottles of whiskey. The garbage can was full of used tissues. A little Bluetooth speaker shaped like a skull was on the edge of the desk covered in stickers and Post-it notes decorated the edge of the computer monitor with many different reminders of various ages. Steve smiled sadly. It was all very much how he would expect Eddie’s workspace to be.
Steve turned around to look at the other desk. It was tidier than Eddie’s, no food wrappers or cups. There were more pictures. Steve walked over to look at them. Some were of him and Eddie, some with Robin. Even a few with Dustin. There was one photo that was larger than all the others that caught Steve’s attention. He picked it up, wiping at the glass with his sleeve. It was a group photo that was obviously much older than the other ones. He recognised the place as being the living room of Eddie’s house. He could see himself, much younger of course. He was leaning against the edge of the couch smiling awkwardly and face red as Eddie was perched beside him like a gremlin, fingers behind Steve’s head making bunny ears. Robin was beside him, giggling and falling into a petite girl with dark hair and a narrow chin, smiling photogenically. Next was Dustin, grinning with a toothless smile, a red-headed girl sitting next to him with a serious look. Then came a boy with dark skin and fluffy hair, grinning and holding the red head. Another two boys came after that, one tall and gangly, covered in freckles; the other with large eyes looking anxiously at his friend. At the other end of the couch was a group of three squished together so they could all fit in the photo. A large man with a beard wearing a sheriff's uniform, a small motherly looking woman with a nervous smile, and a young girl with curly hair, smiling widely for the camera. Steve stared at it, letting his fingers trail over each person. His mind flashed with a sharp pain and he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and nearly dropping the picture frame. The voice in his head called out.
“H-Hey! Don’t break that, it’s important!” Steve put the frame down gently on the desk, sitting down in the office chair that was beside him. He felt dizzy and strange looking at the group of people. They were familiar and yet Steve couldn’t put his finger on who they were.
“This is… This is so frustrating.”
“It’ll come. Turn on the computer.” The voice spoke softly and Steve turned in the chair, tapping his finger on the top of the monitor and watching the screen come to life. The desktop had folders all over, marked in different ways. The desktop background was of Steve kneeling in the ground, arm around an old D.A.R.T. unit and giving the photographer a thumbs up. He was smiling and laughing, skin tan and hands covered in grease.
“Oh… It’s him…” Steve said gently, touching the screen.
“He was the first unit I rebuilt. Dustin started it, he taught me a whole bunch. I was useless at first but we managed to get that thing working. Donated it to the grocery store here in Hawkins.” Steve thought about how he had liked the thing so much. It would be too much to think that the machine would recognise him. Steve shook his head, searching around on the desktop until he found a folder named STEVEJOURNAL91110.MOV
“91110… That’s my case number…” Steve mumbled to himself, tapping it and opening the file. He was flooded with various video files, spanning back years. Steve raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “20… 2063? That doesn’t make any sense… I only had my accident 8 months ago…” Steve spoke out loud. The voice in his head was quiet. Steve scoffed. “Now you shut up…” He murmured. He scrolled the files, choosing one from years back. He sat back as his own face popped up on the screen, young and excited. He was sitting in the workshop, music playing behind him and face bright.
“Okay, here we go again. We made new progress on 91110 today. After a lot of deliberation we decided on its design. Not exactly my favourite idea, but I was outnumbered. We came to the decision because Creel seems to underestimate me. It’s likely that I’ll be able to get closest to him without raising suspicion. They’re not entirely wrong… I just… I’m not sure that he’s really underestimating me. I’m not smart like the rest of them. Eddie just picked up all the tech stuff so quickly… Robin and Dustin are naturals obviously… I dunno. I just feel like I don’t match up to the rest of them sometimes.” The Steve on the screen ran a hand through his hair and Steve mimicked him, following the movement. A nervous tic. On screen, someone popped into view. It was a young Eddie, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck and kissing his cheek. Steve’s heart ached at the sight.
“Hey, fuck off. You’re an artist, alright? We got this. We’re gonna burn that shit to the ground and you’re just as smart and important as everybody else.” Eddie spoke into his ear, holding Steve tightly. Steve flushed brightly, spluttering and pushing on Eddie’s face.
“W-when did you get here! That was private! Camera, turn off!” Young Steve panicked and the video ended. Steve frowned and scrolled up, looking for something closer to where he would have had his accident. He found where the videos hit 2072 and chose one from the beginning of the year. The screen lit up again and Steve’s face was there, pleased and tired.
“Good morning! First trials of 91110 are working perfectly! I can’t believe this is actually happening, finally. Diagnostic testing is going to start soon, Eddie’s been prepping like crazy. Watching this thing come to life… God, I feel closer than ever. It’s walking, talking-” Eddie interrupted again, walking behind Steve and playing with a little hacky sack, throwing it in the air and catching it.
“Not to mention it’s hot as fuck !” Eddie called out over his shoulder and Steve rolled his eyes, grinning and throwing a pen at Eddie who squawked loudly. “It was a compliment, jeez!”
“You gonna leave me for a bucket of bolts now?” Steve teased and Eddie came up behind him, kissing the top of his head.
“No one could replace you.” He said sweetly and Steve tilted his head up, smiling at Eddie.
“I love you.”
“Love you too. That being said… Would you consider a threesome? ACK!” Eddie jumped out of the way of Steve’s fist. “I was joking! Abuse!” Eddie yelped as Steve jumped up out of the chair and left it twirling behind him. The video ended. Steve sniffed. They looked happy. In love.
“We are… Were… I guess.” The voice said softly. Steve inhaled deeply, leaning forward. 91110 was a project. A device. A plan of some sort. So how did that connect to him? He scrolled to nearly the end of the list. He tilted his head, noticing a gap between 12/13/2072 and where the videos were marked as 08/04/2073. He stared at it for a moment. That would have been where his recovery would have been taking place. He tapped it, slowly leaning back and watching the screen. The image popped up. It was dark and at first Steve didn’t know what he was looking at. Then he realised. It was Eddie. He was laying with his head down on the desk, hair splayed out and covering his face. He stirred, pulling his hand toward him and the bottle of whiskey that he held came into view. He lifted his head and brought the bottle to his lips, taking a long drink. Steve sat forward in his chair, sadness burning in his chest. Eddie coughed and put the bottle down, sitting up straight. He pushed the hair out of his face and Steve could see the pale skin and deep set eyes that he had met the first day he had come to the house. Eddie took a deep shuddering breath and closed his eyes.
“Well… This is the first time I’ve done this since the accident. Uhm… Robin finally got to me, she’s bringing it from the lab tomorrow. They’ve been leaving all sorts of messages… You know… Saying that Steve would have wanted me to finish the project. They still need to finish the diagnostics. Robin says that now Creel wants 91110 finished so bad it’s gonna be even easier to execute the operation but… Fuck.” He choked on his words, tears spilling over his cheeks. “I dunno if I can do this, baby. You were right. We should have made it look like someone else. We should have… God, how the hell am I supposed to do this without you?” He started to sob, rubbing at his eyes furiously. “Fuck, camera off.” He choked and the screen froze there. Steve watched with his hand covering his mouth. That was the day before he arrived at the house. His heart pounded.
“Keep watching, come on. You wanted to know.” Steve nodded, trying not to think too much. He just needed the information to come. Then he would know. Then he could process what was happening to him. He double clicked on the next video.
-Click-
Eddie showed up again, sitting there and tapping his fingers.
"It… uh…" He coughed, crossing his arms after. "It looks just like him. It's not taking orders immediately, though. Seems like there's some sort of delay. I mean, we wanted the AI to be realistic. I guess saying no is pretty fucking realistic." He wiped his face and leaned back in the chair, groaning.
"Fuuuuuck… It talks like you too… How am I going to fuckin' do this…" Eddie lamented before tapping something on the keyboard, freezing the screen. Steve started the next video.
-Click-
Eddie appeared holding the note that Steve had written in his first days at the house. He was staring at it intently, eyebrows furrowed and eyes watery.
"It uh-... It drew this little thing. Look." He held the note up to the camera shakily. The tiny happy face smiled into the screen before Eddie pulled it away. He sniffed, grabbing another piece of paper from off screen. "It's the same…" He held the new piece of paper up, a different note from before on a Post-it from Eddie's computer.
Hey, don't forget to eat
I'll be back from the lab in time to make dinner.
Taco night ☺
Love you. ♡
Eddie pulled the note away, looking at both of them sullenly.
"I don't remember that being in the programming. I've been sitting here, looking at them and-"
“Eddie Munson! You’re gonna fucking melt your brain!”
"AH!" Eddie jumped, spinning in the chair and turning the music down. Robin walked into view behind him, hands on her hips.
"You're supposed to be doing diagnostics, not fucking hiding in here! You're just torturing yourself, Eddie-" She started into him but he waved his hands around, notes clutched in his fingers and shushed.
"Sh, sh, sh. Look at these. Look. They’re the same." He held them up to her face. Robin frowned, pulling them each from his hands.
"... Did Steve write these?" She asked softly and Eddie pointed to one.
"This one, but the other was from 91110." He said and Robin's eyes widened.
"’ Eddie, this is for you. Tried to make it strong to match your personality. ☺ … The robot is writing you love notes?" She looked up from it and Eddie smacked his face.
"That’s not the point, look at the smiley face. Did you code that?" He asked and she shrugged.
"I… Don't think so?… I mean, we did the typeset so long ago…" She sighed, looking sadly at Eddie. "Remember that? I made Steve write like 50 pages of examples." She laughed softly and Eddie pressed his lips together.
"Yeah, he was so whiny that night… Said we ruined his wrists, he wouldn't be able to do any sketches. He was icing it and everything." Eddie nodded, smiling sadly. Robin snorted, looking at the note.
"Such a drama queen." She whispered and Eddie chuckled.
"... Yeah. He was. God…" He started to sniff and Robin looked up quickly, moving in to hug Eddie.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry… Hey, come on. Come here." She spoke with tears and pain in her voice as she gathered Eddie into her arms, his sobs coming in a wave. He let her embrace him, pushing his face into her shoulder.
"This is too hard, Robin. It's really… It’s really killing me." Eddie choked out. Robin held him close, stroking his hair and shushing him gently.
“It’s almost over. We’re so close… Then we can shut Vecna down. Steve wanted this too, Eddie.” She spoke softly and Eddie and he held onto the notes, gripping them so hard that they started to crumple in his hands.
“The camera’s on…” He whispered, reaching over and tapping the keyboard and freezing the image. Steve moved on.
-Click-
“Man, That was funny. Steve would have loved that. A robot asking for the tablet to make an order. Like… what?!” Eddie giggled to himself. There was a small ping on another screen and he peered at it. “Oh, D.A.R.T. is here… Wait… Is it… Talking to it?” Eddie started to smile again.
“That’s fucking priceless, I’m sending that to Dustin.”
-Click-
“It made dinner without an order. That was surprising. Just like the cleaning thing. The AI functions are working almost… Too well.” Eddie sat back in the office chair, holding a plate of pasta and shovelling it into his mouth. “But the self preservation mode seems to be working its magic. Didn’t question why it wasn’t eating. Existential crisis has been averted so far. Can’t wait to see the look on Creel’s face once it all hits him.”
-Click-
“It went into recovery mode today. I don’t know what happened. I just walked in and… It was like it knew me. Like really… Knew me. I don’t know, maybe I’m going crazy. Anyway, it took me like ten minutes to get it back online. There must be a break in the code somewhere, I’ll send everything to Robin. See what she can find.”
-Click-
“Today was good, he was wearing that little blue shirt I… Wait.” Eddie paused and tapped his finger on the desk. “Not… Not ‘he’. ‘It’. It was. Dammit.” He swirled away from the screen.
“Camera off, shit.”
-Click-
“He was reading one of those books today. He’s always mouthing the words when he reads, what’s with that?”
-Click-
This time Eddie was sitting pensively, hands interlocked in a prayer on his chest. He was rocking slightly in the chair and biting the inside of his cheek.
“He… He knew the way to Skull Rock. I haven’t been there for a while. It was… There’s a lot of memories there.” He scrubbed at his face suddenly. “Where we made our promise… It makes sense that Steve would have wanted that GPS point in there. I’ll talk to Dustin about it. He would know.” He leaned back and sighed, holding his face in silence for a moment.
“Sometimes when he looks at me… It feels like he… I dunno. Like he wants to kiss me or something. I’m getting confused… Today was hard.” Eddie said into the air. He waved his hand around, wiping his face with the other. “Off. Off, off, off camera off.”
-Click-
Eddie was just sobbing in the chair. A plate of lemon caper pasta sat on the desk.
“How did he know the words?” He choked. An alarm went off on a different screen and Eddie looked up, sniffing. His eyes widened as he watched something and his body jolted when a crash sounded out. Steve could hear his own strangled yell in the background. Eddie stared nervously at the other screen for a moment.
“What… What the fuck… He just threw that… Why the hell would he throw that?” He whispered, standing up and tapping the keyboard.
-Click-
"He has memories. There's no way that was programmed in. It makes no sense. There's something wrong." Eddie was holding a bottle of whiskey, tapping it nervously. His face was pale. "I had to… I had to turn him off. I had to. He was gonna… He was going to kiss me… He had that look…" He trailed off, taking a swig of liquor.
"The fucked up thing is… I wanted him to. God, I fucking wanted him to. " He laughed mirthlessly. "What the fuck is wrong with me? He felt like… It felt like Steve. This is hell." He sniffed, taking another drink.
"I miss him so much and yet he's right here. It's so fucking unfair. I feel… I feel so fucking insane. Guilty. It's a fucking robot for god sakes. A goddamn robot." Eddie started to sob.
"Just a bot… So why do I still love him so much ? Stupid… Stupid. " Eddie chastised himself before turning off the camera.
-Click-
"I'm going to Vecna today. I need answers. There's too many anomalies. Of course we wanted it to be realistic… We wanted it to be identical. That's how we were going to get in. But this is… This is different. It's gaining memories it shouldn't, it's ignoring commands…" Eddie was biting his nail, chewing and shaking his leg. “He… It… It likes me. It remembers things that Steve could only know. Robin says that she only programmed the things he recited. The way he moved… talked. I’ve been reviewing all the transcripts that they entered and there’s nothing about that meeting at Vecna. Nothing.” He looked down.
“There weren't any recipes either… This whole time, I was so sure that he had added those… But they aren’t there. Something isn’t… How could he know?” Eddie shook his head, reaching over the desk to stuff his phone in his pocket. “I’m going to talk to Dustin. I’ll break down that fucking door if I have to.”
