Chapter Text
September 3 at nearly 1 in the afternoon
The bull pen went silent the moment Harvey hit the floor and he took a moment out of what was turning into a very bad day to enjoy that. It wasn't that it had never happened before--it happened every time--it was just that he was a stop-and-smell-the-roses kind of guy. Of course, it'd be even more enjoyable if his own associate was cowering at his desk along with everyone else. The fact that he wasn't made Harvey's scowl deepen.
"Where's Kyle?" he barked to the room at large and wasn't surprised when no one even looked up. He looked down at the rookie nearest him and hooked his finger into the cord dangling around his neck to pull the bud from his ear, tinny music spilling out as the tiny headphone hit the desk. The kid startled, his highlighter skidding over the page as he bit back what could have been a curse. "Kyle," Harvey said again when he had the kid's attention.
"He left with Louis nearly an hour ago. I think they were going to play tennis."
"What are you doing?"
"Louis told me to proof--"
"Did you pass Bankruptcy?"
"Yeah."
"With Cargill or Bryson?"
"Bryson."
"What's your name?"
"Mike Ross."
"Grab the files off Kyle's desk and follow me."
Harvey turned on his heels and headed back toward the elevators, not looking to see if this Mike Ross was following. Harvey was sure he would. He'd better. Harvey had a client meeting in one hour and the contracts needed to be air-tight by then.
Mike sat on the couch in Harvey's office when Harvey pointed toward it and began proofing, calling out typos and bad wording for Harvey to fix until Harvey finally figured out Mike was outpacing him.
"Are you speed reading?"
"A little bit. Section 32(a) doesn't match what's in the original--" Mike stopped when he realized that Harvey was still staring at him, waiting for more of an explanation. "I got into the habit when I was in high school. I'm thorough, I promise. Section 32(a)?"
"Right. Go on."
Three hours later...
"Okay. So I just had a really strange experience."
"Did your grandma not explain what happens when a girl and a boy who really like each---"
"Ha haha haha. You know Harvey Specter?"
Rachel finally looked up from the screen of her computer to look at Mike, surprised to see how keyed up he was, as if he'd had one energy drink too many. She hadn't seen him that excited since he'd started. It did nice things to his eyes, she decided, and settled back into her chair to cross her arms over her chest, inviting him to continue. "Everyone knows Harvey, Mike."
"I didn't mean--" Mike shook his head and took another step toward Rachel's desk, letting her door swing closed behind him. He was smiling now--more than excited, he was verging on actually looking happy. "He let me help him on a case."
"He never asks the other associates for help."
"I know, right?" Mike tipped his head back and laughed at the ceiling before he began pacing her office. "Kyle flaked and he's really amazing."
"Kyle?"
"Harvey! He took my suggestions! He let me go with him to meet the clients, and then he asked my opinion after. And actually listened to it like it mattered."
"This is going to become a whole hero worship thing, isn't it."
"No. Maybe. Did I mention he's amazing?"
The Next Time It Happens
The second time it happened, Kyle really was slick. Mike didn't even realize he'd been had until he was half way through summarizing an opinion for one of Harvey's cases. His momentary irritation gave way to admiration easily enough, not for Kyle but for Harvey. Mike was even willing to overlook the fact that he knew Kyle was taking credit for Mike's work just to have the chance of being a part of Harvey's cases, even if Harvey didn't know, which was why Mike was still letting Kyle "trick" him into doing his work. It wasn't that Mike didn't have enough of his own work--he did--but nothing interested him the way Harvey's cases did.
This time (which was at least the fifth time), the Oakhurst contract the case was built on was a work of art, created nearly a dozen years ago when Harvey had been two years younger than Mike, not that it showed. It was brilliant, which made finding the mistake buried 27 pages in all the more surprising.
Mike looked up, even less surprised to find Kyle no where to be seen.
"Anyone know where Kyle is?" Mike asked the room at large. No one answered.
Mike highlighted the paragraph, read it through one more time before he circled it in red and put a sticky note next to it. He knew what it meant--it was a mistake that really wasn't and Harvey had managed to make messing up into an art form. He could use it to settle and save his clients millions, even if 12 years ago it would have been considered a major error. Times change. He looked around the bullpen again, leaning over the wall of his cubicle to look down the hall. No Kyle.
Gathering up the files, Mike took the elevator up two floors to Harvey's office and stopped outside of Donna's desk. Beyond the glass walls, he could see Harvey leaning back in his chair, tossing a baseball in the air as he talked on the phone.
"What do you need, kid?"
Mike quailed a bit when Donna fixed him with narrowed eyes, as if she didn't quite trust him. He knew she probably didn't. "To see Harvey."
"That's the joy of glass walls I suppose."
"To talk with him. Please," Mike tried instead, turning his best smile in her direction.
"No."
"But I have--"
"No."
"It's about the merger that--"
Donna stopped typing long enough to look up at Mike, her eyebrows raised. "The one Kyle's working on right at this very moment?"
"Yes," Mike said slowly, drawing it out. He looked down the hall, thinking fast. "He just needed me to-- Kyle was--"
"Playing tennis with Louis again?"
"Maybe. It's self-preservation. Kyle does this whole thing where he thinks he's tricked me into doing his work and I let him because then I don't have to look at Louis' legs in tennis shorts. It's win win."
"So, it's been going on for a while."
"Don't tell Harvey?"
"Of course not."
"You're going to tell him, aren't you." Statement, not question. Mike could tell by the way she smiled at him, all teeth and bright eyes. "Look, I'm not trying to get Kyle into trouble. I just know that Harvey is taking this case to trial and it's completely unnecessary and Kyle won't be back until it's too--"
Donna raised her hand, cutting him off, and looked over her shoulder. Harvey waved him in.
Mike pushed into Harvey's office, nervously twisting the file in his hands. "Were you listening to that?"
"Show me what you found."
A month later, the exact moment his personal life goes to hell
"Mike--"
Mike closed his mouth with a snap and looked across the table where Jenny sat with her arms crossed over her chest.
"You do realize you've been talking about Harvey Specter non-stop for the last thirty minutes?"
"No. Sorry?"
"I don't mind, not really. It definitely makes a change from all the times when you complained about your job."
"I don't complain." Jenny tilted her head to the side and pinned him with a look of complete disbelief. "Okay, maybe I complain a little, but it's not what I expected it to be. Except with Harvey."
