Chapter Text
Stede hadn't meant for it to happen like this. He had left his wife and children behind and boarded a dinghy to meet with the contractor for his ship. He'd started production on it ages ago and finally it was ready. He'd gotten to the letter before Mary could see it, tucking it into his sock drawer.
He'd spent a month slowly furnishing the ship while Mary was distracted or busy with her work, making sure it was stocked and ready with a small fortune to care for him and his crew. He'd had it planned out to stop by the docs and search for some folk in need of a job at sea. Surely there’d be some willing to join aboard.
He'd be a pirate captain like he'd always imagined. He was going to be a real pirate. Finally, he was getting the life he'd dreamed of and nobody could take it from him.
Tonight had been the night he’d left. He’d packed a small bag with the last few things he needed, and written a note to Mary. He’d felt guilty about leaving her with only a note after they had argued that night before bed, but he couldn’t worry about that now. Stede only needed to think about his clothes under his robe, the outfit he’d chosen to sail the seas and leave this mundane life behind.
He'd stood in the doorway a few moments, a hand on the frame as he’d stared at the sleeping woman he'd never been able to love, never in the right ways, at least.
"Goodbye, Mary. I'm so sorry it had to be like this," Stede had whispered, holding his bag close before he’d quietly closed the door and snuck down the hall.
He’d stopped at his kids' bedroom next, cracking open the door to see them asleep.
"Goodbye, Alma. Goodbye, Louis. I'm sorry I could never be the father you needed." Stede's heart had stung with that goodbye. He loved his children dearly and hated abandoning them. He’d felt no better than his own father as he kissed the door before closing it, not wanting to disturb the resting children.
Now, Stede was standing in the house for a few final moments. He never intended to come back here, so the few extra seconds under this roof were heaven. He was leaving this all behind for the sea. It was a stab of guilt to his gut, but he knew he'd regret it if he stayed in this life any longer.
He shut and locked the door, quickly making his way away from the house and to the shore. On the rocky ledge by the lighthouse, he'd had a small boat readied for his departure to the shipping docks. The travel on foot was longer than he'd remembered with the guilt that was weighing on his steps.
Stede took a moment to catch his breath as he stared at the dinghy on the rocks awaiting his departure.
He dropped his small bag of necessities in the bottom of the dinghy, settled into the seat, and began rowing. It was late at night and a stiff breeze was blowing over the sea, kicking off the tops of waves to send droplets flying. Stede spluttered as a splash dampened his face, getting salty seawater in his mouth.
The row wouldn't be too far, maybe an hour or so down the beach to reach the canal where he would find his ship, but Stede had silently begun hoping that he could beat the storm.
He once again felt guilt and fear creeping at the back of his throat. Bells chimed in the wind on passing docks, and leaves fell from trees. The branches rustled and creaked, shedding their greenery, covering the beach and ocean in a layer of soon-to-decay plant matter.
Stede rowed and rowed, keeping distance from the shore in order to stay hidden. With a glance out to the open ocean, his last spark of joy was slowly crushed. A heavy storm was rolling in, heralded by large waves rolling towards the shore. He rowed faster, knowing that he was so close yet so far from his destination.
If he died now, nobody would find his body. The only thing he could see for miles was the open ocean and a deserted beach receding into thick forests.
Stede tried not to panic as his dinghy was pulled farther out to sea where the ocean spray began to mix with rain.
He was doomed. The ominous sound of thunder sealed his fate. His heart sank as the waves grew, nearly flipping his dinghy with him inside. Waves splashed over him and into the boat. Thunder boomed and lightning struck nearby. The waves grew, shaking his boat and threatening to tip it once again as the storm raged, pulling him even further out to sea.
Stede struggled for his life as flight or fight kicked in. He’d just begun this mission, how could he possibly die before it started? This was such a cruel fate. The last thing Stede saw before his boat capsized was the full moon staring down at him tauntingly, half obscured by dark storm clouds. He cried out as the dinghy flipped, throwing him into the ocean.
Stede attempted to scream and opened his eyes under the water, trying his hardest to swim upwards towards the light. Bubbles left his mouth as he tried to yell, floating up to the surface in a way that he envied. In the end his struggling was futile, the current’s grip was iron as it pulled him further into the abyss. Stede would never have been able to make it back to shore or even the surface in time.
Fate was so cruel. Stede felt as if he would die if he stayed in his peaceful life, but the second he'd gotten to the sea he was pulled under to drown.
His air was gone before long and he could no longer see the moon’s beauty. His vision dulled as he opened his mouth involuntarily to gasp for air. Water quickly filled his lungs and overtook him, pulling him deeper and deeper into the abyss. This was it.
That was the end.
The cruel, fucked up end for Stede Bonnet.
"Please," he begged.
"Don't let me end before I begin."
It seemed fair and fitting that he didn't even last a day at sea. He hadn't even made it to his ship where that lovely painting of the lighthouse was hung in his captain's quarters. He hadn't even gotten to meet his crew. He hadn't even gotten to set sail.
"I've not found what I've been looking for..."
His eyes scrunched tightly closed as he took in his last gasp and mouthful of water, the thrashing of his body slowly stilling.
This was it.
Stede Bonnet's life ended before it even began.