-Click-
Steve watched the screen go dark before bringing the files back up, a long list. That was the last entry. He stared at it, wordless. Mindless. He was in shock, and yet it had all made sense. Steve wasn’t who he had ever been told that he was. He wasn’t even human. Could he even call himself a he? A person? He looked at his ripped up flesh and timidly took his other hand, sliding a long tapered finger inside of one of the deeper slashes. He gasped softly when he felt cool sleek metal instead of wet bone. He recoiled, shaking his hand out and jumping up out of the desk chair. It spun in circles as he paced around the lab, increasingly anxious and panicked.
“What… How do I know all of this then? How could I… What are you? Some sort of software update? The fuck are you doing in my head??!” Steve yelled out loud, bringing his hands up to his temples and pressing hard. The voice in his head sighed.
“No… I’m Steve Harrington.”
“No, you’re not. Because according to all of that, Steve Harrington is fucking dead, okay?”
“Sure. My body is gone. But here I am. Convenient, right? That I just had one ready to go?” The voice spoke disdainfully, angry and tired. Steve rounded the lab, looking through papers and binders littered on tables and shelves. There were sketchbooks lined up and he took them down, hoping to find more information. The pages were filled with drawings of his own body. Moles and finger lengths charted in margins. Pantone colours noted with care. A detailed rendering of his own eyes looked back at him as he heard the voice whisper.
“Isn’t it funny? This whole time, we thought we had him. We thought we were going to change the world. But we just gave him everything he wanted on a silver platter.” Steve heard his voice, small and scared. It had the emotions that he wanted, the feelings he pushed into every sob. He looked at the eyes on the page which were more than anything he had ever been. The eyes of Steven Harrington, real and alive. Not whatever he was. Not whatever monster he had become. He dropped the book on the floor, stumbling back.
“What… What do you mean?” Steve asked brokenly, falling back into the desk. His heart was pounding in his chest, fluttering with existential horror. It felt as if the seams of who he was, everything that he knew, were becoming unstitched. The voice of human consciousness that had become so tangible in his mind became the downfall of whoever he thought he was. The creator. The original. Steve slammed his hand down on the desk to steady himself. The photograph of the group that he had looked at before toppled over, face down.
“What I mean is that… All Henry Creel ever wanted was to live forever. Now he’ll know that he can.”
–
Steve sat out in the driveway. Once he had left Eddie’s workshop, he walked through the kitchen and grabbed a kitchen chair, dragging it loudly through the house, through the glass and shattered mirror that still littered the floor and out the front door. He set it up in the sunshine, not caring about the heat anymore. Not now that he knew who he was. What he was. He sat down and crossed his arms, and from there, he waited. He felt the heat bear down suffocatingly on his skin but he never started to sweat, nor did he thirst. It didn’t matter in the end. Maybe he would overheat like a phone out on a car dash. Maybe his circuits would crash. He wasn’t even sure he knew that it worked that way.
“Not really.”
“Shut up, I wasn’t talking to you.” Steve grumbled, staring out at the road and waiting for the car to arrive, bringing Eddie home. He sighed. “Can’t you just explain everything? Just tell me… Show me everything?” Steve asked, looking up into the sky as if he would be able to see the speaker of the disembodied voice.
“I said. I can’t remember everything.” It spoke with annoyance and Steve snorted.
“Useless.” He muttered, crossing his arms more tightly and settling into the chair deeper. Finally, just at the point where Steve thought he might just walk to Vecna, the electric vehicle turned the corner, slowing down and stopping right in front of where Steve sat. A few moments passed, Steve could see Eddie staring at him through the window nervously. He said something to himself and ran a hand through his hair before the door of the car slid up and Eddie stepped out.
“Hey.” He said oddly.
“Welcome back.” Steve said, staring at him unmoving. Eddie looked him up and down. His eyes settled on Steve’s torn hand and he pressed his lips together into a thin line, nodding. Without another word, Eddie walked past Steve to the house. Steve could hear his footsteps thud on the stairs and through the house before the back door slammed. Steve knew that he must have walked through the shattered mirror and had now gone to look at the workshop door which Steve had crushed. Eventually Steve heard the front door swing again and Eddie’s steps stopped on the porch.
“Come on. Let’s talk.” He called out. Steve rolled his neck.
“About how I should be dead by now? Maybe I just run cold, right?” Steve called back sarcastically. Eddie sighed.
“Steve… Come in.”
“I’m not Steve though, am I.” Steve spoke coldly. A breeze rustled between the two and the silence felt like a slap in the face. If it wasn't clear before that Steve had finally realised his true nature, it definitely was now. Steve hated it. The sensations of discomfort that came with the anticipation of how Eddie would react. He wished that there were still birds that existed in the day to sing their songs and break up the silence. All there was now was air and quiet fury. Eddie shifted his weight and Steve could hear the movement on the wooden planks of the entryway. His response was less intense than Steve had expected.
“... That’s what I thought too.” Eddie mumbled and Steve finally looked over his shoulder. The man's face was covered in guilt. Steve looked down to his arm.
“Did you get the answers you were looking for?”
“Some.” Eddie whispered.
“Well… Me too.” Steve's voice was deadpan and irritated. Eddie snorted a small huff through his nose.
“Clearly, judging by the break and enter. Can you just come inside? We can… I can tell you everything.” Eddie pleaded and Steve took a deep breath.
“Let’s go. I want to help.” The voice soothed and Steve heaved a soft breath before standing up and turning towards the house to see Eddie standing at the door, leaning against the frame as he always did. Steve dragged the chair behind him, letting it thunk up the steps loudly. Eddie rolled his dry red eyes.
“Little bit dramatic.”
“Well, it’s in my software.” Steve snapped as he walked past Eddie angrily. Eddie winced as he followed behind him, letting the door shut.
“In my defense, you were never supposed to be this way.” Eddie said softly behind Steve as they entered the living room. That struck a nerve deep in Steve’s heart, infuriating him. As if it was supposed to make it better. As if knowing that his whole existence was a failure or break in the code was supposed to clear things up between them. He dropped the chair and it toppled over loudly. Steve turned around sharply on the other man.
“So keeping me in the dark, using me, experimenting, that’s all okay? Just because I’m not human means that you didn’t cross some sort of fucking line? Would it have all been okay if I didn’t react? Didn’t feel anything for you?” Steve growled at the man who stepped back out of instinct. Steve flinched. “You’re afraid of me. You’ve been afraid of me this whole time.” He whispered sadly before walking toward the couch and sitting down. He didn’t want to scare him. He loved Eddie, or felt like he did. Whatever it was, it was never supposed to be like whatever this was. Steve dropped his head down and buried his face into his palms. Eddie stepped closer.
“It wasn’t… Fear. I’m not afraid. At least, not in the way that you think I am.” Eddie murmured. Steve felt the couch depress next to him. Eddie sighed and took a similar position to Steve, his head resting in his hands. “Look… I have a lot to explain. Things that I never really thought were possible. I think maybe… I think I should start at the beginning.” Eddie whispered as if he were about to share a terrible secret. A door he never wanted to open. The consciousness inside Steve stirred, discomfort and anxiety coming in waves. Something that wasn't supposed to be mentioned. Something that had been buried away to protect themselves. Steve glanced at him.
“What’s the beginning? Birth? Death?”
“Both I guess. The birth of an idea. The death of innocence. Whatever you really want to call it.” Eddie shrugged, leaning back. He caught eyes with Steve for a moment and tilted his head. “It started with the accident.” He said gently. Steve leaned back into the couch as well. He wanted to stay mad. He wanted to. He wanted to scream and yell, telling Eddie that he wasn't some toy that could be controlled with some fucking story. But the other part of him thrummed inside his flesh, soothing him and forcing his body to relax.
“Listen.” The voice in his head whispered. Steve licked his lips.
“The accident where Steve… Lost his life?” Steve asked tentatively and Eddie shook his head.
“No. The one in 2059." Eddie closed his eyes, taking a breath. "The one where we lost Will and Jane.” Eddie sniffed and wiped at his nose. His hand twitched and fumbled on the fabric of the couch cushion beside Steve’s thigh. Steve looked down at it. The pressure in his temple pushed sharply. He slipped his hand into Eddie’s, causing it to still. He hated how much it comforted him. He hated how much satisfaction came from just one touch.
“Just listen.”
“Alright, Eddie. I’m listening.”
-
April, 2059
Hawkins, Indiana
14 Years Ago
Eddie walked down the dirt road, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and cigarette hanging off of his lips. His feet moved quickly, dust kicking up behind him as he made it to a corner that had a street sign. Cornwallis Crescent was a familiar sight for him, especially for the past few years. He had been there often ever since he had taken Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will under his wing at the high school. Movie nights, games of Dungeons and Dragons, nights where he drove a pale looking Will Byers home in his van. Said vehicle was currently out of service once again, the junker being so old that it was often hard to find replacement parts. He took a long draw of the smoke before throwing the butt to the ground, crushing it with his heel. The gravel road crackled behind him with the telltale sound of wheels rolling over the stones. Eddie looked over his shoulder to see a familiar BMW slowing beside him. He rolled his eyes and started to walk again, hearing the window roll down and someone call out.
“Hey! Eddie! If you had just waited, I could have picked you up!” Steve was calling to him and Eddie scoffed.
“I’m not a charity case, Harrington. I don’t need your fancy car, my feet work just as well.” He called out with a flush on his cheeks. He had met Steve Harrington throughout high school but they hadn’t truly ever interacted; he had only ever seen him from afar. He was always with the cool kids, the preps, the jocks. Until he started dating Nancy Wheeler, Mike’s older sister. Eddie was held back, missing most of his senior year because of family issues, but Steve moved on. When Eddie met Dustin, he was surprised to learn that they were friends. A strange combination, King Steve, the Dreamboat, hanging out with a bunch of nerdy kids. But there he was. Picking them up from class, hanging out with Robin Buckley, miming Star Wars scenes and laughing. Eddie wanted to continue hating him, resenting him for being popular and good at everything, but it was hard when he kept proving that he was actually pretty decent most of the time.
“Hey… That’s not… We’re just going to the same place, man. Why do you think I’m always trying to get on your case?” He asked and Eddie sighed.
“If I get in your car, will you stop bothering me?” Eddie stopped and asked. Steve looked ahead, seeing the Byers household in view. He grinned.
“Thought you had legs. Use em.” He said blithely before speeding the quarter block forward and parking the Beemer. Eddie snorted.
“Asshole…” He muttered but a smile lived under his words. That was the most dangerous part about being so close to Steve Harrington. That stupid charm. The dry humour. His playful teasing. It would drive a weaker man to break. But Eddie hadn’t lost it yet. He had kept his growing crush at bay. It wasn’t fair to himself to allow it to blossom. Not with Steve Harrington who dated gorgeous Nancy Wheeler. Who had girls falling over at his feet. Eddie wouldn’t crush his own heart like that. He walked slowly as he approached Steve who had stood leaning against the trunk of his car for him, watching with a raised eyebrow and a smile.
“Think your legs need a little tune up, you walk slower than a snail.” Steve said playfully, turning to follow Eddie as he passed. Eddie shrugged.
“Not everything has to be so fast. Might wanna remember that the next time you take a lady home.” Eddie taunted and he heard Steve speed up behind him.
“Oh yeah? You got experience? Wanna give me a few pointers?” Steve’s voice was surprisingly close to his ear and Eddie flushed.
“What, so you can steal my moves? I don’t think so.” Eddie tried to brush the man off and Steve laughed.
“I have a few tricks of my own, maybe we could have an exchange of ideas one day.” Steve said airily as Eddie walked up the steps of the house, knocking on the door.
“... Yeah, maybe.” He said softly as the space opened in front of him revealing a very harried looking Joyce Byers. She sighed as she saw the two of them standing together, relief filling her eyes.
“Oh, boys. I’m glad you’re here. Hop’s at the hospital already, but I have to pack up the meals, and the blankets, and- Oh shit, I need my charger, can you…?” She gestured inside and Eddie quickly walked through the door with Steve shortly behind. The living room was a mess of bags and clothing. Jonathan and Nancy sat in the middle, sorting through things and packing some into the luggage. Nancy looked up to Joyce with worry.
“Mrs. Byers… I don’t mean to be rude but… Do you really think you’ll need this much? I mean… You can come back here when you need to, it’s only thirty minutes away.” Nancy held up a shirt covered with unicorns and rainbows. Eddie scrunched his nose, knowing that Jane hadn’t worn anything like that since she was eleven. Steve coughed behind them, stifling a little chuckle, probably thinking about what the girl’s expression would be if she woke up in the hospital to find that she only had shirts with rainbow sparkles available. Joyce bit at her nail nervously.
“Oh… You’re right but… I just mean, what if things aren’t going well, we’re not going to want to leave.”
“Mom…” Jonathan started but Joyce spoke faster and faster.
“We could be there for weeks and who knows, maybe the recovery is going to be really tough, I don’t know if Hop would want to leave the kids alone there with those people and Jon, baby, you don’t need the stress-”
“Mom!”
“Plus, what if we need to put the car in long term, that’s going to be a pain to get out cause we don’t have one of those fancy self driving ones-”
“Joyce.” Steve said softly, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. She stopped finally, tears streaming down her cheeks. The other three looked on in mournful sympathy. Steve squeezed lightly and Eddie watched the woman relax slightly under the touch. Something in him burned before a small rush of shame shuddered through his veins. Steve spoke with a warm smile. “You don’t have to worry about that stuff. That’s why we came.” He affirmed and Joyce took a deep breath.
“Ah… Right. Thank you. I need to… I have to go get the chargers. Before I forget.” She muttered before she scurried down the hallway. Nancy let out a breath and Jonathan ran a hand through his hair, his body tense with stress.
“Jon, I’m so sorry, I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
“No, you’re right though. We’re all just…” Jonathan didn’t need to finish the sentence. The silence between the four of them said more than they could. The stress, the pain, the exhaustion that lived in the house now, such a stark difference to the life it had always been filled with. Eddie glanced around at the pictures on the walls. It was a timeline of slow destruction now rather than a growing story of love and family. He felt Steve brush past him, watching as he got down onto the ground with Nancy and Jonathan, picking up a few things and looking at them.