"He sounds like all the rest of them."
"He's not. He completely different. Better."
"Should I be jealous?"
"What? No," Mike protested but he could see something like distrust in Jenny's eyes. It made him feel guilty. He reached for his glass of water just so he had an excuse not to look at her anymore because he didn't want Jenny to know that he found Harvey attractive. He'd have to be dead not to, he reasoned to himself, but it wasn't about that. "You have nothing to worry about Jenny. C'mon."
"Then let's set a date."
"What?"
Jenny held up her hand, the small diamond on her hand glinting in the low light of her apartment. "You do remember asking me, right? The same night you signed with Pearson Hardman--"
"I remember, Jenny."
"I do, too, and I don't even have half your memory. You made me a promise, Mike. You made a lot of them."
"I know. I'm sorry. I don't--" Mike shifted, trying not to let his panic show. "Where is this even coming from? You knew my first year with the firm would be hard. It's just not the right time."
"I know. I just-- You talk about him all the time now."
"I'm sorry. I can't believe you're jealous of Harvey. He's just-- He's brilliant. You should have seen him with these clients today. It's just--" Mike paused and shook his head. "Look, it's not like I even see him that often. I don't work for him."
"It'd almost be better if you did. Then at least I could understand where all this was coming from."
"All what?"
"Your hero worship." Mike huffed out a laugh and Jenny raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"
"That's what Rachel said. Hero worship. I wasn't even sure he knew my name until last week when he asked me to help Kyle with some research. I admire him, Jenny, that's all. I'm with you, right?"
"Are you asking?"
"Jenny--"
"It wouldn't exactly be unprecedented."
"What do you mean?" he asked, though he already knew what she was talking about. Sometimes it was just easier to pretend none of it had happened.
"Trevor."
Mike grimaced, hating to be reminded of his ex-boyfriend--one that they had shared. "That was a long time ago."
"Senior year of high school and all through college."
"We were kids."
"Are you saying your interest in boys was a phase?"
"No, but I'm not defining it, either. I meant that Trevor is in the past and we were all very young."
"We're not kids anymore."
"No."
"And grown-ups get married. They have kids and mortgages."
"And jobs." Mike shifted in his chair again, tapping his fingers alongside his dirty plate, making a quick decision. "Speaking of, I should go. I have to get up early--busy day tomorrow."
"You said you were going to stay the night."
"I know but I don't think it's a good idea."
"Stay, Mike. I'm sorry I brought up Trevor."
"It's not that."
"And that I got jealous of your boss."
"He's not my boss and there's nothing going on between us. I don't even want there to be."
"For such a smart guy, you're a really terrible liar, Michael Ross."
"So you've always said." Mike picked up his bag, crossed the strap over his chest, and they stood there looking at each other for a long time before Jenny hugged him tight. When they broke apart, Mike held her ring in the palm of his hand. "Jenny--"
"Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a little bit until you figure out what it is that you do want."
"Okay. All right," he said, and they both knew he gave in much too easily. "I'm sorry."
"So am I, Mike."
Two nights later, nearly midnight, which is two hours later from when Harvey had waited for Kyle to leave for the night so he could text Mike to come help him
"What's wrong with you?"
"What?" Mike looked up from the stack of papers he was reading to see Harvey studying him. "Nothing."
"You're a terrible liar."
Mike groaned and let his head drop onto the table, making a mental note to work on his poker face. "I think I broke up with my girlfriend last night."
"You're not sure?"
"I'm apparently not sure about anything right now."
"Did you need a hug or something?"
"What?" Mike jerked his head up, his eyes widening until he saw the mock concern on Harvey's face give way to amusement. "Asshole," he said but without any heat. "I should have known. I could really be hurting here."
"Are you?"
"I'm--" Mike stopped, looking again at Harvey and was strangely gratified that this time there was something honest behind the question. "I'm all right. It was a long time coming. I think we were together mostly out of habit, you know? We'd been together since college. I was dating this guy and--"
"Guy?"
"Yeah, Trevor. It was--" Mike stopped again, biting at his lip. He couldn't believe he'd actually brought Trevor up to Harvey. He could feel his face heating up as he scrambled to pick up his highlighter and his place. "You know what? Forget I said that. I'm fine. I'm good."
"You just came out to me."
"A little bit. It doesn't matter, does it? That I'm bi."
"Not in the least."
"Good. Thank you. I don't like the labels anyway. It's about the person, right?"
"Sure, and don't thank me."
Mike opened his mouth to thank Harvey again but bit it back, going back to his reading instead, trying to get lost in the language of the document rather than worrying about what would happen if the other associates found out. Or worse, Louis.
"Hey, Mike," Harvey said a minute later, interrupting Mike's train wreck of thought. When Mike looked up, Harvey was leaning in a bit closer, watching Mike intently to be sure he had Mike's attention. "It doesn't matter. Not here. Not with me."
"It's just...this place, you know?"
"Yeah. I know." Harvey smiled at him and something warm and reassuring flooded Mike's thoughts.
A few minutes later Harvey broke the silence between them again. "It's probably a bad idea to ask this now that I know how indecisive you are but how sure are you that you can find the loophole we need to keep this case out of court?"
"Of that, I'm positive."
A few months later…
Mike was pretty sure that Louis had fixed the results of the mock trial pairings and that it wasn't merely chance that saw him facing off against Harvey's associate. Ever since Louis had discovered that Harvey had come to rely on Mike more often than not, he'd gone out of his way to make sure Mike understood the office's pecking order: Kyle was Harvey's associate and Mike was...well, Mike belonged to whoever needed him as long as it wasn't Harvey.
Mike waited until the room was clear of Jessica and all the senior partners before he headed back to the bullpen, clutching his trial brief against his chest. He'd been to trial 114 times prior to coming to Pearson Hardman and won nearly every time, which he felt pretty good about. Kyle, who Harvey had never let go to court yet, felt that Mike's record didn't count for much, which is exactly what he overheard as he rounded the corner.
"I'm the national mock trial champion, Harvey. I can wipe the floor with Ross."
"What have I told you about going to trial?" Harvey asked Kyle and Mike couldn't help but give the answering refrain.
"Never go unless you know you can win."
Harvey's grin was sharp, as if Mike was a particularly quick study, which he was, and then it seemed like more. The stab of desire that went through Mike surprised him, and he smiled back, ducking his head as if it would keep Harvey from seeing the sudden blush on his cheeks.