“Alright. Where are you guys at?” He delved right into the piles of nonsense that Joyce had accumulated and Eddie rolled his eyes. It used to be that he thought that Steve’s kindness was performative. When Eddie had first joined their little rag tag group a few years before it was something he couldn’t get around, but he eventually had to swallow that it was genuine. The way he treated everyone, the way he just gave them everything even when they didn’t even fully understand how much that was, it was too much to be an act. Eddie sighed and started to help as well, scooping things off the couch and folding them haphazardly. Jonathan and Steve were organising and chatting lowly, making some sort of plan of attack on how to manage Joyce’s panicked chaos delicately while Nancy shimmied over to talk to Eddie.
“It’s really nice of you to come. Joyce is losing it.” She said softly and Eddie shrugged.
“Wouldn’t you be? In her position?” He responded evenly but the bite was there. Nancy sniffed, clearly sensing the tension.
“Of course… Look, I know everyone is upset. I just wanted to tell you that everyone appreciates all the help. Hop already went to sign all the papers and stuff at the lab.” She explained and Eddie nodded.
“What about the kids?” He asked and Nancy sighed.
“They sent a medical transport to pick them up. Said that Joyce and Hopper could meet them there. I think that’s what set her off, they had them all hooked up to IVs and stuff.” She folded another shirt and let it sit on her lap. Eddie took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Hopper and Joyce had finally stopped dancing around their feelings for each other when Will and Jane were both four years old. The five of them lived together in the Byers house happily for years. There were many pictures to prove it. Ones that slowly showed the insidious evil that was eventually their downfall. When Will and Jane turned seven, Vecna came to Hawkins. They built their lab after many town meetings that had desperately tried to keep them away. Hopper, being the sheriff, had been to each and every one. But they won, thanks to money and corruption, and construction started. The town thought that they had been safe. Far from the kind of harm that only the unstoppable brand of technology could bring. No one could have predicted that that corporation would release their byproducts into a small creek in the area as they built their castle. A small creek that flowed down past Hawkins, that bypassed several areas only to end up trickling right through the Byers property. The same creek where Jane and Will would catch frogs and giggle, where they would wash their hands and cool off. The creek that they had been told was fresh, safe water.
The first signs of trouble were the animals. Hopper had been out with the boys on the property when they came across a deer. It bled from its nose and panted horribly on the forest floor, padded with leaves and moss. A bed for an innocent creature. A comfortable place to die. Hop had sent Jonathan and Will back to the house before he put it out of his misery.
The dog was next. Joyce had pushed Hop awake to point out how lethargic it had been, how the scruffy little thing hadn't left the same spot on their bedroom floor since the morning before. As Hop approached the pitiful creature, his eyes widened. Its nose was bleeding. They took the dog to the vet immediately but there was nothing to be done. Total organ shutdown. The vet couldn't explain it. Hop frowned outside the office after he called Joyce and they made the devastating decision on the dog's treatment. A mercy for something so small carrying so much pain. He thought about the blood trickling from its nose. He thought about the deer, its patchy fur that seemed to be thin and falling out in chunks.
When Hop arrived home that day he walked into the kitchen where his family all looked teary eyed, sitting around the table eating sandwiches. He stared wordlessly at the small children with so much life ahead of them. They brought their friends into his home and created warmth and beauty where he thought there wasn't any to build. Will was quiet and thoughtful with a streak of mischievous humour. He was smart. So smart, and artistic. Jane was loving, careful, passionate. The strength within her was scary and beautiful. Their friends adored them. Hopper’s hand lifted to cover his mouth, his stomach dropping as he watched them at the table. The kids were pale. There were dark circles that hung under their eyes and their cheeks looked slightly hollowed. Jane scratched her head, glancing at her fingers as she brought her hand back. They were tangled with strands of hair that came off easily. He looked to Will who sniffed, wiping a Kleenex under his nose. It came back into view with small dots of red. He and Joyce had thought they were pale from having to be inside for most of the summer nowadays. That they looked different from puberty and growing so fast. But the truth hit him like a semi truck. He had held onto the doorframe. Jonathan told Eddie this story. He said it was the first time he had ever seen Hopper cry.
They had taken the two to the Hawkins doctors office but she hadn't been able to say much. She ordered tests from the hospital in Indianapolis but by the time they had arrived there a week later, Will and Jane had worsened. The kids were terrified and Joyce was a wreck. After a week of diagnostics and countless tests, the writing was on the wall. There was nothing to be done. Their organs were failing. There was damage beyond repair. They maybe had six months at most. The best thing to be done would be to take them home, love them, and make them comfortable for their last days. Hopper screamed loudly and cursed atrocities at Vecna, about how he knew they were to blame. He vowed to test the land, to bring them to justice as he paced the waiting room. Eddie had sat beside Dustin and Mike in the hospital as they wept, Steve on the other side. They had made eye contact and knowingly made the silent agreement to be strong for the family that they had found.
Then, one evening as the winter winds started to really chill the evening air a week after the family had come home and settled in their household, a knock came at the door. Vecna's PR team had finally come to make their move. Hopper wanted to kick them out, but Joyce was the one who allowed them inside. She had hope. She wanted to believe that there was still some sliver of light in the prognosis. The speech Vecna had made was stiff and grey. They were by no means taking any responsibility for the leak or the sickness. However, being that they were so close to Hawkins, and felt sympathy for the family, they wanted to offer the chance of a lifetime. They wanted to offer an experimental treatment that their medical facilities had been working on for people on the brink of death. Something that could regenerate the dead cells and tissue, that would stimulate growth. A fountain of youth in a syringe. All free of charge. Out of the goodness of Henry Creel's cold shrivelled heart. Joyce was overjoyed. Hopper was wary. There was a catch. No lawsuits and of course NDAs for the whole family. Friends as well. Eddie had signed his indignantly. Steve as well.
Now they were here, helping the family prepare to go to Vecna Labs, to help them potentially save the lives of their two children that had been damned by the devil of technology. Eddie folded another shirt on his lap when Joyce re-entered the room, hands full of wires.
"Do any of you know which of these is for the tablet? Will had a whole bucket of them…" She said with exasperation and Jon walked over to help his mother. Steve lifted the now packed bag that he had and walked over to Eddie, crouching down.
“Hey. Add that shirt and I’ll zip this one up too. It’s better to just get a move on I think.” He said in hushed tones and Eddie nodded. Nancy watched them as they moved in tandem, Eddie sliding the clothing into the bag quickly and zipping the top from one side while Steve zipped from the other, fingers meeting briefly in the middle before Steve stood smoothly, slinging the bag over his shoulder. He nodded to Jon and walked out the front door to throw the luggage into the trunk of the Byers car. Nancy cleared her throat softly.
“You guys seem to get along well now.” Her voice was tentative and Eddie almost thought there was something behind the words. He didn’t push it. It wasn’t the time to get into things like that.
“Sure. When he’s not being a dick he’s tolerable.” Eddie settled on a vaguely insulting remark and Nancy rolled her eyes.
“You’re so hard to talk to.”
“Thank you.”
“Alright, we should get going.” Steve had reentered the house and Nancy sighed, standing up. Jonathan threw the chargers that they didn’t need onto the couch and nodded.
“Sure. I’ll take mom and Nance in my car. Are you two okay to get there?” He asked and Eddie opened his mouth to ask if he could catch a ride with the three of them before Nancy stepped in.
“They’ll be fine. Eddie just said Steve is tolerable.” She looked over her shoulder at Eddie and gave him a small smirk. He glared at her before looking over to Steve who was grinning with a slight flush on his cheeks.
“Wow, that’s a new development.” Steve said pleasantly and Eddie groaned inwardly. Steve was the type of person that took a mile when they sensed they had an inch. At least when it came to Eddie. He rolled his neck, and closed his eyes.
“Whatever. Let’s go.” He muttered. The four of them grabbed any remaining items before shutting the door to the house, locking it. It still had a deadbolt unlike most of the households in Hawkins, and Joyce pocketed the key with a heavy breath. Steve ran around to the passenger side of his car to open the door for Eddie who grunted. Once they were on the road the stereo played a soft tune and Eddie listened to it carefully, watching the Byers car in front of them.
“Is this… AI music?” He asked and Steve shook his head.
“Nah, I don’t really listen to that. I got some really classic stuff in here… Uh… Semisonic, Dallas Green, Ok Go-”
“Oh, do you listen to Alexisonfire?” Eddie interrupted eagerly and Steve shook his head.
“Haven’t heard of her.” Steve responded and Eddie hummed, looking out the window dejectedly. Steve tapped the wheel of the car, turning around the bend. “Is she like… Rock or something?”
“It’s a band. Dallas Green was in it. Doesn’t matter, it’s probably not your style.” Eddie talked at the glass, trying to hide his face. He hadn’t ever expected Steve to prefer older music, but then, he never really talked to him past surface level conversations or things pertaining to the kids. Steve nodded.
“Oh. Sure. I’ll check them out.” His voice sounded anxious and Eddie wondered if the thought of entering the Vecna lab was as nerve wracking to him as it was to Eddie himself. The place was stark white and radiated a certain air of superiority over the town. Plus, knowing what it had done to Will and Jane gave it such a villainous spin. Steve cleared his throat. “This is the first time you’ve ridden in my car, you know.” He said casually and Eddie shrugged.
“I guess. Don’t get too excited.”
“Too late. I’m never vacuuming that seat again.” Steve joked and Eddie couldn’t help but smile.
“You’re so much weirder than I thought you were in high school.” He sighed and Steve laughed, running a hand through his hair.
“Ah, yeah. I think I’m just getting better with age.” He spoke with such sincerity that Eddie finally looked at him straight on. He glowed in the driver's seat, in his element. The hair he had pushed back floated down around his face and his skin was lit with golden light. His fingers wrapped delicately around the steering wheel and the soft strum of guitar played over Eddie’s thoughts. It took a minute before Eddie could look away again and as he did he felt Steve steal a glance in his direction, as if he was disappointed that Eddie had the nerve to lose attention. The rest of the drive was spent in silence before they approached the fake green grass of the lab. Jonathan had already come to a stop ahead of them, employees greeting them at the door and unpacking their trunk. A tall thin man with an air of importance was talking to Joyce who looked nervous and wary. They were surrounded by a few men in suits who looked to be some sort of security detail. It gave the distinct idea that whoever was talking to Joyce was someone in a position of power. Steve frowned. He slowed the Beemer near the end of the drive, giving them a large berth.
“Maybe we should just give them a little space. We can hang back here a bit- AH!” He yelped and Eddie jumped as a body slammed on the driver's side window. As they looked over, Eddie groaned and smacked the dash in a burst of energy, the kind that came after a scare.
“Fuck sakes, Robin!” Eddie moaned and Steve rolled down his window. The freckle faced teen stuck her head inside with a grin. She glanced at Eddie with slight surprise.
“Oh, what are you doing in my spot?” She asked and Eddie rolled his eyes. Steve shook his head.
“You don’t get to reserve a space here. First come, first serve.” He said and Robin scowled, giving Eddie a look.
“Shotgun next ride.” She muttered. Eddie opened the car door, jumping out quickly.
“You can have it.” He said quickly before slamming the door behind him. Steve squawked and Robin laughed at him before pulling her head out of the window, following Eddie. They left Steve behind who hurriedly pulled the car to the side of the drive into a small turnoff where there were a few visitor parking spaces. She was wearing a long white lab coat with a lanyard that had the Vecna logo patterned down the sides. Eddie looked back at her, stopping.
“Are you working here?” He asked. Steve was catching up behind them after locking the vehicle with a quick click of the fob over his head theatrically, smiling proudly as he slapped a hand down on Robin’s shoulder.
“She got one of those work experience opportunities they offered through Hawkins High!” He explained and Eddie stared at the two of them.
“Yippee, you work for the devil and you're not even getting paid. Well done.” He deadpanned and Robin threw her head back with a sigh while Steve’s face fell. Eddie turned again to walk up to the lab front door. He could hear Robin and Steve muttering behind him. Joyce was now inside, long gone with the lanky man that had been chatting with her
He had an atmosphere about him, a certain superiority with the way he had been smiling with thin concern, his blond hair pushed back carefully and his long fingers entwined behind him. Eddie furrowed his brow at the thought of him. Something was different about him in a way that Eddie didn’t particularly like. Joyce’s car was now being parked by a valet, disappearing around the building. Eddie tried to let the feeling of foreboding that he had leave with it. He looked around at the front doors opened, revealing a sterile white reception area with tall ceilings and low lights. There was a single receptionist at the desk who looked up at him before performing a double take. The automatic door opened again behind him and Robin’s voice sounded out.
“It’s okay. Here with the Hopper-Byers.” She said brightly and the receptionist raised an eyebrow before looking back to her computer with disinterest and Eddie felt Steve tap at his elbow.
“Come on. Don’t get lost.” Steve whispered in his ear and Eddie shivered at the sudden chill of air. He followed quickly, his clunking combat boots sounding stark against the quiet white business-like ambience. Eddie followed Robin and Steve through what felt like repeating hallways, all of them looking nearly identical. They passed a few workers, all of them looking equally harried and busy, holding tablets or folders. No one gave them a second look. Finally, Robin opened a door which led to a waiting room.
It was the first place that Eddie had seen in the building that had any life. Dustin, Mike and Lucas were all taking turns throwing pieces of caramel corn into each other's mouths, cheering softly whenever someone landed a shot. Max was sitting on a white chair, reading a novel while periodically looking up at the boys and rolling her eyes when they missed. Jonathan was setting down a bag on a chair while Hopper was greeting Joyce with a tight embrace and soft whispers into her ear. The group looked over when Steve and Eddie entered, waving excitedly. Dustin dropped his handful of popcorn into his mouth, crunching down and wiping his hands on his jeans before scurrying up to the two, pulling them into a hug at the same time. Eddie tried his best not to squeeze against Steve anymore than he was forced to. Dustin pulled back to look at the two of them.
“My dad’s are here.”
“Alright, off.” Eddie pushed the boy’s forehead back and Dustin gurgled leaving Steve cackling. The rest of the group greeted them as well, albeit less physically minus Lucas and Steve’s high five. They settled in and Hopper stood in front of them solemnly.
“Alright. You’re all allowed to stay until after the first procedure is done. Once they let us know the kids are in recovery, we’ll figure out when you can see them. In the meantime, be good. No fucking around. This is a privilege and we can send you home at any time.” He spoke gruffly with the hoarse voice of a man who had been awake for too long and had likely smoked more than a pack of cigarettes that day. His red rimmed eyes rolled along the group as they all nodded. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“That all being said… We… Uh… We really appreciate you all being here.” The last words barely made it out of his mouth before he snapped it shut and turned around quickly and headed toward the door. “I gotta smoke.” His voice cracked. Joyce quickly got up from her seat and ran to follow him out. The room was left quiet. Mike and Lucas looked at each other warily and Dustin sniffed. The procedure that their friends were about to undergo wasn’t some walk in the park. It wasn’t being touted to them as a miracle cure. It was untested, unproven. But the way that Will and Jane had been living was so painful to watch, the whole attempt was worth the risk. As the minutes passed the kids started to chat again, Nancy whispered conversation to Jonathan as they swiped through his phone, and Robin talked animatedly to Steve. Eddie watched from his chair, arms crossed and legs stretched out in front of him. His toes tapped an invisible beat.
“Oh, and they have this lab that’s, like, strictly forbidden. They just call it U.D. Straight up conspiracy shit. You can’t even get close to it without like extra, extra, permissions. I guess Creel has to escort you in basically.” Robin waved her hands as she spoke and Steve nodded along. Eddie could see Dustin’s interest piquing from across the room.
“Where do you usually work then?” Steve asked. “Can you show me?” Robin bit her lip.
“Uh… I don’t know. The general vibe here is pretty private. It’s crazy that they even let all of you in here in the first place. There was a memo that went out that if anyone sees you guys where you shouldn’t be to escort you back here.” Robin admitted and Eddie found himself gaining interest as well.
“Is that so?” He said slowly and Steve glanced at him.
“Oh, so the potential rule breaking has you waking up?” He spoke slyly and Eddie shrugged looking at the ceiling.
“I dunno. Maybe. You got an issue with that?”
“Not at all. You want to explore?” Steve said unexpectedly. Dustin jumped at the idea now.
“Yes! Come on, this is a huge opportunity!” He exclaimed. Robin’s face was horrified.
“H-hey! I just said they’re on the lookout!” She threw her hands up. “You’ll get like, three feet!” She said and Eddie leaned forward, elbows on his thighs and eyes lighting up.
“Not if you grab us a couple of those nice white lab coats.” his voice was mischievous and Dustin clung to the idea immediately.
“ Ooooooh , yes! Robin. Please. I would do it for you.” Dustin turned to her, pleading and grabbing her coat. She waved him off, smacking his hands and looked at Steve with begging eyes.
“Call them off, come on.” She squeaked and Steve looked at Eddie, making eye contact for a long second. He tilted his head.
“I’d like to check things out a little too.” He winked and Eddie felt his heart skip before he sat up straight. Robin groaned.
“... I will see. I will just check. If I don’t find a coat then you guys leave me alone, alright?” She pointed at Dustin specifically. He stepped back, making a little cross over his heart.
“Hope to die. You’re the best!” He said happily and Robin sighed, stepping past him and walking to the door. As she walked by Eddie he caught the words she was grumbling under her breath.
“He fuckin’ owes me for this, got me playing fucking cupid now.” He raised his eyebrow and Robin narrowed her eyes at him as she walked through the doorway. A few minutes passed and she returned, two lab coats richer. She tossed them at Eddie and Steve.
“You two first, then I’ll come back for the pipsqueak.” She put her hands on her hips and Dustin protested at the nickname before Robin glared at him, effectively shutting him up. Eddie stood, pulling the coat over his black t-shirt and looking at Steve as he pulled his own over his broad shoulders. Robin looked at Eddie with a raised eyebrow.
“You’re going to have to button that up.” She said and Eddie snorted, following orders and pulling the white fabric over his clothes. He almost felt professional. Steve did his own up and Nancy finally called out from the corner where she had been ignoring them with Jonathan.
“If you guys get caught, don’t. I don’t want to be banned from the facility.” She said and Eddie gave her a sarcastic smile.
“Thanks, really helpful advice.”
“You’re welcome.” She retorted, a mimicry of the humour that Eddie had served her back at the house. He smirked, amused at the callback. Sometimes she could be fun. Steve tugged on his coat, nodding his head at the door where Robin was leaning out and looking both ways.
“Come on, Doctor. Let’s explore.” Steve started to walk and Eddie followed suit. Robin pressed her lips together in a fine line, deciding to go left.
“Alright, I’ll take you guys to the programming lab where I’m usually at. They have a special coding class for the students there.” Robin spoke quietly but Eddie wasn’t too interested. He looked around curiously as Steve and Robin chatted. As they passed a glass hallway, they could see a large number of people all in lab coats working with syringes, test tubes and tablets, all looking entirely focused on their research. Eddie slowed to a stop.
“What do they do here?” He asked and Robin paused.
“Oh, them? I think this is medical, maybe cellular research? Creel puts a lot of money into regenerative technology.” She walked to stand beside him. Steve scratched at his arm.
“That’s what they’re using on Will and Jane… Right?” He said quietly and Robin nodded.
“Yeah, they say this could be a breakthrough.”
“So are they around here somewhere?” Eddie asked, not taking his eyes off the lab. Robin shrugged.
“I guess they probably are. Somewhere close at least.” She said and Eddie turned to her.
“Could you take us to them?” The question was soft and pressing. Steve stared at Eddie and Robin stammered.
“Eddie, come on. They’re in the middle of prep, it’s not like you could talk to them.”
“I know. I was just curious-”
“Shit! Shit, shit, shit!” Robin cursed suddenly, eyes wide as she looked past Eddie. “My fucking instructor is coming, oh my god!” She hissed and smacked at Steve’s stomach.
“Both of you just go straight down the hall, act normal. Turn left at the end, left again, through the second door. Wait there for me.” She spoke so quickly that it barely registered. Clearly Steve had trouble too, cocking his head to the side.
“Wha-” He started but Eddie grabbed his arm, pulling him along swiftly down the hallway. It didn’t matter what the instructions were, they just needed to get out of there. Steve followed easily and they made a quick left at the end of the hall just as they heard Robin cheerily greeting the person that was approaching her. Eddie looked both ways in slight confusion. The hall split off into three separate pathways.
“What the hell, Robin, what left??” He muttered and Steve chuckled.
“Come on, keep moving. This way.” He pulled on Eddie who stumbled over his feet.
“How do you know?”
“I don’t. But there’s probably a closet here too. We just have to remember the way back to this spot anyway.” He rationalised and Eddie didn’t argue. The two of them walked quickly down the hall that Steve chose. There didn’t seem to be any doors in sight which was already a bad sign. Steve pointed down to the end. “There! Let’s check that!” He sped up and Eddie nearly had to run to keep up. The adrenaline was starting to rush through his veins and he grinned. An adventure with Steve Harrington in a secretive laboratory was not what he had thought was in his future but he was trying to keep the thrill he was feeling hidden and discreet. It was exciting and in a certain way, romantic, the way he was being dragged around in search of a place to hide. Steve hauled him through the doorway with a giggle and it led to a darkened corridor with a soft rhythmic beeping that was in the distance.
“Yikes… Where are we?” Eddie mumbled, looking around in awe. The walls had turned to steel and Eddie noted that the doorway that they came through had what looked to be an emergency hatch that could lock down the space. Steve looked up at the ceiling, frowning.
“I dunno… It’s kind of sketchy though…” Eddie followed his eyes to see the pipes running along, a major sprinkler system flowing through. Eddie turned, ready to head back out the door.
“Maybe we should-”
“ Shhh! ” Steve moved suddenly, sliding behind Eddie and wrapping one arm around his waist, covering his mouth with the other. Eddie gasped, and Steve pulled him around a corner out of sight of the door. He held him close against his chest and Eddie could feel Steve’s heart pounding against his back. Eddie tried to slow his own heartbeat as he felt the rhythmic thumping vibrating into him. As he was about to ask Steve what he was doing, there were voices that entered the echoing chamber of steel that they had found themselves inside of.
“The children are down here, Mr. Creel. The outlook isn’t good. It seems that the initial doses are only causing more harm to the cells. The regeneration is happening too rapidly, it’s causing serious, potentially fatal effects. Their blood cell counts are off the charts, their bodies can’t handle it. We need to stop the treatment immediately.” A man’s voice drifted through the area. It sounded tight and hurried, like he was fearful. The strain was evident and whatever was happening was obviously urgent. Steve’s arm tightened over Eddie’s stomach. He knew what he was thinking because the same awful thought was burning in Eddie’s mind. They knew who the man was talking about. Eddie had a quick and painful pang of regret flit nauseatingly through his gut. One that told him that they should have never left the waiting room.
“What a shame. Your department told me that you had reached something extraordinary.” A calm voice responded and Eddie sucked in a breath. Devoid of emotion, it was clear that the man who had just spoken had no time or energy to spend on the minor issues of the life and death of strangers.
“Sir, we have. However, that was tested on plant matter, not-”
“Living matter is living matter, yes?” Creel’s voice came back, crisp and crossed.
“... Well, sir-”
“I don’t need excuses.” Creel cut the researcher off. The silence was thick and poisonous and Eddie heard the man sigh. “We need to cut our losses. Send someone to deal with the visitors. I don’t care what you do. Get them out of the building. I’m sick of playing house.” Creel spoke coldly and the researcher cleared his throat.
“Yes… Of course sir. But the children, they’re declining. We need to transfer them to the hospital wing, provide comfort care-”
“Why?” Creel cut him off once again with a snarl. Eddie tilted his head back to try to look at Steve who was already staring down at him with fear in his eyes. The man silently begged Eddie not to move, not to make a sound. He tightened his hold across Eddie’s chest protectively.
“... Sir?” The researcher questioned. Creel responded with chilled calm.
“Why are you intent on spending my money on useless bullshit ?” He hissed. There was a footstep and Eddie could imagine how the man was likely stepping into the researcher’s space. “Put the runts out of their misery and incinerate. Use this damned place for what it was made for. Send anything useful to U.D. and tell the family it was unsuccessful. Be done with it.” He spoke with finality. There was a moment of silence before quick moving clicks signified that Creel was leaving. They stopped at the door.
“Don’t forget to turn off the cameras. I won’t take any more responsibility in my name for your incompetence.” Creel's voice sliced like a knife through the tense air. His footsteps continued and trailed off, changing tone as he left the steel lined hallway. A large breath was released from the researcher before he walked up the hallway to the room at the end, calling instructions inside. There was a flurry of movement and chatter as a few people seemed to gather papers and samples before Eddie and Steve heard them rush out of the hallway. A final set of footsteps clicked over the grated steel of the flooring and started to speak into what Eddie assumed was a phone.
“Frank? Hey. Creel’s pissed… Yeah. Initiate protocol one… Yeah, I’m fucking serious, you think I’d joke about shit like that? Yeah… Yeah, turn off the cams. Can you get Louise on the line? We gotta get the visitors out of here.” He started to walk out of the hallway as well and Steve tucked his face into Eddie’s neck. There were tears falling onto his skin. Eddie realised that he had been crying too, streams of water falling and collecting along Steve’s hand. They could still hear the man talking as he walked through the door. “You free after work? I’m going to need a drink after this one.” He said with such a basic lack of sympathy that it shook Eddie’s core. Once his footsteps were gone, Eddie pulled Steve’s hand down off of his mouth.
"Steve… Steve, what the fuck do we do?" He asked shakily. Steve was still wrapped around him, his face buried in his shoulder.
"This is so fucked, so fucking fucked…" Steve said quickly, panicked and hushed. Eddie moved out of his grip. Will and Jane had to be close. The man had said they were down here. He stepped around the corner, spotting an open door and running toward it. "Eddie? Where are you going, Eddie!" Steve called after him. The metallic thunks of their footsteps echoed in the chamber and Eddie stopped at the door, feeling like all the air had been sucked out of him. The room looked like it had been the scene of a botched black market organ theft. There was used gauze and cotton littered over the floor, surgical tools splayed over trays that had been pushed askew. There were screens and IVs doing their jobs without supervision. Eddie felt Steve behind him once again before he heard him gasp loudly. On two surgical tables in the room, hooked up to countless wires and tubes lay Will and Jane. Both of them wore paper thin gowns, and Eddie could see their tiny hip bones peaking the thin fabric. It was so devastatingly obvious that something had gone horribly awry. Will had a tube in his throat where the incision was fresh. There was blood drying all around his nose and mouth, spatter reaching to the edge of his bed. Jane was bleeding steadily from her nose, the macabre pang of each drip falling onto the metal floor resounding among the sounds of the sensors. Both of them seemed to be barely breathing, their rising sporadically and so subtly you could barely register it. Their heartbeats were weak and erratic on the screens. Eddie lunged forward to Jane’s side first and Steve followed. The two of them seemed to halt in front of her, fearful to even touch her frail body. Eddie’s eyes widened as he saw the gauze that was forced helplessly into her nostrils, the blood passing it easily.
“Oh my god… Oh my god, Steve, we have to get them out of here!” He started to panic and Steve followed suit. Steve looked around, drawn to the tubing beside Jane. He started to sort through them, filing them with his fingers and trying to follow the lines to where they were hooked into the girl's body.
“Y-yeah… Fuck, okay, pull that IV out maybe-”
“ Protocol One commencing. Stand clear of target stations. ”
Eddie lurched at an announcement that filled the room suddenly. He looked at Steve with fearful eyes.
“What are the target stations?!” He asked loudly and Steve shook his head, opening his mouth to speak but an excruciating buzz filled the room. A flashing light sparked in Eddie’s peripherals and his entire body tingled. The two of them whirled around to look at Will. His entire body was tense on the table, his back arched and eyes unnaturally wide. Eddie made a choked sound of horror and Steve grabbed his arm so tightly that he thought the bones were going to snap. It seemed to go on forever, Will frozen in the forced position but really in a matter of seconds he was slammed back onto the table, flat and unmoving. The monitor that he was hooked up to screamed in a dull, flat line. Eddie and Steve both released frightened sobs before Steve turned around back to Jane.
“Get all this off of her! Hurry, get it-” He was tearing at the wires and tubes in the girl's arms and chest. She didn’t even stir, oblivious to whatever was happening to her. Eddie stood frozen, still staring at Will’s now lifeless body. The boy he had learned to love, the one who he had helped write campaigns with, watched him paint and listened to his woes. Gone with the word of one man. Steve was weeping beside him, heaving breaths of frantic desperation. “No, no, no , no - Eddie help me !” Steve had now given up on disconnecting Jane and resorted to attempting to lift her off the table. Eddie heard a tinny noise start once again. A familiar tingle that ran over his scalp. It forced him from his shock to swirl around and look at Steve.
“Steve, you gotta let her go!” He screamed, yanking on Steve’s arms but he didn’t budge.