"But he came out of the D.A.'s office." Kyle, oblivious to both Harvey and Mike's reaction, curled his lip with scorn, as if he'd just accused Mike of having not attended Harvard. "He doesn't have what it takes. He shouldn't even be here."
Mike looked up at that, watching as Harvey's eyebrows climbed, surprised, it seemed, by this bit of Mike Ross lore he apparently hadn't known they shared. Harvey, while rarely spoken of by Cameron Dennis himself, was legendary, even nearly a dozen years later. Mike had had his old office and had carved his name into the middle desk drawer next to Harvey's and the four other A.D.A.'s who had had the desk in the intervening years. He had a sudden impulse to share that with Harvey but bit it back as Kyle still stared at him as if to say, now Harvey will finally see you for what you are. Mike couldn't believe Kyle didn't know about Harvey's own stint in the D.A.'s office.
"How many years were you there?" Harvey asked, apparently not planning to enlighten Kyle.
"Two."
"But that means you would have graduated--"
"Early. I started early."
"I thought you were a rookie."
"Skipping grades at P. S. 182 is not as much an accomplishment as Mike would like us to believe but now that we've established we have a child prodigy in our midst, perhaps we can return to the business at hand. The associates have work," Louis said, looking pointedly at Mike and Kyle to send them scurrying back to their desks. "And now the grown-ups can talk."
Four days later, and Mike never quite got why Rachel was so nice to him, since he, too, was just an overpaid idiot with a shiny Harvard degree who had hit on her his first day. Not that he'd meant to. It was accidental flirting. He couldn't help it. It just sort of happened sometimes. Never mind that. It's four days later and Mike might be freaking out just a little. He knew how big a deal mock trials were at PH even if he didn't quite agree--real trials were more important, right? Right?
"Are you ready for your trial?"
Mike twitched his lips at Rachel's question, ignoring her for the moment as he picked at the plate of food the waiter had just set in front of him. "I can't believe I let you drag me to these places."
"It's cuisine, Mike. You asked me to help you with--"
"Yes, I know. Just tell me what I'm eating and how I'm supposed to enjoy it."
"Pork belly braised in--"
"Never mind. Don't tell me." At the sound of his phone trilling, Mike heaved an exaggerated sigh of relief as he pulled it from inside his jacket pocket. "Sorry. Harvey texted me."
"Do you need to go back?"
"No." He puzzled over the screen for another second before showing it to Rachel: SETTLE.
"So, it's true."
"What's true."
"I shouldn't tell you."
"Yes, you should. You're clearly dying to."
"You're right, I am. Louis bet Harvey ten thousand dollars that you couldn't beat Kyle."
"Wait. Harvey bet on me? Who did you hear that from?"
"Donna. So you have to win."
"Kyle's never going to settle. He's some kind of mock trial savant."
"I can't believe you used Kyle and savant in the same sentence."
"There's got to be something to him since Harvey chose him as his associate."
Rachel shook her head, pointing to his untouched plate with the tines of her fork. "Eat."
"Not hungry."
"Take one bite and I'll tell you another secret." Mike did. "Harvey didn't chose him, Mike. Now eat."
"How do you know--Donna. How does she know everything?"
"In this case, it was because she was there. They practically drew his name out of a hat."
Mike nearly crowed, showing Rachel the first sign that he actually did possess a tiny vindictive streak. Harvey didn't pick Kyle, at least not on purpose. He wondered if Kyle knew. Of course he didn't. "Can you imagine Harvey interviewing a bunch of recent graduates? I bet he was so bored."
"He has a Harvard degree. He couldn't have been that much different from them when he was their age."
"There's no way Harvey was anything like Kyle. Besides, he came from the D.A.'s office, too."
"What? Harvey?"
"You didn't know?"
"No!"
"How does nobody know this? I thought it would be common knowledge but you know, Kyle didn't know either. He told Harvey that I didn't deserve to be here because I'd been an A.D.A. Explains the bet."
Rachel waved her hand dismissively. "Harvey would have made that bet anyway."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because it's you, Mike. Harvey likes you."
"He feels sorry for me because I have to work with Louis."
"In six years that I've been here, Harvey has rarely talked with an associate, at least not willingly. He's certainly never felt sorry for one. He likes you, Mike."
"Not me," Mike said, unable to wrap his thoughts around the idea. "He likes--"
"You. Now shut up and eat."
Mike poked at his lunch again, avoiding Rachel's eyes even as a warm feeling flooded his chest. Harvey liked him.
"So, what are you going to do?"
Mike jerked his head up, his eyes wide. "About--"
"The trial. You have to crush Kyle."
"I'm going to settle."
An hour later.
"I'm not settling."
"C'mon, Kyle. Don't be stupid."
"Is this how you won all your cases as an A.D.A.? Calling opposing counsel stupid?"
"Harvey wants us to settle. It's win-win that way."
"No way. He wants me to win. He made a bet with Louis."
Mike stared at Kyle for a second, feeling sorry for him in a way that was distinctly unwanted. "You heard about that?" he hedged, trying to be gentle.
"Scared?"
Mike is truly confused for a moment before he realized that yes, Kyle knew about the bet but no, he didn't know his senior partner had bet against him. His compassion for Kyle spiked to new levels and he almost wanted to offer him a hug. Almost. "No. I'm not afraid, I'm just--"
"You should be. I was--"
"I know, Kyle. Since you were in diapers, arguing with your nanny over nap time. I am offering, as a gentleman and as your friend, let's settle."
"We're not friends."
Mike blinked once and nodded twice. Yeah, hugs were completely off the table. "Right. Not friends, good to know. I'll see you in court."
So...that happened.
Mike countersued, which earned him praise from Jessica and half a smile from Harvey. It was the smile that kept him going when Kyle successfully filed a petition with the court to exclude one of Mike's witnesses. In the end, Mike didn't mind much considering he had no one to play the role. He'd thought for half a minute he could ask Jenny but then that would be all sorts of awkward. They hadn't really talked since. Well. It solved a problem and sparked another piece of texted advice from Harvey. Play the man. Mike could do that.