“No! I can’t… I-”
“ NOW, STEVE!” Eddie pulled hard and at the last second, Steve released his hold on the girl just as the deadly electrical current ran through her. The two men fell to the floor, used gauze and tools scattering all around them. Eddie looked up just in time to see Jane’s wide open eyes and mouth looking down on him one last time before she went slack and fell to the table. A surge of crimson blood pulsed from her nostrils in a morbid final display of life. Then monitor buzzed in the same dull tone that Will’s had. Steve and Eddie sat on the floor breathing heavily with tears cascading down their faces. Eddie lifted a hand to look at what he had landed in. Jane and Will's blood stained his palm and he made a choked noise, wiping it furiously on the lab coat. Steve scrambled back, lifting his knees to his chest. It was too much, too much to see. Too much to know.
"This can't be fucking happening. This can't be happening." He started to chant to himself and Eddie sobbed, crawling toward him. He watched as Steve was cracking, turning inward at the terrifying scene that they had just witnessed.
"Steve, we gotta get out of here…" His voice cracked but the whirlwind of his mind told him that if they were caught, if Vecna knew what they had just seen and heard, they were as good as dead. He grabbed the front of Steve’s lab coat. "Come on, come on, we gotta leave." He begged, pawing at the man’s chest weakly but Steve was in shock. Eddie startled and looked around in panic when another announcement came over the speaker in the robotic AI voice that they had heard before.
"COMMENCING PURGE IN 30 SECONDS."
Eddie’s eyes darted around as the lights dimmed and red alarms beeped all around them. He looked down at the floor. Through the blood stained grates he could see a small set of pilot lights flaming along a pipe. His eyes widened. A purge. A way to get rid of all the evidence.
"Holy shit… Steve, get the fuck up, get up, we're gonna die in here!!" He screamed, smacking the man across the face. A hand print remained on Steve’s cheek in the sticky blood that remained on Eddie’s hand. He blinked a few times before looking down at the floor as well and seeing what Eddie was talking about. Reflex and realisation seemed to kick in and Steve sprung to his feet, grabbing at Eddie’s coat and dragging him along.
"Shit, shit, shit! I think the door is closing!!" Steve yelled as they slammed against the threshold of the operating room back into the hallway. He was right. The steel door that they had seen earlier was slowly starting to descend. On the other side of it stood Robin, panting as if she had just arrived. She must have been looking for them after she hadn’t found the two where she had directed. Now she stood, staring into the hallway and looking at them in horror.
"What the fuck?! Get out of there!!!" She screamed and Eddie tripped over a wound up piece of bloody gauze that had wrapped around his boot. Steve stopped to steady him, too kind, too caring to ever leave someone behind.
"FIVE, FOUR, THREE-"
" STEVE!!! OH MY GOD, STEVE!! BEHIND YOU !! " Robin sobbed, gripping at the door. Eddie could see that she had dragged a chair under to try to prevent it from closing but it would only hold for so long. The metal was buckling under the pressure. Then he heard it. A whoosh of air and pressure raging from behind him.
"ONE. STAND CLEAR."
The flames shot from every direction. Eddie barely registered Steve’s screams as they dragged each other through white hot and blinding fire. The sound of cleansing flame and scent of propane inundated his senses. He could feel the stinging blaze all around as it licked at his skin and with all the strength that he could muster, using every last drop of adrenaline that was thrumming through his veins, he held fast around Steve's waist. The two of them pushed through the space left by the door at the last second as the chair gave way. Robin had taken her lab coat off and was already beating the flames that were feeding off of the boy's clothing. Eddie moaned, rolling on the ground while ripping and clawing at his own coat, Steve doing the same. They weren’t quick enough. The heat had eaten through the fabric, through their shirts and bit at the expanse of their torsos. The flesh was angry and red, it looked wet and smelled like burning blood. Eddie gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to retch, unsure if it was from the stench or the pain. He looked at Steve who was straining his neck back, sweat trickling down and tendons stretching against the skin. Robin was kneeling next to him, hands dancing anxiously over his body a hair away from the actual skin.
“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!! What the hell were you doing down there?! Oh my god, we need to get you to the medical wing, stay here I’ll get someone-”
“No! No, Robin, you can’t!” Steve choked out, wincing as he lurched forward to grab her arm. She tried to push him off but Eddie crawled forward to hold her back as well.
“Robin, you gotta get us out of here. They can’t see us. They killed Will and Jane, they just fucking killed them!” Eddie’s tears hadn’t stopped and she stared at them.
“What… What are you talking about? You’re in shock-”
“We’re not in fucking shock!” Eddie seethed although he knew that they probably were. The pain was in full force now and he could see Steve’s eyes rolling back into his skull as he closed them, trying to steady his breathing. Eddie tightened his grip on where he had grabbed at Robin’s leg. “Please… Please, Robin. You have to believe me. We need to go. You have to get us out of here…” He begged and Robin swallowed thickly. She looked back at Steve who was panting and holding his side. His skin had turned black around the edges, crisp and almost unreal.
“O-... Okay, fuck, okay. Can you stand? Can you get up?” She asked and Eddie bit his lips. With all the effort he could muster, he lifted himself to his knees, moaning as he got to his feet. Eddie could feel the bile rising in his throat once again as he steadied himself and Robin shot up to offer her arm for balance. They both looked at Steve who was still sitting there, covered in blood and sweat, eyes closed and breathing heavily. Eddie nodded curtly, taking charge.
“Help me.” He said shakily and Robin licked her lips. They moved together, dragging the man to his feet. Steve cried out, sobbing lightly.
“It hurts, Eddie, please, it hurts so bad-”
“I know, I know, shhhh. I got you, come on, I got you.”
“Leave me here, fuck, I can’t do it.” Steve whined pitifully and Robin started to heave little sobs.
“What are we gonna do, Eddie? What do I-” She whispered, her hands shaking. Eddie clenched his jaw.
“I… Fuck, I don’t…” He stuttered, watching her dissolve into a wreck of fear and sympathetic agony. He looked to Steve, the man who always gave everything for others, never leaving enough for himself. Eddie swallowed thickly. He
“Come on, sweetheart. Come on, you gotta show me all those moves we were talking about before, right? You gotta listen to that band, tell me what you think, okay?” Eddie tried to steady his voice, tried to fill it with soft persuasion. Steve only whimpered.
“I can’t-”
“Shh, you can. You can, Steve, you-” Eddie’s voice caught on a hiccup, a tear, a moment. A realisation of what was really happening. A vivid and horrifying feeling of clarity. Eddie cleared his throat. He needed something grounding. Something familiar to bring Steve back down from whatever ledge of dissociation he had left his consciousness on. He closed his eyes and tilted his head, leaning his lips in close to coo into Steve’s ears. Because this was just for him. A lifeline.
♪
“Someone come and, someone come and save my life.
Maybe I’ll sleep when I am dead,
But now it’s like the night is taking up sides.
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind,
Could it be- this misery will suffice?”
Eddie sang shakily and Robin stared at him. Steve sniffed and looked up at him with an odd gaze, something almost impossible to read. It landed between curiosity, awe, pain and being sheerly overwhelmed. Eddie closed his eyes. The feeling was too much to bear, the pain in his body, the burn in his throat and the only moment of true vulnerability he had really shown to Steve. All in a moment where none of that really belonged. He took a deep and tremulous breath.
“Please, Steve… We gotta go.” He pleaded and finally, Steve snapped out of his stupor. The glassy distance in his eyes cleared and he shook his head a little.
“O-okay. Okay, okay. I can… Yeah. I can get up.” He whispered. Steve pushed himself to his feet, grunting and digging his fingers into Eddie’s arm as he used him for stability. Eddie hissed and the two stumbled slightly, pulling Robin with them. The three of them started to laugh breathily. They could move now. Robin looked down the hall and thought for a moment before seemingly making a decision.
“We gotta go down the maintenance hall. Then we can use the delivery exit. I’ll drop you off there, you can get into the woods and hide until I can slip out and get the Beemer. I’ll pick you up off the grounds. You gotta try to avoid the cameras, alright? Flayers too, they’re going to be patrolling-” Robin was talking in a constant stream of information. Eddie spoke under his breath as they began to move.
“No one knows that we were there.” He said and Robin glanced at him.
“What? No one saw you??” She asked and Steve shook his head.
“They turned the cameras off down there. Probably scrubbed the footage too…” He winced on a particularly heavy step. They turned down a narrow hall and moved to a door. Robin bit her lip.
“Alright… Okay, well that’s good, right? No one’s looking for you… Hopefully the rest of them keep their mouths shut…” She mused anxiously and they made their way through the storage rooms, nearly at the exit. Eddie stared forward.
“Yeah… Hopefully.” He said in a hushed tone. He knew Nancy and Jonathan had a certain sense to them, a conscious awareness of the type of place they were in. He prayed that they had the opportunity to warn the others against outing the three of them. Robin guided Steve to a shelving unit to steady himself and rammed herself against a large door which swung open to reveal a minty green sky. Steve squinted and Eddie covered his eyes with his forearm. Robin put a hand out to stop them before they walked out the door. She grabbed a few high vis vests off a hook as well as helmets. She held them out to the men.
“Disguises. Just in case. Go on. I’ll pick you up later and take you to the hospital in Indianapolis.” She whispered and the two nodded, taking the clothing. Robin bit her lip as she watched them don the items. “Just… Try to last until then okay? Don’t… Don’t pass out… Don’t let me find you…” She didn’t finish the sentence and Eddie nodded in understanding.
“We’ll be ready. Thank you, Robin.” He said genuinely. Steve looked up at her and reached forward, grabbing her around the back of the neck and pulling her close to put his forehead against hers. They didn’t speak but seemed to understand something between them. Steve whispered as Robin sniffed.
“Not goodbye. See you later.” He spoke softly and Robin pushed away. They all glanced over to the other side of the storage room from which they had entered, hearing muted voices. Robin shooed them out the door.
“Go, go! I’ll cover you.” She shut the door behind them and Eddie and Steve shared their strength to make their way off the ramp at the back where the supply trucks would enter through a few tall storage containers before they managed to find the edge of the property where the tree line started. As Steve pulled Eddie into the rough shrubbery, he took one last look at Vecna, standing tall and stoic as if nothing had even happened. Still the immaculate picture of perfection and pinnacle of technology. Deceiving the world, pretending to be so pure, so evolved and cultured. Eddie furrowed his brow and his insides burned in a growing hatred, consuming him more entirely than purifying flame ever could.
“What are we going to do?” Steve asked. It was the first thing they had said since Robin left them. Eddie took a deep breath before venturing further into the trees with uncoordinated footfalls, wincing and hanging on to Steve. His voice grated out; ragged and vicious.
“We’re going to burn it all down.”
-
One Month Later
Eddie sat with his arms crossed under the boulder at Skull Rock. They lay over his torso, resting on the bandages that were still lingering under his shirt. The sun was waning, setting in the greenish sky and setting the clouds into a copper blaze. Steve was beside him, his arms crossed much the same, elbow pressing against Eddie’s softly in a persistent reminder that he was there. Steve had barely left his side since the horrible day at Vecna Labs. Robin had found them in the darkness that night, her gleaming flashlight seeking them out in the brush and her tear stained face shining with relief. Steve and Eddie dragged themselves into the backseat of the Beemer and Robin had driven them to the hospital the next town over. It was a nearly silent ride. When Eddie tried to get comfortable and move away from Steve, the man protested softly. He pulled Eddie back in, clutching him intimately. Eddie accepted it easily even though his body was burning in pain, bleeding, skin sloughing off in places that had been bitten by the flame too closely. But they laid on the seats and Steve held Eddie firmly to his chest. The sound of the man’s erratic heartbeat filled Eddie from head to toe all the way to Indianapolis. As they reached the ER entrance, Robin ran in and called for help to bring them inside. Eddie waited there, feeling like he was about to pass out just from the strain of trying to stay conscious. His head was rising and falling with Steve’s heavy breaths. He strained to listen to Steve’s faint whisper.
“We’ll go together. Together. Not letting you out of my sight.” He sighed and Eddie gritted his teeth together as the nurses ran out to pull them from the vehicle. From then on things had changed between them. Eddie didn’t find those irritable little things that Steve did very annoying anymore. Rather, it may have not been that he was annoyed in the first place. Maybe, it was just that he was intent on pushing Steve away. But now that he had given in, the two were together more than not. During their recovery they spent everyday checking on each other, memorising each other’s scars and stories. Whatever resentment Eddie had before was changing to something else. Something that was arguably more unbearable, but after what they had been through it seemed like Eddie would rather be tortured by unrequited love than the pain of keeping his guard up. Steve was clearly pleased. He took every chance to touch the other man and ground himself, to prove he was still there. He listened to Eddie’s music, liking some things but not others. They visited their friends and family together. He always saved the front seat for Eddie. He looked at him like a puppy dog waiting for a treat, and when Eddie smiled, he flushed and grinned.
Returning to the Byers household after the accident had been excruciating. They came back the next day, covered in bandages and scars, singed hair and sweat stained skin. They didn’t even go home to change first, opting to buy a few gas station shirts to replace the now unwearable shirts they had before. Eddie, Robin, and Steve all stood at the door, ready to knock but unsure where to begin. They had told the hospital that they had an accident while playing with fireworks in a field, but this conversation would be much harder. To tell the grieving family and friends about what had truly happened to their loved ones. Hopper had ended up opening the door, eyes red and swollen. He looked shocked, taking a long up and down look at the group.
“What… What the fuck happened to you three?” He asked and Robin just started to sob again, burying her face into her hands. Steve consoled her and Eddie stood tall. He offered respect and grace, something he rarely had handy.
“Sir… There's something we need to tell you… May we come inside?” Hopper looked back behind him, seemingly looking for consent from Joyce who had been on the couch. He turned back to Eddie, eyes narrow and suspicious.
“Something happened at that lab.” It wasn’t a question, but almost a confirmation of his own suspicions. Eddie nodded and Hopper moved to the side. “Come in.”
After Eddie and Steve told their story once to the Byers-Hopper family, having to bear through the tears, pain and disbelief, they told it once more to the young friends of Will and Jane. Robin sat through it twice with sheer horror on her face both times. Eddie spared them from details about the arch of Will’s spine as he was hit with his shock. He didn’t tell them about how he had to rip Steve away from Jane’s little body. How he had watched her pupils dilate and her soul leave her to waste and burn in the dark chamber of the lab. Steve seemed to understand, also just sticking to the most important details and facts. When they came to the rough moments, Steve would reach out for Eddie. Eddie drank in the touch. It was more bearable when the weight was shared. Steve knew his pain and that was enough to push him through the memories.