That Donna was playing Kyle's client was a bit nerve wracking. Mike froze the moment Donna started to cry. He hadn't expected that, and nearly forgot his strategy. Donna could take it, Mike was sure, at least he hoped so as he peppered her with questions in a way he'd learned from Cameron Dennis himself. Give no quarter, he remembered from the pre-trial pep talks of his A.D.A. days, and silently hated himself as Donna cried harder for a moment in response to a question before Kyle finally--belatedly--began to object.
Mike knew he'd won when Jessica smiled at him, but it wasn't until Donna winked at him as she stepped down from the stand that he felt as though he could breath again.
Jessica was generous with her praise, as were the other senior partners. Mike thanked them all before going back to his cubicle to finish the briefs he'd been working on that morning. He didn't feel like celebrating. He'd meet the other associates for drinks that night because he knew it was expected of him and he got that, he really did--but he found he didn't want to.
"You did good, kid," Harvey told him when Mike stopped by his office on his way out.
"I tried to settle."
"You knew you could win, though."
"Yeah." Mike sat down on the couch, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hand over the back of his head. "I knew I could win against him."
The couch dipped as Harvey sat close to Mike, letting their legs touch. Mike could feel the heat from Harvey's body from ankle to hip and fought against sinking into it.
"So, what's the problem," Harvey asked when Mike didn't say anything else.
"It didn't feel good to win."
"No?"
"You worked for Cameron, too, right?" Mike asked but it wasn't question. He already knew the answer, and he nodded when Harvey did. "I didn't like going after Donna like that."
"She thoroughly enjoyed herself, Mike. You don't have to worry about her. She wanted to do it. Wanted to see what you could do."
"I know, but it's the kind of thing Cameron wanted us to do. He made me read The Art of War once when he thought I was being soft."
Harvey made a sound somewhere between a laugh and groan, and nodded again.
"I didn't want to win because I knew Kyle had more to lose," Mike said after a while. "His title means a lot to him. It felt petty."
"So why did you? If you were smart enough to figure out how to win, then you knew how to lose, too."
"Yeah." Mike laughed but there wasn't much humor behind it. He shook his head before he worked up his courage to look Harvey in the eyes. "I didn't want to disappoint you."
"You didn't. You couldn't."
"I wish I had your same confidence."
"You are but the padawan and I--"
Mike tipped his head back and laughed out loud, letting his shoulder bump against Harvey's.
"Listen, Mike. You have to get Cameron out of your head and decide what kind of lawyer you want to be."
"How did you do it?"
"I listened to Jessica."
"I don't think she much likes me."
"You'd be surprised. In the meantime, you can listen to me."
"I'm trying."
"I know you are, kid."
Two weeks later and Harvey's consented to doing that stupid fist bump thing twice, never where anyone can see but goddamn if the kid doesn't earn it every time. The third time, Jessica sees and her face does that thing where it looks like she's torn between being proud and irritated. Harvey has to admit he kinda likes making her do that but when she calls him to her office, he knows she's decided to go with irritated.
"Harvey, you need to back off Mike Ross."
"Has he made a complaint?" Harvey moved to sit at the edge of his seat in a chair across from Jessica, arranging his features in mock concern. He knew this talk was a long time coming. She didn't miss anything that happened in her firm, particularly when it came to Harvey. There's no way she wouldn't have noticed Harvey's interest in Mike. The way she leaned back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked him over, told him that she didn't buy his innocent act for a minute.
"The associates fall under Louis' purview, and I know you know that."
"Louis doesn't deserve him," Harvey muttered, ignoring the look Jessica shot him.
"I'm serious about this. Louis can't manage the associates if--"
"You're the one who told me I needed to mentor someone."
"Your own associate would be a good place to start." Harvey curled his lip in disgust. "Harvey." The warning was back in her voice.
"C'mon, Jessica. The kid is bright, maybe even slightly smarter than me. He should be on the partner track, not wasting his time proofing briefs like a rookie."
"He's a first year associate. If he doesn't like the work..." Jessica spread her hand out, indicating the door.
"Mike's not complaining about the work," Harvey said quickly, cutting off the threat. "And he didn't seek me out but we both know Louis isn't going to do anything for him. I can."
"And where does that leave Kyle?"
Harvey didn't answer. He couldn't even begin to pretend to care about Kyle and Jessica knew that.
"Look, I understand that you see something of yourself in this kid--"
"It's not about that."
"Isn't it? He graduated fifth in his class, just like you, spent two years in the D.A.'s office, just like you. I'm surprised you haven't given him Rene's name."
"He's not like me."
"No? Because from where I'm standing--"
"He's better."
Jessica looked taken aback by that admission and Harvey tried hard not to flinch beneath her unwavering gaze as she studied him intensely. "Please assure me that your interest in him is strictly professional, Harvey Specter, and if it isn't, that you haven't acted on it, because I will not allow you to do anything to jeopardize the reputation of this firm."
Harvey looked away to a point over Jessica's shoulder, his jaw clenching hard. He wondered for a second when he'd feel the anger at being accused of sexually harassing Mike but it never came. Jessica, it seemed, wasn't so far off the mark, and Harvey couldn't help but wonder when that had happened and how he'd missed it. Stupid skinny Mike with his stupid skinny ties.
"This kid is good," Harvey finally continued when he thought he could trust his voice again, "and he's wasted where he is. The only relationship I was offering him was the same one you offered to me--to be his mentor, to help him be the best goddamn lawyer I know he can be so that Pearson Hardman can benefit from his billables and his reputation."
"And that's the only reason we're having this discussion?"
"Yes."
"Tell me something. I've already given you one puppy tied up with a ribbon around his neck who graduated third in his class but who has no real trial experience and could far better benefit from your experience. If you can't manage to feed and water him, then what makes you think I'm going to give you another?"
"I'm sure Kyle will make a adequate trial attorney someday but he's not Mike."
"I paired Kyle with you for a reason, Harvey. Do you know what that is?"
"I assumed it was payback for all the things I've done wrong in my life."
"It's because he's smart and he'll challenge you."
"He never challenges me, except maybe my patience."
"And Mike Ross does?"
"Constantly."
Jessica was quiet for a minute, assessing him again, and Harvey did his level best to keep his face bland and still, as if he hasn't just spent the last twenty minutes fighting for Mike. He almost thinks it's worked until Jessica shook her head, her lips twitching nearly imperceptibly to the side. Her tell. She'd seen right through him. "He's not your responsibility, and I'm telling you, Harvey--not asking. Back off."