Hopper had gone nearly insane. He tore up the house, he screamed, he drove his fist into the wall, smashing a wooden panel. He was going to destroy Creel. He was going to take this all to the press. Eddie felt the bile rise in his throat then. They still didn’t know what kind of danger they were in. As far as he knew, Steve and Eddie were wanted men, the only witnesses to the vile crimes that Vecna was committing. Joyce managed to bring him back to earth and they tried to work through the facts. The cameras had been off. The receptionist barely noted that they had even entered the building thanks to Robin vouching for them, causing them to skip the check in. Creel never saw the two when they arrived, being that they had hung back. Other than a few well aimed cameras within the building, there was little evidence that they had even been at Vecna. Robin argued that a low profile could just be their saving grace. If Vecna didn’t know there was a leak, they would never have a reason to sift back through those records.
“If you go to the media about this, Steve and Eddie will be… They’ll be in danger, sir.” Robin’s voice shook and Hopper stood, eyes dark and shoulders tense. Jon nodded, fingers interlaced in front of him.
“She’s right… We have to be smart about this… Get them into some sort of protection…” Jonathan mused and Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I have like… An aunt in Chicago. We could stay there-”
“Steve, you can’t go together! If you were to go into hiding, it’s way safer to split up-” Robin said incredulously and Steve paused. Eddie watched as his jaw flexed.
“Then we don’t hide. I’m not… We’re not splitting up.” He said with finality and Eddie furrowed his brow.
“Then what do we do?” Joyce said softly, voice nasally and thick. “What can we do? They killed my babies… My babies…” She trailed off before breaking down into sobs once again. Eddie couldn’t watch and turned away. He took a deep breath.
“What if we don’t go public with this?” He said quietly and he could feel the room turn to him.
“What do you mean? We just let them get away with murdering my children?” Hopper’s voice was gnashing misplaced fury. Eddie shook his head.
“No, god. No. I mean… Going to the media with just our story and a couple burns… They’ll cover it easily. We need to find a way to get it to go global, we need to find something that they can’t hide. We need to break Creel so that he can never do this again…” Eddie’s voice was hard and even. It was easy to see that the essence of revenge had been brewing in his mind ever since he and Steve stumbled into the forest behind the giant building. The room was silent and Eddie felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder.
“How do we do that?” He whispered. Eddie shook his head. He had no idea.
That night, Eddie and Steve stayed at the house with the family. They showered and wore some of Hopper and Jonothan’s clothing. When the lights went out, they shared space on the couch as they drifted into a light sleep. Neither of them wanted to sleep in Jane or Will’s rooms. They lay against each other looking out into the dim light coming from the kitchen, neither of them knowing where to go from here.
Days passed. Then a month. The town didn’t change much, but the Byers-Hopper’s did. Joyce fell into a depression, barely leaving the house. Eddie and Steve went by as much as possible to help Jon out. They would clean and bring supplies. Try to remedy things. Hopper was distant. He spent night after night in his shed, standing and pacing, calling his contact Murray in a desperate attempt to find a way to expose the corporation that had caused him and his family so much anguish. Jonathan tried his best to keep them together, but the longer it went on, the more time he spent with Nancy at the Wheeler house.
The kids were different too. Something about the whole situation was a trigger for a loss of innocence. Max was withdrawn at the loss of her best friend. Mike too. He had not only had to suffer through losing Will, but Jane who was his first love. He pulled in upon himself like a black hole, Eddie and Steve rarely saw him in the light of day. Lucas tried to fill the void by playing basketball, often being out and shooting baskets from dawn til dusk. Dustin reacted oppositely. Intensely. He wanted a solution. He wanted justice. Eddie related to the feeling. The stangnancy of living a regular life after seeing everything, knowing all that had happened… It seemed so wrong.
Now they sat at Skull Rock for what seemed to be the millionth time. Steve and Eddie leaned against the boulder under the small overhang while music poured out from a small speaker. Robin was in the chair that was brought there by some mystery person years before. She was plucking the leaves off a branch and letting them fall slowly to the ground. They sat together, sharing the space in the mutual comfort that they had been cultivating over the month. They heard stomping footsteps approaching, and Dustin crashed through the trees. His face was glowing, flushed and sweaty. Eddie glanced at him with a bored expression as if this behaviour was nothing new.
“Woah, did you run here?” He asked and Dustin nodded, bending over at the hips and bracing himself with his hands on his thighs. Steve smiled lightly and caught a look with Robin who was chuckling. They all waited while the boy caught his breath. He finally stood up with a huge inhale.
“I’ve figured it out.” He huffed and Steve pushed off from where he had been leaning against the boulder. Eddie felt cold at the loss of contact with him.
“Oh man… Dude, you gotta give it a rest-” Steve started, his voice laden with concern. Dustin shook his head, closing his eyes.
“No, I really have it figured out. I know what to do.” He said. Robin looked over her shoulder back at Eddie. He rolled his neck, sighing. The boy had been trying to find countless ways to get back at Vecna for what they had done.The three friends had found that there was no stopping him. The best thing they could do was listen.
“Alright. What is it this time.” Eddie said softly, walking out and ending up beside Steve. Dustin grinned and pulled his backpack off, unzipping it and taking out a well used notebook. ‘
“No interruptions, alright?”
“Sure.”
“Promise!” Dustin insisted and Steve rolled his eyes, giving Eddie a look. Eddie felt his chest thud a little louder and he cleared his throat.
“Promise. Just get it all out quick this time.” Eddie needed mercy. The kid had been endlessly trying new ways to figure out how to fix everything. He didn’t fault him for it, it was just in Dustin’s nature. The boy nodded, opening the notebook.
“Okay. So. We’re all going to infiltrate Vecna.” He started and Robin scoffed.
“We went over this, it won’t work. They have cameras, security-”
“Steve? I said no interruptions.” Dustin pointed at her and Steve looked at Robin innocently.
“He’s right.” Steve agreed and Robin rolled her eyes. She slumped back in the chair. Dustin cleared his throat dramatically.
“Thank you. So, we infiltrate Vecna. Legally.” He smiled. “I got approved for the internship next year through the school.” Dustin said pleasantly. Eddie’s eyes widened and Steve stepped forward, ready to argue but Dustin held his hand out.
“Wait. You guys are going to get jobs there too. We’re going to play the long game.” Dustin explained and Eddie snorted.
“You want me to get a job at Vecna. As what? A janitor?” He spoke with sarcasm but Dustin looked at him seriously.
“Eddie, come on. I’ve seen you code. I know what you can do. All you have to do is pass the testing. You’d be able to score in the highest percentile easily.” He tilted his head to look at Robin. “And you, you already were on the fast track. We can make a good excuse, say you needed the break for mental health. You’re gay, they can’t discriminate against you. Openly, at least.” Robin choked.
“Dude! That’s not cool!”
“Not wrong though. Just let me finish. If we all have jobs there, we can get into the systems. We can slowly mine the information out, all the evidence. You guys said that they took samples and records as they were leaving the scene, right? That has to be somewhere. We’ll be spies, we can bring it all to light. Whistleblowers. We can make this right! We just have to be smart about it.” Dustin spoke quick and eager, full of gusto and confidence. The other three looked between each other slowly.
“He’s right about you, Robin. You’re a natural at programming…” Eddie said quietly and Robin looked down at her hands.
“I… I don’t know if I can go back there…” She nearly whispered and Eddie felt the same way. It sounded awful, the thought of even walking by that steel corridor again, to hear the cold chill of Henry Creel’s voice. Imagining having to follow the man's orders triggered Eddie’s fight reflex and made him clench his fists at his sides. Steve cleared his throat and Eddie looked at him. He seemed anxious and dejected.
“So… What should I do? In this grand plan, I mean… I’m not good with computers or anything…” Steve muttered and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t… I’m not gonna wait on the sidelines while you all put yourselves in danger.” He sounded stressed and Eddie could see the pain in his expression. It was so easy to interpret the man’s thoughts. How he couldn’t stand to see them sacrifice their freedom. To see them risk everything without him being able to stand at their sides. Dustin seemed to have predicted this though and he started to ruffle through his pack while holding a finger up to signify for the group to give him a moment.
“Hold… on. It’s- Ah! There.” Dustin whipped out a stack of papers. Eddie squinted, trying to see what was on them. It was a stack of drawings. Beautiful sketches, various things. Buildings, cars, animals. All done in margins and spare papers, delicate in shades of graphite. Eddie walked up to Dustin, marvelling at the pictures.
"Woah, did you draw these?? Dustin, this is incredible !" He felt Steve move and halt behind him as he left to take the images from the boy's hands. Dustin grinned.
"These are all Steve’s. I kinda just pick them up whenever he leaves them behind somewhere." Dustin explained and Eddie stared at a sketch of a Ferrari that he had grabbed. The lines were nearly perfect, the symmetry and scale was so realistic. Eddie slowly turned around to look at Steve who was now blushing and gazing at the sky, clearly embarrassed.
"It's not a big deal… Just a hobby, you know? My dad told me to stop fucking around with it anyway so…" He mumbled but Robin huffed, walking over to Dustin and taking some of the drawings. Eddie still stood absolutely speechless. How could he have not known how talented Steve was? Robin waved one of the papers in front of Dustin’s face.
“So it was you! You little thief! I was wondering where this went!” She snapped at the boy, tucking a sketched image of a familiar face into her pocket with a flush. “That was a gift! ”
“How was I supposed to know! You guys left it behind!” Dustin argued and Eddie started to flip through the rest of the papers as Steve walked over to try to separate the two. A lamborghini. A frog. A classroom setting. Eddie turned the drawings in his hands, smiling at each one. Finally, a page full of faces appeared. Eddie’s eyes widened. He pulled it closer to really see. The face was familiar, too familiar. A dimpled cheek, doe eyes, frizzy hair. It was him . He was smiling, grinning in a way that looked as if he had just told a wild story. Eddie flipped the page over. It was his own face again, this time with his eyes closed and head resting on his arms. Likely from when he had fallen asleep at Joyce’s home during a movie night. He flipped through the next few pages. Scattered between sketches of the kids and Robin was his own face, twisted, happy, deep in thought. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. He looked up at Steve who was still laughing as he tried to pull Robin away from Dustin. He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks, to the tips of his fingers. Images of Steve touching him, following him, trying desperately to connect with him flitted across his mind. What else had Eddie missed while he was caught up in his own selfish obsession of keeping Steve at a distance, to make sure his feelings didn’t become too much? Steve finally glanced over at Eddie, noticing what he had in his hands and dropped Robin suddenly, rushing over to steal the papers away.
“Shit. These were just-” Steve spluttered, trying to rip them from Eddie’s grasp. “Practice. It’s nothing, can you just let go-”
“They’re incredible.” Eddie whispered and his thumb hit Steve’s where they shared the drawings between them. Steve stilled looking down at their hands and staring. “Steve… you-”
“They are! He’s really good!” Dustin exclaimed, jumping into them and wrapping his arms around their necks, wedging a stick into the spokes of motion. Eddie let go of the papers and Steve’s hands dropped as he stared at Eddie strangely, trying to read him. Dustin let them go and poked Steve in the chest. “All we have to do is get you just enough developer knowledge. Maybe you can brush up on some technical drawings. You could get in as a creative developer. I’ll show you dome digital things, we can mess around with the old D.A.R.T. unit I have, show you the basics!” Dustin rattled off excitedly. Steve shrugged and ran a hand through his hair.
“That’s going to be a lot of work, Dustin…” Steve started hesitantly. Eddie nodded.
“Yeah. We don’t even know if they’ll take the bait. We’ll have to study day and night.” Eddie murmured, looking at Steve. “You think you could handle spending all that time with me, Harrington?” He asked and Steve’s eyes flicked to him.
“You and me?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’ll have to work really hard, probably gonna need your help brushing up for those tests-”
“Let’s do it.” Steve cut him off, looking at Dustin. “We’ll infiltrate them from the inside.” He said with confident intensity. Robin squeaked from behind them. Steve turned around to placate the girl.
“Together, Robin. We can do it together. Think about what they did to Will and Jane. To all of us.” He put his hands onto her shoulders and looked imploringly into her face. Robin took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Eddie remembered Steve’s voice in his ear as they lay embraced in the backseat of the beemer waiting to go into the hospital, how he had said such similar words. How they felt so different.
“... Okay.” She breathed and Steve hugged her. Dustin hooted and punched Eddie’s arm in excitement. Eddie grinned and put the boy into a headlock and dragged him around. Dustin’s protesting laughter filled the forest and their hearts. Eddie felt Steve’s eyes on him as he roughhoused in the leaves. For the first time in months, Eddie felt hopeful for more than just the obvious. As they took the time to let the pleasant air of excitement fill them, Eddie’s heart pounded with a different type of anticipation. Something that came from the earlier revelations of what he had seen in the drawings and Steve’s expression.
Later, as the sun started to set and they had planned as much as they could in the middle of the forest, Dustin declared that he had to go home and call Suzie. Robin said she would walk with him along the path. Steve frowned.
“Are you guys going to be okay? It’ll be dark soon.”
“Speak for yourself. Don’t stay out too late with the local riffraff, alright?” She nodded at Eddie who waved at her.
“Yes, I’m a bad influence. We’ll be alright.” He replied, turning back to the graffiti he was adding to the bottom of Skull Rock. Steve said his goodbyes and Eddie heard the crunching leaves under his feet as he approached Eddie.
“So… Do you think we can do it?” Steve asked quietly and Eddie dropped his hand, capping the pen. He had written some of his favourite lyrics. They seemed poignant to what they were dealing with. It felt right. They had spent the evening fantastically playing into every potential outcome of how their plans could work out, how they could bring the truth to light, how they could bring justice to the family that treated them so kindly. Eddie looked up to the hazy sky.
“Sure. Why not?” He said blithely. There was something else weighing on his mind other than the journey they were about to embark upon. Eddie felt the pressure of it on the tip of his tongue. Now that it was there, the thought of what he and Steve could really become? It was the only thing he could focus on. Without a real thought or goal, Eddie turned to Steve. He stepped into his space quickly and Steve stumbled back slightly, but Eddie reached out to catch his arm. They paused, both of them looking at where Eddie held him. They stayed there for a moment. Usually Eddie would have let go so quickly that it would seem like he had been burned. So quick to hide away what he might be feeling. But this time, he forced himself to stay. To hold on. Steve cleared his throat.
“Everything… Okay?” His voice was thick with nervous tension. Eddie would die right then and there just for a small glimpse into what the other man could have been thinking. Then he could move on, he would know the right move. But for now, he would just have to take a chance. After their experience, it seemed easier to seize the moment than it had ever been before. Eddie pulled on Steve’s arm and shook his head.
“No. I think there’s something wrong with me.” Eddie said quietly. Steve frowned and moved closer. His protective instinct kicked in swiftly.
“What do you mean, what’s going on?” He asked seriously and Eddie closed his eyes.
“If I tell you, do you think things will change?” He asked. It was too vague, too odd of a question, Eddie knew it. Steve pulled his arm a little, flushing.
“H-hey… If this is about the drawings-”
“Maybe it is. Maybe it’s about everything.” Eddie interrupted before Steve could explain it away. He wouldn’t be able to bear him saying it was nothing. He tightened his grip and pulled Steve closer. Maybe he was crazy, but he could swear he could hear Steve’s heart beating just as quickly as his own.
“You never leave me alone. Just push and push… It could give someone the wrong idea.” Eddie said quickly. “Someone like me. When you said we’d stick together… I wanted to take it the wrong way, Steve.”
“Hey… Wait, Eddie-”
“When you draw a million little pictures of me… When you say you’re not letting me out of your sight-”
“Fuck, I thought you forgot that-”
“When you follow me around like a puppy dog, and you listen to everything I say, and you tell me I’m smart and… Fuck.” Eddie wiped his face with his other hand. “Steve, when you tell me we’re gonna stick this out together, do you mean it like you’re talking to Robin or… Have I been missing something?” Eddie finished and looked into Steve’s worried expression. His eyebrows were knitted together and Eddie’s eyes flickered down to where he was biting his lips so hard that the flesh around where his teeth were clamping down was white. Eddie suddenly realised how hard he was digging his fingers into Steve’s forearm and he lessened the pressure. He could see the crescent shaped indents from his nails as they faded slowly from Steve’s skin. The motion seemingly snapped Steve’s consciousness into action.
“Eddie… I don’t know what to say…” Steve whispered. Eddie felt a rush of embarrassment bloom from his gut and he dropped his hand entirely.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, I’m an idiot.” Eddie muttered, horrified that he had been wrong. It was exactly what he had been fearing the whole time since he had first walked into the same room as Steve Harrington. He had let his imagination get away from him. Eddie started to step away. “Just forget I said anything, okay? We can just walk away, I can just-”
“No! No, don’t walk away, I didn’t… I didn’t mean-” Steve struggled, stepping with Eddie and following him frantically. He growled at himself, squeezing his eyes shut and driving his fist into his forehead. “I’m not good at this, I’m not good at talking and figuring this kind of shit out, I…” He looked back up at Eddie with his flushed cheeks and eyes full of uncertainty. Eddie felt frozen in place and Steve inhaled sharply and grabbed his arms, pushing him back into the boulder that he hadn’t realised that they had gotten so close to.
“Fuck it.” Steve exhaled and Eddie’s eyes widened as Steve drifted his hands up from where they had been holding his arms, up his throat and onto his cheeks. His hands were warm and rough as they cupped Eddie’s face, holding him in place. Steve pressed his lips to Eddie’s, all firm pressure and rough intent. They stayed that way, unmoving in that moment. The wind rustled in the trees and the soft warm light of the sunset started to weigh down on them. Steve’s eyes were closed as pulled back, barely a millimetre away from Eddie’s lips as he spoke.
“I meant… I meant that . For a long time… I’ve meant that.” He whispered. Eddie took a deep breath, raising his hands and resting them tentatively on Steve’s chest. He could feel the ripple of bandages hiding underneath his shirt. He let his head fall forward, his forehead pressing into Steve’s.
“Yeah… I think this kind of together… I want it too.” Eddie spoke softly. It was terrifying, telling these kinds of truths. But the way Steve’s breath shuddered as he inhaled, as if he had never felt such relief in his life? It was worth the risk. Worth more to Eddie than his self preservation, more than his fear of rejection. Steve laughed gently, a nervous sound of flustered excitement.
“Thank god.” He said through a smile and moved in again to press another kiss to Eddie’s lips. This time, Eddie had the sense to return it, pressing back into Steve’s plush lips. It sparked something inside of him. A fire, an intensity. The moment that he would forever be able to pinpoint as the start of a long addiction. From that point on, he would try to give Steve the world. He would give him everything. The sun finally set and darkness blanketed them. Their first kisses shared in a forest, holding their memories of love and secrets for revenge forever within its roots.
-
August, 2073
Hawkins, Indiana
Present
Steve sat on the couch in a quiet sort of stupor. He still held Eddie’s hand in his own as the man beside him sat with tears streaming over his cheeks. His eyes were closed and he inhaled deeply, his shoulders shuddering with the air that entered him. Eddie coughed lightly and wiped at his skin, the tears shining on the back of his hand. Steve could see small little burn scars that were scattered along his forearms. Pock marks that never seemed relevant before but now held so much more importance. Eddie opened his eyes.
“So there it is. We were inseparable after that. We studied together almost every night. I watched you and Dustin rebuild that D.A.R.T. before you guys donated it to the grocery store. Robin helped me with brushing up on my coding. Turned out I had a knack for finding bugs. So I focused on diagnostics.” Eddie spoke quietly, trying not to look at Steve. He was so fragile, a fine clear glass after having to relive the experience. As he had told his story, Steve had felt the consciousness inside of him struggling. Remembering. Feeling. As Eddie spoke his side it was almost like a revelation at moments. Almost as if Eddie and Steve had never felt the need to compare notes. They had both been there. But now, Steve only knew it from Eddie’s side, finely complemented with the agony of mystery that came from whatever was living inside of his head. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to sort out the rest.
“Where are Joyce and Hop now?” Steve asked and Eddie licked his lips, clicking his tongue after.
“Well… About a year after we got hired at Vecna, they moved. Just couldn’t handle being around all the memories anymore I guess. Joyce was never the same, and Hop just fought every day. He picketed, put up signs, held meetings. Eventually he was forced into a mental health leave. So they decided it was best to head to California. Start fresh, or something. Jon and Nancy went there a year or two before…” Eddie nodded to himself. “Joyce didn’t want to suffer through trying to sell the house. Didn’t want to hire a realtor or anything. So, they gave it to us. They had a bunch of money from the settlement. It was… It was really nice of them. You-... Steve was so grateful.” Eddie caught himself and pulled his hand out from the entanglement of Steve’s fingers. Steve swallowed, feeling the loss in his chest. He looked around the room, slowly taking in the fact that it had been the site of so many lost moments for the family. That this had been the room where Steve and Eddie had spent the night in fear after coming home from the hospital. The floor that they had packed those bags. He shifted uncomfortably. All this time he lacked so much context. Eddie wiped at his cheeks, sniffling.
“Shit… Anyway, it didn’t take long to figure out what Vecna was really all about.” Eddie recovered, moving his hand to his own thigh and clutching the fabric of his pants. Steve leaned in, listening carefully. Eddie gave him a side eyed glance and a hint of a smile tugged at his lips. The movement must have been something familiar. The voice in Steve’s head laughed softly.
“Yeah, I’m still here.” He heard his own voice say in his mind before Eddie continued.
“Henry Creel is a self absorbed creep. Obsessed with power. It took all of like… three months maybe? Just three months to figure out that the whole company was directed to work on cell restoration. Immunities. Ways to lengthen human longevity.” Eddie snorted. “I’ll never understand it. Why would someone so miserable want to live forever? But the man is obsessed. He put every last cent into trying to find some scientific fountain of youth.” Steve wrinkled his nose.
“All of Vecna? How could he manage that?” Steve asked and Eddie put his hand in the air waving it around.
“Pretty easy I guess when your daddy leaves you billions. Creel outsourced to smaller companies and contractors to work on other types of tech, slapping the Vecna logo on it. If there was ever any trouble with patents, he would just buy out the companies. He used that tech to throw people off while using his own labs to try to take over the world. Once he does, he’ll never let go and he’s trying to make sure that he never has to.” Eddie growled and Steve remembered the ominous words in his head from the lab. About how they had given Henry Creel exactly what he wanted. He moved his hand across the space between the two of them, placing it on Eddie’s thigh. Eddie’s eyes flickered down at it before he looked at Steve, his face flushing. Steve squeezed.
“What did we do, Eddie?” The question was full of nervous anticipation. This was the part that Steve was worried about. How he came to consciousness inside that lab. How they ended up here now. Eddie swallowed.
“Fuck… We… We fucked up.” He whispered. “You were so sure… You were right of course. He loved it from the moment you made the pitch.” Eddie muttered, jealousy and regret laden in his voice.
“I should have put a stop to it then but I didn’t… I didn’t think.”
“Eddie. Please.” Steve insisted.
“We all knew the risks. It wasn’t his fault. Tell him. Tell him it’s not his fault-”
“Shush.” Steve hissed to himself and Eddie tilted his head questioningly. He opened his mouth to speak but Steve waved it off.
“It wasn’t… It wasn’t your fault, okay?” He said quickly and Eddie seemed placated, looking away.
“How would you even… Anyway. Steve came up with this idea. It catered to all of our strengths. He could design it, Dustin could build. Robin and I programmed the hell out of it. The perfect AI. The perfect human body, able to withstand the heat of the summer, able to live free from disease… The difference from a person would be unperceivable to the naked eye. Something you could program perfectly with every trait, every little part of someone.” Eddie explained, his knee starting to jiggle. “A perfect piece of bait for someone obsessed with immortality. All you had to do was flash that smile to him, sprinkle in the possibilities of shared consciousness and Creel was hooked.” Eddie nodded, the memory haunting him.
“So we made you. You were supposed to get close. We had a plan. You were going to go to work one day instead of Steve. No one would know the difference. You would walk into Creel’s office and-” Eddie cut himself off, looking guilty. “Fuck… This is so fucked.” Eddie stood up suddenly, walking to the kitchen and startling Steve. Eddie stepped over the broken glass of the mirror on the ground and Steve jumped up to follow.
“H-hey! Wait! What was I made for? What was I supposed to do? Eddie, why am I here??!”
“ Oh… I remember…” the voice in his head whispered and Steve closed his eyes tightly. He didn’t need the extra input right now. He wobbled as he crushed the glass on the floor. He heard the cupboards clattering and when Steve opened his eyes, Eddie was holding a bottle of liquor. He looked defeated and lost. He gripped the bottle so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.
“Fuck… Just give me a minute. Just…” He choked, opening the bottle and taking a long drink. Steve watched the bubbles of air lift and pop as Eddie downed the liquid. He rounded the table quickly, trying to stop him.
“Hey, hey! You’re gonna make yourself sick-”
“Hey, listen I think I remember, stop-”
“I’m already fucking sick, can’t you see?! Don’t you fucking get it?! You were the love of my life, and now you’re gone !” Eddie sobbed, wrestling with Steve for the bottle pathetically, sloshing the liquid onto their hands. Steve grimaced, forcing the liquor away and slamming it on the counter.
“I’m right here! I’m right fucking here!” He insisted and Eddie shook his head frantically.
“No! Not you. This is so cruel . My Steve, I would have never had to do this with my Steve. I would never have to explain to him… He just knew. Everything he was… Now it’s just you .” Eddie spat and silence fell between them. Steve felt the heavy weight of what the man had said fall over him like a blanket of lead, enveloping him and sinking into every wrinkle and crevice of what he was. A metal shell of a man who was loved. Steve stepped back, looking away. The feeling burned. It stung. Now he could put all the little pieces in place. The reasons why Eddie had been keeping him at such a distance. He loved Steve. So fully and honestly, with his whole life. He gave his all for the man. How could he be expected to take a substitute? Eddie slumped against the counter.
“I… I’m sorry.” Eddie whispered and Steve nodded. He walked over to the table and sat, hanging his head.
“Why did you make me Eddie?” Steve asked thinly. Eddie pressed his lips together. The voice in Steve’s head came through, clear and strong.
“We built you to destroy you. You were going to kill Henry Creel.” Steve’s own voice caused him to look up once again. He furrowed his brow.
“... What?” He hissed and Eddie looked at him oddly.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“We built you to infiltrate Vecna. You were supposed to enter the building and go to Creel. You were going to kill him. It’s in your programming. Then you were going to go to the U.D. and broadcast all the lies, all the cover-ups. It was all ready.” Steve’s voice continued and his mind swirled. So that was it. He was just created to destroy. Created as a method for murder. A plot. For what? Sentience, the moral grey areas. A tool for revenge.
“So… What, you just didn’t want blood on your own hands? Why make me look like you? What the fuck is the point?” They may as well have sent a drone with a gun. Eddie watched him in curious worry.
“What are you doing? Who are you talking to?” He asked softly and Steve stood up, waving him off and pacing.
“It had to be me. But it also couldn’t be me. Although, that part didn’t really work out anyway… Because after you uploaded the data you were supposed to head back to the beginning… Back to where Will and Jane died. We would start the same sequence. You would die, on camera. Taken by the flames. Steve Harrington would be, by all accounts, dead.” The revelation hit him like a semi, rough and knocking the wind from his chest. Steve clutched at himself, grabbing at the fabric. He choked, sobbing, shoulders hitching in the air. A guttural sound with no tears to show. Eddie lurched forward, hands freezing in the air as if he was unsure of how to proceed. Steve looked up at him, face contorted in fear and anger.
“You just made me… So I could die…” He whispered. The words pushed Eddie back into action. The lingering love, the time they shared. All of the bits and pieces that made the man in front of him almost identical to the one he fell in love with in his youth. It was enough to trigger him back into reflex. He swooped in, wrapping his arms around Steve. He sobbed into his ear, kissing his hair and smoothing it down. Steve could smell the whiskey on his breath.
“You weren’t supposed to be this way. This was never supposed to happen like this. Steve wasn’t supposed to… God, it all went wrong. I’m so sorry… I’m so fucking sorry.” He spoke frantically. Steve sat there, chest tight and head filled with broken thoughts.
“I’m… I’m sorry too. This is all wrong. We were playing like gods… Now look how we ended up.” Steve tilted his neck back, still making sounds of gentle anguish with every word of useless apology. “Tell him that I’m here… Please, tell him I’m here. Tell him I’m in here, we can make this right-”
“How could it be right?!” Steve cried out and Eddie squeezed him more tightly. “How can it be right? I love him too! I love him, I feel it, I feel. But you’re here too, and you love him, and he loves you… I’m so… I’m so…” Fucked up. Confused. Tired. Lost. Broken. Steve couldn’t land on one singular thing. Eddie pulled back, staring at him with broken confusion.