Nearly three weeks spent trying to figure out how he can miss someone who is right there (but really not)
Mike stood outside of Rachel's office for a good five minutes before he worked up the courage to push his way inside. He thought it was telling that he was afraid of all the women in his life--Rachel, Donna, Jessica, Gram... On the other hand, he thought maybe that list alone showed he had good reason. They were all scary, especially Rachel when she was pushing a deadline. It was telling of the depth of his anxiety that he ignored her scowl at his knock. "I think I'm being punished."
"Busy."
"C'mon, Rachel. This is important. Harvey hasn't spoken to me in over a week."
"Maybe he's busy, too."
Mike stared down at the crown of Rachel's head, knowing he should leave her alone. He couldn't help pushing just a little bit. "You have to tell me what to do."
Rachel sighed and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're a big boy, Mikey. You'll find a way to make daddy proud of you again."
"You think I'm over-reacting."
"You really are a genius."
"He's still talking to <i>Kyle</i>." Mike grimaced as if the taste of Kyle's name pained him. It kind of did.
"If I give you some advice, will you go away?"
"Yes."
"Go talk to Harvey."
"That's not--"
"Mike."
"Right. Because I'm an adult, not a teenager with a crush."
"You so totally have a crush on Harvey."
"I really do."
A few minutes later
"Can I see him?"
Donna glanced up at Mike, her fingers poised above her keyboard, a "no" already forming on her lips. Mike was prepared for that--had expected it and was about to launch into a well reasoned argument about why it was bullshit when she surprised him instead by clicking off the intercom and leaning in closer.
"He can't help you, Mike," she whispered conspiratorially. "Not anymore. At least not now."
Mike felt a strange, hollow ache form in his chest at her words. He tried very hard to keep his voice steady and his eyes on hers as he leaned in but he couldn't help glancing into Harvey's office. He was there, the line of his mouth showing his annoyance with Kyle as Kyle frantically pawed through a stack of files. Mike's eyes snapped back to Donna when she tapped her finger on the counter in front of him.
"I did something wrong, didn't I? I can make it up to him. I just need to talk to him for a few minutes. I can come back later when he's alone." He hated to see pity in Donna's eyes. It wasn't like her, and it made him feel worse, as if he'd truly lost Harvey.
"C'mon, Mike. I'll let you buy me a cup of coffee."
Donna didn't say anything on the way down in the elevator but Mike hardly noticed. He took her silence to mean that he had done something so terribly wrong, something that Harvey couldn't forgive him for and so Donna was going to-- Going to what? Let him down gently? Mike frowned, knowing he was way off base. If he'd done something wrong on one of Harvey's cases, Harvey would have told him.
"Do you always think this loudly?" she asked as they waited for their coffee.
"Not usually."
"Harvey's not mad at you, if that's what has you twisted up in knots."
"He's quit talking to me."
"There was some indication that his interest in you was causing problems between you and your supervisor."
"He's interested in me?"
Donna laughed at him. "You have really got to develop a better poker face."
"I just meant--"
"I know what you meant, kid, and I know what you didn't say."
"Does he--"
"Your enormous brain is one of his favorite toys, but he's even more emotionally stunted than you are. You're going to have to work harder than that."
"I'm not--"
"Full disclosure. You've been here less than a year and Jessica isn't quite ready to take a chance on you yet, but she'll get there. She just has to see your potential. The mock trial--
"Oh god, Donna--
Donna held up her hand to stop the run of apologies he was about to offer. "It was a good start, Mike. Keep doing good work and eventually--sooner, rather than later, I bet--Jessica is going to offer you partner track. You're better than any of the other associates and she knows that now."
"What about Harvey?"
"Harvey knows it, too."
"I meant--"
"I know what you meant," she said again, more quietly this time. "Harvey went to bat for you but it wasn't time yet."
"He got in trouble for me?"
"Nothing he can't handle or didn't want to take on, but he needed to back off a bit. Just trust him, Mike."
"I do. I will."
"I think you mean that."
"I do," Mike repeated.
"In the meantime, you're going to have to develop your own defense strategy against Louis' legs. If Harvey can't have you, then Louis is losing his tennis buddy."
Mike smiled, warming at the thought--Harvey wanted him. Harvey had fought for him. He'd lost, and that wasn't something that Mike believed could happen to Harvey but still. Lost Mike to Louis--it must be killing him. At the thought, Mike rolled his eyes, giving his best Harvey impression, making his mumbled tennis sound like a particularly vile curse.
"I've always liked baseball better." Donna extracted an envelope from her purse, held it out to him. She winked when he took it. After picking up his wrist to check the time, she grabbed her coffee and left him standing there, calling back over her shoulder. "Get back to work, Mike."
He waited until she was gone to carefully rip the envelope open. Inside was one ticket to that Sunday's game at Yankee stadium.
Two days later. And if anyone tells you that Mike spent that time obsessing about what this meant and what Donna would want in return and whether it might actually lead to him being able to work with Harvey again, then...well, they wouldn't be lying.
For about five minutes on Sunday morning, Mike thought maybe he wouldn't go. It felt too much like a consolation prize, and he wasn't sure he could take much more of Donna being nice to him. In some strange reversal of the natural order of things, it made him feel worse. In the end, he went because he reasoned that the only other person he'd ever seen Donna go out of her way to be nice to was Harvey, and that almost meant something.
He was surprised and not to find it wasn't Donna at all but Harvey sprawled in the premium seat behind the dugout next to the one Mike held a ticket for. Mike stopped at the end of the row and stared for a good minute before Harvey rolled his eyes and waved him in.
"For a minute I thought this was Donna's way of asking me out."
"You couldn't handle Donna."
"I could so--" Mike started to mount his defense but then collapsed into his seat and smiled at Harvey. "No, you're right. She's terrifying."
"She'd eat you alive, though I think you'd probably enjoy it at least for a little while. I know she would."
"She told me what happened. I mean, broad strokes." Harvey just nodded. Of course he knew. "So, is this okay? I mean I don't want to get you into more trouble with Jessica."
"I can't mentor you, kid, but we can still be friends."
"We just can't talk about work, right?"
"I have it on good authority that friends sometimes talk about their jobs with each other. They might even complain about their bosses. Offer advice."
"As friends."
"Exactly."