“God, what’s happening? I think… Do you need a reboot? What the fuck is-”
“Don’t you fucking dare turn me off right now, Eddie.” Steve growled through his misery. “Don’t you fucking dare do that to me-”
“Who were you talking to? What’s happening?” Eddie choked back. Steve lifted a hand, pushing at Eddie’s shoulder. He felt suffocated. He needed space.
“I’m talking to him. I’m talking to Steve, just give me a fucking second-”
“... What?” Eddie blinked. The colour drained from his face but Steve was so deep into his own turmoil now that he barely cared.
“I said give me a second, you don’t have to turn me off, I can handle it-”
“Steve, what do you mean? What do you mean, who are you talking to? Tell me, right now, tell me-” Eddie pushed, his voice rising and his hands shaking. Steve wanted to scream. So he did. The frustration reached a boiling point and he opened his mouth, letting it all pour out. Wordless and angry before it turned wretched and mournful.
“I’m talking to Steve! He’s in here, okay? He’s in here with me, telling me all this shit, pushing me around. Making me have these fucking dreams. What do I do? What do you want me to do, Eddie? Please, I’ll do anything you want me to, just please. Please, give me a fucking second!” Steve finished in a broken scream. He needed time to put all this together. He needed a moment to try to collect the pieces. The edges of his vision and thought started to fizz and glitch. Almost like a malfunctioning screen. Steve’s mind whistled softly. It was almost as if he could see the coding. The program flashed, letters and commands across his brain, just briefly. Steve winced, clutching at his skull. Eddie pulled back, stepping away slowly and staring at him.
“Oh my god… Dustin… Dustin was right… Holy shit, they did it. They really fucking did it, how-” He swirled around holding his head. “That’s why… Holy shit, this whole time… They must have known our plan… They must have…” He wandered around muttering as Steve took heaving breaths, trying to calm down. The voice in his head seemed to follow the broken thoughts.
“They knew, Eddie. I don’t know for how long, but they cornered me that day. Creel looked so fucking smug, so damn self indulgent. God, Eddie, I wanted to warn you but it was too late-”
“So… It was no accident. Creel must have killed him… He must have done this-”
“They hooked me up to some sort of device in U.D. and as soon as I saw our bot I fucking knew, Eddie. I tried so hard to get out of there, to get back to you-”
“Oh god… What did we do… If you’re in there…”
“He did it, Eddie. He figured it out.”
“Then Creel is-”
“He’ll be immortal. He’ll take our plans. He’ll make his own perfect body and when the time comes, he’ll jump right in like a fucking mech warrior.”
“But then that means…” Eddie finally looked up to Steve who had been sitting, listening, waiting. Processing all the pieces as they lined up. Between the two, he figured it out. Instead of the group being able to implement their plan for revenge, Creel had been one step ahead. He used their research against them. It was no accident that Steve Harrington had been in the U.D. that day. Creel had brought him there for one final test. The transfer of consciousness into the machine that they had so painstakingly created. Eddie stared at him brokenly.
“... Baby? Are you in there?” He whispered. Steve felt the being inside him crumble and break.
“I’m here… God, let me talk to him, I wanna touch him, I wanna talk to him, please-” The voice begged, but Steve didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to let him out. The experiment wasn’t perfect. It didn’t merge the creation with inspiration. They would have to share for eternity. A constant battle. Steve lifted a hand to his mouth, holding it for a moment before reaching out to Eddie.
“He… He wants to touch you.” Steve rasped. He wanted to as well. He needed to. Eddie lurched forward, falling into Steve. The motion threw them off balance. They fell together onto the floor. A flash of memory jumped over Steve’s vision. The two of them holding each other, giggling on the floor. Young and reckless. The first night they moved in. Another flash, Eddie kneeling on the floor. Flash, both of them cleaning something up. Flash, looking over blueprints and sketches that they had laid out. Steve felt dizzy.
“You weren’t supposed to leave my sight.”
“You weren’t supposed to leave my sight.”
“You weren’t supposed to leave me at all.”
–
The time that it took to recover felt almost like a dream that was filled with fog and poison. Eddie and Steve lay on the floor for a long time, Eddie sobbing sweet apologies and Steve responding in kind as a sort of mouthpiece for the man within. It was an odd sensation, to repeat the things you mean and want to say to the man you love as someone else who was also yourself. It was a labyrinth of sensation and conflicted emotion. The two of them finally were able to get up from the floor to move back to the couch. The night had descended and sunlight no longer filtered into the house. As they left the kitchen, Eddie grabbed the bottle of liquor to bring to the couch. This time Steve didn’t argue. He only wished that he was able to feel its effects as well.
“So there’s two of you now…” Eddie slurred as they sat, exhausted from the overstimulation and new information. Steve nodded.
“I guess so. If that’s how you see it. I feel the same.” He responded. Eddie’s hand laid palm up on Steve’s thigh as Steve traced the outline with his fingers. In and out. Eddie sighed.
“Creel can’t know. We have to hide you… Keep you safe-”
“You know that won’t work. We’ll have to just… Play the game.” Steve said softly and Eddie snorted, taking a long drink. The bottle was already half empty.
“I’m so tired.” He hissed, letting the words out with the burn of alcohol. Steve hummed.
“Go to sleep.”
“That’s not what he meant.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Eddie mumbled. Steve laughed softly at the tandem answer.
“I know.” He sighed. The two of them had talked about how Steve could hear his own consciousness in his mind. How the dreams had been Steve’s way of trying to recover the memories he so desperately wanted to share. Steve asked Eddie if they would ever become one, if he would disappear. It was a question that had a painful undertone of fear. Would he ever know if he was consumed by the original? Would it matter? Eddie didn’t have an answer. Their situation was unprecedented. There was no way to know what would happen next. They would just have to wait and see. They would lay in wait for Vecna’s next move. Steve stopped tracing Eddie’s fingers.
“Can I sleep in your room tonight?” Steve asked, hushed and timid. Eddie was quiet and he took another drink.
“I don’t… I don’t know. It’s still…”
“Different.”
“... Yeah.” Eddie agreed simply and Steve nodded. He started to move his fingers again.
“But… I am him. I love you, and I’m him.” It was as if the solution was something as easy as a simple equation. Steve knew it wasn’t, but why shouldn’t it be? Eddie sucked in a breath.
“... But you aren’t. You can’t really be him again.” Eddie said gently. Steve traced his hand up Eddie’s forearm.
“Why not?” His voice was silk. The consciousness inside of him grew jealous despite himself. Eddie looked at Steve’s fingers as they dragged across his skin. They watched together as his skin rose in tiny bumps.
“Jesus… I don’t know. You won’t age… Your hair won’t grow…” Eddie’s voice trembled slightly and Steve leaned in closer, filling the space between them. Eddie closed his eyes. “You’ll never cry, you’ll never eat, your moles will never change-” He carried on and Steve tilted his head to push it against Eddie’s. The man stopped and held his breath.
“But I know the same inside. I know because I know I love you."
"Just like I always will." His mind added. Eddie sighed, taking another drink and leaning into the touches.
"This isn't… It’s not right." Eddie said, tears flowing again as they had on and off throughout the night. Steve lifted a hand to stroke them off of his cheek.
"Every night I'll dream. I'll remember a little more. I'll keep on finding all those bits and pieces, Eddie, and one day… One day I'll be the one you can love too." Steve cooed. Because he knew it was true. He could already feel it. Eddie sniffed.
"... Okay. Come on. Let's go to bed." He struggled to get the words out over wet gasps. He stood, placing the bottle on the table beside the couch and pulled Steve along. They walked down the hallway, hand in hand. As they slipped inside the door leading into Eddie’s room, Steve turned off the light. The house was bathed in darkness. A finality. An end to a chapter. Because the rest was to figure out in the future. For now, they could rest.
Three Weeks Later
Soft, warm light filtered in through the windows of the bedroom and lit up the walls. The room was untidy, messy, but not dirty. It was a much sweeter feeling. Lived in. There were clothes rumpled on the carpeted flooring and an empty coffee mug on top of a dresser where the drawers didn’t all quite close. Then there were the pictures. The walls were filled with pictures. Framed photos, big and small, all of them full of smiling memories. Eddie and Steve, Steve and Robin, the kids all lined up for Halloween. Will and Jane standing together with Mike in between. They were placed so closely together that it was almost a little ridiculous, the frames touching and hanging askew. Steve looked around the room from where he lay within the rumpled sheets. He hadn’t noticed the pictures the first night. It was dark and they were so, so tired. But when he awoke in Eddie’s room like he was now on that following morning, his heart ached. The early light revealed his secret. All the spaces around the house where the walls looked strangely bare all made sense. Eddie had brought each and every one to his room. To be surrounded by the things he loved when he had been so alone. It made Steve’s heart ache. Even now, three weeks in, it still moved him. Steve turned slowly in the bed toward the heat of another sleeping body. He slipped his arm over Eddie’s pale skin and let his fingers run over the burns that adorned his skin. Steve pulled him close, earning a soft sigh from the other man. Steve loved the sound. Everything within him wanted to bottle it up.
“Yeah. Me too. Do it again.” His inner self demanded and Steve smiled, dipping his head to fit gently into the crook of Eddie’s neck to drag his lips along the skin, breathing in the scent of his hair. Eddie huffed again, a small rumbling of his vocal chords accompanying this time.
“S’too early.” Eddie mumbled and Steve pressed a little kiss to Eddie’s ear before pulling away and appreciating the view. A soft pink flush crept up Eddie’s skin and he turned his head into the pillow. The man was still shy. Still worried. He still had doubts about who Steve was from time to time. Steve pressed his lips together and sighed.
“I’ll make some coffee.” He said quietly, pulling away and crawling out of the bed, tucking the blanket in alongside the man who lay there still, careful not to let in the cold air.
Steve left to the kitchen, thinking vaguely about the past few weeks. It was a slow process, trying to understand what parts of him were Steve Harrington, what was programmed, and what was learned. Eddie had glued the flesh of his hand together as best as he could but Steve could still see the seams of each tear while he tipped the grounds of coffee into the filter.
They had made the decision not to tell Dustin and Robin what they had discovered. It was risky enough that Creel had some sort of plan. There were so many unanswered questions about what his intentions had been, sending him back to live with Eddie. Eddie had mused that maybe it was a cosmic type of punishment for the many years of casual disobedience that Eddie had shown the man. Steve wondered if it was more than that. The memories of what had happened the day that Steve’s consciousness was pushed into the body that they had bade were still foggy and unclear. The voice in Steve’s head murmured about it often, picking at clues that just weren’t there yet.
They decided to lay low at the house in the end. Continuing to fake diagnostic tests. Eddie continued on entering data as if there was nothing to report. No feelings or conflicts which was of course a lie. But they bought themselves time. Time to think, time to plan. Most importantly, time to heal.
The first few days were awkward. Hard. Steve’s consciousness longed to tell Eddie things that he just wasn’t ready for. At first, Steve tried to relay each message, but it was clear that Eddie could barely handle it. The sweet nothings, the recollections. There was a dilemma happening deep inside the man. The fight between succumbing wholly to the love of his life and his glorious reincarnation, and the moral grey hues of wanting to love, wanting to touch something that he put together piece by piece. Something inhuman. Steve tried to be patient. Some days were better than others.
Once in a while, Eddie would lean into his touches. He would laugh gently at his jokes. They fell into a simple routine, similar to what they had been building up to before. Steve would cook dinner. He would read. He would clean. Eddie would follow him around, watching and talking to him. Listening to music and chatting about this and that. He would eat the food that Steve would effortlessly create, and Steve would watch him eat. Something inside him longed to be able to taste it as well. But it was okay. It was fine, as long as Eddie ate every bite.
It was sweet, easy. Until the dreams started again just a few days ago. Steve had memories in the middle of the night of heated moments between him and Eddie. Fervent touches and stolen kisses in the workshop. Long, languid hours where Steve would rock into Eddie, filling him deeply and drawing out his own name from kiss swollen lips. Steve would wake up filled with longing. He would wake up filled with need . But, most of all, he would wake up filled with fear. The overbearing truth that neither of them wanted to discuss. The root of reasoning of why Eddie was really holding back. The reason why they were scared to fight the system any longer. Why they both wanted to hide away in the old Byers house forever.
The haunting reality of Eddie’s mortality.
One day, Eddie would be gone and Steve would be here, pacing these halls. Their positions switched, but tenfold. The parting of lovers once again.
As the coffee switched off, Steve was torn from his thoughts. He glanced at the steam coming from the pot before opening a drawer to grab a post-it, jotting down a quick note before heading out the back door of the house. Eddie had likely fallen back to sleep, and Steve knew he had another hour or so to work. He wandered to the shed that led into the workshop, opening the door and keying in the code on the lock that Eddie had repaired. His footsteps echoed as he ventured down into the private lab, straightening a few things on Eddie’s desk as he passed it to sit down at his own. He opened the top drawer, pulling out a tablet and pen, sliding his finger across and looking at the brightened screen. He smiled as the documents he had been working on opened up quickly, and he reached over the desk to grab a sketchbook that was shelved at the back, opening it to the middle. The images were beautiful, sketched in graphite and shaded with care. A familiar man with dark curls and doe eyes, labelled with measurements and annotated with where birthmarks and tattoos were placed around his body. Steve called out with a distracted voice.
“Computer, play ‘Of Space and Time’.” He asked and within a moment, the gentle strum of a guitar started to play over the speakers. Steve’s lips curved into a small smile and he turned the tablet to start to draw into it, perfecting the markings on his latest design. Eddie’s face was on the screen, drawn with special care. Steve cleared his throat and looked up at the computer monitor. “Camera, on.”
"Hi- Uhh… Day seven here on Project 91110-E. Still in the design stage. I've been reading all the programming info that's stored here from… Well. I'm definitely going to need some help." Steve tapped his chin with the stylus that was in his hand. "He'll come around though. Steve keeps saying so. It'll take some time but… If Steve could wait for him before, I can wait for him now." He smiled.
"Whenever he's ready, I'll show him how we can be together forever." Steve said softly, looking down at the tablet and zooming out from the image he was working on. The perfect scale sketch of Eddie, all his curves and edges. Steve glanced back at the camera.
"Then we can take on the rest of the world."
♪
A matter of space,
A question of time,
I follow the stars
Until the first light.