"And you're my friend." Harvey gave him a look that spoke volumes about how simple he thought Mike was being. Mike just grinned back. "You might even be the best friend I've got."
Several months later
It worked, this thing between them. There were more games, some at Harvey's penthouse on his ridiculously large big screen tv, dinners out, drinks when Mike's done something that no one else thinks to reward him for. It worked, and if it felt a little bit like dating if Mike squinted, then he wasn't complaining. He liked Harvey. He'd always respected him but this was new, especially since work Harvey was very different than friend Harvey.
The lines occasionally crossed, like when Mike showed up for court one morning and found Harvey leaning against his chauffeured town car outside the courthouse. Mike ambled over, clutching the strap of his messenger bag, taking in how good Harvey looked in his three piece suit and designer sunglasses. He could have just stepped out of a GQ ad and Mike couldn't help but wonder if it'd been for his benefit. He kinda hoped so.
"What are you doing here?" He asked when he was close enough. Mike never thought about fashion except when he was this close to Harvey. He was glad he'd put on his best suit (not exactly Prada but not bad either) when Harvey took off his shades and took his time looking Mike over.
"I had business," he finally answered, tugging on the end of Mike's tie.
"In front of the courthouse? On the day I'm nervous about going to court?" Mike asked but he's grinning. He can't help himself.
Harvey shrugged. "I'm a lawyer, too. It's not out of the realm."
"How did you even know I was here? This was Louis' case."
"I hear things."
"Norma told Donna who told you. I didn't even think Norma liked me."
"She doesn't. She likes Donna and knows that Donna keeps an eye on you for me."
Mike let himself enjoy that for a moment before he deflated and leaned against the car next to Harvey. "I'm so going to lose."
"Then why are you here? You know the rules."
"I told you this was Louis' case. His endgame didn't work and suddenly he had an emergency that took him out of the city. He called me on Saturday night and I spent yesterday preparing but it's a lost cause."
"Dad always used to say the only causes worth fighting were the lost causes."
Mike watched Harvey's profile for a moment, his mouth hanging open before he laughed out loud. "Your Jimmy Stewart could really use some work."
"My Jimmy Stewart is fine." Harvey looked down at Mike, his expression caught between mock exasperation and fondness, and the combination caught Mike around the throat. Harvey was the first to look away. "Who's the judge?"
"Morbley."
"He's tough."
"Your pep talk could use some work, coach."
"He's going to hate your tie."
"What's wrong with my tie?"
"We don't have that much time." Harvey rolled his eyes as Mike looked down at the offending garment, smoothing it down with his hand. "Here."
When Mike looked up, he was shocked to see that Harvey was holding out a tie to him, an expensive silk one likely hand sewn by Tom Ford himself especially for Harvey. "You brought me a spare tie? Is it lucky?"
"Put it on and find out," Harvey said but Mike was already yanking his off and shoving it in his pocket. "Ask for a few days to prepare and when he turns that down because Louis has already dragged this out too long, then go with the merits to minimize the damage. You might lose but the judge will appreciate you keeping on point. I know the client will."
"I haven't even met the client yet. Harold's been handling the grunt work on this one."
"Is he here?"
"Should be. He said he'd bring the client over."
"Then you should go."
"Yeah." Mike straightened up and smoothed down the tie, his eyes on the polished toes of Harvey's shoes. He's never been this nervous about court before, but then he's never been this unprepared. Knowing that Louis did it on purpose--not thrown the case but thrown Mike beneath the bus once he knew the case likely couldn't be won--wasn't helping.
"You know the case, Mike." Harvey stepped closer and Mike leaned into him a bit, taking comfort in the weight of Harvey's hand on his shoulder.
"I read it yesterday."
"Then you know the case. Don't think about what Louis did. Jessica has taken notice of you and he's jealous. It's all bullshit. Just think about the case."
Harvey stepped back, putting that bit of distance between them again, and straightened the knot of Mike's tie. "Text me when you're done here."
Mike nodded once, twice, and then walked away, his back straight. He didn't look back until he made it to the top of the courthouse stairs, and found Harvey was still there. He smiled and raised his hand, smiling a bit, feeling worlds more confident than he had when he'd first arrived.
When he turned back around to go into the courthouse, he was so focused on the thought of Harvey that he nearly ran into his former boss. "Cameron."
"Mike, hello. How are you?" Cameron held out his hand but as they shook, Mike could tell that Cameron's attention was already past him. Behind him. "Are you still at Pearson Hardman?"
"Yes," Mike said though he knew Cameron must already know. He always knew everything.
"Working for Harvey?"
"Louis Litt." That at least surprised Cameron a bit if the way his eyes widened meant anything. He was still looking at Harvey over Mike's shoulder and Mike wondered how much of their conversation Cameron saw. Cameron's nice tie as he shook Mike's hand before he headed down the stairs told Mike that it'd been too much.
A week later
The case dragged out for a week and every morning Mike felt as though he was going into battle as he climbed the courthouse steps, and every night he dragged himself back to the firm, exhausted, Harold on his heels, searching for anything that could help. He'd kept Harvey updated with texts (from This case blows to You'll help me sue Louis for gross negligence, right?) and while he kept telling himself that he didn't really expected an answer, he was still surprised when he got no response to his last message late on Friday afternoon, using text speak specifically to get a rise out of Harvey (I...won? Srsly? RU free for drinks 2nite?).
The rest of the weekend was just weird. Mike spent half his time pretending that he wasn't hurt by Harvey's silence and the other half analyzing their every conversation over the last few months like he was John Madden doing half-time analysis during the Super Bowl. The only thing he couldn't deny was that his victory was muted and not even the surprising (shocking) text from Jessica (Congratulations. Come see me on Monday.) lessened that feeling. He wanted Harvey to be proud of him, to give Mike that look that was half proud, half...something else. By Sunday night, he was decided. He would take Donna coffee and Harvey the tie he let Mike borrow and stop acting like he had a crush, which wasn't so much a plan as a resolution to get over it.
It was nearly 10 before Mike could manufacture an excuse to go up to Harvey's floor and the look on Donna's face nearly stopped him in his tracks. Harvey was nowhere to be seen, and Mike couldn't help rejecting the perfectly reasonable and mostly likely explanation for the dozen (all bad) scenarios that went through his mind instead.
"Is he alright?" Mike asked, fearing the worst (had Harvey been in the hospital while Mike was scrutinizing an email from four months ago? He'd never forgive himself.)
"He had dinner with Cameron Dennis last week."
So, it was worse than he feared. "What's going on?"
"They're going after him." She didn't have to say who or why; Mike knew.
"Oh. So-- Wait, why's Harvey involved? He didn't do anything wrong, right?" He asked but it wasn't really a question because there's no doubt in Mike's mind. "I mean, he wouldn't have been involved in anything Cameron had done."
By the time Mike had come on-board in the D.A.'s office, the manipulation of trials had been euphemistically referred to as the good old days. If it happened while he was there--and he supposed it could have--Mike didn't see it, but he knew they were more than rumors, because once he looked at something (like an old case file) he couldn't unsee the evidence (or lack of) in front of him. It was one of the reasons he left, and, since he'd come to know Harvey, had assumed it was why Harvey had left, too.
Donna was watching him put the pieces together, her lips drawn in a tight line.
Mike drew himself up straight, his eyes going past her again to the empty office. "Cameron sold him out."
"Yeah." Bastard.
"Where is he?"
"Conference room upstairs preparing to give his deposition to the Attorney General's Office."
"Alone?"
"Jessica's going with him but he's alone now."
Mike tapped his fingertips against the top of Donna's desk.
"He's not going to want company right--" she started but he cut her off before she could finish.
"I know. Last week," Mike began, hooking his thumb over his shoulder. He could see now that Harvey's radio silence was his way of distancing Mike, of protecting him. "Jessica wanted to see me. I should go before she leaves."
"Mike--"
"It's okay, Donna." And Mike wanted to believe that.
Five rather terrifying moments later
Mike had worked out how to get over his nerves about Jessica, convinced that he didn't have enough polish (as Louis often liked to point out) to suit her and he didn't, not in the same way as the other associate did--at least the ones who weren't struggling under the burden of massive student loans and caring for their Grandma's assisted living costs. He didn't begrudge them (really, he didn't) but he knew there was a line between him and them that only Harvey never let him feel the weight of.
He felt it now, especially as Jessica seemed to be mentally calculating the width of his tie along in relation to his worth as an associate as he stood hesitantly at the door to her office. "Mr. Ross. Can I help you?"
"I'm not letting Harvey take the fall for Cameron," he blurted out, and he really did mean to ease onto the topic. "I'll testify instead. You can make that happen, right?"
"Possibly, but why would I?"
"I was in Harvey's same position. I know. Maybe not as much as Harvey because Cameron didn't put much faith in me. He called me a boy scout. He wasn't wrong."
"Does that mean you're prepared for this?"
The truth was, he wasn't prepared for this at all. On the way up, his mind had already begun to reel off the logical sequence of events. He could be disbarred. He could lose his license. He could lose everything. He wasn't prepared for that--who could be? The only thing he was prepared to do was protect Harvey at any cost, and he wasn't willing to think too hard about his reasons why--not yet. Not now.
Now, Mike nodded once, his eyes never leaving hers. "If you're not willing to help, I'll go to the Attorney General's office on my own."
"If you do that, your days at Pearson Hardman will be limited."
"I suspect they are either way. I can't let Harvey go down for this. He's--" Mike shook his head, stumbling over putting a name to this but Jessica is still staring hard at him. "He's my mentor. He's everything."
Jessica sat slowly back into her chair, her eyes wide as she took a new measure of him, and Mike straightened his back, lifted his chin the way he'd seen Harvey do a hundred times, ready for the fight.
"I'll speak with Ms. Leeds."
"Thank you," Mike said quietly, the weight of what he's done finally catching up with him as he turned to go. Outside the door, he saw Donna where she waited clutching a large envelop to her chest as she watched him, her expression unreadable. He didn't stop to speak with her--he couldn't--and turned away, meaning to go back to his desk but not stopping until he closed the door to his own apartment and sagged against it.
Late, a few days later
It was late in the evening and the halls of Pearson Hardman were dark when Jessica made her way down to Harvey's office, sure that he would still be there. She could hear the music when she stepped off the elevator--blues. Bessie Smith, she could tell as she got closer, the almost tinny sound of the piano dating the record.
Harvey was at the window, his hands in his pockets. His jacket was tossed over the edge of the couch and she picked it up, smoothing out wrinkles before she hung it carefully over the back of his chair. He didn't turn as she fixed them both tumblers of scotch and accepted the drink without word.
"You don't have to testify," she said after a while, once she'd nearly finished her drink while silently watching the lights of the city.
"How did you manage that?"
"You're not the only one who worked for Dennis, Harvey."
"Mike," Harvey breathed and she didn't correct him right away since he wasn't completely wrong. He carried his glass over to the record player, carefully picked up the needle.
"He impressed me," she said to his back.
"I told you."
"I know you did," she answered, though she kept her voice soft as he didn't look as though he could withstand a scolding tonight. She watched as he swirled his drink once, twice, before he took a sip, and still said nothing. "We had a talk a few months ago about him. You may not have his memory but I like to think you can at least remember that far back."
"I do."
"And I told you to stay away from him."
"You turned down my request to have him as my associate. The rest was rather ambiguous."
"The rest was implied. So you went behind my back--"
"I suppose that's epidemic in the firm." Harvey finished his drink and then slid the record back into its sleeve, putting it away. He stood with his back to her again, thumbing through his album collection, and when he turned back, he looked resolved. "I'm not letting him jeopardize his career for me."
"For you? You think this is just about you?"
"With Mike? Yeah."
"This is what I was trying to protect you from, Harvey."
"From Mike?"
"From yourself."
"I don't want to be protected like that-from him. I don't need it."
"So you trust him." She watched him carefully, knowing he didn't trust easily or often, but still found herself surprised when he nodded once, the truth in every line of his body.
She blew out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and moved to sit in his chair. "He came to me and was willing to do anything he needed to protect you."
"What did you tell him to do?"
"Nothing. I told him to leave it with me and then--" Jessica looked up, making sure she had his attention. She did, his jaw rigid and his hands clasped into fists. "And then Donna came to see me."
"Donna?"
"I told you that you weren't the only person who worked for Dennis."
"I'm going to turn in my notice to Jessica on Monday."
"What?"
"I don't think I belong here."
"Mike--"
"No, let me say this Harvey. I've been thinking about it for a long time but I didn't know how to tell you so I'm just going to say it." Mike set his untouched drink down on the window ledge and looked out over the city while Harvey watched the tense line of his shoulders. "Making rich people richer isn't what I went into law for."
"It's not all we do. This case--"
"I know but billables are more than king here, you know that, and I'm tired of constantly fighting for Jessica to see my worth, and don't take that to be a complaint against her. I respect her, if for nothing else because of how much she respects you, but this place isn't for me. I don't want to fight the other associates for the chance to be Louis' pony, which is never going to happen, when all I want to do is--"
Mike fell silent, and Harvey watched his reflection in the glass and saw that Mike was watching him back.
"Do what?" Harvey finally asked when the silence stretched out longer than he could stand. He set his own glass down on the desk next to him and slid his hands into his trouser pockets to keep from reaching for Mike like he wanted.
"Cases like this are why I went to law school, and why I ended up in the D.A.'s Office. I wanted to help people. I wanted to make a difference."
"You do. You can here."
"In ten years' time? If I’m lucky enough to not have Louis burn me out by the end of the year? We've already lost four associates in my cohort since I started."
"I'll talk to Jessica."
"Because that worked out so well for you the last time."
"It was different then. Things are different now. I don't want--" Harvey began and bit it off when Mike turned sharply toward him. "The firm can't afford to lose you."
"The firm."
"Yes, Mike. You're a valuable asset. I can talk Jessica into putting you on partner track now--"
"I don't want that. I don't want my success to come at your expense, and you know that it would"
"Then what do you want? Where are you going to go?"
"I've been offered a job with the ACLU."
"Mike--" Harvey couldn't keep the pained sound out of his voice or stop the wince that accompanied it, but Mike only laughed at him.
"You're the one who told me I needed to figure out what kind of lawyer I wanted to be."
"I meant for you to decide you wanted to be like me."
"I like to think I did, Harvey."
Harvey felt some of the tension in the room and in his shoulders bleed out at Mike's words, could tell that Mike meant it, and suddenly keeping Mike here--keeping Mike with him--was the most important thing in the world. He didn't want him just for the night but forever, in every way, and the realization of that was staggering.
"Let me talk to Jessica first," he pleaded, stretching his hands out in supplication, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears--desperate, needy. "I know that she can make you a better offer."
"It's not about the money."
"I know. I get it, Mike. I do. You want to save the world by spreading your feelings all over the place."
"It's always worked so well for me in the past." Mike smiled at him again, and it was easy this time--fond--and Harvey took a step closer, pushing his advantage.
"Let me figure out a way to keep you here."
"Because I'm an asset to the firm?"
"Because I want you here," Harvey said quietly, feeling some of the daring from earlier flood back into veins. He steps even closer, cupping his hand over Mike's elbow, and when he doesn't pull away, sliding his other hand along Mike's waist.
"You?" Mike asked but it came out breathless, his eyes on Harvey's lips.
Harvey purposefully dragged his tongue across his bottom lip, watching with no small measure of victory when he saw Mike's pupils dilate in response, his confirming I want you swallowed between them as Harvey dipped his head and pressed his lips to Mike's, as they kissed, as Mike kissed him back.
Weeks (that felt like years) later
Mike and Donna were safe, and that counted for a lot in Harvey's book, but the fall out was bad. He wanted to be angry with them both, for going behind his back, for not trusting him--for breaking his trust in them. It took time (and whiskey and angry sex with anonymous (and willing) strangers) to bleed it out because while he could (and did) yell at them both, he'd mostly been angry with himself, which was both more familiar yet harder to deal with. In the end, he forgave them much sooner than either of them understood. He needed them, and that realization was scary enough, but he didn't have time to process it because: fall-out.
There were still cases from his time in the D.A.'s office that Cameron had messed with (his cases) and they had to be fixed. It was more than just his conscious (which burned) but Justice (yes, capitalized) had to be served, especially for Clifford Danner. And for that he needed Mike, and Mike had been there, and Jessica had overlooked it, had done... whatever it was that Jessica did with Louis to make it all right.
It didn't surprise him (at all) that Mike had wanted to help, or that Mike was willing to put so much of himself into reviewing the files and doing with the legwork. It didn't surprise him because he knew Mike--the kind of person he was (the kind that deserved all of Harvey's admiration and respect, not that he's said it out loud). What surprised him was that through all of this, all of the insanity, Mike was exactly what Harvey needed him to be at every moment. He'd been perfect, which was equal amount scary and reassuring.
This was what Harvey was contemplating as he watched Mike read over the draft of Harvey's closing statement. He'd spend most of the evening getting it right but right now… They hadn't won, not yet, but Harvey was confident they would, especially after the confession--how could they not? But this was one final lesson from Cameron that Harvey wasn't going to toss away--he would go into court expecting to win but he would still work for it.
"Good?"
"It is."
"But?"
Mike grinned for what felt like the first time in weeks. "But nothing. It's genius."
"Which is quite an accolade coming from, you know, an actual genius."
Mike rolled his eyes but he looked pleased with the sideways compliment, and Harvey smiled back at him, the moment drawing out into something Harvey couldn't quite put a name to. It had happened before, this…thing but never at the right time, never in the right place, and Harvey wasn't sure now was it, either. They had court in the morning. A man's life hung in the balance. And yet, he had never wanted Mike more than he did in that instant.
He stood when Mike did, Mike gently placing Harvey's laptop back on the surface of Harvey's desk. "Drink?"
"I shouldn't. I have to bike back to Brooklyn."
"I can't believe you still live there."
"I like it."
"You like the view from my penthouse, too." Harvey froze, replayed that last line in his head and wondered how much of a pick-up line it sounded to Mike. If it did, Mike didn't give any indication as he began stuffing files and papers into his messenger bag. Harvey busied himself by crossing over to his small bar and measuring out a few fingers of whiskey for them both.
"Harvey," Mike breathed out, his voice sounding slightly disapproving when Harvey handed him the drink but he didn't turn it down.
"Ray can drive you home on the way to mine."
"I'm hardly on the way to yours."
"I don't mind."
Mike blushed and lowered his eyes, the small smile back on his lips. Harvey opened his mouth to say something even more reckless, something that was going to sound a lot more like a proposition rather than just a hint, when Mike rushed forward with his own surprise, stumbling over his words as if he'd held them in for too long.